#incorrect nlom quotes

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Davari: Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free… starting right now

Tripitaka: I think you’re cocky, arrogant, bossy, and pushy. You also have a god complex and don’t think of anybody but yourself.

Davari: But--

Tripitaka: But what? I still have 22 seconds and I’m not done.

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Davari: You’re being dramatic.

Monkey: That’s really fucking rich coming from you.

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Davari: You’re pretty dumb

Monkey: Thank you.

Davari: Why are you thanking me? I just insulted you.

Monkey: All I heard was “you’re pretty.” I’m focusing on the positives of life.

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Tripitaka: Did it hurt?

Davari: Did what hurt?

Tripitaka: When you broke through Earth’s crust ascending from Hell.

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Tripitaka, watching someone do something insane: wow what an idiot.

Tripitaka, noticing it’s Monkey:

Tripitaka: Oh wait, that’s my idiot.

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Davari: hey so i’ve been a demon this whole time and i’m gonna mcfucking murder you lol

Monkey: you’re not you when you’re hungry

Monkey: *hands him a snickers*

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Sandy: You know, deers have one major design flaw. They can't walk on ice. That's dangerous. We should give the deer little ice cleats for their hooves.

Pigsy: Why would you want to weaponize deer?

Sandy: *mouthing* weaponize?

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Monkey and Tripitaka: *staring into each other’s eyes*

Pigsy: *opens a soda can*

Monkey: we’re having a moment.

Pigsy: I’m having a cola

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Gwen: How do you usually get out of these messes

Monkey: I don’t. I just make a bigger mess that cancels out the first one.

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Monkey: Guys, I’m so sorry, but I lost Tripi inside that crowd.

Pigsy and Sandy: How could you lose her!?

Monkey: Please give me a break. She’s like, two inches tall.

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Monica: Would you like it rare, medium, or well done?

Monkey: What do you mean well done? Does anyone want it badly done?

Tripitaka: No, Monkey

Monkey: Of course, I’d like it well done. In fact, I want it excellently done!

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Davari: I just kinda feel like we were meant to be together. I mean look at how fate keeps throwing us at each other.

Monkey:

Monkey: It’s 3 am and you’re stuck in my window.

Monkey: How did you even get there??

Davari: Fate, Monkey, weren’t you listening?

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Monkey: Who ate my leftover pizza?

Monkey: WHOEVER IT WAS, I WILL-

Tripitaka: I ate it.

Monkey: -buy you a whole pizza because you deserve it.

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Pigsy: Sandy, how was your morning?

Sandy: Tripitaka asked me how I slept and I couldn’t decide whether to say “good” or “okay” so I said gay

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Sandy, to Monkey after he’s made a mistake: It’s going to be fine, Monkey. She’s not going to be *that* mad.

Tripitaka, finding out: [infuriated] SON OF A BITCH!

[incorrect-nlom-quotes]

Scholar: Traffic was horrid today.

Tripitaka, who’s been hanging out with Monkey too much: that’s just how it be on this bitch of an earth, aye.

Scholar: What in the Fuck did you just say?