#is he dating? what's his family situation like? does he have full custody? any friends from work? any friends period?????

[time-is-restored]

btw this might be me swinging a bat at a hornets nest but like. absolutely none of my disappointment from the tl finale comes from ship baiting or any relationships that didn’t happen (though to be clear, i think the tedbecca fake outs were meanspirited and served no narrative purpose - in noted contrast to the season's earlier jamiekeeley fakeouts, for example, which were explicitly there to demonstrate jamie's growth + maturity)

tedpendant is a really fun concept for me, and i LOVE the characterisation + thematic potential there!

but as someone who personally resonated with a lot of ted’s struggles, the idea that ted could leave richmond so… seamlessly, for lack of a better word, really doesn’t sit right with me. the thesis of the shows entire first season - assuming it can be said to have only one - was about how everyone needs the love and support of a community, whether that comes in the flavour of someone who hypes u tf up or someone who will relentlessly call u on ur shit (or, as happened quite frequently, both!).

rebecca, roy, jamie are the clearest examples as the characters with the most screentime: they were all deeply isolated and disconnected from the people around them, and that was making them miserable. the connections they made with the team, the vulnerability they finally allowed themselves to express (the ghost banishing ceremony comes to mind!), and them going on to want *more* out of their life are what made their arcs about *progression* rather than *regression*. without that clear theme of compassion + community inspiring positive growth in everyone who encounters it, there is, frankly, no season one.

my personal favourite scene from season one comes right after michelle walks away from ted, when they’ve agreed to get divorced. ted sits down on the bench looking gutted, and a little shell shocked - and beard sits down with him. hands him the drink, and they sit there together. silent, but together. to me, that scene is an implicit promise from the episode, to the audience: ‘it’ll be okay. it’s going to be hard, but ted isn’t alone, and his friends won’t leave him behind.’

it also makes it clear to the audience that ted isn’t the saintly-giver-of-grace who needs nothing in return, as one might assume on first brush, but rather that he’s Also struggling with his own shit (as is everyone, always, in real life!) and he has something he needs from the people around him too.

and looking at the text of s3, and the conclusion to his arc in the finale, i just don’t believe that he got it. he wasn’t just sad that he was leaving (which would be understandable!), he was completely closed off. unresponsive to the people around him reaching out, borderline confused as to why they were trying so hard!

(side note, while i completely respect the read of ted and trents last interaction being rather rude + ooc on ted’s part, i personally read a different motive into it. for me, it was more like… he didn’t understand where trents enthusiasm was coming from? like, he read that as trent being too invested in what other people think of him, and responded in a way that he hoped would emphasise that ted doesn’t *need* to laugh at everything trent wrote, bc trent Already Knows that he’s done something really cool and kickass, and he shouldn’t value anyone else’s reactions above that. basically, based on his demeanour in the episode, i genuinely don’t think it would’ve even occurred to him that trent was more invested in HIS reaction than he would’ve been with anyone else.)

again, looking purely at the text, the show had already established that ted has really strong depressive + avoidant tendencies, as well as panic attacks (largely triggered by his fear of not being ‘good enough’ in various roles, ie: a father). we saw one area he was able to calm HIMSELF abt these fears (worry for henry, which is a Hell of a choice considering the ending…), but in literally every other heightened moment, he had to rely on his support system to help him make the choices that he WANTED to make, rather than ones inspired by avoidance and fear (ie: confronting michelle abt jake, talking to his mum abt why she was visiting + his dads death).

and to be clear, this is a GOOD THING! we’re not supposed to go through life alone, no matter how bad OR well we’re doing. rebecca and keeleys friendship isn’t worth less for all the scenes where they’re both in good places. if anything, the opposite is true - it’s lovely that they both have someone who want to celebrate the achievements in their life!

and fuck it, we’re sure as hell not supposed to go through life with exactly one (1) person whom we expect to fulfill ALL of our emotional needs at all times either! like, im sure i don’t need to labour my point here, but tying everything to one (1) person in ur life doesn’t make u any less isolated than if u were going it completely alone, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a partner. i won’t pretend to know the first thing abt what it’s like to be a parent, but i don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that no parent would be at their best if they had absolutely no support/camaraderie/general love provided to them from Anyone other than their child.

so when ted is SPECIFICALLY shown to be in a bad place, over and over again (did he come to terms w his fear to be close to henry overnight???????), and then removed from his community? of COURSE the audience is left feeling unsettled, and like the rug has been pulled out from under them. there was no time in this finale dedicated to how ted would still be in contact with anyone from richmond. no promises of visits, or phone calls - fuck, nothing about emails!! according to the text, we might as well assume this is a clean break (and the maybe-dream-sequence does Fuck All to assure us otherwise. if ted doesn’t go to beards wedding, what WOULD he go to????). and since the show has ALSO completely failed to give us even an IMPLICATION of who/what ted’s support system would be in kansas, there’s… a reasonable argument to be made that this is It for ted. that, after two seasons doing NOTHING but attesting otherwise, the audience is supposed to suddenly believe that ted can (and SHOULD!) pull himself up by his bootstraps, and cope entirely on his own.

that, to me, is a betrayal of the show’s premise. we were promised a show about how, no matter how dark things may get, none of the characters would be left to struggle alone. and then they ended the show with ted alone.

i don’t know. i guess if i had to give this post a tldr; if anyone has any gen fic/meta/Literally Anything in the pipeline, i would absolutely love to be tagged/directed towards it. i’ll be endeavouring to write something myself, as well, but it might take a while before i can return to my WIP, lol.

[irrelevantwriter]

Problem With You

Pairing: Rio (Good Girls) x Female Reader/You

Rating: Explicit, NSFW

Warnings: Language, unprotected vaginal sex, mention of bodily fluids, banter as foreplay, mental warfare, Rio being jealous...and admitting it (toxicity at its finest)

Word Count: 3.3K

Summary: Part 2. You decide you aren't going to let Rio affect you. Good luck with that. 

A/N: You guys do not even understand how much I appreciate the love and support I’ve gotten for my Rio fic! Really, truly. Ya’ll know how to make a girl feel special and because of that, I wrote like a madwoman. Seriously. @likedovesinthewnd​ can attest to that fact lol. So here we have a part two for House Call. If you haven’t read that, I highly recommend you do. Only because I added some plot this time around. Ya girl is riding this Rio wave as far as it’ll take me, so strap in because a bitch is plottin’. I hope you guys like it. Feedback is that good shit. 💗

*Read Part 3 here

*Give and Take series masterlist

*Masterlist in bio.

***********************

You laughed to hide the expression of boredom you wore as you walked up the driveway to your house. Luke, your date, hovered behind you, an obvious look of hope in his green eyes.

It wasn’t happening.

“I had a really great time tonight.” He said with a sheepish smile, his boyish grin doing nothing for you.

“It was fun.” You lied, taking a step back to make your getaway.

Luke matched your movement as he started to lean in close, his intention clear. And unwanted.

“Hey, mama…”

The voice made you jump, forcing your date to move back and out of your space. You turned to your right to see Rio leaning against your parked car, legs crossed at the ankle and hands stuffed deep into the pockets of a black jacket. He was ominous looking. Mysterious, with that hint of danger that seemed to follow him everywhere. His dark eyes were trained solely on you, ignoring the other man just feet away.

“You know this guy?” Luke asked with an amateur bravado that made you want to cringe.

The men couldn’t have been more different. You knew of Luke from little league soccer. He was the father to one of the boy’s on your son’s team. He’d been divorced for a few years and had made his interest in you known once you and Paul had split. And after your rendezvous with Rio nearly two months ago, you were itching for something...anything that made you feel half as alive as you had that day.

It was not going well.

“Family friend.” You replied, gaze still captivated by the man in black.

Rio chuckled at your answer, but didn’t say anything to refute it.

“Are you-,” Luke started, addressing you with a concerned lilt to his voice.

“I’ll talk to you later. I’ve got some stuff to deal with.” You cut him off, leaving no room for argument.

Thankfully, he took the hint and nodded, pulling his car keys from his pocket. “I’ll call you.”

“Okay.” You said simply, desperately wanting him to leave you and Rio alone. The situation was beyond awkward for you. It was uncomfortable to have Rio present to view something so personal. And you could tell he was sizing Luke up, the smirk on his face saying exactly what he thought about your date for the evening.

Luke gave you and Rio one last wary glance before he was walking down your drive and to his parked car. You waited until he’d driven away before you faced Rio full on, eyebrow quirked up in annoyance.

“What’re you doing here?”

He didn’t answer you.

Instead, he straightened and began to walk in your direction, eyes appraising you and your dress. You stiffened your spine, unwilling to let him see you so flustered. That game was getting old. He would pounce on your nervousness, manipulate it to his advantage. You weren’t going to let that happen again.

In the weeks since you and Rio had slept together, he’d made his attraction for you obvious. The drop-offs were now moments for him to flirt, attempting to keep you in an anxiety-riddled state for his enjoyment. He liked to see you affected by his presence. You didn’t.

You’d regretted sleeping with him the moment it happened. You didn’t want to be involved in that aspect of his life when you were so entrenched in his business operations. It wasn’t a good look. And chances were, Rio wasn’t the type to take on a divorced mother of two from the suburbs. He led a very different life from yours. He was looking for someone to fill his needs in the moment. Nothing more, nothing less. But that’s not what you wanted. Least that’s what you told yourself.

At this point it was more about self preservation than anything else. And with Rio, your need to protect yourself was on high alert at all times. Be it your life or your dignity.

“Who was the guy?” He finally asked, his strides bringing him close enough for you to smell his cologne.

“Friend.”

“PTA or little league?” He taunted with a knowing smile.

You hated that you were that predictable. That he could read you so easily.

“Does it matter?” You snidely retorted, tightening your grasp around the black clutch gripped in your right hand.

“Nah, it doesn’t.” He replied smoothly, licking his lips...lips that you’d tasted...lips that you wanted to taste again. “We gotta talk.” He continued, face growing serious.

The shift in mood made dread knot your stomach. You swallowed thickly, eyes darting to the darkened houses and empty streets in your neighborhood.

“Inside.” You gestured behind you and turned away, leading him to your front door. You walked the steps up to your porch, not hearing him follow at first. You knew what the reason was. You’d worn a fairly modest black dress on your date with Luke. The garment hugged your figure with a high neck and long sleeves, the length stopping at your knees. The eye-catching feature of the dress was the back...or lack of. It was backless and it’d apparently gotten the attention of more than just your date tonight.

You struggled with your keys in the lock, feeling his gaze burn hot across your naked back. You shivered and sucked in a breath when you felt a delicate brush of a finger dance along your spine, his body heat now crowding you. His breath was warm against your neck, the suddenness of his actions making your head spin.

“S’cold out here. You’re shaking.” He rasped into your ear, finger still trailing in a sensual pattern against your flesh.

“It’s not the cold.” You said flatly, finally pushing open the door. You left him on the porch as you walked into the dimly lit house, setting your purse and keys on the bench in the foyer. You went straight to the kitchen, flicking on a light. The soft clicking of the door let you know he’d made his way inside after you.

You pulled two glass tumblers from the cabinet and then grabbed a bottle of whiskey that Paul had left behind. You poured the amber liquid into each glass, your mouth already preparing for the intense burn that would come with swallowing it down. You were in need of the liquid courage though.

“How’d you know my kids wouldn’t be here? You have my custody agreement memorized or something?” You asked as you sipped at the liquor, sliding the other glass towards Rio from across the kitchen island. The exact island he’d fucked you on weeks before.

You didn’t bother trying to hide your aggravation towards him. Ever since that day in your kitchen, he’d been difficult to ignore. He was a constant in your thoughts. Your dreams had only gotten more explicit, more intimate. It was irritating. You hadn’t felt right since. And it was all his fault.

“Something like that.” He said, eyeing the glass on the counter. He studied you for a long moment, as he was prone to do. He watched you gulp down the entirety of its contents, his mouth turned up in mirth.

“What’d you need to talk to me about?” You questioned, trying not to wince at the bitter taste that now sat on your tongue. The whiskey was already heating up your insides, coating them in a fine layer of confidence and nonchalance.

“How’d your date go?” He threw back, dodging your question as he finally picked up the glass and swirled its contents.

“Why?”

“I wanna know.”

He tossed the drink back in one go, his inked Adam’s apple bobbing with the motion. It was a surprisingly erotic sight.

“You really wanna know about my date?” You asked incredulously, eyebrow once again raised at him in question.

“I don’t ask questions I don’t wanna know the answer to, darling. You know that.” He retorted with a testiness that made you momentarily retreat.

“It was fine.” You supplied with a shrug of your shoulders, unsure of what he was looking for. The date had actually been a disaster, but you weren’t going to divulge that to him.

He laughed. A real laugh with his head thrown back and chest vibrating.

It pissed you off.

“What the hell is your problem?” You gritted out between clenched teeth, the alcohol now rushing through your veins and fueling your rising anger.

Rio went silent. He straightened to his full height and edged past the island to stand in front of you. His face gave away nothing. No smirk. No narrowed eyes. No false sense of security with a charming smile. Nothing.

“Who says I got a problem?” He finally said, leaning into your face and making you lock eyes with his own.

Your gut reaction told you to look away, but you fought against it. Instead choosing to meet his intensity head on.

“You seem awfully interested in my personal life. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were jealous.” You taunted, fully expecting another round of laughter from him.

You should’ve known by now that Rio never did anything you expected. That’s what made him Rio.

“And if I was?” He challenged, not backing down from your accusations. He shifted closer, forcing you to lean back. “If I said I’d kill him for touching what’s mine. What would you do? Hmm?” He continued, eyes roaming your body as he spoke. His voice grew thicker, the desire now suddenly apparent and washing over you like molasses.

“You wouldn’t.” You whispered, feeling the ghost of his hands along your hips. The barely there touch made your body come alive with familiarity, the memory settling right between your thighs.

“I don’t make threats I don’t plan on acting on, baby. You know that.” He teased, throwing his own words back at you.

“I’m not yours.” You shook your head, tightening your hands into fists to keep them at your sides.

He laughed, though the sound held no real humor. “Yeah, you are.” He said with a nod, hand reaching around to drag along your back, making your eyes fall shut.

His touch felt so good. Intoxicating. Like your body knew who it’d been waiting for this entire time. You’d been a fool to think you could replace the feeling.

“What do you want?” You asked, exhaustion lacing your words. You felt like you asked him that same question every moment you were together. You knew the answer this time though. You were just hoping you were wrong.

“You.” He whispered, finger now caressing your cheek and pushing waywards strands of hair off your face.

You’d been expecting the response, but it still jolted you. Still made you fraught with worry and unease. You lashed out, pushing his hand away and putting distance between your bodies.

“You want me to quit my job. Leave my kids. To do what with you? Run away to wash money and run drugs?”

“Yeah.”

You studied his face for several silent seconds, searching for any traces of humor. There were none. He was serious. Unflinchingly honest in his desire to have you.  

“Well, that’s not gonna happen. So you should probably go.”

You brushed off his words and moved past him and towards the entryway, ready to see him out. You didn’t get far. You made it to the other side of the island before a hand reached out for you and slammed you back against a firm chest. You gasped, unable to pull away as another hand attached to your other arm. They held you by your elbows, forcing your backside to press dangerously close to his front.

He’d moved quickly and without warning, nearly knocking you off your heels. You were both breathing heavy, both from the movement and the lust that threatened to spill over and bleed out all across your hardwood floors.

“You’re stubborn as shit.” Rio breathed into your ear, his grip tightening around your arms and forcing you to still.

“I’m smart.” You retorted, feeling yourself start to loosen in his hold. His chest was pressed tightly to your bare back, his crotch nestled almost perfectly against your ass. Your lower body shifted under the guise of pulling away, but you felt it. And so did he.

“Yeah, that too.” He whispered.

His face buried itself into your neck, lips covering the area with kisses. You arched into his touch, getting lost in the familiar sensations. His hands dropped from your arms and reached for the hem of your dress, pulling the fabric up your thighs.

It was happening again. The vortex that swallowed you up last time was back and it was making time simultaneously speed up and slow down. The outside world felt like it was at a stand still while you and Rio reintroduced your bodies to each other. The soft touches and gentle caresses morphed into hungry grasps and passionate clutches. His mouth worked over your neck and sucked, knowing exactly what that action did to you. You reached around and ran your nails over his scalp, feeling him shiver in response.

Your feet shuffled as he led you to your couch, pressing you into the back of it. You pushed your ass out and into him, feeling the length of him beyond your clothes. His hands tightened around your hips and then traveled under your dress. You gripped the cushions as he tore your panties away, the savagery of it making your thighs slide obnoxiously together. You moaned when his rough hands kneaded your ass, spreading the flesh to see what was waiting for him.

Through the fog your heard a distinct growl that reviberated from his chest and went straight to your throbbing sex, your walls desperately clenching around nothing. You bit your lip when you felt the head of him at your entrance, the heat from his flesh so overwhelming that your knees nearly buckled.

“Spread your legs, mama. Let me in.” He instructed, hand latching onto one of your shoulders for leverage.

You obeyed his command. You obeyed because that’s what you always did. You always ended up doing as he said. And that’s what scared you. Not the illegal shit or the risk of throwing your whole life away. It scared you with how complacent you could be to him. And you knew that eventually you’d give him the life he wanted from you.

A strangled moan fell from your lips as he began to push forward. He felt larger this way. Felt as if he could reach all the way into your chest if he wanted to. You pushed back for more when he teased you, sliding back out and refastening his hold on you.

In the next moment he was fully embedded inside of you, pulsing with such a need that you could do nothing but tighten around him. He appreciated the sentiment. You cried out in what sounded like agony, but was in fact an unbearable amount of pleasure that felt nearly spiritual.

His hips slammed into yours with wild abandon. You steadied yourself along the couch, feeling the piece of furniture slide across the floor with every thrust. In this position he had full access to you, and he utilized it. He roamed your body freely and without permission, making you beg for more. You couldn’t see him. And that was just fine because you could feel him. You could feel every hard line and groove. Every brush of his fingertips and bruising kiss. You could feel it all.

“Fuck...I-,” You gasped as you circled your clit, feeling him hit so deep that you were forced onto your tiptoes in your heels. “I’m gonna cum.”

Your confession earned harder, slower strokes. They made you see stars. And within seconds your entire body was spasming with waves of pleasure akin to electrical shocks. The force of it was almost painful. Sounds that you didn’t recognize flew past your lips as you trapped him inside of you and rode out the blissful high.

His hand moved from your shoulder to the back of your head, readying himself for his own release. You went limp after such a powerful climax and he took that as his cue to continue. His pace was forceful, low grunts permeating the air as he fucked into you. His fingers dug into your thighs in that way that made you feel owned. You clenched your inner muscles around him, coaxing him further into euphoria’s waiting arms.

“Shit,” He hissed, his hips beginning to stutter as he finally came.

You accepted every thick drop that now coated your walls. You couldn’t describe the feeling of fullness you felt with his cum settling into your womb and his twitching length still nestled tightly against your walls. But for as wrong as everything else felt with Rio, this...this felt right.

His low chuckle broke the silence as he retreated from your body slowly. You missed the sensation almost immediately.

You stood on shaky legs and pulled your dress down, seeing the shredded lace that had been your panties in a pile near your feet. You kicked off your heels, a relieved sigh leaving your lips at the action.

“I’m gonna be gone for a bit.” Rio announced suddenly, reaching up to lazily scratch at the facial hair that lined his jaw. He’d redressed, now looking like a poised professional and not someone who’d just cum inside you.

Mild panic seized your chest, but you schooled your features, attempting to play it cool.

“Gotta get back to your other life?” You retorted, choosing to be a smart ass rather than show any real concern for the man who’d just fucked you in another area in your home. Another space where your family gathered desecrated by your sins.

“Nah, this is it for me, darling.” He said with a shake of his head and lick of his lips. “Just gotta handle some things.”

“That’s not vague at all.”

He stepped to you, once again pressing you into the couch. Only this time you were facing him, breathing in the same whiskey-tinted air as he invaded your space.

“You know what your problem is?” He rasped, voice rough enough to send a tingle down your spine.

“You.” You jabbed. The liquor was working. Your lips were loosened and your attitude was running the show. You’d be lucky if Rio decided to ignore your childish behavior.

He angled your chin up to him, leaning in as if he was going to kiss you. He hadn’t yet that evening. And you found yourself yearning for it. His fingers slid over your lips and trailed down your neck, gently grasping your throat. He didn’t apply pressure, but the innuendo was there. It thrilled you in a way you hadn’t been expecting.

“You worry too much.” He said, eyeing your lips the entire time.

You licked them in response, having nothing to say for once. He wasn't wrong.

“Everything stays the same. Mick will be at the drop-offs. He’ll stay close if you need anything.” He explained, his hand floating down your collarbone and over your breast to settle on your waist.

“And you?” You dared to ask, hoping he wouldn’t see your question as anything more than a professional query.

“Like I said, I got some things to handle. I’ll be in touch.” He deflected. “And don’t miss me too much, yeah?” He said with a charming smile, choosing to grip your hip and squeeze.

You scoffed at his words, crossing your arms and watching him leave without another word. You tried not to let the new information he’d shared bother you. He didn’t say how long he’d be away, but you had a feeling it was going to be for more than a few days.

The notion made you uneasy.

While Rio’s presence unnerved you, his looming absence made a lump form in your throat. You didn’t have the energy to analyze what that meant. It was going to be back to business. And in a way you were grateful for the reset. He’d come back and things would go back to an employee-boss relationship. Back to normal.

Right?

[toxoiddiamond]

T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Ryoga Zaizen Nicknames: Ryo Age: 38 Birthday: September 5th Zodiac Sign: Virgo Birthplace: Hakodate, Japan Current Location: He recently moved to Gzira, Malta, after having lived in Yokohama, Japan for nearly thirteen years. Speaks: He is fluent in both Japanese and English. He is starting to learn Maltese, but can only have a very basic conversation at this point. Dominant Hand: Right Education: He completed junior high, but opted not to continue on to high school and started working instead so he could help out his family. Occupation: Voice actor, mostly in anime and video games. Most of his voice work is in Japanese, but he occasionally does some in English as well. Every once in a great while, he does some live action acting, but it’s not his preference. Vehicle: 2018 Peugeot 5008 SUV in navy blue. Worldly Possessions: Some very nice recording equipment that allows him to do his voicework from home. A small family altar that he doesn’t actually pray to, but likes having around for nostalgic reasons. Lots of toys and things for his kids. Lots of DVDs and blu-rays of various films of all genres, with a whole shelf dedicated to family-friendly movies and shows. Pet(s): He recently got a one-year-old Shikoku Ken, partly to try and distract his kids from all the upheaval and turmoil in their lives at the moment. He wasn't too sure about having a dog at first, but now he really enjoys having a pet. The dog's name is Kotaro, meaning "small boy."

A P P E A R A N C E Height: 6'1" Hair: Ryoga enjoys trying all sorts of different colors and styles with his hair. He's had just about every color of the rainbow in his hair at some point, and when he was younger he experimented with having super long hair, mohawks, all kinds of things. Nowadays he tends to keep it cut into a more sophisticated, conservative style, but he still enjoys dyeing it various colors. Currently it is a light blue-gray. Facial Hair: He prefers to be clean-shaven. Eye Colour: Dark brown Skin Tone: He enjoys spending time outdoors, so he isn't super pale or anything; he has almost an olive undertone to his skin. Clothing: Most of the time he dresses in a fairly casual manner; his go-to look is skinny jeans paired with a graphic tee and either Vans or combat boots. But he also cleans up very nicely when the occasion arises. He has a few suits in various colors, patterns and styles and they all look amazing on him. Ryoga has a good sense of fashion and always manages to dress perfectly for any occasion. Distinguishing Marks: He has tattoos– like, so many tattoos on his arms, hands, chest, back, legs, basically everywhere except his face tbh. Face Claim: Miyavi

H E A L T H Physical Health: For the most part, his health is pretty good– he takes good care of himself, exercises, eats well, etc, especially because he wants to set a good example for his kids. However, he has had mild issues with his heart ever since he was a teenager– he has a slight arrhythmia and bradycardia (slow heart rate), but has managed both conditions fairly well throughout his life. He has had to stay in the hospital a couple of times after his heart rate slowed enough to cause him to faint, but he now tries to stay active and take his medication regularly so it (hopefully) doesn’t happen again. Physical Abilities/Limitations: He has a lot of upper body strength, partly from working out and partly from carrying his daughter around all over the place. He is also surprisingly flexible and enjoys doing yoga and tai chi as a form of gentle exercise. He’s always been good at imitating people/doing impressions and putting on different voices, which is what eventually led him to becoming a voice actor. Addictions: He used to drink a lot, but completely gave up alcohol in his mid-twenties, around the time he got married. This was partly because he wanted to try and be a more responsible person, and partly because his doctor recommended that he give up, or at least cut way back, on alcohol for the sake of his heart. Allergies: Shellfish Mental Health: Ryoga is under a lot of stress right now, so he’s not at his best. He’s had a lot of anxiety over his (very messy) divorce, then a brutal custody battle (he ended up getting sole custody), and then having to get a restraining order against his ex-wife when she kept showing up at their home and trying to get the kids to come with her, then throwing fits when Ryoga stopped her from taking them. Now that they’ve moved to a whole other country, he feels a bit better, less nervous, but he’s still constantly worried that his ex is going to show up any day. He has done his best to drill it into the kids’ heads that if their mom shows up, they are not to go with her and they need to come get him or call the police right away.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Long or Short Job History: His first job was at a small, hole-in-the-wall beef bowl shop when he was fourteen– he started as a busboy but was quickly moved into a kitchen staff position. A couple of years later, he was scouted by a modeling agent and ended up falling into the world of fashion modeling. He wasn’t super famous or anything; he mostly modeled alternative/goth/street fashion rather than anything too mainstream. This allowed him to network with a lot of people who were able to pull some strings for him and get him auditions for voice work, and within a few years, he had transitioned fully into voice acting (which he is now actually pretty famous for– in Japan, at least). Fondest Memories: Some of his childhood memories, such as family trips, or evenings when everyone was home and actually hung out together instead of going to their separate rooms. His wedding day, which is bittersweet to look back on, but at the time was one of the happiest days of his life. The births of both his children. Various anime conventions he’s gone to– he loves meeting fans and talking to them. Worst Experiences: His father losing his job– it sent the entire family into a downward spiral of anxiety and Ryoga always felt he had to walk on eggshells around them. Having to skip out on high school so he could work and earn money to help his family. His parents being more than a little angry with him when he became a model, started getting tattoos, etc., since they thought he was “ruining his life.” His parents later disowning him when he told them he was dating a man. And, of course, the slow and painful death of his marriage which resulted in a very, very messy divorce.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: It depends on the situation. If he’s working or in a more professional setting, then he is very respectful, using only polite language. When he’s with friends, he’s louder and more outspoken, and far less polite– not that he’s rude, just that he has a bit of a mouth on him. With his kids, Ryoga is very laid-back for the most part, speaking calmly to them and keeping a patient, gentle tone. Even when he scolds them, he doesn’t raise his voice much, though he can be very firm when he needs to be. Accent: Ryoga has a noticeable Japanese accent when he speaks English, but it’s not so thick that it’s hard to understand him. He speaks very clearly and enunciates well. Favorite Phrases or Words: Tends to say “Aa! Sou?” when he’s surprised about something, which just means “oh, really?” Also tends to say “ehto” instead of “um” or “uh.” Usual Curse Words: He tries to watch his language when he’s with his kids, though he does slip up on occasion (and they always call him out for it). He does have quite a mouth on him though, both in English and in Japanese, and uses whatever curse word feels most appropriate for the moment.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: INFJ-T Sense of Humor: With his kids, he’s pretty goofy and silly, always joking around with them and keeping them entertained. He does a lot of voices that make them laugh. When he’s around adults, he’s more sarcastic but still on the goofy side more than anything. Habits: He is hardly ever barefoot– he always wears socks or house slippers when he’s inside. He tends to eat rice with every meal if possible, in some form or another, or else it doesn’t feel like an actual meal to him. If he’s wearing any nail polish or anything, he tends to pick at it whenever he gets nervous or stressed out. Quirks: Ryoga really enjoys treating himself to things like spa days, mani-pedis, massages, anything along those lines. He doesn’t do it all the time, but once a month or so he gets someone to watch the kids and just takes a full day to himself to relax. He also loves taking baths and keeps various bath salts and oils around so he can take a nice, long bath at home if he’s had a rough day. Fears/Phobias: Anything happening to his kids; he worries about them constantly. His ex-wife finding him and showing up, even though he has a restraining order against her. He also tends to be a bit secretive about his sexuality, after facing some backlash/discrimination for it in Japan– he’s not exactly afraid of anyone finding out that he’s bi, but there’s a reason why he doesn’t offer that information very freely. Strengths: Something Flaws: Something Hopes/Desires: Something Wildest Fantasy: Something Self-Esteem: Something Religion: Something

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Something Boxers or Briefs?: Something Day or Night?: Something Top or Bottom?: Something Partying or Relaxing?: Something

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: Something Relationship History: Something Sexual Partners: Something Thoughts About Sex: Something

P A R E N T S Name(s): Mom and Dad Age(s): Ages Social Standing: Blue collar, white collar, whatever Occupation(s): What they do Religion: What do they believe Quality of Relationship With His Children: Is good or bad? Living/Deceased: Maybe they dead

S I B L I N G (S) Name(s): First Last Age(s): Ages Social Standing: Blue collar, white collar, whatever Occupation(s): What they do Religion: What do they believe Quality of Relationship with Character: Is good or bad? Living/Deceased: Maybe they dead

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: Where they live

[secret-time-is-here]

An Error's Journey

Chapter 19

Previous - First - Next

After that last reset, it seemed like Chara had taken full control, sparing all monsters they came across, even going as far as befriending everyone. Most monsters referred to the human as the new hope of the underground, no doubt hurting Chara a little since Sans was the only one who knew about them haunting and processing Frisk’s body.

From a distance, he watched them slowly make their way through the underground. Chara talking to everyone, and spending hours buying and selling from Temmie so they could buy Temmies odd “Tem Armor” and something from Muffet's bake sale. They even hung out with Undyne, becoming best friends with her.

They even went as far as to help set up Undyne and Alphys, accidentally making their way to the true lab.

Sans watched from the shadows, staying out of sight even from the amalgamates, as Chara slowly walked around and spared everyone they interacted with. In the end, Chara finally found Alphys and learned of what had taken place.

Unlike Sans and Alphys, however, Chara didn’t give up. Chara helped all the amalgamates out of the true lab, bringing them back to their families.

It wasn’t long after that Chara and Sans met again in the Judgment Hall.

“So you finally made it. The end of your journey is at hand. In a few moments, you will meet the king. Together...” Chara flinched at that, and Frisk seemed to take enough control to glare at Sans, “You will determine the future of this world.”

Chara seemed to have a moment of difficulty regaining control, but the glare left and was replaced by a soft smile, “That’s then. Now. You will be judged. You will be judged for your every action. You will be judged for every EXP you’ve earned.”

“Can we skip the whole explaining thing, puncle? I know what EXP and LOVE are.”

“Alright pipsqueak… but you. You never gained any LOVE. ‘course, that doesn’t mean you’re completely innocent or naive. Just that you kept a certain tenderness in your heart.” A smile pulled at his cheeks, “No matter the struggles or hardships you faced… you strived to do the right thing.”

Chara smiled in return. “You refused to hurt anyone. Even when you ran away you did it with a smile. You never gained LOVE but you gained love. Does that make sense?” He cocked his head to the side, “Maybe not.”

Chara rolled their eyes, “You’re about to face the greatest challenge of your journey. Your actions here will determine the fate of the entire world. If you refuse to fight… Asgore will take your soul and destroy humanity.” Chara nodded shakily, and Sans gave them a sad smile, but if you kill Asgore and go home… Monsters will remain trapped underground. What will you do?”

Sans shrugged, “Well, if I were you, I would have thrown in the towel by now- but you didn’t get this far by giving up, did you? You have something called determination. So as long as you hold on… so long as you do what’s in your heart… I believe you can do the right thing.”

Chara rushed forward, giving Sans a strong hug, “Alright, we’re all counting on you, kid. Good luck.” Chara nodded and ran with determination to the throne room.

Sans watched as they turned the corner, and he felt a hand fall on his shoulder.

“You did good,” Lust’s soft voice praised, leaving a kiss on his cheek.

“I hope so...”

“You should follow them. It’s not going to be long before you’re needed again.”

Sans nodded, seeing the code pulling him, ones and zeros dancing in his eyes.

-----

It had been two years since monster kind had left the underground, and now he truly understands why Lust admired the surface so much.

For a time, much like Lust’s world, they had camped not far from the mountain they had been trapped under, but it wasn’t long before they had built their own town. Thankfully, the town wasn’t named New New Home as Asgore had planned-and like Lust's world, but instead Ebott City, a name made by the returned Queen Toriel.

As it had turned out, the lady he talked to behind the door had been Toriel, his close friend and adoptive mother. Chara and Frisk had sworn to keep her identity secret, and Chara had apologized a lot after Toriel came out of hiding. It was nice to be able to joke and chat with her again, even if the royal family is under the guise that he had blocked out his memories after Chara and Asriel had died.

Speaking of Chara, they had spoken with Toriel and Asgore and explained their situation and who they really were, bringing the two of them to tears. Although Chara had to also hide some truth to keep Frisk under wraps, weaving a story on how when the seventh human fell, they had died, and Chara took over their body. Chara giving the body a new soul-their soul-for the body to stay alive. They went as far as saying Frisk was on the tag of the clothes so that’s the name they went by, in fear of no one believing.

Fortunately, this story worked out well and everyone began to call Chara by their name again, Toriel and Asgore sharing custody of them, and the older monsters happy to have their savior back. The world continued like that, Chara living happily with their family, Papyrus and Sans included. After a year of staying on the surface, Sans decided to reveal Lust to Chara as well, the kid surprised, but still happy for Sans nonetheless. It did make for some funny puns though.

“Sans, are you considering anyone?” Was a question Toriel often asked.

“Nah, I’m happy with me and myself.” He’d reply, to which Chara would burst out laughing. Toriel just assumed it was an inside joke.

Sadly, Frisk was not happy at all with the turn of events, and since they had trouble regaining control, they’d often pester Chara-to the point of Chara becoming a normal guest in Sans’ bed at night. The only person who knew the cause of their distress. At times, it felt like Gaster had never died, and he was the punny uncle that helped Chara calm down and not the big brother everyone else knows him as.

It was nice, though, since Chara seemed to not remember Gaster, but also not remember the altered timeline. Just remembering their favorite uncle.

Things were also nice since with all his newly found free time, Asgore and Toriel insisting he live with one of them, he could spend much more time with Lust. They began to go out on even more dates and spent more evenings together in Lust’s small cottage. For one of their anniversaries, Sans had even made Lust a gift, a brown leather choker with a heart in the middle, the backside of the chocker a simple bead decorated slip not to easily get it on and off.

Lust looked so happy receiving the gift, but yet it was a sad sort of smile.

Even on dates, it was a sad smile, when they were watching movies together it was a sad smile, when Lust would wake up frantic in the middle of the night and Sans comforted him-he gave a sad smile.

Sans couldn’t think of why-until one day he felt his body dust and soul torn apart, his memories ripped from him.

He awoke on his mattress alone.

-

All characters belong to their respected creators

[wallofweird]

It's making me nervous that JH keeps making comments about not focing love with Madison.

Right. Well, the first thing I have to say about all this is: I’m not worried at all, if anything, I’m optimistic. I'm stating this first and explaining why because this might become a long answer, so I’m letting you know in case you don’t have the time/disposition/patience to read all of it or at least now at the moment.

The first thing we need to remember about headlines is that people usually make it dramatic, they carefully pick the most ambiguous or potentially concerning words, usually out of context and use it as a title to get clicks. They could’ve gone with something like “it’s an amazing story”, but that’s not engaging. On the other hand, “You can’t really force love”, certainly is. It’s all clickbait.

So, Justin teases: “I’ve said this before: You can’t really force love. It doesn’t work.”

And that is actually him making a reference to this old answer:  

“Love is a strange thing. If you let it [love] happen, it could be wonderful. If you try to force it, then you’re always going to be searching for something that maybe never was there in the first place. And not only that, but maybe you didn’t even really want. You’re shutting yourself out to things, because you had this idea about what your life was supposed to be. And there it was right in front of you.”

For me, that was a great analogy between Kevin’s relationships with Sophie and Madison, with Kevin letting love happen to him with Madison instead of trying to force a fantasy he had on his mind like he’s done before.

And these are more important parts of interview:

Coming into Episode 5, is there any lingering doubt in Kevin’s mind about the path he’s forged with Madison? Or is he full steam ahead on “This is a good thing, and it’s all going to work out?” 

I think the doubt is showcased in Kevin in fear. The fear that it might not work out. Gosh, I mean what if they can’t coexist together and be this cohesive unit that comes together and raises these kids, and he [only] sees them on the weekends? There’s all of that stuff. Probably, those are the things that keep Kevin awake at night. He said as much in the last episode. He sits there and stares at the ceiling and worries. All that worry comes from fear, the fear that it absolutely will not work out and that he’s trying to force something.

I’ve said this before: You can’t really force love. It doesn’t work. He’s also in a little bit of a predicament. It’s not like he’s dating a woman that he doesn’t want to be dating. He’s in a situation where she’s having his babies. And he has, his whole life, been bound by this idea that he wants to be what his father knew he could be. Because that was cut so short, Kevin doesn’t give himself the breaks that maybe he should. He doesn’t cut himself any slack… and then he finds himself in a bigger predicament. It’s not him messing up for the sake of messing up or being selfish, as we saw him do several years ago. It’s that he puts a lot of stress and pressure on himself, and that sometimes can lead to the balloon popping, so to speak.

It seems like the movie he’s currently filming is not going to help, with a hard-to-please director who has gone out of his way to let Kevin know he’s not going to pat him on the head. Tell me if you think I’m wrong, but it feels like Kevin has some impostor syndrome going on here.

I don’t think that’s overstated. I would say he’s going through yet another existential crisis. [Laughs] If I were his therapist, I would say you’ve got to prioritize the things in your life that are important to you and not live your life for other people. If you look at what he’s actually been able to accomplish, he’s dedicated to being an amazing dad and raising these kids together. Whatever that thing ends up being with Madison, he’s going to give it his all. His career is on track. This won’t be the last movie in the history of the world. Maybe you say no to the movie, or maybe you can do both. Maybe you don’t have to be there every waking moment of the babies’ lives. There are other things that you have to do. You have to leave and go put food on the table. There are other things. Live your life for yourself a little bit. But I don’t know if Kevin does that. I think he’s so focused, and he’s on a mission. With a good heart, but just sometimes a little bit misguided.

How clearly is Kevin seeing Rebecca’s level of mental decline right now? It can be a hard thing to accept.

I think that’s part of the stress. That’s why he’s eager to have these babies, and he wants his mom to meet the babies. Look, he’s aware that this decline is degenerative. It’s not going to get better. You have moments where it might be like, “She’s better today than she was yesterday. She’s better this week than she was last week.” But it’s a degenerative disease. There’s a fall-off. I think he wants to make sure that he has these babies and his mom meets them and spends as much time with them as she possibly can have. And also maybe that might actually…sometimes when you spend time around animals or babies or whatever it slows down the demise of your disease. So he’s definitely aware of all of that. [In the pandemic], how are you…gosh, that’s a stressful thing, too. If you have these twins and I want them to meet Mom, but I can’t right now. It’s not safe. It’s like every single second you hear the clock ticking. Kevin’s got a biological clock, let me put it that way. [Laughs] Kevin is the only man alive that has a biological clock that’s ticking.

The way I see it, there are two ways to interpret this quote about not forcing love:

1) He is not in love with Madison and is trying to force a relationship.

2) At some point, Kevin will have some sort of nervous breakdown and question everything, his relationship with Madison, fatherhood, his actions as a son, brother, actor, person... Including maybe how Madison feels about him, their compatibility and the functionality of their relationship. Does she feel the same way he feels about her? Is she all in with him, his career, the fact sometimes he has to stay away and maybe even travel to a whole different country to shoot a movie? They might love each other, but love isn’t enough. Take Kevin and Zoe as an example, they were in love, but they wanted totally different things. And their love wasn’t enough, because Kevin’s biggest dream was to have a marriage and kids, but Zoe didn’t want children. So, if it doesn’t work out, it can get messy. They will have to share custody, not Kevin nor Madison will be with the babies every single day, there are a lot of different outcomes their relationship can bring.

I personally go with the latter, specially considering everything Justin has said so far and how we was referring to his own answer about Kevin letting love “happen to him”.

Also, because Madison has never forced Kevin to anything. They had known each other for 2 years, they weren’t close friends, but there was a sense of familiarity and camaraderie there and they even got to hang out with each other a few times. 

With Kate included, yes, but the three of them were comfortable and used to it, as you can see here, with Madison silently asking for Kevin’s support, Kevin backing her up, smiling and appreciating her little quirks etc.

And both and Justin expressed how they saw Madison as part of the family, even before the pregnancy:

Moving forward, Madison reveals the pregnancy to Kevin on March 5h, since then the show has implied they had talked and hung out before breaking the news to Kate and Toby and Kevin moving in with her, which happened in May.

The show hasn’t really specified when they got together and if it happened immediately after their second time or if they danced around it a little bit before starting a romantic relationship, but since the time they slept together again, they have shown that they do talk,  

notice when the other is bothered or worried about something,

think of little things to please one another,

that they share a bedroom now,

and have a routine at home, having meals together, etc.

I mean, the very fact he was already about to put his shirt on before Madison told him to indicates that they they know each well, that they can predict what the other is thinking, that they have a little system of their own.

It’s also stated that Madison knows about Kevin’s ‘broken parts’

and she trusts and believes in him.

Plus, not only that, but she doesn’t think they’re flaws at all.

The fact she thought she had lost her babies and she just wanted KEVIN’S company shows their relationship was already considerably serious back THEN:

And THIS IS KEVIN after their second time:

He is embracing her and has his fingers wrapped around her arm, sort of locking her in, he is fondling her hair, when Madison slightly moves her head he goes down to her shoulder because while he doesn’t want to wake her up, he still just can’t bring himself to stop touching her, he is savoring the moment, he is savoring Madison. There are many ways they could’ve implied they had slept together and introduce the beginning of their relationship, but they specifically chose THIS WAY because they were making a POINT.

And when when Kevin proposes, you can see a little hesitation, like it’s not a in-the-spur-of-the-moment-kind-of thing, 

that he’s actually been considering it for a while, his head is telling him to wait a little longer, but his heart is telling him to just act on his feelings and he ultimately goes with the latter.

You can see there is a bit of nervousness and vulnerability when he pulls down her mask because he didn’t initially understand her response:

and and THIS is his reaction when she accepts:

This is simple and pure fulfillment.

Yet, Madison understands how Kevin can get ahead of himself, which is why she gives him an out, but Kevin chooses not to take it back.

And he says that very with confidence and determintion.

Plus, he goes around referring to Madison as his fiancée to strangers.

Madison wasn’t forcing Kevin to do anything and he wasn’t forcing himself to do anything either, he was being genuine and acting on feelings he had both shown and mentioned multiple times, not only to her but other people as well.

Emphasis for him getting emotional just by TALKING about her here.

If ANYTHING, I’d classify his actions as impulsive, but not exactly rushed. He might have let his heart take the lead, yes, but he’s known Madison for 2 years before they hooked up, they had been talking and hanging out together and alone for about THREE months, they had been QUARANTINING together for around MORE THREE OTHER MONTHS. I think their peculiar situation actually justifies getting engaged so fast, they have spent a lot of time getting to know each other better and developing feelings for one another, not to mention the knowledge and familiarity they already had with each other since 2018.

And Justin himself has mentioned that Kevin is more thoughtful about his actions now and that he considers Madison and their children as well:

So I doubt he would’ve proposed and stuck to that proposal if his heart wasn’t settled on it, specially with the way he looks and talks about her. I believe that he is starting to get nervous now that there are a lot of things going on or about to happen.

Before, Kevin and Madison were in their little bubble, living together, getting to know each other, falling in love, dating, in a certain way, we could compare it to a honeymoon.

Now he is back at work, Rebecca still has a degenerative disease, her memory will deteriorate, she will lose her autonomy at some point, he is away of her, he is still at odds with Randall, he is away from Randall and his nieces, he is away of his uncle and second father figure, the babies could be born at any moment, he is afraid of not being a good father, of passing his problems on to his children, about his age, physical appearance, sobriety, he wants to do this movie so he can get a big award and bring Rebecca along with him to see it, he worries about doing things right with his relationship with Madison... And that’s all happening in the middle of a pandemic. it’s A LOT OF STRESS.

Now, add Kevin’s overall self-consciousness. Kevin is naturally insecure. He’s said and shown that multiple times for all these years. He doubts his talent, intelligence, wisdom, maturity, it took him a while to see himself as someone that could be a father and responsible for another human being. When things get though, his nature is to doubt himself, to think he’s not good enough, not capable enough, he’s gone as far as thinking that his issues weren’t worth of attention and care, that his parents didn’t love him as much as his siblings, he almost gave up starring on his old TV show because he didn’t think he was funny enough, there is a scene from season 1 when he’s reading the script of the play and he starts questions if if he even UNDERSTANDS the play. 

And as Justin emphasized, he just keeps adding things to his plate, he got a part on a movie when he is about to become a father of two and has a lot of things happening in his family, not to mention his own physical and mental health.

So, I can see a moment when Kevin is overwhelmed and he has a nervous breakdown and questions everything he does, including as a fiancée and/or he overreacts and thinks Madison doesn’t reciprocate his feelings and his mind just goes to the worst case scenario, like maybe things don’t work out and he loses her while also not getting to be as involved in their children’s as he expected because they’re not together anymore. Which makes sense considering this is his most mature relationship to date and he is dealing with problems he’s never dealt with. He’s gonna freak out at some point. Plus, it also matches what Justin said on this very own interview:

Also, on this one:

And despite the dramatic and exaggerated headline, he added this as well: 

And said this quite recently too:

So, he will probably panic at some point, which is normal, but like Justin pointed it out, it’s out of a place of FEAR, not second thoughts. If things don’t work out, it affects him, Madison, the children, Kate, Jack and Toby to the very LEAST, because they’re all close... However, it will work out and Madison will help him ease and navigate this situation better as well. They’ll be partners and work as a real couple should and does.

STILL, Justin always likes to remind us Kevin is all in. He did it now:

and for the past NINE months:

So, my guess is that he is overwhelmed with all things considered and maybe getting a part on this movie isn’t helping and he might even get to the point of having to prioritize things, but whether he has to choose between his family and the movie or manages to balance both out, HE IS PUTTING HIS FAMILY FIRST.

Plus, if you watch the promo, Madison reminds Kevin he promised he was “all in” and he replies "I know what I said”, with calmness, certainty and determination.

And they also have these clothes on:

Then, you have them in different clothes,

on what appears to be the next day.

And you can see they tried really hard to capture the most enigmatic expressions,

but on the last picture you can see a smile forming on her face.

And since the article affirms there will be a direct answer to that on the next episode... 

Madison having a smiling on her face gives me enough reason to do the same myself. 

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

4 with reddie?

4. Teacher/Single Parent AU

* * * * *

Richie had been an elementary school teacher for five years now and he had had his fair share of crazy kids and kids who were absolutely amazing. Yet, none of them quite stood out to him in the way that Lacey Kaspbrak did. She was a spunky, yet shy little girl who was also very smart and could learn something on the spot. She was always willing to learn new things, even if she didn’t understand at first, which Richie was in awe of. Lacey wouldn’t give up easily.

One of the things that Richie absolutely hated though, was the way Lacey was bullied. He had reported it many times, even spoken to the youngster privately about coming to him if she felt unsafe, but she never did. Richie knew it was because the girls who were tormenting her were threatening to make things worse if she ratted on them.

He had even tried to catch them out in the act, but was either too slow, too fast or there wasn’t enough evidence to report the incident. It was all very frustrating, as they were eight years old. No eight year old should be bullying, or getting bullied, it was as simple as that.

When the first parent/teacher conference rolled around, Richie was more than ready to discuss the incidents with Lacey’s parents, to ask if they had noticed anything at home or if Lacey had mentioned anything to them about troubles at school. He had all the paperwork sat out of his desk when the door knocked and a man, no older than him, walked in. He looked rather flushed in the face and the first thing that came to Richie’s mind when he got a proper look was; Fuck, that man is cute! Cute, cute, cute!

“I’m so sorry I’m late Mr Tozier, I had to drop Lacey off and then there was traffic. I hope I didn’t hold you back too much?” The man stammered out and Richie’s eyes widened just a little bit more. Oh no, oh god no. This was Lacey’s dad? Fuck, this wasn’t good.

Regaining composure, Richie cleared his throat and shook his head, motioning to the seat across from his desk, “Not at all, please take a seat.” He waited until he was seated across from him and smiled, “Mr Kaspbrak…”

“Eddie, please.” Eddie interrupted, a smile on his own face. “I hate it when people call me my last name. Please just call me Eddie.” He rested his arms on the desk and took a breath. “How has Lacey been? I haven’t had any calls about her, so I’m assuming everything has been okay with her schooling?”

Richie tensed a little and he bit his lip, “I was hoping to be able to talk to you, not about Lacey’s schooling as she is the smartest girl in her class and is always willing to learn, but about some issues between her and her peers.” He watched as Eddie’s face fell a little and he quickly continued, “Have you noticed anything in Lacey’s behaviour since the beginning of the school year?”

“Not...not that I am aware of,” Eddie whispered, shaking his head, a pained look on his face. “What’s been going on? Please tell me, I need...I need to know what’s going on with my little girl.” Richie felt his heart ache at the sight of Lacey’s dad looking so...distraught at the thought of his daughter being tormented.

It took a few moments of composure before Richie began to explain the ins and outs of what had been happening in his classroom. He also explained that he had tried on many attempts to report it to higher management, but there simply was not enough proof. “She’s strong, Eddie,” Richie finally breathed. “I can see that she doesn’t want to let them bother her, but I can also see that it does. A teacher shouldn’t have favourites, but I have a soft spot for Lacey, and I want her to be happy in my class.”

Eddie was quiet for a moment before he ran his fingers through his hair, “Things haven’t exactly been easy for us...ever. I’m not sure if you were made aware of our situation when Lacey transferred here?” He asked and Richie shook his head in a negative. “Lacey’s mother didn’t want her when she was born, and I was with my ex husband at the time, we were young and naive and she was a friend of a friend. So we offered to adopt her. Everything went swimmingly and Lacey became a part of our family...of my family. My ex didn’t really want anything to do with her, and I soon found out it was because he was seeing someone else behind my back. It was tough, and ugly, but we got a divorce with me gaining full custody of Lacey.” Eddie took another breath. “She was young, but these things stay with you no matter what and I’m sure it couldn’t be difficult for the other children’s parents to find out Lacey was being raised by an openly gay man.”

That seemed to strike a chord with Richie, and he felt a little sick. Slowly, he placed his hands on the table and tried to force a smile onto his face. “Well, I certainly hope that isn’t the case, considering their children are being taught by an openly gay man.”

Eddie’s eyes widened a little and he leaned back on the chair, “I see.” He pursed his lips. “You’ll take care of her...right? When she’s in your class? You’ll look out for her.”

Richie nodded his head, “Of course I will.” This time his smile was genuine. “Put it like this, Eddie, if Lacey was to snap and actually hit one of those kids? I will just so happen to be looking the other way at that time, leaving no credible witnesses.”

That managed to get a laugh out of Eddie and Richie felt a sense of pride and he had managed to turn his frown upside down. “You know, Lacey talks about you all the time. I was honestly a little nervous about meeting the infamous Mr Tozier. She has never had a relationship with any of her previous teachers like she does with you.”

“Well then, it must be my amazing charm and my skill with sock puppets,” Richie winked and Eddie burst into laughter. “If you want...and feel free to say no, but we can always meet up occasionally. To talk about Lacey and her progress. Over coffee maybe?”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, “Sounds like you're asking me out on a date, Mr Tozier.”

Shaking his head, Richie leaned a tiny bit closer, “Not at all, this is highly professional. Anyway, I can't date the parents of my students.”

“Ahh,” Eddie nodded his head slowly before pushing the chair back. It was the end of the session and Richie had another three parent’s to see that night. “Well, I’ll think about it.” He pulled a pen out of his pocket and grabbed a piece of paper, scribbling something down. His number. “It was nice to meet you, Mr Tozier.”

“The pleasure was all mine, Eddie. All mine.”

* * * * *

@3tothe1 @anellope @annxmatron @appojoos @are-you-reddie-for-it @beepbeeprichiellc @bi-bi-richie @billdenbrough @bitchbrak @callmechee @dadbodrichie @derrylosers @disneyfan567 @eds-trashmouth @eduardoandale @feldmancorey @girasol-eddie @gloire-celeste @halfway-happy353 @hawkinsbabe @inthebreadbinwrites @itfandomprompts @its-stranger-than-you-think @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @kaspzier @lifesucksheres20bucks @loserslibrary @losers-gotta-stick-together @madidraw @mars-14 @marsisaplanetyall @moonlightrichie @nancynwheeler @no-she-wasnt-reddie @oldguybones @pink-psychic @purplepoisonedgem @queen-sock @ransonelovebot @rebecca-the-queen @reddie-for-anything @reddie-to-cryy @reddieforlove @reddiesetandgo @richietoaster  @roobarrtrashmouth @rreddies @s-onora @s-s-georgie @sashadrowned @sedanleystanley @sloppybitchreddie @sparklingrainbowdragon @spirited-marvel @stellarbisexual @studpuffin @takeourpure @that-weird-girls-blog @thegoshdiddlydangdoor @thejadeazalea @thorn-harvester-ven @tinyarmedtrex @tozier-boy @tozierking @toziesque @trashmouthtozierr @twoidiotsinl0ve @violetreddie @virgo-luthie @wilding-throught-thehallways @xandertheundead @xcottoncandykatx 

[fan4196]

Twenty years (Part2)

A big thank you to everyone who read the first part. Thanks for the nice comments and thanks again to @angry-slytherin for beta reading. I'm so happy that you liked it. So here's the second part. Enjoy!

-

It's really him. Older, greyer, but it's him. Wearing that black jacket he always wore.

Wow.

Jo isn't quite sure what to feel right now. And she can see in his deep brown eyes that he is feeling the same.

"Jo."

It's a whisper. And all he can say in this moment. Never in a hundred years had he thought that he would ever see her again.

20 years ago he left her behind to live with his kids in Kansas.

The hardest decision he had ever made in his entire life. Because Jo was the love of his life.

Man, he had loved this woman so freaking much.

And now she's standing in front of him. He has no idea what to say. What to do.

Should he say nothing? Do her kids know who he is? Did she tell them? Does her husband know? Where is her husband? A million thoughts keep running through Alex's head.

But there was one that was louder than the others. 'Why the hell did I ever leave her?'

Back then he had told himself that it was better that way, because she deserved way better than him and his twisted, complicated life.

But now he is standing in front of her and way to many emotions are running through his body along with those thoughts.

Damn, is she pretty.

After 20 years she is still so damn beautiful.

And hot. He had always loved it when she wore his clothes.

Wait was she -? Was that one of his old shirts?

The silence buzz got louder again around Alex and he snaps out of his thoughts from the voice of his daughter.

"Do- do you know each other?"

Alexis and Parker exchange some confused looks, when Emery joins the crazy scenery.

"Yes." Jo is the first one that found her voice again, still lost in his eyes.

"Well, shouldn't we let our guests come inside and maybe close the door? It's freezing." Emery tries to loosen up the situation and steps beside her mother.

"Yes- sure- of course. Do you- do you want to stay for dinner?"

Her eyes are still on Alex, asking the question directly to him.

"Sure."

Making a step towards Jo he takes of his jacket.

Alexis does the same as her father and Parker takes the jackets from them.

With that they all get into the kitchen.

Everybody takes a seat while Jo got the spaghetti of the stove and puts it in the middle of the table.

And then takes her seat next to her daughter, opposite from Alex, of course.

The kids quickly start a conversation, while Alex and Jo quietly eat their spaghetti.

"So- how have you been?" Not looking up from his plate Alex takes another bite.

"Good. Good."

This is awkward.

"That's good. I'm happy for you. I-"

"Ok, stop. We don't have to do this, Alex. Let's just-"

But Jo got caught off by her daughter.

"So, tell us, how do you two know each other, mom?"

Three pair of eyes stare at them curiously.

"We- ahm..."

Alex tries to start, but Jo interrupts him.

"Well, we worked at Grey Sloan together. We were friends back then. T- then ahm- we dated and a few years later we got- married."

Like a band-aid you have to rip off quick, she answers quick and hopes to be over with the conversation but of course not.

The three pair of eyes stare at them, mouths open.

Jo's kids know that their mother was married twice and also divorced twice. They know about Paul and they know about Alex. They also know that Alex was the love of her life. Jo never keep that a secret. She wanted her kids to know that there is light and darkness when it comes to love.

But Jo never showed them any pictures of Alex because she couldn't. It was still hurting to much to look at pictures of her and Alex and see how happy they were.

"What?"

Alexis mouth closes first.

"S- so that's your Ex-wife Jo, dad? The one you left for us?"

Even after 20 years those words hurt and Jo couldn't do this right now. Sitting at a dining table with her Ex- husband, his daughter and her son and daughter, eating dinner together like a family.

It was a little to much right now.

Without a word she kicks her chair back and leaves the kitchen, running down the hall, up the stairs into her bedroom.

Emery is about to follow her mom but Alex interrupts her.

"Let me."

"Last door on the left."

He nods thankfully at the girl and makes his way up.

He's taking a deep breath before he knockes softly on her bedroom door.

Without an answer he opens the door and walks into the room.

She's lying in the middle of the big, neatly made queen-size bed, her face  flat on one of the big grey pillows with a wet spot underneath her cheek. It still hurts his heart to see her cry.

Like the last 20 years never happened he's sitting down on the edge of the bed, beside her and starts stroking her tears away.

"I'm so sorry, Jo. For everything. I'm so freaking sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I never- I really don't know what to say."

He's still stroking her wet cheek, when she opens her eyes and looks up to him.

"This. That down there. That was supposed to be us. That could have been us. But you decided that I wasn't worth it."

Another tear rolls down her face and Alex quickly wipes it away with his thumb before it hits the pillow.

"That's not true, Jo. Don't ever say that again. I decided that way because I knew that you were worth so much more. You deserved so much better than me-"

"But I didn't want better, Alex! I wanted you. I wanted my life with you. I wanted kids with you. A house with you. I wanted to grow old with you. You! Only you!"

She was now sitting up, opposite from Alex, crying hysterically and shouting at him.

"I thought I did the right thing by leaving you behind and not dragging you into something that you didn't sign up for."

There were tears in his eyes too.

"But I did sign up for that."

All this time he thought that he made the right decision. Not for him but for her.

But sitting here seeing her cry made him realized that this woman is even more amazing than he ever thought.

She would have gone with him in a heard beat, without even thinking twice.

She would have left everything behind to move to Kansas with him and she would have been a mother to children that weren't hers.

It hit him. She would have done everything for him because she loved him that much.

"I'm so sorry, Jo. I wish I could turn back time."

There were tears streaming down his cheeks now too. But he didn't care.

Without a word she leans forward and puts her arms around his neck.

Crying into his blue t-shirt. Calming down slowly by inhaling his scent.

His head is buried in the crook of her neck, taking a deep breath, while holding her as close as he can.

"Izzie and I never made it. When I arrived, there already was a man that they called dad. She died two years after I left here. I got full custody for the twins but I couldn't tear them from their home.

I thought about calling you but I knew you deserved better. And it looks like you got it. Your kids are amazing, Jo.

I think your husband will kill me for saying this, but I thought about you every day. I missed you, Jo."

He's talking right into her ear, his face still buried in her hair.

She loosens the grip around his neck a little bit but didn't let him go fully.

"I don't have a husband."

It's not more than a whisper but he hears her very clear.

He looses his grip now and looks her directly in the eyes while he brushes her tears away.

"I never found a better one than the last one I had."

He's smiling at her softly.

And without even thinking twice his lips meet hers.

They are exactly like he remembered them.

After that kiss they layed down together.

Like in the old times he puts his strong arms around her while her head is on his chest, listening to his heard beat.

And they talk for hours.

They talk about her twins.

About his twins.

About life.

About the past.

The future.

And what the fure could hold for them.

Together.

[jckelly]

updated intro / 25/09/20

Is that JACK FIELDING? Wow, they do look a lot like VAN MCCANN. I hear HE is an NINETEEN year old FRESHMEN who are studying AEROSPACE ENGINEERING  at Luxor University. Word is they are an ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be PHILOPHOBIC and INSINCERE, but on the bright side they can also be WITTY and IMAGINATIVE. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself. [YUNI, 20, GMT, SHE/HER]

hello to anyone who has yet 2 be cursed w my presence in their dms, i am yuni and this is  an updated intro for my demon boi jack! this one is a lilll bit more in depth but not to worry there is a tl;dr at the end ion expect u to read this. feel free to dm me if you would like to plot!

01: BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: Jackson Noel Fielding (previously Kelly; recently changed)

Nicknames: Jack - he dislikes the use of his full first name, and only really answers to Jack, unless joking around with Caitriona. 

Date Of Birth: December 4, 2001 (currently aged 19)

Zodiac: Sagittarius sun, Leo ascendant, and Aries moon. 

Place Of Birth: Northern General Hospital, Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England. 

Nationality: Dual UK and US citizenship; he was born and raised in England so was a UK citizen from birth, and acquired US citizenship through his American adopted mother after being formally adopted in 2017. 

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual 

Course: Aerospace Engineering (Freshman)

02: PHYSICAL

Faceclaim: Van McCann 

Voiceclaim: Also Van McCann (but w ... not a Welsh accent LOL think Northern)

Ethnicity: White (English, Irish, Scottish)

Height: 173cm (5′8)

Weight: 52kg (115lbs) / BMI 17.4

Eye Colour: Blue

Hair Colour: Brown

Distinctive Features: Freckles (many), ear piercings (one hoop in his left ear), scars on his wrists which he hides with long sleeved shirts. 

Clothing Preference: Jack really only wears black, or something close to black like grey. He usually opts for simple clothes, just jeans and long sleeved shirts, and beat up black converse. His Sheffield United hoodie makes an appearance more often than not, because he has a ridiculous amount of hometown pride. 

03: PERSONALITY

Overview

Positive Traits: Witty, imaginative, perseverant, passionate

Negative Traits: Philophobic, disloyal, insincere, callous

MBTI: ENTP

Religious Beliefs: Atheist 

Description

The first side most people see of Jack is the side he wants you to see. A total asshole. It’s not an exaggeration - he’s pretty much infamous for flirting with everyone, dating anyone and as a serial cheater. He’ll actively try to worm his way into your life, and then just when you start to care, he does something to hurt you. He’s strangely persistent, probably helping him to push people even further, until they snap. There is nothing which satisfies him more than managing to wind people up to the extreme, get them to the point where they give up. Adopted parents, friends, nobody is immune to this side - he even tries it on the people he genuinely cares about, as if just to see if he’ll still be able to push them away.

The second side, which most people don’t see, is that at heart Jack is a kid. He’s the type of person to ask if owls have ears at 3am, or get some childlike joy out of dumb jokes. Of course, this is the side nobody but a very small number of people see. And even if you do see it, it never lasts long. He keeps his true personality under wraps even amongst those he does like, and it only slips out if he’s extremely comfortable with you. Otherwise, he’ll go straight back to being a sarcastic, flirty piece of shit.

04: PAST

Biography: 

Jackson Kelly was born in a council estate in Sheffield, South Yorkshire, in the UK. His life prior to adoption is not something he routinely talks about, but that’s mostly because he’d rather not give people reasons to pity him: his mother, 15 when she gave birth to him, was a drug addict; he has no idea who his birth father is or was, and no inclination to find out. Jack’s first ten years of life pretty much fell into the same cycle: get put into foster care, his mother would get clean and take him back, and then the cycle would repeat. But when the cycle ended when he was ten, and he was removed from his mother’s care for good, he wasn’t ready for it to end yet.

Sure, she wasn’t the best parent. But she was his mother. Jack quickly developed a reputation for running away, always found back at the same place. Foster parent after foster parent always ended up returning him, unable to cope with his rebellious tendencies and the constant hunt for him after he had run. As he aged, he only became better at avoiding being found. It practically became a game to him, a way for him to entertain himself. So when a wealthy American heiress and her British CEO husband decided that  of all people, they wanted to foster a now thirteen year old Jack, social workers almost wanted to ask if they’d misspoke. (Jack had assumed it was a practical joke.)

Claire and George, his new “parents,” were patient. They said he didn’t have to call them mum or dad, that even after they officially adopted him two years later he could keep his own surname, that they just wanted him to be happy. They moved him to a better school, got a private tutor to make up for lost time, tried to take an interest in his favourite things. But that wasn’t enough for Jack. Eventually, the situation resulted in drastic measures: a rainy afternoon with a social worker being told that Claire wanted to move the family to her birthplace of New York, and send Jack to the school she had attended many years prior. A fresh start would be better for him, they said. As if Jack didn’t know the real reason. He couldn’t run away if he was thousands of miles away.

And that was how a fifteen year old Jack made his way to Carnifex, with absolutely no change to his desire to wreak havoc or to his somewhat disturbing attitude towards other people. Therapists paid for by his adopted parents might say he was pushing people away to manifest emotions about neglect in early life; Jack would just say that he was keeping things interesting. Either way, the next couple years of his life escaped past him, and before he knew it he was in a school office, being told that his birth mother had died.

Obviously, Claire and George freaked, as if he would do anything. Pulled him out of school for a month, flew him back to England for the funeral, and practically wrapped Jack in bubble wrap like he was a baby or something. All he wanted to do was go back to school, ignore the guilt he felt in his stomach for letting them take him away, and go back to what he did best.

Timeline: 

December 4 2001 - Jackson Noel Kelly is born in Sheffield.

2005 - Jack is removed from his mother’s care for the first time. He is frequently removed from her care and then placed back in it for the next seven years of his life. 

2012 - Jack is removed from his mother’s custody permanently and placed in a temporary foster home. He bounces through foster homes for the next few years, including one where he meets Caitriona and becomes close with her. 

2014 - Jack is fostered by Claire and George. He resists any attempt for them to get close to him, and continues to act out. 

December 2016 - Jack is legally adopted by Claire and George, acquiring US citizenship, although he does not change his surname. 

January 2017 - Jack attempts suicide. He is placed in therapy and plans are made for his relocation to the US. 

March 2017 - Claire and George move back to America, taking Jack with them. He begins attending Carnifex. He continues to visit the UK regularly to visit his birth mother, who he keeps in contact with. 

April 2020 - Jack’s birth mother dies. He immediately disappears from school for a month, without telling anyone where he went. 

May 2020 - Jack returns to Luxor. It’s later accidentally blurted out mid fight with Zander that his mother is dead. 

June 2020 - Jack graduates and Leo tells the school Jack attempted suicide. 

September 2020 - Jack legally changes his surname from his birth name - Kelly - to his adopted parents surname, Fielding. 

December 2020 - Zander and Ches spread posters around claiming that Jack is HIV positive and gave it to Balo. They don’t provide any proof for this allegation, and Jack continues to deny it.

(These are the events ur character would probs vaguely know about!!! Anything else is personal info so they wouldn’t know unless Jack explicitly told them. Feel free to ask me if you’re ever unsure if something is ic knowledge or not!) 

05: OTHER TRIVIA

- He has a fairly strong Yorkshire accent which is obviously something other characters would likely notice when interacting with him. So if he uses words you don’t know it’s safe to assume he’s just being his dumb British self so you are free to have your character question the meaning/not know. (LMK if you’re unsure tho!)

- His favourite band is Oasis (closely followed by Arctic Monkeys), favourite film is Fight Club,  go to drink is either a double vodka coke or a pint of Heineken, and his favourite place is Leadmill in Sheffield because it’s where he’s seen some bands (and fucked girls in the bathroom. Such a romantic.)

- Dyslexic, but if you mention it Jack will fight you, although it’s partially why he leans more toward math based subjects where his spelling ability is irrelevant. 

- Notoriously has a thing for redheads, although that doesn’t prevent him from being crude and sexual towards anyone he happens to meet or interact with.

- Chain smokes anything he can get his ratty little hands on (cigarettes, weed, meh) so expect him to smell of ciggies 24/7. 

- Diehard supporter of Sheffield United and insists there is no better football team even though they really suck

- Weetabix, Weetabix, Weetabix 

06: NOTABLE CONNECTIONS

Within Luxor:

- Friendships: Caitriona, Balo, Avery, Zai, Oakley, Lennon

- Former Relationships: Oakley Prescott 

- Current Relationship: Juliet McCoy

NPCS

- Claire Richardson Fielding & George Fielding: Jack’s adopted parents, who just want to love him despite him being terrible to them. 

- Lauren Kelly: His birth mother, who he misses a lot. 

- Violet Richardson: Claire’s mother, who for some reason adores Jack and considers him her favourite grandchild. Meaning Jack will probably inherit everything when she dies, although he doesn’t really think about that. 

- Emily French: His ex girlfriend from back home, also known as the only girl who Jack truly cared about before Juliet. She broke up with Jack for being too toxic, which although fair, fucked him up for a little bit. Not that he’d admit it. 

07: CONNECTION IDEAS/WCS

Exes (Lots)

Jack has a habit of dating people, dropping them as soon as feelings get involved, cheating on them, and generally being an asshole. So if you want an ex for your muse… yeah.

Enemies

Again, he tends to happily mess with as many people as he possibly can. So he’s probably gotten on the wrong side of at least a couple people.

Friends (fake or real)

Like when he dates, he tends to get close to people before ditching them or screwing with them. So people who think they’re his friends but who aren’t really as close as they think are very welcome. I’m also down to have a couple people who can be the few he genuinely cares about.

08: TL;DR

If you already knew Jack at Luxor:

Little has changed! He’s the same manipulative dick as ever except that he has legally changed his surname. Your characters are tots fine to comment on the change, it’s not a secret or anything. 

If this is your unfortunate first experience with Jack: 

Jack is manipulative, crude, outright insulting, and nasty. He enjoys nothing more than messing with people, and often acts friendly initially just to hurt you later. He is British, adopted, and I call him rat man. 

[ziracona]

What sort of detective Shenanigans does meg get up to?

All kinds. Some of it ends up more like investigative journalism, some more traditional, some downright wild. Tapp tries to start her off small and get her to do safer jobs, because she’s just been through one life-threatening extended period, but Meg is...incorrigible, to say the least. Most of their first cases completed were smaller ones—missing pets, stolen property, anonymous threats. Meg really wanted to work missing persons, and kind of expected mostly to be doing that, and hunted some down specifically and got some, but those are pretty overwhelming and distressing. Still, there’s a lot of good and incredibly basic and not hard to do work law enforcement simply doesn’t get done that one or two very determined individuals with minimal equipment absolutely can do, so they get a lot done. First missing persons case completed they got a kid who had been missing for two years back from a parent who kidnapped her from the parent who had custody when she was four. They actually only thought they had a lead to the dad’s last known address and had been lead to believe he’d moved out two months ago, so they were completely unprepared when he opened the door, panicked, and attacked them. They got shot at, and Meg bounced back real hard becuase they were both fine, got a dangerous man off the streets, she got to see Tapp tackle someone, and she got to carry a kid out of a horrible environment and drive them to a restaurant to get food while comforting them and calling their mom, and then reunite a family. Tapp on the other hand, was horrified, becuase Meg got shot at.

After that, he tried really hard to get her to swing towards more safe cases, or to at least go about things differently, but it had the opposite effect on Meg, who decided she wanted to accept a request to look into a murder being thoroughly ignored by law enforcement in the area even though it was overwhelmingly clear who did it. Tapp didn’t take well to the request, because it was exponentially more dangerous, and they had their first real work fight over it, but Meg woke up at like 3am to get a snack and saw him up investigating back research on it on his own because he’d been super lying about being willing to ignore it and just hadn’t wanted her involved, and after that she figured out pretty easily if she wanted to do a more precarious case, Tapp would also want to do it, but not want her to, because he was scared for her, relented a little, and absolutely kept investigating more serious cases, but extremely carefully and always with complete discussion with Tapp beforehand. Tapp was still wary, but Meg doing dangerous stuff super carefully with him and under his guidance was better than Tapp says no so Meg goes off and does something stupid alone, and gave that a try. It has worked out well. It also has been unexpectedly helpful that Meg loves to document. She started doing video diaries/documenting cases and uploading them (although while sometimes live streaming even, if it’s something someone could see and use to know they’re being investigated, always at an intelligently later date instead haha) as a for fun thing and to keep her pals informed, but it got a decent amount of attention. The plus side of this is that no one can just murder either of them and cover it up, the downside (or upside, depending on who you ask) is that this also means that sometimes people know who they are when it is inconvenient & a situation where a disguise (which Meg enjoys wearing so ridiculously much) will not cut it, and they have to call in Susie or Michael or any one of their 50 friends to come lend an assist. (Everyone but Tapp considers this a plus. Tapp considers it a nightmare. Living with Meg easily adds 10 hours to his life span per day, but living with Meg also definitely /subtracts/ six hours off his lifespan most days, which is still a really substantial net gain, but he’s for sure feeling the effects of both as they happen (I realize by this math Tapp will live forever, or at least until/if Meg dies. Idk what to tell you. I guess he will.)

Anyway, the full answer is they do a little everything. They try to go one case at a time, but that doesn’t /always/ work out. And while sometimes they work murders or assaults or track down stalkers or people running animal fighting, sometimes they spend four days looking for a missing pet or a lost hiker, or proving a school expelled a student unfairly, or that someone in corporate management broke a law and the Target employe was ordered against disability law to work without their documented and by law required accommodation, etc—they’ve actually weirdly gotten the most actual financial profit from that kind of thing/assisting in lawsuits, and in stopping scam artists. They have like, tracked down a lot of scam artists. Specifically the kinds who do things like the Grandparent scam (were you call a grandma in the middle of the night sobbing pretending to be a grandkid you know they have from Facebook, say you’ve been arrested, and patch in just enough believability from public details, and sobbing to make it hard to recognize a voice or not for sure, especially on someone ahead of hearing, and two people playing a cop and lawyer to back you up, that you manipulate them to empty out their accounts and send cash overnight to “pay bail”)—which is the kind of crime law enforcement pretty much will never do anything to rectify at all and you’re just f’d, won’t usually even intercede if the grandparent realizes post-sending the money and before it is for sure picked up.

Meg’s heart will always be most in Missing Persons cases, as probably will Tapp’s (although I think he’s about as motivated to work murders. Homicide was his former department, and he cares deeply about people getting closure and justice for the loss of their loved ones. I’d say he prefers working Missing Persons cases though, even if he doesn’t care more, because sometimes those have a happy ending). They get along well and make quite a team (them and their doggo, who has greatly enjoyed it and been useful trying to find missing animals and people lost in the woods by scent). Tapp makes Meg take a steady supply of less terrifying cases for the sake of literally everyone, and looks out for her. Meg works hard to actually not get killed and do the job right, and is extremely happy in the line of work she chose. She kind of wanted to be a superhero as a kid, and even if that wasn’t very practical, it stuck with her. This isn’t totally the same—still no Spider-Man powers—but she is kinda doing only just barely technically not vigilante justice, and she’s helping people. She feels fulfilled. The only thing Tapp does not do well leading this operation is making them take breaks, because Tapp doesn’t know how to take care of himself and shut off crime fight mode. Thankfully, Meg is pretty good at that because she does shots of loving her friends juice every morning and needs to see them constantly. When she hits that ADHD focus real hard and forgets too, Susie Taylor, Michael Tapp, and Rachel Thomas reel them in just fine. They spend a lot of time hanging with the whole party, and have found a pretty good balance so far between work and life. Haha, I think with as many people watching out for them as they have, they could hardly do anything but.

Side note: I know this was specifically about Meg, but for the record, Kara and Tapp are on friendly/casual terms again by about two years out as well. Things are still a little awkward, but they’re at the stage of beyond past hurt and plus gained familiarity again where they can remember why they got married as well as why she broke it off. He gets to see her sometimes, and it’s nice. They’re kind of taking it slow, and I don’t think romance would ever ever be in their future again, but I think it’s safe to say they will stay some kind of friends.

[babybadger]

Ruben Loftus Cheek Imagine - Most Glad

Ruben had never imagined himself as someone who was going to have a family young. He always thought that he would focus on his football career and have kids when he was coming to the end of his career at like 30. This, however, all changed when he met you and your daughter.

You had been blessed with your daughter after a one night stand. Her ‘father’ wanted nothing to do with her and therefore you had full custody. There was no way you were settling in a relationship that your daughter wasn’t happy with. She always came first and her opinion mattered most to you. Amber was now 4. She was such a bright girl. Her passions included, dancing, running around, chasing friends and napping. Her life was pretty much perfect, except she didn’t have a daddy like all her friends did. Amber had been told that daddy was away working and he’d be home soon as he could but he’d not come home yet. You had no idea how to break it to her at 3 so you decided it was best to keep the truth just now.

You met Ruben through mutual friends. Chelsea had just won the Europa Cup and had hired out a night club for the boys and staff. Your friend was a physio there so you were invited and BANG Ruben and you met and instantly loved each other.

After 3 weeks of dating you finally admitted to him that you had a daughter, too scared that previously he would have ran at the thought of a child. Instead, he was very inquisitive; he asked about her dad, her age, her interests and their relationship. Seeing your eyes light up when you spoke about her, made him realise you were the one.

After six long months, Ruben met Amber and she was almost terrified. She’d never met such a tall man in her life. She clung to her mum as the strange man walked into her house and sat on her couch. He sat on HER spot on the couch. Amber was stunned. All mummy’s friends knew that was her spot. However you took this as an opportunity to get her talking.

“Who’s spot is that you’re sitting on Ruben? I do wonder.” You little girl who has stopped clinging to you as you stand up rubbing your chin as if you were thinking, tells you in a timid voice “mummy that’s my seat. “You turned slowly towards Ruben “Oh my goodness no WAY are you in Ambers seat!” You say totally overreacting to make your princess laugh. She gives you a slight smile in return.

You lean down beside your daughter “I think you better tell Ruben that’s your spot.” Your little girl grinning at you as she shyly asks him to move. “Hmmmm don’t know if I want to” Ruben replies, getting a gorgeous giggle out your daughter. “How about we share darling?” He offers sliding over slightly to the right, leaving a space between him and the armchair. Amber looked back as you as if looking for permission and you smile and nodded.

Next thing you know, Amber and Ruben and sitting cosy beside each other and Amber is asking him lots of questions. “Why have you been at work for so long? Did you miss us? I missed you sooooooooo much..” Silence fell upon the room as you realised what had just happened. “Amber baby why don’t you go get your pjs on so we can watch a movie?” you ask trying to swallow the lump in your throat. “Okay but only if daddy is staying” She replies toddling herself over to the stairs.

Your head fell to you hands as tears fell out one by one. “Hey it’s okay, she’s confused and I don’t mind if she wants to call me dad, as long as you are okay with it” He says in a soothing voice while rubbing your back. You lift you head and kiss Ruben gently. “EW no mummy daddy kisses in front of amber” she says coming through the living room door in her pjs. “Oh is that right princess? Does that mean no kisses for daddy at all?” Ruben asks in which she laughs and squeaks out “No daddy only me give you kisses.” Amber wobbles over time him and Ruben lifts her onto his lap in which she just snuggled into his chest

She had only ever given you those type of cuddles. The ones where her head lies on his chest, her eyes barely open. Her whole tiny body slumped against him. “Will we watch something babygirl?” you ask hoping it’ll help her fall asleep. Amber mumbled out an almost incoherent Peter Rabbit. As you switch the movie on you join them on the same could, snuggling into Rubens other side.

As the movie finishes, you reluctantly lift your head to look at your daughter. Ruben’s hand was stroking the tiny hairs that were poking up and around her ponytail. “I’ll put her to bed babe, you head to your bed.” Ruben says in a low voice which in any other situation, you would have considered sexy. “Please join me after, don’t go home” you mutter out as he kisses your forehead.

A year later and a half later here you are with TWO beautiful baby girls. Your youngest born six months ago. After a 2 week stay in the hospital after a complicated birth, Amber was allowed to meet Aurora without the fright or wires and tubes etc. “ambs baby this is your new little sister, Aurora” “Awowa?” She immidiately replied making you too laugh and nodded your heads.

You look over at your little family. Oh how glad you were that Amber called him daddy that evening. How glad you were she warmed up to him fast and loves him as much as he loves her. Even more glad you could expand your family with a man that you love and trust. Most glad for the little moments.

[lianadrayton]

**CURRENTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION 11/19**

UPDATED: NOVEMBER 19th, 2020

@tupeloextras

KANE // 24 // SHE/HER // EST

DISCORD: whiskey#6583

I work nights so my replies on the dash and in discord are kind of all over the place time-wise

I am irresponsible so here is a 3rd I said I’d never have

LIANA DRAYTON-CRAWFORD

Full Name: Liana Selene Drayton-Crawford 

Nickname(s): Lia, Duchess 

Birthday: July 5th, 1978 (42) 

Hometown: Chanute, Kansas

Education: Bachelor of Science in Chemistry with a minor in Biochemistry from Northeastern University

Occupation: Waitress at Red’s Diner

Faceclaim: Amy Adams

Content Warning(s):

Divorce, Emotional Manipulation/Abuse (Implied), Cheating, 

BACKGROUND:

Liana was born & raised in Chanute, Kansas to young parents (18, 19) who had no concept of the amount of work it took to raise a child

She was raised on hard work, thrift shops, and Sunday mass by her maternal grandparents as her parents never stepped up to the plate to try their hand in raising their daughter

Already absent in much of her life, the couple broke up in their mid-20′s and her father moved to Washington state and was not heard from after that point 

Her mother never ended up going to college and ended up marrying a lineman and moved away against the wishes of her parents, officially leaving Liana behind with her grandparents

Though her parental situation was different her life with her grandparents was great

They may have been some of the poorest people in the already poor, little midwestern town.. but they were all rich in love which was what mattered the most 

The moment that Liana could get a job she did and her first job was working in a local flower shop and then moved to picking up shifts at the diner 

All of the money she made went to help her grandparents with bills even though they would protest and downright refuse her offer to help. Liana would often secretly go and pay off some small bills anyway behind their backs to help 

Anything extra of Liana’s that could be spared was saved so she could purchase a car. Her first vehicle was a 1985 Ford Escort (9 years old by the time of purchase). Issues with the vehicle were worked on by her grandfather (and sometimes Liana herself) as he used to be a mechanic in the town

Even with juggling working and school Liana managed to post outstanding scores and was named the valedictorian of her class (even though it was a small class it still felt like a great accomplishment with the way her parents had both barely graduated from high school) 

She was accepted and granted a scholarship to attend Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts for chemistry

While in Boston, Liana met Alexander “Lex” Crawford who was attending Harvard University in the neighboring Cambridge, Massachusetts for law 

The two began dating officially roughly 6 months after meeting

During Liana’s 4th year at Northeastern and Lex’s final year in law school, Liana found out that she was pregnant with Lex’s child (~2 months before graduation)

After graduation Lex proposed to Liana and the two had a fast-tracked wedding late that summer

The two would end up having 3 children in total and remain happily married for over 10 years before issues arose

MARRIAGE & DIVORCE: TW Divorce, Emotional Manipulation/Abuse, Cheating 

They welcomed their first child in 2000, a boy, named Theodore “Theo” Crawford

Even though Liana had her degree her dreams of pursuing a career were cut short and she instead became a stay-at-home mother to care for Theo full time (as per the request of her husband and his family)

Five years after the birth of Theo, Liana and Lex had another child in 2005 - this time a girl named Ava Crawford

For the first few years of marriage Lex was fairly sincere and loyal to Liana but was often swept up in the scandals of his own family’s bad behavior 

This bad behavior was often praised by other members of his family and he grew to resent Liana for keeping him from enjoying his youth 

Liana spent much of her time with the children and trying to be the perfect housewife 

In a matter of years she had gone from the only thing in her name being a 1985 Ford Escort to having access to a house in the Hamptons, cars, lake homes, and expensive time shares overseas 

She cooked, cleaned, decorated the house for each and every occasion and was always the parent who attended parent-teacher conferences and was also part of the PTA/PTO 

Lex started to go behind Liana’s back with other women (most of whom were college interns or assistants for the law firm) 

Everyone knew about it but no one would say anything since Liana never brought it up as she preferred to pretend that it wasn’t always the hot gossip amongst the circles she was in 

Lex would reel Liana back in by preying on her love for her children, informing her that if they were to divorce he would take the children and she would be left with nothing 

He would also often switch between threats against Liana and grand romantic gestures (empty, of course) to keep her attached to him just enough to not leave

She preferred to wear the rose colored glasses as long as she could though eventually they would break

The worst came when Liana would have their third child together, another boy, in 2015 (Benjamin “Bear” Crawford) 

From there things escalated quickly between Liana and Lex and they divorced in 2018 

Lex would gain full custody of the children at this time by accusations against Liana that she was alienating the children from him

The Crawford reach extended into many of the rich and elite in New England so there was no concern from Lex about keeping custody no matter what Liana did, in fact the custody battle was an attempt to lure her into doing something uncharacteristic then using that against her to ensure that the children would stay with him (though he did it for revenge against her, not because he cared for the children)

Additionally, the Crawford family did not care for Liana that much overall, believing that she was still “some girl from a cornfield in Kansas” and they often called her Dorothy 

Liana would battle with Lex in court over custody until the money ran short, additionally she would see how much of a toll the fighting took on the children and knowing she would never be able to beat her then-husband in court she stopped fighting 

Lex also took out a restraining order against Liana after their legal proceedings were finished

Even though the children had spent 90% of their lives with their mother, their father’s words (and Black Amex) proved to be much more alluring than staying with the person who had seen them through everything in their lives 

By the time the legal battles had settled down, Theo was of-age and went to college. Liana tries to keep in contact with him but he has not been that responsive (reasons not known, suspected influence from his father paying for his schooling) 

Lex offered Liana a large share of money during the divorce as well as vehicles and vacation homes all of which she rejected, only taking what was in her name only 

PERSONALITY:

Liana is very dedicated and loyal to her friends and family (even if sometimes they don’t deserve it) 

Strong work ethic! She never lost this even while being married to someone who would’ve rather just paid for everything to be done rather than do it himself

Very maternal, she tries not to mother everyone but kind of accidentally does it sometimes (she’s working hard on reeling it in) 

She’s very sweet, likes to help others when possible

Tries to see people for the best instead of the worst (hence staying with her husband for so long) even if it comes back to bite her in the ass

Can be almost a little too kind, this usually lead to her being used like a door mat but her divorce gave her some strength to push back once things got to be too much 

Walking Pinterest board, she’s creative and enjoys her little projects. Often subjecting friends to testing them out with her (whether it’s building something or baking a recipe that looks good) 

FAST FACTS:

Liana moved to Tupelo as an attempt to go somewhere where no one would know her 

She could not go home as her family there is no longer around and no one could ever track down her father after he moved to Washington 

She has deep regrets and embarrassment over not being able to get custody of her children and does not speak of them (as she does not want to explain anything) 

Her home is bare of any photographs that would hint that she has children 

She will speak of her ex-husband, but only briefly and not mention what he did but instead say that they split due to differing opinions on where they wanted their lives to lead 

She still enjoys cooking and decorating as they are some of the few things she finds comforting, she also finds having live flowers in her home 

Liana has two pets - a Great Dane named Salem and a brown tabby cat named “Billy the Kitten” based off the character of the same name from the popular mobile app Neko Atsume (both pets were handed over to Liana during the divorce) 

Liana now lives in small home with a decent yard, using the remaining money she had to purchase it mostly for the yard for Salem (the inside of the home is lined with carpet runners for the dog and there is not an abundance of furniture that is not necessary as to accommodate Salem’s size) 

Liana can be seen walking Salem often or having Salem outside with her while she gardens, Salem can wander freely around the property when Liana is outside - otherwise he is limited to the fence (which he can stick his head over) 

She has a Mercedes (which she hates) and can never get it worked on without taking it to a larger city 

She kept the Crawford part of her last name as (for whatever reason) it makes her feel closer to her children in some small way 

BEST FRIEND FROM COLLEGE TM:  (Taken WC by Ethan Morris, Jake Gyllenhaal FC)

These two met while attending Northeastern and quickly became close friends 

Just because they were close didn’t necessarily mean that he always supported or even liked the fact that Liana was dating Lex Crawford

He & Lex shared a mutual distain for one another

Even with this, the two would eventually attend each other’s weddings 

Right before he got married he asked Liana to leave Lex and to essentially have a modern-day runaway sequence with him (no points for timing) 

Unfortunately, she could not bring herself to divorce her husband at the time 

After he got married they began to drift apart

CONNECTIONS:

Friends! 

People she mothers on accident 

Other dog people (and cat)

Those who benefit/are subjected to taste testing random recipes she finds

Regulars at Red’s 

Her kid?? This could be a WC at some point I guess (We out here being flexible on most of that)

She’s not really looking for anything romantic at all - but y’know sometimes it hits you when you least expect 

Maybe someone who actually did know her from the east coast (whoops)

Everything!!

[aresfms]

「 harry styles. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 ARES BYERS 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY THREE 」year old 「 FINANCE 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 DECEMBER 2018 」and seems to be the 「 THE RECUSANT」of the group.「 ARES 」is a「 SENIOR 」 and seems to enjoy 「 BOXING AND SOCCER 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

listen don’t say i didn’t warn you, this is a lil long. but if you guys are interested in any connections ( scroll down to the end for some ideas ) then pls hit me up. im so ready.

okay basically i’ll do a summary in case y’all dont wanna read his SAD story. tw: domestic abuse, abandonment, alcohol abuse. 

Summary: ARES BYERS, 23, SENIOR.

A finance major at LexU.

He’s currently doing both soccer and boxing, but soccer would be for his athletic scholarship. ( he has a full ride )

Boxing would definitely be like more of an anger relief thing and honestly, he defs loves soccer but he knows he can’t rely on that for a forever thing. plus he defs things boxing is good money, yknow that side hustle illegal shit

Loves art like a lot.

 He visits his siblings probably every other day or whenever he can because he really is so protective of them or he’d even bring them to campus all the time even though his “ step dad” hates it.

His relationship with his mum is still super strained because she really is in denial about her toxic abusive situation with his “step dad”  and hes trying to tell her hes going to get her out and she just does not want to.

His mum is an alcoholic and his stepdad is physically abusive to them like most of her past partners which is something ares has been dealing with since he was a child.

hes solely doing finance to get a good job to get his mum and siblings out of the situation theyre in now.

he wants sole custody of his 3 siblings but i mean, he needs a stable job and place to live aka finance

 has 3 younger sisters who he adores.

HISTORY STUFF ( YIKES SOZ ) Its long everybody.

 He was born to teenage parents who hadn’t even graduated high school yet. They had a pretty tumultuous situation and his dad really didn’t think they should have a kid, but his mum thought that it would bring them closer together and make his dad mature…. Which definitely didn’t end up happening.

once Ares was born his dad stuck around for about a year or two before basically abandoning them and offering to give up parental rights to his mum Alycia.

That’s when things basically just went downhill. It really messed with his mum, obviously she was supporting ares on her own with no support from anyone, no family and very little money, at the time she had been trying to go to school but had to give that up once she was the sole provider for Ares. And the fact that someone she thought was going to be her partner abandoned her just led her down a pretty dark path.

It was just his mum and him after this. There wasn’t a lot of stability for them. His mum for a while was the only family he had. his grandma wasn’t really very supportive of his mum having the baby and living with his dad etc and they’re relationship was quite strained too.

• By the time Ares was about 12 he was already probably mature beyond his years, his mum by then had basically gave herself up to alcohol and had some pretty bad shady boyfriends in the house. Ares would definitely still vividly remember like explosive fights between her and boyfriends where things got physical between them and even to Ares from multiple different boyfriends.

His schooling was just.. a mess he definitely repeated a grade or two because of the commotion of home life.

Regardless though he was still VERY protective of his mum even if he felt pretty abandoned by her, he was just confused why she was letting these people come around when they were better on just the two of them. But that really didn’t last long, his mum ended up having multiple other kids with different people.

 So he has Maeva, Orion and Lea who are his half siblings and theyre all under 12.

I  think he definitely grew up faster than most because he always felt an urge to protect his mum and his siblings now especially. he worried about them all. He was definitely an anxious kid.

• His mum ended up marrying but honestly Ares couldn’t hate his stepfather more. He would refuse and still does refuse to call him dad or stepdad because he truly thinks he’s a piece of shit. Like he knows he treats his mum like shit and hes had no problem being physical with the both of them and once ares got old enough he really did start fighting back which only made it worse.

There’s probably been multiple times where its been ares calling the police on him after he fought with his mum but as usual his mum always takes his side which honestly fucked ares up constantly but eventually as soon as he could he was working even at like 13/14 because he was desperate to save money thinking he could help his family get out of the fucking mess they were in.

 His number one priority is and will always be his mum and his sisters even though deep down I think he has some kind of resentment towards his mum he’ll always love her. He just wishes that she would take his side especially against his “ step dad”

Basically though once he was about that age he realised he really needed to start focusing on school, grades and sport anything he could so he had some kind of chance to get into a good uni and get his family out of everything. Like he knew he’d need somewhere he could get a full ride since theyd never be able to afford it and somewhere still nearby so he could look after his sisters still.

 His stepdad knew though that ares was working even when he wasn’t supposed to be and he really took advantage of that, he was definitely beyond lazy and ares basically always felt more of a parent to his sister than anyone else.

 So basically he ended up graduating – late however he was 19 when he graduated high school because of repeats and luckily enough he got a full ride to Lexington university and he really took it within a heartbeat. He ended up choosing finance not because its anything he’s interested in but because he wanted something that would pay really well so he can support his family, but he knew he didn’t have 8 years to do medical school etc.

Personality:

 he can have a shitty attitude won’t lie, like he’s very focused and set on what he wants and needs to do and he wants no one getting in the way of that.

He’s super into boxing to release a lot of the pent up anger he obviously feels and really because he wanted to know how to fight back all the assholes his mum had in his life.

He is can be extroverted and talkative but I think with the people who aren’t close to him or to people he doesn’t have a real trust in it’s probably a pretty surface level. Its never about his family or past in fact I think that part would be something very few if any people know about.

his sisters aka his pride and joy, he probs has pictures of them in his wallet.

He likes to keep things light hearted as a distraction from himself but he definitely doesn’t let people in easily.

He really tries to avoid confrontation because it’s so triggering to him but he does have a temper which is what scares him. He is like paranoid he’s going to become a product of his environment so he goes against that as much as he can but if people come for his family or anything he would lose it.

Can be aloof.

 Has a hard time trusting anyone has good motives or will stick around because of much he’s been abandoned and how manipulative the people in his mums were.

He’s cynical.

 He really holds onto grudges pretty easily.

His ass is pretty sarcastic and witty, a huge smart ass.

 He’s not into commitment right now or he’s avoiding. Like the only examples he’s ever seen of relationships have been a mess and it’s not exactly his priority. ( but lbr  whats the fun in that. )

 He tries to abstain from alcohol but he finds that pretty hard. When he does he tends to drink pretty heavily which is why he tries not to because he knows it obviously has caused his mum so much grief.

 Hes an escapist.

 He’s really super protective though, of the people he does have in his life I think he really wants to give those people the things he didn’t have so he overcompensates and would literally fight whatever or whoever for the people around him.

he hates authority.

•He definitely is really big into art but that’s also something really personal he doesn’t share much and he knows like that isn’t going to provide for his family which is exactly why he's done finance.

Connections:

MY FAVE PART!!!

Long lost half sibling aka the child his dad had after he abandoned him

Someone who is a super good influence on his sisters ( id die for this.. )

Strangers who found out they were hooking up with the same person then became friends or enemies. ( my man a nastie sometimes. )

A FWB someone he can mess with and end up talk a little deeply with bc they think its not serious.

ANYONE who is a kid of one of his mums exes, like someone she dated, bc whew why not.

a rebound, someone he used to try to get over his ex!!

a fucking roomie plssss :) ( or past roomie, he lived off campus for 3 years so defs room for multiples ) this person rlly saw... everything

someone who went on a couple dates/ messed around but then realised omg we’d be so much better off as friends, somoene who rlly has each others back.

ooo someone who has an unrequited crush on him

Or someone he hates but yknow someone who he has mad sexual tension with ( hate meaning they lowkey would ravage each other )

One of his close confidants, someone who is basically one of the few people he can confide in.

An “ex “ who he broke up without much explanation.

His dealer ( smh im the worst )

Some co workers that has his back.

Potentially someone he’s fought against esp someone who does boxing too. es

Someone on his soccer team.

he very into art, so potentially someone who he might connect or do that with, he defs shows stuff sometimes but VVVV rarely.

someone he maybe wasnt that close w/ but he knows from back home so they’d suspect about his home life and he just is not having the prying :)

Honestly any connections im down. THE USUAL, bestfriends, etc etc

[jclie]

— && guests may mistake me as ( elizabeth olsen ), but really i am ( jolie madison + cis female + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 7/29/1992 ). i am a ( musician ) and would like to stay in suite ( 314 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( driven, audacious, & charismatic ), but i can also be ( perfectionistic, reticent & self-sabotaging ) at times. personally, i like to ( paint, hike, try new recipes & sing karaoke ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( chai sugar cookies ) to have in my suite.

hi everyone! i’m red, and the only excuse i have for this dropping so late is that Work Sucks and has held me up, but i am here and ready to love u all! rlly, what better to do with the remaining bits of summer ( and being awake, tbh ) than join this super cute group and put my intro post together? so yes, here is the 411 on jolie, with a more *~cohesive~* bio and stats page on their way — i am so excited to get to know all of your muses and begin interacting! i promise i do not bite so if you’re feeling brave, pop over in the ims, or, just wait me out, because i’m sure i’ll be appearing in them soon enough :~)

general info

full name: jolie drew madison

nicknames: j, jo, jojo (calling her this is a bit of a death sentence unless you have explicit permission), mads

date of birth: july twenty-ninth, 1992 (27)

zodiac: leo

sexual orientation: bisexual

birthplace: chicago, illinois

occupation: musician

hogwarts house: slytherin

mbti: enfj

suite #: 314

tw: drug use

past

born on a wednesday in chicago, illinois to a set of parents who had a very “informal” relationship to say the least — to make a complicated situation as cut and dry as possible, jolie’s parents were best friends with benefits. her mom wound up pregnant and decided to keep the baby. instead of jumping to some rash decision like getting married solely for the sake of their child, they decided to simply remain friends and split custody in the best way they knew how that didn’t require a mediator in the form of a family court judge. her parents remained close friends (and still are) once jolie was born; custody was weirdly split with jolie spending the majority of her time with her mom. they were an unconventional sort of family but a family nonetheless. dad does something with numbers (yes, think chandler bing), and mom is a local business owner.

as a kid, jolie never knew a stranger, and therefore had no trouble making friends once she hit school age. she was the kid who never found her niche group or “clique” because her feet were wet in several of them. school was not a miserable time for her. she had her friends, was a solid a/b student. jolie was a big perfectionist though, it not uncommon for her to beat herself up over something incredibly minute and self-sabotaging herself as punishment or because she didn’t know how to adequately process her feelings of anxiousness — she’d procrastinate, cut people off or drive them away, things of that nature.

music was always in her life, but it was a very casual thing in her world, situated on a backburner. it was something that she was able to bond over with her dad more so than her mom; her dad was a massive music junkie, loved sharing his favorite songs with her, bought her her first vinyl player when she was twelve and supplied her with every album under the sun, whether it was one she wanted or one of his favorites or just one he thought she might enjoy. she was in dance classes as a preschooler (this was an epic fail, because not even her rhythm could save her from the generally awkward disaster she is whenever she dances) and took piano lessons in elementary school, but she didn’t love either? she felt very restricted when it came to formal lessons, and almost needed the freedom to explore and learn it on her own terms — she ended up teaching herself guitar on her dad’s guitar on the weekends she spent at his place. there was also the 6 month stint her junior year of high school when she and some friends started a garage band (which jolie represses to a certain degree because the embarrassment it invokes is on another level) but it was mostly just an idea formulated from boredom and was something to pass the time, nothing really serious. 

jolie found herself at a bit of a crossroads after her graduation. most of her friends were off to college but college did not seem like the kind of environment for her. she didn’t know what she wanted to do with herself or her life, but she knew she had to do something. so she pretty much copied and pasted what one of her close friends was doing at the time, decided to go to northwestern and share an apartment with her and pray that something would speak to her along the way. spoiler alert: nothing did. her first year quickly fizzled and faded for her and most of her time was spent going to parties, embracing the social scene, the like. nothing of real educational value.  

she was still fucking around when it came to music; she’d met some people in one of her creative writing classes (the only class that she legitimately finished and enjoyed) and would go to open mic nights or other gigs around town. never meeting a stranger meant jolie was good at networking, making friends with other musicians — the more she spent time immersed in the world, the more she felt compelled towards music. she began writing songs that weren’t just the product of teenage angst (see: that awful high school band), even took a few music classes at northwestern. 

by the time she hit her junior year, she was over classes and was pretty much only taking filler classes still, wasting her money while she bar tended at one of the bars close by. but she’d never felt more creatively charged; she was putting her nose to the grindstone in writing songs, recording songs in her bedroom so she wouldn’t wake up her roommates, playing gigs on her nights off work literally anywhere that would take her, and using those new-er friendships to her advantage. she had gained some local traction but things really didn’t explode until she started posting original songs online and got contacted by a few record labels. jolie was hesitant to sign with anyone but she got one of her friends in pre-law to help her look over contracts and pretend to be her manager and eventually signed. subsequently, she dropped out of college and went to work on the music thing full time.

from 21-23, jolie was pretty much doing nothing but playing festivals and clocking in hours at studios. most of her time was spent on the road and she absolutely loved it  — she loved the music festival atmosphere, loved the crowds, loved meeting other bands and fans. she was pretty much touring on the few songs she had released, covers, and unreleased tracks from a wip, but it worked for her and it worked for the fans. she released her first album, ultraviolet on her 23rd birthday, and hit the road again. 

jolie missed her “college” life with the parties and socialization at her fingertips, so she started elbowing her way into that scene while she was on tour — at first, it wasn’t anything to bat an eye at, but jolie’s limits were very fluid. being on tour was draining and the perfectionist in her would always find something to berate herself about, and getting out of her head was the only way that she felt she could truly enjoy the whirlwind success that was happening to her. the drugs started as a one-time thing, just to try it, and then she was using regularly, and then it got to a point where she couldn’t go more than an hour without a line of coke. the drugs stripped away a lot of what made her jolie and left her with a more miserable, grouchier version of herself where her highs were almost normal and likable and the lows were hell to be around. 

she came off of ultraviolet’s tour and essentially jumped right back into the studio (she was beginning to break through in mainstream music, with her last promotional single off ultraviolet hitting mainstream radio and doing fairly well) for album #2. it was finished and ready to go, but by that point, the drug use had gotten to an all-time high and the constant turning a blind eye to it from her team was no longer possible. she ended up od’ing and that was it  — there was an intervention in the hospital room, and it was off to rehab for jolie. album got postponed and she basically fell off the radar.

she didn’t really make a “comeback” until she was knocking on 26′s doorstep, and by that point she’d been in rehab, getting sober, and then laying low for nearly two years. by the time she was releasing her first single for the new album cycle, she’d all but scrapped the record she’d made before rehab and had something else put together entirely. she released wonderland, which did very, very well. she toured for it and it was wildly different than anything she’d done prior — venues were bigger, more fans, just a whole different circus all around. 

probably the one thing she was more proud of than the music was her sobriety, and going on two years of being sober, not much else was important to her. she knew had a pretty black and white view of was good for her and what wasn’t, so after the tour wrapped, she decided to come home. she never pegged herself for the type to get “homesick” because her spirit was very much the wandering type, but she knew she needed to get out of la and nyc. back to chicago it was — which is how we get to the malnati. 

present

she’s in what she’d aptly describe as “professional limbo” — she’s not actively working on any one project, she’s just kind of floating until she can find something to tether herself to, whether it’s a single song or an album or something else that appears on her radar. she’s just taking things easy for the time being.

career wise, think marina, l*na —  more of a cult favorite than a mainstream artist. not going to get mobbed when she goes out and about, able to fly under the radar for the most part. as far as her music goes, i don’t necessarily know if i’ll claim any one artist’s discography and adopt as her own; in my head, jolie’s alt pop. think somewhere along the lines of hayley williams, st. vincent, tove lo, splash of the 1975.

personality wise at this point in her life: will charm the pants off of just about anyone she comes into contact with. flirty. a little goofy, hella sarcastic. there’s method to her madness even if no one else gets it. is still a little guarded when it comes to talking about herself. doesn’t mind talking about what’s happened to her but when it comes to the feelings and emotions as to why those things happened, she shuts down. it’s why she’s a musician: why talk about your feelings when you could just write them into a song and pretend they don’t exist beyond that, lmao. is the passive aggressive type, bottles things up and simmers. 

being in the kitchen and cooking has been a tactile sort of therapy for her, especially in her hiatus years. she loves trying new recipes, baking at random (all) hours, sometimes likes to pretend she’s on an episode of master chef. she’s a dork, your honor.

has a thing for polaroids. she has a blank moleskine notebook that she has put through a total ringer, gluing polaroids and other little mementos onto pages as a journal of sorts.

has a stick and poke tattoo (among other professional ones) on her ribcage that she gave herself when she was sixteen. it’s a tiny smiley face. 

her middle name came from her dad’s middle name (andrew).

if you want someone to go out with you at night (or during the day, she’s not picky) and just aimlessly wander around the city, letting things find you, she’s your girl. she loves a good adventure.

i headcanon jolie as predominantly dirty blonde/brunette lizzie? but she is also the type who has ruined her hair over the years over all the impromptu dying so... welcome to close your eyes and pretend hour.

plot ideas

this is by no means a comprehensive list of plots, just stuff off the top of my head that i’d like to see? again, i promise i don’t bite, so pls hmu if one of these appeals to you or if you just wanna brainstorm, i live for that shit!!

jolie’s a chicago native, went to college here, so 👀

meredith to her cristina — basically her best friend (not gender specific, either) who tells it to jolie like it is, doesn’t mind if she laments about how the world sucks every now and again, the person she’s calling if she needs help with a body

physically and/or emotionally, somebody who checks in on jolie and that she checks in on as well. we love a solid support system

exes — jolie’s a little bit (a lot of bit) of a player?? so i’d love to see exes that maybe didn’t end too hot, ex fwb or ex flings that never made it official, people she ghosted, exes that don’t want to get back together but don’t like seeing each other with anyone else, anything under that sun

jolie also is a Lowkey (read: highkey) commitment-phobe, but i’d rlly love for her to maybe have an ex that she was so In Love with that she was willing to push through it bc she saw herself with them forever..... and then, for reasons tbd, it ended, and it absolutely crushed jolie

someone who, on the occasion of needing to scratch an itch, is very good about getting the job done. it’s casual sex. there are zero romantic feelings involved, there is no getting jealous when the other person finds a relationship, the two are just good friends who have seen (and will probably continue to see) each other naked #yeehaw

maybe someone who was at one of jolie’s gigs when she was still playing bars that she bought a drink and kept in touch with or smth? or someone she met when she was still predominately playing small sets at festivals? idk i’m rambling someone stop me

a “muse”??? like, someone jolie is fascinated with / inspired by and she finds herself writing songs about / for

gimme someone who’s like an acquaintance at best, they’ve maybe got mutual friends and therefore they hang out a bit but they’re always arguing with one another for whatever reason (they both probably annoy each other) but they’ve got mad sexual tension going on? maybe they act on it, maybe they don’t, but either way, they lowkey enjoy the bantering and being at one another’s throats even if they act otherwise

jolie is a night owl, so... gimme someone who she can turn up at their room at some unholy hour (or that turns up at her room at said unholy hour) and watch a movie with or make a mess of the kitchen from fixing a premature breakfast

maybe someone who knew jolie when she was not in a good place?? and things are still v much tense / unresolved between them for whatever reason

and stuff for the event omg PLS *makes grabby hands*

[tragicies]

---------       good  morning ,   𝙾𝙱𝙸-𝚆𝙰𝙽 "𝙱𝙴𝙽" 𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸  !        things  have  been  a  little  off  since  you’ve  woken  up ,  and  you’ve  now  realized  you  used  to  be  from    𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗦    and  all  of  your  memories  have  come  back  to  you .    it’ll  be  hard ,  but  that’s  okay  because  being  a    𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐑    will  always  be  there  for  you .    so  take  a  nice  deep  breath ,  relax ,  and  enjoy  your  new  life .     after  all ,   you’ve  only  got  forever  to  go .

---------      name:�� ben kenobi ,  age:  39 ,   profession:  college professor

𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃   𝙷𝙰𝚂   𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁   𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁'𝚂   𝙻𝙸𝙵𝙴   𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽   𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴   𝙿𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚁   𝚃𝙾   𝚃𝙷𝙴   𝙰𝚆𝙾𝙺𝙴𝙽   𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂  ?

his  mother   &   father  divorced  shortly  after  he  was  born .    his  mother  got  full  custody   &   shortly  remarried ,  bringing  along  his  half  brother  klaus  mikaelson  a  only  a  few  years  later .    though  a  dramatic  one ,  he   &   klaus  get  along  well  enough  with  only  having  regular  sibling  quarrels .    on  the  other  side  of  his  family ,  though ,  things  get  different .   his  father  disappeared  after  the  divorce  for  most  of  ben’s  childhood ,  resurfacing   &   reaching  out  to  ben  again  when  he  was  around  eleven  years  old .    ben  began  to  keep  in  contact  with  his  father ,  reluctantly  giving  him  money  when  he  asked ,  until  ben  was  in  his  early  twenties  when  he  let  news  about  another  son  who  was  born  a  few  years  after  ben  slip .    fed  up  with  lies   &   how  his  father  used  him ,  ben  cut  connection  off  from  him    &   sought  out  to  find  find   &   reconnect  with  the  half  brother  he  now  had  on  his  father’s  side :   peter  quill .    though  it  was  rocky  at  the  start ,  ben  believes  they  worked  things  out  well   &   are  now  fairly  close  as  siblings  who  met  over  twenty  years  late  can  be .

he’s  also  very  close   &   an  uncle  figure  to  the  skywalker  family .    a  family  connection  that ,  unknown  to  him  until  now ,  runs  much  deeper  than  he  expected .    he  says  he  cares  about  them  all  equally  but  it’s  quite  clear  he  has  a  soft  spot  for  luke .

aside  from  the  chaos  that’s  his  family ,  he’s  a  very  level  headed  person  who’s  extremely  careful  not  to  let  his  feelings  flood  him .    though  more  emotional  growing  up ,  as  an  adult  he  pushes  most  of  his  feelings  down  unless  he’s  among  close  friends  such  as  jean  grey  who  see  him  unwind  to  find  his  very  respectable   &   proper  outward  appearance  can  be  quite  the  lie  sometimes .    however ,  this  could  be  because  jean   ( like  many  of  his  friendships  unfortunately )   got  a  little  closer  than  some  expect  at  one  point  so  at  this  point  she’s  seen  too  much  to  not  know  him  that  well .

though  a  well  known  professor  of  classical  studies  at  the  university  for  nearly  ten  years  now ,  he  began  his  teaching  journey  as  a  middle  school  teacher  when  he  was  twenty  six .    many  still  remember  mr.  kenobi  from  sixth  grade .     he’s  very  happy  with  his  job !     &  considers  his  TA ,  finn ,  to  be  excellent  help .

𝙰𝚃   𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃   𝙿𝙾𝙸𝙽𝚃   𝙾𝙵   𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽   𝙰𝚁𝙴   𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁   𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁'𝚂   𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂   𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶   𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼  ?

currently ,  obi-wan  only  clearly  remembers  up  to  just  before  his  fight  with  general  grevious  on  utapau ,  before  order  66   &   before  his  battle  on  mustafar ,  but  he  knows  there’s  more  memories  he’s  missing .    things  are  coming  back ,  piece  by  piece .    not  all  of  it  comes  in  order  but  it  does  come .    once  all  his  memories  are  back  he’ll  remember  past  his  own  death  to  being  a  force  ghost  on  endor  at  the  end  of  rotj .

𝙷𝙾𝚆   𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂   𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁   𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁   𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻   𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃   𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙸𝚁   𝙽𝙴𝚆   𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂  ?

he  feels  an  impending  doom .   he’s  worried .   he  has  his  connection  with  the  force  back  but  the  connection  is  matched  up  to  where  his  memories  will  be ,  not  where  they  are .   things  feel  different   &   he  doesn’t  understand  it .    being  a  jedi ,  however ,  he’s  doing  his  best  not  to  let  any  anxiety  overwhelm  him  about  the  situation .   there’s  nothing  he  can  do  about  it  except  try  to  live  with  the  memories  so  that’s  what  he’ll  do .     still   ...   it’s  not  going  to  be  so  easy  on  him  once  he  remembers  everything  about  anakin .

𝙰𝙽𝚈𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙴  ?

tries  really  hard  to  give  off  weird  uncle  vibes .   just  gives  off  dad  vibes  it’s  his  curse .

don’t  let  his  sweaters   &   soft  accent  distract  you .    he  can  kick  ass !

allergic  to  peanuts .

was  president  of  the  drama  club  actually ?     also  took  a  lot  of  big  roles  in  plays  in  college .   surprisingly  good  at  acting ,  just  doesn’t  talk  about  it .

kind  of  a  slut .

i  feel  bad  for  anyone  who  dates  him .    though  he’s  excellent  at  flirting   &   has  a  wink   &   smile  combination  that’s  lethal  to  most   ...   he  has  the  actual  romantic  skill  of  a  bent  spoon .

[crowdedimagines]

Daddy Dobrik

word count: 1596 an// this would be if David was a single father and then he met you, his nanny. he has a son named Julian (thought it was cute because of David’s middle name) this will also be told in third person which I don’t usually do so this will be interesting

“David, don’t you think you should hire someone you know a little better?” Jason asks, scratching at the scruff growing on his face.

“Jason, that’s how you get a nanny. You don’t know them before you hire them.”

Jason rolls his eyes. He still can’t believe his friend got himself in this situation in the first place. David Dobrik of all people ended up knocking a girl up. The only one-night stand he’s ever had, and this is how it ends.

A knock on the front door manages to pull both men out of what they were thinking of.

“Shit, she’s early.” David laughs before walking over to the front door. He lets her in and the begin the polite awkward chit chat.

“So, Y/n, what makes you want to be a nanny?” Jason asks, he knows that he is going to have to be the one to run things. They all sit on David’s large couch, very professional.

“Well, I already am a nanny. I love children so much, this is what I’ve always been meant to do.” Y/n answers honestly.

“Why are you leaving the family that you’re currently with?” Jason asks, hardly giving the girl a second to breathe, “Why did they fire you?”

Y/n doesn’t notice the look that David gives Jason, as if to say ‘what the hell’.

“Oh, no no no.” She laughs, immediately shutting Jason down. “They’ve outgrown me, I’m afraid. The boy I used to watch has started school now so they don’t really have a need for me. They wrote me an excellent letter of recommendation if you’d like to read it.”

They run through several more questions. David takes over asking them, not liking Jason’s attitude. He thought it would be helpful to have him here because he’s gone through this before, but now he’s more of an embarrassment.

“Well, I would say that went really well.” David smiles, walking Y/n out to the door.

“Yes, I would too.” Y/n smiles looking up into David’s eyes.

“I’ll call you.” David holds open the door, leaning his weight on it.

“I’ll be looking forward to it.”

And just like that Y/n is back in her car and gone again.

“She’s perfect, Jason.” David says, still standing by the door.

“David, you can’t just pick her because she’s a nice piece of ass.” Jason yells from the couch, noticing the younger man staring out the door to watch her go.

“I wouldn’t be picking her for just that.” David rolls his eyes before walking back over to the couch, “You’re gross for still noticing stuff like that. You’re old.”

“She’s the first person you’ve met with. You can’t just pick the first nanny you talk to.” Jason tries to shut down where he knows exactly David’s thought process is going.

“She��s perfect. Why should I have to look at more candidates if I know that I’m going to pick her?” David grabs his phone to distract himself from Jason’s comments.

Jason’s comments end up being worth nothing because David hires Y/n and doesn’t bother with any of the other nannies. She really is perfect, Julian and Y/n immediately connected. Julian loved having Y/n always around to play with.

“Y/n, you are really amazing with him.” David comments, pulling his headphones off of his head, “He doesn’t bond with people easily, it’s only been a few months and you guys are already thicker than thieves.”

“He’s such a cutie, and he knows it too.” Y/n laughs, thinking how Julian shares that trait with his father.

Y/n walks around the house picking up all of Julian’s toys, trying to make things a bit more organized while Julian naps.

“You really don’t have to do that.” David tries to stop Y/n from cleaning.

“It’s part of my job.” She laughs, not listening to him.

“It’s also part of your job to listen to me. Come over here, I want to talk. I really don’t know too much about you.” David gestures to the couch and closes his laptop. Y/n thinks for several seconds, debating, before deciding to join him.

“Tell me about yourself.” David instructs Y/n, waiting to hear more about the girl he sees everyday. He wants to know more about the person he’s grown so attached to without trying. She takes care of his son and that was an easy way for her to take her place in his heart.

Y/n dives into her little life story. How she ended up moving to L.A, becoming a nanny, and other dreams and aspirations along the way. She talks about how much she longs to be an actor, but came to the realization that it is much harder than they make it out to be. David is nearly in a trance listening to her talk for such a long time without a single word of it being baby talk.

“Can I ask you something personal, David?” Y/n asks, getting slightly nervous.

“I just asked you several so go for it.” He laughs.

“How did you get Julian? Or what happened to his mom?” Y/n asks, the nervous edge in her voice doesn’t go unnoticed by David. Y/n starts twisting the rings around her finger, fearing it a too personal question. Still it was a question that had been burning at her since she started the job months ago.

“Oh, well about two or so years ago I had the one and only one night stand I’ve ever had.” David laughs breaking any tension, “I never saw her again until about a year later, Julian was a few months old and she wanted nothing to do with him. She said I could either take full custody or sign the adoption release.”

“Wow, that’s intense.” Y/n interrupts before she can help herself.

“Yeah, I didn’t hesitate to take full custody. This isn’t how I thought I would start my family, but I love it anyway.” He smiles, staring off in space obviously in thought of his child in the next room over.

“That’s an amazing story.” She smiles, placing a comforting hand on his knee, “It was brave of you, especially so young.”

David looks at the hand on his knee, already liking the feeling. Y/n is about to remove it, realizing what she’s done. David catches it before she can and places his warm hand on top of hers. He leans his face a little closer to hers, taking a risk. Y/n doesn’t flinch, David can’t tell for sure, but it seems like she moved closer too.

This back and forth continues until their breath mingles. Warm against the other’s face, welcomed. The anticipation is eating at both of them while the tension builds, making them both out of breath.

“David.” Y/n whispers as a warning, knowing how dangerously close they are to crossing a line.

“Y/n I-”

Before David can finish his thought he’s interrupted by the crying of Julian. Y/n pulls back and gets up to check on him without a word. Neither of them know what to do when she comes back. They are both stuck in their own thoughts.

Does David regret what could have happened? Does Y/n regret what could have happened?

It doesn’t take long for Y/n to soothe Julian and put him back to bed, which means she has to go back out into the living room.

“Hey.” She comments, leaning on the wall looking over at David who is still glued to the same spot on the couch.

“Hey.” He mirrors, “Do you regret what almost happened?”

David seems to be just as shocked as Y/n with what he just blurted.

“No.”

Y/n’s voice is a quiet whisper, David almost misses it.

“Do you?”

David doesn’t hesitate for a second to also respond with a no.

Y/n walks back over to the couch. She sits next to him, but not as close as earlier. She sets her hand on top of David’s that had been sitting on the couch.

“What do we do now?” Y/n asks, finally looking David in the eye.

“I really like you, Y/n. I won’t try and hide it. I would be thrilled if you would let me take you out on a date.” He smiles, already planning it out in his head.

“How are we supposed to date?” Y/n asks, she’s trying to plan it out in her head as well but she isn’t having an easy time, “You’re my boss.”

“Is that all I am to you?” David asks, not even sounding hurt, but more curious.

“No, it’s never been just that.” Y/n shakes her head.

“Good, it’s never been just that for me either.”

He tugs on Y/ns hand to pull her closer to him. She rests her head on his shoulder, not even a sense of unfamiliarity hang in the air even though they’ve never been this close before.

“So, where do we go from here?” Y/n asks while watching David lightly trace his fingers up and down his forearm.

“Now, we date.”

PART TWO IS COMING

[starfxckersinc]

You don't have to answer this if you don't want to but what's up with the Courtney Love controversy? Why are people accusing her of manipulation or whatever? I'm totally new to this discussion

hey darling!! no worries, I love discussing Kurt & Court bc theyre my surrogate parents and they emotionally raised me when I had a difficult relationship w my Mom and Dad, plus I’m named after Kurt and he’s part of the reason I realized my ~gender~, so needless to say I have a surplus of information on them. Plus their music fucks. anyways, this is gonna be a masterpost-

my credentials(sources I have taken my information and formed my opinion on Kurt & Court’s relationship from if u need to look into them):

-Heavier Than Heaven(Book by Charles Cross, authorized by Kurt’s estate. Charles Cross is a well known grunge/music historian and has literally devoted his life to researching and writing rockstar biographies, including several on Nirvana. One of my favorite books ever.)

- Montage Of Heck(Documentary on Kurt’s life. Produced by his daughter, Frances. I have some heavy criticisms of this film and of the interviews in it, but it does have some reflections on Kurt and Courtney’s relationship that I think are important.)

- Hit So Hard(a documentary on Hole’s drummer, Patty Schemel. Minor discussions of Kurt and Kurt and Courtney.)

- Verse Chorus Verse(Fan-made documentary series on Kurt’s life, widely regarded by Nirvana fans the most in depth play-by-play biography that exists- and it’s free on YouTube, which is lit.)

sources I don’t pull from, but many younger Nirvana fans do(the people who buy into the conspiracies generally):

Kurt and Courtney- A documentary made in the late 90’s under the guise of biography, but is actually about the conspiracy theory that Courtney killed Kurt. I saw it when I was a new fan and I literally laughed out loud from how apeshit it was.

Soaked In Bleach- ‘Biopic’ about Courtney killing Kurt. I haven’t seen it but straight men who think Courtney is ugly take it more seriously than the Bible. Very little truth ever goes into these theories, besides maybe names and dates.

Anything Hank Harrison(Courtney’s father) has to say- He wrote a book on the subject. He also gave her acid and lost custody of her when she was three years old. He’s a shit parent and I doubt he’s actually seen his daughter since the 80’s.

Anything Buzz Osborne(Kurt’s friend, singer for the Melvins, a band Kurt looked up to in Montesano) says- I think Buzz’s opinion is taken way too seriously by a lot of the fan base, I read an interview of his criticizing Montage Of Heck because Kurt ‘didn’t really have a stomach disease’ and was just lying about it to get high, and also about how he hated having to see Courtney naked, and made a good long point about how disgusting her body is. IOn top of all that(none of which really has to do with critiquing the film...?), he mocked Kurt and called him a loser for committing suicide. I don’t care what your opinion on his stomach, his wife, or his music is, that shit is callous and idiotic, but totally reflective of the 70’s and 80’s mentality regarding the mentally ill. He’s part of the legion of pretentious punk dudes who *kind of* knew Kurt, who think Courtney’s the one who ‘corrupted’ him, which brings me around to answering your question.

So, there’s this idea regarding Kurt and Courtney’s relationship, which is pretty similar to the one surrounding Sid and Nancy’s(or at least used to.) Courtney is the whiny, annoying, petulant bitch who attached herself to the first trophy she could find, and through her terrible manipulative personality kept him with her and kept him from getting better. In this mode of thinking, She’s also the person who ‘started’ him on drugs, and in a few people’s eyes, the person who ‘forced’ him to have Frances.

The reality of the situation, as I see it, as someone who’s gone to pretty decent lengths to inform themselves on the subject, is that Kurt and Courtney’s relationship was toxic: But the toxicity was mutual. This doesn’t mean they were a “problematic” couple, or that they were abusing each other, or even that either one of them was ‘evil’, it means that they fell deeply in love as young trauma survivors with substance abuse issues and huge ambitions. That’s a lot to put on any relationship and it’s a lot to talk about, so I’m gonna split this into categories of complaints that you’ll hear pretty routinely as a new Nirvana/Hole fan.

1. “She got him into drugs!”

Courtney started on heroin in the late 80’s in L.A., when she was still playing with Sugar Baby Doll(her band with Jennifer Finch and Kat Bjelland). Kurt, as said in Heavier Than Heaven, tried heroin for the first time around 1988-1989(I don’t remember exactly.) At the time, he was still living with(though I don’t believe they were still dating) Tracy Marander. Because he was destitute, he didn’t have enough money to start forming an actual habit until Nevermind started gaining speed, and by the time he and Courtney started dating(they met a couple of times and phoned a couple of times before cementing a relationship) he had been taking it for a while. That’s the thing I think people look over when it comes to Kurt- He was embarrassed about his addiction and he hated the physical side effects, but he loved heroin.

Courtney says in Montage Of Heck that she had both tried and kicked heroin by the time she met Kurt, but I think the Heavier Than Heaven description is probably more accurate: That she did heroin socially, and her addiction worsened after the two of them began living together because Kurt was(in her own words) ‘obsessed with oblivion.’ She also said in Montage Of Heck that his dream was to ‘Get to three million dollars and become a junkie.’ She’s stated several times that her drug problems came out of a need for ‘comfort’, and Kurt was into getting so fucked he couldn’t do anything else(also confirmed by his friend, Dylan Carlson, who was also into heroin and did it with him often.)

On top of that, Courtney was the one who orchestrated interventions for Kurt, went through the process of reviving him when he’d overdosed, and broke his syringes/scared off his dealers to try and keep drugs away from him as much as possible. At one point, she even made a rule that no drugs were to be done in the house- So he started renting motel rooms and doing them there. It was she who was the head of his final intervention before he went missing.

If anything, Courtney is the person who tried her hardest to keep drugs away from both of them. Considering how much people still talk about her doing heroin while pregnant(which occurred very early on before she was aware of her condition), Kurt is the person who struggled the most to stay off drugs during her pregnancy and after Frances’ birth, even going so far as to hide in the bathroom from her while she was struggling with morning sickness so she wouldn’t know he was getting high.

2. “She manipulated him into dating her/marrying her!”

Here’s the thing about Courtney; She is an enigmatic, entertaining, talented, maternal individual. Here’s the thing about Kurt; He’s a shy, quiet, non-confrontational guy with mommy issues. There’s been a lot of discussion on how Courtney was ‘obsessed’ with Kurt, and how she wouldn’t rest until she pinned him down: That’s untrue, or at least it reads less like crazy-bitch-steals-rock-god and more like cute-singer-has-crush-on-fellow-cute-singer. She was really into him, but when she met him she was still dating Billy Corgan, which deterred her from pursuing him until that relationship(basically) dissolved. When Kurt met her, he had just gotten out of a relationship with Tobi Vail, which most likely fell apart because she refused to be what Tracy Marander had been for him. She wasn’t interested in caring for him and she wasn’t interested in a full-time monogamous relationship. She was working too hard at her own career and was way too involved in the burgeoning riot grrrl movement to worry about looking after Kurt Cobain. That just wasn’t going to work for him.

Kurt was a big believer in the nuclear family model, he was very monogamous, and besides that he lacked the ability to physically take care of himself. If he wasn’t living with a partner who would clean up the house and remind him to wash his hair, it just didn’t happen. He was chronically ill, depressed, and he’d spent most of his adolescence AWOL from anyone who would actually raise him, so Tobi’s rejection deeply hurt him for a number of reasons- While Courtney, the opposite of Tobi in a few key ways, was exactly what he wanted. On top of looking like the archetypical punk girl, “I was attracted to her because she looked like Nancy Spungen,” she had a maternal streak (In Montage Of Heck, when he’s found sitting beside her while she cuts his hair, and, typical for people living with Kurt, mentions that she cleans the house because ‘nobody else fuckin does.’) Early on in their relationship, Kurt had a meltdown and begged Courtney to come to his apartment. She did, and looked after him the rest of the night, a pattern which would become common for them, and was stated by her half sister to be the ‘original strain on the relationship.’

Besides her mothering elements, Courtney was brassy and loud, and her presence allowed him to be less introverted and freer with himself. She was an ambitious young musician who shared a similar childhood to him, and had the same yearning for a safe home life that he did. She was well-read and artistic, and introduced him to the literary side of music creation, which he hadn’t explored yet. After spending a night on the phone with her, he went around telling everybody she was ‘the coolest girl in the world,’ and broke off another burgeoning relationship with Mary Lou Lord on live TV after spending the night with her. The famous quote, “Courtney Love is the best fuck in the world.” is in fact real. And yeah, he could’ve handled that one better.

The attraction was mutual, and I find it hard to believe that Kurt was ever forced into anything romantic with her based on how well she suited his tastes.

3. “She used him for his fame/money!”

As stated above, Courtney was attracted to Kurt before Nevermind was even recorded, and if she wanted to marry a famous dude right out the gate, at the time they met there were plenty of people who were way more famous than Kurt. In Heavier Than Heaven she mentions really liking their song “Dive,” and later in life she mentioned hearing “Sliver” and being impressed with Kurt’s writing abilities. Both of those songs were released a solid two years before Nevermind. She was interested in Kurt because he was cute and talented and she was savvy in the music scene, meaning that she kept up with underground bands.

Now, a point of contention between Kurt & Courtney was their different attitudes towards fame. That is entirely true. Courtney wanted to be famous, enjoyed celebrity, loved attention, and could handle touring, press, and the craziness of success. She was very charismatic, very physically strong, and let’s face it, definitely an attention whore. Kurt liked being praised, he liked being successful, and he definitely had a thing for attention- But he hated pressure, he had inferiority issues, he didn’t know how to handle his life being pried into all the time, and he wasn’t strong enough to do massive tours. Courtney just didn’t understand that, which is pretty common if someone doesn’t share your same mental illness/physical illness: Touring hurt Kurt’s stomach, it worsened his anxiety and emotional instability, it wore his body out, it didn’t agree with him. He loved playing live but couldn’t handle the mania or the travelling, meaning he didn’t mind blowing off huge tours that would bring in loads of money. Courtney, who did feel envious and intimidated regarding his success, would get angry at him for that- She didn’t want him to blow off massive paychecks and press coverage because it’s not what she would’ve done. I definitely side with Kurt on this, nothing is more frightening and frustrating than people trying to force you to do things you can’t handle health-wise. Courtney, being naturally business-oriented, was also aware of how things appeared to the public, and definitely cared about their image more than Kurt did- One of their fights revolved around her nagging him about how important the “Heart-Shaped Box” music video would be for him, and how he should look good. He reacted by stubbing out a cigarette on his forehead and saying, “Do I look fucking good enough for you now?”

So yeah, Courtney, like a lot of people in Kurt’s life, was all about furthering his career and success. A lot of people read that as her being money-hungry or manipulative, in my opinion it’s just a natural response from a person who’s spent their whole life trying to be a success and wouldn’t really get there until 1994. I think some of it was envy and I think some of it was her using him a little vicariously, neither of which are healthy but neither of which are malicious, either. She wanted to be a rockstar, she was ready to be a rockstar, she wasn’t; He thought he’d wanted to be a rockstar, he didn’t really want to, he was.

4. “She emotionally abused him!”

I hate to say this because I love Kurt so much but, as someone who’s been through a codependent relationship where they were bailing water out of a sinking boat, Kurt’s behavior throughout their marriage set off way more red flags for me than Courtney’s did. I don’t think he was actually abusive, but I do think he was a little too underdeveloped and unresolved to be married to someone. He had to grow up slower than everyone else because he missed out on having concrete mature influences, which Courtney did as well, and like I said earlier I think a lot of their problems came through a lack of adult communication skills. Both of them were really jealous people: Courtney couldn’t stand Kurt talking about Mary Lou Lord or Tobi Vail, Kurt was completely convinced that Courtney was cheating on him with Billy Corgan(even going so far as to talk to their lawyer about a divorce shortly before he died.) This was the catalyst for a lot of mind games and unnecessary drama, especially coming from Kurt.

Kurt couldn’t handle conflict. He was really passive aggressive, and would do things to purposely piss Courtney off or communicate to her that he was displeased. While she was trying to stay clean he would declare that he was going to do drugs in the apartment, when she started talking to a psychic to help her with her problems he mocked her and put her down, when she staged his final intervention his entire argument against rehab was that she was just as ‘fucked up’ as he was(she had already agreed to go into rehab, though whether he was aware of this or not I’m not sure.) He made his first suicide attempt by overdosing on Rohypnol on their wedding anniversary because she took some pills and fell asleep and he decided that meant she wasn’t interested in him anymore. I’m not arguing that that’s an irrational response to your partner getting stoned and falling asleep, especially when he’d apparently set the night up to be as romantic as possible, but the overdose put him in a coma and sent Courtney into hysterics.

Her mental health began to decline due to paranoia that he’d end up dead, and her weight dropped due to the added stress. As someone who’s been through a pretty similar situation to that and exhibited the same symptoms, I can tell you that it is never okay to use a suicide attempt to deal with a perceived injustice from your partner. By this time, Kurt was facing either getting clean or dying, and his behavior was very depressed and erratic, so there are explanations for the way he was acting and I don’t think he was trying to manipulate her with a threat. Despite my understanding of that, there is nothing more exhausting than being the caretaker of someone who is hellbent on never getting better. I can’t imagine being the caretaker of someone who won’t stop until they’re dead, and I do think at that point it would’ve been better for them to separate.

But that isn’t to say Courtney wasn’t toxic herself, I’m not trying to paint a wholly negative image of Kurt here. I’m merely trying to stand in the way of Nirvana fanboys who have no grasp on the more sickly sides of his personality, and give Court a bit of a break. Definitely, she struggled with her jealousy: As stated, she never wanted his ex girlfriends mentioned around her and would tear them apart if they were. She was ambitious and career driven, which eroded a lot of her platonic relationships/working relationships as well her marriage to Kurt. She was one of the people who was pushing him to recover in time to play Lollapalooza, and she was one of the people who pushed him into his last stunted tour before his death. She weaponized his relationship with Frances in ways that I and most people agree are gross: She told him he should be playing massive gigs to support his daughter(though their medical and legal bills were big they were hardly poverty stricken), and admitted in an interview later that she called him in rehab once to tell him he’d dropped Frances on her head(She mentioned during this that Frances was wearing a furry hood, and that he didn’t hurt her. In my opinion he was doing his best by even trying rehab again, and that he was already so worried that he was a terrible father that it was just cruel to make him feel worse.)

She has a tendency to be self-obsessed, and to put her own self interest before people she cares about, even if she regrets it later. She struggles herself with mental illness and addiction, both of which tend to give a person poor judgment regarding the people they care about.

Once again, Courtney and Kurt weren’t a healthy couple, but it wasn’t because they were evil or abusive towards one another. They cared for each other deeply, they had a very pure devotion. Underlying all this nastiness were two people who prayed together, wrote together, fantasized about a Valentine’s Day wedding, and faxed each other R-rated love letters like modern versions of James Joyce and Nora Barnacle. During one of his more successful stints in rehab, Kurt wrote Courtney love letters every night(though he did decorate them with blood, wax, and semen.)

They had some serious therapy they needed to attend, the both of them. But 90% of these demonizations of Courtney are either untrue or blown out of proportion.