#in romantic situations with that person??????? What are you expecting to happen???

[fallenrocket]

I feel a little apprehensive putting this into words. I guess I'll just start by saying that this is 100% IMHO. I know a lot of people are celebrating "Rogue" and really love the Doctor/Rogue dynamic--I'm not contradicting them or trying to downplay the significance of seeing the Doctor in a same-sex romance, especially after the show seemed to hold back with the Doctor and Yaz. I get that this episode is a big ol' "happy Pride to us!" moment for a lot of fans, and they have every right to feel that way. I just want to talk about why I, an aroace who views the Doctor as aspec, had a hard time fully embracing it.

From the moment I heard chatter that Fifteen was going to be drawn more to men than women, I was fine with it. As I've said before, one of the fun things about Doctor Who aspec headcanons is that each regeneration feels ace in different ways. Most of the new Who Doctors are some flavor of romantic, and plenty of them have been neutral or receptive to men flirting with them. It's all good. I just hoped that an m/m-leaning Doctor still felt ace to me, the way that m/f- and f/f-leaning Doctors have. I was hoping not to get, "The Doctor is gay now, and he's DTF!"

In my view, when the Doctor is drawn to someone, it's always primarily about who they are and what they do, not what they look like. The Doctor does use words like "beautiful," "gorgeous," and "sexy," but they're far more likely to use them in reference to a machine/creature/constellation than to a person. The Doctor forges deep soul connections in their romances while also giving just as much weight and respect to their platonic connections (love you forever, Fifteen and Ruby!) The Doctor's version of "flirting" is usually just being themselves, which people can't help falling in love with, and they're often slow to realize other people are flirting with them. Different Doctors have different reactions to kissing, but 1) they're often the one being kissed, not the other way around, and 2) they often find themselves surprised by kisses. When it comes to sexual references/propositions, their responses usually range from uncomfortable to confused to "does not register at all that there is something sexual here."

Nine when Jackie gives him the old "there's a strange man in my bedroom, anything could happen": ...No.

Ten when Lilith tries to seduce him: Now, that’s one form of magic that’s definitely not going to work on me.

Eleven when Craig says to give him a shout if he needs privacy with a girlfriend or boyfriend: Oh, I will! I’ll shout. Yes, something like, “I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!!”

Twelve when River points out that he has no idea whether or not she looks "amazing": Well, you, you’ve moved your hair about, haven’t you?

Thirteen when Yaz's mum asks if they're dating: ...I don’t think so. Are we?

Now, I get that the show doesn't owe me an aspec Doctor, but what it's given me so far has pretty much always fit into that headcanon nicely. I love that this show is led by a brilliant, imaginative, compassionate hero who has boundless love for their friends and doesn't really care about sex.

That's the energy I was hoping for with Fifteen, and "Rogue" doesn't really deliver it for me. I'm not saying that an aspec person can't respond to Rogue the way the Doctor does, but to me, it just feels off compared to how the Doctor usually is in romantic situations.

When Rogue invites him for a walk outside and the Doctor remarks, "Fast mover," before following him--would any other Doctor take that as a proposition?

Just generally leading with the physical--handsome strangers, commenting on how good Rogue looks in his jacket, "you're hot" on the psychic paper. Again, I've seen the Doctor fall for people based on their bravery, their kindness, their intelligence, their skill in a crisis, etc. They usually are hot, in the way that most people on TV are, but that's not why the Doctor likes them. And with Rogue, that seems to be the very first thing the Doctor notices about him. What qualities of his is the Doctor drawn to?

The Doctor taking more of a lead when it comes to overt flirtation--given that Rogue is kind of a brusque, prickly loner, he likely wasn't going to start it off, but it feels weird to me to see the Doctor take the reins on a romance that isn't some kind of pretense (a la Ten proposing to Queen Elizabeth because he's trying to prove she's really a Zygon.)

I'm not about to say this episode is blatantly sexualized or "think of the children!" or anything like that. And honestly, Fifteen's portrayal here isn't drastically far off from previous characterizations of the Doctor. But there are just lots of little things that, if I was writing it, I'd have nudged slightly to put the Doctor's reactions to Rogue more in line with how they reacted to Rose/Reinette/River/etc.

***

I'd open with the Doctor curious about Rogue as someone who clearly isn't from that time/place, drawn more to the mystery than anything else. When Rogue is dour in response, the Doctor teases him--he's at a party, he's in a playful mood, and he wants the guy to lighten up.

They go outside--maybe together, maybe separately--but they both come across the duchess's shoe, shortly followed by the duchess herself. Rogue makes a clever observation or asks an Excellent Question that piques the Doctor's interest, but then he's disappointed when Rogue pulls the gun on him. Something along the lines of, "Bounty hunter? Just when I thought I met someone interesting," or, "I thought you were clever! How can you find so much evidence and follow it to exactly the wrong conclusion?"

Still, the Doctor's annoyed, not worried. He's confident that he can either convince Rogue he's wrong or get away, so he keeps up the teasing. But when Rogue takes him back to his ship, the Doctor quickly picks up on the fact that it's made to be flown with two. He's becoming slightly more worried about his own predicament, but he also wonders what pain Rogue is trying to conceal, and the little surprising touches around the ship--the DnD dice, the music--are piquing his interest again.

The Doctor uses the scanner to prove he's not a Childur, and Rogue realizes he only wants to capture the right person. The Doctor starts to think maybe there's hope for this guy yet. They go to the TARDIS and have basically the same conversation: "Pure Imagination," the pitch to travel with the Doctor (with added emphasis on there being better possibilities out there than bounty hunting,) and the two of them opening up about continuing on after loss. It's in this scene that Rogue really starts to feel drawn to the Doctor. He considers a kiss, but the Doctor is distracted by reprogramming the triform and misses signals that are visible from space.

Back at the ball, the Doctor and Ruby reconnect and catch each other up. Somewhere in there, they have a brief side exchange about Rogue. Ruby makes a comment about his good looks, and the Doctor says something like, "Is he? Now I know he's a bounty hunter, but he wants to do the right thing here. And no one who listens to Kylie could be all bad!" He spitballs a few "scandalous" ideas before realizing that him and Rogue dancing would be the juiciest. Fewer pregnant pauses and smoldering looks here, maybe some awkwardness like, "We could--I mean, if you wanted to--just to draw her out, mind..."

It's during the dance that the Doctor really starts to twig that he might be catching feelings, even as he stays focused on the task at hand. And it's not until Rogue pulls the proposal move that it occurs to the Doctor that Rogue might possibly be catching feelings for him too.

Climax mostly plays out the same way. Again, less of a pregnant pause with the kiss. Lean into the Doctor's distress over Ruby--maybe Rogue says something like, "Shh, it's okay," before going in for the kiss. The Doctor's face registers surprise, then he kind of melts into it, then before he knows it, Rogue has swapped places with Ruby and is telling the Doctor to find him. And then he's gone.

And this has nothing to do with ace stuff, but I'd set the last scene between the Doctor and Ruby in the TARDIS, with Ruby walking in to find the Doctor aggravated that he's tried numerous options and can't lock onto a way to track Rogue. He tries to play it off--"It was always a longshot, endless dimensions out there. Where to next, huh?"--and Ruby shuts him up and encourages him to let himself feel this loss.

***

But I dunno. Equality doesn't equal equity. Maybe if the Doctor's romance with Rogue had a similarly light touch as some of their m/f connections, people would be arguing that it wasn't really a romance. That the Doctor "clearly" wasn't into Rogue like Rogue was into him, or that the show was pulling its punches with a "sanitized" m/m romance. I can't speak to that experience, and maybe my version wouldn't come off well for reasons I can't see.

And like I said, if you love the Doctor/Rogue, that's great. I'm glad that you got an episode like this during Pride, and I know I can't blame a show for not following my headcanon. I went into "Rogue" apprehensive but hoping I'd love it, and these are just my thoughts and reactions to the episode.

[tonya-the-chicken]

Commenters under Suhee0 webcomics make me so unreasonably angry... Cause, like, many characters are trash but when it's Mina (a girl) who struggles with self-esteem issues and alcoholism and screws up then it's "frustrating but sympathetic" and when it's Minu (a boy) who struggles with self-esteem issues and alcoholism and screw up then he is the most hated character

[cheesiedomino]

RentABoyfriend.com ꙳ ੭ * ‧

synopsis: you’re tired of being single so you to take an unusual route in helping with that— but what happens when you start catching real romantic feelings for your rental boyfriend?

genre: seo changbin x fem!reader | fake relationship/dating au wc: 5.1k tags/warnings: fluff, v minor angst, mild cursing, (kinda) nerdy changbin, use of pet names, mentions of alcohol usage, just overall very cute story dw <33

[this is part of my valentine’s series where i write a short story for each member surrounding themes of love, newfound romance, relationship hardships & more.]

“I have a date tomorrow guys.”

Everyone’s head instantly lifts up from their phones at this sudden announcement, collectively drawing their attention at you. You weren’t expecting all of them to gasp and swap such looks of genuine confusion. It’s starting to make you think maybe this situation was a lot more serious than you’ve bargained it out to be.

You couldn’t fathom it either honestly, the realization of you going out with someone probably won’t settle in until you’re physically on the date. Based on their initial responses though, you might regret everything you’re about to say, but it’s far too late to retract any of your statements now.

“No way.. with who??” Danielle is the first out of everyone to ask.

Taehyung chimes in as well, “Yeah, who’s the lucky person? They’ve gotta be something seriously special to be talking to you.”

Well, you suppose you could put it that way.

You already have a preconceived notion of what they’re going to think of this “idea”. Mentally preparing yourself to receive a flood of questions and critique from your close friends.

“Actually… I rented him. For the week.”

Now they’re all looking at you like you’ve officially lost it. The room got scarily quiet, no one wanted to be the first to speak. You should’ve anticipated on their reactions being like this, it isn’t everyday someone just openly admits to buying a partner online. Nowadays there’s a lucrative market for just about anything, when you stumbled upon an ad for this service called ‘RentABoyfriend.com’ you didn’t think much of it. You laughed the concept off at first, thinking how lonely people must be to buy someone else’s time.

But the ads kept popping up, they wouldn’t stop showing in almost every YouTube video you were watching— even one of your favorite YouTubers promoted them before! So one day you finally decided to check this website out, you wanted to see what the hype’s all about so you signed up just for shits and giggles. You weren’t expecting to actually be somewhat interested in trying this thing out, but after going through a couple different profiles and reading hundreds of positive reviews you were practically sold.

“You rented out a boyfriend..? Seriously ___? I mean, I’m not judging but you’re a gorgeous girl you can easily get a boyfriend without paying for someone’s companionship, I don’t see why you need to rent one.” Mark bluntly expressed his opinion, he was probably the most outspoken out of all of you guys.

Taehyung and Danielle both agreed in unison, it’s practically 3 against 1 at this point. You knew you should’ve waited to tell them but you weren’t anticipating on them being this judgmental about it. You were hoping for a little more support, as they’re all way more experienced than you in the dating scene and could lend some helpful advice about your first date, ever.

See, the thing is you’ve never tried dating before so you wouldn’t know the first thing about it or what to expect from your future partner. You’ve never had a boyfriend, let alone held hands or kissed someone of the opposite sex. Being in your twenties it’s kind of embarrassing to say you’ve never done those things, but you thought what better way to try it out than renting a full-on experience that can give you just that? Well minus the kissing part, but you can make it work.

You were skeptical of doing this whole ‘rent-a-boyfriend’ thing at first because you didn’t think there’d be anyone you’d find suitable enough. A big part of the reason that you’re still single is because you’re extremely picky, you want to date a guy who’s so perfect that he must’ve came straight out of an indie romance film. Your friends would tease you for having such unrealistic standards when it came to dating but you were the all-or-nothing type, you’ll be single with fifty cats before you settle for less. Renting a boyfriend is definitely an unconventional idea of easing into dating but you thought it might be worth a try anyway.

What’s the worse that could happen?

( 1 day earlier )

Hovering your cursor over the bold red text of the website, you read over the main rules before going on to select the person you want for your date.

‘The rules are simple:

You are allowed to see only ONE person at a time, if you want to switch boyfriends you’ll have to pay a $50 fee.

MUST be over 18 to rent a boyfriend, we have implemented an age verification system before the date as we do not tolerate anyone under this age to use our services.

NO kissing, or sexual intimacy allowed. If this is found out later on by our agency we will terminate your contract and ban you from using our services in the future.

Remember to have fun !! ^_^ Our services are great for people who are new to dating or have never been in a relationship. We provide the ~ultimate~ boyfriend experience to all our clients. Customer satisfaction is 100% guaranteed ! (NO REFUNDS)’

Well jeez… they seemed a bit strict but you can deal with those rules and restrictions for the most part.

After hours of skimming through hundreds of profiles, you have a hard time choosing which you like most. Did you want an artsy, shy kind of guy? The tattooed, bad boy aesthetic type? You really couldn’t pick one until you stumble upon a particular profile that catches your eye almost immediately.

SEO CHANGBIN | 168 CM | PART-TIME LIFEGUARD | 24 | *POPULAR ↝

5 Facts About Me: I’ve traveled to over 50+ different countries and counting (ask me which my favorites are), I can speak 4 languages (working on my fifth), love to sing and used to have a rap trio with my buddies from college, I can & will easily lift you up ;) also have a secret talent for cooking, there’s nothing I can’t do!

Why Choose Me? First of all, why not choose me? I’m the best candidate for whatever kind of date you need, something casual, social gatherings, weddings, you name it! I’m very social and can make most people laugh (unless they’re the literal Grinch reincarnated), I’m able to get along well with anyone and just love to have a good time. I hope we can get to know each other and make great memories in the future :)

Going through his pictures you couldn’t believe someone was capable of being this humanely attractive. Don’t even get started on those impeccable muscles either… He really had to sport them in every other one of his photos, wearing the tightest shirts to show the outline of his insanely sculpted frame. You might have just been mesmerized from his godlike visuals alone. They even had a Valentine’s Day deluxe package that comes with seven dates in total for half the price, which they specified was for a limited time only.

$600 later you’ve got a full week of dates lined up with the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in all your years of living. You should’ve definitely went shopping before considering all this because now you actually have a reason to get dolled up for someone.

You were so nervous about going on this date you almost cancelled last minute out of fear. Typing out several different elaborate paragraphs to Changbin on why you couldn’t make it. You didn’t have his real phone number, it was all through an app facilitated by the rental company that was included in the package. Even though you were feeling overwhelmed and practically shaking with anxiety about meeting up with a guy, you still forced yourself to go anyway. You didn’t just dish out all that money just to not show up and waste his time on top of all that.

Your rental boyfriend texted you the location to meet at, it was near a train station so you both could see each other out in a public open space. The outfit you wore was fairly simple, a black mini skirt with warm tights underneath and a cropped turtleneck sweater. You accessorized the look with some dainty jewelry, a thin scarf, and knee high boots to pull everything together. It wasn’t something you usually wore but you had certain clothes you saved for a special occasion like this.

Upon your arrival, you notice him standing near a vending machine and waves over at you with the biggest smile plastered on his face. You awkwardly wave back, giving a soft smile as you slowly walk up to him. He looks even better in person, you don’t even feel adequate enough to be in such a gorgeous man’s presence. No wonder he’s so popular on the site, he’s practically unreal.

“Hi, you must be ___. It’s so nice to finally meet you, might I add you look really beautiful today, I think you’re making my heart race just by looking at you. Happy Valentine’s Day!” Changbin introduces himself, buttering you up with some sweet compliments before handing you the most insane bouquet of roses you’ve ever seen.

You take the flowers and almost stumble backwards from how heavy they were, “Wow, thank you!” Changbin prevents you from falling, quickly coming up behind you to get your balance back.

“Careful honey, can’t have you injured on our first date!” He voices with concern, “I hope you love the idea I came up with, I’ve only been to this place once before but I’m sure it’s still as fun as I remember it, let’s go!” Eagerly grabbing your hand to begin the journey, he turns around again to examine your body language.

“You seem a little tense babe? Do you need a massage?” He asks in a concerned tone again, this is all really beginning to freak you out. You know this is what you signed up for but this was all starting to feel a bit too personal, all the nicknames and sweet talk he’s giving is just something you aren’t used to.

“Uh, no! It’s o-okay.” You shook your head, denying anything suspicious going on. Truth be told you were barely able to contain your composure right now.

Changbin keeps on insisting, “The massage is included in the package so you don’t have to worry about getting charged extra.”

“N-no it’s okay, really. I’m just nervous that’s all, sorry I just don’t meet up with guys…” you shyly admit, finding it hard to look him in the eye.

He nods in understanding, “No need to be nervous with me sweetheart. I’m here to make you feel as comfortable as possible.” The smile he flashes at you instantly makes you warm on the inside, he seems like a genuine, caring person. You think things might go well for you after all.

The rest of the night was full of only good vibes and laughter by the end of it all. Changbin took you to an adult arcade that had old video games like Pac-Man, Super Mario, and Space Invaders, the other side was a bar where people could sit, drink, and socialize. He bought all your drinks that night, let you use up most of his tokens and overall had the most fun you could’ve ever had with someone. He was so easygoing but also knew when to act super caring and would be all lovey dovey with you. He was gentle, nurturing, and could have conversations about anything. You loved that he’d randomly drop some interesting fact you never knew about, or talked about a certain niche topic that he’d go on multiple rants over. It didn’t feel like you were renting someone out to date you, it felt natural— like you’ve known him for longer than a couple hours. Changbin walked you home and held your hand the entire time, along with the flowers he provided a teddy bear and a heart shaped box of chocolates. If that didn’t scream boyfriend goals then you don’t know what does.

The next day you wake up to Changbin blowing your phone up this morning. You had over 26 messages from him, which was pretty excessive in your humble opinion. The first thing he said was good morning then he goes on to express how fun yesterday was and he can’t wait to do it again. He even sent a couple mirror selfies of him at the gym, ‘conceited much?’ You thought. But then again, if you were Seo Changbin you’d probably be full of yourself too.

For today’s date you wore a pretty red sundress that made your skin glow in the sunlight. It’ll definitely get him to compliment you even more— which you secretly love when he does. Changbin calls you before he heads out to the date, letting you know how excited he is to see you again. You couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot on the train as you made your way to the destination, thinking about what he’s planned for you two next. This time you’ll be meeting up at a park but you still have no clue what you’re doing.

Changbin texts you where exactly he is in the park, it was pretty huge so it took you a while to get to him. As you get closer you see him sitting on a large blanket by the lake, on top of it were a bunch of different foods and snacks scattered all around that came out of a huge picnic basket. You were speed walking at this point trying to get to him. His arms opened out for a hug and you lean right into him, what you didn’t expect was for him to suddenly stand up and lift you in his arms to swing around you like a doll.

“Put me down I’m scared of heights!” You squeal out in fear of being too high up in the air. Maybe you really should’ve taken the bio on his profile more seriously when he mentioned certain things.

Finally putting you down after minutes go by of you protesting, Changbin sits you back onto the blanket. He brought an assortment of breads, cheese, fruits, lemonade that he made himself and a couple seltzers. You’ve never seen anyone put such time and effort into a date before, even being here with him is like living in a daydream. He was definitely succeeding in making you feel comfortable, which is something you never thought was possible with men. He actually took his time getting to know you and didn’t sound arrogant whenever he talked about himself, Changbin was so different than other guys who’ve tried hitting on you in the past. He was actually respectful, intelligent, and could easily carry a conversation without long, awkward pauses.

He was literally everything you’re looking for in a guy. But you’ll be seeing him for this week only then it’s bye bye forever. That revelation makes you a little upset, but you try pushing those thoughts in the back of your mind. It’s irrelevant and unnecessary to think about. Yet you can’t help but wonder about certain things though, wanting to know more about his job and what it’s like on a daily basis for him.

“Can I ask you something? I need you to answer it honestly.” You say out of nowhere, hoping that didn’t come out as weird as you thought.

Changbin nods, “of course, shoot.”

“How many clients do you usually get?”

This question definitely catches him off guard, he’s never really been asked this before and he’s debating on if he should as it might be a breach of privacy.

“I don’t think I can answer that, sorry.” He responds in the nicest way possible, but deep down he wants to know why you’d want to know how many other people he sees a day.

You were going to push him a bit more to try and get an answer but you decide to let it go and just enjoy the rest of the picnic. You didn’t want to bring the mood down with your odd questions and/or end up making him feel so uncomfortable that he won’t want to see you anymore. It was definitely something you shouldn’t have asked but you were curious to know anyway. Overall besides that small incident, you had another wonderful time with Changbin and couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come any faster.

Changbin had a foolproof way of getting you to blush like a giddy high school teen whenever he texted you. He’d always refer to you as ‘pretty girl’ or ‘princess’ which gave you insane amount of butterflies. You loved how clingy he could get and would double text when you don’t reply fast enough, always needing constant attention from you which you never minded giving.

He texted you at around three in the afternoon, proposing his next plan for today’s date.

‘Let’s go out for drinks tonight, it’s all on me ;)’

You liked his message, replying that you’ll be there and put a series of hearts at the end. Speaking of hearts, yours is fluttering at high altitudes from the way you can’t stop thinking about your “boyfriend” Changbin. This has been better than anything you could’ve expected, you never want this week to come to an end. It’s only been three days but you’ve begun to grow feelings for him, they weren’t too strong just yet but they were most definitely there. You couldn’t let that halt you from having a good time tonight, you’ll have to accept it soon enough he’s not your actual boyfriend. He’s doing this because you paid him to, if it wasn’t for your money he wouldn’t be here right now.

‘This relationship is purely transactional’ you unfortunately keep reminding yourself of the reality you’re in. Psyching yourself out of this sudden somber mood that’s consuming you, distracting your pessimism by raiding your closet for some cute clothes to wear tonight’s date. After what seemed like hours of tearing your entire room apart, you decide to settle on this sparkly black mini tube dress, pairing it with a leather jacket and more platform shoes because you’re obsessed with feeling tall. Once it’s 7 PM you head out to the bar you’re seeing Changbin at, he was already waiting for you inside the place. Eyes instantly lighting up when he sees you coming towards him, just like he always does he motions for a hug, pulling you in tightly like he hasn’t seen you in years.

His hugs felt so cozy, like sitting in front of the fireplace on a crisp, snowy winter’s evening. You never wanted to escape the warmth of his arms, it was one of those forms of physical touch that felt so overly personal to you. The thought of him hugging someone the same way he hugs you slightly enrages something in your spirit but again, it isn’t your place to get genuinely upset over him doing his job. You’re not entitled to him exclusively, but you feel like if you keep this up feelings will only continue to develop. This wasn’t something you considered when going into this and now you feel like you’ve just made a huge mistake.

“You okay babe?” Changbin notices you acting a bit strange, choosing not to pursue it after telling him you’re fine. He knows something’s wrong but doesn’t want to mess up the flow of the date, instead he orders a drink for the both of you and switches on to a lighter subject. “Let’s go shopping tomorrow at that new centre that just opened last week. I need to buy some new AirPods, I accidentally lost one of them in a taxi..”

“Sure,” you nod at his suggestion, in desperate need of some new clothes anyway. “Sorry about your AirPods, that sucks!”

He takes a sip of his bubbly drink that’s now on the table, “Eh, it’s okay this is probably the fourth time this has happened so far.” This has pretty much become a regular occurrence for him by now.

As the date progresses, things continue getting better. You’re both laughing, engaging in much deeper conversation than ever before. You definitely had more than enough alcohol in your system by now, feeling congested and claustrophobic as more people came into the bar. Changbin takes note of your discomfort and asks if you want to get some fresh air outside, you wasted absolutely no time to agree.

While you two were outside continuing your chat about some wild conspiracy he read about online, Changbin’s attention was soon drawn to a different building nearby. Gazing up in confusion at his sudden outburst of excitement, you wonder where he could be leading you next.

“Noraebang!” He shouts loud enough anyone miles away could’ve heard that, he’s now grabbing your hand to frantically drag you along with him.

You were never one to carry a tune but Changbin was actually very good at karaoke and singing in general, he had such a lovely voice. You could seriously listen to him sing all night— which you basically did since you kept begging for an encore until it hit 4 am. That’s when you both decided to finally call it a night, you wanted to pay for the Uber since he’s paid for all the drinks and every other expenses for today. You felt bad because you were the one renting him to be your boyfriend yet he’s constantly shelling out money left and right. He still insisted on paying and ultimately won the whole debacle, making you swallow your pride and get into the Uber with him. Changbin’s definitely not just someone you’re going to forget about after this week is over. You dread the day this all comes to an end, wishing there was a way to relive these moments again and again.

“I’m a little under the weather today, sorry I can’t make it Binnie.” Your voice is hoarse from coughing and unbearable throat pain. You’ve already consumed half a bag of cough drops, throat lozenges, and random cold medicine you’ve found in your cabinets.

He sounds mildly disappointed, but springs back up with a new proposal, “I can come over and bring some soup if you’d like!”

You appreciate his gesture but still refuse, you know he’s only saying all this because he has to, not because he wants to. “N-no you don’t have to, I’m sure you can go see other clients today. One less person to worry about right?”

The call went silent for a minute, he wasn’t quite sure how to respond to such a deprecating comment.

“I don’t want to see other clients, I want to see you ___.” He sighs, unwilling to give up so easily, “I’ll be at your place soon, m’kay?” He hangs up before you could even respond or say no again.

You had no choice but to wait for Changbin to show up now. Before you got sick, the last two dates you went on were debatably the best so far. You had gone out shopping together, accidentally wearing almost the same kind of outfit. Changbin was wearing a white graphic tee with blue baggy jeans and you wore something practically identical. The two of you looked like a real, official couple and people would stare as you walked hand in hand, it really did seem like the perfect relationship on the outside.

You got even closer when he came over the following day, resulting in you two cuddling while watching movies and baking cookies. He’s expressed that he’s never been to another client’s home before but it wasn’t “technically” against any rules. The more you kept hanging out together, the harder it was coming to terms with the fact you’re actually falling for Changbin. He made every experience with you more exciting than the last, which he did exactly that night. When the cookies were done you fed a piece to him, making little airplane sounds as you do it, he eagerly takes a bite of the chewy treat and compliments both your efforts.

“These taste way better than I thought, oh my god they literally melt in your mouth. Try it!” He takes another cookie from the tray and feeds it to you this time.

There was something so overly domestic about that moment you couldn’t shake the feelings of wanting to kiss him right then and there. But you can’t. If you did such a thing you’d never be allowed to see him again, plus you don’t want to be known as that one creepy client who just couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. As you were cuddling on the couch though, things may have taken a turn for the better… or worse?

Changbin would “yawn” at the movie and subtly wrap his arm around you, he’d subconsciously pull you in closer and it didn’t make it any better that you were under the same blanket. You weren’t complaining at any of this though, you were pretty much in heaven. It took everything in you not to look up and stare, gluing your eyes to the movie that was displayed on the TV. But as the night progressed you were practically snuggling up with him like he was your real boyfriend. The way he’d run his fingers gently down your back, soothing you in a way that could lull you asleep. His touch was the most relaxing thing ever, you were so calm with him and loved how he brought a side of you that’s never been shown. After this encounter you can no longer deny the way you feel— you are officially falling deeply in love your rental boyfriend, Seo Changbin.

The sound of your doorbell ringing alarms you of a new visitor, who was none other than your “boyfriend” waiting patiently outside the door for you. You feel and look like death itself, coming downstairs to answer the door still in your PJ’s and hair a disheveled mess. Every five seconds was interrupted with you coughing your lungs out, barely able to speak above a whisper. Changbin looks thrilled as ever to see you, even when you clearly don’t look your best he’s still coming up to hug you tightly. His hugs are always blocking off your airways from the way his muscles squeeze you, it’s even worse when you’re sick— practically gasping for air.

“Sorry babyy, I just missed you so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day and soon as you said you’re sick I dropped everything to go make you this soup. It’s a specialty I make whenever my friends are sick, the perfect remedy to cure my princess.” He goes into your kitchen to heat up the soup in your microwave, making you wait patiently on the couch as you’re wrapped up in multiple blankets.

Your body feels like it’s -2 degrees, you were freezing. The crazy thing is your thermostat was set to 80 degrees, it was definitely you that was the problem. He propped your feet up on the table, rested a tray in your lap and set the bowl of soup on top. Brushing a couple strands of hair out your face he looks at you intently, examining your symptoms as if he’s a doctor.

“It’ll be okay soon love, I’m here to nurse you back to health again. Can’t see my pretty baby sick like this, makes me all sad.” He pouts, giving you a soft head pat like you’re a delicate kitten.

He takes a spoonful of the hot soup, slightly blowing on it before telling you to open up so you can eat. You don’t know what’s gotten into you but you feel like he’s gone too far with all this. It’s not fair for you to continue on if it’s just become torture now. He’s practically dangling in your face that you’ll never have a partner as perfect as him in your life.

“I- I can’t do this anymore Changbin..” you say lowly, refusing to eat the soup he made.

“What do you mean? I’m just feeding you soup, it’s my duty as your boyfriend to-”

“This isn’t real… none of it is. I’m stupid for even doing this but I was lonely.. I’m sorry but I’d prefer something that isn’t temporary.” You cut him off to express your pent up frustrations, ready to be let down and rejected by him as gently as possible.

“Then let’s make it real,” he proposes without any hesitation, “honestly I stopped faking it around our third date, it was all me after that. I never said anything because well… this is my job and I’ve never fallen for a client before so this is still all very new to me..”

You’d be screaming right now if you weren’t sick, instead you’re internally freaking out at this confession, it feels like your hearts doing cartwheels and somersaults.

“Seriously?” Eyes widening as you look at him, suddenly your body heat rises and you know it’s not because of the soup or the layers of blankets that’s covering you.

He nods, “I thought it was kinda obvious when we kissed yesterday..”

Oh yeah… you forgot that did happen. You thought it was another fever dream you might’ve just made up in your head. You shared your first kiss with someone you deemed so special and important to you, someone you never would’ve guessed could come into your life and shift the entirety of your world like magic. There was no one else in existence you wanted more than Changbin.

“Doesn’t that mean you’ll have to quit your job? I don’t want to be the reason you stop making such good income.. I’ll feel so bad.” You knew deep down you didn’t feel that badly about him quitting to date you instead. It was just the thought of him leaving something he’s been doing for years behind all for some girl he’s known for simply a week.

He shrugs at your comment, “I’ll be just fine, I was planning on finding a new job soon anyway. It gets kinda old after a while, I felt like I was on autopilot most of the time. You were able to get me to open up and show my true self, I could never thank you enough for that ___.” Changbin couldn’t resist the urge to plant a kiss to your forehead.

After everything that’s been said and done. What you’ve come to understand is that love is learned, a development that takes time to grow and blossom into something extraordinary. Just like learning a new language or a musical instrument, we learn love from society and cultures we’re raised in, it’s a beautiful thing once we know how to cherish it. Your newfound romance with Changbin is something you’ll learn to cherish forever and ever.

[End <3].

[curryshesus]

bts fics that give me life in a drought

(aka my favorite fics of all time) pt. 2

didn't expect to make a part 2 so soon but seeing how much recognition the first one got, here we are! some of these contain a hearty amount of angst, and oh they're just simply divine :( once again, please make sure to show your love and support to these lovely authors if you enjoyed any of these reads as much as i did!

➺ knife’s edge - by @readyplayerhobi

| jungkook x reader, jimin x reader | 141.8k

mafia au, fluff, angst, smut, violence, series

>> summary: "the jeon clan is family, built on blood and loyalty. it’s been an unspoken fact that one day you will marry the heir to the clan, jeon jungkook. you would be a fool to deny that you love him, but what happens when you meet a blue haired man who offers you a chance at normality?"

this fic absolutely BROKE ME. i was so conflicted all throughout and deadass went through all the 50 stages of grief. the angst was unparalleled. the fluff had me giggling like a madman cuz jk is an absolute sweetheart :( jimin is too :(( y/n is dumb and so is her situation :((( i cherish this fic sm

➺ novocaine - by @kinktae

| jimin x reader |

1990s au, exes au, angst, eventual smut, series

>> summary: "going home was hard – painful even. but falling back in love with jimin, the boy you left behind? downright gut-wrenching."

➺ ghostin him- by @adonis-koo

| namjoon x reader (taehyung x reader) | 26k

angst, angst, as well as angst. comfort too dw, one-shot

>> summary: "life is nothing more than dull colors for you, your world shattered and laying in the shards of what once was rather than focusing on what is. that is until you meet kim namjoon, who is immediately taken by you without realizing you’re a girl with a whole lot of baggage, through tears and many sleepless nights you’re faced with a choice of hanging on with bleeding hands, or accepting what is, and letting go."

ohmygod the writing hello? the amount of soul, depth, and sheer utter beauty in missy's words are beyond me. had me sobbing every other line and my heart aching all throughout and boy was it worth it.

➺ take five - by @jiminrings

| yoongi x reader | 10k

angst, fluff, unrequited love, pinning

summary: "dr. min yoongi's a board-certified dermatologist; skilled, renowned, and in-demand - oh and also, he's divorced."

➺ page turner - by @gukslut

| taehyung x reader | 13.6k

teacher!tae/ librarian!reader, fluff, smut, minor angst

summary: "corny romance and a zillion cheesy Romeo and Juliet quotes and references."

my tainted hopeless romantic heart ugh. they're so cute.

➺ bloom- by @hobidreams

| namjoon x reader | 20.7k

assassin!reader x florist!namjoon, smut, angst, action, sprinkles of fluff

>> summary: "family is who you kill for. who you die for. in this society, you and your kin are shadows, clinging to the darkness to obey orders absolute. but when such orders command you to abandon what little honor remains for wealth and notoriety, you find yourself lost in lonely uncertainty about the only vocation you’ve ever known. that is, until you meet a man with gentle hands, a poet’s heart, and a love for coaxing the world into bloom."

➺ counterfeit culture - by @ggukcangetit

| seokjin x reader | 29k

modern day au loosely based on jane austen’s pride & prejudice, e2l, fluff, smut, comedy

>>summary: “for as long as you can remember, you’ve always known right from wrong, good from bad, and woke from entitled/ignorant. but when you continue to cross paths with Kim Seokjin - the apparent antithesis of everything you believe in - certain walls begin to crumble. and over time, you come to realise that the world isn’t black and white, first impressions can be misleading, and that you are just as guilty as each person you’ve judged so harshly. realisation brings acceptance, and maybe, just maybe, acceptance can bring something more.”

➺ if i told you - by @gukyi

| jungkook x reader | 22k

friends to lovers!au, college!au, fluff, comedy, angst

>> summary: "in order to pay for university, jeon jungkook decides to market his most valuable asset to the wealthy socialites of campus: himself. donning a suit and tie, tousled hair, and glasses (to look smarter), he becomes every rich daughter’s dream: the perfect boyfriend to bring to balls, dinners, and business gatherings. all while you watch from the sidelines, only able to dream of having that much money to buy yourself what you really want: him."

➺ to hold a dragon's heart - by @softlyjiminie

| taehyung x reader | 19.1k

dragon prince!kim taehyung x warrior princess!reader, smut, angst, fluff, forbidden romance, dragon shifter!au, royalty!au, enemies to lovers!au

>> summary: "two kingdoms, two hearts and the world between them. your whole life has been a challenge, never an easy moment on your road to becoming queen but will one decision, one encounter with the man you were destined to hate, change the fate of your worlds, forever?"

[sophiethewitch1]

What We Want - Chpt. 7 - Black N' White Knight

In Which A Romantic Breaks The Universe

(Yandere!batboys x f!reader) 18+ MDNI!

SUMMARY

Another lonely birthday, another empty year. You miss your family. You're late for your bills and rent, and even then, you got robbed last Tuesday.

Still, you buy yourself a cupcake, because you need it. I mean, hey. What's dessert for if not to get over cheating boyfriends and dead relatives?

As you blow out the candle, watching the clock switch from 11:59 pm to midnight of the next day, you make a wish.

And because the world doesn't like to make much sense, it comes true. Your life is suddenly flipped on a dime, and you're stuck trying to catch up with it. Fantasy becomes reality. You're a Wayne now, apparently. Or you used to be. You're loved, you're rich, you're talented and powerful.

Well, sort of. Careful what you wish for, right?

(TRIGGER WARNINGS AND MASTERLIST HERE)

PREV - NEXT

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Dick tells Tim, hand carting through his hair. The two of them are in the kitchen, at the breakfast bar. Tim sitting in front of his laptop with his legs crossed, and Dick tapping one foot agitatedly against the marble floor. While Tim might not be grinning ear to ear, it’s pretty obvious for anyone who knows him that he’s delighted by the tale Dick just regaled to him.

And what a tale it was. He hasn’t seen you in a year and a half, and then when he does, he finds you teary eyed staring at a picture of him shirtless at the gym. Bruce had always told him the way he played with the paparazzi would come to bite him in the ass one day, but he really can’t say he expected… that.

Obviously, it had to be a prank. That’s his first thought. That’s his only thought, really. What other explanation could there be? An accident? Maybe you’d forgotten what his room looked like. It wasn’t like he kept much personal stuff in his Wayne manor room, the only markers his clothes and the letters he kept in his drawer from his parents.

And you were wearing his clothes, of all things. He’d be surprised if you forgot how much of a Superman fanboy he was, seeing as he’d spent many hours ranting to you before the explosion. So, a prank. A show of good will, an olive branch maybe? It was more likely you were just fucking with his head, as you’d done in the past. Never like this, though.

This was just… bizarre.

“I can’t either,” and of course, Tim sounds near estatic saying that. The love of chaos ran true in that one.

Dick had managed to wrangle his life under control a few years back, and despite the universe seeming to try to unravel it at the seams, he was indisposed to let it simply happen. Even if you of all people had changed. No, Dick was getting older, and he was finding his taste for chaos a lot more… limited.

He didn’t want to suffer it’s affects. He was currently suffering it’s affects.

“I knew something was going on when she showed up to the party, but this…” Tim pauses, leaning back in his chair, “It’s gotta be a prank, right?”

It said a lot about their family that this was all the assumption they defaulted to.

“It could be something else. Did you even take her to the hospital after?” Dick offers instead, overthinking as always. This situation seemed to be made for overthinking, though.

Tim hums. “No, we did not.”

Then he turns his stare to Dick, like he’s expecting something from him.

“Seriously?”

“What? You’re the friendly one.”

Dick very much did his best to seem like the friendly one, at least. Tim was well aware it was a complete farce, though. Dick was nice but he could also be a bit… well… a bit of a dick. Another thing he’d been trying to overcome. He was doing better than when he’d been seven, at least.

Dick sighs, pressing his hand to his forehead, “I’d probably just end up accidentally nagging her, and then she’d never speak to me again.”

“That’s not my problem,” Tim shrugs, glancing back down at his laptop and squinting.

“It is, actually. Because if she stopped talking to me you’d probably be the next one till the girls and Duke came home who has to talk to her.”

“She could talk to Jay,” Tim offers, because he’s a shithead. Dick bets he did the same with Bruce, “And besides, I’m busy doing surveillance.”

“You mean stalking.”

“I do it to everybody, stop making such a big deal out of it.”

Dick sighs again.

“Hm, you might want to check your phone,” Tim says, in a way that suggests he has once again tapped the network. Keeping him out of Dick’s private life was like Sisyphus and his boulder. He still wasn't going to give up, and the time Tim and Steph mercilessly bullied him for getting dumped over text had made him all the more so.

‘Dont_try’: hey. can you come pick me up? thx

“Please, tell me you sent that and are just messing with me,” Dick begs, staring down at his phone in mild despair. Chaos. Always fucking chaos. Despite how hard he tried, he could not keep his family out of trouble. God damn it, when he’d gotten this job he’d been the one made for trouble. Where did he go wrong?

“Honestly, sounds like the sort of thing I’d do, but the girl just got bitch slapped so I really think you should respond fast.”

“What?!”

“She’s fine now, run to the bathrooms I think. You know for such an upstate place you’d think they had better camera positioning,” Tim mutters, complaining that he can’t watch every single little movement you make. Dick thinks he should probably worry about this, as it’s a clear sign of another decline for his sanity, but he’s now got this shit to deal with.

“Why, Tim? What is going on? Just tell me what’s going on.”

“Hm?” he’s engrossed by the computer, “Ah, the shitty boyfriend… some soup- ha, how is she such a clutz? Maybe we should get her head checked again- and… an altercation of some kind? I don’t know, I can’t see it properly.”

Dick leans forward in his stool, clasped hands covering his face for a moment.

“Are you going to reply? If you don’t soon, she’ll probably make it a bigger shitshow,” Tim says, nudging his foot against Dick’s. Dick, good big brother that he is, takes a deep breath and steadies himself. Even if this is really not what he wanted for his holiday, he’s dealt with much, much worse.

The press will have forgotten about this within the week. You, however, likely not. He’d promised to help you all those years ago, and even if he had no idea why you were reaching out to him, or if you would even be amicable when you met again, he’d still damn well do it.

He glances back down at his phone.

“What is going on?” Dick repeats to himself, and Tim’s head cocks to the side. There’s that familiar cat that got the cream grin spreading across his younger brother’s face, and it just really isn’t welcome right now.

“Intrigued yet?”

Unfortunately for both him, Tim and especially you, Dick already was.

He’s in his car in five minutes flat, finger tapping against the premium leather wheel. The sound of it is the only thing that manages to keep him sane.

Riding up to the place, Dick realises that no, maybe the press won’t be over this within the week. Considering the amount of paparazzi swarming the place, he doubted you’d be free for at least a few months. To be fair, the mysterious ex-wayne making such a scene was a bit of a big deal. Before you’d been basically invisible, despite your immense wealth and past.

Invisible? Dick thinks he spots at least twenty cameras. And that’s not even mentioning all the phones inside that would’ve gotten up close videos of whatever happened. Their legal team would handle it fine, that which Barbara or Tim couldn’t wipe from the face of the earth. And that was very little, all things considered.

Dick has to push past the calls of his name, ignoring all the intrusive questions volleyed his way like the pro he was. He still makes sure to listen carefully and store away every vital bit of information, as well as remember the logos on the film crew’s van. Eventually he makes his way to the front of the line, and the flustered front of house immediately recognises his face and sweeps him inside. Dick ducks in with a thankful smile, which he admits, falters when he enters the scene.

A scene which you are not in. Your gold digging boyfriend was, though. Of all the things Dick regrets with you, it’s not breaking the horrid relationship the two of you had apart. Or well, the fact that you totally, loudly hated his guts. He was a sensitive guy, y’know!

He sees your terribly boyfriend - George, Dick remembers - raging at some poor servers, and he knows he need to go sweep in and save the pour soul. It’ll be a hard fight, he can already tell.

Before he does so, he sends a quick text to his phone.

Underwear_guy: Where are you?

Don’t_try: I’ll be right out.

Shockingly, that was the truth. You come striding into the restaurant, and immediately all eyes are on you. It makes you stutter-step. Dick can see you visibly stiffen up, before you manage to gather your courage and keep walking. You don’t even pay him a single glance as you walk straight towards your fuming boyfriend.

You try to whisper, keeping your voice quiet and your conversation private. The boyfriend seems uninterested in the idea.

“What the fuck are you thinking?!” he cuts you off.

You glance around, and then say something else. It seems like you’re trying to defuse the situation, but George seems uninterested by the idea. 

“This behaviour is ridiculous. You need to get it together, we’re in public!” he yells, like he isn’t the one causing a scene. He seems to be trying to intimidate you back into silence. But today and well, yesterday too, something is different about you.

Okay, that’s enough of that. Dick’s intervening.

“You cheated on me! You deserve it and everything that’s coming to you!”

Or, uh, maybe you’ve got it covered.

-

George’s shocked face is almost worse than when you literally bit him. Guess he expected you to be a bit more demure after that encounter. He should know better, the other version of you seemed to have been even more spiteful in nature.

Today again, you prove you are a less than stellar person. You’d stopped caring about George as soon as you’d discovered he’d cheated, but you were still angry. Not jealous, but furious. Bubbling up your throat, rage and bile and the urge to attack him once again, even if you just want to go home.

Your teeth grind. Your jaw ticks. And oddly, you realise you have a real taste for George Lancaster’s limbs.

Though your life had changed (literally) in the past few days, you were still the same girl from your first twenty-first. You wanted George Lancaster to suffer. Even more so, now that the evil cunt had hit you right in the face. The hit had stunned you, though. More emotionally than physically, but it had shocked you.

You couldn’t say you were a coward. You’d spent far too many days in your teenage years indulging in self-destructive behaviours to think that. But something about this pathetic man was scaring the shit out of you. You think that made you more pathetic, but you couldn’t quite tell. That’d be victim blaming, right?

You did have a habit of blaming yourself. It was just usually your fault.

…Maybe you shouldn’t have bit him, no matter how much the response was instinctual or his screech was satisfying. This was all too confusing, all too much. You needed to get back to your apartment, lock the doors and barricade them so nobody bothers you. And then maybe hibernate for a week. You needed some time to process all the stupid bullshit you were experiencing. The wayne manor was too much, your horrible white apartment was too much, George fucking Lancaster was too fucking god damn much.

You take a deep breath, and manage to stop yourself from bolting like a deer. Deal with the problem at hand. Deal with it now, deal with it!

“I’m leaving, and we are done. It’s that simple,” you tell George, trying to drill in a message that he seems unable to comprehend. At this point you’d assume he’d be trying to apologise, manipulate back into his good graces, but you think you might’ve completely broke him. Broke the script.

Good. That was damn well good.

“Can we talk about this somewhere else at least?” George replies, eyes flicking to Richard Grayson’s angry gaze. At least you think he’s angry. You can’t quite gather the courage to look directly at him.

Also, there’s the manipulation! You wish you weren’t right this time.

“Sure, but I’m bringing him, and my answer will absolutely not change. You hit me.”

“You bit me!”

Well, yeah, not your best moment. You don’t think you can regret it, though.

“Then I think this relationship is ending on equal terms,” you reply, trying your best to just get him to quit it. It is obviously not working by the way his expression darkens.

“I’ll tell the press everything,” George threatens, which, well, is sort of a shitty threat because I don’t even know what he’s threatening. ‘Everything’? Couldn’t he be a bit more specific?

You shrug. It is the wrong response, you know it is, but you’ve completely ran dry of fucks to give. Couldn’t be much worse than the bullshit happening right now. The press were already very well fed, considering the situation that was today. George makes a small sound of fury.

“We’ll sue,” Richard Grayson, the white knight that you’d daydreamed about, comes to your rescue. Is it odd that it’s kind of flustering? You probably shouldn’t be flustered.

George immediately snaps his gaze to Grayson’s, giving the man a look with a healthy dose of fear. Couldn’t blame the guy. Even if he was the second smallest of the three remaining brothers, he was still well known for being strong. His family often did kick-boxing, and their sister, Cass, often whooped their asses. It was sort of satisfying to watch. Anyway, his physical prowess from fighting to weirdo gymnastic bullshit was evident in his svelte build.

George was many things, but he wasn’t an idiot. With just the one threat from the Waynes legal team, he skitters away like the little rat you know him to be. He leaves the restaurant, and he very obviously does not pay or even leave a tip. You suppose you have the cash to make up for it. Then, ignoring the paparazzi, you were technically home free. You glance to the side. Richard Grayson’s beautiful face looks a mix of confuddled, frustrated, and exhausted. He still saved you, though, even after the fool you made of yourself.

White knight, indeed. It almost feels a bit anticlimactic, but it’s the results you wanted. And yet, an ominous feeling befalls you. Somehow, you don’t feel you’ve seen the last of George Lancaster. You just really hope the old you hadn’t committed any crimes. A tabloid? Humiliating, but livable. Prison? Not so much.

Not that the rich stayed in prison in Gotham, or even the rest of the world. It was kind of strange to realise you were sort of above the law now.

You glance at Dick, pulling your uncomfortably wet shirt away from your chest. You’ve sort of been bled dry of any shits you could give at this point, so you decide, very maturely, to make jokes and ignore all your problems. It had gotten you this far.

You’d seen this behaviour before. Many, many times. It was what usually got you fired. But now you didn’t really have to worry about that, so why should you worry about causing a scene and ruining your life a bit more? It wasn’t yours, after all.

“What do you think?” you joke, elbowing Dick. He looks down from glaring at the entrance George just slipped out of, to you. His blue eyes are a damn near shock to the soul. It takes everything in you not to start fidgeting.

“Think of what?” he responds, and despite how hard you try, you can not read his expression.

“I’m trying to make some more news. Don’t think the reporters got enough the other day,” you say, gesturing to the giant stain. It’s still Dick’s shirt. You hadn’t realised till now, but the Beatles was now some sort of green soup. Is it kind of gross of you to acknowledge that at least the soup smelled good?

Probably. You didn’t actually get to eat anything here. It’s also probably a bit weird that you’re thinking about eating at a time like this. Probably.

“I think you’ve done enough, honestly,” he says, glancing at the camera flashes from outside.

He sounds exactly like your mother, it’s almost uncanny. Well, this version of him technically knew her. You’re still not sure how well en-meshed your two families had been before the disaster, but maybe he’d picked up some traits from her.

…That… you’re not sure how to feel about the idea. The old green monster bubbles up at the thought, and you can’t tell if you’re jealous your mum got to meet Dick Grayson, or that Dick Grayson might’ve gotten to know your mum.

“We should leave,” he says, cutting off your bitter inner thoughts, “I know you don’t like it when the magazines bother you.”

You don’t? You don’t. Yes, that makes sense, ‘you’ definitely wouldn’t have. And it’s not like you feel comfortable with them either. In fact, if you think about the fact your drowned rat appearance will be on every tabloid in the city by tomorrow, probably alongside photos from your birthday, you feel so nauseous you could collapse. Going to compartmentalise that one.

“Yes, going, let’s go,” you say, following Dick out of the restaurant.

Despite the fact that the security guards are trying their best, it’s getting quite rowdy out here. When Dick wraps an arm around your shoulder, shielding you with his body, you almost just pass out right there. His muscles… Your heart simply can’t take it. As it is, Dick notices you jump like a foot in the air, and backs off. He still makes sure to try and protect you from their vision as much as possible.

Still, in an act that is purely rebellious, you turn and give them a big smile and a wave. Even as you hate every single person on the other side of the divide, you want to make one thing very clear. You will not be cowed by someone like George fucking Lancaster. Your peace sign and wink are a message to them, to him, and to yourself.

Despite the fact that this new life is one you have no idea how to handle, you know one thing. Put on a face, and it’ll always be easier.

Dick is probably wondering what the hell happened to you for you to be acting this way. Your shirt has a giant stain on it, you just broke up with your cheating boyfriend, went through a traumatising experience just a few days ago, and you’ve got the biggest grin on your face. This behaviour speaks more and more of a full blown mental breakdown. And it’s not the first you’ve had or the last.

There’s paparazzi snapping thousands of photos of the two of you, and instead of shying away as ‘you’ used to, you throw up a peace sign. One of the papps drops their camera. That confuses you a bit, as your peace sign deflates slightly. Didn’t they want more pictures? Weren’t you supposed to pose…?

For all you stalked celebrities online, you realise you have no idea how to pretend to be one. This is going to become an issue, you can already tell.

He points at a car, and you assume it’s his because he starts making his way over. He’s obviously done this sort of thing before, using and guiding the security with a smooth confidence. Even still, the two of you are a bit too close for comfort.

Which you prove, by putting your foot directly in your mouth.

“I don’t have abs, but do you think the press would like my stomach like they like yours?” you say, and almost immediately regret it. Another poor joke. You are deflecting so hard. And why the hell did you bring that up, you dunce? You feel your brain cells draining the more you’re around this guy, it’s not healthy for you.

“Please don’t pull your shirt up in public,” Dick sounds like he’s about to have a mental breakdown. It’s spreading, like the plague. You’re patient zero, of course. Even still he gets you guys to the car, and opens the side door for you. You follow his wordless command and slip into the passenger seat.

“I won’t. Sorry, sorry,” you reply, to relieve him of some of the trauma you’re currently inflicting.

He glances back to the papps, and then back down at you. His smile bowls you over like he’s getting the last strike in a fucking 300. He genuinely is the most beautiful human being you’ve ever seen. Thankfully, he closes the door so you have a moment to gather your sanity before he goes around the car and gets in the driver’s seat.

You hope you’re subtle when you shift away from him slightly. It shouldn’t be that surprising really. You were stupid on average. You would be stupider around attractive people. You would be frankly disastrous around someone as blastingly hot as Dick Grayson. The Waynes in general turned you into a drooling idiot.

Good god, you need to get out of this car. As soon as you think that, Dick is pulling away from the parking spot and out onto the streets. He makes slow progress because Gotham traffic, but eventually you manage to flee the horrifying stares of the cameras. Already you can tell it’ll be giving you nightmares. Probably along with images of the guy who tried to rape you and Damian Wayne sneering at you.

“So, how are you feeling?”

Despite how you wish it not, Mr. Grayson decides he’s going to start a conversation with you.

“Good,” you reply, the answer instinctive and an obvious lie.

You can feel his gaze on the side of your face, but you don’t dare return it.

“That’s good to hear,” he says, and his voice is gentle. Sort of infantilising if you’ll be honest.

While it is very clear to anyone who looks at you that you have no idea what you’re doing, you’d rather he didn’t bring it up. You’ll figure it out. You’ve always managed to figure it out. This is what you get for asking for help. Really, despite your momentary panic you could’ve taken George. Probably not physically, but…

“You can talk to me if you want, you know?”

“Can you stop the car, please?” you respond, when that question immediately activates your fight or flight response. Dick must notice something about you, because he quickly shoots forward and into a momentarily available parking spot.

You scramble with the door, shoving your way back out onto the asphalt. The immediate distinct smell of Gotham, even Gotham’s richer districts, calms you down. Sewage, the ocean, and the ever present smoke and fog.

Fuck’s sake. You aren’t making yourself look anymore well put together.

Clearing your throat, you turn and find Richard Grayson coming around the car hood towards you. There’s a worried look in his eyes, and you really don’t know how to deal with it. It’s like you made a deal with the devil. By getting rid of George, you’d gotten a new problem - and an infinitely more complicated one.

Shit, you need to stop making rash decisions when you’re having panic attacks. You’d say you should probably try and stop having panic attacks entirely, but you don’t really know how to do that.

The sound of your name has you snapping back to attention. Dick looks even more worried.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asks, taking a few slow steps towards you. Again, infantilizing. Like you’re a wild animal about to run. Wait, weren’t you just comparing yourself to a chihuahua? Well, it’s not the same when other people do it.

“I’d like to take a walk,” you say, hand scrunching into your pyjama pants, “Alone, I’d like some time alone.”

“…In that?” He glances down at the stain that is slowly starting to dry. It’s making your skin itchy, but at least it’s not as cold.

“I can buy something,” you say, remembering one of the apps on your phone was connected to your bank account, which you had to assume was pretty full. It’s kind of stupid that you haven’t checked that yet.

You’re starting to feel a bit defensive towards your own intelligence. Maybe it’s because you seemingly keep making all the worst decisions.

Dick doesn’t make it any better.

“Do you have cash on you?” he asks, showing how little faith he has in your general abilities to survive as an adult in Gotham.

“I do, I’ll be fine,” you insist, because god damn it, you will be. You just need a fucking minute.

You ran from the Wayne manor because you felt like you were being watched, and then as soon as you showed up at the world’s most uncomfortable apartment, the haunting wraith known as George dragged you out in your P.J.s. You could figure it the fuck out, if these people would give you some fucking space.

Richard Grayson seems to realise that you’re getting upset, because he goes quiet for a moment. After staring at you for a moment longer, for which you manage to find the courage to maintain eye contact through pure stubborn will, he asks you one final question.

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride home or something?” he asks, still seeming so determined to help you.

His suggestion brings flashes of images of you breaking down in front of the Bruce Wayne to mind. From almost a birds eye view, you see yourself sobbing against your own ruined dress as the billionaire looked on. Bile literally jumps up your throat, and it takes a lot of willpower not to grimace at the suggestion.

“Look, Mr. Grayson, I really appreciate-”

“That’s the second time you’ve called me that.”

Once again, you feel the urge to simply sprint away from your own problems, but you manage to hold yourself still. Still, you can’t think of a solution. You can’t really think much of anything. Instead you stare at Richard Grayson with your hands threaded together and your lips pressed into a thin line.

Though you open your mouth to speak, you find you have no excuses ready or available. You’ve talked yourself into a corner already, and it’s your third day in this world. Marvellous. Maybe you should just tell the truth.

Still, the dangers outweigh the pros. They don’t know you, they don’t have any real reason to take care of you. If they believe you, they’ll toss you out onto the streets penniless. And if they don’t-

You blink. There’s a highway sign behind Dick, and it catches your attention like a lightning bolt. ‘Arkham Asylum 800 miles’. It’s white blocky letters on green panelling feels like a sign from god, warning you from the path you consider taking.

And then you realise that you might actually get sent to Arkham if you say anything, and you resolve to never tell a single soul about what has happened to you. You’ve heard enough stories about the asylum, and by god, you are not being roommates with the fucking Joker of all people.

Eventually Dick realises he’s not getting anything out of you and he sighs, shaking his head. His annoyingly perfect hair mesmerises you for a second, but you manage to wrangle your brain back under control. He really doesn’t make it easy.

“I just want to know if you’re safe. If you’re going through anything, you know we’re always happy to help-”

“Dick,” you say his name, face twisting in discomfort, “This was a… a one time thing. Usually I can handle my problems. It just… it caught me off guard. George cheating was a huge shock, and I needed someone to stand by me.”

“And you know I always will, right?”

Ah. That’s… Dick Grayson was a stranger. You didn’t know him, and more than that he did not know you. He did not know what you would do, could do. You didn’t think anyone did, not even yourself.

It’s a silly idea to expect your celebrity crush to save you, and it’s one you find you can’t stomach it at the moment. It makes you feel disgusted with yourself at the idea. It’s too indulgent, too silly. It’s very simply, not possible.

You’ve given up on relying on miracles. These lessons had been beaten into you, really. You didn’t want to have to learn them again.

Your feelings must show on your face.

Dick lets out a whoosh of air, frustration palpable. He carts his hand through his hair. It still looks perfect. The world is unfair, yadda yadda.

“You run hot and cold, you know?” he gives you a grin. It says a lot about his ability to act, seeing as it seems almost natural. Almost, being the key word.

Also, he is absolutely correct. The chihuahua effect is in full-swing. And you know what? You are probably going to continue to run hot and cold, because you’ve never made a decision in your life. He’ll just have to get used to it.

You raise your hands and shrug, in the universal ‘what-can-you-do?’ motion. He wasn’t wrong. You were being completely erratic. Not even you knew what you’d do next. At least life isn’t boring these days, right Right? You wonder who you are trying to fool, because it’s certainly not yourself.

“I’ll contact you if I need anything,” you lie, because it seems to be the right thing to end this torturous conversation, “And I’ll make sure to keep contact with Alfred. You can talk to Jeanine if you need anything, as well.”

Dick, unfortunately, calls you out on your bullshit.

“But not you, right?” he says, smile still printed on his face.

Woof. You think… you’ve hurt his feelings? Ah shit, you instantly feel like the scum of the earth. Still, you don’t know how you could fix this. Arkham is a genuine threat lingering over your shoulder, you don’t know enough about your new cut-throat billionaire world, and you can not lose any faith they have in you. Any that you have left, that is.

You’re sorry, but this is coming down to survival. And you are a greedy person, after all.

In the end, you don’t have anything to say, and Richard Grayson leaves without a word. Watching him walk towards his car, you feel… bad. Really bad. The part of you that is still crushing on this guy, a very large part of you, feels like you’ve ended the earth. The other part, the one that recognises that once again you’re going to have to fight for yourself… well, she thinks so too.

Maybe… maybe you could fix this. Apologise. Once you’ve gotten your bearings and know you’re safe and 100% financially stable, maybe you’ll figure it out. Give him his shirt back after you’ve dry-cleaned it.

For now, you give him your back as well.

MASTERLIST - NEXT

[hxxsxxng]

HEESEUNG 이희승 - STEPBROTHER

MINORS DNI

Word Count : 3.3k

Genre : SMUT

Content : step!sibling! (if you are uncomfy don’t read), begging, oral, nipple play, mentions of pandemic, unprotected sex, creampie. lmk if i missed anything!

Preview : After a pandemic took over the nation, how will you and your step brother cope with the house to yourselves.

Authors note : I hope you enjoy <3

SUPPORT BY REBLOGGING if you want

It was an unexpected situation being stuck at home with Heeseung during the pandemic lockdown. He was only a few years older than you, but at very different stages of life - you were still in college while he had already graduated and was just living at home to save money.

With both your parents working the afternoon shift at the hospital as essential workers, you two had the house to yourselves during the day. You figured Hee would spend most of that time holed up in his room, playing video games and chatting with his friends online like usual. And at first, that's exactly what happened. For weeks, he'd wake up late and then disappear into his room, the sounds of gameplay and his friends' voices filtering out from behind the closed door.

Meanwhile, you filled those lonely days by mindlessly scrolling on your phone or napping the hours away in your own room, emerging only to grab food. The house felt eerily quiet and empty even with Heeseung there. You were both just about existing under the same roof, going about your isolated pandemic existence in parallel lines.

Seung had always been the quiet, reserved type - never one to flaunt romantic relationships or bring many girls around. He kept things low-key, sticking to his close circle of friends whom he was intensely loyal to. Looking at him, you would assume he never had any luck with the ladies. But saying he NEVER brought a girl home would be a complete and utter lie.

Back when he was in university, every once in a blue moon, you'd hear some...noises coming from his bedroom late at night. At first, you tried to ignore it, but the sounds of rhythmic creaking and muffled gasps were unmistakable. Your face would burn realizing what was going on in the next room over.

Your bedroom happened to border his, the thin walls giving you unintentionally intimate knowledge of Heeseung’s occasional overnight guests. A soft feminine giggle would drift through, followed by his low rumbling tones, indistinct but clearly meant to be seductive. The telltale sounds of activity would start up again minutes later.

You'd lie awake, pulling your pillow tightly over your ears, trying desperately to block it all out. But it never worked - small creaks, breathy gasps, and rhythmic squeaks of the bedsprings would persistently filter through no matter what. On those nights, you couldn’t help but to slip your fingers into your panties, wondering what it would be like if it were you in the room with him instead. This would even happen on nights of complete silence. The thought of being fucked senselessly by your stepbrother was eating you alive.

But the next morning was always awkward. You'd have to look Heeseung in the eye over breakfast, knowing you'd been an unwitting aural witness to his private activities. He'd act like nothing happened, utterly shameless, while you averted your eyes burning with silent humiliation.

Those rare evenings served as reminders that Hee did indeed have a sexual side, despite his outward personas a quiet, studious homebody.

You were surprised but pleased when Hee first started initiating hangouts and inviting you into his personal space. At first, it seemed innocent enough - watching movies together in his room, playing co-op video games side-by-side, or even just sitting in comfortable silence as you both worked or read. A welcomed change from the isolation you'd both been existing in.

But as the weeks rolled on, those hangout sessions started awakening feelings in you that you never expected to have towards your stepbrother. With so much time spent together in close quarters, you began noticing things about him that you'd previously overlooked - the way his shirts hugged his toned arms, how his brow crinkled adorably when he was concentrating, the rich warmth of his laugh.

You found yourself stealing sidelong glances at him as he gamed, admiring the sharp line of his jaw and how effortlessly cool he looked with that headset on. Or zoning out while bingeing shows, becoming hyper-aware of him next to you on the bed, close enough that you could smell his subtle cologne and body wash.

At first you brushed off those wayward thoughts and traitorous flutters in your belly. This was just your loneliness and proximity talking after being cooped up together for so long. But you couldn't deny the way your skin grew warm whenever Heeseung’s hand brushed yours reaching for the popcorn. Or how your breath caught when he absently stretched and his shirt rode up, exposing a tantalizing glimpse of toned abdomen.

What started as harmless hangouts quickly began skirting a dangerous line once you registered the undeniable physical attraction simmering between you two. You noticed him sneaking appreciative looks at you as well sometimes. The shifting energy was palpable, brewing tension that went beyond just bonding as stepson and stepdaughter.

Those hangouts that once brought you connective comfort took on a new, charged meaning. You tried to bury the symbolic meaning behind Seung inviting you alone into his private bedroom sanctuary. But it became impossible to ignore when he started finding excuses to "accidentally" graze you with his knee or arm, sending tingles through you at every simple point of contact.

It became a delirious game of brutal restraint and forced obliviousness whenever you were alone with him. You overanalyzed every smile, laugh, and lingering touch, uncertain whether you were reading too much into the gestures or if he felt the same smoldering tension. The captive, heavy atmosphere only grew more stifling with each encounter until you knew something had to finally burn through and break.

————-

The bedroom door clicks shut behind you and instantly that familiar electric tension crackles in the air. Your heart pounds as you turn to face Heeseung lounging on his bed, controller in hand as he's immersed in another video game.

"Hey, wanna join?" he asks casually, patting the space beside him. Such an innocent invitation loaded with so much more weight these days.

You nod, trying to keep your cool as you settle onto the bed, your sides brushing. The warmth of his body so close to yours is utterly disarming. His intoxicating cologne and body wash surrounds you in an arousing haze. You try to focus on the game but are hyperaware of every subtle movement, every shifted position that puts your bodies even closer.

Jungwon curses as his character dies and you chance a sidelong glance at him. The way the words slip from his mouth is so insanely sexy. The tendons in his forearms flex entrancingly as he grips the controller. Your gaze tracks up to the sharp line of his jaw, admiring his beautiful tanned skin. You tear your eyes away before he catches you staring, but not before drinking in the broad expanse of his shoulders straining against his t-shirt.

As the gameplay continues on, you can't resist sneaking admiring looks at the man beside you. The man who has been awakening such unbidden feelings and cravings in you for weeks now. The chemistry between you both has built to a fever pitch you can no longer ignore or rationalize away.

Your entire body is hyper-tuned to him, tingling at every casual point of contact - his knee brushing your thigh, the tickle of his arm hair grazing your skin as he shifts positions. You imagine how electrifying it would feel to have those muscled limbs wrapped around you instead of just these maddening, transient touches.

Hee lets out a dramatic groan of frustration at another death, running a hand through his soft brown hair. You watch hungrily as his shirt rides up to expose a tantalizing strip of toned abdomen. Does he have any idea the effect he has on you with these simple, unaware gestures? The aching need he stokes in you just by existing so close?

As if he can sense your yearning gaze, Heeseung turns his head to meet your eyes. You feel pinned under the heated intensity of his stare, rendered breathless as he deliberately lets his eyes drag over every inch of you. The atmosphere thickens further with the sudden acknowledgment that you both feel this irresistible magnetic pull.

In that searing, loaded look, you see reflected the inner turmoil you've been grappling with - the tangled guilt over these unbrotherly urges warring with the feverish desire that leaves you undone at his smallest glance. The unspoken question of what might happen if one of you finally has the courage to act on those simmering tensions that charge every breath between you.

You can't take this torture any longer. Your mouth is dry, body humming with arousal and need as you open your mouth to finally break the silence. But Heeseung cuts you off by closing the scant distance between you in one decisive movement, capturing your lips in a searing, hungry kiss you've been starving for.

————-

He pulls your head down into a more passionate kiss. You could tell that he has been wanting this. These kisses started turning into rougher, sloppier ones. Your tongues were exploring each other's mouths. He is naturally such a great kisser. He knew what to do and when to do it. He even bit your lip a few times, which was extremely hot.

He sat on the edge of the bed and signaled for you to straddle him. Such an invitation could not go unaccepted, so you crawled onto his lap and continued kissing.

     Without even realizing it, you start grinding your hips while on his lap, creating friction that you both desperately needed. It was so subtle but so effective. It made your breaths shallow but you didn't want Hee to say anything about it. You tried so hard to contain your self but you let out a slight moan.

"Mhmm do you like that baby?, you didn't think I would notice what you are doing here?, don't worry because i'm really enjoying it to."

     WHAT? You think to yourself. "I'm glad you are enjoying yourself." he says as he slightly chuckles.

     This man KNOWS how to make you feel embarrassed, but he doesn't mind what you are doing and you surely don't either. It's as if he were saying these things to provoke you to do it more. So you did. You were desperate.

     You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter. You could also feel his bulge get a lot more obvious under you.

     He gets to the point where he can't take it anymore. He grabs you and picks you up, in the same position that you were sitting on his lap in, and he turns you around and slams you onto the bed, having you laying on your back.

     His pants looked like they were getting tight from his  painfully large erection. You are so tempted to strip him of his clothes and have it your way, but, you knew that he wasn't gonna happen.

     He crawls on top of you and starts kissing you again. This time, more forceful and hungrily. He then starts kissing down your neck and your collarbones. He sucks on your sensitive skin, leaving purple hickies all over your upper chest and neck.

     Both you and him start breathing heavily. He pulls at the bottom of your t-shirt, signaling that he wanted to take it off of you. You lift your arms and he slides your shirt off.  You are left exposed with only a bra on. He goes in and starts leaving hickies on the exposed parts of your breasts.

     He goes back up to kissing your lips passionately while caressing your breasts with his big, muscular hands.

     You feel one of his hands slide down you back, you assume it's to unhook your bra. The feeling of his hand grazing on your back gives you goose bumps. He unhooks your bra and gently pulls it off of you.

     He admires your beautiful, topless body.

"I hope you know that I have wanted this for so long, ever since our parents got together" He said sincerely.

     You can't help but to blush. You are left speechless. You pull him down to give him another kiss.

     He pulls away from your lips and immediately goes down to sucking on your nipples. He swirls his tongue and it make you short of breath. "Ah~h~ you are so good at this Seungie." You hands are gripping his hair, fueling him to do more.

He stands up and towers over you, throwing his shirt off and to the side. His eyes were full of lust and determination. He ran his fingers up your thighs and stopped to hold them around the seam of your shorts. You lift up your hips, assuring him that it is okay to take them off.

He pulls of your shorts and your panties in one go. “You always look so fucking hot in these shorts when you walk around the house, but i’ve always wondered what you would look like with them off” he says in a deep, raspy voice. His bulge poking through his basketball shorts brushes against your naked pussy, making you so much more desperate.

“I have felt the exact same way about you” you return, leaning up and tugging at the waist of his shorts. “Please let me taste you” you begged.

He can’t help but to have a huge smile on his face and his shorts drop to the ground. His throbbing cock springs out, catching you by surprise. You imaged it to be big, but not like this. Heeseung could see the fear in your eyes as you knelt down to the ground.

“Don’t be scared sweetheart, I will make it fit”.

You don’t know of him saying this makes you feel reassured or more scared but you continued either way.

You grab the base of it and start off with small licks, trying to build up the courage to take more of it. He hummed a little bit when you put your mouth on it. He starts to run his fingers though your hair in the midst of it all.

Once you got confident enough to take more, you found yourself putting you mouth around it and sucking on it more. You start bobbing your head up and down. You were only taking about a third of it to tease him.

He is relieved from all of his built of tension finally being released by the feeling of your mouth around his dick, replicating the real thing.

He soon gets tired of you only sucking on the top and he grips your hair and slowly pushes your head a little bit farther each time, which didn't bother you too much because despite being scared of the size at the start, your throat seemed to mold to the size of his dick very easily.

He groans quietly because he doesn't want to admit that this good feeling has taken a toll on him. Suddenly, he pushes your head all of the way down, with the head touching the back of your throat. He repeats the motion, he is face fucking you with no shame.

The sound of you gagging on his dick and the sound of his quiet moans mixed together made you feel really good. Cute tears start rolling down your face and he looks down to you.

"You look so pretty with my dick in your mouth, and with the tears in your eyes... I almost want to take a picture and save it for later." he said admiringly

You wish he fucking did. You wish that you had met him before your parents met, so that you both could be together instead.

When he talks to you this way you can't feel any other way but than accomplished. You, making your stepbrother feel really good, was a hard concept for you to grasp, but you loved it.

He pulls out of your mouth and pushed your back onto the bed. He leans down and hovers him self over you. “Are you sure you want this” he whispered in your ear. You could feel nothing but horniness and desperation and all you could do was agree to cross the line that could never be taken back.

"Yes, please, this is exactly what I need."

He smiled at your words and starts massaging your clit with his tip slapping it on you wet folds. One he felt the time was right, he gently inserts himself inside of you.

"Fuuuck~" he said under his breath.

He starts with 1 inch, then 2, then 3 until he is almost all the way inserted in you. Giving you time to adjust to his size. He starts going in and out slowly, making sure that you are as comfortable as possible. You winced at the pain at the beginning, but slowly, the pain was turning into pleasure. You had never taken a cock this big in the past, the new feeling was exciting, but stung as well.

     He starts picking up the pace once you signaled that it was okay for him to do so. His face and chest was glistening with sweat which you found extremely hot. His deep breathing and the faces he would make as he was sliding his member in and out of you is something that you just don't forget.

“We should have been doing this a long time ago, I can’t get enough of this pussy” he groans

Your cheeks turn red at the thought that these forbidden feelings for your step sibling were not one sided.

     He starts going fully in and almost all of the way out with each stroke. He throws his head back in pleasure and his grunts and moans start to get louder. The pace is really fast and it feels like you are on a whole new world. The sound of your skin slapping together and the sound from how wet you are make the atmosphere of the room more intense. Your moans are all over the place, changing from whimpers, to gasping for air, or just screaming his name.

     He used his thumb to stimulate your clit. He was like a professional, knowing every trick in the book to make a woman cum. This in itself would make you reach your high very quickly, but you try to hold it back.

     "I had imagined your pussy to be heavenly, but this is so much better." Seung says smiling. He takes pride in making you really wet.

“It feels- So good” You choke up. A few more strokes and you could start to feel your orgasm approaching.

     "Angh, i'm almost there Hee." you say out of breath.

     "Hold it back for me, for just a little bit longer." he says. You are determined to wait until he says it's okay.

He pounds deeper into your pussy, brushing agains your most sensitive spot, making you scream out. His tip repeatedly pressing against your cervix as he bottoms out, as if his dick was perfectly made to fit inside of only you.

Your walls clenched around his dick and he became more breathless. “Let’s cum together”

“Please Seungie, i’m so close pleaseee”

Your cute begs sent him over the edge. He strokes getting slower and sloppier as he releases his seed inside of you. His dick was pulsating inside of you while you rode out your high, digging your nails into his back while trying to contain yourself.

He slowly pulls his limp dick out of you and grabs a rag to clean you up. He leans down to plant a kiss on your forehead. “You can not not anyone” he states sternly.

“Not a soul” you responded looking directly into his eyes.

He chuckles “I should invite you into my room more often”

[inmaki2]

luxiem’s reaction to you falling asleep on stream

req . luxiem x gn!reader .

fluff . 1k est wc .

(f/n - fandom name) ty for the cute req ^^ not proofread + lmk if there’s warnings i missedd

“lemme just read a few more supas before i end, chat..”

despite your determined words, even the viewers notice your model’s eyes drooping ever so sleepily while you talk. many express their concern and wishes for you to continue tomorrow, while others spam ‘tskr’ and remarks on how endearing the situation was.

“‘go sleep’? nah, you don’t—“ you’re cut off by a yawn, speech turning slower involuntarily, “you don’t have to worry, i’m.. i’m okay guys.”

coincidentally, right as you try to read the next donation, you close your eyes, attempting to give yourself just a second of rest, only to slip right into dreamland. of course, your chat explodes simultaneously; a majority being exclaims of what would happen next while others debate on if something else might’ve occurred. luckily for you, your boyfriend — who just so happens to be experienced in your field of work — is on the bed a few feet over, ready to help out.

mysta rias

mysta is much more observant than some may think (especially when it comes to you) and easily caught onto your state long before chat did

he shook his head from the bed, knowing exactly how you were feeling whilst you pushed yourself to continue thanking donations

it hurt him watching you in such a state, especially knowing he couldn’t do much

but now that you’ve drifted off, he’s quick to tiptoe over and take control of your model

he doesn’t even say hi, only muttering a ‘give me a minute, guys’ before grabbing your underarms and carrying you off to bed

once you’re neatly tucked in, he plants a quick kiss to your forehead before rushing back to finish up the stream

“sorry about that, yes it’s mysta! hope you guys dont mind me taking over for a bit.. wait, why’s everyone saying clip this?!”

mysta isn’t big about sharing much when it comes to your relationship, but he’ll be sure to let your fanbase what’s going on if you (clearly) can’t admit it yourself

“yep.. they say don’t worry, but then shit like this happens. fuckin’ stubborn, aren’t they?” he huffs, glancing over at your sleeping figure with fond but frustrated eyes

“good thing i was here. don’t worry, f/n.. i know you’re jealous and all, but they’re in good hands. if y’know what i mean,” the male cackles before remembering how close you are, sighing when he ensures you’re still asleep

mysta being mysta, he ends up talking to chat for a bit longer than necessary, mostly rambling about you of course

and before he ends stream, the idiot probably comments some suggestive shit that only makes the amount of clips from your stream double (sigh)

however, while he fools around for the viewers, don’t expect to be off the hook without a serious talk in the morning, along with a staff meeting that mysta will personally organize that same night

also,, be prepared for him to never live this down </3

ike eveland

the amount of times he had to stop himself from rushing over and just pulling you to bed throughout the stream..

he even tried (spamming) texting you, yet you’d simply send a stern shake of your head from the desk

so of course, once you closed your eyes for good, ike was already planning out the speech he was going to give you later on

your boyfriend can’t help but mumble about how ‘he knew this would happen’ as he paces closer, muting your mic before carrying you bridal style to bed

as romantic as it sounds, this boy was deadpanning stubbornly the whole time

“well, hello there f/n, ike here! like i’m sure most of you figured out, y/n fell asleep. the remainder of supas will continue next stream, but i hope you guys take this as a lesson that having designated time for rest is just as important—“

yes, even your chat gets an ike lecture

soon after, he’s shutting your pc down while glancing at you with an unreadable gaze

poor boy isn’t sure if he wants to scold you or hug you first

in the end he complies with hugging you all night

even after he wakes up he’ll bring his laptop in bed just so he can be near you while still working

“ah, look who’s awake,” brushing some hair from your face, he chuckles as you stretch cutely. “did you sleep well?”

“mm.. wait, what happened to my stream?”

at this, ike deadpans once again, pushing his laptop away — and that’s when you know you’re in trouble <\3

shu yamino

he knows how headstrong you can be, so he rarely tries to get you to change your mind on things like this, even when watching you doze off on live eats away at his heart

the only time he’d given his opinion was a few hours before stream, where you showed visible signs of over working

“babe?” he swallowed in discontent, inspecting your messy state from the kitchen. “i think you should cancel stream today, we can start a new anime n’ head to bed early tonight instead.”

it was a tempting offer, but the looming thought of potentially letting fans down made you swiftly decline, earning a defeated sound from the male

now here he was, rushing over to mute your mic and gently pat you awake

“y/n— y/n, you fell asleep on stream.”

that has your eyes shooting open, and the redness in them has guilt building further in shu’s chest

he feels like a bad boyfriend, like he should’ve been more assertive in taking care of you, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened

but those thoughts were for another day; right now you needed him more than ever

in an attempt to calm you down as you blabbered in confusion, he squeezes your hand in his

“shh, baby,” shu rarely used such petnames, but it immediately has you settling down. “you’re okay. it’s okay, f/n are still here waiting for you, see?”

he continues to kneel by your setup, rubbing your knuckles comfortingly as you build up the strength to unmute and explain the situation

“i don’t even know what happened, i hope everyone who donated doesn’t mind if i finish reading them next stream?” as you speak, shu nods supportively

if for some reason anybody were to get upset about this, he’d gladly argue with them himself

as soon as you hit ‘end stream’, he rises from the floor, holding your hand while walking to bed and murming affirmations softly

he smiles as you fall back to asleep almost instantly, messaging your manager himself to clear your schedule <3

vox akuma

honestly, he’d never let it come to this in the first place

“love, you’ve been slugging around all day. there’s no way you have the energy for a stream.”

in the end, you make a compromise to stream for much less time than you originally planned.. yet still fell asleep

vox hadn’t even realized at first; so busy completing work of his own until the silence finally registered

he would be mad and scold you like ike.. but you just look so cute napping away at your desk!!!

without bothering to mute, mans just admires you for a second with a tiny smirk

even in this state you were stunning to him,, not his fault

eventually lifts you like a sack over his shoulder (if you weren’t so tired he’d slap your ass by now. sigh) before settling you in bed

at that point he was desperate to just cuddle up with you, but of course the live was still ongoing

“why hello, f/n, there’s been a bit of.. em, a turn of events as you can see.. my idiot partner refuses to give themself a break so now you get me!”

vox chuckles lowly while reading the chaos and confusion in chat, sparking a new onset of comments. “guys, i can guarantee your oshi is not dead, c’mon, have some faith in me.”

like mysta, he doesn’t want to let the viewers in on too much, but he definitely hovers around the topic of overworking and breaks

“—after all, they’ve given up hours upon hours to plan more streams and events for you to enjoy, so now, i’d like everyone to be equally supportive and let them have a week or so off, hm? we don’t want this happening again, right?”

it’s a bit passive-aggressive, protective boyfriend tone honestly,, he can’t help it okay!

the minute it’s over vox is rushing back into bed, taking on the role of big spoon instinctively at your exhausted state

in the morning, he’s eager as ever to help you send a break request to the company <3

luca kaneshiro

now this one can be a bit,,

oblivious

he could tell you were tired, yes — but had no inkling it was to such a degree where you’d fall asleep in front of thousands of viewers

it definitely makes him think back to how your energy had been much lower than usual for a while now

he feels guilt bubbling in his stomach, but pushes it away as he swiftly moves in front of your mic

“chat! psst, it’s— it’s luca! y/n fell asleep, should i scare them!?” he whispers, barely holding in a mischievous giggle, “kidding, kidding. they deserve to sleep, like, really. i’ll keep you guys company for now alright?“

being the entertainer he is, luca easily finished up stream with his ‘impromptu asmr’, all while keeping one hand on your knee affectionately

“alright f/n, i think it’s time i uh, get y/n to bed, but thank you to those who stuck around! i’ll make sure they get lots of rest, pinky promise!”

it was going smoothly until he clumsily tried to lift you from the chair, awkwardly placing one hand on your behind and the other around your torso

“luca? the fuck are you doing?” you blink, only registering your boyfriend’s interesting hand placement as you wake up

his eyes widen, quickly letting you down with flushed cheeks. “what— i— i was just bringing you to bed! you fell asleep!”

“oh.. wait, on stream?!”

the boy quickly assures you (through lots of laughter) that he had it under control, and luckily for him you were too tired to fight back, only humming as he slides into bed as well

“i pinky promise’d your chat, babe. i promised that i’d make sure you rest, so no streaming for the next couple days, ‘kay?”

he gets snoring in response, which in his mind is good enough!

you wake up to a message from your manager wishing you a nice week off.. and the culprit only smiles adorably <3

if u want me to write more make sure to reblog/send asks and tell me if u enjoyed !!!!!

nkox 2023 - do not copy, translate, crosspost, etc.

[milkistay]

STRAY KIDS and jealousy

pairing. skz x gn!reader

format. headcanons

chan

- on one hand, he’s so used to being level-headed and being the one to alleviate rough situations - he’s a leader after all - but on the other hand, he can’t help but get irrationally jealous sometimes - and he beats himself up over it because he knows he’s better than this - he has a possessive quality about him, especially when it’s you - but what he also has is the fantastic ability to recognize his feelings and know how to properly process them - so when he gets jealous, he takes time to himself to calm down and think more rationally - when he reenters the situation, he feels more himself and is reminded how much he loves and trusts you - you two talk it out a bit and swap reassurances of love and it works out <3

minho

- will take it seriously if you betray his trust - even if he gets jealous on his own accord, he’s not the most amicable - maybe he jumps to conclusions a bit fast and ends up shutting you out to try and protect himself and his feelings - can tend to get uncommunicative which makes it difficult to reach him - his intentions aren’t malicious, he just immediately goes into self-preservation mode - it often takes him talking to one of the other members for them to make him realize he’s overreacting - then he talks to you and you work it out - his jealousy can become a point of contention in your relationship but it’s nothing you can’t work out and make less serious as time goes on - at the end of the day you love each other

.

.

changbin

- feels the need to overcompensate :(( - turns up his comedy to try and make you laugh more than the person he’s jealous of - just tries to remind you why he’s better by showing off his charm - after a while, he starts to feel a bit silly - when you two are finally alone, then he’ll be transparent with how he’s feeling and try to work his emotions out with you - you’re always willing to have the conversations he needs to have - and you both leave feeling closer and more confident in your relationship - changbin king of communication!

hyunjin

- doesn’t tend to get jealous because he is such a romantic and loves with his WHOLE heart so if he’s getting into a relationship, he’s making sure there is SO much love between him and his partner - so if he gets in a relationship with you, you best believe he trusts you fully - so when he does get jealous, it’s not that he’s worried something will happen - he more so just gets a bit sad because he’s missing you - he doesn’t expect to be at the center of your attention 24/7 but it just saddens him a bit when you’re spending more time with someone else - he just misses you! - but then he sees you again and you go out and everything’s okay again

jisung

- he turns his jealousy inwards on himself rather than you or the person he’s jealous of - it sort of just heightens his insecurities - makes him spiral into why he’s not good enough for you - even though that’s not the case at all - also blames himself for feeling that way because it makes him feel foolish - just lets himself take all of the punches from his jealousy - doesn’t want to be stupid and get you involved - but it doesn’t take much to pull him out of that spiral - just a little bit of assurance that you love him and he’s all smiles again

felix

- felix has a big heart and cares a lot about the health of your relationship - if he gets jealous or feels insecure as a partner, he wants to do everything he can to fix it - usually this will be talking it out with you - but he rarely takes the lead in these conversations - instead, he shares all of his feelings and thoughts and looks to you for advice - sometimes he’ll ask his others members for advice as to not burden you with his issues - he just wants to find a solution that works for the both of you, whether that’s spending more time together, giving one another more assurance, etc. - he’s not one to shut you out or take time to himself, he’s more one to jump into a back-and-forth with you to figure out how to keep jealousy at bay

seungmin

- doesn’t really get jealous  - hates the feeling cause he’s just making discomfort for himself - trusts you and respects your decisions to spend time with whoever you want - as long as you come home to him at the end of the day and you fall asleep in his arms, who’s he to complain? - if he DOES somehow get jealous, he just gets upset at himself - takes some time away from the situation to put it in perspective and figure his emotions out - ends up just ignoring it until it goes away

jeongin

- he may have a jealous instinct - but he has more of a communication instinct - so when he gets jealous, he channels his natural fervor into confronting you directly to talk it out - he’s very honest and blunt with how he’s feeling and expect you to be the same - doesn’t appreciate it if you dance around the issue - so be transparent with him and the issue gets solved just like that - his other method is removing himself from the situation and sitting with himself or with another member to work out his feelings independently - he’s a mature one, very good at working out relationship issues

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

On not getting eros

I’ve discussed Yuuri not getting eros multiple times, but I never explained what it actually means because this subject seems to be a sensitive and controversial one either way. Yet, it's also an important one for quite a number of reasons I will come back to later.

And that's why we need to discuss it.

First: What is eros? - a very short trip back in time

YOI explains eros as “sexual love”, matching the Ancient Greek definition as “sensual or passionate love” from which the term “erotic” is derived. Classical philosophers described it as a “madness from the gods” that befalls people at the sight of another person with disastrous results (e.g. the story of Paris and Helena). In YOI, this “madness” equates to “what causes you to lose the ability to make normal decisions”.

(The definition of eros varied a lot over the centuries. Plato defined eros as a general concept of passion that excludes physical attraction and argued that it can be utilised to pursue intellectual interests. Freud insisted that eros is not to be confused with libido, and the Catholic Church’s definition had a huge influence on more modern definitions and not for the better.)

What the ancient Greeks called eros is nowadays known as sexual attraction. Classical philosophers probably didn’t make the distinction towards romantic attraction since the two are often conflated. However, describing eros as a “madness from the gods” points towards a primal instinct that the majority of humans experiences starting from when the body begins to produce sex hormones during puberty.

What this implies for Yuuri

As an adult male of 23, Yuuri is long past puberty. Thus, one would expect him to understand eros on an intuitive level. However, what makes him lose the ability to make normal decisions is not the sight of another human being, not even his celebrity crush parading in front of him like a Greek god—no, it's his favourite food. And there’s only one explanation why that is:

So far, Yuuri has not experienced sexual attraction.

No anxiety disorder, no feelings of inadequacy, no lack of self-esteem, and certainly not an alleged ability to restrain himself can explain this absolute cluelessness about a basic human instinct. It cannot explain why Yuuri is immune to the sight of naked Viktor, i.e. why that doesn't make him want to bent Viktor over the edge of the hot spring and do unspeakable things to him. And this brings us to the critical part of the discussion:

Yuuri is on the asexual spectrum.

Where on that spectrum he could be, I'm going to discuss in a minute.

Yuuri is well aware that at his age the general populace is able to express eros and that by extension, he is excpected to and should be able to express it, too. In his first attempt at tackling eros, he uses his favourite food as a workaround, but if he had no particular food cravings, literally anything he’s passionate about would work, too (it took me ages to figure that out because, personally, I rather roll with Plato than food metaphors). Yuuri keenly feels that katsudon isn’t it, though. He thus changes the protagonist of the story he made up for his SP because he relates to the woman’s situation more than to the playboy, which works fairly well because it reflects his fears about Viktor leaving and his desire to keep Viktor for himself (see also this meta). However, it takes him until episode 6 to find his eros, and this eros is a very possessive and commanding one (see also this this meta). Essentially, episode 6 is about Yuuri learning that he is indeed capable of seducing Viktor with his skating and this ability comes with a certain power that is reflected in his scores. He doesn't magically experience sexual attraction now—what happens here has all the qualities of a kink with dominance/possessiveness, which Viktor seem to like a lot.

That Yuuri is asexual is essential for the plot of Yuri!!! on Ice to work.

Which asexual microlabels are compatible with canon Yuuri?

Aside from a few subtle hints, this is pretty much open to interpretation. The tie-grab in episode 8 and the strong sexual tension in that scene narrows the list down to demisexual, greysexual, or sex-favourable ace.

A demisexual Yuuri would experience sexual attraction once he has formed a close bond with another person or got to know them intimately enough. Before Viktor, Yuuri struggled to form close relationships of any kind; Viktor is the first he wants to form a bond with and whom he lets into his heart. In this context, episode 6 could be interpreted as the very first time Yuuri experiences sexual attraction.

A greysexual Yuuri would be capable of experiencing sexual attraction sometimes and in certain situations, but again, the point when Yuuri perfects eros defines the earliest instant at which he would experience sexual attraction for the first time.

The likeliest interpretation that I found, however, is that Yuuri is a sex-favourable ace. It’s not only the tie-grab in episode 8 that besides its obvious kinkiness oozes a sexual tension that implies that he and Viktor did it (and liked it), but also the lyrics of Stammi Vicino describing viktuuri on a meta level:

Le tue mani, le tue gambe, le mie mani, le mie gambe, i battiti del cuore si fondono tra loro. Your hands, your legs, my hands, my legs and the heartbeats are fusing together.

This line expresses a unification on a physical and on a mental level. It implies a strong physical intimacy that can't be explained by Yuuri and Viktor being together and skating together in the gala alone.

The differences between these microlabels are hidden in the nuances, the rest is up to personal preference/experience. If you want your version of Yuuri to be canon-compliant, you can't go wrong with either flavour of aceness, including those I didn't discuss in this because they seem less likely to me. If you came to the conclusion that a sex-repulsed kinky Yuuri would work just as well, my answer to you would be that canon Viktor would be happy with everything his Yuuri is willing to give. If there's a fictional couple who would make a relationship in which one partner in sex-repulsed and the other is allosexual work, it would be viktuuri.

Next some questions I wish someone had explained to me in this context:

Q&A: But why does Yuuri...?

dry-hump Viktor at the Sochi banquet: If the amount of clothes Yuuri wears gives away the timeline of the event, he danced with Viktor before he went off to the pole with Chris. Some of this dancing was quite physically and that can be totally enough to make a sensitive person horny (and Yuuri is very sensitive to touch). Add an unholy amount of alcohol to this and you have Yuuri rubbing his genitals at his idol. (note that libido ≠ sexual attraction)

say that Viktor could impregnate everyone, including him: Being asexual doesn’t deprive you of the ability to identify sexiness in other people and understanding the meaning of “hot”. Viktor demonstrating Eros right in front of Yuuri would instantly put Yuuri into a massive swoon, and while it wouldn't make him horny and want to fuck Viktor, he would be be swept away because of how cool and amazing Viktor is.

hastily turns away when Viktor stretches in front of him in the bath: Well, that's an obvious reaction of discomfort. Not everyone would be happy to stare right at someone else's dick (unless you love dicks, obviously).

On a side note, I find it quite ironic that Morooka calls Yuuri “Japan’s ace skater” in the Blu-ray subs, but aside from the fact that things one character says about another should always be taken with a grain of salt, deriving a character’s sexuality from such wording is as far-fetched as deriving it from colour schemes or characters blushing at one another (and in YOI, they blush like all. the. time.). I have no idea if the YOI creators intended an asexual reading of Yuuri. However, the result is an unambiguously ace-coded Yuuri that is needed for the story of Yuri!!! on Ice to work in the way that it does.

Why this discussion is overdue

Good ace representation: Although it's not officially confirmed, Yuuri is a realistic representation of a queer label that is often overlooked and underrepresented in media.

Educational purposes: There are many harmful misconceptopns surrounding asexuality, and while this post doesn't aim at dispelling them, I hope it will make a little difference.

Spreading awareness: Because there is so little awareness about what it means to be asexual—even inside the queer community—the ace-coding is only obvious for people who have educated themselves on the subject. Unfortunately, this makes Yuuri being prone to mischaracterisation.

Helping people figure themselves out: Asexuality is a concept that is very hard to make sense of when you don't even know that you experience things differently. I've seen posts discussing ace-coded characters and they only confused the hell out of me. I hope that this post will be helpful to other people being unaware of or questioning their aceness.

Last but not least: Not being sexually attracted to people doesn't impact or contradict Yuuri's romantic orientation. I will discuss Yuuri's "top-secret" love life in my next meta.

For further reading about Yuuri and his endeavours to tackle eros, please check out these metas:

How skating to eros despite not getting it showcases Yuuri's extreme bravery (episode 3) [X]:

Yuuri finally finding the definition of eros that works for him (episode 6) [X]

The development of On Love: Eros throughout the series, including the a discussion of the workarounds Yuuri uses: [X]

My special thanks goes to cecebeanie for our countless discussions on the subject and patiently answering even my stupidest questions, for proofreading, and for encouraging me to write this post in the first place 💜💙

PS: Of course, you can headcanon Yuuri as you wish. I'm just discussing the likeliest interpretation based on the facts the source material provides.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me!

If you like my metas, please check out my works on AO3.

Edit: While I was going through the reblogs of this post, I came across a lovely comment from someone who was a bit divided about whether Yuuri is overly sexual or asexual with a tendency towards the latter, and so I thought I'd provide some context for anyone else wondering about this:

In my experience, these two things aren't mutually exclusive. People with a strong libido or sex drive can be perceived as overly sexual, and that can apply to asexuals as well. Experiencing no sexual attraction doesn't determine whether someone has a low or high libido, nor does it determine whether someone enjoys having sex for whatever reasons. It's true that many asexuals don't ever want to have sex, but there are also those who like it because they find it pleasurable, want to feel physcially close to their partner, engage in sex-related kinks etc. It's a spectrum after all. Personally, I think that Yuuri would enjoy sleeping with Viktor for all of these reasons once he's okay with allowing so much intimacy.

[imwetforyourmom]

I like the way you kiss me

summary: what could possibly happen in a bathroom, at a party, between two friends?

warnings: kissing, praising, public (?), swearing, song does not match up with the words whatsoever, dom!chris sub!reader, fem!reader, blow job, fwb, ASSUME YOU’RE ON THE PILL!!

IN HONOUR OF ARTEMAS’ NEW SONGG

~

y/ns hands flatten on her dress, rubbing it down in either a nervous or cleaning her skirt manner.

this was a huge party, and who knows who could be here? chris maybe, her friends with benefits. no, he doesnt like parties he wouldnt come.

he mainly didnt like them because everyone was always in peoples personal space and the heavy smell of achohol and weed was always bothering him.

fuck. this wasnt normal, y/n shouldnt know this much about chris, hes simply a hookup.. a friends with benefits. which, theyre still friends, so she guesses its normal.

while thinking deeply about what she should and shouldnt know about chris, she accidentally bumped into a a tall figure. while trying to avoid other sweaty bodies.

“shit! sorry!” she spoke quickly, her body moving off the others just as fast.

her eyes scanned up his body, stopping at his face as her eyes scanning his facial features, quickly recognizing chris.

chris.

chris smirked, looking down at her.

“you look hot, mama” he spoke, his voice seductive. he wrapped his hand around her waist and pulled her close to him.

“who you all dressed up for like that, hm?” he mumbled, speaking into the top of her head.

y/n quickly thought of her words, if she spoke truthfully, chris might spare her, and if she lied and said ‘for you’ he would know she wasnt expecting him here and edge her for hours on end, the next time they hooked up.

“me, I- uh, I wasnt expecting to see you here, chris.” she muttered, deciding to talk truthfully and give herself mercy.

“hm. well, now that im here. would you like to dance?” he hummed, his hand traveling off her waist and down her arm, wrapping his hand around hers, walking her with him to the dance floor.

“sure!” y/n answered, its not like she had a choice anyways, chris was already spinning her around and singing along with the music currently blasting through the speakers.

“I like the way you kiss me

I like the way you, uh

I like the way you kiss me”

oh.

this was y/n and chris’ song. the song. the song they always ended up fucking to. no matter where or the situation, she always found herself either ontop or under chris.

chris stared down at her, a knowing look on his face. a smirk slowly creeping onto his lips and his eyes trailed down her body once again, looking at how short her skirt was and how the neckline of her shirt cut off at.

he leant down and looked up, looking at others as his hips swayed with y/ns.

“would you like to fuck now or wait till later?” he whispered into her ear. knowing he was going to be able to fuck her at the end of the night, so in all honesty he didnt mind when she chose.

undoubtedly, y/n had been soaking wet for chris since he’d wrapped his arms around her waist and began talking to her in that deep yet seductive voice.

“now, please.” she mumbled.

* • •

chris’ lips ontop of y/ns, in a rushed but passionate manner. her lips returning the needy kiss, a thousand thoughts running through her mind at once, but all she could focus on was just how wet she was feeling from just chris’ hard on pressing into her thigh.

she moaned into chris’ mouth unexpectedly from his tongue pushing past her lips and teeth, intertwining their tongues in a hot and messy kiss.

chris walked y/n into the door, pressing her back into it, making it all the more romantic whilst his lips engulfed hers. his hands frantic once they connected with her body, moving them all over her, wherever they possibly could.

not tryna be romantic

ill hit it from the back

just so you dont get attached

he bit onto her lip once more before pulling away and pushing her down onto her knees by her shoulders, gently but quickly. y/n made it easier for him and lowered herself, running her hands down him as she moved.

she ran her hands up and down his thighs, before quickly unbuckling his belt and pushing his jeans and boxers down altogether.

you bite my lip, just for the taste

you’re on your knees

im on the case

you take the heat, and with such grace

once his length is free and slaps his stomach she immediately wraps her mouth around his cock. wasting no time.

chris groans and places his hand on the top of her head, grabbing a fistful of her hair, he bobs her head up and down with force.

y/n wrapped her hand around what she couldnt fit inside her mouth. moving her hand up and down whilst chris moved her head up and down himself, her lips fully around his length and her cheeks hollowing as she sucked.

“fuck- y/n, you’re doing so good f’me” he praised, his fingertips lightly pressing into her scalp in a gentle motion, rewarding her I’d say.

she licked his underside aswell as sucking and bobbing her head up and down, making the experience all the more pleasureable for chris.

I like the way you kiss me

I can tell you miss me

I can tell it hits, hits, hits, hits

tears began collecting at y/ns waterline from the constant abuse to her throat.

with the experience y/n has at giving bjs to chris, she knows all his little weak spots, such as running her tongue tip under his tip.

“f-fuck, y/n- shit” he moaned, small grunts leaving his lips aswell.

“im- im cumming! fuc- fuck” he pushed her head further down, finally stopping when he was deep in her throat. throwing his head back, cumming down her throat.

y/n lightly sucked before she was pulled off him, using the grip chris had on her hair.

chris quickly moved his lips to hers again whilst he grabbed her waist and moved her over to the sink. he pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to her neck before bending her over the sink.

I like the way you kiss me, I can tell you miss me

I can tell it hits, hits, hits, hits

not tryna be romantic, I'll hit it from the back

just so you don't get attached

he ran his kisses down her back before stopping and pulling away around her lower back. he pushed her skirt up, giving him availablity to touch and grope her ass, aswell as moving her panties to the side.

and he does just that, his hands slither to her ass and grope it, before slapping it, then massaging the skin.

y/n whines impatiently, “chris, please” she spoke, her voice shaky with need.

“please what? hm? what do you want? use your words ma.” he teasingly spoke, knowing what she wanted.

“I want you, i want your cock. I need you. fuck, please chris.” with that chris pulled her panties to the side and ran his tip through her folds, collecting her arousal.

he slowly pushed in, his cock stretching out her walls as he pushed further and further in.

“fuck!” y/n moaned, the burning sensation throughout her body quickly changing into pleasure once chris began thrusting into her.

can we make a scene

can we make it loud

‘cause im so proud, baby,

im so proud of you

from the loud music playing in just the other room they had no reason to worry about being heard.

besides, the music was already enough but with the screaming and talking was even better. what better place than to fuck in a bathroom at a party? no one can hear the moans.

chris placed his hands on her hips, steadying her before thrusting harshly into her.

his pelvis hitting her ass, causing it to bounce with every thrust.

“god, y/n, you’re so pretty.” he mumbled, his eyes trained on her ass.

his hand traveled up her back and to her neck, he gently moved all her hair to her left shoulder so he could press his hot and wet kisses on her neck.

y/n moaned in response, too fucked out with his hard and such pleasureful thrusts to speak.

every two seconds chris would pull out almost all the way, before slamming back into her.

the sounds of skin slapping, moaning, whimpers and pants being the only sounds in the room.

y/ns hand gripped onto the sink edge whilst her other hand gripped onto the counter, holding so tight her knuckles and fingers were turning white.

“fuckk, chris” she moaned out, squeezing her eyes shut and feeding her bottom lip between her teeth, biting hard.

chris’ fingernails dug so deep into y/ns hips it was sure to leave red crescent moon shapes behind.

chris leaned back over to y/ns back and mumbled sweet nothings into her ear, his mouth slowly traveling from her ear down to her neck and shoulder, leaving wet and opened mouth kisses behind.

he kissed and sucked onto her shoulder and neck, leaving a deep purple color in its mark.

with the new angle he got deeper into y/n somehow, her velvety walls squeezing his cock in pure pleasure.

y/ns mouth hung open, drool dripping out of it every few minutes. her eyes lazily drooped open in pure bliss.

“chris- mhmmm, fuck, ‘m close” she whined, her voice awfully quiet and shaky.

“g- go ahead baby, im right behind you.” he answered, his face hanging in her neck as his collarbone was resting on her shoulder.

with that y/n let go and came all over his cock. with loud moans of his name and incoherent sentences.

with just hearing his name come from y/ns mouth like that was enough for him to cum, in which, he did.

he rested his body ontop of hers, not like he hasnt for the past few couple minutes, but now hes resting his entire body weight onto her.

“fuck, you did so good for me baby.” chris muttered, slowly getting off of y/n, aswell as pulling out of her slowly.

“mhh” y/n answered, still recovering from that heavily intense moment.

chris fixed her skirt and panties, then pulled his boxers and pants up.

he looked at her once more, his eyes scanning over her face, seeing the mascara running down her cheeks, the smeared lipstick and tear stained makeup all over her cheeks, proving that he fucked her just as good as he always has.

“you might wanna fix your makeup up some, sweetheart.” he pressed a kiss to her forehead, before opening and closing the door, leaving the bathroom and returning back to the party.

1883 words.

tags

@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @leah-loves-lilies @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @haunted-headset @dollyspsychoxo @sturnib-tch @b2cute @genshin-addict

[hundredandsix]

nsfw alphabet ✩ [ellie williams] ✩

[ ellie x female!reader ]

✩ wc: 3k

✩ cw: mdni (18+), talk of sex (oral, fingering) and sexual dynamics

(a) ✩ aftercare ✩ (what they're like after sex)

She couldn't imagine not doing aftercare. For her, it's just as important as the act itself. What's the point of taking each other apart if you're not there to put each other back together? The yearning and quiet comfort that comes with it puts her at ease.

Nothing too crazy happens because most of the time you're both too tired. You'll help each other put clothes back on and maybe take a shower together if things got... messy. Cuddling until you fall asleep and just being in each other's company is enough—except for when you fight over who gets to be the big spoon.

And don't forget that she needs to be taken care of too! She won't ask for it, but she needs it just as much as you do. Kiss her scars and tell her she's pretty because she's really just a big softie.

(b) ✩ body part ✩ (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner's)

Hers— She doesn't often think about how she looks. As long as she's not hungry and her hair is out of her face, she doesn't feel the need to put in that much effort. If she had to choose, she would probably say her hands. She likes that you like them. And she especially likes how they look when they're touching you. Her tattoo isn't technically a part of her body, but that's also one of her favorites. She would get more if she had the time. She might need to find a new tattoo artist though.

Yours—It's your ass. And she is not afraid to say that or show it. She goes absolutely feral for you. As soon as you're alone, she's grabbing you and pressing her front to your back. And when you're not alone, she finds ways to get around it. She doesn't like for other people to be in on your dirty secrets, but every time she remembers that you're hers, it sends a thrum of excitement through her.

(c) ✩ cum ✩ (anything that has to do with it)

Not to be crass, but Ellie Williams is absolutely filthy.

When it comes to her, she gets embarrassed about making a mess for you. When you taunt her for it, a pretty blush covers her face, but she'll pout and try to distract you. She'll cover her face with her hands and pretend she doesn't like it, but your teasing words make her want to go another round.

But when it comes to you, she wants you all over her. Literally sit on her face. Wherever you want. Whenever you want. She's down. She loves to make a big show of licking her fingers after fingering you. Ellie can't get enough of you. The mess makes it better in her opinion.

(d) ✩ dirty secret ✩ (pretty self-explanatory)

This isn't a secret as you get further into your relationship, but she is a switch at heart. She prefers to top and is more comfortable that way, but she loves it when you take control. At first, she's uncomfortable with you taking the reins. When she's in control, she can at least take charge of the situation and know what to expect. It feels so foreign to her for someone to completely focus on her and her pleasure. She just has to sit there and think about it. When she gets stuck in her head like that, you have to be the one to pull her out.

On a side note, something she actually won't tell you is that she wants you to tie her up. Nothing crazy. Maybe tie her hands to the headboard so she's forced to only think about you and what you're doing to her.

(e) ✩ experience ✩ (do they know what they’re doing?)

She clearly has at least a little experience. She would get around in Jackson if the opportunity arose, but likely wouldn't initiate anything. In the game, Cat and Dina both approached her romantically first. Her sex life would follow that trend.

She's not shy about her body, and she knows how to make a girl feel good, but she also doesn't like sex if there's no emotional connection there. It feels so much better to her when you really love the person you're with.

(f) ✩ favorite position ✩

As we've established, Ellie is an ass girl. She loves to hit it from the back, but she also doesn't like not being able to see your face. She's big on eye contact. If you close your eyes for too long, she'll tap the side of your jaw to remind you. If she's not eating you out, she likes to be face-to-face.

As for her, she's a hypocrite and tries to hide when things get intense. She likes being able to grab a pillow to shove her face into when she thinks she's going to be loud. She doesn't care what position you push her in. She just wants you to be happy and for you to make her feel good.

(g) ✩ goofy ✩ (are they more serious in the moment?)

Sex is full of loving, intimate moments for her. Ellie loves being with someone that she can laugh with. It's never that serious with her. She thinks it takes the fun out of it. She'll laugh at herself when she says something dorky in the moment or fumbles over her words. She can be serious, but she prefers joking around.

(h) ✩ hair ✩ (grooming habits)

It's the apocalypse. She's just happy she can still grow hair. She'd keep it trimmed obviously, and she'd likely expect the same from you. But she wouldn't care what you decide to do with it. Ellie would never let a little hair stop her from getting what she wants.

(i) ✩ intimacy ✩ (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It's 50/50 with her. Most of the time, she prefers the romantic, soul-shatteringly intimate kind of sex, but it's not uncommon for her to be rough—or to want you to be rough with her. With it being an apocalypse there isn't a lot of time to be intimate, so she likes to make the most of what you do have.

On the other hand, she is filthy. Sometimes she doesn't want to take her time. She'll want it messy and loud and so fast that you almost didn't realize it happened. She loves the kind of sex that leaves you or her walking funny the next day. The reminder of the previous night gets her worked up all over again.

(j) ✩ jack off ✩ (masturbation headcanon)

After all that she's been through and the 24354345 different traumas she's experienced, I wouldn't be surprised if she has trouble getting in the mood or even finishing when she's by herself.

She needs external motivation and someone else to talk her through it. If there's no one there to get her out of her head, she doesn't get very far. There is also so little time that she'd be able to. She'd constantly be on patrol or with Jesse and Dina. And why would she waste time trying to get herself off when you could be there helping her instead?

(k) ✩ kink ✩ (one or more of their kinks)

restraint— It doesn't matter to her whether she's physically holding you down or if she actually tied your hands. She thinks it's hot either way. The sounds you make when you're so desperate to touch her make it hard for her to focus. But don't worry, she's ready for you to do the same to her.

hair pulling—Goes feral when you pull her hair. Use it to move her where you need her. Run your fingers through it and gently scratch her scalp. Anything to do with her hair gets her going. She'll take it down just for you.

choking (sort of)— I think she'd be very uncomfortable with the idea of actually choking you or you choking her, but she likes the dominance that comes with putting a hand around your partner's neck. She won't push down, and she won't want you to either, but the idea that she could makes her throb. She likes the thrill of it. Going back to her hands, she also likes how her fingers look wrapped around you. If she had a camera, she'd take a picture of it.

praise— Again, she's not exactly insecure, but she loves it when you talk her through it. She could nearly get off to your voice alone. She might play around with the idea of humiliation, but if you say something too mean, she'll get all pouty.

edging/overstimulation— These aren't the same thing, but she'd use them together. She loves the sounds you make when you're about to cum. If she can prolong that in any way, she will. And when she finally does let you finish, she'd keep going because "this is what you wanted, right?"

(l) ✩ location ✩ (where they like to get it on)

She wouldn't be opposed to any remote areas. It's hard for her to get in the mood when the threat of people seeing or something killing you is hanging over her head. She likes her little shack best of all. It's where she feels most like herself. She likes your place, too, but can never get enough of seeing your writhing body in her bed.

(m) ✩ motivation ✩ (things that make them tick/turn-ons)

I don't think it would take a lot to get her in the mood when you're around. She's kind of obsessed with you tbh. Especially when you're in public, she notices all of the little things you do and it just makes her heart throb.

She'd be quick to assure you that she enjoys merely your company. Ellie doesn't want you to feel like she's using you. Even if it takes very little to get her going, she wants you to feel that same level of desire before she starts something.

(n) ✩ no ✩ (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

She wouldn't want to do anything that would really hurt you or her. She's okay with playing around with the idea—like with the hand around your/her throat—but she doesn't want anything that causes actual physical pain. You both get enough of that in your daily lives, and she doesn't see any sense in contributing to that.

Also, she hates for people to get any idea of your sex life. She likes those secret moments to be between you and her. A little pda is fine, but anything more than that is reserved for the bedroom.

(o) ✩ oral ✩ (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I think everyone on this entire site has established that Ellie is a munch, and there has never been a truer statement. She learns what makes you tic and squirm and will use that against you every single time. It never gets old with Ellie.

She likes to receive just as much. It's her favorite way you get her off. To her, there's nothing prettier than you looking up at her from between her legs. The way you gaze up at her from under your eyelashes with your face wet from her arousal drives her wild.

(p) ✩ pace ✩ (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

Even when the tone is more romantic, I think she usually opts for a faster pace unless she's teasing you. She gets so impatient sometimes and just wants to hear you and feel you. It really depends on the mood though because she'll do whatever you want her to. When she's more serious, she'll go slower and take her time.

(q) ✩ quickie ✩ (their opinion on quickies, how often, etc.)

She wouldn't choose a quickie over taking her time with you, but with your busy schedules sometimes you have to settle for one. That's not to say they aren't as good though because Ellie knows what the hell she's doing. She would never tell you, but she's keeping a mental record of the fastest she's made you cum. There's no harm in a little competition.

(r) ✩ risk ✩ (are they game to experiment? do they take risks?)

She would be hesitant to bring up things she'd like to try but is willing to give what you recommend a chance. As long as it doesn't risk you getting hurt or someone in Jackson seeing something they shouldn't, she's down to try almost anything.

(s) ✩ stamina ✩ (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Ellie doesn't tire easily. Considering there's an apocalypse, she has to be physically fit. That being said, she is also an insomniac. She'll stay up all night but then get tired at random times throughout the day. Sometimes her sleeping habits have a negative impact on her stamina. If you have the time, she likes to go multiple rounds—with snack breaks of course because she works up an appetite.

(t) ✩ toys ✩ (do they own toys? do they use them?)

Unpopular opinion, but I think she would prefer to get you off herself. She's a cocky little shit and wants to prove that she doesn't need any help to make you cum. I can't imagine her using them on herself either. There's also the fact that sex toys haven't been made in 20+ years. Even if you did find anything, it's likely too old to use.

In the small chance that you do find something, she would use it on you if you asked, but it's not her instinct to reach for it. She would let you use it on her, but it would be more about your enjoyment than hers.

(u) ✩ unfair ✩ (how much they like to tease)

Ellie loves to tease. She lives for the sounds you make and how desperate you get. The power gets to her head when you're groping all over her and begging her to let you cum.

But if you try to tease her, game over. She'll humor you for a little bit, but she gets so impatient and even more desperate than you do. Unless you physically restrain her, she'll find a way to get out of the teasing, whether it's distracting you or just reaching down to finish herself off.

(v) ✩ volume ✩ (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Ellie loves it when you're loud, but not loud enough that anyone else could hear you. That's for her and her alone. You usually do most of the talking, but she's not silent. If she's really in the moment, she has no problem doing dirty talk, but she gets so embarrassed about it afterward. She can't help but laugh about it because the thought of it kind of freaks her out. She prefers to leave that up to you.

She's always trying to suppress any sounds that threaten to leave her mouth. Most of the time her moans come out as groans or gasps, but if you're lucky and catch her off guard, she'll whimper.

(w) ✩ wild card ✩ (a random headcanon for the character)

If you've seen my loser!Ellie headcanons, you already know about this, but Ellie is the biggest, dorkiest loser ever. It doesn't take much to get her going because she's obsessed with you. She'll follow you around everywhere and gets so excited about showing you the new comic book or cards she found.

She likes to think she's the one in control, but it is and will always be you. One quirk of your eyebrow and she's on her knees for you. If you're feeling nice, you can humor her but just know she's completely and utterly whipped for you. She'd do anything if you ask her nicely enough.

(x) ✩ x-ray ✩ (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Hypothetically speaking, if she had a strap, it would be purple.

Under her clothes, she's skinny, but there's still muscle there. Her legs are strong from all the walking and running she does. Her stomach is also very toned, and it's so sexy to watch it flex as you're pleasuring her. And her arms. She's no Abby Anderson, but she's surprisingly strong considering her muscle mass. She's strong enough to maneuver you and bend you how she likes, which is all that matters to her.

Oh and the freckles covering her whole body. They're so pretty and she loves when you trace over them with your fingers or tongue. She doesn't understand why you like them so much but she's not complaining.

(y) ✩ yearning ✩ (how high is their sex drive?)

Her drive is relatively normal. She doesn't want every time you are alone to be taken up by sex. Ellie yearns much more in the emotional sense. She wants to hold you and for you to hold her. She wants to feel your body heat against hers and listen to the sound of your laugh. It doesn't take much for her to get in the mood when it comes to you, but she also likes to just enjoy your company. She doesn't want you to feel like she's using you.

(z) ✩ zzzz ✩ (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

She always tries to stay awake, but as soon as you're finished and cuddling, she passes tf out. The problem is that she'll never admit it. She'll be laying with her face pressed to your bare chest, eyes shut, and letting out little breaths against your skin. She tries so hard to stay awake and listen to what you're saying to her but can't contribute much more to the conversation than "mmhm" and "yeah." When you ask her if she's asleep, she'll always say no.

But it's okay because she looks so cute when she sleeps. And she definitely earned it.

a/n- My ask box is open if you want to send me your thoughts ;)

[klmp11s]

the first with a male!Yuu who became extremely popular in the NRC, like many students want to be friends with him, he is respected as if he were a dorm leader and he even has groups of fans among the students.

Fuck, they all turned out to have a different number of words, it upset me a little, although three posts in a day is normal😭(English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes)

Summary: First year students with extremely popular!yuu Characters: Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Jack Howl, Epel Felmier, Sebek Zigvolt Warning: male!reader, ooc(?), hcs, friends to lovers(I'm ready to fight for it), slight jealousy(Асе), Mentions Valentine's Daу, incorrect interpretation of the word (Deuce), veiled declarations of love, kiss(Epel), light possessiveness (Epel)

Ace Trappola

Lol he is literally the founder of your fan club/j I mean that he understands perfectly why so many people want to communicate with you. Like, have you seen yourself? You're one of the most interesting people he's ever met. He is also very glad that other students communicate with you respectfully. Seriously, I think he cared even more than you did. But I also think he was kind of not too keen on the prospect of you getting closer to someone more than him. You won't leave your beloved friend, right? Like, he didn’t like situations at all when, while talking with you, some students unknown to him came and simply took all your attention. Like, hey, you're not THEIR friend, you're HIS. And he would absolutely shamelessly try to take all your attention for himself. Hell, he'd seriously be willing to just take you away from them if he had to. Yes, you can stand up for yourself, but just give him the opportunity to do it for you. STICKY. He is literally physically attached to you. His hand is on your back, shoulder, head, holds your elbow, or he leans his whole body on you. You may not notice, but he is completely shamelessly smiling (dude is ready to stick his tongue out at them) at other students who come up to talk to you. Like, yeah, he's your BEST FRIEND, YES, if they have any questions, let them talk to HIM first. 🙄 He literally didn't notice any "romantic" feelings for you until it was pointed out to him that he was acting like a peacock-guard-dog around you. I swear the realization hits him hard and hard on Valentine's Day. Like, he sits on the bed in your room and looks at the MOUNTAIN of letters, gifts, toys, sweets that were given to you. Seriously, he's sure that if you hadn't left campus so quickly, this mountain would have been even bigger. Of course, such attention is nice, but it’s not at all what you expected. You grab a few boxes of sweets and sit down next to your friend. Your thoughts are filled with only ideas of where and to whom you can give it all, while you watch Ace reach for one of the letters. A pink envelope falls to the floor as he reads out loud a letter from one of the students. “yuu, I swear, you are the first and most unforgettable person I have met. You turned my worldview upside down and I am more than grateful to you for that. Not long ago, I realized that my feelings for you have long been beyond friendship, and I really would like to let you know about it. You are an amazing person and I am truly head over heels in love with you. It has never happened that a simple person aroused so many emotions in me, but I am glad that you became this person. I'd really like to talk to you about this and maybe even ask you out on a datе-" Ace stands up abruptly, crumpling the letter and throwing it into the trash. Yes, you are popular and quite sociable, but a date? Only through his corpse. He falls onto your bed and closes his eyes. A comfortable silence covers your two figures until he asks you a question. “Will you agree?” He covers his eyes with his hand while the other reaches for the package of chocolate lying next to him. “I’ll agree to what?” You watch as he removes his hand from his face and his eyes begin to drill a hole into your face. “ Аgree to a date, genius. With one of… them." He rolls his eyes and rolls over onto his stomach. "Not sure. A couple of them are pretty cute, but they're not my type, you know? Obviously, it's worth talking to them, but I don't think anything more than friendship will work out with any of them. Not interested." You lie down opposite Ace and see the gears in his head begin to work. “Who is your type? If none of your fans, then who? I'm supposed to be your best friend, but you never talked about it, it's not fair." Maybe if you name a specific person, it will be much easier for him to sort out his feelings for you. Like, you only need to be on guard with one person, and not with a thousand different students. It may even be easier to understand what you see in this person.

“Hmm, I see. We really never talked about it. What about the type, I think… Someone who plays some kind of sport, is charismatic and funny enough, protective and a little blind to not seeing all the hints I've ever made - You look at his face and see complete confusion. Okay, maybe you need to be even more obvious. - also, quite silly, first year at Heartslabyul and my best friend. I think this description fits." A couple of seconds and you see his eyes widen. He gets into a sitting position and just looks at you with his mouth open. He tries to catch his eye on something, and looks at the group photo of your first-year group when he slowly begins to open his mouth. "If you call Deuce now, I swear, Ace, I'll strangle you." He looks at you, dumbfounded, and you see his face turn red as he tries to crack a grin. Brushing his bangs away from his face, you gently kiss his forehead, then lightly slap him. Okay, now he obviously understands what you're talking about. Well, now he can be sure that you will choose him, right?

Deuce Spade

He is so good, he is very glad that you are respected and many people want to help you often! He's a little wary, but that's only because he doesn't want any of these students to have malicious intentions. He had definitely saved you a few times from a group of students you didn't really want to talk to. “Sorry, but it’s time for Yuu and I, bye.” And he simply led you by the hand away from these people. Despite this, you even heard some rumors about you and your best friend a couple of times. This is to be expected isn't it? But you decide to simply not pay enough attention to these nonsense. You literally never noticed anything strange in your friendship with him, so why do it now because of some rumors? But believe me, if he hears any of this gossip, he won’t care who exactly started it. He won't let some students spoil the reputation of his best friend. (I think he didn’t fully understand the nature of this gossip, but he didn’t delve into it) He also saw very often when some students gave you letters/any other gifts. It's none of his business, but he's still interested. He's also happy to hear about how you spent the day with some new friends of yours. He's your best friend anyway, so why would he worry about someone he doesn't even know? On Valentine's Day, he didn't expect that an ordinary walk around campus with you would turn into some kind of fan meeting. He wanted to spend time with you and then go to your dorm and have a sleepover together, so why have some students been blocking your entry for half an hour? At some point, he just grabs your shoulders from behind and tells other people, “He's engaged. Isn't it time for you all to get away from him?” After which he takes you away from them and you can finally exhale. Already in your dorm and getting ready for bed, he finally decided to check his phone. The only thing he didn't take into account was that other first years would start tearing up his personal messages. Having opened one of the dialogues and read half of the messages, he realized that he had made a small mistake. Now these same people who confessed their eternal love to you a couple of hours ago are talking right and left that you are engaged to HIM. Perhaps it was a big mistake to use a word with a similar but not direct meaning. He wouldn't have started to worry if he hadn't realized that now you were involved in this too. Now he won't sleep. Do you already know? He turns to you and sees that you are also already going to bed. Seeing how you are almost falling asleep trying to ask him if everything is okay, something is happening to him. He'll talk to you about it tomorrow, yes. Okay, no, he's not ready for this at all. How do you tell someone that you are now rumored to be engaged to your best friend? Moreover, in the morning most of his acquaintances and even his third-year students texted him about this. He should DEFINITELY talk to you about this. When you walk back into your room after showering, you are greeted by your tense friend. Looking at each other, you break the silence. “..Deuce? Something happened?" you sit down next to him, trying to towel dry your hair. "Sorry. I… didn’t want this to happen.” he hands you the phone and you read a couple of messages from Cater. Deuce expects a strong reaction from you, maybe even that you raise your voice at him, but all you do is a short grunt and you continue to dry your hair again. Fine. What? “Yuu, is everything okay? Aren’t you mad or something?” he turns off the phone screen and watches your reaction. "Mmm? Oh yeah, it's okay.” You react completely differently than he thought. Why? “Don’t make that face, seriously, it’s okay. If these people don’t come near me and don’t interfere with us spending time in a place, I could well be engaged to you. Of course, if you feel comfortable" You get up and continue with your weekend routine while your friend seems to be having an existential crisis.

You literally just said that you wouldn't mind being engaged to him. Wow, like… cool. He feels his cheeks begin to burn. “If it’s okay for the two of us, then I agree.” He hears you laugh quietly and, passing by him, ruffle his hair. He, now like your beloved, is ready to help in any of your adventures if it means that he can spend more time with you.

Jack Howl

He's glad that you are respected, that's good. But he doesn’t understand why all these people need to get into your personal space. He even stopped counting how many times he had to pull you away from particularly annoying people who do not have the concept of a “comfort zone.” The number of times he rolled his eyes while another student confessed his sympathy for you has long exceeded one hundred. To be honest, he's not even sure what they're hoping for. Like, they talked to you for half a day, didn’t they? He is of the opinion that actions are needed instead of words and he has told you this more than once. Let all these exclamations of admiration turn into real help, then it will be possible to listen to what exactly these people are saying. He definitely had to take you away from these people. Like “we have to go” and he would just gently grab you by the shoulders and lead you away from the students. Valentine's Day becomes more unbearable. You decided to spend your time with each other, but before you even reached your dorm, you were invaded by several students. Okay, maybe I shouldn't even go out today. You look at your friend and try to get silent help while some unknown student continues his declaration of love. Jack blinks a couple of times and simply nods back at you. He carefully reaches out his hand to you and lifts you into his arms. The now silent group of students watch as the two of you simply walk past them, heading towards the mirror. Already in your dorm, he raised this question. “why don’t you just leave if you don’t want to spend time with them?” he looks into your face and for a second realization comes. “..although there are people who do not accept no at all, I understand.” He follows your figure with his eyes as he sorts out the gifts he has received during this half-day. “When you’re close, they fall behind a lot faster. Maybe you should help me more often like today?” He feels his tail begin to twirl from side to side. “I don’t remember becoming your guard.” Even so, it wouldn't be bad. Your friend is safe and spending time with you, isn't that better than what's been happening lately? A light laugh comes from your side and he turns his gaze to your face. “Well, today you certainly became my knight. Don’t you want to save me from unpleasant people more often? In return.. – You straighten up and look from your friend to the mountain of almost sorted gifts. – In return, you can get all this, and of course me and my safety.” You start laughing as you see how fast Jack's tail is moving. Maybe this isn't a bad deal after all? You take the box of chocolates and sit next to him. “I won’t have to do all the work for you, okay?” His scowl meets your mischievous one as you rise in your seat and place a short kiss on his ear. “Of course, my knight. So what did we want to do before that?” Okay, your popularity MAY be bringing some very good things, but he definitely won't tell you that.

Epel Felmier

PROPERTY SKEPTIC These people want to be friends with a pro best friend? Okay, but fan clubs, crowds of people.. You remind him of Vil. Every time he wants to spend time with you alone, not in your dorm, there will always be at least one person who thinks that he would be useful on your walk with HIM. The "look don't touch" rule becomes the rule “communicate, but not close.” You know, that judgmental side eye? Yes, that's him. Epel doesn't even hide the subtitles from his face, seriously. Every time someone comes up to you to meet/talk, he looks like this: 🙄🤨🧐🫤 Yes, okay, he knows that his best friend is cool, and now let these people leave and not waste oxygen. Okay, jokes aside - he is glad that you are respected and loved, the main thing is that these people do not cross the line of what is permitted. Valentine's Day makes this even worse. Perhaps running away from your dorm to spend time with you in peace and quiet wasn't the best idea. More precisely, the idea is very good, but its implementation is terrible. Epel completely forgot that if you are popular, attention to you will increase one and a half times on Valentine's Day. Therefore, he has been waiting for twenty minutes for the next student who stopped you in the corridor to leave you behind. Epel understands that it’s Valentine’s Day, romance, etc., but doesn’t the person see that you’re in a hurry now? Very often Epel wishes he were much taller, but in such situations this desire becomes very loud in his head. If he were, for example, like Jack, then he could calmly lead you away from these people, but due to his appearance and short stature, the students do not even take him seriously. The only thing he wants now is to take you away from here and finally take a break from all these annoying people. If he could, he would have already drilled two holes in this student's head. Okay, maybe his patience is running out. He comes up to your side and reaches out his hand to your face when he hears your interlocutor shut up for a couple of seconds. Very good. Turning your face towards him, he presses his lips chastely to yours as his gaze focuses on the silhouette across from you. A risky idea, but it should work, right? Moving away from you, he takes your elbow and finally looks at you. "anything else? Or can we finally go?” Without waiting for an answer, he pulls you further away from the other man as he stares at the backs of the two of you, dumbfounded. He'll definitely explain himself to you for his actions, but as long as he's pulling you by your hand, he doesn't really think it was a bad idea.

Sebek Zigvolt

You are not as popular as Malleus 🙄/j To be honest, he doesn't really care. Are you treated with respect? Okay, that's right. He doesn’t care much about the rest as long as no one bothers you. Very often, when you spend time with him, almost no one approaches you. No, they are not afraid of him, they just know HOW noisy your best friend can be, so they decide to talk to you alone. Which doesn't happen often. Do you have a fan club? Cool, but it's not as big as Malleus's. /j I repeat, as long as nothing threatens you and no one crosses your boundaries, he is completely calm about your popularity among students. Although I'm more than sure that during any declarations of love, he stands behind you and looks at what is happening over your shoulder, lol Valentine's Day is passing… strange? Like, yes, you're used to other people's attention, but now you just wanted to relax with your friend, and not listen to another tirade about love and admiration for you. You definitely feel how he begins to straighten your tie while some friend of yours tells you about his feelings, stuttering over his words at that moment. Like, yes, love, whatever, but you should at least look neat, right? As soon as he puts you down, his gaze moves to the other person's face. “Are you finished?”. You are definitely grateful to your friend when you finally walk into your dorm with him. Now, you need to decide where to put all these gifts. Your friends may eat the sweets, but what about letters and other gifts? You take a couple of letters, print them out, and sit down next to your friend. Compliments, praises, and invitations to dates sound the same, no matter what kind of letter you take. When you finish reading another letter, you hand it to your friend before throwing away the other envelopes. His eyes run over the sweet lines of his next confession and he speaks out loud in a calm voice. “I don’t think any of them took writing lessons. A true knight will not use the same word to describe your appearance, character and behavior. At the very least it hurts your ears.” He hands you this letter and leans back on the sofa. You have to become popular with more talented people, you know? “Are you saying that you would have written much better? I would look at it." You see him frown and roll his eyes. “Obviously I could have written it a lot better. Knowing your good sides, I would calmly emphasize them in my declaration of love.” He hears you laugh and continues your game. “Will you write one for me, Sebek? I would be flattered" He snorts, his voice loud and proud throughout the room. “Of course you would be flattered. You will receive it, and you will understand how bad the ones that were given to you before are, human.” Maybe, after all, your popularity is useful and not so much of a hindrance?

The characters do not belong to me, they belong to their rightful owners, please do not edit, translate, repost my works on other platforms, also without my permission and @

[thedomesticanthropologist]

I present to you: at no point in the game is Astarion actually ready for a romantic relationship

Tav is the first person he drank from

The first person he has consensual sex with after 200 years

And he says to them: no one is like you. You're YOU

He genuinely believes that Tav is the *only* person who would be this way, even if it isn't true. He does fall in love with you, he does want you, but I present to you the idea that if things hadn't gone down EXACTLY as they had, Astarion NEVER would have initiated a partnership/romantic relationship for YEARS after escaping Cazador for good.

The man is coded for survival, for self-preservation, and is inherently selfish by nature. It is only because Tav gives selflessly and determinedly reinforces wanting to be with him that he caves in and allows it, but if you try to leave he's thrilled. This is for the best he says, you don't deserve this facade from me he says.

"I don't know how to be with someone even if I want to. I want this to be real but I don't know what real is. I need to not have sex right now"

In act 2, if you break up with him, he agrees with you. He thinks it's the right thing for you because hes not ready. He won't say this unless you initiate a break up but how could he possibly let go of the best thing that's happened to him in his entire undead life? He wouldn't toss out the treasure of you even if he didn't feel ready.

It really does take a patient, calm, supportive Tav to get him in the end, and he DOES want you, I'm not arguing that

I'm arguing that that man is not ready for a committed relationship, doesn't know what a healthy relationship looks like, and in an ideal situation if he thought he had time and options in his life and if he felt safe he would have focused 100% on himself first for a VERY long time.

The tadpoles, the adventure, the pressures of the battles, the fighting the revenge the ascension and the ritual he has to fight or succumb to the fact that the sunlight is gonna nerf him again- all of this contributes to the perfect scene where Tav gets him right "out the gate", first by being a mark and a target and then by simply *not breaking it off with him*

And yes he's in love to the best of his ability to know what love is at this point

And yes he wants you very much

But the man is going through the biggest whiplash of his life and I can say with confidence that he's not... *Ready*. And after all is said and done, Tav will have to continue to be patient with many things with him. There are still a lot of hurdles. He may be with them for a long time before he wakes up one day and realizes, really really realizes, that he's ready.

The power dynamics are off, they're imbalanced. How could he say no to a perfect mark that gives him everything ? Blood, sex, waits when sex is off the table, never breaks up with him never leaves no matter how he rails against them? He can't. He won't, and he doesn't want to, but that doesnt make him emotionally ready for what a genuine relationship is.

He has to learn it, with you, over time, but I don't think he'd jump into learning that and going for it and seeing it as worth it if the situation were in any way different

Without the perfect storm of events, I don't see Astarion jumping into "commited relationship" to be clear, I'm not saying that he isn't capable of feelings or doesn't want tav it's just

It doesn't *seem* to match his character or his struggles to me. For a man that is completely self serving, he accidentally catches feels and then doesn't have the strength to cut you loose even though his act 2 confession is practically him asking you to leave him. If you take the Araj route in particular, he VERY plainly lays his shitty behaviour on the table as if daring you to punish him for it... Or maybe just expecting.

In his spontaneous scene it's softer, it's I love you but I don't know how to do this. And still if you say "I don't think you're ready to be in a relationship" he immediately agrees. In act 3, if you've stuck to him the whole time like glue, he never wants to let you go. Again, I think this level of connection is impossibly rare and everything had to happen as it did to get you there, but the power balance is off still. He says partner, equal, and he wants that. And he WILL get there

But he not only has to struggle with his past, his issues, his trauma, he has to struggle with the power imabalance that you're his Savior. YOU defeated Cazador. YOU protected him in camp and didn't stake him on sight. YOU fed him from thinking creatures for the first time. YOU are one of "a very few select people" who have had sex with him and not been slaughtered immediately afterwards.

You're everything to him

And by the end of the game you already see him trying to shift that power imabalance because HE SEES IT. If you say you'll protect him he WINCES and disagrees, he doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be below you, but he sees himself that way anyway. And to me, that's the sign that he wasn't ready, he still isn't ready,

But he will be, one day. And I think that makes it a better written romance than thousands I've read, because it's not perfect. There's grey areas. There's things that can make you uncomfortable. There's parts of it that aren't healthy and won't be for a while. Who knows how long until he feels like he's your equal? Until he feels like this relationship is something he ever would have chosen if things were different?

But he does choose you. He does. He wants you. He'd just never have gotten the chance to if it hadn't been "right place right time" imho

[scribbledghost]

Simon "Ghost" Riley SFW Alphabet

Because I've seen some NSFW Alphabets floating around, but not a SFW one. And I wanted to do some more character study on him.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

This heavily depends on the setting. Out in public, he's not particularly affectionate at all beyond maybe a hand on your lower back to guide you somewhere or a hand in yours if you're sitting next to each other. But when you're home alone? He's a Koala Man. Loves laying with his head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. 100% does that thing where he'll stand next to you while you're doing something and keep a hand in your back pocket. Also I love the idea that if you're shorter than him, he loves it when you sort of lean back on him so he can rest his chin on your head.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

The friendship starts. Reluctantly lmao. I can see it going one of two ways: either 1. It's an "Extrovert adopts the introvert without said introvert providing any input" situation, or 2. You just sort of sit in his proximity quietly for long enough and afterwards he's like "yes they are my best friend. No we have not spoken more than 5 words to each other." But, like in a romantic relationship, he's fiercely loyal. Ride or die. He wants his friends safe. Very good at giving advice, but does not sugar coat anything. If you're being a dumbass, he'll tell you.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

For the most part, yes. Sometimes he gets into certain moods where he doesn't really want to be touched, but those are fairly rare and usually triggered by some sort of outside event. And again, he doesn't cuddle unless it's just the two of you (he may put an arm around you when the rest of the team is there, but he won't fully wrap you up). The way he cuddles is... encompassing lol. That's the only way I can describe it. He likes having his arms wrapped around you, likes having you close to him. Being a giant weighted blanket for you is good too. In a way, having you near is soothing for him. He knows you're there, he knows he's got you, and he knows your safe.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I imagine he would like to settle down, but at first the idea of being so close and vulnerable with someone else spooks him. Once he comes around to the idea though, and once someone manages to break through his emotional defenses, he's down for it. Probably likes to imagine a nice house with a yard and a dog, though honestly he's okay with a simple apartment/flat too, as long as he's with the right person. He's very good at cleaning, the military and him living alone for so long made sure of that. Cooking though... he's decent. Don't expect gourmet, but he knows a thing or two. Cannot bake to save his life though. If it's anything more complicated than what comes in a box with instructions, he's hopeless.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Quickly and efficiently. He doesn't see any reason to drag things out or beat around the bush about it. And he's not the type to do the whole "break-up-make-up" thing, either. You get one breakup with Simon, that's it. He won't give an opportunity for there to be another. He'll tell you that you need to have a conversation, say that it isn't working out, and that he wishes you the best. Done and done. If you really poke and prod him about it, he'll give you specifics as to why it didn't work, but don't expect him to sugarcoat it.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Here's the way I see it: he wants it. Badly. He wants the ring on your finger and the exclusivity and the legal status of it (particularly so you could be taken care of if something were to ever happen to him in the field). But he's terrified of it. He's terrified of turning into his father, terrified of recreating the cycle he grew up in. If you really, really want marriage, he'll work on coming around to it, but if you're ambivalent towards it or don't want it, he's absolutely fine with that. As for how soon he'd want it, I'd say a few years minimum. He probably starts thinking about it much, much sooner, but it takes those several years for him to work through his own feelings on it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He's incredibly, incredibly gentle physically. Out in the field, he's a machine, and a very efficient one at that, but he doesn't want to be that way at home. One of his biggest fears is accidentally hurting you. He's witnessed so much violence through his life that he refuses to continue it if he can help it (military job notwithstanding). As for emotionally, he's a bit less gentle, but that doesn't mean he's cruel by any means. Just a bit more blunt and to the point. The only time he's particularly harsh is when he's been tipped over the edge after a lot of pushing, or if something happens to scare him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

From you? He loves them. From anyone else? Hard no. He has no problem with you hugging him as often as you want, though he won't really return them much unless it's just the two of you or only the team around (exceptions are made if he catches someone looking a bit too closely at you). When you're alone, he's hugging you all the time. Especially from behind. His hugs are very warm, and they have a tendency to make you feel safe and secure. Also the type to give that intermittent squeeze while hugging you, the kind that sort of squishes you a little bit.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He doesn't lmao. Straight up Does Not. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you - he does. He just... really dislikes using that phrase to say as much. He finds it overused and diluted. He much prefers to tell you in other ways, like telling you that you mean the world to him, or reminding you that you're everything to him. Plus, to give credit where credit is due, his go-to pet name for you is "love". He uses it more than your actual name. There are a couple of certain, very specific scenarios in which he will actually say the words "I love you", but quite frankly they're not scenarios that either of you want to be in.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

I don't know if I'd say he gets "jealous" so much as "protective". He does tend to feel some type of way if he catches someone getting a bit too close (be it staring too much, getting handsy, etc), especially if he can tell it's making you uncomfortable. This is usually when his reservations on PDA sort of go out the window. If someone starts encroaching, he'll crowd into your space, put his arms around you, press a kiss to your cheek through his mask. Those sorts of things. Or he'll just straight-up menace the offending party and tell them to get lost and that you're not interested. Whether or not his threatening aura goes too far depends mostly on your definition.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Most of the time, they're very soft. He doesn't get too wild with them unless he's been gone for a while or he's particularly riled up. He does like to tease by kissing you with the mask still on though (and it was how your first kiss went - he pressed his mask to your cheek). Once you're more established, he likes to lift the mask to kiss your lips and shoulders specifically, though he frequently kisses your temple and forehead as well. As for him, he has a particular weakness for you kissing his knuckles for some reason. He isn't sure why. Though of course, he'll never deny you if you want to press a kiss to his lips.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He's very, very gentle with them. He knows he's prone to scaring children, especially the younger ones, but he does his best to mitigate that by speaking softly and making himself seem smaller. Definitely feels guilty when he accidentally makes one of them cry (Unfortunately, this happens frequently with babies. Big Man In A Mask can be scary). He'll play with them if they ask, pick them up if they want, etc. For some reason, while he tends to make infants cry, he seems to be a magnet for toddlers. It's like they look at him and see a free jungle gym.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Truthfully, when he's at home, he likes to take his time. He's awake at the crack of dawn, just because he's used to military wakeup times by now. But he by no means gets out of bed when he wakes up, especially when you're with him. Prefers to lie in as long as you'll let him, and by that I mean he prefers to lie there as long as you'll let him hold you. Kinda cranky in the mornings tbh. Doesn't like waking up to a lot of sound or action around him. He does that enough when he's on the job, he'd prefer to avoid it when he's home.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Tries to keep a decent routine so his schedule doesn't get too far out of whack. Doesn't eat past a certain time, and enjoys unwinding about an hour or so before bed with a book or quiet conversation. He won't force you to adhere to the same bedtime he has, but he will readily admit that it's harder for him to fall asleep when you're not there with him. An absolute sucker for spending some time with his head on your chest, bonus points if you sort of massage his scalp at the same time. However, when it comes to actually sleeping, he prefers to be the big spoon.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Gonna have to have an ungodly amount of patience and wait for his level 10 friendship for this one lmfao. Even then, there's certain things that he simply will never tell you. He will never go into particular detail about his upbringing, aside from letting you know his father was a rat bastard who's better off in the ground. He doesn't give you details about his work, though that is purely for your safety. After enough time (and I mean ENOUGH time), he'll tell you about his mother and brother, and even then, he doesn't really talk about their fates other than something along the lines of "they got hurt because of me".

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

I headcanon that he's actually peeved sort of easily, but it takes a lot for him to show it. And even then, he does his best to keep a very tight leash on it. The most he usually does is get quiet and broody. I do believe that he absolutely does not yell, though. Not in anger. He'll quietly seethe, but he does not raise his voice. He may sort of slam a hand or fist down on a nearby surface if he's really ticked and not thinking clearly, but even then he immediately regrets it. And absolutely, 100% never raises a hand towards you. Ever. The idea of you ever being afraid of him for any reason absolutely destroys him.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

His memory is, for the most part, very sharp. Dates for things like anniversaries are always remembered. He may not remember every little detail you mention in passing, but he remembers the important things. If you offhandedly mention needing something bought or done, he's on it. And if you mention anything about your past or who/how you are as a person, he definitely remembers that as well. But if you offhandedly mention you have an appointment or something the following week, he may or may not remember by the time it rolls around.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time he let you take off his mask. You'd seen each half of his face separately (aside from his nose, somehow - that seemed to always be covered no matter what), but you had yet to see his entire face at the same time. He remembers gently taking your hands and putting them at the bottom of his mask, telling you quietly that you could remove it. He still remembers how slowly you did so - as if you were waiting for him to change his mind. And he will always remember how you softly called him beautiful once the mask was off.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

VERY PROTECTIVE. Woof woof bark bark scary dog privileges etc. To be honest, his menacing aura is enough to deter any would-be offenders 90% of the time. A stern look from him is usually enough to scare people away. But if they're more bold (or stupid), he has no problem lowering his voice and issuing thinly-veiled threats. If the time ever comes that he needs to physically protect you from an immediate danger, he can be a damn vision. Efficient, cold, calculated. Laser-focused on your safety and nothing else, consequences be damned. Quite frankly, there are few places on the planet that you'd be safer than with Simon Riley.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts in as much effort as he can. He knows he's away a lot, and he does his best to make up for that when he's at home. Granted, he doesn't "nail it" every single time, simply because he's... not used to this. Sometimes he forgets certain things (not dates, but perhaps small details), but it's not often. But he truly, genuinely tries his best, and it really is obvious. His love language is acts of service, so everyday tasks are his wheelhouse when he's around. You can usually count on coming home from work to a tidy home, dinner on the stove, and a kiss to your temple as he asks if you'd like for him to run you a bath or shower.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Actual habits? Probably smoking and drinking. Also probably doesn't wash his masks as often as he should, so. Don't put your nose too close to them for an extended period of time. He's just nose-blind to it at this point. For ugly behaviors, I can see him having to keep a very close eye on his possessiveness. Any time you go out without him, he has to restrain himself from sticking a GPS tracker on your car or in your pocket. Any time you introduce him to friends or family, he's subconsciously analyzing them to see if they're a threat. He doesn't mean to, and he feels guilty once he realizes what he's doing, but it's an innate behavior at this point. But, if left unchecked, he could definitely become overprotective to a toxic degree.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not particularly. He knows he's attractive, but he doesn't really do anything to draw attention to it or maintain it. Most of his face is hidden the vast majority of the time, anyway. He does work out on the regular, though this is more to keep him fit in the field than for vanity's sake. He does tend to shave daily and keep his hair trimmed neat, but again, that's mostly because it would make the mask more uncomfortable otherwise. (I do headcanon that he likes to exaggerate his vanity around his partner though. Just to see if he can fluster them lol).

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

At first? Not really. He's an independent loner who hesitates when having to rely on others. But once you worm your way into his heart and really get to know him? Once he really lets you in? He doesn't really know how to exist without you anymore. You don't have to be right next to him all the time, but once he's yours, he doesn't know any other way to be anymore. It's like you're a part of him then, like you've made a home in his ribcage and if you were to leave (or, heaven forbid, be taken from him), you'd take a massive part of him with you. He feels like he'd turn into a hollowed out shell of himself if he lost you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

You see parts of his face separately long before you see his face in its entirety. First, it's just his eyes. Then, maybe his hair when he only wears a standard facemask. At one point you spot his mouth when he lifts his balaclava up so he can take a drink or smoke (or so he can kiss you). Letting you see his face - his entire face, all at once - is a big deal for Simon. It's something he doesn't give to everyone. In fact, he doesn't really give it to anyone. The only people who have seen it in recent years are certain medics, his team, and you.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He wouldn't like a partner who is... too pushy? idk how to put it. But don't come into the relationship thinking you can fix him or change him. Simon knows he carries more baggage than a metropolitan airport. He's aware. He'll start working through it when he's good and ready, and not a second sooner. Try and force him on that front, and you'll quickly push him away. I also headcanon that he wants nothing to do with someone who's quick to be outwardly angry. If you're the type who yells easily, stomps around, slams doors, etc, then it's absolutely not gonna work out.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He sleeps very lightly. He's awake at the smallest jolt of movement. Also a very quiet sleeper. To the point where sometimes you have to watch for the rise and fall of his chest because you start to worry he's not breathing. In addition: it takes a lot of trust for him to fall asleep around you. He's definitely not the type to doze off around strangers. Because of this, he tends to take most night watches when out in the field until he gets so exhausted he can't fight the sleep anymore. But once he's home with you and you're with him, he's out like a light.

[mrsshabana]

𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞

ꔫ‧₊ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, age difference, angst, fluff, daddy issues, mommy issues, modern au ꔫ‧₊ Note 5k words. I want to thank everyone who was so excited for this fic, your kind words really encouraged me to write so much! I hope you enjoy it and keep an eye out for chapter two ♡

This is the most exciting thing that’s happened in Gyutaro’s pathetic life since his sister was accepted into college. 

His life is nothing special really, and it never has been. Always taking care of his little sister was his number one priority so his needs and wants were always put on the back burner. Not like he had much of a choice anyway. With a face like that, how are you supposed to get anywhere in life? He’s thirty-five and has never had a romantic partner, but no surprise there. His personality is unpleasant and he doesn’t have much going for him. His job is alright and he can afford to support himself and his sister but that’s about it. 

By now he’s come to accept the fact that some things just aren’t in the cards for him. Things like a wife and maybe even kids. As he got older he found himself longing for these things more and more. Especially when he witnessed all of his friends getting married and starting families of their own. But now at his age, no woman would want to get with him, let alone start a family.

At first, he was mad at the world and everyone in it. It wasn’t fair that he was denied love just because he had a few spots on his face, crooked teeth, and was a bit rough around the edges. The jealousy and anger ate at him for many years, causing his personality to become bitter and cold. On the outside, he seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t care about love, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Since he grew up without receiving any love from his mother, it was always something that he craved, even as an adult.

But he grew up, and he had no choice but to realize this was his reality and there was no changing it. It was hard to accept, but he’s finally come to peace with it. At least he has Ume, and honestly, he’s grateful for that. 

But now, you came into his life and things are beginning to take an interesting turn. 

You’re Ume’s friend from college, she’s a year older than you but you got to know her well in one of your math classes. Ume hates math so she waited until her senior year to take it, which she is starting to regret now. The only upside to the situation is that she met you.

Having gotten pretty close to Ume over the course of the semester, she would often invite you over to her place. You’ve heard her talk about her brother before but you had never met him since he was usually at work when you came over. But when you saw him for the first time, he wasn’t what you had expected. He looked a lot different than the image you had in your mind and he was a lot less friendly than Ume had described him. But even though most of the time he was in a bad mood, he’d be polite to you for the brief moments he was around. 

The first thing you noticed about him was how tall he was and how deep and raspy his voice sounded. It was oddly attractive, especially when paired with his messy black hair. You knew he was older than Ume but he didn’t look that old. The only thing that maybe signified his age were the dark circles around his eyes, probably from being overworked. 

Gyutaro never expected to get close to his little sister’s best friend. It’s something he never would have considered, but your actions are causing him to rethink his stance on your almost nonexistent relationship.

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

One night you’re studying over at Ume’s place again. The two of you sit in the dining room, with notebooks, pens, and textbooks spread across the table. Midterms are coming up so you’re trying really hard to get some studying done. Even though Ume keeps getting distracted and scrolling through TikTok.

You’ve almost lost your sanity with this study session when you hear the front door unlocking. 

Gyutaro, looking as tired as usual, walks into the house. Kicking off his shoes and throwing his bag on the floor. He barely even acknowledges you as he walks past saying, “Girls, can you please clean the table.”

“Mm hm,” Ume hums as she continues looking at her phone screen. 

He knows she isn’t going to do as he asks, but he always asks anyway. Today has been a long day and Gyutaro just wishes he could go to sleep but he knows he has a household to take care of. So he hurriedly rushes over to the bathroom and takes a quick shower. Coming out with messy damp hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. He goes straight to his bedroom, but you manage to catch a glimpse of him through the hall. 

The way his long hair sticks to his muscled shoulders and back distracts you. And even after he’s gone from your sight, the heavenly image is still stuck in your mind. 

“Will I ever get a break?” he thinks to himself as he puts on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, “As soon as I’m done cooking I’m passing out.” It’s only 8 pm but after another overtime shift, he’s pooped. Ume’s lucky he loves her so much, or else he would just make her eat a Lean Cuisine for dinner.

He doesn’t even bother to brush his hair and just heads straight towards the kitchen. But on his way, he’s met with something that surprises him. 

“You actually cleaned the table?” he says in shock.

“No, she did,” Ume points to you without even looking up from her phone. 

Gyutaro scowls and hits Ume in the back of the head with a rolled-up newspaper, “What’s the matter with you? It’s rude to make your guest clean!”

“Hey!! Cut it out!! I didn’t tell her to, she did it on her own!” Ume whines.

“Still, you should have cleaned it yourself,” he grumbles and throws the newspaper to the side, “Y/N, I’m sorry. Please stay for dinner, that’s the least I could offer you for helping my sister since she’s too lazy to do anything on her own.”

“No no, it’s ok! I don’t want to put more work on your plate -”

“I insist,” he smiles and begins preparing the ingredients. 

Ume pays no attention to the matter, as you admire her brother while he works away in the kitchen. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, he takes a sip and sighs before he begins washing some vegetables. 

You sit there and stare at his muscles, admiring the way they move along with noticing the tattoo on his upper arm. The way his hair falls in his face, and he tries to push it away with his wrist while his hands hold ingredients. 

This is something you’ve never had before. A man who takes care of you. It’s something new for you, and quite frankly you’re a bit jealous of Ume. It must be nice to have someone who takes care of her like Gyutaro does. Especially since your father was never around, it feels comforting being in this kind of atmosphere with Gyutaro and his sister. 

The loud clattering of metal hitting the floor snaps you out of the trance you were in. It seems that Gyutaro dropped a knife because he had almost fallen asleep. You can see his eyes closing slowly as he shakes his head in an attempt to wake himself up. Even though you barely know him, the sight makes you feel bad for him. He must be so exhausted, yet he’s determined to make dinner for his little sister. 

“Hey, do you need any help?” you ask as you walk into the kitchen. 

“N-no, thank you though.” He tries to brush you off and continue cooking but you stop him, grabbing his wrist and taking the utensils out of his hand. “It’s ok really, you seem exhausted. Plus I like cooking so it’s no biggie!” You smile and try to lead him away from the kitchen.

“What? No! You’re our guest it’d be rud-”

“Onii-chan just let her do it! She’s offering, stop being so stubborn!” Ume chimes in.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re a bad host. You’ve been nothing but welcoming to me, I just want to help out,” you lead him over to the couch and force him to sit down, “Everyone deserves a break once in a while.”

“But I-” his sentence trails off as he watches you walk away, not giving him any say in the matter. He feels incredibly guilty for letting you cook. But his body is too tired to fight it, and you no longer hear any complaints from him.

Looking around the kitchen you scan what Gyutaro had set up. There’s a pot of boiling water on the stove, a pan with oil in it, some half-cut tomatoes, a box of pasta, and an unopened package of meat. You can only assume that he was trying to make spaghetti. Luckily for you, it’s easy enough and something you’ve made countless times before. 

After about 30 minutes you have all of the food prepared. You make a plate for yourself, Ume, and Gyutaro. 

“Thanks, Y/N!” Ume exclaims as she finally puts down her phone and takes her plate. 

Next, you walk over to Gyutaro to give him his food, but he’s already passed out on the couch. The bottle of beer still in his hand, half full. 

“Poor thing,” you whisper to yourself, “Guess it’ll just be Ume and I for now.” You take the plate to the table and eat with Ume, opting that it’s probably best to let Gyutaro sleep. 

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

His stomach rumbles and his eyes are heavy as he slowly opens them, looking around at his surroundings. Confused for a moment as he forgot where he was. The living room is dark and quiet and he can’t quite remember why or how he fell asleep here. 

But then he looks over at the coffee table and remembers everything. His bottle is placed aptly beside a plate full of delicious looking pasta. Neatly wrapped in plastic wrap with a note reading, Enjoy! :)

“No way,” he mumbles as he tears off the plastic and begins to dig in. His eyes roll to the back of his head when the delicious food hits his tongue. Things taste so much better when someone else makes them. And honestly, he can’t recall how many years it’s been since someone has cooked him a meal. Five? Possibly ten? Either way, he savors the moment.

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

That meal has been on Gyutaro’s mind for days now. Never forgetting the taste and the gratifying feeling of eating a meal that was carefully prepared by someone else. It was amazing. And you’ve been on his mind ever since that night.

He told Ume to thank you since he didn’t have your number, and he really hopes she actually did it and didn’t just blow him off like she usually does.

As he drives home from work he can’t help but think of how nice it would be to come home to one of your home-cooked meals. It’s become a fantasy of his to imagine this on his drives home after a long shift. The thought brings him some comfort even though he knows it will never become a reality.

And just as he was driving through downtown he saw someone familiar. It was you, standing beneath one of the street lights as a strange man loomed over you. He appeared to be talking to you, but your body language looked as if you were very uncomfortable with the situation. 

The strange man appeared to be around Gyutaro’s age and all he could think was, “C’mon man, you’re too old to be doing this shit to a young girl. You should know better.” He rolls his eyes and pulls over next to the sidewalk. 

With a deep, tired sigh, he gets out of the car and yells, “Hey Y/N! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” 

At first, the sudden voice calling out to you startles you, but as soon as you see that it’s Ume’s brother you feel like you’ve been saved. The strange man looks over at Gyutaro too, giving him a confused look.

“We’re gonna be late for that movie,” Gyutaro smiles as if everything is normal and walks up to you, “Oh, who’s this? Do I know this guy?”

“Uh n-no, I don’t think you know him,” you say nervously. 

Gyutaro nods and takes your hand, “Sorry man, but we gotta go. We’re gonna miss the premier if we don’t get going now.” 

The stranger seems convinced and walks off as Gyutaro leads you back to his car. Opening the door for you, as he watches the man walk away. Making sure he’s gone for good. 

You don’t hesitate to get into his car, a huge wave of relief washing over you once you’re safely inside. 

As soon as Gyutaro gets into the car he scolds you, “What the hell were you doing out here by yourself?” His eyes scan your form, and he notices you’re wearing a short dress.

“I was out with some friends,” you say shyly, “and I wanted to go home, but everyone else wanted to stay out…” 

He sighs and starts the car, “You can’t walk around like that, creepy guys are gonna flock towards you. It’s dangerous.”

“I know, I was so stupid for doing that… B-but thank you so much for helping me, Gyutaro! You really saved me there,” you feel tears well up in your eyes as you imagine what might have happened to you if Gyutaro never showed up. 

“Hey hey, it’s alright,” his expression softens, “You’re ok now, that’s all that matters. And from now on if you need a ride just call me, ok?”

“R-really? I don’t want to inconvenience you or anything…”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re Ume’s friend. I’d do it for Ume so I’d do it for you too. Besides, I work around here so it’s no big deal,” he smiles and hands you his phone so you can put your number in.

“Thanks. Ume’s really lucky to have a big brother like you,” you say as you finish creating your contact in his phone.

“I try my best I guess, heh if only Ume heard you say that. Anyway, where do you live?”

“Oh, right! It’s super close to here,” you type the directions into his phone navigation, “I really owe you for this, Gyutaro! What can I do to make it up to you?”

“Wh-what? No no no, you don’t have to do anything,” he gets a bit flustered as he begins driving towards your place. 

“Come on! You did so much for me, it’s the least I could do! Ooh, how about I cook something for you?” You raise your eyebrows and smile, trying to convince him. 

When he hears your plea, it’s like his prayers were answered. 

“... well, I can’t say no to that.”

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

The long-awaited day has finally come. The day that you will bring over some home-cooked meals to Gyutaro’s house. He’s been anticipating this ever since you promised it to him.

You come over holding tons of containers of food, much more than he had expected. 

“Woah, let me help you,” he says as he holds the front door open and takes one of the bags out of your hand.

“Ah, thanks. I didn’t realize how much food I made until I had to pack it all up,” you laugh and walk into his home. Placing the food on the table, you neatly snack boxes of prepared meals. 

“What’s all this?” he asks, a bit confused. He was expecting you to bring over a big container full of food, not a bunch of small ones. 

“I know you work a lot and stuff. So, I thought it’d be better if I packed everything up into individual meals so you can just grab them and take them to work. Less prep work for you. I hope that’s alright…”

Gyutaro is truly left speechless, unable to believe that you not only put so much effort into this but also so much consideration as well. Still in disbelief, he takes one of the neatly packed boxes and opens it up. Inside he’s met with a delicious meal separated neatly, and even a small dessert tucked into the side. The sight is beautiful, but the smell is what really makes him salivate. 

“Wow,” he smiles, “I-I don’t know what to say. This is amazing, thank you.” 

He begins to choke up. After so many years of taking care of his sister, always worrying about her needs, caring for her, stepping up and being that guardian that she needed, never once did someone stop to ask him what he wanted. Let alone go out of their way to take care of him. And for once, just once, he gets a taste of what it feels like to be cared for. Nurtured. And it’s a feeling he wishes he never had to let go of.

All of the emotions he’s kept in for so long finally pour out of him. Your kindness and consideration force his walls to crumble. And his eyes begin to water as he pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in an attempt to stop his tears. 

“Hey, are you alright?” You ask as you immediately notice that something isn’t right.

It takes him a moment to compose himself, “I-I’m ok,” he rasps, “Just… I really appreciate you doing this. It’s been so long since someone has done something for me…”

“Well, you deserve it,” you smile and try to comfort him by rubbing his back, “I can tell you work really hard. My mom is the same way. So I understand.”

“Thanks,” he smiles and quickly composes himself, “A-Anyway, I’m going to try one right now. It smells great.” He quickly tries to change the subject partially because he’s embarrassed, but also because he genuinely cannot wait to taste your cooking again.

The food still feels warm so he rushes into the kitchen to grab a fork, and he sits at the table and digs in. Immediately as the food hits his tongue he lets out a groan of satisfaction. 

“Mmph, ooh my god,” he says right before he shoves another spoonful into his mouth, “so good!”

“I’m glad you like it,” you smile and sit beside him at the table, “These recipes are super easy and budget-friendly, so I can give them to you if you want.”

“Please! Mmph, that’d be great,” he swallows another big bite, “Where’d you learn to cook so well?”

“I just learned over time. It’s always just been my mom and I, my dad was never around,” you sigh, “So I kinda had to learn how to take care of myself since my mom always had two jobs. I would always make food for us to ease her workload. And I’ve always enjoyed cooking so I never minded.”

“Wait, for real?” he looks surprised, “My mom was never around! Man, it fucking sucks doesn’t it?”

“So you understand how I feel!” you smile despite talking about something upsetting, “So, your dad was the one that raised you?”

“Basically,” he nods as he licks his fork clean, “My mom wouldn’t let my dad come around much, even though she wasn’t around much herself. I was pretty much on my own till my mom  died and my dad took us in.”

Watching him talk about his past, you get the impression that it’s something he doesn’t often talk about. His body language alone is enough to tell you that. But the two of you feel some type of connection having shared a similar childhood experience.

“Your dad sounds like a good man,” you smile, “I think he’d be very proud of you.”

He looks up at you, his eyes shining with a mixture of sadness and appreciation. “Thanks… he really was the best. But sometimes I just wish I could have had a normal family.”

“Yeah I totally get it,” you sigh, “That’s why I always told myself I’d try to give my future kid the best life I can.  I want to give them the childhood I never had…” You trail off, thinking about the future you hope will become a reality one day. 

“Exactly!” he shouts, “That’s exactly what I told myself too! I always wanted a family so I could do things right.”

He seems excited at first but his expression quickly shifts to one of sadness. 

“But it’s too late for me to have a family,” he continues, looking down as he opens up about one of his biggest failures, “Oh well, if Ume ever has kids I’ll just try to be the best uncle I can.”

“Why would you say it’s too late?” you tilt your head to the side, confused.”

“Y/N, I’m thirty-five years old. I’m too old to start a family… Besides most women my age are done having kids. Not that any woman would want to be with me anyways.” He frowns, being reminded of how he failed to fulfill one of the only dreams he’s ever had. 

“Why not just start a family with a young girl, like me?” You ask without completely realizing what you’re saying. 

“Wh-what?” his eyes widen, completely taken aback by your statement. Could you be insinuating what he thinks you’re insinuating? He’s not sure whether you’re just naive or completely delusional. 

“W-Well um,” you blush as you begin to realize what you’ve said, “I think you’re a really great guy. Any woman would be lucky to-”

“Get out,” he cuts you off. 

“I’m sorry-”

“GET OUT!” He raises his voice, striking fear into you to the point where you feel your eyes begin to water. 

You feel utterly embarrassed and ashamed. Just when you were starting to get close to him too, you had to say something stupid to ruin it all. Honestly, you have no idea what you were thinking. You will admit you did have a crush on him, so maybe your heart just got excited and took a risky leap of faith. But unfortunately for you, it backfired. 

Without another word you rush out of his house as fast as you can, balling your eyes out. 

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚. 

It’s been a few days, and Gyutaro has been ignoring your texts. They stopped coming after that first day, and even though he didn’t respond he still read them. Reading your apologies over and over. He couldn’t get the situation out of his head no matter how hard he tried. So he decided maybe he needed an outside opinion. 

He finds himself sitting at a bar, drinking a beer. Rubbing his rough hand across the stubble that’s grown on his face as he’s been too stressed lately to bother shaving. Honestly, he looks pretty rough. He’s caught up in his self-sabotaging thoughts when he hears a familiar voice call out to him.

“Gyutaro! How’ve you been, man?”

He turns around with a smile on his face, “Hey Kai, what’s up?” He stands and gives his best friend a side hug. 

“Gyutarooooo, do I get a hug too?” an annoying voice chimes, a voice that instantly gives Gyutaro a headache. This voice could only belong to one person. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I invited him too,” Kaigaku laughs nervously.

“Douma…” Gyutaro deadpans.

“What? Aren’t you happy to see me?” Douma smiles wide, giving Gyutaro a one-sided hug. “So, spill the details! Kai said you had some juicy gossip to talk about!” He says as he sits beside him at the bar, placing his hand under his chin and batting his long eyelashes. 

Kaigaku takes a seat on the other side of Gyutaro and mumbles, “Maybe this was a mistake.”

“It’s fine,” Gyutaro sighs and takes a drink from his bottle, “I really just wanted some advice. Just promise you won’t make it weird.”

“When do I ever make things weird?” Douma asks. 

Gyutaro just stares at him, thinking of all of the times he has indeed made things weird. 

“Come on man, just spit it out already!” Kaigaku nudges his shoulder. 

Gyutaro groans and slumps over in his seat, “Alright alright. So, there’s this girl-”

“A girl?!” Both of his friends say in unison. 

“Shut up!” Gyutaro growls, knowing exactly why his friends are so shocked. Because out of all of the years they’ve known him, he’s never once brought up a girl. 

“Anyway,” he continues, “There’s a girl I kind of like… she’s really sweet and we have a lot in common but…” he trails off, hesitant to tell them the truth, “She’s only twenty-one…”

Kaigaku chokes on his drink.

“I don’t see an issue,” Douma says, genuinely confused.

“Of course, you don’t,” Gyutaro mumbles under his breath. 

“How the hell did you get into this situation?” Kaigaku coughs.

“It wasn’t on purpose! I didn’t pursue her at all!” Gyutaro scowls, “Listen, she’s one of Ume’s friends. She comes over a lot and she’s been really nice to me. She even cooked a bunch of meals for me too…”

“And? Spill it, Shabana!” Douma pouts, getting impatient. 

“AND, we were talking about what we want for our future. I told her I wanted a family one day but I’m too old… and she said why don’t I have a family with a young girl like her. I immediately told her to leave. I’m starting to think maybe I overreacted…”

“Well, girls that age are very fertile!” Douma chimes as if his statement was completely innocent.

“STOP!” Gyutaro shouts, “That’s fucking weird, man! Don’t say it like that!” 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have invited him…” Kaigaku mumbles. 

“Hey, it’s true! I am a gynecologist after all, it’s just medical facts! And she’s right, having children with someone your age will be much more difficult and there could be complications!” Douma asserts confidently.

“The fact that you’re a gynecologist disturbs me,” Kaigaku says. 

“Me too,” Gyutaro adds. 

“Come on guys! It’s not as weird as you think. Why would it be so wrong to date her?”

“For starters, she’s fourteen fucking years younger than me! That’d be creepy right…? I don’t want people thinking I’m a weirdo or a creep,” he frowns, starting to feel like maybe he is a creep for even considering something with you. 

Kaigaku takes a sip of his drink, thinking long and hard about what advice he should give his friend. Especially since Douma is useless. 

“I mean, it’s not that bad,” he shrugs, “At the end of the day you’re both consenting adults. And since when did you care about what other people think of you anyway?”

“You have a point,” Gyutaro replies, “But she should live her life instead of wasting her time with an old guy like me.”

“First of all you aren’t even that old,” Kai rolls his eyes, “And second of all, she’s an adult who is fully capable of making her own decisions. If she wants to be with you, then she wants it for a reason. Maybe she wants a guy who is at a more stable point in his life. Who knows?”

“Exactly, Kai’s right. I see age gaps much larger than this all the time, it’s more common than you think,” Douma adds. 

“And besides, it would only be creepy if you were talking to her when she was a minor,” Kaigaku states, “Like if you’re an adult talking to a minor, then wait till they’re an adult to pursue them romantically it’s a little creepy if you ask me. But you didn’t even know her at all until now. So don’t worry man. You aren’t creepy or weird for liking this girl.”

Gyutaro feels a wave of relief wash over him as he listens to his friend’s explanation. It's the first thing he’s heard that actually made him feel a bit better about the situation. “So, you really think it’s ok for me to pursue her?”

“Hell yeah! Be happy, man. I know you’re not the kind of guy to go after a girl just because she’s young. She sounds like a really nice girl, and I’m happy someone finally sees what a great guy you are.”

“Thanks, Kai,” Gyutaro smiles, “Alright, I guess I’ll go for it.”

Gyutaro feels a newfound confidence overtake him. His friends are right, he shouldn’t be so caught up in the details when the fact of the matter is that a really amazing woman is interested in him for the first time in his life. And he cannot let this opportunity slide, as it may be the last chance he has at happiness. 

“Who knows, maybe she’s one of my patients!” Douma chimes in out of nowhere.

“Shut up, Douma! God, I can’t take you anywhere!” Kai growls. 

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

That night you receive a text from Gyutaro, “Do you want to go to the botanical gardens with me this weekend?”

When you first read the text you had to pinch yourself in case you were dreaming. Why would he say that all of a sudden? Did he suddenly have a change of heart? Or maybe he’s inviting you out just so he can tell you off in person. 

You aren’t sure which one, but you’ve been so stressed over this situation that you’ll do anything to make up with him. So you hastily respond, “Yes! I’d love to :)”

Immediately you regret how eager you sound in the text, thinking that it might make Gyutaro think you're even more childish. But in reality it makes him smile knowing that someone is excited to see him for once.

“Ok. I’ll send you the details,” he responds a minute later.

Is this a date? That’s the only question that keeps replaying in your mind. A date with Gyutaro, your best friend’s older brother. The whole thing feels taboo, but you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t make you feel even more excited.

Taglist: @gyusimp @mistyychann @cherrysxuya @angelicsaiko @hoshigafuru @matsukaah @merryclaus @whisperhug97 @dawn-rays-dingo

(I tagged people who showed interest in my previous posts. If you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist just let me know. The next chapter will have smut so if you want to be tagged make sure you have your age listed on your blog ♡)

[missvelvetsstuff]

No Benefits

Bucky Barnes x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Sharon Carter

Summary: Reader and Bucky are best friends until a drunken hook up. Bucky wants a friends with benefits situation because he doesn't feel ready for a relationship but reader knows that will lead to a broken heart.

Then Sharon Carter comes to work with them.

Notes: Steve and Tony are around but retired, everything else is mostly canon

I try to keep my reader generic but as always she is female and taller than average.

I have to say I've been a bit overwhelmed at the response to this story, I hope I can live up to your expectations.

Chapter 2

Warnings: swearing, angst, a little dirty talk. Bucky's kind of an ass, Sharon is evil.

Cookie just stared at the pictures, heart racing, almost hyperventilating. She shook her head and looked at Nick Fury "This can't be right, can it? Sharon Carter can't be working against us, can she?"

Fury looked at her, concern evident on his face. "I'd like to think it's impossible but look at what happened with Hydra. We knew that Rumlow and the strike team were on our side and it turned out the entire operation had been rotten for decades."

Cookie tried to still her hands "B B But th this, this is different. Sh Sh Sha Sharon C C Carter. SHIELD founder P Peggy Carter's niece can't be the Power Broker." She felt her stomach drop and heart stop when it clicked "Oh god, no she can't but b b but Sam and" whispered "Bucky" the color left her face and she started pacing, bouncing until Nick snapped

"COOKIE!"

Y/N jumped and turned to face her boss "Yessir?"

Nick rubbed her arms "Calm down. You're no good to me like this. Barnes and Wilson are off site with Carter, right? Where are they, exactly?"

Cookie nodded "uh yeah they're um, wait let me see." She pulled her phone out "they should be, Latvia." She exhaled and it felt like she was deflating "Where my informant was killed last night."

Fury nodded "I doubt she wants to kill Wilson or Barnes so we just need to get this info to them. You'll probably have to wait until they come home."

Cookie shook her head "But what if she kidnaps them? What if they don't come back?"

Fury shook his head "We'll cross that bridge if we get to it. I need you to compile everything you have that's even vaguely related to the Power Broker and anything you can find about Carter's movements. Let's see if we can find more links between them." He looked at his watch

"I want you in my office for lunch and we'll go over everything you have." He looked her in the eyes "Alright, Cookie? I know you're concerned about your friends but we need to keep our minds clear and focused on the facts so that we can help keep them safe."

Cookie tried to blink the tears out of her eyes and nodded "Got it, boss." before hurrying to her office by way of the break room because coffee was a dire need at this point.

She made it to her office, closed the door so no one would disturb her, turned on her music and sat down to go through every bit of Intel she had that might offer any clues. There were stacks of correspondence and photos plus some undefined amount of info on a thumb drive that she needed to work through with the only other analysts she absolutely knew she could trust, Dylan and Iris. She had trained with them and came up through Quantico where Nick Fury personally headhunted them.

Cookie didn't want to take a chance by getting too many people involved in this, after the whole SHIELD/HYDRA debacle she kept a couple of people close and everyone else could wait outside her gates until they convinced her they were trustworthy. This was huge and had 2 Avengers directly in Sharon's line of fire so had to be handled carefully.

Cookie also knew that her frayed friendship with Bucky was going to make this even more complicated because Sharon could use that to discredit her so Bucky thinks Cookie is just trying to eliminate a romantic rival.

She shook her head, no time to get distracted by emotions, her friends were in danger and that had to remain her focus. By 1pm, Cookie had synced almost all of Sharon Carter's movements with the power broker. There was no doubt, it was definitely her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the other side of the world, Sam was fed up with his mission partners. Sharon rubbed him the wrong way and Bucky was too wrapped up in her to see anything but sex. Sam had a bad feeling about Sharon, she was constantly wandering off only to be found on her phone and the Power Broker seemed to get away right before they arrived, every single time.

He tried to talk to Bucky but he just laughed it off, explaining how impossible it was for a Carter to be the bad guy. "Sam you're being ridiculous and paranoid even for a spy. Sharon is just as frustrated with our lack of progress as we are. You know sometimes this is just a waiting game." He smirked at his friend "We could find you a nice girl to pass the time with."

Sam shook his head and scoffed "A nice girl? You mean like Cookie for instance, who wouldn't try to distract me with sex like yours is doing to you."

Bucky laughed "You jealous man? I'm just making up for lost time and Cookie didn't want me." His smile dropped as he thought of her.

Sam looked at Bucky with wide eyes "Cookie didn't want you? Now we both know that's not the truth, you just got scared of the idea of a real relationship and dropped her for your living cock sleeve. You're a dumbass, Barnes."

Sam's phone buzzed with a text and he smiled when he saw it was from Cookie. She always checked up to make sure they were eating and sleeping while in the field. He looked at his texts

*<3 BeSafe*CYA*

That caught his attention. CYA= Cover Your Ass. It was their code for trouble close by which meant she found something concerning but the problem was too close to say out loud.

Bucky tried to look over his shoulder "What's that? From Cookie? You fucking her?" His voice dropped and he looked angrily at the ground "I knew she would find someone better."

Sam looked at him with disgust "The fuck is wrong with you? The only reason she might find someone better is cuz you pushed her away when you should have held on tight because you're not gonna find another one like her."

He nodded towards the hall where Sharon had gone "That one is trouble. There's something not right about all this and the way she keeps dragging you off to the bedroom."

Bucky smirked "I can't help that she's insatiable. Don't want to disappoint."

Sharon was in the other room listening to their discussion, smiling at how easily Bucky stood up for her. It was simple enough to get his attention when she came back to work with SWORD and he did all the work pushing Cookie away with his guilt. She was confident that he would take her side if that analyst bitch got too close. Sam could be a problem but nothing she wasn't prepared to handle.

She used a burner phone to send a text to her associate, the Intel analyst in D.C. to let them know she would be returning stateside soon and everything was going according to plan.

In the morning Bucky woke up in bed with Sharon's head on his bare chest and groaned. The position he was in wasn't a concern but he didn't remember going to bed or the usual activities with Sharon that followed. He couldn't remember anything past his talk with Sam, about Cookie. He didn't remember eating but he must have since it had been almost lunch time when he spoke to Sam. If he hadn't eaten he would be famished by now.

He took a deep breath and tried to focus and see if he could find any memories but all he could add was Sharon coming into the room and pulling him into their bedroom.

He looked at his watch and counted hours, he had lost almost 18 hours and couldn't figure out what happened. This wasn't the first time he had lost time on this trip and he didn't like the feeling.

Sam was right, something was off.

Sharon started to stir against him "Hey baby, look who's up before me."

Bucky smiled "Mornin baby, you sleep ok? Did we have some fancy liquor last night? I can't remember a damn thing, not even fucking you for 2 hours and I'm sure I did that."

She whined "I'm that forgettable? I thought I made you feel good." and pouted, rubbing his growing cock to distract him.

He reached between her legs to find her ready "You're always so wet and ready for me sweetheart. Tell me what you need."

Sharon moaned "I need you to fuck me, Barnes. Hard and deep. Right now."

Bucky was only too happy to oblige, the lost time forgotten in their haze of lust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In her office Cookie and her crew worked well past lunchtime until an intern showed up from Nick's office to remind them of the passage of time.

Cookie put all of the papers and photos into a box since they hadn't had time to digitize it all and write up a comprehensive report. She went over every single detail with Nick and Maria to determine what should go in her report and which points to highlight for field agents.

The rest of the day and into the evening Cookie's team had everything organized and the details and evidence all written up in a 5 page report with back up documentation available in her files. She looked up when her phone buzzed to see it was Sam responding to her earlier text

*👍🐴☔*

She smiled knowing that Sam got it and would watch out for Bucky even if he was a dumbass.

Looking at her watch she saw it was almost midnight and noticed Iris trying to read her text before she quickly put her phone away. Iris and Dylan were her most trusted analysts but even they didn't need to know about her chatting with Sam.

She dismissed them so she could have a bit to herself to reply to Sam and include some details that they didn't have the clearance for.

A few days later when Sam, Bucky and Sharon arrived back home, Cookie was there to meet Sam and barely even acknowledged Bucky or Sharon which made Bucky act out, snapping at Sharon. Sharon was annoyed that he still cared about fucking Cookie, after all the work she had done to get him under control he was still pining for that stupid analyst. She knew something would need to be done about her soon.

Sam and Cookie walked arm in arm to medical to have him checked out, then to the common room when she had left some chili simmering for him plus fresh French bread. They took their lunch and went to his room to eat.

Cookie sat across from Sam while he talked about the mission until the food was gone and he stopped, just staring at her.

Cookie stared back "What?"

He looked at her sideways "First, I love you Cookie but you look like Hell. You're worried about me in the field but you're here looking like you haven't slept or had a decent meal in weeks."

She flinched before whispering "Closer to months."

"No, Cookie. Don't destroy yourself over a man that's too stupid to see what's right in front of him. We need you here. Nick fucking Fury insists you're the best intelligence analyst he's ever met. Ever. From the man who doesn't offer praise lightly.

I need you. I can't trust anyone else to lay all the intel out just so it flows for me. Or make sure I'm taken care of when I come back from a mission?

And his dumb ass might not know it or be willing to admit it but Barnes needs you too. He's in love with you, he just thinks he's being good and noble by pushing you away. And if he doesn't figure it out, there's plenty of other men and women that would jump at the chance to be with you. So take care of yourself."

Sam sighed "Second, I know you didn't send the CYA code for shits and giggles so tell me. What do you know?"

Cookie shifted uncomfortably "I want you to know this has nothing to do with their relationship, I didn't look to discredit her or hurt him but you know I have to follow the evidence where it leads me, without prejudice. You know I-"

Sam stopped her "I know you are impartial and I trust you and your conclusions so just spit it out and we'll go from there. Ok?"

Cookie nodded and took a deep breath before blurting out "Sharoncarteristhepowerbroker" then covering her mouth and looked at Sam with wide eyes.

Sam stopped and stared "Please tell me you didn't just say what I think you said. Tell me that she's-. Fuck." He shook his head "I know you have proof. Cookie, you have to tell Barnes."

She blinked rapidly trying to clear the tears that suddenly welled up in her eyes "Nononono, no I can't tell him. He will think I'm some disgruntled woman trying to hurt my rival. You have to tell him Sam he will never listen to me. Hell he hasn't even spoken to me outside of work ever since...."

Her eyes filled up and she tried to hold the tears back but she had been keeping it all in for so long.

Sam pulled her into his chest and sighed "Alright. Give me what you have, I'll talk to him tomorrow. And what's with all the containers of Cookies?"

Cookie shrugged "I was worried about you. Couldn't sleep. I made some of your favorites, the red velvet. The frosted ones are *special* to help you sleep."

Sam hugged Cookie and kissed her cheek "Alright babygirl, lay it out for me..." They spent the next hour going over everything she had before her eyes started drooping. "Okay Miss Cookie, go get some sleep and I'll see you at the debrief tomorrow."

Cookie gathered her paperwork and left Sam's room only to see Bucky in the kitchen. She didn't want to ignore him so nodded and grunted as she passed without slowing down. Bucky just watched her leave, wondering what she was doing in Sam's room so late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After their run the next morning Sam and Bucky sat down for coffee. Sharon told Bucky she wanted to sleep in so Sam figured now was the time.

Bucky started in on him before he even spoke "What's up with you and Cookie? You are fucking her aren't you? I saw her leave your room early this morning. Don't fucking lie to me jerk."

Sam brushed him off, "None of your damn business."

He tried to change the subject and explain about Sharon but Bucky didn't respond well

"What the fuck do you mean Sam? Sharon is not the goddamn power broker, that's ridiculous, her aunt was a founder of SHIELD. Where did you get your Intel from?" Sam looked at him pointedly, like there was any other person who Sam trusts completely.

Bucky shook his head angrily and stood up to head to Cookies office. "I can't believe you fell for it Sam. She's just trying to get Sharon back because she is with me. I turned her down for a relationship so she wants to hurt me back. Sharon warned me that she would try to pull something like this."

Sam stood up and grabbed Bucky's arm "Are you kidding me? You think Cookie would put her career and reputation on the line for petty jealousies? That she would ruin Sharon's reputation for revenge, over you? I guess you don't really know her after all." He shook his head "I'm disappointed in you man. I thought better of you. Good luck confronting Cookie, she's not interested in your shit."

Cookie was at her desk making packets with the Intel on the power broker for the top brass when Maria stopped by.

"Hows everything, Cookie? Got that power broker packet for me?"

Cookie nodded "It's right here." and reached out with a folder.

Maria noticed her hands "Cookie? What happened to your nails? When was the last time you had a mani-pedi? Is your girl sick?" She looked over Cookies hands in concern, she never missed her nail appointment.

Cookie shrugged "I don't know, I forgot. It's no big deal."

Maria looked closer "You look like Hell. Finish the packets up and take the afternoon off, you need-"

"Cookie!" Bucky roared as he came striding up to her office "What the Hell is this bullshit?"

Chapter 3

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