girlwithcrushes-blog

[mummer]

the tension between the absurd and the real in barry is so good it makes me want to explode

[probably-haven]

How Visions Work(Theory)

genshin spoilers

there’s a lot of headcanons about the effect of visions on the body temperature of the characters with pyro or cryo visions but a lot of them stop there an i want to propose we take it one step further

so the general agreement is that pyro users run hot and cryo characters run cold but imma take a moment to talk about the science of that real quick.

if something feels warm, its because the object is expelling heat from itself to its outside environment(itself losing warmth) if something feels cold, its because it’s absorbing and taking the heat from the outside environment into itself(itself gaining warmth)

which actually matches up pretty well with how i believe their visions work which ill cover before getting into what i think that means

pyro visions work by absorbing the users body heat and before then expelling it into the environment when they wish to use it. When the vision reaches what is essentially its max storage capacity, it resumes working at normal, absorbing heat from the user until it’s used, but at this point it stabilizes, because the pyro energy built up within begins overflowing into the nearby environment, a majority of it returning to the user to keep their body temperature from getting too dangerously out of wack. But by passing through the vision, the body heat is converted into pyro energy and made more intense, so the surplus tends to linger around the user, hence the heat that can be felt when touching or around them. the user can then use their powers with either the pyro energy stored in the vision, or that which still lingers around them. 

cryo visions on the other hand work in a bit more of a complicated manor. like pyro visions and other visions, most of the energy that they get is from interaction with the user, in this instance, steadily taking heat from the environment that would have naturally have been observed by the vision had it been any other inanimate object and passing in through the vision and into the user, the process creating of the heat leaving the vision creating cryo energy, a sort of anti-heat vaccuum-like substance, which once it reaches it’s max, overflows in a way similar to the pyro vision, leaking into the nearby environment, helping to balance the user’s body temperature while the remainder lingers around them, absorbing heat from the environment. the user can then use the energy stored in the vision(less than pyro because more steps means less room) or that which still lingers around them (more because less room means more over flow), plus they need more surplus in order to balance cuz their temperature is more volatile

visions do however possess the ability to begin expelling energy early should the user’s body temperature become too dangerous, an ability that is missing from delusions of the corresponding element

-

this leads me to have a few headcanons that i really like because im obsessed with angst

1. contrary to what you might believe, after using a significant amount of their powers, Pyro users are are absolutely cold to the touch(cuz the lack of surplus energy leaves nothing to disguise or raise their low body temperature as the constantly absorbing heat to refuel) and Cryo users feel hot (the lack of surplus energy doing nothing to disguise or lower their high body temperature as the vision is constantly having to expel surrounding heat into the user in order to refuel cryo energy)

2. however during this state they are also the least likely to leave behind traces of elemental energy(like those that can be seen with elemental sight) 

3. this cycling of energy actually makes a vision behave more like a part of the user that also serves its own role in maintaining homeostasis (makes it so losing a vision is quite literally comparable to losing an organ)

4. until the vision has enough stored energy for surplus to linger, Cryo users are prone to over heating and Pyro users are prone to the opposite

5. this rapid and common changing of internal body temperature also tends to weaken their immune systems

6. the lingering surplus of energy is also more easy to manipulate than the stored energy, so while it lingers, it has a tendency to be easily influenced by the user’s emotions. 

7. yes this means accidentally freezing and setting things on fire during emotional extremes, or more subtle effects for those that are less extreme

8. in dragonspine, Cyro users are actually weaker but healthier. The lack of heat to cycle through their vision and body means less cryo energy is created, but less heat is there to build up in their bodies

9. Pyro users on the other hand- are in real big danger, unless they made sure to have large amounts of elemental energy before hand. They take longer at the torches they like because they need every bit of heat to raise their naturally low temperature and to make more pyro energy to both light the next torch, and to constantly have enough surplus that it doesn’t just steadily drain all the pyro they have. 

10. a lot of the pyro users are overly energetic and active and move around alot, which is known to raise body temperature, and whould help with this, then there’s hu tao who while energetic is not all that active, but i think her job of “guarding the border” makes her more tolerant of the low body temperature. similar to yanfei’s constitution as an adeptus. Bennet is energetic but doesn’t move around quite as much and all, but... his luck is bad enough that he just thinks everyone feels like/has to deal with that. and Diluc- we’ve all seen the fluffy jacket. Klee constantly setting grass on fire and otherwise being hyper. Amber, gliding champion of mondstad, “i feel like running” Amber. Yoimiya is pretty active and works around fire. I dont have Xinyan so i dont know for sure in her case but i assume it fits the bill. 

11. as for cryo characters- Qiqi is a zombie and Ganyu is half adeptus, different constitution. A lot of the characters are or try to be more calm and level headed, known for being kind of “slackers” to use kaeya’s words, though by this i mean they dont do excessive physical activity outside of training and that which is necessary. Diona is a bartender, often staying in one place, the opposite of pyro, keeping her body temperature down. Ayaka rarely leaves the kamisato estate. Chongyun is complicated- more on him later. Rosaria known for shirking her church duties and being basically lazy, the same as Kaeya. And Eula- i actually dont have an explanation- maybe just... the training to endure- like that one test where you have to walk through dragonspine all fancy without being thrown off. 

now as for Chongyun

him with his popsicles and yang energy, needing to maintain a cool body temperature at all times as a result of his constitution 

i mentioned a failsafe of visions, where should their users’ body temperature lean to dangerously to any one extreme, the vision will begin releasing the stored elemental energy early.

Chongyun’s however doesn’t store energy at all, instead immediately expelling all cryo energy it makes as soon as it forms so it can immediately absorb any dangerous body heat that Chongyun was exposed to in it’s making. This means that the surplus energy(the type more likely to be accidentally manipulated by emotions) around Chongyun is more than most other cryo users would have.

however, the balance is really fragile because his temperature is kept from getting out of hand almost entirely by his vision so external factors are extremely dangerous, as there is a still a cooldown between the transfer of heat the release of cryo energy- so unexpected sources of heat can cause a rapid rise in already fragile temperature that runs its course and wreaks havoc on the childe before the cryo energy is able to balance it out- and the problem is- with the surplus being easily manipulated by emotions, the sudden rise in temperature has a tendency to activate it, using it up and leaving him without a source of temperature regulation, which only worsens the problem. at which point the vision probably begins storing cryo energy until theres enough built up to reset his body temperature in one go- which usually ends with him passed out.

anyways i had a lot more planned to write but if i kept going i fear how long it’d get- i just think it has potential to evolve into a lot of cool things and theories for how the world works, and reflect the archons..... let me explain that-

so assuming anemo energy is created bey absorbing and then renewing the oxygen in the user’s blood, as opposed to dangerous body temperatures, it tends to have an anemic affect on their wielders, hence why all the anemo vision users have this tired air to them, Xiao’s... Xiao-ness- he just looks exhausted, Jean’s constant exhaustion that totally isnt made any better by her workload, Kazuha’s general calm relaxed disposition, and sucrose’s general demeanor- idk i just think anemo vision wielders give off anemic vibes, until they have enough surplus for the taken oxygen to replenish

except for venti- who doesn’t actually use a vision, who is literally a wind sprite, made of air- always running around and being all energetic- because he doesn’t face these problems- if anything he has extra energy and air to use. He’s basically the opposite. (windrise may have some weight in this-)

which means other archons may model this-

im not sure about geo but with electro

assuming that the constant transfer of electricity through the user’s body would eventually have a frying effect that shortens their lifespan over time(an idea largely inspired by Lisa’s voice line on visions and other theories on it) then Baal’s steady eternity serves as another opposite to this and yet pursuing eternity it becomes odd that she would give visions at all, so i feel archons must get some benefit from giving visions or she wouldn’t have done it-

but anyways imma stop now- hopefully someone found this interesting and runs with it, but if not it makes sense too

... actually geo might have something to do with an erosion-like metaphor, similar to what was brought up in the azdaha fight

still thinking about hydro tho, and im not even gonna bother with dendro

....

..... can you tell that I kin Sucrose and Albedo yet? It’s not even funny istg it’s becoming a problem .... actually scratch that i have a dark sense of humor, its kinda pretty funny

[mostlikelyshutup]

thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

[gaillol-13]

ITTHIGSS AU

Cartoon encounter.

Part 3 of this (part 2) Swear warning!

*sigh* "it just doesn't make any sense!"

I've been trying to figure out who that guy is for a while now, ever since I got home from the interview today. It just seemed like something out of a horror film, I don't understand. And they sounded so much like...no. I sat down for a moment to look at the pictures I took, and tried to recall what happened in the room with the tv (and the closet).

"Ok, so blood was coming out of the Tv," I spoke "I heard the killer walking towards me, with their arms out to grab me. They're voice sounded static-like, they were humming the Captoon's theme song. And then one of the police officers went in the room, the humming stopped, I looked in the closet but they were gone...they..."

I sighed.

"They sounded so much like Benjamin, like, identical, the only difference is the static. But, he's been dead for almost a year now, it just doesn't make any sense..."

"Beb-beeep, beb-beeeeep!!! Movement detected!!!"

What?! Theres someone trying to get in the house? I immediately check the security cameras but find no one there. The only evidence is the broken steel doors and a note, I zoomed in on it to get a closer look at what it said, I turned pale.

"Bonjournie~ Mr.Melvin :)"

That's what the note said, and the paper had the same static texture as the hammer piece I had.

The same person who killed those criminals is here, and I'm next.

"MOTHER FUCKER!!!" I screamed, "Why? Why me?! Why is this guy targeting me?! Of course, its because I know too much, I should have just kept quiet, I should have just said they committed suicide, that would have made more sense than a cannibalistic cartoon-loving prick by slaughtering them with nooses and a fucking rubber hammer!!! But noooo! I have to open my big mouth and now this fucker's gonna kill me!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!!"

I tried my best to calm down, it's not easy to think if I'm going into my dinosaur brain. Okay, everything is going to be fine, he must have a weakness, everybody has one. I have lots of inventions that could be good in the situation I'm in, I just gotta think of a plan. Think Melvin think, if I were a cannibal who loves captoon, what would be my weakness?

Hmm... I looked around my room, I spotted one a bottle of paint thinner, huh. I saw this in a game once, thinner can dissolve paint, which is what cartoon characters are made out of. I thought for a moment.

He likes the Captoon cartoon, and George and Harold made that cartoon. So if I'm gonna get this guy, (I cant believe I'm about to say this) I gotta think like George and harold.

Aww hell with it!

I grabbed the thinner bottle and loaded it in a spray gun, its ridiculous, but it's my best shot. And who knows, maybe some of the robot guards took care of him already.

*THUD!!*

"OW! @%#$!!!!"

What was that?! I mean, it was obviously a cry out in pain coming from downstairs (the living room to be exact), but AFTER it sounded like a beeping sound butchered by radio static. But that didn't matter now, the fact is that this guy is in my house, I have a plan (sort of), and I'm ready for whatever is down there.

I grabbed my flashlight and slowly made my way downstairs, he could be anywhere. I turned the lights in the hallway on, no one was there though. I looked in the kitchen, as expected, the fridge was open and most of the food in there was gone, and all of the leftover guac had vanished (THAT really caused a shiver to go down my spine). When I got close to the living room, I heard a noise, or more specifically, music.

I went in the living room to find the TV playing the Captoon theme song, huh. Guess I was right about him liking that, I grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.

T h e m u s i c d i d n ' t s t o p .

Almost paralyzed with fear, I pressed the off button again, still playing, pressed it again, still going. No matter how many times I pressed it, the music kept playing. It only took me one second to realize the music was coming from behind me...along with that same feeling I had back at the abandoned school...

Oh no...

Before I could turn around, I felt something wrap around me, I looked down, I saw an arm.

Yeah, that's right, an arm was wrapping around my torso. How did I know it was an arm, at the end of it there was a gloved hand, gloved...it sorta gave me rubberhose cartoon vibes. Come to think of it, the arm was fully white like a rubberhose, I would have thought about it more I wasn't in peril.

"AAA-MMF!!!" I tried to scream, but the hand covered my mouth in an instant. The arm was fully wrapped around me now, only leaving my head uncovered.

I kicked and squirmed around trying to escape, no dice. The arm slowly turned me around, I soon realized that the arm was waaayyy longer than I previously thought. It stretched all the way to the far side of the hallway where there was nothing but darkness, nothing except...two...eyes...staring at me.

These weren't normal dot eyes, hohooohh nooo! These had the pupils and the sclera!!! And they were huge!! Who was this guy? No, scratch that. WHAT was this guy?! Forgive me for being Captain Obvious here, but there no fucking way this...thing is human!!

He was walking towards me, I squeezed my eyes shut, shit, I'm fucked. I'm going to be food, I could already see the headlines. "Class S Melvin sneedly (aka the smartest and sexiest man alive) becomes human Foie Gras to rubberhose monster". This is my end!!!

Then he (or it, I don't even know anymore) spoke.

"Shhhh, calm down."

What? Calm down?! I opened my eyes, he was still walking towards me, his eyes still the only things I could see. They looked...guilty.

"I know your scared right now." He continued

"Mmff mfm mff!!" I muffled sarcastically, it roughly translated to "NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!", and he knew it. As he became more and more visible, I froze.

The clothes...

The body figure...

The toupee...

He was a spitting image of Benjamin, except the eyes I mentioned earlier (which now revealed that he had pie-slice pupils). And there was no color, only shades of white (his skin), grey, and black...I was filled with shock...which then shifted to seething anger.

What right does this asshole have to impersonate MY boss?! NONE!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! I kicked at him furiously while delivering muffled screeching. Who the hell does he think he is?!

"Melvin please calm down-OW!"

I bit his gloved hand, he's NOT gonna tell me what to do.

"DONT "MELVIN" ME!!" I screamed "YOU CANT JUST WALTZ IN HERE THINKING I'LL LISTEN TO YOU, ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CRIMINALS YOU VILE POMPOUS CANNIBALISTIC PRICK!!! WHO ARE YOU?! WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE?! WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE BENJAMIN?! AND WHATS YOU LAST MEAL REQUEST CUZ OOOOOHHH DEAR SWEET DAV PILKEY AM I GONNA REPORT YOUR ASS!!!"

He gave gave me a look that was a combination of surprise, pity, scared, and impressed.

"Gosh," I heard him mutter under his static breath "that last bit kinda rhymed..".

How is this happening, when did I become prisoner of a cartoon monstrosity. Why, how. This doesn't-...then it clicked.

"This is a dream."

"Wha?"

It's the only reasonable explanation.

"This isnt real, of course. What was I thinking."

I breathe the sigh of relief, phew.

"Why else would you look like Benjamin, it's obvious my subconscious is missing him, and the reason why your a cartoon is because I've been watching captoon too much. And why are you after me? Because it's just my subconscious being guilty of Benjamin's death, like I felt responsible, like I was supposed to be there with him when it happened. It all makes sense!!"

The behemoth rolled his eyes, but that didn't matter. What matters is that this isnt real, it's just a horrible nightmare. I dont know when I fell asleep (probably when I passed out stress-eating all those croissants at the interview), but either way I'm glad that it will be over---

"OW!!!"

I felt something sharp jab me in the arm, I looked to see his gloved hand, only a little different. The pointer finger was longer and the tip was pointy, sorta like and overgrown fingernail. Either way, it hurt, and he was still there, this wasn't a dream, it was real life.

"Real enough for ya?" All I could do was nod as I watched the finger retract and return to its proper form and shape, then I heard him sigh.

"Look, they're going to search the abandoned school so I need a place to stay-" I cut him off. "Give me ONE good reason why I shouldn't call the authorities."

"Cuz they would never believe you."

I opened my mouth to protest, but then i thought for a moment. He was right, they wouldn't. There was a saying in the book Our Lord Dav, where he quoted "people can be too smart for their own good" which ment if someone was too smart, they would become insane. The police might think just that if I tell them theres a living cartoon in my house.

"Please," I looked back up at him. Seeing his sad, pleading face. "I just need to hide hear for a bit, just a lil bit. I know I'm the last guy you wanna trust right now, especially after last night. But...*sigh*... I REALLY need your help...just let me stay."

I was speechless, I was starting to doubt that this was the same person that killed those criminals. His expression seemed so...bonafide. Pupils dilated to a sorrow filled manner, lips trembling, it felt like the equivalent of looking at a sad puppy. But...how do I know I should trust him.

"Your not gonna kill me?"

"Of course not!!!" He protested, by now the arm he had wrapped around me was retracted back to him, but I really wasn't paying attention. "I'm not a monster!!!"

Not a monster? My eyes narrowed.

He then rubbed the back of his head, chuckling nervously, "I guess I am if you define a monster as a creature that defies the laws of physics and nature, heh. But I'm talking about one that's heartless, ruthless, and selfish."

His eyes then darted away and his face suddenly became sour. His tone changed completely.

"Like the @*#%$, Theodore..."

Theres only one person I know who could sound and act like that when the subject was Ted murdsly...

I threw myself at him in an embrace, eyes filled with tears...

"You are Benjamin..."

I was both in shock and joy. I couldn't believe my boss was alive...I started sobbing.

"I miss you so much..."

I felt him hug me back.

"Heh, miss ya too Mel. It's been very lonely, even with him around, it's nice to see an old friend again..."

I started crying into his shoulder, I was so relieved. For one, I now know that I'm not gonna be dinner. Two, the others will be thrilled to hear that their favorite grumpy boss is back (especially her. If you catch my drift). But I thought for a moment...

"What do you mean by "even with him around"?"

He then lead me to a chair, "sit down, and let me tell you how I'm alive."

So he told me...and dear dav is it a doozy.

So after Benjamin died, George and harold were starting the Captoon cartoons, they had the help of dressy. But in the making of the first tape reel of season 1, dressy sprinkled some dust on it, making Captoon sentient. Then the boys took it to Benjamin's gravestone, and placed it there. Then lightning struck the tape and it started to melt, along with the world in it.

In major pain, Captoon got out of the tape and into Benjamin's corpse, sort of merging with it. Another lightning struck the same spot again. And since dead people come back to life when they get zapped with electricity in cartoons, thats exactly what happened to Benjamin.

He wakes up, they meet, he tells him how he died (turns out it wasn't an accident), and Captoon gets an idea. Since he needs a physical body to stay in (cuz otherwise he would melt and die), and Benjamin needs Captoon's cartoon physiques to stay alive, they become one. Becoming Krupptoon.

It finally made sense now.

"So now you know." Krupptoon said, then grabbed a nearby glass and drunk from it. Then he noticed my mind-blown expression.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just...alot to take in. Does that mean your dead body is still in you?"

"Uh-huh, wanna see?"

Intrigued, I nodded, after what I saw last night, this wont really effect me. Then his head began to shift, the white static-like skin seemed to dissolve. Revealing a pale, bloody, and very very dead head.

The left side (his left side) of the head had the skull smashed open showing that parts of the brain were missing, and pretty much almost all of the left side (again, his left) of the head looked like it was demolished from impact.

His eye (on his right) looked lifeless, yet it had a distinct green glow, don't know why. Oh yeah, and it smelled, it smelled repulsive.

I felt the urge to puke which he immediately took notice of and grabbed a nearby bucket, then he gave it to me.

5 minutes and 43 seconds of vomiting later... I looked at him for a closer inspection.

"Hmm, it seems only the left side is affected."

He then reached into his pocket, pulled out a magnifying glass and handed it to me. I then used it.

"Your frontal lobe is severely injured, that would explain why you only move in rubberhose, your Broca's Area seems fine. Same with the Sensory area and Parietal lobe. Your Temporal lobe looks pretty damaged..."

I went quiet...

"Whats wrong?" He said that with his decayed mouth barely moving.

It took me a while to try to get the words out.

"T-thats the lobe that contains memories. Benjamin...do you remember anything?"

His face fell, "Oh,". He then put his hand on his chin, "Well, I remember you, and George and harold. Ted (though I wish I didn't), my identity, how I died...". He then plopped down on the ground, his face returning to its cartoony appearance. Trying to recall, then his eyes lit up. "I...remember Edith..."

And boy what happened next was quite a site. His hand dropped to the side, a shade of gray crept up his face, hearts started floating around him, and I swear I could hear a romantic saxophone playing. I covered my mouth to stop myself from laughing.

"What?" He turned his attention to me, I simply pointed upwards at the hearts floating around. His eyes went wide and he made a noise that can only be defined as a startled dog and immediately started shooing them away with his arms, his face now flashing dark grey and white in embarrassment.

"I-ITS NOT LIKE THAT!!" He yelped in a panicked tone, but I knew otherwise.

"Oh suuuuure~!" I said playfully, "Its not like you visit her in the lunchroom every day,or that you give her extra credit, or that you try to make her food everyday!"

With every example I said, he got grayer and grayer. So I kept going.

"Or that you hide a bunch of gifts around her office, or that you're always happy when she's around 24/7, or that you secretly write about how much you want to be with her forever in your journal!"

"HOW DID YOU GET MY JOURNAL?!?!" He started shrieking and becoming a charcoal grey, sweating, and flustered mess. And it was hilarious! And it lasted a good 5 minutes.

"Joking aside, you REALLY don't remember anything else, like your job?"

"I have a job?" He cocked his head and gave me a confused look.

"Nevermind." I decided it was nothing to worry about now, so I quickly dismissed that subject. Then I heard him sigh again.

"The main reason I came here is for your help, your help to kill crime."

I was confused, "why would you need my help, you have the ability to do it on your own."

He gave me a classic Captoon smile, "Because it's like I said in the cartoons" he stood up and did the pose, "it's more fun to bring justice with friends!". He then pulled me up off the chair and put his gloved hands on my shoulders.

"You, me, George and harold, and the others can stop evil in its tracks! Sure, I could do it alone. But what the heck is living if you don't do it with your chums! Buds! Home slices! Homies! Pals! Bros! ETC!!!"

Honestly, I was very moved. I usually dont get touched, but...I haven't felt like I had friends, at all (I always felt so alone). And the fact that my boss (who's also Captoon himself) considers me as a good friend is enough to make me emotional.

"So Melvin Sneedly!!! Are you gonna join this crazy but exciting ride of adventure and mystery with me?!"

"Y-YES!!!" My voice cracked a bit, but that didn't matter now.

"ALRIGHTY!!! THEN WE'LL START TOMORROW!!! BECAUSE IM TIRED!!"

Man, he said that Captoon only moved their body, but THAT moment had to disagree. I sas honestly thrilled to start working with a superhero...but then the moment took a different direction when he gave me a smug look.

"Now what did you mean by you watching that Captoon cartoon too much?"

"Now wait just a minute-"

He then laughed and patted me on the back "ight, see ya tomorrow."

I headed towards upstairs to my room "goodnight."

I didn't know what I was getting into, but whatever it was, for once I'm ready for anything!!!

End of fic

Whooooo! That took a while, but it was worth it. Now with the introductions out of the way, I can finally make some memes!

[trixiesouphanes]

Okay so this isnt a cool quote just the really fucked up dream I just had

So I was in the pool alone after browsing instagram all day and I was thinking about this one account that just posted a bunch of absolutely beutiful pictures and I was sad cuz I might be only to be that pretty if I had as good as a photographer/camera as them

So I went to the pool and for some reason it was night and there were a lot of other people there trying to figure out the puzzle answer for a door and I couldnt figure it out either

The next day I hopped back in the pool and there was no one there at like a really pretty sunset and at the time I was thinking about the pretty pictures on instagram I just had my arms on the side of the pool and my head down staring at the sunset

I decided to go inside when I catch a glimpse of a dude and for the stupidest reason looked like Vance waggoner but like the bojack horseman version... yeah

But also this other lady about the same age holding like a tablet I think? There were both smiling crazy as hell so I just rushed inside

I didnt think much of it thinking they were just playing a game and then it skipped to the next day, I went back in the pool

I was still alone, just kinda chillin and swimming around, then I wanted to back inside again cuz it was sunset again. But i turned to get out and my top had unhooked itself. Outside of dreams, my pool is in my backyard, surrounded by a million trees, so no one would see me put it back on

I was walking towards the stairs and i didnt realize that 'they' were still out but I was putting them back in so I didnt matter

But as soon as I started walking towards the stairs I see the man and the woman, both staring at me with these horrible smiles. The dude is behind the woman, and the woman is behind the tablet she was holding, a large tablet but somehow I knew that the camera was open. I tried to jump so I could swim away but I was too late...

I heard the sound of a camera starting to record and my jumping did not help me, I tried to say something like "IM TEN" to get them to stop or at least get the video taken down from wherever they post it, but they had stopped the recording by time I did, and they started running as fast, as fast as they could away from me and I just stood in the pool and cried.

I went back inside and who was waiting for me there? The man and the woman. In the dream my parents werent home, late shifts I think

They started trying to lecture me about how pretty I actually looked and I might feel ugly but the problem is the camera all the time

I cant rememeber word for word what they said except for this one quote I cant get out of my mind,

"You think you need a lot of makeup, but you've got it. We took this in the pool and you looked stunning anyway" and then he took the tablet and showed me the picture they took from the first day of being alone in the pool

The lighting, the aura, the angle, and just the general sound of the image was all amazing. For once, *I* was amazing. I didnt want to but they had started to change my mind slightly. I was sitting on the poolside with my head on my arms staring at the sunset with long, beautiful, wavy hair stretching out in all directions behind me.

And then, they showed me the short video

I had jumped at the second I saw the guy take a screenshot of me, my tits were perked up but you couldnt see the look of horror creep onto my face yet

And for the most horrible reason, they were out, up, and I had looked so... grown. From behind me the sunset had not only pretty colours but also did that thing where the sun had those pretty shapes from a line that always happens in movies

I hated it. I hated how much I loved it. It was so pretty, *I* was so pretty and I was exposed. At a shot, I tried to take the tablet from him but he was too fast and ran off, driving away.

I then turned to the woman. She told me her name was sherry, so at least that was good to know, I checked my phone after getting a notification of them posting something and I checked

It was me, the first picture was my long hair out, and the second made me cry.

I saw hundereds, if not, THOUSANDS of comments of people telling eachother my age, my school, my address, and worst of all, my profile

In seconds to minutes, I immediately started getting spammed with dms telling me how pretty I was, and that they wanted to see more, others telling me I was a slut, more telling me if I wanted to do "photography" with them...

I was sobbing. I had how real it all seemed. Then for some reason I wasnt in the same house anymore. I was upstairs looking down at a staircase and I saw the woman

I pushed her, obviously, she was threatining me with a taser if I said anything to anyone. So I pushed her

I took the cord she had the laser powered with and ripped it apart, and then started smashing glass on her wherever I could find it.

She was knocked out by now, and I ran and sat down screaming about why I had done this, and why this was happening

And in that moment of absolute helplessness, that desperation for something to stop going wrong, something to stop it, I rememebered theres a landline in the house

Ya know brain, I couldve gotten a dm from someone saying how they knew this was all something horrible happening, and that they wanted to help me. That would have been something really nice, brain. But no, you had to make me fill up with white hot rage and stomp to the landline phone

(This is where it gets worse)

I saw the woman was up and she was going to tell people that j was insane and was going to check me into a mental institution so no one could fight against her

I was trying to call 911 but I kept not getting the numbers right, because dreams suck like that. While I was doing this, she too, was calling the cops

I finally got the numbers right and waited for them to pick up but I heard nothing. It rang and rang for what felt like at least two whole minutes but... *nothing*

That's what did it. That's what made me feel like my life was over and I was going to throw up. Nit the picture, that would somehow eventually go away. But a mental institution? I would never get out to live

Then I heard sirens, and i wanted to destroy her

So I got up and grabbed everything I could to knock her unconscious again, and whatever didnt it still felt a little good to beat the shit out if her

I went outside and for some reason, dream reasons probably, the cops werent there anymore, it was my mom

It was dark as hell outside, and I had forgotten about how I was still wearing my swimsuit. My mom was trying to be angry, thinking that I had been swimming at dark, then she saw me crying and covered in bruises and broken glass.

I told her that sherry was still inside after showing people porn of me, "bastards"

I watched my mom call the police and when we both went inside, the Vance guy was there looking at what had happened to his partner

My mom tore him to shreds with screaming, and I could see he was about to start running, so I slowly creeped back outside and was going to grab him from the side door

I heard his footsteps going fast so I quickly opened up the door and grabbed him, threw him to the ground, and bit his neck. With my jaw chomped down, I jumped up, with a gory mess surrounding me

The police arrived and while I was thinking about how I was going to say something like "temporary insanity" in court, I woke up

Like I said, that dm could have saved me. If you see this happeneing, just tell them that its *okay* that everything is going to get better, that their life isnt over.

But I'm awake now, no swimsuit, no glass in my arms, not a slice of someone's jugular clamped down with blood filling my cheeks

Just a few tears and the hate for my brain

[caruliaa]

in sorry if this doesn't make any sense but like i feel asleep at 5 am last night and woke up a 9 am and am now in that weird state you when ur tired but also suddenly you just realise stuff and like

love or literally the core of humanity, of every person on earth

like theres is so many forms of love in this world, theres the love that you have for your friends or your significant other, or you family, blood or not, you have love for their kindness, their sense of humour, the way that just seeing their face irl or profile pic online brings you joy, for the way they talk about their passion, and for the way they listen to you talk about yours, for the way that they can turn a terrible day into a wonderful ones and for the (before covid guys, social distance!!) huge hug or smile you give them when you finally meet them again after being separated or the way you get filled with extiment and joy when theyre finally back online after going on holiday or after theyre no longer grounded, the way you can talk to them about your love for others to them, and they can to you, and in a way it just cements your love for each other more. and like i know this probably not gonna maje sence to a lot of ppl bc im single and i dont have the best relationship with my family so this is just about me friends but i think regardless of if its platonic famililall or romantic there are just some people that you have so much love for that it fills your heart up with joy.

but the thing is that there are other little forms of love that you have for so many people, people you dont even know, the you aren't mutuals with but you still always reblog their posts, or even the ones you are mutuals with that youve never really talked to or have only taljed to a few times and yet you still have so much love for them and feel like you're friends without even saying it. or for the person whos haircolour you complimented in the shops once, or the love you have for the sweet excited dog you neet on a walk whose owner lets you pet, or the authors of those fanfics that can make you entire day, and might bring you a step closer to loving and excepting yourself in some cases, who make your day with their stories and whose days you make eith your comments . like there are jost so many little bits of love between relative strangers in the world and even though you only talk to them once or twice just little forms of joy you bring to them and they bring to you just makes the world a bright place and i think thats beautiful

and honestly i think one of the most underappreciated forms of love out their is the love ppl have for their passions and hobbies and interests. the way ppl can have such a love for doing something and an interest in it that they learn how to master it. the way that people can have real love for people that never existed, that you can care so much for little aspects of strangers and traits nade of fiction on the form a fictional character and world. and all the little ways this ties into other types of love to, the way that someone can make something and parts of it can connect so deeply eith your core that you can almost here ther voice saying "you're not alone on those feelings" the way that passion over hobbies and media can bring people together and be the cause of friendships that last years.

just, i know obviously there are so many problems in this world, and it isnt exactly the best place really ever but i think just like every person has some love within them and that just makes the world a little bit less shitty

[jackandmarksavedme88]

The Magic of Love

"Anna!" Marvin called out "Kacey and Caleb are here!" Marvin walked to the door and opened it as his girlfriend Anna bounded down the steps. "Marvin!" Anna's sister Kacey exclaimed as she walked inside. She gave him a hug and then her sister. Her boyfriend Caleb shook Marvin's hand and they all sat on the couch. "Soooo are yall ready for tonight? I cant wait for the pictures im going to get out of this" Kacey said, a glint in her dark green eyes She had talked Anna, Marvin and Caleb into going to their city's cemetery after dark. She wanted to shoot some pictures, and, Marvin knew, see if she could catch something paranormal. Anna thought it was weird, but agreed to go because Marvin wanted to. Caleb tagged along because he was the jealous type...They all walked outside to Kaceys truck and climbed in, laughing and chatting as she took off. ******* "Oh come on An!" Kacey teased "You cant seriously go back to the truck already! We have been here thirty minutes tops!" "I dont care K! I am majorly creeped out and hearing creepy shit isnt helping!' Anna whined. "But i need Marvin for these shots!" Kacey said, annoyed at her sister. They were only 14 months apart and were at times best friends. Except for two years ago when Anna and Marvin began dating....... all the times she told Anna she wanted to make a move on Marvin, only for Anna to do it first..... But Marvin was happy and thats all that mattered to Kacey. She looked over at Caleb, who stood against a tree. "Babe. Do you want any pictures done?" He looked her way, brown eyes staring intently at her and then Marvin. "No. Not really.... If you want i could walk her back to the truck" "Are you sure babe? I just want to get a few more shots of him with the fire and stuff. The colors look amazing right now!" She and Caleb had been dating a year. Sometimes she got the feeling he didnt like Marvin, no matter how many times she told him there was nothing to worry about. He was just her best friend and sisters boyfriend. But hed softened in the last few months. He smiled and walked over and kissed her head "Yes darlin. Im sure. Ill take her back over there and sit with her. Maybe she will want to come back in a little bit" Kacey smiled at him. "Thank you so much!" She went to her tiotoes and kissed him again, then turned to Anna "Ill be done in just a bit. Promise" she hugged her sister 'then we will get out of here. Nothing is gonna hurt you" she teased. Marvin walked over "well duh. Id hurt it worse" he said as he kissed Anna's head. "We'll get ice cream after this babe, ok?" Anna smiled at him. "Ok hon. I love you" she kissed Marvin and then she and Caleb started for the truck. Kacey smiled at Marvin and he walked back over to the old gravestones. "So. Shall i pose like...this" he grinned cheekily and posed with his butt stuck out and a finger to his lips Kacey laughed out loud "oh yeah. That's it. This is the REAL magic" she raised her camera and snapped a picture before Marvin almost collapsed into giggles "Okay. Okay" Kacey said breathlessly "Lets actually finish this" Marvin grinned "good to see i can still make you laugh that way. I was afraid you had forgotten how' Kacey cocked an eyebrow at him "What do you mean?" Marvin looked at her, a serious expression on his face "i dont know. It just seems like since you got with Caleb and i got with Anna, we dont hang as much. We dont....i dont know" Kacey knew what he meant. She and Marvin had been attached at the hip before Anna. More often than not, youd find Kacey asleep on the Septic boys couch. Marvin had been through everything with Kacey. "Well. When youre dating my sister its a little off to just invite myself over like i used to" Kacey laughed. "We are just older" Marvin looked down "yeah. Just...dont forget me. Ok kid? Its not illegal for you to still be my best friend and at least text me" Kacey smiled "ok. Im sorry. I just didnt want Anna or Caleb getting the wrong idea..... How about in a couple of days when Anna works i will come over and we can have lunch and hang out until she gets off?" Marvin's smiled returned "Ok! Ive got a couple of new scary movies we can watch! She doesnt like them, and its no fun watching them alone" Kacey grinned "Deal...now let me get some shots of you" Marvin smiled and produced green flames in both hands "okay. Go ahead" *************** At the truck, Anna and Caleb were talking about life, and Kacey while listening to the radio "So, Marvin and her have always been close?" Cakeb asked "Oh yeah. They were attached at the hip! Shes close with the other guys too. But her and Marvin have that kind of friendship where they can have a whole conversation based of facial expressions." Anna laughed. "You dont ever....worry about how close they are?" Chase asked quietly Anna looked at him for a moment and then shook her head. "No. I mean, i trust that she wouldnt want to hurt me and he wouldnt either" "And if he was with someone else, wold you tell them to worry?" Anna thought on his question and answered slowly "Well....i dont know. I mean... Kacey and Marvin are hard to explain....." She sighed "To tell the truth. Yeah. If he was with anyone that wasnt me, id tell them to worry. Not that they would fall together out of spite.... I think it wouldve happened organically... If you and I hadnt come along" she laughed "When we were younger, like early 20s, the boys would call her their sister-in-law and our mom would call Marvin son-in-law..... The expression on their face when it was *me* that he started dating was priceless". Caleb was quiet for a long time and Anna patted his shoulder "You have nothing to worry about. Im not going anywhere and neither are you." "Yeah. I guess" Caleb grumbled.... Its just that.... He stopped suddenly. "What is that noise?" There was a crackling coming over the radio. Anna frowned and tried changing stations, but it just continued. "What the hell-" she shrieked as the headlights cut on and illuminated a man standing there. Green eyes glowing. Caleb strained his eyes to see the mans face "Who the hell is that???" The man raised his head, an evil grin plastered on his face. Anna knew who it was. She had seen him all of two times ever, and both times one of the guys ended up hurt. "Anti! What the hell-" 'Who is Anti!?" Caleb yelled "Its....hard to explain. Hes.... Well. Hes a glitch demon" He stared at her as if shed grown three heads " What the fuck do you mean by demon???' She swung her head around 'Well theres not a whole lot i could fucking mean Caleb!' She tried the door but the electric locks were stuck fast "Damnit!" She pulled her cellphone out, but there was no signal. In a last ditch effort she reached over and began honking the horn Anti glitched to the side of the car before they could blink. Kitchen knife glinting in the moonlight. He opened the drivers door. Caleb shrinking back into the back seat and Anna in the passenger "Ah. Anna... Good to see you sweet" 'Anti. What the fuck do you want?!?!" He giggled his staticy laugh "oh anna. I just want your little boyfriend to suffer" he smiled a sharp grin. "Now...come here!" A red string shot from nowhere and wrapped around Anna's wrist Caleb went to jump to the front when Antis knife sank through his stomach. Then a few more times for good measure "Ah ah ah. Now now. Look what you made me do Caleb boy.... Shame. I liked this interior" Annas eyes widened in horror and the scream that had been lodged in her throat came loose as he pulled the knife out and Calebs blood sprayed across her and the truck. As he slumped to the floorboard Anti grabbed Anna again ******* Kacey and Marvin had begun walking when they heard the horn. They were at the bottom of the hill and couldnt see anything....as soon as they heard Anna scream they sprinted the last hill They saw the truck with the doors open, Anna was nowhere in sight. Kacey dropped her camera stuff to the ground and tried to get passed Marvin but he kept blocking the backseat view. He could see Caleb slumped to the floor "Marvin move!! Get out of my way. I need to look--" "Kacey! Stop!!!" "Marvin i need to find my sister!" Marvin screamed at Kacey "Shes not there damnit!" "Then what the hell are you block--" she stopoed as all color that had been left drained from her face. She begain shaking her head. "No...no no no. " She shoved Marvin hard enough that he fell to the ground and scrambled over him to the truck. She screamed as she saw caleb and she pulled him from the back floorboard on the the ground. She head his head and cried "Caleb! Baby!! Look at me!" He weakly blinked and shakily raised a hand to her face, blood smearing her cheek "Kay--... I...love you" Kacey cried "baby. I love you too. Dont talk like that. You'll be fine. We can get you to Henrik... Caleb???" He smiled weakly and then his hand dropped and the light went out in his eyes "Caleb?! CALEB' Kacey's screams tore through Marvin. Along with the fear for Anna. He was looking around for anything...any clue....and then he saw it.... A red string tied onto Calebs wrist "Anti" Marvin spat. Kaceys head shot up "you mean....Marvin that psycho has my sister!!!!" "Yeah. And i know where hes going too..." Marvin picked up a small card that had *Warehouse* written on it. He called Chase and Henrik, they started on their way to the cemetery. "I swear he will pay K" Marvin said, his eyes practically burning. He couldn't stand seeing her so broken. And he couldn't stand that he had Anna. He turned and began walking.. "Bullshit. Im gonna be the one to make him pay for Caleb" Kayce said. She kissed Calebs head and laid him down gently and stood up. She ran to catch up to Marvin "No. Kacey, this is dangerous' "Marvin. I dont care. Thats my sister!" She shot back. The look in her eyes he knew there was no arguing with her. He sighed "Promise me when we get there, you get Anna and get the fuck out. Ill text Jackie and he can meet us there. But you will not engage that sonofabitch, do you understand me?" He said authoritatively. "Anna would never forgive me if you got hurt, and id never forgive myself" Kacey glared at him and nodded "Fine. But if he hurts you i swear.." He stiffined "if he hurts me you will run and not look back. Got it?" Kacey glared at him and didn't answer. They began to walk the couple of miles to the abandoned warehouse ********* Anna screamed as the knife cut across her stomach. "Now now. Dont blow out your vocal chords. I want Marvy to hear you cry for him when he gets here" Anti cackeled. "You sonofabitch. Hes going to kill you" Anna spat out at him. Anti threw his head back and laughed. It made Annas skin crawl "Oh anna. No. He wont. There will be death tonight. But not mine. No no.... First im going to carve you in front of him. And if your sister wants to come along, maybe ill let him watch me kill her too..... Orrrr" he said sming evilly "I could wrap him in my strings and make *him* do the dirty work" Anti giggled Annas brain raced. 'Oh God, no. Marvin would lose his mind if he hurt one of us. Even if it wasn't his doing.' She thought "Now." Anti said, placing a rope around her mouth to gag her. "You stay here and be a good little girl, Ill make your death quick" He walked away and shut off the over head light, plunging her into darkness. ****** "There!" Marvin exckaimed as they came over a ridge. "Theres the warehouse" Kacey started to run and Marvin grabbed her, gripping both her shoulders and getting into her face "Kacey...i dont know whats going on in there... I dont know if Im going to come out of this unscathed. But i promise you will. I promised Anna a long time ago, way before we started dating that id take care of you. I intend to keep that promise. You hear me?" Marvin asked, tears in his eyes Kacey nodded her head, crying "Marvin dont you dare die on me. Do you hear me?' She shot back. "I need you....i always have" with that she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. "Eh hem." Thry both jumped and Jackie walked into view "So...are we gonna lovefest out here or go inside and kick that glitch bitch's ass?" Marvin nodded and began down the hill. Jackie stopped Kacey "Dont worry. Ill get him out of there. You and Anna just get to safety" she nodded and hugged the hero and they follwed Marvin down and to the door to the building Marvin slowly opened the door. The three of them stepped inside. Marvin searched the wall and found a row of switches. He flicked one and an overhead light began to burn slightly. In the dim light he could see Anna, tied to a table. He swore aloud as Kacey ran past him to her sister "Kacey! Stop!" She froze.... Suddenly aware of the static in the air. "Mar--marvin?" She whispered shakily "Just walk slowly back to us.Now!" She began stepping backwards and suddenly ran into a body. She turned and screamed as he grinned and grabbed her by the throat. Anna began thrashing on the table and Marvin and Jackie began to come towards them Anti spun and stood behind Kacey and placed the knife to her neck as he stared the magician and hero down 'Ah ah. Dont come any closer boys. I rather like Kacey. I wouldnt want to have to hurt her" Anti said "Anti. Let her and Anna go you asshole!" Marvin yelled "Cmon Anti. This isnt about them!" Jackie said, eyes wide in fear and anger. Kacey shook as tears ran down her face, the cold metal of the blade on her throat. "Now now Kacey girl" Anti purred into her ear "No need to shake and shiver. Its very simple. If Marvin agrees to give me control, you and your sister can go" Jackie's eyes widened "Anti. Let them go now! You know its not going to happen!!" Anti smiled at Marvin and Jackie "Oh? I mean. He swore to protect them. His allegiance for their lives! Thats my offer! Though. It is funny" he sneered and lowered his knife "If i didnt know any better id say the way your thoughts are racing, Kacey is the one youre in love with Kitty Cat. Isnt your girlfriend the one on the table?" Marvin glared at Anti as green flames formed in his hands "Shut up you freak" he spit "Kace! Down!" Kacey dropped to the floor as he shot his power at Anti, catching him off guard. As soon as it him him a bolt of blue exploded into his chest and threw him into the wall. Jackies eyes were blazing and he and Marvin were more than ready to fight Kacey scrambled to her sisters side as the boys began throwing their powers and punches when they got close enough. "An. Im gonna get you out of here. Ok?" Kacey pulled her pocket knife out and began to cut the rope. She got the gag out of her sisters mouth and then cut her arns and legs free. Anna sat up and Kacey hugged her "Im so sorry Anna" kacey cried "Kacey. You didnt do this..... Im so sorry about Caleb. He tried to save me" Anna said as tears rolled down her face The girls turned to watch the fight. Kacey searching for a way to get to the door. Suddenly Jackie was thrown into some barrels and was dazed. Anti started for the girls and Marvin grabbed him, electricity coursing through him as Anti tried to glitch away "Kayce. Take Anna and go!" "No! Marvin I-' "Kacey! You promised! Leave!!!" Kacey shook her head as tears fell and she pulled Anna off the table. They began to go for the door when they heard a sicking crack and laughter They turned slowly. Color draining as they saw Anti standing alone and Marvin halfway through the wall behind him, struggling to try and stand. "Now now girls." The glitch growled "Kitty boy didnt take my offer. Your turn" Kacey barely blinked and suddenly Anti was behind Anna. She tried to pull her away but Anti was stronger. "No!' Anna started to fight with Anti but he backhanded her to the floor. He began to stalk toward her when Kacey tackled him to the ground and started wailing on him, screaming like a banshee "You stupid asshole. Dont touch her! Don't touch my sister ever again. I swear ill kill you! For caleb! For Marvin! For Jackie!" Suddenly her world went black as anti shot a green bolt that hit her in the face *** She could hear her own heart beat. Everything was hazy. Like she was under water. She could see Marvin....he began running toward where Anna and Anti were...and then he went flying back. Jackie was cradling Kaceys head and shot a blue light at Anti, the glitch dodged it and sneered. Then he got a shocked look on his face and turned, a long cut on his arm. Anna had grabbed his knife and sliced him open. He glanced down at it and then growled at her "Dont you hurt Marvin anymore! Or Kacey! " Anna screamed. "You little bitch!" Anti growled. He grabbed his knife from her and backed her into a corner. Across the room Marvin was fircing himself up from a pile of rubble. A piece of rebar had pierced his shoulder. Not deep enough to go all the way through. But hed have to get out of here before losing too much blood. He stumbled up in time to see Anna cut Anti and Anti grab the knife. He saw his girlfriend being backed into a wall and knew what was coming "Anna! No!" He screamed as he ran. Knowing hed be too late. Knowing Jackie would be too late They both almost collided into each other as they raced for Anna. They reached that point a half a second too late. Anti plunged the knife deep into her stomach and twisted it as she screamed and glitched away, disappearing with a cackle. Marvin caught Anna as she fell. "Baby?! An!!?" She began to cough. Blood coming from her mouth 'Kace....Kacey ..wheres Kacey?" She whispered weakly Kacey crawled over to them. Screaming when she saw her sisters injuries and the blood coming from her mouth "Anna! No! No! You cant-!' "Marvin---you-you promised youd take care if her' Anna coughed weakly 'Dont forget that ok...ok?" "Anna. You and me both will. Dont talk like that" Marvin cried out. His heart breaking She smiled sadly. "Marvin. I love you..... Dont ever forget that.... I want you to be happy. When the time is right. Be as happy as you want. Dont be sad on my account babe..." "Anna! Stop talking like that! You are going to be fine. Youll be ok! " Kacey cried as. Jackie wrapped an arm around her She smiled at her sister as tears rolled down her cheek "and you- you take care of him for me....make sure hes happy.... I love you " she grabbed her hand She leaned her head into Marvins chest and began to shake "Im so cold baby" she whispered. Marvin clutched her and felt the life leave her "Anna?! Anna no!!!!!" He screamed, mixing in the air with Kaceys sobs ******************* It had been a year. One year that he started going to that damn grave to talk to her. One year that hed been occasionally sleeping in the graveyard. One year since he stood by Kacey as she buried her boyfriend and her sister in the same week. A year since hed buried his girlfriend. Marvin hadnt come out of that warehouse the same. He never used his magic anymore. He had begun to drink more. He rarely came outaide except at night But one thing he did do was keep an eye on Kacey. They all did After the ordeal the guys had moved her into the house. The nightmares were hell for them all at first until Henrik found the right medicine to give her. Marvin could still hear her screams sometimes. Tonight Henrik had worked late and Marvin had been laying in bed, his door opened and Kacey had walked in, shaking and crying Marvin sat up "Kace. You ok??" She shook her head "I was- i was waiting for Schneep because he had to get a refill of my meds but he got stuck at the hospital and-- i just couldn't keep myself awake and....and" she began to cry. Marvin jumped up and wrapped his arms around her and smoothed her hair "hey. Hey. Shhh. Its ok" he steered her toward his king sized bed "Cmon. Come lay down in here. You can sleep in here tonight. " She nodded and climbed into the bed. When Marvin lay down she scooted over and put her hand on his arm. Craving a human touch. All she could feel when she tried to sleep without the medicine these days was Anti.... Marvin smiled and slid and arm behind her head and pulled her into him. She lay her head on his chest and sighed. Feeling guilty for being this comfortable. Marvin ran his hand up and down her arm and talked to her about her books and movies. Anything to distract her thoughts. "Marvin?" She whispered "Yeah Kace?" "Thank you..... Youre the only one that can make me feel safe...and even though you hurt like i do..you never hesitate to make sure i know youre here' he wrapped and arm around him and hugged him and then yawned. "I love you..." Marvins heart jumped. How many times had she said that to him? Almost none since that night. "I-i love you too Kace. And im always here..ok?' She snuggled into him and was asleep in minutes. Marvins mind was racing. He had the urge to kiss her face. He knew shed freak out so he didnt. He was also freaking out. "What the hell are you doing man?' He thought to himself. "This is Kacey. Your best friend... Your girlfriends"..... He stopped his thought "No. Anna is gone....This is your best friend who has gone through hell and back with you. Don't fuck her up more" He glanced at Kaceys sleeping face. He brushed her hair back. Wondering if she was eating ok. Shed lost about 30 pounds this last year, but she didn't move around as much or go out as much, Marvin made a mental note to have Schneep do a workup on her in the morning and then drifted off holding her *********** Days passed. Kacey was sitting on the back porch. Chase cane outside and sat with her "Hey! How are you today?" He smiled at her "Im ok Chase. Actually i feel pretty good! " Chase laughed "you seem like youve been sleeping better!" Kacey blushed, not knowing that the boys knew shed been sleeping in Marvins room. They knew it was nothing. That it was just that it seemed to help more than the medicine but she was embarrassed Chase smiled teasingly "Yeah. Marv is pretty cozy to lay against. He gets really warm" Kacey smacked his arm "Shut up!" Chase laughed loudly and patted her shoulder "oh calm down. I get it. You feel safer. I know. Dont worry about it" Kacey leaned her head on Chase's shoulder "Chase....can i tell you something?" 'Kacey. You can tell me anything' he said seriously "Sometimes i think if all that hadnt happened... Id have kissed him by now...." She said quietly Chase wrapped an arm around her shoulder "Kacey..... Its been a year . No one would blame you if you admitted to him how you felt...how youve felt for these last few years. Everyone else knows it...hell even Anna-...." He trailed off "Even Anna knew if she wasnt in the picture youd be with him" he finished quietly and Kacey sighed "Yeah. But now its like...... Wrong" "Why? Because you love him. Because you want to see him happy again?" Chase asked "No...because when he looks at me, im afraid thats all he sees, is her" Kacey said "Kace....she was your half sister. She was blonde and had blue eyes and was tall. You are short with auburn hair and green eyes.....youre your own kind of person." She shook her head "Thats not what i mean. Ill say little things that she used to or make gestures that she did. And i never noticed it until Marvin would flinch when i would do it...." She said sadly. Chase turned to look her in the face "Look. All i know is. Anna asked you two to take care of one another. She loved you both and wouldn't want you two moping around. Neither would Caleb. Theyd want you two happy. Even if that meant with each other. You cant help who you love hon" Kacey swallowed hard and nodded. Chase patted her on the leg and looked at his watch 'welp. I gotta get outta here. Im meeting the kiddos at the movies. Ill see ya" and he bounded down the steps and began walking down the street. ***** That night Kacey lay in the living room. Determined to fight the urge to go to Marvin. She needed to grow up. Her phone buzzed with a text She grabbed it and seeing it was from Marvin opened it M: hey...are you mad at me? K:No....why would i be? M: Well youve avoided me all day and its two hours past your bedtime. Whats up? K: i just dont want to be a burden is all M: Cmere. Please? Kacey set her phone down and thought for a moment and decided to go talk to him. She grabbed the phone and walked up to the top floor and walked into his room "Whats up?" She said as she sat down on the bed Marvin was sitting in the chair at the desk behind the door and turned to look at her "Its just...ive gotten so used to you sleeping in here...i dont know" he said sheepishly "I just thought i was bothering you' Kacey said "No!" Marvin said quickly. "Kacey...i.... I havent slept that well until you started coming in here." He admitted. "Its nice having someone close" Kacey blushed "okay.... If youre sure" Marvin stood and walked over to her and crouched so he was eye level with her and out a hand on her leg "yeah.. Im sure. I like having you in here......" Kacey smiled at him and brushed his hair out of his face "o-okay...Ill stay Marvin" Her eyes caught his and her heart jumped. Had they always been that blue? He stared at her a long while and hesitantly leaned forward "Kacey I....." He put a hand on the side of her face Kaceys heart began to race and she leaned forward "Marvin...." When they kissed, Marvin saw fireworks. He always thought that was a cliche...but there it was. Her hand snaked behind his neck and she deepened the kiss, craving his closeness. She pulled him to her and she lay back on the bed, he laid by her and continued to kiss her, stroking her hair, planting kisses on her forehead and cheeks and then back to her lips. Finally they parted and he lay backwards. She rolled to his chest and buried her face "Marvin i...i didnt.... " Kacey stammered. Embarrassed at how she had kissed him him....at how she wanted more Marvin was breathing hard and rubbed her arm up and down before he spoke "Dont apologize. Dont you dare. We are both adults and youre not the only one that wanted that" he said. His voice husky. They lay there in each other's arms in the silence for a while. "Kacey?" "Yeah Marvin?" She looked up at him. He shifted so she was laying and he was propped on one arm 'Can...can i kiss you again?' He asked quietly Kacey swallowed hard and just nodded, then reached for him and wrapped her arm around his neck as he captured her mouth with his. Their need for each other growing more apparent and scaring the hell out of Marvin. He ran kisses down her neck and back to her lips. Craving her. He wrapped his arm under her head and lay on her gently, burying his face in the crook of her neck and kissed her as her hands gripped his hair and she whimpered, not knowing how to feel about how good the kisses felt. Her hands ran under his shirt and and he shivered at her touch. He leaned up and smiled as her and his hand crept under the hem of her shirt, Kaceys head leaning back at his touch. He kissed the hollow point at the front of her neck and then her lips as her hand found his and pushed his further upward. Ready to give all control over to the only man shed ever trusted to go this far. ************* Weeks passed. They never said anything in front of anyone, but every night Kacey was in his bed. And every night Marvin reminded her how much he needed her. It was midday and Marvin and Kacey were the only ones home. She was sitting on the counter as he cut vegatables. "Kacey...im tired of hiding this' he said suddenly She looked at him 'What do you mean?" He walked to her and stood between her knees and wrapped his arms around her waist, her arms wrapping around his shoulders "This. Us." He said seriously Kacey blinked and smiled at him "well. Youve never established an 'us'" It was true. They hadnt labeled it. He didnt call her his girlfriend "I-i mean.... If you want this to be an....us" he stammered She giggled "Marvin. Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend. Because you're floundering" Marvin blushed and took a breath "Im asking you to let me be yours. Let me love you the right way.. ." he said staring into her eyes. Kacey studied him for a moment "Thats the one thing ive always thought id never hear.....ive always wanted to though" she said quietly "Kacey...will you be mine?" Marvin asked. Kissing her nose She smiled at him "Marvin. Ive always been yours. I was just waiting for you to catch up" and with that she kissed him hard "Ehhh heee hemmmm" Chase cleared his throat, scaring the crap out of the both of them. Henrik and Jack stood with him and they all three burst into laughter. "God damnit you guys!!!" Marvin shouted and threw a dish towel at them. You werent supposed to be here for that! "Oh yeah. Like none if us know about yall" Jack said laughing "Please. You two couldnt be more obvious if you wrote it on your foreheads!" "Yeah. Marv. You dont hide lovesick very well" Chase said laughing "Nor de scratches that bleed through the back of your vite shirts Bruder...Kacey. Cut you nails before you give him an infection" Henrik said With that Jack and Chase collapsed on the floor, howling in laughter at Kaceys facial expression and the. She too began to giggle uncontrollably "Schneep you asshole" she sputtered through her laughter "Well-" Marvin said "At least i know they like you!" The five of them again laughed for a long time. And then Marvin walked back over and kissed Kacey on the mouth and smiled. "I love you" She smiled back,knowing she had found her place "i love you too"

[tumblunni]

Brainstorming about my yokai watch ocs: Dimmy and Gorgeous Ambassador, the most cutest family

* My Dimmy's name is Blythe and they are nonbinary. Gorgeous Ambassador is male and i dont have a name for him yet. I was thinking maybe try and make up a dub name for kageusuo (anime exclusive pre evolution) that sounds like it could have been his nickname as a human? Cos his story is that he used to be a wandering mercenary in ye olde ninja times, i feel like itd be fitting.

* Blythe is the main partner of my protagonist in my yokai watch lp, basically the jibanyan of the anime of my heart. Their personality is mostly similar to the Dimmy in the anime, but i feel like theyre maybe older and more powerful than the average Dimmy? Like a weak low evolution yokai thats stayed unevolved for centuries and is actually more skilled and world weary than you'd assume. Protag just got lucky that she bumped into this one super magikarp, lol! Also i like to draw them looking more teenage age by just taking the regular Dimmy design and making the tail extra super long. They stand roughly twice as tall as the protagonist and can wrap around her shoulders like a scarf :3 Blythe is however totally unaware of their super powerful mega skill and is very self depreciating and low confidence. But Mallory totally sees them as a cool older sibling mentor figure and is always trying to figure out ways to make their tol squiggle friend feel included and valued :3

* the way Gorgeous Ambassador comes into the picture is that he was actually the same sort of figure to Blythe! Back in the ninja era Blythe was partners with another human, but he passed away in tragic circumstances and it led to their current depressed self. However he actually reincarnated as a yokai and has been trying to find his lil sibling ever since! I feel like he was a failure samurai who tried to protect people but was so weak he never could. And he was always broke and starving and begging to do any sort of miscellaneous jobs for anyone or even let them punch him in the stomach for a few coins. And he had just as much self confidence issues as Blythe but he coped with it by becoming a compulsive liar instead, always boasting and trying to sell himself as some legendary hero to keep from facing the truth. Since Blythe was a cute lil babby yokai at the time, they always believed their human master's tall tales and looked up to him, which made him feel really guilty and try harder to work on becoming someone this kid could be genuinely proud of.

* Blythe was first born as a household spirit. Cos i was thinking about what Dimmy would be before it became a ninja, since the medallium description says it 'got a job as a ninja to put its powers to use', so like it isnt really a ninja yokai but just a yokai thats a ninja? I guess?? I figured that the idea of being an invisible shadow supporter fit with household spirits/domovoi/zakishi warishi (probably mispelled that) and the various other similar creatures in mythologies all over the world. Just the idea that theres some sort of being that protects your house and if you give it offerings and take good care of the place it will protect you and your family. So yeah its my headcanon that thats how Dimmys are born, and that theres probably many variants wearing different outfits inspired by whatever type of humans they guarded. Tho yeh ninja is a job that works really well with their abilities so it makes sense itd be the primary representative of the species in the games.

* Human-dude-who-would-become-gorgeous-ambassador first met Blythe when one of his various failed attempts to get a job happened to cross paths with the family Blythe was guarding. This family didnt believe in such old suspicions and never gave offerings to their household spirit, so it stayed small and weak and was almost fading away. Baby blythe didnt know why their humans didnt love them, even though they tried so hard to bring good luck and clean the fireplace and stuff. So they felt a sense of kinship with this poor failure samurai who was begging for food on their doorstep. The humans of the household spat in his face and turned him away empty handed, but the tiny yokai snuck some rice from the pantry and gave it to him. They were surprised that he was able to see them, and he gave them the first thank you they'd ever had!

* Addendum note: i feel like gorgeous samurai was cursed with being able to see yokai from a young age and its part of whay made him so determined to become strong enough to protect people. Perhaps his biological family was killed by an evil yokai and nobody ever believed what he saw? And he wandered japan trying to save other people and always failing and being blamed for what happened, since nobody could see the real culprit. This reputation of being a liar when he wasnt = he ended up actually lying about how he was totally fine and not sad and also great and not hating himself. Its not really something he can control anymore, its like a stress response and it keeps getting him in trouble but he cant stop. "Yes sure i can save the day, i'm awesome!" only makes things worse when he inevitably loses again, whic only makes his self confidence worse and traps him further in the lies...

* so anyway, he became friends with this lil babby yokai and kept coming back to visit them and tell more tall tales of his grand adventures. And eventually he managed to help Blythe come out of their shell a little and agree to leave this house where they were only fading away. Haunting him instead, the lil shadow soon flourished back to full health from being loved for the first time. And their new big bro would always give them the biggest share of all the food even when he was starving, and always wasted his money buying things for them, and knitted them lil scarfs and just HE WAS A GOODEST BIG BRO! They also made a great team, and he was finally able to fight evil yokai with a yokai of his own helping him out. Things were good for a few years!

* Eventually though, they faced a foe too strong for them to defeat. (Not sure yet who it is, cos it could be cool if they faced it again in the present day for a rematch?) Blythe's human friend ran into a burning building to save the people being attacked by this yokai, but because he was already gravely injured he didnt manage to make it out in time. And blythe was just a tiny bab who wasnt strong enough to carry his unconcious body to safety. So their last memories of him are of crying and begging him to wake up as the house fell apart all around them, and eventually the flames swallowed him up. the tiny yokai just ran and ran away from their shame, and never saw an ashy figure rising from the ruins and calling their name...

* eventually after years of struggling alone and lacking meaning in life, Blythe had a chance meeting with our protagonist and thus begins my yokai watch 1 lets play! At the same time their yokaified big bro is still out there searching for them, and maybe one day theyll meet again...

* also i wanna go with the pre-evo the anime added of Gorgeous Ambassador evolving from a sad depressed vampire lookin dude. Even if the whole circumstances here are vastly different! But we dont really have any info on what kageusuo's powers or stats would be, so i guess i'm free to mess around with that? I like the idea of it being vampiric just cos i feel it looks like that. But instead of drinking blood maybe its a hunger for shadows? Which is actually beneficial to humans and makes them less overshadowed aka the opposite of Dimmy's power. So if you ever feel that you're radiating charisma with perhaps a slightly lighter shadow, maybe youve been inspirited by this guy! And then the evolution into Gorgeous Ambassador doesnt actually change anything at all, except just looking more fashionable and confident (which is absolutely a lie). His power already made people more fabulous while being unable to affect himself, he just worked a bit harder on himself to try and catch up with everyone else. Self care vampire!

* oh and in this interpretation the way that kageusuo would be integrated into the gameplay is that Gorgeous Ambassador would get a new ability that lets him switch forms in battle, rather than it being a separate yokai. (Tho would still have a separate entry in the medallium just for conveinience of being able to view both character models whenever you want) Stuff that causes low confidence would make him poof between forms, and itd just be something like more attack based vs defense based, or maybe having two separate personality stats so its like his AI is slightly more versatile than the usual frustratingness of most yokai? Srsly im still so annoyed at so many yokai that have two mutually exclusive moves and the ai is stupid about using them at the wrong time to cancel each other out. Like how Dimmy can be given the AI personality to focus on attacking and thus take advantage of its auto-skill to be good at dodging aka a glass cannon. BUT also one of its skills gives that same status to an ally instead, which by definition takes it away from itself cos 'dont target this other guy' means there arent many other options. So you cpuld alternatively play dimmy as a supporter who exclusively protects others with that ability BUT the annoying part is that even when you set an AI profile to one particular move it still only makes it LIKELY to do that and not guaranteed. So every now and again your attacking dimmy will cancel its own buff to protect an enemy, or your supporting dimmy will forget to support abd instead buff itself despite not having the attack stat build to take advantage of it. Plus you cant have both and switch between modes mid battle, so thatd be REALLY useful if one yokai actually could do that, and also could change stats to fit! Im not sure how to give it a trigger condition thatd let you sorta change at will but also not be 100% easy and overpowered. I was thinking tying it to his confidence could mean missed attacks turn him into kageusuo and critical hits turn into gorgeous? But thatd be TOO uncontrollable...

* oh actually i think maybe i'll nickname him Amber! Just cos my brain just mispronounced gorgeous ambassador and It Kinda Works??? Also its a kind of name that sounds very pretty but also has connotations of gentle shyness, i think. Matches the duality of his fake boastfulness vs his true self doubt.

* Oh and i also thought of maybe having Blythe evolve into Casanono, even though you cant do that in canon. I feel like turning into a pretty humanoid would be a good way to symbolize their growing confidence ans casanono/casanuva has a big nonbinary aesthetic in my opinion. Plus of course the fact casanono is a variabt of a confident yokai thats actyally shy. Originally older brother dude was gonna be a casanuva to match, until i heard about Gorgerous Ambassador and decided it fits him better (especially with that new anime form!) So now im thinking maybe have Blythe be both casanono and casanuva at once, similar to their bro's form switching? But itd be more like casanuva is a rare super saiyan esque powerup when they experience rare moments of confidence. Im pretty much just doing this because SADLY casanono is a joke character who is literally mechanically forced to be useless in battle. Its ability makes it harder to catch yokai which ia already goddamn difficult, and it wastes a skill slot too. As opposed to Dimmy who has a similar personality of always being ignored and depressed but its abilities are actually beneficial. Itd suck to go from Blythe being my mvp to being unable to use them at all, so this would be a way to still always draw them as casanono in comics to match their actual personality, but using casanuva in battle cos.. Well.. Yeah its the functional one of the two. Level-5 if youre listening please make casanono useable in future games!! Casanuva is absolutely the worst one personality wise so it sucks that the game agrees with his ego that he's great and also punches his depressed counterpart into the bin of ignoreness DESPITE BEING SUPER SYMPATHETIC AND RELATEABLE AND ALSO CUTER COLOURSCHEME

Anyway thats all the thoughts i have so far. Except oh also itd be funny if throughout the whole story blythe keeps talking about their dead brother as if he was the super best most serious hero and then when the protagobists actually meet him he's this gaudy dork XD

[cryingbilldenbrough]

hi i want to request some ryers from you. idc what it is, i just want to read something about that beautiful ship written by you. literally. you can write about anything you want. please and thank you. (i deserve this for the number of times you’ve made me cry thanks)

ok so just remember that u asked for this

i feel like a lot of ryers stuff has the idea that richie moves to hawkins so let’s switch that

will byers moves across the country to derry, maine and the fresh start isn’t quite what he thought it would be

johnathan isn’t with them, having graduated high school and gone off to college 

joyce rents a two bedroom house and there’s no Johnathan’s Room anymore, no place for will to go and lay on the floor and turn on the boombox and let The Shins drown out the biting wind in his ears

it’s two stories, with stairs that creak under his feet and the basement isn’t like theirs was back home, solely for storm shelter. there’s shelves all along the walls for canning and storage and will spends a whole day down there exploring

anyway he rolls up to derry high school on the first day of sophomore year, his mom sitting in their idling car near the buses, and shoulders his backpack

he keeps his head up

because this is the first time he’s been able to restart and no one in derry knows, man. he’s got the chance to reinvent himself which is every teenagers dream!! 

he slides into his first period homeroom class and there’s a kid in the back who looks as apprehensive as will feels and the boy introduces himself as ben hanscom after class, offering to show will around

“ive been the new kid before” he says, warm and with a smile and will gets a big lump in his throat because he misses dustin SO BAD

ben hanscom invites him to sit with his friends at lunch and will stands through the lunchline for what feels like forever, anxiety swimming in his stomach

but the Party (not a party, will, they’re not the same try not to think of that) is so welcoming and kind? 

eddie kaspbrak is a small boy who pauses mid-rant about the disgusting boys bathroom on the third floor to offer his hand out for will to shake

beverly marsh has max’s firey hair and el’s powerful nature and she winks at will and says something about his haircut and will blushes and ducks his head because while he’s not really interested in women, beverly marsh is everyone’s weak spot/exception

stan uris is quiet and will almost glosses right over him until stan says something wry out of the corner out of his mouth, stopping the entire group in their laughing and joking and they’re deathly still until stan’s facade cracks and he grins at them, all dimples

will notices the air of tension during the pause wasn’t apprehension, more like the group was simply Waiting for stan to give in and accept that he’s told a joke

mike hanlon is quiet with an air of serious consideration, like he’s cataloging everything they do and say to save for later

he looks a little haunted, a little fucked up, and will thinks he recognizes the dead look in the boy’s eyes

mike reminds will of sheriff hopper, kind and haunted and sad

bill denbrough is will’s favorite right away. his eyes are alight and he smiles out of the side of his mouth, guarded, and he makes will feel kind of like the only person in the world when he talks to him

he compliments will’s notebook which is covered in little doodles and will has a weird moment when he’s like Wow i would do anything for bill denbrough? whom i have just met?

basically bill denbrough has +20 charisma and will saves that thought in his back pocket to revisit later

and finally

there’s richie

richie laughs while eating and sprays milk all over the table and has coke bottle glasses and a dumb goofy grin 

he ruffles will’s hair when bev compliments it, sticking his hand across the table and rubbing down just a little too hard

will slaps his hand away, so used to johnathan doing it, and richie laughs and laughs

stan explains richie to him while the other boy is turning his attention to eddie kaspbrak who swears at him, saying “whenever richie needs to shut up, we just say beep beep richie and that does the trick”

will doesn’t get the chance to try out the trick until lunch is almost over, warning bell ringing and everyone scrambling to wrap up the rest of their lunches for later or to throw away

and as will stands up, a book falls out of his backpack

it’s a Dungeons and Dragons guide, the one mike used to map out their campaign  

(”take this with you,” mike says, thrusting the book into will’s hands. they’re standing in the bare byers living room, hands stuffed in pockets and surrounded by cardboard boxes. 

“no, you need it,” will argues “you gotta finish the campaign” and man this hurts really fucking bad

“i bought a new one,” mike says quickly, making will take the book and wrap his fingers around it “besides, we all signed this one”

will opens the front cover and there’s writing all along the inside, little notes and drawings from the Party to him

will holds it to his chest and then brings mike into a hug, the last one before he leaves hawkins for probably forever)

“what’s this?” richie says, holding it out and will tries to snatch it back but richie’s fast “this is some next level nerd shit” he says 

and will knows he’s kidding but years of being called freak dont do well for self esteem and will is blinking back tears before he can stop himself 

“beep beep richie” he says in a choked voice and nobody else but them is paying attention which will is thankful for because crying in front of his new friends is NOT COOL

and as soon as he says it, richie’s fingers go lax. he gives the book back without a second more of fight and will blinks and tries to calm down and richie’s just looking at him

“it’s from my friends” will explains and richie nods, little and thoughtful. there’s a beat, a moment of peace and silence, and then richie’s throwing his arm over will’s shoulders

“welcome to the losers club,” he says, warm and understanding

and will byers has a new party, a club full of laughter and love and a power he doesn’t yet understand

for the first time in a long time, will belongs again

but this is derry and in derry the dead don’t stay dead and that includes dead pasts

will opens his locker one day and a balloon floats out

it’s red, almost transparent from how overblown it is, and it drifts at exactly his height out into the hallway

will reaches a hand out, to touch and figure out who the fuck put that in his locker and what the fuck it is

and the balloon spins

ZOMBIE BOY it says in happy white letters

and will blinks and he’s in the Upside Down

it’s not real it cant be real but the cold is biting and the wind is chilling him to the bone and derry is covered in vines but it’s different this time? theres a smell of decay in the air that hawkins didnt have, the scent of actual real death and it smells like brick and concrete and a sewer and the bodies of hundreds of dead kids

will’s hyperventilating, crying and stuck frozen and the balloon is still there and it drifts towards him and it’s getting closer and the demogorgon isnt there but there’s something else, a presence of evil he can FEEL and it sounds like dripping water and fingernails on steel and breaking bones and wheezing breath

there’s lights in the distance, three of them swirling together in a drifting dance

just when will thinks it’s real, just when he’s giving into the swirling lights and blowing wind and the shiny red balloon

the balloon pops

the sound is a gunshot, shocking him out of the trance and will blinks and he’s back

he’s in the hallway and the balloon is gone and the Upside Down is gone and richie tozier is there

he’s got his hand outstretched towards will and he’s saying something that will cant hear over the rushing wind in his ears

“are you okay?” he thinks he sees richie mouth and he forces himself to nod

later, after he’s explained it all, richie tells will he found him staring at the wall, catatonic and crying

will wants to be embarrassed but he’s only grateful for richie for bringing him back

“it was a balloon?” richie says, voice hushed. they’re in the boys bathroom, crowded together in the furthest stall while they skip class

richie had stuck his sneakered foot on the toilet and hoisted himself up to open the window

he pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and offers one to will, which he declines, before lighting up and taking a drag

“yeah” will responds

“fuck” he breathes out, smoke leaving his lungs and it smells strong enough that it erases the scent of this new Upside Down from will’s nostrils, replacing it with menthol and richie

“did you see…. a clown….” richie says and will wants to laugh but he looks serious

not just serious

richie looks downright scared

he’s shaking a little, the cherry of his smoke bobbing in the air and will knows that kind of fear, the primal urge to fight or flight and richie looks kind of tired and weary too

“no” will says and richie sighs, relieved

he doesnt want to tell richie he saw the past and the future at the same time, an alternate and adjacent universe far beyond anything either of them could comprehend

richie takes another drag off his cigarette and sets his jaw and will thinks he’s making a decision

“meet us at the clubhouse after school” he throws the cig out the open window and leaves will, the bell ringing in the distance

when will shows up in the barrens, backpack over his shoulders, they’re waiting for him

the clubhouse is hidden and will has been to it a few times and still sometimes has trouble picking it out, camoflauged with brush and leaves

he drops down into the ground and the whole Club is there 

he draws his knees up to his chest as richie tells them all of how he found will, explaining the dead look in his eyes 

(”they almost looked…. grey” he says and all the blood drains out of bill’s face in the light of a few candles)

richie hands it over to will to explain what he saw and will struggles through his explanation, trying not to let onto the fact that he’s some freak with Now Memories and a haunted fucked up past

but the Club doesn’t look… surprised? scared?

they look frightened and tired and weary and sympathetic

stan uris has his knees drawn to his chest and is running his fingers over the sides of his face, over faint scars will never noticed before

“sounds like…” eddie trails off

“i k-know what it s-s-sounds like,” bill says 

“sounds like what?” will asks and hes kind of pissed off because they all look shifty

they’re hiding something, some secret related to balloons and death and fucking clowns and will byers is so FUCKING SICK of being out of the loop

of being left out of the plans because he’s weak and people are afraid of him getting hurt

“sounds like what?” he repeats and the group collectively flinches

“look, we don’t know exactly” ben starts

“it’s hard to pinpoint exact memories,” bev finishes for him and they share a look “we can’t keep track of all of it,” 

“they c-c-come and go” bill says and eddie nods and richie looks sick and angry

“what happened here?” will asks, voice low

the group look at each other, the lucky seven sharing their cosmic energy and deciding to pull another into their chess game with death

they make a decision, an election, to tell the story, the history of their haunted town and the fog that covers it, the story of a manifestation of Evil and their ever-tiring fight against It

will feels richie’s hand slip into his, sweaty and shaking but grounding

he turns to look at richie and the boy is smiling at him, soft and guarded and will thinks he’s very lucky to have met this group, haunted pasts be damned

“derry,” mike hanlon starts, licking his lips, “is not like other towns”

send me headcanons/prompts/requests!

[missjackil]

Imagine if Sam and Dean Behaved Like Normal Brothers

We can argue all we want about whether or not Sam and Dean’s toxic co-dependency is a good thing or not, but some things are for certain, the show would be boring, and neither brother would have lived past Season 2.  I dont think anyone thinks co-dependency is actually a good thing, but at least for this story, it’s necessary. Real life brother can be very close, and love each other deeply, but I have never met any that would give up their significant other for their brother, so if Sam and Dean were “normal” we could safely assume theyd both be married by now. Dean to Lisa because he wouldnt have bothered going back to hunting when Sam asked, and if he did, he would have ditched Sam when Lisa expressed how twisted and tangled their relationship was. This is all of course if they even managed to make it to S6 which I dont think they would. When Sam died in S2, Dean may have loved Sam enough to become suicidal when he died, but no way would he love him enough to sell his soul for one more year with him. If somehow they managed to make it though, Sam would have gone back to Amelia when she gave him the ultimatum. But more than likely, Sam would have gone back to school and not worried so much about leaving Dean alone to hunt by himself.  So best case scenario, we’d have a couple of realistic brothers, with wives, probably kids, talking on the phone to each other maybe once a week, getting together to watch sports once in a while when they didnt have to do something with their families. If either of them, or both remained hunters, they’d be dead in no time with no one willing to go beyond the call of duty to keep the other alive.  This is the toxic part of the co-dependence, when either of them get self destructive, or world destructive to save the other. They dont demonstrate this level of love for anyone else on the show, not their Dad, Bobby, Cas, or anyone. When these people died, the brothers were very sad, but they just let them go. “Let the dead stay dead” has applied to everyone else in their lives except each other.  So, what makes these two so co dependent that they just cant fathom the idea of living without the other? I don’t think the show ever explained it well enough beyond showing us they could only depend on each other growing up, and throwing in that they’re soulmates. This sheds light on it, yes, but still doesn’t explain it. Both things could be true for real life brothers, and it would probably mean they are closer than normal brothers, but still not be Winchester level of closeness. It may or may never be explained, but it will always be a big question for me. When Season 11 rolled around and Sam gave that speech in the Hospital that they need to stop breaking the world to save each other because  they’ve forgotten they’re supposed to be saving people, not just each other (paraphrased) I thought maybe they would stop their toxic co dependence and act like real brothers, and they kind of did for a while, they got along better, had some fun together, but then Sam was willing to let Lucifer/cas touch his soul to get enough power to bring Dean back, which could very likely have killed him. And then there was Red Meat, where Dean though Sam was dead and his first response was to let the werewolves come and fight them to the death... when he was talked out of it, he decided saving Sam was the only important thing in the world and he ODed to try to make it happen. Whether he died or not, he was determined to save Sam. Meanwhile, Sam isnt dead but he’s gut shot and bleeding profusely, in a shit ton of pain. Sure he could have stayed there and waited for Dean, Dean comes back for him, thats just how it is, and he can fight off a couple of left over werewolves and just tend to himself, but no, Dean is in danger because Corbin is a werewolf. Did Sam trust that Dean could handle Corbin alone? Nope, he needed him, or at least needed to know. When Sam wasnt sure Dean heard him say Corbin is a werewolf, Sam risked his life to go help Dean, and shot the bad guy himself. So yeah, neither have learned yet to drop the self destructiveness. Come the end of S11, Sam does, very reluctantly, let Dean go alone to face, and try to kill Amara, which would kill him in the process. For a moment I think this OOC for Sam, until he gets home and Toni is waiting there with her gun drawn. What does Sam do? Not the normal Sam thing to draw his gun, tell her to drop hers, and either take over the situation or shoot her, he almost draws his gun but doesnt, no, he believes Dean is dead, he has no shits to give anymore, so he approaches this woman, bare handed  taunting her to fire “we both know you’re not gonna pull the trigger” Sam’s just ready to die. Thats all.  Season 12 comes. Theres no real self destructive behavior between them, in fact Dean seems a little less than hellbent to find Sam, is it because now his mother’s back and he has something/someone else to live for? Maybe, but now that makes me sad, but fast forward to First Blood, and we’re back to self destructive. Both brothers make a blood pact to guarantee that at least one of them lives. Both think they’ll be the one to die for the other. but fortunately, that doesnt come to pass. Then only 2 episodes later, Sam is risking his life by going into the home of powerful witches, alone, to try to save Dean’s life,  when he gets captured, Dean, who up till now has forgotten everyone in his life, even his own name, still remembers Sam. Dean makes it into the house, no longer remembering how to speak, he doesn’t seem to recognize Sam by sight, but completely remembers “Brother” and kills the witch.  If that wasnt enough to show us they are still toxicaly co-dependent, in Who We Are, when trapped in the bunker with maybe a day left to live before they suffocate, one last self destructive move was made. The grenade launcher. These boys where not just willing, but were happy at the idea that if they didnt get out together, they’d GO out together! The looks on their faces was priceless wasnt it? So much love, pride and excitement in the idea of making it out together, or dying together! So, Ill go on record to say that yes, toxic co-dependency is bad, and I dont recommend it, but in the case of the Winchesters, it’s not only wonderful, but 100% necessary to make the show as good as it is. 

(sorry for long post, I couldnt get “keep reading” to not go to the bottom of the page)

[onceawasteland]

NATASHA, PIERRE AND THE GREAT COMET OF 1812 (August 11th 2017, and August 12th 2017) there are spoilers to come but i felt you would all appreciate my take on the show for I have greatly appreciated everyone else's reviews. THIS STORY IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME AND I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IT IS CLOSING. the above are pictures from my two respective seats and at the stage door Act One * the walls are covered in portraits from the 1800s, some of which are landscapes of operas) * i danced (badly) on a broadway stage * to get to the on stage seating you enter through lucas' door * while waiting for the show to start old russian music is playing. they also played some french music bc they were francophiles YAY FOR HISTORY * a lady behind me said "omg look at how they did the staging... i guess its pretty clear that theres not a lot of dancing in this show. and i about died laughing * during prologue Cathryn squeaked on the clarinet as she ran down the stairs and my best friend is a clarinet player so this made her RIDICULOUSLY happy * OAK LOOKED RIGHT AT ME DURING MY FAVORITE PART OF PIERRE WHICH IS MY FAVORITE SONG (You empty and stupid, contented fellows. satisfied with your place, im different from you im different from you. i stilll want to do something) * during pierre, pierre sings the part, "and how many men before good russian men, believing in goodness and truth" right to Anatole (who is in the main spot light) and a bunch of other dudes including Dolokohv * Anatole is wasted pretty much the whole show but he this is when you first notice it and lucas was sitting on the stairs right next to me and he kind of drunkenly slipped before he ran to the other side of the stage and i was like 😍😍 * Deneé was on our side of the stage pretty much the whole show and she looked me straight in the eyes about 15 times * during the very beginning of no one else when the music just starts to play Deneé walks with very youthful steps and it just emphasizes her innocence and lack of awareness and just EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PLAY IS MAGIC * no one else is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen (well kind of if you dont count the great comet of 1812) The independent lightbulbs which are hanging from the ceiling all kind of drop so it kind of looks like Natasha is floating among the stars * when deneé sang "we were angles once dont you remember" the second night i was there the guy she was singing to on stage right said yes and you could hear it in her mike 😂 * also during no one else, when Deneé sings "this winter sky" she is standing on the top tier of stairs and she flings her arms out gesturing to the sky and the blue light of the moon is the only real light on her and it is quite simply breathtaking * andrei shows up 3-4 times during act one and its super sad every time. the first one (i think, from my vantage point) was during no one else when Natasha is squeezing her knees. Andrei is holding her letters in his hand and then he puts them in his coat pocket right next to his heart and i want to die. * at the beginning of the opera when Dolokohv is introduced he is so ridiculously arrogant and its adorable. Dolokohv in general is pretty fucking adorable. He points at the mezzanine and smirks and its beautiful * at the opera when Natasha says "a little sad a little stout" pierre is in the parlor which is right between natasha and Marya, and Helene and he makes this face like "wtf dude we should be bros" and he is playing the accordion and he pulls it in a way that the note declines and its just this hilarious moment * during the opera andrei shows up covered in blood right after Natasha sees Anatole is staring at her and its so depressing and also NICHOLAS BELTON OMG * Andrei also shows up during Natasha and Anatole (ok my heart 💔) * pierre is reading in his study through almost the entire show * So i heard this before and i didnt believe it bc you cant tell from just the music but the way that lucas plays Anatole is just so complex i love it. During, Natasha and Anatole he is a. really surprised at the amount that he isnt being rebuffed. and b. he has all these nervous tics before he enters the box all the way and makes his presence known and it just adds so much to the character because while yes he is the bad guy he isnt evil he is just unaware of everyone else. * he also tries to convince himself that he isnt doing anything wrong during "we are speaking of the most ordinary things" he wasnt trying to convince her HE WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF * and then RIGHT WHEN SHE SAYS "yet I feel closer to you thank Ive ever felt with any other man" he just looks so happy and surprised * Right before Anatole goes to talk to Pierre during the duel he does this mind blown motion after watching natasha exit and its so fucking cute * DOLOKOHV'S "DRINK DRINK"s AT THE BEGINNING OF THE DUEL HAPPENED AS HE RAN UP THE STAIRS RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND I DIED BC HOLY FUCK NICK CHOKSI * I know you all already know this but the strobe lights are the most badass thing i have ever seen in my life. i straight up thought i was going to die they are SO intense. and during the ohohohohohs at the beginning lucas and nick did this hoping dance and i was like 😍 and its so cool bc of the strobe lights and I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE STROBE LIGHTS HOLY FUCK * the second night i saw it, i cant remember who it was but, someone literally almost kicked me in the face from the stage section right in front of me * during the line "then i feel a pleasant warmth in my body" LUCAS DOES A BODY ROLE AND IT IS SO RIDICULOUSLY HOT I CANNOT EVEN DESCRIBE IT * OK OAK! this is the moment i was like FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW THIS BOY IS A GIFT FROM HEAVEN. When Dolokohv is singing "heres to the health of married women" he is talking directly into pierre's face trying to bro out, and oak's face just falls completely and im like I NEED TO GIVE YOU A HUG DONT BE SAD. then, THENNNNN Dolokohv actually goes and makes out with helene two feet away from him and the hurt on oaks face was so raw i just 😭 * during the duel it is super obvious that Helene actually cares about Pierre because when she see that he hit Dolokohv shes more worried about the retribution than she is about dolokohv and i just want to die bc these characters are so fucking complex and BEAUTIFULLLLL * Dust and Ashes IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SONG AND OAK SINGS IT SO WELL AND I DIDNT KNOW THAT THE SONGS COULD GET BETTER BUT HE DID AND I WANT TO DIE * Dust and Ashes is my best friends favorite song and Oak looked directly at her during her favorite line too and its like he fucking knew we were sitting there * during sunday morning Sonya is trying to imitate Marya by sitting exactly like her and that is so great * Charming is gay. that is all there is to say really, just GAYYYYY * and Natasha imitates Helene at the end of Charming which again shows her innocence (SCREAMING) * she then makes the most adorable "well if you say so face" during "but still she talks so frankly. so it must be alright" and she kind of shrugs and AGHHHH * at the beginning if the ball Anatole, again, has all sorts of nervous energy and hes pacing and bouncing on the balls of his feet shaking his hands. and it just adds so much depth. * the ball was really distracting the first night bc two people (cant say who they were bc they are in huge ass masks) were dancing like 6 inches away from me and kept breathing in my ear. I am not complaining. * Lucas turns around with his hands up in a surrender pose like "i didnt do anything what are you saying" when natasha says "your hurting my hand" which i love. then he runs up and just grabs her bodily, turns her to him and smashes his lips on to hers. they stay like that for like 4 seconds and then natasha throws herself on top of him, essentially, and he kind of spins them around and its really kind of romantic (i am not a shipper of the two, except that i maybe kind of am after seeing how they interact with eachother) * Natasha kind of freaks out after the kiss but she is convinced that there is nothing else for her now but anatole and its like GIRLLLLL * Lucas and Deneé leave the stage arm and arm through the big door at the back with the same white lights that Anatole entered with. ACT 2 VERY FIRST THING THAT HAPPENED IN ACT TWO. LUCAS STEELE STARED INTO MY EYES FOR A SOLID 6 SECONDS AND SMIRKED AT ME AN I DIED AND MY FACE PROBABLY LOOKED SO DUMB BUT I DONT CARE BECAUSE AGHH In Letters when pierre says IT IS NAPOLEON the portrait of napoleon on the wall lit up and i cried andrei was there during all of letters and it was so depressing BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHATS COMING AND AGH. right before sonya and natasha sonya and anatole glare at eachother as lucas exists and then sonya runs to grab the letter from natasha's hand. DENEÉ'S SASS DURING THE LINE "I do not grasp the question" is fucking epic. she roles her eyes and its perfection during Sonya alone Igrid Michaelson was literally three feet away. and the lights didnt light up behind denee and i was like ohhh someone messed up. Dolokohv was trying insanely hard to convince anatole not to go through with the abduction and his turmole was very evident. at one point denee walk across the stage and he looked between her and anatole, ran his hand through his hair and then just gives in and follows. Anatole is v annoyed with Dolokohv during preparations. while dolokohv is speaking he is mouthing along like "shut up bro you dont know wtf youre saying" its very funny balaga: there are no words just so much happened paul pinto is a beast i dont even know how he does it. ok on night two i tried write down things from balaga Heath whipped me in the face with his hair as he was head banging on the stage in front of me. marya plays the drums at the top of the stage #GRACEMcLEANISAGODDESS andrei is present through most of act two. he is playing the triangle in pierre's study during balaga OAK DOES THE MOST ADORABLE LAUGH AFTER HIS "WooooOOOOOOAHHH" in abduction. he makes me want to die Lucas' "WAAAAAAIIIT first we have to sit down" is hilarious because the amount of time that he just sits there in silence flirting with this random lady on stage is ridiculous. he messes with his hair and puts his arm around her while we (i) all just sit there staring at him with doppy smiles on our (my) faces. on night two he sat next to a guy on the stage and i really thought he was going to flirt with him as well but alas dolokohv's fur cloak bit is very funny and the cloak is purple which is not what i imagined. again i will say that he is adorable anatole makes out with the fur cloak girl before going to get natasha. boi Grace McLean's in my house is not just angry she is also devastated that natasha is to be ruined. her face is contorted with pain in almost every line. and she is pleading with natasha to listen to her. her vocals are just so insane just OMG the blocking during in my house was also insanely cool. sonya, natasha, and Marya are standing in a a triangle the whole time (denee was RIGHT in front of me for the majority of the time) and they would switch which point of the triangle they were at and the rotation was very neat. I REALIZED LATER THAT THIS IS A PARALLEL TO MOSCOW BECAUSE THEY ARE STANDING IN A TRIANGLE THEN TOO AND OMG THIS SHOW DOES LITERALLY EVERYTHING RIGHT in call to pierre, oaks first what, when pinto gives him the letter is like "wtf is going on here im nobody whats going on" and despite being very depressing is also kind of funny. the whats then progressively get less funny and more depressing and i HATE THAT THIS HAPPENS TO MY CHILDREN NICHOLAS BELTON WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME ON THE SECOND NIGHT DURING CALL TO PIERRE AND HE KIND OF RUNS AND HIDES BEHIND A POST IN THE BACK OF THE THEATER AS PIERRE LEARSN WHAT HAPPENED TO NATASHA. pierre went to find anatole in the club all of the ensemble were surrounding the walls of the theater and it felt like we were actually in the club which was insane after "NATASH, NATASHA. IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT I SEE NATASHA" Anatole throws his head down into helene's lap and i read somewhere that "they downplayed the incest" BUT I CALL BULL SHIT I DIDNT SAY THIS EARLIER BUT DURING THE DUEL AT THE LINE "Imma make love to her" AMBER IS GRINDING ON LUCAS SO I CALL BULL FUCKING SHIT anatole is also really distraught. its super weird bc with just the music to go off of you think anatole is just this jackass that wants nothing but to feel good and fuck everyone else... BUT LUCAS OMG lucas makes him sympathetic. he seems to really love natasha and when pierre is yelling at him he takes it to heart and freaks the hell out and just my love (i mean still a dick but) pierre and anatole is so fucking intense. and the ending if it when anatole is being a whiny baby IT IS SO GREAT BC ITS SO CLEAR HE IS THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM which emphasizes his age and lack of understanding as well WHICH IS JUST SO FUCKING GREAT. Anatole's exit is almost an exact reflection of his entrance. with the lights flaring as he walks out the door everyone talks about this but when natasha poisons herself shes right between anatole and pierre and its so depressing and just my heart pierre and andrei is so fucking sad. first off in the book (which is all about redemption, ill get to that) Andrei gets the BEST most beautiful redemption arc, and ive always been kind if sad that they took that out. everyone else gets at least the possibility of redemption and they just straight up removed every possibility of andrei finding forgiveness. but whatever this is the song that made me start crying, i didnt stop until i was standing at the stage door both nights. ITS JUST SO FUCKING SAD AND I DONT EVER WANT TO FORGET NICHOLAS BELTON STANDING ON THE STAGE "smiling like his father" AS HE COMES TO TERMS WITH THIS BETRAYAL. OAK! OAKKKKKK. I did not know that pierre could get better i thought we had reached maximum amazing but HOLY SHIT. first off the whole time he was hilarious. at the beginning of the Duel when he said opera he satirized the word and drew it out kind of long which was hilarious. and other little moments while he was in his parlor. BRILLIANT. and then AND THEN DURING PIERRE AND NATASHA. i have no words the whole thing was heart breaking. I started crying during Pierre and Andrei and I didnt stop until the end, at the stage door, but holy fuck. after he says his line (you all know the one) i could SEE this singular tear fall from his face and god damn if that wasnt the most heart wrenching thing i have ever seen. he was full on sobbing on stage and i could not handle it. During Pierre and Natasha, Helene, Marya, and Dolokohv were sitting in the audience sections and Helene was crying, dolokohv was strumming his guitar and looking very depressed and Marya just sat there shaking her head. Im not sure if other people were around too but those were the three i could see. during great comet everything is just so beautiful. oaks acting and gestures made everything 100102948391x better but the lighting was INSANE. the comet was beautiful the stars were beautiful, oak was beautiful. one of the MOST stunning plays I have EVER seen in so many ways. a person is not supposed to cry 6 times during a show... it requires magic and this show had it in bucket loads. STAGE DOOR DAY ONE: I MISSED GRACE MCLEAN BC I WAS DISTRACTED AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF AGHWHSHF Lucas must be on voice rest bc he wasnt saying anything but HE WAS SO CUTE AND IM DYING BC HE TOUCHED ME. (also i became like ridiculously starstruck and forgot that i wanted to tell him how much his acting adds to the lyrics and the character and how he is so much more sympathetic because he genuinely loves natasha and just doesn't demonstrate that in a good way, i will also. ever forgive myself for that) there was a little girl next to me at the stage door and the actresses were all being so encouraging to her. they were like "if you want to be an actress DO IT, I was right where you were once and now im here. you have it in you, just dont ever give up." and i wanted to cry bc OH JESUS THEY ARE SUCH GOOD PEOPLE. Paul Pinto is THE MOST™. i absolutely love it even after the show he had SO much energy. i was like 😮 how. Nick Choksi is adorable and wears so much eyeliner and he also talked to the little girl next to me about how excited he would be to see her name up on a marquee one day and i cried. I have no idea what I said to him bc again i was starstruck. My best friend died a little bc she loves him and i think it was honestly one of the best moments of her life. Amber, Oak, and Denee didnt come out (sobs) but APPARENTLY Renee Elise Goldsberry was there to congratulate Oak and support him and i was to cry again. OK DAY TWO STAGE DOOR: * this was a scary night for me * i got into a fight with a man because he was being exceptionally rude to the actors and i called him out on it and he started screaming at me and then he started pushing this other lady right when Shoba was signing in front of us and she looked so scared and i feel so fucking bad * also his daughter was obviously a huge fan of the show and was so excited to see the cast and when he got kicked out she was sobbing and i will maybe never forgive myself for ruining this girls night on broadway but someone needed to say something. he was straight up making fun of the cast as they were three feet away from him and the final straw for me was when he said "some one needs to go in there and grab that blond bitch by the hair and drag her out here. if no one else will ill do it" and so i turned around and said "excuse me sir would you mind turning down the vulgarity. it's incredibly disrespectful" and he said some of the meanest things i have ever heard from another person (called me a bitch, told me i would always be alone, tried to intimidate me by saying he was three times my age... i was just like that says more about you than it does about me man) any way the security guy (idk his name but i love him) got him to leave and then once he was gone i started crying bc everyone around me was patting me on the back trying to make me feel better and that makes me cry apparently. * SO THEN ANGLE MAN MCSECURITY came over and tried to cheer me up as did many other people which really only made it worse but everyone was being so kind and trying to distract me and finally i said "FUCK IT I CANT BE CRYING WHEN LUCAS STEELE COMES OUT" and everyone laughed and i started to stop crying. OK SO WHEN LUCAS CAME OUT AND GOT TO ME ANGLE SECURITY MAN SAID "lucas just so you know this girl has had a really hard time just now. a man was being very confrontational with her in the crowd, (wait for it) can she have a hug" and lucas stared into my eyes (LMAO I AM NATASHA) and said (his voice was so raspy and he was definitely not supposed to be speaking) "im so sorry but if i hug you i have to hug everyone, im so sorry that you had an altercation. here i can do this" AND HE STARTED RUBBING MY HAND IN CIRCLES AND I ABOUT DIED and i said "its ok i totally understand, you are actually fantastic (AND I LOVE YOU, actually no i didnt say that) can i have a picture?" and he said yes (its so bad) and then went down the line more BUT HOLY FUCK * and THEN i asked the totally innocuous question to angle security man, out if curiosity not wanting to do it myself, "not to sound presumptuous or anything but how is it that people grt to go back stage at things like this?" and he said friends or family and i said ok, makes sense i was just curious. THEN HE CAME BACK 3 MINUTES LATER AND SAID "i just wanted to let you know i tried to get you back stage, my friend Summaya is in the cast would have taken you but she already left. i hope thats ok." and i just kind of stared at him bc I WASNT ASKING TO GO BACK MYSELF IT WAS A FOR FUTURE REFERENCE THING and i said "no no of course i totally understand dont worry about it" * GUESS WHAT ELSE HAPPEND BRITTAN ASHFORD WAS THERE AND WHEN SHE CAME OUT i started pointing and talking incoherently and he said, "do you want Brittan's autograph?" and i just kind of nodded and he BROUGHT HER OVER TO ME * Nicholas Belton didnt come out the stage door but he apparently was meeting up with Cathryn and a bunch of the other cast after the show bc i saw him as i was walking to my uber and i just kind if stalked him a little bit bc OMG and i love that they all go out together after the show * Anthony Ramos and Jasmine Cephas Jones were at the show to see Oak and they went in the stage door and Jasmine waved right to me after she saw me waving at her. they showed up separately and i was like OMG ARE THEY OK I HOPE THEYRE OK... but its all good * and Alex Gibbson told me that he was proud of me for having read War and Peace because his copy was collecting dust in the attic somewhere and i laughed * and BRAD GIOVANINE REMEMVERD ME at the sage door he said "hey! you were here last night werent you?" and i said "YEAH!" and he said "yes, i thought i recognized you in the audience! thank you so much for coming back" and i said "I wouldnt have missed it, thank you for telling this story" and that was a definite highlight OK SO THE REASON THAT THIS SHOW IS MAGIC: so the main message of war and peace is that people are good, and redemption, for even the most base of people, is not only possible it is probable because when you break it down we are all imbued with humanity which can triumph when/if we let it. the show doesnt necessarily show that redemptive possibility because it is the part of the story where literally everyone is at their worst. BUT the acting and intention behind the blocking and the small things show that even the very worst of characters (cough anatole, cough helene, cough dolokohv), that we really shouldnt sympathize with based on their actions, are portrayed in such a way that it is IMPOSSIBLE to not see them as, at their root, good. it is impossible to not see their humanity. their weaknesses are on full display, but those weaknesses are merely weakness. they are not evil, they are a result of circumstance and upbringing. not to mention the characters we are supposed to love... they are so easy to forgive its ridiculous in conclusion: Natasha, Pierre, and The Great Comet of 1812 is the bets musical i have ever seen. I love the cast with all of my heart because of their talent and kindness, I will NEVER forget the magic that was tonight. i CANNOT believe that this show is closing. I will never see anything like it ever again and its a travesty. I hope one day there is a revival that is this good... i have hope 🙏🏻.

[trippz2ill2ace8itout]

🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙||HOPE #3; ||You Know My Name, Not My Story||🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙

PART THREEE, FACEBOOK IM NOT A HARM TO MYSELF OR OTHERS THIS IS IN MY PAST XX TRIGGER WARNING XX 💚💚🔥🥀🦋A Lil Deeper Into My Demons Life; *Johnny "JJ" Garcia; about the visions he basically comes at night funny how "at night" is when i act out anyways, "johnny" did some huge damage to me and made me do damage to others, but mostly me, he abused me, made me breakdown millions of times made me violent with crazy ass visions of different shit, its like living in a horror movie.coming after me i tried to kill him but he never dies he said "pull the red wire" which one do i pull theres to many i hate when he "possesses" me when he comes after me even in my dreams he still makes me violent sometimes but less cuz im getting treatment. "you gotta nice autograph picture, one for you and one for yo sister" at my group home "JJ" hassnt seen me (except for once i was outside trying to kill me or hurt myself, i threw rocks at the car that Johnny was running over my mom with in the vision, she ran she ran and i almost went AWOL but i didn't) *Elizabeth "Liz" Ramos; ~The Night You Left, Turning Sara Into Elizabeth Ramos~ MY STORYxccc Written In 9/6/12 I was screaming, panting, searching, all over, so this is my story, so i was @ Preston's open house, right? and he got mad at me and tried to punch me so i punched him then i ran round the blocks screaming for you when people walked by i threatened them i was insane dark posessed, i stole a pack of cigarretes and some blue pills and Esctasy the cops (there were about 7 or 8 cars) chasing me but i was to fast finally i got thrown in my moms car i went home lockled in my room going crazy cutting till i was bleeding and beaten and bruised, trashing my room, destroying everything, graffiting on myself and the walls writing "666" everywhere. ranting on satanistic shit, listening to death metal, finally Johnny took full control and possessed me i busted the door down trashed the house i punched my mom and myself the officer in our house i stole a pill bottle and chased my family around ranting on and on i busted the front door open my mom tackled me to the ground i got out of her grip i ran into the dark going cxrazy going mad trying to die with Johnny chasing me and abusing me, after about 5 minutes they tackled me to the ground i went to the car destroying the glass all my personalities came out, i got more posessed than before i realized it wasnt you Cynthia sang to me and i knew it wasnt you it was your father, Presly Garcia, i know you would leave me i knew you would fuck up. *Johnny "JJ" Garcia; ~Lisxten Upx~ MY STORY.cc EMPTY.TO.EMPTY (WRITTEN AT RESIDENTAL TREATMENT CENTER) This is how I feel, i know you don't have the power to kill my mom you showed me that she burned in a fire well fuck off Johnny are you real? NO YOUR NOT FUCKING REAL. MAKE ME A PERSON OF DARKNESS, my depression digs deep Johnny no Johnny STOP MAKE IT STOP HELP ME HELP ME STOP IT NO GO AWAY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? but you can't kill mommy please dont take me to the ends. i don't know about you, but im done. this is how i feel, i feel lonely, and shattered, don't know where to go, what to do, im just done, i don't care about me, i hate me. I HATE ME. the new me isn't like the old me, the new me has lost herself inside and outside, mentally and physically, im lost inside a big dark hole of lonleyness, depression, sorrow, hurt, blind, numb, fucked up, mental, ill, scared, paranoid, crazy, done... If i leave i know, that you would be laughing you wouldnt cry JUST FUCKING WATCH ME SUFFER ABUSE MYSELF TO DEATH AND YOULL LAUGH YOUD BE HAPPY. and as i say goodbye, noone will here me. shit. worthless. lonely, nothing. wasted. IM FUCKING DONE! LET ME GO GET OFF ME IM DONE!!! its all clashing down nowhere to hide, trapped inside, wanting to die, wanting to cry, burst, break, can't breathe, its all inside, i have to get out before everyone comes down, i'm sorry to you all for making your life misrable. Something in my brain is missing or snapped, i can't reconize myself, im going dark, nothings helping im getting crazier, getting worse, its taking control of me its killing me, all over, its not normal, its killing me all over, im blind, im stuck, about to break, a chemical embalance, im different. my hallucinations make NO SENSE IM NOBODY WHO AM I I DONT KNOW WHO I AM. im losing my mind idk who i am its the end, wait stop talking, there coming in suits killing me, why arent i normal? whats going on? laugh laugh feeling intoxicated mental retardation out of it delusional fuck man im losing it, im going insane, idk who i am, help me, lost 40 lbs idk who i am real bad hallucinations, try to kill myself, my amazing friend Oscar prayed with me, cared, comforted me, helped me, he saved me brought me to God. I WANT DADDY. WHATS GOING ON? repeated phrases over and over in my head in my mind its broken, IM SCARED, "circles and squares for people who cares" i wanted to die, stayed up all night in the hospital bed, for 20 FUCKING HOURS. nothing makes sense.... BAD.EPISODE.SCREAMING. there after me, i dont know whats going on whats happened to me, ive changed for the worse NO NOT THE CHANGE. idk whats real and whats not, im not in reality, im in a dream can't wake up WHEN WILL I WAKE UP? my life is crumbling, Johnny is becoming real, bad anxiety, mom called 911 WENT TO ETS MENTAL HOSPITAL, CUZ I WENT CRAZY, THEY TOOK ME AWAY DONT TAKE ME AWAY WHY DID YOU TAKE ME AWAY??? IM JUST DONE AND OVER... bye :( *Good Daddy/Bad Daddy; So this is how it all started, so on 3/18/14, Tuesday, i tried to commit suicide, the night before i pulled an allnighter with my iPod, and pulling allnighters effects my medication, i was hearing my dads voice talking to me, saying, "im coming back" "no your not you little bitch so shut the fuck up" "im coming back nomatter if i like it or not" the next day at school i went AWA around campus. i was already pissed and triggered, i missing my dad, so i told my teacher and i went AWOL twice, the 1st time i ran i tried to jump in front of a car and my staff saw me and the OGI van was already chasing me, i refused to get in the van, they took me back to the school, i got out and went AWOL again, try kill myself, the van chased me, i fought to get in and this time the staff escorted me to the residential dorm quiet room, i got in 6 restraints 4 escorts, i selfharmed with my nails and i was damaging property. i had a whole bunch of people talk to me i screamed "i wanna go home" everywhere, i started hearing and seeing things, i didnt go home i went to ETS mental hospital, in an ambulance, all this shit happened cuz i was being unsafe, now i learned my lesson. *NXSP; ~Underestimated~ My Storryyxx 8/12/14 Sometimes, its not what it seems, its not reality, could cry and hurt myself for hours not sleep pull allnighters one day after another im bloodshot my brain is sufficating you can see all the hurt and pain in my eyes, im scared, wanting to die, take my family with me, im just so messed up, im done with this shit the mentalness the non functionality the disorders, im tired of me, im tired of life, im tired of everything. im just, darkness. ON 8/7/2012 In progress... okay its now 5:02 P.M, Johnny's awake again, ready to start raising hell, hes in process or "processing" hes adapting, ready to posess me, imma take off the motion detector im FUCKING BLOODSHOT READY TO FACE DEATH IM TO UNSTABLE IM TO DANGEROUS. and the wires, well white wires, trying to break free out the locked doors , so sweet, the dectectors on the doors the wires on the walls, the blood on the ceiling, the dreams that crash my mind MAKE ME FUCKING BLIND. myself broken to peices, 2:00 AM still up slaving myself, about to go out on myself, wanting to hang, but its just a thought, an addicting thought, the pain and suffering theres no end to the feeling, im down. almost about to become someone else, the transfering starts as i transform into someone dark, a dark shadow waiting to come out and kill the light, as the blood drips down me, on everything, my wrists, so silent, then i scream, cuz im bloodshot, eyes you can barely see nomore, cuz there full of blood, clear for water, the wires falling down, and strangle herself, now its 5:00 am, still awake ready to start it all over again. xx {.} isnt it funny? its like im a completly different person, no touch with reality, yes i do agree ive changed for the worst, mental in the head, my brain doesnt function right, and im different, im not normal stanger to myself its like im a complete stranger... mentally unstable, physco, not normal, im so ill, like im a complete stranger FUCK IT MAN. to crazy for normalcy NO FUNCTIONALITY THE PERFECT FUCK MY LIFE. insanity insane ive dissapointed all of them WHO AM I? nothing.. to bad for me, haha isn't it funny??? "Ms Function or KnoqoutToCrazyyes.no.or.maybe." *Flyerway; (POEM BY ME ALISA MONEE ALVAREZ/SARA BERGER) ""Have you heard the news lately, i was born to be dead, meant to be someone, but now imma noone, so now i blaqout, see you later, well maybe... Open your eyes, see yourself cry, die, break, and fade away, heartless and cold, stone cold, broken and empty, noone else knows, the pain that unfolds, the dark side of your mind, mental and lonely, how come you never told me? some reason or excuse, to keep me from me, is it because im to crazy or im sick in the head? all those stories you told me, when i was a baby, something changed right inside me, then i grew up for noone, had no love and acception, then i became different, to crazy to function, my brain is defunctioned, im old and unstable, but i am not able, to pay back the life i was grown to, crazy and physco, noone to hold me, sing rock'a'bye'baby. I guess i was born crazy, mentally ill, built a wall i cant break down, these chains tied right on me, broken and knoqued out, have you heard me lately? i am noone BUT IM BECOMING A SOMEONE I FOUND MYSELF AGAIN, THROUGH GOD, HE SAVED ME, IM READY TO BE HEALED TO BE RECOVERED END THE DARKNESS, GET BETTER, END TREATMENT, IM FUCKING READY YOU BITCHES CANT STOP ME, Im not gonna lose it all, go all out, make stupid ass choices, no dangerous stuff, imma maske the right choice I LOVE YOU GOD, THANK YOU@!!!!!"" POEM BY ME. THE END. *Johnny "JJ" Garcia/The Ends/Erin Ramos; ~Break In The Dark, Molero Fever~ Myy Storii xc :3 8/7/2012 "JJ"s awoken from his sleep, Putting Liz and brother's fire out, tonight ...Hes awake, hes awake,please save me, i cant control him anymore, i cant fight him anymore, not even for you, please mom come and save me, make him dissapear so i can see the stars again, Johnny, are you wake? are you ready to raise hell? i knew youd come back, are you gonna just stand there or are you gonna try to take over me, no no no dont touch me, to many people to much noise to much sound, no shut up, rock back and fourth, no mom please fly here tonight and save me, please no no no dont die Preston, are you really in the hospital? no hes not bleeding, open your eyes, JJ do you copy? send Preston to The Ends, the end of WHAT? no Johnny let me go, PLEASE LET ME GO, is that him? no no no no no no NOOOOOO lET GO OF ME. don't touch me DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME GET THE FUCK OFF ME. hes not dead, he cant be, im bleeding, Johnny stop not there, no i need you mom, no Johnny, no Johnny your not me, your a liar, NO IM NOT NOW HOLD STILL, IM GONNA KILL YOU, NO JOHNNY, PRESTON, MOMMY, hes now awake, processing, Johnny to Constance, send em all to The Ends, put there fire out, NOW, I SAID NOW BITCH... *Constance McMann; Saturday, 2:28 pm, Auguest 18th, 2012, Constance i need to ask you something. Dear Constance, i know how hard you worked to take care of me, but i still cant be here, alone, in this spot, sure i call you and i ask if theres a way to escape "JJ" but your answers always the same, "pull the red wire" but i dont know where it is, so please tell me, i love mom i really do, i cant choose between my real mom, and you Constance, your my sister, i call you my mom, but YOUR NOT MY FUCKING MOM. Liz Ramos, OUT... Thursday, 7:29 pm, Augest 23rd, 2012, and in the dark, he must remain. *NXSP/Erin Ramos/Liz Ramos; Things Erin did wrong... 1. told JJ about the red wire, 2. mentioned "the thing", 3. told JJ "L"s number, 4. pulled up a knife to Preston, 5. told JJ that Lisa is "L". Aye, call JJ back @2:30, call mama, to pull it all out, the numbers of "US" make the dreams harder, follow the red wire to kill it all, all the Garcias all the McManns, i thought i was outta sight, but im back on, calling Lisa 60 times a day until he kills, i dont know who, but it all means something, Lorene, i thought the socket was already electrified, i shaked and shaked, now look where i am, look where Preston is, sick as hell in the hospital bed, stop calling Lisa, im asking you Johnny, im not, im not, IM NOT break out with the green wire, i know you can, what about late night? i made a contract for the program, now JJ put me on level drop, 4RF, bitch, now I...I...shit here he comes, calling me, OH SHIT. -.- This is a blog i wrote when i was at my level 14 residential treatment center. Tuesday, 6:51 pm, Augest 21, 2012 LIFE OUTTA JOHNNYS SIGHT, WHO FUCKING TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU SO... why JJ did you open up a new story on us, not willing to even notify me, ive been in the program for 4 fucking years, and you never mentioned "The Thing" to me, im one of you guys, i had sight put on me, and now you want me to uninstall it? JJ get it thru your damn head that im a part of "US" im not going to The Ends i know hes in the hospital. you told me he was sick, i thought you were a liar, but i know its for real this time. the outsiders think your nothing but a freak, unexsistable, fake, but i know your real, i dont want to get a new master, im out of sight, forever, this is me Elizabeth Ramos..... oh my fucking god Erin, can't you see Liz doesnt want you or need you, just shut up, i dont want to hear it, shes outta sight all because of you, NO JJ ITS NOT MY FAULT, please just give me one more chance i dont wanna go to The Ends, im sorry i mentioned "The Thing". No Erin, times up, the red wires been pulled, and its all BECAUSE OF YOU. now we have to live outta sight, and Elizabeth, when she finds out Johnny cant be her master, and ill tell her the excact reason why. Im Erin Ramos this is me... bye. What do you mean? are you saying he left? AGAIN. i know Liz, all im saying is he can no longer posess you. then how the hell am i supposed to raise hell? if it hadnt been for Erin, we wouldnt be in this fucking mess, this would have NEVER HAPPENED. no CeeCee you know what this means, were gonna be sent to The Ends, if one "Ramos' pulls the wire, all the "Ramos" will be taken to The Ends. Do you know how low functioning Erin is? NO. I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF HE IS. SEND HIM TO THE ENDS, IM NOT GOING DOWN THAT ROAD, being a "McMann" HELL NO. Liz, im so sorry, i should have told him, its not my fault, ITS NOT MY FAULT... This is Elizabeth and CeeCee. nite bitch.... Okay Tuesday, 8:38 pm, Augest 28th, 2012, this is Plumb and Erin Ramos, JESUS CHRIST HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN YOU? for all the time ive known you, like 2 years? shit, Erin hasn't even told Johnny about you yet, Plumb. i know your my friend, my step sister, but i have to tell Johnny, if you want to be a part of "US" i have to. But what if he doesn't approve me for the program? WELL THEN GET YOUR ASS UP AND START THE PAPERWORK. what paperwork? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID? youll be sent to "The Ends" if JJ hears that, dont you EVER deny paperwork, oh and dont mention "The Thing" either. whats "The Thing"? Dont tell JJ that i told you what "The Thing" is, alright? i promise. okay "The Thing" happens excactly on December 30th, 2012. YEAH AND? what happens is all the wires will be pulled, and every person that asleep while its happening will be sent to "The Ends" Erin is gonna be sent to "The Ends" regardless, i know you like Erin, but hes your step brother, he doesnt even know you exsist, well im logging off, nite o> *Michael Alvarado-Alvaro/DANCING Squares/Veronica&Victoria Enxxelia; [[[[ -----Will You Believe Me If I Went Insane? (These are TRUE REAL Stories I had written in CHYC treatment center back in 2012, these are 100% real, about my hallucinations and me going insane, my stories && my raps.) X'd Out Bitchz-----]]]] 7/12/2012, Ronnie Irez, Coded, got in the shower half naked, sat there crying, digging deep into my skin with the blade oh I pressed it against my skin, watching it bleed, the blood rushing down, brings me to my knees, don't feel no pain, but I'm enjoying it, the blood dripping on the floor, but I don't care, just stand there, watch me bleed, at that moment I jumped and hit the ground, no tears came out, oh hell no, I tried to move but I couldn't, I was stuck, this is just payback for my choices, I tried to get up but I couldn't move a muscle, well this is how I am, visions of killing and fighting and burning down this place, so I got up and climbed out the window, I pulled out my gun, pointing it towards my mouth, thinking of death, suicide, ending it all, Johnny's got me now and I'm just fine, I assaulted 5 cops, and I ran, so faraway I couldn't be found, the world is cruel, it's full of pain, all I think about is numb blank fucked up thoughts, that's all I want to do, all I ever wanted, so I pull out the lighter and my cigarretes I smoked until I fainted, getting faded, and it all turned black , oh I'm so sad, so sad, full of pain, now I feel it, now oh I regret it, bye mom bye dad, see you later, oh no . *Charlotte McMann; 7/12/2012, fire and flames, last week was the day I did it, now I regret it but I did it, I tried to kill my other, I walked into his room and tried to choke em' watch the satisfaction on my face grow, to see him in pain, to see him suffer like I once did, tried to kill em ' all to take em' where daddy is, so we can all be together, and burn this place on fire, and kill every fool in this damn place, yeah I said it, and I'll do it , hell no bitch yo getting in my face, I'll fuck you up before you can blink, have a nice rest while I knock you out, see you in hell, cuz dats where yo ass is going, can't you hear me? can't you hear my voice or are you just ignoring it . yes you tried but you didn't make it, sorry for your loss but it's not my problem, well goodbye have sweet dreams cuz when you'll wake up it will be dark and empty, burning like my soul, like my heart, like the diamonds in your fire , cuz I'm no liar cuz yo just a fake, the cops are chasing me, you'll never catch me, cuz dats just me. Cold and over, shivering outside , the rain is falling down , try to make it through, oh sorry no I can't, I try to walk my way , but there's nowhere to go, my home is so far away, I'm cold and alone, where are you ? I need you, lead me the way I need to go , oh I need to know , where I am, where I need to go , before I lie here and die, my bodies getting old, I'm just laying here like a stone, bodies tense, muscles to hard to move, can't seem to make it any further , come on, come on , your almost there, you may not realize it , but you go to believe, just a few miles away , yes you got to believe, crawl faster, get up , please, I don't wanna see you so broken, I wanna see you try, climb , run , please please your almost there, don't give up now cuz your getting close, your thinking why try harder? but you've got to before you die and get taken away from me, I've already lost enough, I can't stand losing you, leave me like this, shattered inside , cold inside and out, skin scratched and bruised and bleeding, I'm so cold , can you see through me ? if you can please tell me, why me why now why does it have to be this way , why does it have to end like this? *Contance McMann/Erin Ramos; 7/14/2012, see your face, burn down the house, watch it fall, try to stop it but it's no use no more, later that day she burned in a fire, I ran in there, tried to save her, but you know what , she was already dead, the body was turned to ashes, I picked it up trying to bring it back to life , opening eyes like a pleasure, there were red and bloodshot, I had a mental breakdown put it in my trunk, road off the bridge deep into the ocean, we drowned to the bottom, I passed out then I woke up in a hospital bed , body scarred, face burnt, I looked up and there was Constance , I was scared, didn't mean it, I saw your face Constance, please forgive me,it was just a vision, just my mind playing tricks on me , I sorry I was sweating now I got up and slipped and fell when I saw your face, I jumped I was scared oh Erin not now , please not now, I grabbed your body and hid it, JJ killed ya, oh I saw your face , yes i saw your face, it was gone forever. ^.^ *Flyerway && Eddie/Edgar/Chillwax Alejandria; 9/3/2012 My last step, baby it's gonna be okay, don't worry ill be alright, I tried to tell you but you never listened to me I don't care anymore, what you say or what you think, I'm in pain, all over my body, the scars are infected, my life is over, as I inject the last shot of meth, I say goodbye hopeing I would die , die slowly in pain, I light the candles there on fire, I step into the bathtub, water burning, I take my last step in life, I try to cry but it's impossible to me, I'm in so much pain, I can't take it anymore , JJ is after me , trying to kill me, I just want to escape , I'm melting and falling to peices blood all over, ready to die, but then I see you, your face is shocked, you yell and cry, I can't stand to see you hurt, I try to crawl out, but it's to late, body is numb and now all I hear is sirens ringing, your crying, police trying to save my life, I feel so numb, but I don't care, this is the end and now I say, goodbye... *Elizabeth Ramos/Constance McMann/Charlotte McMann/Josephina "Paid2Kill" Hernandez; xxGotNoPleasurexc -"Seeing Me, Elizabeth Ramos , It's Like Reading A Nightmare" (my hallucination alternate life) , by me Sara Berger/Alisa Alvarez- _____Walk into the classroom with your head held high, say hello to everyone inside, my greetings warm and friendly, but when I go outside I remember that I don't have a home, and I feel alone, remember the day I dressed you up for school? The day I cried when I said my goodbye? As you got on that bus and drove away? You don't know what goes on through closed doors, at school everything seems fine , I sit down and do my work quietly and I see all my friends, and act like it's all alright , I'm scared to get in the car , what's gonna happen as soon as I leave my second home? Behind my smile and my hard work and kindness is someone broken and damaged, I can't show it besides behind closed doors. I walk into my house , no parents home, my sister Constance Ramos is inside sitting on the couch, waiting for me to come in with my substances, I pass out the liquor and the cocaine and get high every second of the day, I never had real parents cuz my dad was a physcotic killer and my mom got sent to jail for drugs , aggression , and sexual assault. My dad abused me 24/7 and put a gun to my moms head countless times, and beat her till she bleed and suffocated, he was a serial killer addicted to meth and crack cocaine, and my whole life he beat us to death , tortured us, till we blackout, and cut us up, and abused us to death. Finally he got sent to jail and he killed himself, so I didn't have a dad, no parents, I had to raise myself, my mom was so traumatized that she got Alzheimer's, she was like a 2 year old, she couldn't take care of me and she had physcotic episodes, then the police came cuz she started shooting her shotgun at the wall and all around the house and then at me as she was screaming "I wish you were dead, just like your father, go get raped or killed and kill yourself" she was not in reality she got hijacked and possessed and thought I was her husband and thought I was someone else, she didn't knew who I was, I was like a stranger and so was she, just a blank cold dis activated stranger, she wasn't my mom she was an animal who didn't know reality, and I was like bait to her for her physcotic episodes, then she drowned my head in the tub and burned me and tortured me worse then my dad as she got possessed, she shoved my head against the wall beating me and suffocating to death and stabbing me and torturing me, then she took her shotgun and pointed it towards my head, before she raped me while I was on the toilet and injected drugs into me, the police took her away and I moved to a foster home. The house parents were drug dealers, and they were crude and physcotic, they raped all the children and murdered them, they tortured us like a murderer would but we had to keep it a secret, shhhhhh they said, very quiet, they abused us bad and attempted to kill us, mainly me and this other kid Erin Vanity, we both got brain damaged , our bodies were bloody and scarred , I took Erin in as my little brother and we grew close, but he was low functioning as well, so I had to teach him, one night when we were sleeping I got a call from the neighborhood police department , saying my mom died after she got arrested she jumped out of the car and into the freeway, so I never had parents. I went through 24 foster homes where we were tortured and on drugs, finally me and Erin were on the streets for 2 years doing crazy physcotic illegal shit and killing , and that's where I met this girl named Constance Ramos who was also on the streets, she took us in and we became family , The Ramos Family, we lived together , and then Johnny Garcia came into our lives, he became my master , and me and him and his father Presly got possessed and raised hell (definition for torturing killing and doing physcotic insane and murderous Satanistic shit) he was my master and were physco insane , dysfunctional killers, and we raised hell all day and all night, doing the craziest shit u can think of, and I came home to Constance snorting cocaine and Erin smoking and having a physcotic episode, trashing the house and he was mentally 2 years old. I had no family all my life has been trauma, so I continued to raise hell with Johnny , then he took us to NXSP , a world of controlled programs we went there and raised hell like Satan would have but worse, we became physcotic killers , everybody was, finally I had a home, we were controlled and possessed and our minds were controlled and damaged and we were controlled by our minds and by our programs, I went there to raise hell , I came into the real world and they possessed me and I was out doing crazy physcotic Satanistic shit just as bad as in NXSP, I went insane and my mom was out of it (my mom in the real world) , her little girl was gone I became possessed as Elizabeth Ramos, raising hell and I still had no one so besides being physcotic and living in NXSP and dealing with possessed possessive insane hallucinations and turning me into a possessed physcotic person, i pretended to be fine. I came to school like nothing was wrong, I said my hellos and friendly greetings, but behind closed doors I was raising hell in NXSP, going crazy as Sara and Elizabeth, doing crazy shit in both of my lives. You still don't know what happens behind closed doors, cuz it isn't what it seems, when your seeing me, Elizabeth Ramos .

[isaacathom]

alternatively koshi is a hufflepuff alongside Rien, which probably bothers her for quite a while. not being with rien specifically, though she’s not a huge fan. but being a hufflepuff. it doesn’t make sense!! why isn’t she a gryffindor? or a slytherin, as her classmates shyly suggest. shyly, because with the bad reputation of the house preceding it, koshi takes great offence to the suggestion of being a slytherin.

also when i said mudblood, i meant muggle born. i forgot what the fuck shit was called. so rien and saval are supposedly both muggleborn. rien is actually ‘just’ a half blood, though this isn’t known until someone points out an uncanny resemblance to some wizard guy somewhere. maybe even at some event, idk for shit.

yengchu and koshi definitely play quidditch. yengchu becomes captain of the gryffindor team in her later years. koshi is one of the most ruthless players for the hufflepuff team and at least one of its victories throughout her time on the team can be directly attributed to her not being afraid to get down and dirty. whether they ever win the quidditch cup off of that is.. unclear (ill be real, i did research, and Man hufflepuff never even got the final once in those 8 years? jesus). she’d give it a solid go, though.

i dont know if saval or rien would want in. tamjol DEFINITELY doesnt. he doesn’t want in at all. he supports his friends though! sitting in the wrong bleacher with bright scarfs yelling and cheering. lovely boy. assuming they arent playing, rien is doing the same. saval would be a lot more subtle about it but she is at Every Single game without fail.

uhhhhhh what else.... hmmmmmmm. i dont know enough about shit to say anything else, i dont think. if amali is a hufflepuff, dalen is.... probably a slytherin, actually. or a gryffindor. tamjol’s father, aka Dick Assholeson, is definitely a person who exists in the broader world. probably as just like.... a huge asshole. huge pure blood asshole. definitely a slytherin. whether all his kids w/ his first wife as also slytherins is unclear, but its probably the case. most of them are ok, tho. tamjol is definitely known to be a half blood but his father keeps it EXTREMELY secret as to the fact he’s remotely connected to the family. So when people see Tamjol present with the whole Shonyul family on 1 3/4, for starters Hintero isn’t even there, its Elion and like. a butler or smth. And when someone asks hey, who’s the kid, Elion says it’s the kids of a ‘friend of hers’ who wasn’t able to come himself. Tamjol shrugs and gets on the train. He doesn’t sit with the Shonyul’s after they get on, anyway. being a ravenclaw is not the worst house he couldve gotten into given his family situation, but it’s not slytherin, so it’s a bit :| I don’t think Elion was a slytherin, though as a pureblood she may well have been.

rien’s dad is... around? not sure what he’s doing. he’s probably not a teacher or a quidditch star, though. he’s prooobably a slytherin, given his being a noble in CSFY, but he could be a ravenclaw, idk for shit. ill shade slytherin for him. clearly not a, uh, blood purist, considering who the kids mum is. he probably has other kids in later year levels at hogwarts, though, who are probably pure blooded? statistically, right. either slyths or ravenclaws. they dont share thaaaatt much of a resemblance to rien initially, but there is a lil something uncanny. like sometimes you’ll catch them in the same bleachers for a quidditch match and they’ll turn to react to something you haven’t seen and you’ll get a look at their faces all at once and go Wow.... Rien sure does look like they fit. This isn’t the case for Tamjol since he takes after his dad (who was probably a half blood or muggleborn)

actually Elion and Brasteon were probably in the same house, which would therefore not be slytherin. so we’ll chuck em both in ravenclaw.

and actually now i think about it.... larusion wouldn’t be a pureblood. not just because we got Too Fucking Many of these bastards, but because their grandmother (Lani Koshidan) was, in CSFY, a regular person given a title. ergo, she was probably a muggleborn. So when lani’s daughter marries Dravulean, their child is not a pureblood. They are still heavily associated with that pureblood heritage though.

uhh yengchu is probably a half giant? purely because i cant think/find a half- creature which fits the csfy elves properly. its either half giant or part veela. veela would be funny for the fact that yengchu is a lesbian and her charms work on everyone except the people she would actually want to do out with. for comedy alone, we’ll say she’s part veela.

as far as ‘counterpart to possession’ goes, im not honestly sure how to handle the fact that Koshi sort of has that lurking around. my gut instinct is that she’s a werewolf, and that this is something acquired during her time at hogwarts rather than while she was young (ala lupin). that would almost certainly get her expelled though, like just flat out given the boot. plus like, How would that even happen? what was happening in there. was this at school? if it was at hogwarts itself, then she has a chance of being allowed to stay as a sort of... repayment for allowing it to happen to her by failing to keep her safe from it. which is pretty much the only way she’d be let back in. but then you gotta ask how the fuck an asshole werewolf managed to get onto school grounds during the full moon and how koshi ended up getting infected as a result. and also only koshi. like. What happened there. what the fuck. wh. unless there’s been a chain of werewolf infection going along, like someone got bit outside of school year and then at the start of the new year, full moon, goes nuts, Koshi is taking a quick walk to clear her head because she’s a feisty mother fucker, and bam. victim number 3. id baaaasically buy that. the other kids getting fucking expelled but due to Koshi being a sympathetic victim, she’s allowed to stay. right? none of her friends are animagi tho, so she’s sort of fresh out on that front. not unless tamjol decided to do so for his own reasons, to soooort of parallel to the ghost thing? im not against the idea i just dont know why he’d do it. like that’s not really his thing. his thing is divination and stuff. nothing to really do with transfig.

it really is the best parallel though, since it doesnt basically the exact same thing her pact does, just with more physical changing and less clarity. plus god can you fucking imagine if a student gets infected with lycanthropy AT school? fuck. that shit’d be wild. theres no way they’d get away with that. theres no way that noone else finds out that Koshi is a werewolf. like, yea, teachers WOULD be the first people to respond to hearing absolutely fucking bloodcurdling screams from a courtyard, but the idea that absolutely no other student would end up seeing anything? that no other Smart Kid will notice that they brought silver to the sick room? that noone has seen the attacker and that coincidentally one of their classmates isn’t around? that none of that classmates friends were aware at all about it? fuuuck no. someone knows. someone will spill the beans. itd only be able to stay quiet for so long. someone will find out about it. if they dont, rumours will still spread. Koshi’s a werewolf, fuckers would jeer.

theres no way. its too big a thing in universe that i dont really think it works. cause if she’s bitten outside of school then there’s reaaaalllly not a way for her to get back in, i dont think. like i dont think they’d want her back at school. and while in csfy koshi did drop out of school, this isnt... really the same thing at alllllll? so idk. having her be an animagus was almost fit, but not really? its rough. something definitely happens during her later years, though.

who else... Teyavion! yeaaa she exists. slytherin for her, pureblooded as fuck my dudes. if any slytherin was associated with death eaters, itd be Teyavion. defo not a quiddith player. her unnamed (?) boyfriend is likely also a slytherin. anyone else? PAIYATL! MY MAN! he’s a teacher. probably not DADA, but he’s somewhere. he is definitely teaching at school. he wouldve been a gryffindor. Payima, his eldest, is... a ravenclaw, i think! and then idk about the other two... possibly gryffindors? yea. ooh, ooh, larnani! uh....... hmmmm. gryffindor, probably! :D

so uhh tl;dr Rien is a half-blood Hufflepuff who thinks they’re a muggleborn, Tamjol is a half-blood Ravenclaw whose ‘father’ is likely a prominent magical figure of Some kind (auror, maybe?), Yengchu is a part-Veela Gryffindor who is the captain of the Quidditch team later in school (probs chaser?), Koshi is a half-blood Hufflepuff, possible werewolf, and likely beater in the hufflepuff quiddith team, and Saval is a muggleborn Slytherin. Amali is a Hufflepuff and Dalen is a Slytherin (of unknown blood status, amali possibly being pure or at least of a well respected half house), Larusion is a half blood Ravenclaw with their dad being like, a minister or Something. probably not the minister, but he’s up there. he is definitely involved.

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a mature adult considers their body like a trashcan, then you distinguish the daily strive that is doing whatever the fuck off miss while at the same time wanting to have a great person and enormous skin. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Ministers Ball but also seem 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did invest the weekend going through mimosas like water and ingesting sufficient food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who applies actual vitamins and minerals into her structure so her surface doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she chewed last darknes. So heres a roll of meat you should eschew like an ex-boyfriend slipping into your DMs and foods you should embrace because theyll sterilize your fucking heads. Damn, Ive went bars. DONT: Ingest Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even gobbles canned fleshes anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird infatuation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a blood-red fucking pennant that this kid was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and generates your body to hold on to sea, which is why your face is always puffy or you have bags under your eyes that can be seen from cavity, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and also be obnoxious on Instagram, dining salmon is a sure practice to get better searching scalp. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty battery-acids and healthy fattens. These fattens reinforce cadre membranes and nourish the surface to prevent you examining fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol just because you often say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre boozing to purge your form are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, specially the light-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual destruction when it comes to having clear scalp. ^ I guess every fitstagrammer when the find out they’ve been gushing liquid sugar into their temples bodies DO: Drink A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot tutor at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your surface. The more you know. Abide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These different kinds of smoothies are high in healthy flabs and wont leave your scalp gazing more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I investigated coming. Good-for-nothing that tastes this good can be anything but sabotage on your organization. And since Im not on my date rn in control of my torso I suspect Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can species this fun circumstance called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your mas. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with the most are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy ogling. So mostly chewing ice cream is aging you.* paces into oncoming congestion* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your scalp. So even though it preferences health and the whole time youll be pleasing you two are eating real chocolate with real flavor at the least your scalp will gaze good AF and be protected by wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick joke. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you likewise want me to commit homicide the next time someone responds everyone to ministries and departments email series? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my mentality around because coffee is literally one of the only rationales I get out of bed in the morning, and hence, the same reasons you get to experience this sparkling temperament. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( imitation word Im sure !) which causes your organization to lose liquid and your skin to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you require glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of drinking red-hot lemon ocean sounds about as enticing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and presents some very much support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of toxins boozing on daytimes that intent in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have nice things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by this list. Like, is person looking at my bank affirmation and be careful to ensure that I spend a great amount of my down time in coffee shop and/ or bagel browses? Because Im feeling actually criticized rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for dates.* prays this is phony report* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id rather deprived than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the toll we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right kind of carbs probs because it ogles miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve established will not only give you clear/ glowy scalp but likewise fightings against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To absolutely no ones surprise except my own because I refuse to read descriptions written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my merriment, soda is bad for you. And just because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda specially interrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your bowel. Too boozing various kinds of soda can really fuck with your skin. Like, reason rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Also, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant precisely drink vodka straight-from-the-shoulder. I want to have clearer surface , not succumb. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that looks good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my scalp. About damn experience. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life difficulties. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you require clear skin by the time this weekend’s brunch rosters around then chug some of this and simulate like its booze something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you rapture is perhaps fucking up your surface and you are able to cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not build the inventory, but thats largely because I refused to do any actual study that would substantiate otherwise. Who says you cant induce your own destiny? Listen, if all else fails and you have no self verify dont want to relinquish your joy theres always Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-46/

[tumblunni]

Man i'm remembering how raw all of Nami's early arcs were in One Piece and how much it sucks that she just got completely sidelined later on and increasingly turned into a sex symbol as well as being pushed further into the box of 'token weak normal human who can never win a fight' while usopp eventually escaped it. Oh except she can sometomes win sexualized fights against other sexualized women. *sigh* That moment where she got fuckin assualted ny an invisible man while naked in the shower and it was all played as sexy to the audience and sanji makes a shitty joke about wishing he had the invisible power to perv on girls and then EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT NAMI gets some damn resolution on beating up invisibiluty asshole and its clear the whole thing was just an excuse for the author to show tits and her feelings dont really matter. Oh and the fuckin literal soap bath battle with the lady whose power is magic soap that makes people extra slippery and shiny like JESUS CHRIST BRO

Anyway lets not go on for an hour about the bad nami stuff and instead remember the great stuff!

Like that FUCKIN RAW moment in her backstory arc where theyve played the reveal of her being part of Arlong's crew SO WELL that you genuinely cant tell if she was really evil all along and is really betraying everyone. And then they slap you right in the face with what seems to be a scene of her murdering usopp! And its just done so damn great and dark and shocking, like right down to the framing of it where it looks like he escaped for a second and then he barely has time to gasp out a word before she stabs him. And they let this ride for a decently long amount of time too before revealing she's not evil after all. Just enough time to sink in and make you believe it! And the circumstances of the reveal are SO DAMN GREAT, yo! I think its straight up the most badass heroic thing anyone has ever done in the entire series and i hate how it doesnt get remembered much or aknowledged as much as the bigger more dramatic fights.

Cos you see...yeah Nami was not in fact evil and was just pretending to be loyal to these villains because theyd been blackmailing her for years ans she had a plan to trick her way out of it and wanted to keep her friends safe from being involved (and loads of other complex shit!) But she REALLY FUCKIN DEDICATED HERSELF TO HER ACTING cos she knew just how damn dangerous these bastards are and how much it was gonna take to fool them. The real reason Usopp got cut off mid sentence into a strangled scream is because Nami stabbed HERSELF to fake killing him! She wrecked the shit out of her arm and rubbed the blood on him and told him to stay down, and then managed to not let out the slightest sound of her pain and continue pulling off her amazing fake villain acting while bleeding out underneath her sleeve. Its not really brought up again but from the degree of how goddamn much she injured that hand and how she wasnt able to get it treated until after HOURS OF HIDING THE PAIN, it probably would have left her with permenant muscle spasms and difficulty moving her fingers. And she's a mapmaker so thats an injury that would really affect her career for the rest of her life. She risked all that to save a friend who believed she'd betrayed him and was 100% down to fight at that moment! Like seriously they also had some great development with usppp realizing he was wrong and working hard to overcome his cowardliness and put his own life on the line to help save Nami later on. It was such a good arc!!

Oh and of course theres the entire context to this whole thing that this villain group actually murdered nami's mother when she was a kid and groomed her into joining them. And right from the age of like six years old she was already planning how to out-manipulate the manipulators and gain the trust enough to take revenge someday. And she faked joining the villains, faked being fine with it, faked not mourning her goddamn mom. She let herself be treated like a heartless demon child by everyone she ever knew, so she could make these monsters believe she'd betrayed them and thus someday save them all. Save all those people who never even fuckin believed in her! And the villain dude fuckin branded her like a cow and she was so traumatized she tried to dig the tattoo out with a knife and seriously man her left arm must be so damn scarred and i hate that they dont atually show it just cos 'she's gotta be sexy'. They used to show the scar underneath her life-affirming happier replacement tattoo, but it just got phased out around the same time her waist became 2cm wide...

Also it really fuckin sucked that this arc just ended with Nami's decade long plan to save her family failing and she cries into the dirt and then all the male characters save her aand defeaat the bad guy instead. Even worse that this started becoming a trend where every new arc from now on would have some sort of femle character who was very sad and her grand character development was admitting she needed luffy to save her and then everyone else except her gets to defeat the bad guy she has this deep personal reason to want to defeat. Sigh!

So yeh seriously Oda i know ur tryin real damn hard to amp every damn battle as the biggest thing ever now but nothing will ever be bigger than back when you had more simple fully realized concepts that gave the whole cast time to shine and aalso very specifocally nami who was the best most goddamn engaging character and you suddenly somehow forgot this. "Woman who is so much of a damn hero that she'd stab herself to save her friends who didnt even believe she wasnt evil" is like the fucking apex of what this series has ever achieved and i wpuld personally like to remember her always as the way she was in that moment.

Also seriously it would have been way better if nami got to contribute towards defeating arlong AT ALL, and especiaally if she could have dealt the final blow. Like yeah she isnt some beastly strong superpowers guy like luffy and co, but it would have been so satisfying to see all her intelligence and planning pay off! Instead of just bullshit 'arlong somehow magically knew everything she was ever planning and he only let her believe he was fooled so he could have fun shooting down her hopes when she got so close'. Nah yknow what would have been really satisfying and great? If we still had that moment but then it was revealed nami actually double-doublecrossed him! Like he's boasting about seeing through her whole plan and then suddenly he stumbles and realizes she poisoned his drink or something. Would have been extra mega double triple satisfying if this was after him actually beating all the main brawn-over-brain characters in a physical fight, and it looked like our heroes were all doomed but she managed to take down this guy they couod never hope to defeat. Though some very simple clever trick that he never expected because he underestimated her. And also this could work well to introduce the seven warlords kf the sea without immediately undercutting them, like if we clearly show that arlong actually WAS wildly out of their league and they genuinely could not defeat one of the warlords at their current power level, they just got lucky with a creative solution. That would have worked better than having zoro fight mihawk for literally no reason except 'i wanna prove im stronger than mihawk'. Srsly so much of zoro's goddamn honor shit seems so dumb on a rewatch, he outright stabs himself to give himself a handicap cos something sonething honor, and refuses to accept help because honor and fights people who didnt wanna fight him because honor and generally this looks more like signs of the man being suicidal, geez! Also stabbing yourself for no reason is nowhere near as raw as stabbing yourself to save a friend. Also zoro fuckin passed out from blood loss and nami not only didng do that but also completely hid her injury from a literal shark man who can smell blood. And stared him right in the face and lied about murdering her best friend. Nami is the highest goddamn power tier in one piece and if the creator cant figure that out then i have no interest in reading any more of it

WE ARE NAMI STANS FIRST AND HUMANS SECOND

[joegoodman94]

This screenplay of my dream that I just realised is a rip off of the beginning of Inception

Ok so basically this is the plot of my thriller. I dont want to hear anything apart from how good it is and can you buy the copyright and no you can't

So the whole things set in this supermarket and it starts off like a terrorist attack or hostage situation or something, there are people running about and the sense of panic but its also weirdly muffled in terms of noise. Some creepy looking guy is walking around the aisles carrying a gun but you can only see him from a distance but hes wearing black and it contrasts with the bright halogen glow of the supermarket. The camera tracks the long aisles catching fleeting glimpses of the man who has long black hair and black clothes and looks a bit dirty (exactly like Aragorn and is also played by the same actor).

Tracking along we find a woman with a baby cowering in one of the aisles behind a trolley and in another aisle a man in his 40s/50s who looks injured lying on the floor. OK now the scene keeps flipping from this scene of the supermarket and flashbacks from the perspective of the woman with the baby. All of the flashbacks take place in the supermarket or related to the supermarket and feature a man with long dark hair (going there on the way to a picnic with another couple), (answering a phone call from him while picking up some groceries on the way back from work etc) (driving past with the baby asleep in the back) its pretty clear that this couple are or once were a couple. The woman is distressed by the flashbacks and keeps scrunching up her vision out of distress. The baby is burbling.

After one of the flashbacks the tracking shot of the supermarket is when the camera turns the corner and comes face to face with the hostage taker. It is the boyfriend from the flashbacks, he is walking towards the woman and child. She makes for it and tries escapes out the fire exit with her baby but its locked and he gets her and takes the baby and puts it in a trolley seat on one side of him and she’s on the other side. He's telling her to calm down and not to do anything stupid and that they’re going to escape together, he just wanted to take the baby cos he could see she was making it upset, and then shes having another flashback that is getting closer to the truth (maybe him making them buy something in a rush from the supermarket and making the baby cry) and then back in the supermarket the baby’s crying and terrorist is pointing a gun at mother but she says something like "youve got the wrong person if you think im not going to go to my crying baby". Anyway this stuff is all really great and tense and you think its just going to be a whoddunnit about a woman with memory loss but extra scary cos supermarket terrorism and baby.

Anyway wait this is where I get stuck cos next thing that happens is she runs to the baby and then the terrorist walks off down one of the aisles and is being really creepy and then turns a corner and standing right there is himself, just for a second, and he looks back towards the mother and baby and then his self is gone.  So anyway you think hes going nuts as well. (This I think needs padding out, maybe go back to the mum soothing baby and maybe she can look at some stuff on the shelves and get memories or something)

Anyway after having built some more tensions Then theres another flashback something tender between the mother and a man that doesnt sound like aragorn and then theres a rush of moments from the previous flashbacks except its not aragorn its someone else and then that flashback ends abruptly and back in the supermarket from where aragorn has walked off comes the disabled man who was lying in one of the aisles at the beginning. The baby isnt crying any more and the mother is just staring towards the man and then she starts crying but its not clear whether its happy or scared or disoreiented and then the baby cries as well.. Once the man reaches them at first he's like jokingly "nice to know you care so much about me that your unconcious would either relegate me to the state of a disabled mute or replace me with a different person entirely, who was that man anyway - I feel like I've seen him somwhere before" and then shes like "Daniel (or whatever his name is) I dont understand whats going on, I promise I dont know who that man was, my memory, I cant remember straight" and then he's laughing and is like "dont you know where we are" and shes like "I'm scared Daniel can we go home" but she sounds a bit scared now and then hes like "you know id like to think youd be able to tell your real child from a fake one, Janey" orr whatever her name is and then she looks down and is like what do you mean" and then she stares at the baby and he's just like "who is the man Janey, who is the man" and hes clearly getting angrier and angrier and shes just like "I dont know I dont know" and shes crying and shes like "can't we just go home Daniel" and you believe her cos she looks so panicked and she starts to run towards the exit and he just shouts after her "we can't go home Janey, there is no home, can't you see, we're in your dream" and she stops dead in her tracks. Then he walks over to her and is like "Come on darling I thought it was obvious, whats going on here do you actually know? I would have guessed at a terrorist attack of some sort if there wasnt such a clear lack of interest in hostages. You've been blubbering for the last 10minutes and noone's said anything, it's almost as if everyones left - when did that happen. And for that matter wheres that man of yours, the one from your flashbacks - yes i saw those too - my intuition is good but not that good Janey, come on, we're in your dream. It's more than obvious to me: Ive never seen such a dishonest portrayal of our life, that cutey cutiness on the phone, you never did that for me, and as for the baby we both know you dont love it enough to risk your life for it. Who were you kidding with that. Wake up Janey, you've been dreaming long enough" this goes on for a bit hes does a hench monologue about how he loves how stupid she is but i also think he maybe shouldnt be quite as vindictive as this. Then evenetually shes like (and obvs this is massively abridged)

"What are you doing here Daniel, I mean if this is my dream?"

"What you mean youve never dreampt of me ever before, now how does that not surprise me. Maybe you should ask your subconcious why Ive been allowed into your beauty sleep"

"Well if youre in my dream I can just get rid of you"

"You can try"

"Or I could let you stay and make you love me"

"Love you - tell me, who was that man Janey? Honestly Id love to know"

"I dont have to tell you that Daniel, its my dream remember."

"Ok its your dream, but your subconcious manifestation of your husband is asking to know"

"My god Daniel when will you let this slide. You know who he is Daniel, you know it all...You know hes not my lover, as much as this isn't my baby"

Daniel still scowling

"I'll only ever love one person Daniel, why cant you believe that.You've always been so suspicious its like you dont think yourself worthy of love. I'm a good person Daniel, I gave you everything. We had our differences but thats what made us great - we were great together and I loved you. I loved you Daniel like I wish you loved me."

Noises become rly loud, we can hear muffled shouting at first then sirens and paramedics voices.

Instead of Janey, Daniel chokes back to life. He's lying on the supermarket floor blood coming of his stomach. Sirens are going, paramedics pile in pumping him with random shit. Janey is beside him with the baby whispering into his ear. CCTV footage shows a man pulling out a knife and stabbing him in the middle of the supermarket and then running out of the shop. Zooming in shows its Aragon.

THE END

So obviously this doesnt translate as well to paper but its all about building tension and staring into their faces and watching them have existential crises at every turn which works better in films (and dreams)

Also the whole thing would be massively extended with clever flashbacks that cross reference and build the characters into people

Alternative ending 1: Janey had cheated on him with Aragon but bcos he is convinced her subconcious admitted otherwise he can die happy

Alternative ending 2: They never actually had a baby, or their baby had died hence why she was clinging onto it so tight

Alternative ending 3: extend the story into the real world instead of just ending it as they woke up and it was his dream not hers

PS about 90% of this was from my dream, how zany.

I want to do more wacky shit with Aragorn like is there a way I could make it so for some of it you think we're in his dream or his flashback or something so thatyou keep thinking you know whats going on but actually you never do

Also I realise its kind of shit but do you think theres something workable here or is it literally just the plot of inception set in a supermarket?