#incorrect sterek

[celestialvoid-fanfiction]

Derek: *walks into police station* I’m here for Stiles.

Officer behind the front desk: Last name?

Derek: You must be new here.

[stilesonthehunt]

At the Hale House: Peter: This is a private matter. Derek: Stiles stays. Peter: [whispers] This is pack. Derek: [loudly] THAT'S WHY HE STAYS. Stiles: [tries to suppress a smile]

[always-the-little-spoon]

Stiles: You know, sometimes I don't think you take me seriously.

Derek: There are times you think I do?

[ladiekatie]

Stiles (about Scott): I mean, ask anyone. We're close. Derek: Yes, Scott and my husband sometimes have sleepovers. Derek: In my bed. Derek: With me in it. Derek: 😐😐

[hiseyebrowsaregone]

Derek: Being a man sucks

Lydia: Being stiles’s man wouldn’t

Derek: *blushes*

Stiles: Are ya hitting on Derek, for me?

Lydia: Shut up, it’s working

Derek: It is.

[teencopandthesourwolf]

Stiles: You've heard of 'Carpe Diem' right?

Stiles: Well my motto is 'Carpe Mentula'

Derek: If 'Carpe Diem' means 'Seize The Day' what does 'Carpe Mentula' mean?

Stiles: 'Seize The Dick'

[avery-the-asexual]

Stiles, bangs the door open: IT'S MISSING!

Derek: what's missing?

Stiles: t-t-the thing. U know, the thing.

Derek,turns around, holding their child: what thing sti?

Stiles: oh nvm. You have it.

Derek: what-

Derek: yOU MEAN OUR CHILD?!?

[chocolatepalacecloudhoagie]

Anything can be gay if you try hard enough

[eyebrowsaregonealt]

Erica: Stiles I dare you to kiss the next person to enter this room

Stiles: fine, I just hope it’s not Jackson

Derek, who was down stairs and heard the conversation: I’m gonna go check on Erica!

[idontevenknowanymore8]

Heeeeyyyyy, I’m broke and need money for this school trip I wanna go on it cost 75 dollar so if like 15 people send me 5 bucks I can go

Cash app: $MLW091007

PLSSSSSSSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭

[headcanonthings]

Derek: If I die, would you remarry? Stiles: If you die, I'm putting the romance in necromancy and bringing you back. Derek: Are you really performing dark rituals to keep me alive? Stiles: I said "I do" through sickness and in health, and I meant that as a threat.

[celestialvoid-fanfiction]

Stiles (drunk, talking about Derek): He’s just so gorgeous. I mean, the man’s perfect. He’s strong and brave, but he also has a soft side and he’s really kind. I lose myself in his eyes every time I look at him and when he has that serious look on his face, I get butterflies in my stomach. When I’m with him I feel like I don’t have to be scared, like I’m safe. And have you seen his abs?! Seriously! Sometimes - I swear - I could lick them! But he doesn’t know this, and he CAN’T EVER know that I think this. EVER! So you’ve gotta swear to never tell him!

The pack: *look three inches to Stiles’s left where Derek has been sitting the whole time, reading a book*

Stiles: *turns to look at Derek* You don’t know, do you?

Derek: (not looking up from his book) Nope.

Stiles (oblivious but content): *turns back to the pack* He doesn’t know, so you can’t ever tell him.

[jade-bright]

I love the Sterek fics that have the crack version of when they tell the Sheriff they're dating, or simply that they like each other, and it basically goes like:

Derek: *trying to impress the Sheriff* I treat your son with nothing but respect sir Stiles: Not true Derek: Stiles: Dad, he shoves me against walls! Derek: *horrified* Stiles: He makes me drive and cook for him Derek: You're a cook! You cook for everybody! Stiles: He won't let me break up with him! Derek: That was you! Sir, I promise that I'm not- Sheriff: *dying of laughter* Stiles: *smirking* Derek: *realizes that Stiles is messing with him* That wasn't funny *huff* Why are you the way you are? Stiles: You see how he talks to me, Dad? Sheriff: *poker face* Despicable

[incorrectsterekquotes]

[texting]

stiles: do you think I’m a sunrise or a sunset?

derek: you’re a category five hurricane

[voidstilesplease]

Stiles: Dad, I like you to officially meet my boyfriend, Derek. Derek, you know him as the sheriff, but tonight, he's just my dad.

Noah: *sighs heavily* Are you absolutely sure about this, son?

Stiles: Dad! Don't be rude—

Noah: I was talking to Derek.

[hiseyebrowsaregone]

Derek: *Exists*

Stiles: ❤️💓💞💛💘💙💓💕💖💓💛❤️💞❣️💚💕💓💝❤️💘💖💗💓💞💕💝💗💖❤️💘💗💛❣️💖💕💙💘💞💛💗💚💛💖💘

Lydia: How the fuck did you say that out loud?