#introducing a new character. they're multiplying in here

[wispstalk]

business

Mjoll, as usual, is the first one on the scene of the scuffle. The victim slumps on the boardwalk, his feet dangling over the dark canal, while his companion stares despondently at the empty sky.

“What happened?” she asks, though she has a guess. She heard the flapping wings, the screeches, the subsequent stream of curses.

“Crows!” He lets out a harsh bark of laughter. “Damn crows stole my purse, every coin I had.”

Mjoll pities every newcomer to this rotten city. In Riften, these days, there is more than one reason to watch the skies. Though he mustn’t have tried to fight back, the way some do, because he’s not all scratched to hell. His woman, her eyes glistening, clutches his arm and tends to the invisible wounds of humiliation.

“We’ll be all right, Bassianus, we will. You’ll find work and it’ll only take a little time to recover…”

“We’re only paid up at Haelga’s for the next week,” the glum young man laments. “Then what? We run back to Ivarstead with our tails between our legs?”

Young love, Mjoll thinks with a smile, and village kids to boot. Perhaps they had visions of autumn picnics in golden forests, evening strolls in Plankside, making a little fortune for themselves in the big city. Little did they know the forests are deadly dangerous and the canals are rank and slimy and the city thick with thieves so desperate as to die over a single silver candlestick.

“I will try to get your purse back,” she announces, and Bassianus gives her a befuddled look. “From the crows?” he says.

—

She doesn’t have to go past the gates to find Seadhna. The girl sits splayed in the road, just before the bridge to the Bee, grinning up at an unfamiliar woman. The stranger looks like a farmhand, or a millworker maybe— tall and muscular and dressed in grimy work clothes, though she has a gigantic bone hammer strapped beneath her rucksack. Leave it to Seadhna to mess with a woman like that.

“Bet you a silver piece I can tell you where you got your boots,” Seadhna is reciting, and Mjoll groans quietly to herself.

You got them on your feet, the girl’s smug answer will come, and then Seadhna will follow this newcomer until she makes good on the bet just to be free of the haranguing. Mjoll tries to catch the woman’s eye, waving a deterrent hand round her throat.

The stranger, when she speaks, has a soft voice at odds with those thick arms and that brutish weapon. “I got them,” she says with a cool smile, “out from under your mother’s bed this morning.”

“Oho!” Seadhna cackles, and waggles a finger at her mark. “You’re quicker than you look.”

“You’re just unlucky. That scam is an old Leyawiin standby.” She turns to Mjoll, her expression blank. “I suppose you’ll be the next to try and roll me? Third time is charmed.”

“No,” says Mjoll, offering up weaponless hands. “Though you’re wise to be careful. Riften is not so kind to strangers.”

“Ah. Well.” The woman gives her a nod as she strides past. “Ful nii los.”

"That one might be all right around here." Seadhna, still grinning, watches the woman go, then glowers at Mjoll. “I was just having some fun. None of your business.”

Mjoll gives her the sternest look she can manage. “My business is with your crows.”

—

The birds beat their wings and sound a raucous warning as they approach the beech tree. The camp looks quite a bit shabbier than the first time Mjoll tracked these infamous crows to their lair. The tarpaulin on the lean-to has seen better days, and there are axe-marks in the poles that hold it. Someone also seems to have kicked the fire ring apart to scatter it before it was rebuilt; there are burnt patches among all the duff.

Seadhna lets out a sharp whistle and flings her arms out wide. Scrawny and ragged as a scarecrow, but these ones don’t fear her. Six of them land on her, rasping in greeting, and the girl turns to face Mjoll with a vicious gap-toothed grin.

“Well,” says Seadhna, tossing her shaggy brown hair from her eyes, “have you learned to tell them apart yet? Name your thief and ask it to return the purse.”

“Absurd girl,” Mjoll mutters. “I name the one who trains them.”

“S’not my fault what they bring me. It’s just anything that catches their eye. Look what was left on my bed yesterday.”

The birds lift off her shoulders with a loud protest as she dives beneath the lean-to. Tucked against the low side, there is some sort of altar or shelf, little more than a weather-beaten plank propped up on stones, cluttered with trinkets and dried flowers and the occasional glint of something shiny. She crawls back out and lifts up her prize.

“A pinecone…” Mjoll’s eyes widen. “It’s huge!”

Seadhna grins and nestles it carefully back within the display. “Ever seen one that big? Me neither. To the crows it’s just as special a gift as the coins, only I can’t use to buy food, now, can I?”

“It’s no matter to me if they bring you flowers and pinecones, but that purse belongs to a young man with no gainful employment and nothing else to his name.”

“Not my problem.”

“Isn’t it? Tell me truly that you don’t know what it’s like to starve, Seadhna.”

The girl scowls at her, and Mjoll tries to maintain her stern expression against the sympathy that needles her heart. This child is a long way from her people.

“And why should I care what you think? You’re not a real guard, no one put you in charge. Law-Giver might give you pats on the head but even you can’t pretend she doesn’t dine with Maven every week.” She folds her arms. “Turn me in, then. Maybe the Jarl will put my crows on trial. She’s clueless enough to try it.”

Mjoll sighs. After all she’s seen and survived, no one cows her: not brutal callous Maul, not even Maven who is so strong she needn’t lift a finger to hurt her foes, but the words of this malnourished teen go through her like a Dwemer bolt.

So she changes the subject.

“What will you do come winter? It’s not so harsh as the Reach, but you are alone out here.”

“I get through just fine. There’s always the Ratway,” she mumbles, scuffing the leaf litter with the toe of her wrapped leather shoe. “Reeks, but it’s warm. Warmer.”

Mjoll grunts as she buries her seax blade into a spray of pine. “Perfect. So that slime Brynjolf can get his hooks into you.”

“Bryn’s friendly to me, at least. You’re not.”

Mjoll, in answer, keeps working until she has an armload of branches, then pointedly begins layering them over the half-rotted canvas, patching all the gaps. Seadhna huffs and scrambles up the tree, hopping light-footed along a quaking limb that sends the crows aflutter, then flinging herself down into a net hammock strung from the branch. Like a sullen teen slamming a door, if she had a door to slam.

Since it seems the subject of the crows is done, Mjoll does a turn around the grove, gathering any long length of wood she can find. With the butt of her seax, she drives four tall stakes into the soil along the windward side of the lean-to, just beyond the fire ring. Then she stacks the lengths of wood inside the stakes, gradually building up a long low wall.

“Oh.” Seadhna’s face peeks up above the edge of the hammock. “I never thought to try that.”

“It will keep you warmer. You don’t use firewalls in the Reach?”

“Never made one by myself,” she mumbles, and vanishes back behind the netting. “What do you know about living out of doors, anyway.”

Mjoll resists the urge to smile. “And what do you know about me? I’ve traveled the breadth of Tamriel, girl, hunting treasure and game. I’m no stranger to building a shelter. Sleeping in ruins will keep the weather off you, but it’s risky.” She grimaces. “Maybe someday I will teach you what I learned in Valenwood. The Bosmer know ways of camping that hardly leave a trace. It’s kinder to the forest, yes, but their methods also hide you from view of those who might plunder your camp.”

No answer, but she can tell she has Seadhna’s ear. There are those in Riften unsavory enough to ransack the pitiful camp of a teenage girl, and it’s likely happened more than once.

A long pause. Then: “You’re an adventurer?”

“I was.” Mjoll stands back, satisfied, to survey her work. “I’ve claimed riches all your crows couldn’t carry off.”

Another pause. Seadhna doesn’t peek above the netting of her hammock again, but Mjoll can almost feel her curiosity crackling through the air, and she stifles a laugh.

“Well,” she says, “since it seems our business is concluded, you’ll have to come back into Riften if you want to hear more. Aerin’s house is small but the hearth’s as warm as anyone’s, and we have the makings for fish stew tonight.”

“Aerin,” the girl scoffs. “He’s a bigger prig than even you. No thanks.”

“Suit yourself,” Mjoll shrugs, and turns on her heel, her boots crunching in the leaves.

“Wait,” comes her voice from the safety of her tree. One of the crows echoes her, in a strange and tinny voice. Wait! Wait!

“You’ll come?”

“No, not that.”

Something hisses in the trees, and the crows flap and croak, and a wooden pail attached to a rope thunks to the forest floor. Inside, among beads and lengths of wire and glittering chips of mica, Mjoll spies a leather coin purse. A truce, then. Mjoll tosses and catches it, the clinking of the coins serving as her acknowledgement, and the bucket is hoisted back up among the branches.

“Just this once!” Seadhna calls after her, by way of farewell. “Just this once,” Mjoll agrees.

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

So...

Do you guys know that thing about creative writers with ideas (plot bunnies) and how they always seem to multiply one after the other? That's me with Twisted Wonderland AUs. I can't help it! The series just reminds me of all the stories I loved as a kid, with characters that had depth and / or developed or we got to learn more about--even if it was stupid little things they do in their everyday life! I've grown to appreciate it in ways I never imagined I could any form of media. ;;v;;

To be honest...this game has given me the creativity to consistently create and build upon ideas, and the support you all have given me has meant so much. I can't thank you all enough for sticking with me for so long, and for sending me all the ideas or scenarios you all have been daydreaming of. ;;v;;

So I wanted to give a bit of an update on a few things I'm going to do with the blog:

1) Create a rules page. I've gone far too long without updating my original set, and I feel it's long overdue 😂 Plus, it'll help me keep track of certain things!

2) Go back through and update the links on the Masterlists with posts I may have missed. I didn't realize that some things I was referencing in some of my latest posts (aka the grape incident in the monster!AU) were missing, so I'm gonna comb through my posts and make sure I label and organize them easier for you guys to find (and for me to refresh myself on what I write)!

3) Answering asks (of course). Things are a little slow going and my muse has been getting finicky with me, but I will make sure I get to everyone's asks! Some I may answer because they're quick and easy, others...I may end up getting an idea for something more expansive, so that'll take a bit longer. 😅

And finally, 4) Introducing a(nother) AU:

Twisted Wonderland!Mermaid AU!!!

Honestly, this started because I got inspired by the artwork by this artist here where they drew the characters based on Floyd's nicknames for them, and it started as a Marine Biologist AU where Yuu is a marine biologist and taking care of the mermaid bois (all 22 boys + one fire-breathing cat) buuuuuut...at the moment, Yuu getting shipwrecked and living on the island with the mermaid boys wouldn't leave me alone. 😂

As well as an idea where Yuu is a full-blooded Kaiju/born a Kaiju and has Land Before Time like adventures because I got emotional at baby Littlefoot hatching, but who's counting the ideas? Certainly not me!

Anyway, I wanted to share a snippet of the prologue I have written that's currently under construction, so the final product may differ. I'm honestly really excited about this AU too, and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do~ ;;v;;

Snippet under a read-more because this post is going to be long anyway 😂 Enjoy!

Oh, and if I need to tag it a certain way for future posts, please let me know and I'll be sure to add them!

//////------------//////

If anyone were to ask Yuu what they were going to be doing over the summer, they likely would have told them: catch up on their reading, or playing video games, or any number of different things they had planned. Even just relaxing at home or on the beach would have been an enticing offer.

A scuba diving trip was not something they expected to get dragged into.

“First time diving?”

“Was it that obvious?” Yuu asked, one hand gripping the bar on the seat next to them until their knuckles were white while the other kept hold of the oxygen tank sitting in front of their flippered feet.

“Yeah…kinda obvious for a first timer,” the instructor said with a chuckle, the man giving them a reassuring pat. “It can be a bit nerve-wracking for new divers, but you’ll be fine. You’re one of the contest winners, right?”

“I put my name in as a joke, I didn’t think I’d actually win!” Peering over the edge of the railings, Yuu couldn’t make out anything in the dark water. “I…thought we were going to dive near the shallows closer to land. What are we doing so far out?” they asked, swearing they saw a big shadow pass by…only to realize it was the ship’s frame reflecting on the water.

“I know we’re a lot further out than we normally would for first time divers, but we had problems with our normal ship and the only one that was available was this ship a couple of marine biologists were using.”

“…why didn’t you just cancel and set it for another day?”

“Try telling that to my bosses,” the man muttered under his breath before the smile was back on his face. “Anyway, I think this will be a fun change to the program! These biologists are actually working to explore the reactions of marine life to musical instruments, and we’ll get to see it firsthand ourselves!”

Before Yuu could respond, the ship came to a stop and the driver said, “We’re here! You folks ready to go diving while we get set up? There’s a coral reef not far below us, so you’ll have plenty of time to sightsee.”

“Yup! Okay, so let’s go over the basics again, and I’ll make sure your gear is on properly.”

Yuu listened nervously as the instructor walked through each procedure and rule of diving, the wetsuit sticking tightly to their body as the tank weighed heavily on their back. This was not how they imagined their first time scuba diving would be—they could barely even make out the shore from a wave in the distance. Finally—with mask secured and breathing apparatus in—the instructor gave them a reassuring nod…before falling backwards into the water with a  ‘sploosh!’. For a brief moment they froze, but the motion of the ship and the weight on their back knocked them off balance and forced them backwards.

Fwoosh!!

[ursbearhug]

Sometimes I get emails, that I cannot stop, from a game that I cannot log on to, because support has me so far deep in their ass they cannot even be bothered to help me out getting my account back. And viewing these emails sometimes really make me think; do game developers even play their own games?

This is another case of "if you have never tried broccoli you can't really say you don't like it, since you've never tasted it". Or the "I know nothing about quantum physics and neither do you about [word], so don't try to interfere".

I know that game balancing can be tricky thing. There will always, always, always be a character, weapon, strategy or perk that will be better than other. If everything is perfectly balanced, there is no reason for the variety because all of them would do the same thing and fulfil the same niche or fantasy. Some games suffer from this more than others.

I'm no BTD6 pro by any means but even playing leisurely you can notice "oh, bloon solver and the biggest one cover the exact same niche". And then you look further and you realise "well, they cover the same niche but bloon solver is more practical choice because it's cheaper, has access to more buffs and is simplier to use given it requires no microing". The same can apply to some other monkeys or towers too. Like, there is absolutely no reason to use Glue Storm othen than trying to take down the boss because other Glue Gunner paths do the work better. Need stalling? Ice monkey is cheaper and more efficient than trying to get new beast handler going. Fastest moab killer? You won't do it any faster at cheap price than moab mauler.

I personally think that Ninja Kiwi is doing good work keeping the game balanced for the most part. Strong things get nerfed, underperforming towers get buffed. Some games, like Leauge for instance, have troubles because keeping 160ish champions in perfectly balanced state is a challenge. But even then, when Riot introduces new concepts, they sometimes do it the very wonky way;

If you want to introduce an assassin character and also keep the game clean you have to make concessions: it's an assassin so you want it to be quick or stealthy and be able to quickly kill it's target. If your character is meant to burst down opponent, it can never be tanky and tenacious because then instead of going for pick ups 1v1, it will go rampant 1v4 and most likely win. Even burst damage needs to have a window of opportunity to react, otherwise game leaves no counteraction to be taken and uninteractive games are not being fun. Yeah, the assassin player will have fun 1shoting hoes left and right, but players tired of getting one shot will eventually leave the game out of frustration. It's like in real life fauna; too much predators leaves no pray and they both go extinct. Giving an assassin hard CC is okay because it can fit into its character or narrative background. But assassins being able to hard crowd control 5 enemies are just being objectively too powerful. That's why some characters can never find their niche and suffer from it, like Diana; she wants to be tanky magic bruiser but also assassinate her enemies. She can do either or, otherwise neither fantasies will be fulfilled and it's just impossible to balance properly.

But then you have shit like "hey, we have an event! 3x exp!" and I'm like... Okay? And? I cannot stress this enough but if getting one level requires you to get, and I'm not fucking with you here, 13 trilion experience (which by itself is just fucking nonsense, because I barely understand numbers in thousands, let alone anything that has 14 digits)(I love when bitches try to excuse the steepenes it gets on higher levels as if it's acceptable for the reward they're not getting and being like "uwu I got 600milion exp last dungeon, so kawaii" and the percentage rise was like 3%) getting 3 times multipliers on 1 milion (or 9milion, doesn't really matter. No amount of "greatest fastest resonance farming strategy" will change the number factor and anybody thinking otherwise is just deluding themselves) is legitmently fucking nothing. It will not make getting experience any fucking easier and it's there so the whales, who already don't do anything other than grinding, can feel slightly less horrible about their life choices.

This is something D3 is also suffering from and a lot of players are already doomsdaying the future of D4. In D3, at some point in paragon grinding, you're dealing damage in numbers a human mind cannot fucking comprehend. And getting to higher paragons is just as nonsensical because the amount of experience you need, amount you get and amount of time you need to pour into it is not consequential or sensible at all. I'm not the one to talk about grinding it, given that I can sit down and get like 10 levels in a reasonable time; getting from 1050 to 1060 take less time than getting from 5000 to 5001.

So it's like... Play your games first, I guess?

[keagan-ashleigh]

Hello tis me 👋😊

Ok so just like many people I have been following Loki's show and I have been sharing my thoughts on Twitter (look for @KeaganAsh if you want to meet me there) but, well, I thought, hey, that's been a while since I've posted something on Tumblr, and since the finale's tomorrow, well.

So. I haven't had many theories, some thoughts here and there but nothing big, but one. This is about Sylvie - it's not exactly my theory, I've seen some tweets about it and I tend to sort of agree with it: I am not 100% convinced Sylvie is actually a Loki. I think there is a possibility, a fair one, that Sylvie is the Enchantress. The actress has answered about it but in case the theory is true she can't just spoil it, and she's been vague enough so the theory still has a chance to be true.

First of all there's the name: Sylvie. Sylvie Lushton is one of the two characters that has taken the Enchantress alias, the other one being Amora.

The two are not the same character but they have things in comon and as Sophia Di Martino said they took inspiration from Lushton but are telling a different story from the comics. That doesn't rule out the theory at all since Sylvie and Amora can have been merged into this new character we've been presented.

I'm going to introduce those characters - even if in the end I end up being wrong, which is a possibility, they're still interesting.

Sylvie Lushton is a human, who obtained the powers of Enchantress from Loki who met her when she was a teenager, in Oklahoma where she was born. His reason being, basically, he wanted to play with the life of a human, and see what will happen. With her newly gained powers she tried her chance at joining the Avengers, taking The Enchantress name and lying about being an asgardian. But she was rejected.

She later joined Coat of Arm and the Young Masters, still trying to be a hero, then was accepted by the Young Avengers before being rejected because of her bad attitude. She joined other groups until she ultimately led a villainous group and was defeated by The Defenders then led by Valkyrie, Misty Knight, Hyppolita, etc.

Her powers: she has the ability to cast illusions, to control people's minds (!), teleportation, she can transform people into animals, cast some sort of energy field, transmorgrification (changing form, often in a grotesque way)

Amora is a born asgardian, her powers have been taught to her by the Norns, especially the Queen of the Norns, Karnilla. She's been continuing her studies by seducing or stealing knowledge from mages, wizards. She associated w Brunnhilde but soon betrayed her.

She's been for a long time associated with Skurge, who was deeply in love with her.

She's notably known as Thor's love interest - more precisely, Amora fell in love with Thor, tried to seduce him but when she couldn't, asked Skurge to kill Jane Foster. She was then defeated.

Later she has been associated with Loki, Zemo, Doctor Doom, etc.

She later was forced by the Beyonder to fight on Battleworld, at some point she fought against Miss Hulk and lost. She met Thor again by that time.

[note that those are mostly characters that have an importance in the incoming mcu phase]

The Enchantress was exhiled from Asgard by Odin who was unhappy with her villainous actions. But she fought against Surtur's army, and against her sister Lorelei when she refused to fight alongside asgardians. So she casted (?) a spell on her so she fell in love with Loki.

Her story doesn't stop here but it's a long story, see the rest on Marvel wiki.

Her powers: she has the asgardian strength of course, speed, ability to fight, endurance, etc. Plus obviously she is a witch so she casts spells, throw lightning bolts, teleport, cast illusions, transform her appearance, she manipulates men by seducing them, she can use force fields and blows up things with energy she emits, she can levitate, AND not the least: she can astral project to possess other people yes !

Both Enchantresses have obviously things in comon with the show's Sylvie - including their looks. Their powers seem similar to Loki's but there is things they can do that he can't, such as what is said in Lamentis: Loki can't enchant people, not the way she does it.

Loki manipulates minds in a different way as established in Avengers, he used the scepter that multiplied his power and emotions, to control minds and unleash Avengers deep anger to awake the Hulk. In a way, that power came from him, but it's not something he really does in the movies. Initially, he can astral project, use hypsnosis, telepathy, but he doesn't possess people. I guess Sylvie is teaching him to use this power he doesn't yet control. Still, it's quite possible that this is to make us doubt, or to focus our attention on the fact that Sylvie can help him unleash his powers, and not on the fact it's fairly possible that he just doesn't have Sylvie's abilities.

There is not many differences between a Loki and an Enchantress and that makes it really easy to deceive people into believing they are the same person.

What we've seen from the show and Sylvie's past, she was taken away from Asgard by the TVA as a kid and then hid from them and ran away... But there is actually nothing that really say unequivocally, the kid we saw was Sylvie. That is the story she is telling.

Plus there this tiny detail that the kid had dark hair, while Sylvie doesn't - yep I know hair dye is a thing but that blurs the line, that creates a visual difference between those two persons. What if it's implying they're not the same ?

And there is other details, like the HUGE amount of times they use the words "enchant", " enchanting", and such. I mean. Why insist on this word, when her power can be described differently, could have used telepathy, mind manipulation, etc, but they insist on using "enchantment".

And there is the fact her first impulse when called a Loki is to reject it, perhaps with a bit more anger than necessary. Why doesn't she wants to be associated with this name? Why insisting on the fact they're two different beings and not two versions of the same person. She's the only Loki to reject being a Loki, the only one who doesn't dramatize everything, and if they have comon traits, they are very different. Even Loki points it out, they're different. They imply that's because she was taken out of her timeline befire she could learn to be Loki, but again, it'd be a very good way to mislead us.

And of course there's the fact that they make them fall in love with each other - I doubt they really are to be honest, but they make it such a point that falling for himself is sick and absurd, then what if it means he's not? Yes it IS absurd. What if that's precisely the point?

I don't care if they end up together if she is not Loki but Enchantress, Loki is still canonically bisexual no matter who they set him up with, that is a win they can't take back. But yes, if she's actually Loki, then this pairing is weird. They are different people anyway, they don't share the same timeline, the same life, the same experience, still that is weird. And perhaps it's meant to feel weird and to be questioned.

In conclusion : I am not sure this theory is right. Not at all. But I feel like there is a piece of the puzzle missing, I feel like there is a lack of an actual twist. For now there has been 2 twists (tva agents are variants and the Time Keepers are fake), but we have been told that since the beginning, we started the show with this fact that it was all bullshit so there is no surprise, we have been led from the start to the understanding that the tva was coated in lies.

I expect something more unexpected. Something that not only will give a starting point to the multiverse just as it has been announced on the medias, but also something, pretty much like the Agatha reveal in WandaVision, that will make us go back to the beginning and reconsider everything we've seen. Why not that thing be that Sylvie is the Enchantress and has been either pulling the strings or been manipulated into tricking everyone.

Maybe not. Maybe I am wrong. We'll see tomorrow, maybe not this time but next season if there is one - everything is possible. If I am wrong, no worries, it happens, but if I am right I'll be happy but not surprised. 😁

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - "The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck!"

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Ben Siemon, Bob Snow

Written by: Bob Snow

Storyboard by: Stephanie Gonzaga, Krystal Ureta, Brandon Warren, Hayley Foster

Directed by: Matthew Humphreys

I'm not the only judge around here.

The episode begins with Scrooge and Louie dealing with a bunch of furry, multiplying monsters that are in no way supposed to be the Tribbles from Star Trek. They're Gribbles, they're completely different. Before they can deal with them entirely, and almost immediately after Scrooge tells Louie how he should accept responsibility, they are suddenly summoned into the All-Powerful Karmic Court. This otherworldly court features a seemingly all-powerful bailiff, and a giant Lady Justice holding a scale that will hold Scrooge's innocence and guilt. Who was responsible for getting Scrooge and Louie into this Karmic Court?

None other than Doofus Drake, who is just as creepy as he always was in this reboot. He makes his entrance by being wheeled in while wearing a strait-jacket, an obvious reference to Silence of the Lambs, he puts chap-stick all over his face, and, right before a commercial break, he appears to start an attempt to lick Louie's face. We get it, the character was bad and unlikeable in the original, so the new version of the character has to be disgusting and intentionally unlikeable. They could have just not have him appear, put him on a milk carton somewhere, or, since this is a reboot, they could have made him a different character entirely like they did with Burger Beagle, but instead, we get this Licky McCreepo.

Using the combined money and supernatural powers of him and his witnesses, Doofus, wanting revenge, er, justice over losing his inheritance to his own family, managed to get a supernatural summon to sue Scrooge McDuck out of the fortune, land-holdings, and treasure that would have been Louie's inheritance. Why? Because he ruined their lives! Scrooge immediately balks at these accusation that he can be guilty of ruining anyone's life, saying that he got everything fair and square and he has done nothing wrong. The Bailiff, acting as the judge as the giant Lady Justice can only nod or shake her head, has to keep telling him to sit down and be quiet as the plaintiff and his witnesses bear their case. As Scrooge can't help but make himself look guilty in the face of the all-powerful and all-seeing Karmic Court, it's up to Louie, the irresponsible schemer that Scrooge was scolding minutes before, to help him against three different shorts, er, three different witnesses! Our first one is...

Witness #1: Flintheart Glomgold!

Or, as he puts it as he jumps out of the door:

Flintheart: FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD, HA HA HA HA HA!

Yes, he even introduces himself with lightning strikes behind him. I'd like to think he requested the court supply those, as that was also the explanation for the Hannibal impression. It does not matter to the Karmic Court that the plaintiff and witnesses are acting like villains, as the case is supposed to be that Scrooge's actions have led them this way in the first place. We get a flashback, courtesy of the Karmic Courts power to get video clips of anything that happened in the past. Having video clips of things that couldn't possibly have been recorded is a reason for the supernatural element to this court. It is magic, it does not need to be explained.

No, this isn't about his former Duke Baloney persona, though I like how they mention that right in the beginning, but how he managed to steal the heart of Duckburg from him. It happened all the way back in 1987, as they sure liked that year for reasons that should be obvious. Back then, Duckburg was in a state of Glomgold Fever, as reported by Webra Walters. Her joke, besides being an obvious parody of Barbara Walters, is that she has a lisp. In the beloved adventurers latest adventure, he's going into a cave full of sharks and booby traps to get a large, sharktooth-shaped diamond for the people of Duckburg. He even takes Webra Walters and a cameraman with him, all so they can report on his benevolence. He is trying so hard to make himself look like a hero, though I'd argue putting a reporter in danger for the sake of his own ego is a hint that things are not right with this. Well, besides the fact that he's Glomgold, but the people in 1987 didn't know that.

However, that unapproachable and miserly billionaire, Scrooge McDuck, shows up with a grappling hook, swinging effortlessly. Glomgold, in his anger, accidentally pushes Webra off the rock she was standing on. As she grabs onto the ledge for dear life, Glomgold sees this reporter struggling to not get eaten by sharks and accuses her of being in cahoots with Scrooge, and jumps away to that diamond without even trying to save her. As Scrooge manages to get to the diamond and Glomgold ending up holding on to a stalactite after accidentally hitting a booby trap that caused that rock Webra barely managed to climb back up to start sinking. As Debra starts with what she thinks is her last report on how Glomgold has revealed his stupidity and cowardice, assumedly ending Glomgold Fever for good, Scrooge uses the grappling hook to save her and the cameraman, the diamond still strapped to his back.

Needless to say, Scrooge becomes the hero of Duckburg as Webra reports that the originally "miserwy" Scrooge is now showing his "herowic" side, while Glomgold Glomgold then laments at the days he had to hang on to the stalactite, eventually having to make friends with the sharks that infested the cave's waters. It's here where we learn why Glomgold loves sharks so much: because it's the only love he had after that fateful day. Revealing key moments of the villain's past that shaped them into the villains they became is going to be a theme with all of the witnesses, bringing some more importance to this episode. I'll admit that this part is the weakest of the three to me, though I can't deny Glomgold's charm in his reminiscence of his friendship with the sharks. Also, his unforgettable intro.

There is one moment that definitely did not shape them into the villains they became: Scrooge. At least, according to Scrooge himself, who continues to blast the court for even considering this to be evidence against him. The bailiff has to conjure up a muzzle at some point, though even that does not last. Louie eventually comes up to the court and tells them that he was clearly evil even before this incident, and the court. This goes to show that the court is indeed all-seeing, though I do still have a feeling that this court seems to be really easily convinced, as they seem to accept it. They probably should have accepted the "dooming Webra to a shark-caused death" as evidence against the Plaintiff, but this isn't even the worst the court gets with this sort of thing. There's no reason to complain, it's currently Innocent 1, Guilty 0.

Witness #2: Ma Beagle!

Next, it's Ma Beagle, and she wants to get the deed for the town the Beagles rightfully owned before it was stolen by that crook. While the last story revealed Glomgold's shark affinity, this one is the very backstory for how the Beagle Boys became the enemies of Scrooge. We finally get the story behind that painting of Scrooge McDuck and Grandpappy Beagle on how he managed to get the deed for the place. It's been shown in that picture that hangs on Scrooge McDuck's wall, but this is the first time we actually get to see what events that picture depicted, taking place long ago in a place known as Fort Beagleburg.

To make a long story short, it was an arm wrestling match, with Grandpappy as the undefeated champion. Scrooge shows up, talking about how this place used to be known as Fort Duckburg, and he offers to buy the town with his endless riches. Putting his money down on the table, Grandpappy and Scrooge agree to an arm wrestle for the fort's deed, the former getting praise by his daughter that he never lost. However, Scrooge proves that "never" rarely lasts, as much sense as that makes, and manages to defeat him using his wit. He also reveals him to be a cheat, once again revealing some villainy on the part of the Plaintiff that the all-powerful Karmic Court seems to ignore. In fact, unlike Glomgold and his former Glomgold Fever, there's no sense of heroism with these guys at all. In fact, they're all wearing the masks that would be made famous by their descendants.

Scrooge: Pleasure doing business with you! (Takes deed and the cup of juice Young Ma was drinking)

Young Ma Beagle: (crying) Aw, I can't believe you-

(video pauses)

Sure, Grandpappy Beagle was a cheat, but Scrooge does admit that it was unnecessarily mean to young Ma Beagle, and this would be a major cornerstone in her becoming the evil mastermind that headed the Beagle Boys. Lady Justice decides this is a win for Guilty, teleporting Ma to the Guilty side. Much like the wrestling episode, the episode's tension would be completely gone if one side went 2-0 unless they were planning on more than three witnesses. However, Louie isn't going to deal with that, and points out that the young Ma Beagle's line was clearly cut off, which it was. Again, for an omnipotent and omniscient karmic court, not only can't they keep a muzzle on Scrooge, they sure like changing their mind. Then again, this seems to work for the villains as well. At 2-0, it seems like Doofus is doomed to have his case dismissed, but he has one more short, er, witness:

Witness #3: Magica De Spell!

Right from her appearance and despite Louie gloating that he can totally take her case on, Scrooge realizes this is the one that may outweigh the other two. We flash back to a time where Magica is currently controlling an entire town's wealth and food with the power of her magic. In fact, she's not alone, as she reveals she's not an only child.

We get to meet a brand new character: Magica's brother Poe De Spell, making his first appearance in the series. One may guess by the amount of guilt Scrooge is showing that it is also his only appearance, and they are correct. To give more of a description, these twin sorcerers are causing chaos among the people they ruthlessly rule over, turning people into various animals, including a daddy goat that is expected to give them milk. Don't think of that too hard. While Magica is just as evil as she ever will be, it's Poe that ends up being the closer to Earth one. This all changes when Scrooge comes up, and, much like the Beagles, he manages to defeat Magica and Poe with his wit and make off with the money. Some of it went to rebuilding farms.

Of course, the worst part is the reason why Poe is missing. I'll keep this one vague as it is a major crux of the episode, as this is mainly caused by Scrooge being selfish. Even though Magica and Poe are clearly villains, this is one true The episode does build up more and more in both Scrooge's guilt and the quality of the segments. One may guess Poe's fate judging by the author he's clearly named after, and if they can't guess, they haven't gotten to that part in their English class.

What's important is that this is the one where even Louie has to admit that he can't weasel his inheritance, er, Scrooge's innocence out of this one. The ending seems like it's going to go into this cliche where they just admit Scrooge's guilt and the court decides that's good enough to let him off the hook, but they throw a few curveballs at that. As much as I don't want to spoil it, it's hard to believe Scrooge and Louie are going to lose their fortune, land, and treasure, especially an episode before the finale, but I think the way the episode ends, while feeling a bit rushed as a lot of events happen in the last minute, is good enough for me to judge this episode as innocent.

How does it stack up?

I debated whether this should be 3 or 4 Scrooges, and I felt this shouldn't get the same rating as Kit Cloudkicker despite being a good showing of Louie's cleverness. With an okay first part, a second part that is good to see, and a third part that's quite interesting, I'd put this at the same level as the decent Split Sword of Swanstantine. Unfortunately, with DuckTales 2017, decent can only go so far. 3 Scrooges.

Finally, after facing off against all of these non-FOWL related villains in a Karmic Court, the McDucks get to face off against FOWL once and for all.

← The Lost Cargo of Kit Cloudkicker! 🦆 The Last Adventure! →

[omegangrins]

Chibnall, Children, Choice and Consequence

Allow me to introduce a companion piece to A Treatise on the Doctor:

It's pretty simple:

Chibnall knows what he's doing and is playing a long game to show how the Doctor needs to take more responsibility.

Let me start off with my favorite examples. That's right, plural.

Every single villain 13 faces is never defeated, merely pushed away from causing them any immediate problems. Tim Shaw being the prime example.

1&10. Seriously, Tim Shaw. Her plan was to use his own bombs on him and then teleport him off the planet. Even without Ranskoor Av Kolos, the Doctor should have thought to check in on him. Especially after The Ghost Monument showed the Stenza were a greater threat than she knew. She still hasn't even checked up on WHAT THE HELL THE STENZA ARE! They sound worse than Daleks but naw, let's go rain-bathing in the upper tropics of Canstano instead.

2. Ghost Monument. We saw the END of an interuniversal race. What the fuck is the beginning that got them there? Who is Illyn and how and why did he orchestrate a super race?

3. Krasko. Sent back in time. Really, Doc? Not gonna take a look at the device and see where Ryan sent the prick so you can double check that he's not gonna cause anymore damage?

4. President Trump analog. Ooooo, you looked at him menacingly, Doc, that'll show him!! Not like he's gonna KEEP DOING ILLEGAL SHIT LIKE THIS.

5. The Pting. She literally shunted it off ship to be dealt with by someone else BUT DOESN'T GO BACK TO BE THAT SOMEONE ELSE ONCE SHE HAS HER TARDIS. That's like leaving a living nuke floating around after sweeping it under the rug while you fly off to Paris.

6. The Pakistani-Indian conflict still happens and millions still die. Not her fault but still....

7. Kerblam. Sure, Charlie's terrorism was solved but not the underlying problem that led to it. Humans still can't work because corporations like profits over people.

8. Similar to the Punjab, how you gonna solve sexism, classism and all the -isms?

9. WHY WAS THE SOLITRACT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE??!! It's been around since before the universe. Why'd it decide to come back now? It's a whole universe trying to hug our universe to death. Maaaaaaybe we should check out why.

11. She's gets a pass on the Dalek. Fucking impossible to eradicate them.

12. The Master!!! Finally she checks up on something after the adventures... and it's horrible. With everything gone to shit in her absence. Seeing a pattern yet?

And Barton? And the Cassaven? They didn't disappear into smoke.

13. Multiple Earths being multiply fucked. Remember when I said the Doctor couldn't solve racism, classism, sexism, or any of the other -isms? Starting to look like she needs to TRY.

14. The Skithra FLY OFF after getting hit by a laser beam. That kind of thing tends to piss people off. Even if they're idiots using other's technology.

15. Jack. The Judoon. The Ruth Doctor. All things I'd start checking out if I had a time machine BUT

16. WE CAN'T cause the TARDIS emergency alert is going off and we need to hurry up and run and solve this problem before we run out of time in our TIME AND SPACE MACHINE. Leading to another problem the Doctor could help solve but won't. Plastic and over-consumption.

17. Oh yeah, let's trap two Eternals from another universe in the same place. There's NO WAY that could ever turn out bad.

18,19,20. And again. Cyberium. Pushed off Shelley onto herself and onto Ashad and onto The Master.

That's almost 20 "enemies" the Doctor still needs to deal with.

Oh, not to mention that they let UNIT go defunct because they didn't have the forethought to ask if they needed any money in their alien fighting budget. After asking for an office, a desk, and a job. Kinda funny that way, aren't they?

I hope by now you've gotten the idea that this is VERY deliberate. This is Chibnall laying down some very heavy pipe to smack the Doctor like a clothesline. There isn't a one of these situations that can't come around to bite her in the ass.

Barton, Roberts, Skithra. These are all very loose strands for a time traveller like the Doctor to get tripped up on. Chibnall's past episodes prove it. They're all about the Doctor learning how to take responsibility.

42: The Doctor almost gets Martha killed and almost gets himself killed trying to fix it.

The Hungry Earth: The Doctor (a thousand year old "adult") tells Elliot (a 10 year old kid) that "Sure it's totally fine to go get your headphones while we prepare for an approaching unknown alien force." And 11 rightfully gets his ass chewed for it by the child's mother when the kid goes missing because OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS, JACKASS!

Cold Blood: I could write an entire essay about the Doctor's guilt over the Silurian/Human conflicts they've witnessed, but I don't need to. Because every single Silurian centered episode written in the new era is from Chris Chibnall. And you can feel the sad knowledge of Classic Who spill through. He KNOWS how many times the Doctor has fucked up with the Silurians (about 8 times in television format. And it's rough everytime. Rough.) and he writes those episodes like an apology on behalf of the whole human race. And the Doctor. You know why people are put off by Warriors of the Deep? 5 releases a gas that melts the Silurians. And though it's cheesy, the idea and execution is still horrible.

Add to that if the Doctor hadn't stopped to check the crack, then Rory wouldn't have waited and been around to be shot then absorbed by the time crack.

Power of Three: An entire episode about how the Doctor has a problem slowing down and really taking account of the lives of their companions.

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship: The Doctor actually tries to be responsible and pick the right people for a job. For once. But gets angry when they realize it's too late and there's another bunch of Silurians they failed to save. Classic!

Like I said, if you can't see the pattern, you're not paying enough attention to your responsibilites.

Which leads me to the why.

When you fly around time and space for thousands of years, you develop a few duties of care along the way. In every situation, you're the oldest. Technically the only adult in terms of experience. You have a responsibility to act a little less rude and be a bit more aware than needing cue cards to tell you that you should be sad about things around you. And that's the purpose of 13. She's unlucky but learning. Like 12 telling himself something with his face he couldn't say out loud, 13's instincts are leading her to a new place for the Doctor: being a caring, responsible person. Not so much laughing hard or running fast, but being kind. It's the one thing they recognized as a problem in themselves when seeing 1. Being a Doctor is about being kinder than that. Just because you HAVE to saw someone's leg off, that doesn't mean you can't wait a little and comfort them before you do it.

You wanna know what gave me every faith in Chibnall showrunning Doctor Who? 13 staying for Grace's funeral.

Do you understand how unprecedented that is? This is the same person who never said Goodbye to Jo Grant as she got married and fucked off into the night. The same Doctor who said, "I don't do domestic.", did it with Rose a regeneration later, and then closed himself off to everyone but a married couple he felt guilty about who ended up birthing his wife. Have you any idea the number of funerals the Doctor should have the common decency to sit through? This many.

So for 13 to stay around for the death of a woman she has only just met and not only that, BUT call out Ryan's father for not doing the same, it shows tremendous character growth. It's taken millennia but they're still changing.

Something similar happens with Rosa and The Witchfinders. Realizing that there a lot of companions who have been in situations that are sometimes worse than aliens, but they still manage to make it through. So she needs to buck it up and persevere for everyone else.

That's where her anger comes from, and really it's one of my favorite traits on her. It reminds me of 7. Someone impossibly old and impossibly kind saying to hell with it and at least having some fun with the evils who drag us through the universe. And just like Cartmel planned for 7, 13's past will come to haunt her.

That's where children come in. Most of us are crying babies to the Doctor.

There's this thing you notice most in British shows about answering the question directly as asked. Someone says "Are you sure?", you answer "Sure". That's a direct acknowledgement that you heard the question, understood it, and processed it enough to respond in a manner directly correlating to the question asked. Yas and Graham got it and said "Sure" but Ryan missed it and said "Deffo". This is like Elliot with the headphones. The Doctor should have immediately been like, "Okay, Ryan, it's obvious that you're still dealing with the trauma of your grandmother's death and probably not processing things on a logical level. I said "Are you sure?" Not "Are you deffo?" Because we are most definitely not deffo, Ryan. Graham, you wanna help here?"

I'm being sarcastic for points sake but you understand the idea. The Doctor knows better and has a responsibility as such. She should've really sat down with Ryan and Graham and seen if there was a better way to process their grief.

Because I'm fairly certain that "Deffo" is gonna lead to Ryan's death and Graham's cancer resurging as time cancer (I don't know what time cancer is. I just know it's bad.)

And that is gonna piss Yas off. Which will give you all that character you think she's missing (she isn't. Her character is in her subtleties and silences.). That's WHY her character is a police officer (like how does no else see that the man who wrote Broadchurch wrote an inspector character companion?) Imagine you're Yaz and you see the Doctor flying around in a big, magic box that says POLICE. As a fellow officer, you're gonna expect some basic safety protocols.

Like do a background check on everyone flying in the TARDIS to know whether they're stable enough (mentally, physically, emotionally) for time and space travel. It's no picnic. These people are going to go through hell. A little vetting and planning like Time Heist or Dinosaurs on a Spaceship goes a long way.

Secondly, full fucking disclosure.

"Oh. I can't die because I change my body. Oh. I have arch enemies that will try to kill and torture us any chance they get. Oh. My home planet is full of the biggest assholes in the universe and I'm including my arch enemies."

Third, police like to do this thing called "check-ups" where they go back to the scene of the crime in order to see if there is any more information that can be gleaned which you might not notice when you are busy running around trying not to be killed... Like, the Doctor has the perfect machine to do this with, but nope. Adventure done, run to the next place!!

These are all things you'd expect any reasonable person to do and say when taking others flying off into time and space and "helping". Even if they are an idiot passing through and learning. Especially when you consider the Doctor is vastly older and more experienced than everyone they encounter. They SHOULD know better. And they've got the lifespan to slow down. It's not like they need to be in a hurry because they're going to die at any moment like humans. The Doctor could easily stay for tea and it would be less than a drop in their lifespan.

Now, as usually is the case when I make these theories, I have a parts 1,2,3,4 and 6. There's allways this 5th piece I miss but I manage to get at the end.

But the 6th piece is the Timeless Child. The Doctor isn't a Time Lord anymore. They're not beholden to those people and ideas anymore. Even moreso, those people basically raped her childhood for their own gain so it's not like you'd really listen to them and their "policy of non-intervention".

I'm sensing a coming Trial of a Time Lord season (even believing these two seasons are the opening statement and preliminary evidence of the trial itself) wherein the Doctor finally gets the turnaround 6 deserved. A Trial of the Time Lords, if you will.

"In all my travels through time and space I have battled against evil, against power-mad conspirators. I should have stayed here! The oldest civilization: decadent, degenerate and rotten to the core! Power mad conspirators? Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen — they're still in the nursery compared to us! Ten million years of absolute power: that's what it takes to be really corrupt!"

This is what it's all coming down to. Chibnall's takedown of the Time Lords. And The Master is going to play the most crucial role of all.

They're going to be revealed as an Ux alongside the Doctor and show how the only constants they have in this universe are each other and it's about damn time they work together and tell these high collars to eat Schitt while they explore every star and planet they can find.

Come on, the episode is called The Timeless "Children". If it was just the Doctor it'd be called "The Timeless Child". The Master says as much with the misdirect line, "built on the lie of the Timeless Child." since we see two kids playing in that flashback.

"Since always. Since the Cloister Wars, since the night he stole the moon and the president's wife, since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?"

Now we know which one was a lie, we know the Master HAS known the Doctor since they were a little girl. THAT little girl...

But this is all just speculation. It's not like Chris Chibnall could have been thinking about this for the past 40 years and was given a blank slate to do whatever he wanted for five years on his favorite TV show. If y'all want to think he took those reigns and is choosing to make things worse...

Well then you don't know much about responsibility.

I'll let the man himself tell you about it.

"Very early in my career,” says Chibnall, “someone told me that you learn more from a failure than you do from a success. And then I lived out that phrase for a year in Los Angeles. I learned that I would not work that way again or be put in that situation again.” The essential lesson was: “You either have to be in total control of a show or working with people who share your vision and will work with you to achieve it. Also, never work with 13 executive producers.

“Camelot was the classic case of too many cooks. It wasn’t a harmonious set-up and I think that does manifest itself on screen.

“I had a fantastic cast but you have to be free to tell the story you want to tell in the way that you want to tell it. What ended up on screen was not what I wanted and so it is a blemish on my CV.”

Credit to @thirteenthdoc

“You immortals - so entitled, so spoiled. You never clear up after yourselves and you always leave stuff lying around.” - Thirteenth Doctor in Can You Hear Me?