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#intro. | my heart is way too frozen to be broken.
josendlessmonolouge · 1 month
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my oc intro except I’m super tired so they’re incoherent.
Johnny manygoats
born: 1950
job: odd jobs, mostly does rodeo gigs and works his sheep
physical description bc I’m too lazy to draw him: big ass dude like 6’5 and he wears riding boots so it’s scary. He’s got Hooded Big brown baby cow eye and a broad face. Really warm undertone skin idk how to describe it other than like you would use burnt umber paint when mixing it. Very tan bc he constantly claims that bc he’s native he won’t get burnt “I’m dark already I can’t burn” (he can) when before the war he had really long (mid back length) hair but when he enlisted he cut it to military standard. The story has important parts pre war and post so it’s anywhere between long and kinda shaggy when he first started growing it back out. He doesn’t wear any pants other than wranglers. He wears either a western shirt or a really ratty redbone T-shirt that Sara hates but he will wear it until it’s shredded. He has basically two expressions; 1) I’m going to kill myself, you or punch a wall or all of the above and 2) beautiful dimpled ear to ear smile with squinty eyes and crooked teeth, that is pretty well reserved for his niece and nephew or his animals.
likes: summer treats. Like idk he just would live off watermelon and icecream if he could. He was eating frozen grapes way before y’all were. His niece and nephew, his older brother, Michael. the rodeo. reading western novels when he doesn’t have a headache. His horse. His wife, Sara. Marty robbins, Johnny cash, and hank Williams. (so jo core) Throwing shot-put. Marlboro reds. Black coffee. His dog. Sitting on his porch at night. Working on his family’s ranch. =. horseback mounted shooting.(pre war) when he had long hair he liked doing it in the same style as sara (he doesn't have much spiritual identity in his hair but his grandfather did he just liked it long because that's how his grandfather his, also he thinks it looks nice on him. he doesn't enjoy the racist comments he gets on it though obv) western suits. (actually part of how he met his wife) dancing (boy loves line dancing sm)
dislikes: any clerical/business work. Itchy fabrics. being cold, people assuming he’s just a stupid country boy. Literally anyone he went to high school with except for his best friend. Gilah monsters, He knows they don’t often bite people but they scare him still. Coyotes. Really fast talkers. Alcohol. Lyndon Johnson. Being touched without asking first. doctors. physical therapy. dark chocolate (opposite of me) the beatles (again so not jo) running. horseback mounted shooting (post war)
personality: gentleman, always wants to be polite and helpful but also extremely blunt and doesn't realize it's rude/funny/awkward he comes from a family where men are pretty open with their feelings masculinity? bitch his dad cried over hitting a barn cat with their truck. even though he's not really someone to hide his emotions because of like any societal or familial pressures, he doesn't like to be a problem or in anyone's way, so he isn't always too open. really good with kids. he really wanted kids but was exposed to agent orange and was advised to not have children, it broke his heart more than being a pow. genuinely terribly traumatized obv but especially just heart broken by the fact he'll never be a dad. protective of his friends and family to a detrimental degree, wouldn't ever hurt anyone except for when they say something cruel about mike (brother), sara (wife), theodore (best friend). only really became reserved in his emotions after the war, where he felt kinda ashamed and struggled with survivors guilt. can be a show off but he's honestly just earnestly proud of himself. likes to learn new practical skills, he was so excited when he learned to sew.
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thisdogpaystaxes · 2 years
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The Definition by Jon Bellion: Album Review
i love this man and this album so particularly much. even the thought of this album makes my soul relapse into the same euphoric orgasm of reminiscing on mr.bellion's sweet sweet melodies.
the soft intro of munny right.. like eases u right into the album. his voice comes in so fucking crispy. the fucking high note so early, its like just wait- he finna rap! just salivating at his fucking beats and his lyrics and his voice. im literally about to throw up. THE BEAT SWITCHHHHH UGHHH LIKE THATS SO GOOD U KNW HE WAS HEAD BOPPING! this sooooo me, im gona get my munny right like u mr.bellion sir! i love how this is such a represention of his success, not just lyrically but its like, he worked for it and never gave up and hes so fucking obviously talented. mfs like this are the reason why i am so enamored with music.
carry your throne. first song i ever heard by jon! i heard it in a vine and was like :00 and thats how i found him actually. i really love this song. and frozen reese's cups. i think this is also a really cool metaphoric song, comparing an undying, raw love for someone to having a kingdom. its powerful too, the instrumental and its upbeat tempo. really cool and passionate.
pre fucking OCCUPIED. i loooove this fucking weird flow in this. if you isolated the lyrics and instrumental i'd be like ..... :/ but together its fucking GORGEOUS. so fucking complementary. its a really cool way to show that they are meant for each other. like you can usually tell when one was made to complement the other. but not this song. GOD MADE ME A FULL BLOWN GEEEEENIUS ',:^[ luvvvvv this song. blaque keys is also such a rad feature on every track w jon, his flow is consistent and smoooooth. his voice also has this really good cohesion w jon's instrumental. he's a ride or die feature. beautiful mindddd
human. wow. love u so much. this is a song he obviously wrote the lyrics first, to add to the proof for my point about pre-occupied. he's a good little vulnerable guy, and i appreciate that his music is specially crafted. his instrumental and adlibs will never downplay the emotions in his voice, just beautifully complement. "lauren call me when you hear this on," makes me like cryyyyyyy. like that was fucking raw. the bridge is the best fucking part of this song, especially the acoustic version. tell me why i still feel looooost, like yes dude fucking SING IT! i genuinely believe finding music like this and kid cudi when i was young are genuinely why i am emotionally heightened.
RUN FUCKING WILDDDDD.. I LOVE THESE LYRICS OH MY FUCKING GOD. i fucking will scream this shit forever. he's so fucking real!!! MY SOUL IS IN LIMBO LIKEEE YEAH U KNO HUH! these lyrics are really dope for providing imagery, like its really cool and along w the relatable lyrics, because while personal still ambiguous, its a fantastic story of why this person has a broken heart.
a haunted house. fucking hate the yeah at the beginning :D this song had to grow on me my first time hearing this album, i did not appreciate the contrast it brings to the album until i took the time to read the lyrics. its nice and tucked in. and its again that dope lyricism of like "this is a metaphor, you've felt this but also this way you can see it" like yeeaaahhhhhhh thats fucking dope. and normally i hate little parts of "na na na's" but this song uses it to bring to life the euphoria of healing from your past and being in love again. beauuutiful song.
JUNGLE IS MY SHIT. I LOVE HOW HE SAYS "YOU'RE TOO PRETTY" LIKE I TAKE IT PERSONAL WHEN I HEAR THAT SHIT. THIS IS A SONG I WILL NEVER SKIP. u sound so effing cuuuuuute.. like jon i need u! or someone i like that likes me to listen to this song and think ofme idk! the COUNT UHHHHHHH LOVE THE BEAT AFTER SO MUCH. very passionate about this track can u tell!?!!?
bro i adore simple & sweet. its really cute and i enjoy him saying "no yeah" bc i always do. representation! BUT IF THINGS GET COMPLICATEEEEEEED-- like he absolutely smahsed it on that contrast. its made to be this way. the beginning is soooo slow and hes like- nuh uh, lets add a whole different beat and tempo. and it WORKS. and it shows the tenderness of being so in love, but also the euphoria of it too.
an immigrant is so good. the switch up is fantastic. i love this SONG. coffee on my j dilla vinyl!!!! like u can tell he missed this chick. i really really love this ditty. been head bopping this whole time. i love the "i miss you" and "i still love you" tucked in. its always been my favorite part of the album.
ooh is one i didn't like at first. but the chorus is what tied me in, and i stayed bc jon is meticulous with his features and this is proof, like blaque keys. like he absolutely has the vision for the songs immediately. and her voice is not one i'd care for alone, but its a slight compliment to his and it rly adds to the passion.
luxury is also a fantastic song, its a really beautiful outro the the album. a grand finale. such an awesome feature too. meticulous god damnit! like that shit just adds to the magnitude. feelings practically religious.
i needed to listen to this album again, i haven't for a long time but when the songs come on separately when i shuffle, im like :0! i love you jon, pls make new music i am begging you pLEASE
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roarkfm · 2 years
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( jacob elordi .  he / him .  cis male .  25 . )  introducing … FINN ROARK ! i heard they’re a observant, proactive, disrespectful bisexual & capricorn, and their partner persuaded them to join WILL THEY OR WON’T THEY. they think their partner has joined the cast of WILL THEY OR WON’T THEY, because their relationship is a mask he uses to impress his parents. but FINN ? they think their relationship WON’T make it. ( t. age. she/her. cst. none. )
Basic Information
Full Name: finn roark Nickname(s): ro Age: 25 Date of Birth: january 6 Gender: cis male Pronouns: he/him Orientation: bisexual  Religion: a so-so christian  Occupation: paralegal \ law student 
Physical Appearance
Face Claim: jacob elordi Hair Color: brown  Eye Colour: brown Height: 6’5” Weight: 190lbs Build: athletic Tattoos: none Piercings: none Usual Expression: neutral
Personality
Label: the philophobic Positive Traits: observant, proactive, analytical, intelligent Negative Traits: disrespectful, selfish, sneaky, haughty Sleeping Habits: prefers a noisemaker of some kind, but always wakes up before the sun. Eating Habits: very much an eat out kind of guy. Exercise Habits: spends nearly every morning at the gym or running the road by his house, and he keeps a pretty regular lifting routine. Sociability: doesn’t necessarily need to be around people, and when he is, people often say he’s the stoic type. he just prefers to listen until the time is right. Drug Use: experimental.   Alcohol Use: socially.  
Favorites
Weather: winter Color: hunter green Food: chocolate cake 
History
his mother is a starlet who moved to california shortly after she graduated to star in a soap opera that everyone and their grandmother obsess over in his early years. his father graduated magna cum laude at an ivy league and decided running their city was his main priority. somewhere in the mix finn gets left behind, a problem for the nannies, the gardeners, and the cooks. he loves them all, considering them as his family every night as he falls asleep counting the notches on the posts of his bed. 
his teen years bring rebellion to their marbled doorstep, but no one is home to notice. the staff loves him too much to allow his parents to find out, even if they care enough to stop by once every six months. he back talks teachers, gets suspended, and rewards himself but shooting golf balls off the roof of his home. when parents are called in, his driver and maid show up and earn an extra grand for pretending to care. he is a well oiled machine craving attention from the two people who ignore him most. 
he graduates, goes to college, and surprisingly he gets through with high marks. he thanks his father’s dismissive comment about paying off the school to get his diploma if things go south. it is a cracked door, one he puts his foot in to stop. his intelligence holds strong, and he thinks that will be enough. he laughs about it now as he drinks whiskey over legal documents. he could paint himself red and his parents wouldn’t notice, unless, somehow, it reflects negatively on them. he never stops trying anyway.
law school comes next, and then he finds a girl. she isn’t just any girl. she’s the perfect girl, and she’s the first one he ever pushes his parents to meet. he makes this happen under the guise of love, longevity, and future plans. in truth, it is just one more neon sign directed in the wrong direction. despite himself, he grows fond of her, and his parents do, too. it gives him a sense of pride to walk around with her on his arm, and even if he isn’t ready to take the next step, he isn’t quite sure he’s ready to let her go either. 
hence, paradise reality show. he fights it at first, finding the idea of the world seeing their relationship issues up close repulsive, but over time she wins. he does want to have to hurt her, so he chooses the lesser evil. the one that puts him on national television. 
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wiypt-writes · 4 years
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Stark Spangled Forever
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I Don’t Like Bullies
Intro: Emmy encounters someone from her past, and is left shaken after they threaten her. Steve and Bucky decided to pay them a little visit…
Warnings: Some violence, a slightly dark Steve and Bucky…some bad language. SMUT (NSFW, No UNDER 18s!!!)
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark
Disclaimer:  This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Stark Spangled Forever Masterlist // Main Masterlist
** If you haven’t read SSB in it’s entirety, this contains MAJOR spoilers**
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August 2024
“Again!” Jamie giggled, splashing his way over to Steve who laughed and waited for Jamie to reach him.
“Ok ,one…two…three…” hooking his hands under Jamie’s armpits he gently launched him into the air and the 4 year old laughed hysterically before he hit the water with a splash in the deeper end of the pool before emerging, from the surface.
“You’re gonna give me a heart attack…” Katie sighed from where she was sat on the steps to the pool, submerged to her shoulders. Rori was suspended in the little inflatable baby support, her legs kicking out behind her as Katie gently pushed her away then pulled her back, the baby smiling and thrashing with her arms.
“He’s fine ain’t you son?” Steve asked as Jamie doggie paddled over to him, grinning.
“It’s like flying Momma!”
“Hmmm.” she said, as Jamie jumped on his dad’s back and he pulled at Steve’s neck. Steve, playing along threw himself backwards taking them both under the surface before he stood up, shaking his head like a dog as Jamie’s laugh hit his ears.
“You’re getting strong pal.” he said, turning his head over his shoulder so he could look at Jamie. Jamie grinned.
“How’s my little water baby doing?” Steve asked as he carried Jamie on his back to where his wife and daughter were, Jamie scrabbling out of the pool and heading to the lounger for a drink.
“She’s fine.” Katie smiled, as Steve turned his attention to Aurora, a huge grin on his face as she looked at him and beamed, waving her legs and arms as fast as she could.
“Look at you princess!” he said as Katie pulled her back towards them. He dropped down so his shoulders were under the water and Rori was at eye level. “Think she’s enjoying it.”
Katie smiled as the two of them watched the baby for a moment before Katie looked up at Jamie who was sat now with Lucky between his legs, gently talking to the dog. “Do you know what time it is?”
Steve glanced at his watch “Almost 4.”
“I should really think about starting dinner.”
“Leave it….” he said, turning to her, pressing his lips to hers. “Come on, when was the last time we got an afternoon like this?”
She smiled, “Feels like a while that’s for sure…”
“So…we can chuck a frozen pizza in for Jamie and we can get a take-out…” he said, moving so he was behind her, his arms curling around her waist, pulling her back so she was perched on his bent legs, his chin resting on her shoulder “Eat by the pool…” he placed a kiss to the crook of her neck, “And then later when he’s in bed and she’s settled we can hit the hot-tub…” another kiss “maybe a bottle of wine…”
“You feeling amorous Soldier?” Katie grinned, tipping her head round to face him.
“Always when you’re concerned…” he winked, his lips again meeting hers, only this time the kiss slightly deeper until they broke apart after a loud splash, followed by a smaller splash drew their attention.
Jamie had launched himself back into the pool, followed by Lucky who had clearly decided he too needed to get in the action.
They stayed in the water for another 15 minutes or so until Rori started to get a bit grouchy, and Katie took her out, wrapping them both in a towel and sitting in the quiet for a while to feed her. Steve and Jamie followed her out a little while later, both drying themselves off before Steve took Jamie inside to get him a juice box and throw his pizza in the oven. Jamie then insisted he wouldn’t make it until his pizza was done as he as starving, so Steve got him quick snack of breadsticks and hummus and sent him back out onto the garden where he made his way over to the side of the pool, flopping down on the lounger next to his Momma.
Deciding that a snack was actually a pretty good idea really, Steve grabbed a few things from the fridge, namely olives, more breadsticks, dips, cheeses and was about to carry it down to the pool area when the security system sounded to tell him that Emmy had come home.
“It’s ok…you’re ok…” his ears picked up Brooke’s voice from the hall and instantly he frowned as he heard Emmy’s deep breathing too. He strode into the hallway just in time to see Emmy slide down to the floor, her back pressed to the door as she tugged her knees to her chest.
“Emmy?” Steve asked, quickly dropping down in front of her. “Hey…look at me…”
She looked up and he gently reached out, his hand smoothing back her hair “Use your numbers ok, like we used too, remember?”
She gripped his hand tight and her eyes screwed shut as she desperately tried to regulate her breathing and Steve, not once taking his eyes off his daughter issued Brooke with an instruction to go and get Katie. Less than 2 minutes later she was also on her knees next to Emmy having left Brooke to watch the younger two and it was a minute or so later before the 16 year old began to breathe normally, her eyes slowly blinking as they returned to their usual size instead of being blown wide open.
“You ok?” Katie asked gently, looking at Emmy. She nodded.
“Sorry…”
“Don’t…” Steve looked at her as she fell into his arms, pressing her face against his bare chest as he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head “Don’t every apologise for that, we told you.” The amount of panic attacks their daughter had had when she first came to live with them meant they’d been fairly used to them, but she hadn’t had one in a VERY long time, not since the events of the Final battle with Thanos had hit her and she’d broken down about losing her Uncle Tony, Auntie Nat and then how close she had to losing her parents. Emmy was a strong, independent teenager who for the most part simply got on with things, letting a lot of stuff that would bother other people wash right over her head. But clearly something had triggered her today.
“You need a drink sweetheart?” Katie asked and Emmy nodded.
“Ok. Think you can stand?” Steve asked.
“You’re not carrying me.” Emmy looked at Steve and he raised an eyebrow.
“You used to love me doing that.” Steve quipped and she rolled her eyes.
“Yeah at the Parties at the Kids home.” she grumbled “I’m not 7 anymore.”
“Never too old for your Pa to carry you.” Steve teased, standing up and offering him her hand. She took it and he pulled her to her feet, and despite her protestations at her age she kept her fingers tightly wound around his as they headed to the kitchen.
“Emmy!” Jamie shot off his seat and threw himself at his older sister. She smiled and bent to give him a hug.
“Hey Jay…” she smiled, “You been swimming?”
“Daddy was throwing me.” he grinned. “I bet he could do it for you too.”
“Sure he could” Emmy smiled as she shakily took a seat, glancing at Rori who was in Brooke’s arms, her little hands tangling in the girl’s long, red hair.
“Jamie, why don’t you go in the den for a moment, watch some TV.” Katie looked at him, adjusting the crochet slip she had thrown on over her bathing suit “Momma and Daddy need to talk to Emmy for a second.”
“But I don’t wanna.” he frowned.
“Hey, why don’t you show me your legos?” Brooke said quickly. Steve could see the cogs in his son’s head whirring as he considered this for a second before he nodded.
“Ok.”
“Thanks Brooke.” Katie said to her as she handed Rori back over.
“No problem Mrs R.” she said, allowing Jamie to tug her by the hand out of the room.
Once they were gone Katie adjusted Rori in her arms so that her head was tucked against her shoulder, mouth resting on her collar bone and Steve took a seat next to Emmy after pouring her a glass of water.
“Wanna tell us what happened Em?” he asked gently.
“We’d just been in The Hub.” she said, “You know the Computer shop because Brooke needed a new charger for her tablet.” Emmy swallowed and took a sip of her drink “We were walking down towards the bus stop so we could head home and we’d just passed that bar on the corner, you know the Irish Pub place?”
“Mc Mahons, yeah we know it…” Steve nodded
“And then he came out.”
“Who?” Katie asked, her eyes not leaving her daughter.
“Him…my old foster father. The one that used to hit me.”
Steve took a deep breath and breathed out through his nose “Did he hurt you?”
“No, not really…he erm, he didn’t recognise me at first and I kept walking but Brook had stopped and when she shouted my name he realised it was me and he grabbed my arm and…”
“Ok…ok…” Katie said gently, as Steve gently laid a hand on their daughter’s shoulder.
“Did he do anything else?” he asked. Emmy shook her head.
“He just started shouting stuff, saying he knew that I’d landed on my feet and that I was nothing but a worthless brat and that he would come and pay you a visit one day, tell you all about what I used to do and how bad I was and then you’d throw me out and…”
“Em, he’s an ass hole.” Katie said gently “You were never a bad kid. You’d been treated appallingly, what that man did do you…” she shook her head “It was cruel and abusive and…”
Steve’s hand fell to Katie’s knee under the table as she looked away, blinking back the tears.
“Emmy, me and your mom love you.” Steve looked at her, “We love all you kids more than anything, and nothing this dick says or does will change the way we feel. You know that right?” “I know, I just didn’t like seeing him that’s all.” she said gently “I just had all these flashbacks to the basement he locked me in and the belt…”
She swallowed and looked down. Steve looked at Katie, the jaw in his nerve twitching with anger as he took a deep breath and ran his hand up Emmy’s back.
“Well I hope he makes good on his promise and does pay us a visit.” he said his eyes flashing “I’d be very happy to exchange a few words with him, maybe a few fists too.”
Emmy smiled softly as Katie shook her head.
“Pretty sure your Uncle Buck would have a something to say too. And between you and me, his Murder Strut is frightening.” “Murder Strut?” Emmy looked up, the corners of her mouth twitching. Katie nodded.
“Trust me, I saw it a few times. Scared the shit out of me.”
“Woah, you saying I’m not scary?” Steve scoffed, folding his arms.
“Bucky’s a Rottweiler, you’re more of an angry retriever.” Katie shrugged and at that point Emmy laughed, which was exactly what her parents had been hoping to achieve. Steve flashed a wink at his wife before he turned back to Emmy.
“You know he won’t ever hurt you again, not now you’re with us.”
“I know. I love you guys.” she smiled and Steve dropped a kiss to her cheek. She looked up, wiped her eyes and then glanced at her mom. “Can Brooke stay tonight?”
“Course she can, I’ll call Jen”
“It’s ok she can message…”
“I’ll call her.” Katie said firmly, “Brooke was there today so Jen has a right to know what happened. Don’t worry, she won’t be mad at you.” “Kay…” Emmy nodded “What’s for dinner?”
“Your dad threw a pizza in for Jamie, we’re gonna get take out and hang by the pool.” Katie said.
“Anything you fancy?” Steve asked.
“Can we try the Greek place?”
“Sure.” Steve nodded “Hey, do they do Shwarma?”
“Gyros.” Katie said, “Same thing almost.”
“I’m in.” Steve said.
“I’m gonna go watch TV for a bit, that ok?”
“Course.” Katie smiled.
Emmy stood up and moved behind her dad, hugging him from behind, her arms round his shoulders. He tilted his head so she could kiss his cheek before she moved to do the same to her mom, giving Rori a peck.
“Love you both.” she smiled at them, before she left the room.
As soon as she was gone Steve stood up, his calm demeanour ebbing away as Katie looked up at him, shaking her head.
“I wanna kill him Steve.”
“You and me both doll.” he paced.
“Think we should call the police?” Katie asked, gently rocking Rori to and fro as she had started to grumble.
Steve contemplated what she had said before he paused, folded his arms and looked at the door, then back to Katie “I got a better idea.”
“What?”
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
“You know I do”
“Then leave it with me.” he said simply
“Steve…” she stated, instantly understanding what he was implying “You can’t.” “Why not?”
“Well, for starters we have no idea where he lives.”
Steve snorted “Sweetheart, you’re forgetting who we know.”
“Oh, no…you can’t drag Sam into this.” Katie shook her head “Ross is being an asshole with him as it is without you giving him ammo by getting Sammy into trouble.”
“I’m not” Steve smiled, raising his eyebrow “I’m gonna drag Bucky into it instead.“
****** Bucky sat at the bar, baseball cap tugged down over his eyes. He’d been reliably informed his target drank in this run-down back dive every Wednesday and Thursday evening. He liked the happy hour, apparently.
Aint gonna be happy for much longer, buddy.
Despite the fact that he was trying to live a normal life now (ok, maybe helping Sam out every now and then) when Steve had asked him to help him with this particular mission he’d immediately said yes. Not simply because Steve was his best friend, but because it involved Emmy. As far as Buck was concerned, the Rogers kids might as well be his own in that respect because he’d give his life to protect any of them.
And then there was Brooke. Bucky had been dating Brooke’s mom, Jennifer now for a few weeks after they’d hit it off at Steve’s birthday party. It was great, slow moving but that’s what he wanted, and when he’d heard that her daughter had been caught up in all this business as well, it was another reason for him to slip back into his old assassin mode.
Only this time his instructions were clear. Apprehend alive.
At first when Steve had told him this he had been about to tease him, wind him up, surely after all these years the Captain had finally found that trigger to flip him over to the dark side, but then he had seen something stir in his best pal’s eyes. He’d told him then about an incident in a HYDRA base, where he had killed on of Katie’s captors and Bucky knew, it was there alright, and he had a feeling he was going to see it whenever they caught this punk.
He ordered another drink, his eyes re-reading the paper he’d brought with him for the 15th time. To most people stake-out work like this would get them bored, antsy, but not Bucky. He’d waited much longer before and he knew that if you got like that you lost concentration which made things 100 times harder in the long run. His eyes scanned back to the entrance to the bar, flicking back round the pub, and he observed the people to make sure he hadn’t missed the man sneaking in, even though he knew that was basically impossible. Satisfied he hadn’t, he took the drink off the bar tender, paid him (another rule of spy work- never set up tabs, you run without paying and your face is recognised all over the damned scene). He took a sip of his beer before he heard the door open and he looked round, fighting the smirk on his face as finally his target walked in and straight to the bar to Bucky’s right.
The man ordered his drink, a straight black label whiskey and when it was served he paid with a bunch of crumpled ones and picked the glass up, heading to a table.
Bucky had to hand it to the guy, in the half an hour he spent in the bar he knocked back a good 5 helpings of scotch before he stood up, and rather unsteadily made his way to the door. Giving him enough time to get out of the door, Bucky then rose and followed him. He tailed him into another bar, then another, before after the 3rd the man headed home.
Bucky watched him unlock the door to the rundown apartment block, before he staggered inside. Quick as a flash Bucky shot over the road, sticking his foot in the door to stop it from shutting. Slipping inside he pressed himself up against the dark wall, just to the side of the post boxes, as the man turned around. After a second or so Bucky heard him heading up the stairs. He walked to the bottom of the steps, and keeping his footsteps light he headed after him and emerged onto the second landing, peering round the wall to watch as the man stopped outside a door, pulling out his keys.
Bucky waited until the door was closed before he headed back down to the ground floor, pulling out his phone.
“I got him.”
***** Steve climbed out of his car, looking up at the ramshackle building before he crossed the road. Bucky was waiting for him and opened the door to the apartment block from the inside.
“What you come dressed as?” Bucky arched an eyebrow, scanning Steve up and down. He was dressed in a pair of black jeans, a dark navy t-shirt and black boots, with a cap pulled down over his face.
“You.” Steve said simply, and Bucky snorted.
“He’s on the Second floor.” he said simply “Number 202. Still think you should just let me shoot him.”
“No.” Steve said “We’re not killing him…”
Bucky rolled his eyes “Why?”
“Because I want him as scared as he made Emmy.” Steve said simply. “He can spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder.”
Bucky shrugged, “Your call…”
Steve headed to the stairs and started to climb them, stopping as he heard his foot crunch on something.
“Nice place…” he mumbled as he looked down to see he had stood on a cockroach.
“Don’t be a snob Stevie…”  Bucky looked at him, and Steve rolled his eyes.
“Even my place in the 40s wasn’t this grim.” he turned to look at his friend before he continued up the flight of steps.
“It wasn’t the ritz either.” Bucky shrugged as they emerged onto the landing. They stopped outside the door and Steve took a breath before he looked at Bucky.
“Looks like we need a key….” he quipped. Bucky gave a smirk, before he drew his left hand back and punched straight through the door, grabbing the handle and turning it to undo the lock from the inside. He threw it open and strode inside, Steve casting a look around before he followed and pulled the door shut behind them. Hearing the noise the man flew out of the kitchen, a knife in his hand, stopping dead when he saw Bucky.
“Who the fuck are you?” he demanded.
Bucky simply raised his eyebrows.
“Look, if Mario sent you…I told him, he’ll get his money…”
“I don’t know any Mario…” Bucky shook his head, “Well, not unless you count the one that rides on the karts in that game my nephew enjoys kicking my ass at. Now put the knife down Jack before someone gets hurt.”
“How do you know my name?” Jack asked, his eyes not once leaving Bucky, missing the Captain who was stood in the darkness of the room behind him. “What the fuck do you want?”
“I don’t want anything…” Bucky said, shrugging, “But he does…”
At that point Steve stepped forwards, drawing up besides his friend, getting a good look at the man in front of him. He was quite tall, but lanky, with a pointed noise and sharp features, reminding Steve of an overgrown rat.  Which fitted him perfectly, out and out vermin. Jack frowned and squinted slightly as he looked straight at Steve, suddenly paling even further. Whilst Steve looked a lot different from the once blue-eyed All American hero the world recognised him to be, there was no mistaking who he was, especially to the man in question. Steve stood stock still, his hands falling to the buckle which was round the waist of his black jeans, his chest flexing under his navy t-shirt as he glared at the man.
“Woah…look…I don’t want any trouble…” Jack began to press.
“You should have thought about that before you touched and threatened my daughter.” Steve’s voice was icy.
Jack’s hand clenched around the knife and Bucky rolled his eyes, before he whipped off the glove on his left hand, holding it up, the metal glinting in the dim light of the lamp that stood in the corner of the grubby apartment.
“This can do far more damage than that blade can.” he said simply, looking at his hand before he turned to Jack “Go ahead, I’ll even give you one free swing. But it better be fast.”
Steve expected the man to drop the knife, but instead he lunged forwards. Bucky sighed, and almost lazily dodged to the right before he knocked the knife out of the man’s hand with a single swipe and gripped him around the neck with his hand, slamming him hard into the wall.
“That was really fucking stupid.” he said, tightening his fingers around the man’s windpipe, lifting him off the floor. The man grabbed at Bucky’s arm, desperately trying to prise his fingers from around his neck.
“Buck…” Steve said, and Bucky let go, Jack slumping to the floor. Steve reached down, grabbed his shirt and hauled him to his feet slamming him against the wall.
“Now…” Steve said, his hands tightening. “I don’t like bullies. And that’s what you are. I know exactly what you did to Emmy, all the times you beat her, hurt her, whipped her with a belt until her back split and bled. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t rip you in half right now.”
“Captain America…nah…you wouldn’t…” Jack stuttered, shaking his head “You’re a good guy…”
“Well, here’s the thing.” Bucky said, picking up the knife that Jack had dropped, leaning on the wall, lazily twirling the blade in his hand. “He’s not Captain America anymore. Just some guy whose daughter you threatened.”
“Which makes me a hundred times more dangerous…” Steve said.
“And I, well, I just don’t give a shit.” Bucky shrugged “Killed a lot of people one way or another…what’s one more piece of shit like you gonna mean?”
Jack looked at Steve, shaking his head “No, you wouldn’t…”
“I snapped the neck of the man who raped my wife.” Steve said, his gaze not once leaving the man’s in front of him “Trust me, you have no idea what I would do to keep my family safe.”
He paused for a second, letting it sink in as Jack swallowed.
“But I’m a fair man.” Steve said, letting go of Jack who dropped a few inches before he pulled himself back up full height. Steve smoothed down the man’s dirty t-shirt before he smiled at him. “So I’m gonna give you a chance to play ball. You got 48 hours to leave New York.” “By that we mean the state.” Bucky clarified.
“And if I ever get a sniff that you’re back in town…” Steve continued.
“And trust us, we’ll know…” Bucky mused, still looking at the knife before he grinned at Jack “We got friends in high places, eyes and ears everywhere…” “….then you’ll lose more than your teeth.” Steve concluded, matter of factly.
“My teeth? What do-“
CRACK.
Steve cut him off with a sharp jab straight into his mouth and Jack dropped to the floor howling in pain as the blood poured from between his fingers which clamped over the lower part of his face.
“Got the message?” Steve asked, standing over him as Jack rolled around, screaming. He mumbled something, his head nodding furiously.
“Can I shoot him now?” Bucky asked.
“No.” Steve shook his head.
“Just once in the knee?”
“No.” Steve snorted “Come on…let’s get out of here, the amount of noise he’s making someone’s bound to hear. He turned to go, and then heard another loud scream. Spinning around he saw that Jack’s hand was now pinned to the floor by the knife Bucky had been holding.
“What?” Bucky asked, shrugging as Steve shot him a look “You said I couldn’t shoot him, didn’t say anything about stabbing him.”
***** The two friends sat at a bar, not far from Steve’s house, each with a beer in hand.
“So, run that by me again…” Bucky said.
“I told Katie I was meeting you for a drink.” Steve shrugged, nodding at the bottle “Technically now I’m not lying.”
“You’re a punk.” Bucky snorted.
“She’ll know full well where I’ve been.” Steve shrugged “She ain’t stupid…”
“Good luck to you pal.” Bucky said, taking a drink “She’s scary when she’s angry.”
Steve snorted “Nah, she won’t be mad…she knew full well I was planning on giving him a warning so…”
“Then why not just tell her?” “Because she’d worry.” Steve said simply.
“Think he’ll heed it?” Bucky asked after a little pause and Steve pondered the question for a moment before he nodded.
“Like I said he’s a bully.” he took a swig of his beer before he looked at Bucky “You know as well as I do that the minute someone bigger stands up to them they back off.”
“Gotta hand it to you pal…” Bucky said, sitting back “You come a long way since you were defending yourself with a trash can lid behind the movie theatre down town…”
“So everyone says.” Steve shrugged “Still don’t feel any different.”
“Remember when Howard’s flying car was the strangest thing we had ever seen?” Bucky sighed “I almost miss those days.” “Would you go back?” Steve asked, “Given the chance?”
Bucky took a deep breath and wrinkled his nose “Nah, I’m too different…too much has happened you know. I don’t think I’d settle. Plus this would probably attract a little more attention than it does now.” he said, flexing his left hand.
Steve smiled “I know what you mean. If you’d asked me when I first came round…I’d have jumped at the chance but after Katie…” he took another drink before he let out a soft huff. “I crossed oceans of time to find her.”
Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Dracula…romantic.” he said and Steve let out a laugh.
“Speaking of romantic…” Steve looked at his friend “How’s it going with Jen?”
“Ok.”
“Just ok?”
“I’m taking it slow.” Bucky shrugged “We’ve been on a few dates and…yeah I like her Steve and she likes me so…”
“Well if you ever want any advice on modern day dating…”
“The day I ask you for dating advice is the day I quit.” Bucky snorted
“I did ok.” Steve grinned “Well, more than ok actually. I lucked out.”
“No, you got what you deserved.” Bucky shook his head “A woman that loves you for who you are, not what you are.” Steve felt his cheeks flush a little as he shrugged “Not quite sure what I did to deserve her but…”
“You’re a good man.” Bucky said “You always were and always have been. A pain in my ass like, but…” he drained his beer and shook his head “Anyway, enough sentimental crap. You want another?”
Steve contemplated that before he shrugged “Sure, why not?”
One more turned into 5 more, and it was a good 2 hours later and approaching midnight when the men left. It wasn’t the first time they’d been out for drinks since being re-united, but to Steve it was the first time that it felt like the old days. They’d talked about so many memories, he’d laughed until he had cried as they both recalled some of their antics, and he felt completely at peace when he walked into the hallway of his house.
Removing his cap he ran a hand through his hair before he hung it on the coat rack on the wall. Then he dropped his keys into that infernal golden pineapple bowl that Katie had bought him all those years ago and headed into the lounge where Katie was sat in her pyjamas, Rori clutched to her breast as she fed.
“Hey…” he smiled, crossing the floor and dropping a kiss to her lips before he turned his attention to his daughter, his finger gently running along her hardworking cheek.
“You have a good time?” she asked, giving a little yawn.
“Yeah.” Steve nodded. “It was nice. When did she wake up?”
“About half an hour ago.” Katie shrugged “With a bit of luck she’ll go down again soon and sleep for a couple of hours.”
“I’ll do the next feed.” Steve said “You can get some rest.”
“Ok.” Katie agreed, yawning again and as she did so Rori mimicked her, her eyes which were now carrying a slight greenish hue fluttering. Steve gestured for Katie to hand her over, and she did so as Steve held her up over her shoulder, hands that had hours ago been so violent were now ever so gentle, rubbing his daughter’s back to wind her as Katie adjusted her top.  They sat there in silence for a little while before Katie finally spoke.
“So how badly did you hurt him?”
“What?”
“Jack?” She turned her head to Steve who looked at her “I know full well what you were up to.”
“I knew you would.” Steve huffed a laugh “And not too badly. Knocked a few of his teeth out…oh, and Bucky nailed his hand to the floor with a knife. He won’t be bothering Emmy again, or any of us for that matter.”
Katie looked at him for a moment before Rori gave a light burp and Steve gently turned his face, pressing his lips to the baby’s head.
“Here…” Katie said, and Steve handed her over “I’ll go put her down.”
She gathered the baby in her arms before she dropped a kiss to Steve’s mouth “Don’t be too long…”
He arched an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Well, you know what you getting all dark and protective does to me…” she grinned, looking down at Rori “That’s what made her in the first place.”
Steve’s eyes darkened at the memory of that particular day in the HYDRA base which he was recalling for the second time in the space of a few hours, albeit for very different reasons. “How could I forget?”
Standing up she walked to the door, Steve watching her go, before she shot him a coy look over her shoulder his pants became a lot tighter than they should have been. He gave a soft groan, before his head fell back against the cushion of the sofa. After a moment or two he stood up and turned off the lights, before heading up the stairs after his wife.
He stood in the doorway, watching as she placed Rori in the crib at the end of the bed before he strode over to her, his hands falling to her waist as he spun her round, his lips crashing to hers. She took the kiss eagerly, her tongue sliding against his as he backed her towards the bed, her hands fumbling with his belt as they went. Neither were wasting any time, and after a quick wrestle with their clothing they both collapsed onto the bed, Steve caging his wife underneath him with his arms and legs.
Their eyes locked for a second before he pressed his lips to hers and kissed her again, slow and hard, both his hands cupping her face, thumbs gently skating her cheeks as she let out a soft groan and he felt his cock twitch. His lips not once leaving hers his right hand gently slid down to her thigh, and his fingers gently gave her hip a squeeze causing her to sigh into his mouth again. Using his hand he hooked her leg round his waist, and ground his erection against her spot causing her to moan as she pulled away from the kiss, her head laying further back against the pillow, her eyes fluttering shut as his mouth dropped, swirling softly around her pebbled nipples, carefully lavishing affection on them in turn, and in moments she was quivering to his touch, her breathing ragged.
“Look at me…” he said, voice low, almost a growl and her eyes sprang open obediently, those sparkling emeralds glinting in the dim light as he held her gaze as he pushed into her, her breath catching in her throat. He stilled for a moment, enjoying her warmth as it gripped him before he moved his hips back, thrusting into her again. His pace was hard, deep and he continually dragged in and out of her, dropping his head to kiss and lick and suck all along her collar bone, knowing full well he would leave marks there for the morning but neither of them cared as their moans grew louder as his thrusts grew more desperate.
"Fuck.” he groaned, both hands now on her hips as he continued his movements and Katie’s hands moved to brace herself against the headboard, her body moving with every slam he made into her. One hand moved to the back of her head and he used it to make her look up, her eyes locking onto his as he felt her body start to quiver.
“I love you…” he said, his pace not slowing in the slightest.
“Love you too Soldier…” her words stuttered as he thrust up hard, stilling slightly, grinding up against her, as she writhed underneath him, a desperate, filthy noise escaping her mouth as her back arched and her hands flew to his back, nails scratching at his skin. God he loved the feel of her doing that, the stinging pain mixed with the pleasure was a heady mix and he took in a sharp breath, dropping his mouth to capture hers as she moaned again, this moan broken as she bucked upwards and clutched at him desperately.
“Stevie…” she moaned and her walls tightened on him as she came, her entire body trembling underneath him and he pulled back so he could watch her, lips swollen from his desperate kisses, cheeks flushed, eyelids fluttering against her cheeks. He continued his pace, her eyes opening moments late to lock onto his as the spring that had been coiled so tightly suddenly released and he spilled himself insider her with a low, rough grunt of her name and he tipped forwards, his hips slowing to a stop as he buried his face in her neck.
The pair of them lay still, the only sounds in the bedroom now were the deep, ragged drawings of breath. Katie gently ran her hands through his hair, as she always did, Steve’s body on top of hers rising and falling through the movements of her deep breathing.  Eventually he raised his head gently and pressed their foreheads together, his nose sliding up and down hers. She smiled at him, and pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss before he rolled over onto his back, and she snuggled into him, her head on his chest. He reached for her left hand which was laying flat against his abs and raised it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, just underneath where her wedding band sat.
“I love you, I love you all so much.” he said gently. She raised her head to look at him, smiling as she kissed him softly.
“I know, I love you. We all do.”
She was asleep before him, Steve lay awake for a little while longer contemplating everything that had gone down that evening. He’d crossed that line again, the darkness that had awoken all those years ago had bubbled inside of him and he wasn’t going to lie, it had been satisfying, and despite what he had said to Bucky, he would have happily killed the snivelling bastard with his bare hands and not even blinked twice about doing so. But something had stopped him short this time, and he knew now what it was.
His kids.
Back then they hadn’t been in the picture, and he wanted to be able to look them in the eye and tell them right from wrong without feeling like a hypocrite. Steve Rogers was a good man, a loyal husband, doting father, and he wanted to be worthy of the love that surrounded him on a daily basis.
He looked down at his sleeping wife before he shifted slightly, dropping a kiss to her head before he closed his eyes and fell into a trouble free sleep.
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folklorianwitch · 3 years
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Folklore Analysis
The 1 really was an great album opener for Folklore.
Like the first line ( I am doing good I am on some new shit) gives us information on Taylor and Folklore. How Folklore is new and she is happy.
It also starts the process of transition from pop to indie/folk. The song is something in between. And it prepares the listener for the rest of the album.
It is such a nostalgic song. There is not a story going on the song but more of a feeling. It is more like an intro for the whole album. The 1 sets the tone.
Folklore is full of doomed relationship that just didn't work out: Exile, my tears ricochet, august, illicit affairs, this is me trying.
Ambiguous endings: Cardigan, Betty, Peace
Stories from the past: TLGAD, Seven
Invisible String is the complete opposite of The 1. The song implies soulmates that are tied to each other. While the 1 was a lost shot. It is meaningful Invisible strings is about Taylor's present relationship.
Yes peace is also about that. But peace is very connected to the Cornelia Street on Lover ( The Archer too) . Taylor fears this relationship will end like many other. She says she will never love again if this happens in Cornelia Street. On archer she asks (Who could stay? You could stay). And in Peace she asks ( Would it be enough If I could never give you peace?). The songs are mingled with drops of optimism. Maybe things will turn out alright.
Or maybe this is another The 1 situation.
Peace is on the line between The 1 and Invisible String. Taylor doesn't quite know which way it will go herself. And I think she desperately wants it to be the later.
On the topic of mirrorball, while the circus was called of and disco was burned down she is still on that tightrope.
The mirrorball might not be talking about a romantic relationship but these lines depict a situation of where everyone has moved on but she is still in the same mental place. This is a very familiar feeling on the album.
The 1 also has a hero that is stuck in the past and is trying to resist the temptation to ask what if.
It has way more straight forward lyrics than mirrorball and rest of the album while trying articulate this thought. Because once again The 1 is the intro and other songs solidify this feeling with their own stories and fancy allegories.
I won't comment on mad woman and epiphany because they are more about real word events than a reaching narrative. Feminism and Covid-19 respectively. But I have to applaude Taylor for making these songs fit the aesthetic of the album so well.
What about Hoax?
To my interpretation hoax is a deeply personal song for Taylor but also for all the characters she created. If the 1 sets the tone Hoax patches everything and gives a one final picture.
Taylor talked about how hoax didn't have one particular meaning on Long Ponds Studio sessions. And how it was a new experience for her.
Hoax has the voices of many people in the narrative.
"This has broken me down" is lyrics we all can feel in this hard times.
"You faithless love is the only hoax i believe in" is tremendously true for many of her song's heroes.
Hoax is about doomed relationships (My winless fight) , being stuck in the past (this has frozen my ground), hopelessness (Stood on the cliffside screaming, "Give me a reason") and Taylor's own personal troubles (You knew it still hurts underneath my scars
From when they pulled me apart).
"And if I’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes, too" the protagonist of My Tears Ricochet says.
And one of the voices in the hoax says:
"My barren land
I am ash from your fire"
This signals a new beginning and hope for seemingly such a hopeless song.
The bridge looks back into the past and remembers all the pain and blood that has passed between the years.
"My only one
My kingdom come undone"
are interesting word choices. My only one is the anti thesis of The 1. And from what I read my kingdom come undone is connected to a bible line which is suppose to symbolize eternity.
"Don't want no other shade of blue but you
No other sadness in the world would do"
Taylor explained this line best on Long ponds with the following sentences:
{I think the part that sounds like love to me is, “Don’t want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do.” It sounds like–to me, that sounds like what love really is. Like, “Who would you be sad with? And who would you deal with when they were sad?” And, like, “Gray skies, every day, for months. Would you still stay?}
For all its hopeless theme Hoax has a optimistic message at its heart. About persistentence, patience and love that is built.
Taylor explains it more simply in Paper rings with: I am with you even if it makes me blue.
But there is still that fear of 'would you still stay' tied around it.
Hoax takes us through a forest filled with pain, hopelessness and mysterious creatures in the dark but there might just be light behind the branches at the end of the road. ( But in evermore you can feel it)
Hoax tells the story of the whole album and is deeply connected to Taylor's other works too. It is a great end to this album.
TLDR: Folklore is truly a masterpiece.
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skinnyziamlove · 4 years
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i've always wanted to make a fic rec but i never got the chance, but yesterday some friends (@introvertedbitch2302 and @liamislife​) asked if i could recommend them some of my favorite fics and i got all excited and here i'm !!!!
these fics are my precious babies and i love them all so they are not in a specific order (and please be aware of the trigger warnings in the tags before you read them):
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Just the two of us and a cute little cup of cyanide
Or an I-accidentally-married-my-best-mate-in-Vegas fic, where Liam's completely oblivious, Zayn's completely in love, Harry's had enough, Louis plays mediator and Niall just wants his best friends to be with each other.
The Underdogs
Zayn Malik hates everything about winter. He hates the snow, he hates scraping the ice from his car, he hates freezing every time he steps outside, he hates wearing hats and heavy jackets. In fact, the only thing he doesn't hate about it are his hockey player buddies and his childhood best friend, Liam Payne, the teenage star hockey player and captain of their small town team.
Good Thing At a Bad Time
Zayn prefers to be on his own. It's easier to survive when you don't have to worry about anyone else. Liam leads a large group of people that have taken residence in an abandoned prison. When Zayn wakes up in a prison cell, all he can think about is finding a way out. Liam makes him want to stay.
I See You Babe, But We Are Both Blind
Zayn's fairly certain the world actually hates him. He's got the shittiest luck, and fate seems to want to fuck with him. But maybe that's exactly what he needs.
One Direction returns to London for a break from their Take Me Home Tour in August 2013, and after an unfortunate run-in at a coffee shop, Liam and Zayn find themselves in a fake relationship. Except, it ends up not feeling fake at all.
through the summertime, winter, spring, and fall
They change with the seasons, burning bright during the summer and biting cold during the winter, but that feeling of being in love Zayn found in the summer clings to him through it all.
Angel of Mine
"I'm Zayn, a third year english student, it's my first time here and," he swallows, throat thick with nervousness, "I guess I'm here ‘cause I'm an alcoholic."
Zayn is a recovering alcoholic and Liam is his sponsor.
Die Young, Stay Pretty
Zayn is happy being a hairdresser who minds his own business; that is, until someone called "Liam" has to come in, dragging his friend on the back of a bet. And, really, Zayn didn't stand a chance.
It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn
At a time in his life when Zayn thinks he has forgotten what genuine happiness feels like, Liam comes into the picture and changes everything.
Mad About the Boys
Or: Five times Zayn and Liam cheat Death and then one more time for good measure.
But You Held the Ice
Every time Zayn gets hurt, Liam is there.
Everything On You Intoxicates
Where Zayn maybe stalks that fit guy from his Intro to Lit class on Instagram.
Tangled Up in You
It turns out Zayn’s flatmate is essentially a disney prince. Zayn wonders how this became his life.
kill monsters in the rain
A story where Liam can't get over how great Zayn is at singing and drawing and pretty much everything, how just being near Zayn is enough to make Liam's life a hundred times better, how lucky Liam is to have a best friend just as dedicated to pretending to be a superhero as he is.
it keeps my veins hot (the fire's found a home in me)
or the one where zayn survives a fire and falls in love with the firefighter that saved him.
This Swirling Storm Inside
Or Frozen AU in which Zayn is the heir to the kingdom of Arendelle. He's also trans, and his lifelong dysphoria is finally reaching a breaking point.
I'll Be Strong For You
When Zayn breaks his leg attempting to skateboard over Harry's car, he ends up stuck in the hospital for two weeks. The only thing he doesn't hate about the hospital is the gorgeous volunteer, Liam, who is almost annoyingly sunny and happy. But Liam's got a secret a secret hidden behind his impossibly bright smile.
And You Know For Me, It's Always You
The Gilmore Girls AU I thought would be a good idea and it turns out, it was.
Beautiful Monster
Or, Zayn is a homeless vampire who, unbeknownst to Liam, has been routinely breaking into Liam's van for a warm place to sleep. When Liam catches him in the act things end up going in a direction no one expected. And then shit gets weirder. Because Liam might also be hiding some secrets of his own...
Z.A.Y.N
For six years, international R&B star Liam Payne has topped the charts with his unique, upbeat songs. Even though he’s proud of where he’s gotten himself, he knows he can’t take all the credit; there’s one particular songwriter that goes by the name ‘Icarus Kalim’ that’s played a huge part in his success. Because of the writer’s ability to craft thought provoking tracks that touch Liam in a way he didn’t even know was possible from afar, the celebrity makes a musical exception for ‘Icarus’, buying the man’s songs for himself, even though he swore he would never put his name on something he had no help in creating. But what happens when Liam finally tricks the soulful poet into meeting him after years of not even knowing what the man looks like? Is ‘Icarus’ really all Liam’s made him out to be in his head or will he be unlike anything the singer could’ve ever dreamt up…
I'm Almost Me Again, He's Almost You
(Or, where Liam searches across time and space for the answer to the question: Who the fuck is Zayn?)
A Full Course Meal
Liam had been dreaming about having his own restaurant for a few years. Money was always an issue, though, so when he heard the Food Network was recording a few episodes of Chopped in his city, he let his best friend talk him into participating.
Many things could go wrong along the way; from ruthless rivals to impossible ingredients, from unforgiving judges to his own mind getting in the way.
He spent long nights fretting about the possibilities and still, he never could have guessed what Chopped really had in store for him.
My Lungs and Your Lilac Eyes
This is a love story. It’s an accident, mostly. Nearly all of them are.
You're My Favorite Story
A zombie outbreak leaves Liam teamed up with Zayn, a stranger with a motorcycle who saves Liam's life. Their world has been turned upside down, and all they really have is each other.
Let's Be Alone Together
After getting his heart broken, Liam escapes his life in London by boarding a plane to Amsterdam. Along the way, he finds someone just as lost as him. Together they might just be able to find themselves.
Money Moves
~Fake Engagement AU with Boss!Liam and Secretary!Zayn ~
in the sun
"This man might wander into my dreams, too, some night. Wouldn’t it be nice, if I could pretend we’d met before? I’ve waited a long time, for such a lord.”
Be cruel to me ('cause I'm a fool for you)
Or the one where Zayn is a stressed out single dad, Liam might just be what he needs, Louis and Niall are always happy to babysit and Harry's a loud snorer.
powerless (and i don't care it's obvious)
"Or the one where Zayn and Liam are in love, Liam has another bro female pal that might have been his beard in high school, Zayn has heartbroken sorta past, Liam is a superhero, Louis and Harry are disgustingly in love as Liam and Zayn are and Liam's friends just want him to not-be-a-virgin anymore.)
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middle-class-trash · 3 years
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Rise of the Titans liveblog!!!
that intro made me unexpectedly emotional
So if Blinky is narrating, he can't die, right? Right????
BRO THE SUBWAY SCENE!!!! We're getting right fuckin into it!!!
Steve, my son!!!
I wish Toby wasn't a constant punchline 🙃 it just makes me not take his character seriously
CLAIRE!!!!!!
Something about Douxie decking Skrael at the first opportunity is just so sexy of him
Jim is incredibly brave but it's really reckless to go hand-to-hand with a demigod without proper armor
My heart goes BUMBUMBUMBUM when Douxie looks out the traincar window
Sexy traincar tracks spell WHO
THE WRECKAGE AWWWW
Oh my gosh the people stuck in the magic circle because they wouldnt get out of the way
NO NO NO DOUXIE NO
So they were arrested that early?? Jeez
Nari's such a cutie
"None of us will be talking to you" *cut to Toby spilling every bean*
TOBY'S FACE AT THE END HAHHAHAHA
Something about Nari's voice coming out of Douxie's body is so deeply odd
Oh hey, Krel to the rescue
AREA 49 HAKSHDKSKD
"And your mom."
Oh my gosh he's still broken from Wizards 😂
The Guardians are just dead set on pissing off local authorities huh
JIM!!!
STRICKLER?????
BARBARAAAAA
Stricklake supremacy 😌 they both look so good
Claire listening in 😭😭😭 she's so cute
AWWWWW ENGAGED ENGAGED ENGAGED
......does that give them death flags? Fuck. Fuuuuck fuck fuck fuck. It totally does.
AWWW DOUXIE!NARI HUGGING ARCHIE
Aja!!!!
Your majesty!!
Oh yikes, here's that running gag everyone was talking about.. pregnant Steve
Oh hey, Eli's hot now. We been knew 😂
"Mazel tov!" HAHA
Poor Jim needing a bunch of support to walk 🥺 he's such a trooper
I will simply pass away if Blinky dies
I hope Douxie is okay, we haven't seen him in Nari's body and that makes me ✨nervous✨
OH JKJK
Nari is so goddamn pretty
"Only your presence, not your commitment" is such a rapey saying
"Abra-cadabra, buttsnacks" I love that he still says that 🥺🥺 he loves his friends so much
"Do your worst" *cue both Douxie and Nari absolutely screaming in pain*
Krohnisfere? Alrighty then, that's the first mission
"I wouldn't be so sure of that" AWWW
They fixed the amulet???? DUUUUDE
"For the good of all..." 😭😭😭😭
"Or I could lock onto Nari and portal us there" *dead fucking silence*
I hate how Toby's used as a constant punchline.. a penny? Really?
TRAINTRACK MAGIC CIRCLE GO BRRRR
Poor Nari 🥺 Douxie's in so much distress
Oh no, the new amulet isn't working?? Fuckk
That absolutely gorgeous screencap of pissed Aja
Part of me is glad Nari was forced to do this and wasn't actually a traitor
Ice titan awakening sequence? Ice titan awakening sequence.
Oh Nari. Oh sweetie
Oh my gosh she's fucking tied to her titan
Boiling water!!! Or underwater explosion, that works too. Much more dramatic but that's Bellroc's style
Oh wow Steve actually has a bump?? What the fuck???
Oooh, TrollDragons?
Charlie!!!
"We still don't have a trollhunter" Aja, honey, not helpful
"Does he even trust himself? AJA, HONEY, NOT HELPFUL
Barbara being proud of her son 😭😭
OOH fusing excalibur with the armor?
Aja is so full of confidence, it's a good look for her
Steve being preggo is..really fucking weird. When they said
AWWW BLINKY AND AARRRGHHH
Your honor, I love them
OOH IS IT SOFT JLAIRE TIME
Ohhhh it's soft Jlaire time
He's always looking out for his mom 🥺
"I will always be here (head), and here (heart)" just fuck me up fam
Charlie!!!
Zong-Shi?
"Only death will come to those who go looking for it" oh dear
"The troll with many eyes" how does Charlie know Blinky? 😂
AYYY this where the banner that I found first is from!!! it was so cool seeing my screenshot circulate when we were starved for content 😂😂 everyone was posting various rott icons and banners that they got hoping they'd find a new one
Oh dear.. government
Blinky dear they can't understand you
"Holy frijole" Claire I simply adore you
WOW THAT'S PRETTYYYYY
Troll slaves???
So is Zong-Shi this ugly ass pear-lookin ass
Aja chilling with Jim even though she has doubts is an interesting strategic choice
Douxie, AARRRGHHH, and Nomura? Talk about rarepare
NOMURA CATCHING HIM 😭😭 SEXYYYY
DOUXIE RESCUING NOMURA 😭😭😭😭 SEXXYYYYY
If I havent said it yet, the animation is breathtaking
OH SHIT JIM
aaaaand here come those frozen wings
Nari cant be in control of herself, there's no way. She's still tied to the titan for Pete's sake
NOMURA????
Please dont let this be a sacrifice
PLEASE NO
BOTH CHANGELINGS????
STRICKLANDER??????
No on-screen death, so it's not real. No on-screen death, do it"# notbsmejelreal
NO ON-SCREEN DEATH BUT IT'S NOT REAL
THEYRE TALKING AHOUT HIM PAST-TENSE NOOOO
THEY RBOGUHT UP HIS DADDDDDD
"There's no revelation I can give you" is a great way of saying he's not relevant, genuinely
Oh wow this guy's freaky
Ohhhh so the green thing from the trailers and promo photos is the Krohnisfere
Archie to the rescue!!!
"That's my boy!" AWWE
"Claire nooo, no no no no YESSS, I'm free!!!" Blinky, never change 😂
Oh wow, they're already in contact with Bellroc's titan??
Different note, but the titan's designs are just different enough to make them interestun
VARVATOS??? Okay jk somehow it's gun robot lmfao
WAIT NEVER MIND HAHAHAH HI BUD
....if the bridge falls, can't Charlie just fly them across
LMAO he just saw his death?? That is what he wanted to see 🤷🏻‍♀️
It's too early to celebrate, there's no way Bellroc is down after just a few pinches
Yeahhh
Oh dear... is Varvatos in danger?
Claire being the warrior of the group is incredible and sexy and hhnnngggg
Toby is a Hufflepuff. I will not be answering questions
OH WOW THAT'S HOW HE BURNED HIS HAND??? THE HONRGAZEL?????
ARCHIE SAID GOODBYE??? NO NO NO NO NO
Douxie's gonna be a flat mess!!!
God, plus Nomura and Stricklander
NOOOO DOUXIE YOU BIG SWEETIE
Oh my gosh this is the scene with Douxie trying to connect with Nari, it has to be
"I need to try again" AWWW HONEY
That shot of Mexico was incredibly stereotypical
DOUXIE SWEETHEART 🥺🥺
He's trying to hold her hand???? AWWWW
Oh my gosh he's being choked 😳
NARI BABY!!!!
The huggos 🥺🥺
Jim being frustrated is totally realistic
Wait wait wait waittt do they have the entire titan at their disposal?
"There's absolutely nothing all the way out here" cue a titan. Any of them.
And there it is.
CLAIRE SUPREMACY!!!!!!!
White haired Claire? White haired Claire???
Oh dear it's like.. a little over halfway and there's so much left that could happen
COACH. COOOOACH
OH THANK GOD!!! Steve doesn't need another paternal figure dying on him
Time for Skrael to fuck shit up 😬
I find it interesting how Bellroc and Skrael's titans are both bipedal but Nari's is on four legs, much more animalistic
NARI, NOOOOO PLEASE NO
At least Skrael's done????
We kinds knew Bellroc was the final boss but NOT LIKE THIS
DOUXIE SCREAMING FOR HER
NOOOOOOO
No more running. GODDAMNIT
The three can no longer unite but Bellroc can still fcuk shit up
A HIDDEN PAGE??? FUCK THE WORLD IS TO BE REFORGED WITH FIRE
THE HEARTSTONE??????
Oh shit, the explanation for why Arcadia's the center of everything!!
The only heartstone?? Really???? That's scary as shit, trolls could go instinct without a reliable hearthstone!!
EXCALIBUR TIMEEE
JIMMMMMM
Come on honey, you can do it!!
Aja, honey, I love you so much but now's not the time
THE HEARTSTONE???? FUCK DUDE
.......Steve
Eli the midwife?? ...gross
Jim, my love, my baby boy!!!
The nine of them!!!
AWW BLINKY BEING THE BEST DAD
THEY WORK TOGETHER 😭😭😭😭
FUCK YEAH!!!!!!
"Quiet desperation" is a great word for it
Are we coming on to the big final battle?
Ohnoohnoohno they all said the thing 😭😭😭 someone's gonna die. At least one more is gonna die.
HE'S DRIVINGGGG. LOVE THAT FOR HIM
STICKY SPELL TIME!!!!!!
"Some sort of stickum!" Bro 😂😂
I love how he calls them all Trollhunters 😭 throwback to the OG show where the three of them were all called that
Aja Terron supremacy
Oh it's weird.. it's very weird. Why did Steve have to be pregnant again
Oh dear, there's half an hour left.. this has to be the final battle
JIM
Varvatos shielding Claire and Krel 🥺
Fuck, man, people are getting thrown left and right
DOUXIE MY LOVE
Oh here we fucking go, rematch
NEW AMULET???
Jim's about to get royally fucked up
LIKE THAT
FUCK
WHY IS SHE TAKING HIM??? GOD NO
Anti-magic beacon??
Helloooo that's smart asf
This gives Mount Doom vibes
"Embrace your loved ones for the final time" FUCK MAN STOP IT
"I already was" DAMN RIGHT BUD
NEW AMULETTTT
GO GET JIM GO GET 'IM
DAYLIGHT ARMOR!!!!!!
He was ready to just sacrifice himself like THAT
DAYLIGHT ARMORRRRR WITH EXCALIBUR??????? FUUUUCK
Jim being great at combat is just the best fucking thing
Oh fuck. OH FUCK.
STABBED??????
PLEASE NO, GOD NO
FUUUUCK
"I'm powerless" "You get used to it" WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT
JIM HONEY PLEASE DONT DIE
Is that....is that it?? Oh dear god, is that it????
JIM WHERE ARE YOU
I'm calling it now it's too early to be celebrating
Oh god the weird babies
WHERE IS TOBY
WHERE
NO
MY JAW FUCKING DROPPED
NO WAY, NO FUCKING WAY
HE'S GETTING A DYING MONOLOGUE??????
ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, ALWAYS WILL BE
"Itll be the two of us at the end" WHY DOES THAG SEEM LIKE JIM WILL GO OUT TIO
THERE'S NO WAY TOBY JUST DIED
THHERE'S NO WAY
That was sad as fuck but in a narrative way I hope it's permanent
Oh dear, Jim's going back????
Oh shit
WWHAT IS HE DOING
NOOOOO
"I have cherished every moment with you" STOP IT HE'S HIS FATHER
"I FYOU WERE MY OWN SON" STOPPPPPP
WHAT'S HAPONEINGGGGG
CLAIRE
NOOOO
THIS IS WHERE IM SOBBING
THIS IS WHERE IM LOSUNG IT
"Dont give up on me" FUCK STOPPPP
"I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE AND HERE" FUCK IT STOPPPPP
"I would date you for a hundred lifetimes" IS REALLY BEING TESTED HUH
THERE ARE 10 MINUTES ELFT WHAT THEBFUCK
AND WE'RE BACK TO TROLLHUNTERS?.????
HUHHHH
Fuck, man. FUCK, MAN.
Oh, Toby. Ohhhh Toby
CLAIRE 🥺
ROMEO AND JULIET!!!!
Oh my fucking god
"IF YOUD COME OVER TO DINNER" AYYYYY
His smile at Steve 🥺
HE'S HAVING TOBY TAKE THE CANAL???? But wouldnt the amulet still call for Jim?????
"Nothing interesting ever happens in Arcadia" VERY FUCKING FUNNY
Destiny is a gift. Some go their entire lives living in an existence of quiet desperation, never learning the truth- that what feels as though a burden pushing down upon our shoulders is actually the sense of purpose that lifts us to greater heights. Never forget that fear is but the precursor to valor. That to strive and triumph in the face of fear is what it means to be a hero. Don't think. Become.
.......it actually called his name. I can't believe it actually called his name.
The fuck is that ending??? Let Jim REST
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taptroupe · 3 years
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evergrace chapter 11 - PSYCH! in order to prepare my heart i’m going to redo the prologue of the novel so enjoy this BONUS
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warning for self-harm though
. i didn’t catch it in the first reading so reading now it’s like :| oh god
As a little thing I wanted to do, I’m gonna redo the intro properly for the Evergrace novel because when I first started this, it was really rough and more like a summary. I probably won’t redo the rest of the chapters that I skimmed through in like point blank form, but because the intro is so good it deserves this justice. I need this before I go through the rest of chapter 11 because oh god.
sparse art this time and it’s all just art i drew for the intro before. but hey, enjoy :)
and thank you to saria for helping with a line about dancing. lmao
A burning sunset draped the world in a red light.
A brick house, skinny trees with gangly trunks, a sparse amount of livestock herded together and the barren plain that used to keep them fed, they were all overlooked by a rocky hill. 
And on that hill was the shrinking shadow of a young boy.
The boy, as if using the hill for emotional support, was rubbing at his eyes continually overflowing with tears. His soft greyish hair was mottled with mud, and so were his pants, fraying with scratched holes.
As the tears flowed, his small shoulders trembled greatly, and the boy cried out as if his throat had broken free of all restraints.
From his swollen, red eyes came tears that brushed against the back of his right hand. There was a mysterious marking on the back of his hand, clearly defined by its pattern.
He scratched at the bruise with his other hand as strong as he could, until his fingers and palms were a bright red. 
But the marking would not go away.
He placed his hand palm up on the rough surface of the rocks and began to scratch against it. Gripping his right hand with all his strength, he dragged his hand across the rocks.
A different kind of pain escaped the boy’s mouth through his cries, and streaks of blood appeared on the rock. 
The pain made the boy flinch, but his young face was filled with hate, and he grinded his right hand against the rock with renewed effort.
“What are you doing?!”
The shadow of a person much larger falls upon the young boy.
A girl stood at the hill with hair redder than the sunset sky.
The girl ran over to the young boy, her ornate dress flapping in the wind. She took hold of the boy’s bloody hand.
"You shouldn’t do that kind of thing, you know!”
The boy’s lips were firmly pressed shut, and he only looked up at the girl with frozen eyes. The red-haired girl crouched down beside the boy, and gave him a kind smile. She took a cloth from her waistpouch and gently wiped the mud off the boy.
“Now, why don’t we go back home together? Didn’t you say before that baby chicks learn to fly around this time? Let’s go home, so you can show me!”
“I don’t.... want to go home. Everything would be better if I wasn’t here.”
The boy’s shaky reply made the girl’s eyes widen in surprise. From the boy’s amber eyes, the tears started to flow again.
“Everyone, everyone said that someone with the Crest like me, they wished I wasn’t born...”
“Now, who said something like that?”
The weight of the boy’s tears almost seemed to guide his head downwards. In a muffled but bitter voice, he replied back indignantly. 
“Everyone in the village said so. Because I’m here, all the crops and animals keep dying! If my father wasn’t so respected, he’d be kicked out of the village by now... Because there’s someone like me plaguing everyone’s lives, they’re always saying horrible things about my parents...
And Sharline, because of me, you were kicked out of the hunting group, weren’t you?”
An expression rose up within the girl named Sharline. Shock, anger, and sadness all mixed up on the girl’s suffering face. The boy tried to shake her hand away, but she held on tightly, using her free hand to gently wipe off the mud from his head.
“You shouldn’t pay a single heed to those words. Those crops are failing because the earth around here has always been bad. And those dying livestock, it’s just because their caretakers didn’t quite do their job, right? And, I...
I just couldn’t go hunting because I got in a big fight with the lead hunter, that’s all. Darius, you had nothing to do with that.”
“......But, as long as I have this Crest, won’t these horrible things just continue?”
As if the boy was weighed down by something very heavy, his shoulders drooped low - and his head sunk too.
Sharline shook her head slowly.
“That’s not true, okay? Sure, plenty of things will always happen from here on out, but that’s just how people are always gonna be - causing things. 
What in the world can a little bruise do? Like hey, every night, Darius’s spoooooky hand just sneaks out the window and dances around people’s pillows, that what they think? It’s just ridiculous!”
The boy saw a smile light up across Sharline’s face as she cheerfully wiped the last bits of mud from his hair.
“The next time people say those kinds of words again, let me know ASAP. The second time it happens, it won’t, because I’ll be beating them right up!”
“Wait, no, Sharline! If you do that, you’ll...”
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“Don’t worry about it!” 
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Sharline cupped her hands around Darius’ face, raising his head slightly upward. Through his tear-stained eyes, Darius could see an enthusiastic smile beaming at him.
“Y’know, Darius? More than anyone else in the village, I love you the most. That’s why if anyone says anything bad to you, I’ll always protect you. Believe in me.” 
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[this is the line alayna vetoed right into “i love you the most,” but to be honest it’s more like “favourite” or cutely, “you’re my number one!” but I DON’T CARE]
Darius looked up with an surprised expression as Sharline gently pressed her hands against his cheeks.
The boy, still staggering slightly, was suddenly brought so close he could feel the blood coursing through the girl’s throat. 
[this line is weird, I don’t know how to word it properly, but hope that’s okay.]
His shoulders, his back, all were wrapped up into the girl’s arms, hugging him strongly.
It’s warm...
Outside of any blood relative, it was the first time he had ever been hugged.
Whatever fear the boy had within himself, it quickly diminished and replaced itself with a gentle warmth that spread from the back of his neck. With kind hands, Sharline gently stroked his back, and the voice hidden in the depths of his throat came out once more.
As if a gate had burst free, the boy cried out a new flood of tears as he was gently wrapped in the embrace of the red-haired girl.
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image not quite accurate, i drew this way back when i first read it. but yeah...................... evergrace hearwarming family moments :’) i love them very much
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Text
Stark Spangled Forever: I Don’t Like Bullies
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Intro: Emmy encounters someone from her past, and is left shaken after they threaten her. Steve and Bucky decided to pay them a little visit…
Warnings: Some violence, a slightly dark Steve and Bucky…some bad language. SMUT (NSFW, No UNDER 18s!!!)
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark
A/N: Had this one in my head for a while, finally got round to penning it down. Hope you enjoy.
SSF Masterlist // WIYPT Masterlist
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August 2024
“Again!” Jamie giggled, splashing his way over to Steve who laughed and waited for Jamie to reach him.
“Ok ,one…two…three…” hooking his hands under Jamie’s armpits he gently launched him into the air and the 4 year old laughed hysterically before he hit the water with a splash in the deeper end of the pool before emerging, from the surface.
“You’re gonna give me a heart attack…” Katie sighed from where she was sat on the steps to the pool, submerged to her shoulders. Rori was suspended in the little inflatable baby support, her legs kicking out behind her as Katie gently pushed her away then pulled her back, the baby smiling and thrashing with her arms.
“He’s fine ain’t you son?” Steve asked as Jamie doggie paddled over to him, grinning.
“It’s like flying Momma!”
“Hmmm.” she said, as Jamie jumped on his dad’s back and he pulled at Steve’s neck. Steve, playing along threw himself backwards taking them both under the surface before he stood up, shaking his head like a dog as Jamie’s laugh hit his ears.
“You’re getting strong pal.” he said, turning his head over his shoulder so he could look at Jamie. Jamie grinned.
“How’s my little water baby doing?” Steve asked as he carried Jamie on his back to where his wife and daughter were, Jamie scrabbling out of the pool and heading to the lounger for a drink.
“She’s fine.” Katie smiled, as Steve turned his attention to Aurora, a huge grin on his face as she looked at him and beamed, waving her legs and arms as fast as she could.
“Look at you princess!” he said as Katie pulled her back towards them. He dropped down so his shoulders were under the water and Rori was at eye level. “Think she’s enjoying it.”
Katie smiled as the two of them watched the baby for a moment before Katie looked up at Jamie who was sat now with Lucky between his legs, gently talking to the dog. “Do you know what time it is?”
Steve glanced at his watch “Almost 4.”
“I should really think about starting dinner.”
“Leave it….” he said, turning to her, pressing his lips to hers. “Come on, when was the last time we got an afternoon like this?”
She smiled, “Feels like a while that’s for sure…”
“So…we can chuck a frozen pizza in for Jamie and we can get a take-out…” he said, moving so he was behind her, his arms curling around her waist, pulling her back so she was perched on his bent legs, his chin resting on her shoulder “Eat by the pool…” he placed a kiss to the crook of her neck, “And then later when he’s in bed and she’s settled we can hit the hot-tub…” another kiss “maybe a bottle of wine…”
“You feeling amorous Soldier?” Katie grinned, tipping her head round to face him.
“Always when you’re concerned…” he winked, his lips again meeting hers, only this time the kiss slightly deeper until they broke apart after a loud splash, followed by a smaller splash drew their attention.
Jamie had launched himself back into the pool, followed by Lucky who had clearly decided he too needed to get in the action.
They stayed in the water for another 15 minutes or so until Rori started to get a bit grouchy, and Katie took her out, wrapping them both in a towel and sitting in the quiet for a while to feed her. Steve and Jamie followed her out a little while later, both drying themselves off before Steve took Jamie inside to get him a juice box and throw his pizza in the oven. Jamie then insisted he wouldn’t make it until his pizza was done as he as starving, so Steve got him quick snack of breadsticks and hummus and sent him back out onto the garden where he made his way over to the side of the pool, flopping down on the lounger next to his Momma.
Deciding that a snack was actually a pretty good idea really, Steve grabbed a few things from the fridge, namely olives, more breadsticks, dips, cheeses and was about to carry it down to the pool area when the security system sounded to tell him that Emmy had come home.
“It’s ok…you’re ok…” his ears picked up Brooke’s voice from the hall and instantly he frowned as he heard Emmy’s deep breathing too. He strode into the hallway just in time to see Emmy slide down to the floor, her back pressed to the door as she tugged her knees to her chest.
“Emmy?” Steve asked, quickly dropping down in front of her. “Hey…look at me…”
She looked up and he gently reached out, his hand smoothing back her hair “Use your numbers ok, like we used too, remember?”
She gripped his hand tight and her eyes screwed shut as she desperately tried to regulate her breathing and Steve, not once taking his eyes off his daughter issued Brooke with an instruction to go and get Katie. Less than 2 minutes later she was also on her knees next to Emmy having left Brooke to watch the younger two and it was a minute or so later before the 16 year old began to breathe normally, her eyes slowly blinking as they returned to their usual size instead of being blown wide open.
“You ok?” Katie asked gently, looking at Emmy. She nodded.
“Sorry…”
“Don’t…” Steve looked at her as she fell into his arms, pressing her face against his bare chest as he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head “Don’t every apologise for that, we told you.” The amount of panic attacks their daughter had had when she first came to live with them meant they’d been fairly used to them, but she hadn’t had one in a VERY long time, not since the events of the Final battle with Thanos had hit her and she’d broken down about losing her Uncle Tony, Auntie Nat and then how close she had to losing her parents. Emmy was a strong, independent teenager who for the most part simply got on with things, letting a lot of stuff that would bother other people wash right over her head. But clearly something had triggered her today.
“You need a drink sweetheart?” Katie asked and Emmy nodded.
“Ok. Think you can stand?” Steve asked.
“You’re not carrying me.” Emmy looked at Steve and he raised an eyebrow.
“You used to love me doing that.” Steve quipped and she rolled her eyes.
“Yeah at the Parties at the Kids home.” she grumbled “I’m not 7 anymore.”
“Never too old for your Pa to carry you.” Steve teased, standing up and offering him her hand. She took it and he pulled her to her feet, and despite her protestations at her age she kept her fingers tightly wound around his as they headed to the kitchen.
“Emmy!” Jamie shot off his seat and threw himself at his older sister. She smiled and bent to give him a hug.
“Hey Jay…” she smiled, “You been swimming?”
“Daddy was throwing me.” he grinned. “I bet he could do it for you too.”
“Sure he could” Emmy smiled as she shakily took a seat, glancing at Rori who was in Brooke’s arms, her little hands tangling in the girl’s long, red hair.
“Jamie, why don’t you go in the den for a moment, watch some TV.” Katie looked at him, adjusting the crochet slip she had thrown on over her bathing suit “Momma and Daddy need to talk to Emmy for a second.”
“But I don’t wanna.” he frowned.
“Hey, why don’t you show me your legos?” Brooke said quickly. Steve could see the cogs in his son’s head whirring as he considered this for a second before he nodded.
“Ok.”
“Thanks Brooke.” Katie said to her as she handed Rori back over.
“No problem Mrs R.” she said, allowing Jamie to tug her by the hand out of the room.
Once they were gone Katie adjusted Rori in her arms so that her head was tucked against her shoulder, mouth resting on her collar bone and Steve took a seat next to Emmy after pouring her a glass of water.
“Wanna tell us what happened Em?” he asked gently.
“We’d just been in The Hub.” she said, “You know the Computer shop because Brooke needed a new charger for her tablet.” Emmy swallowed and took a sip of her drink “We were walking down towards the bus stop so we could head home and we’d just passed that bar on the corner, you know the Irish Pub place?”
“Mc Mahons, yeah we know it…” Steve nodded
“And then he came out.”
“Who?” Katie asked, her eyes not leaving her daughter.
“Him…my old foster father. The one that used to hit me.”
Steve took a deep breath and breathed out through his nose “Did he hurt you?”
“No, not really…he erm, he didn’t recognise me at first and I kept walking but Brook had stopped and when she shouted my name he realised it was me and he grabbed my arm and…”
“Ok…ok…” Katie said gently, as Steve gently laid a hand on their daughter’s shoulder.
“Did he do anything else?” he asked. Emmy shook her head.
“He just started shouting stuff, saying he knew that I’d landed on my feet and that I was nothing but a worthless brat and that he would come and pay you a visit one day, tell you all about what I used to do and how bad I was and then you’d throw me out and…”
“Em, he’s an ass hole.” Katie said gently “You were never a bad kid. You’d been treated appallingly, what that man did do you…” she shook her head “It was cruel and abusive and…”
Steve’s hand fell to Katie’s knee under the table as she looked away, blinking back the tears.
“Emmy, me and your mom love you.” Steve looked at her, “We love all you kids more than anything, and nothing this dick says or does will change the way we feel. You know that right?” “I know, I just didn���t like seeing him that’s all.” she said gently “I just had all these flashbacks to the basement he locked me in and the belt…”
She swallowed and looked down. Steve looked at Katie, the jaw in his nerve twitching with anger as he took a deep breath and ran his hand up Emmy’s back.
“Well I hope he makes good on his promise and does pay us a visit.” he said his eyes flashing “I’d be very happy to exchange a few words with him, maybe a few fists too.”
Emmy smiled softly as Katie shook her head.
“Pretty sure your Uncle Buck would have a something to say too. And between you and me, his Murder Strut is frightening.” “Murder Strut?” Emmy looked up, the corners of her mouth twitching. Katie nodded.
“Trust me, I saw it a few times. Scared the shit out of me.”
“Woah, you saying I’m not scary?” Steve scoffed, folding his arms.
“Bucky’s a Rottweiler, you’re more of an angry retriever.” Katie shrugged and at that point Emmy laughed, which was exactly what her parents had been hoping to achieve. Steve flashed a wink at his wife before he turned back to Emmy.
“You know he won’t ever hurt you again, not now you’re with us.”
“I know. I love you guys.” she smiled and Steve dropped a kiss to her cheek. She looked up, wiped her eyes and then glanced at her mom. “Can Brooke stay tonight?”
“Course she can, I'll call Jen”
“It's ok she can message…”
“I'll call her.” Katie said firmly, “Brooke was there today so Jen has a right to know what happened. Don’t worry, she won’t be mad at you.” “Kay…” Emmy nodded “What's for dinner?”
“Your dad threw a pizza in for Jamie, we're gonna get take out and hang by the pool.” Katie said.
“Anything you fancy?” Steve asked.
“Can we try the Greek place?”
“Sure.” Steve nodded “Hey, do they do Shwarma?”
“Gyros.” Katie said, “Same thing almost.”
“I’m in.” Steve said.
“I'm gonna go watch TV for a bit, that ok?”
“Course.” Katie smiled.
Emmy stood up and moved behind her dad, hugging him from behind, her arms round his shoulders. He tilted his head so she could kiss his cheek before she moved to do the same to her mom, giving Rori a peck.
“Love you both.” she smiled at them, before she left the room.
As soon as she was gone Steve stood up, his calm demeanour ebbing away as Katie looked up at him, shaking her head.
“I wanna kill him Steve.”
“You and me both doll.” he paced.
“Think we should call the police?” Katie asked, gently rocking Rori to and fro as she had started to grumble.
Steve contemplated what she had said before he paused, folded his arms and looked at the door, then back to Katie “I got a better idea.”
“What?”
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
“You know I do”
“Then leave it with me.” he said simply
“Steve...” she stated, instantly understanding what he was implying “You can’t.” “Why not?”
“Well, for starters we have no idea where he lives.”
Steve snorted "Sweetheart, you're forgetting who we know."
"Oh, no...you can't drag Sam into this." Katie shook her head "Ross is being an asshole with him as it is without you giving him ammo by getting Sammy into trouble."
"I'm not" Steve smiled, raising his eyebrow “I'm gonna drag Bucky into it instead."
****** Bucky sat at the bar, baseball cap tugged down over his eyes. He’d been reliably informed his target drank in this run-down back dive every Wednesday and Thursday evening. He liked the happy hour, apparently.
Aint gonna be happy for much longer, buddy.
Despite the fact that he was trying to live a normal life now (ok, maybe helping Sam out every now and then) when Steve had asked him to help him with this particular mission he’d immediately said yes. Not simply because Steve was his best friend, but because it involved Emmy. As far as Buck was concerned, the Rogers kids might as well be his own in that respect because he’d give his life to protect any of them.
And then there was Brooke. Bucky had been dating Brooke’s mom, Jennifer now for a few weeks after they’d hit it off at Steve’s birthday party. It was great, slow moving but that’s what he wanted, and when he’d heard that her daughter had been caught up in all this business as well, it was another reason for him to slip back into his old assassin mode.
Only this time his instructions were clear. Apprehend alive.
At first when Steve had told him this he had been about to tease him, wind him up, surely after all these years the Captain had finally found that trigger to flip him over to the dark side, but then he had seen something stir in his best pal’s eyes. He’d told him then about an incident in a HYDRA base, where he had killed on of Katie’s captors and Bucky knew, it was there alright, and he had a feeling he was going to see it whenever they caught this punk.
He ordered another drink, his eyes re-reading the paper he’d brought with him for the 15th time. To most people stake-out work like this would get them bored, antsy, but not Bucky. He’d waited much longer before and he knew that if you got like that you lost concentration which made things 100 times harder in the long run. His eyes scanned back to the entrance to the bar, flicking back round the pub, and he observed the people to make sure he hadn’t missed the man sneaking in, even though he knew that was basically impossible. Satisfied he hadn’t, he took the drink off the bar tender, paid him (another rule of spy work- never set up tabs, you run without paying and your face is recognised all over the damned scene). He took a sip of his beer before he heard the door open and he looked round, fighting the smirk on his face as finally his target walked in and straight to the bar to Bucky’s right.
The man ordered his drink, a straight black label whiskey and when it was served he paid with a bunch of crumpled ones and picked the glass up, heading to a table.
Bucky had to hand it to the guy, in the half an hour he spent in the bar he knocked back a good 5 helpings of scotch before he stood up, and rather unsteadily made his way to the door. Giving him enough time to get out of the door, Bucky then rose and followed him. He tailed him into another bar, then another, before after the 3rd the man headed home.
Bucky watched him unlock the door to the rundown apartment block, before he staggered inside. Quick as a flash Bucky shot over the road, sticking his foot in the door to stop it from shutting. Slipping inside he pressed himself up against the dark wall, just to the side of the post boxes, as the man turned around. After a second or so Bucky heard him heading up the stairs. He walked to the bottom of the steps, and keeping his footsteps light he headed after him and emerged onto the second landing, peering round the wall to watch as the man stopped outside a door, pulling out his keys.
Bucky waited until the door was closed before he headed back down to the ground floor, pulling out his phone.
“I got him.”
***** Steve climbed out of his car, looking up at the ramshackle building before he crossed the road. Bucky was waiting for him and opened the door to the apartment block from the inside.
“What you come dressed as?” Bucky arched an eyebrow, scanning Steve up and down. He was dressed in a pair of black jeans, a dark navy t-shirt and black boots, with a cap pulled down over his face.
“You.” Steve said simply, and Bucky snorted.
“He’s on the Second floor.” he said simply “Number 202. Still think you should just let me shoot him.”
“No.” Steve said “We’re not killing him…”
Bucky rolled his eyes “Why?”
“Because I want him as scared as he made Emmy.” Steve said simply. “He can spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder.”
Bucky shrugged, “Your call…”
Steve headed to the stairs and started to climb them, stopping as he heard his foot crunch on something.
“Nice place…” he mumbled as he looked down to see he had stood on a cockroach.
“Don’t be a snob Stevie…”  Bucky looked at him, and Steve rolled his eyes.
“Even my place in the 40s wasn’t this grim.” he turned to look at his friend before he continued up the flight of steps.
“It wasn’t the ritz either.” Bucky shrugged as they emerged onto the landing. They stopped outside the door and Steve took a breath before he looked at Bucky.
“Looks like we need a key….” he quipped. Bucky gave a smirk, before he drew his left hand back and punched straight through the door, grabbing the handle and turning it to undo the lock from the inside. He threw it open and strode inside, Steve casting a look around before he followed and pulled the door shut behind them. Hearing the noise the man flew out of the kitchen, a knife in his hand, stopping dead when he saw Bucky.
“Who the fuck are you?” he demanded.
Bucky simply raised his eyebrows.
“Look, if Mario sent you…I told him, he’ll get his money…”
“I don’t know any Mario…” Bucky shook his head, “Well, not unless you count the one that rides on the karts in that game my nephew enjoys kicking my ass at. Now put the knife down Jack before someone gets hurt.”
“How do you know my name?” Jack asked, his eyes not once leaving Bucky, missing the Captain who was stood in the darkness of the room behind him. “What the fuck do you want?”
“I don’t want anything…” Bucky said, shrugging, “But he does…”
At that point Steve stepped forwards, drawing up besides his friend, getting a good look at the man in front of him. He was quite tall, but lanky, with a pointed noise and sharp features, reminding Steve of an overgrown rat.  Which fitted him perfectly, out and out vermin. Jack frowned and squinted slightly as he looked straight at Steve, suddenly paling even further. Whilst Steve looked a lot different from the once blue-eyed All American hero the world recognised him to be, there was no mistaking who he was, especially to the man in question. Steve stood stock still, his hands falling to the buckle which was round the waist of his black jeans, his chest flexing under his navy t-shirt as he glared at the man.
“Woah…look…I don’t want any trouble…” Jack began to press.
“You should have thought about that before you touched and threatened my daughter.” Steve’s voice was icy.
Jack’s hand clenched around the knife and Bucky rolled his eyes, before he whipped off the glove on his left hand, holding it up, the metal glinting in the dim light of the lamp that stood in the corner of the grubby apartment.
“This can do far more damage than that blade can.” he said simply, looking at his hand before he turned to Jack “Go ahead, I’ll even give you one free swing. But it better be fast.”
Steve expected the man to drop the knife, but instead he lunged forwards. Bucky sighed, and almost lazily dodged to the right before he knocked the knife out of the man’s hand with a single swipe and gripped him around the neck with his hand, slamming him hard into the wall.
“That was really fucking stupid.” he said, tightening his fingers around the man’s windpipe, lifting him off the floor. The man grabbed at Bucky’s arm, desperately trying to prise his fingers from around his neck.
“Buck…” Steve said, and Bucky let go, Jack slumping to the floor. Steve reached down, grabbed his shirt and hauled him to his feet slamming him against the wall.
“Now…” Steve said, his hands tightening. “I don’t like bullies. And that’s what you are. I know exactly what you did to Emmy, all the times you beat her, hurt her, whipped her with a belt until her back split and bled. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t rip you in half right now.”
“Captain America…nah…you wouldn’t…” Jack stuttered, shaking his head “You’re a good guy…”
“Well, here’s the thing.” Bucky said, picking up the knife that Jack had dropped, leaning on the wall, lazily twirling the blade in his hand. “He’s not Captain America anymore. Just some guy whose daughter you threatened.”
“Which makes me a hundred times more dangerous…” Steve said.
“And I, well, I just don’t give a shit.” Bucky shrugged “Killed a lot of people one way or another…what’s one more piece of shit like you gonna mean?”
Jack looked at Steve, shaking his head “No, you wouldn’t…”
“I snapped the neck of the man who raped my wife.” Steve said, his gaze not once leaving the man’s in front of him “Trust me, you have no idea what I would do to keep my family safe.”
He paused for a second, letting it sink in as Jack swallowed.
“But I’m a fair man.” Steve said, letting go of Jack who dropped a few inches before he pulled himself back up full height. Steve smoothed down the man’s dirty t-shirt before he smiled at him. “So I’m gonna give you a chance to play ball. You got 48 hours to leave New York.” “By that we mean the state.” Bucky clarified.
“And if I ever get a sniff that you’re back in town…” Steve continued.
“And trust us, we’ll know…” Bucky mused, still looking at the knife before he grinned at Jack “We got friends in high places, eyes and ears everywhere…” “….then you’ll lose more than your teeth.” Steve concluded, matter of factly.
“My teeth? What do-“
CRACK.
Steve cut him off with a sharp jab straight into his mouth and Jack dropped to the floor howling in pain as the blood poured from between his fingers which clamped over the lower part of his face.
“Got the message?” Steve asked, standing over him as Jack rolled around, screaming. He mumbled something, his head nodding furiously.
“Can I shoot him now?” Bucky asked.
“No.” Steve shook his head.
“Just once in the knee?”
“No.” Steve snorted “Come on…let’s get out of here, the amount of noise he’s making someone’s bound to hear. He turned to go, and then heard another loud scream. Spinning around he saw that Jack’s hand was now pinned to the floor by the knife Bucky had been holding.
“What?” Bucky asked, shrugging as Steve shot him a look “You said I couldn’t shoot him, didn’t say anything about stabbing him.”
***** The two friends sat at a bar, not far from Steve’s house, each with a beer in hand.
“So, run that by me again…” Bucky said.
“I told Katie I was meeting you for a drink.” Steve shrugged, nodding at the bottle “Technically now I’m not lying.”
“You’re a punk.” Bucky snorted.
“She’ll know full well where I’ve been.” Steve shrugged “She ain’t stupid…”
“Good luck to you pal.” Bucky said, taking a drink “She’s scary when she’s angry.”
Steve snorted “Nah, she won’t be mad...she knew full well I was planning on giving him a warning so…”
“Then why not just tell her?” “Because she’d worry.” Steve said simply.
“Think he’ll heed it?” Bucky asked after a little pause and Steve pondered the question for a moment before he nodded.
“Like I said he’s a bully.” he took a swig of his beer before he looked at Bucky “You know as well as I do that the minute someone bigger stands up to them they back off.”
“Gotta hand it to you pal…” Bucky said, sitting back “You come a long way since you were defending yourself with a trash can lid behind the movie theatre down town…”
“So everyone says.” Steve shrugged “Still don’t feel any different.”
“Remember when Howard’s flying car was the strangest thing we had ever seen?” Bucky sighed “I almost miss those days.” “Would you go back?” Steve asked, “Given the chance?”
Bucky took a deep breath and wrinkled his nose “Nah, I’m too different…too much has happened you know. I don’t think I’d settle. Plus this would probably attract a little more attention than it does now.” he said, flexing his left hand.
Steve smiled “I know what you mean. If you’d asked me when I first came round…I’d have jumped at the chance but after Katie…” he took another drink before he let out a soft huff. “I crossed oceans of time to find her.”
Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Dracula…romantic.” he said and Steve let out a laugh.
“Speaking of romantic…” Steve looked at his friend “How’s it going with Jen?”
“Ok.”
“Just ok?”
“I’m taking it slow.” Bucky shrugged “We’ve been on a few dates and…yeah I like her Steve and she likes me so…”
“Well if you ever want any advice on modern day dating…”
“The day I ask you for dating advice is the day I quit.” Bucky snorted
“I did ok.” Steve grinned “Well, more than ok actually. I lucked out.”
“No, you got what you deserved.” Bucky shook his head “A woman that loves you for who you are, not what you are.” Steve felt his cheeks flush a little as he shrugged “Not quite sure what I did to deserve her but…”
“You’re a good man.” Bucky said “You always were and always have been. A pain in my ass like, but…” he drained his beer and shook his head “Anyway, enough sentimental crap. You want another?”
Steve contemplated that before he shrugged “Sure, why not?”
One more turned into 5 more, and it was a good 2 hours later and approaching midnight when the men left. It wasn’t the first time they’d been out for drinks since being re-united, but to Steve it was the first time that it felt like the old days. They’d talked about so many memories, he’d laughed until he had cried as they both recalled some of their antics, and he felt completely at peace when he walked into the hallway of his house.
Removing his cap he ran a hand through his hair before he hung it on the coat rack on the wall. Then he dropped his keys into that infernal golden pineapple bowl that Katie had bought him all those years ago and headed into the lounge where Katie was sat in her pyjamas, Rori clutched to her breast as she fed.
“Hey…” he smiled, crossing the floor and dropping a kiss to her lips before he turned his attention to his daughter, his finger gently running along her hardworking cheek.
“You have a good time?” she asked, giving a little yawn.
“Yeah.” Steve nodded. “It was nice. When did she wake up?”
“About half an hour ago.” Katie shrugged “With a bit of luck she’ll go down again soon and sleep for a couple of hours.”
“I’ll do the next feed.” Steve said “You can get some rest.”
“Ok.” Katie agreed, yawning again and as she did so Rori mimicked her, her eyes which were now carrying a slight greenish hue fluttering. Steve gestured for Katie to hand her over, and she did so as Steve held her up over her shoulder, hands that had hours ago been so violent were now ever so gentle, rubbing his daughter’s back to wind her as Katie adjusted her top.  They sat there in silence for a little while before Katie finally spoke.
“So how badly did you hurt him?”
“What?”
“Jack?” She turned her head to Steve who looked at her “I know full well what you were up to.”
“I knew you would.” Steve huffed a laugh “And not too badly. Knocked a few of his teeth out…oh, and Bucky nailed his hand to the floor with a knife. He won’t be bothering Emmy again, or any of us for that matter.”
Katie looked at him for a moment before Rori gave a light burp and Steve gently turned his face, pressing his lips to the baby’s head.
“Here…” Katie said, and Steve handed her over “I’ll go put her down.”
She gathered the baby in her arms before she dropped a kiss to Steve’s mouth “Don’t be too long…”
He arched an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Well, you know what you getting all dark and protective does to me…” she grinned, looking down at Rori “That’s what made her in the first place.”
Steve’s eyes darkened at the memory of that particular day in the HYDRA base which he was recalling for the second time in the space of a few hours, albeit for very different reasons. “How could I forget?”
Standing up she walked to the door, Steve watching her go, before she shot him a coy look over her shoulder his pants became a lot tighter than they should have been. He gave a soft groan, before his head fell back against the cushion of the sofa. After a moment or two he stood up and turned off the lights, before heading up the stairs after his wife.
He stood in the doorway, watching as she placed Rori in the crib at the end of the bed before he strode over to her, his hands falling to her waist as he spun her round, his lips crashing to hers. She took the kiss eagerly, her tongue sliding against his as he backed her towards the bed, her hands fumbling with his belt as they went. Neither were wasting any time, and after a quick wrestle with their clothing they both collapsed onto the bed, Steve caging his wife underneath him with his arms and legs.
Their eyes locked for a second before he pressed his lips to hers and kissed her again, slow and hard, both his hands cupping her face, thumbs gently skating her cheeks as she let out a soft groan and he felt his cock twitch. His lips not once leaving hers his right hand gently slid down to her thigh, and his fingers gently gave her hip a squeeze causing her to sigh into his mouth again. Using his hand he hooked her leg round his waist, and ground his erection against her spot causing her to moan as she pulled away from the kiss, her head laying further back against the pillow, her eyes fluttering shut as his mouth dropped, swirling softly around her pebbled nipples, carefully lavishing affection on them in turn, and in moments she was quivering to his touch, her breathing ragged.
“Look at me…” he said, voice low, almost a growl and her eyes sprang open obediently, those sparkling emeralds glinting in the dim light as he held her gaze as he pushed into her, her breath catching in her throat. He stilled for a moment, enjoying her warmth as it gripped him before he moved his hips back, thrusting into her again. His pace was hard, deep and he continually dragged in and out of her, dropping his head to kiss and lick and suck all along her collar bone, knowing full well he would leave marks there for the morning but neither of them cared as their moans grew louder as his thrusts grew more desperate.
"Fuck." he groaned, both hands now on her hips as he continued his movements and Katie’s hands moved to brace herself against the headboard, her body moving with every slam he made into her. One hand moved to the back of her head and he used it to make her look up, her eyes locking onto his as he felt her body start to quiver.
“I love you…” he said, his pace not slowing in the slightest.
“Love you too Soldier…” her words stuttered as he thrust up hard, stilling slightly, grinding up against her, as she writhed underneath him, a desperate, filthy noise escaping her mouth as her back arched and her hands flew to his back, nails scratching at his skin. God he loved the feel of her doing that, the stinging pain mixed with the pleasure was a heady mix and he took in a sharp breath, dropping his mouth to capture hers as she moaned again, this moan broken as she bucked upwards and clutched at him desperately.
“Stevie…” she moaned and her walls tightened on him as she came, her entire body trembling underneath him and he pulled back so he could watch her, lips swollen from his desperate kisses, cheeks flushed, eyelids fluttering against her cheeks. He continued his pace, her eyes opening moments late to lock onto his as the spring that had been coiled so tightly suddenly released and he spilled himself insider her with a low, rough grunt of her name and he tipped forwards, his hips slowing to a stop as he buried his face in her neck.
The pair of them lay still, the only sounds in the bedroom now were the deep, ragged drawings of breath. Katie gently ran her hands through his hair, as she always did, Steve’s body on top of hers rising and falling through the movements of her deep breathing.  Eventually he raised his head gently and pressed their foreheads together, his nose sliding up and down hers. She smiled at him, and pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss before he rolled over onto his back, and she snuggled into him, her head on his chest. He reached for her left hand which was laying flat against his abs and raised it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, just underneath where her wedding band sat.
“I love you, I love you all so much.” he said gently. She raised her head to look at him, smiling as she kissed him softly.
“I know, I love you. We all do.”
She was asleep before him, Steve lay awake for a little while longer contemplating everything that had gone down that evening. He’d crossed that line again, the darkness that had awoken all those years ago had bubbled inside of him and he wasn’t going to lie, it had been satisfying, and despite what he had said to Bucky, he would have happily killed the snivelling bastard with his bare hands and not even blinked twice about doing so. But something had stopped him short this time, and he knew now what it was.
His kids.
Back then they hadn’t been in the picture, and he wanted to be able to look them in the eye and tell them right from wrong without feeling like a hypocrite. Steve Rogers was a good man, a loyal husband, doting father, and he wanted to be worthy of the love that surrounded him on a daily basis.
He looked down at his sleeping wife before he shifted slightly, dropping a kiss to her head before he closed his eyes and fell into a trouble free sleep.
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writingforevren · 4 years
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Word Search Tag (Long)
So I got tagged by four people I’m gonna be combining all of these into one post which may be pretty long because honestly I don’t have the patience for four separate posts. Thanks for tagging me! next time I’ll try to get to these faster. I’m going to separate these into which WIPs they’re from. You can view my WIP Intro’s -> Here
Words from @zoya-writes: Pain, Gift, & Sigh.
Words from @thewritingace: Hope, Gentle, Dark, & Cold.
Words from @talesofsorrowandofruin: Pause, Survivor, Crystal, & Familiar.
Words from @dgwriteblr: Help, Old, Neck, & Honest
WIP: Corruption (This is a new WIP I just started and I’m not sure if I should share it or not as I’m sure it’s been done before)
Dark: Fabian found himself frozen. He’d never been this close to someone from the outside world before. He couldn’t help but notice the boys dark complexion and how different it was from his own and how the clothes he wore were tattered and dirty which was the farthest from what Fabian was currently wearing.
Honest:  Fabian shook his head, “Honestly…” He muttered and leaned his chin on his hand. How hard would it be to leave? After all there were only about fifty guards and a wall holding him back. He groaned and leaned back in his sitting chair. God, he hated the feeling of being trapped.
WIP: Dissociated (I only have a couple pages written of this so far)
Help:  She was supposed to be writing what she had done that day in her journal. Her therapist had said it might 'help' her remember things better. But that had been precisely the problem; She didn't fully remember what she did that day.
WIP: Broken Magic (As I’m writing this i’m kind of bouncing between timelines)
Cold:  The air was cold and the fireplace was blazing. It was the nineteenth of February, a day after Asher Rose’s fifth birthday.
Old: He sometimes walked by Kai’s old house and wondered what happened to him, wondered if whatever had happened was his fault and if he could’ve stopped it. It’d been a few months since Kai ‘disappeared’ and no words had been exchanged, not even the school mentioned anything about it. 
WIP: Rainy Grove (Yay first chapter is written)
Sigh:  After her phone call she peaked back in on her great grandpa where soft snores were still heard. She sighed in relief and took a seat once again. Why did her parents never take her with them? Why was she always the one that had to be left alone while they went on fun adventures to other continents doing who knows what.
Survivor: "There were very few survivors on the other side and they had fled, we tried to find them for so long but they were too well hidden and..." He yawned, "Don't ever trust a vampire..."  Ira heard the sounds of snores and looked over to see that he had fallen asleep again.
WIP: Rainclouds (This one’s been going on for a while)
Pain: She felt like she wanted to vomit and like her heart had broken all over again. It’s not like she should feel that way right? it shouldn’t hurt so much. Then why. Why was there so much pain?
Hope: Lucie gently wrapped her fist around the stone and closed her eyes. She didn’t know what she hoped to accomplish but the feeling of the stone in her hand somehow gave her a sense of comfort and familiarity. 
Gentle: Sylvia sighed and set out down the sidewalk, the gentle wind blowing in her face.  She knew the general direction that the school was in and walked that way though she wasn't entirely sure what the best way to go was.
Pause: “I…” Sylvia paused. Like? What did that even mean? Did she like anyone? Guys weren’t- she didn’t even pay attention to them, in fact she had actually been scared of them for a small portion of her life. But then why was she hesitating? Sylvia shook her head, “No.”
Crystal: She gently grabbed the chain and pulled it out, holding a necklace up. It was a simple chain, with a small white crystal hanging at the end. "Is this it?" She asked, dangling the chain in front of Lucie. 
Familiar: There was a knock on the door but it wasn't a normal knock it was a pattern that seemed completely unfamiliar.
Neck: "Hello," Sylvia greeted, crouching down to its level to scratch its chin. The cat's fur was wet and he wasn't wearing a collar, she felt along its neck but couldn't feel a chip anywhere. 
That’s all! Sorry for such a long post!
Tagging: @oasis-of-you @ecwrenn @euphoniouspandemonium @eliotlovesmae & @raenawrites 
Find the words: Desolate, Blurry, Fog, & Pearl.
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kerra-and-company · 3 years
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Please say something for Tanza!!! The prompt, but i also wanna know more about her 😂
Asdfalsdfadsf all righty! :D Thanks for the prompt @i-mybrunettelady!
So, I have a fic for the prompt under the cut, but first, let’s do some headcanons (see my intro post for Tanza here). Spoilers below, mainly for the Icebrood Saga:
- When she was about five years old, Tanza learned about ice cream for the first time, but she had no idea how it was made. Their mother Berit nearly died laughing when she came back from a hunt to find the kodan Claw gravely accepting a cup of literal ice from her child, who was excitedly telling him all they’d learned about ice cream and how much they hoped he’d like it.
- Her revenant abilities manifest as very light blue lightning instead of red. 
- The diamond marking on their chest (which most don’t see, as it’s hidden by her armor) comes from a botched Svanir ritual done on them as a baby. It was intended to produce a new champion for Jormag, but it only succeeded in embedding a small amount of their power into the intended host. When it failed, the Svanir who’d conducted the ritual couldn’t kill baby Tanza (a very tiny amount of a moral compass there), but she was a failure, and so they left her somewhere they were certain she’d die. Tanza doesn’t know about any of this, and they only figure out that they’re at all connected to Jormag in the later parts of the Icebrood Saga. She does not care for this whatsoever.
- In a world where Owl never sacrificed herself to stop Jormag, Tanza would never have joined the Vigil. They’d have become a havroun instead.
- She is pretty high up on the list of people who hate Ryland (which just keeps getting longer). There are a few reasons for this, but one of them is detailed in the fic below. The other big one is for what he does right after this.
Warnings: outside of Icebrood spoilers, pretty much nothing--shock, maybe?
They stared. They couldn’t stop staring. The Claw called their party to a halt, and the entire group took in their surroundings: a set of five ice blocks, each containing a single figure.
“Commander.” Tanza’s voice was coming out all wrong. It was too deep and too high-pitched at the same time. “What…have you seen this before?”
“In Lake Doric,” Kerra said, pain and anger evident in her tone. “But it was more widespread. Entire villages were Frozen. This…it looks like Ryland just Froze whoever tried to follow him.”
“Wait, whoever—” Tanza started.
A gold glint caught her eye, and she paused.
It was a small, worn pin in the shape of an owl, standing out starkly against the snow. The clasp was broken.
They’d found it when searching the Abattoir, years ago. They’d taken it with them after asking for permission, and they’d worn it until the day they left home.
She’d left it with her mothers.
Almost against her will, her eyes leapt up to scan the faces of the Frozen.
The farthest left—hazel eyes, freckles, hands scarred from fight after fight. Next to her—dark hair, dual swords, stars tattooed on her cheekbones.
“No.” Quiet, fierce.
They weren’t aware of stepping forward, but they felt themself moving.
“Lieutenant!” The Commander.
“Tanza!” Minei.
“Mom. Mama. Please say something,” Tanza whispered, reaching out a hand to touch the ice.
The mesmer, Kasmeer, got there first. She grabbed Tanza’s wrist just in time. It snapped them back to reality, and they shrugged off her grip, their hand dropping to their side. They wheeled around to face the Commander.
“Can we get them out?” she demanded.
“I’m sorry,” Kerra said, her face twisted like she’d just been stabbed. “We don’t know how, yet. But they’re not dead. I promise you that.”
Tanza made a noise deep in her throat. “Ryland Steelcatcher will pay for this. I’m going to kill him.”
Simultaneously, the Commander and Kasmeer said, “Get in line.” They looked at each other, and the Commander huffed out a dry laugh.
As Tanza reached down to pick up the pin, Kerra’s communicator crackled to life. “Commander?” Braham Eirsson. “Getting close to Song of Exile.”
“We’ll meet you on the way, Braham,” Kerra said. “Are you ready to go, Lieutenant?”
Tanza was not ready. Their head had started to hurt. Their heart was sore. They didn’t want to leave, but at the same time, they felt a pull from Owl to keep going, to move forward. She was needed.
And like hell she was leaving the group to face Jormag’s champion on their own.
In the end, all they could do was pin the owl to their jacket and say yes.
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nalgenewhore · 5 years
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evil woman - two
TW: Drug Use, Drug Abuse, Addiction, Cheating 
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It had been a couple weeks since Aelin’s birthday and Elide could count on one hand how many times she had been outside her apartment. 
She had opened the door for Rowan and that was only because he used his key and practically force fed her. 
Now he was aggressively washing dishes that he deemed too ‘dusty’, as she had only ordered takeout, not finding it in her to cook for herself. It just reminded her of how they used to spend evenings in his kitchen, far too happy and deliriously in love. Those were the good days, where he woke up with clear eyes and music flowing from his fingertips, the ones where he would pluck gentle melodies on the beat-up guitar he refused to give up, insisting that it was his lucky charm and had been there from the start. Elide would laugh and smile, tricking herself into thinking that this time it would last, this time would be the one where he realized that the other side of him was hurting her and would tell her that he was home forever. 
Those good days started slipping away from him and Elide spent her time hoping for another one. 
The bad days got worse and worse and became bad weeks, then bad months. He would stay out all night, would ignore her calls and texts, turned off his location. That old guitar went back in its case and shoved into a storage unit. His eyes became glazed with a cocktail of substances and Elide couldn’t remember the times she waited up with him, the times she stuck her fingers down his throat, how many times she held him as he sobbed, holding back her own tears as he shook and sweated on the tiled floor of their bathroom, the times she put up with the slew of nastiness he spewed everywhere. 
It shamed her. How long she had stayed, how long she had let her life go this way. 
That day she hopped on a plane to surprise him had been her last attempt at waiting for him. She told herself as she packed a bag, that if nothing changed, if he was still like that, she would leave that frozen montage her life had become and be able to breathe again. Be able to be happy. 
It was a blessing disguised as heartbreak. 
“Ro,” she said, “the dishes are clean.” 
“They aren’t.” 
“Yes they are, why can’t you just-” 
“Relax? Or be like you, lazy and uncaring?” His voice was harsh and cold and she didn’t know it would hurt this bad to have those words thrown at her. 
Elide raised her chin, staring down her nose at him, refusing to let him see the tears that threatened to well in her eyes. “Go home, Rowan.” 
Rowan’s icy fury cracked and a puff of air escaped his lips, “I- I didn’t mean that, Ellie, it wasn’t about you.” 
“Go home” she repeated, standing and walking past him to her room. Her door slammed shut behind her. 
Elide sat herself on the edge of the bed, looking down at her hands. She heard a shuffling noise and then Rowan’s voice, “I, I’m sorry, El. That wasn’t my place. There’s food in the fridge and I’ll call in the morning, alright? Bye.” She didn’t say anything, too stubborn to speak to him.
There was the sound of receding footsteps and then the door closed behind him. 
Elide let the tears slip down and after a moment or two, her sadness and desperation turned to white-hot anger. 
He had ruined everything. 
He wasn’t even around anymore and still, he was this huge shadow hanging over everybody’s head. He was the monster hiding in her closet, he was the demon that made her cower under her duvet. 
After her anger left her, she felt hollow and decided that she should probably eat something so she moved out to the kitchen, opening the fridge and finding it in herself to smile at the food Rowan had left, all of her favourites. 
She took a seran-wrap covered plate of pasta and threw the plastic into the trash, placing the pasta in the microwave and viciously stabbed her finger into the numbered buttons. Elide walked to her living room as the food was being heated, a note on the coffee table catching her eye. 
It had Rowan’s scratchy scrawl and she flipped it open, scanning the words. 
Ellie, 
I didn’t want to tell you, but L’s doing an interview tonight @ 7 with NTNS . It’s the first since the breakup, I’ll be watching so if you don’t end up doing so, I can tell you what happened. There’s food in the fridge and water in the jug. 
-R
A niggling voice told her not to watch it, to take her pasta and get back to bed, but enough was enough. 
She wouldn’t let him have this hold over her anymore. She’d told him he ruined her and now, now it was time to heal. 
Crumpling the note in her hand and letting it fall to the ground, she sat herself on the couch and picked up the remote, the channel already set to the show hosting the interview. 
Her breath hitched as the intro music played and Lorcan walked out across the stage, a smile, something completely unnatural and forced, splayed over his lips. Despite the lie he wore, he looked good, but then again, he’d looked good at Aelin’s and nearly every time she saw him before that. 
The audience cheered and clapped for him and it nearly made her see red. He did not deserve their applause, did not deserve their praise. 
She forced herself to breathe, This anger will only make it hurt more, breathe. 
Elide closed her eyes, imagining that she inhaled cold, blue air and exhaled hot, red air that took away her troubles. When she opened her eyes again and they focused on the TV, Lorcan was sitting in the chair, leaning back, his legs spread open. “Yeah, thanks, it’s good to be back,” he said. 
The host nodded and then his face grew grave, “Now, Lorcan, all of your fans, we’ve been wondering, how’s this past year been for you, after your break?” 
Elide saw the way his eyes shuttered, saw him shift like he was about to lie, but then, “Um, I’m not gonna lie to you guys, it’s been tough, really tough. I struggled a lot and I think it’s, ah, it’s starting to look up so…” 
“Well, that’s great, we’re all super happy for you, it’s been a rough-go lately, what with your ex and the cheating scandal-” 
“You know, that’s one of the reasons I wanted to come here tonight,” Lorcan interjected, running his hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his. Elide resented that she still knew his tics and habits. 
The host nodded, his face portraying slight surprise, “Of course, the floor’s all yours, Lorcan.” 
“So as you all know, my fiancée and I broke up about a year ago,” three-hundred and twenty seven days to be exact, “and there were a lot of rumours going around and they’re partly my fault because I didn’t deny any of the claims which led to people taking them as the truth.” He took a large breath, “They aren’t true. I was the one in the wrong, I was the unfaithful one, on multiple occasions, not the other way around. I hurt her, more than I’ve ever hurt another being, and she had had enough.” 
The audience and host gasped as Lorcan nodded, confirming the words he said. 
Elide was frozen on the spot, not able to move as he admitted everything, on live television, with thousands of viewers. The microwave beeped, but still, she could not move. 
Lorcan went on, “That moment of her leaving, I think that was really rock bottom for me. I’m ashamed that it took her reaching her breaking point for me to realize this mess that was my life. So,” he said, bobbing his head in a sort-of nodding manner but not quite, “I got sober and started to try and fix things.” 
“Oh, you guys are back together, that’s wonderful-”
Lorcan let out a harsh laugh, “Oh, gods, no. No, she’s not really the type of woman that gets her heart broken and comes crawling back,” he paused for a moment, “and I wouldn’t want her any other way.” 
The host tilted his head to the side, “Some might say it’s better to forgive and forget.” 
“Hm.” It was clear Lorcan did not agree and Elide had to stop herself from laughing. “It’s, it’s not as simple as that. It’s not a fairytale romance, it’s gritty and painful and she’s still hurting because of it. It wasn’t exactly easy for her either, this past year.” 
“Well, you know,” the host started, spreading his hands and Elide just knew she wouldn’t like what he was saying, “there is a risk in all relationships you enter, it’s not like you meant to hurt her. And she left you.” 
Lorcan frowned for a second, his hands curling into loose fists and she sat up, her eyes widening and she silently begged Hellas to control him, to not let his spitfire temper catch a spark. “I don’t really think that my intentions mattered because I did cause her pain, regardless of what I wanted to do. It’s not hard to leave when you’ve been driven out by your partner. The blame lies fully with me.” 
“Do you think there’s any hope for you two?” 
He sighed heavily, tilting his head to the side, “I-I don’t really know. I’ll always love her, but obviously, it’s not up to me. If it was, I would undo everything I did and we’d have never broken up.” 
“I think I can say for everyone here at NTSN and, I’m sure, our lovely viewers at home, we wish you the best of luck, Lorcan.” Elide hated the host’s voice, slick and oily. “Now, I know you had something you wanted to share with us, something about new music?” 
Lorcan nodded, “Yeah, ah, it was originally just a passion project I wrote in rehab and when I got out I played the song for my friend and she basically told me she would skin me alive if I didn’t write her an entire EP so here we are.” There was a grin tugging at his rosy lips, a twinkle of something playful in his eyes and Elide just knew the friend had been Aelin. 
That little spark in his dark eyes had her remembering, remembering everything good about them. How on rainy mornings when neither of them wanted to get up, he would hold her tightly against him or how they would stay in the shower until the water ran cold, too busy to notice when they were caught up in each other. Late at night, she would find him in the kitchen, shirtless as he made waffles or maybe French toast if he was feeling jumpy. Lazy afternoons spent basking in the sun and then he would jump up, his fingers itching to create something beautiful. 
He called her his muse, his inspiration. The only thing keeping him going, he told her. Everything, everything… was all for her. 
Blinking back tears, she focused back on the screen that showed the love of her life because despite herself, despite every single thing that had happened, that would never go away. A part of her soul would always be his. 
The audience was clapping as he was handed a guitar and spent a couple moments tuning it before he picked out a gentle, lovely, melody and sang. 
+*+*+*+*+*+*
Lorcan quelled the shaking in his hands as he passed the guitar off, offering a fake grin and nod to the cheering audience. They had eaten up the song, chanting Encore when he let the last note ring out and the cameras cut for a commercial break. An attendant came to grab the guitar he had never touched a day before in his life. It didn’t sound right, hadn’t sounded right any time he’d played it. 
Aelin, Fenrys, even Rowan, who hadn’t forgiven him, Rowan, who had crossed his arms and glowered at him every time they saw each other, told him it was perfect and that she would love it. But Lorcan knew it wouldn’t reach perfection until he played it on that beat up guitar, his and her initials carved into the neck, until she told him it was. 
“In five, four, three, two…” the lights came back on and he plastered that uncomfortable smile back on his lips, nodding as the audience cheered and the host praised him. 
“I’m going to have to say that may be my new favourite song of yours, that snippet you played was beautiful, just beautiful. Now, um, when you reached out to us for the interview, you told us you had some rather important news to share?” 
His heartbeat quickened and his hands became clammy. Lorcan nodded, swallowing past his tight throat. “Yes, I, ah, I wanted to share with you that this album will be my last. It’s been a journey and it’s time for me and my music to say goodbye.” 
The audience and host gasped theatrically, “Surely you’re not talking about retirement?”
“It’s been a long while since I’ve been home and I realized that everything I need was right where I was. I’ve been chasing something for a long time and I never knew what it was until I lost her. It’s time for me to say goodbye and let a new kid dazzle you all.” 
Forty-five minutes later, Lorcan was standing on his balcony, his forearms braced against the railing as he watched the busy streets of Orynth move. His hands shook and he wished for something, a drink or cigarette, anything to take the trembling away. He gritted his teeth and sipped from the glass of water next to him, hearing his phone blow up as it had been all night after his retirement announcement. 
His phone started ringing with a ringtone he didn’t remember so he picked it up, not recognizing the number calling him. He accepted the call and held it to his ear, “Hello?” 
“Hey. It’s... me.”
+*+*+*+*+*+*
im not even sorry 🤷‍♂️ thank u @westofmoon​ 4 helping me bounce ideas n stuff 💛💛💛 and @shyvioletcat​ for being my lovely lil beta again!! 
@myfeyrelady​ @kandasboi​ @schmlip-scribble​  @the-regal-warrior​ @westjades​ @empire-of-wildfire​ @rhysands-highlady​ @city-of-fae​ @shyvioletcat​ @alifletcher2012​ @tangledraysofsunshine​ @ttakeit @tswaney17​ @ourbooksuniverse​ @flora-and-fae​ @ella-enchanted27​ @noodlecatposts​ @cridhe-teine​ 
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talesmaniac89 · 4 years
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Choices - Sam Ending - 7
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New to Choices? Start Here
Pairing: Sam x Reader
Summary: Choices is an interactive Supernatural choose your own adventure story where your choices determine the outcome and whether it’s a Dean x Reader or Sam x Reader. Go to the intro to start your story now!
Triggers: Dark, hostage situation, reader death, pain, violence, blood, torture, angst, loss, blood, serious injuries, heartbreak, gore (series levels blood, torture and fatal injuries).
Choice: [You chose to try and get loose]
Y/N = Your Name | Y/H/C = Your Hair Colour
---
No. 
You had to get out of the chair before the Winchester brothers reached you. You refused to be used to hurt the two men that had already suffered enough for endless lifetimes. And for all you knew they could already be coming your way, following the sound of your not so gentle introduction to the smiling pictures on the wall. 
They must have heard it. Even if the gunshot was still ringing in their ears. 
You were a big girl. You could take care of yourself. After all, you wanted to stand shoulder to shoulder with Sam, not just be protected. Feeling the muscles in your shoulders and arms tense painfully from the way they were wrenched behind your back and tied to the chair you kept your eyes on the witch as you tried to get your hands free from the tight binding without alerting her. 
“I can think of a good few people that would pay good money for you girl… Even more so if I throw in the two other parts of the set bumbling around downstairs,” Clearly your wicked witch was less caught up in avenging the male witch whose life had most likely just been snuffed out downstairs and more focused on any possible gains for herself. 
God, you hated the industrious ones. They talked too much. 
“Those two ‘parts’ just killed your boyfriend bitch,” You spat back, hoping you could catch her off guard or shut her up by using what little knowledge you had about the pair. You didn’t know too much, but you knew they were somewhat of a Bonnie and Clyde duo, killing their way across the great US of A in some twisted way to prove their love. 
Yet, the witch clearly only had a hex bag where her heart should be as she shrugged off her lover boy’s death with a painted smirk. Taking another step closer to you, she pushed a carefully styled curl behind her ear, the way blue eyes focused on your arms, you knew you weren’t fooling anyone with your little attempt at getting loose unnoticed. But, fuck it, you weren’t going to stop trying.
“He died for a good cause… Me, “
You couldn’t stop the barked laugh that left you. Damn, industrious and a god complex, now you really wanted to shut her up. Permanently. You nearly felt sorry for her dead partner downstairs. Having to put up with that. 
“Well, then you better start thinking up what cause you’re dying for. And fast,” You spat instead, keeping your eyes on her as you let your anger radiate off your body in heavy waves. No way you’d let her think she’d won or feel even remotely safe. 
Copying her cocky smirk, you watched her take an unsteady step away from you. Even with you tied securely to a chair, your glare had the effect you wanted it to have. Earning you a few seconds of silence to focus and find a way out of this mess.
You couldn’t get your wrists loose, and she’d taken your weapon. You needed to improvise. Preferably when her legs were still shaky on those dangerously high heels. If you could knock her down you could take her, even if you were tied to a damned chair. 
Watching her carefully, you waited for the right moment. Waited to see that flash of a black heel lifting from the carpet just enough to leave her unbalanced and unsteady. Squaring your jaw, you let your shoulders tense as you watched and waited, until... There!
As soon as the moment arose you kicked your legs up, connecting with her stomach and knocking her off balance. Sending her stumbling back over the carpet. Just as soon as your booted feet connected with her stomach they were gone again, landing with a soft thud on the carpet as you lifted yourself awkwardly up, still tied to the chair. 
Taking a step forward and twisting, you used your chair as a battering ram. Knocking the witch to the floor as you gritted your teeth against the onslaught of pain through your bound wrists. Damn it, that stung like a son of a bitch. But you’d had worse. 
Not giving her time to get up or out of the way you quickly sat the chair down again. All your weight hitting the seat and travelling through the chair’s legs into the delicate wrist you’d pinned under it. The satisfying crack of bones and the agonised scream leaving the bitch below your chair more than made up for your own stinging wrists. 
Lifting your chair again, you were ready to aim for her other wrist. But clearly she was quicker on the uptake than you had planned for as she rolled out of the way and, using her unharmed hand, sent you flying across the room with a single word spell. 
Shit. 
You could do nothing to lessen the blow as you went flying across the room and hit the wall back first, your own wrists and shoulders taking the worst of the blow. Something was dislocated, and possibly broken, you noted. Squaring your jaw against the pain, you bit back a scream you wouldn’t give her the pleasure of hearing. 
Through the ringing in your ears you could hear Sam and Dean yell for you. 
The mix of the witch’s scream and your own violent assault against the bedroom wall easily clueing them into where you were. Yet, with the wind knocked out of your lungs and the searing pain shooting through your arms and chest you were too out of it to stop the words spilling out from behind the witch’s gritted teeth as she focused her power on the door. Effectively sealing the room and keeping the Winchesters out just as one of the guys ran into the door with a thud. 
“(Y/N)!” Sam’s voice was muffled but panicked through the wood as his fists hit the wood over and over again. But you didn’t have the breath yet to call out to him past a weak croaked cough. Your lack of a response only served to drive the hunter harder. The door shook violently on its hinges as he tried to force his way past the spell. 
Yet, the witch didn’t leave you with much time to focus on Sam and Dean’s desperate attempts at coming to your rescue. Blocking the shaking door once she stepped into view in front of you. She looked like a mess, a furious mess, but a mess all the same. Clutching her broken wrist close to her body, blue eyes ice cold with frozen fury and blood red lips curled back in a vicious sneer. 
“You bitch! You broke my arm, so I’ll break you,” Her words were guttural, and in complete contrast with the timeless, delicate outfit she was wearing as she nearly screamed them at you. 
Yeah, you were fucked. You couldn’t move, and you were still bound to the ruins of the chair. 
Before you could even consider finding a way out of it, you were moving again. Another flick off her uninjured wrist sending you flying up and away from the broken pieces of the chair, leaving you only tied to parts of the frame of it. Before flinging you against the ceiling and holding you there with a vicious smirk down at the broken pieces of wood on the floor below you. Barely giving you enough time to realise what she was doing before she let you fall down on the splintered wood and had them dig into your skin. 
“(Y/N)! Don’t you dare fucking hurt her!” Sam’s words reached your ears just as new fresh waves of pain flowed over you. But you didn’t have time to answer him.
Hell, you barely had time for a strangled gasp before her hand was in your (Y/H/C) hair, fisting it and pulling it up. Hard. Squaring your jaw, you let your teeth grind against each other to stop from crying out at the stinging pain of your scalp. Spitting out the blood that had pooled in your mouth from the cut on your lip straight in her smirking face. 
“Hair pulling isn't one of my kinks. And even if it was, you’re so not my type,” You croaked. You knew you didn’t sound even a little bit threatening, and that your words would only serve to piss her off more. But fuck it, you weren’t going to give her the pleasure of thinking she’d broken you. 
“Then I guess I’ll have to bring out the big guns, won’t I?” The sickening glint in her eyes only had you feeling nauseous for a split second before her spell connected with your head, travelling through strands of (Y/H/C) hair and into your skull to echo and expand. 
The screeching sound was so loud, and it hurt. You wanted to cover your ears, but your wrists were still tied behind your back as you screamed out in pain. You couldn’t hear Sam or Dean; you couldn’t even see anything past the black spots in front of your eyes. It sounded like someone was drilling directly into your skull and it wasn’t stopping. It was only growing stronger and louder as you choked on your screams and tried to force your broken body into a little ball. 
You could feel something warm and wet at your ears. Whatever the spell was, it was making your ears bleed as you fought against the screeching sound and painful vibrations echoing in your head.
“Fuck. You!” You managed to force the words out between one scream and the next. Your own stubbornness unable to control your tongue as your words only egged the witch on, sending new waves of painfully high frequencies into your skull.
Your vision was blurry, and you couldn’t focus on anything but the pain coursing through your veins. The world around you, going black just as you watched blood red lips shape words you couldn’t hear. 
---
You didn’t know how long the sounds had been going for. But your throat was raw and burning around wordless screams. You didn’t have any voice left to scream with as the witch kept scrambling your mind and sending new shots of pain through your skull. Only stopping to slap you awake when you fainted or to send you flying against the wall and cutting into you with more broken pieces of wood. 
But suddenly, just as quickly as it had started, the screeching in your head was gone. The sudden shift in volume leaving your ears ringing as you looked up at her. Spitting out blood and gritting your teeth for another manicured palm across your face. But it never came. 
The witch was turned away from you and towards the door. 
As the real world started bleeding in through the onslaught of pain you heard Dean and Sam’s yells and watched as the door finally shook off its hinges, exploding open in a burst of wood and bullets. 
Sam. 
Your eyes were focused on the hunter in front of you, his eyes panicked and pained as they locked with yours across the room. So, you missed how the witch turned back towards you, her arm raised and palm flat. 
“Touch her again and I’ll kill you!” Sam’s angry shout was the first words you’d heard in an awfully long time, or at least it seemed like a long time. You’d been in pain for so long that time had stopped meaning anything. 
But as the words left Sam, the spell left the witch, sending broken pieces of wood flying towards you just as the sound of the gunshot echoed through your mind. Sending fresh waves of pain through your skull just as the broken wooden leg of the chair pierced through the flesh of your heaving stomach. Leaving you effectively nailed to the white wall.
Crying out in pain, you once more tried to get your hands to move. To pull the wood out of your stomach as you gasped for breath. Excruciating agony was flooding your veins, burning them to a crisp as you choked around copper blood and salty tears you hadn’t noticed you were crying. 
“No!” Watching through tear blurred eyes you saw Sam drop the gun in his hands as he ran to you, sliding to his knees onto the mess of rubble you were in the middle of. Hazel eyes dark in pain and panic as big hands shook, looking from the wood through your stomach and up to your unfocused eyes.
“What do I do? Dean! What do I do?!?!” His fingers brushed against the wooden leg and you gasped in pain. The involuntary whimper that left you dimming the light in his eyes even more as they lifted to connect with yours again. The ray of light you normally found in his eyes sputtering out as he watched you. There was no longer sunshine, just the last flickering flames of a broken candle.
“I know it hurts… I’m sorry,” Sam’s breathing was ragged and raw as he moved a shaking hand up to wipe feebly at the tears staining your bloodied cheeks. The hunter not moving out of the way as Dean slid down next to him, your best friend taking your limp hand in his as he muttered curses under his breath. 
“I’m sorry I failed you. I’m so sorry. I should have been there. I…” Sam was rambling, panicking. Too terrified to think straight. Your injuries had to be bad, you noted. He looked so heartbroken, so lost. Of course, you could feel the pain. Your world was nothing but pain now. But the broken look in hazel eyes still solidified it more than the waves of torment washing over you and pushing your life out of your body. 
He was blaming himself. You couldn’t let him blame himself. 
“Sam…” You winced as the word made pain flare up from where you were pinned to the wall. Coughing and gasping through the new shots of pain, you weakly squeezed Dean’s hand as your blurry eyes focused on Sam’s heartbroken features. 
“I’m sorry I can’t come home to you…” Your broken voice was barely even loud enough to count as a whisper, but you couldn’t let the pain win. Not before you got your words out. And so, you forced the small tendrils of life left to you to hold on, just for a little while longer as your words left you. 
“No no no… (Y/N)...” Sam’s voice was growing in volume where yours was falling short of being anything more than a breath. His trembling hands fidgeting in the air around you, yet not finding any place to land, anywhere to soothe better without hurting you more.
“You can’t leave me… I can’t keep going without you,” The man who held your slowly fading heart let his forehead fall against yours, pleading with what little life was left in your dull eyes. Sunshine eyes clouded with unshed tears, like two heavy summer storms, but you saw the truth behind his words in them. And that hurt you more than dying did. You were abandoning him, though you’d promised you never would. 
“Don’t say that, please. You deserve love Sam… You deserve the world. You were my happiness, my home,” Gritting your teeth you forced yourself to focus, pushing out the words though your sentence ended in a weak coughing fit and the taste of blood on your tongue. 
“No (Y/N)... You’ll get through this, you hear me?”
You didn’t have the energy to answer as you gave Sam a shaky smile. You were so tired. You couldn’t even feel the heat off of Sam’s forehead where he leaned his against yours. You were just so cold.
“Don’t you close your eyes on me. Don’t go to sleep now. You’ll be fine. You have to be fine,”
Sam’s voice sounded hollow and far away though you knew he was right there, right in front of you. You wanted to go back to him. You’d promised to never leave him. But your body wouldn’t listen. Your eyelids were just too heavy. You were just so tired, and you needed to rest. 
Just for a little while. 
“Hey… (Y/N)!” The last thing you heard was your own name. Spoken as a broken plea just before the darkness won and pulled you under, into painless nothingness. 
Leaving behind a shattered man and a broken promise.
---
You reached the end - You got Ending 7: Sam: Casualties - Bad Ending
[Click here to return to the start and try again]
[Alternatively, click here for the full masterlist breaking down each path] Note that choices are named so it may spoil the experience.
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Please tell me which ending you got in a message, comment, ask or through a reblog. This took a lot of time to make, and I want to hear from you guys, and see if you enjoyed it. That way I’ll know if I should make more as well as know which parts you enjoyed/where I can improve them. 
I already have some ideas for some other ones; an undercover office based one that’s fluff vs. smut… Plus another hunt based one with TFW. But I won’t start them if it doesn’t seem like there’s any demand for them.
You can also tell me which ending you got by clicking here to answer my poll.
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pertinax--loculos · 4 years
Text
Character Study: Jay (1)
[Quite note for CW -- vague reference to drug use.]
1. Intro My name is Jay Johns, though my parents would probably deny it. Oh no, they’d say, that’s not our boy. Must be another Johns, y’know I hear there’s another family with that name out north.
Don’t get me wrong, they love me to death. That’s their mistake.
People would probably look at my life and go, oh my gosh, where did they go wrong? Or, what happened to him to make him like this? The trouble is, nothing happened. This isn’t a product of trauma or a horrible home life or whatever else. No funny uncles. No ridiculously strict parents making me rebel. No reason.
Just… boredom, I guess.
Technically speaking I suppose it can be traced to an injury I sustained when I was fourteen, but don’t read anything into that. Truth be told I was being a moron, thinking I could balance on a ledge I shouldn’t have been trying to balance on and, surprise surprise, I fell. Nothing insidious about it.
Same can’t be said for the panadeine forte I was prescribed for the broken collarbone, though.
Stuff’s fairly well regulated if you don’t need it, and doctors weren’t particularly keen to prescribe it to a teenager more than once. So I outsourced. Knew a guy who knew a guy, you know how it is. Except turns out the guy on the end was kinda tangled up in some heavier stuff. And at fifteen I didn’t exactly have disposable income.
So I had to do a few odd jobs to get the next fix. But, like, who the fuck cares. No big deal. Flow like mine, didn’t really matter what they asked me to do; it was always get in, do the job, get out.
Y’know talk about, like, a self-fulfilling prophecy? Where you do a thing in order to get the result but the result makes you do the thing again, and so ad infinitum?
Yeah. Given my… aptitude for certain jobs, I suddenly started getting only those. And those morphed into Jobs, capital J, which I didn’t regret so much as want to erase from my memory which was facilitated by, you guessed it, more opioids. And so on and so forth.
Dunno why I decided to get clean – well, that’s a lie, the decision was taken out of my hands, essentially – but I was way too entrenched by then to get out. Knew too much about the operations, the players, the secrets.
Plus, y’know, it was easier. And the pay was almost worth the nightmares.
Almost.
So, yeah. Take the Jay Johns of today and describe him to my parents, and they’d marvel at the coincidence of some amoral gangster having the same name as their beloved golden child. The one who’s off working as an engineer a few hundred clicks south – no, haven’t heard from him lately, but you know how it is, they get to be adults and forget about their dear old parents. And, I mean, I could disabuse them of that notion, sure.
But I don’t wanna break their hearts. They deserve better than that.
They deserve better than me.
2. Family Jay had a very specific memory he wanted to preserve of the last time he’d seen his parents. They’d been so very proud, and through the guilt that threatened to strangle him they’d had an exceptionally pleasant day, culminating with a barbeque in the backyard, warm summer evening heavy with the buzz of dragonflies reminiscent of his very favourite recollections from childhood. If he closed his eyes he could still see his mother’s beaming face as he told her about the job offer; could still see his father’s gruff pride, hidden behind layers of learned reserve but shining through his eyes regardless. He could still taste the tang of lemon in his mother’s specialty cheesecake on his tongue.
Right now all he could taste was blood, and he wondered if that was why it had taken him so long to place the figures wandering past the end of the alley.
Markus had frozen as soon as they’d come into view, his fingers still wrapped around Jay’s wrist, and it took Jay a half-second too long to clap his free hand over his mouth. The sound that escaped was truncated but hellishly loud.
The figures hesitated; the shorter, wider one swivelled towards the alley.
“Did you hear that?”
Her voice was more curious than apprehensive, and Jay was nearly certain being stabbed in the chest would be less painful than hearing that warm, comforting tone juxtaposed with the tiny, pleading whimpers rising in Markus’s throat. The hold around Jay’s wrist tightened and Markus squirmed a little.
Without looking away from the mouth of the alley Jay uncovered Markus’s mouth and instead buried his fingers in his hair, twisting savagely. It elicited another whimper, but at least he stopped moving.
“I didn’t hear anything,” Jay heard his father say, even as the two of them took a couple of steps forward, into the darkness and squalor. “What was it?”
Jay’s jaw was aching – he hadn’t even realised he’d clenched his teeth – and his grip on Markus was white-knuckled, less due to concern the dumb fuck was going to move and more to keep his hands from shaking. His breath was roaring in his ears and there was an uncomfortable scrabbling inside his chest, some sharp-clawed animal desperate to get out.
“It sounded like someone in trouble,” his mother said, alert and worried and good god for once in your life don’t be a fucking good Samaritan.
The only advantage Jay had was the light; he’d chosen to ambush Markus in this alley for a reason, it being one of the few he knew that completely lacked any illumination. It was stupid enough for Markus, a young man experienced with the unsavoury elements of the city, to try to cut through. Surely an older couple wouldn’t risk it. Plus, motionless as he was, Jay was nearly certain that his parents couldn’t make out whether or not there was actually someone down there.
Anxiety was an iron band around his chest. He couldn’t breathe.
His mother stopped.
“It was probably just a cat,” his father said. “I read somewhere that they’ve actually evolved to mimic the cries of human babies. Which, as far as I’m concerned, is just another strike against them.”
His mother chuckled, though she continued to peer into the gloom. “I guess it could’ve been. It just sounded so…”
There was a pause that stretched interminable. Jay twitched the hand knotted in Markus’s hair, a silent warning not to try anything stupid.
“… tormented,” his mother finished finally. Then she shrugged and turned, making her way back to the street. “I must have been imagining things.”
Their voices faded as they walked away, and Jay sucked in a deep breath. It felt like he was choking on it.
“Johns,” Markus gasped, twitching in his grip. “Please. I’m not—I get it, okay? I understand. You don’t have to—”
Jay hauled him up and around, slamming him against the wall of the alley. Markus’s cry of pain was so breathless it was nearly inaudible.
“Unfortunately, Markus,” Jay said, his voice light and even and betraying none of the shame surging so strong inside of him he felt like he was drowning, “My colleagues see it differently.”
“Johns—”
“I like that word. Tormented.” Jay twisted his left hand. He felt the familiar tingle of the Orn between his fingers, and then the just-as-familiar weight of his knife in his palm; Markus’s eyes widened when it shimmered into being in the physical world, a low keen breaking out of his throat. Some tiny part of Jay cringed at the noise, at the fear in his eyes, but he refused to acknowledge it. Instead he just cocked his head a little, letting the detached smirk settle on his lips. “Let’s see just how tormented you can sound.”
3. Friends “It’s not like you have to screw him,” Cassidy said matter-of-factly, crunching another couple of almonds between her teeth. “I’m just asking if you like the guy.”
Jay raised an eyebrow, very purposefully continuing to stare down at the book spread out over his lap. “Keyword being guy, Cass. Who says I even swing that way?”
They were spread out on his bed, ostensibly doing homework, although Cassidy had abandoned that pretence nearly half an hour ago in favour of interrogating Jay on his nonexistent love life. The fact Jay still had his books open was more to provide him with an excuse not to look at her than any real attempt at finishing his math assignment.
Cassidy waved a hand expansively, blowing her fringe out of her eyes. “Jay. There is no need to pretend in here. I know you.”
“Wait,” Jay said, glancing up briefly enough that he hoped she wouldn’t notice the blood he could feel warming his cheeks, “Are you assuming I’m gay because I’m not into you?”
“Well, I mean, that would be a fair assumption, because I’m hot as hell,” Cassidy said, her grin wide enough that Jay could hear it in her voice. “But one, you have never actually said you’re not into me, and two, I never said you were gay. I was simply asking if you liked a guy. Singular.”
“For the record,” Jay said, turning a page in his textbook. He hadn’t actually absorbed anything on the preceding page, but hell if he was gonna give up the ruse now. “I am not into you.”
Cassidy sighed theatrically. “Oh gee, well there go all my hopes and dreams. Whatever will I do now, how will I overcome this devastation.”
It was getting difficult to keep his face straight, but Jay was fairly sure he managed it. “I’m sure you’ll find the strength to carry on.”
“Mayhaps!” Cassidy clapped a hand to her chest and fell backwards on the bed with a wail. “Or perhaps this broken heart will be the end of me!”
“Could you at least die quietly?”
Jay jumped when her hand landed in the centre of the page he was looking at.
“Never,” Cassidy said. “Or at least not until you answer the question.”
“You mean how on earth you will carry on knowing that I’ll never be your boyfriend?” Jay glanced up to throw her a smirk, and Cassidy jabbed a finger at him.
“No, whether or not you like Johnny Davis. Come on, Jay. I’ve seen the way you look at him.”
Jay couldn’t stop himself; this time he jerked his head up to stare at her, feeling horror unfurl across his face. Any hope of hiding his blush was gone, his cheeks flaming as he processed what she was saying. “I’m not—”
Cassidy’s teasing veneer vanished and she scooted close enough to rest a hand on his arm. Jay dropped his eyes. “Relax, darl,” she said softly. “It’s not obvious at all. Like I said, it’s because I know you.” She ducked her head, and Jay let her catch his gaze again. Her face was warm, made even more comforting by the tiny crinkles extending outwards from the corners of her eyes as she smiled; not that Jay would ever tell her that. She’d probably end up in a back alley getting illegal botox if he so much as suggested she had anything remotely resembling wrinkles.
“I’m not trying to be a bitch,” she added.
“No, that just comes to you naturally,” Jay said without thinking.
For a beat Cassidy just stared at him, before she roared with laughter, swatting at his arm. Jay grinned as well, raking his fingers through his hair as he waited for her to calm down.
“Nice one,” Cassidy said eventually, still snickering. “I’ve gotta remember that. Man,” – she swiped her hand across her face – “What was I saying?”
The smile wouldn’t shift from Jay’s face, and he met her eyes as he said, “The answer’s yes. As in yeah, I like Johnny Davis.”
The admission was more than worth the grin that practically split her face in two.
4. Education/Mentors Friday was the Big Day.
Mrs. Phillips had told them all about it, had explained how important it was and how they weren’t allowed to muck about in the waiting area or they would be sent to the principal’s office. Jay thought it was all a bit of a hullabaloo. After all, the Orn was just a fact of life. Why did it need to be measured?
Mum and Dad had told him that he should be very careful when he was taking the Test. But that didn’t make sense either. They’d talked about all sorts of stuff and Jay had stopped listening pretty quickly. After all, Mrs. Phillips had told them that there was no way they could fail the Test. It was just to get an idea of where they were at.
Like with their reading. That was a Test, too. Normally it was done when the rest of the class was working on their handwriting, so they were real quiet. You waited until your name was called, and then you went up to the teacher’s desk – all by yourself, so that the other students couldn’t hear you in case you made a mistake – and you read through the list. It was a very long list, and it started with super basic words like ‘at’ and ‘the’ and then by the time Jay started stumbling he was up to words like ‘pneumonia’ and ‘rendezvous’.
Mrs. Phillips had been very impressed with how good he was at his reading. So why shouldn’t he try to impress these teachers too? Just because he didn’t know them didn’t mean he should pretend.
And it wasn’t like Dwayne’s parents had told him the same thing. Jay knew, because they’d been discussing it for the last forever while they waited for their names to be called.
That was kinda why they were friends, because Cass was in Mr. Allen’s class this year and Dwayne’s last name was Jacobson so he and Jay always got to sit together. And if they were real careful and talked real quiet Mrs. Phillips didn’t seem to notice.
“But, see, like, there’s different, like, levels,” Dwayne said, leaning sideways as he kept one eye on the door their classmates kept disappearing through. “Y’know how I can do different things to most everyone else?”
Jay nodded, as wisely as he could. “Yeah, that makes sense.”
“So that’s what this is for. Mum calls it a attitude test, so that they can get an idea of what sorta connection to the Orn you have and then they can teach you the right way to handle it.”
They paused as Gary came back out of the door, and Mrs. Phillips whispered to the man who came with him. Then she nodded and ushered Gary back over to the other side of the room as the man glanced down at a paper and called, “Carrie Harvey?”
Jay watched Carrie disappear through the door and then said, “So your parents didn’t say, like, some people get taken away after the attitude test?”
Dwayne frowned, deep furrows appearing in his forehead. “No. Why would they? They just wanna know what we can do.” He straightened a little, smiling instead of frowning now. “And they reckon that the testers’ll be real impressed with me.”
“Well, yeah,” Jay said, like he was saying well, duh. “You’ve gotta be the best at it out of all of us.”
Which was annoying, really, but Mum and Dad had been very very clear about Jay not showing off. It would get him into trouble, they said, and Mum and Dad were normally right. But this wasn’t showing off, was it? This was just showing the special teachers what he could do.
Carrie came back, Mrs. Phillips whispered to the man, and Carrie took her seat on the other side of the room.
“Dwayne Jacobson,” the man called.
Dwayne sent Jay a nervous sort of smile, and Jay gave him two thumbs up.
Without Dwayne there to talk to the time seemed to drag even more. Or maybe they were actually taking longer to test Dwayne. Jay didn’t want to look at the clock, because every time he did the second hand seemed to freeze into place.
When the door opened this time, the man and a woman stepped out with Dwayne.
Mrs. Phillips hurried up to them, quicker than she had been walking. Jay watched carefully as they talked, trying to look around Mrs. Phillips to see Dwayne’s face, to get an idea of whether he thought he’d done well or not. But try as he might, he couldn’t get a good look.
After a few more seconds of whispering, Mrs. Phillips nodded and stepped back. But instead of ushering Dwayne to the other side of the room, she just nodded at the strange woman, and the strange woman took Dwayne’s hand and led him through the side door.
Jay stared, waiting, waiting for them to come back. Maybe Dwayne had just really needed to go pee. But Mrs. Phillips had walked back to her chair and sat down. She didn’t seem to be waiting for Dwayne to come back.
Jay felt like his chest was about to burst. Heat raced up into his eyes and he tried not to sniffle as he swiped at it. He was not gonna cry. Not in front of everybody.
But he could suddenly hear Mum’s words, real clear.
You’ve gotta be careful, Jay. Promise me, alright? Promise me you’ll be careful.
“Jay Johns,” the man called.
Jay swiped at his eyes one more time, and then pushed himself to his feet. He held his chin up as he walked across the room.
He was gonna be careful. Even if it meant he didn’t show them everything.
He wasn’t gonna give them a reason to take him away.
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kaitycole · 5 years
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A Year After - Morgan
Summary: What happens in the 365 days since Morgan left Sweetridge for her dream job in Boston.
Word Count: 2510
Pairing: Morgan (F) x Sawyer (past tense) Morgan x ???
Rating: PG-13, there’s smut but it’s pretty tamed
Tag List: @desiree---1986​ @kacie-0156​ @shakespeareanwannabe​
A/N: This is the first out of two parts for this. The second piece will be Sawyer’s year after Morgan leaves Sweetridge.
P.S. This is prior to me reading Book Two as well as a modified ending to Book One.
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“I….”
“Seriously? Did everything that’s happened the last few weeks mean so little to you?”
“No! Sawyer, I couldn’t say goodbye because the last few weeks have meant everything to me! All last night, I kept trying to find the right moment to tell you, but every time…I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
Sawyer shakes his head repeatedly, “I just don’t believe it. You could’ve said something when we snuck off, before we…we…”
He doesn’t finish his statement, he just turns away from her, hopping back up on his horse.
“Sawyer…”
“Hope that job gives you everything you want, Morgan.”
She watches as he taps the horse’s side, causing his horse to start walking back up to the ranch. Getting back in the car, she looks back at the Oakley’s, Cliff patting his son’s shoulder as he walks into the house.
I’m doing the right thing, right? This is what I’ve been working towards for years.
“Alright Spike, let’s go.” She looks over to at the cactus, but for some reason she gets the feeling that if it could, it would give her a disapproving look.
Fall
Morgan has settled into a quick-paced and comfortable routine at The Weekly. Spending those few weeks in Montana really helped her grow and she’s a force to be reckoned with now. Well, more of a force.
“Morgan, we’re heading out for drinks, wanna join us?” Adam asks her. Every other Friday night, Adam, Lucy and Dan all go out to blow off some steam and each time, she’s told them no.
When she first got to Boston, her heart was still broken over how her and Sawyer left things. She didn’t want to go out when she could just bury herself in work to feel better.
“C’mon, we know you already have your article written and submitted. It’ll be fun, I swear!”
Lucy was right, technically Morgan had her article finished yesterday and she was already starting the research on her next one. Plus, it wasn’t like she had anyone waiting on her back home, Spike pretty much took care of himself. She looks at her phone, one more time, seeing zero notifications before shrugging.
“Okay, I’m in!”
The group of co-workers cheer as Morgan grabs her coat and they all pile out into the chilly Boston streets and head to the bar.
“Wait, you met a real-life cowboy?”
“Yup,” she tosses back another shot. Morgan hardly drank, but since leaving Sweetridge, it became a more frequent habit.
“And you left his sexy self behind!” Dan practically shrieks and dramatically fans himself.
Lucy rolls her eyes, “Okay drama queen, chill.”
Morgan gives the group a straight smile, “Sexy or not, this was and is my dream job. I couldn’t pass that up. Even for a rodeo riding’ cowboy.”
“He could ride –”
“Do NOT finish that sentence, Dan.” Lucy cuts him off, causing the whole group to bursts into laughter.
Winter
“I’m pleased to announce that the promotion is going to Morgan Garrity.”
The office erupts into cheers as Morgan turns bright red. At the end of the day, her friends have thrown together a small celebration.
“There she is! Ms. Fancy pants!” Adam hoots as she walks in, smiling.
“Aww. Guys! You’re the best!” She hugs each of them before picking up a flute of champagne, sipping it.
“The best deserves the best,” Lucy winks.
“So, how are we going to finish out the night? Should we go to Whisky Saigon or Tunnel?” Dan suggests.
“We always go to Tunnel, why not try out Royale?” Lucy retorts.
“It’s Morgan’s night.” Adam turns to her, “What do you want to do?”
“Oh uhm,” she looks at the clock, “I was planning on going home and watching Smalltown, USA.”
“The show that documents a small unknown town in America? Why would you…ohhhhh!” Dan gives her a knowing look.
Her face burns red, “I don’t know what that look is for.”
“Mr. Sexy cowboy’s town’s on tonight, is it!?” Dan jumps up and down, “Change of plans, TV premiere at Morgan’s!”
“Yes! We can get box wine and popcorn on the way! Let’s go!” Lucy says as they all begin to pile out of the office and into the parking lot.
“Is it too much to ask for a night in alone?” She says with a snort.
“We could break in your new desk if you want,” Adam winks, pulling Morgan closer to him before his lips meet hers. She lets herself melt into him, this was a new fling. Her first fling since Sawyer, well, was that a fling? Whatever it was, she knew she couldn’t harbor those feelings forever.
“Dan and Lucy could walk in. Let’s go.” She grabs her coat and scarf before pulling him along.
About an hour later, the four are sitting in Morgan’s apartment; Lucy and Morgan are both curled up on the couch while Adam sits in the chair next to Morgan and Dan is sitting on the floor in front of the girls.
Morgan feels her stomach flop as the intro music begins to play, regretting her idea of not only watching it with friends, but in general. She turns to Adam who brushes his fingers against her knuckles causing her to blush.
“On this episode of Smalltown, USA we’re are going to Big Sky Country. That’s right we will be in Montana, a little town known as Sweetridge.”
“Whoooo!” Dan chants, clearly having a good time.
The episode shows footage of the small town, capturing iconic shots of Asha’s general store along with both the Mendoza’s and Oakley’s ranches.
It’s so beautiful!” Lucy squeals, staring at the breath-taking scenery.
Morgan sucks in a quick breath and feels her body completely freezes when she sees him. At first, it’s from behind, but his black hat is a dead giveaway. He’s on Dolly, he’s rounding up the cows as the cameraman zooms in, his face plasters the TV screen. There he was. Sawyer Oakley. Spanning out across her 55” flat screen.
“Pinch me! I must be dreaming. He is smokin’!” Dan says causing Lucy to pantomime fanning him. He looks over at Morgan who is still frozen.
“No way, Morgs.” She turns to him, “That’s him, isn’t it? That’s Mr. Sexy Cowboy!” Dan doesn’t need her to answer, he can tell by her reaction alone.
“Uhm…yeah…that’s him.” She turns back to the screen before sneaking a side glance at Adam who isn’t too pleased with the revelation.
The episode continues along with Dan’s crude cowboy puns. Morgan sees each of her friends, realizing just how much she’s been missing them. She feels her cheeks turn bright red when the camera then pans over to Sawyer. A shirtless Sawyer carrying a crate of what she assumed was Mendoza bourbon. She feels jealous rage when she watches Juliette wrap her hands around his upper arm.
“I’m sorry Morgs, but I’m totes judging you for leaving. If that was me, you wouldn’t be able to pry me out of his arms. Look at those muscles. My gawd!” Dan exclaims.
“It’s getting late, I’m going to head home.” Adam doesn’t wait for goodbyes before walking right out of her apartment.
“What’s up with him?” Lucy says.
“I’ll go check, be right back,” Morgan steps over Dan and rushes out of the door, catching Adam at the elevator.
“Adam. What was that about?”
“I figured I was a rebound, but you could’ve told me that we looked alike.” He shakes his head, “That why you picked me? Easier for you to think of him?”
“Adam, stop. That’s not true at all.”
“You’re not even over him, are you? I saw your face.” The elevator dings and opens as he steps in, “You need to figure out what you want.”
*                      *
It wasn’t until everyone had left that night and she was lying in bed, did reality finally hit her. Everything that she’d been trying to shove down, immediately came up when she saw him. She starts sobbing, clinging to her pillow as if it was him.
She knew Adam was right.  She wasn’t over Sawyer. And she’d be lying if she said she never saw the resemblance between the two of them.
I can’t just go back, can I? Just show up and ask for my job back? For him back? My  friends back?
Spring
She wakes up before he does, allowing herself to get lost in her thoughts before her day begins. Looking over at him, she feels her heart heavy, the sinking feeling that she’s tried to push down just fills her entirely. It’s been months since she left, just a few shy of a year, but she couldn’t understand why things still lingered.
Cause when I'm with him
                                   I am thinking of you                                                                        Thinking of you
“Well good morning,” he props himself up on one arm before pulling her down to him. He pulls her into a deep kiss while pushing himself on top of her. His lips slowly trail down her neck. She knew it was Adam. Kissing her, holding her, causing pleasure to ripple through her. But that didn’t stop her from letting herself imagine that it was the man who still had her heart.
He kissed my lips
                       I taste your mouth
                                               He pulled me in
                                                                       I was disgusted with myself
He lets out a soft groan in response to her moaning, his hands explore her bare skin as he pushes himself into her. She buries her face in the curve of his neck, gently biting down to conceal a scream.
It’s not long before she’s ready to stop fighting and let the pleasure wash over her. She can feel him getting close before moaning out his name.
“Sawyer…”
“Nice. Really nice Morgan,” Adam grumbles as he snatches his clothes off of the floor.
“A…Adam, I’m so sorry!” She tries to get him to stop, but he’s already half-dressed and looking for his keys.
“I don’t know why I did that.” He finally stops and looks at her.
“You aren’t over him. I told you to figure it out. I’m done.”
She sinks back onto the bed before she hears him slam the door behind him. She knew he was right, she couldn’t keep pushing it down.
*                      *
The last couple days at work were awkward and full of tension. Not only was Adam not speaking to her, Lucy and Dan weren’t exactly fans of her. When everything went down with Adam, he of course called up Dan to talk it out who then called Lucy. Let’s just say they weren’t too thrilled to learn about the short affair or her lingering feelings for Sawyer secondhand.
Not to mention the fact all of her inner conflicts were starting to come through into her work. She had been called into her boss’ office twice already over sources not being fully vetted as well as missing deadlines.
This went from being her dream job to just being a job. A place where for nine plus hours a day, she felt suffocated. Truly longing for the freedom Montana gave her all those months ago.
It was another silent day, Lucy and Dan gave a small wave and smile, but that’s all she got from them nowadays. It didn’t help that a lot of that was her fault. They had tried several times to get her to go out with them, sometimes with Adam, but most times without him, but she kept them at a distance.
She’s flipping through her photographs when she finds the one of everyone from their hike.
“I quit.” She announces.
“What did she just say?” Lucy asks Dan who just shrugs.
Her boss comes walking out of his office and she runs up to him, “I quit.”
“What?”
“I gotta get out of here. I quit.” She quickly shoves the few things on her desk that she wants to keep before practically running out the door.
“Go get that cowboy!” Dan yells behind her.
Summer
“I know what you’re thinking,” she looks over at the cactus sitting in her passenger’s seat, “I should’ve taken a plane this time. Or maybe called someone as a heads up. But I couldn’t let anyone stop me. I had to do this, Spike.”
The cactus sits there, silently, because it’s a cactus.
“You know, I think this is where we broke down last time.” Morgan looks around trying to see if she’s getting any closer.
Suddenly, she slams on her breaks, veering to the side to dodge a stray pair of cows walking in the road.
“MoOoOooO!!” The cow appears angry.
Catching her breath, Morgan fans herself; the commotion caused her to break out in a thin layer of sweat.
“Bessie!” She hears a familiar voice shout at the cow, who is now eating grass in the field across from where she came from.
A smile plasters on her face when she sees Dallas and Curly rushing over her way. Without hesitation, she jumps out of her car and waits. Curly notices her first.
“No way! I knew you’d come back!” His delighted squeals cause Dallas to look her way.
He doesn’t say anything and she can’t get a good read on him either. Before she could tell by a subtle smirk but he was reading blank.
“What brings you back!?! How’s your job? We have so much to catch up on!”
The pair watches as Dallas ropes Bessie and begins walking her back, still not saying anything to Morgan.
“Guess I deserve the silent treatment.”
“He’s always a grouch. Put’s Oscar to shame. Now come on, let���s go see everyone!”
She puts on a brave face, refusing to let herself look like the basket of nerves she is. This was it, the moment to know if she’d made a huge mistake or if this was the beginning of a great adventure.
“Ready?? Curly exclaims as they come up on the group.
Before she can answer, she sees Sayer helping a woman off a horse. A really beautiful blonde woman off a horse. She feels her chest constrict as he places his hand on her lower back, as that woman flashes him a flirtatious smile and as his cheeks turn red.
He says something to her, she tosses her head backwards with a laugh. Morgan watches as the woman playfully touches his arm and lets it linger.
Curly and her are close enough to hear them, but not to where Sawyer can see her.
“Same time tomorrow, Cowboy?”
“Same time tomorrow,” he tips his hat towards the unknown woman before she walks right passed Morgan.
Morgan feels her mouth dry. She knew she couldn’t be upset that he had moved on, it had been a year, but she couldn’t help but have hoped he would still be there when she came back.
Shaking her head, she stops walking, “I…I can’t, Curly. I shouldn’t have come.” Turning around, she takes off back towards her car.
“Morgan, wait!” Curly calls back.
Sawyer’s head snaps in their direction, “Morgan?”
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mxrcayong · 4 years
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let it unfold - chapter ten
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chapter ten
Her heart felt like it dropped from the top of the empire state building to the sidewalk once she got a call from Yuta, begging her to come to the studio. She hasn’t been responding to anything from their numbers, and for the most part, she noticed they respected it by not calling. It only alarmed her when the NCT boys had called her over ten times in the five minutes she went to the bathroom in the pub.
“Uhm, Jun, Edward – I really have to go now.” She quickly ran to the people she came here with, “I think some of my friends are in trouble.”
“We only just got here!” Jun slurred, already drunk. Edward – oh, sensible Edward – was quick to tell Katie to go and that he’ll take care of his fiancée. She practically sprinted out of the crowded club, ignoring the grunts or the complaints from the people she accidentally pushed.
She quickly typed up her google maps and clicked on her saved ‘nct dance’ address, revealing to her the quickest way to the familiar studio from the unfamiliar pub. It said it would be the metro; so Katie sprinted her way to the metro. The train was almost empty; but she couldn’t sit. Her thoughts were racing, her knees were shaking. She couldn’t sit still and the train felt longer than the flight to Canada.
The minute she got into the lobby of the practice building, the security guards regarded her panicked state and hesitantly approached – ready to escort her out. But then they remembered her face; the photo of the girl who was always with every NCT photo sheet for each security checkpoint. She looked desperate, looking at one of the security guards in their eyes and pleaded for her entrance. It wasn’t the security guard she is close to, but she’s hoping their kind enough to see how panicked she is.
And they did; they scanned their ID for her allowance to the practice floors, where she printed to the room where some of the boys were waiting patiently – but obviously distressed.
“What happened?” She asked, getting the boys attention who were quick to jump on their feet – inching closer but quickly backing away, knowing in panicked situations; it’s best to give people space.
“Yuta, Tae, and Johnny are in there.” Jaehyun quickly responded, “They’re trying to talk to him but he passed out and then got mad and then now he’s crying and he needs you.”
This is my fault, was the only thing running through Katie’s brain, this is all my fault. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. She gave Jaehyun a quick hug and ruffled Haechan’s hair due to his position next to the door and him quietly greeting her with the smallest ‘hello noona’ she’s ever heard from him.
She knocked twice on the door, taking a deep breath – her heart feeling heavy and as if someone was clenching it and squeezing it in their hands.
“Who is it?” He heard Taeyong loudly ask as someone quietly hyperventilated in the back.
She sighed, “It’s me.”
“Come in please!” Yuta called almost immediately, recognizing the voice from the very first syllable. Within minutes, the boys all gave Katie a quick hug and left the room; leaving Mark and Katie alone together.
She carefully approached him; he looked broken. He was pale, he had eyebags that were far too low compared to normal, he looked thin and frail - he clearly hasn’t been sleeping or eating enough. It was almost as if a predator approaching a prey from behind; Mark appearing much smaller than Katie despite him being taller than her.
She was scared to touch him – what if it made it worse? She was frozen, now sitting next to him – what felt like miles between them was really a few inches.
“W-w-w-hy’d you leave?” He croaked out, now looking into her eyes. In her life, she’s never seen Mark cry this hard; he usually tries to hide his emotions physically even if he talks through it. “Wh-what did I do wrong? Please, I never meant to hurt you.” His eyes were red and pleading.
She slowly moved, making sure she’s now sitting in front of you. “You did nothing wrong.”
“Then why did you leave?” His sadness seemed to turn more intro frustration as he raised his voice. “I love you, Katie. I love you so fucking much - it’s not even funny.” Before Katie could answer, he continued. “You are the only fucking fully comforting thing in my life! You remind me I’m human when I’m treated like a robot. The boys, I love them so much, but sometimes they’re associated with work. You’re associated with love and happiness and…I just, I don’t want anybody but you.” He broke down more, “But I get it! My lifestyle, right? I’m a fucking robot. I don’t deserve this happiness.” He started getting angry
Katie quickly jumped to her knees, now slightly taller than Mark who was in the fetal position. Her palm raised up to his cheek, wiping away the stray tears while soothing his thumb. “No, my love, no.” The use of the pet name calmed Mark down already, who started nuzzling his head into her palm like a lost puppy. “I left because you deserve to be happy and I heard about some stuff regarding how I may be messing with your work. I don’t want to get between that.”
“I was busy with work because I was convincing the management to let me stay with you.” He sighed, “Hell, I was about to tell you the day after that they agreed but you messaged me…that…” He started to cry again.
“No, baby, no,” Katie quickly interjected, “no, no, no, I didn’t know that.”
“Then why didn’t you ask? I thought we told each other everything.”
She sighed, “I made a mistake, Mark. I also knew you’re too kind – you’re way too kind that you’d lie to make me feel better, you’d feel stuck with me.”
“I always choose to be with you.” He mumbled, now looking up at her eyes. “If its you or being an idol, it’s no question. I still have the boys – they’ll always be my friends. I can perform on youtube, I can perform in the states. But I can’t be with anybody like you. There’s nobody like you.”
Katie seemed to stutter; unclear on how to answer. “I never want to make you have that choice.”
“I rather have that choice than none at all.” Mark mumbled, not breaking eye-contact with Katie. His beautiful brown eyes – no matter how tired – broke her.
She let out a side chuckle, biting the side of her lip, “Can I kiss you?”
“Please.”
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