#in my essay era again

[autisticlancemcclain]

okay so you just put this in your most recent post so now i’m really curious, what are your thoughts on kuron? what specifically makes you say he’s a good iteration of shiro? /gen

oooou okay thank you for asking. i covered this a little bit in this essay here, but i'll sum up the most important bit from that essay (in relation to this topic):

"Lastly — and this turned out to be less relevant to the essay than I expected, but I do want to go over it a tad — is Shiro’s tie to humanity. I mentioned two important points: Shiro’s connection to mortality makes him the most intimate with his humanity out of all the characters, and he is undoubtedly the flattest character of them all. That is, if you don’t consider his clone to be part of his character.

But I’m begging you to reconsider. Reconsider, perhaps, who the clone is — Haggar had pure access to Shiro for a year, you remember. His thoughts, his dreams, his mannerisms, his priorities, his body. Even him at his most human, his most deranged, his most scared. She had Shiro then. She had Shiro when he had nothing to look forward to. She had Shiro when he hurt his crew to make sure they would live, at direct cost to himself.

She stripped him of his humanity — his connection to his own mortality. She took his illness from him. And who, then, did she return to the team? Who was clone? Shiro, mostly. The clone was happy to play with the team. The clone was clever. The clone believed, fully, that he was Shiro, only he was angrier and meaner, a little, and less capable of shoving down his own pain. Shiro, stripped of his tie to humanity and mortality, stripped of his compulsive need to be strained and stressed and the one everyone else can rely on, the Role rather than the Person, is emotional. He has flaws and outbursts. He can’t manage his own pain. He is is cruelest to the one person on the team — Lance — who canonically reminds him closest of himself.

Shiro, in the purest form that Haggar can make him, is flawed and self-hating. That is where our love for him comes. Not the man who pushes himself down at the same time as he sacrifices his personality to be someone for others, but the man who is struggling and can’t keep it locked down. That’s where it comes from."

so! what does this mean.

shiro, as a character, does not get to choose and form his own identity. first he is the Garrison Poster Boy -- and while he is a pilot, an explorer, and happy to do both of those things, he is uncomfortable with (largely lance's) hero worship. he both a) doesn't believe he deserves it, and b) is not happy in that role. we see it in the "blam blam blam" scene -- he is trapped in the 'hero' role because he is trapped in a role of Perfection, and he is not perfect, and it grates on him. second he is the Champion -- and while he did force himself to be the Champion by injuring the Holts, it is a sacrifice. being a sacrifice is not the same as choosing a role. third, he is the Paladin of the Black Lion (not the Black Paladin, for deeper analysis on my thoughts there please read this essay and maybe this one too honestly) -- he tries to escape that role from the very beginning. i know i keep pushing yall towards the essay but i genuinely do discuss shiro's role in it, but i'll reiterate:

"...from the very beginning, he set up a replacement for himself.

Doesn’t that strike anyone else as odd? I haven’t seen the show in five years, and I don’t plan on rewatching, but I do remember that every moment with Shiro almost had this underlying tension. The closest thing I have to canon off the top of my head is the Handbook (which I had to stop reading because they did everyone SO dirty there, even though some of it was honestly pretty funny), which was released in S2, and even that incredibly early canon talked about Keith replacing Shiro!

From the very beginning, Shiro was planning an out to his role. He knew it was not meant for him. He did the role well, but it was not his to do."

shiro does not want that fucking role. every single second we see him on screen, as Shiro Original, he is shouldering a burden. he is being someone he does not want to be. not to give voltron any credit, but don't you think it's interesting that he, as a character, comes out to the audience as queer when he is...free from those roles? when he is no longer the Garrison Poster Boy (i.e. lance stops the hero worship), no longer the Champion (haggar is defeated), no longer the Paladin of the Black Lion (keith is now the Black Paladin)...we see him come out. we see him, as it is often called, "be true to himself". to me, this signals that he is finally free from playing someone he is not, and interestingly, this came after kuron -- after he maybe got to be something he truly was.

aside from the more abstract analysis, shiro is deeply, deeply traumatized! it is inane to expect him to be the same person he was. why on earth would he have the same patience during/post war as pre-war? he knows now that hesitance gets people killed. if he had hesitated to hurt matt, matt would have died. if he hesitates out on the field, people die. patience yields focus, sure, but he hasn't had time for patience in god knows how long. any patience he has is, if it has not already torn, wearing thin. lance's lightheardness, although important, is bound to make him snap, especially because shiro used to be the lighthearted one -- if he was still the lighthearted one, people would die. on his conscious. his snappiness at lance, while inappropriate and damaging, makes total sense. it comes from a place of a) deep self-hatred/mistrust and b) trauma.

to quote myself again -- "shiro, in the purest form haggar can make him, is flawed and self-hating". take away shiro's roles, take away his masks, take away any of his responsibilities that have shaped his life for him -- who is he? would he be angry (like kuron)? would he be hurting (like kuron)? would he be vulnerable (like kuron)? would he, for the first time, reach out and ask for help (like kuron)?

i think he would.

[franklyimissparis]

mr schwartz is one of the gayest songs alex has ever written, there i said it. and all right yes any song that has references to putting on a persona/leading a double life/hiding in any way WILL inevitably come through as queer to my gay arse regardless of the actual intention behind them. and yes we’ll never really know where alex’s head was at when he wrote the song or what it was about.

but. i just find it interesting that the song with the most explicitly romantic - as in, cannot be interpreted as platonic - lyrics on the car album (‘might be half a love song in it all for you…. kiss me now before it gets too cute’) is also the song that includes such heavy-handed references to pretending to be someone else, specifically in order to avoid letting others (‘the crew’) down. much to think about.

[enbysiriusblack]

"I'm in love with you."

James quickly shut his eyes at his friend's confession, before Peter could turn back around, and let out a small fake snore. Peter sighed, clammering off James' bed and holding onto the pole as he stared down at his friend.

Peter grit his teeth a second before whispering into the darkness, "I know you don't feel the same. But you could just tell me that instead of pretending to sleep. I can take it, y'know. Just say it to my face. Just once."

James stayed still.

And Peter gave up, heading for his own bed.

He'd never know why people called him the coward of the group. Peter knew James had so much bravery inside of him, but he ignored it, just as he ignored Peter. That was cowardice.

[rotatedaxis]

such love for "you're begging for tissues, all you get is confetti" like, you're in need of something so simple but you're given this ineffectual thing that can't actually help you at all. it just reads as your needs are forgotten or minimised to their smallest possible point and if that isn't being treated seriously then it's mocked or can be dealt with by something small. in line with the song, your nose is bleeding and the best thing for this is tissues, but all you have is confetti, just this little thing that really isn't going to help whatsoever but it's all the help you're gonna get. And the way this comes just after "but [your friends are] all bloodsucking vampires", just adds bc it's like, well they're getting something out of your struggles but you, it's safe to say, are not having a good time. it gives this impression of people taking joy in your suffering but acting as though they aren't or are doing the absolute barest minimum in giving something that might help but, in reality, doesn't, if anything makes it worse, emotionally-speaking.

and maybe it's just me, but the whole thing feels very defeated. like whoever the character of the song is, has just been putting up with all sorts of crap for however long and is just exhausted by it all, but cover it all up "wave hello 'cause nothing's wrong" and take their "heart off of their sleeve" and just act carefree and like everything's okay when nothing is, just bury it all, they don't "get tragic" anymore (perhaps suggesting that they, along with taking their heart off their sleeve, they don't show any of their emotions anymore)

. again, maybe it's me, but "i'm gonna die before you, it's the first race that i'll win" doesn't inspire a particularly hopeful ending and maybe that ties in with being carefree and "hectic", suddenly - people who know it'll be over soon tend feel okay about it, without getting too deep into it right here right now.

maybe, the whole lot reads as a bullying narrative. talking about giving the kids "something to shout back / as the books fall out of my rucksack" and not being "everything to everyone", by trying to please everyone you please no one, so that type of people-pleasing behaviour never worked out for our character, and just resulted in, at least, teasing. "I don't take my phone off silent anymore" could suggest, if you follow this theme, that they don't want to see what people are sending them or saying to them, so you could call them but they probably won't see it or notice. And then, of course, "while your friends sing happy birthday / but they're all bloodsucking vampires" suggests fake friends and people who turn their backs when you're in need, when you'd give them your time and energy and care - they act like they care, shallow things like singing happy birthday, but won't actually help when it's needed, like our character's nosebleed for which they 'beg' for tissue, but all they get is confetti. (and the word beg suggests that they're really trying to get what they need, but to no avail, so they just have to make do with what they can get their hands on)

anyway. I don't know how much or how little sense any of this makes. all I know is all you get is confetti is an excellent song that has me in a chokehold (despite only being out for not even 5 hours at this point) and it deserves to be heard and read into and loved.

[mmaebee]

I used to wonder where I could go

To sit and watch the moon come out

It’s never like I dreamed it though

It had to be just a matter of time

Before you came and found me there

But silently all through the air

Came Out of a Lady - Rubblebucket

a comic about c!tubbo and snowchester

[roxyandelsewhere]

"I'm not a damn thing but this time that lasts between running from finding myself and finding myself while running." (x)

SPN moments but abstract [17/?] - The ouroboros of Carver era Dean, aka "what if Dean's present had been presented as connected to his past"

inprnt.| society6 | ko-fi

[popcornsalty]

Okay important and genuine message from me. I'm not much or often a poster on timblr but if I can give a sincere message. It's to have varied interests. Be into multiple things at once. It doesn't have to be the same intensity for all of them or level of interest or whatever. Hell not all of it has to be good. Just have multiple things to look forward to and care about

[magentagalaxies]

nothing makes me feel like i've lived a thousand lifetimes more than seeing "the buddy cole documentary" and "other girls" and "antisocial media" on the same list. like what do you mean i'm only 21 i should be at least eighty

[jus-alilcomforblelad]

pacing about that one doctor who video essay that frames 12's first episode as an autistic allegory. feeling so normal about this

[gerudospiriit]

" .............Zant was right. "

[sixftmp3]

i need everyone to know that as soon as all this fucking moving stress is over, its GAME TIME on my what love? video analysis

[hillerskaroyals]

if someone could finish my wip for me that would be great bc i wanna read the finished product but i don’t wanna write the finished product

[pirateboy]

Emo lil Wayne is something that can be so important actually <3

[wingstobetorn]

"I miss Hunter's villain era-- ” HE WAS NEVER A VILLAIN

[cmhcny]

Rhaenyra could've kept the crown if Daemon was by her side!! Period!!

[likealittleheartbeat]

Here's the conclusion to the longest atla meta I ever wrote (about platonic love in the show) for all the old and new fans coming into the fandom (def spoilers):

"Ideally, within the morality of the series (at least as it appears to us with no regard for whatever limits or self-censorship occurred due to its era of production and child-friendly requirements), “friends'' are maintained alongside romantic partnerships. Both Zuko and Aang’s separate romantic relationships blossom within the same episode that they declare their “friendship.” In fact, a vital plotline is the development of Zuko’s relationship with Aang’s romantic interest. While anyone in the fandom is well aware of the popular interpretation of romantic affection between Zuko and Katara because of their shared narrative, I have to point out that romantic feelings across the series are made extremely explicit through statements, blushes, and kisses. Zuko’s relationship with Katara can be better understood in the light of the coming-of-age counternarrative: While the love interest often serves as a catalyst for separation for a homosocial relationship, the friendly relationship with Aang’s love interest—seeking her forgiveness, respecting her power, calling on her support, etc—is vital for Zuko to ultimately create an environment of peace in which he and Aang can fulfill their destined “friendship.”

We can look at Katara’s femininity as the most important device for manifesting Aang and Zuko’s eventual union (and therefore the restoration of balance to the world). It’s her rage against misogyny that frees Aang from his iceberg, midwifing him into the world again after his arrested development, the complete opposite of a Wendy figure. It’s her arms that hold Aang in the pieta after his death in the Crossroads of Destiny, positioning her as a divine God-bearer. Afterwards, its her hands that resurrect Aang so that they together can fulfill his destiny. It will be these same hands with this same holy water that resurrect Zuko in the finale. Only through Katara’s decided blessing could Aang and Zuko proceed toward the fated reunion of their souls.

The importance of this critical relationship to femininity becomes relevant to a scene in “Emerald Island Players” that one might note as an outstanding moment of gay panic. Zuko and Aang, watching their counterparts on stage, cringe and shrink when, upon being saved by The Blue Spirit character in the play, Aang’s performer declares “My hero!” Instead of the assumption of homophobia, I wonder whether we might read Aang and Zuko’s responses as discomfort with the misogynistic heterosexual dynamics the declaration represents. Across the board, Avatar subverted the damsel in distress trope. There’s a-whole-nother essay to be written on all the ways it goes about this work, but the events in “The Blue Spirit” certainly speak to this subversion. It’s quite explicit that Zuko, after breaking Aang’s chains, is equally dependent on Aang for their escape. And, by the end of the actual episode, the savior role is reversed as Aang drags an unconscious Zuko away from certain death. To depict these events within the simplistic “damsel in distress” scenario, as The Ember Island Players do, positions Aang as a subordinately feminized colonial subject, denies him his agency, and depicts the relationship as something merely romantic, devoid of the equalizing platonic force that actually empowers them. The moment in the play is uncomfortable for Aang and Zuko because it makes Zuko the hero and Aang the helpless object. Aang is explicit about his embarrassment over his feminized and infantilized depiction in the play. And Zuko, newly reformed, is embarrassed to see, on one hand, his villainy throughout the play and, on the other hand, see how his character is positioned as as a savior to the person who has actually saved him.

At the heart of the series is not the idea of a chosen one or savior. Instead, we are saved by the ability for one person to see themselves in another person and to feel that same person equally understands their own soul. This is the ideal of platonic love. Platonic love between two matured boys—two boys within whose memories and bodies bare the scars of their queer sensitivities—is an essential part of the future of peace.

Many fans have a sense of this, labeling the relationship as “brotp” and “platonic soulmates.” I simply encourage people to acknowledge that platonic love, especially in this context, is not a limit. There is no “no homo” joke here. When we remark on the platonic love between Zuko and Aang (and across media more generally) we are precisely making room for friendship, romance, and whatever else it could mean, whatever else it might become.

While I find Legend of Korra lacking and in some ways detrimental to appreciating the original series, it’s finale interestingly parallels and extends this reading of platonic love in a sapphic vein. And most recently, She-ra Princess of Power was able to even more explicitly realize these dynamics in the relationship between Adora and Catra. Let’s simply acknowledge that Aang and Zuko’s relationship blazed the trail: that peace, happiness, hope, and freedom could all hinge on a “friendship,” because a “friend” was never supposed to be set apart from or less than other kinds of relationships. For the ways it disregards gender, disregards individualism, disregards dominion--platonic love is the foundation of any meaningful relationship. And a meaningful relationship is the foundation for a more peaceful world."