headcanonthings - Tumblr blog

[headcanonthings]

Qui-Gon, after returning from Melida/Dann without Obi-Wan: Padawan Vos, I sense hostility from you. Quinlan: Good, because I hate you.

[headcanonthings]

Barry: C'mon Bruce, we're friends. I was building up to call you "Bru-Bru" one of these days. Bruce: That will never happen. In fact, you just lost "Bruce" privileges. From now on, you can call me "Wayne" or "hey you". Barry: Come on Bruce... Bruce, glaring: Barry: Come on hey you....

[headcanonthings]

*An Alderman is withholding Geralt's payment* Jaskier: With all due respect  Jaskier: Jaskier: which is none 

[headcanonthings]

Illya: Everything’s fine, Cowboy. Napoleon: Peril, I know your relationship with the English language is strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

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[headcanonthings]

Clint: Physically I'm here, but spiritually I'm lying in a Waffle House parking lot somewhere in rural Kentucky, slowly bleeding out from several stab wounds. Kate: Mood. Yelena: What's a Waffle House?

[headcanonthings]

Jopson: People keep calling Lt. Hodgson the epitome of a golden retriever. Jopson: He is not. Jopson: He is a raccoon that has been too socialized by people and now cannot be released back into the wild.

[headcanonthings]

Merlin: -three leveled buildings, all outside of the demolition zone! What do you have to say for yourself?? Eggsy: Uh… I made a oopsie daisy? Merlin: *takes a deep breath before he turns to harry* Merlin: Do you have anything to add, Arthur? Harry: … whoops? Merlin: Roxy: … I’ll like to remind you I had nothing to do with this-

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Todd: No offence, but a waiter could literally murder me and I'd still tip 20%. Quentin: I'd actually tip more if they murder me, that's great customer service.

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Todd: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for the cats? Dirk: They need to learn how to protect us.

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Eddie: You got a date yet Trashmouth? Richie: No... Eddie: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

[headcanonthings]

Random Darksider: I have come to take you. Ahsoka, pulling out her comm: Hang on, let me ask my Master first. Random Darksider: What are you-? Ahsoka: He said he's coming over in five minutes. He's also bringing Kenobi. You should probably leave if you still value your life.

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Joe: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.  Nicky: Nicky: I said I was sorry for eating your chocolate, tesoro

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Roy: You have Crayons? Colin: Yes, I have— Roy: You're— how old are you? Colin: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

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Crozier: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

[headcanonthings]

Joe: How was the honeymoon? Copely: Book got drunk and tried to burn our marriage certificate. Copely: He said, "Good luck trying to return me without the receipt".

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Diana: I don't always understand Barry's texts. He says, 'they're still waiting on the lab, and it's 'allz good.' Alls with a 'Z.' Then, a box with a question mark inside, another box with a question mark inside, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, and yet another, box with a question mark, and then, a box with a question mark. What does that mean? Bruce: It means you don't have emojis installed.