#immortal fuckhead

[thegirlisuedtobe]

haahhh,,,, even after five months the controversy is still going around,,, when will it go away where I can just watch one of joo hyunies videos on YouTube in peace

[spiralingemptyness]

continuing my uncanny ability to not be able to start a post properly, but this time with auto correct ✨turned off✨ so rip any spelling errors

why do twins, especially in media get so much shit thrown at them… and i dont mean shit as in ‘oh you guys are twins’ type of bullshit, i mean a fucking dupmpster truck load of trauma

and majority of the time, it has the same sort of coding, one was abandoned and the other lost/got stripped of their sense of self, oh and thats not mentioning the fact that each of them has no self preservation, but like sammme tho

Dmc - Vergil and Dante being forcibly separated, and then later on Dante having people leave him or people he cant save, while Vergil was tortured and stripped of his identity, memories, etc by Mundus (fuck you you skank-ass bitch) (i can rant about these two fuckheads more…. But i despise essays)

blue exorcist - Rin and Yukio, Rin sorta not really getting their adoptive father killed while having a more demonic side to him, which makes practically everyone nut trust him or afraid of him… fun. Yukio is a high achieving childhood prodegy and has also been known to be able to see demons since his childhood, which is why he started exorcism at like seven… fun

greek mythology - castor and pollux, pollux being the son of zeus and castor the son of Tyndareus, both mothered by Leda, were princes of sparda. Both saved Helen and were on the argonauts and have been told to have liked a multitude of different things.. blah blah, castor ends up dying and pollux being a demigod decides to say f u to immortality in order to stay with his brother, which created gemini

greek mythology- apollo and artemis, these two have been mainly shown to focus on the polar opposite part of being siblings, apollo being the sun and a literal man whore, while his older twin sister is the moon and has been known for choosing an oath to throw away marriage and that shit

That being said theres also toliet bound hanako kun, blood of zeus, the fucking mario brothers, even those jailers from persona 5, oh and lets not forget vash and knives from trigun, etc etc

being traumaless, ha, fuck that. Everyone wants the life spice, it adds flavor to the personality

[ambyandony]

Illuso monster au concept sketch (very very sketch quality)

Illuso (probably his first name but idk his last)

mirror ghost

presumably dead human - definitely dead (thats most ghosts most ghosts are dead. non-dead ghosts are classed under spirits) i've established that he's dead

COD unknown (he doesnt like to talk about it) (most ghosts do not like to talk about it. I recommend not asking ghosts about the circumstances of their deaths.)

whatever it was was probably fairly traumatic and he misses being alive. he is spiteful towards prosciutto, who is a lich (basically voluntarily zombified himself with necromancy in a bid to achieve immortality) LEARN TO DIE LIKE A REAL MAN FUCKHEAD I DIDNT DIE A GRUESOME DEATH TO SEE SOME PASTY-ASS BLOND FUCKER EVADE DEATH LIKE A FUCKING COWARD

He is only able to appear in mirrors / reflections. While he's able to be outside of mirrors, he is invisible / inaudible (unless under certain conditions). When seen inside of mirrors, his skin and particularly eyes appear to be shattered, so it's possible that when he manifests in a mirror, he's accompanied by a cracking noise when he moves as the mirror breaks. The mirrors only appear broken where he is, so they probably repair themselves when it comes to specifically this.

his fingers are often seen broken off in a jagged fashion, which makes his body appear to actually be glasslike or maybe statuesque. Which fingers are broken may not always be consistent, and the extent to which they are broken can differ, but his hands are never fully intact. Sometimes they are missing completely (though never both at once... at least hopefully, ‘cause that would fucking suck for the poor bitch).

other parts including his arms and legs (and maybe even his ponytails on rare occasion) can sometimes also be seen 'broken off'. whether this affects him directly in terms of him "actually" missing those parts is questionable. but if he's manifested and his leg appears damaged it does seem to impact his mobility, and its not entirely clear when or how these breakages occur / repair / change / etc

his ponytails also appear jagged somehow

illuso likely spends a lot of his time in the mirror world because it's the only place where he actually exists as a physical entity and can (possibly?) make physical contact with people. hes actually very lonely and really misses the ability to hug people under normal circumstances but of course he would never fucking admit that.

Being in the mirror world isn't necessarily the same as manifesting inside of the mirrors, though it appears similarly; when manifested inside of a mirror, he sort of becomes part of the mirror, whereas when in the mirror world, he can actually move around independently from where the mirror is despite being ‘inside’ the mirror still. In both cases, he is visible, but intangible outside of the mirror world itself, since he's inside of the mirror, and not just being seen reflected in the mirror. He can therefore be outside the mirror, wherein he's 'semicorporeal': he can kinda be made contact with, but is completely invisible and would mostly just get in the way, and only his reflection is actually being seen.

Sorbet's Stand (Super Trouper) has an ability that is light-based (it pretty much uses light to knock people out). This could be a bit troublesome considering Illuso has to be in a mirror to manifest which perhaps risks redirecting Super Trouper's light which was funny once (despite Gelato's rage) but problematic the second time

There's most likely at least one mirror in almost every room of La Squadra's Hideout, because Illuso would be unable to interact or communicate properly with the others otherwise. illuso everywhere system

Formaggio has used Little Feet to shrink down mirrors for easy illuso transportation and im not sure if theyve just forgotten that compact mirrors are a thing orrrr……..

[sir-adamus]

they are setting up the gods as greater scope villains with this because we’ve seen that they’ve done this twice now

cursing a being with immortality and then abandoning the world for petty reasons

and how many other worlds are out there that have suffered the same fate because those stupid abusive fuckheads have their technicolour heads shoved up their own asses? how many more Salems are there?

‘unite the world and we will return and live among you’ how the fuck dare you demand the impossible (because to remove conflict on a global scale you have to satisfy everyone’s wants and needs, which is impossible because there will always be assholes who abuse the system for their own gain), when you stunted assholes are so much less than perfect yourselves?

[jadpp]

Why hello there, shitheads!

...And I promise the 'shitheads' wasn't aimed at him at all...

It's me, the 'immortal', Dave Miller!

...I guess I kind of fuck around in this place, you know?...

But anyways, I'm now here because this stupid bitch told me to get on this weird fucking app, what's with this so called 'fanart'???

And for anyone wondering! I'm doing just fine. See ya fuckheads around.

[walksinlatewithcoffee]

Hermitcraft hybrid headcanons

Starting with the ones I’ve posted about before and moving to more random/new stuff

You know the drill, Preying Mantis Keralis, it’s my jam. It’s so perfect. But also Siren, his voice is perfect for it.

Vampire robot mumbo, best of both worlds. Some fuckhead decided to make a robot that runs on blood and now poor Mumbo just has to live like this.

Cub is newly immortal, no one is entirely sure why or how. Previously he was a magically enhanced human who had earned the favor of a fae court

Ren is a Belgian Mallinois hybrid/werewolf thing. I also probably spelled that wrong but anyway they’re kind of like German Shepard’s but worse in nearly every way. And by Worse I mean harder to train, more likely to bite your hand off, more energetic, etc. Ren just didn’t suit the dignified aura of a German Shepard , he’s too unhinged

BDubs has Lynx energy. I don’t have any other way to describe it.

Satyr Gen will always have a place in my heart but a dryad is a cool option as well

I think Iskall being a grizzly bear hybrid or a dnd style werebear would be neat.

Speaking of satyrs, I like the idea of Doc being a sort of creeper/goat thing with satyr-like legs.

I like the idea of XB being some sort of aquatic fae hybrid, maybe a selkie or siren?

Zedaph isn’t a watcher but was touched by the eldritch in some similar way, which physically changed his eye color to lavender.

Joe is related back to herobrine in some way, and is considered a sort of partial eldritch hybrid similar to Zedaph. Mostly this manifests as Joe having knowledge he shouldn’t due to being deeper in touch with layers of reality lost people can’t access, which often confuses other players who have no idea what he’s talking about.

Speaking of the eldritch, there are three main types: the Originals, the Surveyors, and the Void.

The Originals are creators, beings tied to the fabric of the universe and can bend it to their will. All players lead back to this in some way, because all living things do. Some however have a higher affinity than others, and those people often become server admins. Some people have even higher affinities, and they become Joe Hills.

The Surveyors are risen entities, those which come into power often through sheer force of will, and otherwise by being plucked from a normal life and Changed. Possibly the result of old experiments by the Originals, these now exist in their own right as Watchers and Listeners.

Then there’s the Void creatures. In archaic literature they may be called Glitchborn. Essentially… they’re anything else that doesn’t play by the rules of they game code.

There we have the Void twins. That’s right, X and EX are not supposed to exist. No one knows why they exist. And inside those suits you may be surprised at what you get: unstable forms, inconsistent anatomy, sometimes just a weird amalgamation of shapes if they’re having a rough day trying to look human.

[ciceroandthelistener]

pov you’re the spacecraft computer giving an environmental warning on an isotopic planet but the fuckhead pilot found another immortal worm

[yusuke-of-valla]

FEH OCs I have an unhealthy attachment towards

Mirabillis: A nice sleepy time girl who was neglected by her mom and constantly starving

Nifl: Ice goddess who's fuckhead brother killed her wife and has never gotten over it

Eitri: Immortal bastard enforcing the divine right of Kings in the most insane way possible because they're hung up on her bestie/original first king (also possibly killed and posessed a child! It's not specified!)

Nidhoggr: Doctor who avoids her feelings about her dad turning their humanitarian org into a group of assassins by being shit ass drunk at all times, and also for some reason does not wear pants. Also snek lady.

[spacecravat]

hadestown is not actually very good omens adjacent, but i spent pretty much all of last month listening to it on repeat, and there are a few lines that really get me in the a/c feelings. like the “where are you” bit in doubt comes in. or wait for me. in context neither of these are actually a/c songs at ALL but. still.

[mandareeboo]

So Nolan actually seem very disappointed when his son got his powers in the pilot. I think he was growing to hope he didn't get anything so he wouldn't have to proceed the next invasion steps

Yeah, I think his original plan was just to wait for everyone he was friends with to die (obviously not all of them, since The Immortal and all that shit, but people like Cecil and Debbie) before going ham.

Basically, he was using Earth as a sort of mini-vacation to enjoy a respite from being a genocidal fuckhead and it got ruined.

[newtafterdark]

I'm living for the concept of Beauty (and potentially Gorgeous) getting on with the Science Team. Back in the Gorgeous universe they're regarded as freaks? Bubby was tube-grown, Coomer is a cyborg, Tommy is the son of an eldritch something or other, Benrey is *vague gesture* Benrey is something. Gender causing issues? Gender is a prison and they all chewed through the bars. They have rough-housing and shenanigans, and are automatically Ride or Die for each other.

They also have a giant immortal dog.

The only problem for this scenario is the added stress it brings poor Feetman (or Metal, depending)

Okay, before I say anything - this is all based on my headcanons for each of them. Of course, other folks might have different thoughts! (Especially on Gorgeous!)

Both Gorgeous and Beauty are excited the moment they get to meet the Science Team after hearing so much about them from their respective Gordon.

Gorgeous is in general awkward around new people, but he's internally so happy to be around folks where he isn't the odd-one-out. He would also be all over Sunkist! Once Tommy gives him his okay to pet her, Gorgeous is just giving her so much attention - "Who is the best girl??? That's right - It's you!! Oh, aren't you just so sweet, soft & big!! Yes, you are!!!"

He still is fully aware of the conversations around him... but Sunkist being a service dog actually makes that possible. Gorgeous hasn't felt this soothed around a lot of people in a long time.

Seeing how he interacts with Sunkist wins over Tommy & Benrey on the spot. Anyone who is kind towards Sunkist is worth learning more about!

Beauty immediately clicks with Bubby & Coomer. Like I mentioned before - two old rowdy trans folks who are so happy with each other? Beauty is simply mush.

Coomer: Welp, time to honorary adopt another one. :) Bubby: Harold- Coomer: Like you don't want to sign the papers on this force of a gay mess. Bubby: ... alright, alright. Stop looking so smug-

And the thing is... no matter if Feetman (or Metal) likes it or not, Beauty & Gorgeous already like him too. He gets included in shenanigans, gets flirted at & gets picked up & carried when the crew wants to go somewhere fast & don't want to wait on his "normal" human legs-

Feetman: JESUS! I can walk just FINE! Let me down- Gorgeous: Nope. :) Feetman: At least let me see where we're going! Gorgeous: If you wanted a piggy-back ride, you could have just told me- Feetman: You just GRABBED me! I didn't have time to- O-O-OH shit why are you so fucking tall?!

Benrey complains that he wants to get carried too. In fact, everyone in the Science Team wants to at least once. (Even Darnold at some point, just to say he can handle it)

Also, Beauty & Coomer quickly figure out that Coomer is stronger than him. (Gorgeous makes a mental note that that also means that Coomer is stronger than him but mentions that to no one, not even Beauty.)

I can't get the image of Bubby just protective over Beauty & Gorgeous out of my head either, like "They treated us like projects but we are PEOPLE! Never forget that, you fuckheads!"

And... okay, yes. Beauty & Gorgeous would vogue with Benrey-

Feetman: *watching that happen with an embarrassed look & blush on his face* WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS??? Gorgeous: I know for a fact you can do it too~ :) Feetman: Sh-Shut the FUCK-! >:/

[itsallinm3]

I love when I look up wether this food I’m not acquainted w is nutritious for me and they’re like ya chockful of nutrients!!!! Vitamins !!!! And then there is an article that is like the dark side of said food and the conclusion ends up being if had in excess this could poison and kill you . The way that goes for literally most things. No one just wanna say living is apart of dying there is literally nothing u can do everytime I talk likr this it’s not to the average person or even to like go on a nihilist nothing matters spiel . I’m talking to the Silicon Valley FUCKHEADS who r doing r word spending on fuckin IMMORTALITY . I hate a bitch that can’t chill In the eternal cycles of death and rebirth

[littlesparklight]

I’m not sure if you’ve answered this question yet but why do you dislike Diomedes?

I haven't! Though I might have grumbled about it spontaneously.

I'm a meanie :P

No, I just... aside from the regular assholeishness which is par for the course (like, you know, murdering sleeping people!), it's basically that Athena likes him so much so he gets to fuck up gods with impunity (while this would normally not be allowed at all), he gets to go home with no issue, and in some versions he even ends up being given immortality??

Like ok he doesn't get to STAY HOME when he gets there thanks to Issues, but Diomedes is a little fuckhead and I will nurse my grudge.

[the-faultofdaedalus]

love that i watched a video abt volcanism and plate tectonics last night before going to bed and that same night i dreamed that i was being held hostage, along with a bunch of other people, in a hospital (which was on the moon but that’s irrelevant) by a group of villains, the one in charge of the hostages being a silver mustachioed evil sherif from the late western era (who was either a ghost, immortal, a time traveler, or someone who had been summoned by the main villan gang) who threatened us all with revolvers and that our deaths would send us to Hell, which he described as an eternal tempest of souls, boiling and burning and crushed by all that was good and life above us, filled with rage and heat and so much pain that, he said, we would weep with relief when we, and all the other restless souls condemned to this fate, froze forever.

so like. hell is the inside of the earth. and magma is made of souls. the mantle is just. hell. cool! neat! genuinely very fun concept. did this guy get spat out by a volcano? what happens to souls that get spat out by volcanoes? no idea the dream did not get that far!

anyways then i had a very fierce debate with him that was a) “actually fuckhead i’m p sure you’re the only one in this room who’s going to hell” and b) “i actually don’t think anything happens after you die so suck on that” and then i tackled him, bent him in half, the other hostages helped tie him up, and we gagged him with a rope dog toy and then got one of our own to take his place.

fun dream 8/10 good plot would experience again

[jojo-reader-hell]

imagine being Jotaro's twin, and you wake up one morning. You look in the bathroom mirror, only to realize you have fangs, claws, & slit pupils. You scream for Jotaro, who is groggy from the lack of sleep. He glares at you, "wait that's it? For fuck's sake, i thought it was a spider or something." Then he yells for your dear mother. "It's y/n, they're finally going through their transformation." Holly squeals before rushing over to you. (It turns out the Joestar family is a werewolf clan!)

I loved this idea so much that I kinda got carried away writing for it! I definitely would like to turn this into a two parter, so keep an eye out for the AO3 link! Until then, hope you enjoy!

Werewolf!Joestars and Werewolf!Reader

...

“WAAAAAAAAAAAH!! BUBBA! BUBBA!”

Big brother instincts activated, Jotaro slammed the door to his room wide open, nearly putting a hole in the wall and causing the door to dangle haphazardly off its hinges. His footfall was heavy, bounding through the hallway and nearly knocking down the decorative plants. In the back of his mind, whatever wasn’t preoccupied with getting to you was worrying about his mother’s nagging about the second door he would have to break to find you. But door be damned, he had to get to you. You never screamed this loud unless something was terribly wrong...

He skidded to a halt in front of the open bathroom, thankful for once in his life that you had the nasty habit of leaving it open, and saw you curled into a ball on the floor. Jotaro wasted no time in dragging you up to sit on your knees and asking where it hurt, only to stop dead in his tracks when he got a good look at you.

“B-Bubba!” You whined, an unmistakable edge to it as you clutched your face. “I’m ugly!”

“You’ve always been ugly.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, and you only cried harder and more violently, a little blood dribbling out of your mouth where extra canines had been growing over your normal set.

“What’s happening to me?!” You wailed. “Everything hurts, my mouth is bleeding, my hands are furry, there’s a fuzzy thing on my butt and when I tried to pull it off I scratched myself with my nails-...”

“Good God, just shut your yap already!” Jotaro snapped. “You’re alright, stand up by yourself!”

“Jotaro! What’s wrong?! What’s happened??”

The pattering of your mother’s slippers echoed throughout the hallway, she nearly slid on the wood floors when she came to an abrupt halt, watching in horror as Jotaro yanked you up violently by the arm and tried to get you to stop screaming and wailing. Evidently it wasn’t working, because the louder he barked orders at you to shut up the harder you cried, yelping every time he yanked you the wrong way.

“Fuckhead over here is going through the change!” He answered back, as though you’d merely gotten a zit. Jotaro was dangling you by your arm painfully, and you tried clawing at him to make him put you down.

Nothing bullied him into letting go until a dark look crossed your mother’s face.

“Let go Jojo.”

She used a voice you never heard before, and even more shocking was the fact that Jojo finally listened for once instead of bullying her and calling her horrible names. He immediately dropped you into her care, feigning disinterest like a scolded pet.

“Oh, my baby!” She cooed, a huge smile coming over her face as she took over trying to get you to stand on your own. “It’s going to be all ok now, sweet baby. Nothings wrong, and you’re not ugly. You’re growing up!”

“H-hwat???” You blubbered, acting like a child as your mother mopped up your face with her apron, not caring that your bloody mouth was staining the white fabric.

“Look baby! Look how pretty your fur is, oh... how cute, I hope you have the same pattern as your grandpa. Even your little tail... we need to get you all nice and brushed.”

“But I... I don’t understand!” You couldn’t wrap your head around it, your mother was more concerned with gushing over you and reassuring you about how cute you were, and all you could do was babble questions until your brother put it bluntly for you:

“You’re turning into a wolf stupid.”

“Jojo, we need to be encouraging.”

Your mother’s voice had a certain conviction to it, another mystery wrapped in an enigma as she glanced disapprovingly at her son. She began to tell you all about the changes that would take place over the next few months, asking if you remembered those puberty videos they showed you in school when you were eleven, and you did, quite vividly if you were being honest. Every month during the full moon you’d just go through the motions of transforming, until your body got used to it and the process became as natural to you as breathing. She assuaged your fears: no you weren’t going to become a bloodthirsty animal. No you weren’t a danger to your family. No you weren’t going to suddenly find other wolves attractive or any other silly fear you had. All it was she said was an extra step in growing up you had to take, kind of like puberty 2.0. Well, it was sort of like that for the Joestars anyway, going back as far as your great great grandfather’s parents, the mythological monster part coming from his mother Mary who was one of the last of the werewolves. The lineage was diluted, hence the pain at the beginning that was inevitable, because in order to be with her beloved for all eternity she had to bite him to turn him, thus every Joestar since had to experience a rather horrific baptism by blood when they came of age. It could have been avoided if the lineage had been kept human free, and you would have been born a fluffy puppy instead of a baby, but then where would we be if we couldn’t choose the ones we loved your mother reasoned.

“The only tricky little detail is keeping the secret of our immortality. Usually when we’ve felt enough is enough here among humans, we just pop off into the woods and enjoy our nice long life with our loved ones. You’ll even age differently, your face will stay wrinkle free, and the only difference is your hair will turn grey!”

“Wait a minute... you mean we can’t die and we just leave society to live in the woods?”

“Uh huh!”

“Like, the actual woods around our house?”

“Of course baby. Everyone lives in the woods, who do you think you hear howling every now and again when the moon is full? If you’d like, you can spend your moon time with your Grandpa and Granny, or Papa Jonathan and Momma Erina will be there to take care of you too!”

The way your mother put it, it was like being a werewolf was as simple as going on a fucking family vacation every month.

When the pain came back you didn’t care to even acknowledge the insanity of your mother’s nonchalance. All you knew was that it felt as though somebody was taking you by the arms and legs trying to yank them out of the sockets.

“It hurts...” you cried, “Can I please have something for the pain?”

“No honey... Now that it’s taking over, we can’t give you any anti inflammatories for the pain, it’s too dangerous. We have to be very careful with certain foods too, no chocolates or onions, no coffee, no more cooked bones, no nuts, no avocado. You’ll have to be very careful with your diet from now on, those things can make you very sick. But I have an idea, maybe it will help if you shift completely and we get some food in you.”

“How do I do that?”

“Just relax, don’t tense up because of the pain, it just has to happen. Breathing helps as well, if you want, mommy can shift with you and I’ll show you how to breathe.”

She shooed Jotaro out of the bathroom, giving him some sort of a nonverbal signal that made him snap to attention, for obvious reasons she explained that it would be best to do it in private. You could hear Jotaro on the phone with someone, informing them of your latest development with the Joestar gene and instructing them to bring lots of something, whatever it was you didn’t catch it because your mother closed the door behind her. She helped you change and folded your clothes painstakingly, holding your hands in hers as she instructed you to keep your eyes trained on hers.

“In and out sweetheart.” She told you, inhaling through the nose and exhaling out through the mouth. “In... and out...”

She made a soft sound with her pursed lips, and you mimicked her even though your body was in excruciating pain. Eventually you could actually feel the smoothness of the transition, once the tension left your body you noticed the pain had disappeared and your bones just simply shifted out of place and wherever they needed to go. When you finally came to, you noticed that the world was a whole hell of a lot bigger, a fact that made you completely terrified. Your whole body was seized by shaking and it only made your fear worse, but when you looked at the mass of cream colored fur in front of you, you actually voiced your fear with a loud yelp.

“Baby, shhh, it’s mama.”

A large wet nose pressed against your soft cheeks, a large warm wet tongue lathed at your face, so familiar... you felt like you remembered something like this, maybe when you were a baby, a memory of you cold and wriggling against the same warm cream colored fur surfaced and soothed you somewhat. When you finally looked up, you immediately recognized the warm green eyes staring lovingly back at you.

“Mama...” your voice was startling, almost high pitched. When you looked down at yourself, you noticed little beany paws where your feet and hands should have been, completely covered head to toe in fuzz the color of your hair.

Making yourself go cross eyed revealed a soft muzzle and little black nose, but it hurt to focus too much and you had to stop, turning to the side and noticing a soft rotund puppy body where your own used to be. You were still the same size, but when compared to the adult body of your mother, you felt incredibly small. She was gigantic, rear end pressing against the door as she struggled to stoop in the bathroom, a huge bushy tail nearly the size of your body thumping against the sink and displacing a couple of toothbrushes.

“It’s okay baby. There’s a lot of changes happening, and when you’re born into it you’re luckier than if you’d been bitten like your Granny Suzie or your great Granny Lisa Lisa. Everything is gradual, and you’re not going to burn so much energy. It’s so much easier going through this, you will be smaller than the rest of us for a while until you’re out of high school, but that’s ok. It’s just like growing up all over again, except this goes much faster, isn’t that exciting?”

You couldn’t help the whine that escaped as she mouthed your neck and picked you up. Being dangled from this height didn’t exactly help you when you were already a fearful person to begin with, and it certainly didn’t help that your mother was now the size of the mega fauna they had at the museums. But it was all a matter of perspective. You’d never seen a wolf this close before, only from far away at the zoo on rare occasions, and certainly not from the perspective of being small enough that her mouth almost dwarfed your body, her hot breath steaming on your pelt as she scratched at the closed door with a large paw.

When it opened, Jotaro was there, looking far too annoyed at the fact that you made such a fuss about your changes. He raised an eyebrow as your mother tried to wriggle out of the narrow door frame into the hall with you still in her mouth, and even more shocking was the fact that after she’d placed you delicately on her oversized bed to snuggle with you, you saw Jotaro just close his eyes and lose himself into his own impossibly large wolf form, not caring that his clothes ripped. He laid his head next to you, nosing you as your mother’s bushy tail encircled you protectively, and she began to clean you in a similar manner to a cat cleaning a kitten. Was it the same for canids? Probably. You’d never owned a dog before and suddenly you were very aware of why this was. Especially the way your brother acted, he was a grumpy asshole as a person, you could only imagine what he was like as a monster.

Curiosity compelled you to look around the room, everything so different from a wolfy perspective. Your perception of colors was vastly different, as was the way you perceived the room itself. Often you’d find yourself staring at things that seemed to mystify the primal part of your brain. You were compelled to gnaw at the tassels on your mother’s bedspread, but her gentle nip on your ear discouraged you. Things you knew to be red and green were nearly invisible, fading to grey or an interesting shade of yellow that you didn’t think could exist. Her dresser table interested you the most, as you could see your little ears in the reflection. Lifting your head up a little bit more however, that was a different story as the human reasoning part of your brain suddenly seemed to shut down.

“MAMA!” Your voice was a shrill scream!

You stood on your hind legs and began screaming, hackles raised and your poor little tail between your legs. The sounds you made were so loud and scared that it made your brother flinch.

“MAMA MAMA MAMA MAMA MAMA! THERES A MONSTER ON THE DRESSER! THERES A MONSTER ON THE DRESSER! MAMA HELP ME THERES A MONSTER ON THE DRESSER!”

...

“Oh that’s adorable Jonathan! Where’d you find that?”

“It was mine when I was a pup!” Jonathan Joestar said, a look of pride on his face as Suzie examined the tiny blue collar with a brass bell he had in his hands. “My mother got it for me because I had a tendency to wander, this way Holly can use it on the little one. Jotaro was too big for it, but I figure it’s just the size for my little bundle of joy!”

“I figured it would be best to just bring meat, and lots of it considering how ravenous of an appetite Jotaro had when he turned.” Joseph Joestar insisted, he and his wife carrying two large fresh kills apiece.

“We can’t feed the baby that!” Jonathan’s wife Erina looked scandalized, holding far too many sweaters that looked similar to the ones pet owners got for their spoiled dogs. “We’re just going to get the little one dirty, and then Holly’s going to have to clean up the mess later on after we make sure the little one is asleep.”

“Once we get the little one fed, then we can give out presents, matter of fact it was very smart of Joseph to bring so much. Whatever the little one doesn’t eat, Holly and Jotaro can have.” reasoned Jonathan’s son, a hulking creature named George who was every bit the spitting image of his father, and the only one of the bunch comfortable enough in the open to remain in wolf form. “Better to be full of food than stressing about the new changes on an empty stomach. Especially if the two of them had to waste energy and shift from the sound of Jotaro’s phone call. It wouldn’t hurt to be fully shifted when we see them either. After all, Holly is the alpha, it would be helpful for her to be surrounded by familiar faces instead of a bunch of humans.”

They all agreed, stopping short of the little cabin in the woods where Holly lived with her two children, helping each other to change out of clothes and stashing them in strategic places on the porch before transforming into creatures so large some of them had to hang back, unable to fit on the small space of the porch. Jonathan took the lead, a smile on his canine face as he politely scratched at the door.

“Jojo!” He barked, tail thumping wildly against the wall as he scratched the door again. “Jojo it’s us! Please let us in!”

He was interrupted by the shrill sound of a puppy’s yelping, the door flying open only for the mega wolf to be nearly bowled over by a very frightened young werewolf being chased by an alpha female.

“HELP! HELP! MONSTER!” You cried, taking off into the woods as your mother chased at your heels.

“Baby! Baby please come back! It was only your reflection! There’s no monster in the house!” Your mother barked after you.

“MONSTER!”

A very irritated and nearly naked Jotaro appeared at the door much to everyone’s shock, scratching his rear through the leftover shreds of his pants.

“Good grief, at least you brought me something to eat...”

There wasn’t even time to scold him for taking a large portion of the kill, he simply took it and went back indoors, dragging it off into a corner to gorge while Jonathan tried to help your mother chase you down.

[consumedkings-archive]

43. “Is the weight of your sins too heavy?” and 42. “Are you flirting with me?” for John x Elliot? ☺️☺️

sfHGKASDF gosh this one was so fun. I played around with a couple of different scenarios but settled on a sort-of-AU, I hope you like it!! Tysm lovely!!  (ꈍᴗꈍ)

John/Elliot + “Is the weight of your sins too heavy?” + “Are you flirting with me?” ~800 words! 

Taken from this prompt list; feel free to send in more! These are a blast.  ♡

“You look troubled, deputy,” John drawled from the window of his expensive, sporty car—the kind which was not driven in Hope County unless it was passing through, and which she had seen enough times to know was his.

Elliot wasn’t stupid. She knew John Seed—or Duncan, or whoever and whatever he was—it didn’t matter, because she knew him. She knew his type. She’d met him once, in a bar, and he might not have remembered her: but she sure as fuck remembered him.

“You blew through two red lights, Mr. Seed,” Elliot replied flatly. “I find that troubling.”

“That doesn’t sound like me at all.” She could see his eyes squint behind the blue of his sunglasses as he tried to read her last name. “Have we met before, Deputy… Honeysett? That’s a nice last name. Sounds sweet.”

Elliot pushed her own sunglasses down on her nose, one arm propped up against the frame of the car as she stared at John. He flashed what she could only assume to be his most charming smile, and she thought, Fucking Seed boys.

“You were also driving thirty miles over the speed limit,” she continued, as though he hadn’t said anything to her at all, and she pulled her hand off of his car to start detailing his criminal offenses. It was unfortunate someone couldn’t be ticketed for being handsome and a fuckhead at the same time, she thought absently. “That’s two red lights in addition to speeding, so that’ll be five hundred and ninety-two dollars, Mr. Seed.”

“Pardon? There’s no way that a fucking speeding ticket is five hundred dollars.”

“I’ll speak slowly so that you understand,” Elliot snapped. “Two red lights is forty-eight dollars per light. Speeding thirty miles over the speed limit is two hundred dollars—”

“That is not nearly six hundred dollars—”

“—but when you speed in a school zone,” she finished, “you get ticketed double the standard amount. Five hundred and ninety two dollars.” Her gaze flickered down to his lap. “And you haven’t got your seatbelt on. I’m afraid that’s an additional one hundred and twenty-four dollars, Mr. Seed, which brings you to a remarkable seven hundred and sixteen dollars.”

John scoffed, and when she slapped the ticket into his hand, he pushed his glasses up onto his head to look at her. “You really are troubled, aren’t you?” he sighed. “So tired. Shouldering a burden you shouldn’t have to. I’m certain you don’t enjoy this. So what is it, then?” A dark brow arched loftily at her. “Is the weight of your sins too heavy?”

There was something wicked about the way he said it, purring the words at her, pretty like an oil-slick and twice as poisonous; he was certainly maintaining too much eye contact for her to take his words as a genuine interest in her immortal soul and what sins it might have been bearing.

“Isn’t the consideration of where I’m going after death your brother’s job?” she deadpanned. John grinned wolfishly.

“I’m always willing to make an exception and branch out,” he ventured slyly, “for the right woman.”

“Mr. Seed,” Elliot said, carefully punching each word on the way out of her mouth, “are you flirting with me?”

He looked awfully and dreadfully pleased with himself, and he tossed the ticket onto his passenger seat before he leaned up to his window a little. John’s gaze traveled over her once, very deliberately, before he said, “Is it working?”

A little, she thought absently, but not enough to get you out of this mess, you fucker.

“Bribing an officer is a felony,” she replied, offering him her best smile. “So, you tell me. Is it?”

John’s expression flattened. His lips pressed together and he sighed. “Just a little friendly, small-town banter, Deputy Honeysett,” he remarked casually. “Don’t take it so seriously.”

“I won’t.” She straightened up, slapping the top of his car once. “Have a pleasant afternoon.”

“Wait, I do know you,” John said suddenly, when she had started to turn away. “From the bar, a year ago, wasn’t it? You’re friends with that…” He snapped his fingers as he tried to remember. “Well, anyway, I remember you. Hard not to, when we had such a strong, instant connection, don’t you think?”

Elliot felt embarrassment crawl up her throat. Popping her sunglasses back up on her nose, she gritted her teeth and called over her shoulder, “Mr. Seed, I love writing tickets. If you’d like to continue giving me a chance to do what I love, you’re more than welcome to, but if not I suggest you carry on with your day.” Fucker.

“Sure thing, deputy!” His voice was a thousand times lighter than it had been, delighted at his having remembered her, at knowing that there had been some kind of connection between them once, many moons ago. If he thinks that’s going to get him out of shit, she thought, he’s in trouble. “It was lovely seeing you again.”

Elliot slid into the driver’s side of her car, slamming the door and watching as John slowly pulled off of the side of the street.

“Can’t say the feeling’s mutual,” she muttered, tapping a cigarette out of the carton. “Fuckhead.”