#impulse is genuinely very fun to draw though. like. idk why

[cj-the-random-artist]

I'm learning Clip Studio now because. Art programs. Uhh. Don't ask lol. But anyways. Quick little Impulse doodle because he's quite easy to draw so why not test out a new program on him. Therefore. Doodle.

Genuinely though Clip Studio is quite nice. I've been using a free trial version while I wait for the summer sale and it's very nice. Also. Adjusting my style just a bit. Gonna try and figure out a more detailed portrait-y style for illustrations and a simpler one for comics. Maybe. Idk I'm figuring it out :P

But yea take this random little Impy doodle. And have good day :D

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] Demon Brothers + Hobbies 🏊

Lucifer

what free time

when he does somehow peel himself off of work, he enjoys ballroom dancing

i can just imagine him putting on a vinyl song, holding up his arms and doing the steps to the dance (1, 2, 3... 1, 2, 3) and god forbid someone tries to come in during this time because he’d be too embarrassed to be lenient on their punishment

i imagine he’s super into learning other couple dances too like tango and salsa, so when you get together with him count on being his partner!

i bet he also loves teaching other people things-- like genuinely, considering he is the oldest of the seven (his brothers just test him LOL)

incredibly patient when showing you the steps, taking pride in your improvement and growing warm at the thought of you being able to dance with him at the next chance you get

and his weakness???? online shopping on akuzon 

which, when you find out, makes him extremely embarrassed and depending on whether you have the same past time-- you may or may not buy everything on akuzon

on his home screen interaction dialogue, he says something along the lines of “Akuzon is too convenient... it’s easy to buy a lot of things” while blushing

so I’m thinking sometimes when he does take a breather from his workload, he scrolls on akuzon just browsing for things because it’s quick

and ends up putting like 5 things into the cart  that he doesn’t really need

doesn’t always follow through and buy everything, but he definitely has moments where he impulse buys and it’s gone to bite him in the butt when packages arrive in droves and his brothers are like ??? why are there so many things

Mammon

loves music-- both listening and making it!

likes making his own mixtapes and playlists

and when he gets to share it with you, he’s so nervous; but the giddy happiness he feels when you tell him that it’s good is SO worth the wait and time he puts into his music

he’d be happy just having his mixtapes and music to himself but being able to share it with someone makes it a lot sweeter

definitely makes playlists for and about you because sometimes the feelings he can’t put into words he can tell you through music

idk if he has a recording studio in his room, but i think it’d be pretty fitting if there was

probably gets into composing his music, rapping mayhaps??

at some point likes to DJ as well, though he’s not too good as it rn, but he definitely loooooves playing with the sound effects and tracks

all of these things are him being able to express himself-- put a twist on something that already exists or creating something on his own

it gives him a sense of freedom: to express himself and to do whatever he wants as he pleases

pretty well-rounded when it comes to playing instruments

when he puts his mind to it, he can probably learn anything

most likely already knows how to play the guitar and the drums

has a pretty good voice too tbh

Leviathan

swimming!!

he may be a shut-in, but ya boy has ocean decor, can control sea creatures, so it’s only natural he can swim and swim well

doesn’t do it as often since he prefers watching anime/playing games loads more, but he it’s definitely something he enjoys since it feels like his natural place to be 

considering his dream is to be a professional gamer, it’s not far off to say that he finds it his hobby to start off small and be a youtuber, probably posting reviews of games he’s played or even writing out walk-throughs online

actually loves going to concerts and cons

if he was a fan of hatsune miku you BET he’d want to go to her first live concert with her life-sized hologram, waving the glowsticks in unison with the crowd

would definitely go all four days of Anime Expo where he would be SO happy surrounded by people who can love the same things he does with the same passion

loves creating cosplay to go to these cons by hand; impeccable detail and intense dedication into the craft that shows his love for whatever he’s making

kinda shy about wearing it, but if you’re down to wear any of his costumes, he’d absolutely die happy

it’s just too much love for him to handle in one sitting 

and ofc, hobbies include board games, games, DND, all those!!

Satan

asides from reading, loves traveling when he can whenever he can

he invites you out to places because he enjoys discovering new things and experiencing new things and traveling is the perfect way to do all of that all the time

he’d enjoy hiking too-- on trails, through the wilderness, among the wild; just give him a backpack, an explorers hat, maybe a walking stick (just like the ones in the movies) and he’s on his way!

loves going hiking with you because he likes the way your face lights up at new scenery or the wonders of the world

likes that he can share this enjoyment and excitement of discovery with you because it feels like he’s sharing a little bit of himself too

indoor activity is snuggling in the covers and having movie marathons! and now that he has you and all your movies on DVD (lol) he can now enjoy so much more things

and when he finds out about Netflix, he is NOT sleeping for DAYS

“Satan... did you sleep last night?”

“couldn’t. the new season of How to Get Away with Murder came out.”

SLAM POETRY

doesn’t think he’s very good, but definitely likes writing down in his journal and even some scattered words that form a bit of poetry sometimes

really really shy about sharing it, but if you coax him a little, he’d be willing to show you (though you’ll have a hard time convincing him to show you poetry he wrote about you)

people have said, and I agree, cat cafe is definitely something he’d seek out and enjoy; literal dream come true

a house of cats that lucifer can’t ban him from LMAO

Asmodeus

has a very creative mind and deft hands meant for craft (among other things ahem)

as a fashionable person and a trendsetter, he’d love making his own jewelry and clothes, picking out the beads and metalware for the earrings or bracelets and feeling out the cloth and stitches for his outfits

if levi IS into making cosplay, it’d be such a nice way for them to bond together since Levi is pretty good with picking out material too

i like to imagine he enjoys making jewelry for his brothers too:

a stud earring for mammon, maybe convincing him to explore other options and wear other jewelry too

giving his brothers the options of clip on earrings if they wanted to try something temporary, gives satan a golden bracelet, lucifer a silver ring etc

suuuuuper supportive of you if you wanted any type of piercings and would absolutely love it if you wore his jewelry

god he would bedazzle you in all his jewelry and clothes if he could

another hobby is doing yoga!!

good for the body and soul uwu

definitely gives a good reason for any of his flexibility, or maybe it’s because he’s naturally flexible that yoga is calming for him

also loves to invite you to do yoga with him

you’d definitely get a bit steamy doing certain positions with him, but MOST of the time, he does encourage you to stretch, relax, and strengthen your body

Beelzebub

so athletic he could probably play every sport

i agree with the masses: he’d DEFINITELY be good at hockey

basketball too (just imagine Kagami from Kuroko no Basuke)

you know what they say about big hands

big, strong hands, good for crafting that involves a little more strength, but considering he’s a pretty tender and patient guy, is great at sculpting with clay, which extends to pottery as well

just imagine him sitting near a kiln, spinning the clay and using his hands to shape the curve and notches of a pot

considering how many plates and bowls he’s probably eaten, it makes for a good way to replace them HAHA

good at crafting with glass too considering it requires steady hands and strength to spin glass evenly

enjoys a lot of arts and crafts and loves giving them as gifts, especially if they’re made from his own hands

one of the main reasons why he started and likes doing these as a hobby actually

adores the look on you face when you created a glass terrarium for your plants or created glass ornaments dyed with your favorite colors

would definitely be the type of person to put his hands on yours as he teaches you how to shape the clay and have plenty of fun with you watching you try to make glass ornaments with or without success

Belphegor

during his waking hours, he loves to study the stars

loved to watch them in the human world, but without a night sky, he’s content with looking up for constellations in books from the library

if you buy him the cute lamp that lights stars onto the ceiling, he’ll find you so endearing because he’d enjoy lying in bed with you and just looking up at the lights and being in each other’s arms-- imagining the day he gets to do this with you for real, on a picnic blanket, looking up at the moon and stars

i imagine he’d like to doodle too

i say MAINLY doodles because they’re easier like drawing chibis or whatever thinks is amusing and lowkey keeps him awake (though Lucifer doesn’t like it when he draws on the desks)

does sometimes go all out and draw amazingly well, whenever the mood strikes him

when you ask him, he jokingly says you’re his muse; but honestly wouldn’t put it past him to have drawn a portrait of you, awake or asleep, at some point

surprisingly good at sewing-- or at the very least mending rips and tears

i feel like beel has a lot of ripped shirts (...from being, yknow, ripped) so he’s gotten pretty good at simple stitches, which eventually evolved into something more

didn’t start off as a hobby but he did eventually find it soothing to sew and embroider

levi and asmodeus adore his skills and he grumbles, but doesn’t ever say ‘no’ to them when they ask for his help

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

I Taste Honey but I Haven’t Seen the Hive - Chapter Eight

Ao3,  Masterpost,  C.1   C.2   C.3   C.4   C.5   C.6   C.7

Relationships: queer-platonic intruality, mentioned platonic relationships.

Second chapter of the night, babe! I’m really going for it with finishing this story!! mostly no italics as is my usual, because tumblr Sucks <3 

Warnings: cursing, brief true-crime talk, sexual innuendo, depressive episodes, crying, LOTS of h/c, mentions of past neglect (ok neglect is a really strong word it isn’t that bad, but, idk what to call it), touch-starvation, honestly though this is a ridiculously fluffy chapter guys. 

Word count: 5,618

In three weeks, Patton and Remus had gone from borderline insomnia to a sleep schedule that could’ve impressed even Logan. 

And in three weeks, neither had spent a single night alone.

The talk they’d had after their first sleepover ended up leaving more of an impact than either had realized. Maybe it should’ve been expected: they were both accustomed to saying exactly what they meant, exactly how they meant it, and any sort of vow to ‘never let go’ couldn’t be used lightly for two creatures like that. 

So, independently, they both decided to be as literal as they could about it. God, were they clingy.

But it worked better than anything. There was less aching, more talking, and if they were feeling better, the whole Mindpalace improved. Something something, the delicate ecosystem of the human mind, blah blah. 

And then it worked too well. 

Neither of them really knew what had happened, or how to feel about it (it might have been sad or strange that neither had ever had anything to compare it to, but if asked, they’d both say that’s what made it so special. They’d be right to say so, of course). It was what they had, together.

It wasn’t romantic- they’d seen romantic, knew it as well as they could, didn’t care for it. But in the end who cared about semantics? It didn’t matter, the reasons why Patton stared after his friend for a little too long, or what was making it so hard for Remus not to kiss his pal smack on the lips every time he smiled. Another thing that didn’t matter was the why in response to how they still hadn’t talked about it, but… Patton and Remus had resolved that as a problem for another time.

What mattered was that it just was.

(And another thing that mattered, a little bit, was the how it had happened, and both of them understood that perfectly well.)

Remus lounged on the floor at the foot of his bed, Patton behind and above him. Patton’s fingers were working steadily through his mess of hair, while the pair half-watched TV. They didn’t agree on most shows, and neither of them were especially crazy about arguing, which meant it was twenty minutes of roundabout conversation until they stumbled across something they could mutually zone out to. Whatever. The system worked.

Remus typically preoccupied himself with drawing, painting, or carving some material into something or other (said something-or-other was almost always a knife or a dildo. Occasionally, it was both). 

Patton seemed to favor being distracted by Remus’ hair, though it wasn’t clear why. Remus hadn’t asked; it felt nice, and he was surprised that anyone would actually want to thread their fingers through those oily strings, so why question a good thing? 

Actually, a better question was why not. The thought had stuck in his mind, and he had nothing better to do- art block and all- so. Remus tossed his sketchbook to the side and twisted up to look at Patton.

“Why do you do that?”

Patton glanced down at him. “Do what?”

Remus reached up, prying Patton’s hands out of his hair and holding them up like evidence. Patton blinked at them, and okay, cute- but he looked genuinely surprised by the question. 

“Oh, playing with your hair? I mean, there’s no real reason, I guess it’s just mindless. Something to fidget with, y’know? It’s always all tangled up, too, so it’s like a little puzzle- a puzzle I probably won’t solve all the way ever, but that’s most puzzles with me to be honest,” he smiled brightly, creasing all his laugh lines just right. “Also, um, it feels nice that I get to stay touching you, even if it’s just something small,” he shrugged, sort of sheepishly. “Is that weird?”

But Remus was beaming up at him, definitely looking all sorts of stupid for it, and definitely not caring. He dropped Patton’s hands, letting them find their way back into his coils and matts of hair. 

“You’re asking the wrong guy, Sugar Cookie, but you can keep messing with my hair all you want. It probably is weird, in that case, because I like that you have your hands on me so much-” Jesus Christ it was so hard not to make a sex joke, Remus had to stifle several from breaking his train of thought. Ugh, the things he did for this man. “-And if I like something, it’s 100% freaky!”

Patton just laughed, his nose scrunching up while he ruffled Remus’ hair. 

“That’s- that’s good to know,” an index finger coiled around silver strands, and Patton’s eyes sparkled in the most literal sense, “Hey, Remus?”

Remus let his head rest on the side’s thigh, humming attentively. 

“When you say I can mess with it…”

He looked up with a delightful anticipation, grinning before Patton had even finished his sentence. 

“Can I braid your hair?” The question accompanied by a faint tug at Remus’ scalp, and the feeling of several tangles coming undone, “I’m pretty good at it. Virgil used to let me do his- not so much anymore, but, um. Anyway, yours would be long enough- or maybe longer, if I got these knots out,” he smiled, kindly, “But I know you like having it knotty, so it’s okay if you don’t want me to.”

Remus thought it over, because yeah, he was very proud of his rat’s nest. Besides, he was sure that even if it got straightened out, it’d still be just as greasy as ever- ohh, but that could be a look all on its own, couldn’t it? Maybe he could even weave some garbage into the plait! 

“Sure!” Remus assented, “The rest of me’s naughty enough to make up for the hairdo, so have at ‘er.”

Patton snorted at the pun, obviously excited to get started. When he ushered Remus to turn around, his hands easily undoing clumps of hair with surprising focus, humming to himself all the while, Remus was absolutely certain he’d made the right choice.

It was done in an hour- Patton was slow and careful about every movement. Remus didn’t really mind, though he’d try to assure Patton that it was fine to do it in a hurry, that he wasn’t so sensitive. (Patton didn’t, obviously, ignoring Remus’ comments about how it didn’t even matter because they weren’t real, and pain was a construct. Patton was stubbornly gentle, to the point that Remus couldn’t be annoyed by it. He might even say it was sweet, if he was feeling particularly sappy.)

It had also taken such time because of the decorations Patton had woven into his hair, which he insisted would be surprises. So Remus was bouncing with excitement all the way to the mirror- cuz even though he was sure it wouldn’t be anything like the live bugs, weeds, and dead flowers that he’d had in mind to thread in there himself, he knew it’d at least be pretty. Pretty wasn’t really his thing, sure, but Patton’s brand of pretty? It had grown on him.

The mirror in Remus’ room was chipped, slick with grime, and filled with silhouettes that vanished as soon as you turned around, but it worked just fine. Remus hauled himself over to it, peered in, and okay, he definitely didn’t mind a little bit of pretty.

“You weren’t fucking around when you said you were good at this, Morey!”

In their reflections, Remus saw Patton smile, going a bit pink around the ears. He glanced back to himself, eyes trailing appreciatively down the shoulder-length braid of dark, greasy hair. His grey streak wasn’t twisted in with the rest of the locks, instead it had been left out in front, springy and curly and giving the whole look a messier vibe. The braid itself seemed inky-slick, shot through with glittering hair clips and pins. At first, they looked like plain plastic jewels, but with closer inspection the shapes of tiny beetles, bugs, and moths were unmistakable. They were gorgeous, and probably a better call than putting actual live bugs in his hair; he was less likely to end up eating the sparkly clips, at any rate.

But if all that wasn’t enough, then there were the ribbons. Whip-thin and several in number, they sparkled with enough course glitter to impress a Las Vegas body paint artist. Some were a pukey neon green, and the rest a light, bright-

“Blue?”

Patton met Remus’ eyes, through the mirror again, and the pink slowly traveled from his ears down to his face. He shrugged, grazing the blue-and-green bow where the braid was tied off with the tips of his fingers. 

“I guess I got a little carried away,” he smiled lightly, “I thought it looked nice, with the green.”

Remus looked away from the glass, “You’re not wrong about that,” he muttered.

Patton shrugged, not quite making his eyes. 

“You can take those ones out, if you want to.”

That- the way Patton went flustered and shy and he’d put his colors on Remus- it gave the Duke a very strong urge to do something. The urge pulled at his chest, feeling like cracked ribs in the best way, and it really wasn’t fucking around when it wrapped around his heart and squeezed so tight it felt like it was forcing all the blood right out of him. 

Remus was used to impulses, and the powerful, mind-halting swells of emotion, but this was new and fun and it had jumped out of nowhere even for him. He was staring at Patton, and he had the urge to do something. He would’ve done it, too, if only he knew what the fuck it was that he wanted. 

It had to do with Patton. He should start there, probably.

“I’m gonna keep them in, duh,” Remus replied, finally, and his voice was way louder than it needed to be, “Wouldn’t wanna fuck up the look.” 

Patton glanced at him, smiling self-consciously, and his hand lowered from Remus’ hair to rest on his shoulder. For a moment Remus felt blind, vision white-out and trouble breathing, from whatever the fuck he was feeling, and he just didn’t know what to do.

Then Patton laughed, his ocean eyes squinted, and the burning impulse plummeted to an ache. A giddy, unfamiliar kind of ache. A manageable ache. 

Remus resolved to forget it. He had lots of instincts, and urges, and God knew that not even half of them made sense. It had left, that was what mattered, and he could enjoy the rest of his day with his friend.

He’d never been the type to worry, anyway.

There were days that Patton just… couldn’t make it out of bed. He tried, he really did, but he could only go for so long before it all started crumbling. He’d wake up, and something would just feel wrong, and he’d know that it was a doomed day, but he still made the stubborn effort to save it. Because each time he thought, maybe he’d beat it, maybe he’d make the best of it- and sometimes he did, but most of the time he made it as far as breakfast, and then he was right back in his room by noon to let the depressive episode take over.

So yeah. It was one of Those Days. 

Patton laid in bed, propped up on pillows and stuffed animals with his unfocused eyes staring just above the television. Bad days had been getting rare, and naively, Patton had thought that meant it was over for good. When he woke up that morning, Remus barely stirring beside him, the empty feeling inside was almost ignorable. 

He’d stayed above it for all of two-and-a-half hours before retreating to his room again, this time on his own.

Patton was always alone when he got in one of his moods, and he knew it was better that way. He was no fun at all, just a sad sack of blah, and he knew just how intolerable he ended up being. He couldn’t even tolerate himself.

So each time Patton would tell the other sides that he needed some space alone, and of course they respected that. Roman always hugged him before he left. Virgil checked on him every now and then. Logan, without fail, sent him extra plushies (and sweet snacks, however much he disapproved of unhealthy eating, because he knew how much sugar cheered Patton up). It didn’t fix the ache, but it helped, knowing that people were worried about him. 

But, back to that particular day; the day that left Patton huddled up at the head of his bed with blank, glazed-over eyes; the first day of its kind since Remus had been staying with him. 

It had gotten… harder, somehow. The fact that it had been gone for so long, and he’d been so optimistic, but now it was all back… 

Patton buried his face in the soft fabric of a teddy bear, shaking and crying and feeling so, so, cold.

It went on for a few horrible, horrible minutes, and then there were noises that definitely weren’t sobs. Down the hall; the slamming of a door, followed by distant muttering, and then excited footsteps. Heavy, clunky footsteps. Sounds that brought back acute deja vu, and had Patton glancing up just in time to realize what was about to happen. 

His door swung open, and Remus was grinning at him from the entrance. Patton struggled to put on a smile in time, scrubbing frantically at his eyes. 

“Hey! It’s, like, two o’clock, are you ready?”

Patton blinked up at him, partially in confusion, partially to try and stop the flow of tears. “Ready…?” 

Remus’ face fell a little, and he came forwards into the room. 

“Yeah…” Remus shut the door behind him- with less force than usual- and sat cross-legged on the foot of the bed. He stared intently at Patton, frown deepening all the while, pupils flitting around as he seemed to take in every detail of his friend’s condition. Patton wanted to squirm. “We were gonna- are you okay?” 

He stared dumbly at Remus for a second more, and then it clicked: they had plans today. He could barely remember what they were supposed to do- they’d been talking so quick, so excited, so happy- but Patton was pretty sure it had to do with a new creation of Remus’. 

Which was… something he definitely, definitely didn’t have the energy for. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” Patton sat up straight, trying desperately to stop trembling, “I completely forgot, I just- um- I don’t know if I can make it today.”

That sounded bad, didn’t it? Wouldn’t that be the icing on top of the cake, if he hurt Remus’ feelings just because he was wallowing for basically no reason. It probably wouldn’t even be that bad if he sucked it up and went along with it anyway- except Janus kept insisting how bad self-sacrifice was, but- what else was he supposed to do!?

“Oh, it’s okay,” Remus said, not sounding hurt at all. “I’d be more pissed if I thought you were just bailing, and I know you don’t do that, Pat. Plus, you’re obviously upset, so don’t worry about it.”

  Patton glanced up to find him still staring, somehow more intense than before, and much closer than before. He looked- he looked worried. Not upset. Worried. 

“Oh,” Patton looked away again, unable to stand the scrutiny, “Okay.” 

A hand slipped into his, prying open his clenched fist, and he had to stifle a gasp at the touch. Temperature shock, that was the best word for it. Patton shivered. 

“Can I help you?”

Patton’s eyes went wide at the sweet sincerity in Remus’ voice, the way he said it as plainly and openly as he’d say anything else. Even if it wasn’t a big deal, really, with Patton’s emotions in the state that they were, while he was in his room of all places, anything could send him breaking down again.

“I- I don’t, um-” he blinked furiously, had done that a lot since Remus found him; it was beginning to make him feel dizzy. “Nothing’s really wrong…” 

Remus squeezed his hand. 

“Well, what isn’t really wrong?” 

“What?”

“You said nothing’s ‘really’ wrong, so, what’s wrong-but-not-really?”

Patton tipped his head to the side, for a moment more confused than he was aching. “How do you mean?”

But Remus just rolled his eyes- not unkindly- and shrugged. 

“So, you don’t know why you’re all… sad,” the emphasis made Patton wince, “But I figure that being sad at all usually makes other things wrong, too, and I can help with those things! For example-” he pitched forwards suddenly, ruby-reds wide and searching. He sniffed at Patton (probably not for any kind of actual inspection, but it made him laugh, and judging from Remus’ proud little smirk that had been on purpose.) “You had anything to eat? Or, uh, water? Those are supposed to be important.”

Oh, right. That. 

Patton leaned away, pulling his hand out of Remus’ grasp as he flushed abashedly. But he didn’t- well, he wasn’t going to lie to Remus.

“I guess I haven’t, no,” he tried to laugh it off- this didn’t have to be a thing, it didn’t have to be serious, if he kept laughing. If he got Remus to laugh.

But Remus was already standing, and that brought up another very effective solution; if Patton was being depressing, maybe he would just get sick of it and go. 

“Okay, we’ll start there! Wait here, I’ll be back in- ten minutes? Sure, that’s how long it takes to make food,” Remus was muttering half to himself, but it sure as heck didn’t sound like leaving.

“Oh, you don’t have to get me anything!” Patton insisted, because if Remus wasn’t escaping yet, then he wasn’t going to mooch off of his generosity. “Thanks for the reminder, I’ll- I’ll make sure to grab something soon.”

Remus stopped by the door, tipped his head from one side to the other, pretending to think it over.

“Hm. Nah.”

Patton tried to stand, and found that he was somehow too weak for even that much.

“Remus, please, I- I can’t even eat the same stuff as you, anyway! Don’t go through all that trouble for little old me,” he was edging on frantic, and he didn’t know why he was fighting so hard against receiving needed help, but it probably had something to do with Catholicism. 

Remus looked completely bewildered- a funny look, for him- and said:

“I mean, I wasn’t about to feed you hygiene products, or ceramic, or whatever. I know that I eat weird shit, Pat, that’s kind of the point- but I still know how to make a sandwich? And I know how to hold a cup under the sink so that water goes in it?” 

His voice took on a gently mocking tone. Patton glanced away, sheepish, and couldn’t find a response to that beyond a short nod.

Which was all Remus needed as the go-ahead, darting out of the room and down the stairs before Patton could argue any further. 

Patton stared after him, listened to him bustling around downstairs, and tried to feel comforted. He fell back against his pillows, breathing slow and concentrated. He was still shaking, with his previous exhaustion coming back full force. Some of the light-headedness, certainly, had to be due to the lack of eating, but he was unfortunately sure that it wasn’t even the half of it.

Patton was conflicted: He had to tell Remus that he was okay, as soon as he returned. Say thanks for the food, that it had helped, and they could spend time together tomorrow, Patton would promise. Get Remus away before it got bad, before the dam he’d built so carefully behind his eyes fell and the blue of them spilled out for hours. 

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t lie about his feelings- he knew it was bad for him, and he couldn’t keep doing it, not to someone’s face. Not somebody he cared about so much.

He wanted to let Remus stay, beg him to stay if he had to, just so he didn’t have to dig up all his long-buried emotions on his own. He wanted to pull him in and beg for help, even though he knew nothing had managed to help him before, and it was so futile. 

When the door opened some ten minutes later, Patton didn’t sit up. He didn’t even look up, scared he’d cry if he so much as moved his eyes in his own skull. 

“Hey.”

The sound of the door shutting, followed by those heavy footsteps. A soft thunk, presumably the plate of food being placed on his bedside table. Then the mattress dipped beside him, springs creaking. 

“Hey,” Remus said again, “Look at me.”

Patton rolled his head tentatively to the side. Remus was sitting with him, looking at him, his expression twisted up and solemn in all the worst ways. Patton felt the dam begin to crumble. 

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, “I know, I know that I’m no fun when I’m like this, and we were supposed to have fun today, and I just can’t do it. I can’t, I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, but if you stay here when I’m-” he broke, clamping a hand around his mouth as a sob wracked his body.. “When I’m like this, I’m just gonna ruin your day more.”

That sad look, the one that had no place being in Remus’ expression, sharpened and widened until he looked almost angry. He crawled over to Patton, prying the side’s hand away from his face and cupping his cheek, gently, all the while that scowl was in place. 

“Do you want me to go?”

Patton could barely speak, knowing that he’d just blubber and blubber, but Remus was holding him up by the shoulders and peering down at him so patiently, so carefully.

“I- I-”

“Do you want to be alone?”

He couldn’t- he couldn’t keep lying.

Patton sucked in a breath.

“No.”

Remus grinned at him proudly, pulling back until he was kneeling. He spread his arms out, an offering that Patton had become intimately familiar with. Patton pulled himself up, shaking, incredulous despite the familiarity of the situation.

“Then you don’t have to be.”

And Patton pitched forward, right into Remus’ arms, clutching and crying and trembling like a leaf.

Distantly, he knew that he was still babbling apologies. Insisting that the Duke could leave as soon as he wanted, that Patton felt this way so often and he knew he couldn’t possibly expect comfort every time, a million other sentences that ran over and into each other which only seemed to make Remus clutch him tighter. 

“It’s okay,” Remus told him.

“It’s- It’s not, I don’t even have a- a reason to be so-” a hiccup, “- upset. It’s not like last time, when you found me- I don’t even have a bad excuse, I’m just- just-”

“Shut the fuck up,” somehow, even that sounded caring. “Somebody as Hello Kitty Wholesome as you’s got no business saying such bad shit about himself.”

Patton tried to apologize again. 

“Easy, Sugar, I’ve got you.”

Patton shuddered.

“When it gets bad like this, just tell me, alright?” Remus’ hands traced up and down his spine, across his shoulder blades, down his sides, warm and full and adoring. The smile in his voice was audible, “I’m gonna take care of you.”

And when Patton heard that, it was like a broken bone being set. Not fully mended, but held together enough that it could begin to heal the right way, of its own hard work, and come back twice as strong still. Remus held him so strong and it felt like a cast. 

Patton’s breakdowns were blurred memories at best, but he couldn’t have gotten that promise out of his head even if he wanted to. 

It was an achingly uneventful afternoon. Everything in the Mindpalace felt just a little out of focus, a little gray, and nothing much was going to change that except the day ending. Plain and simple, Thomas was Out Of It- and so, of course, were his sides.

On the whole it wasn’t a big deal, but it did make it downright impossible to finish any substantial work beyond menial, autopilot tasks. And creativity? Particularly for Remus, who more-or-less needed his human at full attention in order to have any creative power, it was totally hopeless. 

He wasn’t the kind of guy to work on half-power, to put it mildly. 

So, what did Remus do, when he had even less of an outlet than usual? It shouldn’t surprise you that the answer is literally anything, if it got people to pay attention to him and make him feel real again (which he wasn’t, actually, but let’s leave the semantics to Logan). What that usually amounted to- these days, at least- was talking, and talking, and more talking, and eventually somebody would probably react to something he said. Ideally. 

So on that particular gray-day, Remus sprawled himself out on the couch and waited for the first person who came by to trap in a very one-sided conversation. 

Said first person was Patton, as it happened, which was just Remus’ luck. He didn’t bother hiding how excited he was about it; Patton had always been his favorite target- of course, it was for a very, very different reason nowadays. 

Patton sat down with him as soon as he was waved over, propping a coloring book open on his knee and smiling warmly. His unoccupied hand went to wind through Remus’ hair, though, to make it abundantly obvious that despite his distraction he wasn’t ignoring the other.

Remus grinned at him, and started rambling immediately. 

And he- well, he wouldn’t really call it talking to himself, because he didn’t have a fucking clue what he was saying. But he wasn’t talking to Patton either, because that kinda defeats the purpose of a one-sided conversation. 

Which he didn’t mind. He wasn’t even listening to himself, he just needed to talk, and Patton wasn’t complaining. Remus was probably saying something unsavory, and still, there wasn’t any kind of flinching or interrupting. Patton even mhm’d and yeah’d every now and then, which was an entirely unnecessary reassurance. But Remus thought it was adorably considerate, and briefly entertained the idea of replacing that sweet little coloring book in Patton’s lap with his own self, to get some proper attention. 

(He would have, too, if he wasn’t so sure that he’d blurt out something very lewd in his stream-of-consciousness kind of mood, with a position like that, and he wasn’t sure if Patton could handle it at the moment. Morality always got a little out of whack on gray-days, too, so- loathe as Remus was to say it- better safe than sorry). 

Remus fell into the rhythm of it for, what, twenty minutes? He was bad with time, but- all he knew was he was thinking about Albert Fish, and talking about an entirely different serial killer out loud (Gacy? Bundy? It was definitely someone infamous), when the hand in his hair suddenly stilled. Patton wasn’t looking at him, either.

Remus glanced around, still talking, to find Logan standing in the kitchen doorway, staring expectantly at Patton. 

“I need you to accompany me outside for a moment. There’s something important that we-”

Patton cut him off with a wave, “Hang on for a second, Teach.” 

Logan obliged, looking bemused, and Patton turned his attention back to the still-tangenting Remus. Who was totally checked out, for the record. 

“Hey,” Patton rested a hand on his shoulder, smiling warmly, “Pause?”

And Remus, surprised, did as asked. He didn’t care about what was going on around him, but he liked that smile, and the eyes focused in on him, so he sat up properly and tried to be quiet. Especially considering those were the first actual words Patton had said to him since he’d sat down. 

“I’m gonna go see what they need real quick,” Patton went on, “I’ll be back in a few minutes, and you can finish telling me about Dennis Rader then-” So that was who! “Kay?” 

Remus stared mutely at him for an embarrassing number of seconds. He eventually managed a short nod, some vague utterances of yeah, sure, go ahead, before Patton was out the door with Logan, and he was left reeling on the couch. 

Remus felt a little bit like worms had eaten holes in his brain like swiss cheese, leaving him airy-headed and dizzy. All his organs felt wormy, in fact- squirming and sick and excited about something that really shouldn’t have been a big deal- but! It was!!!

Cuz Patton had been listening? Remus wasn’t even listening! He was probably barely coherent, and he’d been at it for twenty fucking minutes, and- and-

God! He just wanted to grab that stupid adorable head of Patton’s and! He didn’t even know! Do Something, something disgusting in the nice way, something deplorably PG and lovey-dovey and- Ugh! 

Remus buried his face in his hands and groaned. He felt like a goddamn schoolgirl- and not the hentai kind, for a change, but the hopelessly infatuated, cutesy type. Feelings that were gushy, giddy, affectionately bloody. 

It was the straw that broke the camel's spine. Urges and instincts and wants that Remus hadn’t been able to name coalesced into a neon sign in his mind, flaring the answer like it’d been obvious the whole time:

Was it a crush? Remus didn’t know a better word for it, even if it wasn’t- he just knew that he was pining, and for somebody he was happy to call his friend either way. And, huh. Weird. He didn’t know he could do that. 

“I’m back, I’m back!” Patton came scrambling back into the room, jolting Remus out of his thoughts, “Sorry about that, it was- well, it’s not a big deal, something happened with The Memories and- it’s fine now- anyway, what were you saying?”

He was chattering fast, even by Remus’ Standards, an apologetic smile on his face as he sat down and settled all his attention on the Duke. 

Remus said: “It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” and wondered if he’d always been that shrill? Or was he being too quiet? What did his voice sound like again?? “I, uh, I don’t remember what I was talking about.”

Patton frowned at him, and looked about ready to apologize again, and he couldn’t very well have that. So, he babbled:

“Right, it was Rader? Um. Yeah,” but that was so far out of his mind by that point, and how did people ever talk while saying things and thinking other things! “Not much to say, ya know. Killed some people, got arrested, the usual.”

“Since when don’t you give me the graphic details?” Patton complained, “That’s your favorite part!” 

“I think I’ll spare you the nightmares this time, Morey! It’s, uhm, it’s your turn to talk.” 

“Oh, hush,” and Patton laughed, shooting Remus an encouraging, coaxing smile that made him just want to debone himself. “Those serial killer stories you like so much aren’t the nightmare fuel they used to be. You know why?”

Remus felt like the inside of his skin was full of spikes. Not in a bad way. 

“...Why?” 

“Because,” Patton said, like he was all too eager to explain himself, “I can’t really be scared of them when the scariest thing is what’s in bed with me.”

Remus flushed. Like, actually-  heat crawled across his face and over his ears, and he honestly had no clue the last time something or someone had made him blush. But Patton, acknowledging his scare-factor while somehow making it obvious he felt only safe with him, was apparently what ticked that box. 

“Right,” chirped Remus, “That’s- me!”

“Of course it is, Silly,” Patton bumped their shoulders together, smiling like he had no idea what he was doing- and to be honest, he probably didn’t.

Remus drank in the contact, happily using it as an excuse to wrap his arms around Patton and pull him closer. He buried his face in Patton’s shoulder, because as far as his impulses told him, he should either get the fuck away A.S.A.P. or drag Patton in as close as possible and not let go. Obviously, Remus had a preference. 

“You- uh- I was being serious though,” ugh, God, stuttering was so goddamn annoying- how did Virgil cope? “You should talk. I’m- I’m sorta overwhelmed.”

That was the truth, or part of it. Admitting it out loud at least managed to take some of the power out of it.

Patton immediately cooed at him- it should have been annoying; it wasn’t- and wrapped him up in his arms properly, muttering little of courses and do you need anything?s. Remus melted into him, finally claiming that spot in his lap (and any jokes his mind might have had about that were long gone, by then), shaking his head and glowing under the attention. 

Of course Patton was happy- after making sure that Remus was alright- to do some of the talking. He talked about his day, what he wanted to do later, or tomorrow, and of cute things that he’d seen, and a hundred other inconsequential Patton-isms. 

Remus was unused to sitting and listening, but with him… it wasn’t as bad as the Duke remembered it being. 

Oh, he was so fucking fucked. 

Chapter Nine

Taglist: @shrimp-crockpot @donnieluvsthings @glitter-skeleton-uwu @intruxiety @gayformlessblob @did-he-just-hiss-at-me @thefivecalls

[multifandomwritings]

Hello love! Can I have a Teen wolf, Lucifer and supernatural ship? (If this is too much, then ignore the supernatural part)

I'm a female (she/her) pronouns, heterosexual (but okay with a female pairing too!). My zodiac sign is Libra. Dark hair, dark eyes and short. Short tempered, impulsive, sarcastic, sassy and very blunt. Genuine and actually cares but has a different way of expressing it. Hopeless romantic (won't let anyone know) but scared of commitment. A Slytherpuff based personality and an esfp. Social butterfly, loves parties and organising events. Loves long letters and constant reassurances. Gives the best hugs and everyone's personal advicer. Loves Psychology and constantly geeks about things I like. Chocolate addict, loves cheesy clichés but pretend like I don't. Loves the color blue. Mix of a Skater and soft Aesthetic. Enemies to lovers troupe?

So sorry for the wait! It isn't too much ^^ I hope you like it! (I feel like my match-ups aren't very good sometimes, but I really try to make them interesting and specific so I really hope it's ok!)

Teen Wolf: Stiles

Stiles would be smitten with you right away, and would appreciate things about you like the way you give advice to others and care for them, your intelligence and interest in certain topics, and so on. Adores your sarcastic and sassy personality too. He'll pick up on the fact that you're romantic without having to be told. Will bring you flowers and chocolates, write you letters, and constantly encourages and reassures you with sweet and clumsy words.

Lucifer: Lucifer

At first I thought Lucifer might be a better friend pick for you but idk! Maybe that's why it's cute! You're both sociable and could definitely have a lot of fun together, but it would take a while for you both to realize you had deeper feelings (or at least, to admit it). He'd be wrapped around your finger without even realizing it, especially since you're so caring and sweet. (Also, goodness knows he's in desperate need of hugs, so if you're a hugger then yay!)

Supernatural: Sam

Sam is my pick for the enemies to lovers thing! Though you wouldn't be enemies in any dramatic sense, you wouldn't get along too well at first. Your short-tempered and blunt personality would clash with his more introverted, subtle one and you'd both be reluctant to admit that you obviously had feelings for that reason. You'd balance him out a little, and would draw him out of his shell, especially when he realized you were genuinely caring and just expressed it differently. He's also a hopeless romantic (though he won't show it easily) and adores hearing you talk about things you're interested in

[zontiky]

The Five's Store au we were talking about?

yesssss the good kush. gonna do this in bullets because i feel like it might get long. jsyk i didn’t read through literally any of this so for whatever typos i made sorry lmao

five wakes up one day (post apocalypse) and thinks hey, you know what would be a completely rational and not at all impulsive idea to follow through with.

that’s right folks. 

he’s gonna start a store.

the thing here is, five has absolutely no idea how business functions. sure he’s been part of a massive organization for years, but actually doing like,, store things? lol what

but that doesn’t matter because he’s gonna have a store and he can learn as he goes, no big deal

it’s a very big deal. five does not know how to manage a store.

it’s literally just called “five’s store.” how did he fund it? when did they build it? nobody knows. it’s like those fast-food restaurants that just pop up one night and you have no clue how they got there.

so. five’s got his store. this is nice. he didn’t actually know what he wanted to sell, but because his siblings couldn’t talk him out of this (read: they didn’t know it was happening until it was too late) they suggest things

baked goods! bicycles! books! postcards! writing materials! furniture! shut up klaus nobody is selling what you’re about to suggest shUT UP-

so five decides, fuck it, and just. shoves everything into this store. how? i don’t know. nobody does.

i literally have no ideas how stores work so im playing all of this by ear (vanya if you’re out there) but five also doesn’t know how stores work so it’s all good. gucci, if you will. five has probably stolen gucci before, for a mission or something idk just a thought

so five has his store but he’s so bad at managing it. first off, hiring employees didn’t occur to him. it’s just five in a building

customer: *walks in* hello can i have a cake pleasefive: sure :) five: *gives them a pie*customer: little boy, who do you think you are? i said a cakefive: cake? oh shit you’re right, sorry.five: *gives them a breadroll* :)customer: what a rude little boy! let me speak to your manager. is it even legal for a teen to be employed?(he passes as 15 ok props to aidan for being older than his character’s physical age lmao)five: ok *walks out into the back room* *walks back in* hi what can i help you with

the kids love him though. it’s always “mommy when can we shop at five’s again?” etc etc and five is like. shitposting irl. without realizing. he genuinely doesn’t know the difference between types of cheeses. he can’t tell you how an LED is different from a fluorescent bulb. he actually, literally, doesn’t know this shit.

why is he in charge of a store? fuck if i know, but im having fun with this

the siblings try to help out, but it ends with five kicking them out because they were “arranging the cacti wrong” or “messing with the bathroom toilet covers too much” 

what are bathroom toilet covers? idk but we have them in my house and we only use them for christmas theyre the worst. imagine a fucking snowman staring at you everytime you want to take a shit. goodluck

five loves his store dearly tho

from offbrand cream cheese to onbrand sweatervests.

hm luther probably tries to help with the gardening section once in a while. he comes in and immediately has to hold back tears because “five when was the last time you watered these begonias.”

‘oh last week probably i dont know’

“five you have to water them at least once a day”

‘how was i supposed to know that’

“five you OWN a STORE-”

so yeah luther just. silently looms in the corner. watering plants. he scares asshole customers away even though he never says anything he just stands there. and waters the plants. some nice ladies initiate conversation and he just goes off about plant things which is so valid i love him

he’s like hargid but less rough around the edges. friendly giant. bfg but with plants. five never comments on how he takes a plant home occasionally. 

diego sticks around the cutlery for reasons well known. he always tries to take knives home, to sharpen them, he claims, but five draws the fucking line there.

im making it sound like five owns some massive corporate building. no. his store is like a very compact IKEA. it has everything an ikea would, but it’s barely the size of a target. actually targets are pretty big. walmart maybe? dollar store? bigger than a dollar store though. hmmm just an average department store

lowes. that’s it. it’s like an ikea but the size of a lowes. five owns a lowes called Five’s Store. 

okay so allison’s sole purpose is to stand outside and offer free autographs. she basically bribes people into going in. it’s like walmart. as soon as you go in you physically can’t go out without buying something. 

jk she also helps five with his customer service because what the fuck it’s terrible. also funding. she’s a rich actress. all of them have an inheritance probably though, but five didn’t want to use reggies money because this is all a really huge “fuck you” to dad. cheers to him. 

OH MY GOD ALLISON PROBABLY SHOOTS ADS FOR FIVE’S STORE (in future mentions will be abbreviated to FS for my convenience) AND THAT’S HOW THEY GET TRACTION YES

klaus and ben kinda uhhhh hang around. klaus is kicked out by five a lot because “don’t touch that” “get your hands off” “where did you get a chainsaw? put that down, klaus stop-” and all that usual average stuff, but when they need it klaus is willing to be a cashier for a little bit

ben is the only one with like. actually useful tips. 

ben voice: no that’s not how you purchase items to sellfive: ???ben: here okay just go do something else and let the adults handle the money okay?

five can’t punch ben because he’s dead so HA. klaus probably makes ben corporeal though rip

ooo ben can also shelve things with his interdimensional wiggly worms! he can reach those high high shelves that have packaged stuff on them.

…costco? no i dont think FS is as massive as costco moving on

ben shelves stuff. we are eternally grateful for that. bless

vanya is the only actual competent adult you guys know this right. like sure the rest of them come CLOSE (mainly ben and allison, but ben doesn’t really count because he’s dead) but vanya is the only actual competent adult in this family (pogo dni)

so vanya does the taxes. rip to her. nobody likes taxes, but she’s taking one for the team

diego helps sometimes. tries to help sometimes. he brings her coffee does that count

kidding, diego knows how to taxes a little bit. emphasis on the “little” and “bit” and the silent “barely”

so yeah they all help out and i know i said five kicks them all out but i lied that never really happens. the store is like their side job but they’re not paid and it’s more of a hobby that got out of control

honestly five probably brings grace in and she bakes away because it makes her so happy that her cookies can make so many people happy. let her bake please.

claire probably owns an easy bake oven. just saying

yeah five has a store and it’s the literal best thing. it’s midnight so im gonna cut myself off but skjfsk this au is amazing thank you spencer for this golden concept

im gonna be honest all of this really reminds me of my mcdonalds five au which i might ramble about if requested lol

[ifuckekureto]

ch 56

I should probably wait until I have more energy to write this so that it’s coherent, but whatever, let’s just dive in!

First of all: AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Second of all: Seishiro still hasn’t appeared yet. #freeseishiro2k17

Moving on...

So Guren and Yuu are reunited!! Tbh after waiting a month for each chapter to come out (which is totally fine, I understand that writing/drawing manga takes a lot of work!), the reunion wasn’t a big deal for me. And Guren of course did the classic “let me just drop in and say hi casually after being gone for a really long time under concerning circumstances.” 

Speaking of Guren... Well, I mentioned in an earlier post that I think Mahiru was using literal language when saying that Guren’s squad would fall apart if they found out they had died and been resurrected. With that being the case, that’s probably why Guren knocked them out. But I will say, I am a teensy bit tired of that constantly happening to them because they’re really cool fighters and they get shortchanged a lot by getting knocked out all the time in the LNs and now here. I don’t think I can complain too much since they’re only minor characters, and Shinoa’s squad is definitely supposed to be the focus of the manga. I think my greater interest in Guren’s squad is due to the fact that I’m closer in age to them and can relate a bit more, if that makes sense. And their character designs are just 👌 👌 👌 amazing. I’m also probably just salty that they only have 2 years left to live... The only things that could help them are probably just as bad as the Seraph of the End. RIP minor characters.

AND MAHIRU ASKLASJASAKSKAS There was a lot of interesting stuff about her in chapters 54 & 55, but ngl I don’t feel like recapping what is probably already obvious to you. Anyways, I LOVE that Byakkomaru is looking out for Shinya because that was one of my headcanons and :’) Because it’s a demon, the concern is probably more related to Byakkomaru’s own well-being but :’) It’s nice to see something I can extrapolate from... lol... BUT MAHIRU! Okay, I’m not really in touch with the ONS fandom, but I get the impression that the MikaYuu vs YuuNoa ship war is a particularly vicious one... I honestly think both are fun, and I don’t really like to talk about ships on this blog anyway. But since I’m talking about chapter 56 in particular, I will say that the parallels between GureMahi and YuuNoa are very interesting, especially when Mahiru talks about lust and demons because I’m like YES I’M THIRSTY TOO BINCH!! Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy, if Mahiru somehow influences Shikama Doji (Shinoa’s demon) to awaken and capitalize on Shinoa’s apparent desire for Yuu... That would be very interesting! Of course, everyone is in love with Yuu and each other so who knows what will happen ;)

AND NOW KURETO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA So what was interesting to me was that Guren said that someone is pulling the strings behind the scenes for the entire Hiiragi family, and not just Kureto... So Tenri might be under the influence of something too. Based on the emphasis in the LNs of Kureto thinking about the legends of the founder of the Hiiragi clan, I can’t help but think it’s related. But also shoutout to  @borntobeafangirlxd because they literally called the Saito-Tenri connection a longggggggg time ago!! I don’t remember if Saito’s chains have been shown in the manga in any of his brief appearances, but they were definitely there in the LNs. And it seems to me that the chains that came out of Tenri are the same kind of thing. On a sidenote, remember the weird chains that burst from the truck to pierce the soldiers for the activation of the Seraph of the End? I wonder if they are related, but I’m not sure that they would be. I guess we’ll find out. But wowie wow wow Kureto said Tenri is no longer human... and he’s worried that he doesn’t have the strength to beat him... Which reminds me, that moment with Aoi was so sweet :3c And his expressions of worry made for some very good manga screencaps (though I’m hesitant to do anything with them at the moment until I get some permissions). Anyways, Saito and Tenri at the very least are aware of the other’s existence because if Tenri was manipulating Mahiru to interact with Saito, then he would definitely know who Saito is. Not to mention that they literally said that Tenri has confirmed connections with the vampires which is just crazy since he engineered the Seraph of the End!! Maybe he has contact with Krul though Mahiru since they are both interested in it. Or Saito. So is Saito the one that Guren was referring to when he said that someone is pulling the strings? Or is it someone like the 1st progenitor? Or the Hiiragi ancestor? Or some demon? If I knew more about Tenri, I could probably come up with something better than aimless speculation. I think Kagami will write an 8th LN, and that may answer some questions about Tenri’s cybernetics.

But also I’m genuinely afraid Kureto could die. I didn’t really ever think that both Kureto and Guren would make it to the end of the manga with a happy ending, but this scary. If Tenri is like Saito, then I’m not sure if Kureto stands a chance unless he obtains more power from his demon... which is always risky... not to mention that the LNs revealed that using Raimeiki literally destroys his muscles (which must be absolutely excruciating). Of course, the curse allows them to regenerate quickly... only to be destroyed again... Anyways, in the LNs, sometimes Guren was able to get the jump on Saito even before he obtained Mahiru/Noya, but there seems to be an implication that Saito’s current state is beyond even the vampires. I know the vampire LNs don’t really talk about Saito, but I still want to read them for any scrap of information they can offer about this. Anyways, if Saito is beyond a vampire and Tenri is like Saito... Kureto may not really stand a chance if he wants a fight to the death. Maybe if he let Seishiro out, he could get some help!!!! Not even sure what Seishiro could do here, but he needs to let out soon :’( Or maybe Kureto locked him up to protect Seishiro from this battle... but... that’s probably a bit too altruistic haha rip... Interestingly, Kureto isn’t really an impulsive guy, but he consistently throws himself into these life-or-death situations. In the LNs, he goaded Guren to strike him even though he knew Guren’s demon could drive him to deliver a fatal blow, he stepped up to negotiate with a group of vampires for the lives of 200 soldiers he was leading when a raid on the Hyakuya Sect went wrong, he fought Mahiru even though she was way way way way way more powerful (part of this attack was an illusion, but he did attempt to directly confront her). In the anime, after Yuu destroyed Abaddon, he charged at Yuu and crossed blades with him... like, dude... what makes you think you can win... though because this didn’t happen in the manga, I’m a bit hesitant to consider it as an example of the behavior I’m talking about. But the point is, Kureto is constantly doing stuff like this, and out of all the situations he’s been in, this one is by far the deadliest... Like I would not be surprised if he’s killed or severely maimed in the coming chapters. Then again, maybe he’ll retreat? Which... he doesn’t seem like he wants to do since it sounds like he thinks this is the best opportunity to take down Tenri. Kureto... :’( Seeing as he’s important to the plot, he may very well make it out alive. But I’m still nervous for him :’( And I know that the ending of the anime showed Kureto and Guren wearing the same kind of coat that Tenri has which implies a successful coup, but I wonder if it really is that simple... I don’t know much about military uniforms (especially Japanese military dress uniforms imbued with protective talismans lol), but maybe the coat just signifies who the presiding commanders are? Like I think Guren and Kureto were in Sanguinem in that scene, so that could just be a reference to the successful invasion of Sanguinem (which I hope they talk about a little more). I just don’t think the coup would be that simple since Tenri appears to have connections to whoever might be the real bad guy of the series. I hope they don’t mind me mentioning them, but I saw @lightmaycry say on another social media website that it would be really sad if Tenri was under the influence of this malevolent force and dies in the confrontation with Kureto, but is finally freed of it and says something nice to Kureto :’l That would be pretty sad :’l And it goes along with theories proposed by both @borntobeafangirlxd and@ @aph-tokyo-london (idk why the tag isn’t working for your url). I hope they don’t mind me mentioning them... Let me know if you do mind, and I will remove these parts. I will totally admit that I’m a bit biased against Tenri, but I’m open to something like this happening. Bring me the angst :’l

But where is Seishiro??? I feel like he should be appearing soon since focus is being drawn back to the JIDA... It would be really nice to know what he thinks about all of these things... I think he has been kept in the dark when it comes to some of the Seraph stuff, but I also think he can put a few of the pieces together himself. He simply may not want to because the truth would be really hard to deal with, and I think Seishiro lived in denial for as long as he could until he got a nasty wake-up call from Kureto that said yes, there is something really crazy going on here and yes, it has to do with our family!

#freeseishiro2k17

[smittenbysizablesinners-blog]

About Me

Name: Ronnie (Ron/Ronn or Ronnster is an okay substitute) | I also go by Tequila sometimes. (or Tequi for short). So that would leave ~5 suitable names to address me by! I have no preferences out of them.

Age: in my 20s (probably older than you :P)

Sex+Gender: CisFemale Sexuality: Heteromantic Pansexual (*maybe* more on demiromantic range in romantic-ness... or i’m just super awkward/easily entertained. maybe all of the above, haha) Height: 5′5″ (i don’t rp as myself really so it’s not like this info is relevant. lol. i wish i wasn’t quite as tall.. like being like 4′11 - 5′2 would have been nice... but i’m under 5′6″, albeit just barely, so that’s good at least i s’pose..) Ethnicity: Italian/Eastern European/English/German (+small bit of Turkish) American (basically Caucasian but I have a dark skin tone for a caucasian - olive skin from my Southern Italian and Eastern European (Slavic) [plus that tiny bit of Turkish in me] heritage). I’m technically Jewish as well as my mom’s mom’s mom (my great grandma) was Jewish and so on, but my grandma and mother were raised Catholic, and my dad was raised Catholic so I was raised Catholic (before I left the church as a teen / around 9th grade i left. Shortly after being confirmed in reality, ahaha xD;) Job: Unemployed atm *sobs* but sometimes i help friends or family with odds and ends for money. i used to do colouring commissions (digital). But I usually too to long and would end up feeling guilty about that so i stopped... And now I’m busier than before so I’d like to create content on my own terms with the free time i have. i’m also a student again. Psychology was a mistake. Now going for a International Politics/Studies/Relatioins | Global Peacekeeping degree and my goal is either to do something for state department or work for a non profit or something. I don’t aim to be rich and super successful. Simply being safe, happy, and satisfied is good enough for me. Though perhaps this stunts my motivation towards bettering myself (through good work ethic and stuff. i’m kind of a procrastinating potato person). Likes: G/t (hence having two G/t blogs; G/t is giant/tiny. if you aren’t cool w/ that then idk why you are here??? this blog is for G/t. Not necessarily sfw stuff either. This blog is NC-17+! (so if you are 16 or younger gtfo); I also like everything International - cultures; politics; languages ; architecture; art; FOOD :9 ; places; fauna; I LOVE CELEBRATING THE DIVERSITY OF THIS PLANET  TTvTT ; I’m  a rather liberal person socially, politically and so on. I will never be okay with bigotry of any kind. And I will not tolerate it. Nor bullying. Uhm. Let’s see. i’m kinda sorta socialist and thus kinda have some disdain towards capitalism I’m pro-choice but I hope that you have a good reason for it and not just because “it feels better w/o the condom”; if your all about that, i’d suggest maybe female condoms - though a little wonky at first - they allow for more sensation on both sides. They also can be used as ‘dental dams’. And i’m fairly certain they are free  w/ most insurances. And they can be put in and stay in for hours before use - so you (if female) good go out and have fun and hook up and not ruin the heat of the moment by condom putting on and stuff. Just saying. (hey this IS a nsfw blog, might as well give some nsfw advice haha.) I’m agnostic though I’m sorta leaning towards atheism. I’m just do paranoid/unsure of everything to totally discount religion/a higher being/etc. I just  sorta seriously doubt it. I am not fond of how religion has affected this planet now and throughout the past. But I can’t deny there are benefits to being religious and don’t hold it against people for being religious nor do i blame certain religions for the world’s problems. And Islamophobia, Antisemitism and anything anti-religion in such ways as the two before mentioned things counts as bigotry in my book and if you recall i don’t tolerate bigotry of any kind! I think the world kind sucks because people kinda suck in general, haha. I will never judge anyone personally. I may feel on the inside personal/hurt/angry feels, but I will do my best not to let it cloud my judgement of anyone permanently and it would take a LOT of hate and harassment for me to block anyone. I don’t like blocking people. I feel that is sorta like denying a person’s existence and sorta says ‘you aren’t worthwhile as a person’. And you have to be a total all-encompassing shithead for me to think that. That being said, I know some people with block very easily and my blog just being nsfw content-friendly would lead to blocking. a message stating why you are blocking me - especially if it’s nothing personal - would be nice, however, as I’m a VERY PARANOID person. Speaking of paranoia. I’m mentally ill. This is really  why I write and/or talk a lot. It is a habit out of nerves and awkwardness. And my poor attention span makes long conversation hard - barring if going off into tangets is okay. I will do that a lot. I have one mode and that mode is stream of conciousness. I know my use of many many words can be annoying. Trust me. I know. Please don’t harass me about it. If it truly makes you anxious, reach out to me, and I will try hard to be more concise when reblogging you or if ever addressing you. That is if you’d feel comfortable asking me this. I may not block people easily, but that doesn’t mean won’t. And that’s just a reality that I have to live with. I accept this. But yeah, basically if I upset you in anyway, let me know! I am always trying to better myself. The hardest thing for me would be to not ramble. If it’s something like a certain topic or word bothers you. And I’m currently not tagging it. Let me know. I’m gonna try and be super diligent (and not so rambly) with tags on this particular blog at the very least. though i should do that on every blog tbh...) Anyways, back to being mentally ill. I have Bipolar Disorder Type II (maybe, that is. just switched psychiatrists and my new one things I may just have regular general depressive disorder as my “up” moments are very infrequent and all I really do is be more impulsive/talkative/jittery/etc than usual... and my mood tends to be good when ‘up’.. too bad it comes with the loss of common sense. I don’t do anything physically dangerous though. Worst would be buying something expensive and stupid for no good reason. I’ve done that a few times. 0/10 would recommend, haha. I also have OCD (which is like useless. it gives me extreme focus, but mostly with dumb things - lists, aphabetizing things, researching stuff on the Internet, basically the only good thing is that I can research like a boss, though bad thing is that i end up spending way too much time researching and over do it... I already mentioned my anxiety awhile back, but I’ve been diagnosed with both General Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder (i can practically be agoraphobic sometimes and have reculsive spells both online and off - which is why i probably will disappear at some point. maybe i’d come back. maybe i wouldn’t. and if i come back, it could be years before i do. i don’t know so you definitely wouldn’t know so puh-lease do not get attached to me ;___; G/t stuff: The truth is - I mostly like fluff and nice, kind, sfw stuff. At least as a viewer. As I content creator, I like to experiment and broach all kinds of topics, some sensitive. I will have characters that are genuinely bad people. Often I like dark characters that go through some sort of redemption. But I’ve toyed with doing something that is akin to ‘the making of a villain’ where a character starts out benevlent and than after going through some stuff, becomes malicious, perhaps downright evil even... a loss of self maybe have ocurred. I am not shy in having characters with imperfections, but in a realistic way that isn’t bad. I mean, it’s not ideal, but it happens. like blindness or a missing limb. many scars. mental illnesses are frequent in my characters and sometimes in a criminally insane way. However, I aim to reflect reality in such sort of topics, so of course criminally insane characters would be a very small minority compared to perfectly safe mentally ill characters. But, in any case, as I said, I plan on using extensive tags this blog WILL have (some) VORE. But it is NOT the focus of the blog and I don’t really draw vore - well i haven’t really done so yet... And in writing, I tend to making a horror element. Though I am somewhat fond of  “safe” (platonic or not) vore.. I’m rather confused about it and have a hard time considering plausible within my own content. So in my writing it would be fatal and not with any main characters of anything...mostly just poor SOBs and such... Basically, it would be quality content for the vore community as it would likely portray vore as despicable and wrong. As, in a real life scenario, that would be a correct assumption. These would be worlds w/o safe vore (barring i guess immediate puking, but i’m actually kinda disturbed/freaked by things vomit-related. So I’m not sure i’d be able to write that... Maybe i could. It’s just RL vomit that causes me to panic and cry. Drawn stuff or written stuff, as long as it’s not too descriptive or realistic doesn’t really bother me, though i’m not sure i’d say i like it.). Some vore stuff actually upsets me. But thing with me is, I never know when something is going to upset (aka make me cry/angry/uncomfortable/panicky) or whatever, so I just live with any unfortunate run ins with feels as it happens and then move on. Unless, I feel it is condoning a poor behavior and gives a message that is not in line with what you (the writer) indicates it is, then I’ll just nothing. And if i do say something, it won’t be in a hostile way, it would just be hey, x action actually kinda indicates y because of z. just thought i’d let you know if interpretations of this that reflects what i just by readers would bother you. if not, or if you disagree, than that’s cool too. I was just staying that just in case that would bother you and thus maybe you’d want to change things. but it’s totally your decision and i’m not pushing either way. blah blah some rambling because i’m trying not be offending while likely saying things that may offend. I have a hard time not being blunt and firm with my words. So basically take anything I say with a grain of salt. Sometimes I open my mouth when i shouldn’t. If I made you upset, just let me know what i did and why it upset you and i’ll apologize (within reason. like if you were a jerk and i was just like ‘oh stop that shit already’, i’m not gonna say sorry if you were legitmately being a jerk. but otherwise, i’m quick to say ‘sorry’. i’m always saying sorry. sometimes i’m wanting to say sorry but i’m too anxious too. so keep that in mind as well. Uhm. I like M/f and M/m content the most. F/f is p. cool too. Poly Relations that mixes M/m, M/f and/or F/f are cool too (all types of combos as long as there are no “m” with a “F”...not to knock on that, just isn’t my thing.. So yeah, as I hinted, i’m noot really a fan of F/m.. and I’m not gonna make much content with that (though i do have a canon F/m pairing in one of my worlds/series/story/idk what to call it. don’t expect much of them though.). But in all honest, there’s a lot of F/m stuff out there and my content isn’t mediocre at best so it’s not really a loss to the F/m community that i’m not doing much of that.Also, please don’t request content. I may see on your blog at some point you wish there was ‘x’ and/or ‘y’ content and this may prompt me to write or draw something like that. but it might not either. In a nutshell, I do what I what when I want. I know that’s kinda selfish but that mindset - when in connection with just leisure activities keeps me sane!You can ask any question. I just might not answer. If I’m not gonna answer, I respond with something random. And I’m unlikely to respond with drawings. Too much effort. Sorry.In theory, I’d like to RP. But I’m just not the right kind of person for a serious RP. i’d only want to do a detailed, literate story RP and i’d only be able to do like one respond a day - if that. So it’s kinda a waste of someone’s time to RP with me.  And I think I’d just prefer to write drabbles/one-shots or draw my characters or whatever. I don’t give my characters enough love. They kind just sorta chill in my mind not doing anything a vast majority of the time, haha xD So long story short, I’m not RPing currently. Sorry. And if/when I RP, I am not myself. I separate my interest/fantasy of G/t with my reality. Just trying to keep sane. Not trying to knock on people whom identify as a giant or tiny or whateverIDK what else to say. Probably am missing important stuff, while writing too much frivolous stuff, heh... I’ll probably edit this every now and that ^^