#is when tango really felt that they like. became friends

[laddertek]

tango and etho joined server together and were getting ancient debris achievements...and four hours later at the end of impy's stream they're still in an isolated group together.

whatever the pet project is I hope we get to see a lot of the chatty downtime

[cielcreations]

"Hung Up"

When Solidarity confessed his feelings to Tango, expressing his love and desire and asking the other on a date, Tango immediately said yes. He was so happy and excited, especially since he had been crushing on the other for what felt like years. They went on a couple of dates, smiling, laughing, getting to know one another, having fun.

"So, does this make us boyfriends?" Tango teased.

Solidarity blushed and smiled, going to say something before he paused. He seemed to remember something, then sighed, "Listen, I'm going to be completely upfront with you because I do want to be your boyfriend and stuff, but I have this... ex..."

"Is it a crazy stalker ex?"

"Not really. Just..." The dirty blonde tried to think of a way to word it, "He and I share a big friend group and he has convinced them that I'm apparently still hung up on him and that he was so kind to continue being my friend even though we broke up. Oh, and the reason I haven't dated anyone is cause I'm totally waiting for him to come back!" He groaned, visibly annoyed as sarcasm laced his voice, "Hell, he's convinced my siblings of this when he's the one calling me drunk in the middle of the night!"

"Why haven't you blocked him, if you don't mind me asking?" Tango questioned.

The dirty blonde sighed, "It's cause of the friend group we share. I've always been really awkward, so I just became friends with my siblings friends and then when I began dating Scott, my ex, I became friends with his friends. I don't really have a lot of my own friends and, if I block him, everyone would make it this big deal, like I broke the law or something and I just..." He sighed again, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to vent..."

"No, no, it's fine." The blonde reassured with a smile, gently putting a hand on his shoulder, "I understand. It's probably really annoying and frustrating and I'm guessing you don't have a lot of people to talk to about this."

Solidarity weakly nodded, "...I just don't want to rock the boat. Makes my anxiety shoot through the roof. If I just go with it, no matter how uncomfortable I am, it'll be fine."

Tango hugged him, "But that's not healthy, Soli..."

"I-I know, I know... I just don't know what to do..."

"We'll work on it, okay? First step to fixing a problem is acknowledging there is a problem, so you're on the right track already!"

Solidarity laughed before he hummed, "Anyways, all this to say that if we do start dating and you get these comments about how I'm supposedly not over Scott or how you're 'just a rebound', that's untrue and ignore it. Scott and I broke up in high school."

"Wait, wait, with how you talked about this, this sounds like a recent break up! You guys broke up in high school?"

"Yep. And trust me, I know." He sighed, "It's why I moved here, mainly to put some distance between myself and the friend group and my siblings. I don't want them to choose between Scott and I, but I just don't want to hear how hung up I apparently am or how I need to get back in the dating field or if I ignore Scott or don't do something for him, I'm holding a grudge!" He huffed.

Tango hugged him more, "Well, don't worry, I'm not one to take shit lying down! If they want to poke fun, I poke back but harder!" He giggled, "In the meantime, why don't I introduce you to my friends? It'll be good to meet new people, plus it will help to keep your mind of things!"

Solidarity smiled, "I'd like that."

The two became an official couple, Tango showing Solidarity off to all his friends. Solidarity asked Tango if he was okay with him waiting before he told his friends and siblings, Tango not minding. In the meantime, the dirty blonde fit right in with Skizz, Impulse, Zed, Bdubs, and Etho. With his clumsy, adorable but sweet attitude, it meshed well with the chaotic mess that could be Skizz and Zed in the same room. Solidarity also got along with Etho and Impulse, the three usually acting as the peacemakers when Tango and Bdubs joined in on whatever chaos Zed and Skizz tried to bring. It was overall a great thing and Tango could see his beautiful boyfriend seemed to glow even more. It was like a dark cloud he noticed that was always over Solidarity's head seemed to finally disappear, especially since he's been on his phone or computer less, talking to that friend group less.

One night, the group were all at Impulse's house, sharing a few drinks and laughs, when Solidarity's phone buzzed. He hummed, a bit tipsy as he answered the phone without checking the caller ID.

"Hello-" He paused and his face fell immediately. He looked at Tango, who looked at him, concerned. Solidarity then seemed to get an idea, eyes widening as he smirked, "Okay, wait one second, hold on!" He put the phone on speaker, leaning into Tango, "Can you hear me?"

"Yeaaaah?" A Scottish voice responded in a questioning tone.

"Okay, good." He then looked at the blonde, playing with his hair, "Tango, Light, could you introduce yourself to Scott for me?"

Tango's eyes widened before he smirked, taking the phone, "Hello Mr. Scott, my name is Tango Tek, aka light of Solidarity's life, aka his honey, aka his handsome man, aka his soulmate, aka his rancher, aka his boyfriend, and we are actually currently in the middle of making out so we would appreciate no more interruptions! I know it's been awhile for you, but I need Soli's soft lips on mine, it is quite addicting! To bad you can't experience it! Buh-byyyyyyyye~!" He hung up, everyone laughing as the blonde gave Solidarity his phone back and kissed his cheek.

"Who was that?" Zed asked.

Tango wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, "Crazy ex."

"Crazy stalker ex?" Etho prodded.

"Not stalker level yet." Solidarity reassured, "But definitely crazy ex. From high school."

"Yep, that'll do it." Bdubs joked, "Anyone need another drink? I'm heading to the kitchen."

The night continued and everyone slept over, seeing as they were not going to drink and drive. Tango and Solidarity shared the couch, the dirty blonde acting as Tango's blanket as they cuddled and slept together. So, it made it very obvious when Solidarity got off the couch, causing the blonde to stir as his weighted blanket was no longer there. He sat up, glancing around before hearing something outside. Tango walked outside and saw Solidarity, very clearly frustrated, tears in his eyes with the tension in his body.

"...Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, i didn't tell you guys for this exact reason?!" Solidarity yelled, "...Yeah, you're my brother, and yet you constantly choose Scott over me! Don't-! ...No, you can't even say that, don't you dare say that! I've told you repeatedly that Scott makes me uncomfortable, that I don't like him being around, and you, with everyone else, brushed me off because I 'have to get over him!'" The dirty blonde said in a mocking voice with air quotes.

He was silent, before hissing out, "He called me! The only reason you all now know I'm dating is cause Scott can't get over the fact I moved two hours away from everyone and refuse to give him my address or pick him up when he goes out drinking! I was going to tell you all on my time, but of course, Scott ruined it because he fucking ruins everything! So, yes, I am dating someone! Okay?! Happy?! Bye!" He hung up.

Tango moved and hugged him, Solidarity leaning into him. The blonde rubbed the other's back, feeling Solidarity shake in frustration as his tears stained Tango's shirt. Tango cooed and rubbed circles into his back, kissing his forehead.

"I'm so sick of him..." The dirty blonde murmured.

Tango nodded, "Do you want me to block him for you?"

"No, it-"

"I can be the bad guy. If he complains, tell him and his flying monkeys that I feel uncomfortable with your ex trying to talk with you."

Solidarity hummed, "Later... Just hold me now..."

Tango hugged him tighter, "Gladly."

After everyone had woken up and began eating breakfast, Tango took Solidarity's phone, sending Scott a text and prefaced it by saying it was him and how he didn't feel comfortable with Scott talking to Solidarity when they were together and to please not text or call him anymore before blocking him. When the two got home, Solidarity had gotten a bunch of texts from his brother and sister as well as mutual friends he had with Scott, all saying how they didn't know he was dating someone new, asking why he didn't tell them, and then asking why Tango blocked Scott.

"The more they talk, the more I just want to go no contact." Solidarity admitted, "It's always about Scott. If I don't help him, I'm an asshole holding a grudge over the breakup. If I do help, I'm still hung up. Blocking him for 'no reason' is not okay and I need to let go. I'm just so over this."

Tango took his phone and shut it off, "Okay, let's just forget about electronics for the day. How about we do something to get your mind off things?"

"Like what?"

Tango kissed his cheek, smiling, "We could go to the bedroom~?"

"Oh my god!" Solidarity laughed, "Trying to get in my pants when this is serious talk?"

"Serious does not mean important! Besides, it'll make sure your mind is only on me soooooo~?"

"You're ridiculous." The dirty blonde kissed his nose, smiling, "Let's go."

When Solidarity turned his phone on the next day, he sent a simple text to everyone.

Solidarity:  Yes, I'm in a new relationship, I have been for two months. I didn't say anything because I wanted to wait and get more serious. I also don't want to jeopardize this relationship. Out of respect for Tango, and myself, I'm going to ask you to stop trying to get me to talk with Scott. 

Of course, people tried to ask more questions, but he made another text, simply saying "I don't feel comfortable sharing anymore details. Please just respect my boundaries." Of course, some complained, but he just closed his phone, ignoring it.

"I think they're starting to see you've developed quite a backbone!" Tango encouraged.

"Thanks to you, really." The dirty blonde smiled, "I really like you and our relationship means more to me than that friend group. Time to actually prove it, I guess."

"I'm proud of you." Tango kissed his lips, "I know it's hard putting down boundaries and sticking up for yourself, but once you get used to it, it becomes easier."

Solidarity nodded, smiling.

***

Solidarity didn't introduce Tango to his brother and sister and the friend group for about a year. Tango respected his decision and understood why, judging from their reactions when the dirty blonde first blocked Scott, he wasn't sure they would even accept that Solidarity actually moved on. However, it was Christmas and Solidarity explained he had been skipping the past couple holidays because he knew Scott would be there and didn't want to deal with the inevitable.

"It's been a year and we've been together ever since. Why don't we give them a chance?"

Solidarity was hesitant, "...I don't know."

"Come on, please?" Tango hugged him, "I can handle myself just fine, love! And I can shut them down! You know I can!"

The dirty blonde hesitated again before he sighed, "The moment I feel uncomfortable and ask you to pack your stuff, we leave."

"Of course!"

So, they made their way to Solidarity's brother's house, two hours away. Solidarity tapped anxiously on the steering wheel, biting his bottom lip.

"It's okay, we'll be fine." Tango reassured, able to see the other white-knuckling the steering wheel.

"I-I just-!" He took a deep breath, "I know Scott is probably going to be there and he's going to mention our high school days a lot." 

Tango shrugged, "Okay?"

"We used to call ourselves 'Flower Husbands' because we were teenagers exploring our sexuality or how he was my first relationship or how he was my first kiss or how he was my first whatever else." The dirty blonde rolled his eyes, sighing, "He's just going to try to embarrass me or make you jealous or something else."

"Was he your first? In, like, the bedroom department?"

Solidarity blushed darkly, "T-TANGO!"

"Yes or no?"

"I-I already told you, you were my first- oh..." The dirty blonde chuckled, "You are going to use that, aren't you?"

The blonde snickered, "Of course! I'll just mention how I deflowered one of the Flower Husbands and maybe it'll shut him up!"

"Idiot." Solidarity teased.

They continued talking and laughing, having an amazing time as they distracted themselves while driving. Eventually, they pulled up to the house and Solidarity sighed, taking a deep breath. There were a couple of cars already crowding the driveway, so Solidarity just parked in the grass. Tango was the first to step out, but the dirty blonde didn't move. He went to the driver's side, opening the door and kneeling down. He could see the other shaking a bit, biting his bottom lip anxiously, tapping his fingers on the wheel.

"It's okay." Tango reassured, cupping his face, "Soli, it's fine. You know me, I won't get jealous or feel threatened or whatever, no matter what anyone says."

"I-I know, I just..." Solidarity leaned into his touch, closing his eyes as he shook a bit, "I'm not worried about you..."

"Excuse me?"

Tango turned, seeing a brunette woman standing on the porch.

"Can I help you?" She asked, "Are you lost? This is private property."

"Uh, no, I'm not lost! Hi, I'm Tango, Soli's boyfriend!" Tango explained, standing up.

"'Soli?'" She repeated, confused.

"Solidarity?" Tango explained, "I-I call him Soli!"

Solidarity hesitantly got out of the car, Tango hovering over him. He shut the car door and smiled, but the man could see the anxiety written on his face still. Solidarity took Tango's hand in his, the blonde squeezing reassuringly.

"Hi Pearl." Solidarity smiled, relaxing a bit as he motioned to the blonde, "This is Tango. My boyfriend for a year and three months."

"Four months, really! I just wanted to take you out on a lot of pre-boyfriend dates!" Tango argued.

"Don't tell on yourself, Tango, my sister will think you're a coward for waiting a month to officially ask to be my boyfriend." The dirty blonde teased before looking at Pearl, "It's good to see you."

The brunette laughed, "Awww, you both are cute. It's nice to meet you Tango!" She walked over, hugging her brother, "And good to see ya, Jim. Come on! We're still waiting on a couple of people!"

They walked inside and Solidarity introduced Tango to Grian, his brother, and then some of the people in the friend group. Gem and Fwhip (who were twins), Joel and Lizzie (a married couple), Cleo, Scar, and Mumbo. All were polite, introducing themselves.

"Other people will be coming, but it's good to finally meet Solidarity's secret boyfriend!" Joel teased, raising an eyebrow, "Scott will be coming, hope it won't make you uncomfortable." He said in a nice tone, but Tango and Solidarity knew he was mocking the blonde.

Solidarity narrowed his eyes slightly, annoyed.

However, Tango just smiled, "Actually, it'd be great to meet the person who drunk called at two am and immediately hung up when I answered!" He said in the same nice voice before he looked at the dirty blonde, fake gasping, "WAIT! Do you think he hung up cause he had a crush on me?! Oh my god, Soli, I'm not prepared, where's the bathroom! I need to make myself presentable!"

Everyone laughed besides Joel, who narrowed his eyes a bit. Solidarity looked at Joel, took Tango's hand and kissed the blonde's cheek before pulling him to the couch. Everyone either caught up with Solidarity or got to know Tango better. Occasionally, either Fwhip or Joel would slip in a snarky comment about Tango blocking Scott or feeling uncomfortable with Scott, but disguised it as playful banter. Tango never took the bait, laughing it off or giving it right back.

At one point, he asked Joel, "Oh, so Lizzie must still talk to her exes, right? Seeing as you're so interested in Soli talking to his!"

Joel actually seemed shocked by this, responding, "Uh, no? Why would she? We're married, I wouldn't want her doing that."

"Huh, weird that you wouldn't want your wife talking to her exes." Tango looked at Solidarity, "I couldn't imagine that."

"Me either." Solidarity hummed, looking at Joel, "Anyways, what were you saying about Scott?"

That seemed to be the moment Joel sort of backed off. Fwhip still tried to get under Tango's skin, but Solidarity knew his boyfriend was a master of "not giving a shit". He watched Tango take whatever was thrown at him and either laughed it off or gave the same energy right back. He smiled and leaned into the other, happy.

However, after about an hour and a half, a couple more people arrived. Tango was introduced to Sausage, Martyn and Ren (a couple, Martyn being one of the ones who Solidarity actually talked to on a regular basis and who Tango immediately liked as the blonde whispered to him "Scott's a huge dick but has everyone wrapped around his finger, don't let him get to you or Timmy."), Big B, and Cub.

And, of course, Scott.

The man was last to arrive. He walked in and everyone, besides Solidarity, Tango, Martyn, and Ren, cheered, saying hi to him and giving him a hug. Scott laughed and hugged back before turning. He gasped as his eyes landed on Solidarity, smiling brightly.

"Dary, oh my god, it's been forever! How are you? It's so good to finally see you again!" He opened his arms to give the other a hug.

Tango could see his boyfriend stiffen up. So, he stepped in front of him and hugged Scott instead, "Hi! It's nice to finally meet you! I've heard so much about you from Grian, Joel, and Fwhip!" Scott pulled back, confused, but Tango held his hand, shaking it.

"Oh, uh, who are-?"

"It's such a pleasure to meet you! My name is Tango!" The blonde smiled innocently, "I'm Soli's boyfriend! We've been dating for a year and four months, not that anyone is counting."

"Three. You insisted on taking me on one month pre-boyfriend dates." Solidarity laughed.

"But we were still exclusive!" Tango turned around and gave Solidarity a hug, the dirty blonde happily returning it, "So that month counts!"

"You know what? It's Christmas, we'll let it count!"

"Yes!" The blonde cheered before he looked back at Scott, leaning into the dirty blonde. Solidarity wrapped one arm around his shoulders as Tango hugged his side, smiling at the other, "Anyways, yeah, it's so nice to finally meet you!"

Solidarity offered his other hand, seeing as the one was wrapped around Tango and too occupied for a hug, "Good to see you again, Scott."

Scott was obviously displeased, but smiled, shaking Solidarity's hand, "You too, Dary."

The man left to greet everyone else as Martyn and Ren walked towards Tango and Solidarity.

"Well damn, I like you." Martyn chuckled, whispering, "You sure know the rules of Scott's game."

Tango smiled innocently, "No idea what you're talking about."

Solidarity laughed, "Mar and I fake dated for awhile in hopes of Scott dropping the whole 'I'm hung up' shtick, and he's never acted like that."

"You got under his skin good." Ren complimented, the four looking at Scott, who was talking with Joel and Lizzie, "He's just going to step up his game."

"Good." Tango chuckled, "I hope so. Soli, how uncomfortable am I going to make everyone?"

"You have my complete consent to do whatever you want to do."

"Ohoho, that's dangerous, Love."

"It is for them, Light."

For the night, Tango stuck to Solidarity like glue, acting like the clingiest boyfriend in the world and Solidarity couldn't be happier with it. They mainly sat on the couch and talked with others, Scott moving to sit beside them occasionally. Because Solidarity was sitting against the arm rest and Tango was next to him, Scott simply sat on Tango's other side, even though he seemed a bit unhappy about it. The conversation flowed with people asking Solidarity how he was doing, if he would be visiting more, and asking Tango about his work, what he did, etc.

Scott would try to bring up something about an old date, but Tango would "accidentally" interrupt, telling a story about their first date or the time Solidarity taught Tango how to ice skate or the time Tango showed Solidarity a trick he knew on how to always win claw machines, even taking out his phone and gushing about the cat he and Solidarity adopted together that Solidarity named Norman.

"He loves naming animals human names, it's sooooooo cute!" Tango giggled before gasping, turning to look at Scott, "Oh, sorry, I hope you don't mind! I'm just so happy to finally meet everyone! I mean, Soli was so scared coming down here, thinking I wouldn't be accepted or fit in. I'm sure you've had to help him through an anxiety or panic attack before, right!"

Scott stared, "No, actually, I haven't."

"Oh, really?" Tango asked, faking confusion because he knew the answer.

"Wait, since when have you had anxiety, Solidarity?" Fwhip asked.

Gem elbowed him, "Dude. Not how you ask."

"It's cool Gem, I was only recently diagnosed so I don't blame him." Solidarity chuckled, smiling awkwardly before looking at Tango, "It was I think two months after I met you? So that's... what, two years?"

"That sounds about right." He looked at the rest of the group, smiling innocently, "He must've changed a lot since high school if no one noticed." He hummed, looking at Scott, "Poor thing was so nervous no one would like me! He was so scared no one would accept me because they all were hung up on you and your past relationship!" 

Scott narrowed his eyes a bit, Solidarity blushing as he let out a "T-Tango!"

Everyone laughed, either not noticing the slight accusation or choosing to ignore it, conversation continuing to flow. At one point, Solidarity had to use the bathroom, the man standing up to go. Tango playfully cried out an "Don't leave me!", the group continuing to laugh, talk, and joke.

"Oh, Tango, I have to ask-" Scott smiled innocently at the blonde, "-does Dary still get embarrassed over PDA? I swear, kissing him is like pulling teeth sometimes!"

"No, actually! He loves to share kisses with me! He's such a giver, it's adorable!" Tango giggled, smiling back innocently, "He's such a cuddler too, he's like a puppy sometimes!"

"I guess that makes sense. I was his first kiss after all, he was so embarrassed about it. I could hardly get him to stay still sometimes!" Scott had a sly smirk on his face, "Guess you can thank me for his confidence! He learned from the best!"

"Nah, it's thanks to me! After all-" He leaned towards Scott, whispering in his ear as he smirked, "-I was the first one to get him to spread his legs."

Scott blushed darkly, eyes widening.

"His entire body was red, he was so embarrassed the first time. But now? I can't keep up, half the time. You should see him on his knees, begging. He's so good at it. He really is like a dog." Tango pulled away, smiling innocently, "A good one! The best one!"

Before anyone could ask or say anything, Solidarity came back. He sat next to Tango, the blonde smirking at Scott. He grabbed the other's chin and pulled him in for a kiss, Solidarity kissing back with no hesitation, even wrapping an arm around his waist. When they pulled back, Tango leaned into him, Solidarity keeping his arm in it's place.

Solidarity laughed a bit, face turning red, "You're ridiculous!"

"You love it!"

Scott excused himself to the bathroom, Tango just smiling.

Eventually, dinner was done and everyone got their plates of food. Scott had come back and got his own food. Tango and Solidarity hadn't noticed that they had switched places (with Tango by the arm rest), so Scott sat beside Solidarity. The blonde went to move or say something, but Solidarity gave him an "it's fine" look and smile. Everyone sat around in the living room, talking, bouncing stories off each other, Tango excitedly listening to the stories of young Solidarity, who either blushed in embarrassment or yelled to "not tell that one!" They asked Tango and Solidarity questions about them and their relationship, what it was like living two hours away, if they had any plans to move back, overall having a good time. 

Until the alcohol was brought out.

Grian offered cups to everyone, Tango looking at Solidarity.

"You drink as much as you want, I'll drive." Solidarity reassured with a smile.

"Can you drive me too, then?" Scott asked, holding his own cup and beginning to gently draw shapes on his arm.

Solidarity stiffened, "I'm sure someone else can, Tango and I have to go in the opposite direction of your place."

"Awwww, you used to do it all the time when we would sneak alcohol." Scott chuckled, "Remember when we would steal my from my dad's stash? Grian caught us one time and was pissed!"

"Yeah, cause I thought Solidarity had never drank before, especially when you were both fifteen!" Grian teased.

Scott laughed, everyone did, but Solidarity and Tango. Tango held Solidarity's hand, rubbing circles in his palm to try and ground him as the other was stiff.

"Come on, I don't drink and drive and I left my car at home knowing about the alcohol! Are you gonna leave this power damsel all by himself?" Scott teased, drawing flower shapes on Solidarity's arm, "Will Tango not let you?" He accused, but said it in a teasing manner, everyone but Solidarity, Tango, Martyn, and Ren chuckling a bit.

The blonde could feel Solidarity tense up more. He smiled innocently, "Scott, why do you always ask Soli, are you still hung up on him?"

"H-Huh?! What, no, he-"

"Then I think it's weird how you always ask Soli." Tango said in the same teasing voice, though his accusation was more clear.

"He's right, Scott!" Martyn called, also having that teasing voice, "You know what, Ren can take us home! Ren's not allowed to drink outside our house!"

"It was one time!" Ren groaned playfully, both still trying to keep the playful energy, trying to ease the tension.

"One too many times!"

Solidarity was still stiff.

Tango spoke up, "Listen, if I convince him to take you home, will you promise we won't get a drunk call? Look how beautiful Soli is! He gets more pretty in his sleep and I can't have you ruining my eye candy!"

Scott flushed before he smiled, recovering with, "Come on, can't we share him? I mean, he already has me blocked because I make you uncomfortable, I just want to spend more time with him! He rarely visits nowadays!"

"Gee, I wonder why." Solidarity said, unable to mask his annoyance.

Tango stopped the teasing, looking at the other, "Soli-"

"What's wrong, Dary?" Scott asked, still tracing shapes on his arm.

Solidarity took a deep breath and retracted his arm, standing up, "Tango, get your things, we're leaving."

Tango stood up and grabbed his and Solidarity's things, seeing as Grian and Pearl stood up, trying to stop their brother, everyone else too stunned to move or say anything at the suddenness.

"Timmy, what's wrong?" "Nothing, I just want to leave-" "Come on Jim, it's Christmas, please stay!" "Both of you, move, I want to leave!" "You were never like this before, what the hell happened?!" "You know what happened!" "No we don't because you refuse to talk or visit us half the time!" "I've told you why, you just refuse to listen to me!"

Tango grabbed Solidarity's arm, pulling him past them, "Come on, Love, just look down, I'll drive-"

"Hold on, we're talking-"

"With all due respect, Grian, your brother is about to have a panic attack!" Tango glared, standing in front of Solidarity, protecting him as the other shook. Martyn and Ren climbed over the couch and tried to calm him down as Tango hissed, "I'm trying to get him away from people and in a safe place so he can calm down! So, if you'll excuse us-"

"Oh, and you know so much more about him than me, right?!" Grian glared, "You guys have been together for a year and yet you know more than his own brother?"

"Apparently, I do, he moved away for a reason!" The blonde hissed.

"You-!"

"Come on, Soli-" 

Pearl grabbed Solidarity's arm, "Guys, please just calm down! Jimmy, if you need a safe place, you can go in your old room and-"

"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND I WANT TO LEAVE BECAUSE THIS WHOLE HOUSE FEELS UNSAFE?!" Solidarity screamed, facing Pearl, retracting his arm, "THIS ENTIRE HOUSE IS UNSAFE BECAUSE OF HIM!" He motioned to Scott.

"Dary, what-"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" The man faced the other, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU COUNTLESS TIMES, I DON'T LIKE THAT NICKNAME! I DON'T LIKE ANYONE WHO ISN'T FAMILY OR MY PARTNER USING A NICKNAME! I'VE TOLD YOU THAT, OVER AND OVER AND OVER, AND I'VE TOLD YOU WHY, AND YOU REFUSE TO FUCKING LISTEN!"

"Hey, let's all just calm down!" Lizzie exclaimed, "Scott didn't do anything-"

"Shut up, Lizzie!" Solidarity growled.

"Woah, don't talk-"

"Shut up, Joel!" The dirty blonde repeated, motioning around the house, "THIS! This is why I don't come down here, this is exactly why! Everyone pushes my boundaries and then tells me to calm down, that I'm overreacting, that I'm being too sensitive, that I can't take a joke! So you know what?! FINE! I won't be back!"

"Solida-"

"NO! I'm tired of this, I'm tired of all this! I'm tired of being told I need to move on from Scott, that I need to let go of a grudge, that I need to just accept things, stuff that I have already done!" Solidarity looked at Scott, glaring, "I wish I never dated you if this is how you would react. Congrats, you've convinced everyone, including my own brother and sister, that I apparently am hung up on you! Despite the fact I have recorded voicemails of you crying, saying how you miss me, how you love me, how you wish we could go back to the way things were! Despite the fact I would pick you up so you didn't walk home drunk, and you tried to kiss me or make me stay the night! Despite the fact you would touch my arms and back and legs and I would not reciprocate, in fact, I would go stiff or tell you to stop, but you didn't care! Despite the fact I moved two hours away so I didn't have to deal with this! Yep, I'm still hung up on you! Tango is totally just a rebound and I am totally just waiting for you to confess your undying love for me so we can live happily ever after! Yep, that's exactly what I'm doing!"

He motioned towards the room, "And you all believe it! Let me tell you all the truth! Scott and I broke up amicably and I haven't looked back once! In fact, I blocked Scott, because I was uncomfortable, but Tango was gracious enough to take the fall because he knew the drama would stress me out!"

"Timmy, come on." Martyn gently pulled the other away, "You don't have to prove anything to anyone-"

"I-I am happy in my new relationship!" Solidarity whimpered, Tango hugging his arm as he was led out, "A relationship where I am respected, my feelings are considered, I can speak and not worry about if I say is the right or wrong thing, where I finally was able to grow a fucking spine! Unlike here, where I feel so shitty because you all make it seem like my comfortably doesn't matter." He was led to the door, "F-For future reference, if Scott is here, I'm not coming. If any of you try to make me apologize or try to reconcile, I will block you. I've been debating on doing this for months, but Tango thought I should give you all one more chance, see if you all have changed. Clearly, you haven't."

Solidarity was led to the car, getting in the passenger seat. Martyn and Tango calmed him down as Ren gathered his and Martyn's things. Once he was calm enough, Tango shut the door, thanking the two profusely. Martyn gave Tango his phone number, asking him to please just text or call him when they got home, Tango promising he would. Tango then got in the front seat and began to reverse, driving away. The dirty blonde gave him his phone, which was already beginning to blow up with texts and calls. Tango took it and shut it off. They sat in silence, the blonde holding Solidarity's hand as the other shook, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm proud of you." Tango reassured.

"...Thanks... You did really good... Not letting him get under your skin..." The dirty blonde shook, wiping his eyes, "I just couldn't, not when he began touching me..."

"I understand, Love."

"I'm s-"

"No need to apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. Boundaries are for you, not for anyone else." Tango looked at him, smiling, "You should be proud."

Solidarity smiled a bit, "Thank you." He whispered meekly.

The two sat in a comfortable silence, driving home.

AN: This was more of just a story of setting boundaries and me projecting onto my comfort characters. Hope you liked it even if it was more of a vent kinda?

[karrenseely]

Silver Linings

I just realized something. I learned about the existence of Trans people when I was 12 or 13 I think. I learned about us in a medical encyclopedia. It wasn't a lot to go on, but it definitely was enough. Two things happened when I saw that entry. First I wasn't alone, second I could do something about this.

I absolutely wasn't alone or the only one AMAB who was a girl. That lifted a huge weight off of me, I wasn't alone. People who've never experienced the feeling that you're the only one in the world that seems to not be the way everyone around you is, have no idea how hard that is, I sooo identified with the Last Unicorn as a child. Growing up, I had no positive examples of queer people. None. I can't recall a negative example either that was explicitly queer. There was nothing for me to reference what I was going through. I was taught like all young girls in our society that being a girl is inferior to being a boy (why? Why does our society do this? Even today? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! We're not inferior to men, we never were, but for some reason some narcissistic AH somewhere decided this and then a bunch of other narcissistic idiots with power liked it and here we are living in a patriarchal misogynistic society, which is absolute BS). But I was also taught that being a boy who "wanted" to be a girl (yes I'm aware I was girl all along, though it took me a long time to understand that, because... society) was doubly bad and horrible.

So I was completely ashamed and terrified of anyone learning my secret because I was the only one and I knew it was a bad secret. I'm sure there are other things that happened that taught me this, experiences with my parents, peers, teachers. But I don't remember most of them, and I don't really need to go into it here, as the sadly important point is that I learned very young to be ashamed of myself.

No one ever talked about people like us. Ever. There were the occasional movies involving cross dressing and drag, usually men pretending to be women (notice that key word that differentiates trans people from cis people. Cis people when they cross dress in performative ways are pretending to be the opposite sex or a gender outside the binary. Trans people aren't pretending, we are the gender we identify with.) like Tootsie. I liked the movie, it was nice to see a man who could pretend to be a woman and enjoy some of it. But I never identified with that character, not in any significant life changing way. Because he was a man, he identified as a man throughout the movie and I was a girl forced to be a boy. And most other instances of crossdressing in media were treated as a joke, including Tootsie. "Hello [shame] my old friend, I've come to talk with you again." (1)

So learning I wasn't the only person in the world that felt this way was life changing. It gave me comfort, which I sorely needed. But the second part was just as important. I could actually do something about my body and I could be me. And that gave me hope. Which was sorely needed as I was spiraling downward rapidly at the time. Months later as the horrors of my body changing became more apparent I came out to my parents in desperation, which instead of recognizing me and loving and supporting me, was met w/ dismissal, and attempts to erase me and increased the shaming tenfold. But the one thing that kept me going. The one bright star in that horrible darkness was the knowledge that I could transition someday, not as soon as I'd hoped, not as soon as I needed, but someday. It felt like an eternity away, but it was there, telling me to keep surviving to keep going because I could be me when I got there.

Had I not learned of trans people, I honestly don't think I would have survived my first adolescence. I would just be another dead kid with everyone wondering why I was so depressed and weren't there any signs? (I often wonder how many of the children that manage to kill themselves are queer. Based on proportions of homeless youth, I imagine queer kids are a very large chunk of that statistic.) Just learning about the existence of trans people kept me alive. Knowing I wasn't alone and there was something I could do about it. It was horrifyingly frustrating that I couldn't do anything until I turned 18, but I would be able to do something about it. So learning about trans people saved my life.

Just that one concept, that trans people living their authentic lives existed, was enough to keep me alive. And here is the silver lining that occured to me. Despite all the negative, bigoted, horrible publicity, laws, and hate. Our existence is being talked about a lot. Which means, kids who need to know they aren't alone, that they are not the only one's that feel this way. Are finding out that we exist. Yes they'll need to do research and understand that we and in turn them are not evil, not monsters, not perverts, But beautiful amazing wonderful and caring people. And because of that, maybe. Just maybe, a few more trans kids will survive and maybe even thrive one day, because they learn they aren't alone and there is something they can do about it.

I hope so. I really hope that is the case. I also wish we didn't suffer so much that way, too many of us die. Maybe someday, that will change for the better. (1) Simon and Garfunkel, "The Sound of Silence."

[sotogalmo]

7 — 8:55

I think it's silly of me to compare Daughter of Evil to William, yk? (cuz it's about a French(Lucifenian) princess/queen who's 14 years old, and William is a British business man in the USA around his 20s-40s(or so) at least)

But it's for the rose with thorns metaphor yk?

“Yellow-Yellow / Golden Hare” (fan-song, inspired by Tango version & Jazz Waltz version of Daughter of Evil) — @raccoon-in-a-dumpster , @lets-ignore-that , @thesharktist , @blizzardstarx , @send-me-a-puffalope , @vomitpukey , @connectionterminated13 , @dannybobany & etc (another song I made! The lyrics are short(ish?) but I hope you all enjoy it! I actually really liked working on this one!)

Song: centered around William and his role / area of power he holds in this series.

A beautiful flower, a yellow rose to say, will make them sway and listen to its tune and words.

A beautiful flower, a yellow rose, the thorns covered by oh so cuddly fur and adorable - admirable - personality.

A beautiful flower, a yellow rose, oh how can you ever say no to him? Oh how can you ever say no to the nice bunny?

A beast in disguise. The man was the thorns that were hidden.

A beauty on the out. Rabbit so fun and funny.

It brought the children to a “paradise”.

It's funny to think that his friend was the beast. But they were ever false.

For it was really not true.

For the rabbit so fun and funny, was the true beast.

“Ah, ahahaha! — .... I always come back ....”

Yet they are still hypnotized by it.

The children of the dead, circling a wilting rose.

The weeds that they are, will never be grown into beautiful plants that they were wishing to be.

The wilting rose soon became like them.

Oh, the bright yellow of its petals soon turned into a disgusting green.

Just like the steam and root of it all. Just like how the man truly is.

That pretty rose, evil as it can be,

Brought them a never-ending cycle of rebirth.

A sight to be sure.

Oh, how it was beautiful but now it lasts to forever show,

How the bunny man was truly

Evil.

“Ah, ahahaha! — .... I always come back ....”

Ah, but he surely never wavered away.

He was a prideful man, everything he thought?

Oh he'll claim it all! This earth, your life.

It's all his.

It's what he finds worthy,

That he'll claim it for himself!

Oh hidden in the dark, his petals began to fall.

No longer holding the beauty of it from before.

A mouth that only drips with dread!

The bunny still, dancing in the gardens,

Of belonging to a bear.

The weeds continue to nurture his wish. . . Ah, the cries of them became his power.

The aches and echos, only meet when they intertwine each other.

Her heart was longing for what she had hoped to hear,

What she had hoped to be.

But, a scary gator came, from the waters in his mind

— and out it pulled on his strings,

“We need to see that smile of yours evaporate.”

Having gotten what he wished,

To hear those words.

All he could say back is:

“Ah, ahahahaha! —” in that picture-perfect voice from before, “ ...I always come back ....” ; quiet voice struggling.

An act in a show.

That's all this ever was to him.

Smile never dimmed,

Unfazed by this action of his bear.

Oh hidden in the dark, his petals began to fall.

Even though its beauty is enchantingly demure — he thought he was untouchable — his petals was ever not pure.

No longer holding the beauty of it from before.

The thorns say it all.

The plan to bring his tyranny to an end,

Was planned from the start and the moment his false hood,

Fell off.

The people rose all against the King.

Ran by the only one he has ever felt human by,

A grey man with a torch (clutched within his hands) leads them to bring it all down.

The thought of failure didn't scare him anymore!

“ ... you ! ... INSOLENT BRUTE!”

Oh hidden in the dark,

his evil petals began to drip.

A mouth that only drips with doom!

What was once a paradise —

A dream fit for a king, can't sustain him

As he shakes in the red chains.

A beautiful flower,

A yellow rose to say,

A sight of evil to see.

The thorns covered by

Oh

So

Cuddly ~ fur and adorable - admirable - personality.

In such vivid colors.

That pretty rose,

evil as it can be,

Oh,

The bright yellow of its petals soon turned into a disgusting green.

The wilting rose soon became like them.

Yet, she will not waiver.

They'll all rot, only to serve him more power.

[owtenen]

Kill Me

Jimmy has 7 minutes left. Bdubs makes a decision.

OR

i cannot believe this isn't scripted.

_____

Bdubs could hear the chaos from the rock.

The ground must have been shaking, the fireworks lighting up the night sky and the screaming was all too much for his sensed, and he stopped to take a moment and breath, pressing his hands to his ears and drowning out the sounds.

He heard Etho run past, but he was too busy trying not to have a panic attack to really see him. He should look up, he should ready his shield, he should ask if everyones okay.

He could also just stand here, hands to his ears and eyes screwed shut. If he stayed here for long enough, maybe it would all go away. Maybe he would be back on Hermitcraft with his friends, or laughing with Scar while they built the tower. Maybe he could go back to the snow fort, where Etho was teasing him about stairs and chests.

Maybe he could be happy.

Another loud boom rocked Bdubs off his feet and into the cliff side, he felt his hand graze along the sharp rock, and felt the warmth of his own blood flow down his arm. This was no time for daydreaming, this was war. He checked his watch: he had time, but if he stood there too long he wouldn't.

He looked up at the remains of the Bread Bridge. It was weird that what was first built as a trap now became a safe haven for the Clockers. They used it to cross safely across the forest, to visit their best alliance. He stepped up onto it, immediately feeling safer than he felt down on the ground with everyone screaming.

He looked up at his tower, there was a massive hole in the side from when Skizz, Impulse, and Tango blew it up. He thought about them for a few moments, wondering for a brief moment how his best friends had turned into his worst enemies.

Because of himself, he realized. Because his actions of betrayal made him untrustworthy.

He turned to look away from the tower feeling guilty, walking further down the bridge towards the mansion. When he looked up he saw Etho looking down, his eyes were wide with adrenaline, and Bdubs has seen that look enough to know when someone was recovering from the Boogie curse.

"Who did you get?" The question was simple enough, but Bdubs cringed when he noticed how emotionless the question was. Whoever Etho just killed was a friend, he shouldn't treat them like a game.

Etho took a few deep breaths before replying, "Jimmy...."

Bdubs only thought for a moment about the answer, before being pulled out of the momentary state of calmness by the insane amount of people suddenly next to him. I guess everyone down below had the same idea, the bridge was better than the rock.

He looked down the bridge to where Jimmy was tripping over himself, Joel was there too, and the fear in his eyes was evident even from where Bdubs was standing.

“You’ll be okay Jim-“ Joel’s panicked voice echoed down the bridge, and Bdubs zoned in to the conversation, “We’ll- we’ll kill someone. We’ll get your time back. I promise.”

Jimmy tripped and almost fell off the bridge, and Bdubs cringed at the panic that rose inside of him. Why would he care? It’s just Jimmy.

“I need Scott…” Jimmy was on the verge of tears, and the timer around his neck was flashing angry red. Bdubs stared at it, almost mesmerized.

“How much time do you have left?” It wasn’t even really him speaking, at least it didn’t sound like it. His voice was horse from the past hours of screaming, and the pain in his arm was causing little speckles to form in his vision. It was probably broken, he’d need to tell Cleo.

“7 minutes.” Jimmy’s eyes were wide and terrified, and Bdubs recognized it immediately.

He thought about Tango again, and how angry he had been when Bdubs killed him. It had been for his own survival, but Tango had felt betrayed. In the end, it ruined his friendship and he had payed the price for it time and time again.

He thought about Impulse too. How confused and horrified he was when Bdubs killed him all those lives ago. The feeling of regret he felt when he realized it was Impulse’s gift that had sealed his fate. He needed to win back then, and he would’ve done anything to do it.

He thought of Etho last. Etho and his ultimatums. Etho and his quid pro quo’s. He had wanted to kill Etho so bad. He wanted Etho to be red with him and destroy the world together. He wanted to hurt the one man he loved unconditionally so they could be together, and it made him sick to think about it.

“Kill me.” He couldn’t let Jimmy die here. He couldn’t let another one of his allies die when he could have saved them.

“What?” Jimmy loaded his bow, but his hands were shaking.

“Kill me!” Bdubs said louder, and he felt an arrow pierce through his shoulder. “Kill me!”

Another one went through his stomach, and that’s when he blacked out.

When he woke up back on the rock, the chaos hadn’t died down. The voices were still relentless against his ears and his senses were still overloaded. But despite it all, he smiled.

It might not be enough to resolve all his guilt. But he sure did make a start.

———

gonna throw up and then go back to studying bdubs under a microscope

[boliv-jenta]

Charlie SNL x f!reader

Warnings: angst, infidelity, trauma rehab, unprotected P in V sex.

WC: 3.8k

Rehabilitation

Previous part | Masterlist

Charlie was awake. The relief you felt was immeasurable. The call had come from his best friend, Jake. Your stomach lurched at the thought that he knew what was going on between you. They were close and you knew him pretty well from work. You'd even gone on business trips together before Charlie had transferred departments. No, Charlie would have told you if he knew. 

"Hey. I thought you'd want to see him. He mentioned you." Jake greeted you with a hug. "The doctors, Morgan and his sister are in with him now.

After what felt like forever as you insides chewed themselves up. Charlie's sister and his wife emerged followed by the doctors. The doctors and his sister turned right away from you. Morgan lingered for a moment, wiping tears from her eyes before her gaze caught you.

"Morgan? How is he?" The nerves were evident in your voice, you hoped that was the only thing.

"He's awake. He's more coherent now. At first he was talking but it made no sense. He was slurring under his breath about LA and candles. The doctor thinks he was dreaming in his semi conscious state. I spoke to him, told him I was his wife he said 'Not today'." She laughed until fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. "He rambled on a little more then said something very clearly. He asked for you." Your heart stuttered. "His sister thinks he's so sweet. Like he wanted to check on you because you were there. I know differently. I know he's asking about you because you are fucking my husband."

"I…" you began but there were no words.

"Don't. Just don't. Don't deny it or justify it. It's done. You need to break it off. You are never to come near my husband again. My husband. You need to quit your job. You need to stay away from him so we can fix our marriage. Don't you dare tell him that I know, you tell him it's over and that's it." Despite the fact that she was shaking with rage, her voice was calm and steady.

Behind her Jake approached. "There you are, Charlie's asking for you. Both of you actually."

Barely holding yourself together you found enough voice to speak. "You know. He'll be pretty overwhelmed if we all go in. I'll see him another time. Tell him I'm so happy he's awake."

Work became your focus again. You threw yourself into it, let it consume you. It was better than letting your thoughts consume you. It also kept you out of the house. Daniel was busy too, so he didn't question it, or moan about it. 

A month passed and Charlie called every day. The first time you had answered. His voice sounded different, his words were slightly slurred, it was still nice to hear him. Part of you wanted to just keep him talking, to delay the pain. Trying to do the right thing, you had broken it off with him without mentioning Morgan's words. 

Every day after that, his calls went to voicemail. Every day he asked just for you to talk to him. As much as it ate you up inside, you had to ignore it. Giving Charlie and Morgan some space was the least you could do. Charlie might be a grown man, capable of making his own decisions but as the saying goes it takes two to tango. You had to hold yourself responsible for your actions and try to make up for them.

When the phone calls stopped was when your heart finally broke. That was when things between you were really over. You reminded yourself that you deserved the pain. It was only what you had caused. You deserved to wallow in it. 

One Sunday afternoon that's exactly what you did. Daniel was, thankfully, out on a fishing trip. The house was quiet, the only sounds were of your thoughts haunting you. Laying in bed you let them pile over you until it was just a blanket of white noise. 

You had no idea what time it was when your phone rang. "Hello?"

"Baby, just hear me out. Please." Charlie's voice, he sounded like his old self. The one from before the accident. The one who held you, kissed you, loved you. Every feeling for him that you had pushed down inside erupted to the surface. Tears spang to your eyes, your throat became thick with emotion. He took your silence as permission to continue. "Morgan left me. She couldn't cope with all of this, with all the help that I need. The thought of having to care for me for the rest of our lives, she wanted out. She told me that she'd warned you to stay away. Baby?"

"I'm here. I…I didn't want to stay away but I had no choice. I couldn't cause more problems for you. Not after…" The words stuck in your throat.

"After what?"

"Your accident was my fault." 

"How?! Why would you think that?"

"If I hadn't asked you to come on the trip…"

"If I hadn't gone on the trip, I might have been hit by a car and killed somewhere else. I could have gone out for dinner and choked to death. Honey, you can't do that to yourself. None of this was your fault. None of it. You hear me?"

"Yes."

"Will you come visit me? They moved me to a facility to do my rehab."

"Does tomorrow work for you?"

"Well, I have a dance competition in the morning and skateboard practice in the afternoon." He quipped. "How about lunch?" 

"Lunch sounds perfect." You cradled the phone was Charlie gave you the address.

As far as work was concerned you were having a personal day. As far as your husband knew you were at work. The rehab facility wasn't what you were expecting at all. It was rather homely. The main reception area and the open plan lounge was cheerfully decorated. Flowers and plants were dotted around. It made you feel slightly better about seeing Charlie. All this time you thought he was stuck in some cold, clinical place. The thought of him being comfortable offered you some solace. The walk to his room rattled your nerves with each step. 

Even the bright smile and gentle tone of the nurse who escorted you couldn't keep them in check. "He's been talking about you since he got here. I'm glad you could come."

"Me too." It didn't come through in your tone but you really were. 

All this time with Charlie being awake but out of reach was oddly just as torturous as the coma. As much as you were nervous to see how he was, nothing could take away from the joy of finally getting to see him again. Well, almost nothing. The sight of Charlie sitting in his room knocked you back. His build was a lot slimmer, though that was to be expected. His muscles had wasted during the time he was inactive. There was a slight scar on his temple. He was sitting in a wheelchair rolled under a table by the window. A therapist sat opposite him, encouraging him through his exercises. He was currently squeezing a small ball. Each squeeze of his hand making his arm tremble with effort.

"Good, Charlie. A couple more." His therapist sounded more pleased than Charlie looked. 

A frustrated grimace twisted his beautiful features as he pushed through two more squeezes. 

"Done." His therapist smiled. "And just in time for a visitor. I'll see you tomorrow, Charlie."

Both the therapist and the nurse left the two of you alone, closing the door behind them. It was as if the air left with them. There was too much to say and no words would come. 

Charlie could feel your hesitancy. "That smells good." He nodded to the bag in your hand. 

"Oh. It's Marco's." Having a task to focus on made you feel better. Crossing the room you laid out the take out. As you set the cutlery down, Charlie caught your hand.

"Thank you for coming." He released your hand and turned his attention to the food before he made you too uncomfortable. He knew you blamed yourself for his accident. He knew he wasn't exactly a catch in his current condition so he had no right to expect thing's to go back to where they were between you. You had come to see him, that's all he could ask for.

Charlie tucked into his meal as you picked at your lasagne absently. Your attention was taken by the tremble of Charlie's hands as he cut his chicken. Frustration got the better of him as he dropped the knife down onto his plate.

"May I?" You gestured to his plate.

"You don't have to." He couldn't even look at you.

"I know. I want to." You took up his knife and fork to cut some pieces for him.

"Thank you." He ate a few more pieces before setting his fork down.

"I still can't eat too much. Between my appetite and my jaw."

"Is that normal, after a coma I mean?"

"That part is. It's my legs that they're worried about. There's a chance that there's some permanent damage there."

Tears welled in your eyes. "Hey. I'll take a little damage over the alternative. I'm alive. I'm here with you. I'm pretty damn lucky." His hand had found its way over yours. It was warm and reassuring. He was right. He was here. He was alive. No matter what else was going on, you should be thankful for that.

Soon, your quiet moment of thanks was interrupted by a yawn from Charlie. "Sorry, I usually take a nap about now. Physical therapy can be exhausting."

"Oh. Maybe I can come back another day?"

"Stay? I mean you can stay if you want. I'll let you take a spin in my chair while I'm asleep."

"As tempting an offer as that is. I'd rather stay here with you."

"The bed is big enough for both of us if you want to join me? You look a little tired."

Truth be told, you were exhausted. The night hadn't offered much rest to you. It had only amplified your thoughts. "I am and I'd like that very much."

With some effort, he pushed himself over to the bed. Carefully, he put the break on before putting his feet on the ground. He managed to stand, barely, before falling forward onto his forearms.

"Charlie." You couldn't help but surge forward to help him. 

"I'm good." He rolled onto his side. "I'll admit I may have lost some of my grace while I was in the coma. And I usually do get help with this part."

The extent of his injuries hit you. Charlie was the most independent, self reliant man you had ever met. Suddenly, you didn't know what to do for the best. Did you offer help? Would he be offended? Would he think you didn't care if you didn't? Tears welled in your eyes again. "Sweetheart. It's alright. Maybe my joke telling ability took a hit too."

"I just don't know what to do. I want to help you."

"You just being here is helping." He reached for your hand. "Taking my shoes off would help too." He added with a smile.

Laughing you took off his shoes before you removed your own and climbed in with him. In no time at all, the two of you drifted off into a peace nap. It was the best sleep you'd had in a while. The sun was still high in the sky when you woke up. A look at the clock showed that you'd been asleep for a little over an hour.

"Hey, Beautiful." He pressed a kiss to your cheek.

"Hey, Handsome." You returned his kiss to the corner of his mouth. It was suddenly just like old times. The moments when the two of you were on the edge of something more. All the pros and cons pushing you from either side keeping you pinned in place. After a beat, his lips over yours. The kiss was a little less coordinated, his lips a little sloppy on yours but it was no less perfect. His body moulded over yours. 

"God, I missed you." He breathed into your neck.

"I missed you too." Your breath hitched as his hands slid under your shirt. Having his hands on your bare skin lit the same fire it had the first time. A desperate need for him burned away all rational thought. All that filled your head was thoughts of his lips on yours. The path of his hand, running over your breasts then all the way to your thighs to gather the material of your skirt. As he pushed it over your hips. You pushed at the sweatpants. His eager length pressed into your thigh. Pushing your underwear to the side, to slip himself inside you. Every inch filling you felt like heaven to the both of you. For a while you were content just to lie there, intimately joined with him. His first thrust had you calling his name. The second had your fingers digging into the flesh of his ass, wanting to keep him impossibly deep inside you. He was alive, he was with you, you were whole again. 

"I love you." You moaned into his lips. 

This prompted a few harder thrusts.

"Fuck. I…love…you…I…love…you. Uh.." he panted as he came suddenly. His warmth spread inside you as he filled you. 

"Shit. S-orry. I…" his head dropped to your shoulder as he caught his breath.

"It's okay." You kissed at the slight blush of his cheeks.

"Let me make you cum." He raised up off of you, moving to touch you, his hands trembling.

"I'm good." You caught his hand, lacing your fingers with his. "That was still incredible."

"I'm sorry. It's been a while I haven't even been able to jerk off, with…" He lifted his hand.

"Hey. I should take it as a compliment. After all this time, I can still get you so riled up." You lazily kissed the shell of his ear and up into his hairline, noting the new scar on your way. 

"Oh, you definitely can. You give me twenty minutes….plus another six months of rehab and I will show you just how much." He playfully returned your kisses. 

The tears came to your eyes again.

"I'm just not landing any of these jokes." He pulled out of you, gently replacing your underwear as he did. Dropping to your side, he pulled you close.

"I'm sorry. It's just a lot. I'm sorry. It's not even happening to me and I'm getting overwhelmed. I'm so sorry."

"Baby, that was three sorrys too much. I get it. I've cried, I've screamed about it. I've just had more time to adjust. I cried over losing you. I was a mess. Then I accepted it all. I made a plan to move forward. Then you answered my call and I cried again. They were good tears though."

"Me too."

"Yeah? So I think we've done our fair share of crying. Now it's out of our system, how about we get moving forward? I'm assuming this means that you want to?"

"Oh no. This was just because I can't resist a guy in sweatpants."

"Damn, I've been living in sweatpants. If I'd have known that's all it would have taken I would have sent you a thirst trap."

"Feel free to anyway."

"Seriously, I know this is a lot to deal with but I'm going to get better. I'm working hard. I'll be the man you fell in love with again…"

"Charlie, you are the man I fell in love with. This doesn't change that."

"I can't offer you the same excitement I did before. As you can tell from today, our sex life might take a hit…."

"None of that matters. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Besides you can always send me that sweatpants picture and I can handle my sex life myself."

Charlie giggled like a naughty school boy. "Man, I love you."

Eventually, the two of you moved to get cleaned up. Charlie let you help him into his shower, on the condition that you joined him and he could made you cum at least once. With the help of the shower head he accomplished that while you sat in his lap. Your soft sighs in his ear as you came down from your high tugged at his heart. This is what he wanted. You, happy, relaxed. He wanted this for his everyday life. Marrying Morgan had been a mistake. He'd felt pressured by his family and friends who saw them as a perfect couple. On paper they were, and he did love her at the time, or he thought he did. Their relationship wasn't necessarily bad, just complacent. There wasn't enough love there for them to go out of their way for each other on instinct. It was a conscious effort day. Not like the love he saw from his mom and dad growing up. They always thought of each other. They would put themselves out to do the jobs around the house that neither of them wanted to do. They'd accommodated each other's needs without it being a big discussion. They had a natural rhythm between them. Just like he had with you when you worked together. For the first time in a while his future was bright again.

Helping Charlie around was hard at first but you found a rhythm. Similar to how you were in business and in bed. For the first time in your life, you felt like you had a true partner. Before you left, he let you push him down to the common room. It was no surprise to find that he was quite popular, a few people vied for his attention as you entered. You didn't blame any of them for being pulled to him. Charlie's heart and warmth shone out of him like a beacon.

The drive home wasn't far, it passed in the blink of an eye thanks to you being so distracted by your thoughts of Charlie. The lights were on and Daniel's car was in the driveway when you pulled in behind him. Daniel was cooking when you walked through the door. Following the scent you found him at the stove.

"That smells good." You told him as you hung you jacket in the hall closet.

"I'm glad you think so since it's your favourite." He moved to plate up as you walked further into the kitchen. 

Carrying your plates to the table, he pressed a kiss to your cheek as he passed. Setting yours down he motioned for you to sit. "How was work?"

"Fine. Busy as usual." Focusing on your food, you didn't catch the look on his face.

"That's funny because I called your office. They said you were taking a personal day….."

Next

Tags @kirsteng42 @prolix-yuy @thegreenkid2 @hquinzelle @fangirl-316 @gracie7209 @jedifarmerr @doommommy @scorpio-marionette @sturkillerbase @harriedandharassed @aynsleywalker @mswarriorbabe80 @quica-quica-quica @rise-my-angel @adancedivasmom @graciexmarvel @kinda-nobody @movievillainess721 @munsonownsmyass

[hybbart]

So, you have given me jimmy brainrot for the jimmy kidnaps everyone au, and now u give you this.

I think the only possible way to a "good" ending would be that when everyone is freed near the end, if jimmy has a full breakdown and confesses his feelings of abandonment going at least as far back as Evo smp and how it's gotten so much worse during and around empires 2. Then everyone realizing that despite jimmy being so dearly loved by so many, they never showed him that love openly, to the point his perception grew twisted and he was so desperate to be shown love in return for the love he felt for his friends/family (some of whom may not even remember their past lives like listener!jimmy could (and maybe even more tragically for those who DID remember, but didnt treat him well regardless)) that he felt trapping them in a scenario of required "mutual" affection was his only opition. So seeing how their actions, or inactions, contributed to this horrible situation, they all band together and have a cathartic moment of healing, knowing that everyone has been hurt and none of their friendships will ever be the same, but wanting to put in the work to reach a healthier place.

I have so many thoughts, and no writing ability, but I wanted to share this lol

That is a directoon I considered. I think it would depend on how traumatizing the experience would be, though, cause it can get into victim blamey territory if you aren't careful with the writing, ensure it isn't done out of guilt.

I think Tango, Scar, and Grian would be the most likely to outright forgive him in a vacuum. Grian is his brother and more powerful so ultimately even if Jimmy won over him briefly I think he would be confident in his abilities to stop Jimmy and also some obligation as the only other eldritch being. And Scar's just Like That.

Tango... he'd be quick to forgive and I think he would say as much, but I also think that Tango would be the most traumatized by it all because of his personality. And the fact that he's known Jimmy for the least amount of time and that he has the most positive experience with Jimmy (Jimmy's never been anything but soft and supportive towards Tango since they became friends and as far as Tango might be concerned his 'bad side' is his general incompetence and impulsiveness which he's fine with) so it would be the most out of nowhere for Tango even though he would probably be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I imagine Tango would say he forgives him but never get over it, be overly cautious around him. Which of course isn't very conductive to healing. I think Lizzie would be somewhat similar, too.

Fwhip would probably be the least likely to compromise I think, cause their relationship is already so strained despite wanting to care about each other. Joel isn't far behind probably, but Joel is also a really big insecure softy who worries about people a lot when they aren't looking, and can turn on a dime from trying to Kill Jimmy to giving him aid. Martyn would be the middle ground and most level headed about the whole thing I think. Scott would be the biggest wild card and most based on how things actually play out.

I'm generally bad at imagining how soured relationships can be turned around so this is very much out of my element, though.

[jadespeedster17]

Mycelium Has A Song

Summary: Jimmy wasn’t sure what to make of all of this, though he wasn’t part of the HEP in helping things, he did know a few things about plants. Scott owned a flower farm, and made dyes, and Tango owned a ranch that he helped in. Taking over when Tango wasn’t there to do things. His brother now was connected to a plant like substance know as Mycelium. And his talk with his brother lead no where, yet questions still burned in him. 

Notes: This is based upon @all54321 Father Spore Spy AU idea. And this isn’t apart of it, just me making a scene I wanted to share. 

Warnings: Cult-like themes, Mild Mind Control, Mild Corruption, Mild Body Horror. 

-

Jimmy would say he’s got alot of regrets in life, most people do. He wasn’t always a good person, not until he meet Scott and Tango. He became a better person for them, and learned to live life to be happy and grateful for each morning. It wasn’t easy, but he was working on it. 

He had a loving family, amazing friends, and things were looking up slowly. He spoke to Grian often through voice chats when they could and they played games. He spoke to Pearl the same ways, enjoying how close they were again. He had missed his siblings dearly, and was happy it seemed they were stronger together again. 

Then he got the call from Pearl, and dread filled him as she told him the situation. His older brother was infected by this Mycelium threat stuff. And had been found out to be a traitor working for Father Spore, which Pearl said was actually Scar. Grian was infected, and Jimmy felt worry over take the dread.

They all packed quickly, Scott was ready to jump and go as much as he was. Tango was there too, and they needed to get their now. His brother was gone, missing, and his sister was still there. He didn’t really care if it was dangerous, he left his family once, he won’t do it again. Not when they needed him. 

Pearl scolded him alot for coming out here, but Jimmy still was happy to see her again. Scott was taking care of their luggage and told him to go be with his sister. They needed each other right now, and Jimmy needed to know what was going on with Grian. Was he okay? Was he safe? What was wrong with him? Pearl could only give so many answers, as she wasn’t too sure either of everything. 

Then came the meeting with Grian and Scar, which lead to no where. Though he had let Pearl do most of the talking. He just watched staring at the creature that was now his brother. The deep purplish hue to the parrot wings of his, and the mushrooms that grew on them. 

He didn’t believe there was anything wrong with him, and spoke of how he wanted them to join with him. How he missed them, and he could be connected this way. Pearl was against it, and Jimmy stayed silent through it. Both of them were trying to convince the other was something, and neither were listening. Pearl and Grian were always the two stubborn ones, Jimmy guessed he could be as well. 

But watching Grian leave, with only a sad glance to them, hurt him more than he thought it would. And while he got a good look of what the Mycelium does to someone, he still felt he was back to square one. More questions than answers, and it was frustrating.

Pearl was firm in the idea that they could cure Grian, even if Grian didn’t want to be cured. Jimmy wasn’t sure what to believe himself, Grian hadn’t looked hurt or in pain, he looked rather happy if a bit... plant-y now? He felt like Pearl was very much telling her own bias of things. With thoughts of pushing herself now to cure and save their little brother. Though Cub seemed to disagree from when Jimmy got to talk to him. Expressing that curing int he past has only harmed people more than helped.

The pit of dread was back, would Pearl push so far to harm Grian if it meant to save him? What if it didn’t work? Cub spoke of how death could be a very possible variable in curing those that didn’t want to be cured. And that made Jimmy’s throat close up in fear. 

He didn’t want to think that for long, taking some time to get fresh air outside. To try and hide from his intrusive thoughts. Scott and Tango did their best to alleviate his fears, but they didn’t understand how scared he was. He only had Pearl and Grian left. They knew about as much as he did on this situation, and Tango refused to share too much as they didn’t want to cause mass panic. 

Maybe that’s how he always found himself back here. At the edges of the police tap looking into the infected area and to the forest. It was silent here, though the birds made noise the sound of people was none existence. Just the wind in the trees. Grian was somewhere in there, possibly much deeper in than before. People believed the resistance base was deeper inside, but going on foot was a bad idea as it alerted Father Spore to them being in there.

It alerted Scar of your location, due to how connected the Mycelium was. Which was both impressive and creepy to Jimmy. 

He narrowed his eyes lightly, he wasn’t getting anywhere standing here. And he had a choice to make now. He could go deeper in, and get the answer himself. Or he could trust Pearl knows what she’s doing, and hope Grian came around. Jimmy was a doer not a follower, and he knew what his answer was long before he thought of the choices he has.

Opening his wings he caught the wind and allowed his sunny yellow wings to carry him over top of the trees. Staying at a high enough look point that allowed his eyes to see everything. Flying over to see how the Mycelium seemed to cover over everything like a blanket of greens and purples. 

It seemed to act as a shader of sorts, making flying out harder than going in. It possibly allowed heavy shade and keeping the floor damp, which was something mushrooms liked to grow in. 

His feathers curved to the wind, stumbling a bit as something pushed form under him. A air current from below, which startled him for a moment. Like the forest below was producing an updraft of air. Jimmy carefully lowered himself so not to have that happen again, and decided to perch on top of a rather tall tree. Looking over everything from the branch. He could see the faint movement int he air of spores. Luckily he was high enough he couldn’t breath enough in, but the area had a heavy earthy scent to it. 

For the most part everything looked the same for miles, figures Grian would think to have their base hidden from avian eyes. Jimmy frowned a bit at that, gazing around the pines, leaves, and many colors ahead. His ears twitched trying to pick up on any difference at all. Opening his wings again and taking flight. 

Nothing seemed to change, and Jimmy was starting to think of heading home before anyone noticed he was missing. However it seemed the wind had other plants. Another rush of air from under him had him losing his balance. It pushed up on his wings, and Jimmy was now trying to right himself. His wings however felt stiff, the air making it hard to close the joints. 

He cried out a bit though as he soon was falling, trying to unlock his joint as he fell down. Jimmy twisted in the air, letting out distressed sounds. Normally to the flock, when flying, an avian will let out sounds to let them know something was wrong. When this happened another avian would have to create wind under the falling one so they could right their wings against the strong winds.

But Jimmy was alone, and he was falling fast. Hitting tress wasn’t fun, Jimmy had done it once before, near broke his wings, and he knew that like this he’d hit back first. He closed his eyes tightly and waited for the searing pain. 

Something did slam into him, knocking the breath from him, but... there wasn’t pain with it. As something dug into his sides from where he was gripped by... arms? “You’re such an idiot you know that.” a familiar voice grumbled as Jimmy opened his eyes and looked up to see familiar parrot wings that had slight purple hues to them. 

“Grian!” Jimmy breathed out as relief ran over him at the sight of his siblings, swallowing down the chirps that wanted to come out. They glided over the tree tops easily as Grian was lowering them down easily and dodging the branches easily. 

They were near a river bank of sorts as Grian lowered him down to the ground and landed himself. Bending down and looking at Jimmy’s wings, “So they locked up on you?” he asked as Jimmy nodded trying to rub the joints to help them.

“I was flying over head and a draft hit the locking them in place.” he admits, “The wind knocked me off balance after that.” Jimmy winced a bit as carefully he pushed his wings to fold again. 

A grumbling huff, “It’s dangerous to fly here Tim, if you’re not used to the Mycelium creating it’s own air.” he scolded in a big brother tone, as Jimmy grumbled out something but Grian possibly couldn’t make it out. Sighing heavily though, “I heard your calls nearby, you’re lucky this time. You could have serious injured yourself, and all for what?” he asked his brother with a stern look. “Did one of the HEP members sent you to fly over head?”

taking a moment to try and rub out the soreness in his back, Jimmy shook his head, “I was actually looking for you.” he tells his brother as he sat across from him, “I wanted to talk to you, without Pearl or anyone nearby. Just us.”

A pause from Grian as his brother stared at him for a long moment, then hums with his arms crossed, “You could have just came in by foot to ask for that Timmy, instead of risking flight in an unfamiliar area.” he deadpanned and rose an eyebrow.

Jimmy flushed at that looking away as his feathered ears flicked down. Okay yeah maybe he could have done that, “Wasn’t sure it’d work.” he admits rubbing his arm, “Not after last time with Pearl, I figured you’d...” he trailed off, that Grian would hate him, them, for of the last talk. His ears stayed lowered at these thoughts. 

“Well... I’m here now, what is it?” Grian asked after he stared at Jimmy for a long time. “I’m all ears, and it’s just us.” a familiar smile, when he was forgiving them for doing something dumb. 

Jimmy’s ears perked up again as he felt some tension in his shoulders fade. “I wanted to check on you Grian, wanted to be sure you were okay.” wringing his hands together he shifts, “I... I’ve been so worried for you, the talk a few days ago didn’t do anything for my nerves and with everything going on... I’m afraid of well...” he as never good with feelings, Scott always said he needed to learn to allow himself to be vulnerable. 

Gazing up at Grian he saw the eyes soften as he sat down in the greenish purple grass. Near the edges of the river it wasn’t as thick as it was in the forest itself. “I’m fine Tim, more than just fine. I promise you, I’m doing okay. No injuries or anything of the sorts.” he said in the familiar tone of what made you think I could ever be hurt?

A lapse of silence again as Jimmy as messing with the blades of grass, “I can hear that Grian... you say that but, from everything I’ve been told by the others. I don’t know how I can believe it.” he stressed the word hard, he could see Grian was infected, could see the mushrooms on his skin and the purple in his veins, the way Grian didn’t breath hardly.

Humming in understanding, Grian just nodded to him, “I understand completely, you’ve been told we are infected, we aren’t ourselves. That I’m not your brother, I’m something that has controlled your brother.” at those words Jimmy found himself nodding in agreement, that was about what he was told. Grian’s eyes gazed at him calmly, “But do you believe that?” he asked.

“I...” Jimmy trailed off, gazing at the familiar eyes of his older brother, and sighed deeply as his shoulders and wings sagged, “I don’t know what to believe Gri.” he admits to him, eyes looking away and lost in thought. “Pearl is convinced of a cure, but Cub... well from what he tells me that could kill you.” his voice hitched at the word, the fear near closing up his throat again. 

He could feel the weight of Grian’s gaze on him, and he continued, “I don’t know what to think. You seem happy, you seem okay, even if you look different. And you don’t want to be cured or be a lab rat, not that I blame you on that last part,” he grumbled that ending almost to himself. “But, I... I just don’t know Gri, you talk about connection and acceptance, but I just can’t-” he cut himself off with a distressed chirp that slipped out. 

In return Grian cooed to him which did take away from of the tensions in him. “Are you curious about it?” he asked Jimmy with a head tilt, “About what we are and what I was talking about?”

Jimmy nodded to that instantly, “I am, I wanted to talk to you about that, wanted to hear it from you directly without someone else there to cut you off or say other things. I want to know what you’re talking about.” and that was the truth, he wanted to know what was going on in his brother’s head.

Grian smiled brightly, looking so relieved and happy that Jimmy wanted to know. The smiled looked weird on his face, if only slightly to Jimmy. “We are connected Timmy, what that means if we think and feel together. We are all together as the mycelium, closer than possibly as a human can go.” he said these words in a near whisper, as Jimmy stared.

“We are like a family in a sense, though I suppose there is a deeper meaning to what we could be called. It’s the closest word Scar and I can find.” Grian shrugged passively, the smile still on his face. “It’s something we want to share with everyone, to allow everyone to connect like this. To feel closer than close to someone. People are happier like this, they sing softly sometimes, as hear they are never alone or unsure.”

Jimmy continued to stare for the longest time, then gave a raised eye brow, “Sounds very cult like Grian, not gonna lie.” he said, though his tone was light and humorous. Grian did burst out laughing all the same, the seriousness fading with both their chuckles and laughter. 

Taking a breath, Grian smiled, “Suppose it does in some ways, but it is a wonderful experience all the same. I was unsure at first, but, when Scar showed me, connected me, I wasn’t anymore.” his eyes held a fond look to them, remembering something Jimmy wasn't sure off. 

“It’s something I want to share with you, with Pearl, with everyone. To get them all to join us, to feel this bliss and happiness. Scar is the Father of Spores, he connects us all Tim, and I promise, it’s amazing.” Grian’s tone was almost pleading for Jimmy to understand.

The words sank in the air around them, Jimmy listened to how Grian spoke of this. With reverence and wanting him to understand it. “and you want me to experience this?” he asked finally, “to join with you in this... Mycelium?” 

Nodding to him, Grian reached out but didn’t touch his skin, placing his hand near the grass, as it turned purple under his hand. Jimmy looked back up into his brother’s eyes, “Tim, I want you and Pearl with me, on this side. Helping me and Scar, not against us.” there was a whining sound in his throat, “I hate we are enemies this way, I don’t want that.”

Gripping his own hand, Jimmy rubbed his thumb on his palm, he did this when he was thinking. He was gazing at the ground, thinking over Grian words. Grian continued talking, “You can bring Scott and Tango in too, I’ll help you, so will Scar.” he promised his brother, “Please Tim, join with us.” 

Biting his lower lip, Jimmy thought this over in his head. Pearl would kill him if she knew he was out here talking with Grian. He didn’t know how Scott and tango would take it. He had a choice to make, he knew Grian would let him go if he said no, even if it hurt his feelings. He wanted him to chose, wanted him to be willing. Grian still cared about him, never forcing them, he didn’t seem as mindless as people said. A creature wouldn’t care how he felt, wouldn’t give him a choice, would it..?

Narrowing his eyes slightly, he met Grian’s eyes, pleading, hoping, but there was also worry there. 

“Okay.” Jimmy said in a croaked tone, watching as his brother’s eyes widen a bit. He nodded a few times to himself, “Okay, I’ll... I’ll join you.” his tongue felt heavy, his body near shivered at the words. 

He was still scared, but... he made his choice. 

Grian’s face split into a wide and happy smile as he jumped forward and hugged Jimmy tightly. His wings wrapping around his brother. Some happy chirps were let go, as Jimmy grunted when Grian hugged him. Then he wrapped his arms back around him, careful not to touch or push against the shrooms on the shoulders. He let out chirps back as he was held tightly. If Grian was shaking, Jimmy didn’t say anything about it. 

Pulling back grinning at Jimmy widely, Grian helped him to his feet. “Come on, Scar is nearby, he’ll help you connect faster than I could.” holding his hand and leading him to the forest. 

It was as dense as Jimmy thought, sunlight barely filtered through. “We don’t particularly like sunlight, it’s uncomfortable to be in direct light.” Grian explained as they walked past glowing shrooms on the ground and over the purple ground. Jimmy letting Grian lead him along these twisting paths. The air was earthy in scent, but it wasn’t bad. 

They did come to a small opening area where Scar was, sitting on a stump like area. Honestly man looked like a fae from stories Jimmy had read. Grinning at them as he got up, “Jimmy.” he said back cheerfully, “I’m glad you’ve chosen to do this, you won’t regret it.”  Jimmy nodded faintly to that, not wanting to say much, for fear of chickening out now. 

Placing a hand on his shoulder, Jimmy shifted a bit looking a little scared. Scar gave a calming smile, “It won’t hurt a bit, just breath is all you have to do.” arms pulled him closer and hugged him close. The spore cloud of green around Scar was thick, and Jimmy took a slow breath.  It was... sweet smelling, earthy undertones, it makes Jimmy feel light headed. He’s held upright by Scar and Grian behind him. His mind feel slow, thoughts are hard to come by. But, the fear fades with it, he feels tired.

“Rest Tim, It’ll be okay when you wake up.” Grian tells his brother, as Jimmy hums slightly to that. 

Everything went black after that. 

There was humming, faint humming.

Singing even.

It was soft, gentle, and a choir of people singing in unison. 

Jimmy found himself singing along with them, feeling the tune in him, apart of him.

He felt... everything, it was overwhelming, maybe he was crying, but he sang ever so softly with it.

It was wonderful, amazing, and warm. Everything Grian told him, something Jimmy didn’t know he was missing until now. 

[sapphic-woes]

Father Beocca and Thurs deserved to have a little house away from politics and surrounded by friends and atleast 10 dogs. They were the only couple I was rooting hard for.

Edward in season 4 I kinda understood him. He was a cautious guy who looked like he was struggling with living up to Alfred and was afraid of making the wrong decisions. But in season 5 he really turned into a dick who let his pride get carried away. He became one of those "I'm always right because Im perfect and God chose me". His treatment of literally everyone was straight up awful. Also we hate a cheating asshole, I don't care if it was "common for the times", you cheat? Then you suck. Uthred was on thin fucking ice for this in season 2.

Also speaking of Uthred, you ever heard of the kiss of death?? Well my boy had the dick of death. That's why Hild survived so long because she did not dance the devil's tango with him.

-🐝

They really were iconic😭 I had a whole thing with Erik and that romance, and after that ended I was like naw I'm not gonna care about anything or anyone until there was more Beocca and Thyra and I was like 🥹 luv is real–omfg!?

Edward in season 5 really pulled an Alfred. Like just not caring fully abt anything than his desire of England and acting like the ends justified the means. I hated him but I loved the development, yk? Like he loses his son and his wife and he's so callous about it, even his lil speech reminiscing her felt so hollow.

LMAO FRFR THO if you fuck Uthred you die😭 literally when Eadith walks in on him and walks out I was like "so she won't die. This is foreshadowing to her survival" and the way she lives😭😭 I was like wait...wait I was joking what–

[oldgooddaysoldgooddays]

282

On Sunday C arrives on a sugar high from an entire Easter egg and a midday Tango. Part of friendship is accepting someone at either end of their crash diet. Last time we spoke he left me hanging on news of a sex dream about V and suspicions the new girl he’s seeing might not be sane. He elaborates on the latter, how the woman will respond to a text by saying “you are overstepping a boundary” and then send a text later in the week asking to go to dinner. After dinner she will say “I don’t trust you”, and “you need to stop gaslighting me”

It is hard, I say to C, thoughtfully re-lighting my cigarette, to prove you are not gaslighting someone once that particular gauntlet has been laid down. Not wanting to believe my best friend is romantically toxic, I find myself betraying my own gender and assuming that perhaps this woman just recently learned phrases like “gaslighting” and “love-bombing”. We have all been guilty of using the terms as synonyms for the more mundane acts of simply having opposing points of view, or of expressing affection early on in a relationship. It does, however, cross my mind that C, while endlessly loving and respectful of me throughout our 15 year friendship, could be kind of a nightmare to date. It is something I will never know for sure, since dating C would be like incest

“And then on Thursday”, C continues, “we are ordering food and she says we need to stop seeing each other, and when I leave it will be Goodbye Forever”. C says he told her that if it’s going to be Goodbye Forever he might rather order something cheaper. I laugh hysterically at this detail because I understand C’s logic so clearly. After all, when D ditched me in my hotel room I attempted to stem the flow of hurt by sending him a PayPal invoice created on my phone for the room service bill. Sometimes finance is the only controllable facet of an ugly scene

“Then the next day she asks me out again, like nothing happened. And when I text her back she says I’m overstepping her boundaries again”, says C. At dinner she tries to lure C back to her place, despite his early morning the following day, by flirting with the waiter to make him jealous. “Protest behaviour”, I say with authority, having once skimmed an attachment style book. C asks what my verdict is, whether he should continue seeing her. I say why not. I try to inhabit this woman’s mind, tune in to my supposedly innate feminine empathy, but I can’t. I like to think when I'm in something I don't send these kinds of mixed signals, but instead one long clear signal of disdain. Usually I just run and hide, or am ran and hidden from. The only thing I've ever felt I've had in common with C's romantic partners is that I sometimes cry hysterically after intercourse. C slept one such crier recently, who demanded sex during his refractory period and then tearfully swirled his penis around like a helicopter blade until he became aroused again. When he tells me this I ask him several times for reassurance that he liked it, and vow to try the stressful move the next time the opportunity arises

I move our chairs twice around the yard so I can get the sun on my face. The day feels like the first of spring. I ask C which Tate brother he would let marry his fictional daughter. We both reluctantly agree on Andrew, since Tristan has all the same awful attributes but marinated in an inferiority complex. I bike west after we part and think about how much of my life has been unofficial research to understand men. Later R texts me a photo of a greetings card sent to him by his semi-estranged dad. It says “SON, you are a good man”. If it wasn’t so clearly laced with pain this would be one of the funniest things I’d ever seen. This year is the first in a few that I have considered sending my own father a birthday text. I workshop a handful of potential missives. “Happy birthday. You’ve really fucked this one up”, “HB Daddy…if that is in fact your real name”, “hope you’re drowning in side-pussy on this special day”, “best wishes, Aries king”, “DAD, you are a bad man”

[thepinkspov]

Perceval

"You are my favourite music that I'll never get tired of listening"

10/25/22

Hi.

Belated happy birthday!

I really want to greet u thru ig, but wa na lang kay maulaw ko haha.

I purposely made this letter to confess, to let u know how I feel towards u. I know this is so cliche for u maybe bcos this isn't ur thing. But I hope u understand that this is the only way I know.

I know u are wondering right now about who I am. I want to confess my feelings without revealing my identity for two reasons: (1) maulaw ko, my self-confidence is not yet enough for me to show up, I need more time, maybe after ko maka graduate sa college puhon hahaha char; (2) I want u, as well as me, to be comfortable if ever makakita ko nmo. Kay once e reveal nako akong identity, basi nyag mag tago² ko inig makit an tika haha and u know I don't like that. I want to look fine and collected whenever u are around. I don't want to miss a single moment looking at u even from afar coz im afraid that it would be the last time I would be seeing u. Kaya lubos-lubosin ko na lol. U might think I'm a creep but no, this is just me expressing my feelings haha. Taas² baya ni so hope u have enough time to read pretty pleaseeee.

I heard about u when I got interested to someone u are close with when I was still in grade 8. As far as I can remember, I got a crush to that someone at the age of 14. Happy crush ra ba. As a hopeless romantic teenage girl who got a crush to someone years older than her, I find ways to know him, his family and friends. I asked my most trusted friends about that, until they mentioned ur name. Spencer. To be honest, I made fun of ur name coz it sounds like a name of a dog haha (sorry 😭). They say u r the silent one among ur siblings and also the "suplado" haha. I was curious so I stalked ur fb acc, I even sent u a friend request yet u just ignored it 💀. So I followed u on ig. I did all of these not bcos I was interested to you, but bcos I was interested to someone related to u. The first time I saw ur pic, katong naa dagwy kas kasal ato or debut or whatsoever, familiar imo face but I don't remember nga nakakita ko nmo before, ur name doesn't ring a bell either. But ur face really look familiar. Nevertheless, I just ignored that.

ff. I was 15 when I first saw u. U were driving a scooter dagwy to ah basta murag scooter nga gamay kaayo haha cute gani ka kaayo ato lantawon 🤭. And you know what, that moment, I felt like everything was in slow motion. Basig nag tuo ka ba nga gama² ra ni nako, di baya jd. Everything I said was true. Mu labang na mn unta gd ko ato kay mu palit ug ice water sa atbang, nya nag pa dulong mn ka gasakay ug motor so nagpa abot ko nga maka labay ka. While doing that, I was also looking at your face when suddenly my eyes met yours hahaha pero imo ra pong gi bawi dayun w/ matching poker face 🙂. Mao to akong first kita nmo. Then naka conclude ko nga ay, my friends were right, u are suplado nga haha. Understandable mn pd kay wa baya ka kaila nako alangan mn mu smile ka nako or mu tango? lol pero mao jd na akong first impression pd nmo haha.

However, after that day, I started thinking about u and that fleeting moment especially everytime we talked about something related sa imo family since your family is quiet famous in La Libertad. Tungod pd ato, I became so curious nmo kay familiar lagi imo face. I think I've seen u before but can't remember when.

ff. In grd 10, my curiosity continued until I've learned some things about u, ur studies, hobbies and of course, your love of music and instruments. Im an active followers of yours on ig that's why I heard u playing guitar, keyboard, drums and violin. I can see how passionate u were on playing those things. You just don't play well, u play with all ur heart, with love. I didn't know that slowly, my curiosity leads me into something else. Nagka crush nako nmo sir!

ff. I was 18 when I decided to enrol sa music class dhas munisipyo when akong silingan mag mention sa opening. I planned to enrol since I want to learn how to play an instrument. Before pandemic, layhan jd ko mag pa enrol dha pero ana mn sila nga strikta daw ang nagtudlo hahaha. But now, lahi na mn kuno. And I was told usa mn pd daw ka sa mga teachers but sa guitar daw ka. During the last enrolment, I saw u sitting along with ur friends outside LTO office ba to. I took a quick glance at u, afraid u might caught me stealing glances, I went upstairs immediately for the registration silently hoping nga mu saka pd kas taas haha. And u did. Mura kog atakihon sa ka kulba ato nga time tbh hahaha. But my acting skills never fail me so I was just like a normal innocent kitten that time lol. Pero naglibog jd ko nganong gikulbaan kog taman ato nga time wa mn ta koi sala. But u know what, I like that kind of feeling. I was happy seeing u that close. I saw the way u talk, and the way u smile, is charming. I heard u talk, laugh a bit, and ur voice, and how u handle your students very well.

Then we had a small interaction the second time I went there. Naa mn gd koi clarification sa schedule sa amo klase, nya mangutana mn unta ko ni kuya moi², kay sha moi duol nako that time. Pero wa ko nangutana nya hahaha I waited for u to come to the table near me haha then diha nako nangutana nmo hahaha paraparaan char haha. It was just a small interaction but it means a lot to me. I like the way your eyes bore into mine while answering my question bsag pila ra to ka words imo gi utter haha solve na ako adlaw sir haha. Sugod ato, my feelings for u changed a bit. I felt something I didn't know I could feel at a young age. No, it was not love. More than crush, yes, but I know that is different from love. I am sure of that. Infatuation? Maybe. Nag padayun ang klase, pero wa ko kalahutay. Busy ko sa modules, graduating pa pd ko that time.

ff. Until I graduated senior high, my feelings for u stayed the same. Wa na kwaan, na dungagan pa gani. Ambot ngano. In ani dagwy ni sa kung interesado ka sa usa ka tawo? or maybe it's just me.

Until I heard rumours about what's going on with u and the girl I know. Sorry for being nosy hehe di lang jd malikayan basta kabahin nmo ang topic. My friends told me there was something on between u two. I didn't believe them at first coz I thought mag on pa sila sa iya ex not until I saw u together sa senyoricha haha. Ouch. wa baya ko nang stalk ha na kit-an ra jd tamo kay pa sulod mn pd mi ato sa senyoricha kay mu palit ug milkshake. Okay ra mn ko that time hahah happy crush ra baya ni akoa. Although I was a little bit heartbroken, alangan crush nmo, naay ka date, kinsay di ma apektuhan di ba? hayst pero okay ra hehe mura rag pinaakan sa dinosaur. Of course I got jealous and insecure. It's inevitable.

ff. Until u pass the board exam. The urge to congratulate u that time was too much yet I chose to stop myself and instead, I thank God for ur success. I was so proud of u, really. I know u worked really hard to become what u are today. Congratulations!

Then the band, First String, where u are the lead guitarist. Congratulations for all of your achievements together. I never heard u play in person. Sa mga gigs nnyo, di pd ko ka adto kay busy sa school, layo pa jd ang uban maong sa mga vids sa socmed ra ko makakita ug maka paminaw. Until last sept. 24, kita ko gi post, naa daw moi live music sa pocket park! Lipay kaayo ko kay duol ra finally makakita nako nnyo mu perform live! I invited my friends from guihulngan to come para naa pd koi kuyog, ako pd gihuman tanang assignment namo para wa koi problema na haha. I was excited and ready to go. But, unfortunately, nag ulan mn nya wai klaro kung maka ari akong mga kuyog kay nag motor ra sila. So at the end, natug na lang ko missing the opportunity to watch your performance. It was okay, though. Maybe di pa to ang time para nako hehe. Then I learnt it was a party for u daw diay for passing the board exam abi nakog mu perform ra mo same sa uban nnyong gigs hehe. Congratulations sa imo oath-taking! Finally RME na ka. Deserve.

Taas kaayo sa? hahaha I hope wa ka gi kapuyan ug binasa. Naa pa ta koi e chika nmo pero akoa na lang to hahaha. Kay kung e include pa to nako, maybe naa na kai idea kung kinsa ko haha. Might keep it instead.

I'm 19 yrs old. First year college. Future educator. I have feelings for you for almost 3 years. Decided to confess after ur birthday to let u know my feelings towards u and also, to get rid of this feeling, eventually. They said if u confess, there's a possibility na ma wa ang feelings. That's what I have to do. Admiring u from afar is exciting. Bsag pangalan ra gani nmo akong ma dungog, mu igting dayun akong dalunggan hahahaha makakita lang ko nga naa kai new update sa imong ig hala view dayun, like dayun hahaha mag hyperventilate gani ko kung mu view kas ako ig hahaha charot ra. It was a wonderful feeling, indeed. But I have to stop myself, from liking u. I have to get rid of this sweet feeling before it turns into something most people take for granted. Love. I'm afraid I might fall to someone I only thought about for years. I'm afraid I might fall in love with the idea of you. That's ridiculous, isn't it? Being in love with somebody that u only used to know is like falling in love with a book. U can love it all u want, but it's a story that runs parallel to yours. At the end of the day, it's static. It's memory. It's a sentence and you can't change it. It end how it ends. It says what it says. I think that's not good at all. I think that's scary. Scary bcos it will cost me pain at the end. So mintras wa pa ko ana nga stage, ako nang ihunong, and the best way I know to stop this feeling, is through confession. Mutuo mn gd ko anang ma wa ra daw dayun ang feelings kung mu confess ka sa imo crush hahah I've been there na mn gd. You know, feelings fade, and I'm holding on to the idea that what I feel for u would eventually fades. Let's see if this feeling will fade, pila gd ni ka years ako gi ampingan haha. And if it does, I will let u know.

I am so grateful bcos I met u. You inspired me by just being you. You are a registered mechanical engineer, a musician, and a teacher, a loving brother and son, and u have a cat or cats? haha. To be honest, this is not really what I want. I want to embrace this feeling and know u more. Know u better. Knowing certain things about you isn't knowing you better. I know there is more in you I want to discover, the real you. But I can't bcos that's beyond impossible. You don't know me, and if u do, u might just ignore me cos I know ur types and I'm not one of those. You are almost perfect. Kind, simple, handsome and charming, talented, smart, u have a loving family, and a smile that lights up a room and from that, I knew you are out of my league. Yet, I smiled. We were under the same sky, at least. Nevertheless, I chose to stop and move on with myself before feeling more than this.

This letter serves as a farewell for my feelings for u. I pray for u and ur family, for ur happiness and well being. I only want the best for u. May u find peace and love u think u deserve. And when the time comes u start questioning your worth, remember that u don't need to accomplish anything to be a worthwhile human being. Remember that there is someone out there admiring all the things u do, always proud.

You are the person I'll never stop looking for in a crowded place.

I'll see you when the road decides it's time for our paths to cross again, RME Spencer Perceval T. Husain.

-Pink Panther

[tisthenightofthewitch]

THE MAN BEHIND GHOST – EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH TOBIAS FORGE

We can confidently say that Ghost became one of the most successful, unavoidable (well, it’s safe to say that actually, you can even meet the band on racetracks), and divisive bands in recent years. Catchy and dark tunes, breathtaking stage designs, and show elements… Ghost is now on tour, promoting the new album, “Impera” – before the Madrid show, we had the opportunity to talk with the man behind Ghost, Tobias Forge.

-How are you? How’s your day and tour going so far?

-It goes really well! We are in Madrid today, and yeah… I mean, since January we only cancelled one show, which I’m really happy about so… In these days, when things are very rocky (smiles), to put that way, I’m very happy about every show that happened, and just one show has been canceled out of fifty – I think that’s really good! And you know, we are almost at the end of the first half of the tour, so I feel good, it’s working, that’s great.

-How did you survive the “enforced break” caused by the pandemic?

-For me, it wasn’t all bad, because we’ve already scheduled a year off between March 2020 and March 2021 – I was supposed to make a record during that time. Originally, I was quite stressed.

So, when we ended our tour in March 2020, I was supposed to start working immediately full-time making a record.

And as we saw COVID-19 and everything unfold, we quickly decided that I was just gonna take the pressure off, you know. So, I ended up being home a lot more with my family, and I worked maybe just a few days instead of five days a week. I got a lot of time with my wife and my two children. That was great! I had been on tour for 10 years straight, so I was actually quite happy about that. That was a good feeling. But of course, like everyone else, I felt sorry for all my friends who were suffering, or my parents, my mom who actually sat at home for a year until she could get the vaccine and all. That was hard.

-In 2019 after 10 years you returned to Budapest and gave us a fantastic show – and I’m asking this question in the name of all Hungarian fans: why did we have to wait that long?

-The thing with touring is that you cannot control everything yourself. Everything is depending on opportunities, timing, and all these factors. The simple answer to that would be that the promoter wasn’t asking us to come back.

You know, we are trying to be more frequent, especially in the area where we have been before, like Hungary, where we know that we do have fans,

but in order to make a Hungary show work, ideally, you have to have a full European tour or you have to have shows preferably even further, and that is not always the case. You know, it’s just unfortunate. But we’re trying, I’m really happy that we are actually getting back now as this tour is happening and we managed to get to Budapest because I don’t wanna be as infrequent as we have been.

-I cannot pass the fact that Ghost live shows are breathtaking – do you also take part to design the stage, the show elements, and the costumes?

-I am very-very-very involved with that, yes. If I wasn’t a touring musician myself, I would have wanted to work with stage design, that’s one of my main interests.

-In March Ghost appeared as a sponsor for a NASCAR racer, Bayley Currey. How did the collab actually happen?

-Actually, I’m not a giant motorsport fan. I think it was a “coincidence”, they were reaching out to us and we said, “wow, of course, we wanna do that!” You know, it takes two to tango. You just don’t jump on someone, you need to get the approval first. So they decided that they wanted to do something like that because somehow it also made their profile look cool, or I don’t know. I have no idea why they wanted us. But it was a great thing, looked cool.

-Ghost made a cover for “Enter Sandman” for the Metallica Blacklist compilation. If I know well, James Hetfield himself asked you to make a cover for that classic song.

-The reason why we ended up doing “Enter Sandman” goes back years. In 2018 Metallica got the Polar Music Prize – it’s a Swedish, very honorable, cultural award. So every year a distinguished artist gets that. That year was gonna be Metallica, and we were asked by (I guess) Swedish television or the people behind the award if we wanted to take part in that, and I said yes, of course! I mean I love Metallica, of course, we gonna do that. And they were like “ah okay, great, you should play ‘Enter Sandman'”. I was like “no, can I at least choose myself?” and they were like “no, we want you to open the whole thing up and it needs to be ‘Enter Sandman'”. Alright, wooh.

I just thought about it for a second and I came up with this alternative way of playing the song.

Okay, now I know what to do so of course, of course, we’ll do it. I’ll do it for Metallica. And then, when we’ve done that, we were asked to be part of the Blacklist record and I just figured out the lyrics of “Enter Sandman” – it just sounds a little bit like a lullaby in our version, and I just felt that. We were all also informed that if we gonna partaking this record we need to come up with a charity that we wanna donate the money to.

And I was thinking… I’ve seen a TV program about these transgender camps in America, which were founded by parents, but in order to welcome kids who are afraid of being trans in their normal lives.

So, these camps are the only place where these kids can be themselves. So, I just figured out: well, I really support a cause like that, but I also felt that the lyrics of “Enter Sandman” sounds a little bit like a comforting sort of song for a kid in bed. And then I felt just like “of course, we are gonna do ‘Enter Sandman!'” It feels so natural, and it’s a fucking great song! I think our version is also quite good, so it just felt like a typical no-brainer. We can play it live and every time we play that song live it’s gonna be more money to that. Fantastic! So yeah, it was a great honor to be asked to do it, but it’s also great to do something like that. Just spread some awareness, and support something. You know, I’ve not been great at that before, but hopefully, I can be better at it as we’re going forward.

-The USA could be rocky for European musicians, and Ghost’s satanic theme was also problematic for some groups, especially in the USA. But things are slowly changed in recent years – for example, a few weeks ago Ghost appeared on the Jimmy Kimmel Live! show where you performed “Call Me Little Sunshine”, and the “Impera” album sales are also amazing there.

-Okay, so the thing is that the one country that we’ve been always doing great… has always been America. That was the first country where we started touring and where we’ve been steadily just growing ever since.

Of course, we are not a big, mainstream band, I mean compared to Drake and Kendrick Lamar, but America has always been our sort of main proving ground, where we toured the most. I think it’s actually been more shakey in Europe but like France has always been great, England, Scandinavia… And other places, like Germany, have been harder for us to make things, it’s been slower. Everything changes a little, but… As a growing band sometimes you’re in a weird position, in one country you can sell out like seven-eight-nine thousand seats, and in the country next door, you can do two thousand. Sometimes you know, it’s hard to be balanced that way. It just takes time, it’s just part of it. But America has always been steady, but of course, we’ve become bigger now than we were eight years ago… But I have never seen America as a problem, Europe has been more of a problem then. (laughs)

-You recorded the debut album, “Opus Eponymous” with a session drummer and you played most of the other instruments in addition to vocals. Did the working process change over the years?  

-It is changed for each album. The session drummer that I had in the first album yet played on most Ghost records, but not all. It’s a mixed bag, every now and then I change things around and sometimes I like to play everything myself and sometimes I let other people in.

Sometimes it’s also a practical question, because making a record is a lot of work, and if you have to make all that stuff work in six weeks where I have to play bass and sing, and produce, and do all that.

You don’t have time, there’s just not enough time during the day. My fingers can’t play 8 hours a guitar and 3 hours a bass and sing for two hours. No, I just can’t do that… But, on the other hand, when I write a song and make the demos I play almost everything. At some point I have played almost everything you hear, they’ve sort of gone through my hands. So, yeah, it differs, and one day I might make a record again where I’m playing on everything, even on drums – we’ll see. (chuckles)

Interview by Péter Tepliczky Written by Afrodite Szeleczky

MyToucheBlog.com

[shadeswift99]

Déjà Vu

Characters: Etho, Bdubs, Tango, Skizz

Tags: Angst, Hurt/comfort, mostly canon compliant, platonic intended (don’t really care if you read it otherwise but please don’t tag as ship)

Words: 2323

Description: A second week of bearing the Boogyman curse, a second gut-wrenching moment of watching Bdubs die, a second string of deals and favours he’ll probably regret...to Etho, this week is starting to feel awfully familiar. Except this time around, he’s not sure if he has it in him to endure any more.

(A take on the Boogyman stack kill moment from Etho’s perspective, continuing into a kind-of-alternate but mostly canon compliant Team BEST “reunion” back at the snow fortress. Featuring: Etho Has A Horrible Time, Tango doubts himself while also having a horrible time, Bdubs has it rough, Skizz isn’t doing too great either - you know, happy fun times all around! :) )

(I recommend reading The Way Back before this one, both stand alone but they do connect nicely)

Read it on Ao3

The world stopped.

Just a few moments earlier, Etho would have thought such a feeling was impossible. A full week of the Boogyman curse, followed by a rest so short it felt like a blink and then the dreaded message in chat for the second time in a row had left him reeling through the action at breakneck speed. Nothing slowed down for Etho anymore: not his heart rate, stuck beating at a frantic maximum even when he stood still, not his eyes, darting between his allies with the terror that someone might call his bluff. Not the shake in his arms and legs as he leaned against the snowy wall away from the others, stealing a few short moments of weakness without worrying friends or tipping off enemies about how heavy a toll this curse was costing him.

Still, he'd sworn not to be reckless. Last time he had waited - maybe too long, but it was for a good reason. This time he didn't want to (couldn't) wait that long again, but he was still going to take his time. Better to force a few more casual excuses to the rest of Team BEST than to die on a bad judgement kill and blow his cover. Besides, everyone was safe now. Bdubs was safe now. He was on yellow, and after Tango's panicky transfer to Scar there were no red names on the server left to worry about.

So, Etho had steeled himself for a wait. He'd scribbled down a few trap diagrams, joked around with Skizz and Tango in the most normal way he could manage, and kept himself upright and unwavering until the right moment would present itself. The days tended to go by in a dizzying blur when he was the Boogeyman, but still, Etho had time to kill.

That is, he did. Until it all stopped.

The moment Mumbo's end crystal clicked onto the obsidian, time held its breath: but it wasn't until Etho turned and saw that shard of crystal glass rip through Bdubs' chest that his world, his entire universe, jittered to a frozen, razor-edged halt. His heart skipped a beat.

And Etho became rage.

He doesn't remember the kill. Every blade of grass and every leaf on every tree jolted into perfect focus as his hand closed white-knuckled around his axe, and then a blink later he was ten feet from the spot he stood before, hands coated in the slick of Mumbo’s yellow life. The pumping adrenaline of the curse faded as he was cured, but he barely noticed. His heart beat faster now, if anything, the shaking twice as bad. The air stung at his throat and eyes. He breathed hard.

"Etho?"

Bdubs.

Etho didn’t turn at the voice. He couldn't force his limbs to move, and besides, the last thing he wanted was to come face to face with his old friend as a Red Name again. After all the fear...all the startling and suspicion, all the walls built between them and the pain of still not being able to leave him, this dear enemy of his whose only wish was to kill him but still made him tea in the mornings...after everything he'd done to see his friend again past that battered face... None of it mattered now. None of it mattered. This wasn't how it was supposed to go! This isn't how it works, sacrifices are supposed to mean something, loyalty is supposed to mean something, you can't just risk your world one day and have it all reduced to dust the next, the Universe can't be that cruel...

"...Etho?"

Etho had seen uncountable years. He knew that the world isn't fair. He knew that a deal can be dishonored, that betrayal is a fact of life, that fate has its own will and it cannot be predicted. But even so, as the blood he drew far too late to help dripped down his sleeve and soaked into the soil, the weight of it all was suddenly enough to bring tears to his eyes.

The last bit of unnatural energy leaked from his bones, and his body finally gave out. He barely felt himself crumple to the ground.

"Etho!"

The shout came from Skizz this time. Faces wove in and out of Etho's view in a rolling, muted haze as Skizz and Tango rush over to help him. They were saying something, he was sure. "Are you okay?", Tango was probably asking, and "of course he's not okay just help me here you idiot" would be Skizz's reply, as they do, as they are. Etho would smile if there was anything left in him to do so. Some things never change. Somebody patted his vest down, looking for injuries. Arms reached around him and dragged him up. He mumbled a protest as his aching body was shifted, but he didn’t make their job any harder than it needed to be.

Hands tried to pry the bloodied axe from his fingers. He didn’t let go.

"Hey."

The voice was gentle, though battered and rough. Etho forced his eyes to focus enough to see a worried face framed in a singed moss hood. He opened his mouth, I'm sorry and I tried and curse you for getting yourself killed again fighting to be said first, but Bdubs held up a hand and he stayed quiet.

"You were the Boogyman?"

Etho swallowed weakly. "Yes." The voice sounded strangely steady, not at all his own.

"Okay." Bdubs sighed. He looked around, back at the remaining Southerners hovering in awkward terror at the edges of the scene, over Etho's shoulder to whoever must be holding him up right now, then finally back to Etho himself. This time, he didn't bother trying to hide the tears in the corners of his eyes.

He took a half step forward, arms beginning to lift for an embrace. He hesitated, and Etho saw the flash of red ferocity flare deep in his eyes. He fell back.

When he next spoke, his tone was flat.

"Do you feel any better?"

Etho took a long look at Bdubs for the first time since the blast, taking in the bloodied holes in his clothes and the giant tear in his sweater where the glass stabbed through.

"Do you feel any worse?"

Neither of them answered.

Neither of them wanted their last friendly words to each other to be a lie.

"Take him back to base." Bdubs turned away. "Make sure he rests. While he still can."

Reaching backwards, Bdubs yanked the axe from Etho's grip and walked away.

Etho let him.

~

“Do you...want a potion, or something?”

Tango shifted his weight awkwardly from foot to foot, looking down at Etho. He’d practically carried him back inside the fortress, depositing him as gently as he could manage on the floor with his back leaning up against the wall. The man looked utterly exhausted. He hadn’t even tried to catch himself. Still, it looked as though most if not all of the blood staining his vest and right arm was Mumbo’s and not his, so...he really didn’t know what else he could to do help. Would a potion even fix the kind of wounds he’s dealing with?

“Etho?” Tango nudged his leg a little with his shield.

“Mhm?”

“I said, do you want a potion.”

“No, it’s...I’m fine.” Etho finally looked up, sweat plastering his dirty white hair to his forehead in a pathetic fringe.

“Well that’s a lie.” Tango chuckled dryly.

“I think it’s the Boogyman thing.” Skizz slipped through the doorway behind him, stepping around to hand Etho a freshly collected bottle of water. “ ’Dubs said when he had it it made him all jittery. That’s gotta be rough two weeks in a row.”

Tango winced. He’d forgotten Etho had the Boogyman curse last week, too. He hadn’t even been there...something had obviously gone down between Bdubs and Etho, but he’d missed it entirely. Last time he’d seen the two, Bdubs was chasing him around and begging him to give him a life, and Etho was shouting at him for letting Bdubs fall...he just hadn’t wanted to go back to face Team BEST after that. It had all been a little too much for a little too long. He’d needed the break he took. A nice long vacation, a good long walk to process what happened and deal with the -

Guilt.

No matter how much he tried to deny it. Not at the fact that he hadn’t given Bdubs a life. Guilt at the knowledge that if he could do it all over, he would choose the same thing again.

Tango cleared his throat and shook away the thoughts. In the past now. Now, he was back, and it was his job to help his team however he could to make up for the absence. And right now, that looked like tending to Etho and doing something or other to take that lost and helpless look off of Skizz’s face.

“Hey Skizz, speaking of Bdubs, have you seen him lately?”

“No, I...” Skizz hesitated. “I was scared to go look. He split off sometime before we said goodbye to the Southlands crew, I don’t think he’s been back yet.”

“Well, even if he is going to go join the red gang, I don’t think he’d leave without his stuff.” Tango gestured towards the battered B shield on Skizz’s back. “Why don’t you go be lookout on the wall in case he comes back?”

Tango purposely left it unclear whether “lookout” meant “welcoming party” or “last line of defense,” but either way, Skizz took the meaning. He left with a worried backward glance and a “let me know if you need anything”.

Tango turned back to Etho and sighed. Medic was not his role of choice.

“I’m sad about Bdubs.” The voice was so small. Its speaker barely moved.

Therapist was even less Tango’s area of expertise.

“Uh.” He crouched down, gently taking the half-drunk bottle of water from Etho’s hand. “Here, how about we make it so you’re just sad instead of sad and covered in blood?” He poured out some of the water onto a scrap of wool and started blotting away at Etho’s shirt.

He made no move to stop him, so Tango spent the next few minutes cleaning him up as best he could. Etho tried to help, but after the third time his shaking hands spilled the water all over himself Tango just pushed his arm away and reassured him he could handle it. He carried on with the work, no sound to break the silence but the slosh of water and the whistle of chilly air cutting through the fort’s towers.

Gradually, that silence grew heavy. Tango’s heart sank to match. He knew what was coming.

When next he looked up, Etho was staring him right in the eyes.

“I’m just going to go rinse this off, and then I’ll be back to finish up -” He tried to turn and leave.

“Tango.” Etho grabbed his sleeve.

The unease in his stomach blossomed into dread.

“You need to give him a life.”

“No.” Tango pulled away. “No! I’ve got six lives, he doesn’t! We all got the same lottery in the beginning. It isn’t my fault he’s already down to one. Maybe he should have budgeted better!” He crossed his arms, burying his hands in his armpits to hide the shake.

“I never said it was your fault.” Etho eyed him up from the floor. “Interesting that you would come to that conclusion yourself.”

“I said no.”

“I didn’t ask again.”

Tango pressed his lips together nervously. He said nothing.

“He’s killing me.” Soft, barely audible, but still distinct from behind the mask.

Tango rolled his eyes. “We won’t let him kill you. Skizz has his bow, and I’ve got - well, I can figure something out...you know we’ll defend you if it comes down to that -”

“No, Tango, I didn’t say he will kill me.” Etho let out a huff of frustration. “I said: he’s killing me. I can’t stay. I can’t leave. I have to stay close to him, and as long as he’s red, I’ll be dying a little more every day just waiting for the hammer to fall. You have to give him a life to make it stop. It’s the only way.”

Tango stared at him, looking him over with new eyes. In all his years spent with Etho from a distance as a fellow Hermit, he didn’t think he’d ever seen his face look this hollow.

“You really are hopeless, aren’t you,” he whispered.

“Don’t say that.” Exhausted though he was, a tiny bit of fire leaked back into Etho’s voice.

“You’re going to have to give him up sometime.” Tango met Etho’s stare full on, for the first time since he got back. He wanted to make extra sure that Etho knew just how screwed he was, if he’d really let it get this far. “A stray arrow, some lava, Scar or Joel or whoever the next Red Name of the week is causing mayhem...that’s all it’ll take, and then one of you will be gone for good. You know that, right?”

“Yeah.” Etho leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. “That’s why I’m not giving up my life for him. That, and if I did, he’d know.”

“Know you can’t bail on him even though the whole ship is sinking.” Tango glowered down at the floor. “Know you’re willing to take the rest of us down with you if this goes sideways.”

“So you’ll do it?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Etho said nothing.

Tango cursed under his breath.

/givelife Bdoubleo100

“If this gets me killed somehow, you’d best believe there’ll be hell to pay.”

Tango dumped the remaining water out over the floor and left, slamming the door behind him.

[shoutogepi]

Worth the Wait

Todoroki Shouto

word count : 9.2k

[ ☁︎, ☀︎, ✘ (nsfw 18+) ] (v lowkey angst//fluff)

themes : virgin!Shouto, experienced!reader (well, more than Sho anyway lol), praise kink?, lil baby couples quarrel, make up sex, and also he’s kinda hung lmfao idk if that’s relevant 💀

bio : You can’t help but notice that every time things start to heat up with your Pro-Hero boyfriend, he shuts you down. After politely ignoring his initial rejections, your frustrations build up, and you decide to confront him.

author’s note : so this fic was inspired by a conversation with the lovely astrid ( @todoscript​ ), who is becoming my cherished shouto confidante! we didn’t talk about it for very long, and it was awhile ago... but my brain would not move on so… this happened. i figured if i’m going to type so much about him i may as well write a fic. thanks for listening to my constant yelling, hope you enjoiii <3

side note : both shouto and reader are meant to be young adults in this fic!! i was thinking somewhere around 25-30 (i didn’t specify the age in the fic) but i thought i would make note of this as that’s considered “old” to still have your v-card, by American society at least (hence why sho kept that info from reader)

  ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

🅃he first time it happened, you tried to play it off as if you hadn’t made a move.

The last few of your friends had finally departed from the Saturday game night you had thrown, leaving just you, Shouto, and the slow, hot tango of your tongues. You hadn’t seen each other all week— with him being busy with his hero work, and you being busy with your comparatively-mundane job, you didn’t get to spend as much time together as you would have liked. Although it was an obstacle for your relationship, you were both young adults as well as devoted professionals, which allowed the two of you to remain on the same page most of the time. It was typical for you to text and call one another for a few hours after work (granted you both had the time to spare) before passing out mid-conversation, your phone screen still lit up and gentle snores exchanged through the speakers. But like any sane girlfriend, having him in person, right in front of you, was always your favorite.

What had started as a peck had quickly evolved into a full on make-out session— Shouto had pulled you halfway onto his lap when you tried to move back from your initially-stealthy kiss, an appreciative hum rumbling through him as his large hands cupped around your face. You didn’t fight him as he brought your lips back to his, and you failed to stop him when those very same hands began to glide down your back, parking just above your ass. His fingers had gradually started to fiddle with the tops of your jeans, thumb running over the denim and dipping down to graze against your skin through your thin blouse.

Yet when your hands slipped underneath the bottom of his shirt, he pulled back from you, heterochromatic eyes guarded as he removed your hands. You had immediately picked up on his reluctance, and threw yourself off of him onto the other side of the couch, embarrassment scorching the back of your neck. Shouto left not long after that, for you had made up some lousy excuse that you were tired and would like to go to sleep, when sleep was really the opposite of your innermost desires.

This would have been all fine and good— because consent was consent after all, and you had no intentions of pushing him to do something he was uncomfortable with— had the same thing not happened just two weeks later. There you were thinking it would be a cute, coupley evening of watching movies and tossing popcorn at each other, resting your head against his shoulder and being content with just that— when then all of the sudden he was pinning you onto the sheets and kissing you til you couldn’t breathe. His hands, once again, wandered all over your clothed torso, palms mapping out each dip and curve as his tongue entertained yours in your mouth.

You were hesitant to kiss him at first, recalling how you had horrifically killed the mood last time, but as his advances became more passionate, you slowly allowed your defenses to slip back, excitement building inside of you. It was only when your legs tightened around his waist, your core brushing up along his thigh and causing you to let out the softest moan did he pull back. That same calm, cool expression was on his face, though his eyes were a bit wider than usual. There was also the tiniest hint of pink dusting his pale cheeks, his lips parted as he gathered himself. It was rather awkward after that— neither of you really knew what to say— so you crawled back to your spot and sat in silence for the rest of the movie, your hands eventually wandering out to hold onto each other. After sharing a soft kiss and exchanging “goodnight”s, you returned to your place, ready for an extra long appointment with your vibrator.

Unfortunately for you, this became a common occurrence. It wasn’t that you hated the steamy make-out sessions with your as-hot-as-they-come boyfriend, no— you thoroughly enjoyed them. The part that you absolutely loathed was returning to your place with your panties soaked all the way through, your sexual frustration meter only climbing higher and higher.

You loved your boyfriend! And of course you respected his wishes. You would wait for however long he wanted, because you wanted your first time together to be special. But fuck, did he have to heat you up just to leave you hanging every time? If he wanted to wait, then fine! But, God, what had you done to deserve this torture? You couldn’t get past first base— you’d never even rubbed your body erotically against his except for that time on his bed, and that was by accident!

And that was what you told the ladies during your Thursday night all-girl conference call, finally needing to vent and get this selfish feeling off your chest. It had been a long time coming, quietly brewing over the many instances of him stunting your advances that you came to a realization.

Enough was enough! You were going to ask him why he wouldn’t go any further with you, and whatever his answer may be, at least you would know what he was thinking! You felt like a weight had been lifted off of you, the girls cheering you on and wishing you luck as you said goodbye, ready to confront him.

— - — - — - — - —

Now that you’re standing here in front of his door, it seems like a foolish plan you’ve made. Your heart is beating out of your chest, thumping frantically against your ribcage as your fist is frozen in the air, knuckle about to connect with the door. Your stomach feels tight and low, throat dry with apprehension as your brain runs through every possible outcome. What would he say once you ask him your question?

Perhaps your breath stinks and it turns him off? Or maybe he doesn’t like the perfume you wear— or is it the way you dress that he doesn’t like? What if the reason he always stops you… is because he’s not sexually attracted to you?

Now that you think about it, you’ve never seen him pop a boner during your tongue wrestling matches, and the realization nearly causes your soul to leave your body. Even though the thought horrifies you, you try your best to reassure yourself that’s not the case. You had caught Shouto checking you out on multiple occasions, his eyes igniting a delicious heat on your skin. Whatever the case, you’re in this too deep to chicken out now. So with that, you let your knuckles rap on the door, steeling your nerves.

There’s a moment of quiet shuffling before your boyfriend opens the door, a pleasantly surprised smile on his face. His hair is wet and freshly washed, shining droplets collecting at the ends and making him appear even more handsome than usual. The gray tee thrown over his broad shoulders has damp spots from the runoff, and you take a second to admire the way his chest looks in the clingy material. “Hey, love,” he says, his voice alone causing goosebumps to rise along your forearms.

You allow him to guide you into his apartment, the door clicking shut behind him quietly. “Hi Sho,” you greet back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and leaning up to kiss him.

Shouto chuckles against your eager lips, long arms gathering you into his chest. When he pulls away, he tucks your head underneath his chin, placing another kiss on your crown. “I missed you.”

Your heart throbs, happiness surging through you and butterflies bursting into your stomach. “I missed you more,” you reply playfully, burying your face between his broad pecs and inhaling his warm, wintery scent. The smell of fresh detergent lingers on the fabric, mixing with his clean aroma and making your tummy flip in circles.

“Impossible,” Shouto quips back, holding your waist tight as he dips you backwards just enough for your feet to leave the ground before he presses his lips to yours again, rendering you breathless. He pulls you back upright after a moment, a cheeky smirk on his face as you try to remember what you were talking about before. “Come in, sit down. I was just finishing up some work, I’ll get you something to drink.”

Following his instruction, you move further into his apartment, gravitating toward the couch and inspecting the files laid out on the coffee table before you. The words blur together for you, the foreign hero work forms long and in what might as well be another language. You lean back onto the cushions as Shouto returns, a glass of water in his hand. Frost forms on the glass as he hands it to you, taking a seat beside you with his knee brushing against yours. You smile at his consideration, taking a small sip even though you’re not really thirsty.

“Was there something you came over here for specifically, love? Forgive me if I’ve forgotten, but I don’t believe we had plans?” He’s looking directly at you, eyes locked with yours as his hand comes to land on the top of your knee. Even just an innocent movement like that has you on alert, your breath catching in your throat as he gives a gentle squeeze.

“Uh… no reason,” you answer lamely, crumbling under the pressure of his watchful eyes. “Just wanted to see you.”

Shouto’s gaze lingers on you carefully, and for a second you feel like you’ve been caught in a trap. But he lets it go, his lips forming a soft smile as he lays his arm around your shoulders. “Well, I’m glad to see you too,” he replies honestly. His fingers caress your arm as his hand falls down to your waist, and he leans in to press another kiss to your cheek. You lean into his affection, mouth curving in content. “So, what would you like to do?” Shouto asks as he shuffles the files away into their manilla envelopes, creating a neat pile in the far corner of the table. He leans back into the cushions, fingers fondly stroking at your side. “We could go out to eat? We could try this new bar afterwards, too, it’s across from my agency. If you’re alright to go out.”

You can’t focus on his words, really— you’re too lost in your own thoughts. Why does he have to touch you like this every time, when if you act on it, he’ll only push you away? You’ve been together for a long while now, and still, he doesn’t take initiative to further your relationship. Every bone you’ve thrown his way has been perfectly deflected, with no sign of weariness from him. If he doesn’t want you, is it because he’s not into you anymore?

An ugly thought rears its head in the midst of your anxiety’s dark clouds.

Maybe he never was.

Taking your silence as an answer, Shouto continues on, looking towards the kitchen over his shoulder. “Or we could buy groceries and make dinner. I think I have bok choy in the fridge, but we’ll have to buy some meat. And noodles, if you want those instead of rice. I’m sure I have that sesame sauce you like, I—” He pauses as you grab his hand, your fingers looping tight around his warm palm, sliding them to rest on your thigh.

With the summer just fading into fall, you were wearing something to showcase the smooth expanse of your thighs, and as you guide his hand to touch your soft skin, a delicate blush blooms across Shouto’s cheeks. The flustered expression on his face only goads you on, and you lean in to capture his lips.

A muffled noise escapes him, your hand coming up to touch his jaw and rub your thumb against his chin. It only takes him a moment to recalibrate before his free hand rises and copies your actions, gliding down the back of your neck before pulling your face closer to his.

You run your tongue against the seam of his mouth, and he swiftly grants you access as his lips move to follow yours. He tastes like mint and sweet herbs, the tea he was entertaining before you came lingering on his tongue. His hand slips out of yours to curl around your waist, grabbing onto your hip and squeezing. As your kisses start getting heavier and slower, your once-occupied hand moves to land on his chest, your thumb pushing into the tender muscle located there. His flesh jumps beneath your touch, but he allows you to continue groping at him through his shirt, his own hands beginning to knead at you. Before you know it, your knee swings over his thighs and you’re hovering on top of his lap, not sitting down on him just yet as you realize the position you’ve put yourself in.

You can notice the change— you’ve faced this exact scenario many times before. Shouto’s hands freeze up, locking into their current position, and he only returns your passionate kisses, not allowing his body much more movement than that. You try to just keep kissing him, but all the doubts and fears quickly pile up inside of you, and you pull away from him. You can’t even look at him. You’re too scared to speak, and too reluctant to get off of him, only leaning back to create a divide between his face and yours. Trying to hide your face before he can see your defeated expression, you dive into his chest, arms folding tight around his neck.

Shouto’s still frozen in place, but he seems to sense your distress. His arms slowly circle around your waist, fingers moving to trace up and down your spine. He softly exhales against your hair, letting out the breath he was holding in ever since you swung onto his lap. “Y/N? Are you alright?” he asks quietly after a brief pause, his voice soft and low, soothing to your wary ears. “You haven’t been acting like yourself today…”

After a long pause, you sigh, trying your best not to get emotional. “It’s just…” I’m so fucking attracted to you but you won’t let me touch you, you want to say, but you’re too terrified to say it aloud. What can you even say to him that would be better than that?

Shouto’s arms around you squeeze gently, indicating his patience in awaiting your answer. “It’s okay,” he murmurs, his lips grazing over your ear and placing a discreet kiss there. “Whatever it is, we can face it together.”

You let out a soft sniffle and Shouto pulls you tighter into his chest, his heart cracking at your sound of sadness. But his words bring a surprising amount of comfort to you, and you clear your throat before you lean back again, looking into his two-toned irises. His gaze is sympathetic, his eyes holding a visible amount of affection and support. “Well, I…”

He nods slightly, leaning forward to show his encouragement. “Go ahead, love…”

“Are… Are you attracted to me?”

It comes out more high-pitched than you would’ve liked, but at least it’s out— and he definitely heard you, judging from the wide-eyed shock painted across his face.

“Am I— What?” He stutters, his head tilting automatically in confusion. “I— of course I’m attracted to you, I’m… you’re my girlfriend.” Shouto looks at you incredulously, his arms falling to his side so that only his hands remain on your hips. “You’re the most attractive person I know, love. You’re gorgeous, inside and out,” he elaborates. “The whole package.”

His compliments butter you up, a small smile forming on your lips as you shyly look to your hands folded in your lap. “Not the whole package…” you mumble, squirming slightly as his hands come to hold either side of your face.

“Yes, the whole package,” he insists, nuzzling your nose against his. “Beautiful,” he declares as he kisses your cheek.

“Kind.” A smooch to the other cheek.

Your heart beats excitedly in your chest, thumping loudly against your ribs with each compliment.

“Courageous.” A kiss to the chin.

“Witty.” A peck to the forehead.

“Sexy?” you blurt it out just as he swoops in to press his lips to yours.

Shouto falters, pulling back just a hair as he looks at you in shock. “S-Sexy?” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but by the way his cheeks and ears are tinged a bright pink, it’s clear your suggestion was a bit too much for him.

The way he stutters out the adjective in confusion has your heart tearing in two. “Y-You don’t…?”

You’re staring directly at him, his wide eyes locked with yours and his body frozen to the couch. His lips are slightly parted, but no words come out of him.

Silence.

This is not how you want this conversation to go— you aren’t prepared for it to go like this. The tears you had successfully fought off before come back with vengeance.

Only once Shouto sees you hang your head in embarrassment, your eyes getting glassier by the second, he springs into action. “Hey, no, that’s not…” he starts to speak, sounding more worried by the second. His hand goes to cup your face, the warmth of his quirk evident in his touch as his finger dries over a fresh track of tears on your cheek. “I… of course I think you’re sexy, love. I’m sorry, you just caught me by surprise… You don’t think I know how sexy you are?”

You can only reply with a lame shrug, unwilling to let his eyes meet yours as you hide your face behind your curtain of hair. You try to slide off his lap, ready to retreat to the bathroom and wipe away your pathetic tears, but Shouto doesn’t let you move away from him, his arms locking tight around your waist and forcing you to lean against his chest.

“Talk to me, baby,” he pleads, nuzzling into the side of your face. His voice is more gentle than you’ve ever heard before, and you hate to admit your stomach is doing cartwheels at how sweet he’s being. “I love you no matter what, and I hate to see you so upset. I’m not good at figuring these things out on my own, just tell me what’s wrong, love. Please?”

He gives you a few moments to gather yourself, his fingers massaging your stiff muscles as you cling onto him. Once you’re confident enough to speak, your words come out barely loud enough for him to hear. “It’s just that… whenever I think we’re about to take it to the next level, you pull away. I want to respect your boundaries, Sho, but I can’t help but feel like it’s because you don’t… want me.” The hands on your body still at that, your boyfriend taking in a sharp breath as you pause, then decide to continue. “I’m just… so attracted to you, Shouto… I want to be mindful of your limits, but I can’t help but want to touch you all the time. I’m— I’m sorry if that sounds indecent.”

Shouto murmurs your name lowly against your ear, his large palm once again rubbing over your spine in an effort to comfort you as he tries to piece together the correct words. “This is…  a terrible miscommunication, and it’s all my fault...” he sighs, his voice dropping lower and becoming quieter, his insecurities leaking into his voice. “I’m so sorry to have made you feel like this… I promise that’s not the case.”

His words are enough to numb your worries, and you lean back so you’re able to look him in the eye as you wait for him to continue. He takes a deep breath before he sighs again, knowing he has to tell you the truth now, but worrying that he’s about to ruin everything the two of you have built over these past months.

“The reason that I push you away every time is… well, I—” he gulps nervously, and it’s your turn to look at him with encouragement. You take one of his hands in yours, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles as he tries to find the best way to explain his reasoning. “It’s not because you’re unattractive, it’s— I mean, if anything, you’re too… too attractive, and I get…” he trails off, his cheeks now a bright shade of pink that you’ve never really seen before. It’s the first time you’ve seen the usually collected man so flustered, and a part of you feels guilty for causing him such discomfort. Just as you’re about to cut in and tell him he doesn’t have to continue, he does. “I… I’ve never been with anyone… like that before.”

You blink at him in confusion.

Shouto just seems to get even pinker, and he quickly starts explaining himself as he takes in your dazed expression. “I know you probably thought I had all this experience because I’ve been a top Hero for some time now, but I just— I never met anyone before that cared about me like this and I just never wanted to do— well, to do that with a stranger.”

“You’re… a virgin?”

Shouto’s red at this point, his hot side nearly catching fire as he buries his face behind his hand, too embarrassed to face you at this point. “Yes, I’m sorry to disappoint you, love. I just… I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and I— I wanted to impress you so badly, Y/N. I… I should’ve told you this from the start, I’m so sorry to have caused you such doubt.”

His voice is just above a whisper now, his fingers clutching onto the fabric of your shirt as if he’s afraid you’ll get off his lap and walk straight out the front door at his confession. “Shouto…” You can’t stop the smile that begins to curl the corners of your mouth. This is the reason he wouldn’t go any further with you? Not because he didn’t find you attractive? Your heart feels heavy thumping against your ribcage, giddiness flooding your bloodstream.

Your boyfriend gapes at your smile, brows furrowed in confusion. “Wait, you’re not… disappointed?” At the instant shake of your head, his discomfort eases significantly. “R-Really? But everyone thinks I’m, well… kind of a womanizer I guess, I thought you’d at least expect—”

You click your tongue at him, shaking your head as you tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “When have I ever given a shit about others’ expectations of you, Shouto? I love you for you, Sho… you make me so happy just as you are.”

Shouto melts at your words, a sigh of relief escaping his lungs as he crushes you to his chest. Your sweet scent fills his nose as he kisses the top of your head, and you bask in his touch as you hug him back. “You’re right, love, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner… I hate that you felt unwanted because of me. I promise, you’re the only one I’ve ever felt this way about, I— I’m so attracted to you as well. I love you so much.”

Your lips meet his in a passionate kiss, all the hurt and doubts that built over the last few months dissolving into the shadows. Only the light, warm feeling of your love is left behind, glowing brighter than ever before.

Shouto’s fingers crawl up the back of your neck, bringing your face closer to his as he deepens the kiss, his tongue sweeping across your lips before you allow him entrance. Your fingers push into his silky hair, nails gently scratching at his scalp and he groans at the action, letting your tongue take control and invade his mouth instead. Your breaths starting to become ragged, you both pull away for a moment to breathe. As you look into each others’ eyes, you both begin to laugh softly, the pair of you equally content with how your heart-to-heart had gone.

“So, you do think I’m sexy, then?” You smirk, pleased with this new knowledge.

Shouto chuckles, nudging your face to the side so he can place a trail of kisses down the column of your throat. “Is that all you got from that?” He teases, nipping at your skin playfully.

You close your eyes, enjoying how his love bites feel on your quickly-heating flesh. “One of a few things…” Your breathing becomes deeper as his lips begin to gently suck on the faded marks he’d just made. “Mmm, Sho~”

He hums as your arms wrap tight around his shoulders, tongue caressing the skin he’s sucked into his mouth. Your thighs twitch on either side of his lap when he pulls away, cold breath cooling the wet, darkened patch of skin on your throat. He swears under his breath as his hands trail down your waist to your hips, thumbs resting on the top of your bottoms.

“Would you, um… want to try something new, then?” You offer, sitting back to look him in the eye, ready to catch any amount of uncertainty in his two-toned gaze. But you find none, for he captures your lips again and nibbles on your bottom lip, another hum or approval vibrating against your mouth.

From there he hands the reins to you, opting to lean back into the cushions of the sofa as your tongue guides his in a slow embrace. Your palms both land on his chest, fingertips starting to massage the thick muscles underneath his t-shirt. Shouto sighs as your hands slide down his torso, and just as they dip underneath he sits up slightly, tearing the flimsy material over his head in one quick sweep. With the fabric out of your way, you try to keep yourself calm, your eyes now feasting on his broad, sculpted chest and abs. Saliva begins to pool in your mouth at the wonderful sight, your tongue poking out to wet your lips as you scan over his physique again and again.

Just as he’s about to make fun of your lustful stare, you move in to place a few light kisses to his jaw and neck, the action making him tense up and flex his gorgeous torso for you. Careful not to leave any marks on his throat, you make your way down his chest, taking a moment to leave a ring of wet smooches around his nipple. The muscles jump again for you, his body sensitive to your foreign touch as you slowly take the bud into your mouth, sucking just enough for him to squirm.

“That kind of… ahh, tickles,” Shouto mumbles as your tongue traces over his skin, his bottom lip between his teeth as you move to the other side of his chest and repeat the action. He sighs as you pull away, welcoming the kiss you place on his lips afterwards. His abs become rigid underneath the slow trail of your fingernails that move south, his eyes opening mid-way through the kiss as your hand grows closer and closer to his pelvis.

Just as he’s about to pull away, you move back from his mouth, your shirt flying over your head and onto the floor behind you. Shouto can barely breathe as he looks at your bare skin, the smooth expanse of your shoulders to your hips on display for him, save for the bra covering your chest. He’s fixated on the tops of your breasts, the round, smooth flesh mesmerizing him completely. Sure, he’s seen your cleavage before, but in comparison to this, that’s nothing.

“W-Wow…” he falters, struggling to tear his gaze off of them. There’s a little bow in the middle of the cloth contraption, and he can’t help but compare the sight before him to a present. Oh, how he wants to unwrap it…

You giggle at his awe-struck expression, your self-esteem soaring higher than it has in months. Just as you’re about to instruct him, he moves a hand to cup one side of your bra, his thumb running over your skin. A whimper escapes you when he squeezes you, his face moving closer so that the tip of his nose runs across your collarbone, his lips ghosting kisses across your chest. You wonder if he can feel your heart racing beneath his lips as they trace the cusp of your bra— how it races when he presses his face between your tits, inhaling the warm, clean smell of you that lingers there. “M-Mphhh, Sho…” you sigh as he sucks a hickey into your skin, his mouth pulling your flesh out from under the fabric cup.

Your hands fumble as they move behind your back to undo the clasp, but Shouto doesn’t have time for that, it seems. Instead, he opts to push the straps from your shoulders, tugging the bottom of the material down your ribs and completely exposing your chest to him without ever moving his mouth from your skin. You still manage to unclasp the confining material, letting it fall to the ground without a care. When he does finally let go of you, he moves back to examine your naked chest, his lower lip disappearing between his straight, white teeth. His eyes are half-lidded, and he dives straight back into your chest, circling around your areola with swift kisses and teasing licks, repeating the same process you had done to him. His warm mouth enveloping your nipple makes you let out a stifled cry, your hips jerking against his lap on their own accord.

Shouto moans at the movement, his hand gently squeezing your other breast as he sucks on the pert bud in his mouth, tongue swirling around it with ease. You reposition so your legs are on either side of one of his, placing your clothed core against the rough material of his jeans and beginning to move your hips in slow, wide movements. It only urges Shouto on, for he switches his attention to the other side of his chest and repeats the same ministrations there, one hand coming to cup your ass and move in tune with your slow gyrations.

At this point you can feel yourself leaking onto your panties, your excitement only multiplying as he allows you to grind against him. You’d never imagined he’d be so eager to touch you, after so much time of him rejecting your advances. But you couldn’t care about that now, with your pussy brushing all over his muscular thigh and his mouth attacking your bare chest. The thrill only increases further when you readjust your hips, moving closer to him and feeling the hardness of his erect cock tucked into the front of his pants. You can feel your cunt twitching around nothing, drooling even more for him as you rub yourself against his front, your head falling back as you start to pant.

Shouto whines at the friction, his face falling into the corner of your neck as he tries to gather himself. Was this what he had been missing out on all this time? He sighs as he wonders what you look like completely naked— how you would look with your legs spread for him, wrapped around his skull, or better yet— his waist. The knowledge that you want him is too tempting— he can’t get enough of you, can’t stop himself from shoving his thumbs under the hem of your bottoms. And then you’re standing, letting your clothing hit the floor and leaving yourself exposed for his eyes, save for your panties which have another little bow at the front. His eyes travel up and down your legs— a part of you that has always attracted him, perhaps a bit too much. They look delicious presented like this before him, bare and inviting all along your calves and thighs, then leading to the panties that barely cover your hips. His cock twitches in his jeans as he inspects the marks he’d just made all across your chest, a possessive conscience inside of him murmuring its satisfaction.

“Is this okay?” You ask as you sink to your knees in front of the couch, looking up at him with cautious, yet lust-ridden eyes. The recognition of your desire makes his own appetite spike, and he nods his affirmation to you.

You smirk up at him, moving closer to him and sliding between his legs. He holds his breath as you start to kiss up his thigh, starting from the inside of his knee and moving your way toward your destination. Your hand reaches up to soothe down his chest, your other hand cupping the underside of his thigh and moving in sync with your mouth. Your fingers finally meet the button on his jeans, and he lets out the breath he was holding as you undo the metal zipper. He helps you peel the denim off his thighs, leaving the material bunched at his knees as you inspect his hard member through his tight, black boxer-briefs. You take a moment to thank whatever God there is for blessing you with such a nice cock; you can tell even through his underwear that he’s long, and thick.

The very tip pokes out of the band at the top, him having tucked it up at some point when the pair of you were initially making out. What you can see is dark pink and glazed with a pearlescent sheen of pre-cum, the material at the top of his briefs slightly damp. The legs on either side of you keep tensing and fidgeting, and as you reach a hand for his shaft his hips shift backwards, away from your touch.

“Hey,” you murmur softly, stroking his thigh as you look up at him. His expression is guarded, but you can see the uncertainty that shines through his gaze, the mask that successfully keeps others out futile to you. “Are you sure you want to continue? It’s okay if we stop here, baby.” You push yourself to sit taller using the tops of his knees, placing a long kiss to his cheek and giving him a nuzzle of understanding.

Shouto frowns, leaning into you and taking a deep breath. “No, I want to… I just, I guess I’m a little nervous? I’m not quite sure what to do…” he explains, unsure of himself.

“You don’t have to do anything,” you reply, kissing his cheek again as you continue. “Just sit back and relax, baby. I promise I’m gonna take care of you, gonna make you feel so good. Let me know if you want to stop at any time, alright?”

He smiles at your understanding, nodding and verbalizing an “Alright” before you capture his lips with yours. You kiss him with all the passion you can muster, and it distracts him enough to relax into the couch cushions, your hand coming up to cup his sharp jawline. Your tongues are busy tangling together when your hand lands on his abs, which jump under your touch but eventually they, too, relax after a few minutes.

When your fingers wrap around his cock through his briefs, he tenses underneath you again, his hips pushing toward you as your hand starts to move up and down. Shouto makes a muffled noise as your hand finds a steady, torturously slow rhythm, your hand squeezing around his thick shaft through the dark, cotton material. His hand comes up to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of your neck and pulling slightly. You move your hand in accordance with the muffled sounds that escape him through your kiss, his hushed moans adding fuel to the inferno in your stomach.

After a few minutes of your slow, over-the-briefs handjob, you move back from his searing kiss, a string of saliva extending between your mouths. Your eyes lock with his, intensity sizzling as you both move the briefs off his legs, his cock springing upright in the bottom field of your vision. His length jumps when your fingers brush against the tip, gathering the silvery slickness of his pre-cum and using it to coast your fist down around his shaft, squeezing just enough to create a pleasant tightness around him.

Shouto swears as you start to jerk your fist around his thickness, your smaller hand creating a different sensation and much more appealing visual than the sight of his own fingers wrapped around himself. He moans when your hand glides over the head of his cock, his grip tightening on your hair as his eyelids flutter closed. You kiss his cheek again, catching his attention as he turns to you and allows your tongue to enter his mouth. You take all the whimpers pouring from his lips and greedily swallow them, your lips dancing with his in tune with your strokes.

Slowly you move away from his face, his lips following yours until you gently push him back to rest against the back of the sofa again. He allows you to move him backwards, heaving for air as your hot and heavy kisses leave him breathless. Once you lower your face to his lap, he tenses up, although his hips shuffle forward eagerly. You make sure to lock eyes with him as you move your mouth towards the flushed head of his cock, and you keep his gaze steady as your lips wrap around the very tip of him.

“S-Shit Y/N,” he gasps, watching as his member gradually disappears into your mouth. You glide your lips down his thick length slowly, trying not to overwhelm him as you start to suck on the tip, your hand beginning to jerk his shaft at the same time. When your lips move down, so does your hand, and as Shouto becomes accustomed to the wet, tight heat of your mouth, you slowly take more and more of him into your mouth, until the head of his cock brushes the back of your throat. Shouto throws his head back onto the top of the cushions, a hand pushing his hair off his forehead and backwards as he loudly voices his pleasure in a cacophony of moans.

The noises that slither out of the man underneath you are delicious, and you can’t seem to get enough as your pace begins to pick up. Your hand is still wrapped around the base of his length, his cock too big to fit all the way in your throat, but that doesn’t stop you from trying to take him anyways. Pulling back just long enough to take in a breath of fresh air, you smile at his wrecked expression above you, tongue tracing over your lips. “Mmm, does that feel good, baby? Do you like when I suck your cock like this?”

“Ahhaaaa, fuck— y-yeah, like that, baby… yesyesyes you feel so good,” Shouto blabbers nearly incoherently as your throat glides around his aching member. Given his stuttered response, you happily service him, content to finally have him at your disposal. His length is too impressive to comfortably fit in your mouth, your jaw stretching to accommodate him as you swallow around him, successfully stealing a broken gasp from him in response. You close your eyes and allow yourself to focus on keeping a steady rhythm for both your mouth and hand to follow. His moans just keep getting louder, a breathless array of oh, fuck, shit, yeah, ahh, and yeses with every bob of your head.

As you’re diligently sucking him off, Shouto is barely keeping it together underneath you. His cock is twitching and leaking pre-cum down your throat, his balls heavy with the need to release. He watches your lips move up and down his length, your hand following suit at the very base. His mind wanders as he wonders where you want him to finish; inside your mouth, on your tits, on your face? He groans as he pictures all three, imagining you covered in his sticky seed, wherever it may end up, has him feeling close much too quick. But he can’t stop himself, and he can’t bring himself to stop you, either— you feel so fucking good on his cock. You’re better than he ever could imagine, and it’s just your mouth that’s wrapped around him— he can’t even imagine how between your legs will feel. He barely manages to mumble your name in warning as he feels his climax coming, too charged for him to do anything to stop it.

Luckily you already know he’s about to finish, for his muscles tighten up and strain as ample warning for his imminent release. You move your lips down his cock, taking in as much as you can before he’s calling out your name and shooting a thick, heavy load down your throat. You choke on his release, not much room in your mouth to begin with, with how long and thick he is already. He’s still gushing cum as you pull off of him, a few ropes of white spraying across your lips and chin while his body shakes in ecstasy.

You sit back and wipe his release off your face with your wet hand, licking the excess off your skin as you watch Shouto’s soul return to his body. He’s struggling to catch his breath, eyes barely open as he looks down at you sitting between his legs. Despite the heaviness in his limbs, he still gathers your arms in his hands, pulling you up onto the sofa to hover over his lap. He sighs as he nuzzles his face into your neck, your soft skin helping to draw him back from the euphoric heaven you had just sent him to. His arms wrapping around you loosely, he starts to kiss your neck, his long eyelashes tickling your jaw as he showers your skin in affection. His attention makes butterflies flap around inside your stomach, and that scorching heat ignites again as his fingers slide down your waist to the band of your panties.

You try to draw back to look at him, but Shouto’s grip on you is too secure, and he won’t let you pull away from him as he just nuzzles deeper into your neck. You can’t help but gasp when his fingers dive underneath the sides of your panties— his palms gliding against your bare hips and digits splaying across your ass. “S-Sho,” you whine as he cups your ass cheeks, pulling your hips to slot above his, his cock already erect again. You whimper when he guides you closer to him, the very tip of his cock catching at just the right angle to brush against the wet patch on your underwear. Hell, the whole underside of your panties is soaked with your arousal, your pussy probably more saturated than ever before. You’re so turned on, you can’t think straight as your hips begin to weakly shift back and forth, rubbing his cockhead along your clothed slit.

Shouto sighs as his hand recedes from your panties, instead moving to rub your dripping slit through the drenched material. You moan at the feeling of his hand through the fabric, your slick in such quantity that when he pulls his hand away, a thick string of your arousal trails after his fingers. He groans at the sight, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together to test the viscosity. He makes a mental note that this must be what’s meant when one has a “wap”, or “wet ass pussy”, as he recalls from a certain song. His heart is racing in his chest, the discovery of your cunt so ready for him only making his cock strain harder against your sopping panties.

“So wet…” Shouto mumbles as he touches you again, cupping your core through your underwear and rubbing his palm against your clit. He watches intently as your face contorts in pleasure, and he rolls his palm against your front again experimentally, making a mental note of your increased sensitivity there.

Before he moves any further though, he presses his lips to yours in an intense kiss, successfully distracting you as he slides your underwear to the side. He can feel your pussy twitch and contract against his hand when he lines the tips of two fingers up with the hole that your slick is pouring out of. And he can definitely feel you spasm around him as he slides the digits inside with ease, remembering to curl the tips of them just as the countless guides and videos he had watched in preparation for such activities suggested.

“Y-Yes, ahh my God, Sho—” you gasp at the intrusion, your walls fluttering around the fingers.

His long digits slowly move in and out of you, the tips curling into your spongy walls as they sheath inside you completely. You moan at the sensation of his fingers inside of you, moving a hand to your front to rub your clit. It’s not long before you’re humping his hand, your arousal leaking onto his palm as you seat your hips back and forth on his fingers. Your mouth is hanging open, intense pleasure emanating from his fingertips rubbing that gummy spot located just deep enough for your fingers to be too short to reach. You can feel your orgasm building with each roll of the hips, a slow and steady escalation toward certain ecstasy.

Shouto moans along with you, watching the look of bliss on your face each time you sit back onto his fingers, and committing it to memory. You look absolutely captivating getting off on his hand, but the urge to feel you wrapped around his cock is too strong to ignore. He pulls his hand out of your cunt, watching as the syrupy slick trails after his fingers before severing, the warm, slimy wetness returning to your spread pussy. The sight is too enticing to just look at— he grabs his cock and jerks himself a few times, watching your slick spread across his length. It feels unlike any other lubricant he’s used— spit, lotion, shampoo all nothing in comparison to the sweet nectar your body produces just for him— simply divine. 

If he thinks that’s divine, pressing his cock into you is as if the gates of heaven have been exploded open with dynamite, drowning him in a pool of ethereal ambrosia that he never wants to escape. Your walls stretch around his girth and hug him like never before; it’s wetter, tighter, and hotter than anything he’s ever imagined, and if he hadn’t already cum from your mouth just minutes before, he’s sure he would’ve cum right here and now.

You’re just about there, only a third of his cock managing to push into you before your walls start to clamp, that tension in your abdomen intensifying at an alarming rate. You throw your head back and moan unabashedly as his cock glides into you entirely in one movement, your cunt wringing snug around him as you cum. You’d be ashamed if it were with anyone else, but Shouto’s so thick and long that you just let yourself ride out your orgasm, your cunt pulsing and squeezing him tight. It feels like a religious experience cumming on his cock— he’s by far the biggest you’ve ever taken, and it’s been so long since you’ve had sex in the first place that you’re too turned on to care. A fresh wave of slick begins to leak from deep inside you, the aftermath of your abrupt orgasm coming in handy as you finally come-to enough to move your hips.

Shouto’s holding onto you for dear life at this point, knuckles white as his fingers dig bruises into your hips. He’s never been squeezed so tight before— never felt anything like your pussy, like you cumming on his cock. And even though he’s overwhelmed with the mesmerizing feeling, he still manages to keep his cool somehow, now evening his breath as he begins to thrust up into you. He decides he loves your moans— every noise you make from being impaled by his huge cock is music to his ears, a symphony he never wants to end.

“A-Ahaa ha, Shoutooo~” you cry, fireworks bursting across your nerves. “You’re so big, ah— it— it feels so gooood.”

You can’t seem to close your mouth— it’s too hard to focus on anything besides what might as well be his third leg thrusting into you over and over. His movements are relentless; never allowing you to come down from the high you’d been catapulted into with just one stroke of his cock. He’s so big inside of you, he’s probably the largest you can take while still feeling pleasure instead of pain. You feel like you’re the one losing your virginity here, not him— because, God have you never felt so filled to the brim in your life— his cock stretches and penetrates you so deliciously that you feel like any orgasm you’ve had before this doesn’t really count. It can’t count, can’t compare to this, to him.

Shouto is on the same page as you, desperately drilling into your sloppy cunt as if his life depends on it. It feels so good to be squeezed by your tight little hole, to have your fingernails dig crescent-moons into the skin on his shoulder blades, and hear your desperate cries for him. “Fuck, you— you feel so good, baby,” he pants, letting your pussy fall onto his lap and swallow his cock inside of you. “You’re so fucking sexy, y-yeah… so wet for me, so good for me.”

His praise causes a wave of goosebumps to rise across your skin, a burst of energy surging through you as you start to move your hips in sync with his thrusts. Shouto’s pace weakens as he lets you take control, sitting back and absorbing the pleasure that flows through his entire body at the quick snap of your hips. He feels like he’s in a trance as your hands move to grip the tops of his shoulders, leveraging yourself so your hips swing in a perfect arc that allows his cock to glide in and out of you completely. He watches as your hips swing back, the head of his cock slipping out of you halfway, only to be slurped back inside your tight heat all the way to the base.

Sweat is starting to accumulate and drip down your bodies, but neither of you are paying attention to that— Shouto reaches out and gropes your chest, fingers trapping your nipple and rolling it gently. You mewl at the sensation, your hips working even faster now, the dull ache of another climax forming in the pit of your stomach. You furiously hump his lap, your thrusts becoming off-beat and sloppy as your muscles scream with exertion. Frustration blooms in your heart— your stamina must have reduced in the past few months of abstinence.

“Sho, I’m… gonna cum again, fuck I’m so close,” you whine, pushing your ass onto his lap and stirring your guts with his cock as you swivel your hips.

Shouto hums at your confession, an arm winding around your hips and his hand landing on the plush underside of your thigh. His fingers dig into your flesh as he supports your body with his arm, his hips rutting up into yours with force. Each thrust has stars dancing along the borders of your vision, the power behind his hips much stronger than your desperate humping from before.

“I wanna feel you cum on my cock again, Y/N,” Shouto moans, tongue poking out to flick against your nipple, your tits in his face due to the change of position. “Want you to squeeze me and milk everything out of me, y-yeah…”

You nearly scream when his thumb finds your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves with vigor as those two-toned eyes bore into yours. The surprise quickly morphs into bliss, your cunt wringing around his length as you feel yourself hurtle toward your orgasm for the second time. It’s not long before you’re there, ecstasy rushing through your entirety as you clutch onto him tightly, your toes curling and body shaking from the rush.

“Fuck,” he swears, both hands moving to grab your hips and pound his cock into your quivering cunt, delivering another level of pleasure to your orgasm. His bottom lip is trapped between his teeth, eyes darting between your face and your wet pussy that keeps swallowing him whole. “Ahaah— c-cumming—”

Shouto lets out a loud groan as he pulls out of you, hot, white ribbons of cum spurting across your stomach as he climaxes. Your hand reaches down to jerk him off and he continues to paint your skin with his seed, his body shaking as his orgasm ripples through him. His throbbing length is slick with your love juices, making it easy for your fingers to slide around him.

His head hits the back of the couch as he releases the last of his load, chest heaving while he tries to collect himself. The devastating pleasure of your climax leaves your body feeling weightless and your brain loopy, and all you can do is lean against his athletic physique and catch your breath.

“I love you,” Shouto whispers seriously in your ear, fingers deftly playing with the ends of your hair. He means it; he feels like his heart is so full of happiness, and he’s so comfortable basking in the afterglow of his orgasm with your naked skin on his.

You stifle the laugh that bubbles up in your throat, a small smile playing on your lips. “So sweet~” you tease, cuddling your face into his neck as his hands rub the length of your back. “I love you too, Shouto.”

Shouto hums in content, arms hugging you tight against him for a brief moment before he relaxes again. “I’m so lucky to have you,” he confesses softly, nudging the side of your face with his nose. He can feel your lips turn into a grin against his chest, and he smiles at your content.

“You’re being so sappy right now,” you point out, unable to stop smiling as you turn to look at him. “I really like this side of you, I’m happy to see you like this.”

“I’m happy, too,” he murmurs, his lips pressing against yours in a sweet and short kiss. “I kind of wish we did this sooner though…”

You laugh at that, and his soft smile turns into a grin that he doesn’t bother to conceal. “Mmm, I think it was worth the wait,” you disagree, snuggling closer to him and rubbing your skin against his affectionately.

Shouto looks down at you resting against his chest, examining your blissful smile and eyes closed in content. Yes, he thinks.

You were worth the wait.

  ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

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wow that ended so soft pls excuse me im on my period and so emotional at the moment lmfaoooo... okokokok but post coitus snuggly sho is KILLING M E ... anywAYY lol let me know if you enjoyed!! this was kinda different from the usual smut i write so! i’d love any feedback i could get :) 

as always, thanks for reading! 💗

➥ masterlist

𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐩𝐢 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

[arts-and-drafts]

Reconnaissance (Hermit Tommy AU)

(hooo boy here comes the start of a very long project, in which wrongs try to be righted in more worlds than one. This is a slight continuation of the fic Vulnerable, so maybe check that out of you're confused. Enjoy!)

TW: Death

-

Legend has it that the End connects all worlds.

There is countless spawns, countless new worlds created every second, but there is only one End. The End connects all threads of the wide, wide universe, and if you go far enough, you can see the start of other civilizations on pale islands farther out than the fabled badlands. If you go far enough, if you traverse the End more than any have before, you can start to see beginnings.

Xisuma knows this is all talk. But all legends start in truth. The End is where the admin begins his search.

He's surprised to find Tommy's old world very quickly.

There are few worlds that are completely closed off from the End, and of those few only one is still actively inhabited.

The Dream SMP. The name can't be a coincidence.

Xisuma turns to the world's history now, the hardest part of locating the world now over. It's then that Xisuma learns the best news; the world is regularly open to MCC, and that means a way in.

He tells only Tango of his plan, prepares him for the worst. If Xisuma leaves and doesn't return, Hermitcraft won't have an admin, and the world will die. It would be irresponsible to leave with that much responsibility on his shoulders, but Xisuma would not ask any of his hermits to go in his place, and he reminds Tango firmly of this when the mod protests his decision.

Xisuma spends the next month teaching Tango how to take up the mantle of admin while Xisuma is gone, and before the night of MCC he relinquishes the power in its entirety to his closest confidant. The transfer of administrator leaves both Xisuma and Tango out of commission for quite a while, Xisuma's body struggling through the sudden withdrawal of magic and Tango's attempting to adjust to the influx of power that came too quickly for him to process.

Xisuma departs while Tango rests, leaving the unsure promise of return in his wake in a book and quill before he steps through the portal to MCC.

Xisuma knows where to go. The portal to the Dream SMP has been reignited since the scare last time, and the former admin easily slips through the gateway during the hubbub of the event.

xisumavoid joined the game

<FoolishG> o/

<Ranboo> who

<ItsFundy> wait what

<xisumavoid> Hello. Do any of you know a Dream?

<awesamdude> Who are you?

Xisuma stared at his communicator screen. He chose to not disclose his reasoning for his arrival, on edge because of Tommy's state he was in when he found Hermitcraft. These people could be extremely dangerous.

<xisumavoid> I'm Xisuma, I'm not going to stay long. I just need to speak with Dream. This is his world, correct?

Silence.

Xisuma nervously tucked his communicator away. This world had set him on edge enough; his ability of perception was not as heightened as it used to be since his admin abilities were passed over, but he could still feel that the magic of this world was strained and warped.

The magic of Hermitcraft that he was used to felt light, warm, like a summer breeze on a perfect day, with small snaps of explosive energy that came from volatile and powerful players all in one space. It was generally pleasant.

This world felt...dull. Dull and stretched out too far, as if there wasn't enough magic to go around. What little there was felt tainted somehow, wrong in a way that Xisuma could not describe.

It was suffocating. Xisuma wanted to be out of there as quickly as he could.

The former admin looked around, cringing slightly at the awful mess of cobblestone and dirt and wood planks that made up a wall all around spawn. Besides the crude structure, spawn was abandoned and uninhabited.

Odd.

Xisuma chose not to dwell on it too much, and turned to a crack in the wall where he could leave the box.

He ventured out to a forest of spruce, nothing to be seen for 10 chunks in every direction. All that was in Xisuma's render distance was untouched trees.

The hermit tried his communicator again.

<xisumavoid> Where is everyone? There are no structures close to spawn. Can someone offer coordinates?

"Why are you here." Came a voice in response. Xisuma jumped out of his skin, whipping around so fast he nearly fell off the wall.

A creeper hybrid stood a few blocks from him, clad in ornate golden armor that Xisuma could tell was imbued with enchanted netherite. The look on his face was as cold and intimidating as his netherite sword clutched firmly in one of his paws.

"Uh--hello! I'm here to see Dream." Xisuma replied warily. "What's your name?"

"Sam." The hybrid offered bluntly. "And I can't let you see him."

A flicker of confusion disrupted the growing unease in Xisuma's mind. "I'm unarmed, I promise-"

"It's not for him." Sam cut him off, and Xisuma swallowed his words.

"...I don't understand." Xisuma said, getting the feeling that his wariness of the new server was not nearly enough as it should be. It was then that the hermit noticed Sam deflate, only barely, but enough for Xisuma to see that the hybrid was crushed with guilt.

"...He killed the last person that tried to talk to him." Sam explained lowly. Xisuma blinked. "For your safety and the server's, I can't let you see him. I don't know you, and I don't know if you're here to break him out."

"I'm not worried about dying, I--why is it a big deal?" Xisuma asked carefully. Sam's head snapped up to stare at him with hollow eyes, sending a shiver down the hermit's spine despite how close he was with Doc.

"...It was his last life." Sam said, slowly and deliberately, speaking as if it was terrible taboo to utter the words.

"You can't respawn here?" Xisuma asked, his unease pitching. There was respawn magic here, he could feel it, this wasn't a hardcore world.

"We can." Sam explained curtly. "But if we die and it's important, it's...that's it. We only get three lives."

Sam then looked down, and Xisuma noticed how tired the hybrid suddenly seemed. His paw clenched the hilt of his sword so tight that it shook in his grip.

"Tubbo only had one left." Sam muttered thickly, his voice full of regret and bitterness. Xisuma's stomach dropped.

"...Tubbo is dead?" The hermit realized, slowly. Sam looked up, his eyes now very suspicious as he looked Xisuma over again.

"Who are you? Why are you talking like you know Tubbo and Dream?" Sam interrogated, lifting his blade. Xisuma didn't even blink, his mind fuzzy with the static of shock and disbelief. Tubbo...was dead.

"I...came here for Tommy." Xisuma answered distantly. "He...I wanted to bring Tubbo back to him."

The color drained from Sam's face, but in Xisuma's state he really didn't have the energy to process the look of shock.

"Tommy's alive?"

_

"Tango, look into my eyes, only my eyes."

"No, nope." Tango jerked away from Keralis's hypnotizing stare. "Nice try."

"Tango," Keralis said again, his voice a disappointed purr. He really was laying it on thick. "I just want to know where Shishwammy is."

"He's doing important admin stuff, I told you!" Tango said, his bark having no real bite. Xisuma instructed him exactly; no one was to know where he went. X didn't want any of his hermits to follow him into that world of destruction.

Tango kept it locked, just as he promised, but Keralis was making it so difficult.

"Look, Keralis, I'm really tired. Can I please go back to resting." Tango tried. Keralis's huge eyes stared through him for a couple seconds, but then the hermit visibly backed off. Tango breathed a sigh of relief.

"...Get well soon, sweetface." Keralis hummed reluctantly, turning and shooting out the opening to Toon Towers. Tango watched his silhouette get smaller and smaller on the horizon before turning back to his bed.

What he told Keralis wasn't a lie. His bones felt like they'd been individually hit by a ravager from all the magic that now flowed through him. The humming of every life force in Hermitcraft had been giving him a nonstop headache.

He'd definitely gained more respect for Xisuma's role in their world after experiencing what that truly meant, but he always worryingly came back to the reason the power was given to him in the first place.

It'd been radio silence from Xisuma's end since he left for the SMP, but Tango could still feel his life force pulling at his mind, distantly. It was a very odd sensation, but knowing his friend was still alive and connected to Hermitcraft gave him comfort.

Still. Tango was out of his element, and he hoped Xisuma would return as soon as possible.

Splashing sounds of water gradually became louder and louder to Tango, making him throw an arm over his face in annoyance. He just wanted to sleep, void's sake.

"Tango, my friend! How are you, big man!" A punch to the arm startled Tango into nearly falling out of bed, Tommy's signature loud 'pah-HAH' following his scrambling attempt to get upright.

"Oh, shut up!" Tango said, a traitorous smile growing on his face while Tommy giggled.

"What do you want, Tommy." Tango sighed exaggeratedly. Tommy shuffled in place, a poorly hidden look of mischief in his eyes.

"...You have any TNT?" Tommy reached, and Tango pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course. "What for."

"I wanna scare Zedaph when he goes to bed with an explosion noise!" Tommy grinned, all coyness instantly abandoned. Tango locked eyes with the excited kid.

"Tommy, get your shulker boxes." Tango ordered, and Tommy gave a cheer, bolting for the ender chest in the corner. "All right! Gonna do fucked up shit, we're wrongens!"

"Hey, no swearing in front of the kids." Tango chastised goodnaturedly, prepared to say "you" when Tommy asked what children were around.

The question never came. Tango turned away from digging through his chests of gunpowder to check if Tommy had heard him, all humor fading away when he noticed the kid frozen in place looking down at the contents of his ender chest.

"Tom?" Tango asked, approaching with enough speed to not startle the boy. He peered over Tommy's head when there was no response, and found what looked to be a lodestone compass gripped in Tommy's scarred hand.

"...Tommy?" Tango tried again, hesitantly laying a hand on the kid's shoulder. "What's up?"

"It's." Tommy choked, and Tango tensed in alarm when he noticed tears threatening the boy's eyes. "It's not moving-"

"What?" Tango asked, and a stake was driven right through his chest when Tommy looked up with the most crushing expression of despair Tango has ever seen in his life.

"Tubbo's--" Tommy's face screwed up, the tears finally falling. He turned back to the still compass, caving in on himself to press it to his chest. A pitiful, grueling wail grew in the boy's throat, and Tango's eyes widened as he put the pieces together all at once.

That was a soul compass, and it was still. Whoever was on the other end was still as well.

Tommy's best friend was dead.

[atinymonster]

[KINGDOM: LEGENDARY WAR] episode four

ateez 9th member.

small text are editor’s captions on the screen! this one’s a little short since it’s mainly just ateez reacting to the other groups hehe

➴ taglist: @banhmi07, @jiyeons-closet, @jaeminpeachy, @mochibabycakes

➴ masterlist

“wooyoung stop tugging on my hair!”

“but we NEVER see you with pigtails!” he pouted

“i had it once for wave—”

poor jiyu kept getting her hair played with and (gently) tugged by the 99z + jongho

she was lowkey concerned with her outfit

“guys if i accidentally wack you with the chain, i’m so sorry”

“please don’t, i'm right next to you—” (yunho)

being the considerate soul she was, she tried toning down her movements to prevent any potential injuries

and she was anticipating the performances more since they all switched songs and because they were the ones that chose the order

she was once again, blown away by SF9

“oh wait, they’re fighting?” :(

“how do they all know how to fight like that—”

it felt like she was watching an action movie

after the small incident with SF9’s hwiyoung, she managed to smooth over it with him and they became friends :) social butterfly jiyu

(sunwoo was a little iffy on the idea but he trusts her)  🥺

since she was so used to the original version of the stealer, it was a weird feeling to see a different version of it

but their special effects and use of the stage was really eye catching

when it she realized the boyz chose o sole mio—

“close your mouth before a fly goes in” yeosang reached over and closed her jaw

“on this episode of jiyu being a fangirl for her boyfriend—” san joked

she loved the vibes of the original version, so to see the boyz infuse it with latin vibes and some tango

*chef’s kiSS*

“Personal feelings aside,” Jiyu added as a disclaimer, making the staff and her members laugh, “I can see why they won Road to Kingdom. They come up with a lot of cool ideas for their stages and their teamwork is top notch.”

“She loves them more than us sometimes,” Hongjoong joked. With a pout, Jiyu reached over and gently slapped his arm.

[PSA: Jiyu loves her members!]

“i can see why fans love this show,” she mused

it was so much fun watching others’ stages and their performance ideas

she loved their own performances as well since they were on a larger scale compared to their normal schedules

“your reactions are the best on the other episodes,” jongho commented

once it was iKON’s turn, she squealed

she and the boys grew so excited and curious

“i wonder what song they chose”

when changmin hinted that their performance had to do with space and time, she instantly knew

“they chose inception?”

she thought they would go for one of their high tension songs like thanxx or even wave

but either way, they were anticipating and honored to see one of their favorite sunbae groups perform one of their songs 🥺

seeing the moving stage props, she was drawn in

“it’s like the movie!”

when bobby rapped mingi’s verses, she recorded it and immediately sent it to mingi since she knew he was a really big fan 🥺

seeing junhoe cover her’s and seonghwa’s lines after donghyuk’s rap made her so happy

her eyes held the most adorable sparkles as she watched

“this feels weird!” (san)

“that’s our song!”

when it was over, she felt a sense of pride and just...amazement

“...guys iKON sunbaenim just covered our song..!”

“that means we’re up next, baby monster,” wooyoung reminded, tousling her hair as he stood up to stretch

nerves set in the moment she registered his words

“...right”

“please be careful with your outfit,” seonghwa reminded, noting the two chains on her top

“yeah, don’t go wacking yourself or any of us with it,” yeosang added

“no promises guys,” she sheepishly chuckled.

“Ah, ATEEZ is next,” Hyunjae mused, glancing at Sunwoo who had scooted a little closer to the TV in anticipation.��

“I saw Jiyu while on the way to the bathroom earlier. Her hair reminds me of Harley Quinn,” Eric described. 

Sunwoo was pretty excited to see their performance. Kingdom gave him an opportunity to see different sides of her while she was on stage. He’s only ever seen a more “normal” version of her, but Kingdom drew out the hidden passion in her. And he couldn’t wait to see more.