#images I added is for comparison the evidence speaks for itself

[chloesimaginationthings]

im sorry but your mike/fnafsb vanessa dynamic reminds me vaguely of the fuckass deviantart hot yaoi base so i wasted like 30 minutes of my time doing this

my brain loves to continuously shit out horrible ideas and for some reason i decide to do them

This is a greater compliment than you can even imagine

[hypocrisyofandrewdobson]

Dobson's Patreon: An Addendum to His Monument of Sins

(The following is a submission from @soyouareandrewdobson, meant to be an addendum to the multi-post submission @ripsinfest made a while back. Ironically, this one also had issues when being submitted, so I’ll be copypasting it here with all the images and links originally intended.)

In 2018, user @ripsinfest wrote a multipart series of posts for THOAD, recounting Dobson’s attempt to establish a patreon in 2015 and how it resulted in failure on a massive scale, to the point that his patreon is arguably “a monument to all his sins”.

Personally I think the post series is extremely well researched, rather “neutral” in terms of tone (letting the posts provided as evidence speak more for themselves than the opinion of the writer) and gives a detailed but quick rundown on what went wrong. Primarily that Dobson overestimated his own “value” as an artist and did NOT attempt to give his few supporters what they wanted through his artwork posted around the time.

I do however want to use the opportunity to also point out at certain obvious things that in my opinion (and likely the opinions of others) added to the failure of the patreon account, that were not accounted for in detail and are primarily related to how the internet perceives popularity and Dobson’s inability to understand, how to “sell” and make himself look good to the public.

To begin with, let’s just point out a certain truth about making money via Patreon: To do so, depends a lot on your popularity as a content creator online. That is simply because the more popular you are, the bigger your fanbase is and as such the more likely a certain percentage of people may be willing to donate money to you and your work in hopes they get something out of it, even if it is just the altruistic feeling of having helped someone they “like”. It doesn’t take a genius to see, how e.g. internet reviewers such as Linkara or moviebob (around 2800 and 4400$ earnings via patreon each month respectively) can make quite some money, while other, more obscure content creator or artists barely make money to go by, earning essentially pocket money at best.

In addition, popularity is fleeting. A few years ago e.g. internet personality Noah Antweiler aka The SpoonyOne managed to earn 5000$ a month via patreon, just shortly after establishing his account. But his lack of content over the years AND his toxic behavior online resulted in a decline of popularity and with it people jumping off his Patreon. As such, Antweiler only earns nowadays around 290$ a month via Patreon and most of that money is likely form people who have forgotten they donate to him in the first place anyway.

And Noah is not the only one who over the course of the last couple of years lost earnings. Brianna Wu makes barely more than he does, despite having once been the “darling” of the internet when the Gamergate controversy was at its peak. Many Bronies who once made more than 2k via video reviews on a show about little horses at the peak of its popularity (2013-15) earn less than 300-800 on average nowadays because interest on the show as well as people talking about it has declined.

Heck, in preparation of writing this piece I found out, that one of the highest grossing patreons nowadays is “The last podcast on the left”, a podcast that earns more than 67k a month by making recordings on obscure and macabre subjects on a regular basis.

So there you have it folks: As the interests of the internet users change, so does the popularity of certain people online and -in case they have a patreon account or similar plattforms- their chances of making money via their content.

Which now brings us back to Dobson, who was not popular at all at that particular time and managed to become even less popular as the months and years passed by.

Sure, Dobson had his fans via deviantart, people knew who he was. But the later was more because of “infamy” than popularity and the number of fans he had accumulated online were representing people interested in him at least since 2005 and did not quite represent his actual present day numbers of supporters at the time.

And mind you, the number of supporters was less than 100k, most of them likely underaged deviantart users. And if my research indicates something, then that most content creators with a halfway decent patreon earning need at least 100k+ followers in total. Because of those fans, only around 1-3% will on average then spend money on you, if you actually create content they enjoy and on a regular basis.

Which brings up the next major problem: Dobson did not create content people enjoyed and that in more than one meaning of the word.

On one hand, as pointed out by ripsinfest, he barely released any content at all over 2015 after a few initial months, despite the fact that he was obviously active online a lot, as shown by his presence on twitter. On the other hand, the few things he did create were not the stuff people wanted.

As an example: If you go to a restaurant and pay for a pizza, you expect the cook to give you a pizza. If however for some reason he just gives you a soda, you get ripped off and never come back. In Dobson’s case, the thing people wanted was not pizza but comic pages. But what he delivered was mostly bland fanart, such as of Disney and Marvel characters crossing over or KorraSami. Sure, a few strips of “So…you are a cartoonist” were still released at the time, but not really many.

To give an overview: Taking the release dates on Dobson’s official SYAC site into account, he released around 16 strips of it between March and August of 2015, the last two being “No Leia” being titled “Zip line”

Afterwards, the next official strip released was “Anything at all” in October of 2016.

Now to be fair, there was at least one more strip at the time Dobson released via patreon, that is also save to see on kiwifarms and other plattforms, which has not been uploaded to his official SYAC page. Likely because he simply forgot about it.

But I think that in itself should tell you something about Dobson’s work ethics when it comes to his webcomics. He promoted his patreon in his own video as a way to ensure he can make comics in a timely fashion again for others to enjoy, but in an environment where certain artists are capable to create multiple strips per week at minimum, Dobson could overall not manage to produce more than 16 over a course of six months, which means an average production of 3 strips per month.

For comparison, Tatsuya Ishida of the infamous sinfest webcomic (a garbage fire of epic proportions from a TERF who I think should be put on a watch list) has produced on average 4 strips per week, including full page Sunday strips, for years and nowadays even releases stuff on a daily basis to pass the covid crisis. So a mad man who wants to see trnas people die, has better work ethics than Dobson.

In other words, people expected Dobson to actually get back into creating comics (with some even expecting a return of Alex ze Pirate), but he got in fact even lazier than before, releasing only SYAC strips and random fanart as a product. Which he then also tried to justify as his choice to make because a) he had mental health issues and b) no one can tell him what to do.

And sure, people do not need to tell you what to do. But when people pay/donate money to you expecting to get a certain product in return, they should get the product. Linkara e.g. by all means doesn’t NEED to review comics to have a fullfilling life, but he got famous for his reviews, people want to see his reviews and they pay him for those reviews. So obviously, he will continue those things.

Then there is also the fact that despite Dobson’s claims how he wants to create comics for everone to enjoy and that he aims to keep his artwork online for free so anyone can view it…(his exact words in his promotional video AND text on his patreon once upon a time)

…the reality was, that he wanted to use patreon as a paywall. Something I actually kinda pointed out at on my own account (shameless self promotion) once, but want now to elaborate a bit. Basically at the time Dobson opened up his patreon, he also was on the verge of leaving deviantart as a platform people could look at his work behind. Which he eventually did.

Meaning that the only major platforms for people to watch any “new” stuff by him were his patreon or art sites such as the SYAC homepage or andysartwork. Which granted, he did EVENTUALLY put his stuff on.

But unlike other content creators who would put “patreon exclusive” new content up on more public plattforms often within a few days, weeks or a month after making them “patreon only” at first, Dobson waited longer and did barely anything to promote his sites as places to look his stuff up for a public audience. In doing so creating a “bubble” for himself that hurt him more than it helped, as Dobson made himself essentially come off as a snob.

A snob who did not create content for everybody to enjoy, but ONLY for those willing to pay him at least one dollar per month. As evident e.g. by the fact that as time went by, certain content was never released outside of his patreon at all, such as a SYAC strip involving Dobbear screaming at the computer because he saw a piece of art that featured tumblr nose.

Lastly, there is the issue of his patreon perks and stretch goals.

See, his perks were essentially non existent. Aside of the beggars reward of “my eternal thank you if you donate 1 dollar”, two other perks that come to my mind were the following: If you donated up to 5$ at minimum, you got your name thrown into a lottery to potentially win buttons and postcards of his artwork. Unsold cheap merch from years prior he failed to sell at conventions basically. There was just a problem with that thing: That lottery thing, which he also was only going to initiate when he reached a stretch goal of 150 dollar a month? It was illegal!

Patreon itself has in their user agreement a rule that forbids people from offering perks that essentially boil down to “earning” something via gambling, which this lottery by Dobson was.

(THOAD chiming in here to add that, in addition to all this, he fully admitted he would be excluding Patrons that he “knew were clearly trolls” from the lottery. Which made the already illegal lottery also fixed, so...yeah.)

The next thing coming to mind was his “discount” on previous books of his he offered online, if you donated at least 10 bucks per month to him. Or to translate it: You would get a bare minimum discount at pdf files of books such as Alex ze Pirate and Formera (you know, the permanently cancelled Dobson comics) if you paid up 50-75% of their original price on Patreon already. And considering the quality of his early works, he should have given you at least a book per month for free if you dared to donate him that much.

As for the stretch goals… lets go through them, shall we:

100$: A wallpaper per month. Something he did provide with eventually, but barely. And after less than five of those he stopped to make them overall

150$: Monthly Gift basket Lottery, which as I stated, was illegal and almost got him into serious trouble with his account. Also not an initial stretch goal he made up but instead came up with a few months into his accounts existence. Finally it got temporarily replaced by Dobson playing with the idea to use 150$ per month to open up a server and art site where people could upload stuff for free similar to deviantart, but under his administration. Promising a “safe space” for other artists. Which considering Dobson’s ego and inability to accept criticism or delegate responsibilities would have likely ended like this:

175$: Establishing a Minecraft server for him and his fans to play on. Meaning Dobson would have just wasted time he could spend on creating comics to endulge in his Minecraft obsession.

200$: Writing a Skyrim children book. Aside of the legal nightmare that this could have been (I doubt Valve would have been happy of someone else profiting of their property) I have to ask, who was even interested in Skyrim by 2015 anymore? Sure, Skyrim was a popular game and it had its qualities, but it was also a trend that had passed by that time. So in other words, there was not a market to cater towards here.

300$: A strip per week guaranteed.

… are you fucking kidding me? 75$ per strip essentially? Something people expect you to produce anyway if you want to be considered a “prolific” creator worth supporting online? Imagine if certain internet reviewers would do that, telling you that if they do not earn at least a certain amount of money, they will not produce anything, period, or less than usual. And Dobson had already proven that he can release more than just one comic within a few days, if he is motivated by enough spite.

600$: Starting a podcast with his friends to talk about nerd culture. In my opinion could only work under the assumption that people even like the idea of listening to Dobson and his opinions. Which considering how very little people like talking to him sounds doubtful. Also, considering how Dobson tends to be late to the party when it comes to nerd culture, likely tending to be out of date faster than he could upload. Finally... what friends?

700$: Returning the love, as he says it, by donating some of the money patreon users gave him to other content creators. This in my opinion is the most self defeating cause possible. On one hand sure, being generous and all that. But essentially Dobson admits here he would blow the money people give him to support HIS art on others, essentially defeating the purpose of HIS own account. He also does not clarify how much of that money he would donate, meaning there was a high chance that he would spend less than 10% of it on other creators, only creating the illusion of support while putting the actual earnings/donations into his own pocket.

2000$: A massive jump ahead. 2000$ per month would result in him getting better equipment (as in a new computer e.g.) and as such “potentially” make more comics. Mind you, only potentially.

This goal in my opinion is also the most fucked up one. Primarily for the following reasons:

Lets say Dobson would have achieved the goal and actually earned over 2000$ per month for at least a year. His annual earning would have been 24k, minus whatever he had to pay as taxes and payment for using the patreon service. And what would he do with this money? Get himself a better computer and equipment by paying a minor fraction of it once. Then he could use that computer for years to come while still having over 10k in his account, plus his monthly earnings. And he may still just produce 3-4 comics a month of a series that has as much depth to it than Peppa Pig if not less.

Sure, many patreon users have 2k+ as a stretch goal on their accounts to signify that if they could make that much monthly, they could have the necessary financial security to focus their time primarily on their content instead of a regular job. And if the content they create is actually well made, many people would support that or be okay with it.

But 2000 dollars to buy ONE computer and not account for how this money will add up over time? And that in light of such profits people may actually expect you to create more than you barely do already? That is either a case of narcissism, plain stupidity because you can't look further than 5 feet or just shows how Dobson did not understand at all the tool he had at his disposal.

Bottom line: Dobson, like many times before, fucked it up. He overestimated the potential support and resulting profits he could make, he expected that his name alone would be enough to assure gainings instead of creating content to justify support and he was unwilling to really give his supporters anything worthwhile back.

And while I am sure that there were also many other factors guaranteeing his failure, those at least to me, were his "common" mistakes most other people familiar even with the basics of internet popularity would ahve avoided.

[meditativeyoga]

Yoga Research Comes of Age: New Review Charts the Many Health Benefits of Yoga - Part I

The field of yoga exercise research has actually skyrocketed in the past decade. This implies that we are learning much more concerning why and also exactly how yoga exercise works (as well as doesn't work) than we have actually ever before had before. This is amazing news for the millions of yoga professionals, educators and also therapists interested in using the concepts of yoga to obtain health as well as wellbeing.

Several years ago when I created the write-up, Why Yoga exercise Research study Has A Lengthy Means to Go, several yoga exercise research studies were reduced in top quality, experiencing little sample dimensions, low analytical power, weak research layouts, poor measurement, and also clouded interventions. As a result, it was tough to be positive about the results. Several of these variables linger, a new write-up published in Complementary Treatments in Professional Method, discovers that the volume of high top quality study proceeds to expand. Below is exactly what we have discovered so far.

Trends in Yoga Research

There has actually been a remarkable surge in the volume of yoga exercise study given that 2007, with approximately 200 researches being published yearly considering that 2011. One evaluation of yoga exercise researches located 486 short articles from 29 various nations consisting of greater than 28,000 individuals released in 217 different peer-reviewed journals in between 1967-2013.

More significantly, this analysis disclosed that 45% of the studies consisted of randomized regulated tests (RCTs). RCTs are preferable since they enable us to compare the results of a yoga intervention team with those of a control team. We then could presume that any kind of adjustments in the results of interest are the outcome of the yoga itself, rather than purely by coincidence. Of those researches making use of comparison teams, the bulk used a no-treatment control team, while the rest included an active team that received either exercise (43%), relaxation/meditation (20%), or some kind of education and learning (16%) as choices to yoga.

Who Is Practicing Yoga exercise as well as Why?

A 2016 survey noted that about 21 million Americans reported exercising yoga during the past year. Of those participants, 66% suggested that their key reason for practicing was to enhance power, adhered to by improving immune feature (55%), and also health and disease avoidance (28%). The population of yoga exercise trainees is coming to be extra demographically diverse, the majority of practitioners proceed to be white, enlightened women. Offered present fads, that image is most likely to change as even more guys as well as women of all ages, sizes and histories proceed to adopt a routine yoga practice.

Who Is Being Studied and Why?

Most yoga exercise studies continue to be conducted with adults (85%), with 34% of those individuals being elderly. To day, just 10% of researches consist of youngsters. Normally talking, yoga research studies include participants with a target problem such as kind 2 diabetes mellitus, clinical depression, bronchial asthma or bust cancer cells, as opposed to a smaller sized number that consisted of healthy people (27%). Of the released study, the most usual targets for intervention include discomfort, stress and anxiety, stress and anxiety, depression, and also the effects of cancer treatment.

What Sorts of Yoga exercise Are Being Studied?

There continuouslies be substantial irregularity in the styles as well as practices on which the interventions are based. Just 11% of research studies utilized some form of Hatha yoga exercise, with the staying 89% using one or even more of 46 other designs of yoga exercise. Since of this variability, and the lack of duplication of these researches, it is presently difficult to understand which facets of a yoga exercise intervention are reliably pertaining to change.

Overall Physical Benefits

The most generally analyzed physical benefits of yoga method consist of adaptability, fitness, equilibrium, muscular endurance, as well as spinal mobility.

In regards to versatility, yoga exercise was frequently pertaining to enhancements in adaptability in the back spinal column and hamstrings. For toughness, evidence shows that stances like descending dealing with could reinforce stomach musculature, whereas positions like warrior pose as well as chair posture improve gluteus maximus muscular tissue stamina. Various other research studies recommend that both top body and also abdominal muscular endurance rise as a function of frequent yoga practice.

Overall, yoga seems related to better gains in adaptability and also balance compared with other kinds of workout, and sluggish activities often tend to be much more reliable in obtaining better flexibility compared to fast postural shifts.

Cognitive Benefits

While there are couple of studies of the cognitive advantages of yoga exercise to this day, arising evidence from one systematic evaluation and also one meta-analysis recommend that regular yoga practice is connected to renovations in working memory, response time, attention, processing rate as well as general executive function.

The greatest proof of cognitive advantage originates from researches of skilled meditators, and also those utilizing meditation as a main intervention. These researches constantly reveal that regular reflection is connected to raised quantity and also connectivity of the prefrontal cortex (exec functioning) and also hippocampus (memory), and also lowered volume of the amygdala (emotional reactivity). More study is had to evaluate the general useful importance of these findings.

Effects on Stress, Psychological Well-being as well as Psychological Health

The impact of yoga on physical and also psychological anxiety continuouslies be among the most widely studied results in the yoga exercise study literature. This is likely due to that stress, particularly when chronic, has the possible to hurt every one of the significant systems in the body (cardiovascular, respiratory, intestinal, endocrine, immune, musculoskeletal and so on), which yoga exercise practices that stress relaxation seem distinctly efficient in minimizing the stress and anxiety response.

Yoga and Stress Reduction

In a review of the researches of yoga exercise for tension reduction, researchers located that 12 of 17 studies revealed positive physical and psychological results complying with a yoga intervention. Researchers are remaining to explore the effect of yoga exercise on 4 major stress and anxiety systems: the posterior hypothalamus where cortisol is initial launched, total cortisol levels in the bloodstream, and also quantities of interleukin-6 as well as C-reactive protein( both pens of swelling). This will likely be an encouraging instructions for future yoga exercise studies.

Yoga and Emotional Wellbeing

Generally speaking, yoga exercise research on emotional wellbeing has concentrated on modifications in favorable as well as negative feelings. Research studies continually show that positive emotion often tends to boost following engagement in a yoga course or program. It is thought that these psychological benefits could be connected to useful modifications in mind connectivity in frameworks consisting of the caudate, basic ganglia, as well as cortical-thalamic feedback loops.

Unfortunately, this location of study has been hindered by elements discussed earlier such as little example dimensions, different designs of yoga treatments, absence of matched control groups, and variable dosages of yoga interventions. A lot more study will certainly be needed to disentangle exactly how and also why yoga exercise interventions might be related to mood enhancement.

Yoga and also Posttraumatic Stress Problem (PTSD)

PTSD is one of the most severe kinds of persistent anxiety, commonly leading to debilitating levels of stress and anxiety and mood disruption, as well as substantial unfavorable effects on lifestyle. Some researches locate that yoga exercise interventions could be helpful for individuals detected with PTSD. Outcomes are not as conclusive when yoga exercise has actually been as compared to various other kinds of therapy, however.

In general, normal yoga exercise method has been connected to declines in PTSD symptoms as well as anxiety, in addition to decreases in substance usage. Added high top quality research studies will certainly be needed to further check out yoga exercise's advantages for those with PTSD.

Yoga as well as Stress and anxiety as well as Panic Disorders

In light of its capacity to minimize the physiological as well as psychological impacts of anxiety, yoga exercise seems to hold excellent guarantee for the therapy of anxiety-related signs. Studies of individuals with light, modest and also extreme anxiousness find that constant yoga exercise practice is linked with decreases in stress and anxiety, along with decreases in heart rate and also systolic blood pressure. Likewise, in research studies with those diagnosed with panic problem, a much more extreme kind of stress and anxiety, participants reported decreases in both stress and anxiety, and also panic-related physical sensations, although these decreases were most pronounced for the group in which yoga was integrated with cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

Yoga and Depression

In current years, the effects of yoga exercise and also reflection interventions have been compared to those of antidepressant drugs. This research study is still in the early stages, testimonials recommend that yoga exercise might be effective for minimizing signs of anxiety, and also that yoga might be distinctly helpful due to its capability to alleviate stress and anxiety, which is frequently connected with mood disturbance. In basic, researches sustain the recommendation that received yoga might give an useful, adjunct treatment alternative for those with clinical depression, as well as assist to relieve associated symptoms consisting of ruminative ideas, anxiousness, stress, and also poor quality of life.

Yoga and Overeating

One of the mechanisms of overeating explored in yoga studies has been reduced distress resistance. Those who have a reduced capacity to handle distress have a tendency to prevent emotional experiences, and participate in disruptive experiences such as overindulging to relieve their adverse feelings.

In one study, ladies that were randomized to a twice-weekly, 8-week Hatha yoga group reported substantial reductions in emotional eating as compared to wait-list controls. In another research study, adults that participated in a 10-day yoga exercise intervention revealed reduced weight as well as BMI, a smaller waist-to-hip ratio, as well as lower blood sugar and also pro-inflammatory cytokine degrees. These changes in fat burning and systolic blood stress were preserved at a 30-day follow-up.

Prenatal Benefits

Yoga has actually ended up being significantly preferred amongst pregnant mommies intending to soothe anxiety and also boost well-being during their pregnancy. This has triggered some worry concerning the safety and security of certain practices for both expecting females and their coming children.

In a research examining the strength level of a prenatal yoga course for healthy expectant ladies, scientists located that females's energy expense was classified as sedentary 93% of the moment, with only 7% of courses being thought about of modest physical strength. Physical information gathered suggested that there were no pre-to-post session distinctions in women's heart rate, temperature, or fetal heart price, and also that there were no drops or injuries during the course of the intervention. These findings persisted as late as 38 weeks right into gestation.

On the entire, researches reveal that yoga is useful for expecting moms, alleviating prenatal clinical depression and also anxiousness, as well as boosting fetal development. A meta-analysis of 6, randomized controlled trials located that clinical depression and also anxiousness were lowered in yoga exercise team participants. This was especially the case when methods included breathing and meditation.

A methodical testimonial of 10 randomized controlled trials discovered that yoga individuals had a reduced occurrence of prenatal disorders, greater partnership ratings, less records of discomfort and stress and anxiety, as well as better gestational age of their spawn. A single research likewise noted dramatically increased fetal growth in mothers attending yoga exercise throughout the 12th to 28th week of their maternity. The study is marginal, there are indicators that yoga may assist to lower the signs and symptoms of prenatal anxiety as well.

Is Yoga Safe?

The solution to this inquiry is that it depends on a multitude of elements consisting of professional age, health and wellness and also physical problem, as well as the nature of the asana (physical positions). As a whole, research recommends that yoga is no much more harmful compared to exercise, nevertheless a substantial number of people have actually reported that yoga exercise courses are literally as well as emotionally stressful.

In general, researches where adverse events were reported had the tendency to include senior people, persons in inadequate physical wellness, and those with chronic musculoskeletal disease. Extra study is needed to much better recognize which kinds of method are best matched for different ages and stages of life.

Barriers to and also Incentives For Exercising Yoga

A variety of researches have evaluated obstacles to exercising yoga, as well just what motivates individuals to exercise routinely. Among the barriers are time, price, stereotypes regarding the called for flexibility, athleticism, and also the look of yoga exercise trainees, and a lack of pragmatic information regarding what yoga exercise involves. Conversely, the incentives for technique included health promo and also psychological well-being, looking for remedy for pain, athletic search, and also a feeling of community.

In basic, the study sustains the proposal that yoga exercise could be a risk-free and also efficient corresponding technique to avoidance as well as wellness for a selection of physical and also psychological symptoms. Partially II we will analyze just what is understood about the benefits of yoga exercise for medical ailments including heart problem, discomfort, auto-immune conditions, osteoporosis, mental deterioration, and also other aging-related conditions.

[lordsicheng]

The ideal types of The Boyz (1/3)

*disclaimer at the bottom of the post!

This part will be covering Sangyeon, Jacob, Younghoon and Hyunjae. Other members will be posted soon!

Sangyeon - Venus in Libra, Mars in Virgo

someone who is charming, kind, confident

someone who is respectful, he sees this as an important aspect he sees would want in a partner

he generally is attracted to the more feminine side when it comes to fashion style

think cute dresses, light makeup, all the aesthetics really

he might also be attracted to anyone who was inclined to the arts! may it be a painter, a designer, a musician, etc

he also would like someone he can connect with on a very friendly level - likely to have a “friends to lovers” type of relationship with someone

considering his Venus sign is ruled by Venus itself, the planet of love and beauty, he can be quite the romantic when it comes to relationships

added with his Mars in Virgo (usually I only add this for the more sexual/instant types of attraction), he would be attracted someone who was more practical and loyal, somewhat a little bit independent. however he would also like someone who was dependable to him, just not overly clingy

he can slightly, just slightly, tend to be the clingy type (he also has a Leo moon)

i also see him liking someone with an elegant style, this could add as an instant attraction as if someone were to “dress to impress” than “dress to express”

his venus squares his jupiter, it’s likely he’ll fall for someone within his circle of friends and would approach them through the lightest to even the deepest of talks, slowly falling for someone he can connect with 

his venus opposites his saturn, which can go either way but i see that he may possibly fall in and out of love easily which can be conflicting. he wants to love someone but doesn’t know when he can admit it to them or even sometimes, to himself. this can also denote that if he was in a relationship, he’d be too “sacrificial” and a giver, sometimes forgetting his own needs which can be concerning 

another aspect he has is that his venus trines his uranus, may want to have a relationship with a unique flair or doesn’t want to be tied down for too long. if he wants to go on long-term with someone, he may want lots of freedom as well

Jacob - Venus in Gemini, Mars in Virgo

we all know he has a bit of a shy nature and I believe this is from his Pisces moon (and possibly rising sign), so someone who he could confide to with anything definitely 

i personally don’t think he is particular when it comes to looks, like at all

but if we were to put it, someone with a clean and preppy sense of style could fit his taste

I see him as someone who would fall in love within his circle of friends as well or would want to be friends first with his future partner, although he can be seen as a “player” at first (Gemini venus thing? idk) but he actually just wants to fall for someone close to him first

because both Gemini and Virgo are ruled by the Mercury, the planet of communication and the mind, he is definitely gonna want someone he can talk to about anything and everything

intellectual talks, serious talks, 2am pillow talks

would fall for someone who was very interesting to talk to as if he’d want to talk to them for hours

someone with good morals and is respectful of those around them

someone honest and has a sense of loyalty, someone who can actually tie him down for whenever he becomes “flighty” 

i personally think with his Pisces moon and Gemini venus, both makes him possibly have had lots of crushes, without realizing (Pisces) or just that he is afraid of admitting it (kinda common for some Gemini placements) and just lets it go as if he doesn’t know a single thing about love even though he totally knows

but having his Venus in an air sign, he can be very playful and talkative

with his Virgo mars, he would want a stable relationship where he sees himself committing to someone for a really long time

his venus and mars square each other, which can show that he can get a little bit sensitive (along with his Pisces moon), would want and need emotional security but can sometimes afraid to admit it so it’s very important for him to be with someone understanding and patient

but on a good note, his venus trines his jupiter, making him someone who is very generous and giving, so i see him as someone who would value his partner’s happiness very much and would do anything to make them happy

Younghoon - Venus in Virgo, Mars in Libra

this is very interesting because this shows that he is actually quite the romantic guy who just wants to find someone he can be with for a long time

yes, his Virgo Venus can be slightly, just slightly, have some sort of “high standards” as people would say

but it doesn’t mean he’s picky

he’ll search and search until he can feel like finally feel like he’s got the connection with someone at one point

in fact, because of his libra mars, he could probably be one of those types who would date often and would have a hard time trying to find “the one”

in terms of attraction, he’d like somewhat of a person with a very friendly vibe and who is very good in taking care of themselves

remember when he said his ideal type is someone with aegyo/who is cute? yes, usually Venus in Virgo men like partners who can tend to be on the feminine, cutesy type who are also great nurturers

he just wants someone who he can take care of and who can also take care of him and look out for him, as well as support him

he also would like someone who gives their all in what they do, someone who always is sure of their own efforts

seeing that he has venus conjunct mercury, he sees communication as a basis for his future relationships

it’s possible he is also the “friends to lovers” type, however he wouldn’t know until he feels like he has fallen for anyone he already knows

it also shows that when he falls in love, he will be very loving and appreciative of his partner’s efforts in their relationship

he might also write a song about them in the future, as if his partner was his muse!

he just wants to be loved, nurtured, and appreciated so someone who has a very kind heart who isn’t afraid to voice out their opinions with him would be fitting

Hyunjae - Venus in Scorpio, Mars in Scorpio

lol we have the same venus and mars sign

something tells me he would like someone who was somewhat of a femme fatale

someone charismatic, magnetic, mysterious. heck, he might even fall for someone who he knows is dangerous for him

take care of yourself boy

on top of that, he would definitely like someone who knows what they’re doing and isn’t afraid to show their sexuality

once he falls he actually won’t be as direct-- he either throws around some hints or just ends up staring at them for too long, too obviously

but let’s say that for once, he would like someone who was more on the cutesy type-- very possible

someone that can just sweep him off his feet and not be afraid to let him take the lead

cute and yet has a very daring side iykwim *winks

anyways, behind his loud and playful persona is actually a dark and intense lover

Mars is the traditional ruler of Scorpio, so yes, the intensity and directness that exudes from the signs already ruled by Mars can be evidently seen when this particular sign is put into Venus and Mars, aka their relationship quirks

Since Scorpio is now known to be ruled by Pluto, this shows that their energies when placed in Venus and/or Mars are of a secretive nature

i’m probably mind boggling people right now but for short-- he wants to feel all sorts of connection with his future partner, emotionally and physically

i won’t go in too deep, but yes you’ll know what he’s gonna be looking for with his partner in the future since he sees this as a very important part of their relationship, yes

lowkey, he’s gonna be the easily jealous and possessive type

but he’s very protective and will sacrifice so many things for his future partner!!

he has moon square venus, a harsh aspect that shows that he may come off detached and would crave a partner ever so often in his life, sometimes he might get into relationships without thinking about the consequences first

he also has venus sextile mercury, would value lots of communication and mental stimulation with a partner. may also charm his way to his future partner’s heart 

ayayay, he has venus square uranus which can be conflicting but we wouldn’t really know. he will possibly get into short term relationships or ends up messing around with his dating life, in which he shows he wants independence and personal freedom in relationships. this aspect is also shown for those who don’t really feel like getting married and would go for the more non-traditional ways of being with someone for the long-term (living together, etc)

he has venus square neptune as well, might have problems of showing or growing his self-image when in love and may show a different persona from the beginning to midway. this also shows very strong selflessness when in love, would also denote that his insecurities can be shown and blown out of proportion during a relationship which can cause conflicts with his partner (because for short, he could have a hard time loving himself first before anyone else 😭)

Disclaimer: Take note that I discussed their ideal types in terms of their Venus and slightly their Mars signs, also slightly how they will be like when with their partner/when in love. I’m also not an expert and I am only speaking of my own interpretation and of a friend’s who has practiced astrology for five years.

If you ask me why I added their Mars sign for the hyung line instead of just their Venus in comparison to the younger ones, it’s because it also adds through their basis of physical/sexual attraction and also their impulse for when they feel like they’re feeling a “magnetic” kind of attraction to someone. Usually we only look at Venus as a basis since it helps us know what we find beautiful and attractive, Mars helps on the magnetism of attraction if you may. Idk if I’m making any sense, but yes you may research it more if you may. Google can help.

This may vary and I am viewing this through astrological placements. They may also have personal preferences and personal lifestyles to take note of, so this will go either way. It doesn’t always mean that astrology and these interpretations are 100% accurate. This is only to give you guys a bit of an idea and so.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Wan High Weeping (Part 35)

So my computer is still having issues. It basically nuked itself and so I lost a good portion of my outline for this fic and the entire document that helped me keep track of certain details (such as what professor taught which classes) and what event happened when. Basically I'm going in somewhat blind now. Like I'm relying solely on memory and mine isn't the best. So advanced apologies for any continuity errors, because I lost the documents that helped me prevent those. :/

Katara woke up feeling groggy and weak. She couldn't seem to recall how she had made it into her bed. She was at a party, wasn’t she? She was mad at Sokka, she faintly recalled. She tried to sit up, a wave of dizziness overwhelmed her. It occurred to her that she wasn’t in her bed at all. Everything was white from the walls to the bedspread to the gown she was wearing.

The gown!

She was in a hospital gown.

She closed her eyes, trying to recollect how she had gotten there. She remembered the party. She remembered the irritation. She remembered calling out to Aang and hanging out with TyLee. But it was all so distant.

She looked around the room for anyone who could help explain things to her. Finding no one, she reached for her phone. She checked her texts, all of them were panicked and desperate. Most of them had been sent to Sokka and Suki and then a few to Aang and one to TyLee.

She lifted a hand to her head, it hurt so badly. She wished that she knew how long she had been out for. Scrolling through the messages a picture began painting itself in her head, growing in clarity with each message. Jet had been following her the whole time and at some point she had begun to feel faint.

The rest was a black spot in her mind.

A black spot she could easily fill.

He had done it, he had gotten her.

She didn’t need the memories to push her to tears, the implication was enough. With trembling hands she checked to see if her social media pages had been tampered with, she could see Jet toying with those. But her accounts hadn’t been touched. So she looked at her photo collection.

A decision she grew to regret with a great depth.  

He had used her camera very generously. It was hard to conceptualize what she was seeing. Hard to believe that she was really seeing pictures of her own body strewn out with her shirt pulled up to reveal her bra and a skirt that was pulled just unsettlingly lower.

He had posed her.

He had taken the time to capture her in many different angles.

She didn’t want to know anymore so she set the phone aside and wept. He had done it, he’d gotten her. She was soiled and violated. She gasped out another sob. Why had she gone to that stupid party. She had known that it was a dreadful idea. How could she have let Sokka talk her into it? Why had he tried to do so in the first place?

How could he and Suki have just left her alone when they knew…

She didn’t understand and it was destroying her.

He hadn’t meant her any harm, but lord did he tarnish his reputation as the smart, role model older brother.

It occurred to her that he wasn’t even there.

She needed him so badly and he wasn’t even there.

She wanted to send him a text but the thought of unlocking her phone to see herself so exposed…

She couldn’t stomach the thought of it, let alone actually doing it. She’d have to ask someone else to go through and delete them. But, until she talked to the police, they’d have to remain on her phone.

She curled herself into a ball and sobbed harder.

There was a knock on her door and she heard someone speak. The words never quite computed. She didn’t want company that much. But she found it anyways in the form of Aang and Toph.

For a moment she could forget. “Toph!” She threw her arms around the girl. “Where have you been?”

“Well, I can’t exactly go to school.” Toph muttered. “I guess that’s okay though, because Wan High is basically a mental institution disguised as a high school and from what I’ve heard it’s been nothing but a mess.”

Toph wormed her way out of the embrace and Katara caught sight of her eyes. They had a foggy film over them.

“What happened?”

“So it was pretty crazy, right? I was in my room and suddenly I see this bright beam of light. Next thing I know, I’m lying on a surgical table and these aliens are looming over me. They told me that they were going to give me night vision. I didn’t realize that they meant that I’d only see darkness like it’s always night time.”

Katara sighed, but she was happy to let the tall tale take her away from a brutal reality.

“Anyways, because aliens do unethical things, I am now blind so I’ve been in and out of the hospital a lot. It doesn’t leave much time for school. Actually, I requested the room next to you.”

“Will you be able to see again?”

Toph’s face fell some. “They’re trying, but they’re also starting to suggest some school that work with blind kids. I’m learning to read braille and I might be getting a dog!”

“A dog?”

“I helped her pick him.” Aang remarked. “His name is Appa! He’s really big and I think that he’d be a good match for Toph.”

“I have a feeling that he wasn’t describing any of the other dogs very accurately. But I can’t see for myself, so I have to take Twinkle Toes’ word for it.”

“That sounds really exciting Toph! The dog part, I mean. You said you wanted a dog, right?”

Toph nodded, “I guess that’s one good thing.”

The door opened a second time. Katara expected to see Sokka and Suki standing in the doorway, mirror images of concern. Instead her parents walk in. Her mother’s eyes looked as swollen and red as her own. She hugged her tightly. “Oh God.” She whispered to no one in particular. “I knew that I shouldn’t have let you go to that party! You’re brother, he’s so irresponsible.” She was rubbing her head, looking wholly exhausted. She reminded Katara so much of herself.

“Mom, where is Sokka?”

“Your brother got himself arrested.” Hakoda replied. She couldn’t assess anything from his tone.

“F-for what?” Katara half-whispered.

“For beating up an underage boy.”

“That wasn’t a boy, that was a monster.” Kya grumbled.

“As far as the law sees, he’s an underage boy.” Hakoda replied firmly.

And Katara was teary eyed all over again. “This is all my fault.”

“Oh no. No, no, don’t say that honey.” Her mother’s arms were around her again, this time even tighter.

“But he was defending me.”

“And that’s what you’re going to tell the police when they take you in for questioning.” Hakoda replied.

“I can’t! Not today.” Katara winced.

“No, not today, they’re going to give you some time.” Kya replied.

“But the sooner, the better.”

.oOo.

Sunday was a dream in comparison to the mishap that was Monday. Sunday she got to see Aang and finally got to hear from Toph--good news no less! They hadn’t left her side until their respective families had ushered them home.

Monday showed her no friendly faces. She was faced with a few final tests, mostly concerning what affects the drugs had on her and then she was ushered away for the questioning that had been promised.

The officer, who introduced himself to her as officer Yu-Ron opened up their session with an offering of coffee. To which she shook her head, she wasn’t a big fan of the stuff. That had always been Suki’s thing. She watched him set the cup aside. “Shall we get right into this then?”

Katara nodded, she supposed that it was better to get things over with. The sooner she did, the sooner she could work to put it out of her mind entirely.

“Your friend, TyLee Boyang, she had given me a video of the incident. Do you have any evidence of your own. The video alone is very sturdy, but every bit helps.”

Katara nodded and handed him her phone. “Please delete them after you send them to yourself, I don’t want to have to look at them again.”

He nodded. “Understandable.” He took the phone from her. “Would you mind telling me what you remember of Halloween night?”

“A lot of it is really...fuzzy.” Katara replied. “I think he, Jet, drugged me. I saw him watching me throughout the whole party. Everytime I looked he was there. And then one time I looked, and he wasn’t. And that scared me. After that I started feeling, I don’t know...weird. Or maybe it was a little before that, I really can’t remember.”

“The hospital did find traces of Rohypnol in your system. That would account for the blackout and the memory loss.”

Katara found an ounce of comfort in that Yu-Ron seemed to think things were all adding up. At the very least, her story sounded as real as it was.

“I’m going to ask a favor of you. You do not have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Her tummy knotted.

“Are you willing to watch the video handed to me by Ms. Boyang?”

Katara swallowed. “If it will help get Jet locked up, I-I guess I can.”

“Very well. If you would like to stop at any time, let me know and you don’t have to finish watching it.”

Katara clutched the edge of her chair as he began playing the video. The voice that came through was muffled by static and fuzz, she couldn’t make out what he was saying but his intentions were clear enough. She watched him climb atop her. She could feel herself growing almost numb. The video played on and she watched him tug her shirt off. Somehow it was like watching a movie, it was too surreal. That couldn’t possibly have been her. She swallowed as a tear slipped down her cheek.

“Do you want me to turn it off?”

But the video was almost done, so she let the entire clip roll.

“He got me.” She spoke quietly. “He got what he wanted...he…”

“He didn’t get as far as you think. If it is any comfort, your brother got to him before he could do anything but take your shirt off.”

A weight lifted off of her chest and a lightness settled in. “He didn’t...uh...he didn’t you know…?”

Yu-Ron smiled reassuringly. “No, not quite. But this is still enough to get the boy locked up for a while.”

“What about my brother? He was just trying to help me.”

“I am aware.” Yu-Ron nodded. “We are building a case for that. Ms. Boyang mentioned that a Mr. Chan Haga was present too and that he did a good number on Mr. Akunin.”

It took her a moment to recall that Jet’s last name was Akunin. He had always been Jet to her.

“So you can get Sokka out of jail?”

“I can very well try.”

.oOo.

She still wasn’t up for school the next morning. She wasn’t up for seeing Suki at lunch. Suki who didn’t even bother visiting her at the hospital. She tried to give a little leeway; the father of her baby was in jail. She had to visit him. But, surely, she could have sent a text.

No, Suki was completely silent.

She knew Suki well enough to gauge that the girl knew that Katara was already mad at her. She knew Suki well enough to know that she was trying to give her some space. But this wasn’t a ‘give space’ kind of situation. This was a confrontation kind of situation. No, it was a situation where she very well would have let Suki’s mistake slid, so long as she lent her support.

As well as Suki meant, she was only digging herself in deeper.

As much as she longed for someone to talk to and confide in, she wanted to be angry at Suki. At the perfect person to seek comfort in. But Katara had self-respect. She wasn’t crawling back to Suki without an apology for abandoning her twice over when she needed her the most.

It looked like she would be powering through school alone.

Again.

It chilled her through and through as she dizzily packed her supplies. It didn’t feel right heading off to school as though it were another normal day. It didn’t feel right at all it was jarring and disorienting and she had a feeling her mom would have to listen to her weep the whole way to school.

She knew that, for the first time in their relationship, Kya did not know how to console her.

She didn’t know how to console herself.

She wished she could text Toph. She ended up settling on Aang. It was a shame that those two were not in her lunch hour. She wondered if she would be sitting alone and that doubled her rate of tear fall. God, she was an emotional wreck.

She felt like something half-alive dragging herself to class. She heard the late bell and braced herself for a jolly good time with June. But even she seemed to take pity on Katara’s soul, letting her pass by without a word. She dropped into her seat.

She refused to look up from her paper, it had been an outrage enough to see Chan sitting in the seat behind her unfilled one while Sokka was in jail. She had looked up only once, to catch sight of a very bedraggled Azula. Her hair obscured much of her face, but Katara could swear that she saw some bruising. She ran her fingers through her own decently messy, and dreadfully unwashed hair, she had to be imagining things.

The bell rang and she hustled out before Chan or Chu-Leng could catch her.

.oOo.

She slid into her usual lunch seat, dreading the moment when Suki would plop down next to her and pretend like nothing was wrong. Just when she was beginning to think that Suki wasn’t going to show up, she heard a lunch tray clamor on the table.

Katara made a point of not looking up.

“Hey, Kat.” Suki greeted.

Katara put an extra effort into enjoying her lunch meat.

“I’m gonna sit down, okay?”

She dug around in her lunchbox and fished out a star shaped sandwich and a note from her mother. If she read that, then she wouldn’t have to think about the girl who sat down next to her.

“Are you doing okay?”

Her mother’s note was longer than usual, reminding her that she was brave and strong and that she would get through this one. That the whole family would and that they would come out stronger still. Of course she sprinkled in more mundane commentary about having a nice day at school. She folded the note up and slipped it back into her pocket. Her elbow brushed against Suki. “I wish you stuck this close to me at the party.”

An audible glup let Katara know that Suki was well aware that she was in deep.

Katara almost caved.

“I didn’t mean to…”

“You knew that I needed your help. The only reason I came to that party was to hang out with you and Sokka!” She snapped. “I was wondering why you didn’t just want to hang out at home instead. It’s harder to sneak away from your friend to have sex when it’s just the three of you.”  So maybe it wasn’t the only reason, Aang was a pretty good part of it, but that wouldn’t help guilt Suki.

Suki’s head dipped. “I know, it was stupid.”

“Stupid, yeah. Funny how I got to pay the price for your stupidity this time around.” Katara flinched, she didn’t know where any of that had come from. She had never been this angry before. Not with a friend. She had never said anything like that to a friend before. She knew that she should apologize.

Instead she let an oppressive awkward silence befall them.

One that filled the entirety of the lunch hour.

.oOo.

Her second day back at school was no charmer either. June still didn’t interrogate her for her tardiness, but that didn’t alleviate the red that Chan’s presence put in her vision. His voice roused her temper more, even if his insults weren’t aimed at her.

"That's true, it's a gift that keeps on giving. Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen anyone eat like that! I don't know how you can eat so much at once."

 She couldn’t say why it bothered her so much to hear him say those words, really, Azula would have laughed if he were saying something like that to her. But still, his laughter drove her nearly mad. Perhaps it was because she could imagine him laughing like that knowing that Sokka was being punished for a crime he had a hand in. Katara lingered in the doorway as he added "There's something wrong with you."

 She could see that Azula had murmured something back as she seated herself.

 "Careful, you're going to break it!" Chan remarked, earning himself a high five. Azula mumbled something else and the laughter died away. Maybe it was finally occuring to him that he was an awful excuse of a boy. Katara took her own seat, rubbing at eyes that were so red they might as well be bleeding. She really needed to stop crying. But, lord, was it hard not to. Frankly, she just longged to go home.

She glanced at Azula.

Perhaps she should say something. Despite it all, she was beginning to feel awful for her. The stage of Azula so closely resembled her own, she couldn’t possibly be doing well. She almost did, but she lost her nerve. She didn’t want to risk one more bad thing.

.oOo.

She resigned herself to another lonely lunch. One that would leave her mind wandering. Aang was too much of a teacher’s pet to text in class, not that she wasn’t right there with him on that, but she really could use the conversation.  Toph couldn’t text and TyLee had just sent a text asking for luck with another round of questions with Yu-Ron. The poor girl must be exhausted. Katara knew that she was. The in depth interrogation she was subjected to after school yesterday had been an unpleasant surprise. But, apparently, their talk with Jet led them to question her again.

With Suki sitting at the other end of the table the questions repeated in her mind. She couldn’t even count on her fingers the number of ways they had phrased the same questions. She had an even slimmer ability to count how many different officers and lawyers she was introduced to. It was so completely overwhelming.

She practically begged the universe to slap her with some sort of distraction.

And a cruel genie the universe was.

"I heard about the party." "Heard about it?” Katara couldn’t keep the spite out of her voice. “You were there." "I left early…" Just like that, empathy hit her all over again. She recalled Chan’s remarks, she could see it in Azula’s posture, that they were getting to her. So she tried to sound less cold. "Right." A complete failure. "If it's any solace, he tried feeling me up." Katara didn’t know how to respond so she just let Azula continue. “I was just laying there."

She found herself twice as empathetic. But at the same time she couldn’t help but be a tad jealous. "I wish that, that was all he did to me." "He didn't actually…?" "No, TyLee stopped him." She really didn’t want to talk about this. Especially not with Azula. The girl who had probably the second biggest hand in spreading around the whore rumors. She caught Azula nod. "TyLee can fight when it matters." Katara smirked to herself at the opportunity, Azula had just granted her."Unlike some people." She uttered it just loud enough to coxa a reaction from Suki. She hated the involuntary stab of guilt that came with having said it, so she engages Azula some more.  "Why do you care?" "I don't think that you're a slut." The confession made her want to weep. Out of joy, relief, or something else, she couldn’t quite grasp. But she had to know. She needed an answer to a question that had been on her mind for so long. "Then why did you say it? Over and over again." Really, that one ought to be good.” "I don't know." Azula was speaking much too quietly, it sparked something in Katara. Maybe she should let up a little, the other girl was already having a hard time. But that small voice within reminded her that Azula wouldn’t have cared. A year back she probably would have still been harassing her even knowing her predicament.  "I guess I'm just a bad person." Azula finished. Katara's sighed, how was it that Azula was making it this hard to stay angry with her? Maybe it was simply Katara herself, who was being too forgiving for her own good. Regardless she replied, "you're not a bad person…" She didn’t know if she believed her own words, but she supposed that if Azula was taking the time to give her own version of an apology it had to count for something. She sighed again, she supposed that after everything, it would be hard for the other girl to not change. Before she could address the matter further, Azula diverted the conversation. “I liked your costume, it suited you." To be honest, it was a refreshing subject, one that led her to think about lighter aspects of her life. "thanks, my mom made if for me." A dash of dread crept in. Her costume was just about as kiddish as her silly mermaid backpack. And the fact that her mother had made it for her?

She waited for the mockery. "Is she a seamstress or something?” The question was innocent enough. She shook her head, "no, but Gram Gram was. Sewing is just a hobby." If only she had sewn the threads a little tighter. Maybe added some more straps... Mercifully, Azula cut into her thoughts. "That's one hell of a hobby." "Yeah! It's fun too, sometimes we do some sewing together.” Her gratitude for the interruption comes in the form of a more joyful tone. She hoped that maybe it would comfort Azula some to know that she was cheering Katara up at least a little.  “and mom teaches me about different traditional patterns!" Azula’s own expression seemed to turn, something that looked like it could be relief. Maybe acceptance. There was nothing vicious behind it, but something was intangibly unsettling Katara about it. The sudden shift wasn’t boarding well with her. But she couldn’t say why so instead she carried on the conversation. "Have you ever done any sewing before?" Azula shook her head. She was being much too meek. Much too soft-spoken. She considered that Azula could use something to look forward to. "Maybe, if you want, I can show you how. I could use a distraction." She was almost certain that Azula could take her mind away from Jet. But her reply wasn’t as enthusiastic as Katara had anticipated. "Maybe…" "Uh…yeah…" Katara trailed off. That was kind of a conversation ender. Had the idea really been that unappealing. "I am going to talk to Teo." "Oh, yeah, okay." Katara replied. Something needed addressing but she couldn’t place it. She was torn between asking Azula if she wanted to bring Teo to her table and asking her just what had compelled her to start a conversation anyways. Had this been something she’d planned for awhile and finally had the guts or the motivation to do so?

She didn’t realize that she had actually really hoped for Azula to say yes, until the girl had walk away.

The ominous feeling stuck with her. She chewed her sandwich, this one in the shape of a heart. She had trouble swallowing it, her stomach was doing flip flops. There was something so wrong. She took out her mom’s note. ‘Be strong today. Lots of love. Make me proud.’ It was just the sort of simple thing her mom would say.

She watched Azula walk out of the cafeteria.

Lots of love.

Azula didn’t seem to get much of that.

She drummed her fingers on the table nervously. She wanted to follow Azula out, but the thought of hall monitors made her skin crawl. She didn’t want to make more trouble for herself.

She clutched her mother’s note.

Make me proud.

She stood up.

TyLee had saved her, it was her turn to save someone else. Even if it got her in trouble. Even if Azula wasn’t in any danger at all. She supposed she’d rather look like a paranoid fool then…

Then what? What did she think was going to happen?

In the back of her mind she knew exactly what she was fretting.

She checked the bathroom first, it was empty.

Her next thought was to go to the parking lot. She racked her brain for the image of Azula’s car. It had been a while since the girl had pulled up to give her a ride. She supposed that she would know that car if she saw it.

She scanned the lot, trying to keep her fear from rising. She couldn’t afford to be frantic, lest she overlook the car. At last she spotted it. But she froze up. What if her presence just made things worse. What if Azula didn’t want to see her.

The panic was settling it, she didn’t know how to handle this one. She heard a ruckus and caught sight of Teo. He came to a stop and locked eyes with her. She pointed to the car and watched him wheel to it. She would let him keep Azula company, that was probably the safest route. Her job was to go back inside and get help.

.oOo.

She watched them load them load Azula into the ambulance. Her body was so pale, she didn’t think that Azula had made it. She didn’t know anyone living who had skin that shade.

Her arms were achy from trying to keep Azula from hurting herself further during her spasming.

Katara felt so defeated. She let herself become a victim and she had let Azula die. She should have talked to her sooner. She should have let her spite go when she heard Chan making his ridiculous jokes. She wondered it it would have made a difference if she would have told Azula that Chan was wrong. If she would have told her that she was still a pretty girl. The sort Katara envied. But then, who knew how long Azula had been planning this one.  

She looked at her mother’s note. “I tried, mom. I really, really tried.”

She wasn’t much up for physical contact, but she thought that Teo could use a hug. He was much closer to Azula, this was probably tearing him apart. Principal Roku, ever so stern, broke up the embrace and motioned them back to class.

For awhile they lingered in the hall and she vented to him about Sokka, about her case, and about how everything was just such a general mess."This school is such a disaster.” As Teo had noted.

"It was never like this at my old school."

She wished that she had begun talking to him earlier on.  "I wish I never met Jet." She concluded.

"Tell me about it." He replied, making her yearn even more for a time machine.

.oOo.

The rest of the day dragged by agonizingly slow. She thought about what she was going to tell her mother. Honesetly, she was at her wits end. How much misery could cling to and surround one person. She didn’t know what she had done to deserve this. Save for making one mistake, one simple mistake. Save for being too trusting.

She shut her locker and looked to the one next to hers. Azula’s locker was a mess of printouts and what looked like soda. She picked up one of the sheets and cringed. An Usha trademark that reminded her of Halloween all over again.

She is filled with regret all over again for not trying to help Azula sooner. For letting her spite get the best of her. She groaned to herself, maybe she ought to learn from this one. She whipped out her phone and asked Suki if she wanted to drop by her house in an hour or so. "Are you okay, Katara?" Katara jumped. When she turned around to see TyLee she replied. "I…too much is happening at once." Her voice was growing all weak. "What's going on?" It was hard for her to choke the words out. But finally she got the there. “She killed herself, Ty." And her tears flow, unchecked. It settled in, in full that she could have saved Azula but didn’t because she choose to harbor anger instead. It was just the kind of thing her mother didn’t like her to do.

"Who?"

"Azula." "How do you know!?" TyLee cries. "Teo and I found her." She answered miserably. "I…she talked to me before…" She should have seen it sooner. She really should have. Azula had made it pretty plan a number of times. At the very least, her distress had been obvious. "She talked to me too." TyLee replied softly.  She too had some tears to shed. "I was going to drive home with her today…" Her hiccuping matched Katara’s own.  "Is she really gone?" Katara wrapped her arms around her.  "I'm not sure.” She paused, she really hoped that she was wrong. “It sounded like it, but I don't know. They wouldn't tell me anything." She really didn’t understand why they were keeping her in the dark. She was one of the people who had found Azula! As if things couldn’t be any more miserable, TyLee noted, "I was going to drive home with her, Katara. We were going to go to my house and I was going to show her my new hamster and we were going to catch up…" Apparently, Katara wasn’t the only one with a heap of ‘if only’s’.  "We were going to be friends again…"

She somehow knew the feeling, she thought that she might have been ready to give Azula a chance.

.oOo.

Suki was snoring on the sofa close to her. On a normal day, sleepovers weren’t allowed on school days. But her mother didn’t put up a fight when Suki asked if they could have the extra time to talk things over. Kya had agreed, under the guise that Katara could use the company.

If she were being honest, even with the hours of chatter and discussion, Suki still didn’t give her a satisfactory answer as to why she thought it was a good idea to have her alone time with Sokka. Eventually Katara resigned to accepting, “okay, it was a horrible idea, I was just tipsy and horny.”

A horrible excuse, but at least it was an honest answer.

She was still furious but she didn’t want to leave Suki entirely alone to deal with her pregnancy concerns and the guilt.

Afterall, guilt was eating Katara alive, she wouldn’t ever willfully impose that on someone else. So Suki slept on the sofa in her living room and she took the floor. A bowl of spilled popcorn littered the room for her mom to fuss over.

The baby had Suki sound asleep and she was ready to turn the TV on to drown out mental images of her in only a bra and Azula on a stretcher. She feared that the two events would merge into one horrible scene courtesy of a nightmare, so she refused to sleep.

Her phone sounded. Instinctively she feared the buzz. She reminded herself that Jet was either in the hospital with no phone or in a cell. She picked it up, hoping for maybe Aang. Or better yet a message from Sokka telling her that they had decided to let him go after all.

She had received neither. But she supposed that the message she did recieve was a blessing in its own way. It was a simple, albeit, awkward thank you.

Katara looked at the clock. She wouldn’t be sleeping easy. She hadn’t expected anything of the sort, but she conversed with Azula for a good portion of the night.

[kuuxkat]

[EN] Interview with Aki Hata

Original CN TL and Pictures: here CN TL： zegao​​​​​ (nyamazing) EN QC by: @yujachachacha​​

Yuja did lots for this TL. Thank her guys =)

It was mostly delayed due to IRL stuff.

Disclaimer: This is a Chinese to EN TL, there would be things that would be lost in translation between the languages.

I’m not posting the image of the TL, sorry about that. Stealing images aren’t cool.

Please refer to my policies for more details and do not use the translations for commercial use.

The contents are under the cut.

Interview With Aki Hata

The Radiance of Aqours: Searching for the Answer

Aki Hata—the composer and lyricist of all of the songs of “Love Live! Sunshine”.

The “answer” that was obtained from the youthfulness of Aqours as they ran with all their might is...

From the song that gave Aqours their initial fame, “Step! ZERO to ONE”,

To the song that lit up Season 2 Episode 12, “WATER BLUE NEW WORLD”.

In addition to the songs for the subunits as well as the lyrical world of Saint Snow,

In this interview, she discusses the feelings she had placed on the 1st and 2nd seasons of the TV anime.

​

Q: How did you view the story of Season 2 of the TV anime Season 2?

I was reading the script as I wrote the lyrics, and I really cried every time. There are some things in this world that are unattainable no matter how hard one tries. The way they met that challenge really made me feel that it was “indescribably beautiful”. In addition, I feel that the 2nd season was a reflection of reality, it was really compatible. I was still in a state of confusion when I first wrote “Step! ZERO to ONE”, but at this point, in my heart this song has become a key note of the story. And afterwards when the second season kicked off rapidly, in the process the lyrics were gradually woven into the story. From there, I felt that fate had a hand in it. I personally feel that “this song being used here was really fitting, right?”. I don’t know if everyone has the same feeling that I did. From a state of confusion to hearts being one, it was really incredible.

 Q: Did you see the performance at Metlife Dome during the 2L tour?

I did. Although the stage itself was very energetic, in terms of the atmosphere it was quite frigid (laughs). In a half-exposed environment, looking at their posture where they wanted to make the entire venue fall (for them), and to let their intent be transferred to everyone, I feel their determination in accepting this huge vacuum and to go all the way (with it).

 Q: So that means you felt self-awareness and responsibility during the performance?

That’s right, I felt the intent and realization of “I wish to let everyone enjoy more”. As the previous project was hugely popular. “They’ll definitely be compared to that”, “if the effect wasn’t ideal, would it be my fault?” -- For them to be able to take on all of this burden, I feel that they are very strong too.

 Q: I feel that the songs by Aqours during 1st season, the charm point resides in a sense of “stumbling around”. The impression of the many lyrics was that: “Although I don’t know what the end result would be, but in any case let’s try it”. A feeling like that. It’s evidently different in the 2nd season. Or rather, should we say that feeling of stumbling was harmonized?

As by the 2nd season, they would have found their own goal. They weren’t becoming anyone, but rather were radiating their own light. They would have kept that glow firmly etched in their hearts. At that time, I was thinking, life’s own answers would remain in one’s heart’, this fact and the story are seamless aligned. It let me feel that there was a resonance -- the answer was truly in one’s heart huh? For the lyrics side on the 1st season, I wrote them with being very straightforward and plain in mind. For example, in “Kimi no Kokoro wa Kagayaiteru kai?”, I thought: Did they discover “it” at the very end by relentless asking questions like this? As without asking, they wouldn’t have found the answer.

 Q: Let’s turn the focus to the period between Season 1 and Season 2 then. After “HAPPY PARTY TRAIN”, should we say that the model changed? It feels that the stumbling part of the lyrics was set aside for a while too.

 That’s right, amongst them I added an element of more maturity in then. Although it is a new way forward, but it wasn’t 100% a happy feel to it. As I feel that, everyone would want to see an Aqours that grew up and would be able to sing sad songs, right? Thus, although the main focus would be running towards the end goal, and how the destination could barely be seen, secondly it’s the reality of the story itself. Everyone would have realized it, if vaguely, but meeting any obstacle in reality, at times you would feel that: “Although you are seemingly able to ‘see’ the turning point, but in reality you can’t do anything about it.” I feel that for this current generation, there are more harsh situations in reality that the current younger generation has to face. Rather, I should say that this is a generation where dreams are hard to achieve? Even if they wish to stumble and do their best, but problems in reality would be blocking them immediately. The story exists in a setting like this, so I feel that I definitely need to let everyone have that sense of foreboding to it.

 Q: So that is to say, rather than searching for the truth between the layers of the story, you would rather focus on what is projected on the observers?

That’s right. I hope to create a situation where everyone would be able to accept it fully. At such times, one should let everyone enjoy a little “sadness”, as sadness is also a form of enjoyment too (laughs).

 Q: (Laughs) Hata-sensei, among the songs in the 2nd season, which songs touched you the most while you were writing them?

I guess it would be “WATER BLUE NEW WORLD”? I like the beginning parts. So it has the lines, “Ashita e no tochuu janaku / ima wa ima da ne” (“It's not halfway to tomorrow, now is now”). Basically it’s all towards the future, but there are no complex rhetorics to it at all.

  Q: The incomparable happy “today” that only exists for that very instant - for one to understand this perspective and to sing this line, is truly saddening.

And, although we are speaking of the future, but I feel that everyone wouldn’t be able to project their mind set for going ahead. I feel that, the girls probably don’t totally know how their future would turn up. Although they noticed lots, but they won’t know everything. The world is filled with unknowns. They might not know, but they also seem to understand lots of things - rather one can say that it is a paradoxical sadness then?

 Q: That is to say they have their own degree of self-awareness then? But for now, “this” is enough.

That’s right, that’s exactly it. As there aren’t many people who would be able to enjoy the present without being bound by the past. I feel that enjoying the present is a very wondrous thing, so I hope that everyone would try to enjoy it. As we all know, even if we truly wish to enjoy the present, we’ll be robbed of our feelings and vision by many various things. To express this point without complex jargon is difficult. Although adding the phrase “instant” would solve problems, I feel that they shouldn’t say that.

​

Q: I feel that, the 2nd season’s OP “Mirai no Bokura wa Shitteru yo”, the most defining line of the lyrics was, “Mirai o doushiyou kana!? (“What shall we do about the future?!”). Although the future can be freely chosen, but the end result isn’t always what one hopes for. But at this stage, everyone still believes everyone’s future is up to their choosing.

That’s right. Singing “What shall we do about the future!” would perhaps have that unbelievable feel of “perhaps we can truly force the change” I guess? “Having the sky and seas as comrades” would also make one think: “Really??” This could also be due to them being exposed to warmth from lots of people, perhaps their inner soul having being touched by a sense of enjoyment to being loved as well? I feel that, acceptance the truth that one is loved is something that is very difficult. If one is loved too strongly, one would always be a little suspicious, right? But I feel that for them, perhaps they won’t ask “why”, but would rather “be able to accept straightforwardly” the truth that one is being loved by everyone. So for “the sky and sea as comrades”, the meaning of that should be their own hometown, the place that they lived on as their comrades? Everyone really loves their hometown, this is what they call jimo ai (lit. “local love”)  (laughs).

 Q: With regards to “Awaken the power”, seeing the animation on Episode 9 of the TV anime I felt that, here comes a very incredible song, huh (laughs).

(Laughs) Ah, I really am very happy (about this). How do I put it, I have my own self-awareness on how narrow my views are, admitting it openly, will let one grow swiftly? However, process of noticing this point, I guess would be very painful? As one must let something that one had firmly believed in be wrecked after all. But that is only because one’s view is too narrow -- briefly looking around the surroundings and one would realize, previously one would feel saddened about wasn’t depressing at all. The moment one’s view is expanded, they’ll really want to try it out. You can also choose to retreat if one is afraid of being injured, so as long as you tightly hug the world you had previously, you’ll be able to be protected. But if one knows all this, but still has the realization to say, “wait a minute...”, I would really want to have a toast to that courage (laughs)!

 Q: (Laughs). The songs by Saint Snow are very low-toned with high BPM, in some sense the entire feel is the direct opposite of Aqours “sparking” feel. Are there any particular points of note while writing their lyrics then?

It’ll be “a battle with one’s heart inside” then, I guess? Their attitude towards dreams, the level of their self-awareness -- through these comparisons, they displayed a sense of gentle innocence that is different from Aqours.

 Q: For “DROPOUT?!”, the parts where Leah sings, the lyrics included, were especially great.

My goal was to show that: “Even if they were going to fall into despair, the soul would remain beautiful”. From the angle of my personal interest, I like this song very much as well. Suffering will let one grow up rapidly, so I also tried imagining in the direction where “Saint Snow” would need to go through many difficulties, this very harsh and serious route.

​

Looking at Aqours, I became aware that being innocent isn’t embarrassing.

Q: For the second wave of the subunit songs, I even felt that Hata-sensei was being too serious about it! (laughs)

Well~~ Looks like the fact that I love the subunits is exposed, huh (laugh). Should I say I like them? I should say that I’m given more freedom to express them?

 Q: CYaRon!’s “Kaigandoori de Matteru yo” is truly a masterpiece.

I especially like that song (laughs).

Q: The tune started off as a gentle stroll, but in the end nothing happened at all. That point itself was startling enough.

I thought about trying various things while writing songs about friendship, so I thought of how there I heard of a song from overseas that’s akin to a story by itself. That song would be like an image of youth. It would actually just be depicting something trivial, but everyone would have a strong and deep resonance of: “I can empathize with this feeling”. Although by itself is purely how one would not get along with friends, and was stubbornly walking down the streets by the seaside (laughs). But it carries a huge weight in one’s heart. It’s simply a small minor thing, but seemingly carries with it 80% of the world’s sadness with it.

 Q: For Guilty Kiss, firstly the title song “Kowareyasuki”—it’s a staple Guilty Kiss song.

A sense of having absolutely no confusion.

 Q: As for the coupling song, “Shadow gate to love”, I would like to ask directly, what exactly is “Shadow gate”? (Laughs)

(Laughs). I guess it’s… the self in one’s heart? … It’s like, “I might not let you turn back, all right? I would exist in one’s heart too.” Like that, although it does seem to be stirring it up a little. I considered two sides of things at this part. Although I do think that high school girls would say the phrase “musk” I guess (laughs), but I do want to let them say that.

 Q: Amongst the lyrics of the second wave of the sub-unit songs, the phrase binetsu (微热, lit. feverish) didn’t appear even once, right?

It’s something that I sealed away intentionally. I’m trying to see how long I can hold it in without using it -- while right now it’s getting hard for me to hold back (laughs).

Q: (Laughs). Speaking of this, I hope Hata-sensei could explain to us the charm of the phrase “微热/binetsu”.

 All right. So we are chatting how Aki Hata likes about the phrase binetsu, right? (laughs). This is something before passion, the state where passion first began to show itself. That very brief, mythical state, that is the passion that I like the most. It still exists at the stage of fantastical love, or it perhaps can be something very brief. And I guess it means a disguised innocent passion? One’s thoughts might be pitiful but beautiful, amongst them it would reveal a tangible strand of mystic to it. One would be slightly dizzy with that knowledge - it would be a feeling like this. In one’s life, perhaps this is the state of mind that I would love the most. A young girl’s love can be called “binetsu”, a girl’s thoughts is surely “binetsu”. Perhaps all girls could emotionally understand this state of “binetsu”? A mystery that only girls know, a secret that belongs to girls -- this would let people feel that it’s cute, right?

 Q: The way that AZALEA let one immerse in them comes out strongly as well.

Of course I do like all the subunits, but AZALEA would probably have the highest synchronization with my personal feelings? I feel that this subunit, is a manifestation of priestesses to something that I would like to express. I guess this change happened during the 1st Live? After seeing their performance, it is my personal opinion that, I can let them carry even more (on their shoulders), I could let them walk on the direction of passion x philosophy (laughs)**. **TL Note: Although uncertain, it could be a pun on “Tokimeki Bunruigaku” instead.

 Q: (Laughs) I feel the same, that is why “GALAXY HidE and SeeK” became a MVP-level title as well.

Thank you very much. I feel that AZALEA expresses the sense of “loneliness” very strongly. Or should I say that that they are able to match the sense of unrealism and loneliness very strongly? I guess it’s probably in the direction of “the me that no one else notices were discovered by you”. A secret held between you and me?

 Q: From now on, for 3rd Live Tour as well as the movie are waiting for Aqours. Do you have anything you wish to say to them?

For them who are on the stage, I guess I would like to say is probably, “Do show us more of what you got”? I purely hope to be able to continue watching on. Everyone have been working very hard, so I hope I can sing and play along with them more.

 Q: At this point to Hata-sensei, what is “Love Live! Sunshine!!” and what is “Aqours”?

I guess it’s something like “an innocence that’s on the verge of being forgotten”? Looking at Aqours, I became aware that being innocent isn’t embarrassing at all. Although right now, as an adult there are things you wish to conceal, but looking at them I do feel that, showing that side wouldn’t be wrong at all.

​

Aki Hata’s stories with books

If we’re counting data/information, my monthly intake would be huge. So if I really start sharing, one book wouldn’t be enough. But if it’s a recent one, then Leonardo’s Judas (レオナルドのユダ) by Mayumi Hattori (服部まゆみ) gets my shoujo heart thumping again.

[theinquisitivej]

‘Secret Rooms’ Definitive Edition – A New Century Review

Available on Kindle on Amazon.

Available as an audio series on Bandcamp.

When I first reviewed the original edition of Secret Rooms back in early 2017, I thought it was a solid instalment in this alternate history series of fictional stories. I enjoyed the mix of genres, the variety of conflicts the characters found themselves in, and the balance of humour and more intimate moments where characters went into their experiences with grief. At the time, I saw it as an enjoyable story that is somewhat overshadowed by some of the later instalments in the series which were getting better and better with each book. Having said that, my review for Secret Rooms is still full of the many positives I found in the original edition of the book which make it a great read and/or listen. I stand by everything I said back then, and you can read all of it here.

         But things sure have changed since that review. New Century has had two new entries with The Christmas Thieves and Let Them Go, and Secret Rooms has been bolstered with a brand-new Definitive Edition. This new edition adds extra chapters, some re-recorded lines, and just more content that helps this early story in the series stand up with the rest of the impressive entries in New Century. It’s not a radical transformation, but this expansion on the original story makes the narrative feel more complete, more thematically resonant, and just as polished as the other standouts of New Century like Arlington, Tiger’s Eye, and Let Them Go. If you’ve been following me, you’ll know that I’ve been writing up each of the new chapters of this edition which have been collected into a new short-storyline called Weirwood. You can read my detailed thoughts on these chapters here, here, here, and here. What I aim to do with this review is to lay down a string of observations that I noticed while listening to this Definitive Edition and re-experiencing the story of Secret Rooms. If you want a spoiler-free review of the story, the original review absolutely has you covered. If the story sounds like your cup of tea, check out the Definitive Edition, and once you’ve enjoyed it, and you will enjoy it, come back here and we can sit down and talk about the book together.

         As I’ve mentioned before, there are moments in this story which seem to take influence from Mass Effect. Encounters are self-contained and varied, making the world of the Reunified States of America feel more alive and unpredictable. There’s also a sense with each of them that, whatever our protagonists decide to do, there are half a dozen other possible outcomes that might have occurred if they had gone left instead of right. Characters discuss their options, and the different suggestions will rarely be unreasonable or entirely without merit. There’s no clear answer to how each of the problems they’re confronted with ought to be resolved, so the story of Secret Rooms is very much about a group of people trying their best to do the right thing and help as many people as possible. A lot of the time, that means making choices that aren’t guaranteed to lead to the best outcome. A lot of the time, they simply have to take a leap of faith and hope that it will be for the best.

         Speaking of Mass Effect, you could summarise parts of Secret Rooms as a charismatic badass female leader recruiting a number of striking personalities in order to accomplish a seemingly impossible task. Yes, I am comparing Annie Oakley in New Century to FemShep, and I find her sentiment that the world isn’t going to get any better unless we step outside and make it better inspiring. In contrast to how Arlington pitches Annie against unpredictable and overwhelming forces that render her practically powerless, Secret Rooms shows Annie in her most impressive light. What makes the story of this book as compelling as it is then is that, after Annie is established to be the ideal image of a Cartographer, she passes the responsibility of decision-making to Abigail for the duration of their excursion together which makes up a good portion of the narrative. At first, this is done to give Abigail a taste of what it’s like to be confronted with a difficult situation so that she can appreciate what is required of being a Cartographer. Once they arrive at the House of Versteckt, however, Annie is forced to leave James and Abigail to fend for themselves as she rides to gather reinforcements. This is James and Abigail’s greatest test, and after making it through, they’re changed forever. Secret Rooms is the story of these two capable yet inexperienced characters and their journey to find their own way as they set out from their familiar home and are cast into completely uncharted territory. Having Annie play an important supporting role as this accomplished Cartographer supervising these two new recruits provides a safety blanket for the first part of the story, but once we enter the final act and the two are left alone, our protagonists seem unbearably vulnerable.

         I’ve already discussed the accomplishments of the additional chapters as an emotionally affecting story-thread within this new edition of the book, but it must be stressed that these chapters aren’t just a tacked-on short story. The new chapters are integrated into the existing structure of Secret Rooms seamlessly, and they even reinforce some of the key story-beats and themes of the original text. After we’ve seen half of the people of New Athens leave for dangerous lands in spite of Abigail’s best efforts to convince them against this course of action, we transition back to the story of James and Abigail’s past at Weirwood. The first part of this section has James relate a memory he had had of Nathan telling him that the best way to convince a wondering chicken to come to you was to pretend you weren’t interested in it and didn’t want it. By placing this immediately after the chapter where we see that Abigail couldn’t get these wandering civilians to come with them, the audience is invited to form a connection between the two moments separated by time. Is it possible that Abigail would have found more success if she had not made it clear that she really wanted the people of New Athens to come with them, as Nathan suggests you avoid coming on too strongly with the chickens? Or could it just be that there really is no way to convince something out of your control to be tamed when their mind is set against it, so all you can do is steer into it and act like you never even wanted it in the first place? Either way, I appreciate how the added chapters reinforce moments from the original story in little ways like this.

         One theme in particular that becomes much more pronounced in this newer edition is the concept of human relationships between a group of three people who love each other. Abigail and James both share a personal connection with Lucy and with each other. For a time, they are content as this group of three that has somehow found a happy balance. Even when things get messy and complicated, the individual pairings we see, first with James and Lucy, then Lucy and Abigail, is presented as something sweet and beautiful, even if it does lead to the third member of the group feeling hurt in each case. It’s compelling drama that takes this situation seriously – you certainly couldn’t accuse this plot thread of being a clichéd love triangle, as it’s much too well-observed for that. It taps into a very human experience, and while part of you wants to blame someone when things go wrong, the writing ensures that you understand why things happen as they do, making it an intensely bittersweet story, even before the tragic ending reveals itself. As I listened through the Definitive Edition and reached Part Four, I realised some of the parallels that can be drawn between these three and the story of Krieger, Greta, and Charlotte. The Definitive Edition presents us with two groups of three, each of them being made up of two female members and one male member, and each group is made up of people who share a romantic love for one another. All of these people are in love with not just one person, but two people. And, sadly, the two groups are also alike in that they have each lost one of its members, and each group mourns the loss of the sensitive soul that they so dearly miss.

         It could be that these similarities are there to make us notice the connection and then ask what makes the two trios different from one another. While Lucy, James, and Abigail were young, practically children when they felt this love for multiple people and were struggling to process these feelings, we see evidence that Krieger, Charlotte, and Gretta managed to maintain a polyamorous relationship for an extended time as adults. This makes me wonder what might have been if Lucy was still alive; could the three of them have worked things out and still be close? Is there one reality where Lucy is still alive and the three of them enjoy a long-term polyamorous relationship with one another? Then again, the trio from the House of Versteckt certainly isn’t a wholly perfect example of a healthy polyamorous relationship, at least in respect to the awful thing that Krieger does to Charlotte. The final chapter does a brilliant job at getting you to be sympathetic towards Krieger even as he discusses the process of killing one of the women he loves and his reasoning for doing so. His logic for why it’s too dangerous for Charlotte to continue as she is does seem sound, and you can tell from the words and Matt Wardle’s emotional performance that this is killing Krieger. Even so, in comparison with Abigail and James allowing Lucy to be free and go out into the open world as they let go of her, Krieger sealing Charlotte away and making the decision for her that her life needed to end is a horrifying violation. If you’re looking for evidence that Krieger’s actions have had lasting negative consequences that Charlotte herself did not want, look no further than the fact she appears to Abigail as a ghost, her spirit being trapped by what Krieger did. The dynamic and interconnecting relationships of each trio is touching, heartbreaking, and fascinating to see unfold as the narrative progresses, and the Definitive Edition makes this one of my favourite aspects of Secret Rooms.

         There’s also a point of connection between Lucy and Krieger due to them both having conversations with the main characters about the cosmological and their place in the wider universe. When Krieger delivers his lecture about Pandora’s Box and the theory of multiple realities, I couldn’t help but think of Lucy and James sitting together looking at the stars all those years ago at Weirwood. A crucial difference, however, is that while Krieger sees the scope of reality and the potential Lovecraftian horrors out there and thinks of the fearful implications of that (despite his insistence that he would still open many boxes and explore many realities), when Lucy considers her small stature in the scale of the infinitely greater universe, she sees the hopeful side of things. If nothing matters, then everything matters, as she says. I appreciate having these two moments of introspection from different characters and seeing their different conclusions on, more-or-less, the same subject. It opens things up, and makes me even more contemplative than the original edition had already made me.

         On a similar topic, the starry eyes, both those that Gretta is revealed to have and those that Abigail and James acquire after touching the orb, made me think of Lucy and her stars, especially as James describes looking into Gretta’s eyes like looking up into the starry sky at night. Perhaps this would be the only way to describe such a concept, but it nevertheless felt like a deliberate connection between the eyes and this important memory of Lucy. My interpretation is that this connection is there to make what Abigail and James see when Krieger and Gretta leave through the Wind Door and Gretta’s eyes are revealed feel even more like something beyond their world. This memory of Lucy and the stars is like an ethereal moment which is forever out of reach for James, so the connection between this moment and seeing Gretta’s eyes makes it feel like we’ve stepped beyond what we can understand or touch in the physical world that we know.

         Listening to Secret Rooms this time around, I realised how much of a blow it is for James to lose one of his eyes. The original draft already did an effective job at conveying how much the loss of their eyes will affect James and Abigail through the writing. But because we get that added time with the two of them at the start of the Definitive Edition that shows us these characters from an early age, I feel the magnitude of how much of what James relies on to get by will be irreversibly affected by what he’s lost. We know how much he needs his powers of observation to get by in his day-to-day interactions with people and his duties as a doctor. So much of his identity has been built around his sharp eye and his close attention to detail. Now that his sight is less than what it was, these parts of his identity are affected considerably, and you can imagine how that would make James feel unsure of who he is now that he’s no longer that version of himself.

         The Definitive Edition of Secret Rooms is a terrific success. I enjoyed this story before, but with the added content that this new edition brings, there’s more time with the characters which makes the later sections of the story more meaningful, and the themes are bolstered by the story thread with Lucy which invites us to draw parallels between what happened in the past and what we see in the present. On top of that, the story of Lucy and Weirwood is just a really emotionally affecting story about past regrets, achingly beautiful memories, and the deep connections between three people who loved each other. Maya Santandrea is a wonderful Katherine Holloway and I’m sure there are dozens of little audio adjustments and small technical edits throughout the audiobook which make the whole thing even more polished than it already was. Tiger’s Eye and Arlington are still at the top of my list of New Century stories, but through a combination of coming to appreciate it even more on a second listen and some really well-implemented additions to the text, Secret Rooms has climbed up high to be yet another of the really close favourites that the series has in spades. Depending on my mood, I could very well see myself saying that Let Them Go, The Princess Thieves, or yes, Secret Rooms is my favourite New Century story.

Final Ranking: Gold.

Striking an impressive balance between a fun spirit, nail-biting tension, and emotional drama, Secret Rooms takes you through a remarkable number of different genres and tones, and it makes all of them work. This was already a good story. Now it’s even better.

Join me in the new year as we dive into all-new territory with New Century’s most ambitious story yet, SteamHeart.

[wsmith215]

An Argentine journalist’s 13-year quest to do right by tennis legend Guillermo Vilas

In 2007, the WTA announced that upon revisiting the rankings data for 1976, Evonne Goolagong — a multiple Grand Slam singles champion who had never reached the No. 1 ranking — should have been in the top spot ahead of Chris Evert for two weeks in 1976, officially altering the record 31 years later.

That was a life-transforming experience, less so for the Australian champion Goolagong than a 51-year-old journalist halfway around the world in Argentina, Eduardo Puppo.

“I took that [Goolagong decision] as a divine sign,” Puppo, now 62, explained in the course of long email exchanges with ESPN.com. “It was no longer time to sit back, but to take up the search.”

So Puppo set out to earn the same retroactive honor for his compatriot Guillermo Vilas, a Hall of Famer who played in eight Grand Slam finals, earning four titles, over an 18-year, record-shattering career that leaves him, along with Rafael Nadal and Bjorn Borg, among a Holy Trinity of clay-court tennis.

2 Related

In the ensuing 13 years, Puppo and his main ally, Romanian mathematician and computer programmer Marian Ciulpan, amassed a formidable body of evidence (some 1,200 pages of documents, and a review of the 23,000 official matches played by the 1,117 pro players who were active at the time) to bolster their claim that Vilas was erroneously denied the No. 1 ranking on two different occasions.

The ATP investigated Puppo’s exhaustive research in 2015 and ultimately declined to act on the claim, without refuting it.

The Puppo team was as “devastated” as, reportedly, Vilas himself. Now 67 years old and living in Monaco in semi-seclusion due partly to health issues, Vilas in recent years has refused to discuss the issue. But last week, speaking to ESPN.com through Puppo, Vilas said: “I made my claims when appropriate, but no one listened to me. At one point I gave up, and that’s why I never spoke again. But years later, Puppo appeared and gave me hope.”

Vilas’ hopes may have been shattered, but not those of his passionate Argentine advocate. Puppo soldiers on. His team now includes a sports lawyer working on getting the case adjudicated in court. (The Puppo team is not seeking any financial award for Vilas or itself.)

The No. 1 ranking has become an obsession for Puppo, and the quest has exacted a toll.

“I am passionate about research,” Puppo wrote. “I knew that tracking No. 1 was a very complex and unpredictable goal, but I never thought it would take 13 years of my life and my family.”

Puppo has put aside weekend outings, missed vacations and strained his relationship with his family seeking redress for Vilas. Courtesy Eduardo Puppo

Puppo explained that he “put aside weekend outings,” missed annual vacations and “narrowed” his relationship with his wife and three children. His family understood that the quest is part of his job (this is a man who spent 22 years writing a three-volume, 2,800-word history of tennis in Argentina) and accepted that seeking redress for Vilas gradually became an “emotional goal” too important for Puppo to forgo.

According to Argentine journalist Sebastian Fest, it was Vilas himself who first suggested that he had been robbed of his rightful place among former No. 1 players in an interview with Fest at the French Open in 2007.

Puppo, a passionate tennis fan and somewhat accomplished recreational player, first met Vilas as a rookie journalist in 1980 and, over the years, interviewed him many times. He described his relationship with Vilas in those early years as an appropriately formal one. “We were journalist and player, nothing more,” he said, adding that he didn’t even discuss his project with its subject for many years.

Fest, who recently served as the president of the International Tennis Writers’ Association, told ESPN.com that while Vilas is grateful and enthusiastic about Puppo’s efforts, their relationship has largely been professional.

The role of sports heroes like Vilas in Argentina helps explain why Puppo vanished down the rabbit hole. Argentines take fierce pride in their national heroes. It frustrates and stings many that while Vilas never officially held the top ranking, other, perhaps less deserving, men from rival South American nations did: Gustavo Kuerten from Brazil and Chile’s Marcelo Rios. To add insult to injury, Rios reached No. 1 without even having won a single major singles title.

“It is a topic that has the potential to interest the whole country,” Fest said. “If Vilas is given No. 1 in those times in 1975 or 1976, there will be no other topic that day that can match it. Front page of all the newspapers and congratulations from the president.”

Vilas remains an important national figure in Argentina. Nicknamed “Young Bull of the Pampas” for his strength and endurance (Vilas was flattered when he was described as “masochistic”), Vilas is also a poet and brooding, philosophical iconoclast.

In 2012, Puppo hired an artist to create a life-sized iron sculpture of Vilas, pictured, hitting his renowned one-handed topspin backhand. Courtesy Eduardo Puppo

In 2012, five years into his research, Puppo decided to honor Vilas. Puppo, who has also worked in various administrative and promotional capacities in tennis, hired an artist to create a life-sized iron sculpture of Vilas hitting his money shot, the renowned one-handed topspin backhand. The statue was ultimately installed at the entrance to the Mar del Plata Nautical Club in Buenos Aires, where Vilas got his start in tennis.

The following year, Puppo shared the full details of his effort with Vilas, who in 2014 asked Puppo to be his biographer. According to Puppo, the two met at Vilas’ home 96 times to conduct interviews and research a book that is 600 pages long and counting.

“I continue to perfect [it] today,” Puppo said. “It is Guillermo’s story and a summary of all the research into the rankings matter. All this brought Guillermo closer to me.”

To a skeptic, it may sound like Puppo was bewitched by the power of Vilas’ personality and celebrity. But the body of evidence compiled by Puppo’s team is convincing, and Fest confirmed that he is taken seriously and admired by many. “He [Puppo] is not a groupie at all, he’s a professional. He has a passion for tennis and the conviction that when it comes to Vilas, there is a case there.”

Puppo’s argument is a compelling one. He says his research shows Vilas was unjustly denied the opportunity to eclipse No. 1 Jimmy Connors in the rankings in two specific periods (five weeks beginning on Sept. 22, 1975, and the first two weeks of 1976) because the ATP did not publish rankings in the weeks when Vilas was on top, times that Puppo characterizes as “blank weeks.”

During that dawn of the computer era, the ATP published rankings sporadically (just 11 times in 1974 and 13 times in 1975). It was partly because the rankings, based on a player’s average performances, were seen mainly as a guide for entry and seeding in tournaments, and partly because the ATP simply lacked resources.

“People played with the rankings a lot then, because it was based on an average of a player’s performances,” Jose Higueras, a two-time French Open semifinalist and rival of Vilas, told ESPN.com. “Jimmy [Connors] and Bjorn [Borg] knew how to keep their rankings high. If you played smaller events, your ranking could only go down. There were times when I knew I could win a $75,000 tournament and my ranking would go still down, not up.”

In 1977, Vilas won 16 titles, including the French Open, yet he was denied the No. 1 ranking by both the computer and most expert panels. Daniel SIMON/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images

The gap between Sept. 16 and Oct. 29 was unusually long, lasting 43 days. That’s the time frame during which, according to Puppo, Vilas would have first been ranked No. 1. But as no rankings were published, Connors retained the honor.

Given the purpose of the rankings, there was really no talk about the top guy until the very end of the year, when a number of experts and panels weighed in with their own, subjectively generated, year-end rankings — much like the NCAA once crowned its No. 1 football team by vote.

An even more striking anomaly occurred later, in 1977, when Vilas put together one of the greatest years ever yet was denied both by the computer and most of the year-end “expert panels.”

In 1977, Vilas won 16 titles (by contrast, Roger Federer won 12 in his most prolific year, 2006) and amassed a record 53-match clay-court winning streak that has since been eclipsed only by Nadal.

Vilas won major titles at the French and US Opens that year, and he was runner-up at the Australian Open. Yet Connors still ended up on top in the final rankings issued by the ATP despite failing at the majors and losing to Vilas both times they played in 1977, including in the US Open final. His record of 69-11 with eight titles pales in comparison to Vilas’, but the ranking system still worked in Connors’ favor.

Puppo’s research uncovered numerous errors and omissions in the official ATP record. Vilas, who had complained bitterly about being denied access to the official ATP records for that year, felt vindicated. Based on Puppo’s investigations, the ATP retroactively gave Vilas credit for three clay-court titles (bringing his career total to 49; only Nadal has won more) that were originally misidentified by surface.

But that was about as far as the ATP was willing to go after a comprehensive 2015 review of Puppo’s research. Chris Kermode, then the ATP’s chief executive, made the call to ignore Puppo’s work, admitting that while mistakes existed in the “official” record, awarding Vilas the top ranking retroactively would be too disruptive. Kermode warned that it would create a chain reaction of claims and challengers to the various records.

“It’s a huge deal for a player, so we haven’t done this or taken this lightly at all,” Kermode, himself a former pro player, told The New York Times after dismissing Puppo’s claims in 2015. “But at some point, that’s the call we have to make. … Rewriting history is impossible.”

Puppo, who said he was “deeply saddened” at the time of the ATP’s decision, still believes its response was “insufficient,” given the scope of his research, and emphasized that the ATP has never been able to refute his work yet does not want to face the truth.

Puppo responded to a conciliatory email from Kermode, writing: “No, we are not rewriting the story, that is impossible. The story is unique. We are writing the missing part of the story. The full story. Otherwise it is better not to tell it, because it is lying to those who starred in it.”

Many still remain uncomfortable with the idea of giving a player something seemingly earned in the past by another player.

Higueras believes Vilas was certainly the top player in 1977 and would like to see that recognized. “But,” he said, “I would never change the rankings, even if the data is incorrect. Then Connors could come back, saying he would have played more if he knew. … It becomes difficult.”

So Puppo’s quest continues. His once dark, long hair has turned into a wild nest of silver and white curls. At times, he sports a beard worthy of a department-store Santa. The rewards for his efforts have been scarce. Leaving for Monaco in 2016, Vilas entrusted all of his sports material for Puppo to curate as he wished.

“I always trusted Puppo and his team; they are professionals and meticulous like me,” Vilas said. “I feel [supported]. Eduardo became a brother to me. My family and I love him and we are grateful for everything he does in a selfless way.”

Puppo is proud that he has earned Vilas’ trust, but it rankles him that he can’t be the warden of an even more valuable possession: the No. 1 ranking that he believes Vilas earned but never really got.

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[insanescriptist]

As of Chapter 225, who do you think is going to be more screwed; Nono on the matter he had known of the coming Assassinations and did nothing to alert those within the Alliance or Iemitsu for not telling his mother that not only is he married but that she also has a Grandson that her son has never told anyone about? Honestly I think Iemitsu is going to be in deeper shit, his mother could have had a Grandson to smother with love and a daughter in law to bring into the fold. Run Iemitsu, Run.

Honestly they’re both rather screwed. It’s just hard to make a comparison about how considering the consequences differ. Not that some matter that much considering other factors.

Nono is getting screwed on a political level. Because a lot of those people who had trusted him now have reason not to. Because it is Bad to not pass on such information or to say nothing about it. Even just bland, ‘we’re investigating leads, stay safe,’ statements.

Because Verde’s assassin-minions went and killed an Alliance Don, his heirs and more -including one of the boys at mafia school- and Nono didn’t bother to even pass the warning on that ‘hey, we’ve got evidence of a lot of criminal boss-types got killed, so take precautions in case they move on to you.’

Basically, Nono’s image has been tarnished for a while; dead sons in the multiple, one who was ‘missing’ and presumed dead, not stepping things up with his people so the Varia/Visconti bounty system is going strong even over a year later… yeah, there’s lots of things that he’s been doing that’s led to dissatisfaction from allies and so on and it’s adding up.

You don’t have Dons thinking that Nono’s ordering the Varia to kill off masses of people in public without reason. Okay, some are more idiotic and spineless than others but they’re not completely such because they’re still mafia. But fear of imminent invisible death to you and all your relatives is not a good thing for reasoning capabilities.

As for Sawada Iemitsu of the Alliata… you have been paying attention to the details right? The ones where it said ‘Nono tried not play favorites but it was obvious that he did favor the ones who distanced their-selves from their families and dedicated their self to the Vongola,’ or something to that effect?

So personally Iemitsu is damn distant to his relatives. Which makes for less of an impact, especially if Iemitsu continues his trend of communicating nothing to his relatives. I mean, he didn’t even tell his son that he was mafia, what his position was etc. You honestly think that a ‘manly man’ like him would tell his mama that he married and had a kid when he told his wife to tell their son that ‘he went off to be a star,’ aka died? Which sounds romantic, but if you knew the culture better you’d know the implications.

It’s the things like his utter disregard and disrespect for a lot of the Japanese customs and sense of propriety that makes Umei and I believe that Iemitsu wasn’t raised Japanese. Because no man that respects his wife and their home and children and the guests inside their home would pass out in his underclothes or give alcohol to children.

Reputation is Huge Deal in Japan. Presentation, manners and behavior are all very serious and important. Like a middle schooler gets caught shop-lifting? The first call is to parents, the second is to their school. And the school gets Shamed and Scandalized and may expel student over it. Because it impacts the school’s reputation. School you graduated middle school from impacts high school possibilities; high grades may get you into a good school but being from a ‘troublesome’ school prior will have repercussions socially in how they perceive you and treat you. Potentially for the rest of your life, because that influences college, jobs etc. There’s a reason all those anime parents are on about studying and behaving. Is all about Reputation and Japan does that on Hard Mode. You do not get a pass on individualism here; you represent your family, your school, your work, your nation and it’s tons of social pressure to act in a non-offensive and respectable fashion.

So yes, Iemitsu’s behavior does not make sense if he was raised in Japan. Sure he knows the language and grew up with it but like all the characters in KHR can speak Japanese so it’s not a sign that he is. His name says he has Japanese-heritage and that it’s recent. He also happens to be of Giotto’s bloodline. Giotto’s bloodline that had divorced itself from the Vongola so much that it stayed in Japan. Until Japan had reasons to send it’s people elsewhere, like say, WW2. Because look, you’re part foreigner, you know some of the language, you’re getting sent there. Very human thought-process and explains Iemitsu’s big blond buffness since several generations of Japanese blood would make the blond impossible without a not-Japanese parent.

Anyways, Iemitsu’s obviously not going to be in his ma’s good books; I mean, she lives just a few hours away, less so if he’s visiting Nono since Alliata land is south of the Vongola’s principle territory. And he’s distanced himself away from his mother, his cousins and even his own son. For years.

It’s certainly a recipe to get angry ma after you. Or an angry Lal Mirch, since while Iemitsu is happy to talk about his tsuna-fishy in the office, he hasn’t even bothered to tell his mother that he has a son? And has for well over a decade now.

Honestly it’s like people are expecting someone with a personality disorder to have healthy emotional relationships with people.

Post sleep edit: Iemitsu won’t be too effected this. Like things are already too precarious to be stabalized; it’s more fuel to the trash fire that is Sawada Iemitsu. The Alliance will, because the Alliata are very big about family and Sawada’s one of theirs. Technically. So really, it’s just further evidence that Sawada Iemitsu is terrible and they’d like to know how this new cousin/nephew is doing.

[nautilusopus]

The Number I

Chapter 10: BCAAE

I've been Da Vinci coding your collective asses this entire time and no one noticed. This entire fic is numbers. The words are numbers. Everything from here on out is numbers. This was all an elaborate ARG. Everything is code. Blonde, brunette, readhead.

Just to be clear, that's what you guys are reading this thing for, right? The fucking awful jokes?

Speaking of code this thing was a nightmare to actually format and might look wonky on mobile. I didn't want to fuck with image embedding because I couldn't find a good host site but I might have to. Fuck.

Thank you to @fury-brand, @cateringisalie, and @limbostratus for looking this over.

There are holes in the world, and spaces between numbers. Neither should exist. Cloud starts noticing them, and he isn't the only one who has. And unfortunately for him, he's both. (Contains graphic depictions of violence.) 

It took Aeris a moment at first to figure out whether or not she was dreaming.

She was certainly lying down. Perhaps she'd simply dreamt getting into the tank?

She sat up and looked around -- definitely still hazy. Her arm hurt like mad, too. Maybe not dreaming, then.

Still, her surroundings were a bit clearer. She was in the enclosed space again, and this time there was a light coming from somewhere across from her -- a hole, perhaps. She stood still for a moment and took stock of the sensations she was experiencing again. She moved her left thumb, then her forefinger, and then her middle finger. They definitely felt like fingers. She opened and closed her hand -- was it a hand? Maybe she just wanted to believe it was one.

She noticed something else that she hadn't before, perhaps because she wasn't quite convinced she was awake. Her muscles felt tense, as though she were crouched at the bottom of a pool, ready to push off. As she walked over to the hole, her body felt strangely light.

She reached forward, and found more space behind the hole in the wall; it was an opening after all. She heard a noise behind her, and it suddenly occurred to her that the hole had been a perfect rectangle, but she had already hauled herself up and her moment carried her out the window and onto the ground below. She was surprised at the ease with which she landed. She'd certainly never been that physically able on her own two feet.

She had two feet, didn't she? Two something, anyway.

Flat. It was almost perfectly flat. It could have been a natural migration trail but for the structures lining it on either side. The sky -- and it had to be the sky, the space above her was so large -- sprawled out before her. It was spattered with stars.

This was more than she could have hoped for in a thousand years. She hoped they'd finally gotten imaging sorted out. Zack would probably lose his mind at what she was seeing, if the notes she'd been making hadn't gotten everyone riled up already.

The structures were blocking her view, though. She'd have to find somewhere higher up.

She took a few steps forward. Apart from the pain on her right side, she still felt strangely energetic. She cautiously broke into a careful jog.

It felt incredible. Aeris wondered if maybe that was why people ran for their own enjoyment, if it felt this good. She went a bit faster, and the ground seemed to fly under her feet, every movement effortless, the kind of running she'd only experienced in dreams, when she'd been able to will herself to wherever she wanted. She was certain she couldn't run this fast herself.

She still felt light. Perhaps the gravity was lower here? Only one way to find out.

Aeris ran another few steps and leapt into the air.

She must have sailed about five metres up, and for a moment she was certain about her gravity theory until she began to fall again at about the speed she was used to on earth. She felt her heart abruptly jump into her throat as the ground hurtled towards her. She twisted about in mid-air, trying to get her bearings and managed to stumble onto her feet atop one of the structures as her weight settled again.

My legs are like a bouncy castle was probably not the most scientific note she could have taken, but she wrote it out anyway. She broke into a run again, noting the perfectly flat surfaces she was sprinting across. It all felt so effortless.

Aeris reached the tallest building she could find and turned her gaze skyward. There were so many stars here -- the kind of sky she'd seen once or twice out in the country, far away from any light pollution. She began focusing intently on a particular patch of the sky, making a note for them to retrieve an image. The quality would probably be terrible, but anything for them to study would be worth straining over a grainy, blurry picture compiled from brainwaves from several hours. She began categorising each patch of sky, making her own observations about what she could see. The world continued to sharpen painfully and blur around her at the same time, but she was certain she saw something move out of the corner of her eye...

Then that something was in front of her, towering over her and filling her vision. Whatever it was, it was big.

OUT PLEASE NOW, she wrote. A moment later, the lid was popped to the tank and she was pulled out of it. Zack joined Lazard in helping her out. Both of them looked ecstatic.

"We got visuals!" he blurted out. "I mean, they're not done rendering yet, but we finally got something! If we can get a few more for comparison we could get a lot of info about the orbits of --"

"Forget the orbits," she said, tripping out of the tank. "And the sky and everything. I saw one."

Zack stared at her. "Saw what?"

"...No idea. But listen -- I think -- I think there's people over there."

Tseng left his place at the desk and approached the three of them. "How do you know?"

"You saw my report, didn't you?" she said, gesturing frantically to the screen. "I'm telling you, there were buildings -- I have hands, I'm almost certain I did."

"We found aliens?," asked Zack, whose eyes had somehow managed to become wider. "Like, alien-aliens? Not just a bunch of animals?"

"I don't know what else it could be. We have to --"

"It's entirely possible you could be anthropomorphising your data," said Tseng. "You're walking on what you've called legs, and running down what you wanted to call a street. A dog isn't smiling when it bares its teeth."

"Yeah, well, if you're so smart why don't you tell me what it is? I'm doing my best. I still can't see anything properly," she said, suddenly trailing off. "Maybe whatever I'm looking through doesn't see very well." She allowed Lazard to hand her a towel and began to pat herself dry. "I ought to ask."

"This seems a whole lot of conjecture," said Angeal, who was the only one that didn't look impressed. Zack made a derisive noise in the back of his throat.

"Man, did you leave your sense of adventure back in Germany or what?" Zack gestured wildly to the screen. "Aliens, Angeal!"

Aeris gestured to Zack pointedly. "See? Someone gets it. Besides, I know what I saw. Look, I'll show you -- "

"Tomorrow, you'll show us," warned Lazard. Aeris grunted.

"Fine, tomorrow then."

"...I do believe you saw something," Tseng added. He had gone back to staring at the screen with an intense look on his face. He left the room without another word.

"Do you think the reason your chest hurts now is because something laid an egg down your throat?" added Zack.

"I haven't seen that movie," replied Aeris. "And if you're going to make fun of me..."

"I'm not," he said, and he sounded serious. "Just... first contact. Man." He shook his head. "I didn't think we'd get this far."

"I did," said Aeris. Zack turned to look at her, and she shrugged again in response.

"My parents were willing to stake their careers on getting this far," she continued. "It had to have been for a reason."

"Is that what you believe?" he asked.

"Of course it is. I didn't have any reason to think they'd be wrong, and I especially don't now. Do you?" Aeris stood up as well and yawned. "Need a nap."

She shuffled off to the showers, feeling Zack's eyes on the back of her head the entire time.

 This time felt different. The strange "blackout" she'd experienced, she'd attributed to her brain making up stimuli where there were none. She quickly posed a question to Tseng about it in the notes, because she wasn't sure if the human brain could conjure up the sudden cacophony of millions of voices whispering into her ears. It was gone as quickly as it came. Anything was possible if you were hallucinating, she supposed.

Her weight was supported by something, and the area she was in was well-lit. A brief glance around seemed to indicate it was the same area she'd been in the day before. She then turned and looked to her left.

There was something there, undoubtedly. About the size of... actually, she wasn't sure what size she was here, but whatever it was, it was as big as her. She made another note to begin compiling images as she studied it herself. It was making some sort of noise, or perhaps the noise was coming from behind her. Its face -- and she immediately scolded herself for calling it a "face", because that was an assumption she didn't have much evidence to back up, and of course humans naturally wanted to see faces where there weren't any but she could have sworn -- was moving. It was almost definitely alive. It was close, too; she could have reached out and touched it...

...and then it reached out and touched her. Her world tilted around her as it seemed to grab her and flip her over itself before slamming her into the ground. Hard.

She felt her arm (which she had definitely decided was an arm) being twisted up behind her back, and for split second she almost asked them to pull her out again. Then she hesitated.

This was for real. There were actual sentient lifeforms here that she was actually (literally) in contact with, and she was the only one in a position to gather information about them. If it was worth billions of euros in investment, it was certainly worth a bit of danger as well.

Her resolve faltered slightly when whatever it was behind her settled its weight on her back and began limiting her air supply. She began to struggle against whatever it was -- it seemed fairly light, but it was clamped onto her quite firmly, and the pain she was presently in didn't seem to be helping.

Perhaps she'd leave this bit out of the report until she was done fighting for her life. If her team pulled her now, who knew when she'd get another look at them?

There was more noise around her, and then several more of them appeared nearby. She reared back to throw the one on her back off and flipped over, getting a good look at each one.

You're safe, she reminded herself. Whatever happens to you here you'll be fine. But the pain she was in felt quite real, and the things that has just began to fan out around her were definitely bigger than her. Another thought occurred to her as she felt herself being picked up, and the noise around her increased: would they kill the one she was using? It was still injured from whatever it had fallen off of. Perhaps it was being culled. If it died, that was the end of the project.

She began to struggle harder now, and found herself surprised by how easily she was able to tug herself out of their grasp. Perhaps they weren't very strong. Or perhaps they were a different sort of thing than she was.

Then she noticed the surface she was on. It was soft, and as her hand latched out she grabbed onto something that sturdy and woven and --

Woven. It was fabric.

Upon further consideration, it occurred to her that she seemed to be wearing clothes.

This settled it.

Any plans of escape were immediately put an end to when one of them got their hand into her other arm, the one that was still unusable.

The pain was incredible. The closest thing she'd felt like it was when she was eight and she'd fallen out of a tree and gotten a dislocated shoulder for her trouble. Someone on the other end clearly must have noticed, because the next thing she knew she was waking up in the tank, still sputtering and thrashing.

She shoved a very worried Lazard away from her and blurted out, "I found a blanket!"

There was a moment of stunned, and probably confused, silence.

"Or a -- or a coat, or a toga, or something. They've figured out textiles. They're intelligent. They have to be." She was breathing heavily. Whether it was from the psychological effects of being choked or excitement, she wasn't sure.

Tseng was the first to speak up. "Are you sure?" he asked severely. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"I know I am," she said. "It has to be."

"Did they say anything?" asked Cissnei.

"Might have. I don't know, my hearing's sort of funny. I think they might've been angry."

"Hostile, you mean?" asked Lazard.

"I don't know yet," she said. "Maybe they're panicking. Maybe we did something culturally unacceptable."

"Have you tried to say anything yet?" asked Cissnei. "Do you know if they use a verbal language at all?"

"You keep mentioning fingers," pressed Tseng. "How many? How do you suppose your bones are arranged? You've mentioned bipedal locomotion a few times. How is your balance affected by it?"

"We can't use it," interjected Zack suddenly. Everyone turned to look at him.

"We can't really prove it's a blanket," he said glumly. "All we have is your word of mouth, and some blurry pictures, and whatever meaning you apply to anything you find. No one's gonna believe it if we try to publish this."

She glared at him. "You think I'm --"

"I believe you. Everyone here probably believes you. But you don't have to convince us."

She looked around at the others, NC fluid still dripping from her hair.

"...We did it, though," she said, and there was an edge to her voice now. "I saw them. We -- they can't just throw out that much data. We found aliens, Zack."

"No, like, I know, and that's really cool, and we're all really happy, but --"

"He's right," said Angeal, speaking up. "All we have is things we've gathered on our own. What we need --" and with this he stood up and approached the board, "-- is a message back."

He picked up a marker and began making writing two lists: THINGS WE CAN GUESS and METHODS WE COULD USE.

"Let's think," he said. "We want to send a message to an unknown party. We cannot use symbols of any kind, because they may not recognise them. What do we know about this party?"

"They have eyes," said Aeris, "assuming our contact point is the same species as they are. I'm the same size, about."

Angeal marked "VISUAL MEDIUM" in the GUESS category.

"You said they might be mad, right?" asked Zack.

"Almost definitely mad," said Aeris. "I was attacked. I think."

Cissnei looked at her incredulously. "What in the world did you do?"

"I don't know yet. If we figure this bit out first we can ask."

Angeal reluctantly wrote "HOSTILE (?)" under GUESS, then added "TEXTILES" as an afterthought. "I think that's about it. Any methods we could use?"

"The hydrogen line," said Zack immediately. "That's always the go-to, right?"

"It would be," said Tseng. "But those were always broadcasted as a signal, to be used in another signal. We also have no way of knowing what that is. It's another universe, with potentially another set of natural laws entirely. Perhaps a three here is a two there."

"...Something like that could explain the bug we keep finding," Zack admitted. "But we still can't nail down what it is. Figuring out the laws of physics of an entire universe we've had limited access to could take months. Maybe years."

"We're not thinking about the content of the message, either," said Aeris. Her teeth were beginning to chatter from being soaking wet and cold for so long, but she ignored it. "We need something more than the hydrogen line if we're to avoid my being choked again the next time we visit."

Lazard looked at her in alarm. "You were --"

"I'm fine, let's stay focused," she interrupted, causing Lazard to shake his head in disbelief. "Primes, maybe. Though I suppose that could have the same problem as the hydrogen line."

Angeal nodded and wrote down "SPIN-FLIP" and "PRIME #" under METHODS. It reminded her a bit of a teacher in a lecture hall, until she realised that was almost certainly what he'd done at some point in his life.

"Anyone else?" asked Aeris. "We'll take anything we can get."

There was a pause, and then Cissnei whistled five notes. That got a brief chuckle out of everyone present except Tseng. Perhaps he hadn't seen the movie, or maybe he just didn't "do" jokes.

"It's not a terrible idea," mused Aeris. "There's mathematical basis in it. Five hundred Hertz is still five hundred Hertz whether it's on Earth or on Saturn, so a B is still B."

Cissnei leaned back in her chair and smiled. "Thank you. I try."

"Only within the same universe, though," said Zack. "We're back at the hydrogen problem again."

"We haven't even figured out how we're going to convey this either," added Lazard.

"Or what we're going to convey," said Angeal, nodding. "Something that potentially tells them about who we are without it being construed as a threat."

They continued throwing ideas back and forth across the next fifteen minutes. Aeris and Lazard unconsciously found themselves humming the five notes, and then blaming Cissnei for getting it stuck in their heads. Cissnei looked more than a bit smug by this point.

Eventually she found herself thinking about the song itself. It hadn't just been the five notes, had it? There had been the rest of the conversation. And if an alien culture had picked music as its medium, it was perhaps a very prevalent part of their culture. A good way to send a message that would be understood while telling the receiving party about themselves... assuming they had ears, or any concept of what "sound" was. Would a B be a B in a different atmosphere? What about an atmosphere with different gravity? Was five hundred Hertz still five hundred Hertz in another world? Was she breathing oxygen? Was oxygen the periodic element with eight protons?

She frowned. It would have to be, wouldn't it? Because...

She got up, and walked to one side of the room, and counted the steps. Then she turned around and walked to the other, heel to toe. Then she went back the other way. Fifty steps. And then fifty steps. And then fifty steps.

"...What are you doing?" asked Zack, which got her to look up and realise she was being stared at.

"Walking. I've been walking."

Zack turned to look at Cissnei uncomfortably, then back to her. "...Yeah. That's -- yup."

"No, you don't understand; I've been walking."

Another period of silence. Aeris rolled her eyes.

"Movement is consistent from point A to point B, every time. I can take twenty steps in one direction here, and I'll be twenty steps away from where I started," she explained. "It's the same way in the other world. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to navigate at all. I'd find myself walking backwards, or not moving even if I was moving.

"Therefore," she said, quickly snatching up another marker, "a one is still a one. And so a two has to be a two, because it's two ones, and a three has to be a three. But let's focus on one, the thing that we know exists."

"So hydrogen is is hydrogen because it's gotta be," said Zack quickly, picking up what she was saying. "Because hydrogen is hydrogen because it's the element with one proton. If it had two it would be helium."

"Binary is an option, then," said Angeal, and immediately wrote it down. "Is and is not are non-negotiable states."

"That still doesn't tell us what we're sending," said Cissnei.

"Yes, it does," said Aeris, writing furiously. NC fluid dripped onto the board several times, and she wiped them off on Angeal's uniform and received an indignant glare in response. "Because there's another constant that's found in nearly everything in the world, and if one is one and two is two then it'll be in theirs as well. Any intelligent species with a basic grasp of mathematics -- there!"

Aeris took a step back to allow everyone to admire her handiwork. Simple, to the point, and (hopefully) posing a question that required a response.

"You think that'll work?" said Cissnei, who also seemed to recognise what she'd drawn.

"If they keep off you long enough for you to convey it, it should," said Tseng. "Only do the first part for now. See what happens."

"Get some rest first," said Lazard, throwing her a towel. "We'll try again in twenty-four hours."

Aeris did take a short nap due to the sedative, but after it began to wear off she found she was too wired to actually sleep. She lay in bed, still trying to come to grips with everything they had discovered over the last several hours. If she was right about what it all meant, anyway.

Apparently she wasn't the only one lying awake, because there was a knock on the door to her room.

"It's me," came Zack's voice through the door.

"And Cissnei," added Cissnei. "We were talking and I told him you had snacks."

She opened the door and gave them both a questioning look, then sat back down on her bed. Cissnei sat next to her, and Zack took his place on the desk, rather than using the chair right next to it.

"Tired?" he asked. Aeris shook her head.

"Me either," he continued. "You'd think we would be since we've been at this basically nonstop."

"There is too much to think about," said Cissnei. "What do you think it will be like?"

Aeris pulled the blanket closer to her. Even after the shower she still felt a bit chilled -- it seemed 90% of her time here had been spent soaking wet. "There would be a big cultural exchange. Everyone always thinks it'll lead to... I dunno. The end of racism. One-nation world, or something."

"Not if they want to start a war," said Zack. "We could be contacting something that wants us dead."

"They already know we're here, though," said Aeris. "So the best we can do is run damage control."

Nobody said anything for a moment. The prospect that they had just potentially started a war was not a pleasant one.

"...If they have weaving," began Cissnei, "then do you suppose they have art?"

Aeris shrugged.

"Why does that matter?" asked Zack.

"Any culture that has art is good, isn't it?" Cissnei looked at the floor nervously.

Aeris considered this, then nodded. "Definitely. So it'll be fine."

Zack scratched the back of his neck. "'Good' is kind of a complicated concept..."

"Not when it comes to starting a war," said Aeris.

"Maybe, maybe not," said Zack. "Killing is bad, right? Unless death isn't a concept to you, so you have no frame of reference to why it wouldn't be right. It's wrong to have sex with someone when they don't want to, unless your whole species mates passively with... spores, or egg piles, or something."

"...Do you notice anything on your body that could have been used to lay eggs?" said Cissnei after a moment.

Aeris shot her a look. "That's disgusting. I wasn't exactly paying attention."

"Maybe you should have," said Zack. "Important scientific documentation. Someone's gonna have to write this stuff down. Tseng would have a field day." He looked at the drawer under the desk curiously. "Next time just rummage around downstairs for an ovipositor or something."

"You don't have to be that lurid about it," she said sharply. "And that seems extremely rude."

"What, you think it might be in your mouth instead?"

"I brought you in here for snacks," said Cissnei quickly, before Aeris had a chance to reply.

"Snacks. Sure." Aeris reluctantly scooted herself out of bed and got out the two containers she'd brought in. "I have licorice allsorts and gummy bears."

Zack went for the gummy bears, as predicted. Aeris had a few more of her allsorts before putting the container away -- the restocking period was coming, but until then she wanted these to last.

"The UN is gonna lose their shit," said Zack, who appeared to be strategically de-limbing his bears.

"We'd have to come up with laws for this too. Currency exchange, if they have money. Who gets to say what to them. Whether or not you can legally have sex with them." Aeris shot a look at Zack for the last part.

"I'm not gonna stick it in an alien," he said, popping the remaining gummy bear torso into his mouth and crossing his arms. "Probably, anyway. Are we talking green ladies, or...?"

"This isn't a professional conversation to be having," said Cissnei.

Zack smirked. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much. You brought it up."

"Actually, you did too," said Aeris. "With the spores."

"I was trying to make a philosophical point and you know it."

Aeris sighed. "We should be asleep. Especially you," she said, nodding to Zack. "If everything goes well and we haven't started a war, it'll be up to you to make sure I don't die of radiation poisoning when we finally use that room in the middle."

"...Dios mio, this is really happening, isn't it?" he said quietly.

Aeris handed him the tub of gummy bears and climbed back into bed. "Here. Try not to eat them all at once."

Zack nodded. "See you tomorrow, then. Or whatever counts as tomorrow in here." He left the room, leaving her alone with Cissnei. Cissnei gave Aeris a quick hug, then left as well, still in a daze.

Aeris stared at the door for a moment longer, then turned out the light.

The entire room was buzzing with excitement as Aeris climbed into the tank. They'd spent a few hours prior going over the "photos" she'd taken on her last excursion. She begrudgingly admitted that perhaps they weren't the best evidence. The images were extremely grainy and rendered in greyscale, and more reminiscent of bad photos of the Loch Ness monster than anything else.

The data was more useful, though the persistent bug that was present in nearly all of it was starting to become a problem. They wouldn't be able to present a good deal of their findings if the scientific community considered it inaccurate and flawed.

Aeris thought she had been finally getting used to the process, but when Zack began to count down again she found the nerves catching up to her again. She didn't have much time to dwell on it as she was flung through that strange deep space and opened her eyes.

She had a split second to process that she was still surrounded, and that she could move her right arm again, before something pressed up against her neck. It felt sharp. It was being held by, or attached to, one of the figures to her left. Most of them had been slightly larger than her, but this one appeared a bit smaller.

She moved very slowly, keeping her eyes on the room itself. She would have made eye contact, but some species on Earth considered that a threat. She didn't want to take her chances.

She began to feel around the room. The figure moved with her, keeping its... whatever-it-was nearby her throat. She was surprised at how soft everything was here. Perhaps it was all plant fibre.

She found a large flat surface with nothing clearly on it that gave easily under her fingers. Perfect.

She wrote her message into it, neatly and deliberately. The figure next to her was making noise, and as much as she strained to listen to it, she couldn't really make out much more than that.

She stepped back, admiring her handiwork with a small smile. She documented a picture of it as well. Then she requested an extraction.

They pulled her out of the tank and dried her off. No one left the room just yet. Everyone was silent. Zack was nervously rolling the ball around on his desk. Tseng kept tapping his fingers on his chair. Aeris picked at the towel, and tried to think of something to say, and failed, and picked at the towel some more.

There was nothing left to do but wait.

  "Fucking --!"

"Sorry. Y'know, if you held still it wouldn't hurt as much."

"I am holding still."

"No, you're not. There!"

Yuffie stepped away from him with the cast and the tray of cut stitches as Cloud gingerly tested out his arm. It still looked awful, but the bone had healed almost completely, and the only thing left on his flesh was another jagged scar -- one of many at this point. It felt stiff, and he couldn't raise it above his head without him forcing it with his other arm, but it was nice to have some degree of independence again.

"You're gonna be all lopsided now," said Yuffie, gesturing to his left arm. Cloud shrugged, and again regretted doing so.

"I'll get a good workout in later. Maybe grab lunch first, though." He glanced out the window and blinked in surprise. It was pitch black outside.

"Or not. I didn't realise it was so late."

Yuffie stared at him. "...It's not, Cloud. It's... what are you talking about?"

"I -- look, it --" He gestured to the window again, and froze.

The black was seeping in through the window now, and from the roof, and up from the floor, which seemed to empty into an abyss below him. He looked around in a panic and immediately went for the knife under his pillow as Yuffie just stood there staring at him, shouting his name as he could feel his thoughts being smothered.

He dropped the knife a moment later. He stood there motionless, swaying slightly.

Yuffie snatched up the knife and put it to his throat.

Cloud looked down at the knife, and very slowly, purposefully proceeded to his desk. Yuffie lowered the knife again, puzzled, and said his name. Cloud was long gone, and didn't respond.

He began carefully touching the things on his desk -- the papers, the wood itself. An empty beer can crumpled in his grip, and Yuffie raised the knife to his throat again. His hand eventually landed on the wall above his desk.

He flattened a hand against it, as though testing something. Then he raised it again, and began to engrave something. Yuffie stood there, and Cloud looked at her once or twice, seeming more or less uncaring.

The whole thing was over in about thirty seconds. Cloud suddenly crumpled into a heap on the floor and groaned.

He curled himself up, pulling his head down to his chest. He had tried that time -- really, really tried. But he hadn't been able to fight off Sephiroth, either, so he didn't know why he'd expected to be able to fight this. Too weak.

It had happened again. It was going to keep happening. There was nothing he could do to stop it and it was going to happen over and over again until it got him killed or he just lost it himself.

Yuffie bent down to help him up, and he shoved her roughly away from himself. "I'm fine," he snapped.

She crossed her arms and sat down on the bed angrily. "Whatever. Get up on your own time."

She likely would have left if she could, Cloud realised. They'd started stationing people with him to watch him constantly. Because he was a danger to himself and the people around him, probably.

He bit a splinter out of his finger solemnly. It had him punching holes in plywood now. None of this made sense.

He looked up at what he'd been made to draw, frowning slightly. It looked like aimless scribbling to him. Yuffie was looking at it now too.

"What's --"

"Dunno. So don't ask."

Yuffie stuck her tongue out at him as Tifa and Jessie burst through the door. They looked at Cloud, and then Yuffie, and then what they were staring at.

Cloud raised a hand to blow the entire wall to shreds, and Jessie caught it. "Wait."

"For what?" he spat. "For it to come back?"

"Cloud, look at it. Actually look."

He reluctantly lowered his hand and looked. And looked, and then shook his head.

"I don't know," he said. "Just looks like they wanted me to wreck my bedroom."

"I've seen that before." Jessie was now looking at it intensely. "I can't put my finger on where."

"It's probably something I've drawn before on my paperwork," muttered Cloud, glancing at all the unfinished forms on his desk. "Kinda looks like an electrical diagram, a little. If you squint."

Cid leaned in the doorway just then. "Did all y'all come rushing up here for any reason, or...?"

"Get in here and look at this," said Tifa, ushering him in.

"Did he lose his shit again?"

Cloud glared at Cid in response. "Fuck off."

"Just asking. So, what..." he trailed off, as his eyes landed on what Cloud had engraved in the wall.

       o    oo oo oo

 He turned back to Cloud quizzically. "You put that there?"

Cloud shook his head. "No. Whatever it was did. That's all it came here to do, I think. It left after."

Cid stared at Cloud, then turned back to the drawing.

"Fuckin' hell," he breathed. Cloud looked back up at him.

"...You know what it is?" asked Yuffie. Cid nodded.

"I know what it is, yeah. If I'm right. Which I am."

Cloud's breath caught in his chest for a moment. "What is it? Is -- will it help me get rid of them?"

"Probably not. That's a message in a bottle, and we're gonna throw it back."

Cloud looked between the wall and Cid. The man looked... excited. It unsettled him.

"Cid, what --"

"Back when I was in the space program, we'd use to send out messages like that via satellite," explained Cid, who was now inspecting the wall closely. "Nobody thought we'd ever get anything back, but it was to let the universe know we existed. Prime numbers was one of 'em. That there's another one -- the golden ratio. Identifiable patterns that would exist everywhere no matter what."

Tifa looked at Cloud. It was good to know she seemed just as lost as he did -- neither one of them had finished school. Perhaps this was something they'd have covered.

"Get back up, kid. And put some gloves on. You're gonna pick up where they left off."

Cloud retrieved his gloves from under his bed where he'd tossed them carelessly a week ago, and under Cid's instructions, added a few more dots.

          oo        o  o    oo oo oo  o

 "...I don't want to talk to it," said Cloud after they finished. He sat back down on his bed and went back to picking wood out of his hands. "I want it to piss off."

"Well, tough goddamn titties, because it's made an effort to talk to you. You think it'll stop if you ignore it?" Cid sat down next to him. "That'll have to do. We're gonna run out of space if we do more of it."

"...It's gonna come back," said Cloud. "It'll keep happening, won't it?"

No one said anything. Cloud swallowed thickly.

"Everything just... stops, when it -- when it shows up. It's like being dead, but you're still there."

Cid put his hand on Cloud's shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. No one really felt safe leaving him with just Yuffie now. Jessie went downstairs and fetched the others, just in case it happened again.

As it stood, they didn't have to wait long. An hour later, Cloud seized up again, and began to stare at the wall.

The room was absolutely silent as they watched the screen, waiting for a reply from Aeris. The cameras had been set up, though there wasn't much for them to look at, and none of them really knew much about framing a shot anyway.

Zack fidgeted with the ball at his desk. He exchanged a nervous glance with Tseng, who had gone back to tapping on his chair. Angeal stood stock still directly in front of the screen.

Numbers began to appear on it.

1

1

2

3

5

Zack stopped breathing and clutched the rubber ball tightly enough to leave marks in the surface.

8 -new

13 -new

The room was silent for a moment longer. Then Zack jumped violently as Angeal let out a triumphant yell that sounded like something out of a drill sergeant. Cissnei grabbed him and shook him.

"We did it!" she screamed.

"I know!" he yelled back. "I know, we fucking did it!" He felt himself shaking from sheer giddiness. He looked back over towards Lazard. He was applauding quietly. Tseng had turned away from the group to get out of the view of the cameras, but Zack was pretty sure he was crying.

"Look!" shouted Angeal suddenly, and pointed at the screen. There were more numbers coming in.

Cloud had been staring for ten minutes before he raised his hand again. He put a few more holes in the wall then: 21.

Someone took his hand gently and guided it to another part of the wall. Cloud seemed to understand, and punched holes where his hand was moved. They were bunched together more tightly to save space, but the next one was 34, and then 55.

Cloud pulled his hand away and wrote another on the very edge of the wall, reaching from the floor to the ceiling: 89.

Then his hand dropped. He stood there until someone placed something into his hands. A pen, and a piece of paper.

He sat down on the ground and began to draw, mangling the pen as he had the wall, but not before he managed a very crude silhouette of a naked man and a woman, their hands raised in greeting. There were more marks then -- one dot beneath a number 1, and two dots beneath a 2, all the way to nine. A circle -- a 0 -- was positioned over no dots at all.

He began to write something else, but the pen was mangled beyond the point of use at that point. He stopped, and went very still.

Cloud let go of the pen, staring at what he'd drawn. There was ink all over his hands. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes again, and he forced them down. He'd already cried twice in front of his family, and that was well over his allotted amount of times of never.

He handed off the drawing wordlessly to Reeve, who had come up behind him now. Reeve stared at it, then handed it off to Cid. The two of them were now muttering to each other, but none of what they were saying made any sense to him. Cloud leaned against the wall he'd ruined and opened his mouth to ask what any of it was supposed to mean.

Before he could ask, there was a loud crash as shards of glass came raining down over him. He managed to duck his head to avoid the worst of the damage, and everyone scrambled away from the window that had just exploded next to him, and then from the cloud of fire that sprayed out from the centre of the room. Cloud barely managed to reach out to the flames and shape them inward in time to keep the whole room from going up, and Tifa had to smother the rest of the fire with his blanket. When she had finished, she lifted it up, and they all turned to stare at the remains of the Molotov that had been flung in through Cloud's window.

[shirlleycoyle]

Internal Documents Show Why the NYPD Tries to Be ‘Funny’ Online

On July 17, 2014, the New York Police Department put Staten Island resident Eric Garner into a chokehold while apprehending him for allegedly selling cigarettes illegally. Garner told police “I can’t breathe” 11 times before losing consciousness. Officers did not perform CPR on Garner, and neither did EMT when they arrived at the scene. Garner was pronounced dead in the hospital about an hour after the incident.

This week, exactly five years after Garner’s death, Mayor Bill de Blasio doubled down on his decision to not fire Officer Daniel Pantaleo, who placed Garner in a chokehold. Pantaleo will also not be held criminally liable. The decision ignores repeated demands for justice from local residents and activists who have organized both in-person and en masse on social media.

That same day, the NYPD Twitter account tweeted about World Emoji Day.

Motherboard has obtained and is publishing an internal guide that may help explain the strategy behind that tweet, and the NYPD’s social media presence across platforms. Police are explicitly told to “be funny” by cracking jokes and using emojis, and to take “victory laps” by sharing evidence of arrests and confiscations. The documents note that the goal of NYPD social media accounts is to “build, and maintain trust between the Department and the communities it serves.”

The U.S. military, and police departments around the country, are known to follow a similar social media strategy. Law enforcement often uses social media to speak in a way that’s cheery and cutesy, belittling and heartless, or some combination of these things. The NYPD is no exception. In 2014, the NYPD tweeted a quote from A Few Good Men which, in the movie, was used to justify a murder. (They later deleted the tweet.) Earlier this year, it triumphantly tweeted about a “clean up” of a homeless encampment in the East Village.

Motherboard obtained seven slide presentations, which include examples of “funny” police tweets, Twitter dos and don’ts, and at one point, a slide is completely dedicated to displaying an image of YouTuber PewDiePie. Motherboard also obtained two “Operations Order” documents that spell out the department’s official social media goals and policies.

Non-commissioned officers (NCOs) put in charge of the NYPD’s social media accounts are explicitly instructed to be both friendly and feared. However, the NYPD has a poor record on civil liberties. A New York Department of Investigation (DOI) report shows that the NYPD has received almost 2,500 complaints of biased policing since 2014. The NYPD closed 1,918 of those complaints. Zero investigations have been issued. A Buzzfeed investigation released last year shows that between 2011 and 2015, hundreds of officers have committed severe acts of misconduct and violence and have been allowed to keep their jobs. This record complicates the way the NYPD presents itself on social media.

NYPD social media policies makes the department’s 119 Twitter feeds into a jarring mix of images: police posing with children, confiscated guns, missing or wanted people, and police dogs. Police want to tell people that they’re charming and approachable, but also powerful and sometimes frightening.

A document titled “Operations_Order_28,” dated June 2017, tells police that the goal of NYPD social media is to “build, and maintain trust” with city residents. Several documents instruct social media NCOs to post pictures of NYPD officers.

A slide presentation titled “Best_practices_prezi” instructs police to be “authentic and funny.” The slide notes that “(expectations are low…)” for humor.

“Funny tweets are more likely to be shared,” the slide presentation says. “Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say in any other public forum.”

“Funny” tweets are recommended because maximizing shares and engagement is recommended per NYPD policy. Operations Order 28 instructs officers to prioritize engagement.

“Develop innovative and informative social media messaging with the goal of cultivating public engagement,” the document reads.

Examples of funny tweets, according to “Best_practices_prezi,” include using a lot of emojis, making jokes about recent raids and arrests, and making joke-infused warnings about possible crimes.

Image: Screen grab from “best_practices_prezi.”

The presentation has a section in which officers are prompted to select a good tweet an a bad tweet. An example of a good tweet, according to the presentation is, “Officers just arrested a naked man in the bison paddock in GG Park. The bison seemed unimpressed.” Meanwhile, an example of a bad tweet is, “Between 11/30/13, 9pm and 12/01/13, 9:45 am on the 1900 block of Clement St, a suspect hopped the fence to the… [link]”

Police are also instructed to avoid making blunders on social media. A slide presentation titled “Twitter_mistakes_prezi” tells police, “Don’t make light of harsh situations,” and to sometimes seek second opinions. It also lists five rules of thumb for police.

Image: Screen grab from “twitter_mistakes_prezi.”

“What may seem inoffensive to you could be offensive to others in your community,” the slide presentation later warns. The examples of content that could be offensive to “others” in your community are outrightly racist.

Image: Screen grab from “twitter_mistakes_prezi.”

A slide presentation titled “Promotional_training_prezi” warns officers, “You are always in the public eye,” and displays the logos of WorldStar Hip Hop and Copwatch, platforms that are known to sometimes share images and videos of police violence and misconduct.

Other documents show that there is no basis of social media literacy required for NCOs that are interested in operating social media accounts.

“It’s not about computers,” the slide presentation says. “Previous knowledge is not required. Yes, it’s risky. But the good outweighs the bad.”

“Promotional_training_prezi” also notes that all “commanding officers and staff are trained” before getting access to social media accounts. Once trained, social media access is heavily delegated.

“How do we approve everything? WE DON’T!” one slide says.

“Promotional_training_prezi” also shows a side-by-side comparison of the social media landscape in 2012 and 2017. An entire slide in the presentation is dedicated to displaying an image of PewDiePie. In 2017, seemingly the same year the presentation was given, PewDiePie used a racial slur on his channel and directed users to an antisemitic channel (which he claims was accidental).

Image: Screen grab from “Promotional_training_prezi”.

The slide presentation also tells police, “AND DON’T FORGET YOUR VICTORY LAP!” This means that police are told to share results of certain investigations. In practice, this often means sharing images of confiscated guns or counterfeit items.

It’s reasonable for any public-facing entity to humanize their workforce. But the NYPD’s attempts to improve its public image with social media don’t address the public’s biggest concern: years of allegations of misconduct.

When reached by Motherboard for comment, an NYPD spokesperson said in an email that the goal of its social media presence is to let police “communicate directly with their residents, hear their concerns, and update them about Neighborhood Policing and public safety issues in real time.”

“Since 2014, the accounts have amassed over 1 million followers, have helped launch hundreds of community events, forged relationships, introduced residents to their own local officers, allowed us to gauge issues of concern from the public, as well as notify them in real time regarding emergencies,” an NYPD spokesperson said. “Use of social media accounts has also helped solve and prevent crimes through tips, awareness and community interaction.”

When asked about the DOI report, the NYPD referred Motherboard to a press release and added the following.

“I want to reaffirm that there is zero tolerance for bias in the NYPD,” an NYPD spokesperson said. “Bias is often tough to prove because you need to show intent. The OIG itself couldn’t conclusively prove bias in 888 cases that it reviewed. But that doesn’t mean the NYPD isn’t taking action.”

One slide presentation argues that social media use can help supplement traditional policing. A slide displays NYPD officers testifying about the impact of social media.

“People I never met before were able to share community concerns and comments,” NYPD Inspector Fausto Pichardo said, according to the presentation. “People would come up to me on the street and say ‘Hey! I follow you on Twitter!’ Before, I would have probably walked by them and they wouldn’t know I was the CO.”

“With social media I can engage my community at any time of the day from anywhere,” Detective Inspector Chris Morello said, according to the presentation. “I get messages from people in real time about what’s happening — they can now be my eyes and ears.”

But of course, NYPD officers also use more covert methods to supplement their policing. The NYPD has used Palantir, a powerful, secretive data aggregation tool that enables law enforcement to learn nearly everything about a person from a simple search query. The NYPD has also tested controversial predictive policing technology, which claims to be able to “forecast” crime by sending police to places where crime has already occurred. It has abused facial recognition technology by submitting celebrity look-alikes of subjects on camera in order to search for positive matches. It has fleets of drones, which have been deployed at events like the NYC Pride Parade, despite the fact that LGBTQ activists have resisted heavy police presence at Pride events.

According to the NYPD, social media is a way to “connect and engage with local businesses, residents, and other members of the community.” However, social media has never been a tool for the NYPD to be transparent about the activity that actively concerns and frightens New York residents. Trust can’t be extracted through tweets.

All of the documents that were used to inform this article are now public and viewable on Document Cloud.

Internal Documents Show Why the NYPD Tries to Be ‘Funny’ Online syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[cryptoquicknews-blog]

New Post has been published here https://is.gd/jQicnv

About That Orange B… The History of Bitcoin’s Logos

This post was originally published here

Can a logo symbolize the ethos of a project? An industry? An entire movement?

This is perhaps too much meaning to attribute to any one design, but if any logo has come close to the task, it’s that of bitcoin.

Belonging to no corporation, no in-house graphic design team at a shiny Silicon Valley startup, bitcoin’s logo has given the faceless project’s many adherents an image to hold on to. And not only to hold on to – but to emblazon on shirts, stick to laptops and stamp on physical coins – giving the digital project a material existence that has been crucial for its propagation.

Perhaps more importantly, the collaborative development of bitcoin’s unofficial logo framed its encounter with the rest of the world.

In creating a symbol that resembled those of other currencies, bitcoin was visually introduced to newcomers as money. And in elaborating this symbol into a logo that could reside alongside Visa and Mastercard stickers on shop windows, bitcoin was simultaneously and distinctly established as a payment method.

But bitcoin’s current logo is far from its first.

The story of the bitcoin logo, much like the cryptocurrency itself, is one of evolution, one of facelifts, community collaboration and – occasionally – of controversy.

January (or March?) 2009

The earliest iteration of the logo was rendered by pseudonymous bitcoin creator Satoshi Nakamoto himself shortly after the software’s launch and featured a BC on a gold coin.

Little is known about the original logo, as its creation predated the popular Bitcoin Talk forum. However, it is notable that in imitating the appearance of a gold coin, the icon references metallism. This monetary system, in which the value of money is derived from the exchange value of the commodity on which it is based (like gold or silver), is an ideal to which many bitcoin enthusiasts subscribe.

Within Bitcoin Talk, it’s difficult to tell whether users appreciated the original icon or not. Some users proposed alternatives to “BC” such as the Thai baht symbol and the ampersand, while others suggested a combination of both the Thai baht symbol and the Costa Rican colon symbol.

Several users suggested adding a T to the symbol – making it BTC – which remains the ticker symbol for the cryptocurrency today.

Other users, however, argued that it was unnecessary to adopt a standard symbol at all.

“The spirit of bitcoin is that there is no need for a central authority or ‘official’ policy as with other currencies,” one Bitcoin Talk user, Timo Y, wrote, adding:

“We should just let it evolve organically, like a word in a natural language.”

February 24, 2010

Satoshi continued to experiment with the logo.

He updated his original graphic over a year later, shedding the “BC” in favor of the now ubiquitous “B” with two vertical strokes.

The logo was largely well-received by Bitcoin Talk users. However, some objected that the new “B” resembled the Thai baht symbol too closely, and worried that it could create confusion. Others criticized the design for its lack of professional polish.

One such user wrote, “Is there a reason we couldn’t adopt something else before bitcoin gets too big and it’s too late to change without hurting ‘brand’ recognition? It seems silly to stick with something that is ‘ok’ when we could have something great.”

November 1, 2010

Out of thin air – that’s effectively where bitcoin’s most recognizable logo, and its creator, came from. With his first post on Bitcoin Talk, a still unidentified user going by the handle “bitboy” forever changed the visual legacy of bitcoin.

However, you wouldn’t know it from his humble message:

“Hi guys, just drop by to say hi and to share with you some of the graphics I have done. Hope you will find them useful.”

And useful they have been. Orange, flat and off-kilter, these graphics are widely utilized and riffed upon today.

Bitboy transformed Satoshi’s original concept into a more readable, scalable logo that was more brand-able than a simple gold coin. And this seems to have been intentional. Bitboy’s comments on Bitcoin Talk suggest the designs were created with something akin to marketing in mind.

Paradoxically, though, bitboy was inspired by some of the companies bitcoin hopes to unseat.

When another Bitcoin Talk user commented that the designs resembled the Mastercard logo, bitboy replied, “That’s the inspiration. The irony is as much as I hate [Mastercard] and [Visa], it is all about perception when it comes to consumer confidence and behavior. Lol”

The logo’s nod to Mastercard hasn’t been the only push to define bitcoin as a payment method, and the comparison has since created additional pressure for bitcoin and its developers as the project has had to contend with its scaling limitations.

The appeal of bitboy’s designs has also arguably been crucial to the commodification of bitcoin. A Google search suggests bitcoin merchandise has become a burgeoning industry, with more than 11 million results for the search term “bitcoin merchandise” and 34 million results for the term “bitcoin t-shirt.”

April 2014

Still, not everyone has been on board with bitcoin’s de facto logo.

Some, like those behind bitcoinsymbol.org, have been campaigning for years to change it. In fact, they don’t want bitcoin to have anything akin to a logo.

“It’s a unique image file, just like it could be used by a company to sell or promote a product,” the website, which was created by graphic design studio ECOGEX, objects. “Currencies are represented by symbols like $, € or ¥, aiming to be used everywhere by everybody.”

As such, the group advocated for the adoption of the Ƀ, which is a letter in multiple alphabets including that of Latin and several languages in Vietnam.

Speaking to their reasons, the group argues, “As a widely distributed, peer-to-peer digital currency, bitcoin needs an open-source graphic identity, designed with open source software by and for the community.”

October 31, 2016

It wouldn’t be bitcoin without a bit of controversy, however.

This particular controversy began to brew during the fall of 2016, when Phil Wilson (who uses the handle ‘Scronty’) took to Reddit, claiming that he was one of three persons collectively comprising Satoshi Nakamoto.

While Wilson lacks blockchain-based evidence for this – such as the private key to move old funds linked to Satoshi – he published extensive instructions on how to construct both Satoshi’s second gold coin logo and the bitboy’s logos.

These directions were part of a lengthy account of bitcoin’s early history that was later published by Wilson on a dedicated website. The elaborate nature of his story prompted some in the crypto industry to wonder if Wilson was, in fact, part of a team that created the bitcoin software.

Yet, Wilson also alleged that Martti Malmi, the second-ever developer of bitcoin who is also known as “Sirius,” helped with the execution of the second gold coin logo.

But Malmi has denied any involvement, leading many to suspect that Wilson’s claims amount to nothing more than extensive fan fiction about bitcoin’s origin myth.

Bitcoin image via CoinDesk archive

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[loislaneinvestigatesauthors]

An early woman bishop? Diane Cummings and John Rigoli’s The Mystery of Julia Episcopa

How much of the story of Julia Episcopa is based on real history? How did you research this?

John: Based on archeological discoveries and the works of historical scholars, it is widely accepted that women held leadership positions in the early Church. We have evidence of female ordination throughout the Roman Empire from tombstones, frescoes, mosaics, and manuscripts.

Reference: Women Officeholders in Early Christianity by Ute Eisen and Dorothy Irvin.

In the letters of Paul dated to the middle of the first century CE: He greets Prisca, Junia, Julia, and Nereus' sister, who worked and traveled as missionaries in pairs with their husbands or brothers. He tells us that Prisca and her husband risked their lives to save his. He praises Junia as a prominent apostle, clear evidence of women apostles active in spreading the Christian message. Paul's letters refer to house churches where women led the meetings, teaching Jesus’s message.

Reference: Karen L. King Professor of New Testament Studies and the History of Ancient Christianity at Harvard University in the Divinity School.

Though the subject is still controversial, many scholars believe that Paul’s contradictory instructions that women ‘are to remain silent’ was a much later addition to 1st Corinthians, an addition added by a scribe in the 4th century.

 I traveled to Italy and Israel several times, have researched the stories of the Roman Empire and early Christian history over 30 years. They call me an archaeology sleuth.

Diane: Julia is a fictional character based loosely on the biblical character Junia. That Paul considered Junia an apostle is where the similarity to Julia begins and ends, though Junia’s life might have played out exactly as we constructed Julia’s. We placed our protagonist in historically accurate settings and gave her life as it was lived then. We sent our publicist, who lives in Florence, Italy, to Herculaneum so that we could accurately construct her life there.

 A previous title more explicitly stated the women's history and struggle aspect of this book. Why did you decide to change it to the more enigmatic title it has now? 

John: We did not want to confuse readers from ordering the earlier version and felt that the word mystery might rouse readers’ curiosity.

Diane: “A Woman’s Struggle…”didn’t gain much interest when we published it. John and I realized that we could add to the story and improve it. We changed it so much that “Struggle…” diminished in comparison to “Mystery…” We tried to retire the first book so as not to confuse readers with two books of the same name, but as you know, once online, it’s there forever. Therefore, we changed the title.

 What was a woman's life, and a woman's role, like in Roman Empire times? How (or did) Christianity affect society's view of women? 

John: Women were considered full citizens under Roman law, though they could not vote or stand for office and had no formal role in public life outside of certain religious offices, such as the Vestals. However, many wives, widows, or close relatives of prominent men often wielded great political influence behind the scenes. In public, women were expected to play their traditional role in the household. They were responsible for making clothes, running the household. They were expected to be the dignified wife and good mother and not break from this tradition. 

Diane: We’re speaking of the upper classes now. Children were adored in Roman households, especially the girls. They were educated and many could speak several languages by the time they were of marriageable age, at around 14-16. As they reached the age to marry, they could depend on their fathers to find them a suitable husband. Adoring fathers wanted their daughters happily settled in marriage, but at the same time, the match must be financially advantageous to both families. Daughters never decided whom they would marry. Love did not enter into it.

When a girl married, her relationship to her father remained unchanged, and she was legally still a member of her father’s family, with equal inheritance rights to her brothers. This led to a relative level of independence under Roman law, in comparison to other cultures of this age. She will have been trained by her mother in all aspects of running a household. Supervising slaves/servants, organizing and hosting lavish parties, maintaining her family’s status would be done with ease. If she were savvy enough, politically astute, she could speak her mind to her husband, guiding and advancing his career.

 In the earliest days of Yeshua’s preaching, the Romans largely paid little attention to the religious lives of their Israeli lands provided Rome received the taxes they were due. The diaspora Jewish communities throughout the Roman Empire were allowed to practice their religion relatively freely.

 Rome viewed the earliest Christian communities as simply another Jewish cult, and did not differentiate them legally from any other group of Jewish settlers. Though there were some persecutions under Emperor Nero, there was little legal difference under Roman law until the Jewish Rebellion in the latter half of the first century, at which point, the Christian movement sought to distance themselves from the Jewish communities.

 While we do not know precisely when the role of women in the early church started to be curtailed, we do know that women were a dominant force in the early church. We also know that when the fledgling movement was moved to distance itself from Jewish communities in the Empire, the Jews began to be less separatist and conform more closely to mores of the larger Roman society. They wished to blend in in order to avoid the persecution that they were subjected to after the rebellion in Jerusalem and the fall of the Temple in 70 CE.

  How did Julia's social standing impact her life as a woman? How would the story have been different if she had not been noble, if she'd been, say, a farmer's daughter? 

John: Because of her formal education and family status and wealth, Julia was able to sponsor and provide early Christian meetings at her home and recruit other wealthy and high-ranking Romans.

Diane: As a Roman noblewoman, Julia had the best of everything: a fine education, a beautiful home, all the clothes and jewelry one could imagine and a husband who, even if he did not love her, respected and honored her. Julia organized the household, raised children, and mixed with other women of her station, for her a tedious pursuit. Her husband ruled, and what she wanted was subject to his approval. She came to know that what she lacked in her life was personal freedom.

 It would have been difficult for Julia to imagine the life of a farmer’s daughter. Class differences were an unquestioned fact. However, she had the opportunity to travel, to mix with people of many different stations. Her eyes opened, and she developed empathy for the many who suffered. During her lifetime, though, she never quite shed the image of herself as the sophisticated noblewoman, which made her the force she was.  

  What reactions has this book gotten from religious people? Nonreligious people? 

John: Based on the majority of Amazon reviews, most readers have embraced this book - both religious and non-religious. We have presented a plausible story that challenges the status quo, and so far, most people have really loved it.  

 Diane: We were worried, of course. A couple of readers have accused us of “heresy,” but I have to say, our Facebook page is full of lively discussion. Men seem more troubled by the notion of a woman bishop than women do.

 What was your process like working with a coauthor? How did you two collaborate?  

John: We communicate by email and phone as I live in San Francisco and Diane lives in Atlanta. The process works for us because of our different contributions to the writing. My historical research and Diane’s writing expertise.

Diane: Once we decided to work together, our division of labor was obvious. John would be responsible for research and putting into context what he found, and mine would be writing the book. We did no outline. We had a general idea about where to start and no idea where it would end. We made it up as we went along by spending hours on the phone creating scenes and characters. One of John’s creations was Giuseppe. He wanted to add a character with slight limitations—and this idea came well into writing the first draft. I really liked this character after we rounded him out, but we had no idea what to do with him. We talked and talked creating scene after scene, and just when we thought to scrap him, one of us said, “Got it.” And Giuseppe became our caretaker.   

The Mystery of Julia Episcopa is available here. 

[imsohealthy2]

Can Vitamin C Supplements Help with Lead Poisoning?

“Even when a dietary manipulation is confirmed efficient in decreasing blood lead ranges, reliance on such an intervention locations many of the burden for prevention on these most affected and least liable for the underlying environmental causes of lead toxicity. Dietary interventions, due to this fact, must not ever substitute for efforts to scale back lead publicity to secure ranges. Then again, when used as an adjunct to environmental measures, some dietary adjustments might show to have advantages past any influence on lead toxicity.” For instance, consumption of vitamin C-rich meals might assist with “blood strain, blood lipid profiles, and respiratory signs,” along with maybe influencing “lead toxicity by an affect on absorption of lead, elimination of lead, transport inside the physique, tissue binding, or secondary mechanisms of toxicity,” that’s, even simply serving to ameliorate among the injury. However what is that this based mostly on?

In 1939, a outstanding research was revealed, entitled “Vitamin C therapy in lead poisoning,” during which 17 lead business employees got 100 mg of vitamin C a day, the quantity present in one or two oranges, and “with virtually all of them there was a marked acquire in vigor, colour of pores and skin, cheerfulness, blood image, urge for food and skill to sleep properly.” The 17 employees have been chosen as a result of they appeared to be in fairly unhealthy form and presumably even had scurvy, so it’s no marvel just a little vitamin C helped. However vitamin C is an antioxidant, and oxidation is “an necessary mechanism underlying lead toxicity,” so it’s conceivable that it might have mediated among the hurt. However, the vitamin C didn’t seem to only scale back the injury from the lead—it additionally diminished the lead itself. As you possibly can see from 1:43 in my video Can Vitamin C Help with Lead Poisoning?, the quantity of lead in a painter’s urine over a interval of a month after beginning 200 mg of vitamin C a day exhibited a five-fold drop, suggesting he was absorbing much less of the lead into his physique. He was one among three painters researchers tried this on, and evidently all three painters’ ranges dropped. The researchers concluded that these “uncovered to guide…ought to be suggested to incorporate of their eating regimen loads of such wealthy sources of vitamin C as tomatoes (contemporary or canned), uncooked cabbage, oranges or grapefruit, uncooked spinach (and even cooked, in little or no water), uncooked turnips, inexperienced bell peppers, cantaloupe, and so forth.”

Now, this drop in lead within the topics’ urine was seen with solely three painters, and the research didn’t have a management group of painters who didn’t take vitamin C, so maybe everybody’s lead ranges would have dropped for another cause or maybe it was only a coincidence. You don’t know…till you place it to the check.

These authentic information have been so compelling that others have been impressed to attempt to replicate them. I imply, if it truly labored, if vitamin C might assist with lead poisoning, grapefruits could possibly be handed out on the manufacturing unit door! The sooner research didn’t have a great management group, however the researchers weren’t going to make that very same mistake this time. On this research, half of the group received 100 mg of vitamin C a day—not only for a month however for a 12 months—and the opposite group received nothing. The consequence? “Cautious research of a giant group of lead employees failed to disclose any impact of ascorbic acid vitamin C…on the lead focus within the blood…or urine” (emphasis added). There was no distinction of their bodily situation and no adjustments of their blood work, so “no cause has been discovered for recommending the usage of ascorbic acid vitamin C to reduce results of lead absorption.” What a disappointment. It regarded so promising!

Each time I research a subject, I attempt to learn the analysis chronologically so I can expertise the discoveries as they occurred all through historical past. At this level, although, I used to be so tempted to leap to a latest evaluation to see what had occurred within the intervening 74 years since that first research was revealed, however I didn’t need to spoiler alert! myself, so I stored studying the papers sequentially. There have been in vitro research the place researchers dripped antioxidants on lead uncovered cells and it appeared to assist, so that they jumped on the cantaloupe bandwagon, too, however these have been check tube research.

The primary inhabitants research was revealed in 1999, and, as you possibly can see at 4:02 in my video, researchers did discover that these with excessive vitamin C ranges of their blood tended to have decrease lead ranges. Youths with the very best vitamin C ranges had a virtually 90 p.c decrease prevalence of elevated blood lead ranges in comparison with these with the bottom vitamin C ranges. Now, this was a cross-sectional research, only a snapshot in time, so we don’t know if the vitamin C induced a drop in lead or if maybe the lead induced a drop in vitamin C. Lead is a pro-oxidant, so perhaps it ate up the vitamin C. And who has greater vitamin C ranges? Those that can afford to have greater vitamin C ranges and eat numerous vegatables and fruits. “It is usually doable that greater ascorbic acid ranges might characterize more healthy life or better socio-economic standing.” Certainly, perhaps decrease vitamin C ranges are only a proxy for being poor, and that’s the true cause for greater lead ranges.

There are many good causes to be consuming extra vegatables and fruits, and we ought to be consuming extra spinach regardless, however it might be good to know if vitamin C truly helps with lead poisoning. And, to know that, we have to put it to the check.

Sadly, many of the revealed interventions should not very useful, with such titles as “Results of dietary vitamin C supplementation on lead-treated sea cucumbers,….”  And, there’s a shocking variety of articles on the consequences of vitamin C supplementation on mouse testicles. Why? As a result of lead might impair male fertility. Certainly, lead employees seem to have a diminished chance of fathering kids, however this may occasionally partly be because of oxidative stress. In that case, how about giving an antioxidant, like vitamin C, and placing it to the check(es)? No, I’m not speaking about rat testes or suggesting frog testes. Neither am I proposing crab testes. (I didn’t even know crabs had testicles!) Lastly, right here’s one to debate: “Medical relevance of vitamin C amongst lead-exposed infertile males.” A research of human males, which I’ll cowl in Yellow Bell Peppers for Male Infertility and Lead Poisoning?.

I’m all the time conflicted about writing these sorts of blogs and producing movies like Can Vitamin C Help with Lead Poisoning?. I can think about some simply need “the reply,” however these with vested and business pursuits usually exploit that pure impulse. That is drawback with science normally, however maybe significantly in vitamin. In relation to one thing as life-or-death necessary as what to feed ourselves and our households we shouldn’t simply observe somebody’s opinions or beliefs on the matter. We should always demand to see the science. That’s what I attempt to do: Current the accessible information as pretty and even-handedly as doable, and allow you to make up your individual thoughts. You may think about how simply somebody might cherry-pick only one or two research and current a distorted however compelling case for or towards, on this case, vitamin C dietary supplements. That’s why I really feel it’s necessary to current every research of their historic context. Keep tuned for the thrilling conclusion in Yellow Bell Peppers for Male Infertility & Lead Poisoning?.

 For these of you who’re pondering, Why ought to I care about lead? I don’t eat paint chips or use leaded gasoline. Anyway, what’s the large deal?, try my full sequence of lead movies for data on how we received into this mess and among the methods we are able to dig ourselves out:

How the Lead Paint Trade Received Away with It

Lead in Ingesting Water

How the Leaded Fuel Trade Received Away with It

“Regular” Blood Lead Ranges Can Be Poisonous

The Results of Low-Degree Lead Publicity in Adults

The right way to Decrease Lead Ranges with Food regimen: Thiamine, Fiber, Iron, Fats, Fasting?

The right way to Decrease Lead Ranges with Food regimen: Breakfast, Complete Grains, Milk, Tofu?

Greatest Meals for Lead Poisoning: Chlorella, Cilantro, Tomatoes, Moringa?

Greatest Meals for Lead Poisoning: Garlic

Is Lipstick Secure Given the Lead Contamination?

Can Saunas Detoxify Lead from the Physique?

How A lot Lead Is in Natural Hen Soup (Bone Broth)?

Lead in Calcium Supplements

Ought to Pregnant Ladies Take Calcium Supplements to Decrease Lead Ranges?

The Rise in Blood Lead Ranges at Being pregnant and Menopause

Lead Contamination in Fish and Sport

Lead Contamination in Sizzling Sauces

In well being,

Michael Greger, M.D.

PS: When you haven’t but, you possibly can subscribe to my free movies right here and watch my dwell shows:

2019: Proof-Primarily based Weight Loss

2016: How Not To Die: The Function of Food regimen in Stopping, Arresting, and Reversing Our High 15 Killers

2015: Meals as Drugs: Stopping and Treating the Most Dreaded Ailments with Food regimen

2014: From Desk to In a position: Combating Disabling Ailments with Meals

2013: Extra Than an Apple a Day

2012: Uprooting the Main Causes of Loss of life

Unique supply: https://nutritionfacts.org/2020/09/15/can-vitamin-c-supplements-help-with-lead-poisoning/

7 Day Smoothie Weight Loss Diet Plan

[click2watch]

About That Orange B… The History of Bitcoin’s Logos

Can a logo symbolize the ethos of a project? An industry? An entire movement?

This is perhaps too much meaning to attribute to any one design, but if any logo has come close to the task, it’s that of bitcoin.

Belonging to no corporation, no in-house graphic design team at a shiny Silicon Valley startup, bitcoin’s logo has given the faceless project’s many adherents an image to hold on to. And not only to hold on to – but to emblazon on shirts, stick to laptops and stamp on physical coins – giving the digital project a material existence that has been crucial for its propagation.

Perhaps more importantly, the collaborative development of bitcoin’s unofficial logo framed its encounter with the rest of the world.

In creating a symbol that resembled those of other currencies, bitcoin was visually introduced to newcomers as money. And in elaborating this symbol into a logo that could reside alongside Visa and Mastercard stickers on shop windows, bitcoin was simultaneously and distinctly established as a payment method.

But bitcoin’s current logo is far from its first.

The story of the bitcoin logo, much like the cryptocurrency itself, is one of evolution, one of facelifts, community collaboration and – occasionally – of controversy.

January (or March?) 2009

The earliest iteration of the logo was rendered by pseudonymous bitcoin creator Satoshi Nakamoto himself shortly after the software’s launch and featured a BC on a gold coin.

Little is known about the original logo, as its creation predated the popular Bitcoin Talk forum. However, it is notable that in imitating the appearance of a gold coin, the icon references metallism. This monetary system, in which the value of money is derived from the exchange value of the commodity on which it is based (like gold or silver), is an ideal to which many bitcoin enthusiasts subscribe.

Within Bitcoin Talk, it’s difficult to tell whether users appreciated the original icon or not. Some users proposed alternatives to “BC” such as the Thai baht symbol and the ampersand, while others suggested a combination of both the Thai baht symbol and the Costa Rican colon symbol.

Several users suggested adding a T to the symbol – making it BTC – which remains the ticker symbol for the cryptocurrency today.

Other users, however, argued that it was unnecessary to adopt a standard symbol at all.

“The spirit of bitcoin is that there is no need for a central authority or ‘official’ policy as with other currencies,” one Bitcoin Talk user, Timo Y, wrote, adding:

“We should just let it evolve organically, like a word in a natural language.”

February 24, 2010

Satoshi continued to experiment with the logo.

He updated his original graphic over a year later, shedding the “BC” in favor of the now ubiquitous “B” with two vertical strokes.

The logo was largely well-received by Bitcoin Talk users. However, some objected that the new “B” resembled the Thai baht symbol too closely, and worried that it could create confusion. Others criticized the design for its lack of professional polish.

One such user wrote, “Is there a reason we couldn’t adopt something else before bitcoin gets too big and it’s too late to change without hurting ‘brand’ recognition? It seems silly to stick with something that is ‘ok’ when we could have something great.”

November 1, 2010

Out of thin air – that’s effectively where bitcoin’s most recognizable logo, and its creator, came from. With his first post on Bitcoin Talk, a still unidentified user going by the handle “bitboy” forever changed the visual legacy of bitcoin.

However, you wouldn’t know it from his humble message:

“Hi guys, just drop by to say hi and to share with you some of the graphics I have done. Hope you will find them useful.”

And useful they have been. Orange, flat and off-kilter, these graphics are widely utilized and riffed upon today.

Bitboy transformed Satoshi’s original concept into a more readable, scalable logo that was more brand-able than a simple gold coin. And this seems to have been intentional. Bitboy’s comments on Bitcoin Talk suggest the designs were created with something akin to marketing in mind.

Paradoxically, though, bitboy was inspired by some of the companies bitcoin hopes to unseat.

When another Bitcoin Talk user commented that the designs resembled the Mastercard logo, bitboy replied, “That’s the inspiration. The irony is as much as I hate [Mastercard] and [Visa], it is all about perception when it comes to consumer confidence and behavior. Lol”

The logo’s nod to Mastercard hasn’t been the only push to define bitcoin as a payment method, and the comparison has since created additional pressure for bitcoin and its developers as the project has had to contend with its scaling limitations.

The appeal of bitboy’s designs has also arguably been crucial to the commodification of bitcoin. A Google search suggests bitcoin merchandise has become a burgeoning industry, with more than 11 million results for the search term “bitcoin merchandise” and 34 million results for the term “bitcoin t-shirt.”

April 2014

Still, not everyone has been on board with bitcoin’s de facto logo.

Some, like those behind bitcoinsymbol.org, have been campaigning for years to change it. In fact, they don’t want bitcoin to have anything akin to a logo.

“It’s a unique image file, just like it could be used by a company to sell or promote a product,” the website, which was created by graphic design studio ECOGEX, objects. “Currencies are represented by symbols like $, € or ¥, aiming to be used everywhere by everybody.”

As such, the group advocated for the adoption of the Ƀ, which is a letter in multiple alphabets including that of Latin and several languages in Vietnam.

  Speaking to their reasons, the group argues, “As a widely distributed, peer-to-peer digital currency, bitcoin needs an open-source graphic identity, designed with open source software by and for the community.”

October 31, 2016

It wouldn’t be bitcoin without a bit of controversy, however.

This particular controversy began to brew during the fall of 2016, when Phil Wilson (who uses the handle ‘Scronty’) took to Reddit, claiming that he was one of three persons collectively comprising Satoshi Nakamoto.

While Wilson lacks blockchain-based evidence for this – such as the private key to move old funds linked to Satoshi – he published extensive instructions on how to construct both Satoshi’s second gold coin logo and the bitboy’s logos.

These directions were part of a lengthy account of bitcoin’s early history that was later published by Wilson on a dedicated website. The elaborate nature of his story prompted some in the crypto industry to wonder if Wilson was, in fact, part of a team that created the bitcoin software.

Yet, Wilson also alleged that Martti Malmi, the second-ever developer of bitcoin who is also known as “Sirius,” helped with the execution of the second gold coin logo.

But Malmi has denied any involvement, leading many to suspect that Wilson’s claims amount to nothing more than extensive fan fiction about bitcoin’s origin myth.

Bitcoin image via CoinDesk archive

This news post is collected from CoinDesk

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[citizentruth-blog]

The Hypocrisy of Trump Accusing China of Election Meddling - U.S. NEWS

New Post has been published on https://citizentruth.org/hypocrisy-trump-china-election-meddling/

The Hypocrisy of Trump Accusing China of Election Meddling

While much has been made of recent foreign interference in U.S. elections, election meddling is a long-established political tactic especially favored by the U.S.

In last week’s United Nations (U.N) General Assembly session, U.S. President Donald Trump accused China of meddling in the upcoming midterm election in November and aiding his opponents. But election meddling by foreign governments has a long history as a tactic employed by both the U.S. and foreign governments.

“Regrettably, we found that China has been attempting to interfere in our upcoming 2018 election, coming up in November, against my administration,” the real estate mogul said on Wednesday.

“They do not want me or us to win because I am the first president ever to challenge China on trade. And we are winning on trade, we are winning at every level,” he added.

However, Trump did not provide any evidence to support his claim. Previously, several high-ranked officials in the Trump administration also made accusations against China related to election meddling.

Last August, National Security Adviser John Bolton said that China is one of the countries that has a potential to meddle in the U.S election, besides Russia, Iran, and North Korea.

“Well, I can say definitively that it’s a sufficient national security concern about Chinese meddling, Iranian meddling, and North Korean meddling that we’re taking steps to try and prevent it,” Bolton said to ABCNews.

U.S. and China relations have soured following Trump’s decision to slap an import tariff on Chinese goods worth $200 billion in early September – the latest tariff to fight against what the U.S. calls unfair business practices carried out by China.

Russia and China React to Accusations of Election Meddling

China’s Foreign Ministry strongly denied the U.S. accusation made at the U.N General session, saying that Beijing always follows a non-interference foreign policy.

“China has all along followed the principle of non-interference in other countries’ domestic affairs,” said Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi in response to Trump’s accusation.

Russia has been accused of meddling in the U.S. presidential election that helped Trump to take office in 2016. In response to Trump’s accusation of China, Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov was delighted that the U.S. leader no longer blamed the Kremlin for interfering in the ballot.

“This time he blamed China only for interference, he did not mention Russia – well he didn’t mention us before,” the minister said while speaking to press at the United Nations.

He smiled and added, “We are the last people interested in interfering in interior affairs.”

When asked later about any Russian interference in South Africa, Lavrov responded, “No, this time we are busy with meddling with Catalonia elections,” prompting laughter. “No time for this, you know, it’s too far.”

A report from U.S. intelligence in January 2017 declared that Russian President Vladimir Putin interfered in the 2016 U.S. election with a goal of ruining trust in the American democratic process and hurting the image of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. The report also stated that Russia tried to help pave the way for Trump’s candidacy.

Foreign Meddling in US Elections is Nothing New

The reputed American academic Noam Chomsky said that Israel’s intervention in U.S. elections is far greater than that of Russia. He referred to Netanyahu’s speech before the U.S. Congress in 2015 on the unsigned nuclear deal. The Israeli Prime Minister arrived without informing the then president, delivered a speech in  Congress and was widely applauded.

“Israeli intervention in U.S. elections vastly overwhelms anything the Russians may have done. I mean, even to the point where the prime minister of Israel, Netanyahu, goes directly to Congress, without even informing the president, and speaks to Congress, with overwhelming applause, to try to undermine the president’s policies—what happened with Obama and Netanyahu in 2015. Did Putin come to give an address to the joint sessions of Congress trying to—calling on them to reverse U.S. policy, without even informing the president?” the prominent activist said in an interview with DemocracyNow.

Implications of China and Russia involvement in U.S. elections are nothing new. The re-election of Bill Clinton in 1996 was alleged to have been supported by donations from several prominent Chinese with ties to the Chinese government. Media exposure at the time was minor in comparison to Russia’s alleged role in the 2016 election.

While Vladimir Putin has denied any election meddling in the 2016 poll, in the 1960’s the then-president of the Soviet Union, Nikita Khrushchev, boasted frankly about his support for John F.Kennedy.

“You know, Mr. Kennedy, we voted for you,” Khruschev told Kennedy as Kruschev alleged in his 1961 memoir.

Kruschev claimed Kennedy responded, “You’re right. I admit you played a role in the election and cast your vote for me.”

The U.S. is Not So Innocent of Election Meddling

During the Cold War, U.S. interference in other countries’ elections was so common it was accepted as normal. According to Don H.Levin, a postdoctoral fellow at the Institute for Politics and Strategy at Carnegie Mellon University, there were 68 American interventions in worldwide elections from 1946 to 1989.

Presidential candidates that were backed by Washington in that era were no more democratic than their opponents. Instead, the U.S. focused on helping any candidate that was willing to serve its interests.

However, in recent years, U.S. interference in elections has claimed a purpose of strengthening democratic processes and civil rights in foreign countries. Intervention is often also carried out openly by providing grants to civic and business organizations in addition to political parties.

Many dispute the U.S.’ true motive behind foreign interference. As an example, the U.S. claims their involvement in Syria is based on anti-terrorism initiatives and humanitarian concerns. However, others argue the U.S. is trying to institute a coup and remove Syrian President Bashar al-Assad from office.

While meddling in foreign elections is arguably a long-established political tactic, it is the nature of meddling that has changed. The back alley deals, shady financial transactions and even attempted assassinations of the old days are being replaced by big data and the psychological manipulation of voters that is made possible via the internet.

Election meddling itself, however, is likely here to stay.