#instruct me as you wish-

[zhongrin]

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[sunset-moth]

I have a set of binds for Titanfall 2.

It's a bunch of lines for boarding my titan and triggering the self-destruct sequence, since you're locked into animations for a second or two and have nothing better to do but reach over and tap a bind. I thought it might be annoying, but the majority of responses are "haha thats funny" or "damn thats cool," both of which are the intended result. There are a few people who tell me to shut up, but that happens binds or no binds, so... Meh!

i think one of my favorite responses so far has been "cabin got the protagonist lines, damn" (my IGN is SnowboundCabin.)

I've also had a few people ask how I do it, since it's not just a single bind, but rather a list - 127 detonation lines, 202 boarding lines. So, I'm going to release the AHK script I use for it. (Comes with enclosed instruction book!*) This one's a blank template, but I'm also going to post a few of my favorite lines.

TONE :: PILOT BOARDING ::

PLEASE KEEP YOUR ARMS AND LEGS INSIDE THE ME AT ALL TIMES.

MY BODY IS A TEMPLE TO A GOD OF DEATH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I PUT DOWN MY BOOK TO BE HERE.

THIS TITANFALL SPONSORED BY PIZZA. (courtesy of @inucaseclosedfan)

I WON'T 'ROCKET JUMP,' STOP ASKING.

I'D CALL SHOTGUN IF I WASN'T THE CAR.

DEPLOYING FUZZY DICE.

CALL ME BOB ROSS THE WAY I PAINT TARGETS.

I AM HUNGRY FEED ME BATTERIES.

DON'T GET DORITO DUST ON MY CONTROLS.

THEY ASKED FOR NO PICKLES!

I THINK I'M IN THE WRONG TF2.

TONE :: DETONATION IMMINENT ::

DON'T FORGET TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE!

YOU'RE NOT INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!

WAIT I CHANGED MY MIND HOW DO I-

CAN I GET A BETTER PILOT NEXT TIME?

WAS I A GOOD TITAN?

WATCH THIS COOL TRICK RONIN TAUGHT ME!

LEAKING ENEMY BROWSER HISTORY

DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR!

NICE KILL. ONE SMALL PROBLEM. I HAVE NUCLEAR EJECT.

And my all-time favorite:

TONE :: DETONATION IMMINENT :: POST MY SPECS TO THE WAR THUNDER FORUMS.

[heartual]

had such a good experience with surgery today i can’t even fully explain

[robotpanties]

uuuuuhhh no reason just wanna see the robot get preggers because nobody is really taking advantage of the narrative consequences of the robots of ULTRAKILL having fleshy bits inside them (in my humble opinion hahahaha...hahaha....hah....). Anywhosen also a sucker for general Bad End especially when it involves a psycho-sexual (breeding) binding to a greater entity but also I wanna see the murder-robot get knocked up. And the galaxy brain bit of this is instead of calming down they just get Worse.

YEAH NO ONE REALLY TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THAT. and well i mostly assumed a very small percentage of people actually want to breed the robots like that which is why.

also i don't think this as a bad end, but a bad path that can lead to some other.. inch resting things (my stupid ass is trying to craft a plot with horror and drama from this path and how it'd change the story slightly despite knowing I will never get around to writing it in fic form except tiny excerpt ideas and art)

also i have so much to say abt the 'it doesn't calm down it just gets worse' bc its So true

[masteroffakesmiles]

cried a bit during my driving lesson today (check tags)

Not happy about that

[friendofthecrows]

they gotta make nap-length sleep mediations. Also ones where the speaker doesn't sound like the world's most annoying yoga intructer or perhaps therapist.

[ifyourereadingthisblinktwice]

david ward im begging you. please. how do you get to eskew. please please please pleaseeeee the city would love me so much i would do everything it asked of me. i would fit in there so well

[licorishh]

OK SPOILERS I GUESS FOR BLACK OPS COLD WAR UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I JUST DID THE HAVANA MISSION AND "BREAK ON THROUGH" AND I'M LITERALLY SO PRESSED RN??

I AM SO UPSET THEY MADE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN HELEN AND LAZAR WHAT EVEN WAS THAT WHY'D IT HAVE TO BE THOSE TWO THEY'RE LITERALLY MY FAVORITES OF THE NEWER CHARACTERS WHY

TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE THEY HAD CRAZY GOOD CHEMISTRY AND I WAS LITERALLY SITTING THERE THE WHOLE TIME DURING THAT MISSION THINKING "Dang y'all make a good couple y'all got it goin' on" BUT NO OF COURSE NOT THIS IS CALL OF DUTY WHERE NO ONE IS HAPPY AND GOOD ENDINGS DON'T EXIST AND LOVE IS A LIE

I struggled for like fifteen minutes just sitting there on the pause menu trying to pick UGHHH but I ended up going with Helen in the end simply because I think she can bring slightly more value to the team (NOT TO SAY LAZAR IS USELESS HE'S EXTREMELY HANDY AND VERY COOL AND I LOVE HIM) just because of her connection with MI6 and her ability to gather intel and all that good stuff and I'm just ever so slightly more attached to her as a character and I also got the impression Lazar really liked her a lot so I would've felt worse saving him and knowing he missed her like a crap ton so in the end I think I made the better decision

HOWEVER COMMA THEN WE HAVE "BREAK ON THROUGH" AND I'M LITERALLY SO MAD BC WDYM ADLER WAS LYING AND I LITERALLY DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY AND I HAD A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LIFE AND I WAS THE GUY ARASH KADIVAR SHOT IN THE BEGINNING IN THE MISSION WITH WOODS AND MASON AND ADLER LIKE WHAT?? WDYM THOSE MEMORIES IN VIETNAM WEREN'T REAL?? WDYM I'VE ACTUALLY KNOWN ADLER FOR LIKE TWO DAYS AND NOT TWENTY YEARS?? Wdym HUDSON was actually RIGHT to be worried about me going into the Lubyanka building?????? HUDSON?? RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING?? NUH-UH

And wdym PARK KNEW THE WHOLE TIME LIKE GIRL I THOUGHT WE WERE BESTIES WHAT IS THIS!! YOU HAD ME RISK MY NECK FOR YOU INSTEAD OF MR. LOVER BOY AND NOW I FIND OUT YOU WERE FRICKIN LYING TO ME THE WHOLE TIME TOO LIKE?? I'm aware it was for the greater good and that technically it was good for Bell too bc now she's a good guy and isn't a bad guy (I play with female Bell to be clear because that's awesome and I love that that's an option) BUT Y'ALL STILL LIED TO ME?? I'm gonna keep an eye on those two for REAL now like watch as Adler frickin tries to offer me up as some sacrificial lamb at some point I just KNOW he will UGH

Idk I'm still holding out hope Lazar is alive somehow because technically I didn't actually see him die he was just lying there and I felt so AWFUL UGHHH

Anyway I'm going to carry on pretending he's fine and he got out and everything is hunky dory and great and he and Helen went on that date and they're together and everything is fine and wonderful

[t4tstarvingdog]

honestly thinking abt what i just told quinton, i really am goalkeeper coded….

[freehologramreview]

Another day, another "Do I suck really bad at video games like I suck at everything in my life or is this shit REALLY fucking badly designed?"

[fideidefenswhore]

His motto, in French, said it all. Playfully both explicit and deniable, it read, 'Declare je n'ose' meaning 'Declare I dare not'. In the evening, he held a banquet, ostensibly for Katherine, at which he insisted on serving his wife and, more to the point, the women around her--who included Anne--with their food and drink.

Hunting the Falcon: Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn, and The Marriage That Shook Europe, John Guy & Julia Fox

[supercantaloupe]

trader joes frozen green curry is currently saving my ass lunch wise because they're 1. convenient 2. tasty 3. PAERVE AND KOSHER FOR PASSOVER*. however they are getting me back by 1. being really annoying to fucking open (the plastic cover is REALLY stuck on and hard to pull off without spilling boiling curry on yourself) and 2. it always fucking boils over in the microwave if you cook it the way the box instructions tell you to

[king0fcrows]

.

[mariedemedicis]

both parents driving me insane rn mom’s turning into a headless chicken because she’s leaving tomorrow afternoon and dad’s being unhelpful but acting like he’s not making things worse

[celestial-toys]

been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

[queenerdloser]

hahahaha after like five days of being totally normal, my cat has now decided that he is sick again and threw up like six times in two hours, spiking my anxiety back into astronomical levels