#it does get bread crumbs in my bed tho | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

magniloquent-raven · 2 years

Note

Could a I get trans!Tommy x Billy fic where Billy finds out Tommy is trans and he's freaking out but Billy just reassures him and comforts him until one thing leads to another and they end up having sex?

this ended up 1) a college au for some reason, 2) t4t because i started writing billy as trans without even thinkin about it at first lmao and 3) MUCH longer than i thought it would be, holy shit

i hope all that's okay & i really hope u enjoy ur fic 💕💕💕

~tag list ppl just in case yall are interested even tho its a ship ive never written before? @growup-thatbeautiful @spreckle @prettyboy-like-you ~

[read on ao3]

“Carol broke up with me again,” Tommy says, words slurred by the alcohol in his system and muffled by his forearm squished against his cheek. He blinks up at Billy from where he’s half-laying on the peeling cover of his algebra text book. They didn’t bother clearing the homework from his desk before dumping three six-packs and a plastic bag stuffed with snack food on top of the mess.

He’s usually a fun drunk, Billy wouldn’t have brought beer if he’d known it was gonna go like this.

But of course it’s because of Carol. It’s always because of Carol. Except that one time it was because of a phonecall with his mother that he refused to talk about, even after the tequila loosened his lips enough to have him waxing poetic about his ex-bff with a wistful look in his eye.

“Again?” Billy leans back in his chair, raising an eyebrow. He’s got one booted foot propped on the edge of Tommy’s roommate’s bed. “This is the third time in four months, man. Is your dick too small to keep her satisfied, or what.”

He’s supposed to push back. That’s how this works. He’s supposed to bristle and sit up and defend himself, because he has some fucking pride. And before he knows it he’ll be too busy exchanging barbs with Billy to think about how miserable he is about the breakup.

He’s not supposed to turn his head, hiding his face in his folded arms, and mumble, “Something like that…” all morose and self-pitying.

Because no one comes to Billy for this shit. To be vulnerable. To talk about feelings and have an honest heart-to-heart and a shoulder to cry on and all that crap people want when they’re going through a real break-up. He can put on a good face when girls come sniffing around for a rebound lay. The girls who got screwed over by their white-bread boyfriends and want to pretend they’re over it by getting fingerbanged in a public bathroom by some bad boy who won’t call them after. But fake sympathy and an uncanny ability to deflect questions about why he doesn’t want his touch reciprocated did not prepare him for…whatever is happening right now.

“Y’know there’s other ways to fuck a girl, right,” Billy says from behind his beer. There’s not much left and it’s still not making this conversation any easier.

Tommy groans, burrowing deeper into his sleeves. “I know.”

“Hm.”

“S’complicated.”

“Not if you know what you’re looking—wait. The break-up. Right. Look, you want my advice? Move on. Live a little. You came halfway across the country to, what, stay leashed to the same pussy you’ve been getting since you were twelve? Who the fuck does that.”

“Dunno.”

Billy blows out a slow breath, then downs the rest of his beer. He drops the empty can on Tommy’s desk and watches it rock, tip, and fall over. It rolls, wobbling through drying condensation rings and chip crumbs ‘til it hits Tommy’s elbow, coming to a stop next to his left ear. He doesn’t move.

The assholes next door are having an obnoxiously loud argument, only slightly muffled through the thin walls. The radio on Tommy’s bedside table warbles through a jingle that keeps cutting in and out. Neither of them speak for a long, awkward moment.

“...She really did a number on you, huh.”

Tommy sighs. “Nah.” He pauses, then peeks out from the crook of his arm. “Kinda.” He stares at the can nestled up against his arm, looking uncharacteristically contemplative. “Dunno, man, I just want people to stop leaving me.”

Billy’s lungs seize painfully, his whole chest tightening around the jagged edges of a sympathetic twinge, like gripping a shard of glass in his fist, cutting himself open on it. There’s anger dripping from that open wound, familiar and yet foreign in its compassion for Tommy of all people.

They’ve never been especially close. Billy’s not especially close with anybody, and he always figured hanging around Tommy would make it easy to keep it that way. The guy just gives off a vibe. The small town jock type, only ever wants to talk about tits and booze and whatever stupid, embarrassing gossip he can turn into a joke.

For six months Billy’s been content to do that, to hang out with Tommy drinking beer and pretending to care about the low-cut tanktops their English lit professor favours. It feels good, in a way. Safe. But it was never supposed to be about Tommy himself. He wasn’t supposed to care about him. Caring about people is dangerous. Makes it harder to cut ties if he needs to. Or worse, it means the inevitable rejection if he ever gets outed will actually hurt.

Tommy’s still looking at him, sullen and hazy-eyed. His freckles are just barely visible in the shitty lamplight, his hair is sticking up at odd angles, flattened on one side from laying on his desk. He’s kind of pretty when he’s not being a shithead.

Wait. No. No, no. Absolutely the fuck not. Not going there.

Billy tries very hard to look like he has no opinions about Tommy’s face. Or his stupid puppy-dog eyes.

He bites his tongue when panic tries to sharpen it. The anxiety bubbling in his gut turns to bile burning his throat, and it’s tempting to lash out, to spit venom like the sour taste in his mouth is anyone’s fault but his, like pushing Tommy away would fix anything.

He hasn’t seen Max since he moved into his tiny dorm room on campus. Hasn’t spoken to her since his acceptance letter came in months before that. He thought it would make things easier, better for both of them, but now he just gets angry at himself when seeing flashes of red hair makes his heart clench.

It’s only ever made his life worse, he doesn’t know why he keeps trying it.

The first time he let a boy fuck him he felt so shitty about it afterwards that he told everyone who would listen that the guy kissed like a dead fish and couldn’t even get his dick hard. It made Billy feel something, when people laughed and said that probably meant he was a fag. Something sickly and awful, but somehow vindicating.

He caught three meatheads beating the shit out of the boy who took his virginity three weeks after he lied about it never happening. The look on his bloodied face still haunts Billy’s nightmares.

Billy’s never made anyone’s life better by being in it. He doesn’t know what to say to someone who doesn’t want to be left.

“Yeah, I hear you, amigo,” he says grimly, and regrets it immediately. It’s too personal. Too self-pitying. It’s echoes of when is mom coming home, and a slap ringing in his ears, a phantom ache in his jaw, the taste of salt and iron.

He keeps his gaze locked on a tiny dent near the top of the unopened beer he reaches for, hoping to occupy his hands, only to be stopped in his tracks when clumsy fingers pat his knuckles. He’s not sure if it’s meant to be a comforting gesture or if Tommy’s just too drunk to keep his hand steady and was trying to grab ahold of him.

The look on his face is oddly intense, sombre, like stroking the back of Billy’s hand is the most important thing he’s ever done and it’s taking all his concentration to do it. There’s a little pinch between his eyebrows, and a slant to his mouth.

Billy should snatch his hand away, but he lets it happen. Despite his embarrassment it’s kind of nice.

“I like having you around.”

Well. That might be a bridge too far. Maybe. The tips of his ears feel hot. “Okay, I think you’ve probably had enough to drink tonight, Hagan.”

Tommy scoffs, his nose wrinkling a little.

“Seriously, if you propose to my hand I’m never buying you beer again.”

“Liar.”

“Don’t test me.” Billy can’t quite keep the laugh out of his voice.

“Pff.” He pauses, his fingertips coming to rest along the length of Billy’s thumb, pinky finger toying with the ragged edge of his nail. “You like having me around, right?” There’s a desperate edge to the question, a tremble that makes Billy nervous.

“I—” He chews the inside of his cheek, studying the sad twist pulling at the corner of Tommy’s mouth. “Yeah.” Maybe he’s drunk enough he won’t remember this tomorrow. Maybe that’s why Billy nudges his hand, linking two of their fingers together, a tiny smile tugging at his lips when Tommy gapes at him. “Yeah I do.”

Billy’s head pounds when he stirs, rustling unfamiliar sheets, and the light filtering in through crooked blinds makes his eyes ache. At least the cottonmouth isn’t too bad, and his stomach seems to be behaving itself. He’s definitely had worse, much worse.

There’s a groan across the room. He buries his face into the borrowed pillow tucked under his arm to hide a snicker.

“Shut the fuck up,” Tommy grumbles. There’s a whoosh of displaced air and a muffled thump. A pillow hitting the carpet. “Shit.”

“Nice aim.”

“Urgh.”

He doesn’t have class today, there’s no rush to be anywhere, but he’s never been good at laying around doing nothing. His first few weeks of adjusting to life free from Neil he tried sleeping in, rebelling against rules he was no longer bound by, but he mostly ended up staring at water-stained ceilings bored out of his mind. He doesn’t bother anymore. The entire life he’s building for himself is a fuck you to Neil, he doesn’t need every little thing to be about him.

He stretches, his shoulder popping loudly in the early-morning quiet, and glances over at the lump of blankets in Tommy’s bed.

“How’s your head?” Billy asks, not bothering to keep the smirk out of his voice.

Tommy grunts. The outline of his shoulder shifts slightly.

“That bad, huh.”

Another noncommittal noise.

Billy rolls his eyes, pushing himself upright and out of bed. His jeans are around here somewhere in the mess, but he doesn’t remember taking them off, and definitely doesn’t remember tossing them…over the half-eaten remains of last night’s pizza. Gross.

There’s a grease stain on the back of one thigh, but they pass the sniff test.

He’s wiggling them over his hips when Tommy finally sits up. “M’ gonna be sick,” he croaks, and falls out of bed in a tangle of sheets and oversized t-shirt bunched around his midriff. Billy gets a glimpse of soft freckled stomach and a yellowing tanktop before Tommy gives his shirt a hurried tug, smoothing it down with jittery hands.

He doesn’t look at Billy as he staggers towards the door, steps over discarded gym shorts, catches his toe on the busted folding chair his roommate keeps promising to fix, and finally slips into the hallway, hissing curses under his breath.

And Billy doesn’t think anything of it. Tommy’s never a ray of sunshine in the morning, and he’s even worse when nursing a hangover. He was focused on getting to the bathroom down the hall before he tossed his cookies all over the floor, he didn’t exactly have time to stop and make small talk. It’s not weird.

But it gets weird.

Billy waits way too long for him to come back. He tosses back the last of his flat, warm beer. Combs out his curls with his fingers, carefully rearranging them in the mirror propped next to Tommy’s sparse bookshelf. Picks through the crumpled worksheets strewn across the desk. And finally decides to check if Tommy choked on his own vomit.

Only he’s nowhere to be found.

And, fine, Billy’s not needy or whatever, he can get breakfast on his own. It’s not like they had plans Tommy’s flaking out on, Billy just kinda thought…

It doesn’t matter what he thought. It’s fine.

He goes back to his own dorm. Changes his jeans. Isn’t bothered.

…He’s a little bothered when he sees Tommy later that day and Tommy bugs the fuck out, all but fleeing in the opposite direction.

Because. Yeah, that’s weird.

Doubt starts to dig its spindly fingers in, thin and brittle but pointed.

They both said some shit last night. Which was Tommy’s fucking fault, getting drunk like that when he was in a mood. And he’s the one who kept trying to make it all touchy-feely.

Christ, he should’ve fucking known Tommy was going to remember, it was stupid to engage with him in the first place. Shit’s awkward now because he’s a fucking sucker and now Tommy knows it.

Or maybe it’s more than awkward, and Tommy’s straight-up pissed at him. Billy’s stomach curdles at the thought.

He can’t handle this. Tying himself up in knots because he got the brush-off. Worrying and wondering and chewing his thumbnail ‘til he tastes blood. It’s pathetic.

Tommy doesn’t have class today either, so Billy checks his dorm first.

And then he checks the cafeteria. The lot behind the cafeteria where Tommy smokes sometimes. Carol’s dorm—thankfully empty, he doesn’t feel like answering a million questions and then having his answers dissected by her and her friends after he leaves.

He’s running out of places to look when he spots Tommy next to a payphone in front of the main office. The walkway is empty, it’s just Tommy hunched around the phone, clutching it in both hands and deeply engrossed in his conversation. Enough that he doesn’t seem to notice Billy approaching.

His voice is low, but Billy catches snippets. Carol’s name. “Mamá,” sighed repeatedly, exasperated. He gets more agitated every time he stutters to a halt, apparently cut off.

“I just thought you should know, okay!” Tommy runs a hand through his hair and rolls his eyes skyward. “No—no, mamá, iba a traerla—yes, I was…”

Billy leans against cold brick, his denim jacket scraping the wall as he crosses his arms, waiting.

“Ese no es mi problema,” he snaps, glaring at nothing and getting steadily louder. “No. I’m not her precious little neita anymore, she can’t stay in denial forever!”

Oh?

Billy’s ears are ringing. Tommy’s voice is an indistinct buzz.

It could be nothing. A slip of the tongue. Billy’s Spanish getting rusty. It could be Billy reading into things—hoping, like that’s ever gotten him anything but heartbroken—just, seeing things that aren’t there because he wants to be a little less alone.

But still. He’s never seen Tommy wearing less than two shirts, and he's always been just as averse to the dorm's shared bathroom as Billy is. Sometimes tiny, incidental things will throw him off, but Billy never thought much of it until now. Until he was smacked in the face with the possibility that Tommy could be like him.

It feels a little unreal, a little like vapor he’s trying to catch with his bare hands, not quite solid but leaving enough droplets of water on his hands that he’s knows there’s something.

Tommy seems to realize he’s shouting, and glances around, worrying his bottom lip. It slips from between his teeth when he locks eyes with Billy and his jaw goes slack.

Because he’s been trying to avoid Billy all day or because he thinks he might’ve just outed himself?

Either way his posture immediately changes, going rigid, spine straightening, holding himself with enough bravado that it almost hides the way his gaze darts around, nervously scanning the empty sidewalk. Looking for an exit, probably.

He mumbles a rushed goodbye into the receiver, not waiting for a response before he slams the phone back onto its hook and folds his arms, fists balled in the crooks of his elbows.

“I swear to god, I’ll piss on your pillow if you take off on me again.” Billy pushes away from the building, pointing a threatening finger.

“I wasn’t—fuckin’—what the hell. Gross.”

“So don’t leave.” The words twinge as they leave his mouth, falling heavier between them than Billy really meant them to. Tommy flinches. Just a little. The tiniest twitch at the corner of his eye. A minute change to the slope of his shoulders. Billy exhales slow through his nose. “What’s the deal, Hagan.”

“Shit,” Tommy mutters, sweeping a hand through his hair and shifting away from Billy with a grimace. “Shit. Look, man, I don’t know what you think you heard, but it’s—I’m not. Y’know what, just forget about it, okay.”

Billy raises an eyebrow. He can feel his heartbeat racing, hammering at the inside of his ribcage. “Forget what exactly,” he says, keeping his voice even.

He has to know. For sure. He can’t just out himself for a maybe.

“Don’t play dumb, you’re shitty at it,” Tommy snaps, but there’s a thready quality to it. “I’m not gonna fucking say it. You know what I’m talking about.”

“Do I?”

“I saw the look on your face, man, I’m not stupid. I know what it looks like when someone realizes they’ve been hanging out with a fuckin’ freak.” He jabs a finger at Billy, gesturing in a vague circle around his face. “That. Right before the regret sets in. And you bail. Or worse.” He clenches his teeth, a muscle in his jaw twitching. It’s not quite enough to hide the current of anxiety thrumming through his jerky movements.

There are things he should say right now. Things he should do. But all he’s getting it static. Fuzz. He’s wildly spinning a dial and getting nothing but snippets of words that he loses in the white noise.

He’s fucking this up.

He tongues his cheek. Deliberates.

“We should take this somewhere else,” he says carefully, pointedly flicking his gaze towards the office building behind them. They might be alone out here, but there’s no guarantee they’ll stay that way. There are people in there. For all he knows there could be someone peeking through the blinds at them right now.

But Tommy just stares at him, incredulous. “You’ve gotta be kidding.”

“Would you just—” Billy blows out an irritated breath. The back of his neck is prickling, like he’s being watched. He can’t fucking concentrate. “It’s not what you think.” The scoff he gets in response is not encouraging. “I’m not bailing on you, alright, would you just come with me and let me say my piece?”

If their positions were reversed he knows what he’d do. He wouldn’t risk being alone with someone who just found him out, it’s a stupid fucking thing to do. Anyone who asked him to take that risk would get laughed at and left in the dust. And yet here he is asking Tommy to trust him, like he has any right to do that.

Promising to stick around doesn’t feel like enough but it’s all he can give right now. He wants it to work so badly it hurts, aches like he’s ripped out a part of himself as an offering.

Tommy narrows his eyes, looks him up and down, and mutters. “Fine.”

All the air punches out of Billy’s lungs. Maybe he can salvage this.

They walk in stiff silence, a careful six inches apart. Billy’s boots scrape against the pavement. He picks at a scab along the edge of his fingernail, watching Tommy out of the corner of his eye, catching the erratic flash of his hands flitting from place to place, pushing through his hair, adjusting the hem of his shirt.

His dorm is closer, he steers him in that direction, ignoring Tommy’s suspicious side-eye.

It’ll be fine, he can clear shit up when they get there. It’ll be fine.

Still, guilt squeezes at his insides.

His dorm room door clicks shut behind them. It’s deafening.

He has no plan. He probably should have come up with a plan. His palms are sweating and his heart feels like it’s trying to crawl out of his mouth and his throat is so dry he’s not sure he could say anything even if he knew what to say, but…fuck, staring at the ripped corner of his Metallica poster isn’t even remotely productive, he needs to think—

Tommy grips his arm, tight enough to hurt, and tugs him around. His lips are pursed, downturned, and his eyes are bright, intense, flicking across Billy’s face. Billy’s half sure he’s about to get punched—Tommy looks to be working himself up to something—but instead he blinks and Tommy’s gone, Tommy’s…on his knees, clumsy fingers plucking at Billy’s belt buckle.

“Oh—” Billy sucks in a breath, grabbing Tommy’s wrists.

Dark eyes glare up at him. “Oh come on, this is what you wanted right? You’re not leaving because you want something. And it’s not gay if I’ve got a pussy, right—”

“Would you shut the fuck up for a second?” Billy says all in an exasperated rush, staring at the ceiling, a little lightheaded. He’s not entirely shocked by the heat that seared through him when he realized what Tommy was trying to do, but he wasn’t prepared for how much he wants him to. And now really isn’t the time to be thinking about using Tommy’s mouth to get off. “Look, I…”

His throat closes up. He still can’t say it.

Slowly, he lowers himself to the floor, sitting on the heels of his boots, his knees brushing Tommy’s. It’s easier to look at him from this angle. Or maybe it’s just because the strange intensity in his gaze has been replaced by confusion. There’s a vulnerable helplessness there that Billy didn’t notice before. Guilt grips him tighter.

“I told you, it’s not what you think,” he says quietly.

Before he can lose his nerve—an ignoring all the doubts plaguing him, what if he thinks less of me, what if he’s angry I kept it a secret, what if—Billy hooks his fingers under the hem of his shirt and tugs, pulling it over his head.

Tommy blinks at him. Opens his mouth. Shuts it again.

He doesn’t stare at Billy’s scars. Billy expected him to stare. Showing him the scars was the whole point. He looks at them, sure, but he doesn’t look for very long. His eyes wander, scanning the entire expanse of tanned skin on display. Lingering on the freckles on Billy’s shoulder. The trail of soft blond hair below his belly button.

If he was less caught up in feeling feelings that made his insides squirm and his fingers itch he might’ve laughed at how dazed Tommy’s looks. But he’s sure his expression isn’t any better. A hot flush prickles up Billy’s chest as he sits there, just letting Tommy ogle.

“Uh.” Tommy clears his throat. His cheeks are pink. He hasn’t looked up yet. “So…”

“Yeah.”

“You…”

“Yup.”

“Huh.”

A beat. “I mean you can still blow me if you want, I just figured you’d want to know what you were getting into first.”

That does it. Tommy finally makes eye-contact, his eyebrows creeping up his forehead, a startled, slightly hysterical cackle bubbling out of him. The flush on his cheeks is still there but he looks less like he’s been hit over the head. “Asshole,” he says, unable to entirely keep the smile off his face.

Billy shrugs, a grin tugging at his lips. “Yeah, but I have it on good authority that you like having me around.”

The light in Tommy’s eyes dims a bit, and for a horrible second Billy thinks he’s fucked up again. Tommy huffs a quiet laugh, breaking eye-contact. “Sorry about that, by the way.”

“What?”

“Uh. Last night. Being all…” He grimaces, and wiggles his fingers in the air.

“...Is that why you took off this morning?”

“I…maybe.”

“Jesus Christ,” Billy groans, and punches his shoulder. “You aren’t the only one who hates being left behind y’know.”

“Oh.”

You had me worried.

He bites his tongue. It doesn’t need to be said. Tommy’s expression is soft, despite the fact that he’s rubbing his bicep where Billy hit him.

“You didn’t scare me off,” Billy mutters instead, and winces at his own plaintive tone. But he can’t seem to stop now that he’s started. “You still haven’t. Still like having you around. Y’know, if—if you’re gonna stay.”

Tommy lets out a quiet breath. A tiny noise in the back of his throat. And then he sways forward, closing the gap between them, and kisses Billy square on the mouth.

He’s not expecting it, is the thing. People are usually pretty unsubtle when they want him, and he can read the signs. He knows when someone’s going to make a move and he can prepare, put himself in whatever headspace he needs to be in to get through it.

And it’s not like he wasn’t aware that Tommy had been checking him out, but this is…it’s something else.

Because he was caught unawares he doesn’t have a goddamn plan, so he just reacts, messy and a little desperate in a way he hasn’t been since his first few times getting physical with someone. It would be embarrassing, except for the way Tommy’s breath hitches, and he leans into it. He can’t seem to get close enough where he is, because he shuffles forward on his knees ‘til they’re on either side of Billy’s thighs.

He hovers there, straddling Billy’s lap, still pressing sloppy kisses to his lips, but doesn’t sit until Billy grabs him around his waist and tugs.

Tommy lets out a sharp puff of a gasp as he’s pulled closer, it’s warm where it tickles Billy’s moustache, and he finally breaks their kiss to snicker.

“Fuck off, you surprised me,” Tommy says, the annoyed act falling flat when the words come out breathy and trembling.

“Mhm,” Billy hums, grinning at Tommy’s complete inability to keep a straight face while he slips his fingers under the seam of Tommy’s waistband, toying with the elastic of his briefs while his palms rest comfortably on his lower back.

There’s a heat simmering in his gut, coiled low and tight, but the weight in his lap and hesitant fingertips pressed to his stomach feel just as pleasant. It’s…weird. New. Fragile. He’s not quite sure what this is but he wants to hold on to it.

“So…we’re good, right?” He bites inside of his cheek to ground himself, and stop any more stupid questions from falling out of his face.

“Yeah, I mean—yeah? Pretty sure I’m, uh. Very good right now.” His eyes flicker down. “I was better a second ago though.”

Billy pushes the tip of his tongue between his teeth, feeling very smug when Tommy zeroes in on it. “You sure you’re not mad about earlier?” he lets his voice drop an octave, leaning in just enough to feel Tommy’s breathing quicken. “‘Cause I’ll work real hard to make it up to you if you are.”

“That cheesy porno shit usually work for you?” His tone is light, teasing, threaded with laughter, but his gaze is still heavy on Billy’s mouth, pupils blown and hazy with lust.

“Oh please, like it isn’t getting you going?” Billy dips his hands lower, fingertips pressed lightly into the soft flesh of Tommy’s asscheeks. He isn’t digging in, isn’t pushing, but Tommy shifts closer anyways, ‘til their chests are nearly flush, and they touch, briefly, with each shallow breath. “I bet your briefs are soaked right now.”

Like his are any better, really. It’s taking all his self-control not to squirm and rub his hard little cock all through the slick mess under him.

Tommy’s eyes fall shut, and he shudders. Billy feels him quiver. He slides his hands up Billy’s chest, palms skimming his ribs, briefly pausing to trace his scars, and coming to rest just under his collarbone.

A pause.

And Tommy shoves him. Hard.

His back hits the carpet, knocking the air out of him in a rush, a wheezing, incredulous laugh. Sparks dance up his spine. The heat in his belly flares. Tommy’s looking down at him like he wants to devour him, and Billy’s more than willing to let it happen.

This time when Tommy goes for the belt buckle, he doesn’t stop him.

It jingles against the button on his jeans, flopping to the side as Tommy fumbles with his fly, hooks his fingers into worn belt loops, and tugs. His jeans are as much of a pain to take off as they always are, they both grimace and groan as he wiggles out of them, stopping to pull off his boots when they get in the way.

“How the hell do you sleep around so much in these?” Tommy mutters, finally prying Billy’s legs free and chucking his rumpled jeans across the room with an annoyed huff.

Billy snorts. “They don’t usually come off.”

“...Oh.” He feels, suddenly, like maybe he’s said too much. The way Tommy’s eyeing him makes him feel every inch of his bare skin on display. He’d sit up, make himself a little less vulnerable, but Tommy’s shifted positions, straddling his stomach. “Do you just do over the clothes stuff, then, or…”

“Don’t really get touched at all, actually. Easier to avoid getting hate-crimed that way.” He turns his face away, cheek brushing the carpet.

Tommy nods, running a hand through his hair. “Shit, yeah. It’s…Carol’s the only girl I’ve ever been with, and sometimes she didn’t even wanna. Y’know.”

“Yeah, guys aren’t much better, trust me.”

“I know,” he says ruefully, smiling small. “I think maybe Carol only kept me around as long as she did because she couldn’t find any other guy willing to go down on her that much.”

“Damn, and she still dumped you? So ungrateful.”

“Ha, yeah, well. She found someone with a real dick apparently. Said she missed getting fucked properly, or whatever.”

Billy scoffs, “Ten bucks says she comes crawling back in two weeks when she gets tired of being some prick’s fucktoy.”

He tenses, regretting the thought the second he has it. Tommy’s gotten back with her every time she’s asked. She snaps her fingers and he’s there, hers again like nothing happened. As much as Billy hates watching it happen every time, he gets it. His track record when it comes to letting the people he loves hurt him isn’t any better. But this time…

Does he have any right to hope it’ll be different now? Probably not.

Tommy raises his eyebrows, a guarded sort of curiosity behind his mostly blank expression.

“Don’t take her back,” Billy says, softly, stupid, vulnerable hope cracking him open. He focuses on the feeling of Tommy’s slacks under his palms, warm thighs bracketing his torso. The rough scratch of carpet against his bare back. The smell of his musty dorm room. Anything but the way his stomach twists into knots while he waits to get shot down. “She’ll just break your heart again, man,” he adds, like he can cover his ass and make it look like this isn’t about what he wants at all.

“And you won’t?” He’s quiet. Serious. There’s a sad twist to his mouth.

“I—” The silence in the air between them is stifling, heavy in Billy’s lungs as his chest rises and falls. In some fucked up way that feels like an admission. An acknowledgement of…something. The idea that Billy might have the power to break his heart is fucking terrifying, and the implications make his head spin. He bites his lip. “Not by leaving.”

Tommy huffs out a dry laugh, bowing his head and giving it a tiny shake. “Gee, thanks.” He’s hiding a smile. A small one, but it’s warm, despite his hesitance.

Billy grabs the front of Tommy’s shirt, tugging him down while he cranes his neck, meeting him halfway to press a brief kiss to his mouth.

It’s less brief than he planned. Tommy’s fingers end up wound in his hair, his firm grip making Billy’s scalp tingle and heat simmer under his skin. He groans, low in his throat, and licks into Tommy’s mouth in retaliation.

Time starts to blur a little. He’s not thinking about why he kissed Tommy in the first place. He’s not thinking of stopping, god fucking forbid. All that matters is the sharp, biting pressure of fingernails, the gentle glide of warm lips against his, and the sounds he can pull from Tommy with a flick of his tongue. Everything else is sort of fuzzy.

He tries nipping Tommy’s bottom lip. Lightly. Testing the waters. He inhales sharply, something like a gasp he caught halfway, and more importantly, his hips jerk forward. Just a little. But him pressing down against Billy’s stomach like that sets a fire inside. An immediate needy wanting that rushes through him like an adrenaline spike.

Billy pulls back an inch, breathing hard, “Do it again,” he demands, clutching Tommy’s waist with guiding hands, “C’mon, c’mon.”

“Jesus—fuck,” Tommy’s nose brushes his cheek as he starts to move, curling into Billy’s space and panting bitten-off curses in puffs of humid air against his jaw.

The seam of Tommy’s pants chafes a little, rubbing against the taut line of his stomach, catching on the light dusting of hair, but he can’t bring himself to care. Not when he can feel Tommy’s legs start to tremble, and he gets to watch the way his face goes slack with pleasure, his eyebrows furrowed as he works his hips back and forth.

It’s not hard to imagine sliding inside him like this. Tommy sitting on his cock, all wet heat and freckled thighs. Riding him ‘til his muscles give out and Billy has to take over, snap his hips over and over, listening to the slap of skin and Tommy’s pleading for more.

Fuck.

His grip on Tommy’s waist tightens, right as he gives one last jerky thrust, and his whole body tenses. He whimpers right in Billy’s ear before his head drops, hitting his shoulder.

Billy feels like a live wire. He aches. He wants.

He waits, with bottom lip caught between his teeth, squirming and hoping it’s not too obvious.

“Sooo,” Tommy drawls, still catching his breath, his nose smushed to Billy’s collarbone. “D’you want me to blow you, or was that—”

“Fuck, yes.”

Tommy snickers. “Alright. Prepare to have your world rocked.”

“Oh, and my pick-up line was cheesy porno shit?”

“Yeah.”

“Dick.”

His shoulders shake with barely suppressed laughter, and Billy can feel his smile widen. He’d almost be content to bask in the moment like a cat in a sunbeam, except—

Tommy shifts, sliding a thigh between his legs and pressing, and yeah, that’s much better, nevermind. He lets out a slow, shaky breath, staring hazily at the water-stained ceiling.

“You liked seeing me get off, huh.” Tommy kisses his chest, lips still curved into a smile. Billy swallows hard, and folds his lips between his teeth. “You soaked right through your underwear. I can feel it.”

He’s making his way down way too slowly. On purpose, the little shit. But Billy refuses to crack. He can wait. It’s fine. He only feels a little bit like he’s going to explode.

Tommy replaces his thigh with his hand as he crawls backward, trailing a light finger over the growing wet spot and not doing nearly enough to ease the throbbing ache between Billy’s legs, his lips trail down, inch by agonizing inch as he goes. He’s got nice lips. Billy wouldn’t mind kissing him for hours. Being kissed.

Being kissed somewhere very specific right fucking now.

Billy’s legs spread a little further apart, without really meaning to, he arches his back, wriggles, trying to subtly get Tommy where he needs to be a little faster.

Except he fucking pauses. Kisses Billy’s hipbone. Flashes an absolutely shit-eating grin.

“Would you hurry the fuck up,” Billy groans.

Which cracks Tommy up. A laugh he’d obviously been holding back bursts out of him, muffled a little as he leans into Billy’s stomach, his shoulders shaking.

“I hate you so much.”

Tommy looks up at him, eyes shining. “Nah. You don’t.”

“Fine, but I’d like you a lot more if you stopped being a tease.”

“Fair enough,” he chuckles, and finally, finally, settles between Billy’s legs, flashing a grin before he pushes Billy’s briefs aside and drags his tongue through the wetness underneath.

“Jesusfuckingchrist—” Billy inhales sharply, his whole body arching into the sweet pressure of Tommy’s mouth, somehow ending up with one leg hooked around him, trying to pull him closer. “Oh fuck.”

A whine catches in his throat when Tommy huffs a laugh, warm air somehow feeling cool against his flushed skin. He’s beyond caring about looking desperate, he just needs more. More of this. He rocks against the steady stroke of Tommy’s tongue, his breath hitching every time he brushes his cock and a concentrated bolt of pleasure lances through him.

Then Tommy wraps his lips around it, and sucks, and Billy’s vision whites out. It feels so good it fucking hurts. He cries out, wordlessly, grasping for something to hold on to.

“Holy shit, dude,” Tommy breathes, pulling back, pulling away, what the fuck, no—

“Hng,” Billy grunts, his hands waving uselessly, trying to reach Tommy to put him back where he was.

“Yeah, yeah,” he laughs, a little breathless, a lot delighted. “Just…” He hooks his fingers into the waistband of Billy’s underwear and starts tugging them off. “You’re so loud, man.”

The part of his brain that’s still working—the part that isn’t floating on a cloud of horny thoughts, mostly about how fucking pornographic Tommy’s mouth looks right now, pink, flushed, and slick from nose to chin—is smart enough to know that if he’s too loud they might get caught. But he’s having a hard time making himself care. And he’s sure he’ll care even less when Tommy puts his lips back where they fucking belong.

Then Tommy’s leaning over him, damp grey briefs folded up in one hand, easing Billy’s mouth open with the other.

He’s slow about it. Deliberate. Telegraphing his movements so Billy and the three brain cells he’s got left understand what he’a about to do. Billy could clench his jaw against his prodding at any time. He could turn his head to escape Tommy’s hold.

But he doesn’t.

The taste of his own sex isn’t unfamiliar, but it’s oddly thrilling in this context. It feels dirty in the best kind of way. Cotton sticking to his tongue, drool pooling in the corner of his mouth, Tommy’s gaze heavy on his parted lips. Billy wonders if he’s thinking about other things he could stuff Billy’s mouth with to shut him up.

Biting down on creased fabric is odd, but it definitely muffles his whimpering.

Which is, admittedly, handy when Tommy dives back in with no warning.

He doesn’t hold back at all, pressing in close, his hands gripping Billy’s hips to keep him in place. His tongue curls around Billy’s cock, over and over in firm swipes.

And Billy sees stars. He can hear his own stifled moaning through the makeshift gag, but he barely recognizes is own voice. Every pitched, breathy noise that comes out of him is a shock he doesn’t have time to linger on, and he doesn’t fucking care to, not when he can barely process how good he feels right now, let alone feel anything but Tommy’s mouth and the heat building under his skin. His whole body is taut with it, muscles tensing as he tries to hold onto the sparks dancing through him.

It doesn’t take long for him to come with a hoarse shout and an embarrassing gush of wetness all over Tommy’s chin, white-knuckled and curled around Tommy’s sloped shoulders.

He flops back, breathing hard and staring, unseeing, at the ceiling.

“Holy shit,” Tommy says again, with something resembling awe.

Billy closes his eyes, trying to measure the rise and fall of his chest. His whole body is tingling. And a little sore.

He feels a little tug, Tommy picking at the briefs stuffed into his mouth. He loosens his jaw and lets him remove them. There’s spit trickling down his cheek. Tommy wipes it up, carefully patting the side of his face.

“You good?”

“Mhm,” Billy hums.

“...Been a while?”

He cracks an eye open and glances over at Tommy. His eyebrows are near his hairline, but it doesn’t look judgemental. A little amused, maybe. Billy sighs. “You could say that.”

“Oh?”

It’s been thirteen months since anyone’s touched him below the belt. He doesn’t remember who it was, but he remembers tequila and lime, hearing shitty dance music in another room while he let someone stick their hand in his pants, half-expecting it to retreat immediately.

No one’s ever touched him like this, though.

He runs his tongue across his bottom lip, unsure how to respond. He lands on, “Never been blown before.”

Tommy blinks at him. “No shit?” His hand makes a weird aborted movement, then lands on the carpet next to him. Billy has the weird urge to hold it. Or to be held, maybe. As the sweat on his skin cools he starts to itch, an unfamiliar ache blooming in his chest.

“No shit,” he echoes.

“That’s…” Tommy scratches his eyebrow. “Kinda hot actually. I popped your cherry.”

“I’ve had sex.”

“Yeah, but not that kind.”

“...Whatever,” Billy mutters, his cheeks flushing.

“I’m serious, dude.” Tommy’s smiling now, his lips still shiny and pink and distracting. “That was, uh. Kind of awesome. All of it. Plus the cherry on top.”

He can’t help but snort, and smacks Tommy’s knee. “Fuck you, Hagan.”

“Maybe next time.”

That catches Billy’s attention. Whether it’s the promise of a next time or the thought of fucking him, he doesn’t know, but either way he’s suddenly unable to look anywhere but at Tommy. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Tommy lifts his chin a little, like a challenge, but his eyes are warm. “You said you weren’t goin’ anywhere, so…”

“I meant it.”

He’s caught off guard by the almost bashful way Tommy ducks his head suddenly, the tips of his ears going red, hiding a widening smile. “Good.” He shuffles a little closer. “Though I get why you’d stick around. Y’know. After I rocked your world.”

Billy groans, and rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”

“Nah, nah, I wanna hear you say it.”

“No.”

“Come ooon.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“And good with my tongue.”

“Jesus Christ,” Billy mutters, “Okay, fine, you rocked my world. Congrats.”

Tommy preens, supremely pleased with himself, and pokes Billy’s shoulder. “Told you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Billy tries his hardest to look annoyed at the prodding, but fails to do anything but grin at the ceiling.

“Now, I seem to remember you promising to put some work in, and so far you’ve just been layin’ there.” The smug look on his face is absolutely out of control. Billy swats at him, but Tommy just catches his hand and kisses his palm, grinning like a fucking maniac. “Gotta do better than that, Hargrove.”

Billy tackles him, rolls them over, and pins Tommy’s hands above his head.

And he puts some work in.

#billy hargrove #tommy hagan #tomgrove #billy x tommy #trans billy hargrove #trans tommy hagan #stranger things #a raven's writing desk

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humankoalaa · 5 years

Text

BLACK LIGHTNING 3X02

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

we’re not doing this the beginning of every episode tho .... we’re not. like ive had it with the vomiting 😩

bleeding out the eyes tho?! ... is this black lightning or shadow hunters 😫

LALA ISNT IN A TRACK SUIT ?!

ugh poor Henderson.

is that khalils mom tho?

LMAO gambi i said the same thing 🤣🤣 come on sis. we know that mamas cry.

ooooooo jefferson big mad 🤣 sit down. like just take the L you’re used to it.

this commander is such trash.

they can’t even call jenn and anissa?! their daughters?! smfh.

might as well kept the damn collar on jeff. hell all they need is shackles now 😒 kinda shit is this man.

they done got a cell upgrade in captivity, meanwhile anissas jobless in a loft and presumably unconscious still.

😫 grandma and grandpa fighting. keep all that negativity on the green arrow plz and ty.

this adolf reincarnate wanna be bout to be the next reverend with all this screaming huh?! you can get your point across using your indoor warehouse voice at a 6.

“quarantine be damned” 🤣🤣

only black lightning can use “grimey ass” and get away with it and only hendersons ass has the attitude to deliver it. i said what i said.

TIMEOUT. i know good AND got damn well anayah knows that’s anissas ass 🤣🤣🤣🤣

WHY DOES BLACKBIRD SOUND LIKE BATMAN?! WHY?!

jenn 🤣🤣🤣🤣 i love her so much.

odell has officially realized jenn ain’t the one 😂

he’s looking at her like “got dammit you know what just watch the video, take the phone, eat the food, surf the web, tie you shoes and stop frying government property!”

meanwhile jenns like nah. im good love. enjoy.

lawd they were lying through them smiles for jenn 😭

they really pulled out shotguns?! 🤣 also i can’t with blackbird and that mask. like do they really not know thats anissa orrrr

GAMBI!!!!!

henderson 🤣🤣 “do you ever run out of weird ass tech” MOOD.

henderson saying anissa is his heart 😭

i know that’s right gambi.

sis done lost her fingernails? 😩 they need to just let her go on to the thee almighty.

i can’t wait for Henderson to fuck up this commander ooooooo i know it’s coming.

yes for bread and crackers lala. he here preaching about crumbs.

scuse me mr. lala, you ever seen lesbians fight over crumbs?! clearly you haven’t. issa whole 2 seasons and we still ain’t seen anissa and grace hug, go on a proper date, NOT lie about something i mean i can do this all day.

we done been through 60 days and 60 nights, 80 acres and 3 mules, AND had to endure TWO grace droughts in 2018 ok?! meanwhile we’re still here fighting for crumbs.

you ever seen the movie antz mr. latavius?! that is a day in the life of a lesbian. okay?! pay attention. learn you something!

🤣🤣🤣🤣 they still killing lala only for him to get right back up 😂😂

i need lala to get up one of these days after being shot like “surprise mother fucker, got shot five times mother fucker, still alive mother fucker, IM NOT NOT DYN MOTHER FUCKER” i need this.

when did anissa learn sign language? you know what nevermimd she just be out here knowing how to do shit.

anayah ungrateful ass.

i cannot stress this enough.... blackbird can beat my ass to hell and leave me there.

awh lawd they done killed Mariam.

this dude talking to jenn on the stairs has a whole booger in his nose. you mean to tell me nobody in the editing room peeped that?! 😩

NO JAMILA IM OVER U BYEEEE

shut up and run jamila.

KHALIL

still don’t like his ass but heeyyyyyy giirrlll.

khalil... you ain’t even finish highschool ole masters in none having ass 😩

no the fuck he ain’t study none of that shit 😂😂😂😂

OMFG NO ODELL!

lmao i thought it came back on nope watchmen commercial 😂

it’s been on a commercial break for like 30 minutes come on man.

oh wow commander showing he has some sort of humanity left in him.

PAUSE he called khalil “it” 🙄 trash.

odell better stop treating my grandmother like the help thats all i know.

COMMERCIAL AGAIN?! it wasnt even 2 minutes since the last 😑

first of all lynn you’re not mad at my grandfather. relax.

awh lawd grandpa 😩😩😩😩😩

she pulled the “im a doctor card” 😂

this fight is so petty 😂

both of their asses need to be grounded and sent to bed.

michelle..... that ain’t your son sis. that ain’t him sis.

rip michelle. guess that’s why blackbird sounds like Batman so she doesnt end up like Michelle’s non anonymous anonymous interview 🤷🏾‍♀️

why they have her go out like that 😩 looking like kryptonite got her ass 😩

Lawd he done fucked up and called jenn a bitch.

jenn 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this ain’t a problem you want 🤣🤣🤣

jenn really just beat up the whole wrestling team... yeah she did that. her and anissa fight scenes always lit.

#black lightning #black lighting spoilers #anissa pierce #jennifer pierce #thundergrace

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masterofmunson · 7 years

Text

Lovesick Syndrome

Bucky x Reader

Summary: The harder it is to deny yourself your soulmate, the sicker you become. Soulmate!AU

Word Count: 2.7k+

Warnings: angst, unrequited love, kinda anti-nat (still love her tho), fluff, everybody is sick yo

N/A: HEY GUYS!! I got inspiration and i came up with this! enjoy!!

It all started when Natasha came into the Compound after Steve and ‘his’ team returned from hiding in Wakanda. She came sauntering in with a stunning man on her arm. He had thick, dark, brown hair and gorgeous sea blue eyes. He wore a thick, black leather jacket with a dark blue Henley. He was absolutely breathtaking. He took her breath away with just the small smile he gave her when she politely introduced herself.

“Hi, I’m Y/n. It’s nice to meet you,” she said, extending her arm out in front of her for the gorgeous stranger to take.

“Hi, Y/n. I’m Bucky,” he replied, shaking her hand gently.

She had to bite back the gasp threatening to spill from her lips as their hands met. It felt as if fireworks shot out from her fingertips and spread to the rest of her body at his soft touch. His touch burned her, seared her soul into only wanting him. She immediately longed for him. She immediately wanted to love and cherish and protect him. She wanted to get to know him and his smile and his laugh.

She wondered if he felt it too.

Does his hand burn under her touch? Does he want to only want her? Does he want to love and cherish and protect her too?

She wouldn’t know.

Her eyes cast downward and his flesh hand is entwined with Natasha’s perfectly manicured fingers. His other hand, the hand that touched hers, the hand that was made from metal, falls softly out of her grasp.

A gut wrenching feeling enters her body. Her eyes find his again and silently search for any desire that he might’ve felt what she did.

She doesn’t and it kills her.

Her eyes follow her line, the line only her eyes can see. It sticks out of her chest like a sore thumb. The red pulsates with each thump of her heart. It’s loud and bright and wraps around Bucky’s wrist perfectly.

She’s terrified.

She’s terrified that he can see right through her. She’s terrified that her best friend, beautiful and sexy Natasha, noticed that she’s already unexplainably head over heels in love with her boyfriend and she knows nothing about him.

She knows no one can see her soul wrap perfectly around his wrist. She knows no one knows that she can see her soul line that leads to him. She knows that no one knows of her ability to see her own fate lay in the hands of someone else’s.

“Talia’s told me so much about you!” he grinned, making her heart thump loudly against her chest. “It’s glad to finally put a name to a face. I’m glad you and Nat are so close. It’s good to meet the girl that kept my girl out of trouble for so long until we met.”

Her heart shatters.

She watches Nat gush over her beloved boyfriend silently. Her eyes stare blankly at their entwined hands as they squeeze each other’s hands every so often. Words fall on deaf ears as conversation flows without her.

It feels like she can’t breathe. It’s like her world crumbled beneath her as the man she knows she’s meant to be with is, with no doubt, in love with someone else.

She thinks it’s cruel, the idea of soulmates, that is. Everyone’s destined to be with someone but what if that someone isn’t meant to be you? It’s a cruel sick joke that she realizes too little too late because she starts to suffer the consequences not soon after their first encounter.

It begins with the small things. The getting to know yous and cute innocent questions they’d ask each other.

“What’s it like living in a world where you’re older than sliced bread?” she teased with a smirk during breakfast one morning.

His reply was, “Better now that I don’t have to get crumbs all over me.”

It made her stomach flip.

Soon after that, her stomach would start to hurt. She’d make the mistake of brushing it off, blaming it on premenstrual cramps, but it wasn’t.

Then it got worse… and worse… and worse.

The closer her and Bucky became, the sicker she got and she knew why and it was unbearable. She let it fester and rot until it became her own cancer. Being close to Bucky, with Bucky, was killing her. It was destroying her.

The pain of watching the man she loved love someone else was affecting every aspect of her life.

She couldn’t eat because she would throw it up. She couldn’t sleep because it would keep her up. She couldn’t train as often enough because she was too weak.

Then she decided that she had enough. She had enough of the hungry and sleepless nights. She had enough of Bucky and Natasha’s love affair, even though she was a bystander and that she should be Natasha. She was done, done, done.

So she started to avoid him.

She switched her whole routine in order to avoid both Bucky and Natasha. She had Tony put a coffee machine in her room so she wouldn’t have to go to the kitchen to get it as well as a mini fridge for snacks that she wouldn’t have to go to the kitchen for. Tony pretty much put a whole kitchenette into her room to accommodate her situation with Bucky and Nat.

After all, he understood.

He understood the terrible sicknesses that she would fight off in order to maintain her daily life. He understood the pain and heartache she was going as she watched her soulmate fall in love with someone else. He understood all too well and was more than willing to help her move past it as best as he could.

Sam and Wanda were the same way.

They hated that their best friend was suffering from unimaginable, unthinkable pain that they couldn’t help get better. Instead, they helped make it tolerable for her.

They changed her training schedule to their own session together and helped her stay clear of Bucky and Natasha. She was grateful towards her friends. They weren’t going to let her suffer alone. They were going to help her and it touched her.

She slowly started to regain her strength. She was stronger, healthier since she started to avoid Bucky. She returned to going on missions and she was able to eat and sleep regularly. Bucky was on the back burner. She no longer stared at the black ink adoring her heart in the dead of night cursing anyone and everyone for having his name imprinted on her precious skin. She ignored it like the man the name belonged to.

Avoiding Bucky and Natasha lasted weeks. She was avoiding them for so long that she can’t remember the last conversation she had with either of them. It had been that long.

Then it was short lived.

It happened when she was bar hopping with Sam and Wanda on one of their off days.

She was having a blast dancing and singing along to whatever song was playing at a club they found themselves in. She was slightly tipsy and she was clinging to Sam as they followed the beat of the song on the dance floor.

She was happy. She was healthy.

In that moment, she didn’t want anything else. In that moment, she was fine with the life she had.

Near the bar, however, stood Bucky with his arms crossed as he watch Sam and Y/n have the time of their lives.

He was fuming with anger.

She had been avoiding him for weeks. She changed her training schedule to Sam and Wanda’s session. He no longer saw her at breakfast, lunch, or dinner. She no longer came to Tony’s parties. It was like she disappeared.

He doesn’t know why she’s avoiding him. He doesn’t know why she cut him off. He doesn’t know why it hurts so much.

Since she started to avoid him, he started to get insanely sick, which frightened Natasha and Steve. He was a Super Soldier. He’s not suppose to get sick, but he was.

He kept throwing up. He kept having the shivers. He kept coughing. He kept shaking. He wasn’t getting better and it scared Natasha and Steve. Him getting sick was suppose to be impossible, but there he was, laying in bed for the eighth day in a row.

None of the medicines or antibiotics were helping. Resting wasn’t working. Nothing seemed to be working.

“There’s only one other thing that I can think of that can be causing you all this sickness, Bucky,” Doctor Cho sighed, brushing a stray hair out of her face as she looked at Bucky nervously.

“What is it, Doc?” he asked nervously, sitting up in his chair. Natasha squeezes his hand.

“Are you aware of the Lovesick Syndrome?” she asked. He shook his head. “What it means, in a sense, is that you’re denying yourself of your soulmate. Your mind, body, and soul aren’t entwined with the mind, body, and soul of your soulmate, so it makes you unbearably sick. You can’t stomach the thought of being away from your soulmate, but they either a. don’t know or b. think that they or you are possibly in love with someone else, so you are the one that suffers and gets incredibly sick.”

His heart drops into his stomach and Natasha’s hand slips from his back into her lap. Helen leaves the room and the room is consumed with silence. The only thing he can hear is Natasha’s ragged breathing.

“Natalia,” he croaked, turning his head towards her. He knows she knows but he also knows that it doesn’t hurt any less.

“It’s okay,” she whispered, staring at the ground. A tear slips down her cheek. “I know. It’s okay.”

His chest tightens.

She knows.

“I love you, Natalia. You must know that. You have to know that,” he pleads.

It hurts him too, seeing her this way, because he does love her, but not in that way. Not anymore. He wants her to know that what they had was real. He wants her to know that he did think of her as his soulmate.

“I know, it’s just not in that way. Not anymore, at least.”

“Nat, please—”

“Bucky, just… go. Don’t make this harder than it already is,” she interrupted quietly.

He did.

That was two days ago.

Two long days of silence and more sickness, if that’s even possible.

He knows what, rather who, is causing all this sickness. It makes him angry and guilty and giddy. All he wants to do is talk to her, but it seems to be an impossible task, up until he saw her, Sam, and Wanda slip out of the Compound on an off day. He follows behind, careful not to give himself away.

Now, as he stands a mere 50 feet from her, he can’t help but feel so stupid.

From the moment they met, he was hers, but in every sense of the word, he was Natasha’s. He still showered her with love and affection as his heart slowly started to belong to Y/n but he didn’t do anything because he was with Natasha. He can’t help but feel guilty. He caused Y/n so much pain… so much sickness. It breaks his heart that he broke hers.

He weaves through the endless drunken bodies of the club towards her. He stands behind her and takes a deep breath before brushing his flesh hand against her arm.

Her arm burns and she spins around, face to face with Bucky. Her smile faulted and she harshly pulls her arm out of his grasp, cradling the spot her touched.

Sam and Wanda steps in front of her and it makes him angry even though he knows they’re just trying to protect her.

“I need to talk to you. Please let me talk to you,” he begged over the loud music as their eyes meet.

“It’s okay Sam, Wanda. I can handle this,” she said, resting a hand on each of their shoulders.

“Let us know if you need anything, alright?” Sam demanded softly, pulling her in for a brief hug. She nods into his chest before walking out of the club with Bucky hot on her tail.

They walk in silence for awhile before coming across a park bench. They both sit down with plenty of distance between each other.

“I think I know why you’ve been avoiding me,” he whispered into the dark night.

“I don’t think you do,” she spat back defensively, turning her head to him.

“If you don’t think I do, why are you getting so defensive?” he countered.

“Because it’s the only way I know how to protect myself without getting hurt.”

Silence consumes the pair again and her hands rub up and down her arms, attempting to rid the burning sensation Bucky gave her on her arm. Her eyes followed the cars driving past them and she suddenly wishes that she was anywhere else but on the park bench next to Bucky because he knows.

He knows that he’s her soulmate. He knows that she’s in love with him and he won’t say it.

He won’t say it because he doesn’t love her the way she loves him. He won’t say it because she’s not his soulmate even though he’s hers.

She was a glitch, a mistake.

“I know you have Lovesick Syndrome,” he states in the dark, stealing a glance at her.

Her breathing gets caught in her throat and she stares at him. She certainly wasn’t expecting that. “What?”

“Lovesick Syndrome. It’s what you get when you deny yourself your soulmate That’s why you’ve been sick, isn’t it?”

She scoffs bitterly, rolling her eyes, “I can’t deny myself of anything–of my soul mate–if he wasn’t mine to begin with,” she snapped.

He winces. He hadn’t thought of what she might be feeling.

She still doesn’t know that he’s no longer with Natasha. She doesn’t know that he too, suffered from Lovesick Syndrome. She doesn’t know and he needs to tell her.

“I know this because I’ve been denying myself of my soulmate too,” he confessed quietly.

Her breathing stutters and her eyes widen in shock. That made no sense to her. How could he be denying himself of his soulmate? Natasha was his soulmate. She had to be. He looked so in love with her.

“What?”

He nods with a soft smile. “I’ve been suffering from Lovesick Syndrome too.”

A lump forms in her throat as the gears in her head start to turn. He knows she’s putting two and two together as her eyes search his for any shred of hesitation or trick or doubt in his eyes. She finds none.

“So does that mean I’m your–you’re my…” she doesn’t finish her sentence because she’s too scared to. Soulmate… could that be her reality? Could she finally be happy?

“Soulmate?” he asks. She nods wordlessly. “Yeah, pumpkin, it does.”

“What about… what about you and Nat?” she whispers quietly, tearing her eyes away from his beautiful blues.

“After I found out why I kept being sick, we ended things. It’s not fair to her. I couldn’t be with her while my heart belonged to someone else.”

She nods again. She doesn’t know what to say.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, inching his fingers closer to hers. “I didn’t mean to put you in so much pain… get you so sick. If I realized earlier that I was in love with you, I would’ve ended things with Nat sooner. I’m so incredibly sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” she said quietly, meeting his gaze. “Avoiding you seemed like the best idea. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just… I had to protect myself.”

“I understand. Can we forgive each other?”

She nods with a beautiful smile. “Of course. I forgive you.”

“There’s that beautiful smile I love,” he grins, moving closer to her. “I forgive you too.”

Her smile widens and she moves so their hands entwine. Her fingers squeeze his gently and he moves down so their foreheads touch. She slowly presses her mouth against his and he eagerly responds.

He pushes against her and kisses her with every ounce of passion and love he has for her inside him. His fingers card through her hair and she smiles against his mouth.

His touch no longer burned her; it excited her.

PERMANENT TAGS: @jessevans @fuckmewintertucker @ria132love @anastasiaannaa @bubblyaschampagne @kindnesswins @queen-valeskaxx @lilasiannerd @sammnipple @blueeyedboobear @mcuimxgine @marvel-fanfiction @blueskies-love @super-soldier-wifey @broken-pieces @xxchexchickxx @castawayreject @iamwarrenspeace @melconnor2007 @nerdyandproud9 @frostbyte-horan

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allofthisnonsenseplease · 7 years

Text

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 That's actually kind of a fun idea :oo reaper and 76 having no prior history

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 What would cause them to start interacting, tho? And what would they be fighting for? If they weren't in SEP & Overwatch together, the fall of OW leaves them no bitter enmity. oooh...what if Reaper was with Talon all along, Jack was with Overwatch, shit i was gonna say they got interested in each other but didn't realize, but that wouldn't work until post fall

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 Yeah I was thinking like Jack doing his thing in overwatch the whole time and gabe being in Talon the whole time And not crossing paths until post fall I mean they knew OF each other before that But didn't interact until after

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 right, right. but if they met each other with just their regular personas, and, like, i dunno, started bitching about the state of the world today and what's it all come to and they have grumpy old men feeding birds in the park dates before they find out that one is Reaper and the other is Soldier 76

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 ahahaha awwwwww gabe figures out who jack is pretty quickly just based on context clues and the fact that jack gives a total of zero fucks

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 finds out he's 76, you mean? 'cause i always feel like once he hits that point, he gives a lot of fucks about not being recognized as strike commander morrison. not that he's any good at hiding it. XD

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 YEAH 76 not sc i feel like in this version of events gabe wouldn't know jack's face well enough to identify him as the former sc awww they'd be so cute tho, just sitting on a park bench together, jack grumbling at the birds but still feeding them anyway gabe shaking his head, utterly amused, and pointing out that the bread crumbs jack's been giving them are terrible for the ducks that have been coming around jack just replies with a grumpy "fuck them"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 XD Jack, you bastard! What if, despite Talon, Gabe is still somehow more idealistic than Jack? Like, he thinks the path to making the world a better place lies in siding with this group at least for a while, but Jack just thinks everything has gone to shit and there's barely any point.

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 awwww QoQ their light conversation about the birds suddenly seems to be a big metaphor for much darker things

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 whoopsy daisy! XD

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 gabe counters jack's nihilistic attitude towards the birds (and apparently everything else) with some optimism and jack just kinda gives him a sideways glance asks in his grumbly coarse way, "what well-meaning conman fed you such convincing bullshit?" gabe wonders, silently, why someone who has been beaten down this much by the world is still fighting for it

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 Maybe he realizes that Jack isn't--he's not part of a group fighting for something bigger, he's working on his own and largely protecting small communities from gangs that move in. The thought makes him laugh, because it seems like, deep down, maybe Jack isn't quite so different...it's just the scale of what they see in front of them. ((like, i typed all that up assuming that Gabe is offing threats while in Talon and trying to do good while using them--possibly with the goal of getting rid of Talon itself once he's done))

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 qoq and then the time finally comes when one of gabe's missions for talon involves innocents as collateral damage and soldier 76 shows up

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 IN THE NAME OF THE MOON, HE'LL--no sorry wrong series

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 LOLLLLLL gabriel doesn't want to fight him so he tries to reason the big picture and all

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 NOPE

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 but jack morrison is done with big pictures

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 this is the core argument for the season i just finished fyi

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 omg what a coincidence

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 lol anyways Reaper being all 'You can't be so naive! Things aren't black and white, and there's no way to move forward without sacrifices.' Jack is just FUCK YOUR SACRIFICES EVERYTHING SUCKS ALREADY DON'T GO MAKING IT WORSE

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 jack will take your ideals and KICK THEM IN THE GODDAMN FACE BEFORE BURNING THEM he wrestles gabe to the ground and snarls that he will die before he lets fucking talon harm a single hair on a child's head and gabriel should be fighting for his life but he kind of falls a little in love right then and there

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 d'awww are we playing this serious, or does Gabe arch suggestively beneath him and tell Jack that if he wants to save anyone he's gonna have to come up with one hell of a distraction?

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 omgggggg jack freezes, caught between his total of two emotions he's been too spiteful to be thirsty the past several years

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 OH GOD GABE/REAPER HAS IT ALL

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 LOL jack doesn't give in - not yet, anyway, not this time - but gabe can see that he wants to he can work with that

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 JACK BEING A THIRSTY FUCK

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 for now, gabe's willing to count jack's several seconds of indecision as a victory

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 lol He tells Jack he'll concede this time since Jack's reaction was so intriguing. Jack can HEAR him smirking, and it pisses him off.

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 especially because goddammit that's attractive,,, FUCK,,, he's just a little too slow with his next punch. gabe is already wisping away

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 hahaha what if, back on the bench later on, Jack REALLY AWKWARDLY propositions Gabe and claims it's 'cause he needs to take the edge off. XD

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 omggggg JACK YOU USELESS HORNY MOTHERFUCKER too lazy to rub one out himself, has to fuckin proposition his bro dude

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 like, he doesn't even really mean to, he just opens his big stupid mouth and the words fall out all over each other

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 XDDDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 hey, handling it himself just isn't the same. XD

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 XDDD gabe hates that when he tries to say no because terrible idea all that comes out is a snarky "your place or mine?"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 "or," he amends, patting the bench, "if you don't care about having an audience..."

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 i'm still trying to come up with what Jack would say, and so far the best vote is 'What are you doing tonight? I need to get wrecked in the worst way.' orz i guess this is still him giving zero fucks XD

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 omg jackieeeee bee gabe starts accidentally going on a snarky ramble bc he's,, actually kinda nervous and jack just gets tired of the bullshit and smooches his face

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 !! ^^ smooches him good, pulls back just a bit and cups him thru his jeans and asks, voice low 'you interested or not?' AND SUDDENLY THE TABLES HAVE BEEN TURNED XD

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 gabriel, all starstruck, breathes a "y-yeah" and lets jack drag him off the bench gabriel assumes jack takes him back to his safe house, but it's admittedly kind of a blur given that all he could look at the entire time was jack's ass

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 it's like watching a real, live lego man, he thinks

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 AHAHAHA am i really this fucking hyped to wreck that stupid rectangle? goddammit i really REALLY AM

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 X'D they balance each other out so well this time XD

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 XDDDD gabe wakes up out of his trance when he's suddenly lying in jack's bed with a ripped as all hell grump on top of him

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 c'mon Gabe, get with the program!! Wake up and give him something to remember next time you come on to him in your goth persona!

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 LOLLLL fondle the boobs man just DO IT

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 Gabe makes Jack VERY happy that he asked

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 especially when things inevitably get rough and jack is Very pleasantly surprised that gabe can keep up more than keep up, really not many people can hold him down so easily if he weren't so out of his mind from it, he might think it strange another thing he didn't think through due to his intense Thirst........ he just brought a relative stranger back to his safe house smart move jack

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 lol OH WELL IT'S ONLY GABE WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN ((Reaper waiting there for him the next night with a rose clipped int he mouth of his mask))

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 LOLLLL GABE!!!

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 you motherfucker XDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 nah, nah. then the game would be over too soon altho, if 76 shows up next time and is all 'haha you thought i'd go for you, but I got my kicks elsewhere thanks, so fuck off with your noise' I kinda feel like he'd want some sort of petty revenge

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 omgggggg YOU FOOL YOU PLAYED YOURSELF my favorite phrase is relevant once again XDDDD maybe he shows off his most Sexy (tm) assets while being like "oh so you really want none of this ???" reaper: spawns one (1) tentacle 76: throws down his gun, immediately surrenders

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 X''''''D JACK NO YOU TOOK STEPS TO PREVENT THIS

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 he cannot resist the Tentacle tho it is jack's ultimate weakness gabe finds out about this by accident, of course

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 At the park next time, Gabe casually asks if Jack needs him again, thinking smugly that of course he does. But Jack is just. 'Listen. Last time isn't gonna cut it. I need you to fuck me up, understand??' Jack's way of asking to be saved from himself lol

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 OMG AKJNDFKADNFADF gabe is a little taken aback but is like YES SIR jack fists his collar and his eyes are kinda wild and scary and gabe is way too into it and he snarls "i don't think you get it. i need you to fuck me up. are we clear?"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 XD get it gabe!

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 this is when gabe finds out that jack is into some Shit but oh god gabe miscalculated. jack is sleeping with him to avoid sleeping with.... him. also he really wants to see how wild jack would get if he brought out the tentacles for real. but he can't do that. yet.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 XD But wait. What if Jack tells Gabe 'Sorry, but you just don't have the right equipment to give me what I need.' and Gabe is just 'exCUSE ME???'

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 KJSNFASKDJFN "YOU'RE GONNA HATE ME FOR THIS BUT I HOPE IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU NOT WANNA FUCK ME ANYMORE BUT--" omg gabe feeling weirdly gratified when he's fooling around w 76 as reaper but 76 says his name, not knowing it's him

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 omgomg XD Jaaaaack.... wanting Gabe but needing those tentacles....u bad thing

firesonic152 - 08/04/2017 emotionally needs gabe but the rest of him just wants to get wrecked enough to forget everything that's ever happened to him omg ahhh but this whole time gabe didn't know he was sc!! he just knows jack has a chip on his shoulder for some reason

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/04/2017 ahhh you're right what if...with the needs of his body being met, Jack slowly starts to open up to Gabe? Particularly after they've been together. It's never as rough as with Reaper, Gabe will draw things out to make him beg or cry, and Jack always ends up feeling a different sort of exhausted wrapped up in Gabe's arms afterward. (idc if Gabe does know about Jack--Gabe's a cuddler! XD)

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 okay, i LITERALLY just laid down to go to bed, but i pulled my computer back out to send you this before i forget it. What if the Strike Commander position really was just a figurehead? Like, if Jack had far less power than he's made out to hold? Like, the UN is in charge of what missions are accepted, how many personnel are approved to go, what weapons they can have, how long they can fight before they're recalled and it's writen off. Jack is basically the middle man, there to handle small problems that crop up and relay orders from the top and to be a fall guy, but, really, he isn't supposed to do anything without their approval. okay night night <3

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 yeah no wonder Jack is filled with hatred LOL As they're cuddling one night, Jack admits quietly, "I used to be someone important." He laughs without humor. "Least, they let me think I was."

How would Gabe react to finding out Jack was sc :thinking: probably sympathetically, given Jack's previous rambles/rants about how his job was a shitshow and he was pretty useless in a lot of cases but I want drama so hmmmmmm

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 What if gabe had a shot at joining SEP, but the last available slot was given to this Jack Morrison asshole who later became SC? Also, I guess Gabe doesn't know Jack's last name, apparently? XD

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 omg!!!! LOL yeah Jack probably wouldn't give it up so easily He's shitty at stealth, not stupid...... actually wait he is kinda dumb BUT HE HAS..... some...... common sense??????

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 XD just a smidge. we wouldn't want to get carried away.

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 .... self loathing, that's what he has doesn't wanna be attached to that name anymore there we go XDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 lol perfect.

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 Jack lets something slip and Gabe finally puts it together Gabe sits upright and stares. "Wait. You're Jack.... Morrison? Like...." Jack waits for the inevitable vitriol, tense and looking away. "The Jack Morrison who took my SEP slot?" This was not the accusation Jack was expecting. His head turns to stare at Gabe "What?"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 XD SUCK IT JACK YOU DID EVERYTHING WRONG AND THEN SOME!!

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 LOLLL "You stole my shot at fame and glory!" Gabe accuses, a hint of a grin pulling on his lips, unable to keep up the charade. "Fuck you, man."

Jack shifts uneasily, caught between Gabe's good natured reaction and his reflex to use anything and everything as fuel for his self loathing

"For what it's worth, it was a pretty shitty gig," he finally offers.

"A year of potentially lethal injections and near-fatal side effects, then a short stint actually helping during the crisis, and then just..." He visibly wilts. "Years... Decades, actually, of being a puppet."

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 jack. jaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. stop. enough.

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 He loves to party that jack Always throwing pity parties for himself

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 lol

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 I can't find a party hat emoji :((

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 huh. lame.

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 Well there's these :tada::tada::tada::tada::confetti_ball::confetti_ball::confetti_ball: Close enough Oh here's the drama(??). Now that Gabe knows the full extent of Jack's identity, he Definitely cannot reveal his own

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 :tada: :disappointed_relieved: :birthday:

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 there. a pity party.

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 Perfect

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 why does that change things? he already knew Jack was 76 and kinda burnt out on the big fight while still having some trace of his ideals left.

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 Tru :thinking: Maybe just the fact that like. Before this Gabe didn't really consider 76 an enemy of Talon specifically and more just a general hazard to look out for. But the strike commander was absolutely an enemy of Talon, and that's a dangerous position to be in. If anyone else in Talon found out Jack Morrison is still alive, it'd be bad news for Jack

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 You think he'd try to talk Jack out of seeing Reaper?

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 omg Maybe he just casually like... "So if you were strike commander you fought against Talon right....?" That Gabriel, smooth as silk

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 lol 'and...this other guy...the well-equipped one...isn't he with Talon?'

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 LOL NICE Gbe ... What happened phone *GABE Jack sends Gabe a sharp sideways glance, keen enough to realize Gabe has an ulterior motive with this line of questioning but too dumb (lbr) to figure out what it is

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 maybe he thinks it's just good old fashioned jealousy? XD

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 LOL yeah he would

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 or would that be a stretch, given his low self-worth?

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 he has zero sense of self worth in terms of his value as a person but he still has a realistic sense of his worth in bed XDD Probably thinks Gabe is jealous as a bed partner, not anything more

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 oh. that would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 :)) "Are you..." Gabe hesitates, trying to remember how much he's supposed to know question did Jack fuck reaper yet I forget XDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 yeah. tentacles.

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 >||3c

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 like, i don't think Reaper went full on tentacles--at least not the first time--but Jack had tentacles and ran back to Gabe in the hopes that getting Fucked Up would keep him from wanting the tentacles. Spoiler alert: it Did Not.

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 LOLLL LITTLE DOES HE KNOW Gabe bringing up reaper is digging up some unwanted desires for Jack so he cuts off the conversation with a meaningfully heated kiss "I slept with him once," Jack admits breathily when he pulls away, staring at Gabe's mouth. "It was fun but..." god damn was it fun "I'm lying in bed with you right now aren't I?"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 Jack, that's not exactly...I mean, kudos for not lying, but... XD

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 he's baiting :eyes: Simultaneously assuring Gabe that he has his attention while also leaving open the possibility of someone else stealing him away so that Gabe is incited to do what he can to get rid of that as an option

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 Smarter than he looks. =/ XD

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 Only when it comes to thirst LOL :heart: Gabriel hates that even though his rival in this situation is himself, Jack's gambit still works He bears down on top of Jack, pressing Jack's back into the mattress as he kisses him Covering Jack's body with his own. A possessive move. Jack doesn't bother hiding his satisfaction. Man so if Jack didn't have Gabriel during that whole stretch of time from sep to end of overwatch... He never had any significant romantic relationships At least I can't imagine he would have had any success in that area? Just a whole lot of meaningless hookups when he could manage it AHAHA God he's gonna suck at this Gabriel probably had a few crushes and things but not anything terribly significant either

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 Oh, dear. Jack is at even MORE of a disadvantage than usual.

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 Gabe asks him on a date and he combusts

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 Jack: You want...what? [cannot process. does not compute] Jack:...WHY???

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 LOLLL Jack: date... like........ sex but with rose petals on the bed??? Gabe: no like I want to take you to a nice restaurant Jack, struggling: to......... to do some kind of semi-public thing or Gabe: Gabe: looks at the camera

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 X'''''''''''D Jack: but...i'm already sleeping with you. you don't have to...uhh...earn it.

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 dkakdkakxka at which point Gabe realizes this is a deep dark pit he's uncovered

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 OH ONLY JUST NOW REALIZING IS HE? Gabe starts actually feeling bad for Jack oh shit. what if it translates into Reaper being more gentle, too? And Jack is just: ???????????i came for tentacles?? not sweetness???? haha unintended double entendre

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 LOLL djakcjakczlx Gabe is in too deep - said Jack never >||3c

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 pffffffffffffffft X'''''''''''''''''''''D

firesonic152 - 08/05/2017 ghhhhhh what if gabe asking jack out on a proper date freaks jack out a little bit so he does a quick calculation and decides taking his chances with reaper is better than risking further romantic advances at the moment and starts avoiding gabriel in favor of reaper (AGAIN, LITTLE DOES HE KNOW LOL)

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/05/2017 omg omgomg And he's like, well, at least I don't have to worry about the bloodthirsty mercenary expecting anything but a quick fuck from me. Except, instead of examining his life choices, he just blindly follows Reaper out of the end of a firefight and into a nearby safehouse...which happens to be stocked with an easily reheated, nice homemade meal, a bottle of wine, and some flickering LED candles in the bedroom.

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 LOL JACK U FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET FUCKED UP YOU THOUGHT!!!!!!

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 well, he can, but with a nice meal and some romantic lighting. XD

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 XDDD jack walks in, sees the romantic setup, and has to do more mental math tentacles.... versus romance............ give him a moment, he's not very good at math

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 XD COME ON JACK YOU KNOW THOSE TENTACLES ARE WORTH IT

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 AHAHAHA

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 jeezus. it's only the romance that's dubcon. XD

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 XDDDDD GABE JUST WANTS TO TREAT U RIGHT JACKIE JESUS jack jokes, only a tiny bit of discomfort in his voice, that he hopes the big bad reaper hasn't gone and fallen for a worn down old soldier. reaper doesn't deny it.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 oh. my. god. ;_; dude. not cool. upsetting.

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 :kissing_heart:

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 don't you kissy face me

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 :kissing_closed_eyes:

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 LOOK HERE what does Jack do next while that silence is growing longer and more fraught with meaning?

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 laugh nervously and try to goad reaper into throwing him into a wall?

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 think he'd get pissed? I mean, as angry and full of spite and self-loathing as this Jack is, when confronte with something he doesn't like, anger or violence seem likely modes of rejection.

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 absolutely yeahhh gabe is a stealthy dude he just likes birds man anyway jack of course gets pissed at the show of affection from reaper of all people and gabriel's heart hurts jack wants to start a fight, wants to get fucked up, but gabriel doesn't think he can do it anymore

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 oh lord. is it the big reveal? !!!! wait wait! what if Jack started an argument with him and took off, then went to go find Gabe. Rather than let Jack bait him into another fight, Gabe goes along with it and gives Jack what he wants, but pulls out his Reaper-y tentacle powers while they're in the middle of things in the hopes that Jack will be too overwhelmed and needy to run straightaway.

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 :OOO!!! risque

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 As soon as Jack realizes what's going on, he roars at Gabe to stop, and of course Gabe does. He lets Jack rail at him for a moment until Jack's anger turns inward, and he bitterly says that he should have noticed, should have picked up on all the little hints. He covers his eyes with his arm and mutters that Gabe smelled like him, but he hadn't wanted to think.... He asks 'Why?' and his voice is a broken croak. Was it all a ruse? Has he been tricked? To what end? Gabe learned he was Strike Commander, but nothing's come of that information, so WHY?? He jumps when Gabe reaches out to stroke his cheek.

'Nothing I've done with you has been false,' Gabe says.

Jack groans. He hasn't moved from beneath Gabe, but he can't be comfortable, and he's still hard.

'Do you want me to continue?' Gabe asks. When Jack only nods, grimacing, he holds back. 'Say it clearly for me.'

'Just fuck me for God's sake!'

Gabe is gentle. So very, very gentle, but aside from that, he gives Jack everything he asks for, everything he demands in his breathless cries.

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 kjfnakdfjakjnfkjsdnfadf b o ys afterwards, jack just watches gabe for awhile. it's searching, a little on the intense side. gabriel finally asks what jack's doing, and jack shrugs, looks away self-consciously. "was just wondering," he says. his voice is thick. he clears his throat and continues, "if you'd been in sep with me. just wondering what our lives would be like."

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 fffffffffffff

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 LITTLE!!! DOES HE KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 Gabe, reaching out to take his hand and kiss his knuckles: I'd've had more time to make you happy.

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 MELTING GABRIEL MARRY ME jack manages to not recoil and is a little taken aback by the warmth in his chest

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 he's bothered to think that he might be starting to want that. particularly since he doesn't think it's going to last, or that it might not even be real. he gathers his things and leaves, needing to think. To his slight surprise, Reaper and Gabe--he still can't quite think of them as the same person--give him his space. He sees Reaper during fights, but Reaper never approaches him, actually takes out an enemy or two that had been aiming for Jack. He avoids the park where he met Gabe, but when he passes by the safe house--not planning to go in, it was just where he ended up wandering--there are flowers left on the doorstep.

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 CLUTCHES CHEST after so many years of being gutted by governments and media and every organization under the sun, is it really okay for him to give gabriel a hollowed out shell?

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 ; ; so when he's ready--and he doesn't feel ready, but he misses the way Gabriel touched him and spoke to him and, damn it all, just the way Gabriel looked at him--he goes back to where it started--the park bench. He waits. It takes a while, of course. He's been avoiding Gabe for days, but eventually, Gabe comes strolling down the path. He manages to not show surprise at the sight of Jack there, but maybe in the way he sighs quietly when he sits down, the way his shoulders lots their tension, the way he leans forward, elbows braced on his knees...maybe somewhere in all of that Jack can believe that Gabriel is relieved to see him.

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 QOQ there are so many things jack wants to say, so many caveats about how he's got nothing left to offer gabe but he wants to try anyway, about how he doesn't know what he's doing (and if he's being honest, he's scared) but he's starting to think maybe that's okay, about how he has so many regrets but if this was the path he had to take to find gabe then it's all been worth it, and a million other self-deprecating and grateful things. but it's too much all at once. maybe he'll get around to them one at a time later. for now he just manages a quiet "sorry," and then "i want to try. if... if you still want to."

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 'Even though I'm the Reaper?' It's only barely a question. Jack hesitates, then nods. 'Haven't quite forgiven you for hiding that. You've known about me for a while. Can't promise I won't try to take a little revenge next time we meet on opposing sides.' He's more relieved than he'll ever admit when Gabe chuckles at that. 'Fair enough.'

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 YAYYY HAPPY ENDING although gabe still works for talon awks

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 lol they'll work it out. or kill each other. either way.

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 the real jack morrison would never pass up a chance to die

SuspiciousPopsicle - 08/06/2017 lol Gabe will give him many small deaths

firesonic152 - 08/06/2017 >||3c

#cornfuck and the reaper #R76 plot ideas #contains both tentacles and some feelsy garbage

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