#image 9: my single once a year trip to the drink place that has really nice garlic noodles. this time with beef? which was good too. And

[icewindandboringhorror]

misc. daily life photos again .. for the every once in a while that I collect enough over a few months to actually make a photo set out of them lol

[neverendingstories00]

Past The Point Of No Return (Ch.9/FINALE)

Pairing: Safin x F!Reader

Summary: You attempt to adjust back to your mundane lifestyle, but Safin still haunts you. Safin makes sure to let the world know that you are his and only his.

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: N/A

A/N: GUYS!! It's the final chappie...😖 Dw, there's an epilogue that is going to come very shortly. I know this has been short, but it's been a really fun ride. I promise to write more fics in the future. I might take a small break since school and that I've been writing non-stop for the past week and posting the chappies at like 3am. Anwyays, I stayed up until 2am to finish this for you guys. Your support and comments literally make my day so thank you once again! Hope you guys enjoy this ❣️❣️

MASTERLIST

Three months on that dreaded island, and the world hadn’t changed. M16 was still running, the protests still occurred, and you (surprisingly) were still alive. You returned to your old apartment and saw the desk where you had meet Safin, imaging the knife that was uncomfortable close to your neck. The way he had sniffed your hair and his nickname, clever girl, rolled off of his tongue. In your apartment, you always thought Safin was going to be waiting for you at every corner.

All of your family and friends were overjoyed seeing your alive. Your poor mother and sister sobbed as they held you close and gave a thousand thanks to M16. In those months you were gone, everybody was sure that you had died or were killed in a horrible manner. Your mother didn’t even want to know what you had gone through. Her arms were wrapped tightly around your body as her tears stained your shoulder,

“Just stay with me. Please.” Her broken voiced cracked. “I can’t lose you again, y/n.”

That had marked the first time you ever cried in front of your coworkers. You knew it was unprofessional, but after months of captivity, you were even more damaged then you were before. Being inside of your own body and clothes made you painfully uncomfortable. You constantly took showers and changed your clothes because everything reminded you of Safin. No longer could you wear in a braid since you lay on Safin’s chest and he’d unravel the braid, running his fingers as you two walked. All of the dresses in your closet you threw out, just looking at them made you think of the night after that dinner where Safin requested a kiss.

Even if it wasn’t there, he haunted you every second.

Safin had been locked away in M16’s underground emergency headquarters. Nomi reported that he was under constant surveillance. He was polite to most of the guards, requesting a copy of a Brave New World. It was absolutely bizarre, but they gave it to him. They tried to force information of out him, but he wouldn’t budge. No reason why he kidnapped you, wanted control over post-soviet countries, or any of the sadistic actions he had done. Upon seeing Bond, M, or any agent, he would ridicule and tear them down. It turned out the woman he had previously loved was Madeleine. He had attempted to create a clone with his and Madeliene’s blood but failed. Nobody had a single idea of what he was capable of. Not even you knew what Safin held. But all M16 knew was that he was a classified global threat that was taken down by his own prisoner. His downfall had begun after his capture. The protests had been contained by goverments and other international spy agencies. M had promised that he would never ever step within a mile of your location.

It all seemed too normal to be true.

The month following your return, you decided to get back into the line of action two weeks after your arrival. Your mother had voted against it, but you needed it more than anything. Anything to get Safin out your mind. Your first day in office was full of questions from all of your co-workers.

“What did he do to you?”

“What was Safin’s lair like?”

‘What was under the mask?”

You could never respond with the truth. The nights were he had fucked you with his tongue down your throat; your neck decorated in red marks. How he had married the two of you and took you on expensive shopping trips. The only people who knew of the truth were Nomi, Bond, and M. That was all. It all seemed like a drug trip gone wrong. After your first week back, the questions had gone down. Moneypenny would come to your desk with a report, a smile on her clear skin. “Welcome back, C”. It made you smile, taking the report and typing away. Being back to your mundane life was going to get taking use to it. No longer would you have nights of true pleasure in your life ever again. But it was for the better. You were utterly damaged beyond belief, but hid in deep in your body. Your broken, crippled soul.

Q had been one of your closest acquaintances in M16. Upon first meeting him, a rivalry was sparked between you two. Q had been deemed the smartest person in M16. With you, a stubborn and young recruit, he shook in his shoes. You thought he hated you at first, but he stated that he considered you a “boon companion”. The man spoke with such large words. You told him to simply call you a “friend”, and that is where your friendship that slowly began to grow.  

You knew you weren’t suppose to tell him, but you did. Every single bit of it. He would come over to your apartment every night with Chinese Food, listening with his Miso Soup as you explained your experience on the island. Q wasn’t one for gossip and you trusted him with all of the information you had told him. Not only was he a colleague, but a confidant.

The ring was minimanlistic gold band with thin, dainty diamonds. It was easy to miss. Q looked at your hand, examining the ring.

“You’re married to him?”

You nodded in response. “I am. He had a whole ceremony, and a priest held at gunpoint. I’ve taken the ring off…”

“Regardless, your still...married to him.” Q had seen some bizarre events over the years, but this was truly baffling. One of his friends was forcefully married to the world’s most feared anarchist.

“Do you think I wanted to be? I can’t forget about him. He’s still there..”

“In solitary confinement. He’s being guarded twenty-four seven. Safin isn’t going to be leaving anytime soon.” Q attempted to console. He was horrible with emotions. “I checked every database I could and tried to find any ties connected to him, but nothing came up. If they do, I’ll make sure to alert you of them.”

Holding the ring in your fingers, you spun it around. A sigh escaped your mouth. “Q, I...can’t. He..we..”

“He took advantage of you. All of the threats he had made were meant to scare you. I know you tried to fight back. Everything you had gone through...I apologize.” Q said, a hint of guilt in his voice. “Day and night, I tracked for your location. We thought Spectre had taken you. Safin had made sure there was no trace of you. Months prior, he had been planning this. He was obsessed with you. Only If I had kn-”

“I’m here now. I’m not leaving.” You confirmed, trying to sound confident. Safin couldn’t hurt you anymore. He was locked away, never to be shown to the world again. “Thanks to your and your little trick, I got out.”

“A prisoner bringing down her captor. That is quite impressive, C.”

“And I’ll do it again.” You promised. Q nodded in response, a sly smile on your face. He grabbed his Sake and the two of your cheered, drinking your sorrows away. Q wasn’t one for words. Whenever he grabbed his Sake, it was a silent reminder that your secrets were safe with him. Always.

-----

It all started with your period. Even before meeting Safin, your period was becoming spottier and came at late dates. You shrugged it out and thought nothing of it. But after your arrival home, not only did your mental health decline but so did your pyshical wellbeing. It all started with your frequent mood swings at work and home, causing sleepless nights. Your doctor prescribed you with bipolar medication, but it never worked. All it did was make you more paranoid and sensitive.

Your period came late. It was spotty and faint, and had disappeared two days later. Your heart beat was increasing, you breasts became larger as they ached, and you felt nauseous without getting sick. Those had been the major symptoms.

It wasn’t until you had fainted infront during a presentation that Q had decided it was best for you to go to a doctor. He had noticed the bags under your eyes, fatigue, and slight change in weight.

Inside of the doctor’s office, you looked down, rapidly tapping your foot. What the hell was happening to you? Were you truly going insane. Everything hurt so much.

Q placed his hand on your thigh, making the shaking stop. Looking over at him, your face was full of worry.

“He’ll put you on stronger medication, C. Your going to be fine.”

As you wanted to respond, the doctor opened the door and shut it behind him, looking at the papers as he tilted his glasses down.

Sitting up, you look at him, eager for an answear.  Your expectations were low for anything major. “What is the issue, docter?”

Sorting out his papers, he answered, “From your test, it appears that your...pregnant.”

The shaking stopped. Your breathing become lower as everything became blurry and muffled. Everything was numb. This was the last thing that you needed. It had to be a false test. There was no way you could be holding his child. It wasn’t possible.

“No...No…” You managed to mutter. Q looked over at you, pity in his eyes. “Please, I can’t do this,”

The doctor looked down at you, understanding your distress. He knew about who the father could potentially be.

“I’m sorry, I am..” He gulped as he shook his head. It didn’t seem like what he was going to tell you was good news.

“Your five months pregnant, y/n. It’s too late for an abortion.”

Everything dropped around you. Looking at your stomach, you felt disguetd with yourself. Inside your stomach, you were carrying his child. Safin’s offspring. Inside of your stomach was a growing monster.

The doctor interrupted, trying to make the best out of a positive situation. He said that you could give the child up to adoption and that he knew plenty of parents that wanted a child. All you did was want to leave the godawful place. A few short minutes later you had left with Q. Q barely spoke a word, seeing the disallief on your face.

Getting into Q’s Landrover, you close the door, looking straight foward.

“Q?” You muttered, turning to him.

He looked back at you, awaiting for your response.”Yes?”

“Is the office still open?”

Q furrowed an eyebrow, perplexed. “Why do you want to go at such a late hour?”

You looked at your stomach before looking back at Q.

“I have unfinished business I need to attend to.”

-----

Q had begged for you to reconsider, but you ignored him. You were furious, hurt, and upset. Not only at yourself, but Safin. He would always whisper in your ear that you were “past the point of no return”. After months of speculation, you finally knew why. Even if he was imprisoned, Safin had to mark you to let the world know that you were his and only his. It was all some sick and twisted plan.

Walking down into the emergency room, you entered the room and saw him, locked away in a glass cell. Safin looked the same, except he wore an nude jumpsuit. It had been two months since you had last saw him. His last, cold whisper with heartbroken eyes as he was dragged away. A subtle smile appeared on his face as he put his book down.

“My dear y/n, you’ve finally come to visit.” He greeted. “I was beginning to miss you.”

“YOU FUCKING ARSEHOLE!” You screeched like a banshee. Attempting to bang on the glass cell doors, the guards help you back. “HOW DARE YOU!”

Safin raised one of his eyebrows, confused. He scalded y/n’s body, seeing the tired face and somewhat noticeable bump. She still looked like her beautiful self. But there was something rather off about her appearance. When on his island, y/n looked happier. Like she had been sleeping more, letting down his guard. But when she returned home, all of the happiness had evaporated from her body. Safin could’t hate the woman that betrayed him. After all, y/n was his wife.

“What you mean?” He queried. “Isn’t this what you wanted? Did’t you say you needed me?”

“Do you want this?” Safin panted, looking down at you. Seeing him on top of him, he’s truly a stunning man. His velvety voice was making you wet. Instead of sounding pissed off, he sounded calm and even caring.

“Shut up, please.” Your hand traveled to his cheek, gently patting it. “I-”

Two of his fingers enter your clitoris, causing you to bite your lip. It was a painful reaction at first, but then became pleasurable. You could no longer hide your pleasure and let out a small moan. “N-need it.”

“I never asked to be pregnant! Especially with this!”

Safin simply shook his head, perplexed to why you had been acting so angry about your pregnancy. You were going to become his wife, it was bound to happen. “I thought you would have learned sooner. I don’t see why you are so distressed, my love.”

“Don’t fucking my love me, Safin.” You snapped back as tears began to prick at your eyes. “You used all these threats against my work and family for me to obey your little commands. Face it, you took advantage of me.”

“Took advantage of? What are you speaking of, y/n?” Safin stood up from sitting and walked close to the glass to get a better look at you. “When I first saw you, I knew you were going to mine. My wife, my companion, my light, forever. That child inside of you is our creation. Can you imagine what he or she will do?”

“Your carrying one of the elites. I know this transformation is painful, but they will be beautiful and smart like there mother. They will carry on for me and you, build a new world. Just like we will do.” Safin calmly stated in his silkly accented voice. He seemed so confident and calm in his wording as if the situation had been totally normal. “If you try to give him up, I swear on my life that I will find the child and you again. SPECTRE will want that child more than anything else.”

“This child or SPECTRE will never know of your existence.” You maintained, trying not to go emotional. Safin could never his child for thousnads of reasons. The last thing you wanted was to have another Safin running around the world. “It will grow up fatherless. It cannot be exposed to such a monstrous man.”

The calm composure of Safin quickly changed. His expression became more scrunched as his hands clenched into fists. “He is my child too, y/n. We bleed the same blood. I demand to see him. It is only fair.”

Stepping back, you shaked your head. As long as you were alive, that child was going to be far away from Safin. “It’s only fair to the child that they grow up normal.”

“Normal?” Safin quietly muttered, before booming. “HE IS OUR CHILD, WOMAN? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN ME? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN MY WORK? THAT CHILD IS NOT A FOLLOWER, HE IS A LEADER! WHAT DO YOU NOT SEE?”

You jumped back, startled by this yelling. The guards had turned to him, pointing there guns. The last thing they needed was a riled Safin.

“I see everything. You are going to be locked in here, forever. Charged for your crimes agaisnt humanity, and Myself?” You explained as you looked at your stomach before meeting the eyes of your husband. “Will raise the child as my own. Be a mother and raise them to be the opposite of there father. We may be married, but I am not connected to you. I’m breaking all ties with you. You hurt me, manipulated me, used me. That’s not what love is. I have never, and will never love you, Safin. Goodbye.”

Safin looked heartbroken and betrayed, unable to respond to such a thing. For the first time in forever, he looked defeated. The anarchist was so happy to have you as his wife and an offspring to call his own, but his dreams had been crushed. His own wife didn’t love him and his child would never know who he is. Safin would never see the only person he truly loved ever again.

Spinning on your heel, you walked out of the room with Q behind you. Tears fell from your eyes as you stopped at and looked at the empty office with a hand on your face. Safin’s child was growing inside of you. You were far past the point of return now as you carried one of the most dangerous men in the world’s child. But it wasn’t just Safin’s child, it was your as well. You were going to be this child’s mother now, whether you liked it or not. If SPECTRE or anybody had found them, they would be killed on spot. You refused to let an innocent child go through such pain. Just because it had Safin’s blood didn’t mean it was a monster. Evil was not born, but made. It was your duty as a former solider and new mother to serve your country and family.

Your child may bleed Safin’s blood, but it will never become anything similar to his father under your eyes.

-----

THREE YEARS LATER

Louis was the best thing that had happened to you. When you first saw him, held him, you knew you loved him. The child would always cry and fuss in everybody else’s arms but yours. After your difficult birth, the nurses tried to comfort Louis but he simply wouldn’t stop crying. When the nurses had given him to you he had stopped crying and slept in your arms. Holding Louis, all of the pain and anxiety in the world had gone away. He was the light in your darkness.

Everybody who had met the child loved him. Your closest acquaintances at M16 such as Moneypenny and Q knew about Louis. Moneypenny always offered to babysit while Q would bring his cats to be Louis’s first friends. Bond and Nomi had given him the nickname “big man” and Madeleine, to your surprise, thought Louis was a sweetheart.

You’re first week as a mother wasn’t the most ideal. It was full of crying, confusion, and uncomfort. Whenever you looked at Louis, he reminded you of Safin. Everything about him made Safin upon your eyes. But you kept telling yourself that they were two separate people. Safin was locked away, never to see your child or you ever again. You were safe.

Three years had gone by fast. You were no longer a girl, but a woman. You still continued your job at M16 as usual; encrypting, decrytping, helping the double oh agents with there missions. Nothing had changed, except you were a mother.

Your work shifts had gotten shorter due to your commitment. Instead of working to four am, you were strictly prohibited (Moneypenny’s words) to only work to Nine. It didn’t seem ideal at first. But as the days had gone on, your highlight would come home to Louis, running to your legs and hugging them. It brought a true smile to your face. It was the first one you had felt that was genuine in years.

Unlocking the door and opening it, Louis had ran up to your legs, jumping up and down that you were home.

“Mama! Home!” He smiled. You picked him up as he kissed your face, and you responded back with kisses as well. Louis had a minor speech delay and could only piece together certain words. Everybody had found it adorable.

[Y/s/n] came up to you, crossing her arms. “Let mama walk in the door and breathe for five seconds, Lou.”

“It’s fine, [y/s/n]. He’s just excited.” You reassured. Placing Louis down, you rub his head as he runs back to building his lego. Needing a drink, [y/s/n] leads you to the kitchen to make you one drink to ease your nerves.”

“How was work?” She asked, grabbing the glasses as she worked her magic.

You shrugged in response, “Same old shit. Glad to be home though, I got two days off.”

“Really? I thought you never got work off.”

“Thought so too. My supervisor gave me the weekend off. He wanted me to relax.” You explained. [Y/s/n] handed you a drink and you too toasted before gulping them down.

“You can get a break from him, if you want.” You offered. It was your only time to spend with Louis alone. Your sister smiled at the idea.

She had a growing family and life of her own as well. “Really?”

“Yeah, I need some time with him. I just want him to know what I love him..”

“Y/n..” Your sister patted your shoulder. “He knows that. Remember when he was a baby and James tried to hold him, but he got kicked in the face? When’s he around you, he’s calm. He loves you more than anything in the world.”

“Your not even a mother, yet you’re so motherly.” You smirked.

She chuckled back in response. “He’s one of the [y/l/n]’s. It’s my duty to be his aunt.”

Louis ran into the kitchen, bored with his project. All he wanted to do was be with his mama. Running up your legs, Louis grabbed the pant and tugged on them. “Mama?”

“Yes, Lou?” You looked down, moving his unruly dark curls out of his beautiful bronze face. He had Safin’s beautiful bluish-green eyes that always shined. Although nothing like his father, Louis was the copy and paste of Safin.

“Storytime..please?” Louis begged with his puppy eyes.

“Of course..” You smiled. Louis ran off to his bedroom to wait patiently for his story.

Your sister looked and smiled at you. “He’s amazing..”

“I know. Everybody knows..”

-----

Louis hadn’t even gotten through the first few pages without falling asleep on your shoulder. As you read through Beauty And The Beast, his little snores stopped your sighing. Looking down at him, Louis was truly a beautiful little boy. He had dark curly brown hair, bronzed olive skin, big bluish-green eyes, and chubby cheeks. You had gotten used to the fact that Louis was identical to Safin. He shared his blood, but Louis and Safin were two different people. Safin was a broken and misunderstood Anarchist while Louis was a sweet, little boy.

As hard as it was to believe, Safin was once a young childhood who didn’t know anybody better. His innocence had been stripped away from him at a young age, scarring him permanently with internal and external wounds.

You should hate him for he had done to you. What he had done to the world and the pain. But yet, a small part of you missed him.

You missed the way Safin gave you what no other man could give you. How he treated you not only with true obsessive love but spoiled you with endless gifts and kisses. How his fingers would play with your hair, his sweet nicknames, how he promised to kill and die for you. Safin worshipped you like a god. When he had kidnapped you, at first you hated him more than anything in the world. But as time had gone on and he became more vulnerable, you began to fall for him. You were a scared beauty who fell for the broken beast.

What if M16 had never come for you? Safin would have been your husband, whether you liked it not. Louis would have to grow up with Safin’s influences, trapped in a Submarine Pen. You didn’t want to imagine what Safin wanted with your child. What he would use it for in his sick game of Anarchy and Discord. Just the thought of Safin made you happy, sad, and confused. You pulled Louis close and stroked his curls, wanting to protect him. Maybe you should have slept with him to make sure he was safe.

Safin was locked away. He wouldn’t hurt you again.

Why did you miss someone you hated so much?

After taking off your prosthetic and rolling into your bed, you throw the covers over your cold body. Your whole life you had always felt alone. Connections were hard for you to make, no matter how hard you tried. In your thirty two years of life, you had always felt disconnected from the world. Something had to be wrong with you. The bed was big enough for two people, but there was only one person. As you make yourself comfortable, you notice a burning candle on the nightstand. It makes you think back to that night in Greece, with Safin’s hands travelling over your body as he passioantly made love to you. Safin wasn’t a man you had met everyday. He was an Anarchist who happened to be obsessed with you and your legal husband. The ring was still on your finger to this day. Looking at it made you subtly smile to yourself. Why were you so happy about him? Safin was unpredictable. One minute you symathized for him, wanted him, or hated him.

But then you realized it.

Safin’s love for you was unhealthy. He had stalked your whole life and pre planned your kidnapping to be his bride. You had thought you were going to be used a bargaining trip, but it was the total opposite. The more you learned (and obsered) Safin, you realized that he was human as well. He was a lonely evil man who yearned for love. The love he had experience was eithier negative or nothing. Upon seeing you, Safin wanted you, but didn’t know how to win you over. He made you a garden, gave you expensive items, a bedroom instead of a cell, yet you refused to love him. It wasn’t until Greece where you began to slighlty sympathieze with him. It would never justify his actions. When you had fucked, all you needed was a distraction. Both of you had been touchstarved. When that occurred, Safin had assumed you were in love. He did whatever he took for you to love him, even if it meant killing for freinds and family or forcing you into a loveless marriage.

It was for the better that Safin was locked away in a glass cell for the rest of his days. You and Louis could try to live a somewhat normal life. You would never experience a true connection again. But it was okay with you. If you could most of your life being confused and yearning, then you could do it for as long as you lived. Louis was the only reason you were going on with life. His smile and how his eyes twinkled in the light made you cry; he was truly a star.

You would never admit it to anyone, not even your cloest friends or family, but a small part of you did truly love Safin. You wanted to help him, but he was far past the point of the return. It was better if he was out of your life.

Looking into the burning candle, your eyes begin to flutter shut. You suddenly feel warm again, like your being held and watched over. It always felt like you were never alone. Safin was a lingering phantom that intrigued and haunted you. He was always watching you.

And yet, a small part of you truly loved Safin.

[serendipitous-magic]

Question Game - AKA Oversharing Hour

I was tagged by @the-angry-pixie​! And I’m a chronic oversharer, so this was fun. I’ll put most of it under a read more line because there’s a LOT.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? 

Black. Dunno why.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? 

City city city city city city city city. I’m already going fucking batshit as it is, trapped in suburbia. I want to be able to actually do things, anything. Anything other than just being around the house and / or work. (And I felt like this before the pandemic started.) If you live in the city you can walk out your door and be somewhere else within like 5 minutes. A city park, a cafe, a train/subway, a local attraction, a museum, an artist’s booth, an outdoor market, etc. etc. 

Living in suburbia is like, well, to go literally anywhere you have to get into your car first and drive like 10 minutes minimum to get out of the neighborhood, and then if you want to go anywhere that’s not the grocery store you have to drive 20 minutes to get to another area of town, and then once you get there that’s the only place you can be without getting into your car again and getting a nice shot of anxiety from having to drive in traffic and have aggressive drivers roar up on your ass because you’re going 5mph above the speed limit and they want to be going 15mph above, and god help you if you have to merge, and oh by the way this is your only option to get around because public transit doesn’t really exist in any useful way in Big Suburbia, and nothing in within walking distance of your house except like 2 playgrounds and maybe one (1) gas station. (I hate it here lmao)

If I was trapped in the country I’d probably be chill with it for about a week, and enjoy the break, and the on day 8 I’d snap and go on a murdering spree out of stir-craziness.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? 

I want to learn German and eventually be fluent in it. But since I’ve already started trying to learn and I don’t know if that counts, I’ll say cinematography. As in the actual working of the camera and lighting and all that. I can dream up some pretty striking images but actually getting the camera to do the settings needed to capture them is another story entirely.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? 

Nope. I drink coffee and tea both, and I don’t put any kind of sweetener in either of them. I used to put a shitton of sugar in my coffee and honey in my tea, and then I had some mild eating disorder struggles in college and I never got back in the habit of putting stuff in my hot drinks after that. It just tastes wrong now, after being used to plain black coffee.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? 

Either the Harry Potter series or The Hobbit. My grandma would take care of me a lot when I was really little because my parents both worked full time to support us, and every single time I was at her house she’d sit us down at the dining room table and read something to me. Not Junie B. Jones or anything, either, but real, big, thick books. I loved the shit out of Harry Potter and The Hobbit; I would request them repeatedly. We pretty much went back and forth; we’d read Harry Potter, and then The Hobbit, and then when a new Harry Potter book came out we’d read that, and then The Hobbit again, and so on and so forth.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? 

Showers. I love baths, they’re magical, but ain’t nobody got time for that unless it’s a special occasion. I got too much shit to do to spend an hour lying in the bathtub.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? 

Vampire. Purely on the basis that if I was immortal maybe I’d finally have time to get my to-do list done and accomplish things. I’d miss the sunlight though.

8. Paper or electronic books? 

Paper. Here’s the thing, I really want to enjoy ebooks, but they just don’t hold my attention at all. Maybe I’m too conditioned by the internet to have a short attention span when I’m looking at a screen, idk.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? 

I have a dark gray hoodie from the Seattle Aquarium from when I went on a road trip across America with my BFF a few years ago. It’s still my absolute favorite thing. I also enjoy my hiking boots a lot. (I wear them all the time, really they should just be called “everyday boots” haha)

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it?

I like my name and I would also like to start going by something different. Probably just because I’m a restless soul and I feel the best (and least trapped) when I’m on the move or when things are changing. The second I get somewhere I want to be somewhere else. That’s just how I am. Gwen is a cool name (I’ve personally met maybe 3 people in my whole life with the same name, face-to-face), but there’s a lot attached to that nickname that I don’t necessarily want to carry with me when I eventually escape my hometown and start down a new path.

11. Who is a mentor to you? 

A friend and former professor whom I usually refer to online as Producer Man. He’s a producer (as you may have guessed) who kind of took me under his wing after I was in one of his film classes in college. We work together on film projects now and he’s teaching me bit-by-bit (usually by way of long, rambling, tangential stories / lectures) about the industry. He’s a really good guy. Like, he for sure has a case of Old White Guy sometimes, but his heart is absolutely in the right place. “He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit.” He’s always leaving $10 tips at coffee places and working himself to the bone to get his students connected to jobs and internships that will help them with their careers. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? 

Yes, my stories. Actually, “famous” is not the right word. It’s just that fame is so tightly associated with success in our society. I want to be successful. Whether I’m widely known or not is pretty inconsequential to me. I want to make stories and I want them to have an impact. Books, film, etc. It’s about as simple as that.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? 

Oh yeah. I have trouble  sleeping as much as I should because I usually kind of jerk awake in the morning with this vague feeling that I forgot something or that I’m late for something. Also I stay up later than I should because I’m a night owl, and yet I like being up early because early mornings are great. And usually if I dream at all it’s something kind of stressful, like I dream that I forgot something important or did something wrong. I’m a Stressed Bean. 

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? 

I think so, yeah. I’m pretty obsessed with the idea of romance (I mean look at my OTPs), but heteronormativity got me fucked up enough that I’m bad at actually navigating real romantic feelings or relationships because society never prepared me for The Gay.

15. Which element best represents you? 

Fire, probably.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? 

My mom. We fight a lot and there tends to be a lot of tension between us. It’s a long complicated story. It boils down to, she really hurt me when I came out as not-straight at 15 and she lost all of my trust and even though she’s working on being less homophobic we’re still kind of trying to repair that divide seven years later.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? 

Dude, I miss everyone. I’m an introvert and I’d love to be at a big party right now. I miss socialization. (As does everyone.) 

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. 

The first time I experienced deja vu, I was about eehhh 6? And I legitimately believed, for several years of my life, that I had future-predicting abilities. Like, supernatural-level future-predicting abilities. Because I didn’t really know what deja vu was, so I thought, every time it happened, that I had already ~seen~ that moment in my dreams or something. 🤣

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? 

Hm. (My immature ass brain yells “DICK.” No, brain. Those were dark heteronormative times. Also, grow up.) 

Probably some of the sushi in Seattle. I actually love sushi, it’s just that when it has full-on legs and eyeballs I start getting a little squeamish. I like the rolls and the kind where there’s some fish meat laid out on a nice little bed of rice, that’s delicious. But when they brought out the whole shrimp with legs still attached, I was like “How in the (redacted) am I going to chew / swallow that.”

20. What are you most thankful for? 

That I happened to be living with family when this pandemic hit. I was supposed to move out (and across the country, actually) as of... like 4 days ago, as it happens. That was the plan. Plane ticket was gonna be booked for 7/15/20. Obviously, things didn’t quite work out that way, because of the pandemic and a few other reasons. But I can’t imagine if I had been in an apartment living with roommates, or in an apartment on my own struggling to get by, when this happened. A lot of people couldn’t pay rent and lost their homes. I was very, very lucky to be where I was, when I was, and very lucky that I have family who let me stay in their house pretty much indefinitely while this clusterfuck of a year happens.

21. Do you like spicy food? 

Yes! I looooove spicy thai food especially. I miss the massaman curry from a local Thai place so much 😭

22. Have you ever met someone famous? 

Um. Maybe? I met Veronica Roth once at an author talk in the library where I work, although it was before I worked there. And I met some guy from New Zealand who’s famous for his sword fighting skills because my dad does sword fighting stuff. Don’t remember his name though.

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? 

Yep. I have to write down everything or I forget. (I often say I have the memory of a goldfish.) Also, I have this compulsion to record and preserve my experiences in life, because I feel like our time on Earth is so fleeting and if I don’t write down what’s important to me, I’ll forget it and lose it.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? 

Pen. Pencil gets smudged.

25. What is your star sign? 

Scorpio, which is ironic because they’re supposed to be ~hyper sexual~ I guess, and I’m like gray-ace or something in that zone.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? 

Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal? Are you okay? Do you need help? This is an intervention. 

27. What would you want your legacy to be? 

My stories. Life and sentience, as we experience it, is made up of just that: experience. And I read somewhere that, on some level, the human brain doesn’t differentiate that much between real life experiences and fictional experiences. I think that’s true. If you read or watch or hear the right story, it can really touch you and change the way you see life, or even change the way you live life. Stories have an incredible amount of power, both in individual people’s lives and in larger society. A huge amount of power. I want to be able to give people experiences that will Enrich Their Lives (do I sound like a lifestyle coach yet? 🤦🏼‍♀️), but also stories that actively do good in society. Positive representation, body positivity/neutrality, diversity, healthy relationships (Hollywood has a real problem with that). Hope. It’s the best thing I can think to give society, and storytelling is what I love to do.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? 

I love reading. I wish I did it more. Part of my problem is that I get caught up in the hectic Rat Race of modern society and I never feel like I have time to sit down with a book for hours. Another problem of mine is that I start too many things at once, meaning I currently have like 5-10 (I lost count) books that I started reading, and I want to finish all of them, which means no progress ever gets done on any of them.

I last finished The Goldfinch, and I am currently working on The Secret History, Good Omens, Dune, a book my dad wrote, Directing Actors, Shot by Shot, The Way of Kings and I forget what else.

29. How do you show someone you love them? 

Physical affection, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts, in that order. If I’m close to someone, whether romantically or not, I want all the affection. And I’m kind of dying in quarantine. 

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? 

Depends. I usually don’t put any in, because it’s just gonna water down the drink and get in the way of drinking it (you know when the ice attacks your face?), but I don’t really mind ice in my drinks.

31. What are you afraid of? 

Helplessness. I Have Control Issues. ✌️ Also stagnation.

32. What is your favourite scent? 

Amber. Or any scent that’s kind of autumn-y. You know what I mean. Some other examples include dryer sheets, wood smoke, cigarette smoke (my big sister used to smoke a long long time ago, and although I never saw her do it, I still associate the scent with her), pine resin, rain, that Mahogany Woods scent from Bath and Bodyworks.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? 

If they introduce themselves as Pam I call them Pam. If they introduce themselves as Mr. Brown I call them Mr. Brown.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? 

 If “money is not a factor” means I have an infinite amount of money to spend as I wish, then: buy land, build film studio complex on land, found company, hire fellow creatives, make movies.

If “money is not a factor” just means that I don’t have to work 40 hours a week to afford rent, then: move to Chicago, rent a nice studio apartment, write stories, maybe work 15 hours a week at a used bookstore or coffee shop to get me out of the house and socialize. Go to museums, go to the park, walk along Lake Michigan, go to gay bars, ride the train, brave the Illinois winters, own a cat, paint, play guitar. Build my actual career on writing / storytelling. Probably also do some filmmaking.

Alternatively: buy an RV (not like an American Trailer Park shitty RV, I’m talking the NOICE ones), buy good film equipment, be a freelancer, live in RV driving around to wherever the next filming location is. Life is a road trip and I’m doing what I love. Writing, storytelling, filmmaking. My home would travel with me. Writing in cafes; roadside attractions; early mornings on the road with coffee in the cup holder as the sun comes up; being able to go anywhere to film; always experiencing something new.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? 

I’ve lived in a landlocked state my whole life, so I guess swimming pools. And, listen, I CANNOT get water in my mouth at the beach without wondering exactly how many kids have peed (or worse) in that water. (I know that’s a thing with pools too, but pools get cleaned.)

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? 

Wonder what some poor European is doing in America right now. But if it was $50, I’d probably yell “DID ANYONE DROP THIS?” and then take it if no one speaks up.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? 

A few times, yeah.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? 

Grades are not the end-all-be-all. Skip some homework assignments to spend time with friends. Skip class sometimes. I’m serious. If you make school your top priority, even over your own personal life, you will come away with good grades and a lot of regret and missed opportunities. Learning is HELLA important, and very very little of it happens inside a school building. Get a 15 hour weekend or after-school job in high school, befriend your coworkers, and have fun with it. Use your paychecks however you want. Join a school club - one that you’re actually interested in. Do stupid shit. Light your textbooks on fire after graduation or go to the 24 hour Wendy’s at 2am with your friends or kiss that person you met at summer camp or sleep on the porch because it’s too hot to sleep inside. Be smart and safe, but follow your whims. If you let yourself fall into routine, apathy will poison you.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? 

I already have a couple small ones, but the one I want next is a four-leaf clover. Don’t know where. Maybe my right inner wrist or maybe an ankle. Or like behind my ear. Luck has saved me so many times. (See above, with how I happened to be living with family when COVID hit.)

40. What can you hear now? 

Swamp cooler downstairs, the clock ticking in my office, cars outside, people moving around the house. I’m surprised the neighbor kids aren’t shrieking their absolute heads off as per the usual. 

41. Where do you feel the safest? 

When I’m alone and unobserved. 

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? 

TMI warning, but I absolutely despise public bathrooms. How am I expected to pee when there’s somebody sitting like three (3) feet away, with only a partial wall between us, hearing everything that’s going on? My fight or flight response simply will not allow it. It’s too awkward and therefore Not Safe. Either that public restroom has to be empty except for me, or it has to be so loud and bustling that ain’t nobody hearing anything. Anything in-between and I’m in hell.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? 

The ‘80s. Let’s be honest, even that far back makes my life (as a woman, and as a gay person) hella difficult. But, consider this: it’s the ‘80s. Furthermore, consider this: a part-time job might have actually supported me and paid rent back then 😱 Holy fucking shit. Sign me up. I just wouldn’t want to go any further than than like 1980, because again: lesbian. Being a woman in the past = even harder than it is today, being gay in the past = even harder than it is today, being a gay woman in the past = oh no.

44. What is your most used emoji? 

In order of descending frequency:

😂🙄😊😁🤦🏼‍♀️👀😬🌈🤷🏼‍♀️😙

45. Describe yourself using one word. 

Creative

46. What do you regret the most?

Wasting my entire teenage experience. (See #38.) I did quite literally nothing with my life except homework for like 18 years. If I had taken even a tenth as much time for myself as I did for school, I would be so much farther along as a person today.

47. Last movie you saw? 

In the theaters? ........ uh. Shit, I don’t actually remember. It’s been like 5 months. (As it has for everyone.) But the last movie I watched was Lights Out, because I’ve been watching the director’s youtube channel. You could tell it was low-budget and that the director was still kind of finding his stride, but it had a lot of heart behind it and the creators clearly gave a fuck, which made it enjoyable. I am firmly in the camp of “not everything has to be a Magnum Opus or have a multi-billion dollar budget to be a good movie.” If I engaged with it and got some sort of emotional experience out of it, and if it had a good message, I consider it a good movie.

48. Last tv show you watched? 

I don’t usually watch a whole lot of TV shows (who has the time?) but I think the last thing I watched was either The Witcher or that new Unsolved Mysteries miniseries on Netflix. Oh and I was watching Dead to Me because I just love Linda Cardellini’s face and I want to wrap Judy up in a blanket and cuddle the shit out of her and protect her from all things 🥺 My precious beautiful unstable sweet murder baby.

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. 

Apapanic. It’s where you’re so stressed about things that half of your brain is panicking but the other half is so overwhelmed that it circled all the way back around to being calm to the point of apathy, so you just kind of sit there like

[pitiless-achilles-wept]

Always Waiting: The Cost of Never Being Done

Hi all,

I kept waiting for a time when I felt like I had time and energy to write and...surprise! It turns out that's not just around the corner when you have a chronic illness and are still working full time (not to mention trying to keep up a social life and maintain all your relationships). But I figure some information is better than none at all, so I'll get through what I can. 

You all remember (I think) that I went to Dana-Farber after my December CT scans showed significant growth of my primary tumor despite the metastatic sites holding steady. I came out of that meeting with two recommendations for clinical trials. One--my top pick--was being run out of Massachusetts General Hospital and Dana-Farber and involved an antibody-drug conjugate (IMMU-132) that has been shown to be super effective for triple-negative breast cancer but which got held up at the FDA approval stage. Doctors are pretty frustrated that the approval is still pending and that the only way to use it is on a trial, but there's hope that it might get approved in the next 6-9 months. The other is being run out of UPenn by the same doctor whose study I was on before and who I really like. It looks at the effect of chemo + an immunological agent vs. just chemo.

There were several reasons to prefer the MGH study (even though it would have necessitated traveling to Boston during the coldest months of the year), among them that I wouldn't have to endure chemotherapy as part of the trial. And it looked for a while as though I was going to be able to join it. It wasn't actively enrolling but there was a spot. I waited, in the days right before Christmas, to hear. And my doctors all worked hard, calling the PI and discussing the option of enrollment at either location. But it didn't work out. Another patient made exactly the same call I would have made--and I cannot fault them for that--and I am several places down on the waiting list. Spots open up when people leave the study, so presumably when their disease worsens or a better treatment option opens up. It only happens every couple of months. Doing the math, it seemed more likely that the drug would get approved by the FDA than that I would get to enroll.

I was pretty angry. And it was hard because there was no single person to be angry at. Not at my doctors, all of whom knew my preference, did all they could, and gave sincere apologies when it didn't work out. And not at the other patient who took the chance that I so hoped I'd be given. If anything, I was angry at the FDA for not approving the drug faster, or at whoever was funding the study for not allowing there to be more than 68 patients on it at any given time. The fact that groundbreaking, life-saving medical research is also a business constantly makes me angry. Sometimes it works in my favor (IMMU-132 will likely get fast-tracked on its second go through the FDA because someone will make money) and sometimes it doesn't (why fund more spots than you need on a clinical trial just because people want to be in it?).

So then there was more waiting. So much of having Stage 4 cancer is a waiting game. Waiting for promising new research directions. Waiting for that research to get funded. Waiting for those studies to enroll and complete. Waiting for FDA approval. Waiting for insurance approval. And, the biggest one by far, waiting to see if it works.

I was home for the holidays, not meant to see an oncologist until mid-January. A third option was proposed, which was staying on the study I had been doing with the PARP inhibitors but first doing a short course of radiation on the breast tumor. When I got home at New Year's I booked in to a radiology consultation, even though I felt a suspicion that it wasn't the best option. (Several oncologists told me that if the PARP inhibitors had stopped working on the initial tumor it was only a matter of time--and likely not much of it--before they stopped working on the metastatic sites too.) After spending nearly an hour with yet another very helpful doctor who had studied the whole history of my case (and a little bit of my research, once I told him what to Google) I saw that I was right. A tumor this size, he said, would only benefit from a pretty lengthy radiation course and we only had a grace period of 2 weeks for me to get back on the PARP study. He reminded me that it would be an option later and wishes me luck.

I'd like to pause here to do something I haven't done before and ask you all a favor. I understand exactly why this happens but please, to help me out, don't ask anymore about why I am not (yet) having surgery or radiation on the tumor. Yes, the primary tumor is the biggest and nastiest and pains me every day. You can be sure I'm also asking that question of my doctors, not only when there's a treatment change but when I tell them that it's hurting me. I know that it seems simplest to just cut it out (even if this means altering my body in a way that I am not eager to do) or try to shrink it. And I know that's why people ask. All the time. ALL the time. Unfortunately, it leaves me feeling defensive--do they not know that I have thought of this option every single day as I carry around the painful, swollen weight of a 6cm tumor?--and like I have to justify my decision. I imagine one or both those things will happen immediately. I have many (medical) reasons for not doing them yet. When I decide to do them, you will know and I will tell you more about why. But it would make me feel a lot better if I knew people weren't going to keep asking. Thank you.

Ok, back to what happened one I decided that radiation was out. Essentially, last week I officially consented to the study that's at Penn and that involves chemo. My first session will be on January 30th. I'll be going every 3 weeks. The agent I'm receiving is one of the oldest (carboplatin) and will be given in a higher dosage than when I went every week. This means it's likely to make me sicker. (The doctors did say that I'd feel worst on days 2-5 and better as the cycle wore on.) No one told me that people tolerate this one especially well and, having been so relatively lucky with side effects before, my worst-case-scenario brain assumes my luck will now be bad and that I will really struggle, lose all my hair, not be able to work, etc. Unhelpfully, although they can speak in averages, no one can predict how anyone will react to chemo. So just...wait. As usual.

To join the study, of course, there are a great many hoops all of which involve trips to Philly. I had a biopsy yesterday (Wednesday) and am spending tomorrow (Friday) getting CT and bone scans. There was an ongoing fight with my insurance company today when I got a phone call first thing in the morning telling me that they had canceled tomorrow's CTs because I didn't have authorization. Without authorization, no CT. Without a CT, no joining the study. Without joining the study, no starting chemo on time (lots of rearranging of my work and ride/support schedule). Lucky for me, my doctor's office was the one to do the calling and arguing. But it's frankly absurd to deny authorization for a CT scan to a documented Stage 4 cancer patient. I cannot even imagine what further information they would need for that one. And if I hadn't been joining a trial there would have been no rush and, likely, I would have been the one calling. The amount of admin involved in being chronically ill is frankly staggering. The end result, luckily, is that I am going in tomorrow.

And that's why I must get to bed. I know I make it sound like swinging by the hospital for a biopsy is no big deal - it's an outpatient procedure with only local anesthetic! I ate Shake Shack afterwards and went to work today! But, in fact, it's stressful to the body as well as the spirit to be on an operating table, numbed up with local anesthetic, and pierced in the lymph node or breast by an ultrasound-guided needle ten times (because you are doing so many studies and they all need research samples). The scans tomorrow will be easier - all I have to do is not eat beforehand, drink barium, lie in an x-ray contraption while having contrast dye injected through the port that's plumbed into my artery...then take a break before being injected with a radioactive tracer that will infuse my bones for a couple hours until I lie perfectly still and have them imaged. Easy, right?

I like to say that this stuff is no big deal--that it's just a lot of waiting in different places. And that's true, to an extent. The CTs don't hurt and they aren't physically demanding (although I'm not great at drinking that much barium milkshake that fast). The bone scan is kind of cool and I plan to wear my "Biohazard" t-shirt. But my normalization of the massive apparatus surrounding being ill and my incorporation of it into my everyday life does, I think, minimize the physical as well as emotional toll I pay each time I have a test or treatment. Not only are those reminders of the insidious disease that has taken so much of my life from my control--I'm not even thinking about that consciously most of the time--it's just all so relentless. There's always another call to make, appointment to keep, symptom to track, bill to pay, person to text or call. I am never, ever done.

On that last item, I do often feel burdened with guilt. I want support, but don't feel that I can always pay it back in the form of updates or thanks to those who so generously give it. But I do hope you all know that I'm here, appreciating each and every piece of it that I get. Social media may not be great for some things but it is wonderful for the small kindnesses that can buoy me up on a tougher day. This has been one, so I'm off to bed. But I send you gratitude and love.

Bex

[saint-patrice]

“Tbh I would like to have the 34 *other* Bergy pics on your shortlist, complete with commentary lolol. And then (if you’re still waiting that is) any other Marchy pics with commentary? xD xD” 

here are some more of my favourite marchy pics, complete with my bizarre personal commentary, for anon! the 34 bergy pics can be found here also!

Note: a few people have said they like these posts, so i’m up for taking people’s requests if there’s a particular player they’d like to see! inbox is always open (and anon is on) so just drop me your request and i’ll get working on it :)

okay so this is some absolutely premium cute marchy!! the smile that manages to be completely self-confident yet in no way cocky? the polite little wave as he surveys his audience who, if i recall correctly, were booing him heavily?? oh i do love you mr rat. marchy is fantastic and i have so much respect for the way he deals with his reputation across the league and the excessive amount of shit he gets.he knows what people think of him yet doesn’t seem to let it get to him. i have so much love for him.

KATRINA IS LEGENDARY. before moving on to the part of the image that gave me whiplash when i first saw it, we’re back to talking about brad’s smile. i think i said it in my last post but he really is one of those people who smiles with their whole face - even if you just saw his eyes in this photo you can immediately tell that he’s got that little grin on his face and that’s adorable tbh. now onto the d*lf mug (censored bc i fear the dodgy underground porn blogs these days)… i don’t even know where to start. i feel like he very proudly bought it for himself. and it’s like the only mug he ever wants to drink out of. just my take. i also think the longer hair really suits marchy ngl

ahhh the boys and their dirtbag christmas suits 💛 highlights of this image are the suit jacket that is definitely just one size too small for this absolute man rocket, and the pants with “FRAGILE” plastered all over them - very relatable if not at all festive.

gay rights are stored in the rat!!! i’m glad marchy has been pretty open about his support of LGBT stuff, particularly within hockey. also i feel like some of the stuff he’s said in interviews or social media (esp re: lickgate) manages, even if not intentionally, to be quite diminutive towards implicit homophobia or ‘toxic masculinity’ within hockey. okay maybe that that was poorly expressed but basically he just doesn’t give a shit and appears very open and accepting and i think that’s super nice. this picture also makes for a good reaction image when someone says something dumb

short kings love.jpeg !! a wonderful example of the love that brad shows his teammates on a regular basis, despite his constant chirping. i have no real opinions on torey krug (no h8, i just don’t think i’ve seen that much of him off ice so idk) but him and marchy are quite the duo tbh, i live for their back and forths on twitter - more on that later - and they seem to love each other an awful lot, it’s v cute :^)

that’s my pest™. honestly i think lickgate is one of the best scandals in recent hockey history. when looking for a good image of this is saw an article where some dipshit reporter was outraged about it and was like “how would you feel if someone just came up and liked you?” i mean what if someone just came up and started punching you or hip-checked you into the wall????? hockey is a nasty game a lot of the time, and instead of giving people concussions or broken bones (not that he hasn’t in the past ik…) marchy managed to make opposing teams just as angry, if not moreso, just by licking players. i think it’s fucking hilarious. and most of them took it well in hindsight anyway - i think it was komarov who said he kinda liked it lmaoooooo. peak bradley kevin antics if you  ask me

every pic from the china trip has such a special place in my heart. this is just an all-round adorable photo and brad is looking gorgeous in the sunlight and his backwards cap

brad waving the towel in surrender is just about the funniest thing i’ve ever seen someone do in the penalty box… i can’t believe they gave him a 10 minute misconduct for it, something i think they’d wouldn’t have done if it had have been someone else. at least someone in this league has a goddamn sense of humour. the penalty minutes stat in the corner just makes this even better

brad, once again, showing us how we should deal with people talking shit about us - just get on board with it. i love how much he’s just embraced his massive nose and his height and his general reputation. idk if it’s really deliberate but i think it’s such a good message to send, and it makes for some pretty funny stuff too.

brad single-handedly keeps nhl refs in a job. in my bruins drinking game™ you have to take a shot every time the ref has to physically restrain marchy (2 if it’s because he was going to get revenge or fend for bergy) and you could get fucked off that alone during some games. it was nice to see him not actually get suspended this year, but i will always love that he’s such a physical player and quite the pest on the ice :))

me: *slaps helmet of brad marchand* this bad boy can fit so much personality.

really though, can you believe he’s managed to squeeze more charisma into only 5 feet and 9 inches than 85% of the league combined… very cute picture, and always lovely to see him by bergy’s side on the ice where he belongs

oh my goddddddd how fucking cute is this though!!!! the hat! the dad energy those jeans and the boots give off!!! his face!! his little daughter!!!!! i can’t take it, my heart is going to burst.

(gif via @kureally) this is also just so cute, i need a minute. brad has some very powerful eyebrows and this gif displays them wonderfully. this section of behind the b was also pretty sweet all round, and i agree with pasta that the hair is looking pretty first class

(gif via @murlin09) i am not like into marchy (no tea no shade if u are though), but this gif… whew. i’ll let you come to your own conclusions on this one, gang

i was not lying when i said more on the brad-torey social media antics earlier. there are some truly iconic chirps (the zamboni one is lethal), but this self-roast just kills me every time. i never once thought i’d read a tweet from the official brad marchand twitter account that opened with “hey shorty” but here we are. “my nose wouldn’t fit” i astral projected the first time i read that. and if you’re wondering what torey said to prompt this, it was simply “hey marchy”. it doesn’t take much for brad to light on you, huh? we better watch our backs

definitely a favourite marcheron pic right here - the pucks and paddles (i still think that’s a questionable name but maybe that’s a me issue) content is always top notch. if you can find the video, it’s even better, but this picture captures the general energy of the video perfectly. the only thing missing is that brad’s feet aren’t actually on the floor because the height difference is so pronounced that bergy has to lift him. beautiful

return of the cute brad smile!! a cute yet mischievous little grin, i can only assume he’s restraining himself from laughing at m*tthews fivehead (although who is he to talk with that schnozz. at least he rocks it tbf 👃🏻). not sure blue is really his colour but he’s going for it anyway. that’s my all star!

it’s been days since this photo first surfaced and i haven’t stopped palpitating. the cutest photo ever, they all look so happy and i love that!!! also how are their wives so beautiful….!? oh my every pixel of this image is just stunning

i know i included this in my last bergy list but if they can name new york twice i think i can put this on 2 lists, because lord knows it’s even more iconic. i feel like this is a good metaphor for brad marchand: getting up to no good, although still relatively harmless, all the while supported by the considerably more sensible, yet still entertaining, patrice bergeron. additionally, another excellent display of the oft-overlooked fact that this man is built like a motherfucking tank. holy shit

i wish i could see these boys in suits without my brain immediately trying to think of some sort of au. anyway, i really like this look on brad (unpopular opinion - i love his loud checkered suits as a concept but i don’t think they look good). although he has dark hair, strong eyebrows, and dark facial hai, the all black actually looks really good on him. coffee in hand really adding to the look too - well done, brad “fashionista” marchand.

ahhhhh i love nothing more than family man marchy 💛 his daughter is adorable - those tiny jerseys kill me - and i love that his son is wearing the all-star jersey omg how cute (he is definitely going to end up taller than brad lmao)

sometimes i forget that brad is short and then i see photos like this (brandon is 6′5 for reference)…amazing. i relate to the lady on the left on a spiritual level. brad’s face is a mood and a half. his feet are half a foot of the ice at least. i adore this photo.

(gif via @brandoncarlo) absolutely one of my fav things about watching bruins games is how brad and patrice will always find each other during a celly - nothing beats the 100 hug. this is also just a very satisfying skating gif that i love.

last but very very very far from least is this. there is literally no need for me to make any comment on this so i’m just going to leave it and go. bradley kevin marchand you are iconic and ily

ayyy this was super fun to do, thank you for requesting it anon, i hope you like!! again, i’m absolutely up for taking requests for more of these lists so hmu if you have ideas :) 

[seafoamchild]

the decade is ending. i guess i’ll use this milestone in time to reflect about the past ten years. i was 15 when the decade started and i will be 25 when it ends. so much growth has happened and i’m honestly so proud of myself. i graduated high school and college, visited 24 countries, started countless new jobs and moved so many times. the emotional growth has been torturous but so amazing in the end. 

half of high school happened. i was so ugly, insecure, and shy, and i had no idea how to fit in. i was good at school but i remember feeling perceived as having “no personality” because i was so quiet. i had awful skin and no clue how to dress well, or how to do my hair or fix my eyebrows. i lived mostly within my imagination and i spent so many hours on tumblr and polyvore and 8tracks, collecting pretty images and music and dreaming up escapist fantasies. i was such a dreamy, poetic girl with all these artistic hobbies but i could not for the life of me fit in at school and i thought boys would never, ever like me. i did cross country and track and that was the closest i came to feeling a sense of belonging. during the summers i went on a rafting trip in utah and discovered people actually thought i was funny, and i went to france and discovered i was very good at foreign languages. i guess during the second half of high school i developed my tastes in music and books and art, i got pretty into fitness and running, and by the end of high school i finally found my real friends, even though i went in and out of severe bouts of depression which prevented me from feeling like i belonged in the group. 

after high school i had no interest in going to college, but i felt the pressure from my school and my parents. i compromised by taking a semester off to go to bolivia and peru. this was such a highlight of my life. i felt for the first time like i belonged, truly. people liked me, people thought i was funny. nothing could get my spirits down. i absolutely loved roughing it - living out of a backpack, hiking in the mountains, learning spanish, playing cards to pass the time because we didn’t even have cell phones. i can’t even describe how much i loved the three months i spent in south america. i think fondly about this trip all the time.

then came college. i never wanted to go in the first place, and it truly was a horrible experience for me. once again, i did not fit in. i smoked way too much weed and tried all these drugs and thought i was so fucking cool. i wanted to escape reality so bad during this intensely lonely time. i used to get super stoned by myself and just walk around at night, alone, for hours. i felt like i had no friends. i felt like everyone on that campus was so cookie-cutter and basic, and i couldn’t relate to any of them. i dated my first boyfriend, which was such a mistake. because i was so ugly and shy in high school, i had terrible self esteem and i felt immediately attracted to anyone who remotely “wanted” me. that relationship was terrible. i thought i was in love but i felt so used and manipulated by the end of it. i had no idea how to navigate those types of feelings or how to stand up for myself. i was beyond depressed and constantly wished i was dead. my acne was so bad and my room was so messy and i was living such an unhealthy lifestyle. i was snorting adderall and smoking cigarettes. i was doing acid and walking around campus, feeling more detached than ever. i don’t even know how i managed to get decent grades in school.  

i dated my second boyfriend, and he treated me a lot better but we were so codependent and awful together. i felt like such trash and like no one would ever like me at that fucking university so i might as well hate everyone else too and spend time with the one person i could connect with. we didn’t care about anyone except each other. neither of us had any friends. we treated everyone else like shit. the summer after sophomore year we went on a roadtrip up the west coast and we did all these drugs together and went to raves all the time and it was so fun and carefree. all we did was smoke, eat, do drugs, go to concerts, have sex, and watch TV. then i went to tanzania to study abroad for three months, and i finally realized how damaging it had been to live with him in our own stupid alternate reality, willfully oblivious to everything and everyone else. i realized how much i’d been shutting out my own friends. i realized how much i’d missed out on. i realized that i had never had a boyfriend i was actually in love with and attracted to. i’d just been looking for something to fill the lonely, something to assure me i was pretty and good because i could not love myself. i was so miserable in that hellhole university, but dating people gave me temporary happiness. 

i finally broke up with my second boyfriend for good after dragging it out for another six months. i just didn’t know how to end things at all. but i finally did. the last year of college was actually kind of fun. it was so bittersweet. for the first time, i was single and having a good time. i woke up and realized how badly i played myself by wasting so much time being miserable with men, and i was so angry and bitter about this. instead of being alone all the time, i took dance classes and went out to the bar every thursday night and partied and had a lot of fun. i felt like i should have been having fun like that throughout college. but oh well. i didn’t want to die anymore, but i still wasn’t very happy. i remember drinking entire bottles of wine by myself in desperate attempts to feel something. 

after graduating college i felt so liberated. i felt pretty that summer. i lost a lot of weight in tanzania and i didn’t have my chipmunk cheeks anymore. i bought a one way ticket to europe, where i had the time of my damn life. i lived like a dirty vagabond, sleeping on random people’s floors and drifting from place to place. i hooked up with a lot of men. i went wherever the wind took me. i felt so alive and invigorated now that i was no longer trapped in the university bubble. i felt like i wanted to just travel forever. i eventually got tired of it, gained weight, felt ugly again, and ran out of money. i fell head over heels in love with sam. i really felt like i had found “the one”. he was cute, he was funny, he was outgoing and my friends and family actually liked him - they hated my other boyfriends. 

i thought i had found my confidence but i really hadn’t. i was still really insecure. i had not recovered from my experiences in high school and college. my stint in europe was a refreshing rush of adrenaline, but it did not fix my issues deep down. i was a jealous girlfriend. i did not know how to communicate my feelings. i still did not know how to stand up for myself. i kept everything inside. 

there was a brief time - when i went to spain to get my TEFL - when things felt almost perfect between sam and me. we were so happy there. he had lots of friends, i had lots of friends, we ate and drank and partied and went running and just felt so optimistic about our future together. when we moved to vietnam together i ended up feeling so hopeless and sad. things fell apart rather quickly, but i convinced myself to hold on. within the first two months of being there, i had this voice in the back of my mind telling me i should break up with sam, that it wasn’t going to work out. and i was RIGHT - but i didn’t listen to myself, as usual. i let it drag on and on. i thought it would get better. and it didn’t, of course. i felt cheated again. i had not had a good time in vietnam, and i felt so bitter as i wondered, would things have been better had i gone there alone, without sam? would i have made more friends that way? would i have found a niche? there is no point in wasting time wondering what could have been. there is only what was. i only wish i would have been strong enough to just end things with sam instead of hanging on for so long - but was i wrong to hope things would get better for us? i was learning life lessons and i can’t get mad at myself for that.

in retrospect it’s so clear to me i should have never gone to new zealand with him. i should have listened to myself, because i always knew i didn’t want to go there. but i did not listen. i was desperate to feel what i had felt for sam before, during happier times. but i would never feel that way again. i went to new zealand and i was literally suicidal. i didn’t know what i’d done to deserve everything to go so wrong. i was so mad at myself for allowing the whole thing to happen, and for ignoring that fact that sam and i had been miserable together for months and months - we just chose not to accept it. we chose to blame it on being in vietnam, on not having friends, etc. but it was really just us. 

as awful as that time was, it’s a part of my story now. it was a transformative time and i laugh about it now - living in a car, breaking up on valentine’s day, sharing a kitchen with 60 people. so ridiculous that’s how we ended up. now it’s the end of the year and i feel so much life inside me. i want to keep living. i laugh so much every day. i have an amazing roommate who feels like a sister, i have so many friends, i have so much fun at my jobs, i finally have a place to call home. i have not slept with a man in 9 months because i haven’t even met anyone i feel attracted to. i finally feel like i know my worth. at least i hope so. i feel confident. i have been through so many lows that the highs feel so good. i am ending this year and this decade on a very good note and i am so glad.  

[mistyandmatt]

Friends (Insert the Friends theme song here)

We’ve shared a lot of our specific activities we have done while on this trip, as well as all the lovely landscape we’ve got to experience, but I want to take a quick minute to talk about a few things that have really made this trip much more meaningful for me. See, one of the many reasons I found a love in traveling (and let’s be honest entertaining strangers in my home who are also travelers) is because I’m really an introverted social person. I love knowing who people are, where they came from, the things that bring them happiness and joy, what their life experiences have been, and what truly makes them the individuals they are. It’s the innate social worker in me, I suppose. I can’t help it, nor would I change it, because it’s given me the chance to create amazing friendships and truly notable acquaintances over the years. This trip has given us the opportunity to not only meet new people everywhere we go, but for us to reconnect with our friends, many of which Matt or I have had the chance to spend time with in at least two to five years. I introduced you all to my friend Josh, the heavy-pour bartender who enabled us to miss our first flight to Hawaii, I’d now like you all to get aquatinted with Rene. Rene and I had the opportunity to work together in the Oklahoma County juvenile court system since 2008. We first bonded over our crazy work experiences, but second was our love for animals. Rene’s spirit and energy is contagious, her laugh so very lovable, and her feistiness is like none other. A few years ago she decided to move back to Kauai (she’s from here) to lead a more simpler, present-moment life. So, as Matt and I were coming into town, we contacted her to meet up and catch up on her life happenings. On Sunday, Rene gladly served as our local tour guide taking us from the Lihue/Kapaa area all the way west to the Waimea Canyon. We stopped to see several waterfalls, we did a rum tasting at the Koloa rum shop, we toured the coffee plantation at the Kauai Coffee Company, and hiked up to see the best views of the Waimea Canyon (noted as the Grand Canyon of the pacific). We got to see all the great spots, including lunch at a fantastic little side-of-the-road shrimp stand that was absolutely phenomenal. She was able to give us all the history of the area and all the fun insider details of truly being a local. A huge thank you to her for taking her day to do this for and with us, we had a great time and loved getting to catch up with one another. This was our last day in Kauai and quite frankly I was terribly sad to leave. I fell in love with this island and can see us coming back here many times in the future.

The next day we headed to the airport for our last Hawaiian island flight to make the quick trip over to Oahu for the next two days. We managed to get to the airport, get our boarding passes, and then headed towards security. Well, this is where things once again at an airport went south. Matt always tells me I’m not friendly enough with the airline people and that he is just going to “handle” the check in processes since he thinks he can use his brilliant personality to get what he wants (read: Matt thinks he is awesome and he has endless skills…) just wait. So, I took him up on the offer. He was handling check in this time. Matt always carries this specific knife with him everywhere, and he’s usually really good about remembering to take it out and put it in his checked luggage. Well, since you know we can’t get anywhere on time with him, we are cutting it close to boarding time as we are going through security. Well, “Brilliant Personality” forgot to put his knife in his checked luggage (probably because I wasn’t asking him 800 questions about do you have this, have you done that, etc.) and TSA obviously wouldn’t let him take it through. He decided to go over to the baggage check area to see if they would pull his bag and put it in there, but it had already gone out to get on the plane. At this point, they are calling our names on the intercom that they were going to shut the doors to the plane in two minutes and here he is, still not back through security for the second time. I literally ran to the gate (I’m too fat and out of shape for that kind of activity) and begged the ladies to wait so that he could get on the plane (I shouldn’t have, maybe he would have learned his lesson). Luckily, they did for his sake. Matt had to end his 12 year relationship with this specific knife at the baggage counter of Hawaiian Airlines because of his poor planning and “handling the check in process.” I’ll bet he’ll relinquish that decision back over to me again fairly quickly, since episode one of his new approach didn’t work so well. Twenty years later, some things just never change.

We were only going to be in Oahu for two days before catching our flight for the next leg of the journey, so we tried to hit a few highlights while we were there. We went to the USS Arizona (Pearl Harbor) memorial and museum as soon as we left the airport. The government was still technically shut down at that point and it was going to be the last day they were going to be open for visitors if a resolution had not been established. We stayed in Waikiki Beach that night and found ourselves making new friends in the hotel bar. At this point, we were about 11 days into this trip (which around 10 days historically is when I start to get cranky, want to sleep in my own bed, and become terribly impatient and intolerant of just about anything), we decide to go down for one drink and then we will go watch the sunset and go to bed early. Well, one drink turned into several, new friends were made, no sunset was seen, and no dinner was had. Four hours later we finally got to bed, so much for resting I suppose.

I’m pretty sure we wear ourselves totally out on these trips because we just have this drive to see and do as much as we can on our time off. With high expectations from both Matt and I, and a bucket list that seems endless, some days I just really want to rest and do absolutely nothing. No rest for the weary here, by 9:00 am the next day we were headed to the North Shore of Oahu to catch the locals surfing on what we were told were some pretty spectacular waves. January-March is the season for the 20-30 foot waves in this area that the crazy locals seem to love. After a few hours of watching the surfers (see attached photos), we also got to see a full on, out-of-the-water breaching humpback whale. Unfortunately, since nature isn’t “on demand” Matt wasn’t ready with the camera for it, but the image is permanently burned into my memory and I’ll take that, it was spectacular. We then spent the afternoon at the Dole Plantation learning all about the history of pineapples in Hawaii and of course, trying the famous Dole Whip. The tour around the gardens was interesting, as was the beautiful landscape they keep absolutely pristine. Who knew it takes 2 full years to grow a single pineapple? You learn something new everyday! The real highlight of the day was finding the mecca of all Target stores in the U.S. I needed to get a few things before we start the next phase of this trip (and lets be honest, I just really needed to get away from Matt for like one hour and mosey around looking at all the things I don’t need). With some hawaiian potato chips (they didn’t have any popcorn at this Target) and a fresh Diet Coke in hand, the three story Target store was just what I needed at that time. Next adventure: Dinner with Matt’s longtime friend, Philip and his wife, Andrea.

Back to the earlier conversation about meeting up with long-time friends, Matt and Philip have been friends since 2001. They were students at OU at the time and also worked together. Matt also became good friends with Philips brother, Ed, who served many years as our resident guinea pig on trying Matt’s random BBQ/cooking creations while he was in medical school. It’s been about 2-3 years since we’ve last seen each other, so getting together for dinner was on the agenda. We ate dinner at the Side Street Inn restaurant, which is known as a place for “local comfort food.” We followed up with hours of conversation at their house after their two sweet kiddos went to bed. As I’ve been missing sweet JuJu cat, I was able to get my kitty fix here, as the Nguyen’s recently became a kitten nursery, as their human kids let in a stray momma cat who was pregnant. Those little kitties were just so sweet and cuddly, exactly what I needed. At about 2:00 am we finally returned to our hotel to catch about three to four hours of sleep before we had to pack and be back at the airport to begin the international leg of this trip. It’s going to be a long day…..

Hawaii has been a wonderful experience and we’ve enjoyed every minute of it. Can’t wait to come back! Up next: Tokyo, Japan, off to meet all of Matt’s extended relatives for the first time ever. I can’t wait to see how this goes…..

[automaticpostinfluencer]

So, Can We All Start Shipping Hannah Brown and Tyler Cameron Again?

It’s almost as if Hannah Brown and Tyler Cameron knew we all needed a feel-good Bachelor story to fill the void. 

Nearly a year after her season of self-discovery became must-see TV, we’re all stuck at home with no new episodes to binge. And after buckling in for pilot Peter Weber‘s turbulent journey we landed in the exact same spot with nothing more than a bout of emotional sickness to show for it. (Well, except for our new star Barb, who just might end up slinging margaritas in Paradise for all we know.) 

Desperate to slake our thirst for a love story, we turned to our most recent Bachelorette and boy did Alabama Hannah deliver. Unexpectedly self-distancing with Cameron, the runner-up suitor she famously asked out post-show, she’s giving us a daily peek at their increasingly flirty friendship, complete with games of spin the bottle and jokes about the size of his package. 

And it’s not entirely in jest. 

Because while a source tells E! News the onetime pageant queen and the general contractor-slash-model, who won over scores of Bachelor fans with his desirable mix of feminist views and ultra-cut abs, aren’t officially together, they’re not not an item. “There is definite chemistry between Hannah and Tyler,” a source shared with E! News. “They both have expressed they are not in a position to date right now but do care about each other.” 

So you’re saying there’s a chance. 

John Fleenor via Getty Images

Which is really all we’ve been hoping for since that August night when the 25-year-old University of Alabama alum, newly single after dumping disappointing fiancé Jed Wyatt, timidly told the former Wake Forest quarterback, “You’re an incredible guy and I’m a single girl…so? I just thought maybe we could go for a drink and just hang out.”

Because before the ABC Food Tours founder spent a whirlwind two months on supermodel Gigi Hadid‘s arm, there was an ever-so-brief moment in time where we thought he and Brown (a woman he once referred to as “our Queen”) were truly meant to be. 

A mere four days removed from that After the Final Rose plot twist, the 27-year-old was photographed leaving the L.A. rental Brown was using during her ultimately triumphant stint on Dancing With the Stars.

His chaste Fantasy Suite behavior that led Brown to call him “the most respectful man i’ve ever been with. Ever,” was fine and all, but by this point the emotional connection she had worried about during filming was strong. It was time to forgo those individual rooms.

ABC/Mark Bourdillon

“Tyler got to Hannah’s place around 9 p.m. and they stayed in,” a source said. “He spent the night with her and left this morning after 10 a.m. She walked him out to his car and they hugged and kissed. He had an overnight bag and they looked very happy together.”

But then not quite 72 hours later he was squiring around a certain leggy blonde and it seemed Brown and Cameron’s journey had come to an abrupt halt with Brown declaring she found it a little less than respectful that he’d move on so quickly and so publicly and with an internationally renowned supermodel to boot.

“He has every right to do whatever he wants because we were just, you know, hanging out, seeing where it goes. And I am completely fine with that,” she allowed on the Bachelor Happy Hour podcast in August. Still, she continued, “I have no shame in saying I had feelings. I totally did. I totally still have feelings but, at the same time, I am not tied to any man or tied to Tyler and I’m not going to be.”

BlayzenPhotos / BACKGRID

Really, though, it would have been cool if he’d done a little more to keep his dealings on the down-low. “The thing is…we are not dating dating, at all, we hung out, but we also had conversations of both like knowing that there’s still something there,” she surmised. “And when you are in the public eye, you do just have to be respectful of each other.”

By September, he was comforting Hadid through the passing of her grandma, even tagging along to the Netherlands funeral service and deleting all traces of Brown from his Instagram, a death knell for any 21st century relationship.

“It got messy once Tyler hung out with Hannah right after the finale, and then immediately started dating Gigi,” an insider explained to E! News at the time. “Hannah was really upset about it. Tyler didn’t think it was fair since Hannah didn’t even choose him in the first place.”

When things didn’t improve after their run-in at E!’s People’s Choice Awards in November, we had no choice but to ship Brown and Pilot Pete because Alabama Hannah deserves love, damnit.

“I don’t need a man,” she shared on iHeartRadio’s Scrubbing In With Becca Tilley and Tanya Rad podcast last month. “I want a man and I think that’s okay.”

But sometimes things have a funny way of working out just as they should. Following the sudden death of his mom Andrea Cameron in early March, there was Brown, turning up in Jupiter, Florida, any tension of the previous months instantly forgotten. Though this hometown date was far more platonic with her only intentions to share her sympathies and a drink at local spot Miller’s Ale House March 7.

“She reached out immediately and Tyler was grateful for her support,” a source told E! News at the time. “They have gotten closer recently and he’s really thankful to have her around.”

And not just for a one-off hang, either. With a trip planned to visit her family in Alabama, Brown made a pitstop in Florida just a week after that initial meet-up, Cameron scooping her up from the Palm Beach airport himself.

Thanks to social distancing, though, their fun weekend of beach volleyball and swimming has turned into a week-and-a-half-long stay, the pair choosing to shelter together with a group of pals they’ve dubbed the “Quarantine Crew”.

And while couples the world over are complaining about the dearth of personal space and perpetual boredom, their gang is busy living their best lives with daily workouts and endless Tik Tok videos, each one cheekily playing up the duo’s current are-they-or-aren’t-they vibe.

The real answer, the source, insists is that they technically aren’t. But that’s far from the final word on the matter.

Between the loss of his mother and her brother’s recent overdose, “They have both been through a lot recently and are supporting each other through it,” the source explains to E! News. “Tyler has definitely been leaning on Hannah and it feels very comforting to have her around.” What’s more, continues the source, “Hannah gets along with Tyler’s family and friends and everyone loves her.”

His family approves, his friends are on board and we all know the chemistry’s there. So, by all means, ship away. “You don’t just turn off emotions,” Brown herself once proclaimed on Good Morning America way back in August. “I want him to be a part of my life in some way. So I want to be able to hang out.” 

What happens next on this dramatic journey, well, we’ll just have to keep tuning in. 

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[jumarit38]

THROUGH TIME - CHAPTER 18

[dreamlover31]

Nothing Can Tear Us Apart: Chapter 9

He strolled through the hallway, face deep in a case file until his focus was interrupted by the sounds of light hearted laughter, with eyebrows furrowed he stealthily followed like a moth to a flame leading him from Justine's then to his office. A look of amusement bestowed upon his face whilst he stood at the center of the open doorway, for what was set in front of him was the sight of Alexa and Justine sitting at the circular table that sat in the middle of the room, the two women shared soft giggles as she scrolled through the various photos saved on her phone; images of Nadia in her little pink onesie smiling and laughing as Alexa cradled the infant in her arms.

A few more sets included her sleeping peacefully; tiny hands curled up from side to side, with every swipe, a warmth overshadowed Alexa's entire being, its source deriving from the adoration and even pride she felt for the precious miracle that was conceived through her parent's love.

Justine's eyes lit up with every portrait

"Oh my gosh, Alexa...she is so beautiful"

"Thank you"

"And those eyes...they're the most captivating shade of green I've ever seen, I mean with one look and you are head over heels in love"

Alexa chuckled lightly, "Well.. I guess she inherited that from her father"

Justine somberly agreed, "Yes...I guess she did"

Just then, Rafael cleared his throat, the two women jumped slightly as they faced the man in front of them, who was sporting a cheeky grin.

Alexa snorted, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Just tell me you're not going to drive off a cliff in a Thunderbird with a convoy of police cars on your tail"

"Ha-ha"

Alexa sat up from the chair and walked over to her awaiting husband, her arms encircled his neck as she planted a soft, gentle kiss upon his lips; he hummed as his body felt as if it was 100 pounds lighter. His arms slid around her waistline, Alexa slowly removed her lips from his only to place small pecks on the corners of his mouth, for a moment, they were lost in each other's orbit; essentially it was as if everything in the room fell into the background and they were the only two people in the universe.

However, their intimate encounter paused via the sound of Rafael's phone vibrating in his pocket, he let out a groan as they gingerly slipped from one another's embrace. With the phone in the palm of his hand, he immediately saw that the call was from Liv, he signaled to Alexa, with a single digit, that it would take a minute. She nodded before returning to the table where Justine was still sitting.

Within a few seconds, the conversation between him and Liv ended, after he pocketed the device, Rafael refocused his attention towards Alexa.

"Sorry about that, so Alexa...I hope Justine isn't the only person you came here to see"

"Actually, there's this really handsome ADA that works in this building that I've had my eye on for quite a while"

Rafael quirked a brow, "Really? Anyone I know?"

“Well...he's got dark hair, a lean body and the most gorgeous pair of green eyes that would make the Gods themselves weak at the knees," she winked

"Well, this guy sounds like a package deal"

"Yeah, I'll introduce you to him"

Husband and wife burst into joyous laughter, at one point, Alexa held a hand to her chest, for she was starting to become out of breath; once both parties composed themselves, she revealed the reason behind her visit.

"Anyway, I was in the neighborhood and I thought we could have lunch at the diner down the street...that is if you are not too busy"

Her dark brown eyes captured his emerald orbs in a state of hopefulness, inside she prayed that he could spare at least an hour just for the two of them, between their work schedules, they had spent hardly enough time together. Her worries were quickly dashed when he softly smiled and agreed to lunch with her, Alexa practically jumped out of her seat as she gathered her belongings, Rafael perched a hand on the small of her back while they made their exit; but not before informing Justine to forward his calls and messages to his phone.

When they came upon the diner, Rafael held the door open for his spouse, she thanked him for his chivalrous act upon her entrance into the establishment; she spotted a corner booth a few feet down, Rafael followed closely behind when she trekked towards it.

As soon as both parties were seated, a waitress came up and took their drink orders, at the time of her absence, Rafael and Alexa sat in a comfortable silence, the pads of their fingertips touching with their hands resting on top of the table.

A few minutes later, their waitress returned with two glasses, one contained lemonade while the other was coffee; the young woman was sent off to the kitchen with their food order and once again, the two engaged in the solace of their company. Alexa took a few sips of her lemonade before she planted her hand on top of Rafael's, her fingers wrapped around it as her thumb stroked his knuckles.

"So, have you heard anything from Carmen?"

"Her grandfather is still in the hospital, doctors are hopeful but they don't think he has much time"

Alexa frowned, even though they were merely acquaintances, she felt that Carmen was almost like a part of the family; her and Rafael had gotten close over the years and truth to be told, she was a little bit surprised he could function so easily with his new assistant Justine.

"Keep a good thought for her and her family"

"I will"

In that instant, the waitress arrived with their orders, they dined peacefully the moment the young woman stepped away. Halfway through their meal, the familiar buzzing of Rafael's phone caused him to annoyingly grunt, he pulled the item from the breast pocket of his jacket; the screen illuminated with Liv's name as his thumb swiped the green button. Alexa waved to their server and asked for the bill, the phone call ended as soon as she paid, after his phone was put back into his pocket; Rafael looked upon his wife apologetically.

"That was Liv, I have to go the precinct...they caught a suspect who's looking to broker a deal"

Alexa lightly nodded, "It's ok, I have to get back to the shelter anyway"

She leaned across the table and pressed a kiss to his forehead

"Thanks for lunch, I'll see you at home"

"Ok, be safe"

"You too"

As she left the diner, her hand waved over to an oncoming cab, Rafael watched as his wife entered the yellow vehicle, through the lowered window, Alexa shot a wave to her husband, who gave one back. Once the vehicle disappeared from sight, he slipped out of the booth and made his way back to One Hogan Place; he entered the elevator car and rode it down to the parking garage where he passed the abundance of cars in his wake until reaching the SUV.

About a few hours later, the SUV rolled back into the parking structure, the engine turned off and Rafael departed from the vehicle, he made the journey back to his office up the elevator and through the corridor of offices on his floor; the moment he stepped in, the smiling face of his assistant Justine greeted him; the gesture was reciprocated with a smile of his own.

He shed his jacket, then draped it over his chair, his briefcase laid against the side of his desk, after getting settled in, he opened his laptop and dove right into typing out the search warrant that was needed if the SVU squad was going to nail a suspect for multiple rape/murder; the draft was completed and Rafael scanned its content for proofreading, his eyes became strained from looking at the screen to the point where he had to turn away and rub them.

It had been a long day for the hard-working ADA, and the effects of a migraine began to surface, he reached over to the side drawer of his desk to retrieve the bottle of aspirin, where it was kept for situations like this. However, upon further inspection, his eyes widened and blood pressure spiked; for what he found instead was a pair of black laced panties. In between his thumb and index finger, the lacy material dangled, a bewildered expression graced the contours of his face, but in the same moment; almost knowingly, he smirked, for a theory popped into his head as to its owner.

After giving the search warrant another glance, the document was sent to one of the judges in the building by courtesy of an email, and in one swift motion, Rafael grabbed his cell phone from his jacket pocket, with quick precision, his list of contacts was pulled up. He scrolled down until his wife's number came into view, and then began typing away after clicking the text message tab.

Where are you?

I decided to work from home the rest of the day, why?

Don't move, I'm on my way

Before she responded, he slipped his jacket back on and plucked his suitcase from the floor and sped out the door, he informed Justine that he was taking a personal day, the trip back to the SUV was a blur; for his mind raced with thoughts of Alexa sprawled out on their bed, biting her lip in anticipation of the sinful acts that would occur between them, as his fantasies became more explicit, his slacks were becoming increasingly uncomfortable during the drive home.

Rafael breathed a sigh of relief once he saw the building come into view, the SUV was put into park and he all but leapt from the vehicle, the door bolted open. Alexa sprung up from the couch, she was dressed in one of Rafael's shirts that was left in the hamper, when she arrived home earlier, her clothes were thrown across the bedroom floor then piled up in her arms but just as she was about to put them in the hamper, her eyes caught his pastel blue shirt.

After tossing her clothes in, she pulled out the shirt and shrouded it over her body, her eyes closed as she hummed at the feel of the fabric against her skin and his familiar scent still etched in its threads, in her mind, it was like having the real deal by her side.

From there, Alexa travelled back downstairs to the living room where she pulled out her laptop and began working on reports, in the middle of drafting a restraining order for one of her residents; her phone pinged with a message from Rafael, the correspondence was brief, asking for her whereabouts and then stating that he was on his way home. In a confused state, she decided to wait for him, moments later, the front door abruptly opened and she stepped over into the entry way, but before she could speak, Rafael rushed over and kissed her hard.

Alexa's body stiffened briefly before matching the force of his kiss with her own, as the kiss deepened, Rafael's tongue poked out attempting to gain access into Alexa's mouth; her lips parted until his warm slippery appendage slid its way inside. Her tongue mingled along with his in the heat of fiery passion, but after a moment, he began to ease up and pull back, their foreheads touched as Alexa breathlessly sighed and smiled.

"Where did that come from?"

"Where's Nadia?"

"She and Ashtonja are at the park"

"Good"

Alexa yelped as Rafael hoisted her over his shoulder, she was in a fit of giggles as he climbed up the stairs, they made it into the bedroom where he dropped her on top of the bed; Alexa laughed as her body bounced on top of the mattress. She propped herself up on her elbows, eyes locking on to Rafael's lust filled ones, Alexa bit her lip shyly; her heart beating in the wake of her husband's intended desires.

"Take off the shirt"

She eagerly nodded and hastily popped off every last button, with little movement, she shimmied her body out of the article of clothing; her body bare with the exception of a pair of white cotton panties covering her womanhood. Rafael licked his lips as his eyes looked over at her appreciatively, he hummed and then in a husked tone commanded:

"Stand up and turn around"

Alexa more than happily obliged, it was then that Rafael loosened his tie and removed it from his collar, before she knew what was happening, he tied her hands behind her back and playfully pushed her on the bed; Alexa landing face first. Her body twisted around until her posterior was sticking up in the air, meanwhile, Rafael bent over until his mouth hovered over her earlobe.

"You've been a naughty girl carino," Rafael purred as his teeth nipped at Alexa's ear

Alexa shivered at his seductive tone, soon she felt his lips leave small pecks on her shoulder blade while he slowly backed away until he positioned himself behind her, suddenly he tugged down the remaining clothed barrier; his hand smoothing over her left cheek.

Alexa moaned softly until Rafael landed a hard smack on the area, her mouth widened as a gasp escaped through it, another hard smack quickly followed the first; this time Alexa gasped and moaned and then Rafael delivered another blow to her cheek, resulting in a loud moan. Her ass pressed up against his caged erection as small whimpers spilled from her lips, she was already dealing with her arousal dripping from her core, now she needed him to stimulate her even further

Alexa whined, "Please papi...I want you inside me"

Rafael pried the belt from his slacks and unzipped his fly, before moving forward, his hand dipped between her legs, a single digit stroked along her soaked slit; a low growl emanated from him.

"Cono mami...so wet for me, like a good girl"

Alexa moaned, "i'll always be your good girl"

His hand slid back from her center and then rested on her lower back; with a free hand, he pumped his organ before surging forward, he teased Alexa's opening with the tip of his semi, Alexa whimpered once again, grinding on him in, desperately seeking out her release from him; then in one swift movement, Rafael penetrated her inner walls as they moaned and gasped simultaneously; he started a moderate pace before going full throttle on her.

"Ohhh God...oh Rafi...keep going!"

He grunted with every thrust pounding into her, his fingers slid in between her legs once more and began roughly tracing circles along her clit, Alexa's breathing became heavy and labored as her orgasm was within reach, suddenly Rafael stopped causing her to whine; in combination with his thrusts and stimulation of her clit, he brought to the edge 3 more times until she was a sobbing mess.

"Oh god I can't take it anymore...please papi..let me come"

"Then come for me, come for your papi like a good girl"

Both cried out in ecstasy as their collective orgasms shook them to their very core, panting and sighs of content consumed the all but quiet room, Rafael untied his wife's hands. She crawled up on to the bed and laid on her side, her husband made quick work of disrobing and immediately joined her, Alexa snuggled up to him and kissed his exposed skin and fiddled with the hairs on his chest; he peppered her forehead with kisses.

"My God...that was...that was"

"Most undoubtedly the best sex of your life"

Alexa laughed, "To say the least"

A momentary lapse of time passed, Rafael traced lines on Alexa's back, with her head tucked under his chin; he nuzzled against her forehead: "By the way...thanks for leaving me that little package in my desk drawer"

Alexa hummed, but then blinked her eyes in confusion, slowly she slipped out of Rafael's arms and propped up on her elbow, she tilted her head to the side and said:

"What are you talking about?"

Rafael laughed lightly, "Oh don't you play innocent with me"

"Rafael...this isn't a joke, I seriously don't know what you're talking about"

He scanned her face for any signs that she was kidding, but found none, Rafael left the bed and walked over to his discarded slacks, he dug into his pocket and pulled out the lacy panties inside. The undergarment dangled between his fingers while Alexa looked upon in a stunned expression. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, unable to come up with any retort, her arm lifted and shakily pointed to the foreign piece of fabric.

"What the hell is that?!"

Rafael stuttered, "Mi amor...I swear to God...I thought they were yours"

"Rafael if those were mine I would tell you"

Suddenly, he threw the panties as if they've been dipped in acid, then his attention was redirected to his wife; a mortified expression fell on his face, he was beyond flabbergasted that a someone would plant their underwear inside his drawer. As they locked eyes, he could sense that she was starting to retreat emotionally into her own mind.

She couldn't look at him, suddenly her old insecurities began to manifest themselves, oh god...please not again...tears started to prick in her eyes; while her mind closed itself off, she didn't notice Rafael cradling her face in his hands and tilting it up so she could face him; his face filled with worry at the distance he saw in her eyes.

"Alexa, please look at me"

Slowly, her mind returned to the present as the buildup of tears fell to her cheeks, Rafael stroked her hair lovingly, at the same time, he placed a firm but sensual kiss upon her lips, hoping it would get through to her that he was all hers and no one else's.

"I love you...and only you"

Alexa smiled, "I believe you"

Rafael held her in his arms, their bodies eased back down on to the bed, the skin to skin contact continued well into the night; prior to both falling into deep slumber, Rafael combed through Alexa's hair while serenading her with soft tokens of affection.

[shannrussell-blog1]

There’s regular camping gear that we take on every camping trip… tent, table, stove, sleeping gear, etc. Then there’s a whole host of extraordinarily peculiar gear that can arguably enhance your camping experience.

Some of these things are pretty nifty. Others will lure you with bizarre advertising that you’ll find hard to look away from only to leave you feeling unsettled and questioning what on earth it was you just watched!

Not surprisingly, a lot of these items are no longer available, but there are always new weird and wonderful bits of gear hitting the market all the time.

So without further ado, here are the 5 outlandish and offbeat bits of camping gear that we’ve found so far on the web.

5. The Bumper Dumper

You’d want to make sure you are on a quiet road when you stop to use the Bumper Dumper. This portable toilet seat and bucket fits into your tow hitch so you can sit down at the back of your car for a roadside dump. Maybe not as private as an old fallen log (pardon the pun) but far more comfortable.

I’m not sure where you put the bucket once you’ve filled it, the roof rack is probably the best option. Just make sure your buddy is finished before you drive away, and beware of the hot exhaust.

Image by Bumper Dumper

4. A whole host of weird sleeping bags

Kids worried about sleeping in the outdoors? Help them get to sleep in the dark by handing them a giant shark and telling them to climb right on into its mouth! Kids scared of sharks? That’s ok because there’s a grizzly bear option too!

Imagine how excited medical students would be with the anatomical sleeping bag, and nothing says “don’t worry, we’re all in this together” more than a fellow camper in a cadaver bag.

Image by World of Camping

3. Leatherman Tread Multi Tools

Can we call this a man bangle? The Leatherman Tread is more of a fashion statement than a multi-tool. It’s one of those bits of gear that you buy someone who already has everything plus it’s the only multi-tool we know of that is allowed through airport security.

That being said, you’d be best checking with your airline before an airport security officer decides your wrist bling would look better on them.

Image by Leatherman

. Field Candy Patterned Tents

These guys are taking personalised camping to the next level. Traditional ‘A-frame’ tents that let you blend in or stand out as much as you want, some designs may even make your fellow campers feel somewhat uneasy. From sheep to an English pub, watermelons, books and even Iron Maiden, there’s a design to suit every personality.

Image by Field Candy

1. Victorinox Swiss Champ XAVT

Victorinox is really just showing off here. 8 functions in an inconveniently large 65mm wide package, this Swiss Army pocket knife is better suited to the display cabinet than your camping kit… Victorinox does mention this though.

Image by Unbox Therapy

0. Offroad Segway

If hiking isn’t your thing then why not tear up the walking tracks and mow down the wildlife with an off-road segway. These will set you back a pretty penny but at least you won’t be burning all those hard-earned calories on the way to your destination. Oh, and you’re going to need a powered site.

Image by Al Gadgets Technology

19. Super Kimbos – keep your pants on, even when you go to the toilet!

I don’t have any words for this.

18. Nite Ops Stubby Cooler… with LED light

You probably wouldn’t buy one of these for yourself, but you wouldn’t complain if this was in your Kris Kringle gift. Made with ABS plastic (think Lego) and equipped with an LED light, you’ve now got an excuse for taking your bevvie for a long post-campfire-curry-dinner long-drop sitting.

Image by Maxim

17. Inflatable Lounge Chairs

Initially, I thought these were ridiculous. Then thoughts of relaxing around the campsite on a 4 seater inflatable lounge chair entered my mind and before I knew it I was reaching for the credit card. These would look more at home in your lounge room than in the campsite, and with one, two and four-seater options you can seat the whole family and some wildlife.

Just for the record, I got over my excitement pretty quickly and didn’t actually buy one of these lounge chairs, however, an inflatable lounge could also be fun for floating down a creek in after some rainy weather, don’t you think?

Image by Archi Expo

16. ManCan Portable Beer Keg

How necessary these are for camping could be debated for a lifetime, but the one thing that any beer loving camper would agree on is that these are pretty cool. A single wall keg that you can keep in your portable car fridge ready for a cold beer on tap in the campsite. You can also get a limited edition WoManCan, which a portion of the proceeds will go to supporting women in the brewing industry.

Their claims of being lightweight are a stretch for hikers but a homebrew enthusiast on a car based camping trip would love this.

Image by InsideHook

15. TrailKeg

Once again, a little heavy for hiking but…this portable beer keg is vacuum insulated and will keep your beer cold for up to 4 hours. So, theoretically, if you were to do away with 5kg of other gear in your rucksack, you could take cold beer on tap just about anywhere. You’d consider it… right?

Image by TrailKeg

14. Powdered Beer

If you really can’t justify the weight of a ManCan or TrailKeg in your trekking pack, then maybe powdered beer is more your thing. As a beer lover myself I’d rather drink muddy water filtered through my socks than a glass of powdered beer, but I’ve never tried it, so who am I to judge? The fact that it doesn’t seem to be available any more may be a good indication of flavour though.

Image by Trek’n Eat

13. The DryFlush Toilet

Are you concerned about the environmental impact of using water, chemicals and dedicated dump points for your portable toilet waste? Not to worry, now you can vacuum wrap your crap in foil and bank it all in a giant plastic bag! Then you get to pay a visit to every landfill site on your trip to get rid of it all! Seems like an environmentally friendly solution to me…not!

1. Fry an egg with the Flash Torch

Keep out of reach of children! This torch won’t just light your path to the dunny, it will also start a fire and fry an egg, all with the power of its ‘laser beam’ [insert Dr Evil voiceover]. Sounds more like a lightsabre to me and a sure fire way to burn holes in your tent, administer third-degree burns to wildlife and fry the retinas of your camping buddies. It’s 100% legally guaranteed under US law though, so it must be safe!

Image by Gizmodo

11. GSI Ultralight Table

We actually sell this one at Snowys. Our initial thoughts were that it is gimmicky and expensive and wouldn’t be overly popular… we were wrong! It seems that this 30cm long table is sought after, most likely by gourmet trail chefs. All in all, it’s a pretty cool bit of kit, just very expensive for a small amount of benchtop.

Image by GSI Outdoors

10. BBQ Fishing Rod

Snow Peak makes a whole host of gimmicky yet surprisingly functional gear for the outdoors lifestyle and the BBQ Rod is by no means an exception. Attach your marshmallows, sausages, fish or veggies to the hook and dangle them over the fire, then with a small flick of the wrist your food flips for even cooking. Pretty cool!

Image by Snow Peak

9. Titanium Straw

The Snow Peak Titanium straw is the strongest and most durable reusable straw in the world. Able to pierce coconuts with a single blow and rest stylishly in any cocktail. Doubles as a miniature blow dart pipe for lightweight hunting adventures.

This is quite a timely placement given the talk of the environmental impact disposable straws are having, unfortunately, it’s not available in Australia as yet.

Image by Snow Peak

8. Candwich – Canned Sandwiches

If I had to pull some positives from this, it would be their marketing. However, apart from fleeting glimpses of these sandwiches flying out of their respective cans and across the dance floor into the mouths of hungry disco dancers, there’s no image of the actual product. Most likely because they have the plate appeal of a budget airline meal. I’m not sure why you would take a canned sandwich to a dance club but given they stay ‘fresh’ for over a year they are probably handy for camping… I think I’ll stick to baked beans myself though.

Alternatively, there are canned cheeseburgers from the same people that brought you the powdered beer. Strangely enough, these don’t seem to be available any more.

Video by Candwich

7. GSI Collapsible Whisk

Without any context, it’s hard to work out what this peculiar little device is and a poll of random guesses to its use may return some less than desirable guesses given its whip-like appearance. But, when GSI designed it they had a portable whisk in mind.

If scrambled eggs, omelettes and pancakes are a regular on your camping menu then this may be a useful item in your kit.

Image by Snowys Outdoors

6. iGuaneye Footwear

The concept makes sense, inspired by the Amazonian Indians who dipped their feet in natural latex for protection. While the latex stuck to the Amazonians feet like glue, these shoes rely on your big toe and some rubber around the heel to keep the shoe in place.

Personally, I’ve never seen a problem with flip-flops, but these do look interesting. iGuaneye looks like a relatively new brand, not something we’ve seen on any shelves in Australia just yet.

Image by iGUANEYE

5. Hydro Hammock Bath Tub

If you’ve packed everything, including the kitchen sink, and still got a 4× foot void in your boot, you can take the bathtub too thanks to the Hydro Hammock. This battery powered gas heated insulated hammock is designed to be filled with water to create a remote hydro spa. Simply hang it between two rock solid and level anchor points, or dig an enormous hole to lay it in. Then add about 180 litres of water and make sure you’ve got a flood management plan in place when you empty it.

The Hydro Hammock can be used in the wilderness, the beach or wherever you can feasibly carry a 30 kg case and 180 kg of water. The images even suggest you use it as an outdoor bath on your suburban balcony!

Image by Daily Mail Australia

4. Campfire Defender Blanket

I’m not sure I could sleep at night knowing my campfire is smouldering away under a massive blanket not too far from my tent. There are a small number of online reviews supporting my concerns, inversely then there’s a lot of positive feedback.

The idea is that instead of extinguishing your fire when you hit the hay, just peg this woven glass fire blanket over your fire. This allows the fire to keep burning whilst containing embers which means you’ll have hot coals in the morning.

Personally, I feel like it takes the responsibility out of making sure your fire is adequately extinguished. It also seems like it would be a dirty smoky item to be hauling around in your vehicle.

Video by Campfire Defender

3. Glow in the Dark Toilet Paper

Other than being able to locate the toilet paper in bush dunny completely void of light, or maybe so you can see the roll that you just dropped in the long drop, I’m pretty confident in saying that the 

Image by ThisIsWhyImBroke

. GSI Vortex Blender

This blender does not require electricity, so you don’t have to go without your protein shake, daiquiris and margaritas at the campsite. What you will need though, is a strong arm, a camp table strong enough to clamp the blender onto, and a couple of camping buddies to hold everything steady as you thrash away at the crank handle in an effort to turn the contents of the blender into a liquid.

The best thing is that you get an upper body workout while you produce the vitamin enriched shake you’ll need for muscle recovery afterwards.

Image by GSI Outdoors

1. Squat Strap

There’s a lot that is not right here. Firstly, it looks to be a terribly uncomfortable & over engineered strap that supposedly makes bush toileting easy… provided you have quads of steel. Secondly, the marketing is akin to a B-Grade comedic horror movie.

In summary, a short-tempered man in a white suit (Tuxman) steps out from behind a tree wearing a monkey mask and stares creepily at an unsuspecting camper preparing for a in the woods. Following a sales pitch on the Squat Strap and its numerous other uses, Tuxman pulls out a graphic illustration of a naked man strapped to a tree with bricks falling from his, err… rear-end!

Assumingly once the bricks have passed, the unsuspecting camper is converted to Tuxman’s bush monkey ways and dons the white suit before honing in on another culprit who appears to be converted as he’s come prepared with a Squat Strap of his own. They then all join hands (Tuxman now in a robe!) in a show of united appreciation for the Squat Strap!

These don’t look to be available any more, maybe the budget for the commercial could have been spent better on other areas of marketing?

Video by Squat Monkey

Got any strange camping products that we should add to our list? Post us some details below and we’ll include it!

The post Weird, Wonderful & Disturbingly Strange Camping Gear appeared first on Snowys Blog.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

“Telling” Asks

Because I’m relaxing today and I’ve never answered some of these before.

From: https://beyondthetemples-ooc.tumblr.com/post/185158056997/weird-asks-that-say-a-lot

--

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups would be ideal, but the reality is more water bottles.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Honestly? Neither. (Unless it's a really good chocolate bar, like 85% dark, or Cadbury's~)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Both are too sweet for me. (Though, maybe once a year, I'll indulge in one of each.)

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Bottles, if it's not soda! (Good for multi-tasking and not spilling!) But otherwise, glass cups. Unless the plastic ones are really pretty or have a very nice grippy shape to them.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Oh always goth, all the way. Technically a more "formal" goth (romantigoth is the label i'd choose if i HAD to pick one),

7. earbuds or headphones? That depends. When I'm active, or when it's hot outside? Earbuds. But when travelling, trying to work in a loud environment, or generally needing sound cancellation: definitely headphones.

8. movies or tv shows? Oh, that REALLY depends on the content. Movies are easier on the ADD, and most TV shows are paced TERRIBLY in the long-running format, but then there's, like... cartoons, basically, that have satisfying stories in each episode AND a great overarching plot.

9. favorite smell in the summer? Pre-Thunderstorm Static.

10. game you were best at in p.e.? I wasn't the best at ANY game in PE... ;P Honestly, my best "game" was probably....... tag, but the kind where they're running away from you as a form of bullying, so you just embrace it and "touch" them just to mess with them.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? I don't. (I don't feel hungry most mornings.) "First lunch" is usually a piece of fruit and maybe a granola bar.

12. name of your favorite playlist? I don't do "playlists", I do "play every album by this artist in chronological order"! But I guess my Epica and Evanescence stations on Pandora come pretty close, huh?

13. lanyard or key ring? Neither actually; I use those bungee-like things you can stretch to hold my things. I literally attach my wallet to my bag's handle with those so I don't lose it.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Peppermint? Candied ginger? Do s'mores count?~

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Oh DAMN that's hard... Let's see. If AR Summer Reading projects count: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire? The Invisible Thread (by Yoshiko Uchida)? Fahrenheit 451? And if those don't count, maybe The Scarlet Letter (by Hawthorne, of course).

16. most comfortable position to sit in? Your classic lotus position. I'm essentially in it right now.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? Work shoes, but outside of work? Black flip flops.

18. ideal weather? Realistically: 65, light breeze, and lots of clouds with a little rain. But my absolute FAVORITE weather was something I've only ever seen ONCE, and that was a thunderstorm in the middle of a snowstorm. It was incredible and the image of lightning against the snowfall is forever seared into the core of my soul as one of the most gorgeous things I've ever experienced.

19. sleeping position? Varies night by night. Safe to call it a general Flop.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? It depends on the draft! First drafts are best done for me in notebooks (usually, unless it's a scene with No Chronology Yet, it's in the notebook meant for the story)! But also, anything that's on hand whenever a new scene strikes me works too. I've written on napkins, calendar pages, doctor notes, and Greyhound bus tickets.

21. obsession from childhood? Ooh, Teen Titans, still to this day!

22. role model? ...Rrrraven? (And/or, my Actual Mentors. But it's very much a "don't be me, just let us try to teach you some things so you can be the Best You".)

23. strange habits? ...oh gods, where do I even begin. I meditate and practice energy work on the daily. I touch things almost any time I'm walking anywhere, like just reach my hands out a little and touch whatever's closest. I tend to ask a lot of questions when I'm talking to someone, lots of "why is that". I compulsively read Every Single Ingredient on every box I buy and research anything I'm not familiar with. Does taking like 15 pills and vitamins every day count? And also my "nesting" behavior, any time I'm somewhere I feel it's not rude to re-arrange, I grab pillows and blankets for support.

24. favorite crystal? Damnit, all my favorite stones are actually not "crystals"?! But crystalline azurite is close enough. (It kind of depends on the day and what energy I'm looking for. Stone/crystal work is another one of those weird habits. ;P )

25. first song you remember hearing? The "Arthur" themsong. I remember going to my mother and being like, "They said A! A is a letter!" And it wasn't for another, like, 3-5 years that I'd realize, they're saying "hey", not "A".

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay inside. (Anything that counts as "warm" rather than "cool" is too warm for me....) But if I had to pick ONE thing, definitely swimming, in a lake (because I have a mild chlorine allergy).

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? ALL of them! Just being outside as long as it's not too sunny! Hiking, meditating, I used to do all my spiritual rituals outside, reading, walking, hell even at work when we have dogs to take on walks, I love walking in the park with them. Being outside when it's snowing. And then curling up in my room, on my soft bed, with a cup of tea and a book (or a great fanfic) after...

28. five songs to describe you? Teen Titans themesong, Bakura's Theme, What's the Use of Feeling (Blue) 1. End of the Dream, by Evanescence [ x ] 2. My Demons, by Starset [ x ] 3. Underneath, by Tarja [ x ] 4. Paradise (What About Us), Within Temptation ft. Tarja [ x ] 5. Reality Fringe, by Alex Dalliance

29. best way to bond with you? Talking, communicating, while respecting boundaries, with patience and sincerity.

30. places that you find sacred? Honestly, the biggest answers are a part of the Nexus and I don't think I'm ready to talk about that here;; Let's just say, astral adventures have gotten wild enough that my spirit guide and I have meeting places that are sacred, my leader-goddess has shown me a few places, and there are some "places" within my own mindscape that are sacred enough.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Oh honey, that depends entirely on my mood. And the situation. I have multiple cloaks, some closet cosplays, I wear skirts every day, business jackets, and I can mix and match them however I please. It REALLY depends on whose ass I'm kicking.

32. top five favorite vines? I know I really like Thomas Sanders? But specifics-- Oh. Oh crap, wait I have to visit my vines tag to remember my favorites. DEFINITELY "This bitch empty. YEET" because I didn't know the vine OR exclamation before I saw a fanart that had me DYING OF LAUGHTER, thinking someone just made Blue Diamond yell the word "YEET" for no reason. "FREE-shuh-VAH-cuhdu" makes me die every time. "There's only one thing worse... A CHILD" is TOP QUALITY, genuinely hits at least 3 critical notes of my sense of humor. I love the one with the guys playing the piano (I don't know what genre but it's old-school and chill) and the guy comes in and starts club dancing to it. And the umbrella one with, "Run".

33. most used phrase in your phone? ...probably "if you want"?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? I haven't seen an ad in literally years. (get uBlock Origin, it works way better than adblock! also, i don't Internet on my phone.)

35. average time you fall asleep? 11pm? (Work nights: 9-10:30, depending on my exhaustion levels. Not work nights? 1-3am.)

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? The actual LOLcats website!

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Neither; I actually use a mid-sized messenger bag and only use Personal Item Sized Bags for airplane trips. Free baggage, y'all. ;P

38. lemonade or tea? Oh tea, definitely tea. (Unless it's too-sweet iced black tea; then that watermelon mint lemonade wins.)

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Iiii actually can hardly eat either one, but Starbucks' lemon loafs were addictive (but really bad for my system) and I do love lemon meringue flavored things~

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? M e . (I did weird shit like practice reading auras, accidentally warp the moodscape of everyone around me, and get an A on a pop quiz the teacher didn't lecture about for more than five minutes.)

41. last person you texted? An old high school friend I recently reconnected with.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket, since I don't wear pants (unless work forces me to, ew).

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? I have no idea what differentiates them. =w=;; Cardigan probably, because I know they have really long flowy elegant ones I like to wear sometimes.

44. favorite scent for soap? ...ooh, that's tough... Lavender's always a good bet, rosemary-mint was a delight, I cucumber-eucalyptus was nice, and I have no idea what scent it was, but a local soap-maker at the farmer's market in the city I lived in for a couple years had this one that was made with, like, honey and red clay, and it felt AMAZING.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Damnit, don't make me CHOOSE like this! I mean, for writing obviously Superhero because I write fanfics like hell for that genre, but I guess my Pokemon fanfics count as fantasy? And, come to think of it, most of my stories center around metaphysical weirdness is some way or other, so... straddling the line between fantasy and superhero.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Nudity.

47. favorite type of cheese? ...provolone maybe? ??

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Pomegranate, probably. Gotta do some work to get to the good stuff, strangely unavailable most of the time, and once you get past all the drawbacks, it's just absolutely loaded with compartmentalized goodness.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? Bold of you to assume I only have one quote! Here's just a small sampling. ~ "Don't you want to feel? Don't you want to live your life? How much longer are you gonna give into the fear?" -Disappear, by Evanescence. ~ "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." -Edgar Allen Poe ~ "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde ~ "Guilt is a powerful motivator. Redemption, even greater." -The Unforgiving, by Within Temptation et al. "When you know in your soul who you are, you can never be corrupted again." -Raven, from the Games graphic novel. + Various quotes from my organization, along the lines of things like "Any Tom, Dick, or Harry can do your job, but only you can be there for your friends, family, and accomplish your dreams", and "When you understand WHY we do what we do, WHAT we do makes more sense".

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? My girlfriend? Most of those vines I mentioned? "OH TITS IT CAN FLY"?

51. current stresses? j o b

52. favorite font? Arial, simple yet elegant. Easy to read. I write all my stories in Arial, so I'm biased. l3

53. what is the current state of your hands? They're in Ohio with the rest of me? 8F No, but seriously, lowkey aching a bit around the finger joints from constantly dragging dogs around for a whopping 60 hours this week, but they're not burned and there's only one Tiny cut I got at work, and I still don't know why, but that's almost gone already. I like my fingernails too, they've been breaking at the corners lately but they're still Decently Long.

54. what did you learn from your first job? "Turn tables" are not, in fact, the name of a band, but an item of musical arrangement. (I worked at the Exchange and someone asked if we had anything like the turn tables. I thought they meant musically similar to a band named Turn Tables.)

55. favorite fairy tale? Does the epic poetry of the Kalevala story count? (Finland's national epic!) But I'm not a big fan of the Grimm style fairy tales.

56. favorite tradition? Going to Evanescence concerts at every single available opportunity? Wearing a bracelet my gf gave me and a ring my mother gave me any time I travel? I'm not one much for Generational Tradition at all, I do kinda like forming my own though~

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Literally just, myself. 1. Overcoming my doubt in myself. 2. Overcoming my social anxiety re: Starting Conversations. 3. Overcoming my phobia so I could, you know. Eat food.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? ?! How do you even define what constitutes a "talent"? 1. WRITING! (Creativity re: characters and the plots they're in. Descriptive writing. My mother always acts blown away whenever she reads my writing re: "how you get into the character's head".) 2. I can speak very eloquently and articulately, most of the time. And not just via verbiage; I know how to say things that Matter. 3. I can cook a fantastic stir-fry! And, apparently, really good soup. 4. I'm proud of my (non-numerical) eidetic memory, sometimes. It's kinda just There, and I'm not, like, ACTIVELY proud of it, but it sure makes things easier re: remembering friends' triggers, fandom trivia, etc.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? What makes you think I don't create each response on demand? (There's... really not something I think I say often enough to count as a catch phrase. So I legitimately have no idea.)

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Is "dark magical girl anime" a thing? Because that'd be MY thing.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? See above quotes.

62. seven characters you relate to? 1. R A VE N that's it that's the list Theeee only other ones I relate to are kinda awkward answers to give for this (re Synpathy and such related topics), but then again there's hella sympathy for Raven too, so.... 2. Ryou Bakura 3. Blue Diamond 4. Lapis Lazuli 5. Malachite (it's Complicated) 6. Sucy 7. Crona

63. five songs that would play in your club? Just insert any five Alex Dalliance songs here, I don't listen to a whole lot of Club Style Music. (Unless.... does, like, Cascada and Caramel count? Because I still kinda like their styles.) My "club" would be more like orchestrals by Danny Elfman and Evanescence instrumentals and/or live music from local rock bands.

64. favorite website from your childhood? TitansGo.Net! Screenshots, transcripts, even the forums... I browsed that site on the daily.

65. any permanent scars? Oh boy, are you sure you're ready for this? My scars fade quickly, but you'll see them if you know what to look for. One on my forearm from when I fell off a bed onto a broken fan grate at age 5 (it's a 3-inch long gash), on my left pointer finger from being bitten by an angry rabbit, scars on my heels from my comic!Raven cosplay shoes, scar on my right hip from using rubber cement to attach a scar prosthetic for a Kary cosplay (at my supposedly practical-effects-knowledgeable father's advice-- not good advice at all, for the record, don't put that shit anywhere NEAR your skin), tiny spot on my right hand from the time I became too emotional at my girlfriend's house and scraped it on her carpet, tiny dot on my left shoulder from a protruding nail in an old (pavillon without a roof thing?) we once had in the backyard, tiny line on my right ring finger from the time Belle nearly fell from right next to me and I caught her (she tried to grab something and wound up scratching me), and a scar on my right elbow from cleaning the tortilla press at Chipotle. (They didn't tell me there were protective gloves to use. They really should've told me that.)

66. favorite flower(s)? Oh gosh, I don't know. I like almost all flowers, really. I love the scent of lilac and magnolia in the air. Rose and hibiscus make lovely teas. Seeing mint and lemon balm in bloom always makes me feel contented. Willow and basswood flowers remind me of happy childhood memories at the nature reserve. Pink hibiscus flowers have Very Special Meaning to me (for the other blog, really). And of course, flowers with energy or aromatherapeutic effects like lavender are favorites, too.

67. good luck charms? Look, I don't NEED good luck.~ Confidence, strategy, and being alright with whatever happens are my "good luck charms". (And throwing a little magic at it never hurts when I REALLY want something...)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? ....I'm not comfortable answering that (phobia memories, just not gonna think about that okay.)

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? ...Remember that eidetic memory I was talking about? Every single little tiny fact I'm thinking about, I can remember how I learned about it.

70. left or right handed? Ambi, actually! 55% right. 45% left.

71. least favorite pattern? That depends on what it's for. Wallpapers? Floral (it kills my ADD, but floral patterns can make some very pretty dresses and blankets). Furniture? Paisley (but some people rock it in clothes). Furniture? any kind of fur trim (but again, it looks good on clothes). Clothing on me? Leopard and zebra (but I like it on lots of other things). My room? Checkered and tartan (but again, good patterns for other things, esp. clothing and interior styles that AREN'T associated with my room in particular, my room's just so noncomforming and cluttered that Busy Patterns like that aren't). I guess overall I'm just not a fan of highly stripey or square-y patterns?

72. worst subject? Math. Always has been. Probably always will be.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? The weirdest and actually not the grossest I tried was, out of curiosity to see what Tamaranian food might ACTUALLY taste like, I mixed sushi with ice cream. It really wasn't that bad! That one's my favorite for fandom reasons. 8P I don't do a whole lot of "weird" flavor combos otherwise.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? (Those... those are the same thing, buddy.) 8 or 9. NSAIDs, especially naproxen and ibuprofen, really irritate my stomach, so it has to be worth a week or two of Lowkey Constant Nausea to take it. For example, the last time I was waking it, I had dry socket. You know, that thing that happens when you get a tooth extracted and the blood clot doesn't form, so YOUR ACTUAL BONE IS EXPOSED for two FUCKING weeks..... and before the dental stuff, I would only take it when Monthly Stuff would get so bad, it could leave my crippled and crying on the bathroom floor for an hour. (Might've been longer if stepmom hadn't gotten me n0aproxen.....)

75. when did you lose your first tooth? Hell if I know what age that was, I think I swallowed it.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Potato soup, especially my mother's! But I also like BAKED fries (actually fried fries tend to be... Really Badly Received by my system;;), kettle chips are pretty good in small amounts, and I love those criss-cross cut fries at Mr. Hero (I just can't eat more than, like, five at a time, guh).

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I absolutely LOVED having my lemon balm. But it got the aerial blight from my peace lily, and it died with all the rest of my houseplants. :c

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Sushi from a grocery store, just because this place called Giant Eagle makes some fairly good sushi for like $5 on certain days of the week, and I think they make it every 3-4 days. Fresh, like you can see them making it right in front of you.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My passport is actually my best, I think~ Though my college ID didn't look bad, either.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Depends on what they're for. Clothes, I guess jewel tones because I like blue and purple. But for interior decorations, earth tones like deep rich browns and black are my go-to.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? They're.. the same thing? ??? I've used both interchangeably.

82. pc or console? PC, mostly because that's all I've had most of my life, and of course DC Universe Online was on my PC so maybe I'm biased. 8F

83. writing or drawing? Oooh, writing for me, all the way~ (Though I gotta do SOME drawing now and again!)

84. podcasts or talk radio? Neither, they're both too long for my ADD. And I don't... really care about most people on them? The only one I've ever seen was Amy Lee on short talk show interviews and the Steven Universe podcast with MKAtwood of course.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Neither. (I had both. Played with Polly Pocket because it came with a lot more animals, but those got lost way too easily, and I never got into the Barbie.)

85. fairy tales or mythology? They're both equally important and equally fascinating! Mythology has more Spiritual Resonance, and fairy tales have more Societal Resonance.

86. cookies or cupcakes? Depends on what kind! Oatmeal raisin cookies beat chocolate cupcakes, but red velvet cupcakes with a cream cheese frosting beat chocolate chip cookies.

87. your greatest fear? I have emet*phobia. You can look up what that means yourself because I don't even want to type the word, thanks.

88. your greatest wish? Just, freedom.

89. who would you put before everyone else? Damn it, I'm too compassionate for that answer. Whoever needs it more at that very moment.

90. luckiest mistake? Being so antisocial that the people running the ALP program made me sit with my girlfriend. I asked "Do you like Teen Titans?", and the rest is history.

91. boxes or bags? Boxes for long-term storage, bags for the daily.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Lamps, generally. Candles trump them all, but LED lamps are a lot less fire-hazard-y when you might fall asleep. lD;;

93. nicknames? RHS, RWT, Shadow, Zira (means "Shadow"), closest friends call me Rae.

94. favorite season? Winter~ It's the kindest to my easily-overheated sensibilities.

95. favorite app on your phone? Prooobably the voicemail app my or/ganization uses? I don't do much else on my phone besides, you know. Phone stuff (talk/text).

96. desktop background? PC: A shot of Raven meditating in the forest from Justice League vs. Teen Titans, with the incense and glow and her head bowed and focused and everything. Laptop: The sky as Lapis looked up at it, the gorgeous Homeworld constellation from "Ocean Gem".

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? Three. Mine, my girlfriend's, and only because she had the same phone number since I was like 8 years old, my stepmother's. Everyone else's keeps changing.

98. favorite historical era? The answer I want to give is Nexus-related, but I don’t think I have a real favorite era. I know too much about the history of misogyny, racism, colonialism, variation between eras around the world, and generally fucked-up shit in every era I've ever learned about.

[floraexplorer]

Where to Stay in Svalbard: Longyearbyen’s Best Hotels, Hostels & Camping Spots

Where are the best hotels in Svalbard?

When I decided to spend a week in Longyearbyen, Svalbard, I didn’t think too much about where to stay. Like I do when planning most trips, I just assumed there’d be a lot of places to choose from.

Not so much.

Svalbard sits at the end of the world, and the main settlement of Longyearbyen is officially the world’s northernmost town. It’s not a big place, though. With a population small enough to be outnumbered by the island’s roaming polar bears, there are only a dozen or so accommodation options – which also means that beds up here can get pretty expensive.

After doing some hasty research I chose to lay my head at the cheap and cheerful Gjestehuset 102 hostel for the duration of my stay in Svalbard – but thanks to doing a lot of walking in Longyearbyen, I also managed to investigate plenty of the other Svalbard hotels, guesthouses, hostels and even a couple of campsites.

So if you’re looking for decent places to stay in Longyearbyen, hopefully this article will help you make your choice.

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Accommodation in Longyearbyen, Svalbard

Choosing where to stay in Longyearbyen is one of the biggest potential expenses of your Arctic trip. There are expensive hotels with all the bells and whistles, mid-range guesthouses where quirky design is more of a focus than having a private bathroom, and hostel dorm rooms with bunk beds and communal kitchens.

Alternatively, you can try your luck with Airbnb rentals (sign up here for £25 off your first booking!), or you can even choose a more adventurous sleeping spot and pitch up a tent at the camping grounds close to the airport.

Whatever your budget, there’s an option to suit it – although it’s worth bearing in mind that ‘cheap’ in Svalbard still feels a lot more expensive than elsewhere in the world.

Also an important quirk to remember about life in Svalbard: once you enter any hotel, guesthouse or hostel, you’ll be expected to take off your shoes. This tradition dates back to the old coal mining days where residents wanted to avoid spreading coal dust everywhere; now, you’ll see a big shoe-rack inside virtually every Svalbard business’s doorway. Unlace your boots and get used to wandering around in your socks!

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My top tip? Make sure to book your accommodation in Svalbard as early as possible. Not only will rooms be cheaper, there’s also the possibility that hotels and hostels will sell out months in advance, particularly in the summer.

High-end and luxury hotels in Longyearbyen

Tourists arrive in Svalbard either by air or sea, so the fanciest hotels are right in the centre of Longyearbyen, close to the port. These properties all have restaurants onsite, employ concierges who will happily organise all your tours and activities around the island, and will essentially take very good care of you.

The Radisson Blu Polar Hotel

The only hotel run by an international chain in Svalbard is the Radisson Blue Polar Hotel. A lot of travellers automatically choose the Blu Polar if they’ve already used and enjoyed Radisson hotels elsewhere in the world, and it’s also the base for many of the tour groups passing through Svalbard.

Now, I’ve never stayed at a Radisson (my backpacker budget doesn’t allow for it!) but when I visited the Blu Polar I was happily surprised at its lack of ‘uppity’ attitude. The hotel is stylish and modern, with low slanted roofs, warm ambient lighting and a gorgeous interior. I spent a happy afternoon at the Radisson Blu Polar with some friends from the expedition ship: we sat in the hotel bar watching sports (not my choice!), eating pizza and drinking beer.

Check availability at the Radisson Blu Polar Hotel | Prices start from £134pp 

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The Funken Lodge (formerly the Spitsbergen Hotel)

The Funken Lodge hotel was originally constructed back in 1947 as accommodation for employees at ‘Store Norske Spitsbergen Kulkompani’ (a Norwegian coal mining company). After a big refurb in 2018 it’s now a tastefully designed place which looks a little like a Swiss lodge from the outside, and sits on a little hill – the height of which provides fantastic views!

I paid a quick visit to the Funken Lodge when a tour bus I was on dropped some passengers here, which gave me a chance to wander into the Funktionærmessen restaurant and gaze through the full-length windows to the snowy mountains beyond. There were guests sipping hot chocolate and it felt like a really cosy place to stay; especially as it’s set a little bit away from the main town, so it feels like you’re in a secluded spot.

Funken Lodge has a conference space for business guests, as well as a gym, sauna and library – but it’s apparently also really kid-friendly. Top marks go to whoever thought up serving fresh waffles to the guests every afternoon!

The Lodge is set back from Longyearbyen town centre, but there are shuttles which transport guests there and back. Alternatively it takes about fifteen minutes to walk.

Book a room at the Funken Lodge | Prices start at £130pp

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Hotel Svalbard | The Vault

The Vault hotel is right in the middle of town, a stone’s throw from the Kroa restaurant and close to the red-roofed Svalbard Kirke church. It opened in February 2018 so The Vauilt is a new edition to the Longyearbyen hotel scene. It’s simple, sleek and efficient: 35 compact rooms (mainly doubles, but there are a few single rooms too). They offer a breakfast buffet each morning and there’s a sushi restaurant in the basement.

Hotel Svalbard The Vault is inspired by the Global Seed Vault situated just outside of Longyearbyen (a huge cold storage vault where the world’s seeds are kept). The hotel has lots of information about the vault for guests to read.

Another lovely feature at The Vault is a video display which, throughout the four month darkness over winter, shows the number of days, hours and minutes until the sun comes back!

Book a room at the Hotel Svalbard | The Vault | Prices start at £130pp

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Mid-range guesthouses in Longyearbyen

In Svalbard, ‘mid-range’ accommodation should be taken with a grain of salt as they’re still pretty expensive. However, the places in this section have more of a unique and individual atmosphere.

Basecamp Trapper’s Lodge, Spitsbergen

Basecamp is an homage to the historical trapper’s lodge it’s built in: the hotel features furniture made from driftwood and it’s decorated with old sealskins, artwork and maps from Arctic history.

The sixteen rooms are each decorated individually, and they can accommodate forty people in total. In keeping with the trapper lodge theme there are no TVs – but the ‘Cognac Attic’ has a glass ceiling for guests to view either the northern lights or the midnight sun, and there’s a pub and restaurant just next door.

The Basecamp Trapper’s Lodge is run by ‘Basecamp Explorer’, a company which operates five different eco-lodges in Svalbard including ‘the North Pole Camp’, a tented camp which changes location; a trapper’s old teepee hut amongst a hundred husky dogs; and the Isfjord Radio Hotel (mentioned later in this article).

Book a room at the Basecamp Trapper’s Lodge here | Prices from £120pp

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Mary-Ann’s Polar Rigg

From the moment you walk towards the wooden boat which fronts Mary-Ann’s Polarrigg, you know you’re heading somewhere unique.

These atmospheric apartments are located inside three rigs surrounding a courtyard. There’s the mining rig, with standard single and double rooms inside; the transportation rig, which houses both luxe rooms and the spa and sauna; and the luxury rig, home to the ultra-fancy Polar Suite (£657 a night, year round).

The Polarrigg’s common area has an open fire burning, comfy sofas and thick patterned rugs and carpets everywhere. Just outside, there’s a smoking shelter in an old red miner’s bus (and the outdoor hot tub is close by too!).

[Image: Bernt Rostad]

Breakfast in the Shang Po-lar dining room each morning includes waffles and a typical Norwegian spread of meats and cheese and breads (140NOK). Check out the museum-like artefacts on the walls which come from the early mining days in Svalbard.

But it’s dinner at the Polarrig which gets everyone talking. The gorgeous Vinterhagen Restaurant feels like you’ve stepped into a conservatory: there’s plants hanging everywhere, underfloor heating and full glass windows and roof! They serve Thai dishes as well as more locally inspired Norwegian and Arctic meals like reindeer steak, Arctic trout, cod tongue and whale tartar…

Like all the other hotels in Svalbard, the on-site restaurant isn’t just reserved for guests – so if you don’t book a night’s stay at the Polarrigg you can still enjoy an evening at Vinterhagen.

Book a room at Mary Ann’s Polarrigg | Prices start at £75pp

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Budget hostels in Longyearbyen

The budget options in Longyearbyen are the Coal Miner’s Cabins and Gjestehuset, both in a little area called Nybyen which is 2km from Longyearbyen’s centre (so it takes about half an hour to walk).

There’s plenty of transport available in Svalbard, although no public transit system. Instead, there are taxis and bus pick-ups for all tours, and a shuttle bus which gets you to the airport before your flight, or which drops you at your hotel from the airport.

Coal Miners Cabins

These two-storey buildings used to be barracks for the coal miners, but they’ve now been renovated into seventy bedrooms with eight shared bathrooms along the corridors. The hotel also has a main unit where the reception, restaurant and bar are all located.

The Coal Miners Cabins is a simple, clean hotel with a Norwegian breakfast buffet on offer every morning. The Coal Miner Grill is open to the public for lunch and dinner – it’s the original mess hall and was probably my favourite place to spend my evenings (they have delicious burgers and plenty of locally brewed beer on tap too).

One of the regulars at Coal Miners Grill is a stuffed polar bear named Nanook who props up the bar and hangs out with guests at their tables. Buy him a drink if you spot him!

If you’re trying to stick to a budget, the Coal Miners Cabins also has a kitchen with utensils, fridge and oven. There are travellers of all ages staying here as it’s probably the most reasonably priced place for what’s on offer!

Check availability at Coal Miner’s Cabins | prices start at £67pp

Gjestehuset 102, Svalbard

Opposite the Coal Miner’s Cabins is Gjestehuset 102, Longyearbyen’s only official hostel, which is also built inside a miner’s cabin. There are shared bathrooms and sixty one beds in total, spread throughout single rooms, double rooms and a few four-bed dorms: I stayed in a dorm and had plenty of space to store my sizeable suitcase, along with a sink and a mirror.

The price includes breakfast in the communal kitchen each morning – a lovely spread of cereals, toast, meat, cheese and salad – and there’s free coffee and tea available all day and night.

When I first arrived in Longyearbyen, fresh off my expedition ship, it was only 10am and I couldn’t check into my dorm room until 2pm. Luckily Gjesterhuset has a little communal room with a TV and comfy chairs where I happily hung out for a couple hours and caught up on all the internet I’d missed over the last week!

Gjesterhuset 102 is Longyearbyen’s cheapest accommodation option, but it’s a perfectly adequate place to stay. For meals you can either buy groceries in the local supermarket and store them in the fridge, or head to the Coal Miners Grill just opposite.

Book a room at Gjesterhuset 102 hostel | prices start at £40pp 

Camping in Svalbard

Most people visiting Svalbard choose to sleep indoors – but for some hardy travellers, camping outside in these stunning landscapes makes total sense.

You can open up your tent each morning to see reindeer grazing, terns swooping and the occasional Arctic fox scampering past. Just don’t forget your eye mask to block out the midnight sun!

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Longyearbyen Camping Ground

About 300 metres from the airport car park and down a steep track is Longyearbyen Camping. It’s effectively ‘on the tundra’: there’s a lagoon beside it which is popular with nesting Arctic terns, and reindeer and Arctic foxes both roam the area too.

This is Longyearbyen’s original camping site, set up in 1976 just after the Svalbard airport was opened and people began to wild camp in the area. The local government built a toilet and shower block plus a fully equipped kitchen and an outdoor fire pit for grilling, and it’s been popular ever since. Facilities are only open to the public when there’s no frost on the ground, but you can still theoretically camp here year-round – just bear in mind there’ll be no access to running water or electricity in that case!

You don’t have to lug all your camping gear to Svalbard, either— the site rents out tents, sleeping bags and insulation mats for use. Tent rental is 180 NOK (£18) per night, and it costs 150 NOK (£15) per person to stay at the site (children under 13 stay free of charge). There are also bikes to rent so you can cycle into the town centre.

Perhaps most wonderfully, anyone who stays at Longyearbyen Camping is also able to hang out with the Arctic Naked Bathing Club. If you want an official certificate and your name in the logbook, rules state that you have to both take a swim and dive into the Arctic sea without your clothes, and a staff member at the camping site has to watch you do it.

I did my own Arctic plunge in Svalbard and can guarantee it’s just as freezing and exhilarating as you’d imagine!

NB: If you’re planning to hire a tent, you’ll need to reserve it before arriving (just visit Longyearbyen Camping’s website for info). The camping site only accepts cash, but there are ATMs in Longyearbyen town centre if you need them.

Other places to stay on Svalbard

If you’re keen to explore the Russian side of Svalbard, Barentsburg and Pyramiden are fascinating places.

Both Russian mining settlements, they differ significantly: Barentsburg is home to around 500 Russian and Ukrainian coal miners and their families, while Pyramiden is effectively a ghost town – it was hurriedly abandoned in 1998 and the buildings have been left to the Arctic elements ever since.

Strangely enough, both settlements have two accommodation options on offer despite their differing populations. Pyramiden has the Hotel Tulpan and the Pier Hostel, while Barentsburg has the Hotel Barentsburg and the Pomor Hostel.

[Image: Kitty Terwolbeck]

Hotel Barentsburg

It’s cheaper to stay in Barentsburg than in Longyearbyen, so plenty of tourists find themselves at Hotel Barentsburg, a comfortable place (albeit a bit old-fashioned) with 43 rooms throughout the building’s four storeys.

There’s an onsite restaurant with a great view of the Grønfjord bay to the north and views of Olaf Mountain to the south. They serve up both European and Russian cuisine for breakfast (100 NOK), lunch (200 NOK), and dinner (150 NOK).

The Barentsburg Hotel is a great place to base yourself while exploring the Russian mining settlement. Tourist favourites include the Orthodox wooden church (recently restored), the famous Lenin statue (second northernmost in the world, as the top spot goes to a similar bust in Pyramiden), the Pomor Museum, and a small smattering of street art.

In the evenings, there are Russian shows in the theatre with folk songs and dances, and live music on the weekends – or the bar at Hotel Barentsburg has Russian cognac and vodka on offer.

Check for availability at Hotel Barentsburg | Prices start at £75pp

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Pomor Hostel, Barentsburg

Pomor Hostel is housed inside another classic-looking Soviet building. There are thirty rooms with seventy two beds in total for pretty reasonable prices: a twin room costs 600 NOK (£55/$70) and a triple room is 800 NOK (£74/$93).

Guests share bathrooms and shower cabins which are dotted along the corridors, and there are washing and drying machines which can be used for free too. There’s a kitchen attached to Pomor Hostel, but if you don’t fancy cooking then the Red Bear Pub & Brewery across the road serves meals and drinks.

Check for availability at Hostel Pomor | Prices start at £53pp

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Basecamp Isfjord Radio Adventure Hotel

Welcome to the most isolated Svalbard hotel of all: the Basecamp Isfjord Radio Hotel.

As you might expect from its name, the Isfjord Radio Hotel is built inside a radio station which once linked the inhabitants of Svalbard with the Norwegian mainland. It’s 90km from Longyearbyen and extremely remote – but although it still looks rough on the outside, the Isfjord has been totally transformed within.

There’s a sauna with a panoramic view of the ocean, a library filled with Arctic literature, and restaurant which serves beautifully prepared food caught by one of the few remaining trappers in Svalbard. If you’ve ever wanted to re-live Svalbard’s traditional trapping days, this is where to do it.

The ‘adventure’ aspect of this luxury boutique hotel lies in the difficulty required to reach it: there’s no road connection, so you arrive either on dog sled in the winter or by boat in the summer (there are daily boat trips from both Barentsburg and Longyearbyen).

The Basecamp Isfjord Hotel also offers a weekly adventure program with expert guides who take guests on birdwatching expeditions and wildlife spotting trips – searching for seals, whales and even polar bears.

Check for availability at Isfjord Radio Hotel | Prices start at £209pp

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The Tulpan Hotel, Pyramiden

Have you ever wanted to spend the night in the northernmost ghost town in the world? If your answer is a resounding, “YES!” then you’re in luck: Pyramiden’s original Tulpan Hotel is open to guests from March to October, and it’s one of the few operational buildings left in Pyramiden, Svalbard’s abandoned Russian mining settlement.

The Tulpan Hotel has 24 twin rooms – some in a modern design and some more Soviet-style – and guests can stay for full or half board. There’s a restaurant on the first floor which serves breakfast (150 NOK), lunch (250 NOK) and dinner (200 NOK).

As you might expect in an abandoned town with less than a dozen residents, the hotel bar is open until 2am – and they have a LOT of vodka.

Prices from £75pp for a Soviet-style single room | Check for availability at the Hotel Tulpan

Read more: exploring the abandoned Arctic town of Pyramiden

The Pier Hostel, Pyramiden

For Pyramiden visitors on a tighter budget, there’s a rudimentary accommodation choice at the Pier Hostel,  just beside the port. Inside three cabins they have twelve bunk beds on offer, along with a shower, toilet and electric stove. The Pier Hostel is probably akin to sleeping inside a shipping container, but still has the necessities – and the location offers a stunning view of the fjord and the Nordenskiöld glacier in the distance.

For 300 NOK you’ll get a bed with included bed linen. Tip: It’s better value to book the whole cabin! If you stay at the Pier Hostel you can order your meals up at Hotel Tulpan (a 10 to 15 minute walk away) but you’ll need a gun to fend off unexpected polar bears (seriously – it’s the law).

Book a room at Pier Hostel | Prices start at £28pp

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Bartending Jobs: How To Save Money and Travel As A Bartender

Have you ever considered becoming a bartender so you can save money for travel? What about finding bartending jobs that you can do abroad? The great thing about bartending is that it’s an occupation that is needed worldwide, this is definitely one of the best travel jobs around. 

In this interview, we’re chatting with Geena (from Bartender Abroad) who is able to save enough money from her bartending jobs to travel 3 times a year, for one month at a time. One country per month is her general rule — long enough to really get a feel for the destination.

Geena’s upcoming trip is 9+ months long and required around 6 months of consistent saving (there’s some good money to be made in this career, read on to learn more). While she hasn’t needed to work while on the road, bartending is a skill she’s happy to have in case her travel funds run out. 

Read on to learn what it’s like to be a bartender, whether or not you need to attend bartending school, what sort of jobs are available, what the working conditions are like, and of course, how much you can expect to make.

First of all, tell us a bit about yourself. What’s your story?

My name is Geena and I’m a travel addict.

My number one passion is exploring this planet and experiencing all the unique cultures and traditions along the way. I grew up in rural America, was a first-generation college student pursuing a career in medicine, worked in some clinics along the West Coast, and then….I traveled.

Geena and her partner, Evan

Once I got the travel bug I realized that the only thing I wanted to do was immerse myself in this wild and crazy earth. So I quit my job and moved to Los Angeles. There I became a bartender, started travel blogging, and did some freelance writing.

And I haven’t looked back since.

Luckily, along the way I met my significant other, Evan, who is willing to put up with my constant need to explore and be on the move. More than put up with it — he encourages it and is always right alongside me.

Our favorite places we have been in the world (which I feel tells you a bit about us), are Indonesia and the Amazon Rainforest. We’re off-the-beaten-path adventure backpackers who would much prefer to be surrounded by wilderness than tourist traps.

☞ See Also: Workaway Program: An Insider’s Guide To Free Accommodation Worldwide

Tell us how you became a bartender. What made you decide to pursue this career?

It all came down to freedom! Once I decided that travel was going to be a major part of my life, my number one priority was figuring out how to make that a reality.

I needed to make decent money, have flexible hours and basically unlimited vacation days. In college, I worked as a server in a family-owned Mexican restaurant and the job had been quite lucrative. Bartending was the natural next step. And it gives me more of an opportunity to meet interesting people and talk about travel.

☞ See Also: New Orleans Bars: 10 Best Places To Grab a Drink

Bartending can be done anywhere in the world. Where have you worked your bartending jobs? 

Currently, I’ve only been a bartender in the United States. We save up a chunk of money before we travel and then we both have bartending jobs abroad as a back-up, if needed. It’s nice to have a little bit of a safety net.

Previously I worked at a bowling alley bar, a family-owned Mexican restaurant, and a hip tequila bar. Right now I work at two classy taverns. Both have great food menus but an emphasis on bar service.

Luckily for me, the close proximity to NBC and Radford movie studios means our clientele are on the wealthier side. Every now and then we get the occasional celebrity. Justin Hartley from “This Is Us”, Dr. Phil, and Winston from “New Girl” are all regulars.

You can bartend for hostels, upscale restaurants, clubs, cruise ships, and hotels as well as private bartending events. You’ll make more money in busy establishments and larger cities. This is one of the main reasons we made Los Angeles our home base. With a population that loves to socialize and 13 million people residing in the city, there is no shortage of clientele.

Geena travelling around Iceland after saving money from her bartending jobs

Do you need any necessary qualifications? (Go to bartending school, have a bartending license, or take a bartending course?)

Never go to bartending school! Don’t fall for it! I’ve worked in a variety of dive bars, family-owned establishments, classy restaurants, and upscale networking bars and ALL of them threw out resumes from bartending school.

In the restaurant industry, there is nothing compared to experience. Start out bussing tables or as a server and learn the ins and outs of the restaurant world. Then ask to be trained as a bartender with the establishment you already work for.

Once you have one bartending gig under your belt you’ll be more hirable from there on out.

Every state/country has its own liquor licensing laws. For California, I had to take a quick online course paid for by my employer. It mostly has to do with checking identification and regulations on over-serving alcohol.

Colombia was one of the trips Geena saved money for

How can people find bartending jobs?

This is the difficult part. You have to get out there and meet people — networking is key. 

You’re going to have to physically go in and ask. The thing about the service industry is they need a face in front of them or you won’t be memorable. Most establishments get at least 3-4 resumes every single day. You want to catch a bar right before they are actually hiring. Sometimes you’ll see listings on Craigslist and in that case, grab your resume and head straight there.

As for a dress code, just dress like you’re meeting your significant other’s parents. Simple, trendy, and well-put-together. Every bar has its own vibe. Some will gravitate toward those with tattoos and piercings while other’s won’t. Don’t bother covering them up. I have almost a full sleeve tattoo and I’ve never been turned away from a job.

When traveling, the best place to look for bartending work is your hostel or hotel. From there, canvas the neighborhood with resumes in hand. Meet the managers and be friendly. Much of the bartending job entails being a people-person.

Geena’s tattoos have never stopped her from finding bartending jobs

What’s the hiring process like?

For most bars, it’s very simple. If they like you and think you would mesh well with the rest of the staff they will bring you on board.

Normally, you’ll have one meeting with the manager and possibly the owner. It always helps to have a wide-open schedule and say yes to whatever shifts they can offer you. At nicer establishments, they may want you to “stage” before fully hiring you. This is basically a practice shift. To make sure you accurately represented yourself and can handle the work the job will entail.

☞ See Also: New Orleans Cocktails – 7 Must-Try Drinks in The Big Easy

What do bartending jobs entail? What’s a day in the life look like?

It’s not glamorous.

Normally you start by setting up the bar, cutting fruit garnishes, prepping fresh juices, wiping glassware and menus, stocking up on popular liquor, getting ice in your bar wells, and counting your cash registers for the day.

During service (aside from crafting cocktails and chatting with regular patrons), you’ll be changing kegs, washing seemingly endless stacks of glasses, and helping bus plates from your bar top.

Basically, you’ll be a busser, dishwasher, server, and bartender all in one.

For closing, most bars require A LOT of cleaning — melting all of the extra ice you have, stocking the shelves, air-sealing all wine bottles, wiping, and mopping the floors. Bartending jobs also include counting cash registers and doing the tip-outs for the restaurant’s day service. You’ll also have to soak all bar tools and sometimes even clean the dishwasher itself.

In reality, making drinks and talking to patrons is a very small portion of the job. But it’s the redeeming factor for sure.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

How much money do bartenders make? Any perks of the job?

This can vary greatly. You’ll be making minimum wage plus tips. So it helps to be at a bar that’s either very busy or has great tippers.

Currently, I’m working at two different bars where I make vastly different incomes. At one bar I work the brunch shifts and make around $150 USD in tips for 6 hours of work. It’s very consistent. The other job I work nights where the money I make varies greatly by day of the week. Weekdays I expect to make around $175-200 USD and weekends I’m bringing home the big bucks with $350+ USD in tips alone.

Annually I work roughly 9 months of the year and I bring home around $60,000. That’s including tips and the minimum wage of $13. Wages fluctuate a lot as a bartender. Your pay can be much more or much less depending on the number of hours you are willing to work and the level of success the bar has.

As for perks, there are plenty. Some places will have a more relaxed taxation policy for its staff. You most likely won’t get taxed on your cash tips. Maybe not even on your credit card tips depending on the establishment.

Working in the industry also gets you a discount at most bars and restaurants. It’s not a rule but it is a common form of courtesy if the establishment allows their staff to give comped drinks or discounts.

☞ See Also: Get Paid To Travel – 11 Jobs That Pay You To Explore

What sort of hours do you work?

I work for 6-8 hours, as that’s the length of the typical bartending shift in California. Some states where the minimum wage is lower may lengthen the shifts to 8+ hours.

I average 5 shifts per week. I would say most bartenders average 4 shifts per week. While saving for our upcoming long trip I increased my shifts to 7 per week.

One perk of bartending is the ability to pick up extra shifts. Most bars don’t encourage you to work doubles (or even allow it because of overtime pay) but having two bartending jobs allows you to bounce from bar to bar — if you’re willing to work 14-16 hours in a day.

Obviously, you can’t do that all the time but I do it twice a week. This way when I work 7 shifts per week I still get two full days off work. I use this tactic when I’m seriously saving for a big trip. It’s just nice to be able to increase my hours (and decrease) at will.

Working long shifts is worth it when you get to travel!

What are the working conditions like?

In a successful bar? Fun and easy-going. Typically the staff is all like-minded (often travelers) and you’ll become good friends. So with bartending jobs, you’ll get paid to hang out with your friends, make delicious drinks and chat about travel.

In a poorly run bar…nobody is happy. You’ll be able to tell right away from the attitude of the staff if they’re making good money, and whether or not the working conditions are good.

We normally have one big group party per year. Typically a Christmas party. The bar I work at now is open 365 days per year which doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for group gatherings.

At all the bars I have worked at the staff has been very close. Spending lots of time together outside of work and organizing group gatherings on their own.

Managers vary job by job. Your day-to-day is rarely monitored and management can be very relaxed…or you can have the opposite. I’ve heard horror stories of ineffective and micro-managing owners but luckily I have had kind and relaxed management throughout my bartending career.

☞ See Also: How To Find Yacht Jobs – Get Paid To Sail The World

What are the pros and cons of working as a bartender? 

There are numerous pros to bartending jobs, here are a few:

The pay is good, flexible hours, unlimited time-off, opportunity to meet interesting people, interact with the locals, great place to make friends, and one of the only jobs you can literally do ANYWHERE in the world.

Even though there are lots of pros, there are definitely some cons.

The late hours. If the bar is open until 2:00 AM you’ll often be there until 3:00 AM. Those late nights can really take their toll. I also don’t listen to music at home often anymore, just to escape the noise. It’s a bit of a sensory overload.

Also, a pro and a con…you’re on your feet all day. You come home exhausted, sore feet, and a sore back. I also lose my voice after long weekends. It definitely beats up on your body a bit. You have to be a very social and relatively fit person to withstand this profession for any long period of time.

What do you love most about being a bartender?

Maybe the job isn’t all that romantic, but what I love most is the financial independence it gives me. I’m able to work as much as I want to all over the world. Saving for trips has never been easier. It’s the ultimate financial freedom.

Travelling through Colombia’s Amazon

Any final tips and advice for those wanting to find bartending jobs?

My biggest piece of advice for those seeking bartending jobs is to simply go in person and talk to a hiring manager. Be confident and charismatic — but be sure to get some restaurant experience first.

Thanks for sharing your bartending experience and tips with us Geena! I’m sure it’s inspired people to consider becoming a bartender. The pay is great and the hours are incredibly flexible. Plus, this can be done as a side hustle, or full-time job when saving for travel, and you can bartend worldwide. If you’re a bartender, please leave a comment below and let us know what your experience has been like. Cheers!

The lead image is courtesy of Shutterstock. Other photos copyright Bartender Abroad.

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How Ayesha Curry, Khloe Kardashian and Extra Celebs Hearth Again at Mommy Shamers

Movie star mothers will not be right here in your essential feedback on their parenting abilities. From Jessie James Decker to Khloe Kardashian, stars are clapping again on the criticism they obtain on social media. This week, Ayesha Curry clapped again at a troll who left a hateful comment about her kid’s look. On Tuesday, Might 21, Ayesha shared a household picture on Instagram, during which she’s holding 10-month-old son Canon W. Jack Curry. Within the feedback of the image, one social media person wrote, “Are you pregnant once more?” “completely not LOL,” Ayesha replied. “My 30 lb son is simply breaking my again in each picture.” However then one other social media person determined to go away a essential remark about her son, which didn’t sit properly with Ayesha. “If that child is 30lbs he is received some critical well being points occurring,” the Instagram person wrote. After seeing this remark, the creator fired again, “excuse you? No. Simply no.” And Ayesha, Jessie and Khloe aren’t alone, let’s check out extra celebs who’ve clapped again at mommy shamers! Instagram / Khloe Kardashian Khloe Kardashian The Good American co-founder, who’s mother to True Thompson, is so over the hateful commentary on her parenting abilities. In an interview with  E! Information’ Zanna Roberts Rassi, Khloe Kardashian defined that she acquired criticism for going to a charity occasion with out her daughter. “I used to be at a charity occasion final weekend and I am actually making an attempt to lift cash for most cancers analysis and I am getting annihilated for being someplace on a Sunday,” Khloe instructed Rassi. “I am like, ‘She’s along with her dad, you a–hole. Like, what would you like me to do?'” Instagram Jana Kramer After sharing a video of her daughter having a mood tantrum on the dinner desk, Jana Kramer acquired essential feedback on social media. The singer and actress then took to her Instagram Story to fire back, saying, “You do not know, you do not reside on this home, you do not know what is going on on. Please do not inform me why my kid’s appearing that means. Thanks.” Instagram Ayesha Curry Ayesha Curry just isn’t right here in your essential feedback about her household. After posting a household picture to social media, one Instagram person commented, “Are you pregnant once more?” In response, Ayesha wrote again, “completely not LOL. My 30 lb son is simply breaking my again in each picture.” “If that child is 30lbs he is received some critical well being points occurring,” one other Instagram person wrote. After seeing this remark, Ayesha clapped back, “excuse you? No. Simply no.” Article continues beneath BACKGRID; Instagram Candice Swanepoel Mommy shamers went after this Victoria’s Secret mannequin when she was noticed absorbing the solar’s rays simply weeks after giving start to her second son Ariel. In a message shared to her Instagram tales, the South African stated, “That is me 12 days after having my son. In case you have one thing dangerous to say about it… Verify your self. Society may be so merciless to 1 one other. Magnificence requirements are typically inconceivable for girls lately. I’m not ashamed to point out my post-partum tummy, I’m proud truly. I carried my son for 9 months in there, I believe I’ve earned the appropriate to have a bit of tummy.” She completed her assertion by reminding her followers, “Girls, we’re all on this collectively, be variety to one another.” Instagram Kourtney Kardashian Whereas on an action-packed vacation in Italy, this scorching mama needed to take a break from her sunbathing to right an Instagram person who questioned the place the Disick kids have been. “My son was taking the picture, and the opposite two have been sitting a desk throughout from me. Thanks a lot in your concern,” the 39-year-old clapped back. Actually, the seaside getaway was in honor of her daughter Penelope‘s 6th birthday. The proud mama instructed her Instagram followers, “My little birthday ladybug makes my coronary heart extremely full every single day. So in awe of her.” Instagram Chrissy Teigen In yet one more mommy-shaming saga, the mother-of-two was criticized for not taking enough care of her son Miles, with one Instagram person commenting, “He does not look to (sic) proud of the solar in his eyes.” And, sassy as ever, Teigen replied, “He instructed me he loves it.” The drama does not finish there. The 32-year-old was later accused of being a foul instance to her daughter Luna when she pretended to steal from a Sephora retailer, which prompted the cookbook creator to make a disclaimer: “EDIT: DO NOT EVER STEAL OR PRETEND TO STEAL YOUR FRIEND’S @THEOUAI TESTERS IN FRONT OF EMPLOYEES. ONE, BECAUSE IT’S WRONG, BUT TWO, IT WILL STARTLE EXTREMELY ANNOYING PEOPLE INTO BEING EXTREMELY OFFENDED ON THE ‘GRAM.” Article continues beneath Evan Agostini/Invision/A Brittany Aldean Whereas on trip within the Bahamas, Jason Aldean and his spouse got here underneath hearth for leaving their child at residence, simply months after his start. So the brand new mother took this as a possibility to teach the haters, saying on Instagram, “Only a phrase of knowledge for all of the parent shamers… holidays are okay for brand spanking new dad and mom to take. Typically after being pregnant for nearly a yr, cooped up in a home for weeks at a time, you want a bit of sunshine and grownup time.” “When you do not agree with one thing, please… do me a favor and unfollow me. You’ll not be missed,” Brittany stated. Instagram Kendra Wilkinson In an emotional publish, the 32-year-old defended her actions—like playing video games drunk—within the weeks following her divorce from husband Hank Baskett. She instructed her Instagram followers, “I bust my ass off as a human being. I work, pay payments, handle 2 children and love them to the fullest plus making an attempt to handle myself via all of it is a 24/7 job. I do not know what the f–k a few of u haters assume u know however you higher get your heads checked as a result of your assumptions based mostly on photos and clips of exhibits make u straight up delusional.” “I drink to have a good time solely and I take pleasure in my mates. At some point I will get the credit score I deserve for all of the exhausting work I do however til’ then I will preserve doing me,” the star completed. Instagram Christina El Moussa Most just lately, the Flip or Flop star was criticized for a photograph of her toddler standing by the pool. The Instagram person claimed she was not accusing the star of being a foul mom, saying, “Nobody is a hater, however as a mom it’s scary to have a toddler being that near a pool!” The designer, who has come underneath mommy-fire earlier than, rapidly clapped again, “OMG 1. It is a seashore entry if he fell in it is solely a foot excessive, he could be okay 2. It is not his first time in or across the pool, however thanks in your “concern” aka judgment 3. AND most significantly I’m proper there and might be to him in Three seconds SMH at this …..!!!!” Article continues beneath Khloe Kardashian/Instagram Kim Kardashian After the truth star posted about North West‘s first swimming lesson again in December 2013, a Twitter troll snarked on the E! star, writing it was good to see mom and daughter collectively “for a change.” Kim tweeted proper again, “U sound so ignorant. Bc I do not tweet or instagram my each transfer w my daughter means I’m not along with her 247? We share what we would like. Or is it bc I’m going assist my fiance at each present & I publish pix? When the child goes down Four mattress or a nap, dad and mom are allowed 2 work & assist one another, perhaps even have enjoyable too.” Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP Kristin Cavallari In 2016, the previous actuality star took warmth on social media from individuals who thought her sons looked too thin in an image she posted of them of their swim vehicles. “Yep, I starve my kids. Simply blocked the most individuals I’ve ever blocked in my total life. Completely happy 4th hahaha,” she tweeted; the previous Laguna Seaside star adopted later with, “I really like that persons are sending me articles in regards to the risks of being a vegan. Perhaps ship it to somebody that is truly vegan.” Chrissy Teigen/Instagram Chrissy Teigen After coping with tons of mommy shaming, John Legend’s woman love, who had at one level switched her Twitter feed to non-public, preemptively addressed mommy-shaming points when she posted a video in 2016 of Luna with the caption, “We miss you, papa!! Cannot wait so that you can come residence! (Sure she has rosy eczema cheeks, sure we’re taking good care of it, no it isn’t a gluten allergy, no it isn’t our make-up, no it isn’t from our fragrance, sure she’s only a child).” Article continues beneath Hilary Duff/Instagram Hilary Duff The actress/singer someway stirred up controversy when she posted a photograph smooching her son Luca, which many took situation with. She finally replied “For anybody commenting {that a} kiss on the lips with my four-year-old is ‘inappropriate’ go forward and click on a fast unfollow along with your warped minds and judgment.” kolini pictures Amanda Stanton “I do not usually like to handle the trolls/mother shamers … however it’s so uncontrolled!” the Bachelor in Paradise star started within the message posted to her Instagram Story in June. “I might prefer to take a second to make clear initially that my children DO have a father that’s a part of their life. They spend time with him too. So if you happen to see a photograph of me with out my children one weekend and remark one thing like ‘mom of the yr’ or ‘wow should not she be along with her children?’ Effectively, there is a VERY good probability that I can not be with them as a result of they’re with their dad.” Stanton and her ex-husband of three years, Nick Buonfiglio, share daughters Charlie and Kinsley. Instagram Sarah Stage Whereas pregnant along with her second little one, the Six Pack Mother hit again at “ignorant” physique shamers, who took issue along with her match being pregnant kind. In August, the social media star, who was 7-months-pregnant, wrote, “Our our bodies are actually unbelievable & I really feel blessed to have the ability to develop one other wholesome child within me! I select to remain constructive & I symbolize anybody who has handled doubters, trolls & bullies. It feels nice to show ignorant individuals mistaken & even higher to know that every one you must do is imagine in your self and belief your individual instincts.” Article continues beneath Instagram Jessie James Decker “You already know, it’s form of exhausting typically since you really feel like you must filter what you publish in some methods,” Jessie revealed to E! Information in August. “I will by no means publish an image of my children of their automobile seats anymore as a result of I will get schooled on how I am not doing it accurately or it turns into this argument.” She continued, “I am not going to publish photos of them within the backseat consuming their snacks. It is not value it anymore—you ruined it!” Michael Loccisano/Getty Photos Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi The party-loving Jersey Shore alum and mom of two took to Instagram earlier this yr to fireside again at individuals who criticized her parenting, a day earlier than Mom’s Day. “So pleased with my little woman! ,” she wrote, alongside a photograph of her carrying her little woman inside a gymnasium, the place the kid had taken half in a children’ dance recital. “(As an alternative of not posting my children for the individuals who respect and admire their images , I’ll flip off the feedback part. I do not want a–holes telling me easy methods to elevate my little one and decide them. I am a rattling good mother and know what I am doing. Effectively more often than not.),” Snooki continued. Instagram Kim Kardashian “So I took a photograph of Saint and he was sitting ahead and they also say for his age, he must be rear-facing,” Kim stated in a video posted on her app in August. She’d been criticized on-line for the seat’s place. “However what individuals did not know is that Saint is now the load and the peak requirement to sit down forward-facing.” “Saint truly weighs greater than North,” Kim stated about her and Kanye’s eldest little one, 4-year-old daughter North West. “If that’s plausible, he does, and it’s wild,” she added. Article continues beneath Rochelle Brodin/Getty Photos for Haute Dwelling Jada Pinkett Smith Again in 2012, the actress was criticized for letting her daughter Willow Smith lower her hair and she or he took the chance to show individuals about feminine empowerment. “The query why I’d LET Willow lower her hair. First the LET should be challenged,” the actress wrote on Fb. “It is a world the place ladies, women are always reminded that they do not belong to themselves; that their our bodies will not be their very own, nor their energy or self dedication.” “I made a promise to endow my little woman with the facility to at all times know that her physique, spirit and her thoughts are HER area,” she added. “Willow lower her hair as a result of her magnificence, her worth, her value just isn’t measured by the size of her hair. It is also a press release that claims that even little women have the RIGHT to personal themselves and shouldn’t be a slave to even their mom’s deepest insecurities, hopes and wishes.” Rick Diamond/Bravo/NBCU Picture Financial institution by way of Getty Photos Kim Zolciak-Biermann “My candy, sensible, motivated princess @arianabiermann she has the most important [heart] and is much more lovely on the within and also you LOW LIFE assholes who’ve the audacity to make your impolite feedback, ‘she lastly misplaced weight’ ‘she lastly got here into her personal’ WTF is mistaken with you!” the Do not Be Tardy star wrote when individuals commented negatively abut her daughter Ariana‘s weight in 2015.   “You’re the drawback with society. What possesses you to sit down behind a pc and write a adverse remark?!!!! are you able to think about if you happen to took the time to write down one thing constructive or nothing in any respect how great this world could be!!! You permit my child alone she is a toddler!!!! Bought it!!!” Do not miss E! Information each weeknight at 7, solely on E! https://www.eonline.com/information/1043921/how-ayesha-curry-khloe-kardashian-and-more-celebs-fire-back-at-mommy-shamers?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-topstories&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_topstories The post How Ayesha Curry, Khloe Kardashian and Extra Celebs Hearth Again at Mommy Shamers appeared first on Kartia Velino. https://kartiavelino.com/how-ayesha-curry-khloe-kardashian-and-more-celebs-fire-back-at-mommy-shamers/