#is the writing actually bad or were you expecting a completely different genre than what's listed?

[coockie8]

why are so many of your ocs super overpowered though??

Ever since I was a really little kid, I've been very frustrated with the fact we invented all these super awesome powers and concepts for story telling purposes, but then, somewhere down the line, decided we actually aren't allowed to use like any of them because it's "bad story telling", or some other such nonsense.

Like, no, if I wanna write an impervious, God-like character with a cheeky personality and barely addressed flaws that everyone loves, then I damn well will, and if you have a problem with that, then clearly you are not the target audience.

Not everything is for everyone, and some of you people seriously need to learn to make your peace with that.

[kth1fics]

Twisted Fate (M) | MYG

Twisted Fate

⟶ Pairing: Min Yoongi x Female Reader (Y/N) ⟶ Genre: Oneshot, Smut, Rated R | 18+ ⟶ Tropes: Vampire!Yoongi, Strangers to Lovers, Royalty AU, Supernatural AU, Fantasy AU ⟶ WC: 4.7k+ ⟶ Warnings: blood (obviously), some degrading, biting / blood drinking, breast play, choking, sparkling jealousy, unprotected sex, there’s a third party at play, some bondage, fingering, oral (f), threats, reader has a nickname. ⟶ Beta: n/a (no beta just complete yolo - if it doesn't make sense don't worry about it) ⟶ Summary: A slice of vampiric lifestyle here inside the Briarwood Manor walls after you ultimately picked the Lord you wish to serve. ⟶ Author’s Note: I actually feel very bad that most of all my hosted collaborations are incomplete. It happens though, ya know? This Yoongi is a part of the Briarwood Manor Collab, hosted by myself! I never expected to be writing this fic, honestly. But I hope it does well and is good enough! Please leave any feedback or comments on a reblog, post, or even my ask box! ⟶ Song Recommendation: Sweet Sacrifice by Evanescence

Masterlist ◈ Mail Box ◈ AO3 ◈ Ko-Fi

“Hello, puppet, did you miss me?”

The low mischievous voice whispers a chill in your ear. His cold hand comes to rest on your bare shoulder, stroking your soft skin. If anyone were to see they’d think his touch is sincere and tender, a loving gesture to greet his lover, but they’d be so very wrong. 

A puppet is what you are to him, nothing more. To serve however he sees fit. The nickname is quick out of his mouth the moment you pick him under the shine of a blood moon. You aren’t so sure what drew you to him in the first place. Maybe his aura played a trick on you, taunted you with his beauty and looks. An elegant and stoic composure mixed in one. The most unresponsive to the personal sacrifice (you) during the ritual.

You still remember the lifeless blink of his eyes when he first looked at you. From there you should have known he didn’t see the life inside of you. The vampire whose fangs ghost over your neck and haunt your nights is far from a lover. He’s an obligation. A duty. The choice you were forced to make among the six other princes.

Some nights you question what would have been if you picked someone different. How would the others treat their Church’s generous gift? Would you be more than a puppet?

His hand sends a visible chill through you. The sickly sweet voice of Lord Yoongi that you dread has returned after weeks away. There’s no doubt in your mind that there’s a toothy-grin widening on his face when he inhales your scent. You were just starting to enjoy that temporary freedom from his demanding fangs. Oh, how you wish he was gone just a while longer.

Yoongi had been away visiting a nearby kingdom to the West for business. Both Lord Namjoon and Lord Hoseok accompanied him. You know very little of their endeavors. Council work if anything. Matters that a blood-bag, such as yourself, has no business knowing. You are thankful for the pleasant peace of the manor while you had it.

You remain quiet, but your heart pounds in your chest. Anyone in an earshot can probably hear it pumping through your veins. Yoongi sends a full attack to your nervous system and he hardly touches you.

“Let’s pretend that’s excitement,” he comments as a nimble finger runs along your neck.

“H-How was the trip?” You ignore his first question completely. Faking a soft smile to please him.

“Nonsense,” he mutters as his mouth hovers the crook of your next. Your body already expects the snag of his teeth any second now. “Take off that pathetic excuse of a dress the servants dressed you in. I want you in my quarters. Now,” Yoongi whispers with demand.

You feel that there’s no room for objections, you’ve learned the hard way once or twice before. Disobeying Yoongi only makes things harder for you.

The first step you take halts as you feel his hand tug at the lace to your bodice. It snaps easily, loosening the material for an easier escape. Yoongi trails you, watches you with a burning hunger, as one by one you shed your clothes on your way to his room. 

There’s no shame walking down the corridors of the manor, you’ve gotten used to these trips. Seen many others in the same position. It’s the way of life here.

Yoongi’s room is one of the furthest from the grand room. It requires walking the stairs and passing several other spaces before reaching the crystal knob of his door. On occasion, his impatience forces you into the music room where he lays you on the piano lid and does exactly what one can imagine. 

Although, tonight doesn’t feel like one of those nights.

“You haven’t answered me yet,” his voice hums, “did you miss me?”

You don’t loath the man, but you know what he does to you. How you are easily frail compared to him and fear slipping up. The sharpness in his fangs and in his words and the strength in his grip and demeanor. You do not miss his beastly moods when he sucks your blood savagely and brings you to the brink of tears. To where you fall far too weak to put up a fight.

There are no soft sides to Yoongi, not from what you’ve witnessed anyway. When he’s finished with you, you’re sure he’ll do it with no remorse.

You want to answer truthfully. Saying ‘no’ is on the very tip of your tongue. Maybe his absence did make you feel useless in a way. But you also felt relief by being away from the ruthless need of your body. And for that, you feel a tang of guilt. Making you question how you actually feel.

“Yes, my Lord,” you speak sweet yet flat. “Your presence was greatly missed.”

Finally, you’re met in the center of his room. The still cool air swallows you as you stand there awaiting his next command. The click to the door shutting behind you resounds out loud. It leaves you trapped inside the vampire’s chamber.

“Of course you did,” he smirks to himself as he slowly undos his cufflinks. His eyes continue to scan you, admiring the shape of your body and nudity. “Go on. Sit.”

You see the nod of his head from your peripheral as you stare blankly at the dark silk comforter. A canopy hangs from the ceiling above, draping thick charcoal black curtains. There’s a litter of candles scattered throughout, none of which are lit. You’re granted very little light from the cascading moon from outside the tall paneled windows. It’s darker than usual due to the storm clouds. 

Everyday his chamber is cleaned and dusted even when left unoccupied. Yoongi likes his stuff maintained, presetine if he could. If one thing is out of alignment he will notice it. They have workers for several reasons, many for pure enjoyment and food.

As you take a seat on the side of the bed, Yoongi hovers. He stands close, taking your chin in his hand and tilting your head up to look at him. His grip is menacing, you’re aware of how easily a man with his strength can break your bones.

“Whore,” he comments as he looks down on you.

His voice cuts through you like a knife. Clear and loud. He watches the way your eyes flicker in shock and widen. Heat plasters to your face as his grip tightens.

“Do you think I don’t know?” He huffed a laugh. “Why don’t you tell me what I'm speaking about?”

“Y-Yoongi I –”

He slips a finger into your mouth, pressing down on your tongue to prevent you from forming any more words.

“Take my name out of your dirty mouth or I'll do it for you,” he threatens.

“I’m sorry!,” you attempt to say out of pure reaction. 

Yoongi leans in flashing you a smile, revealing his sharpened canines. His eyes turn a blazing ruby red, popping out of his stark black hair.

“I’ll release your tongue and when the second I do, I expect you to tell me.”

He waits for your acknowledgement before his fingers find their way back to cradling your chin.

“Lord Jimin,” the name falls out of your mouth just as your eyes fall to the ground. “I didn’t know what I was supposed to do,” you fester up.

How could you? With no guidance from the Lord you picked. He left you at the manor with very little discussion. There’s unspoken rules you’re still learning to this day. How are you supposed to know what Lord Yoongi wants when he doesn’t speak the words into existence?

“You’re not his,” Yoongi states. He rests one knee on the edge of the bed beside you. His other hand traces up your arm lightly all the way to the back of your neck. With his position, he brings your head back up to look at him. “I don’t care what he says. You picked me.”

“He would have killed me if I denied his advances,” you mention. Confusion and panic swells deeply in your eyes. “He only just –”

Yoongi snorts, displeased beyond belief. “He wouldn’t unless he wanted a war. He knows you belong to me and took the opportunity to take you when I was gone.”

“–Just bit me!,” you managed to get out.

“Hm?” Yoongi’s eyebrow quirks.

“He only just bit me. I swear there is nothing more!”

You plead with your eyes. You’ve never wanted to upset him in any way. The role you play is one you take seriously. If you were murdered by a fellow ally of your Lord, that would have madden him further, no?

Yoongi’s touch turns featherlight, nothing compared to how he touches you when he lays with you. Rough and demanding. Guiding you exactly how and when he wants it. It’s what you’re expecting from him.

He leans down close, slotting his head next to your neck as he breathes in your scent. “I’ll keep you locked up in my room.” Yoongi’s lips touch against your skin, you can’t help but shiver. “Spread your legs.”

Yoongi’s cool fingers ghost your core, leaving traces as they pass each inch. You feel the threat of his fangs against you, making your body heat up quickly. It is safe to say that you do miss the way he touches you. Feeling his grip all over your body, it brings you to places you’ve never – and will never – admit.

“But I'll have no property of mine” – he continues with his earlier words – “be shared like a whore on the street.”

You politely move your head to the side with his hand as direction, bracing for the impact of his teeth. They lightly drag along your jugular until he finds his desired spot before sinking them into your skin.

The feeling hurts like a razor sharp sting as you release a groan. Yoongi’s hand secures you in place as the other presses against your heated core. His fingers slip between your folds, gliding them across your clit and into your pussy. Drawing out the wetness he searches for.

There’s a trickle of blood that breaks through the seam of Yoongi’s lips, dripping down the front of your chest. He’s sloppy, unusual for him. Probably from the weeks away. You stay stagnant, letting Yoongi do as he pleases.

“Lay back,” Yoongi pushes you down before you feel his lips pressing kisses on your thighs. He continues to press two fingers into you while he reaches for your nipple, swirling around the hardening bud.

You close your eyes as you let out a shuddering breath. Your entire body is warming up, aching silently for more. Maybe he misses you?

“Do you want me to touch you more?” The voice is so low you can barely hear it over the heavy rain outside. When his touch does everything to ignite that burning sensation inside, how can you not want more?

“Yes,” you whimper when another kiss lands on your inner thigh. You feel your pussy tighten from the want, the need.

“Yes?” He questions, as his fingers pinch down hard on your nipple. It sends bolting zaps of pain through you, making you yelp at the action.

You feel his plunging fingers curl up inside you and drag against your walls. Your legs move on their own accord, body only reacting to the joyous sensation.

“Oh God, yes! Please touch me!” You plead.

Once your desperate words leave your mouth, he latches onto your clit, sucking the sweet tender bud eagerly. He pairs it well with the pace of his fingers in your aching core, possessive hand roaming your front as his body slots between your legs.

Your curious eyes travel downward to spy Yoongi’s black hair nuzzled between your thighs and feverishly licking at your leaking arousal. It takes everything in you to not place your hands in his hair, you know he doesn’t like being touched. But it looks so soft, so long and pretty. 

“I don’t want you to ever think about being bitten by anyone else,” he growls. “Your blood is mine and mine only.” You feel your leg being lifted enough for Yoongi’s fangs to pierce the skin on your inner thigh.

His words and actions make you whimper. Yoongi’s tongue laps over the bleeding blood on your skin.

“I won’t,” you affirm as you toss your head to the side. Absentmindedly your fingers thread through his hair, it feels like the finest of silks. “I only want you to bite me, Lord Yoongi.”

Your confession pleases him. He replaces his fingers with his tongue, diving it deep into your leaking hole. A moan slips from your mouth while your fingers fasten a lock in his hair. Lewd noises spill into the air from the vampire sucking and licking at your core, devouring the taste of you.

Doing what he says always grants you intense pleasure. Being good tends to satisfy you, you realized that a long time ago. Once Yoongi draws you agonizingly close to a climax, he withdraws his pursuit. Leaving you in a cloud of haze.

‘Is that it?’ you think to yourself. Why the sudden stop? Did you do something wrong?

Yoongi reluctantly pulls from you, forcing your hands off his hair with a sinister smile. Blood and arousal is smeared across his mouth and chin.

“What’s wrong?” you whisper the question.

You’re left huffing and puffing as you feel your orgasm slipping away from you. His menacing stare down doesn’t ease your mind and you feel your body shriveling up from under his scorching red eyes.

“Time to learn your lesson.”

Yoongi manages to pull your body up the bed to the headboard. Fastening two hard metal cuffs to each of your wrists. You’ve been here once before in a playful gig, but the motivation behind Yoongi’s tone sends a shiver to your spine.

You obey, as you should, while the darkness of the drapes shroud around the bed. You’re left with red glowing eyes staring straight down at you once again. His ethereal features, as beautiful as they are, frighten you to say the least. There's anger swirling inside of him. The angel you view Yoongi at shows how the cut of his eyes are deadly, the shape of his jaw is sharp and the curve of his lips stands against the casted shadows of the dark. You feel the anxious fear bubbling up inside your body, a spike of nerves setting aflame.

“What?”

He can read you like a book. Heart pinging higher than the normal rate. A confused quirk of your brows. Even the clearing of your throat and desperate breaths have him understanding your senses. Your body language tells him everything he needs to know about your fear.

“Brianne!” Yoongi snaps his fingers together as he calls upon a servant.

On cue, the door to his room opens and closes. She walks as punctually as ever, hands clasped in front of her apron as she curtsy bows to the vampire.

“My Lord,” she smiles. Paying you no mind as you lay naked and latched to Yoongi’s bed. “How may I aid you?”

“My puppet here is in need of a lesson. Care to participate?”

“It would be an honor,” Brianna bows.

Unspokenly, she begins to shed her clothes piece by piece. Yoongi hums to himself as he does the same. You are left strapped there, witnessing the entire event in confusion.

It’s as if this has been done before. You watch with worry as Brianne steps out of her skirt and pulls out the ties of her hair, allowing it to cascade around her shoulders. She steps toward the bed, eyes nearly lifeless, as she glances at you. There’s several, very visible, bite wounds on her body.

Quickly, Yoongi meets Brianne from behind. His hands guide her atop the mattress as she kneels near your feet. You curl up further, drawing your legs into yourself as your mind races with endless possibilities of what’s about to happen.

“Puppet?”

You flinch, very noticeably, at the bark of your nickname. You hadn’t realized how on edge your nerves are until now.

Yoongi follows behind Brianne, being sure to peer over her shoulder at you with his ruby eyes. Brianne is displayed before you, legs spread apart as she kneels, tits in full view. Yoongi’s crafty and daft hands sliding across her front and touching every piece of her. It’s a taunting scene, mentally riling you up inside.

“I want you to know,” Yoongi begins with a devilish low growl, “How easy it is,” he pushes aside Brianne’s hair to expose her neck, “For us to take a whore.”

Yoongi latches his mouth down on Brianne, forcing a muffled groan out of her throat. He bites, and bites, and bites, until there’s a chain of red leaking down her shoulder and arm. Some meet the mound of her breast, where Yoongi happily is cupping with his own hand while the other is gliding down her front and rubbing circles on her clit.

You watch in shame and fear. Seeing the way Brianne thrives from the mutilating hands and mouth of the Lord. Pleasure crosses her face, pain and ecstasy. She has no embarrassment with the noises that leak out of her. You swear you see her face mocking yours as you turn away.

“Look at me,” you hear the demanding growl of Yoongi.

But the burning heat of anger tingles your face. You fear disobeying him though. It only can make things worse.

“Puppet!” he growls over Brianne’s moans. Yoongi pushes Brianne down on her hands, her head closer to where you curl up against the headboard. “Look at what I am doing!”

You hesitantly glance over, hating the scene you see. Yoongi’s possessive hands scratch Brianne’s back as he lines himself behind her. There’s blood covering his front, smearing down his chest as his mouth gaps open. You squirm uncomfortably. As much as you loathe what’s happening, how your heart is thumping with disbelief and hatred, it bothers you even more that it turns you on.

Yoongi spits down at the junction between Brianna and himself and lathers his cock with his free hand. He slots himself inside her roughly, pulling out a loud moan from Brianne and forcing tears to swell in your eyes.

“Look at me!” He commands again, and this time you stare at his glowing eyes. 

Locked in and afraid to move. Sure you can see Brianne through the edges of your sight, you can see the way Yoongi’s abs flex with each harsh thrust he inflicts on her, the way her audible noises fill the room just like the way Yoongi’s cock fills her pussy.

He keeps his stare with you, eyes threatening. “How do you feel when I choose someone else? To make them feel this good while I feed and fuck them? Do you think you’re so special to go around and give yourself up like Brianne here?” He grunts between breaths, making sure to give Brianne a good ramming as her hips get pulled back into him. 

Yoongi continues to speak to you, “Do you want to end up like this?” He quizzes you again. He forces Brianne to flip over, revealing all those scattered bite marks on her body including his own. He arches her back by holding a hand under her. You can’t help but to flick your eyes down at it.

There’s a burning rage brewing inside of you, watching the way your Lord takes care of another. Bluntly in front of you as well. You don’t think you’re anything special, just a gift from the Church. There’s no doubt in your mind Yoongi has all the freedom to do what he pleases, but you’re mad that you aren’t the option when you were only raised to be such.

You remain silent and fear stricken. There’s upset and anger on your face and he can see that. Pathetically, you are his. You picked this. But desperately you want to only be his.

“No,” you whimper out. There’s a sad tear that rolls down the curve of your cheek.

“‘No’ what?”

There’s thorns forming inside of your throat, digging into it as if your voice doesn’t have freedom.

“No I don’t want this!”

Yoongi continues to thrust into Brianne, but his attention is on you. His hand closes down on her throat, squeezing slowly to prevent airflow.

“Have you learned?” His fingernails begin digging into Brianne and you hear her noticeable gasp. “That a whore is used by many and can be,” – he squeezes firmer, watching Brianne’s hands clasp around his wrist in protest – “killed with no feeling of guilt?”

There’s a gargle replacing the moans in Brianne’s mouth. Her eyes are bloodshot and full of tears. Yoongi pays no attention, he knows what he’s doing. But he keeps his ruby eyes on you, stalking your next actions.

“Yoongi, stop!” You shout with warning, “She’s going to die!”

“So?” His voice is cold.

“Stop!” you plead. “Stop it, stop it, stop it! I get it! I’m sorry! Just stop it!” Each hopeless syllable falling out of your mouth amplifies higher until you shout.

Yoongi finally halts his actions completely, releasing his grip on poor Brianne and pulling out of her. She gasps as her lungs fill with air, hands clutching her throat. Yoongi rolls her over, letting her legs hit the floor beside the bed and commands her to stand.

He analyzes her, wipes away the wet tears from her face before patting the side of her head. “Gather your things,” he beckons. “Please seek Lord Jimin and tell him you are but a gift from me.”

Brianne attempts a hoarse response but her throat is far too fragile to speak. She quickly gathers her belongings and rushes out of the room, holding her throat with a hand the entire time.

As the room falls silent, you can’t help but stare at the naked vampire in front of you. He’s thin, toned, skin milky pale due to his vampiric complexion and lack of sun. Cock stands out, still hardened as a hand runs along its length.

“Never become a whore, puppet. It’ll get you killed.”

Yoongi turns to look back at you, seeing how shriveled up you’ve become. He knows the power he holds and the loyalty you only wish to fulfill. It’s how you are raised. You want to act on your own actions, but Yoongi is the shotcaller. The owner of you.

“I’m only yours,” you state with a nod. 

Like lightning, Yoongi returns to you. Finger’s dipping into your cunt again. He groans with the seeping wet arousal leaking from you, making sure to comment on how you must have been turned on all along. He pushes deep inside your needy walls, stoking and thrusting his fingers at a quick pace almost as if he wants you to cum right then and there. His tongue works on your clit, swirling delicately around the sensitive bundle of nerves.

The pleasure between your legs causes you to tremble, Yoongi’s name falls out of your mouth as you tug on the cuffs chaining you to the bed. You’re beginning to feel the start of your delayed climax from before. Your breaths become shallow pants while you can’t help but ride Yoongi’s mouth desperately.

Your hazy mind takes away your active awareness and forces you to enjoy the senses you hear, feel, smell, taste, and see. Yoongi works his way up past your navel, peppering kisses on his pursuit to your clavicles. His teeth glide over your skin only enough to scratch you as you whimper from the loss of his tongue.

Somehow you end up on your knees and straddling Yoongi’s pelvis. He flipped you quickly to slide himself under you. The chains twist, forcing your wrists together. His hair fans out around his head as he rests on the pillow, eyes lazily looking up at your hanging breasts. You feel the cold hard hands on your hips as he leads you onto his cock, letting you slide against his length and spread your arousal on him.

You use your arm to muffle your moan as he slips his tip inside of you. The promise of his length inside of you makes you eager so you press down. Letting an inch deeper before he pulls you back up to begin the process again.

Yoongi leans up from under you to latch his mouth on one tit, sucking harshly at your nipple before sinking his fangs enough to draw blood. The sting hurts, you whine on the impact as he simultaneously draws your hips down onto him. Stuffing his thick cock inside your tight cunt.

You want to lean on him for support but those blasted chains hold your position high. In reaction, you bite your own arm as you feel the way Yoongi fills you up and feeds on you. The joyous satisfaction you gain from pleasing the Lord is soon to follow.

Yeah, there is no way you wish to be a whore. Yoongi is more than enough.

“You like it. Don’t you, puppet?” Yoongi chuckles. He pulls on your hair sharply, twisting your head to the side to admire his earlier bite mark. “You like being my little puppet and filled up like this, huh?” Yoongi grinds his hips into you, his other hand firmly guiding your body to ride him.

You’re left breathless, painfully in pleasure, but fully enjoying being filled to the brim by his cock. The recklessness of his grip on your hair and bleeding from his beautiful bites. It’s so devilishly good, you could never wish to be anything more than his puppet. 

“Ah, please,” you groan. The sound of skin against skin resonates throughout the darkened room. It’s mingled with your beautiful cries and his low guttural grunts. 

“I love it,” you confess.

You don’t ever want to be used to getting filled so well. You don’t want to be curious about the other princes and how they would treat you. Something about Yoongi is exactly what you need, you just never knew before. Is the lesson supposed to make you have this realization?

Yoongi releases a low groan against your skin, murmuring, “you feel so fucking good. You taste so fucking good.”

Once again, Yoongi sinks his teeth in you. The pain draws you closer to your impending orgasm and you yelp outloud. 

His thrusts become even more determined. Your chest arches into him as you tug on the cuffs that limit your hand movement. The noise from the headboard thuds rhythmically against the wall as your cunt clenches.

“Cum on me,” you hear the words tickle your ears. Yoongi’s hand wraps around your head and leads you into a bloody, searing kiss. He hushes your moans as his tongue dives past your teeth.

Metabolic tasting liquid seeps into your taste buds but you aren’t focused on the flavor. The cradling hand on your cheek and gentle soft strokes of his fingers on your hips are. The deepened kiss, full of lust and passion, sends you to overdrive as you whimper through your crashing orgasm.

Your legs shake against his sides in the same pace of your walls gripping his cock. Your blood trickles down on Yoongi’s chest as you ride out the waves of pleasure. Wet squelching sounds happen at the intersection between you and him as his thumb runs circles against your clit.

You feel your eyes fluttering shut as you groan. Your rolling orgasm kicks your body into realizing how much strain it’s handling. The harsh mixture of pain and pleasure. Your body is beginning to fall limp, the life and energy inside of you finally hitting their max. You want to collapse but Yoongi continues to thrust into you, perhaps chasing his own high.

“Ah,” you breathe as Yoongi’s mouth detaches from yours. His eyes focus on the mess of arousal on his lap, the way your cunt disappears his cock entirely. There’s a vice grip on your hips now, all you can do now  is be a toy for him.

A puppet, so he’d say.

Your head begins to spin as your vision fades into darkness. The last thing you see is the beautiful features of Yoongi, enjoying full on gratification from your body. Blood covered across his smooth poreless skin and black raven hair. 

moodboard credit: @kth1

© 2024 All rights reserved under @kth1​ - do not copy, repost, modify, edit, or translate any of my work without my direct consent. This TUMBLR and AO3 are the ONLY places my fics are posted.

[avelera]

Ok, I feel like there's three writing concepts that Tumblr needs to get reacquainted with when it comes to understanding fiction:

Catharsis - Sometimes, fiction engages with horrifying, disgusting, painful, or scary concepts in order to bring about a positive experience for the reader. This can be through the hero defeating a disgusting evil, like defeating an abuser for example. One might also get catharsis not out of the defeat of something bad or uncomfortable, but simply from the experience of living it vicariously, such as joy at successfully hiding the body of a murder victim. There are literally countless examples of catharsis in fiction, but most importantly it must be understood, it is completely harmless to real people whether you're experiencing catharsis at something good happening or something bad happening that you get to live vicariously because it is literally fiction. Indeed, there's a lot of evidence that getting to experience catharsis through fiction at evil things, say, living vicariously through a fictional character committing adultery, even if you would never want to cheat on your own partner, actually helps purge the desire to do evil things oneself.

Pleasures of the genre - some genres have expectations that go with them. If you, as a writer, don't include those pleasures, you might turn off the audience. For example, the Western genre has a certain expectation of being set in the 19th c American West. There's usually cowboys and horses involved. If you write a story that's advertised as a "Western" that takes place entirely in a New York City apartment, it might be novel for the genre, but it might also piss off a bunch of readers who were expecting horses. You can do it, obviously, but don't be surprised if readers are confused and perhaps disinterested in the work. More salient to Tumblr perhaps - Marvel believes it is creating action/adventure superhero stories. If a Marvel movie suddenly became a psychological exploration of the internality of a character's relationships, without a single laser beam or fight scene in sight, Marvel expects its audience to be confused and unhappy. We, as fanfic writers and readers might be dying for that story, but that is not the pleasure of the genre that Marvel thinks its audience wants when it walks specifically into a superhero film.

Power Fantasy - this might be one of the most misunderstood or perhaps narrowly applied terms. Yes, sometimes a power fantasy is a 16 year old boy watching a superhero dude with 8 pack abs destroy the bad guy, get the girl, and save the day. Living vicariously through that character is definitely a power fantasy. BUT, a power fantasy can also be fantastical things that the audience wishes would happen in a way that would empower an audience member or make them happy. For example, a billionaire industrialist merchant of death like Tony Stark getting hit by his own weapons and deciding to become a crusader for justice in a way that actually helps normal people is, in fact, an audience power fantasy. We want to believe that if the right bad guy like a billionaire got the right comeuppance like a near-death experience at the hands of their own evils, they'd learn their lesson and become a better person. This is a power fantasy. This is not a thing that actually happens. It's honestly not that different from the power fantasy many gun owners have that if they own a gun, they're more likely to stop a crime in progress with their perfect marksmanship, rather than that they're more likely to kill or be killed by a member of their own family. Understanding the application of power fantasies in terms of good things you hope would happen happening in fiction is not only important for dissecting fiction as an intelligent viewer, it's also important in terms of recognizing when you're being influenced by certain stories and choosing what lesson you take away from it and what lesson (if any) you want to take away from it.

I just feel like these 3 terms are what I see most lacking in a lot of "discourse". Fiction is trying to engender emotion in the audience. Great fiction engenders a wide range of emotions in the viewer, not simply good emotions. Thoughtful fiction might (but not always!) try to impart a lesson. But great fiction can also just want to give you great emotions and make you think outside the usual box of your usual experiences. It's also completely fine for great fiction to just want to give you a great emotion experience like catharsis, or the thrill of a power fantasy. And I really wish these three separate but interrelated concepts were discussed more when it comes to dissecting fiction here on this site.

[saeist]

to my first ── s. itoshi

synopsis: words i'll never get to say. from me, to you, my first genre: childhood lovers(?), mutual pinning, angst? word count: 3.9k warnings: the interactions with sae is basically just memories of the reader? hopefully i can pull off whatever writing style this is. pls bare w/ me!! notes: this is a little personal for me to write. i just felt like i needed to write this out of my system (T—T) i keep having reoccurring dreams about this specific person and i'm going crazy reminiscing what we could've been (i was literally 11 years old) listening to: about you – the 1975 & you were beautiful – day6

as much as you hate to admit it, you do believe in the saying "first love never dies"

first love, 

first love is something you’d describe your relationship with sae itoshi. 

you don’t really remember how it all started. everything seemed hazy to you now. like a long, lost forgotten memory you buried deep inside your mind. you swore you’d never relive those memories, as it felt like reopening an old wound

it's been almost a decade since you both left with unspoken words and feelings but you're sure that you've moved on. you're sure you are. you have moved on long ago when you realized you'll never see him again

it was silly really. it only took you a photo to remember everything about what you had with sae. maybe agreeing to catch up with old distant family friends was a bad decision on your part. apparently catching up with distant family friends also meant looking through old photo albums, reminiscing the good memories

looking back through the years, there were just moments in your life where you thought to yourself that maybe, just maybe everything wouldn’t be as shitty as it was now if you two were still together. times where you wished and prayed that everything was just a dream and as soon as you wake up, you know he’s still there.

with you.

it was in elementary school where you first met sae

among the other kids in your class, you and sae just strangely clicked. except for the times sae just felt the need to comment and insult the way you do things but despite that, there was a strange but comforting feel between the two of you

you've just recently moved to the neighborhood and coincidentally right next to the itoshi's. that meant that you lot would walk home together after school which prompted you and sae to get to know each other a little day by day

surprise was an understatement when sae first asked his mom if you could come over after school. mrs. itoshi was more than delighted that sae actually made friends in school but what she didn't expect was it was you who came over, the new girl next door

sae had felt something different about you and you knew that. he treated you differently than the others. he was more gentle and more light with his words with you. if it was anybody else, he would’ve already lashed out on them calling them prickly names to get under their skin

ironically enough, you two first bonded over minecraft.

“honey, i’m home” sae called out in a bland sing song voice, his player entering the house that you specifically made for the two of you

“what was that about” you giggled, whacking his player with your own

“nothing” sae says quickly placing his minecraft bed next to yours. “c’mon let’s sleep”

maybe you two were just naive as kids, not knowing what the warm feeling in your chests really means

it was the summer of sixth grade when you started to see sae in a completely different light

at this point, you and sae were known as childhood friends and nothing more. over the summers, you hung out with sae less frequently

it was no big deal, though. it was just kids going through personal growth. even if you and sae didn’t hang out like you used to back in elementary school, the family hangouts continued. over the years of you and sae being inseparable, both families had also bonded and formed a close friendship, becoming what one would call family friends.

there was a math training camp that your school holds every year and your dumbass decided to join for the baseless reason that your friends were also joining that same year

in your defense, you only joined because you didn't want to be left out on what they did over the weekends at school. so much that you eventually signed up even if you couldn't be bothered to answer math questionnaires that you don't even understand

however, towards the end of the training camp, you found a completely different reason on why you decided to stay

turns out sae had also signed up (probably because his parents and teachers encouraged him to join after seeing him excel in academics especially in math) for the math training camp

you will never forget the look on sae's face he saw you enter the classroom. he didn't think you were the type to join these type of things. when you catch his stare, you gave him a small wave and sat right next to him — to which he pays no mind, he was busy paying attention to the proctor up front anyway

—

the long day filled with reading different levels of math has come to an end when the proctor leaves the classroom

you let out a sigh of relief, leaning back on the armchair, brain completely fried from exhaustion. what the fuck did those symbols even mean? could you six graders really answer all those questions?

sae snickered beside you, glancing at your exhausted face

"tired already?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. the way he said his words almost felt like he was mocking you but you know he means well

"haha. very funny mr. genius" you laughed obnoxiously, waving him off as you look up at the ceiling

"just saying" sae puts his hands up in mock surrender. you can already see the smirk on his face but for now, you don't fight back. not now. you were too tired to come up with a snarky response

amidst to your small talk, your classmates had began flinging each other's shoes. tomfoolery, as you'd like to call it. how they still have the energy to make fools of themselves like they didn't just go through psychological warfare learning about a whole new world of mathematics hours before is beyond you

you sat up straight, attention now at your friends, “look at them.. what idiots” you commented, stifling a laugh as you watch friends and classmates run around the classroom just minutes after the proctor had left

sae bit back a laugh and nods in agreement. “yep”

you both shared a look before bursting into laughter.

you like to think that was the start of everything. the start of fire you two unknowingly ignited.

you don’t regret attending that damned math training camp your school held that one year. you don’t regret wasting your precious afternoon trying to answer those damn questionnaires that you don’t even understand. you don’t regret sitting next to him that day, 

you don’t.

—

the night after the first day of your school's annual math training camp was never the same ever again

that was the night you and sae began talking online for the first time. after hours, as you'd like to call it. the initial message popped up on your screen, and soon, a stream of text flowed seamlessly between you two

it all started with just a simple 'hello, what are you doing right now?' to discussing basic interests, to different niches you two are into, and before you know it the birds were chirping and the sun was already been up. the quiet of the night had been filled with the soft tapping of your keyboard and controlled laughter, creating a private bubble where your friendship deepened and kept in the digital realm for years to come.

this went on for a good month before you realized that he had became a daily routine to you

despite all of that, it was still pretty hard to believe that you got close with sae again in just a short amount of time. you two were drastically different. you didn’t particularly stood out as you just liked to keep things to yourself and close friends. sae on the other hand, he excelled both in academics and sports. even going as far as taking piano classes during the weekend just because

you like to think that maybe it's just fate, a twist of life’s unpredictability, or maybe it's something deeper that neither of you could yet understand?

who knows?

it was in your homeroom classroom where you felt butterflies for the first time

you two were now freshmen in high school. fresh off middle school, fresh off that summer where you and sae had the whole world in your hands

the transition to high school brought with it a mix of anxiety and anticipation, the new environment buzzing with energy and the promise of new experiences

you and sae were deskmates at the start of the semester. you can't tell if this was on purpose by the teachers or fate was just doing it's thing

up until now, your unlabeled relationship with sae was going steady. just the usual chitchats and banter after school in the comfort of your two homes

you were just sitting beside him, listening to the teacher up ahead when you suddenly feel a hand snake their way on top of yours. the hand quickly intertwined its fingers with yours, and you’ve never felt that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach before

what was that?

you turned your head to look at the only person who could do such a thing

it was sae

it was sae, who was looking directly at the teacher in front of him like he was the only one present in this room. completely disregarding your curious stare beside him.

all of a sudden it felt like everything has gone into slow motion. the classroom around you seemed to blur, the chatter and movements of other students fading into the background as the touch of his hand anchored you in the moment

before you could've reacted further, the bell rang

sae untangled his hand from yours and walked away to move on to the next subject as if nothing had happened, leaving you to process the lingering warmth on your skin amidst the bustling noise of students packing up and the chatter filling the classroom. the abrupt return to normalcy felt jarring almost, the ordinary sounds and movements of your classmates contrasting sharply with the intimate moment you had just shared.

you can only stare at his back in complete shock on what just happened

what the fuck just happened?

little did you know, that was just the beginning of everything

—

you were starting to think you were going crazy. you're convincing yourself it was just some sick twisted dream. it has to be, it had to be. there was just no fucking way that just happened

asking sae directly was a bit too much, and you knew that. you knew that he wouldn't give you a direct answer– hell, you're lucky if you'd even be given an answer about that

so instead, you decided to test the waters again. if you could somehow lure him into doing it again then, you'd have your answer

your class was at the library for some reading exercises when you decided to put your plan into action. It was simple, really. you placed your hand at your side under the table, hoping sae would take the bait.

he did.

sae tightened the grip on your hand when he intertwined them for the second time today. it was like he was trying to tell you a message through that little action

this time, you dared to look at him. you lightly tugged on his arm, hoping it would catch his attention

to think your little plan had actually worked the second time, you knew something was up between the two of you.

sae decided to play coy, much to your disappointment. he began writing down in his notebook using his left hand while his dominant hand was busy holding yours under the table, yet he still showed no other signs of acknowledgment what-so-ever

it almost felt like he was tormenting you

sae feels a small smile tug on his lips when he catches you looking away while pouting.

how cute, he thought to himself

you didn't know how to bring it up to him later on when you two get home but you don't miss the way the tips of his ears have a slight tint of a red hue when he held your hand under the table

whatever this set up you two had, it went on for awhile without anyone noticing. sae would randomly hold hands with you under the table and shake you off once the bell rings as you move on to the next next class

sometimes you think he’s doing it on purpose to mess with you but at the same time, you don’t. 

it was during science class when sae blushed for the first time

it's times like this that you were glad your teacher made you sit at the back row

instead of listening to your teacher's discussion, you had your own discussion with sae, who was seated right next to you about movies you've both watched growing up

“that’s not how it goes though” you hushed, trying to not raise your voice as the science teacher was in front of you having teaching a lesson

“you’re wrong then” sae argues back, jotting down notes on a piece of paper. 

you clicked your tongue in annoyance, “did you even watch the movie?” you asked, raising your voice a bit. sae suddenly looks up from his paper and looked at you, annoyed

“i should be the one asking you that” he argues, diverting his attention back to his messy notes. you wonder how he could still be at the top of the class when his notes are all over the place

before you could argue further, it seemed like the entire class including the teacher was listening to your little argument

“would you mind sharing your heated discussion back there to the class?” your teacher chimes in, halting your heated argument at the back.

you and sae both freeze in your seats. you slowly turned your head to see the rest of the class staring at the two of you with knowing smiles and smirks.

sae opened his mouth in an attempt to defend himself but the furious blush creeping up from his neck to his face says otherwise. 

“kids these days..” your teacher teased, obviously up to date with the rumors circulating around you and sae. the class giggled as sae shifted awkwardly in his seat with an obvious blush on his cheeks.

your ‘relationship’ with the red head has been slowly progressing into something more. that of which didn't go unnoticed by your fellow classmates and teachers

whatever your status was with sae has already spread among the class. the innocent teasing of your fellow classmates, commenting how cute you two were as a couple spread like wildfire. 

you're not too sure if what propelled your relationship with sae was caused by the innocent teasing by your classmates

it was in his room when you asked sae what you two were

you were almost akin to the itoshi household that it didn't bother them that you'd stay over for multiple periods of time. you were like the daughter they never had and they've always welcomed you with open arms.

you held hands with him again that night. you were lying down on his bed with him, a few inches of space in between. “distance” is what he says as he intertwined his hands with yours – again.

“this is weird.. what are we?” you asked.

sae shrugged, holding your intertwined hands up high, almost like he’s inspecting it.

“i don’t know”

you don't miss the small smile on his face when you waved goodbye to him when your mom picks you up after work

there were times where you just wanted to ask him, “why me?” but you knew he would just throw a backhanded compliment saying that you were more tolerable than the others he knew. 

instead, you didn’t think too much of it. you’ve already brought up the question to him in your daily conversations. to which he usually just dismisses it as nothing

after all, he himself wasn’t sure if you two were even a thing.

[10:45 PM] you: sae, seriously.. what are we?

[10:46 PM] sae itoshi: i don't know

it was in the hallway when sae accidentally lashed out on you

sae was addictive

sae had became a drug that you couldn't stop taking. ever since that night, you couldn't end your day without at least talking to him. sae had become apart of your everyday routine. you had grown accustomed to his daily commentary about anyone and anything

it turns out not only his teachers can make sae flustered, but also his own set of friends

they were teasing sae again when you walked right past them. there was an unspoken rule between the two of you where you two act like you weren’t that close outside the classrooms, something you never really understood the concept of

you rolled your eyes per usual and ignored the obvious innuendos thrown about the two of you. 

“why do you look constipated?” you laughed as you two finally got some alone time at the back of the classroom, just a few minutes before the classroom gets filled with students after lunch “it’s my friends, they’re being stupid as usual” he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“why? did they say anything about us?” you joked, swinging your feet off the table

sae visibly stiffened at the question, “yeah but it’s nothing to be concerned about” he huffed after giving it much thought

“i want to know what they said” you whined, pouting in front of him. somehow it occurred to you that he actually gives in when you throw the puppy eyes at him.

sae flicked your forehead, “no.” he says flatly. you grab onto his hand, swaying it slightly. “sae c’mon just tell me i swear i won’t be offended” you pestered him, poking his chest til he gives in. 

“they said disgusting things about us okay?! happy now?!” sae snapped. “i won’t get into detail but i really wanted to wipe the smirk off their faces” he seethed

“oh..” you squeaked, feeling small

sae picks up on your sudden discomfort and pulled your head against his chest. “i'm sorry. i didn't mean to yell" he murmurs, "don’t worry though. they won’t bother us anymore. i already told them off earlier”

it was during rin's 14th birthday when sae realized he liked you

you were at his house again. it was his brother’s birthday and your family came over late due to the fact that your younger brother also had his kindergarten graduation on the same day.

“you’re well dressed today, y/n-san” his brother, rin comments as you enter their house.

“that’s because i came after brother’s graduation” you retort, tapping rin's cheek, not forgetting to greet him his birthday wishes

“yeah right” his brother scoffs, pushing your hand away. he was exactly like sae at the end of the day “use protection or whatever..” rin says when you knock at sae's room before you enter

you were about to tell rin off for saying such things about you and his older brother when sae yanks the door open

“what the hell was that dumbass talking about— woah” sae's eyes peered over to the dress you were wearing. " you look pretty" he mumbles, grabbing your hand and dragging you inside his room

it was almost midnight when you realized that you talked the night away with sae in his bed, under his covers

"oh shit, it's almost midnight" you pulled out your phone to check the time that reads 11:11 PM

sae took a moment to listen for his parents laughter outside his door. he pats your head and intertwined your fingers under the covers

"it's fine. they're still having fun outside so let's continue what we were talking about" sae says, going back to the topic that you lost track of

you pulled your intertwined hands as you take a good look at it

"sae, i think i like you" your little naive self admitted

sae smiled but you didn't see it

"i like you too"

before you could’ve said anything, the door to sae's room bursts open to reveal rin and your little brother.

in that moment, you and sae sat up and tried to fix yourselves. not like you two did anything inappropriate but the mere thought of it just sent shivers down your spine. not when rin and your little brother were at the age where they would tattle to their respective parents

"i think we're going home" you murmured to sae, patting his leg before standing up and walking over to your brother and rin

"i'll chat you when i get home, sae" you waved goodbye, closing his door on your way out

you missed the big smile on sae's lips when he realizes that he liked you back

it was the following summer when you unexpectedly had to move away

it all happened too fast

some complication had happened between the jobs between your parents that resulted to having no choice but moving far away to the countryside

from what you've heard, your parents and sae's parents had a falling out amidst everything. your dad was convinced mr. itoshi had something to do with his job then word got out then one thing led to another and now you're here, being told off by your mother that you had to cut all contact with sae

"just for a couple of months til we get back on our feet. we don't want them to know where we are" your mother tried to convince you. she tried so hard. she inevitably had to take your phone and deactivate whatever social media you had on there to keep your locations a secret

this was stupid, you thought to yourself. this was between the adults but you still lived under their roof so you had to do what they said

you never saw sae ever again after that

they say fate can be the most cruelest thing

it's been almost nine years since the incident that you had to leave the life you spent years yearning what you could've lived

nine years of radio silence from both ends of a string you call fate

your family had reconnected with a mutual friend that didn't take sides when your family and the itoshi's had a falling out

you met up with the mutual friend and had a good long conversation about how life has been treating you since then

one could say you never got the closure you wanted after that day. even if nine years had passed, the little girl in you who sae had on the palm of his hands, still firmly believes that if you two were destined to cross paths again after all these years, it would all still be the same

your mutual friend had graciously showed you a recent picture of sae itoshi over the years and all you could say was

wow.

it's too late now, you think to yourself. nine years too late. you already had your life figured out. you were finally happy and in a committed relationship for a couple of years now but yet, the feelings you didn't know you still had in you, all crashed around you with just a single picture of the first boy you think you've ever loved

── they say first love never dies

maybe in another life time, in another universe, maybe you two will cross paths again. this time, in the end it will end with you.

[souryoong]

good for you | myg (18+)

Pairing: boyfriend!yoongi x f!reader

Genre: smut!! (18+ readers only pls), established relationship

Word Count: 2,278

Summary: you've been teasing your boyfriend over text while he's been away in paris for business, and he comes home early to teach you a lesson.

Warnings: mentions of sexting, cunnilingus, fingering, making out, clitoral stimulation, tongue kissing, praise kink, edging, reader gets teary, orgasm denial, hitting it from the back, creampie (god I still hate that word!!). also showering together is henced because after all, they are a couple.

Authors Note: hi guys!!! welcome to my own version of march madness (some watch basketball, I write smut. jk I do like basketball too.) I said it before, but just in case you didn't hear, I am celebrating yoongi's bday as well as my own this month by posting my favorite pisces 2 (or 3? its the aries in me to be a menace) times this month. enjoy the smut and happy birthday to my twin flame, yoongi!!

______________________________________________

Yoongi’s patience with you seemed to always be never ending. Nothing that you did ever seemed to cross the line, and when it did, you knew.

Well, today was one of those days.

Yoongi had been in Paris for work for a few days, and with the time difference, you got bored at night and stayed up late, sending him pictures and videos of yourself. They started off with sending him cute outfits that you bought, and then lingerie. However, he stopped responding when you sent him a video of yourself in the bathtub, making you wonder if you might have taken things a little too far. You didn’t want to interrupt him if he was dealing with important business.

Feeling kind of panicky and unsure what Yoongi was thinking, you eventually went to bed, hoping he would somehow not see it, or completely forget about it.

In the morning, you woke up to a text from Yoongi.

Yoongi: You like teasing me like that don’t you, distracting me from work?

You knew he wasn’t actually mad, he probably did enjoy what you were sending him, but maybe it was a bad time.

You thought for a second, and sent a quick text back to him.

You: Just thinking about you, baby.

Hoping that smoothed things over, you went on with your day. Since the time difference, you weren’t expecting to hear from Yoongi until later on in the night.

Later on, when you were winding down for the night, changing into your pajamas, your boss at work called a zoom meeting, discussing some business endeavors.

Since you were very much not modest — your pajamas were a pair of underwear and a big t shirt, your camera was turned off so no one could see you.

The meeting felt like it was going on for forever, you had one of your AirPods in even though sometimes you felt like you probably weren’t even paying attention. The good thing was is that you probably didn’t have to talk.

You pulled your knees in towards your chest in your chair at your desk, taking a drink from your glass that was next to your computer mouse. Suddenly, you heard a knock, but brushed it off as one of your coworkers making noise. You didn’t look away from your computer screen.

A few seconds later, there was another knock that was slightly louder than before; making you realize it was in the room and not coming from the computer. You looked around the room and was almost in disbelief when you saw Yoongi leaning against the doorway, one of his hands in his pocket of his tan colored suit.

“Yoongi?” You questioned him quickly. “I thought you wouldn’t be home until tomorrow.”

Yoongi stepped towards you. “My manager told me there was an earlier flight, so I left right after my event; hence why I’m so dressed up.”

“Yeah, you look so sexy.” You complimented him as he walked behind you. “What made you decide to leave early?”

That was a stupid question.

“Oh did someone suddenly forget what she did to me?” Yoongi’s large hands were on your shoulders.

You were silent, looking at your computer.

“Hey sweetheart. That was a question.” Yoongi leaned down, his low voice in your ear.

“I forgot about it.” You responded, reaching to rest one of your hands onto his.

“I’m not mad. You can send me whatever you want; you know that.” Yoongi brushed a piece of hair away from his face. “But to send me a video of you in the bathtub, while I’m sitting at a meeting? I had to cover my lap like I’m a goddamn teenager.”

You smirked to yourself at his reaction, not realizing he wasn’t done talking.

“Now I’m in the mood to edge you until you cry. Make you learn your lesson.”

You bit down on your bottom lip. Fuck. You knew Yoongi meant it when he said things like that.

“Yoongi, I —" You started to speak, but you were cut off.

“Hey, looks like someone has a meeting to listen to, right?” You wondered how long he was standing there earlier as he planted a few kisses along your neck, making you close your eyes. He was for sure pushing your buttons as you hummed in response.

“How was Paris?” You tried to distract your mind, at this point you weren’t even paying attention to your meeting.

“It was nice. I think you’d like it. Next time you should go with me.” One of his hands was now on your inner thigh, and you knew for sure that you were probably soaking your panties.

“I think —“ Your words were cut off when Yoongi’s fingers brushed against your clothed clit, making you swallow hard.

He moved one of your legs to rest on top of the desk, giving himself full view of your panties that were in fact soaked.

“Already worked up for me?” It was a stupid question to ask; you always were.

“Yoongi.” You spoke, a neediness in your voice.

He moved your chair back, somewhat startling you. Then he was hovering over you; his face close to yours. He gave you a quick kiss, making your heart flutter.

He slipped his fingers underneath the waistband of your panties. “Lift your hips.” Yoongi suddenly spoke, and you did.

Yoongi pulled down your panties, swearing to himself when he saw how wet you were. Stuffing them in his suit pocket, he turned your chair and got on his knees in front of you.

“Fuck.” Yoongi muttered to himself, putting his hands on your thighs. You felt like you were holding your breath. Trying to focus on your computer screen, but also trying to brace yourself for Yoongi’s tongue or fingers.

Yoongi barely touched your clit with his thumb; making you jump. He pressed harder, moving in slow circles.

You let out a sigh, practically feeling your arousal dripping out of you at this point. Yoongi paused for a second, pulling your hips towards himself so that you were sort of laying back in your chair; and more comfortable. Just as you looked away from Yoongi, you felt him push his middle and ring finger inside of you, pressing against your front wall hard.

You cried out his name, leaning your head back.

“You’re so fucking wet.” Yoongi grunted. “Fuck.” He was right, you could hear the squelching noises from his fingers going in and out of you.

Yoongi didn’t say anything before leaning down and sucking your clit into his mouth; forming a rhythm with the way his fingers were moving in and out of you.

Your body shuddered when his fingers brushed against your sweet spot; and you knew you weren’t going to last long if he kept going like this.

One of your hands was in his long, dark hair; trying to hold him there. You could feel yourself getting close, hanging on the edge of your orgasm.

Until suddenly, Yoongi stopped.

“Yoongi!” You were so frustrated, panting. “What the fuck?”

“Baby.” Yoongi spoke lowly, kissing your inner thigh. “Did I say that you could cum?”

“No.” You sighed, looking towards your computer screen.

“Be good for me.” Yoongi glanced up at you, giving you a look that gave you chills and reminded you that you were practically naked in your home office, while he was still fully clothed.

He suddenly stood up in front of you, removing his tan suit jacket; and then throwing it off to the floor. Yoongi leaned in close, grabbing your jaw and giving you a deep kiss; making you taste your own arousal.

“Can you do that for me?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“Yes.” You answered, even though it didn’t sound very promising. “But Yoongi, I think I might have to talk in this.”

“Then you can talk.” Yoongi pressed three of his fingers against your clit, then in a half of a second they were inside of you again.

Yoongi was going way harder than before; fucking you with his fingers. He stood up, trying to get better leverage. You felt his fingers bump your sweet spot, making you grab onto him; practically begging him not to stop.

“Yoongi, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” Your voice was a whine as your walls were clenching his fingers.

On the brink of your second orgasm, you could hear the squelching noise coming from between your legs; realizing that you were probably gushing at this point.

“Yoongi.” You whined, pulling him in for a kiss.

You felt his fingers leave you again, making you let out a sob of a moan against his mouth. At this point you wanted to cry. You wished that your stupid meeting was over and Yoongi was pounding you into your mattress.

“Yoongi, I don’t know if I can take it anymore.” Your voice was shaky as you exhaled.

“I think you can handle more.” Yoongi answered you. He was right, you always liked to push yourself until you found your limit.

You let out a whine when you felt his fingers teasing your entrance again. “Yoongi, please.”

In what seemed like perfect timing; you heard everyone in your meeting saying their goodbyes and wrapping up.

“Alright have a good night everyone, see you Monday morning.”

You watched Yoongi in front of you undoing his belt, and throw it onto the floor with a thud. You quickly unmuted yourself in the meeting to say good bye, then left.

You took out the one AirPod you had in your right ear just in time for Yoongi to grab your chin with one of his hands, kissing you with such a force you thought he’d bruise you.

You grabbed onto his wrist when he simultaneously slipped his tongue into your mouth as his fingers started rubbing your now over sensitive clit.

Yoongi let out a moan into your mouth, making your core clench around nothing.

You broke away from the kiss, his face was still close to yours. Practically aching for him, you whined. “Yoongi, please.”

Swiping his tongue over his bottom lip, Yoongi stood back up, and began unbuttoning his shirt. “Go to the couch. With your back towards me.”

As Yoongi’s shirt was discarded onto the floor, you got up out of your chair; your legs feeling like they didn’t belong to yourself at first. The couch was only a few steps away from your chair at your desk.

You put your knees onto the seat of the couch, then leaned your upper body onto the back rest. Never thinking you’d be having sex in your office; you were glad that this couch was surprisingly roomy.

Hearing movement and fabric rustling, you could only assume that Yoongi’s pants were now off. He moved his hand along the small of your back, pushing your t shirt up to expose more of your body to him.

“Fuck.” Yoongi swore as you arched your back, getting ready for him. “Look at you.”

You let out a moan when you felt his cock head against your entrance, and you moved, trying to fuck yourself onto him.

Yoongi grabbed a hold of your hips, keeping you still he pushed himself inside of you; bottoming out in one thrust.

“Fuck!” You let out a moan, your mouth falling open.

Yoongi sucked in a harsh breath. “God, you feel so fucking good.”

You put your knees further apart on the couch in attempts to feel him a little deeper.

“Yoongi, fuck.” You slightly turned, grabbing onto his wrist as he held onto you. “Don’t stop.”

You felt him nudge your g-spot, making your walls abruptly clench around him. You could tell that your orgasm was somewhat close.

Suddenly Yoongi pulled you up so your back was against his chest; the new angle making you feel him so deep it was like he was in your stomach.

Your eyes were watering as you still clutch onto him. “Fuck, Yoongi I’m so close.” Leaning back into him, he planted a few kisses along your shoulder and neck.

Yoongi reached between hour legs with one hand and started to rub your clit, and your legs started to shake underneath you.

Your eyes were getting teary as Yoongi’s pace never faltered. “Yoongi, please.” Your voice was a whine. “Let me cum.”

“Yeah, you wanna cum?” Yoongi’s voice was breathy against your neck.

“Please.” You leaned into him, one of your hands making its way to his dark hair as you craned your neck to kiss him. “Tell me I’m a good girl.”

Yoongi grunted, starting to fuck into you so hard that you fell forwards back onto the couch. “My good girl.” It was almost as if he was enunciating the words with his thrusts.

“Oh god.” The words left your mouth like a sob as your orgasm crashed into you; this time Yoongi doing nothing to stop it. Your body nearly trembling as Yoongi continued fucking into you. “Fuck.”

“Shit.” Yoongi swore under his breath, his hips stuttering before releasing himself inside of you.

“Yoongi.” You whined at the feeling before it was apparent it was running down your inner thigh. You laughed slightly. “My couch.”

“What?” He was panting, then laughed with you. “Sorry, baby.”

You turned to face him. “God, what time is it? I’m exhausted.”

“You’re telling me. I’m jetlagged as fuck right now.”

You looked up at him, both of you were sweaty, fucked out, and exhausted.

“I’m happy you’re home.”

Yoongi smiled at you, pulling you up off of the couch. “Me too, now let’s take a shower and go the fuck to bed.”

______________________________________________

Tags: @dearlyjoonie @thepurpleghost @che-er-ful @thoughtfullysassysublime @yoongiscta @polyparkj

[writing-house-of-m]

Addiction

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Talks of drinking and drugs. Sexual themes but nothing completely explicit. Toxic relationship. Manipulation. Cheating.

Word count: 3159

Summary: You can't stop yourself from falling under Wanda's spell

A/N: I thought of this when I heard the line "There's something about the way you look tonight" from the song Billie Bossa Nova by Billie Eilish. I actually didn't realise how similar this was to the song until I listened to it again then tweaked it to fit the song a bit more. Also, this is very different to what I usually write so I'd appreciate any comments letting me know what you think. As always, enjoy!

CHECK THE WARNINGS BEFORE READING, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT MEDIA YOU CONSUME

These parties were becoming more and more of a nuisance with how often you were being forced to attend them.

There was no point in you being here.

Happy people having fun, you would roll your eyes more if you could.

A final space is waiting at the bar as if it is reserved for you. Taking the seat you order a drink then look around. Seeing the different groups of people chatting away does nothing to help you. You really do not want to be here.

You turn your back on the excited murmur, trying to drown it all out whilst waiting for your drink. You wish you could have ordered something stronger, anything to cover up the bitterness in your mouth. The gum in your mouth now feels like you are chewing on plastic. It is just something to distract you anyway.

When the bartender places your drink in front of you, you immediately take a sip. The ice in your glass clinks against the edges when you turn in your seat to look at the crowd of people that fill the room once more.

Pretentious is one word to describe them. People who want nothing more than to look important. Elite. When really everybody is just as scared as the next person to lose their deluxe lifestyle.

Not long later your head turns to the entrance when two people arrive. Your gaze moves along with them as they walk into the venue, arm in arm, greeting different people as they pass. The 'perfect' couple.

It makes you sick but when you try to pull your eyes away you can't. There is something about the way she looks tonight. She always did look good in red.

It isn't as strong as it can be but she will always have you under her spell. Your attention is drawn away when a hand brushes her cheek. A hand that isn't yours. No. It is from the one she chose in place of you.

The action is enough to get you to look away as if someone has thrown poison in your eyes.

You take another sip of your drink and just as you expected it does nothing to calm you. It is like there is no taste. All that is left in your mouth is a sourness since she left you.

The woman who haunts your dreams isn't yours anymore. These stupid parties are an additional reminder of that. It is bad enough you have to see them every day around the compound together.

You can't even look him in the eye. Your mind is filled with thoughts you shouldn't have about her anymore.

It's not your fault you know what she looks like under that dress. The intoxicating sounds she makes when you press all the right buttons. How sweet she tastes. Everything is dull in comparison.

You miss being able to steal that nectar from her lips at random times of the day. It has changed your pallet forever. Nothing will ever compare, no matter how hard you try to replace it.

The weight on your chest, that was supposed to get lighter with time, just gets heavier. Guilt always lingering in the back of your mind.

A sarcastic voice pulls you out before you can spiral any further, "And here I thought you would be pouting." Natasha. Always there to make you realise how childish you are behaving.

Natasha was the biggest advocate for you and Wanda. She still hopes one day you will reconcile, even with that walking toaster in the way.

You clench your jaw, a probable gloomy look resting on your face as you let out a sigh and look down at the glass leaving your hands damp with condensation.

"Please don't, Nat," you try to push her away. Knowing your friend though, this was long from over.

"What? I just came over to see if you wanted to dance," she says casually but you know there is a reason for it.

Your eyes fall to the dance floor. Wanda's arms are wrapped around the wrong person. She looks happy, a slight blush on her cheeks that makes her look youthful. You can't help but feel jealous. She used to look at you like that.

The weight on your chest grows heavier. You knew you wouldn't make it through tonight. It's why you didn't want to come but 'appearances need to be upheld'. Who are you to not meet Tony's demands? He has given you a place to live after all.

"No." It comes out a little more aggressively than you want it to but you know Nat won't take it personally.

"Ouch," she feigns hurt, "Is this how you treat a lady that wants you?"

A scoff leaves your lips and you smile a little at the joke, deciding to reciprocate, "I'll let you know when a lady approaches me," you smirk.

Natasha chuckles, glad for the win to get you out of your head, even if it is just for a second.

"You know how Steve feels about gum at these functions," she says, extending her arm, a napkin resting in the palm of her hand for you to spit out the flavorless substance into.

As Natasha scrunches the paper into a ball leaving it on the bar top you explain, "It distracts me from wanting to put a 'death stick' in my mouth."

"Well, I could always distract you if that's what you wanted," she flirts with an eyebrow raised.

You shake your head at her antics. A small smile is on your face as you look down into your drink. There are darker shade spots on your pants from where droplets of water have rolled off your glass.

Natasha takes the tumbler from your hand and places it next to the discarded napkin. She then pulls you from your seat, "Come on. Dance with me."

You let her guide you, keeping your eyes to the ground so you don't see the green ones you used to wake up to.

When you make it to the crowded floor Natasha places your hand on her waist, the other one following shortly after as she wraps hers behind you, drawing you in and resting her head against your chest.

It's a slow song so Natasha stays close to you, unbeknownst to you she is keeping an eye out for Wanda.

Getting bored of looking at the ground you close your eyes and take in the warmth that Natasha provides with her closeness. The comforting press of her chest against you, her shampoo invading your nostrils, soothing as you sway lightly to the soft music. You were never good at dancing but this, you could do.

It must be a few songs later because the people who surround you are different to those who were there when you first arrived.

There is a misstep on your part and you bump into someone, an automatic 'sorry' falls from your lips before you see who it is.

"It's okay," Wanda smiles at you and you almost forget how to breathe. You shouldn't be here. You have been doing so well breaking old habits.

Natasha links her arm in yours standing next to you as you avert your eyes, clearing your throat. You can't look at either of them, especially the android. The bitter taste you are so familiar with makes itself known at the back of your throat.

Vision and Wanda exchange a few words of greeting with you and Nat before Vision looks in the distance. He then excuses himself saying Tony was calling him over.

The habit of you trying to stop clenching your teeth is really being tested right now, you can't help yourself so you give in to the action. Especially when Natasha decides to play wingwoman, excusing herself next and telling you to dance with Wanda now that you were both alone.

This is not what you needed. All your hard work is about to come crumbling down and you know it.

Natasha often talks about how good you are for one another and how she wants to see the two of you flourish once more.

If only she knew.

All you want to do is run away. Get as far away from Wanda as possible but old habits die hard. The smell of her perfume and inviting smile doing nothing to help your resolve.

Wanda takes her position, arms around your neck. Your hands rest on her waist keeping her at, a literal, arms length away. You fall into step with the music, this is all a familiar well rehearsed dance between you two.

She tries to hold your eye contact but you look behind her, "I saw you by the bar, but you don't smell like your usual order," Wanda analyses. "You stopped smoking too?" She adds inquisitively. Your reply comes as a slow nod, still looking at a random spot in the distance behind the band not wanting to get hooked by her gaze.

"You're doing better than you ever did when we were together, malysh," your jaw clenches hard. Whether it is because of accusation or the pet name, you are not sure.

Wanda can feel how tense you are. Your shoulders are practically up to your ears so she strokes the back of your hair, fingernails lightly scratching the sensitive area.

"Just relax," she whispers, making you exhale slowly. Her actions and warm breath fanning over your face makes you do just that, your eyelids falling slowly, shoulders dropping evidently, "That's it baby, it's just you and me."

She pulls you closer so she can whisper directly in your ear. Her words calm you down unlike any drink or narcotic you've consumed before.

Her voice is soothing, so much so that you are under her spell once more. She has never needed to use her powers to have you under her control. You were always weak whenever it came to Wanda. "Let's get out of here," your head bobs up and down, slowly agreeing to her command. You allow yourself to get pulled along by her, out on to a private balcony.

It is like you are on autopilot, turning into the character she likes you to be. You just want to make her happy after all.

Wanda rounds a corner where you both know nobody inside will be able to see the two of you. Facing you she walks backwards, holding onto your jacket. She leans against the wall pulling you closer. One of your hands holds your weight beside her head as the other goes to squeeze her waist.

Wanda pulls you by your collar to close the distance. Your lips were always much better at dancing, especially against hers.

It wasn't always like this. You were heartbroken when she left you, you still are heartbroken, and you know it's wrong because she is with Vision now. But you still crave her. She is an addiction you cannot break. So you will take whatever she gives you - the best and worst kind of torture.

Heat travels up your neck, filling your cheeks and the tips of your ears. Your senses are overtaken by Wanda. Her sweet taste invades your mouth, her nails scratching your scalp as she holds onto you tighter when the kiss gets rougher.

You press your body against her tightly, your hands finding the bottom of her dress pulling it up. Her heavy breathing is interrupted by a gasp as the cool air hits her warm skin. You take this as the perfect moment to move your kisses to her neck and lift her so her legs are wrapped around you. That is when Wanda feels the bulge in your pants.

"I hope you weren't thinking of anyone else but me, malysh," she says between breaths.

There is an innocent pout on her face when you look at her and mindlessly reply, "Only you."

Your lips land on Wanda's as she tries to rub herself against you but you hold her still, pressing her against the wall even more, making her grunt in frustration when she can feel the hardness pressing into her. "I need more," she exasperates.

You roll your hips with hers, giving her the smallest bit of satisfaction for a moment, making her moan loudly. "Please sweetheart. I need you, you know what I like," she holds your jaw roughly, nails digging into your skin. "No one can fuck me like you do."

Her words almost make you lose all of the self control you still have left, but you come to your senses when a cold gust of wind hits you, making you remember where you are. "Not here," you whisper. You then leave a trail of kisses along her jaw finishing with a peck on her lips.

You let her down and keep out of sight as you walk hastily to get to your room. Wanda smirks, biting her lip when you make it to the elevator. She pushes you against the far wall then attacks your lips and neck. Unbuttoning your shirt to leave a mark or two on your collar bone. You don't get the same privilege.

No one can know.

When you finally make it to your floor, you enter your room only wanting to make Wanda feel good. The little voice in the back of your mind reminding you she is no longer yours is forgotten as your rendezvous continues.

…

Wanda sleeps against you. The sound of her light breathing filling the air.

Her warmth and having her tangled in your sheets comes at the cost of your sanity. To you it is but a small price to pay.

No one knows about this and it has to stay that way.

You can't even tell Nat. She understands why Wanda initially broke up with you but now that you were doing better she has hoped you would have reconciled if not for Vision.

You try to take in the peace of the night. You try not to think about the guilt that lingers after you fall into bed with each other. You try not to think about the fact that Wanda will have already disappeared by the time you wake up in the morning. You try not to think about the rehearsed repeated lie you tell Nat when she asks where you disappeared to before the night ended.

The woman in your arms will always be the love of your life. She will always take advantage of you because she knows she can and you will do whatever you can to get whatever crumbs she will give you.

…

Falling to sleep always came easier when she was in your arms. You stir awake when you can no longer feel the comfortable weight on your chest.

Lifting your head, you are confused when you see her almost out of bed, "Wanda?" You ask groggily, reaching for her wrist.

There is no reply but your mind catches up, it is the time of the night where she leaves you for the arms of another. You let out a sigh and drop your head into the plush pillow whispering, "Stay."

"Go back to sleep, Y/n," Wanda lays next to you, stroking your hair. "You know I have to go."

"Please stay," your voice is barely audible because of the tight knot that has presented itself in your throat.

You don't mean to sound so desperate but you are tired and far too broken to pretend that you are okay.

Wanda wraps her arms around you as she continues to stroke your hair. She shushes you and whispers sweet words in your ear as your face presses against her bare chest.

It doesn't take long for you to fall into the depths of slumber once more.

The next time you wake up, Wanda is gone. The once warm sheets are now cold, holding another secret which costs you a piece of yourself.

The bitter taste has returned to your mouth once more as you get up to start your day.

It is long before most people will be getting up considering the party the night before. You pick out a loose t-shirt and some sweats so you can take advantage of the empty kitchen before anyone else gets up.

You start up the coffee machine and wait for it to heat, trying to find peace in this quiet morning. Just like all good things, it comes to an end, "Morning stranger," you hear the husky voice of your friend.

You try not to roll your eyes, knowing she would have some way of knowing even without seeing your face, "Looks like someone had some fun," Natasha says pointing out the marks on your neck. "What was her name?"

After you pour two mugs of the hot beverage you turn to face her with a tight-lipped smile, "Distraction," taking a small sip after.

The coffee is not strong enough to cover the distaste in your mouth.

"Okay, fine. Don't tell me," she says as she gets closer. "But I am glad you had some fun," Natasha says, rounding the island to pick up the mug you left for her.

You raise an eyebrow, "Don't I always?" Which Natasha scoffs at. "If you don't mind, I'm going to finish this in my room before our training."

As you walk back you hear a door open and close, figuring it will be Steve, you don't look up until you recognise the two voices.

You divert your attention from Vision as soon as you make contact with his synthetic blue eyes, your sluggish steps never stopping. The guilt creeps up the back of your throat, so you do your best to clear it.

Vision greets you first, "Good morning, agent Y/l/n." Who is followed by Wanda giving you a sweet smile, "Morning Y/n."

"Morning," you manage to get out as you brush past them. You make it to your room and swiftly close the door behind you.

Placing your coffee down on your desk, you lean over it taking a deep breath. Hot tears threaten to fall but you try with everything you have to push them down and control your breathing.

The lies are easy, you have always been good at telling them - when the drinking became too much and you were out getting whatever you could get your hands on to dull the ache that comes with being an Avenger, the lies would easily spill from your lips. It's keeping up the act that is the difficult part.

You know you shouldn't but you think about the inevitable; falling back into bed with Wanda again. You could call it an obsession at this point.

You just wish you were stronger, to be able to stay away from her but you know it is impossible. Because you are an addict and you will indulge for as long as she will let you.

[chaotic-orphan]

Found fictional story/novel

So... I have found a fictional novel that I wrote over the last ten years that I had completely forgotten about, and then, once I found it again, I realised there is so much of it - like 90,000 words much of it - and it is a lot to comb through and I kind of shut down mentally when I found it but I am working more now on updates for the WIPS I have on Tumblr!

So you can Expect updates soon in:

Delirious Villain x hero caretaker,

Heroic betrayal,

Intoxicating fear (updates every Saturday) (from now) :)

Vendetta,

and, A Benignant Mischief

which are all started in the drafts!

Updates continued under cut

(*not necessary* to read as it is mostly rambles and ranting about the novel I found (and others), but I want to share some fun revelations I found while skimming it)

There are some whumpy scenes from the novel that I may post as I find them, cause some of them are very whumpy, and I enjoyed reading them~

The plot has a lot of male characters which is both interesting and annoying— interesting because I love the two brothers dynamic, even not even blood related, like two brothers joined together by fate, blood, prophecy etc. Annoying because it’s obvious that I looked at the media I was surrounded with and was like “nobody wants to read about women, if they did, there would be more women centric things” so I’ll write about boys!

Point 2 Contd. (Rant!) Obviously discounting the genre of YA dystopian fiction which was great, and populated by mainly female protagonists, and which I enjoyed, but then, were shit on by the mainstream media because GIRLS CAN’T FIGHT? Girls can’t be the main driving force of a novel? Girls suck, boo girls, unless they’re tom boys or men. Ahem, thank you for your input on teenage girl’s book choices FORTY YEAR OLD WHITE MEN :D WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT YOU

Part 2+3 contd. (the brightside!) However, the good thing about this is that I can populate the rest of the novel with strong female characters! There are a few dotted through who i dote on a bit, I love them, like come here my little beautiful minority <3

The plot centers around two brothers who get torn apart when outlaw's raid in their coastal village - actually, my newest Medieval WIP was inspired by the novel!! Same setting/vibe (as in the coastal village) so very fun

This to say that actually I think the new Medieval WIP is my brain trying to flesh the world out more and see what the average people would do in the world… but it’s a story in its own right too!

There are magic, gods, good gods and bad gods ofc, ancients, bloodlines, descendants, royalty, soldiers, outlaws, magic schools, political intrigue - like it is a mix of everything I have loved over the years which is so funny to see because clearly I haven't changed...

The dialogue?!?!? I don't think I have written like that ever, but the dialogue is so much better than the dialogue I write today and idk why? Maybe because I wrote it off a sudden throng of inspiration or something? But, fuck, how do I write like that again? I mean, without editing, because the amount of editing I had to do to make the novel READABLE wasn't funny, it took so long... it's finished now though, just the editing, NOTHING else - give me strength, I need it

Also, realised that I hate editing - is it something new? Not really, but holy moly... editing sucks, but it also?? Improves the story and fluidity so much, I should start editing my pieces before I publish and come off as far more eloquent than I do

Planning... is also so difficult - 90% of the novel is like this:

Scene X: completed Me: ah, good, that scene is written, I can move on to the next one Me, still staring at Scene X: ...move on now My brain: but what if it happened like this? PROVIDES SEVEN DIFFERENT ALTERNATE ENDINGS TO THE SCENE THAT WEREN'T NECESSARY AND NOW I HAVE TO CUT SO MUCH CRAP BUT MY BRAIN'S STILL LIKE - BUT WHAT IF?

My brain's literally like the writer's brain from Hush, such a good movie... ANYWAYS!!!!

That's the end of all my ramblings for today, was this post necessary? No, but like, I clearly wanted to get it off my chest and vent so we live, laugh, love... I hope all your days are going well :3

~ Orphan,

(P.S. - I'm toying with the idea of dropping my nickname in the bio, or doing a whole overhaul of the blog - the name, the layout... get rid of orphan, or maybe just become "nickname_the orphan", or something. But, see orphans are just so whumpy though I love a good orphan story... thoughts, ideas, waste management? I'm just dunking all my overflow of thoughts on this update today, but sure, look, be grand — I’m truly sorry if you read this far, I am having an ✨episode✨)

[beomgyuslilracha]

you don't go to parties ☆.* 5

⊹ pairing: choi yeonjun x f! reader

⊹ genre: exes to ... complicated

⊹ warnings: besides my own bad writing? none !

⊹ wc: 4.9k

summary: back in your college days, you were living at the prime of your life alongside your boyfriend, yeonjun. you couldn't remember most of it, though, considering it was a blur consisting of mostly parties and many drunken nights. eventually, you reached your limit, and you and yeonjun no longer saw eye-to-eye. after many fights and endless tears, you disappeared for good and left that life and your boyfriend behind. but, five years later, yeonjun was still waiting for you at every party.

in the midst of the early morning, you were suddenly woken up in a state of surprise by a seemingly odd, and rather loud, thud. sitting up in a rush, you quickly began to rub at your tired eyes in order to look around and discover the source of the noise.

you first took note of the empty space in the bed beside you, where you certainly remembered a cute blonde boy used to be. noticing the way the bed sheets seemed to have been dragged off towards his side, you slowly crawled forward to peer over the edge.

that was how you spotted little huening sprawled out on your bedroom floor.

"oh my God, kai, are you okay?" you asked him, stifling a laugh while trying to maintain a look of concern. you figured he must have accidentally rolled right off while he was still half-asleep.

"yeah, i'm okay," kai eventually grumbled in response, though his face was practically glowing the deepest shade of red – you assumed as a result from his embarrassment.

it was ... partially true, at least.

he would never admit it to you in a million years, but, truthfully, you were the actual reason he had fallen over.

perhaps 'fallen' wasn't the correct word, rather, he threw himself over the side entirely by choice.

when he had awoken just a moment or so before you, he hadn't expected to wake up so ... close. your noses were mere centimeters from brushing together, and he felt the warmth of your hand unconsciously tangled with his.

at first, kai was completely frozen in place – too nervous to make any sudden movements that would cause you to pull away. he didn't even register any signs of leftover drowsiness in himself, too mesmerized by how ethereal you looked now in front of him.

he wasn't sure if it was the way the sunlight was gently caressing your skin from between the gaps of the curtain now, or if he was truly seeing you in a far different light than before..

he searched through the memories in his mind, but he couldn't seem to pinpoint the exact moment where he started to feel so strangely around you. he most especially couldn't comprehend the dull ache in his chest that he was feeling or what it could possibly mean.

noting the way your shoulders slightly rose and fell as you breathed ever so softly and the way he could feel your fingers gently and unknowingly tighten around his own, the only thing that he was certain of was that there was no sight more breathtakingly beautiful than what he was seeing now.

with the hand that was not entwined with yours, he ever so carefully lifted his finger to hover just a centimeter away from you. he was hesitant, but he so badly wanted to tuck the stray strand of hair that had cascaded down your face.

that was when you breathed in a little more deeply, slightly stirring in your sleep and catching kai completely off-guard.

the sudden movement had surprised him so much, along with caused his heart rate to increase instantaneously out of panic, that his only reasonable reaction was to throw himself as far from you as he possibly could.

as he looked up at you now, with your hair a mess and your smile beaming down at him, the pounding of his heart seemed to only get worse.

why was this happening?

you reach out your hand to the poor boy, shaking your head as you laughed softly. "come on, get up. i imagine you'd be much more comfortable up here than down there."

kai took your hand for the support to sit back up, but he couldn't help but to mumble quietly under his breath, "i wouldn't be so sure.."

you ruffled his bedhead playfully, smiling at your best friend so sweetly. it wasn't every morning that you got to wake up with a smile on your face, so you were grateful for the boy in front of you now. "here, let me wash up and then i'll make you breakfast so you can feel better, okay?" you giggled at him, sitting back up from the bed and making your way into the restroom.

kai watched your figure disappear behind the bathroom door, and his lips were quick to form into a pout as the door closed behind you. "i don't think that's going to make me feel better," he muttered to himself.

except he was lying and he knew that was definitely going to make him feel more than just better.

even by the time that you had left the restroom for him to take his turn, he was all the more eager to wash up even quicker in order to spend the morning with you.

just the thought of being with you had him smiling extra hard at his reflection in the mirror as he washed his face. he couldn't tell if his face was warm from the water or from his thoughts...

even the simple action of placing his spare toothbrush beside yours had him smiling so shyly. it was so cute, and for what?

almost like ... almost like if you two were-

"woah, are those eggos?" kai questioned aloud, stopping all train of thought after entering the kitchen.

you glanced up towards the newfound presence in the room, your hand paused wrist-deep in the aforementioned box of eggos. "yeah.. is that okay?"

kai laughed, though a bit confused. "of course it's okay. why wouldn't it be?"

"just in case i gave you the false impression that i actually know how to make a proper breakfast," you admitted with a cheeky smile, popping the eggos into the toaster.

kai took it upon himself to search for the syrup, mentally taking note of all the leftover takeout stocked in your fridge. he was not at all under any impression that you were capable of cooking any meal at this point.

not that he was any better, since he had not a single cooking skill in his body, so who was he to judge?

once all the eggo waffles were ready to eat, you brought out the containers of fruit and whipped cream to decorate the tops with.

where kai decided to make a cute face on his, you opted for an aesthetic fruit tower on yours.

breakfast was cute and casual, minus the mini fight with the whipped cream the two of you had afterward when you thought it'd be funny to put some on his nose — causing you both to have to take turns showering in order to wash it out of your hair.

"we need to start heading out soon," you announced to kai after he exited the bathroom, scrubbing his hair dry with a towel. "beomgyu is already spamming our group chat wondering where we are."

kai pouted, glancing over at you sitting patiently at the edge of your bed. you were already fully dressed for the day, whilst he was wearing the spare sweatpants you got for him - after staining his jeans earlier from the syrup and whipped cream.

if kai was being honest, he had completely forgotten about music bank already. despite the fact that it was a big day for him, he felt that he would much rather stay at your apartment and spend the entire day with you.

taking note of his small pout, you giggled - assuming that he was merely nervous about having to mc today instead of anything else. "come on, i'll help you practice the whole way, okay?"

kai smiled sweetly at you, not wanting to have to explain that that wasn't exactly the dilemma he was dealing with.

either way - at least he knew you'd be there for him the entire day anyway.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

by the time the two of you arrived at the set of music bank, the surrounding staff wasted no time in ushering kai away to be dressed and ready to film.

meanwhile, you decided to use this opportunity to search around the halls and public spaces for any sign of beomgyu. he mentioned in his messages that he'd be waiting for you in the room designated for him and his personal staff.

unfortunately, he failed to mention exactly where that was, and now he was failing to respond to your most recent messages.

in which case, left you wandering the halls like that of a lost puppy.

it didn't help when it seemed like every idol in the entire industry seemed to be filming challenges of some sort or another in every area of the building, so it was making it rather difficult to navigate around.

"damn it, choi beomgyu, i'm seriously going to kill you," you muttered under your breath in annoyance as you dialed his number and received no answer again.

for someone who was whining and wondering where you were, it sure was an awful coincidence for him to go radio silent the second you were looking for him.

"did you say you were looking for beomgyu?"

at first you were startled by the sudden voice that just so happened to overhear you talking to yourself, but it was quickly replaced with a wave of relief as you hoped to finally have some form of help in finding your friend.

"yes! please tell me you've seen him!" you practically pleaded to the stranger, but your demeanor suddenly changed into that of curiosity as you took a moment to process the stranger's appearance.

... silver hair ...

meanwhile, in that same instant, his eyes widened similarly as he registered just exactly who you were for himself.

"uh- yeah," taehyun had to clear his throat to regain his composure. he hadn't expected to be the one to run into you while on his way to look for yeonjun. "i'm pretty sure i saw him upstairs filming a challenge."

"thank you so much, really," you thanked him profusely, bowing formally to fully express your gratitude, regardless of the simplicity of the situation.

"no problem. i hope you find him."

taehyun then began to walk away, wanting to find yeonjun and immediately tell him how incredibly out of his league you are — your pictures certainly didn't do you enough justice.

although, he was surprised to feel a small tug on his sleeve preventing him from walking away, and he turned his head to see that it was your hand that was gently holding him back.

you even surprised yourself, unable to believe your own actions.

why did you stop him?

you weren't seriously going to ask him, were you??

"um, actually ..." now that you put yourself into this predicament, you realized you had absolutely no way of actually figuring out how to go about it.

as you were hesitating, taehyun was left standing in utter confusion. nevertheless, he maintained his polite smile and waited patiently for you to gather your words.

he would come to realize that he should've ran off when he had the chance.

"by any chance, are you the one whose been leaving gifts ... for me?" you finally managed the words, though you could feel your entire face warming 20 degrees and glowing with embarrassment.

funnily enough, taehyun's face was glowing a matching shade of red to yours in an equal amount of embarrassment.

not for quite the same reason you'd imagine, though.

taehyun's lips parted as if to speak, but not a single word left his mouth. you wondered if this could be due to the fact that he was shy from having been confronted so suddenly, but this would actually be due to the war going on inside his head on how to properly handle the situation.

on one hand, he could easily throw yeonjun entirely under the bus and allow himself to be upfront and honest with you to avoid any misunderstandings.

on the other hand, he could take the fall for his friend and try to explain the situation as vaguely as he can in order to, hopefully, avoid any misunderstandings.

unfortunately, much to his own dismay, taehyun was not the type of guy to betray his friend ... regardless of how badly he wished he could.

which left him to settle for the most difficult hand.

nervously scratching at the back of his head, taehyun averted his gaze as he finally gained the courage to respond, "yes, that ... that would be me."

your blush deepened instantaneously at the confirmation, and your hands quickly reached up to cover your burning cheeks in an attempt to hide how badly you were blushing.

you felt more so embarrassed that you did not recognize the boy in front of you whatsoever, yet here he was boldly admitting that he was your secret admirer all along.

of course, he wasn't actually your secret admirer, but he couldn't bring himself to break yeonjun's trust and tell you that.

which, incidentally, has lead to a misunderstanding.

"um, listen," you finally spoke up, your voice suddenly quieter than normal due to your newfound shyness. "i want to truly thank you for your gifts. i appreciate them so much; i can't remember the last time anyone has ever gifted me with anything so lovely."

taehyun squeezed his lips together to refrain from blurting out the truth to you then and there. he felt he was extremely unworthy of your thanks when he had originally thought yeonjun's gifts were all lame in the first place.

although, he was taken aback when he felt a strange tug in his heart when he couldn't help himself from thinking that you looked pretty cute when you blush..

a thought he would never share to anyone.

"well, i'm just happy to know that they were able to make you smile," taehyun responded simply and kindly, though still managing to make you blush even more than you already were.

"um, i hate to ask this, but ... i don't believe i know your name."

you felt utterly embarrassed having to ask for his name. for someone to know more about you than you do about them felt almost shameful, especially when he clearly held some sense of romantic feelings for you.

again, this is with you being entirely unaware that taehyun was nothing but a messenger caught in the middle of your ex-boyfriend's schemes.

"no, don't worry! it's kang taehyun, but you're more than welcome to speak informally with me," taehyun told you matter-of-factly, smiling so sweetly that it only succeeded in making you feel worse for having no recollection of him at all.

and to reiterate for the last time, this would be because you have no actual memories of him because neither of you actually met prior to this moment.

with a scarlet hue coloring your cheeks, you figured it wouldn't hurt to take a leap of courage and ask for his number in order to get to know him more.

just as you opened your mouth to ask, that was when you were both interrupted by one of the last people you wanted to see.

"y/nie, there you are! where have you been?!"

you could say that beomgyu has a weird knack for having the most God awful timing known to man.

both you and taehyun turned to watch as beomgyu bounded over cheerfully, quickly engulfing you into a bear hug to wordlessly express how much he missed you.

as appreciated as it was, this was still not the time

"i should be asking you that when you're the one who didn't answer any of my texts or calls," you told him, shaking your head.

taehyun couldn't help but to smirk in amusement at how quickly your behavior changed now that beomgyu was present. did he sense that you were rather disappointed to be interrupted?

as beomgyu explained to you how he left his phone with the staff while recording challenges, taehyun was wondering to himself if he should take this as his cue to leave.

"well, since you found him, i'm going to go ahead and-"

"no, wait!" you had reached out instinctively to lightly grasp at his sleeve again, wanting to keep him with you for just one moment longer. "i really want to be able to thank you properly, so ... if it's okay with you, can we exchange numbers?"

taehyun certainly surprised himself to feel his face grow a few degrees warmer at your words combined with how cutely you tugged at his sleeve.

why does he keep finding you cute??

"you really don't have to," taehyun insisted, chuckling softly as he forced himself to ignore the thought that had swirled around in his head for a second too long.

"please? it's the least i could do, really!"

with a shy smile, taehyun practically folded as he officially gave in and agreed.

feeling entirely out of the loop, beomgyu was left to watch with confusion as you and taehyun exchanged numbers with a promise to talk again.

after finally bidding a goodbye to taehyun, you turned around and could only roll your eyes as you spotted the most shit-eating grin plastered across beomgyu's face. the second he started wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, you lightly shoved him away and began to walk off to find kai instead.

"soooooo, who was he~?" beomgyu teased as he followed beside you, leaning his body forward to get a good view of the way your cheeks were intensifying in color.

you pursed your lips, pausing your steps to look at beomgyu properly. "do you remember my secret admirer?"

"yeah, why?"

you raised your brows in an insinuative manner, hoping to hint to beomgyu exactly what you were trying to imply without having to outright say the words out loud.

thankfully, his eyes widened in acknowledgement just a moment after and his jaw gaped with surprise. "that was him?!"

you nodded shyly, feeling the heat radiating from your cheeks yet again at the mere thought.

"oh we have to tell kai!" beomgyu insisted, scoffing in disbelief.

"you have to tell kai what?"

both yours and beomgyu's heads whipped around to see none other than kai himself walking over to you both, his eyes already sparkling brightly with curiosity.

and just like magic, all was quickly forgotten as you found a smile instinctively gracing your lips at the sight of your best friend.

"kai!" you cheered happily, closing the gap and wrapping your arms around him in a way that made his heart flutter.

it had only been maybe an hour since the two of you had been separated, but it always felt like centuries when you two were apart.

"y/nie!" kai echoed back with a soft laugh, returning the embrace just as eagerly.

"yeah, yeah, you two missed each other," beomgyu rolled his eyes, already far too used to your sickeningly sweet behavior with one another than he'd like to be. "anyway, kai, listen! guess who y/n just met!"

kai probably tried about two guesses before beomgyu grew impatient and ended up dropping the little game altogether.

"she met her secret admirer!"

at this, kai's bright smile of amusement seemed to falter as he processed the news in his head.

a bad feeling seemed to settle in his chest, but he wasn't quite sure how to decipher what it could possibly mean. perhaps he thought the secret admirer was bad news?

but how could he .. when he never met him?

"hello? earth to huening?"

kai blinked back into reality, not even aware that he had dazed off into his own thoughts. he now came to realize that you and beomgyu had been left staring at him rather oddly when he didn't react or respond right away as they expected him to.

"oh, sorry, i was ..." trying to figure out why i hate someone i never actually met. "trying to see if i could picture who it was."

"oh, that's right! he might be one of the idols promoting today," you gasped, your hand reaching up to cover your mouth.

"what was his name?" kai asked you, his underlying intentions disguised under the premise of simply wanting to answer your curiosity.

"kang taehyun!"

kai's head tilted as he thought over the list of idols present today, but, surprisingly, the name didn't ring a bell whatsoever.

this realization only worsened the ugly, twisting feeling in his gut as he believed that he must have shown up for the sole purpose of seeing you..

"i don't recognize his name, actually," kai explained in a voice that was way softer than he intended it to be.

beomgyu was pondering to himself when a certain thought suddenly came into his mind. "wait a minute, isn't he friends with-"

"KAI!"

all three of your heads whipped around to see wonyoung, kai's co-host, rushing over with a worried expression plastered over her features.

"what are you doing? we've been looking all over for you! we go live in 2 minutes!"

kai's expression quickly transitioned into one of panic as he grasped the situation at hand. "ah, i'm so sorry! i'm coming now!" he turned to give you a rushed kiss on the forehead before dashing off towards the main set — with poor wonyoung left trying to keep up behind him.

now with filming about to start, you bid beomgyu a goodbye and good luck as you headed off to search for the reserved section where you'd be able to proudly watch both your boys.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

meanwhile, in a different area of the building, another war was raging inside poor taehyun's head as he walked through the halls in search of where yeonjun had said his dressing room would be.

the same yeonjun whose ex-girlfriend he just finished exchanging numbers with...

taehyun ran a hand through his hair stressfully, going over his options yet again.

on the same hand as before, he could always be upfront and honest and explain to yeonjun exactly what happened. he can tell him how he didn't want to throw yeonjun under the bus, so he selflessly took the fall ... which may or may not have lead to a misunderstanding.

but on the other hand, in the fear that yeonjun may overreact and take such news rather negatively - which, let's be fair, is a much higher possibility than taehyun would like - he could always just withhold the information and ensure that things with you never went any further.

or, perhaps, he could settle for the secret third option where he can avoid the topic altogether if he can just manage to encourage (aka force) yeonjun to apologize to you as soon as possible.

upon discovering and entering the room where yeonjun was residing, taehyun could only wonder if he was being a little too hopeful in thinking his friend was anywhere near ready, or mature enough, to do so.

"you can't be serious?" taehyun questioned, now staring down at the fox plush in his hands. "please tell me this is a joke meant specifically to annoy me?"

yeonjun squeezed his lips together, now rather embarrassed. he was much more confident about the idea in his mind just a minute ago, but now taehyun was causing him to have second thoughts.

"you don't think she'll like it?"

taehyun couldn't help but to sigh. "total honesty? i think it's stupid and, last i checked, she's not a child." he shook his head to express his disappointment, tossing the plush back into the pouting boy's hands.

actually, now having met you briefly for himself, taehyun was quite sure that you really would still greatly appreciate the gift — but, if taehyun wanted yeonjun to make any progress, he needed to take a much bigger step than surprise gifts already.

on top of that, now that you were under the impression that taehyun was your secret admirer, this new gift would have a far different meaning that yeonjun would most definitely not appreciate.

unaware of taehyun's thoughts, yeonjun was staring down at the plush now for himself, remembering how brilliant he originally had thought the idea had been when he first bought the gift. you used to tell him how much he resembled a fox all those years ago when you were together, so he foolishly hoped that it would be a cute reminder for you...

"yeonjun," taehyun sighed again, shaking his head with a pitiful expression adorning his features. "i just want to state, for the record, that there's no rule out there that says you can't just walk up and apologize to her directly."

yeonjun groaned aloud, now tossing the plushie halfheartedly onto the couch cushion of the dressing room. "i can't just walk up to her, are you kidding?!"

taehyun had to close his eyes and contain himself for a moment, reminding himself that it would be unwise to punch the idiot right before he has to be on camera.

even though he hadn't exactly been yeonjun's biggest fan these past few years, he at least tolerated him so much more back then than the way he was acting now. it was as if any ounce of common sense had left his body when it came to anything involving you.

"yes, actually, you can. that's the crazy thing about legs," taehyun remarked sarcastically.

yeonjun narrowed his eyes in taehyun's direction, clearly not remotely amused by the comment.

eventually another sigh escaped taehyun's lips — an unfortunate habit that he picked up ever since he agreed to help with the poor idiot sulking in front of him.

"look, i know you're dead set on this whole plan you got going on, but why do you even want this so badly? i mean, from what you've told me, she's already made her stance perfectly clear about how she feels about you."

a silence filled the room as yeonjun let the question linger in the air.

it was a disgusting question, he felt, but it was also reasonable enough to be wondered.

why did he want you so badly?

it wasn't like he hadn't tried to move on - believe me - but it just never felt the same. regardless of how many girls he met and dated, he couldn't push away that annoying voice in his head reminding him that none of them will ever be you.

you were the one that got away.

the one he should have never let go.

you were the one person in the world that helped him understand what love felt like ... and he took it for granted.

then to hear you practically say that the two of you didn't belong together?!

"i want to prove her wrong," yeonjun stated simply, shrugging nonchalantly as he chose to keep his other racing thoughts hidden.

he didn't feel it was any of taehyun's business to understand his true feelings for you. yeonjun wasn't the kind of guy who needed someone to confide in, so he was more than adamant on keeping it that way.

"and what exactly are you proving wrong?"

yeonjun rolled his eyes in annoyance, already growing tired of taehyun's questions. "i want to prove to her that i'm not the same person i was. that i am willing to put in effort to be with her."

yeonjun could feel himself subconsciously getting worked up, his chest rising and falling heavily with each breath.

if nothing else, taehyun could at least sense yeonjun's genuine passion for the matter — even if his ideas have been rather subpar in showcasing any of it.

"that's why i think actually going up to her would show more effort than secretly leaving her little gifts," taehyun explained.

yeonjun's original confidence was quickly deflated by taehyun's simple words, leaving him to slump down on the couch in despair. his hands grasped at his hair in frustration as he groaned. "i can't!"

after more back and forth between the two, with no progress being made on either end of the argument, a soft knock on the door earned both of their attention. according to the staff member that entered, yeonjun's segment of filming was coming up shortly.

"look, just ...," yeonjun paused, quickly scribbling onto the notecard attached to the plushie before shoving it into taehyun's hands. "she'll probably be in that walking stick's dressing room, so can you just leave this there so she can find it? i'll figure out the rest later."

with that, and no further elaboration, yeonjun turned and left with the staff to head to the main stage.

taehyun stared blankly at the doorway that yeonjun just disappeared through, realizing that he was left with absolutely no idea who the supposed 'walking stick' was supposed to be.

luckily, taehyun possessed incredible critical-thinking skills.

he deduced that you were clearly here in support of beomgyu and hueningkai, meaning that it could only be one of the two that yeonjun was referring to.

considering yeonjun definitely knew of beomgyu by name, that left hueningkai being the aforementioned insult that taehyun would rather not repeat.

once he had that figured out, taehyun then double-checked the notecard to ensure that yeonjun hadn't written anything embarrassing again.

hm.. his phone number.

with a sigh, taehyun shook his head and left the note alone. he supposed - and hoped - that would at least be a tiny step towards some sort of progress.

previous | masterlist | next

a/n:

hehe so uhh .. it's been a while .. but i'm back !! i've had this series in the back of my mind for the longest time and i am finally back and focused to pick it back up! unfortunately, i wish that i could say i was proud of this part, but ... i'm mixed feelings. since i was away from the story for so long, i lost that rhythm of how i wanted to portray the characters and how i wanted the story to flow :( luckily i left myself notes to remind myself of major key points whenever i came back to it - i'm hoping that they paid off!

i sincerely hope that no one is disappointed or upset by waiting for so long just so this update can flop, so uhhhh .. if anyone could let me know what you think, that would be greatly appreciated !! and thank you to those who waited patiently and still support me even though i disappear so much :( <3 you guys make me so happy, i hope you know that. i just hope i didn't disappoint!

~

series taglist:

@cookiehaos @rizzshimura @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @junzwrld @gyuuluvrs @goldennika @nobodyshallenter @faeryhee @lubtou @soobsfairy444 @2ynjns @cherriruto @baekberrie @youraggedybitch @eundiarys @jwicore @bokk-minnie @cha-raena @sparkswhoz @wo-ai-ni-yong @strvlveera @ghostfacefricker6969 @blondsoobinenthusiast @whippedforbeomgyu @l0stindigo @angelbythewindow @hkplushier @aloverga @ineedsomezzz @themiddlefingerinthesky @idkhoomanmaybe @catsyoon @wereonfire @heartattackreader @myjaeyunn

permanent taglist:

@human-misery @dongmeiii @softcabur @marekmybeloved @aishidaishi @taekwondoes @wccycc @jjhmk @mjlasagna @eclecticeggknightpsychic @yjusei @beachbabe4ever

[kyeomyun]

8:46 PM

pairings: dad!soonyoung x gn!reader

genre: crack + fluffy fluffy fluff fluff + more crack

warnings: jokes about ripping one's ear off, cursing, that's it.

word count: 0.9k

synopsis: nothing is more loving than coming home to your tiger family- wait, what?

::note: this took me me an hour to write and this is NOT proofread as of now.

Soonyoung knew what it took to make your son follow simple orders and Soonyoung follows along with his traps every. single. time. Today was no exception. The bad outcome of all of this? Soonyoung can get a little too deep into your son's tactics and become... well... a child himself.

Leaving Soonyoung alone with your son, Jiho, was completely out of your league and range of logical ideas you have ever made while being married to the man.

No, Soonyoung is not horrible at taking care of a child. Not at at all.

He can hold a child, feed a child, hell... even communicate even if the child is using their own unique dialect and/or language to try to convey whatever rushing scenarios or kid-like ideas they try to get across (which 9 out 10, barely works without having to rapidly fire questions about whatever it is they are trying to say).

The way Soonyoung handled the kid was not the problem. It was the least of your worries.

What edged you a bit was how your husband acted with your kid. That was another beast to tackle. A completely different persona to try to age back up to his fatherly one.

You knew today would be no different after you received a call from your next door neighbor, Jihoon, Soonyoung closest friend. Well... one of his many closest friends..

"Y/n." His tone was merely agitated, you can already see the vision of his index finger and thumb massaging the stress wrinkles from his temple. A breathy sigh followed and soon, the reasoning of dialing you up. "Can you please, please, give Soonyoung an earful before I rip his ear off?"

You let out a shallow exhale, your fingers clicking across the keyboard whilst your eyes traced over the blinking cursor that slid right of the monitor in front of you.

"What did he do, Hoon?" What did he do now you really wanted to ask.

"Just.. go home and see. Just know that I am not the only neighbor complaining."

And that's how you ended back home only 1 hour before you shift really hit a close.

Now, your mind already checked off that the problematic duo was obviously rowdy. You could hear faint screams of your son from outside. Even when the wind would clog your ears temporarily and then escape back into the breeze.

You expected Jiho, wearing his pull-up diaper and nothing more, waddling side to side in the living room, his high-pitched giggles (screams) almost shattering the glass windows that surrounded almost every corner of your house, and Soonyoung, his horanghae pose while chasing his miniature him around while growling obnoxiously loud; you know, the norm.

Surprisingly, that was not the scene at hand.

After entering the not-so-quiet home of yours, you were quick to rush upstairs (locking the door of course) to see whatever ruckus they have caused yet again.

"Now, show me your teeth little guy! Say 'rawr!'" Soonyoung ordered with a somewhat argent voice, he too obliging with his request for his son.

To paint the scene, there they both sat, one in the bath full of bubbles and orange dye, face striped with black but mostly plastered with orange, and the other on his knees beside the tub that was spilling luke-warm water onto the floor — a toothbrush at hand with toothpaste lined up on the brussels.

"Rawr!" The 2-year-old went on with his father's wishes and flashed his very few teeth, some crooked but overall healthy, before your husband began his duty of actually beginning to clean your son's teeth.

"This is how you become the best tiger, little one. With such fierce determination, handsome-ness, and passion, you can be just like me."

At this point, Soonyoung was just pulling this "tiger talk" straight from his tiger ass and you could barely withstand hearing another alpha-y dialogue from him.

"You know, Ji was supposed to be bathed a hour ago, Soon." And that's when you finally met your husband eyes that day. His hand froze and so did your next rebuttals as you took in the scene that you kinda wish to erase from memory.

As if you did not think this tiger agenda could not egg more than it already has for years...

There your husband is, black stripes scattered along his face and the base or his face orange. A sloppily drawn black dot on his nose and dotted freckles on his cheeks — much like your son's face.

"Um... welcome home, darling!"

As said before, Soonyoung knows exactly what to do to make your son oblique to simple orders. You however? This will be the last day you ever listen to Soonyoung suggestions and actually follow along with them.

"I, the tiger-"

"Horang." The man next to you dared to whisper the correction of your dialogue. You darted your newly painted face (art by your son) to your husband. You jutted your face towards him, curse words rippling from your mouth in hisses so your son could not be able to complain about one.

Clearing your throat, you panned your attention back to Jiho, who patiently waited with a fork at hand and a plate sided with steamed carrots and broccoli in a bowl.

"-The Horang royal, order you, prince horang, to eat thy vegetables, or I will have no choice but to remove-"

"Terminate." Soonyoung already began to take steps back, your head already slowly turning before you began your one mission and one mission only:

Ripping Soonyoung's ear off. (lovingly)

Per Jihoon request. :)))

Your son's exciting screams only urging you on to the so desired goal.

Seungkwan was right, it really did run in the family.

(no worries, you still love Soonyoung)

did you enjoy your order?

if you did, please reblog, like, (pls) comment, all of that jazz :>

have a good day, sweets ^^

tagging: @star1117-archives @m4rsluv @luvhyun3 @trblsvt @dreamyyeosang

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

One more thing:

People keep saying that the live action has the same runtime (or similar runtime) as the animated series, but that is ignoring the way episode structure works in TV. It's not runtime, in TV.

Before we continue, my credentials are that I have an MFA in writing for film & television and I am a commissioned writer who has written TV episodes.

ATLA had 20 completed 30-minute episodes in season 1 (I know they were more like 20 minute, but in TV writing, people refer to series as 30 minute and 1 hour. A 30-minute usually has a 20-30 minute runtime, and a 1-hour usually has a 45-60 minute runtime. Sometimes, this is referred to as comedy [30] and drama[60], but that's falling out of style now that those runtimes are not as limited to those genres anymore).

Putting 2 full 30 minutes together doesn't make a properly structured 1-hour. 1-hour episodes have a completely different structure and still have to tell a full arc in their allotted time. 8 1-hour episodes is still 8 episodes, not a mashup of 20. That would be terrible TV structure, and trust me, it would've been a worse experience for the viewer.

You don't just... mash together all 20 episodes. You HAVE to mine the episodes for the most important story elements and use them to BUILD your story. If it was 20 1-hour episodes, there would be room to expand each of the original episodes. There just isn't in an 8 episode story. I don't know if what I'm saying will make sense to people who haven't written adaptations, but I can tell you that it makes no sense to think 8 1-hour episodes is the same amount of story space as 20 30-minute episodes. Each 1-hour episode has to tell a cohesive EPISODE of the story. It has to have a beginning, middle, and end. What's more likely to happen is what did happen, which is exploring moments that weren't in the og series and combining things from the og, while just keeping the plot of the original mostly intact. Honestly, the series had way more nods to the animated series than I expected.

Honestly, I wish they had 12 episodes instead of 8, because they could've let things marinate more... but yeah, I just need it to be understood that while the runtimes are similar, they're not actually equivalent.

(And y'all, I'm just rambling while I'm taking a break from writing a different project, which is driving me nuts, so if I sound ineloquent, my bad. I will clarify how the two are different in another post, if y'all want.)

[shinyrhinestones]

Loved in the night

Summary: Elle comforts Reader after her mother gets hospitilazed.

Pairing: Elle Greenaway X BAU!Fem!Reader.

Genre: Fluff, smut and angst.

NSFW.

Category: Oneshot

Warnings: Sickness, food, drinks. Oral (reader rec), petting, making out. Also Reader has a mum living in the US.

Also this is a draft from a long time ago. I’m not perfect at writing, and Especially not at smut, so yeah 🤷‍♀️ also this was probably written quickly so it probably feels rushed and there’s probably a bunch of grammar mistakes 🫠

———————————————————————

You’ve never really been worried about anything bad happening to your family. They didn’t live as close to you and your job, and you never really worried about their health either. Everything seemed to go well. But you never quite know what to expect. A phone call informing you about your mothers heart attack was a good way to ruin your entire day.

You got permission of your boss to leave for the day, and you rushed to the hospital. The doctor explained how it was going to be all right, and she would recover. You stayed by your mothers side for some time, even though she was unconscious. You still had some things at work to get done. Some files that hadn’t been finished up yet. And even though you were really worried about your mother, you didn’t know what to expect when your work wasn’t done. And as your mother still was unconscious, like She had been for all the time you’d been there, you figured you would hurry back to the bullpen.

You entered the bullpen walking a little slower than normally, and with a frown formed on your face. You walked over to your desk when you were questioned by a coworker. “Y/N, where have you been?” Derek asked, head tilting a little. Honestly, you really didn’t want to tell the truth. You sat down and slouched in your seat. You opened a drawer grabbing a handful of the files you needed to finish, and stuffed them in your bag. You looked up at Derek, and saw how Elle and JJ were now standing behind him aswell. “Uhm..” Was the only thing you managed to say, staring off to the side. “I..I don’t really want to talk about it” You were met with confused looks yet worried, but met with silence. Maybe because you stood up before giving them a chance to react properply, and walked over to Hotch’s office to let him know you were taking the files with you, and that you’ll finish them in time. He of course was surprised why you had returned when you had more important stuff to focus on at the moment.

“I know, Hotch, I do. But I’m so new to this whole thing I just wanna get these done and distract me from the trouble until she wakes up.” You rambled out of worry and a slight panic. “Y/N, it’s okay, go home” Hotch said in a calm yet demanding voice. You nodded and turned around leaving his office. When you walked past Elle’s desk she immediately stood up to catch up with you. “Y/N, What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” Normally Elle would’ve let the person walk away. She normally would’ve shrugged, and turned her attention back to whatever she was doing before. But this was something completely different than normal to her. You stopped walking to be able to look her in the eyes, and have a normal conversation. You looked into her brown eyes, letting them study your face. Your heart almost melted at the sight of Elle being concerned for you. As a profiler, you could notice how she actually cared about you. But you never thought more of it, than just being a good friend. Because the thought of her being interessed in you was abnormal. Elle always seemed to good for anything really. And maybe she wasn’t even into girls.

You let your eyes fall down, and you bit the inside of your cheek. Debating on if you should tell her or not. “What is it?” She asked again, knowing something was wrong. Not only did she notice your behaviour, but also how you had visited Hotch’s office twice that day. “My mother had a heart-attack” You sighed, and brushed some of your hair behind your ears. Elle’s eyes softened even more. “Are you going to the hospital?” She asked, trying to meet your eyes. “Well, I have these files to finish, but I also want to be there for my mum when she wakes up, so I might do them in the hospital.” You explained, looking all over the place. Elle nodded along to your words, and almost started to frown herself. “What if I help you with that? We can just take it slow, alright? I'm sure Hotch understands.” She tried to calm you down, as you came of as very troubled and in distress. “Right, yeah. I’m sorry” You hid your face in your hands for a moment, then looked at the dark haired woman again. “Why don’t I help you? Let me take you to the hospital, and then accompany you there. You seem like someone who could do well with some support.” She said, holding your hands and then let them go, when you agreed. She quickly made sure that everything she had to take care of was done, so she could go home already.

——-

Elle went to hospital with you, and sat with you out in the hallway when your mother had to go through some tests. She sat down next to you, and reached you a waterbottle.

“Thank you.” You mumbled and accepted the bottle. But you didn’t open it. You just fiddled with the bottle in both of your hands. Hearing the water squish and the water moving fast in motion. Elle stared at you and your playing. Her eyes were studying you and she couldn’t help but profiling you. But honestly it didn’t take a profiler to know you were sad and down. Elle’s palms were sweaty and she tried to rub it off on her jeans. Elle could be quite a private person. Not one to always accept her company outside of work.

And perhaps you should’ve noticed that as a profiler. But everything in the moment was too overwhelming for you.

Elle rested a hand on your back, trying to show her support. She didn’t really know what to say. Other than admiring you, she of course tried to find the right words to say. But Elle just ended up sighing and left it at that. You didn’t wanna admit it in the moment, but Elles hand on your back made you try really hard not to smile or blush. Luckily, when you sit next to each other in a hospital, you dont see each others faces unless forced by yourselves. Would’ve been really hard to explain why you were smiling, in this situation.

————

And again, Elle wouldn’t let you go home alone. She was the one who convinced you to go home, and get some rest. That rest in the hospital wasn’t that enjoyable. Elle knew what she was talking about.

She drove you home, and while she was sitting in the driver seat, you couldn’t help but admire her features as she was so concentrated. And worried. You saw it in her eyes. It’s always the eyes. She bit her lip as a way to hide her concern.

She walked with you up the stairs to your apartment. Elle seemed like she really didn’t want to let you be alone, cause she could sense how bad you felt. I mean obviously. But between you and Elle, you knew a lot about each other. And that was also a realization for you, when you stood by your own doorstep. Yes, Elle was private, but to you she was more open. You’ve had your fair share of long conversations.

“Elle.” You said softly, looking at her confused. “Yeah.” She looked at you a little surprised, her eyes a little wide. Her mouth slightly open. “Why did you walk up with me here?”. You asked, even though you kinda knew why. “I..Uhm. I don’t know. Do you want me to leave?” She stuttered a bit, and she wasn’t really sure of what you trying to say.

“No.” You shook your head lightly. If you were to be honest, you would tell her how much you actually wanted her to stay. How much you wanted her close. That she should show you all her care and love for just one night. If that wasn’t too much to want.

But you were shy. And you also felt like it was weird behaviour. Even though, it wasn’t weird of you for wanting her.

You welcomed Elle inside and she complimented your apartment. You smiled lightly and thanked her.

—-

After a nice dinner made by both you and Elle, you decided you wanted to sleep. But you both knew you couldn’t sleep. Even after all of the good laughter Elle gave you for the evening, it was still hard not to worry. Elle asked you if she should stay the night, and you accepted. You didn’t want to be alone.

It was good that Elle distracted you with funny storytimes and jokes, making you both laugh. She made you distracted. You layed under the covers, your legs touching now and then. And everytime, you wondered how Elle felt about it. Cause to you, it wasn’t enough. Elle took your hand, when your laughter died down. And your eyes met for a moment. Elle was bold. You knew that. Elle took risks, and sometimes you could get so angry at her for it, with the job you had.

Elle was too afraid of saying anything. She let her thumb work around your hand, as a distraction for herself. You already felt like this way more intimate for two friends and colleagues. She scooted closer, and you smiled gently at her in the dark. But Elle was so close, she saw it. “What?” She smiled herself, and her eyes shined with being intrigued. “You’re close.” You answered shortly. Her eyes changed from shining brightly, to being afraid. “Oh, I’m sorry.” She tried pulling back, but you squeezed her hand in a second, and she stopped moving.

“What?” She blurted out.

“I don’t mind.” You explained. She relaxed her tensed up muscles, and you heard her sigh of relief. “Okay.” She whispered. “Elle..” Her eyes found yours again, and she could hear your soft breathing in the dark room. The only sounds besides that were the other people in the apartment block getting ready for bed aswell. But it was faint, and perhaps only your upstairs neighbour. Or the sounds of cars passing by out on street. In a swift motion, she let her lips touch yours in a gentle quick kiss. She wanted your reaction. And the one she got, was you pulling her back down, to kiss again. More this time.

Elle let her arms wrap around you. Her left arm around your waist, while your right arm took a hold of her shoulder. She sat up just a little, by supporting herself on her right elbow. She gave you a long kiss, pulled away and then curtly kissed down your neck before her fingers sneaked under the covers. She let her hand roam across your figure, before they went under your tanktop. Elle looked at you in the silence now between you, and you gave her a slight smile.

Her hand went up to your breast, letting her hand softly and quickly slide across, and then down to your abdomen. She leaned down again, to let your lips touch again. You sighed into the kiss, like everything had been resolved. All your thoughts about Elle had been answered, and now you were just lost in the moment. Elle’s fingers snuck under the waistband of your panties, and let the tip of her finger softly settle on your clit.

You had one of your hands on Elle’s cheek, by her hair. And the other hand was around her shoulderblade. She pulled away, and you both got some air, from a heated kiss. Elles kisses were steady yet passionate. Like she kissed with all of her admiration, mixed with being certain of herself and her love.

Your head rested further into your cold pillow, as Elle rubbed her finger in gentle circles. You let out almost silent whines for everytime she rubbed. Cutting yourself off. “Are you okay?” She asked, knowing that this might be too much of a step already. “Yeah, Elle. I’m okay. I just really want you right now.” You admitted honestly. And she moved up on her knees right between your legs. “Okay.” She almost smiled, but she knew this was a moment where you needed to feel serious.

She slided down your underwear completely, and reached down. Laying herself down. She kissed where she could reach before going to one of your most sensitive places. She carefully and gently, let her tongue rest against your clit. She got less and less careful as she felt like you were getting more worked up. Her hands held onto you, of course. Your hands gripped onto the quilt, she had moved to the side, before she laid down on the madrass for you. “Mhm-“ you were a little aware of your sounds, as it was getting late and you didn’t want any complaints. She kept her soft licks, roaming around with her tongue. Her fingers carefully rested at your entrance before she let the slide in.

You let out a moan louder than you meant to. But the feeling of her was too good. She looked up but didn’t even get a look at you cause it was so dark. But she could you tensing up, and at that she let her lips suck at your clit, as your hands clenched the white quilt.

Elle could only hear her name and your soft breathing and whines. She still tried not to smile too much, as she could feel you weren’t ready to let go. She let her fingers curl inside you, and find her rhythm. One of your hands gripped her hair, and you felt it all crash down on you at once, when you felt her like that between your thighs. And with a moan cutting off the other, you felt your back arch, as your muscles got tighter. You let go off Elles hair, and let your hand rest against the bed again. Elle kept going until she felt your high wearing off. You opened your eyes, which you had barely been able to keep open. Elle sat up, after her fingers slid out again, and she sat down next to you.

She gave you a long kiss, and you sighed yet again.

However, Elle didn’t think of herself in this moment, but you wanted more of her.

[rruhlreviews]

Book Review - Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

I finally read the book everyone was talking about.

I found it average. Solid 5/10. It wasn't as bad as I expected, but neither was it as good as some sources, such as the NYT bestseller list, made it sound.

This book is getting a long, detailed, passionate review because I found it so very average. It's been on my mind since I first heard mixed reviews of it last year, and I finally sat down to read it. Buckle up. This review was a ton of fun for me to write.

Introduction

Let's begin by saying, I know why this is a bestseller. Fourth Wing hits all the popular marketing metrics for YA fantasy and romance. There's a magic school, there are dragons, there's a rebellion plot, the love interest is a bad boy, the main character is a girl trying to prove herself. Furthermore, the book is bringing some new things to the table, like a disabled protagonist, and it's in the burgeoning subgenre of romantasy. Newness attracts attention. I won't rehash my rant about booktok for the third time, either. You know what that audience is like: drawn to tropes and flashiness more than technical skill and substance.

The part with Violet meeting her dragons, and the last 50-70 pages with the fight at the border village, grabbed my attention and made Fourth Wing not a completely terrible read. I was pleasantly surprised that the fantasy version of the American imperial machine is being set up as the villain (but also, the author doesn't get bonus points for fulfilling a genre expectation with the fantasy rebellion plot). It was interesting to read about Violet having to mentally unpack the nationalism she'd been fed her whole life. I could tell the writing about the trauma of military life came from the author's experiences and that was meaningful.

My favorite part, hands down, was the dragons. Big creature that headbutts you like a cat. It was an expected trope for them to judge by inner strength instead of external strength, but it's a good trope. (Though the dragons using colloquial dialogue was a turn off.)

However, the writing style and handling of disability in the narrative strongly brought down the book's score for me. There was a major issue with telling instead of showing, in which a lot was told that contradicted what was shown. The blending of genres, while not a bad thing, at times made it feel like too much was happening at once.

Let's dive in.

Style: word choice, pacing, and voice

1. Every time I started to get invested in a heavier scene, the style immediately drew me back out of it. The excessive swearing grated on my nerves. I don't mean this in a prudish way, but it made for a sloppy read that diminished the weight of any significant scene or emotion. How many times can you say someone is "F---ing beautiful?" Do the characters know any way to express happiness, surprise, love, anger, fear, or sorrow that isn't the F-word? It was repetitive and got old fast. Also, the book didn't get the memo you can just use 'said' as a dialogue tag. I was distracted by the amount of 'argued,' 'exclaimed,' 'refuted,' 'groaned,' and similar tags.

In regards to the writing style in the sex scenes, I'll be professional and just say the dialogue and descriptions grabbed my interest much more than the actual loving. 10/10 score for those scenes, solely for making me laugh.

2. I compared the pacing to what I remembered from the H Potter books, which isn't a compliment to either. There are 400+ pages of long, meandering detail about the school year and interpersonal conflict, which can be entertaining, but does little to make me want to turn the pages. While we're talking about comparisons, Fourth Wing even had a contest between four different groups of students. But I digress. 400+ pages of slow pacing, interspersed with minor action moments and the progression of the romance side of the plot, followed by 50-70 pages of compelling action. The climax of both the fantasy and romance plots were decent, but honestly I skimmed entire pages of the first and second acts.

There were virtually no transitions in this book. A scene started slow and then all of a sudden after a break was fast with major plot info incoming. Or, a scene ended fast and then jumped right back into slow school-year pacing with little follow through. I had whiplash.

The beginning of the climax was rough. Violet and Xaden work through the separation beat of their romance plot, nice, then they get roused from bed because the kingdom is under attack. Oh, something is finally happening and this has been foreshadowed! Nope, it's just a training exercise. I put the book down and went to bed when this happened. The payoff comes later, but the fakeout here was frustrating. Tension was not consistent or maintained in the story.

3. The voice was juvenile. I kept forgetting the characters were supposed to be 20-23 years old because they spoke and acted like 15 year olds. If you told me this was a fantasy roleplay to cope with gym class, I would have believed you. I almost got the sense this was intended to be YA, but the characters were aged up so they can have explicit sex, without changing other behavior or dialogue. Every antagonistic character sounded like a playground bully. I can't imagine any 20 year old talking like Jack. On this topic: characters who are nice to Violet are the good guys, and characters who are mean to her are the bad guys. That's a boring morality system, to say the least.

There's a part where the dialogue tag says, "I blatantly whine." That's 100% of the book. I would not like Violet if I knew her for real. I don't think I'd like any of these people except Liam. There's also a part where Violet is pensively reflecting on how normalized death is around here and how it's troubling that people move on so quickly after brutal happenings, but then in the next sentence with no transition moves to thinking about how sexually frustrated she is with attraction to Xaden. Girl, where is your self awareness?

Disability: intent vs interpretation

I have EDS and have much to say about how it was represented in this book. I know Yarros also has EDS, and I have no argument with her writing from her own experiences. The descriptions of how the ligaments don't work and the chronic pain were pretty accurate, as well as the dizzy spells triggered by strong emotion from POTS. "We need to strengthen the muscles around your joints" was painfully familiar. The way disability was handled as a narrative device, however, left a bad taste in my mouth. There's a lot of telling and not showing. Everyone tells Violet, including her inner voice, that she's weak, she's small, she's a delicate little flower, she'll shatter like glass, she's so frail and tiny. I got tired of this after like, two pages. We get the point. This goes along with my earlier note about the voice. It's so repetitive. I got angry by how much they kept calling my chronic pain condition a failing.

The characters say the theme is that Violet's mind made her strong while her body was not strong. But that is not shown. What is shown: Violet only has worth to herself and others when she gets physically stronger. This bordered on inspiration porn for me. If you don't know what inspiration porn is and why it's not good for the disabled community, think of those videos of people struggling out of their wheelchair to walk at their wedding. If a disabled person wants that as a goal, cool. But it should not be the expectation. Inspiration porn sends the message that you only have worth if you push your body past its limits to prove to everyone else you aren't weak. As if disability can go away if you only "try hard enough." Now, the narrative does indeed present these ideas as flaws of the mentality of Navarre's culture. "Kill the weak" is a terrible judgement system and it's clearly shown as bad. However, I get the feeling the author has some internalized ableism to work out. It reflects in the story. The idea that you must push your body past its limits to succeed was present in my interpretation of Fourth Wing, even if that was not the intention. Sure, Violet is stronger than other people because she overcame more pain, but she should realize that she didn't have to do that to be worthy, and she doesn't, at least not in this book. There's a scene towards the end when Violet is reflecting on how much stronger she's gotten since the beginning of the school year. She's going up a staircase and remembers when she used to be afraid because it didn't have a handrail, but now she's strong and doesn't need handrails and feels it was silly to ever worry. What? Just because you don't need it now, Violet, doesn't mean you shouldn't have had it before, or that other people don't need it.

Sure, maybe the author and some readers want a fantasy where the disability actually can go away. It didn't work for me though. I have EDS and could never do what Violet does. Does that make me weak or mean I'm not trying hard enough? No. Pain medicine is not bad, and using it does not make you lesser. I wanted to say, "Get out of my way, Violet, and let me have the magic medicine you keep refusing, maybe this will finally fix my shoulder." The part with the braces on the saddle was cool, but Violet's reaction got on my nerves. Someone spent days making you custom mobility aids! Stop being stubborn, Violet. If someone did that for me, I would cry. At least she did accept them and acknowledge how she was stronger because of the aids.

Here's the main point. Violet's disability only shows up in the story when it's an obstacle to overcome. People bully her for her disability and it's there to contribute to an emotional conflict and self worth issue. Dain sees her as weak but Xaden sees her as strong, and it's a tool for the love triangle. She's tiny, she's frail, yadda yadda yadda. But this doesn't actually stop her from doing anything after the midpoint of the book. In the third act of the book, her disability vanishes when it's no longer plot relevant. She still uses braces, but she channels a ridiculous amount of magic without burning out. In real life, chronic pain doesn't go away even after physical therapy, and it certainly doesn't go away after you reach an emotional breakthrough. My biggest grievance is, what happened to her hypermobility during the sex scenes? Girl, how didn't you dislocate your hips immediately with some of those positions? How can you even walk the next day after going for five rounds? You broke all the furniture in your room with rough loving but didn't have any pain from the physical effort, how does that even work? Violet's back miraculously survived the sex scenes, but mine did not, because I pulled it from laughing so much at the absurdity.

Thus concludes my list of grievances. Let's discuss where Fourth Wing fits into genre trends.

The Romantasy Subgenre

The blending of genres made it feel like Fourth Wing was trying to balance two main plots and wasn't able to fully go in depth with either.

One, we had the romance plot between Violet and Xaden which, in my humble opinion as someone who doesn't specialize in the romance genre, followed romancing the beat pretty soundly. It was overall enjoyable (ignoring the writing style and pacing). I will say though, I don't think the book knew what 'enemies to lovers' is. We have yet another incident of telling that contradicts showing. Violet keeps talking about how Xaden is bad for her and how their families are enemies and he's scary and she's such a bad girl for having feelings for him. What is shown: Xaden is the only character to consistently respect Violet. He never hurts her, and despite being abrasive, is kind and gentle with her. He makes her mobility aids, bends over backwards to prioritize her, and is great in bed. Another nitpick: at one point, Violet thinks of him as 'controlling,' just because he installed a lock on her door after someone tried breaking in. Girl, if you saw the 'controlling' characters I write about in horror romance, you wouldn't believe it.

Two, we had the fantasy plot, which in my opinion was the weaker of the two. We have a clearly epic fantasy setting, with dragons and a magic college and a hearty amount of worldbuilding (which was injected at weird times like dumping the country's history during a fatal balance beam trial or interrupting a sex scene to mention they have magic birth control). However... what happens in this setting? Typically from the fantasy genre, one expects some sort of quest. Much of the story felt like a YA school romance that happened to be in a world with dragons. There was a little foreshadowing to the fantasy quest throughout the school year, with censored information and border attacks. It could have used more foreshadowing. The parts where the fantasy half of the plot shone through were my aforementioned favorite parts: the scene with Violet bonding with her dragons, and then the 50-70 final pages with the reveal about the Venin and the ensuing battle. It was in these scenes that I felt the story was truly beginning, even though one was the ending.

It felt like the fantasy half of romantasy didn't begin until the romance plot was 2/3 complete. Additionally, there were times when the romance half took a backseat to the worldbuilding or foreshadowing what would happen later when the fantasy plot began, which made chapters drag on. Much of the book felt like neither plot was advancing. The two main plots made each other weirdly paced and some balls were dropped in juggling.

Final note on the genre blending: having magic tied to emotion is pretty run of the mill for fantasy but I couldn't get over Violet's magic being tied to arousal and how her libido skyrocketed when her dragon was mating. This reminded me of shifter romance without actually being shifter romance. (Didn't help that when Violet was angry, the narration said her hackles rose.) (And mind you, I say this as someone who enjoys shifter romance.)

Some people criticize romantasy for having romance. This misses the point. Audiences and markets change, and there are still countless options for epic fantasy with no romance for the people who are clutching their pearls. I criticize Fourth Wing for having a writing style that made it impossible for me to take the romance seriously and for struggling to balance two plots in way that didn't inhibit each other's development.

New Adult vs Young Adult

Fourth Wing simultaneously feels like young adult and new adult. Young adult: it has a coming of age narrative, and the characters' behavior and voice make them seem like teens. New adult: the characters are in college, and there's explicit sex and violence. It felt like the book couldn't commit to either YA or NA. I'd call this book YA written for people in their 20s who grew up reading YA fantasy and want to keep reading YA but with college age characters now.

There's nothing wrong with any of this, but Fourth Wing is indeed trying to be many things at once. I wonder if this contributed to the strange pacing and voice. Blending genres is a relatively new phenomenon, as is the new adult category. I don't think these are necessarily bad, but I think as we move forward, people will look at what worked and what didn't work in books that pioneered new adult and romantasy in order to refine future entries. I'm excited to see how it evolves, even if I don't write the genre or age range.

Conclusion

Yep. That's about it. 5/10. Some compelling plot points with a dubious writing style. I don't understand the hype but whatever. It wouldn't be the first time a book of this genre and quality blew up, became a NYT bestseller, and got movie deals.

Am I interested in how the rebellion will play out with Violet unpacking the nationalism she was raised with? Yes, that was cool and surprising. It felt gutsy for an author who spent her whole life in military culture to do. Will I be reading the rest of the series? Nope! I was not invested in a single character to care what happens to them next. The book never showed me a reason to care about them besides telling me I should root for an underdog. Nor do I think I could handle reading one more page of that "f---ing" style.

Mainly, I read Fourth Wing so I could use it in a bigger project about disability representation in genre fiction. Do I think it was good disability representation? Not really but I respect the author writing from her own experience and the part with Xaden making her mobility aids was sweet. The shown message that Violet only had worth after getting stronger despite what the theme about brain > brawn might have told, and the way her disability pretty much stopped being an issue once it no longer served her emotional conflict, really bothered me. And I gotta reiterate: Girl, you are not pulling off that rough sex without breaking your body.

I've been haunted by mixed reviews of this book for a year, and now that I've read it, I can finally say "I thought it was average" instead of "I heard it was average." I am finally free. I'm at peace.

Oh wait, I almost forgot to mention. Before reading, I saw this interview with Yarros.

What? There are two genders: romance and dragons?

I'm baffled. Speechless.

The end.

[cospinol]

supremely late as usual but yayyy it's finally time for the winter season's isekai (and rpg fantasy and miscellaneous reincarnation plot) log~ i initially expected the average score of the shows in this log to turn out significantly higher than average but instead it's only very slightly higher than usual because the one essential truth in seasonal anime is that everything will always let you down except for kingdom.

kicking things off is the one that i think is the most Actively and Consistently good , saijaku tamer, which is (certainly not incidentally) the one whose isekai aspect is by far the least relevant to/present the actual show, not just among this season's crop but across the entire genre as i know it : the 'reincarnated person' is not just a completely separate character from the protagonist, it's a disembodied voice in her head that no one else can hear (including the audience!) and whose knowledge/commentary she remarks on less than once an episode. it's the kind of thing that immediately makes you assume it's only there for marketing purposes but it's also not in the title or in any synopsis or trailer, so...? anyways this show made me cry during that trailer and then kept that momentum the whole time; it's absolutely laser-focused one thing, which is extracting as much feelsbait as possible out of various scenarios of ivy cautiously allowing herself to be foster-parented by different types of people (and animals) along her journey, which is also fortunately also the thing it's really good at (when the plot occasionally requires it to show you something else, like the worst action sequence you've ever seen in your life, it's deeply apologetic about it). what if kino's journey was moe! this is the platonic ideal of a 7/10

just below it in the 'you should've earned yourself a 7 as well' shame box we have ishura and chiyu mahou, neither of which is actively bad in its own right but ultimately can't cash the checks they started out writing. ishura does a lot of things right for most of the season, and while i know a lot of people bounced off its structure of 'half a cour of isolated character introduction segments, half a cour of these people showing up in the same place to kill each other', i love a stupid death game in almost any form it's offered to me. unfortunately, though, it ended up getting on my nerves by only distantly promising the eventual murder tournament and centring its actual plot around its military politics, only to reveal that absolutely everything that happened this season was just in service of taking a few pieces off the board before we go to the real plot, which will be... the tournament itself...... this is way too meaty an arc to just be a prologue but its ending is so dismissive of it that it makes me wish neither i nor anyone involved had bothered and we were just watching the tournament instead. it's such a shame... still, the actual pvp section of the show is excellent, and my favourite part of this entire anime season was when it aired its Bandit Vs Spider episode as an apéritif for the Bandit Vs Spider episode of kingdom later in the same week lol

it's hard to place the full blame on chiyu mahou for failing to live up to expectations when i know full well that when one of these shows promises that its characters will go off to War With Demons later in the season, it's never going to be the kind of detailed military campaign i want to see. the problem is that this series is very character-focused (..comparatively, for the genre) and all of its major character arcs and theming revolve around individual sense of responsibility towards one's role on the battlefield, so it's incredibly hard not to get your hopes up that that theme will be explored... and then find them dashed as we get further and further into the season having done nothing but increasingly basic training arcs and slice of life antics and more training and multiple episodes of flashback and even more training until momentum is completely at a standstill, and then we spend barely two episodes on what amounts to a single boss battle against one demon, before returning to training and time-killing with little no reflection on what impact the alleged war had on anyone involved. i was especially put off when the captive Strongest Demon Knight was immediately and effortlessly recruited into the main party (and then they make her train with them, of course); it felt blatantly harem-y in a way this show had managed to avoid up until that point and made me lose a lot of my remaining respect for it. the best thing i can say about that character is that it is a hilarious move to shell out for aoi yuuki for your main villain only to then down-pitch and reverb-effect her voice beyond recognition in almost every scene she's in (as if there's any viewer at this point who sees a big suit of armour with a conspicuously weird voice effect and doesn't immediately assume the person inside is a cute girl...? it's not a twist, guys)... anyways i'm grateful for the sequence of teasers for upcoming characters/arcs that this show ends with because it appears to confirm they're going to magic school next, which means i don't have to spend a moment wondering if the story actually gets good eventually

in the lower-achieving class is sasaki to pii-chan, which did manage to pleasantly surprise me just a little bit, though not in the way it was aiming for. the reaction it's obviously trying to get is "wait, it's an isekai and a magical girl show and a psychic secret agent drama??!!!!!!???? all at once?????!!!!!!??" by throwing the simplest tropes imaginable from each of those settings at you, so obviously i won't be entertaining that; the aspect i actually enjoyed was the simplest and most straightforward of them, its Standard Isekai Setting which is decently comfortable and, critically, the one that has lord mueller in it, who is sincerely charming in the role of 'the one kind of character i usually like in these things' and orchestrates a really fun little fake-succession-drama episode. unfortunately, back on the other side of the isekai portal in modern japan, there is very little fun to be had; the writing has and follows exactly one good instinct in immediately swapping out the unbearably irritating hoshino for the significantly more dynamic shizuka as sasaki's main scene partner pretty early in his employment, but even she can't do much to salvage this series's absolutely abysmal production and pacing. please, mr. sasaki, stop narrating events that happened to someone else somewhere else and let a scene happen organically for once, why don't you

mofunade's main raison-d'être is (or at least should be) being extremely comfortable, which it mostly succeeds at, even if it is on the most basic level of cute girl + fluffy animal service; its problem is that it actually also has a ton of action-and-politics plot for some reason (significantly more than saijaku tamer, for example) and none of it is good, to the point where i really couldn't think of a stand-out character or plotline to bump this up to a 5 despite there being tons of them to pick from. also, this is a dumb complaint, but i can't get over the main character doing all of this stuff while being four years old, it's so stupid and immersion-breaking for no reason at all, you guys don't know she's an isekai protagonist stop bringing your baby to the battlefield!!!!

akuyaku reijou lvl 99 scores a little higher than the chaff on sub-genre basis alone - and can you believe it, it's a villainess story that not only has a dedicated romance but a really cute one between a charming pair of characters with some extremely entertaining micro-dramas and one-on-one moments! unfortunately absolutely nothing else in the show is particularly good, and it has nothing to say about its i-know-the-plot-of-this-game causality plot and yet is determined to forefront both it and its baffling oppression metaphor (which it completely backs down on multiple times before suddenly concluding that entryism works don't worry about it) at the worst possible moments, including a big enough swath of the finale to leave a slightly bitter taste in my mouth - but ultimately the balance is in favour of yumiella's solo antics and romantic endeavours and i won't hold the rest of the show's trappings against it enough to deny it a low pass

at the bottom of this season's scores (with the lowest of our low 4s) is kekkon yubiwa monogatari which is such a default harem that i don't think i even have a paragraph in me about it, nothing is egregiously bad or got on my nerves enough to drop this down to the pit of 3/10s but it also has no real defining characteristics of note at all. the girls are all okay to cute (okay, fine, i do think nephritis kind of owns) the protagonist's a wet noodle with no romantic chemistry with any of them, the plot and set-dressing are trope-default on a level that's impressive even for one of these, there's nothing here to write home about at all. even the uncensored version of this is an archetypal 'semi-background noise while you do something else' watch

andddddd tsukimichi 2 doesn't get a full review since it's incomprehensibly entered a second cour (preliminary diagnosis: builds up a decent head of good-will by spending its first few episodes on non-makoto activities and then blows all of it immediately by spending the rest of the season spinning its wheels at magic school, go figure) but i want to mention it briefly here just because one of its stronger elements in my personal estimation is the Lich Boy Best Friend Main Party Member and it got absolutely smokedddddddd in that respect by... saikyou tank, a show that made it onto this list on the technicality of having a 'kicked out of the hero's party' plot, in probably the weakest iteration i've ever seen, if you're at the point where the hero has personally apologized to our protagonist and admitted that he's sooo much cooler and stronger than him by episode four why even bother? but that absolutely does not matter at all (nor do any of this show's myriad other idiot plot backwaters and protagonist-worship tendencies and basic harem nonsense) because it features one of this season's absolute best boy characters, right there in the main party, and that's the only meal i personally am here for. catch me on the right day and this high-6 score could easily be a 7, marius is so cute, that's all i ask from these shows really

[keptin-indy]

When the Angels Left the Old Country review

Full disclosure: I won this book in a giveaway, so I feel like I'm morally obligated to write a public review instead of just talking to people in real life about it.  You are free to view me as an unpaid shill, or a shill who has been paid with one (1) book.

A little background on my perspective: I am Jewish, but not very good at it and I have extremely strong feelings on Good Omens going back more than 20 years.  I have cosplayed Aziraphale more than once like 10 years ago.  I looked up a whole lot of Yiddish words before I realized there's a glossary in the back, so learn from my mistakes.

Overall, I enjoyed this book and was sad when it started wrapping up! If the idea of a Good Omens / Fievel: An American Tail crossover sounds like a good time to you, you will probably enjoy this book.

It's a very quick and engaging read, but I happened to start reading it right before the latest round of internet discourse on antisemitism, which made for a fairly distressing combination and a solid day of Jewish navel-gazing in the middle.

It starts a little slow, both plot-wise and genre-wise, but picks up in the second half.  By genre-wise, I mean that there were long sections of the book where I could practically forget that two-thirds of the main cast were supernatural creatures.  Yes, they talked about it, but after a short burst in the beginning, they basically don't do anything with it until the second half of the book.  Even with more going on in the latter half, this is a very low magic book, so don't expect a Good Omens level of miracles and major supernatural characters outside of the main pair.  Yes, they do exist, but this is a much smaller scale story.  This isn't a bad thing, it's just different and I want to set the correct expectations.

Also speaking of expectations, this is much more a Jewish story than it is a queer one.  Yes, there are baby lesbians and what is technically a non-binary character (though I feel that a being that doesn't have a sex to begin with is a very different, less queer thing than someone who is born into the presumption of having a sex and gender).  Now I am wholeheartedly in favor of stories where the focus is not being queer, the characters just happen to be queer people and the plot does not revolve around their identities, so this was fine.  But if you're expecting a romance focus, this doesn't really have one beyond the bog standard "at the end of the narrative, the people who seem compatible get together".  Yes, the angel and demon are devoted to each other and the story treats that as very important, but I've seen a thousand stories where the same level of devotion could be played completely platonically as well.

To quibble, there are some inconsistences, where the author forgot something they'd said earlier or else made changes during writing and didn't go back and bring some other things in line, as well as some things that aren't adequately explained in my opinion, but they didn't detract much beyond occasionally breaking me out of immersion to scratch my head and go right back to reading.  It could perhaps have used another editing pass, but it's far from a major problem.

Very mild spoilers with my opinions on the main characters below:

Little Ash: I'm going to be frank here and say I didn't hugely like Little Ash because he's the kind of character that seems designed to appeal to a certain demographic of YA reader, e.g. the nonthreatening Bad Boy, who is a Rebel with a reputation for Doing Bad Things but who never actually does any of those bad things except when they're morally justified.  If you like Loki in the Thor movies and complain about him being too mean in the Avengers, or TV show!Crowley, or any of the various YA novel love interests of the leather-pants-Draco variety, you'll probably like him much more than I did.  Of the two divine beings, he's the more fleshed out and the one who feels more like a POV character the reader is supposed to identify with, which I of course was a little irritated by.

The angel: The angel's relationship with identity is the most compelling thing in the book to me, but it is unlikely to be a popular character with people who don't view strong senses of Duty, Purpose and general lawfulness as positive, which is frankly most of tumblr.  I would have liked more emotional responses to the changes in its identity, but I guess it was also learning emotions so maybe I shouldn't expect that of it yet.  While becoming more yourself is a good thing, not all parts of the experience are positive at the time, and when it encounters some of these parts, the angel mostly shrugs about it and moves on instead of mourning the loss of what it used to be.  It's a very sanitized transition.

Rose: I like her, as the sort of too-sensible girl you find in middle grade fiction, which I have utmost respect for.  She felt realistically like a young person who did not know what she was about but was convinced she definitely knew what she was about, which is just how being a teenager is.

I wanted there to be more Grandmother Rivke.  This is my biggest complaint.  She was great.

[intoevernightfanfic]

💝, 📍,💋,🎉

😁

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Goodness, I'm gonna have to talk about several right now lol. Honestly, I was shocked at the response to At Your Service. Just so many kudos and hits on the first couple of chapters (it's been such a long period since I last posted that I can't say about now, but that doesn't matter). IDK why I was so surprised, because porn with plot does well. It happened with Twenty First Times, which was my pet project but I didn't think it would be that popular either, and yet for a while, it was my most kudos-ed fic. Anyway, insert pikachu shocked face lol.

On the flip side, I was really surprised that Spirits and Specters flopped as hard as it did. I thought it was cute! But I suppose it sounded too bittersweet, and gen fics don't do as well. As far as ship fics, I was a little surprised High Tide didn't hit the same stats as my other PWP fics. At first, I wondered if maybe it was written worse than those, but then considering that the other PWP from Tomoe's POV didn't do as well as the ones from Nanami's POV, I think maybe we just all want the story to be told from the POV of the hot fox's love interest. 🤣

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

(Sorry! ;3; I couldn't find📍so I grabbed the closest one in appearance!)

I don't think it changes too much in style. Any adjustments are based on the genres I'm writing for, but I still have my quirks and I still have my preferred flows and syntactical structures. I have a few fics that I've tried to be more minimalistic about (which I struggle with, because I feel like I won't be understood if I don't beat a dead horse LOL). I think, again, it depends on the subject matter and genre, though. Like, for instance, Arranged Marriage is a much more complicated fic than Twenty First Times. Plus, I have multiple POVs in the former. It's going to be a lot longer.

For the future, though, I'd like to limit to one POV and that will affect it a bit. Mostly I need this change because the amount of editing I've been doing is unsustainable. I need shorter chapters to work with.

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

Not gonna lie -- I do! It goes back to fostering community and opening dialogue with other fans. But I also understand if someone doesn't have the spoons or doesn't know what to say, and it's totally fine not to reply. I don't feel ignored if someone doesn't respond to me and I'll keep commenting. The only time I might feel a bit weird is if everyone else gets a reply but me. Then I wonder if I'm overstepping some boundary I didn't know about. I would 100% rather know if I've made someone uncomfortable so I can adjust my behavior.

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

Honestly? Not enough these days LOL. I don't think it's a secret that I've been very frustrated lately. And it's really no one's fault but my own! I have a tendency to chop things up because I fret over how it comes across, or if it's actually "bad" (even when I enjoyed writing it), and I've been putting unnecessary pressure on myself. I will say I have a huge sense of accomplishment and relief when I finish the first draft of a chapter fic I worked on, especially if it went on for a while. I typically enjoy reading the first draft way more than what ends up being posted (probably because I've read it to death by that point LOL).

Thanks for the ask, @liz8080 😁💕

[claireelizabethsblog]

~ January's Books Reviewed ~

January was a good month in regards to reading. Due to a lack of other obligations I read a lot, including completing a series that I had started the previous year.

Oathbringer pt 1 & 2 by Brandon Sanderson

(635 & 756 pages)

I am absolutely obsessed with this series. I read it under recommendation from a friend actually here on tumblr and I'm so happy I did. Sanderson's world is incredible, his characters are beautiful and the plot is intriguing and captivating. I genuinely would go as far as to say that Sanderson might be one of (if not the) best fantasy writers I have ever read. I did enjoy the first book in this series (The Way Of The Kings) the most I think, however I loved the character development of Shallan in this book. I would highly recommend this series to anyone who enjoys fantasy or found family books. They are a big commitment and can be a little heavy getting into since it's a lot of world building, but I would say entirely worth it.

I gave both these books 4 stars ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

The Last Smile in Sunderland City by Luke Arnold

(316 pages)

I confess that I read this while waiting for the last Sanderson books to come so I was perhaps not in the head space to read something else, however I was a little disappointed by it. It wasn't bad by any stretch, however it was not what I was expecting. It was still a fairly light hearted mystery, however it was not as humorous as I was anticipating, and the mystery plot was strangely almost not the main focus, instead it became more of a character study, or political commentary. It was a really quick read however (I completed it in a day) and I'm glad I did read it. I'd recommend it to anyone who is maybe looking for a quick, easy first try at a fantasy book. The world building isn't as heavy as other fantasy novels and as it is a stand alone it's an easier first step into the genre than some other tombs of books!

I gave this book 3 stars ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Rhythm of War part 1 & 2 by Brandon Sanderson

(659 & 742 pages)

I am not a crier generally, so when I say that the start of this book made me actually fully sob I hope that that acts as a stronger review than any words I could say. It was emotional and so well written, especially the depiction of ptsd and depression. I really appreciated how fresh the story still felt. This is the fourth book in this series and it would have been so easy to just keep working in a formula that Sanderson knew had worked with the big battle scenes etc, instead (despite the name: Rhythm of War), this story moved away slightly for the war and fighting and instead showed a different form of tension. This kept the story exciting in my opinion, especially as I am much more inclined towards reading more subtle/undercover style fights than big battles. Some story lines were more interesting than others, but overall I felt this was an emotionally draining and addictive finale to the series.... that is until I realised that apparently their might still be more to come?! Either way, my comments from the previous book remain - I would highly highly recommend this series.

I gave both these books 4 stars ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

A Sicilian Romance by Ann Radcliffe

(167 pages)

I know this is a classic. I know it is probably the original psychological horror. And I have so much respect for Radcliffe for that, however I did not find this book that enjoyable to read. It was simultaneously dreadfully slow and dull; and horribly complex. In theory, the idea behind it and the plot intrigued me but the characters were annoying and the style of writing was not engaging enough for me. If you like psychological horror books, I would recommend this, since it is where the genre started. It's a quick read for anyone who's wanting to tick classics off their list too.

I gave this book 2 stars ⭐ ⭐

The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake

(506 pages)

SOOO good! I loved the premise, and the characters are all so interesting and compelling. Some of them I despise with a burning passion, but in a good way! An incredible start to a trilogy as I finished filled with a desperate excitement to find out what happens next. I genuinely cannot reiterate how much I loved this book and how I would recommend it to everyone who in anyway feels inclined to reading anything in the realms of fantasy, mystery or general magic. I repeat: so so good!

I gave this book 5 stars ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

The Atlas Paradox by Olive Blake

(399 pages [hardback vers.])

Funnily enough, still so so good! I am obsessed with this trilogy and honestly the only bad thing about it might be the fact that I'm going to have to wait for the final book as it isn't published yet! I will say that I think I probably preferred the first one, but that is likely in part due to the fact that I read it a little quicker. In general, I find it is unusual to find a sequel that lives up to its predecessor so well like this. Again, I cannot recommend this enough.

I gave this book 5 stars ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐