#in fact these kinds of convos are the only ones we ever have

[6ebe]

Genuinely I read so many medical journals on a daily basis it’s quite funny

[dandyshucks]

whyyyy does nobody ever come back to this group fjdkdl they show up once for a first time and then never return !!! its kind of crushing bc some ppl I've been like... excited at the prospect of seeing them again and then they just never show up ever again :')

and I didn't even get to draw anything good while sitting there !!! AUGH

[p-0-p-3]

.

[eatingfireflies]

2.2 is coming and if I don't write this now, how can I get jossed later?

This is the moment when I started to wonder if their 2.0 conversation was a role play.

Like, we know this issue is a sore point for Ratio. The fact that this guy he called a loud peacock in 2.0 made a joke about his failure to get into the Genius Society and all he said was 'I was being sarcastic'?? Babe, is something wrong? You barely touched your sharp and witty comeback.

(Btw I checked both Cn and Jp, he says 'It was just a joke.')

And I don't want to bring up the voice acting because the way voices sound is subjective and what I hear might not be what you hear, but the Double Indemnity scenes with Ratio are probably the most relaxed we ever see Aventurine ever. (I'm talking about the Cn version, but I played in Jp audio and I could hear it there too.) He's playful and his voice is higher pitched, so different from what we've seen of him so far.

It sounds like Ratio and Aventurine have known each other longer than they want us to believe in their 2.0 convo.

I mean, the implication here is Ratio did some research on Aventurine's background recently and that's how he found out about Aventurine's past. So we make the assumption that they haven't been working together for long.

Look, they even did a Penacony remix of their Final Victor conversation

But honestly, you'd think Ratio would have figured out if he trusted Aventurine or not at this point, considering he came back for more after Final Victor (lmao??)

Also, we know Aventurine had been planning for Penacony since his call to Topaz, where he asked for her help. It's hard to believe that he went through all the trouble of asking two different Stonehearts to lend him their cornerstones and then went to Penacony and the Dreamscape with Ratio, whom he barely knows. That's too much gambling, Aventurine!

We know the Family won't let anyone from the IPC to enter the Dreamscape and Aventurine only gets a pass because of the Watchmaker's invite

But Himeko is wrong here: Aventurine didn't go inside the Dreamscape alone and he does have someone backing him up. It just happened that almost no one else saw Ratio in Penacony and the one scene where we did see him talking to Aventurine was 2.0, where he got angry and left Aventurine babbling to himself.

But now that we're here, what did Ratio do in Penacony aside from bicker and betray?

His initial job is to gather intel, afaik. Aventurine tells him to go look into things in 2.0 before he left. And he does give Aventurine updates in 2.1 (Aventurine finds out about Firefly from Ratio) so good for you, professor!

Ratio is Aventurine's connection to his colleagues outside. Once Aventurine's plans enter the Dead phase, Ratio is the only one left to tell Topaz and Jade if the plan had been a success or not. (Aventurine also makes a joke about the Genius from the Council of the Mundanites offering to be his undertaker. In the Jp version, he says 'So the Genius from the Council of the Mundanites wants to claim my corpse? What an honour.' So there's also that... Uh. Idk how dead dead Aventurine really is, but at least we know someone's looking after his body while he's gone lmao??)

But also he's Aventurine's bait to Sunday, the (fake) weak link in Aventurine's plans that Sunday thought he could exploit.

And the 3rd one is a bit complicated, because it is a gamble. Remember Aventurine's E1? Prisoner's Dilemma? Yeah, it's kinda like that. I talked about it before, but let's copy paste it here for easier reading (and because this post totally needs to be a wall of text)

Let's zoom out a bit again and remember that Aventurine was sent to Penacony because Diamond thinks this whole affair could still have a peaceful resolution. Meaning: Aventurine is the kind option. The IPC could have sent Opal instead, but it sounds like that means there would be a body count.

And I think that's why Ratio is here and why he agreed to cooperate. Because if Aventurine's plan works out, only Aventurine's life will ever be in real danger. (And we know from Ratio's note that he also took steps to increase the chances of Aventurine coming back.)

Ratio being there is important to the plan because

Him being from the Intelligentsia Guild removes some of the heat from the Family. If Ratio is coming in as a plus one, the IPC (in this case, I'm assuming it's Aventurine because he's the guy in charge of the operation) chose the best person for the job. It makes the Family happier knowing there are not two IPC envoys walking around the Dreamscape and Aventurine has a buddy who can move around more freely than another IPC employee could

But because Ratio is an outsider, he's also the weak link in Aventurine's plans. Another IPC employee will probably not betray Aventurine, but the Guild has no particular horse in this race. We were also led to believe from their 2.0 conversation that Ratio doesn't like Aventurine very much. This is what I meant when I said Ratio is a bait: Aventurine was pretty much dangling him in front of Sunday, making Sunday think he could use Ratio to ruin Aventurine's plans. The important thing of course is the trust the two of them have for each other (yay, Prisoner's Dilemma). Ratio could ruin Aventurine's plan if he wants to (very bad for all involved because I'm guessing Opal is the next step) and Aventurine could fail (not as bad for everyone involved after 2.1 because the IPC has already won regardless. There's still a Phase 2 in Aventurine's plan and Ratio seems to want him back after that, so I guess he'd consider it a failure if Aventurine doesn't return?), but trusting each other means they win.

Tl;dr Ratio's presence in Penacony is a bit of a gamble on Aventurine's part but it worked well for him so far. Ratio is here to make sure everyone stays alive. (And maybe the Phase Flame? I honestly don't know if the Annihilation Gang will ever come back again, but for now I'm going with the obvious and assuming Ratio is here because he thinks Aventurine's plan will work and work with the least amount of pain for everyone.)

Thank you for getting this far. Why do we think they deserve Oscars?

Aside from the movie references (we'll get to that), we have 3 different instances where Aventurine mentions acting / the 'script'.

The most direct is the conversation with future!Aventurine in the garden maze: future!Aventurine praises Ratio's acting while Aventurine says 'Or he might not be acting at all' (the inability of these two to admit they are friends, but more importantly they don't think the other person thinks highly of them, is2g).

The next one is hidden in the mission description

And the other one got lost in translation. This was translated to 'You catch on quickly' in En. In Jp he says something like 'You have a good sense for drama, professor' (Sorry Idk what this is in the og Cn)

Finally, Double Indemnity. I haven't seen the movie, but it seems to be about an insurance salesman who gets seduced by a hot wife femme fatale into helping her get rid of her husband so she could claim his insurance. Double Indemnity refers to this clause where the insurance gets doubled if the person suddenly dies of an accident.

I've thought about this so hard, let me tell you. What could this possibly have to do with Aventurine and the mission? (For example, 'Hot wife Sunday seduces Ratio the insurance salesman into helping him get rid of Aventurine' etc.) And I honestly still don't know but one detail does help my theory so I'm pulling it out:

The relationship between the insurance salesman and the hot wife femme fatale was known only to the two of them. To the insurance claims adjuster, who was investigating the case and trying to prove the husband's death wasn't an accident, those two are unrelated people who might have seen each other once or twice. The claims adjuster suspected the wife, but had no idea of the insurance salesman's involvement. The truth is, they actually knew each other a full year before the plan was set in motion. Hey, doesn't it actually fit nicely now?

(Spellbound otoh, I still don't know. I have a Sunday and Gallagher reading of it, but Hvy keeps telling me no and making it gay instead so Idk.)

[drdemonprince]

It’s “urks me” anon. I agree with your reply very much. I know I sent the ask but you did not have to reply as in depth as you did and it genuinely made me feel a lot more comfortable with the space you are creating. I kinda wish you had explained yourself that well in the beginning but hey I of all people know online communication is difficult and this is an evolving convo. Also I’m going to be real your followers have been being a lot more annoying than you ever could be and it was affecting my mood when talking to you. It’s less that healthy people talking about risk management inherently annoys me and more that they are constantly slipping in microaggressions and minor misinfo when they talk about it. Even if the choices they are making are (sometimes…) reasonable it is so obvious that they were not listening to the important technical details vulnerable people were speaking and only heard “blah blah blah scary stuff and restrictions blah blah blah” like…!? I think overshaming is one piece of the puzzle. But I think a lot of people, including many so called allies and covid-aware people, simply don’t listen to us very carefully regardless of how diplomatic we’re being. Maybe they think they already know the technical details even though they clearly don’t? Idk it’s very irritating.

Thanks for your message. This is another place where I get very enraged at our public institutions for failing us so catastrophically! We have all been so systematically misled about COVID, and the actual infection numbers and other ever-evolving data on how it's currently spreading is actively covered up, and not made accessible by journalistic institutions, so on that level I do not hold individiduals reponsible for not understanding things.

Chronically ill, disabled, and otherwise COVID-conscious people have been forced to become the public health information apparatus and have done incredible amounts of thankless work geneating the data, reporting on it, monitoring wastewater levels, delving deeply into the latest research, creating infographics, and trying to spread the word to the public about it, but they have no assistance in it, and no platform beyond what they can build online. and those online communities tend to become siloed because of how social media algorithms work, and so people who have been spreading the facts relentlessly every single day routinely bump up against people who do not see those same posts hardly ever because they are in different pockets of the internet. Which comes down both to their choices and priorities, and due to algortihmic echo-chambers, and economic and political incentive structures silencing the work that COVID-conscious folks do.

And yes, also, people very much do shut down and turn away when confronted with scary information... that's a very well-established fact within public health and persuasion science that has remained a real barrier to public awareness campaigns for a long time. People do not process information about death and threat well at all. So much so that many public health intitatives of the past had to limit talk of death and scary outcomes if they want people to things like get a cancer screening or contemplate quitting smoking. the cigarette companies themselves funded "anti smoking" campaigns that were awash in images of death and bodily decay because they knew those kinds of messages shut people down and actually make them less likely to quit. (i write a lot about this stuff in my new book).

This is where conversations about tactics do become relevant again -- mentioning death or the direness of long COVID isn't "shaming", it's not moral sanctimoniousness, it's not "wrong" to do, it is accurate! but it doesn't usually work persuasively. and I do think there is more we could do to frame masking and taking covid mitigation measures as a thing for a person to take pride in, feel empowered by, and feel connected to others by doing, which generally is what we find to be more effective in public health research.

to return to the cancer comparison, we tend to find that "think of how much peace of mind you'll feel after your cancer screening! take a positive step for your health!" is a more effective framing that actually inspires behavioral change than "if you don't find out that you have pancreatic cancer in time you will most likely die. here are the stats on how many people die of it." That kind of messaging tends to make people less likely to take proactive steps. even though it's all rooted in actual facts.

I have seen some propaganda (postive connotation) evoking a kind of positive, empowering idea regarding masking at protests, but I'd love to see more of it. Sounding the alarm repeatedly does not work for a variety of psychological reasons. people get both numb to it if they've heard something is a "pressing serious life and death emergency" for long enough, and paradoxically, they also overwhelmed by the bleakness. we see a similar thing happening with climate change. these situations ARE dire and people SHOULD care, but in order to make caring feel concrete and possible, behaviorally, we have to frame information in an empowering way.

of course, there are COVID conscious people who do do that and devote lots of energy to crafting such persuasive messages! and still have to cope with being silenced, downgraded by the algorithm, ignored, attacked by anti-maskers, etc. and lots of people understandably feel that they have tried everything and that people still don't care. from where they are sitting as one person that's the emotional reality and that's often the lived intepersonal experience. but that appearance of other people not caring was engineered...and lord i hope we can find a way to socially engineer a collective way out of it, because what we are doing isn't working well enough. unfortunately the thing we need the most desperately is just more people spreading the message and giving a shit.

[kiirotoao]

Can we talk about Mileven for a minute. Another reason I don't buy their romantic relationship is the fact that most of their one on ones as a romantic couple (S3) are comedic and not very serious. Where are the deep conversations and when are we ever shown how much they understand each other... post (S2). It's almost like once they started dating they became a joke? Yes they have a few sweet moments but it's also scripted to be laughable. (S4) never showed them having a honest deep convo resolving issues and growing romantically. It could happen in (S5) but at this point I don't see the emotional romantic draw.

And then there is Byler to compare it to, where most of their one on ones are much much more serious, deep, heartfelt, with actual evidence of understanding and talks involving their feelings (which Mike seems to not have an issue with unlike his plot in S4 with El). This, mind you, happens to some degree in every season with Will. If Mike just sees Will as his best friend, why is he so serious about Will especially alone together. Even best friends are more casual then this.

Also a side note. The (S3) Mileven straight stereotype of the 'lazy, lying, clueless boy' dating the 'girl who is playing hard to get to teach her boyfriend a lesson' troupe is icky and makes me want El to find her power solo and Mike to remember that the old Mike (who has a special will voice) is a much better person and boyfriend. Thoughts?

Damn! Well said, dear anon!! I couldn’t agree more.

To anyone who says anything along the lines of ‘oh, Mleven can’t be broken up, they’ve been building up this whole time!’ Or ‘here’s the slow burn everyone wanted,’ or ‘Mike and El have grown so much even after fighting,’ I really don’t understand how any of that is founded. I totally agree and I feel like their relationship has been rather unserious. Even in the most serious love-centered topics of support (s1), connection (s2), breakups (s3), and expression (s4), it’s really interesting to me how their relationship has consistently lacked depth.

Despite dealing with some of the most important aspects of strong relationships, they aren’t close enough to showing, providing, or proving to have one. Mike supports El in season 1 as she does him, protecting and aiding each other with their strengths. But… so does everyone in that season to each other? The only difference is that Mike sheltered El which is very sweet, but not inherently romantic.

Then there’s season 2, which I must confess - I think that their reunion scene at the end of the season remains one of the sweetest moments on the show. Ever. It’s raw and emotional, and this was the closest thing we got to something romantic. But what shoots it down is the fact that their emotion was due to forced separation and Mike’s very real complex grief which gets completely glossed over in the show. So, I don’t know. It’s tricky. So are they romantic yet? They get virtually no time together. It’s a no for me.

And oh yeah, season 3 was the peak of unserious-ness. I also don’t enjoy that trope of ‘the boy chasing the girl who just doesn’t get it yet and she snubs him until the very end’ kind of energy. I swear that that stuff is littered in family-friendly movies usually as comedic relief, and Mike and El just barely made that trope more serious at the very least. Their breakup is dramatized and humorous, and the way that it’s mended still makes me chuckle. Mike offers her M&Ms, compliments her looks, they smile at each other, and suddenly they’re all good again? Yeah, that’s not very clear romance to me. All season long, they keep resisting each other. Mike lashes out to everyone and declares that he loves El but can’t say it to her face, and El has Max’s words tattooed on her heart that she keeps asserting that she deserves trust. The two just don’t quite reach each other that season. The second that I heard Hopper say that they’ve only been kissing all Summer long without complaining about them talking, I knew that I was not going to be invested in their relationship this season.

And so season 4 was truly the nail in the coffin, the final turning point. They’re not only shallow in making up, they’re shallow in being together. El isn’t honest with Mike about her time in Lenora, how she’s spent it, the people she’s met, the fun she’s truly having. Mike snaps about Will being disinterested, so it’s pretty clear that he was dishonest about his true feelings that day, too. And the most telling part is that he’s not mad at El. He’s mad at Will.

I think that what the writers have done is craft something so deeply intricate and hidden with Mike and Will to the point of confusion in much of the audience today. Will has always been a buffer of affection for Mike. In season 1 he’s the one they’re searching for. In season 2, he’s the one that Mike protects. In season 3, he’s the true breakup that Mike fights for. In season 4, he’s the listening ear and bleeding heart that Mike relies on. Their love only gets stronger and stronger whereas Mike and El are simply loving under the guise of physical closeness. I seriously think that that’s all that they have for each other.

That hug sequence at the end of season 4 really shocked me, because when I saw Mike and El hugging (not to mention that shot with Will right between them) I thought that it was sweet, but then suddenly Will and El are hugging, the siblings who are absolutely platonic, and it felt more emotional than Mike and El’s embrace. So not only are Mike and El visually equated to a platonic relationship, but their bond doesn’t even hold the same weight as the sibling-hood of Will and El.

It’s just wild to me that people don’t see it. I think that Byler is made abundantly clear for us to root for. The crazy together scene did it for me the first time I saw it. It was and still is one of my favorite scenes ever because it’s the total package. Closeness? Check. Honesty? Check. Hurt/comfort? Check. Matching, nerdy Halloween outfits? Check. The lack of anyone or anything else to distract them? Check. The crazy together scene is a marker of their relationship, and it never, ever dies.

Even though they fight, where are they years later? They’ve gone through supernatural and personal troubles together, and they’re still by each other’s side. “Friends. Best friends.” The same at heart. They promise to support each other, they reconnect, they come back from every breakup, and they readily express things on their minds and hearts. They’re there for each other and tell each other things that no other boys in the party have told each other.

Mike and El try to understand each other, they do, and sometimes it’s just trying that’s enough, but on a truly intimate level, that’s bullshit. Mike and Will have everything that they need and want for each other, and there’s no going through hoops to get it besides internalized homophobia. Which I very well think can be reasonably addressed next season.

So yep. Byler is endgame.

[toxicanonymity]

raider analysis

Warnings: angst, references to violence, captivity, references to past assault/abuse, warnings from the related posts this is analyzing.

A/N: this is about the hypothetical from today, plus some about the 🐶 (goes into Hunger). Keep in mind I share these because some people enjoy it, not because i want you to read it like AP Lit, lol. 🫣

------

Ok, the kinda tearjerking exchange (not my favorite kind of jerking, but it happened, sorry) starts off

“‘Member what I said after ya ran?” You nod. “that you only want me if I'm good?” A tear runs down your cheek.

I have to admit I'm sad for both of you in this moment. You especially, sweet pea. But also, Joel regrets how he treated you in the aftermath of your escape, and he can't undo it. He's mostly thought about the physical part of it (glimpse of this in the yoga drabble). Now hearing you paraphrase his words, he's faced with the fact that it's even worse than he's been beating himself up over (deservedly, tbf). 

As far as you running away, the main thing that reassured Joel was how you said it wasn't about him, it was the other guys, to which he said you gotta talk to him when something's bothering you. So in his eyes that was his main point. But before he calmed down enough to express that, he was angry and it made a real impression on you. Your main takeaway was that his interest in you (and your safety) was conditional.  You don't think about it a lot these days, and in the big picture it's outweighed by his extreme possessiveness, but it's a thread of insecurity and the first thing that comes to mind when he asks if you remember what he said.

For Joel, there's a whole other conversation happening here (with himself) under the surface.

In this convo when Joel says “that was real bad,” it all was, including what he did in response.  When he asks “we’re past that, right?” he means all of it. He wishes that day would just go away. It's also kind of an empty hope related to what he's done to you. He doesn't think he deserves forgiveness or love, but at this point he also doesn't want you to live in fear of him or only stay for that reason. 

You answer as if he just wants to know you wont run away again, and that's still nice to hear. He latches onto that answer as a momentary "out" from feeling the weight of what he's done, reminding himself what's supposed to really matter to him–that you're "his"--like your answer assumed he was thinking.

—--

Also, a word about the dog. Not everything with the dog is profound. I like doggos and think they should have one. But, the initial interaction/freeing him from the collar is meaningful if you consider who else has been chained in this story (but not lately).  And there's more parallels you can draw if you want to, but I also support just enjoying the little guy.

In the same chapter, it's the first time we see Joel take you out with him as a capable person (armed). Then he even lets you go into the forest alone. The reason he ultimately goes in after you is because he's worried about you. In general, Joel wants to keep you for his own sake but is also scared of what could happen to you on your own (he's almost seen it). You're legitimately worried about the dog’s well-being and think he needs you, but you also just want him around.

Joel despises the addict and the way he treated his own dog. Joel hates himself, too. His thoughts coming out of the forest reveal he’s coming for the junkie as a stand-in and what he really wants is to hurt everyone who ever hurt you. He knows he's one of those people. I'm not saying he wants to hurt himself but some of the aggression he takes out on other men (when a simple bullet would suffice) is from his own self hatred. Normally these men have something in common with him. 

Joel initially rejects the dog, not wanting another someone to take care of distracting him from protecting you. But later the dog demonstrates he's more than meets the eye and has a lot to offer and for good reason Joel seems to come around, even if he won't say it. Despite that progress, in the hypothetical from today we still want more for the dog.  The dog deserves more. We still want more for sweet pea who is emotionally starving and has been subjected to Joel's coldness in her previous attempts to get closer to him. She deserves more. Like maybe a kiss at least (when she's awake). In night air we see why Joel struggles with that, but he keeps making progress. At least he's kissing your other lips.

-----

----

Thank you for reading and being invested <3. Joel's a bad guy but tbh I identify with and pour myself into both these characters in different ways.

I'm tired but this isn't exhaustive 😅 your thoughts and interpretation are valid, too.

[tragedry]

Now we need you to write a tyden confession scene............ y'know, to make things even. Or you can talk about when they realized their feeling for each other 🥺

the fact that y'all are starting to associate me to both ashler and tyden is hilarious cause i'm pretty sure i started this side blog to only talk about ashler asfhafla

but here we are, so let me try to put together a coherent enough tyden confession for you at 4 am:

side note: this got really long way too fast, and i'm pretty sure this only tackled aiden's feelings, but i hope you like it anyway anon!

when aiden realizes he's starting to like tyler, everything just clicks.

he's laying on his bed, his eyes staring up at the glow in the dark stars he's poorly glued on his ceiling back when he was ten when the realization hits him, and he's finally put a name to the emotion tyler manages to invoke inside his chest whenever the other boy would stop scowling and actually offer him one of those once-in-a-blue-moon, downright stunning smiles that probably belonged on a movie poster whenever one of aiden's jokes finally lands.

it's like the last step of figuring out how to solve a brand new rubik's cube, and for a moment he revels in the satisfaction of just knowing, except by the time he tries to figure out how to proceed from such a revelation, he’s coming up blank.

for the first time in his life, his crush on tyler is the only puzzle he has no idea how to move forward to.

if he’s being honest with himself, knowing that he actually likes the halfwit doesn't really change much of their situation, if anything it would probably only make things worse if tyler found out.

and it's not like he's stupid enough to actually believe he's got a shot, not when he's made it his entire personality to annoy the ever living shit out of the baseball player any chance he’s got.

the thought of tyler’s possible rejection inflicts a pain that courses through his entire body, stilling him until he has to remind himself to breathe.

aiden decides he doesn’t really like thinking about this particular puzzle anymore—not when his own emotions have cursed him.

he refuses to think about the problem any further. he’ll set his feelings for tyler aside and ignore it till it goes away completely. 

he’s always been good at ignoring his problems, and this is no different.

with his mind made up, he lets himself relax until the pang in his chest dulls out and he’s ready to forget it was ever there in the first place.

and just when things were finally starting to feel normal again, that’s when the halfwit decided to reply to his text. 

the reply is short, dry, and straight to the point– and it’s just so like him that aiden catches himself snorting when he reads the simple, “fuck if i know.” right after aiden’s last annoying question. 

he hadn’t even expected the other boy to reply, except tyler always did.

no matter how much he purposely tries to piss him off or how many memes he sends the other boy, tyler will reply, whether it was a sarcastic comment or a curse, all of his messages are read and answered.

it was kind of addicting, to be heard-to have his existence acknowledged by someone who had every right to tell him to shut up and walk away.

he can feel his heartbeat racing all over again as he re-read tyler’s text, and as he typed out a reply he knew it was going to be hard for him to fall asleep.

the clock on his phone reads past 1 am, and he wants to point it out to tyler cause he’s always complaining about staying up late whenever aiden’s in the mood to mess with him.

but before he could say anything about it, tyler’s already sending him a brand new text, and this one’s even more humorless than before.

his earlier thought is momentarily forgotten, and he ends up sending the other boy a series of memes pointing out how badly tyler’s killing their convo with his lackluster replies, and aiden selfishly hopes that tyler takes the bait and talks to him even longer, even if just to prove him wrong.

aiden wonders if tyler would hate him for it.

he lifts his eyes back to the stars on his ceiling and hopes.

he hopes that tyler won’t hate him for being selfish, hopes that his feelings for the other boy won’t last, and hopes that by the time he wakes up the following day, the pain in his chest disappears completely. 

his phone lights up with a brand new text and aiden begins to type out a reply without really reading what the text said.

'can you promise you won’t hate me too?'

the reply gets deleted, and he sends tyler another meme instead.

[stateswscarlet]

Good morning Scarlet, I hope that you're doing amazing!

First of all, I wanted to thank you for all the amount of time you put in explaining the law to all of us and seeing all those success stories, we all know how good of a blessing you are in our life.

So, I've been working on manifesting my ex back for a few months now, more than a year actually, and it's kinda embarrassing to me. I'm naturally a visualizer and have inner convos, but when envisioning scenarios like us hugging, holding hands, and being together again (what I've always done before knowing the law and being in love with him) it feels too good to be true, even if I have a deep understanding of the law conceptually. I know part of this process involves letting go of attachment to the 3D and recognizing that my outer feelings (anxiety, fear) and thoughts (how will he change his mind, he doesn't love u anymore) don't define my true self (the inner man that is being happy and in a rs with him). However, despite this understanding, I still encounter challenges when I attempt to engage my imagination regarding these scenarios. I often feel unfulfilled or disconnected from the vision of us being together.

Furthermore, I've been feeling doubtful about all that lately. Different sources offer conflicting advice - some suggest focusing on feelings, while others emphasize decision-making. I've even studied materials from authors like Edward and watched Tom Kearin (BSW), and while I understand the concepts intellectually and have applied them before with success, I haven't seen significant movement. The only time I experienced progress was when I wholeheartedly believed in my ex's return, even if I wasn't necessarily thinking from the end (focusing on the 3D aka he is going to come back). However, now, as I try to embody the version of myself with him already, I'm starting to lose faith in the possibility of him changing his mind and coming back. Have you ever experienced a similar struggle or doubt in your manifestation journey?

I feel maybe my issue is linked to the "feeling" that I do not understand, do you have maybe some recommandations in terms of source, or YouTube channel or else ? I feel like I'll never succeed in this specific manifestation while I succeeded in others for instance my job and travels... it was so hard for me too bc for more than a year I was jobless and so focused on that, that one day I decided I am going to get a job no matter what and not thinking from the end and it happened while I didn't focused on how I felt, I wasn't like "I need to feel I'm already employed", so I am lost in all of that ..

thank you so much for the kind words!

“working on manifesting my ex back” im really hoping you only worded it like this for simplicity sake to tell me, but please stop identifying with manifesting (at all) or seeing anything as a process bc there is NO PROCESS. there is no work to be, no point A or point B, and no one is coming “back”.

the reason you feel disconnected is because you’re still dominantly believing the 3D as a fact/seeing it as unchanging/dont understand youre SHIFTING TO A DIFFERENT REALITY/STATE and not changing the current one. figure out which one. in other words, youre being accidentally 3D oriented.

“i havent seen much movement” excuse me? wym movement? eradicate that word from your loa vocabulary please theres no such thing as movement. do you HAVE IT OR NOT?

stop looking for more material. no coach or video or book can change how you feel internally if youre just looking for results and refuse to completely drop the outer man and their reasoning.

your sp isnt changing his mind, you SHIFT TO A STATE where you and them are together. the one in the current 3D is NOT the one youre in a relationship with nor will ever be, you have to fully drop that version of him.

if just deciding you have something fulfills you, then so be it. do whatever you enjoy.

[astrolavas]

i think it’s kind of interesting with the hexside tracks convo. i actually think construction magic is the only coven-specific type of magic we’ve ever seen hunter do? with that big earth fist he whacked amity with in eclipse lake. i don’t know if that would be an argument for or against him taking it as a class, but i feel like everything else we’ve ever seen him do is like,, not tied to a coven besides that one spell

(this is related to this old post but i put the answer in my drafts and the option of posting it vanished from my memory lmao)

tbh that IS true, i forgor it can be technically considered construction magic kxjsjks

i feel like there are so many spells and different "sub magic types" and magic courses that are kinda unclear which track they'd be taught at or where they fall under, especially since there are some tracks/magic types that we've only seen used in a very general way; like construction or oracle. we've seen manyyyy possibilities for some tracks, like abomination (like what darius vs alador vs amity can do, how differently it can be used) or bard (how at first glance it just feels like a "yeah we use instruments to fight and do spells" but then we also find out how much you can truly do with it and how much actually falls under bard magic through raine) or illusions (everything that gus, and graye, have been shown to do) etc. but some tracks/covens we have really just been kinda... shown from a very surface level lol

hell, i still wonder why anyone would ever choose a potion coven in a world during belos' reign, where you have to choose to only have one magic type, because... from all we've seen it seems like in order to make potions you don't really need any magic (having magic can help but it's not necessarily needed) so what magic DO you get??? you have to get something (maybe magic that can assist you in making potions?) but we have no clear idea what. also considering how oftentimes potion-making is also tied in with other magic types (like plants or healing or beast-keeping) it almost feels like it should be a sub-type of each magic or an addition rather than its own thing. BUT KXJSHSK YEAH like, we don't know! i wish it was more clearly fleshed out in the show.

there's also the fact that now that belos is gone, the society is able to take back their culture and history and practices that were lost to time and as we can see in the epilogue they're actively working on making the boiling isles less... belos-influenced. they're working on that process of decolonization and it's going to be a long LOOONG while until traces of belos' impact completely disappear, but there are already clear changes. the sky is clear again (just like it was in the "savage ages" - a contrast to the pollution we see in the emperor's coven era), palismen are being carved again and palistroms are coming back from being endangered, selkidomus is doing good, the once a police precinct in latissa is now a hospital and the hostile architecture around it (the spikes) is gone, there's now a way to remove sigils and everyone is free to pursue whatever they want. the society is healing. etc.

and covens, magic being split into these clear subtypes- was not ever really something natural. like yeah, there ARE magic types that seem very clearly "thematic" like you can very clearly separate bard magic from plant magic, and a witch can be naturally skilled in a particular thing (like willow or gus) but there are also some spells that overlap and some that seemingly don't fit into any covens at all. belos made up covens in order to limit witches' bodily autonomy and control their abilities, in order to seem more powerful and to create this structure of power. so i imagine that if you are in a coven, in any coven, there are spells that don't quite fit any of them, or some that fit all.

i. ngl i completely derailed the ask and forgot where i was going with this LMAO but yeah

[collidedscope]

After watching Good Omens 2, I have a bit of an out-of-the-box theory as to a plot twist that might be coming in s3: Crowley used to be Lucifer and had his pre-fall memory removed.

My evidence:

Crowley was the one who tempted Eve to eat the apple. According to the Bible, this was Lucifer's doing.

I'm pretty sure Crowley is the only entity who we know is able to stop time.

Adam is described as being "human incarnate"… But he was SUPPOSED to be Hell incarnate… what changed? Crowley. Crowley "went native" and so did his son.

[The more compelling pieces of info are from s2 and they are under the "keep reading". I spent a LOT of time on this so please give it a chance.]

Both Saraqael (the new archangel) and Furfur (the demon who made the Nazis zombies) immediately recognized Crowley, but he had no memory of either of them. It seems odd to include both of these instances within 6eps, especially considering the fact that other lines were removed for not being plot-relevant.

The convo with Saraqael: Throughout the conversation, Crowley has his smiling facade, but looks clueless (even surprised she knows him by name), and Muriel looks smug. "Hello Crowley. I didn't expect to ever see each other again." "Do we know each other?" "When you were an angel. We worked together on the Horsehead Nebula." "I meet a lot of people..." She then smirks and immediately changes the topic.

The convo with Furfur: "We have [met], haven't we?" "Have we?" Furfur looks incredulous that Crowley didn't recognize him on sight. "What do you mean 'have we'- you know we have. We were in the same legion... just before the fall...? Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven...? Remember?!?" "... Well, I remember going into battle, I don't remember being there with you- sorry." "Wha-? I was right next to you!!! We did loads together!!! You used to jump on my back like a monkey in a waistcoat!!!"

Crowley did not remember a very high-ranking person he collaborated with (on a project he was very passionate about). He also did not recognize someone he was very chummy with, even when he was reminded of specific events, even though Furfur had immediately recognized Crowley by name all these years later.

Crowley was able to open the confidential file on Gabriel. And when he did it, he looked like he was trying to open them... no sarcastic remark beforehand, no bragging about his previous position... just Crowley trying to open it. (As if he doesn't remember his rank.)

Crowley tells Aziraphale "I am NOT the angel you met"... I believe he meant this in the sense that he's truly not the same entity... he's not operating on the same memories that angel!Crowley was, and he isn't going to remember his experiences he had with Aziraphale as an angel,

The miracle that Aziraphale and Crowley did together (masking Gabriel) was described as an archangel-level miracle, enough to raise someone from the dead 25 times over. Now, maybe this was because A&C were working together.... however, they were under the assumption that this would make them less conspicuous.

In the instance of Gabriel being removed from the position of supreme-archangel, his memory was erased. He assumed he would be sent to Hell, and seemed to already have a plan for his memory to be erased- he immediately requested a box, Beelzebub had already gifted him the perfect place to hide his memory, and Gabriel had quickly carried everything out before anyone else was even suspicious. Almost like this had happened before and he knew what to expect. (And according to the Metatron, there was only ever one other "Prince of Heaven" who was removed and cast down to Hell.)

Now, the the Metatron was going to erase Gabriel's memory "as a kindness"... So what was the reasoning for erasing Lucifer's memory? Control. My guess is that Lucifer somehow messed up God's original plan... Just like how Crowley was the reason Armageddon failed (I acknowledge there were many reasons why Armageddon failed, but Crowley was the instigator and Crowley was the one who stopped time to prepare Adam.)

It makes sense that if someone upended your system, it would seem like a safe bet to erase their memories and stick them in a fairly low-level position, where they are barely able to interact with any powerful entities.

Who would now be in charge of Hell and why? My guess is that there's some demonic equivalent of the Metatron, and they are given power over Hell in exchange for pretending like there's still a Satan.

Then what was the Satanic monstrosity in s1e6?? idk man, i just go here. Maybe a paid actor or something. But Adam defeated it by saying "YOU'RE NOT MY DAD! You never were." and then it just... vanished??? into smoke???? That never made sense to me... like did fucking Satan just... die??? (Do not ask me what really happened or how Crowley didn't know he had a son.)

Okay now the big question: WHY????

We all know that Aziraphale still has a lot of unlearning to do when it comes to his ideology of "Heaven/angels= good, Hell/demons= bad". Because, SURE, there's been exceptions to this rule, and Aziraphale has come to understand that human morality is somewhat nuanced.

And sure, there's some "bad apple" angels like Gabriel, who just don't understand God's will. but he still believes that God is unequivocally good and Heaven will be too, as long as it's under good management.

Right now, Aziraphale views Crowley as some kind of exception, an anomaly. In Aziraphale's mind, Crowley should be an angel- there really must've been some mistake that he's supposed to be a demon.

And Aziraphale has believed this for MILLIONS OF YEARS. Since the beginning of existence, Aziraphale has been brainwashed. And I think the only thing that will break it is being presented with irrefutable proof that Crowley is Lucifer and having to figure out which one is false:

Crowley is not evil.

Lucifer is evil.

Crowley is Lucifer.

I think first, Aziraphale will disbelieve #3. He will refuse to believe Crowley is Lucifer until it's undeniably true.

Then, I think he will instinctually disbelieve #1. He will believe Crowley was lying, tempting him, tricking him all along.... until he is confronted by every undeniably nice thing that Crowley has ever done for him.

Then... #2 is the only one left. It must be wrong. Hell must not be inherently evil. Which means Heaven must not be inherently good. Which means everything has been a lie. It means Heaven and Hell are 2 sides of the same coin. It means a full dismantling of the system.

It means a full episode will be dedicated to a 50minute "I was wrong, you were right" dance.

I certainly believe this all lines up with Neil's description of s3 to be "Bigger, Louder, Final."

[polyamzeal]

I don't know where I'm going with this, I think I just need to get it off my chest.

I'm a woman in a great, loving relationship with a man. However, I am also queer and would love to have more no-strings-attached sex with other women. Like, I'm not looking for a girlfriend or committed partner, but FWB would be nice, you know? Or, like, someone's booty call? That's not an unreasonable thing to want and *be open* with wanting, right?

But it's like, no matter how open I am about the fact that my husband would *not* be part of this (aside from like a quick convo so he can veto it if he's too uncomfortable for any reason), I get yelled at for being a unicorn hunter. I get banned from apps for being a unicorn hunter. I get underhanded insults about unicorn hunters in irl spaces. I get friends not wanting to be friends because I'm a unicorn hunter, even though I never hit on them at all. On top of that (and yes, I'm not a fan of this either, but it is what it is), my husband has a one-penis policy, so I get shamed and ridiculed for wanting to respect my husband's wishes, too. I don't want to be restricted to cis women only and I see how it sucks, but it feels kind of unfair that I get shit for respecting someone else's boundaries.

I guess I just wish people wouldn't act as if I'm trying to set them up with my husband when I'm not. When I'm specifically looking for things I don't get in my relationship and I openly state that aside from just saying hi to him once, they literally do not ever have to even be in the same room again. But nope, all I get is "unicorn hunter kys". The funny thing is that he finds women to sleep with just fine without ever getting these reactions, even when he mentions me. Hell, even when those women meet me, he's never accused of the same thing.

It sucks. I kind of wish my husband could just get over his fear of other people's genitals so I could just exclude cis women since that seems to be the major issue, but it's not fair to demand that he shifts his boundaries for my benefit so here we are. I guess I'm just asking this - am I really doing something reprehensible and unforgivable here? Am I just the perfect example of the cringe space-invading loser in a one-penis policy het relationship giving every polyam person a bad name by wanting to fuck a woman every now and then? Am I the stereotype of everything you shouldn't be? I've given up on all of this already and accepted that my husband gets the adventures and I don't, but I guess I just want a post-mortem on how much I fucked up here.

I swear I already answered this but it is in my inbox and I can't find a record of answer it so I am just going to blame Tumblr.

You are not doing anything wrong. I think the most important thing is just being upfront and honest about what you are looking for. Be clear and direct with people. If they insist on making up their own assumptions and accusations then their loss.

That being said, I do think your husband's OPP is quite troublesome. I don't know if I would phrase it as "respecting his boundary." I feel like a boundary would be more like "He doesn't want you to sleep with other penis-havers so if you do then he withdraws his consent to have sex with you until a week after you stop having sex with other penis-havers" or something like that where you can decide what you want to do and if it is worth it for you but how he reacts is on him. This just sounds more outright like 'rule' rather than a 'boundary'. Perhaps it is all semantics though.

Putting all that aside, I would say just be patient as you try to find woman that understand your situration. And are willing to trust you to work with your needs.

[lillonvia]

— happy new year, from your dearest lili.

first off, i want to thank all of you guys for making my 2023 such an incredible rollercoaster !! ure all v silly n fun n adorable i js wanna grrRRAAA SMOTHERS ALL OF U WITH AFFECTION TAKE MY FUCKINH LOVE RAAAAHHHH 👹 I LOVE INTERACTING W ALL OF U IT ALWAYS MAKES ME SMILE N GIGGLE LIKE AN IDIOT HEHEHEJFN 🤭🤭 

@idyllic-affections ꒱꒱ ADDIII MY ELDRITCH DEITY N LITTLE SIBLINGGGG 🥺🥺💕💘💖💖💗💘💘💕💝💗💝💖💘💖🩷💘💗 u were my v first moot on this site n ill never forget the fun convos n memories we’ve made over the months <33 ure v dear to me n i herkehehdbd *vibrating uncontrollably* I LOVEEE talking w u n DONT U DARE APOLOGIZE FOR REPLYING LATE RRRRRR 👹👹 /lh ur works always leave me feeling delulu n giddy n i end up imagining different scenarios w certain character nd AAADJFKFKFB I LOVE U SM WAAA

@soleillunne ꒱꒱ ALYYYYY !!! LYSSA !!! UUUU HI BELOVEDDDD MWAHH 😍🥰 i dont feel like weve been talking a lot bUT BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY, IM ALWAYS WILLING TO WAIT FOR U UWAAA ure soso precious to me n i js wan give u A BIG KITH N HUGGIE bc i love u vm n u deserve it !!!! 🫶🫶 i hate the fact ure stressed w education n i wish i cld do more for u to help u feel better :((( but if ure ever in need of some form of comfort my discords always open for u n ill do my best for u <33 💖💕🩷💝💘

@fatuismooches ꒱꒱ SMOOCHES MY LOVE HI HELLO !!! ure so fun to be around N NOT TO MENTION URE ALSO ONE OF THE SWEETEST PPL IVE EVER MET WAAAA 😩 i had so much fun when we were both brainrotting so hard abt our dragon otter neuvie EHEHHEHR I WAS SOOO GIDDY THAT TIME BC NOT ONLY BC IT WAS NEUVIE BUT ALSO BC IT WAS U I WAS TALKING TO !!!!! 🥹🥹 YIPPEEEEE

@areislol ꒱꒱ REIREI MY CONFETTI CREEPER OMG !! m always so happi whenever we talk bc ure SO sweet n adorable n amazing !!! 🫶🫶🫶 i remember feeling shocked when u followed me n dropped by my inbox bc OMG !!! ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS !!! FOLLOWING SILLY LIL ME!!!! UJWJEKRKSJANABA 🤭 

@mondaymelon ꒱꒱ the silliest watermelon to ever watermelon in existence !! interacting w u n seeing the silly things u say never fail to make me laugh BWJERJRKRKIFG m so glad i was able to work up the courage to be moots w u bc lets js say. I DONT REGRET IT 😋😋 ure so lovably unpredictable ND UR ART IS SO NOMNOMNOM DEVOURED N DIGESTED TEEHEEE JSJSKAKAN UUUU i love u 💝💕💕💗

@https-furina ꒱꒱ AAAAAAA FINA FINA FINA !!!!!! UWAAHDHHRHF NSJSJ YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE MY BELOVED POMERANIAN UUUUU RUNS AROUND IN A CIRCLE AROUND U we havent been mootsies for v long BUTBUT OMGG I ALWAYS HAVE THE FUNNEST TIME W U BC UWAAHH URE SO PRECIOUS N ADORABLE AAAAAA !!!! 🥺🥺 i still cant believe we ended up rambling to each other abt liyue hell family for eight hrs straight BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING BC IT FED N SOMEHOW SATIATED MY INNER ND OUTER DELULU 🫶💕💝💗💖🫶💕💝🤭💘 i love talking abt ocs w u HEJEKEJRH UR CHARACTERS R ALWAYS SO INTERESTING ?????? WHAT IS YOUR SECRET ???? /lh I WANNA GROW EVEN CLOSER W U IN 2024 MWAH MWAH LOVE U ALWAYS <333

@umgatochamadopercyval ꒱꒱ CLARACLARACLARA !!!! the cutie patootie sweetheart herself, in the flesh !!! sunshine in human form !! u have such an incredibly kind and beautiful soul UUUUU CRYING SOBBINH /pos I LOVE YOU SM love ur cat too btw JAJAJJAJ IM RLLY HOPING WE CAN INTERACT MORE OFTEN NEXT YEAR UWAAAHHJJH

to all my other moots who didnt make it on the list, M SO SORRYYYY DJJFN I JS NEED TO IMTERACT W U MORE SO I CAN HAVE MORE POSITIVE OPINIONS ABT U 😭 ITS NOTHING TO DO W U GUYS I PROMISE 🙏🙏 but w little conversation we have, i still appreciate each and every one of u 🫶🫶 KITH KITH MWAH once again, thank u sm for such an amazing year !!!! 💕💗💘🩷💝💖💖💕💗💘🫶🩷💝💕🫶

[fabaceous]

Is there ever a hypothetical world where Jackie and Shauna’s situation is reversed (as in Shauna dies and Jackie makes it home)? And if so, how do you think Jackie would react and deal with it?

this is ANOTHER of my favorite cans of worms to open lately so THANK YOU for giving me an opportunity to talk about it!!

i was thinking about this mostly because i was thinking about how shauna's hallucinations of jackie provide us with such valuable information about shauna's thoughts/feelings/desires, how she thinks of jackie, how she thinks of herself (via jackie). hallucighost jackie i think sort of has two sides that are intertwined but serve different purposes - there's one side that's more straightforward and even sweet: it shows how shauna, in her grief and pain, wants to remember jackie (the fun, lighthearted moments; braiding her hair, joking about randy). the other side is more dark but gives us just as much if not more insight into shauna: she uses jackie as a mouthpiece for her own bad thoughts about herself. hallucighost jackie is the whip that shauna self-flagellates with. and she punishes herself, but she's also sort of repressing the fact that she even feels guilty (which maybe is why she needs jackie's "ghost" to guilt her, because she can't admit to herself that she feels guilty). and it all must hurt even more coming out of jackie's mouth - which, if you think about it, is probably why she does it (better fuel for her guilt complex).

ANYWAY, i digress (sort of). my point is, i've always wondered what we could learn from jackie hallucinating shauna. how would jackie want to remember shauna, but at the same time, how might the memory of shauna torture jackie?

if we do a simple swap and have shauna leave the cabin when jackie tells her to during their fight and then shauna freezes, that's one option. we get jackie feeling both immensely hurt by shauna's nearly inconceivable betrayal but, at the same time, feeling guilty for sending her out there. this could lead to some interesting hallucinated convos and, personally, i 100% think it could also lead to jackie doing shauna's makeup in the meat shed lmao. (and thats how you know they're made for each other!)

BUT ALSO. shauna's betrayal (i mean, combined with jackie losing her social status in the wilderness and having the other girls turn on her ofc) made jackie so depressed that she was unable to eat, and shauna dying on top of that would have the potential to completely destroy jackie's will to survive. it would be a big ask, at that point, to get jackie through to rescue. id say its pretty likely she dies of a broken heart, so to speak. like, just loses all her remaining will to live (because her will to live was literally hanging on by a thread and that thread was shauna). the only way i can imagine her surviving long enough to go home is if she has a complete and total break from reality and like, just sort of dissociates from the entire year-plus that follows. i think (? let me know if you agree bc this actually just came to me while writing this and im not sure if it holds up) that if the writers really sold it right, they could convince me that jackie basically goes catatonic and retreats into some fantasy world (one where shauna is around, of course!) for the rest of their time in the wilderness. not exactly the way shauna talked to jackie in the meat shed, because shauna knew she was hallucinating and was more or less able to walk away when she had other obligations. i think jackie would actually legitimately just lose her grip on reality, and succumbing to this would be the only way for her to survive. kind of like the bacchanal but about, like, everything.

the other scenario that occurred to me (and it's a pretty awful way for shauna to die and makes me really unhappy btw, so, sorry in advance) is what if shauna's abortion attempt had gone really, really wrong and she had gotten an infection and died from that? obviously jackie has no clue at this point about jeff/pregnancy/rutgers/etc so its pure unadulterated heartbreak. taissa could play a really interesting role in this situation as the only other person who knows this huge, earthshattering secret. would she keep it from jackie? i think that would be the prudent thing to do. losing shauna would already be almost too much for jackie to take, but she could maybe survive that by designating herself as the keeper of shauna's memory and she could probably convince herself she owes it to shauna to stay alive because if jackie dies then shauna is gone for good. but, as we've seen in canon, finding out that shauna betrayed her sends jackie into a really dark place where she doesnt have much will to live. i think she could plausibly survive with her sanity intact if one or the other happens (shauna betrays her OR shauna dies) but, as i discussed above, experiencing both would either break her sanity or effectively kill her.

and i suspect taissa is smart enough to realize this too, so if she wants to keep jackie alive she'll withhold this information (hide/burn the journals?) and let jackie cling to whatever romanticized image of shauna she comes up with. once they get back to the real world, who knows? taissa might tell her because she feels like jackie deserves the truth, jackie might read shauna's journals from before the crash in an attempt to feel close to her again and find out that way, or even jeff might tell her (worst case scenario IMO)... and im honestly not sure what jackie would do at that point, like, murder jeff maybe? (im joking but i actually am not sure how that whole situation would play out. maybe depression 2.0 but in the real world, but that's not as fun as murder.)

i haven't even said what i think jackie would hallucinate, so lets end with that. for shauna, it's primarily about self-flagellation and self-punishment, although it has some ability to soothe her as well, like when she imagines having fun with jackie.

for jackie i think its actually fairly simple: its obvious to all of us that what jackie wants most is shauna's authentic and full love, and my personal theory is that the main (and maybe even sole!) function of jackie's hallucinations would be escapism and wish-fulfillment, and imagining that shauna really did love her.

jackie doesn't have a self-destruction/guilt complex like shauna does. jackie, i think, would be able to just feel guilt in a more straightforward way. as well as anger! so in the scenario where shauna freezes after their fight, jackie would certainly be feeling a lot of guilt, but she doesn't need or want shauna to remind her, she could just apologize. and she's feeling a lot of anger, but she'd be able to say it to shauna's (hallucinated) face instead of putting it through some twisted alchemical process that turns it into something else. like, i think she actually does have a chance of getting closure in a way that shauna doesn't because shauna would never let herself get closure because then she'd have nothing left to fuel her guilt/self-destruction complex.

i think jackie would want closure for her immediate anger and guilt about shauna's death, and because she wants it, she'd be capable of getting it. but after that's dealt with (assuming she survives long enough to deal with it), or in a scenario where jackie doesn't know about shauna's betrayal/isn't responsible for her death, i really think (and i just made myself sooo miserable realizing this btw so you're welcome. or i'm sorry) that the thing that would cause jackie eternal and relentless pain for the rest of her life would be the immense regret and the feeling that she didn't love shauna enough, or didn't love her right. and her hallucinations of shauna would, by and large, simply be an outpouring of all the love she didn't get to show her in life (and imagining the reciprocation of that love that she always wished shauna would give her).

[karliahs]

okay i have a couple of fic concepts for royal that I don't know if I'm ever actually going to write so I'm getting them out here

i feel like you could do a lot of interesting stuff with actualization and ren's parents. one concept is the gang are prepping for infiltration and ren's phone keeps buzzing but he never answers it and is all tense and cagey when asked about it.

everyone else is curious but respects his privacy. akechi steals his phone, sees it's his parents calling and starts needling him about it. bc of who he is as a person

tense convo ensues. one of the other PTs guesses that ren doesn't want to answer bc it might be one of maruki's wishes. ren is like yeah. if it wasn't one of maruki's wishes they wouldn't be calling at all. big oof.

and that in itself is kind of a self-contained idea, or could be continued with ren eventually either answering or listening to a voicemail of them offering forgiveness and love he knows isn't real

BUT I also imagine him eventually picking up just to tell them to stop calling at least. and then everyone watches as his face goes totally still. they weren't calling to apologise, it's ren's mother calling bc his dad is sick and doesn't have a lot of time left so they want him to come home

and ren gets maddddd. won't talk to anyone until he tracks down maruki, who allows himself to be tracked down for what he thinks might be a successful round of Convince Ren to Accept This Reality

ren is furious. maruki insists he had nothing to do with this, this was always going to happen. but of course. he would certainly be happy to use actualization to return ren's father to good health. or even bring him back if it came to that. expressing what seems like genuine sorrow for ren and this "needless tragedy" but also shamelessly using his family as a bargaining chip to blackmail this child

so, maruki asks, will ren accept this reality? I don't think ren says anything at all, just calls a persona and launches his most powerful attack at maruki, who's vanished before it can hit

and after they leave the palace the gang is like...we need to talk about this. ren says there's nothing to talk about, nothing has changed.

rest of the gang is like. I mean we're not telling you to accept his deal but something has changed. we should at least talk about the fact that he's threatening us more directly now, do we believe him that he had nothing to do with ren's father getting sick? (reluctantly yeah, that doesn't seem to fit within their understanding of maruki's powerset)

someone asks if maruki could even use actualization to cure a disease. (theoretically yeah, if ren's father wants to see himself as healthy than maruki could grant that wish.)

ren says again that it doesn't matter. how would they ever be able to know for sure that maruki actualized that by actually removing the physical disease - he could just make it that nobody noticed the symptoms anymore. and if he dies, maruki can just spring up another one

ren says he's not going to let maruki get away with turning real people in his life into puppets created to please him (the idea of being a puppet who only exists to please other people hits v close to home for this boy). he appreciates what the PTs are trying to do but he could never accept that and it makes him furious that maruki would even try

and akechi is just sitting there like i feel nothing about any of these statements. nobody look at anything my face is doing against my will

there's a lot I'd need to figure out to actually write this (whose pov is it even in for instance) and I want to tackle some more WIPs first. but I am just rotating it in my mind. partly just as another venue for exploring like...let ren get mad at maruki. let him have a feeling. maruki used him and I don't think we ever really get to dig into that

I have another WIP trying to explore similar concepts but it involves writing a lot of akechi and I'm weirdly nervous about it lol. he's so many people's primary blorbo you know. not sure I'll do it justice. tbh the more I think about the above idea the more I like it in akechi pov, which would be a big challenge for me but an interesting one maybe. hmmm

[finelinevogue]

h and y/n are like cuddled on the sofa having deep convos and they’re like massaging eachother?? super duper fluffy please!!🌷🍰

okay for some reason this is both sad and fluffy, and idk how we got here

warnings: touches on sensitive topics in the current news

May 24th 2022

The BBC News was playing in the background and the clock struck 10 PM.

You and Harry were snuggled down deep on the couch, Harry spooning you from behind. One of his arms was helping keep his head up to peer over your body, whilst his other draped casually around your waist. You were both facing the TV, but neither of you were actually watching it.

Brixton ONO had finished a couple of hours before and you couldn’t be more proud of him and what he’s achieved. The rest of the band had gone out in London to celebrate, along with crew and some members of management, but Harry decided to come home with you instead.

He would always come home to you.

“The news is so sad at the moment.” You pointed out after watching the headlines.

“It’s because the world is so fucked up at the moment. It’s just, we don’t see it daily because we live on our little familiar bubble.”

“I just struggle to live every day freely when those people are suffering in Ukraine and there’s school shootings to innocent children. Then the cost of living crisis in the UK. It’s all just so fucked, H, and it makes me terrified to bring this one into the world.” You took his hand and rubbed it over your still flat belly.

You were only a few weeks into your pregnancy so there’d be no bump for a while. Harry couldn’t wait for it to start showing though. So much so he would make you wear the tightest top he could find and judge whether there was any difference in bump from the day before. You kept reminding him that it was just your extra belly pouch. He loved on it all the same though.

“I would hope that our love for this little one would be enough to keep them safe and healthy.” Harry answered, calming you down by kissing along your neck.

“You’re going to be such a good dad, H.”

“Yeah? And you’ll be an even better mum. In fact, y’already are. Keeping them all safe and warm.” Harry squeezed your belly a little tighter, as is he were giving the baby a hug.

“H, it’s a literally just a blob right now.” You laughed.

“A blob that I love.” He laughed back, kissing your cheek because he couldn’t quite reach your lips.

“Okay, off topic, but that reminds me. Have you seen all that shit with the abortion laws in America?” You felt Harry’s arm tighten around your stomach.

“Yeah. It makes me feel so sick that men in high powers think they can just take away womens rights, as if they’ve ever owned a uterus before.” Harry shook his head.

“And if we’re raped it still doesn’t constitute an excuse for an abortion? I mean what kind of sick and medieval law is that?” You exclaimed, feeling yourself get riled up over this issue.

You turned so you were now laying on your back instead of your front and turned your head to face Harry, who was looking at you with awe. His hand stayed placed on your stomach and your hands went and sat on-top of his.

“I know, baby. It’s fucked, I’m sorry.”

“Harry, it’s not you who should be apologising. I mean of course I, we, have a voice in this, but we shouldn’t be louder than the people who actually have been through these situations. Their stories need to be heard and they are the ones that deserve apologies.”

“You’re right. Do you know anything that we can do?” Harry asked, always wanting to be the first one to join the rally.

“Spread awareness on the media. Sign petitions and call up local offices. Voices need to be heard, so make everything as public as possible.” You explained and Harry nodded his head in agreement.

“I could donate to some women’s rights visitors too.”

“We both can.” You raised your hand to cup his cheek, because you wanted to remind him that it were a team and you’d face all of this together. “Sorry, by the way.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed and he slid his hand underneath your t-shirt so he could softly rub the skin there. “What for?”

“For you having to lay here and listen to me rant about sad issues, when you could be out with your friends celebrating your success.”

Harry chuckled, leaning down to kiss your lips softly. It had been ten minutes too long since you’d last tasted his lips and you couldn’t help but moan at how good he still tasted. He was so perfect and his plump lips fit perfectly between yours.

“You could never be sorry for that, baby, because I would rather be here, with you, than out there, with them. I celebrate my success by spending time with you and getting to be happy. Seeing that smile on your face is success enough.” He kissed your lips again and you let it last a little longer this time.

“You’re the best, ever.” You smiled up at him.

“And I thought that was you?”