#isn’t good. it makes it sour more. and also in some way is me hurting people more

[seventeencryinghorses-blog]

YOO what up!! You should def do some luffy x reader stuff. Safe for work plz I’d love angst or just some good hcs. I always wondering how he’d react when you like argue with him and you like flinch or back down and how it’d play out.

Thx pookie

Sorry for taking a bit, it's the weekday and I have school (I also stayed up watching videos on bloodborne lore on sunday). Anyway as apology I'll let you choose how this goes. Option'll be at the end.

Kindness Isn't Spineless.

Luffy x gn!reader angst. 1,088 words. Part 1.

“Again…” You look inside the fridge and sigh, the leftovers you had got eaten again. You know exactly who it was . This had been happening for a while now, the first time it happened you told yourself it was okay, the second you said it was okay again, the third you finally talked to Luffy to ask him to stop, this is now the 4th time. You don’t even know why you bother at this point. Closing the door to the fridge you leave the kitchen and see Luffy fishing with Usopp, seeing them talking happily makes you feel worse; like you’re the dumb one getting upset over some missing food while he’s unaffected. “Dammit…” You end up just leaving to go to your room, not wanting to sour their mood with your own unhappiness. After shutting the door behind you, you flop onto the bed and sigh. You keep telling yourself the same things you have before, it’s just food, Luffy is more important than some leftovers, no need to get upset over something so small… but it’s not making you feel any better. Not when something so simple as continuing to eat your leftovers shows so little respect. “Maybe.. Maybe I should try telling him again, maybe he’ll listen this time.” You mumble to yourself and get up, walking out of your room and going back to where Luffy and Usopp were fishing. “Luffy?”

“Mm?” He hums.

“Can we talk for a bit in my room?” You ask him and he’s silent for a moment before turning his head to look at you.

“Can you wait? I’m fishing right now.” Is his response, your heart sinks and you consider saying yes, but decide to steel your heart and refuse.

“No, the fish aren’t going to disappear. You can continue fishing after we’re done.” You manage to muster out. He sighs and gets up, following you to your room. Once you’re inside, closing the door, you confront him. “You ate my leftovers again.”

“Oh, yeah I did. Oops.” He says, way too casually for him to care.

“Luffy I told you it wasn’t nice to do that, I don’t want you eating my leftovers. Sanji already makes you a lot of food and those leftovers were ones I got from the last island we went to. I was really looking forward to them since it was a specialty there.” You explain.

“Yeah, they were really good.” He responds, and you frown. Luffy’s acting so uncaring about all of this, he isn’t even being stupidly happy about it. Usually when he’s caught eating something that wasn’t his he fights about it, trying to weasel his way out of getting scolded; but this is just straight up rude.

“Luffy…?” You call his name, not believing what you’re hearing.

“Yeah?” The captain yawns. “Can I go now?”

“Luffy, what's wrong with you? You’re acting weird.” This is stressing you out.

“You’re the one acting weird, it’s just food. You can just get something else, maybe ask Sanji to make you something.” His words make you scowl slightly, you’re trying to stay calm but he’s being so disrespectful it hurts. It hurts and it’s making you angry.

“Why are you being so rude, did I do something?”

“Hmm…” Luffy puts a hand to his chin. “Well I mean it doesn’t matter anyway.” You tilt your head in confusion. “Cuz you’re just gonna forgive me, even if I keep doing it. So there’s no point in being all sorry about it, yeah?” You stare at Luffy in shock, he can be selfish at times sure but not like this; and not to a crewmate, this isn’t mentioning that you too are lovers as well.

“Luffy you’re being really mean, don’t say that.” You say, your eyebrows furrowing into a pained expression. “You’re hurting me.” Black eyes look away, not even bothering to meet your gaze. “Look at me, Luf, don’t just look away. Please?” He doesn’t respond. “Luffy! Please don’t do this to me. I’m sorry for getting mad at you, don't just ignore me like this…”

“You’re so spineless.” He finally responds with a frown and your heart sinks. “I don’t like it, you’re not even trying. It’s kinda um…” Luffy looks for a word in his head before it pops into his mind. “You’re really pathetic!” A smile forms on his face.

“Luffy!” You yell

“It’s true though. I liked you because you never backed down for what you believed in, but now that we’re dating you don’t even do anything to me. It’s annoying seeing you so much of a coward where you back down at any argument with me. I don’t like it.” Once he’s done there’s silence for a bit, Luffy’s about to try and continue when you stop him.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” You apologize and he perks up, but you don’t end it there. “I should’ve known, you don’t like cowards or crybabies. I don’t blame you, so we don’t have to be together anymore.”

“Wait, you-” He’s interrupted.

“No Luffy, I get it. You’ve made it clear enough that you don’t like me.” You talk as you start to move him out of your room. He tries to reach for you when you go to shut the door on him but you flinch away like he’s lashing out. It shocks him to freeze, giving you the chance to shut the door and lock it.

The captain stares at the door, spaced out before he snaps out of it. ‘...I think I messed up.’ Luffy thinks to himself and knocks on the door, but you don’t answer. He continues this for a while and considers breaking the door down but the image of you flinching away from him like he’d do something as horrible as hitting you is shaking his resolve. ‘I don’t want to see them do that again.’ He frowns, unhappy. His plan was to make you mad enough that you would gain confidence and grow a spine, but this went wrong. He made a mistake, or maybe this is really just you? Luffy doesn’t know, he hasn’t been in a relationship before, but he wants to know; and he wants you to tell him. You did so well when you didn’t back down and told him to follow you to talk, even when he was fishing. He was so relieved he even sighed, but now it’s all messed up and he’s stuck outside this door wondering if breaking it down will make things worse.

_____

The options are if he breaks down the door or not and whether you want this to have a happy or bittersweet ending (asker only). You dont have to say if you dont want tonyou can also just tell me to continue if you dont want the choice.

[princessamericachavez]

There’s really not much to talk about after Chris brings up Shannon. Buck wants to say something more, to ease the kid’s pain, to reassure him that people who love him won’t always leave, but he’s still a little shaky on that department himself and doesn’t want to be hypocritical about it. So they deflect, change the subject, and a couple minutes later he lets Chris to his homework.

Eddie, of course, was listening. Buck knows. He almost expects to find him waiting by the door as he steps out of the room, but he’s not in the hallway, or in his room. Finally, he finds his best friend standing in the kitchen with a sour look and two unopened beers.

Buck opens one beer with another (a trick he’s used many times to impress dates) and settles for a bottle opener for the second one. Eddie accepts the drink and all but collapses on a seat by the kitchen island.

“He’s mad at her,” Eddie whispers into the bottle’s neck after two long gulps.

Buck tries desperately to find words of comfort but fails once more. His eyes fixate in his own hands instead. Waiting.

“I- I was so angry, too, but I thought maybe he could… I thought I could protect him from it.”

“You’ve done so much for him, for her,” Buck offers. “You’ve kept her memory alive.”

“It’s not enough.”

“It’s better than the alternative, trust me,” he says, thinking of the brother he only just started mourning. “Christopher loves his mom, and he knows she loved him. Even if… if the other stuff hurts, it was also part of her.”

“I don’t want him to judge her harshly.”

“Maybe you couldn’t help it.”

Eddie’s eyes snap towards him, pinning him with something defensive that could be mistaken for anger. But Buck doesn’t let himself flinch away.

“Eddie, Shannon was a person. A whole person. With her… mistakes, too. You can’t really love someone who is just a pretty picture. Chris can’t think his mom was just… just a perfect mom. She was more than that, the way you are more than a perfect dad.”

“In far from perfect,” Eddie scoffs, shaking his head.

“Not arguing with you there,” Buck huffs, teasingly, hoping to ease the tension. “But you’re a pretty damn good one, and you’re doing your best. And that’s what Chris knows, and that’s why he loves you.”

“Shannon was trying her best too.”

“I know. And… I think Chris knows it too. But he also gets to be a little angry about the not so perfect parts.”

Eddie puts the beer down. For an instant, like a flash, Buck is afraid of having pushed too far. Even with all the years and the trust between them, he will never truly shake the fear of one day crossing a line he can’t walk back and lose his best friend like everyone else in his life. But he has grown enough to not let that fear hold him back. Not with Eddie. Never with him.

“I’m kinda lost here, Buck. I feel like I screwed up somehow.”

“You didn’t.”

“How do I fix it.”

“You taught me that’s not always the answer, Eds.”

But Eddie looks at him with those big pleading eyes and, dammit, Buck wants to help him fix this too.

“Okay, so… if Chris was mad at you, what would you do?”

“Give him some time to cool off,” Eddie replies almost immediately. “Then try to talk to him, explain myself, see each other’s side of things.”

“Right,” Buck frowns. “Though I guess that’s…. Not a possibility with Shannon.”

“No,” Eddie rubs a hand over his face, “it’s not. Unless-“

His gesture freezes. He’s had an idea.

“Oh, Buck you’re a genius!”

“I am?”

“Yes! No. Yes… I- okay I think I have an idea. Maybe. I gotta think about it.”

Buck is eager to know the plan, but the way Eddie’s words are bouncing around it makes him feel like it’s a complicated topic. Or at least one his friend isn’t ready to voice yet.

“Well, I’m glad I could be of some help. Since my attempts at keeping Chris from turning into a little Buck 1.0 kinda failed,” he offers instead, as a change of topic.

It works. Eddie startles with a laugh that makes the kitchen feel five times lighter.

“You did alright, Buck. I really appreciate your help.”

And he means it. Buck can tell by the way their eyes meet, with an electric intensity, like they did before at the changing room. The ghost of Eddie’s hand on his shoulder lingers like static over his collarbone.

“Maybe you can ask Marisol to try next. You know, get some female wisdom in there.”

Buck doesn’t know why he says it, wants to kick himself in the teeth immediately, but then Eddie’s reaction fills him with relief. He looks appalled by the idea. Buck tries not to think too hard about why that reactions feels so good, tells himself not to let it go to his head.

“Oh, I don’t think so,” he laughs nervously. “I mean, she’s great! But I don’t think we are there yet.”

Yet. Yet, yet, yet. Not yet, but some day. Soon, probably. Buck has been quietly living with that dread for weeks now. Knowing his days of… this are counted. That some day, soon, Eddie will have someone else to rely on for this. That the day is approaching when Eddie will sit him down to talk about his will again, to let him know he’s changed it all over again. For a better choice. A more permanent one.

“Better not to rush into things this time,” Eddie keeps talking.

“Right. Yeah. Yeah… no rush,” Buck barely remembers to smile.

Eddie sighs, takes a sip. Buck mirrors him.

“So, anyway,” Eddie stretches on his chair, “you got time?”

Barely enough.

“Always.”

As much as he has left.

“Cool,” Eddie smiles, “because I do believe I promised Chinese in exchange for this.”

“Really, Eddie, it was no favor. You know I’m happy to help with Chris.”

“I know, I know,” he rolls his eyes, standing up. “Just bare with me, okay? Will make me feel less like a failure tonight.”

“You’re not a failure, Eddie. Don’t say that.”

Eddie pauses on his way out. Puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Buck. Seriously.”

The touch is almost as electric as lightning. Buck ducks his head, feeling his heart stop and restart all over again.

“Anytime, Eddie. Now, about that Chinese…”

“Right, Chinese,” Eddie perks up. “Your usual?”

[scekrex]

Reader tries to break up with Adam but Adam isn’t having it.

"i told you, we're done."

"you sent me a text, you asshole. you didn't tell me anything."

Ah a lil angst eh? Got you, got you

I'ma end up back in rehab just for fuckin' with you

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, hurt/no comfort

note: beta read by @drxgonspine

Your doorbell rang and while your friends dropped by without announcing themselves every now and then, the timing was quite unusual. You had just grabbed your jacket and were about to grab your wallet and keys- you were supposed to meet them at a local bar, none of them had said anything about picking you up. Yet you walked over to the front door of your apartment and opened it, secretly expecting one of the dudes to be there.

And well there was a dude but surely not one you liked to see. The surprise was rather unpleasant to phrase it in a somewhat friendly sounding way. Your facial expression soured at the sight of Adam and you crossed your arms over your chest, making it clear that his timing was just as shitty as the fact that he had the guts to show up at your place at all. At the same time your wings puffed up in defense, causing you to appear a little taller than you were - your body language let him know that he wasn’t welcome at all. “What?” you grumbled. You hoped for his very own sake that he had a good reason to show his face to you after you had dumped his ass.

Adam however was clearly unbothered by your reaction, he simply shoved you aside a little and entered your apartment as he seemingly happy responded, “Visiting my boyfriend on a fucking Saturday evening.” His what now? You had been his boyfriend for quite some time, that was correct, but you weren’t, not anymore. You watched as he headed over to the living room as if he owned the place.

The anger inside of you kept boiling and before Adam was able to flop down onto your couch you grabbed his arm and pulled him away from it, “I’m not your fucking boyfriend,” you hissed at him angrily. He really had the audacity to show up at your place again, invite himself in and still call you his boyfriend. You wanted to raise your fist and punch his smug looking face as hard as possible, preferably breaking his nose in the process. But violence would get you nowhere and you knew that so you tried your best to remain from physically fighting him - maybe the knowledge that you would most likely lose the fight played a somewhat big part in that decision of yours.

Because while Adam would deserve a punch in the face, you wanted to go out with your dudes and you were aware that if you were to pick a fight with Adam - a physical one, to be more specific - you would probably end up in the hospital and that you’d rather avoid.

“Yes you are,” the brunette grinned down at you as he took a step towards you, closing the gap between the two of you as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You were quick to not only shove his hands off your body but also to to take a big step back - away from Adam, that was all you wanted. The first man shot you a confused look at your reaction to his touch. “I told you we’re done,” you explained. Your eyes looked to the front door, then back at Adam, silently signaling him to leave your apartment as quickly as possible.

That however seemed to not sit entirely right with Adam because now it was his expression that soured at your words, “You didn’t tell me shit.” His voice grew louder, he was not only visibly but also audibly angry. His eyes on the other hand - oh his golden eyes which you had loved and adored so much - told you it wasn’t anger or hatred speaking, it was hurt. Adam was emotionally wounded by your actions and tried to cover the pain with anger and loud words. “You sent me a fucking text, and not even a fucking long one either,” now the pain became visible in his voice and you simply knew you were done for. Going out with the boys would not happen, not that night, once again because of Adam.

That was exactly the reason why you had ended your relationship with him through a text, because you couldn’t stand the hurt on his face, the pain in his voice and the expression on his face. You couldn’t stand to see him in pain because you still loved him and deep down you also cared for him. “Out,” you mumbled, eyes focused on the floor of your living room. You needed him gone, if he were to stay any longer you would back down again and take him back. And it still wouldn’t work out between the both of you.

You’d end up destroying yourself again and that you desperately wanted to avoid at all cost. Adam didn’t leave though, instead he invaded your personal space without consent - again. His soft feathered wings wrapped around you in a cheap attempt to calm you down and damn you and your messed up mind, you really did find comfort in the feeling of his wings wrapped around your body. For a short moment you embraced the feeling, the memories and the love that seemed to spark between you and Adam, but then you tore away from the comfortable warmth.

“Get the fuck out. Right now.”

[heavencasteel420]

Okay. I’m gonna be a hater.

I’m not against St4ncy because of the association between their first time and Barb dying. If they were good together and she really wanted to be with him, then I wouldn’t be rooting for her survivor’s guilt to keep that from happening.

I’m also not against St4ncy because of the S1 graffiti, per se. From a writing perspective, I think the show over-egged the pudding by making both Jonathan and Steve do such shitty things to Nancy in S1. I believe the creators were mainly trying to make certain things happen plot-wise (there needs to be a photo of the demogorgon, the teen confrontation needs to be immediate and public so Jonathan and Nancy can end up at the police station) and trying to foreshadow Steve’s heel-face turn by making his objections to the photos more reasonable, and they did a clumsy job of it. And I think it’s basically fine for the creators, having realized that this was all too much, to quietly drop it. Such is the nature of multi-season TV. Realistically, it’s wild that Steve and Nancy would get back together a mere month after all of that, but, unless a shipper actually says stuff like “it’s not that bad that he would do that, because he was understandably upset” or “it was just vandalism,” I’m not going to assume that they’re chill with the graffiti.

That being said, the whole “Steve’s feelings were hurt because he thought he was being cheated on and he’s young and it was all Tommy’s fault anyway and he apologized” vs. “Jonathan had no motivations other than intrinsic badness and his youth is not a factor and his apology doesn’t count and his terrible home life is not only not an excuse but a justification for Steve’s tenuously connected shitty actions” thing has soured me on large swathes of Steve fans across the board. I’ve seen too much of the so-called real-life justice system to find this attitude anything other than disturbing. But this isn’t exclusively a St4ncy shipper problem. If anything, they at least usually like Nancy enough not to act like she’s somehow at fault for the photos because she forgave Jonathan later (???) or put her “cheating” on Steve on the same level as the guys’ worst S1 behavior.

My main reasons for disliking the ship (in an exclusive endgame kind of way; I’m cool with Stoncy most of the time and I think they canonically had some good times together) are way more subjective. The first reason is that Jonathan is my favorite and St4ncy shippers invariably don’t like or get him. This is predictable, although not inevitable; Jancy shippers don’t dislike Steve so uniformly, for example. So obviously that’s not gonna work out.

The second reason is that I just don’t find the things people like about their relationship very romantic or desirable. He’s protective of her, but that mainly seems to involve trying to keep her from doing things she believes she has to do or retaliating against others in ways she finds distasteful. There’s not a lot of awareness of her perspective. He wants to be with her “no matter what,” with no consideration for the obstacles, but those obstacles seem to include “what she wants” and “what they are both like as people.” I’d get it more if he was like “I don’t know what the future will bring, but I’d like to give this a chance in the short term” or “listen, I can figure out what to do with my life in Boston as well as anywhere else,” but instead he just does not seem to know her at all or be thinking about what they would do as a couple in the immediate future. After a point, that’s just being in love with the idea of being in love.

Also—and I am not trying to be catty here—I think it’s kind of silly to compare his romantic dreams with Jonathan having reservations due to trauma, poverty, and family obligations. That’s not so much a testament to Steve loving her more as it is an indication that he is relatively unburdened by material concerns. He may be broke, but he’s not dealing with entrenched multi-generational poverty. I’m not saying these things to suggest that Nancy would be wrong to break up with Jonathan—sometimes love isn’t enough—or that Steve is less deserving of love because his life is easier, but I am saying that Steve was kinda born on third base here.

I am not convinced that Steve would do “anything” for Nancy! Nor do I think that he should! That is not a good or sexy dynamic in an equal romantic partnership to me! They should both have other principles and goals of their own! (Also. Is the guy who wouldn’t revise his college essay in S2 really gonna move to Boston for her? I think he’s changed, sure, but not in that particular way.)

[ironunderstands]

Hii! I was in the middle of drawing your OCs Psyche n Eros when I realized I wanted to know if you have a concrete design idea for her (also if you had a specific hairstyle in mind for her n psyche cause so far I’ve winged it), I’d love to know your design ideas for these two so I can bring them to life better!!

Omgogmgogmgmogmgm

first off thank you so much, second off I do actually have a specific hair style for Psyche: a high ponytail and for Eros.. well honestly I don’t know yet really but she is a beautiful enough woman to name an entire planet after so she’d probably look something like this

Also I have been cooking up their lore a bit more so ITS YAP TIME 😈

First off, Psyche was made by Yaoshi on a random barren, dead planet with the only thing going for it being some water and existing within the habitable zone for its star to basically attempt to populate the planet herself with all various forms of life (also the planet is huge) because Yaoshi can’t be everywhere at once so they decided to make a few beings to do their job for them, and Psyche so happens to be one of them.

Fortunately, seeing as she’s the first one Yaoshi made, she’s also an emanator, and is fluent in creating and controlling all aspects of life- including people’s emotions

However Yaoshi isn’t exactly an amazing parent so they kinda just left Psyche there to do whatever the hell she wants and so she does, making herself a friend- Eros

Now unlike Psyche, Eros isn’t an emanator but she is immortal (in the “if nothing kills me I’ll live forever” flavor of immortality) and is fairly durable, also possessing some innate healing abilities both for herself and others

Together they begin to fill the planet with life until it’s as biodiverse as ever, and by then several centuries have passed past. Psyche and Eros are living happily together on this world, when disaster strikes- a stellaron crisis.

Most of the life on the planet is destroyed- including Eros (psst: she’s not actually dead but Psyche doesn’t know that) and Psyche is DISTRAUGHT and entirely alone again.

Unwilling to just forget, Psyche names the planet after her fallen lover, and builds a magnificent statue in her honor after sealing the stellaron away for good.

She knows nobody could replace Eros in her life again but doesn’t want to be lonely, so she makes the first humans on her homeworld, and ritually comes in to aid them every now and again, which results in them viewing her as their creator/god.

Caring for them in the way a mother would, she sets up some temples for them to worship her in, as well as indulge in her selfish desire to fix her ever broken heart- by helping her dear humans find love instead.

However, over time as their population grows more zealous and their technology advances, her people’s requests grow more and more selfish until Psyche finally realizes she’s been fulfilling wishes that have been hurting people- her own children.

Heart completely shattered, she locked herself away in her biggest temple, forbidden anyone from entering, never to exist herself again.

Well… until a certain doctor and gambler come along.

If you’d like to read this Aventio fic go ahead, although Psyche herself only appears in the first and last chapter (she still carries regardless).

Although she succeeds in preventing the IPC (whose presence had been ever growing on her planet with her absence) from stealing her power and harming her people, Psyche’s little matchmaking session makes her realize she’s been missing the outside world quite a bit, so she attempts to try and learn what’s happened while she locked herself away, and guess who she sees hanging with the astral express in some one off news article..

Oh Psyche, good luck babe.

Because Eros thinks you abandoned her and left her to die, and now you gotta prove yourself (Greek myth style hehe) to get her back

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Venus enters Gemini

Thursday, May 23 - Monday, June 17, 2024

This is a pleasant, sociable transit; Venus is chatty and flirtatious. Then you remember that Venus is the esoteric ruler of Gemini and realize there’s more going on here than batting our eyelashes.

As Ruth Hadikin wrote here:

At Soul level Gemini is ruled by Venus. Once the activity of Mercury has expanded our perception, we are open to the activity of Venus through the heart center. This brings a spiritual awakening in the form of a deep sense of communion and connectedness with all sentient beings. There is an awareness of Love, not as an idea, but as a living energy which permeates and radiates throughout all life. This shift in perception brings us to the realization of our interrelatedness with one another and all living things.

Sounds like a plan to me (playing “Higher Love” by Steve Winwood on a loop). As for Venus’ areas:

Art - the spoken and printed word, of course. And singing. With Gemini’s rulership of the hands, we appreciate deft touches and cleverness. We especially like it where there is more than one “meaning.”

Beauty - youthful, unstudied, not a lot of makeup usually. We’re spending too much time in our own heads to care much about current fashion.

Love - say the word.

Money - some Geminis can be downright misers. There’s not a lot of planning for the future. We’re more apt to fritter away our money on lots and lots of little items that grab our attention - and add up. Stay out of the bookstore!

This isn’t even one month - alas - so have some fun with it, and don’t take life overly seriously. Talk and listen. Each of the following could be in effect for a day before and a day after:

Saturday, May 25 - Venus/Gemini trine Pluto Rx/Aquarius, 1°59’. Powerful stuff - maybe just between our ears? (It’s an air sign trine.) Underneath all the flirtatious banter lies something more profound.

Saturday, June 1 - Venus/Gemini square Juno/Virgo, 10°40’. It’s like we don’t feel like committing, rather than something our partner does. And covering that with a lot of criticism and nagging.

Sunday, June 2 - Venus/Gemini sextile North Node/Aries, trine South Node/Libra, 12°43’. Got to watch out for “going along to get along” - if we’re paying attention, we can clue in about how/where we do that.

Tuesday, June 4 - Venus/Gemini conjunct Sun/Gemini, 14°29’. This of course is a pleasant, sunny vibe - but it’s also the Superior Conjunction between Venus and the Sun, the halfway point of their cycle.

Saturday, June 8 - Venus/Gemini square Saturn/Pisces, 19°02’. Can be lonely. We’re being asked to make Venus a bit more mature in her approach, and if we fail to do so (or fail to at least try) we find ourselves hurting worse, and probably doing all kinds of shady, sketchy Geminian mental contortions to justify our failure.

Tuesday, June 11 - Venus/Gemini sextile Chiron/Aries, 22°40’. Good time to apologize. Relationships require communication, which this sextile assists, if we make the effort.

Thursday, June 13 - Venus/Gemini sextile Eris/Aries, 25°22’. Activists can express themselves verbally - and in such a way that we want to hear what they have to say. Like Errol Flynn cracking wise whilst sword fighting with Basil Rathbone.

Sunday, June 16 - Venus/Gemini square Neptune/Pisces, 29°52’. Disillusionment. Sour grapes. Drowning in self-pity. Realizing that love is an emotion, not a theory. There will be a lot of distractions, most of them self-imposed.

[theladybarnes]

DON’T YOU WANT ME, BABY? : CHAPTER FOUR

“Mistakes have been made.”

▸ summary: a happy reunion happens, but boy drama ruins it all ▸ characters: steve harrington, billy hargrove, max mayfield, & the party ▸ word count: 4.8k     ▸ warnings: angst, toxic exes, and general billy behavior ▸ series masterlist

The clock in Ms. Kelley’s office ticked loudly in the empty room, making you slightly more irritated as you continued to wait out for your counselor. 

 It was only a minute back to your group at gym class that Coach Duffer sent you to leave class early and go into the main office of the school. Something you didn’t think over until you were coming through the threshold with wet hair that soaked the top of your blouse. Could they not have given you at least a second to towel dry your hair?

 “Alright, Miss Henderson.” Ms. Kelley chimed as she entered the room. “While I’m always happy to see you, I’m afraid I’m a bit unsettled by today’s visit.” 

 “You and me both, Ms. Kelley. Which is why I think we should reconvene on better circumstances and call it a day!” you clapped, going as far as to pick up your bag from the floor. The cheery tone only caused her to raise a brow as she settled into her seat across from you. 

 “Miss Henderson, it’s clear to me that today was quite the off day for you. Did something happen before school? Are you feeling alright?”

 There was no good answer that you could give to the poor counselor. Was it the weird sex dream? The hangover? The boys who lie? How do you give her the gist of all that and come off as sane?

 Bringing your hand up, you rub gently at your chin. Normally in court, you would plead a case and go through a million questions before allowing the jury to come to a conclusion. But with Ms. Kelley playing judge, jury, and executioner, you had to go about this differently.

 “Guilty,” you sighed. “I’m not feeling well. And my severe actions deserve their proper consequences.” Leaning forward, you tilt your head towards the women, giving your best sorry face you could muster. “I’ll take whatever punishment you see fit.”

 The thought up answer didn’t seem to satisfy Ms.Kelley. In fact, it made her frown harder as she jotted down a few things on her notepad. “Ms. Henderson, you flipped off a teacher, yelled at two students, and hurt one with a basketball. You mean to tell me that you want to play all that off from not feeling well?”

 Sensing that there was a need for a small bit of honesty, you let out one piece of information that could hopefully close this case. “Well, that and some of the boys are spreading lies about the tellings of my personal sex life.” 

 Her jaw slacked a bit, pen falling to the side before she scrambled to pick it back up in her hand. “That is a serious accusation, Ms. Henderson. Are you sure that’s the reason?” 

 “Well, it’s definitely the main one.”

 A sour sort of look spread over her face and she looked between you and her notepad for a second before she tore off the paper and threw it in the trash can beside her. “I need you to apologize to Coach Duffer for the unsavory hand sign you gave him, and clean up the gym after practice today for Coach Troy for disrupting his class.”

 To say you were shocked was understatement, but you certainly don't question it as you stood up from your seat. Holding onto your bag tightly to leave before she changed her mind. “Sounds like a reasonable punishment, Ms. Kelley.” 

 “I also want to let you know you’re free to come talk to me if anyone else starts spreading more misinformation, okay?”

 “You got it, Ms. K!”

 You made your way over to the door, giving the woman a thankful wave as she called out one more request to you. 

 “And please don’t attack any more boys!”

  While Ms. Kelley had given you a break today, most of the day seemed to go on longer than you expected. During lunch you had a hard time finding Jonathan, needing to be with someone who isn't currently judging you. But that ended up being a bust. Then when it came around time for you to clean up the gym, Coach Troy seemed to purposely drag out practice. 

 Though you spent a good chunk of the day avoiding conversing with others, you couldn’t help but feel bad as you finished cleaning up. Most of the other students were a bit wary of you. Possibly worried they’d be the next target in your yelling spree. Although not everyone seemed to get the hint. Considering you did see Steve by your locker earlier that day. And while you’d like to maybe talk things over with him, it was best not to add fuel to that fire. 

 It was nearing the evening when you finally left the gym. The winter sky had turned dark blue due to the time change. Since Jonathan seemed to disappear from school grounds today, you were stuck taking the long way home. Something you’d definitely be complaining to him on the phone tonight.

 Just as you get on your bike and down the long driveway of the school, you’re about to pass the middle school’s joint hill when you first notice them. Or mostly notice her. The group you now know as your cousin’s “party” were all crowded together on the front steps. Each of them looked worried while the young girl looked confused. 

 “Maximilian! As I live and breathe!” 

 The boys all look over at you with a curious look before the redhead lets out a chuckled sort of gasp. “No way!” She said, rushing down the steps. “You’re here too?”

 Her body colliding with yours nearly took you off your bike, making you giggle as you wrapped your arms around her figure. It’s been quite a while since you’ve seen the young girl and you’re happy seeing her in different circumstances. 

 “Is this where you went to?!” Max exclaimed, moving to look you over. “You still look the same.”

 “Well moving would never stop me from looking good.”

 Giving her a once over, you smile at the sight of her slightly Tom boyish style seeping through in fall clothing. She was always more bright and sunny back in California. You wonder if she’s struggling with the cold as much as you did.

 “How the hell do you guys know each other?” Dustin blurted, stepping down the steps to join at your side. “And why are you at the school so late?”

 Frowning you point a finger at him sternly. “I’m here because it’s none of your business and I know her because she's from back home.” 

 “She used to date my step-brother before she dumped him.” 

 “You have a brother?” Mike asked, a familiar look of displeasure on his face as he crossed his arms. 

 “Step-brother.” you both corrected him. 

 Turning back to the others you can’t help but feel their tension. “Are you guys hanging out together?” Peeking, you notice someone missing. “Why are you guys here so late? Where’s Will?”

 Max scrunched her nose, pushing a fiery lock behind her ear. “I’m not hanging out with these guys. They were stalking me. And Will just—“ 

 She’s cut off with a harsh nudge from Dustin. The slight push caused her to bump into you, making you nearly trip off your bike. “Geez!” she whispered, looking over at him with wide eyes. You can’t help but notice that they’re keeping something from you.

 “Hmph,” you hummed, looking over at the group. “You guys are acting weirder than usual.” 

 Lucas stepped up with a sorry sort of smile on his face. “Uh we’re not, just worried about Will. His Mom had to come pick him up because he went into another weird episode.” The rest of the boys turned back into a slightly worried expression.

Jonathan had told you before how Will would become spacey sometimes, but lately it seemed like things were going backwards in his development. 

 Nodding your head, you place a hand down on Max’s shoulder, giving her a small smile. “He’s going through things. He'll be better in no time.” It wasn’t easy to lie to her, but considering you didn’t want to involve someone else in the mess from last year, you’d have to tough it out to protect her.

 “Considering we’re not clouded by smoke from Billy, I’m guessing you’re gonna take your board home.” 

 Max peered over your shoulder to see across where the parking lot was. “Asshole.” she muttered before looking back at you. “I guess I am.”

 Turning to the boys who were trying to huddle together, you pointed over to the bike rack. “Let’s get going! We’ll all ride together.” They all groaned a bit, hating the break up of their little get together. “Nuh uh, I won’t have any of that bitching, twerps. It’s gonna get dark and we don't need to be here a minute longer.” 

 Max ran back inside to quickly grab her backpack from her locker, leaving you alone with the boys for a second to quickly discuss what you couldn’t before. 

 “So, do you guys think Will is okay? I thought he was getting treatments or something down at the Lab?”

 “We have no clue.” Mike sighed, adjusting his footing on the bike pedal. “He was off on Halloween and today he totally seized out on us. I wish we just had some clear answer.” The other two boys nodded, looking back at the school door to spot out for Max. 

 “And what about Max?” you asked, catching their gazes again. “What is she doing in the mix of all this?”

 “Geez, you sound like you don’t want us to hang out with her.” Dustin scoffed, gripping onto his bike handle tightly. 

 “As much as I’d love for her to have friends she can punk around like you guys, I’m worried she might get involved in something that’s too big for her. Like you guys already are.”

 Mike frowned a bit at that. “She’s not a part of the party. Don’t worry.”

 There’s a slight disdain in Mike’s tone. Which you’re pretty familiar with, but it felt slightly unwarranted since he’s most likely known Max for less than a week. “Okay, noted.” you chuckled, making him shrug his shoulders.

 The heavy door creaked loudly as Max pushed her way out. Bright hair blowing in the wind as she placed the board down on the ground. “Alright, you guys okay?” she panted, noticing the change in the group’s demeanor. The boys gave you a glance before you smiled over at Max. 

 “Yup! Let’s get going!” You called out, turning your bike to lead the way. It was just in time to miss the look of suspicion from her blue eyes.

  To your surprise, when you finally got home with Dustin, Tina had been waiting on the phone. Wanting to hear the details of what happened after you left the gym class. Mostly because the rumor mill must have had some missing details.

 Your vague answers did little to satisfy her, but she was willing enough to share the news of Billy having come over to them at lunch. Claiming he wanted to spend some time with Vicki that day. It would seem he was finally over you and therefore making Tina accept you back into her inner circle for now.

 The phone call left you with a sort of sick feeling.

 After a few attempts of trying to call Jonathan, you gave up for the night. Eating dinner quickly to get into bed early that night. All you could hope for was tomorrow being a better day without any trouble.

  “Did you hear about your little weirdo and Nancy Wheeler?”

 You had barely been able to get your book out of the locker when Tina and Vicki came into your line of vision. “No, can’t say I know what you’re talking about.” The brunette raised a brow, leaning against the metal door with a slight smirk.

 “Some say they ditched early the other day. Left around lunch.”

 “Others say they ran away together because they’re secretly in love!” Vicki giggled.

 You stole a glance over to the locker beside you. Usually you managed to avoid the girl when getting your books, but now and then you’d see her there. But now that you’ve thought about it, it’s been three periods and you haven’t even seen her or Jonathan yet.

 “I doubt that’s what’s going on.”

 “Enlighten us, babydoll.” said a deep, agitating, grating voice. 

 The metal locker door creaked as he slowly shut it to reveal Billy’s face. The toothy grin plastered on his face as he annoyingly chewed gum loudly. “The girls and I have been trying to figure it out since first period.” 

 The other two giggled a bit, even going as far to twirling a piece of their hair as they nodded eagerly. Unfortunately, with the lack of contact from either person, you couldn’t give any of them the truth.

 “They’re friends. Probably skipped the day to go hang out.” you shrugged, trying to play it off coolly. “Is that suddenly a crime?” 

 The two girls seemed slightly to agree before Billy scooted in closer, placing his arm across your shoulder as he leaned in to you. “We both know that Wheeler recently dumped Harrington too. You mean to tell me she’s not trying to rebound onto this Jonathan guy?”

 Did Nancy break up with Steve? Was the reason why he had been crying at the party? Had it been yesterday when she went into the gym after you left? 

 Something in your face must have given off the confusion because suddenly the two girls are giggling at you. Playfully pushing at your shoulder. “It seems not even Byers’ only friend would know what the hell is going on.” Vicki said, making Tina smirk slightly in amusement. 

 “Poor thing.” Billy cooed. “I should help her catch up. We’ll see you guys at lunch.” he winked, waving them off with his free hand. You silently pleaded with your eyes, even shaking your head a bit to get them to stay. But the two giggled at Billy, ignoring your pleas as they waved goodbye to the two of you. Billy finally released you from his grip, allowing you to take a small step back. He remained cocky as he slid to lean against the locker.

 “What is your damage, Billy? Since when do you care about gossip?”

 “I care when it involves our friends.”

 “God, they are not your friends.” you spat, rolling your eyes. “They’re like your obsessed followers.” 

 The comment made him chuckle, rubbing his hands together in front of him as he gave off a meek shrug. “What can I say? They adore me here. Not like they have anyone else to look up to considering Harrington is nothing but a loser these days.”

 Something didn’t sit right with you to hear Billy talk about Steve that way. He didn’t know why he had fallen out with his friends. And while he wasn’t sitting with the same group of people, there were some who still held him in high regard. So why did Billy’s words bother you so much?

 “So,  if the competition is low, why bother with checking out rumors that don’t mean squat to you?”

 “Well for one, competition is still competition. And two,” Billy leaned in, a dark cast over his light eyes as he pointed a finger at you. “because it matters to you.”

 You frowned down at his finger. “It doesn’t matter to me. I hate the guy. Anyone will tell you that.”

 “And yet he likes you.”

 There was no way in hell Billy did not hit his head on the way into Indiana. Because at this point in time, even a child could tell that Steve Harrington only had eyes for Nancy Wheeler. Shaking your head, you look at Billy skeptically. “You’ve been here less than a week and think that?” you laughed, turning to go towards your next class. “I think you need a new informant because he is definitely not into me.”

 “I have eyes, no need for clarification.” he sighed. “I’ve also been told by Tommy that you like him too. Since you came into town.”

 Your sneakers squeak against the floor as you quickly turn to face Billy. Eyes glaring hard on him. “Tommy Hagan was practically trying to get real estate up Steve Harrington’s ass last year and you want to believe one of his deranged rumors?”

 “He says you were practically all over him despite his attempts to get with Nancy.”

 Laughing loudly, you shake your head at the boy. “I hung out with Tommy and his scheming girlfriend for one week and they came up with that shit?” Billy only stared at you with his calculating eyes, trying to pick out the lie in your words like he usually did with others. But you know him well enough now to cover up what you didn’t need for him to know.

 “The three of them were assholes and I was done with all their bullshit by the weekend. When they figured I wasn’t going to hang out with them anymore, they decided to campaign against me.” 

 “Because you’re so worth lying about?” Billy asked, cocking his head to the side.

 “What can I say, Billy? People tend to act a certain way when it comes to me.” 

 Your words seem to work because Billy chuckled lightly, nodding his head a bit before he extended a hand towards the direction you were going before. “Just thought I’d ask about it. I’m only looking out, babydoll.” The nickname made you cringe lightly. 

 “Well I don’t need you to look out for me.”

 “Oh I know,” he smirked, waving you off. Not waiting for your leave, he turned to walk down the opposite direction. But not without giving you what felt like a warning.

 “I’m looking out for me.”

  As of this week, the school day left you falling into a funk. Not only were most of your friends icing you out because of Billy, but Jonathan really did skip out on the day. Leaving your lunch plans practically dead. 

 It wasn’t until you were inside the cafeteria, holding a plastic food tray tightly in your hands that you suddenly felt ill. 

 Never in all your high school life had you been such an outcast. You had so many friends back home. But as of right now, the idea of being friends with anyone felt like a risk. Were they going to leave you too? Was there anyone you could trust anymore?

 Not one for letting your real emotions show, you cock your head up, ignoring some of the leering eyes of the student body as you made your way to one of the center tables that had been abandoned. You’d eat quickly, but confidently. With no signs of discomfort on your face. That way no one could get the satisfaction of thinking they made you feel bad.

 You pulled out a magazine from your bag, placing it down in front of you so that you could keep your attention focused on something other than the students around you. But just as you had begun to eat into the school’s overheated pizza slice, another person slid on the seat across from you.

 “We need to talk.”

 You kept your eyes down on the page rereading the same paragraph of the quiz ‘who your celeb soulmate is’ as you ignored the boy across from you. “Don’t really see what we have to talk about.” you mused, turning the page for results. 

 “Would the fact that everyone keeps talking about us not be good enough reason?” 

 “Nope.” You drawed out, frowning down at the paper. “Damn, I got Tom Cruise. I wanted Michael J. Fox.”

 The magazine is snatched from your line of vision. Making you snap your head up to finally look at your unwanted guest. “Give that back, Steve! I have to find out if Tom Cruise likes what I do!” 

 Steve folded the paper over, giving you an exasperated look before leaning in close. “You can figure all that out later. We gotta get these rumors under control.” 

 Blowing air through your nose, you keep your composure under control as you begin to pick at your lunch. Eating bits of the pizza with your fork. “Us sitting together is just gonna make things worse.” 

 “That’s what I’m talking about! We should be able to do things like sit next to each other without it meaning anything.” 

 Leaning back against your chair, you raise a brow at Steve. “Well, get Nancy to help clear some of the air. She’s a part of this as much as we are.” 

 His face fell at the mention of the girl. Suddenly emotional, he reached over to your lunch, ripping a chunk of pizza off as he chewed on it harshly. “We can’t go to Nancy right now.” 

 Glaring at the now torn off piece, you try and move past his sudden indulging of your lunch. “Well no, I know she’s not here today. But tomorrow..”

 “No, we can’t go to Nancy right now because..she and I are fighting.” 

 “Okay, so make up with her.”

 “It’s not that easy, trouble.” 

 Something was telling you that you’d regret going on with this conversation but your curiosity had a better hold on you than you thought. “Well why the hell not? You guys are practically making out in the hallway these days. Just bring her flowers and make up already.” 

 Steve, having grown more annoyed, leaned towards the table, brows furrowed as he spoke softly. “I can’t just make up with her because she thinks we killed Barb.” 

 Pushing your tray aside, you move to lean close to him. Not wanting to risk anyone hearing the conversation now. “What the hell do you mean? Is this why you were crying the other night?!” you hissed. 

 “I was not crying…but yes. Among other things.”

 “Like what?”

 He looked hesitant at first before he dived into a brief explanation of the night. And you were unfortunately correct on them being off from the start. But you really didn’t expect the last part. “..Apparently, we were never in love, I’m bullshit, and now she’s run off with Jonathan out of town.”

“Shit.” you said, reeling back a bit. The two of you have a bit of a stare down as you try to think of how exactly you were supposed to reply to that. While you had your own problems with Steve. 

 What Nancy was blaming him for was unfair. No one could have figured that Barb would be taken by a demogorgon that night. It was just a party, where stupid teens were supposed to make stupid decisions. How could the blame be on either of them for something that wasn’t even a part of this world?

 “I’m sorry,” reaching out, you placed your hand gingerly on top of his. Feeling the warmth from his palms as his fingers twitched from the contact. “It’s not your fault..I hope you know that.”

 Steve’s lips parted slightly, words being suddenly taken from him as his gaze moved between your hand and your face. Turning the hand over, he gently allowed your fingers to slip into his. Only for a second before he gave a squeeze. “Thanks.”

 Figures that the one time you’re actually having something of a nice moment with Steve it has to do with you comforting him about Nancy. But a small selfish part of you is lingering onto the way his touch feels to you right now. 

 “I know I’m probably the last person you think would suggest this. But maybe we can find a way to figure out where Nancy and Jonathan are. Help figure out what mess they’ve gotten into-”

 “You know Harrington. When I mentioned leaving behind some girls for you, I wouldn’t have expected you go after my girl of all people.” The chair beside you screeches loudly as Billy plops down beside you. The strong scent of his Aramis making you nearly gag as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. Steve is quick to drop your hand as he leaned back in his chair, glaring over at Billy.

 “Okay, first off. I am not your girl. Second, what the hell are you on about, Billy?” Pushing his arm off, you turn a bit to face him. Though his tone was playful, you couldn’t help but notice the familiar look of fire behind his eyes. He was upset.

 “Lover boy here is obviously having some relationship problems as we’ve discussed.”

Steve’s brown eyes snapped to you, giving you a questioning look as Billy went on. “I thought I gave him some humbling advice but he clearly ran off with it.” 

 “God, do you ever stop talking?” Steve muttered in disbelief. 

 “No, he lacks the capacity to have any sort of tact.” 

 “Others would say I'm just brutally honest.” Billy interjected, attempting to make a point. But all you and Steve did was scoff in reply. 

 Scooting your chair away from his side, you turned to face him better. Not needing to be plagued by his close scent anymore. “What asinine advice did you give Steve?”

 “Easy, I told him there was plenty of girls–”

 “Not the word I remember hearing.”

 Billy blinked hard, nose flaring before he went on. “That he should move on and find some other bitch to help him forget Wheeler.” The harsh words made your face twist uncomfortably. “And like I mentioned before, I didn’t think he’d do that with you of all people.”

 You couldn’t help but recall the conversation you had with Billy earlier in the hall. His comments about Steve possibly liking you felt so out of pocket. Even now, right before he had come in and invaded your conversation. All you and Steve were doing was talking about how upset he was because of Nancy.

 “Who she talks to is none of your business.” Steve said suddenly. “From what she’s told me, she dumped you last year, leaving you a mess back in California.” 

 “Oh is that what she said?” Billy asked, followed with a dark chuckle that you knew was being led to a worse reaction. “What else do you suddenly know about her?”

 “I know she’s obviously grossed out by you and yet all you’ve done since you’ve gotten here is invade her space, man. It’s like you aren’t getting the hint.” Steve countered, almost leaning across the whole table with how close he got.

 “Really! You of all people are able to grasp hints all of a sudden!”

 “Believe me, I’m not the only one seeing the signs. She’s practically crawling away from you every time you’re by her.”

 “And just how many times are you watching whenever I talk with her? She’s my girlfriend!”

 “She’s not!”

 “ENOUGH!” you yelled, suddenly pushing your chair back. The cafeteria deafens as the students around you notice the drama that's at your table. “I’ve about had it with you two!” 

 Both boys’ jaws dropped as they noticed your sudden anger. It wouldn’t be the first time that either one of them has dealt with your fury and from the way they act it certainly wouldn’t be the last. And while you hated the idea of having an audience, you could not hold back anymore.

 “For the last and final time, Billy. I am NOT your girlfriend. You’re an egotistical man-whore who needs a god damn reality check! Leave me the hell alone!” The blonde nearly paled through his tan complexion as his eyes flickered to those around him. 

 Your gaze turned to Steve, making him nearly jump in his seat as his face almost mirrored the same look from last year when you gave him a piece of your mind. And while the anger wanted to come out, a part of you held back. “We’re not friends.” The words felt heavy when you saw Steve’s face fall. “I don’t need you to defend me and I definitely don’t need you to speak for me.”

 Turning the students around you, you cock your chin out, letting out a calm breath before speaking again. “Shows over, assholes!” And with that the other students quickly diverted their attention back to their meals, not willing to be the next target in your tirade. 

 Grabbing your bag from the table, you quickly gather your tray, and push in your chair. Steve defeatedly holds up the magazine to you, making you swallow at the sight before you snatched it from his hands. 

 The stress of dealing with petty high school drama was beginning to get the best of you. And for the second time in your life, you’re walking away from telling off Steve Harrington. And like last time, it’s left you questioning just how you really felt about him.

a/n: pls be kind. this chapter was such a struggle for me 🥹 

[kirk-says-wah]

Hi, may I have a request.

Past relationship James/Cliff

James/Jason 1988 Justice era

Something to do with all this - Angst, Hurt, Comfort, Fluff

James and Jason have been dating for a while now. Jason thinks it's time for James to meet his family in Michigan. James isn't ready.

I was kind of hoping it would tie into Cliff and Cliff's family in some way for why he's not ready to meet Jason's family.

Thank you so much! And Happy Birthday! 🎂

Thank you so much for the ask! And so sorry it’s taken me so long to answer 💞

You can also read on ao3 here ❤️

“I think you should meet my parents.”

James chokes on his beer, splutters into a coughing fit. Jason’s hands warm his back, patting it lightly until he can finally suck in a breath.

“What?” he squeaks, cheeks burning. He clears his throat, watches as Jason gets up to flip the vinyl on the record stand.

“They’d love you,” Jason shrugs, closing the lid as Lou Reed starts to drone on in the background.

James has never been a fan of his music. He says as much.

“Why’d you put this pussy shit on?”

It’s petulant.

It changes the subject.

Jason sighs, deep with his shoulders, turns to lean back against the set of drawers.

Maybe not.

“I’m serious, James.”

His eyes are wide, makes him look younger. James takes a long pull of his beer, Jason’s expression doesn’t flicker.

“So am I”, James says, adorns a lopsided grin, but Jason just sighs, again, and James wonders how long it’ll take before he’s sick of him.

“Look, I know it’ll be hard, especially because of the situation with your parents -“ understatement “-but I think it’ll be good for you.”

James bristles a little at the mention of his parents, eyes darting to the floor. There’s a stain in the very middle of the rug. Looks like piss.

“James.”

It’s probably piss.

“James, man. Talk to me.”

He blames Lars. He makes a mental note to make him slug it to the dry cleaners.

A hand comes to his jaw, softly tilts his head up. He holds his breath.

“We’ve been together a long time now,” Jason says, face soft, eyes kind.

And well.. James wouldn’t say nine months is a long time. But he’s not counting.

“I know,” he says anyway, just to placate the concern etched into the lines of Jason’s face.

Jason thumbs at his jaw a little before leaning down, catches him in a small open-mouthed kiss.

“You’ll be fine. My parents are nice. And we’ve got a weekend off coming up.”

James doesn’t like that the subject isn’t being dropped.

He fidgets.

“If Lars lets us,” he says, though he knows full well if he commands, Lars will always obey. Most of the time. The little fucker’s always been more bark than bite.

Jason rolls his eyes at that, he knows James too well to buy that shit, moves to plant himself on the couch next to him.

“It’ll be fun,” Jason says, wriggles his socked feet onto James’s lap. “And we’ll be back here for your birthday.”

“Whoopee-doo.”

Jason doesn’t mistake the sarcasm but intends to ignore it anyways. James wonders how he’s ended up with someone so fucking optimistic.

“I can call them later, let them know. My sister’s probably home too; she usually is in the summer.”

James really isn’t in the mood for this. He pokes at Jason’s toes, grinds his teeth. Jason’s eyes bore into him but he’s feeling a bit too uncomfortable to meet his gaze.

“James,” Jason pleads.

James wishes he would just take the fucking hint. He’s really not up for this right now. He downs the rest of his beer, crumpled the can in his fist.

“I know it’s gonna be.. err- hard because of what happened with Cliff-“

“You don’t know shit,” James snaps, tosses the can to the floor. Jason takes his feet from his lap.

“No I know. But it’s gonna happened sometime, dude. And unless you wanna talk about it I don’t know where he fuck I stand.”

Jason has a point. For once.

James wipes a hand over his face. The reminder of Cliff just sours his mood, makes him feel hollow with guilt and grief because he just misses him so goddamn much.

He’d met Cliff’s parents, back in ‘84, and he remembers how his mother had hugged him as soon as he set foot in the door, had fed him into next week and was more concerned for his health than anyone had been before. And his father had clapped him on the shoulder when they’d talked about their upcoming tour, had called him son. It’s the closest thing to a family he ever felt.

But then Cliff died.

Mrs Burton still calls him, checks up on him and the boys because she worries, but he can’t stand to keep a relationship with a family that’s not even his; doesn’t want to accidentally step into Cliff’s shoes.

So the idea of being - hopefully - welcomed into Jason’s family almost feels too much, like they’re reaching out a rope of security and love that he just knows one day will be pulled loose.

He doesn’t want the wool over his eyes if it just means he’s gonna lose more people.

Jason’s shifted to get closer to him now, rests his arms on James’s knees.

“Hey, it’s okay, y’know, to let me in. I’m not a mind reader.”

James just shrugs because he doesn’t have the words for the indescribable feeling of fitting into a family that will never be yours.

They sit in silence.

Then, Jason says, “We don’t have to.”

James feels like an idiot now.

“I know,” he murmurs after a moment, finally glances at Jason, feeling something akin to guilt settle in his chest.

Jason moves to lace their fingers together, squeezes his hand gently.

“Too soon?”

James’s throat feels like it’s suffocating him from the inside, but he manages to chokes out, “it’s not- im not-“

“You don’t have to explain,” Jason interrupts, earnest now, and James has never felt more grateful.

Jason pulls him in then, warm arms enclosing around him, and James hides his face in his neck.

“I’ll think about it,” he mumbles amongst Jason’s curls, and Jason just nods, kissing his temple gently.

[cheiyunn]

Kimisute main story [２部 ] Part 1

Side: Fujin Rizing

[Hospital]

Fuuta: I’m glad that there wasn’t any big injury

Mother: Thank you so much, really. C’mon, you need to say thank you too

Child: Thanks big bro!

Fuuta: r-right. Make sure you look both ways next time okay

Child: Kay–

.

[Outside]

Mother: I really don’t know how to thank you enough… um, is your… is it okay?

Fuuta: y-yeah… its’s fine! Then excuse me..!

Mother: ah…

.

[Fuuta leaves]

[Time passes // It’s raining]

Fuuta: Hah…hah…!

Fuuta: Sakutaro…Sakutaro… I’m sorry, did it hurt !?

Fuuta: I’m sorry, I’m really sorry…! Sakutaro, I’m sorry…!

Fuuta: It hurts doesn’t it… I need to get back and get you treated…!

Fuuta: I don’t wanna lose you again!

Fuuta: ….again…?

Fuuta: ….I said… again…. Right…?

Fuuta: …Sakutaro… gh…

[Flash of light]

Fuuta: I’m pretty sure I saw… someone’s…face…

Fuuta: ….gh….

.

[Skyfox Record office]

Sosui: Sorry for calling you all like this, It’d have been better if I could have come to you

Kohei: No worries, we should be the ones coming over. Sorry but Fuuta will be running a little late… he should be here soon I think

Sosui: Thanks for relaying that. Let's get to the main point and talk about your new song

Misaki: Hell yeah! I’m looking forward to it!

Aoi: Thank you!

Sosui: Same here. So, for your new song

Sosui: I was thinking of a song that both your fans can enjoy and at the same time for people who don’t really know you can vibe to the rhythm..

Misaki: I mean, thats how we usually do things so it isn’t much of a change?

Sosui: Yeah. For the time being, its best to keep the showcase as original to yourselves

Sosui: In order to create that familiarity, for people to go ‘When I think of Fujin Rizing I think of this!’ .

Yamato: ..Is that all

Sosui: Of course it isn’t good for the audience to think you’re a one trick pony, so maybe you can try some other things

Sosui: But for now, I think it's better to showcase Fujin Rizing’s main appeal to a broader audience first 

Yamato: …okay

Misaki: Oi Yamato..! Why’re you makin’ such a sour face!

Misaki: Despite Sosui-san doing this and that and thinkin’ about us !?

Misaki: You gotta be more hyped up !

Yamato: I know. Since if we don’t have any new songs it’ll be hard

Yamato: But, as long as we can safely release one, isn't it enough to celebrate?

Misaki: I’m trying to raise the atmosphere high and happy so don’t be sayin’ stuff that brings it down–!

Aoi: Oh come on… you also need to calm down a bit Misaki! I understand where you’re at but we shouldn’t be making a fuss at the office!

Kohei: And Yamato, you don’t need to keep firing back at Misaki. You know how he is

Yamato: That’s true

Misaki: hey, HEY ! Why’re y’all painting me as the bad one here!

Kohei: Anyways, since we got the material from Sosui-san…

Kohei: After we make a light demo, we should contact you right?

Sosui: Yeah, please do

Aoi: We’ll do our best!

Aoi: Okay, let's go home. Once we get back we can discuss the new song

[The others leave]

.

Sosui: If they continue to keep the group atmosphere like today’s… it won’t end well…

Aoi: what…

Sosui: Whoops… seems you heard that. It's just a random uneasiness that hopefully won’t come around

Aoi: …right. We’ll be okay, it’ll work out

Aoi: Then, excuse us

[Aoi leaves]

.

Sosui: …well then, what to do about this…

.

[Sharehouse]

Kohei: Fuuta! Why didn’t you tell us–

Fuuta: Ko-nii ! Sakutaro he, Sakutaro he’s…!

Kohei: ….!? We need to bring it to the repai- Hospital. We need to get him to the hospital immediately…. Aoi, can you bring him !?

Aoi: The normal place right, no worries! Fuuta, let's go !

[italiansteebie]

Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer

also on ao3

TW// TW// Steve gets drugged in this story, there's attempted rape, nothing explicit but the themes are present. Please protect yourself and do not read if this is going to trigger or upset you in anyway.

Eddie had been sitting at the bar, mindlessly tapping his fingers along with the song that played over the speakers. Robin had told him about the bar a few weeks ago, a safe place y'know? And he finally worked up the courage to go. 

He was playing it cool, came alone to check out the scene. 

He’d just gotten a refill when he spotted him. There on the dance floor, in all his glory, was Steve Harrington, just, going to town. He was swaying his hips, and he was actually… Good. 

Eddie would look like a total idiot if he tried to go out there like that but with Steve, it looked beautiful, natural almost. And the outfit he was wearing just accentuated it all. Short, tight cutoffs and a flowy crop top that looked like it came out of Nancy’s closet. Honestly, he wouldn’t be that surprised if it did come out of her closet. 

The song was over almost as quick as it started and the sensual movements were over, Eddie felt disappointed, almost. Based on the cheering from the bartender and the other patrons, this dance moment was a regular occurrence. 

“He’s good isn’t he?” The voice startled him out of his trance, “Uh, what?” He said, ever so eloquent. The bartender smirked, “He’s a good dancer, right? He comes almost every Friday night and just… Lets loose. It’s kind of admirable.” She smiled in Steve’s direction. They watched as the patrons surrounded Steve, a few being more aggressive with their grabs and cheers, and Eddie darkened. He turned back to the bartender who also had a sour look on her face, “Yeah. That’s been happening a lot. We’ve had to walk him out to his car on more than one occasion. We’ve even banned a few people for the way they treat him. I feel bad. I don’t even know his name.” 

Eddie sighed, “It’s Steve,” The bartender raised her eyebrow, “You’re not some kind of stalker are you?” Eddie laughed, “No, no. We’ve got mutual friends, and we’re… acquaintances.” The bartender laughed, “So, that means you guys are dancing around the feelings y’all have for each other, right?” Eddie blushed at that, she got it just by talking to him for five minutes, was he really that obvious? 

Steve caught his eye and waved excitedly, “Eddie! Hey!” He cheered, walking his way towards the bar, “Your usual honey?” The bartender asked to which Steve nodded enthusiastically. Steve got his drink, and they talked for a minute, small talk, nothing of substance. “I’m gonna go mingle, see ya later Eds!” 

And then Eddie didn’t see him for a while, but when he did… Something was very, very wrong. 

He watched carefully as a guy draped Steve’s languid body over him, as he got closer, Eddie could see the way his pupils were blown wide, and the lazy smile on his face. He tensed as the guy practically carried Steve out the front door. He followed them quickly, making it to the parking lot just as the guy reached his car. Steve seemed to recognize him in his haze, slumped against the car, “Eddieeeee, heyyyy.” It was dragged out and weak. The guy glared at him, “Look pal, I don’t care if you guys talked earlier, he’s mine, so move along.” The guy made a shoo-ing motion, hushing Steve harshly when he let out a whimper. “You’re holding my arm too tight, it hurts,” He weakly pushed the guy's hand away, Eddie got closer, and the guy puffed up at him. “Steve. Do you want to go with this douche?” Steve shook his head, “I don’t feel good, I wanna go home Eds.” The guy shoved at Eddie’s shoulder, making him stumble “I’m taking him home, so back off ‘Eds’.” 

Oh, so this guy wanted a fight. He pushed Eddie around, postured up, and obviously slipped something in Steve’s drink, so yeah. He was gonna get a fight. The douchebag released his grip on Steve, causing him to fall against the asphalt, groaning at the impact. 

After the upside down, Eddie took it upon himself to learn how to fight, and the guy being drunk off his ass, would go down like a sack of potatoes with one punch. So they postured, Eddie let the guy get comfortable, land a few hits, before he reared back and punched him square in the jaw. The guy hit the ground, knocking his head on the curb as he fell. He was out cold, Eddie couldn’t bring himself to care. 

He picked Steve up from his spot on the ground, “You okay, baby?” Steve whimpered but nodded, Eddie pressed a kiss to his temple, and set him in his van. He locked Steve inside, before heading back into the bar to let the bartender know what happened. “He’s out front passed out on the curb so you know who to look for.” The bartender sighed sadly, and nodded, “Looks like another ban, go take care of Stevie, okay?” Eddie nodded curtly and jogged back to his van.

By the time he got there Steve was asleep, leaning against the window, curled up in the seat. Eddie sighed as he got into the van, staring at Steve for a minute before starting it up and making his way home. 

He carried Steve bridal style into the trailer, Wayne casting a glance at him before sighing, “Oh, Eddie.” Eddie scoffed, “I didn’t do anything, Wayne, I saved him from some asshole who drugged him, okay?” Wayne shook his head. “I have no doubts that you did, son. Always had a soft spot for the strays.” He hummed, turning back to the flickering TV. “Make sure to keep him on his side, son.” Wayne called as Eddie walked back into his bedroom. 

Eddie laughed softly, “And I’m the one with the soft spot, huh, old man?” He asked quietly, more to himself than anyone else. 

—--

When Steve woke up, he didn’t know where he was, he thrashed about in the bed before finding his bearings and prepared to sneak out of whoever’s house he was in. He sat up and took in his surroundings, he knows this place, Eddie’s trailer. He remembers seeing Eddie at the bar last night… Did he? No. Eddie wouldn’t do that. Just then Eddie walked into the room, Steve failing to hold back a flinch. “Oh, Stevie.” “Uh, what. How did I get here?” Eddie smiled sadly, “Someone dropped something in your drink last night, baby.” He said softly, watching as Steve’s eyes cast downwards and well up with tears, “Not again,” He whimpered. “This has happened before?” Eddie asked, keeping his tone soft, Steve nodded, “Usually the bartender finds me before anything happens.” Eddie sighed, brushing the hair off Steve’s forehead. 

“Thanks for taking care of me last night, Eddie.”

“Always, Stevie. Now that I’m here, I’ll always take care of you.”

And he kept his promise, attending every dance session, walking out with him, arms wrapped around each other's waists, always holding his drink, never letting him out of his sight. They took care of each other, until it involved into something a little bit more, something a little softer. It was good for them, and soon Steve’s solo dance sessions turned into couples dance sessions. Maybe Eddie was a little awkward and floppy, but Steve wouldn’t haven’t any other way. They wouldn’t have it any other way.

[sercezgazety]

The Emperor's Two Bodies

There are two separate bodies that the Emperor has. One is very old and fragile. With every passing day, it becomes more fatigued, losing the fight against the curse. This body’s joints ache when the weather changes and ache when it doesn’t. It requires palismen to keep its form. It doesn’t lack any teeth, but that’s rather unfortunate, given how sensitive they are to low temperatures and sour tastes.

When the curse pours over, depriving the body of its shape and grotesquely elongating its limbs, it loses fingernails by the time the sludge finally recedes. It doesn’t matter how well-versed in healing magic the Emperor is, at some point the nailbeds just start hurting permanently. Which is a good thing. It means there’s no necrosis.

This body is dying, has been dying for decades, and there’s no way around it. The palismen just prolong the inevitable. They buy this body time so that the Emperor can accomplish his mission, but eventually, his iron will is not going to be enough to keep it moving and breathing. Oh, don’t give me that look, William. You know it’s true.

On bad days, this body’s breath smells like something dead and rotten, and on really bad days, when it coughs into a handkerchief, there are maggots squirming in the sputum. The Emperor makes sure to burn the piece of fabric immediately, but it doesn’t change the harsh realities. He isn’t in full control of his body — and no wonder, no witch and no demon have such a power. When bodies hurt, they just hurt, and when they rebel, they rebel, even though the curse has made sure that this one rebels more than any other. To witness this body’s failings is dangerous and, if one doesn’t have enough common sense to move aside when the Emperor’s hands turn into spikes, then yes, painful at times. But it is also the greatest privilege there is. It is the sign of ultimate trust to be allowed so close. If someone truly loves the Emperor as dearly as he claims he does, he stays by the Emperor’s side, Hunter.

Like all bodies, this one needs to eat, sleep, and sometimes perform other functions discreetly. With every passing year, its sleep gets interrupted more and more frequently by said functions. This body has foods it finds agreeable and many more that make it nauseous, but the ones it likes, it really likes. It’s tall, but straightening its back hurts, so it spends most of the time hunched. But watch closely, my dear boy. That other one might be slightly hunched as well, but it’s sitting on a throne, and when it stands, it stands tall, towering over everyone else.

That other body, Luke, the one that never ceases to command respect, belongs to the most powerful witch on the entire Isles, who knows, perhaps in the entire realm. It is untouchable, and there are those who say it’s immortal.

Almost nobody has seen it, it remains hidden behind the mask and the gauntlets. It has magic no other body possesses and no one in the Isles has ever seen ere. The Emperor conjures up blades made out of flesh that are sharper and harder than any steel. He makes the ground swallow him and spit him out anywhere he pleases, provided he’s willing to deal with the inconvenience of limbs materializing twisted in ways no other body’s joints would allow. He speaks to the Titan Himself, and it’s very obvious he has some connection to His flesh, being able to summon vines, limbs and tendons from the ground with nothing but a wave of a hand. The Emperor’s magic operates on that which is alive, but not quite. He animates the tools he requires.

The Golden Guard has similar magic, although it’s merely borrowed from the Emperor and cannot be used without the staff. The staff, mind you, Timothy, is just one part of his regalia. It marks him as the Emperor’s, yes, but the thing that truly marks him is the mask.

keep reading here

[its--ok--to--shine]

Analyzing the Roman/Gerri crumbs in episode 4 and why i’m hopeful

THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 EP 3 DONT READ IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP

1. we have to remind ourselves: this episode, the funeral, occurs the next day. it’s barely been 24 hours since their conversation. and less than that since logan’s death. i was kind of surprised the funeral was the literal next day. it made sense roman & gerri didn’t have a full scene because there was so much going on that was a priority. plus both of their wounds are still fresh and everyone was around and so much was happening. writing wise it made sense why it didn’t happen

2. i think their scene will be next episode. although mattson wanted them to fly out the next day, (the conversation with the kids)i doubt they will go then. There may be some lulls while on the trip where they can fight it out lol

3. Gerri and roman making comments about greg. after roman’s first joke to greg, gerri chuckles. he then continues to make another joke and then after greg responds gerri makes a jab at greg as well. this matters because this is the first time we have seen her laugh and smile around roman in MONTHS. (besides her little thank u in ep 3) i mean they weren’t even in the same rooms the first two episodes and before that was italy and we all know how that went. there still is something there (less factual more hopeful here lol)

5. without logan looming roman seems far more confident and self assured i could see their dynamic evolving from mentor/mentee to actual partners which could also make it easier for the romance too

6. he’s lying about how it’s over with gerri. he could have said something way worse about her to his siblings when they asked if he was still pulling for her. he also would not look at kendall. roman is a pretty good liar but he never ever looks them in the eye when he lies. maybe because he is worried they will call his bluff but it happens a lot

7. although it hurt when roman brought up gerri souring on logan i noticed a few things in this. he didn’t look at her when he said it only when she responded, he was confident enough to disagree with her, and he didn’t push it about her firing being in writing (he could have) i think she will have more respect for him because he said exactly what karl did and he isn’t just going to be her little yes man anymore.

8. Kendall went behind roman’s back and said to move forward smearing dad. His first move is to go against roman’s wishes & hurt their dad. Even tho logan is gone, roman’s abuse ran deep and he always justified the abuse because deep down he desperately loved him and wanted to be loved by him. I think kendall smearing their father will make him reconsider his alliances and maybe go back to gerri. i don’t see how he could let it go because in the end roman always chose his dad over everyone.

overall i’m hopeful that we will see some of their old dynamic back and maybe it evolve into something real. either that or i riot lmao

long post but let me know your thoughts :)

[imrix]

Alright yeah having finished it I get what the buzz about Cyberpunk Edgerunners was, even though cyberpunk as a genre and in particular its treatment of cyberware usually isn’t my jam. Damn good show.

Becca deserved better though - like, not even for her own sake, I think her ending hurts the story a little. Spoiler meta below the cut.

Edgerunners is a story about the value of human connections - that much was obvious pretty much from the moment David fell in with runners because they could make a pitch to him as people, where the corpo recruitment offer is as impersonal as a recorded message. But it’s also a story about ego and addiction and how poisonous they are to those connections. It is, after all, a tragedy where all of one of the crew makes it out alive (two if you count Falco, which... ehhh?), having lost a great part of what she was living for.

And the big foible that's constantly on display, the way those connections sour, is like - Gloria and Lucy and David and even Maine to a degree, they're all carrying that throughline of trying to save/protect others, to be the person who saves/protects others, even as in doing so they're stifling or destroying the dreams and desires of the people they're trying to protect. It’s about them being the saviour more than it is about connecting with or understanding their loved ones.

Gloria wants to save her son from the squalid life she knows, even as it crushes him. Lucy wants to save David, even as she can't bring herself to let him in to give him the connection he yearns for. David wants to save Lucy, more than he cares that she wants him to stay alive with her. Maine wants to be the strong father leading his crew to prosperity and success, even as he destroys himself with a chrome addiction that ruins their capacity to be a crew.

Becca is different in that she's about the one person in the cast who's willing to put herself out there and... care about the desires of the people she cares about, I guess, which is to me a rock-solid necessity of building anything healthy.

She wants David, but she doesn't do the catty thing and try to compete with Lucy for him - she's a bit grumpy that David wants Lucy instead of her, but she ultimately accepts it, and more, she acts on that acceptance by leaning in to saving Lucy for the sake of bringing David back to himself. And for a story about the value of connections and how they fail, I think it's a poor choice to strangle that before it can say its piece in the final accounting.

It’s a basic rule of action storytelling, right? Any fight between characters (rather than a character versus the living scenery of mooks) is on some level an argument between who they are and what they represent. Fights turn on who's winning the argument. But Becca doesn't get to have an argument, and I think that's a poor narrative choice when she has something important to say for what I saw as pretty core to the story.

Would it have been better if she lived? Mm, maybe. You could do something pretty poignant if she’d been the one to get Lucy out safely (She's not a great driver - fine, neither was David and he still pulled stunts pretty quick when Lucy dropped him behind the wheel), and how that vindicates her behaviour as the only way you really make it or save anything, even if that’s still a tragedy of people surviving even as they lose the great part of what they lived for. But honestly it’s still fine if she dies, so long as she gets to have a bit of an exchange with Adam Smasher to acknowledge the significance of what she represents, rather than abruptly offing her. Something that speaks to Smasher's nature as a corporate tool severed from sentiment, or just his personal sociopathy.

[1989dreamer]

Chapter 26 of Looking for a Place to Call Home

LfaPtCH Tag

                                                                                                                     ~ * ~

Derek can barely keep his eyes open as they eat, still leaning on Stiles. He keeps expecting to be shrugged off, but Stiles smells content and actually loops an arm around Derek to keep him upright when he lists a little too far and starts tipping over.

Isaac made far too many waffles even for five werewolves and three humans, and even Laura and Cora reach their limits after a fourth helping each.

Derek manages three bites of his third serving before his stomach slips and he rushes to the bathroom, barely able to hold off on expelling the food he’s just eaten before his head is over the toilet bowl.

Someone brushes their hand down his back, offering a bit of comfort as he dry heaves, saliva dripping from his mouth.

Slowly, Derek becomes aware of the person speaking. He isn’t too surprised to find that it’s Stiles rubbing his back, talking quietly as he keeps a steady, grounding pressure on Derek’s back.

“You’re okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

Derek doesn’t believe him. How can everything be okay when Derek can’t eat enough to put on weight and Laura is going back to her captors to rescue the child they forced her to have? How can Stiles lie so easily when Derek knows he has seen so many bad things as a deputy?

Stiles helps him stand when he finally stops retching. He wets a washcloth and gently wipes snot and saliva from Derek’s face.

“How are you feeling now?”

Derek shakes his head. He still feels queasy even if there’s nothing left in his stomach. He doesn’t know if the sensation will pass shortly or if he’ll have to stay in the bathroom in case his body decides to eject more.

Peter knocks on the door frame. “Is everyone okay?” he asks, eyeing Stiles with unbridled suspicion.

“Is there any ginger tea?” Stiles pats Derek’s back lightly before rubbing a soothing circle between his shoulder blades. “My mom swore by it whenever my dad or I felt a little under the weather.”

“Just ginger tea?” Peter asks, mischievous. “Not something stronger? She was knowledgeable about a lot of different plants, after all.”

“She was also the Hale emissary before she died.” Stiles sounds hard, like Peter pushed too hard and now he’s trying to hide any hurt behind a shield of anger.

“And your dad became our emissary after,” Peter says with forced lightness. “We—I am so grateful to your parents for the support and kindness they showed my family. I’m sure we can find some ginger tea if you think it will help.”

“What do you say, bud?” Stiles pats Derek’s back gently. “Think ginger tea sounds good?”

Derek nods. He has a faint memory of being sick as a very young child and being given something warm and spicy to drink, but he doesn’t know if that was ginger tea nor does he remember who gave it to him.

He lets Stiles heft him up into his arms and carry him into the kitchen. He could walk but his stomach hurts and he’s tired. Besides, Stiles has a nice scent. Derek buries his nose against Stiles’ shirt and inhales deeply. This smell must be why Peter likes him so much.

Stiles’ heartbeat quickens as Peter trails them back to the table where Erica already has a mug steeping.

“Thanks for supper,” John says, “but it’s way past time to be going to bed.” He yawns widely as if to make his point. “I’ll be back around 4:00. Be ready to go.” He leaves but Stiles stays at the table, watching as Derek takes careful sips from the mug. It definitely is the spicy drink he remembers, and with more life experience, he can definitely taste the ginger in it.

Peter hovers behind Stiles for a few minutes, something distinctly indecisive about his scent.

As soon as Derek finishes drinking the tea, Peter takes the mug and puts it in the sink. Then, he sits next to Stiles, who barely spares him a glance.

“Do I make you nervous?” Peter asks.

Stiles’ scent goes sour. “No,” he replies stiffly. “Why? Are you trying to make me nervous?”

Peter smells sad, as if Stiles said the wrong thing. But how could he? He’s telling the truth as far as his heartbeat and sweat response betray.

And then Derek remembers something about his uncle: he shows his teeth when he’s flirting. Mom used to explain to the men Peter brought home that if they were patient then they would get past the teeth. Not many had enough patience, and the ones that did were meaner than Peter.

Derek looks between his miserable uncle and his equally miserable crush and rolls his eyes at them. Neither of them notice because they’re too busy ignoring each other.

“Peter likes you,” he announces, making them both jump. Peter flushes under Stiles’ sudden stare. “And Stiles likes you too, Peter.”

Stiles blushes hotly too. “I do not,” he protests as his heartbeat blips wildly.

“You do,” Peter says, amazement in his tone. “Even though you think I’m a murderer?”

“I know you’re a murderer,” Stiles corrects, “but I’m not so sure that you’ll keep murdering people aside from the trip you’re about to take.”

Peter lowers his head and closes his eyes. Then, slowly, he lifts his head and opens his eyes. Stiles doesn’t react to Peter’s blazing blue eyes.

“I know the people in New York have hurt your family,” Stiles says softly. “And I know law enforcement has failed you before, but I don’t trust you to come back unscathed. You have to understand; that’s my dad. My only living relative. I can’t lose him.”

“I can’t promise anything,” Peter’s eyes flicker back to human blue, “but I can tell you he’ll have better odds if I go too.”

Derek leaves them at the table and goes to his room. Isaac is sitting at the desk, writing a letter. Derek ignores him and crawls under the bed. He isn’t hiding exactly, but he doesn’t want to be found.

He doesn’t want his sister to go to New York but he does want them to find her daughter.

He also doesn’t want to listen to his uncle awkwardly try to flirt with Stiles. He’d be happy to call Stiles “Uncle” but it’s a little too soon to know if he and Peter even want to date each other.

Attraction doesn’t mean love.

Kate and the hunters have taught Derek that. He remembers things, sights, sounds, smells, and he curls into a tight ball, hands pressed against his ears, trying to block everything out.

“Are you comfortable under there?” Isaac asks, breaking into Derek’s spiraling thoughts. “I mean, I’m sure you are, but don’t you want to be on top of the bed?”

Derek slides out from under the bed and climbs under the covers. Isaac stacks his papers, clicks his pen a few times, and turns off the light.

The bed dips when Isaac gets in, and a few minutes later, he’s settled and drifting off to sleep.

Derek listens to his slowing breathing for fifteen minutes before he’s positive Isaac is asleep. Then he slips out of bed and tiptoes back to the kitchen where Peter and Stiles are still sitting.

“I don’t care what advantage it would give me,” Stiles is saying, low and vehement. “I don’t want the bite.”

“Just think of all the cases you could solve if you had my senses.” Peter sounds passionate, like he truly believes he’s offering the best thing in the world to Stiles and Stiles is too dumb to realize it.

But Derek knows, as does Peter, that not everyone survives the bite. And sometimes, they don’t turn into werewolves at all.

Peter should tell Stiles about all the risks and not just the benefits.

Stiles responds with something biting but Derek doesn’t hear it because Peter suddenly grabs him and drags him into the kitchen by his collar.

“Little pups have big ears,” he says, pulling out a chair and pushing Derek to sit in it.

Stiles glares at Peter. “You shouldn’t be so rough with the people you claim to love.”

“Claim?” Peter snorts. “There is no ‘claim,’ Deputy. I love my family beyond life itself. I don’t need you to tell me how to show it.”

“Then you need to not grab or drag people around like they’re bags waiting for you to move them.” Stiles and Peter glare at each other, and Derek holds his breath, certain that Peter will lash out and Stiles, human Stiles, will get hurt.

Instead, Peter breaks eye contact first. “I’m sorry, Derek,” he says gruffly, sincerely. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Derek stays quiet. Peter absolutely meant to scare him. What he probably didn’t mean to do was hurt him. There was no reason to grab Derek like that, and he’s glad Stiles pointed it out.

Peter hugs him, smacking a kiss onto the top of his head.

“It’s past time for you to be in bed if you’re going to New York.” Stiles’ tone is icy. He’s still mad.

“Will you stay?” Peter asks. “I’m sure we can find room for you somewhere.”

Stiles shakes his head. “I’d better head out.” He narrows his eyes at Peter as if telling him to behave. “I’ll stop back tomorrow to make sure everything is going okay.” He gives Derek a one-armed hug. “Call me if you need anything.” He presses a card into Derek’s hand. “My cell phone is always on, no matter the time. If you need me, I’ll be there.”

Then he gets up, grabs his keys, and leaves. Derek doesn’t wait for Peter to apologize again. He crawls back under the covers in his bed, listening to Isaac’s quiet snores, to Boyd’s deeper ones, his sisters’ gentle whimpers, Erica’s deep breaths, and doesn’t sleep at all.

                                                                                                                    ~ * ~

When Stiles gets back to his apartment, he finds Kincaid and Ramirez sitting on his front step.

“No offense,” he tells them before they can say anything, “but I’m really not in the mood.”

It may not be  terribly late—only just past 8:00 p.m.—but Stiles is exhausted. Maybe it’s the conversation he just had with Peter Hale. Maybe it’s the overtime he’s pulled the last few days. Whatever the cause, he can feel it in his bones, and he does not want to be dragged into whatever the rookie officers have come to consult him on.

“We just wanted to let you know that the preliminary autopsy on Alan Deaton didn’t find any wounds,” Ramirez says. “Apparently, he just drove into the lake on his own.”

“Or he swerved to avoid an animal,” Kincaid adds.

“I don’t care,” Stiles says. He still believes Peter had something to do with it, but at least he was sort of telling the truth when he said he hadn’t killed Deaton.

“Just thought you should know, sir.”

“If it’s any consolation, we think the FBI agent investigating the connection between the murders and the Hale house fire is a giant douchebag.”

Stiles stifles a laugh. Ramirez is going to be a great officer if she keeps her wits about her and doesn’t let the politics of law enforcement twist her morals. And as long as Kincaid follows Ramirez, and as long as he remains uncorrupted, he’ll be just fine too.

“Anything else?” he asks, key in his lock.

Kincaid blushes while Ramirez makes direct eye contact with him, challenging him to something he doesn’t realize until she follows it with, “We’re together, Thomas and I. We won’t let it affect our work, but we also won’t let it keep us apart.”

“Congratulations,” Stiles says dryly. “But I’m not your supervisor. If you want to make it official, you’ll have to take it up with Sheriff Parrish.”

Ramirez and Kincaid exchange a look of relief.

“Thank you, sir,” Kincaid says. “We’ll let you get back to your evening now. Have a nice night.” He takes Ramirez’s hand and leads her to a powder blue Toyota Corolla that has seen better days parked in front of Mrs. Henderson’s house.

Stiles waves them off and then heads inside. He hangs up his keys, locks the door, and grabs a beer from the fridge.

He doesn’t drink often, too afraid he’ll end up like his dad did right after his mom passed. It had taken almost three years before Dad sobered up enough to pay attention to Stiles again. By that time, it was almost too late to salvage their relationship.

Stiles has been very careful and only consumes alcohol in moderation, but tonight he just really needs a drink to help him digest everything.

He picks up a bottle opener and heads out to his back steps. He flicks off the cap and takes a long swallow.

Peter killed Kate Argent. Of that there’s no doubt. Although, Stiles doesn’t think he’d be any more likely to abstain if he’d found out she was the one who burned his family alive and kidnapped his nieces and nephew.

Peter’s involvement in the deaths of Deaton and Myers is less certain.

And to complicate things even more, Peter keeps flirting with Stiles.

There must be some kind of neon sign stuck to him that attracts crazy—no, Stiles corrects himself quickly, not crazy. Supernatural.

He sighs, finishing the bottle and setting it by his feet. It’s disgusting to him, but that’s why he drinks it. He won’t ever be tempted to empty his fridge if all he has is this cheap swill.

Nudging at the bottle with the toe of his shoe, Stiles idly wonders what effect alcohol has on werewolves. Would they get drunk and recover faster? Or would it not affect them at all?

He could ask Peter, but he doesn’t think that’s the best idea. Peter might just try to bite him.

Why, though? What’s wrong with being human? And more pressingly, would Stiles survive the bite? Mom was a spark, according to Dad. And something else, like Mom or Deaton’s sister, made them unable to be a werewolf at the same time. Talia Hale hadn’t bitten Mom because it wouldn’t have helped.

What if Stiles has inherited the spark from his mom?

Could he accept the bite knowing that it could—would probably—kill him?

No, Stiles decides. Human is what he’ll have to stay. He doesn’t need enhanced senses to know when someone is lying to him. He doesn’t need extra strength to take down perpetrators.

He doesn’t need to be a werewolf.

Stiles yawns widely, jaw creaking with it. He doesn’t need supernatural abilities, but he does need a good night’s rest. Especially if his plans to see his dad and his “team” off to the airport.

It’s a little suspect that everyone trusts this half-baked scheme. Stiles knows they can’t just be going back to New York for a gun competition, but he hopes they don’t end up murdering more people or worse.

Although, if Peter tags along, it seems likely that there might be just a touch of maiming.

Stiles takes his bottle inside to rinse and put with the other recyclable glass.

He brushes his teeth and takes a quick shower to wash off the day.

He sets an alarm, sets up his coffee pot for a few minutes before the alarm, and then lies down on his bed, listening to the building settle.

His upstairs neighbor, usually awake at this time and moving around is absent, so it should be easy to fall asleep, right?

Wrong.

Stiles’ mind is buzzing too much for his eyes to stay shut despite the lethargy pulling at his limbs.

And what is making his mind race? Peter Fucking Hale.

Peter, who flirted like it was a battle that he was going to win by sheer surprise.

Peter, who killed to avenge his family and to protect them.

Peter, who Stiles wonders what he would taste like if he kissed him.

It’s been a long time since Stiles has felt attraction. Just his luck that it’s the local murder-wolf.

Stiles sighs. He’s not getting any sleep tonight. He might as well get up and do something productive, like…like?

Like write out a list of pros and cons for dating Peter Hale.

Con: Peter is a murderer.

Pro: Peter only murders people who hurt his family.

Con: Peter confessed to killing Kate and will likely be arrested and prosecuted over it.

Pro: Peter looks like a good kisser and Stiles hasn’t been kissed in literal years.

Pro: Stiles is bi and Peter is easy on the eyes.

Pro: Stiles is ready for a relationship.

Con: With Peter?

Stiles drops his pen and buries his head in his arms.

Why does he make life so difficult on himself? Why did he have to get suspended—forced vacation, his ass—and why did he have to go back to Erica and Boyd’s house? Why is he even entertaining the idea of dating Peter Hale when there’s overwhelming evidence—and a confession to boot—that Peter Hale kills people?

He doesn’t have an answer. Not even close. He crumples up his list and throws it away.

Then he lies down on his couch and turns the TV to a late night infomercial channel, mutes it, and stares at the screen until his vision blurs enough that he can finally drift off to sleep.

He dreams of teeth and claws sharp enough to tear him apart and used gently to explore more of his body than he’s showed his last three partners.

And if Stiles wakes up with a crick in his neck and an uncomfortable hard on in his pants? At least there are no werewolf noses around to detect the shame on his skin before he washes it away with a cold shower.

On his way out the door, he grabs the pros and cons list out of the trash. He scribbles a large “X” over the page, flips it over, and writes one pro: loyal. He crumples the paper again, shoves it deep in the trash can, and then drives to the Boyds’ house.

He’s not going to stop Peter or his dad from going, but he also doesn’t want anger to be the last emotion he shares with them, especially if things go badly. And what the hell, he might as well find out if Peter kisses as good as he looks like he does.

                                                                                                                    ~ * ~

[rollercoasterwords]

Hi hi hi!! I hope you’re well 💖

Just a quick question! I’m making a typeset for thtf because I’d really love to try and bind my own copy of it SO I was just wondering if there was a quote that you really love/think suits the vibe that i could put at the start of the book? If possible two options would be wonderful bc I think I’m going to split it into 2 books (this is my first time binding a fic so I’m not entirely sure yet but I’m thinking two volumes… and I’ll also put thtb at the end of the second volume as well! So if you want a seperate quote for that I can do that too 🥰)

Thanks! 🌻

hello!!! i know i am SO late responding to this but first of all !!!!!! screaming and jumping up and down it makes me so emotional to hear that ur binding thtf if u do end up doing it and want to/would feel comfortable sending pics 2 me please do i would love to see <3 but in the meantime yes let me find some quotes!!

from ch 19: "She’s a phoenix, Dorcas thinks—something doomed to destroy itself, the way any good hero is."

from ch 33: "There is no ending where the wax does not melt; there is no conclusion to the story where the sea is not waiting."

i feel like those both kinda capture the vibe for like...the first part of the story? and then if ur splitting it into two i feel like this part of their conversation in ch 40 sort of encapsulates the war years:

"We have now. We’re alive, and we get to have that, and it’s like—don’t laugh, alright? But it’s like…trying to catch a butterfly. If you hold it too tight, you’ll only crush its wings. It just—it lands on you, and it’s there, and it’s beautiful, and you have the moments you have, and then it flies away. It still matters. It isn’t any less beautiful."

or like the end of that same conversation:

“How about this,” she whispers, as she strokes Marlene’s cheek, “How about we make a promise, yeah? I won’t let you die, so long as you don’t let me die, okay?”

Marlene laughs, a small, choked sound.

“That’s a stupid promise, Meadowes,” she says, leaning into Dorcas’s touch. Dorcas smiles.

“I know,” she whispers, “But let’s make it anyway.” 

and then i also really like this part from ch 47: "She wants to be the worst thing that has ever happened to her. She wants to be the only thing that ever hurts her. She wants to be the thorn that pierces and remains under skin, forcing the body to grow around it. That’s love, isn’t it?"

and then from the very last ch there's: "But what point is there, really, in living a hungry life? What point is there in rationing joy and hurt and risk when it could all go sour in an instant?"

if u wanted, u could also use the two quotes that i used on the very last chapters, which are both from the same scene in the book the last unicorn:

1: “I am myself still. This body is dying. I can feel it rotting all around me. How can anything that is going to die be real? How can it be truly beautiful?”

- The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle

2: “Whatever can die is beautiful—more beautiful than a unicorn, who lives forever, and who is the most beautiful creature in the world. Do you understand me?” “No,” she said. The magician smiled wearily. “You will. You’re in the story with the rest of us now, and you must go with it, whether you will or no.”

- The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle

anyway, those are my suggestions--but of course just go with whatever you like, ur the one binding it! and i know this response has been very delayed so it's possible u won't even need it anymore, but here it is just in case <3

[ciaossu-imagines]

Again, I know this fandom isn’t popular…at all. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had a follower who knew this manga/anime? But I still write for it because it makes me happy and because I hope the writing I do for it will peak someone’s interest into picking up the manga! It’s definitely a recommendation from me! Using this prompt here, and letting the wheel choose for me, I wrote some headcanons for Shichirou Ougai!

Coffee or tea?

Shichirou prefers tea, particularly sencha tea. When he does drink coffee, it’s cold and in a can.

Cars or planes?

He feels most comfortable in the air, especially because of his abilities and he’d choose to fly rather than drive whenever possible. Planes appeal to him and he does have an interest in them and I strongly headcanon that he actually knows the different models and brands of airplanes pretty well.

Books or movies?

He reads more books, especially because he’s a student. I also think he reads for pleasure as well though, but not usually fiction. He prefers non-fiction, especially Japanese history. The only time he really watches movies are on dates.

Movies or tv shows?

Again, I really don’t think he watches a lot of television. He watches more movies and I don’t think Shichirou is someone who can sit down and watch more than a half-hour episode of a television show and even that is pushing it a little.

Books or magazines?

He prefers books to magazines, though I do think he has subscriptions for, or buys from the newsstand, one or two specialty magazines that have to do with his hobbies or interests.

Soda or water?

He prefers water and actually doesn’t much care for soda. It just doesn’t appeal to him, but he wouldn’t feel strongly enough about it to call it gross or anything.

Long-term relationships or casual flings?

Shichirou takes a lot after his father and that extends to being a bit of a womanizer. He’s very flirty by nature and charming and he does have the habit of playing the field. However, when he finds someone he truly cares about, he will remain loyal to that person, even though monogamy is harder for him than it is for most people.

Sweet or sour?

He would prefer savory or salty over either of these flavours, but if pressed to choose, he’d probably opt for something a little sweeter than something sour. He finds sour things, if he eats any amount of it, hurts his mouth and leaves his tongue feeling raw.

Sci-fi or fantasy?

Shichirou grew up in a world where fantasy is reality, so it holds no appeal to him. But science fiction isn’t really his thing either. While I firmly hold that non-fiction holds far more appeal to him, he would probably choose fantasy over sci-fi, just because he can connect to it more.

Pizza or fries?

Fries all the way. I really think he likes salty things quite a bit and he douses his fries in salt, even if they were cooked with salt already. He dips them in mayo, if anyone is curious.

Vanilla or chocolate?

Shichirou prefers vanilla, finding most chocolate flavored things taste really artificial and chemical. Even artificial vanilla doesn’t have that weird chemical aftertaste to his tongue, though he will prefer desserts with freshly ground vanilla beans over an artificially flavored vanilla dessert.

Going to the movies or long walks?

He does prefer long walks, both with company and by himself. The movies is a fail-safe date plan, but he has no interest in movies outside of that and even then, they don’t give him quite the same amount of human connection as a long walk with someone would.

Pants or skirts?

I don’t know why, but I do truly believe that, though he wears pants more often, Shichirou would be completely comfortable wearing a skirt or a dress. I don’t think he quite buys firmly into the whole masculine or feminine classification of clothing and wouldn’t really see the big deal. As long as the clothing is comfortable and he feels good in it, that’s all that matters to him.

Shower or bath?

Long baths and especially bathing in hot springs. His perfect vacations are always to places with natural hot springs. Even just with regular baths, he likes to take long ones, where he just relaxes and unwinds in the hot water. And it does have to be hot, hot to the point it kind of hurts the first couple of seconds you get into it.

Formal or casual?

While I feel he dresses more formal and his speech can sometimes come across as almost formal, he’s more casual with people and the way he behaves.