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#im very nervous with my face online thats why you have to know me for 3 years before a face reveal
ghostiiess · 10 months
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[NSB HEADCANONS] - regie's reactions when he saw you crying in the bathroom
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pov: the title say everything (other title: hate comments from the stars directed to you)
warnings: feelind sad, mention of hateful comments, headcanon about online hate, mention of swears here and there, mention of crying and hating ourselves, mention of gaining weight or losing weight (regie is saying he would still love y/n whatever the weight they have. BTW, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Do not change for others people.)
type: comfort
member: regie macalino
reblogs and likes are very appreciated!
please, if you know someone, or live this situation, please do not keep it to yourself. you do not deserve this. if you don't feel to talk or don't know what to say / who to tell, my dms are always open and i put some websites at the end of the post :)
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So regie just finished his job with the boys
And like he usually do when he have time (and when he’s available), he visit you at your apartment
Today, without really knowing why, he missed you more than the usual
He always miss you when he’s at work
(More under the cut!)
But today?
Damn.
He was like “damn i hope she’s okay” and “i hope she’s smiling right now”
like he was just having gut feelings that you weren't 100% okay? if i can say it like that?
So when his work got done, he quickly went to your apartment
and saw your car was there, which made him happy bc he really wanted to see you! and your car were there, so it probably meant that you were here
He rang on your appartment’s number door ring and got no response
He trust you with all his heart, but tonight, he felt like something wasn’t good
Like if it was his guts saying something to him
Obviously, regie had the key to enter, but he didn’t want to enter just like that
He wanted you to know he was going to come in to see you
He quickly got a text from you, saying you weren’t feeling great, which made regie’s worrying even worse
“What’s up bby? Do u need smth?” Regie quickly texted back
When he didn’t got no response, regie quickly took his key and texted he was going to see u
When he stepped into your apartment, and closed the main door, regie’s voice went all around the house
“Hey baby, it’s me! are you there?”
Ofc, you were there.
He knew it. But he wanted to hear your voice.
But, he didn’t.
Now, he was starting to feel a bit nervous.
You didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to talk or text… it wasn’t really you to do that kind of thing
For sure, when you had bad days, you were feeling not very.. social, but never you were acting like this
And regie knew it.
Regie quietly walking in your appartment and knocked on your bedroom door before open it
“Baby?”
"Ayo? Are you dead or what?" he jokingly said (not funny)
When he saw you, in your bed, the phone’s in your hand and your cheeks all wet, his heart started beating so fast
He thought his heart was going to get out of his chest
"fuck..."
“Baby? Are you good? What happened?”
You didn’t reply
“Baby… i hate seeing you like this, you know that.. what’s up? Did someone said something? Istg if someone did, imma beat their ass so hard bruh. No ones disrespect my baby.”
You shook you head
“Do you want to talk about it? Do you want me to leave you alone?”
You nodded
“You said yes bc you want to talk about it, or because you want me to leave you alone?”
When you said “first option” with your tired, and sad voice, his heart broke
“Omg, baby… shhh it’s okay, i am here. Im not going anywhere”
He layed on the bed, next to you and quietly stroke your hair
“Talk when you’re ready, my love. I’m here. And if you do not want to talk about it, then that’s fine too. I can just stroke your hair and tells you about my day if thats what you want”
He kissed your cheeks and your nose “you do what you want, okay? im here for you”
When you started talking, and couldn’t talk without letting some tears rolling down your face, his heart broke even more
“Shhh… it’s okay, try to breathe in and out, okay? You can do it, take your time”
When you finally explained the whole situation, he thought his heart was going to die
yes his heart did live a lot of thing-BUT YKWIM
His fans (the stars) were making fun of you on your social medias
"they did WHAT"
"WDYM IT'S OKAY??? its not!! omg, why didnt you tell me?"
"baby, omg... im so so sorry"
“Please, do not hate yourself. You are so amazing and so hardworking. You're so beautiful and so talented, i have no words to say how perfect you are to me”
“You’re always thinking of others before yourself, you always make sure that everyone’s okay, and you always find compassion and respect in people who clearly don’t deserve you”
he started having tears in his eyes
“ you are perfect, just the way you are.”
But you just couldn’t keep it in yourself anymore, it was too hard :((
“Baby, show me your phone, please. I need to see these”
“I am so sorry, my love. I am so so so sorry you had to live this and hide it from me…”
He stroke your cheek
“Why did you hide it from me…? I feel so bad, baby.”
“Baby, i would have care! I'm your boyfriend, you're my girlfriend! I do have a busy schedule, but I’ll always make time for you. Always.”
He sighed
“I always try to make time for you as much as i can, please do not think that your problems are bothering me. We are dating. Your problems are my problems too. You can’t hold everything on your shoulder and expect you to not fall. You need another person to help you holding all the problems off your shoulders and that person is me, okay, baby?”
When he went on his social medias, he blocked *each* star on the platforms
literally.
he also wrote on his social medias’ stories:
“Jsyk, if you can’t love my partner or at least respecting them by not writing hateful comments about them, please, stop following me. I would not accept any form of irrespect about me and the people im close to, even more if its about my wonderful partner. Do not write any hateful comments about my partner saying how’s they’re ugly or how they don’t deserve me (which is isnt true btw). If i ever see others comments like this ever again, you will be blocked. Me n the guys respect you, so we expect the same things coming towards you stars. I hope i won’t have to say it again, thank you.”
Let’s say that most of the comments about regie’s stories were like “omg, how dare some stars say hateful comments to y/n??” Or “istg, some stars really do not deserve the guys and y/n.”
“If it ever start again baby, please let me know. I won’t let my own fans treat you this way, okay?” Regie said while kissing your cheek
“I love you so much and nothing will change that. You are perfect the way you are, and even if you gained weight, or lost weight, or were looking like another person, or things like that, you’d still have my heart. you're so beautiful and no ones should decide how you dress and how you eat.”
Please, trust regie when he say things like that, you are so precious and so beautiful, like just look at you now, you are so cute and so pretty and beautiful and so cool
You are so stunning, like whoever write comments about you are so dumb, like idk what they are doing, but they are dumb, you look like a supermodel babe
Who’s Bella hadid? Idk, i only know you
PLEASE READ THIS:
Please, if you are in a situation like this or know someone in this situation, please talk about it to someone. A lot of ressources (such as 7cup who’s a website that can help you telling your problems or situations to random people. its totally free!) are there to help you. I am here too if you guys need something. Although, i am not a specialist and a therapist, i am always willing to listen and help you guys!
Please, do not keep this for you, this is not okay. If you can’t find someone to talk to, or feel too shy to talk about it, or can't find / afford a therapist, go on character.ai (or any other app, idk the names) and search for therapist ai in the search bar. It might sound weird, but it could (maybe) help you, since you are not talking to an irl person and it allow you to vent and be listened without having to feel ashamed if the person behind the screen judge you or not. (AI are not real therapist. do not consider every things the AI says. It's only a solution and can't be remplaced with real professionnals.)
Taglist! (Open! Send an ask if you’d like to be in it!) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0 @yawnzzznnn @ghostyycat7
Bold can’t be tagged.
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otakubells · 2 years
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Hi Tumblr!
How are you?
Sorry for the late visit. I know you know I've only ever come here to vent my frustrations in life. Well, here's a short update, i got married last year and after being married for 4 months, i decided to quit my job. It may have been quite an impulsive decision, a spur of the moment kind of thing, but know that resigning was already knocking on my head's door since 2019.
You asked if I disliked my job? No, not entirely. In fact, I've come to love it. Auditing was very challenging but it was interesting and i liked learning about my cases. I didn't like public speaking but I've come to love how we conduct seminars to educate our taxpayers (tho it always made me nervous). I liked my co workers too.
Despite this, there were cons too. I didn't liked how it felt like I only got a little time to work on my cases and it made me stressed because i always wanted to do a good job. I wanted to do more, but i wasn't able to and it was very frustrating. Over time the feeling of frustration turned to discouragement and my once burning passion died down.
Also, you've already known for a long time that I was quite the introvert type right? Well, that's also the part which brought so much stress for me at work. I had to deal with different kinds of people everyday. At first I challenged myself to face them, to face it -- my shy, aloof, no self-confidence self. I told myself i had to do it cause its part of my work and dealing with people is a must in all walks of life. I tried, i struggled hard. I think it paid off cause somehow i know i made improvements and that made me happy. But there came a time where work was so overwhelming and people were also very overwhelming that i cried myself to sleep everynight. Everyday felt like a battle I had to win and work felt like I was always standing at the tip of the cliff, and it felt like so many things were trying to push me down that cliff and I felt scared, everyday i felt scared. I was stressed, i was scared, i was anxious, it felt like i was drowning.
Everyday i fought. Sometimes I won, most of the times i lost and everytime i lose, i drowned in my thoughts and everynight it pulled me deeper.
I became disorganized and out of focus, my head was always full of things that i wanted to do but my body and mind cant keep up. I cant finish a single task because while doing one thing im thinking of another and everyday became full of distractions. My husband tried to pull me up several times but my mind was in a total mess and i always find myself drowning again. I also tried to help myself but i couldn't. I couldn't even take care of myself, i couldn't take care of the house, i couldn't take care of anything.
Then, there came a time when i felt like i was at my weakest, i had problems at home, i had problems at work, i had problems with myself. It was a time where i wished people would be a little bit kinder, but they weren't. I told myself i had enough and decided to pass my resignation letter thinking i could still find a job somewhere.
Now, I am currently a freeloader. I liked doing nothing. I liked feeling stress free. I am slowly getting back up to the surface again. But now i have new problems to face, it seems like i dont like the feeling of being useless, the feeling of depending on someone. I am scared that if I continue to be like this i would lose myself and i didnt want to feel that if i lose the person im depending now, i would become nothing, i would become empty. And now its eating my self esteem and self confidence again. I feel like life stopped beating. I tried finding jobs online, but everytime i read the job description, i doubt myself. Can i do it? Am i capable? What if I dont qualify? What if i cant do it?
I have been overthinking a lot of things and i can't help it and thats why im here typing this long long post at 1 am. Coz my insomnia is visiting me and she's here for weeks now.
I A M L O S T!
Someone save me, coz i think im starting to drown myself again.
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frenchphobic · 2 years
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there is something very personal about showing internet friends a picture of your face
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youn9racha · 3 years
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can you do dilf tropes for skz? (each member has a dilf trope kinda thing) 🙏🏼
Ella’s Thoughts #14 (??) (requested)
hmm i’m not sure about that one, but i’ll give it a try. also i assume you mean it in a wholesome way, so i practically made it as them as dads 💀💀💀 i hope its not a problem.
Headcanons: Stray Kids as dilfs/dads
Chan
Unpopular opinion: i see chan being more of a stepdad dilf rather than a biological dilf (no i do not mean it like that, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER !!) he strikes me as the type to not want children but he would love to take care of them nonetheless. like a non-dilf dilf type of guy (like he is rn lmfao.) he does not by any means hates children, he would love to have kids with you if you both want to. he just feels having a kids is too much, and its enough that he serves as a father figure to not only seven boys, but also to some stays, i think he would better off taking care of the boys’ kids or your kids of a previous relationship rather than having actual ones.
BUT if he were to have kids, its not any different from the way he treats his members. i mean there‘s an obvious difference, but he would still be that goofy, caring yet slightly strict father who constantly looks after his kids, especially if his kid is a girl, but it wouldn’t be any different if his kid was a boy as well.
oh and he’s a silver fox dilf like i’ve mentioned in the past :)
Minho
I mean ain’t he technically a dilf (along with chan) ???? mans already has three cats, ain’t that enough ??? no jk, minho’s the type of dilf who’s very chill and nonchalant about the way he’s handling his child. Like he strikes me as the type of dad dilf who would ignore his child’s cry for attention, but obviously it would be a totally different story if his kid, lets say, gets injured, there he would be this comforting dad who would both tend his child’s wound and also try to make them smile by making goofy sounds and faces.
I can also see him enabling his child’s chaotic antics. as long as no one’s hurt or crying, he’s not stopping them.
all in all; Minho’s a 3 c’s dilf; chill, chaotic yet cherishing.
Changbin
Oh boy is this man’s a child. i think he’d be more like Minho, but has a little bit of Chan element to it. He has the tendency to be very childish and he allows himself to be kid-like with his kids, however he does happen to discipline his kid when his kid has done something wrong. He still however acts all goofy and he sometimes makes baby faces and noises to his kid in order to make them laugh when they’re younger, or endearingly embarrass them when they get older
He‘s definitely more freeing than Chan, but he’s less lenient than Minho when it comes to parenting, however he’s a baby dilf, so be it.
Hyunjin
Again, this man’s already a father of a dog, kami, so he’s a technically dilf as well. He’s the type of dilf who’s very stylish and attractive to anyone of all age demographics, and he knows it. He would also SPOIL THE SHIT out of his child. he may also match his child with his outfit. like if i’m wearing burberry, my child’s wearing burberry.
All in all, Hyunjin’s a stylish rich daddy >:)
Jisung
How can someone gives off teen dad vibes despite being in his twenties and does not even have a pet, let alone a child? for some reason, jisung gives off that vibes. Don’t get me wrong, he’d definitely be affectionate and caring, but you can’t tell me that this man isn’r the most unprepared and anxious dad ever. Like every new parent, he does feel scared to carry a baby, in fear of dropping it, but his child would be 18 years old and he’d still be anxious as fuck.
All in all, he’s a caring and kind dilf but this man is a nervous wreck, he’s a cause for disaster most time. But he is cute, so he can get a pass lmffaooo.
Felix
ngl i’ll probably cry writing this…. cry of laughter, because gOD IS HE MORE EMBARRASSING THAN JISUNG !!! idk whats my vendetta against felix, but on god i love this kid so much. YES KID, because you going take care of two kids rather than one, you’re a single parent, i’m sorry.
in all seriousness, he’s a child parent, and he often is seen silding down the slide with his child in his lap. He constantly makes that baby voice he makes at times. He’s also the perfect guy to read his kid a bed time story, and he would also have a bake day with his child as well <3333 nahh he’d be an adorable ass dilf no joke.
Seungmin
this man… he is a savage in itself, and you think his kid, the literally creature that came out of his testes, would get a special treatment? think again, because he would absolutely drag his child through the mud. i obviously don’t think this man would do anything to hurt his child, emotionally or physically. think of it as a father-child banter between them. bonus if his child happens to have the same personality as him.
he does get all intimidating when mad, which envokes fear onto anyone close to him, however i still do think he’d be a fine ass dilf…. he just needs to shut his smart ass up before i beat him and his child u—
Jeongin
He’s giving felix and jisung here as well. clueless, scared, and anxious. mans a baby, why the fuck would you give him a child? he’d hold the child with his eyes wide open and be like “…. wait thats mine?! help me!” in a panicking voice making him and the baby cry.
he would be the type of dad who would let his child off the hook most of the times. he gives off “my child isn’t wrong, you are” vibes highkey. He also is the type of dad who would yell at his child for not cheating at an online class. what i’m saying is he’s a weird dilf thats all im saying lmfao
oh you disagree ? THATS TOO BAD I DON’T CARE !!! //j
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harrywritingsbyme · 4 years
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A normal smut, until Y/n starts crying after sex. OR she has zero experience but reads a lot of stuff and tries to replicate it. A little clumsy but Harry takes care of her and teaches her
Take It Slow
Based Off Of This Ask
A/N: I love the idea of firsts between Harry and Y/n so I’m thinking about doing ‘A Series of Firsts’ and writing a short ‘series’ of blurbs about first times between Harry and Y/n. I just think they’re so hot and cute at the same time🥰🥰. Anyways, Enjoy 🙃
When it came to sexual situations with Harry, you were a little bit intimidated and nervous. You knew for a fact that he had far more experience when it came to sex than you did. Even though he told you that he’d go at your pace, you still wanted him to be satisfied. So you did a little research. Your search went from how to give a good blowjob to the best sex positions. You thought that by reading up on some things, it would prepare you for when the time came for you to actually do it. That brings you to where you were now. You were in the midst of a heavy make out session with Harry when you decided to propose what you wanted to do with Harry.
You pull away from his lips and the both of you are slightly out of breath.
“You have the prettiest and softest lips.” He admires, before bringing his hand up to your face, smoothing his thumb across your lips. He cups your cheek before leaning in to press a final kiss to your lips.
“I wanna suck your cock.” You blurt out. When Harry processed what you said, he was very glad that you were sitting against his thighs. Because not only did his eyes go wide, but his cock twitched in his pants too.
“You want t-. Y’want to suck m’cock?” Harry stammers.
“Yeah. Only if you want to though.” You rush out the last part. His reaction made you want to curl up in a ball and hide. What if he didn’t want to do anything besides make out with you?
“Of course I want to kitten, I just wanna make sure that you want to. If you don’t then that completely fine with me.” Harry reassures. Normally Harry wouldn’t turn down a blowie. But with you he didn’t want to rush things. He knew you didn’t have a lot of sexual experience and he didn’t want to scare you off when it came to sex. You meant a lot to him and the last thing he wanted was for sex to drive a wedge between you two.
“I really want to do this. I think I may need a little help though.” You whisper.
“Don’t worry, I’ll guide you through it all.” He gives you a soft smile before gliding a finger across your cheek. You get off of his lap and you get on your knees in front of him. He spreads his legs for you and you crawl between them. You rest back on your calves. When Harry looks down at you, he couldn’t help but curse under his breath. “You just look so pretty on your knees.” He explains to you. While you were insecure about not having any sexual experience, Harry couldn’t get enough of how innocent you were. Just the thought of teaching you how to do things and being the only one you would do them to, got him really worked up. You look towards his lap, and from this angle you could see the large tent in his pants. You knew he was big, you just didn’t know how big he actually was. You then lean forward, reaching for the waistband of his joggers. You do this quietly, only mumbling a small thanks when Harry lifted his hips up from the couch. You were trying to remember the tips the article you read gave about giving a blowjob.
“Okay.” You breathe out. Seeing his cock like this was definitely intimidating. He was really big and you were starting to wonder if he could actually fit in your mouth or anywhere on your body for that matter.
“Just relax kitten, take your time and do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Im right here if you need help.” He reassures you, pushing back some hair that fell in your face.
“I need some help.” You look up at him.
“Thats fine baby.” He reaches his hand out towards yours which were resting on his knees and picks one up in his hand. “The first thing you do is wrap your hand around-“ he cuts himself off with a gasp when he feels your hand on him.
“Are you okay.” You lift yourself up slightly, wanting to make sure he was okay.
“M’fine, s’just your hand s’really soft and warm ‘round me.” Harry pants. You bite your lip when he says this. Hearing him react to your touch is giving your confidence a big boost. “Okay, now y’wanna move your hand up and down like this” he instructs. He keeps his hand on yours guiding your hand up and down his shaft. He lets go, and you continue to move your hand on him. Your movements weren’t the most coordinated, but you figured you were doing something right if he was moaning like this.
“Like this?” You ask him.
“Perfect.” Harry pants. Harry has never been this sensitive, but being with you sent his senses into overdrive. Seeing you on your knees with your significantly smaller, soft hand wrapped around his cock was unbelievable. Seeing how focused you were on making him feel good didn’t help either.
You decide to do a little more than what he showed you. You continue to slowly stroke him, but while you do that, you run the pad of your thumb against the head of his cock.
“Fuck Y/n” Harry grunts before dropping his head back against the couch.
“Can I do something else?” You whisper to him.
“Of course kitten.” Harry replies. You lean in even more and you open your mouth a little before wrapping your lips around the head of his cock. “Oh my- fuck Y/n” Harry yells out. His hands fly to his face, given that he didn’t know where to put them. He wanted to wrap his hands in your hair but he decided against it because he wasn’t quite sure whether or not you wanted him to. He wanted to make you feel comfortable, not scare you away and make you feel uncomfortable.
You continue to suckle on the thick head of his cock, keeping your hand wrapped around the rest of him. Just sucking on the head alone made your mouth full, so you could only imagine how full your mouth or pussy would be with the rest or all of his cock. Hearing the moans falling out of Harry’s mouth was not only boosting your confidence, but it was also making you a little wet. You decide to take a bit more of him into your mouth and you decide to try out one of the things you read online. You push your head all the way down, taking him deeper into your mouth. This was a big mistake though. As soon as you do this, you immediately gag around him. Harry is quickly snapped out of his blissful state when he sees you struggling below him. He quickly tugs on your hair for you to come off of him. When you do, you’re panting, trying to catch your breath.
“Baby, why did you do that?” He asks, you could hear the concern in his voice.
“I just wanted to make you feel good.” You sigh up at him.
“Kitten, you make me feel good all of the time. You made me feel so good when we were kissing a few minutes ago.” Harry leans down to stroke your cheek. “We can stop if you want, I don’t want you to push yourself when you’re not comfortable.”
“No, I wanna make you cum. Please?” You tell him.
“Okay sweet girl, just don’t push yourself” He reminds you before sitting back against the couch.
“Would I be sweeter if I had your cock in my mouth?” You bite your lip, giving him a soft and innocent look, before you wrap your hand back around his cock.
“Who knew an innocent girl like you had such a-“ before he can finish his thought, you push the head of him back into your mouth. “Bloody hell” his head instantly falls back when you take him back into your mouth.
Whenever you tightened around his shaft you could only think about how tight your walls are. He knew for a fact that you were extremely tight. His mind then wandered to how many of his fingers you could take inside of you or how much he’d stretch you out. He couldn’t fathom how good you’d feel wrapped around his cock.
You open your eyes, and you notice the hand that wasn’t gripping onto the couch cushion was digging into his thigh. So you use your free hand to move his hand from his thigh to your hair.
“Y’want me t’pull your hair kitten?” He pants. You look up at him and you nod, still keeping his cock in your mouth. When he tightens his grip on your hair, you let out a moan around him.
“Fuck, m’gonna cum” Harry sighs. You suck on him a little bit harder before pulling him out of your mouth completely. You tug your hand all the way up his shaft and back down, spreading your saliva to the rest of him. You fasten your hand around him, making sure to tighten your hand a little bit more. You wrap both hands around him, putting him back into your mouth and you swirl the tip of your tongue around the head. When you do this, you feel ropes of his cum begin to pour into your mouth. When he’s done, you pull off of him, and you make sure to swallow every last drop of his cum. “Oh my- did you swallow?” Harry is completely shocked at this.
“Yes, and before you say that I didn’t have to, I know I didn’t. I wanted to. It didn’t taste bad, so why not swallow.” You reply to him. You sponge a small peck to the head of his now sensitive cock and you help him pull up his boxers and sweats. You stand up from the carpeted floor snd you fall back into his lap. “Ive never been on my knees for that long before.” You were being completely honest, but you also wanted to get a little reaction out of Harry.
“Well thats good to know. But considering how fast you made me cum, I’d consider you to be a professional.”
“Well if you stick around, it’s only gonna get better.” You lean in and you press your lips onto his. You could feel Harry’s tongue pressing against your lips, so you part them for him, allowing him to explore your mouth. His tongue glides against yours and he could taste his cum in your mouth, which causes him to let out a low moan (because if he was being honest, it didn’t taste that bad) before pulling away from your lips.
“I think you know more than you’re letting on.” Harry says with a suspicious smirk.
“Maybe I do know a little something, but I’d much rather you teach me.” You smirk back at him.
“Oh I’ll teach you alright” Harry pulls you higher up on his lap, sitting you right on his hardening cock before slamming his lips back onto yours.
Even though you weren’t that experienced, you had nothing to worry about. You were confident that your lack of experience wasn’t going to come in between you and Harry. You were also confident that Harry was going to be a very excellent teacher. All you had to do was take it slow.
Masterlist
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Text
Pink Chains Sequel
The oldest. Male, twin. Souta.(Means A sudden wind or sound)
The middle. Male. Twin. Kaito. (Means sea or ocean)
Youngest. Female. Kana. (Means powerful)
@galagcica @squeaky-ducky @kozushiki @haikyuu-but-low-iq @lunebabie @derpeedoo @kayisweird @zopzoop
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“We do now!!!!” You told him, rubbing your stomach
“Swee..sweetie are you serious?” He climbed over the desk grabbing you and pulling you between his legs.
“Yep!!! Surprise Kyo!!!”
He was a little shocked for a few minutes, you were telling him how excited you were but he could not register it. A kid, not one but three. Will they be like him? Scary? Will they think hes scary?!?
“Kyo?” You lightly tugged his shirt so he would look at you. “Kyo whats wrong?”
He squeezed you sighing deep. “Im nervous sweetie thats all.”
You laid your head on his chest. “Well.. i am too . But! I have you to help and you have me. Not to mention all your friends. “ you took his ring hand to hold it and nuzzled his sleeve. “I love you, we will be fine Kyo.”
Kyo took in a deep breath and kissed your head. “Yeah, we will. I love you so much sweetie.”
It was an interesting nine months for everyone. Kyo had gotten his friends together for beach volleyball one night , you were there too but you were sitting with a sundress on looking excited.
“Soo...” Iwaizumi said, rubbing his head. “Whats this about?”
Oikawa and Mattsun were stumped too, so was Yahaba. Bokuto was trying to piece it together as well.
You got up and turned to the side and Kyo put his hand on your stomach. “Well... lets just hope you can deal with more of me”
Safe to say Kyo got tackled into the sand by everyone.
Time Skip to the kids being 7.
💕Kyo and Reader still live in his home. Iwaizumi does too since he owns the basement half of the house.
💕Chicken Legs had trouble adjusting to the children but Readers cats have helped relax and calm him. He's not so shaky anymore.
💕King is the kids number one fan. He is always there to help them with a prank on their father or to help them up and down the stairs.
💕Rex gets brushed every five minutes and he *loves it*. Kana also likes putting ribbons on his tail.
💕Mango is carried around everywhere by Kaito because he is small and “fun to carry”
💕The twins get up to no good alot. Souta is like the wind, no one ever knows if he's gonna do something. Kaito is more calm, like the ocean . But just like his brother, he's right there to lend a hand in mischief
💕Kana is attached to Kyo and Readers hip nearly 24/7 because she is scared of everything. She was tiny at birth. A “runt of the litter” Kyo called it, which gave her the nickname “Kana Pup” by Kyo. Everything is bigger than her and she doesn't like it. She's scared of Oikawa and it makes him sad.
💕Kyo and Reader own a bigger building together that they turned into The Dog House. They sell apparel but with Readers designs now too. The kids hangout at the shop usually after school.
💕The building has an upper floor or office area where Reader works on new designs / manages the finances while Kyo works the floor.
💕Souta and Kaito spend their days greeting customers and telling them specials (as best they can) . If Kana is not with her mother she is with Kyo at the register coloring under the desk so no one can see her.
💕kyo does not know what to do about Kana, he's worried she won't have friends and isolate herself. Iwaizumi suggests a hobby or club for middle school and Oikawa suggests volleyball.
💕its at the beach Kana realizes how fun volleyball is. She even lets Oikawa show her how to play.
💕Mattsun still has his tattoo shop. Kyo now has a back piece too. It's three wolf pups .
💕Kana joins the volleyball club
💕the twins join an art club and it is very interesting to them . Souta & Kaito are naturals at coming up with designs
💕iwaizumi babysits when Kyo and reader need alone time at the house
💕every now and then Kyo will check in on his kids at night, he leans on the wall of the door just watching them sleep. It's been a few years since they were born and he's still dumbfounded he could make such blessings
💕Kanas first game is a little rocky, she's nervous about people watching her. That is until Bokuto yells for the stands ‘all eyes on you because you are the star of this court!!!’ . She pulls through and turns out she spikes just like her father. They win because of her. Reader cries tears of joy and the twins are going nuts , Kyo pulls reader close kissing her
💕The twins debut a simple design. It's a crow with its wings out with a chain collar on its neck. Their parents love it.
Time skip to HighSchool
💕The kids go to Karasuno
💕The twins are in a design/business club
💕Kana is the wing spiker of her team. She is tall like her father and brings her team to Nationals.
💕Mattsun has a pretty little happy girl come into his shop one day asking for a fluffy kitty tattoo . Mattsun thanks god this is happening and gets her number
💕Oikawa & Iwaizumi still work at the Dog House. Oikawa now has the same volleyball tattoo his friends have. Iwaizumi helps the twins bring their designs up to sell online
After High School.
💕Kana plays for the Black Jackals. The twins have a successful online business selling their designs on different things.
💕Kyo and Reader have expanded the Dog House and it has more locations now.
💕Every friday night they spend their time laying on Kyos car with music on watching the stars in their backyard.
The end 💕
Little bonus mini drabbles!!
“raaaa!!!!!” Yelled Kaito
“Aaaarrgg!!!!” Yelled Souta.
Kana had her ears covered and had Chicken Legs laying down next to her with his paw over his eyes. She was sitting on the floor coloring in her book when her siblings rushed down the stairs with toilet paper and heavy eye makeup on their face and body. King, Rex and Mango were close behind with equal amounts of toilet paper on them too. This was a regular saturday...
Iwaizumi was on the couch watching these terrors run around the house . He pat Kana on the head counting quietly. “And 5...4...3...2...1...” The garage door could be heard and the twins and dogs stopped. Heavy steps and giggling were getting closer.
“Kaito.”
“Yes Souta?”
“It appears we are going to die today”
“Yes i believe so.”
Kana peaked at Iwaizumi and he just gave her that smile that made her get red in the face. The door opened and you and Kyo saw your kids covered in toilet paper and makeup. The dogs too. Kyo rubbed between his eyes and you giggled going over to Kana who was holding her arms up to you.
“Souta?”
“Yes Kaito?”
“It was nice knowing you.”
“Likewise”
(Whenever Kyo asks Iwai why he allows this he just shrugs and says “hey they aint my kids 😋”)
*💕
Kyo had picked the kids up from school and went straight into work. No one minded that the kids were there, they behaved. Mostly.
“Welcome to The Dog House!!!” Yelled the twins“The finest dogs and the biggest house!!! At your service!!!!”
Youd never seen so many metal heads giggle and chuckle like little kids before. Kana though, was under the register coloring and leaning on her fathers leg. Kyo leaned on the register looking down at his daughter.
“Kana pup”
“Papa..?” She asked, looking up, brushing her hair from her face.
“Do you wanna greet customers with your brothers?
She shrugged pulling the book closer. “N-no..”
He rolled his shoulders looking back up to see his friends frowning at him.
“Maybe a club will help”
“Or volleyball!!!”
*💕
The twins were running around the beach with Mattsun chasing them , Kyo, Iwa, and Kawa were tossing the ball to each other. And you were sitting on a towel under an umbrella with Kana clinging to your arm. You had noticed she was fixed on what her father was doing and you signaled to get his attention and pointed at yoir daughter.
“Kana pup.” He said, catching the ball. “Cmere for a second.”
She shook her head and you rubbed her side.”just for a second baby.”
Kana gets up joining her father and he crouches down behind her. “Put your fists together , be still okay?”
“ dont.. wanna get hit..”
“You wont i promise.” He nodded to Iwaizumi and he lightly tossed the ball to Kana . “Now just move your wrist down. Then connect with the ball semding it up”
As soon as the ball hit her wrists she whined turning around to hug her father. “Kana, look.” He turned her head . The ball was in the air . “You did it.”
“I.. i hit it.”
“Maybe Oikawa can explain better.” He said, getting up and Oikawa crouched down next to her. Kana whined giving him a scared look and he just held his hands out to recieve the ball.
“Its easy, promise!” The ball bounced off his wrists.
After a few tries Kana got the positioning right and even asked Oikawa to help and show her more.
*💕
One night Mattsun is at his shop filling in his laptop with appointments, transactions, bills. Its late, maybe almost 10. He liked to stay open when he had late nights like this. No one ever came by but.. it made him hope someone would. Mattsun was covered head to toe in tattoos. The bell dinged and he looked up from his desk and fell forward.
It was a girl; pink shoes, dyed highlighted pink hair, a white belly top and shorts. “Hey Mr!!!! Can i get a tattoo please?! A fluffy kitty or kitten? Do you do those? “
Mattsun smiled up at his ceiling . “Whoevers watching , thank you.”
He looked back over at the huffy girl. “Yeah i can do that Kitty, let me get a sketch going and you can tell me what you think.” He said with a very big smile. “Whats your name?” He asked , going around his desk to his wheely chair .
“Y/n!! “ the girl skipped over sitting in the chair criss cross. “Can you do it here?” She pointed to her inner thigh .
Mattsun thanked whoever was watching over him again but in his head. “I sure can y/n. I sure can.”
“No no!! Kitty!! I like it.”
Mattsun had a silly grin on his face now. “Okay kitty”
*💕
Its late at night and the only one up is Kyo. He was leaning on the wall watching his kids, ‘how did i get here?’ He asked himself while eyeing his bruised knuckles. Slowly he looked up. “I love you guys so much...”
“And i love you.” He heard behind him. A giggle too.
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Text
Ocean Eyes - Part 11
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A/N- OMG i finally updated!!
Please like/comment/share if you like this. Seeing that people are actually enjoying this fic makes me wanna write more lol 💕💕
I got next to no sleep, i just laid in bed going over and over the things Chris had said....was he being serious?? or was it the alcohol talking??
Finally giving up on sleep at 5:30am i got up and dressed and decided i needed to talk to someone about all this. When i went downstairs i made a cup of tea and grabbed Chris's coat from the back of the chair then headed outback, Dodger following behind me.
I walked down to the pool area and sat down at the table and chairs that were next to it where i was far enough away from the house to have a private conversation. I unlocked my phone smiling at the photo of Chris, Scott and Mason before scrolling to my recent contacts and hitting call.
"Hello" she answered after two rings.
"Hey ma, i didnt wake you did i?"
"No sweetheart, you know me I've been up since 5am"
"Thats because you're crazy" i chuckled.
"why are you up this early? This is very unlike you"
"Ive not really slept..... mom something happened with Chris last night and i'm kinda freaking out...."
"Oh god please tell me you haven't slept with him already....."
"No! Jesus Ma...."
"Thats good, so what happened?"
"Well after Mason went to bed last night i stayed up with Chris and Scott, we had a few drinks and just hung out you know? Everything was fine until Scott went to bed" i started explaining shaking my head, i told her all about Chris ending things with his girlfriend, about him getting jealous about Derek and then i dropped the kicker.... Chris confessed to still loving me and wanting a second chance!
"Wow, thats alot to take in"
"Tell me about it! Ive been up all night going over it again and again"
"So what did you tell Chris?"
"I just said that we needed to talk about this when we were both sober. I mean he could wake up and forget he even said any of this to me last night"
"Would you still bring it up if he does forget?"
"I don't know Ma, i don't know what to do"
"Only you can answer that, i can't tell you the right thing to do here baby. All i know is that you have loved that man since i can remember, even when he left and broke your heart you still loved him"
"You love who you love right?.... i just feel like an idiot" i mumbled picking at the sleeve of Chris's coat nervously.
"You're not an idiot"
"I feel like one!"
"Just talk to him, take things slow.... maybe use this time together to get to know eachother again before you decide on anything. Also, just remember this effects Mason now"
"Thats what makes it worse ma" i quickly wiped away a tear that rolled down my face, Dodger came over putting his face in my lap and i smiled as i scratched behind his ear. When i looked up my breath caught when i saw Chris slipping out the sliding door and heading my way.
"Shit, he's coming over.... i gotta go Ma. I'll call you later"
"Okay sweetheart, good luck.... deep breaths, i love you"
"Love you too, bye".
I locked my phone and placed it on the table before wrapping Chris's coat tighter around me. Dodger spotted Chris and went bounding over to him excited to see him up and about.
"Morning, you're up early" he said before sitting in the chair beside me.
"Morning, i couldn't sleep. Thought id call my mom to check in"
"All the way out here?"
"Its early i didn't want to wake anyone up" i shrugged picking up my tea taking a mouthful.
"You sure thats all it was?"
"Mmhmmm"
"You're not hiding from me after last night?" He raised his eyebrows at me questioningly.
"So you remember what you said last night?"
"Of course, i wasn't that drunk" he scoffed reaching for my tea and helping himself to a few mouthfuls.
"Im not hiding, just.... thinking"
"About?"
"About what the fuck i'm supposed to do!"
"Do you love me?" He suddenly asked making me look up at him, into those eyes.... damn him!
"What?"
"Do you still love me? Its a simple question babe"
"Its not a simple answer Chris" i shrugged "i mean of course i do but i just..... the way you treated me before.... how do i know that wont happen again?"
"It wont i promise! I know how bad i messed up...."
"You say that now but i can't help but worry about you changing your mind.
You broke my heart when you left me and now we have Mason to think about.... i don't want him getting hurt if this doesn't work out again".
"So your answer's no? You wont give me a second chance?" He asked sadly his eyes tearing up, i forgot how emotional he could get.
"Maybe we should just spend this time together, get to know each other again and go from there?" I said taking my mom's advise.
"So you're not ruling it out completely? Its not a hard no?"
"Im saying maybe, just... baby steps" i smiled over at him and he nodded smiling back at me as he reached over and took my hand.
"I promise you i wont let you down again, i wanna be the man you deserve and the dad that Mason deserves"
"Id like that a lot, even though i hated you for what you did... i still missed you"
"I know, i missed you too"
"Lets go in im freezing" i said getting up, Chris was suddenly standing and pulling me into his arms holding me tight.
"Chris..." i mumbled into his chest as my hands landed on his waist.
"Im sorry i just needed to hold you"
I sighed and wrapped my arms around him... as nervous as this made me it felt so good to be in his arms again.
"I'll make things right again i promise" he mumbled pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
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The weeks were flying by and we were all still in lockdown, it was now May and there was no sign of anything changing just yet.
Chris was doing a lot of online interviews to promote his new show 'Defending Jacob', when these video chats took place Scott and I made sure to take Mason to another part of the house so he wouldn't interrupt.
Things with Chris and I had been going good, we wouldn't act any differently around Mason but once he was in bed we'd snuggle on the sofa.... we'd shared a few kisses here and there but thats as far as it had gone.
"Mom can we take Dodger for a walk?" Mason came running in from the backyard with Dodger diving on the sofa next to me.
"You better go ask your dad buddy"
"Dad!!!!" Mason yelled loudly making me laugh.
"Why are you yelling?? i'm right here" Chris said walking in from the kitchen with coffee's. Mason chuckled cuddling up to me suddenly going all silly.
"Why you getting all shy?" I asked as i run my fingers through his hair.
"I don't know" he mumbled hiding his face against me, Chris sat down next to him and picked him up pulling him into his lap.
"Whats up pal? Why was you calling me?"
"Mom said i had to ask you if we can take Dodger for a walk"
"Sure we can! Why don't you go get your shoes on and grab Dodgers leash while your mom and i finish our coffee then we'll go"
"Yes!! thank you dad!" Mason wriggled down from Chris's lap and run upstairs to the room he'd been staying in.
"Maybe it'll wear him out enough that he has a nap, kid has too much energy!" I said looking over at Chris.
"He loves walking Dodger thats all"
"So do i but not this much! Poor Dodge is probably begging for a rest!"
"He's fine, we'll just walk up the road a bit throw the ball around... we don't have to be gone long"
"I guess"
"You coming with us?"
"Yeah why not".
We walked Dodger as promised and let him and Mason run around playing fetch. Chris took me by surprise by grabbing hold of my hand pulling me close enough to kiss me.
"Hey! We said not in front of Mace...."
"He's not looking its fine" he laughed "so, i was thinking maybe you could stay in my room tonight?"
"And what if Mason catches us??"
"We'll say we're having a sleepover" he smirked.
"You're terrible!"
"You didn't say no though" he wriggled his eyebrows at me.
"I didn't say yes either. Mace, come on Bud we're heading back" i called out stepping away from Chris even though all i wanted to do was pounce on him!
As i looked over to where Mason and Dodger were playing i spotted a familiar car parked across the street outside of the gated area.
"You've got to be shitting me....."
"Whats wrong?"
"Thats Brian's car out there"
"What?!!! Are you sure?"
"Yeah"
"Im gonna kick this guys ass i swear to god...." Chris said as he started to storm towards Brian, i quickly grabbed his arm pulling him back.
"Lets just go back inside, call the police. I don't want you getting into trouble over that jackass. Just get Mason and Dodger and lets go. He cant get in here"
"Okay.... okay lets go" he whistled for Dodger who came bounding over followed by an out of breath Mason and we walked back up to the house locking ourselves safely inside while Chris called and reported Brian.
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Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes
Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina
@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave
@jakiki94 @torntaltos @my-dearest-agent @buchanansebba @ms-betsy-fangirl
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hufflautia · 4 years
Note
Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛
funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know 
why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them.  my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help. 
thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven
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horansqueen · 5 years
Text
You & Me : chapter 2
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
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CHAPTER 1 
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- notes: 1- haha syke (sort of lol)! 2-thats why i asked this question, now you know!
yes, thats the only notes you need lol! oh and FEEDBACK PLEASE! :) please tell me how you think their coffee “date” will go?? would mean a lot!
Chapter 2 : Her chapter
OLIVIA
"Honey! I'm home!" I yelled as I walked inside, closing the door behind me and throwing my purse on the couch.
"Kitchen, babe!"
I followed the voice with a small smile and leaned against the door frame as I watched him bend down to take something off the oven. I crossed my arms and stared at him, trying to suppress a chuckle. With a quick head movement, he pushed a lock of his hair out of his face and raised his eyebrows at me with a smirk. I moved closer to him, taking a few steps slowly as he put the cookies he had just not burned for once in a plate.
"You know your son is way too young for cookies, right?"
His eyes became smaller as he looked at me and it made me laugh even more.
"I made them for you, silly!"
"Louis, come on." I pointed out with a frown. "I just spent two hours tasting wedding cakes and you think i'm in the mood for cookies?"
With a grimace, he grabbed two cookies and put one in front of me before sitting next to me at the table. I made the cookie turn around as I stared at it, feeling suddenly a bit nervous. I wasn't really sure I wanted to have this discussion but I told Louis everything. I was surely not going to keep that kind of information from him.
"Okay my queen, talk to me, what happened?"
He slid his arm on the table until his hand reached mine. I let go of the cookie and gripped his fingers tight. His hand was warm, as it always was, but it took me a few seconds to look up in his eyes. When I did, my heart skipped a beat. He was clearly concerned and worried and I just shrugged a shoulder before looking down again.
"I saw Niall."
Suddenly, the grip of his fingers became tighter and I held my breath. Louis and I had been through so much together during the past year and I was scared this would somehow change the dynamic we had. I knew he kept talking with Niall from time to time but it was far from being the way it used to be between them. I never asked Louis to choose between us, and I never even made allusions to it for the simple reason that they were friends before we were and I knew he still considered Niall like a brother. Who was I anyway to decide who Louis could and couldn't hang out with?
That being said, Louis and I had worked on ourselves individually a lot. We both went to therapy, tried to follow our dreams, found love and learned to accept ourselves as full human beings. We didn't need love to be complete and we didn't need our soulmates either. Of course, it didn't feel so easy when Niall was close but if I wanted to be honest, I thought it would hurt a lot more to see him again.
"He was with his girlfriend?"
"No." I replied with a shrug before adding a 'thank god' in my head.
"How did that make you feel?"
I took a few seconds to think and finally looked up, my eyes meeting his as a small smile spread across my lips.
"It's... Niall, you know? I'll always feel something when he's around. That's what you said, right? Soulmates and all that?" He nodded slowly and I shrugged a shoulder. "I mean, I will love him forever but... he broke me, and I don't want to let him break me again."
Louis' face change and he sent me a sincere smile before nodding quickly this time. He squeezed my fingers and tapped my thigh a few times a bit too roughly.
"Ow!"
"That's my queen!"
He got up and kissed the top of my head, making me roll my eyes but chuckle. He walked to the fridge and took a beer out before opening it and throwing the cap in the sink. I stared again at the cookie on the table and swallowed, playing over and over the encounter I had with Niall in my head. He looked good and happy and I couldn't help but think that he never regretted his decision to break up with me. Of course, it took him a few months to get a new girlfriend but when he did, something inside of me died. I remembered exactly when I found out he was dating someone and it was probably the biggest slap in the face I had ever had. I cried for a week, wondering what the fuck was wrong with me. All I could think about was how his love for me, if it ever existed, was clearly not strong enough but even worse, he didn't even try to keep my friendship.
"You're thinking about him, aren't you?"
I sighed and closed my eyes for a few seconds as I tried to get my heartbeats back to a normal pace. I couldn't hide anything to Louis, even if I wanted.
"Not so much him but what I meant for him."
Louis walked back next to me and crouched down, one of his knees on the floor and his hand on my thigh. He waited until our eyes met and he raised his eyebrows.
"We've been through that, remember?" Louis pointed out in a soft tone. "He was scared to be trapped and he let go of the most important person in his life. You were not the problem, Liv."
"He's with someone now." I just said, shaking me head, after letting out a long sigh. "And with her too I mean, he replaced me with her."
Louis nodded very slowly, pressing his lips together and making the left corner of my lips raise up.
"Yes, besides you, my friend Neil has very bad tastes in women."
It was not true at all but I appreciated the lie and I tilted my head to stare at Louis. I had moved back to my apartment after Niall broke up with me and Louis was the one who had picked my stuff at Niall's for me. We hung out together and he's the one who pushed me to write what I wanted to write. My father agreed to make a special section for my story on his site and within a few hours, there were more views than any other page of the site. I found someone to play the male character and I gave myself the role of the female one until I got the e-mail that literally changed my life.
Netflix. I barely believed it and I had to read the e-mail twice but it turned out to be real and after some negotiation, my tv show was about to be re-made with a bigger budget and real actors and this time, it was going to be seen by way more people. I didn't have to insist to keep playing in it, they quickly agreed to that term of the contract and it surprised me. Apparently, I was not so bad of an actress, who would have known? That's why I moved to L.A. with Louis : to live a dream I wasn't even aware I had before, when I was dating Niall. There are so many things I didn't know when I was with him, including who I was. Now, it was different.
"So." Louis continued, getting up to grab his beer again. "Did you girls go with Liam's request and pick chocolate?"
I raised my eyebrows in amusement and my lips parted a bit as we stared at each other.
"How do you know that?"
Louis' smile turned into a smirk. "He asked me and I said I wanted chocolate too! So I said he should harass Julie and he said I should harass you. So I had to challenge him, and he lost."
My face twisted and I frowned, suddenly a bit scared.
"What was the challenge?"
"Oh, darling, you don't want to know." his accent had turned thicker and his smirk bigger, making me shake my head. "Trust me."
"You're right, I don't want to know."
He laughed a bit and moved his chin in my direction as he leaned against the counter, his beer still in hand. He took the last sip and put it away before swallowing and licking his lips. I loved Louis. I really, really loved Louis.
"So? Chocolate?"
I grimaced and sent him an offended look as I shook my head again.
"It's like you don't even know me!"
"What did you pick then?"
I didn't have time to answer. My lips just parted a bit before we both heard the doorbell. I jumped on my feet and we both rushed to the living room to reach the front door.
"Me!" I yelled as I tried to be faster than him.
"Oh please, it's clearly for me!"
I laughed as he pushed my hips with his and even more when both our hands ended up on the knob, twisting it at the same time without opening the door. We laughed and when the door finally opened wide, my smile grew.
"So, who won this time?"
I forgot the game I had with Louis and barely even heard my boyfriend's question. I just tilted my head and bit my bottom lip. He looked pretty and the way he smiled always got to me. Louis let him walk in and he just opened his arms, bending down slightly to wrap them around my waist and pull me up. I laughed like a school girl and looked down at him, bringing my lips against his.
"Clearly, I won." I whispered only for him to hear, licking my lips before kissing him again.
He chuckled against my mouth and finally put me down but I kept him close and deepened the kiss. The fact that we were still acting like new lovers was nice and I hoped it would never stop.
After moving here, we were about to cast auditions for the other characters but I was mostly nervous about the male lead since I was going to do most scenes with him and even kiss him. I was allowed to have a say in who they would pick but before we could even start the auditions, I received a message on twitter. My account was not private anymore and was even verified, which was something I never thought would ever be possible. I was not the kind of person who liked attention but it was still important for me to remain on social medias, even if I wasn't online as much as other people.
Most of the messages I was tagged in were about Niall and I couldn't blame his fans who asked about me but it was surprising to see it even after so long. At first, the tweets about some of them being 'devastated' by our break-ups made me cry but now I just felt nostalgic of what I once had with him. One time, though, I got a notification that I was tagged in a post and when I clicked on it, I choked on my coffee. Dylan O'Brien. Dylan fucking O'Brien had tagged me and had added 'would love to play in your show!'
After a few days of chatting online, we had finally decided to talk on the phone and I realized he was the funniest and sweetest guy in the world. It's only really the very first time I met him that I realized I had it bad, though. He came to the audition but in my head, the part was already his, and when our eyes met, I felt it inside of me. It could have been just me being starstruck but when he had smiled at me, my heart had fluttered in a way it hadn't since... since Niall.
"You two get a fuckin' room." Louis let out, but I could hear amusement in his voice.
I turned to him and he sent me a smirk just as I showed him my middle finger.
"I live here too, remember?" I asked jokingly.
The plan when we moved here was to buy a house together, support each other and spend as much time as we could with each other. Did Louis and I ever had sex after that infamous night? Maybe, but quickly, we had both stopped needing it. Not because we weren't in pain anymore, but because we had other distractions and other things to focus on. I hadn't received my first check yet but it was coming and I knew it. I couldn't wait to give some of my money to Louis for the house but only as a rent. He was keeping the house to live in it with his girlfriend while I had planned to move with Dylan very soon. Everything was falling into place, and just as I thought my life was exactly the way it was supposed to be, I saw Niall again.
"Yea well you two lovebirds will have the house for yourself tonight." Louis explained, grabbing his wallet from the coffee table and looking for his keys. "I'll be gone all night."
"Say hello to Eleanor for me!"
Louis sent me a smirk and a wink before walking up to us and bending down to kiss my cheek.
"Will do." he promised in a low tone. "Goodnight queen."
A few months earlier, I had heard Louis cry himself to sleep at night. It was not something unusual, I knew it happened from time to time since his mother had passed away, but I remember leaning against the wall of his room for half an hour, listening to him cry and crying with him. If he had wanted me to be there with him, he would have asked, I knew it, that's why I didn't knock or tried to talk to him, but at the same time, it was hard to handle, and I couldn't pretend I knew him as much as Eleanor did. He was also crying for her, I was well aware of that, and on that night, I had messaged her. I didn't have to beg her to come over, she just did. She literally took a fucking plane to come here and comfort him. If that's not love then I have no idea what is.
"Goodnight, pet."
Louis raised his eyebrows and pointed his finger at me. "Don't call me that, ever, remember?"
I just shrugged and laughed, feeling Dylan's hand grab my fingers gently as he chuckled too. He suddenly turned to me and raised his eyebrows.
"Oh hey, you were trying out wedding cakes today, how did it go?"
"She didn't pick chocolate mate, don't even bother." Louis grimaced, making Dylan smile more.
"Of course she didn't, i'd say..." he turned to me and his eyes got smaller as he pondered. "She hesitated and almost picked raspberry but ended up choosing.. strawberry and cream."
My lips curled and I shook my head. "How do you know me so well?"
"O'Brien, I hate you." Louis just said, slapping gently my boyfriend's chest. "Thanks for making sound like a loser."
"You're welcome!" Dylan joked as I rolled my eyes at their interaction.
I waited as Louis typed something on his phone and he finally looked up at us and smiled before leaving. As soon as the door closed behind him, I received a text message and walked up to my purse to look at it.
'Tell him!!!!' Louis had typed with clearly too many exclamation points.
I just sent him a thumb up and when I went back, I felt my lips curl very slightly at the sight of the emoji Niall sent me. It was good seeing him, it felt amazing to be near him. It was so hard to realize that my best friend was not my best friend anymore, and although I knew that life is just like that sometimes, it still hurt. This year away from each other was needed, at least for me, to find myself, but I always thought Niall would remain in my life forever.
"So strawberries and cream uhm?" Dylan said to catch my attention. "I can live with that."
I threw my phone on the couch and sighed with a smile, turning his way. I grabbed the front of his shirt and finally looked up in his eyes, licking my lips as his hands reached my waist.
"Can you live with me?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and making him chuckle low.
"Damn right I can."
He pulled me closer and kissed me, making my heart skip a beat. I had never compared Dylan to Niall but at that exact moment, I couldn't help myself. They were both smart, kind and funny, the main difference being that Dylan hadn't shattered my heart in pieces, at least not yet. The way they kissed was different too. Niall kissed me passionately, impatiently and deeply. Dylan kissed me gently, like I was something fragile, something important he didn't want to break, or simply because he wanted to take his time and feel every second of it. He kissed me like every kiss actually meant way more than we both thought.
I felt him deepen the kiss and my heart jumped again. I couldn't do anything with him before telling him about my day, and all I could see behind my eyelids was Louis' text message.
"Mm, I have something to tell you." I whispered against his lip, making him pull away immediately.
He stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes roaming on my face, and I suddenly felt extremely nervous. He was never the jealous type but I don't think anyone could enjoy their lover meeting again with their ex, especially knowing Niall and I's history.
"What's wrong, babe?"
"Nothing's wrong, no, don't worry." It wasn't a lie. I sent him a small smile and shrugged. "I just wanted you to know that... I saw Niall, today."
His eyebrows raised slightly but fell back down half a second later. He stared down at me, mostly trying to decipher how i felt about it instead to react to it, and it made something in my heart stir. He was perfect and I loved him, I really did.
"Are you okay?" he finally asked  gently after about a minute of silence. "How did it go?"
"It went... well." I admitted, nodding slowly and glancing down before looking up in his eyes. "He asked if we could meet again for a coffee but I didn't message him yet. I'm just not sure if I should go."
Dylan's lips curled slightly just as his eyebrows raised. "Not because of me, yea?"
I shrugged both shoulders, feeling suddenly embarrassed. One of the reasons why I was not sure was him, but an other part of me, a part I didn't want to show, was simply scared. I was scared that things wouldn't be like they used to be, I was scared that we wouldn't really get along, I was scared that the old me would resurface and I was scared... I was scared of the feelings I could have again if I spent time with him.
"You can go see him, Liv." he let out softly, bringing one of his hands to my face to caress my cheek with his fingertips. "Not that you were waiting for my approval or that you need it but, I know there's so many things you want to tell him and ask him and... it's normal. I can't even begin to understand the relationship you two had, all I know is... it was intense. There's some part of you that will always love him and I'm fine with that. Just... go. And you'll see."
Slowly, my lips curled as I stared at him. I brought my hand to his hair and slipped my fingers in it before sighing. I felt suddenly lighter and I was not sure why. Perhaps knowing that my boyfriend was fine with it helped.
I mouthed a 'thank you' and he smiled more, shaking his head.
"There's no reason to thank me." he just said, pulling me closer and kissing my lips. "I love you, Olivia."
I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes, inhaling him before squeezing him tighter against me. It felt good and I felt safe but I finally pulled away and smiled.
"Okay so food and a movie?" he proposed, raising his eyebrows before I grimaced.
"Oh I wish, I mean food, but i'm gonna have to eat in front of my computer." I explained with a sigh, letting my head fall lightly on my shoulders. "I need to write and my mind is lazy these days."
"Why don't you inspire yourself of what we're going through right now?"
I stared at him and raised my eyebrows at the idea before Dylan just chuckled and winked at me. I knew that to write something good, it had to be close to something I was living, but playing it on screen was about to be a challenge if I did that.
"I'll make food you just... work."
I thanked him and grabbed my phone before sitting in front of my computer. I started typing a few ideas here and there but the truth was, I couldn't stop thinking about Niall. Dylan was right, there were many things I wanted to tell him, many things I wanted to ask. but at the same time, I was well aware that I wouldn't be able to let it out all at the same time. I also knew we had to be in a public place, if only to be sure I wouldn't end up yelling or in tears.
'Coffee tomorrow afternoon, are you free? 🤪’
I didn't want to let Niall make me emotional the way I used to be when we were dating, or even before. He always had so much power over me and I didn't want him to anymore. I didn't want anyone to have to much power over me.
'Always free for you 🥰’
The emoji he picked made my lips curl and I quickly texted him a time and place before putting my phone away. I stared at my work on the screen and sighed to myself. I didn't really want to add Niall to my story, I was too scared of how realistic it would become, since my real boyfriend was already playing my on-screen boyfriend, and I decided to push this idea away.
Dylan came back with a plate of pastas and it made me wonder how long I had spent in front of an almost empty document. He sat to face me and my eyes moved up to him.
"I'm stuck."
"Did you message Niall? Are you gonna see him soon?"
I felt my heart skip a beat at his question but he kept staring at me as he brought the fork to his mouth. The fact that it was super casual for him made me squirm a bit on my seat. Was that a good or a bad thing?
"Yea, tomorrow afternoon."
"Good." he nodded, pushing the plate my way. I sent him a smile and started eating too. "Maybe it'll inspire you."
His eyebrows raised and he chuckled when some sauce landed on my shirt and I quickly tried to wipe it off, making him laugh even more.
"Guess you're gonna have to take it off." he just pointed out.
I looked up at him only to see a smirk gracing his face and I chuckled too, tilting my head. I pushed my plate away and leaned closer to him, sending him an amused smile and keeping my voice low.
"Maybe you should take it off yourself."
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the-angry-pixie · 5 years
Text
camboy AU... but make it romantic
Camboy Bill AU feat. the OT7.
- basic stuff really
- Bill is a camboy (billoncam) on those websites that I don’t know enough about to be able to give a name.
- and he does sessions every few days in private chatrooms
- mostly solo stuff - either a vibrator or dildo in his ass whilst jacking it to the camera
- his fans love him because he is really chatty and responsive. and when he gets really turned on, he stutters. he always moans and thanks the person when someone sends him a tip - its like the tip button is directly connected to his vibrator, the way he moans every time it *dings*
- he has regulars. people who always seem to tune in and leave lots of tips. he comes to recognise their usernames.
- “welcome mikey-mike. i hope you’re having a good week.”
- “its good to see you again bigdickrich, what filthy things are you gonna say to me today?”
- stuff like that.
- he holds competitions among viewers - whoever gives him the most tips in a session gets to choose a name for him to call out when he cums
- as a result billoncam ends up moaning out “oh fuck carsforeddie! oh fuck you feel so good carsforeddie! oh fuck OH FUCK!” a lot.
- like previously stated, he’s known for his highly interactive solo stuff but every now and then his audience gets a guest appearance from other people. it always seems to be the same guys but we never get to see their faces 
- one has lovely golden skin that matches his golden curls that Bill loves to grab onto when he’s fucking him
- the other is this buff dude with dark blonde body hair that makes the most delicious sounds when he’s railing Bill
- thats right, billoncam be versatile as fuck
- even more versatile than first anticipated because one time during a session Bill is holding a photo on his phone up to show the camera and he accidentally swipes to the next photo which is of some redhead woman lying on a bed in lingerie
- the comment section goes wild and Bill is like “oh fuck, oh fuck you weren’t meant to see that, ah ha ha ha lets forget that happened pls” and he goes on with the session. trying to ignore all the questions hounding him about who the fuck that was and why was she on his bed??
- two days later when billoncam is next scheduled to cam it is immediately obvious that things are very different when the session starts on a shot of Bill sitting fully-clothed talking straight to camera
- “thanks for tuning in everyone. I just felt I wanted to do something a bit different today. There’s been lots of discussion and questions about what happened the other day and I’ve thought about it a lot and have decided that I would like to be honest with you. This is a part of who I am and I don’t want to feel ashamed of that. So the truth is... I’m bisexual. And this...”
- Bill holds up his phone showing a photo of Bill and the redhead from the lingerie photo hugging each other and smiling giddily at the camera
- “... this is Bev. She’s my girlfriend.”
- again, the comment section goes wild. Obviously Bill has been camming himself on a website for gay men and well... gays can still be mean and weird sometimes when it comes to bisexuality.
- “I know. I know. It’s not what you’ve come to expect from me. I’m sorry if you’re offended or something. Well actually I’m not sorry at all. I would never be sorry for being in love with Bev. She’s my rock. We’ve been together for so long and she means the world to me. And the only reason I’m showing her face on here is because she’s given me full permission. In fact she has her own camming channel. Which I can link you to if there are any fellow bi’s out there.”
- Because the internet is the internet, Bill notices he’s losing viewers quickly, but he’s kind of happy to note that some of his regulars are among the ones being super supportive
- sitonthis: you’re not really gay. get the fuckk outta here!
mikey-mike: thanks for being honest with us Bill. I’m bi too and some people on here need to be quiet and stop being rude.
erotic-cum-on-my-hole: where’s the dick??
bigdickrich: daaaaaaaaaaamn Bill. she’s fuckign hot! gimme dat link please >______>
br000ny: sick of these bi s trickin on us. im out.
carsforeddie: YO EVERYONE NEEDS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE BILL ALOONE!@! WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO DATE BILL?! HE’S FUCKING GORGEOUS AND PERFECT!! I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ALL NEED TO MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT RIGHT THE FUCK NNOW!!e@!
- but it doesn’t stop there. Bill has more to tell. He doesn’t get naked at all that session. But he does come clean about being polyamorous. Apparently Bill and Bev were together for years before she started dating Ben. Who then eventually started dating Bill as well (mystery solved on who buff dude is). And then a little while after that Bill started dating Stan who also began dating everyone else eventually (mystery number two solved on who golden curls is)
- of course to respect privacy Bill doesn’t give names or photos for those two (they’re not into camming and only ever fuck Bill on cam as a favour cause they know Bill loves it so much). But he does wax poetic for a further half an hour on just how much he loves all his partners and then unexpectedly signs off.
- billoncam disappears for awhile. his sessions just suddenly stop. his fans reckon its probably got to do with the negative response he got to coming out as bi. 
- they try to reach out to him on his social media but never with any luck. its funny, billoncam’s sessions have weirdly become a bit of community thing. its strange. the regulars all kind of know each other and it feels wrong to not be coming all together (pun not intended) a few times a week on Bill’s channel. but whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore because it seems billoncam is no more. he’s been scared away.
- struggling radio personality Richie Tozier is definitely not expecting to run into Bill aka. billoncam in a random Los Angeles Starbucks one day. But he does. Thats him. That’s totally fucking him. The only way Richie could be more sure is if Bill whipped his junk out in the middle of this cafe.
- Richie is so stunned he can’t even think what to say. How to approach this guy that he has been jacking off to for the last year or so. 
- He ends up chasing Bill down the street and kind of pouncing on him. 
- Bill is understandably wary at first. But of course he’s kind of charmed by this nervous motormouth with his ridiculously syrupy-looking frappuccino concoction. Its strange how familiar he seems. He almost whispers the name to himself just as Richie practically yells “Oh by the way. I’m bigdickrich. Did I mention that? I might have forgotten to mention that. Fuck!”
- And well, a week or two later... billoncam makes a comeback suddenly.
- And he’s got a companion. A companion who is showing his face. Bill’s regulars know they definitely haven’t seen this guy (or his body) before but they don’t mind at all since the session is so much more intense because they can see both participants for once. And this new guy is very cute. In a hairy, gangly, bedraggled kind of way.
- Bill introduces the guy as his new friend. He says his new friend convinced him to come back online. And his new friend even gave permission for their first time together to be filmed live.
- New Friend’s eyebrows wiggle at the camera behind his thick dark-framed glasses
- this sends a thrill through the audience obviously. such an intimate thing that theyre witnessing. New Friend doesnt seem to mind though. In fact he seems to lap up the attention and is very willing to take suggestions from the audience of just what he should do to Bill. 
- the vibrator and dildo remain untouched on the bed that day. 
- and its right at the end, still panting and sweating and coming down from their highs that Bill mentions that his New Friend is a previous audience member.
- “some of you might recognise the username. This is bigdickrich. Sooo... I guess we now know he wasn’t exaggerating with that name ha ha” to which Richie just grins at the camera holding his hands up under his chin.
- the comment section goes BONKERS!
- carsforeddie: THAT ANNOYING CRUDE SON OF A BITCH!! WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THE UNIVERSE SO UNFAIR! FUCK!”
mikey-mike: good for you bigdickrich. you’re a real lucky guy. 
twinksfordays: i want to choke on bigdickrich’s cock
carsforeddie: HOW?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! EW I JUST JACKED IT TO THAT ASSHOLE! FUCK I NEED TO SHOWER”
- Bill and Richie giggle and converse with the commenters for awhile and then sign off.
- billoncam returns to regularly camming again. much the way he was before. mostly solo. though sometimes with guest stars. and Richie becomes a more and more frequent feature. He’s the only one (besides Bev popping in now and then) who shows his face.
- and then, billoncam hits 100,000 subscribers
- and Bill. Well he has to make it special right? So he auctions himself off. There has to be some careful wording and labelling so that he can’t be done for prostitution but... essentially Bill auctions off the chance for him to travel and spend the night with the highest bidder.
- of course carsforeddie is not going to let this opportunity slide by him. He’s a successful businessman. He might only be 25 but he’s got money to burn and he’s been loving lusting after billoncam for a LONG TIME
- its undisclosed just how much Eddie Kaspbrak, luxury car rental business owner ends up paying for billoncam to fly to New York and spend the night with him - for legal reasons obviously. And no, Eddie does not give permission for the deed to be filmed.
- But! Its perfectly legal to say that the 2nd time Bill fucks Eddie - the 3rd, the 4th, the 5th and the 6th and all the times that follow - are done completely for free!
- Ben jokes to Richie privately about them going to need to move into a bigger house if Bill keeps adding people to this relationship.
- It becomes less of a joke and more of a reality as Eddie moves permanently to Los Angeles 6 months (and lots of trips to LA) later.
- And thats it. Theyre nearly there. There’s just one more thing missing. One more piece to the puzzle. Bill doesn’t know why he feels this way. He just does.
- Luckily Mike Hanlon (aka as mikey-mike) has been unknowingly working away on this very thing for months. Not that he would have dared to assume that anything would happen when he slid into billoncam’s DM’s 18 months ago.
- He’s just a country boy from bumfuck nowhere. There’s no reality in this universe where he and the likes of billoncam would ever cross paths. But he enjoys talking to him. They have a lot of laughs. And Bill is surprisingly sweet and very well spoken. They like a lot of the same things. The same literature, the same sports teams. Bill is always asking after the animals on Mike’s family’s farm. Mike wishes he could get to know him better. 
- Bill wants the same thing. He’d give anything to meet the sweet-souled farmboy from Maine who brightens Bill’s day whenever he gets a new message from him. I mean, it helps that he’s also gorgeous with the most wonderful smile, but thats beside the point.
- Bill ends up putting his money where his mouth is. Just enough to buy a return plane ticket to LA, so that Mike can come visit him, and cover the cost of a hotel room (ya know, in case he doesn’t want to stay with Bill and the rest of them. Bill would never want to make him uncomfortable).
- Needless to say Mike fits right into the family almost immediately. 
- its a couple of months later and billoncam still exists, but its like a relic now. Bill pours all his creative energy into his new channel “the-lucky-seven”. Its a channel shared by everyone and its outrageously popular. Sure there are still a few individuals who are too shy or anxious to show their faces but the audience doesn’t seem to care. There’s so much variety to be found on the channel. Different combinations of people doing a live cam nearly every second day. 
- they’re all unapologetic, they all love each other, and they don’t mind sharing it with the world. 
- :) :) :) :) B) :) :)
----
Did I really just write a romance story about camming? Why yes, I think I did. Ha Ha. Hope you enjoyed. :)
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Drawn Together: Chapter 14
Happy birthday to Veneziano and Romano!
Three months passed, the friendship between Feliciano and Ludwig now as strong as steel. Yet, something has been bothering Feliciano about it.
Artisloveandlife: Do you think its strange how we ve been friends this long but we havent even seen each others faces
By now, Feliciano was also used to Ludwig's fast responses, even if he did scold him occasionally for it.
Artisloveandlife: People will think you re desperate
Lutzie71: Do you think I am desperate, Feliciano?
Artisloveandlife: Well no but others might
Lutzie71: I am only talking to you. Others don't matter now
Artisloveandlife: I dont think you understand how romantic that sounds
Lutzie71: It is just your mind
Point was, Feliciano was used to Ludwig's way of texting. From his perfect grammar to extreme time punctuation, but Feliciano liked him that way.
Lutzie71: I don't think it is all that unusual Lutzie71: There are people who enter relationships online, but have never seen each other  Lutzie71: On the contrary, I would call it an internet phenomenon
Artisloveandlife: Hmm Artisloveandlife: I guess your right Artisloveandlife: But i really wanna see your face Artisloveandlife: I bet you look super cute
Lutzie71: You're* Lutzie71: I don't see why not Lutzie71: But I want to see your face as well Lutzie71: It is only fair
Artisloveandlife: Deal Artisloveandlife: Show yourself warrior
*Lutzie71 has sent a picture*
Artisloveandlife: Wow you look like a viking Artisloveandlife: Are you a viking in secret Ludwig
Lutzie71: No, but I do have relatives in Scandinavia Lutzie71: Most people tell me I am scary at first, this is new
Artisloveandlife: Well you are kinda scary but i live with lovi Artisloveandlife: Nothing beats that
Lutzie71: That is reassuring Lutzie71: Now, a deal is a deal
Artisloveandlife: Wait im looking for the perfect lighting
*Artisloveandlife has sent a picture, half an hour later*
Artisloveandlife: I know it took me a while dont complain Artisloveandlife: Feat gino cuz we re cute
Lutzie71: I can't deny that Lutzie71: Gino steals the spotlight, but you aren't that bad yourself
Artisloveandlife: Very funny Artisloveandlife: Theres something else bothering me Artisloveandlife: Can you shorten you arent to yourent
Lutzie71: Feliciano, why Lutzie71: Let us go back to talking about pictures Lutzie71: I love the background in your picture
Artisloveandlife: Thanks Artisloveandlife: Its the view from my window on the adriatic sea Artisloveandlife: That painting i made for alice and otto was supposed to be of the adriatic but i messed up
Lutzie71: I still think it turned out perfect
Artisloveandlife: Thanks even tho you say that every time Artisloveandlife: Whats that behind you tho
Lutzie71: It is my brothers room and that is his poster of some metal band whose name I can't decipher Lutzie71: The letters are too bloody
Artisloveandlife: Can i see them
Lutzie71: Sure
*Lutzie71 has sent a picture*
Artisloveandlife: Thats slipknot
Lutzie71: That was fast
Artisloveandlife: Its art so Artisloveandlife: I can read anything
Lutzie71: I am impressed Lutzie71: I haven't asked today how are you? How is the situation with your family?
Artisloveandlife: Pretty good meo has midterms now and is freaking out and lovi is doing good Artisloveandlife: He found a better job and he seems to like it Artisloveandlife: And gino and pookie are as amazing as always im pretty sure pookie found a gf
Lutzie71: That is cute Lutzie71: My dogs are splendid as well
Artisloveandlife: And gil
Lutzie71: Annoying me
Artisloveandlife: Like a good big brother
Lutzie71: You could say Lutzie71: I hope you don't mind but I showed him your picture Lutzie71: He says you are cute and that he would like to go out with you one day
Artisloveandlife: Gil is str8forward Artisloveandlife: I cant date you gil you re too far away and i need cuddles
Lutzie71: You have broken his heart Lutzie71: Good job Feliciano
Artisloveandlife: Ill take that as a compliment
Lutzie71: Fine by me Lutzie71: He is crying now Lutzie71: Drama queen
Artisloveandlife: Gil could act in an opera show
Lutzie71: He has 0 talent for singing though
Artisloveandlife: Savage Artisloveandlife: Hey Ludwig Artisloveandlife: Its getting kinda difficult to talk on tumblr Artisloveandlife: I stopped getting your messages normally Artisloveandlife: Are you fine with switching to whatsapp or something
This time, Ludwig didn't respond as quickly as he usually would. His message came 20 minutes late.
Lutzie71: This feels like a good time to reveal Betty's secret Lutzie71: She actually gave me your number despite you saying no Lutzie71: She said it is all about the yaois and left
Artisloveandlife: Im  Artisloveandlife: Im going to kill her but before that thank you for being a good human being Ludwig Artisloveandlife: Unlike someone Artisloveandlife: You can send me a text then but i might not respond immediately im probably yelling at her
A couple of minutes later, as Feliciano was angrily texting Elizabeta hate messages, a message came from an unknown number. All that was written in it was Skree skree. Even after the whole situation with Lovino and Grandpa Rome was halfway resolved, Ludwig and Feliciano kept their pigeon talk, leading Feliciano to know exactly who it was.
♡~Feli~♡: Hi Ludwig
Ludwig: Hello Feliciano
♡~Feli~♡: I was just texting Lizzie how much i hate her how are you doin
Ludwig: Pretty alright Ludwig: She is reading me your texts at the couch Ludwig: I didn't know you were so vulgar
♡~Feli~♡: Yeah well i was really angry and she deserved it ♡~Feli~♡: I got it from my brother
Ludwig: I have never met them, but Betty tells me that Romeo is cute and Lovino is a prick Ludwig: Her words, not mine
♡~Feli~♡: Shes not that far from the truth ♡~Feli~♡: Although we all know im the cutest one ♡~Feli~♡: Do you want to meet my brothers
Ludwig: Someday yes
♡~Feli~♡: Okay
Feliciano pressed the camera button on the edge of his screen, calling Ludwig for a video call. It was either bad connection or Ludwig's anxiety that led to several attempts of this action before they finally managed to contact each other.
Feliciano smiled at his screen, Ludwig was going to hear his voice for the first time ever and he was going to hear his. "Hello!" He said, a bit higher than he wanted it to come out.
Ludwig looked around, nervous at this new way of talking, before finally responding in his natural voice. "Hello, Feliziano."
It was no secret that Feliciano cringed at the way Ludwig pronounced his name, but he mostly blamed it on the bad sound quality. "Your voice is so deep, please tell me a Kraken is not going to come out of your mouth. Also, that's not how you pronounce my name."
Ludwig tried his best to hide a smile forming at the corner if his lips, but Feliciano saw right through his pixelated face. "There are no Krakens in my mouth. If there were any, it is being digested right now."
"Oh, thank God." Feliciano laughed.
"You didn't tell me how to pronounce your name." Ludwig commented.
"It's a hard c, not a z. You're not saying Venezia, you're saying, uh..." Feliciano took a moment to look for comparisons. "Alice!"
"Feliciano." Ludwig tried saying it again.
"Much better."
"So, the same rules apply for i as they do for e?"
"Yes. But only if they come after c or g. And if you put h in between, then they are pronounced normally. C is k and g is g, like parcheggio." Feliciano explained.
"I see. What does parcheggio mean?" Ludwig asked.
"Parking lot." Feliciano said. "But that's not why I called."
"I quite enjoyed this conversation." Ludwig smiled.
"Of course you did. By the way, you're very cute when you smile. Now, do you wanna meet my brothers?" Feliciano asked.
Ludwig ignored the comment on his smiling face, avoiding the blush that would have otherwise be very obvious. "Why not."
"Okay. I'll give you a tour of the house while I find them." Feliciano said, getting up from his bed and showing Ludwig his room. "This is my room. If you can't tell it apart from all other rooms, mine has the best view. Remember that."
"Alright." Ludwig answered.
Feliciano exited his room and made his way down the stairs to the living room. "Our house should be a hotel." He said and Ludwig laughed. It really did have a lot of stairs.
When he was finally on the living room stairs, Feliciano spotted Lovino and Antonio on the couch, cuddling. "Hi, Toni!" He greeted.
Antonio waved at him and Lovino just looked at him, annoyed that his fun was ruined. Feliciano directed his attention back to Ludwig. "You get to meet Toni today as well. Lucky you, Luddy!" He said and jumped on the couch, separating Lovino and Antonio.
"Okay so, Ludwig, this is Lovi." Feliciano said, showing the phone to Lovino so Ludwig could see him better. "Lovi, this is Ludwig. He's my friend."
Lovino took a moment to take in Ludwig's appearance. "Feli." He called. "Why does that potato have hair?"
Feliciano was just about to tell him off, but Ludwig interrupted them. "When you leave a potato too long underground, it develops hair." Ludwig held back his laugh.
Lovino scoffed. "Well, aren't you a smartass."
"It is nice to meet you too, Lovino." Ludwig said.
"Fun fact. It's mine and Lovi's birthday soon. We were born on the same day two years apart." Feliciano chimed in.
"Best. Birthday present. Ever." Lovino said, Ludwig noted the sarcasm in his voice.
"And Meo was born in June. He betrayed us." Feliciano continued and moved his phone away from Lovino, towards Antonio.
Antonio offered Ludwig a big bright smile. "Hello!"
Ludwig was just about to answer, but Feliciano decided that wasn't going to happen today. "This is Toni. He's Lovi's boyfriend and we might have interrupted one of their make out sessions now."
"Don't worry about it, Feli. Nice to meet you, Ludwig." Antonio said, patting Feliciano's hair.
"Nice to meet you as well." Ludwig smiled. "I must say, you look rather familiar. Have you been to Germany before?"
"No. But I have a friend there. I met him when he got really drunk here in Italy." Antonio shook his head.
"That sounds like something my brother would do." As if he was summoned, a voice which probably belonged to Ludwig's brother chimed in.
"What is this gossip about the awesome me?" Another figure appeared behind Ludwig, with platinum white hair and piercing red eyes. A large smirk was glued on his face when he saw Feliciano on the phone, but it immediately turned to something less seductive when he noticed the person next to Feliciano.
Gilbert grabbed the phone from Ludwig's hands and took a closer look. "Toni!?" He asked.
Antonio's eyes went wide. Following Gilbert's reaction, he snatched the phone away from Feliciano and smiled. "Gil!"
Feliciano and Lovino were both watching their reactions. What in the world just happened? Neither knew the answer.
Gilbert continued. "What the hell are you doing there?"
"Feli is my friend. I had no idea he was friends with your brother! It's so nice to see you again, Gil!" Antonio answered.
"The world is too small for the awesome me. Still, I can't believe I'm seeing you there of all people." Gilbert shook his head like a grandpa.
Feliciano let the two of them talk for a little while more before joining Antonio on the screen. Gilbert smirked again when he saw him. "I'm glad you two got to talk it all out, but can I have Ludwig back please?" Feliciano asked.
Gilbert made a wounded expression at Feliciano's words. "Toni, call me." He said, making a phone gesture by his ear before passing the phone to Ludwig.
Ludwig just stared at Feliciano confused. "I have no idea what just happened."
"Me neither, but I'm glad they get along." Feliciano said. "Ready to meet Meo?"
Ludwig nodded and spotted his brother talking on the phone to someone. Judging by the voice he heard in the background from Feliciano, he suspected he was back to talking to Antonio. Feliciano's brother was sure to kill him now.
Feliciano walked back up the stairs to a dark hallway, at the end of it was a smaller room which Feliciano opened. However, instead of being met with light from the outside, he was met with more darkness and some tears. "Meo?" He called.
"Hm?" Came a sniffling answer.
"Midterms?" Feliciano asked.
"Yup."
"Can you talk now? I want to introduce you to my friend."
"Okay. Gimme a second." There was a shuffling sound and soon Romeo was up and smiling and Feliciano turned on the lights.
He walked towards Romeo's bed and sat on it, showing him Ludwig. "Meo, this is my friend Ludwig. Ludwig, this is Romeo. He's the youngest."
"Why you gotta rub it in my face? Nice to meet you, Ludwig. Don't listen to this guy, whatever he tells you about me, it's all lies." Romeo smiled.
Ludwig returned the gesture. "So, your name isn't Romeo and you're not the youngest?"
"Is that really all you have to say about me?" Romeo commented, pinching Feliciano.
"Ow! That's a good enough introduction, what do you want from me?" Feliciano said, caressing his wound from being pinched.
"My apologies. He did tell me more, but it didn't seem relevant." Ludwig said. "You're majoring in Chemistry, right? Good luck with your midterms."
"Yeah. They are a disaster, but I love blowing things up more." Romeo laughed.
"You are just like my brother." Ludwig said.
"I think we should leave now, Ludwig. Let Meo suffer in his pain." Feliciano said, smirking. This was revenge for pinching him before.
"Alright. Goodbye, Romeo. Good luck once again." Ludwig said and Feliciano took off, sticking out his tongue for Romeo, earning himself a middle finger up from Romeo.
The rest of the day, Feliciano and Ludwig spent just talking to each other. Elizabeta and her husband Roderich joined them briefly as well as Gilbert, but they mostly talked between themselves. Ludwig talked quite a lot about his dogs and Feliciano couldn't help his smile when he did. Ludwig was absolutely glowing when he talked about his dogs.
"Do you want to talk like this tomorrow again?" Feliciano asked. The clock on his wall showing that it was already well past midnight.
"Sure, I don't mind. If it is just the two of us." Ludwig said.
"Just the two of us then." Feliciano smiled. "Good night, Ludwig."
"Good night, Feliciano." Ludwig said and Feliciano broke the call. He voted the call as excellent and shut down his phone, his battery giving up on life as he did.
Feliciano laid down in his bed, thinking about what an eventful day it was. He recited some of the conversations between himself and Ludwig before falling asleep with a smile on his face.
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roughentumble · 5 years
Text
i watched the poughkeepsie tapes and, ignoring everything else about it, i seriously legitimately at the end of the movie went "huh, thats a cool twist. the serial killer is the one making the documentary," but i cant.... find anyone else saying as such online
like!!!!! to me, it makes so much sense. the obsession with filming, the occasionally odd interview questions("do you [admire him]?", the entire interview with Cheryl), the fact that he's already proven to be someone who taunts the police and likes to insert himself/make his presence known somehow, it feeds into how "intelligent" and "good at hiding his tracks" they said he was, it adds a beautiful layer of irony at the end when the cop is like "man when yr documentary comes out we're gonna be watching the theaters, he'll come see it, mark my words," it explains why there was so much graphic footage that would NEVER be allowed in a documentary, and it could also explain the MISSING TAPES(he kept some of them in order to have footage for the documentary)
also i figured at the end, either cheryl's death was faked and then he went and picked her up(although that seems a bit elaborate), OR she did actually kill herself, because he left AGAIN and didnt take her AGAIN and she was too devastated to handle it.
plus, if he's that vain and intent on documenting his story and his crimes WITHOUT getting caught or revealing personal information, then surely a long movie where you hear about all his crimes, step-by-step, and also all the cops are admitting that he's a genius who gave them the run-around and saying they might never find him, where we learn nothing about who he is in the slightest except that he was so good at murder, would be pretty appealing to him.
so like you can imagine my surprise when i dont see ANYONE else mentioning it lmao. so after that i gave it another thought.
admittedly, it does raise a few issues.
1) the cheryl interview. the weirdness of some of the questions couldve just been awkwardness in the face of someone so clearly and extensively traumatized. she didn't fall over herself with joy about how "you came back for me!!!" but with how hardcore he trained her, i think he could easily get her to act like she doesnt know him. in general, her acting here works for being read as both "abuse victim and no other reason" and "youre pulling a con and im in on it but i dont know the plan and im Flighty and Nervous(and also an abuse victim)."
the "i dont know what you want me to say," is completely applicable whether he's the killer or not. she's either saying "i dont have an internal barometer yet for what answer you specifically are looking for from me, so i dont know what to say," or shes saying "im frightened that if i answer that im happy to be home youll be mad at me for saying i missed it, but if i say im not happy to be home itll make your documentary unconvincing, you didnt fill me in on what you wanted from me(possibly on purpose to distress me) and im scared of the repercussions of me making the wrong choice." the stuff at the end about how she loved him makes just as much sense if its not the killer, but when i saw it i read it as a semi-coded message. "i love him(you), and i know he(you) will sweep me away from here soon, *makes heavy eye contact with the camera man*"
2) the mother didnt recognise him, and no one recognised his voice from the tapes. this ones a big sticking point, but if hes so meticulous at preparing crime scenes and has such a wide array of tools and "toys", he must have a decent amount of time and money on his hands, so he couldve possibly hired a dude off, idk, craigslist to interview the mom. as for his voice, he was only ever shouting and growling in the tapes, but the interviewer was very quiet and softspoken whenever he did speak. possibly that was enough to make him sound different? he was shown using sign language at one point, so maybe he hired an interpreter and signed questions to obscure his voice, so the voice we hear when the interviewer speaks would actually be the interpreter's voice.
3) i guess, thinking about it, documentaries usually have a whole crew, not just the guy doing the interviews but a lighting guy and a sound guy and a camera guy and an editor... but again, he doesnt lack the resources to do time-consuming and expensive tasks, so i dont have a hard time believing he'd be able to cobble together a small crew, just bare-bones enough to technically function.
actually, if he had something to mount it on, he wouldnt need anyone to hold the camera, and he could set up the lights and sound himself before he starts each take. and i cant imagine he'd let anyone construct his magnum opus except himself, so he'd do the editing. itd be work, but he could probably pull off being a 2 man crew(him+either an interpreter, or a craigslist interviewer.)
4) if he did, indeed, take the missing tapes in order to use them in the documentary, then as soon as it was played somewhere, theyd find out this was previously unseen footage and theyd know he was the killer. BUT if he gave them fake info and didnt leave any dna, they might not be able to find him. BUT ALSO itd be nearly impossible for them to not get him on surveillance footage, so he'd have his image spread around like wildfire. but then again, this issue could be solved by just saying "ok he used footage from the tapes in police custody. the other ones were special, possibly mementos or future breadcrumbs to taunt the police with."
idk. idk!!!!! i think my theory holds up. i think it makes a lot of sense, and also its literally the only reason i can think of that such graphic scenes would EVER be allowed-- or put-- in a documentary... because he doesnt care about censors or ratings(like pg-13 sort of ratings) or legality. all he cares about is showing off and preserving his legacy. he led the cops to the house because he wanted them to see the tapes, yaknow?? he wanted someone to see them.
like!!! the interview segments, while not perfect, were good enough that i felt more than a little jarred when we just straight up saw mr. serial killer decapitate someone. and not, like, a good jarring, like how horror movies are supposed to be upsetting. it just brought me out of the experience and felt so fake it was almost goofy. it was preposterous. (and also the effects were a little cheesy/plasticy in that scene, so that didnt help.)
a regular editor, putting that clip in, unblurred? who. who on gods green earth would ever do their job that poorly
a vain serial killer who wants people to see his creepy snuff films putting in that unblurred clip? extremely logical. makes sense.
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hypmicscenarios · 5 years
Text
Anime Attraction
3.K words
A/N: High School au. Fic with ichiro, you two slowly falling in love over the span of a 4 day convention and bonding over the fact that you’re closeted weebs. (So he would like tdd era ichiro) And again! I use neutral pronouns! hope you enjoy~
Day 1: You were very excited, happy, elated, every happy word in the book! This year, you were finally going to your first anime convention. Unfortunately, you were a bit of a closeted weeb. People knew you watched anime….just not your extreme obssession with it. Maybe extreme was too harsh for you case, but you were sure that would be the situation if they ever saw your room, filled with anime posters, merch, etc.However, those were all bought online or in stores….youve never actually been to a convention.
Online, you heard many good things about it, and that people there, for the most part, were friendly. You smiled as you got off the train, an empty backpack on your bag, besides essentials, inside an empty tote bag for you posters. You had planned for this for months. Saving up all the money you could from your allowances. Your wallet, besides money for the train and food to eat, was going to be completely emptied by the end of the day. Finally, you took your jacket off, revealing a ( favorite anime) anime shirt on your person. One of your favorites. You could never choose. You could talk about it for days. However….it was Under rated. It was also a bit old...and you were late to watch it, so the fandom dwindled down.
You were amazed as you saw many cosplays, a bit too nervous to ask for pictures, or even compliment them, but you hoped they received your compliments in spirit….something like that. It was….also really big and crowded. You got too into your head, overthinking a bunch of things, that you didn’t see the larger man in front of you, hitting his back.
“O-oh im sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you said, bowing quickly. You looked up at the man, gulping, quickly taken aback by how pretty he was, different colored eyes, red and green. It almost seemed like he was in cosplay, but he was just wearing a naruto shirt with black jeans on, a naruto headband around his forehead.
Ichiro blinked and smiled,”no need to apologize, I was kind of standing here in the middle of everyone anyway,”his eyes went down to your shirt and his eyes sparkled,”wait….thats a (favorite anime) isnt it! Whose your favorite character?”, he asked. You were taken aback about how eager and happy he seemed, but it definitely managed to make you relax a bit.
“My favorite character is [     ],”you said, stating your reasoning,”oh- sorry….I didn’t mean to talk that long,” Ichiro chuckled,”thats fine, I love them too! For mostly the same reasons, theyre kind of cool. This is my first convention so Im excited its going off to great start, thanks.”
Oh? It was his first time as well? “Its my first time too, I came here alone, I didn’t expect to be this big, theres so many people.” Ichiro nodded,”Im here by myself too, are you here all four days?” You nodded. “If you dont mind it, we can walk around together, ah! Sorry if thats a bit too forward….”,he trailed off. To be honest, Ichiro was a closeted weeb. So he had no one to talk to, let alone drag to a con. “Oh no, Um, its fine. I would like that...even though I know everyone here loves anime….”,you trailed off, the guy, whose name you still didn’t know, finished your thought,”because theres so many people conversing and being you feel like everyone already has their own cliques and you realize youre alone.”
Well. That. Yes that. You smiled,”Yeah, its that, and my nerves and anxiety.”
Ichiro stuck his hand out,”Yamada Ichiro, 2nd year high school student in Ikebukuro. Nice to meet you.”
“ l/n, f/n, also 2nd year in a high school located in yokohama, nice to meet you”m you said and shook his hand. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Day 2:
The first day, the two of you had walked around, played games, went to panels together, learning much more about each other. You agreed to meetup at the same place in the morning. Of course, you were even more excited than you were yesterday. You were dressed in more casual clothing, but backpack was now decorated with buttons you found. Soon, you heard your name being called out and waved your hand,”Good Morning Yamada-san”, you said, greeting him.
Ichiro smiled and spoke,”Morning! Did you sleep well?”, he asked.  You shook your head in disagreement,”I barely got any sleep, I was excited for today.” Ichiro laughed,”so did I, so what should we do today?”,he said, taking out the convention program guide. “Hmmmm, theres a bunch of panels,”you said, going to the side of him and looking at the program,”how to successfully master naruto hand signs….”,you trailed off. They really….had a panel for everything.
Ichiro’s face lit up,” that sounds cool, want to go? Although I already know a couple…”,he said, and you laughed,”what? You going to become the next hokage Yamada-san?”, you teased a bit, but he went along with it, of course he did. You found out about this from yesterday. That he was like this. “I am gonna be next hokage, just believe it!”, he said.
“Thats naruto’s punchline you cant just steal it,” you said, watching Ichiro as he thought, then spoke again, very excitedly,”Im going to be next hokage, because I said so!”, he said, putting out a thumb. For some reason, it had you laughing a lot,”b-bbecause you said so? Ahahaha, well, you sure have a passion like naruto, I think thats all you need, its cute”, you said, realizing that you had just called the other cute.
Ichiro blushed and put his hand behind his back,”Sorry...I just cant be like this a lot in real life without getting teased for it, so its a bit refreshing,”he said and you nodded,, understanding completely.
“Well, lets go learn some jutstus even though they wont help against a gun but who cares, because its an anime convention, and we’re doing what we love,”you said confidently, more confident than you would expect from yourself.  Ichiro nodded,”Dattebayo, lets go!”, he saidm turning around and walking. You were really having too much fun. Being attracted to him went way over your head for now, simply enjoying the time the two of you spent together.
Later on in the day, the two of you found an anime photo booth, Ichiro dragging you by the arm towards it,”for memories!”, he said. The two of you got in and hit the naruto theme poses. Of course, you indulged him, he was cute when he got his way. And, you didn’t have to worry about poses. Instead, they gave you poses to do.
The first was a naruto sign for any jutsu, the second peace signs, the third you had to stick your tongues at each other, seeming annoyed, and the last one….got you. It was only a hug, but they way Ichiro hugged you quickly and tightly, pushing both of your faces together, eft you shocked, and you were sure the picture didn’t turn out well. Once you got out and looked at it, Ichiro pointed to last one,”its like you were trying so hard not to blink, but we’re cute, arent we?”,he said and you laughed:yea we really are”, you replied, more focused on the current pace of your heart...beating very rapidly. You paid for two copies so you could keep it. The rest of the day, you two kept up your shenanigans. It was tough leaving, but you were going to come back tomorrow and, hopefully, your heart would learn to behave.
Day 3:
The two of you sat down to eat lunch on the third day, already having gone through a couple activities.
“Theres Jiro, then theres Saburo, and Saburo is the oldest. We’re all pretty close but Saburo and Jiro always fight a lot, typical sibling stuff…..and a lot of the times it includes me. I keep telling them I dont have favorites but they never listen,”Ichiro sighed with a smile on his face. It wasn’t an exhausted sigh though, he was used to it, it was just how they worked.
You smiled as he rambled on about his brothers. It was very clear that he cherished the both of them dearly and would do anything for them. “That must be nice….Im an only child so I could never relate to these type of things. Thats why I got into anime really, theres was no one that I could play with at the snap of a finger if I wanted to-oh Im not sad about it or anything, I love anime, it was really there for me in trying times, plus the internet.”
Ichiro nodded and then spoke,”Well, you have me now too, and you can be as passionate as you want, no holding back. You have my number now and its already fun texting you when we’re not at the convention.”  He was right. After you guys left, you were quickly texting each other at home before you went to sleep. You sent each other memes,pictures, and talked about a bunch of different topics, that often you had smiling or laughing at your phone.
At that point….you knew had a crush. It was only two days but he was just so…..it was the little things really, not just the fact that you had anime in common. When you were walking through the convention center, going through a massive crowd, he told you to hold onto his jacket, so you wouldn’t get lost. Or how he quickly offered to help hold your stuff when you were buying merchandise. Or even him talking about how much he loves his brothers. Rather than weird, it was insanely cute to you.
It wasnt love per say…..well. Lets be real. You were a sucker when it came to love. Honestly, you dont even feel like counting how many crushes you had but none of those ever came to fruition.  You should just focus on your anime boys but the moment some other boy is even the slightest bit kind to you, like helping you carry books, your heart falls. Despite that though, you felt like this was different. More than just a couple simple acts of kindness.
“Im really enjoying our time here, we’re going to the cosplay masquerade today right? We still have some time to kill, want to go to the game hall?”, you asked,”then we can see which one of us is better at dance dance revolution.” Ichiro smiled and nodded his head,”Yeah! Youre on!”
After that, the two of you managed to spend all of your time in the hall. Ichiro was by a claw machine and you commented,”I suck at these things,”then looked inside, seeing what plushies they had. “I think im pretty decent,”Ichiro said, walking up,”sometimes I won stuff for saburo when I was little...he grew out of it though,”Ichiro said with a laugh.He wanted to try it.
“Good Luck Yamada-kun!”, you said, cheering him on. You were amazed by how focused he looked. “Do you want anything specific?”,he asked you. “Wait, me?”, you said, trying to clarify. Ichiro laughed,”I think you’re the only l/n here,”he said. That...kind of caught you off guard. But you walked up and placed your hands against the glass. “Ummmm, that cat in the middle is kind of cute.”
Ichiro nodded. The first time, he managed to pick the plushie up for about three seconds before it fell, but that was better than what you could do! The second time, he managed to grab it again, your eyes wide in anticipation as you followed the claw and plushie to the drop off slot. “Oh my god, you did it!”,you said, going to high five both of Ichiro’s hands but, instead of letting go, he held them and put them down,”Yeah I did! Guess I didn’t lose my skill after all.” “Yeah...youre amazing”, you said, trying to not comment on the fact that he was still holding both of your hands. God….your heart was a mess. There was no denying you fell for him. At most, it was very high like at this point.
Day 4:
Ichiro was excited to see you again. Well, half-excited and half-sad. He really liked hanging out with you. More often than not, he found himself thinking about how you look best when theres a smile on your face. So, he always did dumb things to make you smile, no matter how stupid it may have looked. Maybe it was because you didn’t think his obsession was weird. When you guys talked, your interests lined up more than he thought they would. It was perfect.
Of course, he eventually figured out that he’d want to see you, in a more romantic context, that it is. He knew his feelings towards you were different. Honestly, he even weirdly got a little bit jealous when you mentioned how hot a specific anime character was. Ichiro didn’t necessarily plan on confessing that day….but who knows how things would turn out. Yes, it had only been three days, but he felt like he knew you already. Really, you guys always messaged each other.
The conversations would go dull for an hour or so but one link to a meme and that sparked a conversation that continued for a while. It was great. He had never felt so validated.
“L/n-san! Hey, morning!”,he said as he walked up to you. You looked like you were thinking hard about something, but Ichiro didn’t comment on it.
In fact, you were. Thinking about how you wouldn’t be able to see him so frequently. It made you….sadder than you expected. Granted you could travel to see him, but it was also due to the fact that it was the last day of the convention. Here, you could be yourselves without glancing over you shoulder every couple seconds in fear that someone you knew would spot you.  It was so much fun, especially because of him!
Its for the best though….your funds were just about dried out. You couldn’t help but smile as you saw him though,”hey, good morning to you too, ready for the last day?” Ichiro laughed,”Yes and No because this has been very exciting.” You nodded in agreement,”it has, it does suck that we cant experience this everyday.”
“well!”,Ichiro clapped his hands,”lets not worry about that and focus on having fun, okay?” Your smile got wider,”yes, okay!” Ichiro spoke,”Datteba-”, then he pointed towards you,”Yo!”, you said, the two of you giggling. This had become your thing now, apparently, but you two werent used to it, hence you laughing off you embarrassment.
You went to the artist alley and exhibit hall one last time, taking a lot more pictures together than usual, even with cosplayers! Ichiro helped you out a lo with expressing that you wanted pictures with them and that was yet another thing that you loved about him. Without even asking him to do so, he just did it on a whim, and that made you incredibly happy.
A bit later, it was closing ceremonies. It wasnt much really, but anything to just spend even a little more time with Ichiro. However, that ended sooner than you expected. And you didn’t know what to do with yourself.
The two of you sat outside on a bench.
“So, I suppose this is it…”,you said. You had to get back early today anyway. Yet, you really didn’t want to. You looked up as Ichiro spoke,”no, its not it. We still have each other’s numbers, we can make it work, I-well….these past few days have been really fun for me,”Ichiro blushed, placing his hand behind his neck. Was he going to confess? If he didn’t do it now he knew he’d procrastinate on doing so forever. He didn’t necessarily have to make sure you were his in this exact moment, but his heart wanted an answer as soon as possible, before he got in too deep.
“The thing is….I want us to be more than just friends. I just….the more we talked, the more I found myself drawn to you. Like I can tell you anything. Its really easy to be myself around you, l/n, I want...to get closer. So, would you go out with me? Or not now, I mean you can think about it but...yeah.”,he said, face blushing. He had only confessed once in his lifetime and that was during elementary….he was quickly shut down.
You….couldn’t believe your ears. Did you really manage to find someone who was interested you at an anime convention. Well, you were sure there were more interesting stories but this was still way out of your league. You even thought he was way out of your league.
“I….we can date. I feel the same, about you, I like talking to you. And I think whats making me so sad is that I cant see you...not the convention part,”you said, looking towards Ichiro and seeing his grow excited. He grabbed your hands quickly and held them,”really?! Thats great.”,he said, letting go than hugging you. Oh. This was happening. It took you a couple seconds to process the hug before you reciprocated it.
Ichiro pulled away, looking down at you, a smile on his face,”when I talk with you, I feel like the happiest and luckiest man in the world. I know love is too strong of a word right now, but I want to do my best to make you happy.”
You were so flustered that you made no response, even more so when you felt his hand on your cheek and saw him leaning in. It all happened quickly. You closed your eyes and suddenly his lips were on yours. No movement, but it lingered for a moment, before he pulled away.
That was your first...kiss. You didn’t mind that it got taken by him but still….it was so much to process. Ichiro brought you back to reality,”Ikebukuro isn’t too far from Yokohama on the train, maybe we could meet in the middle on weekends, or switch up, ah, well I guess we can talk about this letter, getting ahead of myself,”he said and chuckled, which only prompted you to let out a soft laugh. He was like an eager puppy that you wanted to pet. Weird how he so easily calmed your nerves by the sounds of your laughs.
“Datteba-”
“Yo!”
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yeoldontknow · 5 years
Note
kat! love your all your fics you're an amazing writer! can you share some writing tips for amateur writers out here?
hi anon writing advice tag if youre looking for like...more specific answers? when it comes to writing, its a very subjective experience when it comes to finding inspiration, outline style, word choice, etc but theres a few things i think across the board are important to remember. 
going under a cut to not clog dashes
- consume as much media as you can. ex: books, music, film etc. i know for me personally im most inspired when im consuming art. i literally cannot write without music, like its genuinely so difficult because i pace my writing against the soundtrack of each scene. and the filtering, editing, and direction style of films/tv series i like will influence, in some manner, how the fic looks in my mind. yes, your plot and characters are found/uncovered in your brain and heart, but these other mediums assist in your interpretation of how youd like to express it and will help inspire the way you describe certain things. so dont be afraid to step back from a doc to consume other forms of art. for me, at least, its really important.
- keep writing and dont let yourself stop. once you decide you want to write a fic or drabble or whatever comes to mind, write it. and once that is done, write more. this is how you develop a style. you will notice the more you practice, the easier it gets. OR you will notice the more you write, the more evolved your writing becomes. this is how you form a style. here is an example: 
an excerpt from a series i was writing in 2011 in a different fandom:
No one tells you what it’s like to go insane. No one talks about it because, we, as a society, understand the chemistry and the biology of it, but we don’t understand the feeling of it. Time had started to compress, slipping around me in a computerized metronome of blood flow and heart beats that had started to tell me nothing except that I was still living. They hadn’t strapped me to the bed, but I still couldn’t leave and everything about the room started to feel like a cage. Sleep had eluded me since I was pulled out, and through the exhaustion and the haze of sameness I never knew exactly when I was beyond a date of 2266.
I was craving daylight - not the vitamin D, as I was being given a healthy dose of daily vitamins through an IV drip - the natural light and the natural warmth of it, all over my face and skin. The ceiling lights of the room provided an element of ultraviolet light, but after so many hours the falsehood of an invention began to wear a person down. It’s something you never really think about, the sun, not until you don’t have it, not until you haven’t seen it for one hundred years.
But when one hundred years feels like three days or two weeks, time really stops mattering and then the sun itself doesn’t feel so important.
from Empty Vessels, posted july 2019:
For a while, they do not speak. Minseok looks longingly out over the water, hollowed, as the herbalist regards the dirt on her shoes with an empty stare. In the silence, Junmyeon minutely nods, the bare threads of his patience allowing them space to find their words. Images spring to his mind, all imagined and none wholly formed, each as bleak and battered as the crow in Chanyeol’s arms. He wonders what Minseok has seen, unable to avoid with a clarity bordering on entrapment; he wonders what she has heard, whispers on the wind of a life he thought he’d left behind.
‘The trees are screaming,’ she announces, eyes still downcast though her voice is sharp; blunt as the edge of a sword and equally as unforgiving. ‘They’re in pain.’
It settles over him, slow and uncompromising, the notion that trees could make sound - that they would choose to. The oldest wisdom lingers in their branches, and for one brief moment, he sees her as someone as old as their roots.
i, at least, can see an enormous difference in quality and style and thats because ive been writing and writing and writing for a very long time lmao. in 2011 i was 3 years into writing fanfic consistently; at that time, too, i was still working towards my degrees and writing daily for film analysis projects. the more you write, the more you evolve so please please please dont stop just because you feel you arent experienced enough. confidence and style will come over time, just keep yourself in practice. 
- NOTES MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. notes on tumblr are a hot take - and while, yes, there is a need for more reblogs and more sharing of content, focusing on statistics will drive you to the brink. joseph gordon levitt released a ted talk last week on how seeking attention is detrimental to your creativity and LORD this is such a good talk because its true. one of the things he discusses is how powerful the feeling of receiving attention - in this case, notes on a fic - drives someone toward output, but is that genuine? now, of course theres always going to be different scenarios or opinions but if you are just starting out with writing please dont post a fic under the assumption or expectation of achieving a note goal. there are so many variables as to what gets notes and what does not - from algorithm to how many people are online to see it to timing to content like you cannot predict what will or will not correspond to x number of notes and x number of followers. 
instead of setting note or follower goals, set word count goals. when i first started writing for kpop i was actually a pretty concise writer. if you look at the early chapters of hero and wyrm tamer, they all would peak around 4 or 5k words. achieving 10-15K on something seemed absolutely ridiculous and impossible to me - hell, 15K was 10K words under my masters thesis count! why would i want to write that much? but now? im shook if i finish a chapter or fic and the word count is just 4K. those word count goals are exciting for me. 
nervous about word count goals? thats fine! set a goal to write a genre. always wanted to try high fantasy? dope! do it! want to write some sexy vampires? fuck yeah, everyone loves those! want to write a fic that helps you release some tension or trauma youve experienced? please do that, writing is therapy and has been scientifically proven to help. 
set goals for making characters, world building, soundtracks, to learn photoshop to make a moodboard. set goals for all kinds of things but pls dont set goals for statistics because these are so variable and very often outside of your control they will very often suck any joy out of your creativity before its had the chance to start.
i hope these help!
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whumpingwithirondad · 6 years
Text
Tony is so-not a Dad
Do you want to see more posts like this? Comment down below!
So, this began when we were talking what we like and don’t like about fics. I could not cut this into parts so yeah, this is a bit long :D 
wordscorrupt
I love Peter calling tony mister stark or sir I don’t know I don’t try to get him to call him dad unless some requests it. There’s just something so endearing about it lol and I love the way he says it in the movies it’s adorable
irondadgroupie
Yes! I think Mr Stark is kind of an endearing nickname and usually when people call Tony it, the man is nonchalant but when Peter call him that...the boy has him wrapped around his finger.
I think if Peter thinks of the word Dad, he thinks of his biological father and traces of Ben and Tony. He is so confused so he refuses to call anyone Dad. Plus I think if Peter ever started calling Tony dad, the man would be terrified :D
wordscorrupt
tony's heart skips a few beats from excitement anytime he hears peter say his name. omg tony would be pulling out a cross if peter ever called him dad out of the blue. the only time i could understand is if hes delirious and tony would play along but otherwise tonys calling a priest bc his kid is possessed
irondadgroupie
That is a great idea! Like the enemy knows Tony and Peter are close, he is like a father to the boy so they if there is like a shape shifter as Peter who calls Tony dad, Tony immediately puts the thing into chokehold because his kid does not call him that.
wordscorrupt
omg just the mental image of that. it happens in front of happy or rhodey too and they are like WTF TONY DONT HURT THE BBY
irondadgroupie
But yeah, I like the idea of Peter being out of it, like has a high fever and is barely in the real world, then Tony would be like "Yes, Dad is here, kiddo." And when Peter gets better and hears about it he is so embarrassed.
irondadgroupie
I just had the though that if someone stole Peter's phone and tried to have a conversation with Tony (I don't know, maybe to humiliate Peter) and they wrote the word Dad, Tony is immediately going "Okay, who is this, why do you have my kid's phone?"
wordscorrupt
yesss exactly and tony just never mentions it too. he hears about from bruce or one of the other doctors that took care of him as well
irondadgroupie
Like Tony's motto is: "Yes, he is my kid but I am not his dad"
wordscorrupt
tonys like; yes i take care of him, provide for him, clothe him (too many iron dad pajamas to count), feed him (he eats me out of a house), protect him but im not his dad.
wordscorrupt
peter gets kidnapped by a group of people who think he's tony secret son or something and tony sends a text like "hey bud wondered what you wanted for dinner tonight we're ordering in" and one of the guys texts back "anythings good with me dad" and tony basically fucking smashes through the walls like ten seconds later
irondadgroupie
Yes! And others are like: "Tony, you are such a dad.""I am not, we don't share blood!" Like Tony pays for Peter's school (what the financial aid doesn't cover), makes sure he visits doctor and dentist regularly, keeps his schedule on his phone, buys him new shoes and jackets for winter (he hates Peter's style but the kid likes it so yeah, why not), helps him revise for exams (I can just imagine Tony driving and saying a verb Peter needs to conjugate )
irondadgroupie
Yes! They make sure the style of writing is similar, check few previous messages so they wouldn't be caught, they send the message and are like "yeah, now we can have fun" and ten seconds later a cannon blows up a wall and Tony flies in. "Pretty good job, fellas but you forgot one thing, I am not his dad!"
wordscorrupt
yes! domestic tony is my everything. he definitely pays for peter's school and donates to the programs/clubs that peter is involved in as well. helps him with his college essays and applications. tony got the best doctor and dentist for peter as well and calls in to make his appointments for him. one of tonys favorite pastimes is shopping for clothes for peter online and he always make s sure to throw in one of those dumb science joke shirts everytime. tony making sure that peter is getting his daily nutrition in becuase he was not gonna have the kid pass out on him again because he blood sugar was low.
peters just in the corner, mouth taped shut with duct tape and chained up and he just nods his head like 'duh'
irondadgroupie
Aww! The image of Tony in online shops and occasionally asking Pepper: "You think Peter would like that color?" "Tony, he has like 10 jackets already!" "He could do with a new one, he's a growing boy."
irondadgroupie
I don't think Tony makes the appointments until it is absolutely necessary. Like once Peter complains about neck ache and Tony says: "It might be wisdom tooth, I'll give you a number to a dentist. She works with enhanced individuals." Then he pesters Peter for weeks "Did you make the appointment yet?" But yeah, Peter's mind is like swiss cheese, he never remembers. One day Tony calls him "You have dentist today at 3, I'll pick you up from school." "Mr Stark, I can make my own appointments!" "Yeah, clearly."
wordscorrupt
tony stresses shops but instead of shopping for himself he shops for peter instead
i like to think the reason that peter doesn't make the appointments is because he hates going to the dentist/doctor so he thinks he can just lie about actually going
irondadgroupie
Tony is a trophy!wife inside. He buys Peter vitamins and when he is over, makes sure the boy eats a good breakfast (even if they are running late because you don't fucking skip breakfast!). But yeah, Peter is an idiot and if Tony is not there to remind him, Peter forgets to eat. Once Tony was on a week long business trip and when he came back, Peter fainted into a hug. Like Tony can't even remember how many times he had had to hold Peter's feet up because the boy felt dizzy after a work-out
irondadgroupie
Oh, why is the image of Peter being chained up so adorable? :D He watches as Tony captures the bad guys and then kneels next to him and rips of the tape. "Idiots," Peter calls to the bad guys as Tony just chuckles while working on the chains.
irondadgroupie
And Pepper returns like half the packages that arrive :D Otherwise Peter's room would have no space for the boy
irondadgroupie
Oh yeah, Peter afraid of dentists. Like the boy tries to get out of the appointment claiming he is not feeling well but Tony puts a hand to his forehead and goes "Yeah, sorry, kiddo, you are going." And then Tony guesses what the problem is "I hate dentists too. In my days, they were terrible, not gentle at all, left me with some deep rooted fears. But this lady is so nice and patient and if you are a good boy, she will give you a candy bar after you are done."
wordscorrupt
yes vitamins and protein shakes and everything else to keep peter from passing out every five minutes. loads his backpack with all kinds of snacks to keep him going throughout the day at school. oh my god the image of peter kind of just fainting into tony's arms when trying to go for a hug instead and tony just grabbing him like its not big deal. he knew the kid was going to forget about keeping his diet up.
wordscorrupt
pepper lets tony have the fun then has to return half the things for sure and tony buys so much he doesn't even remmember what he actually all got so he never catches on
wordscorrupt
peter just grumbles as tony bribes him into going to the dentist. thats the one thing tony is not above. he gets that peter hates going and tony doesn't blame him at all but he has to get the kid there one way or another
wordscorrupt
its great that the doctor tony chooses for him works at the compound which makes the most sense. peter is a terrible patient when he's sick or injured, trying to fight off the doctor and attach himself to tony instead. hes probably more terrible when he's alert and forced to go down for a checkup and just grumbling the entire time and glaring at tony for making him do this in the first place
irondadgroupie
Yeah, Tony orders a bunch of all kind of protein products, there are cardboard boxes of them in nearly every room, even in bathroom because one time Peter fainted when getting out of the bath and had Tony not heard the splash, the boy most certainly would have drowned.
irondadgroupie
Tony catches Peter like: "Wow, wow, buddy, let's get you lying down." And he sets the kid on the floor and pats his face while Pepper gets fruit juice. Yeah, opening the packages is like second Christmas. Tony is always surprised what he ordered :D I also think Tony spends time on online auctions, getting movie memorabilia and such for his boy
irondadgroupie
AWW Peter pouting and looking so adorable Tony takes a million pictures. The dentist is very understanding and explains beforehand each procedure. But Peter still grips the handles of the chair because he is nervous.
"You are doing so well, sweetie," the woman says and Peter relaxes a bit. "You have beautiful teeth, they need just a little cleaning up."
wordscorrupt
Peter nearly tears the leather from the chair from gripping it to hard. Tony eventually reaches out to hold one of his hands and Peter instantly relaxes
he thinks he's in the clear once his cleaning is done and he's helped up from the chair until the dentist says they need to talk about his x-rays and how it looks like his wisdom teeth are impacted
irondadgroupie
"Helped up from the chair" makes it sound like Peter suffered from a dizzy spell and had to lay down for a while. Happened to me after my wisdom teeth operation :D In Finland, we don't get anesthesia when taking out wisdom teeth (unless the person has severe fear or the operation is large), it's just pain killers and numbing the area with drugs
"It's so embarrassing," Peter muttered as he accepted the cup of water Tony offered.
irondadgroupie
I think Peter would be doing a stress test and the heart monitor goes crazy with something abnormal and the boy just collapses. Maybe his heart starts beating too fast and they have to use cardioversion
wordscorrupt
Oh man he’s terrified the entire time not knowing what’s going on. Is he dying??
irondadgroupie
Or maybe they are sparring and suddenly Peter gets out of breath and grabs his chest and collapses on the ground.
Tony is certain he killed the boy
wordscorrupt
Tony’s thinking Peter just fainted from stress but then why would he grab his chest. He’s asking Friday if 15 year olds can have heart attack’s at the same time he’s racing to the medbay with Peter in his arms
irondadgroupie
Just think of the surgery day, Tony might be more nervous than Peter because they need to stop the kid's heart to repair it
"Don't worry, I'll be okay," Peter tells him and May with a brave smile.
irondadgroupie
Yeah, Peter fainting from stress is common because he tended to run himself down. Tony had gotten very skilled in reviving the kid, usually pouring cold water on his face was enough. But now he debated whether chest compression were needed.
irondadgroupie
You know, one idea has been flying in my head. Peter's blood sugar dropping dangerously low that Tony has to feed him jam or something with lots of sugar to bring him back around. Like Peter would lie on his lap and Tony had to feed him the stuff with a spoon. Like with a diabetic patient, he rubs the jam to the boy's mouth, gums and under his tongue
wordscorrupt
oh lord tony thinking about the fact that peter could technically be dead while in the operating room. lets not even mention post surgery, where peter has a long scar down  his chest and has about a million tubes coming from his chest. ive seen patients in the cardiac icu and its freaking ridiculous how many machines and lines they are hooked up to.
yes tony trying to hold peter up at the same time trying to force (gently!) food down his throat to get his blood sugar back up and peters kind of just out of it
one time peter passes out on stage during a decathalon competition
irondadgroupie
Tony has to practically massage the boy
irondadgroupie
's throat to make him swallow the food and Peter just doesn't answer, just moans or mumbles when Tony shoves another spoonful of jam into his mouth.
Can you imagine Peter's blood sugar dropping during the night and Tony literally can't wake the kid up in the morning.
wordscorrupt
oh my god that would be terrifying. for a second he thinks the kid has died in his sleep but once he kind of gets his mind straight, he checks his pulse and he still has one
tony has to carry around of those machines that checks a persons blood sugar levels
irondadgroupie
Yes! It was during the last question. Tony was watching and he saw the signs that yeah, Peter is going down soon. But he was too far and couldn't get to the stage to catch the boy.
wordscorrupt
the entire audience gasps of course but then imagine their reaction when tony stark of all people is rushing up to the stage. peter hits his head pretty hard on the podium as well and by the time tony gets to him, he's bleeding from his headsterday a
irondadgroupie
Yeah, Peter's alarm went off several times and Tony finally comes to the room. "Kiddo," he shakes his shoulder. "Come on, up you get, you'll be late for school." But Peter just lies on the bed and he is completely limp. Tony nearly has a heart attack when the boy doesn't open his eyes. I can just imagine him starting to shake Peter's shoulders "This isn't funny, kid! Wake up!"
irondadgroupie
Oh, Peter definitely hits his head. Tony immediately kneels beside the boy. "Peter," he taps his face. "Hey, kiddo, wake up!" But the boy doesn't react and Tony take of his jacket to press it against the wound
wordscorrupt
Tony rushes peter down To the medbay because while peter still has a pulse he’s not waking up. Bruce is there as tony runs in a wild look on his face
Tony demands that they bring down the curtains on stage to give them privacy and then starts ordering people around one of them to grab any kind of sugary food they can find
irondadgroupie
Bruce takes Peter's blood pressure and checks sugar levels and immediately starts setting an IV. "He is fine, Tony, it's just his metabolism screwing with him again." He gives Peter a shot of glucose (the kind they use to treat diabetes patients or people who have alcohol poisoning) and it doesn't take long until Peter is opening his eyes, still loopy and confused why Tony immediately smothers him into a hug.
irondadgroupie
"Don't worry, he is okay, this happens all the time," Tony says and lifts Peter's eyelid to check his pupils. He quickly checked the boy's neck for possible breaks and when he deems it safe, moves Pete's head a bit so that airways stay open. "He just needs something sugary to drink and eat."
irondadgroupie
"I have this," A girl from the opposing team offered a bag of fruit shaped candy that was coated in sugar. Tony smiled: "That is just perfect." Tony crouches lower and opens the boy's mouth until he can place one piece in there.
irondadgroupie
But honestly, since Peter has a head injury, the more realistic alternative is that they bring a cold compress to hold on his forehead
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aggressiveviking · 5 years
Note
advice for artists wanting to post their art but being nervous abt it?
oh man, im so flattered you’re asking me.
i had a pretty rough start at it. ive been posting my art online since around 2008 (and i only got noticed by more people 2 years ago) and it can be a really stressful and unpleasant experience - not because of hate but because of invisibility. nothing feels worse that spending weeks or months on a piece and then nobody liking it or even looking at it in the end.when you get over that problem you face another - people stealing and using you work without permission or sourcing just because you’re not popular enough for people to notice the work is stolen.
its a really tough road - im not gonna lie. i actually gave up on drawing for around 2 years because of my horrible experience online. it really discouraged me and i lost confidence in my own abilities. it made me even forget why i started drawing in the first place.
im telling you this story because going through THIS is what eventually made me get over my nervousness while posting online. this is what i learned from that experience:(it wont grantee you wont have to go through the bad part but i hope it helps you)
1. Make it clear to yourself why you’re drawing and just keep repeating that to yourself. For me and probably for everyone else that reason is - because we like it, because we enjoy doing it. Putting that stuff online can shift your views on your art and you can start valuing it by how many likes or views you get - and if its a little then its trash. - NO. that’s not true. try to distance yourself from that mindset. the value of your drawing is the joy you experienced drawing it, and the joy it can bring to the people who have liked and commented on it. its a little hard but that will help you a lot in the long-run. try to always draw what YOU want, what makes YOU happy. be selfish with your art. its yours - you can draw whatever you like.
2. Just post. Thats something i wish someone would have told me in the beginning. Just post. Whenever. dont think about optimal posting times, or if your drawing is pretty enough of not, or if its clean or black and white, or colored.(yea those things work but you shouldn't drive yourself crazy over them. because of me worrying about that ive ended up not posting 2/3 of my art and its not worth it, trust me. there will always be at least one person that will appreciate it. it doesn't have to be perfect) if you want to share it - share it! 
3. Put your signature on there. a name, your nick-name, a unique squiggle. Put your mark on it. It doesn't have to be extremely visible - i always put my name in my drawings and most people don’t even know i do it cause i hide it in the lines. for me this works. that way if someone steals it, or uses it without me knowing, it still has my mark on it. 
4. Have fun. dont take yourself too seriously. talk to people. fool around. just have fun. and when you feel you can’t - try to distance yourself for a while from your online presence. draw just for yourself. experiment.try something new. or go back to your basics. whatever. just search for your joy.
and thats basically it. thats what im doing. im not a very popular artist, and im not a professional one (completely self-taught, doing this because i love it) but i still hope this helps you!
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