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#imagine if you were suffering a mental health crisis and in the middle of it thousands of eyes turned to stare at you and monitor every move
I detest the 'lol gas leak' meme so fucking much for a variety of reasons, and a lot of those reasons are important issues with puritanical values and adversity to anything outside the norm.
But honestly the BIGGEST reason is just... this image is the source of the meme:
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And God damnit SHE WAS RIGHT. Gas leak or no, I have seen SO MANY FUCKING TRANS PEOPLE (MYSELF INCLUDED) FLIRT EXACTLY LIKE THAT. That line would ABSOLUTELY work on me.
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Vance did not grow up in poverty or in Appalachia. He grew up middle class in the Rust Belt, in Middletown, Ohio. His grandparents were from eastern Kentucky, in Appalachia, and he visited their old homestead during holidays. His experience with Appalachian poverty is the equivalent of a student writing about their summer vacations. Vance is quick to qualify his success with faux-humility: “I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve accomplished nothing great in my life, certainly nothing that would justify a complete stranger paying to read about it.” Still, he claims the book is a representation of “the American Dream as my family and I encountered it.” He is playing off the belief, widespread in Appalachia, in my experience, that folks who are suffering from addiction, in need of social welfare, or otherwise down on their luck are to blame because they didn’t work hard enough. Vance boldly generalizes his family as “hardworking, except of course for the many food stamp recipients who show little interest in honest work.”
[...]
I don’t have the money and power that Vance does, but here’s what I’ve learned: Appalachia is a distinct place. It is easy to spin false narratives about it because not many people know much about it outside the region. Addiction is a public health crisis here, as are mental health and heart disease. Queer people, women, and non-white people live here. Its relative lack of monetary and educational resources exists alongside its wealth of natural beauty. Growing up in a place of natural beauty reminds you that the earth is alive, and it’s sick. Growing up with few resources amid addiction teaches you to make much of little, to use imagination as refuge, to be attentive to those around you, and to care for those who are not always well enough to care for you back. It reminds you that community extends past your biological family and that family is a responsibility and gift. It reminds you that salary is not the measure of a person.
27 August 2024
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doctorguilty · 27 days
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Hhhdhf
The last thing I'd want anyone to do right now is start a load of laundry because if the migraine I'm having that feels like I'm being lobotomized after like, my borderline mental health crisis, but whenever I try to like communicate such things like, can you perhaps maybe wait another day to do this for I am in agony,,, my grandparents are like........ ummmmm ok so you just want me to be out of underwear? You just want me to have no clothes and be naked? Just wear rags? Have nothing? (While having like fully stocked dressers and multiple closets full of clothes) like even when I was like can you guys Not run the dryer on high for several hours just to dry like 3 loads of towels when it's 98 degrees because it is acting like a heater and I don't have ac down here and I'm on the verge of heat exhaustion like maybe can you just dry these on low? And they're like ........ that will take literally forever........ that will waste All our electricity .... (it doesn't work like that) also again there's like no shortage of towels or basically anything in the house they are just very Bored people with nothing to do and laundry is like I guess the most stimulating thing they can think of and don't like being impeded from it even if I'm like, suffering, also when I went upstairs (my grandparents were out today for several hours so I was alone for a bit) my grandpa like dragged his hamper down the stairs before he left and left a trail of dirty underwear and socks across the house like some kind of cartoon character, also like almost Every upstairs light imaginable was left on like the kitchen lights the stove light the hall light the lights in their room, like for all the talk about wasting electricity it's like djdfjskjfksf why is it so illuminated up here in the middle of the afternoon in full daylight and no one's even home
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therealvinelle · 4 years
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I would 100 percent love a rundown of every vampire and how they would react to the option to be human again.
... every vampire..?
I guess we’re doing this.
Afton is more useless to the Volturi than ever. This changes nothing, in part because nobody notices. Afton dies of old age in a cry for attention.
Alec can have puberty?! Get tall? Have sex? Sign him the fuck up. Alec spends ten years as a human. Unfortunately it turns out he has the worst genes, so he stops at 5 feet and doesn’t grow an inch taller. He is Volterra’s short king. Even more unfortunate is the fact that the ladies still see him as a kid and would feel weird about sleeping with him, so no luck on that front either. (Somehow, Jane is both taller and gets all the hawt dewds)
Alice would not like this at all. Having a human is nice, that’s fun. Alice loves her Bella Barbie. Being a human? Oh god no.
Alistair’s whole thing is that he’s living as a hermit because he’s terrified of everyone and everything. If he became human again, he would still be a hermit, but lacking any of the survival skills or basic equipment that human hermits accrue he would quickly die out there in the wild.
Amun might just be the oldest vampire in the world, and he has been a god. Going back to being human would be too low, it would be the greatest humiliation imaginable. Hard no from Amun.
Anne was Victoria’s sister, the two girls were impoverished and Anne prostituted herself to feed them. Since she was executed by the Volturi within that same century, she would be returning to that same, horrible life. All the nopes, Anne gets her creator to turn her again.
Aro would be very practical about it, I think, and find someone to turn him back before the plague got him. Though I’m sure he’d be too curious not to try for himself the modern, global, human cuisine, so whoever was turning him has to sit by and wait while Aro drinks all the margaritas and eats all the sushi. And probably human flesh, gotta know what it tastes like from the other side
Athenodora has spent a very long time in that tower tripping on Corin’s gift. As she walks into the Volterra town square she has a full on Plato’s cave allegory epiphany, as she realizes that the tower was a fever dream and the real world is blurry and she doesn’t want to eat anybody. She comes to the conclusion that vampires aren’t real.
Bella would feel like Cinderella at the end of the ball, her beautiful gown turns back into rags and she’s an unworthy human again. Edward is overjoyed she smells delicious is fragile again and refuses to turn her back. Heartbreak ensues.
Benito invented newborn wars, he’s got a million enemies. He better become a vampire again immediately, or he’s dead.
Benjamin is the avatar, which is great. He lives in hiding because Amun has him convinced that Aro would enslave him, which is less great. Being human would not solve this.
Boris was living his best life being a fake Russian noble in the court of Versailles. Being a fake noble as a human is just not as fun, and he finds himself a vampire to get turned back.
Bree was miserable as a vampire, but her life wasn’t great to begin with. She was homeless and starving. I imagine she’d say no to humanity because she had nothing to return to, but this would be a survival move that had nothing to do with what she wanted in life.
Caius has no time for this nonsense, he turns back immediately.
Carlisle I’ve outlined in this post, but to repeat it here he is quite happy being a vampire, humanity has nothing to offer him. His ridiculously large network of friends would be put to good use once again as he tries to find someone who’ll turn him. (He has a surprisingly hard time, as no one wants to risk being the asshole who ate Carlisle Cullen. He eventually comes crawling back to a delighted Aro)
Carlisle’s creator is the lowest of the low, trash who lives in the slums, gets caught by humans, eats half a mob and then lets a newborn loose in the middle of London. This guy is a slob who does not have his life in order. Without vampirism, he starts shooting up under a bridge and dies within a few weeks. He does not get turned back into a vampire because nobody’s touching that.
Carmen would probably want a baby before turning back. The problem with trying to raise a human child as a vampire is that children bleed all the time. Eleazar Jr. scrubs his knee, Carmen goes full Cronus on her son, and Dostoyevsky is proud.
Charles... I don’t know if anybody agreed with my post on Renata, I for one think Luca is horrifying, and based on that Charles would turn back immediately because he’s not leaving Makenna on her own. Not to mention, Charles is one of the few vampires in Twilight who chose his fate.
Charlotte and Peter are living happily, thinking the Cullens are crazy for appreciating humans, so no changes there.
Chelsea might actually be a bit allured by humanity, since this way she can find out once and for all if she can form organic, normal relationships. However, she’s been a vampire for millennia, which makes it impossible for her to relate to humans. She makes no friends, and comes to believe that she is unlovable. She becomes a vampire again and, after an extended existential crisis, eventually becomes Marcus.
Corin would want to try all the human drugs. Gotta find out if weed is better than she is! Unfortunately half of Volterra is hooked on her, and she’s turned before she can find a good dealer.
Didyme would immediately suffer a brain aneurism, and die. Marcus becomes Marcus, but this is ultimately the better timeline since Aro can mourn his sister normally.
Diego’s life was pretty much over since gang members were out to get him, so he’s not returning to humanity anytime soon. Although vampirism means that now everyone he meets is a potential gang member out to get him (indeed, Victoria gets him), so maybe humanity would appear comparatively peaceful.
Demetri seems to be having a cool time being a vampire, so back into the ranks of the unholy he goes.
Edward, oh boy. I can’t imagine it, and I don’t want to.
Eleazar is a pretty self-righteous and sanctimonious fellow, I am sure he would not only choose to remain human, but talk about how noble it is that he’s staying human. He would not enjoy being human.
Emmet would be a miserable human, but to turn back would be to turn his back on Rosalie, and so he would dutifully remain, even as he grew to resent her for it. Once again I have a post.
Esme would not want humanity given the choice, but if she suddenly is human then provided Carlisle was as well, I imagine she would want to get a do-over. However, trouble is that if she wants to have a baby, then she’ll have to stick around with said baby as well. Sticking around means remaining human. Honestly, I’m not sure where that would go. Terrible places once Carlisle runs off to Italy, I’m sure.
Felix is another dude who seems pretty happy with vampirism. He sticks his hand into the first fanged mouth that he can find.
Fred is having a good time as well now that he has left Victoria’s army, no arguments here.
Garrett seems quite happy to be a vampire, although he enjoys new things enough that I think he’d want to spend a few years experiencing things from this human perspective. Alas, he’d have pictured the life human influencers and fictional humans were leading - it can’t be too far off, right? Well, real humans need jobs and housing and health insurance. One thing leads to another, and Carlisle finds himself bankrolling Garrett’s human adventures.
George is a seriously amazing guy who goes around pretending to be a demon called Astaroth and making fake demon deals with people. He’s an amazing conman, but his whole schtick depends on being a vampire, so it wouldn’t work if he were human. Vampirism it is.
Heidi apparently lived a terrible life as a human and was pity-turned into a vampire, so I don’t think she’d have any happy associations with humanity at all. She buys the first ticket back to damnation.
Hilda was a feminist bleeding heart who made suffering women invulnerable. Vampirism, to her, seems to have been salvation, with humanity a miserable state. Hard no from Hilda.
Huilen didn’t want anything to do with this supernatural horrorshow that killed her sister, and I imagine she’s one of the few who’d actually fare well as a human again, even though time has passed.
Irina drowns her Laurent-shaped sorrows in booze and men.
James would be furious with everything for letting this happen to him, and want to be turned back again.
Jane, like Alec, is overjoyed that she can have puberty again. This works out great for her. Like a middle school goth phase, she sort of pretends that whole 1200-year-stint as an actual twelve-year-old didn’t happen, going “oh, yeah... that” when it’s mentioned.
Jasper isn’t eating people anymore, praise Jesus. I think he’d actually fare quite well, he’d become a dusty professor in philosophy at some college and the violence would truly be behind him.
Joham is a monster and I imagine his children would eat him before he could get turned back. Good on them.
Kachiri is quite happy with Senna and Zafrina, she wouldn’t want that to change.
Kate loves Garrett very much, but there are all these human men she won’t have to worry about killing..?
Kebi was a slave who was chosen by Amun to be... well, his slave forever. As an unchanging vampire she’s stuck, but humanity could represent real hope for her, the only hope, really. Hard yes from Kebi.
Kristie is one of the two Victoria recruits who managed to turn the army into a high school, where you were either in the right clique or you were a square. Kristie is clearly an opportunist who’ll make the best of any situation, human or vampire.
Kumboh is a highly eccentric vampire who works in a mental hospital and gets attached to the humans there, to the point where he dies for one. This is not a man I can predict.
Laurent spent his existence in a pursuit of power without understanding what power is, and ended up stuck with the white trashiest vampires ever to white trash. Several logical leaps based on 18th century French Versailles logic later he endeavors to marry into the British royal family.
Liam is living quite happily with his wife and surrogate daughter, and even if he wasn’t then Siobhan is going to want her hubby back. And what Siobhan wants, Siobhan gets.
Luca is quite happy being the family patron who sometimes takes niece-brides (or family demon who keeps stealing their daughters), so he would want his fangs back. But, I’m sorry but I think he’d seize the opportunity to impregnate one of his descendants, because if this guy is all about preserving his family line then I can’t imagine he’d be able to resist a son.
Lucy, like Maria, would be in so much trouble. Honestly, I think Maria would eat her immediately. Easiest way to get rid of competition.
Maggie might want to grow a bit older and less emaciated before turning, but like Liam, Siobhan’s gift would see to it that the coven became whole again.
Makenna wanted vampirism once, I imagine she’d want it again. She seems quite happy with her life.
Marcus is finally able to kill himself. Happy days.
Maria would be in so much trouble. She is a human in newborn war territory, all the vampires around her have terrible control, and the ones with good enough control to turn her are enemy army leaders who want her dead. She is forced to make a phone call to Jasper and ask if he can put in a good word with Carlisle.
Mary (Carlisle’s friend), it’s been over a century and she’s still living alone. Sounds lonely, so maybe she’d be down for the change.
Mary (Hilda’s coven) is living that feminist liberation life with Hilda, and humanity would throw her right back into poverty and misery. Big nope.
Nettie would be eaten by Jasper, since Maria already ate Lucy.
Noela is a member of Hilda’s coven, meaning her life was awful. She would not want it back.
Peter is living happily ever after with Charlotte, it’s a good life. Peter does not want things to change.
Randall was turned in the 1960′s, so I’m sure he’d want some of that sweet weed again.
Raoul was a gangbanger and humanity is better off without him. So are vampires.
Renata had awful circumstances around her turning, and nothing to return to. Her human family either sold her out or were unable to protect her, my money’s on them thinking that her fate was a great honor, and either option makes them someone I imagine she has put behind her. As it is now, she has purpose with the Volturi, and no one is making her be anybody’s bride. She would not want things to change, nevermind becoming human.
Riley thinks he has found true love and glorious purpose, and would remain the way he is.
Rosalie would be delighted, but she has poured years of bitterness and crushed dreams into the dream of the perfect human life. Reality wouldn’t live up to her ideal and this time she can’t blame vampirism. I think she’d start drinking.
Santiago presumably has an alright time being a vampire, he has purpose and community with the Volturi. No changes here.
Sasha wanted a big ol’ family, turning first her niece and then women who resembled her niece enough to look like her sisters, so I imagine that, like all good Denali women, she’d seduce a sexy human male and give herself a few more daughters. Disaster would ensue if they were sons, or not blondes.
Senna is living happily with her girlfriends, let nothing disrupt that.
Siobhan’s life is great, with her gift her life will be as she wishes it to be, and she seems to truly enjoy being a vampire. It wouldn’t even be a question for her.
Stefan and Vladimir (no, they don’t get individual entries) are has-beens. Without vampirism, they would be greater has-beens than ever. This makes Aro’s century, and he makes it clear to the vampire world that no one is to turn these two back. Their lives suck and then they die.
Sulpicia is above pesky human sustenance, the mere thought is revolting. She accidentally starves herself to death.
Victoria would be at once more and less paranoid. Her gift isn’t going haywire telling her about all the danger, but she’s a human, so all is danger. I think she’d start drinking too.
Victoria’s NPC army recruits are newborns who love that sweet sweet blood, ain’t nobody turning their back on that.
Tanya would be so fucking happy, oh my god. She can bang all the dudes, and she won’t have to worry about killing them! She forgets that human women have to worry about STDs and pregnancies. Now she has chlamydia and a baby.
Tia’s big problem is that she’s stuck living with this ancient and bitchy loser who takes himself way too seriously. Vampirism on its own is great, she’s down for that.
Unnamed tracker formerly employed by the Volturi was relieved of his duties in the most “oops, you’re useless now” way possible. That hurts your self esteem. Becoming a powerless human would hurt it even more. Unnamed tracker formerly employed by the Volturi does not want this.
Vassilii would grow up, and have a host of issues because being a toddler with memories of bloodthirst and killing people is bad for child development.
Zafrina is having a great time with her girlfriends and her illusions. And it’s been a very long time since they were human, I don’t think anything remains of their culture. At least not anything they’d recognize.
Hope this answers your question, anon...
Edit: Added Carlisle’s Creator, Sasha, and Vassilii. If I’ve missed anybody else, let me know.
Edit 2: Added Bree, Diego, Frank, Kristen, Raoul, Riley, and Victoria’s NPC army recruits.
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careydodd · 3 years
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amphtaminedreams · 4 years
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J.K Rowling & The Echo Chamber of TERFs: Why Nobody Wants your Transphobic “Opinion”
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TW// Discussion of Sexual Assault and Transphobia
SO...
I’ve seen the term “allyship fatigue” going round a lot lately on Twitter, since the issues of police brutality, institutional racism, and now transphobia have taken central stage.
And it’s weird. To be honest, hearing other white cis people calling themselves “allies” has always sounded kinda self-congratulatory. Taking this to the level of martyrdom that the phrase “allyship fatigue” evokes makes me want to heave. It’s shit that anyone even has to be saying Black Lives STILL Matter, but it does seem to unfortunately be the case that every time there is a highly publicised murder of a black individual by police, the explosion of us white people calling ourselves allies and retweeting and reblogging statements of solidarity only lasts so long before half revert back to being complacent with and uncritical of a world seeped with casual racism. Is that what “allyship fatigue” is? The excuse for that? Not only does the term take the focus off of the marginalised group the movement is centred around but it makes supporting equal rights sound like some kind of heroic burden we’ve chosen to take on rather than addressing a debt we owe and being not even good but just plain decent human beings. WE are not the ones shouldering the weight here, and if your mental health is suffering, that is not the fault of the people asking for their rights. Log off. We have the privilege to do that. It just doesn’t need to be a spectacle.
At the same time, this public onslaught of ignorance and hatred that the coverage of the Black Lives Matter movement has triggered (that let me again emphasise, black people have had to involuntarily be on the receiving end of their whole lives) and the frustration and anger that comes from seeing these absolute trash takes from people with no research into the subject who build their argument purely on “what about”isms is do-I-even-want-to-bring-children-into-this-fucking-world levels of miserable. In terms of earth beginning to look more and more like the prequel describing the events which lead up to a dystopian novel, the chaos of the last 4 weeks or so (2020 has not only shattered the illusion of time but also danced on the shards, I know) is the tip of the iceberg. I saw a thread about what’s going on in Yemen at the moment, which I had no idea about, and immediately felt consumed by guilt that I didn’t know. With the advent of social media, there’s been this sudden evolutionary shift where we’re almost required and expected to know about, have an opinion on, and be empathetic with every humanitarian crisis at once. I think young people feel this especially, which is why I say that sometimes it’s worth talking to an older person before you brush them off as a racist or a homophobe and see if they’re open to hearing different opinions-in general, I think we’re a generation that is used to being expected to consume a huge amount of information at once. They are not. For a lot (NOT all) of the older, middle-class, white population, ignorance isn’t a conscious choice, it is the natural way of life. The parameters of empathy until very recently have only had to extend just past your closest circle of friends to encompass people you “relate to”. That doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of caring about other things, and sometimes we owe them a chance to change their perspective first, if for no reason other than to advance the cause of, well, basic human rights for all.
So where does J.K Rowling come into all this? I hear you ask. Why doesn’t she just stop rambling? You potentially wonder. Well, I’m getting to it. 
J.K Rowling isn’t an unconsciously ignorant people. She is what I would call consciously ignorant. And of all weeks to flaunt this ignorance, she chose a time when people are already drowning in a cesspit of hatred. The woman whose whole book series supposedly revolves around the battle between good and evil didn’t even try to drain the swamp. She instead added a bucket of her transphobic vitriol into it. 
Let me preface this by saying that I wouldn’t wipe my arse with the Sun. What they did with the statement she made regarding her previous abusive relationship, seeking out said abusive partner for an interview and putting it on the front page with the headline “I slapped J.K”, whilst expected from the bunch of cretinous bottom feeders who work there, is disgusting. That being said, the pattern of behaviour J.K Rowling has exhibited since she first became an online presence is equally disgusting, and just because the Sun have been their usual shithead selves, doesn’t mean we should forget the issue at hand, that issue being her ongoing transphobia and erasure of trans women from women’s rights.
As I’m sure is the case for many people on Tumblr, J.K Rowling has always been such a huge inspiration for me, and Harry Potter was my entire childhood. My obsession with it continued until I was at least 16 and is what got me through the very shit years of being a teenager, and that will forever be the case. I’m not here to discuss the whole separation of the art from the artist thing because whilst I ordinarily don’t think that’s really possible, at this point the “Harry Potter universe” has become much bigger than J.K herself. I was so pleased to see Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint all affirm their support for trans rights-I was raised on the films up until the 4th one which I wasn’t old enough to see at the cinema, and the DVD was at the top of my Christmas list. They were always my Harry, Hermione and Ron. It was only between the fourth and fifth films that I started to read the books to fill that gaping in-between-movies hole, but as I grew up, I read them over and over and over again. Any of the subtext that people are talking about now in light of her antisemitism and transphobia went completely over my head, though who knows, whilst I can sit here and write that I’m certain I didn’t, maybe I did pick up some unconscious biases along the way? The art/artist discussion is a complex one and I don’t know if I’ll ever read the books again at this point.
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There was absolutely no subtext, however, in the “think piece” on J.K’s website addressing the response to her transphobic tweets. There wasn’t all that much to unpack in the first tirade, they were quite openly dismissive-first that womanhood is defined by whether or not one experiences menstruation (I currently don’t due to health issues but I’m betting this wouldn’t make me any less woman in her eyes), and second, regurgitating an article which furthers the fallacy that trans women simply existing erases the existence of cisgender lesbian women. Rowling’s initial response to the backlash was to blame it on a glass of red wine, I think? Which is such a weird go-to excuse for celebrities because not once have I ever got drunk and completely changed my belief system. If you’re not transphobic sober, you don’t suddenly become transphobic drunk. What you are saying is that you’re not usually publicly transphobic (which isn’t even the case with Rowling because this is hardly her first flirtation with bigotry via social media) but that whoopsies! You drank some wine and suddenly thought it was acceptable!
Now what is her excuse for the formal response she wrote to the backlash, dripping with transphobic dog whistles and straight up misinformation (UPDATE: and as of yesterday, blocking Stephen King quite literally for replying to her with the tweet “trans women are women”, in case you thought that this whole thing was a case of her intentions being misconstrued)? Drunk tweets are one thing but if she managed to write a whole fucking essay whilst pissed I imagine there’s a lot of university students out there who’d pay her good money to learn that skill.
Here is the bottom line. TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN. There is no discussion around that. And if you don’t understand why, at the very least, you can be respectful of the way a person chooses to identify, especially when that person is an already targeted minority.
Obviously, sex and gender are complex things. Based on the fact that we don’t walk around with our nether-regions out, we generally navigate our way through the world using our gender and the way we present our gender. Gender of course means many different things to many different people; some see it as a sliding scale kind of thing whereas some people can’t see themselves on the scale at all, and choose to use terms other than man or woman to express how they identify. But, whatever gender one chooses to identify as, we live in a modern world-with all the scientific advancements we’ve made and all that we now know about the brain, using what is between people’s legs to define them is an ignorant, outdated copout. You’ll find that a lot of transphobes can live in harmony with trans women who conform, who have classically feminine features, maybe facial feminisation surgery, trans women who keep quiet about how they’re seen by cis women and don’t kick up “too much of a fuss” (which is in itself still a perfectly valid, brave and understandable way to live your life after years of feeling like you don’t fit in btw). The trans women that Joanne and her friends take the most issue with is the ones who want to expand what womanhood means and stretch the boundaries of what is and isn’t acceptable, destroying the confines of simplistic model that TERFs feel comfortable operating within. The ones who fight to be recognised as no “lesser” than cis women. Calling a person a TERF is quite literally just asserting that they are someone who wants to exclude trans women from their definition of womanhood, or in other words wants to cling to the old, obsolete model. If J.K Rowling cannot let the statement “trans women are women” go unchallenged (which we’ve seen from her response to Stephen King’s tweet she cannot), then she is by definition a TERF. It’s not a slur. It’s a descriptor indicating the movement she has chosen to associate herself with. Associating the descriptor of the position you so vehemently refuse to denounce in spite of all evidence and information offered to you with the concept of a “witch hunt” when trans women are ACTUALLY brutally murdered for an innate part of their identity is insulting, at the very least.
Let’s get this straight: despite transphobes trying to conflate sex with gender and arguing that sex is the only “real” identifier of the two, our existence on this planet and our perception of this world is a gendered experience. It is our brain, where the majority of researchers agree that gender lies, which decides and dictates not only who we are and how we feel but also how we interact with everyone around us. I don’t think it’s an outlandish statement to say that when it comes to who we are as people, that flesh machine protected by our skull is the key player.  PSA for transphobes everywhere: when people say penises have a mind of their own, they are NOT talking literally. The more you know. 
Gender is obviously a much newer concept than sex-it is both influenced by and interacts with every element of our lives. It’s also much more complex, in that there are still many gaps in our understanding. I assume these two factors combined with the familiarity of the (usually) binary model of biological sex are a part of why TERFS fundamentally reject the importance of gender in favour of the latter. Yes, most of the time, we feel our gender corresponds with our sex, but not always, and nor is there any concrete proof that this has to be the case. Most studies tend to agree that our brains start out as blank slates, that we grow into the gender we are assigned based on our bodies. In other words, our sex only defines our gender insofar as the historical assumption that they are the same thing, which in turn exposes us to certain cultural expectations. To any TERFs that have somehow ended up here-if you haven’t already, I suggest looking into the research of Gina Rippon, a neuroscientist whom has spent a large portion of her professional career analysing the data of sex differences in the brain. Whilst she originally set out to find some kind of consistent variance between the brains of the 2 prominent sexes to back up the idea that the brains of men and women are inherently different, she found nothing of significance-individual differences, yes, but no consistent similarities in the brains of one sex that were not present in the other. Once differences in brain size were accounted for, “well-known” sex differences in key structures disappeared-in terms of proportion, these structures take up the same amount of space in the brain regardless of sex. Her findings are best summed up by her response to the question: are there any significant differences in the brain based on sex alone? Her answer is no. To suggest otherwise is “neurofoolishness”. Not only does her research help put to bed the myth that our brains are sexed along with the rest of our bodies during development (this is now believed to happen separately, meaning the sex of our bodies and brains may not correspond), but also the idea propagated by the patriarchy for centuries that basically boils down to “boys will be boys”-a myth used to condone male sexual violence against women and even against each other on the basis that it is inherent and “can't be helped”. That they are just “built differently”. Maybe at one point in human evolution, men were conditioned to fight and women were conditioned to protect, but whilst the idea remains and continues to affect our societal structures (and thus said cultural expectations), we’ve moved on. I mean we evolved from fish for fuck’s sake but you don’t see us breathing underwater. 
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Gender identity is based on many things and admittedly we don’t fully have the complete picture yet. The effects that socialisation and gender norms in particular, as much as we don’t want them to exist, have on our brain are huge; there’s evidence that they can leave epigenetic marks, or in other words cause structural changes in the brain which drive biological functions and features as diverse as memory, development and disease susceptibility. Socialisation alters the way our individual brains develop as we grow up, and as much as I’d love to see gender norms disappear, they’ll probably be around for a long time to come, as will their ramifications. The gap between explaining how socialisation affects the brain of cisgender individuals compared to the brains of transgender or non-binary individuals is not yet totally clear, but as with every supposed cause and effect psychology tries to uncover, there are outliers and individual differences. No, brains are not inherently male or female at birth but they are all different, and can be affected by socialisation differently. In one particularly groundbreaking study conducted by Dick Swaab of the Netherlands Institute for Neuroscience, postmortems of the brains of transgender women revealed that the structure of one of the areas in the brain most important to sexual behaviour more closely resembled the postmortem brains of cisgender women than those of cisgender men-it’s also important that these differences did not appear to be attributable to the influence of endogenous sex hormone fluctuations or hormone treatment in adulthood.
Maybe dysphoria is something that evolves organically and environmental factors don’t even come into it. Like I said, we don’t have the whole picture. What we DO know is that for some people, as soon as they become self-aware, that dysphoria is there, and the evidence for THAT, for there being common variations between the brains of cisgender individuals and transgender individuals, is overwhelming. You can be trapped in a body that does not correspond with how your brain functions, or how you wish to see yourself. Do individuals like J.K Rowling really believe it is ethical to reinforce the idea that we are defined by our sex and that our sex should decide the course of our lives, should decide how we are treated? That we should reduce people to genitals and chromosomes when our gender, the lens through which we see and interact with the world, could be completely different? Do they not see anything wrong with perpetuating the feelings of “otherness” and dysphoria in trans individuals that results from society’s refusal to see them as anything more than what body parts they have? In a collaboration between UCLA MA neuroscience student Jonathan Vanhoecke and Ivanka Savic at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, the statistics collected pointed to what trans activists have always been trying to get at-the areas of the brain responsible for our sense of our identity showed far more neural activity in the brains of trans individuals when they were looking at depictions of their body that had been changed to match their gender identity than when this wasn’t the case; when they saw themselves with a body that corresponded with their gender identity, when they were “valid” by society’s definition, they felt more themselves. When J.K Rowling tells trans people that their “real identity” is the sex they were born with, she is denying them this right to be themselves and due to her large platform, encouraging others to do the same. YOU are doing that, J.K. And who knows why? Where does your transphobia come from? Peel back the bullshit layers of waffle about feeling silenced and threatened, which you know you are directing at the wrong group of people, and admit it’s for less noble reasons. Taking the time to unlearn the instinct embedded into your generation to see people according to the cultural status quo of biological determinism is effort, I know-but you wrote a 700+ page book. I’m sure you can manage it. Or is it an ego thing? You don’t want to admit that you may have been uneducated on gender and sex in the past, and now have to stick by your reductive position so your image as an “intellectual” isn’t compromised. I don’t know. Only you do. But your position is irresponsible and dangerous either way. You can make up bullshit reasons as to why the link between trans individuals and the incidence of suicide attempts and completions isn’t relevant or representative of the struggle that trans people face due to the hatred that people like you propagate but it is there, and you J.K Rowling, someone who has spoken in the past about the horror of depression, should know better. You should know better than to CLAIM you know better than the experienced researchers who have found the same pattern time and time again-that the likelihood of trans individuals committing suicide is significantly higher than that of cis people. 
No, Rowling’s transphobia has never been as upfront as saying “I don’t believe transgender people exist” but she continues to imply that when she makes claims such as womanhood being defined by whether or not one experiences menstruation, and the completely subjective concept of whether an individual has faced sex-based violence from cisgender men. I’m sure she’d be out here taking chromosome proof cards like Oysters if it wasn’t for intersex individuals throwing her whole binary jam into a tailspin. Yep, there’s even suggestions that the binary biological model might not be so binary these days-just because two people have, say, XY chromosomes, does not mean that these chromosomes are genetically identical between individuals-the genes they carry can, and do, vary and so their actions and expressions of sex vary. 
Ideally, what TERFs want to do with their language of “real womanhood” is create an exclusive club that trans women are left out of when they too suffer under the same patriarchal society that those who are born female do. Yes, they might not experience ALL the issues a person born with female genitalia do, but no two women’s life experiences are the same anyway. Trans women also have their own horrible experiences with the patriarchy, and are often victims of a specific kind of gendered violence that is purported by the idea of “real womanhood”. Don’t throw trans sisters under the bus because you’re angry about your experience as a woman on this planet-direct your anger at the fucking bus. Don’t claim that “many trans people regret their decision to transition” when the statistics overwhelmingly show that this is the EXACT FUCKING OPPOSITE of the truth (according to British charity organisation Mermaids, surgical regret is proportionately very low amongst gender affirmation outpatients and research suggesting otherwise has been broadly disproven) because you’ve spoken to a selective group of trans individuals probably handpicked by the TERFS you associate with to confirm their biases, and then have the nerve to claim that trans-activists live in echo chambers on top of that. Don’t use anecdotes and one-off incidences where “trans women” (I say trans women in quotation marks because we’re pretty much talking about a completely statistically insignificant group of perverted cis men who have, according to TERFs, somehow come to the conclusion that going through transition will make their already easy-to-get-away-with hobby of assaulting women even...easier to get away with?) have committed sexual crimes to demonise and paint as predatory group who are largely at risk and in 99.9% of situations, the ones being preyed on. It’s a point so disgusting that trans activists shouldn’t even have to respond to it, but the idea that an individual would go to the pains of legally changing their gender and potentially the hell of the harassment that trans people face, the multiple year long NHS waiting lists to see specialist doctors,  just so that they can gain access to women only spaces is ridiculous. It’s worth noting here just how sinister you repeatedly bringing up this phantom threat of cis men becoming trans women in order to assault women in “women only” spaces is. The implication here is that they should use the toilet corresponding to the sex they were born as, right? Because it’s all about safety? Well, statistically speaking, far more trans women are abused whilst having to use men’s toilets than when they use women’s ones and the same goes for trans men, and yet you don’t mention it once. Your suggestion also puts people born female who identify as women but maybe do not dress or present in a typically feminine way at risk of being ostracised when THEY need to use the women’s bathroom. The idea that by ceasing to uphold values like yours we are putting women at risk is quite simply, unsubstantiated; the legislation to allow individuals to use the bathroom corresponding to whichever gender they legally identify as has been around since 2010 in the UK and yet we’ve yet to see the sudden spike in the number of women being assaulted in bathrooms you imply will exist if we create looser rules around gender identity and let people use whichever toilet they feel the need to. Similarly, in a study of US school districts, Media Matters found that 17 around the country with protections for trans people, which collectively cover more than 600,000 students, had no problems with harassment in bathrooms or locker rooms after implementing their policies. If cis men want to assault women, they will. They don’t need to pretend to be trans to do so. Don’t pretend to be speaking as a concerned ally of LGBTQ+ individuals when you’re ignoring the thoughts of the majority of individuals who come under that category.
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(Just Some of the Trans Women Murdered for Being Trans Over the Last Couple of Years, L-R: Serena Valzquez, Riah Milton, Bee Love Slater, Naomi Hersi, Layla Pelaez, and Dominique Fells)
Trans women are not the threat here. Bigots like you are the threat. HOW DARE you use your platform to reinforce this rhetoric that gets trans people killed when there are so many much MUCH more important things going on right now. Two black trans women had been murdered just for being black trans women in the week you wrote your essay defending those initial tweets. This is an ongoing issue. As a cis woman, my opinion should read as sacred texts to you right, Joanne? Because I’ll say with my whole chest that I feel far more threatened by bigots like you who do not care for the harmful impact of their words than I do by trans women. I do not feel threatened by trans women AT ALL. And yeah, to me, unless they tell me otherwise that they like to go out their way to affirm their trans-ness (which I completely respect-it takes a lot of courage to be proud about your past in a world that condemns you for it), they’re just WOMEN like any other. Yes their experience of “womanhood” may be different to mine but no two individuals experiences are the same anyway and our gender related suffering has the same cause. As a rich, white, cis woman, it’s wild that you are painting yourself as the victim in this debate when trans people can face life in prison and in some places a death sentence for openly identifying with a gender different to their sex in a lot of countries. Nobody is saying that you can’t talk about cis women. Nobody is saying you can’t talk about lesbian issues either, though it’s a bit of a piss-take that you like to throw that whole trans women erase lesbian existence argument out there as a kind of trump card to say “look, I can’t be a transphobe, I’m an LGBTQ+ ally!”, an argument akin to the racist’s age old “I can’t be racist, I have black friends!”. You know from the responses you get to your transphobia that majority of the LGBTQ+ community are very much adamant that trans women are “real women” and that the same goes for trans men being “real men”, so don’t claim to speak for them. You cannot simultaneously care about LGBTQ+ rights and deny trans people their right to live as who they are, however veiled your sentiments around that may be. The whole gay rights movement of the 60s and 70s exist partially BECAUSE of black trans women such as Martha P Johnson if you didn’t know, and though it’s kinda common knowledge I’m doubting that you do because very little of what you tout is backed up by any kind of research. The articles you retweet, echoing the views of lesbians who also happen to be TERFs do not count-the idea that trans people existing simultaneously erases the existence of lesbians only applies to individuals such as yourself who don’t see trans women as women in the first place. That is the problem! Most people don’t have an issue with the fact that you may have a preference for certain genitalia, but I would argue that ignoring exceptional circumstances related to trauma or some other complex issue, relationships are supposed to be with the person as a whole, not their “organic” penis or vagina and it’s kind of insulting to anyone in a same sex relationship to reduce their bond to that.
Back to my point though, of course there are issues that cis women and lesbians face that need talking about, but trans people are affected by the same patriarchal system. You don’t need to go out of your way to mention that they’re not included in whichever given specific issue when there are also cis women who may not have experienced some of the things TERFs reference. You especially don’t need to act as if trans women are the reason we need to have these discussions in the first place. As I’ve said, as MANY women have said, repeatedly-they are NOT the threat here. It is disgusting to see someone I once had so much admiration for constantly punch down at a group that is already marginalised.  It’s 2020, J.K, there’s so much info out there. YOU’RE A FULLY GROWN WOMAN. There’s no justification. We get it, you had a tomboy phase. You weren’t like “other girls”. You didn’t like living under a patriarchal system. So you think you understand the mindset of people who want to transition. You think you’re not doing anything wrong by helping to slow the advancement of trans rights because well, you turned out fine? But you clearly fundamentally misunderstand what being trans is. It’s not about your likes and dislikes and having issues with the experience of being a woman (god knows we all do but I doubt anyone truly thinks for one moment that being trans would be any easier), it’s about how you think and feel at your core. It’s such a complex issue, and all the majority of trans people are asking you to do is LISTEN to them. You may be determined to live in binaries, yet the bigger picture is always more complex and fluid and it’s ever-changing, so all we can do is keep an open mind and keep wanting to know more and gather more evidence. If you’re capable of the mental gymnastics required to retcon the piece of work you wrote in the 90s to make it seem as if you were “ahead of the diversity game”, to the extent that you are now claiming Voldermort’s snake has always actually been a Korean woman and see nothing wrong with that when paired with the fact that the only Asian character you originally included was called Cho Chang, then well…I’m sure you can put your ego aside and do the groundwork to understand what trans people are trying to tell you too. You inspired a lot of children and teenagers and even adults, and got them through some very difficult times, taught that the strength of one’s character matters far more than what anyone thinks of you. You claimed you wanted to stand up for the outcasts.
Well, stand up for the outcasts. Now’s a better time than any. And once again: TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN AND TRANS MEN ARE MEN. They shouldn’t have to hear anything else.
Lauren x
[DISCLAIMER: shitty collages are mine but the background is not, let me know if you are aware of the artist so I can credit!]
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marginsofmarga · 4 years
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Great Hope Amidst the Pandemic
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As much as possible, we totally want to be in control of our lives. We take time to manage personal goals which are the big things to work for and accomplish such as receiving a diploma, getting married and having a family, starting our own business, becoming a big-time executive, or traveling the globe and such. These are essentially some of the things we want to do in life and in preparation for that, we plan. There may be small interruptions like atmospherical conditions, heavy traffic or sickness and we're used to it. But in an unexpected instance, in a snap, a pandemic called Coronavirus hit us by surprise and consumed us within months. Worst case scenario: it is a huge interruption everywhere with no specific vaccine.
Everyone has been writing on this and I don't know where to start. When I first heard about Coronavirus, there was a certain fear I felt as if my heart skipped a beat, wondering what repercussions it may create. By researching, I came to understand that it's highly contagious, attacks the respiratory system and no one is an exception especially the immuno-compromised ones. Knowing the fact that there is no cure for this disease heightened up my worries — for myself, my loved ones, my nation and the world.
The world is grippling with an invisible, deadly enemy. I had a feeling that it will be one heck of a ride. This pandemic got me feeling a roller coaster of emotions. I was not in my comfort zone. I had a lot of what-ifs. Before quarantine started, usual activities were still allowed despite having early cases in the country so I couldn’t help being paranoid at school, while commuting, while going to the mall and going outside with no choice but to be exposed to a lot of people which made me totally anxious and wonder "what if I get the virus" so, I did the best ways possible not to catch it. I sanitized every now and then, did limit interactions, took vitamins, used face mask and became extra careful when going out. After school, in the dorm where I stay, I really make sure to keep my health in check so I wash my hands, eat and sleep properly. Let me just say that living a little away from home sucks especially when there's a sudden global virus. I had to take care of everything myself. I was longing for security. I just wished I could go home.
There was a time back then when I really had a hard time sleeping that I fell asleep at 4 o'clock in the morning so it led to overthinking and unwanted panic attacks. Fears abound. Such uncertainty. How long will it last? What if I get sick since I lack sleep? What will happen next? Worries kept rippling because aside from these, there were school requirements to fufill, an overall health to watch and uncertain future to come so it was absolutely tough for me and took a toll on my mental health.
Days before ECQ was imposed, it was another day full of worries and not being in control. Classes were suspended due to more cases detected. So I packed my luggage, took a 1-hour ride to get home and finally be with my family. It felt good to walk into our doorstep but even if quarantine was imposed, oh God, my worries didn’t fade. Fear and anxiety were still present. During the first week of ECQ, I still got panic attacks and sleep issues. I was deeply overwhelmed. That’s why I willingly shared my thoughts to my go-to person, my mom. It's been a long time since I had a panic attack and that time, it was difficult to control and worse, even my sleep was affected. My mom would calm me down by helping me meditate with a bunch of essential oils and by staying present. I also talked over the phone to my Kuya who's in Manila and with other loved ones so it eased out my agony. Their words comforted me. Their company patted my back. I started to feel safe. I felt much better. I stopped dwelling on the negativity. I looked into the blessings which I'm really grateful for. I prayed to God. I consciously focused on the fact that I'm alive and I have a purpose. I knew I just had to shift my perspective. I started to heal. I started to pick up my broken pieces like a puzzle waiting to be solved.
Well, there’s always a new day. The virus is still there, but no one’s stopping me from overcoming my fears and doing what I love. Let’s face life no matter what. Since I'm really a home person, I didn't bother much about things to do in quarantine. These are the things that kept me going while staying at home: I do love being active so after getting up in the morning, I would pray and think about the things I'm grateful for. After that, I would turn the television on, go to Youtube and do my usual workout routine (a good sweat releases endorphins). I also got to bake some goodies, learn to cook new recipes and get creative with my makeup looks. I also do household chores and binge-watch my favorite shows on Netflix right after. I even do some home photoshoot so I get to play dress up. Spending time with my family 24/7 is a major blessing I experience amidst the crisis. Every night, I pray to God and talk to him sincerely. Prayers are the best antidote and His hands are my safe haven.
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These were some of the meals I cooked.
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These were some selfies I took during quarantine as I get creative with my makeup looks to avoid overthinking.
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Watching my favorite series, FRIENDS. A good laugh comes a long way.
With regards to academics, as a student and as a person, I was firm on my stand to push for mass promotion of all students. Considering the situation and ongoing threat of the global crisis, health is greatly at risk. I voiced out my opinion on social media. In my little way, I wanted to help those near around me to come to our house for internet access if ever mass promotion didn’t push through. Good thing my professors were considerate enough to pass us all even if the university didn’t go for mass promotion at first. Luckily, a new memo from our school’s administration came to a decision in benefit of the students. Mass promotion pushed through.
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This is a screenshot of my Mass Promotion post where I voiced out what I felt.
Just yesterday, I received a bad news. It felt devastating to lose one of the best professors I had. We didn’t see it coming. He suffered from severe pneumonia and tuberculosis. He was one of the people who believes in me and appreciates my passion. He had expert communication skills and a strong work ethic. Not to mention his great sense of humor that kept every discussion in class fun. I have always admired him. I will surely miss Sir Guban. Heaven gained an angel. May he rest in peace.
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This is Sir Guban, one of my best professors who just passed away.
Giving shape to time is indeed important now when the future is so shapeless. The pandemic is a whole new ballgame with new rules being created each day. We are challenged to let go of normalcy and face a new one. I know it’s hard to gain a perspective when you are in the middle of such uncertainty; to make sense of what is going on and how the future will emerge. But I have learned that I need to trust the process because eventually, it will unleash a better version of myself, a stronger one. As I began to reflect on the reality of such a virus and trying to contain it, it became clear that it says something quite wonderful about humanity. It says that we have the capacity to shift out of our comfort zones and to quite literally work together to save our lives and the lives of others. There is a tremendous hope for humanity being demonstrated around us. We can choose to walk through it lightly, with a little luggage, ready to imagine another world and ready to fight for it. Life may hit us hard countless times but I found out that it’s about finding ways to get back up again and moving forward despite the greatest obstacles.
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Always wear your face mask, sanitize, be mindful and be safe.
This is a contribution to ComCo Southeast Asia’s “Write to Ignite Blogging Project”. The initiative is a response to the need of our times, as every story comes a long way during this period of crisis. Igniting and championing the human spirit, “Write to Ignite Blog Project” aims to pull and collate powerful stories from the Philippine blogging communities to inspire the nation to rise and move forward amidst the difficult situation. This project is made possible by ComCo Southeast Asia, co-presented Eastern Communications and sponsored by Electrolux, Jobstreet and Teleperformance.
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Blood, tears and sea breeze.
Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, description of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.
This is a very dark chapter, is not graphic, but it is really sad.
Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.
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Chapter 12: Green lights
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The four adults walked inside in silence, and the paced sound of the metronome was the only noise they could hear for a moment, somehow it made the room feel darker, and cold, even when a shiny yellow sun could be guessed outside the window through the white curtains.
Hardy look away from the device, sitting right in the middle of the desk next to the Dr. Cecil Florence plaque, and a tea cup. In the middle of the office there was a comfortable couch, the one he already knew too well. It wasn't a loud sound, however he find it unnerving and was desperate to make it stop, thankfully he wouldn't have to sit next to it.
Miller sited on an empty chair, the one closer to the door, and gave an awkward smile to Doctor Florence as in "Don't read anything into this" although she was sure her stiff movements were already telling the doctor she didn't want to be there.
Alec lean against the window trying to look at the whole room at once, but he didn't rise his look too high, avoiding Cecil's curious gaze, then he noticed Y/N nervously rubbing her wrist, he remembered seeing her do it before, but somehow he hadn't pay enough attention to the fact before.
"Are you going to make me sing psalms too?" Y/N said with a smile pointing at the metronome.
"Beg your pardon?" Dr Florence said with a strained look.
"Sister Mary, she was an old noun that was in charge of the church long before Father Coats" Alec rise his look with some anger at the way she talked about Paul, and immediately reprimanded himself. "When I was little if you get in trouble she would put out one of those out and made you sing psalms to, I don't know scare the devil away or something".
"Only because the stupid cow was already too old to use the cane" Miller said laughing too. "I still have the scar on my thigh, all because I was late to sunday school" Hardy tried to hide the Oh that's what that red mark was realization out of his mind, but he was thankful that Ellie always knew how to lighten the mood in a room.
"Well, don't worry, is only to guide your train of thought" The doctor said and Y/N sat on the couch a bit more relaxed. "Before we started I want to ask you again if you are okay with the detectives being here, and with this procedure, I also must remind you that this could be emotionally draining, and that we might not always found actual memories"
"I know all that doc, it's okay, let's do it" she laid back on the couch after giving a secure wink to the woman and closed her eyes.
"Fine, then I must remind the detectives that you shall not interfere under any circumstances, in case she needs to stop I will make the procedure stop if I consider it necessary." they nodded and everything went silent again except for the device "You should focus on the sound, use it to guide your breathing, I won't tell you were to start, but I would want you to imagine yourself in a place that brings you comfort
Click... click... click
"I'm in my room, I'm getting ready to go out with Jonathan and Ash..."
"Why are you going out?" Her voice was soothing and Y/N breath was calmed, Miller thought she would fall asleep before she could say anything but then she began recalling the event like she was living it again.
Ashley had gotten a excellent week at the Deli, so she had invited me and Jonathan to celebrate, he was on a grumpy mood, not uncommon on the last few days, but he accept to come with us anyway, he even agreed to wear that ugly purple shirt her mother sent for his birthday. She was always talking about how I never let him dress like a City boy anymore.
We were only the three of us, Charlie didn't came because her mother had a cold and he had to take care of her, sometimes I wonder if he was not angry that Ashley moved out, maybe I will bring Mrs. Langford some soup tomorrow to make him company.
Ashley looked stunning, like she always did, I was never bold enough to wear that kind of short dresses, Jonathan even had to scare a couple guys away from her while they went to get us drinks.
"Only two shots" He said with that dad like look he always had for me to prevent me from doing anything fun... I guess I won't see that anymore
"You are doing great dear" The doctor said once tears star running down her cheek, "Focus on the club, were you in Broadchurch, what time it was? Do you remember the music?"
Some horrible techno music, something kids listen, most of the people around didn't look old enough to be out at 12:00, let alone drink.
The tequila was smooth, and after the second shot I stand up to dance with Ashley, but it was crowded, so I lost her after a while and went back to sit at the table, Jonathan was gone, and I ordered more shots, I don't remember two or maybe three. I started feeling dizzy, so I stand up to go to the bathroom maybe Jonathan was there, it have been long and he hasn't come back.
I saw Ashley kissing a handsome man she often do that when we were younger, that's why she left her house, their parents were too conservative, and she was fighting with Charles all the time because of it, I never actually mind that she do that, but I felt mad, because she had left me alone so I tried to walk out of the club
"Hey hey hey" a voice said behind me, it was a large man, he was wearing a bright red shirt, and he smelled like bourbon, and aftershave, he had nice eyes "Are you okay dear?" I tried to tell him I was fine and walk away but my feet were no longer responding and the green lights of the club were making my head hurt, I was not sure how was I so far from the crowd
"I can't breathe" I said and I tried to walk outside but his hand was on my wrist and he didn't let go
"Let's go outside, you need air" he said and then the cold air of the night strike me in the face, the moon was out, he was smoking, and I was trying to get some clarity, but everything was so confusing and my legs felt week...
"You smell so nice" he said with his hot breathing my neck and one of his hands on my chest, I tried to scream, to run maybe but then everything went red, I felt a stinging pain on my head, and how he lift me from the ground.
Hardy was tense angrily listening to her story, and definitely not wanting to keep listening, but he didn't interrupt her, and obviously the women in the room were not thrill to listen either, Y/N breathing was now fast and she was fully crying but she kept her eyes closed.
He took away my ring, and for a moment I was glad because I thought he was trying to rob me, but then I could hear him taking off his pants, I kept my eyes closed, I tried to scream to call Jonathan and Ashley, anyone... I thought I was going to die, I would have rather die... I thought of my parents... and I got enough strength to scream and I did, but then he hit me in the face again, and then, Please don't do that... Please stop! Stop!! Someone help me!!...
"Stop this" Ellie said loudly "Please doctor stop this"
"DS Miller, I have to ask you to remain impartial" she said with a quiet voice but she was also very affected by the story.
Hardy was not listening, by that moment Y/N voice were only screams, and she had now the same lost look she did at the Latimer's house. He approach her carefully, but she was desperately rubbing her wrist again and not letting the doctor come near her so she went to her desk to prepare something to tranquilize her.
"I lost it, my mom said I should always keep it on, and I lost it, she is going to be mad" she said with a voice that reminded him of Daze when she cut his ties in ribbons for her dolls, and he wondered if she was still not entirely awake.
"Y/N" he said desperate to act before the doctor would injected the medication, and this time he didn't hesitate and simply hold her tight against his chest "I'm here, you are at Doctor Florence's office ok?" Once she was calmed he make her look at him softly "I'm with you, you're safe" she looked thankful at him but didn't let go, and he could only hold her patting her head, trying to avoid Miller concerned look, and ignoring the fact that the unsettling feeling in his stomach was now satisfied because she was on his arms.
"I would expect that you would be following my advice from now on and not force this poor girl to more trauma in the future" the doctor said to him once Y/N exited the room to go to the restroom.
"I hope we could" Miller said defeated "But if that memory was true in any way now we have to look for a sex offender and a murderer"
"When she was waking up, she said... the way she talked..." Alec tried to elaborate
"It's an old wound, I was convinced she was over that by now, but apparently not" The doctor started. "When she was youger she was diagnosed with absence crisis, a special kind of epilepsy, and her parents made her use a bracelet in case she suffered a crisis at school or so, the idot that treat her before me had her under many medications because he couldn't determine her anxiety disorder, so I work with her to take her out of the meds, and eventually she was having a very normal life, she kept using the bracelet as comfort when she felt anxious, but she did not have crisis anymore"
"Until her parents die?" Miller asked remembering what she read in her archive.
"Precisely, they had a discussion, when she finished Uni she wanted to take a job across the sea in Paris or something like that, she gave her mother the bracelet and she went to stay with her friend Ashley on their own, and then her parents had the accident, she has always felt guilty, and since she didn't recover the bracelet she sometimes goes back to her childhood when they make her use it, is just a minor compulsion, not weird under this circumstances"
"She didn't find it?" Alec ask cautiously.
"No, apparently it was not at her parents house, I'm sorry is something else I can help you with?" She said and he change his expression immediately.
"It's fine, we will be in touch if we need anything else, we are very grateful for your help" Ellie said and the doctor went back to her office a d they walked out to wait for Y/N at the car.
"Someone is definitely liying" Miller said once they were inside and grey clouds start covering the sky. "That bracelet was on her the day the body was found" she said.
"I know, but not on any pictures from before that, so either our killer put it on her or she lied to the doctor, but that was, what 10 years ago? Is too long for something she simply forgot to tell her shrink about" a lightning illuminate the sky and the thunder following let him now that will be a rainy day. "I was hoping we'll get more from this, but now we have to listen her friend again, she didn't remember that night, only she was at home with the boyfriend angry about something."
"I can't imagine how did he found her, and she is in no way ready to answer that yet, we had to check out the club, maybe someone saw something, I hate this bloody case" She hit the wheel with her fist. "That poor girl, every time I'm more convinced she is the victim here, but it's all just confusing"
"Yeah, I mean maybe you should take today off, it was hard to hear what she said inside"
"I could say the same about you" He look at her surprised "Oh don't gave me that look, I was not going to comment on this, but you are getting too involved in this"
"Of course I'm not!" He tried to defend himself but she was not paying attention to him.
"Yes you are, and look I'm not going to say anything, but if you became partial on your judgment, for the case, and for your own good, I'm removing you from the case" she said and make a sign to Y/N to show her they were already in the car.
"I thought I was still your superior" He said quietly before she got inside.
"I'll talk to you boss then" she said with a smile, and he knew then that she was not joking, he rolled his eyes with anger because she was right, he would have done the same, and also he was concerned that maybe he was letting Y/N get under his skin making it impossible for him to remain impartial about her.
Tag list:
@allonsymexgirl @laciesaito @tf18unipups @dazedkrosupreme @timey-wimey-lovi
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binkywinky · 5 years
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hi! Comics rec anon here! to answer your question, I'm not entirely new to comics, have read a few but not enough to say I have a specific type. The first series I read was all the jessica jones comics which I really liked, also the miles morales series which i enjoyed and the spidergwen series which was cute but the art was kinda annoying lol. i also like a couple of dc ones like mister miracle. so i think i prefer a general rec from you since the comics world is so big. thanks in advance!
Got it. Hmm… let’s see. It’s probably easiest to break it down by publisher then. I’ll try to give a mix of ongoing, finished, and “classic” stories. 
Fair warning, I read a lot of comics (probably about 60 per month, and that’s not including manga), so even though this may feel like a long list, it’s short for me.
Marvel
Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man - Relatively new series, and it’s been fantastic so far. Great art, and a bit more grounded than the Amazing Spider-Man run (which is also great). Stellar art, too.
Miles Morales: Spider-Man - A little YA-ish at times, but overall enjoyable. You get to see a lot more of Miles’ personality in this one, which is always fun.
Superior Spider-Man - Because nothing is more fun than seeing a semi-reformed Otto Octavius try to be a hero.
Captain Marvel - Kelly Thompson does a phenomenal job with this series. She has a great hold of Carol’s voice. Would highly recommend Kelly Sue Deconnick and Margaret Stohl’s previous runs to give context (Captain Marvel 2012-2017, Mighty Captain Marvel, and The Life of Captain Marvel).
Jessica Jones - Not sure if you’ve read Kelly Thompson’s recent run or just Bendis’, but hers is definitely worth a read.
Avengers (2019) - actually a solid run. I would check this out if you’re more into crossover, large-scale storytelling. They’re in the middle of War of the Realms, though… so maybe wait until like August or September?
Immortal Hulk, Daredevil, and X-23 - also good. I read them off and on (not really my fave characters to read on their own, I enjoy them in ensembles), but the stories are solid.
Rogue & Gambit - mini series that I absolutely love by Kelly Thompson (she does great character work) that came out last year. Mr. & Mrs. X is a follow-up to it and also tons of fun (nearing its end as well). 
Runaways - I fell off of this when Brian K. Vaughn left, but I can say up through his run ended is well worth the read.
As far as classic stories, Infinity Gauntlet, The Dark Phoenix Saga, X-Men: Age of Apocalypse, Secret Invasion, and Secret Wars would be my first recommendations.
I would’ve recommended Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider, but maybe wait on that. It’s about to end soon and transition to just Ghost Spider (where she leaves Earth-65 and comes to Earth-616 where Peter and Miles are). Same for X-Men. I’m currently reading Uncanny, but X-Men is about to be overhauled soon. So probably hold on that front.
DC/Vertigo
Honestly, not the biggest DC fan (I lean more towards Vertigo actually), but there are a few that I enjoy.
Action Comics (starting at #1000) - I am not a Superman fan, but I enjoy this series, which says a lot. I enjoy what Bendis is doing with him in this run.
Naomi - a new series, also by Bendis, following the story of a young Black girl who is investigating the circumstances around her adoption. Don’t want to give too much away, but probably my fave DC run at the moment. And Jamal Campbell’s art is fucking gorgeous.
Dial H for Hero - it’s fun. It’s weird. Not for everyone, but maybe give it a shot.
The Flash and Batman, New 52 runs - New 52 gets shit from fans a lot, but I thought these runs were awesome. Very good story-telling.
Dark Nights: Metal event - Probably one of the best things DC did in a long time. It’s a massive event that pretty much reworked the DC universe and all the characters. Enjoyed it immensely.
Heroes in Crisis - this miniseries ended very recently. It’s a story focused on a major event that happens at Sanctuary, a rehab for superheroes suffering from mental health issues (e.g. PTSD after doing something that nearly killed them). Not your usual superhero story, which I liked.
American Carnage - very gritty story focused on a white-passing Black man who infiltrates a white supremacist organization. It’s really fucking good.
High Level - I picked this book up randomly because the cover looked cool. I’ve been reading it ever since. I would say it’s weird sci-fi/fantasy/cyberpunk adventure. A little strong on the language, but very interesting story and great artwork.
Birds of Prey - awesome series with the DC women. A little shaky sometimes, but Gail Simone does really good character work. Her run is probably the only one I’d bother reading.
Deathbed - miniseries by Vertigo that ended maybe a year ago. It’s so bizarre and hilarious and out there. I loved it.
Batwoman (J.H. Williams run) and Batwoman: Rebirth - Kate Kane, my favorite lesbian superhero. Williams did a great job in his run (and the art is to die for). Don’t read the back half, they change writers and it’s a goddamn mess. But then Marguerite Bennett (a queer woman) picked it up in Rebirth, and it got awesome again. Also, shout-out to Greg Rucka for officially making her queerness canon in 52.
Wonder Woman - Wonder Woman’s my fave of DC main characters (along with Martian Manhunter and Wally West I & II), and my favorite run for her is Greg Rucka’s. He does a surprisingly good job of writing women. The run is over at the moment, but I’d check it out. Good stuff there.
For classic stories, Kingdom Come, Watchmen, Flashpoint (precursor to New 52), and Neil Gaiman’s Sandman are some of my faves.
Image
Image is probably what I read the most. Definitely has the most diverse pool of comics to choose from.
Saga - My favorite comic series of all-time. I’ve gotten so many people to read this and they love it. It’s weird - really weird, actually - but the storytelling is phenomenal. And it’s on hiatus right now, so plenty of time to get caught up.
Ice Cream Man - This series is so fucking weird, but I love it. It’s sorta like… Tales from the Crypt? Different stories (mostly horror) that all feature this demon ice cream man.
The Weatherman - This series is such a goddamn delight. I don’t want to ruin the plot but just… yeah. Read the first issue and it just goes crazy from there.
Man-Eaters - Sort of a niche story. Basically, this takes place in a society where when women get their cycle, they turn into giant cats and maul men, so they’ve given them pills to keep them from menstruating. Sounds weird? Wait until you read it. Probably a highlight series of the year for me. 
Black Science - You might not like the art in this one, but maybe give it a shot? These scientists are trying to solve the problem of limited resources on Earth by hopping across dimensions for new ones (infinite dimensions, infinite resources). Only problem is, their machine got damaged so now they hop uncontrollably to whatever dimension it chooses for however long it decides. It’s a wild ride.
Middlewest - An interesting take on parent/child relationships and how the consequences of abuse, anger, and depression can manifest in dangerous ways. Sounds more bleak than it is - the story actually has quite a bit of humor.
Excellence - Very new series, but with a PoC lead, about PoCs, with mostly PoC creators. A story about a secret society of Black magicians and a son whose next in line to take on the mantle, and it’s pretty fucking cool. Issue 2 comes out this week - check it out!
The Walking Dead - I don’t think I have to explain this one, do I? Zombies.
Lazarus and Lazarus: Risen - Sci-fi story set in a dystopian society where the world is ruled by like 15 or so families, and they each have a Lazarus to fight for them. This is told from the perspective of the Carlyle family’s Lazarus, Forever. 
Die - If Dungeons & Dragons and Jumanji had a baby, it would be this book. Sounds weird, but once you read it, you’ll find the description to be accurate.
Anything from Brian K. Vaughn - I have yet to read something from Brian K. Vaughn that I don’t like. Saga, Paper Girls, Y: The Last Man, Runaways, Barrier… his shit’s always good.
Independents / Not Marvel, DC, or Image
Some of these are nostalgia-based, so fair warning.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BOOM Studios) - very new series that’s out. Great art. If you were a fan of the show, I think you’ll like it. It’s a re-imagining of sorts. There’s also an Angel series that just started.
Nancy Drew (Dynamite) - Listen… I could not stand Nancy Drew as a kid. Never got into it and thought it was boring as hell. But I really loved this miniseries (another Kelly Thompson run). It’s maybe 5 issues?
Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers and Go Go Power Rangers (BOOM Studios) - Honest to God, if you had told me 3 years ago one of my fave comics would be a Power Rangers one, I would have laughed in your face. Both of these series are really good and provide the continuity, nuance, and characterization the show lacked. Fan of the show or not, I’d say it’s worth checking out if you enjoy the teenage superhero genre. Also, just some really amazing art and world-building.
Anything from Jinxworld - This is Bendis’ own publishing company. He’s put out Cover, Pearl, Scarlet, and United States vs. Murder, Inc. All of them are really good.
Umbrella Academy (Dark Horse) - This is the series the Netflix show is based off of. Right now, they’re doing Hotel Oblivion in the comics, but start with Apocalypse Suite and Dallas.
So, there you go anon. There are FAR more I would recommend, but I tried to give a good range of books for you to choose from without (hopefully) overwhelming you. And if you have any questions, I’m more than happy to talk about any of them.
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old-school-butch · 6 years
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Suicide risks and data
I can’t seem to post this in the replies, so I made a separate post in response to @transgun’s discussion on suicide risk for post-op trans people. My apologies for the delay, I’ve not been AWOL because I ‘want trans people to die’ and one lovely anon informed me, but because I’ve been too busy to give these information the attention it deserves.
As a general framework for my perspective, I think suicide is complicated. Teenagers, lesbians, dentists, middle-aged men, frail seniors - all have high rates of suicide, yet are very different people. It takes multiple sources and analysis to really pin down the causes and assess the most effective treatment and prevention strategies.
Additionally, I want to clarify that I believe people are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and that people should not face undue barriers to medical interventions that will ease their distress.
Generally speaking, people are resilient. We adapt to all kind of terrible decisions especially when those decisions are permanent. It’s a well known trick of human nature that helps us get on with our lives. If you know you’re stuck with something, you’re very motivated to feel positively about it, and if you need evidence about this just ask someone if they regret getting a tattoo.
Anyway, I’d imagine that most people would adapt to ineffective or even psychologically harmful surgical choices EXCEPT the group of people who suffer from dysphoria. This is a group that, by definition, haven’t gotten used to the bodies they were born with, much less their potential plastic surgery mistakes. That seems to me to be a high risk proposition, and in the face of trauma, dysmorphia, autism, depression, social conflict and a host of other mental health challenges that accompany most gender clinic patients, I’m concerned that entirely the wrong approach is being employed.
So, my question is whether physical transition successfully reduces suicide risk over the long-term. Significantly, the sources you’ve given me are whether ‘mental health’ is improved with transition. Fundamentally, we are asking different questions. If that’s all you need to know, you can save yourself lots of reading and stop here.
I’m being picky about the question for a reason. Read this comprehensive review of suicide among LGBT population (the article says LGBT but throws in the T rather randomly since all earlier research is LGB only). Despite 4 decades of self-reported data, one of the “knowledge gaps” identified is “Among the most pressing questions for future research is whether LGBT people are over-represented among suicide deaths, and if so, why” If you read the details of the many different studies in this review, you really understand how confusing it is to pin down. There are contradictory and counter-intuitive results. For example, some researchers found that loneliness and social isolation were significant factors - makes sense - except that married gay men still have significantly higher rates of suicide. When you look more closely, the social factors were significant in youths, so maybe there’s a crisis period of coming out? Well no, the elevated risk remained high across all age groups for LGBs. How do we make sense of this?
Maybe it’s the concurrent high rates of substance abuse, mood and anxiety disorders that are often noted  (Bostwick et al., 2010; Cochran, Mays, & Sullivan, 2003; Cochran, Mays, Alegria, et al., 2007; Conron, Mimiaga, & Landers, 2010; Hughes, Szalacha, & McNair, 2010; Jorm, Korten, Rodgers, Jacomb, & Christensen, 2002; McCabe, Hughes, Bostwick, West, & Boyd, 2009). That would be a reasonable conclusion until some researchers discovered that women who only have female partners have lower rates of every mental disorder they studied than even in the general population  (Bostwick et al., 2010). So when other studies find elevated rates of substance abuse in lesbian and bisexual women, it’s possible that most of that is actually concentrated in the bisexual women, or at least, women who date men  (King et al., 2008). The evidence from the Danish registries (Mathy, Cochran, et al., 2009) suggest significantly higher suicide rates among anyone who has a history of a domestic partnerships with men - which maybe says more about men than the people who date them.
Maybe ‘coming out’ age is a factor. There is some evidence that suicide attempts are broadly distributed among ages in LGB populations than the general population (where it’s concentrated in youth). (D'Augelli, Grossman, Hershberger, & O'Connell, 2001). It may be more closely linked to the ages at which lesbian women (Hughes, 2003) and gay men (Paul et al., 2002) recognize and disclose their sexual orientation to others than to chronological age.  Conversely, suicide attempts appear to occur more frequently among transgender adolescents and young adults than among older age groups (Xavier et al., 2007). Transgender youth have reported parental rejection to be a particular stressor (Grossman & D'Augelli, 2008). Are we misdirecting our efforts to a medical process rather than focusing on repairing the parental and peer relationships a young trans person faces during the initial ‘coming out’ phase? Additionally, how do we assess the long-term impact of any suicide prevention strategies since some natural reduction in suicide rate may occur with aging?
Back to the question of whether transition reduces suicide rates. There are many questions that need to be answered that I would hope for in a study. I don’t want to pick apart each study, it’s petty to do so since no study can answer every question, but the body of evidence should give a comprehensive and generally congruent set of answers. Answering my question would involve some core data:
1. How high is the suicide rate in the first place? Observed baseline suicide rates need to be compared to post-op observed suicide rates. Strictly speaking, any other data is of lesser value. Self-reported suicide attempts have been consistently reported by LGB populations over 4 decades of research, (DuRant, Krowchuk, & Sinal, 1998; Falkner & Cranston, 1998; Garofalo, Wolf, Kessel, et al., 1998; Garofalo, Wolf, Winssow, et al., 1999; Remafedi, 2002; Russell & Joyner, 2001), yet studies that analysed data of actual suicides, trying to find out their sexual orientation after the fact, found no evidence of disproportionate rates of suicide. (Rich, Fowler, Young, & Blenkush, 1986), (Shaffer, Fisher, Hicks, Parides, & Gould, 1995) and (Renaud, Berlim, Begolli, McGirr, & Turecki, 2010). Similarly, despite consistent self-reports of alarmingly high suicide attempts in trans populations, the Tavistock clinic reports its actual suicide rate of 1% - which is indeed high for the general population, but average for a clinical population seeking mental health treatment.
There’s an significant problem evident here. If you begin in the clinic, all the data that follows is limited to this population. There’s no comparable population found ‘in the wild’ where we can compare outcomes with the general public. A medical process necessitates medical intervention, making this data fundamentally different than studying a LGB population that doesn’t need or want medical intervention.
There’s no shortage of evidence of post-clinical risks for trans people. One clinical study reported a disproportionate number of suicide deaths among Dutch transsexual women and men receiving hormone therapy, compared to the general population (van Kesteren et al., 1997). Another international review of studies that followed over 2,000 persons in 13 countries who had undergone gender reassignment surgery identified 16 possible suicide deaths (Pfäfflin & Junge, 1998). That’s a rate of  800 suicides for every 100,000 post-surgery transsexuals. (by contrast, the suicide rate for the overall U.S. population is 11.5 suicides per 100,000 people). But what would it have been without intervention? It’s from 1998, is it relevant? Do trans people who don’t seek medical help do better or worse?
2. When we assess medical transition’s effectiveness, what are we comparing it to? Are we using a control group or placebo or double-blind studies? Are we comparing it to an alternative therapy? To ‘watchful waiting?’ To decide what’s best, what options are on the table?
3. How long is the follow-up timeline? Again, we need to know the original risk pattern to know if the intervention has been successful. A short-term reduction in risk that is erased in 5 years is a temporary benefit for a permanent procedure.
4. Who is a candidate for transition? This is a key issue with many older studies where the pre-op process was rigid and rigorous and the transsexual population significantly different than the one today. How can we compare whether an effective or ineffective outcome of a ‘sex change’ on a group of transsexual gay men in 1975 is related to decisions made to have hormone-only treatment on a ‘transmasculine’ teenage female in 2018? Is a non-op trans person likely to suffer increased suicide risk by not transitioning? Should transition be recommended or even required for trans patients, whether they request it or not?
5. Who is trans? I mean, if we’re going to study the effectivenes of a procedure on a population, we need to define both the procedure and the population. Looking at long-term data, this is a huge problem. For example, if you read Mathy, 2002b, you’ll notice that transgender respondents had a higher rate of reported suicide attempts than any group except homosexual females.
You can probably guess my suspicion than in 2018, a large portion of those gender non-conforming homosexual females now identify as non-binary, transmasculine etc. Female transsexuals were very rare in the 1970s, none of the early data addresses the risks to this population, who now make up 2/3 of gender clinic patients. (Clements-Nolle, Marx, Guzman, & Katz, 2001) found that 65% of female-to-male respondents identified as ‘gay, lesbian, or bisexual’. It’s hard to tell if that even means same-sex attracted, but I’m going to guess it does. When we say we are treating trans people, or lesbians, or lesbian trans people, who are we actually talking about when we compare data over time?
To address the studies you’ve cited, the first (2014) notes that “A marked reduction in psychopathology occurs during the process of sex reassignment therapy” which is promising but doesn’t meet any of these 3 criteria above. It doesn’t satisfy me, although it’s fine if it satisfies you.
The 2015 study is very promising and has a good timespan. However, it doesn’t have the numbers to tease out which factors affected improved mental health (subjects socially transitioned, had surgery, got counselling, resolved conflicts with their families etc over the course of time), making it difficult to pinpoint physical treatment as a cause of mental health improvement. Also, it’s a self-report study... not suicide data.
The next 4 studies show improvement on a variety of health scales but, again, that may answer your questions but it doesn’t answer mine.
I do want to address the study on regret. Very few detransitioners or desisters would meet the criteria of this study. Making a ‘regret application’ involved taking the step to reverse your legal ID to your original sex. Post surgery, regardless of how you felt about the outcome, few people would be motivated to pursue such an action. It’s interesting but not a good representation of the concept of regret. One of the studies from the ‘70 studies on transition’  you linked to notes “None of the 61 homosexual females or 36 homosexual males consciously regretted surgery, compared to 4 of the 14 heterosexual males: a significant difference.” More than anything, this highlights the need to find specific answers for specific questions.
Lastly, I’m just annoyed with Dhejne at this point. It’s like she’s vagueposting on her own damn research, but that’s not the same as publishing a peer-reviewed study. The phrasing about the later cohort’s suicide risk not being statistically significant could mean a lot of things. It could be a smaller cohort, studied over a shorter time span when the rise in suicide risk increased over time. Who knows? It’s not clear. The main caveat to notice in her original publication is that it was not intended to assess whether transition was effective at treating dysphoria, to which I say... why the hell not? She’s head of a gender clinic - doesn’t she want to know? And yet the conclusion in the paper is that the data “suggest that sex reassignment, although alleviating gender dysphoria, may not suffice as treatment for transsexualism”, which is.. tepid? Unclear? Just, why? But okay, let’s ignore absolutely all of her data, statements and so on until she publishes otherwise, or retracts her current statements, or clarifies her data. It’s not the only or best study on this population, and doesn’t deserve the attention it gets.
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newstfionline · 3 years
Text
Saturday, March 12, 2022
Inflation Rises Again (1440) US inflation rose 7.9% during the 12-month period ending in February, the largest such increase in more than four decades. Higher inflation means consumers can buy fewer goods with each dollar they spend. February’s increase is the highest since 1982, when inflation rose almost 8.4% on the heels of a period characterized by slow economic growth, high unemployment, and rising prices.
Americans are besieged by stress, poll finds (NBC News) Financial woes, coupled with a barrage of horrifying scenes from Ukraine as Russia continues its invasion, have pushed a majority of Americans to unprecedented levels of stress, according to a new report from the American Psychological Association. The association’s annual “Stress in America” poll, published Thursday, found that U.S. adults—already weary from two years of the Covid-19 pandemic—are now overwhelmingly troubled by inflation and the war in Ukraine. According to the results, 87 percent of those surveyed cited rising costs of everyday items, such as groceries and gas, as a “significant source of stress.” The same high percentage said their mental health was greatly affected by what has felt like a “constant stream of crises without a break over the last two years.” And 84 percent said the Russian invasion of Ukraine is “terrifying to watch.”
In an about-face, liberal US cities target homeless camps (AP) Makeshift shelters abut busy roadways, tent cities line sidewalks, tarps cover broken-down cars, and sleeping bags are tucked in storefront doorways. The reality of the homelessness crisis in Oregon’s largest city can’t be denied. “I would be an idiot to sit here and tell you that things are better today than they were five years ago with regard to homelessness,” Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler said recently. Wheeler has now used emergency powers to ban camping along certain roadways and says homelessness is the “most important issue facing our community, bar none.” Increasingly in liberal cities across the country—where people living in tents in public spaces have long been tolerated—leaders are removing encampments and pushing other strict measures to address homelessness that would have been unheard of a few years ago. Donald H. Whitehead Jr., executive director of the National Coalition for the Homeless, said at least 65 U.S. cities are criminalizing or sweeping encampments.
Chile’s president sworn in (Foreign Policy) Gabriel Boric will be sworn in today as Chilean president, assuming power from Sebastien Pinera after the left-wing activist defeated the right-wing Jose Antonia Kast in December elections. The 36-year-old Boric is set to become not only Chile’s youngest-ever president, but will also become the world’s second youngest head of state (the title is currently held by 27-year-old Giacomo Simoncini, one of San Marino’s captains regent).
Russia’s widening war (NYT) Missiles hit well behind Ukrainian lines today, striking three cities that until now had not sustained major attacks. The assault on Dnipro, in central Ukraine, and on Lutsk and Ivano-Frankivsk, in the west, suggested that Russia was widening its attacks on cities as the invasion entered its third week. The primary target for Russia remains the capital, Kyiv. Russian forces continued to pummel Mariupol in the south. Ukrainian officials said the death toll in that city had reached 1,552, but an adviser to the city’s mayor warned that constant bombing had made it impossible to count the dead. The chief economic adviser to Ukraine’s government, Oleg Ustenko, estimated that his country had already suffered $100 billion in damage since the invasion began Feb. 24. “The situation is a disaster that is really much deeper than somebody can imagine,” Mr. Ustenko said at a Peterson Institute for International Economics virtual event.
Putin says Russia to use Middle East volunteer fighters against Ukraine (Reuters) Russian President Vladimir Putin gave the green light on Friday for up to 16,000 volunteers from the Middle East to be deployed alongside Russian-backed rebels to fight in Ukraine. The move, just over two weeks since Putin ordered the invasion, allows Russia to deploy battle-hardened mercenaries from conflicts such as Syria without risking additional Russian military casualties. At a meeting of Russia’s Security Council, Defence Minister Sergei Shoigu said there were 16,000 volunteers in the Middle East who were ready to come to fight alongside Russian-backed forces in the breakaway Donbass region of eastern Ukraine. Shoigu said Western arms were flowing into Ukraine in an “absolutely uncontrolled” way and that the Russian military planned to strengthen its Western border after what he said was a build up of Western military units on Russia’s border.
Agencies say 2.5 million people flee Ukraine (AP) The International Organization for Migration says 2.5 million people have fled Ukraine since Russia invaded more than two weeks ago. He said that more than 1.5 million refugees have gone to neighboring Poland and that some 116,000 of the refugees are “third-country nationals,” not Ukrainians. The U.N. high commissioner for refugees, Filippo Grandi, also gave the 2.5 million total for refugees and said his agency estimates that about two million people are displaced inside Ukraine as well.
Warsaw overwhelmed as it becomes key refugee destination (AP) Warsaw’s mayor is appealing for international help as the city becomes overwhelmed by refugees, with more than a tenth of all those fleeing the war in Ukraine arriving in the Polish capital. Some seek to wait out the war or settle in the city, while others merely use Warsaw as a transit point to head further west, turning its train stations into crowded hubs where people are camping out on floors. “We are dealing with the greatest migration crisis in the history of Europe since World War II. ... The situation is getting more and more difficult every day,” Mayor Rafal Trzaskowski said, adding that “the greatest challenge is still ahead of us.” The welcome Warsaw has given Ukrainians as the neighboring nation struggles to resist Russia’s invasion is wholehearted. Across the city, people have mobilized to help.
How the Ukraine war is lurching the globe toward a new food crisis (Washington Post) Russia’s invasion of one of the world’s leading breadbaskets—Ukraine—is deepening the worst surge in global food prices since the Great Recession, raising the specter that Moscow’s war could spark crisis-level hikes, inflame the scourge of world hunger and spark political turmoil far from the conflict zone. Around the world, food prices were already rising fast amid supply chain disruptions and pandemic-era inflation. But some prices—especially wheat, a basic source of sustenance in many countries—have shot through the roof because of the Ukraine crisis. Together, Ukraine and Russia account for nearly 30 percent of wheat, 17 percent of corn and over half of sunflower seed oil exports. The conflict-induced bottlenecks at Black Sea ports—where cargo vessels have been struck by Russian rockets—and other complications of war have slammed Ukrainian exports. A new report by the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (FAO) due out Friday estimates food and feed prices could surge 7 percent to 22 percent above already elevated levels due to the war. Grains are global commodities, and the price for flour, bread and other foods is set to hike across the globe, including in the United States. But the countries most impacted are likely to be those most heavily dependent on Ukrainian and Russian wheat—including Egypt, Turkey, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Eritrea, Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia, Lebanon and Somalia. Experts have warned that higher food prices could trigger global unrest. During the 2007-2008 crisis, riots broke out from Haiti to Bangladesh. The social uprisings of the Arab Spring also took place against a backdrop of public angst over the high cost of food.
Russia built an economy like a fortress but the pain is real (AP) Western sanctions are dealing a severe blow to Russia’s economy. Russia is now the most-sanctioned country in the world, with roughly 3,000 restrictions levied by various countries since the beginning of the war. The ruble is plunging, foreign businesses are fleeing and sharply higher prices are in the offing. Familiar products may disappear from stores, and middle-class achievements like foreign vacations are in doubt. Beyond the short-term pain, Russia’s economy will likely see a deepening of the stagnation that started to set in long before the invasion of Ukraine. But a total collapse is unlikely, several economists say. Despite the punishing financial sanctions, Russia has built “an economy that’s geared for conflict,” said Richard Connolly, an expert on the Russian economy at the Royal United Services Institute in Britain. Although sanctions have frozen a large portion of Russia’s foreign currency reserves, state finances are in good shape with low debt. When the government does need to borrow, its creditors are mostly domestic banks, not foreign investors who could abandon it in a crisis.
China locks down city of 9 million amid new spike in cases (AP) China on Friday ordered a lockdown of the 9 million residents of the northeastern city of Changchun amid a new spike in COVID-19 cases in the area attributed to the highly contagious omicron variant. Residents are required to remain home, with one family member permitted to venture out to buy food and other necessities every two days. All residents must undergo three rounds of mass testing, while non-essential businesses have been closed and transport links suspended.
11 years later, fate of Fukushima reactor cleanup uncertain (AP) Eleven years after the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant was ravaged by a meltdown following a massive earthquake and tsunami, the plant now looks like a sprawling construction site. Most of the radioactive debris blasted by the hydrogen explosions has been cleared and the torn buildings have been fixed. Despite the progress, massive amounts of radioactive melted fuel remain inside of the reactors. There’s worry about the fuel because so much about its condition is still unknown, even to officials in charge of the cleanup. Nearly 900 tons of melted nuclear fuel remain inside the three damaged reactors, and its removal is an unprecedented challenge involving 10 times the amount of damaged fuel removed in the Three Mile Island cleanup following its 1979 partial core melt. The challenge of removing melted fuel from the reactors is so daunting that some experts now say that setting a completion target is impossible, especially as officials still don’t have any idea about where to store the waste.
Jellyfish vs. nuclear subs (Guardian) The humble jellyfish, the bane of nuclear plants the world over, looks set to torpedo Brisbane’s hopes of becoming home to Australia’s future nuclear submarine fleet over fears that the invertebrate could clog the expensively-assembled vessels. As the Guardian reports, the city is one of three potential bases under consideration by the Australian government, a location marine biologist Lisa-ann Gershwin has warned as “close to the absolute worst place” for nuclear submarines to dock, given the risk posed by the invertebrates who frequently bloom nearby and tend to clog cooling shafts. The local jellyfish have already caused trouble in Brisbane before, prompting an emergency reactor shutdown of the nuclear-powered U.S.S. Ronald Reagan aircraft carrier in 2006 when over 1,700 pounds of the creatures were sucked into the ship’s inner workings.
Don’t complain about changing the clocks this weekend. Some people deal with time changes every day. (WSJ) Americans living in time-zone borderlands constantly have to do mental math and override their time-zone-sensitive gadgets—or risk running late or arriving too early. Some business operators say the shift has created challenges in places where time-zone lines bisect residential and commercial areas. There are four time zones in the continental U.S., while Alaska, Hawaii and U.S. territories are spread across five others. States such as Indiana, South Dakota, Florida, Michigan and Texas each span two. It used to be worse; before the U.S. adopted a system of five time zones in 1918, North America had over 144 local times, sometimes leading to railroad collisions.
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xtruss · 3 years
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We Don’t Recognise Our Own City: The Bastard Child of the United States Zionist Cunt Israeli Barrage Redraws the Map of Gaza
A ceasefire is finally in force, but traumatised families have little hope as they recall collapsing buildings and deaths of loved ones
— Oliver Holmes and Hazem Balousha in Gaza City | Saturday, 22 May 2021
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As they emerge from hiding, people living in Gaza City have had to adapt their memories. So deformed is this small place on the coast that a mental map of its roads and landmarks from two weeks ago is largely useless today. Shortcuts to avoid traffic may no longer work, as craters dot back streets and rubble blocks roads. Locally famous high-rises no longer exist.
Eleven days of bombardment have buckled the city. Air attacks shook the ground so violently that some bomb sites appear as if buildings have been pulled into the earth rather than hit from above.
On one street, the bent walls of a kindergarten descend downwards at an angle until they disappear completely.
Israel’s latest war with Hamas, which ended in a ceasefire on Friday, killed 248 Palestinians, including 66 children as well as scores of fighters, and left more than 1,900 wounded in Gaza.
In Israel, 12 people, including one soldier and two children, were killed by militants firing rockets, mortars and anti-tank missiles. The country’s prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, said his forces had done “everything possible” to keep their own citizens safe, but also to make sure Palestinian civilians were not in harm’s way.
Statements like those would lead to scoffs along al-Wehda Street, a main road in the centre of Gaza City. The boulevard has been rocked by several strikes during the past week, including the deadliest single attack of the latest round, which killed 42 people.
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A Palestinian man sells balloons in front of the destroyed al-Shuruq building. Photograph: Mahmud Hams/AFP/Getty Images
At one end of al-Wehda, Gaza’s largest medical facility, Shifa hospital, contains many who survived.
Amjed Murtaja, 40, lay in a hospital bed, his legs dotted with scratches. He was in his fourth-floor rented apartment on al-Wehda when he said a missile hit his balcony. “The building was shaking. My only thought was to get to my wife and son,” he said. Murtaja ran to the other room just in time to embrace his family before a second strike hit, causing the entire structure to collapse. “We fell together,” he said. When they landed, Murtaja had his arms pinned, although his wife, Suzan, and his two-year-old boy were next to him.
As he spoke of being trapped, other patients, visitors and a hospital cleaner stopped what they were doing and listened intently. Murtaja and his wife, who doctors would later confirm had broken her back, would be trapped for four hours until neighbours and rescuers dug down and dragged them out.
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In the same strike, several members of the al-Auf family, including one of Gaza’s most prominent doctors who worked as the head of Shifa’s coronavirus response, would be pulled out dead. Murtaja said that while he was trapped, he could hear neighbours from inside other parts of the debris. “They were screaming,” he said.
His wife was now in the same hospital, but two floors down in a women’s ward. A drip fed liquid into her hand, and a plastic water bottle and yoghurt pot sat on a shelf by her bed. Under heavy pain killers, her eyes rolled as she spoke. Suzan Murtaja, 36, said that when the building fell in on itself, she was so disorientated that she first thought only a cupboard had fallen on them. But, with one free arm, she was able to reach her phone. “I turned on the phone light and we realised the building had collapsed.”
For those four hours, even before she knew they would be found and would live, she tried to calm her son to sleep, but bits of rubble and dust kept falling and waking him up.
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Palestinians run from sound grenades thrown by Israeli police in front of the Dome of the Rock in the al-Aqsa mosque complex in Jerusalem, on 21 May. Photograph: Mahmoud Illean/AP
Israel said the aim of its attack on al-Wehda last Sunday was to destroy an extensive network of tunnels it called the “Metro”. The military said it had not intended to make the building collapse.
What Hamas was hiding in those underground passageways, if they existed, is unclear. Al-Wehda is deep within the city and far from the frontier with Israel.
Nearly a week after the attack, large mounds of concrete still lined the road. A seven-storey building that survived stood at an ominous angle, as men quickly removed wooden furniture from the ground floor. Further up al-Wehda stood a giant pile of debris that once housed the Murtajas’ apartment. Amid the dust were twisted plastic water tanks, a washing liquid bottle, pillows and a frying pan. All that remained was a three-storey-high internal staircase at the back. A sign has been erected with the names of the dead and “Al-Wehda massacre” written on it in Arabic.
A yellow taxi pulled up, and a woman got out with her teenage son. She said her name was Zakia Abu Dayer, 44, and she lived in the next building. It was the first time she had been back, she said, to collect some belongings.
On the night of the bombing, as the Murtajas were trapped under the rubble, Abu Dayer, her husband and her son moved further up the street to a relative’s home. They thought they would be more secure there as it was on the ground floor, possibly allowing them to rush outside quickly.
But two days later, she and other family members were eating rice and lentils outside when another strike hit. “There is no safe space,” she said, her leg still wrapped in bandages. “The whole place went black.”
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People in Beit Hanoun return to their homes after the ceasefire. Photograph: Anadolu Agency/Getty Images (Left). Palestinians inspect the damage of their destroyed homes in Beit Hanoun following a ceasefire after an 11-day war between Gaza’s Hamas rulers and Israel. Photograph: Khalil Hamra/AP (Right).
Abu Dayer remembers smoke and then rushing water as the tanks on the building above exploded in the blast. Her husband, who was a few metres away from her, was killed after shrapnel hit his head. An 11-year-old relative was also killed.
The building that was hit still stands, although its windows were blown out. The ground floor was a bank with two ATMs covered in dust. A dental clinic sits on the first floor. Several local charities operated there. Higher up, a box with “US AID” written on it is visible through the smashed glass.
Across the road stands the damaged shell of another building. “It’s a very old primary health clinic, maybe the oldest in Gaza,” said Abdel-Latif al-Hajj, director-general of international cooperation at the ministry of health in Gaza, who stood by the gate.
At first glance, the clinic appears to have been bombed, with large pockmarks across its walls and football-sized bits of debris covering the ground. However, it was not hit directly. Instead, when the Israeli missile struck the building across the road, it ripped off the top two floors, which then slammed into the clinic.
‘It will not be the last war’: Palestinians and Israelis reflect on Gaza ceasefire
Al-Hajj said the building was Gaza’s main testing centre for Covid. Staff had been working inside during the explosion, and several were wounded. Gaza was already suffering a dangerous spread in infections, and another outbreak is expected, he said.
“Anyone can imagine what will happen if we stop doing tests,” said al-Hajj. In addition, the war had meant thousands of displaced people were now crowded together, which could speed up transmission.
According to the United Nations, the violence on Gaza has destroyed nearly 260 buildings. Fifty-three schools, six hospitals and 11 primary healthcare centres have been damaged. Nearly 80,000 people were internally displaced, and 10 times that number have little access to piped water. As well as Israeli strikes, armed groups have launched faulty rockets that landed short, with reports of extensive damage and even fatalities within Gaza.
The strip’s two million inhabitants already live inside what they call the “world’s largest prison”, with more than 50% unemployment, a collapsed healthcare system, sometimes-poisonous water, and relentless power cuts.
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Palestinians enjoy the beach as the ceasefire came into effect on 21 May in Gaza City. Photograph: Fatima Shbair/Getty Images
Israel and Egypt, Gaza’s other neighbour, have maintained a crippling blockade, locals say “siege”, for 14 years. Israel, which recalled its forces occupying the area in 2005, says the restrictions are for its security. But the UN says the blockade constitutes collective punishment.
At the damaged clinic on al-Wehda Street on Saturday, Lynn Hastings, the UN’s deputy special coordinator for the Middle East peace process, had come to assess the impact.
Flanked by aides and bodyguards, she was asked by a television reporter if this round of violence might, unlike the previous three wars, spur significant political change.
“Everyone is saying it should not be business as usual,” she responded. “You know what the definition of insanity is,” she added rhetorically. She was referring to a quote usually attributed to Einstein, that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
Palestinians return to devastated homes as UN calls for Gaza dialogue
Friday’s ceasefire brought some Palestinians and Israelis hope that the violence would spur a renewed push to resolve the crisis. Hamas kicked off this round of fighting when it launched rockets at Jerusalem on 10 May, but it followed weeks of growing frustrations over the treatment of Palestinians by Israel, which has for decades dictated how millions live their lives.
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Gaza! Palestinians sit in a makeshift tent amid the rubble of their houses which were destroyed by Israeli airstrikes.
The head of Oxfam in Israel and the Palestinian territories, Shane Stevenson, said the truce should not be celebrated as a solution. Israel should be held to account “for the atrocities it has committed over the last 12 days”, as should armed factions in Gaza for their indiscriminate targeting of Israeli towns and cities.
The truce, he added, “will not change the illegal occupation and denial of human rights which Palestinians are subjected to daily. This inhumane and brutal status quo has to change, once and for all.”
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New York, US! A Jewish boy holding a Palestine flag takes part in a protest in support of Palestinians in the Queens borough.
Lying in Shifa hospital, Amjed Murtaja had less ambitious reasons to be happy. Despite his exhaustion and injures, he had stayed up late on Thursday as rumours of a ceasefire circulated. He had been waiting for the ceasefire announcement, he said, “because I don’t want to lose the rest of my family”.
— The Guardian USA
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ulrichfoester · 3 years
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Building Tolerance to Find Comfort in Discomfort
“To stay with that shakiness—to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge—that is the path of true awakening.” 
-Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart
It has been a challenging time. Quarantine, necessary civil unrest, loss of norms, loneliness, lack of alone time, and financial concerns are just a few examples of the things we’ve  scrambled to cope with this year. We’re rattled. This is a once-in-a-century crisis that’s provided us with as much discomfort as we usually encounter in a few decades. You’ve likely found yourself, at one time or another, pinned against the wall by a pandemic moment. This sticky spot – this window into our unfinished business – is our chance, our opportunity, to know more. This place we hate is where we can heal and begin to befriend ourselves when we need it most. We can practice finding comfort in the discomfort.
This blog will explore the biological and cultural reasons we tend to stay away from difficult emotions. It will also offer an exercise that enables us to drop into our experience just when we want to flee.
LEARN MORE: myTherapyNYC clinicians address how to manage pandemic stress.
The biology of avoidance
“Social rejection and grief have effects visible in the brain’s anterior cingulate cortex, which is also involved in physical pain, and both types of pain affect the heart and hormonal systems. This is why we say ’it hurts’  when we feel rejected or unloved.” 
-Kenny Lomas, Science Focus
Have you ever stopped in the middle of a psychologically difficult moment to notice what’s going on in your body? Most of us are aware when we dislike what’s happening, but our frantic minds usually take center stage. Because unwanted emotional moments frazzle us, we’re distracted from messages coming from our bodies. These messages often cause us to run without realizing it. Imaging has shown our brains look similar when we’re experiencing bodily and psychological pain.
Alan Fogel, professor of psychology at the University of Utah, points this out in the article “Emotional and Physical Pain Activate Similar Brain Regions.” He explains that a person shown a picture of a partner they recently broke up with had activity in the same part of their brain as if they had been physically harmed. Mind and body pain are so neurologically entwined, Fogel reported, that patients who suffered psychologically negative events were able to diminish their hurt feelings with Acetaminophen. It turns out our evolutionarily-efficient bodies use the same neural system to notice physical and psychological stimuli. 
Handling your body’s response to stress
Knowing that rejection or loneliness can feel as alarming as an actual gut-punch, our conscious or unconscious desire to wiggle away from life’s less desirable moments makes perfect sense. All living things avoid pain.
In order to be effective amidst our brain’s aversion-carnival, it is usually helpful to slow down when we get a dose of unease. Doing so enables us to notice what’s actually going on. This helps us make good use of the information that’s waiting for us underneath our resistance. Of course, when we’re already feeling miserable, it can feel counterintuitive to say, “I’m in agony, I’d love to slow down and get closer to this seemingly unbearable experience.” You may find, however, after knowing the pleasure of not running, and finally riding the wave of your emotional encounter to its calm end, that your “instincts” change.
READ MORE: Pema Chodron on our emotional reaction to life’s unknowns.
Cultural emotion-phobia
“Emotion-phobia dissociates us from the energies of these emotions and tells us they are untrustworthy, dangerous and destructive. Like other traits our culture distrusts and devalues – vulnerability, for instance, and dependence – emotionality is associated with weakness, women, and children. We tend to regard these painful emotions as signs of psychological fragility, mental disorder, or spiritual defect. We suppress, intellectualize, judge or deny them.” 
-Miriam Greenspan, “The Wisdom of Dark Emotions”
Our society is built upon the concept of our unbridled agency. The “American Dream” purports that, with willpower, the sky’s the limit. Movies, music, social media, and advertising promises us that if we just try hard enough (and buy this product), we will live a life entirely on our terms; We won’t age, lose our health, or feel sorrow. These messages are not all bad. Being tuned into our agency can be very helpful. But hard power alone will not deliver wellbeing. Effectiveness looks different in different circumstances.
To be truly constructive we need to understand that a little receptivity and acceptance of the moment can deliver significantly better results than avoiding, fighting, or denying an experience. A culture that teaches you to avoid discomfort is not giving you the tools you need for the truth of life. Despite what the zeitgeist tells us, there are a few things we simply can’t elude in life; One of those is our inner world. So, having a plan for how to find comfort in discomfort, and finally beginning an effective conversation with our own minds can be a huge relief.
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Let’s imagine…
Let’s imagine you’re back in the middle of quarantine homeschooling your six-year-old. You haven’t been outside in ten days, you lack the Master’s in Education necessary to teach common core math, and you want to throw your computer against the wall. Or you’re living alone in a studio, you haven’t been outside in ten days, you haven’t touched another human being in months and the loneliness may or may not remind you of how alone you felt as a child. Right in the moment of feeling terrible, whether you’re surrounded by children, a roommate, a partner, or your plants:
An exercise
Close your eyes and slow your mind by breathing deeply.
Get curious about what’s happening in your body. Where are you feeling discomfort? What is the nature of the sensation? Is it sticky? Does it have a color? If you could assign it a name would it be “shame” or “grief” or “anxiety”? What else might it be? It doesn’t have to make sense. Free-associate.
Ask yourself if you’ve felt this before? When was the first time you felt it?
If the first time you felt this was when you were eleven, try to imagine that eleven-year-old you in your mind.
Begin to talk with your eleven-year-old self (this is merely a way of interfacing with your mind so you can parse out your hidden emotional world). Ask questions like, “why are you worried/ashamed/shut down?” Or, “what do you need?” Or, “what would you like to tell me?”
Listen and be present to the emotional experience this elicits by staying with your body. Breathe deeply and feel the sensations of the emotion.
If the eleven-year-old you has a fantasy, allow your mind to play it out. Maybe that part wants to be held or to yell at someone. It’s only in your mind, so really indulge. Follow your fantasy through, until something inside you shifts.
If your body delivered a sense of settling or relief, honor it, however long it graced you with its presence. That moment is a “muscle” that you can grow by exercising it. The “muscle” is you staying with yourself when you’re vulnerable. It’s also you having the nerve to be present to the full range of your life’s experience. Beyond that, it’s you memorizing the payoff of allowing your emotions to flow naturally.  
LEARN MORE about self-care.
On being mammals
“When, just as the soil tarnishes with weed,
The sturdy seedling with arched body comes
Shouldering its way and shedding the earth crumbs.” 
-Robert Frost, “Putting in the Seed”
As much as we think, achieve, build, and work to differentiate ourselves from the grass and dirt and bugs and apes, we are nature. Mammals, to be exact, and mammals feel as a means of survival. Diana Fosha, creator of the experiential therapeutic modality AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy) explains, “each categorical emotion prepares the body for a different kind of response. Emotions are in essence impulses to act, the instant plans that evolution has instilled in us.” So those times that feel dark, dully-negative, gnawing, or searing aren’t indications of some kind of failure. They may simply be your beautiful, deeply wired, essential messengers asking for your ear.
Using your feelings as a guide
Contrary to what our culture may have told you, feeling badly can be you, your body, and your mind working properly. Fosha emphasizes, “nothing that feels bad is ever the last step.” So, while it’s natural, normal, and sometimes helpful to experience negative feelings, they are not a destination. They are the launching point for your journey towards living solidly in your own skin, no longer skittish around your own mind. 
Finding comfort in discomfort is a tall order, but attempting to do so offers agency in a time when it feels like we have so little say. It’s not easy to stay with our experience when our bodies are flooded with a physiological response to negative thoughts. But, in doing so, we are building a tolerance. Now that we understand a bit more about what’s happening in our bodies, how normal it is to want to run, how to stay if we want to, and why our emotions are valuable and inevitable, we can rewire our response in a way that makes feeling less scary.  
READ MORE: Why Feeling Bad is Good.
Are you interested in learning more about how to explore your emotions and build tolerance for discomfort? Many of myTherapyNYC’s staff therapists are trained in AEDP therapy. Reach out today to find out which of our therapist is the right fit for you.
When was the last time you felt an emotion you wanted to avoid and how did you handle it? Join the conversation in the comments below!
The post Building Tolerance to Find Comfort in Discomfort appeared first on myTherapyNYC - Counseling & Wellness.
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mirceakitsune · 4 years
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Aryion (Eka's Portal) is now purging users over COVID discussion
Some important clarification before we begin: I wanted this journal to be less of a mad rant and more of a much needed discussion, thus I'll be more calm and rational unlike my previous rants. I wasn't sure if I was going to talk about this but I felt I needed to, both to get it off my chest and to try sparking some debate over what the hell is going on on this planet. Please read and share this one especially if you care for freedom to speak. My goal isn't to point fingers at the website over how I was treated, but to raise awareness and address what's happening online and offline alike. I'll try to be balanced and describe what happened accurately, though of course this represents my own perspective.
Two days ago I was shocked by a completely unexpected decision by the admin of Eka's Portal to permanently ban me from the platform, after over 10 years of being an active user who never even dreamed of starting trouble there. It followed a blog I posted in the night of Joe Biden's inauguration. The reason for my ban wasn't any of the harsh things I said about that, despite my journal being a rather heated rant on society and politics: It came from one obscure sentence in the middle of the post, in which my only crime was to use the term "imaginary deadly pandemic". If anyone finds this surprising you read correctly: It was confirmed to be the cause, I was not informed of any other reason except for that particular sentence. To the satisfaction of those who see me as a heretic, I've been depressed baffled and even more deep in thought after this happened out of nowhere: It's a community I cared a lot about, followed art and spoke with friends on, and there are both artists I watched there and friends I spoke to who I may not be able to find elsewhere. Despite explaining this as well as what I'll say below to the admin, I'm still seen as someone who committed a capital crime by using those words; I won't reveal exact details from a private discussion without permission, but will say I felt addressed as someone who just committed a murder for which I'm irredeemable and deserve to be hung at the gallows.
Before I proceed let's clarify some things. First of all I don't deny that COVID exists in some form and there is some kind of pandemic going on; I didn't use the term "imaginary pandemic" but rather "imaginary DEADLY pandemic" as my intent was to address the apocalyptic hysteria surrounding this flu. I think anyone, especially among those who have doubts about what's happening, could easily find themselves using such a choice of words... I understand they weren't accurate and ideal, but they were no obscene crime that should terrify anyone in such a way nor warrant such an extreme reaction. I also shouldn't need to explain that a vent journal is something you write in a moment of distress to calm down: It's not a moment when people use the best choice of words and will carefully read everything they say before they say it, which to my knowledge isn't considered a crime and is something people generally do. Needless to say that sentence was in no way intended to tell people to do anything: In no form did I suggest anyone to not wear a mask, even to not get that vaccine despite having huge concerns about it and expressing them indirectly. The actual discussion was about the way COVID was added on top of racial justice as a means of dividing people between good and bad while controlling them through fear. Despite this I was accused of "spreading misinformation", a term that's recently become popular and is used to shut down people who have different opinions from the mainstream. I pledged that if I were unbanned, I would cease all social and political discussion on the site, to prevent any risk of such a thing happening again... despite even this I'm still considered someone who's sole purpose was to spread disinformation, despite such discussion taking place in secondary journals while my main reason for being there was community related stuff.
This event was a self fulfilling prophecy, which exemplified exactly the things I've been ranting about like a madman for the past months, which many surely thought I was exaggerating with: The rise of radicalism fueled by fear... which first started with things like racial justice or child safety, and is now doubled down by this pandemic story. Whether or not COVID-19 really is a public health crisis in secondary plane, what it is first and foremost is a social and political crisis! A rift is growing even faster dividing people between two categories: The chad mainstreamist who follows the science and is politically correct and a responsible citizen, versus the virgin conspiracist who thinks people in powerful positions aren't always right and is a fascist for disagreeing with what the mainstream declared is truth or justice. The first category has every social right that's still available to the general population, while the second needs to be "socially exterminated" because their beliefs make them a danger to others; You no longer matter as a person, the only thing that matters is if you're on our side or not! This is what's now being implemented by those who not long ago preached tolerance and being decent toward others no matter their beliefs.
COVID brought an existing freedom of speech crisis to a new level: We're at the stage where addressing a flu by the wrong pronouns can get you removed from a community you've been with for a third of your life. And I know what many will say: A private entity censoring you isn't the same thing as the government doing it. Which I fully agree with, government regulation is by far the scariest beast here! However this doesn't mean it's not a problem at all... it's a very big problem as many of us are recently learning: Literally anything you say, no matter how random or seemingly insignificant, puts you at great risk... to the point where it's practically unsafe to have any social conversation in any community you care about unless you're carefully going to say what everyone likes to hear. This is absolutely unhealthy, we live in a sick world and barely anyone even notices it... one that has NOTHING to do with the way I imagined modern society even 5 years ago let alone as I grew up. It's an unimaginable regression back into 1930's - 1960's era strictness: This is no free world, it's an "everyone in line" type of strict that mirrors Chinese if not North Korean mentality and social design, this abomination is a parody of hell itself.
I predict no one will escape being affected unless something is done to change course immediately. Certain people seem to think that because they're on the "good side" it's someone else's problem, only those who disagree with them have to suffer which is great from their perspective. Remember that the world is changing: Today the planet freaks out over COVID or racism... eventually those things will go away, and in their place new ones will be added by those who enjoy or need division: Racism will be replaced with some other ism... once people get bored of fearing COVID or everyone becomes immune to it, the medical industry will likely identify the new most aggressive virus in circulation and continue the trend with that... it's possible that entirely new controversies we can't even imagine now will be put in circulation. At some point it's going to be something you too no longer agree with: Once you dare to speak incorrectly of what the world decided, you'll be the next to see what it's like to be this lesser person who everyone treats like a leper that's plaguing others. Will you shut up and pretend to agree with everyone even if you don't, fearing that if you're outed as a "disagreer" you'll be the next to go?
Back to the issue at hand, from a perspective on how the internet works: Many people, including the creator of the practical internet Tim Berners Lee, agree that entities have too much power over individuals. If Google or Facebook or Twitter don't like you, you will be shut down and told to find another platform to migrate to, ignoring the fact that they're in limited supply and all suffer from the same issues often using the same criteria. Fandoms such as furries or vore fans suffer from this too at a smaller scale: If Dragoneer or someone he appointed moderator are having a bad day, good luck finding each of your favorite artists there on another art site... a problem that may be worse on Eka's Portal as it's also a big community but ran more directly by one admin, who in the past I praised but can now see their judgment is unbalanced and bound to harm some users. To me this indicates the internet was poorly designed... which makes some sense since until 5 years ago no one thought the web would need to resist an ideological onslaught that will infiltrate every community and make one half of the world turn against the other. For a long time I've dreamed of building a fully decentralized platform, which could act as both an art gallery and an alternative to Youtube and forums. Unfortunately I don't have the knowledge nor energy to make such a thing, though this experience has me thinking back to that plan... I should leave this one up to a future journal.
I feel like saying more but am unsure what I could possibly say any more. At this point part of me wants to go in full isolation: I expect this sort of thing to keep happening, and until it starts affecting even more people the majority won't realize how bad it's getting. I don't know to what extent I even want to create content any more... for who am I creating it, how worth it is the effort spend on every project, where can I even safely post it any more? I need to keep my Patreon going, but even there I barely make any income, and as of this month I can no longer use the money anyway since Payoneer is being a pest about agreeing to send a new card. I'll be honest: Part of me wants to try and end it again, you can't understand how much... I won't because I know it's wrong, plus I live with my mother who I don't want to put through more hardships. Some of us weren't meant to live on this world, I can tell you all this for a fact. If I had any idea it would be like this I'd have refused to be born on this Earth and experience this life even if it meant fighting the gods themselves! This world is irredeemable, I don't see it ever coming back from the low it's fallen to... if another giant meteor hit it would truly be an act of mercy to all.
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movietvtechgeeks · 7 years
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Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/supernatural-actors-find-time-worthy-charities/
'Supernatural' actors find time for worthy charities
The SPN fandom is known far and wide for its generosity and dedication to the charities that our cast supports. After so much drama, negativity and “wank” in the fandom lately, I figured it was time to focus on the positive – specifically, the cast’s charitable efforts. Stronger Than Storms They don’t call us the #SPNfamily for nothing. On Aug. 25, 2017, hurricane Harvey made landfall in the Houston area of Texas. Many Supernatural fans will know that both Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, two of the stars of Supernatural, make Houston their home in the off-season, and when they aren’t filming. Two days later, Aug. 27, The Family Business – Jensen’s brewery in Austin – started a Crowdrise campaign to raise money for the hurricane Harvey relief effort. The #SPNfamily showed up in force. Later that day, the donations were up to $50,000 – which was then matched by a $50,000 direct donation to Random Acts, Misha Collins’s charity. One day later, the amount was over $100,000; as of the end of August, the amount is at $394,364 – in 10 DAYS. Not only that, the CW – the network that carries Supernatural – is also supporting the cause. A representative from Random Acts says: “We're thrilled and honored that the Family Business Beer Company, along with Jensen and Danneel Ackles, have chosen to include us in this fundraiser. The best thing people can do for those affected by Harvey is to open their hearts and give or volunteer — and so far, people seem to be eager to do just that. In the coming days, as the situation worsens, we hope everyone will keep those things in mind.” Random Acts/GISHWHES/IMAlive/YANA Misha Collins. This man must have “charitable” as his middle name. Random Acts spent over $500,000 in 2016; GISHWHES has raised over $400,000 for charities, completed over 400,000 random acts of kindness worldwide, and: In addition, Jensen Ackles and Misha created the You Are Not Alone Campaign in 2016, to help raise money for IMAlive – a crisis support network fully staffed by volunteers. IMAlive volunteers support con-goers during photo ops and autographs at Creation Entertainment conventions – it can be overwhelming meeting someone you admire and look up to, someone who has made a big impact on your life (I took advantage of speaking with an IMAlive volunteer at the New Orleans convention – being able to talk about why I was there for a Jared autograph helped – a lot). More recently, Misha created the #IWishForThis campaign, which is raising money for Random Acts and Lydia’s Place – “The mission of Lydia Place is to disrupt the cycle of homelessness and promote sustained independence for current and future generations.” According to the Stands website, where the campaign is hosted, 100 percent of the profit goes to a partnership between Random Acts and Lydia’s Place. Here’s what Misha had to say about his charities: “The single biggest strength of the SPNFamily is its passion— its ability to come together to support a cause. Random Acts and YANA were both born as a response to that passion. As actors, it's rare to have an such a supportive fan base and Jared, Jensen, & I feel so fortunate to be able to act as the conduit that directs their energy toward making a positive impact in the world. Whether it's building a school in Nicaragua and an orphanage in Haiti, or assisting other Supernatural fans with mental health support, I'm constantly astonished and humbled by the way the fans always rise to the challenge and can't wait to see what we can accomplish next.” The main cast aren’t the only charitable ones in the SPN family. Rob Benedict, whose charity of choice is The National Stroke Association, says: “As a stroke survivor, I want to do everything I can to raise awareness about strokes and to see the signs when a loved one is having a stroke.  The National Stroke Association is a great organization that is doing just that.” Mark Sheppard, who until recently played Crowley on Supernatural, has chosen Camp Conrad Chinnok as his charity. According to their website: “Camp Conrad Chinnock offers recreational, social, and educational opportunities for youth and families with diabetes. Campers are taught diabetes self-management skills in a fun, interactive, and safe environment. A primary focus of Diabetes Camping and Educational Services is providing residential camping experiences for youth with Type 1, insulin-dependent diabetes and their families at Camp Conrad Chinnock. Whether attending a youth or family camp, a comprehensive educational program provides training in formal and casual settings to teach children how to manage their medication, eat properly, and integrate physical activity into their lifestyle.” Carrie Genzel, who was on both Bugs and Just My Imagination (a favourite episode of mine, as it was directed by Richard Speight Jr.), has her own charity campaign as well: “I had only a small idea of how incredible the SUPERNATURAL Fandom was from doing ‘Bugs’ in the first season, but seeing as social media wasn't as it is today, I had no idea of the overwhelming sense of love that the fandom has and shows those of us lucky enough to have been on the show. When ‘Just My Imagination’ aired there was a sudden tsunami of appreciation and excitement for the episode and the scenes I was apart of. “It was then I understood what makes the SUPERNATURAL Fandom so special, and unlike any other I've seen. That love, that inclusiveness, and support is right along the lines of how I live my life, of what I believe in, and when I launched my blog stateofslay.com I got immediate support from many of the SPN Family. My beliefs are that we don't leave anyone behind, we stand as one, as a community, and knowing that at any given time, every one of us will need some help, or encouragement, the idea of STATE OF SLAY is that together we are stronger and can accomplish anything. “Soon after launching the blog, an incredible woman from the fandom, Willeke Vis, came to me about designing a T-Shirt campaign; we decided to have all proceeds to go BWSS, Battered Women's Support Services, an organization that was close to our hearts -- and an incredible way to give back and send out that sense of community to women who are making a fresh start. We got ‘375cArrow’ aka Carrie, to help us make our design come to life. The idea behind it is that it looks like a superhero emblem, because we are all the superheroes of our own lives, it says SLAY POWERED, as a reminder to use the power within to SLAY our days. The Slay Powered merchandise can be purchased in the SLAY STORE at www.stateofslay.com, with all proceeds going to BWSS. “I am constantly in awe how of the SUPERNATURAL Fandom gives back, from the cast members to those who just feel inspired to contribute and make someone's day brighter. They all inspire me every day. SLAY on.” The Lucifer we all know and love, Mark Pellegrino, is just wrapping up his #onlylove campaign – the T-shirts, available through Represent, support Stomp Out Bullying. Sales just ended on  Dec. 4, 2017, and wound up selling over two-thousand hoodies. Mark says: “I love kids, so my main charity is St. Jude’s. Ending childhood cancer and the suffering it causes would be a dream come true.” The Supernatural fandom is truly a family – we have done so much good in this world, all stemming from a little TV show. Let’s keep it up! Editor's Note: Sadly, there has been that very small minority that has tried to discount the amazing and noteworthy work that the Supernatural actors have done which is sad and just downright disgusting, but all of these charitable causes have been verified and are legitimate endeavors. We have linked to each of them for those interested in learning more about them. Check Out Our Holiday Gift Guides: [abcf-grid-gallery-custom-links id="50643"]
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drmyler · 4 years
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Kafka - Psychoanalysis
Kafka, Metamorphosis a Psychoanalytical View
 by
 Dr Stephen F Myler PhD
 Abstract:
 Franz Kafka in 1916 wrote a short novella called Metamorphosis (1. Bantam Edition 2004) a book of immense psychological and insightful nightmare into the human condition. Here we will exam Kafka's masterpiece from a psychoanalytical perspective to see that this work was an insightful self examination of depression, mental health and the role of carers when love turns to loathing. To begin our journey for the non-reader of this famous text we will give a brief outline and then turn to the specific role of psychoanalytic insight from Freudian to Burns and beyond.
 Introduction:
 Kafka was born in 1883 a middle class Jewish boy, introverted, shy and inadequate, believed to be a result of a critical father, (2. Letter to his Father 1919) he was later educated in Prague in a German University however he went on in his spare time to write many works of outstanding literature. Here we are not going to delve into detailed life but satisfy ourselves with a small picture of the man as writer. Kafka was very driven and wrote daily through the night with a dedicated passion. Today he might be seen as OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour) prone to perfectionism. It is his perfectionist emotional driver that made his literature something very special.
 Kafka wrote Metamorphosis in 1916 as a short novella about a young man who was the stalwart of the family, supporting an out of work critical father, a doting mother and childlike sister, in which our hero, Gregor Samsa was not popular at work and under daily stress of travel and deadlines to meet for which he felt a losing battle. In the beginning of the book he awakes from a troubling dream to find he has in fact turned into an ugly giant beetle his mind trapped in an alien body. From this beginning Gregor begins to explore his new limitations and narrow world view, his sight becomes dim, he cannot move without constant pain and great effort. His family are dependent on Gregor going to work, earning their keep and supporting their needs when suddenly he cannot no longer act in this role. His father is disgusted, his mother stricken and his younger sister while becoming his carer is repulsed by this new version of her brother. As time passes and he does not return to his old self – the family must make new plans to survive and now see him as their burden (roles reversed). In the beginning Gregor thought this was just a temporary situation that would soon pass and he would re-uptake his old life and continue forward. However in the end there is no solution and suffers a lonely eventual death.
 In writing the following psychoanalytical analysis I have not read the many introductions, essays and critical insights of other writers. This was purposefully done to avoid contamination of my thinking process in treating Gregor as my patient in a psychoanalytical setting. I did not want to have the bias of others opinions to my way of seeing the text as the only evidence of the patients mental health problem.
 The Patient:
 Like any new psychological patient to the clinic a first one hour session would be usually conducted in two parts – the first – why have you come to see me? The second the clients ability to vent (tell their story in their own words) and so set the scene for further sessions. Lets imagine Gregor's typical answer to why have you come here.
 Gregory: My family is very dependent on me to support them but lately I have been feeling very stressed by work and home alike. I had a very bad dream a few weeks ago and woke up in a deluded state in which I found it impossible to get our of bed. I just felt overwhelmed with exhaustion and the loss of will to keep going on with my miserable life. It was like I was some ugly bug that everyone despised and yet took for granted. All they want to do is squash my passion for life and replace it with their needs.
 Psychoanalyst: It sounds very much as if you are stressed and reached what me might call a point of exhaustion – this means your energy has been depleted both physically and mentally. So to summarise – you are depressed right now from the burden of work and a non-supportive family environment and you feel you have given up trying to be the one who supports everyone else?
 Gregory: Yes, it is like I was a donkey with burden I could no longer carry.
 Psychoanalyst: Tell me a little of your background? (second part - venting)
 Gregory: I have a very critical, controlling father who tries to dominate the household, however he is unemployed right now and his health has deteriorated through becoming lazy and irritable. My mother cowers  to him and goes along with his demands even when unreasonable, I have a younger sister – she is just finishing her education but has not found any real outlet for her abilities just yet, she is kind and sweet but very nieve about the world at large. At work my supervisor while pleasant enough but he is also under pressure from our boss who like my father is controlling and micro manages our every move. This means you feel you are being scrutinized constantly and found lacking. I have to travel a lot for my work and often come home late and exhausted but then am expected to be there for the family as the main stay of their comforts. I do not have time for relationships and I am probably not a very good catch for any girl who might have any interest in  me beyond the obvious. At home things have changed now that I have been fired and lost my income. My sister has started to care for me more and tries constantly to rescue me from my mood swings, however my mother has just fell apart and cries insistently about her poor boy yet shy away from actually helping me. As for my father he is even more disgusted by me than ever as I forced him to go out and find work, he even took in some lodgers to help make ends meet and so the burden has passed to my mother and sister to keep the household clean and fed. We have had some cooks and cleaners but they have mostly left because they refuse to have anything to do with me. I cannot really think of much else to tell you – but at least I feel I managed to get it all out.
 Psychoanalyst: I think that gives me quite a lot to think about Gregor and you have been very clear and systematic in the way you have explained the background. Tell me how are you actually feeling right now?
 Gregory: A little relieved to have finally explained myself and someone listened without a sneer on their face or laughing at me. Thank you for that. In general I know that everyday I feel sad and tired by life – I just want to lay down and sleep – that somehow when I wake up everything will be normal again – that I can function and have some sort of life.
 Psychoanalyst: Well we have had our time today Gregor, an hour can pass very quickly the first visit. I hope to see you are least once a week for an hour, in the meantime I have a little homework exercise for you to complete for me. A one page biography of your family, where you grew up, your education, relationships and the current here and now situation. I know you have told me some of this already but it will help save some time in sessions by having a short version of your life so far. Please send to me via email before our next session so that I can read and analyse the content before you come. Here is my card and details. If at anytime you feel you are in crisis and need me – please call for an earlier appointment.
 Gregory: Thank you Doctor, I will see you same time next week.
 Psychoanalytical Analysis of the First Session:
 For insurance purposes the analyst is forced to write a psychiatric number and diagnosis. This labelling is not a reflection of the true nature of the mental health problem but merely a forced situation in order to get paid. In Gregor's case – Clinical Depression DSM V 296.3.
 In reality a psychological outcome may have been Reactive Depression to stress at both home and work leading to a lack of everyday cognitive functioning in both thought and behaviour.
 Clearly in this case – depression is the key element from signs of mental exhaustion, a sense of hopelessness and helplessness from the role reversal of stalwart breadwinner to helpless victim in need of rescuing by his sister in particular – the constant disappointment to both his parents and rejection of his work colleagues. At his stage we do not have enough data to surmise the underlying unconscious drives that might be fueling his depressive state other than the external pressures of family and work. In further sessions the need will be met from a more in depth scrutinizing of his emotional world and inner conflicts. He clearly feels alone in his burden although the sister is obviously doing her mother's duty of care. The client mentioned a bad dream – this can be further pursued for unconscious motivations.
 Further Sessions:
 Over 20 or more sessions – Gregor's analogy of being an ugly beetle are further explored and his relationships with both family and work – more importantly his feelings about himself and his depressive state. It also became clear that his family were now neglecting his everyday needs for nutritious food, care and comfort. They in fact have become physically violent towards him causing him to further withdraw into his delusional world where he feels he is nothing more than an ugly beetle that should be stamped upon. Risk of suicide has now become evident in his demeanour. His appearance shows he is not looking after his ablutions, clothing is dirty and unkempt and he has lost considerable weight. He was also becoming lethargic in that he no longer cared what happened to him as long as this constant pain would cease (pain being mental anguish). His sister although dutiful in looking after him has lost heart in him getting better and so now only is a functional caregiver as opposed to a empathetic one. His biography homework showed that his father was not only controlling but bitter in that he lost a business owing considerable money to Gregor's employer who now expected him to pay off his fathers debts through a reduced salary for his own work putting considerable burden on him to support the family at home. The mother was ashamed of the home situation and was too weak to stand up to her husband in any matters of  economy or otherwise. The sister was in the past spoiled and now resented her reduced situation and blamed Gregor for being sick. Again adding to his feelings of alienation and being alone.
 Sadly Gregor died after the end of the sessions from self-neglect – basically willing his life to cease as he saw no longer any purpose to it. His father had found new employment, the mother felt relieved to see her son no longer in this life suffering and the sister finally felt free of her own burden that being her brother. While psychoanalysis would have hoped for a different outcome – the book itself determined the ending that we have to accept.
 Conclusion:
 While Franz Kafka meant his novella of Metamorphosis to be a comic tragedy of a wasted life it springs out at any educated reader in the art of psychoanalysis as a perfect example of chronic depression and futility. Those in this delusional state often contemplate suicide although mostly via ideation (I think it but don't), however self neglect is very common trait that leads to slow death from a lack of self care. When you have a non-supportive family, where their needs are being thwarted by your mental state – then further rejection can cause a spiralling effect of deeper resentment about your own part in the downfall of your mind. Many depressives play victim (3. Berne 1960's) inviting others to rescue them – when in fact they need to rescue themselves – but in the end they become their own persecutor and further victimize themselves to that bitter ending of death.
 In real life via treatment for depression a sense of purpose is sought from the client in that he can see a new fresh change to his circumstances despite the battle of a non-supportive family and hostile work environment that is all to common in today's economy. In Gregor's case over time he would have explored his past traumas and realized the underlying demons that led to his lack of self assurance and efficacy to find a new solution to his mood.
 Summery:
 This paper was an exercise in psychoanalysis from a famous work of literature and reflects the art of the analyst who tries to understand the underlying concepts of the unconscious mind in creating monsters from our own imagination to battle with when we reach that point of exhaustion both physically and mentally called – depression.
 References:
 1.      Kafka F. 1915 – Metamorphosis – Bantam Edition 2004
2.      Kafka F. 1919 – Letter to his Father – Bantam Ed 2004
3.      Bernes E. 1960's – Transactional Analysis – various volumes.
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