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aceofbooks-creative-anthologies · 2 days

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Background: Ace was scouted to run the 10K for the Japanese Olympic team. She successfully made it through try-outs and qualifiers, officially making the team. The very next day, she fell. At the hospital, she was told that she'll never be able to compete again.

Ace is still using walking aids (crutches, canes, a wheelchair, etc. depends on what she can manage) when she arrives at Blue Lock. It takes about two months for Chigiri to gain her friendship back before she tells him what happened.

This is that conversation.

TW: vague mention of a suicide attempt & institutionalization

wc: 3900; written in Chigiri's POV

I watch quietly as Barou leaves the canteen with a tray of food for her, again. At least once a day, he's eating quickly and taking a meal to her quarters somewhere in the facility. She tries to eat with us (the old Blue Lock crew and the old U-22 team) for most meals—it usually results in some kind of lecture about the endurance training she's making us endure. But sometimes she has to take them in her room. I've noticed that it typically aligns with whenever she has to trade out her walking aids for something else. Today, she was watching the practice match from her wheelchair.

"Hey, Bachira?" I ask without taking my eyes off the door.

"Hmm?" comes his mumble from further down the table, mouth full of rice.

"You know where Bl—Coach Kyori's quarters are, right?"

"Yef," he swallows and takes a sip of water before smirking, "but I'm not telling you." His tone is teasing. I know that—it's just how Bachira is. But it doesn't make it any less irritating.

"What do you want?" It's absurd that I even have to ask him for this.

"I want Ace to be happy, of course!" I give him a glance out of the corner of my eye. His voice is cheery, but his face is serious. "And I'm not sure that you can do that for her yet." He takes another bite; everyone else at the table has gone silent. "You don't know what she's been through. Ego would probably kick you from the program if you caused a setback for her."

"What do you know?!" I slam my hands on the table as I stand up, knocking my chair over. "I was her friend for twelve years! You've known her for barely eight months! Most of which she wasn't even around for!"

"I know that you shattered her heart." He shrugs. "Repeatedly, in fact. I also know that she opened up to me, and not you, two days after she arrived. I know that—"

"She didn't even speak to me for the first week she was here! And she's only just started talking to Isagi—"

"Leave me out of this." Isagi picks up his food tray and leaves to sit somewhere else. I feel more than see a few others leave as well.

"Like I was saying," Bachira takes another bite of his rice, the picture of casual, "I know that Barou has stepped up to help her without asking a single thing. I know that Ego—"

"Chigiri!" Barou calls; he made it back to the canteen in the few seconds I had my eyes off the door. "She's asking for you." He motions with his head back towards the door, and then starts walking away without waiting for me.

"Don't hurt her." Bachira snarls as one final warning to my back as I leave.

Barou is rounding a corner as I leave the canteen. "Barou! Wait up!" I'm jogging, but he somehow stays just far enough ahead of me that I only see him turn corners as he leads me through a series of corridors. I'm pretty sure we've left the training stratums and entered some other part of the facility.

Finally, he comes to a stop in front of an unmarked door, and I'm able to catch up to him. He knocks gently (Barou can be gentle?) three times, "Hey, it's me. I brought 'im, like you asked." We can just barely hear shuffling on the other side before the door opens.

"Thanks Sho. Hi Red." She's smiling weakly, and putting most of her weight against the door frame. At some point, she changed from her blouse and jeans into the official Blue Lock sweats. Despite everything, it's comforting to see her in such a familiar sillouhette. Like the last eight months had never happened.

"I told 'ya to stay on the bed. Ego gave you those buttons for a reason." He side steps her as he walks over the threshold, and then steps behind her, putting his hands on her waist. I rub at my eye as it starts to twitch.

"I know. But you also know that I hate them, and if I can walk a few steps, then I'm going to walk those few steps." She shifts her weight from the door frame and into his hands. It takes me a second to realize that they're both looking at me expectantly.

I step over the threshold and the door slides into place behind me. Barou and Blue start to tenderly walk across the large space; I see that his hands aren't actually touching her now, just ghosting over her sides—a comforting presence of sorts, I suppose. They're whispering, but I'm distracted by the rest of the space. I've only seen bits and pieces of her room at home through photos, but this feels almost sterile in comparison.

There's half a dozen large digital screens grouped together on one wall, all displaying video and photos from various games and training sessions. They all seem to be looping through footage of Raichi at the moment.

There are elastic bands and free weights stored carefully in one corner. Along the wall opposite the door is a bed that obviously has an adjustable frame, as it's positioned at about a 110° angle. There's a kitchenette with a small table and two chairs, her uneaten dinner sitting on the counter. There's a door slightly ajar next to it that must lead to a bathroom.

Most of the decor and other furniture are in the greys and blues that are all over Blue Lock. There's a purple quilt bunched up at the bottom of the bed; and a purple beaded curtain hanging in a doorway that has a basket full of folded laundry in front of it.

There's framed photos hanging up around the bed; her medals and trophies are on display on shelves above the footage of Raichi.

There's a kotatsu positioned in front of the screens, every inch of it covered in stacks of books.

And then there's the armchair awkwardly positioned slightly off center in the room—angled so that it gives an unobstructed view of the screens, but also an unobstructed path to the bathroom. Which Barou is currently fussing over, fluffing cushions with one hand and keeping Blue balanced with the other. My hands itch as I think about taking his place; but as I open my mouth to offer help, he's guiding her to sit. Neither of us miss the way she winces.

He makes a tutting noise before busying himself with warming her dinner. He gives me and one of the kitchen chairs pointed looks when he realizes that I still haven't moved more than three steps into the room.

I move almost robotically, feeling disconnected from my limbs, but I do manage to take one of the kitchen chairs and carry it closer to the armchair. I'm still standing behind it when he brings the now hot food and a bottle of water to her and sets them on the stand next to the armchair.

"Thank you Sho." Her smile is stronger, brighter this time.

"Yeah, whatever." He ruffles her hair before leaning down and pressing a ghost of a kiss to the crown of her head. He turns to me, "Do you think you can find your way back to the English dorms on your own? Or do I need to stick around and walk you back."

"Sho, don't be rude."

Barou crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow at me expectantly. It takes me far longer than it should have to find my voice. "Yeah, I think I'll be okay on my own. Thanks though." I clear my throat as he glares at me for just a few seconds longer.

And then he makes his way to the door. "I'll pick you up for breakfast, Ace. Try not to be asleep this time," is the last thing he says before opening the door and leaving.

Blue moves the food around her plate for a few minutes, only taking half a dozen small bites. Finally, she sighs, and sets down her chopsticks. "Are you going to sit, or are you going to keep staring at me from above?" Her speaking directly to me restarts my brain.

"Sorry," I step around to the front of the chair and sit as instructed. "I just don't think I've ever seen you so...."

"Broken? Yeah, it's new for me, too." I'm looking in her face for a spark of laughter, or a flicker of irritation. But there's nothing there. She won't meet my gaze—she's watching Raichi on the screens.

"I don't know—"

"Where do you want me to start?" she interrupts like she normally does, but there's no bite to it. She shifts in her seat, wincing with each movement.

There are so many things that I want to ask. "Is this my fault? Is that why you weren't talking to me?"

She barks out a laugh. "Maybe? But I'm going to lean towards 'no'. You have no control over the weather. As for why I wasn't talking to you, we both know it has nothing to do with my current physical state."

I nod. "Then what was it?"

She sighs and reaches for her bottle of water, wincing when she settles back in. "I was recruited to join the Olympic team. I actually got the 'we're interested' email the night you told me about Blue Lock. So when you left, after everything, I poured everything I had into training and getting ready for try-outs. I wanted to tell you—both times I came to the visitor days. But I didn't know how, and you weren't exactly making it easy. And when I found out you weren't running, I was mad. I had asked you to do one thing—"

"Wait. Back up. You were recruited for the Olympics? I didn't even know you were interested. How did I miss that?"

"It's been my dream since I was six." I have a sudden flash of a memory, six-year-old Blue walking up to me at the park after I had just run my heart out.

"You seem fast. How do you feel about racing an Olympian?" Her t-shirt is the same color as her eyes, which are the same brilliant blue as the sky. "There's.... no.... way.... you're.... an.... Olympian!" I'm doubled over, and each word comes out with its own breath. "Maybe not yet! But I will be!" She stomps her foot with her declaration, and her sneakers light up the same color as her eyes. "Fine.... Blue. As long as you're okay with racing against the world's best soccer striker!" "I don't know what that is, but you're on....." She pauses for a moment, her pointer finger on her chin as she considers my appearance. "Red! Ready?" I nod. "Set? Go!" She takes off before I even realize that she's said 'Go'. The race ends in a tie, despite there being no clearly defined 'finish' line. We agree to meet up the next day to break the tie.

"I mean, I remember you saying that when we first met. But you stopped bringing it up, so I thought it was just—"

"A passing fancy? No. I stopped talking about it when you got hurt. I didn't want to rub it in your face that my trainer thought I had potential, had a real chance at my dreams, when yours had been so abruptly shattered." Her lower lip wobbles, and she uses the back of her hand to wipe away unshed tears. Great. Bachira is going to kill me.

"Blue, I'm so sorry. If I had known—"

"That was the thing, though, I didn't want you to know. I mean, I did. Of course, I did. But you were so fragile. I had to spend five minutes at the park gates every time just convincing you to walk with me. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to lose you. I mean, we had just started talking, y'know? We were just starting to become actual friends. And then the further from your accident that we got, the harder it became to admit the truth, so I just didn't. But if you knew that you were actively keeping me from my dreams, would you have stuck around?"

I can feel heat rising in my cheeks. The truth of what she is saying hits me, a little too hard. "We were fifteen....."

"Yeah, I know. And that's why I kept it a secret." She leans forward and picks up her chopsticks, and takes a few small bites of food that has to be lukewarm at best. "Anyway, I've had to process a lot of grief around all of this in a very short amount of time, which is why I'm able to separate myself from it some."

My eyes rake over her, taking in all of the changes that I've missed over the six months we were apart. She's thinner, and a lot of her muscle definition is gone. The circles under her eyes were always dark against her I-can't-be-in-the-sun-without-100 SPF pale skin, but now they look like she was punched in the face. But the biggest change, "When did you cut your hair?"

She uses her empty hand to brush it out of her face, just barely long enough to tuck it behind her ear. She bites her lip, literally chewing over her thoughts. "It was about a week after my accident. So about a month and a half after you left. I, uh...." She clears her throat and shifts her gaze from her food to Raichi on the screens. "His stride is still too long..... Where's the....? Shit." She's twisting back and forth, reaching under the cushions and pillows.

"What are you loo—"

"The remote! The fucking remote! I need to—" In a flourish, she's standing up and pushing the side tray out of the way. "I need to slow the footage down so I can figure out how much he needs to shorten his stride by, and then I need to recalculate—" She has pushed all of the books off of the closest side of the kotatsu, and is on her hands and knees reaching underneath it.

"Blue...." I've never seen this side of her. She's always so calm, collected, composed. She doesn't seem to hear me. As she's beginning to clear the further side of the kotatsu, I look around for anything that could remotely be what she's looking for. And I see it on the floor underneath my chair. "Blue. I think I found it."

"All these fucking screens. Fucking Ego can't just give me a fucking tablet or some shit? I swear to god he's just trying to make me mad." Under the kotatsu again.

"Blue," I stand up and grab the remote.

"Practically none of them know how to run in a sustainable way. I sent Ego plans for three months before I got here and there has been essentially no improvement. Was nobody doing the work? I can't believe—"

I move in front of her and get down on my knees. "Blue."

"Look, if you're not going to help, can you at least get out of my—"

"Blue!" I shout, grabbing her shoulders, forcing her to look at me. There are tears streaming down her cheeks, her mouth hangs open, stuck mid-word. I move my hands to gently cup her face. "I found the remote." Her breathing sounds erratic. "Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. I found the remote. Just take a breath. You're always so good at breathing. What—what was the technique your trainer had you using after a run?"

At the mention of her trainer, she begins to sob. "I—I—I'm—"

"Shhh.... It's okay. Just.... Just come here, okay?" I gently negotiate us so that I'm holding her, her head tucked under my chin. I use the remote to turn the screens off; it takes me far too many tries to find the right button.

We must sit there for fifteen, twenty minutes before her breathing evens out. I'm frozen in place as she starts to shift. "I'm sorry. I'll just—Fuck." She's furiously trying to dry her face with the back of her hands, and then the bottom of her sweatshirt. She stumbles to her feet. "Shit. Where did Sho put my meds?" She doubles over and uses the back of my chair to support her weight. "Shit. This stupid fucking body—" I scramble to my feet and step behind her, like I saw Barou do earlier. She flinches when my hands touch her waist.

"Sorry! I can—" I move to step back.

"No. Please. Can you—can you just help me get to the bed." I nod, not realizing that she can't see me. "I can make the actual steps, I just need you to make sure that my back stays straight, and that I don't tip over."

"Okay.... But you need to stand up for me to make sure your back stays straight."

"Right.... Okay." She takes three deep breaths and rights herself. "Fuck. Damn it. Okay, quickly and carefully, please."

It's only five strides or so to the bed. I could do it in seconds on my own. But it takes us a solid minute to shuffle across the floor. "How do we get you into the bed?"

"When it's this bad, Sho usually picks me up and—" I have an arm behind her shoulders and the other under her knees before she can finish speaking. She lets out a squeak and clasps her hands around my neck. My face heats up as I gently deposit her on the bed and adjust the pillows behind her. She lets out a sigh as she settles back into them.

"Oh hey! There they are!" She's reaching for one of several pill bottles on the shelf that runs along the wall. "Can you grab me the bottle of water from the armchair?" I nod and will myself to calm down.

"I tried to kill myself." The bottle of water slips out of my hand. "Please. Please, don't turn around. I can't have you look at me right now." I pick up the water off the floor, but I don't turn around like she asked. "I slipped and fell. It was the day after—the fucking day after—I got accepted on to the Olympic team. I had gotten the call the day before, but the formal letter was in the mailbox. I had waited all morning by the door for our mailman to come by, and as soon as he moved onto my neighbor's, I was out the door. I jumped off the porch to try and get there just that much faster. I missed the black ice on the walkway. I thought I was paralyzed, I was in so much pain. But of course, because I was in pain, I obviously wasn't paralyzed. But I did mess up my back and pelvis and hips pretty badly—nothing broke, and I'm told all the time I should be thankful for that. The minutiae of it doesn't really matter, just that I'll never be able to compete. I might be lucky if I can run again at all. I—I tried to kill myself in hospital over the news. So I was committed to the psych ward, and they decided that I was enough of a risk to myself that my ha—my hair—" I hear her sob, and it shatters my heart. But I don't turn around. She asked me not to.

"They cut off my hair, so I couldn't hurt myself with it." She lets out a shakey, watery laugh next. "And then Ego found me. And he promised to give my life purpose again. And here I am. Trapped in a state-of-the-art facility, receiving six different types of physical manipulations and therapy, some of them multiple times a day. I'm taking four different pills for the pain, three for the anxiety and depression, and I have to drink eight of those nasty electrolyte-protein-vitamin-supplement drinks you guys get after matches. Every. Day. I have video calls with a therapist twice a week, and a psychiatrist once every two weeks. I have good days when I feel like I can take over the world, but the bad days outnumber them something like three to one. And the bad days are never consistent; some are better than others, and then some make me want to die to end the pain. And I—" Another sob. I'm crushing the water bottle in my hand.

"I'm having to train a bunch of idiotic athletes the basic principles of running so that they don't run out of stamina in the middle of a fucking game. Something I never had problems with, but it doesn't fucking matter because I'll never run again. I mean, HOW stupid do they have to—"

"I ran out of stamina." I finally turn around to look at her. There's a pile of tissues on the bed, and her eyes are blood shot, nose bright red.

"What?" The look of bewilderment in her eyes is something I haven't seen in a long time. And it's beautiful. She's beautiful.

"I'm one of your idiots. I ran out of stamina during our game against the U-22 guys; I had to be subbed out. I was devastated. I—" My breath gets caught in my throat. "I'm the one that asked Ego to get us an endurance coach. But if I had known that it was you that he was going to bring on—"

"You would have told him no?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying." I set the water bottle down, and then take the five strides to her bedside, take her hand in one of mine, and use my other to cup her face again, my thumb stroking her cheek. She places her other hand over mine, and then leans into my hand, and it's nice. Really nice. "What I'm saying is, that—that if I knew that it was you that he was going to bring on, I would've asked for an endurance coach a lot sooner."

That earns me a giggle. And then a chuckle. And finally, finally, a full laugh. "If you had just been running with me all this time, you wouldn't need me as an endurance coach."

"Yeah, well," her laughter has me grinning, "it's a nice-added benefit that I get to have my best friend here. It was getting really dull without having you around."

"You missed me that much, huh?"

"If I say yes, can we drop the subject and leave my pride intact?"

"I'll think about it." She winks at me and sticks out her tongue. Something she had to have picked up from Bachira over the last two months of them hanging out.

"Yeah.... I missed you." I finally abandon the last of my pride and sit on the bed to pull her into a hug. She relaxes into me before hugging me back, and I curse myself for not trying this sooner. Twelve years of friendship. and I could've been hugging her this whole time. Maybe even kis—

"Hey Red?" Her voice is muffled against my collarbone.

"Hm?"

"Can I get that water now? I could really use one of my pain meds."

@katsulock here is the #hyoumace comfort as promised 🩶

#hyoumace #the lovers' library #divider from cafekitsune #tw: suicide mention #cw: suicide mention #let me know if you want other tags!

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anastasiaskarsgard · 3 years

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A/n;So someone asked for smut for the perfect girl that decides she’s gonna have some fun before she dies. I’m A bit rusty. TW: sex, cursing, choking, 18+ NSFW

If you wanna read the first part it’s called perfect problem and is the last thing I wrote on here and posted...

“So where are we going?” Bethany asked as they got into some ridiculously expensive sports car. Adjusting her clothing and hair, she glanced over at Roman to find him just watching her.

Smirking his signature smirk, he turned the car on and raced out of the parking lot like he has stolen the car. “It’s a surprise.” Roman said, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“Eyes on the road Speed Racer! Ok well at least tell me what we are going to go do.” She whined.

“Nope. No can do princess. You’re just going to have to have a little faith.” He grinned.

“Your reputation doesn’t exactly inspire trust. No offense.” She felt bad as soon as she looked over. He looked almost sad. “I’m just giving you a hard time. I’m not serious.” She lied.

“I thought you were supposed to be smart...”

“Oh ho ho! Someone bounces back quick.”she jibed as she turned to look out the window. She wasn’t exactly familiar with the area so she wasn’t sure what she was looking for. There was trees, and then some houses, and then businesses so there’s no way to tell if they were going somewhere Residential or commercial.

Grabbing her phone to send out some emails, she wasn’t paying attention when she noticed the car had stopped. Looking up from her phone she made an incredulous face at Roman when she noticed that they were in front of a large mansion.

“Really?” She quipped.

“Hey Before you jump to conclusions, I’m just coming here to get into some more comfortable clothes. I can’t exactly have fun in a suit, now can I?” He got out of the car and walked around it to open her door. “You can look around or grab a drink or whatever you like while I change.”

Stepping out of The car, Bethany followed roman inside his home. “ not even gonna try that old give me a tour excuse?”

Scoffing, he shook his head no, and made a crossing motion over his heart. “Scouts honor.”

“What if that’s exactly what I wanted to do?” She breathed out as she made her best attempt at sexy. Licking her lips, and winking, she nearly cried out when all of a sudden he was only inches away from her. “You’re very fast. I hope that’s not true for everything though.”

Smirking, he lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Pulling back to look at his face, she bit her bottom lip thoughtfully, as he walked them up to his room. Seeing the insecurity creeping in, He kept an eye open to watch where he was going but smashed his mouth back into hers, in a passionate, breathtaking kiss. Completely losing herself, she was startled when he dropped her on the bed and crawled over her body, pressing himself into her, making his intentions clear.

Sitting up as he straddled her waist, he ripped his shirt off, sending buttons flying, before aggressively attacking her mouth once more. Her nails dug into his bare back and he groaned into her mouth, before kissing down her neck and onto her chest.

Abruptly, he jumped off her and stood over her a moment longer than she assumed it took to take off his pants, so she lifted her head, cocking a brow at him curiously.

“Dress off.” He ordered, his smile fading.

Smiling a Cheshire grin, she shook her head no and looked up at the ceiling. Not letting curiosity get the best of her, she refused to look at him when he huffed impatiently. Even when he had stormed out of the room, and returned a few minutes later, looming over her, she refused to award his bratty behavior.

“Please take your dress off.” He finally bit out.

For a moment She pondered denying him-- and in turn denying herself. But the fact remained, she wanted him, whether contrived or genuine, She did. And She was done not doing what She wanted.

“Stand up.” His voice shocked her out of her head and She found herself standing at the side of the bed. “Good girl.” He purred, his hand brushing her back as he walked behind her and She shivered, as she turned her head to look at him. “Head forward.”

She did so, waiting for him to come back into view and see how far he’d take this little game. When she heard the bed sheets move, she fought the urge to turn around until She felt his fingers on her back, drawing letters or shapes; she wasn’t sure. Roman hummed quietly, lulling her into a peaceful calm, when suddenly he pulled her back into him. He was sitting on the bed, his long legs slightly spread and he spun her around, and placed her straddling over his one naked leg. Somewhere, somehow He’d removed his pants.

Gently he traced up her chest and wrapped one hand in her hair, pulling her forward so he could kiss her neck. Surprisingly, he bit her ... hard. Instead of pain, her senses exploded, causing her to moan wantonly, as she ground her core against his bare thigh.

When his other hand slid down her stomach, She Was almost embarrassed by how wet she had become.

“Stay still…” He said playfully in her ear as he slipped his fingers past the lace covering his goal. Plunging them within her, coating his fingers with her wetness, He gazed into her eyes lustily, as he Brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean. “So ready for me.”

She nodded dumbly, lost in the sinful way his tongue worked around his fingers. Biting her lip, she must of looked pitiful, because Roman dropped character a moment to chuckle and move a piece of hair behind her ear affectionately. Almost lovingly.

Unfortunately she was way too far gone to contemplate what these gestures might mean. She wanted to fuck and she wanted those fingers to go back down there, but this was Roman Godfrey. The man Was unpredictable at best, and uncooperative the rest of the time.

Roman was a predator, and predators like to chase. As much as she wanted to just throw herself at him and demand to fuck her into oblivion, she Still had enough pride to play the game.

“I knew I was right.” He growled, Standing, releasing her hair, so he could wrap his hand around her throat. She grinned, not really caring what he meant. “Now, Im going to fuck you. I’m not going to be gentle, but I’m going to make sure you come so hard that you forget your fucking name.” He smirked cockily, still holding her by the throat. “I can see it in your eyes, that you’re a fucking freak under all that polite perfection. You’ve never fucked up or disappointed anyone ever. You’re loved and respected. Americas sweetheart.... I wonder what they’d all say if they saw you right now, ready to be my little fuck doll, cuz that’s exactly what you are.” Two of his fingers dragged across her cheek, Forcing their way in her mouth. She could taste herself on him and it made her nearly mad with need. She’d never been this turned on in her life. “You have the most perfect lips.” He said as he examined the way they wrapped around his fingers, “I’m going to put so many things in your mouth.”

She sucked briefly, before humming around his digits, lightly biting them. Swiftly, he removed them for a moment, before getting a mischievous look on his face and shoving them in as deep as he could, choking her slightly. Slightly panicked, she reached for his hand, but he just tsked and Tightened his grip on her throat, before ripping his fingers out of her mouth and plunging his tongue in their place.

She really needed to breathe, but eventhough she could feel her limbs growing weak, She didn’t fight him. Completely surrendering to the most arousing experience in her life.

“That’s why I’m going to keep you.” Before She could comment or recover, he removed her dress and threw her down on the bed, standing over her a moment to look her over.

He yanked her underwear down and dove two fingers into her roughly, making her arch her back. His expert fingers were moving faster and faster, getting her closer and closer to the edge of orgasm. It’d been a long time since a man made her orgasm, and she was certain, she’d never come close to this intensity. He reached down and pulled her up by the back of her neck, holding her against him like a rag doll, as he brought her closer. , his thumb brushed over her clit and She opened her mouth, trying not to scream. Her limbs started to shake, as her pelvis started thrusting into his hand, flailing about as Her vision began to blur. She closed her eyes tight, ready for the climax.

“Look at me. Look at who is making you feel this way,” he said seductively.

She breathed, looking into his gorgeous green eyes, as He quickened his pace again and added a third finger, making her buck, as she grabbed his rock hard erection, causing him to hiss, and roll on top of her.

“Patience.” He teased, pushing her legs apart. She looked in between his to see his cock standing hard and long against his stomach, a new need screamed within her, demanding him inside her right fucking now.

“What do you want?” He asked innocently, three fingers diving into her again. She closed her eyes from all the sensations, trying to get control, but she was past the point of pride now.

“Please--” She gasped. “Please.”

“Please what?” He pressed down on her clit and She wanted to kill him, but first had to fuck him. His other hand came down and pinched her nipple, twisting it and making her cry out.

“Fuck!” She screamed as he did the same to the other. “Fuck! Fuck me Roman! Fucking fuck me now or I’m going to kill you!”

He didn’t need to be told twice and She felt the large head of his cock against her entrance, before he just forced it inside her with one powerful thrust.

He was big and it took her body a moment to adjust to him, the burn slowly fading as he gave her a moment to breathe and relax herself to accommodate by far the largest cock she’d ever seen, let alone was inside of her.

Somehow it felt divine when he began to move again, and she moaned loudly, his body pressing down into her as he started to move his hips back and forth. She could feel him driving into her with solid, sure strokes as She clenched around him. His lips crashed into hers again as he pushed his hand under her ass and pulled her hips up, sitting back so he could move at a quicker pace. Setting her nerves on fire. Every inch of her body sang in extreme pleasure. His thrusts massaged her inner walls, the tension roaring through her, as he bottomed out and touched a place she’d never felt before, but the intensity made her screech.

She could feel the tell tale signs of an orgasm swelling through her but She held it back, making it feel sweeter and richer with each passing moment. His fingers dug into hips hard enough to break her bones as he closed his eyes, focusing on his own pleasure. His pace turned more erratic and She gripped him around his torso, desperately trying to hang on so they could both orgasm at the same time. Pulling him down and attempting to hide her face in his throat, he stopped and leaned back looking at her beautiful flushed face.

“Ah--ah-- ah--” He held still. “Look at me.”

She did, letting herself melt into his gaze as he started again, harder and faster than before. Noises came from her, she didn’t know She could make and his hand wrapped around her throat, squeezing possessively. Each thrust sent shockwaves through her until She was right back to nearly cumming.

“Please--” It took effort to speak through his grip, but She was so close, she didn’t care if she had to beg. “Please, I’m so close--”

“Tell me how badly you want it.” He ordered, his own breath ragged.

“I need it-- please! Please, Roman!” She screamed like a desperate, shameless whore, before she exploded, tightening around him as his grip turned to a vice around her neck and somehow the lack of oxygen intensified the sensory overload to a new height. She drowned in the relentless, all encompassing sensations, that lasted far longer than She thought possible-- causing herself to completely release control for the first time in her life.

As the shocks rocked through her, she felt him stiffen and press into her as deep as possible, spending himself inside her. She couldn’t help but trip out a little about being so full of him. She’d never allowed anyone to finish inside her before.

“You really are good at everything,” he said playfully, as he rubbed his nose along hers, and held her a moment, before pulling out, and flopping down beside her. Brushing his fingers along her tight stomach, and full breasts, he decided she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

His mother was going to fucking hate her...

Perfect.

#bill skarsgard #roman #roman godfrey #my writing #smut #bill skarsgård smut #hemlock grove #perfect

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2dmenenthusiast · 4 years

Text

Grounded - Levi Ackerman x Reader

I had this whole thing typed out but it all got deleted cuz im an idiot so all I’ll say is that writing for Levi is hella difficicult, I hate the ending, and I hope you all enjoy. also yes there is a line from TWD in here but it fit so perfectly and it was too good to pass up okay? and I gave Hange they/them pronouns btw

(also one of my favorite fanfic writers @phen0l followed me and uhh I just wanna say that I’m honored?? They write amazing Levi fics and fics for other fandoms, so make sure to go check them out)

Summary: The Scouts are getting ready for the 57th expedition outside the walls, and you can’t help but let Levi know how worried you feel about the possible outcome of the mission

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings/other info: swearing, angst, death, spoilers for AOT season 1, reader has possible anxiety, reader is kept gender nuetral

No matter how many times you face them, no matter how many times you find yourself suspended in mid-air right over their gaping mouths, ready to swallow you whole, you will always have nightmares about that one fateful day in Shiganshina. The day the Colossal Titan kicked in Wall Maria and let his friends feast on the people in your district. Your friends, family, all destined to be one thing at that moment. Titan fodder. You still wonder how you made it out sometimes. How through all the commotion, a titan didn’t target you and scoop you into its mouth, effectively sealing your fate just like everyone around you. You chalked it up to luck at first before telling yourself that was bullshit. Luck didn’t have anything to do with it. Shit just happens, and there’s nothing you can do about it besides roll with the punches and try your best to survive.

The sight of your sister and father being eaten by those beasts was permanently engraved behind your eyelids, seeing flashes of their thrashing, screaming bodies whenever you close your eyes to go to sleep. In those moments, you always wondered why you survived rather than them. Your sister… she was the sweetest little thing, lighting up a room whenever she smiled and constantly greeting you at the door with a hug whenever you came back from shopping in town. You swore her laugh was all you needed to take you right out of a bad mood, reminding you that things weren’t so bad if you had someone so full of joy in your life. And your father, while he was stubborn, he made sure to take care of his family the best he could, and you were forever grateful for that. He raised you to be strong and rely on yourself because in the end, the only person you truly had on your side was you.

No one really knew about your past. Well, besides your superiors who needed to know, but other than them, your fellow cadets knew the bare minimum about your private life. Although, when they found out you were from Shiganshina, they all just automatically assumed you suffered a great loss of some kind, whether it be your family or your home. In your case, it was both. Of course, you were close with some of the other soldiers. Eld and Petra were people you considered to be good friends with, along with the rest of your captain’s squad. Though, that didn’t stop you from wanting to deck Oluo in the face whenever he got too cocky, throwing his arm around your shoulders during lunch before immediately removing it when you would elbow him in the ribs.

“Jeez, Oluo. You think you’d learn by now. What is this, the fifth, sixth time?” Petra asked, pushing a stray hand of hair behind her ear.

“Seventh,” you chimed as you brought a spoonful of soup up to your mouth.

“Aw, you’ve been keeping count. That must mean you actually like me.”

You raised an eyebrow as you looked over at him, placing the spoon back in your bowl before licking the remaining soup off of your lips. “You know this food is still steaming. Don’t make me throw it at your old ass face.”

He let out a noise of protest while the rest of the table laughed, and you snickered to yourself before shifting your gaze to meet Levi’s, his steely eyes almost piercing through you before he looked down into his cup and tuned back into the conversation his commander and squad leader Hange were having, watching as the dark liquid swirled around.

You always knew Levi to be a man of few words, but a strong sense of purpose. He wasn’t one to waste time on trivial things, always wanting to get straight to the point. He didn’t seem to be the type to waste time on feelings either, but you guessed it wasn’t any of your business. You knew he felt things. Experienced emotions and all that. You’d be stupid to think he didn’t. During training, when he’d survey your group to see how things were going, there would always be gossip when he left, your peers saying how he was cold and emotionless, but you disagreed. You had already heard the rumors of the captain being some type of underground gangster at that point, so when you really thought about it, it wasn’t unusual or weird for him to act the way he did. Something, someone, had made him that way, and that was okay. Something had affected all of you too. The world you all lived in didn’t have the time to spare you from grief or trauma.

“Cadet l/n.”

You jumped slightly at the sudden mention of your name, lifting your head to see your captain entering the mess hall with a signature cup of tea in his hand, and you gave him a lazy smile before looking back down at your own cup, the liquid having gone cold over the time you had been sitting there. Levi didn’t reprimand you for not saluting him, just silently walked over and occupied the seat across from you, looking at you with that stern gaze of his.

“You should be asleep. I won’t make training any easier for you tomorrow just because you’re tired.”

“This isn’t unusual for me, captain. Just needed something else to look at that wasn’t my bedroom wall,” you said, your voice quiet.

He slightly tilted his head as he studied you, lifting his hand to gesture around the room. “And you thought an empty mess hall would be better?”

You let out a scoff, meeting his eyes for a moment before sipping at your drink and immediately grimacing at the taste of it. “It’s better than the alternative. For now, at least.”

He didn’t respond at first, simply staring off into the distance as he let your words sink in before setting down his cup with a soft ‘clink.’ You thought that maybe if you weren’t so over everything at the moment, you wouldn’t be acting so casual with your superior, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Hopefully this wouldn’t bite you in the ass later

“You’re not the first one here to experience nightmares, you know.”

“Oh, so you have this talk with all of the cadets in the middle of the night?”

“No,” he answered simply, taking another sip of his drink.

You didn’t know why, but that simple interaction had been the best one you had with another person in months. Sure, you loved the company of your friends, but talking to Levi was just so… different. Almost liberating in a way. There were things you had told him that you never told anyone else during your late-night meetings, and it got to the point where you had found yourself looking forward to talking with him. Because you knew that behind his gaze was a man that felt so much, and you knew what that was like.

“You know… I only really made it out because they were too busy eating my family.”

Levi paused at that, eyebrows slightly raised as he looked at you over his cup that was pressed to his lips. He didn’t speak at first, taking his time as he leisurely drank his tea, and you could practically feel the depth of the silence looming over the both of you like it was its own presence.

“Shit, maybe I should’ve just kept my mouth shut,” you thought, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you anxiously waited for Levi’s response.

You didn’t want him to pity you. That was never your intention. You guessed you just.... wanted someone to know what you were thinking and feeling, tired of constantly keeping it to yourself. If you got eaten by a titan one day, you’d at least want someone to know who you were. Who you really were.

“Sorry, I um…” you looked around at everything besides the man sitting in front of you, trying to find a way to fill the silence. “You probably don’t wanna hear some sob story from some cadet, I-”

“‘Some cadet?’”

Your eyes snapped over to his, mouth slightly agape before swallowing thickly. “I… Well I mean-”

“Talking like that about yourself isn’t going to change anything or make anything better. You’re not just some cadet, and I’m even willing to say that you’re not as bad as some of the shit-for-brains we have here. You came here to do the same thing everyone else is here to do. Fight for humanity. Whether your end goal is selfish or to try and relieve yourself of some guilt from the past, it doesn’t matter.” He leaned closer to you, elbows placed on the table as he pinned you with his gaze. “Every life sacrificed out there matters. So does yours, even if you don’t think it does. And it’s our job to make sure those soldiers don’t die in vain.

You didn’t know what to say. No one had ever really talked to you like this, so how could you know how to respond? Luckily, he started speaking again so that you didn’t have to.

“Your family… it’s a shame what happened to them. What you had to go through. But, their deaths will be avenged, and I will make damn sure of it.”

That night was the first time you cried in probably months. You thought Levi would think of you as some pathetic little soldier, trying to gain the sympathy of their captain, but he didn’t. He just placed a hand over yours and let you cry, and you remembered how you were sort of surprised by how warm he was. You remember that talk like it was only yesterday when in reality it was years ago. You and Levi didn’t talk as much as you used to, considering the fact that he was constantly busy with helping the titan shifter cadet, Eren Jaeger, and you had been recruited to squad leader, so you had your own people to deal with. But that didn’t mean you two never spoke. Whenever your paths crossed, you’d make sure to give him a little greeting, whether it was a simple wave or a “hello.” And occasionally, when you couldn’t sleep and you’d come down to the mess hall, he was there, a steaming cup of tea in front of him, and you’d talk for a few hours until you both agreed it was time to try and catch some sleep.

Now, the soldiers were getting ready for the 57th expedition, and you couldn’t shake off the bad feeling you got whenever you thought about it. Of course, every expedition was dangerous. More often than not, the scouts would come back from outside the walls with more than a few dead, and on bad days, their numbers would be cut in half. Eren was making progress, and you hoped he would be useful, but a part of you was still doubtful.

“I’m worried,” you stated, arms crossed over your chest as you stood next to Levi, watching the cadets train vigorously.

“You always worry.”

You glanced over at the man and huffed, seeing him completely focused on the soldiers before you lightly kicked your boot into the dirt. “I guess that’s kinda my thing, isn’t it? Can you blame me though? We’ve seen what Eren can do, but… he hardly has it under control. And this isn’t exactly a normal expedition.”

“Things will turn out the way they turn out. There’s nothing we can do except make sure things go the best way they can.”

You sighed. Levi was able to reassure you most of the time, but other times he did nothing to calm your nerves. It wasn’t his job to, though. His responses were straightforward, and if you didn’t like it then that was just something you had to deal with.

“Ever the optimist, Levi,” you said, a sarcastic lilt to your voice, and you smiled when he glanced at you before shaking his head.

“Hey! You’re not here to slack off. Pick up the pace before I make you all train through dinner.”

You were used to Levi giving out orders. Hell, he gave them to you all the time, but his commanding voice sent shivers down your spine at that moment.

“He’s a freaking tiny tyrant, I swear,” you heard one of the cadets mutter, and you couldn’t help but snicker as you turned your head away from your captain, covering your mouth to conceal your smile.

“Find something funny?”

You cleared your throat as you shook your head, turning to Levi with a grin and shrugging your shoulders. “Not at all, captain. Just have a little cough is all.”

“Mhm. Maybe I should make you run it off then.”

“Aw c’mon, Levi. Have a little laugh. We all need one once in a while, especially considering the day you’re all going to have tomorrow.”

He just let out a hum, and your smile slowly dropped as you looked out at the horizon, the sky painted in beautiful strokes of orange and pink. Yes, you were right, you all needed those small moments of joy in this fucked up world you lived in, but you weren’t stupid enough to believe that those moments could last forever. Sometimes you just had to face the reality of the situation you were all in, and you couldn’t help the feeling of dread that filled you as you thought about tomorrow.

“You’re overthinking. Stop it,” Levi said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You shook your head and gave him a smile that felt bittersweet. “I can’t help it sometimes. I wish I could go with you.”

“We have enough force and skill in the recruits we have for the expedition. It would be a waste to put you and your squad into it and leave you hanging with no real job to do.”

“No real job? We’d be doing what everyone else would be; killing titans and keeping Eren safe! How would we not be useful? You know for a fact that my squad and I are plenty skilled and-”

“We can’t risk more sacrifices by putting you out there. We have enough people to hopefully accomplish what we need to.”

“Then why wasn’t my squad a first choice to go beyond the walls this time? We’re more capable than most of the people here and you know it. Maybe if I talk to Erwin he’ll-”

“This wasn’t just Erwin’s decision, it was mine. And your insubordination is starting to get irritating, so I suggest you take a walk.”

You looked at Levi with widened eyes, disbelief clear on your face, and you swallowed down what you actually wanted to say before letting out a deep breath.

“Levi, I-”

“Take a walk, l/n. I don’t wanna hear about it.”

You simply blinked at him a few times, clearly upset by the way he addressed you, before letting out a scoff and walking away, your jaw and fists clenched tightly. Yes, maybe you were being a bit childish, but you refused to acknowledge that when you felt so pissed at the moment.

“I mean, how can he just treat me like that?! Just completely dismiss me and not even give me a reasonable answer! He’s so… He’s just so… Ugh!”

You groaned and rested your head in your hands as you sat across from Hange, your friend looking at you with raised brows as they idly tapped their fingers against the table.

“I mean, he is your superior, y/n.”

“But that’s not the point! Like, yeah okay, I know he’s my captain and all that, but… We’ve always just been casual with each other. We’ve never seen each other as our ranks. I still respect him and follow his orders when he gives them but…” You let out a noise of frustration and slammed your fists down on the table. “That doesn’t give him the right to just pull out the superiority card whenever it benefits him!”

Hange blinked a few times before letting out a sigh, brushing a piece of stray hair out of their face as they leaned back in their chair, shrugging their shoulders. “I mean, he said it was also his decision, right? So maybe… he’s trying to keep you safe?”

Your eyes widened almost comically, feeling heat travel up the back of your neck at the mention of the possibility that Levi was concerned about your safety. “I-I… I mean he- um.”

“Oh my, are you getting flustered, y/n? Does the thought of Levi caring about you make your heart race?” Hange asked, a playful smirk on their face.

“Stop! For the love of everything, please stop,” you whined, waving your hands in front of you as you tried to ignore how embarrassed you felt.

Hange just laughed at you, continuing to poke fun until you threatened to not be a part of their crazy experiments anymore, to which they quickly backed off. You thought talking with Hange might make you feel better, but hours later when you were pacing in front of the door to Levi’s office, you still wanted to rip your hair out as you thought of what to say to him. Letting out a huff and straightening your posture, trying to gain some nerve, you raised your hand to knock on the door, only for it to suddenly open and reveal your captain, his cravat having come off and the first few buttons of his shirt undone.

“Your incessant pacing is driving me up the wall. What do you want?”

Oh, so he had heard you. You avoided eye-contact, reaching a hand up to rub at the back of your neck before clearing your throat to try and relieve some of the awkwardness you felt.

“Um… can I come in?”

You both stood there for a moment, Levi’s gaze traveling up and down your body before stepping aside to let you in, and you gave him a small, appreciative nod as you walked inside his office. The tension in your shoulders was almost painful, your whole body almost stiff as Levi walked in front of you to sit on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms over his chest. You didn’t know why you felt so nervous. It was only Levi, a man you had come to know for years. And while you didn’t know everything about him, you still considered you both to be somewhat close. So why were you feeling so weird right now?

“Uh… I wanted to talk about this afternoon,” you said, mindlessly fidgeting with your fingers.

Levi raised a curious brow, letting you linger in silence for a moment before letting out a soft hum. “Not sure it’s something worth talking about.”

Lips curving into a small frown, you mimicked his posture and crossed your arms, shifting your weight onto one foot. “Well, I think we left some things… unaddressed back there, and I wanna talk about it.”

He didn’t say anything, and you were starting to get pissed, your fuse short enough as it is. Your frustration finally hit its peak when he grabbed the cup of tea next to him and wordlessly took a sip, and you swore at that moment you wanted to take the cup and smash it against his head.

“Goddammit, would you stop drinking your stupid fucking tea and listen to me?!” you yelled, and you could see a flash of shock in his eyes at your outburst before he glared at you, setting his cup down.

“You wanna repeat that?”

“Oh, don’t get all fucking ‘Captain Levi’ on me. You know exactly what all of this is about. You didn’t even try to give me a reasonable explanation earlier, and I feel like I deserve one.”

“Do you? You think you deserve something for acting like this?”

“I’m not a child!”

“But I am your superior, which you seem to forget quite a lot.”

“That is such bullshit! Since when have you given two fucks about ranks when it comes to us? I follow your orders when I have to, not when you use your superiority when it’s most convenient for you.”

Levi clicked his tongue as he got off of his desk, rounding it to sit in his chair, and your fists were clenched so tightly it was becoming almost painful, your nails digging into your palms.

“You know, you say you’re not a child, yet you constantly act like one. Throwing a fit when you don’t get your way. Sometimes I wonder why Erwin made the decision to promote you.”

Your eyes widened as you softly gasped, questioning if you heard Levi correctly, but you know you did. There was no mistaking it. You always believed that Levi knew that you were capable, that you could protect yourself. But now he made you question if he really thought those things. Did he even respect you as a soldier? After countless nights of spilling your guts to him and him reassuring you… did he think of you as just some simple-minded cadet? You felt like your heart was in your throat and tears were threatening to spill, but you just swallowed everything down and turned your head away.

“Good luck on the expedition tomorrow,” you muttered, and you were quick to leave his office and rush back to your room, tears spilling down your cheeks.

______________

When it came time for your fellow scouts to leave for the expedition in the morning, you were a bit reluctant to watch them, knowing that you’d end up automatically spotting Levi in the crowd, and the petty side of you wanted to ignore him at all costs. However, the rational side of you remembered that it wasn’t just Levi going out there, it was other soldiers as well, most of them you knew personally, and you’d be damned if you didn’t give them a proper send-off, knowing the likelihood of some of them not making it back. So, you dragged yourself out of bed and made yourself presentable, slipping on your jacket as you stepped out of your room.

“Y/n!”

You turned at the shout of your name, seeing Hange waving excitedly at you as they jogged down the hall, slowing down to walk with you.

“So? How did it go with Captain Shorty?”

You groaned and rolled your eyes, bringing your fingers up to rub at your temples to try and cease the headache you already felt coming. “I don’t even wanna talk about it.”

“Dang, that bad, huh?” Hange grimaced.

“You have no idea. I just wanna forget about it”

Hange didn’t say anything more on the topic after that, simply talking about random things with you as you walked outside to the stables. You had a bad feeling settled in your stomach ever since you woke up, but as more time passed it just got worse.

“Hange,” you muttered, the squad leader turning towards you with raised eyebrows as they held the reins to their horse.

“Uh… Please be careful out there, okay?”

Hange looked shocked for a moment before their mouth split into a wide grin, and they quickly pulled you into a tight hug, which you immediately reciprocated.

“Aw, y/n! Don’t worry about me, I’m always careful!”

“That is such a lie, but I’ll believe you anyway,” you chuckled.

Pulling away from each other, Hange mounted their horse and joined the rest of the scouts at the gate, and you went to stand at the sidelines with the rest of your peers to watch them. Your eyes immediately caught sight of a head of familiar black hair, and you felt your heart grow heavy and your chest tighten, almost wishing he would feel your gaze and look over at you. But he didn’t and with Erwin’s war-cry, they charged through the open gate, the horses kicking up dirt and dust, and you only got a glance at their retreating figures before the gate was closed again.

______________

Every minute that ticked by felt like hours. You didn’t know how long they would be gone, the time usually spent outside the walls ranging from a few hours to a few days. You hoped it was the former, knowing that the longer they were out there, the more likely they were to get killed. You knew your comrades were skilled, having been outside the walls with them and seen their skills up close, but that didn’t stop you from worrying. Now with the Eren being a titan shifter and a traitor in your midst, anything could happen.

You almost didn’t acknowledge the shouting of your fellow soldiers that afternoon, too focused on taking care of some of the horses in the stables. But when you finally heard it, you quickly stopped what you were doing and ran to the gate. They were back. Adrenaline coursed through you as your heart pounded like a drum against your chest, and when you finally caught sight of the returning scouts, you immediately stopped in your tracks. The look on their faces was one of defeat, and you could already tell just by looking at them that not all of them made it back. When you spotted Hange, you felt some relief wash over you and you quickly made your way over to them, walking beside their horse.

“Hange, what happened? Was the mission successful?”

Hange didn’t answer, a blank look on their face, which was identical to the expressions on all of the other soldier’s faces. It was a bad day, that much you could tell, and you made brief eye-contact with Levi before looking for your friends. Only… you couldn’t see them. Turning around frantically, you spotted Eren laying in a cart and ran over, jumping in beside him as you glanced at his hand clutching Mikasa’s. He looked even worse than everyone else did. No, loss was never easy, but Eren was just a kid, and experiencing so much of it at his age must have been devastating for him, especially when he was so passionate about saving humanity.

“Eren, tell me what happened. Who… Who did we lose?” you asked.

You didn’t even know if you wanted to know the answer, seeing Eren so broken and torn up already told you that what happened out there wasn’t good, but when was it ever? The boy had tears falling down his cheeks, trying to keep his sobs quiet, and Mikasa just looked at you with narrowed eyes.

“Y/n, I don’t think right now’s a good time-”

“Please!” You gripped the cape that was laid over top of Eren, eyes focussed on the blue and white wings embroidered on the back and you sniffled as you tried to hold back the tears that were desperately trying to come out. “I… I need to know. Please, Eren…”

He stared at you with wide eyes, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed before letting out a shuddered breath. “They… We were after the female titan and she… I couldn’t save them, y/n. They died protecting me!”

Your face seemed void of any emotion as Eren’s words sunk in, piercing your heart like a million knives, and all you did was nod silently before jumping out of the cart, your mind going on autopilot as you walked. You didn’t need him to explain who he was talking about for you to already put the pieces together. Levi had told you that Eren was going to be a part of his squad so that he could keep an eye on him, and his squad was in charge of protecting him. He had become humanity’s number one asset after all. Civilians were shouting at all of you, cursing at you and hurling insults at your face. You weren’t even one of the scouts on the expedition, but that didn’t matter. As long as you wore the wings of freedom on your back, you were a bastard like the rest of them. No more, no less.

You had stumbled too close to the crowd, too preoccupied with your thoughts to even notice, until a large man gripped your shoulders and pushed you in front of the horses, your body landing harshly in the dirt as some of the people laughed at you. You heard someone shout your name, but it sounded distant to you, everyone’s drowned out underneath the roaring of your thoughts. You shifted yourself onto your hands and knees, only to look up and see Hange crouched down in front of you, a concerned expression on their face.

“Y/n, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

There was a ringing in your ears as you looked at them, trying desperately to just get a grip.

The dirt under my hands, the dryness in my mouth, the shouts of the citizens, the musty smell of the horses… Hange right in front of me.

“I’m fine. I… I’m fine.”

The single tear slipping down your cheek went unnoticed by you, but it was one of the things that let Hange know that you were lying. That you weren’t fine. Reaching out to wipe the tear away Hange shook their head.

“Y/n-”

“I’ll see you later, okay?”

Giving Hange a tight-lipped smile, you picked yourself up off the ground and made your way back to the Scout’s headquarters, feeling everyone’s eyes on your back, and you couldn’t help but wonder if Levi was watching you too.

______________

You didn’t keep track of how long you cried that day, keeping yourself locked in your room and sobbing until your body physically couldn’t produce any more tears. The last time you cried this much was when your family died, same thing could be said when you thought about the last time you felt this way. Like all hope was lost. You found yourself questioning what the point of all of this was for a moment before you quickly slapped yourself out of that thought. You knew why you had to do this, why the Survey Corps was important. But shit, all this loss? You didn’t know how much more you could take. Especially if days like today became more frequent.

Then you got to thinking about Levi and the stupid argument you had yesterday. At the time, you felt like your feelings were justified, and maybe they were, but now you felt like a complete idiot for arguing with him, especially the day before an expedition where it was one hundred percent possible that he could’ve died out there. The thought of your last interaction being some petty argument made more tears fall, and you gripped the sheets of your bed so tightly that you thought they might rip. Did he even want to speak to you now? Maybe he realized that you were just some immature little soldier and wanted nothing to do with you.

No, you couldn’t accept that. You wouldn’t. Standing from your bed, you harshly wiped at your eyes and sniffled, trying to look like you weren’t crying for hours on end - even though it was pointless, you knew Levi would be able to tell immediately - and exited your room to start making your way to Levi’s office. Your nerves were kicked into high gear, but you refused to let this man intimidate you. You were going to let him know how you felt and he was going to listen. Of course, your confidence immediately deflated when you found yourself standing in front of his door, but you swallowed down your nerves and knocked, taking a deep breath.

Levi’s muffled voice came from the other side of the door, telling you to come in, and you let out a small huff as you gripped the doorknob and let yourself in. He didn’t even look up from the paperwork in front of him when you walked in, and as the door closed behind you and you moved to stand in front of his desk with your hands held behind your back, you lightly cleared your throat to get his attention. His eyes flickered up to meet yours, and you could feel yourself shrink under his gaze. There was no doubt he saw what happened earlier today when they came back, and from the way he was examining you, you knew he could easily tell that you had been crying.

“Did you need me?” he asked, and you sharply inhaled at the sound of his voice. It felt like forever since he talked to you last, and hearing him speak made your stomach do flips.

“Uh… I don’t know, honestly. I didn’t really practice what I was going to say before I came in here.”

He raised a brow at you. “‘Practice?’”

“I mean, it’s kinda hard to talk to you. Not that that’s a bad thing, it’s just… Ah shit, I don’t know. It might just be me. I’m not the best at articulating, you know?”

He hummed and grabbed his cup as you let out a sigh, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk and leaning your elbows on your knees, bouncing your leg. Taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you wordlessly gazed at him for a moment, a made-up image of his death flashing in your mind before you shook your head and ran your hand down your face.

“Look, um… I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for yesterday. For questioning your judgment when I should’ve just dealt with it. You’re my superior and I disrespected you so… Again, I’m sorry.”

Silence fell between you for a moment before he let out a sigh, setting down his cup before leaning his chin against his propped up hand. “Don’t apologize. You were right.”

Your eyes widened. Did you hear that correctly? “Uh, I’m sorry?”

Getting up from his seat, he rounded his desk to stand in front of you, and you were even more confused. You swore he would’ve been done with you by now.

“You said you and your squad were more than capable of handling the mission. You were right. Or at least, you were right at the time. The female titan would’ve wiped us all out if she wanted to, just like she did my squad. I don’t doubt that if you went after her, you’d be dead right now too.”

You stiffened slightly at his words, fingers gripping your knees as you let out the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in. “Oh.”

“As captain, I’m supposed to remain unbiased. My decisions should be based on the greater good of humanity and my comrades. If my judgment is wrong, then that’s something I have to live with. Making my squad protect Eren was my decision, and they died.” He let out a long breath. “When Erwin decided to not bring you on the expedition, I was opposed to it at first. I knew that you and your squad would be able to aid us greatly, but I couldn’t sway him. However, now that I think about it, I’m glad you weren’t there.”

You were at a loss for words. When Hange had joked the other day about Levi caring about you, you didn’t take it seriously. But now that you were hearing all of this… Did he care for you? Or was it just your wishful thinking that was causing you to interpret things wrong? Slowly standing up, you briefly met his gaze before walking over to the window and looking out at the night sky, the sun having gone down a while ago, and you wrapped your arms around yourself as you tried to piece together what you wanted to say to him.

“Even if you think I was right, I’m still sorry. I don’t like arguing, especially with you. And the fact that you had to go on an expedition the next day…” You swallowed thickly. “I was scared. I know you say that there’s no use regretting the decisions we’ve made, but if you died out there today and a stupid argument was the last interaction we ever had, I would’ve regretted it every day of my life.” You turned to face him, eyes glossing over. “I would’ve beat myself up when I know you’d want me to continue to be strong. But I feel like I can’t do that without you, and I feel so weak and stupid for saying that. For feeling like the only thing that gives me hope in this godforsaken world is you.”

Levi remained silent, not that you expected him to say anything, and you sniffled as you reached up to wipe at your teary eyes before sighing and giving him a sad smile.

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t wanna hear some silly confession. I’ll let you get back to your business,” you said, walking past Levi to get to the door, but you didn’t make it that far when his hand suddenly shot out and gripped your arm, causing you to turn back and look at him.

“Why do you always do that?”

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“You never take yourself seriously and act like the people around you don’t either. You’re self-deprecating. You did the same thing when I found you in the mess hall years ago. Why?”

“I… I don’t know, I guess I just get nervous around you.”

“Why?”

Your mouth felt dry suddenly, and your heart was racing as Levi’s grip on your arm tightened and he pulled you closer. “Because… I want to be strong in front of you. I don’t want you to see me as someone immature and incapable, and I’m scared of embarrassing myself in front of you.”

“Did you find your confession embarrassing? Do you want me to forget about it?”

“If you want to.”

“Mm. And what if I don’t?”

You let out a shuddered breath, eyes flitting down to his lips for a moment. “Then what will you do about it?”

Neither of you moved at first, your gaze not leaving one another, and you felt like your heart was about to beat out of your chest, it was going so fast. You wondered if Levi was experiencing the same feeling. Wondered if underneath that stoic, calm expression, his blood was pumping in his ears and his pulse was going crazy. You were waiting for him to do something, anything, as he stared at you with an almost challenging look. It made anger flare up in you for some reason, and you clenched your jaw as you narrowed your eyes.

No, I won’t let this get away from me.

Reaching up, your hand grabbed at his cravat, yanking him forward into an almost desperate kiss that had your mind reeling. His brows were scrunched up, body tense, before finally relaxing, and you could feel him almost melt into you as he brought both of his hands up to hold your face, eagerly responding. Your frustration had been building up ever since your fight, and you felt like you were both letting it all out now, each kiss hungry and rushed, barely able to pull your faces away before one of you was pulling the other one in again.

“Fuck, I can’t stand you sometimes,” you breathed out between kisses, fingers weaving into Levi’s dark locks and lightly tugging, causing him to let out a soft groan against your lips.

“Stop talking.”

You don’t know when the anxiety started bubbling in your stomach or why your heart felt like it was about to jump out of your throat, all you knew was that every sensation was suddenly overwhelming. Levi’s hands, his lips, his breath against your face, it was all too much. You were suddenly pushing him away, tears quickly building up behind your eyes as you panted for breath. Whether it be from the desperateness of your kisses, or the constricting of your chest, you didn’t know. You just knew that everything was suddenly hitting you at once, and you couldn't get a grasp on how to deal with it.

“Y/n…”

Right, Levi was still here, and he looked at you with a hand slightly reached out, waiting for you to meet him halfway. You hesitated, staring at his hand like you were trying to see through it, before eventually grabbing it, and he slowly pulled you into his chest. Your arms were limp at your sides, silent tears streaming down your face as Levi held you.

“They’d be proud of you, y/n. You know that.”

You felt like you had been falling all of your life, nothing to stop you, nothing to hold onto as you plummeted through an endless abyss. But now, as you brought your hands up to grip the back of Levi’s jacket and sobbed into his shoulder, for once, you felt like your feet had finally found the ground.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi imagine #aot x reader #snk x reader #aot fanfiction #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi x gn!reader

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bitch-out · 4 years

Text

OKAY i know you didn’t ask for a full length fic but... i couldnt help myself. here it is:

Four times Alex saw signs that the world was changing to become more accepting of people like him, and the one time he actually realized it.

1. TV SHOW

After finishing practice for the night, the band walked into Julie’s house. Luke immediately walked into the kitchen, wanting to see what meal her dad was whipping up. His obsession with watching lifers eat was starting to get a little concerning. Reggie followed after him, wanting to hang out with Julie’s dad. That was also a little concerning.

Julie plopped down on the couch next to her little brother, Carlos, who was watching a TV show that she didn’t recognize. Alex hopped over the couch and took a seat next to her, looking at the screen intently.

“What is he watching?” Alex asked, reclining into the couch.

Julie shrugged in response. “I’m not sure…”

Carlos looked over to her with a questioning expression. “Huh?” Oh crap. She needed to stop talking to the boys while other people were around. It made her look absolutely bonkers.

“…what you’re watching! I’m not sure what you’re watching.” She said quickly, trying to avoid any awkwardness. “What is it?”

He seemed to buy it, letting her weirdness go. “Oh, I’m watching this new show. I forget what it’s called. It’s about this girl who accidentally gets musical superpowers after getting stuck by lightning.”

“Cool,” she answered, settling into the couch. She and Alex watched for a few minutes before looking at each other in confusion. They had absolutely no idea what was going on in the show. They looked at the screen as the main character sighed dramatically, slamming her door while running out of her house. “I’m lost. What’s happening? Why is she so mad?” Julie asked.

Carlos rolled his eyes. “She’s in a fight with her dads right now because they won’t let her go to this big party. Now shhh! It’s getting juicy!”

Luke’s eyes went wide as the scene switched to the main characters dads, who were sharing a tender moment while discussing their child. Two dads? On television? Without it being played off as a joke? He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the screen.

Julie looked at him inquisitively, noticing his surprised expression. She raised an eyebrow.

“I see.” A soft smile settled on his face. “Cool.” He bit his lip and leaned back.

“Cool.” She agreed. She almost said something, but then decided it would be better for her to wait for him to tell her.

2. PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION

“People watching in 2020 is way better than people watching in the 90’s.” Reggie stated as they walked through downtown LA. They were killing time while Julie was at school. They passed a man in a superhero costume who was taking pictures with tourists.

“I know right?” Luke agreed. “I love looking over people’s shoulder and watching what they’re doing on those… high tech cellphone things.”

“Smartphones,” Alex offered.

“Smartphones, right.”

Reggie ran over to a middle aged guy in a suit sitting on a bench who was looking intently at his phone. “Look at this guy! He’s looking at an article called ‘How to tell if you have foot fungus’.” He wrinkled his nose. “Gross. You might wanna get that checked out, buddy,” patting his shoulder, his hand passing right through.

Luke looked around for someone else to observe. “Okay see the one over there in the blue striped shirt eating a chili dog?” He pointed over to his left to a man walking away from a hot dog stand.

The man went to take a bite out of his chili dog but dripped it all down the front of his shirt. “Oooooh…. Missed his mouth on that one,” Luke said, cringing.

“That’s nasty,” Alex chimed in.

A guy who looked to be around their age speed walked past them, looking down. He brushed his shaggy blonde hair out of his face as he grinned down at his phone. He was obviously walking with a purpose.

“This guy is hustling! Cmon!” Reggie grinned, jogging after him. Luke and Alex ran over to catch up, all three of them following in pursuit. They all looked over his shoulder to read his text messages. He was texting someone he had named “babe <3” in his contacts.

Can’t wait to see u, his text read, im right around the corner

Reggie whistled. “His girlfriend’s probably a complete hottie if he’s that excited to see her-”

As they turned the corner, the blonde stranger they were following put his phone away as he caught sight of someone. He broke into a run and bear hugged the person, wrapping his arms around them and lifting them off the ground. As he pulled away, it was revealed that the person he was hugging was a brunette guy around the same age as them.

The brunette murmured something, his lips quirking into a smirk. The blonde teen let out a laugh, then pulled him into a kiss.

Alex nearly gasped in surprise, looking around to notice that… not a singular person was looking over. Everyone was just going about their day as normal. No glares, no sneers, not even a scoff.

It felt like the breath was sucked out of his lungs. Was this… normal? The couple broke apart and joined hands, continuing down the street. Alex couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. No one had even batted an eyelash at the public display of affection.

To him, it hadn’t been that long ago since 1995. When even looking at someone for too long would get you called a slur. When his own father would call him a-

“Alex? You good?” He was broken out of his thoughts by Luke looking over at him concernedly.

Alex opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by someone else.

“There you guys are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

They turned around in tandem to see Julie standing there, her eyes sparkling. And they continued with their day, moment forgotten.

3. MUSIC

Alex found himself once again alone with Julie, hanging out with her in her room. He was the only member of the band she would let hang out with her in here, which filled him with an odd sort of pride.

They were currently listening to one of her Spotify playlists. Julie was doing homework on her bed and Alex was tapping his drumsticks on his knee, following the beat of the song they were listening to. He was getting into the groove of the song “This song has a good beat!” he exclaimed. “What is this?”

She grinned at him. “It’s called ‘Girls like Girls’ by Hayley Kiyoko!” She stood up on her bed, dropping her homework and singing into an imaginary microphone as the chorus hit. She belted at the top of her lungs, “Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new~” She laughed as she flopped back onto her bed.

He gaped at her, surprised that she was treating it with such nonchalance. In the 90’s, this would have been music you listened to at 2 am when your parents were asleep. “Is this a… popular song?” he asked.

“Yeah, I mean it’s from like 2015 so it’s basically ancient but it’s still pretty popular.” She turned back to her homework and picked up her pen. “I think the music video has like over 100 million hits on YouTube or something like that.”

His jaw dropped even further “100 million?”

The timer on her phone went off. The words BAND PRACTICE blared across the screen with the chime of her ringtone. “I’ll show it to you later! But we have to go to rehearsal right now.”

He shook his head and followed her out of the room.

4. COVINGTON

As both his friends were pulled away by girls saucily dancing in feathered blue outfits, Alex stood awkwardly like a fish out of water. Covington slid up to him with a sly smirk on his face. “Come now. You can’t be the only one not dancing.”

“No, I… I know.” Alex sputtered. “I’m just…” Not into dancing with girls? No, he couldn’t just say that. He didn’t want to cause a scene. He pointed over his shoulder. “I’m looking for Willie,” he finished lamely.

Covington seemed to read him like an open book. He smiled and gestured with open palms. “Dante! Fuego!” Two handsome men slid up to either side of him. “Meet Alex.” The linked arms with him.

Alex looked at them, surprised. How did he know? Is this like a theater thing? Or… “You’re welcome,” Covington smirked, ducking down. Is this normal here…?

His thoughts were cut off as he was lifted up over Covington’s head and pulled into a fast-paced dance.

5. PRIDE

“Slow down Willie!” Alex shouted, running after his brunette friend as he skated through lifers and tore down the street.

Willie laughed and hopped off his board, picking it up off the ground. He waited for Alex to catch up with him “Relax, we’re almost here…”

Alex was too busy catching his breath to realize they were in the middle of a giant crowd. Lifers walked through them every few seconds like it was nothing “Wh-What is this?” Alex asked, looking around. Everyone was wearing colorful clothing and most were wearing some kind of glitter.

The skater laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the street. “We’re skating the floats, dude.” He pointed at the bright floats that were parading down the street.

Was this some kind of festival or something? Alex wondered. “Why is everything so… colorful?”

Willie looked at him like he was missing something obvious. “It’s June. Pride month.” Alex didn’t know what that was. He looked around, trying to figure it out. “You’ve never seen a pride parade before?” Willie questioned. Then, he realized. “Right. Right, you’re a 90’s ghost. I keep forgetting about that.” He slapped his forehead.

Then, he realized what this was. Alex turned to his right and saw two women kissing. A couple of guys his age were holding hands right next to him. Signs as far as the eye could see read ‘here and queer’ and ‘all you need is love’ and ‘love is love’ and countless other sayings. His breath stuttered in his chest “This is…”

“I know. Pretty cool, right?” Willie asked, sounding pretty nonchalant. He was scouting out the floats, focused on his task.

“And this is all for…” Alex hesitated, “For gay people?”

“All LGBTQ+ people, technically, but yeah dude.” Willie clarified. He grinned, his eyes set on a float just down the road. He found the perfect route.

“So it really is different now, huh?” Alex asked, his voice cracking slightly. Willie looked back in alarm, not realizing how much this was impacting the drummer beside him. A tear rolled down his cheek, but his smile could not be bigger. Alex continued, “Like I had hoped it was, and there’s been some signs, but this is…” He covered his mouth to hide a sob.

Willie walked over to his side, dropping his skateboard and taking his hand gently. “Yeah, Alex. It’s different. Better. Not perfect, but... a lot better.” He squeezed his hand.

“It’s amazing.” Alex said, wiping the tears from his eyes with his sleeve and grinning. He let out a laugh as a drag queen passed by and waved at the crowd, blowing kisses.

The skater couldn’t take his eyes off of Alex. He was absolutely glowing, basking in the atmosphere of the parade. “You know what? Let’s forget the skating.” Willie decided, taking his skateboard from the side of the street and tucking it in an alley.

“Huh?” Alex was confused. Willie wanted to... not go skating?

“It’s time to get your pride on, Alex.”

Together, they spent the rest of the day exploring every area of pride, ducking through crowds and sneaking onto floats. There was even one point where they ran through a huge glitter cannon, getting absolutely covered in glitter.

After it was all done, Willie teleported back to Julie’s house with him to drop him off.

“That was the most fun I’ve ever had.” Alex admitted, his smile seemed to be permanently glued to his face.

“Me too. I’ve been to tons of pride parades, but none of them were as fun as this one.” Willie admitted.

“Really? What was different about this one? Was it the glitter cannon? It was probably the glitter cannon-”

“It was you, Alex.” The skater said quietly, brushing a couple stray pieces of glitter off of the taller boy’s cheek.

“Oh,” Alex breathed, looking down at Willie. His heart was racing a mile a minute. He hadn’t realized they were standing so close together.

Willie hesitated for a moment. Was this the moment? He didn’t want to rush Alex. He was probably overwhelmed enough after experiencing his first pride. He smiled up at the blonde and patted him on the shoulder. “Goodnight, Alex.” He stepped away and turned to leave.

He was just about to teleport when he heard “Wait!”

Willie turned around Alex kissed him.

He stiffened at first, surprised. Before he could respond, Alex pulled away and looked at him in panic.

“I’m so sorry, I thought-”

Willie grabbed him by the lapels and dragged him down, kissing him heatedly. Alex responded with enthusiasm, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“ABOUT TIME!” someone hollered from behind him.

They broke away to see Luke and Reggie beaming. They both ran over and hugged them both in a group hug. “We thought you two would never figure it out.” Luke said, causing Reggie to laugh.

“Happy pride, Alex”. Willie murmured, squished up against his side. And Alex couldn’t have been happier.

#julie and the phantoms #alex x willie #willie x alex #willex #fic #this was entirely too long im so sorry #anyways... send me prompts!

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arans-princess · 4 years

Text

I wanna play

Sakusa-nii x reader x atsumu

Degradation, rough sex, spitting, cnc, this gets dark yall, light somno. Poly relationship

- Omi-nii doesn’t like most people except you, you are the only exception, he loves his little sister to death. He would do anything to keep you happy.

- He doesn’t like bodily fluids unless they come from you, everything you do is so adorable to him, you’re his Imōto

- The way you whine as he eats out your cute little cunny, music to his ears

- The way you claw at his back as his thick cock splits you open, is so sweet. He knows his dick it too big for you, but the way you tell him you’re a big girl and you can take it, any thing for nii-chan; makes his cock throb.

- The way you babble and drool as he fucks you silly, your eyes rolling back as he bounces you on his dick, one large calloused hand around your throat using it as leverage. The other holds you at your hip with a bruising grip as he plows into you.

- The bathroom sink is frigid on your feverish body, but it does nothing to quell the heat inside you. He applies just enough pressure to your neck so that you're looking at yourself in the mirror.

- He gladly pounds your third orgasm out of you, his hips unrelenting as the post game adrenaline has flooded his veins. Gosh, when they said he was a part of the generation of monsters they weren’t kidding.

“Omi-nii, ugh, fuck I-I Im gonna cum!” you babble through strangled moans, your pulse pounding in your head as his thick fingers press against the sides of your throat, cutting off blood supply to your brain. Drunk off the pleasure, you can feel your head swimming, drowning in the sensation of his fat cock brushing against your sweet spot, the cold counter digging into you adds to your pleasure.

“Yes, you can y/n-chan, yes you can. C’mon, be my good girl, cum on for me, cum for your nii-chan.” he bends down, leaning into your neck and bites. Leaving a trail of marks from your collarbone to your ear. “Just a little more for me, baby” the hand on your hip travels to your clit and rubs tight circles on your overused bud. His hips still as he increases the pace of his fingers. “You're clamping down so hard, baby girl, you gonna squirt for me?” he looks up at your blissed out expression, your legs are trembling, arms desperately clinging to the arm attached to your throat.

“Omi, please I wanna taste you.” You mewl out clawing at his forearm, nails digging deep into his veiny flesh. Somehow, he takes you to heights unknown as his cock throbs in your wet heat. Now that he stopped thrusting you can feel your cunt pulsing, your slick is dripping down your ass onto the sink below making your ass slippery; you would have slid off, if not for you big brother supporting you, such a good brother. The hand on your throat migrates to your chin gripping it harshly, prying open your mouth. His face draws closer to yours as he gathers a glob of saliva and plops on to your tongue. You hold it in there waiting for him to give you permission to swallow, both of your fluids mingling in your mouth. Tongue twitching in anticipation, your eyes meet his in a silent plea.

“Swallow princess. Be a good girl and squirt for me, c’mon” he coos while looking at your fucked out face; eyes rolling back, mouth open in a silent scream. With his encouragement you let go of the knot building in your belly, and all at once fluid gushes out of your cunt as he continues to rub your clit, working you through this mind numbing orgasm like a good big brother. Not even the groaning coming from one of the stalls can snap you out of this bliss.

“Holy fuck Omi-kun, I didn’t know she could squirt!” Both of your heads snap in the direction of the voice in search of the owner. Omi is shocked to find the owner, it’s Tsumu, his teammate. Oh fuck. “Poor little y/n-chan too fucked out on your brother's cock to care? Look at you. You look so fucking pathetic. You like when your big brother uses you like a toy? Don’t you?” Tsumu teases while inspecting your used body, he’s right. You’re covered in drool, cum is seeping out of your puffy cunt. You’re a mess. But you’re Nii-chan’s mess, right? “So this is what’s going to happen. I’m going to play with your toy. You can watch or leave, I don’t really care. Unless you want me to tell the press you fuck your baby sister like a whore? You can kiss your career goodbye. Yeah it would suck to have you off the team but; rumor has it, this Kyōtani Kentarō kid is being scouted for the team next year. I would love to set for him. Hate to see you go though.” That damn smirk never leaves his face, and he doesn't take his eyes off you, not even for a second. You can feel nii-chan stiffen between your legs as the realization hits him. He has to comply if he wants to keep your lives from derailing.

“Fine,” Omi spits, “can I finish here first? I'm still hard.” his question is harsh, you can practically see steam coming from his ears, his face that was already red from the exertion deepened. His chest is still heaving, but you can't tell if it's from anger or not. It most likely is. This anger is only intensified with blond’s response. “ Yeah no. I want my payment now.” the blonde chuckles, looking very pleased with himself. Omi’s grip on your body tightens immensely, painfully even, yet somehow through this exchange you have not come to terms with what's happening quite yet. It's not until Omi withdraws from your heat that you understand the gravity of the situation. Your relationship has been found out, after years of being so careful, this is what happens. All because you couldn't keep your greedy little hands to yourself. You should feel more responsible but you can't bring yourself to. You're too far gone, trapped in your own mind, locked away in subspace.

Next thing you know Tsumu plunges into your heat roughly and sets a brutal pace from the start. His cock isn’t the same and nii-chans, it's not as long. It doesn’t hammer into your cervix, but it's twice as thick, and the stretch burns. It’s not a good burn, it hurts. You dont like Tsumu fucking you. You're not his toy, you belong to nii-chan, not his teammate. You look over at Omi and see him standing in the corner. His cock is still hard and throbbing, the tip is a bright red, and he looks so ready to burst. ”Nii-chan, make him stop, I-I don't like him inside me. H-hurts, it hurts.” you croak out, attempting to reach out for him. The sight breaks his heart in two, he wants nothing more than to fling that shit-head off of his precious baby sister, but he can’t. He takes a half step towards you then stops himself, knowing if he interrupts his career is over, and with that so is your life of comfort. He simply can't have that. Omi swallows his pride and tries to tune out your wails of anguish as Tsumu defiles you, but your cries only get louder and louder as he continues.

“Such a slut, aren't you y/n-chan? This little hole just weeps for anyone doesn't it?” Tsumu questions while leaning in your face, breath fanning over you. The rank smell of coffee assaults your nostrils, making you try and turn away, but he roughly snatches your face back to look at him. His fingers are roughly digging into your cheeks and the pressure forces your jaw open. Your eyes widen in fear as you realize what is about to happen. He hocks a fat glob of spit inside your pliant mouth, the look in his eyes tells you to swallow or risk harsher treatment. So with fat tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill over, you do as he asks. The pounding never ceases as he beams brightly down at you. His smile, one you once found endearing, now makes your stomach turn, and you close your eyes and hope for him to finnish quickly.

“Aht aht aht, c’mon princess, look at me. Look at me and be grateful that someone is stuffing your stupid little cunt at all.” he chuckles as he thrusts harder into your womb, the stretch doesn’t burn like it did before, as your body finally adjusted to his massive girth. Reluctantly you open your eyes and look at his figure looming above you. He’s drenched in sweat and his face is flushed with exertion. He looks almost appealing like this, with his eyebrows furrowed, eyes blown wide in lust and some other emotion, hate? No, it doesn't bite the same. Its- its love.

Love? He loves you? Oh yeah that's right , when Omi joined the team and brought you around to meet the team, he made it a point to keep Tsumu far away from you. One time Tsumu had managed to snag you away from the group, and while you don't remember much about that night, you do know that Omi was really mad about it. Omi said he was flirting but you didn't even realize it. The whole time you only had eyes for your Nii-chan. That must be why he was lurking in the bathroom. Now that you’re thinking, Atsumu was always around when you two would run off, and you always felt another set of eyes watching you… oh yeah, that’s right… You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you feel a pressure on your clit. The rough pads of his fingers circle your clit, you can feel the calluses on your sensitive nub throwing you over the edge into yet another orgasm. You claw at his back, unconsciously pulling him into you. The way your pussy clamps down on his length makes him gasp, professing his love in your ear as he shoots his load into you. But they dont say he is a part of the generation of monsters for nothing, he doesn't stop his relentless pace, pushing all of his cum out of you. Your vision starts to get blurry, between the tears and the haze of overstimulation taking over. You can hear Omi get angry somewhere in the back of your head, but it sounds far away, like he’s yelling underwater.

You feel your body tense up for yet another orgasm and then your vision cuts out. When you come to, Atsumu is still fucking you, but the pleasure is gone. It’s too much, and when you register this you start fighting back, pushing his face off your neck, shoving his shoulders back to try and dislodge him. Then you hear him chuckle darkly.

“Don't worry y/n-chan, I'll be done shortly, I was able to cum a few more times when you went to sleep on me. Did you know you cum even when you pass out?” he places a gentle kiss on your forehead. You look over to the side and see your big brother sitting in the corner. You look in his eyes and see barely contained rage. The fire in them looks like it could melt a diamond. Tsumu lifts your shirt to take a nipple in his mouth as he cums, sheathing himself in your heat completely, filling you up beyond what you thought was possible.

Your legs start to give out and Omi notices this, he rushes to your side to hold you up-right. “ATSUMU, I told you to be more careful with her! We can't break our princess. Well at least not somewhere so public. Come here baby girl, Nii-chan will take care of you.”

“I’m sorry princess, I got a little carried away. Here, let's get you home. We can cuddle and watch some movies. And up you go!” Tsumu looks at you sheepishly as he apologises, then he lifts you up and pulls his hoodie over your head. He carries you out of the bathroom, uncaring for the strange looks you three get. Your face is buried in his neck and your legs are wrapped around his waist. Omi glares at anyone who even thinks about asking about your identity.

Your relationship might be a little unorthodox, but it’s yours and everyone is happy with it. More importantly you and Omi have realized what happens when Tsumu feels left out.

#kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #kiyoomi smut #kiyoomi x reader smut #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader smut #tsumu x reader #tsumu x reader smut #tw.cnc #Kayla in the dark #Aran's bby writes #tw: incest

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thiswasinevitableid · 4 years

Note

For a writing prompt, Indruck post apocalyptic au (preferably everyone is human?) Indrid is infected by some sort of alien parasite, and the only way they can save him is to cut it out of him without anesthesia? Feel free to be as graphic as you want, but if it’s too whumpy for you, no pressure to write it! Thanks as always!

Here you go! It’s mid-level graphic: if it were a movie, you wouldn’t be seeing guts everywhere, but you would see the wounds. Also, content warning for body horror, namely the kind where a fungus takes over your body, and referenced suicide (no suicide actually occurs, don’t worry)

He should have seen it coming.

The tell-tale dampness and smell in the air, like battery acid and rotten milk, the fact that he’d made it the whole trip without seeing any Mycilioptera (that was, according to Joseph, the scientific term for the for the cat-sized, skittering alien creatures looking for someone to sting).

The creature was on him with a droning, high whine, scratching his face, smearing stinging mucus across his eyes and mouth. He made a rookie error, following his instinct to rip off the the substance dulling his senses, rather than feel sweep his arms over his body, locate the creature, and hurl it as far away as he could.

When the stinger hit his stomach, he screamed. The noise was useless; this quadrant of the city was abandoned months ago. He collapsed to the ground, clutching his sides as the pain seeps through them. His eyes cleared enough that he forced his fingers to work, grip the handle of his hatchet, and cleave it with a crunch.

Now, clutching the steering wheel of the Winnebago (in this world you do not need a fast car; you need something with thick sides and room for supplies and friends), he knows there are only two ways this can go.

If he is lucky, the parasite will be slow acting enough and he will stay lucid enough to reach the ranch in time for someone to remove it.

If he is unlucky, he will run out of time, and the parasite will take control of his body, manipulate him zombie-like to an advantageous location, and burst from his chest, mouth, and eyes in milky-white stalks, sending spores into the air, which will either grow in to adults or be inhaled by any other humans in a two mile radius, subjecting them to a prolonged version of Indrid’s fate.

He leans on the gas pedal, hurtling down the empty backroad. They found an abandoned, un-pilfered gas station and filled all the vehicles, with some left over for scouting and supply runs. And, if it came to it, an escape.

From the passenger seat, his backpack meows. A familiar black and brown head pokes out, the ratty collar still reading “Winnie.” Winnie, the reason he ran into that abandoned parking garage during a salvage mission in the first place.

Because she’s Duck’s cat, the one he thought he’d never see again after she fled out the door when the city evacuated. And Indrid loves Duck Newton more than anything in the world.

They’d been friends before everything went to hell, inching towards a confession of deeper feeling and Indrid still remembers the way his heart felt when he spotted Duck at the evac staging shelter. He hadn't even opened his mouth when Duck was hugging him, holding him tight and saying he was so fucking glad he was okay.

When three, then five, then ten infected humans burst in the evac center, Duck had Indrid’s hand they were running before almost anyone else knew what was happening, bandanas over their mouths because Josephs last message before the cell towers were overloaded was to keep their noses and mouths covered.

They made it, against all odds, out into the countryside, Thacker’s Quonset hut and Mama’s farmhouse as safe as they’d hoped. The others trickled in one by one or two by two; sometimes bringing other survivors with them. Other survivors found them later, though the humans they saw became fewer and fewer with each day.

Mama took in everyone who wasn’t infected, while Joseph, Dani, Duck and Thacker operated and sewed up the infected who could be saved (if removed before it takes over the host, the parasite will die when exposed to air). Those who could not were given choices; most chose a swift death, especially when they learned that dying before the parasites emerged would kill the alien inside them.

And every night, Indrid and Duck shared a small bed, clinging to each other and telling jokes or stories until they could sleep. Two months in, Duck kissed him in the dark and Indrid kissed back, and when Duck asked if it was only the end of the world driving Indrid’s affection, Indrid shook his head

“I’ve wanted this for awhile. And I don’t know what’s coming. All I know is I want to be with you when it does.”

At the front of the Winnebago Indrid wipes his eyes; what a foolish thing to say. He doesn’t want Duck here for this, that’s for damn sure, and yet he drives towards him anyway,

He’s feverish, sweat running down his face and arms shaking, and while his veins are still blue, he can see the parasite rippling under his skin; it’s not wasting any time.

He’s not going to make it. And if he tries, he’ll put all his friends in danger

There’s no choice but to pull to the side of the road a few miles from the farm and step from the trailer, leaving the door ajar so Winnie can escape into the wild. He’s crying all the while, breath coming in shaky gasps; just because he’s doing the right thing doesn’t mean he isn’t miserable and terrified.

Indrid pulls out his pistol. He won’t be an incubator, he won’t spread this, he won’t help the things that took so much of his world from him.

He won’t ever see Duck again.

He sobs, once, then wretches as the fever grows and his vision goes spotty. He has to do this, even though every time he looks at the weapon his whole body shakes with fear.

“‘Drid!”

Duck’s voice, just audible over the thrum of an engine. Then tires screech into view, Aubrey piloting a jeep. Duck jumps to the ground before she’s even stopped.

“‘Drid, don’t you fuckin dare-”

“Nono, stay back!” He scrambles on his hands and heels, slamming into the side of the trailer, “I got stung, I already have a fever, I can feel it moving-”

Duck drops to his knees, lifting Indrid’s glasses.

“Your eyes are still brown. It ain’t too late.”

“But the veins near the wound are going white” Joseph stands behind Duck, “we won’t be able to get him back in time.”

“Th-that’s why I pulled over, I, I can’t get the rest of you infected, please, please just go-”

“You got the field kit?”

Aubrey tosses it to Duck.

“We can still save you, sugar. And I’m sure as hell gonna fuckin try.”

Duck and Joseph haul him to his feet and carry him inside, laying him on his back on the table. Aubrey follows him, sitting down on one bench and taking his hand.

“We got no anesthetic, so this is gonna hurt like a motherfucker, but you can do it. Okay?”

Indrid nods weakly.

“We’re gonna get you through this. You’re” fear flickers across Duck’s face, “you’re gonna be okay.”

Aubrey braces Indrid’s upper body, Joseph his lower, as Duck cleans around the puncture in his stomach and sterilizes his tools. Aubrey holds up a hand,

“We need something for your mouth, right?”

“Good call” Duck retrieves a wooden spoon from a drawer, setting it between Indrid’s teeth.

“Okay” Duck takes a deep breath, meets Indrids eyes, “okay. I’m gonna start cuttin. Ready?”

Indrid just manages a thumbs up.

It hurts, because a blade cutting into your skin will always hurt. And because it hurts Indrid screams.

“That’s good” Joseph is trying to sound reassuring, but even he looks worried, “scream if you need to, research suggests it helps with the pain.”

“It’s not too deep, thank fuckin christ.”

Indrid stares at the ceiling and yells when Duck widens the incision.

“Almost can see ‘im. Yeah, there, he’s startin to shrivel already from the air.”

Relief mingles with the pain in his tears. Aubrey pets his head, “you’re gonna be okay, see?”

“C’mere you, you fuckin monster, you fuckin think you can take him from me” Duck hisses, then says gruffly, “Joe, need you to hold it open, go wash your hands.”

Once Joe is in position, there’s a horrible, wet sound as Duck places his hand inside.

Searing, blinding pain as he pulls the parasite free, Indrid’s blood running down Duck’s arms. He bites the wooden handle and it cracks. The creature wrinkles and dies in Duck’s hands and he hurls it outside.

“Shit, shit you’re bleeding a lot. Okay, fuck, okay, that was the hard part, this is just stitches. Just stitches.”

Indrid whimpers, clinging to Aubrey’s hand and scraping his nails against the formica table. Duck hits too deep on a stitch and Indrid winces and cries as his boyfriend curses.

“Here, Duck, trade with me.” Joe holds out his hand and Duck passes him the needle. The shorter man settles by Indrid, taking his other hand. He’s still bloodstained, and Indrid can feel him shaking, but he brings Indrid’s knuckles to his mouth and kisses his knuckles again and again.

“I’m here, darlin, I’m here, I got you, it’s almost over.”

Indrid focuses on his voice, pretends they’re in bed together, counts the kisses on his hand and wrist while the pain fades to the background. Dimly, around kiss number thirty-five, he hears Joseph sigh in relief.

“Done.”

--------------------------------------------------

Indrid curls up under the covers, clothes sticking to him with sweat and his stomach throbbing with pain.

“Easy, sugar, easy” Duck sits up from a makeshift bed on the floor, “here, lemme get you some painkillers.” He comes back with a glass of water and two white pills. Indrid swallows them, lets Duck help him from his shirt and wipe the sweat away with a cloth.

“How did you know to come look for me?”

“Just had a feelin. I kept lookin out at the road, saw the ‘Bago weavin, goin a million miles an hour, and just knew somethin was wrong.”

“Thank you. For coming for me.”

“I always will. Thanks for not deckin me or kickin me while I was workin on you.”

“Duck you saved my life, kicking would be rather rude.”

It’s a weak goof, but Duck smiles and kisses him.

“Oh, uh, here, someone else wants to say thanks.”

“Mraoow?” Winnie stares at him from Duck’s arms.

“We scared her burstin into the trailer. Poked her head out right after you passed out. So you, uh, missed me bawlin like a baby seein her again.”

“Awwww” Indrid rests his head on Duck’s shoulder, ruffling Winnie’s fluff.

“I mean, that and it hit me how close I came to losin you. Poor Aubrey was tryin to comfort me in the Jeep while Joe drove you back here in the ’Bago.”

Indrid strokes his cheek. He understands; the thought of never seeing Duck again was the worst thing to happen to him all day, sting included.

“Come to bed?”

“You sure? Might not be too comfortable.”

“I want to be held by you. I want to remember we’re both still here.”

Duck joins him under the blanket, Winnie curling up on their feet.

“Yeah, yeah we are. And I love you so goddamn much.”

“I love you too. And I promise to cut a parasite out of you if the need arises.”

“God I fuckin hope not.”

“Me too. There were...fewer of them this time. I think they may be dwindling.”

“Fingers crossed. But even if we got a long ways to go towards rebuildin a world, I still got you, and you still got me. And that’s worth a whole hell of a lot.”

Indrid kisses him, inhaling the smell of clean skin and scratching his cheek against Duck’s stubble.

“You’re right, my love. It is.”

#indruck #indrid cold/duck newton #taz amnesty #whump #reader requests #post apocalyptic au #body horror

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goldenfawnwriting · 4 years

Text

Birds of a Feather- pt 7 Hawks fic

Summary: Finch has a big decision to make and isn’t really sure what she wants. Will she choose to fly again? Or keep her normal life.

A/N: My cats are running wild right now and jumping on my keyboard lmao, anyway hope you guys like it!

Warning: a lil bit of angst sprinkled in there.

This was the third time today that Finch had zoned out at her desk and Hawks was beginning to be concerned.

“Finch!”

He called. Her eyes snapped over to him and he gave her a look.

“What are you thinking about?”

He questioned. She looked away shyly and he smirked. She was adorable when she got like that.

“I-I just don’t know what to do.”

His face dropped. He knew she was thinking about the surgery again. He thought she would’ve taken the opportunity immediately but he was wrong. He only hoped she would decide soon so that the commission wouldn’t move on and forget her. After everything he’d been through with the commission this was the only thing he was happy with them about.

He knew she would be amazing at a sidekick. She was alert at all times and could pick up on things he didn’t see immediately. She would be a great scout to fly above the city and pick out anything that looked suspicious with her super power eyesight. He was sure of it.

“Well, you already know what I think love. I think you’re overthinking it.”

He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, throwing his legs up on the desk top. Finch gave him a disapproving look before turning to her computer an starting to type.

“It’s just not that easy.”

“What do you mean Finch? You tell me all the time you would kill to fly and now that you’re being given the opportunity on a silver platter you don't want it?”

She was quick to respond, a bit offended.

“That’s not the issue Hawks, see you don’t understand at all.”

Hawks rolled his eyes from his spot across the room and groaned loudly as if to mock her.

“Hawks you’ve been great at your job since day one. Imagine someone coming along and saying hey we want you to do a different job that you have no experience with, all while recovering from a huge surgery and figuring out how to live your life all over again. How would that make you feel? I’ve been comfortable in my life for years now and you want me to flip it upside down?”

Hawks shrugged but gave it thought.

“I mean didn’t you do the same thing when you took the job being my personal assistant? You didn’t know anything about how or what to do you just learned along the way. Life is full of hardships Lovebird, but you have to deal with them in order to grow as a person.”

He paused before continuing.

“Imagine this, you fix your wings, become a sidekick for me, maybe even your own hero, eh? You save countless lives doing your job, instead of sending boring emails to other office workers who are all depressed and tired. You could be making a real difference out in the world instead of getting carpal tunnel and back issues.”

She could really feel his dislike for office jobs right then. She huffed as she shuffled the papers on her desk and grabbed the whiteout from her drawer.

“Im just saying, some people are built for certain jobs. I don’t know if hero work is really my niche...”

She trailed off as she fixed the hours on the students’ intern logs.

“You need to sign these by the way. You can’t tell me I’m not good at my job Hawks. You’re good at yours and I’m good at mine y’know...”

“Finch, babe, honey, sweetie,”

He started, coming over to where she was sitting to lean uncomfortably close to her as she put x’s where he needed to sign.

“If you never do anything scary in life you’ll never gain new skills or grow as a person. You have to shake it up sometimes.”

“Hawks this isn’t really a- sign there too- shake it up kind of thing. We’re talking huge surgery- and there.”

He huffed as he scribbled out his signature in different places before she threw them all into a manila folder labeled ‘STUDENT INTERN FORMS’ before she spun her chair around towards him to look him in the eye.

“Put yourself in my place for just a moment.”

“No, Finch I get it, it’s just you could be passing up something that could change your life and make it ten times better!”

He reasoned. She sighed and averted her eyes before he tilted her chin up with his finger, forcing her to look at him.

“Don’t let this be the biggest regret in your life all because you’re a little nervous about the details.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead before turning and making his way to the window.

“Anyway, I’m off to patrol, see ya baby bird~”

He purred before taking off. She was learning to resent the jealous pang in her chest when he did that. That could be her, she thought, sighing afterwards. She just didn’t know. What if she wasn’t any good at the hero thing? What if people died because of her messing up somehow? Would she be saving more lives staying at her office job compared to becoming a hero?

They were all questions she couldn’t answer as she sat back in her chair, slouching lazily. She just didn’t know, and the stress of figuring it out was killing her. Plus she didn’t even get to tell Hawks how she really felt, she kept pushing it off. But was now the right time? Would it mess up the dynamic they had? If she told him would it ruin the sidekick deal she was being offered?

The phone interrupted her with it’s shrill ringtone and she quickly picked it up.

“Pro hero Hawks’ office, this is his secretary Finch, how may I help you?”

“Kore!”

She jumped in surprise at Asami’s voice.

“Asami? You know you shouldn’t be calling me at work!”

She scolded. Asami giggled on the other side of the line.

“I was just calling to remind you to take a break and come get lunch with mee~”

She drew out the end and Finch sighed, rubbing her temples. Maybe she did need a little break, she wondered, biting her lip.

“Where were you wanting to meet?”

Sami hummed on the other end for the line before replying.

“Wanna just go to the hibachi down the road? Or sushi?”

“It’s all vegetables for me anyway Asami, it doesn’t matter.”

“Then sushi!”

She hung up the phone and Finch turned, clicking the phone to transfer any calls to her personal phone. Grabbing up her notebook, detailing Hawks’ to-do list, she made her way down and to the small sushi place a couple blocks down. When she finally neared it she waved to Asami, who was standing outside.

“Hey birdie! Long time no see!”

Finch giggled as Asami lead her inside. Once they were seated she spilled about the stress of trying to make a decision. Asami paused before replying.

“If you want my personal opinion, I think you should go for it. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity you may never get again Kore. And besides that, think about the monetary benefits. You’d live comfortably for the rest of your life.”

“Y’know it’s a serious surgery Asami-”

“But what will you lose? If it doesn’t work it doesn’t change what you have now, you’ll still be the same. There aren’t any negative consequences.”

Finch looked off before changing the subject.

“So what do I do about telling him my feelings then? what if he doesn’t want me to be a sidekick anymore? Or what if he fires me from the company completely?”

“Then don’t tell him. I mean, I think you should, you never know how he feels, but at the same time, it’s kinda risky now huh? Maybe you should put it off for a little longer.”

They were quiet the rest of lunch before Finch had to return to the agency, finally sitting down at her desk and slipping off her heels. She only wanted a moment of comfort before she slipped them back on, just a little break. As she replied to emails she made her mind up and when Keigo finally flew back through the window she was nearly busting at the seams. It was nearly sunset now, she had stayed after the end of the day jus to see him and tell him before she changed her mind.

“H-hawks!”

“Uh, hey lovebird, I didn’t think you’d be here so late.”

He greeted unenthusiastically. He seemed really tired.

“Uh... I just wanted to let you know I made up my mind..”

She blushed hotly and wrung her wrists. She should’ve just gone home and let him rest, it could’ve waited until tomorrow, she wasn’t so important that he couldn’t relax.

“You did?”

It was obvious he was trying to contain his hope. He was so excited and was hoping she’d tell him what he wanted to hear.

“Ya uh.. I’m gonna do it.”

She was immediately swept up into his arms, being swung back and forth as he hugged her. She squealed, her arms pinned to her sides by his strong biceps.

“M-Mister Hawks!”

He finally set her down, holding her at arms length and speaking fast.

“Oh my gosh, Finch you just made my night, I’ll let them know, I just have to call them!”

She tried to catch her breath from laughing at him, smoothing out her blouse.

“Ok, ok bird man, calm down...”

She grabbed her things and started making her way out to go home before she looked back over her shoulder at him.

“But just do you know I’m doing this for me ok? Not because you convinced me.”

She turned to go home then, making her way to the elevators. She didn’t want him to think she was only doing this because he had hounded her.

#hawks #keigo takami #bnha keigo #bnha hawks #bnha #mha hawks #mha

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faythelyse · 4 years

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Joji x Reader {female reader} Apocalyptic Setting <Part One>

The sound of your closest friends baby jolts you awake. You had fallen asleep sitting up in a chair near the window. You stand and stretch for a moment before walking into the kitchen. Jessica meets you at the doorway to the kitchen.

"We're officially out of food." She bounces her daughter on her knee.

"Alright, I'll grab Ashlee and we can hit that up this place we noticed coming back from our last haul. It looked like a department store or something. I have an extra cheese stick in my bag if Jade is hungry."

Jessica knods and sighs. You knew saving that cheese stick was a good call. After grabbing the snack for Jade you head to the garage where Ashlee was working on the truck we scored a few months ago. Ashlee notices you enter and slams her hand on the top. "We still need some gas for this bad boy!"

"No time like the present to go look for some?!" You add expecting a negative response.

Ashlees face turned sour. "We're out of food."

"Yep. You going."

"Well of course, but we just went on a trip 3 days ago. Those rations were supposed to last a week. Jess eats like a fucking pig." Ashlee starts throwing her gloves off onto the desk and prepares a bag for the emergency food trip we are underprepared for in all honesty.

"How much ammo do we have left?"

Ashlee sighs heavily "We were low last trip. We might have 5 or 6 shells left for the shotgun."

"And the handgun?" You interject.

"Fifteen." Ashlee finishes packing up leaving the shotgun for me to take. "I'm gonna take a smoke break. Meet me out front when your ready to roll." She puts the cigarette in her mouth and walks out.

Grabbing the gun you quickly head for your room to gather the essentials. Outside Ashlee was taking the last drag off her cigarette before flicking it to the road. I stare at the bikes in front of us wishing we had gas for the truck. "Jesus christ I hate these bikes, I'm wore out by the time we get to wherever we're going." Ashlee smiles. "Soon Y/N" Ashlee closes her eyes and daydreams for a moment. Imagining life with a car again.

About halfway there we stop and scout a bit. Make sure no one is out and about before we pull closer into this town.

Right on the edge of town we leave our bikes locked to a tree behind a small abandoned house. It was a soft pink color. It somewhat stood out making it easier to remember where we left our things. We chat quietly while making our way to a large department store.

The store was huge. The sign had fallen partially. A corner of the building was also caving in. Jessica, never going out on many supply trips didn't always realize the danger she put Ashlee and I in on a somewhat regular basis. Although we have become better at it over time.

As we arrived at the doors we became silent. Searching for any possible noises or animals that could get us in worse trouble than we were already putting ourselves in. Instead of going in through the front we found a side door that appeared quieter to open. Upon entering we were stunned to see lots of stuff still on the shelves. Why had this store not been hit so badly by looters. Shocked by the nostalgia and childlike joy we let our gaurd down. We casually walked down aisles and shared past memories that seemed insignificant then. We would give anything to be able to visit a store normally again. Buy a new dress to wear for date night or some shit.

"Holy shit, they have mother fucking WINE!!!"

Ashlee was almost in tears, and I couldn't contain my smile. We packed as many as we could. We still needed room for actual food.

Just then we both heard a single gunshot so we dropped immediately to the floor as quickly as possible. Readying our guns we slowly get up and sneak closer to the back of the store where the gun had fired. There is a hallway that leads back to the bathrooms and what I assume might be the head office or the workers lounge area. We see a shadow at first emerging from the hallway. We aim thinking it could be one of the infected, but it was just a man. He pulled out a walkie telling someone on the other end he's fine. Ashlee and I are frozen for a minute. We hadn't seen people in a long time. Hell it's even been awhile since we've seen an infected. They have been sparce lately. Probably just spreading out more. Although we weren't a very populated area anyway. Ashlee whispers "What do we do, ignore them?" I shrug not knowing myself. It would be risky to assume they are friendly. And if they were to rob us we would be left with nothing. Another man runs up, he has a large backpack on. Ashlee and I locked eyes for a moment. We had the same idea to potentially rob this man. I shake my head. "Maybe they will trade?" I whisper.

Ashlee shakes her head in disbelief that they would consider trading. We had not glanced back at the men for a minute, when we turned back to check on them they were gone. I turn back and shrug, if they were gone then we had no further issue. Ashlee and I nod knowing we should get a move on and wrap this up before we get spotted. While crouching we slowly walk around the nearest aisle where we are met face to face with the two men we had just spotted. Both shocked we all immediately stand, but none of us draw a weapon. After a solid 30 seconds of no speaking just staring I speak up

" We really just need to grab some food, we won't be any trouble." It was then that I noticed one of them was injured.

"You're hurt?" I said softly. Ashlee also softened her expression when she noticed the wound. Ashlee broke her silence as well, "Y/N is a healer of sorts, maybe we can help."

Ashlee and I are both suckers for wanting to help. The man with big sad brown eyes looked at me with some hope.

"Can you really hel-ehp" he stopped abruptly and grabbed the wound on his side that started to soak through his thick green coat. I couldn't tell the severity of it, I didn't want him to die though, so in the moment I just decided to say yes. His friend went alongside him to help support him. "My name is Ben" He proceeded to shake Ashlees hand and then my own. "This is George, nice to meet you. We were here looking for medical supplies, if you could help us out we would pay you back some how. Whatever you need, I promise. We'll work it off."

"I'm not a real doctor or anything man. I just started learning this stuff since the world went to shit. I've practiced on dogs, and cats, a few humans. Nothing too crazy. I've become pretty decent at sew up jobs. I just promise to do my best to help. If something goes wrong I just cant have you blaming me."

Ben smiled "Listen, its not like im going to find some heart surgeon out here. Anything you can do to help is better than whatever I could come up with."

Ashlee walks up to the other side of George and throws his arm over her neck. "I'll help walk him to the bikes."

I nod and quickly grab everything i can that is edible, even found a few seed packets. Elena will be stoked to add these to her garden.

We biked back to our little community that cosisted of 2 houses that have been conjoined by fencing in the two. Its somewhat protected by being hidden in the many trees that surround our community.

Jessica was sitting smoking outside. As she saw us pull up with two strangers she looked worried. I held up my hand to show her everything was okay and waved. We brought George in and laid him in a spare room we had set up for me to work on anyone who had been hurt. There was no bed, only a futon mattress had been laid on the floor.

"Set him down gently." Ben whispered.

Ashlee had a worried expression, I could tell she was worried about the blood loss. He appeared paler than before. I sat down and started preparing my equipment as fast as possible and urged Ashlee to grab some other things I needed.

As I neared being finished with sterilizing the needle I told everyone to leave the room. I can never concentrate while people watch. I had assumed George was knocked out when I reached down to start removing his jacket he grabbed my wrist.

"This is going to fucking hurt isn't it." He breathed. I nodded. I had nothing to numb him. Then I remembered the extra wine Ashlee and I had discovered. We had grabbed six bottles. I pulled out a bottle and handed it to George. He glanced it over.

"For the pain?"

"For the pain." I said as took it back from him to open it. After opening I asked if he would like a cup.

"Bottles fine, lets get this over with." He started to shrug off his jacket exposing the large gash on his side. Hopefully he hadn't punctured an organ or something I couldn't fix.

He took 3 large drinks and motioned for me to come to him. I started cleaning the wound to the best of my ability with what we had. It was time to start sewing. Sewing still makes me nervous.

I was ready to pierce skin when he interrupted.

"Do you have anything to bite on?"

I took the belt that was around my waist wrapped it up and handed it to him. He bit down and nodded to show he was ready.

I started and his eyes rolled back into his head, I kept going. I wanted this to be over as fast as possible. He started making a few small shrieks here and there but he was toughing it out rather well I thought.

As I was getting to the last few stitches his hand found my leg and grabbed it tightly. I felt horrible for causing him so much pain.

I started to just mumble I'm sorry over and over again until I had finally finished. His head fell back onto the pillow in exhaustion and agony. I leaned up and pressed my hand to his forehead and face and apologized some more. Trying to gauge how well he was actually doing. I stopped myself and realized I needed to finish by covering it with a bandage. I grabbed clean cloth from the cabinet and bandaged him. I look at him for a moment. I should grab his friend and let him know I've finished. He probably wants to wait with him until he wakes up. As I struggle to stand back up George's hand grabs mine and squeezes. I squeeze back giving him reasurrence, and leave to confront everyone.

Ben steps up to me immediately as i exit the room.

"What's the damage, is he cool? Are we good?"

I could tell he was nervous about the answer.

"I'm not sure yet honestly, he's all stiched up. He's also still alive and lucid which is a good sign. It's going to take a long time to heal. Maybe a month or two. It also needs to stay clean and free of infection. I recommend staying here until he's fully healed. Ben seemed pleased with my answers "Can I go see him now?" I nodded and he rushed in.

Ashlee pulled me to the side. "You reccomend they stay for two months?"

"Yes, that was my recommendation. He was hurt prerty bad, he shouldn't be moving at all for atleast 3 weeks. I think we should just chill. As long as he heals well, we could use their help."

Ashlee crosses her arms. "This is risky, but Im with you. It's nice to have new faces around."

"I agree" I smile, feeling slightly better that I may have saved someone's life.

#jojixreader #x reader #fanfiction #joji #f #female reader

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jaehoneey · 5 years

Text

Best

» series: secret relationship au

» jisung x reader

» fluffy, angsty, a lil dirty

» setting: modern korea

» warnings: mentions of drugs, firearms, and a heck lotta pain

» im so sorry this is so long i dont know what came over me

The sixth time you fell in love, you wished you could turn things around.

Your sixth life was quite similar to your third, your lifetime with Changbin. You were in a gang once again, and this time, you had the upper hand.

You joined your dad when he would go to meetings or dealings, with his constant reminder that you’ll be the one handling the deals soon. You would also join your other dad-- who’d rather be called “daddy”-- when he would go on jobs that required dirty work, with his constant reminder that you need to defend yourself as well.

Currently, you were in the shooting range, trying on the new leather gloves they had given you. They were black and a perfect fit on you, you smiled as you reached out to take a handgun, then checked to see how quickly you could reload the magazine. When you felt that it was just as fast, maybe even faster, you couldn’t help but let the corners of your mouth lift up.

“Y/n, you’re here.”

You turned your head as you put the gun back down to the table. “Yes dad, I wanted to try the gloves out.”

“And?”

“They’re lovely,” you praised as you looked at your hands again, “I feel amazing wearing them.” You looked up at him and slightly tilted your head. “But you never go here. Daddy does that. So why are you here, dad?”

He chuckled pleasantly. “You caught me there, darling,” he then moved aside to reveal a boy behind him, who seemed to be admiring the range, “I was showing our new recruit around.”

You blinked as you focused on the boy, who had just realized that the older man was talking about him, so he stopped looking around, looked at you, then bowed.

Your dad chuckled again. “This is my daughter, Y/n. Y/n, meet the new recruit, Han Jisung,” the said boy bowed again, “he’ll be helping with the weapons and hacking. Feel free to show him around later on.”

“But you’re already doing that.” You pointed out.

“I only have so much time on my hands, I can’t show him everything I have to.”

“Alright, dad, as you wish.”

“Now,” your dad turned and he placed a hand on Jisung’s shoulder, “you’ve seen where we use the guns. It’s about time you saw where we keep them.”

Days passed, and you realized earlier on why your parents had chosen to recruit Jisung; his skills were remarkable.

He could dissemble a gun as quickly as you could normally breathe, he could hack even if his eyes weren’t trained on the screen, and lastly, hell, he was one good kisser.

“Jisung,” you breathed out, “we can’t.”

“Princess, please,” he growled, “your parents are out, and for the first time, as you said, they didn’t take you with them. You should try and relax. Let me relax you.” He chuckled softly before nipping on your skin again.

“Jisung!”

Three days after that night, your parents decided to bring you both out to dinner, saying it was a celebration for Jisung’s official welcome to the family.

“Now,” your daddy started as he sipped on the wine, “Jisung, tell us, do you have a boyfriend? We could bring him in as well.”

Jisung’s eyes widened and you did your best to not snap your eyes towards him. “N-no sir,” he cleared his throat, “no boyfriend, sir.”

“Oh?” Your dad seemed intrigued. “But with a face like that? No boyfriend?” Jisung shook his head. “Why?”

“No time,” he replied cooly, “I was busy training and going with Mr. Kim to meetings to get me scouted.”

Your dad hummed. “I’m glad I scouted you. A shame for others, really, they didn’t discover a diamond in the rough.”

Jisung slightly bowed his head in acknowledgment, saying a brief thank you. Then your parents focused on you.

“As for you, our sweet daughter, we have set up a blind date for you.”

You choked on your food and you immediately reached out for your water, drinking it in one go. You focused on your parents with stinging eyes.

“A- a what?”

“A blind date,” your daddy simply stated as he took a bite of the steak, “I know we haven’t been letting you off lately, and we feel bad about it. Besides, it’s about time you meet someone. She’s a good girl, and her father could be a potential ally.”

“You don’t have to marry her,” your dad quickly intervened, seeing the look on your face, “just let her father see your skills, he’ll come to us.”

You hummed as you nodded, knowing that there was no way out.

As they talked among themselves, you and Jisung shared a nervous glance. You were both straight, if that night didn’t make it clear already, and it still seemed that if you came out straight in this society, you’re a dead man, and woman, walking.

So the night before your blind date, Jisung had snuck in your room. You two were on the bed, your head resting on his lap as he played with your fingers. He seemed to be nervous, tense even, and you didn’t ask him why, knowing that he’d bring it up in his own time.

“Do you think you’ll like her?” He asked softly. “Your blind date. Do you think you’ll like her?”

You blinked as you looked away from your intertwined hands and focused on his face to see that his eyes were still looking at your hands.

“Ji,” you called out, “Ji, look at me.” (Look at me, please, look at me.)

He did, and you felt your heart break, his eyes were glossy, the tears weren’t there yet, but they soon would be.

“Jisung,” you cooed as you slowly stood up, never letting go of his hand even as you faced him, “if you think we’re doing this just because there’s no one around for me, then you’re wrong. I’ve known, for the longest time, and I’m sure that I’m straight. The world outside doesn’t know it, but I know it. The world wouldn’t accept me, but I still stand for it. So no, I’m not going to like her, Jisung, because I already like you.”

His tears had started to fall and you brought your free hand up to caress his cheek, wiping away the tears.

“Y/n,” he said softly, “I’m sorry. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m sorry for doubting you.”

“Don’t be,” you kissed his nose, “don’t be.”

Your parents’ plan had worked perfectly. You met the girl, she brought you to their house because the father had wanted to meet you. There he tested your skills in fighting, in wits, and in difficult times of communication. Unsurprisingly, he was impressed, and now he was meeting your parents.

“Mr. Kwon, a pleasure.” Your dad greeted.

“Oh, please, Mr. l/n, the pleasure is all mine.” Mr. Kwon had chuckled. “I see that our daughters have gotten along very well.”

“Indeed, they have,” your dad nodded, “please, take a seat.”

And just like that, a new alliance was formed.

You eventually came out to Kwon’s daughter, saying that you didn’t want to lead her on, and she understood. She said that she could tell, seeing as how Jisung would watch your every move, always in a stance to come to your heed, if needed, and she said that it was safe, because she was, too.

This would lead to you lying to your parents and so would she. You would say that you were going to meet her, but you would meet Jisung in a place you two had found not too long ago; an abandoned treehouse. You two fixed it up, made it more comfortable on the inside, and it was there that you would go to whenever you needed an escape.

There was one night however, you wish you had asked him to escape with you.

It was three in the morning and you had come home from being cooped up in the treehouse. When you put your house key in the lock, you realized that it wasn’t needed: the door wasn’t locked. As you turned the knob, you placed your hand on the hilt of your dagger, which was hidden in the inside pocket of your coat, and when you stepped in, the only light on was that in the living area.

You approached it carefully, not knowing what to expect, and when you stepped into the living area, you released your hold on the dagger.

“D-daddy,” you stuttered out, “what’s going on?”

“Our family member here,” he seethed as he pulled on Jisung’s hair, “is a traitor.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach. “How?”

Your dad took a drag from his cigarette as he waved an envelope in the air. “Darling, do you know what’s in this envelope?” You shook your head. “Our passwords, our information, our future plans. Photographs of things we do inside and outside of this establishment, things that could end us all in jail.” He blew out the smoke with a sigh. “All in a pen drive.”

You approached your dad and took the envelope, wanting to see it for yourself. You opened it and saw that it was true, there was a pen drive inside, accompanied by a written letter. You took it out and skimmed through it; he was a traitor.

Your daddy sighed as he pushed Jisung’s head before letting go, earning a small groan from the boy. Your jaw clenched slightly as you looked at Jisung and approached him. You wanted to say so many things, you wanted to tell him that he could plead for his life, but you knew you couldn’t. Your parents never gave second chances.

You then approached the source of light, the fireplace, and threw the envelope in. Jisung struggled against his restraints as he watched them go up in flames, but what hurt him most was the fact that your eyes seemed to hold the flames as well. When you faced him again, he wanted to scream out that he was sorry. He knew that you had so many questions, about him, about you two. He wanted to tell you that it was real, that he really did like you, that falling for you was not something he had planned. That if there was one thing that was real in this whole act, it was his feelings for you.

“I think you should finish the job, darling,” your daddy stated as he handed a gun to you, “send them information that his job is done.”

You didn’t know what you were doing. You grabbed the gun, but you didn’t know it. It was like someone else had controlled you. It was like you weren’t you.

You stepped in front of Jisung, raised the gun, and clicked the safety off, resting your finger on the trigger. You looked at him with such cold eyes, he knew that he was done for.

“If you want to say something, say it now.” You spat him.

“Y/n,” he whimpered, tears falling, heart breaking, “you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

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shitty-tf2-headcanons · 5 years

Note

Mercs with a girlfriend whos autistic and has body stims, and is insecure about it? Specifically rocking and chewing? Maybe include them catching her rocking while she was alone or seeing maybe one two many chewed up bottle caps or plastics in the trash? As you can tell im self indulgent and I like comfort

Ayy there ain’t nothing wrong with being self indulgent, self indulgence is why I created this blog. And hey, who doesn’t like comfort? Being comforted is like the 2nd best feeling in the world.

Scout- He doesn’t know why he looked. Something in his gut told him...but that doesn’t make any sense to him. Why would a gut feeling tell you to look in a trash bin and pick up a green bottle cap. It looked chewed to all hell. Teeth marks littered the small piece of plastic. Another one was pulled out at random. A yellow cap with the same marks. Rooting the trash revealed more and more chewed up caps. He wasn’t confused or upset. He was more...curious than anything. He decided that the best way to sate this curiosity was to talk to her directly. He tells her that he found the bottle caps and he of course panics when she looks just as panicked as him.

“No no i-it’s okay! I chew on my pencils sometimes! And-And I chew on my fingernails! Look look, see? You don’t have to feel b-bad...”

The bandages are peeled off his hands to reveal red nail bitten fingers. He tries to joke that at least chewing on caps doesn’t lead to an infection...he hopes anyway. He doesn’t want you to feel ashamed about the way she is. If he mocked her for chewing on plastic, he might as well wear a sign that says “BIG FREAKING HYPOCRITE”. He always makes sure to remind her she has nothing to hide from him.

Soldier- He’s caught her a couple of times. He’s seen her rocking in their bedroom and sometimes the rec room. She always seemed to do it alone though. Soldier was never known for his wits or intelligence. No, this man is famous in the team for jumping to conclusions. Once he saw you rock again, he thought back to his time with Merasmus. The wizard sometimes rocked in a similar manner...was his girlfriend a wizard too? Was this some sort of summoning ritual? But what would she be summoning? Aha! A warm blooded American like her (he thinks this even if she’s not American) must be summoning the spirit of George Washington! The next time he catches sight of her rocking, he busts right in and take a seat next to her. Not noticing the panicked look on your face, he copies your rocking movement. She asks him what he’s doing. He, of course, tells her that he’s helping her summon the ghost of George Washington. She then has to explain to him what stimming is.

“Oh. This is...stimming. Can we still try to summon George Washington?”

She tells him that they can try and he is beyond excited to see George again. Her rocking doesn’t bother him, it never bothered him to begin with. To him, it’s just something she does. Nothing to feel bad about. Though he promises to beat the crap out of this “Insecurity” she keeps talking about. She has nothing to worry about when around her Soldier (though she still worries he somehow summoned Washington without her knowing).

Pyro- At first, they didn’t think much of it. So she liked to chew on bottle caps, that wasn’t a big deal at all. They remember all sorts of weird things they used to chew on as a kid. Rubber, hair, plastic, nails, etc. You name it, they chewed on it. They’re about to move past it when they realize something else. All that chewing eventually lead them to chewing on more meaty parts of their body, like their arms and hands. What if...what if she was doing that too? The thought of their girlfriend harming herself brought tears to their eyes. His girlfriend was in for quite a shock when Pyro burst through their door, sobbing loudly behind their mask. They gesture for her to hold her arms out and she obliges. They check her arms and let out an audible sigh of relief when her arms looked to be bite free. His girlfriend asks him what all this was about. Pyro pulled out one of her chewed up caps, though they quickly put it away when they saw the look of shame and embarrassment. They explained (or mumbled rather) that they used to do the same thing, so they understand why she would feel embarrassed and insecure. Pyro reassures her as long as she’s not hurting herself, she’s perfectly fine. They even collect clean bottle caps and give it to her as a little gift.

Demo- He sees her doing it. It’s stimming, right? He sure hope it is, he remembers some of the kids from his orphanage were autistic too. He was even friends with a few of them. They used to do the same thing, rocking and such. He used to laugh about it, it was a little funny to watch honestly, but he quickly realized his mistake when they made an even bigger effort to hide from him. He admits he could be a shitty little kid sometimes. So it’s not surprising that he feels like that guilty little kid again. Why does she feel insecure about it? Did somebody say something? He just sighs and takes a sip of scrumpy. He can’t have his fav lass feeling so down around him or anyone. So he walks into the room, right when she was in the middle of rocking, and takes a seat next to her. He sighs and slowly grabs her hand, squeezing gently

“Aye lass...ya know I love ya, right? Nothing ya do is ever gonna change that.”

He’s not going to make her stop. It helps her with her emotions, right? So why make her stop doing something that’s beneficial to her? Plus, just like when he was a kid, it’s going to make him chuckle sometimes. He’s obviously not going to say it aloud but it’s funny to watch. But also calming in a way. Just watching you rock puts him in a state of tranquility.

Heavy- He keeps finding soda caps in the trash. They always appear to be chewed on? He’s confused to say the least. Is somebody so hungry that they resort to eating plastic? Why though...there’s plenty of food on the base. He considers leaving out sandviches for this mysterious chewing person. He’ll do that later. Maybe his girlfriend might know something. He presents her with a few chewed up caps and asks her if she knows something. The look on her face simultaneously breaks his heart and strikes fear in it. Oh no he made a mistake, here here, just take $7000, go shopping, please don’t be sad. He’s gonna go to Medic and ask him about it. He’s gonna feel like a big insensitive idiot when the doctor explains to him that she’s simply stimming. Oh, that makes sense. He’s gonna bashfully approach her and apologize for making her feel a certain way.

“Am sorry for embarrassing you. Heavy did not understand. This...stimming...is fine. You are fine.”

He wish he could say more but his English is still in need of work. He just wants you to be comfortable and happy. If that means chewing on bottle caps, go right ahead. Heavy does not judge. He may even give her some bottle caps if she wants some. Anything for his beloved.

Engineer- Dad mode activated. Is she okay? Is something wrong? Seeing her rocking alone is immediately gonna worry him. He has a vague idea of stimming and autism since a few of his classmates and cousins were autistic. Though he only really saw them do it when they were overwhelmed and that worried him. She’s overwhelmed, isn’t she? Well that won’t do at all. Cue the montage. This man is gonna do everything in his power to make you comfortable. Dim the lights, quietly berate the team for making too much noise, make the team dinners into something you like all the time. Engie is nice and all but everyone (gf) can see something is bothering him. His gf is probably gonna have to confront him. He’s gonna look embarrassed and try to make it seem like something isn’t wrong. But, being the honest good boi he is, he’s gonna crack and admit the truth.

“I see you rocking sometimes. I know you’re different and all but are you okay? I just want you to feel at home in the base here, honey bee.

That’s when she’s gonna have to explain to him how stimming works. Yes, she does it do because she’s overwhelmed, but she also does it when she’s feeling a strong emotion. It’s calming for her. Engie is gonna be both relieved and happy when he hears that it’s a calming mechanism for her. But he’s gonna be worried again when she admits that she’s insecure about it. Insecure? Why should she feel bad about something that makes her feel better? Either way, he doesn’t want his love to feel bad anyway. So she’s gonna have to deal with his constant reminders that he loves her and his constant feats to make her comfortable in the presences of the public and himself.

Medic- Oh, she’s stimming. He isn’t surprised considering she’s autistic. He already kinda knew she was autistic after the first few days of knowing her. He is a doctor, after all. A crazed one but not a dumb one. So he’s okay with her chewing. But he’s really not okay with her chewing on bottle caps of all things! Gott, doesn’t she know how dirty these cheap factory made caps are?! Think of all the germs!! Their wearing down her precious teeth!!! Ahem, as a semi professional doctor, he doesn’t scream these complaints at her. Rather, he tells her out of nowhere while he’s working that he knows about her cap chewing.

“Those caps of yours carry so many germs, mäuschen, you don’t vant a dirty mouth, do you? Not to mention that they wear down you’re lovely teeth.”

He says it so calmly and offhandedly that it’s easy to assume that he doesn’t care that much or he’s insulting you. Quite the contrary, he cares very much about matters that concern your health. He doesn’t mean to sound mean. Plus, he does show he cares when he gets you a couple of chewy toys or items, ones that won’t wear down your teeth. Wait you’re insecure about your stimming? Now you’re just being irrational. It’s completely natural for someone like her. How can he shame you for stimming, he would have to admit he has failed as a doctor and boyfriend if he did such a thing. He encourages you to stim with the items he bought you.

Sniper- Growing up in the middle of nowhere with two parents and spending most of his life in near isolation, he’s not gonna know much about autism. Least of all what stimming is. So he’s not gonna judge her for her behavior or mannerisms. That’s just how some people are, can’t really do much when it comes to how people’s minds work. He’s caught her rocking sometimes. Though he only sees her doing when she thought he was asleep or in the other room. Ah, he figures that it’s something she likes to do in her private time. Perfectly understandable. So he just pretends he doesn’t see anything and just moves on with life. Though there comes the day when he accidentally walks in on her rocking. They both freeze and just stare at each other. The look on her face reminds her of his own face when’s been caught pissing in jars or baby talking a cute stray. Shame and embarrassment. He closes the door and just isolates himself. He embarrassed her. He loathes embarrassment and he just hates himself for just making her feel that way. After returning from his self banishment, he’s gonna immediately apologize.

“Mmm sorry...didn’t mean to barge in on your personal space, roo. Wasn’t thinking straight...”

Whether or not she tell him what stimming is, he’s gonna respect her privacy. He’ll leave the room if she starts stimming or stay out if she is stimming. It’ll always be “her” private activity so he’s not gonna invade her privacy. He’ll gladly stay if she says it’s okay for him to stay with her. He knows that she’s insecure about it and he understands completely, he’s one of the most insecure people on the team. To combat her insecurity, he’ll chase everyone out of the room if she needs to stim or remind her that you just do you.

Spy- He’s not gonna actively root through some trash Scout but he does notice some chewed up caps. He’ll raise an eyebrow. Well, sees like someone on the team has a bit of a chewing problem. He’s willing to bet that it’s either Scout or Pyro. Being the nosy bitch he is, he’s gonna pay extra close attention to his team. His girlfriend isn’t safe from his snooping either. He quickly learns it’s her when he’s cloaked and he catches her chewing on some bottle caps in the (supposed) privacy of her room. He watches her for a bit before slinking out the room. He doesn’t tell. Of course he doesn’t. But he does want to talk to her. He’s just not sure what to say. He’s not bothered by her chewing, it’s just another special little quirk of hers. He’s mostly worried that confronting her about it will lead to her getting emotional and he’s just not ready to handle that. But he sometimes say things that hints that he knows about her stimming.“Mon amour, do you want me to buy you something from the grocery store? Some water bottles, perhaps? Or some sweets, maybe?”She shouldn’t be too surprised when she sees that some brand new chewy items have been left in her room. If she doesn’t use the items as left, then she’s gonna find a stack of bottle caps. The caps look and smell cleaned? It’s obvious who's leaving these gifts around. To help with her insecurity, she’s gonna be receiving a lot more soft kisses that seem to last longer than usual. Still insecure? He must buy more of what she wants and needs.

Miss Pauling- She’s rarely home long enough to catch her stimming. She usually comes in, gives her a quick kiss, drinks some coffee, and is out to work again. So her girlfriend can stim all she wants in the safety and privacy of her home. Pauling is well aware of stimming so she already knows her girlfriend stims. But she does find it a little odd that she never sees her stimming in front of her. But she doesn’t dwell on that thought too long since she needs to focus on the work at hand. She only catches her gf in the act when she finally gets her yearly day off. She stumbles into the house in the dead of night, ready to crash and enjoy the day sleeping and cuddling her girl. She walks into the room and sees her rocking. At any other time, she would sit and talk with her. But now? She was already half asleep and didn’t fully comprehend the gravity of the situation or how embarrassed her girlfriend looked. She just sleepily mumbled.“Sorry babe, did I interrupt...I’m so tired. Come lay with me please...I wanna lay in those soft arms forever...”She’s gonna hit the bed and pass right out, whether or not she was in her girlfriend’s arms. She only realizes everything in the morning. She’s kinda embarrassed about how she acted. But at least she got to see you stim! But she looked embarrassed...was that why she did it alone. Then she feels shitty for interrupting. She doesn’t feel the need to talk with her about it. She just lays with her on the couch all day and watches whatever she likes. She’s a lot more affectionate with her that, but only if her girlfriend is okay with it. When she’s busy at work, she’ll make sure to leave little cheesy love notes everywhere. And her short breaks are spent in her girlfriend’s arms. She loves her for who she is.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 imagines #tf2 scout #tf2 solider #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 miss pauling #asks

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webcricket · 5 years

Text

Winter’s Eye

Pairing: AU!CastielXReader Word Count: 1560 (Ch. VII) Story Summary: Season 13 canon tells you how AU!Castiel’s story ends, this is how it begins. The deranged and damaged iteration of Castiel we met in the apocalypse universe - an obedient soldier to Michael’s cause barely in control of his vessel’s frayed and erratically firing nerves whose inherent kindness toward humankind appeared entirely obliterated - wasn’t always an unfeeling angelic weapon of interrogation. Once, he sympathized with the plight of humans; one, he loved. Outlined for 10 chapters (although, my muse is bad at maths and these things have a way of multiplying). Chapter Summary: As the connection between Cas and the reader finds firmer footing, a link from his past arises to threaten them both.

Previous Chapter: VI

VII.

“Are you kidding me?” The question explodes in a puff of breath on the frozen air; before you unfolds a pristine island of black tarvia, the filtered sun beating down on it with enough heated force to melt the snow anywhere pavement touches. Parking spaces outlined in regular intervals of yellow striping, and a handful of abandoned vehicles, radiate from the mountainous façade of a Mega-Mart.

Surveying the scene through the squinted blue optics of his vessel, Cas casts you a curious knotted-brow glance from where stands at the edge of where forest rings this convenient miracle of civilization seemingly constructed in the middle of nowhere. “Is something funny to you?” he asks, looking between you and a building too empty and too quiet for his instincts to trust; out here you’re exposed - a living breathing target unprotected by a buffer zone of wooded isolation – and he doesn’t like it one iota.

“No-” you laugh, further confusing his brow with the conflict inherent between your answer and attitude- “I guess I was expecting a rinky-dink general store fronting a small town main street. Not this-” You gesture at the looming building, a wonderland promising to contain anything and everything your heart could possibly desire and more. More, that is, beyond the surprise solace of sharing a cabin with your very own personal overly protective angel, of course.

“There is a highway not far from here, and a town like you describe – one whose populace was decimated by werewolves and worse. It’s not safe there or here,” he says gravely. And yet here you are, allowed to tag along against his better judgement because, in a moment of weakness of reason, he let an inexorably extant and angelically errant emotion of fondness for you overrule his head.

“We should hurry-” haste propels his feet forward; he curls a beckoning arm backward- “Stay close.”

You obey, legs scissoring at a trot to try to keep step with his purposeful stride. On level ground, it’s even more punishing a pace than the hike that hurried you here. Feeling the bite of blisters forming on the boney points of your heels and on the tops of your toes, you make note on your mental shopping list to search for a pair of better fitting boots and Band-Aids.

As you thoughts wander, he begins to outpace you. “Hey, where’s the fire?” you pant across the growing gap of distance.

Gradually getting the gist that not all questions you pose want answering given he observes no indications of a blaze in the immediate vicinity, he ignores the query, but not the subtext of comment on his speed, and slows until you catch up.

Approaching the sliding glass doors of the entrance, he notes they are intact and locked just as he last left them. A scattering of stone spilling outward from the threshold, not so accidental as it appears, lies undisturbed.

Strategically speaking, this would be the easiest egress for an intruder to gain entrance inside. The rear and side admittances are steel, chained, and padlocked. Still, with you to watch over, he does not permit these subtle reassurances to soothe his caution.

A flick of two fingers to focus his grace frees the dead bolt. He pries the doors apart with brute strength just far enough to permit you both to squeeze through. On last look out at the parking lot as he secures the doors shut, his regard is drawn heavenward to the horizon to a solitary silvery vapor streaking the otherwise uniformly tarnished gold glow of the sky – a wisp of airy nothingness so slim as to barely be noticed and the sort of smoky linear disturbance a plane would create in its wake as it passed - a contrail disturbing the pressure of the low atmosphere.

Except there are no planes, and there hasn’t been anything save the bodily bound bombs of angels skimming the firmament in flight - or, like him, falling in a smoldering ruin of fate - since the day Michael donned a crown formed by the flayed flesh and bone and souls of billions of humans and the emptied glory of the thousand and more angels who opposed him and whose snuffed existence stains, in a bloodied shadow of once brilliant light, Castiel’s hands.

In the seconds he spends considering the cloud, it dispels in a freshet of cool wind. It wouldn’t make sense, angels scouting here where there is nothing. They’ve done with him, banished him to dwell in and on his defeat, and ever since he etched a warding sigil upon the curved carriage of your ribs, they cannot so much as sense you exist.

Besides, with what you’ve told him of the holdouts of human resistance groups, why waste heavenly resources hunting one human in a haystack of the wild when bigger targets persist.

The tear of a candy bar wrapper loudly resonates in the benumbed and stagnant space; the crumpling of plastic and crunch of chocolate crust is swallowed up as eagerly by the silence as your gullet.

“I missed these,” you mumble and moan in immodest taste bud titillating pleasure around a mouthful of melted sugary goodness as his gaze rounds to seek out the source of the sound.

“Shh-” he scolds; the grit of worry in the warning hushes you instantly.

Terror tightens your throat so that you cannot swallow the amalgam of sugar and saliva held amid your teeth and tongue. Heart seizing, then pounding with such ferocity each ferried beat of fear shudders your frame, bits of brown moisture ooze at the trembling corners of your clinched jaw.

In the depths of the store, somewhere down a darkened aisle, winding to reach his celestially superior discernment, a soft scraping of fabric and rubber soles, slightly sticky on the tiled floor despite the feather-lightness of the footsteps, faintly perforates the calm.

Lashes widened in alarm quickly narrow again in a lethality of resolve; an inner luminance of blue burns in his searching gaze as he shifts a few steps into the eerie fringes of where the window light bleeds into the dimness. When he shakes his sleeve, you see a glint of metal flash into his grip.

Adrenaline opens up your veins and, also oiling your muscles to fight or flee from this place, it permits you to thickly and audibly gulp the wad of partially chewed chocolate nougat.

He extends the hand unburdened by a blade out at you, a movement meaning to say that you should do neither and duck out of sight behind the register.

You misread the purely practical physicality of his request and instead cede to the instinctive tug at your emotions to meet his fluttering fingers halfway, meshing yours into the warm sanctuary of their apertures and securing your other arm through the crook of his elbow to flatten his entire weaponless limb to your chest.

To say the action – a clingy suggestion of deeply rooted trust, concern, and consequently of a firm belief in his ability to shield you in the face of danger - catches him off guard would be an understatement.

However, with a hiss of his name in a tone familiar to him as that of his unwaveringly loyal lieutenant and sister – Rachel – slicing through the dark loud enough, even, for you to hear the anger and resentment whetting the knife of feminine voice, he has no time to analyze the exhilarating effect your embrace and corporal nearness exerts upon his being, nor does he permit more than a speck of added anxiety to alter the determination of his affect.

Pivoting, his typically stony rigidity a balletic display of swiftness, grace, and fluid urgency, he covers your mouth, pins you flush against the waist-high wall of the register, and very briefly steals your breath in the press of his hips against yours. The dynamism of his blues, desperately sparking hue dancing less than an inch from your flared lids, implores you to stay there no matter what happens.

He’s certain she heard you - can hear the wild banging of pulse within your body just as clearly as he can – she is, after all, an angel, and a sometime ally sympathetic to humanity who is not as dead as he presumed and evidently has an axe to grind with him.

If you stay out of her way, you may yet survive. Castiel maintains less hope for himself, and before he found you, he would’ve welcomed whatever retribution she required up to and including his life – a life sunken into meaninglessness and seeped in suffering; but now, staring into your eyes, their pleading concern begging him to be careful, to not leave you alone, he feels reason to fight.

Numbed by panic, limbs turning into immovable lead weights of worry for him, you feebly nod against the electrically charged scent of his skin a promise to stay put for his sake and collapse as he pushes you down to your knees and into the alcove underneath.

You watch the lower portion of his legs retreat from your sight and disappear into the gloom. Straining to hear what is happening, the pain pinching your heart in his absence drums dully in your ears and pulls with each strung and stinging beat at the fluid filling the blisters on your feet.

Castiel tag list: (Closed, if you’d like to be removed please let me know!) @jeepangel @sammiesamness @willowing-love @blueicevalkyrie @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11 @thesugargalaxy @bluetina-blog @dont-trust-humanity @afanofmanystuffs @honeybeetrash @bucky-thorin-winchester @superwholockz @tistai @wordstothewisereaders @gill-ons @mrswhozeewhatsis @marisayouass @stone-met @castiel-savvy18 @samualmortgrim @trexrambling @magnificent-mantle @kdfrqqg @xdifsx @mandilion76 @rockfairy @peaceloveancolor @unicorntrooper @anisolatedship @itsilvermorny @aditimukul @kudosia @goofynerd-67babylove @uninspirationalsonglyrics @gray-avidan @mishascupcake @mishapanicmeow @praisecastielamen @roseyhxnt @jessikared97 @let-the-imaginationflow @warriorqueen1991 @sebastianstanslefteyebrow @hisnameisboobear @kristendanwayne @fuschiarulerinthebluebox @coolpencilpie @jenabean75 @luciathewinchestergirl @morganas-pendragons @heyitscam99 @fangirl-and-stuff @selahbela @realgreglestrade @splendidcas @pointlesscasey @i-larb-spooderman @thewhiterabbit42 @thelostverse @castieliswatchingoverme @beccollie18 @dragonett8 @dixie-chick @jtownraindancer @carowinsthings @passionghost @ladyofletters67 @futureparent @gabbie7-11 @myfandomlife-blog @dreamerkim @shamelesslydean @earthtokace @neaeri @justanormalangel @lone-loba @supernaturalymarvel @lilrubixx @wings-and-halo @x-cassiopeia @thehoneybeecastielfollows @musiclovinchic93 @81mysteriouslyme @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @jaylarkson @pixiedusts @spookysculderfiles @laqueus-ludovicus @missjenniferb @lexininja @jessiekay2010 @skrratata @rhiannonj79 @calicat79

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agentdagonet · 5 years

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Echoes, Ch. 26

Find it here on AO3

Find it here on tumblr: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

Fic Summary: Feet dangling off the edge of the bed, hands still resting on the earpieces of his glasses, Eggsy opened his eyes.

And promptly shut them again, screwing them shut like a child who had the distinct misfortune of biting into a raw lemon. Breathing harshly in his nose and out his mouth, trying to stave off whatever delusional panic had befallen him, Eggsy reopened his eyes.

‘Harry?’

Or: The Hologram Story Nobody Asked For

‘You know I love you, yeah?’ Michelle’s voice didn’t waver, but her eyes remained focused on the cup she clutched between her hands. They were sat together on the sofa, enough space that Daisy could fit between them, had she been awake; Eggsy hummed in agreement, mouth preoccupied with the tea they had masterfully made themselves to give them a way not to talk.

They both knew they had to, the way they were going just couldn’t continue for much longer. Something had to give.

‘... I’ve spen’ a lot of time, mum, tryin’ to find a way to explain my shit in a way you’d get it- but, see, knowin’ how to talk to someone means you gotta know ‘em. An’ it kinda hit me that we don’ know each other well ‘nough for that.’ Eggsy sighed, one hand tugging through his hair while the other held the cup on the armrest. ‘Not as adults, at least- an’ I don’t want to be harsh on you, but it feels like you still see me as a kid cos you weren’ really awake enough to see me when I was one.’

‘I know your age, Eggsy-’

‘It ain’t about age, mum- least, it’s not about the number. It’s about where my head’s at, the age I am here,’ he brought the hand from his hair to hiss temple, ‘an’ here,’ his heart, ‘not some numbers.’

‘I don’t understand.’ It’s quiet, muttered around the lip of her mug, with a furrow between her brows. ‘I know the estates and… and Dean,’ she swallowed heavily, ‘weren’t very forgiving or anythin’ but we got by.’

‘When Harry came by and told you about dad,’ Eggsy turned fully toward his mother, who was buried in her mug and growing tenser by the moment, ‘when he gave me this medal cos you were just gonna toss it out of spite,’ Eggsy pulled it from his shirt and over his head, laying it on the cushion between them, ‘he told me to take care of you.’ Michelle’s head shot up, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

‘The first time Harry ever saw me, he knew who we were- dad talked about us constantly. He knew the news he was going to deliver was awful and that nothin’ could replace what he saw as his having taken from us. He blamed himself- he fought tooth an’ nail to get that medal for us against every regulation there was- and he knew you weren’ gonna accept help from anyone but he gave me the medal anyway. Told me to take care of it- and you.

‘I didn’ really get it at the time, but then you just… didn’ get up for a while. I had to go to school, I had to eat, and you didn’t seem to hear me askin’ you about that stuff. I didn’t get a buncha stuff at school and you wouldn’ help me so I ended up talkin’ to my teachers and figuring it out me’self. I started figurin’ my own food- an’ then I started figuring yours. Tried to pester you into much of anything but it was just so hard. An’ then you started dating again- or, well, going out, an’ I had a whole new challenge.’

‘It weren’t all that, babes-’

‘Mum, I love you, but it was. My fears for Daisy, the reasons I didn’ tell you when I found out what really happened to dad, aren’ just nightmares an’ shit made up. I don’ want her havin’ to do even a fraction of what I did at her age. The fact that you can’ see, even now, everythin’ that was wrong back then scares me.’ Eggsy lifted his mug back to his face, barely sipping as an excuse to pass the buck for a bit.

‘I just… I guess I can’t put it all together in a way that makes sense, Eggsy. Harry- the one who told me about your dad’s death, who died ‘imself, and then wasn’t dead- his guilt ain’t yours, and I don’ get why you’d be so torn up abou’ the death of a man you barely knew. An’ keeping secrets is one of the few things I know the estates taught well, I don’ like it but I understand that bit. Mostly. Still hurt, tho.’ Michelle sounded entirely lost, and wished desperately for a cig or a stiffer drink than tea- but she was trying not to rely on shit like that anymore.

‘Harry told me to take care of you- so I did. Not that I really thought he existed for a bit there, to be honest. Without the medal I’d’ve chalked ‘im up as a figment of my imagination. I just knew that someone ‘ad given me an important job, and I was gonna do it. But, to be honest mum, you’re tough as shit to take care of. I started to give up, an’ I went off to the Marines to try an’ make something of myself for me. Figured you was okay, what with a live-in boyfriend an’ all, but that weren’t the case at all, cos-’

‘Daisy.’

‘Yeah, mum, Daisy. You called up me in a panic, bangin’ on about losin’ me like you lost dad and I dunno if you really knew what you was doing. Maybe you weren’t doing it on purpose- I hope you weren’t-’ the last was murmured, ‘but you used my takin’ care of you against me. You pushed every button, pulled every trigger, and then- d’you remember the last bit o’ that call? I can’t forget it.’

Michelle shook her head, mug forgotten on her lap.

‘You tol’ me that it wasn’t like I could make a career out of that anyway. You just… dismissed my choices like they didn’ matter a whit- I was nearly twenty, mum! Did you know there’d been Olympic scouts at my gymnastics practises? That girly shit Dean said was a waste of money coulda gotten us out of there, no medal necessary- I liked gymnastics, but someone else said different and you leapt to please ’em.

‘You didn’ really treat me like a person; you didn’ explain or ask what I thought or even talk to my coaches. One day I was doin’ something amazing and the next day I was told we were never going back there again, and yeah I wasn’ an adult but I’ve never been an idiot, mum. Just. Over an’ over again you showed me that I wasn’t the most important thing in your life, or even like top five sometimes, so I stopped tryin’ to be. I let Dean get to me, let ‘im use me to run his shit and whatever the fuck else he wanted to keep ‘im from goin’ after you or Daisy an’ I stopped trying to find a way out.

‘I gave up, got myself stuck, an’ Harry just abou’ dragged me back into bein’ a person again withou’ even knowin’ it! He was a right prick about it at first- said he though’ dad’d be “bitterly disappointed” in me.’ Much to MIchelle’s confusion, Eggsy grinned his way around the words and huffed a laugh. ‘He was actin’ on the assumption that my life choices were my own- but I set him straight quick. Got me goin’ off about posh arseholes and silver spoons, an’ looking back I think he was a bit proud I didn’ hold my tongue, but then Poodle and the boys showed up. And, well, you know what happened after that. Fuckin’ Dean, and Harry saving my arse cos I refused to grass on ‘im even after… well, after everything.’

‘I think you’ve gotten off topic, Eggsy. I don’t need a step-by-step of you ‘n Harry-’

‘Except that’s exactly what you asked for, mum. You don’ get why his death fucked me up so badly an’ I’m tryin’ to explain it to you- but you don’t really want to know why it affected me so badly- you’se wonderin’ why his death affected you long after you’d put ‘im and his message from your mind.’

‘Now wait a minute, Eggsy- I ain’t lying to you about wanting to know shit. I’m not lying about wanting to understand why his death put you in such a state. I’m not making shit up about not understanding and trying to understand you. I don’t get it, I’m trying here,’ she wiped at her eyes angrily, refusing to look away from Eggsy despite the state she’d suddenly put herself into, ‘but you’ve got to give me something to work with, babe! You’re going on about bein’ grown up and at the same time you‘re harping on about shit I can’t even remember!’

‘EXACTLY!’ Eggsy jumped to his feet and threw his hands up, thankfully having dropped his empty mug to the ground beforehand, ‘That’s the fucking problem, mum- you don’t remember. And, maybe, what you do remember somehow measures up as not as bad as some other shit but I don’t have that luxury! You know what I remember? You, blacked out on the couch; you, lettin’ Dean’s boys paw at you in the livin’ room; you, turning away the first time Dean hit me; you, ignorin’ Daisy crying for hours until I gave in and got what she needed.

‘And, yeah, I know shit was tough- I’m not tryin’ to compare sufferings or some other bullshit- I know you think you were doing the best you could; I know you think you did the best you could with the shitty hand you were dealt. I know.’ Eggsy stopped, took a deep breath in his nose and out his mouth, lips pursed tightly, and did it again. Again. Until the red faded from his face and his heart slowed down enough to feel rational again.

Michelle hadn’t moved. She tried to convince herself that she was listening out for Daisy moving about in her room, what with the ruckus, but adept as she was at lying to herself it wouldn’t stick. This man in front of her was a stranger to her- she knew he was her son, but she didn’t know anything about him, apparently. She didn’t know his goals or his struggles, she didn’t know his friendships beyond the tangential moments they crossed her path directly; how was she ever supposed to bridge this gap she hadn’t known was there?

‘Eggs-’

‘Let me finish, mum- if I don’ do it now I don’t think I’ll try again later.’

‘Okay.’ She swallowed heavily, hands so tight around the mug she was surprised it hadn’t shattered, and waited.

And waited.

‘D’you know what I don’t remember, mum? I don’t remember dad’s voice. I don’t remember his laugh or much of anythin’ about him to be honest. Sometimes I think I see him when I’m asleep but I dunno how much of that’s just my head making shit up with the one picture I’ve got of him, and how much of it is an actual memory I can’t get to when I’m awake. I don't want to find out how much of it's all in my head, honest. An’ maybe all that’s not the healthiest start to a relationship, of any kind, but it’s a sight better than drugs and a meal ticket.

‘Harry didn’t save me, and fuck knows he was a right arse at the start of it; but my refusing to grass gave him enough reason, I guess, to give me the chance to prove myself. He threw every one of my biggest regrets, especially the ones I didn’t get a choice in failing at, in my face. An’ then he turned it about in a way only someone used to getting his way can- he told me to jump. And I said “why not” instead of “how high” an’ he was glad for it. He didn’t give me shit besides a chance; he didn’ tell me what was goin’ on ‘til it were too late to turn back and let me prove myself. Not to him, but-’

‘To yourself. He… He took you away from everythin’ that held you back an’ let you push yourself. He let you figure yourself out without any of us stoppin’ you.’

‘He believed in me, mum; and, yeah, it all started cos he figured he’d as good as killed dad himself but he let me figure it out myself. Never treated me like a kid or like I was less a person for bein’ different- and I fucked it up anyway, mind, but he let me try- and then he died and the one person who’d believed in me was gone. An’ the last thing I’d said to him was accuse ‘im of havin’ dad stuffed somewhere in his house like one of them pinned butterflies. He went straight off for America from that fight, an’ then he died-’

‘And you blamed yourself.’ Her Eggsy, if she could call him that to herself without wincing, had gone and fallen into the same pit Harry had after Lee. He slumped back into the sofa, head hung low, and Michelle took the moment just to look at him. To see the way his jaw clenched and unclenched the same way Lee’s had when he was upset. The way Eggsy’s eyes had the same tilt his dad had had. All the little pieces of Lee that Eggsy had no idea he’d inherited because she’d refused to talk about him and brought people into their lives who forbade it. Because she’d... let her grief consume her.

‘Well, now I know what Merlin was on about,’ Michelle muttered to herself, one hand propped against her chin, ‘when he said I’d let my grief consume me. I didn’ even see you was strugglin’ more than I was, babes, cos it was different. I ain’t gonna claim that I get it now,’ she shook her head and a self-deprecating laugh escaped, ‘but I’m gonna say that I’m gonna try and see that I don’ understand and that’s okay.

‘I know I didn’ do right by you, Eggsy; I know I let other shit be more important and I pushed you away cos you reminded me so much of Lee that it… it made me angry. How could I keep bein’ who I’d been before, when he was gone? And I didn’ even realise that I was takin’ it out on you. Or,’ she corrected herself, ‘maybe I did, but I didn’t want to admit it to meself. I spent so much time tryin’ to ignore everything that’d changed and not enough trying to figure out how to be your mum- a mum, actually- after everythin’. You kept gettin’ bigger and then you were grown and leavin’ me and I just… panicked.’

Eggsy refused to meet her gaze, one hand clenched tightly in a fist while the other rubbed itself aimlessly against the sofa cushion. He’d always known his mum was fucked up; the older he got the more obvious it was that she’d just had all her strings cut when his dad died and she let just about anyone make choices for her cos she couldn’t handle the responsibility of being a person. And yeah, having the explanation helped and all, but it was a bit like finding out that Snape’d been a dick because he was a spy and loved Harry’s mum- it was a good reason, but it wasn’t an excuse. It didn’t make things better in retrospect, it didn’t make him happier to know; it didn’t bridge the gap she’d dug between them. It was a good way to learn what not to do- but didn’t help much when trying to figure out what TO do.

‘I don’ think I’m ever gonna understand, Eggsy, but I don’ want you avoiding me- or Daisy- cos of the shit I did before. Or didn’ do. I ain’t gonna claim to fix it or anything- but I want to try an’ do better; I want to learn how to be… well, maybe not a mum- think you’re a bit old for that, an’ that’s where I fucked this up in the first place. I tried to push you to talk an’ you weren’t ready, or maybe just not ready to talk with me ‘bout it, cos I thought I knew best. And it’s pretty obvious here that I don’t. So, maybe I can learn to be your friend- one that’s got a load of stories to teach you what not to do.’

‘You’re always gonna be my mum, tho. You fucked up, a lot, and I’m tryin’ not to… to project my past onto Daisy cos you’ve changed. V-Day made us all re-think a lot of shit, in a lot o’ ways, and I know you’re trying. There ain’t much to drink here, you’ve been chattin’ with Harry and takin’ Daisy to school and being a proper person. I can see it. But, sometimes, seein’ you trying makes me mad as hell- cos why wasn’ I enough to try for?’ Eggsy felt a tear escape, traitorously run it's way down his cheek, but refused to wipe it away. He was allowed to feel, damnit.

‘Oh, Eggsy, there was nothin’ you coulda done. You did your best- I just… wasn’t quite there yet. I couldn’t see past the moment I was stuck in like- like your bloody snowglobe, that one Lee brought home for you his last leave. Everythin’ was fine long as I didn’t leave that bubble and tha’s on me, babes. My shit ain’t your responsibility, an’ that goes double for your guilt over Harry. Obviously his dying didn’ stick, but you’ve gotta let that shit go or you’re never going to see eveythin’ that’s in front of you.’ Michelle thought briefly of Harry the first time he’d come by, how lost he’d been when she’d just brushed aside his guilt like a stray bit of dirt where it shouldn’t be. ‘And I ain’t talkin’ about being grateful- I know you’re plenty grateful that shit’s landed as it has, love- but you… I dunno, maybe it’s just cos I see you so little with that “tailoring” job,’ Michelle mimed the quotations with her fingers, ‘but it feels like you’re doin’ the same shit I did, but, like, the opposite. You’re tryin’ to keep yourself in that moment back when shit wasn’t all fucked up, an’ if you’re moving forward it’s fuckin’ slowly.’

‘Like you’re one to talk, mum.’

‘But tha’s just it- I was doing that. I was stuck and stickin’ there and I didn’t even care I was doing it ‘til some madman decided to shove my faults in my face in a way I can only thank every god above and below Daisy doesn’t seem to remember.

‘Learn from me, Eggsy- don’ get stuck just cos it seems safer.’

‘I don’t know how to be safe, mum- I just know how to get from one crisis to the next.’

‘Good thing you’ve got the time to learn, then. Even if you’ve got yourself a group of folk who prolly don’t know any better than you do.’ That seemed to cut loose some of the tension, both chuckling and bumping shoulders, and when had the space between them shrunk so much? Physically, mind, but hopefully they’d started filling in the emotional gaps.

They sat in silence for a while, finishing off their now-so-cold-it-was-a-little-gross tea and clearing the sitting room. They got up to wash their mugs, stood comfortably beside each other at the sink, a happier echo of tense moments past. Michelle didn’t want to leave anything for Eggsy to wonder at, cos chances were that they wouldn’t ever speak like this again. This was the only chance she’d have, probably; but even if it weren’t she needed to know that Eggsy had heard her.

‘I need you to know that I mean it when I tell you I love you, Eggsy. I don’ really know how to love you, now, but I know it’s there- I just can’t express it right, I guess. And I’m so proud of you- you grew up so much when I wasn’t looking. When I was lookin’ away on purpose. But you’re an amazing young man and I am so proud of you- even when you won’t tell me all about your fancy dangerous job and I have to imagine what’s goin’ on.’ Eggsy smiled ruefully and scrubbed a hand at his neck, cheeks flushed but unrepentant. Michelle smiled and slowly opened her arms, wriggling her fingers to goad Eggsy into her embrace- which he did without protest, and she lifted herself just enough to reach his ear and whisper the words she couldn’t bring herself to say to his face.

‘You’re so much like your dad; you’ve got his justice and his fury and I’m gonna try an' tell you that more often. You deserve to know that you’re doin’ him proud- and he deserves to be remembered.’

#dagonet writes #echoes fic #Kingsman #kingsman fic

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magioftheseas · 6 years

Text

Day 1 - Reserve

Written for @the-hinata-project

Prompt: Reserve Course Student Hinata

Rating: G

Warnings: Lowkey manipulation and insecurity, but other than that, not much.

Notes: Alright, so I’m still in the middle of these, but like... Here’s the first one! They’re all going to be pretty short, around 2K but I’m gonna do my best to finish all of them so wish me luck...! And this first fic is gen. No ships. Next ones won’t be so gen. It’s also pre-HPA. Kind of.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

The last wish he made on New Year’s was a simple one.

I want to get into Hope’s Peak.

But of course that would never happen.

“Can’t you dream more realistically, Hajime? Do you have any idea how expensive Hope’s Peak actually is? We can’t afford that.”

“I... I know that, but...”

“If you know then why are you burdening us with this? Please. Just think about other people besides yourself for once.”

“...sorry.”

His mother sighs, but ruffles his hair in a show of affection.

“You current high school isn’t so bad, right? You can make good friends here, and it’s a fine school.”

“I guess it’s...decent,” he mumbles.

“Just don’t even worry about Hope’s Peak anymore,” she tells him. “It’s impossible, and it can’t be helped. Keep your chin up. Okay?”

“...fine...”

Because he knew, after all, that she had a point. They couldn’t afford it. And he wasn’t talented. It was a pipe dream to attend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Still...

For his birthday, he was given a new laptop to replace the old. It was a fairly recent model. Pretty expensive. Likely compensation. He can’t say he didn’t like it.

He wasn’t ungrateful. He doesn’t think so.

It’s just that I admire Hope’s Peak more than anything.

So much so that he finds himself on the forums first thing.

>Does anyone have any idea who’s going to be in the upcoming batch?

>They haven’t finished scouting, right? Oh, but I just saw on the news that an actual princess was accepted! Hope’s Peak really can get in anyone!

>Wow, actual royalty?!

>There’s this photographer I follow. She’s getting in, too, I’m pretty sure.

>I just saw Saionji Hiyoko-san’s performance last week. I’m positive she’s getting in.

>I’m more interested in the princess. Can you imagine how lucky it would be to meet an actual princess?

>>They’ll be running the lottery in a month or so. What I would give to have more of a chance...

>Wow, they’re doing that again?

>With how much getting into the reserve course costs, you probably have a better chance with the lottery...

>But if you win the lottery, you’re actually considered talented. Reserves are just...y’know, reserves.

>But you’ll get to meet the princess, potentially. I think the money’s worth it, even if all I can do is steal a glance!

>Still... Seems so lame that you can just pay your way in...

>But brand name recognition is pretty powerful...

>>I heard you can actually get into the main course from the reserve course if you do well enough.

>No way! That’s a pipe dream! Maybe if you paid like, twice as much!

>Must be nice to be rich, huh...

Hinata stares, wondering what to type, but also letting the thoughts swirl around in his head.

>>I would do anything to get into Hope’s Peak. But my family just can’t afford that.

>Yeah, mine neither. Who actually can?

>You’d be surprised... They’re getting a lot of enrollments.

>You can’t like...get a scholarship or anything? It’s not like you need to go to college after attending Hope’s Peak.

>Well the golden gates can’t open that wide, I suppose...

>It’s for the best. If just about anyone could get in, it wouldn’t be that special.

Hinata bites his lip, picking at the peeling skin with his teeth.

>>Still. I want to get in more than anything.

>If you aren’t talented, it can’t be helped.

>>I would give anything.

>Pffft. No kidding. I’d give an arm and a leg, probably.

>>I would give anything.

>A lot of people would.

>You’re like a super fan, huh. Well, I am, too, but still...

>>Getting into Hope’s Peak has always been my dream.

>Everyone wants to be special, man.

>But if everyone was special then no one would be special.

>It can’t be helped. You’re either born talented or you aren’t.

>Right?! I must have spent hours drawing but there was always that one person I could just never compare to. It’s hopeless!

>You shouldn’t say hopeless on the Hope’s Peak forums!

>Haha, sorry!

>>I’ve never been talented. There’s not one thing I’m particularly good at.

>Normie...

>>But I want to get into Hope’s Peak Academy... More than anything.

>Give it up. For your own good. Wishing for the impossible isn’t healthy.

>Hey, don’t tell him that! What if he ends up winning the lottery?

>Yeah, right!

>>I’m not particularly lucky, either.

>Luck’s not a talent anyway.

>Are you sure? I’ve known people who get ridiculously lucky while gambling...

>If they gamble too much, that luck’s bound to run out. And I bet they’re not that lucky, they just brag a lot.

>That might be true... Still it would be nice just to get into Hope’s Peak by chance...

>Whoever wins that lottery probably is ridiculously lucky considering how many people are participating. We’re talking like, every high school student in their first year in the country.

>Sucks to be other countries, huh.

>Maybe someday but for now, I like not having that much competition.

>Still a ridiculous amount competing...

>I bet it’ll be someone who can afford the reserve course if they haven’t already enrolled.

>No fair! That kind of thing should disqualify you immediately!

>>I just...want to get in...

>Yeah we all do. But it’s impossible.

>Impossible.

>Totally impossible.

>Pigs will fly first.

>I heard some Ultimates actually can make some crazy shit. We might see flying pigs pretty soon.

>That’s terrifying.

>>I just want to get in.

>You should get offline.

He should. He really, really should.

Is it really impossible?

“Of course it is,” he can practically hear them murmur. “Not only are you untalented, you can’t afford it! And you’re going to win the lottery, either!”

Hinata buries his face into his hands, shuddering.

I just... I just...

To his surprise, he later receives a DM. Shivering, he clicks it open.

>Would you really do anything for Hope’s Peak?

He doesn’t recognize the name of the sender but...it looks official.

>>Yes. Of course. Why?

>There actually is a program you can sign up for that will get you in without having to pay a coin.

Hinata blinked once. Twice.

It’s way too good to be true.

But he’s desperate. Beyond desperate.

>>What is this program? How can I sign up?

>Here’s the information.

What he’s about to do is how people get themselves abducted, he’s pretty sure. But right now, he’s desperate and... If it really was someone associated with Hope’s Peak, how bad can it be? What’s the worse than can happen?

I already have no chance getting in. I know that... But...

His heart was pounding as he took the train. He stared out the window, at HPA’s towering buildings in the distance, getting closer and closer, and he sucks in his breath.

It’s so shining that it hurts to look at.

Shining like a dream...

“Ah, Hinata-kun, you made it after all. So you have the necessary information?”

“Uh... Yes...” Truth be told, he didn’t understand most of it. There were a lot of words that were hard to read and pretty...advanced. “I just...well you said you couldn’t explain everything in just files, so...”

The other looked pretty professional. Sharply dressed and smiling in a way that at least seemed pretty welcoming. But...still pretty intimidating, considering the circumstances. Hinata ducked his head, feeling rather flustered.

“Yes, it’s meant to be kept very tightly under wraps, you see,” they laugh. “I need to assure confidentiality before explaining, Hinata-kun. Surely you understand.”

That’s...weird.

But it made his blood thrum with excitement to be a part of.

“I... Y-Yes, of course. Absolutely... Of course...”

“Sign this form, then, promising that.”

“O-Of course...!”

He scribbles down his signature without a second thought. The other smiled more, pleased. Hinata squirmed in his seat, and tried to keep his posture straight.

With that, the other sat across from him, polite and yet...expectant.

Ah... Hah...

“So you’re willing to do anything for this school,” they say, voice almost light but also dense with significance. “Might I ask why?”

“It’s...as I said on the forums,” Hinata mumbles, fiddling with his tie. Even dressed professionally for this would-be interview, he feels underdressed. “I’ve always admired this school. Always. It’s always been my dream to...to go there...”

The other nods, expression unchanged.

“And why do you wish so badly to go there, despite not having a talent that can be cultivated?”

Hinata flinched.

“T-That’s...! I...” He hesitates, but he soon finds the words just spilling out. “I just want to be someone I can be proud of. Someone who can stand tall. Be confident. Be significant. Isn’t that what I deserve?”

“Isn’t that what everyone deserves?”

Hinata’s nails dig into his palms.

“I admire Hope’s Peak...more than anyone. I will give whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.” His teeth grit. “Whatever it takes... W-Whatever it takes...!”

Even though I know it’s selfish and impossible, I just...!

He just wanted to be someone. Someone other than...this.

Unimportant. Unremarkable. A faceless, meaningless part of the mass. The idea of being consumed by mediocrity and insignificance for the rest of his life, never to matter, never to even be remembered, just to disappear, just like he never even existed—

“I’ll do...w-whatever...it takes...” He’s shaking, eyes wide and crazed. “Whatever it takes... Whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.”

“Ah. I see.” An easy smile. And yet, the atmosphere felt so heavy that it was near suffocating. “Very well then, Hinata-kun. That’s exactly the kind of attitude we’re looking for.”

Hinata lit up.

“R-Really?” He dares to let hope slip into his tone. “D-Do you really mean it?”

A nod.

“Hinata-kun... If you could be reborn from the faceless body of a miserable nobody into the world’s hope... Would you?”

“That...sounds too good to be true...” His heart really was racing, but he was flushed with excitement. “But... Y-Yeah... I... Of course...”

“Then, allow me to tell you about how that can be possible. If you agree, you’ll be accepted into the school, free of charge, no talent necessary. In fact, it’s even essential that you be talentless.”

I...don’t understand.

He doesn’t understand but it just sounds so incredible that he can’t help but be swayed.

“...tell me.”

“Very well.”

A folder of files is placed before him. They look too important to grasp. And the stamped out letters of CONFIDENTIAL stare back into his wide-eyed, shimmering gaze.

Fingers trembling, Hinata actually slices his finger open as he flips it open.

He doesn’t even feel the sting, as engrossed as he is in the text.

“I...”

The words swirl around in his head, over and over until he drowns in them.

“Do you need time to think about it?” the other asks him kindly. So kindly that Hinata is struck cold. “Tell you what... You can still get into the reserve course. You don’t have to say yes right away, and the deadline will be in a few months from now. You can attend classes here until then...and then make your decision on whether or not you’re willing to stay. Okay?”

“I... O-Okay.” Hinata swallows. “That’s... I’m okay with that.”

I said I’d do anything. And I do...want to do anything. But...

His hands are shaking while still gripping the files.

I can’t...let this chance slip by...even if it’s something like this. This is everything I ever wanted. Why am I even hesitating?

“It’s alright,” the other says reassuringly, taking the files away with ease. “Hinata-kun, I know you’ll make the best decision for yourself.”

For...myself. Myself...

“I...yes.”

“I’ll have them send in your acceptance letter and uniform.” His hand is shook, the grip warm and calloused. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Hinata-kun.”

“A-A pleasure... Yeah.”

Just like that, Hinata was stumbling out of Hope’s Peak, trembling and falling to pieces with every shaky step.

I have to do it, he can’t help but think. I have to do it, for...for myself...

This was going to be the year his life changed irreparably. He was sure of it.

#thehinataproject #hajime hinata #hinata hajime #Magi fics #the hinata project #although it's not going to show up #I might as well #I'll probably have to message someone anyway #The tragedy of being muted

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askjaaryl · 6 years

Text

Episode #10: Brave New World

Paul spends some much-needed time with Maggie and Sasha as Glenn and Daryl go scouting for a new location for the New Frontier group from Richmond. A meeting of the communities are held, resulting in some tension between Paul and Rick. Paul realizes that he’s a parent.

This is the start of season 2 of this blog.

“Look,” Paul sighed, lying on the couch in Maggie’s office, “I’m sorry for not asking you first...but their community is in shambles,” he explained, “Their walls were down. We put temporary ones up, but they won’t hold forever. And these...Free Men...they have provisions, I can tell.”

“No,” Maggie sighed, leaning on her desk, “You were right to do what you did. It might take some rationing for a while ‘til everyone gets used to taking on another community to supply, but it was the right thing to do,” she explained, “I’ve already sent for the leaders of the other communities, so we can talk about this.”

“It’s not gonna be pretty,” Sasha added, looking out the window, “We haven’t had to ration in a while. People are going to get angry.”

“Let ‘em be,” Maggie said simply, “Ain’t the worst we’ve been through,” she said, finishing what she was writing before putting her notebook down. She walked over and flopped beside Paul, “Okay, spill.”

“Spill what?” Paul raised an eyebrow, scooting over a little to give her room.

“How’s it going with your boyfriends?” Maggie asked.

“Boy talk while we’re having a strategy meeting?” Paul snorted.

“Oh, definitely,” Sasha said, sitting on his other side and making him scoot over as well, “Your happiness is the second highest priority of our meetings...first is keeping everyone alive.”

Paul rolled his eyes and looked down, biting his lip to conceal a smile, “It’s going really well,” he looked up at the ceiling, avoiding their waiting eyes, “We say we love each other all the time now.”

“Oh my god,” Maggie pulled him into a tight hug, laughing, “I knew it. I knew you could be happy,” she looked at Sasha, “Look at this smile on him!”

“It’s a good smile,” Sasha agreed.

Paul rolled his eyes, shoving his friend off of him, “Okay, okay,” he said quickly and sighed, “One worry though.”

“Isn’t there always?” Sasha sighed.

“Gracie,” Paul said, ignoring her comment, “Gracie’s my worry.”

“Why?” Maggie asked, “Paul, she loves you. When you come to pick her up from playing with Hershel, she’s the happiest. She loves getting to walk home with you. She always says in the proudest voice ‘Paul is walking me home from school today!’!” she laughed.

Paul sighed, “Yeah...I’m okay being Paul to her. I have no idea how to be a father though,” he put his head back, “My father barely ever interacted with me...the foster homes I was in never had the best and even the one I was in that was good...I didn’t pay much attention to him,” he pursed his lips, “What if she comes to me with genuine advice and I don’t have the answer?”

“Paul, there ain’t no book to parenting...well, there are...but most of them are garbage,” Maggie told him, “Hell, half the time Glenn and I have no idea what the hell we’re doin’ and both our parents were great.”

“You have her best interest at heart, right?” Sasha asked.

“Well, yeah,” Paul sighed, “I love her.”

“So there,” Sasha said simply, “You have the right grounds to be a parent.”

“It’s not that simple,” Paul groaned.

“Yes, it is,” Sasha said, “Besides, I’m pretty sure Daryl doesn’t know how to do laundry...so you’re already a step ahead of him on that.”

Paul laughed, putting his head back, “He can, he just chooses not to.”

“Hey, are you wearing one of his shirts?” Maggie asked, looking at him with a fond smile on her face, “That’s way too big for you.”

“Aaron’s actually,” Paul said, rolling the sleeves up, “Daryl didn’t do the laundry.”

Paul was met with two “aw”s and more hugs from his friends.

“We’ll get a filter for all that water,” Daryl said, kneeling down by the docks, “Then we’ll get the herd crew out here to start clearin’ them buildings.”

“Agreed,” Glenn said, looking up at the three large buildings, “It’ll be more than enough for them.”

“Place used to be a park,” Daryl said, hitting the sign that said Montgomery Park, “Probably gonna just be office buildings in there. Hopefully that means people cleared out ta go home before the outbreak.”

“Hopefully,” Glenn agreed, “This place is just down the road from Alexandria,” he said, looking at the map, “This’ll be great if they need anything starting out,” he said, “Hey, we should stop by and say hi to Rick and the others. We haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Nah,” Daryl said simply, “Gotta get the fences up around here then get back to Hilltop.”

Glenn sighed, following him, “Daryl, you can’t avoid Alexandria forever. Your brother lives there. Hell, I’ve been there since everything. It’s been years.”

Daryl just grunted, continuing to work on the temporary fence around the courtyard. They’d already cleared out a few straggling walkers and now they wanted to keep more from getting in.

“Daryl-” Glenn started.

Daryl whipped around and shoved him a little, “I ain’t got a mirror, but ya know what he did to you!” he snapped at him, “You can’t see outta that eye now ‘cause of him. Abe’s dead ‘cause of him,” he yelled and pointed to the side of his head, “Guy drove me half insane...prolly more,” he snorted, “Then the guy cuts of some lady’s head and Rick gives ‘im an outpost of ‘is own with no supervision,” he laughed bitterly before going back to the fence.

Glenn sighed, “Look, I know it’s not fair...but we just need to accept it.”

“Nah,” Daryl said simply before stopping, not looking up at him, “I love Rick. He’s my brother...ain’t gonna act like I ain’t happy to see ‘im when he comes around...but doesn’t make me any less mad.”

“I know,” Glenn said soothingly, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Trust me, I get it, man. But we’ve been through so much...it’s time to move on and be happy.”

Daryl just grunted again and went silent for a moment before speaking up again, “Sorry for shovin’ ya.”

“No problem,” Glenn said, an amused smile on his face, “And you do seem happy, by the way...with Jesus and Aaron.”

Daryl finished tying what he was doing before sighing, ignoring his comment, “‘Kay, we should get back.”

Glenn raised an eyebrow.

Daryl huffed, “Yes, m’happy, okay? Can we go now?”

“Yes,” Glenn said, obviously satisfied with himself.

Paul sat on the steps with Aaron, leaning on him slightly. Neither of them really minded the PDA. It earned them a few odd looks now and again, but they’d been slowly working on subtly letting their community know of their relationship now.

Paul put his head on his shoulder, watching Gracie play with Hershel, smiling slightly at his daughter and his godson. He pressed his face against Aaron’s shoulder to hide his wider smile when he thought of Gracie as his daughter.

“What?” Aaron asked with a laugh, leaning down to see his face, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Just how much I love you all,” Paul said, leaning up and pecking him on the lips.

The gates opened suddenly and Rick’s truck drove in.

“Great,” Paul huffed, hiding his face in Aaron’s shoulder for another minute before jumping up when Maggie walked out as well.

Aaron got up as well, walking over with them and Sasha.

“Thanks for comin’,” Maggie said, pulling Rick into a hug, then Michonne. She kneeled down to Judith, “How’s it goin’, sweetheart?”

“Fine,” Judith said simply before hugging her neck. She didn’t remember Maggie very much, but she knew Rick called her her aunt and said that she helped her mom give birth to her. She only ever really saw her at holidays or meetings like this because Maggie and her husband, Glenn, didn’t come to Alexandria often.

Maggie hugged her back, smiling.

“Dad!” Carl called, running over from where he’d been working with Henry. He took the apron off before pulling him into a tight hug.

Paul smiled slightly, watching them reunite, as Judith walked over to talk to Hershel and Gracie, obviously bored with the adults around already.

Rick pulled away and his eyes fell on Paul, “Why did ya think it was okay to bring these people in without askin’ all of us first?”

“Because they were struggling,” Paul said simply, “With these Free Men out here, we can’t be too safe. It’ll be better to have our allies closer. You know Javi, we’ve talked about him before.”

“Talked out ‘im, never met ‘im,” Rick grumbled.

“Well, hot damn, been a while since I saw this place,” a familiar voice said.

Paul’s eyes widened and Aaron grabbed his hand immediately, pulling him back to his side as Negan jumped out of the back of the truck.

“What the hell?” Paul demanded.

“I called all the outposts here as well,” Maggie said, “Him included...under supervision,” she explained, “We can’t have people killin’ the New Frontier, so we need to let ‘em know about ‘em in advance...even him.”

“Yeah, it’s great to have our allies close, isn’t it, Rick?” Paul snapped at him.

“Is there somethin’ you wanna say?” Rick demanded.

“Oh, there’s so much I’d love to say to you, Rick Grimes-” Paul started.

“Paul, take a walk,” Maggie said quickly, looking at Aaron, who nodded.

“That one always was a fuckin’ firecracker,” Negan laughed as he walked away.

Paul went to turn back around, but Aaron put his arm around him in a tight grip, continuing to walk them away, behind the trailers.

“You should have let me slit his throat,” Paul said immediately, turning to him once they were alone.

“No,” Aaron said firmly, “I shouldn’t have. That would have just caused problems between our communities, Paul. We...We have to listen to Rick, okay? He’s Daryl’s brother.”

“Daryl’s brother. Not mine,” Paul said quickly, “Imagine if Daryl was here right now...seeing him not even twenty feet from our daughter, Aaron. From Glenn’s son. Do you know how fucked up that is?” he took a shaky breath, “He looked in their general direction and I wanted him dead more than ever before.”

Aaron pulled him into a hug, “It’s just a short meeting to make sure that no one accidentally kills your friends, sweetheart...deep breaths. Then they’ll be gone.”

“I wish he was gone,” Paul grumbled against his chest, “Dead, in the ground.”

Aaron continued to hold him, not saying anything, letting him calm down in his arms.

“If he breaths in the wrong direction, I’ll kill him,” Paul said simply, going back in the direction of Barrington.

“We can tell just by how they were talking that they know there are communities out there,” Paul explained, “They most likely know about ours, given how they were talking. They know about our circle and they don’t like it,” he sighed, “We saw their armory, briefly...they have a lot, but not as much as us. They also have a good number of people, but not as much as us.”

The tension in the room was evident, ever since Cyndie and Beatrice arrived after Ezekiel and Jerry. Cyndie kept looking over to Negan, but Beatrice kept a hand on her arm.

“If they don’t have as much as we do, why are you bringin’ the New Frontier up here?” Negan asked suddenly, “It’s a waste of resources.”

Paul gritted his teeth, “Because they might not have as much as us, but they have more than the Frontier,” he said simply, “They took down their walls. We put up something temporary for them, but it’s not going to last. Who knows when they’ll attack them again?”

The door opened and closed and Glenn and Daryl walked in, quietly taking a seat in the back of the room. Paul felt a pang in his chest when he saw Daryl’s eyes flick from Negan to Rick.

Paul nodded for Maggie and Sasha to take over with their provisional plans before he walked over and sat on the couch, on Daryl’s other side, “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d be back this soon.”

“S’fine,” Daryl said simply, grabbing his hand in a tight grip.

“We’re going to ration our resources by a quarter each until everyone can start producing enough to take on another community,” Sasha explained, “Same story as when Oceanside and Sanctuary came back into the fold; fuel, food, and ammo.”

“We can start producing more as soon we get back and get the orders filled,” Dwight explained, just as uncomfortable as everyone else as he stood beside his lieutenant, Laura. Sherry was there too, as a representative of one of the outposts, standing with Amber.

“We were already planning on expanding our crops this season as well and we have more than enough seeds for food,” Maggie added, nodding with him, “Then we’ll get the orders to Eugene for more bullets for them.”

“This isn’t something new, it’s just us taking on more people,” Sasha added, “Keep your communities in check, we’re going to give you all a list of names of everyone in the community as soon as it’s available and getting them their IDs once they’re all set up.”

“The New Frontier is in the council now,” Maggie said seriously, “You know the rules...harm anyone in a community under us, you face the consequences,” she cleared her throat, “Thank you all for coming. If you’re from further out and want to spend the night, we’ll show you to the guest rooms in Barrington. This meeting is adjourned.”

Paul smiled when the meeting ended and Aaron walked over to talk to Daryl. When he was hugging him, he walked over, smiling at Ezekiel, “Hello, your highness.”

“Hello, my friend,” Ezekiel said, pulling him into a tight hug, “You’re well, yes? Watching over my son as he trains with Earl?”

“Always,” Paul smiled, “And you?”

“We’re good, getting things up and running in the Kingdom again,” Ezekiel nodded, “A slow but valiant process!” he announced loudly.

Paul pursed his lips to keep the smile off his face, “Well, if anyone can handle it, it’s you, your highness...and Carol and Jerry, of course.”

“Damn right,” Jerry said, giving him a hard pat on the back.

“Jerry,” Ezekiel scolded before turning back to Paul, “It’s good seeing you, but we must get back before nightfall. I apologize that our reunion is brief,” he said, leaning down, kissing his cheek softly.

“We’ll come and visit soon,” Paul agreed, watching him walk out. He walked back over to Aaron and hid his face in his chest to conceal his laughter.

“Let’s get outta here,” Daryl grumbled, looking to where Rick was still talking with Maggie, Michonne, and Negan. Oceanside and the Sanctuary had immediately made themselves scarce from the room, practically out the door before Maggie said the meeting was done.

“Agreed,” Paul said, giving Negan one last look before he left with his boyfriends.

“I just don’t understand how he could think that was okay-” Paul was saying as they walked down the steps, only to be cut off by Gracie and Judith yelling.

“Shove him again and I’ll-” Gracie started, shoving at Judith who was shoving right back.

“Gracie!” Aaron said quickly, jogging over, “Hey, c’mon...we don’t shove,” he said quickly, pulling her away.

Rick was there suddenly, with Michonne, who pulled a struggling Judith away, Carl mumbling “Judy, what the hell?” as they did.

“She shoved Hershel!” Gracie yelled over Aaron’s shoulder, “Asshole!”

“Hey!” Aaron said quickly, “Language, Gracie.”

Paul quickly followed Aaron back to the trailer, letting Daryl talk to Rick as he did.

“Go to your room, timeout,” Aaron said quickly, pointing in the direction of Gracie’s bedroom.

Gracie immediately stomped away, slamming the door behind her.

“She never curses like that, even with Daryl running his mouth as much as he does,” Aaron sighed, scrubbing his hand over his face, “And she definitely never gets violent.”

“I dunno, she kicks some serious ass in my children’s class,” Paul smirked slightly.

Aaron peeked through his fingers, giving him a now’s not the time look.

Paul pursed his lips, “Can I say something?”

“Of course you can,” Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Look,” Paul took a deep breath, “It’s not really my place, she’s your daughter, but...she was defending her friend, I think you should take that into account.”

“Paul,” Aaron sighed, putting his hand on his shoulder, “She’s your daughter to...no less than mine or Daryl’s. You obviously have a say in this kind of stuff.”

Paul smiled weakly at him, “I’m just saying...from experience...kids always have a reason for why they do what they do. They just need the right adult who will actually listen to them.”

Before Aaron could say anything, Daryl came into the trailer.

“She okay?” Daryl asked.

“She’s in her room,” Aaron said, glancing at Paul, “But...she’s not in trouble, so I’m going to go tell her she was only in timeout for the language...and that shoving is bad...unless you have a reason.”

Daryl nodded, watching him walk away. He raised an eyebrow at Paul.

“What?” Paul laughed.

“What are we gonna do with both you and me lettin’ that kid get away with everything, huh?” Daryl snorted, taking off his jacket, flopping on the couch.

“Rick gone?” Paul asked.

“Yeah,” Daryl said simply, “Hershel’s completely fine too, Gracie overreacted. They were playin’ tag and Judith tagged ‘im too hard, he fell down.”

Paul snorted, sitting beside him, “You okay?”

Daryl just shook his head, “Later?”

“Yeah,” Paul nodded, holding his hand, “Later.”

“Dad’s back!” Gracie yelled as she walked out with Aaron, throwing herself into Daryl’s arms, “Have a good trip?”

“Yeah, I did,” Daryl said, “We’re gonna have to take you swimmin’ in that lake the Frontier’s gettin’ sometimes. There was tons ‘a ducks.”

“Really?” Gracie asked with wide eyes, “Can we get a pet duck?”

“Hell no, Dog would eat it,” Daryl snorted.

Aaron sat down on the opposite couch, turning on their old little box TV and starting up one of the VHS tapes of Homeward Bound they had, the talking dog making Gracie gasp.

“This is Dog’s favorite movie, he needs to watch with us!” Gracie called, “Dog! DOG!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.

Dog immediately came running out from wherever it was he’d been hiding, jumping up on Paul’s lap, causing him to grunt in pain.

“You are way too big to be a lap down,” Paul huffed, squirming out from under the dog and moving to sit beside Aaron, curling up to his boyfriend’s side immediately.

Daryl put his feet up on the coffee table, Gracie laying on him slightly, her hand on Dog as she watched the movie.

Paul smiled at how domestic the whole thing was, curling closer to Aaron and putting his head on his shoulder.

#cs;#giving you the maggie-paul friendship that was stolen from us

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