#implied jake/sherry

[crimsonwolfheadcanonsandsnippets]

Cleon Headcanons Part 2

(More headcanons because I love Cleon and have been writing them lately. If you wanna use these headcanons, please @ me so I can read the beautiful Cleon.)

1: After telling Claire that he loves her for the first time, 90% of what he calls her is “my love”. Some people that don’t know them have to ask him who he’s talking about. 

2: Whenever Leon comes back from missions, he clings to Claire. She seems to enjoy the attention until she has to go to work or a meeting. Then she makes him knock it off so she can go about the things that she needs to do. 

3: Claire’s favorite thing to do right before Leon gets back is throw his shoes in the closet, so he’s perpetually confused the next day when he goes looking for more comfortable shoes.  

4: Now that Sherry’s older, Leon and Claire take her to the pub with them when they go to meet the rest of the group of survivors. Leon still covers her ears when someone says something wildly inappropriate like she isn’t a grown ass woman who’s definitely not living with Jake.  5: Leon and Claire are the absolute epitome of the “old married couple” stereotype. They bicker about little things which usually ends in one of them kissing the other and getting their way. The bigger things usually lead to longer arguments and trying to get poor Chris and Jill involved. One time, Leon tried to involve Hunnigan and she shut that down so fast.

[arklay]

RESIDENT EVIL → THE WESKER FAMILY

To the public, little is known of the families behind some of the world’s most renowned bioterrorists, but the question remains: did they play a role in causing their children to walk down the path that they did? Or are these individuals simply ambitious criminals with delusions of grandeur?

For Diana Wesker (née Afanasyeva), her introduction into the bioweapons black market trade was upon discovering her employers were using her research into limb regeneration with salamanders to further their experiments in creating enhanced soldiers, instead of developing human therapies with which she was recruited for. Although the prospect of using biological weapons in the military did not appeal to her, the concept remained fascinating for her own selfish endeavours. Born on the 27th of October, 1963 in Sydney, Australia to Russian immigrant parents, Diana had harsh expectations placed upon her at a young age, ones that no matter how hard she tried she could never live up to. Her mother, Tatyana, was an unfeeling woman, absent for long stretches of time with little regard to how it affected her daughters, much more concerned with her craft as an accomplished opera singer. Viktor was no better. A strict man whose role as father and ballet master blurred, he pushed his girls to one day follow in his footsteps. Whilst Sofia enjoyed ballet, and went on to become a professional ballet dancer, Diana’s heart was set on going into the field of biology. She wished to make a name for herself, separate from her family – to which she succeeded.

Diana was married to former U.S. Marine, Dave Monroe, for only a year until he was declared dead in 1992 after succumbing to injuries sustained in a horrific car accident. Foul play was ruled out while Diana played the role of the grief-stricken widow, but in reality, she had snapped after years of mistreatment at her husband’s hands, and opted for something she could pass off as an accident to be free of him. For years she believed he was dead – and he was, legally – but that proved to not be the case when he found his way back into her life again in 1999. Unbeknownst to her, she had been lied to by the police and coroner, who were paid off by her employers when they took Dave’s body for themselves and used him as one of their first test subjects in developing supersoldiers. Before he could ever hurt her again, Diana’s second husband, Albert Wesker, tracked the man down, captured him and tortured him, before allowing Diana to get her violent and bloody revenge.

The origins of Albert Wesker’s involvement in bioterrorism, alongside his twin sister, Alex, are much different than that of Diana’s. The two hail from London, Canada, but unfortunately, they hold no memories of their lives there, nor what happened to their biological parents when they were eight years old. Agents of Oswell E. Spencer, an aristocratic billionaire and eugenicist, took the twins from their home and executed their parents as per Spencer’s orders. Albert and Alex were then placed in a home funded by the Spencer Foundation where they were given new names and a privileged upbringing. They had access to the best education possible, free to pursue whichever field they decided, but it was by no accident they both went into virology and bioengineering; at home, their adoptive parents – agents whom they believed to be their real parents – instilled them with the beliefs of Oswell E. Spencer, harbouring disdain for war and pestilence, and believing humans to be an evolutionary dead-end in need of a rebirth. They were only two of the hundreds of children “adopted” as part of what is known as Project W, a plan intended to develop an advanced race of human beings. The most promising candidates were headhunted by Umbrella Pharmaceuticals, the twins amongst them, where they went on to create bioweapons for the company founded by none other than the man who had handpicked them for his plan. The final stage of this was to infect the thirteen Spencer saw fit, however, only two survived; Albert received the intended effects, now possessing superhuman abilities, however, Alex was only offered more time to live due to her terminal degenerative illness.

In the summer of 1995, Diana was working undercover within Umbrella to gather development data on their projects for her company. Here, she had a chance encounter with Albert, an intelligence officer at the time, which permanently altered the course of her life. The two were never seen far from one another’s side, marrying in 1998, and they went on to become notorious in the bioweapons industry. The development of the Uroboros virus was where things took a turn for the worst. Although Diana’s infection was successful and she bore abilities that rivalled her husband’s, the plan itself did not succeed as they had hoped, and almost cost Albert his life at the hands of his former subordinates.

Now, they work within the shadows, with Diana declared missing and Albert believed to be dead. Their legacy, however, lives on with the mark they left on the world. As visionaries in their field, they influenced bioterror attacks carried out by countless individuals and organisations. In turn, they also inspired others to fight against such atrocities. One such person happens to be Albert’s son from a former relationship, Jake Müller, whose existence he was unaware of.

[hidingoutbackstage]

genuine question bc i haven't played the RE games: why is Jake "neutral to the community" so funny? i don't know these guys maybe be kissed a man on screen

Gdddd I WISH he kissed another man on screen

Ok so what happened was that someone made a post on Tumblr that was a list of sexuality headcanons for RE characters. Whatever, people do it all the time, no biggie. I have my issues with this list for a lot of reasons I won’t get into, but the funniest bit HAD to be this part:

What the fuck does it mean to be “neutral” to the LGBT community? Does the parentheses imply that he only cares about gay people getting insulted for their sexualities if they’re people he’s friends with, that if a random stranger was getting hate crimed he’d look the other way? And then the cherry on top is that right after they declare Jake to be “neutral to the community” the VERY NEXT ENTRY on the list says that another character is also straight, but specifically that “she’s an ally” LIKE???? SO JAKE IS EXPLICITLY NOT AN ALLY AND DOES NOT CARE ABOUT LGBT PEOPLE?? THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GOING WITH?

And in the context of who Jake is as a character it’s even funnier bc like. Jake’s entire character arc in the game is about being less selfish and doing things for the greater good of humanity and others and learning to care about other people. Him and Sherry, lil miss ally, are partners (not romantically) in their game and she’s the one that brings out the “good” in him. But she can’t convince him to care about gay people I guess. Whatever

Anyway here’s art of him making out with a man that I really like #mullvansforever

[sapphire-weapon]

Completely random from all of your other asks, but what is your analysis on Cleon if you haven’t done one before? I know there has been both canonical flirting and sexual tension before in RE2R and Infinite Darkness (as confirmed by VA’s and director), and as much as I love Cleon, I’m really interested in a deeper analysis on them, especially since Leon has had canonical romantic interactions with multiple characters.

In RE2R and ID, he’s had canonical romantic interactions with Claire, and in RE4R he’s had canonical romantic interactions with Ashley. I also feel like his romantic interactions with Ada have mostly faded. I multi-ship Cleon, Leshley, and Aeon but I also love looking more deeply into them (even if it isn’t exactly what I like to hear or see, I can always play pretend in my head when I feel like it LMAO but I can accept that the deeper set of things may be different than my own world/interpretation.)

In the end, I have a feeling Capcom doesn’t give anything an “official” canon, likely to give either an open ending for romance or almost nothing at all tbh. I am curious to see where they would go given the romantic interactions Leon has had with different characters and the direction they’ve now taken Aeon.

I’m very curious on what your analysis may be on them! I do really love Cleon, but seeing a deeper analysis on them that isn’t from me would be super interesting to see! I love your analysis on different characters and ships, you do a good job at diving into them with an open mind of deeper understandings.

Thank you!

i think we need to be really, really careful about what we classify as "romantic."

because while you're right that leon and claire have canonical sexual tension, and the argument can be made that they're canonically attracted to each other, i don't think we should be calling that "romance."

there are a lot of characters in RE that are canonically attracted to each other. sexual tension exists in this series. excella was canonically attracted to wesker. jessica was canonically attracted to chris. OG carlos was canonically attracted to jill. OG leon was canonically attracted to hunnigan. there's canonical sexual tension between sherry and jake. there's canonical sexual tension between chris and jill. there's canonical sexual tension between remake leon and remake krauser. there's canonical sexual tension between billy and rebecca.

but we wouldn't call any of those relationships romantic. they're not romances.

"romance" implies and involves a very specific set of tropes, themes, and/or story beats centered on the relationship between two characters.

and cleon does not have that and has never had that.

i enjoy cleon, but you can't make the case that it has ever been canonically romantic.

which is why i don't have analysis for them. i only have headcanons.

[henry-thats-unsafe]

rolls into ur inbox. top 5 re6 facts

RESIDENT EVIL 6 FACTS.

NUMBAH 1 - One of the main enemies boss forms is, in this order, machine gun dog, t rex, giant fly

NUMBAH 2 - Leon Kennedy kills his best friend, the President of the United States

NUMBAH 3 - They give Chris Redfield amnesia which makes him misogynistic for some reason-- which implies that's his default state and he actively taught himself to be normal to women

NUMBAH 4 - They made Wesker canonically Fuck (He has a son named Jake and I love him he looks just like his dad but ginger)

NUMBAH 5 - Leon, as per usual, gets dragged around by a lady who refuses to tell him Anything. He knows Nothing the entire game. Helena refuses to elaborate. Another example of Leon getting girl bossed.

Bonus Fact: You get extra points for making Chris, Piers, Jake, Sherry, or Ada play on playground equipment.

Bonus Leon Quote (said in a church): "I'd say god was watching over us, but I'm pretty sure we're alone..." edgy loser my beloved <3

[ao3feed-adaleon]

Resident Evil: Apollyon Rising

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/T4BEIYq by the_anonymous_scholar "Time burns away all memories if you let it." —— For years, Zadok Burns has struggled to make a new life for himself from what was given to him. Since his rescue from the laboratory that created him, he has known only constant pain and fear that one day, the virus they fused within his DNA would overpower him — and he'd lose himself forever. And then it happened. One fatal mishap almost cost him the life of the very person he loved, and in his shame and horror, he sent himself away out of punishment. But it was never enough. A year later, nothing has changed. With the B.S.A.A. breathing down his neck, and the DSO trying to bring him back, there's only so many places he can hide. Until one day, he decides to stop running. Reunited with the few friends he ever had, Zadok knows he can't stay away forever. One day, the isolation and loneliness would kill him, and that time had yet to come. Yet in the midst of everything, he should have known his creators would still want him back. When a mission goes wrong in every way, Zadok is caught with only two choices: return to Umbrella and save his friends, or watch them all suffer a fate worse than death. Words: 2996, Chapters: 3/30, Language: English Series: Part 1 of THE APOLLYON TRILOGY Fandoms: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M, M/M, Gen Characters: Original Male Character(s), Leon S. Kennedy, Claire Redfield, Chris Redfield (Resident Evil), Rebecca Chambers, Jill Valentine, Sherry Birkin, Carlos Oliveira, Ada Wong, Luis Serra, Jake Muller, Original Female Character(s) Relationships: Chris Redfield/Jill Valentine, Carlos Oliveira/Jill Valentine, Leon S. Kennedy/Original Male Character(s), Leon S. Kennedy/Ada Wong Additional Tags: Retelling, Hurt No Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, T-Virus (Resident Evil), G-Virus (Resident Evil), Virus, Bio Organic Weapons | B.O.W.s (Resident Evil), Science Experiments, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Past Relationship(s), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Post-Break Up, Post-Resident Evil 6, Heavy Angst, Explosions, Major Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Leon S. Kennedy has PTSD, Claire Redfield is a Good Friend, Leon S. Kennedy is Bad at Feelings, Implied Sexual Content, Non-Explicit Sex, Self-Insert, Mad Scientists, Biological Weapons, Biological Warfare, Zombies, Resident Evil - Freeform read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/T4BEIYq

[sterek-ao3feed]

The Only Exception

Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/60384346

by AdelineRae96

In an alternate timeline where Stiles Stilinski from Teen Wolf undergoes a transformation and adopts a new identity as Miloslava Gajos, an independent and resourceful woman, she finds herself thrust into a world far more dangerous and complex than anything she could have imagined. Now living under the alias of Milo, she has carved out a life as a skilled survivor in a world ravaged by bio-terrorism, and soon her path crosses with Chris Redfield, the infamous BSAA (Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance) agent known for his unrelenting fight against bioweapons.

Words: 15366, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Of Zombies and Werewolves

Fandoms: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Female Stiles Stilinski (Miloslava Gajos), Chris Redfield, Claire Redfield, Original Character Redfield Twins, Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale, Noah Stilinski, Piers Nivans, Sherry Birkin, Jake Muller, Leon S. Kennedy, Adam Bedford, Derek C. Simmons, Carla Radames, Mother Miranda (Resident Evil), Ethan Winters, Mia Winters, Rosemary Winters (Resident Evil), Hound Wolf Squad (Resident Evil)

Relationships: Miloslava Gajos/Chris Redfield, Leon S. Kennedy/Claire Redfield, Carlos Oliveira/Jill Valentine, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Sherry Birkin/Jake Muller, Miloslava Gajos & Stiles Stilinski

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst with a Happy Ending, One-Sided Attraction, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Magic, Character Death, Zombies, Supernatural Elements

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60384346

[rescuefield-arch1]

after managing to make BSAA and DSO reach an agreement about working together, claire had genuinely thought that having to be the woman in the middle might come to an end - how wrong she was. with terrasave getting roped in into their modus operandi schemes, claire can't help but notice that she's spending even more time in dc than she actually would.

@priceforeverything ft. jake : you didn’t even hear me out

there's a sigh pushing past slightly parted lips, promptly conceiled by taking a sip of wine from her glass. work seems to follow her everywhere even though she's trying so hard to separate it from her private life - perhaps separating group of friends would be a good idea too. "i am listening, jake." only because sherry made puppy eyes in her direction, but that's the type of classified information she would never disclose.

"these are all interesting inputs but technically you should talk about it to an higher up," a pause, thought crossing to mind for a moment. "we could use someone with your expertise and knowledge at terrasave, unless you'd rather remain in dc or keep your current contract." one quick look to the blonde standing a few feet from them, unassuming, not implying anything on her part at least. "if you're interested i can put you in contact with gina foley, she's in hr."

[echidnana]

JUST WATCHED DEATH ISLAND!!!! some thoughts below the cut!!!

so like. was it a good movie? no. did we thoroughly enjoy it? YES I wish they put all the mcs in every movie. make one with sheva or Carlos or Helena or Jake or sherry in it. please

they like. butchered Chris's character but when he brought up piers I genuinely almost started crying I can't believe they included that 😭 like I was not expecting it at all

I REALLY wish they didn't just use Jill's re3make look, it feels like a cheap way out of redesigning her character. like she's been through so much and her appearance should reflect that. they should've at least given her blonde roots or a different outfit :(

Leon was SO funny he felt extra quippy and seeing him interact with Jill was so cute!!! like they seem like friends they work so well together

why was Chris so obsessed with Jill. it was annoying. like 1) Jill can 100% handle herself and 2) his sister is RIGHT there. like where is the concern for Claire huh 🤨 (tbh Chris's writing was just super bad. he was cardboard)

also the villain was stupid. like we already know re doesn't know how to write an antagonist but this one especially sucked. he's like you don't know what it's like >:( beating your best friend to death >:( like what

why was maria there. it's like they were writing the movie and were like oh fuck we put her at the end of vendetta implying she'd be in another one. gotta put her in there. (I will say the fight scenes with her were really fucking cool)

overall just seeing the five mcs interact was super cool, Jill and Claire were so cute

[godtier]

continuing on here:

re: DC/UC:

to be clear, i was never intending to imply that DC/UC had any bearing on remake currently. the issue i took was the implication that they aren't canon to OG. i'm of the belief that until we see something otherwise IN remake, it's not canon to remake.

re: HUNK's section in RE2:

i'm not entirely sure what other evidence you need for the events that occurred in RE2. it almost sounds like you're working under the assumption that HUNK was introduced in RE3 OG? if that's the case, i'm here to tell you that he was not introduced in the RE3 OG epilogue. he was in RE2 OG as well, doing the same exact thing i outlined previously.

that's what his entire scenario is in not only RE2 remake, but RE2 OG as well. it's called "the 4th survivor" (he's the 4th confirmed survivor after leon, claire, and sherry, because ada was a big question mark at the time) and is a canon side-story that you unlock in OG after playing through both leon and claire's scenarios (either leon a/claire b OR claire a/leon b) AND A-ranking at least one of those playthroughs.

whether or not it's a challenge mode is irrelevant because it's a canon event that happened and was written as such by both the original RE2 devs and the RE2 remake devs.

i'm not quite sure why you are seemingly brushing off or downplaying certain aspects of canon as "it's just a bonus" when they've been repeatedly referenced by the devs, reinserted into RE2 remake, and referenced elsewhere in canon materials. you did the same thing regarding the rebecca picture.

it's not a good practice to brush off things in canon you don't like, don't appreciate, or think are unimportant as "this was done because of the fans" or "it's just a meaningless challenge mode" or "it's just a dumb easter egg." it doesn't matter what they are functionally if they're considered canon events by the dev team. leon/ada was summarily subverted in remake's storyline because of fans but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be considered when analyzing the relationship that the two of them have or had in remake. unless the devs outright say "this was a joke," there's no reason to consider otherwise.

but fact of the matter is that you initially claimed that ada was amongst a bunch of others that were sent into raccoon city and came out as a failure. the problem with that is that HUNK was not a failure, so your analysis is inherently flawed. whether you find his actions important or not is irrelevant. the analysis you're pushing as canon is wrong.

if you want me to go into more detail about HUNK and what his purpose is in the story overall at the specific time of RE2, i can. but for now, that's all i will say on the matter of HUNK.

re: jake and his mom:

i understand that it was a throwaway comment, but it's extremely odd to me that you're saying you'll take the timeline into consideration but still don't think he has sex willingly? but i guess if that's what you want to headcanon, then go for it. like i said, idgaf about people's headcanons, it's when it's pushed as canon fact that i take issue.

it's important to remember that if you're going to make claims about a character's history that you get the full facts going forward because it can and will be challenged, especially in this fandom.

re: ada and wesker:

tbqh i really don't care one way or the other if they fuck or not. ada in OG fucked simmons, who was very much her paycheck in RE6, so it's not out of the realm of possibility that she'd do the same with wesker. whether or not that carries over to remake i feel depends on how you look at their interactions. to me, they read sexual.

and to pivot back on ada a bit more, i also don't think there's anything inherently wrong with commenting on her sexuality. she's the most sexual character in the series and in remake, that doesn't appear to be changing. they just seem to be fleshing her out in addition to her sexual nature, which is good. but there's nothing wrong with her being sexual on its own. and given the lines they wrote for her, i don't think capcom is going to rein in that angle any time soon.

Here’s some RE Separate Ways analysis that isn’t about shipping because I like Ada. I’m happy her DLC actually focuses on her, but some of the takes I’m seeing are Insufferable. Main statements in bold for ease of reading and skipping purposes.

-Wesker and Ada haven’t been working together consistently for the past 6 years. This dripless bitch is calling Ada every five minutes to babysit her. I don’t think that’s the relationship dynamic of someone you’re regularly employed under, and when it is, Ada is not the type of character to tolerate that behavior for 6 years. We know Ada is a contract worker. We can understand she’s worked for Wesker on and off, but she’s a freelance agent period. She must’ve done enough jobs for Wesker that he feels the need to check on her and have this constant reporting in to make sure she stays on task since he’s clearly used to her not always following his orders. He 100% hired her for this assignment because he knew the situation and compared to the other options, she had the highest survival chances. Which, he was right. High risk, high reward.

Sometimes Wesker’s babysitting works: Ada holding Luis at gunpoint when he tries to negotiate saving Leon and Ashley. Sometimes he knows when to step away: “Keep your dog.” All of it is in the effort to get what he wants. Look, he let her live. He worked with S.T.A.R.S for years and wanted them all dead. If he worked with Ada regularly and she pulled this shit with the amber, he would’ve had that helicopter blown out of the sky. There’s always some restraint with personal distance, especially with a guy who thinks so highly of himself.

-Luis is a drama queen. In the regular game, Luis acts cool and under control to the best of his abilities around Leon and Ashley. It’s a part of his newly found hero-complex even though he does still know when to ask for help: “save me prince charming!” In the DLC, we see the real side of Luis. The one who’s scared, and dramatic, and knows when he’s not shooting with a loaded gun so to speak. When Ada tells him to leave her to fight, he does. He wants to help, but his respect for her abilities sends him fleeing like she orders him to. Also, like every scientist, he has zero self-preservation! He ran into a fire that clearly would kill him to get medicine. And the exchange afterwards? “No! Now you’ll all die!” “Make some more medicine.” “Oh..yeah…I can do that. I do have that ability.”

The flamenco dance. “Are you mad at me???🥺 You’re mad at me!😭” This man understands Ada can kill him without blinking, but still can’t keep his composure around her. This is such a fun dynamic to explore in fic for expansion stories and “Luis lives” au’s. The DLC gives him breaks to freak out and panic, whereas the main game holds the “cool persona” moments after Leon saves him. Even his dying words to Ada. This man is bleeding to death and still can’t shut up. I love him.

Okay, that’s all I gotta say about the loser men. Now for the star of the DLC. Ada. :)

-Ada “Sans Undertale go into my eyes” Wong. The methods Ada uses in the DLC are fun and appropriate. It’s not invasive and in your face unlike another agent, but more subtle. She can track footprints, fingerprints, gauge the safe distance required for her grappling hook, and she knows when she needs to fight and whens he needs to run. Her practicality has always been the cleanest of the entire cast due to her being a spy, but this time we actually get to see this trait utilized through her tools.

-Ada is silly and quips her own jokes to get through it. Something I’m not seeing anyone talk about including the aeon people who are claiming anything they can get, is this specific humor parallel between Leon and Ada in the remake. Both of them have gone through the horrors of Raccoon City. Both of them went right back into very difficult military in function style work which always has a body count. I talked about Leon’s humor coping mechanism here [X], but to hear Ada do the same thing? I feel like they went under the radar because they don’t sound as stupid as Leon’s quips, but they are still so stupid. “Nighty night.” “Lights out.” “Bring me a real challenge next time.” “Now look at the mess you’ve made.” “You think that gun will be enough?” She and Leon even share the same “Next,” line!

If I had 80GB to spare on the game, I’d see just how many more I could get out of her. Like, these are dumb as hell. She’s found a method to cope with the horrors she’s witnessing that just so happens to coincide with Leon’s. I’m not saying this as a marker of whatever romance you’ve tossed them in or even to diss any other romances. What I am saying is that they have a similar type of mental illness resulting from trauma, and they ended up using the exact same coping method despite never seeing each other.

Ada fans who hate Leon! This opens a door for you when it comes to character analysis and how Ada deals with her PTSD and/or depression! Run through it RIGHT NOW!

-Ada’s infection pulls a lot more weight than it seems. I’ve seen some people say Ada’s parasite should’ve been removed the same as Leon’s and Ashley’s. (Which is an extremely unsubtle argument to get them all in the same room for your shipping nonsense.) However, something I noticed with the DLC were the parallels to the troubles in RE2. The Black Robe/U-3/Pesenta monster is the first time where we get to see Ada dealing with a stalking enemy. Due to RE4 being so much more plot-lined streamed to maintain the flow of gameplay, these events were not allowed to be random, but the narrative purpose remains. Ada gets to have a stalking enemy in her DLC like Claire and Leon did in RE2 with the addition of a hubris check.

The hubris check? Well, Ada has never been infected until this DLC. In the original games, she can step back and watch people die because she doesn’t know what it feels like. Now she knows what it feels like. The lack of control. The pain. The slow turning. Her job has had her flirting with death for years, but not in a way she can’t fiddle with the odds. A parasite is not something a person can distract with words. The action to steal the amber is backed up via personal experience not just a morality code slapped on. The addition of Wesker’s correction to “billions of causalities” means she’s included in that number and just cements her incentive to flee. She’s not doing this for Leon. She’s not doing this for Luis. She’s doing this for herself, and if it so happens to help other people then it is what it is. After being on both sides of the coin when it comes to viruses, she can no longer function as entirely impartial to the work she’s doing.

-Ada doesn’t ask for permission but asks for forgiveness. Don’t take this phrasing literally. She doesn’t ask Wesker to forgive her. What this means is that she’ll do something before asking, and if it upsets people then she’ll course correct. Her job is not the kind of job where she needs to take orders for every action she implements which is why Wesker calling every five minutes was annoying as hell. In the OG RE4 she kind of argues with Wesker for Leon to live for “his usefulness”, but it’s swiftly shut down until it’s convenient to Wesker for Leon to live. This forces her to sneak around and betray Wesker multiple times to save Leon secretly, and the concept rightfully gets thrown into the garbage for the remake DLC.

The scene in the bedroom where Wesker tells Ada not to become a liability after taking her blood? Ada doesn’t fight to get her shit back. Some people said this was flirting. Wrong. This is Ada seeking forgiveness after the fuck up of passing out in the middle of an active field by letting Wesker walk off with an infection sample. She then makes sure not to fuck up a second time in the same way, and she doesn’t. She learns the signs of her parasite so in case she does pass out again, she’ll be somewhere much less conspicuous. She listens for the changes in her environment and the feelings in her body and prepares herself for what’s next.

-Ada saves Leon and Ashley for Luis’ sake. I stated earlier that Ada’s action to take the amber was for her own sake but ends up helping others. This is the exact situation going on when Luis talks about getting the suppressant. She needs the suppressant in order to do her job and kill the black robe so she can heal. It just so happens that Leon and Ashley need the suppressant for survival reasons too. They are an afterthought until Luis dies.

We watch Ada question Wesker and his plans all throughout this DLC, and she comes to her own conclusions after her experience working with him. She could’ve gotten the amber back and let the whole place blow into smithereens like Wesker intended. Who cares about the president’s daughter? Who cares about another dead federal agent? Luis did. He cared so much he died for it, and just like that other clown in Raccoon City (aka her), she got emotionally attached. If there was anything she could’ve done for Luis to make his death mean something, it was this act.

-Ada sells Leon’s jacket. This isn’t analysis, but I thought this was funny as hell. ACAB! No exceptions! Freeze your tiddies off, Leon! I don’t give a shit!

-Ada’s new outfit is still better than her old one. It’s still not the best they could’ve given her. I’m also not speaking from a fashion point of view when I say this. In the OG RE4 we see Leon in a jacket which is forcibly removed to show off his pecs to the ladies, but it clearly marks a colder time of year. OG RE4 Ada has arms out, legs out, and tits out because a hoe never gets cold. The sweater dress for the remake re-establishes that it’s colder here because even Luis doesn’t lose his jacket. Ashley doesn’t lose her jacket either until they yoink it off her for ritual reasons. I still hate that the thigh high boots have that heel and would prefer the flats, but that’s going to be in the complaint paragraph below.

-Capcom sexism at play once again. I don’t give a shit about rigs and motion capture or whatever, her walk cycle was 2 adjustments from being full Bayonetta, and I hate it. The ass shots? Disrespectful. Her heels didn’t have to be that high. Never heard of a kitten heel? They exist. The people who worked on RE3 Remake and worked on this DLC sure love to make a woman vomit don’t they? Why the fuck was she so clean the entire game? She was being thrown around and tossed in the dirt a lot, but this woman’s skin is shinier than a waxed apple. Either she has some wet wipes on hand, or god forbid women get filthy. Absolutely zero reason she shouldn’t have been looking as rough as Leon by the time she gets on the helicopter! No reason at all!

That’s all they wrote! I love Ada. I loved this DLC, and I loved the dynamics going on here even though I hated every time Wesker was on screen or opened his mouth at all.

As much as I would love to expand this post and go further into the changed Ada and Leon relationship, I frankly hate all the takes I’ve been seeing so much on either side of the Aeon debate. I hate the ongoing conversation around it so much that I don’t know if I want to discuss this at all. The Aeon should’ve gotten this if not for Luis and Ashley side and the Aeon is dead side going back and forth with each other? All of you put on your clown noses! None of you are looking at this situation objectively to see where the lines cross and where they run alongside each other, and frankly I’m tired! I could clear this whole table off so both of you can get exactly what you want based on what you’re not actually interpreting from this media, but I won’t! Kill each other!

[sluttywizardcowboy]

doodles from the last couple days + silly comic :3

[onlylowercase]

[chaotic-tired-fox]

In terms of getting really obscure facts about my Special Interests(tm) I am a master.

So here’s a whole bunch of obscure Resident Evil facts for y’all!

Part two: here!

Part three: here!

Lemme know if any of these surprised you or if you knew any of these!

☠️ Leon is scared of lightning (Astraphobia) but not thunder. (RE6)

☠️ Chris has a fear of late night phone calls because that’s how he learned of his parents death.

☠️ Piers is very heavily implied to be Bisexual due to a file in Revelations 2 (his concept art also implies this, if you know you know)

☠️ The Hound Wolf Squad is the only squad Chris has had that have all survived the entire game.

☠️ Wesker and Birkin were childhood friends

☠️ The Cerberus are all clones of each other which is why they’re all Doberman

☠️ Leon is a terrible driver, crashing one of just about every vehicle type including cars, a boat, a motorbike, a plane and a helicopter.

☠️ Sheva is one of the only left handed characters

☠️ Wesker wore glasses to hide his emotions (and later his red eyes)

☠️ Chris can play Bass guitar

☠️ Ada Wong isn’t her real name

☠️ Vector is Japanese

☠️ Vector is the only character that can canonically turn invisible (Hunk can too but only in various mercenary modes)

☠️ Hunk is said to respond emotionally to the name ‘Bella’

☠️ The USS soldier who shot Birkin and started the outbreak had the callsign ‘Ghost’

☠️ Nighthawk has two call signs, the other being ‘Lone Wolf’

☠️ Barry Burton and Wesker are the same age however Wesker appeared to stop aging at 38 years old after infection.

☠️ Jake Muller was conceived before Wesker was infected with the Progenitor Virus making his immunity to the C Virus a plot hole.

☠️ Lobo is the only member of the Hound Wolf Squad that had worked with Chris prior to Village. See Heavenly Island

☠️ Piers was introduced in the comic The Marhawa Desire set before RE6

☠️ Chris and Jill both know 7 fighting styles. Leon knows 6

☠️ Lady Dimitrescu is highly implied to be Lesbian

☠️ Heisenberg was the one who told Chris and the Hound Wolf Squad about Miranda (though planned to betray them from the beginning)

☠️ Ethan’s immortality was gained back in RE7 at the dinner table scene with the Bakers as they resurrected him after Jack killed him.

☠️ Piers and Claire kept in contact via email and later phone calls up until his death in China. It is implied he told her nothing about Chris’s amnesia at the time.

☠️ Jill Valentine learned to lock pick from her father who was a French thief

☠️ Leon once considered suicide after the events of RE2 but stayed alive because Sherry needed him

☠️ Leon’s parents were both criminals who died when he was a child. He was inspired to become a cop after the one who rescued him.

☠️ Hunk had an intense rivalry with Nicholai which is why he interfered so much with Vector and Wolfpack.

☠️ Birkin prided himself on being the youngest Umbrella researcher at only 16 until a 10 year old Alexia Ashford came along.

☠️ Wesker made his own blueprints for anti BOW weaponry which later inspired the creations of Thor’s Hammer and modifications based on his original Samurai Edge called the AW Model

☠️Jake Muller is an incredibly gifted pianist

☠️ Chris Redfield was a notorious prankster during his days at STARS

☠️ When Chris went missing after Edonia one of the people Piers contacted was Sheva.

☠️ Leon and Wesker never meet nor interact directly

☠️ Hunk has also never interacted with any of the main characters including Wesker

☠️ During RE2 Wesker/Ada and Hunk were working against each other to obtain the G Virus unknowingly

☠️ Some, if not all of Wolfpack survive the Raccoon City outbreak after sparing Leon, Claire and Sherry and betraying Umbrella.

☠️The BSAA were actively working against Chris and the HWS in Village, implying to even have the green light to kill them.

☠️ Zoe Baker after RE7 is implied to have become an informant for Chris Redfield and a journalist

☠️ Hunk agreed to personally train Vector after they fought to a draw. Vector is also the only character to ever escape from Hunk’s neck snapping headlock.

☠️ The USS were Umbrella’s personal army whilst the UBCS were just hired mercenaries and in the end considered a liability

☠️ Simmons from RE6 was one of the ones responsible for passing the vote to blow up Raccoon City

☠️ About 10% of humans have immunity to the T-Virus and Umbrella never figured out how

☠️ Chief Irons was straight up a serial killer able to cover his tracks thanks to Umbrella’s involvement while also being paid to stay quiet about their experiments

☠️ Hunk developed his own fighting style called Close Quarters Quarantined Battle Zone after Umbrella’s downfall in 2003 in which he became a legendary mercenary.

☠️ Thanks to Shadows of Rose, Chris is implied to still be working well into his 60’s as well as the Hound Wolf Squad.

☠️ ‘K’ from Shadows of Rose is heavily implied to be an older Canine from the HWS

☠️ The new Death Island CGI movie is not only the first time we’ll see Jill in the timeline since 2009 but also the first time we’ll see Leon and Jill onscreen together

[fvrxdrm]

I’ll See You Again (Jake Muller x Reader)

And here is @imgayforgaystuff​ ‘s request. This was longer than intended lmao. Hope you’ll like it :)

Pairing: Jake Muller x GN!Reader

Warning(s): None

*****

“Did you take your dose?”

 You along with your partner, Sherry, ran towards where you heard the faint commotion and saw the guy you’ve been looking for standing beside a body that already seemed lifeless.

 Jake Muller. He supposedly had the antibodies for the C-virus that’s been gradually spreading across the globe and you were tasked to locate him and bring him back to the United States in order for blood samples to be taken for vaccine research. If their hypothesis was correct, this guy could save the world even without handling a gun and transporting from one country to another or something.

 “Yeah, but if you want to take your hit, you gotta sign up with the lady downstairs...” Jake replied. You took a glance at your watch before averting your short gaze towards the body as it dissipated into the fire it created until it was just nothing but an invisible ghost. “... Wouldn’t recommend it, though.”

 “No, question, you’ve got the antibodies.” You rushed towards a rusty metal door where an opening should be and pulled the handle, stepping aside to let your partner and Jake first.

 “Thank you. Wait, what?”

 “You could be the key to saving the world, Jake Muller,” you said and upon hearing this, he just smirked in amusement and laughed it off in his mind. I mean, seriously? Key to saving the whole fucking world? That’s a funny fucking joke, man. His snarky smile was soon dropped though as soon as you heard groans fill the room and you immediately let your heads focus on the matter on hand.

 “Go! I’ll follow right behind you.” They obeyed without any second thoughts and when they finally got in, you gunned down those who got too close before jumping in yourself.

 Sewers. Great! Another day, another life in shitty water.

 You looked for your footing once you’d landed on trash, and shit, and grey fucking water or something, almost getting closer to falling on your ass and swallowing all those caca that had been dumped in there by different hoomans and animals.

 I would rather die if the gods gave me an opportunity to eat shit.

 “You two okay?” You asked.

 “Yeah, you?” Sherry replied.

 “I’m gucci.”

 Not really...

 Your boots would sink into the muck below the water and the smell… UGH! It didn’t help that your stomach was full when you got to your location. But hey, agents gotta do what they gotta do, right?

 Once you found yourself stable on the ground, you pulled out your badge from your pocket and opened it to introduce yourself to Jake but he just waved it off and disregarded it saying that it wasn’t the time right now. You and Sherry exchanged glances.

 “You comin’?

 “After you”

 This is going to be interesting...

*****

“Y/N? Y/N!”

 Your eyes carefully fluttered open at the mention of your name, trying your best to force your eyelids apart but it felt like bricks were weighing them down and all you could make out were two silhouettes rushing towards your side before the world blacked out again against your will.

*****

“Hey, hey, shh... It’s okay, just rest. You got hurt pretty bad.”

 A groan crept up your throat as your head hammered in pain, feeling as if a wrecking ball with Miley Cyrus riding it just repeatedly slammed against you.

 Talk about coming in like a wrecking ball...

 Your eyes cracked open for the second time that night, your E/C optics immediately catching sight of a round head hovering above you.

 “Jake?” You muttered under your breath.

 “Yeah, it’s me.” The said man carefully helped you sit up straight before leaning you against the firm fabric of a tent you were in, checking you again for any hidden injuries that he and Sherry managed to miss while you massaged your temples to ease the aching in your head. When you’d finally calmed down and everything that had happened began to congregate in your brain, your sight spun around and you immediately panicked when you noticed Sherry’s absence.

 “Where’s Sherry?”

 “She went out to get some wood for some fire. I told her to just stay here and I’ll get them instead but she insisted and told me to stay with you.”

 “Fucking hell, Sherry,” you quietly cursed. You stood up from where you were and started walking out the tent but Jake grabbed ahold of your arm before you could even step a foot out.

 “Where are you going?”

 “I’m going to find Sherry. She could get herself killed out there!”

 “I’m sure she’s going to be fine. She’s one hell of a super girl! I mean, have you seen how her wounds just close on their own?” Your eyes widened.

 “Oh, you saw her?”

 “Yeah, front row seat even. A piece of the plane stabbed her in the back and then when I pulled it out, she told me to by the way, the wound just closed on its own. I asked her about it but she just told me that it was a long story.” You sighed and just nodded your head in response. You let him lightly tug on your arm and guide you towards where you once sat and gazed vacantly at the ground below you, silence flooding the small shelter until your voice suddenly shooed it away.

 “Sherry and I survived Raccoon City together,” you began, abruptly catching Jake’s attention and pausing his obnoxious fiddling with a coin he got out of nowhere.

 “The city that was bombed in 1998?”

 “Yeah. It wasn’t just a bomb though, an outbreak happened, like, you know, this one.” You gestured to your surroundings to emphasize what you were implying. “I shouldn’t be telling you this but it might give you some answers. Sherry and I both got infected with the virus that caused the incident but thankfully, somebody injected us with a cure and now, we got the side effects, per se. Sherry’s got the healing thing and I’m...basically...a walking cure.”

 “Huh, so then why did you look for me if you have...you...to cure whatever the hell this is?”

 “They’ve performed tests on me before and all of them were successful except for the C-virus. I don’t know why it didn’t work but um...yeah. Apparently I’m not the cure for the recent virus.”

 “Oh.” He was speechless, he couldn’t of anything to reply with so he just averted his gaze to his lap and vacantly stared at his hand where his coin laid stiffly against his palm.

Finally. All his life he thought he was alone in this one. He thought he was this monster that just submerged in a trice out of nowhere. I mean, look at him. He’s got this superpower thing since birth and it felt weird. All those people around him were normal, no X-men shit isolating them from the other and he felt like a loner…until he met you and heard your story.

Jake looked at you as the thought of you crossed his mind and he instantaneously felt his face warm up at the sight of you finger-combing your hair and tying your locks with a band.

Wait, what the hell!?

“Hey, you okay?” Jake jumped a bit at the sound of your voice, his face redder in embarrassment, and he just waved his hand in response before looking somewhere else.

*****

So…yeah… I think you know what happened throughout the nights you were firing some bullets left and right.

Basically, you found yourselves in an undersea facility of Neo-Umbrella at the bottom of an ocean and then got rescued by Chris and Piers afterwards.

While you were trapped inside the premises you and Jake couldn’t help but create a small talk where you got to know each other with Sherry just listening in the background and feeling all giddy finally finding someone new for you. After you found out your ex cheated on you with your best friend, like, a year or two ago, you shut yourself off of the dating realm and just took time for yourself. And by that I mean drowning yourself in alcohol.

“Well, we’re trapped in here and we can’t really get out of these restraints, wanna chat?” Jake began.

“I was about to dose off but sure.”

“Let’s see…um…uh… What do people say when they meet each other?” Jake scratched his head using the metal behind him when he remembered he couldn’t get the shackles off of him and you giggled in mirth at the sight.

“I don’t know. I’m not really the type to start with name exchanges. I usually start with…yanking their arms off and getting the fuck out of a place or something.”

Jake chuckled in response and swayed his head side to side. “I see you’ve seen enough.”

“You have no idea.”

It went on like that for a moment, somehow finding peace in conversing casually amidst the chaos outside and it warmed your heart. It helped piece your brain cells together again and you collected a newfound strength after all the tiny grins and small cackles.

It was just tranquility that filled you, nothing else, until an alarm went off and you were suddenly released from your restraints… And then you were back on agent mode again.

 So, here you are now, already defeating this gigantic creature that had been following you around in China and gazing into the abyss of fire where déjà vu suddenly hit you like a truck.

This was like Raccoon City, that time where the train you rode on dashed towards the daylight as flames surged the tunnel. Ustanak represented Birkin.

“You saved me,” you heard Jake whisper beside you. “You know that, right?”

You looked at the surface you had been clinging on below and sniffed at the overwhelming feeling that bursted inside of you.

“Thank you.”

You placed your hand on top of his and smiled softly at him while the three of you darted towards the end of another long escape.

*****

“Well, I guess this is goodbye.” You dusted your clothes and gripped on your bag, forcing your tears not to fall at the thought of not seeing each other again.

“No,” Jake replied firmly. Your eyebrows creased together at his odd response and couldn’t help but ask in confusion.

“What?”

“I’ll see you again, Y/N.” He brushed his palm against your cheek, his orbs burning through yours, before he placed his lips on your own ones. Boy, Sherry couldn’t be happier at the sight of you two. She’ll be sure to arrange your wedding once everything had settled down.

“I’ll see you again, I promise.”

[ao3feed-adaleon]

Resident Evil: Apollyon Rising

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/T4BEIYq by the_anonymous_scholar "Time burns away all memories if you let it." —— For years, Zadok Burns has struggled to make a new life for himself from what was given to him. Since his rescue from the laboratory that created him, he has known only constant pain and fear that one day, the virus they fused within his DNA would overpower him — and he'd lose himself forever. And then it happened. One fatal mishap almost cost him the life of the very person he loved, and in his shame and horror, he sent himself away out of punishment. But it was never enough. A year later, nothing has changed. With the B.S.A.A. breathing down his neck, and the DSO trying to bring him back, there's only so many places he can hide. Until one day, he decides to stop running. Reunited with the few friends he ever had, Zadok knows he can't stay away forever. One day, the isolation and loneliness would kill him, and that time had yet to come. Yet in the midst of everything, he should have known his creators would still want him back. When a mission goes wrong in every way, Zadok is caught with only two choices: return to Umbrella and save his friends, or watch them all suffer a fate worse than death. Words: 2996, Chapters: 3/30, Language: English Series: Part 1 of THE APOLLYON TRILOGY Fandoms: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M, M/M, Gen Characters: Original Male Character(s), Leon S. Kennedy, Claire Redfield, Chris Redfield (Resident Evil), Rebecca Chambers, Jill Valentine, Sherry Birkin, Carlos Oliveira, Ada Wong, Luis Serra, Jake Muller, Original Female Character(s) Relationships: Chris Redfield/Jill Valentine, Carlos Oliveira/Jill Valentine, Leon S. Kennedy/Original Male Character(s), Leon S. Kennedy/Ada Wong Additional Tags: Retelling, Hurt No Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, T-Virus (Resident Evil), G-Virus (Resident Evil), Virus, Bio Organic Weapons | B.O.W.s (Resident Evil), Science Experiments, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Past Relationship(s), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Post-Break Up, Post-Resident Evil 6, Heavy Angst, Explosions, Major Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Leon S. Kennedy has PTSD, Claire Redfield is a Good Friend, Leon S. Kennedy is Bad at Feelings, Implied Sexual Content, Non-Explicit Sex, Self-Insert, Mad Scientists, Biological Weapons, Biological Warfare, Zombies, Resident Evil - Freeform read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/T4BEIYq

[pathogenliliaceae]

I saw Jake Muller listed above Chris on some poll ranking RE protagonists according to skill and this could be a fun take. Thoughts on Jake?

!! Truly!? Says who? Never have I been so insulted for Chris, and I've made quite the practise of it throughout the whole of the series. Jake is just so green. To consider that he has more skill after one game...

Thoughts on Jake Muller:

Quite frankly, I still am not the biggest fan of the idea that Wesker has a biological child through means of an implied relationship. Jake has a mother, mentions her, but we are still left to try and fathom who this woman is. Consider the following: Wesker has caches of bioweapons [specifically, Uroboros] and literal loads of research stashed away. Any of these jumbles of letters that call themselves anti-bioterror organisations would likely have tracked his movements to the best of their abilities. We are told to believe that there is no canonical record of Wesker being in a relationship with an Edonian woman who had emigrated to [presumably] Raccoon City? I also am unsure if Jake can rightfully claim the “dead beat” father excuse for his behaviour if his mother moved back to Edonia prior to giving birth, but I should digress... I won’t.

Born in 1992, Jake grows up with a single mother who falls ill in the early 2000s. In an effort to support his mother through her illness, he becomes a mercenary. Here is the bit where I find that he is “more skilled” than Chris to be erroneous, and highly insulting: According to the Resident Evil 6 Memo “Soldiers of Fortune”, Jake knew nothing of combat skills until he joined his first mercenary group at seventeen. This means that Jake’s skillset has been active for an entire THREE YEARS before the Edonian Civil War and the Lanshiang Incident. It is an utter travesty to say that Jake Muller is more skilled than Chris after only having been trained for three. years.

He became attached to his CO, who taught him how to fight-- and his new father figure promptly sold out the unit as a turncoat. I suppose that being somewhat of Jake’s father makes you liable to be a traitor. 

Furthermore: Canonically, Jake is “moody”, “distant”, “cold”, and has no loyalties to any cause. If you’ve played Six, you know this already. But, we cannot take into account a character’s popularity without examining their convictions.

From here on, what we know of Jake takes place in-game. Foolish boy, making foolish decisions. He does have a bit of a redeeming arc, but that arc takes place solely through Sherry and uses her as his motivator. I am not so enthralled that she functions as his catalyst for change. In the course of six months, during which he’s run from Ustanak, endured some experimentation, and somehow picked up an entire Cantonese vocabulary-- he goes from “pay me millions for a blood sample”, to “there are more important things at stake than you and I”.  His feud with Chris is utterly imaginary and it shows just how immature he is as a character. He blames Chris for taking his father away from him, but Jake never had his father. He never knew who his father was. In the same breath as learning Wesker’s name, he learns that he was a bioterrorist of the highest calibre. He is anger with Chris for killing an imagined version of what he wanted Wesker to be. And nearly shot him over it. Subduing the feud for the sake of mankind, quoted above, hardly saves it. This is because, I think, it feels oddly one-sided. We’ve followed Chris through all of these years and installments. We know and realise that killing Wesker was needed and quite justified. But then Jake comes along with a complex, attempting to put some sort of spin on the morality of killing Wesker. 

What if the bioterrorist you are after has a child? Would you still pursue them? Yes, you would. Because they’re an active bioterrorist! Because they have the intent of ending the world through the use of a tentacle-virus and actively wants to put eugenics into practise because “everyone else is just so much chaff”. Not to mention- Jake does not know his father! He would never know his father! Even if Wesker had known that he had a son [again, we still believe this to be a stretch], I have high doubts that he would have cared enough to know him. He’s much too busy becoming a god and killing his own father figure. This entire father-son dynamic that Jake is angry over is entirely imagined.

I cannot offer much more of an analysis on him due to the lack of back story. And likely, the lack of his resurgence into the series. Capcom has a problem- they feel Chris needs to be replaced. They were going to replace him with Piers, but thought against it. They were going to replace him with Jake, but Jake’s reception was so poor that it would hurt the future of the franchise. And honestly, thank every denomination of God that Capcom thought better of it.  Could you imagine Village with Jake in Chris’ place? Some idiotic smart mouth trying to talk down sentient mould? Ugh. Spare me the thought.

Honestly, I am quite sad because I feel that due to Jake’s poor reception, and that Sherry is now regrettably tied to him, we may never see Sherry again. If that is the case, she is wasted. I will not forgive him if he wastes my daughter’s potential. 

In short: Who performed the study, what was the sample size, what was the demographic that comprised it, and who calculated the confidence interval incorrectly? Jake more skilled than Chris... Please.