#is anyone even doin anythin with them

[metukika]

girl psycho gimme the the the

[tightjeansjavi]

common tongue of your loving me

A/N: so, I first just wanted to say that I am not responsible for the content that you choose to engage with. This is a very dark fic with triggering themes that may be disturbing for some readers. This is dead dove do not eat. Please heed the warnings with caution. I understand that this won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but for my first truly dark fic, I feel pretty good about it. It’s taken months of personal healing for me to become comfortable with writing/engaging with these kinds of fics. That being said, it is important to remember that SA survivors often use dark fic to cope from their own traumatic experiences, but also, dark fics can be enjoyed by anyone and no explanation for enjoying them is needed! Reading and writing dark fic does not mean that you condone this type of behavior. Please be kind.

~word count: 9.1k~

Summary: Joel finds you wandering through his territory and decides that he’ll take you in to be his little lamb. You don’t go with him so willingly.

pairing | raider!Joel x f!reader

Warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!

Dubcon/noncon, the lines are blurred regarding to what the reader consents too, Joel is sick in the head, coercion, manipulation from both Joel and the reader, Stockholm syndrome vibes, he can kill easily you if he wanted to but he won’t, dom/sub, dark! Joel, feral! Joel, raider! Joel, rough unprotected sex, possession, degradation, age gap: Joel is 40 the reader is early 30’s, power imbalance, fear tactics, mind games, praise kink, pet names: little lamb and sir, rough unprotected piv, choking/breath play, knife kink, blood kink, voyeurism, hand job, mutual masturbation, cock warming, oral (male and female receiving) cum play, mutilation of a body part (not done to the reader) misogyny from Joel’s men, implied rape as threat/coercion, Joel is not a morally good person, touch deprivation, humiliation, graphic depictions of violence, submission on the means of survival, foul language, +18 minors dni!

main masterlist masterlist

The Cordyceps Outbreak changed you in a plethora of ways. Survivor turned cold-blooded murderer; not of your own doing. Desperate times call for desperate measures after all. Your saving grace happened to be a man. Brooding in strength, a quick tongue, and an even quicker aim. Calculated movements built up over years of tireless days and nights enduring whatever hell-scape the world had to offer. Grit, stubbornness, chapped lips, aliquine nose, paired with a wicked grin.

“Y’lost?” Gruff, gravelly, never ending pit of deepness. Joel Miller was crouched down between what you believed was an inconspicuous hiding space. You caught wind days out that a group of raiders had been silently stalking you. You were alone, with a limited supply of weapons in your reach.

“No.” Your voice trembled as you clutched your precious pocket knife to your chest.

“That so? What’re you doin’ hidin’ back there?” His head cocked curiously as his boot scraped along the tattered floor of the long since abandoned gas station.

“None of your goddamn business.” You hissed, teeth gritted as your eyes squeezed shut.

“Cute.” He mused. “Take it that you’re alone then? Y’got anythin’ on ya?”

“Are you going to kill me, or not? Cause if so, just get on with us for both our sakes.” You nearly pleaded.

He tsked, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “Ain’t gonna do that. Woulda dragged you outta there myself if that was the case. Besides, I enjoy it more when they run.” He spoke so casually you could feel your blood quickly turn to ice from his tone alone.

“What the hell do you want then? I have nothing to offer. Just some measly scraps, and a dull pocket knife.”

I’m gonna die. That’s it. It’s all over. All that fighting for fucking nothing.

“Ain’t that a shame.” You could feel the smirk rise on his face as bile tried to force its way up your throat. “You’re in luck, my dear. Feelin’ a bit generous. Been lookin’ for a pet. Someone to keep my bed warm at night. Clean my gun. Be at my side. The offer stands, but expires in approximately..” He looked around as if there was a working clock in sight, “one minute.”

“Wait, wait! Are you saying you want me to be your slave?! Fuck no! I’d–”

“Temper, I see. My slave? Not at all, darlin.’ You’ve got it all wrong. Ain’t gonna force ya, although, you were the one to stupidly go waltzing into raider territory. More specifically, my territory. So, you either swallow that fuckin’ tongue of yours and accept your fate, or i’ll let my men have their way with ya. N’trust me, doll. They’ll tear you apart the second they get their hands on you.”

“You sick fuck! I’m not going anywhere with you!” You pushed your body further between the two aisle shelves that had collapsed over.

“Ten.”

“You’re insane!”

“Nine.”

“Eight.” He droned with mock enthusiasm.

“C’mon, you ain’t got anywhere else to go. I won’t touch you unless you want me to. Don’t make this fuckin’ harder for yourself than it needs to be. My patience is runnin’ thin, and the clock is tickin’ away, little lamb.”

“I am not your little lamb, you fuckin’ monster!”

His eyes rolled in pure annoyance as you listened intently to the unmistakable clicking sound of his gun cocking.

“Seven.”

“Six.”

What other choice did you really have? Allow yourself to be violated, and god knows what else by this man’s men, or accept your fate and become his ‘pet.’ Just the thought alone sent a wave of nausea knocking through your system.

“Wait, wait! Please!” You nearly begged as you pulled yourself free from your hiding spot. You dropped your pocket knife to the floor with a clink as you held your hands above your head.

His smirk was nothing short of menacing as he took immediate notice to the terrified glassy look in your eyes.

“Don’t be frightened, little lamb.” He crooned

“You’re safe, and no harm will be done to you. However, my men will be deeply disappointed to hear that I have decided to take you as my own.”

God, this man was sick, but there was no turning back now. No escape route. No plan. No hope. Maybe he was just bluffing. Maybe his plan was to kill you when you’d least expect it. Maybe this was all just a game of cat and mouse for him; you being the helpless little mouse.

“You swear that you’re not going to touch me?” You eyed his outstretched hand warily.

“My darlin’ little lamb, you have my word. Although, I will have to pat you down. Y’know, to make sure you ain’t have anythin’ on ya. Oh, and don’t think I'm playin’ stupid either. Cus’ if you try’n kill me? I’ll make you wish that you had never been born. You have no idea what I am capable of, and my token of kindness only can stretch so far. Jus’ be good, and I won’t have to send a pretty thing like you six feet under. Got it?” His tone was sharp and straight to the point as his brow raised in your direction. You couldn’t even begin to fathom what this man was capable of.

You reluctantly took his hand as he hoisted you up from the grime infested floor. Not a second later did he have your back pinned securely against his broad chest as he held the sharp tip of your knife expertly against your jugular. All he would have to do was apply a tad bit of pressure in order to make a fatal incision. You could feel his lips ghosting against the shell of your ear. His voice dropped an octave as he whispered, “Oh, and if you even think about tryn’ to run from me? I will hunt you down. Do I make myself crystal fuckin’ clear, little lamb?”

You struggled considerably in his constricting grip. A hiss slipped past your lips when the tip of the blade pricked your skin, blood beaded along the surface before slowly trickling down the column of your throat. “Fuck you, asshole.” You nearly whimpered when the blunt ends of his fingernails dug fiercely into your hips. He was unmoving like a mountain, or a slab of concrete. (whichever you prefer)

“That ain’t my name, little lamb.” He tuts before dipping his head down along the clavicle of your neck. His curls gently tickle your chin before you feel his hot tongue poke out and lick up the droplets of blood from your skin. You involuntarily inhaled a harsh breath as his lips harshly sucked on the entry wound. You heard a tiny grunt rumble up his chest before he uttered, tone thick and raspy, “It’s Joel.”

Joel fucking Miller.

His teeth nipped and scraped at your torn skin as his grip around you tightened. “Silly, silly, little lamb. You’ve gone and nicked yourself. Be good, and I’ll let you breathe.”

“Please, please let go of me, Joel. Please. You’re hurting me.” Your voice came out strained as you ultimately gave up on struggling in his steel-like grasp.

“There ya go. That’s a good little lamb.” He cooed as he loosened his grip around you. He had forgotten all about needing to pat you down as he slowly lowered your knife from its present position on your neck. He tucked it away in his own backpack for safe keeping. You were dumb to think that he’d let you have it back.

“Now that we’ve gotten the painfully hard stuff outta the way, y’can relax. So stiff.” He tsked as he nudged you forward. “You’ll be pleased to hear that I’m not a complete barbarian. Got a cabin with workin’ plumbing! Imagine that.” He chuckled amusedly.

You were far from amused as you crossed your arms over your chest protectively as he nudged you forward. Your feet worked on autopilot as his domineering presence was close behind you. “That’s nice, Joel. I could frankly fucking care less where you live.” You snapped in a sharp quick tone.

“Oh? Well, perhaps you’d rather fuckin’ sleep outside, chained to a tree like a goddamn dog.” he snapped back, quicker than you had expected.

“Yeah?” You scoffed. “Well, maybe I would much rather be chained to a fucking tree than breathe the same disgusting air as you.” So much for not pushing this man's buttons.

He laughed, and you could feel his hot breath tickling the hair along the back of your neck.

“As tempting as that sounds, how am I supposed to protect you if you’re chained to a tree?” He was smirking rather sadistically. You couldn’t see his face, but you just knew he was grinning through his teeth. “Besides, wouldn’t you much rather sleep in a warm, cozy bed, little lamb? I bet it’s been awhile since you’ve experienced that kinda comfort, hmm?” He knew he was toying with you and it was becoming increasingly difficult to not stand your ground.

“I don’t need your protection. I don’t want anything to do with it, and for the love of God, would you stop fucking calling me little lamb?”

“Y’know, the more you fight this, the worse it’s going to be. You oughta be thankin’ me. Y’know why? I could fuckin’ take you right here, right now. I can shove you to the ground and have my way with you, little lamb. You can scream and cry all you want, but there’s not a goddamn thing you could do to stop me. You’re defenseless, and apparently missing quite a few marbles in that brain of yours. I suggest you shut the fuck up, and keep movin.’” In the midst of your quarrel, he had silently removed his gun from the holster around his hips, and you could feel the cool metal of the barrel pressing into the back of your neck.

You froze purely out of fear as your mouth went dry. No words fell from your once confident tongue as he nudged you forward once more.

“Yeah, that’s what I fuckin’ thought.” He hissed.

You were in fact shocked to see that Joel and his men didn’t live in filth and grime like you expected. Even moreso, it didn’t appear that they had stowed away any prisoners in their camp. This newfound knowledge was both comforting, and unsettling. Joel’s cabin was the furthest from the rest of the group. Tucked away in a grouping of evergreens. If you hadn’t known any better, you’d think he was just some lone survivor too. You surveyed the surrounding area silently as he unlocked the front door. You could run..but how far would you manage to get? He’d hunt you down no doubt. Your body was already running off pure adrenaline. It had been weeks since you had a proper meal.

“Home sweet home.” He chimed as he gave you a rough jolt forward. Your legs nearly buckled from the surprised movement as you stumbled inside. The heavy wooden door swung shut as he locked it behind him.

“I imagine you must be starvin’ huh?”

“Nope.”

He rolled his eyes as he slung his backpack along one of the hooks on the wall. “Uh-huh. You ain’t all that of a liar, little lamb. Look, if I were in your situation, i’d suck it the fuck up and be grateful for my generous hospitality. Y’wanna starve? Be my fuckin’ guest, but don’t say I didn’t try to feed ya.” He huffed as he strode past you, shoulder brushing yours roughly as he disappeared into the kitchen.

You stood there dumbly in the middle of the entryway as you subconsciously scratched at your arm. “Hey..uh, Joel?” You sounded timid and unsure of yourself but given the present circumstances, that was to be expected.

His head peeked around the corner as he made eye contact with you. “Yes, little lamb?”

Can he fucking quit it with that nickname already?

“So, I was wondering if it was possible for me to uh–shower? I’ve been traveling for weeks and I just figured you probably wouldn’t want me stinking up your bed? Just want to make sure I'm being a good pet for you.” You nearly gagged from your compliant words, but if you played your cards right, maybe you’d make it out of this alive.

His slow growing smirk was a tell-tale sign that he was buying your faux submission. Ruthless or not, he was still a man at the end of the day.

“Sure. S’not a problem at all. Y’need help findin’ your way? Jus’ down the hall n’to the left. I’ll leave some clothes out for ya as well. Think you’ve worn those things to ruin.” He casually gestured to your tattered clothing.

“Yeah, well..beggars can’t be choosers now can they?”

“No, they can’t.” He agreed.

You stared at one another a moment longer before you padded off down the hall. You could feel his eyes burning into the back of your head until you turned the corner. You paused momentarily to listen for his footsteps. Only when you were convinced he didn’t follow you, did you finally release a shaky breath. Just be good, and you’ll get out of this one way or another.

Joel’s bathroom was insipid in decor, but that came as to no surprise. It’s not like he had any reason to embellish the space with flowers or any other domestic shit. At least the towels looked fairly clean, and the shower head looked durable. You could have shed tears of joy when you turned the faucet handle and a steady stream flowed through the shower head. The water had a slightly oxidized odor from the well, but it wasn’t ice cold; more like room temperature. You wasted no time to shred your thin layers of clothing and discard them to the cool tile beneath your feet. Your nipples pebbled and grew taught under the cooling stream of water along your skin. You feel the filth and grime slowly wash away and stain the water a murky brown color from the debris. You were pleasantly surprised to find a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo that was undoubtedly expired, but it would suffice.

The towel you wrapped around your body was a bit coarse and itchy from being utilized so many times. You kept your hand firmly wrapped around the front of the towel to prevent it from slipping down your still damp body. As you reached for the door handle you found shortly after that there was something blocking your ability to open it all the way. You took a deep breath as you prepared yourself for the inevitable..clothes? There just outside of the door, folded nicely in a pile, was a shirt and pants waiting for you.

Joel was busy putzing around the kitchen as he prepared a well-deserved meal for the two of you. He was already convinced that you were warming up to him (finally). Or, perhaps you were just too exhausted to put up a solid fight. Either way, he was going to continue to use his generous hospitality to his advantage. Match point.

“Well, don’t you clean up nice.” He mused from where he was standing as you appeared from down the hall.

“Shower was pretty decent.” You mumbled in response.

“Go on and make yourself at home.” He gestured to the small kitchen table with two handcrafted wooden chairs. “Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes.”

“I already told you, I'm not hungry.”

“Still playin’ the stubborn game, are we? What happened to the whole ‘I want to be a good pet for you, Joel?’” he dropped the kitchen knife he was presently holding onto the countertop as he made air quotes with his fingers.

“Why the hell would you think for a second that I'm going to trust you all of a sudden? I don’t want shit to do with your food.”

“Mmm. I see. S’you jus’ thought oh, i’ll just use his shower and shit will be all peachy keen? Sit your fuckin’ ass down at that table right now.” He wasn’t asking, he was demanding.

“Oh, gee. You’re too kind! Giving me somewhere to finally rest my fucking feet.” You muttered sarcastically under your breath as you plopped down onto the chair finally.

Seconds later a plate was placed down in front of you. The smell was absolutely mouthwatering. Seared venison, potatoes, gravy and bread. This was a real hearty meal that you could only dream of having. It reminded you of Sunday dinner’s back at your parents when you were struggling to pay your rent off every month. You’d have leftovers for days thanks to them.

You suspiciously eyed your captor as he took the seat across from you and began to indulge in the meal he had prepared. You remained skeptical as your arms crossed over your chest defiantly.

“It ain’t poisoned if that’s what you’re thinkin.’ Why the hell would I be eating poisoned food? Besides, how are you supposed to keep my bed warm if you’re fuckin’ dead, little lamb?” He grumbled as he pointed his fork in your direction.

“I don’t know. Maybe a sick fuck like you is into that sorta thing. You don’t actually expect me to believe that you have a moral compass, do you?”

“Oh, you’re right on the head with that one. Just below your feet I have bodies stashed for safekeeping. Oh, and some are buried out back in the woods. You’ll find bones scattered about the property.” he stated nonchalantly as he leaned over the table with his eyes locked on yours. “Y’know what I love most? I love it when they scream and beg for their pathetic little lives to be spared. They all try to escape, but they never get very far. I give them all a fair head start jus’ to give them that false hope that they’re going to make it out of this alive.” He stabbed a piece of venison with his fork before popping it into his mouth.

Your blood curdled like rotten milk as you went to push your chair back. You were startled from the sound of his knife being embedded into the wood with a harsh thud. “Don’t you even fuckin’ think about it.” He hissed.

“Are you fucking serious?! You have dead bodies under the fucking floorboards?! So, this was your plan all along?! Make me play house with you till you get bored and decide to butcher me?!”

“No.” he deadpanned. “I was not bein’ serious. But, since you think i’m some sick fuckin’ monster that stashes women away to murder them, I decided to play into your little scenario. Now, fuckin’ eat your goddamn food. Or by God I will fucking pin you down and shove it down your throat.”

You truly could not tell if he was bluffing or not, but by the darkened appearance of his pupils, your brain was literally screaming at you to just pick the fucking fork up and eat. So, that’s exactly what you did. Fuck, this was the best thing you tasted in a long time.

When the sun began to set and cast a soft orange glow through the cabin windows, your nerves were on high alert when you faced the realization that you’d have to sleep in the same bed as this man. Your plate was nearly licked clean as he removed it from in front of you. He could sense your unease from a mile away. It was as if he could smell the fear leaking from your pores.

“Go on and get some rest, little lamb. I’ll be there in a few. Oh, and by the way, I prefer to sleep naked. I hope that doesn’t pose a problem for you.” He shot a flirty wink in your direction before you were immediately pushing your chair back.

Fucking peachy.

It wasn’t difficult to find his bedroom as it was the only other room in the mid size cabin. You would have much rather have slept on the uncomfortable hardwood floor than to share a bed with him. However, based on how he acted at the dinner table..you really didn’t want to stretch your luck, if you’d even call it that, any further.

The semi-comfortable mattress brought instant relief to your aching back and shoulders. A comfort short lived as you listened attentively to the faint footsteps approaching the door. Joel was surprisingly quiet as he slipped into the room like a shadow in the night. He barely acknowledged your presence as he shuffled to the unoccupied side of the bed. The mattress creaked beneath his weight as he sank down along it.

You laid there unmoving, quiet like a mouse as your eyes squeezed shut from the familiar shrill sound of the metal clasp of his belt clinking. His jeans hit the floor with a soft thud as a silent tear slowly rolled down your cheek. He yanked his shirt over his head in one swift movement before he kicked his boxers down his ankles. You heard him let out a faint sigh as he scrubbed his hand down his patchy beard. You waited for the moment that he would pounce..but it never came as he slowly swung his legs onto the mattress with a soft grunt as he settled back into the pillows. His cock hung heavy between his thighs as he shifted positions ever so slightly. “G’night, little lamb. Sleep tight.” He crooned softly.

Wait..that’s it? No no. What the hell was going on? Didn’t he say he would–

“Goodnight, Joel.” You whispered as you rolled over so your back was facing him. You were on the very edge of the mattress, as far away as you possibly could be from him.

Joel was more than willing to play the long game with you. He was in no rush, and toying with your already fragile mind was part of the fun. He did swear that he wouldn’t touch you without your consent, but he never said anything about not touching himself. He was, after all, a lonely man in some capacity. Perhaps that’s why he had no shame to slowly wrap his fist around the base of his cock while you were laying just a few feet away. He trapped his lower lip between his teeth as he dragged his thumb across the ruddy head, collecting a bead of precum that had weeped from the narrow slit. He twisted his hand slowly as a grunt bubbled up his throat. He pulled his hand back only to filthily spit on it in order to create some lubrication. His head tilted back against the pillows as his mind ran rampant through his filthy desires. “Fuck, that’s it little, lamb.” He hissed between his teeth, digging his heels into the mattress as his cock grew hard and swollen in his grasp.

You could vaguely hear the rustling of the sheets through your light slumber. You thought maybe you were experiencing some vivid dream when you detected Joel’s soft grunt and the unmistakable sound of him spitting into his hand. It felt like your body was betraying you and riding off into the deep end as your thighs subconsciously clenched together. His sounds of gratification only seemed to spur your now awake body to relieve itself in some capacity as your hand slowly snaked down between your thighs. It had been longer than you could remember since you last shared a bed with someone. Perhaps this was all based purely on animalistic instincts as your fingers dipped beneath your panties. Your clit was throbbing for attention as your fingertips skated across it. You bit down on the inside of your cheek hard to suppress a whimper from slipping out, but it was audible enough for Joel to hear it. Once you started, there was no going back as your fingers worked your clit in slow circular motions.

Joel was shocked to say the least. So much so, that his hand had stilled around his cock as he listened to your pathetic little whimpers that you were desperately trying to suppress. You being so unpredictable to him was an absolute turn on. He couldn’t believe that his dirty little lamb was shamelessly playing with herself. Maybe you and him weren’t so different after all. His cock twitched against his stomach as he imagined just how tight your little pussy would hug him, and that’s all it took for him to shred his remaining morale. “What’re you doin’ over there, little lamb?” He whispered through the pale moonlight that casted shadows across the bed frame.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You scrambled to remove your hand from between your thighs as a sense of embarrassment and dread washed over you. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks from the excitement and adrenaline rush of being caught.

“Don’t stop on my account, dirty little lamb. You sounded so desperate to come. Why deprive yourself of that pleasure?” He hummed through his teeth as he gave the base of his cock a firm relieving squeeze. “Or are you seekin’ some assistance? I’d be happy to help..can’t leave your pussy hanging on the edge for that long, little lamb. She deserves better treatment than that.” He tsked disapprovingly.

it was as if a lightbulb had suddenly flashed in your brain. Yes, use this to your advantage. This is what he wants, right? Give it to him. Make him think that you’re submissive. Fuck him stupid and leave when he’s sleeping. Play his game better than he is.

“It hurts.” You pouted as tears of frustration began to slowly drip down the corners of your eyes. You did have to sell the part after all.

“Oh, baby. Don’t cry. I know it hurts..bet it’s been so long since your cunt has been properly taken care of, hmm? When’s the last time she’s been stretched out by a cock?” He asked softly as you felt the mattress dip down from him slowly roll over onto his elbow so he was facing you.

“It’s been too long, sir. I can’t even remember the last time I was properly filled up by a cock. I miss that feeling so much. Will you help me, please? I want you to take care of me, Joel.” You nearly moaned out a plea as your thighs rubbed together beneath the sheets.

Joel’s rough exterior had seemingly melted into a puddle of liquid as you nearly begged him. Who was he to say no to a person in need? Here you were, so willing, so compliant, so submissive, and right where he wanted you to be. “Oh, my poor little lamb. It’s been that long for you? Perhaps I’ll just have to remind your cunt just how good it feels to be properly filled up by a cock, hmm? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Please, Joel. Please remind me how good it feels to be filled up by a cock. I want you to stretch me out..I want to feel you everywhere..think you can handle that, sir?” You were already reaching for his hand as he scooted closer to where your body was laying. You guided his hand between your thighs so he could feel just how wet you were for him. “Please, can’t you feel how wet I am? Please make me feel good, sir.”

His eyes nearly rolled back into his skull from your desperation and neediness as his fingers lightly traced the seam of your panties where he could feel the wetness pooling through the fabric. “I’ll take real good care of you, little lamb. You’re in good hands. We’ll have to take these off so I can get a good look at ya. Bet she’s so fuckin’ pretty. Dyin’ to have a peek.”

He’s a goner.

She’s a goner.

“Take them off, please.” You whimpered as his hands grasped the hem of your panties and slowly pulled them down your thighs. His pupils dilated from the sight of the fabric sticking to your puffy wet pussy. His mouth watered from the sight alone as he discarded your ruined panties to the floor. You felt the warm embrace of his hand wrap around the inside of your thigh as he coaxed it across his lap so he could spread you nice and wide. “Oh, fuck. Look at how swollen she is. Must hurt so much.” He pouted with furrowed brows. “Such a pretty fuckin’ pussy. I cannot wait to ruin her, my little lamb.” At this angle you were entirely exposed to his greedy eyes as you watched his hand travel southward once more. He used his middle and forefinger to spread your folds open so he could get a better view of your swollen little clit. He appeared to be mesmerized as your tight wet little hole involuntary clenched inwards.

Your moans were anything but fake as his thumb slowly worked your clit into tight circles. He wasn’t lying about the fact that you certainly were in good hands. You were wet enough as it is, but he felt that extra lubrication couldn’t hurt as he spat a glob of saliva between his fingers and rubbed it in. He soon had two fingers knuckle deep inside of you as he slowly curled them inwards. “Gotta get you nice and relaxed for me, baby. I don’t wanna hurt ya, and you’re being such a good little lamb for me. I think I’ll just have to reward you for that. How does that sound?” His eyes drifted upwards so he could see your face twist with pleasure as your toes curled inwards.

“Oh, sir.” You moaned wantonly. “That feels so fucking good. Please don’t stop. I promise I’ll keep being your good little lamb. Can you show me your cock, Joel? I want to see it. I bet it’s so big..what if it doesn’t fit?”

He shifted his hips upwards so you could get a good look at his dick. He watched your eyes widen the slightest at the sight of him. Heavy set balls, dark coarse hair, and by far the thickest cock you had ever feasted your eyes upon. “Shh, we’ll make it fit. It’ll feel so fuckin’ good once I’m stretching you out, little lamb. You just gotta trust me. Can you do that for me, baby? Can you trust me?”

“Mhmm. I can trust you, sir. I know you’ll take extra good care of me. Please don’t make me wait much longer..please be good to me.”

He pressed a reassuring kiss to your temple as he felt the walls of your pussy clench down around his thick digits. The squelching sound sent blood quickly flowing southwards as his cock twitched against his thigh. As soon as he slipped his fingers out of you, he knelt between your thighs with one hand wrapped firmly around the base of his cock as he twisted his wrist a couple times. His freehand was wrapped around the underside of your thigh as he brought it around his shoulder with your heel resting along his firm shoulder blade. “Good little lamb. I’m goin’ fill this pretty little pussy up just the way that she deserves, okay? See, I told you that bein’ my pet wasn’t gonna be so bad. I knew you’d warm up to me eventually.” He mumbled under his breath as he slowly dragged his tip between your folds, rutting his hips forward slowly. The tip of his cock bumped against your already sensitive clit with each gentle thrust.

Your brain felt like a scrambled egg that was being mentally toyed and fucked with. This sick man could have easily fucked you like a rag doll into his mattress, and instead he was choosing to take things slow. Why? You couldn’t wrap your head around his reasoning, or if this was truly just another piece to his game, but Jesus fuck, there was no denying that it felt fucking incredible.

Your words came out like slurred jarble as your mouth slowly felt open when you felt him slowly start to sink inside of you, stretching you open, filling you up just like his promise. It felt like his cock was splitting you in two the further he pressed into you. He coaxed you gently when you clawed at his forearms. Shushing you with featherlight kisses to your cheekbones when he had bottomed out. Your leg fell limp around his shoulder when he had slowly pulled his hips back before jutting them forward.

He was fucking you deliciously deep as the matress squeaked from the movement. He was watching your face for any signs of discomfort as you struggled to figure out where he started, and where he ended. Your pussy hugged him tight as it drew him in deeper with each thrust. His hand nearly engulfed your hip as his thumb lightly pressed down along your lower abdomen where he could feel the tip of his cock just barely kissing your cervix. “Can you feel me right there, little lamb? You’re doing so good for me. So fuckin’ good. Tightest little pussy I’ve ever had. She’s huggin’ me so good.” His grunts mixed with your sharp moans as you struggled to not completely throw your plan out the window. In this position it was hard to gain any sense of control; it was time to switch things up.

“Joel, baby.” You mewled softly as your hips rolled forward to meet his thrusts. “I wanna try something that I think you’ll really like..I wanna be on top. You must be so exhausted from dealing with me all day..why don’t you lay back and I’ll do all the work?” You suggested with a harsh breath as he leaned down over you. You could feel the broad weight of his chest pressing down against you as his lips brushed across the shell of your ear, “that’s the best idea you’ve had all goddamn day, little lamb.”

Even after your handsome offering, he wasn’t quite ready to slip out of your warmth just yet. Now that he had a taste, there was no way in hell that he was about to let you go from his grasp. He had consumed you completely to the point where it felt like you were being suffocated by his sheer mass and the way he managed to hit that spongy spot inside of you with every profound intense induced thrust. His wiry patchy beard scraped at the soft skin of your cheek as he drove himself further. “Jus’ gimme a little more time with ya like this. You feel so fuckin’ good around me. Jus’ a little longer.” He stuttered between harsh jagged breaths that fluttered across the shell of your ear. His teeth nipped, scraped at the skin as the musty scent of his sweat melded into yours. Skin on skin: with no point of relief.

When he finally began to slowly slip out of your tight wet walls, it appeared that your body was reluctant to let go of him based on the way your pussy clenched around him tightly like a fist. He chuckled low and deep as he watched a mixture of your release and his own leak out of your tight fucked out hole. It glistened along the apex of your thighs, trailing down your skin, dripping along the once unsoiled comforter.

“My my, little lamb. You’ve gone and made quite the mess of yourself hmm?” He teased as he slowly dragged his pointer finger through the mixture of fluids as if he was creating an erotic painting, and his finger was the steady brush.

Focus. Focus. Focus. Your brain chanted at you relentlessly.

“Hnngh..mhm..i’ve made such a mess of myself, sir. Will you please clean me up?”

He smirked cruelly through the pale moonlight that danced across your skin as he scooted himself back on his knees, his cock brushing against the comforter and creating just enough stimulation for him to be satisfied for the time being. “Well, since you asked so nicely, I suppose I can give you an itty-bitty reward.” He mused as his eyes locked in on your glistening pussy just begging to be kissed. Your lashes fluttered when you felt his hot breath fan your core. Might as well get all the use out of him that you could get.

He pressed open mouth kisses to the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. Sucking, licking, kissing around where you craved him most. The second those sinful lips latched onto your swollen clit, a carnal need washed over both of you as he devoured you whole. His tongue worked you in languid strokes as he made sure to lick up every last drop. Your orgasm was steadfast approaching as the coil in your stomach tightened. Your thighs clamped firmly around his head like a stubborn shell. If it were any other situation, you’d let him eat you for hours, days even, but you had to stick to your plan.

He wasn’t letting up easily as you used all your strength to push his head from between your thighs. His beard and lips were coated in your slick as he finally released you from his death grip. There was no time to catch your breath as his strong arms were already hosting you into his lap as he lazily rolled over onto his back with a soft grunt.

“Keep bein’ my good little lamb, and you’ll wake up every mornin’ with my head between your thighs.” He nearly purred as his hands anchored themselves around your hips. You could feel the head of his cock notching at your entrance as you slowly sank down against his bulky strong thighs. It took a mere moment for you to snap back into character and keep up with your charades as you wrapped your hand firmly around the base of his cock. “I’m going to take care of you now okay, Joel? You’ve been so good to me. I’m so grateful for your generous hospitality and your cock. I just want you to sit back and relax..can you do that for me, baby?” You held all the control in the palm of your hand as you slowly slid his tip between your slit. Your little noises of appreciation had his head spinning in circles as he squeezed your hips firmly.

“M’gonna keep you forever, just like this. Stuffed full of my cock. Filled to the fuckin’ brim.” He hissed between his teeth as you slowly inched yourself around him till he had filled you to the hilt. “M’so lucky to have a good little lamb like you, baby. My good little cockslut. It ain’t so bad, is it? Mmm..maybe you and I are more alike than you think.” He murmured with a lazy grin etched on his face as he gazed up at you through thick lashes.

“Of course i’ll be your good little lamb forever and ever, sir.” You played along as you slowly rolled your hips forward. “I’ll be so good to you just like you have been to me.” Now you had him right where you wanted him and it was only a matter of time. You affectionately played with his sweat stained curls, licked the musk from his neck as you inhaled his masculine aroma that seeped from his pores. You nipped at his flesh and left little love bites speckled across his skin. You fucked him the best way that you could, spending what was left of your dwindling energy to convince this man that you were submitting to him entirely. Each roll of your hips, and smack of your skin transported him to a new state of pure ecstasy. He didn’t last very long considering he was fairly spent himself. He let out a deep guttural animalistic grunt that ruptured from deep within his chest as he spilled his seed into you. He could feel both yours and his release drip down between where your bodies were connected. He praised in a soft tone, mumbling about how he was going to fall asleep just like this. “Y’stay right there, little lamb. Gonna keep you stuffed full of my cock all night.” He rasped as his lashes fluttered shut.

By all means, sir. Keep me stuffed full of your cock, because come morning, you’ll be waking up to an empty, cold, miserable bed. You fucking idiot.

He dozed off, still buried deep inside of your cunt as you sat there obediently. You listened to the sound of his breathing return to a normal rate as soft snores slipped past his parted lips. Only when you were certain that he wouldn’t awake from his sex induced slumber, did you finally slip off of his lap. You could feel the sticky residue of his come latching onto your thighs as his cock went soft. You gathered up the clothes he had given you as you rushed to dress and get the hell out of there. You were as quiet as a mouse as you crept out of his room. Your eyes zoned in on the rifle hanging along the hook next to the door.

You were so close to freedom you could almost taste it as you unlatched the door and began to slowly push the handle down–

“Where are you runnin’ off to, little lamb?” His tone was low and menacing as you felt the hardness of his chest press against your back. In one swift movement he had pulled the door shut with a heavy slam that rattled your bones to the core. You went to reach for his rifle but he was on you in a flash as he twisted your arms painfully behind your back. He knocked you forward against the wooden door with your cheek pressed firmly into the rough texture of the wood. When you didn’t respond to his original question, he asked again, but a lot less nicer.

“I said, where the fuck do you think you’re runnin’ off to, little lamb? Y’think you can play me for a goddamn fool?!” He bellowed. His harsh words bounced off the walls of the cabin as you struggled in his painful grip. “After I fed you, put clothes on your back and fucked you dumb, you think you can jus’ fuckin’ leave?!”

“Sir, I'm so sorry! You have it all wrong! I—just wanted to get some fresh air! I was going to come right back, I swear!” You took the pleading route in hopes that maybe he’d show you just a smidge of mercy. “I’d never leave you!”

He laughed darkly as he shoved you further into the door, creating little to no space for you to breathe. “Fuckin’ save it. You’re a goddamn filthy liar, little lamb! You were leavin’ me! What a fuckin’ shame too because you were being so so good. Pity, because I was actually thinking of letting you go myself.” He lied straight through his teeth as he forced his knee between your thighs and spread them apart. His hand that wasn’t holding your wrists painfully together wrapped around your middle as he yanked you roughly against his chest. His lips were right at your ear now. “You were being such a good little lamb for me, that I was beginning to feel sorry for taking you away..I was going to let you go first thing in the morning, but you just had to go and fuckin’ ruin it for yourself, huh?” He tsked

Fresh tears began to cascade down your face as you continued to try and break free. Your hope was quickly diminishing like a candle being blown out as he twisted your wrists at an unnatural angle. “PLEASE!” You begged, “I’m so sorry, sir! Please don’t kill me! I–I–can make it up to you, I swear!”

“Kill you? Oh, my dear sweet little lamb, you really haven’t been payin’ attention, have you? I’m not going to kill you. You’re far too pretty to be feasted on by some critters. That simply won’t do.” His hand that was securely wrapped around your middle snaked upwards as he roughly groped your breast through the fabric of your shirt. “Quit your fuckin’ squirming. You ain’t gettin’ yourself outta this one, little lamb.”

“Please, please let me go! I’m–I'm sorry for not being a good pet! I can do better! Please, Joel! You’re hurting me!” You cried out for mercy.

“Now, you’re gonna sit still and be a good little lamb, or I'll feed you to the wolves just outside my door.” He whispered harshly as he dropped his hand from around your breast only to then find the button on your pants before he yanked them down your thighs. Your pussy was sore and overstimulated when he pressed the ruddy head of his cock between your thighs. “Can’t you hear ‘em howlin?’ Bet they’re fistin’ their cocks right now thinkin’ about how your pretty little cunt would hug them so tight. S’only for me, right? This cunt belongs to me. Don’t fuckn’ gimme a reason to share.” He hissed as he harshly thrusted up into you, knocking the air from your lungs as his hand wrapped around your throat.

Your words came out as strangled cries as he continued to ram into you. “Can’tcha hear ‘em now? Beggin’ for this cunt. C’mon, little lamb. Scream for me. Let them know just how good daddy is treatin’ ya. Don’t you fuckin’ hold back.” His thumb and forefinger pressed firmly against your trachea making it harder for oxygen to reach your brain as your body went into distress mode. The more you fought, the tighter he held you. When you could begin to see stars dancing behind your eyelids, and your breath came out in a weak wheezing sound, he finally released you from his death grip.

You buckled over, gasping for air as your knees hit the floor with a sickening thud.

“Don’t you ever try to outsmart me again, little lamb.” He was standing over you like an ominous shadow as choked sobs raked through your body.

“Now, get the fuck back to bed, or i’ll drag you there myself.”

You took his threat seriously as you scrambled to your feet and scurried back to his room.

You never crossed him again, and for good reason. He apologized for his actions the next morning over breakfast. You weren’t very hungry, but forced yourself to eat for your own sake. Now you were his broken and submissive little lamb.

He did keep his promise of keeping you safe from all harm. Once enough trust was instilled, he allowed you to accompany him outside. He taught you all that he knew during those months. You found it hard to not begin to fall for him when he showed you his gentler side. It felt wrong, but right at the same time to love a man who was so cruel. He stripped you of your autonomy, and then stitched it right back together with his own needle and thread. You adapted to his lifestyle as if it was the back of your hand. Accompanying him on raids, torturing helpless individuals for the sheer thrill it felt to hold another person’s life in the palm of your hands.

Maybe you were sicker than he was.

This winter was proving to be unforgiving. Supplies and rations were low, and Joel’s men were growing antsy. Their leader was spending too much time tucked away in his cabin with you, and it was only a matter of time before someone would lash out. You were still fast asleep tucked away cozily in Joel’s warm bed while he called a meeting with the rest of the group.

“I say we head west. There ain’t nothin’ left here for us.” One of his men stated, and heads began to slowly nod in agreement.

“West? Why the hell would we go and do that? We got a decent territory here, and I'm this close to gettin’ us into the QZ. Jus’ have to twist a few more fingers to get us there. This ain’t the worst winter we’ve had. Don’t go and act like a bunch of fuckin’ pussies just because you’re afraid that your dicks are gonna freeze off.” He snapped.

“Easy enough for you to say, Miller. You’re the one who’s got a cockslut keepin’ you warm on the cold nights. What about the rest of us, huh? Can’t be bothered to share your prize?”

Joel could feel his blood begin to simmer as he slowly turned his head to the side. His eyes were narrowed into slits as his fists clenched tightly at his sides. “What the fuck did you jus’ call her?” His tone was eerily calm as he did his best to keep his temper at bay. You were off limits; end of story.

“You heard me. Bet that cockslut of yours was the one who suggested we stay here. That’s why it ain’t good to keep women around for long. They talk and talk and think that they have the answer for everything! Well, you know what I gotta say to that? Keep ‘em around to keep your cock warm and toss ‘em when they grow smart. That’s all they’re good for anyway. Jus’ a tight wet hole to fuck.”

The prominent veins in Joel’s neck bulged to the surface of his neck. His skin was so hot that the swirling flurries that landed on him immediately melted. His face grew red with rage. You were far more than just a hole to fuck. You were his little lamb, and god help any motherfuckers that dare disrespect his little lamb.

“I should fuckin’ carve your tongue out for that. She is not my cockslut.” If Joel’s men were smart, they’d back off while they still had the chance, but men will be men after all.

“Oh, please! Is her pussy really all that? Look at how soft you’ve gone, Miller! I say you dispose of her while you still have the chance. Oh, but before you do that, bring her out for a spin. We’ve been dyin’ to see what her cunt is all about.”

It was as if something inside of Joel had suddenly snapped and he found his hands constricted around the man’s neck. Joel had him pinned to the snow covered ground as the man thrashed around violently. No one dared to try and stop their leader until they heard the crunching of snow beneath boots as your voice drifted through the brewing blizzard like a rumbling echo

Joel’s head snapped in the direction of your voice as he loosened his grip around the man’s neck slightly. “Baby, what the fuck are you doin’ out here? It’s freezing! Get back inside–”

You were quick to cut him off as you approached the scene that was laid out in front of you. You ignored his present concern for your wellbeing as you crossed your arms over your chest. “What the fuck is going on here, Joel?”

“Seth said some shit that he really oughta have kept to himself. S’alright. I got this one handled. Why don’t you go on back home where it’s warm.”

“No. I want you to tell me what he said.” You stood firm

Joel eyed the rest of his men who were all looking much like sheep themselves. “He called you a cockslut, and that all a woman is good for is a tight wet hole to fuck.” He deadpanned.

You appeared unfazed sans the slight arch of your brow. “Really?” You scoffed. “How original. Don’t you think that strangling him is a bit too merciful?”

“Well, before you came out here, I threatened to carve his tongue out.”

“Oh?” You asked with a lopsided grin. “Now that is more your style, baby. Wanna use my knife? I just sharpened it the other day.”

Seth was nervously looking between yours and Joel’s sadistic grins as he struggled to escape. All Joel had to do was snap his fingers once for two of his men to then force Seth down by his shoulders, and physically pry his jaw open as he thrashed wildly on the ground.

“My little lamb, you’re so sick..y’know that?” He was already reaching for your outstretched knife before his hand encased around your wrist and gently tugged you down into the snow. “Front row seat jus’ for you, baby. Don’t worry, he’ll never say another word about you again.” he sealed his promise to you against your lips before he was pulling away to finish off the job.

“S’matter, Seth? Cat got your tongue?” Joel crooned as grabbed the back of his head and yanked it forward. “This oughta teach ya to respect women.”

“Joel–wait! Please don’t do this! I’m sorry! I’m–” Seth’s pleas were violently cut off when Joel sliced right through his tongue. Blood spattered and squirted from the gushing wound as his once attached muscle now laid limp in the snow.

“Oh, what was that? You’re sorry? It’s a bit too late for that, pal.” Joel spat before he picked up the chunk of Seth’s mutilated tongue and tossed it right into the nearby fire pit.

“Get him outta my sight before I decide to rip his throat out too. Tie him up to a tree a few miles from here. Leave him to the wolves. They’ll finish him off.” He demanded his men as he wiped the blood from your knife along Seth’s shirt.

His hand reached for yours to help you up from the ground. You held no shame to admit that watching Joel mutilate someone in front of you so willingly sent a wave of arousal gushing between your clenched thighs, and you probably would have fucked him right then and there and let his men watch because none of that really mattered anymore. You opted to pull him behind a cluster of trees instead as you dropped to your knees ceremoniously in the bitter cold snow that instantly bit at your exposed bare skin. Your hands clawed for his belt as you desperately unlatched it and shoved his jeans down his thighs swiftly. Your cheeks felt cold to the touch as Joel’s hand affectionately held your face in his warm palm as you pulled his stiff cock free. His heart swelled with pure pride for his good little lamb.

banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤍

[danses-with-dogmeat]

I love love love how you write! The little details you add into your reacts are amazing <3 I was hoping to ask if you haven't done so yet, what would the romanced companions say in their own version of the "Hi Honey" holo tape? It could be them making their own tape for any reason or to replace the one the SoSu's spouse made becuase it was destroyed or buried with them, it doesnt matter, just thought that would help the angst/comfort factor 😅 have a good day, love <3

Fallout 4 Companions' Versions of the "Hi, Honey" Tape

Okay, I adore this <3

It's a.... bit more angsty than I meant it to be, but it's all happy and fluffy underneath, so, you know... kinda my forte 😅 And also some of them are... more romanced than others, as you'll see, so just a heads up on that. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Also, I tried kind of a different format for this one, almost like you're reading the subtitles/script for the holotape, so hopefully the unique format makes this one interesting 😁

Oh, and just a quick TW for mention of suicidal thoughts/actions!

Cait:

"Oi, ya fucking-- Does this damn thing even work?"

*exasperated noise*

"Alright. There, I think that's done it."

*muffled adjusting*

"Okay."

*sigh*

"Hey. Sole... I uh, I don't really know how to tell ya everything I'd like to... Before I go through with this, you know. I'm not sure what's goin te happen, but I wanted you to know one thing before I go inte that machine, since... I don't know, I might not come back out as meself. Or, or even at all."

*deep breath*

"I just, in case somethin' happens, I want ya te know..."

(pause)

"I love ya."

*short chuckle*

"I know, sounds strange comin' from me, I'm sure, but... It's the truth. I do, and I have, for a bit, but... I'm not really sure why it took me this long te tell ya. Maybe cuz I was scared. Scared that I'd scare ya away."

*Huff of breath*

"Me? Scared? I know how it sounds, trust me, but it's true. I was... worried about losin' ya. Cuz, truth is, Sole, yer the first person who actually seems to give a damn what happens te me. You know this, I've told ya, I know, but even me own damn parents didn't give a shite about me. An' the ghoul, well, he only ever considered what I could do for him. Knew how to keep me hooked, to keep makin' him money. But you... I had my doubts, I'll be the first to admit, but... You've looked out fer me better than anyone, and you did from the start, with nothin' to gain by doin' so."

(pause)

"I don't know why ye did it. Almost scared me off, the thought of someone bein kind te me fer no reason at all. Thought you were gonna end up worse than all the rest, because there was no way you were just bein' that nice with nothin' te gain from it. But I was wrong. And I've never been so damn glad te be wrong in me whole life."

(pause)

*Deep breath*

"An' I want ye t'know one more thing... I knew about this machine. I knew about it a bit ago. I could've gone with someone else, could've gone on me own, even. Maybe I wouldn't have made it out alive, but it didn't really matter te me at the time. And neither did gettin' clean. I told you I'd been trying to get sober for awhile, but nothin' was workin', and that wasn't a lie, but... Before you, I didn't really want te get clean. There was just..."

(pause)

"There was no point to it. Get clean fer what? I didn't want to feel anythin'. Well, anythin' but the rush of psycho. Couldn't feel anything if I was off it, I was so damn numb to the whole world... But you... you changed that. Somewhere along the way, when I was with you, I felt... somethin' else. I want te feel that again, but I want te feel it all. No psycho, no nothin'. Just you. And I'm hopin' you feel the same, but if you don't... It doesn't matter too much. I just... I wanted you te know."

(pause)

*huff of air*

"So there. I said what I meant to. You heard it. An' whether or not ye feel the same, I... I just hope it means somethin' to ya."

*click*

Curie:

"My love! Look at what I 'ave found! Or... Listen to it, rather."

*giggling*

"But isn't zhis wonderful? I can now tell you 'ow much I love you! Zhough, I do suppose I say it quite often... Still, what better day zhan zhis? I know zhere are many who no longer observe zhis holiday, but it is our first one together and I wanted to do something special. I thought of many possible zhings to gift you, since I feel as zhough I simply could not give you enough!"

*laughter*

"But zhen... I settled on zhis idea... I want you to listen to zhis recording, any time you are not feeling at your best, when I am not around to help you, or whenever else you feel like it, even when I am in zhe room next to you, you will have zhis at your disposal."

"I just want you to know 'ow much I care for you. You are zhe one who saved me, who made me not feel so alone in zhis new world, who helped me not to be afraid. I was afraid, mon amour, you remember. I was afraid to go out on my own, so you stayed close to my side, I was afraid I could never follow my dreams, zhat I could not become who I am today, afraid I would never be able to be with you, to feel all zhat I do when you are near and beside me. I would not be myself without you, I would still be in zhat 'orrible vault, would still be afraid and alone..."

(pause)

"But I am not, and it is thanks to you. You are... zhe most beautiful person I have ever come into contact with. The kindest, the most loving, zhe gentlest, and you are zhe one I love, when I did not know I was capable of such feeling! You made it so, my lovely Sole, and I could not be more grateful to share all zhese new-- all zhese so very human experiences with you. I love you, vers la lune et retour."

*giggles*

"It is amazing zhat I can say such things and mean zhem! I had heard about love, had read about it, and knew of zhe chemicals and such, but to feel it, to say zhese things, to know why I'm saying zhem, who is making me feel zhem, it is a wonderful feeling, mon cheri/e."

(pause)

"Oh!"

*shuffling paper noises*

"And I almost forgot! Comme c'est drôle de moi... I have a poem to read to you! It is one I read from a novel long ago, I had to dig to find it, to make sure it was correct. I did not understand it zhen, not as much as I do now, but now, it is all zhe more beautiful."

*clears throat*

"Je dédie à tes pleurs, à ton sourire,

Mes plus douces pensées,

Celle que je te dis, celles aussi

Qui demeurent imprécisées

Et trop profondes pour les dire"

"I can translate as well! Do not worry! It just sounds so belle en François. What it means is, zhat I dedicate my sweetest thoughts to both your tears and your smiles, all of my thoughts, zhe ones zhat I say to you, and zhe ones I 'ave no words for, zhat are too imprecise. Even zhose thoughts zhat are so deep zhat you cannot say zhem aloud, even zhose go to you, mon amour. I dedicate so much to you, because you 'ave given me so very much since zhe day you and I met. It does seem rather small in comparison, just zhis little poem, after all you 'ave done, but it is zhe truth. I love you so much, my Sole. 'Appy Valentines day."

"Love, Curie."

Danse:

*clears throat*

"I know I'm not very good at these sort of talks in person, and... I'm honestly not sure it'll be any better through this tape. But I feel like I have to try."

"I'm... Well, let me just preface this by saying that I'm sorry for what happened today. You weren't meant to... Well, let's just say that I should've thrown that tape recording away a long time ago. That same day that I recorded it, even. And if it's any consolation, I never paid the contents of it any further mind after our talk at the Bunker. When I think of it now, I..."

*deep sigh*

"Knowing what I do now, what was to come... I can't believe I would've just... Just ended it."

(pause)

"Everything was so jumbled then. After I found out what I was, I felt so lost. My existence, without the Brotherhood, it felt so... purposeless. The words on that tape... they just helped me get everything off my mind. Helped me feel like there was a way out of all that uncertainty, as rash as it may seem in hindsight."

"Then you appeared below the surface. Even with all my defenses... I don't even know why I put them up, if I was just planning to...

*sigh*

"It's not a day I like to remember."

"You are what made it bearable. Not just that day, not just my... whole self discovery, but everything. Without you, I wouldn't have only been dead, but I would have been lost. Everything I truly believe in, all that I've worked for... I felt like less than nothing when it was all stripped away. Along with my identity. My personhood. But these past couple years... you've built me up again. You've made me into something-- someone I can be proud of. Helped me make the difference I thought could only be achieved through the Brotherhood, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you for all that you've given me."

"My life, my belief in myself, the courage to move on when I felt I had nothing, that I was nothing... But I was wrong. I was always wrong. I never had nothing, not even on my darkest days, when I wished beyond reason that I could crawl out of my own synthetic skin. Even on those days, I still had you."

"The day that you confessed your feelings to me was the first day that I began to question a few of the core beliefs of the Brotherhood. With the overwhelming strength and certainty of my own feelings for you, I wondered how the Brotherhood could ever consider me-- my kind, to be soulless abominations. Every day my feelings of fondness for you grow stronger, and every day I stray away from the belief that I'm nothing but a mere machine. I never could've done that without you."

"Ever since the day I met you, I've felt like... somehow, our fates have been tied to one another. Like I was always meant to know you. And it might be strange, to phrase it that way, to think that some... higher power pulled the strings in such a way to ensure our meeting, our friendship, o-our love, but if it hadn't turned out that way... that tape I made would be in the Brotherhood archives, and I would be..."

*exhale*

"I just hope that my presence in your life has yielded even a fraction of the happiness, security and support that you provide me with. If so, it'll all have been worth it."

"I hope what I said on this tape doesn't make you uncomfortable, I-I know the subject matter is quite upsetting, but if I can offer further consolation, the tape in question no longer exists. I erased it, in favor of this message. I thought it would be... symbolic. The way our love for one another, and my dedication to you has erased the negative feelings I had for myself, that almost drove me to complete ruin. I apologize again for what you heard on that tape, and it pains me to know you felt guilt for not being able to do more after my... self discovery. The truth is, Sole, you were the only thing standing between me and the ending that that tape promised for my life, and I could never find a way to thank you for all that you've done for me."

"I love you, Sole. More than I thought could ever be possible, even before finding out that I was a synth."

(pause)

*clears throat*

"Anyway, that was what I felt I had to say. I know it was long winded, and I... well, I never know quite how to end these conversations, but I suppose it's worth saying it again. Thank you, Sole. For giving me my life back. The rest of it belongs to you."

Deacon:

"Csssshhhhk this is your captain speaking, yeah, we're gonna be traveling at around fifty eight thousand feet in a minute here, so just wanted to tell you to get comfortable, drop those trays, get out those peanuts, oxygen masks, space suits, and--"

*muffled laughter*

"No, but anyway... Hey Sole, it's ah, it's me. You're favorite crimefighting deathbunny, and partner in all things inappropriate. I... just wanted to make this... I know we don't have the same type of job security or workers' compensation from before the big booms, so just y'know, like an insurance policy, especially now that there's all this added paperwork with our little developing relationship status, it just felt important, y'know? Another record to dust off one day. And... I wanted to be sure you could always have a way to hear my lovely voice, my bad jokes, my flawless singing, you know, just in case... I know how much you'd miss it."

*sighs*

"Look, I... I know it hasn't always been easy, everything you've been through, to add all my problems to the pile. The trust issues, the compulsive lying, those pesky little intimacy problems that make things extra fun, and... I could go on, but I'm afraid the tape would run out of space."

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is... Thanks. Sole. You're everything I needed and never deserved or expected. I had this plan, this idea of what the rest of my life would be like, and you just--"

*breaks into laughter*

"You just waltzed right into those catacombs and blew those ideas to smithereens. Shot 'em down with your charm and your selflessness and good looks, and man... I didn't stand a chance. I can't believe you chose me. You coulda had anybody. Even Carrington, if you kept at it, but you chose to love me, even with how... difficult it must've been-- must be..."

"I still don't know why you did it, but I've never been more grateful in my life. You're my partner in crime, my fellow deathbunny, my bestie, and now you're my husband/wife?! ... It's crazy. Crazy awesome, and I... I never thought I'd tread that kind of path again, not with anyone, and I wouldn't have... if it weren't for you."

"Ahh, you. You're just... The best, and I love you. I know I don't say it enough, and when I do, I don't sound serious. But no matter how uncomfy it makes me feel to say it aloud, it's true. I love you, Sole."

(pause)

"But alright, bestie, I've gotta go. I'm about to have the best sleepover of my life, with this awesome person, I'm sure you know them, and I'm really feeling like I'm gonna get lucky. You can't see it, but I just winked at you. Anyways, wish me luck, and I'll... I'll see you in the field."

"Deathbunny out."

Gage:

“Hiya there boss… It’s…”

*under his breath* “I hope this damn thing is even recording.”

*snorts*

 “But, it’s me. Jus’ wanted to say some stuff…"

*sighs*

“Look, it’s tough for me, I’m sure you know it more than most, but, it’s tough for me to reach out like this. I never… Well, you know this too Sole, but, I never done this sorta thing before. With the relationship and the… I don’t know, man, the arguments. Before, well, fights like this usually meant the end of things, but you said that ain’t how it’s supposed to be. We’re supposed to work through this shit, somehow, and so I… I guess I figured I’d start with this.” 

*deep breath*

“I’m sorry. Sole. There, okay? I’m sorry for bein’ an asshole, for not givin’ you enough credit, not remembering that yer new to this whole raider thing, this whole Overboss thing. And that… well, you’ve probably never been with someone like me before. I sure as hell’ve never been with somebody like you, but… What can I say? It’s hard to find folks like you out here anyhow. You’re your own breed, boss. And that’s far from a bad thing. Jus’... Well, you know me. If you’re your own breed, I’m a goddamn mutt. I’m rough around the edges, not used to tryin’ to make things work. I’ve solved a hell of a lot more problems with my knife than I have with my words, but… I wanna… Well, I wanna make things work this time ‘round, boss… Sole… I mean, you know how I feel about ya, and I… I ain’t never had anything like this, and I just don’t know how I got along so long without you, cuz… Well, Sole, cuz you just make everything better.”

(pause)

“I mean… my life’s not worth a whole lot, that ain’t no mystery or nothin’, but when yer in it… It feels like somethin’ worth having. Not like the rest of my life, oh… stumblin’ around looking for scraps of quick fixes that could make me forget how little my life really means, but… having something worth holding onto, worth bein’ around for… that’s what it’s like with you.”

*dry chuckle*

“And to think, I was stupid enough to think that one little argument was worth losing all this over. Worth losing the only thing in my life that really makes it worthwhile. Cuz that’s what you are, baby. That’s what you are to me. Even though I don’t say it a whole lot… It don’t mean that I… That I don’t mean it, you know?”

*sigh*

“I can’t be the easiest to get along with, I’m sure. I’m so damn hard-headed most of the time, and I always act like I know what I’m talking about, which… Well, you know that usually ain’t the truth.”

*chuckles*

“But somehow you got the patience for all this. All my shit. And… I may not always be the sharpest knife in the drawer, or whatever the saying is, but I know what I got with you. I know what you’re worth, baby, and it’s more than I got, and I know you bein’ with me at all is a charity, but… Well dammit, I hope I got some worth to you too, cuz I just… I need you now, Sole. I wanna be worth the headache and the patience, and I wanna work through the fights and learn how to make it up to you. I never had this before… I never felt this way about no one. I don’t wanna lose it. I can’t… lose you. Things jus’, well, they just wouldn’t be the same…” 

*deep sigh*

“I know I’m going ‘round in circles a bit here, but you know apologies ain’t really my strong suit. An’ neither is all this mushy stuff, but I’m trying all right? I’m trying for you. And I’m gonna keep on doing that until you tell me you can’t stand it no more. It’s just the kinda reckless, hard-headed, stubborn fool I am, Sole. Gonna keep telling you how you changed it all for me, how you’re so damn incredible it makes my chest hurt, how I… Well dammit. Guess I’ve gotta say it now, huh? Look, there. You did it boss, you got it out of me. Damn near slipped out before I could even catch it too. Nasty little words, but… It’s never been truer. I love you Sole.”

(pause)

*comical sigh*

“And while we’re at it, might as well say I’m sorry again, too. There. You got both outta me. Got it all. There’s nothing left for you to take, baby, all my cards just out on the table like that and I forgot how to fucking bluff.” 

*soft chuckle*

“Nah, but… I mean it, Sole. I ain’t nothin’ without you. Next time we fight, just pull this shit outta your pocket and I’ll shut right up, I promise. And… If I’m ever not sayin’ all that… All that I should, if I’m being an ass like I do sometimes, just listen to this while I’m off sulkin’ somewhere. Cuz it’s true. It’s all true, and no amount of me bein’ pissy or stubborn is gonna change that... Is gonna change the fact that… Well, dammit, I do, I love you, Sole.”

(pause)

“Greedy bastard, you’ve gotten it outta me twice now, so you should be all caught up for awhile… Just don’t use it against me too often, okay? Don’t abuse this shit, or you definitely ain’t gonna hear it as much, I’ll tell ya that.”

*chuckles*

 “Alright, don’t know when this thing is gonna run outta tape, but it’s bound to be close. I’ll, ah, I’ll see ya soon, baby.”

*click*

Hancock:

"Heya, Sunshine. It's, ah, it's me. I know it hasn't been all that long since we've seen each other, and I know you're busy. Hard being the hero all the time, hard being the best person there is in the Commonwealth, I get it. But I wanted to tell ya, that... I miss you. I miss you when we're not together, from the moment I see you leave through the Goodneighbor gate, I'm already turning to tell you how much I'm gonna miss you, before I realize that you're gone. That's how bad it is, sweetheart, I-I talk to you even when you're not here."

*chuckles*

"Maybe it's cuz I'm a little nuts, or something, I don't know. Either way though, when I'm alone like this, jus'... thinking about you, I wish I had a way to hear that pretty voice o' yours. So, I thought we could make somethin' like this. Just a reminder, that I'm thinkin' about ya, I'm wishin' you were here, even though I know it's important that you're away."

*sighs*

"Still doesn't change that I want you back here by my side. Or to be out there with you. Kickin' ass. Making a difference. Watchin' you in action, if you know what I mean, heh. Yeah."

(pause)

"Damn this hurts. I get it. I do. I know you have to be out there. I know I can't go everywhere with you all the time, an' I don't mean to make you feel bad, baby, not at all. Jus' want you to know. Know how much it affects me when you're not here."

*sniffles*

*forced chuckle*

"Fahrenheit even notices. Says I'm no fun when you're not around anymore. She's had to drag me outta bed a few times this week... Yeah."

*shaky breath*

"Sorry 'bout this, Sunshine. Sorry if it doesn't make much sense. Brain's kinda foggy right now. I don't mean to make ya feel bad, you know? Jus'... just wanted you to know."

(pause)

"Shit, already said that, huh? Damn, it's just, it's true. I miss you, I love you, baby, and I want you with me all the time."

*muffled* "Oh Jesus. What are you doing?"

"Nothin,' Fare, go on."

*Fahrenheit* "Who are you talking to?"

"Sole. Now go on. Not done yet."

*Fahrenheit* "Sole? Hancock, Sole's not--"

"I know. Leaving a message for 'em. When they are here."

*sigh*

*door closing*

"Jesus. See? Goin' crazy over here, with her hoverin' over me. Need you, baby."

"Now... what was I sayin'?"

*laughter*

"Sorry it's so all over the place. This is what you do to me."

*a breath*

"There's just one thing I'm gonna ask from you, baby. You can go, I know you've gotta sometimes, just... come back. Alright, Sunshine? Come back to me. Do what you gotta do, but just know, now, that I've got you. You're part of the package. The coat, the hat, my whole look, the talk, my title, everything that makes me, me, now you're in that. I can't--"

*sniffles*

"I can't be without ya. Not for good, ya hear? So all I gotta know, is that you're gonna come back to me. Just... Try and think about that when you're out there on your own. Don't take the risk if you don't have to. You're good, baby. The most selfless person I ever met, and I love that about you, but... don't make the sacrifice, okay? I know I'm bein' selfish, but I ain't a saint like you, so I'd say it's pretty on-brand."

*soft chuckle*

"Just don't... Jus' come back to me. That's all I'm saying. It's all I need, okay, baby? Just need you..."

*sigh*

"Think I should probably let you go now, huh? So you can get back to bein' a badass, an' all that. Just one more thing though, before you set this tape aside... I love you, Sole. Just need you to know that, if you haven't listened to anything else on this tape, just know that. I love you, and... I'll see you soon."

MacCready:

"Geeze I hope this thing works..."

*fiddling noises*

"How do you even know if it's recording? Is that...? Hmm."

(pause)

"Okay. Well, here goes nothing."

*Clears throat*

"Hey, Sole. I, ah, I hope this works, because I've got a few things I wanted to... um, say. Wow, geeze, really off to a good start here, huh? I just hope this dang thing is even recording."

*chuckle*

"But if it is... Well, I just wanted to say... thanks."

*soft sigh*

"Truth is, I wouldn't even be doing this if it weren't for you. Maybe one day, yeah, it was always the plan to go back to Duncan, to be with him, but... I never thought I'd be bringing him back to a family. It was... one of the reasons I think I was putting it off. I mean, what do I have to offer? As a dad I-I'm doing my best, but... Is it enough? Will he be lonely with just me? Can I look after him as well as I want to, as well as he deserves? Is he going to be happy, with just me? And maybe he was, and I worried for nothing, but... With you, the decision was so much easier. And..."

*deep breath*

"Well, without your help, I... I might not even have been able to ask those questions. Duncan might not have... You know."

(pause)

"But you helped me. Even when you barely even knew me."

*laughter*

"I didn't think there was anyone like you out there, who would just help me, and not expect anything in return, I didn't think I'd ever find someone out there worthwhile. I mean, after the Gunners, well, they made it hard to see the good in the world, and even when I met you, I know I was... Well, I was a bit of an ass, huh?"

*chuckles*

"But that didn't seem to phase you. No... I don't think anything I could've done would have scared you away for good, once you saw how badly I needed you."

"And that's why I love you so much, Sole. You put other people before you, and you don't expect a damn thing in return, and it's so... Gosh, it's so weird that you do that, I've never met anyone like that, and I've never met anyone like you, and I didn't think, honestly... I never thought I'd be able to fall for someone again, after everything, but... I never saw you coming. And I mean... I'm a sniper. So I've got good eyes, you know."

*breaks into laughter*

"Sorry for that one. Sort of. But I can see that face, without you even being here, I can see that amused but... disappointed look you give me when I make those bad jokes. Those 'dad jokes' as you call them."

*more chuckling*

"I love you so much, baby. I didn't think I'd ever be able to say those words again. To say those words and-and mean them, but I can. And... I know you felt the same way, about loving again, after everything you've lost, but... I'm glad you found me. In that dingy old underground bar, where I almost got my butt whooped by those Gunner clowns, where I was spending all my hard-earned caps trying to drown out my problems... You pulled me out of that, and probably saved my life... No, you did save it, cuz without you, if I'd lost Duncan too, I just... Yeah, I wouldn't have been able to go on much longer if I didn't have him. If I didn't have you."

*sniffs*

"But he's going to be..."

*laughs*

"Just so excited to meet you, I mean, I've told you about him, he's just so adventurous and playful, and even when he couldn't talk at all, he loved meeting new people, and he's- god, he's gonna love you. And I'm gonna have my work cut out for me, cuz, I mean... you think I'm cute? Just wait, I mean, I'm never gonna see you again, you're just gonna want to run off with him and leave me behind, I mean-- his eyes, Sole, they're so blue, and his little cheeks, and gosh, there's nothing I love more than him... than you, too, and the thought of you two together? Heck, I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself, I'm not going to be able to handle it all. To handle... for the first time in so long, being actually... happy. Being part of a family again..."

*exhale*

"You know... I think you know that it... It makes me nervous. To be so happy. To have so much to lose, but... I know that you know what that's like. And I just- I just can't wait for us all to be a part of it. No matter how scary it is, or how strange it'll feel to have it again, to have a family, but have it be different, but... I'm so glad it's with you. And I just... I can't wait to see you, baby. Can't wait for you to see him."

*a breath*

"Just promise me... promise me you won't... leave."

*sniffs*

"...That you won't run off with Duncan and leave me behind. I promise, there's enough of him for both of us i-if we ration, you know?"

*teary laughter*

"We can share him, just... Just stay safe, for me, Sole, okay? I don't want-- I can't lose... I just... can't do this alone."

*deep breath*

"But, ah, anyway, I'll see you soon, okay Sole? I'll see you when I-- when we get back. I love you, and the next time we're together... we'll be a proper family."

Nick:

"Hey there, Sole. It's ah, it's your Nick here. Just wanted to make somethin' for ya, to help get you through these next few... days, maybe. I know this isn't gonna be easy, but I want you to know, I'm proud of you. You did it. You made it where no one thought you ever could, and hopefully, it pays off."

*low sigh*

"God, I hope it does. If there's anyone out there who deserves it, it's you. But we both know it doesn't always work that way..."

*exhale*

"No matter what happens in there though, I'm here for you. Always, alright? I don't mean that lightly, Sole. I've helped you come this far... even when it really didn't seem like you needed my help."

*chuckle*

"I mean it was you who saved me first, right?"

*more laughter*

*small sigh*

"Anyway, guess what I'm really saying here, Sole, is that... I want it to go right. I want you to find your boy, I want you, more than anything, to be happy. You've been through so much, more than anyone should have to go through, and I want you to be able to rest, to have the family you wanted, that you deserve, or, part of that family, at least. You're one of the best damn people I've met in all my years, and no matter how this all goes, I'll be by your side to help you face it."

(pause)

"You know... I'm not really sure why you picked me, if I'm honest, Sole. I'm just a rusty old synth, but... I'm a rusty old synth who's... in love with you. Who wants, more than most anything, for you to just be happy. And if I can have some part in making that happen, well, then I guess I shouldn't really question it, huh? But who am I kidding? I'm a detective, it's in my nature to question unlikely things."

*small chuckle*

"Well, guess I've rambled on here quite a bit, but I wanted you to have something. For when you're in there, so you remember that you're not alone. You've got good friends out here, so many people who care about you, who are rootin' for ya. Me, most of all. No matter what happens, we're all proud of how far you've come. No one even thought this would be possible, but since the day I met you, I've been realizing that the word 'impossible' really isn't in your vocabulary, huh? Who would've thought some pre-war vaulty would get as far as you did? Well, you did, and you really showed anyone who thought differently. It's one of the, oh, couple dozen or so things I love about you, darling. You always show those that need showing, always right the wrongs around you, even when some would argue it ain't your business. But you show those folks too, don't ya?"

*chuckles*

"You're just a whole lotta something, there, Sole. I never met anyone like ya, and there's no one else I could think of who could get through everything you've survived. You'll get through this too, I know it. And... I don't know, maybe I'm just losin' a few screws or something, but I believe you're gonna find your boy in there... But no matter what happens in the Institute, just know you got people out here waitin' for ya. Wishin' ya the best. Wishin' for ya to make it back home to us. We all love ya, Sole. And me? I love ya most of all."

"Yours, Nick."

Piper:

"Come on, come onnnn."

*Nat speaking indiscernably*

"That did it? You think?"

*Nat* "Yes."

"Oh. Okay. Geesh, this is why I just wanted to write a letter or something, but Nat said I should... cuz of the tape that you lost, and what it meant to you, and hearing my voice and-- Geeze, already rambling. So unlike me, huh?"

*laughter*

"Uh, anyways, um... Hey. Blue."

*more laughter*

"Who let me do this? This is awful. I wanna just talk straight to you, you know? See that cute little face of yours, that embarrassed smile with the way your eyes crinkle. The face you're probably making right now. Eh? Did I getcha? Are you making that face? Bet you are."

*giggling*

"I guess I know you pretty well by now, huh? Four years, Blue. Four! I don't know how I've put up with you all that time, but also, I... I don't really know what I would've done without you. That day we met... I think back on it all the time. How perfect everything had to be for us to meet like that, to get that great first impression. It always makes me laugh, the way we still give Danny a hard time about it, blaming him whenever we have those silly little arguments, just so we can't blame each other. I wonder if other couples do that? If they have a sort of scapegoat for their silly little..."

(pause)

"Okay, yeah, getting off topic. The reason I made this, well, this tape recording, that I wanted to be a note, that I probably could've just said straight to your face, was so I could just say... thanks. I know I tell you a lot how much you mean to me, but, I also think you always need to hear it. You've been through so much, lived through multiple lifetimes... you really were-- and are, the story of the century, Blue. You're incredible, and strong, and goofy, and absolutely adorable, if I do say so myself."

*giggles*

"Ahem, anyways, um... Where was I?... Oh! Yeah, you're..."

*quick breath*

"You're a great leader, and you could do anything you set your mind to, I mean really, once you've lived over two hundred years, learned how to fight giant monster lizards, how to cure super mutants, travel through someone's brain, and even teleport, I think the sky is hardly the limit."

*more soft laughter*

"Yeah... I knew I'd get just a little off topic, but when it all comes down to it, there's really only one thing you need to know, Blue."

"I love you. And I'm so grateful to have you in my life and as my partner in everything, and though these past few years have been like... the best of my life, I think the future holds a lot for us. Keep being strong, keep being you, and I'll be right here, cheering you on, loving you. Like I have from the start."

(pause)

"Oh, and Nat'll be here too. Rolling her eyes. Scrunching her face when we kiss in front of her and pretending to barf, but... she'll be loving you too. Won't you, sis?"

*Noncommittal noise*

"See? She agrees. Love ya, Blue. See you soon."

(pause)

*whispered* "Which one do I press to stop it? Which one? Oh. Oh, okay, I see--"

*click*

Preston:

"Sole? Hey. It's Preston."

*light chuckle*

"But you could probably guess that, huh? Yeah, well, I just wanted to say a few things. So you have them, so we do, for later, and everything... I'm just... Where to even start with you?"

*a breath*

"You're just... so amazing. You have been, since the day I met you, and every day since. You've taken everything the Commonwealth throws at you, and you've turned it into something beautiful. Something we can help grow, help to make this world a better place. And... you've given me hope."

*light laughter*

"It sounds so simplified when I put it like that, but it's not."

*soft sigh*

"I had no hope, before I met you. It was gone, and I just felt... hollow, but now I see all of the amazing possibilities for the world, for you and me, and the Minutemen. I never would've made it this far without you, and what we're doing now? This big adventure we're taking together? I know... I know you've been there before. That you... had a family before, and I know the way it turned out, and I can't imagine how difficult it is to look past that, and to try again. But... I want you to know I'm here for you. I always will be, just like you were there for me, when I needed you most."

"I want this for us, and you're... God, Sole, you're just so strong to want this too, so brave, and selfless, and-- and you just see the possibilities in life and you go for them, and I love that about you."

"Even just saying all this, it has me smiling from ear to ear. Just thinking about you does that to me, babe. I couldn't tell you the last time I smiled like this before I met you. I don't think I even could, to tell you the truth, but now... I mean, my cheeks hurt. Just thinking about seeing you after this mission, thinking about our talk, about us... settling down... Yeah, it's gonna be tough. Like you said, it's hard to get me to stay in one place, but you like to wander a whole lot too, you know."

*laughing*

"But I don't think I've been more ready, more excited for anything in my life. I love you so much, I almost can't believe it sometimes, but then I see you, and I... Well, I can believe it, because you're just that good. That perfect, that kind and loving, and selfless, and I just can't believe that out of all the other people in this world, I was lucky enough to meet you, and somehow, you wanted to be with me too."

(pause)

"I think I might've told you this already. At least once, but just in case, I'm gonna tell you again... Sole. I loved you from the moment I saw you. I... I couldn't believe it."

*laughter*

"I thought it was crazy, thought I lost my mind or something, but it was true. As soon as you came into my life, I was ready to pledge mine to you. I-I was in love. And as unbelievable as it seemed at the time, so soon after meeting you, that's never changed. And I'm betting that it never will."

"I love you, Sole. So much, and I can't wait to see you back here, and I can't wait to make that pledge all over again, can't wait to start our family, and... And god, I'm so excited to see you, I can't even sit still, I just--"

*muffled voice*

"What? Now?"

*sound of confirmation*

"Already? But I thought--"

*Annoyed sound getting further away*

"No, hold on, I'm coming!"

"Sturges says you're here."

"You're... you're home. You're home early..."

*disbelieving laughter*

"I'm gonna go and see you. Now. Right now, I've gotta--"

*muffled rustling noise*

"I'm gonna go. Sort of. I love you Sole, see you soon!"

X6-88:

"Sole... Ma'am/Sir. This is X6-88. I..."

*small sigh*

"I would like to extend my condolences to you. Your son... I wish you could have known him as I did. As so many of us did, as you never had the chance to. It is unfortunate, but... What I said, before, when I told you that I believe in you... It was not a lie, sir/ma'am. I do believe, fully, that you are meant to take his place, that you will do incredible things for The Institute."

"To be honest, I'm not sure why I felt the urge to record this message for you, but... Perhaps it's because I feel... that you should be able to hear this, to listen to this tape if ever you feel... inadequate, or... alone. You are neither, sir/ma'am, I assure you."

(pause)

"And I also... I know what it's like. To feel that way."

"Perfection is something that's required in every unit that is created to be a courser. It's something hardwired into us, and so is our aptitude for solitude, and yet... Either there is great fault with my programming, or you were enough to bypass all of it altogether. I've never felt less... Well, perhaps not less perfect, but I've never felt... more..."

*quietly*

"Human, than when I'm with you."

"It is not by my own conscious decision, but all of my defenses seem to lower when you are at my side. I've spoken so outwardly with you, I've... laughed, which is something I never knew I was capable of doing. I've come to despise being alone completely. Or... perhaps not alone, but more... without you. It makes my chest feel tight, and my thoughts wander to your safety whenever I'm not by your side. I'm not... I'm not quite sure why I feel so differently about you than I do anyone else I've met, why you elicit these reactions and thoughts, but I do know that they are enough for me to believe you are... exceptional."

*soft exhale*

"There is no one more capable, or better suited to leading us. No one who has had the influence over me that you do. Not Ayo, not Father, not even the... infuriatingly endearing young Shaun."

*short laugh*

"None of them... and yet you, from the beginning, have surprised me. Your prowess in combat, your amusing commentary, your strange empathy and searing wit... It all took me by surprise. Which isn't easy, I'll have you know. I'm a courser after all."

*muted chuckle*

(pause)

"I'm a courser... And yet, you've always treated me like an... an equal. Not a machine, or a weapon, not something to fear or to order around without regard for my own preferences, my own... conscience. It's something I never thought that I would find to be a virtue. Not something that's ever mattered to me, and yet, now... Now anyone who's not you, everyone here who disregards me the way they always have... It tries my patience."

(pause)

"I blame you, for that, sir/ma'am. But also I'm... Thankful to you. I'm... glad I've been able to accompany you in your travels, that I've been able to guide you in your new time in this world, I feel privileged that I've been able to witness your transformation, that I've gotten to know you, after all this time, and I... I want you to know that I'm here for you. Now, as you grieve the loss of your son, and in the future, as you take on your new responsibilities as the leader of The Institute. I will be here, by your side. To protect you, to help you, to amuse you, even, if that's what you require from me, since I often seem to do so without realizing it."

*soft exhale*

"I want the best for you, Sole. I want you to feel safe, I want you to be... happy. It's not something I'm used to... wanting these things for another, but as always, you are the exception. If you need anything from me, if you want anything, I will be here. For you, Sole."

"Sincerely, X6."

[melmonquartelz]

This is a genuine question so pls dont take it so personally or get mad but why do you constantly use the pentagram in your drawings. It gives off a icky feeling to be using such a symbol as if its something cute and for aesthetic. Like. In one of your drawings you made the star a heart and I'm sorry but thats very icky no matter what your reasoning is. I'm not trying to be mean so again pls dont reply rudely but I just think using it so carelessly in drawings and putting it on your sonas forehead of all places is very concerning and could be disrespectful and honestly if it continues I'd rather unfollow and stay away from your content cause you even put it in videos

I do it because yes, I am a Satanist The upright pentacle I use is because it is a symbol of protection. It's 5 points are also connected to the elements of Earth, can also be connected to the body, plants, colours etc. While the pentagram (The upside down one) is usually seen as a place of evil, the upright one is usually seen as a good one (If there's any out else reading this that's more knowledgeable in the pentacle and/or these religions I'm praying I'm gettin' my facts right)

I've done my research but sadly I'm not the best at explaining </3 In no means do I want to offend anyone with it and I don't believe I am doin' anythin' offensive? If you'd rather stay away from me and my content because it offends you then that's your choice! My content isn't for everyone

I might as well answer them both at the same time

My art is also an expression, it's my choice and my religion. I can tell we both are in different circles and that's completely fine! As long as we're respecting each others religions then I see no point in starting something. As I said, whatever I do I don't mean to offend anyone. I'm gonna continue to do whatever I want since it's MY content and MY art, if you don't like it, cool!

Also I thought this may happen LOL As to the sexualized nun outfit, I actually didn't intent for it to be that. The concept before that drawing looked more like a nun and when I realized that that's when I changed it to what it was now. So it was unintentional for it to look like a nun, I was more goin' for a kinky bride thing

[lancermylove]

In Search of a Soulmate (Word Game)

Fandom: Obey Me

Pairing: Mammon x fem!Reader

Warning: None

Requested by: Anon

Prompt: Mammon: midnight, memory, and misunderstanding, fem mc, for the word game please? Ty 🤗

A/N: Hope you like it! 🤗

Word Count: 1,046

———————————————

Quietly sneaking past Asmo's room. Check. Avoiding Belphie in his room. Check. Going down the staircase without even a single board creaking. Check. Walking past the library with alerting Satan. Check. Opening the main door without making a sound. Check. Mammon was finally out of the House of Lamentation and on his way to a particular location in the Human Realm.

How did he manage to get to the Human Realm? By striking an expensive deal with his new witch friends. But he would much rather not think about it. He was on a mission to his soulmate. It was Valentine's Day, and he heard a rumor about a special waterfall while visiting the Human Realm. Anyone who visits the waterfall at midnight on Valentine's Day can catch a glimpse of their soulmate.

"Where's the waterfall? It feels like I've been walkin' for hours." On cue, he heard rushing water and ran towards it but stopped when he saw it. A mid-size fall poured down from a high cliff, surrounded by flora and vegetation. The cliff walls were embedded with glowing gems, adding a surreal feel to the scenery. A thin layer of radiant algae sat atop the waterbed at the end of the falls. Even though it was midnight, the bioluminescent life and rocks radiated enough light for Mammon to see everything clearly.

As the clock ticked closer to midnight, Mammon walked closer to the water before crouching and staring at his reflection. It was only a rumor, but he hoped that he would see his soulmate's image with all his heart. "Come on…"

At midnight, he noticed a disturbance on the water's surface. Were the rumors true? Was he really going to see the face of his lover? His heart raced out of control as he waited with bated breath. A face pierced through the surface of the water.

Mammon yelped and fell on his behind while you started splashing him and, "Pervert!"

He had no idea what you were saying until you shielded your bare chest with your arms. With wide eyes and red cheeks, Mammon hopped on his feet and turned his back to you. "S-Sorry...wait, why am I sayin' sorry? I didn't do anythin' wrong..."

"What do you mean you didn't do anything wrong?" You gasped.

"How was I 'posed to know you were swimmin' when you were underwater?" He shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know...maybe 'cause my clothes are sitting to your left?"

Mammon frowned, "I ain't got time to be lookin' at your clothes. 'Sides which lady leaves her clothes in the open for others to see? Ya might as well have a neon sign sayin' a lady is swimmin' here alone without clothes."

"You're not my mom, so don't lecture me," you huffed.

"Whatever." A moment later, Mammon asked, "So, what are ya doin' here alone at night?"

"Why should I tell you?"

Mammon didn't say anything, and the silence was getting to you. "So...what are you doing here?"

"Why should I tell ya?" He mumbled. You pursed your lips at his response and glared daggers into the back of his head.

"A few years ago, I came here with my friends on a vacation. It was a fun little trip only for the three of us, but we ran into a few other people here. There was one guy in particular...when I saw him, I couldn't stop staring at him. My heart was racing out of control, and I forgot how to breathe. Cliche, right? Turns out those cliche emotions really happen when you meet someone you like," a small smile tugged on your lips. "He was my first love."

"Why do ya sound sad talkin' 'bout a happy memory?" Mammon curiously asked.

"My friends and I drifted apart...my first love was not interested in me," you let out a self-deprived chuckle. "They all moved on without me, and I am still stuck in the past. Don't get me wrong...I am happy for them, but at the same time, I don't want to be left in the dark."

"So why did ya come here?" He repeated his question.

"I wanted to get away from everything…and couldn't think of a better place than this. It's too beautiful. Anyways, enough about me. What about you? What are you doing here?"

"Why should I tell ya?" He bluntly replied.

"Hey, I answered your questions, so it's only right you answer mine!"

"I didn't ask ya to answer my questions, so I ain't gotta answer your questions."

"Yes, you do! It's only fair! Wait, you aren't an actual perv, are you?" You narrowed your eyes and asked.

"No! I don't wanna tell ya 'cause it's embarrassin', y'know," he bashfully said.

"Now I'm even more curious. Tell me why you're here!"

"Fine. Fine. There was a rumor goin' around 'bout this place. If ya look into the water at midnight on Valentine's Day, you'll get to see your soulmate's reflection. Ya happy?"

You giggle at his unexpected response, upsetting him. "Aw, I'm not making fun of you...I just think it's adorable for you to come in search of your soulmate."

The smile on your lips slowly falls flat when a realization hits your mind. He saw your reflection in the water...could it be?

"Hey, how long have we been talking?" You curiously asked.

"I dunno. Maybe fifteen minutes."

"What time is it now?"

Mammon sighed and pulled out his phone, "12:15."

Why were you suddenly asking him for the time? Mammon's jaw dropped as his eyes grew in size. 'If we've been talkin' for fifteen minutes and it's 12:15...I saw her reflection in the water at midnight.'

He snapped his head in your direction, but you squealed and again covered your body. "Will you stop turning around?"

"And why ain't ya dressed yet?" With a sigh, he stood up and said, "I need to get goin' before my brothers find out I snuck out."

"Wait!" You yelled. "What is your name?"

"Mammon."

"Hi, Mammon. I'm (y/n). Nice to meet you," you smiled. "I hope we meet again someday..."

He turned to ask why you wanted to see him again, but you were gone. The demon rested a hand on his chest and shifted his gaze to the sky. Were you really the one?

———————————————

➣  Obey Me Masterlist: [1][2] ➣ Main Masterlist

➣ Buy me a Ko-fi? ➣ Commission: Open || Requests: Closed

[that-basic-simp]

Dangerous Woman

"What is it now?" Odessa asked as we were brought into the headquarters at Overwatch.

"We need you and Y/N to take on a mission," Winston said as a shit load of files appeared in front of us.

"We need you to go undercover and since you're new to Overwatch, Odessa, we figured you'd be the perfect candidate."

She let out a sigh as she was sifting through the mountain piles of information in front of us.

"W-What are we even doin'?"

"Talon activity has picked up since the leader of Null Sector, Ramattra, started his attack on major cities. Such as King's Row. We believe that Talon is going to try to meet up with Ramattra so that they can work together," Tracer said as she zipped around the room.

"And what exactly are we going to do?" I asked.

"The next point of attack is Paris. More specifically, a ball that is going to be taking place. So we need you two to infiltrate the ball, find Talon and get information. Odessa, listen to me carefully," Tracer said. "Do not engage the enemy unless provoked or given good reason to."

"So if they start shootin' at Y/N, I can shoot back, yeah?"

"You won't be allowed to take any sort of weapons into the ball."

"Fuck," Odessa whispered. "But what if they do start shootin' at Y/N?"

"Run like hell," she said.

"That's no fun," she sighed.

"Your safety is more important than fighting Talon right now. We will eventually get them when the time is right," Tracer said. "And we'd be more than happy to get you both to help out."

"We'll see how this mission goes," I said.

"Good. We have your outfits ready for you in your sleeping quarters," Winston said. "And thank goodness we called you when you have your natural hair, Odessa."

Odessa sighed and ran her hand through her black mohawk, "Don't remind me. I forgot that I needed to get hair dye."

"It'll make ya look less like a target," I chuckled as I walked past her.

"Aye, you're one to talk," she said and lightly smacked the back of her hand across my ass.

"Odessa!" I laughed, running away from her as she stood up, trying to get me again.

"C'mere, princess," she let out a playful growl, chasing me all the way back to our sleeping quarters.

"Are you sure they're the right people for this mission?" Winston asked.

"I have faith in them!" Tracer smiled.

We walked into our sleeping quarters to find what we needed to wear. As soon as I saw what Odessa was going to wear, I couldn't help but laugh inside, but my jaw dropped.

"Ain't no way in hell I am wearin' that!" she shouted as she walked over to the dress that was hanging up.

"Hold on, Dez. I want to see ya in it."

"I was expectin' a suit or somethin'."

"I know ya were, but let's see how it looks on ya. Besides, we're supposed to not stand out. I think you in a suit might make ya stand out."

"You want to know what's going to make me stand out? Me in a dress."

"If anythin', ya might catch some guy's attention."

"If anyone tries anythin' funny, I am poundin' their head into the ground. Especially if they get handsy with ya," she looked at the dress I was going to be wearing.

"At least it's nothin' too fancy. You're not that kind of person," I said and kissed her cheek.

She let out a sigh, running her hand through her mohawk, "I take it I've gotta take the mohawk out."

"Most likely."

"Fuck," she whispered as she walked into the bathroom to change.

While the room was empty, I got changed into the dress I was going to be wearing and I waited to get into the bathroom so I could do some makeup. At least some lipstick and mascara. The door opened up and Odessa walked out with the dress on and her hair was out of her mohawk, flat ironed to where it was straight and not wavy.

"W-Wow," I whispered, admiring her.

"D-Do I look alright?" she asked.

"You look amazing," I said, leaning towards her. I stood on my tiptoes and placed a peck to her lips.

A small smile appeared as she placed a kiss to my forehead, "Thank you, princess."

"I shouldn't say, amazing. Ya look stunning, wonderful, beautiful, attractive."

"Oh hush, Y/N. If ya want to do things later tonight why don't ya just ask?"

"Can we?"

"Of course," she said. "If we don't get blown to bits."

"I hope not," I said and walked into the bathroom, doing a bit of makeup before walking out.

"Odessa, what are you doing?" I asked.

"N-Nothing," she said, turning her back away from me.

I walked towards her, grabbing her shoulder, and spun her around. I noticed the hilt of one of my swords was in the back of her dress. With how it parted, it was a large V that exposed her muscular back, but with how the sword was placed, it looked as if it was part of the dress itself.

"T-That actually doesn't look too bad."

"And," she parted the siding of the dress to reveal Gracie was attached to her thigh.

"Really? Gracie is fine, but the sword is overkill."

"Just a safety precaution, princess," she said as we walked out of the room and to the hangar.

Tracer was there and was going to be our escort. Once we got into the airplane, she flew out to the airport in Paris before the three of us got out and she drove us to where the ball was going to be. Pulling up to the venue, we both got out and Odessa waited for me so I could walk in beside her. I wrapped my arm around hers and we walked in together.

"Remember you're here to get information," Winston said through our ear pieces, that were covered up by our hair.

While flying here, Tracer put mics on us that were disguised as well as small cameras too. They were ready for anything to happen.

"Got it, Winston," I pressed the earpiece.

"Maybe we should do somethin' like this back at home, princess," Odessa said as we walked in, seeing a large crystal chandelier. It glimmered and shined as the lights bounced off of it.

"Think Hammond can make somethin' like that?"

"He'd make it even better," Odessa chuckled as we walked around, trying to blend in.

As we were walking around, trying to socialize with people, I kept an eye on Odessa as she was cornered by a few guys. Letting out a sigh, I went to go make my way over to her, but something caught my attention. It was a woman who had light blue skin and a tall African man who was wearing the only white suit here.

"That's them, Y/N," Tracer said.

"Who are they?"

"Akande Ogundimu and Amelie Lacroix. They're Talon members. Otherwise known as Doomfist and Widowmaker."

"Follow them, Y/N," Winston said.

I looked over at Odessa, who was dealing with her own issues. I let out a sigh and followed after the two. I hid behind a pillar as they stopped and started talking to an omnic who was wearing robes. There were cables attached to his head to make the appearance of dreadlocks.

"Ramattra," Doomfist began. "Good to see you again."

"Likewise," said the omnic.

"Can we please get this over with?" Widowmaker asked. "I don't like being here."

"Of course. Now, what is your plan?" Doomfist said.

"We are going to set up camps here and overrun small parts of Paris. Simple as that. If Talon were to aid, that'd be such a pleasure. I could use the help of humans like you, even if I despise them."

"What does Talon get in return?"

I was closing in on their conversation, but a small gust of wind whisked past me.

"Dez," I pressed onto the earpiece.

"What's up, princess?"

"We're not alone."

"What?"

"We're not--" I was cut off by someone coming out of nowhere and placing a hand on my mouth.

"Scream and you'll regret it," someone said.

Looking behind me, I knew who it was. Sombra. I growled lowly, but I didn't move. I heard footsteps coming towards me and that was when Odessa appeared from behind the pillar.

"Oh fuck," she whispered.

"Gotcha," Sombra chuckled and sent out an EMP that cut off our communication to Tracer and Winston.

"Catcha later," she disappeared.

"Oi, where the fuck did ya go?!" Oddessa yelled, about to bring out her knife.

I looked behind the pillar to see they were gone.

"Damn it. Dez, we gotta go."

"Freeze!"

There were guards surrounding us. Odessa and I raised our hands in the air. One came over and kicked me behind the knee, causing me to fall onto the ground.

"Y/N!"

"Dez," I breathed out. "It's going to be fine."

"Silence!" the guard yelled and bashed the end of his assault rile inbetween my shoulder blades.

"Y/N," Odessa breathed out.

"Dez, no."

It was as if everything happened next was in slow motion. She reached behind her back and unsheathed my sword. Swinging it upwards, she sliced one of the assault rifles that was pointed at her in half.

"FIRE!"

Dodging the bullets, she ran around the pillars and came up from behind one of the guards. She knocked him in the back of his head with the hilt of my sword and stabbed another that was running towards her. Pushing the side of her dress away, she pulled out Gracie and stuck it into the neck of another guard before slicing the head off of another. There were two guards left who just booked it. Putting Gracie back in the sheath on her thigh, she lifted me up over her shoulder and walked out of the building.

The car Tracer drove zipped into the front, avoiding the mass panic now, and the doors opened up. Odessa put me down before we got into the car. She closed the door and we drove off. I let out a sigh as there was a dull pain in the middle of my back.

"You really are something," Tracer said.

"They were hurting Y/N," Odessa croaked out, looking at the blood on the blade.

"I'm ok, Dez."

She looked down at me, worry still in her eyes, "I wasn't going to lose you tonight. I've seen what those kinds of guns can do. They can unload rounds upon rounds without stopping or stalling. I wasn't going to risk losin' you."

A small smile appeared as I leaned into her, my head resting on her shoulder.

"You really are a dangerous woman."

She chuckled, "You bet 'cha I am."

[crimsononiarataki-archive]

@general-kujou-sara asked: “Go home.” + “It isn’t safe here at this time of night.” 

"There ain't anythin' goin' on here right now. I was more curious as to what ya were doin' here so late, actually."

The Oni wasn't judging her for being out so late at night, or in a 'dangerous' area. He knew she could handle herself and she also knew he could handle himself just as well. They were both Youkai after all, there wasn't really much they needed to legitimately fear. Well, he had his allergy to account for but would anyone out and about so late in the night really be armed with beans on the off chance they ran into the only Oni who ever showed up in the city?

It was doubtful.

"What's wrong? Ya can't say 'nothin' either, there's obviously somethin' wrong or somethin' goin' on if you're tryin' to get me to leave the area."

His voice wasn't nearly as loud as he was during the day, likely because if there was danger, there was no reason for him to be loud and bring it atop the two of them, but despite the fact that he knew she could hold her own he had no intention of leaving. Not without an actual good reason for him to do so. Even at the threat of beans he'd probably stay, simply to make sure she didn't get seriously hurt.

Unless, whoever she was watching was after him for some reason? Which would be odd in itself, why would she want to keep him safe from people who were after him?

"I ain't goin' home until ya give me a good reason to do so. Ya know I ain't just gonna leave ya here to face who knows what. I'd be a pretty shitty friend if I did that to ya, Sara."

[direwombat]

it's like some kind of wednesday in here (+ a bonus WIP music wednesday because I'm late)

tagged by @g0dspeeed, @adelaidedrubman, @gaeadene, and @socially-awkward-skeleton (or pseudo tagged anyway <3) for another wednesday

tagging @strangefable, @strafethesesinners, @detectivelokis, @sstewyhosseini, @confidentandgood, @river-ward, @wrathfulrook, @henbased, @voidika, @madparadoxum, @euryalex, @clonesupport, @schoute, @poetikat, @aceghosts, @inafieldofdaisies, @vampireninjabunnies-blog, @harmonyowl, @purplehairsecretlair, @ivymarquis, @cassietrn, @neverthesameneveranother, @roofgeese, @jacobsneed, @trench-rot, and anyone else who has something they want to share <;3!

here's the bit of dialogue right before syb does some dumb shit (surrendering herself to John)

“Chosen chopper incoming. Want me to shoot ‘er down?”

She shakes her head even though she knows he can’t see her. “Don’t,” she says. “They’re here for me.”

“Uh…I ain’t followin’.”

“I made a deal with John,” she explains. “Myself in exchange for your and Kim’s safety.”

“What!?” Nick exclaims. “You’re just handin’ yourself over to him?”

“I ain’t happy ‘bout it either, but I ain’t got much choice,” she says. “John’s just gonna keep throwin’ his men at us til one or both of us ends up dead. Least if I do this, you n’ Kim can pack your bags and get to Falls End before he decides to go back on his word.”

Besides, the sooner she knows where he’s keeping Joey, the sooner she can figure out how to bust her free. 

Then she can go looking for her brother. 

“Look. Just trust me, okay? I know what I’m doin’.” 

She hopes she sounds more confident than she feels. 

“If you say so,” Nick answers, but she can hear the reluctance in his voice. 

“Just get your ass back on the ground and go to your wife. Let me handle the rest.” And with that, she tunes into the Falls End frequency. “Grace, you copy?”

The few moments it takes for her to respond drags on for an eternity, but finally, she answers. “Yeah, I’m here.”

Sybille breathes a sigh of relief. “Great. Listen, I need you to get to Nick’s airstrip ASAP.”

“What’s goin’ on? You need backup?”

“Kinda,” she answers. Poking her head out from behind her cover, she glances at the Peggies awkwardly idling on the airstrip. One of them happens to meet her gaze and she hesitantly gives the man a wave. Puzzled, he waves back, and then she disappears back behind the bar. “Told John I’d surrender if he left Nick and Kim alone.”

“And why would you do something stupid like that?” Grace asks.

Sybille sighs and drags her hand down her face. “Was either that or risk Kim gettin’ shot,” she says. “Look, I ain’t trust a single word that comes outta that snake’s mouth, so if you could come down and make sure he doesn’t try anythin’ once he’s got me, that’d be great.”

“And if he does?”

“Then you get Nick and Kim outta here,” she says bluntly. “Don’t care where you take ‘em. Just make sure they’re safe.”

“And what about you?”

She sighs again. “Don’t worry ‘bout me,” she says. “I’ll be fine.” 

Grace is quiet for a long time, and there’s a brief moment where Sybille worries that she might refuse her request. But then her voice comes crackling through the radio once more. “You remember when I called you crazy?”

Sybille laughs. “Which time?” she asks.

“Don’t matter,” Grace answers. “I take it back. You’re fuckin’ insane.”

Her smile widens. “So you’ll be here?”

“I'm on my way,” Grace says reluctantly. In the background, Sybille can hear the roar of an ATV coming to life.

The tension in Sybille’s shoulders immediately relaxes and she closes her eyes, leaning her head back to rest it against the wood paneling of the bar. “I owe you,” she says.

“Damn right you do,” Grace grunts. “Oh, and Dep?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t get dead.”

“Copy that,” she smiles. “See you on the other side.”

WIP MUSIC WEDNESDAY

been trying to get myself into the john seed mindset so here's a song (my ethel cain katc epiphanies earlier this evening aside) that's been helping me as i struggle to write him lmao

Listen up all you beggars, you liars and you thieves I'm about to bring you something that's gonna take you to your knees And you know that I could never let you down Oh when you feel the might and you hear that old soul sound

You've been waiting on the wind You've been waiting on the winds of change to blow your sails into the night Oh but all you do is sit and cry

You got to go down to the river and wash your soul clean You got to go down to the river and wash your soul clean Ooh down to the river and wash your soul clean You got to go down to the river and wash your soul clean

What you want (Down to the river) You ain't got (And wash your soul clean) What you got is all that you need

[twilightmalachite]

Altered - Angels and Devils 14

Author: Akira

Characters: Rei, Shu, Eichi, Tsumugi

Translator: Mika Enstars

"Ahaha! I’ve been blatantly rejected! I wonder why~? Do they not like me ‘cuz I’m bein’ too annoyin’?"

Season: Spring

Location: Yumenosaki Hallway

⚠️ This is an import from a unproofed Twitter Livetweet!

At the same time, in front of Yumenosaki Academy’s Handicrafts Club room…

Rei: Ah! Hello, Tsumugi~?

It’s me, Sakuma Rei-chan! How’re ya doin’~?

I’m reaaal sorry! I did my best and askin’ all of the Five Eccentrics if they could perform with ya, y’see~?

Most of them completely ignored me, full-stop! Just as I figured~. I’ve never been rejected like this before, so I’m a lil’ bummed!

Ahahaha! I’m happy to finally experience somethin’ new, though! ♪

Shu: ……

Rei: Ah! Hold on a sec! I spotted one of the Five Eccentrics just now! That guy sure holed himself up for a long time~, he wouldn’t even show his face!

Hey~! Itsuki-kun! It’s me, Sakuma Rei, and—

Shu: …Tch…

Rei: Alright! He clicked his tongue and left! Didn’t even hold a conversation with me!

What’s this sign, though? “Five Eccentric, Do Not Enter?”

Ahaha! I’ve been blatantly rejected! I wonder why~? Do they not like me ‘cuz I’m bein’ too annoyin’?

That guy’s an extreme case, but all the other Five Eccentrics are all the same, y’know~? They’re either gettin’ ready for their next play, or some sort of ceremony over at their parent’s house…

They’re all sayin’ no for self-serving reasons, nothin’ I say gets to them at all~♪

The little one of the Five Eccentrics, Sakasaki-kun, was willin’ to hear me out, though—

He started sayin’ things like “I have a bad premonition” while strokin’ a crystal ball or somethin’ like some fortune teller.

He refused to join the performance, sayin’ something like “It’s obviously a trap, so might as well ignore it”.

But I think that even if it is a trap, why not have fun with it?

But I guess Sakasaki-kun’s still a kid, so his pride won’t allow him to get caught up in one.

I think that failure and defeat are necessities though. If anythin’, they’re the beauty of life!

Anyways! Anyone is completely unapproachable! So we can’t join your performance!

Oh, me? Sorry, sorry, actually, I can’t either! Can’t join ya on stage!

I know I spoke bad ’bout the other five Eccentrics, but I got a job to do overseas! Nothin’ I can do ’bout it!

I mostly just do international activities, so local stuff’s less of a priority.

So I can’t refuse if they call me over, well, not that I’d want to.

Sooo yeah, sorry! Basically, none of the Five Eccentrics will be joinin’ your performance!

I mean, that’s fine, right? It’s not like we signed any contracts or anythin’, just a verbal agreement, y’know? Well, I guess that might still be legally binding.

A shame then, not a single one of us cares about those kinds of laws! Ahahahahaha! ☆

Right, right yeah! That’s why I’m sayin’, it’s my bad? I’ll make this up to ya someday!

Mhm mhm, give Tenshouin-kun my regards too!

—It’s just not the right time yet, is all.

Location: Yumenosaki Academy Auditorium (LIVE)

Eichi: ……

Tsumugi: …So, that’s how things turned out…

Eichi: This is unexpected indeed. I really didn’t think that none of the Five Eccentrics would show up.

I had it planned so we’d profit whether we win or lose, but not if there’s not even a match in the first place.

I see, I see, hm… Alright, this changes things…

They, the Five Eccentrics, have easily surpassed my expectations.

I’d thought I knew what I was doing all this time, but I suppose my understanding was poor.

Was I foolish to think I could move them as I wish in the first place, I wonder?

Tsumugi: W-What are we going to do? With all our guests absent, there’s nobody here to participate… Should we continue our debut live as planned?

Eichi: I’m not sure. There’s no reason for it anymore.

Eichi: It may not be profitable, but it’ll count as experience. We’ve already advertised and attracted customers. It’s not smart to overturn something with money and people involved at your own convenience.

Let’s at least try to play the part.

Unlike the Five Eccentrics, who flaked their performance at the last moment for selfish reasons, we, fine, will finish the job properly…

There’s merit in letting the world around you know that you are a proper idol.

With that in mind, let's give it our all.

Unlike God, who has been omnipotent and omniscient since the beginning, our strength lies in our ability to grow through hard work and experience.

← prev | story directory | next →

[dabisbratz]

AGH okay hii there (・・; idk if u remember me, but i was the anon from a while back who asked how you got into impact play and was! really nervous cuz i didn't know if it was my thing, but i wanted to broaden my horizons yk? your reply helped me feel a bit better (thank u btw<3) , but since then i've sorta realized that it's DEF not my thing and i wanted to ask,, do you ever feel bad about not wantin' the rough stuff, if that ever happens? like, do you ever fear that it'd make ur partner/playmate like you any less?

i guess i'm askin' cuz i've been having that problem, and idk what to do about all the pressure to like pain and degradation n stuff :( nd i really look up to you as well!

i know this is a MUCH bigger question than last time, and professional or not, i wouldn't expect ya to give me advice for this kinda thing, so again, i'm hopin' i'm not crossing any boundaries,,, so so sorry if i am, and obvs ignore this msg if that's the case! or maybe i can try sending it off anon later, so u can answer it privately, if that'd make u more comfy? either way, i rlly hope ur havin' a wonderful week, and i'm glad to see that your writing is getting more attention :)

hi bubs !! absolutely do remember you, how could i forget ?! :D v’never been physically sexual with anyone before, but can tell you v’absolutely felt less-than when someone else’s ideas weren’t somethin i was into. t’the point id jus go with it even f’i wasn’t a fan. . which is !! a big nono!! that being said, f’youre with someone who makes ythink you have to fulfill every fantasy they have— darker or not— they’re not the one. n that makes them a terrible, terrible person !! it’s neverever your fault, n it doesn’t n shouldn’t effect how much they love/care about you! you like what you like, n that’s great !! don’t let someone pressure you into doin somethin you don’t wanna do.

n that leads m’to mnext point ! there’s nothin wrong with not bein into pain or degradation or anythin . . . jus intense. cause they’re exactly that, yknow? like . . m’actually not into intense impact play !! i like gettin slapped/spanked but mnot a fan of kickin or punchin or stuff like that.. n the funny thing is, m’only into it if the person doin it is super soft n sweet right after ! anythin you do (with a partner or not!) does not have tbe somethin intense n crazy n rough tbe a good time. what matters s’if you feel good— if they feel good too! n being rough most definitely is not the only way to feel good !!

anywho, yshould definitely talk it through with your partner!! communication is everythin. it’s important t’have boundaries set n placed— respected too. any type of. . play time ! should be guilt free, n it’s much better when everyone’s on the same page!! sorry f’it sounds like mramblin. . there’s so much i wanna say but it’s kinda hard tput into words. . tldr: i do! but we shouldn’t, so it’s important to talk about it t’diminish that feelin of guilt/inferiority !! no need to apologize, sweetpea!! mglad i could help, even if it’s jus a lil bit! <333 n thank you !!!

[mephinomaly]

[TL] PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 8

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Rei: Well, whatever. If there’s nothin’ we can do, should we leave the “vampires” alone then?

Koga: No. Hasumi-senpai has prohibited anyone from enterin’ this livehouse if they haven’t applied to the student council and received approval for their unit.

Don’t really get it but, if you break the rules you’re gonna get punished, so.

But the “vampires” are just gonna ignore that ‘n keep on causin’ havoc.

Hasumi-senpai was sayin’ somethin’ about settin’ up a DreFes so we can put an end to those guys once ‘n for all.

That’s why I’m out here practicin’.

Rei: A Drefes… Is it like a live showdown? Doesn’t really sound dream-like.

Koga: Even if the DreFes takes place ‘n we win, what happens next?

Are the rotted idols at our school gonna suddenly have a moment of introspection ‘n say “from this point forward, I’m going to take my idol activities seriously!”?

Rei: That’s the plan, I guess. A rotted corpse can’t become a living human again though.

But. The DreFes is part of school regulations. From what I’ve seen, rules say that if they keep losin’ they’ll be disqualified from bein’ idols.

Their grades get worse ‘n worse, and since they’re not fit t’be a student at our school anymore, they’ll be suspended or expelled.

Bouzu’s just tryna find an excuse t’exile the delinquents, or “vampires” from school.

Koga: Nn, that’s still kinda a roundabout way of doin’ things… Can’t he just use the very fact that they are delinquents to kick ‘em out? That’s bad enough on its own.

Not much point in him goin’ out of his way t’set up a live showdown.

Rei: There’s a high percentage of Yumenosaki students, especially those on the idol course, that come from respectable families. That includes me.

That’s why the schools been turnin’ a blind eye to all their misconduct.

The entire industry is on the decline, and strugglin’ Yumenosaki needs nutrients to survive– needs money to survive.

No matter how irritatin’ and rowdy they are, it’s not as simple as just throwin’ them out.

That’s Yumenosaki’s fatal flaw. No matter how sick it is, ‘n how much it’s hurtin’, it’s not as simple as just removin’ the defective organs.

On the flip side, the schools been desperately tryna cover up any student scandals ‘n protect them from it.

That’s why the “vampires” are still out here, enjoyin’ their youth. So, what do you think? Pretty revolting story, right?

Koga: I guess… Is money really everythin’? Adults always say that it is.

Is money more important than justice? There’s people out there who have been brought t’tears ‘cos of those delinquents, there’s people who feel like shit even though they haven’t done anything wrong.

Why do people who do bad things laugh ‘n point fun at people who do good things?

It’s weird, Sakuma-senpai.

Rei: Yeah. You realise with age that that’s just how the world is, and you learn to ignore it.

So, if you can, help Bouzu to get rid of these delinquents like he’s planned.

Koga: Th-then, you’ve got to take part too! If Sakuma-senpai is on our side, we’ll have the strength of a hundred people!

Let’s do this! Let’s defeat the delinquents with our music!

Rei: Hm~... When you ask me like that, I go all weak.

Ahaha. I don’t think there’s a fix for this sort of thing…maybe I’ve got an incurable disease.

Koga: Y-you’re sick Sakuma-senpai? Then don’t force yourself t’do anythin’...?

Rei: Don’t worry, it’s more of a mental problem.

Right then. Take me t’where Bouzu is, so I can help him too.

I’ll stand on stage.

Koga: Hah! Fuck yes~! If you’re on our side, we won’t lose to anyone ♪

Rei: But. I’m not the type t’break my promises, so I can’t be on the same side as Bouzu who beat me in the Deadmanz live.

That’s why I can’t stand on the stage as his ally. If I do show up, I’ll be in a different unit to him. That’s the only way I’ll perform.

So. If you’re gonna stand on the stage, you gotta pick. Me or him, Oogami Koga-kun.

Koga: That’s, I’m… This ain’t the time to be stubborn. We should band together so we can defeat those delinquents ‘n then—

Rei: Nope~, no can do. This ain’t some heartwarmin’ story. I’m not breakin’ my promise. Not again.

A promise was made. And he lost.

We’ve said our goodbyes. Our paths will never cross again. We will never stand on the same stage again, with the same goals in mind.

Koga: ...

Rei: Yet I stood with him! We have performed together countless times! I'm sorry about how rash I was back then…!

Koga: True. And in the end, I chose t’stand with you, Sakuma-senpai.

Rei: It feels as if Hasumi-kun bestowed you upon me. He was serious, so I couldn’t break my promise.

He said that since he had formed a new unit, AKATSUKI, and per the rules, could not belong to more than one unit at a time.

In the end, Hasumi-kun acted as a supporting figure, working behind the scenes whilst we fought on the front lines to vanquish the delinquents.

[ ☆ ]

Chapter 7

Chapter 9

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

Arthur x Reader headcannons

Okay this was also requested via an anon reader, so I hope you enjoy it!

This was a request for a reader who has small boobs, how would our boy react??

Imma give you these headcannons so you know!

Let’s go!

Warnings!: Nsfw always a warning lmao, female reader, arthur being fluffy

Tags: @mrsarthurmorgan7 @kieropal @cantchoosejust1 @photo1030​ @6kaja9​

Arthur is a man who drinks his respect women juice

He respects all women unless they start causing issues for him

now a woman can disrespect him, and he isn’t gonna start throwing hands, he’ll still respect them, that’s just who he is

but if a woman wants to start a fight, or draws a gun on him?

Then all respect is thrown out the window

now

keeping that in mind

it means that he also respects women of all shapes and sizes and has no problem being with a woman of any shape, as long as you are healthy and happy

That being said

when you start liking him

you don’t really know all that

I mean

you’re friends with him yes, but the two of you don’t really sit around and talk about the kinds of people you’re into 

So you feel a little self conscious about the fact that you have a bit smaller....chest 

Him on the other hand?

He couldn’t care less

he likes you too

He thinks you are absolutely stunning, gorgeous, literally has an entire journal page that he’s just wrote down words he thinks describes you

though he still feels like he hasn’t found the right one yet to PERFECTLY 

encapsulate the feelings he has for you when he sees you

Even before you two are together he sticks up for you and literally fights anyone who dares make fun of you for having smaller breasts

He literally is like 

“Y’all are grown men, what the fuck are you doin’ sittin’ around makin’ fun of a lady like this? Ain’t you got anythin’ better to do with your time? Go make some goddamn money!”

He likes you so much that he’s on the border of saying he loves you before he even gets with you

and he just has no idea how to go about asking you if you’d like to court him

He feels like he’s just some guy, an outlaw, a bastard

he isn’t exactly worthy of being with you

which isn’t true

yes he does bad things, and yes he’s not exactly the best man

but he is a good man in bad circumstances 

no one is perfect

and he is more than good enough to be with you

he is respectful and kind

and sweet

he just refuses to see those things in himself

So, more than anything you’ll probably have to make the first move

OR don’t

it’ll just take longer for him to come to you

Eventually it kinda slips out 

that you like him

and it’s your fault you admit that

you drank too much and you shouldn’t have

You’re stumbling around camp, singing too loudly, being obnoxious, and him having a sweet spot for you 

obviously he gets up to make sure that you don’t embarrass yourself

he decides to take you to his tent, so you can sleep on a cot rather than the ground

and when he gets you settled into the cot you beg him to stay, drunk and not entirely aware of what you’re saying to him

He melts at that, at the thought that you want him nearby

and then you tell him that he’s so handsome but he’d never like someone like you

not when you don’t have anything to offer him

tell him you’re titless and you wouldn’t blame him if he got his rocks off with someone else, but you want him to know he means so much to you

and Arthur nearly starts crying right then and there

The fact that you think of yourself like that and the fact that you think he doesn’t feel the same for you

He decides not to leave, and instead sits next to the cot all night, leaning his head against it, and holding your hand until you fall asleep

when you wake up the next morning you feel awful when he tells you what you said

which of course he tells you not to

and explains that he likes you the same way, he just never thought someone as beautiful as you could feel the same way for hiim

When he calls you beautiful and sees that absolute shock in your face he realizes that you really don’t believe that about yourself and his heart, or what’s left of it, just shatters

He’ll sit there and he’ll get angry pretty much

He wants to know who made you feel like this, who made you believe that you weren’t beautiful

and then he’ll even bring out his journal, he doesn’t let ANYONE look at that journal, and he’ll show you that page full of words that he thinks of everytime he looks at you

He just wants you to see yourself the way he sees you

He tells you he doesn’t give a shit if you have huge boobs or not

first off

any boob, no matter what size, is gonna get a man riled up, if he’s into women

second off

he’s more of an ass man anyway, and even small asses are good asses

he’s more interested in who you are as a person anyhow, and yes, some physical attraction is needed to have a successful relationship, but that’s okay

because as I’ve mentioned

he thinks you’re stunning

he thinks you’re beautiful 

and he thinks about screwing you until the cows come home all the damn time

He just had no clue how to properly tell you or explain that without being a creep

He’s gonna keep telling you these kinds of things until he’s completely sure that you feel better about yourself

and if you don’t

he’ll start to get frustrated

and not at you by any means at all

but at himself

because he just can’t word things the proper way

he can’t get words out the right way to make you feel the way he wants you to feel

so he’ll get angry and just grab you by the neck and pull you close enough to slam his lips against yours

He just wants you to feel the way he feels

That kiss 

is just 

fantastic

he is literally so passionate about it, that it truly makes you realize that he’s not just saying all this to make you feel better, he genuinely feels for you

you know then that he means what hes saying

So you do your best not to feel the way you do, for him

and you also ask him if you could court, because after that kiss the idea of not having anymore with him makes you genuinely kinda upset

Of course he tells you yes

and from there things just go

He loves you so much

and he knows that

he hasn’t told you that yet because like you just got together

and like

he doesnt want to scare you off

but

he still sticks up for you at every opportunity

every time that someone makes fun of you

he literally gets so close to decking them in the face

sometimes

if its someone he really doesn’t like

he likes to attempt to make them uncomfortable

by just literally looking them in the eye and then spinning you around and kissing you deeply

He literally loves you so deeply

He wants to be as close as possible to you at all times and he wants to constantly kiss you 

literally always

and on the moments that you do have bad thoughts

because lets be honest

no one is perfect

and no one has completely perfect days 

everyone has their moments

when you have yours he will ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS be there to reassure you that he cares about you and that he thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in camp

in the world

after you’ve been together for a while 

for like 

quite a while

he’s starting to get tired of you being so upset

and not because he’s tired of you

more like

he’s tired of him not being able to convince you

so when he feels like it’s been long enough that it’s not gonna be weird for the two of you

he starts to threaten you, but like

the sexy kind of threaten

he threatens you with

sex

If you start to feel down about yourself he’ll talk to you about it of course, he gets the anxiety, and the insecurities, he has them himself, so he’s gonna be kind about it

he’s gonna try to make you see reason, and understand how much he cares for you

but eventually, if he can’t get you to understand, he gets mad that he can’t convince you

(Again, not at you, at himself)

And he’ll simply kiss your shoulder, and then your neck, he’ll stop at that spot right where your jaw meets your ear, and a hand will crawl up your thigh while the other snakes around your neck

He’ll place his lips against your ear

and mutter the foulest 

things he can think of

things that would make a nun smack him

things like

“Princess, if I can’t convince you that I think you’re beautiful with words, maybe you should take that shirt off and let me try that way.”

Or he’ll like

say something along the lines of

“Darlin’ if you don’t listen to me, I’m gonna have to start demonstrain’ and I ain’t sure that camp can handle all that noise right now.” 

Sometimes

he won’t even say all that shit

he’ll just huff and then kiss you deeply while his hand finds its way under your shirt

Other times he’ll show how much you rile him up by simply pulling you into his lap 

you’ll feel his hardness and he’ll wait for you to shift your weight, which makes him suck in through his teeth

and then he’ll mutter in your ear that it’s all because of you

you did that to him

And this does bring up your confidence a lot

I mean him talking to you does too

but these things

the fact that he genuinely thinks about you like that

the fact that he gets worked up by you

it just does things to you

it would do things to anyone who had a brain lmao

It’s not only sexual things though

he loves to bring you little gifts and leave you notes from his journal too

he wants you to know how much he genuinely feels for you

and refuses to let you get too upset

He knows you have your down moments

but he also knows that it’s okay to have those

He is always supportive of you, and always patient when you think that you feel inadequate

He is literally perfect in all facets of everything

but 

back to the sex

because im a horny bastard

he’s very old fashioned

and he loves facing you when the two of you are intimate 

he loves the faces you make

and he loves to make you realize that he loves your body

he takes his time to make sure that he spends plenty of time on your breasts

to make sure you know that he loves them 

he kisses them

licks them

sucks them

he loves them

he loves your ass 

he loves all of you

literally

ALL of you

It just the way of the arthur

He also likes to remind you

even if you aren’t feeling down

how you make him feel

he just

RESPECT WOMEN JUICE GODDAMNIT

[askyeehan]

How did y’all end up together? Mind tellin the story?

Cole: How me and Hanzo got together. I could sit here all day and talk about every single twist and turn, 'cause there were plenty of 'em. It might surprise ya to know Hanzo and I didn't actually get along at first. Not that we hated each other or anythin' like that. But the first time I even heard about Hanzo was from his brother.

It's hard to not be biased in such a complicated situation. Lots of people thought poorly of Hanzo and what he did, but seein' my own background, I was willin' to give him a chance. The more I slowly heard and gathered about how he grew up….it made me sick, to be honest. He deserved better than what those monsters….

Cole shakes his head, pushing the thoughts away.

Anyway, back to us. Our first mission together was a mess. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was definitely more focused on tryin' to show off and impress Hanzo that I got hurt pretty bad. Obviously I'm still alive, of course! Takes a lot to keep me down, that's for sure. He did visit me in the infirmary, which took everyone by surprise.

It was incredibly difficult getting him to socialize with much of anyone. Even all this time later, he doesn't talk to many people, at least not the way he does when I'm around. He's slowly getting better, with more and more gentle nudges.

Part of the reason I'm doin' all this is to hopefully get him out of his comfort zone a bit and be more adventurous. There's so much more to be said about those twists and turns I mentioned, I'll definitely be talkin' about them in depth in the future.

[dandeliicnsarchiived]

she's cute & she's working here?! // @bu11seye // Tyler Atlas, Claire Daniels && Jessie Tucker

It wasn't often that Tyler took on new hires for Lion's Den, but after hearing a shorten story of how the redhead ended up in New Orleans's French Quarter, he'd figured he'd take a page from his younger sisters' book and pay it forward. Of course, Tyler gave her the run down that Lion's Den serviced the supernatural and kept it as a neutral ground them, so fitting in should be easy; at least that's what he assumed.

Usually, Tyler always hired the vampires to work in the kitchen, only because they were fast and they took care of orders effectively, but with a pretty face like hers, he deemed her fit to work up front with Claire. Thankfully, Claire was feeling like her old self, and the whole I hate all vampires, they ruined my life phase was over; so who better to show the girl the ropes other than Claire Daniel's herself.

" Alright, Jessie, I'm gonna get that name tag sorted for ya, Claire here is gonna give you the ropes of the bar. Shadow her, ask her questions, she knows just as much as me if not more. We'll also discuss the schedule for ya. Probably gonna put ya on closing shifts since they're more supernatural creatures here during that time, I'll ease ya into the humans. " Tyler stated to the redhead as he gestured for her to walk behind the bar to meet Claire. " Alright, if ya need me for anythin' Imma be in the back doin' admin bullshit. " Tyler stated as he tapped the bar top and walked to the back.

Leaving the two females alone, Claire decided it was her time to speak and explain the culture of Lion's Den.

" Leave it to Tyler to hire the beautiful ones, " Claire stated with a smile on her features, acknowledging that Jessie was indeed a beautiful girl. " So, the bar works like your average bar, except; the regulars usually know what they want, and once you learn them, making the orders is easy. When it comes to the vampires, we have all blood types in this cooler, " Claire gestures to the mini fridge that is close to the wine cooler. " at night, you'll see more of them, but if you think anyone is giving you a hard time, let me know and I'll set em' straight. I got words that sting and a bite that kills." Claire takes a moment to pause. " Oh right, I'm a werewolf, vampire hybrid. So literally my bite can harm vampires, borderline kill them. So seriously, if you need me, don't hesitate to call. Even if it's just a whisper, I'll hear ya. " Claire decides to take a moment to think, " What's your overall knowledge of the food service industry? "

[scapegrace74-blog]

The Man from Black Water, Chapter 3

A/N  A short intermediary chapter with no Jamie and Claire today.  With my vacation starting day after tomorrow, I should be able to get back to them in short order, but in the meantime, here is some more Murtagh being a loveable old curmudgeon.

Previous chapters are available on my AO3 page. 

“Trollop,” Murtagh swore.  “Teasin’ a man and then denyin’ him his prize.”

For good measure, he raised his wooden leg and swung it against the copper still, resulting in a deep tolling sound rather like a bell.

“Aye, jes like a woman.  Always havin’ the last word.”

Stalking out of the tiny, well-hidden hut, still muttering under his breath, Murtagh nevertheless took the time to padlock and then test the door.  There was no point giving away all his hard work to the first caird who happened by the upper reaches of Glen Isla.

The still was well hidden in a deep crack just below the ridgeline.  Using a crutch since there was no-one around to see, Murtagh navigated carefully across the boggy ground to a nearby spring that seeped directly from between the layers of the mossy cliff face.  Cupping his hand beneath the icy trickle, he drank deeply, the water so pure it was practically sweet.

“Like honey,” he pronounced, wiping stray droplets from his beard with the back of his hand.

A loose pebble tripped down the mountainside to his left.  Startled, Murtagh scanned for his rifle, realizing in dismay that he’d left it next to the still.  A long shadow blocked the morning sun.

“Dammit, Munro,” he snarled upon seeing his old friend standing on the ridge just above him, “ye near gave me a heart seizure!”

“Ye ne’er could hear anyone else when ye’re the one doin’ the talkin’,” Munro laughed, scampering easily down a gully to join Murtagh by the spring.

“How’d ye find me?”  Murtagh ignored the barb about his one-sided conversation, a superficial relief from his years of solitary existence.

“Ye auld bampot, ye leave a trail like a one-legged seed drill.”

The two men made their way back downhill towards the bothy. Murtagh wanted to insist that Munro go on ahead so that he could double back and nab his rifle, but there was no way he would risk giving away the location of the still, even to a man he’d broken bread with for over twenty years.  For his part, Hugh Munro shortened his steps and made a great show of looking around the glen, commenting on the latest sheep enclosure to divide the once-wild area and the deepening purple of the heather.  He was adept at navigating Murtagh’s pride and refusal to accept any assistance, despite being crippled.

At long last, they regained the valley floor and made their way into the bothy.  Munro’s mount and packhorse were tied next to the corral.

“Suppose ye’re hungry,” Murtagh groused as he hung an iron pot over the recently stoked fire.

“No’ nearly hungry enough fer what ye’re offerin’.  Mutton stew, is it?”

The barbs hadn’t changed in two decades and were blunt as a result.  It was a comforting ritual, as familiar to them as listening to the liturgy in church, and almost as infrequent.

“Ye’re a cold man, Munro.  The only way tae warm a heart such as yers is wi’ some whisky.”

Grabbing the unlabeled bottle from the mantle, Murtagh set about pouring two healthy portions.  Munro held it up to his aquiline nose, sniffing hesitantly.  With a game shrug, he took a large sip, his cheeks puckering above his kempt mustache.

“Ambrosia, is it no’?” Murtagh prompted after taking his own sip.

“Congratulations, Master Fitzgibbons.  After twenty some years, ye’ve finally succeeded in malting paint stripper.”

A tin mug was thrown across the table, glancing off the guest as he laughed at his own wit.

“See if I leave ye anythin’ in my will,” Murtagh groused before taking another long draught, pursing his lips in concentration as the spicy flavours rolled over his tongue.

“Wouldna wish tae undermine yer partner.”

The teasing gleam left Murtagh’s blue eyes.

“Silent partner, now.  Brian Fraser died last month.  A tree fell on ‘im.”

Hugh Munro said a silent prayer before quickly crossing himself. Without being asked, Murtagh refilled each glass and they drank a toast to their departed friend.

Several drams and some mutton stew later, the two men sat in the flickering flamelight, their booted feet extended towards the hearth.

“Where are ye off tae, then?” Murtagh inquired after Hugh finished his tale of a cattle drive over the Lairig Ghru in a snowstorm.

“Low country,” he said succinctly, using the Highland expression for anything south of the Grampian Mountains.  He wasn’t certain he should mention his exact destination, for fear of dredging up painful memories for his friend.

“Ye spend sae much time down there, ye’re like tae become a Sassenach yerself,” Murtagh complained, somewhat sincerely for once.

“Seems tae me there was a time ye werena quite sae opposed tae certain Sassenachs,” Munro tested the waters.

“Those days are done,” Murtagh pronounced with finality, rising unsteadily to his feet and escaping to his narrow bed with only a gruff goodnight.

Hugh Munro stayed up staring into the fire, contemplating how time was not the mender of all wounds.

[kitakami-zorua-kin]

🎤 - An audio transcript from a recording

-Audio Recording Enabled, bzzt!- “An’ I jus- I’m so tired, Super, I’m s’ fuckin’ tired of not bein’ ‘nough. I wish I was a Zorua, m’ybe then everythin’ would b’ better, l’fe would b’ easier an’ I’d be able t’ b’ happy an’ – an’  ‘m so fuckin’ sick of wishin’ I was anyone else an’ I wouldn’t wish this life ‘n anyone else, I don’ – I don’ wanna die but sometimes I wish this was like every other universe an’ Kiki an’ Carmine didn’ h’ve a third siblin’ at all, an’ I can’t think of anythin’ I’ve improved except maybe th’ Noibat c’l’ny an’ I just – I wish I was ‘s happy ‘s I pret’nd t’ b’, I wish I was lighthearted an’ silly an’ cheery an’ I’m not an’ I hate that I’m not, I hate that ‘m a liar, I wish I wasn’ everythin’ that I am, I wish I didn’ care so much ‘t makes me sick I wish I didn’ feel s’ stupidly guilty about everythin’, I wish – I wish I could stop carin’ I wish I could stop, I wish I could hate th’ people that hurt me but all I can think is that m’ybe they were right, m’ybe Car’ never shoulda stepped in m’ybe they never shoulda fished me outta th’ ocean t’ begin with maybe everythin’ would be better an’ I wouldn’ hafta deal with the lights an’ the sounds an’ – an’ everythin’ I’ve ever cared about fallin’ apart aroun’ me an’ – an’ I don’ know what ‘m doin’ wrong, ‘m tryin’, ‘m tryin’ s’ hard, why aren’t I ‘nough t’ fix things, why is m’ best never ‘nough for nothin’ why did ‘t hafta t’ b’ me, Super, I don’ wan’ any ‘f this, I wanna g’ home, I wanna have people that care an’ – an’ don’ lie t’ me, I wish m’ siblin’s cared an’ it hurts that I cared – care – s’ much an’ they didn’ care at all- an’ – an’ it’s not fair but I don’ wanna tell anyone ‘cause I feel selfish an’ sick with guilt f’r even feelin’ this an’ I feel s’ stupid an’ used an’ I jus’ – I hate it, Super, I hate it s’ much an’ ‘m sorry ‘cause I don’ wanna dump this on ya but ‘t’s eatin’ m’ alive an’ I ain’t got anyone else t’ tell ‘cause I can’ just keep dumpin’ everythin’ on Ange an’ ‘Roki ‘cause that’s just what everyone else did t’ me an’ I kinda hate them all f’r ‘t, an’ I don’ wanna do that t’ anyone an’ they both mean s’ much t’ me an’ I care s’ much ‘bout them so fast ‘t scares me an’ – an’ I jus’ – I don’ know wha’ t’ do anymore, ‘m scared an’ I keep cryin’ an’ I wish I could turn the carin’ off ‘cause it just keeps gettin’ me hurt-“

//OOC, Non-Accented Version: And I just – I’m so tired, Super (Superconduct), I’m so fucking tired of not being enough. I wish I was a Zorua, maybe then everything would be better, life would be easier and I’d be able to be happy and – and I’m so fucking sick of wishing I was anyone else and I wouldn’t wish this life on anyone else, I don’t – I don’t want to die but sometimes I wish this was like every other universe and Kiki and Carmine didn’t have a third sibling at all, and I can’t think of anything that I’ve improved except maybe the Noibat colony and I just – I wish I was as happy as I pretend to be, I wish I was lighthearted and silly and cheery and I’m not and I hate that I’m not, I hate that I’m a liar, I wish I wasn’t everything that I am, I wish I didn’t care so much it makes me sick I wish I didn’t feel so stupidly guilty about everything, I wish – I wish I could stop caring I wish I could stop, I wish I could hate the people that hurt me but all I can think is that maybe they were right, maybe Car (Carmine) never should’ve stepped in maybe they never should’ve fished me out of the ocean to begin with maybe everything would be better and I wouldn’t have to deal with the lights and the sounds and – and everything I’ve ever cared about falling apart around me and – and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I’m trying, I’m trying so hard, why aren’t I enough to fix things, why is my best never enough for nothing why did it have to be me, Super, I don’t want any of this, I want to go home, I want to have people that care and – and don’t lie to me, I wish my siblings cared and it hurts that I cared – care – so much and they didn’t care at all and – and it’s not fair but I don’t want to tell anyone because I feel selfish and sick with guilt for even feeling this and I feel so stupid and used and I just – I hate it, Super, I hate it so much and I’m sorry because I don’t want to dump this on you but it’s eating me alive and I ain’t got anyone else to tell because I can’t just keep dumping everything on Ange and Hiroki because that’s just what everyone else did to me and I kind of hate them all for it, and I don’t want to do that to anyone and they both mean so much to me and I care so much about them so fast it scares me and – and I just – I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m scared and I keep crying and I wish I could turn the caring off because it just keeps getting me hurt-