#intergalactic Starbucks

[evilhorse]

Coffee, black, for the woman of wonder.

(Wonder Woman #7)

[domesticadventures]

god i love all the hallmarks of the 90s in these books...not a single cellphone in sight. the internet gets only a passing mention in the context of education. a latte from starbucks costs $3. these preteens are so minimally supervised that they can wage a whole ass intergalactic war in their spare time without their families noticing. radio shack still exists

[birindale]

She-Ra: Progressive of Power

Episode 1: “The Sword of She-Ra” - Introduction

I’m really bad at consuming podcasts, but being able to read along helps. It makes things easier to find later on when I tune back in after getting distracted, or weeks later after I inevitably forget when things were discussed but want to double check something. And this podcast has a few interviews with crew members on top of its premise generally appealing to me, so. I’m making transcripts, I’m posting them here, if this isn’t of interest to you go ahead and blacklist “progressive of power”. If this is of interest to you, please click through the above link and support the hosts directly.

... and I annotated it. sorry. at least it’s footnotes this time?

Narrator from The Secret of the Sword (1985)(Which for series purposes is referred to as The Sword of She-Ra as it’s made of the first five episodes squashed together, I promise that’s relevant): [the She-Ra: Princess of Power theme plays behind him] Where darkness rules, fights the champion of light. Where hope seems lost, there rides the Rebellion. Together they stand ready against the dark, evil warriors of the Horde and their leader, the terrible Hordak. The Rebellion, armed with hope and ancient powers against the force of an intergalactic army. This is the story of one who will become leader of the Great Rebellion. She-Ra: Princess of Power!

ERIC: Hello everybody, my name is Eric.

LAUREN: My name is Lauren. It's nice to hang out with you and talk about a cartoon from... the year I was born I guess?

ERIC: Whoa! The year after I was born, so yeah this is the pilot episode of She-Ra: Progressive of Power. This is a rewatch podcast with a political twist. We're going to watch episodes of the She-Ra animated series which is now on Netflix and kind of look at the ways that it both holds up and then fails a modern day progressive agenda. And I'll talk about why I wanted to do that in a minute. But first I thought we should maybe get into just a little bit about who we are because nerds love to gatekeep. I might edit that line out. But I feel like we should just give some context to why we are two people who are qualified to take on this project. So first off, both of us are political volunteers for a very progressive Illinois campaign.

LAUREN: A certain progressive Illinois campaign.

ERIC: Yes. Maybe gubernatorial in nature. Maybe if you watch our Facebooks it’ll become clear. But either way, you know, we're both on that side of the political spectrum and we're both very nerdy. I make podcasts for a group of people called The Nerdologues, and... I don't know, this show has always been a favorite of mine. I saw Wonder Woman and I thought, “Wow, Wonder Woman is amazing! I want to watch another thing with an amazing female lead. And then I'm like, oh, I love She-Ra. Hey, it's on Netflix!” Now, FYI, I have the DVDs, but they're buried away. I dug them out to watch the documentaries for this podcast, though. But I'm like, ooh, Netflix is easy. And I started watching it and I'm like, “This feels... maybe too relevant.”

LAUREN: Netflix is just successfully making every other form of media irrelevant. Like, well, you have the DVDs, you don't need them.

ERIC: Yeah, but so Lauren, you have never seen She-Ra before.

LAUREN: Right, and that's kind of why I agreed to this. Otherwise, I think pretty niche-y premise. So, I wrote the blog Geek Girl Chicago for a solid five years or so. I've kind of backed off of that, mostly because when I was very small and into science fiction and comics and geek culture, it was an underground kind of, uh... subculture. And now it's just culture. You know, I was just downtown and went into Uniqlo with some friends after going to Starbucks. And all of Uniqlo was like Nintendo shirts and Disney. And my friend goes, “It's like we're at a convention except it's just downtown Chicago. It's not... it’s not geeky anymore.” So I hate to be that elitist dork who's like, “I don't like it anymore because it's mainstream.” But I was really excited to maybe talk about something that everyone has heard of, and watch something that I've actually never experienced before. I also cosplay. I have worked on other podcasts such as Our Fair City and I don't know. I'm a dog person. We’re... We're here with Eric's dog, and she definitely smells my dog. And I find her very distracting, because that's a big part of my personality these days.

ERIC: Yeah, P.S. my dog’s name is AC, short for I kid you not, Adora Corona. So clearly the She-Ra fandom is big in me. But yeah, you'll get to know Lauren and I through the course of this show. Let's dive into She-Ra. So we're going to cover a different episode or a different set of episodes every week. Today we're talking about the... the first five, which is kind of the pilot of She-Ra. It's called the Sword of She-Ra. And uh, this is gonna be more of a top level discussion, I imagine, than what eventual episodes will end up being. Because I don't want to get into as much plot specifics as just kind of like the creation of this character and why she exists. And yeah, we'll talk about the five episodes and stuff. But I think the background of She-Ra is really fascinating. So if I may, I will lay the groundwork, and then, I am so excited to hear what you thought about this.

LAUREN, laughing: It's on your face. He's smiling so big right now.

ERIC: Oh my God, this is great. Because well, I asked Lauren, “What do you know about She-Ra?” And she's like, “I've seen girls cosplay as her and that's it.“ And I'm like, “You don't know her story at all.”

ERIC AND LAUREN: “No.”

ERIC: Okay, so, clearly there's a big twist in the Sword of She-Ra, and Lauren didn't know what it was until she watched these episodes. So we're going to get there. But let me talk about the background of the show because I think it's interesting, and it's going to inform our discussion about pro--like the progressive values of the show. So this is 1985, and He-Man, which I'm sure a lot of you guys are familiar with, at least in passing, that's all you need to be, has been a show for two years. And the production company that makes it has reached the point where they have so many episodes that they would actually be losing money to produce new episodes, like it was just in their advantage to sell it to syndication. And so they're looking for the next show to do. So Lou Scheimer, the guy who runs the company, wanted to do a show for girls, the reason being he had worked a long time ago on a show called The Hardy Boys and his daughter said to him, "Dad, why do the girls always trip and fall?” and so Lou said, "I wanna make a show where it's the men who trip and fall." [[1]] And initially th--Filmation was going to produce a Barbie show, and Mattel said, "No thanks,” and this is the actual quote, according to Lou, which is very creepy--the Mattel exec said, "Because Barbie already exists in the mind of a child."

LAUREN: What?

ERIC: Which is a weird reason to deny a business partnership. But so Lou and--and his crew were thinking about the success of He-Man, and a couple of the better writers from He-Man, because that show certainly had ups and downs--but a couple of the actual consistent writers had this idea to like, what if, what if he had a sister? And what if no one knew? [[2]] So that's the basic plot of the Sword of She-Ra is that He-Man is summoned to go to this strange world he's never been to before, and he takes this sword with him, and the sword is designed for this woman who works for the bad guys, the Evil Horde, who ends up being his sister. And so you find out that Hordak, the leader of the Horde, took her as a baby from her parents and then like, hid her away. And the pain of that memory was so great that the Sorceress on Eternia on He-Man's world made everybody forget except for her parents and the Sorceress herself, which is like fucking traumatic and still that plot gives me chills.

But what we have here is an action show with a female lead, which already is pretty... pretty irregular and that was something that the creative team was very aware of. Staff writer Francis Moss, I have some quotes from some documentaries on the DVD. He said, from page one, “We're empowering girls. I don't know about proto-feminism, but it certainly was female empowering.” Staff writer J. Michael Straczynski doesn't hesitate to use the F word. He said it was feminist from the go. So this is very consciously a female-centric show. A lot of the staff shied away from calling it feminist, because that was the time. But you know, it's not really any different now.

People still don't like to use that word necessarily. But... more than that, it's kind of this story... You know, in He-Man, it's the typical 80s cartoon setup where the good guys are reactive. So the bad guy does something, and then the good guys are like, “You can't do that. That's against the social order.” And then he comes and stops them. But She-Ra, it's the inverse where these guys called the Horde have been ruling this planet for--according to the series Bible--20 years. [[3]] And they--they are the status quo. And the heroes are the Rebellion fighting against the status quo to make that change. So the heroes are proactive in the show. And I mean, not to get--Well... I'm gonna have to not say ‘not to get too political’ on this podcast. Cause it's political.

LAUREN: We have the word progressive in the title.

ERIC: Right.

LAUREN: I think you're stuck.

ERIC: This is a political show. It felt... It's not a one-to-one correlation, but watching the pilot again on Netflix, I'm like, this feels... this is too real right now. This idea of like an evil empire that controls basically everything from, you know, taxation to... to free speech, and the people are subjugated and some of them don't even know. It's just really... It feels more relevant than it probably has in a while. And I want to read,before I turn it over to Lauren, what J. Michael Straczynski--who by the way, you guys will probably note is the creator of Babylon 5, so he went on to have a wonderful career after She-Ra--What J. Michael Straczynski wrote in the series bible for She-Ra, page one. He says, “The time for words is past. It is the time for action. A time for the taking of vows, the forging of alliances against tyranny. A time for leadership. For over 20 years, the evil horde has ruled Etheria with an iron fist and cruel calculation. Their rule has gone largely unchallenged, until now. A band of patriots brought together by their love of freedom have pledged their lives and their swords to bring down the dark dictators from another world, willing to tackle impossible odds in their quest for an ideal: Freedom. Leading this band of patriots is She-Ra: Princess of Power.”

And so... even though a lot of episodes of the show did devolve into standard 80s cartoon fare, I think it is baked into the very premise of the show. Like these writers are very conscious of the fact that this is at its heart a political struggle, a band of women fighting an oppressive militaristic regime led by an evil pig man. And that just feels so relevant. So, Lauren Faits.

LAUREN: Yes.

ERIC: What did you think of the first five episodes of She-Ra?

LAUREN: Oh my gosh, what a ride. So I do need to point out that before I started watching She-Ra, um, I had not watched He-Man either. And Eric gave me an episode of He-Man to watch. And, uh, you know, it was charming. I joked that just the--the background music was always just He-Man over and over and over. It was just so pumped up and masculine the whole time that I'm thinking gosh, you know is this She-Ra show just going to be this in pink and purple and light blue and I--I mention the color palette because honestly... oddly enough, that was the first thing about this show to really strike me. In addition to there being so many women on screen all the time, we live in this era, still, today where toys are us and Target have these like pink aisles where... that's the girl stuff and that's where you go to look for girl toys, and She-Ra and the Rebellion and all the villains, they don't stick to that color palette. It is a wonderfully just, colorful show and it's not screaming ‘princess, pretty, feminine’ the whole time, and yet it manages to be feminine, and that's pretty exciting to me. Um. Some of the things that surprised me from the get-go, uh-- I wasn't expecting a male narrator, in the beginning of the theme--

NARRATOR: Where darkness rules--

LAUREN: But, you know, all right, cool. And um... in one of the first scenes--so they’re clearly, they're trying to sell She-Ra through He-Man, like He-Man’s super popular I guess in 85?

ERIC: It was, uh, for its second season, I think, it was the highest rated show in syndication.

LAUREN: Yeah, wow, and so... They really make it He-Man's story for one to two episodes, but also they you know, they show him cooking, they show him having relationships with his mom, and like the women in his life, and he's, you know, not as bloated and masculine a character as I expected them to present him as? This show is very 80s, though, and I loved watching how some of this animation was so intense--You see Battlecat leap forward in this like, very violent and action-packed way, and then a monster grabs him and throws him, and the sound effect is still like ‘boing’! [laughs] They're just--the 80s were this time when cartoons were still for kids. There was no acknowledgement that cartoons can really be for grown-ups, so all the voices on this show are so goofy, all the sound effects are so goofy, and anytime it just starts to take itself seriously-- [affects a stupid cartoon voice] someone comes in with this voice! And you're like, oh, hello 1985.

Some of the things I want to talk about that you brought up--I I love. I'm so interested in that quote that calls the rebellion a band of patriots, because the one quote that I wrote down, was in episode one Bow, who is the token man who's costume I love, and I'm going to Dragon Con in September and if I don't see at least one I'll just cry--uh, the quote was:

[audio clip from SOTS]

HORDE SOLDIER: Surrender, citizen!

Bow: [chuckles] I'm not a citizen. I'm a rebel.

[end clip]

LAUREN: --and I--I’ve--I've been thinking about that for the last like 12 hours or so, because I would argue... that a patriot, who's fighting for justice and equality and freedom, is like... the ideal citizen? But this Rebellion is so disconnected from... the Horde, and the establishment, which I guess has been around for 20 years that they don't even call themselves like citizens of that regime, and I think that’s... that's striking, especially if you're talking about our current political climate? I think that's an accusation, often, that comes from both sides. If you're not--I'm going to say the T word--if you're not a Trump fan in 2017 you're not a patriot, but then the other side says, if you're supporting the tyranny of this, then you're not a patriot, and uh... these people in the Rebellion are patriots, but don't consider themselves citizens, and I want to hear what you think about that.

ERIC: Well, first of all, I like that you uh, caught that quote because I also--I just read the series Bible for the first time last night, and I had never... thought to refer to the Rebellion as patriots, and I think that that also kind of has... because you know under eight years of Obama-- that was what all the... angry people on the far right, ‘oh we're patriots’ and so I bet now... I mean I don't want to put too much on JMS's politics, but he probably was pretty lefty to to write the series Bible for this show. He might not use that word ‘patriot’ and I also think... First of all I really want to talk about Bow, and maybe this isn’t the episode for it, but just in general like that character of the token male and his crazy outfit and his-- his weird relationships. There's that moment in episode 3 where Adam's like oh I'm gonna go to the Fright Zone and find Adora, and he's like “Godspeed you on your quest, Adam!” and Adam's just kind of like “... Yeah cool man. Anyway I'm gonna go bye.”

[clip from SOTS]

BOW: You are a brave man, Adam. I salute you. Good fortune speed you on your mission.

ADAM: Yeah, uh... well thanks.

[end of clip]

LAUREN: He's just too extra, even for He-Man.

ERIC: Side note, Larry DiTillio in the series Bible mentions that Bo is kind of supposed to be the Adam figure on Etheria. Not the He-Man but the Adam, the kind of, ‘oh he he jokes around, he kind of slacks off, and he may be a little too earnest and he can't always back it up’... Anyway to the quote of “I'm not a citizen, I'm a rebel”. Yeah, nowhere in the show does it ever say ‘the Horde's been here 20 years”. It's just kind of an indeterminate amount of time. And there's episodes we'll watch later, where it seems clear that they are ‘the establishment’ and I think maybe that's the difference between the show and--well, that's clearly a difference between the show, and where we are in the world is you know the horde is -- they're straight, like -- they're not even making runs at being a democracy, like it's straight up tyranny. Uh, so I guess in that sense I think Bow’s quote is legit, but I think that's probably a way that, yeah, it is disconnected from... from the modern times, we are all still citizens even if we consider ourselves resisting the current power structure.

LAUREN: Right I feel like we all still believe in America, and our version of what America could be, at its best, and we all want to live in that place. You hear people who are like ‘well if you don't love it you should leave it’ none of us want to leave we just want this place that's our home to be better and include everyone. [[4]] And I'm--I--I guess in the end--not to skip way ahead, but that's She-Ra's choice as well. She's given the option to go to, sort of this idealized place, where the good guys, uh are already the force in power. In Eternia, He-Man's family is getting to rule--I mean they're--they’re menaced all the time by Skeletor, but they're... that's the king and the queen and... the good guys kind of make the government if you will. And She-Ra's like, no I can't stay, I'm choosing to go back to this tyrannical miserable place because my job there's not done, so I guess she is a citizen, she kind of insists she is.

ERIC: Yeah and I think that's really the crux of what drives this show, and you know we're gonna do an episode later on the-- the Price of Freedom, which if anybody listening is a She-Ra fan you'll be like ‘yeah that's the episode you have to do’ [[5]] but yeah that's the key difference in the show right is like She-Ra... she gets a taste of home in, I think, a very sweet moment and I also think a moment that if you are a He-Man fan kind of closes off--because even in the one episode you saw, you know there's this through line in the series, Prince Adam is always a disappointment to his dad because he can't let him--it be known that he's He-Man. So he's just kind of this jokey prince. And then he brings home their lost daughter and King Randor is like ‘you've made me so happy’ and I think all right, Adam's arc is done, like... he has fulfilled his job and completed his family. And Adora gets a couple days on Eternia and then Skeletor and Hordak come and try to take her away and she realizes she--if she if she stays, she's doing a disservice to the people who really need her, and I think that is it's awesome, like it's a great choice and it gives her so much more responsibility than than He-Man. And you know something that the writers keep noting is that whereas Adam and He-Man are two very different characters, Adora and She-Ra are basically the same. They're both very like duty-bound and honorable and uh, and noble.

LAUREN: I did notice that, which as a total newbie to this series brought about one of my major questions, which is: Why does her identity need to be a secret? I find Adora and She-Ra to be so similar and really the stakes--at least in this pilot--seem so low and it's... I don't know who else the Horde could think this mysterious warrior woman is, they're like ‘ah the princess escaped... and it's this lady's fault!’ and I [laughs] the--the--you really have to suspend your disbelief to like, let the alter ego thing even slide

ERIC: Oh I mean yeah, there's no way that the rebels shouldn't have figured out that Adam is He-Man okay. Prince Adam shows up he's like, ‘I have a friend who could help you fight!’ and then He-Man shows up, they rescue He-Man oh then Adam's back! And then He-Man comes back--it doesn't make any sense. I mean I guess if you really--because clearly the answer is that it’s the superhero trope, right.

LAUREN: Right.

ERIC: But if you really want to find an in-world answer, maybe it's to protect Adam's identity? I don't know. It--or maybe I mean if you want to dig psychologically, ‘cause Adora kind of doesn't have her own life, and so maybe she's trying to claim one for herself, to have her own identity and not be She-Ra, and there actually will be an episode we'll watch later that is about that duality.

LAUREN: I can buy that. I can buy that. Um. Speaking of the life that she doesn't have, one of the [laughs] most stone cold plot holes in this whole thing for me was that four people were allowed to keep the memory of Adora's existence, and everyone else didn't. So poor Teela is like, ‘no, who is this though’ and no one ever really like... stops to convince her or check in with her. There were two times during this pilot that I laughed just out loud by myself and that was one of them, because she really got a bad deal.

[clip from SOTS]

RANDOR: Well Adam we’ve done as you asked, now where is the surprise of yours? Must we wait all day?

ADAM: All right, you can open your eyes now.

TEELA: Who's that?

MAN-AT-ARMS: By the ancients!

RANDOR: It's about ti--[gasps]

MARLENA: Adora!!

ADORA: Mother! Father!

MARLENA: My daughter! Oh, my dear sweet daughter.

TEELA: Daughter?? [laughs uncertainly] I don’t understand.

MAN-AT-ARMS: Why, she’s Adora! Adam’s twin sister. And she’s back, after all this time!

MARLENA: Look at you! How lovely you are!

ADORA: Oh, Mother. I’m so glad Adam brought me here!

RANDOR: Son, I want you to know that today you’ve made me the happiest man on all Eternia. The royal family of Eternia is whole once more, and by the Ancients I swear that nothing shall ever separate us again.

SCENE TRANSITION: SHE-RA! [musical sting]

[end clip]

ERIC: What was the other time you laughed?

LAUREN: The other time I laughed... was the first time the horse... transformed into the Pegasus-unicorn. Is it Swift Wind?

ERIC: Swift Wind, yes.

LAUREN: And Swift Wind could suddenly talk. And had the--and had another goofy 80s voice. He's like, [affects a goofy 80s voice] ‘now, I'm Swift Wind’ and they go flying.

[clip from SOTS]

SWIFT WIND: I am Swift Wind, my dear friend.

LAUREN: But what made me laugh, not only was his voice, but the fact that it doesn't appear that he can talk when he's not transformed [laughs] and uh, and Battle Cat can. And so it's just another like raw deal that a character gets. [laughs] Like, ‘I lose my sentience when I'm not transformed’. Oh, my gosh. Poor Swift Wind. [[6]]

ERIC: I do want to say as far as the uh, the voice casting goes... So there's only six actors who work on the show. And one of them is the producer, and one of them is the producer's daughter. [[7]]

LAUREN: They really go for it.

ERIC: Yes.I--I appreciate the challenge. And, you know, everyone always kind of looks at these shows and say, ‘oh, these are the cheapest cartoons of the 80s’. And actually, the opposite was true. Filmation was the last studio to do all of their animation in America. And so it was very cost-prohibitive to hire a big voice cast, because they had to pay like, American wages to their animators and not just ship overseas.

LAUREN: You could see, though, where the great care was taken in the animation, and then sort of, where it wasn't? So similar to other 80s shows, like if you imagine Scooby Doo, and you see Shaggy and Scooby running, and the background is repeating itself over and over, um, in the like, Slave People. Those are the same slaves walking by over and over. And yet when He-Man disguises himself in a robot body, they take the time to draw like little tups of hair sticking out of his uniform. I was like, ‘oh, see, they had a budget. They just invested it in very specific places.’

ERIC: I love that that's a plot point, too, is that He-Man's hair gives him away at one point. I thought that that was so funny.

LAUREN: And it busts him really fast. I was expecting them to like... give him the benefit of the doubt and let him sneak around a little bit. And the second they see him, they're like, ‘that's He-Man. What an idiot.’

ERIC: Yeah. Fun f--I don't know if you or anybody listening will care, but Filmation had a--a system called Same-As. Same dash as, and it was their stock animation system. So anytime someone animated something they like, they would put it in like a file, and then they would use it in later episodes, again, because they thought, oh, this is a really great piece. We can keep using it and then we can, you know, put our efforts into something else next time. So that is why you saw like scenes of slaves just over and over again. So I want to know just at the very base level, like, did you see the twist coming about Adora's identity, and what did you think?

LAUREN: By the twist, do you mean, literally, that it's He-Man's sister?

ERIC: Yes.

LAUREN: So I thought it was pretty obvious, considering like one of the first scenes is the baby getting stolen. Like, who else would that baby be? I was actually more surprised when she was introduced as a bad guy, and I was trying to figure out, is she legitimately a bad guy who's going to need to go through sort of a massive change of heart, or is this just like a hypnosis situation? And the answer was both.

ERIC: Yeah.

LAUREN: It's both.

ERIC: Yeah. And I think, I think it says something, you know, probably for our purposes, one of the more interesting sequences is after He-Man is in prison--which by the way, there's a lot of being imprisoned, a lot of metaphors and literal imprisonment in this five part episode. When He-Man is at the--in prison and he tells Adora, ‘hey, just go see for yourself like what the world is like’, you know, she's like, ‘oh, I haven't really left the fright zone, but Hordak tells me that we're the rightful rulers and everyone likes us.’ And He-Man's like, ‘well, why don't you go see?’ I thought that was cool, even though the scenes of her investigating are sooo dramatic and like it's, you know, like an old guy who wants water and a trooper throws him in a lake. Like, yeah, that's horrible, but also it's like not really grave social injustice. You know?

LAUREN: Yeah. It was really on the nose in a way that, I mean, I loved, but was also so over-the-top because... one of those scenes is like an airplane just comes rolling up. And She-Ra’s like, ‘what's happening?’ And these two citizens in just the most exposition heavy dialogue are like, ‘well, John here was talking about how the taxes are way too high. And an evil robot overheard him and here comes an airplane to blow up his farm.’ [laughs

ERIC: Yeah, I was like, let's get this in really quick. Like 10 seconds in, Adora gets it.

[clip from SOTS]

ADORA: What's going on?

VILLAGER: Lars said the hordes taxes were too high and a trooper overheard him. Now they're going to destroy his home.

[explosion noises]

[end clip]

ERIC: Something you said at the beginning of our conversation that is really true. You know, as you pointed out, this is She-Ra's story. The whole kind of five-part pilot is about giving her control of the narrative. It's basically He-Man passing off the the torch, or the sword, as it were. And that had real-world implications as well as you deduce. It was a way to... because She-Ra clearly is marketed towards girls, but the people at Filmation really wanted boys to watch it. So they're like, all right, if we put He-Man in, maybe we'll trick the boys into thinking this is cool. And it totally worked. And I remember as a kid, I liked this show way more than He-Man. Even then, I deduced, like, this show... it's just richer. Like, it has this background--having the Horde and having the bad guys win. It's such a more interesting uh, background on which to tell different stories. So She-Ra was the second highest rated cartoon of the year it debuted, right behind G.I. Joe, which was a new show. It had a 4.3 share, which I think means 4.3 million people watched it every week, which is pretty good.

LAUREN: Yeah.

ERIC: So it totally worked. And I definitely at some point want to talk about the show's marketing of the toys, and how much of a failure that was. But as far as just on the show, like, I think it's pretty uniquely positioned to appeal to all genders.

LAUREN: Absolutely. And I'm interested in seeing where it succeeds and where it fails, as a feminist piece. Because even in this pilot, there were moments that were so strong and there were moments that totally whiffed, because there'd be quotes like, ‘that's not very ladylike’ or ‘just like a woman’. And I would say they were like 50-50 for, ‘no, you're supposed to think that's evil and dumb’. And then suddenly, like, He-Man would put his finger to She-Ra's lips and you're supposed to be like, ‘oh, that's okay’. And it's not. It's just like weird and sexist. And so they're trying so hard, and I want to see kind of what their success rate is going to be throughout the series, because it's bumping along.

ERIC: I completely agree, and I knew you were going to bring up--it--it is--And I just said it was one of my favorite scenes. And yet I still regret the unfortunate dialogue that's ‘not very ladylike, but then again, you're not much of a lady anyway’. [laughs] Although Scorpia of all the Horde villains, my least favorite. I do not like her. That voice, [affects a Scorpia voice] ‘oh, she talks like this, like she's from Brooklyn kind of’.

LAUREN: The vill--the side villains, I kept... I mean, all the side characters, so many mascots, which was very 80s, we got to make as many potential toys as possible. But so many just like... Catra: She's a cat. Angel-la: She's an angel.

ERIC: Broom is a broom.

LAUREN: [laughs] Yeah. There was also, the other like--most 80s thing about this was how violent, but nonviolent it was. There was some violent animation happening. But it was like, ‘they're just stunned’. The one guy whose powers is just eye beams? He has the eye beams that threw off He-Man's sense of balance. And I was like, either he is just like messing with He-Man's inner ear a little bit, or he's giving him brain damage. And I don't know, like [laughs]

ERIC: It's such like Warner Brothers style violence.

LAUREN: Well, right. And this, the big ‘Magna Ray’ was apparently going to affect an entire forest, but is also stopped with a rock.

ERIC: Yes.

LAUREN: And I'm like, all right.

ERIC: And then Hordak has enough power for a second shot, which was never mentioned before, because he drained just enough to get it to work one. I don't, there's a couple subplots, like I love the overall through line of He-Man finding She-Ra. The Magna Beam, the harpies. Oh my God, that harpy scene. I do not like it at all.

LAUREN: No.

ERIC: Um. Too--Earlier, you mentioned, you know, 50-50 on the dialogue being either they're calling out sexism, or it's just casually sexist.

LAUREN: Yeah.

ERIC: The other example you mentioned that wasn't He-Man, I think is really interesting because there's a lot of that in the scene when Adora is captured by Skeletor, and she's in Snake Mountain. And then as She-Ra, she fights her way out. And I--I almost feel like that scene, it's at the start of the fifth episode--To me, it's like almost consciously, and maybe I'm giving the writer too much credit--bringing femininity to Masters of the Universe, because it's so on-the-nose.

[clip from SOTS]

SKELETOR: And now, princess, I must decide what to do with you.

ADORA: [fake swooning noise as she fake passes out]

BEAST MAN: Uh. She’s fainted.

SKELETOR: Hah! Just like a woman!

[end clip]

[start new clip from SOTS]

BEAST MAN: You’re sure a pretty princess. [gross laugh] It’s too bad we have to lock you up in the dungeon.  

[end clip]

ERIC: Like, it's just so creepy. And then... and--when she's busting out She-Ra goes, ‘no one around here knows how to treat a lady’. And of course, the scene is capped by a true 80s villain defeat. Everyone is just laughing at Skeletor as he says, [affects a Skeletor voice] ‘ah, a female He-Man--

ERIC AND LAUREN IN UNISON: [both doing Skeletor impressions] ‘This is the worst day of my life!’

ERIC: And like, that's the end of the scene. That's like, no, he's a criminal.

LAUREN: Yeah [laughs]

ERIC: Why aren't you doing anything?

LAUREN: He's the big bad of this universe.

ERIC: Right.

[clip from SOTS]

TEELA: Hmph. I don't believe this.

SKELETOR: Neither do I. A female He-Man. [pitiful whining] This is the worst day of my life!

TEELA AND MAN-AT-ARMS: [laugh at Skeletor]

[end clip]

LAUREN: I was trying to... also decide, and I think this is something I'm going to wrestle with through most of this show. Uh, because my personal brand of feminism really tries to live by... a woman can be whatever she wants. If she wants to show her body, if she wants to cover it up, it's all fine. If she wants to be promiscuous, if she wants to be conservative, it's all fine. Be a mother, don't, get married, don't, I don't care. Feminism is, you're supposed to be able to do just whatever you please, because you're free. And I feel like pretty often we scoff at, when a woman is stereotypically feminine, and I think that's a mistake. And there's a moment where a big skull falls on top, it's like an animal skull falls on top of Skeletor. The thing that She-Ra says is like, ‘well, I think that's an improvement to your look’ and I'm like, wait, why is she concerned with aesthetic? Like why is she making like, cute jokes? And I struggled with it for a second, and then I went, no, it's great that she's feminine. It's great that she feels empowered in being a little bit about aesthetic. Like that's fine. And I feel like I'm going to have that conversation with myself a lot while watching this.

ERIC: I do not think you are wrong about that. Maybe it will make you feel better to know--And again, you know, I'm of the critical school of thought that intent only means so much. It's a window into something, b--into interpretation but it's not the be-all end-all. That said, I did find it interesting to see how keyed-in these writers were to the things that we would be talking about. So here's a Larry DiTilio, who again wrote four fifths of this pilot said: “I think the way you make things girl-friendly is you don't worry about the fact that she's a girl. You let her do what everybody else does. Everybody was equal on the show. We wanted a show where many times women were not only the equal of men, but the superiors of men.” And that's something that Lou Scheimer also echoes, like, his whole point ‘wasn't feminism’--which I disagree with--but he just wanted to show that women could do anything that they wanted. And I think that you do see that in the show. I think there's a huge variety of women characters of all types.

LAUREN: Yes, absolutely. And I'm glad to see so many female characters, on the good side, on the bad side because it gives them the chance to have diverse aesthetics, diverse intention, diverse personality. And I mean, that's sort of... I guess my final observation is how many things She-Ra IS being successful at that we're still struggling with today. Uh, when I went and saw Star Wars Episode 7, I remember feeling so moved by how many women I just saw standing in the ranks of the Empire, and standing in the ranks of the Rebellion, just existing within the space of this world, and how especially in... sort of geek culture things that's still sometimes rare. And this is so many years later, and the second we see the Horde, there's girls. And the second we see the Rebellion, there's girls. And this is a very action packed show, you know, girls punching, kicking, flying, riding. And... the fact that I feel like marketing professionals in toys and media today are still questioning whether or not young women can enjoy that is shocking. Because this, you know... this was literally before I was on this earth, this show started.

ERIC: It was 32 years ago, which is crazy. And it... Yeah, just kind of, I don't want to say effortlessly, because that takes away from the work of people who, you know, put the effort in. But seemingly easily is perfectly integrated. It's great. Now that--there is a huge caveat, and we're going to do an episode on this, but I need to mention it now, because I know someone's going to bring it up. She-Ra is super hashtag white feminism. This is a very white show. Now the series Bible even mentions that there should be ‘people of all colors’. And I don't know whether it was the animators, or just something at loss in translation, didn't happen. So there's an episode that kind of head-on deals with taking away a black character and making her a pink character. [[9]] We'll talk about that later.

LAUREN: People of all colors, you know, like purple and green.

ERIC: And that's kind of the fantasy trope that is unfortunate about She-Ra, right? That's one of the very 80s things is like, yeah, they’re all--there are all colors, but not real life colors. You have white, and then you have fantasy colors.

LAUREN: Yeah, I mean, 80s nostalgia is really hip right now. You have your Stranger Things and your Glow. And I've watched Glow very recently too. And sort of remembered that... in the late 80s, early 90s, there was this message of equality and freedom and like, togetherness. And it was like, ‘yeah, racism is over’. And then you realize like, no, the way society presented race was far, far from perfect we’re far from done with it. And so I think there's a lot of difference between saying ‘our show is for everyone’ and actually creating a show that is for everyone.

ERIC: 100%. And you know, I would still argue that She-Ra's heart was in the right place and compared to the other--like Transformers, G.I. Joe, He-Man, Thundercats, it did better, you know.

LAUREN: Mhm.

ERIC: But it still had a long way to go. That said, I'm really glad that you found... that you saw what I saw in this show. That it has troubles, but... It's pretty good, right?

LAUREN: It is!

ERIC: It's pretty good.

LAUREN: I'm going to DragonCon at the end of August and I was like, ‘is anyone cosplaying She-Ra? There's an 80s cartoon photo shoot. I should go talk to those guys. I mean, I wonder if there's going to be a She-Ra’. And that was after one sitting with this show. [laughs]

ERIC: So, yeah, I guess, like I said, this episode is going to be longer than the others, because we're just getting into it. But to close out, I'd like to know like, are you looking forward to exploring the rest of the show now?

LAUREN: I am. I'm looking forward to especially meeting more characters because I believe the implication was, we freed one castle, but there's going to be more kingdoms, with more people. And I did some spoiler-free googling and there's like a mermaid and an ice lady. And for one, I was like, ‘oh man, look at all these toys they could manufacture’. But on the other, I was just excited to see, you know, we already have so many female characters and the show is going to give us even more and I'm stoked to meet them.

ERIC: Yeah, absolutely. So I will mention, kind of the plan for this show going forward is after my Wonder Woman binge, I went through and I have an embarrassing amount of books on He-Man and She-Ra. So I read through and I'm like, OK, this seems like this would be good. So we're going to talk about episodes that kind of directly address progressive issues first. And then... I think if you guys like this show, Lauren and I talked about going back and doing all the episodes. It's 65 episodes on Netflix. That's a lot. So hopefully you guys like this and then, uh... we'll have a lot of fun. And I do want to point out even in the episodes that are directly addressing issues that we care about, there's a lot of failures and we're not going to sugarcoat things. But I think that when we really get to the dregs of She-Ra, that might be when the really... like, the claws come out. So we'll see where this show goes.

LAUREN: Well, I do believe that you should be critical of the things that you love. And so I'm sure there will be moments that I sound like I hate this, but I--I really only give even the time of day to things that are worth it. And this seems like it's going to be worth it.

ERIC: 100 % agree. And you know, I told Lauren when we were planning, I don't want this to fall into the unfortunately gendered dynamic of like, ‘guy likes it, lady nags on it’. And I don't think that's what's going to happen because I think we're both being pretty real about the show.

LAUREN: It's going to be ALL nagging, all genders, all nagging.

ERIC: But like, I don't know. I mean, you--you just experienced this in 2017, right? And you are a professional woman, got a lot going on. You're an established person, and you like the show. And to me, that says even 32 years later, this has some potential.

LAUREN: Yes. And you know, when I'm watching it and my husband walks into the room and just out of context, he's a muscly He-Man like tied to a table and he's like, ‘what are you watching?’ That just that that alone was worth taking on this project.

ERIC: So much bondage. All right. So next episode next week, we're going to do Duel at Devlan. So please feel free to follow along on Netflix. We'd love to hear your thoughts. We actually don't have anything set up to do that at this point, but we'll post some way for you to get at us, uh, when, you know, with the episodes. So, yeah, talk back to us as long as you have constructive things to say, good or bad, we'd love to hear them.

LAUREN: Yeah, this was awesome. I can't wait to watch the next episode. Thank you. Thank you for this idea.

ERIC: Yeah. Thanks for doing it. Hell yeah.

[clip from SOTS]

HE-MAN: Farewell, She-Ra, Princess of Power.

SHE-RA: Farewell, He-Man, dear brother.

[end clip]

LAUREN: Do we do we have a moral today?

ERIC: Oh, yeah. So that's something that's going to be coming up is uh, moral segments, because as you know, these 80 shows like typically have morals at the end. The pilot forgoes morals. So there isn't one baked into the show, but I don't know, if you were to assign a moral to today's episode, what would you say?

LAUREN: Oh my gosh. I think, I mean, this is so cheesy, but that's the 80s. I think the moral would be... be open to everything, be willing to try new things and confront new experiences with an open mind, because when Eric presented me this idea, I literally was like, ‘that's the weirdest thing I ever heard. I have to sleep on it’. And by morning, I was--I was ready. And I'm just so glad to say yes. I'm so glad to be open to a new experience.

ERIC: At first I thought you were going to relate that to like Adam's experiences of like, you know, ‘he did it with the Sorceress and it worked out’, but I like that it was a real life moral too.

[EPISODE OUTRO]

Thanks for listening to She-Ra, Progressive of Power. If you like our show, you can write and review us on Apple Podcast. We'd super appreciate it. You can also send us any feedback you have, add it to our email address, progressiveofpower@gmail.com, or as a comment on our website at progressiveofpower.wordpress.com. And make sure you listen to the show all the way through to the end. In future episodes, we're going to use this space to promote progressive organizations and causes we like a lot, related to the topics we're talking about, that can help make the world a better place. But for now, just enjoy this rad theme music.

[outro to "I Have the Power”][[10]]

ERIKA SCHEIMER AND NOAM KANIEL: [As She-Ra and He-Man] For the honor of love, we have the power so can you.

ANNOTATIONS

[[1]] This is an anecdote from Lou Scheimer: Creating the Filmation Generation, page 230, about his approach to creating female characters in general. Erika Scheimer, the daughter referenced, went onto work for Filmation herself, and in 2007 came out as a lesbian, calling Filmation “one of the gayest places in town”.  

[[2]] This is actually where things get complicated, because multiple people have claimed responsibility for the ‘long lost twin’ element, including Lou Scheimer on the very page cited in footnote 1. We know on the Mattel side at least that she was initially slated to be Teela’s long-lost twin, not Adam’s, which further tangles the narrative on the Filmation side. Larry DiTillio also claimed credit for the twin plot point, though he described it more as ‘filching’ from Star Wars. He and J. Michael Straczynski developed the world of She-Ra, so I think we can safely afford them the bulk of the credit, but Lou Scheimer had long wanted to create a female-led action show, and to build off of He-Man’s success--while on the Mattel side of things, Janice Varney-Hamlin had been trying to get a female action figure line greenlit for some time. She claimed it was her idea to build off of He-Man but there’s little (no) evidence of that and she’s... a gifted marketer, shall we say.

[[3]] This reactive vs. proactive bit is a reference to something Larry DiTillio has said a few times, about his intentions for the story. I just like that they did research for this podcast it makes me really happy. Here’s a link to the series bible.

[[4]]

[[5]] The Price of Freedom is one of a handful of episodes that make you ask, “the censors wouldn’t let them hit people but they were allowed to do this?” Basically, the Horde attacks Dryl. She-Ra calls the Sorceress for backup (He-Man), but they can do little more than evacuate the villagers into the nearby mines. She-Ra leaves to get help, because now they’re pinned there and Dryl itself is burned to the ground, but naturally Hordak blasts the shit out of He-Man and traps everybody in the mines. They start getting testy when their air starts running out, some of them are like ‘where the hell is She-Ra’, but one of the villagers gives this big rousing speech about how they can’t always rely on She-Ra and He-Man to fix all their problems, and they dig to safety. Or, they would, except they cause a cave-in, which is less a metaphor and more a reason for She-Ra to return (without any help).

[[6]] It could be worse! In the German audio plays, he couldn’t even talk as Swift Wind. But don’t worry, Filmation dropped the restriction pretty early on & we got the goofy 80s voice talking horse we all wanted.

[[7]] The aforementioned Lou and Erika Scheimer.

[[8]] Larry DiTillio said this on the 2007 BCI DVD’s "Documentary Feature - The Stories of She-Ra Part 1″. And boy is it concerning I recognized it so quickly.

[[9]] I think he means Huntara? ‘Pink’ is kind of a stretch but she was originally supposed to be black, per both Larry DiTillio & the character design sheet. They were going for a Grace Jones vibe. I guess we’ll find out in a later episode.

[[10]] Official theme song of the Secret of the Sword movie. There’s a music video and it’s incredible. Fair warning this gets stuck in my head constantly so if you’re susceptible to that... tread carefully. I linked you to the version with Erika Scheimer explaining the background of the song to force you to learn <3 don’t skip ahead that’s cheating

[alondradina]

Getting to Know You Meme

I'm actually going to do this one. 🤣 Thanks @luthien-under-bough

Favorite time of year: Autumn! I love the cooling weather, the tasty food, and how beautiful the trees become.

Comfort food: I'm a sucker for sweet foods. 🤷 Kinda changes depending on my mood.

Do you collect anything?: Introverts? 🤣 I used to collect music boxes. Haven't gotten any new ones in a few years, been moving around a lot, but since I'm in an actual house now it should be ok to get more, right?

Favorite drinks: I primarily drink room temp water, 0 sugar purple Gatorade, and seasonal drinks at Starbucks. Currently I really like the eggnog one.

Favorite music artists: Uuugghhhh… Too many… At the moment I have been listening to a lot of Doja Cat, The Neighborhood, Now Now, Grimes, The Weeknd, and Emarosa.

Current favorite songs: Afraid and Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood, Cut My Fingers Off by Ethan Bortnick, Wolf by Now Now, Player of Games and Kill V. Maim by Grimes, too many songs by Emarosa (Cautious, Ready to Love, Attention, Helpless, Comfortable, Hell of It) and I could go on and on. 😩 I'm terrible at picking favorites.

Favorite fics: 😭 So many… Ummm… I'll just dump them here and you can feel free to ignore my enthusiasm.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11554857/1/Slow-Arrow

This fic is what started me on Solavallen. An antisocial, semi feral Lavellan forced to be the Herald. Game rewrite done well. I reread what's written at least once a year.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11319069/chapters/25334535

I read this whole damn thing in a day, then immediately turned around to read it again and commented on each chapter. Also Solavallen. Modern day Daddy Long Legs college AU.

https://m.fanfiction.net/u/1035027/

Pretty much everything by Forthright. I read a lot of Inuyasha pairings I'm not normally into because of her. She mostly does drabble stories. I started reading because of her Sess/Kag ones, though.

https://raindrops-doujin.tumblr.com/

It's a Sess/Kag comic/manga, and super well done. I've been following this since she started up on DeviantArt. Slow progression of their friendship over a series of chance encounters.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4153884/chapters/9371985

This is FUCKING AMAZING. My all time favorite AVP fic. Humans have joined the intergalactic community. Nasira is the first major human ambassador, and takes her job very seriously. Enter the AVP part of the story. 🤣 Bad times ensue.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5201648/chapters/11988044

Best gen Star Wars fic I've read. It's a very long and involved series, but so good! I reread the damn thing constantly. The whole series. Obi-Wan is killed by Darth Vader and wakes up decades in the past, before Anakin was even born. Now two Obi-Wan's have to work together to figure out how to save the universe.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7622024/1/House-at-Row-s-Edge

My favorite Snape/Hermione fic. Deliciously depressing. In his will, Snape leaves Hermione his house. No one knows why, but makes a lot of assumptions about their relationship. Hermione also doesn't know why he left her the place, but she's about to find out.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11562871/1/Addendum-He-Is-Also-A-Liar

Really good Tom Riddle/Hermione time travel fic, where Tom travels forward. Starts pre Hogwarts and works its way up from there.

https://m.fanfiction.net/u/1580678/

Everything by Cocoartist. I mostly read the Tom Riddle/Hermione ones. They've migrated some stuff to AO3, but not all of it. Hence the ff.net shortcut.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24407335

Is one of my favorites and is on AO3, though. Tom Riddle/Hermione. Hermione goes back in time, and discovers that some things can't be changed no matter how hard you try.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2045742

This is a very satisfying story. 🤷 Hermione as a Slytherin, being a boss. A prophecy distinguishes her from being a Muggleborn into being a New Blood. What's a New Blood? She's going to find out.

Favorite Video Games: Pretty much all series here. Dragon Age, Dragon Quest, Dragon Warriors, Dragon Warriors Monsters, Pokemon, and Mass Effect has recently joined the list. Individual games I like are Jade Empire, Baldur's Gate Dark Alliance 2, Champions of Norrath 1, and I love watching people play The Last of Us and Alien Isolation. I'm too much of a wuss to play them myself.

I'm glad this thing doesn't ask for my favorite books. 😱

Tagging @somekndofnature @whimsicalmeerkat @voylitscope

[kiridarling]

𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐁𝐎.

thank you so much to @daisy-bakugo for letting me participate in her vice city collab! i had a blast writing this piece, and i’m terribly sorry this is so long that was a mistake (and congrats on 2k!!) also, the phattest of thank you’s to @eijishimas for brainstorming/beta-ing :) you saved me ☺🤲🏼

katsuki bakugou and eijirou kirishima | f!reader, time travel sex, guns, prostitute/stripper idrk!reader, tw!blood (non-descriptive), dacryphilia, squirting, spit roasting, d-penn, shower sex, multiple rounds. minors dni!

— 5k words (yikes)

"Say, Sweetheart. You wanna get outta here?"

Las Vegas, Nevada. April 15th, Year 3036.

"You ready?"

Mina shoots you a look through the golden-lit mirror, wiggling her eyebrows. You roll your eyes and finish dusting the powder off your cheeks before rising to your feet and tugging at the belt of your silk robe. "My answer's the same every night."

Vice City. A strip club and casino in Las Vegas, Nevada, where opposites collide—the poor and the rich, the beautiful and the ugly, the smart and the stupid. There's no judgment because here, they're all degenerates looking for a good time, and you're just a pretty face with a good body.

As your silk robe hits the floor, it's kicked to the side with a heel, and you saunter through the beaded entrance to your private room and into the vibrating club. Giving your bodyguard a solid pat on the shoulder as you watch the sea of bodies shake, you complete the ritual.

"No creeps?" You demand more than request. He nods curtly.

"No creeps."

You give him a cute little smile and let your hand linger for a little longer than necessary before stepping into the neon red chaos of the strip club. Because what do the rich and the poor have in common?

They're all addicts.

Surprisingly, humanity doesn’t kill the planet.

Mother Nature's still standing strong—though the sun is a bit swollen—and space exploration solved that overpopulation issue. Bill Gates taught us all how to avoid a climate disaster and Tesla put Ford out of business. Humanity is much bigger than earth now; we're no longer people of the planet, but an intergalactic species that still eat Costco pizza rolls for dinner but killed Cable along with cars with wheels. Costco still exists—Starbucks doesn't.

Still no aliens, though.

"See something you like, Cutie?"

In your defense, he's been standing over here with his friends for ages—almost like they're casing the damn place—but those ruby red eyes kept floating your way regardless, and you'd rather bag it with someone your age before you're requested by another seventy-year-old. The redhead blinks like he's shocked you came over here in the first place—like he didn't watch you sashay yourself to the other side of the club just for him. You suppose the name fits. Cutie.

He looks at you with a strangely giddy look on his face before he's licking his lips and swallowing, eyes flickering to the blondie to his right.

"I'll be back in like, twenty minutes, man."

The blond gives him an exasperated look and groans—his other two friends don't notice. "Eiji—"

"Twenty minutes!" The redhead yells over the music as you not-so-subtly pull him away. Your regular GILF looks your way, and you suppress the queasy feeling in knowing that at least you'll be able to fuck someone from your decade.

"You got a wallet, Cutie?" You purr as you two approach the back room. The redhead winks, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out the fattest black leather wallet you've seen in a long time.

"Don't go anywhere without it," he says, but falters when your bodyguard holds his hand out with a request for fifty bucks. "I—whoa dude, why am I paying you?"

"Because that's how it goes. The young lady gets her share," your bodyguard clarifies. The redhead looks at you for what seems to be for confirmation. You nod.

"Alright," he resigns with a shrug, stuffing a fifty into your bodyguard's sweaty hand. The man grunts but clears some of the beads guarding the entrance to your private room anyways, giving you two enough space to go inside.

"No door? That seems a little...exposing," the redhead snorts to himself before he's holding his hand out, despite the fact that you’re already nestling comfortably in his lap. "Eijirou, by the way."

You take his hand apprehensively, and he snorts at your confused frown. Eijirou's big—painfully so, and you feel small sat upon his thick thighs because you are in comparison—and he has to curve his back a bit so you're at eye-level. "What? No one's introduced themselves to you before?"

You shake your head, "Usually they just throw me onto the bed and get right to it."

Eijirou rolls his eyes at that, and you don't realize he's guiding your hips into a smooth roll until the harsh fabric of his jeans brushes against you in the best way. He moves you in time with the music vibrating the walls, "I guess that makes me more of a gentleman, then."

His lips hover over yours and yet he never advances, doesn't move to kiss you on the lips, nothing—it nearly has you buzzing. So does the hand he pins you to his lap with. "Are you going to kiss me or what?"

"What's your name, Sweetheart," he asks lowly. You give it to him, and he grins.

"Y/N,” Eijirou tries on his lips before he confirms it with a nod. "A pretty name for a pretty girl."

"Aren't you the flatterer," you purr, coiling your arms around your neck. His hand finds your ass and you're almost positive he's going to close the gap between you two until he says:

"Who were you runnin' from, Y/N?”

Years in the business help build a mask and you wear yours well, with that cute little smile as you cock your head to the side and ask, "I'm afraid I'm not following."

"Oh, I think you are," he says, looking you dead in the eyes. The gravity in his face doesn't falter. "Who was it."

As he stares into your soul, your own eyes avert to the sheets. "What's it to you?"

"It's nothing to me, really," he shrugs off his jacket and places it on the bed next to him before returning to his initial position—or perhaps, closer. "But I happen to find you real cute, and cute things deserve to feel safe, no?"

"In case you haven't checked, this isn't a very safe place," you scoff, removing your arms from his neck to cross them over your chest. "And I don't appreciate idiots like you trying to save someone like me just 'cause you wanna get your dick wet more than once."

Eijirou raises an eyebrow but he never stalls, "Oh? This happens often then?"

"I—" you falter, "...No."

"C'mon, Sweetheart," Eijirou tugs you by the waist and you have to press your hands to his chest to keep him from falling forwards. "You don't wanna stay in this place, do you?"

"It's my job," you defend with a huff. The redhead shrugs.

"Sure, but don't you want a little adventure? A little excitement in your life?"

"Like there isn't enough excitement right here?" You snort. Eijirou teeters his head back and forth, though the daring look never fades.

"But something tells me you're bored," he says with a near sarcastic face, clicking his tongue. "Something tells me you find the idea of something new exciting."

You open your mouth to respond but he keeps you from doing so, finally pressing his lips to yours. You nearly squeal in surprise but somehow, you find yourself kissing back with a passion you've never kissed another client with before—and maybe, just maybe, the idea of something new doesn't sound too bad.

Eijirou pulls away with a cocky grin like he knew you'd like it. Like he knew that'd be the catalyst for your response to what he says next, and maybe, he's not as much of an idiot as you thought.

And maybe you’re more of an idiot than you thought.

"Say, Sweetheart. You wanna get outta here?"

"Yes," you breathe, like an idiot, because you were wholly and utterly unprepared for what happens next.

Eijirou gives you the cutest smile, before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a gun.

He sees your expression change and lifts both hands, pointing the black pistol towards the ceiling, "I—hey wait, you're gonna be fine, okay? I won't shoot you."

You cower and he pouts. Apparently, this wasn't the reaction he was expecting at all.

"I swear! I'm mentally stable, see?" He flips it sideways with a grin, "the safety's on."

You hate it that his comment makes you trust him. Slightly.

"C'mon," Eijirou smiles, reaching his gunless hand out for you to take. You do, albeit reluctantly. "I won't do anything too stupid. Just...shake things up a bit."

Shake things up a bit, Eijirou says, and yet the first thing he does is when you two exit the room is press the pistol to your bodyguard’s head.

"Eijirou," you hiss. Luckily no one in the club has noticed, yet, but you doubt their ignorance will last for long.

"I'm gonna need my fifty back, buddy," Eijirou pats the man on the back, and it's strange—you've always thought your bodyguard to be a big guy, but he looks rather petite next to the redhead. Your bodyguard reaches for his walkie-talkie, but Eijirou tuts, tapping his hand away with the tip of his gun.

"Hey dude, I'm not gonna shoot you. See? The safety's on," He repeats, flashing the barrel. Your bodyguard's eyes widen, and so do yours.

The safety isn't on.

"So, that fifty," Eijirou purrs, and your bodyguard stuffs the bill into his chest with a grumble. Eijirou hums, satisfied, and gives the crumpled bill to you without a second glance, too busy nodding to his friend on the other side of the strip club. A noirette from across the way nods back.

Pop-pop!

It's fucking chaos, as anyone would expect when blindly firing into a crowded club. Eijirou keeps a tight hold on your hand as he and his other three boys storm towards the pit bosses working the casinos with guns a-blazing, demanding they fill their pillowcases like a bunch of C-class thugs.

What the fuck did you get yourself into.

"This is not what I meant by excitement," you hiss through grit teeth as a terrified pit boss fills Eijirou's bag like he's a greedy kid with an attitude on Halloween, while your co-workers cower under the bar and pool tables. Eijirou sticks his tongue your way.

"This isn't the exciting part, Little Miss Excitement."

It's the steady sound of sirens that has your eyes widening, and the fact that you're positive they're getting louder. You catch sight of your bodyguard on his walkie-talkie, big body cowering behind the smallest trashcan, and turn back just in time to see Eijirou squint as he aims and shoots bullseye.

"That is."

The police have lost sight of two vehicles carrying the four armed men who robbed Vice City Casino and Club tonight at roughly 2:53 am. Witnesses say they came in a group of four but left with an exotic dancer named—

The moment the blondie from the club sees you walk through the door, he’s tossing the stack of bills in his hand with a sigh.

"Katsuki, Y/N. Y/N, Katsuki."

Katsuki looks nothing but happy, and refuses to acknowledge your presence as he crosses his arms.

"Ei. What the hell did we say about witnesses."

"Um," the redhead rubs his lips together before wearily looking at you, and you hike his jacket further up your shoulder. At least he was decent enough to give you that. She's an exception?"

"Not a fuckin' thing," the blond grunts, turning to you to flash a tight smile. "Goodbye."

"I—wait," Eijirou skates until he's stood over the ash-blond, with a hand on his shoulder and the other braced against the table. Speaking in a quieter voice, he says, "C'mon man. The poor thing was practically begging to get outta there."

The ash-blond does nothing but sigh before shoving a palm into a pile of money to push himself into the kitchen—and subsequently further away from you.

"She's gonna call the cops," Katsuki grunts wearily from the island, eyes narrowed. Eijirou follows.

"She's not gonna call the cops, dude," the redhead scoffs at the outlandish idea. "You heard the radio! At this point, she's as deep in it as we are."

As they continue to go back and forth over the island, you let your eyes wander. It’s a penthouse, and rather homely, with near egg yolk lighting, high walls, and big windows. You can't help but think about how you're in a strangely expensive part of the city before remembering this evening's events. No wonder they can afford such a nice place.

You find yourself smiling at a particular corner with a frustrating amount of photos stuffed on a little glass table, one that contains a selfie of the two housemates in high school uniforms. There's a ring sat in front of it, one that glints gold when you hold it up to your face, and if you squint you can see little flecks of green in the red of the ruby. It looks scarily close to an engagement ring.

"Hey, what's this?"

Both of their eyes rocket from the conversation to see you slip the delicate thing onto your ring finger.

"Don't touch it!" Eijirou tenses before realizing it's much too late for that. "Er—at least don't twist the top."

"The...top?" You ask, lifting your hand until it's at eye level.

"Yeah like, the jewel thingy," the redhead gestures to the ruby—and you can't stop thinking about how it's almost the same color as his hair. Waddling into the kitchen with your eye still trained on the thing, you ask:

"What is it?"

"A time-travel device," the ash-blond grunts. Eyes still full of suspicion, he watches you and the redhead interact over the island with arms crossed over his chest and reclining against the sink. You frown.

"Aren't those usually...bigger?" Because even though it's 3036, time-travel is still fairly new (space exploration took a long time, okay) and all the machines you've seen are at least the size of a shower. And yet, this one can sit on your pinky.

"Kats has been working on some stuff," Eijirou beams and it edges on proud; you notice the ash-blond near blushes with a huff as you hop to sit on the marble counter.

"'S nothin'."

You stare at the thing in faint amazement, and Katsuki kicks off the sink to near the island. Lifting an eyebrow, you say, "You know you could get rich off something like this? Instead of robbing strip clubs for a living.”

The ash-blond scoffs, and you wonder if someone else has told him that before. "If I gave that to the public, I have no fuckin' clue what they'd do with that shit."

And you shrug, supposing he's right—time-travel devices are hard to get your hands on, and that's for a reason. If everyone starts jumping around in the time-space continuum, fucking with shit, the world will promptly and utterly collapse. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

"It doesn't work with a big time range," Katsuki defends with a shrug, sliding his forearms on the counter. "The most it can do is a few hours"

"Not that it makes this any less cool," Eijirou says with a slight bounce. "I personally think it's really fun to play with."

Katsuki rolls his eyes. "That's 'cause you use it to fuck."

You nearly choke.

"I—what?"

"W-Well, okay," Eijirou chuckles sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "But also other stuff! Like when I'm really hungry, I might go to the future and take some of my fries. Future me's fries, that is."

"Or you'll try to take future-me’s goddamn burger," Katsuki growls. You flip the ring over like there's anything left to see.

"How often do you use it?"

"Nightly," Katsuki answers for him. Your eyebrows lift. Oh wow.

"It—it's not nightly," Eijirou defends weakly, huffing and puffing. "Weekly maybe, but—"

"Almost every night," Katsuki sums for him, giving you a little grin. You snort back before your eyes drop to the ring again.

"Uh oh," the redhead almost gasps, fingers thrumming on the island on either side of your being, "She's thinkin' about it."

"I'm not thinking about it," you huff, though your eyes never leave the ring. It's an...interesting prospect.

"Oh, you're totally thinking about it," Katsuki grunts, and you struggle to find where his enthusiasm came from. What happened to goodbye?

"C'mon," Eijirou tempts with a casual toss of the head. He touches your shoulder—Katsuki touches the other. "See what happens."

"What if—" you stare at the ring with pursed lips, fingers grabbing the ruby. "What if it's random? Or if we're not where we expect to be in a few hours or something."

Eijirou shrugs. "It's always a gamble, but that's where the fun is, no?"

You look down at the thing with a sigh. You suppose.

In one quick move, you twist the gem and screw your eyes shut. At first, you feel nothing, but then there's a sudden head rush, and you can easily see how someone can get addicted to this.

You hear a faint sound, one that could be excused as a rush of wind past your ears, before you feel your knees against a hard surface and your body in a different position.

"Oh, I like this much better."

You open to your eyes to a much different sight than you closed them to.

Katsuki and Eijirou look gargantuan when you’re on your knees, your back flush against the refrigerator and eyes watering due to the cock nestled halfway down your throat. You choke in surprise from the sensation, hands rushing to keep Katsuki from cutting your oxygen supply off for good as Eijirou stands impatient, cock hard in his hand and drooling for attention.

"F-Fuck," the ash-blond wheezes, seemingly just as taken aback from the position as you are. "Your mouth is fuckin' heaven."

"C'mon Sweetheart, don't ignore me now," EIjirou purrs, chuckling as the head of his cock hits your cheek with a wet slap. "At least give me a little something."

You grab his cock harder than you would've out of slight indignance, grinning around the other when it makes him hiss; Eijirou joins Katsuki in resting a hand on the fridge door for purchase.

You weren't the best at Vice City for nothing, after all.

"Shit, loosen that grip a little, will ya?" Eijirou wheezes—you don't listen, and his chest shudders when you seem to only move faster.

"'M too fuckin' close, where's that ring," Katsuki blabbers more than he grunts, and you lift your hand just in time for him to twist the jewel again, sending you three rocketing into the past.

You cough and splutter atop the kitchen island, chest heaving as you finally get the air Katsuki's cock allows. The head rush definitely doesn't help, and you find yourself getting dizzy enough to grab for someone's hand.

"Breathe, Princess," Katsuki says, and Eijirou lifts your hand to his chest so yours can rise and fall with his.

"So that's," you wheeze once you're able to get some semblance of a breath back. "That's time travel sex, huh?"

"Yeah," Eijirou says, a little breathless himself. "Addictive, right?"

"A little," you giggle, and find yourself looking for the ring again. Katsuki snorts.

"What, you wanna go back or somethin'?"

You flush red, eyes darting to the walls guilty, "A little bi—wah!"

There's a rush and the room morphs again. You would’ve fallen headfirst into a set of white sheets if it weren’t for the fact that you’re sat on Eijirou’s face.

"Hello beautiful~" the redhead singsongs from below, and you can't help but notice your bra is MIA as Katsuki takes a seat behind

you to run his hands up your sides to put the underside of your breasts.

"Pervert," you snort, though you figure you’re just as bad as he is with two of Eijirou's fingers deep in your pussy and Katsuki's hand on your clit. The redhead's leaving hickey after hickey on your inner thighs and you just try your damnest to not fall.

"Only for you," Eijirou winks cheekily, scissoring his fingers, and your hips stutter against his face when he slides his tongue in between.

"Fuckin' love the sounds you make," Katsuki grunts, before his other hand finds your neck and tightens. "And fuck you're so goddamn wet—you love this, don't you?"

You keen with a nod (and suppress the urge to say no shit, Sherlock), and Katsuki's pinching your clit between his two fingers, licking a fat stripe up your neck and chuckling when you shiver.

"What, your clients don't make you feel this good, Sweetheart?" Eijirou practically moans into your cunt, eyebrows folding when you thread your fingers through his hair and yank. "Bet that fifty was worth it, wasn't it?"

"Y-Yeah I—" you whimper, unable to get a sentence past your shuddering chest. "Guys, I'm gonna—"

The bedroom melts back into the kitchen, you're back in Eijirou’s jacket and not sat on his face. Your thighs and neck are hickey-less and yet, you're still so fucking horny.

"I hate you," you seethe, almost immediately, and Eijirou's grin is so wide it bends his eyes.

"Awe, you love me," he giggles and your frown only deepens as you reach for the ring—Katsuki snatches it out of arms way with a tut.

"Ah ah Princess, don't be greedy now," he purrs, but you couldn't give a shit about being greedy, and it shows in the way you quickly grab for it again. Katsuki passes the ring to Eijirou and it easily becomes a game of monkey in the middle.

"Give it—"

"I don't think so, Sweetheart," Eijirou says, pressing a big hand to your face to keep you from going any further. With a smirk, the redhead twists the ring, and suddenly you're full of him on the kitchen counter.

"Fuck baby, you're so tight," he curses behind grit teeth, sweat practically dripping off his shoulders in rivulets as he pushes your face into the kitchen island so hard it's numb. So are your knees. "You're so pretty like this—shit—"

You barely have the room to whimper, let alone answer, and you find Katsuki perched on the opposite counter, weeping cock in hand. The redhead chuckles as you struggle to take all of him, hips squirming as he aims for places you've never been able to hit on your own. "I'd stick your tongue back in your mouth if I were you, Sweetheart. The money’s a little dirty, don't you think?"

And that's when you realize your knees are elevated upon two stacks of green, possibly some of what Katsuki had been counting earlier, and a twenty swims in a pool of drool under your cheek.

"Oh, but I don't think you care," Eijirou grunts, shoving your face deeper into the marble countertop as his hips speed up. "Dirty fuckin' girl. Bet you'd do anything for a fifty."

"I wanna fuck her," Katsuki rushes as if his mouth moves before he can speak. Eijirou wheezes a laugh.

"What, I can't enjoy this?"

"No,” the ash-blond grunts.

"Hmm..." Eijirou debates, though his hips never stop as he gives Katsuki a look and goes, "How about no?"

Katsuki growls at that, and you find your fingers clumsily twisting the ruby on the ring that sits on Eijirou's finger, sending the three of you flinging further into the future.

"Fuck!"

"This isn't the future I was referring to, but I'm not complainin'," Katsuki grunts with a feral grin. You nearly slip due to all the water in the shower and you're positive that you see the sunrise through the window paint Eijirou's skin gold.

"I gotcha, Sweetheart," Eijirou soothes, rubbing a hand up and down your arms while your nails dig into his shoulders, the red lines jagged from how roughly Katsuki fucks you from behind. "Fuck—you're doing so good for us, taking him so well."

You whimper and Katsuki lands a heavy slap on your ass—heavy to the point where you nearly knocks both you and the redhead into the tile behind him. Eijirou's calloused hands find your clit fairly easily, and that's enough to almost send you over the edge, pussy fluttering around Katsuki's cock.

"She's gonna cum," Katsuki grunts. "Can fuckin' feel it."

"Uh oh," the redhead singsongs, turning to you with a grin. "Were you trying to be slick, Sweetheart?”

Though it's difficult, you lift your head, eyes swimming in unshed tears as you choke, "I—n-no, it's jus—"

You're in the bedroom again—this time your back comes in contact with a dresser, metal rattling from the weight Eijirou slams you into it with. The redhead supports you both with two feet planted into the floor and a hand around your waist, grunting into your ear with an exhaustion that implies you've got to be at this for hours.

"Ei-Eiji—"

"I know, Sweetheart," the redhead coos breathlessly, licking up the sweat that runs down your neck. "Just a few more times, okay? Hold on for just a little longer."

You sob, head thunking against the wall as you realize you have no idea where Katsuki is. Though it's only a fleeting thought because before you know it, Eijirou's dropping you to your feet, bending you in half, and railing you into the wall.

"Goddamn," he grunts, sharp teeth digging into his bottom lip, "this is—this is the best lay I've had in a fat second."

You pant a laugh, hands pressing into the wall to steady yourself, "Good—good to know the fifty bucks was worth it."

"Oh baby, it was more than worth it," Eijirou hikes your leg up as high as it'll go for a deeper angle and he gets it, his growl melting into a semi-chuckle as you squeal, thighs jumping.

"Fuck Ei!" You scream, and he's tugging your hair to straighten your back out.

"You like it rough, Sweetheart?" He pants into your ear, grabbing your neck for a better grip. You nod as much as you can.

"Y-Yeah—I—" Eijirou drops you until you're stood at a perfect 90-degree angle, "I need—need'ta cum, p-please—"

"Twist the ring, Sweetheart," He pants, resting his hand on the wall next to yours. It still glints gold on his fourth finger in the moonlight, "Get us there together, yeah?"

You don't have to be told twice.

"Mph!"

"Fuck!”

Your knees dig into a mattress again as Katsuki fills your mouth. With his cock down your throat and Eijirou's buried deep in your cunt, there isn't much you can do but take both of them at the same time—though you're positive that's what they intended.

"Shit, me too." Eijirou wheezes a chuckle as his hips piston into you, his sweaty chest sticking to your back while he reaches between your thighs to rub your clit. That’s enough to send you flailing over the edge, moan muffled by Katsuki’s slowly softening cock. Then, with a devilish grin (and before the redhead can cum) Katsuki reaches for the ring on Eijirou’s finger and twists it.

“You asshole,” Eijirou groans, and suddenly you three are back in the shower, with Katsuki’s hips battering into yours as the redhead supports your weight from below. Katsuki chuckles before his grip tightens and he’s filling you with another load.

“C’mon Princess,” Katsuki grunts, reaching for your clit. “Come for us again.”

You choke again before you’re digging your head into Eijirou’s muscled chest with a moan, shaking from the aftershocks Katsuki continues to fuck you through them.

Until the room morphs, and you’re face down on the kitchen counter.

“Fucking finally,” Eijirou wheezes with a bitter chuckle, casually flipping Katsuki the middle finger as he's sat on the opposing counter. “Fuck, you're shaking baby, you gonna cum with me? Yeah?“

Eijirou batters into your cervix and that's the catalyst for your third orgasm. You squeeze so tight you think you may have knocked the wind out of the redhead when his chest crashes into your back, and you open your eyes just in time to see the kitchen melt into the bedroom again—in a time you all have yet to visit.

Your legs are thrown over Katsuki’s shoulders as he pushes your back deeper into Eijirou’s chest, both of their cocks filling you so much and so well it brings tears to your eyes. As your thighs quiver with an impending orgasm, Katsuki’s the first to fall off the edge, eyebrows furrowing as his nails dig into the meat of your thighs.

“Oh fuck,” he groans, voice fucked hoarse and lips bit pink. Eijirou nibbles into your shoulder with a gasp as his sweaty hand finds your clit again, neither of their hips ever stopping.

“Cum for us one more time, Sweetheart,” he pants into your neck before adding another hickey to the collection. Your chest shudders.

“I—I can’t—“

“Oh yes you fuckin’ can,” Katsuki growls, and you squeal as he tweaks a nipple. “I know you got one more in there. Give it.”

Your legs kick against his chest with a curse as you orgasm for the final time—this one much wetter than the last.

“Holy shit,” Eijirou nearly laughs, looking at where the three of you are connected. “Did you just squirt?”

“I—“ your face blends red when you see the absolute and utter mess that sits in Katsuki’s lap, before looking away with a determination to never see it again. “...Maybe.”

“Clean up?” Eijirou asks, eyes flickering to the ash-blond. Katsuki shrugs.

“Nah.”

A rush of wind and you’re sat on the kitchen counter. Eijirou’s jacket protects you from getting goosebumps due to a drop in temperature and though you do shiver, you find your body much more unscathed than it was.

“Hi,” Eijirou chuckles a little breathlessly.

“Hi,” you giggle back, a little nervous but in the best way. “So um...we do all of that tonight?”

“I guess so,” the redhead says a bit cheekily, raising an eyebrow. And then, with a wink, “Probably more.”

You stare at the ring on his hand in awe. Whoa.

"I fuck—fine, we can keep her, Shitty Hair," Katsuki grumbles from his spot near the kitchen sink, and despite the sour look on his face, you can't find a hint of it in his voice. Figures.

"Told you he'd say yes," Eijirou beams with a thumbs up.

"Can we...go do that stuff now?" You ask, albeit a bit hesitantly because...well, usually people are asking to have sex with you. Is this how they feel?

"Of course we can, Sweetheart," the redhead beams, before taking the ring off to place it onto the counter. "It was all a part of the future, after all."

[the-bau-quinjet]

Hygge

Summary: Y/N introduces Bucky to the little things that he missed out on since the 40s.

Warnings: Absolutely none, just fluff :)

Word Count: 3527

a/n: Hygge is a Danish word, and from what I can tell it perfectly encompasses finding happiness in the little things.

This request honestly had me smiling the whole time I wrote it. Thank you to everyone who gave me suggestions of things to introduce Bucky to (including my sisters who don't know why I asked them that question lol)

Also, I find happiness in looking at this gif so I would like to thank @thebritishstanfan for its existence on this app

You heard the door open just as you finished running the bath.

"Bucky!" You ran out to the living room, throwing your arms around him in greeting.

"Hi, Doll." He whispered into hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He instantly relaxed at your touch.

"I have a surprise for you." You grabbed his hand, leading him to the bathtub. "I thought you might want to relax a bit, so I ran you a bath."

Just being in your presence was relaxing to him, but he wouldn't turn down a bath, especially one with the potential of you joining him.

"Are you going to relax with me?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively eliciting a laugh from you.

"Maybe later, this is about you right now." You smiled softly, eager to help him unwind.

He undressed quickly, lowering himself into the warm water as you searched through a shopping bag.

"Okay. Big Blue, Intergalactic, Love Boat, or Goddess?" You looked at him expectantly.

He stared at you, confusion evident on his face.

"Oh, do you want to smell them and then decide?" You questioned with a tilt of your head.

"Smell what?" His brows furrowed, mouth slightly agape.

"The bath bombs silly." You smiled brightly, bringing the bag closer to him.

"Why would I want a bomb in my bath?" He questioned your odd behavior.

"It's not a real bomb, Buck." You shook your head, randomly removing one of the bath bombs from the bag, Goddess. You held it out for him to take.

"Smell it." You instructed.

He was apprehensive in his movements, but slowly moved the purple ball to his nose.

"It smells like flowers." He stated plainly, waiting for you to explain more.

"Yep. Here, smell the rest of them." You handed him each of the bath bombs, waiting to hear his verdict on each one.

"Oh, that's surprisingly citrus-y." He held out Love Boat for you to take back.

"This one smells too clean." He shook his head, dropping Big Blue into the outstretched bag.

"I like this one." He held Intergalactic in his hand, smiling proudly.

"Perfect. Lower it into the water." Your eyes were filled with love as you watched him follow your instructions.

"It's fizzing." He looked at you, concern evident in his bright blue eyes.

"It's supposed to. It dissolves in the water, coloring the bath and also adding scent from essential oils." You did your best to explain.

"Why?" He narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"It's just... have you ever heard of hygge?" You waited for his answer.

"Yeah, I've heard the word. It's like feeling cozy and happy from little things." He looked to you for approval.

"Exactly. That's what bath bombs are for, at least to me. They make me happy, so I thought you might like to try one."

The bath water had turned a dark blue, glitter floating throughout.

"Nobody thought to explain bath bombs to me, I guess." He smiled at you, relaxing into the bath. "What else makes you happy?"

"You know what, I'll make a list of little things that I love and then we can spend a day together where I show them to you." You bit your lip in anticipation of his response.

"I'd love that." He grinned.

"Yay! I'm going to get started!" You quickly left the bathroom, leaving him to relax on his own.

-

"What's got you so excited?" Sam gestures to your bouncing knee.

"Oh, I didn't even notice. I'm just showing Bucky some things that he's missed out on since the 40s." You smile grew as you thought about the list you had made.

You were just about to find Bucky and show him the list when you had to leave for an impromptu mission.

You were definitely annoyed your plans had been delayed, but it made you a force to be reckoned with while fighting.

"So that's why you were so ruthless. You've got a hot date." Sam winked.

"Whatever you say Sam." You shook your head. "I've got to drop by Starbucks before they close. See you later!" You called as you ran from the jet, still in mission gear.

The disheveled state of your clothing and hair earned you some looks from the Starbucks employees, but you were too excited to care.

You quickly stopped in your room to change before heading off to find Bucky.

"BuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBuckyBucky!" You said his name over and over as you ran to the common area.

Skidding to a stop, you held up the drinks in your hands. "Bucky! Are you ready?"

He seemed to be in the middle of something with Steve, but abandoned it immediately at the sight of you.

"Sorry, punk. I've gotta go." He grabbed a drink from you, sliding his other hand into your newly empty one.

"Wow, jerk. You get a girlfriend and replace me!" Steve yelled after you in a joking tone.

"Don't worry Stevie. Nobody could replace you." You called back over your shoulder, dragging Bucky to the kitchen.

"Okay, I've got a few different categories. The first one we're going to tackle is food!" You smiled brightly, nearly bouncing in anticipation.

"Can you preheat the oven to 350 degrees?" You asked as you grabbed a bag from the freezer.

You swiftly dumped the contents onto the tray, shoving them into the oven while it preheated.

"Aren't you supposed to wait until it's hot?" Bucky watched as you slid around the room.

"Yes, but I've always been impatient. It'll be fine. I promise! While those are cooking, I've got a few other things for you. These are from the 90s."

You handed him a bag of flamin' hot cheetos, watching with bated breath as he opened it and sniffed the contents.

"They smell bizarre. Why are they so red?" He looked at the cheeto in his hand with confusion.

"It's the flamin' hot cheeto dust! It may be unnaturally red, but it's so satisfying to eat." You grabbed the bag from him, eating a cheeto of your own.

He eyed you carefully, slowly popping the cheeto into his mouth and chewing carefully.

"Doll, these are terrible." He deadpanned, grinning when you pouted.

"Bucky!" You whined. "You have to eat more than one for the full experience. It doesn't matter that they aren't the best flavor wise, there's just something about them that's addicting." You laughed, eating a few more cheetos.

"Alright, alright. I'll follow your lead." The two of you snacked as you brought his attention to the next item.

"Okay, these don't really go with the cheeto flavor, but they still make me happy. Starbucks only does holiday drinks around the holidays, obviously. These are my two favorite."

You handed him one beverage, gesturing for him to try it.

"Minty..." He waited for an explanation.

"Yes. Peppermint mocha!" You swapped the cups, letting him try the next drink. "That one is an eggnog latte."

"They're both pretty good, although I still like my coffee black." He placed the cup back on the counter.

"Yeah, I thought you might say that. There's just something about them. Probably because they're seasonal drinks. It makes me associate them with the holidays and spending time with friends and family and that makes me smile."

He pressed a kiss to your nose. "You are too cute."

"I know!" You scrunched your nose, knowing he finds it adorable. "Next item!" You presented him with three different packages of Oreos.

"Why so many?" He questioned.

"Because, they're different flavors. I now Oreos were originally produced in like 1912 or something, that's why I got different flavors."

"Actually, I don't think I've ever tried one." He eyed the blue package excitedly.

"Ahh, while I got double stuffed because they're obviously better than the regular ones. I've also got peanut butter and mint. Honestly, pretty mild flavors all things considered." You laughed, picturing the key lime flavor you avoided.

Bucky grabbed one of each, excited to try all three.

"I think the mint one is my favorite. It really goes with the peppermint mocha." He nodded as he spoke, as if he needed to convince himself.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." You smiled, watching as he ate three more cookies.

Before he could reply, the timer went off.

"The dino nuggies!" You reached for the potholder, pulling the tray out of the over. "This is the last food item."

He looked at the tray, confusion clear in his eyes.

"Doll, are these just chicken nuggets?" He picked up a brontosaurus from the tray.

"Well, yes." You huffed. "But! They're shaped like dinosaurs!" You bit your lip in excitement, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

"So? They still taste the same..." Bucky clearly did not understand the hype.

"Right again. It's so much more fun to eat though. Gives you a childlike enthusiasm, even as a fully grown adult." He eyed you skeptically as he bit off the head of a dino.

He couldn't help but smile as you watched him, anticipating his reaction.

"Ya know, you might be right. That was weirdly satisfying."

The two of you spent the next few minutes eating chicken nuggets, hot cheetos, and oreos, occasionally sipping from the holiday beverages.

After quickly cleaning up the kitchen, you lead Bucky to your bathroom.

"Sit down." You gestured to the toilet.

"Why?" He still did as he was asked.

"Because." You answered petulantly. You filled a paper cup with water, carefully dumping it on his head to get his hair wet.

"Y/N!" Bucky jolted from the cold water.

"Sorry! I forgot it was cold!" You quickly plugged in the blowdryer, letting the warm air waft over his head.

"You know, if that thing was quieter, I think I could fall asleep right now." Bucky stated calmly as you ran your fingers through his hair, trying to evenly distribute the warm air amongst the hair.

"I know, right! There's something about someone else blow drying your hair that is so soothing."

You spent the next few minutes drying Bucky's hair and massaging his scalp.

"All done!" you exclaimed, unplugging the blow dryer and putting it back in the cabinet.

"Are you sure you don't want to do that again?" Bucky questioned, still sitting on the toilet.

"Yes. We've got more things to cover!" You pulled him off the toilet, nearly dragging him to your bed.

"Next category is entertainment, I guess." You brought out your laptop, certain apps already open to show him different things.

"We'll start with animals!" You were buzzing with excitement, and caffeine, as you opened two different browsers.

"Doll, animals existed in the 40s." He shook his head, endlessly amused by your behavior.

"I know that. Have you ever seen a Highland Cow?" You raised your brow, challenging his statement.

"I can't say I have." He shook his head slightly.

"Well, there you go. Animals it is. Actually, have you ever used Alexa?" You questioned him.

"No... Who is Alexa?" His confusion earned a laugh from you.

"An AI." You explained before bursting out into laughter again.

"Oh, like Friday?" He questioned.

"Yeah, but Alexa's not nearly as advanced. Here, watch this." You cleared your throat, making sure to speak clearly. "Alexa, show me pictures of Highland cows."

After a brief buffer, the AI responded. "Here are pictures of Highland cows." The google search appeared on your screen.

"So you can ask her anything?" Bucky questioned.

"Sort of, Friday knows way more. Alexa's good for little things though. Tony gets annoyed if you ask Friday to do too many small things because it can take up too much RAM and... You know what, it's not important." You decided against explaining since Bucky already looked confused.

You shifted your screen so he could see the many pictures displayed.

"Okay, so what's so special about a Highland cow?" He scrolled through the images, unaware of the smile forming on his face.

"There's just something about them. You'll find that same explanation for a lot of things I'm showing you, but it's true. They just make me smile. Look at how cute they are!" You emphatically gestured to the screen, nearly squealing at the adorable display.

"I actually see what you mean. Looking at them just makes you smile." He nodded his head thoughtfully, a small grin still pulling at his lips. "What other animal are you introducing me to?"

"Well, I assume you know what a puppy is." You said in complete seriousness.

"I do, indeed." He matched your tone, mocking the seriousness. He was really enjoying the playfulness you were showcasing.

"Well, here is a video of actor Tom Holland... you know Tom Holland, right?" You turned to face him.

"Tom Holland. Tom Holland... What's he in again?" His brows pinched together in thought.

"We've watched a few of his new movies together. Chaos Walking, The Devil All the Time, a few animated films, In the Heart of the Sea."

"Oh! The British one?" Recognition crossed his features.

"Yes! That one. Okay so, this is an interview of him..."

"Okay?" Bucky was more confused now than any other point of the night.

"Playing with puppies!" You're mouth dropped open in a wide smile, clearly excited about even the idea of puppies.

"I think I understand this one without even watching the video." he laughed, laying back with you to watch.

-

"You can't have pitbulls in England?" Bucky was affronted.

"I know. It's so sad." You pouted, still staring at the puppies on the screen.

-

"I have actually always thought puppies smell really good." He easily commented, agreeing with the famous actor.

"I know, Buck. I know." You shook your head playfully.

-

"Twinkies are pretty gross, he's not wrong." It was your turn to comment on his answers.

"I see your point." Bucky agreed as well.

-

"I definitely understand why this one makes you happy." Bucky smiled, kissing you on the cheek. "You know, he kind looks like Peter."

"I mean, maybe a little." You shrugged moving on to the next thing on your list.

"Still in the realm of entertainment, I've got some music for you." You knew Bucky was going to pout here.

"Doll, you know I'm just fine listening to my 40s music and calling it a day."

"Yes, but this is my list and you have agreed to be subjected to it." You queued up a few songs. "The first one, again, just makes me smile. I babysat a lot when I was younger, and there's something about this theme song that really hits different."

"Hits different?" Bucky stared at you like you had two heads.

"Yep. Just listen."

I was a girl in the village doing alright, then I became a princess overnight. Now I gotta figure out how to do it right, so much to learn and see.

You bobbed your head, mouthing the words as the theme song to Sofia the First played.

"I don't get this one." He figured honesty was the best policy.

"You say that now, but a week from now... You'll be singing it while you punch a bad guy in the face." You deadpanned, earning a laugh.

"Okay! Actual songs now." You took a deep breath, tring to prepare for his rejection. "Taylor Swift."

"Taylor Swift?" He repeated, waiting for you to say something else.

"To quote one of my favorite tik toks I've ever seen... 'If you don't like a single Taylor Swift song, I'm taking a crowbar, and I'm propping open your chest to see what's powering that thing in there, because it's not a heart.'"

"That's a bit extreme, don't you think." He eyed you cautiously.

"No. It's true. Her discography is so versatile, everyone can find at least one song they like." Your playful mood from earlier was still present, but hidden behind a slightly threatening glare.

"Which song are you going to play for me?" He was honestly nervous to hear it.

"Actually, you can pick. This playlist is songs of hers that make me smile, so pick whichever one you want." You smiled, eager to see his choice.

He scrolled through the playlist, reading each title carefully.

"Okay, You Are In Love or New Year's Day?" He asked your opinion.

"Both good choices, why those two?" You eyed him curiously.

"Well, You Are In Love because that's how I feel about you and New Years Day because you put it last in the playlist, so I know it must be one of your favorites."

You couldn't hide the way his words made you smile if you tried.

"I love you so much." You kissed him quickly. "Go with New Year's Day, I think it will resonate with you a bit more."

He smiled, tapping the screen gently to play the song.

The two of you remained quiet through the song, just enjoying the soft melody and storytelling.

"Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere." He quoted when the song ended.

"I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe, or if you strike out and your crawling home." You sang softly in response.

He cleared his throat. "I think I understand this one."

"I'm glad. I mean, it obviously doesn't have to be Taylor Swift, but everyone should have at least one song that makes them smile." You leaned into his embrace, enjoying the time spent together.

"What else have you got for me, Doll?" He held you close.

"Two more things. Here." You handed him two slightly sticky balls.

"What the hell is this?" He laughed, prying the toy from his metal hand.

"Throw it at the ceiling." He did as he was told, following your lead.

"Friday, can you turn off the lights?" You asked the AI.

"Of course, Ms. L/N."

The two of you were quickly shrouded in darkness. The balls you had thrown at the ceiling were glowing.

"How do we get them down?" Bucky whispered, his voice matching the darkness of the room.

"Just wait..." You stared at the ceiling, waiting a few seconds before the balls began to fall.

"So you just throw it and catch it?" Bucky questioned, again following your lead.

"Yep! It's weirdly relaxing after a long day." You smiled, catching and throwing the neon balls over and over again.

"You're absolutely right." He laughed, catching the blue ball before it could hit him in the face. "Especially just laying in the dark."

"Exactly! I'll go get the last thing, you can keep going." You pressed a quick kiss before heading to the kitchen. You tossed a few stuffed animal heating pads into the microwave.

While they were heating up, you grabbed yours and Bucky's water bottles to fill up with the fridge filter.

The beep sounded, indicating you could grab the animals and head back to Bucky.

"I'm back!" You called softly as you closed the door again. The room was still dark, causing you to turn on the lights. Bucky was frantically catching and throwing all four balls.

"It's a bit less relaxing when you've got to keep track of so many." He laughed as one fell and stuck to his elbow.

"Yeah, more like a game then." You smiled, happy to see him having so much fun.

"So, what's the last thing?"

You held up a bright yellow duck and an equally bright green frog.

"Stuffed animals? Doll, how old do you think I am?" He laughed lightheartedly.

"They're not just stuffed animals. They're also heating pads." You smiled, handing the duck to Bucky.

"What do you do with it?" He questioned.

"Men." You couldn't help but mumble it under your breath. "Well, after a mission, when you're feeling sore you can cuddle with one of these and it helps soothe the ache."

"Really? Nothing else you've shown me has been this practical." He chuckled again.

"That is true, but the fact that it's a stuffed frog makes me happy, even after the worst day."

"I guess you have a point." He pulled the duck close to his body, snuggling with it. "I like cuddling with you better." He pouted.

"I like cuddling with you too Bucky. Promise." You turned to face him, holding the frog to your chest with one arm.

"Thank you for sharing all this with me. I honestly don't remember the last time I smiled this much." He looked at you fondly, still smiling.

"Me either. There is one more thing that makes me really happy, though." You whispered.

"Yeah, what's that?" He watched you eagerly, waiting for the last thing.

"You." You watched his smile grow. "Even just spending ten seconds with you makes me happy after a totally shit day."

"Y/N, you make me happier than anyone I've ever met, Steve included." He joked. "I love you so much. More than I ever thought I could love someone."

"I love you too. So, so much." You rested your head on his chest, cuddling as close as the stuffed frog allowed. "Goodnight, Bucky." You whispered softly, eyes already falling closed.

He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, sighing contently.

"Goodnight my love."

Permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @madewithsebstan

[gallawitchxx]

222 ask game [in honor of 2022 ✨]

i was tagged by the queen of nosey b's @thisaintmacys-bitch , my intergalactic tattoo twin @xgoldendays & the sweetest lil smush that i'd like to crochet with @heymrspatel to usher in the new year with some cute lil facts about moi! 🖤 + new friends @smokey-mickey @lethargicmick @buffymilkovich @gallavichsbitch -- thanks friends!!

2 fictional characters to describe yourself: jess from new girl & linda from bob's burgers (but with mary jane instead of wine, alright!)

2 songs stuck in your head: "heat waves" by glass animals & "good 4 u" by olivia rodrigo 🎵

2 shows you’d rewatch forever: dawson's creek & brooklyn-99

2 drinks you order at starbucks: macy i'm so sorry i don't really go to starbucks anymore... BUT when i did--green tea frapps & oat milk lattes with toffee nut syrup! ☕️

2 movies you know by heart: 10 things i hate about you & the holiday

2 concerts you’d like to go to: because i'm a rulebreaker, i'm turning this question into broadway shows i'd like to go to--flying over sunset & the revival of company.

2 things you wanna do in 2022: write & sleep 🤟🏼(bonus 3rd answer: make more homemade gifts for people for birthdays/holidays)

2 things about yourself that might surprise people: i can't whistle & i've never seen any of the godfather movies.

2 random pictures from your camera roll:

1) yes yes why that is my very favorite sweatshirt & 2) i have an affinity for biblically accurate angels.

thanks bbs! this was a fun wrap-up! tagging @abundanceofnots @annatrow @energievie @howlinchickhowl @sunoficarus @thisdivorce @vintagelacerosette @xninetiestrendx & @y0itsbri if you want! if not, this is a new year's squeeze from me!

[phoenixyfriend]

I’ve been trying to figure out the best obi wan ship. They all have one slightly problematic thing this way or that. I’ve landed on the idea of obi wan and an equal is pretty top tier. But then I saw a picture of Coran from voltron. Coran and Obiwan might be a disaster but also both are dad shaped, both are bad ass, both are ginger, both have an accent. I think it could work. But another part of me is like Coran is just obi and jarjar mashed together. At the very least they hooked up.

Hey I just had restaurant ramen and Starbucks and actually feel like a human being so let's do something unnecessary but funny. I'm taking this as a challenge, anon.

Also IMO Coran has more in common with C3P0 than with JarJar

So obviously, both of these happen in Big Space, but the difference appears to be density. We see about the same complexity of culture and species interactions, but Voltron covers more galaxies. It's vaguely implied that Earth, at least, is the only planet with sapient life in the Milky Way.

I think the way I want to play this out, culturally, is that the Voltron area of the universe covers a much wider, but much more sparsely populated area, while the SW-verse is just the one very densely populated (in part because apparently humans just went Literally Everywhere) galaxy, where they didn't necessarily bother with developing the tech to go to other galaxies (except Rishi, which only sort of counts) because they haven't really even charted out their own yet. It was never contacted by the Voltron side of things because [checks notecards full of excuses] it's really far away from Altea and all that, and the Force shielded the galaxy from Galra interests because Reasons.

All this to say that the two franchises didn't interact until after the Voltron plotline was already over. We'll say it went mostly canon, except Allura survived because uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck that.

We'll say that this is mid-TCW, you know, before Obi-Wan is a bundle of repressed traumas and bad coping mechanisms that's lost almost everyone he's ever loved to the dark side through death or corruption. He's still (mostly) okay! Anakin's not dark (or at least, not as dark as he could be; Obi-Wan doesn't know about the Tuskens), and Ahsoka's still in good standing and most people are alive and--and okay the army is a massive ethical violation he hates with his very soul and he misses Qui-Gon and Anakin's keeping secrets and pulling away from him every day but He's Fine, Guys.

He's Fine.

In comes a ship from not Wild Space, but beyond that. Intergalactic visitors, from the direction of the deeply concerning Force bullshit they felt a few years ago. Translation tech is decent enough on both sides that they get to talking pretty quickly. The explorer is actually a member of the Blade of Marmora, who gets the absolute most basic info (approximately this many inhabited planets, approximately this many trillions of sapients in the recorded galaxy, basic structure of the government for the past however many years, most recent conflict, etc.)

BoM person is like "cool, okay so you guys are really well set-up so I'm just gonna head back and kick this up a few rungs of the coalition ladder because this is way above my paygrade, I'll make sure you get some diplomats who can maybe help out with the whole galactic civil war situation as neutral parties."

The Voltron Coalition does send a diplomat! They, uh, also send Coran, who isn't technically a diplomat, but he's high-level.

The thing is, okay, that Coran is mostly just... passably competent at things. He's a jack of all trades, master of none type. He knows a lot of things, actually, but his practical knowledge in high pressure situations tends to be up in the air. He knows how to fix the Castle Ship and various technologies, but all of that info is ten thousand years out of date. He was a competent fighter at one point but these days his back gives out. He's very knowledgeable regarding intergalactic politics but, again, that information is ten thousand years out of date. He's also a little prone to social gaffs in dicey situations (e.g. the inciting incident in the Voltron Show episode where he misses the single day with clear skies), but puts in so much goddamn effort to make things happen.

In this manner, he's like a warped mirror of what Obi-Wan is and could be.

THAT SAID

Coran is actually really good with teenagers, and specifically with training them.

And Obi-Wan... isn't.

Obi-Wan's snarky and snippy and sassy, and he's decent enough at teaching and he's great at being a jokey friend and all, but he's not necessarily very good at emotions. And unfortunately for Obi-Wan, the teenagers he spends the most time with are Really Full Of Emotions. He tries, bless him, but he's just... he doesn't respond well to emotional conversations at the best of times.

His son-figure saying "You're like a father to me" leads to a response of... radio silence. Guys. That's not the mark of a man who knows how to talk about his feelings with the people he cares about.

In swans Coran with the various other diplomatic envoys of the visiting extragalactic community. The entire situation is really leading to a lull in the war because nobody wants to risk pissing off this clearly well-funded, well-powered third party. As a result, many of the High Generals can interact with the envoys, even if they spend quite a bit of time eyeing the Separatist representatives on the other side of the room, because clearly Everyone Needs A Seat At This Table.

It's a very tense situation.

Obviously, Coran is exactly the weird uncle that goes around telling plausibly-exaggerated stories about Weblums and Yalmors and Balmeras. I'm going to say at least one former Paladin is there, maybe Hunk. Hunk's fun, and also very willing to help Coran make friends and seem Amicable instead of Distant by correcting some of the exaggerations. There's a nice, calm atmosphere in a bubble around Coran and his nonsense, and it's a weird situation but arguably just... you know. It's good. He's good at making people feel safe around him.

Cue the hissed argument between Skywalker and Kenobi. The actual cause of said argument isn't important, just the fact that, in a dark corner where they're less likely to cause a PR issue, Anakin and Obi-Wan are having it out. Anakin's maybe twenty, still a lanky ragebaby, all that fun stuff. Obi-Wan is a the endpoint of every too-young brotherdad. He's thirty-six but feels like he's sixty-three. He's tired, but trying so damn hard to still connect with Anakin and just--just--

Obi-Wan gives himself a few minutes to calm down before following Anakin. He doesn't even remember what they were arguing about, really, but he has to mend the bridge before it frays even more than it already has. If Anakin goes to Palpatine for advice again, he's going to... do something. Obi-Wan isn't sure what, but he just has to fix this.

What he finds is... well, Anakin did end up going to vent to a man of an earlier generation who acts like a slightly eccentric older relative, but it's not Palpatine for once.

The goofy, slightly abrasive but mostly charming, brightly-colored representative of the Voltron Coalition is standing in the little balcony that Anakin's made it to, listening as Obi-Wan's recently-knighted padawan vents. The man nods and makes noises at the appropriate times, and then asks questions that are... maybe a little too accurate.

"You said that you view him as a father, that he raised you after you left your mother."

"Well, yeah, but he doesn't think I'm ready, or--"

"No parent ever does."

"...my mom thought I was ready to become a Jedi."

"I can't speak for your mother," the representative says, "but the princess of my people, Allura... I half-raised that girl from the beginning, and after the destruction of Altea, we were all the other had left. I watched her lead battles and bring life to planets, trying to rebuild a universe out of the ashes of what we'd left behind... I saw the evidence with my own eyes, and I still, every time, I worried for her."

"Why?"

"I worried that she'd be hurt, that she wasn't ready, that she'd make a decision she regretted. Often, she did, and I had to help her back up, and while she's always come back, stronger than before... she is the closest thing I have ever had to a daughter, and I will always worry for her. Every parent does. Do you think, perhaps, that your own Jedi Master, that you consider a father, may worry because he looks at you like a son? That it's not that he doesn't trust you, but that he doesn't trust the world around you?"

Obi-Wan feels his heart in his throat.

The conversation continues in that vein. While Obi-Wan can't say he likes the fact that this stranger is putting words in his mouth, if only as hypotheticals, he can't deny that there's a part of him that relaxes as Anakin does, as every frustrated fresh-knight question gets a measured elderly-steward response that's angled to consider the interpretation that favors Anakin and Obi-Wan in equal measure. Every word encourages Anakin to talk things out and lay boundaries and express his frustrations to Obi-Wan in the plainest words possible.

There's a story in there, more than one. The representative tends to go off on tangents, ones that Anakin sometimes finds interesting and sometimes just resigns himself to. Mostly, though, it goes well, and Obi-Wan... well, he's always been 'a nosy little bastard,' according to quite a few people.

(In his defense, the terms they'd used about Quinlan's 'investigative personality' had been quite a bit stronger.)

He eavesdrops to the end, and Anakin doesn't notice at all. Obi-Wan's not sure if he should try to address Anakin's lack of awareness of the world around him. He's not technically Anakin's master anymore. The comment may be taken as a criticism of his worth and capability, rather than a sincere desire to see his padawan not die.

He approaches the representative instead. He intends to introduce himself. Instead, the first words that tumble out of his mouth are:

"How do you do it?"

The man--older than he looks from a distance, more wrinkles than the bright hair would suggest, but not quite elderly yet--turns and lifts a brow. "Hm?"

"I'm sorry, I'm--" Obi-Wan grimaces. "I'm Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. The young man you were just talking to is my former padawan, er, my former apprentice. I've been finding it harder and harder to speak with him over the past few years, and it seems that every interaction we have leads to an argument. How do you... manage that? I can't get him to listen to me at all."

"Ah, teenagers," the man sighs.

"He's twenty."

The representative pauses, and turns to him. "Are you the one he says raised him? The father?"

"Well... yes, I suppose that's one way to phrase it," Obi-Wan says, eyes darting to the side. He doesn't know how to explain the whole attachment situation to someone who barely knows what a Jedi is. He has even less of an idea of how to explain his own broken ability to speak of emotion, the parts of his mind that Bant clucks over and attributes to his own complicated relationship with Qui-Gon. "I had custody as his primary guardian from ages nine to nineteen and was the primary individual for handling his schooling, health, and general upbringing."

"That sounds to me like a very convoluted way of saying you were his father in all but name."

Obi-Wan grimaces. "I'm not exactly old enough to be his father, and I wasn't exactly the person he was supposed to learn from; I was the... back-up option."

"It seems he cares for you very much."

"He didn't have much of a choice," Obi-Wan says, with the kind of helpless smile and awkward shrug he's long gotten used to sharing with people when they ask. "And I assure you he'd have been happier with the man that was meant to teach him."

"I'd say that the 'would have' in this situation is much less important than what is," the representative says. Obi-Wan probably should have paid more attention to his name. "I wasn't in a position to define my relation to Allura or her father in the way that truly suited our situation, by... oh, tradition, social norms, public relations, take your pick. I was a very well-regarded official, of course, but I wasn't royalty, not even nobility, and I certainly wasn't wasn't legally or publicly part of the family. But for all the limitations there, I was still able to find ways to tell her and her family what they meant to me, and they in return. Your apprentice cares for you very much, and I'm sure you care back, but I'd hazard quite the guess that you've no idea how to tell him that."

"I... I shouldn't," Obi-Wan says. "I'm fond of him, of course, but I've no wish to smother him, and to simply say it would be undignified. I imagine he'd laugh in my face."

The representative raises one eyebrow and takes a sip of his drink.

"Master Kenobi," he says carefully. "Might I suggest you go find your young man, tell him you love him, and perhaps give him a hug?"

Obi-Wan's face flares red. It's been years since anyone short of Yoda has spoken to him like that.

"I'm not a child," he sniffs, trying to angle enough away that the blush isn't as noticeable. He's damnably prone to such things. "You're not that much older than me."

The man laughs, and Obi-Wan lifts his glass to his lips in a futile attempt to hid the embarrassment a little more. "Oh, not counting the stasis, I've well reached the age of six hundred and twenty-four, my boy!"

Obi-Wan chokes on his drink.

The man laughs a little more, but thumps him on the back until he's breathing normally again.

"Yes, most of the humans I've told have had quite the reaction!" the representative assures him. "But yes, even with the times adjusted to what any given local year is, I am significantly longer-lived than most species."

"No kidding," Obi-Wan manages. He wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand and looks over at the representative. He takes in the wrinkles and bright eyes, and says, "Well, I must say you look very well for a near-human of such an age. I can only name one person in that category that has managed better, and I haven't seen her since I was a child."

"I shall take that as the compliment it's intended to be," the representative says, twisting the edge of his mustache and beaming.

The man is... well, goofy, really, and quite a bit older than Obi-Wan had thought, but he's quite the charmer. Obi-Wan faintly compares him to a few different people in the back of his mind, but nothing quite fits. For all that the man is quite the jokester and--going by some things he'd seen from the corner of his eye in the main party--a master of physical comedy, the representative is actually more competent than he looks, and for all his visible age, not bad to look at. He is also, seemingly, an expert in dealing with teenagers and young adults, something Obi-Wan himself is... decidedly not.

He really should go speak with Anakin.

And there's a war to fight.

He doesn't really have much time, even with the recent lull.

He's in no place to be looking at the clean-shaven jaw and wondering what it would feel like under his lips, or to let himself consider whether this man would be the kind to have an hours-long discussion as to the narrative forms common in other galaxies, and whether they have anything paralleled to those in Obi-Wan's own, or if this man would show the same enthusiasm over teas that he'd shown over the hors d'oeuvres inside.

He should... really go find Anakin.

"I suppose it's time to find my padawan," he says, more to fill the air than anything. "Er... thank you, both for speaking with him, and for speaking with me."

"Not a problem at all, Master Kenobi!" the representative says, and Obi-Wan realizes that there's one last thing he may have... forgotten.

"This is terribly embarrassing, but I don't believe I caught your name?" Obi-Wan says.

"Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe, at your service!" the man says, with a sweeping bow. "As you can imagine, most simply call me Coran."

"Then I insist you call me Obi-Wan," he says, and before he can stop himself, "Might I bother you with an invitation to a shared tea time? You seem a knowledgeable fellow, and I'd appreciate the chance to... eh, pick your brain, shall we say."

It's not the smoothest come on he's ever put out there, or the most easily interpreted, but... well. Perhaps it's for the best. He's rather often found his tastes going in irresponsible directions, and it'll be much easier to brush this off without diplomatic incident if there's room for Coran to politely ignore the less platonic options.

Obi-Wan hopes he doesn't.

It's very selfish of him, but a dalliance with an older gentleman... well. He does, perhaps, make such irresponsible decisions, even now.

"I do believe I'd enjoy such a thing!" Coran enthuses, grabbing Obi-Wan's hand and shaking it in large, effusive movements.

Oh, this is a terrible idea, Obi-Wan thinks, even as he exchanges comm numbers and says goodbye.

Still.

He likes the idea of having at least a little fun, sedate or less so, while they have some time to themselves.

[leafsprompts]

the worlds end. quotes from the 2013 film.

“ let’s boo-boo ! ” “ me ? they call me the king.” “ wtf, [name]. wtf. ” “ history’s a sketchbook.” “ oh my god .. i’m so cute.” “ i think our luck has changed. ” “ look at these cunts.” “ oh crumbs ! ” “ i got lost on the ring road.” “ we had ourselves a little idea.” “ you have a very selective memory, [name].” “ it’s pointless arguing with you.” “ don’t worry, i’m not trying to have sex with you. ” “ how can you tell if you’re drunk if you’re never sober.” “ what the fuck does ‘wtf’ mean ?” “ we are the human race, and we don't like being told what to do ! ” “ he said we’re a bunch of fuck ups.” “ stop fucking starbucking us man ! ” " every year is the anniversary of a year." “ you need help, [name].” " to err is human, so... err." “ just leave us to our own devices, you intergalactic arseholes ! ” “ and we're back! just like the five musketeers ! ” “ yeah .. fuck it.” “ have you got any drugs ?” “ a) i did not and b) how did you know about that ?! ” “ a) it’s a small town, b) i’m not stupid. ” “ get back in your rocket, and fuck off back to legoland you cunts ! ” “ we wanna be free. we wanna be free to do what we wanna do ! we wanna get loaded. and we wanna have a good time. ” “ it says ‘king gay’.” “ i’m not proud of it .. i am a bit. ” “ you don’t need to do this, [name].” “ oh, fuck off you big lamp ! ” “ we need to be able to differentiate between them, them and us. ” “ yeah because we are more belligerent, more stubborn, and more idiotic than you can possibly imagine ! ” “ i don’t even know what a pronoun is.” “ jesus, i do something right for a change, and you fuckers get on my case ! ” “ basically no one else has a better idea, so fuck it.” “ i haven't had a drink for sixteen years.” " it's difficult to put into words, but if i had to choose three, i'd say 'really, really sad. ” “ oh, you are in trouble now ! It's only the fucking three musketeers ! ” " i just punched my wedding ring out of a robot's tummy." “ at this point your planet is the least civilized in the entire galaxy. ” “ this civilization was founded on fuck-ups. ” “ ever have one of those nights that starts out like any other but ends up being the best night of your life ? ” “ i think they missed a trick only having three musketeers 'cos if they'd had five then two could've died and they'd still have three left. ” “ it never got better than that night. ” “ there’s something i need to tell you right now .. unless you do want to have sex in which case i’ll tell you afterwards. ” “ must the galaxy be subjected to an entire planet of people like you ? ” “ you may think [name] is a bit of a cock, and he is a bit of a cock, but he's MY cock ! ” “ i fucking know what i fucking said. ” “ i remember sitting up there, blood on my knuckles, beer down my shirt, sick on my shoes and seeing the orange glow of a new dawn break and knowing in my heart life would never feel this good again. ” “ that's a good name for a band, [name], you should write that down. ” “ she left me, [name]. she took the kids to her mum's three weeks ago. ” “ you know what "help" was? help was a lot of people sitting in a circle talking about how fuckin' awful things had got. that is not my idea of a good time. ” “ wow, that is the first time i’ve ever heard you admit being wrong. ” “ i still think nothing that has been suggested in the last 10 minutes beats "smashy smashy egg men. ” “ i haven't seen you in twenty years ! you really think I'm going to have sex with you in the ladies toilet ? ” “ leave me alone, what do you care, anyway ?! ” “ ten people have entered this toilet in the last five minutes and not a single one has come back out again. that's going to look suspicious. “ who the fuck are you to come down here and tell us what to do ?! ” “ you know your problem, [name] ? you’re never wrong. ”

[evilhorse]

Oh dear Hera, Clark, really?

(Wonder Woman #7)

[geejaysmith]

On Minkowski’s Weird “I stayed up too late” Personality

check it out everyone, it's time for more Bullshit from Discord but this time with the groupchat

Kat [Yesterday at 8:17 PM] https://mspainttaz.tumblr.com/post/616173308845670400/beginning-of-stolen-century-musta-been-rough alternate explanation for "the cheeses" and why Maxwell won't room with Jacobi anymore

Gill [Yesterday at 8:19 PM] Jacobi: I could go out to the 24hr grocery store right now at 3 am and buy the fanciest fucking cheeses at Hy-Vee and no one could stop me. Maxwell: Please go the fuck to sleep. hm... what does everyone on the Hephaestus do when they can't sleep at 3 AM... what are their weird “i stayed up too late” personalities...

Kat [Yesterday at 8:22 PM] https://tiny-crecher.tumblr.com/post/627965201608802304/i-have-decided-it-is-of-the-utmost-importance-that not necessarily related but Eiffel found the kitkat, minkowski told him not to eat it, Hera somehow made the case for it also we know what Minkowski's 3am stayed up too late personality is, there was a whole episode for it

Gill [Yesterday at 8:22 PM] oh god that's right that's what that is Minkowski, up too late in season 4, has no Known Threats to build acid traps against, so Lovelace finds her in the mess hall building a Pepe Silvia Conspiracy Wall to Try And Deduce What The Aliens Want

agentartemis [Yesterday at 8:23 PM] Haha true And. Yeah probably

Gill [Yesterday at 8:25 PM] Minkowski, aggressively slapping half-scribbled notes connected with tape and bits of string: The aliens want us to go SURFING, it's the ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE Lovelace, sipping a protein shake and nodding along because neither of them are getting any decent sleep tonight and this is the most interesting thing to happen this week

Gill [Yesterday at 8:29 PM] Eiffel, at the "so does anyone have any ideas" meeting the next morning: you two like you had a... productive evening Lovelace: We narrowed it down. Whatever the aliens want, it's either about surfing or something involving an interspecies mating ritual that may or may not entail actual human sacrifice.

agentartemis [Yesterday at 8:33 PM] Eiffel maybe: ......well mark me down as scared and horny

Gill [Yesterday at 8:34 PM] Minkowski, after the end of Dirty Work when they're looking for Eiffel in the void of space (again): Dear god, I hope we're right about the surfing and wrong about the human sacrifice. Lovelace, later on, once Eiffel's back and they've escaped from Cutter and company and they need anything to talk about but the insane odds in front of them: So. Aliens. Eiffel: Yes. Aliens. Lovelace: You met some. Eiffel: Yeah, and the surfing theory wasn't... exactly off-base, per say... Lovelace: ...and? Eiffel: ..........And? Lovelace: Look, just get it out there and get it over with: did you fuck an alien? Eiffel: Oh, that. No. Lovelace: Right, right. You hear that Minkowski? You owe me Starbucks when we get back to Earth!

agentartemis [Yesterday at 8:42 PM] haha Minkowski: damn it but also thank god

Kat [Yesterday at 8:42 PM] Eiffel: I mean. I guess theoretically they are fuckable? But since it looked like me, no thanks.

agentartemis [Yesterday at 8:43 PM] Eiffel realizing he talked big game in the Would You Fuck Your Clone banned dinner debate but now actually faced with the possibility is realizing he is way more of a weenie about that than he thought he would be Everyone learning deep truths about themselves

Gill [Yesterday at 8:56 PM] Eiffel: You had a bet going over whether or not I'd fuck the aliens?? Minkowski: Well, not exactly... be fair, Lovelace. What were the exact terms of our wager? Lovelace: /sigh, fine. See, I jokingly tossed out an innuendo about how they were waiting for you to "get together and feel alright" and Minkowski took no time at all to turn that into the whole human-sacrifice-coitus thing, which, granted, it was 4 AM and she was on a bender fueled by nothing but caffeine and Astronaut Kibble, so really, that's my fault. But the point is, she was certain that if it was a sex thing? And if it was for the good of the crew, if not the whole of the planet Earth and all life on it? You'd do it. Minkowski: You also might just do it because they offered. Lovelace: Right, and I said, "no way, you saw him freak out when I did the whole- /handwaving to represent the Avatar state/ right? This all scares the hell out of him!" And then added, "if you're right, but he doesn't fuck the aliens, when we get back to Earth, I'm going to stroll into the nearest Starbucks and order something with enough sugar in it to send me into hyperglycemic shock, and you're gonna pay the tab for it." Minkowski: Right, but Eiffel didn't say definitively whether or not it was a sex thing, which left one of the terms unfulfilled. Lovelace: But he implied that it wasn’t a sex thing in the first place, which invalidates the whole first premise, but in the end, he still didn't fuck the aliens! So I'm still more right than you are. Minkowski: Eiffel, did or did not the Dear Listeners- Eiffel: Commander, what the hell made you so sure I'd be down for the microgravity mambo with an extraterrestrial!? Minkowski: Easy. You're a B answer.

agentartemis [Yesterday at 8:59 PM] you truly never live down a B answer, huh

Kat [Yesterday at 9:02 PM] filed under: discord chat concepts that took on a life of their own

Kinsey [Yesterday at 9:02 PM] Hahahaha

Kat [Yesterday at 9:02 PM] that one was also my fault

agentartemis [Yesterday at 9:02 PM] it makes me laugh every time so it's canon in my heart thank u

Gill [Yesterday at 9:05 PM] Eiffel: Yeah-!! Well- that was before we actually found any aliens. At the time I was assuming less "all-powerful incorporeal voice-stealing force" and more blue alien chicks from Star Wars, you know?? Or Darth Maul. God, Darth Maul was the best thing about Phantom Menace... Lovelace: Undergoing some self-reflection, are we? Eiffel: Yeah... and now that I think about it, I don't think I'm the only one. Isn't that right, Minkowski? Or should I say, Commander D-Answer? Minkowski, eyes narrowing: What're you getting at? Eiffel: I haven't heard a word of skepticism about the whole thing since Lovelace turned up! And you jumped on the "intergalactic transmissions and chill" idea pretty quickly from the sound of it... Jacobi: Holy shit can we just break into Pryce's lab and get this over with already I want out of this conversation

Kat [Yesterday at 9:06 PM] Are you insinuating you'd fuck Darth Maul

agentartemis [Yesterday at 9:07 PM] I am absolutely willing to believe Eiffel would fuck Darth Maul

Gill [Yesterday at 9:07 PM] look I needed an alien dude who wasn't just White Guy From Another Planet and that was the first thing that came to mind

Kinsey [Yesterday at 9:07 PM] Same whispers admiral ackbar

agentartemis [Yesterday at 9:07 PM] Nah Eiffel's a normie

Kinsey [Yesterday at 9:08 PM] Yea you're right

Gill [Yesterday at 9:08 PM] Ok, Phantom Menace came out in May of '99, Eiffel was born in '82, he would've been 16 and a half

Kinsey [Yesterday at 9:08 PM] NOT A FURRY EITHER or else...

agentartemis [Yesterday at 9:08 PM] He talks big about a wide variety of pop culture geek stuff but he has very normie tastes when you get down to it

Gill [Yesterday at 9:08 PM] and possibly still in the kind of Goth phase that would've been receptive to Shadow The Edgehog Evil Jedi

Kinsey [Yesterday at 9:08 PM] LOL

agentartemis [Yesterday at 9:08 PM] hahaha good take

Kat [Yesterday at 9:09 PM] it's true his pop culture lexicon is pretty normie Gabriel is this a reflection on you

Gill [Yesterday at 9:10 PM] as someone who follows the man on Twitter: probably, yeah

Kinsey [Yesterday at 9:10 PM] We have to make our own food With homestuck Eiffel

Gill [Yesterday at 9:10 PM] there are Homestucks on that station and if anyone tries to tell me otherwise I will face god and walk backwards into hell

agentartemis [Yesterday at 9:11 PM] hahaha they lurk

Gill [Yesterday at 9:11 PM] semi-related because I was speculating about Teen Eiffel's Taste In Men and this comic came up on my Tumblr dash https://werewolf-boi.tumblr.com/post/628109055176605696/reparrishcomics-facebook-twitter-instagram</p>

[pixelmariachi]

When you think about it, Starbucks sounds like an intergalactic currency. Bucks from the Stars guys, MONEY.

[certified-soft-si-content]

(Late) Christmas Asks for me and Thirteen!!!

Requested by @selfshipfeelings ! Thank youuu

Who wears the ugly Christmas sweater?

Both of us! The Doctor particularly enjoys them and doesn't see why they're called "ugly", she's precious.

Who puts up mistletoe in the house TARDIS?

Definitely me 😅😅 The Doctor would absolutely come stomping down the stairs at one point questioning where on earth all the mistletoe was coming from, rambling on as usual to me until I clear my throat and she'd realise she's standing below it... and so am I... 👀👀

Who gets pumped about decorating the Christmas tree?

Definitely both of us (because I WILL talk The Doctor into bringing a Christmas tree into the TARDIS).

Who goes to Starbucks for the holiday drinks whenever they can?

We wouldn't go to Starbucks, but I can guarantee that The Doctor would bring me to some renowned intergalactic coffee shop and show me the hot drinks there, hehe 🥰

Do either of you insist on chugging eggnog?

Ohhh she would. She really would.

Who bakes the Christmas cookies? Who bugs them about licking the spoon?

I do!!! And Thirteen doesn't even ask she just appears and steals the spoon to lick it. Chaotic baby smh honestly 🥰🥰🥰

Who is constantly praying for snow?

Me!!! And you can BET The Doctor would take me to a snowy planet because she's like that 🥰🥰🥰

Who hates the cold?

Me 😅😅 But uh... that means... I can borrow... her scarf... 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Do you two argue over decorations?

Only occasionally - normally when she brings something that's "traditional" on another planet to decorate the TARDIS with and I just stare at it like "I appreciate it's important to this planet's culture... but it's ugly"

Who is in charge of making/buying and sending the Christmas cookies?

I do the making, The Doctor does the sending (meaning we travel throughout space and time giving people Christmas cookies because The Doctor has a lot of friends in the universe she wants to give them to) 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[xhaotixaesthetica]

College! Jaebum x Kinda Mad Genius! Reader

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator 

You are in: a genetic mutation of Gaia, the dwarf planet 

look at this cute ass idiot ugh my heart

so WE’RE GONNA SPICE HIS AU UP A BIT totally not because I’m already sick of the same reader inserts, just enjoy this as a story and don’t complain pls

in this au you’re an astrophysics and computer programming major, minoring in bioengineering

in other words, you’re smart af

like you’re one of those child prodigy kids

Graduated high school early and took a bunch of AP's and CLEP tests so you’re way ahead and somewhere in between a junior and a senior but since you’re so young, you just say you’re a junior

you literally have the IQ of a genius and a bunch of Ivy league schools got in a fight over you but you were like nah nah i want something fUn so you came to SEOUL WOO HOO

you get A's in everything without even trying but that's OK because it leaves more room for you to do more SCIENCE

currently in a polyamorous relationship between you, Math, and Science

you’re really fascinated by the complexity of the universe but at the same time really into physics and math so when you found out that astrophysics existed when you were like 12, you knew that was it for you

you barely have time to eat, much less be fashionable, so you wear pretty nothing but jeans, huge hoodies, Converse, and a super hero t-shirt underneath (same but just because i’m too broke to dress nice)

with good brains comes bad everything else and you’re a hot fucking mess

clumsy, notes scattered all over the place, writing astrophysics shit in the margins of all your papers and doodling constellations on them while the professor lectures, it’s bad

you’re actually kind of extroverted and hyper but you just focus all that energy into astrophysics so everyone thinks you’re a hermit

you’re not obsessed with video games and comic books specifically, you’re just obsessed with space

like Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Ender's Game, Prey, Alien, Dead Space, and even Halo, you love em all, cause fuCkinGH spACE MAN same i’m a space gay

you aLwAyS pLaYS THE FUCKIN SPACE OVERTURE ON YOUR PHONE AND WALK IN SLOW MO INTO YOUR APARTMENT AND YOUR ROOMMATE IS LIKE I HAD TO WATCH THAT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES

always writing reminders on yourself but they only help 60% of the time because you’re a hot mess

you can play the harp and the sitar?? the most random ass instruments, you literally have your harp in your bedroom and your sitar in your lab and like they were gifts from one of your cousins and you’re really protective over them

whenever you have a mental block you sit cross-legged and start playing your harp/sitar and chanting OM or the lyrics to We Will Rock You and your roommates are like omg they really are a mad scientist

you don't mind relationships but like no one wants to be with you cause they think you’re kind of fucking insane so you try not to think about it and just blow stuff up in the chem lab

like you’re really excited, you’ll gladly talk to people and you’re really bubbly and happy and friendly but all you talk about is astrophysics??? and you’re not on like level one, no you started reading college level astrophysics books when you were 14, you’re like wayyyy past PhD level so it's like you’re speaking another language

and no one wants to hang out with you like they think it's cute how passionate you are and how fucking just warm and open you are but still no one wants to be around you cause you’re like some sort of mad scientist and they're not interested in what you’re talking about

but you keep a smile on your face and keep to your astrophysics even though you start to think something's wrong with you and start getting kinda sad

aw bby :’(

and tHEN THEY WERE ROOMMATES that's when Jaebum came along

Jaebum is majoring in Ancient Studies and minoring in Greek and he’s Captain of the Football Team

pretty much every male-attracted person likes him but ain't no one going near that boy cause he is T E R R I F Y I N G

wears all black and never says anything and then when you talk to him he just has this resting bitch face on with no expression and everyone's like I’ll I’ljust go now and he just continues reading

he’s always reading with his earbuds in, you bother him it's your funeral

and it's weird cause like he has friends a precious few and ppl know he's not cold with them so why’s he ALWAYS COLD AND APATHETIC TO EVERYONE ELSE LIKE YOU GOOD MATE???

knows he's terrifying and uses it to his advantage

has no problem glaring down people who reach for the same thing at the supermarket or try cutting in front of him at starbuck’s and they near shit themselves

does not give two shits about all the people staring at him all the time as long as they don't talk to him or interrupt his reading

stays at home unless he's at class, practice, or a game

on the Dean’s List, and a massive teacher’s pet

but still, people just like to admire him for his looks and gush about how mysterious he is and that really irks him cause no one wants to actually spend the time to get to know him he’s not even that mysterious, he’s actually a bit of a crackhead so he's like i don't need y'all i have the Gupta Dynasty to keep me company

youngjae and yugyeom rolling their eyes, like HeRe HyUnG GOES AGAIN

knows more about ancient worlds than the current world?? like sometimes mark catches him staring at technology like it's an alien concept and he's like dude you've had a cell phone since you were like 12, when was the last time you had a break from reading that, chill out for a second and come back to modern times

and jb just scoffs like i don't need your modern times and buries his head in the book again but he just wants someone who's able to talk about the present AND the past with him without ignoring one cause he thinks both are really important

anyways one day you were late to an 8am class and you were rushing and dropped some papers and Jaebum came across it and he was like what in ThE HELL IS THIS cause first of all it was almost completely illegible and then when he did manage to read it, he couldn't understand it cause it was real complex math and science shit and he looked at the name and he knew who you were cause you’re the campus genius and the campus crazy

so he hunts you down until he comes across your lab later on in the day and you’re frantically looking through your BILLIONS OF PILES of looseleaf paper and jb's just thinking about how much of a fit jinyoung would have if he saw this tomfoolery

and he handed you your stuff and you were so grateful and friendly and you reminded him of a crazier version of youngjae

he couldn't help but be curious when he saw the really complicated math and science going on on your paper and he was like what's that, how does it work, what's the history

for a full fifteen seconds, you looked at him like he was god incarnate and you like i'M gLaD yOu AsKeD

and you were talking really fast but the way your eyes lit up when you talked about astrophysics and the way the sun from the window illuminated your features jfc

jb didn't believe in love in first sight he swore he didn't

unless it was you

like even if you weren’t conventionally pretty and most people wouldn't even notice you, bummie didn’t care, it was like you were the goddamn sun or something

he stops you in the middle of explaining and he's like look you're going a bit too fast, so could you repeat what you said but just a lil bit . . . slower

and for a long moment, you were stunned jungshook because like this boi . . . this devastatingly handsome boy who blows everyone off and makes them wet their pants in fear wants to hear me rant to him about astrophysics

and he actually wants you to slow it down so he can understand instead of just pretending to listen

and like you may be a genius but JB just broke your brain for a second

but then you jump back into it like yeah sure

and jae honestly finds you fucking adorable like how excited you get about astrophysics and he actually finds himself interested in it and then he starts talking about ancient cultures and greek and you already kinda know everything he's talking about and enjoy the conversation and he's all heart eyes

gets protective over you after like 2 days???

you don't care, you’re just happy there's someone who thinks you’re interesting so you don't even notice him glaring at anyone who talks to you and always hanging around you to scare other guys off

tbh bummie doesn't really comprehend why people don't like being around you cause like??? you’re so fucking pretty and cute?? you took all his uwus reader

only takes like 10 days before JB finds out you’re really affectionate and you’re hugging and cuddling all the time but he actually???likes it

and soon he's the one begging you for cuddles and you’re like ( ^_^) ofc babe lemme just finish doing these calculations right quick and JB's like asdfghjkl did they just call me what i think they just called me

but like you guys are always hanging at your lab and since JB doesn't really talk except with you and his friends and you never talk about anything but astrophysics on the off chance she gets back to the dorm in time enough to talk at all no one knows that you guys are even hanging out

it's not long after that jae asks you out and he takes you to an amusement park and you have a FiElD dAy because sooooooo much math? and pretty colors? and cotton candy? and he's made you the happiest person ever and in that moment when he sees your face he just can't help himself like pls be my s/o and you’re like ASDFGHJKL ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME RIGHT NOW JFC OFC

and he just drops a bomb on his friends like they're all going out to dinner and he brings you and he's got his arm around your waist and he's just like guys meet my s/o and everyone's choking like S/O We ThOuGhT YoU wErE aRo oR sMtHiNG and for a minute they're so confused because no one even knew jaebum was talking to someone much less the mad scientist person when did this happen

and like they can see all throughout dinner that you’re really fucking strange but it's kind of cute and it makes bummie happy so Welcome to the Family, we have cookies

lol friends? nope, say goodbye to those, everyone is so terrified of bummie and his resting bitch face and them muscles that they refuse to come near you cause you’ve basically got Jaebum stamped on your forehead but that's ok because somehow you became really good friends with his friends and like you have this group chat that jae's not in specifically so they can share embarrassing things for you to tease him about later

but bummie highkey encourages it because if he pretends to get mad, you’ll play your harp for him and he loves that shit

jaebum will knock the living daylights out of anyone who mistreats you or makes you feel bad

like one time yall were walking back after a date and this dude grabbed your ass and was about to open his mouth to say some vulgar shit but he didn’t even get the chance before jaebum LEAPED ON HIM LIKE A FUCKING INSECT AND MOWED HIS ASS D O W N

jae had like two scratches on him meanwhile the dude on the floor probably needed a goddamn ambulance and he just took your hand and continued walking like anyways, like i was saying, no one can give me a valid reason why I shouldn’t get a cat

yall will 10/10 adopt a cat together

well it was supposed to be one but yall were weak bitches, so it turned into 3 same

at first yall rotated the cats between y’all’s apartments but then you were both like let’s just fucking move in together omfg

bam bam constantly breaks into your apartment to play with your cats

you come and cheer jae on at his football games

the first time everyone was SHOOK 

for fuck’s sake, you just learned what a touchdown was when you infiltrated a superbowl party for the food sAME, why tf were you even here

but then they saw jae beam at you and they were like omfg, they’re these people

when they win, he runs up and scoops you into his arms and spins you around, pressing a bunch of kisses all over your face and calling ou his good luck charm and you’re screaming at him for hugging you while he’s sweaty and gross even though you’re laughing and kissing him back

when he loses, you and him go to McDonalds after he showers and you just sit at a table eating while he nuzzles his head in your neck and sulks

reader, i highkey advise you to get a couple tats or a body piercing and not tell him

just have your hoodie off one day so he happens to see the tat/piercing and you’ll see his eyes darken and he’s trying to keep calm like

“i didn’t know you had tattoos/piercings”

and he’s looking down at you so intensely he’s almost glaring

“i do, wanna try and find them all?”

you did it

you activated beast mode

whenever jae sees you upset or sad, he’ll just engulf you with his whole body and you can smell his aftershave and feel his warmth while he puts on calming music and tells you greek myths in that smooth, soothing voice

and when you have your head on his chest, half asleep, he’ll just kind of stop for a second because holy fuuck, you’re so gorgeous and you’re his? how did he land you?? he’s the luckiest guy in the world?

and when you look up, wondering why he stopped talking, you see him looking at you with just this really soft, mushy look of complete adoration and before you can even say anything, he’s like i fucking love you

I WAS GONNA WRITE MORE, BUT I GOTTA END IT NOW, I’M FUCKING SOFT HNNNGGH 

Gaia, the dwarf planet 

[twotonepolaroid]

COCOLLORY HEADCANONS!!

A/N: Just some headcanons, I am really into these two as a couple!

·         Mallory had a crush on Coco first. She always thought Coco was cute, but it started to develop into a full-blown attraction as they got closer. She loved that Coco always made her laugh and Mallory appreciated Coco’s fierce loyalty to the Coven.

·         Coco also thought Mallory was super cute too. Coco loves how encouraging Mallory was when she entered the Coven as well as how brave she is.

·         Coco was Mallory’s first everything (kiss, girlfriend, sexual partner, wife). When Coco found that out, she nearly fainted.

·         The biggest concern Coco had when they got together was their age differences; Mallory is 15 years younger than she is. Coco is always worried that she’s taking advantage of the younger woman, but Mallory quells those fears.

·         Coco is so whipped for her girlfriend. Always getting her drinks from Starbucks or food from Panera Bread and buying her cute little trinkets for their room. However, Mallory has to tell her that she’s her girlfriend, not her servant.

·         Coco was respectful to a fault when she started to date Mallory. At first, she only kept her hands on Mallory’s shoulders or hips when she would kiss her. Of course, Mallory appreciated that her lover was respectful of her boundaries, but at times it drove her crazy. She had to insist that it was fine to touch somewhere else and kiss her in other places than her face.

·         Coco gets so upset when Mal told her that she treated her so badly in the apocalypse. She could never imagine doing that to someone she loves so deeply. Likewise, she hates that she would let Mr. Gallant talk down to her girlfriend.

·         Mallory loves to be picked up! Even though Coco can’t hold her for long, she loves it when Coco does it (especially when they kiss).

·         One of their favorite activities is to take naps, particularly since Mallory has a lot of nightmares and doesn’t sleep well at night. They cuddle with each other, usually with Mallory being the little spoon.

·         They both love taking baths together, especially Mallory. They started going to Lush and began a nice collection of bath bombs and facemasks. Coco can’t help but think Mallory is so cute when she plays in the bath.

·         They like to wash each other whether they take a bath or a shower. They find its good to build up their intimacy.

·         Mallory’s favorite bathbombs are Dragon’s Egg and Intergalactic. Coco’s are Butterball and Twilight. They both really like Sexbomb.

·         However, sometimes Mallory doesn’t like to share her bathbombs with rest of the girls since she gets particular about them just being for her and Coco. However, Coco has to persuade her lover that it’s good to share with her sister witches if they want one.

·         Sometimes, their two favorite activities collide with each other when they fall asleep in the bath. However, they try their best to avoid doing that since Cordelia gets upset when she finds them in the tub, since she’s worried that they could drown somehow.

·         Coco noticed that Mallory has a habit of chewing on things like pencils, styluses and straws. She gets her girlfriend a chewable stim necklace so she won’t harm her teeth. It’s forest green and shaped like an obelisk. Mallory wears it often with the rest of jewelry and she absolutely loves it.

·         Mallory likes to steal Coco’s clothes, particularly her tops and cardigans. Sometimes it annoys Coco (“You got your own clothes, Mally!”), but when she sees her girlfriend in her clothes she melts.

·         The more jealous partner is Coco. She hates it when girls the same age as Mallory try to flirt with her, even after her lover says she’s taken.

·         Though Mallory also get can be jealous. When she remembers what happened in the alternate timeline, she gets jealous that Coco dated Brock even though they were under a spell.

·         They both feel like they’re not ready for marriage, but they get promise rings a couple years into their relationship. Mallory preferred a simple ring, a solid rose gold band while Coco wanted something with one with a diamond in it.

[lunar-wandering]

Past me is a riot and I love her. (or maybe my sense of humor just hasn’t changed idk)

Highlight’s of past Kaitou Joker shenanigans I was a part of/I made (under cut cause there’s a lot):

- Pretty much every AU I’ve made

- “Kaitou Joker Bootleg: Jester the Burglar”

- “#I SWEAR IF AKAI PRETENDS TO BE A DETECTIVE THIS TIME-”

- #AkaiHasASWATTeamAfterHim2k17

- “Intergalactic beauty contest. WINNER GETS AKAI’S SHIP”

- “Joker stop pretending we all know Akai is the real Peter Pan” (in response to the manga image of Joker dressed as Peter Pan)

- “We are not gonna cook Akai (we’re better than Joker)”

- Panic! At the Sky Joker (I don’t think this was 100% me but it was a collective effort so-)

- “Manga Akai vs Anime Akai”

- “Akai’s been using a universal translator this whole time and when it breaks he just sounds like a chicken.” (the art that got made for that one had me laughing for 10 minutes after I first saw it, it was the most I’d laughed in a long time)

- “do you suppose Joker filed a copyright thing against Shadow?”

- Attempting to type the names of KJ characters with my eyes closed

- “What if Phoenix ate gems like Hosshi”

- “Hold my space coffee” / “Akai arrives in his ship ten minutes late with space starbucks”

- “Akai is Rapunzel

- “Akai’s wings go floof when he’s scared/startled”

- “Akai’s explanation corner”

there’s a lot more but I don’t really feel like finding all of them right now, so instead i’m just gonna keep going through my old posts and reblogging whatever’s good