#incorrect tma

[archivessuggest]

S1 Jon: *before Elias can leave the archives after telling them all about an unexpected bonus* What’s got you so excited, Elias?

Elias: Oh, I almost forgot to tell you all! You’ll be getting the formal invitations soon, my husband and I are throwing an anniversary party and it’s just put me in the best mood!

Martin: Oh, that’s so sweet! What anniversary number is this?

Elias: First. We’ll be signing the divorce papers at the party.

Archive staff: …

Sasha: Oh? You’re really gonna spring divorce papers on him at an anniversary party?

Tim: The amount of grief the man must have cost you to get that as a punishment…

Elias: Oh, no, we agreed on signing them at the party. It’s why we never spend much on the weddings, since the divorce parties and lawyers end up taking such a big cut. Anyways, the information is all in the invites, I hope you all can come! *leaves*

Jon: …did he just imply this has happened before? Multiple times before?

Martin: Yeah. Must be some guy if he keeps going back to him.

Tim: I’m jealous. Sasha, marry me so we can have divorce parties.

Sasha: Hmm… convince me and we’ll see.

[justpentdraws]

why gerard keay goes by gerry, ilustrated by me, featuring tim dying (not literaly)

[not-the-archivist]

Full stop punctuation

[cobalt-knave]

Incorrect The Magnus Archives #383

Jon: Why should I trust you? 

Helen: Just sort of hoping you'd think I have an honest face. 

Jon: I've seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars.

[mashedgravyandpotatoes]

Jon, pointing: May I sit there?

Martin: That’s my lap

Jon: That doesn’t answer my question, Martin

[ametisztpatkany]

elias: we can't manipulate, manwhore or mansplain our way out of this one

elias: it's manslaughter then

[fuckthisshitimin]

You're in her dms, I'm in her cabin luggage trapped in a book made with human skin.

[incorrect-ceaseless-watcher]

idk how many of you are into the band ghost but I seriously feel like I need to create some crossover content because it's just too perfect. most of these are just based off lyrics don't hate me

TMA entities as Ghost songs.

the eye: watcher in the sky

the buried: ghuleh/ zombie queen

the spiral: secular haze

the slaughter: twenties

the vast: life eternal

the web: faith

the hunt: hunter's moon

the dark: deus in absentia

the corruption: rats

the lonely: call me little sunshine

the stranger: I'm a marionette

the end: pro memoria

the desolation: from the pinnacle to the pit

the extinction: year zero

[silvandar]

Jonny: Gerard Kaey has mommy issues, poorly dyed greasy black hair, and weird tattoos.

TMA fandom: Thirst trap, gotcha. Poor little meow meow, confirmed. Simping commenced.

[esotericfreelancer]

Mike, stuttering over his words like a dumbass:

I uh... I uhm... Uh... MICHEAL SAID HE WAS SORRY!

Gerry: Micheal is that true?

Michael: NO I'M DRINKING MILK

[archivessuggest]

Elias: Gay rights for me. The rest of you can fight over the leftovers.

Jon: I’m gonna fight, but I brought a gun and I want to distribute the gay rights evenly.

Elias: That’s also valid. Good luck.

[justpentdraws]

so in mag 26 "the distortion" sasha sees michael buying flowers right.

in mag 47 "a new door" michael warns jon about not!sasha

and the question begs. how did he know that it wasn't sasha? of course there are more rational explanations but i made one that also explains where the lillies from mag 26 went.

[not-the-archivist]

Hatsune Michael (inspired by a discord server I'm in)

[cobalt-knave]

Incorrect The Magnus Archives #380

Elias: The wedding! 

Rosie: The wedding. What wedding? 

Elias: My wedding! I'm getting married — can you believe it? 

Rosie: I don't think "no" is a strong enough word. 

Elias: I know! It's crazy! I mean, we fought for all these years, and then.. Sometimes you just look at someone, and you know.. You know? 

Rosie: No.. 

Elias: I think maybe we fought because we couldn't admit how we really felt about each other. 

Rosie: (Confused) Can we start again? 

Elias: You'll really like him. Well, nobody really likes him.. 

Rosie: I just need to clear a few things up.. 

Elias: I don't even really like him.. 

Rosie: Elias.. 

Elias: But.. I love him. I do.

[mashedgravyandpotatoes]

Jon: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Martin: I wrote you a poem

Jon, already crying: You did?

[vorpalmuchness]

Melanie King, in the same tone as "thanks Obama": Thanks Jon.