#in case it isn't abundantly clear lol

[dragonsarecats]

To be fair CF is just as much about found family than VW

Hi anon! I'm gonna link the post I talked about the Golden Deer here for clarity's sake lol.

I think when discussing themes of found family in different three houses routes, it's important to talk about Byleth. In a game where the single, main variable between possible futures is Byleth's interference, it means the story has to be written in a particular way--I mentioned this before when talking about character supports and endings; each character needs to be able to have a romantic ending with Byleth, which affects how their supports are written. In the case of the Lord's, this means you're given tangible reasons why you should've chosen them.

I mean. Let's be real here. Claude has the highest survivability rate of any character in the base game. He can't die if you're completing Verdant Wind (for obvious reasons), or Blue Lions. He's heavily implied to live to see another day in Silver Snow, and you can spare him in Crimson Flower! Edelgard and Dimitri die without the professor's stabilizing influence--but Claude? What does he lose without the professor.

That's sort of how I determine subtler themes of each route in a way--by comparing what you get with and without Byleth.

So when I argue that Verdant Wind is the most about found family, I mean it thematically; the other routes don't have tangible less found family, but without Byleth members of the Golden Deer just blatantly disappear unrecruited post time skip in several routes!

Without Byleth, the option for found family is removed for Claude in a big way, I personally feel, and not just by full recruitment runs lol. Not completely, of course--even in Crimson Flower a recruited Lorenz laments having to face off against Claude and Hilda is willing to die in defense of him and the city--but enough that it was blatantly shocking to me that if you don't recruit Marianne, she does not appear at all post time skip, no exceptions.

In a narrative sense, perhaps slightly unshocking; but in a practical sense? This leaves Claude without a healer.

Claude can't hold onto all his Deer even if you don't recruit any of them in the Academy phase. Silver Snow, Azure Moon, Crimson Flower--Marianne will always be gone; consistent, non variable. Depending on the route other characters like Lorenz might disappear as well.

The themes of found family are prevalent in all the routes, but since each route is pretty much defined by the Lord who leads it, I feel as though their personal relationship with the found family is most defining, if that makes sense.

People stand by Edelgard, Dimitri, and even Rhea for better, or for worse. Even recruited, characters like Felix make it abundantly clear that switching sides doesn't change the immense emotional attachment they have to their original lord.

This just. Isn't true for Claude.

Without Byleth, he doesn't get to keep everyone together. Without Byleth Hilda is recruitable in two routes. The idea that you could ever do the same with Hubert or Dedue is blatantly laughable.

Byleth's presence is what enables Edelgard, Dimitri, and Rhea to remain the most of themselves, if that makes sense. Edelgard's war strategy in Crimson Flower is a lot less aggressive and scorched earth then it is in the other two routes because she's had the professor as an emotional rock. Similarly for Dimitri, he's able to recover because Byleth is there to keep him alive and safe. And then Rhea will blatantly die in the Verdant Wind route where she doesn't in Silver Snow. Byleth, in every sense of the word, keeps these three characters alive and well.

But without her? They still inspire loyalty and devotion--unquestionable, again, if no recruitment takes place. Dimitri, Edelgard, and Rhea can all face up against you as enemies with the full force of their houses/allies (save for, oddly, Annette).

Claude does not.

Claude's whole route is about learning to trust others in a way that allows them to trust him. The Deer are devoted to Claude in Verdant Wind in a way they just, textually aren't otherwise, and that's due to Byleth's influence, both as a Professor to these individual students, and to Claude.

When I say that Verdant Wind is the most found family thematically to me, I mean it at a very base level. Claude knows he doesn't have what Dimitri and Edelgard seem to take for granted. It seems almost effortless, in Verdant Wind, the loyalty and devotion he inspires in his friends despite how often you, as Byleth, are told that Claude appears to be an untrustworthy and sneaky individual.

But it's easy to see in routes where you don't chose him that without Byleth, that image mantains. Claude is an outsider. And maybe he doesn't need Byleth in the way the other lords do to survive or achieve his dream (after all, there's nothing saying he can't open diplomacy with his former classmates after he goes back to Almyra so long as he lives to do so), but just as Byleth is uniquely able to be a peer to the Golden Deer, so can Claude uniquely trust and gain the trust of his house in full.

It's not as dramatic as the other two houses, and I think it's the point. Edelgard and Dimitri have already built a solid foundation of devotion and loyalty. Ferdinand and Felix (your "rival" characters in those houses) are loyal without Byleth, even if Ferdinand claims it's to guide her or if Felix complains every step of the way. Lorenz isn't. In Verdant Wind, you sort of take it for granted that everyone will be there at the reunion if they survived the Academy phase. Of course they will--they promised, didn't they?

But outside Verdant Wind, it's clear to see that you as the player took it for granted. And that's why I think Verdant Wind is thematically the most found family. It's not because the other routes don't love each other as much or aren't as complex or there isn't devotion. It's because fundamentally Verdant Wind is about Claude, for the first time in his life, having a group of people he can rely on and who will rely on him without hesitation. It's about the formation of found family, and how Claude doesn't need it to achieve his dreams, but man, does it give him something to achieve those dreams for.

[somebirdortheother]

I reallyyyyyyy love Phara's thirst for revenge. She's not blind, her purpose is clear. She's out for blood, and it's cold blooded. I really dig it.

My boy HUGO IS STILL KICKING! HE CAME THROUGH!

Cleon's walk was incredibly sluty (sorry to those who might be offended by that but it's true). However, I cannot deny that it was also incredibly balsy to try this hard when he's so accustomed to being pampered. I wish his proximity to the old man would teach him about how to be a better Empire but I have zero hope.

Holy balls. I had a very uneasy feeling when Demerzel went to see Halima. Something was really off. She looked distressed. And when Halima got it… Man! So I did not cry, I did not cry, but I was in serious pain. That was so messed up. And beautiful. I really loved that Halima didn't equate having a soul with being a being of blood and flesh. It's more profound than that for her. Very spiritual. I loved it.

Wow. Alright so I wouldn't care about dying, I would want to experience the jump to its full force. I don't care. It looks marevellous.

Demerzel is giving mad sass to Cleon! He didn't see nothing and she's onto him! It feels like, although she's programmed to be loyal, her heart isn't in it that much anymore. They're all messed up, she put up with their shit for a long while but everyone has a breaking point. I wonder if she could overrule her own programming. Hack herself.

FNG

I am wheezing at this commentary 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Dear FNG and everyone who has watched foundation,

may be the funniest review of Cleon XIII walking the Spiral I’ve ever heard. Was it the “I don’t need to cover up like the rest, I’d rather suffer but look hot”, or the “snatches Demerzel’s salt crystal and lovingly tells her that it’s so that ‘it’s like you’re always there with me’”, or the “mad sass at Halima’s direction when all the zephyrs were impressed with his fake vision” - that made it slutty for you? 🤣🤣🤣

Calling on fellow Cleonologists to weigh in on the Thirteenth’s slutty walk: @helenvader @lady-of-imladris @vellichormybeloved @brotherdusk @coopsgirl @occasionalmaven @coraleethroughthelookingglass @iamstartraveller776

Edit: this is now a POLL

Well, IN HIS DEFENCE, despite being an insufferable dick about it - his experience with the man he met was genuine and it’s impossible for that not to deeply affect him. Although, of course, he’s still very self-serving.

A moment of silence for Halima. Yes, she is unfortunately the definition of “Fuck around and find out” in this universe… Her final scene with Demerzel was absolutely brilliant, she was the bigger person to the end, and it was abundantly clear how conflicted Demerzel was about the whole thing.

Re: Demerzel. LOL “hack it” - I would like to challenge you on one thing — if you rewatch her old brief scenes with an ailing Cleon the First, it’s clear how much affection there has been between them. Through what she’s saying about working with the programmers, the “we gave them a lofty task”, it would seem to me they came up with her programming together. Furthermore, there are moments in earlier episode where they show that she genuinely misses him. Now, step back and think about this wonderful robot and her willingness to endure hundreds of years of these man children…. That she tries to ensure are like The First one. I’m afraid she has a case of “Cleon the First was the biggest cock of the galaxy and had one too”.

Otherwise - yeah she did put him in his place and he was absolutely tearing up in that final moment before going into cryosleep.

P.S., HUGO IS ALIVEEEEE 😊

[riridontneedya]

What's mine isn't yours / Part 4 ... 

Part 4 of the "What's mine isn't yours" series . I'm sure you all were absolutely quaking in anticipation for this ahaha . Anyway I took some time pondering what direction to take it without it being repetitive ...Alas I had a brain wave and this segment is spicy , juicy and angsty. If I don't say so myself. I finally had Micheal and y/n do the devils tango .. that ish was coming especially if you've read any of the other Parts so with that comes the WARNINGS! If you read this and still read on knowing damn well you shouldn't be engaging... just don't I have other content. Click here for Master-list and to read the other segments .

Warnings: SMUT (with a plot lol) mature adult themes , description of sexual acts.

Word count: 2231

Pairing: Tommy x Micheal x y/n (female reader)

A/n : ENJOY! let me know if you're enjoying this love triangle of sorts .. also let me know if you have any ideas what direction you'd like it to take etc or any requests come say hi I don't bite :). As always a shout out to the absolute babe who gave me the name suggestion @notyour-valentine <3 xx

It was abundantly clear that in this instant actions indeed spoke louder than words. Up until this point it had been all talk with Micheal, but now .. now with his action behind it y/n knew she was in deep. As they withdrew from the kiss y/n stood mouth agape in absolute awe. By no means did she dislike like the kiss .. in-fact it was the complete opposite and that was a problem in itself. She strongly believed that all the pent up tension would immediately dissipate the second they put action to it, but that wasn’t to be the case and now she was stood in a field . Overwhelmed with emotion , a new found yearning for Micheal and a gnawing guilt regarding Tommy… “Y/n” Michael spoke quietly to gently pry her away from her thoughts. Y/n let out an exasperated sigh  “Fuck” she muttered as she began to lightly pace back and forth with her hands firmly stationed at her hips. Michael couldn’t help but grin as his eyes followed her on her little excursion. 

“Well , can’t say I've ever had that reaction after a kiss”.  Y/n stopped her pacing and glared at him whilst  beginning to ramble incoherently. He couldn’t help but chuckle he found her little panicked fluster rather endearing. “Y/n! What is it you want right now darling?”. Y/n’s face fell as she began to process the question . “Use your words darling” he prompted. “Thats the problem Micheal, I don’t even know myself … but in this very moment I want you right now..” “Hmmm , I'm sure you do but if I remember rightly you didn’t want your judgment clouded with sex”. Y/n was visibly baffled .. did he do all of that only to reject her at the last hurdle. “ I have a better idea it only requires a little patience beautiful .We’re home we can do whatever we like. I say we make the most of it, us without restriction.  Yeah yeah I can fuck you fast and ragged out here and that be it … but I want to have my way with you .. have you take me deep and slow until you can’t take it anymore”.  Y/ns stomach felt as if it had be hurtled rapidly to her feet .She had absolutely no retort for that she was rendered speechless . Y/n shuffled back a few steps . Micheal outstretched his arm “Come here love, I won’t bite… unless you're into that sort of thing” he chuckled . Y/n couldn’t smile that spread across her face, it was infectious. “Lets do it” she beamed as she nuzzled into his broad chest. 

Micheal was sure to take advantage of the new found freedom in their pretend bubble. His lips simply refused to leave hers. Like a moth drawn to a flame , at any  opportunity he would take it upon himself to embrace her in a kiss . His hands remained firmly planted on y/ns body. He wanted the world to know that in that moment she was in fact his. The day had left y/n feeling giddy. The experience of “dating” Michael was none like anything she had ever experienced. No wonder the girls in the village during his early teens  flocked in their masses. It was the perfect mixture of wholesome with that delightful undertone of a feverish sexual tension. The day was drawing to a close and Michael had suggested the pair head for a drink to close off the day. Still remaining cautious they decided to go to a pub further a field  just on the outskirts to lessen the chance of bumping into anyone who knew of them prior. 

The bar was filled with a raucous energy. Music was blaring ,  people were bleating along merrily and wildly gyrating , causing their drinks to slosh everywhere. They were truly caught up in the moment. As chaotic as it seemed it  was a perfect environment really as they wouldn’t be the focal point . A place in which they could rekindle with one another,  could be teenagers all over again . They would be free of unwanted intrusions and rogue gunshots. In that moment they had the world to themselves. The pair slopped in and made themselves comfortable at a booth tucked away in the corner. “Ill go grab us a drink”  y/n smiled to Michael. Pulling her in for one last ferocious kiss he draped her over his knees , having her straddle him.“We're in public you know” panted y/n .

Paying her no mind he just grinned continuing to use his mouth to tease and taunt every part of her exposed flesh. “Micheal” she attempted to snap but it fell short as it slipped out as a moan. The mere sound of her made him stiffen with pleasure, he was ecstatic and craved her even more “ Fucccking hell It drives me fucking insane when you moan my name..” Rather briskly he removed y/n from his lap and stood up, taking her by the wrist he began to lead her towards the backdoor. “Where are we going” y/n squealed as she teetered behind him.  Practically shoving her out the door he turned to her “Bed.. now” he snarled. There it was again the sensation of her stomach being flung from a height. 

Bounding up the stairs and tumbling into the room the pair began to swiftly disrobe one another in-between frantic kisses. Michael paused and rested his forehead on y/n’s tying his arms at her waist  playfully backing her against the wall. “Say you want me , and Im yours y/n” he whispered into her lips. “I want you to ruin me Micheal”. The dark of his pupils engulfed his eyes leaving them inky black , he had been handed the keys to paradise and he wasn’t about to waste anytime. “Oh my  y/n.. fuck you shouldn’t have said that”. Unpinning her from the wall he took a hold of her leg and hooked it around his waist. “Jump” he demanded .

Obediently complying she now was being lifted and carried by Michael towards the bed . Gently he placed her on her back relishing the sight of her “ Open your mouth for me” he murmured as he plunged his index and middle finger into y/ns warm mouth. “Thats a good girl suck harder” she began sucking them with earnest eliciting a groan of delight from Michael. He slowly removed his now sopping wet fingers and began to tease them along her neck down her torso all the way down to her entrance . “Do you want my fingers”. “Please” she moaned urgently completely enamoured by his dominance and vocalness. Hitching her underwear to the side his coated fingers began to tease her . “God you're soaking wet already”  he grinned . With a deliberately agonisingly slow pace he probed his fingers inside her .. then began to build momentum. This caused y/n to moan and begin to buck her hips “ Thats a good girl , spread your legs wider for me”. As she did so his thrusting became deeper and deeper hitting all the points that made her flutter. Y/n let her head flop back as she began to pant. “Keep your eyes on me” he snapped , his hand now fastened at her neck. 

Michaels pace had reached new heights and y/n’s body began to quiver . “ I told you once before and I'll tell you again if you want to come you better beg . Y/n began to plead pathetically desperate for a release “ Louder , let me hear you”. Practically shrieking she begged and begged to let her finish . Giving her exactly no time to recuperate from her orgasm  , Michael was already laying on the bed and hoisting her toward him. “Sit on my face” he ordered “What?” she murmured still in a daze. “You heard me .. now sit on my face”. 

Eager to please she carefully placed herself onto him. Wasting no time he held onto her and began to devour her as if his life depended on it. With each stroke and flick from his warm skilful tongue it sent y/n into a frenzy causing her to clutch on the headboard for dear life as her legs quivered relentlessly. Unable to speak with his face buried so deep in her , and wanting her to achieve another orgasm . Micheal tightened his grip around her preventing her from wriggling away . Y/n squealed .

This was ammunition for him as he rolled his tongue faster and faster over her hypersensitive bud. Unable to bear it anymore her body tremoured as she released for a second time. Content with his work he was beaming ear to ear he panted “You taste so good .. I couldn’t get enough of you”. y/n smiled bashfully “I want you you inside me now Micheal” she demanded. “Oh do you now” he chuckled as he pulled her in for a kiss whilst guiding her downwards towards his now pulsating cock . Y/ns breathe hitched as she slowly eased herself onto his impressive length “You can take it ” he cooed as she finally slid down onto him , coating him in her warmth and slickness. “Fuuck” he muttered under his breathe as he held onto her beginning to slowly thrust from beneath . Y/n let out a guttural moan her head falling onto his shoulder. “ Thats it baby, don’t hold back .. show me how much you need me” y/n continued to let the moans tumble from her  as he began to pound at a feral rate. 

With an impressive manoeuvre he gripped onto her and flipped her around so now he was atop her. “Hmm you look so good beneath me babe , but I want you face down arse up” he ordered “good girl” he smirked as she assumed position. “Hands behind your back sweetheart”. Clutching onto them he picked back up his pace and began to slide in and out of her “You take me so well baby” he grunted administering a sharp slap on her arse. Y/n squealed in delight. Micheal continued to throttle into y/n with a brutal pace. As he was reaching his climax he withdrew from y/n. Taking hold of her thigh he tugged her towards him . Y/n instantly latched her mouth onto his throbbing member . He hissed in utter euphoria as y/n’s warm tongue fluttered all over his raw tip “Yeah baby right there” He moaned breathlessly holding the back of y/n head guiding himself deeper and deeper .

His moans turned into frantic pants and grunts as he got closer . His hand scooped under y/ns chin , his gaze was  now locked onto her tear stained eyes “Swallow” he demanded. Obliging y/n felt the sudden burst of warmth in her mouth that began to cascade down her throat. “Thats my girl” he sighed planting a kiss on her forehead. “Lets say we get you cleaned up and then .. we can properly unwind”. 

“Thank you” smiled y/n appreciatively as Michael handed her a small glass of whiskey. Making himself comfortable he scooted  closer to y/n who was bundled up by the fire in a blanket. “Room for one more?” He grinned . Y/n chuckled as she lifted up her arm inviting him into her blanket fortress. Y/n nested into his chest as he drew the blanket closer around them. The pair cuddled and chattered enjoying every last ounce of each other until they fell into a peaceful slumber wrapped in one another arms. 

There were several loud thuds at the door that came sharp and fast. The sort of firm knocks you’d expect from a police or debt collectors. Michaels eyes snapped open … y/n lay next to him still groggy not completely with it just yet. The knocks came again .. this time with more urgency than the last. He shot up and rearranged his hair and looked for a jumper of some description to fling on. He wondered who it could be … the house was his now as his adoptive parents moved away and left it for him… not many people knew about it and with it being such a sleepy town he didn’t know what required such urgency at this time of the morning. 

He made his way to the door , the peephole was no help as whoever it was stood extremely close obscuring his view so all he could make out was a tall dark figure. Cautiously he opened the door peering around it. The dark figure promptly spun round. Michael’s heart had simply failed to beat , his lungs void of air .. the ground beneath him had crumbled away as he stood face to face with Tommy. “ Michael” … “Tommy what brings you here?” He sprang into action not wanting to seem an ounce bit suspicious.

His tone was cool and controlled.

“Well Micheal" he said, using his index finger to push his glasses further up the bridge of nose " A few of the lads at the Garrison told me you were heading home for a couple days so thats how I knew where to find you … but Im here for someone else .. you see Micheal.. y/n said she was just popping out and just like that she never came home .. no one seems to know where she is and for the life of me I can’t seem to find her … you wouldn’t happen to know anything now … would you” ?

[striveattemptfail]

so i took this screencap after i read the latest ep and—

hn. (=_=)

idt i'll liveblog this week but i'll put my Thoughts under the cut

(tl;dr jason's Moobs and artemis' arms are the only thing getting me through this webtoon and unfortunately i am near hitting the point where that can no longer sustain me 😔😔)

(also pls heed the tags on this post bc there is a lot of Wank And Bitching. if you don't wanna read the meandering negativity, pls move along ᕕ(ಠ_ಠ)ᕗ)

okay so Thoughts™️:

i said i'd stick around to make sure lobo was done well but considering he folded and fucked off in <5 panels i can't even judge that

and idr if i mentioned it on my blog but i told some friends i'd stick around for the first season of rho and likely drop it after that

but idek if i can keep to that anymore

i've read a lot of really crappy comics, superhero issues and webcomics alike. i've had my fair share of whiplash pacing and wildly ooc canon

i'm not saying i'm an expert at judging comics, but i'll give myself enough credit to say at the very least that this webtoon is Just Not Good

while i'm personally not bothered by changing the art style—

(actually, it's one of the few things i appreciate in traditional publishing for superhero comics, so introducing it to the webcomic medium has been really interesting to me)

(but that's a whole other post lol)

—they're not using the change to its full potential, or even for its intended purpose

i get that the webtoon weekly schedule is brutal and borderline inhumane for a lot of asian artists, so it's probably hell on earth for western artists having to switch to that kind of scheduling

nico offloading all the inking to another artist so he can get a break makes sense

but if that's the case, the art should be more polished—and it just isn't

it's still abundantly clear to me that corners were cut to get eps out on time with the same kind of length

i'm not an illustrator, and my eye for perspective is already pretty awful with my glasses on, but i think it still says something that my half-blind ass can still see errors

if the art has to change to give the regular artist a break, why isn't any of the art (both from the original artist and the fill-in artist) not up to par?

and this isn't even considering that the art just changes in the middle of an arc, which makes everything hella confusing for a reader who can seamlessly read episode after episode due to the nature of the webtoons platform and the webcomic medium in general

at least if there's an art switch in most traditional comics, it's introducing a new arc or volume to that series, and it's physically broken up into multiple comic books/issues

the changes in rho thus far have just been ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ at best, and (to me) without any thought about how the style could affect the overall story

to be clear: wayne family adventures also does this. but at least toby succeeds in emulating starbite's art style enough not to break immersion. and because it's been toby every time, the changes in art style is usually only noticeable when scrutinized

unlike with rho thus far, who's had different artists with similar but still distinctly different styles

so the abrupt art change is not only impacting the immersion of a reader but the effectiveness of the storytelling

and i don't even wanna get into patrick young's abysmal writing thus far. i know better than to yell on the internet about comic writers after namedropping them lol

i love jason. i genuinely like his rebirth outlaws team. for all the flack i give lobdell for rhato (2011) and in general, he did some actually decent things for all three outlaws during their 2016 run onwards

(some things. i'm still not forgiving him for rhato (2016) #25, or the fact that willis todd was apparently gd wingman, or for a lot of other things, but that is a discussion for yet another post lol)

i honestly cannot say the same for patrick young's writing

aside from the (fucked up) storyline happening to bizarro, i stand by my point that the highlight of every arc thus far has been the villains

which would be a compliment if it weren't for the fact that the series is supposed to be about the titular (anti) heroes of the story, or if the heroes were just written half as well

and yet?? i've been disappointed by every development for jason, and the mostly lack thereof for artemis, much less the downright disrespectful treatment for all the other characters introduced thus far

bizz really is the best boy, not only for his kind nature but for being the only decently written character out of the three

i get that superhero comics allows for different characterizations and the webtoon is continuing that tradition

doesn't mean i like what's happened to most of the characters

it's just........it's been really disappointing reading this webtoon

and i honestly feel bad for those who've spent hard earned coins unlocking any of this webtoon's fastpass eps

verdict: am i gonna drop this sooner than i thought? likely so

unfortunately for me i am a stubborn masochist of a stan so i'll be testing how long i can hold on just out of love for these characters 🥴🥴🥴

[boggleoflight]

Pls I want to know about Yllis being Fraught in Shadowbringers

AAAAHHHH THANK YOU FOR ASKING okay SO! This is going to be long so I'm going to put it under a read-more to save everyone's dashboards lol

Just before ShB, when the Scions and her brother have all been spirited away to the First, F'yllis is at one of her lowest points, emotionally. She doesn't know what's going on, and the people in her life who would be best equipped to know are unconscious in Dawn's Respite with their very souls just missing. The inevitability of war is hanging heavy on her mind. She feels powerless, and when the mysterious figure with a voice she can't quite pin down finally gives her a concrete direction, and she's tentatively confident the Garleans aren't going to run amok the instant she's gone, she feels she has little choice but to trust in him.

Arriving squinting into the First, that feeling of having little choice doesn't fade. It isn't the actual act of saving it that bothers her, because she would take that choice without hesitation regardless. Rather, it's the fact that to achieve that, she has no choice but to put her trust in (and in the case of Emet-Selch for a while, begrudgingly tolerate) figures that are in no way hiding the fact that they're keeping secrets from her even as she risks her life.

When she finally realizes that she truly has no privacy here, it only builds on top of that feeling. With the increasing agony of the Light pushing at her soul, the stress and building tension, and the creeping suspicion (that she tries to push down) of who the Crystal Exarch may truly be, she can't even count on the knowledge that she could retreat to some measure of dignified solitude to catch her breath. She has to trust that these figures that are hovering around her are willing to give that to her, for the sake of her own sanity, despite knowing that they will not.

This manifests a lot in her trying to retreat even more and grit her teeth through the turmoil, downplaying her pain and rejecting attempts to pry into her emotional and physical state. She invests herself fully in the world, her brother, and her friends, but it is abundantly clear that there are a lot of walls being put up.

Of course once it's all over, Hades is defeated, Ardbert is 'gone', and the Crystal Exarch/G'raha has no reason to keep such fretful tabs on her, it's less of a concern. With the Light no longer poisoning her, and the Calamity averted, she's able to breathe, and she starts regaining a sense of balance and control. After their ordeal, she and the Scions + F'ystran are closer than before, and it's at this point that she truly starts letting her walls down for all of them in earnest. (Even before ShB, she was fairly reserved, and loved them all but rarely spoke much about herself outside of the strictly relevant things, unless directly asked.)

It was a very difficult time for her, but she considers the time on the First very much worth it, not just for G'raha but for the strength in her relationships to everyone involved.

[harahmed]

S1

back on my bs i need a platform to vent and there's something about using tumblr to just throw it out there in the online void vs using google docs. google docs isn't risky enough to motivate me to write down my thoughts in a point in time when I am so inconsistent with writing venting in general. The past few years I've just been bottling it up and being a lot more anxious and irritable than what my baseline used to be until whatever it is that's bothering me either fades away or gets resolved. there's better coping mechanisms than this lol. so here we go, unfiltered, unworried about how my words will be perceived. just me and my feelings baby

getting back into the 'dating' aka finding wife game is so frustrating. i'm so used to the status quo set up by my past relationship and it's become abundantly clear that among my weaknesses are putting myself in other people's shoes, holding my tongue when something is said to me that questions my morality or doesn't take my feelings into consideration, and listening to understand instead of just to respond. that being said, it's so annoying and irritating how your own insecurities and my subjectively benign blunders have shaped this narrative that I am someone I'm not. someone not worth being trusted because you project your insecurities onto the meaning behind my actions when i am literally telling you that the meaning is something completely different to how you feel. it's so annoying that when i try to defend myself you take it as me playing the victim or trying to change the narrative or not taking accountability. like how disconnected can you be? it's crazy that you literally do the same thing to me where I say things and it goes in one ear and out the other and I can't even point it out because then i'm painting you out to be the villain when "i made the mistake." get over it lmao holy shit dude the mistakes i made were because of a lack of forethought not because of how you feel: that i made them out of repressed feelings towards someone else. it's so annoying everytime i try to stand up for what i find important you validate that i don't get that right because i'm the one who messed up. everytime i say anything that goes against exactly what you want to do then i MUST have feelings for my ex as opposed to anything else when i TELL YOU that is not the case. it's not my fault you and your ex had such a rocky finish that you cannot fathom me and my ex ending amicably and wanted to keep ties because we've been each other's best friends for years. it ended amicably and through our own individual choices because we both knew it was no longer compatible with the way we want to live our future lives. so there is no repressed feelings but holy shit do you make me miss her with your lack of trust and paranoia specifically about this. and it's so annoying that in counseling you literally just put the blame all on me as if your reactions aren't at minimum polarized to an outside of standard deviation degree. like you can't take any responsibility for how your reactions have shaped the situation your in and if i try to bring it up i'm putting the blame on you when i'm the one that made the mistake. like how dense can you be...both people are culpable it isn't just me me me everytime there's an issue that comes up. it's so anger inducing tbh and you're so confident that you are in the right wholly and completely that your brain cannot even entertain what i'm trying to say because that will require you to look and reflect at yourself which you feel no need to do because i'm the one that 'made the mistake.' when we barely know each other and i struggle so much with just keeping outside perspectives in mind. no matter how many times i repeat these things you always default back to your original thinking like you didn't even listen to any of the shit i said. then you say "you were talking at me that's why.' lmao what am i supposed to do when you refuse to choose to work with me in a way that requires you to change your own narrative.

you're so convinced that your initial reactions are completely valid and based in reality with like no emotional influence and then you expect me to act as if how you feel is the reality of the situation. if i give any pushback it's me fighting for my ex. like stfu how air headed can you be "oh if he's pushing back the ONLY explanation can be my insecurity projected onto the situation. any challenge of that narrative is me being gaslit because my perception is reality." if i wasn't going to Vancouver i swear i would've ended this by now. you literally pressured me to come and when i book you start acting unhinged to reality. so insecure and jealous. then you say 'i'm confident in myself' like clearly not because this is not how someone is confident in themselves behaves. 'i don't want to feel like i'm in competition' you're fucking not but you make yourself look so bad and give me so much ick when you act this way. i miss my ex so much holy shit you are so paranoid anytime i try to find a compromise it's me having feelings and fighting for my ex. get it in your thick skull that i can feel differently than how you think i feel. i'm so exhausted and sick of having to entertain your ridiculous narrative and act as if it's true because of your own weaknesses and insecurities. you have said so many times 'so i'm not crazy' in therapy when no one has ever said or hinted that you were but i've def been thinking it and clearly your subconscious suspects you are literally unhinged. then you go to a very basic thing like 'Islamically what's the verdict on him staying in contact with his ex' as if i'm trying to be constant everyday friends with her when would talk AT MOST FREQUENT once a month. it's the principle of the thing. obviously islamically i shouldn't be friends with any woman that isn't family or my wife. then you take that as validation for EVERYTHING you are setting an ultimatum for. it's so wacky my god. i wish i didn't tell my parents about you and i wish i didn't book that ticket to vancouver.

i'm so exhausted from dealing with this and dealing with you and your unreasonable thought process with everything. you just want me to do what you want without any thoughts of my own. just marry yourself holy shit you are so heavy hearted and difficult with this. it's sad because you were so light hearted with everything else but you are insufferable with this. i can't i just can't. when i point out inconsistencies in your logic and the reality you have the audacity to tell me ' i don't feel safe talking to you about this anymore' because i don't just kneel over and say you're right my bad when you are so far from having an accurate understanding of my feelings and of the reality right in front of your face. because you get triggered and can't appreciate your own weaknesses and how they affect your perception because *your feelings are valid.* like yes your feelings are valid for you to experience but that doesn't mean your feelings translate as a truth to the reality of what's actually going on you idiot. trying to validate your perception without fail without compromise is so narcissistic. i'm just so anxious and mad about this all the time now. and you're just so good at 'compartmentalizing' you can just expect me to break multiple decade+ long bonds because you're insecure about what they represent because you are just an insecure person that can't even see it. you expect me to cut off ties with a girl i had feelings OVER TEN YEARS AGO that never manifested to anything because you're insecure. like that is why. 'oh it makes me uncomfortable how he handles his past relationship.' no idiot you're just insecure. me talking to someone i had feelings for over 10 years ago once every 3 months makes you uncomfortable because you're insecure. it's not because there is inherently something wrong with the frequency and meaning of that interaction. yet i can't say that because it's toxic and weird that i would feel that way.

you said so many times you don't understand why unfollowing someone from instagram was emotional for you. like that perfectly exemplifies your problem. you say i can't see the bigger picture and i'm not denying that but that's the pot calling the kettle black. the fact i have said multiple times it is not about the instagram unfollow it's about what it represents ie the loss of a friendship and our counselor had to step in and say that to you as well for you to message me saying 'sorry you cried bc i asked you to unfollow your ex on IG' is ridiculous. it's ridiculous after being told multiple times that is not the issue at hand and just a representation of the broader problem for you to not understand it after being told that in multiple ways for 15 min by more than just me while i'm literally bawling that you STILL think the issue is instagram is actually crazy. that you can be so confident in your perception and your ability to empathize that when you can't empathize and your perception is inaccurate it automatically means the issue MUST be something with the other party involved. i'm so exhausted.

the only thing i can say is that we're both trying. i just WISH that in the same way i can take accountability for what my problems represent (without just kneeling over and saying oh you're right about how you see everything which is what you want me to do) you would take accountability for how your own reactions and insecurities feed into this issue instead of just blaming me and my issues every single time. i WISH SO BADLY you could just begin to even slightly entertain the idea that you are contributing to this cluster of misunderstandings and negative emotions towards each other with your own actions instead of it just being a me issue. you misunderstand me and my words and actions so much it's literally impossible to point out all the inconsistencies with what you believe i was thinking or was the motivation behind my words or actions to what i actually feel / am motivated by when i speak or act. you have issues just as much as me but bc 'i made the mistakes' you can't even begin to entertain that because you just validate that what you're feeling and the ultimatums you present to me bc of that are reasonable when they're just not. i hope this works out because everything else is good but holy shit this one singular issue is soooo much to deal with. and i get resentful bc you can just disconnect bc of your own traumas and live your life without being affected by this when i am just rattled with anxiety and irritability because i can't stop thinking about this and it affects everything i do. i know it's not fair to be resentful bc that's actually a me issue and something i can work on but you present the fact you can do that as a power move like 'oh yeah i'm not SO invested that it's affecting me outside of this.'

also it's so sad that you're willing to follow your ex just to spite me for what my original feelings were. idec if you do but the fact that you see that as such a immoral thing to do with me but are willing to present that same situation to your ex who is literally married is just sad to me and gives me so much ick. it's such a red flag that you are willing to break your own boundaries bc you think then i'll feel some type of way if you do that because you can't fathom that i just feel differently about this topic and it actually wouldn't bother me if you followed him. like it's so cringe honestly. you are so passive aggressive and then when i react you just are that pikachu meme of just so taken aback to my reaction when you're antagonizing me with bullshit and can't even recognize it because you feel so validated in everything you do. grow up jfc

i'm just so discouraged with all of this and so exhausted. at first it made me super sad and i would cry just thinking about how my ex treated things with so much empathy and understanding then i look at you and the difference is so vast. i know i shouldn't be comparing but i can't help it, you're paranoid about something that is not there and don't understand me so my anxious ramblings to you just look like my unrepressed feelings clawing out of me which is not at all the case. but you just don't know me and it feels like you don't want to get to know me if it means having to reflect on yourself bc once again you don't see anything wrong in what you're doing. and i'm just villainizing you when i try to point things out that you do that are suboptimal. what an exhausting cycle. i just want to be in a better place or find someone that isn't so distrusting. i've never been this distrusted in my life lol it's ridiculous and so triggering when you say shit like 'yeah so idk if that means he's been talking to her behind my back' or 'we'll see lmao' when i say i talked about unfollowing i can't help but react. i literally bawled my eyes out in front of you and you just have to let out the passive aggressive immature ass response. and i can't HELP but respond. what a petty thing to say, giving the same energy and pettiness of saying you'd follow your ex when idc if you do or don't lmao. then i respond with idw do this but i am being forced to if i wanna keep talking to you so i'm choosing to prioritize this over my relationship with my ex and i got perspective from her and your response is 'i need space' lmfao. i already know what the issue is...how could you talk to your ex about us?!? I NEED PERSPECTIVE WOMAN and ideas for compromise because you are insufferable trying to compromise with on this one thing. it's my way or the high way and i will fight with every fiber of my being not to just kneel over when i'm giving up something so important to me. so frustrating but alhamdulillah i was able to vent for a bit. hopefully next time we speak i won't be so reactive because i just can't help but get annoyed when you start saying some unreasonable shit because your narrative is so far removed from reality and you refuse to acknowledge that possibility in the slightest

[antmimicry]

I don't often use tone indicators but I find people complaining about them specifically with "ugh why should I have to learn and remember all these things??" deeply disingenuous. do you also complain about tbh, omg, lol, lmao, imo, ime, ofc, tl;dr, wyd, tfw, lmk, afaik, fyi, idk, ikr, nbd, omw, smh, wtf, tmi, etc. etc. etc.? or do you use them regularly and have no problem with them?

if you do in fact have problems with these and complain about them then like. carry on! I certainly am sympathetic to people who genuinely have a hard time remembering these things. but I'm pretty sure that isn't the case for the majority of people making these complaints; it's just abundantly clear that like, whatever issue you have isn't because of the use of acronyms and shorthand terms. if you used and were exposed to tone indicators frequently you wouldn't have these issues with them, just like with all those other acronyms you are familiar with! so if you're gonna complain, at least don't lie about it, we all know that 'using acronyms' isn't your problem so let's not keep pretending it is. c'mon.

people find ways to streamline and shorten things to make communication easier, that's all tone indicators are! that's all these acronyms are, too! you don't have to like or use tone indicators but don't pretend you don't do the same exact thing too

[whentherewerebicycles]

when i talk with my mentees or students in my program about grad school, they are often like “i really love research and i want to get a PhD, but my professor / advisor / grad TA told me not to bother because there are no jobs.” and my reaction is always like... okay, yes, it IS important to know going in that there will likely not be an academic job at the end (and that this will have virtually nothing to do with your individual worth or value as a scholar and everything to do with luck, the vagaries of the job market that year, and a million other factors that are almost wholly outside your control). we DO have an ethical responsibility to help students understand and really think through the realities of grad school, including but not limited to: the terrible job market, the low stipends, the university’s exploitation of grad labor, the need to balance research obligations with several side hustles, the possibility that it may limit your ability to have a family (or to support family who are dependent on your wages), the often desperately inadequate mentoring/support structures (esp for BIPOC, women, queer and trans people, etc.), the ‘weed-out’ culture of many academic disciplines, and just in general the ways that academia can crush a person’s spirit.

but good lord! if you can get in & if you can go into the experience with your eyes open, with a good support network around you & at least a nascent critical consciousness around academic values/structures, then DO IT. there is no other profession, no other environment that i can think of, that gives you this kind of flexibility and freedom to pursue your own learning. you get to spend six to nine years of your life deeply immersed in researching, reading, writing, reflecting, and teaching. there are real tradeoffs -- mostly financial but also spiritual/emotional -- but my god, to have time, space, institutional resources, and a little bit of real intellectual freedom? it is a rare and incredibly precious thing. and if the idea of experiencing that truly lights you up inside, then by all means, you should go for it.

i try to communicate this to my students with just as much seriousness and passion as i communicate to them the realities of graduate school and academic institutions. i think it is especially important to do this with my little group of women mentees (all of whom are BIPOC, many of them queer-identified, all working in fields that are still underresourced or marginalized within our discipline). because after two years of working closely with this group of students, i see more and more of the ‘microinvalidations’ they receive from professors and advisors (usually white; usually but not always male), who often tend to gently advise these women out of the profession by encouraging them to aim lower (‘i don’t know if writing an honors thesis is right for your schedule this year’ or ‘i’m not sure you’re prepared to take X course, why don’t you take this [less competitive/rigorous] course instead’ or ‘why don’t you start with a masters degree and then see about the PhD later’), or by sharing only the worst parts of grad school in an attempt to dissuade them from applying, or just through benign neglect (such as giving only blandly positive feedback on their writing, instead of giving them the thoughtful, critical, rigorous engagement they need to continue growing as scholars).

idk man! academia sucks a lot of the time and i think we DO need to be upfront about some of the ways in which it sucks. but i believe fervently that we do NOT need to do that in a “here is a list of terrible, depressing, soul-crushing Facts, now run as fast as you can in the opposite direction and never look back.” there’s got to be a way to advise undergrads that focuses on introducing the realities of grad school while building their capacity to cope with and actively respond to those realities. how can we build that capacity? some thoughts based on my own experiences thus far:

teaching our advisees how to build strong support networks (and helping them understand how/why those networks are so crucial to perseverance in grad school)

fostering a critical consciousness towards academic institutions & norms (so that they can recognize and resist some of the invalidations they are likely to encounter in grad school)

introducing them to the work of grad students and scholars who are either pursuing 'nontraditional’ work within the academy OR have transitioned into fulfilling post-Ph.D. careers outside of the academy (so that they see the diverse range of career trajectories)

actively facilitating connections with current Ph.D. students who are working in their area of interest

taking them to professionalization panels and conferences, then setting aside lots of time afterwards to debrief and to discuss what they found exciting about the experience, what they found confusing, what they are worried about, what they were critical of, and so on.

demystifying and explaining the different implicit structures, expectations, norms, etc., of Ph.D. programs -- talking seriously with them about the different phases of a graduate program (coursework, qualifying exams, service work, publishing, dissertation writing, etc.), helping them understand what is challenging and what is rewarding about each phase

helping them create structures of accountability, like scheduling regular check-ins with advisors, setting deadlines for themselves, setting measurable goals and developing plans for reaching them, making decisions about self-pacing, etc. -- just practicing all the “study skills” type stuff that grad students are often expected to just intuit or come into the program knowing how to do. also having them regularly talk & write through their own practices of researching, writing, revising, etc. (teaching metacognitive reflection skills to help them learn to describe how they work, and how they can work more effectively).

helping them understand what effective, engaged mentoring looks like, both through modeling it as best i can AND through explicitly discussing what a professor's responsibilities are/should be to their advisees. essentially i want them to leave our advising relationship with the following things: 1) an understanding of what engaged mentorship can look/feel like; 2) a clear sense of the kind of advising/feedback they personally find most useful or generative; 3) a clear sense of what advisees are 'allowed’ to ask of their professors; and 4) lots and lots of practice asking different professors for the feedback they need (bc experience helps dispel fear/anxiety around communicating with professors).

[cuddlyscribe]

So glad to see that your askbox is open! Can I have hcs for Atomic Samurai, Metal Bat & Saitama on how they comfort their chubby fem!s/o who feels insecure about their stretch marks inside their thighs ?

of course!! we love our opm boys, hope you enjoy!

tag list (DM me to join!) ➜ @dahlias-love @simply-trash5 @clemmywrites @arysha-brs @gera-gera-chan @helloyellowsheeps 

Atomic can feel that you are uneasy about something right away, though he doesn't know what about

He's known you a long time and can sense these things rather quickly

You attempt to hide your unhappiness by distracting him with the hilarious television show that's on!

But he gently takes your hand, looks at you and calmly asks what is bothering you

Atomic won't pressure you, he'd never dream of it. But he knows when something is wrong and he wants to make it better

When you tentatively admit that you are insecure of your stretch marks inside your thighs, he doesn't change his expression

He doesn't want to make it a big scene in case that would embarrass you, so he just raises your hand to his mouth and kisses it ever so gently

He reminds you that you are perfection personified in his eyes, that every inch of your body is gorgeous

That includes stretch marks!

And he is very much ready to prove it to you, too ;D

Oh gosh Metal Bat is a lot more dramatic and theatrical about the whole endeavor 🤣

He opts to try and make you smile as much as possible to remind you how beautiful you are to him

While he might not seem like he's very observant (he usually isn't LOL) when it comes to you, he notices even the smallest of changes

He isn't afraid to quietly ask you if you're okay, and if something is bothering you

He makes it really easy to open up to him, because he's neither daunting nor disingenuous. He makes it clear it's just you and him here, and there's nothing to fear

You candidly open up about your insecurity pertaining to your stretch marks

Metal Bat just jumps up and takes you with him, holding you close and giving you this dramatic kiss

He excitedly tells you how much he loves your stretch marks! That he loves to trace them and how he adores when it tickles you

He makes it abundantly clear that your stretch marks are nothing to be insecure about, that they make you you and that is beauty in itself

Smooth. Bastard

You're sitting on the couch one night, catching your guys' favorite movie marathon before you head to sleep

Saitama, being all touchy as he is, slowly rests a hand on your thigh

As he moves his fingers closer inward, he watches your reaction closely and notices your discomfort

You pull your thigh away slowly, as if you're trying not to make him upset

Immediately he turns to you and gives you a concerned look, as you had never shrunk from his touch before. He's worried that he has made you uncomfortable in any way

He asks if you are alright, if he made you feel unsafe. When you shake your head profusely, he sighs a bit of relief. Saitama was genuinely terrified he had violated a boundary of yours

Upon realizing that wasn't the issue, he prods a bit further and asks what it was that made you shrink from his touch

You quietly inform him that you're insecure about your stretch marks, especially the ones on your thighs

With a small smile on his lips, he ever so gently places a hand on your inner thigh and traces the marks

He speaks honestly about how he loves them, and that they are nothing to be ashamed of. Stretch marks are completely natural, and they do not detract from your worth (or your beauty in his eyes)

And if you know Saitama, he's gonna spend the rest of the night (and early morning) reminding you of it

[dilirebas]

I really agree when you said 88 and 30 dont give off friends vibes, its so true when I compare how 30 is on set with other female leads, it gives me more friends vibe and with 88 she just seems so different in the BTS vids for TLB than she does for her other dramas. Do you also feel that way?

It's always tricky with bts footage because actors who seem close during filming can immediately drift apart once filming wraps. It's not always clear if an actor is just being friendly to their co-workers, or if they're not fully coming out of character between takes, or if they're genuinely close with their costars.

I'm not sure if there was anything in the bts of TLB that seemed markedly different from friendship, at least to me. You could see that they were genuinely close and there was a special understanding between them. They were always sharing jokes that none of us understood and it would always take effort to decipher what they were doing. And they clearly weren't in character because their vibes are so different from GeSun's vibes. So just based on the bts you could tell that they enjoyed being around each other more than typical colleagues, but it still seems within the realm of friendship.

For me, it was their 2021 interactions that very distinctly gave off non-friendship vibes. You can tell that they're still close and they're still comfortable around each other (which isn't always the case between costars a year after filming), but they don't quite have the same easygoing friendship vibes that they did in 2020. In 2021, it felt like there was both more excitement and more restraint at the same time. More...flirtation? Teasing? Possessiveness? It's hard to put my finger on what exactly it was.

I think there are a lot of ships where you can tell that two people are friends, but you can also imagine some romantic potential, so you wonder how they really feel and you try to find hints amidst the marketing tricks. And I can understand ships like that because honestly it can be hard to tell sometimes, and a lot of real couples look like friends when they're in public.

But 30 and 88 just don't have that friendship vibe at all. You don't have to imagine anything. At least to me, it seems abundantly clear how they feel about each other. (And honestly they said everything out loud on 4/6 lol.......)

[astral-actias]

I never did finish these, so here's the rest...

27. My favorite kind of cake: chocolate. With chocolate buttercream frosting. The darker the better, on both counts.

28. My favorite kind of pie: you can't do this to me. This is like asking me to choose which of my (nonexistent) children I love the most. Lemme put it this way...if it's not humble pie, and it's not got mushrooms, it's a good pie and I will eat it.

Pie isn't a replacement for cake or vice versa. That's like a sandwich being a replacement for a soup. You could eat either or both but they're not the same thing and don't scratch the same itch.

29. I actually don't remember where I first learned about being nonhuman specifically. I do recall I was in college, it was late at night, it was either my first or second year because I remember which dorm room I was in and it was a very specific layout that each floor only had one of at the very end of the hall, and I was on some kind of weird extended internet walkabout because I was finally unsupervised! With the internet! I could look at anything I wanted to!

...so I gave porn a miss and I went to research identities that were considered "weird." That was also when I finally read up on trans people, in the words of actual trans people. I wasn't sure what it was about either thing that piqued my interest, but I came away thinking, man those sound cool...too bad I'm not one.

lol. lmao

30. Anything else I want to say about being nonhuman? Yeah, a bunch, but I'll keep it brief.

Nobody can tell you what you are. Nobody can tell you what you aren't. Not me, not your friends, not a random person with a divination blog, not the oldest, most know-it-all graymuzzle in the whole damn world.

You just are what you are. Nobody else gets a vote on it. However you came to be that way, whatever it's like being you, how much you want or don't want it, none of that matters any more than you want it to. Your internal landscape is your business and your decision.

In case this wasn't abundantly clear, I'm saying that yes, you CAN choose to be nonhuman. Because guess what: it takes a nonhuman to make that statement and really, truly, to-the-core mean it. Is that circular and confusing and maybe transgressive as hell depending on who you ask? Yes? Good. Identity isn't simple and life is a process of constant change.

You create your Self, and what that means is your decision. Don't let fucking ANYBODY tell you otherwise.