#images from all these episodes just living in my head forever

[cuddleswinchester]

My favorite MASH thing is when they have to do field surgery with even less resources, sanitation, and time than they have at the unit. Charles longing to be back at the 4077 as he stabs a guy in the chest with a pocketknife to alleviate pressure on his collapsed lung. Hawkeye dipping bloodied hands in an almost empty basin of alcohol for half a second between patients at the aid station and knowing it doesn’t do any good. Father Mulcahy being talked through a tracheotomy over the phone. Margaret delivering a baby on a dirt floor. It just raises the stakes and shows how much these people both need and want to help, no matter what.

[gingiesworld]

Blossoms of Spring

Requested by @louxbloom hope you enjoy it buddy.

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Smut. Fluff. Amab! Reader

18+ MINORS DNI

Wanda had been living with her parents since she graduated from college. Hoping to find a job in her old High School. Once she had gotten the job, Y/N was the first person she had told. Heading over to their apartment with a bottle of wine in her hand.

"Hey." They greeted her as she used her key that they had made for her.

"I got the job!" She squealed as Y/N was fast to bring her in for a hug.

"That's awesome Wanda!" They exclaimed as they ushered her inside. Grabbing two mugs as Wanda looked for the corkscrew.

"Where's the corkscrew?" She questioned as they smiled.

"In the shop with the glasses I have yet to buy." They told her as she just laughed. Watching as they got the boning knife from their fishing kit and took the cork out. "You're lucky I know my way around a knife."

"That's only thanks to your dad and his obsession over fishing." Wanda told them as they poured the two mugs out.

"To your future Wanda." They toasted her, clinking their mugs together before they ushered her into the living room. Of course she was fast enough to grab the wine and took her seat beside them.

"I can't wait to move out." Wanda told them as they smiled at her, listening to her rambling about growing up and paying her own way.

"Move in here." Y/N blurted out.

"What?" Wanda questioned as Y/N cleared their throat.

"Move in here, I have a spare room. It's close to the school and it will be nice to have the company." They told her as she smiled endearingly at them. "We can figure out the bills and rent once you're settled in and have your first pay check."

"You'd do that for me?" Wanda questioned as they nodded.

"You're my best friend Wanda." They told her, speaking the words that would hurt the two of them. As the week went on, Y/N had helped Wanda pack up her things at her parents. Y/N soon come across Wanda's nightstand, not realising that Wanda would be embarrassed. "You naughty girl." They teased Wanda as they held up a pink vibrator. "I thought you were innocent."

"I am." Wanda blushed as she moved them over to her drawers and took over her nightstand. Only to regret it when Y/N found her lacey thongs.

"Ooh my, a matching set." They teased her as they held up a red lacey lingerie set. "I bet you looked sexy for whoever you bought this for."

"You know very well that I haven't." Wanda snatched it from them. Scowling as they chuckled at her. But the image of Wanda in that specific set was now burned into their mind.

As Wanda had settled in her new home, Y/N had made sure that their were places she could hang her photos. They wanted her to feel at home in their apartment.

Over time, the two found it hard to ignore their feelings. Wanda would always blush at the simple gestures, like making her coffee when she doesn't expect it. Buying her flowers as they went to do the grocery shopping. Always telling her, 'I saw these and thought of you.' All the time as Wanda fell more and more for them.

The night they had put on Dick Van Dyke, Wanda's favourite episode and food from her favourite restaurant as she soaked in the bath after a hard day at work.

Once the food was eaten and the show was paused, Wanda turned to face Y/N with a questioning look on her face.

"Why do you do all of this?" She asked them as they sighed. Getting ready to tell her the truth about their feelings.

"I uh." They cleared their throat nervously as they turned to face her, gazing into her curious eyes as she hoped to hear what she wanted to hear. "I know we have been best friends forever and we have always been there for each other and over that time in High School." They took a deep breath. "I started to fall for you Wanda. The person you are, I love everything about you. I am in love with you Wanda and I know me say..."

Wanda never let them finish as she kissed them, their hands wrapping around her waist as they kissed her back. Wanda's hands wrapped around their neck as the kiss deepened.

Wanda soon straddled their lap and rolled her hips against their growing bulge. Wanda soon moaning as Y/N started to kiss down her neck. Sucking and licking as she moaned.

"Take me to your room." She told them breathlessly. They picked her up with ease, walking with her in their arms. Letting her feet touch the floor as the two stripped.

"You are beautiful Wanda." Y/N told her softly. Their hands wrapping around her waist, the two gasping at the skin contact before Wanda reached up and caressed their face, leaning up to take their lips in her own. Y/N guiding her to lay down on their bed, hovering above her, gazing into her eyes.

A lot being said in one intense gaze before they leaned in, kissing her tenderly before they ran a lone finger through her folds. Teasing her entrance as they kiss her lips, soon to be swallowing her moans at they fingered her.

The pleasure was intense in that moment, Wanda had given herself over to them. Every part of her was theirs and theirs alone. Even as they thrust their hips into her as the night wore on. Many positions as the two never wanted to be apart in any way.

It was sunrise when the two had finally finished, Wanda lay in Y/N's arms as the morning sun shone through the window. A perfect view of the blossom trees in the quad could be seen. Spring becoming their favourite season as the love they felt for one another had blossomed into something more breathtakingly intense.

"What does this mean for us?" Wanda whispered as she traced patterns on Y/N's stomach.

"Well, I don't want this to be just for tonight." Y/N confessed. "I want it to be for now, forever. You are my forever Wanda and I would love to see many more blossoms in the spring with you lay in my arms."

"I love you so much." Wanda whispered as she kissed them passionately. Looking forward to the challenges that lay ahead for the two to tackle as one.

[themoonsbride]

She's Mine, You Stay Away From Her .

pairing; Peter Ballard x Fem!Reader

summary; Reader is basically in Elevens spot like in the episodes leading up to 7; The Massacre at Hawkins Lab in season 4

warnings; swearing, descriptions of - Murder, insanity, hatred, being shocked, anxiety, isolation. Peter himself is considered a warning for this fic.

a/n; I've spent forever working on this agh!!! it's been taking up my time of working on other requests </3 but I got the inspiration of this fic based of an edit I saw of Peter to this song! I also just really wanted to write him to a Pierce The Veil song because they're my favorite band :) (HOPING THIS DOESNT FLOP HHJ)

word count; 5.1k

--×♥︎×--

The lingering quietness was always off putting inside of Hawkins Labrotory. It always made you feel uneasy. The fact that you were forced to live and work here everyday for most likely the rest of your life was uneasy.

But there was nothing that could be done, Martin Brenner was a dangerously powerful man who ruled over everybody that was within the walls of his facility.

And it was clear to you that he had not a single silver of an amount for care for the humans inside of his building either. If he did, he wouldn't be scientifically experimenting on children to give them different forms of physiological powers. It was inhuman to do this to undeveloped brains of practically toddlers.

And you having to watch and document it happen every single day was picking away at your sanity piece by piece. What you would do if you could've had the power the children withheld.

You would take matters into your own hands and put an end to all of this insanity that went on, put an end to the man behind the madness.

You weren't sure if you were losing your sanity, or if it was already lost. But you would do anything to break free of this hell, Martin seemed to be Satan himself when someone did something he didn't like, if they even breathed the wrong way, his wrath would come their way and would last for longer than you'd prefer to admit.

But you weren't the only one who seemed to grow this type of hatred for a place like this, no. There was another, And though you'd never been directly told you weren't the only one, you could tell. It was obvious in your eyes.

He seemed to be Brenners favorite, and also his most hated worker, And his name is Peter Ballard. A man with the facial features made of pure beauty like a God.

He isolated from others, as they were uninterested in him and often spat shit at him, infront of him and behind his back and you'd heard it all. Some of the pesky rumors that went around about that gorgeous man seemed so ridiculous a fucking 4th grader could've came up with better.

You were both just looking at eachother, the tension wasn't awkward between the two of you, she was nervous to be standing before you, you towered over her.

She probably would have started to sweat thick bullets if it weren't constantly fucking cold. Which surprisingly didn't constantly get the children sick, maybe them having humanly impossible powers strengthened their immune system to the point they don't get sick anymore.

It wouldn't suprise you if that were true, nothing was surprising anymore unless Brenner left you off with a warning and not 3 hours of you getting shocked to the point your nerves went numb and you felt like you were about to take your last fucking breathe.

"play." Eleven mumbled out and lightly tugged on the hem of your skirt. you raised a brow at her, your face felt blank, and numb, you felt numb inside too.

"play what." your voice was clear and ferm, your remember how your mother used to tell you when you were a teenager that she loved the femininity in your voice, it made you sound more professional.

The image of your mother's face in your head made you feel a certain way, a feeling that had felt lost for a long time, like it was hidden deep and burrowed inside you.

"puzzle." Eleven spoke, bringing you back to the reality you lived in today. the dreadful reality you lived in.

"okay." her small fingers wrapped around your index one, guiding you towards a small table, leaving you next to one of the chairs, you sat down feeling somewhat hesitant. You didn't understand, why now? why would Eleven now be talking to you?

Maybe it was something under the control of Peter, or Brenner, maybe either of them convinced her to talk to you, to get you to like her and use her as a weakness towards you. You didn't trust anyone anymore, the first look you took inside this building, you knew you were fucked.

Eleven sat across from you and placed a tiger children's puzzle onto the table, opening the box carefully. Everything felt off, You'd never spoken to Peter before, but you didn't need too, you already knew he hated this facility as much if not more than you did.

But you did supervise the rainbow room together, You were never a fan of the room, infact you seemed to have a weird sense of hatred for it, the way the room was displayed.

Maybe it was those muted rainbows on the wall and flooring. Or all the toys that surrounded them to make it seem like they were cared for, when in reality it was most likely to keep them distracted from the mortifying reality around them.

The somewhat nice part about that room was the children mostly placed nicely with one another, the youngest would play with wooden building blocks or solve animal puzzles. There were only around 4 of the children that were in their tweens..

It was 002 and his gang, God you fucking hated 002 and his devious little followers. All they did was bother one of the subjects, and specifically one, her name was Eleven.

She never caused trouble, because she was too afraid. She feared everybody, and she was only a little bit older than the youngest ones. She was 8 years old, the younger ones were more around 5-6.

She was especially scared of the workers, but she liked to play around with the puzzles and challenge herself to see if she could solve them, she also seemed to be observant.

She seemed to take interest in you, often you would catch her looking over at you, but you'd never thought anything of it, mainly because you couldn't care enough.

But today was different, because this time instead of the small girl just eagerly staring at you, she ended up walking her walk over towards you. You tried not to show the suprise on your face, you saw Peter watching her as if he were a hawk and she was a meek prey from the corner of your eye.

Her shaved head looked up at your eyes, You assumed she wanted to talk to you, but since she was 8, and no one cared to teach these beings anything else other than how to enhance their powers, they most likely didn't understand how to form full sentences from what you've seen and heard.

You looked around the room carefully without trying to move your head much, you started inspecting the rest of the ominously quiet room. The children were usual to minding their business.

You brought your gaze to the blonde man who kept to himself, and noticed he couldn't seem to keep his own gaze off of you.

'..Weird.'

You looked back over at Eleven and found her struggling to fit a puzzle piece to connect with another, though it was the wrong piece. You carefully took the small cardboard photo from her tiny fingers and placed it in the spot, she just stared at you, like she were embarrassed.

You weren't really sure what you were supposed to do or say now, you sort of just awkwardly smiled, it was too quiet for you to speak, your sanity didn't want you to crack somehow by simply speaking to an 8 year old.

She sort of just awkwardly looked away from you like she felt shy or wanted to speak, but obviously as noted before, she doesn't really understand how. Which is expected.

She instead just went back to figuring out how to member the tiger into a normal photo once more. You observed her movements closely, usually when she would think very critically of her next move she'd place her small index finger onto her chin or lower lip.

Every now and again she had to look up in your direction, as her way of saying "help" or "can't figure it out" and you wordlessly helped her and pieced the correct parts together. She'd finished her puzzle just as Brenner had entered the room.

"Goodmorning Children." And there she was to get quick on her feet and in her spot where she always stood in union with the rest of her "siblings."

You were meant to stand as well and did so, you watched all of them follow out behind Brenner and were fast to break the puzzle and place it back inside its box and onto the shelf where it was kept.

When you turned again, Peter was still stood in that spot next to the door, you knew he was watching you, and as much as it would've put anyone else on edge, it didn't for you. You were constantly being watched by your every move in your life now, so it seemed like nothing new.

--×♥︎×--

It was now your break, taking your time into the breakroom, it was like any other room. Only with a fridge and a counter top inside of it with a coffee machine. The coffee was rancid, tasted horrid.

The taste of the dirt water reminded you of when your father forced you into summer camp, when he first told you he had signed you up, you were extremely pissed.

"I'm am not going daddy! I do not want to go to summer camp! I'd rather be home!"

You would whine and complain to him, but there was nothing to be done, he already signed the paperwork and handed over the cash.

And when you had gone, it was more fun than you had expected. You went inside of a swamp and a creek, and went fishing, did tie die and collected rocks and small insects. You'd even found a snapping turtle once.

Remembering the times of your early teenage years and how you'd been happy made you feel a sense of grief, and also anger. With yourself and the world around you.

You pushed through the double doors of the breakroom, grabbing water from the half broken refrigerator and sat down by yourself, alone.

You were always alone, even when there were others around you, you were alone. No one seemed to take interest in you, not like you'd wanted them to anymore at this point.

Even if you could see through that perfectly physical man with those deep blue eyes, you were still alone. you always were since birth. Barely ever had many friends, always the targeted girl when it came to kids who had troubles in their own lives and had the shit audacity to take it out on you.

What you would've given to get your revenge on those little fucks at the time you were dealing with them.

What you would give to get your revenge on Brenner and all the shit he's dumped onto you and the rest of the people who were imprisoned here.

Your train of thought about you getting your pay back was interrupted by the sound of the doors opening again. You didn't want to make it noticeable that you were checking who was entering, But you weren't too shocked to see it was Peter.

You stared at the bottle of water that was held in your hands, small beads of sweat forming on the plastic and making your hands moist.

The sound of coffee pouring from the dispenser of the machine filled the room, no matter how similar you could tell you were to others, you never understood the trouble they would put themselves through of drinking the mud water that was labeled as "coffee" in this building.

what's something that was a shock to you about the man was that he'd sat across from you, he never interacted with you before and now he's suddenly across from you, you could feel him staring again.

It was like Lazer beams burning through metal. You'd felt that same feeling with Brenner multiple times before, it was an anxiety inducing feeling.

It reminded you of how he'd lecture and yell at you for the littlest of actions, like giving one of the children candy or something else that doesn't even matter.

And then when you would refuse to look at him because you didn't want to see that familiar cold glare that would send shrieks of fear throughout your entire being he'd send you to the punishment room.

Your skin began to form goosebumps at the memory of your entire body going numb and not being able to feel anything and your throat constantly hoarse and sore from that fucking collar he'd put on you like you were some dog.

Your skin felt itself getting warmer like your blood was boiling with rage from all your mistreatment and how you could do absolutely nothing about what you've gone through.

You shook your thoughts away, not wanting to physically remember what it felt like to wear that collar or feel those metal rods connect with your skin.

"Eleven seemed to take an interest in you today." His voice broke the imagery of your memories and your eyes automatically looked into his, they weren't cold like Brenners, they were light, and reminded you of clear skies during the summer that you used to take in while you'd make castles at the beach when you were a child, or would learn to ride your bike as your mother helped guide you in the spring, how you'd ride around your neighborhood as a teenager and would embrace the warm air and beautiful sky.

"Yeah, I suppose she did." Your voice was flat, but it wasn't cold, or mean, but it also didn't sound normal, but what would he know anyway? he's never even spoken to you before.

"She usually doesn't do that with the orderly." He clearly wanted to talk to you about something and it wasn't Eleven, but you weren't sure if you should just go along with it, or tell him to get on with the point already.

"She usually isn't like that with anyone." you remarked, there was a slight snark in your tone, you didn't really want to come off as snarky, but who wouldn't after all the shit that goes on in this place?

"So I've noticed" He didn't sound mad, and he still hadn't taken his eyes off you the entire time, it was a little uncomfortable how good he was at holding eye contact, but maybe that's what the point of making it so strong, was to make the other uncomfortable.

Or maybe it could've been unintentional, it was clear why it was one of the reasons your coworkers commented it on it and called him 'weird' or 'creepy.'

It didn't make you as uncomfortable as it would've others, it was normal to feel that way in Hawkins Labrotory. But when it was Peter who was making this strong of eye contact, it didn't seem that uncomfortable anymore. His eyes were so angelic and his hair seemed perfect in the horrible light, almost like there was a halo around his head.

It felt almost like you were losing yourself in him, like the way you'd lose yourself in the pages of a book, or a masterpiece of a drawing that someone would spend day and night on.

Maybe because in your eyes, he was like a masterpiece drawing, he was beautiful.

The both of you were just glaring at eachother now. It wasn't awkward, it only would've been if you told yourself it was. You learned a long time ago about how it worked that way, your mother had told you.

"That was so awkward.." You spoke quietly, walking out of the doctors office with your mother.

"It was only awkward because you had told yourself it was." She replied, walking to the car that your father was waiting in.

"What do you mean?" You looked up at her as she suddenly stopped in her movements and looked down at your 13 year old self.

"It was only awkward, because you told yourself the tension and the interaction was awkward." You were still confused.

"If you don't tell yourself when something is awkward, you won't feel so anxious or uncomfortable anymore." And then she continued back in her tracks.

you were only 13, so you still didn't understand what the hell she was talking about, and even now you didn't really understand. She'd worded it in a way were it sounded like she thought awkwardness was just an illusion of the human mind.

Sometimes your mother would be very smart with her words or explanations, and others it seemed like she just didn't care enough to hear you talk about how you felt, or she just wasn't sure how to explain something to you.

It was now that you realized that you still didn't respond, assuming that's what he was waiting for, there weren't any words that were forming out of your throat, and lunch was about to end anyways so you just stood to your feet.

"Lunch is about to end, maybe I'll see you tomorrow." You spoke quickly before exiting, he was watching you the entire time, of course.

--×♥︎×--

It was now Training of the next day, the children were lined up against the wall whilst they waited for their turn to use their powers on a ring a bulbs that was implanted in the floor infront of a metal chair.

It was currently 002's turn to attempt to light the glass bulbs, You walked up and placed the headset onto his buzzed scalp.

You felt your skin grow warm with how close in contact you were with him as a visous anger grew deeper in you for him. And for a split second, you were thinking of what it would've looked like if you killed him right then infront of everyone.

When you finished placing the wiring on his head you quickly walked away back in your spot at the corner of the room, clamping your hands behind yourself as usual.

You glanced over at Peter, and he was quick to look back over at you, but it wasn't like he darted his head over at you, it was slow and calm. Maybe that's what was off-putting about him that people didn't seem to like.

It was sort of assuring to see him be slow and calm, almost like he was tired, or maybe just burnt out, whether it was mentally or physically you didn't know, but it was sticking out to you.

He was good at masking how tense he was and how much he hated everyone here, as were you. Maybe he could see through you too and that's why he had spoken to you yesterday.

He seemed to take a liking in Eleven though, he was sitting next to her and talking to her a few days before she'd spoken to you, which is why you were curious as to whether if it were his doing or not.

Brenner had forced Eleven to go next by brainwashing her with a piece of fucking candy. A piece of candy she clearly could've cares less for, she was so obviously scared and uncomfortable. Her powers weren't as strong as the rest of her siblings.

Peter had went up and placed a headset on her stubble hair, unnecessarily fixing the front of her headset. He'd whispered something to her, why would he have done so right infront of everyone in the room? infront of Brenner? He was practically asking for the punishment room, but why would you care? it wasn't you who would be tortured later on.

It was her who had you do that stupid puzzle with her, you weren't the one who came up to her asking to solve a puzzle, she just up and decided randomly to ask you to solve one with her. after almost 2 weeks of her just eye-balling you.

--×♥︎×--

It was now a week later, and todays training was different from anything else they've done before, Peter's been interacting with Eleven more, and it's quite strange.

Regardless of all the rumors of how strange he is, this was one of things you did find weird, why has he started randomly started interacting with her? What was he telling her?

Brenner proceeded to draw 2 circles with white chalk onto the lominum floor as he spoke.

"For today's lesson, we are going to play a game." His voice was mutated to sound kind with a plastic smile on his face. It was a relief that these children didn't understand how powerful and cruel he truly was, but it was also so fucked in the head that he would do this to any of them and act like some big teddy bear and like this was okay.

It wasn't, obviously. But it just pissed you off so much, and it only made things worse when you'd remind yourself there was nothing you could do about it. It started to feel like every passing day it felt more and more like you were living in an insane asylum.

You used to think about escaping from time to time, but now you full on fucking fantazied it. you truly were starting to go insane, who wouldn't though.

002 was beating all of his opponents, and then it was Elevens turn, and when Peter finished tying on her blindfold, he wasn't very quiet to whisper "Good Luck" in her ear.

This started to seem tedious to you, what the fuck is he telling her? what if he's attempting to brainwash her just like Brenner? Though you told yourself multiple times you could've given less of a shit about these kids, there was a part of you that felt protective over Eleven.

Almost maybe like a motherly kind of protection? Though it wouldn't matter, there's nothing you can protect her from because both of you live in danger. She just isn't aware of it.

To your suprise, Eleven beat 2, she had slammed his body against the mirror behind him, leaving it cracked, he was shaking and looked at her with fear But he'd get his revenge soon, and you were sure of it, whether or not he'd be successful in getting away with it was yet a mystery. Because he's gotten away with it before, you've seen it yourself.

You could still remember it like it were yesterday, when you had to monitor the cameras.

"You're weak, and useless. You don't deserve to have the place as papa's favorite.." His voice was hushed and filled with rage.

"I-im sorry.." Eleven was so young at the time, her lip was trembling and tears were forming in her waterline.

"I'm gonna hurt you, for having what I dont.."

"please d-don-" But before she could even beg him further to spare her, she was already being pushed around the room, into tables and on the floor.

And then they left her there, crying.

Why they were all in there? was never answered, but she shouldn't have been in there by herself with 002 in the same building as her.

But the small amount of guilt you felt for her on that day still lingers. 002 stumbled to his feet and sat with the other children.

"It looks like we have a new winner." Brenner spoke, Eleven seemed shocked and nervous at the same time, but at this point it seemed like nervous was just a normal feeling and vibe to get from her.

--×♥︎×--

You were back inside the breakroom now. Holding a bottle of water you most likely weren't going to drink. And Peter entered the room too, but this time was different.

"Miss L/n, may I speak to you, alone?" His tone sounded pleadful and curious.

"We are alone." You answered firmly, but he didn't respond he just continued to stare at you, and then that's when you glared at the camera in the corner of the room and sighed to yourself.

Standing to your feet and walking over to him, you didn't trust him or his motives regardless of seeing his feelings. it was how everyone felt about this place.

He took you inside of a small broom closet that seemed like it was never entered anymore, he closed the door behind himself and you just stood there.

He faced you and smiled lightly at you, but you were careful go examine him.

Your grandmother always told you to keep your head up and seem serious, men would take you seriously, especially if you'd show you didn't have a care for them.

And throughout your life, it mostly worked, but Peter was already here when you came here 2 years ago, so he probably would be smarter than that.

"How would you like to escape with Eleven and i?" His tone was excited but quiet.

"What?" You were in pure shock and weren't even sure if you heard him correctly, but you did your best to keep a straight face.

"I've been speaking with Eleven"

"I've noticed that." You kept your voice ferm and serious, you didn't want to agree with him, maybe if you kept this conversation with him, you'd be able to seek through his true intentions.

"And I've told her about how she deserves to escape this horrible place."

"Are you fucking insane?" You blurted out, you didn't mean too, it was just the first thing that came to mind.

Was he fucking insane? what the hell was he doing tell an 8 year old to escape the place she's lived in and only knows as good? what else has he told her?

He completely disregarded the question, which was appreciated on your end.

"I've got a plan set out for her and I, and I know you hate it here, Y/n."

"You don't know shit." So maybe he could see through you too, but this couldve still be a trap regardless, a trap to get you into trouble or become his little minion and do whatever he wants you too.

"Don't I? I've seen the way you've glared at Brenner and 002."

"You look at them the same way, It's not just them either, don't think I didn't know you couldn't keep your eyes off me either Ballard." You felt someone outraged that he would just randomly propose this to you, he didn't even know you. Maybe he didn't have too, though.

"The same goes for you, are you going to join us, or no." His voice sounded serious now, and after a few moments of just staring at him, you could sense this man was infact serious.

"..When is this happening exactly?"

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" You looked at him like he had actually lost his mind, and maybe he did, but whats so wrong with that?

It's not like you had your sanity in tact with you anymore either, so if he's crazy then you can be crazy together surely.

"Are you joining us, yes. or no?"

"..Yes."

Part of you was mentally cursing yourself out for agreeing, you still didn't trust him, fuck no. But at least you just got a free get out of jail ticket so.

--×♥︎×--

You felt anxious in the rainbow room, Peter was nowhere to be seen all day, and you felt hazy, your vision felt blurry and eyes sore, but from crying.

Your breathing was shaking and so where your hands, you hadn't gotten anxiety since your freshmen year of collage.

You remembered the uncontrollable fear that was tensing throughout your veins, you used to get that same feeling when Brenner would have his gaurds shock you until he felt as though you'd had enough.

When you were barely breathing and laying on the floor like an injured kitten inside of a box that no one cared for.

Eleven was at a coloring station, she checked the clock and then stood to her feet, making her way towards an orderly and leaving with him.

You soon exited the room aswell, going down into the basement where Peter had instructed you to meet him.

'I'm going to be free, I'm going to be free. I want to get revenge, I want my revenge. I want Brenner to feel the pain he caused me.' Your mind raced as you walked down those steps and soon saw Peter waiting for you.

'I want him dead.'

"Hey." You spoke, walking up to him

"Hello, Eleven will be here soon." You didn't respond after that, instead just leaned against the wall next to him, picking at your fingers.

Soon Elevens small body was heading down the stairs, you stood up straight as she looked for the both of you, bumping into Peter.

"Shh, follow me." And then the both of you were following after him as he took the both of you over to a small drain, atleast, that's what it had looked like anyways.

He was able to convince the small girl to escape through the pipes, explaining how they worked.

"They lead out into the woods, when you get out of here you need to run, do you understand me?" She seemed extremely scared and shook her head no.

"What about you.. and Miss L/n?" Her voice was shakey, like she didn't want to leave him, gosh what kind of things did they have going on? what was he telling her before?

"Well be following you shortly after you escape, I promise. we promise."

Eleven looked over at you to confirm his promise, and you simply nodded your head, and she was quick to squeeze herself into that tunnel.

The both of you rose to your normal height, and he smiled at you.

"How are we getting out of here now?" You asked him. there was boredom in your voice, but that was just natural now, when in reality your anxiety was bolting throughout you.

"I'll show you, it'll be fun." He smirked and grabbed your hand, running out of the basement with you, and once you two exited, the alarms were already blarring, they must've discovered that Eleven was gone by now.

Everything was happening so quickly your brain didn't have much time to process what was going on, but the next thing you knew, Peter was slaughtering everyone in sight.

There was blood splattered all over the walls and floors, this answered your question.

"Are you fucking insane?"

Yes. this is his way of saying yes, Part of you felt absolutely terrified of him and wanted to run away, but there was another, stronger half of you that felt raged and viewed this as the both of you getting your revenge.

You didn't freak out, or runaway, or feel scared of him, because he let you do the honors of killing 002, and you made sure it was agonizingly slow and painful.

And then off you two went, escaping, running as fast as possible, feeling relief, and free. Feeling a smile that was stretched on your lips as you ran, feeling the wind all around your bodies and fresh air in your nostrils.

You were finally free at last.

[the-words-we-sung]

The songs of Young Royals - S1E4

Here we go again ♪ Episode 4 my beloved, it is your turn!! Part one and two of this little project can be found here and there ♥

Holes, Zhala and Deep Throat Choir

I free my eyes at the start of time Maybe this is an obsession of a witchy kind And I lose myself inside Erik died, Wilhelm lost the only person he was truly close to, the only person who was there for him. He is losing himself: what do you do when you lose the person that matters the most to you? It's when you realize how incredibly lucky it was that he started at Hillerska when he did, so he could meet Simon. Because otherwise, what would have happened to him? Would he have lost himself forever? It's interesting that the "maybe this is an obsession" lyrics happens at the exact moment when we see Simon sending messages to Wilhelm while he watches the funeral on TV. "obsession" is a strong word but he is already very smitten and sending many messages to Wilhelm to check on him, to tell him he's there. Wilhelm does not answer though, because he is losing himself...

Remember

So you say, all you wanna be is remembered Let me make you go down in history, baby Let me write you into history, darling Let me sing you into eternity This song is beautiful. Indeed it's a good choice of song to commemorate Erik, Simon sounds great and the lyrics work very well in this context.

But there's a double meaning here: yes it is meant as a commemoration of Erik, saying he will not be forgotten, but it's also a message from Simon to Wilhelm. He is the Crown Prince now, and he is in love with another boy: it will make him go down in history. As Kristina said, he's the first one in the history of the royal family to not be straight (or at least the first one being opened about it), which will be a huge thing and an event that is gonna shake the country. But I can't help feeling moved by this song, by the image that Simon will be there with Wilhelm, next to him to endure it all. And let's not forget that Simon is gonna write a song about him during season 2, a song that he wants to sing in front of the entire world. So yeah, "let me sing you into eternity", Simon, you smitten boy...

Revolution, Elias

Let's start a revolution How beautiful it is Running with a crown on your head A resolution written on your hands And the lies they will hurt you No more This song... Do I even need to talk about it? Probably the best song they could choose for this show!! And I'm sure everything has been said about it already but let's give it a go anyway ^^ The whole scene is kinda perfect: the choice of song, the cinematography, what Wilhelm says... And yeah, it's Wilhelm grieving, and realizing that a lot of people around him are not "real", not his friends, not really there for him, for the true Wilhelm and not just the Prince. They don't know him. I think he probably doesn't know himself very well yet either. But it also makes him realize that he does like Simon. That's the only true thing, the only real thing he has left now that Erik is dead. And it's a revolution. Because he finally lets his guard down (granted he's drunk and high, but still!) and admits his feelings out loud, something he hasn't really be able to do 'til now. And he's going against everything he was taught, everything he believed. And that's a revolution. I don't know if he's "running" with the crown on his head, but he's certainly walking and stumbling onto that football field. And I'm not sure the resolution to declare his love to Simon was there already, but he still chose this place, where they had their first "date" to come to. So I do think that, even subconsciously , he was choosing Simon, choosing to come to him. And gosh, i don't know what awaits us in season 3 but yeah, in one way or another, Wilhelm and Simon together are a revolution.

Live and die, Gina Dirawi

Leave my body in a mess All my seeds are ruined This is my homage Back to God Thought if we Were free For a night We'd make it right But they're not free, not even for a night. They should have been. This night should have been theirs, and only theirs. It was their first night together, it was private and beautiful. It was love and lust after so much longing. And they don't know yet, how August is betraying them, betraying this moment. They are not doing anything wrong. They're actually "making it right" because they're finally acknowledging their mutual feelings, being true to each other. It's not in the scene but later on in the song there are the lyrics "life in peace, no need for the lies" and it just works so well for them. Because they might have been honest about their feelings in this scene, but they are still in the midst of so many lies. And it's gonna take so much time for them to finally free themselves from this spiderweb of lies and complications. This scene makes me so happy and so sad at the same time. It should have been just happiness, and love. It should have been freedom...

The songs of Young Royals - part 1 The songs of Young Royals - part 2

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

I think a lot of people overlook that Izzy's actually a fairly meh okay person when he doesn't feel threatened. He's calm and open about his feelings with Jackie to a sort of embarrassing point lol. He's surprisingly chill during the initial Stede interaction and MOST importantly in my opinion, he's openly soft with Edward. I see a lot of fanfic that characterizes Iz has having this hyper masculine image of Blackbeard in his head and when Ed fails to meet that standard he's violent and cruel. And that's true in the last episode when Izzy is at the end of his fucking rope and is making the worse possible choices out of desperation but before that,,, its really not that bad??

There's clearly a disconnect between the two of them that's bothering Ed("you have no imagination" ect) but Izzy still shows a lot of softness towards Ed. Its mostly in his body language and exasperated housewife voice but Izzy is showing that he's okay with Ed being soft and being soft to Ed back but only in private. And this isn't to say Iz doesn't absolutely have his own toxic masculinity issues but I think these issues come more from fear then Izzy genuinely thinking being nice and having friends is bad. Something also important to remember is that Izzy knows what is probably Ed's most emasculating secret: the fact that he doesn't fucking kill people. Its not overly clear if Izzy knows the why of it but either way he respects it and actively protects Ed and takes on the burden for him because he knows that it on some level will hurt him to try to push him into it. When Iz betrays Ed he keeps saying "its humane" "its fast and clean and over" like he's trying to ease Ed's conscience and make it emotionally easier.

Izzy also isn't initially bothered by Ed playing dress up until he realizes Stede is also there. So Izzy is mostly okay with Ed wearing stupid fancy boy clothes and being a dramatic weirdo across the boat because Edward is erratic and probably has already done this before. And even though its a delete scene and I will forever hate David for this, Iz did help Ed get dressed up for the party.

I think Iz' behavior is just normal ass romcom other woman jealousy and having deeply internalized trauma and fear towards being seen as less masculine by society. Maybe I'm just having too much empathy for everything all the time again but Izzy's problem is so clearly that he knows if he's vulnerable and soft then he'll get fucking destroyed by the cishet toxic world we all live in. He's posturing all of the fucking time as a form of self defense and he tries to force Ed to use Blackbeard in the same way because he wants Ed to be safe and hidden from the people who absolutely are out there and want to hurt them. Trauma tends to fuck with you're perception of reality so we as a audience watch and go "But Fang and Ivan are cool!! They wouldn't bully Izzy for being soft" (despite the fact that the do in fact bully him in canon) but for Izzy, he's just in panic survival mode all of the time and can't easily relax and just casually trust a bunch of strangers in the way Stede (and by extension Ed) can

My point is Izzy deserves love and the space for growth just like Ed did and if you think otherwise then ur ugly and I don't like u.

also if Izzy doesn't get a redemption arc I will fully end up hating this show and i really deeply mean that im not fucking being hyperbolic lol

[prettyseaveins]

Lover Boy, Lover Girl - R.R.

Ryan Ross x female!reader one shot

SFW / No warnings 

word count: 748

Summary: a small snippet into a random morning with Ryan Ross

“Ryan, did you hear what the fuck is going on with the government?” you asked, your body leaning against an arm of their shared couch as you held a cup of coffee. A look of disbelief was on your face as your boyfriend sat down beside you, letting his eyes fall on the screen you stared at. “This literally means that the government is gonna start controlling our brains or some shit because they want to block the media we consume—which is complete and utter bullshit! What the fuck? Does this mean I am no longer going to be able to sing about socialism and shit?”

“I think you’ll be able to sing about your idealistic world of anti-capitalism and love for me no matter what the government says,” he smiled comfortingly at you and let a hand rub your thigh soothingly. “This probably won’t even pass. Do you even hear how dumb they sound? She asked him if some dumb meme caused kids to become communists. I think we’ll be fine.”

“I guess you’re right, but also, who said I sang about loving you? For all you know, I could be singing about my love for Pedro Pascal or another celebrity crush that is ranking high on the list. Who knows, it could even be one of your friends from a different band. What was that bassist that took over Jon’s spot? Austin, was it? Or maybe his name was Antonio?” You put a finger up to your chin, tapping it as you faked your pondering. “Oh, I remember! Dallon is his name! Isn’t he a part of some big and famous band now? Supposedly even better than that band you used to be in?” Before you could utter another word, Ryan grabbed the coffee out of your hands and pushed his free hand into your side, starting to tickle you.

“You better plead for mercy,” he said, continuing to tickle you as you giggled and thrashed around. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! You were right! All my songs are about you and not some stupidly gorgeous hunk!” Another fit of giggles and laughter left your lips as he continued to harass your side with wiggling fingers. “I said you were right! Please, have mercy on my soul!” After a couple more seconds of tickling, Ryan stopped and let you be free of the punishment.

“Thank you for admitting I was right,” he took a quick sip out of your mug, grimacing at the taste. “You put way too much creamer in here.”

“Yeah, well it wasn’t for you, it was for me,” you sat up and grabbed the mug from him before taking a sip of your own coffee. “I could make you a cup if you want. One that has less sugar for your poor old soul.”

“You can’t be mean to me anymore. I have fingers of steel that could tickle you for eons to come,” he wiggled his fingers to try and prove just how serious he was, but it only resulted in a cringe from you.

“Okay, lover boy. I’m gonna make you a cup of coffee so I can hopefully get that image out of my head,” you stood up and started walking to the kitchen, setting down your own mug to start making Ryan’s. “And can you please change the channel? I would love to stop thinking about how the world is coming to an end for one second.”

“As you wish,” he picked up the remote and flicked it to a different channel, letting a random episode of Friends play as you made him coffee. “Make sure to use the mushroom house mug.”

“You mean the only mug you ever use? Technically, it isn’t even your mug, I’m the one that bought it,” you countered, finishing making his coffee before walking back to the living room and passing the mug to him. “I made sure to keep it extra disgusting.”

“Just because I like my coffee actually tasting like coffee doesn’t mean it’s disgusting. Also, I will forever be denying the fact that this was ever your mug. They are forever mine,” you rolled your eyes at his statement and grabbed your own mug, it coincidentally originally owned by your boyfriend, before taking your own sip.

“Whatever you say, nerd,” you giggled and let yourself sink next to Ryan, resting your head on his shoulder.

“I love you too, lover girl,” he said softly, peacefully watching the television with you.

~

A/N: I just wanted to create more ryan ross content so i wrote this lol. i’m gonna write more so drop suggestions if u want to ! thank you :)

[palepinkgoat]

(warning, kind of gross and about mental health. Such is my life.)

I've had intrusive thoughts my whole life. Like, for as long as I can remember. A young child. Not just random thoughts that pop into my head, or even ones that are negative self-talk for example.

No, I'm talking about the ones where I can't stop thinking about seeing my fingers broken, or seeing them with the tendons hanging out or skin stripped off, or just anything gross you can think of, really. I'll be lying in bed and the thoughts will come, and I'll squeeze my eyes shut tight, trying to will the images away. But they persist. I imagine the worst things, the worst damage. I pull my hands out from under the blanket and stare at them. They're safe. I'm safe.

But then there it is again, not even a half hour later. And that's when I crawl out of bed and take an Ativan, and try to relax. But it's all so exhausting to think about. It runs me ragged. The worst times are when it seems just normal. I'll be doing something and an image will pop into my head, and I shake my head and keep doing the dishes.

Hey look, your skin is falling off.

No its not.

What if it DID though? What if it breaks and bones stick out? Like tiny little bones that -

Stop it. Leave me alone.

These are different than hallucinations. I have had those too. This is about my thoughts. I don't SEE my hands like this. I see them as normal fingers. But the THOUGHT of them being injured is so real. So real I can ALMOST see it.

This is about persistent wild jabs into the soft creature of my brain. One day the thoughts will leave me, and won't come back in this form probably. It will choose something else. So I just get to wait and see, I guess.

Being a mentally ill person is hard. Sometimes it's so boring, and sometimes when I feel things in episodes it's just so normal to me that it's hard to imagine other people don't live like this. Then sometimes it's me trying to heal myself from the inside out, staring at my hands, chanting "you're safe, you're safe, you're safe."

I told my doctor about them. Pychiatrists are cool because when you say something that other people would be like "Gross, that's crazy" they are just kind of like "oh, okay." At least that's how mine is. To be understood that way is deeply comforting.

I think this whole thing was triggered by a relative's upcoming hand surgery. It's like my brain heard that, woke up and pounced on it, a bright shiny thing it turned over and over, fascinated, unable to look away. Take that and run it through the wires and this all comes out instead. Lost in translation.

This won't last. I know that. My brain will set the shiny thing down and walk away toward the next shiny thing. But being mentally ill? The bipolar? That's forever. There is no cure. Meds aren't a cure, they are a tool. Underneath all of it is my sick and vulnerable and brilliant brain, looking for something to destroy for a little while. It never gets tired of that mission.

But I'm tired.

[xo-lesserafim]

FALLING FOR YOUR SMILE AND EYES.

EPISODE 9. SNAFU

a/n: Episode 9 yay! I feel kinda bas because I like fast past stories but this is kinda slow. But i promise once we reach a certain point it begin to accelerate. Anyways Enjoy<3

Bold: Korean

Italics: Over the phone.

Both: Korean and over the phone

Divider by @benkeibear

Back to masterlist

“Hey, Andrea!” Yuri said.

“Yea?”

“I was wondering if I could have a sleepover at your house.”

“Yea! But um, why?”

“Okay, I told my mom I was gay, so I moved in with Kitty, but I decided I wanted to have a sleepover with you!”

“Oh, my.”

“But at least I said it. I mean, I feel scared, excited.”

“I’m sure Jenny eonnie is okay with it.”

“All right, see you after school?” Yuri asked.

“For sure.” I said as we headed our ways.

After school I met up with Yuri.

“My chauffeur will pick us up in a bit.” I said as the car came.

We got into the car and put our seatbelts on.

As we made it to the house, I gave Yuri a tour.

“Wow, your house is huge!” Yuri said.

“It’s not my house, I’m just lucky enough to stay here.” I said.

I showed her the last room, the room where I design and make clothes.

“Wow, do you make clothes here?”

“Yea. Oh! Let me show you what I’m working on.” I said running to a mannequin.

“the mannequin have the following pictures on.”

“Did you make all of that?” She asked.

“No, just gloves and dress. I bought the pearl items.”

“I’m just amazed on how it looks!”

“Do you want some food?” I said.

“Sure.”

(You can imagine the things you guys do for the night)

“If you’ve done well all semester, you should have no issues with the final,” Professor Lee said.

“It is fair. Hard, but fair.”

“Yes,”

“What if you have not done well all semester?” Kitty asked.

Thank God she asked that. I had a B+ in Korean Lit but I need that A-.

But all my other grades are fine.

“Probable doom.” Professor Lee said.

“But, I’m not unreasonable, Any student of mine who choose to participate in the end-of-term talent show,will get a ten-point-boost to your lowest grade.”

Eunice and another girl said some stuff.

“No, you must perform a traditional Korean art form with dignity.”

“Andrea,” Yuri said.

“My mom made me take fan dance lessons forever. I can teach you.”

“Really? Thank you so much!” I said.

She on to tell Kitty the same thing.

After school, Yuri gave Kitty and I fan dance lessons.

“So, the idea of this is the fans, the Hanbok we wear, the choreography, the music all come together to create the image of butterflies and flowers in spring.” Yuri said.

“Okay.” I said.

“It’s gorgeous,” Kitty said.

As she was teaching us, I got it first try.

“Here, it’s like this Kitty.” Yuri said.

“Open, close.”

Kitty looked weird, but I decided to ignore it.

After practice, Kitty ran after me.

“Andrea!”

“What?”

“Why have you been ignoring me?”

“You sound like Min ho on the camping trip.”

“So? We want to know why you’ve been ignoring us?”

“I can say, but I don’t want to.”

“Andrea, you’re gonna have to. I mean you’re gonna have to live with me for winter break.”

“And if I’m not?”

“You’re not coming home from winter break?”

“Yea, I told dad already.”

“Seriously! Min ho and I have been trying to talk to you, but you’ve been ignoring us…”

“I have to go, my chauffeur is here.”

As it was time for talent show, there were a few acts before us, so we watched from backstage.

After the acts, it was our turn.

We all got on stage, and waited for the music.

During the dance, Kitty fell on this box thing, and sparks came flying out.

“Kitty,” I said running up to here.

There was a small fire on her Hanbok and I tried to make it go away.

Then, Min ho came running up with his jacket.

“Kitty! Are you okay?” He said.

“Um, excuse me.” I said running off.

I changed quickly, gave Yuri the hanbok, and ran off to a random coffee shop.

I order an iced latte and some food they had.

I feel bad for just running off like that, but I think Min ho could solve the problem.

After I got my food, I called my chauffeur and went home.

Gosh, tonight sucked.

PREV EPISODE MASTERLIST NEXT EPISODE

TAGLIST: @chaewon-slays @cherrriesss @lysira340

Copyrights © 2023 xo-lesserafim. All rights reserved. I do not own XO, Kitty , Netflix does. do not copy, translate, or repost anything without my permission.

[undertheknightwing]

WIP GAME

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigued them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Tagged by @not-so-mundane-after-all and if you don’t mind I'm gonna steal your idea since I don't have any active wips either, just ideas:

• First, obviously I'm always working on chapters. We're gonna ignore the fact that it took me two years to get to the chapter where the boys finally go on a date 🙃 but I'll give myself a pass since this is chapter 22 and I can't believe I got that far.

• Titanstober Week 4 idea that focuses on some of the horrible things done to Gar by the Chief, all seen by Rachel who somehow found herself able to wander in Gar's memories even though she hasn't been able to before and towards the end gets her answer when meeting someone very magical and powerful.

• Now to jump to another ship, I'm a sucker for re-writing episodes/scenes and I've been itching to re-write the kryptonite poisoning scenes in the s&l episode "Loyal Subjekts" to give my Jonny-Boy some hurt + comfort because it's just.. ughh.. that he didn't get sick too. He's got Kryptonian dna which means he should be affected by kryptonite. Simple as that. He's getting poisoned by kryptonite and Clark is gonna be a good dad who actually takes care of Jon for once dammit!

• Okay back to Titans, I thought about writing some kind of Christmas party fic that takes place like four years after season 4. It'd be wholesome but also bittersweet because everyone's grown up with their own lives. DickKory are living a life as normal as they can with Mar'i, Rachel is about to graduate college, and Gar's living in Metropolis with a roommate (who's also technically his co-worker) but is still the Red's champion so he's barely had time to see the Titans throughout the years. It'd be a shock to everyone that Gar actually has the time to attend the party. (that, or release the director's cut of "a very merry crossover christmas")

Now for ideas that probably won't be written but they've been stuck in my head for a while

• Since Gar is connected to life and death through the Red, I assume he can contact the afterlife and thought how emotionally damaging it'd be for Gar to visit his parents. Like I have this image of his parents afterlife being living peacefully in a cute little house where they can just enjoy each other's company, away from all the science stuff that took up their attention forever, and someday Gar shows up to finally talk to them again after so long. Heartbreaking family reunion stuff, ya know?

• In the same train as family stuff because I love it, it makes me very happy, I'm so soft for the idea of dad!Gar. It's been in my brain for years. He'd be so silly but so sweet,, I'm just in love with it 🥺💖 Anyway the idea would be Dick meeting Gar's son and being a mix of anxiety, pride, and "Oh my god I'm a grandpa and I'm not even 40". Mar'i would be super excited to have a nephew too.

• Krypto in s&l, that's all. He's Jon's dog because Jon deserves a dog.

• Jon in Wonderland au. I was obsessed with this idea, like it's all I could think about for a bit. (I have a couple drawings from the idea that I'd glady show you bestie if you ever wanna see 💙)

[st4rg1rl-yana]

Jinx x fem reader ask! Reader is a mage still trying to figure their powers out. One day when jinx has one of her episodes and the voices are really tearing her down while she's also suffering from a panic attack, reader rushes to her and desperate for it to stop, unwittingly uses her magic to calm jinx' mind so the voices stop and she feels calm again. All while reader is going "it's okay. You're safe. I'm here." And other soothing words. And then both realize just what happened.

I would’ve never thought of this i’m loving everyone’s idea’s though! Y’all are so creative! Hope you enjoy my spin of it <3

It was nearing the end of Progress Day, the people of Piltover had roamed the streets. Celebrating the birth of Hextech and all its done for the pearly white city. You sat at the edge of Jinx’s lair, looking over at the foggy seemingly bottomless pit under it. Your veins were a mix of blue and purple as arcane magic infused with shimmer ran miles in your bloodstream.

Your hands and fingers were cold to the touch heavily contrasting with calming orange sparks that came from them. You made little doodles in the electric sparks seeping from your fingertips . Reminiscing how your powers even came to be as a little blue monkey chased around an purple bunny.

You were there during the explosion 7 years ago, you were young but that didn’t matter. Not when Silco needed beneficial test results, you just happen to be one of the lucky bunch that survived to tell the tale. The world had seemed to be against you that night as shimmer stained your veins to your skin, the explosion from Powder’s monkey bomb not long after. You were right in the crossfire, your body being forever changed as the crystal shards pierced you combining with the shimmer in your system.

You’d lived on the streets for years after that, your power only showing it’s face when your heightened emotions came into play. So when Silco got word of a girl who had electrocuted two of his goons at the bar he knew she’d be a reliable asset. Even more so when you met Jinx and almost instantly hit it off. The bond and love between you two was puzzling to most but they knew it wasn’t to be tested.

You’d burn Zaun and Piltover down to it’s core for Jinx if it ever came to it, knowing she’d do the same for you. The little doodles sizzled out as loud angered footsteps made it’s way to your ear. Jinx didn’t even notice you too in her head after the failed mission with Sevika up in Piltover.

“I’m not weak, I’m not-shut up!” She screamed pistol in hand as she shoot the makeshift mylo on the old couch. “Ugh!” She groaned dropping the pistol caving into herself on the ground, her hands shaking as she held them to ears. Her head was spinning with different scratchy voices and crossed out images of her late family screaming at her in full force behind her teary eyes.

“Blue? Baby, what’s wrong?” You asked making your way towards the poor girl. She was whispering words to herself and her nails dug deep into the sides of her head.

‘You’re weak’ Mylo said Claggor not far behind him saying. ‘You’ve always been a Jinx’ She screamed for them to stop eyes shut and tears leaving streaks down reddened cheeks.

“Jinx” You uttered crouching in front of her placing your hands over hers, she couldn’t hear you. Everything was so loud and dark until it stopped the aspirations of her family faded and a warm orange glow took their place in her mind.

“Hey, hey It’s okay, you’re safe Jinx. I’m here” You whispered to her your forehead leaning against hers. After a moment her eyes opened meeting yours. “Did did you do that?” She questioned leaned into your touch. “I-i think so? How do you feel?” You caressed her cheek softly your eyes searching hers.

“Better” She hummed lowly before getting up leading you to the couch.“Dumbass” She muttered kicking off the Mylo doll and bringing you down with her to cuddle. “Never knew you could do that, Sugar” She grinned nudging your shoulder. “I- me either. I don’t even know what that was” You said starring at your hands in disbelief. Jinx hummed before pulling you into her arms. “Problem for another day” She mumbled a comfortable silence washing over you two before falling asleep together.

It’d been hours after you’d fell asleep that Jinx had woken up, pulling an old blanket over you. She grabbed her forgotten pistol and an array of chompers. She sighed before leaving out turning back to you, leaning down to leaving a lingering kiss to your forehead.

“We’ll show them Toots, we’ll show them all I promise”

[nestaenthusiast]

My Btvs opinions part 1

Okay so I finally finished Buffy the Vampire Slayer and just wanted to share my opinions on all of the main characters throughout the season. Forewarning though, some of this might be controversial!!

Buffy

Ah Buffy. The most main character to have ever lived. She truly slays. Like I just love everything about her. She’s fucking iconic. Shes confident. She is a total badass. She has her insecurities. She can’t drive. She is totally bisexual. She has amazing one liners and amazing outfits to go with them. The list goes on and on forever. Buffy has taught me a lot about believing in myself. Believing in my power. I’ve made a post on this before but a common theme in this show is Buffy feeling like she can’t do something and then stops herself and goes “wait a minute? I’m Buffy. Of course I can do this” and then she does it. It was truly inspiring to watch. Since watching the show I’ve had moments where I’ve doubted myself and then I literally thought of Buffy and got a boost of confidence. Buffy is so inspiring. She is one of those characters that I think will live in me for a long time. She is very close to my heart and honestly gives me strength. Ironically she wasn’t the reason I started watching this show but she’s the reason I stayed.

Faith

I am not joking when I say Faith was the reason I started watching this show in the first place. I saw an edit of her on TikTok and she was so fucking hot I instantly fell in love with her. So I decided I HAD to watch the show. So maybe my expectations were too big because I hate Faith now. Don’t get me wrong Faith is a greatly written character!! She was only in 26 episodes and is one of the most impactful characters on the show. But I still hate her. If it was any other show where Buffy wasn’t the main character, I might love her and be in the pro Faith hashtag. But because of the way Faith treated Buffy, I just can’t with her. Especially after s7. Like she just fucking irritates me. She is always wallowing in her self pity and jealousy of Buffy. She pushed all of her insecurities onto Buffy and made her seem like some prudish stuck up bitch when that was just far from the truth. She didn’t even have a clear image in her head of who Buffy actually was cause of how much she projected onto her. And she was sort of a pick me girl. And no arguments or deep analysis from her supporters will change my opinions on her because my feelings are based on my utter love and devotion to Buffy. When Faith and Buffy were friends I loved her!! I loved their friendship and I would have probably shipped them romantically. But when Faith started treating Buffy badly is when my feelings for her changed.

Willow

Willow is probably my all time favorite Tv witch. So much so that she made me want to start practicing witchcraft again. She has so many amazing quotes like “Occasionally I’m callous and strange” and is such a sweetie pie. And I have a ginormous crush on her. But Willow season 6-7 I do not like. She became very egotistical and I also blame her the most for bringing Buffy back. It is honestly very hard to separate my feelings for Willow from s1-5 and s6-7 cause that’s how much she annoyed me. But before I watched s6-7 I truly loved Willow. And Alyson Hannigan is a truly terrific actress. Dare I say one of the best in the entire show.

Xander

Okay here is where things might get controversial. I actually like Xander. There are definitely episodes where I hate him but for the most part I really like his character. He has a lot of flaws like being a “nice guy” and his occasional sexism. But most of that I feel it is just a sign of the times. That was how they wrote guys in the 90s and early 2000s. The reason I like him despite these things is that I like his heart. Like what he brings to the group is stability in the form of food or repairing Buffy’s house or driving them around or babysitting Dawn. I just love how they didn’t give him superpowers or a lot of intelligence but was still needed in the group. Or maybe not even needed just wanted. He gave what he could cause he loves Buffy and Willow. And he is so fucking hilarious. Like maybe we just have the same sense of humor but I legit find him funny. And he is one of the few characters who I liked more in later seasons that in years beginning.

Giles

I love love love loved Giles. He was such a dad to Buffy and supported her through so much. In s3 he was one of the few to understand the pain she felt with Angel dying and running away. I love how he made mistakes with Buffy but always tried to do his best. He was always there for Buffy whenever she needed him and was there for Willow at her worst and helped her rehabilitation. And most importantly—I love his sweater vests. As with almost every character in this show, I started to not like him in s6. I know they had to write him off cause he needed to be with his family in real life but it still makes me angry that he left Buffy at her absolute worst. It was just so out of character for him and it made no sense. That’s really the only thing I don’t like about his character. Also teen Giles and demon Giles will never fail to make me laugh hysterically.

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 15: Super Volcano

~The Man Cave~

Ray and (y/n) were sat solemnly at the supercomputer, as Charlotte watched Schwoz make some calculations. The small man was about to explain some horrible news to them all in more detail, but first, they needed Henry to come down in the elevator. The boy screamed on the way down, before stumbling out and into the bright room where his sombre colleagues were waiting.

"Hey, guys, what's the poops?" He said to them in a lighthearted manner, but the look on his bosses' faces made his smile drop. 

"We're all gonna die," Ray said to the boy dramatically. He was holding his best friend to his chest, thinking that he only had a few more days to live with her.

"Whaaaat?" Henry asked, the question completely throwing him off.

"You're not gonna die." (y/n) hit his chest lightly, a sad smile on her face, but Ray just clung to her harder, not wanting to waste a single minute.

"You're indestructible." Schwoz reminded him in a serious tone.

"We're all gonna die," Charlotte added in.

"Well, it's still bad for me. Who am I gonna talk to when you're all dead?" The large man cried, the woman in his lap trying to give him some comfort. Who was he gonna have to love when she was gone?

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is going on here?" Henry said in bewilderment. He had never seen his boss look so upset, or Schowz without a smile.

"That." The genius said, putting a video of some magma under the Earth's surface on the monitor.

"What is that?" The boy asked, just seeing a load of icky mess on the screen.

"That is a supervolcano, fifty miles below the surface of the earth, right under the town," Ray told him gravely, standing up but still not letting (y/n) go.

"Oh. Hey, you guys think I should get my teeth whitened?" Henry moved offtopic, not understanding the seriousness of the situation.

"Henry!"

"Your teeth?"

"Is this kid serious?"

"Are you crazy?" All his friends protested.

"Two days from now that volcano is going to pop like a big, red-hot throbbing pimple." Schwoz described it to him, making Charlotte grimace at the image.

"Billions of tons of hot lava will spew from the ground and melt everything," Ray said, walking over to the boy with the young woman's hand firmly in his.

"You mean melt all of Swellview?" Henry looked at him with a pale face.

"All of the whole world." The smaller man clarified for him, sending Henry into a panic.

"But I just ordered a new bike online." The teen squeaked.

"Well, when does it get here?" Schwoz asked.

"Next week," Henry replied, swallowing a lump in his throat.

"Oh yeah, no, your bike is screwed." (y/n) said to him sadly as the others shook their heads and she hugged Ray's arm. Two days wasn't enough time to tell him everything she had ever wanted to say to him. 

"Oh man, the whole world is going to end? You sure of this?" Henry was starting to feel very nauseous.

"Yes," Schwoz confirmed, going back to the computer.

"Schwoz has been watching the volcano, monitoring the vibrations, doing all the calculations," Ray said, his voice breaking when (y/n) wrapped her arms around his waist. Two days wasn't enough time to do everything he had ever wanted to do with her.

"How much time do we have left?" Charlotte asked the genius. Schwoz hit a button on the control panel, and a countdown appeared on the monitor, showing that there were less than 48 hours to go. 

"Just under two days." (y/n) swallowed and put her forehead on her friend's chest. He cradled her head, believing that in less than two days, he was going to lose her forever.

"Oh, oh, jeez. I got to go tell my mom and dad. And my cousins. and everyone!" Henry shouted, running to go warn his family about what was about to happen. Reluctantly, Ray let go of (y/n) so he could run stop him from reentering the elevators. Using his laser control, he used a traction beam on the boy's butt and pulled him back to the group.

"You could've just said, 'Henry, come back.'" The boy said to him, but the man just tucked his controller into his back pocket and pulled his best friend into his arms.

"We can't tell people about the volcano, Henry." (y/n) said in a quiet, sad voice. 

"Why?" The boy asked her in confusion.

"So they can spend their last two days living their normal lives," Charlotte explained. The last thing they needed was pandemonium on the streets.

"Right. Enjoying the simple, important things like petting their dogs, and watching television, and going on the internet and expressing strong opinions based on little or no knowledge or information." Ray listed off all the things he could think of.

"I do that," Schwoz admitted. 

"Telling girls that you love them?" Henry said back, making Ray go wide-eyed. But the comment went over (y/n)'s head.

"Ooh, Henry, do you like someone?" She smirked at the boy and Ray breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, if I have only have two days left on this earth, I know what I'm doing," Charlotte said, walking over to the auto-snacker.

"A gallon of ice cream and a spoon." She ordered from the machine.

"She's got the right idea, make that two spoons." (y/n) smiled and walked over to Charlotte.

"A gallon of ice cream and two spoons." The machine produced what they had asked for and the two girls began to dig into the frozen dessert.

"Oh come on guys, you can't spend your last two days on earth just stuffing your faces," Henry said to them, but they didn't care.

"Wanna bet?" (y/n) replied through a mouthful of ice cream.

"Uh, yes, we can." Charlotte agreed with her, so they both walked to the couch to eat their ice cream.

"Dude, you should totally tell (y/n) how you feel," Henry whispered to Ray once the females were out of earshot. Ray looked at him in alarm.

"No! I can't do that!" He snapped, even though he had considered doing just that. 

"Why not?" Schwoz butted in, wanting to see Ray man up in his last two days alive.

"Because, she'd reject me and I'd spend the rest of my life in pain and agony, knowing that I ruined my friendship with her." The superhero ranted, but his friends just groaned.

"You don't know that," Henry said, as they all looked at Charlotte and (y/n), who were chatting and eating away.

"You should tell, you-know-who, that you love him." Charlotte leant over and mumbled into (y/n)'s ear. Her cheeks flushed at the thought, but Charlotte just suggestively raised her eyebrows.

"No, no, no, no. Not happening." The older woman said firmly, the idea of confessing to the man made her feel incredibly flustered. 

"Come on! It's Ray!" Charlotte tried to hint that he'd say yes without revealing the entire truth since she'd made a promise not to tell the other person how they felt.

"Exactly! It's Ray. Gorgeous, funny, silly Ray! The man I watch day in, day out, dating girl after girl, actress after model. The man I can't have." She said, her face in her hands. Charlotte reached out to hold her hand across the table.

"We're all gonna die in two days anyway, you can tell him and not worry about the consequences.." The dark-haired girl reasoned, and (y/n) thought it over for a second. If it all went wrong, she wouldn't have to hide in another country for the rest of her life. If it went right, she would die happy knowing that he loved her as much as she loved him.

"I'll think about it." She twitched the corner of her mouth into a smile and stirred the melting ice cream. She took another mouthful, letting the icy cold sweetness run down her throat.

"Think about Ray in his Captain Man suit. We all see how you check him out." The girl teased in a sly voice, laughing when the woman shoved more ice cream into her mouth to stop herself from squeaking in embarrassment.

~Later that night, Henry's porch~

"Two days from now that volcano is going to pop." "Billions of tons of hot lava will spew from the ground and melt everything." Schwoz and Ray's voices rang in Henry's head, as he took a moment to appreciate the stars in the night sky. He had propped two bright, orang pillows onto the ground and was just sat there, thinking about how in a few days, everything would be gone.

Jasper came walking up to Henry's door and noticed his best friend sat just outside his house with a drunken expression on his face.

"Hey, Henry." The curly-haired boy greeted.

"You ever look at the stars?" Henry asked him, which weirded Jasper out a bit. What kind of question was that?

"Huh?" The kid looked up like his friend.

"Stars are amazing. Thousands of twinkling little lights shining in the night sky," Henry said wistfully, staring up at the cosmos.

"All right." Jasper didn't know what else to say to the boy's poetic words.

"I love you, man," Henry told him, a smile on his face. He had two days to tell his friends how much he appreciated them, and he was going to let them know even if it killed him.

"Okay, dude." The other boy accepted his comment with a shrug of his shoulders. Boy, Henry was being weird tonight.

"Hey, wanna see a pic of my new bucket?" Jasper moved on, taking out his PearPhone. He sat down next to Henry, who really didn't care about his bucket.

"No, not really." He said through gritted teeth, making Jasper's face fall.

"What do you mean?" He asked Henry, wondering what was wrong with his lovely bucket.

"Nobody cares about your dumb buckets." Henry snapped at him, finally telling him what he had wanted to say for years. His best friend gasped at his rude words.

"What's up with you?" Jasper looked at him in concern. He knew Henry better than anyone, and he had never seen him like this before.

"What?" Henry played coyly since he couldn't tell the other teen about the supervolcano.

"First, you tell me that you love me, then, you scream at me. You're acting like my mom." Jasper told him.

"I don't know, man. It's just, life is short and--" Henry's emotional speech was interrupted when Charlotte approached them. After a long day of being (y/n)'s wingwoman in her struggle to confess to Ray before the world ended, she had been to a greasy takeout shop to buy some burgers.

"Here comes Charlotte." Henry pointed out to his best friend, and they watched as Charlotte slowly walked towards them. She sat down on the bench with a plastic bag full of unhealthy food. 

"What's up?" She asked in a tired and depressed voice. 

"You went to Inside-Out Burger?" Henry asked, noticing the logo on the bag.

"Yup." She answered simply, opening the box on the first burger. 

"Since when do you eat chilli cheeseburgers? I thought you were getting in great shape for that 10k run." Jasper pointed out, remembering how strict the girl had been with her diet and exercise regime.

"I was. Now I'm eating this." Charlotte said before taking a huge bite from the delicious sandwich. She wouldn't be alive to do the run, so she might as well eat as much junk food as possible before she got burnt to a crisp.

"Has (y/n) told Ray yet?" Henry asked her and the girl let out a long groan. 

"No, every time he flops his hair or flexes a muscle, she goes all weak-kneed and chickens out," Charlotte told him about the frustration she had gone through with the adults.

"Man, I wish he'd just tell her," Henry grumbled.

"It will take a miracle." The girl said, taking another big bite.

"Can I?" Henry asked, wanting something deep-friend and delicious too.

"Yeah, get in there." Charlotte kicked over the bag, so the boys each took out a burger. They both took a bite and chewed in silence for a moment before Jasper noticed something peculiar.

"These have pickles on them." He pointed out.

"So?" Henry didn't know what he was getting at.

"I thought you both hated pickles." He replied.

"Well, one day Jasper, we may not even be here to love or hate pickles. So while I am here, I'm gonna give pickles a chance." Charlotte snapped at him and bit into her burger.

"Me too," Henry said, also eating his burger. However, the taste of the cucumber made them both gag.

"Okay, pickles are gross," Charlotte said, spitting the little green things back out.

"I can't eat this pickle." Henry agreed, shutting his burger box as Jasper smirked. He knew them better than they did at times. 

~Meanwhile, in the Man Cave~

Ray was dressed in some sweatpants and a white t-shirt with a red, sleeveless jacket. He had been waiting for (y/n) to get ready for ages since she had agreed to help him fulfil one of his not-dying wishes. Hers had been to watch the sunset on a beach in Hawaii, but with the amount of time they had left, it wasn't possible. So, she had decided that if she couldn't achieve her final dream, she would help someone else and that someone was Ray. 

"Let's get to it, (y/n), we don't have much time." He said, taking a swig of water from his bottle. (y/n) came out from the back of the Man Cave wearing a long-sleeved, black, scoop neck shirt, a flowy red miniskirt, some pale pantyhose and red sneakers. She walked over to him swiftly, adjusting the top so her boobs didn't fly out.

"All right, bossy, I'm here, I'm here. Why's this so important again?" She smiled at him, as he choked on his water at the sight of her décolletage. Her neck looked so soft and delicate and he wondered what it would be like to just bury his face into it.

"I told you. I promised my grandmother that one day I'd learn how to dance the Jitterbug. And in...42 hours, there won't be anybody left on Earth to practice with." He said, reminding himself that he was set to lose her. 

Seeing his broken expression, she put a hand on his cheek and stroked his cheekbone with her thumb. She gave him a sad smile, not being able to imagine being the last human on Earth with no friends or family to love. 

"We have 42 hours, let's make the most of it." She said to him, putting on a brave face. He glanced over her features, thinking that he could just say it. She was here, for now, breathing and standing in front of him so beautifully, it made his heart soar. His lips parted, his tongue dashing out to wet them, and his vocal cords went to make a sound, but before he could tell her, she pressed the button on the stereo and the lively band music began to play.

He let out a small sigh but didn't let her see his disappointment, so he held out his hand for her to take and they began to dance. 

"And, five, six, seven, eight." They moved their feet in time to the music, their chemistry making it so much more intimate and fun. He twirled her around and then they backed up and clapped their hands. Ray grinned at her as they shuffled around the Man Cave, (y/n) giggling as she kicked her legs out. With one final lift into the air, the dance came to an end and the woman fell into her partner's arm.

She looked up at him and dragged her eyes down from his crow's feet to the faint scar on his cheek to his pale, pink lips. It was like he had been sculptured by Greek Gods, and she was the mortal who was blessed to have him in front of her. She returned the hug he pulled her into, thinking that she could just say it. 

"Grandma Manchester will be happy that I can dance now." His voice was muffled in her hair, but she heard him all the same. 

"And she'll be happy that you're a natural." (y/n) teased him, running her hand through the back of his hair. 

"I had a great partner." He mumbled back and she felt content to just hold him for now. 'A silly confession would just ruin the mood.' She told herself, swallowing down the words that threatened to erupt from her throat. 

~The next day, Swellview High~

"Buy a fruit bar." Oliver Pook said to Mitch Bilsky and his horrible friends, offering the box to the boys. Mitch Bilsky was a bully, so when he saw the boy selling the bars, he couldn't help but choose him as his next victim.

"Uhhh, yeah. I'll take a fruit bar." He said to the boy, picking up one of them and throwing it across the hall. Oliver being Oliver, didn't get that he was being bullied and acted like he was another normal customer.

"That'll be two dollars." He deadpanned to the laughing boy.

"You know what, I think I'll take two more of your fruit bars." He threw two more bars, which landed close to the steps that Henry and Charlotte were walking down. 

"I take cash or checks," Oliver said, making Mitch and his friends laugh mockingly.

"I'm going over there," Henry said to Charlotte, wanting to be the person who would finally stand up to the bully.

"No. You don't wanna mess with Mitch Bilsky. He's big and crazy." Charlotte warned him, grabbing his arm to stop him from going up to the larger boy. Henry was puny in comparison and he would surely be squished like a bug.

"But he's picking on Oliver." He stated, seeing the way the boys jeered.

"So? Oliver doesn't even realise it." The girl pointed out, looking over at Mitch who was now stacking the fruit bars on Oliver's head.

"Look, we only have 28 hours left before that volcano destroys the whole world on Friday," Henry said to her.

"I know, but--" Charlotte tried to get him to back down, but Henry was too determined.

"I'm not holding anything back anymore. I told Jasper I don't like buckets, I ate five chilli cheeseburgers after dinner last night, and now, I'm going to stand up to the biggest jerk in school. I fear no man." Henry said, feeling pumped.

He turned around and walked over to the bullies.

"Hey, Mitch! I think you dropped this." Henry yelled at the large kid and threw the fruit bar back in his face. The surrounding kids gasped at his actions, knowing that Mitch was gonna beat his ass.

"Okay, Hart. Now...you and me are gonna fight." Mitch seethed at Henry, lifting the boy off his feet and into the air by his hoodie.

"You know, you really should get your teeth whitened." Henry insulted him, not showing any fear. 

"If you guys fight here, you're going to be surrounded by teachers in five seconds." Charlotte jumped in, seeing that Henry was way out of his depth. The crowd agreed with her.

"It's true." The boy said to Mitch.

"Monday, after school in the parking lot behind that Jewish church." The bully spat in his face, but Henry furrowed his brows at his words.

"They're called Synagogues. IDIOT!" He berated.

"Whatever, Monday after school behind the Cinderdog." Mitch's pronunciation made Henry giggle.

"Monday? Yeah, sure, dude. Let's fight on Monday. Sounds good." The boy said, knowing that Monday would be too late. Mitch dropped him to the floor, and walked out with his posse, as Oliver continued to shout about his fruit bars.

~Later that day~

Oliver Pook walked up behind Henry, who was busy looking in his locker.

"Hey, Henry." He said, spooking Henry and causing him to drop his books.

"What's up, man?" Henry smiled at him, wondering what the boy wanted.

"You wanted to come ice fishing with me a week from Saturday?" He asked the boy, who sighed at the idea of sitting in the cold with the weird teen.

"Oliver, every month you ask me if I want to go ice fishing with you. And what do I say every time?" He put to the boy.

"When I ask in person you say no. When I text you, you just pretend you never got the text." He deadpanned.

"Exactly. Now, guess what?"Henry said in an uplifting tone.

"What?"

"I'd love to go ice fishing with you a week from Saturday," Henry told Oliver, shocking the boy and Charlotte, who had been listening in from her locker.

"Seriously?" Oliver couldn't believe it.

"Yep." Henry smiled when he saw how happy he had made the other teen.

"Henry Hart, you make me happy." Oliver gave him an awkward hug, before running off.

"Ice fishing with Oliver?" Charlotte asked, walking up to her blond friend. She couldn't believe he'd agreed to put himself through that.

"A week from Saturday, the world won't even be here." He said with a sigh.

"Yeah, I know." The girl said dejectedly and took a bite of whatever she was eating.

"What are you eating?" Henry asked her.

"A stick of butter with sprinkles on it." She told him, and Henry pulled a disgusted/confused face.

"Why?"

"Why not?" Charlotte retorted, before glancing over his shoulder.

"Hey, hey, there's Bianca. Go tell her you like her." Charlotte said, spying the pretty girl near the doors.

"What's the point? None of us are gonna exist after tomorrow." Henry sulked.

"Yeah, but if you tell her, maybe you'll get to kiss her before, you know..." Charlotte imitated the sound of an explosion and her words were enough to convince Henry to walk over to the brunette.

"Hey, Bianca!" He called out to her.

"Oh, hi, Henry." She said to him sweetly.

"I like you. And I don't just mean 'I like you, I mean, I like you, like you.'" Henry came straight out with it. He could teach Ray a few things.

"Cool, anything else?" Bianca asked him, her cheeks turning rosy.

"Nah. Yes. I would like to kiss you if you're down for that." He said in a loud voice, drawing some looks.

"With everyone watching?" The girl looked around sheepishly.

"Yeah. Let's show them how it's done, son." He joked, so Bianca stepped forward and pecked him on the lips. Everyone watching started to clap, as Henry walked back over to Charlotte with a huge grin on his face.

"How do you feel?" The dark-haired girl smirked at him.

"Feel good," Henry said, swaggering to his next class.

~The Man Cave~

Down in the hideout, (y/n) and Charlotte were eating the white cream from the middle of Oreos and then discarding the chocolate cookie. Hey, they were set to die tomorrow, they were gonna spend their last few hours living dangerously. Between them, they had gotten through six packets of the sweet treats whilst they waited for Henry and Ray to return from their outing.

The tubes came down, and the tired superhero duo came plodding into the Man Cave. (y/n) gave them a tired smile, as they walked over to the couch.

"Where you guys been?" Charlotte asked in confusion. They were wearing their super suits, but there had been no emergency call.

"In the Man-Copter." Henry sighed.

"Flying over Swellview, looking around," Ray said, moving towards where (y/n) was sat, and leaned on the back of the couch behind her.

"One last time," Henry mumbled, as (y/n) turned around and draped her arms around Ray as he rested his head and hands on the sofa.

"Nice." The girl said, licking more filling from an Oreo.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Eh." The two grumbled simultaneously. Henry gave Charlotte a pointed look and gestured to the two sulking adults, so the girl kicked (y/n) under the table as Henry poked Ray's back. Each adult looked to a kid and saw them gesturing to the opposite person, hinting that they should admit their feelings.

Ray shook his head quickly, looking at the boy with an agitated face. (y/n), on the other hand, was thinking about it, hard. From where she was sat, she could see the countdown ticking away on the supercomputer and used the stress it gave her to boost her courage.

"R-Ray?" She stuttered, her cheeks feeling red hot and her heart racing like a horse.

"What?" The man didn't look up from his slouch position, and the fact that she couldn't see his face made it a little easier for her. 

"I need to tell you something." She screwed her eyes tight and dug her fingernails into her palms so hard she thought she'd draw blood. Henry and Charlotte looked at each other with wide, hopeful eyes, waiting with bated breath for her to say the three magic words. 

"Yeah?" The man still didn't look to see how wound up she was, so she gritted her teeth and forced herself to speak.

"I--" To their horror, she was cut off as the elevator came down and Schwoz walked into the Man Cave, wearing a gym outfit and holding a piece of paper.

"Hey, peoples, look it. I got membership to Muscle Works." The little man showed them the contract, as Henry and Charlotte held back screams. (y/n) however, was relieved at the intrusion, feeling like she had been saved by a higher power. 

"You joined a gym?" She said to him in an unusually happy voice, wafting her face with her hand to cool down her flushed complexion. 

"Yeah, I paid for five years upfront, which got me two percent off and this tank top," Schwoz explained the crappy deal he got, confusing the others.

"No, no, Schwoz, why did you pay for a membership when you know the world is going to end tomorrow?" Henry asked in a miffed voice, still feeling irritated that (y/n) had been stopped from confessing to Ray. Now, she'd never tell him, it took the threat of a volcano to force her hand, for Pete's sake!

"Yeah, why?" Ray, (y/n) and Charlotte asked together in bafflement.

"You guys didn't get my text?" Schwoz said slowly.

"What text?" Henry and Ray felt like he was about to say something stupid.

"Well, you know how I figured out that the supervolcano go kaboom tomorrow?" The genius said to them.

"Yeah, you stressed that point numerous times." (y/n) said, a tight smile on her face. She had a feeling that she knew what Schwoz was going to say next.

"It's not going to happen tomorrow." The man said, shocking them into silence.

"Then when?" Henry piped up.

"In about 17 million years. I swear I sent you a text." Schwoz said, walking off when he got bored of them looking like goldfish.

The four of them burst into cheers, Ray giving (y/n) a big bear hug. She let go reluctantly but was swept up into another hug with Charlotte, as Henry switched on some disco light and music.

"We gonna live. Ha!" They all chanted as they danced around. (y/n) leapt onto Ray's back and he span her around, Henry and Charlotte watching them with smiles on their faces. Henry whispered into Charlotte's ear, who smirked at the sound of his plan.

"Hey (y/n/n), do you want to grab some ice cream?" Charlotte smiled at the woman, who climbed off of Ray and walked over to the auto-snacker.

"Sure, what flavour?" (y/n) asked, but Charlotte needed her to be distracted, so she ran over with intention of stalling her.

"Uhhhh, let me have a look at them." She replied, and started scrolling through every combination logged in the system. 

"Pssst, Ray, I have an idea," Henry whispered to Ray, bringing him over to the couch. He took the man's laser remote and set the large TV monitor to come down from the ceiling. 

"Kid, what are you doing?" Ray asked, looking confused at the setup. Henry made the couch table go down and ran to the back of the Man Cave where (y/n) stored some scatter cushions in a box. He threw them at Ray, who caught them in confusion. The teen glanced at the two females on the other side of the room and saw that Charlotte was doing a good job of keeping her busy.

"Pillows? Henry, what is going on?" Ray said in a hushed tone, getting the idea that Charlotte was distracting his best friend, but he had no idea what his sidekick had planned.

"Y'know how (y/n)'s always wanted to watch the sunset in Hawaii?" Henry smiled at him as he fluffed the cushions and spread out a blanket. 

"Yeah?" The superhero was beginning to see what he was getting at, and he remembered how (y/n) had described her fantasy to him down to the tiniest detail.

"Well, you're bringing Hawaii to her. Charlotte's on Piña Coladas and ice cream, and we're getting the 'beach' ready." Ray grinned at how sweet Henry was and he ruffled his hair. 

"Wait, what do you mean I'm bringing it to her?" Ray stopped and thought about the boy's words.

"She can't watch it alone, dude." Henry grinned and signalled Charlotte to bring the woman in question over.

"Henry, I can't sit---" Ray was cut off as (y/n) turned away from the machine and gasped. The lights dimmed and she saw the couch had been made all cosy. 

"What's happening?" She said, walking over to the TV area with two bowls of vanilla ice cream. Now she understood why Charlotte insisted on looking at every topping the snack-machine had.

"We can't go to Hawaii, so I'm bringing Hawaii to you." Ray quickly went along with the plan and gestured to all the things Henry had quickly set up. 

Of course, the real Hawaii would have been so much better to anyone else, with a real sandy beach and the crystal blue sea lapping away gently, but then again, Hawaii wouldn't have meant anything without Ray.

"You did all this for me?" She questioned him, her eyes sparkling with tears as she took in the scene. Henry played the video of a Hawaiin sunset on the TV and Charlotte set down the Piña Coladas. Backing away slowly, they left silently in the elevator, high-fiving when they started moving.

"The kids helped a bit," Ray confessed, looking down at his feet. (y/n) raised her hand and peeled the mask off his face so she could read all his facial expressions. 

"My very own beach." She smiled, sitting down and pulling the blanket over her lap. Ray joined her, passing her a drink and placing the ice cream bowl in front of her. She rested her head on his shoulder and gazed at the video on the screen, imagining that they could be looking at a real sunset like this, with matching rings on their fingers.

"What did you want to tell me earlier?" Ray broke her out of the daydream, and she said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Doesn't matter." She immediately felt regret for the first time since she fell in love with him, because for the first time, she wanted to tell him. She had reacted on instinct, having acted the same way for so long now that her mind was disconnected from her heart. 

Ray said nothing, eating another mouthful of ice cream. Like her, he dreamed of taking her to Hawaii and standing on a beach just like the one onscreen. She would float towards him wearing white and they would promise to love each other forever with a sealing kiss.

'Maybe in another life.' They thought together, believing that they were worlds apart when in reality, they had never been closer.

[im-poe-dameron]

ASTERISM | REBELLION'S HOPE

a/n: it's been awhile since chapter one, but seeing the andor episodes made me really inspired. i also just take forever to write anything. i am very excited about this chapter in particular, because i've yanked an old star wars oc out of an old fic and put him in here. the chapter isn't fully edited, but i tried my best. enjoy! (also how fucking good was the start of andor?!)

there are some minor andor spoilers in here!!

summary: dying by way of dire cat isn't how you thought you'd go, but life has a funny way of turning things on its head.

word count: 5.1k+

pairing: cassian andor x fem!reader

warnings: not explicit, cussing, angst, talk of death, the makings of a crush, tension.

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Death by Dire-cat. Not the most phenomenal way to go out, but then again was there any death that could be labeled as just that? You had hoped that you would at least survive a few more years on this planet before something took you out. But alas you were stuck dying here—never able to escape. The relief in this entire predicament was knowing you wouldn’t be dying alone. That had always been your absolute fear.

Facing death without anyone beside you.

Even though you knew it was impossible to not go it alone, there was something hollow in the realization that going by yourself truly meant the end. You supposed it was only fitting for a situation like this. For half your life you had been on your own, left to fend for yourself as you waited for a family that would never return back to you. Only now—you were standing beside a Rebellion pilot and watching as a Dire-cat stalked towards you. The image nearly brought a sickening smile to your face. How poetic that this was going to be your ending.

“I’m glad you’re here,” you whispered to him, unable to tear away from the scene in front of you. “I’ve never wanted to die alone.”

His head turned, regarding you with a look you couldn’t see. If you had the gall, you would have shifted to face him. You would have seen that the words you just uttered unknowingly, held more of a meaning than you expected for the both of you. Cassian Andor, respected Rebellion Captain who held no fear of death, no fear of when the end might come.

Or so he liked to believe.

“How do you know we’ll die?” he asked, sparing a glance at the animal who stopped a few feet away from you.

“It seems fitting. The death of a person who has dreamed of nothing but freedom. Now dies because of it.”

You weren’t sure where any of these innermost thoughts were coming from, and you did nothing to stop them. Beneath the layers of everything you tried to keep protected, you realized that this was how you felt all along. Not so much fear of death or abandonment. No, it was the fear of never having lived at all that set your heart skyrocketing into a sickeningly fast rate. What was life to someone who never had a taste of what the word actually meant?

“We’ll get out of here,” he replied, the blaster still clutched tightly in his palm.

“You know I never believed it existed.” His befuddled expression was enough for you to continue. “People say that the hope of a Rebellion can be seen in a single person. I never actually thought it could be possible. Thanks for proving me wrong.”

He gaped at you, eyes wide with disbelief. Cassian was never one to think about that and yet now he found himself realizing that you were more right than he’d ever been. Hope was stored not only in the symbol of the Rebellion, but in every person who decided to lay their lives down for the cause. To fight for something far greater than them and finally see a galaxy made free. It’s the choice he made long before he was even old enough to understand it.

It would have been a choice you made as well.

The Dire-cat sprinted forward, leaping into the air and taking you with it as you raised the blade to slash into its underbelly. The shout from Cassian told you that he was firing the blaster, but the tough exterior of the animal’s skin made for a very good barrier. You wanted to fight back, to scream in horror, and yet all you could do was lie there beneath it, watching as the animal lowered its head towards you.

A cold nose pressed against your cheek followed by a puff of hot air and you were sure that this was it. The Dire-cat was merely checking to see if you were worthy enough to eat. That is…until a shrill whistle echoed in the air, freezing the cat's movements above you. One last nudge from its nose and suddenly it was shifting to the side, flopping onto the ground beside you and watching you with a content expression on its face.

“Cassian?” you called out. You wondered if you were actually still alive or if you had finally died.

His hand grasping onto your wrist forced you back into your own head. You hadn’t died. The animal didn’t make you their dinner and as Cassian helped you back to your feet you finally settled on one single thing. Who was capable of controlling a Dire-cat of this size? They were known to be ruthless. Animals that hunted without mercy.

“Did you whistle?” you asked, shaking slightly from the encounter of almost being ripped to shreds. He shook his head. “Someone’s here.”   

“Are they with—” he began.

You shrugged. “No clue. Know of any stormtroopers who have the capability of taming a Dire-cat?”

“I don’t think they know these animals exist.”

“Then who—”

Another sharp whistle came from a closer distance, causing the Dire-cat to shift until it was standing behind you. A part of you hoped that whoever tamed this beast was on your side, but still you remained wary of what would come. Gripping the blade even tighter you kept still while Cassian moved the blaster up until it was pointed directly at the treeline. Whoever or whatever revealed themselves would find the situation complicated.

“Don’t shoot!” someone called from within the trees. “I’m not with the Empire!”

Something clicked in your mind, a small sliver of recognition and yet you refused to let yourself fall into what might be a trap. “How do we know?” you responded, feeling your body tense as the Dire-cat let out a breath.

They chuckled, the leaves rustling as they came forward. “Oh come on K’tusah, you really think I’d switch sides this late in the game?”

The sight of his familiar mop of dark blue hair and blue skin had the fear melting from your body within moments. “Nomad?”

“You really believe those kriffing banthas could tame a beauty like her?”

“Nomad.” You could get no other words out, because there stood a friend you thought you lost contact with so many years ago. “You’re—”

“Alive? Here in the flesh? Did you miss me?”

Sprinting towards him, you flung your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug that was long overdue. You recall watching him leave. Saying goodbye the only way he knew how—saluting as he hopped into his worn down ship. I’m off to join the fight. Words you knew all too well, but never believed someone close to you would ever say. Off to fight a war bigger than himself and so you watched him leave.

Willing that the Force—if it exists—would protect him.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he whispered, pushing his face into your shoulder with a smile on his lips.

“When you didn’t reach out I thought—I thought you died Nomad.”

He shrugged, pulling back to wipe the stray tear that fell down your cheek. The warm expression you’d grown so used to seeing gave you a moment of peace within the flurry of chaos that had become your life. Your friend, the person who taught you most of what you know, stood before you—very much alive.

“It’ll take more than an Empire to get rid of me K’tusah. You know that.”

You laughed, letting go of him only to feel a cold, wet nose nuzzle against your neck. “The Dire-cat…”

“K’uscasi. She’s been with me since I came back to Corellia.”

Turning to watch as K’uscasi pushed her nose into Cassian instead, you felt some of the fear—the worry—begin to dissipate. “Right,” you said, heading towards Cassian who seemed intent on remaining as still as possible while she investigated whether or not he was worthy. “This is Cassian Andor. Cassian, this is Vonn Woutuc, pilot for the Rebellion.”

“The Rebellion?” he asked, surging forward. “You’re a pilot?”

Vonn nodded. “Have been for a while. My ship crashed a while back and I’ve been scouring around for another one. If you haven’t noticed, it’s been a bit dangerous to try and contact the Rebellion here.”

“You’ve been here this whole time?” The question fell from your lips before you could stop it—the pain laced in your tone enough to shift his body language.

“Don’t give me that look K’tusah; you know as well as I do that laying low was my only option.”

He was right. If the Empire found that a Rebel pilot was in their midst they would do anything they could to get even a sliver of information out of him. The ongoing war…it only got bloodier by the day. You sure as hell didn’t want Vonn’s blood to be mixed in with all the others. Death was something you not only feared but did your best to stay away from, but even now it seemed that there was only one way to finally end this fight once and for all.

Death would always be inevitable.

“Well, I have to get off this planet,” Cassian said, stepping noticeably away from the Dire-cat. “I could help you find a ship.”

“I hear there’s some traders on the other side of the mountains. They might have something there.”

“Are they allies?”

Vonn shrugged. “At this point I don’t have any preferences for people who have what I need.”

They talked, a plan forming quicker than expected to travel through the mountains, and in all that time…they never once mentioned you. Suddenly you’d become an afterthought. Someone they no longer considered a part of their mission. You weren’t sure what irritated you more. The fact that Cassian believed you to be separated from this fight, or that Vonn would exclude you from something that he knew was just as much your life as it was his.

“And what am I supposed to do?” you cut in, crossing your arms over your chest.

Vonn hesitated, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to formulate a response you’d prefer. “You need to go home.”

Well that was certainly not what you expected—not when it came to him.

“What do you mean go home?”

“The only way to keep you safe is if you go home.”

You had half a mind to send your fist flying towards his face. “You’re not being serious right? My home—the same place where I rescued his ass—is now either on fire or being occupied by stormtroopers. So where else am I supposed to go?”

“He’s right—” Your glare cut off Cassian’s words; his jaw snapping shut as he glanced away.

“I’m going with you.” Vonn’s expression told you otherwise, but you were done taking orders from them. “Whether you want me to or not.”

“Maker you’re as stubborn as a fucking falumpaset,” Vonn muttered, running a hand down his face.

You grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment Nomad.” Moving past the two men who seemed to detest the idea of you joining them, you happily pet the Dire-cat before grabbing your things. “If you’re planning on heading to the mountains, it’s going to be a day’s ride. You two can take the speeder. I’ll take her.”

“K’uscasi only responds well to me. So why don’t you let me—” He stopped where he was, eyes wide as he watched you clamber onto her back with ease, being careful to avoid the spines that protruded out of her back.

You smiled. “You were saying?”

He muttered something illegible in Cheunh; words you knew were no doubt either cursing your existence or once again commenting on how irritable you could be. When you first met Vonn you didn’t expect to gain a lifelong friend. That was mainly due to the fact that he hated you right off the bat—claiming that he’d never met someone as stubborn as you to a point where it became irritating. You didn’t bother to take his words to heart. In the end he was the one crying as he left to go join the fight, ultimately leaving you here.

“She is always this stubborn?” Cassian’s low voice filtered through the air as you nudged K’uscasi forward. His words made you smile.

Vonn sighed, clambering onto the back of the speeder behind Cassian. “Stubborn is putting it lightly.”

The familiar sound of your speeder starting up echoed off the trees in the surrounding area. The trek through the mountains had always been something you were afraid of doing. You knew the way after so many years of living on the border of them, but you’d also heard the horror stories of those that resided in the very forest you were heading into. You’d heard what happened to people who never made it back.

It was enough to scare you into remaining where you were.

K’uscasi rumbled beneath you as she ducked low enough to pass beneath the branches, giving you a warning to do the same. Thankfully she was only trotting. You weren’t too sure you wanted to be on the back of a Dire-cat when they took off sprinting. Cassian and Vonn followed close behind, going at a steady pace and sticking to the trail you were making. Vonn may have laid low in these woods, but he didn’t know the ins and outs of the pathways—he hadn’t spent his years pouring over maps of this planet in the hopes of escaping it one day.

“What made you want to join the Rebellion Cassian?” you called over your shoulder, wanting to fill the void of silence. Any conversation was better than no conversation in your book.

“It’s a long story,” he replied.

“It’s bound to happen to all of us eventually,” Vonn spoke up. “The Empire can only bring destruction for so long before a reckoning starts to stop it.”

“Who told you that?” Cassian asked.”

“She did.” You knew who Vonn was pointing to; you remembered saying those words to him all those years ago when it was you who was adamant on joining. In your own mind you wanted to be a pilot or even an engineer, but life had a different path for you in the end.

One that was sadly your own doing.

“You wanted to join the fight?”

Glancing over your shoulder, you grinned at the surprise on Cassian’s face. “Is it so hard to believe?”

“No.”

“Good.” You shifted K’uscasi to the left, recognizing the path on one of the many maps you kept.

Thankfully the sun would remain up for a few more hours, giving the three of you enough time to travel as far as possible. Getting up the mountain wasn’t the hard part. It was what came after that would put all of you to the test. There’s a reason why this trip wasn’t simply one made when they felt like getting to the otherside of Corellia. Nobody traveled this way anymore. That’s what ships were for, but if there’s one thing all of you could count on—it was that the Empire wouldn’t trek this pathway to find you.

And if they did…they wouldn’t survive.

Wincing as you slid off K’uscasi’s back, your bones were jarred once your feet landed on the ground with the thud. You’d been riding for hours, the sun slowly but steadily sinking lower and lower with every passing hour. Until it was too late for the three of you to keep going. Vonn grabbed his bag off the back of the speeder, heading into the thicket of trees around the small clearing. He’d always been a master at setting traps; making sure that there was always a way to take out the enemy before they got to you.

“We should build a fire,” you said, wincing at the pain in your back. The salve from earlier was starting to wear off, leaving an ache to form where your skin had yet to fully heal.

“That will alert others of our location,” Cassian said, watching you warily as you leaned heavily to one side.

“No.” Inhaling deeply, you shoved the pain aside, trying to focus instead on the man in front of you. “We’re so deep into the forest that they’d have to be flying directly over our heads to see the smoke.”

Vonn silently returned from the trees, shutting his bag and setting it beside K’uscasi. “She’s right. The trees should keep us covered through nightfall. But once that sun comes up we need to haul ass through this forest.” He pointed in the distance to where a peak of a mountain top was visible. “It’s called Nomad Mountains for a reason.”

You caught Cassian’s eye, shrugging as Vonn moved to the other side of the clearing to set more traps. “There’s a reason why I call him Nomad.” 

Not giving him time to question you further, you headed towards the base of a tree, gathering what wood you could. Thankfully he didn’t push, even though you somehow knew it was in his nature to do so, and chose to simply help you. He crouched beside where you were, digging through the fallen leaves to find larger sticks and brush to help keep the fire steady. Meanwhile Vonn was placing rocks to form a circle small enough to keep what fire you made untraceable, but large enough to keep the three of you warm.

The small lighter in your pocket once belonged to your grandfather. Never did you think you would need it for a time like this. The fire thankfully lit easier than you anticipated, bringing warmth to your face almost instantly. You were in a crouched position, the burn of your wound now spreading down your back and towards your thighs. Eventually the remaining strength in your body would give in, but for now you were able to stand. Granted you groaned in pain on the way up.

Years of hiding out on the edges of the forest with Vonn had made the two of you so used to this routine. Only now it was to actually keep one another safe. You’d been living with the Empire over your heads for so long, the thought of actually being in the fight against it and that becoming your reality never entered your mind.

You wanted to laugh at the hilarity of it all.

How only days ago you were wondering where your parents were as you sat alone in your house. Yet now you stood here, beside two fighters in the Rebellion and you were somehow able to call yourself one of them. You’d been fighting for years and you just had yet to realize it. 

Cassian landing in your front yard was that realization.

“Do you need help?” he asked, butting into your thoughts and capturing your attention.

It almost startled you how brown his eyes were; how the level of concern in them almost rivaled the anger in them when he first woke up. The emotion that rose in your chest scared you enough to shy away from it—to pretend that it didn’t exist. You were helping him to leave. Emotions like that couldn’t exist, because what could you do with a Rebel pilot?

How could that ever be something more than a rushed relationship? More than just the few minutes you were able to snatch together, hoping for more.

No, you’d been on a planet hoping—wishing on every star you could see—that your parents would one day return to you.

You wouldn’t do the same for someone else.

“The salve wore off,” you replied, trying to make it seem like you’d been mulling over his question rather than the small crush you were starting to harbor for him. A crush that you refused to even acknowledge.

“I threw it in your bag.”

Nodding, you reached for the brown satchel, digging through what personal items you managed to save. A small picture of your parents, a piece of jewelry said to be passed down through the generations and a ring. It was far too big to fit your finger and far too big to have ever fit your mothers. You came to the conclusion that it belonged to your father—the insignia familiar, but something that would have been forgotten about with the Empire at large.

“You don’t have to do this.” Sitting down slowly on the ground, you bit down on your lip until you tasted copper as your back hit the tree behind you.

“Something tells me I do,” he surmised.

You huffed a breath of laughter. “What tells you that?”

Rather than respond, he simply reached for the hem of your shirt, helping you pull it up slowly until the majority of your wound was bared to him. His hands radiated warmth and you were unable to fight against the shudder that went down your spine. As much as you loved the forests on Corellia—they were cold. If one wasn’t careful, they could freeze to the death during the night. Hence the thick jacket you had taken off to drape over your legs.

He pressed his palm along your ribs, his eyes flickering up to meet yours and for a brief glimpse of time you allowed the crush to form. You gave into the feeling and wondered what it would be like to call him yours. It was truly ridiculous to think of something happening this quickly. So, you shoved it back down, slamming the lid on it to seal it away forever.

But that didn’t stop him from gently gliding his fingers along the edge of the wound, checking if it was healing properly. This was merely a kind gesture towards you. He wasn’t trying to feel you up in any way. So why were you so affected?

“It’s starting to heal,” he murmured, gathering a small bit of salve on his fingers and running it over the open wound.

The sighed out moan that practically fell from your lips was involuntary. Simply a reaction to the instant relief that spread through your body, but that didn’t stop you from ducking your head in an attempt to avoid his gaze. You wished Vonn would show up and interrupt this. Make his presence known rather than fiddle with the traps out in the darkness. At least then you wouldn’t be left alone with Cassian.

The firelight played on the side of Cassian’s face, casting shadows over his stubbled jaw and serious expression. You found that you couldn’t help but wonder what he looked like when he wasn’t stressed. When he was by all means…happy.

Maker, you could barely even remember the last time you were happy. With the Empire at large and your whole life meant to be made as small as possible—you were stuck in a pit of darkness. Unable to get out. You could only imagine what someone like Cassian was going through. Someone who chose to fight against what others would call a lost cause.

“Why did you join the Rebellion?” you breathed.

He turned to look at you, pausing his movements and setting the salve on your thigh. “Why didn’t you?”

That made you smile. “You can’t answer my question with another question.”

“Why not?”

“There you go again.”

He laughed; the sound lighting something in your chest so bright it nearly burned you from the inside out. “I made a choice to finally do something meaningful with my life.”

Nodding, you leaned back. He shifted so you could press your injured back against him rather than the rough bark of a tree. The small act didn’t mean much to him, but to you it was enough for those pesky feelings to peek their head up again. Only a few hours ago he tried to put a knife through you and now here you were…crushing on him. Unbelievable.

“Something tells me that’s not the whole reason.”

He glanced down, the firelight catching the brown of his eyes and turning them molten. “What tells you that?” he asked, mimicking you from earlier.

“You lived a life before joining,” you replied, choosing to stare at the fire instead. “The Rebellion isn’t old, but resistance has always been there. In everything. You’ve probably been walking that path a lot longer than you think you have. So much so that…it chose you.”

Reading people used to be a talent of yours. To a point where Vonn began calling you a Jedi, because of how well you could get into people’s minds, figure out who they were all within a short span of meeting them. But in all honesty…you were no Jedi. You were just a person who held onto more than you were ever allowed to say out loud. Cassian didn’t look at you, he didn’t respond, but something told you that you understood him more than even he expected.

You figured out exactly who he was before he did and he wasn’t sure if he liked that.

After some time, he spoke again.

“Why didn’t you follow Vonn?”

You moved, your head falling to his shoulder in an effort to make yourself comfortable. If he didn’t like it, he didn’t say anything about it, so you remained where you were.

“I didn’t know at the time that my parents weren’t coming home.”

“They left?”

You nodded. “A long time ago.” Sighing, you picked at the worn leather of your coat. “I thought they would come back eventually. But after Vonn left and I was truly on my own I realized that…they wouldn’t be returning.”

“So why not join?”

“You talk about it like it was easy for you to join. I wanted to. I still do. But leaving the only home you’ve ever known…it’s not easy. Although maybe it was for you.”

He stilled. “I didn’t have a choice in whether I wanted to leave or not.”

“What do you mean?”

Again he fell silent, but you fell silent with him. After all, the conversation was not so vital that letting it trail off would do any harm to either of you. But you found that you wanted to know more. You wanted him to tell you personally what made his mind tick, what made him choose this life over anything else. You wanted to know him.

“I was…adopted,” he hesitated, as if even he wasn’t sure that was the right answer.

“Rescued?”

“I think so.” He sighed, his arm shifting and hand falling to rest on your thigh. “I don’t know.” 

A piece of wood crackled on the fire, and you caught a glimpse of Vonn coming through the trees catching your eye. He smiled briefly, wiggling his eyebrows at the sight of you and Cassian curled up together, before heading towards K’uscasi who was sound asleep.

“Were they…kind people?”

“Yes,” he replied without thinking twice about it. “I had a good life. At least I like to believe it was good. I wasn’t starving or without a bed.”

“But not an easy one.”

“What?”

“You said good, not easy.” You shrugged. “Having a good life doesn’t equate having an easy one. No one joins the Rebellion if their life choices were easy.”

Once again you startled him into silence, his mind reeling with the realization that perhaps you were more capable in reading people than even you believed yourself to be. “No, not easy. Is that why you didn’t join? Your life was easy, because it doesn’t sound that way to me.”

You stared at the fire, realizing that you now knew what it felt like. What to burn really meant. You weren’t sure if you liked that realization knowing that the scars of what you’d done would remain with you forever. Cassian—even if he were to leave—would have a piece of himself literally carved into your skin. That thought terrified you more than his question did.

“My life was far from easy flyboy,” you muttered, ignoring his scoff at the nickname. “I didn’t join because…I was scared.”

Admitting it now made the reason feel ridiculous, but it was true. All those years spent looking up at the sky wishing for an escape and you never created one for yourself. You had to wait for him to show up to give yourself enough of a reason to go. Joining the fight was grand and great in the scheme of things. Yet actually doing it—committing your entire life to something that very well might end it—scared the shit out of you.

“I know that may sound dumb to you,” you sighed.

“No. It doesn’t.” His hand found yours, gathering your cold palm into his warm one. “I’ve been afraid since I was a child. The fear…it never really goes away. It’s just something you learn to live with.”

“How do you live with it?”

Another piece of wood crackled, sending sparks into the night sky. “You hope that one day things will be better and go from there.”

“Ah yes hope.” You smiled, tracing his palm with your finger. “The one thing keeping this whole thing together. Rebellions are built on hope, you know. Without it…there’s nothing to fight for.”

“There’s your reason.”

You turned slightly to look him in the eyes. “What reason?”

“To join,” he stated. “Hope is greater than fear.”

Laughing, you dropped your head back to his shoulder. “Don’t you have to, I don’t know, be knighted or something in order to join the fight?”

He laughed along with you, the sound echoing beside your ear and sending a shiver down your spine. You knew that once you parted, you would ache to hear that sound again. That thought alone had a knot form in your stomach—one that wouldn’t diminish any time soon. Cassian Andor was meant for far greater than this small adventure to get back to his real life. And you…you would return to your house, say goodbye to both Cassian and Vonn, and live out your days on a planet that would one day destroy you from the inside out.

But for now you would enjoy what little time you had with him—with them both.

“I’m a Captain. Technically I could knight you as you say.”

“And what would that make me?”

“Free,” he said.

The one thing you valued above anything else in your life. The chance to finally be free from the things holding you here. You wanted to see the stars, to finally make your life hold meaning, then this was your chance. The one thing you’d been waiting for.

“Okay,” you whispered.

His eyebrows raised, lips pulling up into a grin. “Okay?”

You nodded. “I’m in.”

[divinemissem13]

I was tagged by @elephant-in-the-pride-parade.... 20 fic writing questions here we goooooooo 1. How many works do you have on AO3?: 58

2. What's your total AO3 word count?: 171,059

3. What fandoms do you write for? Star Trek: Voyager, Prodigy, Next Gen, Picard, Strange New Worlds... I've also dipped a toe into some other fandoms recently, but mostly drabbles.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Gotta Start Somewhere! (Trektober 2022) (198)

Rotund (113)

Postlude to a Kiss  (98)

What Happens on the Holodeck Stays on the Holodeck (97)

Kitchen Confidential (87)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I don't always have a lot to say, but I try to at least acknowledge comments with a heart or a "thank you."

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmmm probably Just Another Love Story (J/C Workforce AU)? Most of the time I try for at least a hopeful ending but that one is a real cliffhanger... Forever, Honey, and Au Revoir, Mon Amour are also probably in the running (thanks, Whumptober).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? As I said, I do like a happy ending, so this is harder to narrow down... but I think maybe All Things Bright and Beautiful (very fluffy Beverly/Kathryn fic)... or else maybe The Best Things In Life Are Free (J/C domestic fluff)

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really, although I have gotten comments here and there where people are pretty adamant about how they want the story to go... even if it's not the way I'm planning it to go 🤷‍♀️

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I will heavily imply it from time to time but that's as close as I get!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Within the Star Trek universe, absolutely... And Beverly/ Kathryn is one of my favorite pairings. I also attempted a Doctor Who / Voyager crossover but ended up spending the whole time with Ten & Donna... who knows, maybe I'll give that another try eventually.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of (except probably Chat GPT)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No one has but I would be open to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Did my first one very recently! Kathryn vs Coffee with @magdalenejaneway

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Kathryn Janeway/ Chakotay.... even though I'm a bit turned off by Robert Beltran at the moment, I've mostly been able to disassociate the character I write with the actor! But I do also love Kathryn/ Beverly and Picard/ Crusher (TNG)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? N/A

16. What are your writing strengths? Getting inside characters' heads/ working out why they did whatever dumb thing the original writers made them do because they had to crank out 24 episodes a season 😂

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plotting out a story in advance, visual descriptions

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I love languages but if I'm going to use another language in a fic, I will double and triple check that all of the vocab and grammar are correct and also make sure to provide a translation or enough context that one isn't needed.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Star Trek Voyager

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? Most challenging fic that I think I'm most proud of: Flecks of Light and Dark (depression focused J/C rewrite spanning from 'Hope and Fear' through to 'Latent Image') But the one that kind of lives rent free in my head at the moment is All the Wounds We Cannot See (Kathryn and Beverly meet-cute, post-Picard season 3)

That was a fun little trip down memory lane! I will tag (with zero pressure!) @madamairlock, @n-square, and @captainhattersvoyagerreviews... and anyone else who wants to answer the questions!

[accio-victuuri]

i’m running out of titles for my cpn posts so this will have to do 🍭🧁

( image source ; this is edited! )

same disclaimer applies, this is speculation only and no one is convincing anyone of anything. take what makes sense to you.

today, we started the day early with lovely photos of our xiao laoshi and the zwilling live broadcast we all waited for. tho I wish he was allowed to cook more but i guess that’s how those “demos” with celebrities go. there were really some sweet clues in that show so let me share them with you. ☺️ + other things.

1. My favorite bit in the broadcast was this part because you can see how XZ really believes in what he says like he has personal experience with it. Before this exchange, he was talking about how he would cook for this family/relatives. The convo goes :

Host : When we cook together, who washes the dishes at the end?

XZ: People who cook don't wash dishes.

Well you can interpret this in a non-cpn way and say that it’s a common courtesy for people to do if someone cooked for them — wash the dishes. or maybe this something he experienced when his mom cooked for him or whatever. But well, we are clowns here so our mind goes to division of labor in the YIZHAN HOUSEHOLD. GG cooks and Yibo is the one who washes the dishes and cleans in general. You have XZ who is a good cook and takes photos of his CNY food spread that he made / helped prep and you have Bobo who is very good at washing dishes. What a perfect combo! 😂😂😂

This conversation is interesting because if you live alone, cook and don't want to wash the dishes. You'd say : I use the dishwasher. But he said that people who cook don't wash dishes. So. Wait. Is he saying he is not alone or something? When he cooks there is always someone who will wash the dishes when he’s done? 🤔 it’s another angle in analyzing his answer because how he said that “fact” of not taking care of the dishes seems like a common occurrence. not a special occasion of people coming over to his place.

Also if someone comes over to your house as a “guest” i doubt you would make them wash the dishes. This whole i won’t do it attitude is when he is with someone close to him like someone he considers as family. Aside for what he said, it’s how he says it and even laughs fondly like he is remembering a good memory. 🤍

Tho Bobo in the past have left dishes in the sink ( UNIQ days ) and said in interviews that he would neither cook nor wash dishes — those are all before 2020. The year and timeline we CPN they spent time together during lockdown. Maybe they developed this dynamic at that time. To be fair too, Bobo has his own simple dishes that he can cook.

I also see people making fun of how he used a water gun to clean the plate in TTXS camping episode. Saying he is a kid who is playing. Actually this is wrong, it shows how he knows how to wash it. Tho he was laughing while he was doing it. He used the gun as a “faucet” because it’s better to rinse/clean if there is water pressure. I won’t be able to confirm this piece of info since i don’t have yibo on speed dial but it shows how fans view him differently. Some continue to see him as a kid who can’t do anything and some who pay attention can see all the little self improvement he makes. This example may seem like i’m reaching but there are so much more that he does and people just dismiss it because they have the image of forever bachelor yibo in their heads.

2. In the live, you can see GG eating and then coughing because of how spicy the food was. We know that his spice tolerance is not as it used to be considering he is someone from Chongqing, so the whole idea of : A person from Chongqing eats slightly spicy food, and a person from Henan is more and more able to eat spicy food is coming up among BXGs again. It’s one of those things that you do when you are close with someone. I have to say, not even in a romantic way. You can adapt habits and preference of people you are close with / spent time with. This is one of those.

3. Food mentioned that XZ enjoys : beef, yellow throat and hairy belly. as well as crispy meat. You may say these are usual favorites but why the hell is Bobo adapting the same preferences 😂 all through out the time they knew e/o, if you really paid attention to what they say, you can see these similarities.

4. I saw this unofficial bts and i’m in love with it. This fandom always has something to offer, just when you thought you know every piece of it— something else comes along. Lol. The exchange goes like this :

🦁️"His back looks like you" ( the WWX double )

🐰"Ah? Like me?"

🐰"Then..."

🦁️"Then what" (seems to guess what GG is going to say)

🐰"Choose him” *sighs*

🦁️"Shenjingbing, Shenjingbing" ( this is slang for “mad person” that’s the best way i can describe it. So in this context, yibo is saying to GG, are you mad? are you crazy? How can you tell me to choose him? )

🦁️"It must be you"

Well this is the nail in the coffin. It must be you. Whether you believe Yibo read the novel or not this hits too close to him. WangXian’s love confession.

There are a couple of things I’m picking up with this exchange:

• Bobo is reassuring GG in his own way that who he wants is him. Not someone who like WWX or the character of WWX.

• GG is really a devious little fox for saying things like that. I mean who says that to their bro? I mean, if someone tells you that— a usual reaction would be “oh really? that’s nice” and then probably say how the crew is doing so well with the costumes. but to act all jealous and imply that your co star can just choose that person instead of you. Excuse me? HAHAHAHAHA! and our Dear Bobo knew it. He knows where the conversation is going like similar things happened a couple of times. and in true smooth yibo fashion, he knew the right thing to say.

• This is one of my favorite 2018 dynamic between them because it shows how different GG is with Bobo. He is usually the reserved GG who is polite and professional. But with Yibo, he can act like this. 🤍

5. YBO just released some SDC photos and well, no matter how many fancy and sponsored jewelry he wears — we will always see the bone necklace. 🦴

I read one ask sent to @rainbowsky and I hope the Anon is just playing devil’s advocate or is a troll. If you are a troll, please stop. RBS already has so much Asks to answer and it will be better if it was spent answering Q’s of well meaning fans. It’s hard to distinguish that in Anon asks.

So let me talk more about it and why asks like that just show how people don’t have a grasp of this piece of fandom candy. Looking at the importance of it by just THIS ONE NECKLACE alone is like trying to make sense of a book trilogy’s plot by just reading the 3rd book. Trying to make sense of what’s the fuss when you only look at the last book and dismiss the history. I’ve already explained it here and i hope it clears up some questions on why turtles are so fixated with it. Anon was linking it to Bobo saying Chen Yu is a puppy. Now where would he get the idea? This boy who always viewed himself as a Lion? Well, could it be someone who called him puppy back in 2018?

My take on this is that when GG called him that and probably continued to do so, Bobo accepted that he has a side of himself that is a puppy. I think the people who loves us see a side of ourselves that we don’t or refuse to. Yibo had the whole Lion brand going on and GG did give him a Lion Gucci necklace to appease that but as time went on, I feel like Yibo warmed up to the idea of being a puppy. But only for his GG that’s why he keeps it close to his heart.

He can be a lion or a panther or a pig and it depends on what’s going on — it’s all yibo. He has different sides to him and I feel soft that it took GG saying that for him to see it. That it’s not a bad thing to have a softer side of you. That he can be a loyal and excitable puppy. How he saw that in the character of Chen Yu, in a drama set that was heavily CPN’d GG visited is not a coincidence. I think it wasn’t Yibo alone who say Chen Yu’s “puppy” potential but GG as well. 🤍

-END.

source:

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4807026536878304

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4807042562264001

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4807063786491215

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4807030936963565

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4807057972398880

[aragarna]

For the ask game 💚

also good luck packing and Bon Voyage! :D

What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

Well, because I like to ground things in reality, because several of the shows I've written for take place in New York (White Collar, POI, Forever, almost all I wrote actually!) and because events in several fics take the characters all over the city, I've acquired quite a bit of knowledge of Manhattan's geography (it does help that I've been there a few times, each time spending quite some time looking at the paper map so I do have a good mental image of Manhattan).

And speaking of looking up characters' trips on Google Maps, I've also learned that 1. You could go back in time with Street Views. 2. That Abe's Antique just kept the sign for the whole season which has thus been immortalized in Street Views. (And *for once* the address they give in the show is actually the address the building is at!)

But honestly, I don't dive too much on research while writing fics. I might look up the basics "how bad is a dislocated shoulder" or "how long to recover from a bullet wound" but I tend to use mostly what I already know (for the medical stuff, from years of watching medical dramas, including every single House episode, and the first 5 seasons of ER) and for the rest, the shows themselves, or things I do know. I like to incorporate stuff I know. Again to ground things in reality. All my White Collar post S6 fics taking place in Paris have little details based on me living in Paris. That fic where Peter and Neal spend the day visiting museums is based on my experience of those museums. Or I learn/read something unrelated, and that makes an idea pop in my head. So it's not research for a fic, but more information that lead to a fic.

Thank you for the ask and for the good wishes! :)