#incorrect quotes michael myers

[mostly-ghostly-hotel]

Y/N: I’m going to start a false crimes podcast where I explain crimes that never actually happened.

Michael Myers: I’m going to do those crimes you explain, forcing you into having a true crimes podcast

[jesse-cromeans-sugarbaby]

Y/n: calling her best friend) yeah I know I was gonna let you know when I was free…..yeah…alright.

Slasher: (sitting with a towel wrapped around there hair and a face mask on…waiting for them to finish their call)

Y/n: omggg I know!! Yeah I saw it…yeah NO way!!

Slasher: (sighs walking out of the house before.)

Y/n: yeah so- (hears screaming over the phone) hello? Hm weird (turns seeing slasher covered in blood)

A/n: I apologize for not writing anything college has been hectic as shit. And my electives are taking up most of my time along with main courses

[incorrect-random-fandom]

Michael, refusing to die: I think I am going to violate the laws of nature on purpose.

[madpatti]

Wanted to draw a dumb comic again so here ya go

Plus this lil meme here

[slashingdisneypasta]

[the-moons-ace-card]

Freddy: I’m passing the phone to a bitch with a killer kink

Ghostface: For the last time, it’s not a kink. I just like expressing my love for you guys. There is nothing sexual about that. Anyway, I’m passing the phone to someone who can choke me any day and I’d thank them

Michael: I thought you said- you know what, whatever. I’m passing the phone to a rip-off version of me

Jason: Oh, come on! We’re two completely different people! There’s plenty of differences between us! **sighs** I’m passing the phone to someone who needs to learn there’s food out there that’s not other human beings

Leatherface: Not my fault they taste good! I’m passing the phone to someone who grew up with with a family that was scared of her, so she made it everyone’s problem

Samara: You’d do the same if you were me. I’m passing the phone to a shortstack that got beaten by a six year old

Chucky: Wow, fuck you, too. That’s why your mother dumped you in that well. I’m passing the phone to someone who only kills on Valentine’s Day because he gets no bitches

Harry: That’s not why- oh, what am I doing. I am NOT about to argue with a rejected cabbage patch kid. Anyway, I’m passing the phone to someone who can get stopped by a dreamcatcher

Freddy: Now hOLD ON-

[Everyone begins fighting]

[luna-charlie]

Reader : I would never listen to anyone I am my own person I have my own thought and-

Slashers : Sit.

Reader: ............

Reader: "Sit so hard that they fall of the chair"

[jaydraw209]

Freddy: No One here is a mole.

Pinhead: How can you be sure?

Freddy: Because I know these guys, I know everything about them.

Pinhead: You’re a poor killer if you think people can’t surprise you.

Freddy: Not these guys. Watch this, I know what everyone's gonna do tonight. Michael is already planning on killing someone in Laurie’s family, even when they’re NOT siblings anymore.

Freddy: Ghostface is gonna go home and watch some horror movies, some of them being new or recent.

Freddy: And Bubba and his family are planning their own Barbecue.

Leatherface: Tonight’s menu. Grilled Human Legs.

Freddy: And if I run and leap at Jason, he is likely catch me in his arms.*runs at Jason* Coming in!

Jason: No! I'm holding coffee-*drops coffee to catch Freddy*

[darkpeacemusic]

Incorrect Horror Villain Quotes because I have nothing better to do in my life part 2 (with some Jason x Michael)

Freddy: Is this about me? Carrie: No. Freddy: Then I've lost interest.

Freddy: I think I'm falling for you. Michael: Then get up.

Michael, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want? Jason: Blue flavor! Michael: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry? Jason: Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Michael: Blue is not a flavor! Jason: BLUE FLAVOR!

Michael: I'm sorry. Please talk to me. Jason: Michael: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure? Jason: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

Lester: *visiting the other slashers* Hello, I just came to- Lester: *sees Leatherface shoving Ghostface into the washing machine while Chucky records and Vincent watches* Lester: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

Michael: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack. Jason: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.

Chucky, laying in bed: Get out of my room. Tiffany, standing just outside of the door frame: I’m not in your room.

Michael: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. The Slashers: Awwww- Michael: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." The Slashers: Oh.

Jason: How do I tell Michael that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

Ghostface, holding a toy lightsaber: I’m Darth Vader! Freddy: I’m done with everyone’s bullshit.

[jurassicsickfics]

*Au where Annie, Lynda and Bob survived*

(In the hospital room after Halloween 1978)

*dead silence except for clock ticking and machines beeping*

Annie: ....

Laurie: *in deep thought*

Lynda: *drinking water*

Bob: *stares at the ceiling*

Laurie: Ok who the heck screams like that?!

Lynda: *spits water as eruption of laughter ensues*

[mostly-ghostly-hotel]

Y/N: One of these days, I’m going to say “fight me” to the wrong person and they’re just going to deck me.

Michael Myers: Oh, that day is closer than you think.

[jesse-cromeans-sugarbaby]

My toxic trait…is that I think every slasher is in love with me and that I wouldn’t die..

[incorrect-random-fandom]

Michael, to Laurie: You only hate me because I've tried to kill you multiple times and will continue to. Get over yourself.

[scarletembers04]

Samuel Loomis, about Michael Myers: Yes, he is a bitch. B-I... C-T... H!!!!!

[slashingdisneypasta]