#im sounding more dramatic than I actually feel tbh

[jude5bellingham]

tbt pt.2 ౨ৎ trent alexander-arnold

part one here!

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x f!reader

summary: part two of throwback thursday, reader is lfc's photographer but people start thinking there is something off when she is exclusively posting tbts

notes: hope u guys enjoy :3

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and liverpoolfc

liked by trentarnold66, liverpoolfc and 102,549 others

yourusername my first heartbreak tbh.. #tbt

view all 80,435 comments

trentarnold66 mine too

yourusername wrong actually! your first heartbreak was when i laughed in your face when you asked me out cause i thought you had to have been joking

ibrahimakonate oh wow😂😂

user1 trent getting aired out on a tbt of 2021/2022 ucl finals post of yn's is crazy😭😭

trentarnold66 it was just a misunderstanding 😒 we are literally married now anyways

virgilvandijk no need to open old wounds

yourusername sorry skip im running out of content

mosalah you will have more if you comeback!

yourusername soon mo!!!!

andyrobertson94 comeback to work soon

yourusername hopefully

user2 yn isnt at work???

user3 we miss you yn

user4 real lads' first heartbreaks💔

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and england

liked by trentarnold66, england and 100,878 others

yourusername throwback to when my (now) ex-boyfriend made me pay stupidly expensive tickets to see him #tbt

view all 60,090 comments

trentarnold66 did not

yourusername did too

joegomez5 you two are such children

yourusername 🤫

trentarnold66 stop calling me your exboyfriend

yourusername you literally are mate

andyrobertson94 your exboyfriend sounds terrible

yourusername he didn't even score! why'd i spend all that money!

ibrahimakonate 😂😂😂

szoboszlaidominik what's your exboyfriends @

yourusername oh hell no....

user5 her calling trent (her husband) her ex boyfriend 😭😭😭

user6 they're literally so funny 😭😭😭

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and england

liked by trentarnold66, england and 120,432 others

yourusername shouting out this young lad from liverpool #tbt

view all 80,003 comments

trentarnold66 ...

andyrobertson94 up and coming young scouse lad

curtisjr young lad just trying to make it

judebellingham that is broski 🙏

user7 i wonder how trent felt seeing these pictures 😭😭

user8 has anyone else noticed she's only been posting tbts?? i know she does normally but she hasn't uploaded a not tbt in a while..

user9 she might just be going through old content!! she has a habit of uploading extra pics from old tbts later when she feels like she needs to post more!!

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66

liked by trentarnold66, liverpoolfc and 109,883 others

yourusername even with setbacks, just know YNWA ❤️‍🩹 #tbt

view all 65,556 comments

trentarnold66 i miss you at the games

yourusername alright pack it up loverboy

yourusername i miss you at games too... GET BACK ON THE PITCH!

judebellingham mate can never catch a break huh

yourusername nope!

user109 WE also miss you yn

harvelliott we miss you

❤️ liked by yourusername

liverpoolfc yn YOU need to remember that ynwa ❤️❤️

curtisjr ^^ ❤️

mosalah ^^ ❤️

ibrahimakonate ^^ ❤️

virgilvandijk ^^ ❤️

yourusername okay relax guys i'm going to cry and i'm a real ugly crier...

trentarnold66 @yourusername liar

andyrobertson94 trent's just a sap after all

user10 is yn okay? why did lfc comment that?

user11 did yn leave lfc?

user12 why are they all leaving hearts and saying ynwa?? did yn leave??

user13 i hope everything is alright yn ❤️ YNWA❤️

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and england

liked by trentarnold66, england and 100,409 others

yourusername when @england hired me for the season and then i literally just watched him have stronger bonds with men than me but that's ok i guess #tbt

view all 80,867 comments

trentarnold66 i'm not even going to say anything

aaronramsdale you're acting like trent didn't kick me out of the room to spend time with you

yourusername okay don't get dramatic! it wasn't even your bed!

aaronsramsdale 🙁

england 😳

yourusername 😳

judebellingham no photos of trent and i?

yourusername yeah as if i was gonna post my ex-boyfriend's side ting

judebellingham ex-boyfriend 😭

user14 did yn leave lfc for the england nt???

user15 if you left for the england nt, we still love you yn ❤️❤️

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and liverpoolfc

yourusername yes i have heard the news, trust me we are all devastated but YNWA klopp and thank you for the memories, especially the ones in the making ❤️❤️❤️ #tbt

user has restricted comments on this post

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and andyrobertson94

liked by trentarnold, andyrobertson94 and 101,255 others

yourusername no words can describe how i feel about this friendship but maybe this ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 emoji can! #tbt

view all 90,888 comments

andyrobertson94 love you both❤️❤️ can't wait for your return

trentarnold66 ❤️

szoboszlaidominik that should be me 💔

yourusername leave my ex-boyfriend and his husband alone... homewrecker...

user16 we hope you feel better ❤️❤️ we miss you and klopp

user17 klopp hasnt even left yet

user18 tell that to the hole in my heart

yourusername and trentarnold66

liked by trentarnold66, andyrobertson94 and 150,809 others

yourusername hi everyone! i'm so sorry i did not say anything during these last few months... if i'm honest they were very difficult. I was not myself for the last few months so I took a leave of absence from lfc, that i'm so incredibly grateful for, and i tried to post like usual even though i was running out of photos and energy. Trent's injury, Klopp's announcement, and everything else in this world felt incredibly hard to deal with but even in those times I could always turn to this community to put a smile on my face. I'm so happy to let you all know Trent and I have welcomed a beautiful and healthy son to our family. anyways, long story short, always remember that i love you and that ynwa❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

view all 109,004 comments

andyrobertson94 Proud godfather here!❤️❤️

user229 omg😭😭😭

liverpoolfc congratulations yn! we love you & ynwa❤️

virgilvandijk ❤️

curtisjr new young scouse lad about to become a superstar 💫

judebellingham 🤍

aaronramsdale ❤️

jordanhenderson ❤️❤️

szoboszlaidominik ❤️

ibrahimakonate ❤️

user19 we love you yn❤️❤️

user20 im so glad you put yourself first❤️❤️

yourusername

liked by trentarnold66, andyrobertson94 and 109,899 others

yourusername my pretty boy 🤍🤍

view all 30,990 comments

yourusername trent is there too i guess

andyrobertson94 you know you could've asked me to take a picture of the three of you right

yourusername you don't get it andy

andyrobertson94 🙄

virgilvandijk two very stylish lads in the pics

yourusername it's cause i styled them after you skipp😁

curtisjr didnt know your exboyfriend could dress so well

yourusername he can't without my help 😕😕

user21 sobs... this is so cute😭😭

user22 dilf trent

❤️ liked by yourusername

user23 theyre soo cute together 😭😭

yourusername

tagged trentarnold66 and liverpoolfc

liked by trentarnold66, liverpoolfc and 120,389 others

yourusername some day my kids will know the winner that their father is #tbt

view all 89,343 comments

liverpoolfc they'll watch him win another with their own eyes

❤️ liked by yourusername

andyrobertson94 more importantly, they'll know how big of a winner their godfather is

yourusername honestly... you kind of are the captain of scotland and a member of the great british empire ...

trentarnold66 okay stop agreeing with each other

yourusername no need for jealousy in my comments

user24 KIDS??? AS IN PLURAL????

user25 omg is this a pregnancy announcement 😭😭

user26 ANOTHER ONE??? OMG

user27 UGHHHHH SPILLLLL

yourusername and trentarnold66

liked by trentarnold66, andyrobertson94 and 100,445 others

yourusername i don't think i could even begin to describe how happy and grateful i am, but i will try. i love the family i have created here in liverpool with the help of everyone. you are all family, thank you for the love and support you have always shown me. ❤️❤️

user has restricted comments on this post

[defensivelee]

May I ask what you think would happen if the Six Lives characters met their historical counterparts? Because I feel that would be so funny.

oh that's actually so interesting to think about! I think there's quite a bit of potential there with the religious angles and all that-- so first thing's first I do not think any of them would like each other. I mean, the Six Lives characters, for the most part, are descended from devils!! generally, these were all Christian men! if they're not outraged by the existence of these characters and how I twist them around in the story, then they are at least annoyed bc many of the characters are certified Sluts™️ (i say that with nothing but love and affection). also, this is a very gay story. not sure how well that would go over.

In any case, I think the imagined individual reactions of the real people would be fun, so we can go over that too ^-^. just a few characters tho or i will lose my mind. go under the cut to see my lunatic explanations ~

William would not like six lives! William, period full stop, and six lives! William wouldn't like real William either. he thinks real William is a PUSSY for not eating de Witt himself, for not killing James himself, etc etc. real William thinks six lives! William is silly and ALSO a pussy bc I purposely made him kind of damsel-in-distress coded, so yeah... all the things William does in the tenth hot spring, real William would be like 'how the FUCK do you let that happen to yourself?' probably not the biggest fan of BDSM. also, he's really gonna be fucking Bentinck and make the rumors real? really? aren't you better than that, fake William?

Mary wouldn't like six lives! Mary either, for the reason that the latter Mary is incredibly VIOLENT. she also literally killed William once, so Mary likes that even less. however, six lives! Mary really likes real Mary, mostly bc she's what six lives! Mary wishes she could be. a non violent pretty princess, later queen, married happily to William, for the small price of switching up to what is probably a way less horny religion? she'd take it! i think she'd just be obsessed with real Mary for that reason. real Mary, despite being somewhat afraid of her, still feels bad for her.

Bentinck fucking despises six lives! Bentinck, bc i intentionally made him way worse than he was historically! i don't think he was one for senseless violence, and while six lives! Bentinck is kinder than many of the other characters, it's not rlly a helpful comparison... his kill count is in the double digits. the majority of the sex he has is also 🔥GAY🔥 so that would be VERY irritating. i mean six lives! Bentinck's whole existence is kind of slander poetry. however, six lives! Bentinck likes real Bentinck enough just bc he's super niceys and very loyal to William. ironically, he likes real Bentinck more for not killing people for funsies kek

real Marly, to nobody's surprise, hates six lives! Marly, bc WHY IS HE IN LOVE WITH JAMES ? WHY IS HE LETTING THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO HIM? my interpretations of Marly start off at the fact that he is in love with James, which is why he fears him later on-- real Marly never fell in love with James, so ig there's less to worry about there. six lives! Marly ALSO has lots of sex with men, which has even less basis than it does with maybe someone like William or Bentinck. real Marly probably wants this loser dead; however, it's a bit of a Mary situation again with six lives! Marly. he WISHES that were him, being in the english army sounds a lot easier to him than dealing with James' bullshit.

and finally, six lives! James thinks real James is painfully normal, which might say a lot about himself, and real James thinks six lives! James is literally his counterpart possessed by the devil. he has like this dramatic scrooge moment except he doesn't turn better, i think it just makes him more catholic tbh. also, six lives! James would tap that. im telling you, if theres a hole, theres a goal...

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

WHAT DID U GUYS THINK ABT THE LATEST MV IM GOING INSANE

tw for suicide, mention of alcohol

Admin Saturn: I now have a crush on kazui! The other admins have been trying to convince me that because his whole arc is showing why he's not a good husband to his wife but like bro... open marriage and a guy that buys me flowers and holds my hand and takes me on drives? Sounds pretty swaggy to me! Also he ate a bird! Thats kinda wack!

Overall based on the info we have and everything he's said in his VD (assuming its to be trusted cause he does have that whole lying thing going on), I would personally go with inno. Like unless his sin was suicide baiting her, I don't entirely see how this could turn into a guilty situation. Definitely not on the same level as a lot of the other prisoners. (looking at how guilty mahiru should be but isn't getting)

Admin Venus: I'll summarize what I talked about in my theory, but honestly, I feel like Kazui didn't do all that much wrong. He seems like he just kinda let life go the way other people wanted it to go for him, and somewhere along the way he realized he really didn't enjoy it. At some point he got "greedy" and took steps to try to change that, but his wife probably committed suicide or possibly got into some kind of accident or something. Either way, that's what resulted in her death.

Between that and him being useful on defense from a meta standpoint, I'm not sure why I would vote him guilty. I wish we knew more though, I feel like both half and Cat were pretty sparse on details relating to the actual death of his wife. Like, I understand your situation, Kazui, tell me what actually happened!

Side note though, it's really interesting to me in the audio drama that he says he wants Es to find out his sin. In the first trial, I'd thought his MV was giving nothing because he was purposefully burying details to hide them from us. After hearing that line in the audio drama and seeing this MV, I feel more like Kazui's repressing his feelings on whatever his sin is so hard that even the MVs can't quite get at them.

(Also, the fact that we still haven't seen anyone who he's romantically involved with (other than his wife) adds to the theory that he's gay for me. A lot of other people (Shidou's wife, Mahiru's lover, etc.) have gotten relevant characters' faces revealed this time, and while we did get that for Kazui's wife, I feel like who he was with would've been revealed to us unless there was a specific reason to hide it (ex. he was with a man).)

Admin Mercury here. Uhhh I really got nothing on my mind but shitposts tbh. When listening to his VD, I really got the impression he was still lying or at least being overly dramatic like the theater kid he is. Especially in this part:

(translation thanks to @/onigiriico) The way he delivers these lines seems so fake to me, but I realize this might just be personal bias talking. Idk yall, lemme know what you think ab his delivery in the comments below (PFFFT sorry)

Admin Neptune: I'm definitely team innocent. Although it seems like Kazui hurt his wife by not wanting to be married anymore, he tried to be a better person and stop lying to her. Unfortunately, according to him, this resulted in her death. It doesn't really seem like he did much wrong, especially compared with many of the other prisoners, and he helps keep the prisoners safe.

The part where his wife's image transforms into what is seemingly a man with an apple for a head (along with other parts such as the "I can't stop, I can't be normal") leads me to believe that he's gay. Assuming that the apple is supposed to represent something he feels is forbidden, this part could represent his desire to date/marry a man instead. I find it interesting that he sees this image through an alcoholic drink, and I feel like it represents something but I'm not completely clear on what.

Since Kazui says "I can't live unless I lie" as mentioned above in the VD, I wouldn't be surprised if he was still lying, but I do believe that he never actually cheated on his wife. I do wonder if he would consider "emotional cheating" infidelity, and it seems like the temptation might have been there when he says "it didn't even turn into infidelity."

[quietbluejay]

Bluejay Reads Warhammer Samples 1

Because I need something to do to take a break from packing. So I'm going to put my sample impressions of books I haven't read (yet) here.

First up, Ashes of Prospero, The Solar War, The Lost and the Damned, Slaves to Darkness

description of daemon magnus is. something.

he's blue badabee badaba

but is he on the boulevard of broken dreams his wings are "ornamental and dramatic" well the imperium does one (1) thing right they use metric

Our hero squelches his way along

he's got a pet raven and he named it nightwing that's so cute wait your door handles have the ouroborous on them? that's kind of….thousand sons of you

you know what, good on the space wolves for having a nicely decorated space

must be a huge pain to keep clean though

honestly this is a pretty sweet setup

khayon 🤝 njal have a fun animal familiar and not sleeping due to nightmares caused by the space wolves/thousand sons invading their planet okay done the sample sadly the wacky body sharing antics did not begin definitely getting the vibe that this guy is more of a fantasy writer

New sample time back over to horus era oh it's emperor shenanigans again

so, i heard some concerning stuff about French's writing for the Horus Heresy but this seems good

ELMO EMOJI

yeah yeah the corpse on the throne foreshadowing, we've all seen it

amazing you just summed up the over-theme

oh hi Mersadie, been a while Mersadie is now imprisoned

she seems um. surprisingly mentally well for someone who has been in solitary confinement for seven years oh, nvm, she's having hallucinations

man poor Mersadie, gets solitary confinement for the crime of…being one of the only two surviving remembrancers for the Sons of Horus okay so you know how i said sometimes you can hear what the author was listening to as they wrote? im breathing in the chemicals well, it's Sound of Silence here owo jaghatai is here ew malcador is here

sexy lamp horus strikes again also, as always, French is great at mood-setting

i don't think this is necessarily bad writing, but tbh as always i am deeply uninterested in space battle play by plays so i am leaning against adding this book to the to-read pile OH NO NOT AGAIN THE HUMAN TALLOW CANDLES STRUCK WHEN I LEAST EXPECTED THEM as if summoned by the human tallow candles, blorbo shows up ahriman!!

i did not expect abaddon to quote poetry anyways yeah i don't think this is necessarily a bad book, but it doesn't seem like one I'm interested in

another sample oh hey it's Guy Haley! oh this is the one where abaddon mutes angron on zoom and it starts the day before valentines day. lol

if i had a nickel for every primarch described as "uncompromising and severe" i'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it makes me disinclined to like dorn

sanguinius i guess gets left as the dumb blond where the other two get characterization notes yeah. haley definitely improved by the time he got to writing plague wars this is better written than Valedor but not as good as Dark Imperium

im ngl he feels more norse than the space wolves lmao huh you know i feel like this is one of the least-horny descriptions of a woman stripping i've run across so glad it's not McNeill writing this

lmao

dorn: yeah uh, actually, i kind of really need to know this stuff since i'm the general in charge of fighting against it

looks at current situation looks at malcador yeahhhhh im gonna have to side with dorn on this one

man kinda wish horus' attempt to assassinate malcador had worked also jaghatai continues to be best boi jaghatai: he should have trusted us more malcador: look what happened with the bit he did trust you with im rolling my eyes so hard

dorn: okay but like HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT DAEMONS HUH malcador: don't worry about it, i got it yeah uh this explains so much also dorn isn't making too bad an impression on me

MORTARION MENTION

you know, i feel like there should have been some more reflection from lion

in his book, i mean hm okay, i might actually read this one at some point also, Vulkan's been alive for months and malcador is only telling them now behold! the man largely responsible for turning the imperium into what it was

still feeling like crap time for ANOTHER sample this is not grabbing me oh it's Malcador AGAIN oh it's flashback with pre-sexy lamp horus

GIVE ME THE FORBIDDEN HORUS CONTENT

This is supposed to be the Horus Heresy so why is he just a sexy evil lamp in most of them

aaaargh! human fat candle again! checks writer name JOHN FRENCH MUST BE STOPPED HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS okay our chaos priest word bearer dude wanders around naked

blorbo spotted!

i think it would have been extremely funny if the mournival had weekend-at-bernies'd wounded horus i'd read that or better yet if russ had actually managed to kill him and they used his dead body

[just-some-random-blogger]

part 2 for the lovie-cutie!! well its cute but just dont touch the yellow snow... 'DO YOU HAVE EGGPLANTS ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓' we do. 'im sure some of them are older than me' well im wearing my moms coat thats older than me. maybe your age HGJDJFG SORRY. sorry, catmom. oldie but goldie. im impressed by such a great collection. 'im hungry T_T' bon appetit ig TT 'i used to have a crush on my philosophy teacher' awwww. ive read a fic like this... idk if i ever had a crush but i absolutely had some strong feelings to my rus lang teachers and the math one bc of the mommy issues ig... sorry, im back to your story. no but its a kinda cute story. but the ending is ??!!!?!! hajffk if it makes sense. writing poetry abt smn sounds nice. i used to write some poems abt my first idk sympathy? too. it was a more dramatic story (not underestimating your feelings!). if youre glad these feelings went away, im glad for you. all experience is an experience to have and liking smn worth of being felt. 'ARE YOU TUMBLR' you never know.... ITS SUCH A CUTE STORY WITH THE BLUES CLUES TT its delightful that content that can stimulate childrens interest in science exist. 'and i remember learning that mars had 2 moons' deimos and phobos! deimos is pronounced just as daemon dont you see any like.... OMG i was going to talk abt the moons but!! targaryens are said to be more like gods but if an au with them as greek and roman gods? daemon as the god of war anD! aemond as the hades who marries persephone and cherishes her like nothing else. theres probably smth like this on tumblr but ive just thought abt it. so. these 2 moons was literally the only thing i remembered and ALWAYS said during my astronomy lessons. to the point my teacher was like 'oh katyas going to like this question' and i was like DEIMOS AND PHOBOS my babes TT SORRY i got carried away. 'they have two nights' AAAW these cute childrens assumptions on how the world works TT i lovelove them so much. theyre so cute and amusing TT but its a good logic! big baby brain! its good your brain didnt explode!! it wouldve been such a tragedy to loose THE genius brain! 'a post which was like you cant think of a color' oh this provoking shit! ig the fact that i can make out the constellations has smth with the tilt of Earth? my hometown is pretty very very close to the border of the North Pole so atmosphere there is thinner and basically? it means? sky is closer? smth like this. tbh the northern sky is the sight to see. both in winter and in the summer. bc in winter the constellations are visible and yk the polar night while in the summer its the polar day and the sky is so white-ish, the sun never sets down and the airs so fresh TT omg i miss it. also this cute dream abt stars TT its so touching that you wanted to see constellations that much. 'ok then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sandman fics it is' OK now YOURE provoking. ok maybe next message. 'i imaged her to be younger' me too but doesnt she deserve it? 'BAD INFLUENCE BUT ALSO BRILLIANT MIND' THANKS im trying my best. im glad you liked it! hope to see it one day in your blog. anything, actually. so good luck with your queue! im finally gonna sleep YEY. have a nice day/evening/night!! good luck! love you! take care <з

HEWWO

i watched an ep of doctor who with my mom T_T it was a mistake to pick a random ep i was very ? confused i was pretending i understood it and just watched til the end because i was tryna commit to it T_T HAHHAHAH

anyway heres a kitty for good luck

omg this reminds me of this stray that went up to our house and i pet him and he was so sweet and he laid in front of me and i was like i want to pet you but if i pet you im going to have to feed you and i have no food im so sorry so its a no for me 😩😞 it was a dark day for humanity

well its cute but just dont touch the yellow snow...

STOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPP TT_________TTTTTTTT YUCK

'DO YOU HAVE EGGPLANTS ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓' we do.

very good

'im sure some of them are older than me' well im wearing my moms coat thats older than me. maybe your age HGJDJFG SORRY. sorry, catmom. oldie but goldie. im impressed by such a great collection.

im not offended by that at all i wear my moms clothes that are older than all of us sibs so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you dont have to apologize for it. i dont think ill ever be offended by being called old at least i hope not. ill always be old to someone and young to others

'im hungry T_T' bon appetit ig TT

im hungry again but i cant eat cos im going to sleep and i cant sleep with a full stomach it hurts when i do T_T or ok not hurt its just uncomfy

'i used to have a crush on my philosophy teacher' awwww. ive read a fic like this... idk if i ever had a crush but i absolutely had some strong feelings to my rus lang teachers and the math one bc of the mommy issues ig... sorry, im back to your story.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAH MOMMY ISSUES

im glad you find my cringe cute HAHAHAH 🤢🤢🤢

no but its a kinda cute story. but the ending is ??!!!?!! hajffk if it makes sense.

HAHAHHHHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT DID YOU EXPECT THAT ID DATE HIM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO T_T

writing poetry abt smn sounds nice. i used to write some poems abt my first idk sympathy? too. it was a more dramatic story (not underestimating your feelings!).

lol HAHAHAH im not offended by things like that MY GOSH DO YOU THINK IM PETTY i am BUT NOT THAT PETTY

if youre glad these feelings went away, im glad for you. all experience is an experience to have and liking smn worth of being felt.

im so glad 😩💅😬🤢

'ARE YOU TUMBLR' you never know....

ITS SUCH A CUTE STORY WITH THE BLUES CLUES TT its delightful that content that can stimulate childrens interest in science exist.

YES I LOVE THAT VIDEO GAME SO MUCH IF I HAD IT I WOULD PLAY IT YOU KNOW WHAT LET ME TRY AND FIND IT TO AT LEAST SHOW YOU IF I CANT PLAY IT

omg i think this is it im going to cry

i dont remember it being like this entirely but i think this is it. HELP PLUTO MY PLUTO T_T im going to cry

'and i remember learning that mars had 2 moons' deimos and phobos! deimos is pronounced just as daemon dont you see any like.... OMG i was going to talk abt the moons but!!

HAHHAHAH i have no idea what the mars moons are called but if you say so i trust you i might remember this this time around because i dont have a kid brain anymore just a large kid brain HAHAHH

targaryens are said to be more like gods but if an au with them as greek and roman gods? daemon as the god of war anD! aemond as the hades who marries persephone and cherishes her like nothing else.

LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE THIS IN AND OF ITSELF IS ALREADY SUCH A GREAT STORY IDEA PLS THATS SO GOOD NAUR I HAVE TO WRITE THIS DOWN

theres probably smth like this on tumblr but ive just thought abt it. so.

ur such a bad influence who cares if theres smth like this you nor i have not written it so thats all that matters

these 2 moons was literally the only thing i remembered and ALWAYS said during my astronomy lessons. to the point my teacher was like 'oh katyas going to like this question' and i was like DEIMOS AND PHOBOS my babes TT SORRY i got carried away.

HAHHAHA THATS FINE <3 its so fun that we have a shared interest with space!!! LOVE THAT FOR US. go off my deimos and phobos queen she like me for real reciting and stuff HAHAAH

'they have two nights' AAAW these cute childrens assumptions on how the world works TT i lovelove them so much. theyre so cute and amusing TT but its a good logic! big baby brain! its good your brain didnt explode!! it wouldve been such a tragedy to loose THE genius brain!

T_T IM GLAD YOU THINK MY SUFFERING WAS CUTE you have no idea how frustrating this was for me i was like so if a day is 24 so half of that would be day half would be night but then i was like then that means they have ... 1 night.... and just really short days T_T HLAKHLKASHFLSAFLSAFASF im glad i didnt lose my brains either

'a post which was like you cant think of a color' oh this provoking shit!

it was i cried like literally literally bawling cried

ig the fact that i can make out the constellations has smth with the tilt of Earth? my hometown is pretty very very close to the border of the North Pole so atmosphere there is thinner and basically? it means? sky is closer? smth like this. tbh the northern sky is the sight to see. both in winter and in the summer. bc in winter the constellations are visible and yk the polar night while in the summer its the polar day and the sky is so white-ish, the sun never sets down and the airs so fresh TT omg i miss it.

i think it has to do with light polution as well. i live in the city so the lights are never off, never fully. also damN IS THE SKY CLOSER WTF THERE ???? damn. i mean i can see the stars here i just ??? idk which is which

also this cute dream abt stars TT its so touching that you wanted to see constellations that much.

[kicks can] im such a fucking nerd dude HAHHAHHHA

'ok then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sandman fics it is' OK now YOURE provoking. ok maybe next message.

lol ok HAHAHAHA

'i imaged her to be younger' me too but doesnt she deserve it?

but it isnt about deserve its about tradition. rhaenys deserved to be heir but nah

'BAD INFLUENCE BUT ALSO BRILLIANT MIND' THANKS im trying my best. im glad you liked it! hope to see it one day in your blog. anything, actually. so good luck with your queue!

HAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAH i hope to see it to T_T i always like your ideas! and yes my queue T_T my loooong queue

im finally gonna sleep YEY. have a nice day/evening/night!! good luck! love you! take care <з

same my back hers as per usual

im luv you so much my dear

xxx

[r08s]

i asked my friend of aprox 10 years to hang out. it was 11:37 when i send her the message. she was online multiple times on instagram yet nothing. i texted a “?” at 1:20. same thing: active on ig but no reply to me. finally at 4 she responds.

we meet up and i feel just…empty? i know this sounds edgy but for example if i saw her last summer, i would have been so happy and excited and i wouldn’t stop talking. but this time i just looked at her and i wanted to leave, even tho i was the one who invited her… i felt so so numb, she also pointed out my strange behavior but she didnt ask if it was because of her.

honestly the whole day 4 hours spend together seemed like im hanging out with someone who secretly hates me. she didnt say any rude remarks but everything was just odd and i almost passed out at one moment (perhaps this was also because i slept only 5 hours)

we kinda gossiped and talked about guys, we always do this, however it felt so draining? actually i dont think this is the correct word, maybe awkward? we cracked some jokes but i was really forcing myself to smile and laugh, she defo noticed this. i was also just spacing out a couple of times

when we said goodbye, i didnt feel sad as i usually do when we separate. but this time i was just done, relieved and exhausted. and also screw the uber driver who tried to make a conversation with me about stupid teslas

i now really think we’re drifting apart. we had the previous week free and we didnt get to hang out at all… the active on ig and no reply thing happened then too…despite this, she did hang out with two other girls. awesome.

i feel so lonely. ever since i was little i thought that i would grow up in this cool teenager with a huge friend group yet here i am, crying for the 38295th time in the bathroom. i really just want someone i could talk to. someone who replies to me all the time. someone who appreciates me. someone with who i would never be awkward or uncomfortable with. someone who wouldn’t judge me. someone who would jump off a bridge if i also jumped. someone who i’d consider my best friend. someone who’d consider me their best friend. maybe i already met this person and maybe im the problem because of my stupid anxiety and my stupid undiagnosed depression and my stupid attachment issues and my stupid self as a whole.

today i had planned to tell my friend about some of the thing mentioned here but i guess i couldn’t bring myself to do it. she really asked me if something is wrong but i just shut her down.

maybe i will tell her next time. but how? or maybe the real question is when? i mean, ive been the one who mostly began the convos. i really am going to wait for her to just say something.

(today is saturday) not the upcoming week, but the next one it will be my birthday (im celebrating it by visiting paris so it will be no actual party with friends, just family). but i do wonder what she is gonna do then. like, just a hbd text or something more? tbh that “something more” could be even a bday card, i’d be really happy for one. i dont wanna sound selfish but i truly think i deserve something from a friend i’ve known for a whole decade, a friend who i love(d?) so much, i even bought her a gucci perfume so yeah i do deserve something a bit bigger than a one-minute happy bday text. again, it doesnt need to be extravagant, just something to show if she really cares about me, about our friendship. even my classmates, who ive known for only 6 months, are going to make me a surprise.

or maybe im just miserable and lonely. perhaps i shouldnt be spending my bday in paris but rather in a therapy session.

also i need to buy a new mascara since my maybelline sky high has been kind of dry. also as i said, rn im crying and yet the mascara isnt running down my face in the dramatic way as it should be..

[everything-i-couldnt-tell-u]

i dont know what the reason is but im so sensitive when it comes to you. you're special to me so i end up expecting more from you than from other people but it only makes me get too vulnerable. i get triggered way too easily when it's you. small changes in your tone or actions easily threatens me. i dont know if its because of the past which made me unnecessarily scared of even the slightest changes in you. i feel my chest getting tight when your tone sounds like i might done something that pissed you off, or when you dont reply then i get anxious cause how will i know if you're just busy doing something or if you're already dead? not gonna lie, i sometimes even end up hyperventilating due to the amount of anxiety that consumes me.

tbh im still bothered by the time you said you were gonna kys. i thought i wasnt affected by it too much after finding out you were okay naman, but i guess that was only because i havent processed it yet.

not to be selfish and im not saying that anyone should be prioritizing my feelings over their own cause i know you were going through things that time, but it was so sudden. that very experience continuously tells me i might not be worth much for everyone i've met to consider how i would feel before they suddenly do things.

not just with you, but it made me realize that it's the same with everyone else. i havent met a person who considers how i feel before they do something and that's usually the common reason that repeatedly hurts me. people say what they did was a "mistake" but my feelings feel like they're never gonna be considered. i just look "too sensitive" to everyone and its always they "didnt know it would affect me like that" and i'd be dramatic if i feel too hurt over it.

this feeling im trying to deal with wasnt caused by you, but i think it's due to the repeated experience of getting hurt after people dont consider what i feel. a lot of people have hurt me the same way and i should be used to it atp. it just got triggered cause i trusted you too much again which is still my fault cause i should stop expecting too much.

mom says sorry about the awful stuff she said before cause she failed to consider how it would affect me, but im already far too hurt to still be capable of trusting words. and the time before you tried to kys, you did try telling me that you care about me. but after that, i'll see you suddenly disappear. please dont think na makapal muka ko for me to feel hurt over it cause you're not obligated to stay with me in the first place and it's my fault for getting too attached if i get hurt. pero that very thing where you said you cared, but after a few days suddenly disappear? made me lose the capability to trust that i really meant much to you and made me to further lose the capability to trust words too. cause your words sounded like you were saying you genuinely care and would stay with me even if i wouldnt be of use to you, but your actions made me feel like you did care but not enough to consider how i'd feel before doing things. again, im not trying to guilt trip you over it. i think i just need to admit that i was really hurt a lot.

whenever i experience people making me feel like they didnt consider how much i'll get affected by something they've done in the past, i lose the ability to trust that they actually care. since im aware that they're capable of doing something that has hurt me severely, what reason do i have to not fear they might do it again in the future?

and then my friends only like talking about themselves too. they suddenly get dry or just straight up show it to my face that they'll never care once i start talking about myself. that's why the slightest change in your tone scares the shit out of me and i randomly get triggered in fear that i might've done something wrong. that i might have annoyed you the same way and i might've done the same mistake that might've caused my former friends to get sick of me.

i might be unreasonable for instantly changing the way i perceive people and withdrawing my trust despite knowing that those people who've made me feel hurt never meant it, but i dont know how long i can continue ignoring how i really feel. even if i know that people didn't mean it, that they never intended for it to hurt me like that, it doesnt change the fact that im still hurt.

im gonna make it clear again that i dont hate you nor am i still angry about those things in the past. but i am still very much affected by those and they come back to haunt me. im so scared of trusting anyone or anything now. i still care about you, but it's just that the amount of trust i have for you isn't the same as before. and because of that, i dont want to get too close to you anymore. im already far too scared of getting hurt even further. i no longer feel safe expressing my love for you cause it just makes me anxious. i still care about you, but i dont think i'd be capable of showing that too much because i cant trust that it would be worth it. and also, i didn't freely express my love and adoration for you back then because i expected to gain it back. those were genuine, and all really expected was that my love would be safe in your hands. i thought i wouldnt be hurt and disappointed for choosing to do that even if it makes me so vulnerable, but i cant do that anymore even if i want to.

to be honest i dont know if i should keep staying with you since i know how easily i get triggered with you, but how the hell am i gonna do that when i have already loved and still love you? i sometimes try convincing myself that i hate you and that im just too attached to you. i try denying it because it hurts too much to still love someone that has already hurt me. it hurts to still crave for your attention and validation even after everything. it feels wrong to still want to spend time with you and keep loving you, to still want to consider you as the most special person to me when you're also one of those persons that have hurt me the most. but the fact that you're one of those persons that have hurt me the most isn't because you've done anything worse to me than other people have. it's still due to me trusting and expecting too much that i'd be safe with you that has made the small things you've done affect me more than it should've only had.

i dont want to consider cutting ties as an option again cause i always regret it. i cant seem to figure out if a big part of me is dependent on you that's why i still dont want to leave even if it hurts? i dont know if i just maybe need a lot of time to recover?

i am very sure though that i do not hate you, and i know that i will still choose to stay with you. if there's a way to get this fixed without cutting ties involved, i want it but i dont know how that's supposed to happen.

if i do take a break from talking to you, it leads me to getting consumed in doubt and i'll start making assumptions about you and cause how i see you get even more distorted. but if i do continue talking to you, i get more exposed to stuff that easily gets me triggered.

but even if you try to reassure me or repeatedly say that you care, you're genuine, or that you could be trusted, it just never works. i really cant trust words cause i never have anything that can prove it. maybe i can trust actions more than words, but we only talk through chat so i dont know if that can be done. and even if requesting for that would help me trust you back and not get too sensitive, i feel like it's too much to ask for. i'll just feel guilty over it. i'll feel like a burden cause why do you have to do that much just for the sake of helping me? it's gonna require too much of your patience and time, and i dont think i have the right to ask for that. i've never even done anything for you but get too sensitive over the smallest things and drag you into my own mess all because my mental state is so fucked up and i complicate everything.

i dont know if im just making assumptions, but i feel like you're slowly getting sick of me. i've been very reluctant to tell you everything i've said here cause i dont wanna ruin your day. i dont want to add up to your problems. im scared cause of how many times i've already broke down like this. im scared that telling you how i really feel will make you hate me.

i dont want to look like im playing the victim again if ever that's how it looks like while you're reading this, but all of what i said is half of how i really feel. don't worry cause the happy side i show when talking to you are still all genuine. these feelings i only confessed right now were the ones i try to hide because i fear that you wouldn't want to see them. these feelings i repress are only the stuff i feel after talking to you, after something accidentally triggers it. im scared that you might get angry or react violently if i admit that i got hurt, im scared that you might get offended.

i didnt say all of this to vent out the pain i feel on you. i just think i should let you know how i really feel. and also im not letting you know how i feel to gain a sorry or reassurance or anything else. i dont really need you to reply to this or do anything, but i just really want you to hear me out. i only said all of that because i wanted to be honest and i just hope it can clear up some things maybe?

although if you are getting sick of me, if i've been doing or if i've said stuff that you dont like, please tell me. please tell me if you still wont mind having me around or if you're no longer comfortable with me after everything i said here. sorry if this was way too long again to read btw

im not sure if im only feeling like this due to my period and i might regret saying all this to you, but its better to let you know than to hide how i feel

[cantalooprat]

Silent Reading

What I Liked

f e i d u ohmygod fei du!!!! truly one of the best main chars written in danmei ever. he's such a tragic character n yet so unbelievably strong as well, like wtf the readers reading modu know he's the victim of child abuse but he himself believes that he's a monster, the same kind as his father, even though time and time again he's shown that he's actually kind inside and not at all like the heartless fei chengyu hnnnnng i want him n luo wenzhou to be happy forever n ever pls pls pls

haa the romance is so good, i loved it in the beginning when they were both chasing after? tao ran n then when tao ran met his high school crush again they were both stuck in this awkward mutual commiseration stage n then they just... inadvertently flirt... n its super awkward... but then when they actually do start falling for each other... haa...

their romance has a v diff vibe from the usual danmei ideal of "you are my destined one, the only one for me in the entire universe, this lifetime (and the next)", theirs is more like "in this life, you may not be my first, but i've chosen you to be my last and i hope you will choose me too, for the rest of my life" n like... its a more realistic romance, a different flavor of sweet

tje fukin CAT i love luo yiguo n i love when lwz started thinking that fei du is the Second Luo Yiguo like its so true... also how tao ran brought yiguo to lwz n lwz was like nah bro but he loves the dumbass fat cat so much!!! its like how initially hes like fei du this brat but now he loves his fei du so much too!!!!! (n then in the end they got a second cat!!!!!)

the cases r so good n some parts r srsly suspenseful n made me gasp like the 3rd case bomb n fd shielding lwz, when tao ran got caught in another explosion (!!!!!), when xiao wu Died n i was sad!!!! even the zhou bros i thought it was gna be mdzs nie bros remix n it was kind of like that n i was sad again!!!

tao ran!! angel!!!! lang qiao!! the most chaotic imperial princess!!!! xiao haiyang!! awkward bean!!!! i love them all they def made modu a more enjoyable read

how can i not say anything abt the ad ost, the ad ost is literal perfection, both yimo n xinggang!!! even the dialog bits they chose for the maoerfm ver ugh,,, i love the way both r similarly vibed dark dramatic ballads, similar but not the same so when one wants to have More, they can listen to the other song n feel fulfilled n satisfied even more, n the lyrics haa i love the lyrics

ok the dialog bits tho, i was super excited to get to the dialog in the beginning of yimo n wah its actually in extra 1 which is like past the ending but it fits so well n they sound so happy im cryig, n then for xinggang they chose the confession (!!!) for the beginning n the sad sad "i'm the last monster left, won't you lock me up in your house" line for the end n im!!!! its so perfect!!!!!!

What I Disliked

as usual i am smallbrain n the last case trying to tie up all lose ends just sort of lost me lmao

iunno theres v few bad things i found abt modu, it was just? so well-crafted? so good? but when all is said n done i just don’t have lasting feelings for it. tbh so far out of all of the priest novels i’ve read, liu yao still has the most lasting impression lmao

Notes

!!!!!!! i have been so excited to write my shitty review for modu

priest is a goddess

luo yiguo!!!!!!!!

Quotes

In my heart, a cluster of flowers lifts their faces to the burning sun, More sweet-smelling than all fine wines. The boiling fragrance has engulfed the scarecrow’s chest, The straw spirit henceforth enjoying boundless longevity.

I’ll trust you again, even though you have such an unreliable record, and if you hurt me again… It seems I still won’t be able not to love you. 

[roguestarsailor]

I really really hate QR code menus!!!! I’m trying to hang out with my friend and I don’t want to look at my stupid phone!!!!! I hate it! Restaurants should let you leave out your phone and just be immersed in real life!!!!!!! Fuck QR Codes!!! I love physical paper and being able to hold something! GET RID OF QR CODES!!

[bunnihearted]

.

[majimanowhere]

It's me again! Thank you for answering to my recent ask!

I would like to request for headcanons for Nishiki, Kiryu and maybe even Ichiban if you write for him (all from yakuza) with a s/o who gifts them a plushie based off what their tattoos represent? Like..for Nishiki a koi, for Kiryu a dragon and for Ichiban a dragonfish (It sounds so cheesy omg)

If the request doesn't vibe with you you can skip it! Again, have a good day or night!

so uh.,,.it’s been several months since this request 😋 sorry for the long wait! i have no excuse i’m just lazy :P

irezumi inspired plushie hcs

nishiki

okay so these are specifically for y0 nishiki, i feel like kiwami nishiki would just throw the stuffed animal away im sorry 💔

jfc

he is going to be so fucking annoying about it

and dramatic

you hand him the koi plushie and his entire face lights up like a little kid

he’s so happy and excited about this damn plushie and it’s so adorable

breaking news grown ass man in the mafia cries over stuffed animal

obv tells kiryu all about it

kiryu tries (keyword) to be a supportive kyodai but in all honesty he doesn’t really care and and if nishiki brings up the mention of that fucking plushie one more time he’s gonna

kiryu

you hand him the dragon plush and he just kinda

stares at it

he looks very confused

??

i mean tbh idk what reaction you’d expect but it’s kinda embarrassing none the less

“um., thank you.”

but do not mistake his eccentricity for dislike

he’s a little confused but the spirit is there

he enjoys it very much actually! like way more than you’d think

while communication may not be his strong suit, you can tell his fondness of the stuffed animal by its prominent spot in his apartment/room (depending on when you’re imaging this taking place)

he regularly cleans the shelf the plushie is on making it a dust free display (i don’t think he’d sleep with it sorry </3)

if you tease him about it you might be able to get him to actually admit how much he likes the plushie

“i like it. it’s nice. i like to look at it.”

listen okay it may not be a lot, but it’s better than the initial reaction

ichiban

he’s literally a child

🤩 emoji irl is the best way to describe his reaction

asks you everything about it like how you got it, where you found it, how much was it, how did you get it customized, etc.

he feels so special it’s actually precious

okay now HE would sleep with it

he’d get shit for it from the others too but he got no shame

if anything ever happened to that plush he would be absolutely DEVESTATED

like the entire party would have to be on board to take care of his depressed, soulless body

please buy him another one

[sweetheart-sunghoon]

𝗲𝗻𝗵𝘆𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲

wc : : idk not that much tho

contains : : just floof

summary : : terms of endearment enhypen would use

## 𝗹𝗲𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴

not a heavy user of nicknames

his favourite is probably jagiya tho

plays around with darling in english sometimes

possibly angel too cause he likes the sound of it

maybe a bit of sweetheart (aein) every now and then

calls you princess/prince (gongjunim/wangjanim) when he gets into his dramatic aegyo moods

also kinda gives off "my wife" vibes

would simply pass away if you called him some sort of cute nickname like seungie or something

might have something similar for you as well

likes being called babe by you

## 𝗷𝗮𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸

definitely a babe kinda guy

also baby/babygirl/babyboy

dear lord, what i would do for him to call me babygirl

OH MY GOD SCREW THAT ACTUALLY WHAT IF HE SAID "THATS MY GIRL" DEAR GOD

sorry for the outburst, head full one thought kinda moment

but if you're like me and lose your mind at the prospect of "that's my girl/that's my boy" then jay will no doubt abuse his new found power of you

only in a teasing way tho don't worry 😌

he just loves seeing his baby get all flustered because of something he did or said

on the other hand...

will get hella flustered if you call him babyboy just fyi

not really a nickname but definitely tells you you're the love/light of his life

## 𝗷𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗺

as an aussie, the act of giving someone a nickname runs deeply through his veins

definitely calls you by a shortened version of your name if it's possible

uses clingy nicknames to annoy you

"y/n-poo" "bubba-wubba"

probably uses baby and babe when he's feeling extra suave

ooh ooh !

definitely the type to be like "hey pretty girl" (with your preferred pronouns of course)

now personally 😌 not saying i would sell a kidney 😌 to hear him say "love" 😌 but that's exactly 😌 what im saying 😌 i suspect many of you would agree 😌

not opposed to being called baby boy

has a love-hate relationship with jakey

## 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗻

gets too embarrassed to use nicknames at the beginning of your relationship

but might start to use them as it progresses

nothing too crazy tho

mostly just jagi or a shortened version of your name

pls call him prince

any language will do, he'll blush regardless

same with my love (though it's more effective in korean)

his heart will melt every single time

## 𝗸𝗶𝗺 𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗼𝗼

not super into it 🤔

he only uses like every singke nickname ever in the world in the universe 🤔

nan fr sunoo uses terms of endearment all the time for you

jagiya (babe), nae sarang (my love), aein (sweetheart), aegiya (baby), in english sweetheart, cutie pie, sunshine, baby

would definitely assign you an animal he can call you as

"my cute little hippo 😍" "there's my precious pray mantis 😍"

bad examples but you get the point

you MUST match his energy with nicknames

he WILL cry if you don't

very much the type to get upset or be shocked when you use his name rather than a nickname

anything will do

a simple sunnie or babe will do but the more dramatic the better

would really really love it if you called him "mine" or "my boy" or "my sunoo"

## 𝘆𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝗷𝘂𝗻𝗴𝘄𝗼𝗻

100% a jagi/jagiya man

that's it

simple as that

would happily and consistently use noona if you're older than him

likes any nickname or term of endearment you want to use for him as long as it's not too weird

likes to hear you call him sweetheart in both korean and english (and any other language you speak)

also darling

## 𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗮 𝗿𝗶𝗸𝗶

japan doesn't really have terms of endearment between lovers

so riki just prefers to just call you by your name (no matter the language the two of you communicate in)

the occasional y/n-chan

gave jagi a go but gets way too embarrassed of himself and never said it again and will scream if you ever bring the moment up

under the poor guidance of jay, jake and sunoo, he might experiment with babe/baby

it's a hit or miss tho tbh

LOVES it when you use nicknames on him tho

babe, baby, baby boy, my love

he likes it all

huge fan

won't admit that tho

[elysianslove]

what would the jjk characters’ reactions be if their girlfriend walked in on them jerking off 👀 or other way around, they walked in on their gf masturbating to them JSHSJSHSH

DJHSDJS THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS. it’s whore knee hours 😼 

nsfw under the cut, my loves! it’s really filthy. also, all characters are aged up if they aren’t already 18+. if there are mistakes in this im sorry vdhsdjs

ITADORI YUUJI 

walking in on him; probably screams or something tbh. he’s not used to doing it ever since you two got into a relationship and have been sexually active, but the past few weeks and you’ve just been so busy, and yuuji’s so needy 🥺 but he doesn’t wanna bother you 🥺 so he takes matters into his own hands literally and just settles back in bed, sweatpants down his hips, shirt lifted up to reveal his entire chest, and hard cock in his hand. he’s actually rushing through it because it somehow feels wrong and he just wants to rid himself of all this sexual frustration. he’s diligently and roughly stroking himself, and it’s really obscene: the noises his hand is making, the way his hips can’t seem to stop thrusting up, the loud grunts and gasps and whines that can’t stop leaving his lips. and just before he tips over the edge, as he feels his stomach tighten, he hears the door open and your cheerful voice greet him. he screams. like yells out, but he’s also? cumming? weirdly enough? he’s too dazed as he comes down from his high to mind your teasing smile, with his heart beating to loud in his chest, and he welcomes your pretty mouth kissing up the trail of cum he’d left on his chest.

walking in on you; gets really flustered but really cocky at the same time? when he came home tired and walked into the bathroom to wash up he hadn’t been expecting your body in the bathtub, touching yourself, moaning out his name. you’ve clearly been doing this for a couple of minutes because of the speed of your fingers and oh my god are you fingering yourself? he’d been quiet when coming into the bathroom, only announcing his arrival at the front door, and it doesn’t seem like you notice his presence. he watches as your back arches, hips pushing leniently into the curve of your fingers, and you let out a frustrated whine. no, sob. you cry out his name against desperately and yuuji doesn’t think he’s ever been this horny. the initial shyness and shock has long since worn off and all he wants to do is bury his fingers in your soaking cunt instead. when you cry out again, in frustration, and pull your fingers out, he immediately kneels by the bathtub, meeting your eyes with his as he feigns a pout at you and says, “aw, can my poor baby only cum on my fingers?” he’s pleased to see you’re not even a little shy about it when you frown deeply and nod desperately. 

GOJŌ SATORU

walking in on him; is not in the least bit shameful, just spreads his legs wider, throws his head back to let out another moan and says as he smirks up at you, “you’re more than welcome to join.” he’s not shy about masturbation, and he’ll even talk to you about it. this mf probably loves mutual masturbation as is. but anyway. you’d probably just left for the store, for ten minutes, and you come back and his head’s thrown back on the couch, cock in his hands as the sweatpants he wears have been pushed down to just beneath his balls. he’s being loud, like he’s giving you a show, and as soon as you enter the living room, he lets out a particularly loud grunt, thrusting his hips up. you’re not even sure if he’s dramatizing it or if it really feels that good. he’s doing it slow too, taking his time, thumbing the slit of his pretty cock and smearing the precum all over the pink head. he really is giving you a show, and god are you eating that shit up. he stares you down as he squeezes and strokes, and then, he says, “if your mouth’s gonna hang open like that, might as well put it to use and stuff it.” vdhjsdsjds gojo brainrot. 

walking in on you; is so, so, so teasing about it. if you’re doing it to give him a taste of his own medicine, expect to regret it when your ass is tainted with his handprint and you’re full of his cum. but if you really are innocent about it, he’ll tease you endlessly, saying things like, “pretty baby couldn’t wait for me?” and “so eager,” and “so needy,” with a grin and a tut. he lowkey highkey loves it when he comes home and walks in on your bedroom to see your legs spread out for him so nicely, your fingers stuffing your messy cunt, your nipples all perked up and your body covered in a sheen layer of sweat from the exertion. he watches for minutes on end, and when you finally notice him, and you squeak in surprise and attempt to cover yourself, he grins and shakes his head, grabbing a chair and placing it right across from you so he has a perfect view of your spread legs and says, “i wanna watch you cum.” he’s so. shameless about it omg. if you take too long though he’ll just swat your hand away and eat you out till you can’t feel your legs <3

RYOMEN SUKUNA

walking in on him; i don’t think he masturbates, like, ever. if he’s ever horny he will just grab you, pull you aside, and fuck you. like he’s not ashamed about it. even if it’s in public, he will find some way to put his dick inside you. but! let’s say you introduce the concept to him and it’s a day where you’d just left him alone for a few hours, so he decides there’s no harm in trying. he hadn’t expected it to feel this good. granted, it’s not your mouth or cunt, but he’s still fully in control of his pleasure. he kinda gets lost in the feel of it all that he doesn’t notice you coming back home. you stay so silent, and watch the whole thing as he throws his head back and cums all over his hand and stomach, and he does it all while saying your name and if that isn’t an ego boost idk what is. he gets so embarrassed, but displays it in a different way. he just gets angry at you basically, for catching him, and when you laugh at his reaction. last 😃 straw 😃 good luck walking tmrw <3

walking in on you; oh shit okay. listen. he will absolutely get mad. like wtf only i am supposed to give you pleasure??? if he walks in on you, like yuuji, desperately trying to fuck yourself with your fingers and finding no way to reach your orgasm, he won’t do shit. he’ll just stand there with his arms crossed as you fail to reach your orgasm for the nth time and it’s literally just humiliating at this point. you’re sobbing and your cunt’s a mess, your entire tight and trembling with the build up of arousal. you can tell he’s aroused too. you can see it actually, but he makes no move to satisfy himself, and you honestly think that seeing you like this is doing it for him. the breaking point for him would probably be hearing your broken voice just sob out a mixture of a chant of his name and please, just desperate and wanting. and then, oh boy does he give it to you. makes you orgasm so many times, makes you see stars all night, just as a reminder of who you really belong to. what a sadist i love him lol

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

walking in on him; he probably does it every once in a while because he’s a teenage boy?? (still aged up here). but he only does it to relieve himself, not for anything other than that, no ulterior motive. just to rid himself of, well, his horniness. probably the type to do it in the shower because he does not like any evidence that he ever did it. he’s hunched up underneath the water, the steady flow of it hitting his back, while he has one hand steady on the wall before him, and another wrapped tightly around his cock. he’s panting and gasping, and oh, megumi would make the prettiest sounds when he cums i just know it. probably looks gorgeous too. he doesn’t hear you come into the shower because he’s so close, shit, this feels so good — and then he feels your hands come around his waist, spinning him around and his hand’s still moving but his body’s gone into absolute shock. he hears you whisper, “let me see you, baby” and he just absolutely loses it. his face scrunches up, heat blossomed on his chest and cheeks as his hand moves rapidly on his cock, milking himself and spilling all over your stomach. when he’s well spent his head falls into the crook of your neck, and he’s just letting out tiny little gasps when you say, “you’re so pretty when you cum,” and god, is he in love with you. 

walking in on you; so. shy!!!!! omg!!!! you’re probably on your bed, on your stomach, ass in the air as you rub your clit. your thighs are smeared with your arousal and your hand and palm are outright drenched and megumi feels his mouth dry, his pants suddenly way too tight. you don’t notice him for a while, and he’s just too in shock to move, until you tilt your head and catch him staring. you lock eyes with him, then sink a finger into your pussy, your eyes rolling back and your mouth falling open into a silent gasp at the intrusion. megumi’s gone crazy like his brain’s malfunctioned. but that wasn’t even the worst of it. when you start to fuck yourself with your fingers, and then bring a second one inside, you moan out his name and he just succumbs to all his desires, walking slowly over to you and lightly massaging and caressing your thighs and ass, watching up close as you continue to fuck yourself. then, gently, he takes your wrist in his grasp and pulls your fingers out, lightly brushing against your soaked folds as he hums, then says, “let me.”

INUMAKI TOGE

walking in on him; he’s actually really open about it? like he just doesn’t care. he will get a little flustered if you catch him in the moment, but that’s only for a few seconds. like he’s just doing his thing, stroking his dick and reveling in the flood of dopamine that’s overwhelming his brain, squeezing the base, tightening his fingers around the tip, urging more precum out. when you walk in, he freezes momentarily, his hand flying to the base of his cock and just shuddering lightly as he holds back his orgasm. and then he just sighs, leaning back again and stroking rougher, encouraging you to come closer with a simple look in his eyes. your mouth is almost immediately around the tip of his dick, and he just holds you there as he strokes himself, watching as you suck on just the tip. you’re a sight for sore eyes like this, and when you meet his eyes, his eyes fly up, accidentally shoving his dick further in your tight, warm mouth and cumming down your throat. he doesn’t even give himself another second to catch his breath before he’s pushing you down onto the bed, kissing you so deeply, his cock already hardening again.

walking in on you; the same way he’s so nonchalant about himself masturbating, he doesn’t mind if you do it too. it’s understandable how sometimes you just want me time, and he tells himself if he were to ever catch you he wouldn’t really react in any way. he is wrong 😃👍🏼. just like he’d pushed your mouth around his dick when you’d once caught him, he immediately rushes to you, one hand wrapped around your thigh, the other guiding your fingers deeper inside of you as his mouth latches onto your clit. his mouth??? his mouth!!! sinful!!! he eats you out like a starved man. the idea is so filthy though, like you’re fingering yourself and he’s fondling your breasts and teasing your nipples, his mouth and lips sucking so harshly on your clit and you’re so fucking wet you’re soaking the bed beneath you. the orgasm that hits you is mind blowing, and imagine your surprise when you pull your fingers out, expecting him to pull his mouth away as well, but he just replaces your fingers with his own, pushing you down harsher on the bed and continuing to pleasure your oversensitive body oof.

end note; um n e ways 😏 if you guys want other characters with this lemme know bc brain: fried :D

[wri0thesley]

omg wait no hold on I just requested overhaul but then I remembered your overhaul thirst post about him pulling a "curing hysteria~" as an excuse and thought I'd request something along that vibe (no oun intended). I think that'd fall under orgasm control, overstim? (hope this is okay!)

hysteria antidote - overhaul x fem!reader (4k)

seeing nothing but the same four walls every day of your life is playing havoc with your brain. overhaul thinks perhaps you're suffering from hysteria. he has the perfect cure for that.

cw: not sfw/minors dni. dark content!!! dubious/non-consent. captive reader. talk of death, blood, etc. medical kink, gloves, fingering, overstimulation, orgasm control. misogyny. mentions of pregnancy/breeding. afab reader, fem pronouns.

[a/n: idk the internet said the 28th of may was his birthday so consider this both a birthday fic and a fic to celebrate 6k followers, sorry that i am gross and horrible but tbh im having a great time <3]

You really don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to be going out of your mind.

Since the Boss was taken ill, and Kai – Overhaul, you remind yourself, though he’s always just a little less sharp with you when you trip over the new name than he is with anyone else – took over leadership of the Shie Hassaikai, you’ve been pretty much stuck indoors.

Considering that you’re pretty sure he only has fond feelings towards maybe three people in the entire world, including you, you guess you ought to feel special about it – but all it actually does is make you feel like a trapped bird, caged and restless. It doesn’t help that all of the other members of the organisation have started being weird around you; people who you’ve known most of your adult life, people who you’ve worked beside and killed beside and done other horrible things beside (for the good of the organisation, of course)--

But now, they look at you like you might break at any moment. They treat you like an invalid. Their brows crease when they see you out and about, quietly murmuring; “Shouldn’t you still be in your room?”, avoiding touching you at all costs. There’s a kind of fear in their eyes, that they’re going to be told off for even speaking to you, that they’re afraid of being caught close to you.

And you know exactly who’s to blame for that.

You’d tried to speak to him about it, once; you’d thought that perhaps he might be amenable to your desire to do something to help the Shie Hassaikai. He’s always wanted to restore them to their former glory, after all! But after you’d let out your little impassioned tirade, his eyebrows had creased over the bird-mask.

“You don’t sound well,” he’d said to you. “Go back to your room. I’ll talk to you about it later.”

You had missed, at the time, that he hadn’t said ‘we’ll talk about it later’. He’d just said ‘I’ll’. When he had come, that is how it had been; the reassurance that he was keeping you safe. That he didn’t want you to be tainted. That he was keeping you well.

Your quirklessness has never been an issue before, but it certainly hasn’t been a boon. Still, for Kai--

“It’s disgusting,” he’d said, agitated by the discussion. You’d stared at his hands, thinking about the destructive power he himself wielded. “Quirks are a curse, and you not having one is just proof you’re not infected.” He’d looked up, golden eyes piercing directly into yours. “I’m going to keep you perfect.”

Overhaul is not a doctor, for all of his talk about illness and disease and plague. You think he could have used his quirk for something meaningful, once; but you also know that his burning curiousity, his disgust of anyone who deems tainted, his utter lack of morality . . . those are all things that would not have been welcomed in the medical profession. So instead, he deals in needles and pills and altering drugs in the underground labyrinth of the compound.

Sterile rooms, with examination tables and scalpels and impersonal, silver-grey equipment. Pill boxes that rattle when he passes them to you and tells you to take three of those a day, one of those, that one has to be taken to with food--

The idea that you won’t take them doesn’t enter his head, and though he has never . . . overhauled someone in front of you, you have walked past other members of the organisation mopping and disinfecting blood and gristle from sterile flooring.

It is better to go along with him, so you take the supplements and the pills and submit to the way he grabs your chin in gloved hands on the doctor’s chair, tipping your face up to shine a light into your eyes and watch your pupils dilate. But inside, you are screaming.

You’re not made to be locked in one room, occasionally allowed out to pace the hallways of the upstairs – never the underground ones, not any more – with restless footsteps and your muscles fizzing with desire to taste fresh air. You’re not made to stare at the same walls and breathe the purified air and think about how empty the compound is, now that Overhaul is in charge of everything--

(Too many knick-knacks attract dust. Pollen allergies act up, if there are too many plants, and he hates hearing people sneeze. Furniture should be easily movable and barren, to assist in the twice-daily cleanings of every room that people walk through.)

But it’s getting too much for you. Suffocating. You feel like you’re choking on air all of the time; you take the pills, because the thought of what he could do to you is terrifying, but sometimes you wonder if perhaps it would be better if you didn’t.

You’d woken up that morning to the sound of rain hitting the high windows in your bedroom, and you had longed to go outside in your thin nightwear and spread your arms and taste the air, smell the rain, feel it hit your body in fat droplets. Your entire being had ached. You’d tried to distract yourself, with what little there was in the barren prison cell that you called a bedroom – but when the door opened at four thirty exactly, and Kai had stood there with his face as impassive as ever, you had not been able to stop yourself.

Hand fastening around his upper arm (you shouldn’t touch him, you know you shouldn’t, but the same four walls are getting to you), you’d begged him;

“I want to go outside.”

If anyone else had touched him like that, they would already be splattered against the walls and floor. But all you get is a furrow of his eyebrows, careful fingers (gloved, of course; the latex against your skin always makes you shudder) pinching at your hand to get you to let go of him.

“No,” he says. “You’ll catch a cold.”

“I don’t care,” you’re petulant, you know, frustration bubbling up in every cell of your body. “If I stay in here for one more day, I will tear myself into pieces.”

“You’re being over-dramatic.”

“Kai—”

“Don’t call me that.” His rebuttal is sharp. “You know I’m doing this for your own good.”

Your face twists into something ugly. Overhaul hates it when you do that; hates the way your brow wrinkles, your mouth moves, your normally lovely face (one of very few he can bear to look at unmasked and not feel as though he is going to get sick from merely breathing the same air of you) marred.

“You’re not,” you hiss at him. “You’re doing this because you’re fucked up! Because you’ve got some weird fucking ideas about what’s clean and what’s unclean, because you’re on a power trip, because you don’t care about other people--” Your voice is pitching and modulating, all of the things that you usually try and keep balled up inside of you spilling out that the floodgates of how unhappy you are is open.

You’re breathing heavy as Overhaul, clearly irked by what you’re saying, tugs at the wrist of one of his surgical gloves. If he’s going to kill you, good – at least it will be better than this, you think, your breath coming in short sharp pants after the outburst.

He lets go. His hands fall to his sides. His golden gaze on you is very level.

“You’re hysterical,” he tells you. An exasperated laugh falls from your mouth.

“Yeah?” You ask him. “Of course I am. Do you know the last time I breathed fresh air?”

“Seven months, two weeks, three days.” He says it without blinking. Your shoulders tense. Has it really been that long? “You haven’t been ill once in that time. The world out there is filthy.”

“It’s normal to get sick,” you try and tell him, but Overhaul is moving forward; past the doorway, and into your room. The door clicks shut behind him, the sound of a lock ominous. You don’t think you’ve ever been alone with Kai in your bedroom.

In the medical examination rooms, sure. In his office. In common areas, back when he was just the boss’ troubled protege and not the boss himself--

His eyebrows twitch in disgust as he notices the dust on your bookshelves. You’d stopped letting any of the cleaners in here a month ago; you’d refused to clean in the mean time, taking whatever small victory against your captor that you could.

“You’ll give yourself respiratory issues,” he says.

“Good,” your voice is cold, but you realise you’ve backed away from him. For all of your attempts to stand up to him, you’re terrified. Everyone knows what he can do. “Better dead than here--”

Gloved fingers around your wrist, so tight you can practically feel them bruising.

“You don’t mean that,” he says. His voice has gotten softer, cajoling. You’re trembling in his grip. “I told you. You’re hysterical.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” you say, but your words feel like you’re spitting them out around a mouthful of gravel. “I—I’m calm--”

Your knees knock against your bed, but Overhaul is still clinging to you; still too close. Your heart is beating so fast that you can hear it pounding in your ears.

“You’re not. You’re hysterical.” He repeats it, calmly. The hand not on your wrist reaches up and cups your face, a gloved thumb stroking across your cheek as if you’re the most delicate thing he’s ever touched. The scent of the latex is overwhelming. “But that’s alright. It’s not your fault.” He clicks his tongue behind the mask. “It’s mine. All of this checking for the physical sickness, and I didn’t think about checking your head.”

You fall onto the bed as his knees knock against yours, your back hitting the wall. It’s just a plain, single bed; rumpled sheets, because you’d fought against any attempt for someone to come in and collect your laundry, too. Overhaul looks silly in your room, you think dimly; like a huge black crow in the nest of a small, frightened wren.

“If you fight,” he tells you, “I’ll disassemble you. I’d rather not. I don’t want to taint you by using my quirk. But . . .” He’s sinking to his knees in front of you, those same methodical hands pushing up the skirt of your dress. “If I did, I’d get a blank mind to work with. I won’t hesitate. But I’d still rather simply fix you without having to break you into pieces first.”

You know him too well to think that he’s bluffing.

After all of the vitriol you’ve spat at him, he’s unwilling to kill you. Would it be worse, to be mindless and brainless under Kai’s quirk? You’ve heard some of his failed experiments before; babbling, drooling, broken things. He’s killed them sometimes just to put them out of their misery.

What if he did that, and your mind remained perfectly capable – just utterly unable to communicate with your body? A prisoner in your own skin. Worse than even now. You swallow back the lump of fear.

“H-how are you going to do that?” You ask him.

You start at how cold the gloved fingers are on your bare thighs, as Overhaul pushes them apart. Cold fear prickles down your spine. You’re too scared to fight back, but everything he’s doing is making you want to run.

“Did you know,” Overhaul says, those same hands sliding higher, to tug at the waistband of your underwear. “In the past, there were rumours that doctors would cure hysteria by genital massage and stimulation?”

His words are very clinical, but there’s a thickness to his voice behind the mask that fills you with revulsion.

“It might be nonsense, of course,” he says. Your underwear is being tugged down, pulled around your thighs, your knees, your ankle. “They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth--”

“Kai—” Your voice is a soft whine, fear-filled. This time, he doesn’t snap at you for calling him by the name he’s left behind. He simply says;

“Spread your legs.”

You don’t want to. But you want to risk what he’s threatening you with even less, so you tearfully open them as wide as you can go. He shifts forward, and the tip of the beaked mask digs into your inner thigh as he studies you like you’re nothing more than a diagram, not a living, breathing person--

“Next time I’ll have lubricant ready,” he says, under his breath, and your heart seizes up at the implication that whatever he’s going to do to you, there’ll be a next time.

You start at the sensation of gloved fingers gently parting the lips of your sex, Overhaul’s golden eyes drinking in the sight of you spread open and bare. You’re shaking, but for some reason the way he’s looking at you – the utter concentration in his eyes – makes a curl of heat flare deep inside of you.

“Don’t,” you breathe, trying not to squirm. “Please--”

“I don’t want to have to,” he says. His tone remains calm, unbothered. “I’m doing it for your own good, you know that. Just helping you along.” One finger slides through the slit; the sensation of the gloves against your most intimate, heated parts makes the muscles in your thighs clench. It’s . . . not exactly unpleasant, but neither it is pleasant. “Do you think I’m getting any pleasure out of this?”

He doesn’t like getting his hands dirty. You know this; everyone knows this. If this particular thought was so unpleasant to him, you don’t doubt he’d have found somebody else to do it (the thought of one of the other members of the Shie Hassaikai doing this to you fills you with even more revulsion than the idea of Overhaul himself). But you can’t say that out loud. Not after what he’s threatened. So you press your lips together and shake your head, gasp dying in your throat as one of Overhaul’s latex-covered fingers prods gently around your opening.

“You’re getting wet,” he tells you, as if you can’t feel the shameful slick beginning to leak from you. “That will make this easier. Good.”

You hate that the praise makes another jolt of arousal go through you. You don’t want to like the feeling of his gloves, rubbing at your heated cunt; the sensation of a fingertip circling around your entrance, brushing the bud of your clit and making you want to clamp your thighs around his hand.

He sinks the tip of one finger inside of you and you jerk, your hips out of your control as you try and sink away from the intrusion. Overhaul clicks his tongue again in annoyance at you. The hand holding the lips of your cunt open moves, to land on your hip and pin you between the bed and the wall so you can’t squirm again.

“I’ll sedate you next time, if I have to,” he says. “I’m not getting anything out of this. I’d prefer not to have to do it at all--”

He’s lying. You know he is. But you can’t call him out for it, so you press your trembling lips together and try to stop tears spilling out from your lash line as the finger inside of you sinks further and further inside, past his first knuckle, right down to the base.

He crooks it inside of you and your hands curl into the bedsheets, nails digging into your palms through cotton. His touch is curious, exploratory; has he ever actually done this to anybody before? He slides over a rough patch inside of you with the latex-tipped finger and a moan escapes your mouth against your will, your head falling back against the wall. Narrowed golden eyes look up at you as he repeats the motion; taking in the gloss of your lips, the widening of your eyes, the way your shoulders are shaking up and down.

You can feel yourself pumping more slick out; helping the glide of his finger inside of you, as he begins to carefully thrust it in and out of you. His touch is made all the more impersonal by the mask obscuring everything but his eyes and eyebrows; you can’t even hear him breathing.

Your cunt is fluttering around him, pleasure swarming you in breathless waves as he withdraws his finger entirely. He lifts the glove to his eyeline, looking only vaguely interested in how the white latex glimmers with your arousal.

“I’m going to use two now,” he tells you – and that is all the warning you get before two fingers beside one another are opening you up, scissoring your tight channel apart with an ache that you feel up to your hips. You bite back the whimper, but you’re unable to stop the choked breaths that are falling from you as he fucks you with them in steady, constant thrusts.

A covered thumb brushes your clit; swollen, now. Sensitive. Standing to attention. Your hips attempt to jerk in his hold once more, a strangled noise that’s neither pleasured nor pain falling from your throat. You’ve touched yourself, of course you have – even recently, just to try and assuage some of the boredom that fills your exactly-the-same days – but Overhaul’s fingers and thumbs and touch on you are so entirely different from that.

He continues his assault over your clit, those same eyes watching you with that same detached, clinical disposition that he’s had most of the time. There’s a cast to them that suggests there’s something more, but whatever emotion – if, indeed, he’s still capable of that – he’s feeling about having you at his mercy in this way has been pushed to the back of his mind as his thumb rolls and pinches at the bud.

Your body goes all-over heat, Overhaul’s fingers still pumping in and out of you, the slick noises of your shaming wetness echoing around the prison of the four walls you’ve spent seven months in. You’re teetering on the edge of something, hot and needy and wanting – and as Overhaul’s thumb sweeps over your poor aching clit again, you tilt your hips forward for as much stimulation as you can--

And he pulls his fingers out of you.

The heat fades into nothingness as you let out a noise of disappointment. Overhaul’s head tilts to one side, considering.

“What do you want?” He asks you. “Say it.”

No. You don’t ‘want’. He’s wrong. You keep your mouth pressed tight now that the damning noise has fallen out of it; you have managed to not let the tears trembling in your eyes spill forth. Your gaze meets his, defiant and tired and afraid all at once.

“Alright,” he sighs. “If you’re going to carry on being difficult.”

He does it again; his fingers plunging into you, scissoring you apart, rubbing against your folds with a practised agility now that he’s done it for the first time. He has always been a fast learner; always been observant. His thumb is back on your clit with ceaseless assault, and all over again you feel heat begin to build up; tension that crawls into every crevice of your being and worms its way deep inside you despite how badly you don’t want this.

The hand holding your hip loosens somewhat, allowing you to messily thrust your hips into Overhaul’s stimulation. You’re torn; you shouldn’t want to hump against the gloved fingers stimulating you, you should be wriggling and squirming away. But it feels so good; even with the skin-tight covering of rubbery latex, Overhaul’s fingers seem to find every one of your weak points and exploit them.

There it is again, building up on you; a ball of tension in your stomach being gradually wound tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any moment. Your hips flex against his hand, your fingers clenching and unclenching on the bedsheet--

He denies you the peak of your orgasm for the second time.

And a third.

And a fourth.

“Kai--!” You’re too far gone to even think, after the pleasure has been pulled from you so cruelly, over and over again. The tears spill over your cheeks., rolling down in fat, shaming droplets. Overhaul’s eyes narrow.

“No,” he says, vehement – more emotion in his voice than you’ve heard all day. “You know what to call me.”

You know what he wants you to call him. You know that he wants to leave his old name behind, start again, be someone who can drag the Shie Hassaikai out of the shadows and into light and power once again – and he thinks that the name will help. You gurgle out a sobbing, strangled noise;

“O-Overhaul, please--”

Three fingers are plunged as deep inside of you as they can go, crooked to rub against your sweet spot; as Overhaul murmurs, detached but soft;

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

They thrust into you, his thumb rubbing your clit with firm, certain strokes – and this time, as the orgasm rushes up on you all at once, he doesn’t stop. He fucks you with his fingers through it, his thumb not ceasing the circling. Pleasure washes over you, finally, in great waves and crests. You feel yourself gush on his fingers, soaking him in your wetness (his eyebrows furrow again, at how close your fluid comes to spilling over his bared wrist; but you are too relieved to think about anything other than finally getting what you need).

Your hips flex, gasps falling from your mouth with every thrust of them – and you expect Overhaul to pull his fingers out of you. To stop touching you. Perhaps to strip off his gloves and put on a new pair – you know he always carries spares – and sneer at you as he walks out of the room.

But Overhaul’s fingers do not move from inside of you. The fierce rhythm of his fucking and petting and rubbing does not stop, even as the final aftershocks of your orgasm clench loosely about him and his constant stimulation becomes more of an annoyance than anything else on heated, sensitive skin.

You squirm, trying to push your thighs together to get him to stop touching you – but the hand not fucking you forces your thighs to stay parted with the curl of fingers into supple flesh, leaving you helpless to do anything but let him carry on touching you. Carry on fucking you.

A short, sharp shock of an orgasm rips through you as he swirls his thumb over your clit just so, and you realise that you’re drooling down yourself as well as panting; helpless and sloppy, utterly unable to do anything except lie there and take it until Overhaul decides he’s had enough of touching you.

You come, what? Twice more? Thrice? Until the pulsing of your channel is painful, your skin feeling red raw, your whimpers into the ceiling dry and broken. Only then does he pull his fingers out of you with a lewd pop.

A gush of your fluid that his fingers were stoppering soaks your bedsheets, and you watch, dazed, as Overhaul stands up. He looks down at you for just one moment, that stretches unbearably long in the heat-and-sex soaked atmosphere of the room.

He strips his gloves off of his hands, eyebrows twitching in disgust as he leaves the crumpled latex on your bedside table. He’s sliding on another pair as he speaks;

“Feel better?”

No. No, you don’t. You feel worse. You feel disgusted and violated and aching, your body over-stimulated and exhausted, sweat and drool and bodily fluids clinging to your skin. But if you tell Overhaul that--

“Yes,” you say, voice very soft and small and weak. You cannot see his mouth, but you see the way his eyes flash happily, the overall sensation of him smiling.

Why does Overhaul’s smile make you so scared, when Kai’s smile used to just make you feel warm?

“We’ll need to do it a few more times,” he tells you, as your blood runs to ice in your veins. “Such maladies aren’t cured in a day, after all. But . . .” He turns, rearranging himself carefully, his mask readjusted. You can’t see him as he speaks the next words. “I’d like to try some of the other suggested remedies, too.”

You think of his earlier words.

‘They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth.’

You’re never going to escape, are you? You’re going to be trapped in this compound until the day you die, and Overhaul is going to think that he’s keeping you safe--

“Take a shower,” he says to you, as he opens the door. It is not a suggestion. “And stop not letting the maids come in here to clean. I’m not having you get sick.”

You think he might be the sick one.

[actualbird]

Hi Zak! I really love your writing style and interpretation of the ToT characters. You show so much depth and understanding and reading your work is always a treat. My question is, how do you find the motivation to write so often and develop all your ideas? All I have is a backlog of Dramatic scenes in my ideas doc and I can't figure out how to add enough plot to even make them into oneshots.

hello, anon ヾ(＾∇＾)

thank you so much for your kind words!!! im glad my fics are enjoyable :D

as for your question......hm, i think i have a lot of things that motivate me to write a bunch at the speed i do, so heres all of the motivators i can think of

a big emotional one is that....i feel palpable physical anxiety when i havent Created A Thing in a While, HAHA. and my brain's definition of "a while" is anywhere from a week to one day KJBKJS. i feel happiest and most like myself when creating and having created. this emotional motivator is v important to me bc it helps me relieve negative emotions and experience positive ones.

my brain never shuts off!! ever!!! it's throwing new ideas at me 24/7 and leaving the ideas in my brain where nobody will ever get to see it......thats Agony For Me. i write so much because i wanna be like EVERYBODY, LOOK, LOOK AT THIS CONCEPT!! DONT LEAVE ME ALONE TO THINK ABOUT THIS, THINK ABOUT IT WITH ME!!!

people tell me that my writing makes them happy or makes them laugh or gives them some kind of benefit. this is hugely rewarding for me and pushes me to make more because i want to continue to make things that people can benefit from

i write my stuff because......nobody else will. like, the stuff i enjoy is somewhat niche. i wanna see smut but it's a comedy at the same time. or i wanna see the nxx team being stupid but also being a loving found family. i wanna see nxx polycule dealing with a voyeuristic pet bird. the stuff i want....NOBODY ELSE IS GONNA WRITE IT, theyre all way too specific, so i have to be the one to write it!!!

I Just Love Writing. ive been writing fiction for more than a decade now (exactly a decade, if ur going by my ao3 fics) and it's something i'll continue doing for the rest of my life. sorry to sound cheesy, but it's deadass my passion. it's what i chose to study and major in college, it's what i do at my current job, and it's what i do in my free time. i love writing, so i do as much of it as i can.

so theres a bunch of motivators that keep me trucking on like crazy!!!!

but theres a second question here, right? i think? or am i misreading? you also ask kinda how to develop ideas/plot, yeah? because huge mood at "backlog of Dramatic scenes" tbh thats how most of my fics start in my brain HAHA.

so heres how i personally develop ideas

the dramatic scene/s (or just whatever "seed" of a fic, be it a badass line or a stupid joke in dialog) in the head? i write that down immediately. no matter what is going on, i grab my phone and scribble that thing down on a notepad. i have woken up at 2am just to blindly wordbarf an idea into my diary discord, lemme get u an example actually, heres the message:

and this single message resulted in the fic "The NXX Investigation Team In Their Natural Habitat, Unhinged: A Documentary by DAVIS"

so like no matter how un-fleshed out the idea is, get it down!!! make the backlog in ur head a backlog somewhere outside of ur head so that it doesnt disappear bc a lot of the time, those ideas need to like.....simmer. i often need to put an idea down and let it rest for a while for me to understand the concept more and then start building around it. case in point: that message was sent on November 16. the first chapter of nxx docu fic was posted November 19......okay that wasnt a great example, it only simmered for 3 days BUT MY POINT STANDS

onto the plot!!!

i personally add plot by going through at LEAST TWO STAGES OF OUTLININING. this is gonna make me sound insane, but bear with me.

OUTLINE ONE: WORDBARF

this is the barebones shit. like tbh, all i put in this outline is as simple as premise, conflict, resolution. THATS IT. example of outline one of "how Puppy Pierce© conquered the world":

barest bones in the world but theyre still bones aka, theyre whats needed for a story. there is a premise, conflict, and resolution. fiction comes in all kinds of forms, but these three are the easiest and most noticeable building blocks. keeping these blocks in mind always helps me get from concept to story.

i move on now to

OUTLINE TWO: embellish the wordbarf

this is where i go insane because based on outline one, i expand as much as frigging possible. the outline one for puppierce is as short as u see above and my outline two based on it is 864 words long. this is where i get detailed and lay down scenes, sometimes i lay down the exact dialog as well. heres an excerpt of outline two from the same fic above:

BONUS: a list of things to Keep In Mind.

this is something i only do with fics that delve deep into emotions and themes but it's very very helpful for me because it allows me to have like...a guide to look towards whenever i feel blocked or stumped, it realigns my trajectory to where i want it to go. i do this in the beginning before outline one and two. heres an example from the fic "it's only ever a seed planted from outside in":

and once all that is done, tadaa!! everything is built!! and then i do the Actual Writing bit JBJKFGS

i hope this is helpful somehow? a lot of my writer friends have told me that both my motivators and my writing process is fucking insane but sdjkbkgjsd insane is what works for me. i hope you find what works for you :')

again, thank you for lovely ask!! if ever u have questions on like, writing process or story development, dont hesitate to hmu!!! my degree in creative writing has to be useful for something HAHA.

hope u have a nice day!!

[teddyfmd]

hello loves !! it’s mili here with my son, haewon theodore park, stage name teddy, main vocal extraordinaire of quantum 👏👏  for anyone who’s interested you can find his profile and plots page linked and of course there’s everything you need to know about teddy under the read more. please do give this post a ♡ if you’d like to plot and i’ll slide into your ims to do just that but until then !! have an amazing day !! and stan loona obv !!

run down of his bio (don’t read his actual bio trust me):

sydney born and raised, lived there for the majority of the school year with his mother and traveled to marseille, france to spend summers and long holidays with his father

fluent in both french and english

his mother is a theater actress so he’s spent his childhood following her around and watching her perform. she’s quite a strict person, wanted to raise haewon as a high achiever so she micromanaged his schedule for years until haewon got fed up with it and moved with his grandfather back in korea

got super interested in music after hearing a classmate practicing alone in the music room, he basically fell in love at the first sound lol. after that he joined the music club and, after spending a lot of time with that classmate, subsequently fell in love for Real for real. found out soon after that she had some health problems that made any future between them impossible so he just opted to never tell her about his feelings in the end

she convinced haewon to participate in dimensions’ audition together and lo and behold they both got in, though he was the only one who became a trainee and only because she managed to convince him

hateeed being a trainee 10/10 worst experience of his life but also not really, he’s just a bit dramatic sometimes. it actually helped him hone many of the skills he’d already acquired while under his mother’s reign of terror

he was pretty quiet while quantum debuted and in that subsequent period because his korean wasn’t necessarily fluent and he didn’t want to bring too much attention to it in the first place so the public thought he was the shy type but in actuality he is very social and likes to make new friends on the regular!

some facts:

knows how to sew (say thank you mama park who more or less forced him to stitch back her dresses before she went on stage)

fully thought quantum’s first win was an april fools joke before several members and the mc told him they ACTUALLY won like fr fr won and then he started crying

has an obsession with kdramas at this point but he mainly watches the slice of life ones and he regularly gives fans recommendations

because his stage name is teddy he gets a lot of teddy bears from fans and he lowkey loves that, he keeps them all on his bed or around his apartment when he runs out of room and regularly wears keychains and whatever teddy bear memorabilia he gets

is a big girl group fan and even if his dancing is just Okay™️ he will religiously learn girl group dances as they get released, sometimes practicing them more than quantum’s own songs rip

used to write songs when he was in hs and tbh most of them were love songs but he hasn’t written/composed anything in a while because he can’t bring himself to touch any instrument to work notes out and stuff, so he just walks around with a head full of ideas that he doesn’t do anything with 

is a lightweight but he likes to drink way too much which in all honesty is a scandal waiting to happen

a voracious romance reader, has an old kindle with a bear case on it that contains at least 50 books, maybe more, that he carries around with him at every schedule

some plot ideas:

friends are always super wanted ofc but a super specific type i’d like haewon to have is a flirty kind of friendship, someone that he can’t help but flirt with whenever they have a coversation or see each other during schedules/hangouts. doesn’t have to be romantic in nature at all and all genders are super welcome! 

i would also love some kind of rivals plot but one sided? as in haewon sees this person as his rival in the vocal department and is doing his best to keep ahead of them by taking on more vocal intense projects and the other person being like “oh he’s such a hard worker! such a cool guy! keep it up!” like very clueless about haewon’s inner turmoil lol

also listen i would love a ship…tbh he’s been keeping away from love for a while now but he’s also a romantic at heart so i’d like to give him something to be happy about. we can work details and take it slow to see if they vibe but i’d just love him to be a little bit smitten with someone again 😭