#incorrect assassination classroom

[jiangyanlissidepiece]

Karma: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Nagisa: Twelve, actually.

Karma: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Nagisa: Yours!

Karma: That's right: no one's.

[tuulikannel]

Nagisa: Why are you pouting? Karma: I’m not pouting, I’m brooding. That’s how sexy men pout.

Nagisa: What are you watching? Karma: Hockey. Nagisa: Didn’t know you liked hockey. Karma: I love hockey… except for those boring interludes where they skate around trying to hit the black thing. Nagisa: …you mean the puck? Karma: FIGHT, YOU TIME-WASTING FIGURE SKATERS, FIGHT!!

Nagisa: Are you frying marbles?! Karma: I’m testing to see if the smoke detector works. Karma: It doesn’t.

Nagisa: You didn’t happen to bring any tea, did you? Karma: *handing him a thermos* Cream and sugar. Nagisa: Thank you so much! *drinks* Nagisa: … Nagisa: Is this just cream and sugar? Karma: That’s what I said.

Karma: Hey! You can’t bully Nagisa! He’s in my class! Karma: Only I can pick on him!

Karma: I’m done being careful! Nagisa: You think you’ve been careful so far?

Nagisa: *worried* Do you think that maybe something’s happened to Karma? *loud cursing in the distance* Kayano: I believe he may have happened to someone.

Karma: Today I had 800mg of caffeine, exercised for two hours, ate literally 80 pizza rolls, and took a long, relaxing bath. Karma: The line between self-care and self-destruction is a fine one, but boy, do I ride it hard.

[kawaiigothsludgeperson]

one day after a lot of self work.

Gakushuu: the path to inner peace begins with four words

Gakushuu: not my fucking problem

[toorumochi]

Karma trying to confess his feelings for Gakushuu: like honestly- between you and I, like I just think that you and me- when we like- I think of us I feel like you know when the- when the uh- when the sun goes down it goes up. And I feel like- do you uh- do you understand what I’m saying?

Gakushuu in the passenger seat: …

[glitchy-anime-fan]

Things that have definitely been said by Karma & Asano in the Sibling Au, but it’s all incorrect quotes brought to you by this generator!

Karma: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!

Asano: Really? Name one law

Karma: Don't kill people?

Asano: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Karma: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Asano: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Karma: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Asano: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Karma: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

Karma: So that’s my plan.

Asano: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.

Karma: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Asano: It fucking sucks.

Karma: That’s not constructive criticism.

Karma: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Asano: I think you mean cards.

Karma, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

Asano: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Karma, drinking toast specifically to piss off Asano: Why do you say that?

~Right before they show Gakuho the DNA test~

Karma: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Asano: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

[incorrectanimequotes]

Karasuma: can we please pick up some food or something i havent eaten since 10

Rio: but sir i thought u were like... 28?

Karasuma:

[whyvapewhenucantape]

Incorrect Karashuu Quotes

Gakushuu: Did it hurt when you fell- Karma: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt- Gakushuu: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs. Karma: … Gakushuu: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Karma: I think we should kiss. Gakushuu: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.

Karma, throwing their head into Gakushuu's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Gakushuu, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Karma: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. Gakushuu: Aren't you forgetting something? Karma: Uuh…hesitantly kisses Gakushuu's forehead before running out. Gakushuu: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

Karma: My hands are cold. Gakushuu: Here, let me hold them. Karma: My lips are cold too. Gakushuu: covers Karma's mouth with their hand

Karma: Are we fighting or flirting? Gakushuu: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- Karma: Your point?

[timelykarmagisa]

karma: i know you think my judgement is clouded because i like nagisa a little bit

isogai: you doodled your wedding invitation

karma: that's our joint tombstone

isogai: my mistake

[nykie-love-anime]

Sentences

Y/N: Karma and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's... Karma: Sentences Y/N: - with a very serious look - Y/N: Do not interrupt me Karma: ... Y/N: And it's sandwiches

Masterlist

[bluetoraa]

incorrect quotes, karma akabane x reader

warnings!

—gn!reader

—swearing

y/n: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

karma: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

y/n: ...

y/n: You mean ring bearER, right?

karma: ...

y/n: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

y/n: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

karma: I wrote you a poem.

y/n, already crying: You did?

y/n: We’re getting married, bitches!

karma: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

karma, at y/n's funeral: I need a moment with them.

Everyone: Of course. (They leave)

karma, leaning over y/n′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

y/n: Yeah, no shit.

y/n: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag.

karma: way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

y/n: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

karma: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

y/n: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?

karma: y/n, it's four o'clock in the morning.

y/n: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

karma: I’m in love with you.

y/n: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, idiot.

karma: I know.

y/n: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

y/n: It’s not gonna work, I’m not a snitch.

Cop: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with.

y/n: Lmao, @/karma.

y/n: Hey, you want a tarot reading?

karma: Those are Pokemon cards.

y/n: You got a magikarp.

karma: ...?

y/n: It means 'fuck you'.

AUTHOR NOTES;

I DO NOT OWN THE DIVIDERS! ALL CREDITS GO TO “blackholemojis” ON TUMBLR!!!

anyways take this while i disappear for awhile lmfao

im travelling again and school sucks ass bc its fucking school man😭

anyways, i hope whoevers reading this has a great day/night! thank you for reading!

tue sept 27th, 2022. 11:28 PM

[cjs-51703]

Nagisa: This is such a bad idea...

Karma: Then why are you coming along?

Nagisa: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

[jiangyanlissidepiece]

Nagisa: So what do you do?

Karma: I work in genetic research, and I'm currently trying to eliminate all Cancers.

Nagisa: Wow, impressive.

Karma: Then I'll move on to Leos.

[tuulikannel]

I was bored and played around with the incorrect quote generator. The names I put in: Nagisa, Karma, Gakushuu. Some of these fit really well, some are pure crack. All pairings at least hinted at, I think XD

Nagisa: What do you think Karma will do for a distraction? Gakushuu: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. Building explodes and several car alarms go off Gakushuu: … or they could do that.

Nagisa: Hey, Karma? Can I get some dating advice? Karma: Just because I’m with Gakushuu doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

Nagisa: If Karma and I were drowning, who would you save? Gakushuu: You two can’t swim? Karma: It’s a hypothetical question, Gakushuu! who would you save? Gakushuu: My time and effort.

Nagisa, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Karma: You did WHAT– Gakushuu: William Snakepeare

Nagisa: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? Karma: The car takes a screenshot. Gakushuu: For the last time, get the fuck out.

Nagisa: Karma and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Gakushuu: Sighing What did Karma do? Nagisa: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and… Karma: Who wants a steering wheel?

Nagisa: Gakushuu and I are having a baby. Karma: That's gre- Nagisa, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

Nagisa: Karma, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Karma: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Nagisa: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Gakushuu.

Nagisa: What did you do with Gakushuu's body? Karma: What didn’t I do with the body? Nagisa: Karma: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

Nagisa: Are you sure this is the right direction? Karma: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest! Gakushuu: In that case, we're definitely lost.

Nagisa: Tell Karma about the birds and the bees. Gakushuu: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

Nagisa: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness. Karma: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you. Gakushuu: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

Nagisa, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing. Karma: Okay Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink? Nagisa: Orange soda, please! Karma: I'll have the strawberry soda. Gakushuu: Me too, strawberry soda. Nagisa:

Nagisa: HELP! I TOLD GAKUSHUU I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK! Karma, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Nagisa: If you had to choose between Karma and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Gakushuu: That depends, how much money are we taking about? Karma: Gakushuu! Nagisa: 63 cents. Gakushuu: I'll take the money. Karma: GAKUSHUU!!!

Nagisa: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Karma: The cow??? Nagisa: What? Gakushuu: Karma, W H Y?

Nagisa: I know you snuck out last night, Karma. Gakushuu: Play dumb! Karma: Who's Karma? Gakushuu: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

Nagisa: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Karma: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Nagisa: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Gakushuu: edible

Nagisa: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it Karma: Just rip the bandage off. Nagisa: It’s Gakushuu. Karma: Put the bandage back on.

[lucario765g]

Karma: Why are Sugino and Nagisa sitting with their backs to each other?

Kayano: They had a fight.

Karma: Then why are they holding hands?

Kayano: They get sad when they fight.

[toorumochi]

Do y’all think Gakushuu would read Dostoyevsky or Kafka cuz personally I’m a Dostoyevsky girl

[glitchy-anime-fan]

Sibling au Karma after finding out Gakuho is his bio dad: i went through an entire character arc during this ordeal

Sib!Karma: i became more evil if you’re curious

Nagisa: We’re still dealing with this, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!

Sib!Karma: i’m going to get worse on purpose