#im very proud of us and what we accomplished and i had SO MUCH FUN writing with you fenix <3

[that-tall-queer-bassist]

Gift fics for @tiredfoxtf!

So! Me and my beloved Fénix were so inspired by TiredFox's beautiful art for Smalletho Week that we decided to do a collaborative little project together!!

@giddyfenix wrote Joel's POV!

And I wrote Etho's POV!

Happy reading folks!!

[imaginesig]

Paris 2024

Paul Aron x Olympian!Reader

SMAU

y/c = your country

What is your journey like to gold? I'm in love with Ilona Maher and wanted to make another Paul Aron fic, this is the outcome

ynln

liked by annaaron_, paularon_, ilonamaher, and 829,382 others

ynln: Paris, here I come 🏅🏉

tagged: y/c_rugby

ynln good time to say im in love with @/ilonamaher ??

ilonamaher perfect time! cant wait to see ya soon

ynln "miss rabbit has fainted, miss rabbit has fainted again"

paularon_ 🤨🤨

friend1 the first pic??😭

ynln reenactment of me when I found out 😭 I was in disbelief

paularon_ you're gonna kill it!! Bring home gold, I love you ❤️

ynln I love you too!!

friend2 yes ma'am 👏

lettiemng so exciting!!

olliebearman big accomplishment

aronralf congrats! Show em what you're made of

annaaron_ find me a hot Olympian

ynln ill be scouting 🫡

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paularon_

liked by user3, ynln, aronralf, and 818,828 others

paularon_ off week ☀️🌊

Tagged: aronralf, annaaron_, ynln

ynln so much fun 🫶🫶

annaaron_ let this trip live on as it’s the first time team women beat you in EVERYTHING

ynln 📢📢📢

Paularon_ because you guys CHEATED

aronralf 📢📢📢

Ynln don’t copy me while spreading lies

User1 not the Aaron + Y/n vacay

user2 y/n looks gorgeous

user3 the sibling pic is the cutest ever

User4 I can’t decide who I’m jealous of Y/n or Paul

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ynln

liked by user3, annaaron_, user82, and 791,929 others

ynln: ootd 👙🤿

tagged: annaaron_, paularon_, aronralf

used1 omg what are you reading??

ynln in that pic “Fathers and Sons”

annaaron_ early morning surf sesh >>>>

ynln without the boys >>>>

Paularon_ looking good 😘

user2 stop she can surf too??

user3 it’s so unfair

user4 right?? Y/n leave some talent for the rest of us!!

Teammate1 calm before the storm

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ynln posted 4 stories!

captions: (1) on Wednesdays we wear pink (2) 🎶: As It Was by Harry Styles

captions: (1) midday flight? no problem just go on a running date early! (2) back to reality 🏉

ynln

liked by teammate1, teammate2, user43, and 892,929 others

ynln: hearing up 🔥🏅👩‍🏭

Tagged: y/c_rugby

paularon_ damnnnnnn 🍑

ynln thank you 🤭🤭 (I will make fun of you for this comment for the rest of your life)

teammate1 are those my workout shorts??

ynln …no

user1 ok leg day

user2 she said thick thighs save lives

user3 she can save me

user4 I need the leg day routine

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paularon_

liked by ynln, user33, hitechgp, and 917,828 others

paularon_: not the result we wanted, but we'll learn and come back stronger

Tagged: no one

Ynln still so proud!! You raced hard and had an amazing quali session. I’m sorry I had to miss it but I love you ❤️❤️

Paularon_ ❤️

User1 miss girl is leaving for the Olympics tomorrow and says sorry for not being at his race

user2 gold metal for the best gf

user3 Pole Aron will be back!!

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ynln

liked by ilonamaher, y/c_rugby, annaaron_, and 872,928 others

ynln: a hot new bombshell has entered the Villa

tagged no one

ilonamaher show em what they can’t have‼️

ynln show em what a catch you are‼️

paularon_ MY hot bombshell but get it ig

ynln you’re the only connection I’m looking for dw

teammate1 that last 2 picsreally screams sexy

Ynln ikr 😏😍

Teammate2 irresistible

annaaron_ remember to mention the bombshell at home

ynln I’d never forget

user1 I love the inside Love Island joke it seems most athletes are in on

user2 right I live for Ilona’s tik toks

user3 I hope we get Y/n cameos

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ynln

liked by teammate1, teammate5, teammate8, and 719,992 others

ynln: bronze bound…

tagged y/c_rugby

Teammate …but we’re not stopping there

ynln HELL YEA

Paularon_ I’ve been on the edge of my seat all week

ynln it’s not stopping til the very end

user1 the ft screenshot is too cute

user2 such hardworking ladies

user3 push on to gold!!

user4 I just love women

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paularon_ posted a story

caption: 🇪🇪🔜🇫🇷 @/aronralf @/annaaron_

replies:

ynln

Paul Aron

what are you doing

where are you going

Smh

I thought you knew your flags

I do

I guess what I want is an explanation

well... you'll be in a semifinals soon and with the way stats are looking you guys will fly right through no problem so...

so???

the aron family is making a trip to Paris

we're celebrating a metal either way

I'm crying Paul

thats too sweet

you guys shouldn't have, its hard enough to wrangle everyone together you shouldn't have used that time to fly out

trust me we all want to be there for you and it'll be a nice trip reguardless

plus we all hate that this much of the games have gone by through a tv screen

I love you guys, I love you

we (but mostly I) love you too

aronralf posted a story!

caption: ✈️🥖 @/paularon_ @/annaaron_

replies:

ynln

this is insane

ive taken you've already messaged Paul

yes and it ended in tears

you guys are crazy

true, but your bf is the craziest

with or without us Paul was gonna be in those stands

someone must be cutting onions in a room nearby

sap

I don't appreciate the attitude 🙄

annaaron_ posted a story!

caption: catching flights not feelings @/aronralf @/paularon_

replies:

ynln

first off LOVE that color on you

and second I loath you guys for being this sweet

the sweatshirt is yours to borrow anytime

and as if you wouldn't do the same thing

flying out on a small hope we dont choke and lose next round??

Y/n, you go to as many races of Paul's as you possible can (at your own expense) and watch the ones you cant live no matter the time, you constantly ask Ralf about his endeavors and keeps tabs on stats and such to bring up with him later, AND you listen to all my rants no matter how important and remember the details

flying out to France is nothing compared to the effort you put into this family

I love you guys so much

we love you too

now get some rest to kick ass, I didn't fly in the same row as my brothers for 4 hours to see you get less than gold

💖

💖

ynln

liked by y/c_rugby, aronralf, user4, and 728,829 others

ynln: finals bound!! Im so so grateful for these fantastic ladies who have taught me so much!! I cant taste victory already

tagged: y/c_rugby, teammate1, teammate2, teammate3

paularon_ smashed it 💪👏

ynln light work🥱🥱

teammate1 can’t wait for the next match

Teammate2 coffee for good luck?

Ynln always

user1 I’m never more patriotic than when the women of my country play

user2 my whole family has been captivated by you girls

annaaron_ and you were scared about choking

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paularon_ posted 2 stories!

Caption: (1) Y/n you are so amazing in so many different ways. You are hardworking, talented, humble, funny, and beautiful. I've watched as your eyes light up when it comes to rugby and ive watched as you poured your heart into every minute you play. (2) No one deserves the gold more than you and the rest of the team. Every single women out there has what it takes and more. Every one of you have spent countless hours dreaming and working towards this. So congratulations on how far you've come, and best of lucking taking that final step up to the top of the podium! P.S. Ma armastan sind, Y/n

replies

ynln

paul

you cant just post things like this with no warning

I started crying right before media stuff

oops 😬🤷‍♂️

dont be so smug

but seriously thank you for all the support! Without it I know I would've lost it because of the pressure long ago, I truly owe so much of what got me here to you!! I love you so much ❤️

I love you too ❤️

olliebearman

please pass on a good luck from me and Estelle! We've been watching

will do!!

dinobeganovic

rooting for her💪

tell Y/n she's got fans in all corners of the globe

thank you, she appreciates the support!

annaron_

liked by ynln, user32, paularon_, and 193,929 others

annaaron_: meet me in Paris 🥐☕️

tagged aronralf, paularon_

ynln gorgeous gorgeous girl

annaaron_ we’re gonna have so much fun once the Olympics are over

paularon_ photo credit??

annnaaron_ you gave it to yourself

user1 you ate that first pic up

used2 so you’re telling me the entire Aron family is in Paris for Y/n??

user3 I’m in love with all the siblings at this point

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olympic_updates

liked by user3, user82, user92, and 993,929 others

olimpic_updates: Y/C rugby star Y/n L/n's boyfriend as been spotted in person for the final match! Aron was also spotted with the rest of his family heading toward the stands!

tagged no one

user1 couple goals

user2 THE power couple

user3 I need Y/n to win gold and Paul to win the championship

used4 the ultimate power move

user5 I just looked at my boyfriend and sighed

user6 he looks so good!!

user7 one thing about Paul is he’s gonna show up and show 👏 up👏

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paularon_ posted 2 stories!

captions: (1) game time @/annaaron_ (2) THESE GIRLS ARE GOLD MEDALISTS!!!!

ynln posted a story!

caption: its been a long time coming but...

ynln

liked by dinobeganovic, lettiemng, paularon_, and 983,239 others

ynln: So many words, so little space. I am so grateful of everyone who have supported me up to this point, of these wonderful ladies who have taught me something new everyday, and to Y/C for taking a chance on me! Same thing in '28?

tagged y/c_rugby

paularon_ ❤️❤️

ynln ❤️❤️

annaaron_ thats my sister in law!!

ynln we're not married??

annaaron_ well is Paul doesn't put a ring on it than I will

lettiemng I love you!! Its so deserved

dinobeganovic you were amazing!! All the love

ynln DINOOOOOOO 🥹🫶

aronralf truely inspiring! Congrats 💪🥇

ynln thank you!!!

user1 YES MA'AM

user2 me and my little sister have seen screaming at the tv!!

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paularon_

liked by user1, user43, ynln, and 823,983

paularon_: I AM SO SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! After seeing the mass amount of time and every you've put into rugby I have no doubt in my mind that you deserve this. To mark this special occasion, I'm announcing my retirement from racing to become a full time WAG. I love you so much, Y/n 🥇🏉❤️

tagged ynln

ynln I love you so much ❤️

paularon_ I love you too ❤️

user5 second pic is goals

user1 theyre such goals

user2 my standards were raised so high by him

user3 when they panned over to him celebrating after showing Y/n 😭

user4 such a gorgeous couple

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Bonus- after the olympics

ynln

liked by aronralf, lettiemng, user43, and 829,392 others

ynln: city of love 💖

tagged paularon_, annaaron_

comments have been disabled

[taptrial2]

I don't know if you've explained it before (im a relatively new follower), but may I ask why you don't like agit?

okay, just for you im gonna reread it and bitch about everything that comes up that i hate. fair warning this ended up like 1000 words at LEAST. i have a lot of thoughts about agit.

EDIT: put it in google docs for a word count, its 2000 words. this is an essay

"uh yeah thats me youre probably wondering how i got into this situation.."

tucker as an influencer pisses me off so bad. tucker is a TECH geek. he likes tinkering with hardware and software. he is proud of those things. yes, he does hunger for money, but he doesn't go about it by trying to climb the social ladder, which is inherently what "influencing" is about. i don't think he'd want an audience, he's too busy coding mario 64 from scratch in his free time. he never shows serious interest in climbing the social ladder. why would he be a social media nut. i hate it.

on that note i strongly dislike the "modernization" in agit. the comic is supposed to take place very shortly after phantom planet, and suddenly everyone has iphones now. vlad's old beige whale computer is made fun of, is a punchline. a huge part of danny phantom for me that i genuinely love is the 2000s-ness of it all, the PDAs and mp3 players. it's a shame to see all that stuff go, especially when you're keeping the characters and timeline otherwise the same. it feels jarring.

i have a lot of problems with the timeline in agit, actually. we'll get there when we get there

AH yeah, the reality jumps or whatever. i keep forgetting about them because they're so nothing. so much of agit feels like padding and the cowboy cutaway + aztec cutaway feel just like that: cutaways. all the time jumps are filler and a waste of time. very little is accomplished narratively, and they eat up far too much page space. the little narrative value they do have could have been given in a quarter of the amount of pages they actually take up.

ALSO omg this is just a nitpick but sometimes pages and pages go by without proper backgrounds, just characters on solid color background fills. it makes the whole thing feel cheap and the characters feel like they're talking to each other in the void instead of a Place. once you take notice of it you can't unsee it. what backgrounds ARE present are painfully simplistic and feel claustrophobic, they feel like they have no depth or width and are trapped in the panels.

i liked vlad's appearance at first, and he does have some family guy funny moments but i hate how he's handled overall. we'll get to it

dan fusing with clockwork is pretty sick though. that's pretty cool i like that. it's neat

sam and tucker are already pretty nothing in the show, but they're even more nothing in agit, ESPECIALLY sam. they feel almost interchangeable. sam has had all of her rough edges sanded away. she needs to be Cool and Likeable so they just made her completely bland. there is no friction to be had between friends, they don't bicker, they just go YOOO at each other and have no other real chemistry. the whole time she's just cardboard.

CINEMASINS DING the first time danny puts the specter deflector on vlad in the show it does NOT depower him completely and he can push through it for an impressively long time, but in agit he's instantly de-ghosted. DING. im just biased because i hate this shit but still

OH MY GOD. OKAY. I JUST GOT TO A PART THAT PISSES ME OFF SO BAD OK SO sam asks vlad how many countries he could have fed to build his stupid secret football field lair (said affectionately) and he says "thirteen. i am who i am." I AM WHO I AM. THAT'S A SPECIAL TOOL THAT WILL HELP US LATER.

the cowboy cutaway lasts SEVERAL pages and adds NOTHING of value. NOTHING. its literally just "oops dropped the infimap ok picked it up now back to the important conversation we were having before". its so nothing. and it goes on. for ten pages.

i like that valerie is given something to do, but it's not much. at least she's more interesting than everyone else in the novel. it's kind of boring that she just... had her beliefs that all ghosts are evil reaffirmed... but i assume it's setup for the next graphic novel, which has me worried.

the characterization in agit overall is bland. danny is too nice, vlad is too self-aware, sam and tucker are nothing, and valerie is... badass? and i find dan being secretly a scared softie all along rather trite. i worry that the two-dimensional characterization will lead to a valerie that is villainized and stripped of her nuance. i worry about that very much.

i hate how much agit brings up vlad liking football. can we get a new joke please.

ok. let's address the "ghosts are emotions" thing. there IS something there that i can appreciate. when there is no physical body that remains, what is there to go off of but consciousness, the "soul"? what happens when your mind becomes warped over years of existence, your consciousness decaying more and more over time until you're nothing but a blob of ectoplasm that could dissolve into the ether any minute? it's interesting.

however, a glitch in time decrees the entire ghost zone to be a realm of emotion, and for ghosts to be made of emotions, and that every ghost has a Primary Emotion that they are made up of. which is stupid. and i hate it.

nobody, no matter how melted their mind is for some reason or another, is the embodiment of one specific thing, and the simplification of the human soul to just one feeling or purpose is a disservice to the complexity of what it means to be a human being. it's odious to me, a betrayal of everything people are made of, our multitudes. i have been boiled down to someone "angry" far too many times to be able to appreciate someone's entire state of being as existing for only one particular thing.

also, they cherrypick the ghosts for the explanation of the emotions thing. what emotion is the box ghost. greed is not an emotion. liking boxes is not an emotion. the box ghost, god love him, is not just one thing; even a ghost like him contains multitudes, multiple desires.

the idea of a singular purpose also makes me sincerely worried for the people reading this novel and trying to embody it. as a teenager, trying to embody characters i idolized in cartoons only took a toll on my mental health and made it more difficult to navigate relationships. i understand not everyone is a sponge in this way, but as someone who was raised by tv instead of people, i cannot overemphasize the importance of fiction in an adolescent's life. it helps construct their worldview. especially for someone who is isolated from the outside world and has to construct their reality from the media they consume, like i had to as a child.

danny fenton is a 14 year old boy. he is a child. we have many pieces of fiction exploring how playing hero as a teenage boy and shouldering the emotional burdens of other people over your own is fundamentally damaging to your ability to navigate life in a healthy way (adventure time is an example of this that does it really well, steven universe is an example of this that i hate for unrelated reasons). i, as a 14 year old myself at some point, felt my responsibility was to other people above myself. that is treated as heroic in the narrative. it is not heroic. it is damaging.

danny was allowed to be of many minds in the show. he desired a lot of different things, fought for a lot of different reasons. to give this child the sole responsibility of healing two worlds and treating it as sweet, as something to be celebrated, instead of something horrifying that no child should ever have to shoulder... is odd.

speaking of, i have watched danny phantom all the way through not too long ago. i have a fresh pair of eyes not tainted by 20-odd years of fandom fermentation. the danny i know in the show is sweet and heroic, yes. but he's selfish and immature, he picks fights and throws the first punch, insults people to their face unprovoked, and is generally a little shit. and he's a misogynist, lest we forget.

i truly believe our danny would not want to shoulder this responsibility. he does not have the emotional maturity to do so. he refuses fights when he can, but does demonstrably find it thrilling to fight when it does come to blows. he's a person, he contains reasonable contradictions to have, especially when youre 14.

danny has very little sympathy for ghosts. he doesn't much care about their emotional wellbeing or their interests. he has very black and white thinking - he is the hero, they are the villains, he beats the bad guys. to have him suddenly say "yes, i not only have the capacity to help these people, but it is my duty to help them" is absolute gibberish. that's not danny.

not to mention that most of these ghosts are ADULTS who have been dead for decades. for him to take on the responsibility of helping ghosts, he is shouldering the trauma of death and some subjects he simply does not have the worldly experience to understand, let alone help with. that's fucking ridiculous.

i also feel like "i'm gonna heal the rift between worlds" would lead to a star vs the forces of evil series finale situation that causes WAY more problems and raises WAY more questions than it solves. the ghost zone and the human world are complimentary forces, the spiritual and the physical, and i find it much more interesting when they ARE seperate and were never as one in the first place. it gives more room for lore expansion, more room for stories. in my opinion.

let's talk about vlad. i HATE how vlad is handled in agit.

this is, again, supposed to take place right after phantom planet. i know the fandom hates talking about phantom planet, but let's fucking talk about phantom planet. it's canon. we cannot ignore it. it is part of the show.

in phantom planet, vlad conspires to nearly destroy the world to get what he wants. he squeezes the world's politicians for billions of dollars and wants to be considered the hero on top of it all, the one who saves the day. he is selfish and uncaring.

so you expect me, the audience, to accept that very soon after phantom planet, vlad is self aware enough to realize that he is the source of his own misery.

BULL.

SHIT.

vlad is not emotionally mature enough to have this revelation. in canon, it took him a decade of hiding in a cave without his ghost powers and with everyone he cared about long dead for him to realize he had done anything wrong. even then, he did not have the energy to do anything, to mobilize himself. all he could do was hunker down and wallow.

thusly, vlad realizing he has pushed everyone away himself after one fight with a time god makes no sense. it does not align with anything we have seen of him, pre-s3 flanderization or post. he still has other people he can blame, other things he can try. he still has plenty of walls and he can still deflect. this is not a situation in which someone's years and years of arrested development and denial can be crumbled.

i feel many think this is an earned moment because of the real life time that has passed between the end of the show and now, but in the chronological timeline, it is abrupt, inconsistent, and puzzling.

vlad dedicating himself to making amends with everyone he's hurt after one fight is stupid and i hate it. it was not earned. it's fanservice. it's pandering.

i also find the odd backpedaling on dan himself odd. his depiction in tue is very much one embracing his lack of humanity and caring. to add in that he actually does miss his family and his whole deal in that episode was just a mask feels disingenuous to me. it feels very "forgiving white diamond"-y to me, and for context, i fucking hate how steven universe handled the diamonds on every conceivable level, so it bringing to mind steven universe makes me want to turn my skin inside out

"oooo im secretly so lonely actuallyyy" this is so boring. this is so boring.

also, vlad abruptly deciding hes nice now is definitely a plot device to get dan a temporary body for some goddamn reason. him disintegrating because of something something quantum time mechanics is also arbitrary.

also its so funny that at the end they were like "turns out ghosts are feelings and stuff! anyway time to kick the notoriously harmless box ghost's ass" like come on man. fuck you.

anyway i hate the steven universe-ification of danny phantom that agit presents and i reject it thoroughly. thank you for coming to the hater conference

[hostilemuppet]

So, backstory. I (39M) married my husband (29M) a few years ago (I was 36, he was 26). We got together after a passionate night of lovemaking in a motel room after meeting in a gay bar. I realised the next day that the handsome stranger was actually the guy who had made multiple attempts on one of my brothers (28M, then 24) life (dont ask why hes not in prison, money can accomplish anything) and figured out pretty quickly that he was using me to make my brother miserable. Now since he was playing with my heart, I thought that at least I should have my own fun, yknow? So I started messing with him a little, encouraging PDA that he wasn't really that interested in (were both pretty high profile so public image was important to him, and also im not sure if he even liked boys?), "influencing" him to buy me things I didnt need. I'm not a monster, I was just fucking with him a little for funsies.

Anyway eventually I asked if he actually loved me etc etc so he bought us cruise tickets and the proposal was beautiful and the ceremony even more so. He moved in and I let him bring very few of his belongings (hes a hippie). Soon we had twins (0F, 0M) (he stayed home while I worked (my job is not important)) and life was great. Soon the cat got let out the bag and he found out that I knew that he was trying to use me for my brother (who was also in on the situation). He said something about divorce so I threatened to tell everyone every little detail, even that /thing/ he likes. What followed was 8 more months of constant psychological warfare and the best sex I've ever had, until the unthinkable happened.

We actually started to fall for each other. Now I'm not proud, what with the twins and all, but I instantly filed for divorce (i am also a child of divorce, okay, I've got commitment issues and it made it too real, weve all got flaws). He got full custody and I got to return to my bachelor lifestyle. And it. was. MISERABLE. I missed him so much. I missed pissing him off. I missed when he'd get mad and put dairy milk in my coffee to make me sick. I missed the way every time we woke up hed say "morning, my bitch husband who I hate" and id call him sweetie and kiss him on the cheek as he stewed in rage. I even missed the kids!

A couple years (and several rehab admissions, mostly mine) later we ran into each other at some charity event that I don't even remember what was for. I asked him how the twins were doing. He said they were good. He said I was looking well. I returned the compliment. We both had some wine. Next thing I knew, it was morning and we were married again. Now, I know what you're thinking, but he said he missed me too, and yeah he's the only partner I've ever had that's lasted longer than 2 months so maybe I don't have the best history but I really think we can make it work this time!

Tl;dr: AITA for turning my little brothers mortal enemy gay?

Edit: stop asking who I am, none of you know who I am, I am anonymous, that is the point duh

Edit 2: i am not Floyd [lastname]-[lastname2]

Edit 3: I mean it, I am not Floyd. I dont care if the ages and timelines match up

Edit 4: just bc my husband is a hippie doesn't mean he's the only hippie you guys know of

Edit 5: a lot of celebrities have fraternal twins

Edit 6: fuck you guys

[godza]

college tip blog. transcript under the cut since it looks like shit on mobile

welcome to elise's second blog. this is an advice list, courtesy of me being done with my first year of college. i did kinda well for myself my first year (3.8/4 gpa) and that was accomplished despite going to the hospital for two weeks. we love to see it. these will de divided into three categories, dorms, academics, and involvement.

category one: DORMING

you may or may not be dorming, if you arent feel free to ignore me. college dorms are a lawless place full of hooligans. try to get one the quiet buildings if your school has them. mine didn't so i had to hear girls screeching over the bachelor every week. and lots of loud loud music. dorms are kinda sensory hell. be on very good terms with your roommate. they are on your team, if they aren't, try to negotiate with them so they stop sucking. my roommate was a bit of an alcoholic and had sex with a boy while i was in the room but she was nice most of the time.

don't get any decorations that take up surface area. your desk space is precious. decorate your walls only or bring small trinkets. make sure to bring your own lights, the room probably has one sucky overhead lamp. don't eat too often in the room, it absorbs smell and heat and will take forever to air out. get a small trashcan, not a big one. the big one will start to smell, and will be a bigger hassle to take to the dumpster. do your laundry way more often than you want to. towels and shit will pile up. use a towel twice, hang it on your closet door so it doesnt get smelly. bring a lot of clothes. you will not want to do laundry. rewear clothes before you wash them so you do less laundry. nobody will notice because they do it too. use the shit out of your meal plan. eat so much. the freshman 15 is a good thing. feel free to tell me more tricks, maybe i can use them next year!

category two: ACADEMICS

PARTICIPATE IN CLASS. RAISE YOUR HAND. participating will near automatically get you in the teacher's good books, and cause you to pay closer attention. wake up an hour or two before your first class of the day so you can get a good breakfast and time to take your morning slow. try to get to your work on time. i procrastinate a lot, im literally procrastinating my work by writing this. try to get your work done at least a day before the deadline, so you can feel relieved and proud of yourself. never feel shy to ask for extensions if you made poor time management decisions, most teachers won't mind.

professors aren't your friends, but they aren't your enemies either. stay on good terms with them, and they'll love you. you don't need to be a teacher's pet, just tell them good morning and raise your hand once a day. DON'T buy your textbooks before class starts. check libgen, check pdfdrive, for a free copy of your textbook. i tell this to everybody, even the professors. you will probably want a device of some sort, i recommend doing work on an ipad or other sort of tablet. i love the app pdfdrive, thats where i keep my textbooks to annotate them. notability is another useful school app. try not to skip class, and if you do, come up with an excuse to email the teacher. try to make friends in classes, or at least someone you would be able to do group projects with. you don't need to be actual friends, just someone who you can talk to about the class.

category three: INVOLVEMENT

JOIN CLUBS. JOIN A FUCK TON OF CLUBS. that's where you're most likely to make friends! join the art club, gsa, the club for your major, the gaming club, the anime club. i'm in choir, art, and anime club. these people have your interests, and you'll be able to pick out at least one person who is similar to you and tolerable. there should be a club fair at the start of each semester, check out every single table to see what's available. have fun!!!!!!!!!!

at my school, there is the main building where the gym, dining hall, and counseling offices are. the hallway leading to the dining hall is called main street. on main street, local and national business/volunteer groups will set up booths. i've signed up to donate stem cells there, i've sampled honey (tasted like shit), ive done all kinds of shit and gotten opportunities just by talking to the people at the tables. even if i'm not who they're looking for, i put my email on that list, to see if i could be that person in the future. when you're in the final two years of school, connections and experiences and internships will be huge. make yourself look good as fuck by taking advantage of as many opportunities as possible. put your name out there! do everything! doing things will make you happy, keep you busy and away from wallowing in your dorm room. you might love the new hobby you picked up, you might meet someone new, you might fucking hate whatever you do. now you know you hate that thing! now you know!

CONCLUSION

DO EVERYTHING. BE PREPARED BUT DON'T WORRY IF YOU AREN'T. YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN YOU. IF I GOT A NEAR PERFECT GPA WHILE HAVING THE WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE SO CAN YOU! remember: Cs GET DEGREES. try your best, that's all you can do!

[beefriender]

Today i went to a lego convention that was in town, but i lacked the foresight to actually sign up to display anything. So instead i will be posting photos i took at home of the stuff i brought there to display online

now this first one is perhaps my largest moc whom i built roughly exactly a year ago. i had been watching gundam with a couple friends and. really. really liked the guntank. his shoulders can open up and this thing is by no means complete, as evidenced by the haphazard color placement and awkward leg joints (he can transform, kinda.) i am mostly proud of his arms and especially his gun. he weighs like 5 pounds hes a really really big guy

next one and maybe my favorite is an old bionicle MOC i had created 2-3 years prior, in the spirit of halloween actually. can you tell that skullman is one of my favorite robot masters? i think its kinda obvious. im particularly fond of the shape i was able to make with his whole like spine ribcage thing going on, but it doesnt hold up spectacularly to time as i have to replace some of the parts frequently. such is the life of style

as for this one, this is my oldest moc, and what got me ultimately back full swing into lego again. he is (heavily) based on swordman from megaman 8 as i think he just has an awesome concept and design. this is especially apparent in the VERY unusual way his torso and hips connect, as to kindof mimic the weird magnet thing sword man has for his body and of course his giant sword arm. i dont really display it here but his hands are fun and can kinda articulate but they never make "natural" looking poses, but they make one hell of a fist shape and can hold objects. i mentioned this guy is my oldest but that is merely "the oldest moc i havent scrapped apart" and has a very long (relatively) history. i built him long ago in mid 2016 and he actually had most of the same looks as he does now. his legs for instance havent actually been changed once since i built them and the right arm shares the same fate. his torso used to be one big part but i completely rebuilt it with a bunch of smaller parts in 2019 and even though it looks basically the same im satisfied i was able to accomplish that look completely on my own. and of course his strange connection in the middle has always been there, though they used to not have those friction extensions, which made him hilariously floppy, but he still could stand on his own with good balancing. his sword arm used to be a regular arm and he just carried two very large swords, that sword arm i actually finally built much later in 2019 when i finally had the cash that let me buy a sword worthy of such an important build in my life. he likely will persist through my life and i will never be truly done but this is a great milestone to show off to others right now

coming off of that massive block of text for a time long gone, we have a silly little ride armor once again inspired by megaman that i quite enjoy. there isnt a whole lot to say but that gun can spin and i think that is the most important thing any toy could have and finally.

crab

[tumortunes]

updates

halloween was fun! we went to lin lin's friends house again. i dressed up as aang and nathan was appa. i thrifted my whole outfit! it was super cute and i got a lot of compliments from people saying they liked my costume.

i didn't drink too much at the party so i felt good the whole time. and i played a lot of beer pong! nathan and i won like 3 games, i played a game with a guy in a fairy costume and we won, and we lost when playing liz and this random guy at the party dressed up as the professor from power puff girls. he was carrying a bottle of chemical x which was just hennesy. barf

im glad we went tho. i was feeling a little stressed about the outfit and paying for the ubers there but it all worked out well.

i've also been hanging out with more school friends. i ate brunch with sophia and christina at town and country. but it was so healthy there. i wouldnt go back lol. i just got a latte bc it was a vegan restaurant. dont trick me with your fake chorizo!

i also went to the w basketball preseason scrimmage with sophia and saw a bunch of people there.

and my fav part was probs doing hot pot at home with nathan, mai, and jenn. i originally was just gonna hang with jenn and order in food. but nathan got a bunch of hot pot ingredients! so we all stood around our tall table bc we only have 2 chairs lol. and we did hot pot. it was really good! and it was fun chatting with mai and jenn. mai left earlier to get ready for a halloween party on campus. jenn and i were supposed to do some painting but we ended up just chatting instead. and later that night we saw jimmy o yang! it was a really good show. this night was probs the highlight of my halloween week and it wasn't even really halloween related. just fun times with friends and good food and a free date night with nathan.

ive been working on doing scholar rx and anki lately. i updated my add ons so it's more fun with killstreaks and a heat map for what days/how much i worked on anki. it's def motivating. im realizing that i remember things better when i write them out on my ipad. it takes longer but def helps it stick in my memory when i know the spelling of the word.

i think i've always done this but now it's more clear. but if i can see the spelling of the word in my head then i can remember and pronounce it better. it feels like im reading subtitles in my brain. and if i dont know how to spell a word, then it's really low odds that i'm gonna remember that word or pronounce it correctly. i find that it happens a lot with words in different languages or medical terms. if i only have an auditory intro to the word then it's easy for me to get the sounds of the word mixed up. but once i see the spelling and break down the word into easier chunks, then i can use that word more effectively and apply it. but the thing is that im an awful speller. im good at reading but not spelling. it used to drive mom and dad crazy bc i really loved reading and would do it a lot. but i couldnt spell for shit and was always making errors when i wrote myself. there's something about seeing the word in front of me vs in my head that makes it stick.

i feel like ive accomplished a lot of the goals that i set for myself lately and now i want to do more.

what im proud of accomplishing:

sewed my prom dress

went to prom and had fun

made my halloween costume

went to halloween party and had fun

lots of quality time with friends

finished scholar rx bricks for derm

working on anki consistently

read some books

attended some writing workshops for aya even tho i was uncomfy and didn't like feeling vulnerable. i cried.

attended the self love workshop

what i want to work towards:

work out - walking, playing basketball, anything really. ive been very stagnant and it takes a lot for me to get out of the house. once im out it's easy for me to continue being active. but if im already inside, then i wont make the effort to be active. but my step count in oct was lower than sept so i wanna keep staying active. GOAL: at least 5k steps 3 days a week.

care for dry skin - find solution for dry skin over top lip

wake up earlier, dont just stay up all night and sleep in all day

if nathan is home then seek alone time outside of the house

[jade-parcels]

The genshin men: fatherhood edition

With: Childe, Zhongli, Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao, Venti, Albedo and Baizhu

—————————

Childe:

Ajax loves kids and he’ll make that known early on in your relationship

Like...This man wants five or more kids but he’ll settle for four. He dreams of a big family, getting to surround himself with you and your kids every night for family dinners, everyone getting together for big birthday parties or reunions! That’s his dream life! Plus, in Snezhnaya, most families have more than two kids anyways

He will cry so hard when his babies are placed in his arms for the first time, I mean he’s a mess. Nose is running, eyes puffy, lost of sniffling lmao he is so excited to be a dad!! Don’t you dare tell the other Harbingers how much he cried...What do you mean you took a picture when he wasn’t looking??? Hey??!?!

With his obscene amount of mora, he’ll buy a huge house that will accommodate everyone. Anything you want will be purchased that day or within 48 hours, the same goes for the kids

But they’ll all learn to be thankful for what they have. They’ll learn to fight, fish and speak multiple languages. He has high expectations but let’s face it, he’ll be proud of them no matter what

You’re gonna have to be the one to put your foot down though because Ajax doesn’t enjoy being the ‘mean parent’, he has trouble saying no to the kiddos which can create some tension between you and your husband. He has good intentions of course!! He doesn’t wanna say no to those cute, freckled faces!!

Zhongli:

Zhongli is nervous about having kids because he’s immortal. So this will go one of two ways. 1. You have the baby and the baby ends up not being immortal (or you adopt a baby who is not immortal) Then he loses you both. OR 2. You have the baby and it inherits his immortality and becomes an adeptus. Now he and the baby will have to watch you die while they both life forever.

Either way...It hurts him to think about because he loves you!! He wants to have a family with you!! He wants to give you that perfect family life every human desires!! But he’s torn

You two will just have to figure it out.

Zhongli will be a strong, male figure for your kid(s) and he will instill that traditional kindness and respect into their behavior. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ always, always offer to help someone who needs it, do good deeds and you will feel accomplished, be the best you you can be, alway try your hardest because that’s all that matters

He will be sure that your kid(s) always feel loved ALWAYS. Zhongli will tell them stories, cook for them, take them to school, anything that needs to be done. When you’ve had a rough day, he’ll step in to take over for the night without being asked. He shows interest in everything your kid(s) like and he will do his damn best to display every piece of artwork they make or every pretty rock they find

He...will make a great dad :’)

Kaeya:

Ooooh brother, at first Kaeya says no he doesn’t want kids but...Then he starts thinking about it

He observes the happy families that walk around the cobblestone streets of Mondstadt, how the kiddos smile and laugh with their parents. He’ll patrol in the afternoons, usually rounding the corner just in time to see the city’s kids leave school for the day, watching as they all run down the street to go home to their parents or play in the fountain together...Yeah, that really warms his heart

He’d want one or two kids, preferably two to avoid an only child being lonely. He isn’t on the best terms with Diluc but he can admit that they had a great childhood together, playing at the winery and running around as brothers do

Kaeya would be a very patient, understanding father. He doesn’t have much of a temper so he’d use the kids’ mistakes as learning opportunities instead of getting upset at them

He would be obsessed with the kids when they’re babies though oh man if you thought you had baby fever, he has it times ten! He loves holding the baby, watching with a twinkling eye as his baby grasps his thumb with its tiny hand... adorable

And if your kids inherited his eyes, his star shaped pupils that his ancestors passed down to him...He’s gonna get emotional

Everyone at the knights’ headquarters and the Angel’s Share will get sick of him REALLY fast cause he won’t stop bragging about how cute and smart his kids are lmao

Diluc:

Diluc would be such a soft dad don’t even get me started

He loves you so much of course he wants to have kids with you! Is that even a question?? He won’t be the one to bring it up unless he gets the feeling that you want kids but once you ask, he’ll agree so fast

He’ll be grateful to even have one kid with you :’) and he’ll be fine with however many kids YOU want. You want one kid? Perfect! You want four? No problem, the manor is big enough for ten! You...you want ten...? Time to hire some more maids then lmao

Diluc is a worry wart though, he’ll be afraid to hold the baby, feed it, bathe it, he’s terrified of hurting the baby or the baby suddenly hating him. So just help him out!! Cause when he gets comfortable with the baby, he’ll be in full dad mode

He isn’t embarrassed to walk around the manor, conducting business with a baby strapped to his chest!

Diluc is a very kind, gentle dad who will always offer helpful solutions to the kiddos’ problems. He’ll make sure all of their needs are met while also trying to avoid spoiling them... Too much... There will be a fair amount of spoiling...

His own father wasn’t too affectionate with him so that’s why he’ll be affectionate with his kids! Hugs and kisses when he tucks them in at night, big dad hugs when they get home from school, holding their hands in the busy streets of Mondstadt. His father was a great dad! He just aims to be better.

Xiao:

Like Zhongli, he worries about the mortality thing. Since he’s an Adeptus, his kid will certainly be an Adeptus too if you have kids together.

He also worries that his kid(s) will hate him. His duty is to kill demons which means that rain or shine, holidays, special occasions, day or night he’s gotta be ready to go slaughter demonic beings. So he’ll inevitably miss out on important stages in the kiddos’ lives

And admittedly... He’ll be scared of his kids lmao

They’re screaming, crying, barfing, pooping, laughing, screaming again...He can’t predict their behavior. It’s unsettling. All of that goes away one night when you sit him down and place your sleeping baby in his arms. His eyes go wide...And he just watches. This tiny, little baby...Feels no fear for him. It’s comforted by his presence. He almost cries...ALMOST

He’s still pretty much the same Xiao we all know and love but now he has a kid. “Slaying demons is what I do...Hey, go back inside and finish your dinner. Yes, even your vegetables. I don’t care that you don’t like them-...Fine. Don’t tell your mother, bring them to me. I’ll eat them” cute :)

He’s a protective dad and husband, he’d never let anyone or anything harm his beloved family

Venti:

Venti....does not want kids. He thinks they’re cute! He likes the idea of kids but he knows he wouldn’t enjoy actually having kids

You two already have so much fun together!! You don’t need a kid!! You guys have dogs!! Dogs are like kids! But they’re more independent and they’re cuter!

He’ll feel bad if you want kids and he doesn’t, he really will! But it’ll be nearly impossible to convince him cause he’s made his mind up :/

Venti’ll make it up to you somehow though, he’ll take you out more and show you all of the adventures you guys can have if there aren’t kids around

But for the sake of fatherhood headcanons, let’s pretend he gave in. Venti would be a very caring dad. He would cuddle the hell out of this kiddo and sing to them :’) the only problem is that Venti doesn’t like being tethered to one place for too long so he tends to take off and not come back for a few days... :(

Albedo:

Albedo wants kids mostly just to see what fatherhood would be like. He’s always been curious about what that part of his life would be like so why not have a kid

He’d be good with one kid, two at most cause after practically raising Klee, he knows how some kids can be and...He doesn’t have the mental capacity for more than two kids at a time lmao

He tries his best to show more emotion in his face. We all know he usually sits like this 😐 and goes ‘wow im so happy right now’. If you didn’t know him, you’d think he was bored out of his mind right? So he’s gotta work on that. And when he musters up a smile for the baby and it smiles back at him????? Yeah...He’s gonna try to smile a lot more now

He definitely softens up once he becomes a dad, he shows emotion more than he used to and surprisingly, he takes time off of work. Shocker, I know! He decides that he’s been in the lab long enough and that he wants to be able to be there for these moments with you and his kid(s) :’) :’) He trusts Sucrose and Timaeus to take over for him for a couple hours

He keeps a journal for each kid and writes down the date and time they have their firsts or just interesting things they do ->

- 8/4: Baby sees and plays with a cat for the first time

- 9/5: Baby smacked me in the face and laughed so hard she threw up

-9/12: Baby learns that pulling my hair gets my attention. She now continues to do so

-10/15: Baby stays at Aunt Klee’s house for the first time

Baizhu:

Baizhu really loves kids, he works with them a lot and he considers Qiqi to be his daughter anyway but in terms of you guys having a kid together, with his condition he can probably only handle one kid running around

He will do his absolute best to be a good dad. Even if he feels like death, he’ll help change diapers, feed the baby, care for it when you need a break. He isn’t contagious so when you’re sleeping and he feels gross, he’ll sit back against the pillows with the baby on his chest, the three of you resting together (though he doesn’t fall asleep...that would be dangerous for the baby)

Baizhu already tends to nag at you about your health and lifestyle choices but now?? He’ll be a menace. He’ll be constantly evaluating your baby’s condition, checking to see if a certain food is giving them a rash or making sure their skin isn’t drying out. He’s hyper aware of your baby’s health and will be the one to treat them if they get sick

He’s a busy guy since he runs the pharmacy but he will always do his best to be present for your baby’s big milestones! And when your kid cries cause Baizhu’s medicine tastes like shit, he’ll do his best to not be disappointed in their reaction lmao

When you leave him alone with the baby, he’ll wrap a scarf around himself to tie the baby to his chest while he works and...he looks so cute :) dad baizhu <3 <3 <3 <3

Bonus points for him buying the baby toy medical equipment so he can get your kiddo interested in medicine :)

[pleasereadmeok]

This ‘Wonderland’ Interview to promote A Single Man is a gem.  Matthew Goode is a bit of a handful and swears his way through this interview with his mate Nic Hoult.  It’s very funny.  It’s often quoted (including his description of Colin Firth’s kissing technique!) but it’s difficult to find a clean scan of the whole interview.  This scan (from Natalie/ Fairchilds on ohnotheydidnt) isn’t very clear to read so I did a transcript several years ago - here:-

Wonderland Interview

Based on the 1964 novel by Christopher Isherwood, A Single Man marks the screenwriting and directing debut of fashion icon, Tom Ford.  Having debuted earlier this year at the Venice Film Festival to a standing ovation, the film has continued to impress audiences during screening at the Toronto and London Film Festivals.

Joining lead actor, Colin Firth, on screen are fellow Brits Matthew Goode and Nicholas Hoult who discuss the film, Tom Ford and being British in LA.

ON A SINGLE MAN

Nicholas Hoult: The only time I saw Matthew was when we were getting our spray tans.

Matthew Goode: Which were more regular than we were expecting.  I got on a plane with Colin [Firth] and then literally the moment we arrived, got in the car together, went to the hotel and suddenly – it’s like ten thirty at night – we have to go to Colin’s room where we’re having our spray tans .  Colin Firth is in his pants, I’m in my pants and it stays that way for an hour whilst we wait for this stuff to set.  He’s fucking great.  I love Colin.

We [Nic’ and he] never had a scene together but we were there the whole time.  I was only really fitting in around these guys.  Nic had a damn sight more to do than I did.

NH: No I just did more.

MG: [Laughs] It was a really fun shoot. I mean, maybe I’m looking back with rose tinted spectacles, but …

NH: It was a good fun shoot. Everyone enjoyed it.  I remember the night in Venice after seeing it in front of all those people and just lying in bed thinking ‘that’s something I’m proud of’.

MG: It’s seriously impressive. You watch it and you care and, it doesn’t happen to me a lot, but I watched it and thought ‘I’m in something that doesn’t stink!’.  I’m proud of that.

NH:  That’s a nice feeling when you’ve done something and you can say ‘yeah, proud of that’.

MG:  Fucking hell – sorry to interrupt – but I was reading a magazine or a paper or something the other day and it said “A Single Man obviously being screened and whenever Nic Hoult was on screen there were gasps over his beauty” [laughs]. And I was thinking, fucking Hoult is going to LA and get so laid! [Laughs]. He is going to be turning bush away left right and centre!

NH:  It’s all down to the fake tan again.  That’s where the performance stems for me.

MG:  That is a review!

NH:  Nothing about the acting, right?

MG:  They didn’t review the film.  It just said “I saw it.  I’m going to be reviewing it at some point, but let me tell you there were gasps over Nick Hoult’s beauty!”

ON TOM FORD

MG:  Tom is immediately interesting. If it’s all about someone’s cannon of work then most of the time you wouldn’t work with a first ime director, but if the script is good and you have a chat with them and they know which end is up and which is down, then great.

NH: I didn’t know who Tom was when I met him.

MG: Nick “fashion forward” Hoult!

NH:  I’d gone over to LA got off a plane and had dinner with him.  And I asked him how he’d got into directing and why he was doing this!

MG:  I love that.  Isn’t that great?  And that’s also like Tom.  He’s not the sort of person who is like, ‘well fuck you!’.

NH: He explained very humbly what he had done and I thought OK.  And then I looked him up after dinner and was ‘oh jesus!  He’s actually accomplished quite a lot’ so probably quite a stupid question, but he was very honest and modest and made a great director.

MG: It’s so good.  And so good for Colin.  And Julianne [Moore] is bloody great in it as well.  But the real star of it, it has to be said, is Tom. It silences immediately the people who were going ‘you self indulgent cunt.’  It’s like two massive fingers up to them as it is very, very accomplished.

NH:  It’s very personal to him as well.

MG:  Hugely personal as the main story sort of mirror images the relationship between him and Richard.  There’s a similar age gap.

NH:  He would always say my character is him when he was 18.  He’s connected to every character and he knows them.

MG:  And he wrote the screenplay and it’s starkly different from the book.

NH:  Matthew’s read the book, so –

MG:  That’s right!  I have. It is different.  I am always about the script, really.  But one of the really nice things about being involved is that it is a love poem to Tom’s partner, Richard.

NH:  Tom is very good in the sense that he is an actor’s director and knows what he wants you to do but is very giving to let you go off and explore things and try stuff out.  And you don’t feel too much pressure of failure.

MG:  That’s very true.

NH: ‘Cause the second you’re on set – especially when there’s only 20 days to shoot – to not feel the pressure, that’s a good atmosphere he created.  Something his assistant was saying the other day was that he’s very good at holding his hands up and would admit when he wasn’t sure what he was doing and kept everyone on side and made it a really great team effort.

MG:   I love it when someone’s like that.  It’s so far away from self indulgent as well when someone’s shooting into the 19th hour of the day and the ship isn’t sinking, but there’s a leak and it’s far better to say we do have a leak and I’m trying to sort it out rather than leaning on one side and saying everything is fine.  He is fucking great.

ON COLIN FIRTH

MG:  Colin was great.  I knew he was going to be good.  The moment I read the script, I was like, ‘this is something you haven’t done in a long time’ – just something he could really get his teeth into.   He’s such a subtle actor and it’s been a long time since I can remember him having something that central and serious.

NH:  It was a great moment when we went to the Venice Film Festival and got the message Colin was winning the best actor award.

MG:  I know.  The previous evening we had sat there and we knew it had gone down well because there was a NINE minute standing ovation.  And particularly when you’re not in the film as much as I am, then I feel like a fucking charlatan.  I stood there and am looking down and smiling and embarrassed.  Colin’s quite emotional and I tell you what – four minutes of a standing ovation gets a bit uncomfortable, but NINE?  ‘OK, Colin… fucking move. Let’s go. Let’s leave.’ And he couldn’t tell us that he had won and so he was being shy about it.

NH:  Yeah, he kept it very quiet.

MG:  The moment we found out and we were on the boat we were like ‘What the fuck?  You’ve won and you didn’t tell us!?  And he was like ‘ I know, I didn’t wanna.’  He was humble.

NH:  It was great.  It was a bit of an odd first day like you had in the sense that I had to strip off in front of Colin on my first day.  It sounds a bit seedy when I say ‘strip off in front of him’.

MG:  It does!

NH:  It’s part of the film, I swear!  And it’s handled a lot more tastefully that that might seem, but yeah it was a bit of an odd first day.

MG:  Everyone is going to say ‘oh it’s a gay movie’ which we then counteract with ‘no it’s not, it’s a film about love.’  But there is nudity and a bit of man kissing.  Frankly Colin kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row, but it was a real pleasure!

NH:  He’s got a lot of love!

ON JULIANNE MOORE

MG:  She’s a fucking hero.  She’s lovely. I didn’t have any scenes with her. I mean I’m only in flashback, so all my stuff was with Colin.

NH:  All my stuff is with Colin as well.   The first time I met Julianne was in Venice.

MG:  Yeah, she was probably in the middle of juggling six projects or something, you know, she never stops working.  She came in and shot two scenes, which were about 20 odd minutes of the film, and they did that in two evenings so she was in and out.  I never got a chance to meet her until I was at some party in LA and she is just fantastic.  And she’s married to a guy called Bart Freadlich who is a director in his own right.

NH:  He’s a hero.

MG:  He is actually fabulous!  My girlfriend spent the whole evening calling him Bert instead of Bart and he was like ‘you know, actually I prefer Bert!  Don’t worry about it’.  He’s lovely. They could throw their weight around, but they are actually family people and live in New York – they’re kind of anti Hollywood.

ON THE LIFE OF AN ACTOR

MG: There are a lot of Brits and Aussies at the moment who are working.  I don’t know what that means.  But we never think of ourselves.  When you get off the plane and you’re in America they ask ‘what’s the best thing about being a movie star?’ I am a jobbing actor, they have no idea! They make it sound like I get 500 scripts and am sitting there going through them all. If something comes up and they are stupid enough to give it to us or you love the script and audition but someone of a huge stature can come in and take it like Brad Pitt. Or Judi [Dench] – we’ve been up against each other a couple of times.

NH: I’ve never lost out to Judi yet.

MG: Only in a drinking contest! The vicious alcoholic that she is!

NH: Sam Worthington was telling me when he was in LA someone asked him why there were so many Aussies over there doing so well and his response was that it’s an awful long way to go to fail and not give it your best shot, basically.

MG: Oh. I was expecting some sort of knob gag in there, but yeah.

NH: It’s very true. I just got back from LA and every TV series has an English guy in the lead. Joseph Fiennes, Matthew Reece [RHYS]

MG: We’re good. We’re quite good…

N H: I can’t say it’s the training, because I don’t have any.

MG: You’re doing well! You make people gasp! You complete cunt. I hate that!

NH: You’re coming across very eloquent.

MG: That’s very nice of you.  OK, who used to live with Ewan McGregor and Jude Law and he has a TV show? You’re right about that. Though it makes it sound like ‘Oh you’re English.  Have a TV show’.  I’m sure they all have about ten auditions.

NH: I had an interesting day recently when I was at a BBQ and Jimmy Page and Roger Daltrey were there.

MG: Wow!

NH: I sat there and was very quiet because I thought if I speak to them I’ll make a fool of myself so it’s best to keep out of the way and then they can’t have any bad thoughts although they probably didn’t know I was there.  But I knew they were there so it was a good BBQ for me.

MG: I’d love to learn guitar. It’s one of those things I’d love to do. Though it’s not like I don’t have the time…

NH: [Laughs]

MG: I’d like to know all the chords.

NH: It’s difficult to get the fingering right… That’s what she said.

MG: And back to Dame Judi!

NH: [Laughs]

MG: It depends if you have a high action or a low action in terms of the strings.  It hurts. You’ve got to build up the calluses. If you get a low action one that would be easier.

NH:  Are we still talking about women?

MG:  Yes! [Laughs] I remember Billy Crudup got the part in Almost Famous and he had lessons with Peter Frampton but had to have lessons on the side because Peter was like ‘you are fucking terrible’. But that’s one of the nice accidents of the job is you can get training in things. And random travel.

NH: I got to do archery.

MG: You did! That was The Weatherman!

NH: No, for Clash of the Titans. I didn’t use it once.

MG: Oh yes, it was the daughter in The Weatherman.

NH: Yeah man, keep up.

MG: Sorry mate. That’s how pretty you are. I confused you with the female lead.

NH: He’s seen all my work.

MG: I have! I’ve got to learn how to do it. You are a master.  I did a Spanish film and it was all in Spanish [!] – I learnt it phonetically. Jesus, that’s my only skill.  The major skill I picked up is I can pay my rent. The older you get the more you realize there are a lot of people who hate their jobs.  I’m so glad I’m not – ha!  Famous last words! – it does seem to be going OK for now.  But bringing it back to what do you like about acting – to be honest, everything.

ON BRITISH TALENT

MG:  I think there is an element that we’re just so happy to work.  Certainly as for getting into film it was such an accident because I hadn’t worked in front of a camera.  For a while it was like what is the secret code to working on screen?  I have no idea what it is… but even ten films in I’m still sitting here renting and not owning a house.  I think that keeps you grounded.  As opposed to some American actors who are on a hundred thousand dollars doing some TV.

NH:  You don’t get comfortable so you feel you’ve got to keep on striving.

MG: I think we’re overrated. [Laughs].  There is an element over there if you walk into a room of Americans that they’re suddenly like ‘oh fuck they’re British and we’re steeped in tradition.

NH:  It’s odd that Tom got so many English actors for the film – we’re both playing American.

MG:  And Julianne is playing English.

NH:  it’s good he trusts in us to pull of the American accents.

MG:  Yeah, I mean – idiot!  In fairness you’ve done it before and I have done it a couple of times.  But it is odd.   If you think who he probably could have had –

NH:  He probably could have done better than us!

MG:  I’m sure he could have convinced someone with a much higher stature.  I think it was just we were willing to work for free, effectively.  And that’s also what makes Britain great.  We want to work and we want to please the director and often at times, yes we might have strong thoughts on character and script, but we turn up and are like, this is your vision and you are the director and we know where we fit in. Certainly the Brits, I find, we want to be told what to do or how it’s going to work rather than, ‘I’m the fucking star!’ I tend to find we leave our ego at the door. We tend not to pussyfoot around. We all like a drink. We’re steeped in that tradition as well. There’s a certain forbidden thing in America if you drink you’re an alcoholic. No I’m not, and I generally wait until at least half past one.

NH: On weekends. Weekdays, 11.

MG: There is a reason pubs are opened at 11 and it’s because you are allowed to start drinking at that time. Otherwise, they wouldn’t do it! Christ, can you remember back to when – you might not remember, actually. I gasp at your beauty as I try to remember!

NH:[laughs] I’m never going to live this down!

MG:Do you remember when pubs shut on Sundays at, like, 1 for two or three hours? Maybe I’m showing my age now. That is fucking madness. There would be a riot now.

NH:  So basically, we haven’t found a conclusion to what makes Britain great…  You’re a big X Factor fan though, aren’t you?

MG:  My girlfriend loves it.  She’s got me into it.  I mean it’s fucking hilarious.  You literally sit there and you don’t know any of these people but the music comes up and they get selected and you can be in tears and so happy that these people have been selected for the live shows.  I really like the over 25’s this year.  They’re fucking great.

NH:  Matthew Goode on The X Factor!

MG:  ‘He’s very much into the over 25s and what is funny is they are all male’.  But it is great.  But then it’s such a machine.  There is such a turn around.  Sometimes the winner gets completely forgotten and they have no career and then, obviously, sometimes they go shooting up.  But it is great telly!  Saturday night, a couple of beers and The X Factor.

[Pics - My edit of Ben Rayner photos/scan by Natalie Fairchild.] 

[lost-in-sokovia]

Hey, it’s me again! This might be a long one so settle in:

Firstly I wanted to do an apology of sorts for even sending you that ask yesterday to begin with, I try to come onto your blog and ask you positive questions that brighten your day but yesterday I came straight in with my own mental health issues without even considering that you might also be going through that at the time. So yeah I’m so sorry for just springing that on you!

Secondly: Thank you. Your response yesterday made me cry multiple times, please know that this small connection we’ve made through a dozen or so asks means the world to me, and that you took time out of your day to write such helpful and beautiful advice when we don’t know each other that well is a true testament to what a lovely caring person you are!

After reading your advice I followed it- I did a bunch of self care and then sat down with a tv show I’ve been wanting to start, and I even had the courage to message my best friend and let her know all about how I’ve been feeling. And that talking made the world of difference in how I felt then and how I’m feeling now.

For today’s question I want to simply ask how you’re doing today? Do you have any fun plans? Anything you need to get done that you’ve been putting off by scrolling through Tumblr? I’d like to hear about you!

Once again, Thank you so much for your time and energy and wisdom that you’ve shared with me, I think I’d be much worse off without this little pocket of friendship ❤️

-🎉

hey party rocker, let’s talk, hm? :)

it’s perfectly okay. i think the universe aligned somehow when you sent that to me because mentally i was doing perfectly fine. like i was having a good morning and was ready to help you, so it’s all good. even if i hadn’t mentally quite in the best place, let’s say, it’s not like you trauma-dumped on me or told me something really scary; you were just being honest and asking for honest help. no matter how im feeling, im always willing to lend a hand in helping another friend through some darkness. so while i appreciate your apology and consideration, i’ve got your back. i appreciated your honesty, i don’t need you to show up here with positivity when you don’t feel it. i want to be here for you just as much as you are for me, and i felt like i had a chance to help you yesterday. it’s perfectly alright, please let me continue to help you when you need it💕

oh god, this warms my heart. im so glad my advice was useful, i was worried it was going to sound stupid😅 even though we don’t know each other that well doesn’t mean i don’t value our friendship. you’re genuinely so sweet, i thank thank thank you 🥺💘

words cannot describe how immensely happy i am that you were able to put my advice to use and it have a positive outcome for you. it sounds stupid, but like i swear it’s hard to feel sad when your skin is so smooth and everything smells so good😂 and taking the time to be nice to yourself feels so accomplishing in its own. im also so proud of you for reaching out to your friend. i know how intimidating that can be, no matter how close you are. that was a huge step and i just gushing with excitement for you💖

to answer your question!! im currently babysitting, but when i get home i want to clean/organize my room a little bit, and i want to make brownies or cookies because the period cravings are no joke, sis. tumblr is both my savior and my enemy so like you phrased putting crap off by scrolling through tumblr perfectly😭 i don’t have any fun plans, i don’t even know how im supposed to get lunch (it’s a long story) and im also VERY tired. mentally, im kinda neutral today so for right now im fine until these boys wear me down🥲

I LOVE YOU, DEAR FRIEND!! keep being you☺️💖💘💕🤍🧸

[kareniliana]

Marcel: Crazy Ex Drama

A//N: Hey people! I’ve come up with a schedule. I will write as much as I can over the week. In between class work or classes and tutor sessions. Then edit and post them on the weekends. Imma try this week to do that. And we’ll go from there.

If y'all want to request anything, my inbox is open.

Oh I almost forgot, this one shot mentions abusive relations with drug using and cheating. I am in no way trying to romanticize abuse or anything. I just started writing and this came out. I do apologize if I insult anyone, please call me out on it. And I will correct it or take it down. I truly mean no harm here.

xx Karebear 💛🧸

You were visiting New Orleans for a girls trip with two of your best friends, Eva and Lucy. You went college with them, lived with them when you first graduated and now you live hours away from each other. Not seeing each other often put a strain on your friendship so you came up with the brilliant idea that you would visit New Orleans for a girls trip. It’s perfect, you’ll drink your liver away.

The first two nights visiting were a blur, you weren’t sure which bars you were at and which you hadn’t visited yet. But for the third day, you were going to keep it low-key but fun.

At lunch, you and your friends sat at a bar talking to a nice blonde bartender. She informed you she had a psych degree and your friends didn’t stop bothering her until y'all left. But she enjoyed the company and psychoanalyzing. You however was busy making eyes with a beautiful chocolate man across the restaurant. His smile caught your eyes, it was genuine and brightening. 

Finally she turned to look at you, “what about you? Any guy problems?”

“Oh does she ever, she just got out of a very abusive relationship.” Your drunk friend started, earning a deep sigh from you. 

“He cheated, lied, did drugs, verbally abuse me and sometimes he would hit me. I left him, filed a restraining order- I got out.” You shrugged your shoulders, not wanting to talk about it any longer.

You stuck around to drink and chill, the vibe in this bar was immaculate. You had forced yourself, to stop looking for the man. Wanting him to come to your, which he did. He placed his hand on the seat next to yours.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked, his deep voice made you want to melt.

“No, go for it.” You smiled, he pulled the seat out sitting with you.

“Cami, can I get another and,” He looked to you, “Anything she wants.”

 You caught his gaze, holding eye contact. “Uh, I'll have what he's having.”

“Alright, two bourbons.” She grabs another glass and serves you the liquid. Your friends and cami seeing what’s happening.

“I’m Marcel.” He handed his hand out for you to shake, you smiled gently placing your hand in his.

“Y/n, it’s nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine, and on behalf of my beautiful city, welcome to New Orleans. I am more than happy to show you around. Say tonight, at 7. I can meet you or pick you up, whatever you choose.” He was smooth.

Cami placed the cups down in front of you both,“You can pick me up at the Hotel just down the street.” You pointed down the road to your hotel, the only hotel within a mile radius.

“Alright.” He smiled brightly, his smile making you almost giggle like a school girl.

He lifted his drink, signally for you to follow suit. He raised his glass, waiting for you. You clashed your drinks together, taking a sip.

“Tell me, why New Orleans?”Marcel asked as you both set the drinks down.

“Oh well, I hadn’t seen my best friends, Eva and Lucy,” You motioned to the girls,”In maybe 8 months. We had spent nearly five years living together.”

Eva leaned over, “Now we’re all hours away from each other, we don’t get much time to visit.”

“It’s mandatory for us to go on a girls trip at least every month.” You added, taking another sip, knowing Lucy will butt in next. Marcel just watching the vibe between you three, he thought it looked like the human way of a family. Which you were, Eva and Lucy are your family.

“But someone” Lucy points to you behind your head, “got into a - Okay! I think that’s enough from you two.” You interrupted her, you were okay talking to women about your abusive relationship, but when it came to telling men- let alone someone you just met and are interested in- you weren’t comfortable yet. And you didn’t want your friend to unload that kind of baggage. 

However, Marcel already knows. You have no knowledge of the supernaturals in the world, you didn’t know that Marcel already heard you talk about it. He heard your heartbeat rise when Lucy began to talk about it. You were nervous, which he understood. And he couldn’t help but want you more. He wanted to protect you.

“Okay fine, we’ll just see you back at the hotel later. We’re gonna go find something to do.” Eva gathered herself and Lucy, who seemed to be pretty drunk already. 

Saying their goodbyes and your focus was back to the present.

Marcel placed his hand on yours, You looked to him. “Whatever Lucy was going on about, I don’t want you to worry about it. Whatever it is, you can tell me or not. I understand.” 

You smiled, you could see it in his face. You knew he knew.“Thank you, but something tells me you already know?”

He sighed, “I’m only guessing it wasn’t something good.”

“He was abusive, a cheater, and an addict. I thought I could change him, help him. He was good, until he wasn’t. But I did all the steps. I documented, went to friends and police. I got a restraining order, I moved, got a new job, a place all by myself. I’m doing better now, that’s what is important.” You explained, feeling accomplished and grateful you were able to get out. 

You were proud of yourself and made progress moving on from everything.

Behind you, in a corner, a vampire calls Marcel away. Marcel signally to give him a minute.

“I’m proud of you, Y/n. Thats good! How about another drink?” You nodded, as he signaled for Cami.

“I’m sorry but will you excuse me for a second, I’m just gonna go to the bathroom for a quick second. Don’t go anywhere just yet, okay?” He asked, getting up his seat.

“Oh yeah no, go for it.” You smiled and his hand brushed your shoulder.

Cami comes back with your refill, “Im sorry I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I’m really happy you’re in a good place right now.”

“Oh no it’s okay, you basically already knew. Minor details. Thank you.”

“Y’know Marcel is a really great guy,” She began to make a drink for someone across the bar. “He looks out for the tourists and locals, keeps them safe.”

“So this city, is his or?” Cami laughs, if only you knew.

“He’s very influential here, stick with him. You’ll be safe.” Cami walks off, serving the drink she just made.

You look at the menu for desserts, sipping your bourbon. Then Marcel comes back, sitting down without a word.

“Is the pie any good Marcel-” You turn to look to Marcel but see Jason instead. Instantly you sprung up to your feet, pushing your stool back. Jason reached out for your arm, squeezing it harder than he thought he would.

The sound of the stool being pushed caught Cami’s attention, watching from the end of the bar. Seeing the disgust for him on your face, your body language stiff but grounded and unwavering.

Just as she was about to go to you, Marcel walked back in from the back. Vampire drama dealt with. “Cami, what’s up?”

“I think that's her ex.” Cami’s eyes never leaving you.

Jason grabbed you, keeping you there.”Wait, please just hear me out.”

You looked at his hand squeezing you, it began to hurt. “Let. Me. Go.” Looking back up at him, his eyes red teary. He was high.

He scoffed, “No, just hear me out.”

“I have a restraining order dude! Let me go!” You raised your voice, catching Marcels attention. Swiftly he walked to you two.

“I do believe she told you to let her go.” Marcel intervened, one hand placed gently on your back.

“This doesn’t concern you!” He belted at Marcel, digging his fingers deeper. you helped in pain. Marcel took a hold of Jasons hand, squeezing it with his vampire strength. Jasons claws unlatched from you, it will definitely bruise.

“I called the cops, Marcel.” Cami came to you with an ice pack.

Marcel then tried to escort Jason outside but Jason began to fight back. Falling back and into other people on the way out. When finally Marcel sucker punched him, knocking hims unconscious.

After the police took my statement and pictures of the already bruised arm, they arrested him and took him to county jail.

Marcel sits in the seat the officer was in, placing two cups of bourbon. “I called your friends, they should be here any minute. I’m so sorry that happened. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m good. Thank you. Really.” You smiled, chuckling after a moment of silence. “We just met and we had a crazy ex boyfriend situation before our first date!”

Marcel laughed with you. He smiled at you brightly, somehow making you smile just as big. You reach for his hand, holding it.

“I still expect yo take you out, no crazy ex drama will get in the way of our date.” Marcel said, earning a laugh from you.

~~

Again I mean no harm with this imagine.

[sachiwrites]

some friends to lovers hcs for sakusa pls? i've been thirsting over him for a while and seeing him in the recent manga chapters plus season 4 is just--

same fam, same. its been a whole mess over here. yikes this got long

— you are 210% that neighbor who his parents rely on to acclimate their son into being a somewhat decent member of society. is it a hardy task for someone at the age of six? yeah. was sakusa an absolute shit at that age too? of course. but he stopped that one kid from pulling your hair in class that day so he’s basically your unofficial hero. even if it was only because apparently you had ‘cooties’.

— naturally you continued to have this unknown disease for most of your life. but apparently so did everyone else in Japan. except when you got older it simply became known as- physical contact.

— “kiyoomi, why don’t you play outside with your friend?”

—“ they’re dirty.”

— sticks and stone may break your bones but the mud streaked across your face and hands would most certainly kill sakusa. or at least that’s what you thought at the age of seven when you went grab him off his front porch anyway. he sort of whined and pushed you for it, causing you to fall back on your rear, much to his parents obvious disdain. or as so you gathered as you smirked over their shoulder as they carried you inside, earning an extra few years of sakusa’s ire.

— “yoomi, lets play tag.”

— “it’s kiyoomi. and no, play by yourself.”

— “sakusa-san, yoomi doesn’t want to-“

— “run”

— the two of you were ‘reluctant’ friends until the age of eight. more or less, sakusa was required to spend at least half an hour outside with you a daily. half way through that the tenture you had mercy on him and introduced him to video games within the safety of his own home. sakusa has zero interest in crash bandicoot, but he likes you a little more for your concede.

— but his parents knew what they were doing when they put their son’s social reputation into your hands. for a while you were his only friend but occasionally you were able to integrate him into society. through little things like sitting down your lunch next to his and offering to be his partner in project.

— “i don’t need your help with this.”

— “maybe, but i need yours, so pretty please.”

— sakusa was a young genius and it would benefit you to take advantage of that feature. call it payment for all your years of servitude.

— the only time you found yourself not needing to be a crutch in his life was when he was playing volleyball. it was an option during recess to give the students an opportunity to scout out interests in athletic ventures. the sport was almost too perfect for sakusa- as an indoor requirement with almost no physical contact. it was his niche. a part of society that catered to his needs in a way that didn’t require your intervention.

— naturally, others began taking notice of his talents. other students were more likely to invite him for games during breaks- most knowing to keep their distance and touch to a limit. his own enjoyment of the sport slowly geared him towards pseudo-friendships that allowed him to play more and garner his skill set.

— “im going to try out for the volleyball club.”

— of course you knew this much. it was what he was so obviously looking forward to the most in junior high. it was just his decision to share his own thought with you the struck home.

— “yeah? i guess i should get some cheers ready for you games, eh?”

— he flinches away from your enthusiasm, his face portraying a mistake in letting you know so soon. but not once did he ever deter you from coming. in fact, you continued to be made aware of each an every upcoming match regardless of importance.

— “we have a practice match against haizen today.”

— wasn’t the most significant but he invited you so you’d be there. probably more vocal than you needed to be but he could mark your attendance and that’s all that mattered.

— a small part of you was worried that volleyball would take your place. it obviously had more suitable attributes than you. but it almost became a staple in your evolving relationship.

— in fact the first game you missed inflicted the first real argument you could remember having with sakusa. it surprised even his parents when you met him the next day to walk to class. you were use to a quiet shoulder but not a cold shoulder.

— “is something wrong?”

— it continued for most of the trip until you couldn’t take it anymore and reached for his arm. instead of shaking you off, he turns on you, gaze lit a flame with an emotion you didn’t recognize.

— “i had a game and you didn’t show up.”

— thinking back you did recall most of the students congregating towards the gym after class. it vaguely registered but you’d seen less of sakusa that day and more of pressing from your teacher to get your grades in order.

— “i had to stay back with my instructor. i needed help with my studies.”

— it was a little embarrassing- not something you wanted to admit. especially to someone like sakusa who obviously excelled where you fell short.

— “you’re an idiot. you come to me for that. ill help you after my games.”

— perphas it was in that moment that you should have realized that sakusa was more cognitive of his reliance than you were.

— what he does realize it how much he’s going to have to help you if he intended for you to join him at itachiyama. the school had shown interest in him earlier than year and it was mutual. but it’s prestige called for academics when sports weren’t your strong suit.

— matches weren’t the only appointments sakusa held you to. nearly everyday after class, whether your place or his, he made himself present while you studied. he wasn’t an overbearing tutor but he called you out in your faults and made you aware of mistakes before they became a habit. he wasn’t going to make you a super genius but you would become a student worthy of acceptance.

— the two of you were building something that only your parents noticed at first while watching from the doorway. itachiyama would be a dynamic chapter for both of you.

— the title of that chapter is: volleyball. because wow does that become an even bigger part of your life. itachiyama was already a powerhouse before sakusa but now he’s a cog in the wheel and an important one at that. quickly climbing ranks and becoming an imperative part of the team. if only he was more receptive to his newly popular status.

— he was still the same old germaphobe- avoiding crowds and wanting to get home as soon as possible to shower in his own tub instead of the school issued ones.

— his personality sort of highlighted your presence more than you expected. but given sakusa’s overall avoidance of unnecessary interactions, it shouldn’t have been much of a surprise.

— “he can be a bit much, but please take care of him.”

— above your bowed head, his older teammate coo and awe at sakusa’s cute little friend. this of course leads to more teasing for him but it’s all part of being part of a team- a larger whole. something you were willing to give up a bit of sakusa for.

— “are you two dating or something?”

— oh but that. you get a lot of that. not just by his teammates either. everyone seems to notice how sakusa tolerates you more than anyone else. though part of you wants to point out to his fan base that they would get a lot further if they just gave him his space. -yet here you were huddled up close in the library while he looked over your school work, so what could you say to that?

— “are you paying attention?”

— “hey, i got most of these right. give me a break.”

— not thinking about it, you go to ruffle his hair as a retort. an action sure to give you his ire- but it doesn’t? in fact his gaze doesn’t even lift from his book. and is he leaning closer? weird.

— sakusa is making rapid progress not only within tokyo but on a national level. it’s one of his teammates that points out his accomplishments to you one day while you’re waiting for sakusa to emerge from the locker rooms.

— “your boyfriend is really something else. already the ace of the team and he’s climbing the stats nationally too. you must be proud.”

— you are proud. very impressed, in fact. but sakusa is not your boyfriend. an important note that you most certainly do not get to point out because now sakusa is here and is corralling you towards the exit from his pressure of his chest against your back.

— he’s much more hands on now. less in tolerating your touch and more so initiating his own. it’s a late realization but most of your attention is stuck on that same teammate who is waving mischievously from the door.

— but oh man. it’s becoming a lot more obvious to you now when sakusa offers to hold you books while you change your shoes, and holding on to them even as you travel to class. he sits a little bit closer to you during study hall now, the erratic hitter of your knee brushing against his with every jerk up.

— “...are you okay, ‘yoomi?”

— he doesn’t complain about the name. not even a pinch of his brow, just confusion as he peers down at you.

— “im fine.”

— huh

— it’s all fun and games until his fingers catch yours one day while you walk side by side. it seemed like a fluke, just an accidental swing and bump. but then they’re latching and now you’re connected?

— “yoomi?”

— “it’s cold”

— yeah. okay, fair enough.

— periodic becomes occasional and now it’s a habit.

— and of course everyone takes notice. because sure sakusa tolerates you more than most. but now there’s a basis for it.

— “ah, so tables have turned.”

— “i knew it.”

— “top in the nation and already dating. our little kohai is such a pillar.”

— you’re beyond overwhelmed. worse because kiyoomi looks mildly irritated but doesn’t seem to be denying any of it.

— and you just have to ask.

— “yoomi are we dating?”

— because wow, only yesterday it seemed like he was still just your best friend. one who held your hand, shared his lunch, fell asleep on your shoulder in more than one occasion-

“— “we’re together. we’ve always been.”

— okay, yeah but context here.

— but then he’s dragging down the mask across his face, letting it hang under his chin. his lips are on your temple and phew, that’s new.

— “we should get home. i have a match tomorrow.”

— a game that becomes a statement in more ways than one.

— “ooh, is that sakusa’s jacket? so the rumors are true.”

— you fumble with the sleeves that seems to be determined to swallow up your hands. when he’d first offered it to you, it seemed so natural.

— “you might get cold.”

— god your boyf-... friend was so confusing.

— “not really. he hasn’t asked.”

— your classmate seems unconvinced but doesn’t comment further. that’s doesn’t say the same for the rest of the class who use every opportunity to chip at your resolve.

— “haven’t they been dating the whole time?”

— “they always hold hands now.”

— “i mean that’s his jacket isn’t it? it’s he like a germaphobe?”

— it’s getting harder to concentrate on the game. and certainly doesn’t help with every glance sakusa tosses up into the stands. by the end of the match, you’re beyond frazzled and ready to just sakusa the second he emerges from the gym.

— his teammate offer thanks in exchange for your praises on a game well won. it helps to distract you for a brief moment-but there he is now.

— his fingers slip befeeen yours like they belong and you can’t find the voice to complain. after congratulating him, there’s not much more said on your part. he walks you to your doorstep, not just the entrance, and lets his hand fall away. yet you both linger.

— “are we-“

— “are you-“

— when it comes down to it. obviously sakusa fails when it comes to words and actions seem to speak clearly.

— sakusa doesn’t protest when you reach up and undo his face mask for him. going as far as to lower his head, aware of your intentions, when you lean in.

— it’s a short kiss. a testing peck to balance in the shallow end before diving deep. his nose nudges yours and it’s your laugh that breaks the kiss.

— kiss-with kiyoomi sakusa-your once reluctant friend and now?

— sakusa leans in again. this time his hand on your shoulder for stabilization. there’s no tongue or extra touches. it’s just the act.

— life is all about changes.

— you smile and decide, yeah, you can do this.

— before he can leave, however, he’s tugging at the collar of his jacket.

— “i prefer to use my own detergent. but you can have it back tomorrow.”

— or maybe just some adjustments.

[kiyoo-omi]

from my love to you

Hello moots and followers! I just want to say happy new years and heres to 2021 treating us right. I’m not too good with words tbh but here I go!

I really can't believe I'm in a position to know so many great people on here! I’m so thankful that each and everyone of you are so welcoming. Every little likes and reblogs mean so much to me as as artist. But interacting with me makes my day so much better and brings such the biggest smile on my face! I’m so grateful that you guys even bothering interacting with me. I wouldn’t have continued this blog have it not been you guys!! I appreciate it so much and it means the world to me. You guys makes me strive to me a better artist (and writer)! I want to be able to make you guys happy and I hope whatever I do on my blogs bring u guys joy as much as it does me!

I hope to be better moot for everybody (cause I’m just a little too shy to interact with you all) Thank you so much for giving me a place in this community and I love you all!

To my lovely friends!

@lavenderpisces

JEN! MRS. BOKUTO! MRS. AIZAWA! MY BABY MY LOVE MY ANGEL CAKES LIGHT OF MY LIGHT APPLE TO MY EYEE! BOKUJEN AND SHOUJEN SUPREMACY UP IN THIS THIS BITCH 🤪! Aaaahhhh bby I don't know what to say but I love you so much!!! I know I don't show my appreciation as much lately or its been a while! But you are literally a light to my life and I value our friendship so much! I remember our baby talks on here and can’t believe here we are today! I'm counting five/six years girl and I want to celebrate every new year together until we are old as hell. I love when we fangirl, I love our little movie nights, I love getting you gifts, I love daydreaming about our future together and I hope you do too??? Please know I'm literally here for you, I would fight the world and book a ticket there for you if u ever need me to too. Just say the words! Please don’t ever hesitate to hit me up if you ever need to. I hate whatever you you are experiencing that makes you sad, I wish I could be there to fight it away for you! I know this year hasn’t been too nice, but please know that I’m literally just a text or call away! You are my priority. I can't wait for the day where we can see each other one day! I love u so much!

@coralpeachcalm

MIMI! HI!! Asdfghjjkkll sorry if this is a little awkward but I'm so glad you were one of the first person I have had the pleasure to meet! I don't remember who reach out to who but I’m so glad one of us did. I remember us fangirling so much back then! Thank you for being so supportive on my art and literally anything, and I’m so glad to have found you again! Here's to 2021 treating you right! I value you so much and I love you!

@seijuroww

Hi cameron! I hope you’re doing well lately! I just wanted to say holy shit! Im so proud of you and what you’ve done an accomplished! Just seeing you’re growth and journey has been so awe-inspiring. I hope you’re happier lately and im just so happy for you! Please know I’m here for you if you ever need help! I love you so much! 

To my lovely close mooties! 

@chibishae34

Hi SHAE!! Thank you for being one of my biggest supporter back on dinnachusart and just constantly liking and reblogging my works. You don’t know how much it meant to me being a small as artist and trying to scramble for a crumb of notes (XD lol). Sorry if I don't have much words to say I'm just so thankful that you were able to see me grow as an artist and i hope you still do!! Thank you for also being my penpal and please expect something hopefully this month! Here to 2021 treating you good and spending it together!

@datech

HI DIANA!! It’s the way you have my heart! You’re so sweet and adorable, you interaction in anything can brighten up anyones day. I'm still so surprise that were moots! It blows my mind cause I really admired you and your writing and I was intimidated by you!! Now look at where we are now! I’m ur disamu art dealer asddghhjkklldd.Thank you so much for your support on my art! It really does means the world and your comments are absolutely everything. Thank you for being one of the reason I stay on here! Cheers to 2021 love you and you deserve the best!

@sanriobimbo

HI PLUMMIE! PRETTY PLUMMIE SOULMATE!!! I'm so happy and glad we were able to hit is off so well! You’re one of the person I can feel so at ease with! I love our interactions and me just joking around with you lol! Just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you! Don’t ever doubt your writing please! Its the greatest and the world to my eyes! Make sure you take breaks and don't ever force yourself to provide or write! You simple being here is the greatest thing to happen to everybody you’ve come across! You deserve the world and imma fight 2021 if it ever crosses you! Love you lots plummie!

To my mooties who I'm so thankful that you even follow and interact with me!! I be fangirling and get so happy when you do! just know I love you all and appreciate you so much! I hope to see you all grow andsucceed to the absolute best in your life! Love you lots! Cheers to 2021. 

(In no particular order! I’m sorry if I sound repetitive. I’m sorry if you don't considered us moots ill take u off if u don't wanna be on here!)

@tsumtsumland : hope you doing well! Love you lots and ahhh im so thankful for you!! I love interacting with you! thank you for being my penpal and I hope to see more of eachother! I hope 2021 can be kind to you! 🤲🏽🥺💞💞💞

@midnightweeds: hi weeds! I just wanted to say im so grateful for you! Thank you for being so generous and lending a hand when i needed it the most! Thank u for sending me sakusa pictures as well! 🥺💞

@atsumuse: hi lay! ur such a cool person and I admire u so much! I hope 2021 treats you well! I love ur writng please its the best. 🥺💞

@tsukkis-crybaby: hi felicity! ur so beautiful and thank u for our interactions togther! I love seeing you on my dash and inbox! I hope 2021 is a good year for you! kisses for you!😘

@amberalisa hi alisa!! I hope ur doing well! I really love ur suna fic and can’t wait for your other one! happy New Years and I hope this year is a good year for you!!

@hisoillusandwich: hi Mae!! 🥺💞 ur sakusa fic is one of my favs and omg the fact ur interact with me at all my heart! here to 2021 being good to u beautiful!

@prettysetterbaby: hi jj!!! *screaming* you are so beautiful and deserve the utmost best in life! I love seeing you on my dash! thank you for being such a great person and supporting my art! you are so loved and I’m wishing nothing but the best for you! 2021 better treat you right!

@bucketofforks: hi hi bof! I’m so grateful for your interactions! they bring such smiles and laughs, I hope 2021 goes good for you!

@hq-trashies: hi kaley!! love seeing u on my dash sorry if we don’t interact as much! But you are such a beautiful person! Thank u for your book recs! send more my way haha’ I hope 2021 goes well for u!!

@velvesagi: hi jem!! Love seeing u on my dash!! thank u for ur interactions they mean a lot! Here’s to 2021 being a better year for you!

@sunaswife : hi knifey! I found you through ur suna series and I really love it!! I hope 2021 is a good year for you! Thank u for even interacting with u, pretty sure I was fangirlibg! Lol

@lovingnekoma: hi artimes! thank u so much for your interactions! they really do brighten up my day! I hope to be a better mutual to you! I hope 2021 can be ur year!

@inxriyama: hi bunny! 🥺🤲🏽💞💞💞really love ur writing and really enjoy our small interactions together! Here’s to 2021 being a good year!

@kurooblesse: hi tesh! I hope ur doing well and ughhhh please ur writing!! 😩💦 🥴 gives me the hots! Here’s to 2021 being good to you!!

@kenmasbb: hi tia!!! gaawwddd ur writing!! Please give me room to breathe! I really love our interaction and I hope u doing well and happy 2021!

@rintarhue: hi Kopi!! ur smau series are the best and ur rin one is so creative!! such a great writer and I hope to see more from you! here to 2021 being a good year to you!

@shoyosun: hi Marta!!! your art is so cute and can’t wait to see more of it!! thank u for being such a sweetheart and I hope we can interact more! cheers to 2021 being a good year!

@omijime: hi nini!! your so adorable and omg thank u for interacting with me! It means a lot! I hope you Samu, and suna have such a happy 2021 together!

@dxddykeiji: hi Sammy!! I know we don’t interact as much!! but I enjoy seeing you on my dash! thank you for being my moot and I hope 2021 is the best for you!

@radiantful: hi Martha! I’m so thankful for your interactions they brighten up my day! I hope 2021 is good to you!

@ukeishin: hi Celeste! thank u for poppin in my inbox here or there! I love our little interactions and hope we can interact more! I hope 2021 will treat you right! U deserve it!

@ladyrenart: hi Lena! I love your popping in my inbox! they make me smile so much! I appreciate you so much! cheers to 2021 being good to you!

@toniiihime: hi toni!! your so beautiful and your drawings are so cute! I can’t wait to see more! Can’t wait to see you grow! 2021 is ur year!

@aiiishiiiteru: hi nona! I know we don’t interact as much but I looove ur writing!! I’m screamed when u followed back XD! Cheers to 2021 being a good year for you!

@mi-yams: ren wifey!!! I love our interactions together!! you’re so fun and cute! I hope 2021 treats u well!

@darlingoshiki: hi saint! I hope 2021 is good to you! Thank u for popping in my ask here or there and I enjoy seeing on my dash!

@helloaisabelle: hi aisy! I love ur writing!! ur national team got me 🥴🥵 thank u for your interaction and I hope we can interact more! I hope 2021 is the best for you!

@onefortyninecm : hi Danielle! I’m grateful for interactions together m! Your art is amazing!! and you deserve all the love coming your way! you’re very beautiful and I hope I can be a better moot! here’s to 2021 treating you good! 🥺💞

@picassho-18​: hi Kate!! just wanted to say thank you for your support and I love seeing you inbox abs post! Wishing 2021 the best for u!

@inarizakicafe​: hi ni! I know where new moots. But I absolutely love your writing! I hope to interact more with you if that’s okay! cheers to 2021 to be a good year for you!

@itzdaichi​: hi lovely!! I just wanted to say your so sweet and adorable! Your interaction bring so much joy to me! I hope 2021 treats you right!

@tsukkikou​: hi kou! I really love our interactions and thank you for popping in my inbox for a while! It makes me really happy and I hope your doing well!

@suhkusa​: hi hi guys! Just wanted to say I love your writing and I hope 2021 is good to the both of you!

@sunseteyes​: hi gel!! ur so beautiful and I know we don’t interact as much! but I love when we do! I hope 2021 is a good year for you!

@alto-march-of-death​: hi al!! I appreciate our interactions and thankful that you even do in the first place! I hope to be a better moot and wishing 2021 is good to you!

@churochuu​: hi chuu!! I love our first interaction together!! you're art is so cute and adorable! 2021 better treat you right!

to my lovely anons and character interactions whoever you are. you guys absolutely have my heart. im so thankful that you guys even do this for me?? i feel like i dont deserve it. you guys make my day so much and i hope 2021 treat you so good. you dont know how much you guys are appreciated by everyone! love you! 

thank you to everybody for making the remaining month of 2020 one of my best! i love you all! 

[khaleesiofalicante]

HI, IT'S ME! YOUR LOCAL CHAOTIC WEIRDO!!!!! I'M BACK AGAIN LIKE I AM TWICE EVERY WEEK

IT'S MY BOY DAVID THIS TIME! WHY AM I SO HYPER! MAYBE BECAUSE THEY KISSED! AND I HAD TO SUPPRESS MY SCREAMS BCAUSE IM IN CLASS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUTSIDE MY DOOR (NOT LITERALLY OFC)

OK OK OK OK OK OK

MAX AND DAVID ARE AT THE LONDON INSTITUTE YESYESYESYES

He rather liked that part in a story – when the hero fell, and everything seemed bleak. It always meant that hope was just around the corner. Because darkness never lasted. It was always followed by light. There was nothing more beautiful than that kind of sunrise.

THIS

I literally live my life by this analogy

AHHH DAVID IS ON HIS TRAVEL YEAR AND MAX IS WITH HIM

SCREAM

well i can't scream because my mom is sitting right there and I have class in 4 minutes so imma smile really wide

“Are you planning to read the entire library during your travel year?” Max chuckled.

“Of course not,” David replied. “I will need longer than a year to accomplish that goal.”

Me.

Wait

does max not being able to make portals have something to do with his lineage?

like

demon parent

ok so my programming class started 2 minutes early but screw programming I'm gonna be studying minds not this shit

ok that's a very bad attitude for someone who needs good grades in this year

Max was always hungry.

this is so me

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

TY

THEY MENTIONED TY

also if David doesn't become an institute head in the future THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

“Where is the kitchen?” Max interrupted.

max is such a mood

He had told Max that he had centuries to perfect his magic, that there was no need to rush it. Max had given him a noncommittal nod and nothing more.

HE'S GONNA MAKE THE BEST PORTALS YOU'LL SEE

“I won’t tell the Consul,” Kit winked.

At the mention of the Consul, David straightened up. He had been trying to get into Alec Lightwood’s good graces for years now. He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favors.

DAVID UDUCDFUHKDUHVUHSDH

PLEASE IF WE DON'T GET A CUTE ALEC AND DAVID SCENE SOON

KIT CALLED TESSA MOM

oh my god

Word was that Mr. Herondale had gone back to his obsession with brewing tea.

JACE

I have so many emotions right now but all I'm gonna say is that I'm so so proud of Rafael

“Do you not want to sleep with me?” Max asked.

UH-

WELL-

DAVID STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND ALL THE SHIT

STOP IT

OH MY GOD THE ONE BED TROPE

MAX IS IN HIS ARMS I'M ABOUT TO-

takes a deep breath don't scream. everyone outside this door thinks you're taking programming class

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY

AWW JULIAN PAINTED PORTRAITS FOR THE INSTITUTE

The one of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray – A love that had transcended reality and lasted a lifetime.

The one of James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs – A love that had started with a lie and then blossomed into nothing but happiness and devotion.

The one of Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn – A love that had been so powerful that it rewrote the past.

The one of Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild – A love that had walked through hell and shaken up the heavens.

And then there the final one. The one of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn – A love that had survived distance and darkness and doom.

This omg...

He wanted a love story. The kind he read in the books. The kind he saw in these portraits.

But he wasn’t a Herondale. He wasn’t sure if he was destined for that kind of love.

HEY

DON'T THINK LIKE THAT

The first part though

same

He might have been a little too excited. It was biologically impossible to control yourself when you find a stranger reading your favorite book in the whole world.

SO TRUE

“I see you already made a new friend,” Max said.

He sounded a little…odd. As if he was not pleased that David had made a new friend.

honey...

take a guess

can I jump in and bash their heads together?

“You are thinking of conjuring chocolate syrup, aren’t you?” David chuckled.

“How do you always know what’s on my mind?” Max chuckled back.

Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too.

OH MY GOD I CANT WITH THIS

“You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup!” Max was yelling, standing on the chair.

They residents laughed harder, and David shook his head fondly. He hoped one day Max would pursue a career in theatre. He was a born showman.

can I have chocolate syrup?

also, the way David is just so fond of him like DYUSDGYJCDYUJM

“By the angel, do you have to be a drama queen about everything?” the boy next to them muttered – not so quietly.

David blinked. That was uncalled for.

But Max being Max was completely unfazed. “Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.”

exactly you rude little shit

Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.

wow ok stop calling me out

Is max jealous??????

is he??????

how are people so good at languages like damn

TY

TY

TY

TY

“Oh my god,” Max groaned. “Is he already telling people to check on me?”

LMAO

using mundane medicine...

that's risky

but it's also something that WILL help

can't warlocks tamper with the blood samples?

A part of him wondered if that’s why he had agreed to send Max away to London – at least for a week. Because sometimes you didn’t want other people to see you were hurting.

alec I really goddamn hope you're dealing with this well

some of whom had even decided to die than get help from a warlock.

alright then gets my knives but you chose this :D

Nobody brought a book down for breakfast if they didn't like to read.

yes but sometimes also to seem busy so people won't bother you or you won't look alone.

“I know,” the boy said as he walked past them to the gate. “I sat on the stairs and thought about life for a few good minutes.”

his family is the one who took over David's previous institute (i can't spell that. marse- marselli- wat??) methinks.

The gang always visited whenever all of them were in the city together. They would have so much fun! Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths.

LMAO, I CANT WITH THIS-

Rafe: I am anxiety.

me at any given moment

EW TESTICLES HE'S EATING THOSE-

ok maybe I'm the only person who's really picky when it comes to food and doesn't eat the majority of things

“Anything on Magnus Bane?” Max asked.

“No,” the woman snapped and shoved some of the letters into a bag and hide it under the table. “Leave Magnus Bane alone!”

“Appreciate your loyalty,” Max winked at her and started examining a diary.

I like her.

"Everyone should be participating in this" -my programming teacher

me, an intellectual: participating in what?? goes to the class web THE FUCK IS THAT

“Something for the shadowhunter?” the woman smiled. “Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?”

“Do you have any love letters?” David asked.

“Hmmm,” the woman went through the pages. “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood? Would you be interested in that?”

if u don't mind I would love to see both of those-

you know I just remembered I have a computer assignment I need to submit by the end of this week fml

“Never fall in love with an immortal,” she giggled again. “We don’t like staying in one place.”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

MAX WHERE ARE YOU

why are we using x and 3 in programming class what the heck is going on

“I’m not just some warlock,” Max said, his voice low. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

GIVE HIM THAT NECKLACE BACK

we usually have programming once a week on our physical school days and those are fun because my and my friend are continuously passing notes and talking to each other through writing

The scene where Max fought off all the evil people who tried to steal his valuable belonging. He would fight without breaking a sweat and throw magic fireballs at everyone and then get his necklace back. And then he would kiss David in front of everyone and it would somehow rain all of a sudden.

But life wasn’t a movie or a book. Life was just life.

life's boring

fuck life

I just heard a student ask "why are we not taking out the values of b and c" BESTIE I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING PROGRAMMING AND NOT ALGEBRA?????

“I know there wasn’t anyone to protect you before,” Magnus Bane had said. “But we are here now. We will protect you. This will protect you.”

He hadn’t wanted it back then. He didn't even want it even now.

He didn’t want something to protect him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor.

So, David had smiled and given the bracelet back.

“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.”

The warlock had smiled at that and given David a hug. It had felt different than other hugs he had experienced since he had come to New York.

It wasn’t just the magic. Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him.

I'm gonna cry during my programming class (where we're doing variables apparently all of a sudden??)

this is so beautiful

“I wasn’t talking about Bapa,” Max said now. “I was talking about the other one.”

David chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah. He is definitely going to kill you.”

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

so Jackson has family troubles

I've definitely got that

yeah I know what it's like to be jealous of someone else's perfect family

JACKSON WTF

Is he trying to ruin max's relationship with his family???

oh hell no

JACKSON THE AUDACITY

“One stolen necklace, One broken nose and One bruised cheek,” he said. “And you’ve been in London for less than a day.”

kit seriously? but is he wrong though?

“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” David sighed and walked through the portal.

WELL AT LEAST HE'S SELF AWARE

Jackson...

in some ways, I can empathize with him. my younger self anyway. but Jackson this is not how you do things

There was a moment of silence and then Magnus Bane giggled.

“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral,” the warlock grinned.

MAGNUS

NOT.THE.TIME

(me too)

“David!” Mr Herondale gasped. “Is your hand okay?”

yup that's Jace y'all

David hated violence. He hated fighting – which he was often not allowed to say out loud considering he was a shadowhunter.

But it was the truth. He hated hurting people – or even things. It made him feel sick.

“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-”

“Use my words?” David asked.

“Just don’t get caught,” the man winked.

and that is why I would never want to be a shadowhunter.

I know saying that doesn't do anything but when I first read tsc I wanted to be a shadowhunter really badly and damn that was some time ago but now...violence of any kind is my biggest trigger idek why. and I hate that so much because what kind of a person gets triggered by loud voices and fighting EVEN ON SCREEN??? I usually just push myself to watch stuff because it's dumb. I refuse to see trigger warnings before reading a book or watching a show because damn it, I should be able to stand those things I'm, not a child. and it may be doing me more harm than good but I shouldn't feel like this in the first place

okay...that was long

ANYWAY

“David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.”

“Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!”

LMAO ALEC

Jackson...

oh

oh

oh

I was wrong then

He was grinning. Magnus Bane must have raised hell in the shadow market.

that must have been fun

Max was doing that thing where he was not trying to pout but he was mostly definitely pouting. It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening.

well-

“I understand that Jackson has been through a lot. But that’s not an excuse for him to hurt those around him. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, you shouldn’t excuse his behaviour.”

someone's trauma and pain is never an excuse to hurt others

but that doesn't mean we should invalidate their trauma either

“You can stay back and try to help him. I won’t stop you,” the man got up now. “But if he tries to hurt you-”

“You will unleash hell?” David chuckled.

“Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.”

that is much much worse

Books brought him comfort in so many ways. Just holding one in his hands automatically made him feel better.

oh my god

he gets it

I always have a book with me when I'm out even if I'm not gonna get the time to read it because just the weight and comfort of it in my hands or in my backpack brings me so much comfort and helps with my social anxiety so much

no one understands when I try to tell them that

you get it...

someone gets it finally

AYYY IRENE

“David, it’s very sweet that you want to protect Jackson,” Kit pointed out. “But literally no one is buying that. Not even Irene.”

The lynx purred on his lap as if she agreed with Kit.

“I could break into a liquor cabinet,” David said a little indignantly.

David is the nicest you can get

David wouldn’t. Apparently, everyone already seemed to know that - even the lynx he had met five minutes ago.

we are solving something in class and it's really quiet because we're all doing our work (I'm reading the fic so-) and this one person had their mic open and they kept on whispering their steps and it was so weird I cant-

BUT YES DAVID IS A CINNAMON ROLL. EVEN THE LYNX KNOWS

“We were talking about shitty fathers,” Jackson pointed out. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than red wine for this conversation,” Kit chuckled.

I remember that bitch

David used to do it when he was a child. He used to pretend his life was a story. He used to pretend everything that happened to him was happening to some other boy – a boy who wasn’t real. A boy who lived inside a book. Because it hurt a little less when you pretend like it wasn’t happening to you.

But the pain was still very real.

OK YOU CAN STOP CALLING ME OUT NOW

“I fucking hate ogres,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Was your father an ogre too?” Jackson asked.

“He was more like a harpy,” Kit snorted. “He was always flying and fleeing. I didn’t know how deep his talons were in my head until it was too late.”

you really like traumatizing all your characters, don't you?

I really fucking hope the ogre got what he deserved

and if the angel is dead then fuck everyone

“I mean, there was that time when Sebastian Morgenstern turned my father into the endarkened, and then he went around killing people. So, I would say he was more like a zombie,” the man was explaining now. “The zombie father tried to kill me but my brother killed him first.”

“Good lord!” Jackson said in shock.

Kit chuckled softly. “Boy do shadowhunters need therapy.”

they really do

He knew about those from New York. He knew Mr Herondale and Miss Fairchild went for one together.

YES GET THEM THERAPY

“Yikes,” Kit chuckled. “I’d prefer something classier. How about London Boys?”

“None of us are from London though,” Tiberius pointed out.

“The Beatles are not actually beetles, Ty,” Kit chuckled. “It’s just for pizazz.”

damn guys

Then the idea of a band turned into a possible YouTube channel where they would react to cute animal videos.

YS DO IT

“When people do awful things, really awful things, at one point we stop being surprised. Like what Valentine did to his children or what our fathers did to us or what those women did to Rafael. We might have been shocked or disgusted. But it wasn’t unrealistic, was it?”

“I guess not,” the boy said.

“Even when they did the most unimaginable acts of cruelty, it somehow managed to fit into our imagination. We accepted that the world can be unrealistically cruel. The kind of cruelty we will never understand. But why isn’t it the same for kindness? Why is that when someone is too kind, we automatically feel uncomfortable? We judge their intensions or think they are just pretending to be nice. We think they are being unrealistic. Why is that?”

we get so used to cruelty that kindness feels weird

“But that’s how our life works, doesn’t it? It’s a giant ball of what ifs and could have beens and if nots. What if my father had loved me instead of hurt me? Could I have been kinder if I was hugged instead of being abused? Would have I been a different person if not for my trauma? Our lives are an endless collection of theories about our real selves. The one didn’t we never had the chance to become.”

THIS

I used to spend a bunch of time on the what-ifs but those are useless. so screw the what-ifs and live in the present

“I guess we’ll never know, Jackson. None of us will never know how we would have turned out if things had been different for us. We never got the chance to be who were meant to be. Instead, we became who we had to become to survive what we went through. We will never know our true selves. We only know the version of us that made it through all the trauma.”

“Christ, that’s depressing,” Jackson said.

“It is,” David nodded. “But we made it through. We survived. I think we should focus on that.”

you survived. that's what matters

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued,” David smiled.

I wish I had heard this before...

maybe I don't always have to be strong. maybe it's ok sometimes just want to be saved.

I'm so happy that both Jackson and David found each other

David had learned Gaelic. Jackson had learned how to play the piano.

They had laughed and lived and loved and learned.

And they had survived – one day at a time. The London Boys.

they survived.

I know I'm always key smashing and screaming but these words, these lines, all these chapters mean so so much to me.

“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” David asked, hugging Jackson closely.

“No,” Jackson replied. “I will FaceTime you like a normal person, you weirdo!”

David laughed at that. “I prefer letters. They are more emotional.”

“I’ll text you,” Jackson countered. “With emojis.”

oh to have someone write me letters.

I love writing letters

once at the end of a school year, I wrote little letters to everyone in my class anonymously. even the people who had been mean to me. that was like 1-2 years after my transfer to that school and everyone practically hated me but I wanted to do something nice because who knows what someone is going through. I ended up not putting them in people's desks...

I threw them all away :)

but writing letters is superior

I often write my feelings down and give the letter to someone rather than talk to someone

if you receive a letter from me or a custom-made gift...you have reached my ultimate friendship

oh my god. THIS IS HOW I SHOULD TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY FEELINGS

It's kind of been a mess between us and I want to talk to her but I didn't know how to.

this is why i shouldn't send asks-

JACKSON CATCHING UP ON MAX AND DAVID

“You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.”

“You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.

“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.”

"wanker"

I HAVE A BRITISH ONLINE FRIEND AND THEY CALLED OUR AMERICAN ONLINE FRIEND A WANKER

AND OUR OTHER BRITISH FRIEND JOINED IN

WHILE ALL THE NON-BRITISH PEOPLE WERE LIKE "huh"

Lexi had cut her hair even shorter. Her girlfriend apparently got something called an undercut.

“Just in case someone dared to assume we were straight,” she had winked at him.

how many years has this fake dating been going on...

CENTURION SELENA

fterA the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart.

"went looking for his heart"

OH FUCK I FORGOT TO JOIN MY CLASS

MAX STOP DEPLETING YOUR SELF GODDAMN

And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

oh my god that's a parallel from canon

“Tell me why.”

“Ain't nothing but a heart break!!"

Max-

Max could make fireballs that killed demons on the spot. He could summon things from anywhere. He could heal people with his eyes closed. He was one of the youngest warlocks allowed to visit the spiral labyrinth.

Max was a warlock in every sense. A good one. A great one even.

he is so talented...

Only idiots would underestimate Magnus Bane’s power.

EXACTLY

He is probably going to be Consul like next week.”

David chuckled. “Next week?”

next week????

“Yeah, his smoking habits,” Max rolled his eyes.

Rafael wasn’t the smoker in the family. He knew who it was, but David would never open his mouth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

this keeps on getting better

“It’s my hair!” David laughed.

“And you’re my David!” Max argued. “I say you are not allowed to grow your hair.”

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

“I don’t want to downworld-splain it to you.”

Max blinked and then laughed. “You don’t want to what?”

“Downworld-splain,” David mumbled. “It’s when shadowhunters explain downworlders how to be downworlders.”

they were SO close to kissing

I'm gonna get in there and lock them in a closet together and tell them to FUCKING GET WITH IT

Remember who you are. Remember where you stand.

remember who you are. remember where you stand...

I know this is supposed to be about portals.

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED

THEY KISSED

IM SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING CLASS AND EVERYONE OUTSIDE THIS ROOM BE DAMNED

OH MY GOD DAVID FELL

reminds me of when alec fell down the stairs-

OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SCREAM

WE'RE GONNA GET MORE MAVID CONTENT SOON I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY UYDRVFY7VSDU7UYVFSDUYGCADUYIGJCDSHJKGDVCSUGISDVHVF

ok, I have a computer assignment to get to and tests to study for. BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO MUCH!! THEY FINALLY KISSED I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!

Also I know I tend to go off track and you can totally ignore that. i just go crazy. BYEE

This live blog gives me so much life you don't even know. I am go glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing you rant about it. It's refreshing lol.

And I looooooove the lil anecdotes you share in between. Also wtf is a programming class like nobody wants to learn programme what kind of hetero nonsense I-

FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDY FOR YOUR TESTS I'LL SEE YOU SOON :)

[pbandjesse]

I tried to touch up my nail polish and it didn't dry right and now is more messed up then before so that's cool.At least Im in a lot less pain today. Its not all gone but its getting better.

I slept in really late. James went for a long bike ride to Annapolis. So I got to have some time alone. Which was nice honestly. I wasn't in a good headspace. I was still upset about finding out I was exposed again. And I was still aching. I needed to accomplish something big.

I got washed and dressed and got myself psyched up. And I cleaned.

I spent so much time cleaning the bathroom. Over an hour. I took everything out and scrubbed the floors. I did all the things. I even had the scrubby drill attachment out. Honestly our floor always looks dirty because the tile was put down poorly and all the edges have so much concrete build up that it just looks very dirty. But I tried my best to make it clean. I scrubbed and wiped and put things away that weren't getting used. It felt good to make the space very clean again. Like we always just touch up clean it but it was good to really work on it. The space is weird so its not always the easiest to take care of, but I am proud of myself.

Once I was done cleaning I was putting everything away and getting ready to take an animal crossing break when James got back! They smelled so bad??? Understandable with an almost 70 mile bike ride but I literally jumped away from them!! We had a big laugh about it.

James took a shower and we talked about the plan for the afternoon. Rest, lunch, groceries, and James needed to edit their podcast.

I felt weird though. After putting so much effort out. I was, and am, still hurting but I was also bored. I didn't know what to do with my energy.

James would go get us Chipolte. Which was really nice and made me feel a lot better honestly. I needed the food. And James got rid of any old food in the fridge so we would have space for groceries later. And then they spend some time editing while I laid in bed.

Groceries was fun. I always like groceries. We didn't need a ton, mostly we needed drinks and papertowels and kitty litter. But we got a few other things and it was nice walking around.

But my chest hurt and I was having some anxiety about being out of the house. I was glad when we were done. James got in line while I went to grab drink powder but I got stuck in the aisle because it got very busy in there all of a sudden and I got back to the register as she was scanning our last few items. But I made it!

We got back and James unloaded everything. And I gave sweetP the special fish treat we got for him which he loved. It was like a whole fish filet. Im glad he got something special.

After that I got to work on cleaning the kitty litter. I deep cleaned our bathroom so I wanted to deep clean sweetP's bathroom too. And I feel like I hadn't done a full change in a while so it was a lot of ammonia smell but I scrubbed everything down and disinfected everything and it was a lot of work but once I was done James was finishing up dinner.

They made us naan and chana masala and it was very good naan. Which they made themselves. And we watched a video. It was nice.

After dinner James headed to the theater to work for a bit. I worked in the studio. I finished sewing the bear faces for James's commission from me. And I worked on my brother's present because he wont let me buy him something. And then I started another stamp. I did not finish it but I made great progress. It was nice to work.

I took a very long shower. My hair was very dirty. But its very curly and pretty right now. I got to use my new oatmeal lotion that's supposed to help my skin. And then had a very tiny pumpkin pie bite. And then James was home!

We have been chilling since then. James is editing in the other room. Im laying with sweetP. Its pretty chilly right now. My hands are cold. But it is alright. It is time to go to sleep.

Let's hope that tomorrow is a fun and good day. Sleep good everyone.

[skruttet]

below is some nonsense about snorkmaiden and then a little about her brother at the end idk it doesn’t make much sense probably im sorry i had a clearer idea of what i wanted to say when i started out but then i just forgot it all i think xD

I've always admired Snorkmaiden for her cleverness; she's incredibly brilliant, though she's also incredibly compassionate, so often she'll follow her heart over her head which can end up with her acting or doing something "stupid" (and in all honesty she does possess a level of dumbassery, just as all Moomin characters do! She does tend to be smarter than most, though). 

Similarly, she often allows others to take the credit for her own achievements because she knows it will make them feel better - and these "others" are pretty much always male, specifically Moomintroll and the Snork.

She lets the latter take the majority of the credit for catching the Mameluke in Finn Family Moomintroll, when really they never would have caught it if it weren't for her cunning and inventiveness (a trait often prescribed only to her brother yet I wholeheartedly believe she is equally as inventive, just usually on a more immediate-solutions-to-everyday-problems level), and she hands over the credit for her solutions & discoveries to Moomintroll multiple times in the comic strips, and even in Moominvalley, like when she suggests they should make their own bonfire but almost patronisingly calls him “my clever Moomintroll” when he remarks how the bonfire has helped them.

She does all this to indulge their egos and avoid wounding their pride... which to a modern feminist like myself I dislike and it makes me upset that she won’t take rightful pride in her own accomplishments and in doing so help them realise how capable she - and by extension, women - can be.

But on the other hand, she does do this out of her compassion and love for them. She’s avoiding any conflict or argument, and acting very similarly to how Moominmamma often does; offhandedly agreeing with the prideful male whilst clearly secretly knowing the truth of the matter.

Then on the... other other hand, we know that Snorkmaiden wants to make extraordinary achievements and be recognised for them; she wants to do “something tremendous, all on my own,” and is subsequently very proud when she presents the Wooden Queen to Moomintroll, even recalling it when she gazes at the King’s Ruby. So maybe she just doesn’t believe that her achievements are big or important enough?

On top of all this, Snorkmaiden appears to be a character who is very much affected by society’s views and expectations of women (particularly in the comics which play around with gender roles a lot; usually to make fun of them and point out how silly they are, though oftentimes in Lars’ case I do feel he can just play into & perpetuate them) and she does seem to value being perceived as a stereotypical young woman (weak; attractive; airheaded; etc.) over allowing people to see her brains and bravery. Whether or not this is a good thing, I can’t really say. Part of her appeal as a female character is that she is girly and attractive and graceful - as well as being smart and capable and brave, so maybe I’d just prefer her to value all aspects of herself equally?? (and of course there are many times where she uses her stereotypical qualities in clever ways in order to get what she wants).

ANYWAY I’ve lost where I was going with this now ummm I guess for Moominvalley season 3 I just want Snorkmaiden to start becoming more sure of herself. I mean, it’s tricky cause she’s already SO confident, but having that extra sense of self-worth to not let the boys outshine her achievements would be great. And it’ll be super interesting seeing what they’ll do with Snork; I wrote a post ages ago talking about how he kind of enhances your empathy for Snorkmaiden because he can be so sexist and belittles her but we’ll see if Moominvalley even includes that in his personality. It would make for a great arc for him if they do to some extent; like his sister, he too is very much affected by society’s misogynistic views of women (as well as the stereotypes of men needing to be logical and unemotional) and so he spouts some nonsense that I honestly don’t think he genuinely believes but he was just brought up hearing people say, and he also clearly doesn’t feel comfortable expressing his love for his sister so instead lashes out at her or acts annoyed when really he’s just flustered and is actually very proud of her and loves her very much. So it’d be nice to see him overcome this barrier he’s built and learn to express his emotions more clearly and gently, especially in regards to his sister.