#im. literally just. im disappointed in myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

severedegg · 9 months

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?????????????????? i thought i posted this but apparently not???????? well its here now lol, did these just over a month ago lmao

#was trying to look for this as a ref n couldnt find it n got so confused #a lil stupid in the head sometimes but its ok #dhmis #dont hug me i’m scared fanart #dont hug me im scared #don't hug me i'm scared #dhmis red guy #dhmis yellow guy #dhmis duck #dhmis fanart #im. literally just. im disappointed in myself #ive cycled through at least 3 interest things just this month and they just keep circling #its ok because im in love with making art #ITS ONLY THE 7TH OF JANUARY. IM SPEEDRUNNING THIS SHIT #help me

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onlyjaeyun · 5 months

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i'm gonna log off for a while because i'm really mentally drained from constantly hearing how unhappy and disappointed some of you guys were with both SB and CH'snendings and developments.

i know some of you guys come from a good place and mean no harm but imagine working on something for so long and then you yourself are already sad about how things ended but you wanna use it as a way to do better next time but people constantly tell you how you should do better next time and its always "i was so excited but it never came" and "i wished things would have gone this way" after you spent days crying out of frustration because your brain didn't corporate.

people who have never written (one shots or series doesnt matter) don't know the burden of leaving unfinished works up there. i keep telling you guys that i tried so hard to somehow give you guys an ending because if i hadn't you guys would have never received ANY ending so i tried to make the best of it.

i dont take the hate to heart anymore bc i couldnt care less and i know as a writer i should be open to criticism but i'm a little tired of my work being constantly nitpicked when i do this for fun.

i know updating daily was what burnt me out pls stop telling me that i obviously overestimated myself i fucking know.

whatever, it actually doesn't matter anymore because CH is over and i dont think i'll ever write smaus that long ever again bc the criticism is so not worth the mental effort and stress.

i do this for FUN. you know how artists doodle in their notebooks, this is what this blog is to me. i make mistakes, i over/underestimate things and myself bc this is life. it's just..not that deep for y'all to constantly camp in my inbox and make me feel bad about it when i already accepted it.

i'm gonna do some self reflection and think about it all so take care babies 🤍

#; rambles #i've literally been receiving huge paragraphs about just how excited people were about certain things in both CH and SB and several people #have told me how i should have just stopped daily updating and listening to y'all and taking breaks and not burn myself out bc now they're #disappointed and it sounds a LOT like my parents when they realised im just another burnt out former gifted child so #i'll see you guys around 🤍

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melatien · 8 months

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tiny yoichi (unwillingly) lures out soldiers by being his helplessness little self so his brother can strike

#bases are the most reliable way to find food afo found!#yoichi is crying bcuz he pitys them <3 #not because hes nervous #im gonna be honest i made this idea up on the spot when drawing this #pewdiepies new art video awakened something in me I NEEDED TO REMIND MYSELF I CAN STIL DRAW BANGERS TOO #i didnt disappoint myself!!!! competitiveness is my enemy and my bestie literally #anyways his right eye was an absolute horrendous nightmare to draw it was going so well until i did the hair then it ruined the eye #i actually thought yoichi was wearing shoes at this age but then i looked back at those chapters and realised yoichi was shoeless #WITH ONLY A BANDAGE ON HIS FOOT??!?!!?!? agony #can yoichi not make me wish he had something good in life for ONE SECOND #think of this as like how he responded to afo killing those people that (presumably) beat yoichi up beforehand #we dont know if hes crying because his brother is killing or if he was crying before being 'saved'#ill try do some fluff art soon ive been really interested in body horror related art lately so i wanted to play around!!!#i have a BUNCH of ideas written down ive yet to do #i just keep doing whatever i feel like #i am the master of ignoring the instructions and winging it #mha #my art #yoichi shigaraki #one for all #my hero academia #first ofa user #shigaraki yoichi #mha yoichi #tiny yoichi #tiny yoichi in his shabby little clothes #ive actually been dying to draw tiny yoichi again but KIDS ARE SO HARD TO DRAW!!!!!#i had an art moment though #HALLEJUHAH #art gods had my back fr

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fear-no-mort · 10 months

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im getting increasingly nervous for every episode that doesn’t have the gorilla appear because its presence in the season poster implies that it’s connected to another major thing happening

#just for the sake of not disappointing myself rn im under the belief that the rest of the season is just gonna be normal chill adventures #but at the same time i can’t deny my excitement about the finale. have you fucking SEEN its image in the title reveal video #thst literally can’t be nothing. WHY DO TBE THINGS IN THE PODS LOOK LIKE MORTYS. WHY IS THE DESCRIPTION THING WEIRDLY SIMILAR TO AN-#-EVIL MORTY QUOTE. But keeping my hopes down!!!!#rick and morty #odiespeak

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murdoc · 23 days

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just gonna start blocking people making and defending ai posts now.

i cant believe i have to point this out, but photography is also an art form. the photo realistic ai slop being put out isn't just using stock photos for their datasets.

i know this site is the pinnacle of reposting photos without credit, but the fact people go even further and mock others point out ai generated images by being obtuse and saying shit like "yeah, op should've just commissioned a painting of this photorealistic image" .... i mean. they could. or they could do it themselves. but clearly they're saying this as a gotcha because that's absurd to ask an artist specializing in drawing/painting

idk. i see this shit on my dash so often now and feel insane going in the replies, only to see ppl dogpiling people calling this slop out. and then calling those people stupid..... its actually a little depressing

#this and ppl reblogging reposted art without checking if the artist allows reposts or is already on the damn site are my deeply online hills #(to die on)#im gonna keep the ppl im following around but its just disappointing seeing this shit lmao #like im less pissed off if its using a giant ip and only that. but even w that how do you know its not a fan render.#which is literally something companies are also stealing #site allegedly on the side of artists turns out to not actually be on the side of artists if it means posting low effort comedy #i am sorry i talk abt this so much though. its annoying to me but i give myself three passes before i complain now #diary

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rowanisawriter · 8 months

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#i entered an excerpt of some shit i wrote last year to a literary mag #that was the first time i ever had anything original of mine read by someone other than me in like 20 years lol #i meant to do it as like a gesture to prove to myself that i can like submit something??#and i did submit so it did work i proved it to myself ok move on #obviously i didn’t expect to win of course obviously #tell me why i feel crushed about it lol just found out this evening i didn’t make the finalists obviously i wasn’t expecting it but still #kind of disappointed #which is so cringe tbh i am cringing #someone submitting something for literally the first time expecting to get sone kind of recognition this is cringe beyond belief of me tbh #anyway #im writing a short story now and we’ll see where it goes and whatever but #writing anything original is so fucking hard and no one looks at it anyway #but still wanna do it idk whatever whatever #god #i just had to put this somewhere whatever it’s out ok now back to writing #delete later #idk whatever

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sweetvalentinescandy · 2 months

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trying to make some tweek designs just to like practice or somethin idk ell oh ell im not feeling very confident in my art anymore lowkey

big yap fest for each design under the cut !!

Barbarian Tweek

"ive never really thought of tweek as afab outside of TSOT, but i feel more comfortable drawing top surgery scars [than i do like.. nipples.] ive always seen tweek as trans, usually non conforming/non binary/androgynous in general, but ive never considered transmasculine. but i like the idea!

this is probably my least canon compliant design of this bunch. i feel like the fantasy of TSOT is just so ripe for headcanons. i NEVER draw sp characters with canon in mind really, probably the autism taking over or somethin, but i always at least age them up [more in the main tweek design]. for this design, i was thinking more of what tweek thought they looked like, if not the more au version of TSOT. like, The Thief by Wintergrew on ao3 kinds of non canon compliant. thats also most of the inspiration for basically every TSOT thing i do ever. i love that series (i did cry) (a lot)"

Tweek Tweak

"its the original guy lets have a round of applause honestly..., not my favorite time ive drawn bro. he looks so boring when hes just standing there. i always see tweek as non binary, just because i project on them a LOT.. like. i know that hes a guy and probably doesnt care [in canon], but i just headcanon like that i guess. i also age him up, along with every other sp character, to be around my age so like 14-17. i know thats controversial [and by "i know" i mean i saw someone on sp whisper pinterest say they hated it] but i just dont know how to write kids. theyre kinda boring. i can project more onto teens i guess. thats kinda all there is to say. sometimes i draw tweek with brown pants, but thats because i just like the earthy aesthetic [on them]"

Wonder Tweek

"this is the most canon compliant one. im just not that much of a TFBW guy honestly (which is sad because its the only source of not really canon twenny sigh) but i guess its also the source of some of the best creek. i am not a creek hater but sometimes its hard to fight the allegations when i start crying over them having a cute scene in a video game [not because im mad its because i miss being in a relationship] [frowney tumblr loser behavior] when i say this is the most canon compliant one, i mean it. this is SHORT HAIR TWEEK. [i usually draw tweek with like longer hair like 2021 wolfmullet hair and with the little twin sideburn things idk what theyre called, mostly because i didnt know how to draw short boy hair before getting into sp and thats just how i drew them instead but a year later i finally decided to just do it and thought it was okay for startin out] code red. sound the alarms. theres not a lot to say besides that. (can you tell i hit my peak with barbarian tweek.) [i ordered this by order of how i finished them and yes you can tell sigh]"

#south park #tweek tweak #barbarian tweek #wonder tweek #the stick of truth #sp tsot #tfbw #sp tfbw #brief mention of creek #im not interested in my hobbies very much anymore but its ok #ill probably get out of it soon i hope #ok so since this is probably gonna get buried... ive been.... watching hermitcraft.#im still super super super not a dsmp fan the last dsmp fan i thought was nice and cool was my ex and he was a whole can of worms #i dont dont dont dont dont like dsmp ever no #just knowing how many problematic people are in that series is just so ick i couldnt ever see past that shit #also its just not what i want in content besides that #but ive really taken a liking to hermitcraft and the life series and yeah its cringe but like.. idk its captivated me.#and ive.... been... drawing fanart #vine boom sound effect plays the room shakes the earth splits in half gasp sound effect “you need to LEAVE!!”#but im really disappointed because of the overlap of dsmp fans in the life series/hermitcraft fanbase #so its either i post hermitcraft fanart and risk the dsmp fans liking my stuff and interacting #which does remind me of my ex unfortunately sigh #or i just.. dont post hermitcraft fanart. sigh #i dont ever worry too much about who interacts bc i dont want to gatekeep my art #like dsmp fans have interacted before #but i just... dont want to associate myself personally with that fandom #i KNOW theres good dsmp fans but me personally if i was supporting that group i wouldnt be very proud of it either #just wanted to get that off my chest (TOP SURGERY JOKE)#tumblr tags are literally my diary bro oh my shit

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burinazar · 7 months

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:( patheticposting

nearly literally reduced to tears rn by how overwhelmingly it feels like nobody cares what I make or like or think about and how meaningless any of my creativity and love and effort is

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angelstrawbabie420 · 2 months

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felt

#anyway im gonna vent real quick #it’s absolutely crazy to me how much my relapse into self harming/cutting has made my anxiety worse #bc until i was 18 whenever my mom’d find out i’d cut i’d just be punished emotionally and physically to the point i am now looking over my #shoulder constantly paranoid that i’ll be hurt somehow bc i’ve relapsed #despite now being an adult and my parents being dead #it’s crazy how i constantly feel like i’m being watched 24/7 even when i #im entirely home alone bc my privacy was invaded so severely and my every move picked apart constantly my whole childhood #i can never behave like my true genuine self bc im terrified someone will find out and ridicule me for it #it got so bad i started to have panic attacks & literal hallucinations over it when i was younger #and it’s so sad to me bc i was struggling SO horrifically w trauma and abuse as a child and i felt like self harm was the only way to cope #and yet i was never met with any understanding or help i was just told i was attention seeking/hurting everyone around me/making ppl’s lives #hell and though there’s no way anyone would find out unless i told them now and there’s no one to control me over it #i still feel like the biggest burden on earth for coping any way i can to keep myself alive #every time i’ve done something to keep myself on this earth i have been told i’m being so selfish #yet if i chose the alternative and actually killed myself it would be all ‘oh gone too soon we loved them blah blah blah’#you treated me like i was dirt that i was was desperately clawing along in an attempt to survive #it’s as if these people would rather me have died #i do not know how to heal the decades of damage this has led to. i don’t know how to move forward #all i’ve ever been good at is being a nuisance to others that they’d rather drop like hot garbage #anyway. i cut so bad last night my entire fucking upper arm burns #i haven’t done it that bad in years. i can usually stop myself after just a couple but not this time #i just feel so guilty and heavy and gross and disappointing. even tho the only ppl who know are those who i confide in #whatever #sh tw #dlt ltr

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p-taryn-dactyl · 10 months

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uh oh it's feeling like i should rewatch Downton Abbey

oh noo

#downton abbey #this show literally is what brought me and my Gigi closer togethe #*together #plus i just really like historical shows #the only problem is this show makes me defend rich people #i know im disappointed in myself too

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nerdstreak · 10 months

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the duty to go to bed for a 5am shift tomorrow vs not wanting to FUCKING do that because i wanted to write goddammit.

#hannah babbles #stupid pos lazy brain i HAVE the doc open make the words fucking go #even when im literally thinking of the paragraph to write next i just stare and nothing fucking happens #so fucking disappointed in myself #hate having to wake up so fucking early why cant i have my 7am and 8 instead all the time #i shouldnt complain because im only part time but its still fucking draining #i nap so much more unintentionally #i dont WANNA fucking nap either i wanna be productive!!!

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sunspinecity · 1 year

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i havent wanted to comment on the sandsurge drama bc i think it's insane but like. anyone who says that staff "isn't very communicative" has never played another petsite in their life. Turn back time spend 3 years on neopets and then we'll talk about communication bro..

like there is literally an entire Dev Status Sidebar that shows you what they're saying about whats going on that they update pretty regularly and they do dev updates + stay in contact with their playerbase and closely watch their reactions to updates to see where they messed up and what can be improved on. Like what on planet earth are you talking about. genuinely

the only agreement i will give to communication issue is that the wording on aeq's post regarding the fact that it would be a gem breed took me 7 tries and i still dont get it bc it reads to me as "2nd breed will be treasure, 3rd will be gems"?? which is obv not true. I genuinely can't see what ppl mean by this being a confirmation. but thats not a communication issue it is a Confusing Wording issue. don't complain about communication unless you've played literally any other petsite bc i guarantee you this level of transparency and care you will find in very few other places.

#and before anyone thinks im sucking up to staff. i dont like staff. i will never let myself have anything more than #respect for people i dont know on a day to day basis. they run a company. not my friends. esp not after how the eye genes were treated #fr #flight rising #chimechatter #this is the only thing ill be saying on this or reblogging btw i just got irritated<3 #my only opinions on every other issue ppl have is 1. i think modern gem breeds should be 1200 and ancients should be 600g #i cant put apparel on them why thr hell am i paying yhat much. i have to pay 1kg and then a shitton for a skin if i want one and then pay fo #r gem genes too can you get real with me. but its fine i can grind bc if im not gonna pay up im gonna god damn do it right #its literally fine. and 2. was initially disappointed we didnt get at least an egg bc i love getting eggs but w/e ill jus grind. 2 weeks of #g&g gets u a breed change scroll lmao its whatecer #they gotta make money. it is what it is. i use adblocker because the changing ads are distracting n give me a headache #so i better either put my money where my mouth is or grind it out yk. Whateval #such a nothing burger drama honestly

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year

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Why can I only ever feel dread and never excitement, I'm just incapable of being excited until I'm physically doing whatever it is