#is the funniest shit you've ever heard

[imakeficrequestsandthendisappear]

if cis people are so great then why don’t they have a siberian orchestra 

[p4nishers]

can we actually take a moment and remember swan upon leda? can we actually shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and think about our lord and savior swan upon leda because i'm tired of doing it alone every single day guys

[andthebeanstalk]

Gods I'm so glad I have the power to draw stupid ridiculous things. I've had two ideas in the last week for art pieces that made me cackle like a little gremlin for 30 minutes. And already, my decision to follow through on these ideas has been a great success!

It is very important to feed the silliness gremlin!!! Ze offers gifts of happiness and naturally occurring self-improvement! Should ze wither from lack of food, so shall artistic motivation and the joy I find in my craft!

So you see, it is absolutely vital that the gremlin be allowed to thrive and grow on a steady supply of shitposts and profoundly ridiculous pornography.

This will, in turn, help with my depression - making this fake isekai cover as well as this very dumb video game porn I just made into Medical Necessities, Actually. 😌😤🤡

[unpretty]

i like to wander into the recommended posts because there's cool art in there sometimes and the algorithm is so rudimentary it's more funny than anything. you reblog a pokemon and it's full of pokemon, you like some porn and suddenly it's full of kink, you reblog someone's oc and now it's showing you everyone's ocs, you accidentally like a terf post and suddenly it's nothing but the most bigoted shit you've ever seen in your life. but the funniest is when you interact with a post you didn't even realize was fandom-related, and now it's nothing but the most absolutely unhinged ten-note takes about characters you've never heard of and every post is from someone who hates every other person in that fandom tag. it's like i picked up a cool rock and tumblr was like, "oh we've got plenty more where that came from" and walked me to the mouth of a volcano.

[beom-pyu]

i can't swim, idiot ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ choi beomgyu

choi beomgyu x fem!reader , tags: best friends to lovers au , beomgyu is annoying(ly cute) , fake dating? nah... fake married? bingo! , reader is so fed up with beomgyu how is he still alive , fluff , black cat x golden retriever dynamic ??? , hinted bisexual!beomgyu happy pride month , hinted pining , nsfw , some cliche moments bc who doesn't love a good cliche

warnings: reader uses she/her pronouns and is referred to as a wife and "mrs" , cursing , playfully (?) threatening each other's lives , soft dom!beomgyu , sub!reader , pool sex , unprotected sex , marking , praise , creampie , cum eating , morning sex <3 , cunninglus (fem receiving) , overstimulation , dry humping , big dick gyu community please gather

a/n: another summer fic for you lovelies!! <3 i hope you guys enjoy this as much as i had fun writing it! (not edited yet!)

song recs: island - youha, spotless mind - jhene aiko, nature feels - frank ocean

wc: 10.7k+

[I THINK WE JUST GOT SCAMMED.]

“wait, wait, wait. you did what?” 

you slowly lower your lukewarm cup onto the cafe table before taking out your airpods—no music is playing, but you want to be 100% sure you heard him right. your best friend shoots you a lopsided grin from across the table, stirring his drink with the chewed straw in between his fingers.  

“i entered us into an exclusive giveaway for married couples to win a trip to greece for a week?”

one by one, you can feel your brain cells begin to die off at his words, your eye twitching while beomgyu smiles innocently at you. 

“beomgyu, i’m going to ask you a simple question and i want a simple answer.” pinching the bridge of your nose, you inhale for a second before meeting his eyes with the most exasperated gaze you've ever worn in your life. “why?”

the brown-haired boy is all too quick with a reply.

“why not?” beomgyu shrugs, his tiny grin morphing into something menacing on his lips—as if this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to him in all of his 22 years of life. 

you have the sudden passing thought to throw your coffee at his face, but that’s a precious $6 you’d never get back, so you refrain from doing so. instead, you take a slow, deep breath and momentarily close your eyes.  “god, if you’re out there, please, please give me patience.”

“i’m pretty sure the phrase is ‘god give me strength’,” beomgyu retorts from his seat across from you, sipping annoyingly on his nearly empty caramel frappe.

you blink at him once, twice. “if god gave me strength, you’d be in a casket right now.”

beomgyu simply cackles at your response, feigning a scared face with his hands up like he’s being held at gunpoint before he continues to laugh at his own mockery. you kick him under the table, successfully wiping that wide smile off of his dumb face.

“what was that for?” beomgyu whines with a pout, reaching down to rub his shin. a few heads turn to see what the ruckus is about and you shoot them a polite, apologetic smile and bow before turning back to mr. drama queen. the kick wasn’t even that hard.

“did you even think about what would happen if we actually won? we don’t have the time nor the money for a resort in greece.”

“oh, calm down, y/n. you know no one ever actually wins those things, right? they’re all scams.” beomgyu waves you off with his hand before bringing the green straw back up to his lips, your ears bleeding at the sound of his obnoxious slurping. you can’t stand his face.

“and how are you so sure of that?”

“because i entered that nickelodeon giveaway thing when i was 11 and never heard back from them.”

you blink at him again, thrice this time—just in case you’ve been transported into a different dimension and a stupidity demon has possessed your best friend’s body. nonetheless, beomgyu is still grinning idiotically as he chews on his straw, tilting his head at you like a maltese.

“please be so serious right now.” 

“i am! plus, even if we do win—which we won’t—and it’s not a scam… shit, that’s a free trip to greece!”

the joy on his face boils your blood to no end. he’s truly dense; you can’t believe you’re insane enough to call him your other half. everything on earth must be balanced out, you suppose—the yin to your yang.

“have you considered the fact that we aren’t married?” you cock your head at him, hands folded on top of the table, speaking slowly as if you’re talking to a child… hold on, wait—you literally are.

“shoot—could’ve fooled me!” beomgyu lets out a puff of laughter. “we might as well be.”

you blink at him again.

“please don’t ever say that again. i think i just threw up in my mouth.”

beomgyu rolls his eyes before snatching his phone out of his pocket with the speed of light to show you the flier he had screenshotted. he shoves the phone in your face, tapping incessantly at the bottom text of the photo.

“look. it says all expenses paid.” 

you stare at him with a silent ‘so what?’ and beomgyu sighs dramatically as he lowers his phone. he has the nerve to be exasperated with you? you’ll never understand where men get the pure audacity.

“so you’re going to look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t pretend to be my wife for a few days so we can get a free trip to greece?”

you look him straight in the eye. “beomgyu, i’d rather be burned on a stake.” 

“yea, 'cause you’re a fucking witch,” he mumbles under his breath, trying to hold in his laughter. you don’t know how much more patience you have with him, so you simply exhale, checking the clock on your phone.

“i don’t have time for this—i gotta get to my lecture,” you huff out, standing as you grab your bag that sits by your feet. beomgyu pitifully whines, looking up at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes known to man.

“would you seriously not do it?” 

it’s now your turn to laugh, picking up your coffee to take a big sip. you’re gonna need the caffeine. 

“those things are scams, gyu—you said it yourself! see you later.”

☆

nights are oh, so serene, you think, as your head hits your fluffy pillow later that night. you’re freshly showered and tucked under your covers, snug as a bug in a rug as you doze off to the lovely scent of your hibiscus air freshener and the quiet waves of your sleep sounds machine. there’s no need to count sheep—you’re completely drained from all of the walking you had to do today. all of your classes just so happen to be on opposite sides of the campus, and you’re sure your step counter is on the verge of exploding by now.

your mattress feels even comfier today, a slight breeze coming through your cracked window, balancing out the heat from your thick duvet. it takes no time at all for you to be tugged under by the lust of sleep, drifting off to a perfect dreamland full of bright colors and open fields and your blaring ringtone.

wait.

your ringtone?

you don’t even bother to open your eyes, patting around your bed for your phone before you feel the cool screen against your fingertips. it takes a few failed swipes to actually answer, mumbling out a half-asleep “hello?” as you lazily press the device to your ear.

“hi, my wonderful bff. my world, my girl, my bro, my home-shizzle! hypothetically, on a scale of one to ten, how mad would you be if i told you that the greece trip thing wasn’t a scam? and that we won? and that we leave in 2 days? hypothetically.” 

the silence is incredibly loud.

…

“eleven.”

[NEWLYWEDS.]

three months ago, if you were to tell yourself that you would be adorning a fake amazon wedding ring with your best friend’s arm wrapped around your waist as you stand inside some modern insurance firm being interviewed as a newlywed couple—well, you probably would’ve admitted yourself into the nearest asylum.

you don’t know what choices from your past led you to this moment, forcing a smile as a middle-aged woman with the cleanest-cut bob you’ve ever seen enthusiastically shakes your hand before moving on to beomgyu’s. he seems completely unfazed and the thought alone irks your soul to no end.

truthfully, this is all your fault. if you would’ve just told beomgyu that you are not going to pretend to be his wife for a week, you would’ve never ended up in this situation in the first place. but can anyone blame you when he offered to pay for your coffee every single day for the next 6 months, and wash your car, and take out your trash for as long as you ask him to? 

right! any sane person would’ve said yes, too!

so here you are as mrs. choi (gag), laughing along as the lady cracks a few jokes, complimenting beomgyu’s silky hair and your bright smile before sighing dreamily.

“my goodness, aren’t you two just the cutest newlyweds i’ve ever seen! how many months has it been?”

beomgyu looks down at you with a soft smile; anyone who is meeting him for the first time would’ve taken the gaze as something filled with pure adoration and undiluted love… but you know him. you see the way his eyes sparkle with mischief, the annoying quirk of his playful grin, and the pure amusement that washes over his features at your subtle glare. 

he’s having way too much fun with this. 

you pinch his side hard, a small bout of victory washing over you as he flinches.

deserved.

“we’re coming up on three months now?” beomgyu speaks through slightly gritted teeth before looking back up at the short woman, sending a charming smile her way. she squeals, bouncing on her heels and you bite back a grimace at the sheer volume.

“we decided to travel a bit before settling down and buying a home here in seoul,” you speak robotically, following the exact script you both came up with in your notes app on facetime last night. beomgyu hums in affirmation, tapping your side in a silent “good job”.

“awe! how sweet is that? what a wonderful idea to travel together while you're still young and nimble, unlike this old lady right here.” the lady honks out a laugh as she points to herself with her thumbs. you glance over at beomgyu who seems to be having the time of his life and—the regret of saying yes quickly settles deep in your bones. “you pair are such a lovely and beautiful couple!”

her high-pitched and overly enthusiastic voice pierces your ears and you can already feel the headache coming on.

“well, what can i say? it was love at first sight. i knew i had to make her mine and see the world with her as soon as possible,” beomgyu smoothly recites, gazing back down at you with the same look as before. you feel the bile rise in your throat. the words are so foreign to your ears, it’s almost jarring. the lady doesn’t even notice your discomfort and continues on and on about how cute you both are, how you remind her of her niece, and how beomgyu should totally be a model.

you force the fakest smile ever as beomgyu pinches your side, a cue for you to speak up. resisting the urge to punch him for pinching you (even though you had done it first), you simply nod along with an artificial laugh, your hand coming up to rest on his chest in faux infatuation.

ew. 

“marrying beomgyu was the best decision i’ve ever made. i’ve never been happier.” 

you swear you feel your eye twitch as the lady coos—she claps her hands excitedly, her short bob bouncing with the movement.

“how heartwarming! i’m sure this trip will bring you even closer, shedding a new light on the glitter of your love for decades to come!”

you and beomgyu are silent for a beat—because what the fuck is she even saying?—before awkwardly laughing, nodding along in hopes that she’ll wrap this up quickly. the lady’s smile doesn’t falter for a second as a stiffness fills the air, clapping her hands again as he ushers you two towards the lyft.

“better get a move on so you don’t miss your flight! i hope you have a wonderful time, lovebirds! and congratulations once again!”

the car is absolutely silent as you both settle in after all of your luggage is loaded up. beomgyu has this annoying, close-lipped smile on his face, his lips pursed like a duck—he’s so obviously trying to hold in his laughter as you grumble under your breath, snatching that stupid plastic ring off of your finger. 

you glance at him before rolling your eyes. “go ahead.”

in the blink of an eye, his boisterous laughter fills the car, high and squeaky, and you silently empathize with the lyft driver who subtly turns the radio up to combat the intrusive noise. beomgyu’s doubled over, patting his leg as he gasps for air, eyes squeezed shut; and as much as you hate to admit it, your own lips quirk up into a small smile at the sound. curse your best friend and his contagious laughter.

“i can’t believe we just did that,” beomgyu heaves out before another round of giggles leaves his lips. he reaches up to push his hair out of his face before wiping at his eyes dramatically. 

“i didn’t think i had it in me,” you agree, giving in to the grin that slowly spreads across your face. you make the horrible decision of meeting beomgyu’s eyes, and it takes less than a millisecond for you both to aggressively burst out laughing, bodies falling against each other's as your limbs grow weak.

“no, that was the funniest shit ever, i swear. we sold it.”

“for a second, i actually thought you were really in love with me.” your laughter slowly dies down as beomgyu lifts himself off of you, his chest rising and falling quickly as he attempts to catch his breath. you’re sure you don’t look any better—you definitely have abs after all of that.

“i just had to pretend that you were i.u,” beomgyu admits with an overexaggerated dreamy look off into the distance. you’re quick to fall into another fit of laughter but for a different reason this time.

“i.u doesn’t date freaks.”

beomgyu’s lips dramatically pout as he crosses his arms over his chest like a little kid, scoffing at your comment. “why do you always have to crush my dreams?”

“i don’t always crush your dreams. only when they’re stupid.”

“so… always?”

“no—yes.”

beomgyu’s quiet for a moment, turning his head to look out the window. his eyebrows are slightly furrowed, but the expression quickly smooths out as he turns towards you, uncrossing his arms to play with the fake ring on his finger.

“i’m not taking the couch.”

“what?” 

“it’s a couple’s suite. i’m taking the bed since i’m the one who entered us in the first place.”

you resist the urge to roll your eyes again—your mother had told you that one day your eyeballs would get stuck in the back of your head, and right now, that idea didn’t seem so bad. beomgyu’s teasing smile is anger-inducing, and you think you might rip it off if you have to look at it any longer. 

“what happened to chivalry? i’m your wife now, so as the man, you have to give me the bed.”

“fuck chivalry! you’re mean to me. i owe you nothing,” beomgyu huffs, squinting his eyes at you.

“i’m not mean to you,” you immediately defend, hitting his arm for even making such heinous accusations. beomgyu gasps, reaching up to hold his arm where you made impact.

“see? mean!”  once again, the dramatics are almost admirable—there’s no way that hurt. he’s been hitting the gym with his roommate taehyun lately, and you’ve seen the way he’s bulked up from the scrawny shrimp boy he used to be in high school. if anything, the hit hurt you!

“let’s play rock paper scissors, then. two out of three gets the bed.”

beomgyu huffs, but obediently holds up his fist. “fine.”

three games pass by in a blur.

“you cheated!” he whines, pointing his finger at you with wide eyes, his eyebrows shot up into his hairline.

“how did i cheat? just admit you suck ass, mr. couch.” your triumphant smile results in another whine from the loser next to you, putting his fist back up for a rematch. “no, i already won!”

“you’re lucky i love you.” beomgyu’s quick to give up, a tiny smile appearing on his face at the way you pretend to gag at his words.

those butterflies in your stomach are only because you skipped breakfast that morning—totally not because of the soft gaze he sends your way, mindlessly playing with the plastic ring on his finger as you two fall into a comfortable silence. totally.

☆

this sucks.

today is the first time you’ve ever ridden in first class, and you can’t even enjoy it because of the exhaustion running rampant through your veins. there’s a reason why you picked all afternoon and late night lectures; why you avoid any invitations to go out for breakfast with your friends; and why you have blackout curtains on all of your windows. you are not a morning person, whatsoever, and with that 8 a.m interview and your flight at 10 on the dot, you’re absolutely beat.

for starters, pretending to actually be in love with your best friend in front of a lady who cannot speak at a normal, human volume is more taxing than swimming from portugal to australia with no breaks. you swear. second, beomgyu has apparently never ridden an airplane before and therefore has no idea what airport etiquette is. 

(“you have to put all of your electronics in the bins, okay?”

“when i go through the x-ray thing, will they see my underwear? oh my god, no, will they see my dick?”

“no, they won’t see your dick, beomgyu.”

“but how do you know they won’t see my dick? sick fucks.”

“they’re literally doing their job, beomgyu.”

“they can do their job without looking at my dick!”

“they aren’t going to see your dick!”

the lady in front of you covers her kid's ears as she shoots you two the nastiest glare you’ve ever seen. you both bow in apology before you flick beomgyu on the back of his neck.)

you can barely keep your eyes open as you watch some marvel movie on the little screen in front of you, fighting to at least stay awake long enough to order dinner. it’s futile, though, because you’re already blacking out every few minutes, head lulling side to side like a bobblehead. 

you finally give up the battle, reminding yourself that there will be endless food at the resort, so you settle yourself into your plush seat, resting your cheek against your neck pillow. from this angle, you have a perfect view of beomgyu who’s in the secluded seat next to you, and—oh.

he looks… he looks softer than usual, only illuminated by the natural light emerging through the circular windows. his hair is slightly mussed from his fingers, his long fringe hanging over his eyes in such a way that he has to keep shaking it out of his vision. he has his earbuds in, watching the sky through the tiny window next to him with his bottom lip in between his teeth—a habit he’s had since he was young. you know he’s thinking, lost in his mind abyss by the way his fingers fidget with the end of his shirt, his leg shaking incessantly.

“hey, gyu,” you call out quietly so as to not disturb anyone else around you. his music must’ve been turned down low, seeing as his eyes find yours at the call of his name, taking an earbud out to hear you better. “you okay?”

if there’s one thing you know about your best friend, it’s when he’s nervous. it shows with the way his leg doesn’t stop moving, even as he nods out a yes in reply to your question, seeing his jaw move as he grinds his teeth together. 

“the plane keeps shaking,” he whispers, eyes wide and worried as a little bit of turbulence rocks the cabin right after he finishes speaking. even in your tired state, you can’t help but laugh softly at his animated expression, shaking your head.

“are you scared?” the teasing tone in your voice is apparent—beomgyu rapidly shakes his head in disagreement, but you see right through him as his hand grips the armrest, eyebrows knitted together. everything in your nature tells you to tease him, rile him up a bit, poke fun at him—but he genuinely looks concerned, and you’re too tired to come up with anything witty to say. instead…

“it’s just turbulence. you’re okay, gyu.”

you watch the way beomgyu relaxes ever so slightly, nodding his head as his grip loosens. you send him a little smile, not bothering to wait for him to smile back before turning your head the other way, finally letting sleep pull you under.

[FREE MARGARITAS.]

you don’t get a single moment to look around the resort because as soon as you both lug all of your things into your suite, you’re told a romantic, candle-lit dinner on the beach just down the hill has been reserved for you two as a welcome gift by the company. you’re not complaining of course, but you still would’ve liked to at least get acquainted with the area before indulging in everything.

it takes you an hour and a half to get ready; partially because beomgyu’s showers take forever. he’s in there singing along to some random 70s hits playlist, having the time of his life, while you take the time to look around the suite. 

it’s huge, to say the least. a single pod building that sits on a hill full of others alike with pristine white walls and elegant decoration—it’s almost 3 times bigger than your own apartment and you can only imagine how much all of this would’ve cost. wide, open windows line the walls with marbled tile underneath your feet, the furniture ranging from white to beige to a palette of blues, mimicking the colors of the beach in the distance.

outside is a wide patio with a glistening pool and comfy lounge area, complete with a loveseat and a swing. it has the perfect view of the coast, the sun already lowering behind the horizon. it’s absolutely breathtaking, and you make sure to take plenty of pictures, even posting a few on your instagram story (without tagging beomgyu, because you’re pissed at how long he’s taking in the bathroom.)

by the time he comes out, his hair is blow-dried and pushed out of his face with a headband. he looks like casper the friendly ghost with the white facemask he adorns and you stifle a laugh at the thought. 

you force yourself to dismiss the way he only has a towel wrapped around his waist, chest completely bare as he strides over to his suitcase—he doesn’t even bother to acknowledge your presence as he pulls out the most formal thing he can find, dropping it onto the bed.

“you gonna shower or what?” he asks over his annoyingly broad shoulder, hands reaching down to undo the towel around his waist. a yelp leaves your lips at the sudden movement, covering your eyes as you rush towards the bathroom.

“you’re disgusting!” you yell before slamming the door shut, locking it for good measure. his cackles ring throughout the suite and you flick him off from behind the wall—he can’t see it, but you want to at least get it out of your system.

halfway through your shower, you realize you forgot to bring your clothes into the bathroom to change. you blame this all on beomgyu—half because somehow every inconvenience in your life is all his fault and half because you just want a reason to ignore the way you keep thinking about how toned he’s gotten recently. you mentally make it your mission to shut down every single gym in his vicinity.

you wrap your towel tight around your body before cracking the door open, the cool air from the a/c attacking your skin like icicles. poking your head out, you scan the room for any sign of your counterpart, but the room seems to be completely empty. you wait a few seconds, just in case he decides to make any unannounced appearances before deeming the room safe enough to enter. the coast is clear.

you rush over to your suite case, unzipping it to find an appropriate dress, deciding on a white one to match the white button-up beomgyu had pulled out. you grab your makeup bag, as well as your perfume and it isn’t until you stand back up to find refuge in the bathroom that you notice the figure in the doorway. you jump in surprise, a small scream escaping your lips as you wrap your arms around yourself defensively. 

“you fucking stalker,” you huff as he doubles over in laughter. 

“oh my god, you should’ve seen your face,” he gasps, holding his hand to his stomach as his entire body vibrates with cackles. despite the venomous glare you send his way, your eyes can’t help but catch onto the fact that beomgyu cleans up nicely. 

you’ve gotten so used to beomgyu’s endless collection of sweatpants and hoodies that the thought of him looking like an a-list celebrity never once crossed your mind. the top few buttons of his shirt are undone, exposing the smooth expanse of his chest, appropriately decorated with a few layered necklaces. it seems like he decided to trade out his usual dangly earrings and ear piercings for simple studs that shine when the chandelier above you hits them. 

those black dress pants hug his legs in a way that makes you swallow, feeling your body grow warm at the way he tucks his hands into his pockets. he cocks his head at you curiously, a jesting smile on his lips—he looks infuriatingly good, to the point where you have to physically rip your eyes away from him.

“like what you see?” he badgers while he strolls into the room, as if he can see right through your little facade. you scoff, holding your stuff tight to your chest as you flee towards the bathroom again. 

“what happened to privacy?” you make sure to completely ignore his previous question—he can tell all too easily when you’re lying, and you really don’t feel like being teased relentlessly tonight.

“what’s the issue? you’re my wife now, aren’t you?” his voice is provoking, playful as you burn through him with another intense glare.

“beomgyu, i promise you, i will drown you in that pool if you say another word.” and then you happily slam the door shut in his face.

“no, you won’t! you love me too much,” he singsongs from behind the door. all you can do is roll your eyes because—yes. yes, you do.

☆

you don’t think you’ve ever seen beomgyu act so… gentlemanly ever since he tried to get his 6th grade crush to like him back—but this time, without the weird phrases he stole from western movies and the electric blue braces that lined his teeth.

he’s committed to this husband act; pulling your chair out for you and pushing you in after you take a seat, kissing the back of your hand (you kicked him under the table at that), and even telling you that you look, and you quote, “absolutely stunning, baby.”

you hope your discontentment isn’t showing too obviously through your forced smiles and giggles, that plastic wedding band around your ring finger uncomfortably sticking to your skin. 

you can’t deny the fact that the dinner is really nice, though. never in your life would you have thought you’d be drinking expensive wines and eating 5-star cuisine on a beach with your childhood best friend—you’re pretty sure 14-year-old y/n would’ve complained about how it should’ve been choi soobin from 4th period instead of beomgyu, but you’ll take what you can get.

in all honesty, it simply feels like a normal dinner out with your best friend. you both still laugh and joke as usual, reminiscing on the time when beomgyu forgot to take out his retainer before his band performed at the school festival in 10th grade, resulting in a slurred rendition of sk8er boi by avril lavigne and a crowd full of giggling onlookers. (if you had to threaten a few people to leave beomgyu alone about it afterward, then so be it.)

the thing is, it’s not hard to let go around beomgyu. you’ve known each other since you were in diapers; defending beomgyu from bullies in elementary, attending all of his self-made band’s concerts, and hanging out on your rooftop eating popsicles and gummy worms. you could complain all you’d like about his teasing, his constant, exuberated nature, and his inane questions, but there’s no one else that you’d put your life on the line for, other than the puppy-like man in front of you.

his eyes sparkle with the reflection of the candlelight as he rambles on about how he genuinely thought planes did a loopty-loop before taking off and your heart aches with a sort of warmth you’ve been trying to dismiss for so long. 

the dinner ends all too quickly, and by the time you down your last glass, you realize you’re slightly tipsy. you’ve always been a lightweight, but you really didn’t think you drank that much—you must’ve been too distracted by beomgyu’s crazy stories to acknowledge the waiter constantly filling your glass after every few sips. at least it was free.

you slightly wobble on your heels as you take a stand in the sand, a little noise of surprise leaving your lips as a warm hand meets your hip, swiftly steadying you. you look down and automatically recognize the amazon ring, your head turning to meet beomgyu’s gentle eyes.

“don’t tell me i have to carry you all the way back.” and even though it’s a joke, there’s a layer of genuineness in his tone as you stumble again.

“‘m not that drunk,” you reply with the slightest of slurs, quietly giggling at the simple image of beomgyu carrying you bridal style to the bed. now that would truly sell the act, for sure. beomgyu shakes his head with a small smile, but his hand doesn’t leave your waist as he guides you back towards the suite, his touch firm and sturdy. 

you’re almost across the beach when you stumble again, but this time, your heel actually gives out as you trip, a tiny yelp leaving your lips right before you hit the ground. you squeeze your eyes shut, bracing yourself for the impact—but it never comes.

“yep. i’m carrying you.”

you crack an eye open to see beomgyu with an amused smile on his face, both of his hands holding onto your hips. turns out you weren’t even close to hitting the ground at all… okay, maybe you are drunk.

“piggy back ride?” you ask with a little giggle. you’re reminded of that time beomgyu had to give you a piggyback ride all the way back home from the park after you sprained your ankle trying to do a backflip off of the swing in elementary school. what a time.

beomgyu rolls his eyes fondly, but gives you a little nod, letting go of your waist to kneel down by your feet. “give me your foot.”

you give him a quizzical look, cocking your head at him in pure confusion before he pats his thigh, motioning towards your leg. still a bit out of it, you hold onto his shoulder as you lift your foot, feeling a weird sensation rush up your spine at the way he gently holds onto your calf to slip your heel off of your foot. he does the same to the other without a word, completely unfazed by the way your mouth remains slightly ajar in shock. his fingers are gentle and soothing against your skin, despite being mildly calloused from his guitar back home.

it’s enough to throw you off, swallowing as his eyes meet yours again. his eyes are incredibly soft as he smiles up at you—he motions towards his back with a quiet “hop on”.

you obey, only faltering slightly as your arms sling around his shoulders. with the new proximity, you can smell his cologne, something sweet and woodsy. his hands grab onto your thighs—one decorated with high heels hanging off two of his fingers—before hiking you up a bit. he begins walking, saying something about how he thinks there’s 10 tons of sand in his shoes by now—and if he notices you’re too distracted by his hands on your legs to process what he’s saying, he doesn’t mention it.

☆

the view is absolutely breathtaking through the glass tall windows of your suite, the rays bouncing off of the pool as you watch beomgyu wade in the water, his eyes shut. it’s weird seeing him like this—fully relaxed, calm, and still. 

it seems like ever since you met beomgyu, all chubby-cheeked and busy-bodied, he’s always been on the move. whether it be to sprint down the road to meet you at the corner so you can walk to school together, or high in the air as he jumps on your trampoline… and even when his body is physically still, his mouth still runs a mile a minute, talking about anything and everything in the entire universe, letting his thoughts run wild around you.

as much as you truly do adore his silly side, him being the main reason why you were able to break out of your shell in the first place, you can’t help but be slightly fascinated with this alternate side of him.

it’s morning now; the yellowish-white hue of the blinding sun bounces off of his skin as he soaks up the moment, his brown hair getting so long it falls down the back of his neck in soft layers. you feel like a creep, watching him like this, but something about the entire atmosphere makes your eyes unable to look away as you slowly sip on the complimentary margaritas. 

your best friend has always been attractive—that’s one thing you cannot deny. he’s had his fair share of flings, and partners (and even a throuple once) throughout the years while you’ve only endured a few situationships here and there. he’s been called handsome his entire childhood and well into his adult years, taking the compliment in stride. he never let it get to his head or fuel his ego, though; for some reason, that fact makes him even more appealing.

he’s always just been your best friend, and you both are incredibly okay with that label—you know each other best, and that’s all that really matters. never mind the way his eyelashes flutter like monarch butterflies, or the way his cheeks flush when it’s too cold outside, or the way his leg bounces when he’s excited or nervous, alike. you try to ignore the way his laughter always manages to make the sun come out, and the way he always orders for you at restaurants because he knows you aren’t a fan of talking to strangers, and the way he seems always to know what you need, right when you need it.

he’s truly the yin to your yang. but there’s something else bubbling under the surface that you aren’t quite sure you’re ready to acknowledge yet. 

a loud call of your name grabs your attention, your vision focusing on a grinning beomgyu waving you down from the edge of the pool. you don’t even have it in you to huff at the prospect of moving from your comfortable lounge chair, standing up to make your way to the large patio. sliding the door open, you poke your head out, immediately feeling the muggy air of midday wrap around you like a heated blanket. 

“get in with me! the water is super warm,” he calls, motioning you towards him with his arm, the action flicking water everywhere. you frown a bit, looking at the pool behind him before meeting his eager eyes again.

“you know i can’t swim, idiot.” 

beomgyu’s smile doesn’t falter for a second as he shrugs, holding his hand out.

“then i’ll do the swimming for you.” 

the offer is so light-hearted and casual—it shouldn’t make your heart lunge in your chest, your gut twisting with anticipation at the simple implications of his words.

you’re already in your bathing suit from the mirror selfies you took for simply the aesthetic—a simple blue bikini tied tightly around your frame. you really don’t want to waste your time here; when else will you get the chance to stay in greece for free with your best friend? 

so you let your feet carry you to the stairs of the pool, your fingers wrapping around the metal railing as you slowly step in, foot by foot. by the time you’ve made it waist deep, you begin to feel the fear creep into your bones.

“i won’t let you drown, y/n,” beomgyu laughs as you suspiciously eye the deep end of the pool, unable to even see the bottom of it. your hand tightly grips the rail as beomgyu wades his way toward you, holding his hand out for you to take. “i promise. just hold on to me.”

you nibble on your lip as your eyes flicker down to his hand, feeling the water move gently around you. drowning has always been one of your biggest fears, and because of that, you’ve always stayed far away from any body of water capable of swallowing you up whole. 

but beomgyu’s eyes are warmer than the water, the most delicate of smiles resting on his soft features. there’s no room to be scared—not with the way his hand is so grounding as you take hold of it, squealing a bit as he tugs you closer. 

“do you trust me?” and when he speaks, his voice is just barely above a whisper, his face so close to yours that you can individually count his eyelashes. his margarita-tinted breath fans over your lips and you find yourself unable to cringe away, nodding cautiously in response. 

your hands tightly grasp his shoulders as he wraps a strong arm around your waist, holding you close to him as he uses his other arm to swim deeper into the pool. his doesn’t let up, even slightly, his grip sturdy around your figure as he utilizes one arm to keep you both afloat.

“here, wrap your legs around me,” he speaks, tapping your thigh under the water. you’re sure your eyebrows shoot up into your hairline, your mouth bobbing open and shut like a fish out of water.

“wha… huh?” you question oh, so eloquently, the rumble of beomgyu’s laughter transferring against your skin. his nose crinkles up in the way it always does when he finds something to be a bit too entertaining, his eyes forming those pretty crescent moons as his eyelashes tickle his cheeks.

“it’ll make this easier. i’m not trying to carry a dead weight,” beomgyu speaks as if it’s the most simple thing in the world. you’re still dumbfounded, blinking at him blankly—so he decides to take matters into his own hands, reaching down to situate you against him by himself. “there, that’s better.”

a persistent heat surges through your stomach as your brain slowly registers the position. beomgyu’s arm tightens around your waist as you adjust your hips in a way that makes your clothed core brush against his bulge. you almost see the way his eyes darken, his tongue peeking out to swipe over his bottom lip. it’s quiet, still as the distant sound of the beach’s waves and the gentle trickle of water fills in the silence. 

your arms slowly come up to wrap around his neck—you don’t know what possesses you; some weird entity that makes beomgyu’s lips look all too kissable, and his eyes sickeningly alluring. his adam’s apple bobs as his eyes flicker across your face. you don’t register the way he slowly wades you both toward the wall of the pool, effectively caging you in as your back gently presses against the tile.

you have the chance to run, to push him off of you, and go back inside—to pretend your core doesn’t pulse with want as he presses his entire body against you. his chest is warm and his eyes are blown out, and you can say no.

but you don’t want to.

his eyes search yours for something before they trail down to your lips, his hips meeting yours in a way that renders you slightly dizzy with the proximity. 

“tell me you don’t want this and i’ll stop, right now,” he whispers, his fingers leaving a ticklish feeling against your exposed skin under the water. you swallow.

“i want this, please.” and his lips are on yours before you can take another breath.

it’s nothing gentle; as if he’s been starved for your taste for all of eternity. the kiss is bruising as he nibbles on your bottom lip, his tongue meeting yours as you gasp into his mouth. he takes control easily, his hips moving against yours as the water moves around you, the sound mixing in with your quiet moans and beomgyu’s sparse grunts. 

he swallows all of your sounds, holding you down against him as he bucks up into your core, his dick hard and heavy in between your legs. you squeeze your legs tighter around his waist as you match his movement to the best of your ability. you’re nearly unable to think straight as he kisses the oxygen out of you, your mind growing hazy as pleasure shoots up your spine when he rubs against your clit just right.

beomgyu breaks the kiss to dive into your neck, sucking and biting small marks onto your unblemished skin before kissing over the soon-to-be marks. he can’t keep his mouth off of you as he trails his lips under your jaw, over your clavicle, nipping at your cleavage. your own voice sounds foreign in your ears as every lick and bite shoots straight to your core, feeling that knot in your gut tightens with every thrust.

“think you can cum just like this, hm? just from humping my cock?” beomgyu pants against your skin as his lips brush over your cheek, his breath fanning your ears. the head of beomgyu’s clothed dick catches onto your slit for the slightest of seconds, and you have to clench all of the muscles in your body to not cum on the spot.

“ye—yes, please don’t stop,” you whine, tilting your head back to invite his lips back to your neck. you’re sure you’re leaving marks on beomgyu’s shoulder blades from how hard your nails dig into his skin, but he doesn’t seem to mind—if anything, it makes his hips work faster against yours, pressing you full-on against the pool walls. 

“so good for me, fuck.”

beomgyu kisses up your neck, a low groan leaving his lips at the way you’re bouncing on his cock like a bitch in heat, clawing at his skin as your pussy clenches around nothing.

“gyu, ‘m—can i cum? please, please, please.” you can’t hold on anymore—not with the way beomgyu laughs against your skin, his free hand reaching up to grab your chin, forcing your lips against his again. he licks into your mouth with fervor, your teeth clashing together. your spit-slicked lips slide against each other, wet and messy, and he finally decides to take pity on you.

“go ahead, cum for me, baby.”

your brain goes blank as you finally come undone, blindly sinking into beomgyu’s lips and his faltering thrusts. your entire body tenses up as you moan against his lips, feeling like a ragdoll in the way he leaves soft kisses against your lax mouth. a low, rumbling groan emits from his chest as his hips still, twitching against yours subtly. he exhales once he finally pulls away from your swollen lips, his hand coming up to cup your cheek.

it takes a second for you both to catch your breaths and when you finally blink your eyes open, beomgyu’s puppy-like eyes are already on yours.

“you okay?” his voice oozes with a type of concern; care that feels all too intimate. his pupils are blown wide, alluring and deep as they scan your face. you nod with a small sigh, leaning forward to drop your head onto his shoulder. you feel his torso shake with a chuckle at the action, feeling an unnamed emotion run through your chest.

you don’t pay any mind to it, though. not while you're ruminating in a cum-contaminated body of water.

“we should probably call someone to clean the pool.” and the laughter that bubbles out of beomgyu’s mouth is enough to distract you, just for a moment.

[I DO.]

it’s a weird, strange domestic feeling waking up to a fluffy head of brown hair resting on your shoulder, caged in by gentle arms around your waist. beomgyu’s always been a cuddler, and a week ago, you would’ve cringed at the simple thought of indulging him.

but now, a warm feeling blooms in your chest like a hydrangea as your fingers slip into his mussed hair to play with the strands. you’ve been cowed by your emotions, unable to fight off the fond smile that climbs onto your lips at the sight of the teddy bear-esque man clinging to you in his sleep. 

you don’t know what to do with all of these butterflies swarming in your chest, flapping against each other, kicking up a sandstorm of admiration that runs wild through your veins. he’s your best friend—and at this point in time, you know he’s more than that.

it’s crazy to think that romantic feelings can accumulate overnight, and you’re starting to suspect that maybe these feelings have existed all along. he’s the only one capable of rendering you speechless, whether it be from the crazy things he says or the way his eyes sparkle with a sense of youthfulness that tethers you two together. he’s the only one who can make you feel so carefree and in the moment—you don’t worry about the future or what’s to come with beomgyu. you simply enjoy the now, soaking up his blinding smiles and outlandish stories.

he’s waking up, you realize, as he mumbles under his breath, nuzzling closer to you. his lips brush your neck, his hair tickling your cheek in a way that makes your nose scrunch up with a small giggle. you feel drunk despite the fact that all of the alcohol has long dispersed in your body overnight—you blame it all on the fact that the sun sits high in the sky, shining kindly through the wide, open windows. it lights beomgyu up in a way that squeezes your heart painfully, the white sheets strewn across his waist making him look so soft and gentle.

“good morning,” you mumble with a tiny smile as beomgyu begins littering faint kisses against the expanse of your neck, brushing over the previous marks he’d left there yesterday. he simply hums in response, his arms loosening from around your waist to trail up the side of your body—his touch is so delicate, you let yourself get lost in the feeling, your eyes fluttering shut as he softly nips at your skin. 

he situates himself so that he’s hovering over you and you open your eyes again, feeling the sudden urge to shy away from his gaze. you’ve never seen such a look in his eyes—something so heavy and raw. as if he’s prying you apart and putting you back together again. it makes a shiver run up your spine.

“good morning, beautiful,” he finally replies and you can’t help but giggle again—you feel like a teenager, the way your stomach flutters at his morning voice, all deep and raspy and sultry. his brown eyes are half-lidded from sleep, his skin warm as his fingers brush your cheek.

the tension in the air isn’t incredibly prominent—it still lingers but with a less demanding presence. it’s natural and easy in the way it always is with beomgyu. existing with beomgyu is just so uncomplicated. 

you feel yourself melt into the sheets as he presses closer, molding himself into you perfectly—as if he was destined to be right here all along. his nose brushes yours as he leans in, and when his lips touch yours, any thoughts clouding your mind immediately disperse, making room for the sun itself. your arms come up to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to you, feeling his heartbeat against yours. you feel safe, lax, content; all things good in the world. 

his lips are unrushed as they move against yours, silently speaking a thousand words as he cups the side of your face, his hips subtly moving against yours. you sigh into his mouth, tilting your head to deepen the kiss—you don’t care about morning breath or the fact that you probably look a mess with your ridden-up shirt and tired eyes. and beomgyu doesn’t care either, licking into your mouth as if you’re a rare delicacy, grinding down against your thin panties. 

he’s half-hard in his pants, desperately rubbing against you to chase whatever pleasure he can get. it’s endearing almost, the way he moans into your mouth as you reach down to slip your fingers past his waistband to trail a light touch over his dick. his voice is deeper than normal, stirring something inside of you that makes your legs clamp around his hips.

“i want you, gyu,” you breathe out once his lips finally leave yours, pumping him slowly. his lips catch in between his teeth as your fingers run over the head of his dick, feeling your fingers coat with sticky precum.

“hm? gotta be more specific than that, gorgeous,” beomgyu teases despite the way he’s slowly thrusting into your hand, smiling down at you in a way that usually would’ve pissed you off—but right now, it only makes your pussy drip with want. 

“i want you inside of me. want you to fill me up,” you whine out as his fingers rub your clit over your panties, moving lower to press against your damp entrance. his resolve crumbles all too quickly as you peer up at him with your doe eyes, lips parted as you whine softly, moving your hips against his fingers. 

“fuck, okay baby.”

you let him move away to strip himself of his sparse clothing as you pull your shirt over your head. the butterflies return quickly as you realize this is the first time you’re seeing each other completely unclothed and—oh god. he’s huge. your half-asleep state didn’t realize the sheer amount of dick between your fingers, but now that you’re seeing it in the morning light, you aren’t even sure if it’ll fit.

beomgyu makes his way back over to you, his fingers hooking onto the band of your panties to drag them down your legs. his eyes are almost predatory as he takes in your glistening folds, unable to stop himself from running his fingers over your cunt, collecting your juices.

“you’re dripping,” he awes, his eyes flickering up to yours with a small smile. a heat rushes up your neck, shyly covering your face with both of your hands. beomgyu’s small laugh resonates throughout the room, feeling his clean hand come up to gently move your arms away.

when you meet his eyes again, they’re filled with a sort of fondness that makes your head spin, makes your heart stutter—it’s horrible and you can’t help the small whine that leaves your lips as his fingers return to your cunt, slightly dipping into your hole, soaking them even more.

“i want you to look at me. can you do that?” beomgyu gently requests and you’re nodding before you can fully register his words. he flashes you a proud smile before he brings his wet fingers up to his mouth, licking them clean of your juices. an airy, surprised moan leaves your body against your will at the sight, and his smile broadens. “you taste amazing, baby.”

his middle finger enters your entrance with no resistance, and you feel yourself clench down as he curls it upwards to gently explore your walls. it’s all too much and not enough all at once. he’s going incredibly slow, as if you two have all the time in the world, but you can’t wait. you need him now.

“please, just fuck me. ‘m ready,” you demand through a whine, pleading with your eyes, an action that effectively softens beomgyu's gaze. he doesn’t remove his finger, but instead adds another alongside it, his thumb coming to brush against your clit. you buck against his hand with a small moan as he moves up your body, trailing kisses from your hipbone, to your breasts, and finally your lips.

it’s a chaste peck, but it’s enough to leave you wanting more, chasing after his lips once he pulls back. you whine at the loss, already feeling your brain turn to mush with the way his fingers slowly drag against the walls of your cunt, his thumb just barely applying pressure to your swollen nub.

“are you sure?” 

“yes, yes, ‘m sure. want your cock, gyu. just—” you’re nearly hysterical as your hips grind down on his fingers. you can already feel the frustrated tears brimming your eyelashes, reaching up to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, your lips brushing against his. “please, please…”

“shh. it’s okay, baby,” beomgyu coos, pressing a few soft kisses to your lips. you quietly gasp as he removes his fingers from your hole. he kisses your cheeks all too delicately, his forearm resting by your head to steady himself. “i’ll take care of you. just relax.”

you almost cry happy tears with the way you feel the head of his cock tease your hole, dipping in but not fully entering. his lips find yours again as he drags his dick in between your sopping folds, swallowing his low moan at the feeling. “my perfect girl. so pretty, so wet for me.”

when he pushes in, your arms tighten around his neck, your enter body locking up at the intrusion. you feel like a virgin again, his girth stretching you open almost uncomfortably. his thumb rubs your hips to soothe you, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss to distract you from the feeling. he stops for a second, letting you get used to his dick as he peppers kisses across your face.

“fuck, it feels like you’re splitting me in half,” you blurt out and beomgyu can’t help but laugh softly, his forehead resting against yours. “i think i can feel you in my throat.”

“can you stop making me laugh so i can fuck you stupid, please?”

his words are lighthearted, but the thought of being fucked to the point where you can’t even speak has you shutting up in no time. you whine quietly as beomgyu continues pushing into you until he’s fully situated inside of your cunt—you’re fluttering around him like crazy, feeling the faint pain slowly dispersing into pleasure as he kisses your jaw.

“you can move now,” you mumble, and beomgyu wastes no time pulling out, almost all the way, just to snap his cock back into you with a force that rocks the bed slightly. you can’t cover up the choked-out gasp that leaves your lips, eventually turning into a stream of moans and whines as he quickly sets a brutal pace. 

his tip kisses your cervix with every thrust, your mind clouding over as pleasure fills your bloodstream, your pussy clenching around his thick cock. he places one last kiss on your lips before sitting up, both of his hands moving wrapping around your thighs. you’re so wet that his dick easily glides in and out of you, wet, squelching sounds filling the room as you drip around him. 

“you’re so tight, god. letting me fuck you raw like the needy slut you are,” he chastizes, groaning as he pulls your body in to meet his hips. his strokes are so deep, you already feel yourself nearing your high.

“yes, yes, yes. need you,” you cry out, hands gripping the sheets. “so big, gyu. ‘s too much, i can’t—” 

“you were the one crying for my cock, so you better take it.” his sudden demeanor change sends a tingly rush up your spine, leaving your brain a muddled mess. his bangs have fallen into his eyes, his cheekbones flushed with a slight pink from the physical exertion and the warmth of the sun beaming through the windows. his stomach contracts with every thrust into your wet heat, low moans and sharp gasps leaving his lips as his eyes fall shut, his head lolling back at the feeling.

your core throbs, gut tightening with every passing moment—at some point, he brings his fingers down to circle your clit, whimpers leaving your mouth at the overwhelming feeling of it all. you clench down around him, hand stretching out for something, anything; and it only takes a few seconds for beomgyu to notice. his fingers interlace with yours, giving your hand a grounding squeeze.

“gonna fill you up—gonna make a mess of this pretty pussy,” beomgyu pants out, a low moan leaving his lips as his hips slightly stutter.

“‘m gonna cum, gyu, ‘m cumming,” you babble out, your head rolling to the side as your eyes shut, the immense pleasure coursing through your body becoming all too much. somewhere through your muffled ears, you hear beomgyu praising you for taking him so well, but by that point, you’re already gone. 

the moan that leaves your lips is nearly pornagraphic, your fingers clawing at the sheets as your orgasm washes over you. all the air is punched out of your lungs and beomgyu thrusts deep into you before settling there, a low groan leaving his lips as his dick twitches inside of you.

“fuck, baby, i love you. i love you so much,” he breathes out as he cums—you feel the hot streaks of his cum painting your insides, shooting places you weren’t even sure existed inside of you. it leaves your mind hazy, unable to even process the way he pulls out, his cum dripping out of you and onto the white sheets.

the feeling of a hot, wet tongue against your entrance makes your hips buck up—you let out a surprised gasp that’s quickly overtaken by a whimper, your hand reaching to entangle itself in his hair.

“wait, gyu—fuck, i’m sensitive,” you whine, feeling your eyes brim with tears at the overstimulation. his tongue flicks against your abused cunt as he cleans up his own cum, fucking it back into you with his tongue. 

“you can take it, baby. i know you can,” he pants against your pussy before his lips encircle your clit, sucking and nibbling ever so slightly. you can’t control the noise leaving your lips, whining and moaning as your legs clamp around his head. beomgyu simply chuckles against you before two of his fingers enter your pussy, teasing and prodding at your sentive walls.

“gyu, i can’t, i can’t…” you sob, tears running down your cheeks as the overstimulation sends painful shocks up your spine. you’re gushing around his tongue, the sheets beneath you completely soaked through. your brain fights against itself, your body unsure of whether to press closer or pull away. you can’t think about anything other than beomgyu’s fingers and mouth, eyes squeezed shut as your body racks with sobs.

“yes, you can. cum on my tongue, pretty girl.”

and you do, your back arching as you moan loudly, your hand coming up to cover your mouth as your hips frot against his face, waves of pleasure washing over you, drowning you. your entire body trembles with shocks as your mind goes blank, flopping back onto the bed as you attempt to catch your breath. tears are still running down your cheeks—your entire body feels like it’s floating. you’re completely wrung out. that was probably the hardest you’ve ever come in your life.

you don’t even register beomgyu’s soft hands on your cheeks as he wipes your tears away, his lips pressing against your forehead, your nose; anywhere his lips can reach. it’s grounding as you slowly come back down to earth.

“you did so well for me, baby. so, so perfect. so beautiful. you took it all, i’m so proud of you.”

you blink your eyes open at his words, feeling those butterflies flock with the way he’s watching you so attentively, his eyes flitting across your face quickly. 

“i didn’t go too far, did i?” beomgyu’s voice is almost nervous, low and quiet in your ear as he strokes the side of your face. you crack a small smile at how cute he looks, reaching up to brush some of the hair out of his eyes.

“no, not at all. i liked it,” you reassure, your fingers trailing down his neck, playing with the hair on the back of his neck. he visibly melts into your touch at the words, shoulders slumping in relief. 

“thank god,” he breathes out, slumping on top of you—you half-heartedly protest, but the weight is nice, loving the way it feels to have his chest rise and fall against yours, his head resting in the crook your neck. you wrap your arms around him with a little giggle, pressing a kiss to his hair.

“you big baby,” you tease. he’s completely unbothered, though, pressing a quick kiss to your shoulder before settling against you again.

“only around you.”

the quiet is relaxing, hearing the calm waves of the beach down the hill and the slight buzz of the air conditioner. as much as your brain wants to believe that you imagined it, his words from a few moments ago ring like a mantra in your head. words that make your chest tight, and your mind spin, and your stomach flutter. having him in your arms like this makes you sure that what you heard wasn’t made up in your mind.

“you said you love me.”

a beat of silence.

“hm?” he hums inquisitively as if he didn’t hear you correctly the first time.

“when you, um—when you… came…” you whisper the last part, feeling the vibrations of beomgyu’s laugh fill your own chest.

“you’re still shy after all of that?” beomgyu asks incredulously as he lifts his head to look at you. a tiny, playful smile sits on his lips and you pout, nudging him softly.

“stop changing the topic!” beomgyu laughs again as he relaxes back into your hold.

“okay, i did say i love you. because i do. i love you.”

the words hit you deeper this time, now that your mind is clear—he sounds so sure of himself, and the confidence seeps into you, confirming your own feelings that have been threatening to spill over these last few days.

“i love you too.” you pause for a second. “ like, love love you.” 

beomgyu chuckles against your skin, his arms tightening around your frame as he nuzzles in closer to you, despite already being skin to skin. he’s cute, you think.

“i’d hope ‘love love’ is what we’re talking about right now,” he speaks almost sarcastically and you lightly tug his hair for being a smartass—you get the opposite reaction you were searching for though because beomgyu dramatically moans at the action just to rile you up even more.

“oh my god, you’re insufferable,” you huff, but the smile on your face is telling enough as he lifts his head once again to meet your eyes—his hair is all messy and strewn about, lips bitten red and raw, cheeks flushed; and that fact that you’re in love with your best friend full sinks in. he’s everything to you.

“but you love me.”

you sigh.

“yea. i do.”

a blinding smile breaks out on beomgyu’s lips as he leans in to peck yours a few times, your body melting as he kisses you with so many emotions, it makes your heart get caught in your throat, your skin buzzing with contentment. 

he pulls away, sitting up to climb off the bed, searching for his sweatpants.

“come on. time for me to do my husband duties and run you a bath.”

“you’re still comitting to this, huh?” you giggle as you sit up too, watching his figure retreat towards the bathroom. beomgyu turns slightly, the smile on his lips absolutely menacing.

“so? i gotta practice for the future.”

your future, you brain tells you.

and that idea isn't so bad, you think.

reblogs and feedback are highly cherished!

tags! @grayscorner @banggyu0308 @huckleberrykai @agustdiv1ne @yunhorights @nes-caf @1921choi

masterlist

©️BEOM-PYU

[miupow]

⭑𓂃 GETTING STONED W/ TXT .ᐟ ୭ ˚. [ HEADCANONS]

☆〜（ゝ。∂）txt x gn!reader ⋆ cw// drugs/marijuana mentions! sfw, tooth rotting fluff <𝟑 kissing, cuddling, implied established relationships

⤷ what i imagine it's like smoking with the boys . . .

연준 YEONJUN

i imagine him high is a lot like him drunk lol

soft, sleepy, cuddly and just the biggest baby whining that he wants kisses now

likes using your lap as a pillow for his head, the type to nuzzle his face in your belly and wrap his arms tight around you-- won't you play with his hair? tell him what an amazingwonderfulhandsome boyfriend he is?

tries very hard not to fall asleep on you but fails every time

pls take care of him :(

finds the other boys annoying when they're high lol but still does it with them because they're his baby brothers and he loves them no matter how much they piss him off <33

cannot smoke without you because he'd spend the entire sesh going "where's my baby?? i wanna see my baby, i miss them so much :(("

수빈 SOOBIN ⭑𓂃

the kind to just stare blankly at the wall for hours

"bin, you okay?" "uh huh..."

probably gets sensory overload easily, don’t have too much going on at once or he’ll get a headache :<

soogyu is my dream blunt rotation im gonna be honest they're so fucking funny they just be sayin shit

high bin says the some of funniest things you've ever heard in your life but he has no idea he's even being funny

"why are you laughing at me??? :(("

gasps when you tell him you love him even though you tell him every day

“REALLY??? I LOVE YOU TOO!!!”

will get into the dumbest arguments, especially with gyu?? “what do you think would happen if you put a werewolf on the moon…” “what the hell is wrong with you??”

“no, dumbass, that’s not even how ufos work. look it up.”

범규 BEOMGYU ⭑𓂃

true delulu headcanon time here but hear me out okay

he's so crazy adhd brain high energy when he's sober but i feel like when he's stoned he's so. chill?

put a movie on or something and he'll be quiet for hours he's just so transfixed by the moving colors and lights

just wants to cuddle with you in silence or like. talk about deep shit

you honestly kind of love it because you'll have conversations about your future and your relationship that gyu wouldn't take seriously sober

he's very upfront and straightforward with his feelings when he's stoned, which is so unlike him

says some corny shit with stars in his eyes like "i wanna spend forever with you" and then regrets it later because he sounded like a dweeb

he's so whipped for you and he can't hide it :<

let him lay on your chest, playing with his long pretty hair, calling him beomie while he looks up at you with hazy, unfocused but so in love eyes

again soogyu = dream blunt rotation gyu is so funny

“do crabs think fish are flying??” type mf i love him very much

태현 TAEHYUN ⭑𓂃

this might be an unpopular opinion but tyun is absolutely the biggest stoner out of the five of them

i feel like he would smoke to relax, not necessarily to get high-- he's on stress overdrive 24/7, especially during comeback season,, he smokes to finally make his brain go quiet for at least a night

big social smoker but also enjoys smoking alone or just with you

i see him the most like his sober self, quiet and content and not really paying much attention to anything

normally you have to fight him to get his picture taken but when he's stoned he'll just let you shove a camera in his face and you love it sm,, "tyunnie!! baby! smile!"

very content with letting you sit on his lap while he zones out, nuzzling his neck-- he loves feeling needed, loves taking care of you

thinks everyone else is very entertaining, just enjoys watching his brothers act like idiots

he's such a bottled up guy, doesn't like to show or talk about how he's feeling ;; but he'll open up easily once you get him loosened up

휴닝카이 HUENING KAI ⭑𓂃

i want to smoke with this boy so bad. it's not even funny.

he's so cuddly and sweet and giggly,,, i lob him,,

he gets too out of it to kiss you so he makes your plushies kiss eachother instead hehe

kiss his freckles :< just give him so many smooches all over his face while he laughs that it tickles

spooning is a need not a want. he'd rest his chin on the top of your head and hold you soso close while you lay on his bed watching a movie ;;

like soobin he probably gets overstimulated easily,, he needs the lights off and he likes when you wear soft/fuzzy clothes,, ur his plushie now :<

will not let you get up for anything at all. will literally follow you to the bathroom and wait outside of the door like a puppy

SOOO much skinship he needs to touch and be touched so badly

goes totally nonverbal when he's stoned. will not say a word for hours

TUMMY RUBS also lays his head on your belly ;;

thinks literally everything is funny. show him a picture of like. a horse and he'd laugh at it

[ohnoteethy]

reddit exploding has brought some of the best posting i've seen in ages on this website. Like i really hope everything goes back to normal and reddit doesn't explode in on itself and the ceo eats shit on some concrete but GOD do i hope the new users stay. It's been like going to the same fucking camp every summer with the same people for years. like these people are my friends and i only get to see them here. but ohhhh my god theres new people. a new school came to the camp. your normal camp exploded? i'm so sorry to hear. you've been dropping some of the funniest things i've ever heard before. Thanks for bringing your students here ms reddit. yeah i really hope you come back next year to camp tumblr. no yeah i really hope your normal camp gets fixed but if you want to stay here a while you're always welcome . yeah just don't follow the strange women into the forest or the uncanny faces at your window at night that you have to banish once a week in a intricate spell. you're also trans? that's fucking awesome

[inmyminditsreal]

I Love It When You Ramble

Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: You talk a lot, and freak out a lot, And Spencer's always there for you when you do freak out, or talk his ear off, In this you find out how much he actually loves it, or rather- you.

WARNINGS!!!! sweetest shit ever

Thanks for 200 followers!!!! I was eating such a fire chicken sandwich while writing this yall.

It begins..

It would be an understatement to say you could talk a lot. Sometimes you just get these ideas and they run right off your tongue before you can think. you wish you could turn it off, but you can't. It's not like anybody really encouraged it anyway. Multiple instances of you being shut down and shrugged off. This doesn’t really stop you from talking, you're really not as bright and shiny as you used to be, but you'd like to think you're still shining. Plus, you occasionally freak out over stupid shit that isn’t stupid to you. Typical. Now, you work at the BAU. Days, to months, now a year. You can still remember the night before your first day, running your mouth talking to yourself about who you should be. Loud? Quiet? you? It’s shitty to be you sometimes. you decided you'd just be. This wasn’t an easy decision, but it’s worked out pretty good so far. 

The walk to work

You live about a ten minute walk from the office, you love this walk, and cherish it really. It's the time to get your thoughts together, you always try to convince yourself to wake up earlier to have “you time”. You bet it’s overrated. Trying to find any peace while working as a profiler isn’t so simple. Any “you time” is spent trying to get into the minds of sadistic psychopaths. The year you've worked at the office has absolutely fucked you up. Not that you're not fucked up already. you are. You found a new family at the bau, one that by not much comparison, is way better than yours. Though, you still talk too much, still get those same “Please shut up” looks. There are only two people at the office who swear they could listen to you for hours, Spencer, and Penelope. Even so, you think sometimes Penelope gets tired of you. 

Walking into the office you're greeted with the sweet smell of coffee, old paper, and a smell you can only find in an office that you can't quite describe. It’s welcoming, you can’t deny that. you spot Spencer studying his computer and walk up to him.

 “Hey spence.”

He lifts his head up and gives you his sickeningly sweet smile, “Hey come grab your chair and roll over here, I wanna show you something.” 

There's a simple sparkle in his eyes that excites the shit out of you. That look makes your stomach flutter. 

“Ooooooo! I’m excited. Is it that coffee mug I was showing you? Did you look at their website? I heard that it almost got shut down, which is crazy knowing how much detail and effort goes into their stuff. Still shocked that all of it could be handmade.” you ramble as you roll your chair next to him in a swift motion. 

“I’m sorry to say it is not, it’s even better.”

He’s right. He is so right. It’s a photoshopped picture of Hotch with an anime body pillow. On a t-shirt. You start laughing so hard, you can't stop. And as one of those people who explode onto the floor in a silent wheezy laughter, you do just that. It’s an ongoing battle between you two to find the funniest thing Hotch could do, there has been him riding a unicorn, salsa dancing, in a maid costume, etc. This got you so good. 

“Jesus, jesus. You win.” you say breathlessly as you stand back up. This obviously catches the attention of Derek and Emily and they walk over. They know about your stupid battle, and despite warning you that he’s going to find out, they of course participate. 

“Oh my god? Oh my god.” Emily says as she looks reluctantly at the screen. 

Derek just starts laughing. you're still giggling. Your phone buzzes suddenly, it’s a text from your mom.

“Oh god oh god oh no.” you mumble as you look at your phone. Your mom isn’t anyone you want to be hearing from. The simple text reads,

“How’s the bau?” You haven’t told anyone in your family you're a profiler, or where you work, or anything about your life.

Looks are exchanged between Emily and Derek. 

“Are you alright?” Asks Emily.

You start to freak out. 

“Yeah, Yeah yeah fuck okay yeah. I’m fine, it's alright. I just have to go really quick.” You start as you stand up and almost run out into the hall, pressing the elevator up. Staring at the buttons feeling like dogshit. Your brain is running its mouth, something you have gotten better at keeping in, is the outside talking. It’s still a part of you, but you hope it won't always be. It’s the only way people will listen, if you talk so much they can't look away, can’t ignore you. But at the same time you feel like they never do hear you. Tears welling in your eyes despite this being insanely stupid. The elevator doors open and you step in with a choked breath, someone slips in behind you. 

“Are you okay?” Spencer asks slowly while hitting the elevator button.

“No.” 

He had seen you get nervous but never really freak out. your fists clenched, Skin pale, teeth chattering. You had told him. Only him. A bit about your mom and family.

“What’s happened sweetheart? ” He says with his arm gently landing on your shoulder.

You feel insanely stupid. You walk out of the elevator into the parking lot.

“My mom texted.”

“Oh god, are you okay?”

“Not really, I'm sorry.” My voice starts to break, you bite your lip. “She found out where I work. What am I going to do? Is she going to tell people, make up rumors? Try to get me to come back? I keep my life secret for a REASON. I don’t know how she found out. Do you think someone here told her? I-”

His arms wrap around you and grip you intensely. He takes your arms and places them  around his waist. His hand lands on your head, stroking soft patterns into your hair. Gentle. Your hot cheek pressing  firmly against the cool vest that’s wrapped around his chest. You exhale into his arms. He cups your cheek and caresses it slowly.

“It’s okay. You’re going to be okay. She can’t hurt you.”

Words that make you melt. You nuzzle into his neck. Just to stay for another minute. Breathing in the scent of fresh laundry, books, and coffee. The only person you'd ever feel so comfortable to hold, and to let hold you, is him. You let go, you know if you don't now you won't ever want to. He looks down at you, for a little too long, then takes your still shaking hand and begins to walk into the elevator. You follow him.  

That night, you cried a lot. Feeling so vulnerable that she knows where you are, god and probably who you're with. It’s always power with her. Can’t leave you alone but doesn’t love you enough to actually talk to you, to want you.  

Couple days later

Now, You're on a case, in Canada. Triple homicide of teen girls. Typical, yet always disgusting. you're currently in the car, being driven to the nearest motel. You're sitting in the middle of the back, next to Spencer and Emily. You pull out the seatbelt to make it budge and lay your head on it. Uncomfortable, sure, but when you’re exhausted nothing else but rest matters. You start to drift asleep, smelling the leather of the seatbelt, and feeling it rub and glide against your skin.  Hearing faint voices and the feeling of being carried out of the car feeling so warm. The subtle smell of coffee floating in the air.

You wake up. Soft hotel bed sheets cuddled into your arms, the familiar smell of well- Spencer, fills your nose. He’s next to you, looking so peaceful with the sunlight hitting him at the most cruel angle, shining on the curve of his nose, the curls of his brown husky hair. He looks so beautiful. All you want to do is lay in his arms and sink into his skin. It's truly tiring loving someone knowing what’s swimming beneath your eyes, in your mind. You know you'd love him and all of his horrors, you hope someone will love you and yours. His eyes flicker open, and land on yours.

“Mornin.” He mutters sleepily. It makes your heart flutter. 

“Good morning. How’d you sleep?” You ask while sitting up to stretch. He does the same. 

He looks at you and gives you a lazy smile, “Pretty good, I’m assuming you did too?”

“Yeah, yeah. But who moved me out of the car? That's the last thing I remember.”

“I did. I carried you from there onto the lobby couch, then to our room while we were getting checked in, since I was carrying you, they decided everybody should share, and we all agreed.”  

You both stare at each other for a little while until you mumble, “Thank you, Spencer.”

“For what?” He says as you both get up to get dressed and start the day.

 He just stares at you, with a look in his eyes, a feeling that you can’t make out. 

“For everything. For carrying me in, and always listening to the things i say, for being so sweet, and cute, and hugging me, calming me down,  for not ignoring me or wishing i would shut up, or atleast making it seem like you don’t want me to shut up, for spending time with me and making jokes with me, and making me fall in love with you-. Shit. Im sorry. Fuck. Just forget it.” You rub your hands over your face and rub your eyes, “sorry.”

“Okay I’m really sorry.” You mumble.

…

“I love you.”

“What?”

“I love you when you ramble, when you’re a stuttering mess, when you’re crying, when you’re scared, I love you when you get excited about things like coffee mugs, I love you so much when you’re laughing, when you smile and your whole face lights up. I love you when you get these ideas and they’re so smart I start to feel stupid. I love you when your teeth are chattering and you’re freaking out. I love you how you are- and I will love you forever.” He says so passionately that your knees feel weak. His hands cup your cheeks, silky smooth fingers and rough harsh fingertips. You kiss him, You kiss him like nothing else matters. Morning breath? Maybe, but the taste of loving Spencer Reid is stronger. He returns the favour and pushes you into him, his hands exploring your hips and waist, pulling you up into his arms. You nuzzle into his neck yet again and leave soft peppered pecks along his jawline and down his neck. He dances his fingertips up and down your palm and locks your fingers together.

“I love you, Spence.”

“God I love you too, Beautiful.”

Anyway bonus because im bored

Spencer's POV of carrying you out of the car!!

I see her laying against the seatbelt, a soft trail of drool tipping off the edge of the leather. I swear she’s the prettiest thing. We stop at the hotel, Hotch says, 

“Should we wake her up?”

“No. I’ll take her in.” I add while gently unbuckling the seatbelt. Stopping to stare at her for only a second, or 20. A pang hits my heart as I just remember how much she worries, hoping she’s at least at peace in her sleep. I wrap my arms under her, slowly lifting her from the seat. She leans into my chest and I swear it’s the cutest thing I've ever seen. I love her so much. We get inside and I lay her down on the lobby couch, sitting by her side, her head now in my lap. I brush the hair from her face as softly as I can. We get checked in and I pick her up again and carry her into the room, silent footsteps down the hall.

I place her on the bed, take off her shoes, and put the covers over her. Suddenly she's awake, and I tell her to go back to sleep, but she insists on changing into her pjs. Apparently sleeping without them is torture. She’s perfect. Now she’s knocked right out, clinging to the bedsheets, pulling them all on top of her. Doesn’t matter. Rather freeze then take them away from her anyway. I go over today's events, and the last couple days, months, and the day she first got here, looking so beautiful, being so lovely and kind.

When I first met her she talked my head off, but I didn't care. I wanted to hear what she had to say, and it wasn't at all stupid. There's a part of me that used to talk a lot. That part is slowly coming back with her. I want her in my arms, I drift asleep thinking of a life with her.

luv yall

[cheeseceli]

It's okay

Pairing: I.N × Gn!Reader.

Genre: hurt/comfort.

Summary: you feel like everything is falling apart, but your boyfriend is there to hold you close.

Warning: mention of blood; mention of food; Y/n is pretty much in a breakdown; not proofread; some cursing.

Author's note: this happened to me but I had no i.n with me lmao😔 hope this might bring comfort to anyone who needs it

"Y/n?"

The voice of your boyfriend woke you up from the confusion that was in your mind as soon as you heard him, noticing the worried expression his features had.

"What?"

"You've been staring at this glass for a while now. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah" you started drinking from your glass of water, avoiding any other question. The cubes of ice had already melted "everything's alright."

"Okay then. Uh... do you want to order food? We can eat that guioza that you've been dying to try. Or we can just have the usual."

"Just order whatever you'd like."

You stood up and went to the kitchen, feeling guilty for treating Jeongin so cold-heartedly when he clearly was worried about you. But you really, really didn't have the energy to talk in the moment. And even if you did, you doubt anything good could get out of your mouth right now. So you were going to wait.

Wait until your problems disappeared, or until you were brave enough to face them. Whatever came first. But honestly, you didn't expect that any of the previous options would actually happen. You were just waiting for everything to get worse and dry you out. Those last days couldn't have gone worse and now you're just playing this game where you try to guess what horrible thing will follow in the list of disasters in your life. Maybe someone steals your phone tomorrow. Or you can break an arm before going to bed tonight. Maybe your university catches fire, your boyfriend breaks up with you and you receive a call from your parents telling you you're a dishonor. The possibilities are infinite.

Whatever the case is, you just feel something bad will happen, as apparently you have no control over your life anymore. Nothing happens as you plan it, it doesn't matter how hard you try. In the end, you can't stop unpleasant situations in your life, like letting the glass slip from your hands. Very next thing you know is the pain in your foot as the glass shatters next to it.

"Y/n? What was that sound?"

"Nothing"" you tried to keep calm and not involve I.N in your mess, even though you knew it wouldn't work. Not a second passed by and you could hear his footsteps coming closer.

"Oh shit."

"It's okay, I'll clean it."

"No, Y/n, stop. You are barefoot and already bleeding."

"It's just a small cut."

"Still a cut. C'mon."

You didn't quite understand at the moment, but when he searched for the nearest pair of shoes available to wear and took you in his arms you got it: he was bringing you brided style to the bathroom.

"You're overreacting."

"Just sit down, please." He placed you in the sink and started an inspection on your cut, analysing how bad it could be "does it hurt a lot?"

"No. I told you it's just a small cut."

"It's not that small baby. What's going on?"

He was focused on cleaning your wound and didn't really look at your face, but you knew he was paying attention to every small movement of yours. You could see he was trying to help you. For a second, you really wanted to be helped.

"Was it really that obvious that something's wrong?"

"It's the second glass that you break this week. Besides I know you well."

"Sorry 'bout that by the way."

"I don't care about a glass, Y/n. I just want you well. Can you tell me what's bothering you?"

"It's just..." now his eyes were on you, and you could notice how much he truly cared about you. Funny how just his eyes could lift a lot of weight out of your shoulders "I don't know, everything's seems wrong. My backpack ripped in the subway, my friends love to say shit about me as if it's the funniest joke ever, my family's dog is sick, I didn't have a proper meal for more than a week and this is a never ending list. I know I must be being dramatic as hell right now, but to be fair, I feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown."

"Baby" I.N dried one of your tears with his thumb. You didn't even notice you started crying "it's okay to feel like that. You're not being dramatic at all. After such a hell of a week you deserve to let your feelings out. What about I cancel that order, I cook your favourite to you and we sew your bag later?"

You have him a small smile, glad you had someone so great by your side, someone who knew how to be there for you "I'd like that very much."

He smiled as well "Great."

Jeongin stood up so he'd be able to give you a proper hug. Your boyfriend wasn't the touchy type usually, but he was really great at giving hugs, so whenever a moment like this happened, you tried to savour every minute.

"We can go to your parents' house tomorrow if you'd like. Maybe your dog will get better by your side."

"It's a three hours drive."

"I'm a good driver."

You smiled, hugging him tighter and pressing your face into his chest "thank you."

Reblogs and feedback is always appreciated!

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[animexts]

Comforting a mentally exhausted S/O

Modern AU!

Characters: Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji and Itachi.

NARUTO MASTERLIST

A/N: Lately I've been fucking tired mentally, and I assume there might be a follower going through it too so...

A/N²: I will probably do this with Tokyo Revengers too.

Naruto Uzumaki

From the moment you woke up, you've noticed that you've gotten worse from the day before.

"Holy shit, today is going to be a rough day." You thought, closing your eyes tightly.

So yes, you decided you wouldn't go to school today, you don't have the strength for that

You snuggled into bed again to spend your depressing day in bed, when you heard your cell.

You sighed and reached over to answer the phone without reading the name.

"Are you ready yet? I'm coming to get you." Your boyfriend's excited voice came on the other end of the line making you want to cry, he was your ray of sunshine.

"I'm not going to school today."

"Why not? Are you sick?"

"I just... I can't."

With just that sentence, Naruto stops walking on the sidewalk and understands everything.

He had already noticed signs of your a few days ago.

I think she finally closed in on the edge. Naruto thought

"Well then, it looks like we'll be skipping class today."

"What? Naruto no-"

It was too late.

After almost an hour you hear someone knocking on your door and when you open it, you see your boyfriend full of bags and with an affectionate smile on his face.

He drops them on the floor and pulls you into a bear hug.

"My baby won't go through this alone."

Sasuke Uchira

Sasuke noticed that you weren't well from the moment he picked you up from your house, but decided not to pressure you.

He made it his mission to get you at least one smile.

He sat in the seat behind you during every class, so he could write little letters on his notebook paper, and deliver it to you without the teachers noticing.

"You look beautiful today, even with that tired face"

"Look, I think Naruto is going to drool on the table."

Those were some of the cards.

And Naruto was really about to drool if you ask me lol.

During the break, Sasuke took your hand and intertwined your fingers with his, and winked at you with a soft smile, showing that he was there all along.

As you sat in the cafeteria, Naruto sat between the two of you, making Sasuke put on the funniest disgusted expression you've ever seen.

You smiled slightly, and Sasuke felt like a sun had risen in his head.

"Holy shit, what a beautiful thing" He thought.

"Sooo what are we going to do today?"

"Get out Naruto!"

Yes, seeing these two arguing is something we are all used to.

Skikamaru Nara

Shikamaru loves silence and everyone knows.

Turns out he doesn't like YOUR silence.

He loves to hear you just talk about his day, or tell him a bad joke, he just wants to hear your voice.

He looks at you sitting on the grass next to him in silence from the moment he arrived.

There was something wrong, and he needs to do something.

"Do you want to talk about that?"

"I'm not sure..."

He approaches you and you lean your head on his shoulder.

He leans his head on top of his and sighs.

"You're too precious for this world, you know?"

So during the afternoon you all sit there in silence, until he starts to feel his shoulder getting wet.

You're crying right now and as much as it hurts him, he knows you need it.

"I'm fine here love, it's okay."

Kiba Inuzuka

"You're not fine are you?"

It's the first thing he says to you as soon as you open the door.

"I'm here my love" He hugs you tight and you cry into his chest.

He brought Akamaru with him because he knows how much you like each other.

"Want to do something? we can just sleep too if you want"

He sits you on the bed and takes your face with both hands kissing your forehead, cheeks and finally your mouth.

"You're amazing okay? Let's get through this together."

Yeah, this had been a shit week, but you had Kiba Inuzuka with you so that was fine.

Neji Hyuuga

Neji is a very observant guy, so just from your walk he knew you weren't doing well.

"I get it, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

He gives you a kiss on the forehead and a peck on the mouth.

So all day he spoiled you in every way possible, buying you ice cream and carrying you on his back.

"Fuck leave her alone!" He would tell anyone who came close wanting to talk to you.

"I feel useless Neji."

That phrase took him by surprise.

"Hey! Don't you dare say that about yourself never listening again?"

He hugs you tight and lets you cry into his chest.

He doesn't want you to go through this alone because your pain is his pain.

Itachi Uchiha

"Why didn't you tell me you were at your limit my love?".

"I didn't mean to bother you..."

"You never could, come here let me take care of you"

So all day he made nice things for you to eat, since he knew you preferred his food.

He also combed your hair with all the care and love in the world.

Not to mention he watched all your favorite shows and cartoons with you.

And still listened to all your outburst with attention and affection in the eyes.

"I know things are tough right now, but please don't forget I'm with you."

────────────────────

[ellawrites-if]

Chapter One Snippet:

Note: unedited as always lol.

Carter shakes your hand and grins. His teeth are so bleached, you’re honestly surprised that you can’t see through them.

“You know, I’d say that you’ve been avoiding me, Colonel,” he drawls.

You laugh like Carter has said the funniest thing you've ever heard and Killian shoots you a fierce warning look that you rather cheerfully ignore.

"You know, it is astounding to me that someone of your room temperature IQ could actually figure out that I'm avoiding them."

Carter blinks rapidly for a few seconds, proving your point about the IQ, before his face blooms ruddy in anger. Killian immediately steps in as the mediator.

"I apologise for the colonel, their sense of humour is an acquired taste," they start steering Carter away from you, talking the man's ear off and sufficiently confusing him enough that he completely forgets to be angry at you.

Carter's assistant, whose name you never bothered to learn however, is much sharper than their boss. Although, not by much. Slightly above room temperature you'd gander. They push their glasses up and turn that steely gaze on you.

"I weep for the state of humanity if you're the best we have to offer."

The smirk never leaves your face even as, on the inside, you want to...

[[Punch them in the face. Who the hell do they think they are?]]

[[Lash out. What exactly are they doing for the sake of humanity?]]

[[Laugh in their face. Carter's personal ass licker is looking down their nose at you? Priceless.]]

[[Cry. It's strange, but those words just hit far too close to home.]]

[[Internalise everything. Put on a totally blank expression and just watch them squirm.]]

[[You have no desire to react. The opinion of a glorified babysitter is worthless to you.]]

*Flavour text from above choice.*

Instead, you simply ask them a question.

"Are you okay?" Mock sympathy coats your tone.

They shift on their feet and clear their throat, before nodding sharply. "Of course. Why?"

You shrug, "just figured that someone as full of shit as you should probably see a doctor."

Before they can utter a word in response, you turn around and walk away, whistling for Dog to come to heel.

You'll probably have a complaint put in against you, but you'll also probably be violently killed by a Kaiju soon, so that's honestly the least of your worries right now.

[natchla]

My Favorite BL Dramas of 2023

happy new year to everyone who uses the gregorian calendar. we had so much good content come out this year. i'm gonna list my favs. please remember these are my personal faves and may be objectively terrible. do not be alarmed.

My Beautiful Man S2 and Movie

If you ask me this series is one of the best bls of all time. idc idc. im a hira and kiyoi girlie through and through. how many bl's do you know with 2 seasons and an original movie. not those repackaged ones that they try to hand feed us. an actual movie with a plot???? the bar is on the floor clearly. but hira and kiyoi are gonna surpass that bar every. single. time.

Love Tractor

I didn't hear enough people screaming about Love Tractor. crickets tbh. Which is blasphemous in my opinion. How could you be quiet when this lovely bumbling himbo with the dopiest grin is on your screen? look at him!!

Eighth Sense

10's across the board. No question. No notes.

this scene^ BROKE me

Our Dining Table

Ok hear me out. I didn't think this was the best bl in the world BUT it was so wholesome that it deserves a spot. top tier comfort show. It got me through many bad days. Admittedly, there were a few times I purposely put it on bc i knew it would put me to sleep. please don't jump me.

Unintentional Love Story

Now...I'm not a huge kbl person. However, this was really nice. Had a solid plot. I don't remember much abt it but I know there was pottery and I had a good time

Only Friends

This was culture. This was a movement. I will never forgive them for how they treated Boston. Even still, I was there every week ready for the chaos. I had the time of my life.

Bed Friend

It's hard to believe this came out this year. Like ??? But really that shows how much I've established this show as a classic in my mind. BED FRIEND? UEA? baddest bitch in the land?? KING? greenest flag out there???? (debatable but for the sake of my argument lets pretend). It had every element. good plot, great visuals, a little heat. like come on who else is doing it like them?

i just know if me and uea were ever in the same room he would judge me so much

Dangerous Romance

I've seen mixed reviews on this one but I had a fun time. Kanghan is a prissy little spoiled brat, but he's my prissy little spoiled brat. I loved their story progression. Which is saying a lot for me bc I don't like enemies to lovers. like why are we fighting? also "i'm an introvert" is the funniest shit i've heard all year.

La Pluie

this was so shockingly good i wish it got more attention. iqiyi in general really did their big one this year. when it rains you can only hear your soulmate? love!

Laws of Attraction

this was a rollercoaster. i started watching ironically because i thought it would be terrible when i saw the mc go super saiyan. that shit is still hilarious idc.

Love Syndrome III

Now before we start throwing tomatoes...let's hear me out. Nothing has caught my attention this year the way this series did. This was another series I was watching ironically until suddenly i wasn't. It's also just so funny that they released the third one without dropping a first or second. but bad bitches don't need to explain themselves. and YES love syndrome is a bad bitch. let's stop acting like we watch bl's solely for the quality. i don't need marvel cgi to have a good time. sometimes a dollar store wig and the most toxic couple you've ever seen is enough to make some shit shake. if this was released during the tharntype era??? oh bitches would've ate it up. HAPPILY. rant over.

Last Twilight

it's good man. what more can i say? i hope it doesn't disappoint me in the end.

Pit Babe

i'm very pleased. very much so. i know alot of folks went into this show expecting a little teehee. to laugh at the omegaverse racecar show. NOT ME. i've waited for this moment. and anyone who's seen me screaming in the tag can attest. this is a game changer. not just for bl but the fandom community at large. and don't even get me started on their chemistry. babe's smile whenever he's around charlie?? mama and papa?? MAMA AND FUCKING PAPA?? we deserve this and i will bask in it for as long as I can. jeff had better be pregnant by the end of the show.

^ that’s his charlie smile 🥲

[mo0nlyte]

(This is something that happened, so I'm making a story, just imagine phones exist back then for the sake of this story)

Imagine you are on your phone on Pinterest, you found it fun, why?

Organizing, making cute and or deranged unsettling (Possibly ones about cannibalism people think are "AeStHeTiC!1! 😍🤪", you always did question which ones where and weren't actual cannibals..) moodboards.

Look, ya are quite lonely, and your brothers aren't always fun.

Actually you're in the barn hiding from your chores at the moment. You really didn't want to clean up all those knives :(

You like to keep random things, your room is FULL of stuff you've found around the farm. You got a lot of your personality from the twins, and Bubba. You spent most of your time with them.

..or stuff you've taken but that's besides the point!

You had bottles from 1947, your oldest glass bottle is from 1937! You also have old pins, which you and your brother Chop-Top do have a rivalry over who has the coolest.. Nubbins is the mediator, saying usually something along the lines of "Ya both tied, they are both equally cool." In reality he just can't choose who he likes more sometimes

You were on your phone, you heard Drayton calling. Oh no. You put it on a hay bale and immediately jump down from the hayloft. It's.. big but you fuck around and find out too often and have quite a high pain and heat tolerance.

"(Insert your full legal name), Get yer ass out here!"

To say your stomach filled with fear was definitely.. an understatement.

What did you do to piss off Drayton now? No idea but you went to go see what he needed. Hoping you weren't in for a beating on the head or back, why? He didn't whip you, he smacked your back so hard with a broom you heard a CRUNCH. Yes, you were fine. Well mostly, definitely traumatized a wee bit.

——————————————————————————

Meanwhile, guess who also had chores in the barn! The twins!

Guess who didn't lock, sign out, and brick their phone? You!!

Immediately they are nosey. What's their precious little-

..They didn't find porn, or anything like that.

Nah they just found the Spotify account, the notepad, which you definitely had a few issues. Specifically anger issues, you had some notepads you had to take 5 minutes to scroll through bottom too.

Your Pinterest was full of weird stuff. Odd animal pictures that look weirdly funny and distorted? Funny lil cannibalism boards, memes, a mountain of memes because you are either chronically yeehaw or chronically online, take that as you will.

They found a few moodboards about them, about our(? Your? Their? Ya get the point) Brother Drayton. Honestly it matched his personality.

Bubba's was cute and full of taxidermied roadkill, you had made both of theirs earlier, and rearranged it perfectly.

Then they found theirs.

When Nubbins saw it, you even had a picture of his knife and camera almost exactly, how cool!

You had Chop-Top's favorite band, maybe you do listen!

Then Chop-Top started hysterically laughing.

"W-w-what? What's s-so funny?"

Chop-Top gladly pointed it out.

Nubbins couldn't tell if he should laugh, cry, be offended, or plot your murder.

Meanwhile Chop-Top is dying (almost literally) of laughter. "That is the funniest shit I've ever seen her do, that takes the meat!" (You guys often don't say "take the cake", but "take the meat" as a joke.)

Fun fact, nobody actually went to school.. you guys were all homeschooled by big bro dray.

Chop-Top calmed his twin down after a while, still looking through the board, you had found many things you thought they would, it did like. You got almost everything right.

They are definitely plotting how they both can get you back tho.

——————————————————————————

No, Drayton wasn't too pissed off. You just forgot to tell him where you were, and scared the ever-loving shit out of this poor man.

Once you got back to the barn, you climbed to the hayloft.. and noticed your phone was moved. You immediately went through it, but surprisingly nothing was out of the ordinary.. except your notepad had a new note.

"you'll end up worse<3"

Cheeky little bi-

You silently live in fear waiting for what prank they'll do next :(

[kristencochefski1125]

Assistant, or More? || Travis Kelce

Somehow some way, you landed the job of being Travis's personal assistant. You've been at this for three months now and this is probably the first time you're going out with him to a specific event and meeting a lot of his teammates.

You were at your house getting ready and on facetime with your best friend. "You mean to tell me, you've been hiding for three months that you're THE Travis Kelce's assistant?!" You rolled your eyes at her. "Yeah, I really didn't want to tell anyone cause I know I would have gotten that same reaction from anyone."

Just as she was about to say something, your doorbell rang. "Oh is that him?" Your best friend asked as you exited your room. "It shouldn't be, he's early if it is."

Just then you opened the door and there stood Travis. "You're early." You said letting him into your apartment. "I know, I like to be early. Sorry." He said as you shut the door.

"That's fine, I need your help with what I'm wearing Mr. Fashionista." You said as he followed you to your room. "Ugh you watched that episode?" He said as he sat on your bed. "Your damn right I did."

"That was the funniest shit ever." Your best friend said over the phone, you completely forgot she was even on the phone. "Who was that?" Travis asked as he got up and came into the bathroom with you while you were fixing your hair.

"Travis meet my best friend. Best friend, this is Travis." He took the phone from the counter and went back to sit on the bed and chatted with her.

While you were doing your makeup, you could overhear part of their conversation. "Have you tried to date her yet? She's a great catch." Leave it to your best friend to try and get you to date your employer.

"I mean, she's stunning. I have been trying to get her to come to events with me and what not as my date, but she always says no. She just makes sure I look good and get to where I need to be on time."

You were taken back by what Travis said. You're stunning? I mean, he's not bad to look at either, but like he's never told you this. Yeah, the two of you flirt and what not but never have you ever done more than that.

You tuned them out, thinking about Travis calling you stunning. You exited the bathroom and Travis handed you your phone back. "How was your conversation?" You asked as you walked into your closet to get dressed.

"It was good, she's hilarious. I would love to meet her one day." "I think I can make that happen."

"She also thinks that we should date." You laughed as you came back out into the bedroom with your dress on and heels in hand. "Holy- wow." Travis said as he looked at you.

"You like?" You said as you did a little twirl to give him the full effect after you put your heels on. "Like? More like love."

"I heard you call me stunning after she asked you if you would date me." He smiled and got off the bed and pulled me closer to him to where your hands were resting on his chest.

"I mean looking at you now, there are no words to describe how truly beautiful you are, inside and out." Your heart swelled at his words and you smiled up at him.

"If it makes you feel any better, the feeling is mutual, you're not so bad to look at yourself. You're quite the catch Mr. Kelce."

"Mr. Kelce? Hm, now that's something I could get used to." He said as his hands wandered down from your waist to your ass and gave it a little squeeze.

"Hm, Mr. Kelce, you do you know you're my boss right? It's highly inappropriate for you to be touching my ass now don't you think?" You asked looking up at him with a smirk on your face.

"Baby girl, I can tell you to do whatever I want and you're going to do it alright?" He said leaning down and capturing your lips with his. Your hands went up and wrapped around his neck, playing with the hair at the end.

His hands went from your ass to your thighs lifting you up with ease as he walked over to your bed and laid you down on it and broke away from the kiss and rested his forehead on yours.

"What happened to just being your assistant?" You asked out of breath. "Baby girl, you are way more than just my assistant. You have invaded every single thought of mine, I need you."

"I'm all yours Travis, I'm all yours."

[hoverboards-and-dragons]

Do you think God approves of Lilith and/or Eve?

God hates Lilith and it's personal and petty, she's also the only person He treats as an equal because of this

He understands the happiness she brings His fledgling and is glad he has at least her down there, He is still pissed she stole His Morningstar

Lilith considers herself a God, (not in the self veneration way in the "God is a made up term used to justify power and complete obedience when there's no other reasoning", trying to depower the term not empower herself) He rather enjoys her wit and genuine attempts to see things from His perspective while still condemning her blasphemy as a grievous offence

He recognizes how impressive an achievement Lilith is in how she far surpassed what was intended in her Creation and how far she has risen as a human, He still views her as unquestionably a mistake because she was not suppose to be more

If Lucifer was in danger they would agree to team up for his sake and would have the funniest fucking in-law banter you've ever heard

He's a complicated being of many multitudes is what I'm saying

He's entirely neutral on Eve, shes served her purpose and He's moved on, she can go do whatever now, she's just another human who made a bad decision one time to Him, like all of them

if Luci wants another girlfriend sure whatever may as well at this point

Eve kinda wants to kill Him with a rock over this attitude after all the shit He put her through although she isn't as intense as Lilith "the concept of Divinity must be entirely dismantled if Humanity is to truly thrive" Morningstar

[copperbadge]

Hey, Sam, I just received the omnibus from Lulu and, uh, got something a little different than I expected--not the Shivadh books! Harry Potter fic, in fact, but also not yours! I am the unexpected recipient of the entire All the Young Dudes series by MsKingBean89, whoever that is! All dressed up in your dust jacket/binding. I'm letting Lulu know, but I wanted to warn you just in case this wasn't a one-off problem. The fact that it was Sirius/Remus fic but *not yours* made it extra weird.

This is amazing. It took me like an hour to even get my thoughts in order about this.

Before I do anything else, just gonna tag @lobsterbang in this; that's MsKingBean89's tumblr and while I understand she's not on here very often if she does see this hopefully it will amuse her as much as it does me. :D

So, one, if anyone else has encountered this or similar issues, PLEASE report it to Lulu and get your book replaced, these hardbacks are too expensive for this kind of nonsense. On that note, @joycesully I hope they send you a new copy and let you keep the book you've got, because that's hilarious. If they give you flak, please let me know.

Two, did the dust jacket like...fit the book? Because the number of coincidences that would have to happen for you to receive All The Young Dudes in place of the Shivadh Omnibus are numerous. But they BEGIN with "Are they roughly the same size because the omnibus is a giant doorstop." If it's formatted with page numbering, how many pages is the print copy of ATYD, around 600 or so? Is it printed to the size of the Omnibus but with a bunch of blank pages or anything like that? (More on why I ask this in a moment.) Is the dust jacket offset weirdly in any way, like is the spine title not centered on the spine?

Three, I have had this issue with Lulu before. Most notably, the time I ordered a bunch of copies of Charitable Getting and instead got 25 copies of Chicks Dig Guys That Cook, a cookbook by a guy who cooks (and presumably either gets laid a lot or lies about getting laid a lot). But also I once custom-made a hardback copy of Nameless by request, and the book came with a) the Nameless dust jacket, b) the text of Nameless inside it, c) AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT TITLE printed on the spine. How? Who knows.

Four: So there are a couple of ways this could have happened. I'm not sure of the legality of uploading a fanfic to Lulu for printing, but I do know that Lulu doesn't give a shit and won't check, so whether it's legal it is possible to upload a fanfic to Lulu and have them send you a nice hardbound copy of it. Almost certainly nothing will happen as long as you're not selling copies publicly. This is clearly how Lulu got the presumably typeset and formatted file for ATYD. Now, the easiest way this could have happened, since they're not alphabetically close, is if I had uploaded a copy of ATYD and the files got crossed when they printed your copy of The Shivadh Omnibus. I didn't do this; I don't keep paper copies of fanfics and while I've heard ATYD is great, I haven't read it.

The funniest part of all of this, sidebar, is that ATYD is not just a Remus/Sirius fanfic, it's one of the top R/S fanfics ever, possibly one of the most famous fanfics in recent history. It's frequently recommended alongside Stealing Harry as a must-read classic (it's undoubtedly recommended more than Stealing Harry, but they often pop up together). So you didn't just get a random HP fanfic that isn't mine, you got the direct spiritual successor to Stealing Harry.

Anyway, I didn't upload it, but it's possible that someone else was like "Well, as long as I'm going to buy the ominbus, why don't I print myself my favorite fanfic as a book?" The most likely explanation is that someone did this and their order went in around the time yours did, and somehow you got their copy shoved into your dust jacket, while they presumably got two copies of the Omnibus instead of one Omnibus and one ATYD. That's why I'm curious about the dust jacket, because they would have to be similar in size for this mistake to take place. (If one of you out there ordered ATYD and got two Omnibi instead, I'd love to hear from you, feel free to get in touch, I promise not to narc to anyone.)

If that's not the case, it's a series of truly baffling coincidences; someone must have uploaded ATYD, and either the manuscript file got crossed with the Shivadh Omnibus file randomly and that fic got printed inside the covers of my book, or a copy of ATYD was printed around the same time a copy of the Shivadh Omnibus was by coincidence, and their jackets randomly got swapped. The odds of an extremely famous fanfic getting digitally swapped with a non-fanfic by the author of a similarly situated but entirely unaffiliated fanfic are pretty low if there wasn't a third person in the mix somewhere, ordering both at the same time.

I just. For you to order a non-fanfic book by a well-known HP fanfic author, and receive someone else's extremely well-known HP fanfic instead, is fucking bananas. I don't know what to do with that. I feel like I should apply for a job at whatever press Lulu uses to print their books because some of the nonsense they pull behind the scenes is fascinating.