#interesting choices being made with the selective memory

[rigginsstreet]

criticism against barbie and what that whole brand represented is hardly new and i just find it interesting how with the movie and everyones hype for it suddenly no one wants to talk about that particular discourse or act like it never happened..... k

[azrielslittleslut]

"The Lost Queen"- Chapter 4

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: A magical incident causes Azriel to unexpectedly tumble through a portal into modern-day Earth. Confused and injured, he is discovered by a compassionate human woman with a hidden past. She takes care of him and helps him discover the complexities of the modern world, completely unaware of who she truly is. Meanwhile, Azriel struggles with his conflicting desires: his duty to the Night Court and his growing love for the woman who saved him.

Their journey unfolds amidst ancient prophecies and the looming threat in Prythian. As they uncover the truth about forces conspiring against them, they must confront their deepest fears and make choices that will change their lives and the world forever.

Warnings: language, mentions of alcohol (nobody gets drunk), a little bit of angst, a little bit of fluff

Word Count: 5.7k

series masterlist

Enjoy!

The last twenty-four hours had been so whirlwind crazy that you had completely forgotten that it was your weekly pizza and movie night with your parents.

Every Wednesday night for the last four years, the three of you would gather around your TV with your favorite pizza as you explored movies of various genres. Your father always chose action and thriller movies, your mother preferred romance, and you tended to select anything that had to do with science fiction or fantasy.

It was a cherished ritual, one that brought you a sense of comfort and normalcy. These nights were by far your favorite part of the week, and you silently cursed yourself for being so forgetful.

“Mom… Dad,” you said, trying desperately to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation. You couldn’t say you had forgotten about the night- because you had never done such a thing- but you didn’t exactly know how to explain your forgetfulness. “Is it already eight o’clock? Work was insane today, so the time got away from me.”

Azriel slowly started to back away from you, walking backward toward the bedroom, the bag of clothes still in hand. “I- I um,” he stammered, his brown face turning a deep shade of red. “Need to put clothes on,” he finally got out as he rushed for the bedroom, slamming the door behind him with a loud bang.

If your parents had not been standing there, their faces still frozen in shock, you would have laughed at his stuttering. He was so broody and stoic, all dark and mysterious, so it was amusing to see him so flustered. You faced your parents again, willing your face into a neutral expression.

Louis and Celeste Fontenot were the best parents anyone could ask for. Your father was a mechanic, a hard-working man who had always made sure to keep the bills paid and food on the table. Your mother was an English teacher at one of the local middle schools, and she had been the solid rock you could always lean on when life was difficult.

They had always done their best to ensure that your life was easy and carefree, always supporting you during your different, and sometimes strange, interests. As a child, they encouraged you with soft smiles when you declared you wanted to be an astronaut when you grew up. They had taken you to the beach when you decided that instead, you wanted to be a pirate. You still had fond memories of your father building a small wooden boat for you to float in, riding the waves as they crashed along the shore.

Your parents had even backed you up when you had concluded that you wanted to be a queen in a faraway kingdom, riding horses in front of her castle, charging into battles on the frontlines. They had bought you frilly dresses and plastic crowns, always playing into your active imagination.

They had been rather surprised, to say the least, when you had applied for nursing school a few years ago. As you grew older, you developed a love for healing and helping people, and your parents stood by you every step of the way. They had been ecstatic when you graduated at the top of your class, and they had been beyond themselves when you had gotten hired at Tulane Medical Center as a trauma nurse.

“We’re sorry. We should have knocked,” your father said, walking up to you to press a kiss on your forehead. His signature scent of oil, fuel, and cologne filled your nose, and you smiled up at him. “We didn’t expect you to have company tonight.”

You sighed, wanting to steer the conversation away from the half-naked man who had been standing in your living room. “It’s alright. You know you’re always welcome in my house.” Though you had purchased the home and surrounding land with your own money, your parents had insisted on helping with the furniture, even though they lived paycheck to paycheck most months.

For a middle-class English teacher and mechanic, it was hard to be financially stable in this economy.

Your mother walked up to you with a kind smile on her face, pulling you into a tight hug despite the pizza box in her arms. “How are you, sweetheart?” she asked, pulling away to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. She could read you like a book, and you knew she had picked up on your desire to change the topic of conversation.

Stressed out. Angry. Upset. Lost. Have you ever heard of a place called Prythian? You wanted to tell your parents everything, to unload your burdens on them, just like you always have. Everything you thought you knew about life and the world had started to fall apart at the seams, and you desperately wanted your feelings to be validated.

As you looked at them, their faces so open and trusting, the words threatened to spill from your mouth, but you pushed them down and said, “I’m good. Work has been chaotic, and I’m tired all the time. But I’m good,” you said, steering them toward the small kitchen connected to the living room.

Though it was compact, it was meticulously organized and well-stocked with modern stainless-steel appliances and dishware. The cabinets were crafted with traditional wood, and they were painted in a light color that correlated with the warm, earthy tone of the walls. At the heart of the kitchen stood a small dining table encircled by four rustic-looking chairs.  

Your father set the bag on the table, pulling out some sodas and beer. He moved your copy of The Man in the Iron Mask by Alexandre Dumas as he asked, “Have you been sleeping well, mon ange?” Your father, being born and raised in New Orleans, had called you “my angel” in Cajun French for as long as you could remember, and the nickname warmed your heart.

You sighed as you watched your mother place the pizza box on the table. “Yeah. I’ve been having those weird dreams again, but I’m able to sleep most nights.” You pushed aside the quiet voice in the back of your mind whispering that sleep would be a rare visitor now.

Until you figured out what the hell was going on with Azriel, at least.

You hadn’t gone to work earlier. You had told your supervisor that you were sick with the stomach flu and unable to leave the bathroom. You had even faked some gagging sounds to make it believable.

After you dropped off Azriel, you went to Crescent Park, wandering aimlessly along the Mississippi River. You had sat on a bench all afternoon, staring at the New Orleans skyline as the sun dropped below the horizon.

Your whole life, you had felt out of place, feeling as if you didn’t belong where you were. You had tried everything to fit in, to belong in the “in crowd.” After countless failed friendships and many awkward encounters, you had given up, accepting your role in this society as an outcast.

Of course, you had some friends, but you didn’t have a group of people with whom you could share your secrets with. You didn’t have anyone who could understand your deepest desires and the shadowed places of your heart.

But after hearing everything today from Serena about Prythian, you had felt unsettled but… seen. After thinking about those strange paintings, you realized that you too had seen those landscapes in your dreams. Your dream self had flown over those mountains, had walked in that city of starlight.

After hours of silent staring and contemplating, you still didn’t understand any of it, but you were willing to listen. You had been willing to let Azriel explain everything about his world, about Prythian.

Until your parents had showed up. Now, you would have to hound him with questions later.

Your mother brought you back into the conversation with a gentle hand along your back. “If you ever want to talk, honey,” she said, pressing a kiss to your temple, “we’re always here to listen.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but you were cut off by your bedroom door opening. All thoughts left your head as Azriel, now dressed in a pair of black pants and a white tee shirt, walked into the kitchen.

You had misjudged the size of the clothes when you bought them on your way home from the park. To you, they had looked big. So big that they would have swallowed you whole if you were to put them on.

But on him… the pants were tight around his thighs, and your eyes were glued to the muscles moving there as he walked. And the shirt… it was so tight on his body, you could count each one of his abs underneath, and you could see the black lines of those strange tattoos covering his chest.

What the hell did he eat to look like that? You tried not to think of what he looked like without clothes on, how that muscular chest had felt under your palm…

Your father cleared his throat loudly, obviously seeing where your eyes had wandered to. He stuck his hand out to Azriel as he said, “Nice to meet you. I’m Louis. But please call me Lou. Everyone does.” He shook Azriel’s hand, not even flinching at the brutal scars that covered them.

You wondered how he got them. What brutal encounter had he suffered for his skin to be so marred?

From your side vision, you could see that your mother’s hand had gone to her chest, her eyes wide as she looked at Azriel. She had never, not once in her life, looked at a man besides your father.

But Azriel, you supposed, was no ordinary-looking man. Especially not with that toned body and beautiful face of his.

Your mother blinked rapidly, forcing herself to recover from her stupor. “And I’m Celeste.” She tilted her head to the side as she looked at him, a kind smile blooming on her face. “And you are?”

Azriel’s eyes slid to you for a moment, as if he were asking for your permission to speak. He looked uncomfortable and lost, kind of like a fish out of water.

You stepped into the conversation, walking over to place your hand on his shoulder. “This is Azriel. He’s a… new addition to my life.” You honestly didn’t know how else to describe his sudden arrival on your front lawn.

“Ah. I see,” your father murmured, his eyes raking Azriel’s body from head to toe. A protective father’s scrutiny. “Well. I hope you’re hungry Azriel. We brought a lot of pizza with us.”

Azriel leaned his head down, his lips so close to your ear that you could feel his breath as he whispered, “I don’t know what that is.”

Would this day ever end?

---

It turns out that Azriel was hungry. Starving, even.

You had laughed silently as he had picked up a slice of pizza, his eyes wary as he watched the toppings nearly slide off. He had nibbled at it, barely getting enough in his mouth to taste. Then, he had taken a bigger bite, his eyes rolling back slightly as he groaned, “So good.”

That had been four slices ago. You were thankful your parents had thought ahead and gotten an extra-large pizza, or there wouldn’t have been enough for anyone else.

Your mother had been watching with her own amused expression the whole time, no doubt used to seeing strange behavior from her students. “Beer?” she offered, placing a glass bottle in front of him.

Azriel swallowed his pizza as he raised the bottle, taking a giant swig. You laughed out loud as he nearly spit it out all over the table. “By the cauldron, this is disgusting,” he said, pushing the bottle away from him like it was poison.

You were still giggling as you pushed a can of soda toward him. “Here. Try this instead.”

He cautiously took a sip, his eyes locked onto yours as he did so. He grimaced at first, but after a few seconds, he nodded. “Better.”

Your father placed his pizza crust on the plate, his eyes moving over to you. “So, why didn’t you tell us you had a boyfriend, Y/N?”

You choked on your drink, throwing a hand over your mouth as you coughed. From beside you, Azriel placed his hand on your back, patting it gently. Not a good time, you wanted to say, but you couldn’t stop coughing.

Azriel looked at your father with a confused look, his hazel eyes bright. “I am…” he started, his eyebrows creasing, “a friend that is a boy.”

Oh God.

After a few more seconds of coughing, you were able to breathe again. You pushed Azriel’s hand away as you said, “Azriel is just a friend, Dad. We met at a bookstore, and I thought he was nice.”

Your mother, who shared your love of literature, shook her hands excitedly. “Oh! What kind of books do you read, Azriel?”

Please say something normal for once.

Azriel pondered for a moment, his fingers playing idly with the can of soda. “Well, I’ve recently gotten into a book called The Art and Illusion of Espionage. It’s very insightful.” He smiled up at her, but it didn’t meet his eyes.

Damn it.

But he was trying to act like he fit in here, despite everything he had experienced today. The realization warmed your heart, and you placed a hand on his arm. “Azriel reads all things, really. It’s one of the things that makes our friendship so great.” You put heavy emphasis on the word “friendship.” You continued, “It keeps the conversations interesting.”

Your parents knew you had no interest whatsoever in espionage, or whatever the hell Azriel said, but they didn’t press on about it.

Your mother nodded, while your father’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Well, I’m glad to see you have a friend who you can talk to,” your father said at last, and you knew he meant it. You knew he would rather you talk to someone about spying than seclude yourself in your house, which is what you do most days.

“So where are you from, Azriel?” your mother asked as she finished her slice of pizza. “For the life of me, I cannot think of where that accent could be from.”

Shit.

Your mind scrambled as you tried to think of an answer for him. You would do anything to shield him from your parent’s innocent curiosity, but you were saved from answering as Azriel said, “I’m from a little-known region, far away from here. It’s rather isolated and small, so I doubt you’ve heard of it. I’ve also traveled quite a bit, so it’s a mix of the accents I’ve come across during that time.” His tone was firm, signaling that was all he was going to say on the matter.

But you had to give the man credit. At least he was thinking ahead, it seemed, instead of blurting out the first answer that came to mind.

Your father hummed as he leaned back in his chair. He drank the last of his beer, setting the glass down on the table. “What about your family, then? Do they live around here?”

Azriel’s face paled, his eyes darkening. He looked down at the table, gripping the empty can of soda so tight that it started to crumble. “No,” he said, his voice low. “They don’t.”

His tone was sad and distant, and the bleak look in his eyes broke your heart. You looked at your father, rolling your eyes at him slightly. “Dad, stop interrogating him.”

Your father held up his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just want to know who my daughter is hanging around,” he mumbled, clearly upset that you had called him out. You knew he was just curious and that he wanted to protect you and keep you safe. “No more questions. I promise.”

The tenseness that you hadn’t noticed in Azriel’s shoulders loosened. Under the table, you could feel his hand drift over to your thigh, squeezing it affectionately. The gesture said what he wouldn’t dare to say out loud. Thank you.

“Well,” your mother said, once again sensing your desire to change the topic of conversation. “We have family dinners every Saturday night. You are more than welcome to join us, Azriel. We would love to have you.”

Azriel’s eyes softened as he nodded. “Thank you,” he said, and you smiled at the warmth that had returned to his voice.

The conversation flowed easily after that; the movie long forgotten. You were thankful for the diversion. You didn’t feel like having to explain to Azriel what a TV or a movie was, and you definitely didn’t think you could manage it without your parents noticing.  

Azriel sat there in contented silence, no doubt thankful that the interrogation from your parents was over. He would take part in the conversation at random intervals, usually giving one-word answers, as if he were used to making people believe that he was listening in the first place.

The sky outside the kitchen window was completely dark, the stars bright in the sky. “It’s late,” your father said at last, looking out the dark window and then down at his watch. “We should get going.”

Your mother stood and pushed her chair back. “It was so nice to meet you,” she said, smiling over at Azriel. “We hope we get to see you again soon?”

Azriel’s eyes slid over to you, searching your face for an answer, knowing that things between the two of you needed to seem normal. You smiled and gave him a small nod. “Yes,” he said, noting your movement. “I think you will.”

“Wonderful!” your mother responded. She reached her hand out to take yours and you moved around the table.

You took her hand, and, for a moment, you found yourself staring at your parents, noticing how much you didn’t look like them. You had your mother’s compassion and gentleness and your father’s stubbornness, but when it came to looks…

It was so obvious that as a child, you had asked them if you were adopted. They had laughed, assuring you that you were indeed theirs. “You look a lot like my sister,” your mother had said. “You have her coloring and build. I guess her genes decided to come out in you instead of mine.” At the time, it had been a good enough answer for you, but you still questioned it sometimes.

It didn’t help that you had still not met her sister, the one that she claimed you looked like.

“I’ll walk you guys out,” you said, moving to usher them from the kitchen. You wanted to make sure they were gone before you started questioning Azriel about everything.

Your father shook Azriel’s hand again before following you and your mother through the house. You cringed as you heard him say in a low voice, “In the future, make sure you wear clothes around my daughter.”

Protective bastard.

You could almost see Azriel’s beautiful face fill with embarrassment as he muttered, “Of course, sir.”

His formal and polite tone made you smile as you opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch, thankful for the humid air as it masked the flush in your own cheeks.

---

As you walked with your parents out to their car, Azriel found himself wandering toward the glass door situated along the wall in your living room. He slid it open, letting the warm summer air wash over his cold skin as he walked outside.

The patio had wooden floors, and it was filled with small potted plants sitting on tables. Most of them were dying in the heat, their leaves wilted, their stems sagging low. But some of them bloomed, their petals vibrant in the darkness, as if those flowers refused to let anything disrupt them from living on.

Would he be able to bloom here, in this world, even though everything around him was falling apart?

Azriel pondered that sobering thought as he walked over to one of the chairs sitting on the edge of the patio. He sat down and leaned back, stretching his long legs out in front of him.

Dinner with your parents had been an awkward experience for him. Az tried not to think about the fact that your parents had seen him almost naked. He didn’t understand the strange phrases or slang here, and he felt an overwhelming wave of homesickness fill his chest.

Azriel leaned his head back against the chair, sighing up at the stars that shone brightly above him. Their little lights twinkled and danced in the night sky, completely oblivious to the problems of the people who dwelled below.

Though they were beautiful, they were nothing compared to the stars back home. He wondered if he would ever see the stars of Velaris again, if he would ever be able to stretch his wings out and fly across the mountains with the feeling of the wind beneath them.

He felt his eyes begin to water slightly, and for the first time in his life, he didn’t care if tears fell from his eyes. He hadn’t felt this lost and lonely since his childhood, locked away in his father’s dungeon.

But tonight, with the stars as the only witnesses, Az let them fall down his cheeks and onto the soft fabric of his shirt.

Azriel didn’t bother to move or hide his crying as he heard the patio door slide open. He kept his gaze on the stars as you walked over and sat down silently in the chair next to his. He could feel your eyes on his face, no doubt noticing the wetness on his cheeks. You leaned back in the chair, and from the corner of his eyes, he saw you look up to the stars as well.

“They are beautiful,” you murmured, your voice soft as night. “It’s nice to come out here and sit when life is hard.”

He couldn’t think of a response that wasn’t filled with pain and self-pity, so he stayed silent.

You crossed your legs gracefully as you said, “My parents seem to like you. They think you’re a little odd,” you said with a chuckle, “but they believe that means you’re better than most guys nowadays.”

That caught Azriel’s attention, and he suddenly remembered a strange word that had been said earlier. He looked over to you, the tears drying on his cheeks. “What is a boyfriend?”

You tipped your head back as you laughed, and he found himself captivated by the way your cheeks dimpled. “A boyfriend is sort of like… well, it’s someone you are with because you have special feelings for them- more than just a friendship. It’s not formal or anything. It’s someone you enjoy spending time with, someone who makes you laugh, and it might even develop into love.” You looked at him and offered him a smile. “A girlfriend is the same concept. Does that make sense?”

Azriel hummed as he thought about what you said. “Do you have one? A boyfriend… or a girlfriend?” He hadn’t heard you speak of anyone special in your life.

But then again, he supposed, there hadn’t really been time for you to speak about such things.

You shook your head as you sighed. “No. I’ve had them before. Boyfriends and girlfriends, actually. But I’m single right now. Have been for a long time,” you finished with a chuckle. “Do you have a special someone in your life?”

“No, not really,” he said, looking back up at the night sky. “It’s- it’s complicated.” His love life was in shambles, and it had been for a while now.

You clicked your tongue. “That’s a shame. I would imagine all of the men and women of Prythian would be tripping over themselves trying to get with a pretty boy like you.”

Azriel laughed, unable to help himself. Your boldness was something he had come to admire. It was a rare occurrence that someone took him by surprise, but you seemed to do it constantly. “You think I’m pretty?” he asked smugly.

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t get full of yourself. I’m not saying I would trip over myself to get with you, but I’m not blind.”

Then why is your face so red? He wanted to ask to keep teasing you. Talking with you was… easy. He had never liked being involved in long conversations, but it was as effortless as breathing with you. The realization shocked him, but he focused enough to say, “Your parents are nice. They love you.”

You looked up at the stars again, running your fingers idly across the arm of the chair. “Yeah. They’re great. They’ve always supported me, loving me no matter what hell I put them through. I was a… rebellious teenager, to say the least.” You paused for a moment, as if you were contemplating on what to say next. “What about your parents?”

Azriel ground his teeth, not wanting to start that conversation. “I’m not close with them,” was all he said. He hated his father, and he didn’t want to bring up his sweet mother. He hadn’t been able to go see her before he was brought here, and now his heart shattered at the thought of never hearing her gentle voice singing to him again.

He wondered how his mother was doing, if her mental state had improved in his absence. Az doubted it. His mother had been spouting nonsense and blabbering at walls since he had saved her from that wretched war camp four hundred years ago.

 “Do you have siblings?” Azriel asked, genuinely curious about your family situation. Plus, he wanted to steer the conversation away from his own horrible family circumstances.

“No. It’s just me. My parents always said I was enough to handle,” you said with a laugh, but your tone was warm and affectionate. “What about you?”

He stopped for a moment, thinking about how much of his life he wanted to disclose. “I have two brothers. We’re not related by blood, but we’re brothers all the same.” He was unable to keep the sadness from his voice as he said it. The thought of Rhys and Cassian sent a sharp pang through his chest, and he closed his eyes, trying to fight off the memories that washed through him like a flood.

After that, the conversation died off, and the two of you sat in silence as the stars shone brightly overhead. Azriel focused on the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, the water lapping against the bank of the bayou. He gripped the chair in his hands as he concentrated on his breathing, keeping it steady.

Breathe. In. Out. Repeat.

“I need to get home,” he said at last, his voice ragged. “I can’t stay here. They need me.” He tried not to think about the unstable magic, about whether or not Rhys had fallen into a magic-induced insanity.

Was Prythian still there or had his world descended into madness, swallowed up in the darkness of whatever evil magic was at work?

Az was so caught up in his thoughts that he jumped slightly as he felt your warm hand grasp his, wrapping itself around his palm. He tried not to think of your flawless skin being so close to his ruined flesh. “We will figure this out, Azriel. Together,” you said, your voice firm and full of confidence. “I will help you.”

He smiled softly, moving his head over to look at you. Though it was dark, he could see the intense gleam in your eyes, the light of the moon reflecting in them. “You can call me Az, if you want. That’s what everyone calls me.”

You smiled back at him, and his heart stuttered in his chest as your dimples made an appearance again. “Well, it’s not special if everyone calls you that, now is it?” you asked, sitting up straight in the chair. You pulled your hand away as you looked at him, a wicked smile forming on your full lips. “I think I’ll come up with my own nickname for you…” you trailed off, still smiling at him. “Azzy.”

Azriel’s eyes widened in horror as you said the nickname, but he couldn’t deny the feeling of pleasure that rushed through his body as the name fell from your lips. “Do not call me that,” he said, trying and failing to keep the smile out of his voice.

“Whatever you say… Azzy,” you responded, still smiling at him.

Stubborn little human.

Azriel turned away, the effort of pestering you drained by an overwhelming tiredness. His eyelids grew heavy, drooping under the relentless assault of exhaustion that washed over him in waves. Though his body was mostly healed, he couldn’t ignore the persistent ache that clung to his bones- a silent reminder of what had been taken away from him.

He was almost asleep, swallowed up in that blissful darkness, when he heard you murmur, “What did the artist say about me?”

He fought to open his eyes as he tried to remember the conversation with Serena. It all blended together in his brain, the words about paintings and Prythian and the person she would talk to. He struggled to form the words as he mumbled, “She said she would contact someone who could help us, but we have to wait for them to get in touch.”

There was something else, though, but he couldn’t think past how tired he was.

“Oh, okay,” you murmured as you stood from the chair. “You need to get some sleep.”

“Hmm,” was all Azriel could get out as you hauled him up from the chair, pulling him by the arm as you walked back inside the house. He wanted to protest, as he was perfectly content to sleep outside beneath the stars.

But it was hot out here, and there was an ungodly number of bugs swarming around his face.

You paused as you dragged him into the living room, pulling your hands away to lace them behind your back. “Uh…” you stammered, looking up at him sheepishly. “This is only a one-bedroom.”

Azriel focused his tired eyes on you as he forced himself to say, “It’s fine. I can sleep on the couch.” He had slept in worse places, and he was so exhausted, he would probably be able to sleep on the floor at this point.

“Alright,” you said as you walked over to a small door on the far wall. You opened it and pulled out a blanket and pillow. You offered it to him and said, “Here. If you need more, you can grab some from that closet.”

He took the bundle from your arms and stumbled over to the couch, situating himself amongst the cushions. It was small, and his long legs hung over the edge as he lay there, but it was comfortable. So comfortable that he struggled to say, “Thank you.” His voice was so quiet and full of sleep that he wasn’t sure if you heard him.

“For what?”

“For saving me.” Az truly was thankful. He didn’t want to think of where he would be if he had landed somewhere else in this world instead of on your front lawn. If he had landed with someone else instead of the compassionate human woman standing before him.

He waited for a few moments, expecting some snarky response that would no doubt take him by surprise. But you only said, “You’re welcome.” Your voice was tight, filled with an emotion he couldn’t place due to his fatigue.

As he nestled himself deeper into the plush cushions, the soft rustle of your footsteps toward the bedroom door caught his fading attention. “Goodnight,” he attempted to say, but the word tumbled out slurred, sounding more like “moodmight” than anything recognizable.

“Goodnight, Azzy,” you said with a laugh as you closed the door behind you.

Azriel closed his eyes, listening to the faint sounds of water running, a sign that you were also getting ready to sleep. He pulled the blanket up, ignoring the feeling of his bare feet being exposed to the cold air of the house.

As he drifted off, he thought back to the conversation with the artist, suddenly remembering what she had said about you.

 I’ve seen Y/N in my visions and dreams. They are… foggy to say the least, but it’s her.

That was what he needed to tell you. Oh well, he thought as his exhaustion overwhelmed any form of common sense. The peaceful darkness of sleep called to him, and he fell into it with open arms.

There was always tomorrow.

---

Somewhere in Prythian, Present Day

“I know it is her,” the female said, her voice full of venom and hatred. She looked over at her companion, a wicked smile forming on her face. “What shall we do?”

The male offered a malevolent smile back, his face contorting into a picture of malice and evil. “We must deal with her.”

The female hummed as she ran her finger along the edge of the mirror. Through the glass, she could see the city of New Orleans, the wretched humans walking along the streets, carrying on with their useless lives. “Yes,” she said, her voice growing distant. “We should.”

The male rolled his shoulders back, his grip tightening on the hilt of the sword sheathed at his waist. “Would you like me to kill her?” he asked. “I can get rid of her. Once I’m done with her,” he said with a depraved smile, “no one will know she even existed.”

The female pulled her hand away from the mirror, and she watched as the scene within the glass faded away. “No. Bring her to me.” She faced her companion, her armor rustling as she walked toward him. “I want to be the one to kill her. If I do not,” she said, her lips forming into a sneer, “that bitch will take everything from me. Everything we’ve been working for… It will be ruined.”

The male nodded once, but she could see the flash of anger in his eyes. “As you wish.” He started to turn away, focused solely on his new task.

“But,” the female called out, stopping him in his tracks, “deal with the shadowsinger. He could become a… problem.”

The male turned around and offered a graceful bow. “Consider it done, your grace.”

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@lovetia @bsenpai @anarchiii

[bennettmaximoff]

It’s still insane how that side of tvdu fandom vilifies Tyler for choosing to get revenge on the man that killed his mother and friends instead of staying with Caroline, all because they needed an excuse to make Klaus look like the better choice for Care. Which is insane because he has physically harmed Caroline and almost killed her, yet somehow him doing that isn’t terrible as Tyler growling at Caroline bc she slept with the man who tortured him and again, has killed his mother…

“Tyler slut shamed her”… when all he stated was that she slept with Klaus. Even in show, they have Stefan punching him and acting as if he said something egregious [Them completely forgetting all the times they have Caroline call other female characters sluts or insinuate it, but ofc the writers and fandom have selective memory when it comes to certain characters] when Tyler had the right to be upset over his girlfriend sleeping with the man who destroyed his life.

This is the same side that calls Bonnie a terrible friend because she didn’t immediately warm up to Caroline being a vampire. Even though Caroline had literally killed an innocent person—Even though Bonnie made her a daylight ring not too long after. But this is the TVD fandom we’re talking about, so of course black and poc character’s feelings are not an importance to them. It’s interesting how they are so quick to infantilize and baby white characters, yet the black/poc chars are supposed to easily move on from their trauma, deal with it, and prioritize their white counterparts over themselves.

[hananoami]

Misty Invasion

The New 5-Star Limited Rate UP Pool [Misty Invasion] Coming Soon

🤍Event Duration: Update on Aug. 7 – 4:59 AM, Aug. 27 (server time)

🤍Description

During the event, you can select three out of the four event-limited 5-Star Memories: [Xavier: No Restraint], [Zayne: Hidden Motive], [Rafayel: Omnipotent Perception], [Sylus: Lost Oasis]. The drop rate of the 3 Memories you selected will be significantly increased. Each time you obtain a 5-Star Memory, there's a 75% chance it will be one of the 3 Memories you selected.

During the event, you can change your selected Memories at any time. Each time you obtain a 5-Star Memory, the chance of obtaining the unselected event-limited Memory and other permanent 5-Star Memories will be 25%.

After the event ends, the four event-limited Memories will not be obtainable through other means and will not enter the permanent Wish Pool, Xspace Echo.

🤍Bonded Blessing: Wish Rewards

During the event, after making a certain number of Wishes, you can claim various rewards: At the 25th Wish, you can claim Universal Headwear: Velvet Bunny. At the 50/100/150th Wish, you can claim Deepspace Wish: Limited×5 each time. At the 75/125/175/225th Wish, you can choose to claim one love interest's Bathrobe Outfit each time. At the 200th Wish, you can choose one Memory among the four event-limited Memories: [Xavier: No Restraint], [Zayne: Hidden Motive], [Rafayel: Omnipotent Perception], [Sylus: Lost Oasis]. *Check the images below for details. The rewards are only available during this wish event.

🤍Limited-Time Memory Growth Bonus

During the event, by completing upgrade tasks of the four event-limited 5-Star Memories, you can claim various Upgrade and Ascension Materials. When the event-limited Memories reach Rank 1, you can claim the [special-color Bathrobe Outfit] for the corresponding love interest.

🤍About Wish Rules

All Limited Wish Pools share one pity system. A 5-Star Memory is guaranteed within a specific number of wishes. If the 5-Star Memory you have obtained from the Limited Wish Pool is not the event-limited Memory, you will obtain the event-limited Memory the next time you obtain a 5-Star Memory.

The pity count from the last Limited Wish Pool can be applied to this Limited Wish Pool, and pity count from this Wish Pool will also be applied to the upcoming Limited Wish Pool.

🤍About Precise Wish

During this event, you can use [Precise Wish] to choose one of the three selected event-limited 5-Star Memories. If your first 5-Star pull is not the one you choose with Precise Wish, then the next 5-Star Memory is guaranteed to be the one with Precise Wish.

Note:

After obtaining the 5-Star Memory you choose with Precise Wish, you can continue with your current Precise Wish choice or manually switch to a different event-limited Memory under the same rule.

Precise Wish can be manually changed or canceled. Please note that if you change or cancel your choice after obtaining a Memory which you didn't choose with Precise Wish, the Precise Wish Point will be reset, and you have to re-accumulate Wish Point to guarantee the next obtained 5-Star Memory to be the newly chosen one.

If no Precise Wish is made and where the 5-Star Memory obtained is not a limited 5-Star Memory exclusive to this event, your next 5-Star Memory will guarantee to be one of the three selected event-limited Memories. *You can read more about the event on the in-game rule page.

🎁First Top-Up Gift Reset

After the update on Aug. 7, the First Top-Up Gift for all Crystal packages in [Shop] will reset. For the first purchase of each Crystal package, you will receive an equal amount of bonus Diamonds.

🎁New Packs

During the event, the special [Aquatic Whisper Pack] and [Aquatic Reverie Pack] series will be available for purchase, which include the [Deepspace Wish: Limited] with a value price. Both [Deepspace Wish] and [Deepspace Wish: Limited] can be used for the Limited 5-Star Memory wishes, with the [Deepspace Wish: Limited] being prioritized for use. *After the event ends, [Deepspace Wish: Limited] will automatically convert to Empyrean Wishes.

[82mitsu]

{18Trip} Tidbit collection of producer, main director & scenario director interview with animate Times (story oriented)

Another rather long tidbit collection of my personal highlights from the 18TRIP interview from animate Times, featuring A3! producer Okita-san, main director Ishiguro-san and scenario director Fujii-san. 

This interview covers a lot of ground, but I selected the more story oriented parts to cover, due it being my own priority with 18TRIP.

These are paraphrased and not a direct translation, but I hope it will be interesting information either way!

Okita-san is in charge of supervision and general direction, he also has a hand in the scenario. Ishiguro-san is in charge of planning the game’s features, game design and system. Fujii-san is in charge of contents relating to the characters, and divides work with Okita-san relating to character plans and scenario plot. Fujii-san’s previous work was DREAM!ing where he took on a similar role, and Okita-san is the producer of A3 currently.

Context: DREAM!ing was a joseimuke mobile game by COLOPL. Inc. It went out of service in 2021. A3 is a joseimuke mobile game by LIBER, the same company as 18TRIP. 

The reason as to why Pony Canyon was chosen to develop the contents with (mainly events and music) is because it was a first thought that they’d be the most fitting. They also have a long working relationship and Okita-san knew the staff would have love for the contents. Pony Canyon itself also has a department focused around “area entertainment”, where it revolves bringing back life into local communities by working with contents and entertainment. Okita-san believes this also made Pony Canyon a good fit for 18TRIP as a kind of “regional revitalization project”. 

Context: Pony Canyon is a Japanese publisher and major lead in the music industry in Japan. It’s involved in a lot of anime and mixed media projects. 

The artist Oyo-sensei was both Okita-san and Fujii-san’s first pick for the art. Fujii-san was also passionately pushing the idea. As mentioned in the previous interview, Oyo-sensei was chosen due to their art style having a unisex appeal and talent for drawing backgrounds. Okita-san always imagined Oyo-sensei’s work for 18TRIP, so both of them are elated over how their first choice came true.

Yokohama was chosen as the main setting because it’s a place Okita-san is personally attached to. He has childhood memories from visiting Yokohama with his mother and going on short trips with his friends there. He thinks the accessibility is also nice, in addition to the atmosphere of being a port town and how the presence of Chinatown brings a different kind of color in your life. Yokohama is a place you can truly explore to your heart’s content, and he wanted to make it the main stage no matter what. The Nishi and Naka wards take the lead when it comes to sightseeing picks for Yokohama, but he wanted to make sure all 18 wards were included due each of them having their own charm. 

Okita-san’s personal pick for sightseeing in Yokohama is Zou-no-hana park, you can view many famous landmarks from there. The name means “Elephant’s nose”, which is fitting to how it’s pleasant to walk on the land stretching far out as if it’s an elephant’s nose.

18TRIP has 200 fully voiced stories, accessible at any point in time. Stories are divided as follows for all units: prologue, four chapters where it explores how each group is formed respectively, and epilogue. Further it’s divided by side A and side B, like a cassette tape. Side A has the members going on a study tour, where they face troubles and overcome them in the spirit of learning hospitality. It’s a feeling akin to a road movie, while side B is more about town revitalization. The cassette tape motif is also stretched further with how side A has the opening song, and side B the ending song. Including music videos. 

Context: A road movie is a film genre where characters leave home on a road trip, typically altering perspective from their everyday lives, as Wikipedia describes it. My first example would be Paul (2011), but I don’t ever watch movies so don’t take that as a recommendation.

The reason why something as cassette tapes is used, something from a bygone era, is to create a familiarity despite it being set in the modern future. Okita-san said it would feel rather alienating to have modern tech that was unfamiliar. Thus he relied on aspects we associate with the future today such as drones & holograms. In the setting of 18TRIP there’s a “Heisei Boom” for the nth time, thus retro stuff like pages and cassettes are trendy amongst the characters. Okita-san imagined that in a future where everything is convenient, people of the future might yearn for the novelty of inconvenient, analog devices.

Context: A western equivalent of a Heisei Boom would be the trend of y2k.

The following segment will cover Okita-san’s short summaries of each main group's story for their chapters.

Sun will R1ze!: This focuses on the Morning Squad. This group already starts out as mayor wards, a difference with the others. Each of them worked individually until the mysterious Murakumo Ten joined in and a unit was established. Each member has a profound emotional attachment to HAMA. However, as the main plot of the game goes, tourism in HAMA has been deteriorating. Their unit might be referring to morning but their story starts far away from dawn, eagerly waiting for morning to come. Renga has a complicated situation he can tell no one else about, and his growth will play a key point in this chapter. In terms of dynamics, Renga and Liguang, and then Kafka and Yukikaze both get on each other cases due to their own circumstances. With Ten’s easygoing aloof attitude being the cherry on top in terms of amusement. Okita-san hopes that you will be emotionally moved to laughter and tears from the relationships between these guys, which is described as everlasting sparks of fire.

Bitter Sweet Sixteen: This focuses on the Noon Squad, who are all highschool students. One night, there’s an incident where the old school building explodes, and the five people who happened to be there form a unit. A key point is why they were there during that explosion, and how it all falls into place once you come to know each of their circumstances. The focus lies on the identity of a 16 year old, the struggles of how you yet have to become “someone”, and the anguish held within your heart. Okita-san says that most players most likely experienced being 16, and hopes that you can experience the story as if you were back in the shoes of your 16 year old self. From the four stories, this one has a more “pop” & gag feeling to it. 

Chained Up Scarlet: This focuses on the Evening Squad, where all members are prisoners on a prison island surrounded by the ocean. The atmosphere is different here compared to the other stories, and the developments might be “hard” to read in terms of how the story is intertwined with other prison factions, Okita-san hopes it will be an enjoyable read nonetheless. By some strange turn of events, the prisoners are chosen to become idols for HAMA, with a natural backlash from the public. Besides being prisoners, the members all have one point in common: which is being scarred by the “scarlet sunset”. Okita-san wants you to pay attention to how these prisoners paint over their scars with their idol activities.

Designs of Happiness: This focuses on the Night Squad, and starts out with Ryui disappearing, and Toi asking you to go look for him. The leader’s disposition, Nagi, is far removed from being the one in charge. He’s more inclined to accept defeat when facing absurd situations. The story will focus on his growth as the leader. The story is also extravagant, in the way the timeline is messed up and has a challenging composition. Outside of the twins, the other members do not have a semblance of synergy with each other, but do share the common ground of “wondering what happiness is.” Okita-san hopes that each individual answer to that question will be something unforgettable to every reader.

Now a continuation of other bits of the interview.

As we know by now, the units are divided by the time of the day. Morning Squad functions as bringing dawn to HAMA who sunk to rock bottom, Noon Squad symbolizes youth in how bright the daytime can be, Evening Squad brings life to an ephemeral lonely dusk by putting on an idol live, and Night Squad serves as a beacon of light for anxious nights on the road.

All characters live in the “HAMA House”, a company dormitory that was formerly a Japanese inn (ryokan). There’s 24 people there total: all members, conductors, the player and the dog Shuumai. Each room is filled with personality and named after one of the Chinese zodiacs. The two persons' rooms are equally divided, but chaos arises with the three persons' rooms. An example of dorm dynamics: in Night Squad, the twins share a room with Netaro which leads to an unexpecting dynamic. The twins share a strong brotherly love with each other, and seeing Netaro get mixed up in the bubble these two create between each other is an interesting aspect. 

All of Night Squad’s have their own pet robots, due to each member running their own business. They serve as little helpers, and are even treated as friends or family. Robot pets are a common commodity for people who run a business, since they can be left in charge to run the store. Some people also like to have a pet robot. 

The rest of the interview is spent on the hospitality tower defense gameplay and various other system aspects. I personally covered all aspects that interested me enough to write it out like this, so I’m wrapping it up here.

If there’s demand, I’ll make another tidbit collection about the gameplay and system.

[theflashdriver]

A Thesis on the Touch of a Psychic (Silvaze)

Blaze couldn't help but glower at her reflection as her hands failed her for the sixth time this evening. Tonight had snuck up on her like a blissfully forgotten spectre, now resurrected from the recesses of her memory to stir up a panic from within. It was the last night of the year, an evening in which certain expectations were impressed upon the guardian of the Sol Emeralds.

In the great hall beneath the en suite where she now stood, a summit was well on its way to beginning. Despite the music and the dancing she knew to be present, the feline wouldn't dare to call the reception a party. Tonight was a night of formality, dining, speeches, and endless bureaucracy to mark the coming new year. Names would be announced upon arrival, toasts would be raised, and lectures would be given until throats were again in need for more toasts.

Those in attendance were the countless representative diplomats from the surrounding islands, their families, and special guests of interest including heads of shipping firms and other industrial tycoons. Frankly, Blaze knew there was more important work to be done than attending this farce; on the eastern coast a giant squid had been sighted, the cat was already brewing theories that it was some mechanical or otherworldly monstrosity that Eggman Nega had forced into her world. Unfortunately, being royalty carried with it certain expectations- for centuries her family had attended this dinner without fail. For that reason, and no other, she would attend tonight's event as she had those in years prior.

Tonight was an enforced break from reality; a fascinatingly pointless deviation from her true mission of defending her kingdom's isles. These truths, combined with her present predicament, had combined to plunge the princess into a rather foul mood. If tonight went without a yawn attempting to slip beyond her lips she would be more than surprised. The long evening was surely going to leave her dreary eyed, not that she was allowed to show it.

Again, perhaps due to her mental distraction, the feline's grasp did not prove sufficient; her hands found the edge of the sink before her as a vicious frown graced the bathroom mirror. The cat had been attempting to fasten the back of her dress for what felt like hours now; soon Gardon would rap on her bedroom door and enquire what was taking her so long. Certainly the words he'd use would be more proper, but they'd further the cat's frustration all the same.

Instead of a simple zip, whoever designed the frustrating collection of thread and fabric had deemed that a series of lace knots should be used to seal the back of the garb. Whoever had made that choice plainly hadn't ever had to fasten such a dress themselves. They'd purely been fixated on the aesthetics of a slightly exposed back contrasted by bows.

The dress wasn't truly awful, she had selected it in the hopes that it would allow her to battle should conflict arise (be it at the party or somewhere she would have to rush) while maintaining a certain level of decorum. Unfortunately, it appeared she had chosen poorly. The gown was loose flowing, with long sleeves that she'd thought would make her feel less exposed compared to others she'd historically stuffed herself into... but those very boons were only serving to make her fastening effort more difficult. The garb wrapped the majority of her body in a wine red colour, slit only to partially expose her right leg in exchange for bettered mobility. Perhaps she would burn herself free after this evening... no, regardless of her frustration, that would be much too wasteful.

"Silver!" She called through the bathroom door, "Can you come in here?"

The en suite door swung open, revealing the time traveling psychic. Since he'd arrived in her world, the hedgehog was gradually becoming better suited to the more peaceful times he now lived in. He was dressed in a manner she'd be far more comfortable with, a loose button up blue shirt and shorts.

The two of them had spent today in the royal gardens, primarily beneath a gazebo so that she could continue to work even while enjoying the outdoors. He had brought a picnic and a good head to bounce ideas off of. After much persuasion, he had managed to lead her into a spot of impromptu gardening to maintain the grounds. Even if she hadn't been destined for such a royal occasion, the outing would have prompted a shower regardless- but it had been made all the more quick and intense upon realising how late the day had drawn. Meanwhile, she could still see grass stains in his fur...

"I can't seem to fasten this dress," She informed him, "Could you..."

"Of course!" He beamed, helpful as ever.

The cat turned back to her reflection, standing straight and exposing her back to him completely. She'd expected to hear the whir of psychic energy, that the silk threads at her back would simply fasten themselves behind her back. Instead, the familiar sound of footsteps drawing close played in her ears.

In the mirror, she watched as the hedgehog strolled behind her to look quizzically at her exposed spine. Just as she was processing what he was about to do, the feline felt his heavy hands on the small of her back. Almost instinctively, her own grasp found the sink again as she leaned forward.

"This looks easy enough," She caught sight of his smile in the reflection, "I'm going to have to undo some of the knots you've already done, they're not using the right threads."

Fingers grazed deep, she felt her fur raise beneath his touch, "Do what you must."

Her left hand moved to her chest, hoping to keep the garb from slumping free of her shoulders. He was being gentle, but now his touch was slipping into the tight spaces she had previously sealed- his fingertips were grazing along her spine. The scene reflected before her was one that spiked her temperature; Silver had leaned down to match her posture, practically hunching parallel to her frame, looming over! She had to look down; her flushed face reflected in the shining metal of the sink's plug- was there no escape?!

"You were right, this is fiddly... give me a second," She felt one of his hands leave her only to return ungloved.

Blaze's tail bashed against his chest, straightening hard as she felt that bare hand tug the lace of her dress while the other left her back. She felt him catch the interfering appendage so very casually; Blaze was certain that now both his hands were ungloved. In a single, ever so simple, move, he adjusted her tail to coil over his shoulder and stepped even closer! She could feel his breath on the back of her neck, was he-

"So, it seems like it's going to be a long night," Silver's fingers had returned to her back, his fiddling resumed, "Are you going to be okay down there?"

Did he have to talk while he was doing this? Did he know how his breath felt on her ear? Did he really expect her to respond!?

"I'm fine, Silver," She grumbled, "Tonight is more akin to a ritual than it is anything else, a sacrifice of time and endurance of tedium for the greater good. I'll get through it as I have every prior stuffy reception."

As loose fabric bundled in her grasp, the cat felt his hold alter. Suddenly, he was drawing the halves of her dress together, surely lining up the holes and tassels to more directly feed into each other. It was sensible, it was practical, and it wasn't as if he was being rough... but, no matter how she rationalised, Blaze still couldn't help feeling flustered. She was the guardian and ruler of this entire dimension, he was her closest companion and trusted confidante; they'd battled monsters, lived through squalor, and changed history together! Why did she feel so vulnerable here, in her own bathroom, with his hands on her back?!

With each knot tied his touch grazed closer further up her back, fingertips and knuckles slid against her. Those touches sparked memories of the other times he'd used his hands on her. In the afterglow of battle, once their foes had fallen, they would bandage each other and fuss over the countless wounds they had sustained. Huddling in the back of a mostly destroyed library, letting the hedgehog wrap torn cloth around her ribs to staunch the blood drawn by a monster's gouging claws, that was true vulnerability- not this! She was strong here, unharmed and refreshed!

Blaze felt the dress lighten in her grasp and couldn't help but glance to the mirror before them. Silver really was as close as he felt, practically straddling her backside as he worked his way up, and yet he still looked entirely at ease. She couldn't see how far up her dress he'd managed to seal, but by his touch she knew he was just over half-way up her back. The psychic's broad shoulders were framing her slighter form, his still slightly sullied fur contrasted against the dress set to be worn for the first time.

Silver's constant contact echoed in her mind. Was he trying to leave a crease in her fur? He was being so thorough, it was as if-

His eyes had caught hers, had he looked so comfortable this whole time? Had his smile grown when their gazes locked? The cat's returned her attention to the empty sink beneath her.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked.

"I'm certain," She lied.

Regardless of how gruff Blaze thought she had sounded, the hedgehog continued to work diligently. His hands did briefly leave her back, but she knew that this wasn't the end. The shoulders of the dress had been misaligned since he'd untied what few knots she'd managed prior. He pulled the red sleeves up to better fit against her clavicle, his wrist brushed against her neck.

Were his fingers lingering on her collar, at the fabric border? Her eyes returned to the mirror only to catch a small, rather perplexed, frown staring back at her. The hedgehog's heavy hands dipped down her front catching the lapels of her dress. He slid his hands up, straightening the front of the garb before pulling up to have it fit more smoothly against her shoulders.

"There," She saw his smile return, "That looks better."

"Just focus on the back," The cat fizzed, "I can handle the rest myself."

"Okay," He hummed, hands slipping back again, "Maybe, when things get going down there I'll be able to sneak in? You know, while everyone's focused on your speech or something?"

"You will do no such thing," She heard herself growl as she failed to maintain some inkling of composure.

A measure of regret tainted his muzzle, his eyes quickly lowered from the mirror to her back. No further words came in the wake of her insistence, she'd felt him hesitate but the knotting had quickly resumed. It wasn't that she didn't want him there, his presence would surely have made the night's bureaucracy pass faster, but this was a meeting of the elite. For her to bring along what was to them a commoner, let alone an uncouth otherworldly outsider, would surely cause a scandal.

His fingers kept hitching on the tie between the top of her shoulder blades, a grumble rolled from his throat. Why was he struggling now of all times? Was it the change in her temperament? Had he finally noticed how intimate this all actually was?

A sigh slipped through her lips, "I'm sorry Silver. Tonight is weighing on me more heavily than I thought..."

"Don't worry about it," He finally managed to tie that knot, "I shouldn't have even brought up the idea, it's not like I'm hard to identify," She looked up to find him looking off in thought, "Slipping into a butler's uniform probably wouldn't have been enough..."

"There are already enough rumours about you among the people, we don't want to pique any more curiosity," Two ties remained.

"There are rumours about me?" Did he truly not know? "Like what?"

"We don't have enough time to discuss that," She wasn't prepared to delve into the torrid imaginings of others while posed like this, "But perhaps we can use this as an opportunity to better things..."

"Better things?" One tie remained.

"Go to the eastern beach tonight," Blaze instructed him, "Watch the ocean. If you see anything unusual, then you have my express permission to enter the ballroom and whisk me away."

"I can do that, no problem!" Finally, the back of her dress was sealed, "That's the last knot tied."

The cat finally rose to her full height, taking in her reflection. The dress did feel like too much; while the long sleeves were intended to make her feel less exposed, its shining ruby coloured floral detailing was certain to draw attention. She'd picked it to match the gem on her forehead and usual hair-tie, hoping that would make this all feel more regular... but that plainly hadn't worked. To contrast, the hedgehog behind her still looked physically disheveled but infinitely more comfortable- both in mind and body.

She finally turned to him properly, "Thank you for doing this, Silver."

Their eye-contact broke, his stare tumbled away, "It's no problem, any time."

Why had that simple, minor, praise fluster him more than the position she'd put him in?! He'd been leaning over her, hands practically dancing across her back, freely gliding his fingers through her fur, but a simple thank you had done so much more to him. She knew this was how he worked, that he'd always taken praise poorly, but for modest kindness to so thoroughly trump physical contact was still so bizarre to her.

"Oh, wait," He stepped closer to her once more, practically pinning her back against the sink.

His arm slipped behind her and the cat's temperature skyrocketed, "What are you-

He pulled back to reveal the golden necklace she so often wore around her neck, "Do you want me to help you with this too?"

She could fasten it herself, she had countless times, "If you wouldn't mind…"

An impulse had betrayed her. Without so much as another word the hedgehog was again leaning past her, this time neck to neck and front to front. She felt his chest fur brush her muzzle as he began to fiddle with the clasp. Again, this was another act he could so easily have performed with his power! Instead he had chosen to get close; could he not feel the heat flagging from her? Was he just cold?!

"There, now you're ready," He casually said into her ear as he pulled back.

The awkwardness had fully vanished, Silver was back to beaming.

"You're so naive..." A knock at the door spun their heads, but she quickly returned to him, "Stay here, wait until I'm gone, then drift out the window. Make sure no one sees you."

He silently nodded as she slipped away from the bathroom, shutting the door to her back and not daring to throw another glance back at him. If all went as planned, she had seen him for the last time this evening. Now she had to focus! Blaze gathered a stack of papers from her desk, slipped on her heels, and made for the door.

Gardon was revealed on the other side, "Your highness, the guests are awaiting your arrival."

"Then it is time I joined them," She shut the door behind her, locking it, "Have there been any issues thus far?"

As she started to make her way down the halls, the koala followed, "No issues so far, what small discomfort I have noticed will surely be alleviated by your arrival."

Rather than speak further with her advisor and consider what small discomforts he had identified, Blaze couldn't help but dwell upon the hedgehog presently escaping her room. Silver hadn't needed to touch her, he could have done all he had to do from her bedroom even. She'd watched him undo locks with a wave, it wasn't as though the task of tying knots was too complex.

For a psychokinetic like him, every physical action was a choice, wasn't it? Every touch could be replaced with a psychic one, most born of mere thought rather than even so much as a gesture. He could have been reading or planning or doing almost anything while simultaneously helping her dress. Instead the hedgehog had devoted his full focus to that task, removing his gloves when it proved difficult rather than concede and use his power.

Was she being foolish? She didn't question why Silver would walk rather than float or run his fingers through his chest fur as he pondered. How was tonight any different? He had taken her hand countless times, wrapped her bandages physically, and even carried her to bed when nights dragged much too late. Had he consciously chosen those countless acts too? Had he even considered using his power tonight?

Was it natural to him to be physical with her? What did that imply? If Amy had asked for help with a dress, would he have done the same? Blaze couldn't imagine it. Certainly Amy would have had the gall to tell him to just use his powers. Why hadn't she done that? For all her questioning of his actions; her own inaction was just as baffling, she hadn't so much as considered asking him to stop and instead work telekinetically. She was royalty, she wasn't supposed to be handled so-

"Your highness?" Gardon's voice halted her train of thought.

"Yes?" She turned to her advisor.

"I asked if you feel prepared for this evening? If required, I could delay your arrival for a little longer," Gardon offered, "You seem to be more than a little lost in thought."

"No, I'm fine Gardon," She could see the doors to the great hall ahead, "It is best that I attend as quickly as possible."

With no more than a nod the koala scurried ahead, grasping the doorhandles in preparation to announce her arrival. Blaze brushed off her shoulders and strode forward, steeling her expression. She sucked a deep breath through her nose and closed her eyes as Gardon pushed open the entryway.

"Now announcing the arrival of her majesty Princess Blaze," The cat felt countless eyes turn in her direction from the ballroom below, "Ruler of the realm and Guardian of the Sol Emeralds!"

Music and endless claps rang loud, the cat opened her eyes and began her descent down spiralling stairs; there was a sea of overdressed people beneath her. Even as the noise enveloped her, even as she hardened her brows and began to make pleasantries, the feeling of her dress hugging at shoulders and hips toyed with her attention. That sensation, catalysed by the placement of knots down her back, endlessly kept Silver's chosen contact at the forefront of her mind. It was as if he was still hanging so close, brushing against her fur...

This was going to be a long evening.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month - July 2023: AlwaysMyChoices

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @alwaysmychoices. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: AlwaysMyChoices Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? May

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I started playing The Royal Romance in December 2017. I have no idea how I found the app, but I was obsessed with that story. My memories from this time are super vague -- I know there was a connection between Cordonia being based on Montenegro and Croatia (two countries I studied abroad in the next summer), a well-placed advertisement, and a Christmas vacation where I was snowed in with too much time on my hands.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the fandom in January 2018 because I desperately needed to talk about the Royal Romance. I didn’t have any friends who played (and was embarrassed to share), so I started off liking posts from my “real” account (which was a Sims account) and then made this as a “side blog.” Later, that Sims account got abandoned, which is why all of my likes come from a different Tumblr.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

I had three criteria -- it needed to be (1) somewhat punny, (2) dramatic and angsty, and (3) tangentially related to the game. Though I was a Royal Romance stan, I wanted to give myself room for growth, so I didn’t name my account anything to do with the book. The name I really wanted was taken, so I settled for AlwaysMyChoices. But honestly, I love it now.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

My first post is expressing my disappointment that the Royal Romance’s Book 2 wasn’t angsty enough -- and that perfectly sums up my account. Four days later, I posted my first Choices fanfic.

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

13 years. I started writing in 2010 on Fanfiction.net for Percy Jackson. I was very, very young, and it shows in those initial works -- which is pretty ironic because this was the phase in my fanfiction career where I had the most success. I got millions of views on some of those stories, and they’re objectively terrible. After about six or seven years on that website, I went to college and ended up taking a hiatus. I wasn’t inspired to write anymore, which was pretty devastating at the time. Finding Choices brought back my passion for writing fanfiction.

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

Here’s the thing -- I love Open Heart, but The Royal Romance has to be the best. Are there flaws? Definitely. Did the series go off the rails? Eventually, yes. But TRR understood pining. It knew that the readers wanted tender moments with LIs, but they also wanted pain. We wanted tropes, but we didn’t want it to feel tired. We wanted incredible supporting cast members where even the tiniest background player was well-crafted and interesting (and the villain was iconic). We wanted growth and well-structured arcs, and surprising twists. Plus, the LIs checked all the boxes -- the prince bound by duty, the lover’s best friend, the supportive friend turned lover and the woman who had been through pain but always saw the best in people. I wish I could go back and relive that magic.

At the time, I loved writing about TRR, too, but I’ll admit that Ethan Ramsey was made for angsty fanfiction.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

My first fanfic for Choices was “Come to Bed.” This was when I still wrote in the first person, which feels like a lifetime ago. As for my thoughts, it’s fine. I wouldn’t do anything differently, but I also probably wouldn’t publish it. When it comes to my Choices fics, my biggest complaint is that they’re often too tied to a moment. I wrote them because I read a chapter in whatever book, felt overcome with emotion and inspiration, and put that into my word processor. They’re my reactions more than a story, and aside from a few angsty quotes or steamy scenes, I generally forget about them when the moment passes.

To be honest, I totally forgot about “Come to Bed.” I thought my first story was “Prove it,” a much steamier TRR story. 

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

A Weekend with Dr. Ramsey is my legacy in this fandom, and I’m happy with that. I’m proud of that series. But if it had to be a single fic, it’s either “Him” or “Never Had a Chance.” Both are pairings I don’t often write (Ethan x Tobias and MC x Drake, respectively), and both stories focus on these grand, explosive loves that burn up too quickly but eventually settle into comfortable, platonic admiration. It’s the kind of love that lingers long after the romance has died. 

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

I never expected my Ethan & F!MC "Calling to Say I’m Marrying Someone Else” headcanon to blow up. That was such a pleasant surprise, and I love it to this day. As this fandom has dwindled, engagement naturally decreased, but I have to admit I hoped for a bit more love on “You’re a Devil.” Sexy pining at a Halloween party? The color red symbolizes danger and decadence they can’t accept? I still think it’s great.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Angst. I love reading fluff and smut, but I’m really in the zone when I’m writing angst. For me, that’s when characters become something bigger than an idea -- they’re growth and change and cathartic and tragic and triumphant. If I never wrote angst again, I don’t know how I’d ever find that feeling anywhere else.

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Oh yeah. My MCs are generally versions of me with some exaggerated character flaws -- pride for Collins, indecision, and stubbornness for Charlie. I’m not as messy as my MCs, but at my core, I think I want to be.

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Consistency. My issue has always been finding that inspiration and holding on to it. I’m very dependent on the “flow” of writing. When I’m in it, everything is easy -- the dialogue is effortless, the descriptions are perfect, and the pacing is impeccable. When I’m not in it, I’ll write the same thing over and over until I give up. I have a bad habit of letting inspiration come in all-consuming waves without any safety net of pacing or discipline. If I burn out or get distracted, it’s all over.

Oh, and length. Those stories are always way too long.

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Omg, yes, all of it. I need to finish With and Without, but I know I’ll be devastated when I do. Then, there are the dozens of notes on my phone, reminding me of all these new stories I’ve abandoned.

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

I am super weird about keeping my fanfic life separate from my real life. It is a barrier I very rarely break, but when I have broken it, I’ve run into the same problems -- because it’s fanfiction, I give no exposition. So, if you’re reading it without any fandom knowledge, you’re lost. With that in mind, I think I would give them a quick recap and then give them “A Weekend with Dr. Ramsey.” It would kill me to be that vulnerable, but I think it’s the best reflection of this account. 

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing? 

So many! Particularly in the fandom, I’ve learned from so many creators. Early on, I remember @boneandfur and @heauxplesslydevoted were such big TRR influences for me. So many amazing creators have deactivated -- even someone who taught me my entire bullet point format for HCs. Now, I’d say I’m pretty inspired by @jerzwriter, @terrm9, @utterlyinevitable, @the-pale-goddess, @mvalentine, and @queenbirbs. I’m definitely forgetting so many amazing people!

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

I would love to see A Weekend With Dr. Ramsey adapted into a mini-series with a devastating ending. 

17- Do you write original fiction? 

Yes, but not as often as I wish. Fanfiction has always been easier for me because I have somewhere to share it. Without that, I find I end up losing steam and forgetting about it. I do, however, have a phone full of story ideas, and one day, I’m determined to do them justice.

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

I am a big reader, an occasional bullet journaler, a dog lover, a movie buff, and a fan of British mystery shows. 

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

The eyes emoji 👀It’s one of those amazing emojis that adds nuance to a text, and I use it way too often.

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

____ I am truly so grateful to be part of this fandom. I know I’m not good at being in the fandom -- I disappear, I suck at answering, etc. But I truly love this group and am so happy to be part of it.

[deepspacedukat]

Compromise

This is it! The final installment of the SoC Challenge! 🥳 I know it's been a wild ride, but thank you so much to everyone who stuck with me through all this chaos! All of your encouragement and kind words have really been so uplifting, and I couldn't have made it through without you, my gentle readers!

So, a little context: this is an AU version of my OC, Kollos, when he was still a Minister of the High Command. This is not connected to any other story about him that I have written/will write. This is set in the ST:ENT part of the timeline prior to the incident with the Kir'Shara, and from what I gathered, there are somewhere between five and seven members of the High Command (four to six Ministers, plus one Administrator). That number could be incorrect, but from watching the show/scrolling through Memory Alpha casting info, this was the impression given. Anyway, enjoy this final installment of the 2023 SoC! Thanks for dropping by!

Day 31: Free Choice - Multiple Orgasms, Creampie, Facial, Come Swallowing

SoC prompt list here. SoC Masterlist here. Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Entire Vulcan High Command (ENT Era) x Reader, Administrator V'Las (ST:ENT) x Reader, Minister Kuvak (ST:ENT) x Reader, Minister Kollos (OC) x Reader, Other Unnamed High Command Ministers x Reader

[A/N: This is smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Everything is consensual!!!! Interspecies sex, Human/Vulcan sex, oral sex (male receiving), voyeurism, masturbation, spit-roasting, multiple orgasms, creampie, come swallowing, facial, Vulcans becoming aroused in a completely logical manner.

~*~

Apprenticeships like this were practically unheard of. A Human student being allowed to train under a Vulcan scientist at the most prestigious academy on all of Vulcan was a first. I could hardly believe that out of all the applicants for the position, I'd been one of the three selected for this honor.

For two years, I lived and worked at the Vulcan Science Academy. T'Van, the Professor with whom I'd been studying and working, had been reluctant to participate in the program when he found out that he'd be paired with a Human student. As time passed, however, I'd proven myself to be intelligent and dedicated to my work.

T'Van pulled me aside a couple of months before I was scheduled to return to Earth to express his concerns.

"I cannot offer you an extension myself. However, I will encourage you wholeheartedly to request one from the Academy's Board of Directors. It would be...inconvenient to train a new apprentice," T'Van murmured, and I couldn't stop a small smile from stretching my lips.

"You can admit that you'd miss me, y'know. There's no harm in finding the absence of another being displeasing, especially one you've come to think of as a friend." He lifted an eyebrow at my insinuation, and to my surprise, he nodded his head.

"It would be...logical...to assume that your absence would be disconcerting. I have become accustomed to you," he admitted as he practically shoved a data PADD under my nose. "This is the correct set of forms required to request an extension. I have already affixed my signature in the appropriate places and taken the liberty of setting an appointment for you with the Board tomorrow morning."

"T'Van–"

"As you are only scheduled to be here for another two months, I trust I needn't remind you that time is of the essence." With that, he swept from his office, leaving me to ponder what exactly I needed to say to persuade the Academy's Directors that I deserved to stay.

--

The next morning came both too quickly and not quickly enough for my tastes. I said my piece with as much eloquence as I could muster, hoping that I'd done well enough to avoid an immediate rejection.

"You have some interesting theories, t'sai, and your accomplishments are not in question. However," the Vulcan in the middle of the group steepled his fingers as he spoke, "we do not have the authority to grant you an extension in this instance. Our receptionist will provide you with the correct set of forms that you will require to present your request to those whose authority exceeds our own. Should you be successful, the Vulcan Science Academy will be agreeable to your continued presence. Live long and prosper, t'sai."

The next group of officials I spoke with responded in nearly the exact same way, acknowledging my accomplishments, giving their apologies, and shunting me off to the department above theirs to become someone else's problem. After three more such instances, I was quite used to the placating words and abrupt dismissals that punctuated each of these meetings.

As my quest for an extension continued, I found more and more people looking at me in the hallways of the Academy. I had been an interesting sight to the Vulcan students and professors before given that I was a different species, but the day before my final meeting nearly two weeks later, I caught a phrase that made my eyes widen.

"...believe her next appeal will be to the High Command," a Vulcan woman said to her companion as T'Van and I walked through the hall to his office.

As soon as the door was closed behind us, I blurted my thoughts in a panic.

"What did that woman mean about the High Command?"

T'Van looked up from his desk with a raised eyebrow.

"You have exhausted all other bodies of authority. Your next appointment to request an extension is with the council of the High Command tomorrow. Were you unaware?"

After the professor's casual statement, the rest of the day was a blur. Right up until I got into the elevator in the building that housed the High Command's office, I felt a sort of detached calm as though it wasn't really me who was going to be speaking with the heads of the Vulcan government.

"You're the woman who's requesting an extension, right?" I turned to find a perky, blond woman standing next to me in the elevator. She was clearly Human, like me, and I felt a dim sort of comfort.

"Yes, but how did you...?"

"I work as a secretary to Ministers Kuvak and Kollos. My own assignment was supposed to be temporary, but here we are," she said waving a hand airily. "May I make a suggestion?"

I nodded my head, and she pulled a small bottle from the pocket of her robe.

"None of the Ministers are in happy marriages. They were all arranged for political gain or social status by their parents. Your best bet for getting that extension would be an appeal to their pride...and a little flirtation. A spritz or two of this pheromone enhancer wouldn't hurt, either," she said. "They're a tough room, but the few times I've seen them interacting with women who aren't their wives...well, let's just say they were much more agreeable with a little ego-stroking."

I accepted the spritz of seemingly-odorless liquid, and as the door opened to our floor, I couldn't help but let my curiosity rule my tongue.

"Thank you. I'm grateful, really, but why are you doing this?" I asked quietly as we walked down the long hallway toward a pair of thick double doors.

"Because, I know what it's like to deal with this planet's bureaucracy. It's a pain in the ass, and when we spoke to set up your appointment, I couldn't help but notice that you sounded a bit frazzled," she murmured as the doors hissed open.

There were a few desks in this space, two of which were currently occupied. A third stood empty to one side of the room, and it seemed to be my companion's destination. Not exactly knowing where to go, I opted to follow her. Setting my stack of PADDs down on an empty corner, I allowed myself a short pause to gather my thoughts and my courage.

Admittedly, the thought of flirting with the Ministers to better my chances had crossed my mind - Vulcans were quite attractive - but before Jana suggested it, I had dismissed that as a possible solution. Surely people in such important positions would be even more stoic and disgusted by such blatant attention?

"Alright, the Ministers are ready for you now. Good luck." How long had I been standing there lost in thought? Mentally shaking away my nerves, I strode to the door leading to the council chamber and watched as it slid open before me.

"Come in, t'sai," a surprisingly warm voice called from the center of the large room that lay before me. A tall, broad Vulcan man with graying hair stood behind a long, highly-polished desk. I recognized him as Minister Kollos from the rather hurried research I'd done the night before.

He took his seat along with the other four Vulcans, only two of whom I recognized. Administrator V'Las, a harsh-looking Vulcan sat dead center, and to his other side was Minister Kuvak. The two younger Vulcans flanking the two ends of the desk were a mystery, though. I remembered their faces, but I couldn't quite put names to those faces.

"We have convened to hear your appeal for an extension of the duration of your apprenticeship with Osu T'Van at the Vulcan Science Academy," Administrator V'Las called as he folded his hands in front of him. "You may begin when ready."

Taking a deep breath as I walked farther into the room, I launched into the speech I'd given repeatedly over the past two weeks. handing each of them a data PADD with the relevant information as I spoke, I made my statement as quickly and concisely as possible.

"Your accomplishments cannot be denied, but forgive me...it sounds as though you have rehearsed this several times," Kuvak said with a hint of amusement sparkling in his eyes.

"Ah, that would be the result of having given that speech to five groups before you. Administrator, Ministers, I was hoping that, given your combined wisdom and logic, this little request of mine could be sorted out rather easily," I said giving the most attentive of them all, Kollos, a small, hopeful smile. "You are my last hope. Surely there's a way we can resolve this situation today...?"

Truthfully, I was probably being a little too obvious with my praise, but in my social encounters with Vulcans, I found that it was sometimes necessary to lay it on a bit thicker than normal. I could have been imagining things, but I could have sworn that a faint, green blush was rising in his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

"T'sai, we have already heard and denied the appeals of both the other candidates from your selection pool," Administrator V'Las intoned from his seat at the center of the long table. His cold, steely blue eyes watched dispassionately as I took a steadying breath. "What makes you believe that we should rule differently in regards to your case?"

Okay. Okay, not all hope was lost. The other two apprentices were men. I was familiar with them and their unfortunate personalities. They likely came in here brimming with arrogance and puffed-up theories which had no logical basis. They likely assumed that they would be granted the extension they sought once the Ministers recognized their brilliance. I needed to use a different tactic.

"I have no logical reason to believe that I deserve to stay more than the others. I do, however, believe that this council is wise enough to distinguish between a theory concocted of assumptions and one based on solid research. Each of you gentlemen has an achievement-filled career prior to your current appointment. To accomplish everything that you have and also serve your people in so selfless a manner...I must admit that I admire your dedication," I stated, allowing my eyes to skim over each in turn. Minister Kuvak looked practically stunned. "I only hope that one day, I will be able to say that I attained even a fraction of your success, and I firmly believe that my continued apprenticeship with Osu T'Van will be instrumental in giving me the best chance at accomplishing that lofty goal."

There was silence for a long, tense moment, then came the rustling of fabric. Minister Kollos stood and made his way around the polished wooden table, pausing only a few feet in front of me. How was one man that broad? His robes were clearly tailored to hug his figure closely, but really, the further reminder of how much he towered over me made my breath hitch.

"You present a convincing argument, t'sai," he said in a voice as deep and smooth as top-shelf whiskey. "We will deliberate and inform you tomorrow of our decision."

Wait, it was over already? Throwing caution to the wind, I took a few slow steps closer to him and bit my lower lip.

"Thank you for your consideration, osu, but...is there anything more that I could do to convince you to decide in my favor?" I asked looking up at him and batting my eyelashes as my fingertips brushed lightly over the back of one of his hands. Kollos's eyes widened, but he didn't protest or move away. His jaw clenched, and his gaze darkened significantly. "Anything at all...?"

"T'sai...you needn't feel pressured to take such actions," Kollos stated, but he didn't move away. The other Ministers likely had a good view of how scandalously I was touching a member of the Vulcan government.

"We would likely rule in your favor regardless of your personal persuasion," Kuvak called, but despite the concern on his face, there was hunger lingering in his gaze, as well.

"If she feels the need to seduce us to make certain of our decision, who are we to stop her? Proceed, if you wish." Administrator V'Las posited as he leaned back in his chair. Minister Kollos's free hand turned my head back toward him and he looked somberly into my eyes.

"You don't have to do this." His voice was barely above a whisper, but the vehemence in his voice made up my mind for me. The two younger Ministers who sat at either end of the long table seemed to have no opinion on the matter, choosing instead to defer to the wisdom of the three more experienced members of the High Command.

"I want to, osu," I replied firmly, and in a flash, Kollos had spun me around, pressed my back against his front, and curled his fingers with mine.

"Are you quite certain that you know what you are doing?" Kuvak called as he shifted in his seat. "Humans are fragile–"

Kollos's warm breath caressed my neck, and a quiet moan escaped me. Any further protests Kuvak might have had were silenced and replaced with slow, hungry exhales.

I vaguely noted one of the younger Ministers ordering the whole council's schedule cleared for the next two hours.

"Is this what you originally planned to do when you made this appointment with us, girl?" V'Las called as he stood and made his way over to us. I couldn't bring myself to answer. Kollos's hands had already begun to wander, divesting me of my robes and exploring my curves as his colleagues watched. "Look at me."

Opening my eyes - I hadn't even realized that I'd closed them - I found the head of Vulcan High Command breathing heavily and palming the growing bulge in the front of his robes. Once I was fully nude between them, V'Las freed his erection and guided one of my hands to grasp him.

"Make yourself useful, then," he growled, and I looked up at him as innocently as I could.

"Wouldn't you prefer my mouth?" Both men let out a groan, and soon I was speared between them. The broad-shouldered Minister Kollos thrust into me from behind, grasping my hips tightly so I wouldn't fall, and Administrator V'Las grasped my hair, pushing himself farther and farther into my throat.

Moaning around the lok in my mouth, I fell apart when Minister Kollos rubbed my clit in quick, deliberate circles. V'Las practically shouted his release moments later, shoving himself deeper in my throat as he came.

When he finally pulled away, Kuvak appeared before me looking both concerned and aroused.

"Are you alright?" He murmured, but instead of answering, I pressed a soft kiss over his own clothed erection. After a split second's indecision, he began fumbling to free himself. Grasping his hand as I took him into my mouth, I relished the skill in Minister Kollos's fingers.

He brought me to orgasm twice more before he spilled himself. Kuvak came a moment after him, and I swallowed his pleasure. The sound of hurried footsteps made me open my eyes. The two youngest Ministers, who had until a moment before been stroking their lengths to the show before them, now stood in Kuvak's place and groaned as erupted.

Hot ropes of their come splattered across my cheeks, and after a few quiet murmurs of gratitude, it was over. Kollos helped me to my feet, handing me a cloth to clean my face. I was attempting to replace my clothing in some semblance of the order it had been in prior to our tryst when V'Las spoke.

"T'sai, I think I speak for all of us when I say that should you need any other requests granted in future, you need only come to us and we shall ensure that you are not refused," he paused, "assuming that we have more sessions like today's, of course."

Kollos laid his hand lightly on my shoulder.

"You are not obligated to agree to that. We would grant your requests whether or not we repeat today's activities," he said with a glance of reproach at the Administrator.

"And you will receive your official extension notice this evening," one of the two younger Ministers called.

"I appreciate your concern, Ministers, but I'd be more than happy to come back do this again," I replied. They all seemed rather pleased to hear that.

As I made my way back toward the elevator, a familiar head of blond hair appeared next to me. Jana looked like the cat who got the canary. Clearly she'd guessed what happened.

"I'm just going to assume you're getting that extension. So...knowing how much the Ministers appreciate a steady routine, should I set up an appointment for the same time next week?"

~*~*~

Vulcan Words:

t'sai = lady (title)

osu = sir (title)

~*~

Taglist:

@akamitrani @android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes @emilie786 @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee

[caffedrine]

This is just a very quick and dirty plot summary from chapters 21-23 of the romantic route. Lots of spoilers, I'm leaving out a lot of information, and there's no guarantee that it's accurate.

I made it so that I could follow along with the plot, keep track of the mysteries, and a few of the interesting scenes.

Spoilers for Gilbert's route

Spoilers, Spoilers, Spoilers

Emma realizes that Gilbert knew everything before they even met. He knew who she was, that she was selected as Belle, and that he only had one month to live. His reasons for doing everything he has done still a mystery to her.

Emma wakes up in Gilbert’s bed, with his arms around her. She remembers sitting by his bed while he recovered the previous night, and surmised that after he was stable, she must have fallen asleep. At some point, Gilbert must have pulled her into bed.

Emma has a choice, she can reveal that she knows Gilbert’s most deadly secret, or she can lie and pretend ignorance. Looking back over all their conversations, one thing that stands out is how much Gilbert hates lies. Whatever it is that’s going on between them won’t survive without absolute candor.

The emotion drains from Gilbert’s face, and he tells her that this was her choice. He straddles Emma, pinning her to the bed and begins strangling her. He tells her that this is a matter of national security, and Emma is no exception to his vow to kill anyone who knows he’s dying.

Emma claws at his hands and promises that she won’t tell anyone. Gilbert tells her that he long ago promised himself that he wouldn’t trust anyone, wouldn’t love anyone.

As he strangles Emma, she thinks that rather than cold and emotionless, he looks more and more in pain, as if he was the one being strangled. Emma was nominated as Belle, for her ability to read people. And despite the hands crushing her throat, she still doesn’t believe that Gilbert can kill her.

When Emma loses consciousness, Gilbert stops, burring his face against her shoulder. Everyone betrays him in the end, even Emma. Still, he can’t bring himself to kill her.

Emma has a strange dream that feels like a memory. The bookstore owner, Akatsuki, is telling her about a boy he knows. The boy is smart, sweet, and kind. He is the first one to help people and cheer them up without a thought of his own happiness. Little Emma thinks this boy sounds amazing and she wants to grow up to be just like him. After all, she also loves making people happy.

When Emma regains consciousness, Walter is shouting at Gilbert. He wants to know what the hell Gilbert was thinking, trying to kill the woman he’s in love with. Gilbert corrects him, this isn’t love, it’s hate. Walter wonders why he’s bothering to try to reason with a man as twisted as Gilbert.

Gilbert and Walter play the blame game with each other, with Walter asking why Gilbert even bothered to bring Emma to Obsidian if he intended to keep this secret from her. Gilbert just laughs.

They realize that Emma is conscious again, and she finds that she’s been moved to her room. Thankfully, there was no long-term damage, but her throat will be bruised. He has a topical ointment for it, but Gilbert decides he will apply it. He pushes Walter out of Emma’s room, promising that he’ll try not to kill her.

Gilbert begins to apply the ointment to Emma’s throat, pretending not to notice her flinch. Emma asks why he didn’t kill her back then.

Gilbert is going to give her a choice. She can spend the rest of her life trapped at his side, or he can finish the job. Which would she prefer?

If she stays with him, she will never be permitted to leave Obsidian, much less the castle. Gilbert has no intention of news of his illness spreading, much less people thinking it’s liked to his death. If the symbol of terror, the Obsidian Royal Family were to die too soon or too gently, then the corruption he has fought to eliminate will return and spread.

Emma asks if this means he’ll get the treatment Walter told her about - the one that will save his life.

Gilbert is upset that Emma knows about the treatment, and that he’s been refusing it. With a grimace, he tells her that he’ll go through with the treatment - if she agrees to kill him later.

Emma demands to know how that even makes sense. To Gilbert it makes perfect sense - he cannot be allowed to live in the new age where the weak have overthrown the nobility. 

Emma recalls Gilbert warning her that it is nearly impossible to change people’s values. She knows that, and she knows that she’s nothing special, she can’t convince Gilbert to give up his ideals. But still . . . 

Gilbert tells her that she has other things she should worry about instead of him. Now that she’s made her choice, she won’t be able to attend the signing ceremony.

Emma asks who the new proxy will be, but Gilbert shakes his head, it was her or no one. That road is now closed to them, and this will just be one more promise Obsidian has reneged on, proof that this country cannot be trusted.

Besides, her princes in Rhodolite will have their hands full soon enough with a civil war. Now that her role has ended, Gilbert has no reason to delay his plans anymore. 

A few nights ago, Gilbert gave Emma the prototype gun. But that wasn’t the only one he had made, and he has distributed the weapons to the rebel anti-Royal groups. The only thing he was holding back was the ammunition required to use them. 

The bullets are made and ready to be distributed among the groups, all waiting on Gilbert’s go ahead.

He was waiting to see if Emma could use her ideals to bridge the gap between the rebel factions and those in charge, but that chance died last night. 

Gilbert stands up to leave and put his plan into action, but Emma jumps on his back, restraining him.

She asks why he was waiting this long - from what he said he could have sent Rhodolite into a civil war at any moment. Why wait? He knows the longer he waits, the more time the princes have to thwart his plans.

Maybe Gilbert doesn’t want a bloody civil war. Even with his ideology of raising the weak and overthrowing the nobility, a lot of innocent people, men, women, and children will die. And what is even the point of doing this to Rhodolite?

Gilbert doesn’t want all those innocent people to die, but he sees no other way. Besides, at what point did he say that this civil war was only going to happen in Rhodolite?

Rhodolite is a relatively small, almost insignificant country. Gilbert’s plan encompasses the entire continent, including the five largest nations outside of Obsidian. Benitoite and Jade, but also Tanzanite, the Country of Divination and Illusions, Acroite, the Country of Snow and Law, and Ruby, the Country of Night Blossoms and Turbulent Times.

Gilbert turns around and very gently embraces Emma. She knows that he’s the Calamity that Will Destroy the World. And he will purify all the rot from the world.

Can Emma still look at him and want him to live?

Emma begs Gilbert to let her attend the signing ceremony - she still might be able to stop this without bloodshed. She’s his and now the world’s last hope. 

If he can’t trust her not to spill his secret, he can have her watched. If whoever is monitoring her thinks she’ll betray his secret, they can kill her. Gilbert tells her that’s not an option, she’s his prey and only he can kill her.

In that case, he can come instead and monitor her. Gilbert refuses this option as well, if he dies in a foreign country, it will be impossible to cover it up and have his plan continue. 

Of course, Emma has a third option. If she kills Gilbert, she will prevent the civil war and could go where she pleased without needing to be monitored.

Emma wonders what she can do, how she can make a world where everyone, including Gilbert, can smile.

Over the next few days, Emma continues to beg Gilbert to let her go to the signing ceremony. When he refuses, she asks to go to the city. If she can at least get word to Lucien, he could inform Chevalier. But Gilbert refuses that as well.

Gilbert coughs, something she never heard him do in Rhodolite and panics. Gilbert teases her about crying every time he coughs these days. 

Emma asks him to go back to his room, but Gilbert refuses. He spent most of his childhood being so sick he was bedridden; he doesn’t intend to die that way either. Besides, he gets way warmer by cuddling with Emma than he does sitting in bed under blankets.

The scent of medicine lingers around Gilbert, the same scent from the infirmary in both the Castle of Rhodolite and the Castle of Obsidian. It’s also the smell that lingered in that secret Rhodolite flat Gilbert had used as a child. 

Gilbert warns Emma not to grow attached to him, all he’ll do is hurt her in one way or another. Emma asks if he’s reconsidered Walter’s treatment, and Gilbert reminds her of their deal. If she promises to kill him, he’ll accept the treatment. Rather than cry, Emma buries her face against Gilbert’s shoulder and feels him gently stroke her hair.

Roderich interrupts them; a group of three foreigners are waiting in the receiving room. Miraculously they passed the stringent border inspections, miraculously they were not accosted during their journey to the capital, and miraculously they are now in the middle of the castle. Roderich looks pointedly at Emma, as if he’s trying to tell her something.

Well, Gilbert is in a good mood right now, so he’ll meet with them. He tells Emma to come with him, after all, they’re her guests.

When she enters the room, the three visitors rush towards her but are pushed back by Gilbert who holds Emma close to him. He reminds them that Emma is his hostage, and if they have anything to say, it will go through him.

Rio and Akatsuki are not amused and nearly lunge at Gilbert. It’s Yves who has to play the voice of reason, reminding them that they’re not here to pick a fight with Gilbert in the middle of his own Castle.

Emma should be happy that they came here for her, but with everything that has happened, she cannot bring herself to smile. Thankfully, with Gilbert commanding their attention, they didn’t notice. 

Gilbert laughs, it appears all three of them want him dead. How about Emma, shall he go ahead and die? Emma snaps at him to stop joking about it.

She immediately regrets it, Gilbert is still smiling, but Rio, Akatsuki, and Yves look confused. She cannot drop even unintentional hints about Gilbert’s illness lest everything she’s trying fall apart. Emma diverts attention by asking how they came here.

Akatsuki still has his border crossing permit.  Yves and Rio hid in his cart of goods during the passing and inspections. 

Akatsuki did notice that the border patrol was unusually lax during their inspection. He asks if Gilbert arranged it that way.

Gilbert denies this, what reason would he have to welcome outsiders into his country. On that note, he knows only Akatsuki has the permit to cross the border, with the addition of the other two ‘guests’ there are now three illegal immigrants in his city.

He asks why they have risked so much to come.

Akatsuki tells Gilbert to return Emma to them. Gilbert refuses, she’s still his goodwill hostage. Rio complains that Gilbert is obviously not treating her well, just look how pale she has gotten. Emma denies this, but Yves points out that she has obviously been crying recently. Has she been crying ever since she was handed over?

Emma can feel Gilbert’s gaze bore into her, waiting for her to break.

Emma tells them that they’re mistaken, she has just been reading a really moving book. It was really, really sad.

Akatsuki points out the lie, Obsidian is famous for having terrible taste in literature, there would be nothing here up to her standards, much less worth crying about. 

Gilbert cuts in, Emma is obviously lying, but shouldn’t they respect her reasons? With his arms still wrapped around her, he very deliberately leans forward and kisses the corner of her lips. He reminds them that she’s a hostage, she has plenty of reasons to cry. And he might have given her a few more.

This time, Gilbert sweetly kisses the side of her eye.

Rio and Akatsuki agree that Gilbert needs to die right now. Yves yells at them to stop or it will just be worse. Emma insists that Gilbert is lying, he has been treating her like an honored guest. Gilbert tells her that he wouldn’t spend every night together with her if she was just his honored guest. Yves, Rio and Akatsuki look at her in horror.

They continue the meeting, with Yves bringing up the reason they’re here. They have received no communication about the Emperor of Obsidian’s intentions to come to Rhodolite and attend the signing ceremony, so they assume Obsidian is backing out. In that case, they would like Gilbert to return his hostage.

Gilbert insists that the emperor has already sent a letter to Rhodolite with the arrangements and declaration of intentions. After all, he brought Emma here as his hostage in exchange for the non-aggression treaty. Apparently the three of them just missed the letter, he apologizes for them wasting their time - they’re not going to be able to take Emma away with them.

Gilbert decides the meeting is ended, and he stands up, grabbing Emma’s hand and pulling her out with him. He gives Roderich orders to remove their guests from the castle, and to put them up in the nicest lodging available- in the city. 

He brings Emma to his room, and she asks why he lied during the meeting. He doesn’t intend to have anyone attend the signing ceremony. 

Gilbert’s logic is that it’s not a lie until he actually misses the signing ceremony. But he has something else to talk about, a new gift to give her. He pulls out a bundle of black cloth and gives it to Emma.

It’s a completely black dress, with the lace at the throat to the chest done out in a rose pattern. It started for Emma back when Gilbert was planning on having her sign as proxy, though now it is useless to him. Still, rather than waste it, he thought she should have it. He urges her to try it on. 

Emma heads to the restroom attached to Gilbert’s room but stops when she realizes that he’s following her. He insists that he wants to help her put it on, but Emma refuses. She has gone most of her life perfectly capable of putting on her own clothes, and she’s not planning on changing that today. 

After some time in the restroom alone, Emma finally pokes her head out to find Gilbert casually leaning against the wall next to her. She needs help, the dress was made with buttons on the back she can’t reach. Laughing, Gilbert helps, noting that black really doesn’t suit her.

Emma asks why this dress fits so well, and Gilbert tells her it’s his secret. Emma decides there are some secrets she’ll just be happier if she doesn’t know.

Gilbert decides that Emma looks far too lovely to be kept alone in his stuffy room. Emma asks if he wants to go for a walk together, but Gilbert doesn’t like the idea that a castle full of people, some of which are even men, could see her like this. 

But there is a secret passage they could take, that only Gilbert as the last member of Obsidian’s Royal Family knows about.

He takes Emma through a maze of passages and secret doors before they arrive at the main ballroom of the Castle of Obsidian. The floor is carved with the emblem for the Country of Obsidian, and for a moment it overlaps in Emma’s mind with the Rhodolite ballroom. It has floor to ceiling windows, depicting a beautiful view of steep mountains and is illuminated by the setting sun.

Emma is impressed by how beautiful it is - this is the first place in the Castle of Obsidian that doesn’t look like a modified military fortress. She can imagine noble parties being held here.

Emma isn’t wrong. Gilbert tells her that back when the Mad Emperor reigned, there were endless lavish gatherings For aristocrats held here. Even now, Gilbert still likes the view.

The sound of Gilbert’s cane tapping against the floor reminds Emma of the welcome gala where she and Gilbert danced together for the first time. She asks if he hasn’t had many opportunities to dance, even though she thought he was quite skilled.

Gilbert explains that his illness makes physical exertion, dancing included, shortens his remaining time. He used to only dance under very special circumstances. Of course, dancing is now impossible.

Emma promises to practice dancing and improve and asks Gilbert to dance with her in the future. 

Gilbert laughs, she is the only person whom, after everything he has done to her, would want to dance with him. He agrees to consider it, but Emma understands that he’s at the point where he is not making any promises.

Gilbert reminisces about the ballroom; it was very lively back when the Mad Emperor was still alive. He asks if Emma noticed how close the ballroom is to the city below, sometimes people would sneak out the secret passage that led directly from the ballroom to the town for an illicit outing. Of course, these days the secret passage is a weak security checkpoint that could let criminals come and go as they please, but Gilbert could never bring himself to destroy it out if sheer nostalgia.

A miraculous visit, a beautiful dress, a whimsical walk, and the trip down Gilbert’s memory lane all snap into place for Emma, but she still doesn’t understand what Gilbert’s intentions are. 

Perhaps this is what it means to be the Trampling Beast. Emma has no doubt that Gilbert was serious when he wanted to imprison her in his castle and keep her chained to his side. But even then, he’s also giving her this final chance. Maybe this is the only way he can bring himself to let her go.

Gilbert never took back the documents naming her as the Emperor of Obsidian’s proxy. This is her final chance to attend the signing ceremony and bridge the gap between the anti-Royal faction and the princes of Rhodolite.

Emma asks if Gilbert believes in her. Gilbert plays dumb, and Emma decides not to push it. This might be, for Gilbert, as far as he can go. 

If Emma were to take this opportunity and leave, will Gilbert be here when she returns? Will he live long enough to hear whether she succeeds or fails?

Gilbert asks why Emma is crying. Emma tells him that it’s his fault. She remembers Gilbert, long ago, warning her to stop killing her heart before becoming a fallen beast like him.

Emma deliberately looks at Gilbert and tells him that she is not alright. She asks if she promises to kill Gilbert, would he accept the treatment. Gilbert tells her not to lie, she hasn’t gotten to the point she can hold up her end and kill him. 

Emma assures him that she absolutely can and will kill him, but Gilbert laughs and tells her to listen to herself. Didn’t anyone warn her to not get close to villains?

Emma is conflicted, should she listen to Gilbert and respect his will? Or should she trample over him and force her will on him?

Emma bites her lip hard enough to break through the skin. Gilbert’s cold hands cradle her face as he asks if she really loves him that much. His grip on her is hard enough that she cannot do anything other than look into his eye.

Emma thinks back to everything she has experienced since meeting Gilbert. So many bad things had happened to her afterward, she was harassed and had to deal with the heartbreak of ostracization. She had even been nearly exiled by her own country, just because Gilbert called her a friend.

Once Gilbert had warned her that everything he loved betrayed him, so instead he controlled it and trampled it so that nothing he loved could hurt him. And here she was, quite literally in the palm of his hand. Admitting love to Gilbert was the same as drinking poison.

But it wasn’t all bad. There were nice memories, and Gilbert hadn’t really done anything bad to her (except for attempted murder). His kindness had been malicious, but it had been kind. She couldn’t help but respond to that kindness, that part of him that held her as special. As Gilbert’s finger traces her lips, Emma feels emotions pouring into her heart like ink, dying it black.

Emma wishes that they could go back to the way they were, and Gilbert tells her that it’s already too late. It’s written on her face and is impossible for her to hide. She loves him and wants him to live.

Oh.

Oh shit.

Gilbert nods, Emma has made a very terrible decision, really. Falling in love with anyone, villain status aside, is the worst someone could do, akin to self-harm. That’s why he decided not to fall in love with anyone, no one can betray that love and it doesn’t even hurt when you kill them. After he made that decision, his painful life became so much easier. Emma should give it a try too.

Because of his hold on her face, Emma can’t look away from Gilbert’s eye. She has no choice but to see it waver with sorrow.

Emma tells Gilbert that it’s a pointless struggle, and Gilbert is proof of that. Why is she alive if not because Gilbert loves her too much to kill her? As much as she wants Gilbert to live, he wants her to live too, even though she is now a threat to his nation.

Emma realizes that she can see Gilbert’s heart, and he must be able to see hers as well. They have opposite ideologies, with a fathomless chasm between them. This should be impossible for both of them.

Emma tells Gilbert that she does love him, and that means she can kill him. After all, this is the only way that can guarantee that he will stay alive. She’s accepted that she must be able to kill him in order to save him, so she will.

Even if he doesn’t believe her, Emma asks if Gilbert is okay with dying now? She intends to stop his plan; no matter how many bullets and weapons he sends out, they will be worthless if no one picks them up. She warns him not to discount her because he thinks of her as a baby bunny, she will stop his plan and triumph over him.

A part of Emma wonders how she can even register as a threat to the Marshal of Eternal Victory, and it’s right, as she is right now she is not. She needs to get back to Rhodolite and make a real difference. Even if this choice means that she will never see Gilbert again.

Gilbert is standing as close to her right now as when they first met, but unlike then his red eye is wavering. Emma kisses him, at first lightly, but then Gilbert’s hand is against the back of her head, as if blocking her escape route. They kiss again and again, and Emma thinks that for the first time, she can feel a humanlike warmth from Gilbert.

Suddenly, Gilbert’s teeth sink into her lip. Emma jerks back, though she doesn’t think he broke her skin. She demands to know why he just bit her, but Gilbert reminds her, he wants to leave a mark on those that he likes.  Emma grumbles that most lovers cherish those they love, and Gilbert agrees. And there are dozens of men who will treat Emma softly and gently. But she won’t be able to forget him, and the pain he brings. Emma complains that he has a cowardly way of reasoning, but Gilbert just reminds her that he’s the Arch-Villain.

Gilbert’s hand slides down Emma’s thigh, checking for the gun. He complains about her promise to kill him when she doesn’t even wear the gun. He urges Emma to answer him, and she asks if she wears the gun on her, would he consider living. There’s a long silence between them, and Gilbert reminds her that he doesn’t lie.

Even now, Gilbert doesn’t make any promises about surviving. Emma knows that this is a good thing for Rhodolite and the other countries, but she can’t hold back her sobs.

Gilbert wishes her luck.

~~~

In Rhodolite, Luke enters the chapel deep in the forest near the royal castle. He asks why Chevalier summoned him here, when the office was so much closer and nicer. Chevalier responds that he didn’t want to get blood on the documents. Without changing his expression, Chevalier unsheathes his sword and points it at Luke.

Luke notes that it felt like someone was sniffing around him and asks when Chevalier realized he was connected to Gilbert. Chevalier praises Luke for his ability to deceive everyone at court, it really was a masterful disguise.

When Chevalier looked into Luke’s background (a second time) he found a few suspicious points. First of all, Luke was issued a death certificate 10 years ago during the Day of the Blood-Stained Roses. That meant that it was impossible for their side to confirm that Luke was alive. Then he reappeared about a year later and got a job with the guard.

Luke had been a child during the year he was missing, he would have been unable to fend for himself in the wild, nor would he have been undiscovered by Rhodolite forces.

But it wasn’t only Rhodolite who was there that day. Obsidian forces could have taken Luke in, protected him for a year before he returned to Rhodolite.

Luke asks how that would connect him to Gilbert, who hadn’t been part of the military invasion.

During the Day of the Blood-Stained Roses, Obsidian had a policy to kill non-combatants, including women and children. The Obsidian soldiers should have killed him, under orders of the Emperor. There would have been only one person in Obsidian who could order the soldiers to keep him alive instead.

Well, Chevalier got him. It’s all correct, when Luke had lost his home, his family, and nearly his life, Gilbert had stepped in and saved him.

Normally, Chevalier wouldn’t care if Luke was or wasn’t connected to Gilbert. The problem is what Luke has been up to since returning from Obsidian.

Ever since the tragedy ten years ago, people have been vocal in their distrust of the royal family. At first they were disjointed groups, no one could truly agree on an issue. But, starting a few years ago, someone began organizing them. What had been a few small groups scattered across the nation were now bundled into a pillar that could burn Rhodolite down to the ground.

This is how Gilbert destroys nations, he unites people and controls them with hatred by dying their hearts black, and giving them the means to destroy their country. And, knowing that, Chevalier was able to look into Luke even further, and realize that he was the leader of the anti-Royal faction.

There is a long silence between the two of them. Luke asks if Chevalier thinks that by killing him, he will solve the current crisis. Chevalier doesn’t, though it would be so much easier if it was true. Besides, it’s too late to stop the events Gilbert has put into motion.

Luke asks why Chevalier still has his sword pointed at him. Chevalier replies that he will kill anyone who harms the nation, and from his estimation, if Luke continues to lead the anti-Royal faction there will be greater destruction.

However, if they were to formally convene a court to put Luke on trial, it would be a scandal that would hurt the Royal Family of Rhodolite. Instead, Chevalier has decided to dispose of Luke secretly.

Luke unsheathes his own sword, holding it between him and Chevalier. It seems no matter who it is, anyone who has status has decided that they have the right to do anything they please to those below them. This is the exact sort of thing Gilbert would say, and Luke wonders if Chevalier is the perfect symbol of authoritarianism in this world.

Well, unfortunately for Chevalier, Luke has no intention of dying before he has achieved his vengeance. Chevalier asks how long Luke can last in a fight against him. They point their swords at one another, the chapel become a battleground full of bloodlust and murderous intent.

Clavis enters the chapel, complaining loudly that Chevalier keeps on dragging him to weird places.

Clavis asks what the hell is going on. He rushes between Chevalier and Luke, reminding them that sibling fights are done with fists, not swords. Both Chevalier and Luke snap at him to get out of the way.

Clavis tells them both to calm down. He assures Luke that he knows Chevalier well, so Luke doesn’t need to say anything for him to know that this is all Chevalier’s fault. Clavis looks at Chevalier, into his eyes and tells Luke to run away, Chevalier is seriously planning on killing him. When Luke hesitates, Clavis reassures him that everyone will blame Chevalier for this.

After Luke leaves, Chevalier sheathes his sword, and the murderous aura fades. Clavis asks if he was really going to do it, but Chevalier says that this demonstration served its purpose. He sits on a pew listlessly, seeming carefree except for a bitter smile. Clavis tells him that if he wanted to kick Luke of out the court to prevent information leaks, there were other, and better ways.

Chevalier asks if Clavis is ready with his part, and Clavis complains about being ignored.

There is a unit prepared to participate in the operation, led by Cyran. Their preliminary reconnaissance reports line up with Chevalier’s predictions, they should be able to suppress the attack at the signing ceremony. The problem is that the group has been supplied with Obsidian weapons, even if Chevalier’s operation succeeds, there will be lots of casualties.

Chevalier has accepted the loss, dialogue is no longer an option, leading violence as the last resort. Clavis complains that Chevalier really is a beast who has abandoned his own heart.

Chevalier cuts in, asking for a report.

A guard with long hair and a uniform designating him as one of the elites approaches them. Clavis recognizes Lucien, and recalls that he was sent to Obsidian after Emma. Lucien reports that he just arrived.

Chevalier surmises that if Lucien is here, then Emma is returning from Obsidian far earlier than they expected. Lucien tells him that he’s right, she’s returning with the other three.

Claivs is impressed, he didn’t think that they would really be able to bring Emma back with them. Lucien hesitates, and Chevalier has to prompt him to continue. Lucien admits that a very unexpected situation has occurred.

Clavis tells him that nothing can surprise him more than them shipping Emma off to Obsidian in the first place.

Oh, this might.  

Lucien explains that Emma is returning as the Empress of Obsidian.

Clavis and Chevalier stare at Lucien in shock. After a long, long time, they demand Lucien repeat himself.

~~

Back in Obsidian, Gilbert has finished giving Roderich his orders. Roderich protests, but Gilbert silences him. He tells Roderich that his body is at it’s limit, so now it’s Roderich’s turn. He assures Roderich that he will be fine, he believes in him. Besides, he promised Emma that he would see her after the signing ceremony, and he doesn’t want to break his promise with her.

Roderich is pretty sure this would count as breaking the promise, but Gilbert tells him that he’s not interested in repeating himself.

Smiling, Gilbert pushes back Roderich’s hood, revealing glossy black hair and red eyes.

Gilbert wishes him luck.

[illarian-rambling]

For the ask box suggestion tag, could we see Mashal and Ivander interacting? What is their friendship like, what kind of things do they talk about?

Oh, this is an interesting one! I think I'll use this as an excuse to write a scene that I thought about, but that never made it into the final cut. Basically, what defines Mashal and Ivander’s friendship is that Ivander is way nicer to Mashal than to anyone else because, like, come on. It's Mashal. For Mashal's part, he sees the best in Ivander to an almost overly optimistic degree, and refuses to take the detective's bullshit about being a bad person.

With all that in mind, I hope you enjoy!

Libraries didn't generally intimidate Mashal. He might not be a genius mage or an avid reader, however, he was secure in his own areas of intelligence. Books might not hold his heart as closely as art did, but he didn't dislike them.

That said, the Yewbury Archive was something else entirely.

A titanic column of stone stretched tall enough to scrape the clouds, its base the size of a city block. No windows marred that smooth granite. In fact, no seams could be seen whatsoever between the stone bricks, as if the building had been crafted from a mold. The only nod to humanity were a few scraggly yew bushes scattered around the base - a horticulture choice Mashal was certain was intended as a pun on the city's name. The whole construction gave the impression of a vast panopticon surveying the city for any signs of ignorance.

Perhaps he would've felt better about it if Astra was there to crack a few jokes about the building's noticeably shaft-like shape, however, the witch was off visiting her parents. It would only be a few days until he saw her again, yet Mashal already missed seeing the rainbow flash of her ribbon coat in the corner of his eye. He'd probably be terribly lonely if it wasn't for the fact that another friend had come to take her place.

Ivander stared up at the library with the distaste of a princess being offered a selection of last year's dresses. He sniffed delicately, then gave his verdict.

"Ugh, brutalism."

Rolling his eyes, the detective began to limp towards the door, Mashal following carefully behind. When they reached the stairs, he let Ivander take his arm without saying a word, though it did make him glad that his friend now saw his assistance as a given.

"So, how are things in Unity?" Mashal asked as they made their way in and began navigating the stacks. "Is your private agency doing well?"

"Well enough that I can afford a vacation out here," Ivander replied. Somehow, the detective managed to slip a cold side eye towards every frazzled mage they passed. "I... Ceyrel was talking about quitting the BAI and coming to work as my partner, actually."

Mashal gasped. "Ivander, that's wonderful! I know you two are close, and she's a skilled officer."

"She's an idiot," Ivander grumbled. "Just because I got fired doesn't mean she has to lose her insurance and pension just to follow me."

"But would you be happy to work with her again?" Mashal prompted gently.

At once, Ivander’s blue cheeks flushed a dark indigo. Working off of emotion rather than logic always seemed to intimidate him, but Mashal tried his best to gently push his friend into thinking more along those lines.

"I would be quite happy," he admitted softly.

It wasn't long before they found the row of books they were looking for. Though his metal chest held no heart or lungs, Mashal let out a simulated exhale nonetheless. He'd tried to poke around here before with little success. Hopefully though, with a detective on his side - even a detective on vacation - he might have more luck.

"Geneologies," Ivander muttered. "Not a bad place to start. And you're sure your surname is all you remember of your family?"

Mashal closed his eyes as he tried to pierce the foggy veil of his amnesia-ridden mind, but it was no use. The transfer from flesh to metal had left his memory full of cracks, and unfortunately, most all knowledge of his family had fallen through one of them.

"I think I have... a brother?" he said. "An older brother. And I feel like both my parents are still alive. Or, were th- the last time I saw them, I suppose."

Very gingerly, Ivander placed a hand on Mashal's arm. "If I can find any leads, I'll do all I can to track them down. However, I must know, do you intend to return to them right away?"

Mashal sighed, rubbing at his glass lens eyes. "I don't know. They wouldn't even recognize me like this, would they? They probably think I'm dead. Astra says she's optimistic in her chances of getting my flesh and blood body back, so I think I'll wait until then. I just kind of want to have an idea of where they are. And their names too, maybe. Anything you can find."

In the yellow light of the arcane spheres that floated through the library, Ivander’s face looked almost green as he smiled sadly up at Mashal.

"I.... Oh damn, I hate how easy to talk to you are." The detective sighed heavily. "I know what it's like to not know a family member's whereabouts. I was never able to track down my mother, but I'll do my best to help you. Free of charge, even."

That got a soft laugh from Mashal. "Thank the gods for that - I don't think I'd be able to afford you otherwise."

"I'm well aware. But enough chatter, let's get to it!" Ivander made a beeline towards the nearest cushioned reading nook, shaking a few of his afternoon meds from a pouch as he did. "You just bring me the geneologies, I'll read."

Mashal shook his head in amazement. He'd never known anyone but Ivander to be so excited by a day of pouring over dusty old records. Nevertheless, he trotted off into the stacks as instructed. Perhaps, on one of those dusty shelves, laid the key to his long-erased past.

•••

By his internal clock, Mashal knew he and Ivander had been reading for about four hours now. However, given the mindnumbing material, it felt more like double that. Lists upon lists of census data swirled in front of Mashal's ocular runes like dreary constellations.

They'd narrowed it down to a few books now, putting Mashal's family somewhere in the outskirts of the Sulu'Okan city of Bouerco by process of elimination alone. Somehow, Ivander had managed to speed through nearly twice as many tomes as Mashal had. And that was with frequent breaks to reapply eyedrops and stretch his legs.

However, the detective wasn't immune to frustration, as he huffed tiredly upon flipping another page.

"You were raised by a woman and a man, yes? Not two men?" he asked, eyes listless as he shifted position sorely.

Mashal nodded. "I think so? I- I'm pretty sure I remember this big portrait with me as a boy standing by another boy, and a man and a woman in the background."

"So, not these Darezshos then." Ivander turned another page with a sigh, only to pause. "A portrait, you say? That's expensive."

"I suppose so?" Mashal cocked his head. "I mean, I was a knight, and Astra says most knights come from means."

Ivander nodded thoughtfully. "First thing that witch has been right about in her life. I found some names here, said to reside on a spacious ranch outside of Bouerco. Now, this data was taken after you would've been reported dead, mind. However, the names listed are Master and Mistress Makai and Idana Darezsho, along with their twenty eight year old son, Aden Darezsho. The census lists them as lower nobility in the business of breeding horses."

"That...." Mashal blinked, as although he had no sense of smell, his mind was suddenly flooded with the sunny funk of a well cleaned stable.

"I think that's right," Mashal gasped. "I think that's them."

It was like a thousand impressions hit him all at once. The slant of Aden's severe frown, though his eyes still remained in mental shadow. The taste of sweets in his mouth and the leather grip of a practice sword in his hands. The voices of his parents, though the words were a blur, became known to him.

A true smile broke over Ivander’s face, no hint of the usual sarcasm in the corners whatsoever. "My friend, that's wonderful. I'm happy for you. I really am."

"Gods beyond, I wish I could hug you," Mashal said, still breathless with excitement. He knew their names! He knew his family's names!

"Well, thank you from refraining, as I think I would pass away." Ivander shot a pointed glance at the hissing hydraulic presses that served as Mashal's joints. "A simple 'well done' will suffice."

"Well done, Detective Montane!" Mashal exclaimed. "And thank you."

For some reason, this caused a blush to spread across Ivander’s face. "Certainly. I owe you one, I suppose."

"Me, doing a good deed?" Ivander snorted. "My poor reputation will never recover."

Mashal shook his head. "You never owed me anything, Ivander. You did this out of the goodness- Hey, look at me! Out of the goodness of your heart, you hear? You did a selfless thing today for me that I will ever be grateful for."

"Maybe you have a different sort of reputation than you think."

"Maybe you're going to make me gag from all these compliments."

Mashal smiled. "How about we go wash the sincerity taste out with some drinks?

"Oh thank the gods for that." Ivander stood and took Mashal's arm as he followed. "You're paying?"

"I- I mean, I can."

"Wonderful. I can feel suitably evil again."

Arm in arm, the pair walked out of the Archive and into the dusk light. Even though it was made of steel, Mashal's heart felt pounds lighter for knowing his family was out there somewhere, and also for knowing that he had such a great friend here with him now.

[ocie-vt]

Thoughts on ARCADEA / AWOL

Quite a while ago now I played the ARCADEA demo on stream with my good friend Purea Patel… I'm only writing this review(?) so much later because Ive just uploaded the VoD.

To get things started, ARCADEA Is an upcoming RPGmaker game in which you take control of Maisie, a mute girl on a quest to find her brother Jas. To do this, we must go through the world of Arcadia. It should be noted that Arcadia here does not refer to the Greek province, but instead refers to one of the interesting phenomena that can be found here: you see, In everyone's dreams lies an Arcade machine which represents their innermost psyche or something. It seems that we can go into these arcade machines for… reasons. Something to do with a cat? Here's the problem with writing a review of sorts from memory months after I've played something, A lot of the exactitudes of the game story have become hazy in my mind. For instance, I remember there was a talking cat who acted slightly sinisterly and seemed to be important somehow… The only other thing I remember about him is that we made him Australian for some reason. A lot of my recollection is like this, so from now on ill just mention the stuff that's stuck with me the most about the game.

Firstly, I must mention the art here, especially the character portraits. It's very good, I feel like all the main characters have very distinct designs, they're all vaguely colour coded in these nice lighter colours which both makes every character easy to tell apart which also giving them a nice sense of cohesion. It's all very cute, and this carries over to the level art, which also has pleasing pallets whilst keeping a good sense of variety between zones. Secondly, I must mention the minigames: they are of paramount importance in a game literally structured around arcade machines, and they most certainly do not disappoint. Even this demo has quite a few varied little gameplay segments, and it honestly does better in them than even some other extremely well produced or popular RPGmaker games like Pocket mirror, which relies a bit too heavily on variations of the chase sequence. Of course ARCADEA isn't exempt from having one or two chasers, close to the end there's a chase sequence against a paintbrush monster thing… but at least there is a mechanic there where you can leave bait for the monster to stall it a little. The other games are a bit more interesting though, for instance there is a puzzle in which you have to stand on a certain spot and then line up a piece of paper to reveal a symbol that tells you what direction to go next. It's a bit like that one forest sequence from Metal Gear, except in Metal Gear, the devs just left you to flounder until you got out. There's also one or two quick time button presses that I was very bad at… but it's also an interesting change of pace from other games I've played.

Last thing I'd want to mention here is that in one scene you are put in a greenhouse and told to draw one of a few plants highlighted in the room, except there was also a random set of vines highlighted that had nothing to do with this, and I was very disappointed when I couldn't try to select the random set of vines over all the pretty flowers to draw.

Anyway, all in all I had a very good time playing ARCADEA, and I'm excited for the full release. I would highly suggest that you play the game for yourself, you can download it here.

After we finished that demo on stream, me and Purea still had a fair amount of energy left, so we decided to look at the other game that the ARCADEA dev has worked on, A Wave Of Lights (AWOL). It's a cute little visual novel about a shut in girl meeting an alien girl and then, like, being gay for two hours. I've not much to say on the actual game itself since it's relatively short, It's just well written and the art is also cute. I will say that, uhh, I made some choices on the stream's end that might have impacted the drama of it a tad… When we played it we decided to voice one character each and whilst Purea gave a pretty neutrally toned voice to the main character, I heard that the other character was an alien and like… I can only decide the voice I went with as somewhere between Skeletor and a Dalek, because alien. It was really something going into the more dramatic or serious scenes with the characters opening up to each other and whatnot, where Purea was playing it 100% straight, and I was doing the silliest goddamed voice I have ever attempted.

to close this out, I should say that the Dev for Arcadia is named Aishin, and you can find them here on tumblr @arcadea-rpg.

Whilst Aishin was the artist for AWOL, it seems that the writer and lead dev listed was Tabby Wright, who you can find here.

AWOL itself can be downloaded from here, and finally you can find the VoD for my stream here.

[kyllingtyme]

Superhero AU

A relatively short snippet from an AU between myself and @running2reanimation

———

The first time SC opened his eyes, he already knew a few things for absolute certain.

His name was Second Coming. Cursor A.L.A.N. - the large, pointed white entity looming above - had created him. The Mine:CRaFT corporate heads owned him, and were not to be disobeyed.

And he was a superhero.

— — —

Training was brutal, and repetitive, and seemingly endless. He was rarely permitted food or drink, and even more rare was time to sleep.

It was worth it in the end, as he was moved from “In Testing” to “Ready For Fieldwork” in a record-breaking five months.

Didn’t make him any less tired, though.

— — —

The prospect of being given a team to lead was exciting, if not daunting in equal measure.

He wasn’t permitted access to watch their creation, but he was waiting in the recovery room as four unnervingly still bodies were wheeled in on beds, covered in thin sheets and dressed in cheap sweatsuits.

He was the first thing Yellow, Red, Blue and Green ever saw and he knew he had their unwavering loyalty from the moment he helped each of them out of bed.

He hoped they passed training quickly - he was excited to work with them all.

— — —

Yellow’s cybernetic compatibility augmentations.

Red’s titanic blows and mind-boggling durability.

Blue’s centralized internal brewing station.

Green’s hallucinatory songs and bone-shattering shrieks.

Sometimes he wondered why Corporate had selected him specifically to be the team lead.

Because he was the oldest? Only by a few months.

Because he could conjure assorted weapons and equipment? That hardly seemed any more special or deserving than any of the others’ abilities.

Personally, he thought Yellow would have been the better choice for leader - she was the smart one, the planner.

Though she wasn’t terribly social or approachable.

Maybe that was the only reason - he was the most broadly appealing in a publicly acceptable way.

Well, whatever the true reason, he was glad for the position. To be respected, and listened to. To be cared for…

…To no longer be alone.

— — —

The first and so far only time the Crew fought the infamous Dark Lord, everyone learned exactly why Second Coming had been made Team Leader.

It was the first time he’d ever been afraid of himself.

It wouldn’t be the last.

— — —

It was interesting, hearing about the fight.

With no memories of the event, he relied on scattered security footage, and the very small number of eyewitnesses for context.

The Crew could only tell him about the things that lead up to the memory gap, trying to pinpoint the exact moment he lost himself.

The consensus was that it was a few moments after Yellow’s… termination.

Watching the footage was a wild trip - seeing himself, flying, teleporting, firing lasers!

He blew up a mountain!

…Corporate was still a bit miffed about that…

[peachiesnake]

My little tl;dr and questionnaire for @sonic-oc-showdown !! tl;dr/questionnaire:

Genesis was born as Project Genesis! Due to his constant emotional outbursts and effectively ripping a hole through the ARK, Genesis was deemed a failure and put on lock down in the worst corner of the colony. There he was mistreated horribly to the point of becoming selective mute and losing the smile he always had. Shackles were also placed upon his wrists that effectively drew out his chaos energy and made him useless, only a select few could remove them with a certain key. On a late night walk with Shadow at her side 3 years later, Maria happened upon Genesis' pod, she wasn't supposed to even be in that area. She sets him free every few nights and he hardly ever speaks but when he does his voice sounds torn and like it hasn't been used in forever. Eventually they find out they found Genesis and allow him to live with the siblings as their big brother. (SKIPPING THE FALL OF THE ARK AS IT'LL GET TOO LONG HERE) Genesis awakes in a pod decades later, after the events of SA2, and finds himself with mild amnesia, not really understanding why hes not on the ARK but instead inside a home to a rabbit and doctor named Vita. They spend their time looking for Shadow and Maria not knowing shes passed.

Questionnaire:

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

I knew I wanted something that meant first or original! I couldn't find anything for a while that I really liked until I asked my bf his thoughts and he just said Genesis!

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

His mental age is 18! But he can as a trauma response age regress.

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

Hes with a rabbit named Vita!

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

He loooooves Taro! Specifically the raw root that you get slices of at hotpot!

💼 - What do they do for a living?

Doing usually what he wants but for a majority of his time in the beginning he spends it looking and hunting for Shadow.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Not really, he plays around with Cream a lot when Vita visits Vanilla!

🎯 -What do they do best?

Pretty much everything that's physical like Shadow, but hes exceptional at puzzles!

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

He loves gardening! It can calm him down usually. He HATES being in groups, when there gets to be too many people even if he likes them he can feel trapped.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

The second time Maria and Shadow came to visit! He wasn't sure of them at first, even scared. But he could see the kindness in Maria's eyes and felt a familial buzz in his ears looking at Shadow the second time around!

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

The abuse he endured that almost made him catatonic but was forced to live with because they threatened to do it to Shadow too if he didn't cooperate. (empty lies he had no choice but to believe).

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

No actually!! He had one other design to him that was a bit more gnc but I didn't like how the quills looked so I scrapped it.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

I was originally making me and my friends as sonicsonas!! Just some silly fun but then I became deathly attached to Genesis and Vita and made a story with them with my bf!

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

I'd definitely say more psychological horror/thriller. A lot of what makes Genesis, Genesis is his mental state and how he views things. When he's done most of his healing then maybe slice of life?

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

He's male, but you can call him they or it too he doesn't care so long as you don't call him a girl. His sexuality is gay and he's aro!

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

Two!!!!! Shadow and Maria. :)

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

His relationship with Gerald was actually good! Though he very much still felt like a new kid around him despite knowing Gerald cared for him even a little. Genesis didn't meet doom, during the events of Shth he was looking specifically for Shadow to kill him and midway had a horrible mental break.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

He's got a huge heart despite it all!!!!!!

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

NOT ENOUGH!!! I have a full time job that usually takes a lot of my energy away, esp as the holidays are approaching.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

I mean! Not officially. More like au's or for what if's.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Yelling, small spaces, being restricted in any way, the dark. ect

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

He doesnt have one yet! I made some fun art with Moss' oc Franz but nothing official. If anything, he fights Shadow but thats more personal and less rivalry.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

A couple months!! Hes just a baby :)

[deltaruminations]

The Man in the Motif: A Character Analysis of W.D. Gaster via Music

“Sing us a song, you’re the mystery man… sing us a song if you please… ‘cause we’re all in the mood for a broken chord, and you’ve got us feeling unease…”

here’s the Big Dumb Music Post lmao

A couple things:

Most of what comes after the cut is written like an actual essay and not a shitpost i promise

This is more Synthesis and Subjective Reading of Extant Material than speculative theorycraft

I mostly wrote this for fun & because I’d never seen anyone lay out an analysis for our boy G like this before. I don’t think it’s like Revolutionary it’s mostly just me talking a lot about a special interest lol

I get the sense that a lot of people may have already picked up on a lot of this stuff and it might just be my alexithymic ass that needs heady analysis like this to understand subtle emotional cues. That’s to say: IDK how much New Stuff is being presented here for any given reader but it might still add value to that existing understanding I Guess

I’m not trying to assert that Toby Fox consciously intended to convey everything that I’m pulling out of this stuff lol

OK HERE WE GO!!!!!

Contents

To quickly access a given section, just search for it by its leading flag ([#XXX])

[#001] mus_st_him.ogg (Gaster’s Theme)

[#002] ANOTHER HIM

[#002-A] A Brief Tangent on Giygas

[#003] File Select & Game Over ambience

[#004] Darkness Falls

[#005] man.ogg (Tree Room)

[#005-A] A Brief Tangent on Seccom Masada-sensei

[#006] Takeaways

Undertale and Deltarune use leitmotif to a wide variety of ends in shaping players’ experience of their stories. Because music is understood emotionally and interpretively, a single song can function to convey several simultaneous ideas about characters, places, and/or themes, and may be understood to have multiple layers of meaning.

Gaster’s leitmotif in particular is notorious for its tendency to be heard by fans everywhere in Undertale and Deltarune’s soundtracks, regardless of the actual intentionality of its use. Due to the brief and generic nature of the sequence, there’s a distinct possibility that this ambiguity was engineered into it, possibly as a way to influence players’ perceptions by implying that he’s secretly ever-present and ever-watching, and/or to convey something about Gaster himself, such as dispersion of his consciousness or memories.

Aside from the previous point, there are a few instances in Deltarune’s soundtrack in which its use is either explicit or, at the very least, somewhat less ambiguous. This discussion will focus on the former cases, specifically tracks that play in the scenes in which we interact with the man himself. I’ll cover this in roughly the order that I believe a typical player would experience them for the first time.

Most of these sections will be Very Roughly divided into:

Informal analysis (I Do Not Know Music Theory I Am Just A Guy With Abled Ears) of choices made in the song itself

Subjective analysis of what emotions or associations the song might be evoking

Interpretation of what any of that could mean about Gaster Our Good Friend Gaster

Discussion of in-game context wherever I think it's interesting lol

Because my formal knowledge on music composition is very limited, and also because I’m no longer hearing these songs fresh and untainted by Lore Obsession Disease, I had my partner (a musician who knows nothing about UTDR or this character) give his opinions on these songs as well. While I don’t think a formal background is a prerequisite for this kind of subjective analysis (as these soundtracks are designed to communicate with a broad audience, not just with musicians), it of course allows for further insight. I’ll refer to him from here on as my “research assistant” because I think it’s funny.

I first had him listen to the tracks listed here out-of-context and give me his thoughts on what they communicated to him about the character or scene. I then gave him some context for each song, the story, and the character, and we discussed whether that context brought further interpretation. It turned out his basic interpretations closely aligned with mine, with the addition of some really cool observations that would’ve never occurred to me on my own. This discussion will reflect his opinions & observations as well. Huge thanks to him!

With that in mind, I’m going to use the word “melody” and other such Music Words pretty loosely throughout this sorry. I tried my best to respect the Terminology but im just a fucking dude ok

[#001] mus_st_him.ogg (Gaster’s Theme)

We must, of course, begin with mus_st_him.ogg (Gaster’s Theme), which establishes his leitmotif (or at least, the only confirmed part of it; whether or not there’s a B part to the leitmotif is currently unknown, though I‘ve seen some interesting speculation about that). Assuming that Deltarune players experienced Undertale first (as Toby Fox seems to have intended), this will have been the first instance of Gaster’s leitmotif ever encountered, and it’s the front line for evaluating his character.

Found only through a Fun event, in Undertale’s “Sound Test” room, this is presented as less of a song and more of a demo or reference sequence. As we move on to other tracks, I’ll consider this track the platonic ideal and use it as a point of comparison.

One brief note is that the filename itself does not explicitly assign this track to Gaster, but rather to “him.” It’s the Sound Test UI that puts his name on it. Whether or not there’s significance to this is currently unclear.

(I think there may be something in common between the friendly “voice” that thanks us for our feedback in the Sound Test room and Deltarune’s out-of-universe UI text after closing the fountain in Deltarune chapter 1, but I don’t have any idea what, if anything, that means right now.)

Precedents established

Since this is the base motif, I think it’s worthwhile to mention how the song is structured on paper. Since I’m no Theory Guy, I’ll refer you to Tumblr user notesanddreams’s technical analysis of what he calls the “Gaster Sequence,” which is a name I like a lot and am going to use moving forward.

To quote him:

It’s a pretty simple four bar loop. The melody, which everyone I know has taken to calling “the Gaster motif,” is a four note sequence that goes “starting note -> up a minor second (half step) -> up a perfect fifth -> back down a perfect fifth.” This is played four times before modulating down a half step and looping….

There’s simply not enough musical information in the track to discern a tonal center, and therefore any attempts to give it a key signature are futile. This gives the sequence a very mysterious and unsettling nature, but its vagueness allows it to be applied to certain tracks in the Deltarune OST very subtly at times.

While it’s distorted, this song seems to be played on an unaccompanied piano. This establishes an association between Gaster and that instrumentation (as we’ll see reinforced later), as well as with sounds of distortion & modulation, dissonance, and “noise.”

These two factors combined may be things to consider alongside the leitmotif when determining whether a song or part of a song should be considered to offer direct descriptions of Gaster (as opposed to containing a more abstract reference to him, or instead being referential to or descriptive of another character associated with piano, such as Kris).

Emotional perspective

Gaster’s Theme is anxiety-inducing. It builds up endlessly but never resolves. It is not musical; it lacks anything recognizable as motion or melody, which in turn causes it to lack anything immediately recognizable as personality, or emotion, or backstory. It’s a song that betrays no motivations or values, leaving us to fill in the blanks on our own.

The minor key and dissonance could easily be experienced as sinister, playing on our fear and mistrust of the unknown. If the truth is out there, it doesn’t seem to be pleasant. If we continue to seek it out, who knows what could become of us, or what we could unleash upon the world?

The Sound Test UI itself is bizarre and mysterious. Why does it thank us for our “feedback” after hearing Gaster’s Theme? What input or feedback did we provide?

Characterization perspective

We could take this theme on its own to suggest that Gaster is characterized by duality, tension, and emotional detachment and/or reservation.

The rising tones in each bar evoke thought and ideation, approaching a point before dropping down to approach another. The endless, moderately-paced loop of shifting, yet internally consistent, sets resembles a careful dialectic that never reaches resolution.

We could interpret this as the sound of an analytical mind aware of many options and possibilities, but never ultimately delineating the truth between them (my research assistant specifically described this track as being “locked into itself”). We could also take it less literally to signify a reversal of opinion or understanding in general – not necessarily that decisions are never made, but they’re reached through heady deliberation and obsessively re-examined after they’re made.

While the motif betrays internal tension, it’s also highly ordered and consistent, lacking any spontaneity. This can be taken to mean that Gaster is cautious, deliberate, and reserved. For all the neurosis it conveys, it still comes off as fairly confident, as though Gaster is simply used to this and doesn’t tend to question it.

We could also possibly infer that other characters experienced Gaster in much the same way as we do – they may have found him unsettling and hard to read. 

As mentioned before, it’s unknown whether other parts to this motif exist or are planned to exist. If they do exist, then the fact that only the A(?) part has been presented as “Gaster’s Theme” would underscore the one-sidedness of his presentation in Undertale, as well as a possible tendency of Gaster’s to hide parts of himself.

(EXTREMELY speculative, so please don’t take this too seriously, but: I’ve seen at least a handful of fans raise the possibility that at least some part of the Secret Boss (“Freedom”) motif may be a B/C part of Gaster’s motif. If Gaster is trying to obfuscate any involvement with Secret Boss characters, using his metaphysical resources to hide obvious musical associations with them (i.e., by labeling only this part of the motif as his “theme” in the Sound Test) would certainly be a clever way to do so.)

[#002] ANOTHER HIM

The first true application of the Gaster Sequence a player will experience is also the very first song heard in Deltarune: ANOTHER HIM, which plays during the Introduction (also known as the Survey or “GONERMAKER”).

This is another instance of Gaster being referred to as “him” in the metadata rather than by name. The specific phrasing of “ANOTHER HIM” seems referential to Undertale Players’ knowledge of him, and could be taken to suggest that this is a separate instance or at least “piece” of the character described in that game. Alternatively, this could indicate the same character being presented from another perspective, and/or the same continuity of that character who’s no longer recognizable as the same person for one reason or another.

Musical analysis

This track is, of course, a direct quote of the entire Gaster Sequence isolated from any other motifs. Its main developments are a slight modification to the rhythm of the Sequence and the addition of other instruments and background ambience – this is actually the only song in the scope of this document in which the motif itself is heard accompanied (while Darkness Falls also contains other instrumentation, it occurs during an instance of a different motif). We again hear the Sequence played on piano.

When my research assistant first heard this song without context he paused it after about 5 seconds and proceeded to tell me all about Paul stretching and how it can be used to create the type of ethereal ambience heard in this track. One thing he noted is that this algorithm allows for stretching a sample while keeping it in-key, without adding dissonance. I should be clear that I have no idea if this exact technique was used here, only that it seems to have achieved a very similar effect.

So, what is the sample being stretched (in some way or another) to create that ambient noise? When we reversed the stretch, we found it to be none other than one of Giygas’s instruments from EarthBound. This has been identified by other fans as a sample of the track Giygas’s Intimidation.

[#001-A] A Brief Tangent on Giygas

I want to be careful about suggesting too much from musical samples & references, since UTDR are known to make extensive use of samples and soundfonts from other works, especially from EarthBound (as well as reworked versions of Toby Fox’s own music from other projects). Like, I don’t think Toby was trying to Say Anything in particular when he used the “WOW!” from Earthbound’s intro sequence in Spamton’s battle themes except “EarthBound is very special to me and that sound design choice they made was really memorable and I think it sounds really fun here.”

That in mind, UTDR fans have been intuitively connecting Gaster and Giygas for years based on superficial similarities and the known influence of EarthBound alone. Given Gaster’s unique existence in metanarrative, the specificity and consistency of the references associated with him, as well as the potential thematic relevance of this reference (and the one to follow in section [#005-A]), I do think it may be fair game to consider them in these cases. I’m going to throw out a couple of things:

The use of samples from Earthbound, specifically ones related to Giygas, draws yet another thematic connection between Gaster and Undertale’s True Lab and possible parallels to Alphys, suggesting this connection is relevant to Deltarune. Memoryhead itself bears resemblance to Giygas. (also wait what there’s parallel harmony in Amalgam?? holy shit???)

Giygas is a character who, when encountered in Earthbound, has been driven to a state of eldritch, cosmic horror by trauma & grief. His backstory as Giegue, told in the previous game Mother, includes themes of pursuing knowledge despite knowing of the dangers, of betrayal, and of guilt over well-intentioned harm, specifically harm done while under some form of external influence. The Giygas of EarthBound, in his madness, exerts violent influence over animals and people, including Porky, a troubled child who Giygas compels to serve him.

Throughout the fight, Giygas expresses his internal conflict, lashing out seemingly not due to malice but rather uncontrolled emotion. Defeating Giygas requires first that the character Paula “Pray,” or call out for strength from the party’s families and the people they’ve helped along their journey, until there are no more characters left to reach; Paula’s “call” becomes unheard, “absorbed by the darkness.” Then, finally, she begs the player themself to “PRAY” for the party – the “kids” they’ve never met before – dealing the final necessary blows in the process.

Gaster & Giygas are both unpleasant sounding two-syllable G names LOL this is stupid sorry

Obviously, I don’t anticipate a 1:1 resemblance between Gaster’s and Giygas’s stories, but there could be thematic parallels worth considering. There is one thing, however, that I find interesting in the context of this song in particular: in inviting us to this “Survey,” Gaster seems to have called out to us in the same way that Paula did, praying to us for help – perhaps, more specifically, to help the kids of Deltarune who we have yet (at this point in the game) to meet.

Emotional perspective

ANOTHER HIM opens with a distorted ambience, evocative of murmuring, choral voice, rolling thunder, and perhaps the crackling whips of a Tesla coil. This ambience ebbs and flows in intensity, occasionally seeming to thrash and writhe. Just before the Sequence itself starts, and then throughout it, we hear what seem to be longing strings, and underlying the piano is a steady, understated percussion.

In contrast to the distorted fuzz of mus_st_him.ogg, the piano used here is crisp, with only a limited echo applied to it. While not unaccompanied, this piano still feels exposed and small, especially against the faint instrumentation and ambience churning below it. The high, bell-like keys feel bright and hopeful. At the same time, the slow, halting tempo suggests trepidation.

Where the base Sequence marches steadily through its dialectic without deviation or hesitation, ANOTHER HIM’s arrangement pauses at the height of each thought, as if considering it more carefully, before dropping back down to the next. After the first two sets switch off normally, the melody then proceeds to rise steadily, as though finally grasping at a revelation; after reaching an apex, it then pauses, collecting itself, before looping over again. Isolated from the ambience, this arrangement sounds contemplative and searching, in contrast to the neurotic dialogue of the base Sequence.

The backing ambience sounds ethereal and spacey, but not noticeably dissonant. It doesn’t necessarily lend the same eeriness of mus_st_him.ogg’s distortion, but the low, slow murmuring and even occasional lashing of the “voices” in the background still betray an undercurrent of unease & tension.

When my research assistant heard the songs mus_st_him.ogg, ANOTHER HIM, and Darkness Falls without context, in the order presented here, he read them as a developing narrative. He felt that this piece, compared to the base theme, added “motion” in the form of a steady rise and fall. He then said, “What I would want next, if this were one piece, is melody. I’m still waiting for that next part.” While it takes more time to breathe, ANOTHER HIM still never approaches resolution.

He also likened the emotional experience of this song to Gregorian or hymnal chanting – less so the literal style of music, but rather the use of reverberation in that musical form to create a full, choral sound from only a few individual voices.

Characterization perspective

The overwhelming sense I get from ANOTHER HIM is one of vulnerability, introspection, and dishevelment, as well as cautious deliberation. It also conveys a certain amount of hope and possibly curiosity, though these are muted in comparison to the hesitance and turmoil.

Compared to what we “see” of him in mus_st_him.ogg, Gaster seems to be far less self-assured in his dialectical thinking. He’s breaking from his traditional pattern of rumination and attempting to reach for some form of personal truth. The cautiousness could also be taken to convey unease or skepticism about the situation at hand, about the probability of success in achieving the “NEW FUTURE,” or even about the Player themself.

As far as the background ambience, its most obvious function is to convey the ethereality of incorporeal, out-of-universe existence, its ebbing and twisting reflecting the shapelessness of a disembodied consciousness. It could even be considered diegetic – as if it is the sound of his state of being, or of this strange, extraplanar space beyond the event horizon.

The ambience could also be taken to convey emotional information, though its separation from the “conscious thought” of the motif could imply many things (as we’ll discuss later in [#004], we have an example within the same chapter of the motif conveying quite a bit of emotionality in itself).

If we take this angle, then it could suggest that Gaster is not integrating emotionality with rational thought, but is at least possibly acknowledging that emotionality — or it’s built up to a point where it can no longer be fully contained or ignored. We could interpret the pauses in the motif as Gaster listening to or meditating on these “voices” – or becoming momentarily overwhelmed by them.

From this perspective, it’s clear that this emotional state is confusing and volatile; the dialogue happening on this level is not nearly as orderly or civil as that heard in the motif. The “lashing” sounds could be taken as flashes of pain; their violence could suggest bad memories, self-criticism, shame, or regret, among other possibilities.

I also think the choice of a percussive “heartbeat” is quite interesting. While not rapid, it could possibly suggest anxiety, as though his heart is pounding. It also suggests intimacy, which in turn requires a certain level of trust – he has allowed us close enough to hear that heartbeat at all, whether or not it’s comfortable for him, or he feels confident that it’s a good idea for him to do so.

Despite this piling on of confusion and unease, the relative clarity and brightness of the motif’s piano seems to twinkle faintly in the dark. This sense of hope gives us something to latch onto amidst the tumult, and that may be true of the character as well. We could read this as a hope that is worth enduring the doubt, the humbling, and the possibility of pain.

The song in context

ANOTHER HIM’s hesitation and vulnerability strikes an interesting contrast with Gaster’s dialogue throughout the Survey sequence. Aside from a very small number of seemingly spontaneous reactions, Gaster in his dialogue – in his intended self-presentation – comes off as unfailingly polite, professional, confident, and generally neutral.

While we needn’t assume that this self-presentation, or the opinions he does express, are insincere, we can still infer that whatever the reality is of his internal state, Gaster is making a concerted effort to keep that information hidden from us. There are obvious practical reasons for this: to maintain the integrity of his study, he needs to minimize his biasing of our behavior.

That said, we could certainly read personal factors into this as well. From Gaster’s POV, the Player possesses a tremendous amount of metaphysical knowledge and ability. Whether or not he has difficulties with trust in general, Gaster certainly has reasons to be very wary of us, something I’ll discuss further in the next section.

The content of the sequence itself (text, background, etc.) warrants its own analysis. I’ll probably do one at like, idk some point probably

[#003] File Select (& Game Over) ambience

While it doesn’t really constitute a “song,” I think it’s worthwhile to look briefly at the sound design in the File Select and Game Over UIs, since they’re still among the very few instances of “face-to-face” interaction we have with the man of the hour. Note that this doesn’t include Darkness Falls, which plays after a certain choice is made at a game over – the next section will discuss that. Because this section covers sound design choices moreso than musical ones, I’ll eschew the format of the other sections and simply analyze these choices in-context.

This is the one section of audio I didn’t review with my research assistant, so you’re just getting my unmoderated opinions here, unfortunately.

For the better part of the game (so far), the File Select screen generally looks and feels the way a Player would expect from an RPG UI, with illustrations, friendly help text, and narrative music:

Post-completion Chapter 1 File Select (Before the Story)

Chapter 2 File Select (Faint Glow)

Similarly, the chapter 2 (or, rather, the post-ch1-completion) Game Over screen displays a genre-appropriate graphic, includes a message of encouragement (or, perhaps more accurately, a plea for Kris to survive) from Kris’s party members, and plays the song Faint Courage.

These File Select & Game Over screens are potentially extremely lore-rich in and of themselves (some of this will come up in the next section), but with regard to this particular discussion, I’m mostly interested in the stark contrast they present when compared to the pre-completion Chapter 1 screens.

Before chapter 1’s completion, when Gaster is strongly implied to be narrating (and possibly facilitating) the Player’s SAVE data manipulation and game over choices, the soundtrack for both screens is profoundly barren.

There’s no “song,” no melody, only an identical low, looping drone for both screens. We know that there can be music here, even very emotional music, and we feel like there probably should be. And yet, there isn’t. This makes these screens feel empty, ominous, and cold, underscoring their dark, ascetic visuals.

I think the fact that so little is being said here is in itself very, very interesting. We know that we aren’t actually alone on these screens; our friendly facilitator is here with us. We also know from the other examples in this document that Deltarune’s Gaster is not inherently associated with a lack of music, nor (as we’ll see in the next song) a lack of emotion in melody. Why is it only in this particular context – when the Player approaches these existential crossroads – that the music disappears entirely?

The File Select screen on its own doesn’t give us a whole lot to work with. While the dialogue here is certainly unsettling (even compared to Gaster’s clinical speech in other scenes) and warrants its own discussion, it still isn’t entirely clear why file manipulation should sound like this.

In the Game Over screen, however, we can start to make inferences. Game Overs are when Gaster’s plans are at the most risk – they’re when a Player is most likely to opt out of the study and never return, leaving Deltarune’s future as-is and any hope of a “NEW FUTURE” unfulfilled.

With that in mind, I think this drone conveys emotional shutdown. Gaster is still there – the drone is his presence, as though he’s trying to keep his breathing slow and measured as he speaks with us – but whatever is happening with him internally, he’s either working hard enough to succeed in hiding it from us, or it’s so overwhelming that he himself can’t even acknowledge it.

What that internal experience could be is anyone’s guess. Personally, I think he’s deeply afraid.

When Gaster seems to panic upon seeing his own name in the Survey, he can simply exit the situation and prevent the Player from making that choice. He can’t, however, prevent us from exiting the game – whether or not he had the power to do so (and he of course doesn’t), doing so would be meddling in the experiment, it’d be a breach of participant consent, and it’d potentially undermine whatever uneasy trust the Player has developed with him. In these moments, he’s entirely at the Player’s mercy.

(Note: this last video shows the game exiting after the creator is named “GASTER.” As of Chapter 2’s release, naming either vessel or creator “GASTER” causes the game to return to the chapter select, rather than exiting.)

Since the same drone plays on the File Select screen, we can infer he’s shut down there as well. It still isn’t as clear what about SAVE manipulation would cause such a strong response, and there are many ways this could be interpreted. It’s worth noting that we don’t currently know whether Gaster is the one executing those actions, or if he’s simply giving us guidance and warnings as we execute them ourselves. More broadly, we don’t know whether Gaster is capable of executing these actions at all.

For right now, my best guess – and I want to be clear that I don’t feel confident this is correct – is that SAVE manipulation is the first obvious indication to both us and to Gaster that he’s willing to accept some amount of “necessary evil” in pursuit of his plans. Based on the seemingly unprecedented gravity of his tone and diction on this screen (especially around erasing SAVEs), this may be when Gaster first recognizes, fully, just how much power he’s entrusted to a Player, how irresponsible it may have been for him to do so, and he is again deeply afraid – this time, not just of us, but of himself.

[#004] Darkness Falls

(This is the song I wrote that post about, that a lot of people seemed to like, which was very cool! But also it was meant more as a throwaway vent post than an actual analysis and was worded kind of strongly/reductively in part because I didn’t expect anyone to actually see it lol. anyway this will reiterate a lot of those thoughts but with A LOT more detail and nuance, possibly more than is necessary lol)

(Quick kudos again to the user who pointed out details about Faint Courage and its relationship to Kris on the Post People Liked. I hadn’t even begun to think through that part of the song when I made the post. It helped a lot with this!)

(Wait one more note: I’d previously thought this sequence only happened in pre-completion Chapter 1, when Gaster was actively present in the UI, but apparently this still happens as of Chapter 2?? The guy just crawls out of the woodwork specifically to narrate our ending and see us off I Guess. I do not have any particularly strong opinions at the moment about what this could Mean because I don’t generally have strong opinions about why he disappeared in the first place except IDK We Got The Hang Of The Game So He Switched On The Normal UI And Now He’s Just Observing Quietly And Taking Notes And Also Waving From Cars And Egg I GUess but anyway I thought I’d point it out because I got it wrong before)

(Oh btw if God kills you it just bypasses the normal screens entirely and returns you to a checkpoint. this detail doesnt mean anything it was obviously implemented for mechanical/joke reasons I just think it’s funny. like even Gaster is just sitting there like ?????? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. sorry moving on now)

Darkness Falls is only heard after saying “No” at a Game Over. As previously discussed, Game Overs in chapter 1 (pre-completion) feature the Emotional Shutdown Drone™, while post-ch1-completion Game Overs feature the song Faint Courage. Upon refusing to continue, whatever audio is present cuts out entirely, leaving complete silence as Gaster narrates our ending. Immediately after that text cuts out, Darkness Falls begins to play.

While a Player could encounter this before the File Select or after seeing the Tree Room, it felt most logical to me to order it like this for Reasons. Based on both my own experience and that of some other people who responded to the Post People Liked, it seems like a lot of Players, even ones who know about the Tree Rooms, just end up never saying “No” and seeing it at all.

This is the only track in this document’s scope in which the Gaster Sequence occurs alongside another leitmotif: the one found in Faint Courage, the song played in the aforementioned post-ch1-completion Game Over screen (I’ll simply refer to this second motif as Faint Courage from here on).

For the sake of this analysis, I’m only considering the Gaster Sequence part of the song (roughly 0:00 - 0:33) to be directly descriptive of the man himself, as we have good reasons to believe the second motif is specifically saying something about Kris. That’s to say: any character traits being suggested by Faint Courage will be assumed to describe Kris, not Gaster.

However, I’ll still discuss the song as a whole where it makes sense to do so, including consideration of what it could be saying about Gaster’s perspective on Kris, on the moment in which it’s found, or on the broader narrative.

Musical analysis

In an unusual break from precedent, the Gaster Sequence isn’t hidden by or within the other leitmotif featured in this track. Instead, we hear an unaccompanied piano arrangement of the Sequence that then leads into Faint Courage, played on the same piano but now accompanied, and with more instruments gradually added. Each motif takes up roughly half the song’s length, though the latter is slightly longer.

Much like the piano heard in ANOTHER HIM, the keys played during the Sequence have a moderate reverberation applied to them, but are otherwise fairly clear & crisp. Notably, this reverberation still continues after the shift into Faint Courage, as if the previous motif has shifted into a background, supporting role for the next one.

The arrangement of the Gaster Sequence heard here deviates the most by far from the original mold, to the degree that it’d be easy to miss it as an instance of that theme at all. Viewed side by side, the difference is stark. Someone who actually Knows Theory could probably describe it more eloquently than I can, but I’ll do my best to fumble through this with my untrained ear and the input of my research assistant.

This arrangement of the Sequence doesn’t do away with the back-and-forth of the base theme, but the dialogue heard here begs, grasps, and searches, seeming to have no pretense of self-assuredness or strict, rational confidence. It seems more grounded in the fact that this internal conversation really has only one, contiguous “speaker,” as each even-numbered set of bars picks up directly from the set before it, rather than there being a sharp drop between them.

The “speaker’s” opening comment, which begins on a chord, rises like a choking cry or plea, before they seem to attempt rationalization. Unable to answer in kind, searching for something to say but having nothing to meaningfully offer, they volley back on a higher note, as though presenting themself another question. The “speaker” then repeats the same sorrowful, confused entreaty from before – but this time, they continue from that cry to reach toward something, pause as though approaching rest, and then decide there’s something more to say – something entirely different.

Referring back to the “narrative development” reading proposed by my research assistant (first brought up in section [#002]): when my assistant first heard this song without context, he almost immediately stopped the track and said “that, right there, is melody!” He described the addition of a tonal center as making the difference between “color” and “meaning” – ANOTHER HIM adds interest to the base Sequence, but it’s still difficult to find an emotional foothold in it. It’s difficult to parse. Darkness Falls, on the other hand, has obvious musicality. It’s immediately relatable. It’s generally pleasant.

He spent some time discussing the chords found in this arrangement of the Sequence, describing the very deliberate placement of these chords as being its own melodic line of sorts, “going through its own motion, its own process.” He described the pattern as being roughly “harmony, then dissonance, then a stretch of time, then dissonance.” He noted that the one tonic he could identify in this Sequence was just before the turn into Faint Courage.

With this in mind, we could say that the instance of the Sequence heard in Darkness Falls, in contrast to that heard in every other song covered in this document, reaches its own internal resolution. That tonic, leading into the turn, could be read as a choice finally being made.

My research assistant also pulled out a “hero’s journey” narrative from this song. The first half, the Gaster Sequence, continues its push and pull of dialogue and tension, establishing the sense of a problem needing to be solved; while the second half, Faint Courage, approaches that problem with playful curiosity, possibility, and hope, before developing into a heroism heralded by nostalgic, Zelda-like synths, and ending on a literal high note. He noted that this type of narrative is common in ending themes for games, serving as a reflection of the story just completed.

Emotional perspective

The immediate motivator for me to write the Post People Liked was because I’d pulled up Darkness Falls on YouTube (for this analysis lol) and among the video’s top comments was someone saying, more or less, “Boy! It sure is weird that Gaster’s Theme shows up so obviously in this beautiful, moving song!” This was one among many, many comments I’d seen over time across various platforms expressing the same thought.

This confusion is perfectly understandable. As I’ve expressed in several ways in this document and elsewhere, the idea of the Gaster Sequence being arranged in a way that is, in itself, obviously moving – immediately, viscerally moving without any need for the kind of reaching overanalysis I’m doing here – is wholly unprecedented in either Undertale or Deltarune. As I mentioned in the Post People Liked, we’ve been conditioned to view Gaster as anything but another character, and that may be its own form of characterization. And, like I said before, the degree of deviation heard here is so great that many players will likely miss it entirely if they aren’t paying attention or don’t know what to listen for.

That said, it’s very obvious that this arrangement of the motif sounds distinctly loose and emotional. The first half is sorrowful, but its internal development also conveys curiosity and open-heartedness. The heroism of the second half conveys a distinct sense of hope, or at least, satisfaction.

I think it’s worth noting here that, when I initially showed my research assistant the scene in which this song is found, after he’d previously heard the song out of context, his immediate impression was that it felt ironic and mocking, as though the game – maybe even Gaster himself – was deriding the Player for not persisting further. I think this impression makes sense. It’s one that I’ve experienced myself, and based on comments I’ve seen, it certainly seems to be the impression many Players walk away from the first two chapters with.

After a little more discussion, specifically after I presented the idea of Deltarune’s One Ending, and the idea that this ending is likely the “default” ending – the one Gaster knows will happen and seems to be hoping to change – my research assistant felt the song conveyed sincere acceptance. In his words: “whatever ending the player gets, it was heroic that they even tried.”

Characterization perspective

In reference to the idea of this ending theme being ironic or cynical, I think there’s something to be said for the possibility that Gaster’s habitual masking and/or intrinsic propensity for interpersonal oddness leads to others disregarding his sincerity or misinterpreting it as malice. We could argue that this is a trait indicated in a number of other ways beyond this song.

The reverberation of the keys during the Sequence of course recalls the ethereality of Gaster’s extraplanar existence. The fact that the reverberation continues into Faint Courage, combined with the placement of the tonic just before the shift, could be taken to represent a decision by Gaster to take a background role in Kris’s narrative.

Something interesting to consider from that: if the choice was made to take a background role, then what other options were being weighed in the previous dialectics? Does this imply that Gaster has considered more active roles in the past? (Could it be the case that he’s previously taken them, and the outcomes of those past decisions have influenced this latest choice? Is passivity really the best choice he could make here, or is he actually just transferring responsibility? Does he simply not trust himself to do the right thing if given the chance? Sorry this is getting really speculative LOL moving on)

As a number of users mentioned, the inclusion of Faint Courage could be an indication that Gaster is not only mourning the potential loss of the Player and with them, the “NEW FUTURE,” but the potential permanence of Kris’s death in particular. This reading suggests that Gaster feels a great deal of tenderness toward Kris themself; given what we’ve seen of Gaster thus far in this document, it wouldn’t be hard to infer reasons for why he might be especially fond of a misfit kid with self-esteem issues and interpersonal difficulties. (Assuming, of course, that these troubles aren’t directly related to their situation with the Player. Personally, I like to think that the more troubled aspects of Kris’s character are, for the most part, just as true to their real personality as their more “acceptable” or likable aspects are – attributing too much of their struggle to outside influences feels like an undermining of their agency. But I do feel it’s still worthwhile to acknowledge other possibilities, or at least the potential nuance they offer.)

The relationship between Gaster and Kris is absolutely something that warrants further examination as the story continues. While this song (and to a certain degree, the next one) seem to suggest a fair amount of good intent and even tenderness on the part of Gaster toward Kris, there’s certainly still room for complexity and tension on Kris’s part.

The song in context

In a typical game, we’d expect to be returned to a title screen or menu right after choosing not to continue. Deltarune instead gives us Gaster’s narration, then leaves us on a black screen for the roughly one-minute duration of Darkness Falls, before it closes the game window on its own. That begs the question of why the game lingers here on this song in the way it does.

In a metanarrative sense, I think there’s validity to the idea that this choice was made to reinforce that we reached “an end” – not just a game over, but the “default” ending or One Ending to the game, in which the world is covered in darkness. As mentioned before, Darkness Falls sounds to a degree like an end credits song. The game closes because that’s what typically happens after the end – we leave the game.

As far as narrative or character interpretation goes, we do know that (pre-ch1-completion, at least) Gaster is our facilitator out-of-universe in Deltarune from its start to its finish. We have reason to believe that he has control over the screens we’re on (given that he can exit us back to title). We can infer that he would be the one to redirect us to the menu.

We have no reason to think that, just because Gaster��s narration has left the screen, he’s suddenly ceased to be present when Darkness Falls plays. The fact that it starts with his Sequence seems to imply his continued presence. We can infer that he’s the one keeping us here through the song, and the one who finally closes the game.

Maybe he keeps us here because he feels he owes us our ending song – and maybe this song is an expression of what he’s thinking and feeling in that moment.

To reiterate my reading from the Post People Liked: Gaster describes our ending, and then he has nothing left to say. We said “no,” and he can’t violate our consent as participants, but he can’t bear to let us go just yet. His “NEW FUTURE” is in the balance, Kris’s life is in the balance, and on top of that, we can’t deny that the man is probably just lonely.

So, we’re left alone in the dark with him, and for the first time, we “see” him entirely exposed – no confident, clinical dialogue, no choices to make, no spr_mysteryman, no True Lab fog or trees for him to hide behind. We sit there with him as he works quietly through the situation – perhaps even entreating us to come back and try again later – and when Darkness Falls ends, when he finally reaches some form of acceptance, he decides he can’t keep us there any longer, and closes the game.

[#005] man.ogg (Tree Room)

man.ogg is the track that plays in the secret Tree Room, and is notably not found on the original Deltarune OSTs thus far. While a first-time player could technically experience this track before the previous two discussed, most players going in blind won’t learn about the secret room until after their first playthrough, or potentially until chapter 2.

I know there’s some debate in the fanbase over whether or not Gaster is the unseen (at least to the Player) man encountered in the Tree Room and elsewhere. Aside from the arguable use of his motif in this song, which I’ll get to in a moment, I think there are other context clues indicating that he’s intended to be representative of Gaster in some way:

Gaster, in particular, seems to never be referred to by name except when being referred to by the “followers” or the Sound Test UI. The reasons for this could be metanarrative (to maintain the mystery around him) or narrative (to indicate that Gaster has distanced himself from his name, for whatever reason).

Precedent from Undertale associates Gaster with the word “man,” specifically unmodified instances.

Aside from spr_mysteryman and the possible relevance of Memoryhead and its attacks, UTDR never represent Gaster as a sprite visible to players. After all, as far as we’re aware, he no longer has a physical form for us to see. The fact that Deltarune’s Man is always hidden from our view feels like a clear nod to this.

Musical analysis

man.ogg is a brief, unaccompanied piano piece, seemingly a waltz (fan-arranged sheet music for reference – I’m a big fan of the tone descriptor “surreptitious yet jocular”).

While it’s subtle, it can arguably be read as a variation of the Gaster Sequence. Gaster Theme Everywhere Skeptic Matthew Sandstrom describes this variation as a “Garbled Gaster”:

The melody and rhythm are somewhat garbled, but the right notes are there, even if the order is wrong.

He identifies two other tracks in chapter 1 that seem to use this same Garbled Gaster motif: April 2012 and, VERY, VERY INTERESTINGLY, THE HOLY. I won’t be getting into those tracks here, but I think it’s worth pointing out that a distinct “Man” motif might be an ongoing thing to look out for.

For what it’s worth, my research assistant also felt that man.ogg was likely an intentional variation on the Gaster Sequence. His justification included the thought that the motif could largely be boiled down to the “top two notes.” Make of that what you will.

I won’t worry too much about comparing this directly to mus_st_him.ogg as I have with other tracks in this document, since it seems to be almost a new motif in itself. The fact that “the right notes are there” but the “order is wrong” is worth considering, though – it’s the same Sequence in an almost unrecognizable form. It’s no longer a dialectic, but a partnered dance. Keeping with precedent, there’s also a very subtle, almost imperceptible echo applied to it.

As a final note, man.ogg is actually not an entirely new track – it’s been identified as a rework of a fan song (“Waltz of Seccom Masada”) made by Toby Fox for the game Yume Nikki (“Dream Diary”). Specifically, it’s a theme he wrote for the character known to Yume Nikki fans as Seccom Masada-sensei.

[#005-A] A Brief Tangent on Seccom Masada-sensei

As I mentioned in the previous tangent ([#001-A]), I want to be careful about suggesting too much from reworked tracks that were meant for or made in reference to other projects. After all, MEGALOVANIA isn’t meant to suggest that Sans is ascending to God Tier or likes saying swears. (It’s worth noting that the aforementioned April 2012, which seems to use the Man motif, is also a rework of an unreleased Homestuck track.)

However, much like with Giygas, the connections between Gaster and Uboa have been intuitively obvious since the first Fun event investigations on Starmen.net. (Toby Fox literally used a slightly edited Uboa for Dr. Andonuts’s final boss overworld sprite. The dude likes Uboa, OK?)

So, again, I don’t think it’s unreasonable in this case to take a closer look at a very pointed reference to Yume Nikki as we gather information.

Masada-sensei’s appearance in Yume Nikki is very brief; demonstrations of the segment may be found on YouTube. While the connections between spr_mysteryman’s design and Uboa are well-known, the idea that Masada-sensei and Gaster may also be comparable in some ways is far more obscure, but worth considering.

Some things of possible note from the segment itself:

Reaching Masada-sensei’s spaceship requires descending a long flight of stairs into what appears to be some type of basement. At one point, Madotsuki must equip the Umbrella Effect (which causes her to hold an umbrella while rain falls) in order to extinguish a fire blocking her way.

Masada-sensei’s sprite is in black-and-white – white face, black clothes and hair. His only discernible facial feature is a set of googly eyes that make him look a little neurotic. He also has a non-standard reaction to the Knife Effect – approaching him with it equipped will cause him to back away in fright.

When first encountered, he turns in place steadily and fairly slowly in front of some kind of piano or organ, as though playing the instrument and/or operating it as a type of control panel. Interacting with him causes him to beep at us.

The next room to the right contains a bed. If the player has Madotsuki sleep in the bed, she will wake up later to the sound of the ship’s alarm system. At this point, Masada-sensei can be seen turning rapidly and erratically, as though panicked.

The spaceship will then be seen to crash onto a planet. It is raining when they land. Masada-sensei stands still, looking out the window.

Masada-sensei and Madotsuki seem to be alone on the planet, which stretches for several screens, desolate, until it culminates in a hole in the ground, atop a mound, leading to another long flight of stairs that descend into darkness and an even stranger, more inscrutable setpiece.

Possible character parallels worth noting:

Masada-sensei’s location in a spaceship suggests associations with scientific activity.

Yume Nikki fans commonly interpret Masada-sensei as a music teacher, hence the honorific. As Royal Scientist, Dr. Gaster would have been an authority in his field. We also know that at least one of Undertale’s Royal Scientists (Alphys) is a schoolteacher in Deltarune.

Masada-sensei certainly bears some physical resemblance to the widely accepted image of Gaster; and similarly to Gaster, the small amount of subtle characterization he was given made him a very popular object of fans’ affections and speculations. It’s worth noting, however, that Masada-sensei seems to be pretty universally understood as a sympathetic and very “human” figure – something that can’t necessarily be said for Gaster among the fanbase historically and at large.

I won’t extrapolate on this information too much here, but for this section, the “teacher” thing is worth keeping in mind.

Emotional perspective

I would certainly say “surreptitious yet jocular” feels like an accurate description of this song. To me it feels playful, but out-of-step. It seems like it should be a more cheerful piece, but there’s an underlying sadness or confusion leaking through.

What stands out to me most about this track is how rough it sounds, like the piano player is new to the instrument. For being such a simple piece, there’s a clumsiness to it, a lack of confidence – it sounds like it’s being played just a little too slowly, like the piano player is practicing the muscle memory needed to play it at full speed, and the rhythm stutters momentarily between bars, as if they’ve tripped over their own fingers. A few of the notes sound dissonant, like they were played wrong.

To me, this conveys a sense of imperfect but earnest effort. The piano player is not particularly good at this yet, they don’t feel confident about it, but they’re continuing to play. While the song isn’t exactly succeeding at evoking cheer or comfort, it still conveys sincere curiosity.

Characterization perspective

The way this song deviates from the base Sequence, combined with its rough, unrefined sound, could suggest that Gaster is breaking form in these scenes, perhaps stepping out of a comfort zone and attempting a new form of learning.

Aside from the traffic easter egg in chapter 2 (only seen if he was met in chapter 1), these are the only scenes in which Deltarune’s Gaster manifests in-universe and interacts directly with another character. Given that Gaster seems to prefer staying hidden as much as possible, and is also literally an extraplanar being, it isn’t difficult to see why he might be out of practice for this kind of interaction.

The playfulness suggests a drop in facade, and may reflect an innocent and almost childlike curiosity about the Player and/or Kris. The use of a waltz suggests a desire for connection, as though it’s an invitation to dance.

(Setting aside any specific Gaster relevance, I feel there’s a more general trend developing in Deltarune of waltzes being used to convey themes around connection, such as loneliness, the awkwardness and growing pains of a new relationship, the vulnerability and comfort of trusting a new friend, and the despair of a valued connection unexpectedly severed.)

The evocation of a novice sound could also suggest a more general relationship to teaching or nurturing. Recalling the tangent on Seccom Masada-sensei, we could read this song abstractly as a teacher’s perspective of a student’s development.

While Egg could have any number of worthwhile meanings as a symbol in Deltarune, we shouldn’t disregard the obvious: Egg is a young, fragile life in need of gentle handling and incubation. By giving Kris Egg, Gaster seems to be asking them (and/or the Player) to protect it — the future of Egg is in their (our) hands now.

We also have Lancer telling Kris they “won’t get through [their] teen years without at least one Egg” (itself a reference to EarthBound). With this perspective, we could read the act of giving Egg to be itself a gesture of nurturing on Gaster’s part, if admittedly a very bizarre and confusing one from Kris’s/our POV.

The fact that Players on a Snowgrave route will be locked out of chapter 2’s Tree Room could suggest that this behavior causes Gaster to second guess his trust in the Player and their ability to handle such a fragile responsibility.

[#006] Takeaways

While Gaster’s dialogue projects an air of unwavering, confident professionalism and emotional neutrality, the musical information presented alongside him hints toward a complex emotionality lying beneath his mask. Gaster is far from unfeeling – he’s simply hard to read, and that may be, to some degree, his intent.

In general, Gaster may have difficulty trusting his own judgment, whether as a response to past mistakes, and/or as a natural result of his tendencies toward hyper-analytical rumination and emotional repression.

The Gaster of Deltarune seems to be engaging in a great deal of reflection and introspection. He may be proceeding with this study despite having serious reservations about it. He seems disheveled and, to a certain degree, desperate. Whatever reasons Gaster has for being so interested in the future of Deltarune’s world, these reasons are powerful enough that they are, in many ways, breaking him down.

Despite his spoken eagerness to connect with the Player, close observation may suggest that he’s quietly uneasy with the arrangement and may be more skeptical and/or fearful of us than he lets on. 

For whatever reasons, Gaster also seems to have a particular fondness for and sentimentality toward Kris, who he seems to want to nurture and protect, while also viewing them as a potential savior and source of hope. The association of both characters with piano seems to underscore a connection between them.

OK im tired of writing about this now. THE END !!!Q!

[skaruresonic]

Here's a fun fact for you: the writer of this show, Warren Ellis, wiki broused to write it because he has never played the games and was never interested to do so, describing them as "games where you just make a bunch of pixels jump around"

This isn't even a secret, he repeatedly admitted it during interviews, also stating that the other team members were fans of the games and so would help him out which...yeah they seemed to be perfectly happy with his choices

This actually brought to a bunch of hilarious moments in hindsight:

for example there's an OC in the second season that he wanted to name Mathias because he had found the name on the wiki and liked it, but Konami presumably stepped in to tell him that he couldn't use it because that's Dracula's original human name in the games. This info is on his wiki page btw!

Imagine writing a Sonic adaptation and somehow missing that Robotnik is also Eggman's name when it's one of the first things his wiki page says

Also for your information Nocturne, the sequel show that's coming out at the end of this month, is going to have a native american vampire as one of its villains (he's technically a game character who wasn't native in the games and looked nothing like the guy in the trailers but creating OCs and giving them the names and backstories of canon characters is standard fare with the show)....and let's just say that, given the show's track record with the representation of racial minorities (especially two asian totally not twins in season 3) I'm not holding my breath for that one

the writer of this show, Warren Ellis, wiki broused to write it because he has never played the games and was never interested to do so, describing them as "games where you just make a bunch of pixels jump around"

God, fauxteurs piss me off. Go work in some other medium if you hate video games so much, yeah? When will we get creators who aren't crotchety boomers who thumb their noses at the medium? It's nearing 50 years old at this point, why are we still being subjected to Roger Ebert levels of "games aren't Real Art" cold takes? The other thing is that often what ends up happening is even though they're adapting well-known game franchises (which would imply they're well-known for a reason, but logic is seldom fauxteurs' strong suit), their Superior Vision(tm) rarely manages to match the source material's quality, let alone surpass it. Hence why all of their bluster gets really fucking annoying really fast. Their hubris is unearned, and yet they still have the nerve to thumb their nose at the source material, the reason they have work to begin with. Sit down, dude, you just made things worse with all of your fart-sniffing. And they never stop to consider that according to their own logic, it's almost like video games are still so poorly regarded by the mainstream that they know they wouldn't be able to get work in any other medium precisely because their work isn't up to snuff. It's like how David Cage keeps pumping out glorified QTEs as games because if he pitched his scripts as movies, he'd get laughed out of the room.

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This isn't even a secret, he repeatedly admitted it during interviews, also stating that the other team members were fans of the games and so would help him out which...yeah they seemed to be perfectly happy with his choices Actually, I have certain fears that this will happen with Bloober Team and the SH2 remake, despite select members of 2's dev team working with them. I can so clearly picture Reddit in a few years going, "Team Silent approved of it, why are you complaining?"

Woodchipp and I have read excerpts from interviews that heavily imply Bloober Team is attempting to capture 2's vibes and relying on their, quote, "perfect memories" without actually playing it.

Creators will sometimes approve whatever just to make money or because they don't care. For example, Kikiyama, the creator of Yume Nikki, is an intensely private person, so private that some people believed they were dead for years. Kawakura Studios approached them with the idea for Dream Diary, a game that changes the fundamentals of the original's design and symbolism, and Kikiyama approved of it. So approval from creators doesn't inherently guarantee a quality product, or ensure that the new team knows what they're doing. Also, we all know how Sega approved Pontaff's scripts :)

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for example there's an OC in the second season that he wanted to name Mathias because he had found the name on the wiki and liked it, but Konami presumably stepped in to tell him that he couldn't use it because that's Dracula's original human name in the games. This info is on his wiki page btw! ...That was literally the very first thing I learned when watching a Castlevania lore video. Am I now officially more knowledgeable than Ellis? ...that's sad lol. tfw you're such a peak writer that you can't even read the wiki. At least Pontaff READ Sonic and Eggman's Wikipedia pages. Jesus Christ the bar is in hell and fauxteurs keep finding ways to dig under it lol ---

Also for your information Nocturne, the sequel show that's coming out at the end of this month, is going to have a native american vampire as one of its villains (he's technically a game character who wasn't native in the games and looked nothing like the guy in the trailers but creating OCs and giving them the names and backstories of canon characters is standard fare with the show)

[melanielocke]

Book recommendations: Chain of Thorns hangover

Since I think a lot of you have finished Chain of Thorns by now I figured I'd make a book recommendation post with books that I think will appeal to people who are trying to get over Chain of Thorns. Most of the books here I've talked about before, but I made the selection that I think will appeal the most to ChoT readers.

First up: Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson

Why this book?: It has thorns in the title. Also the main couple, the humor and the story would appeal to fans of TID in particular. Nathaniel reminds me of Will somewhat.

Sorcery of Thorns is a second world fantasy set in Austermeer. Elisabeth Scrivener grew up in one of the country's great libraries, where grimoires are kept, living books that contain magic spells used by sorcerers, and she wants nothing more than to become a warden, a sword wielding librarian who keeps the books but also protects the world from these books since some of them can be quite dangerous.

When Elisabeth intervenes in an act of sabotage and slays a very dangerous grimoire, she is implicated in the crime and taken to the city's capital by Nathaniel Thorn, a sorcerer she distrusts, and his demon servant Silas. She has no choice but to work with Nathaniel to uncover a conspiracy targeting the great libraries.

Nathaniel and Elisabeth are one of my favorite m/f couples. Nathaniel is bi, and the author has said she likes playing with feminitiy and masculinity in her m/f couples. Elisabeth is essentially a "lady himbo" who likes swords and armor, and is taller and more muscular than Nathaniel, with Nathaniel being a bit more feminine at times (in the sequel novella he wears a lady's dressing gown).

The third major character is Silas, an aroace demon who works for Nathaniel as a servant and gives him his magic in exchange for some of his life. I love him as a character and his dynamic with the other two, and Elisabeth has a very beautiful platonic relationship with him.

Mysteries of Thorn Manor is a sequel novella that just came out. It is essentially an extended epilogue with a new story where Elisabeth and Nathaniel get trapped in Thorn Manor and have to figure out how to appease the house. It is an adorable little book but with the tiny size it's difficult to find a good spot for it with the other books.

Next: A Marvellous Light & A Restless Truth by Freya Marske

Why this book?: horny queers in the Edwardian era, book 2 also features a rude pet parrot (keep in mind, this book is adult and has some pretty explicit sex in it)

I've discussed this series before here, but I hadn't read a Restless Truth yet when I wrote that. The series is a trilogy, with currently two books out and the third coming November this year.

Each book focuses on a different couple, but you do have to read them in order since they're also trying to get to the bottom of a magical conspiracy in each book.

Book 1 focuses on Edwin and Robin, which is essentially a himbo/librarian couple. Robin is the himbo in this case, who works a government job and is accidently assigned to a post related to Britain's secret magician society. Usually, this post is held by non magic people with magic relatives, like his predecessor who mysteriously vanished. His magic coworker Edwin decides to wipe Robin's memory and replace him, but then Robin gets cursed by people who think he knows where a magic artefact his predecessor hid is, and Robin and Edwin have to break the curse and figure out what he's after.

Edwin is a magician, but he is a very weak magician. He makes up for this by being clever and very precise with his magic, and inventing new techniques, and this is very different from what I'm used to which is main character (or magic love interest) is the one who most powerful ever.

Book 2 is a sapphic book focusing on Maud and Violet and they are based on the rake/wallflower trope.

Maud is Robin's younger sister, who travels on a ship a la Titanic from America to the UK with an old lady who is important for the magic conspiracy. Only the old lady dies the first day and Maud has to turn to Violet, a scandalous young actress who is a magician specializing in illusions. Compared to book 1, book 2 is even more sexual, but in a hilarious way. Maud was raised a proper Edwardian lady, but is now first experimenting with her own sexuality and I loved the way this was portrayed. There's also a side character (who will be the love interest in book 3), who writes porn as a side hustle and Maud has to purchase his entire supply of porn to secure his cooperation.

The relationship between Violet and Maud also starts with Violet thinking, oh this girl is seeking to explore her own sexuality, let's help with that. No way I'm catching feelings.

The third book, coming in November, will focus on Jack Alson (lord Hawthorn) and Alan Ross who were side characters in book 2 and Hawthorn also appeard in book 1, but also feature Violet & Maud en Edwin & Robin.

Third: A Dark and Hollow Star by Ashley Shuttleworth

Why?: Urban fantasy, ensemble cast with lots of queer characters, complex plot in a longer series

I think this is more similar to the modern day shadowhunter books, since it is set in the present, but I think it will appeal to fans of tlh too.

The series has 5 main characters, and in the first book they have to figure out why ironborn (half fae) are dying, which no one else really seems to care about.

Arlo is an ironborn, with her mother being part of the royal family of unseelie spring, which is the ruling family over all fae right now. As an ironborn, she's threatened to be cast out of the fae world, her memories erased, if she doesn't have enough magic. She's very soft, but also determined, and seeking a path for herself and I think overall she's the main character of the series.

Nausicaa is an ex fury who was cast out from the furies because she killed a bunch of people she wasn't supposed to. She's very morally grey and kind of an asshole, but in a funny and likeable way, and she develops a weak spot for Arlo, who becomes her love interest.

Vehan is the prince of seelie summer. He's sweet and very naive and doesn't realize his mom is evil. He feels very isolated because his best friend, Aurelian, who is also in love with, seems to be pulling away from him and he feels like no one really cares about him. He is determined to solve the ironborn murders in book 1 because no one else wants to try.

Aurelian is Vehan's bodyguard and he's kind of the brooding guy. He's very protective of Vehan, but also pulls away from him because of a secret he's keeping to protect Vehan. They have been best friends for long, but he was essentially forced to become Vehan's guard so now their relationship is difficult.

Celadon is the final main character and he gets his own POV from book 2, and will be very important in book 3 I think (he's on the cover). He's a prince of unseelie spring and Arlo's cousin, and he's very popular. There's a fandom of him called the "Celadom". Vehan in particular is a big fan and has posters of Celadon in his room. Celadon is also Arlo's best friend, which is how he's introduced in book 1.

Book 3 is coming out this September, and the cover was just revealed this week

Then: A Blade so Black by L.L. McKinney

Why this book?: demon slaying (well, nightmares in this case), great cast of characters

Like A Dark and Hollow Star, this would likely appeal more to fans of the modern day shadowhunters as it's set in modern day Atlanta, and follows Alice who was chosen to battle nightmares, monsters that come from Wonderland into our world.

She's trained by her attractive mentor Hatta, but when he is poisoned she has to travel deeper into wonderland to find a cure while also maintaining her school, and keep her very protective mother from figuring out what's going on.

The third book is coming out in April, I think only in US hardcover (while I have the UK paperbacks so that sucks), but I'm still curious to see how this story ends.

It's fast paced with lots of action, but also balanced with Alice' homelife as a teenager and her trying to figure out how to disappear into Wonderland for a week without her mom finding out.

And last: The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas

Why this book?: high stakes, great cast of mostly queer characters, funny and chaotic characters

I've talked about this book before. Several times. But it's just that good. So here I am, trying to convince you once more why you should read the Sunbearer Trials.

The main character is Teo, a jade transgender demigod son of the goddess of birds.

"I am a being of chaos, fueled by spite and antidepressants"

Every 10 years, the sunbearer trials are held, with ten semidioses participating. The winner becomes the new sunbearer and replenishes the sunstones so the sun doesn't die out. The loser gets sacrificed.

Usually, only gold semidioses are chosen to participate. These are the children of the most powerful gods, who can shoot fire out of their hands or move earth, things like that.

This time, there are two jade semidoses chosen to participate. Teo, and Xio, the son of the god of bad luck who has no powers. Meanwhile, Teo can talk to birds. Together with Teo's best friend Niya, the gold daughter of the earth god, they will have to fight to survive against much more powerful semidioses.

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