#is that even the same pattern anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

somecunttookmyurl · 9 months

Text

my fellow knitters. you will understand my pain. please, light candles in my honour and pray to whatever gods will have you

i have to knit 1.5 full sweater sleeves in the next 36 hours

#in the round thank god #but bottom up with a flat sleeve cap #because the sweater pattern was originally flat and has set-in sleeves not drop sleeves #i just converted it because it's k6 p2 rib and doing the corresponding p6 k2 rows working flat just slows me down #and redid all the maths to account for my gauge #and a different neckline #so at this point we have a ship of theseus situation #is that even the same pattern anymore

82 notes · View notes

milkweedman · 5 months

Text

Knitting a freehand bag and started wondering how often people even use patterns, anyway. So--how often do you use a pattern when you make things ? This include knitting/crochet/sewing/weaving/nalbinding/bobbin lace/tatting/etc but also things like woodworking, cooking, and baking. If you want to just pick the thing you do most often that's fine.

I personally do not use patterns as I find them far more confusing than just figuring out the construction of an item and simply making it. I do very occasionally browse ravelry for inspiration but have downloaded maybe 2. In the 5 or so years since I joined. And have followed exactly 1, which I modified every single aspect of. In my defense, dyslexia.

#poll #knitting #crochet #weaving #tatting #sewing #quilting #nalbinding #bobbin lace #cooking #baking #theres just SO MANY patterns out there and i kind of dont understand why... who is using them ???#they are so hard to follow even when written well #i get that thats dyslexia talking and not true for most people but it still baffles me #i also dont follow cooking/baking recipes but in a different way #the issue for crafting patterns is that i cant read and so i cant figure out what the hell im supposed to do #but recipes are usually lists and dont have tons of abbreviations and dozens of steps #so i can kind of read recipes but i just like doing my own thing and also have been burned by recipes before #so even if i try following the recipe as hard as possible i will inevitably change some things #like what about the whimsy. also i will use a butter wash after taking this out of the oven i dont care that it says eggs #and while i dont do legos anymore i was the same with that too. we got a kit once and my sister loved following each step #oh my god. the worst. i would covertly make other things with the remaining pieces while she assembled the thing #i do think that were i not dyslexic i would still not follow patterns #like i said i just prefer to do my own thing most of the time

194 notes · View notes

faaun · 3 months

Text

i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her #and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that #bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control #AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern #which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have #become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and #then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see #the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then #immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now #hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him #she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women #bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely #fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are #capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the #like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond #or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to #feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe #months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time #its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like #there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she #wouldnt show up and ive been right each time #like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at #them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all #anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it #and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy #and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way #its just AUSHD AUGH #anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore

14 notes · View notes

myrmica · 10 months

Text

my reading of lifesteal season 4 is so personal and involved at this point that even if i was going to post more character analysis i would not know where to start. it would require footnotes to documents that don't exist. listen to luddites and lambs by everything everything and you'll get half of it though

#m #lifesteal #there is just such a compelling and clear thematic line between like. okay #first you need to just accept for me the idea that zam as a character is defined by being trapped running both towards and away from #the same object (mapicc)#and then you have to take mapicc as interchangeable with pain in general but specifically an inescapable normalcy of pain #which is caught up in something zam wants and knows he wants which is the “pure/natural” idyllic version of lifesteal #where every fight is fair competition #and what mapicc has done to hurt him more than the actual stalking and murder and all of that is that mapicc refused to fight him on even #ground (by literally invading and destroying his home so that everything becomes battlefield) in a way that offends his most deeply #held values. AND THEN he reads vitalasy's use of the exploits as trying to take that same thing he fundamentally values about lifesteal #away and he gets incredibly angry with vitalasy for hurting the server itself (pvp becomes functionally obsolete for a while there)#so he plays out the eclipse betrayal framing it in his own mind as another situation where he is the victim and vitalasy is the #manipulator/aggressor and falls back into the kind of jumpy paranoid behavior we as the viewer haven't actually seen from him in a very #long time now (late into eclipse when mapicc isn't an active threat anymore he really does stop jumping at shadows the way he used to)#and seems comforted by the familiarity of it if anything. because what vitalasy was asking of him that made him panic and reject it so #badly was to create a new pattern and step out onto unknown ground but he can't do it #and he retreats back to what he knows. so vitalasy isn't WRONG to read what zam does as victimizing himself #and forcing vitalasy into a villain role that is literally what he is doing #but vitalasy on the other end still has his own entire set of things he is not dealing with #and so the relationship created by these two people is doomed by their inability to look themselves in the eye more than any of the actual #facts of the relationship itself #and the thing zam wants lifesteal to be is not and has never been real. the thing vitalasy wants lifesteal to be is also antithetical to #its nature they are both wrong #but zam is wrong in that he wants to return to an idealized imagined past that does not actually exist #(see also vague historical allusions in his castle and his name and him trying after vi's death to cast off violence completely and return #to the land somehow. and the association created incidentally between stone tools and rudimentary technology)#and vitalasy is wrong in that he's trying to create something entirely new that nobody but him actually wants via the exploit #(see the way that once the exploit is 'out of the box' it can't be put back in and the course of the season is set in motion and any attemp #s to fight it and change that course are futile as allegorical to sudden technological advancement being met with violent opposition)

20 notes · View notes

shopwitchvamp · 4 months

Text

logged in to reddit for the first time in a long time today, and what was the only thing i found waiting for me there? a comment left 8 months ago on a 12 year old r/crochet post of mine, with someone asking "since you don't sell plushies anymore, can you release the pattern??" I will never be free. Also the answer is no. It's always no. No pattern. That life is behind me and I will not go back.

#suffering and anguish #my crochet past will haunt me forever #the same thing happens when i log in to instagram lol #like even on my witch vamp page i get messages every so often going #hey i know you aren't active on your crochet account anymore #so i thought i'd ask here. can i have the pattern for xyz plushie???#no. no you can not. and i don't care if this seems mean #the patterns don't even exist anymore #and i'm not about to figure them out again over a decade later #i don't even own crocheting supplies anymore #text post #witch vamp #ramblings

12 notes · View notes

iftitah · 10 months

Text

everyone prioritizes their family and that means even extended chacha ke chacha fufa ke tau etc and i can't even prioritize my sagi one i hate myself

#and its not that they're bad or anything #but im such a people pleaser i feel validation from strangers is more important than family #its because maybe ive watched them too closely and nothing about them fascinates me anymore i know the pattern #and my fun is meeting new people cracking the code #but still #i hate that people will cut your calls leave your message unread kyunki aaj poora din bua mausi aaye the #wish i was that focused on my relatives #ill literally text call anyone even in a middle of a fucking apocalypse #idk yall should tell me if im doing something wrong do yall keep your phones away and forget to text your friends #but i can't focus one thing for too long i cannot physically see messages decking up and not reply #i hate this #do people simply not check. there phone as often or am i an addict #or have i still not learnt to be in the moment #and tomorrow night i leave for home and my friends have planned a meet up #now frn 1 comes to home for one month in her holidays so giving one day or even two days to friends doesn't matter #frn 2 lives in hometown so there's no problem but mind you if she comes she has to leave in 2 minutes because her mom calls every five #minutes just to get her back to home for nothing #frn 3 comes home same as me aka 4-5 days so giving 1 day to friends is parents saying tumhe hamse matlab nahi hai tyohaar mei bhi har baar #milne jaana hota hai #etc #but im home past 4 days ivd literally done nothing papa bhai se utni hi baat hui jitni phone par ho jaati hai #haan for mummy i spent time with her #but most of the time i was on tumblr or scrolling insta to kya hi matlab hua mere ghar aane ka #that means unhe bas meri physical presence chahiye #na ghar par bua aayi na mama na koi #lekin ab kal mujhe jaana hai to kal mama aa jaayenge #why are things this way

22 notes · View notes

icewindandboringhorror · 6 months

Text

misc photo diary stuff.. also this unintentionally all matches sort of lol.. warm toned photos?

#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1 & 2. A very pale dusty warm sort of sky. Love the tone of it. All shades of gray skies are amazing.#3. Some flowers outside of a building I walked by. I like the chunky petals and interesting muted color #4. bapy son enjoying the sunlight #5. Picture of a moon and I think two stars or maybe planets or something near it? :0 #6. little lines drawn onto the carpet with sunlight from the window blinds #7. The moon illuminating the clouds to an unuusally bright degree. Very inchresting.. It isn't even captured well in photos but in real lif #it kind of looked like everything in the sky was glowing #8. They had heart shaped strawberry biscuits at popeyes this February (I think for valentines day month?)#9. All of the various rocks I've picked up on the ground outside over the past few months. Now that I have a rock tumbler I'm always on the #lookout for interesting ones. Though I'm not sure what all of them are or how well they'd actually polish. I know there are rules about tha #and stuff lol. I do think it's neat how when they're all next to each other there's so many different patterns #and colors and stuff even though they were all taken from basically the same small span of just sidewalks and places along the city #I never travel to different states or anything or even go hours away within my own state.#photo diary

8 notes · View notes

heyitslapis · 9 months

Text

I don't have time for people who don't have time for me

#yes yes i know adult life leaves little room for spending time with people who you care about & even if we have time we're burnt out #but my whole adult life has been white-knuckled clinging to relationships or people that barely if ever send that energy back #as soon as theyre onto the next person that will entertain them. as soon as theyve found something to fill the time that i usually take up #as soon as theyve gotten all they wanted from me emotionally. as soon as its inconvient to see me. almost as soon as theyre bored #then suddenly its me waiting for a text. waiting for a day to hang out. hearing over and over again that yet another thing is more importan #than me. and i get it. life happens. schools important. work is important. rest is important. but at the point im at in my life #im looking for people who actually make an effort not just give months and months of excuses as to why they suddenly cant hang out #im a pushover. im easy-going. im a very understanding person. i get it bc theres also very few days per week that im free to socialize #but i cant keep letting myself act subservient to everyone else in my life. i always put my friends & potential friends so high on pedestal #i treat them & their time as precious. now i refuse to let someone do anything but the same for me. my time/energy/love is just as precious #i dont deserve only a text when you need something from me or just to act as a treat to tide me over until the next transgression #and i certainly am NOT going to be the person that you can stand-up and then expect to still answer your text. not anymore.#in prioritizing my mental health lately ive realized that this pattern HAS TO STOP. i cant allow myself to continue the same harmful cycles #i deserve better. i need better. i WANT BETTER #emma vents #vent tag #healing tag

3 notes · View notes

irul · 9 months

Text

learnin sm from this breakup, wasn’t as much of a doormat like in the previous relationships but did end up becoming one.

#kill these patterns that dont serve me n choose myself over n over even if it’s hard.#ppls tone do matter to me in communication but we are human and do stupid hurtful human things but the lack of remorse n willingness to #make amends is what seals it.#the extent to which i have been understanding only to not have the same be extended to me nor my feelings as a human person be respected or #regarded or considered is just. astounding.#only ever been a concept n figure of stability n security. not anymore.#p

4 notes · View notes

nexttothelamp · 1 year

Text

...

#no brain tumor #no cancer #not sure about lyme yet but i doubt it #its just an escalation of the sleep stuff #at the 1.5 year mark and its gotten to THIS #i cant do it anymore. but i have to. so i will. and thats really all there is to it #....i cant color anymore.#i used to be especially good with color blends #patterns and such #the thing i made last night... was like something i wouldve made in grade school #its been so long since i tried but i didnt think id lose the ability to... color. of all things #now im too afraid to pick up one of my instruments again. even if id only have the energy for one song...#what if i cant play anymore?#hell i already had to quit playing minecraft because id just. get lost running in circles around the map. not remembering what i was doing #same thing happened with tears of the kingdom after the hyperfixation wore off #back to not being able to tell dreams from reality and that is really fucking bad when all your dreams are nightmares #for a bit i was able to whittle charms to hang over the bed. but if im not safe to drive i definityl shouldnt be handling a knife #not even to sharpen the colored pencils i cant use...#at least in this hellsite i can talk to myself as much as you #next up is the neurology department. and some harassing of other sleep labs #wish me luck #id say delete later but i wont

3 notes · View notes

forest-from-the-trees · 1 year

Text

why are gifts so fucking difficult oh my godd. starting to look for anniversary gifts for my partner cause weve got about two months to go, and i swear to god anytime theres a holiday where we have to give gifts i panic.

its so difficult cause in theory i know what she likes but i dont feel like we spend enough time around each other to know what style of things she likes yknow? ill send her stuff occasionally that i like and i feel like she has a really good grasp on the things i enjoy cause i have such a distinct style. for her though like i know for a fact that she doesnt dress in the way she wants to, but if she was given the chance i dont know what she would choose to wear. like what she wears now is different than what she would wear if she had the choice to redo and choose her own wardrobe (her words). so like. i always freak out when buying jewelry and stuff like that cause i dont know if its a thing that she would like or not based on how weird that situation is right now.

#for valentines she got me a little gold necklace with two small pendants that have our initials stamped on them :((( its so fucking cute l #and i wanna do something like that for her!! but not the same thing yknow?#one of my ideas was a little gold locket with us inside or maybe the eye portrait situation cause that would be cool #but do i think thats cool for me or do i think its cool for her? i have no idea #my other idea was getting a replacement ring of the rings we got a few years ago #they were small bands thay had the other persons birth flower on them (got those before we even started dating lmaoooo)#and hers doesnt fit anymore #or another idea was that i found this little crochet pattern for a small crochet cat with a knitted sweater #and i was thinkin i could make crochet cat versions of her and i with little sweaters to match!! so that would be really cute i think #or like. if i started now i could crochet a blanket cause she really loves cozy things but like #our anniversary is in june and also shes really picky with textures so i might not do that even though i wanna #do you see my problem here #its a clusterfuck honestly #thats why im starting the search so early #my last idea was to make her a custom crosstitch pattern of her favorite ancient art (its a goat tattoo)#to put it simply she really loves history and i think she would enjoy that #anyway. i am freaking the fuck out ❤️

4 notes · View notes

technoxenoholic · 2 years

Text

so many "sew your own xyz" guides are like "start with an xyz you already own that fits you well"

and every time i'm just sitting here like, i do not have any. that is the whole entire reason why i am making my own. how is this so hard for practically everyone i see writing in sewing spaces to grasp, that not everyone can fit into ready-made clothing?

#stfu blue #sewing #it's not that i actually need a tutorial for anything. i'm actually a very skilled sewist you know. i take to things pretty intuitively #but sometimes i like to look at how other people are doing things in case there's an even easier strategy for something i can incorporate #unfortunately 'use one that already fits you' is not an 'easier strategy' for me #because everything that 'already fits' is only achieving that by the barest margin of 'i guess it's close enough'#'it doesn't fall off and it's long enough so it'll have to do'#but NO MORE. the things i make for myself WILL fit. and then i can repeatedly reuse the exact same pattern over and over to make more #anyway i deserve a wonderful wardrobe full of beautiful things that fit and so that is what i am going to make!#rip to people who settle for 'good enough' but i'm tired of it so that's not me anymore bye

11 notes · View notes

thornshadowwolf · 2 years

Text

greatest battle of all time trait I don't actually like vs gender euphoria GO!!!

#I have ONE!!! beard hair.#the moustache is fine idm that #WHY do we not have tweezers in this house I wanna rip it out #and I mean rip it out not shave so don't even suggest that #also now that I'm making this post I'm gonna bring up some other things that've been getting on my NERVES #ok like I don't mind a happy trail that's cool as hell but because of shot locations it's coming in in a stupid pattern cuz it #acts faster in the localized area of the shot. also I have a single black gair on my belly and it's ANNOYING AS HELL!!!!#losing the higher vocal range also annoying but the range isn't shrinking ofc just shifting so at least I get it #voice cracks annoying as all hell I can't sing anymore cuz there is a range of abt 4 notes that goes to the same completely different note #that'll go away tho (it already is starting to tbh) so whatever #uhhhh because of what I mentioned above. anyone know in theory anything about doing shots in your chest??#cuz like. that's mostly fat right.#not that I'm on T rn so not gonna do that but I'm just curious now.#like besides potentially it being more sensitive skin is there any issue with it?#ok n e ways byeeee #ThornShadow.said #personal

2 notes · View notes

kazz-brekker · 3 months

Text

it makes me so fucking mad that neil gaiman wrote a whole comic story condemning a famous author who publicly portrayed himself as a good and forward-thinking guy in public that abused women in private while he was doing that exact same thing himself. how the fuck can you be that aware of how shitty and awful that behavior is and be perpetuating it at the same time!!!!

#i've had authors whose work i enjoyed turn out to be shitty people in the past #but this one is hitting me really hard #probably because i have bad family stuff happening at the same time #and now it's like oh look not even your favorite books/comics/shows are a place of comfort anymore!!#i'm just. really fucking mad and upset about this. especially because it's apparently a pattern of behavior #that's been going on NEARLY AS LONG AS I'VE BEEN ALIVE???#jesus fucking christ

1 note · View note

icewindandboringhorror · 6 months

Text