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dragonfly0808 · 1 year

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The Heathers Soundtrack Essay: You Only Have Yourselves to Blame for This

(I may not be wording this as well as I’d like cause I’m sick as fuck and I’m not sure I’m thinking very clearly but I’ll try to be cohesive)

Beautiful

So, Beautiful is such a good start to our story. It’s an 8 minute track but not a second of it feels unnecessary or boring. This is a perfect track not just to set the scene and the mood of Veronica’s high school and the people there, but it also does a great job at introducing almost every single important character in this musical.

For Veronica I personally get the vibe of someone who used to be, and may still want to be positive but has just been worn down by the cruelty of not ‘fitting in’ and being deemed an outcast. (As someone who was bullied for years for the stupidest reasons ever -being short and reading- I really feel every lyric from Veronica.) Veronica in this song tells us, we used to be so beautiful as children when we were innocent and we didn’t buy into steroetypes and stupid societal hierarchies, why can’t we go back to that? I am pissed that we can’t go back to that. I want to burn this place down because of all the pain I’ve been given for no real reason. At the end of the song, she seems to regain some of her hope and positivity at the chance of being one of the Heathers.

Martha feels like she’s trying to cling to her positivity. Like someone who indulges in the fantastical for some good old’ escapism (‘I’m a sucker for a happy ending’) she just gives me barely-holding-on vibes from what few lines she has here.

Kurt and Ram, I’ll only say, they’re asses and they sell it.

The moment when they’re all singing and lines overlap with each other is beautiful. Like, everyone is struggling in different ways, even if not everyone shows it.

Then… the Heathers. They’re moment in the bathroom perfectly sets each one of them up. Heather McNamara as the ‘softest’ of the Heathers and the most insecure as well as maybe a tiny bit ditzy. Her intro sets her up perfectly but also, later on we’ll see just how many layers she has.

Heather Duke, she cares ever so slightly about McNamara but is a bitch to Veronica, snapping at her for no real reason.

And of course… Heather Chandler, the icon. She’s just bitchy but in an almost classy way that I can’t really describe and I love her.

Also, quick note on the bathroom scene: I find it interesting the way the teacher, Miss Flemming speaks in this scene. Like, she’s almost giddy to have an excuse to put the Heathers in detention and very clearly doesn’t give a single flying shit about McNamara throwing up and in fact makes it a joke ‘Perhaps you didn’t hear the bell over all the vomiting-‘. That to me could be a nod to those teachers who just make high school/school in general worse than it has to be. Teachers that target specific students or that try and make themselves feel superior in weird ways. You know which ones I’m talking about.

Right now, I have a specific teacher that loves to embarrass students and it’s really fucking draining.

But yeah, Beautiful to me may be my favorite intro track to a Musical. It just works so well, I love it!

200/100

Candy Store

Do I have to say anything about this song? Come on, we all love it. It embodies the Heathers, especially Chandler perfectly. Heather Chandler is a grade A bitch. She’s unapologetic and she doesn’t really seem to have a conciense and if it is it is tied to a chair and gagged. Like, I think Heather Chandler would either never really see the error of her way (more accurately, she does know it’s wrong but she just never cares) or she gets to a point in which she realizes that she’s a bad person and tries to change for the better. But that obviously will never happen for her character so she’s stuck in this place in time/in her life when she truly did not give a single flying shit about anything or anyone. And that’s what truly allows her to shine.

Heather Chandler isn’t supposed to be a tragic character, that’s what Candy Store represents to me, she’s horrible and doesn’t care about even her closest friends. But she’s forced into being a tragic character with a sob story by Veronica and JD later in the story. And it’s this fake narrative that changes how everyone looks at her.

In the song we also see a bit of the dynamic between the Heathers. Like how Duke seems to want the spotlight but is literally shoved back by Chandler. How McNamara mostly goes along with everything but also her line ‘if she had your shot, she would leave you to rot’ gives me teeny tiny projection vibes from her.

250/100

Fight For Me

I love this song. It’s so… it’s almost corny and cheesy but in the best way possible.

I don’t have much to say other than listening to this with headphones truly just transports you to another world, you really get into it and it’s awesome.

(Though I will never forget that time it came up on shuffle during a car ride and my mom just kinda stared at me cause, the beginning is literally just ‘Holy shit’ x 20)

95/100

Freeze Your Brain

I love JD so much… his songs may be my fave…

Freeze Your Brain is just so amazing, it gives you a lot of insight not just into his character but also his mindset at the moment.

He’s just kinda given up in a way, why bother with making bonds with other people if he’s going to have to leave eventually?

He’s almost drifting through life, untethered to anything or anyone with no real purpose. At this point, he’s still a frozen lake.

He doesn’t see the point but he still doesn’t want to straight up die. So he does the best that he can to not feel the emptiness and pain inside this. ‘Happiness comes when everything numbs, who needs cocaine?’

And of course, the best line (and my fave) in the song:

‘And when the voice in your head says you’re better off dead, don’t open a vein! Freeze your brain.’ This is also the only moment in which we see his shield crack a bit, his voice changes, and we hear a tiny bit of the pain within him when he hits the high note.

200/100

Big Fun

Kurt and Ram are assholes, Veronica is way in over her head, Martha is too pure for this world, Duke is berated by Chandler and Heather Chandler is a menace to society.

What’s new?

Also, ‘There’s no alcohol in this, are you trying to poison me?’ Made me laugh way more than it should have.

And, ‘Showing up here took some guts, time to rip them out’ … Heather?! What the fuck?! She’s an absolute menace and I love it. STEP ON ME!

Just a fun song to reinforce what we already know about the characters and to exaggerate the high school experience.

90/100

Dead Girl Walking

…she’s an icon. We know her, we love her. She’s a legend.

A bop to lose one’s viriginity to (I’m Ace DO NOT take that seriously)

But in all seriousness I love this song. Veronica is just spiraling and truly decides ‘fuck it’ and goes to JD’s house.

‘So the world’s unfair keep it locked out there. In here it’s beautiful. Let’s make this beautiful’. These are two outsiders, two ‘others’ finding comfort in each other.

I think this: ‘I know it’s cause you’re beautiful, you say you’re numb inside but I can’t agree.’ Is when JD truly falls for Veronica, I think he was always attracted to her but I think this was his …oh moment.

Aside from deepening their relationship and being (in my opinion) the moment they both truly fall in love it’s just loads of fun and a bop.

250/100

The Me Inside of Me

This is when the chaos truly begins.

Veronica and JD accidentally kill Heather Chandler and now they want to make it seem like a suicide. So Veronica fakes a suicide letter.

I… love this song. Honestly more because of the… almost critisism of society than the actual song ajajjajaa

So, as I said earlier Heather Chandler isn’t really presented as a tragic or misunderstood character. But that’s exactly what she becomes when Veronica literally manipulates her narrative in the suicide note.

Now, Heather Chandler is suddenly this misunderstood girl that no one truly saw. She’s more of a concept for people to project their own pain and fears on to.

The teachers that thought she was the devil all of a sudden are saying ‘Oh, we just misjudged her. This is the loveliest suicide note I’ve ever read’.

She almost becomes a spectacle (which Heather herself seems to love ‘I’m bigger than John Lennon!’). All of a sudden everyone cares when before, everyone hated her.

Then there’s the line ‘Heather would be so proud of you!’ Which just makes me feel icky in the best way possible cause like… how the fuck would you know that? You are the one who said Heather was misjudged and never thought much of her but one read of the suicide note and you know her mindset?

Idk if I’m explaining myself all that well but let’s just say that I love how almost ironic this is and how everyone seems to see Heather as a martyr and someone to project their own feelings on to. Especially since we only really get the reactions of outsiders, not the Heathers or her parents who actually knew her and were (supposedly) close to her.

They only see her as someone who just maybe may have needed help after her death.

I just love it

200/100

Blue

This will be short. I’ll just say that this song had no right to be that fucking hilarious. You could take almost any lyric of this song out of context and it’d still be either hilarious or absolutely stump you.

Like, first time listening you’re just like… what the actual fuck is happening? Third time you’re screaming along cause you just can’t not do it.

100/100

Our Love is God

Welp, this is the start of JD’s unhinged arc…

First off we just have gorgeous, gorgeous vocals and I just die at the final high note every single time ugh!

Now. First part of the song (pre Kurt and Ram showing up) is beautiful.

It shows what we already know to be true. That deep down both Veronica and JD are incredibly vulnerable kids who just want someone to lean on. Someone to say ‘You’re not alone’, someone to understand not just the pain, but the rage that can come from years of being picked on, of being alone.

‘Are you okay?’ ‘I was alone. I was a frozen lake, but then you melted me awake see now I’m crying to.’ SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

We also get a tiny peek, a hint at what will happen later in the song from the very start ‘They made you cry. But that will end tonight. You are the only thing that’s right about this broken world. Go on and cry. But when the morning comes, we’ll burn it down and then we’ll build the world again.’ We already know that JD is depressive and maybe even suicidal. We know that he’s kinda given up on life and is just drifting through. Then he meets Veronica, who dissolves the numbness.

Of course she’s gonna be important to him and he’s going to be pissed when she’s hurt… but we don’t realize just how far JD is willing to go until later on.

Then… Kurt and Ram show up at the cemetery and what Veronica believes to be a prank… ends up being real.

She watches JD kill both of them and slowly realizes that, ‘I worship you’ ‘We’re what killed the dinosaurs, we’re the asteroid that’s overdue’ ‘they died because God said they must, the new world needed room for me and you’. Meant something a little different to JD than what it meant to her.

I think the last part of the song can be summed up by ‘And it was at this moment she knew, she fucked up.’

350/100

My Dead Gay Son

Another song more on the comedy side, I love it. Now, while Kurt and Ram also become a spectacle, this one is least about them than it is about why they supposedly died.

Are there a lot of stereotypes in this song? Yes, but it’s set in the 80’s and also it’s comedic so I pass it.

But there are also a few genuien moments that… not gonna lie get me sometimes. I really love the way that the dad’s are truly like, you know what? I don’t care that my son was gay, he should’ve been able to have a good life and that’s what I want the world to know.

Also, ‘Go forth and love each other now like our boys would’ve done’… ouch.

200/100

Seventeen

…I am just… *screams*

While my fave track changes every 5 seconds, Seventeen is probably my most listened to track. It’s just so beautiful.

From the very first lines of ‘Fine, we’re damaged. Really damaged. But that does not make us wise.’ I knew this song was gonna wreck me. And man did it wreck me.

This is just, Veronica imploring JD to not go down this dark path anymore.

This song is, I don’t want glory or a legendary life, I just want a normal life. I just want to be able to take a walk around the park and eat ice cream with you. Why can’t we have that?

I love the concept of Veronica being like, I thought my pain and trauma made me want to strike a match and set this dumb ablaze but now I realize that I just want a normal, soft life. With JD.

Also, the fact that JD doesn’t sing until the, ‘People hurt us.’ ‘Or they vanish.’ Hurts me in ways that I can’t quite explain.

And JD is really willing to try, he wants Veronica. A part of him wants revenge and pain but a part of him also wants that soft life. To be seventeen with her.

‘If you could let me in, I could be good with you’. I feel like that line sums up Veronica and JD so well and it hurts. If you could just let down your walls, show me who you are and I know that we could be so good together, that we could help each other so much. Ugh.

And then… the outro.

‘Yeah we’re damaged.’ ‘Badly damaged.’ But your love’s too good to lose. ‘Hold me tighter.’ ‘Even closer.’ ‘I’ll stay if I’m what you choose, cause you’re the one I choose’.

…Murder me right now that would hurt less.

This song is just too much!!!

400/100

Shine a Light

I think this one is a really fun song with an actual pretty good message. You know, ‘Why not shine a light on your biggest fears? If we show the ugly parts that we hide away, they turn out to be beautiful by the light of day! Shine and your scars and your flaws will look lovely because you shine, you shine a light!’

I have so much fun every single time this song plays, it’s just really upbeat and I love it.

Also, Idk why I always picture Veronica and JD just trading glances and smiles during this song and it makes me want to cry.

Also also, Pauline’s part slayed.

120/100

Lifeboat

…so… this is when Heather McNamara’s mask fully breaks and we see just how vulnerable and scared she is.

Every line of this song is just… wow. (Fun fact: My theater group back in high school was going to put on a Heathers musical despite none of us being able to sing and I was going to audition for Heather McNamara cause I really wanted to do this song but then… fucking pandemic ruined everything)

This song to me is one of the ultimate break-down-moment-song. You can truly feel Heather’s pain and panic and fear. She’s trapped in this role, has to play it to perfection or she knows that she’ll be replaced or left behind in an instant. She knows that Chandler never cared about her and would’ve had no problem kicking her to the curb. She knows that she can’t let people in without being torn down.

‘Everyone’s pushing, everyone’s fighting. Storms are approaching, there’s nowhere to hide. If I say the wrong thing, or I wear the wrong outfit, they’ll throw me right over the side!’ …I couldn’t even process this the first time I heard it.

I just love this song. In less than 2 minutes we get so much context and depth for Heather McNamara. I feel like McNamara at least to me is the most tragic character in this musical before Veronica joins the Heathers.

350/100 Will make you cry

Shine a Light (Reprise)

This song is… panic. That’s all I really have to say. This song is panic.

100/100

Kindergarten Boyfriend

This is definetely my least listened to song but I listened to it the other day and I wanted to slap myself cause like, why don’t I listen to this more often?

Along with McNamara, Martha is the other tragic character even before the story begins. (Though of course JD is THE tragic character of Heathers).

Martha is lonely and probably depressed, just really good at hiding it. Her best friend stabs her in the back to join the popular kids and she learns that her crush never liked her and was gay (or at least she believes that).

She looks back at the days before the kids learned about the ‘ideal man/woman’ before they started to care about that shit, when they were just kids. ‘Then he woke up.’ NO SWEETIE.

‘Now we’re all grown up and we know better… Certain boys are just for kindergarten. Certain girls are meant to be alone.’ Fuck me.

But yeah… this song in underrated and deserves more cause fuck is it sad.

200/100

Yo Girl

This one is just so much fun. And we get to see Chandler shine again.

‘Martha Dumptruck took a belly flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night holding a suicide note.’ Veronica horrified: ‘Oh my god is she dead?’ Mythic bitch Heather: ‘Just some broken bones! Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably’

I love Heather so much.

And Veronica sees just how much this whole situation has snowballed. She feels so bad and regrets so much.

‘You’ve earned that red scrunchie, come join Heather in hell’ have me chills.

And of course, this sets us up for another JD song…

90/100

Meant to be Yours

I think you already know what I’m going to say about this one… VERONICA open the- open the door please-

I’m getting ahead of myself…

This is when we truly get to see JD become just absolutely unhinged. He goes a little crazy… and it’s amazing, I love it.

JD has slowly descended into madness. I think he loved having control for once in his life. Having the power to control the narrative of other people’s life for, what he thinks to be for the better.

He truly believes that killing everyone in the high school will make things better. And he wants Veronica by his side to do it ‘Bring marshmallows we’ll make s’more, we can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!’

Because their love is god. Their love can change the world. And maybe it could have in another life if they’d taken very different paths. If he’d become the lawyer he teased Veronica she’d marry someday.

But that’s not what happened.

Instead JD wants to take out all the pain he’s felt and tried to keep numb for so long. And he’s going to take it out on the people that hurt Veronica and made her feel excluded for so long.

He thinks he found the cure for the both of them, what will make them both better. And he’s desperate to have her by his side once more, ‘They made you blind messed up your mind but I can set you free’ ‘Finish what we begun’ ‘I am all that you need’.

And the best… ‘You carved open my heart! Can’t just leave me to bleed- VERONICA! Open the, open the door’ … ‘Veronica, sure, you’re scared I’ve been there I can set you free! Veronica don’t make me come in there. I’m gonna count to three! One, two- Fuck it!’

And then… he thinks Veronica, the only person he can trust, the only thing that’s right about this broken world, the person that he needs to go through with his plan… is dead. And it fully shatters him.

He needed her for the plan, but now that she’s gone, he’ll still pull through.

500/100

Dead Girl Walking (Reprise)

Veronica knows that she may be in a way responsible for JD becoming unhinged. But she’s going to make things right.

But, even as she faces him down and tells him to stop… she still loves him. She doesn’t know how this night will end. But she knows that she doesn’t want a tragic ending. She wants a soft story… but that’s not what she gets…

‘I wish your mom had been a little stronger. I wish she stayed around a little longer. I wish your dad were good, I wish grownups understood. I wish we met before they convinced you life is war. I wish you’d come with me!’

But JD has made his choice, ‘I wish I had more TNT.’

And to me ‘I wish we’d met before they convinced you life is war’ is the most painful line in this song… maybe in my top 5 lines of the entire musical. To me this line is kind of like, Our what if will always haunt me.

Because truly, what would have happened then? Would they have gotten their soft epilogue? We’ll never know.

300/100

I Am Damaged

Veronica said she chose JD in Seventeen. Here… JD choses Veronica. To make sure that she is safe.

He realizes that his ideas were wrong. That they’re both damaged… that’s he’s far too damaged. But he can see that Veronica isn’t. That she could still have a soft life… a happy ending. Even if he isn’t a part of it.

So he tells her to step back, to let him try and correct at least a little of what he did.

‘Hope you miss me, wish you’d kiss me’ … ‘And once I disappear, clean up the mess down here!’

And while he sings we hear Veronica pleading in the background, ‘Not this way.’ She doesn’t want to lose him. Even after everything.

250/100

Seventeen (Reprise)

Veronica is done. She has watched enough pain and suffering at the hands of stupid ideologies. She puts her foot down. Listen to me, we are done. We’ll lay our weapons down. Because at the end of the day all of us are scared and freaks in one way or the other.

And what’s important is they stick together with the people that matter.

When Martha asks her ‘Are there any happy endings?’

Veronica doesn’t know. But she does know that right now, she just wants to be Martha’s friend. To make up for everything. She just wants to be seventeen. She wants to be a teenager.

Maybe that will be enough for now.

And then… ‘If no one loves me now, someday somebody will’ because ouch. Because it’s true. Sometimes we’re alone. But sometimes isn’t forever.

(Has nothing to do with anything but I headcannon that McNamara joins Martha and Veronica and they form their own little trio cause that line ^ is all them)

Because at the end of the day, they’re teenagers. They still have time to find love. To love and to be loved. ‘Still time to make things right. One day, we’ll change the world, but let’s kick back tonight!’

‘Act like we’re all still kids, cause this could be our final chance!’

Seventeen (Reprise) is about… we still have time. So let’s make the most of it. Let’s let go, have fun. Let’s change for the better.

Let’s make things beautiful once more.

500/100

Ooooooffff hope you liked that cause this was a lot… but it was a lot of fun!

#heathers #heathers musical #Heathers songs #heather chandler #heather duke #heather mcnamara #veronica sawyer #jd #jason dean #martha dunnstock #ram sweeney #kurt kelly #musical #musical theatre #Musical songs #Too long posts

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raartblog · 9 months

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PUNK PLAYS PIANO

Fandom: Infamous IF

The piano in the green room was old, and the circular stains littering the cabinet's finish suggest that it spent much of its life here as a shelf for iced drinks and ashtrays. Running a hand over the rough wood of the cover, Tao could feel the years it witnessed as glorified furniture. It wasn't hard to imagine countless moments of drunken jamming, the hollow sound of hands slapping the wood out of frustration, a convenient surface for momentary lovers. A melancholy tune where no one else can hear. The piano stands still, aging and stoic in front of faceless musicians shuffling in and out, rising and falling.

Feeling a prickle of self-consciousness at the back of his throat, Tao looks around. The green room door sits ajar as the rest of OMOGO deposit their bags and quickly shuffle off to sort their instruments by the stage, their chattering an indistinct buzz of excitement that soon fades to silence.

The last time Tao played the piano was three years ago.

It felt a bit raw, to be recording an album so soon after Seven's departure. The band needed time to come up with three more songs to replace the ones Seven took with him, but it didn't seem like the others needed as much time as Tao did. All of his words seemed dammed up somewhere in his brain. He could feel them, wriggling like fish, squirming to be free, but guilt froze his hand. The next one, he promised himself. I'll be okay on the next one. Like he could take two steps to the left and look out a different window to a different world.

Even so, three weeks after, two days before recording, the band struggled to agree on an album intro. "We can improvise," Rowan argued. "Just jam out in the studio and come up with something cool!"

Iris disagreed. "We need as much time as we can get to record the songs that are actually written. We've barely had time to practice Purist or Karma Won—"

"Nope!" Devyn piped up, "It's Go, Gone now." Go, Gone, previously known as Karma Won, previously known as Pit Fire, which had ousted Patricia, was the most recent of the batch. It was a good song, but it was suffering from an identity crisis similar to its titling problem.

"Either way," Iris continued, rolling her eyes, "we need to settle on a final sound for the two of them, and this is our last practice we can all make before our studio time, and we've got to get it done in that one slot."

"Our songs are good!" Jazzy chimed in. "The whole thing is cohesive enough, we don't need to be cinematic about it."

Rowan stood firm. "It's our third album, guys! We've got our sound figured out, not to mention the fact that we need to start pushing the envelope a little, y'know? Back me up, Tao!" Tao blinked, not expecting to be roped in.

"Um. I dunno." He grimaced at his own hesitancy, choosing instead to pick at a loose thread in his sleeve.

"Tao agrees with me," Rowan said, turning back to the others.

"Tao!" Iris protested.

Tao puffed a breath. Seven had written the album intro, and in Tao's opinion especially, nothing they had come up with really had that synergy they were looking for.

"Does anyone have any ideas for an intro now?" he grinds out.

The band looked around at each other, mumbling. Iris put her hands on her hips and glowered at Rowan's triumphant grin.

"Yeah!" he said, throwing an arm over Tao's shoulder and trying to swing his legs up so Tao would catch him in a bridal carry. "Let's just get the ones we know out of the way quick, and we can totally figure out Go, Gone. Jazzy n' Dev can get together and finish it up, and the rest of us'll just follow their leads! Tao, c'mon! Hold me!" he whined. Tao allowed it, hefting Rowan's bulk up into his arms. Then he turned and dumped Rowan out on the garage couch. He vanished into a pile of coats accumulated over years of careless tosses with a dismayed wail.

As everyone filtered out of Devyn's garage for the night, a light pressure appeared on Tao's shoulder. Devyn popped around his side soon after. They always reminded him of a pet mouse. Quick, small, something always twinkling in her eyes, though its anyone's guess as to what. A pink mouse. The thought made the corner of Tao's mouth quirk up.

"Hey, what are you thinking?" Devyn said, a teasing lilt to her voice as she bundled another sweater around her shoulders. The October air had chilled considerably in the early darkness.

Tao shook his head. "What's up?"

"I just…" Devyn sighed. The quick exhalation caused Tao's stomach to twist. There have been a lot of little talks like this, and they never fail to make him like he has to curl up into a protective shell. "I know stuff with… y'know, figuring out new songs and stuff has been tough. It's been tough on all of us."

"I know."

"I don't want to rehash anything. I don't. But I think it'll be good for you to come up with something. It doesn't have to be a whole idea-- like Rowan said, we'll play around and figure it out together. But. Y'know. It might help." The suggestion took that curling feeling inside of Tao's stomach and threw it over his entire body. His shoulder hunched, and it took everything to shove his hands in his coat pockets instead of wrapping them over his chest like he'd been shot. "Tao?" Devyn's brows scrunched together as they took in his reaction. Worry on their face was tough to look at.

"Yeah," he choked out, cloudy breath hissing out of his nose as he took another, steadier breath. "Yeah. Maybe."

The creative spark never found him in the days coming up to the studio time, not that Tao could bring himself to even go looking for it. Even in the studio, where there was usually an intense energy and excitement, Tao found himself struggling to shake the rising dread as they recorded song after song. They all seemed to come so easily in anticipation for the most difficult moments of the day. The early momentum that had them high-fiving and running back and forth between booths to hear the mix died quickly like a smear on asphalt as they reached Go, Gone, re-named for the final time to Geraldine.

After Tao's ninth take, Jazzy leaned over and clicks the comm. "You're not listening to me," she said, spinning a drumstick between her fingers in frustration. "It's too angry."

"I'm basically singing about wanting to mutually eat shit and die," Tao snapped. "How else am I supposed to interpret that?"

"You gotta–" Jazzy made a wavy motion at him through the window with her hand. Tao copied it, bewildered. "Y'know!"

"I don't know! What the fuck does that mean? You-you want me to build up to it?"

"No– I mean, yes, but– um." She rubbed her face with her free hand, the drumstick spinning around in the other faster and faster. "Fuck. It's like. It's angry, but it's not angry. It's... it's the 'drowning' part."

"What about it?"

"I don't think it's working anymore."

"Fucking– Anymore?"

The drumstick smacks on the table. "I don't fucking know! Chill out and give me a second!"

"Whoa, whoa, guys!" Rowan stepped in, hands up and a pleading smile on his face. "Why don't we take five?"

Devyn was quick to agree over Jazzy's mumbled swearing. "I could use a snack!"

"No, I've got this," Tao bit back, shaking his head and the lyric sheet. He wanted to crumple it up in his hands and wring the words out.

"If you had it, it would've been done," Iris drawled. "We've been working on Geraldine alone for three hours. It's way past time for a break."

Tao groaned and ripped the headphones off his head. She had a point. They all knew Geraldine was going to be a mess. Even so, Tao couldn't help feeling like missing the mark every time was becoming a personal failure.

There's a ka-chunk as Rowan pushed open the heavy door to the recording space. Tao turned his back, preferring to see the neutral soundproofing rather than someone's face. "Heeeeey, Tao. You coming?"

"Give me a sec," Tao shot over his shoulder.

"'Kay. I'll grab you some Haribo-bo's from the vending machine."

Tao gritted his teeth. "Thanks." Despite his frustration, he couldn't help the glimmer of affection for his friend. "You can have a couple of mine."

"Ohhh, buddy, don't tempt me," Rowan sniggered as he closed the door behind him.

Silence.

Tao squeezed his eyes shut. When that wasn't enough, he pressed his palms against his eye sockets, letting weird patterns and shadows dance in the dark.

"Fuuuucccckkkkingggg shiiiiit," he groaned. "Fuck!" Releasing his hands, he blinked around the space. He glanced over the drums, the collection of guitars and basses hanging off the wall, over Iris's keyboard, his vision skittering around and around. A song like Geraldine he could usually knock out with ease. Angry songs, songs that shouted to push down the tears, they were his bread and butter. He had the voice, the look, the feeling, all of it. This sort of trouble should have happened with a song like Purist, a devoted love song with long, sustained notes scattered throughout, but he had delivered it in two takes. It was different from their usual fare, but Devyn and Iris were fucking inspired with that one.

Eventually, his eyes land on the grand piano. They had pushed it into a corner out of the way, but it was so big that it still took up a large portion of the room.

It always seemed to surprise people when Tao revealed his classical training—not that he made it easy for them to figure out. After all, he grew out of the clean, delicate form of a classical pianist long ago, much to his mother's chagrin. She despaired constantly about his piercings and tattoos, cried that he had ruined his future and reputation in favor of looking like a thug— even now, she refused to be seen with him in public. It only hurt a little. But he was tall. Scary-looking. His hands were large. He remembers being excited in high school for when they got large enough to comfortably play Lizst. Seven teasingly called him a virgin nerd when he talked about it.

Tao shook the thought from his head.

The piano was white. A little too stylish for the rest of the studio, but Tao didn't really care. He pressed a random key, expecting the near-painful twang of untuned strings. But the sound was clear. Almost instinctively, his hand played a chord to follow the note. Then another, until he found himself stuck on a D-flat. It felt familiar. Lazily, he plunked his ring finger against an A-flat.

The comforting form of Chopin's Prelude no. 15 rose from the wandering notes. When he was younger he often returned to it when he was bored of scales and warmups but reluctant to move on to whatever new piece needed attention. Seven used to sit in the same room during his practice time, humming idly along while doing his homework.

The repetition of the A-flat grounded him. He never got away from feeling like a fish laid out on the sun-baked rocks when on stage. Even after years of recitals, then onto performing with his band, the feeling never went away. It just became easier to push through.

Chopin's wife, George Sand, called the piece "Raindrop." A peaceful name. Another story claims it was written in a panicked haze after Chopin had a nightmare where he was drowning.

Tao could imagine it as his hands fell to C-sharp minor. A feeling of viscosity seemed to take over the sound, like Tao's head was being plunged underwater. He continued playing, pushing his hands through roiling water to strike at the keys. He knows this piece. And he could feel himself committing a violence to it as he bruised the keys. As the crescendo crashes, he's supposed to come up for air. The gentle plunking of the rain as a prelude to the sun returning. There's no coming up for air this time. He feels the energy weaken as the chords, still dark and stormy, wander into something else. He's improvising now. It sounded like the dull thunder of a heartbeat in his ears as he sunk deeper and deeper into the depths. It sounded like a funeral march.

"Keep playing like that, bud," Rowan murmured next to him. His guitar was already slung over his shoulder, his fingers finding their places on her neck. Devyn was nearby, doing the same on their bass. Jazzy was settled in her drummer's seat, nodding to Iris as she found her way to her keyboard. "I think we've got something we can work with for the intro."

-----

"Tao." Orion's sharp voice jerks Tao back to the present. "What are you doing in here?" The shape of a cameraman passes by Orion's bulk, following another band as they bundle past in the hallway. Tao sniffs, masking the sudden jolt of embarrassment and fear with a reflexive scowl.

"Drugs," he drawls.

Orion narrows his eyes, his laser-like gaze making Tao stiffen even further. "Get ready for the sound check in five," he says after a moment. "The rest of the band is already getting ready. Don't be late." Not waiting for an answer, he vanishes, leaving the door ajar.

Alone again, Tao turns back to the ratty upright piano. The cover creaks as he raises it slightly, just enough to slip his right hand under and depress a key. It sounds like shit. Only the keys in the higher range seem to have any tune to them anymore. It had been three years since he played the piano. He feels the ache, but he couldn't bring himself to stretch his fingers out.

In the back of his mind, a memory of a simple tune forms. Quietly, to himself, he plays a lullaby. Once, twice, until he forces himself to close the cover and face the growing noise of the stage.

(He doesn't notice a shadow in the doorway duck out of sight just before he turns.)

Songs referenced: Chopin Prelude Opus 28 No. 15 "Raindrop" Chuck Manginone -- "Lullaby" (the first theme)

#i'm very new to charcoal pls forgive me #infamous if #infamous oc #fanfic #oc: tao yi #i also don't write very much so uhhh

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stanfordsweater · 1 year

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happy wincest wednesday, ava!! what are your favorite samdean edits you've made so far? (top 5 or top 10)

thank you vicky 🥺 i'll do top 5! i'm sorry this is so late but wincest wednesday is more a state of mind, right???? RIGHT!

starting this off with my soft rock playlist because i'm gonna fail to ever make one of these posts again--i had a really good time putting the playlist together with several discord pals, which was essential help! i have limited knowledge of the genre and i was able to find some gems with their help, so: thanks to y'all <3 i like the composite feel that comes with the several images of different dimensions + i tend to shy away from these paler/overlaid filter style edits, so it was nice to push outside my (very shadowy) comfort zone.

fourth is a tie between this edit from one of my long time favourite songs and this dead in the water gifset! i couldn't decide because i like the first one for the fun narrative switch right at the end that takes it from sam's POV to dean's, but the second one is one of my favourite episodes and has a fun grimy look to it. all good things...

my third fave is unclean in the biblical sense because it really is the sam thesis, as i see it. it's simple, it's clean, and it distills several very important parts of his character in those early seasons into four gifs, which i'm quite proud of! i've seen other versions of this quote with various scenes but none of them have really gripped me and had me nodding along, so i had to make my own.

#2 is this season four parallels post because a. it's the first gifset i finished and thought that i might actually be... good at this... and b. not enough people talk about these VERY deliberate parallels!!!! i LIVE for them.

my this is how you lose the time war post is my number one. i am really proud of the colouring being so different for the different eras but still looking cohesive in the full post, in large part because it's fucking HARD to try to match the colour from kripke era to later seasons. this one was a unique challenge because it's important to me to match my edits with the vibe/theme of the original work, and that book handles time non-chronologically in a way i knew i had to echo with my edit. i felt i had to try to capture the way sam is so cordoned-off, even to the number one person in his life-- sam kept the amulet for YEARS. that is INSANE. his expression when dean finds out he had it this whole time is brain bending. having that in the script was such a beautiful way to illustrate the way sam works, which is that he has his own way to keep himself accountable and to remember the things that shaped him, ways he would never bring up to another person-- the amulet symbolizes his love for dean, his rebellion against john, his personal failures in season 4-- it's in his pocket every day to remind him of what he and dean were-- and then in season 11, with his sentimentality stripped bare in front of dean, it becomes what they are, here and now. and that's really neat.

#thank you 💘#wincest wednesday #many weeks late #.ask #alaynestone

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septembersghost · 1 year

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Sorry about the haylor in your asks but if it is atleast partly inspired by him that means that there must've been more to it than we knew. Like I still can't believe AYHTDWS was the saddest song she could come up with in 1989. I think that she locked her sad songs in vault because she wanted a fun pop album. Especially after people dragging her for red aka heartbreak album in that era. Even wonderland (arguably the saddest one in 1989) is bonus that didn't get much attention. Man I can't wait for 1989 tv

from what we've heard of his side, there was definitely strong emotion, and the fact that she addressed that situation on midnights (and potentially folkmore) at all lends itself to the idea that there could be more beneath the surface there. we know they went back and forth for quite a while. as you mentioned, something i feel is important to recognize about 1989 era is that she was projecting a polished, perfected image on purpose. she had exposed real devastating heartbreak before and been dragged through the mud for it, as far as the media goes, and the response to red back then was quite different than it is now, and we also know about her then making that conscious decision to pivot - into pop, into a "cohesive" sound, into sort of glossing depth on the album in order to seem more...assured and effervescent. she suppressed her romanticism and she attempted to hide how she was struggling. i know i've mentioned that era was really hard for me and i stepped back for a few reasons, but it's more clear now how she was grappling with a lot of difficult things. this is totally subjective, but i've always thought the most emotionally vulnerable song on the record was this love (or at least it's tied with clean), and it's telling it was originally a poem written earlier. she tried to shed that signature heart on her sleeve (even in interviews, 1989 taylor was often at her most cynical), and the sadness and struggles and pressure she locked up tight. it's still good writing, it's fundamentally a perfect pop album, but it's at a bit more of a remove, layered with the slick production, and more weighted with anxiety than sadness. and you're right, some of that was to keep it fun - if you strip AYHTDWS or IWYW or OOTW or I Know Places or Wonderland down to bare acoustics, they'd sound a LOT more sad. i am very curious if the 1989 vault has any of the more vulnerable writing, or if she didn't really lean into that aspect of her pen at the time because of what she was focused on creating. we don't know anything about the songs that could be there, i don't think? it'll be so cool to hear what she held back from that time, and interesting if it illuminates/redefines any of the album the way Red TV did!

#anonymous #letterbox #haylor #i'm really excited for the 1989 re-recording #though that's true of all of them for various reasons!

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kazumahashimoto · 9 months

Text

okay i said i was gonna rank them but i'm too indecisive so you just get my thoughts. here

SEASON 1 ENG

song's decent. i mean it's like CLASSICS of beyblade it's the first burst intro you gotta love it. it's kinda wonky and barely a song it's basically just this guy sing speaking to a vague tune but you can't hate it. i cannot hear the phrase "this is our time" without immediately following it up with "this is our moment"

SEASON 2 ENG

BEYBLADE BEYBLADE BEYBLADE BURST!!!!!! BEYBLADE BEYBLADE BURST EVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!! MANNNNNNN oh i can't fight the nostalgia on this one i used to loooooooove this intro when i was younger. shit is so good. and the LYRICS get me too like it's all the samey generic Uplifting type nonsense but it's still so. like awayugh. we're reunited. we can't be stopped. never give up never give in we gotta fight for what we believe in💔💔 i love this one. so good.

SEASON 3 ENG

TURBOOOOOOOO oh man this one is so good. "be a part of the legacy" fucks me up NOW. OF FUCKING COURSE. KILLS SOMEONE. like fuuuuuuuck it's so real. i hated this season so bad when i watched it but man aiger really did become part of the legacy. ALSO finally a really interesting music video to go along with it!!!! the first two seasons had Fine animations to go with the music but mannnnn they really started getting into it with turbo. it adds so much intrigue to these characters they're never going to focus on. i'm still bitter about it LOL. but the song and music video on it's own is really really good.

SEASON 4 ENG

RISE!!!!!!!!!! this one is definitely Good. it's super catchy but my favorite favorite FAVORITE part is the musicality they get with the four mains going RISE! all looking at the camera. i had that picture of amane holding up his glasses and smiling from that shot as my discord icon for aaaaaaages despite barely watching that season. i LOVE that part i CANNOT stop myself from following their movement it's so awesome. the music video for this one is still Good for suresies there's lots of cool amv shots. i think my favorite is aiger launching his bey in front of the full moon and then grinning. very fun. but it doesn't feel as Cohesive of a music video i would say as turbo's. but a VERY fun song i LOVE the way this guy scream sings it's so. hype. like fuck yes keep fighting for the whole world now we're the champions beyblade burst rise. so true bestie. love it.

SEASON 5 ENG

oh my god surge. what a different sound for this one!!!! i remember being super shocked when i first heard it but it's really good. never a miss with these guys i tell ya. VERY catchy. i think there's a little more musicality with the animation in the short version but oh my goddddddddd. this music video. is so. fucking. cute. and is that because there's more of the old characters in this season, well. who's to say. but the answer is totally yes. the fucking scene where it's hikaru hyuga and valt putting their fists together and they all pose and smile and we get to valt and he's all happy but then the camera shifts to him with his back to shu and valt suddenly looks sad and shu is sad and he looks off and gets surrounded by fire and he reaches his hand out and it gets swallowed by purple and black void referencing lain like AYUYHYUGHY!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!! THE CINEMATOGRAPHY!!!!!! do not even fucking get me started on the final tournament pairs getting shown off too like uuyyyuyhghyhghh i am not immune to seeing 1 frame of my sillygoofy and losing my mind. and look at how many sillygoofies there are. this season was when they started going HARD with the squish factor too so they all looks so cutesie ootsie wootsie tootsie it KILLS ME. UYGHG. but anyway the fucking song. it's good i love the loud bass in the back and how like chill this intro is. very different from the incredibly loud and energetic intro from the previous season. VERY FUN.

SEASON 6 ENG

this one is just okay. i think the short version is better than the full version which is pretty unfortunate cos the full one gets more of the music video. the full song just like starts and stops in weird places? like especially being more used to the short version you expect the energy to continue picking up but then it just drops you off and you're like what. ok. and then it's back up again immediately. disorienting. the music video for this one is Fine. some real cute animations of free lui valt and shu<3 but other than that it's nothing terribly noteworthy.

SEASON 7 ENG

see now this one is interesting. the beginning of the full song kinda reminds me of the type if emo nonsense i'd listen to while nightcored. fun stuff. looking at it from that lense the song is pretty fun!! this music video is probably the lamest we've had since like s1 and 2 though like there aren't many purposefully Cinematic shots that aren't just. launch stances from the show. kind of a bummer. seeing xcalius did make me a heem heem though ayouygh i am not immune. i shrimply am not. i do quite like the scene of everybody's eyes opening where it's all grayed out aside from their eye color. i do remember losing my fucking MIND when xander and ken showed up. very fun stuff. not a bad song. the musicality could definitely use some work though.

SEASON 1 JP

awwaaayiyhhh now admittedly i don't really have the same level of nostalgia for most of the japanese intros cos i'm a Dub Watcher but awayugh. auuyughg. the animation in this one is so much cuter. honestly i kind of forgot zac actually used to be important i choked when he showed up like WOAH!!!! I KNOW THIS GUY!!!!!! man i miss him. but anyway the song is fine

SEASON 2 JP

BURST BURST BURST BURST BURST FINISH!!!!!!!! BURST BURST BURST BEYBLADE!!!!!!!!!!!!! this one fucking rules. never a miss repeating burst and beyblade over and over again. you gotta love it. also in the animation i love when they have all the characters from the tournament line up and the heights are so fucked. i will never forget this one piece of fanart i saw where they had drawn joshua (NOT MY JOTCHIA I DON'T CLAIM THIS ONE) sisco ren wu and free all standing normal and then lui was standing on a box and xander was crouching down so they could all be vaguely the same height. love that shit. i miss the supreme four tails i miss them a lot.

SEASON 3 JP

OKAY NOW THIS ONE IS UP THERE WITH MY FAVORITES. like purely as a Song to Listen To this one is my favorite. it's SOOOOOOOOO nice on the ears i absolutely love how this guy sings it. it's similar to the english rise intro i would say with how ENERGETIC it is and the SCREAM singing like god this guy just goes for it you can HEAR and you can FEEL the strain in his vocal chords ugh i love it. i think the musicality of the music video is executed a little better in the english version? but the visuals are just so pretty to look at it doesn't even matter. INCREDIBLE intro. sucks about the season it's for. LOL.

SEASON 4 JP

now THIS music video has MUSICALITY. UYGH. IT'S AWESOME. i LOVE the little dance the main team does and they sing along the words. ugh. very cute. the song itself is very cute and fun and upbeat and i love that. it's quite bouncy i would say. two different interpretations of dante's energy i guess LOL english pairs him with such an aggressive and loud song but this one is jovial and fun and yeah BOUNCY. very fun.

SEASON 5 JP

oh man!!!! i think these are probably the two that are most different from each other? i still really like the way this song goes though it's very fun!!! it sounds like they got two different singers too alluding to hikaru and hyuga which is a very cute touch. there's a few animations we get here that we don't see in english INCLUDING ONE OF WAKIYA!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it's him showing off his new coat with the sun behind him. uygh. fucked up. also the freeze frame at the end is different here and there is a very cute scene of lain and shu holding their beys together A HEEM FUCKING HEEM. interestingly there's also some animations in english that aren't in this one?! maybe they're from one of the outros. who knows. but anyway song is cute

SEASON 6 JP

yet again as a Song to Listen To this is one of my favorites. i love the dip in vocals for the go burst go burst 321 go shoot it's so fun. the musicality of the video is better here than the english one i would say. more animations too. why. the fuh fuh fuck. does the english version keep cutting wakiya out of the intros. blasphemous i tell you. LET HIM IN!!!!!!!! HE'S SO CUTE HERE WITH HIS STUPID FUCKING CAPE!!!!!!!! also there's a scene of bashara walking passed ranzo spinning bell around in the air by his arms and bashara is wearing his dumb little villain green suit and he moves to hang out with rashad and iliya like a fucking dweeb. love it. they took so many fucking amv shots out of the english version it's crazy.

but ummmmmm yeah i love theym all. like i said never a miss with the burst intros.

#sparing you guys the scroll. it was a bit much even for me. i will not always be so merciful.#beyblade

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akocomyk · 11 months

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#Drama

It hurts to remember the good times I spent with him, and knowing that those moments will no longer happen worsens the hurt.

Listening to the music that remind me of these moments is just painful.

I'm just writing here 'coz I think it might help. So if you're reading this and see no cohesive theme throughout, I'm sorry.

Ya know. I'm not a stranger to these feelings as they're quite similar to when my mother died.

And... During those times that I was down, I was just here, writing whatever I wanna write without any care in the world.

I never cried after we broke up—except during the last time that we talked. I never cried when my mother died either. I feel the pain, but the tears just won't come out.

And then... I remember what a friend from the past once said to me, that it's okay to not cry since grief manifests itself differently for each one of us.

So... I may not cry, but I do other stuff. Like write. Or draw. Or sing. Do song covers.

I'm doing my best to move on. To rid myself of all these feelings the quickest way I can, but there are times that they are just way above my control.

I messed up, you know? It's unjustifiable, but then I keep on repeating to myself that he wasn't a good boyfriend, and he wasn't good for me. And I deserve someone who could treat me better—in any case, it's not even difficult for anyone to surpass him, considering that he gave the bare minimum.

Might as well savor and drown in the feeling of sadness.

#my life #thoughts #sawi

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randomvarious · 1 year

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Today’s mix:

Back to Mine by Danny Tenaglia 1999 Deep House / Downtempo

Well, this was definitely quite something. New York's Danny Tenaglia is chiefly known as a consummate conqueror of the packed house dancefloor, but here, with this third installment in the DMC label's popular Back to Mine series from '99, the DJ delivers a compilation that's wholly unorthodox.

Back to Mine is known for presenting mixes that are of a chillout nature, but this is actually barely a DJ mix or a chillout release. It's basically a jumbled up mess of songs, from the 60s through late 90s, that express Tenaglia's very own eclectic taste in music as it extends past the nightclub.

Guardian Critic Alex Petridis tries to gussy up this CD in the liner notes, showering it with ebullient praise by describing it as both slinky and seamless, but this feels pretty charitable on his part, because there's almost no cohesion between any of these selections and the transitions are almost nonexistent; a carefully crafted DJ mix this most certainly is not.

But that's okay, really, as long as you understand what this release actually is, which is a seemingly random scattershot of some of Danny's personal favorites.

Now, the heading in this post might feel a little bit misleading, because I've only classed this "mix" as being both deep house and downtempo, when in actuality, it's a bit more than that. But when I decide what genres to include in those headings, I only list the genres that have at least two songs to them, unless the release is too short or eclectic to do that, in which case, I list every genre that appears on the release, which is a pretty rare occurrence anyway.

So, while this CD has a few deep house and a couple downtempo cuts on it, it also has some vocal breakbeat-chill from Yello—evidently, that quirky electronic duo from Switzerland that gave us hits in the 80s like "Oh Yeah" from the Ferris Bueller soundtrack and "Bostich" still had plenty left to contribute in the late 90s—delightfully classy mid-90s acid jazz from UK group Outside, an innovative late 90s funky microhouse cut from Isolée, soulful mid-90s garage house from New Jersey's Kimara Lovelace, the second biggest hit of Ce Ce Peniston's career in her 1992 dancy R&B bop, "Keep On Walkin," a late 70s disco-funk classic from Roy Ayers, a mid-90s edit of the debut soul single from Oleta Adams, and a nice and fun piece of bossa from Sérgio Mendes & Brasil '66.

*panting*

See what I mean? A totally discombobulated smorgasbord of music here; like throwing a long playlist of your favorites on shuffle and plucking out the first 74 minutes and then putting some rudimentary effects on it.

So, there's some really wonderful music on this album that spans a bunch of different genres and decades, but don't expect any of it to sequentially make much sense, because there doesn't appear to be any kind of thoughtful narrative here; it's just a bunch of songs that Danny Tenaglia's a personal fan of, from obscure to popular. All in all, it's worth listening to because the songs are good, but if you think you're getting a different type of Danny Tenaglia set here, you're not. because you’re not getting a set at all. He even admits it himself in the CD booklet, but back in '99, you'd only learn that fact after removing the plastic-wrap from the jewel case, which presumably happens only after you've purchased the CD itself 😉. And given that the previous volume in this series from Dave Seaman was an actual chillout DJ mix, from a guy who's not known for chillout mixes, I can see how a bunch of people would end up with buyer's remorse from this release, because of its lack of coherence.

But it's still ultimately a good time once you come to understand it for what it is!

Listen to the full mix here.

Highlights:

Yello - "To the Sea (Original Mix)" Danny Tenaglia - "Loft in Paradise" Outside - "The Plan/Minty" Isolée - "Beau Mot Plage" Bang the Party - "Bang Bang You're Mine (Full Vocal Remix)" Kimara Lovelace - "Only You" Ce Ce Peniston - "Keep On Walkin'" Roy Ayers - "Running Away" Oleta Adams - "Rhythm of Life (Heavenly Edit)" Crescendo - "Cairo (Duke Monster Mix)" Sérgio Mendes & Brasil '66 - "One Note Samba/Spanish Flea"

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forfoxessake · 1 year

Text

2022 is over. The year in review.

It wasn’t a great year. This mostly post-pandemic year was filled with anxiety and changes. I could hardly focus on anything so there are only a few things that were truly memorable.

I was able to reconnect with music, after many years barely listening to anything, suddenly it was the only thing that I could enjoy without having to force myself to pay attention, I could just feel.

I found that I still pretty much love MCR and one thing I could focus on was watching the live streams from their Return tour, every night a different set list, different memories. It really helped me get through my days - funny how they are still out there saving lives 20 years later.

I saw 113 films, read 64 books and seen many series.

Here are some of my favorites, in no particular order:

MOVIES

Aftersun (2022) - definitely my favorite movie this year, nothing made me feel as much as the last 30 minutes of this film.

Petite Maman (2021) - there’s like 5 people in this movie, it’s mostly two litte girls playing around I loved every second of it.

The Worst Person in the World (2021) - being an adult is hard and we don’t have to know everything

Dial M for Murder (1954) - had a very special time seeing this, and it’s really good.

Mars One (2022) - another movie with a wonderful kid who dreams bigger than anything in the world

C’mon C’mon (2021) - my favorite films this year all starred little kids, there are moments here so precious

The Lost Daughter (2021) - my first film this year and I still remember it so vividly.

CODA (2021) - the big Oscar winner and I still agree with this decision, it’s precious and memorable.

The Green Knight (2021) - Not enough people have seen this, Dev Patel and Alicia Vikander have my heart forever

Metal Lords (2022) - made me remember my teenage years and why I loved music/metal so much

Licorece Pizza (2021) - I need to watch this again but I remember feeling so good while seen this on the big screen

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) - my second favorite movie this year, it seems crazy but its really not.

BOOKS

The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys: National Anthem by Gerard Way and Shaun Simon - I loved reading it, I remember not being very into the Danger Days themes and at that point not even listening to music at all anymore, coming back to things and falling in love with this world was a special thing.

I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes with Death by Maggie O'Farrell - one of the most beautiful conversations about death that I have ever read, here death it’s not something distant, it’s a thing that we brush hands with everyday.

My Life Had Stood a Loaded Gun by Emily Dickinson - I finally finished the Dickinson tv series on Apple TV+ and I just had to read some of her work, this collection was on my nightstand for many months and I read it over and over again.

TV SERIES

The Staircase - I was addicted to both the 2022 HBO tv mini-series and the original documentary from 2004, it’s a wild ride and it still makes me question so many things.

The Bear - at a time I could barely focus on anything, I managed to nearly binge watch this show, I can’t explain why it’s impossible to take our eyes off of it, but it’s brilliant and immersive and intense.

House of The Dragon - I really had low expectations for this and it blew my mind every sunday, it might be better than GOT.

Star Trek: Lower Decks - If you are looking for a comedy sci-fi series that doesn’t take itself too seriously and knows how to entertain and mantain a cohesive plot this is it. So far, three seasons of pure joy.

Irma Vep - Olivier Assayas had one of the most brilliant moments in any media this year and almost no one saw it, it’s a shame that so many are missing out one of the best tv series ever.

MUSIC

Past Lives by L.S. Dunes (2022) - I pratically lived off this album since it was released in past two months, its perfect, there’s not one bad song.

I’m probably forgetting other things that I liked, this is a sad list compared to other years and I will try to make better choices this year.

2021

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naho-monogatari · 2 years

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Soriku - Forest

Riku has been his trying to make things work over the last couple of years, he’s managing but he’s so lonely.

He and the rest of organisation XII live on a reservation as a rag-tag group of werewolves trying to work as a cohesive pack, despite not being related by blood.

Most of the time they’re in human form, but they love to let loose on occasion and roam the forest as wolves.

They love their forest, It’s a huge part of their heritage and werewolf identity. But with deforestation and the old magical ways being forgotten, their surrounding forest is slowly beginning to fade away.

They can all feel it, Roxas particularly is worried. He’s always had a deep connection to the woodland.

It’s hard to ignore, the fruit trees are barely blooming, the animal population is shrinking, even the bird songs seem to have turned sorrowful.

And to add to that stress, fox hunters have started trespassing on their land.

Being werewolves, organisation XII could easily chase them out, but they’d rather avoid being mistaken for a fox and getting shot at. They’ve been trying to think of a more ‘human’ approach to keep them out.

It’s October, the rainy season.

The hunters have been coming lately more and more. going deeper and deeper into the wild spaces.

The wolves stick close to them but out of sight, they need to make sure the hunters stay off their sacred land and burial sites.

On one night, all the members hid in the surrounding bushes, watching the hunters.

After a while, Roxas detached himself from the group, he noticed a strange string of mushrooms growing towards a nook in the trees.

Are these… star shaped mushrooms??

He wasn’t sure whether to be happy or concerned. On one hand, this was the first new sign of life in the forest for years! But on the other hand, aren’t mushrooms poisonous to the forest?

He didn’t have much time to think before he heard gun shots.

They had a plan for when this happens, scatter. Hide far away in wolf form. If you manage to get back to the house, call the police. Do NOT get caught by the hunters.

They acted swiftly, Riku was the fasted.

Riku hid around a dip in the ground, it looked almost like a big rabbits burrow. From here, he couldn’t hear or see the hunters, he was safe for now.

In his periphery, he clocked the strange mushrooms, when -

- a twig snap -

Riku was immediately alert. In his wolf form his ears were twitching towards the nearby sound.

He thought it could be just a regular woodland animal but something felt off.

He creeped closer to inspect, for some reason this part of the forest has luscious thick leaves and grass, making his visibility poor.

As he snuck in the bushes, he could tell that the creature was shivering, it was scared - probably by the gunshots.

Riku managed to get a clear view of -

A boy?

The boy was shivering and curled into a defensive ball. He was barely wearing any clothes, the ones he was wearing appeared to be made out of leaves.

Any observer would assume this was a child lost in the woods and got spooked by the noise.

But Riku knew this was different, the air was… strange. The boy didn’t seem human.

And weirdly, the forest seemed to be protecting him, folding around him in a blanket of leaves and bushes. Riku himself felt partially drawn to the boy.

Then there was silence. The boy looked up.

And Riku was left breathless at the sight of the ethereal tanned creature.

He was almost elf-like with his spikey hair and slightly pointed ears. His blue eyes were like a water oasis that could bless anyone he peered at.

His arms had markings, like intricate henna tattoos, Riku immediately knew what this creature was.

A forest spirit!

This was fantastic news, with a forest spirit residing on the reservation, that could save the forest! New plants, animals and the constant stream of underground magic could make the forest thrive like it did thousands of years ago!

IF you could get the spirit to set up their home there, that is. Spirits are only bound when they set up roots.

With that knowledge, Riku retreated home to the rest of the pack. It turns out Lea called the police and one of the hunters was arrested, but now they had bigger things to deal with.

Riku filled them in on his encounter and operation ‘home-sweet-home, spirit’ was born.

(Everyone hated the name but Demyx was set on it)

Over the next two weeks the wolf pack spent every day trying to make the forest more inviting.

They cleaned the ponds of any toxins (Demyx fell in a couple of times), cleared away dead tree debris (larxene swore for an hour after breaking a nail), planted a bunch of live flowers everywhere (the current flowers were wilted), and they set up offerings for the forest spirit.

In the old texts, it states that forest spirits tend to set their ‘home’ as the largest and oldest tree available, so the rest of the team made that tree the epicentre of their operation.

Offerings of nuts, berries, vegetables and even sweets (‘Xion, why would the spirit eat human food?’) were laid around the tree to make it as enticing as they could.

Nothing was working, it had been raining and there was no sign of the spirit or it’s movements. The offerings were soggy and pathetic by the end of the week.

But luckily those star mushrooms kept popping up along the paths, the spirit was still here.

The organisation was sat around a table in their makeshift house/ shack debating their next move when Roxas burst through the door -

‘Hey! Guys! The offerings worked!’

They dashed out to look - and the offerings were a mess. Clearly the raccoons had got at the berries and nuts - half eaten bits were everywhere.

But where the sweets were - all that remained were the plastic wrappers and underneath were tiny triangle mushroom buds. They were so fresh that the star shape hadn’t properly formed yet.

This was a huge success. They decided to keep a constant reserve of sweets by the tree at all times.

One rainy night it was Riku’s turn to put out the sweets, they discovered the spirit liked to eat at night. Riku was hoping to catch another glimpse at the boy.

He put down the sweets on a blanket and covered them with the cloth so they didn’t get wet.

He then retreated to under a nearby tree, the rain was getting quite heavy.

Riku was pretty much zoning out when a gentle breeze blowed through him, fireflies were bouncing in the distance despite the rain weighing them down.

The boy emerged from the foliage into the open space where the offerings were placed.

He was just as beautiful as the first time.

Riku stared as the boy tentatively opened the sweets and sat in the rain eating.

The boys’ head suddenly whipped around - he had noticed Riku’s presence.

Riku couldn’t move, to be honest, he didn’t want to - he wanted the beautiful creature to acknowledge him.

It was at this time that Riku looked at the state of the spirits’ leaf clothes. He had thick leaf-like trousers, no shoes and big leaves pasted to parts of his chest and arms. He looked cold and drenched, he was sat partially on the offering cloth and partially in a puddle.

Before he knew it, Riku was removing his hoodie. It was slightly damp but still warm from his elevated werewolf body temperature.

‘Here, have this to keep warm - you must be cold like that’

He said this in a gentle tone, he tried to avoid direct eye-contact incase that was a sign of rudeness to the spirit.

The creature spoke back -

‘Are you human?’

He took the hoodie and held it awkwardly in his hands, not even covering his body with it.

Riku blinked, the boys voice was full of warmth.

‘…Yes, well partly. I’m a werewolf, part human, part wolf.’

The spirit looked confused but intrigued. There was a long pause before he spoke again.

‘Do you know what I am?’

‘You’re a forest spirit…right?’

The forest spirit tilted it’s head.

‘Is that what I’m called now? Hah, this is all so confusing’

The spirit scratched at the back of his head in a sheepish manner.

‘… you don’t know what you are?’

‘No idea, I thought I was a ghost until last week.

Last thing I remember was dying… and then poof! I’m running around a strange forest with all these new senses and sounds.’

The spirit was gesturing dramatically with his hands as he spoke.

Oh! I’m Sora by the way, nice to meet you’

Riku was in shock at the spirit, Sora seemed so cute and boyish, yet untouchable and godly at the same time - like he held multiple entities in his one small frame.

Riku was also in awe, his confidence was bolstered by his interaction so he continued to talk.

‘I’m Riku, nice to meet you too… Listen, I don’t know much about spirits myself, but if you lived with us in this forest - maybe we could find out together?’

He looked unsure but hopeful, Sora however, looked like he discovered Christmas for the first time.

‘There’s more of you! Wow! It’s been so long since I’ve had friends. I feel useless on my own’

There wasn’t more than a second pause before -

‘I’ll be your friend’

Riku had never been so sure of anything in his life.

Sora put on the now drenched hoodie.

‘And I’ll be yours’

————————-

Part One done

Thank you for reading ☔️

This story was inspired by Peter Pan

#soriku #fanfic #kingdom hearts #kh sora #kh riku

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rottedsaint · 1 year

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Cryptid Oc !

Creature name: mother skinwalker

Human name: hanwi

Assumed human age: late 30's

Inventory; in human form she carries money, a scrap of the cloth that wrapped her child, a piece of soft candy (probably caramel) and a phone she barely knows how to use :')

she/they prns (doesn't really matter but those are the ones associated with her.)

they have a human and cryptid form, although whenever they take human form you can tell they aren't human. her voice sounds just slightly off, raspy but like t.v static, repeating certain phrases that you deem an odd case of echolalia. their skin doesn't feel normal. you know they aren't of the human race like they boldly try to convince you but don't argue.

in their more human form they take the shape of a female, quite tall (192cm), bust length black hair that naturally sits in big loose curls, pretty busty and a warm brown skin tone. light caramel eyes that look like they'd spill heavy globs of tears any second and freckles/beauty spots littering her skin. her makeshift sundress drenched in blood from the womb to their lower thigh. you hear this 'mother' call out for her child, her scratchy voice calling out "babe" or even "baby" in search of her missing child.

in their more cryptid form it's a mix between a wolf and a overly tall human, limbs all lanky and bruised even with the darker brown skin tone. her eyes obstructed by a black mass, almost cloud-like. you see patchy fur spots trying to keep theirself warm. in addition to being covered in rags. their body looks emaciated although you are forced to assume she carried a baby with the red body fluid covering her womb area.

she isn't hostile unless provoked. even in this 'true form' they can communicate, she seeks comfort for the loss of her child. (they still search for) if you dare well up the courage to get close they'll sniff you like a feline, attempting to put a little trust in you she'll nestle her head under your hand, physical comfort calms them very quickly. music also calms her, any slow soft tune you can hum will help!

she got her name 'hanwi' after being discovered by indigenous folks in the mountain timezone area in north america. they'd hear her wails and cries every full moon. many have attempted to harm/kill her but none are successful, anybody who knows of her and happens to see her ether shys away or the few that do try to calm her.

Trivia;

she gets more restless and easily provoked the closer it is to the full moon

she thinks moths r so cute and she believes if she still lived as a human in current time she'd have a moth garden <3

they like dark chocolate and old ballroom music/love songs from the 20's-40's.

when in her calm cryptid state she shrinks, somewhat bigger than a brown bear, but during this time you can make out her hushed mumblings as a prayer

Prayer; 'Angel of my Creator, My guardian dear, To whom my creator's love commits me here ever this day be at my side. Remain wary of the fraility of men, their wills are weak, minds young. To light and guard, to rule and to guide. blessed be the body mind and soul.'

if you are one of the few who ends up calming her, she thanks you with a trinket :) and a big lick/kiss (like a dog if in cryptid form, she will give u a kiss post panic episode in human form)

since she has a human form and has a cohesive consciousness in both forms, she uses that to form an identity and travel around the world to find her child. (she has different names in different area's but her most common name/title is mother skinwalker)

Cryptid Faceclaim; think of vicar amelia but dark brown instead of white fur, and covered in dirtied white/golden rags

Human Faceclaim;

#hanwi my oc #hanwi the cryptid #info ! 📜#oc interaction #oc rp blog #oc roleplay #oc #oc rp #cryptid oc

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gretagerwigsmuse · 12 days

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I feel like vault tracks created a monster. Now it feels like there’s this idea of “we want to hear everything”, so she’s just putting out a shit ton of songs because she knows fans will ask for more. I agree that some vault tracks are masterpieces and should have been in the original albums, but a smaller soundtrack forced Taylor to pick out, for the most part, the best songs. It feels like she’s putting quantity before quality lately, there’re so many songs on TTPD that sound really similar, there was no need to put out 31 of them. This album was a bit disappointing, I feel like earlier albums like red, 1989, even folklore and evermore that are not that “early”, are more enjoyable to listen as whole

i completely agree with you! no one was expecting a 31 track album today, no one would know if we didn’t have one? and you’re right, it’s definitely something other artists are going to start doing? i mean it’s one thing to release a deluxe album with a few bonus songs, but just…aren’t we tired? aren’t we fatigued? it’s definitely quantity over quality or like how can i be the first person to do xyz? all to make another dollar!

my mom and i were talking earlier about the album and i sent her the spotify link and she was like ‘i can listen to this for free? how does she make money?’ and i was like it’s because people buy all the deluxe albums in different colors with different surprise songs on them etc. i’m sure there will be a ttpd cardigan too 🙄 like it’s proving who is the biggest fan, who has the most easter eggs? it just reeks of over consumption like she’s trying to make a couple (lol) extra bucks now? girl you have more than enough money offset your carbon emissions more and speak out about legitimate causes?

i really like what carly rae jepsen did with ‘the loneliest time’ and ‘the loveliest time.’ they were released months apart, but still told a cohesive story that didn’t appear oversaturated? they each got their own time (ha!)

and the a side of ttpd was just…i didn’t like it. i think the b side was such a stronger album and think it should have its own time to shine as its own album? jack antonoff needs to be bared from the studio sometimes

#asks #thank you anon!

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lwveless · 2 years

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current spotify playlists, and the meanings behind them:

oh god i was so in love and for what : musically a great playlist, great concept. AND FOR WHAT???

im gonna die on this school bus : my bus took 25-30 minutes to go to school in '19-'20 and these were the songs i blasted at the time. so nostalgic i can't even fathom to delete

in love with figments of my mind : great concept again. strong musically. a quarantine playlist.

the feminine urge for older guys : for when ur friends bully the FUCK out of you for showing interest to any guy over the legal age at the young baby age of sixteen

güneşimsin : the magnum opus. musically not that structured or strong, but the cultural impacts... unexplainable.

i'm going back to 908 : :)

a decade of the hunger games : its LITERALLY the HUNGER GAMES

blue's boys : i wonder where they are now. me personally i want to put all of blue's boys in a house and put cameras everywhere like big brother. this playlist is the closest thing i have to that.

the april fool : i literally was the april fool cannot erase that at all

sun gods and their curses : while all of my anger is infamously stored in my boobs, all of my spite is stored in this playlist. most controversial playlist so far culturally.

red string of fate: conceptually and musically strong HOWEVER it is on thin ice considering its a relic from may '22

fay, the biggest blu shipper : fayby :) also the full title of this playlist is SOOO much funnier but it would get me shot

berfin nur and the six : in forty years fay is going to write this retrospective book and you can put your bets as to who the six are, and who's going to die at the end

my starboy, your stargirl : another may '22 relic but it's a VIBE

im psycho high : also vibe

psych ward (oysters) : oysters

i miss you more than anything : culmination of grief. no other reason.

mütevazi yunan tanrıçası : songs i listened to while a ve b darlarken

hard feelings/loveless : esa "dövmesi" kaynaklı. iyi çok iyi bir gündü. çok fazla abba dinleyenlerin acı sonu.

ill stay in the pool and drown : first color coded playlist with unbelievably strong musical points. an underdog overshadowed by the next playlist

god exists between people : most cohesive playlist yet

i love you / i'll pass : i am fleabag is me

ramona flowers : blue hair also musically girlboss playlist

gelecekten spoiler : takes the place of "the end." with a more emotionally cohesive musical structure when it comes to The End

do you see me in everything? : the impact glimpse of us had on the world killed all of us.

you're heavens incarnate : melting tribute playlist. a playlist about being in love when there's no one to love.

shame she's fucked in the head : a month and a half since you broke up with your first bf and when you miss him even though YOU broke up. then it culminates in this.

beach house in antalya : while güneşimsin is culturally a magnum opus, narratively this is my magnum opus.

my year of rest and relaxation : a different, more jarring playlist.

what will we do when we're sober : you can think you're in love when you're really just out of your mind

how we'd drift buying groceries : to everyone ive ended up breaking up with after ive talked with them buying groceries

the moon is beautiful, isn't it? : being born on a barely visible waning crescent, the day before a new moon, just means that all the suns energy went into creating a new sun

i ♡ sun : summer playlist! specifically august!!!!

#spotify

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anabsolutetrainwreck · 3 years

Text

in your rainbow paradise || h. styles

warnings: famous!reader, no covid/pre-covid, mentions of kissing

word count: 1.9k

summary: harry’s your date to the premiere of your new film...

The premiere of a new film was always nerve-wracking for any actor. Sitting through the first viewing of the finalised product, waiting for the opinions of the critics to start rolling in was a feeling you’d only become aware of six years ago when your first film came out. And now, here you were, preparing for the premiere of your eighth film. As well as nearing the six year anniversary of your so far successful acting career, you’d just celebrated five years with Harry.

For about four and a half of those wonderful years, you’d been the ‘it’ couple. Constant eyes tracing every move you made as a partnership and interviewers never failing to ask about marriage and kids. Truth be told, you and Harry were both young. You were at the height of your careers, or at least on the way to the climax of it. There was time for settling down later.

The night before a premiere was always the worst. You’d find yourself awake, sleep not even seeming an option for you. Harry would be asleep most likely, being one of the most carefree people you know. Most of the time on nights like these, you’d light a candle and venture out onto the balcony with a blanket and simply admire the empty streets below and the skyscraper-filled horizon. And, while these tranquil nights were heavenly to you, they almost always resulted in Harry scolding you for sitting outside in the bitter cold of the night. On top of Harry’s scolding, you’d receive the same from Danny, your stylist, for the bags under your eyes.

Yours and Harry’s stylists had worked together on your premiere look. They’d opted for a cohesive look, bringing small elements of Harry’s suit into your dress to make for a matching set. ‘Just one big look’ was how Danny had put it as you were at your first fitting.

The sound of a cheering audience approaching got increasingly louder. Your knee was bouncing slightly, Harry’s hand on your thigh. “They’ll love it,” he whispered, kissing your forehead.

“You don’t know that,” you replied.

He smiled, “They love anything you’re in.”

That brought a smile to your face. He was so supportive and it never failed to make your heart melt. Now Harry had had a taste of what it felt like to attend the premiere of your own film, he could understand the nerves you felt before every one. “Right, come on,” Harry smiled softly, leaning down to kiss you.

You got out of the car after Harry, being met with screams of fans. Putting on your best smile for the cameras as Harry leaned over to squeeze your hand. He guided you along the red carpet, his hand placed on your lower back. He couldn’t help but find himself admiring how gorgeous you looked.

Taking pictures with fans was always one of your favourite things at premieres. Getting to be so close with the people who admired you was a joy of yours. You always tried to chat with them, though that wasn’t always possible. You were just as excited to meet fans as they were to meet you, apart from the three times you’d accidentally dropped fans’ phones. The best part about bringing Harry along was that the fans usually wanted pictures with Harry too. “You look stunning, by the way,” Harry whispered in your ear.

“So do you,” You replied, turning to grin up at him. He squeezed your waist, pressing his lips to your temple. Your names were being cried out by photographers and various news outlet journalists. All you could do was smile, leaning into Harry’s side slightly. Posing for pictures was perhaps the worst aspect of a premiere. For two or three minutes you had to stay perfectly gorgeous, turning your head slightly and twisting your body to face whichever photographer demanded you do so. And then you’d have to do the same all over again on your own, Harry stood to the side sending you supportive grins.

A security guard ushered you along towards the hoard of journalists, their microphones outstretched. You could see your costar, Tom, take your spot in front of the photographers. “Y/N! Y/N!” a woman called, catching your attention. “Hello.”

“Hi,” you grinned, pulling Harry over with you. “How are you?”

“I’m great, thank you! And you? How are you two?” she asked.

“We’re good, aren’t we?” you smiled, looking up at Harry to see him nod.

“You both look wonderful, by the way. The matching outfits are beginning to become a bit of a trend between the two of you,” she said, admiring the outfits.

“I guess so. Our stylists are friends, so they like to collaborate on looks,” you replied. “I think this is my favourite, though.”

“I’m not surprised! They’re beautiful. And Harry, which of yours and Y/N’s matching looks is your favourite?”

He hummed in thought for a moment. His eyes trailed up and down your body, getting a proper look at the dress you were wearing. “Probably the Met Gala look. I loved that one,” he finally answered.

“That was a good one. Now, Y/N, how excited are you for your fans to see the film?” she questioned, her face lit up in an incredibly bright smile.

“Very excited. It’s a project I’m really proud of and I hope they enjoy it,” you said.

“I’m sure they will. Now, I have to say, people are predicting a few Oscar nominations from the trailer alone,” she grinned.

“Oh, are they?” you laughed.

“They are. What do you have to say about that?”

“It would be incredible to even be nominated but there are a lot of much more talented actors in the industry, so I doubt it’ll happen. We can always hope, though,” you said.

“Don’t say that,” Harry said, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “You’re incredibly talented.”

You grinned up at him, laying your head on his shoulder as a means to thank him. This man never failed to make you feel worthy. Your little moment was interrupted by the journalist grinning, “Get yourself a man who hypes you up like Harry hypes up Y/N. Well, it’s been lovely talking to you both.”

“And you,” you said quickly.

“Thank you very much. I hope you both enjoy the film,” she smiled, before turning her attention to Greta, the director. You quickly exchanged a hug with her, telling her how beautiful she looked. It had been almost a year since you’d last seen her on your final day of production.

You did a few more interviews with Harry, laughing and joking with him throughout. Besides, the fans loved it when you were both yourselves around one another at big events. Finally, you were doing one final interview before heading in to actually watch the film for the first time. “Hi, guys! It’s great to see you here today,” the interviewer smiled - though you were sure he was probably sick of the cheering fans and asking the same questions to the cast, only to receive almost identical answers every time.

“It would be pretty rude for Y/N not to show up today,” Harry joked, a cheeky grin etched into his features.

“This is true,” he laughed. “Now, Y/N, I just want to ask, this is your eighth film, do you have any plans for anything slightly different in the future?”

“What, like music? Yeah, I’ll just do what Harry did, randomly enter a whole new area of show business unannounced. Look out for my album, dropping next year!” you joked, earning a slight nudge in the ribs from Harry.

“Hey,” he frowned. “That isn’t very nice, Y/N.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you said. “Is your ego too fragile?”

The journalist laughed at the banter the two of you shared, feeling as if he was invading a moment of privacy slightly. You looked back to him, smiling sweetly, apologetically, “But to answer your question seriously, I am working on a project. Something is in the works. It’s a little bit different to acting.”

“Can we have any hints as to what it may be?”

“Something directorial maybe?” you teased, grinning.

“That sounds exciting. Now, I’m curious about the two of you. You’re both very talented in what you do. So, Harry which of Y/N’s films is your favourite. And, for Y/N, which of Harry’s songs is your favourite?”

You both took a moment to think about that question. It was a nice change from ‘Harry, when are you proposing?’ or ‘are kids a plan for your future?’. The two of you exchanged a glance, waiting to see who would answer first. In the end, it was Harry, “Probably Clementines of the Ripest Variety. I really loved that film and I loved Y/N in it.”

You felt your cheeks heating up; hearing Harry sing your praises, particularly in front of lots of people always made you feel warm inside. He rubbed circles on your bare back, where the dress didn’t cover it, sending nerves rippling through your system. Clementines of the Ripest Variety was a courtroom film you’d shot back in 2017 that had been received particularly well by the critics. It ended up winning the most awards out of any movie you’d worked on and it was some of your proudest work. That was why Harry loved it so much - he knew how hard you’d worked for it. “And Y/N?”

“My favourite song of Harry’s? There are so many incredible ones. I’ll go with Fine Line. Such an amazing song,” you smiled.

“Amazing,” the journalist grinned. He asked a few more questions about the film before finally saying, “Thank you so much for your time. Have a great evening.”

“You too,” you smiled as you and Harry left the red carpet.

Your feet were aching and your cheeks were sore from all the forced smiles you’d had to endure throughout the course of the evening. Once you were settled in your seats, you could finally relax out of the ever piercing gaze of the public. After a quick introduction from Greta, the film began. And you could feel the nerves that had been exploring your stomach beforehand slowly dissipating as you got lost in the flow of the film. You’d occasionally sneak a glance at Harry in an attempt to gauge his opinions before the credits rolled and you could finally ask him how he felt about your latest work.

He’d always smile whenever you were on screen. It was a habit he’d adopted for as long as the two of you had been together. No matter what you were doing on screen, he was just proud to see his darling succeed. Although, you were the same really. Whenever one of Harry’s songs came on the radio or he was mentioned in passing on the television, you became beyond proud of him.

As the credits finally did roll and your name came up in big against the blackness of the screen, which was a feeling you were sure you’d never become used to, Harry leaned over to kiss you. You smiled into it, feeling him do the same. “You were perfect, love,” he said.

“You’re too kind to me,” you laughed quietly.

“It was just an observation from a fan,” he shrugged, smirking.

You shook your head, laughing at him, “Was it? But, from a boyfriend’s perspective, what did you think?”

“I still thought you were perfect, my love.”

#harry styles #harry fanfic #harry fanfiction #harry imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry x y/n #harry x reader #harry x you #harry styles imagines #harry imagines

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