#is who’s on the end of the leash

[theborzoiarebackintown]

The professional handler announcer straight up saying handlers don’t influence the judge’s choices is hilarious

[wuruwan]

the big scary creature of green lake

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 79

  When Pariah was awoken from his slumber, he wasn’t exactly expecting it. One was never expecting to awaken when they were supposed to be sealed for eternity after all. He also wasn’t expecting for the reason the sarcophagus was even opened to be a pair of literal infants. A pair of very sick infants.

  One was a newborn ancient for Realms’ sake! Two years dead, if that, and the other- Where was their guardian?! Who had let an obsession get that bad?! How long had he been sealed away that no one had caught an obsession turning toxic and harmful towards a ghostling?! 

  Why was he even sealed inside this area of the zone?! Why had his Keep been moved in the center of one of the zones where ghostlings formed?! He’d never harm a ghostling, but if he’d been any madder (And he knows he had lost it near the end there, that he’d gone too far as he cracked under the weight of the Realms, he’d had an eternity to realize) it would have been a catastrophe! 

  Who has been in charge, the observants!? … What the fuck, that was supposed to be rhetorical! No! They’re good for paperwork but they seem to have failed even at that and- what do you mean they’ve sealed Clockwork away?! 

  The already traumatized Time Primordial who was in this type of area specifically to care for ghostlings, and was now being prevented?! How long has this been going on- No! He’s fixing his realms-damned kingdom before he even thinks about conquering other ones, because who the fuck let it get this bad!

   Pspsps, here little sick ghostlings, he’s trying very hard not to hurt you but you are very tiny and he has been locked away for a long time so please stop squirming…

[lorelune]

aventurine with a reader who is his handler. your primary job? risk analysis. you were an intelligentsia guild member-- once, before your talent for mental statistical computations were fully discovered. being quietly brilliant was much easier than being loudly so. where you could once toil away on private research on the ipc's dime, you now trail behind aventurine, attempting to mitigate all the damage that ripples around him.

(this is particularly difficult as aventurine is a man cursed with luck so good that it's a statistical anomaly. prediction is useless. calculations must be made on the fly and you must pray you are accurate, lest the strategic investment department end up in some amount of personal of fiscal debt themselves.)

aventurine had assured you initially that you didn't need to keep such a close eye on him. and at first, you'd believed him. he is one of the ten stonehearts, and well-regarded despite the rumors and brand on his neck. it's-- it's not your business anyway. to pry. you trust him.

and truthfully, he does keep a good handle on himself. he gets out of all of his gambles in one-- piece. sort of. he either skirts disaster with no room to spare or he takes on the disaster with his own two hands and grit and fucking wins.

and truthfully, if that was the only thing you had to analyze about aventurine, your job would be quite easy. he's lucky. he wins.

however-- there's just so much more to it than that. factors and variables that aren't affected by aventurine's uniquely good fortune. there always is. but what is and what isn't is hard to suss out. it-- it all constantly changes and hence you have to be in aventurine's shadow and hope that your mind is fast enough to deduce and calculate at the speed that aventurine cuts typical odds down to aventurine odds.

which is to say, that exhaustion follows in your shadow.

aventurine isn't a horrible boss. as much as you're his handler, he's yours. there's a semi-silent, mutual duty you both carry. aventurine makes sure you stay in his shadow, just out of sight and out of danger (so, he can position himself in front of any bullets, stray or otherwise. because they will never hit him.) and you make sure that he does not inadvertently cause a firestorm half a galaxy away.

it works. it's tenuous, most of the time. because aventurine thinks getting close to you is his greatest gamble (one cannot use luck to mend a broken heart). and because you recognize that, for all of your risk analysis and statistical understanding of the universe at large, at some point, you will be in aventurine's wake at the wrong time. and your luck, in conjunction to his endless luck, will run out.

it's a statistical inevitability.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Whooooo could have predicted this?

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[sleepinglionhearts]

Love when people come in with exotic animals and then get upset about other people coming over to interact with them and their exotic animals. Like. Ma'am. You are wandering around a bookstore in Central Texas with a BABY KANGAROO IN YOUR BAG. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO ASK YOU QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR NON-NATIVE SPECIES ANIMAL THAT YOU ARE CARRYING WITH YOU. IN PUBLIC.

[the-acid-pear]

Dave and Steven's relationship is so fucking mental literally THE toxicest of yaois 💥

[backpackingspace]

thinking about how for like the first two years of obi wans apprenticeship qui gon did not give a fuck what obi wan did (or even really what happened to him) before snapping out of it and realizing he was actually very much responsible for this child and course corrected into being a helicopter parent and how obi wan always read this as mistrust instead of concern and guilt.

[tothesolarium]

Logic: finish drawings im in the middle of

The imp at the steering wheel: RANDOM PERSON WHO IS BIG METAL SCARY HOLY GUARDIAN OF A TOWN AND HOT AND GUNNA KILL A MECH

[moonlit-orchid]

Star trek tos au where everything is the exact same except when Bones and Spock argue, it starts with Spock being a little shit to Bones and getting on Bones's last nerve just like in canon, except here Bones has enough and just TACKLES Spock, trying to strangle him, and the two are on the floor with Bones attempting to murder Spock and Spock immediately screaming bloody murder and yelling at Jim to save him and that the doctor is going to kill him and acting like the biggest victim ever (even though he instigated the whole thing by deliberately making a snide little comment) and he doesn't even try to save himself or fight back, he just screams for help, and Jim is just so tired and he just grabs a huge bottle of water and chucks it all over the two which makes separate at once. They're both sent to their rooms and forbidden from interacting.

This happens several times a week. Jim's genuinely considering renaming the Enterprise the Daycare.

[agave]

made this helpful graphic to explain sanji to my twitter followers and I think you guys deserve to see it

[bronzewool]

Imagining alien vampire bf coming from a sector of pure darkness and the human crew trying to navigate through space where there is no light or heat. It’s a brave new frontier. Nothing should be able to survive here and yet there are things on their radar, something scuttling on the hull. It’s both exciting for an explorer and fucking terrifying because whatever is out there doesn’t like them.

Vampire bf is cold to the touch, a wall of ice with clammy skin and blue lips. He looks like a corpse on ice and he yearns for blood, not just to keep his vital functions going, but because he’s oh so cold. He barely moves when hungry and falls into a deep sleep without blood that tiny human has to wake him from lest he falls back into a coma. What is a vampire doing in the coldest place in the cosmos if he needs heat to function? Who put him in the locked tomb? And why does the entire planet need so much protection to stop anyone from opening the iron coffin?

Vampire loves his human and their delicious hot blood, warming his insides and making him strong for short periods of time until his next meal. He clings to his human while he feeds, seeking as much skin on skin contact as possible. The blood rushes to his shriveled groin and fills with heat. He is aroused during their feeding sessions and needs more heat. He wants to sink into his warm human, like sinking into a nice hot bath, fucking him until they’re both burning hot with passion. He also likes when human fucks him, spilling his own release into his core.

Meanwhile, tiny human is not impressed when he’s just trying to sleep in his bunk, only to wake up in the fucking iron coffin this fucker kept for some reason! His companion coiled around him like a constricting snake and purring. Fuck off!

[nyan-bynary]

High key adult geto and gojo would probably freak each other out at least a little bit if they got to actually talk

[cacklefrendly]

if im a dog, what does that make you?

listen, it's not weird if it's a metaphor. that's how this works, right

[genocidalfetus]

Moronic Redditors Stop Cheapening Kerry and V's Relationship Challenge...failed.

[callixton]

sorry the thing abt s3 nate and eliot is that i just believe they’re fucking. & also they are SO gdamn weird abt each other but that’s incidental