#it doesn’t make it toxic it makes it JUICY

[meggannn]

there’s a theory around that peter b stalled miles on purpose to help miguel capture him, which i find kind of funny despite being antithetical to their entire relationship and also not making much sense, because it generously ascribes three things to peter: 1. active maliciousness, 2. the ability to act, and 3. the ability to plan ahead, all traits we have two movies’ worth of proof that peter categorically does not possess

[bluejeanstrash]

rule no. 1

summary: you have a no-contact rule going with your ex, choi seungcheol, but fortunately unfortunately for you, he’s not really the type to follow them.

tags: ex! seungcheol x reader, seungcheol’s kind of toxic and doesn’t know how to let go, tit sucking (both cheol and reader), piv sex, protected sex, then unprotected sex (stay safe out there), pet names (daddy, good girl), cheol is written based off EXACTLY how he looks in these pictures | wc: 2.7k

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8:11 PM

[choi seungcheol] hey

[you] what

[choi seungcheol] can we meet today?

[you] i don’t think that’s a good idea

[choi seungcheol] just to talk. nothing else. i swear.

[you] dude, what are you doing? you know we’re supposed to be going no contact. plus, it’s raining

[choi seungcheol] i’ll come to you

[choi seungcheol] and don't call me dude ever again or i'll seriously kill myself

[you] NO. do not come here. it’s late. let’s talk tomorrow okay?

11:17 PM

[choi seungcheol] i’m downstairs

[you] seungcheol..

[choi seungcheol] you want me to leave? i drove all this way though?

[you] fine.

[you] just talking.

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his shock red hair. that’s the first thing you notice after opening the door, followed by just how good he looks with it. stop.

seungcheol walks straight in, fishing his car keys out of his pocket and dropping them in that little bowl on your shoe cabinet. then he looks at you. no, he checks you out, his eyes slowly sliding up your body to see what you’re wearing.

god, he has no self control. you knew he’d do that, which is why you’d worn your frumpiest PJs. a clear visual indication that nothing was going to happen tonight.

‘just talking’ you reiterate, drawing an imaginary line on the floor with your foot.

seungcheol laughs, extending his arm, signaling you to walk ahead and lead the way. the thing is, he wants to check your ass out. though you may think this is your frumpiest pair, there’s something in the material which makes it cling to your cheeks, making them look extra juicy.

seungcheol follows behind you, maintaining the “line” until you pause abruptly and he takes a step too close. just like that, he’s already crossed it, and then, he’s already kissing you, already taking off his glasses, already tossing his beanie aside, already grabbing your ass, already carrying you to the bedroom.

‘t-this is a bad idea’ you stutter, trying to find some of that self-control you keep asking him to show.

‘i know. so bad’ he breathes into the curve of your neck, sucking on the skin hungrily until it breaks. ex-seungcheol was obsessed with leaving marks of himself on you — hickeys, bites, hand prints.

he stumbles into the bedroom, leaving the lights off, and sets you down on the edge of the bed. no, you can't be doing this again.

‘seungcheol, i really don’t think-’

‘shh, don’t say anything, just kiss me. look at me' he grabs your chin, angling your face up ‘kiss me’ he says like it���s just that simple. seungcheol snakes his long tongue into your mouth, kissing you, his hands busy unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down just enough to let his cock breathe. as you kiss, he lays you down on the bed, driving a knee in between your legs to spread them apart.

‘do you still like it when i do this?’ he asks, as if there’s any answer apart from fuck yes, and presses his knee to your core, grinding hard, sending pulses of pleasure straight through you. you answer with an involuntary moan, stifling it just in time so he doesn't hear.

you see, seungcheol doesn't need an answer from you. he can already guess from your erect nipples which are poking through the thin fabric of your t-shirt, asking to be sucked on. who's he to deny them that? so, he pushes your t-shirt up, above your tits, grabbing and pressing them together, and buries his face into the valley of your breasts.

‘fuck’ he inhales ‘missed this’

ex-seungcheol was all about missing you — missed your smell, missed this pussy, missed your pretty little mouth, missed you. you know seungcheol. you know once he latches onto your tits, he's not leaving till you both have finished. so, you make a last-ditch attempt.

‘you know that article i sent you?’ he cups a breast in each hand, rolling, teasing, and tugging your nipples in between his fingers.

‘it-’ god, that feels good ‘it says the best way for us to do this is to go no-contact. really’

‘yeah?' you nod, surprised he's even listening.

‘fuck that article’ and with that he takes you in his mouth, swirling his tongue around your areola before latching his soft lips onto your hard nipples. fine, just one last time then, you pacify yourself and let go. you sink into the feeling of your breasts being sucked on, while your fingers sink into his thick hair, tugging on tufts of red.

‘the red looks fucking hot, by the way’ your compliment sandwiched in between soft moans. seungcheol pulls off your breast, looking up at you, a sudden hunger in his eyes.

ex-seungcheol loves compliments. loves them. — compliment his face, his hair, his built, and definitely compliment his cock. he needs to be desired by his exes.

he leans back, ripping his overshirt and t-shirt off, his hair falling wildly over his face. seungcheol runs both his hands through his locks, slicking his hair back. ‘take your clothes off’ he’s got a little gruff in his voice ‘now’

you undress hastily, and it’s not until you see a cocky grin spread across his face, you realise what he’s noticed.

‘just talking, huh?’

you’re wearing those panties — the ‘pull aside pair’ as he called it. seungcheol loved these on you, it was his favourite because firstly, they just about covered your cunt and secondly, they would ride right up your ass giving him the best view. you and him both knew that if you’re going to wear these panties, he’s going to fuck you with them on.

of course you’d prepped incase he did come over, which had happened one too many times before, but the optics of this really don’t help your no-contact agenda.

‘let’s talk then’ he pulls his jeans and boxers off, his cock springing out. yummy.

‘why don’t we talk about how you’re wearing these, hhmn?’ he cocks an eyebrow, snapping the band of your underwear hard ‘you know what happens when you wear these’ you can’t count the number of times he’s cum on your ass while you were in them.

he pulls your panties to the side, and there, another surprise. ‘oh, fuck me’ he groans needily. not only have you shaved down there, but you’ve trimmed your hair just the way he likes it.

‘fucking hell’ seungcheol curses again, licking and sticking a finger inside you, feeling your wet warmth pull his finger right in. ‘or no, let’s talk about how i can already fit one. no, two. oh? three?’ yes, three.

‘three of my fingers inside your pussy so easily’ he slides them in, all three coming out with a glossy sheen. and then, in a sickeningly sensual move, his runs his flat tongue over all three, licking them clean.

‘you taste like you need a dick inside you’ seungcheol grabs his, slapping it hard against his cupped palm. it’s like every thought in your mind turns into mush at the sound, and suddenly you’re just a hole. an empty hole.

‘cheollie’ you shouldn’t be calling him that ‘please put your big fat dick inside me. i need you so bad, cheollie’ you know exactly what to say to seungcheol to make him tick. ex or not.

he groans, pulling down a pillow and placing it under your lap to lift your hips. then he positions himself, lining himself up to your entrance.

‘wait’ you pause, much to his dicks disappointment, to grab a condom from the bedside table, your body twisting on its side. fuck, that ass looks good, seungcheol thinks, giving it a tight slap. ‘mmm’ you bite your lip, looking back at him.

‘again, daddy’ he slaps it even harder, the force of his palm making ripples on your skin. he looks at you now, so full of lust, and he can’t remember why he ever let you go. stupid fucking decision.

‘be a good girl and put it on for me’ it was one those odd things that really turned him on. he watches now as you rip the condom wrapper with your teeth, slowly rolling down its slippery edges onto his fat dick.

‘now come to daddy’ you lay back down as he grabs your legs and slides you towards him, a little squeal spilling out of you.

‘tell me what you want’

‘i want your fat dick inside my tight wet pussy’

‘that’s my girl’ he hooks two fingers under the ribbed fabric of your panties and pulls them aside, sliding his tip up and down your slick folds a few times before pushing just his fat mushroom head in. ‘fuck’ you both curse at the same time, and in the same breath as he penetrates you little by little until he’s all the way in.

‘shit, missed this pussy so much’ and you don’t say it out loud, but as he starts thrusting you’re reminded of just how much you missed his cock. no amount of vibrators and dildos could do for you what seungcheol is doing right now. it’s like he’s been able to scratch an itch deep, deep inside you. literally.

seungcheol repositions himself, leaning a little lower, angling his strokes a little higher, his cock teasing the roof of your pussy. once he’s satisfied with how he’s buried inside you, he slides his big hands up your arms before gripping your wrists tightly, shackling them in his palms, and slams down, pinning you onto the bed and fucking you.

‘oh fuck, yes’ you moan, in that nasal little way you do, which he finds stupidly hot.

‘that’s what daddy likes to hear’ he grins, his tongue touching his canines.

speaking of stupidly hot, you can’t help but notice how good he looks on top of you. has he gotten bigger? looks like it. his chest seems to have doubled, looking bigger, firmer, and frankly, more suckable. has he gotten hotter? definitely. maybe it's an ex thing or maybe it’s the red hair. god bless his hairdresser.

you’re a little dazed honestly, by his buff(er) built, especially the silver cross necklace that’s hanging off his thick neck, swinging above your face with every thrust.

‘like what you see?' he raises his eyebrow, catching you staring, and in response you bite on the dangling silver and pull him down towards you. you take his tongue into your mouth, swapping spit like a couple of teenagers.

now closer to you, you get a whiff of the faint smell of alcohol and cigarettes coming off him. you wonder where he was before this, and who got to see him looking this fine. there’s a hot sting of jealousy that cools when his chain skims across your breast, the cold metal making your nipples hard in an instant. seungcheol gets distracted by your tits once again, pushing them together and holding on as he fucks you.

‘love your tits’

‘love yours’ oh, they’ve definitely gotten bigger, you think, cupping one in your hand and circling your thumb over his nipple.

‘fuck yes, suck on it’ he bends, and you take him in your mouth, sucking on his tits, flicking his hard nub with your wet tongue.

‘yes, that’s it, good girl’ he grabs a fistful of your hair, pushing your face into his chest. seungcheol loved getting his nipples stimulated, and you feel the pleasure you're giving him pound straight back into you.

‘fucking love your pussy’

‘mmm, love your fat cock in my pussy’

‘love-’ the words are at the tip of his tongue, but before he says the stupid thing he’s not supposed to say, you kiss him, clenching your cunt so tightly and abruptly that it knocks the strength out his arms for a split second.

‘fuck, that feels amazing’ he groans ‘love your pussy so much. it’s made just for me’

‘just mine to fuck, only mine’ his possessiveness — one of the reasons it didn’t work, but so sexy in this moment.

‘yeah?’ you know what he’s really asking. he wants to know if you’ve fucked anyone else in your weeks apart, if there’s a legitimate reason for that condom separating the both of you or if its a formality. he needs to know.

ex-seungcheol is greedy — he reminded you of a bratty child at times. it was not his toy anymore but he refused to let anyone else play with it. mine!

‘only yours’ you say, and take it a step further, whispering into his ear ‘i’m only yours so take the condom off and fuck me raw’

the no-contact rule dies a violent death as he pulls out, yanking off the condom and sliding his fat, veiny, throbbing cock back inside you in what seems like less than a second.

‘fuck’ the sensation of your raw slippery cunt in contrast with how tight you’re clenching around his dick makes him curse. you wrap your legs around his waist, digging the heels of your foot into his back to push him deeper inside you.

‘y-yes, i can feel you so deep’ you breathe, two of your fingers sliding down to rub your swollen clit in sloppy circles.

‘god i love it when you play with your pussy with my dick deep inside you’ he’s fucking you so forcefully now that the slap of his skin against yours is all that can be heard.

your arch your back, closing your eyes and focusing hard on all the ways you’re being stimulated — your fingertips on your clit, the tip of his penis pressing against your walls, and his heavy balls slapping against your asshole — all the sensations twisting into a knot in your stomach.

‘you’re there, right there. do it’ he guides you ‘be a good girl and cum for me now’ his words are all you need as the knot tightens and then unravels, the orgasm taking over you from your head to your toes. it’s an addictive high, one that you’ve desperately missed, and it leaves you shaking and stuttering under him.

‘yes, there you go, there it is. fuck’ he pulls out his cock halfway, reeling at the sight of your creamy white cum coating it ‘look at that. oh you’re such a good girl for creaming all over daddy’s dick’

you breathe a satisfied breath, feeling your cunt continue to clench involuntarily at his praise, his pace suddenly picking up.

‘squeeze around my dick just like that’ he grabs both your legs, holding them together by the ankle and turns your body so you’re laying on your side, your legs folded at your knees. your pussy is so tight in this position, and your ass looks extra fat. ‘fucking hot’ he praises, moaning as you squeeze so tight around him, over and over. he knows he’s about to blow.

‘cum on my ass, daddy’ it’s tradition at this point. seungcheol pulls out, perfectly positioning himself over your ass and frantically jerks off, the squelch of his strokes filling the room. he grabs a handful in his other hand, squeezing hard. ouch. that’s going to leave a mark.

‘cum for me’ you sing seductively, his breath catching in his throat. ‘cover me in your cum, daddy. i’m all yours to cum on. i’m only yours’ you remind, and that pushes him right over the edge as he cums with a loud long grunt, shooting his thick, warm, milky load all over your cheeks. and god, there’s so so much of it.

‘holy shit. how long have you been storing that?’ you scoop some up with your fingers, giving it a taste ‘mmm, yum’

honestly, seungcheol’s a little surprised by his load too, shaking his head and laughing softly as you review his cum. ‘wait, let me just get the, where is that thing?’

he picks up his crumpled overshirt, a balenciaga shirt mind you, off the floor and cleans the cum off you, then wipes his own dick down.

‘i can’t believe you still do that’

‘do what?’

‘use your expensive ass clothes to wipe cum like they’re disposable tissues or something’

he shrugs ‘they may as well be for me’

you roll your eyes at that, starting to remember reasons as to why he’s your ex again.

‘oh, by the way’ seungcheol rolls up the cum rag shirt before chucking it back onto the floor.

‘were you seriously trying to bring up an article on how to break up while i was sucking on your tits?’

you chuckle cutely ‘yeah, i was actually. but fuck that article, right?’

‘yeah’ he nods, pouting in agreement ‘fuck that article’ he breaks into a huge smile, looking at you fondly as you both crack up, and finds himself asking the question he always does after one these nights — why did you both break up again?

[tiazvni]

what about y/n that had to block eren in order for her to try and be with someone else. eren and y/n were never together but erens just possessive asf and they have always had something going on. like y/n goes to a party with this new guy and eren confronts her about it shortly after realising that she is there with a different guy.

i know it’s similar to other works you’ve done but just the thought of eren making y/n so weak just from his presence like ugh.

of course we all know how it ends tho :)

none of that might have made sense but i’m begging u. please.

give in | eren jaeger

words : 569

warnings : fem!reader, black coded, possessive!eren, toxic!eren, fwb!eren

eren seethed as he watched your most recent instagram story from his burner phone. dick jumping in his pants when a picture of you, so sweet and soft-looking, filled his screen, taken mere minutes before he pulled up outside of your house.

you were getting ready for a date - a juicy tidbit relayed to him by one of his sources - and he couldn’t stand the sight of you looking so pretty for another man. not when you just had his dick down your throat last week.

he shrugged himself out of his car and reached your front door in quick strides, knocking on the hardwood with a heavy hand. you shouted to him that you were coming! - double checking your appearance in your mirror before rushing downstairs to greet who you thought was your date.

but no, it was just your ex-friend-with-benefits.

“what the hell, eren,” you huffed, glaring at him with those beautiful brown eyes that drive him crazy. “i thought i told you to stop showing up at my house unannounced.”

“nah, fuck that. where the hell do you think you’re going?”

you choked on your breath. “excuse me?”

eren took a single step forward, crossing the threshold into your living room as he stared you down. his dark eyes narrowed as he looked you over - noting your sleek hair that reached your waist in waves, sultry eyelashes, glossed lips, thick body wrapped like a gift in a black silk dress, and dainty feet with painted toes strapped in the sexiest pair of heels he’s ever seen.

it’s almost like you were trying to kill him.

“you heard me,” eren scoffed. “you thought i wasn’t gonna find out about you trying to give my pussy away, hm?”

“my pussy doesn’t belong to you, eren.”

“like hell it does. you must’ve forgot the way i had you crying last week, mamas.”

you tried not to shiver at his words, clit twitching in your underwear as you wracked your brain for the memory of how you both got to this point. having gone from childhood friends to perpetual fuck-buddies, eren’s toxicity has been a recurring theme throughout the entirety of your life.

from the moment you let him fuck you after a smoke session for the first time, agreeing to a simple no-strings-attached deal, you should have known he would be the one to catch feelings all too quickly. but like the silly bitch you were, you forgoed all of his red flags solely because of the way he made your pussy sore during missionary.

but last week was the last time. never again would you give in to his control like he so craved.

“see, this is why i blocked your ass. you act like you own me the second i get the slightest bit of attention from another guy, and i don’t have time for it.” you shove at his chest, hardly moving him an inch back. “get the fuck out of my house, eren!”

“nah, strip for me.” eren licks his lips, unbothered by your words or your attitude.

your breath hitches as he moves another step closer, smirking at the sudden flash of desire clouding your doe eyes. he shuts your front door behind him, eyes never leaving yours as he shifted the locks on your door back in place, watching as each click made your body jump.

“let me see what you’re so eager to show him.”

um i WILL be making a part 2 to this. i literally wrote this during my lunch break at work — i hope it’s to your liking!! <3 <3

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Title: Union

Yandere! The ‘General!’ x fem! Reader!

(Mr Villain's Day Off)

Warnings: general yandere themes, toxic relationship, blood and slight(?) gore, violence (reader’s neck is bitten), idealization/fantasies of murder, implied possessiveness, and obsessiveness, implied codependent behavior.

I took liberation with this and created the custom of the General’s species biting the neck of their lover as some sort of vow. Like with Omega Au.

He’s out of character in this lmao.

MINORS/BLANK BLOGS/LURKERS/DNI

Disclaimer: I do not support or encourage any of the toxic and harmful behaviors/thoughts that may take place in this piece of fiction. It should not be romanticized or even considered normal as it is both extremely toxic and dangerous.

Word count: 1261k

---

His teeth hurt.

Sharp and pearly white, now stained with your blood. Your nails claw into his shoulders, his trench coat softening the impact. He’s more like a vampire and not an alien, you think. This twisted sense of… union isn’t really your thing. Not when it involves teeth and blood, the ritual being repeated once every other year, something that is expected and welcomed by his species.

You wouldn’t have minded it if you had decided to stay. But you do because you wanted out, tired of his little secrets, the long nights, the hidden phone calls. You would have rather that he was cheating on you, an unfaithful bastard who couldn’t keep it in his pants.

Instead, you got an alien who didn’t understand what ‘no’ meant.

A little too faithful, too love stricken to see past that beautiful, beautiful tinted rose filter. And he wanted the same from you, it seems. With sharp teeth and an iron grip, he held you in place, desperate after an hour of pleas that were so unlike him.

One of his hands held the back of your neck, keeping you in place. His ring feels cold, his blunt nails feel sharp, he’s stronger, bigger than you. Resistance was futile.

His teeth dig deeper, rougher. Tears form in your eyes, running down your face in big, fat streaks, sobbing into the collar of his coat. Everything is a blur, and his free hand rubs circles into your back, attempting to soothe you. It doesn’t, it makes you feel worse because it reminds you that this man is not just a monster but has feelings and guilt like everyone else –

You genuinely, genuinely hate this alien? Man? You despise him, wanted to scalp him alive, to stab a knife through his heart until the only color you could see was red. But you would never be able to do that. Nor will you be able to drive a knife through your own heart just to escape your dammed faith.

“I’m sorry, please endure it for a bit longer…,” he gasps out before he sinks his teeth into your neck again. Your own dug into his hair, fingers pulling at his roots. The tears don’t stop and neither does his bite.

“Hurts – it hurts!” sobbing, you still attempt to push and pull his head away, but to no avail. It’s a miracle you’re still alive, breathing, and able to think. Crimson runs down your neck, stains your pretty lacy white shirt, all the while the man enjoys his sweet, sweet time with you. Like enjoying a juicy steak.

“…Hah… it’s done,” his tone, despite being comforting, was a shrill scream in your ear. His tongue pokes out, only to lick the wound, saliva mixing in with blood. It’s slimy and roughish, with a squishiness to it. Like a warm wet rag pressed against your neck. The only difference being it’s an organic tongue and not some fabric.

“… I’m sorry,” another lick, another circle rubbed onto your back. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts –

“I know it hurts… I forgot how… fragile humans could be. I’m sorry.” Too tired to fight back anymore, you fall limp in his embrace. Your jaw goes slack, eyelids too heavy to keep open. The void is calling for you.

You should have rejected his help, that day. You should have carried those heavy bags up the stairs that day, even if it meant you would have pulled a muscle or two. You should have ignored him when you kept running into him, both of you surprised to see the other so frequently. You should have kept your mouth shut and feelings hidden, your confession forgotten and your first kiss nonexistent.

Should have done this, should have done that – it’s too late to wallow in the past. The mirror cracked long ago, just like your sense of self. Like your trust in the one person who should have been your ‘everything.’ Whatever that was.

Something you realized was harmful for you, but he refused to acknowledge it. To accept it.

You should have rejected his invitation to his apartment. To get your stuff back. You should have avoided him instead of still trusting him once he let his true identity slip through that tongue of his. How naïve and stupid of you.

Stupid, stupid, stupid girl.

“I haven’t felt this way about anyone, before.”

Neither have you.

“You make me rethink my stance on humans.” He sits you down on his couch, reaching for the medical supplies sitting at the side. He prepared for this. He’s always been ready for this.

You never had a say-so in the matter. How cruel.

“You make me question myself, and what I’m fighting for.” Your eyes shut close, a towel – wet and warm – pressed against the open wound. He holds it there for a good while. Assuring that his prized ‘lover’ would be patched up in no time.

“Our customs are different from yours. It’s painful, even for us. But you don’t have to relive this pain.” You’re vaguely aware of the cotton ball, of the scent of medical ointments and the towel being pressed against the bleeding wound once more. You’re too tired to open your eyes, but you fear you might die if you don’t.

“… You should… have let me go.” It’s broken and weak, almost less than a whisper, but you manage to talk. It’s painful and took extreme amounts of effort, but you talked. You almost wish you would die – but the fear of meeting nothing but a black abyss on the other side of the road scares you more than this fiend.

He doesn’t say anything. Just tends to the wound that he inflected on you like it was just another Tuesday night. You never asked for this. You would have never asked for this, the pain, the betrayal he’s hidden from you these past two years.

You almost wish he only said ‘yes’ just to use you. A sick twisted sense of humor, a past time he could always forget at a later date. Amusement that would grow boring, dull. A toy he could have left in an open field, neither destroying it nor loving it.

If this was a romance story, then this would have been the best ending. Two crossed-star-lovers who put aside their differences to be together. One changing his view on the ‘enemy’ because his sweetheart was from that group. They fail to show the ugly side of ‘love.’

You had chosen a rotten apple and now it has poisoned you.

“… I know that you must hate me.”

You do, you hate him as much as you fear him.

“But I…”

Ring!

Ring!

Ring!

His phone goes off exactly three times before he fishes it out of his coat pocket, a sneer displayed on his mouth. His teeth show, dyed red. Still sharper than a knife.

You don’t get to see the caller ID.

“– General! Listen, I know that it is your off day – “

“Get to the point. I’m giving you five seconds before I hang up.”

You don’t get to hear the conversation, either. You could barely feel the wet rag dabbing your neck. Or the smell of herbs. You wonder if he would let you die just like this. Or if he would find a way to ‘save’ you.

Nothing matters anymore, you suppose.

Not when the ‘General’ decided that you were lovelier than a rose and brighter than the stars amongst a darken sky.

[ratsoh-writes]

What kind of meals/food can you only find in Ebbott? (And be specific! Don't just say "magic" Ratsoh)

lets start with a list of all old (and some new) ebott only crops and animals:

Powder shrooms: these are gears favorite mushrooms. It’s a small honey colored mushroom with a black circle on the head. They have a very nice buttery taste and can be eaten raw but are best as stuffing for savory dishes. They get the name because they dry fast and the powder was used as flour for the nomads. They also grow like weeds and are easy to maintain

Snap root: it was showcased in the 1k event. It’s a spiny purple skinned root with a brown flesh. It gets its name from the way the vines “snap” up when sunlight hits it. The root has a lovely taste like a cross between pumpkin, sweet potato, and nutmeg and is mostly used in pies and sweet dishes

Crab “apples”: a fruit shaped like a crab. It’s technically not an apple despite the similar taste. It’s the most common fruit of the underground and the farmtale valley. The fruits are slightly sour and rarely larger than the palm of a small hand. The most common shape is the crab shape, but they also come in ducks, pyramids and spirals.

Flossy sticks: it’s a celery like vegetable. The plant looks like a normal leafy bush with very long stems, but as soon as you cut one stem off, it explodes into thousands of tiny floss like strands. They can be boiled into pasta, dried and powdered to be used as flour, or eaten raw. They have a crisp lemon and basil like taste.

Twigs: nobody knows why the vegetable is called this because it looks nothing like a twig. It’s a large orange long cucumber like vegetable. Normally about 3 feet long and 6 inches wide. It has a woodsy tea leaf taste to it. Also puréeing the flesh and mixing it with alcohol is what makes drinks that can temporarily change hair and eye color.

Lion lily: the fruit is named after the striking maned flowers that come before it. The flowers look like lilies but at the base of the flower is a fluffy golden “mane” of cotton strands. The fruit is the size of a tangerine and is golden and perfectly round with a large pit in the middle. It has an extremely sweet taste and soft juicy flesh. It’s so sweet it often doesn’t need sugar added when used in cakes and pies.

Golems salad: a massive fkn head of kale. Like this thing is freaking the size of a car. It’s a magical variety that grows when eight heads of kale are planted in a circle, and carefully nurtured by a golem monster each day. The result is that monstrosity. Overnight the kale comes together, morphing into one plant and will grow to monstrous sizes. It’s said the bigger the salad the stronger the golem

Tumblers: it’s identical to a normal cabbage and tastes like a normal cabbage, but if you wait too long to harvest it, it will literally jump out of the ground and run away at the vibrations of footsteps. It also hisses.

Sweet salt: a spice from the underground that is ground from the seeds of the fir trees that grow in snowdin. It’s very sweet and is described to taste like a blend of brown sugar, cinnamon and black pepper. Tastes like gyftmas

Gyftmas ornaments: the same seeds you can get from snowdins fir trees can also be peeled and pickled. They make a lovely sweet sour treat and are usually dyed to match gyftmas colors.

Tarotile: a flat leaf from a magical plant related to poison ivy. The plant is toxic to humans but delicious to monsters. It’s banned outside of ebotts shores, and has to be labelled very clearly before being sold. Monsters describe it as tasting like a delicious wild berry blend but with a leafy texture. Makes a delicious tea and is wonderful in sweet salads

Sea eggs: an ebott only variety of seaweed will grow these pockets of soft cucumber like fruit in the stalks. Reportedly all the sea monsters have seen and harvested this plant before the crash. It tastes a bit more sour and citrusy than a normal cucumber but has all the texture and water content of one. Weirdly enough there’s nothing magic about this plant. It just likes ebott

Cattails: not to be confused with the non magical reeds that grow near water, cattails is a popular vegetable grown in ebott. It prefers dryer land, only wanting water every few days. It resembles a golden long grass, and when it’s ready to harvest, the grass ends open up to reveal a fluffy thick fiber inside. The result is a pretty feathery plant resembling a cats tail, hence the name. Pull the fibers and on the ends are little grains that are boiled to use a porridge, a flour substitute, or the binding agent of ebotts famous lion jello.

Heartyheads: a thick leafy bush, what makes it classed as magic is that it literally turns into rose quarts when exposed to fire. But it’s not reliable as a source of quarts since it slowly turns back when cooled down. The young leaves can only be eaten raw but are an amazing source of iron and are said to help with inflammation. This plant can only be killed by being dug out of the ground and left to dry out.

Fizzlers: a tomato like plant that grows small baby tomato sized pink, purple and blue fruits (ornamental ones only for blue) the fruit is a key ingredient in fizzy drinks in place of carbonation. The fruit produces lots of bubbles when exposed to water. They’re delicious and taste just like that fake grape flavor humans love

Gauzeberries: a berry that came from the outer-AUs. They all say they found the mysterious bush growing on the asteroids of the asteroid belt they orbited. The bush has silver white leaves, is very small, rarely growing higher than 2 feet, and produces small white berries encased in a gauzelike silk pouch. The plant only grows in cold temperatures and must be kept in fridge rooms with natural sunlight any month except winter. The berries have a crisp grape like taste and when eaten, causes one to float a few inches off the ground for an hour

Rougish grapes: this is a grape variety developed by two monsters from birdfell, and the rights bought by harpy. It’s a very large crimson red grape, each individual fruit nearly the size of an apricot, and is able to be harvested from summer to fall. The grapes have a sweet but peppery taste and are best fermented into wine. They are also proven to be amazing with hair loss.

Baited breath: a small thistle-like herb that grows beautiful thorny blue flowers. The flowers when they open in the mornings make a sighing noise, like someone exhaling. The seeds of this plant are sweet and aromatic, so are often added to a wide variety of dishes. They were also historically chewed on to clean teeth and are known to help humans and monsters alike recover from cavities

Dragons breath: the larger cousin to bated breath, this large thistle like herb grows to five feet and can make thorny black flowers the size of a humans head. The dragons breath flowers let out a brief puff of flame when they open in the morning, and their seeds are large and spicy in flavor. A very popular snack through all of ebott. They are also ground into a spice called dragons hoard.

Whimselites: this is a small bundle of leaves on a whimsot plant, a low growing vine. It was found in every underground au, and continues to be grown and harvested in the underground. If new leaf growths aren’t harvested, eventually the little bundles open up and pop off the mother plant to start a new one. They go great in salads and taste a lot like rocket leaves.

Snails Bane: the plant looks like a rock, but if you step on it, it’ll squish down secreting a snail like slime. It’s also very toxic to snails and should never be kept near them. The plant when cooked, is cut open and left to dry in the sun, before being sliced and put into stews as a flavoring agent. It tastes like chicken and is a favorite among ebotts vegetarians.

Loomy runners: a small magical radish that has two large roots at the end of its bulb. When exposed to fire, the radish will stand up on its roots and run away like a wobbly baby learning to walk. It must be cut up in pieces before being eaten, and sometimes the radish pieces will still flip around in the oven so covered baking dishes are recommended

Garwins Gourd: a large twisted gourd native to farmswap, garwins gourd is an attractive flamingo pink color when ripe and has a sweet taste not unlike a sweet potato. It can be cut up and puréed for pies or stews, boiled and mashed, or sautéed, but it cannot be eaten raw as heat is needed to bread down the thick fibers of the raw vegetable. The gourd also can be dried and is used as a cute storage container by many farm monsters. In recent years, fans of the plant have been able to grow yellow and orange varieties

Bloodroot: edible by monsters, but must be strained several times to be safe for human consumption, bloodroot is a thick large carrot like root that “bleeds” a crimson liquid when cut. The root eaten on its own tastes like a woody earthy grape mixed with a parsnip. It strangely smells like beef until cooked. The reasons for this is that the plant uses an animals digestive tract to strip the thick outer coat on its seeds. And when they come out the “other end” they can safely sprout when freed from their confines. Carnivorous animals are drawn to the root

Claymore mushroom: if directly stepped on by something heavy, this large blue grey mushroom will explode into large chunks catapulted into the air at speeds of up to 15 mph. It’s native to the factory monsters and farm AUs. The farmtale monsters made a winter sport of catapulting the mushrooms before the crash. The mushroom can be safely harvested by cutting it at the base of the stem, rendering it non-exploding.

Triangle of the coast: a magical cousin to broccoli and cauliflower, the triangle is a triangle shaped broccoli like growth that grows directly in the sand of beaches, and is farmed along a section of ebotts coastline in the winter months. The vegetable is a yellowish green color and tastes just like young broccoli. And for some reason, when picked, it secretes a pheromone that attracts crustacean sea creatures. so it’s also used as fish bait and a vegetable

Ferris-weeds: a cousin to the yarrow herb, Ferris weeds are a magical variety native to the farm and Drake AUs. It’s a tall growing herb, reaching up to 10 feet in height, and has a beautiful pale pink flower in the spring and summer. It’s mainly used to line fences as decor, but the flowers can also be eaten raw, pickled, or sautéed. What makes it magical is that it’s known to provide a full days worth of vitamin D in one meal, no matter the amount of flowers eaten. No one knows how the plant accomplished this

Pygmy pomegranates: this trees only been an official breed in the last five years. Developed by a monster from farmtale, Pygmy pomegranates are a cross breed between crab apples and standard pomegranates. They are perfectly dome shaped with a circle top and a completely flat bottom. The fruit is small, onky the size of a child’s fist, and full of orange pomegranate seeds with a purple skin. They taste just like a normal pomegranate

Deaths pearl: a small bundle of leaves, found deep in the ocean. The roots and lower halves of the leaves are pitch black, while the tips are a transparent blue. The vegetable gets its name from seafell, where a fraction of monsters fought to the death with a sea creature for a patch of the plants. This vegetable is completely edible from its roots, leaves, stems and seeds. It tastes very similar to celery mixed with cucumber. Nowadays it’s cultivated by sea monsters all along ebotts coast and is considered a staple vegetable due to being able to grow year round.

Star seeds: contrary to the name, this is not from the outer AUs but was an underground crop. The seeds of an echo flower are the plants only edible part, and are ground into a fine iron filled flour. They’re rather bitter though, so bread made from them nowadays is often paired with cheese to flavor it.

Spiderbloom: pollinated only by spiders, this plant flowers in the fall and produces fruits in the winter. It creates an eerie black and purple blossom who’s pollen only sticks to spider silk in order to pollenate. The fruits have a soft flesh and taste a bit like figs and blueberries.

Golden flowers: a favorite of the royals, and ebotts national flower and crop. Golden flowers are a beautiful gold magic buttercup that can be dried and turned into tea. They have a lovely effect of softening the hair and skin, and humans claim the tea helps with acne. It’s delicious, sweet and has small hints of lemon in the taste. The flowers are mostly indoor plants as they burn up in direct sunlight.

Mandrakes: a four point magical root that screams when unearthed, the mandrake root is extremely popular for its soft potato like flesh, and the large lineup of nutrients it holds. It’s often mashed, used as a potato substitute, or thrown into stews and soups. It’s a popular baby food as well as its mild taste is comforting for kids, and the quality of it helps parents ensure picky eaters get what they need in a meal

Frog stool mushroom: a large aquatic mushroom resembling a lily pad. It’s found in shallow freshwater areas like lakes and larger parts of streams. This large mushroom is nutty in flavor and is often planted in ponds by farmers for not only its flavor, but also to filter the water on their property to make it safe for the animals to drink. It’s recommended to only eat the small young ones as the large ones after so many years of filtering are more waste than nutrients.

Fishweed: a seaweed that grows along the seaside cliffs of ebott. It’s named after its strong fishy smell. It’s dried and cut into strips and eaten as a snack like jerky or chips

Pearwood tree: this tree has a beautiful bark pattern in the shape of sliced pears. When dry, the bark begins to chip and is easy to peel off. The bark can be infused into drinks giving a crisp grape and lettuce flavor, and has the magical effect of making harmless sparks come out of one’s mouth when they speak. Because of the attractiveness of the trees bark, and the pretty pale green fir spines as leaves, it’s also a popular garden ornament plant as well as a crop

Cinderpetals: a small magic herb with red tipped star shaped leaves. This plant as a defense mechanism will burst into flame when the leaves are picked off. Don’t be alarmed though, the fire is harmless and even adds to the flavor as many monsters say. The leaves have a crisp almost citrusy flavor and are put into potions, drinks and energy tonics due to their natural caffeine content.

Boarberry: it was only seen in horrorfarm and drakefell before the crash. It’s a wild berry bush that parasites off of trees, growing on the sides of the trunks. The berries are a creamy pale green and taste like a bitter plum. They were traditionally used to flavor meads, and were made into jams, pie fillings and baked into breads.

Honeybeans: a climbing magic bean plant that only grows near beehives. It will grow around the hive protecting the bees by secreting pheromones that deter would-be predators, and in return it feeds off the honey as well as the soil near the hive and sunlight. Because of this, the beans are deliciously sweet, tasting like caramel but with the buttery texture of a Lima bean. What makes this plant magic is that when seeds are planted, it seems to summon bees to it. Bees will abandon hives to start building around the bean, or if that’s not convenient enough, the bugs actually uproot the plant itself and Carries it to the hive in an amazing show of teamwork

Silver bells: a droopy vine with silver tipped leaves. It grows a berry like vegetable that resembles a tomato, but with a blue grey skin and a deep purple flesh. The magic fruit entices one to eat it by “calling” its harvester with a tinkling bell noise. The vegetables when hitting each other sound like the light clinking of metal. The vegetable is rather tasteless save for a faint cabbage flavor. It’s very beneficial to bone growth though and is highly recommended that young growing children and the elderly eat some every week.

Ground cherries: a strange magical fruit tree that grows its fruit beneath the soil. The very tip of the small cherry sized fruits are visible peeking through the dirt when they’re ready for harvest. They taste like blue. Some college human students say it’s the closest they’ve ever gotten to the taste of blue Gatorade in ebott

Ebott-only livestock:

Greater turkey: like the name suggests, this is just a massive variety of turkey. The birds can reach the size of cows. Naturally they’re a breed made by the farm AUs. They’re slowly becoming more popular as a holiday food for larger families. Last gyftmas broke the record of greater turkeys slaughtered and sold in one season. Thankfully for the farmers, these birds were bred for temperament as well and are quite gentle and docile

Jimmy crickets: they were previously called roasting crickets, but one witty monster renamed his after Disney started streaming in ebott, and the rest copied him as the bugs became a popular food for kids. It’s a magical variety of cricket that was cultivated underground. They eat moss, and are high in iron, copper, and folate. They’re brightly colored, most normally a bright red. They taste a bit like bacon bits.

Struggle grubs: like the name suggests, this bug was cultivated to be cheap, year round and plentiful. It’s a comfort food for many underground monsters who lived through poverty before the crash. The grubs will eat anything hence why they were labelled as “poor food” as underground they were fed mainly trash. Nowadays farmers feed them much healthier foods and the grubs are much better quality.

Riding/battle boars: funny enough, this type of domesticated hog was only found in horrorfell and drakefell before the crash. Many think that there’s a special connection between the two AUs cause this isn’t the only thing they share. In drakefell they were known as riding boars and were used to pull carts and plows, for eating and dairy, and battle of course. In horrorfarm they were only war animals, used to sniff out enemies and ram through enemy lines. The boar is intelligent like a dog, easily trained, and has an amazing sense of smell. They’re still used as farm hand animals to help plow and de-bug fields. The females can be milked and the cheese made from that milk is very heavy and fatty. They taste like pork, but because of their sacredness to the drakefell monsters and humans, it’s considered a big dishonor to eat one that didn’t die of natural causes.

Lesser deer: a small goat sized deer only found in ebott, they were originally found in the nomads forest. They’re very passive creatures and easily domesticated. Many farms are beginning to add them to livestock because of the delicious soft meat on the animals, and their varied diets.

Rolland’s horned snail: a large cow sized snail bred by the Rolland family from farmswap. The snails on average are the size of draft horses and can weigh nearly a ton. They’re bred purely for their meat and the shells are also sold as decoration, or ground as a binding agent mixed into cement. The snails are fed mainly sawdust, dried grass, and weeds. It takes nearly 20 years for one to reach full size though.

Pearled salmon: a freshwater salmon native to ebott, it can be caught wild or bought from a hatchery. The scales look like pale pink and white pearls underwater, but turn grey when dry. The salmon has a white flesh and the taste is subtler than normal salmon.

Ice pips: this is a thin needle like magic fish that loves cold temperatures so much it creates its own chill. Any room the fish is kept in stays just cold enough to freeze the top of the water in its tank, but not so cold to freeze the whole tank. It is a farmers essential for any farmers who want a proper freezer basement or shed. Almost every farm monster owns a tank of them as it’s much cheaper to feed a few fish crickets every couple days than it is to pay electric for a large shed/room. Rancher and peaches have a tank of pips in their basement, and harpy has a whole massive storage shed cooled by her own tank.

Gremlins: small quail sized ugly little creatures that resemble a cross between a toad, gopher and pug, with wrinkled faces, round bodies and bumpy hairless skin. These little creatures are extremely easy to train and are used on farms to control bug pest levels. They are also slowly gaining popularity as a household pet because of their friendly natures. What makes this animal magic is its tongue which can stretch and shoot out nearly 12 feet at a time in pursuit of a big. Which is clearly magic as the tongue is only a few inches long when resting in the body, and when (gently) pulled by an outside force, it barely gets out of the mouth. A gremlin is edible as well, tasting like chicken by most reports, but farmers who raise them dislike eating the critters as they often can’t help but start viewing them as family.

Land shrimp: it’s literally a shrimp that survives on land. They’re fast breeders and must be kept indoors to prevent an outbreak. They’re fed a mixture of grain, oats, bone, and unwanted meat cuts. The magic shrimp will resort to cannibalism if not fed on time, so require dedication to raise. And yes, they taste like normal shrimp

Smithers basilisk: a long bodied lizard that’s roughly the size of a basset hound, the Smithers basilisk’s true origins are unknown, but have been a common livestock animal for generations among the Drake monsters and humans. The large lizards have a poison sack behind the eyes that are removed after they hatch for safety purposes. They’re raised for a number of reasons: their scaled hides make great leather, the eggs are large and females can lay year round if there’s a male in the pack, and they’re great ratters. So many farmers keep a few to help control the pests on their farm.

Jeweled scarabs: both an animal raised as livestock and a popular pet, these palm sized beetles have stunning shells in a beautiful glossy array of colors looking just like crystal. They’re raised primary for the shells which are harvested when the beetles die of old age. The shells are broken and polished to be used as jewelry, decoration, tile and even used in pottery and glazes. They have a short lifespan of just 2 years sadly, hence why they don’t beat out snails as the most popular pet. The bodies of the beetles are also ground and used as feed for other animals needing protein in their diets.

Roc birds: a poultry bird native to the bird AUs, this was a fat flightless bird that is accustomed to living on rocky cliffs. It has very strong talons and legs in order to climb and move around safely. And a huge oversized beak strong enough to break rocks. The birds are about the size of a duck and have grey speckled feathers. They were bred for their eggs and meat, the hens laying several a day. But they’re difficult to raise as they’re aggressive.

Wooly snails: these snails are about the size of a standard goose when fully grown, and the shells grow a thick fur that needs to be peeled off every few weeks to keep the snail comfortable and mobile. The pelts are then throughly washed and used for clothing, pillow filler, and all other kinds of things. The snails come in a variety of colors with white being the most common, but also a powder blue and lilac. They’re raised mostky by monsters at the top of ebotts mountain range as the snails need cool temperatures to be healthy

Dwarf rock bees: ebott’s special bee variety, the only bee known to be underground. The dwarf rock bee resembles a black fluffy bumblebee, but is so small it can barely cover Abraham Lincoln’s face on a penny. The bees will only create hives in stone structures (or around a honey bean plant) and hives can host millions of bees at a time. The tiny fluff balls are stingless and extremely prone to predators as they had very few underground. When alarmed, they make a shrill buzzing noise together, and copy a frequency that they know scares animals away. For most hives, that means turning their buzzing into a car alarm. Some enthusiasts of the bee keep them indoors in smaller controlled hives and have even trained the bees to copy songs that are repeated often around them. And of course they make honey

Alrighty! There are three ways one can make magical food!

1: it’s a learned magic to add intent to food. Every monster learns it as children. It’s just one of those things your parents are supposed to teach you, like driving or how to clean.

Intent affects the foods taste and sometimes even gives it mild healing properties. So someone making a batch of cookies with a lot of love and passion can make some hecking fine cookies. However there’s a limit. Pour too much passion (or any type of intent really) and you’ll burn the food. Even if you’re not using heat to cook.

This is why undyne regularly nukes her kitchen

2: plants can become magical after several generations of being exposed to magic. That’s why the underground was able to host so many plant varieties despite the lack of sunlight. This can’t really be controlled since it happens randomly. Any food cooked with the plants has magical properties as well

3: the farmtale monsters have perfected earth magic over the centuries. Any native born farmtale monster has the ability to bond to the land they own and produce much higher quality, quantity, and magical produce. This includes animals too. They become more docile, intelligent, and produce more. The magical skill of bonding to your land is seen as familial magic and can only be passed down through blood

And finally, some famous drinks and dishes only found in ebott!!!

Gauzeberry freeze: the expensive but delicious drink consists of milk, shaved ice, honey, blueberries, coconut and of course gauzeberries. It’s sold only in special occasions like national holidays. Otherwise the only way to get it is to make it at home, which is quite difficult due to the nature of gauzeberries. It does make one float a few inches off the ground for an hour after drinking

Fries and bits: mixed bugs, most commonly crickets, are cleaned and fried with potato wedges, and in fancier dishes, onion rings and fried artichoke hearts are added. It’s a greasy but delicious meal and many fried fast food places sell this dish

Boars honor stew: a dish coming from drakefell. When a drakes boar dies, whether from old age, an injury, or sickness, never intentionally slaughtered for food, their burial ritual for the animal is to stew it in a massive pot filled with potatoes, other root vegetables, blood root, boar berries, dragons breath and a load of mushrooms. The boar is carefully cleaned, and the blood used to fertilize the drakes, or communities crops. Then the animal is put in the pot whole and stewed for around four days before being passed around and eaten. It’s a dish meant to be shared, not bought. So to be offered some is a great honor

Roc on rocks: it requires a roc bird for the traditional version of the dish, but chicken will do too for a close substitute. The breast meat of a roc bird is thinly sliced and marinated in an orange citrus sauce for a few hours. Then traditionally a flat rock is heated up, and the thin slices are cooked on top, then laid on a bed of cabbage and thinly sliced carrots before being served. However pan frying is a safe at home substitute if one doesn’t have a big rock and outdoor campfire

Golden pearwood tea cake: goldenflowers and pearwood bark are dried and made into tea. The tea must be strained and left in the fridge to chill while the cake base is created. It’s preferred to use a nut flour like almond or hazelnut. The cake flour is then moistened with the tea, and a light honey glaze is added on top when it comes out of the oven

Cinder-spark: a popular energy drink brand made in ebott from cinderpetals. It comes in three flavors: jalapeño, spicy strawberry and electric orange. All flavors are spicy with electric orange being the mildest. Never drink more than two a day

Treasure chests: a shiny beautiful salad dish of heartyheads, leafy greens, beets, sea eggs, deaths pearl, and topped with cooked pearled salmon. It’s a beautiful colorful dish and a favorite at seafood restaurants along seashore. And it’s extremely nutritious

Snaproot pockets: like the name suggests, it’s a little baked pouch filled with puréed snaproot. It’s created with either mochi flour or cattail flour, the little flour pouch is filled with mashed or puréed snap root, and is topped with seeds like sesame after being baked. This dish can also be made with pumpkin and garwins gourds instead of snaproot.

Lions jello: made from boiled cattails, and infused with goldenflower tea, this is ebotts national desert. The cattails make an attractive milk white jello with a light airy taste, and the goldenflower adds flavor and speckles of gold inside. It’s a beautiful dessert and is a favorite of many of the royals

Snail pie: ebotts national dish: this is a pie filled with cubed snail meat, pearled onions, garlic, many spices to taste, and spinach. The pie is baked like a normal pot pie and is usually topped with seeds for better looks. Mini versions are sold at festivals and food trucks, and kids in public school get mini snail pies on Fridays for lunches.

Silver broth: made from boiled silver bells and bones, this broth is a popular soup base because of its mild taste, and is highly recommended that parents use it when cooking for their children as it promotes healthy bone, teeth and ecto growth. In winter months too, it’s sold alone as a savory drink with sliced dried mushrooms and spring onions as an alternative to sugary hot drinks

Wailing baby mash: it’s a terrible name but parents seem to think it’s funny. Mandrakes are mashed with other veggies (and often a bit of silver broth is added) to make a soft baby food safe for monsters and human babies old enough for solid food. It has a mild taste which is pleasant for kids. Many parents used mashed mandrakes in place of mashed potatoes well into their kids childhood as a healthier and cheaper alternative

Goths on toast: another terrible name, Asgore really sucks at naming things, and he’s to blame for this one as the creator asked him to endorse the dish. A delicious spread is made from the fruit of a spiderbloom, blackberries and dark or ground cherries. The fruit spread is spiced with a hint of cinnamon and nutmeg and spread on bread as a sweet morning breakfast. It’s often paired with fancy cheeses and is served as a dish to show off your class. No charcuterie board in ebott is complete without this spread

Pigment potion: twigs mixed with alcohol creates a magic drink that can change the color of one’s ecto, hair/fur and eyes. The more diluted the drink, the shorter the effect. And to control what color the drink becomes, it needs to be hand made with a certain color in mind. A drink of magic, intent and booze. Any sort of alcohol does fine so usually cheap wine is used. And in festivals, watered down versions are allowed to be sold to children as long as a parent is present

Gyftmas cookies: of course they have to be baked with sweet salt. These brown cookies are made with the sweet salt spice, molasses, plain flour and honey. They’re decorated of course and are part of a popular gyftmas tradition called the cookie trade. At parties, each family shows up with a plate of cookies, and they go around having to swap one of their cookies on the plate for one from another’s family. By the end of the party, they go home with a plate from multiple families.

Crabby patties: this name was popular way before SpongeBob was introduced to ebott. There was a fierce legal battle between Marcelo and Nickelodeon for him to keep the name of the popular dish sold at his grocery stores. He just barely won, and the name is only allowed to be used with free reign in ebott lol. Crabby patties are smoked crab apple thinly sliced and pickled, then placed on a slab of either cooked snail or cooked hamburger patty. The bun is traditionally wrapped cabbage leaves, but bread buns are more popular on the surface these days. Every hamburger place has a crabby patty burger on their menu.

Fae floss: pasta from boiled flossy sticks is topped with a thick brown sauce made from goats cheese, powder shrooms, and finely chopped herbs. Other mushrooms are added to the pasta and often bugs like grubs, chopped beetles or worms are added. If bugs aren’t your cup of tea, shredded chicken is fine instead

Mead of lady magic: this mead is flavored with pomegranate seeds and honey beans to make a rich mild drink. It was also used in rituals by the temple monsters before the crash, and is still considered a holy drink by them. Only made and drank on sacred days.

Sun therapy: this light sandwich is made with pickled Ferris weed flowers, salami and mozerella cheese. The sandwich is toasted and topped with more cheese. A delicious meal full of vitamin D

Tarotile cheesecake. A plain slice of cheesecake, colored a deep forest green by adding Tarotile to the cooking process. The cake tastes like a wonderful wild berry blend according to monsters, but is highly toxic to humans and mages. Any one who dares sell it to a human without signed consent can be arrested and held for trial on attempted bodily harm.

[bitchesgetriches]

Punch Burnout Right in Its Stupid Face With Our New Burnout Workshop

In recent years your humble Bitches have been hired to give a few live, in-person speeches and workshops. We always ask the organizers to set a topic (since as you know, we can talk for hours on everything from our chickens to how everyone in the world can be categorized as either a Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard or a Dr. Richard Kimble from the 1993 classic The Fugitive). And we give our spin on whatever they suggest.

Then something interesting happened. During our closing Q&A sessions, no matter what the topic of our presentation was, the conversation with our audience would turn towards the same issue.

That issue was burnout.

Our call to action

Now, we already knew that burnout is a widespread issue. After all, we live on this planet. We’ve delved into the topic quite a bit over the years.

But seeing the pain in people’s eyes and hearing the desperation in their voices was a whole new level of fuckery. Awareness dawned on us that burnout is, for many people, a life-swallowing emergency faced without help, support, or even basic human compassion. These poor people are like sailors lost at sea. They use all of their strength to just keep floating for another moment. They’re too exhausted and depleted to swim for land, even if we told them where it was and how to get there. Our voices were reaching them far too late.

We’ve always felt it was our mission to help people. So when we saw for ourselves how many talented, bright, good-hearted people burnout was grinding into a fine powder, our new goal became clear.

Now, at long last, we’re unveiling the fruits of our labor.

The Burnout Workshop, presented by Bitches Get Riches and written by us, is complete. Unlike in the past, you don’t have to attend an in-person event to hear it. It’s available to everyone, everywhere—and you can take it right now.

The Burnout Workshop

Based on exhaustive research and hundreds of conversations with friends and readers suffering from the effects of burnout, our first-ever publicly available online course includes:

A full-ass movie-length video you can watch (and rewatch) at your own pace.

A thick and juicy 75+ page workbook crammed with exercises, personality tests, guided questions, tips, resources, and more.

Empirical research on what burnout is and why it’s so uniquely life-ruining.

Real, actionable ideas to heal yourself with no boot-licking and no bullshit.

By taking the Burnout Workshop, we want everyone to…

Practice identifying the major red flags of burnout, including the three that scare us the most.

Understand the biological processes that make stress both harmful and beneficial.

Know the physiological and psychological effects burnout causes within our bodies

Discover the 5 personality traits that make you easier to manipulate and prone to burning out.

Learn to spot the 5 environmental traits that all toxic, evil, soul-sucking shitholes have in common.

Identify your self-sabotaging behaviors and try exercises to reverse them.

Develop habits, tactics, and scripts to defend yourself from toxic environments.

Laugh politely at our obscure references, cringey gags, and gallows humor.

Learn what powers you already have, and how to wield them to get what you need.

Stop taking personal responsibility for systemic problems.

Internalize the truth that it doesn’t have to be this way.

Walk away with concrete plans for change.

Can I get a lil’ sneak up in this peek?

Hell yes. We’ve posted the introduction to the Burnout Workshop to YouTube to whet your whistle—a phrase whose mysterious and frankly disgusting origins we’ve never considered until just now. Watch it below.

How to access the Burnout Workshop

You can access the video and included workbook together through our Patreon page. You do not need to be a Patron to sign up! Click the link below to get started.

Get The Burnout Workshop Now

If you like it, please share it. We want to reach as many people as we can, and we could really use your help spreading the word!

We made the Burnout Workshop as affordable as possible. The obscene prices random influencers charge for AI-crafted horseshit is both professionally shocking and existentially terrifying to our frugal selves. Not in our workshop, friends. Like Gaston’s bare chest, every last inch of this is covered… with love. It represents hundreds of hours of our labor, including video editing from our amazing producer Ducky, who we take pride in paying a fair living wage for her efforts.

Big major super duper THANK YOU

Over the last few months while we worked on the Burnout Workshop, the blog and podcast took a backseat. (Maybe you noticed we republished a lot of stuff and haven’t even released season 5 of the podcast yet.) This project has been a ton of work for us. We did it in the hopes that this new endeavor could help us reach readers who need help desperately, and aren’t gonna get it elsewhere.

Throughout this process our Patreon supporters stood by us, funding our work and keeping the lights on around here. And they did so without complaint, despite a sharp decline in the frequency of new content. We can’t thank them enough for their trust and patience.

Which is why our Patreon supporters got the workbook for the course FOR FREE a few weeks ago! In addition, Our Moms (the highest tier of Patreon support) are getting the workbook and the course video entirely for free (we love you, Our Moms). So if you’re interested in the course, but you’d rather support our mission with a continuous donation instead of a one-time purchase, you can do all of that through our Patreon.

From the bottom of our bitchy little hearts… thank you. We’ll be back with more of our regular stuff soon enough!

Get The Burnout Workshop Now

[mossytrashcan]

Sending this as an ask but what saw trap would you assign an acotar chara? Any charecter of ur choosing i'm kind of fascinated

Okay okay okay, I’m gonna go w ones I think fit them best thematically, not with the ones that’ll be the most painful. Might be some repeats because a lot of saw traps are collaborative

Bathroom Trap: Cassian and Azriel Controversially going w them over Tamcien, but mostly because I think Adam and Az share some surface level similarities. There’s the whole voyeur aspect, but also a passivity to him. Plus their dynamic is super codependent, so the stakes of Cassian having to kill Az to escape? Very juicy

Spike Trap: Nessian A toxic couple pinned together by spikes, where the woman can only escape by killing her partner? And I didn’t choose Feysand?

Okay jk on that last part. Rhysand does some fucked up stuff, and the codependency theme really works w them, but Nessian is calling to me. Honest to god, Nesta needs it more than Feyre. At least Rhysand doesn’t play when it comes to his wifey. At least he’s only got eyes for her

Shotgun Carousel: Elain (and others) Elain’s a very passive gal who’s kind of restricted from making bold decisions, so I think that having to choose between who gets shotgunned and who gets spared would be really healthy for her. It’s what John would want

Nerve Gas House: The Inner Circle Pretty self explanatory. Put their asses in the nerve gas house. Throw older Nyx in there too, idgaf. Make Rhysand watch. Works thematically

Glass Coffin: Tamsand. Duh. Sworn sexy enemies. Tamlin is Mark cuz DAMN them thangs thanging (and also Rhys would get himself killed because he’s just that mad at Tamlin)

Flammable Jelly: Lucien. No reason I just think it’s funny to put fire man in fire trap

Public Execution Trap (love triangle from hell): Rhysand, Nesta, and Cassian Cas has GOT to decide if he’s married to Rhysand or if he’s married to Nesta. Boy stand UP

Reverse Bear Trap: Tarquin. Let him stab someone. Let him be selfish

Nerve Gas Room?: Feysand Let them fight over the air hole. Only change is that Feyre (survivor duh) wouldn’t presumably be trapped in the room forever

Eye Vacuum: Jurian MWAHAHHAHAHAHA

Bloodboarding: Nesta and Feyre Genuinely they are pass the point of therapy. They need to be put in a life or death situation where they have to collaborate in order to keep each other alive

Rapist limbs go bye-bye: Amarantha

[cadybear420]

Cadybear's Reviews- Surrender

Ohhh yeah, bitches. It's time for a JUICY review. My first review of a PooPoo Tier book. Just a heads up, this one is gonna get VERY salty.

Welcome to the thirty-fourth official Cadybear's Reviews! Today I'll be talking about Surrender, which I have ranked on the "PooPoo Tier" at 1 star out of a possible 10. My last and only playthrough of this was around February-June 2022 (for the first book) and October 2023 (for the second book).

Holy crap, this series is awful. Like, actually the worst of the whole app, in my opinion. 

It shot itself in the foot from the very start– you can’t have MC be trying to escape a toxic marriage, but have her new endgame love interest be just as bad if not worse than the ex spouse. Reagan literally talks to her as if she’s already their sub from day fucking one. And even worse, MC wants to be Reagan’s sub barely even a few chapters later, so it can almost be read as if Reagan coerced her into BDSM. 

And there was literally no reason to default MC to being a sub here. Okay, I guess it technically does set up the plot for Book 2 where Reagan is refusing to give up control, but saying it doesn’t make sense for the MC to not wanna dom at first is kinda bullshit. The writers say in their blog post about Surrender 1 that “It wouldn’t make sense for her to dom right away”, yet they’re okay with making her sub right away? Other than Reagan basically coercing her into the sub role, there’s nothing given about MC’s character that suggests she couldn’t have had interest in the dom role (or both, as a switch role) at first. 

Truth be told, I’d have much preferred if they let MC have options to try either of the roles and let the player build up her role as sub, dom, switch, sub-leaning, dom-leaning, etc. Especially since MC is supposed to be A) new to BDSM and B) freshly divorced after seeing her toxic spouse cheat on her. So let her take the time to explore and try out what she likes. That would be far more believable for the story and a far more immersive experience for the players. I get that said options wouldn’t have allowed for the arc of Reagan learning to give up some control, but surely they still could have done something creative for a more choice-based system. 

Book 2 does have us start to try a more dominant role, but it’s honestly meaningless. Because all that book does is, it doubles down on how toxic of a partner Reagan is. 

Yes, I know they do give some context for Reagan having control issues with their parents’ own abusive relationship, but as someone who has been in a fairly similar situation, it’s handled horribly. Their behaviors feel like they’re treated more as just an inconvenience or a minor hiccup, rather than genuinely toxic and abusive behaviors. 

Like, here’s all the shit Reagan does in Book 2. They go behind MC’s back to pull strings for her to get that job but then deliberately convinces her that she got it all on her own, constantly acts incredibly infantilizing to her, tries to enforce BDSM-style rules outside of the bedroom to the point where they straight up forbid her from doing a part of her own job, and– probably the worst of them all– literally tells MC “when a woman agrees to be my sub, she agrees to obey”. Honest to God, just that line right there was enough to put this series on my permanent Choices shitlist. 

And funnily enough, the series just almost got a chance to avoid it! After that awful line, MC finally gets some self-respect and dumps Reagan over their controlling behavior, and for a few chapters she has a big girls’ getaway trip with Malorie and (optionally) Reese (funnily enough the next book to be released after Surrender 2 is Getaway Girls). And let me tell you they’re the best chapters of this series and I enjoyed it to the max. It was the only part of the book I was willing to spend diamonds on. 

Now, had MC left Reagan for good– or at least had a proper talk with Reagan– then I might move this series up a view tiers. Unfortunately, it’s all downhill from there. 

Reagan refuses to take accountability for MC leaving them, and then proceeds to make Anderson track MC down on her trip when they learn she might be taking a job in Seattle. Holy fuck PB, Reagan is literally just Pat Ransic 2.0. In fact, I think they’re much worse actually. 

And what makes it all tragic is that the ending, in theory, could have worked. Reagan does apologize, they do talk things out, Reagan does become more willing to give up control, and we are allowed to choose if we want to be dom, sub, or switch. 

It seems all well and good, except for one little problem: it doesn’t feel earned in the slightest, especially not when the two become engaged at the end of the book (the one time MC is the one who proposes to LI, and it’s in the shittiest Choices book that ever smelled like shit), barely even a chapter after their conversation. Which, by the way, only happened because Reagan tracked MC down on her getaway trip to Vegas. It’s rushed as all hell, and that’s putting it lightly. 

Not only that, but even though Reagan’s behaviors are addressed (or rather, lampshaded), it’s only part of the problem. Grant and Ray’s relationship, the relationship that the writers try to parallel with Reagan and MC’s relationship and that Reagan used to justify going back to MC, was a seemingly healthy relationship where they had struggles making things work, but they weren’t toxic. 

Reagan and MC’s relationship is straight up toxic from the start– again, they acted incredibly predatory towards MC on the very day they met, and their relationship has been filled with nothing but toxicity. And MC fails to realize this, even when calling out Reagan– which is why I don’t think the story really treats the full situation with enough seriousness. The story doesn’t just shoot itself in the foot– it shoots itself in both of its legs AND its free arm, so many times that it’s too late to even amputate them because it’s already died from bleeding out so goddamn much (I know that sounds pretty extreme, but you get the idea). 

Also, to add acid to all of the many wounds, this series was the perfect opportunity to let us have a pegging scene. But outside of one scene in Book 2 where you can mention MC wanting to use a strap-on, we don’t seem to get that. Oh, but they’re perfectly fine with writing Reagan blowing on MC’s cooch despite that that’s a huge risk for an air embolism which is potentially lethal. (Granted someone did say MC can use anal beads on Reagan in the finale scene if you choose MC to be a dom; but I played that scene, after having chosen MC to be dom, and uh… there was no option). 

You know what though, this series isn’t good enough to have pegging anyways. The only pegging Reagan deserves is a pegging in the face with a fucking hammer. 

Fuck this series. What a waste of potential.

[youn9racha]

ASMR

bang chan as a nsfw asmr-ist

pairing: single chan/bf!chan x gn reader

genre: smut, headcanon

warning: asmr-ist!chan, auralism, sub!chan, mentions of bi/pan/queer!chan, mentions of daddy, mentions of mistress/master, mentions of sensory deprivation, mentions of sex really, just other insane shit really

words: 1.0k

a/n: so ik i haven't done a headcanon in a hot minute, but i decided why not bring it back??? whats the harm in that? so i've been kinda consuming these uh.... asmr, and i remembered i heard a asmr that sounded a lot like chris (think chris but with an american accent 💔) so i was like "why not make one?????" fuck it, you only live once. idgaf if this flops or not, i just want to set the record straight and post it. idk if i'll make this a series, but more than likely i will make another one for sure.

tagging @chrisbahng because they asked and i answered. so without any further ado, hope y'all enjoy it

This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

When he’s single:

Now we know how this man is vocal

Y’all remember that one time he sent that audio of him getting out of bed and saying good morning in his morning voice????

Yeah expect that being one of his storyline/pov

He has a Patreon where you can personally ask for a request, but even if you interacted with him online and asked nicely, he’ll do it

But please tip him !!!! he deserves all the money for the effort he puts in

He makes the highest quality ASMR content. As a perfectionist, he wouldn’t want to make the most lackluster of content for his audience… his precious, loving listeners

He brings the most appropriate microphone as well and he edits his audio to create a certain ambiance that he likes to make

And of course the sex toys and lube… he is adamant that he wouldn’t be successful had it not for the juicy sounds of his squelching cock making noises as if the listener’s with him

He keeps his ASMR gig a secret and often anonymous, even as far as going by pseudonym, he wants the listeners to create a fantasy in their heads

And also he’s not super confident in his looks, so he wouldn’t want to ruin it for them according to himself (when that’s a butt-load of lies and he is in fact the sexiest man alive, but neither he nor the audience knows that)

however, he does at times posts teasing pictures of his hands or maybe his fresh out the gym/shower well-built body—never his face though—but that’s neither here nor there

NOW ONTO THE CONTENT HE MAKES !!

Believe it or not, because of him often taking the dominant/leader role in real life, whether it’d be work, projects, friendships, or relationships, he opted to create a more sub!speakerxdom!listener content

He often uses his side job as a way to escape from reality, which is why he often prefers doing requests from his “mistresses” as he liked to call them

Chris doesn’t mind catering to all audiences, but he realizes he’s catered more to a female audience

But don’t get it mistaken; you will find a bunch of “daddy” or “master” content from him, he is, after all, for everyone, as he once said

He either gives out the loudest gaspy moans or the whiniest whimpers you’ll ever hear

Either way, he got some pretty ass moans

he’s very versatile with the content he posts

he likes doing scenarios where he’s vulnerable and helpless; like sensory deprivation

he also likes pup play, and his favorite labeling to his dom!listener is “master/mistress”

the sweet moans that spill out of his mouth as he teases his cocks, as if to emulate someone’s teasing him rather than his hand

“please mistress… please let puppy come for you…”

And the way his voice and breath breaks, mind breaking himself, as he comes over and over, to the point his torso and table are covered in nothing but his white substance? Insane.

sometimes he’d post the aftermath as a tease as well, but not very often

His favorite however is ramble-fapping—which essentially is him talking about his day while he jerks off

He thinks it’s very intimate and sees that he gets the most listening through those types of audios, rather than a personalized request.

When he’s in a relationship

You two have been dating for a bit, and you two knew you would be together for a while

Adoration was prevalent in your two’s relationship

So much so, chan’s uploads have slowed down from the time you two got together, but you still didn’t know about his side career

You were familiar with the field chan’s in, but you didn’t really know chan does this for fun

You did notice one time that chan’s voice did sound familiar

You thought he sounded a lot like that one asmr-ist you used to listen to, and you brought it up passively, expecting a chuckle from him at least

But instead, you got a tensed chan with a nervous laugh coming out of him

And sooner than later, you discovered that your boyfriend was indeed the ASMR guy you actually enjoyed listening to

“so that’s why your uploads has been slow…” you once commented

He then showed you his station, along with his toys and lubes, which piqued your interest

You of course supported him and knew he wouldn’t do anything that borders cheating; after all, he's getting the bag and who would say no to good money in exchange of a few moans?

You once joked that if he wanted a toy replacement, that you’d be here

But chan didn’t take it joke

Some way or another, you have now become a part of his work

From a blowjob pov, where you had to actually use your mouth and suck him off, a handjob pov, where you used your lubed up hand, down to actually using your holes for his penetration part, you became essential part for his pleasure, since now he has you to satisfy

However, you had to stay quiet, which chris really hated but he knew it was for the fantasies of others.

In spite of all that, chan had gradually stopped uploading, and instead wanted to implement his sexual fantasies into your relationship instead, which you were happily obliged

Of course, he had to make a farewell message, telling his audience about the wonderful time he had doing this

He didn’t necessarily mentioned his relationship status, but he did allude to the fact that he has someone and that he doesn’t need to use himself anymore

Now his main focus is on you and making you feel good… making his one and only mistress/master feel good.

[pinkfey]

OC TAG GAME ｡*･♡;

i was tagged by the lovely @noonfaerie to categorize some ocs + use this picrew; tysm ambie!! 💕💕

♡ FAVORITE OC.

ursula — baldur’s gate 3

my three favorite ocs always alternate between ursula, thea, and audra, but as of right now i’ve really been on an ursa kick!! probably my most universally beloved oc as well?? u guys already know everything abt her—a sailor, a tyrant, a lesson in pride, and the rest!!!!! her backstory makes my soul ache and i just love her sm celebrate pride this year by driving ur gf to her death just like ursula !! 🌈 🌈

♡ NEWEST OC.

lacie lane — infamous (if)

my gorgeous gorgeous girl!! my cocky ex gf!!!! my problematic lead singer!!!!!! u guys know the gist. what can be said abt lacie other than she’s toxic and beautiful and not as in control as she thinks. i’m really eager to see infamous develop so i can think of some juicy lacie/seven content bc as of right now i’ve been in a creative drought 😔

♡ OLDEST OC.

rowena cousland — dragon age: origins

so rowena is technically my second oldest oc (the honor of first belongs to silla 💕) but i’m listing her instead of silla because her story and personality has been consistent for the past ten years whereas silla has evolved!! rowena is proud, stubborn, and clever as the devil—and each of these traits have been both flaw and merit. her relationship with alistair is complex and tragic but mended with a bit of time.

♡ MEANEST OC.

kinasi irress — star wars

honestly ursula and jael were both strong competitors for most cruel oc, but kina takes the cake because, unlike the other two who cultivated strong affinities/bonds in their youth, kinasi has never known kindness. for over thirty years she lived in an environment of fear, hatred, and isolation. all she knew was the vie for power and all she knew was punishment if she failed the social climb. in a world of every-man-for-himself and please-your-master-or-fall-from-grace, community-centric skills such as teamwork, generosity, and emotional support were nonexistent, and so she never developed them. to be “mean,” which is putting it lightly, was just their nature. dog eat dog. need against need.

♡ SOFTEST OC.

ellery lux — pillars of eternity

the sweetest weirdo who ever lived!! ellery is a druid who, after being separated from her parents, raised herself in the forest with no one but the creatures and sun-dappled greenery for company. everything she learned, she learned from the woods—tenderness a kind of virtue no human could have taught her. she’s decisive and gentle and accepting and doesn’t care for social conventions in the slightest AND!!! i love her so much 🌿🦌🤍

♡ MOST ALOOF/STANDOFFISH OC.

salylia dreneri — the elder scrolls: morrowind

she doesn’t mean to be this way, but she’s a stranger in a strange land and her former partner just framed her and there’s some freak talking to her in her head and she can’t help but put herself at a distance from everyone !! though she was always the cool, quiet one—tennebrae did most of the talking.

♡ DUMBEST (AFFECTIONATE) OC.

bright — dungeons & dragons

her true name eaki, bright was given to a halfling village deep in the bramblewood when she was just an infant. an odd combination, tiefling and halflings, but they understood social scorn and ostracization and accepted her completely. when her adoptive sibling fell mysteriously ill, bright, at the behest of the village herbalist, sought out an ancient forest entity, and struck a deal—the life of her sibling (and many boons) in exchange for a favor when the time comes. all this being said, she is not the wisest warlock around. bright is bright for her charm and silliness, not her brains.

♡ SMARTEST OC.

jael khatri — pathfinder: wrath of the righteous

this was another tough one between jael and cath, but jael won because she’s, in the most reductive of terms, a sexy evil experimentalist!! everyone already knows everything abt jael and how her cruelty is clinical and her wit is sharp as a knife from when i first played pwotr last year but i’ll never stop being obsessed with her!!!

♡ OC YOU’D BE BEST FRIENDS WITH IRL.

corintha trevelyan — dragon age: inquisition

this isn’t because i think i’d get along with her best (i think that would be emika or honey??) but because i love a DELUSIONAL girlie. i’d kill to pick her brain fhdjfnfnfbd

tagging!! @malefiicarum @rosebarsoap @lvllns @devilbrakers @bunfey @saintjudegf @ladysanjo @statichvm @aartyom @celticwoman @shadowglens @druidgroves @mrs-theirin @necroticpetals @minaharkers @dantesparda @umbertors @nuclearstorms @liurnia @jillvalcntines @risingsh0t @brujah @solasan and you!!!!!!

[nellasbookplanet]

A lot of takes I see on the relationship between Imogen and Laudna seems to vacillate between one of two extremes: either they are perfect and sweet and supporting and soft, or they’re horribly codependent and unhealthy and likely to break the world for each other etc etc.

(Note that for neither of these takes does it matter whether the relationship is romantic or platonic. Much of the time they are read and written about as romantic because they’re The Big Ship this campaign, but in context of this particular meta the possible romantic-ness is irrelevant. Whether romantic or platonic, their relationship is equally as intense, and has the same possibility to be healthy/unhealthy.)

Now, onto what I actually wanted to talk about.

I don’t personally think of Laudna and Imogen's dynamic as unhealthy. I do, however, think of it as very much having the potential to become so. I have mentioned before that their relationship fundamentally doesn’t allow for challenge. They’re somewhat codependent and relied only on each other as social outcasts in a hostile world for a long time, and as such their dynamic is one of validation and trust and protection and uplifting each other. This isn't necessarily unhealthy. When they were alone, they both needed that unconditional support and love to stay alive and sane. At the time, they didn’t need challenge and character growth, they needed to be shown there was someone who could empathize with their weirdness with love and without judgment. Even now, with the hells, they don't really need challenge from each other. They have other people, other relationships, to provide that.

But I have also mentioned before that their support has the potential to veer into enabling. Laudna tells Imogen it’s her choice what to do in the solstice battle, and that Laudna will stand by her no matter what. It’s unflinching trust. It’s a validation Imogen desperately needs and longs for. And as long as they are correct in their trust, as long as neither of them makes a choice the other fundamentally can’t allow for, things will remain good. The gnarl rock conflict got close (actually it’s interesting how, the moment their trust was broken, both of them fell apart immediately), but was ultimately caused by an outside force (Delilah), not their own choices, and thus allowed their relationship and trust to heal fairly quickly.

I don't necessarily think they will veer into anything unhealthy. They both have a pretty good understanding of each other, and their trust is well-placed, for the most part. But I enjoy the ambiguity of it. The potential of darkness, were the narrative or their own choices to really come between them, to push them until their breaking points.

Tl;dr: I don't think Imogen and Laudna's relationship is unhealthy as much as deeply trusting, and as long as that trust remains well-placed nothing bad is likely to happen between them. But the potential of that trust going toxic is there, and it’s very juicy.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

You know after thinking about it I think my main problem with Izzy stans once you get past the obvious one, which is the way that they are racist to Ed, (Clearly my main problem but not the problem I’m here to talk about) is that they don’t even like Izzy. They like Ed, and they like Black Pete, and they like Calico Jack, but they can’t admit that they like those characters for some reason? (you know why they can’t admit that they like Ed and Black Pete)

Like the ways Ed’s back story gets cannibalized for Izzy in a lot of fics and the way people will swap Izzy and Ed’s personalities is well trod territory. Ed is treated as enjoying violence and having a toxic masculinity problem and Izzy is treated like someone who’s trying desperately to make his working relationship with Ed beneficial when in the show those rolls are switched. You’ve heard this meta before. I just made a whole post about the way that Jack’s roll in Ed’s backstory (i.e. like 90% of the reason he exists as a character) gets ignored in favor of giving that roll to Izzy. And don’t even get me started on Black Pete. Both Izzy and Black Pete struggle with toxic masculinity, are obsessed with Blackbeard, and desperately wants to be in a leadership roll and aren’t very good at it. But so far at least Black Pete is the one undergoing the redemption arc and getting better, and Izzy is the one getting worse. I see people wanting a relationship with Lucius to redeem him and I’m like girl you have that. That’s Black Pete. Like Black Pete chose to get better and he’s still working on it but when he realized that Blackbeard wasn’t who he thought he was he minded his business and he went from complaining about sewing being womens work and worrying about what Blackbeard’s crew would do in episode one to learning through his relationship with Lucius to be sweet and vulnerable. And while Izzy in canon is attracted to Lucius i guarantee you that Lucius will not be playing that roll in his narrative, because it’s the roll he plays for Black Pete. That’s not to say that Lucius fixed him, but they will give Lupete’s dynamic to Izzy for no fucking reason.

So I’m gonna do something I don’t usually do and that’s defend Izzy here. If you’re gonna like Izzy there are tons of things about him that you can like. His psychosexual obsession with Blackbeard and his and Ed’s weird codependency is juicy enough to drive the plot at times. He’s a little freak to the point where he got his toe cut off and he liked it. He’s stubborn. He’s driven. He’s manipulative. He’s plotting and conniving. He sees other people as caricatures of themselves and DOES NOT react well at all to people falling outside of the box he’s made for them. He’s angry all the time. He can’t identify love. He’s jealous of Stede in the way that a child is jealous of their friends’ friends. All of these are wonderful traits in a blorbo (and terrible traits in a person, but a blorbo is not a real boy) They make him interesting and they give him layers. It’s very fun to theorize what happened to him to make him this way. There are many reasons to like Izzy Hands. But it’s kind of annoying when other characters’ cool stuff is ascribed to Izzy and those characters are ignored and maligned in favor of Izzy, especially when those characters are the brown romantic lead and the bald kinda frumpy guy with a lisp, who in 99% of media doesn’t get to be seen as hot but in this media gets to be desired. And it makes me feel bad for your Izzy that you cant like him for him.

[rebornologist]

Hello babe! I love you so so much and your fungus + fish pictures ;)) Can't wait to see you again and go crazy for girlie night kekekeke 🤪 Anyway time to indulge in my toxic trait 👁👄👁 Can I have an imagine for 🔧 where he has a fight with their s.o. over him always working and never making time/canceling last minute on date nights 😭but you know instead of the typically they both say some hurtful shit and cool off and apologize and makeup, I WANT IT DRAMATIC, MY TOXIC TRAIT! I WANT S.O. TO LEAVE WITHOUT A WORD LIKE 🔧 SAYS SOME SHIT LIKE I ENJOY WORKING THAN GOING ON THESE STUPID DATES AND LEAVES TO HIS WORKSHOP AND S.O. IS JUST SHOCKED PACK THEIR BAGS AND LEAVES NO NOTE NO NOTHING. eh you can decide to end it however you want whether he finds s.o. and makeup or he ain't see them ever again 🤡 love you bby gurl my best stem major girlie 💓 💗 💖 💕 😘

hiii baefie ♡♡ I didn't adhere completely to the prompt and ngl I just lost steam at the few hundred words pt, but I hope this is some juicy drama for you :') xx

♡ SPANNER/READER silly date night drama˚₊⁺˳✧ warnings: ngl reader just stonewalls him, I don't condone this behaviour count: 1035 words

༚✧⁺˳₊˚‿︵‿︵‿୨୧ · ˳ · ♡ · ˳ · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿˚₊˳⁺✧༚

It wouldn’t happen again.

You told yourself that you wouldn’t let it happen again, and he promised you the same.

So you sit there, scrolling on your phone, checking your texts with him, wondering why it seemed to be happening again.

‘bb?’ you shoot him a message, chewing on your bottom lip as you try to suppress your dreadful thoughts. He doesn’t even read the message for a while, and you spend a few minutes fixing up your jewelry and makeup before nervously checking the phone again. Nothing.

You decide to call him.

He doesn’t pick up, and that’s when you feel that familiar frustration light up inside of you, like a match was struck.

Your phone pings with a new text.

‘srry working.’

You scoff when you read it, and call again.

“Hey, babe—” he mumbles, speaking with the same lazy tone and muffled by the lollipop in his mouth. He’s working.

“Hi, how much longer are you working for?” You nearly spit out, trying and failing to put a cap on your mounting annoyance.

He doesn’t reply for a moment, and you just hear rustling as he puts his phone on speaker and sets it down to return to the task at hand. You raise an eyebrow, and he finally clears his throat.

“I’ll be in the shop overnight, one of the—”

“So no date night??” At this point, you’re unable to mask the disappointment in your voice.

More rustling and shuffling sounds, the quiet clang of metal against metal. “Huh..? Oh, tonight? I can’t.”

Your response was delayed as well, but for other reasons. You look at the little gift that you had so thoughtfully put together for him. You weren’t sure how it happened, but next thing you know, there were warm tears streaming down your face, as your mind swirled with thoughts of him having the audacity to sound like he was brushing you aside yet again. And you were probably screaming, but your ears felt clogged and he sounded even more muffled over the phone.

“You never can! Maybe you might as well build a robot partner for yourself, because you clearly cannot respect the needs of a human one!”

“[Y/n], when did I ever.. say anything about dis..respecting you?” he groans, biting down on the stick between his teeth.

“You don’t respect my time, Spanner! Over and over again, you keep canceling on me, completely abandoning our plans, leaving me waiting. I don’t want all of our time spent together to be in your musty workshop. We’ve been wanting to go out for so long!”

That seemed to strike a nerve with him. He whips his head over to face his phone this time, quickly pulling the lollipop out and clearing his throat.

“Maybe I enjoy spending my time in my fucking workshop?!”

He’s met with silence. You swallow your sobs quietly, and end the call.

He goes back to work, but not before quickly sending you a text: ‘will talk to yuo tmrw’.

He does not get to talk to you tomorrow. You decide it yourself. You pack your essentials, realizing that you don’t even want to be here when he comes back to your shared living space. You pull up to Colonello and Lal’s place, spending the weekend in their guest room and talking through some of your feelings with them over take out and a bottle of wine.

When Spanner returns the next day to find all of your key belongings missing, he completely just bluescreens and his brain is scrambled. He sends a string of confused texts, calls a few times, gets left on delivered and sent to voicemail, and finally he reaches out to ask Irie what the fuck happened. He panics for a solid day, checking his phone every few hours, turning over pillows for any hidden notes, biting every lollipop stick down to just pulpy paper sludge before spitting it out bitterly.

What makes it worse is that he finds the wrapped gift on the dining table, the one thing that slipped your mind when you left. You also left your key behind; it may have also just slipped your mind, but it signaled to him that you did not intend to return.

Now, depending on whether and how you decide to get him back in the loop of what you were thinking, feeling, and doing, the situation could resolve itself fairly amicably or very unfortunately.

If you contact him later on, explaining yourself and actually discussing why you felt the need to up and leave, he would.. do his best to understand, and express that he would rather you not do that again and leave him in the dark like that, but the experience might actually light a fire under his ass to commit to the time he promises to spend with you. Unfortunately, I think that also means that he makes less date plans with you just so he can be realistic about fulfilling them, especially when it’s crunch time for him. You get your fill of quality time by spending it with him in his musty (it's really clean, actually) workshop in addition to the very sweet dates he takes you on every once in a long while.

If you just go on ghosting him, it would take him a good week to come to the conclusion that you.. don’t want to see him ever again. He opened the gift box in case there was a note from you in it, and there was. It was a really sweet little message encouraging him to cut himself some slack and take some time off for rest between working on his machines, and that you’re here for him when he needs to turn his brain off and just bask in your affection… clearly, you’re not always here for him. That note and the little gift you had included makes his head hurt every time he looks at it, so he sets it aside in a corner of his shop with the intention of leaving it untouched until you come back to him. He’s sooo avoidant rip. SpannerY/n, y’all had a good run.

fin.✧

[ordonianhero]

It’s complicated

Warning: game and manga spoilers

CW: Mention of abuse and r*pe/S.A. (avoid if you can’t read said content for your own safety)

Disclaimer: not writing this to invalid people’s ships. Just wanting to make something clear about how toxic it is to normalize abuse. (Despite how in character it maybe that they did said action/behavior)

So I am writing this because I felt something needed to be clear up. In the game of Twilight Princess, Midna shatters the mirror of twilight because for the simple reason of knowing if left open, that everything they did to save both kingdoms would be at risk of yet another attack. This was also shown in the manga. Though the manga creators were given more creative way of telling the story, it is not canon to Nintendo. Nintendo allows it but have made it very clear the mangas have never been canon. Not saying people who are midlink shippers are wrong. Thats the thing about fandoms, you can ship however you like and that is 100% valid for you. Not everyone will ship the same way. Thats okay too. So now that’s out of the way, i would like to discuss something I felt was disturbing.

So in the game midna is very sassy, it just her trying to cover up her feeling of being able to do anything in her current state once Zant turned her into the imp form. So she seemed help, but wasn’t exactly nice about it. Link (twilight) happened to be her tool to getting what she wanted. Taking back her kingdom and giving little care (at first) to what happened to his world. She had an agenda. His agenda was basically to save his home and the people who are in it. The Ordon kids, ilia and the village. He later on found out though the light spirits that his task was much more then just his little village. That he was fated to save all of hyrule. He also even through her sassy ways, could see Midna behavior was of someone who was scared for her people, her kingdom. Though she only saw Link (Twilight) was a means to and end. Her attitude changed after he (despite how she treated him) when he went out of his way to get her help as she was dying. Along with seeing how much both Link and Zelda were willing to sacrifice to help her save her kingdom as well.

The manga story was a tad different and it doesn’t entirely follow the game because the creators were given creative leeway by Nintendo to tell their own version of the game. Yes Nintendo had to approve the manga before it got published. However, Nintendo has been clear that the mangas are just a work of fan content and by no means canon. Other then the one in the Hyrule historia. I actually wasn’t too fond of the creators take on Link’s back story, but that’s just me. Still amazing piece either way. So what is troubling me is the normalization of the way Midna was towards Link (twilight) and assuming that its a healthy relationship (or friendship. However way you saw it) to be physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive towards him. She hits him, calls him names….I mean that’s not okay.

“Oh well she just teasing and being sassy.”

Yeah okay in the game that’s true, the manga really went a lot father then just sass some times. There were other characters in the manga where it sort of implied things far more beyond just abuse, beside link and midna stuff. Manga was far more darker then the game.

At the end of the final manga we come to the part where Midna is about to shatter the mirror and telling Link that no, he can’t go with her. (Manga implied they have feelings for each other) some may assume if they havent played the game she is shattering the mirror for no reason. She is. It cause light and dark can’t mix. That is clear. Thus she is shattering the mirror to once again protect both their worlds from having happened, to happen again.

So now you maybe wondering where I have issue with the manga and Midlink area. Many have gone to say the content in the manga is “Juicy” when Link (twilight) couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just leave with her. Her reasoning was because he belong in the light world. To continue to serve hyrule (completely different from what actually happened in the game). Midna called him “disobedient and rude….” As she has said and told him several time through the manga series. Ever since they met that is how she saw him. “Disobedient” and “Rude”. Then she full on smacked him. A very in character thing for her to do. Yes. Then tells him, “No link, go back”

He replies, “I don’t want to.”

Which then resulted in her kissing him, pushing him away and saying with a smirk, “there’s… your reward.” Followed by “I’m not trying to silence you. That was a GIFT…from the real me.” Followed by her breaking the mirror. Which few speculate once again that this was to stop link from chasing after her. If the mirror was intact. Sure that maybe how it was seen I guess, but knowing all that hyrule went through, midna knew they couldn’t be together and to protect his and her world, it had to be shattered.

So for many people, seeing the kiss is a way to make up for smacking him. People saw this as Romance was confirmed, which no doubt it seems so. However this giving readers the thought that some how the way she treated him during the whole series was completely normal and shows a “Healthy relationship” between two people.

Sorry to break it to folks, but that is in no way “Healthy”. Matter of fact her way of treating him, even if he was was being disobedient and rude, by no means did she need to do half the stuff she did to him. Yes he is stubborn, yes the he sort of got an ego after he got the master sword. But by no means is smacking a person okay or doing half the dang stuff she did. I can’t stand for that kind of message that its normal to hurt each other in a pretty abusive way. Even if it wasn’t abusive…nobody (friend, family, partner) should ever treat another person the way Link was treated in the manga. That is where I have issue is the view that this is normal and okay. Healthy. NO! If you are a midlink shipper and you are making the conclusion based on the Manga that smacking or hurting anyone demonstrates a “healthy relationship” I worry.

So what’s going on in LU, well the Comic creator has made it very clear we wont be seeing midna, that Link’s feelings right now are just complicated and that his heart sort of torn right now, though he is close with Ilia. (Relationship or friendship) she is basing her take on Midna and Link friendship, relationship, its complicated based off the game and not off of the Manga. Not sure of what her take is of the manga it self. But this what she said a long while back:

So in conclusion, i wasn’t midlink shippers to enjoy their ship, but avoid justifying abusive actions as “Healthy”. Though this is about a bunch of fictional characters. There are folks out there who have or do experience this and chalk it up to they deserve this kind of treatment. Which is not true. Everyone deserves to be in a relationship where one should never be physically, verbally, or emotional treated in such a manner.

Now if you saw things differently and I am open to hear you out. Comment below and explain how you saw the interaction between LInk and Midna.

But I wanted to share my upset at the thought people found the ending showing a healthy relationship by abusive behavior.

That is all. I again don’t want other to take this as me being anti midlink or discouraging people who ship midlink. I was just troubled.

Thank you for hearing me out.

[justoneday-namjoonii]

It burns, doesn’t it? [Pt. 21]

genre/au: mafia!au, mature, fluff, angst, love triangle

warnings: contains graphic imagery, panic attacks, mental health issues, mature subject matter, manipulation, toxic/inappropriate friendships and relationships, mentions of death, mentions of drugs, brief smoking, lots of language and some suggestive language, mentioned crude/unnerving behavior, intensity, very slight hoe phase if you squint, character death. If you’re easily triggered, please proceed with caution or do not proceed♥️

pairing: jungkook x reader ; yoongi x reader

authors note: happy belated b-day to Jungkook~ sorry his life sucks in this story🫶. please see m.list for previous parts. thank you all who have followed this story and all who plan to! comments, likes and relogs are appreciated! you have my sincerest gratitude angels💗👼 Sit back, relax, and enjoy^^ it’s a looong but juicy read

word count: 60k+

summary: The mafia tore your life apart, if it wasn’t for your will to live, it would have taken you out a long time ago. After everything, the heartbreak, betrayal and lies, you’ve emerged with a purpose—you’re apart of a family now. They won’t let you lay down and die—no matter how much you want to.

“Call- what was her name, Miranda?” Verona furrows her brows, not bothering to jog her memory for the correct name.

“Melinda, her name is Melinda.” She’s corrected by her brother.

“Someone should call her,”

“Why can’t it be you?”

“She cursed me out last time we talked,” She holds her toddler, trying to give him the cereal snack.

“That was almost 20 years ago, if we can’t reach her brother anymore than we should try to reach her,”

“We should forget it,” She mumbles, “we haven’t contacted them all this time, why do we have to now?”

“Legally, we have to try,”

“Grandmother always liked to make things overly complicated just to fit that illegitimate child into this family.”

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Agent Ban spent the morning trying to put a face and name to the missing female. How is it possible for a single person so disappear and not even the FBI has investigated her whereabouts? It’s all so strange and confusing. What makes it even more interesting is that for some reason, she seems to be loosely connected to the single largest case in the city.

“Lisa, there’s a missed call for you,” One of the administrative staffs, “came in this morning.”

“Thanks,” She takes the phone and dials the number.

“This is agent Lisa Ban, I’m returning your call,”

“This is officer Go from the police department 9. I know you’re pursuing a missing persons case, I have one that might interest you.”

“I’m listening.”

“It’s fairly old and it was made anonymously almost a year ago, but the woman’s name is Kim Y/n. For some reason her case was snuffed. She went missing one night after work, the person who reported this suspects that she was kidnapped. I have pictures and other information on her that I will send your way.”

“Thank you so much, this might be just what I needed to close this case.”

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Jungkook must be dead or dying. Namjoon could be too, you accepted that possibility. After the shock began leave your body, your tears cleared and you stared off into nowhere. Hours must have gone by because the sun isn’t shining anymore.

You were numb, you couldn’t feel the heat surrounding your body. You were so numb that you could not hear Yoongi screaming at you to get out of the car, the burning car. When the smokey glaze leaves your vision, you see the hood of the car is up in flames and the driver is deeply impaled by a pole through the windshield.

“The bastard tried to kill us, and himself,” Blood drips from his black hair and down his forehead and you finally gather what’s happened. You look around, tall trees surround you and you’re being led to run away from the dirt road.

“I’m scared,” You whisper, knowing he can’t hear you and even if he can, he doesn’t have to time have that type of conversation. He is too worried about getting away from the car that just exploded, putting your thoughts to an abrupt stop.

You cry out, falling to your knees, hands pressing to your ears as you tremble on the forest floor. You can’t feel your legs, your heart is drumming, your body says to give up. Yoongi grabs your trembling body and lifts you to stand back up, chilling you to your core. “I- I’m scared, Yoongi, just leave me here!-” You mutter with quivering lips, you know you look pathetic.

“You’re alive,” Yoongi firmly takes your hand and presses it to your chest, making you feel your own pounding heart, “if you feel that, you have to keep going,” despite your shaken up state, you’re following beside him.

The smell of gasoline and burning chemicals makes you sick. Things are going so fast, Yoongi moves so fast. How can he keep going? He doesn’t know if Namjoon made it, it looked like Jungkook didn’t make it—he’s not even attempting to ponder those thoughts. Somehow, he stumbles upon an abandoned shipping container. Cautiously, he steps inside the metal shelter and beckons you to follow. The spider webs and the debris from trees has made its way inside and you stay where you are.

“Come on, we’ll wait in here,”

You step inside with heaving breath, face a bit sweaty and head swimming.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” He looks you over, “we may have to stay put for a few hours.”

You look around you, unable to say anything, even if you wanted to speak you wouldn’t know what to say.

“Jimin is supposed to be with us,” He sighs, leaning against the wall of the metal container, “I’ll tell him to come to us,”

“We have to sleep here?…” You look at what you think is an old birds nest, the ground is hard and dirty with mud—not to mention it’s dark.

“Yeah, doesn’t make sense to look for a hotel, we can’t risk leaving a trail in another town,” He does something on his phone and you brush some leaves aside to have a seat.

Jimin was off with another group but abandoned them immediately to look for Yoongi. He brought the list of items Yoongi requested and l found you two within a few hours.

“Here, sorry it took a while,” He hands Yoongi the bag and his eyes land on you sitting idly in the corner, “I didn’t know she was with you.” He mutters, disappointed.

“Use this to clean up,” Yoongi hands you a pack of wipes and a bottle of antibacterial, “I’ll be back,”

You want to ask where he’s going and why he’s not bothering to clean the blood from his own face. He is more at risk than you are, he already has a serious wound, you only have a few scratches.

Jimin won’t look at you and you can think of a few reasons why. You could care less, you just want to smell a little better than the damp woods and a burning car. With shaky hands, you open up the wipes and begin to clean your face. You take your sweater off and diligently wipe the rest of your body. Jimin sits on the edge of the entrance, not even tempted to look back.

“Where’d you go?” Jimin looks up, inspecting the bottle in Yoongi’s hand and now clean face.

“Water,” He hands Jimin a bottle and holds the other two. Red-faced, you hastily slip your sweater back on right before he can lay his eyes on you. Or maybe he looked away purposefully and only looked when he saw you were dressed.

“Thank you,” You take the bottle and try not to chug it.

“Try to get some sleep,” Yoongi looks at you and Jimin, “Jimin, we’ll take turns watching guard, I’ll take the first leg,”

“You’re sure?” Jimin furrows his brows, “I can take the first few hours,”

You stand up, brushing the leaves off your butt, wanting to offer some assistance. “I can too…”

“No, get some rest,” Yoongi stands near the edge of the entrance with his hands firmly in his pocket, “that’s an order.”

Jimin nods, taking the blanket and laying it out on the floor meticulously. It’s a small blanket and he only brought one, and it’s very drafty. Certainly the three of you weren’t supposed to share it, you thought. You get on the blanket and sit with your knees to your chest.

“You should lay down,” Jimin lays on his back beside you, you won’t look at him, “what? You don’t want to share it?”

You slowly ease down and lay on your side, facing away from him. He’s not used to the silent treatment, yet, he feels he deserves it.

At least 20 minutes went by and neither of you had gone to sleep, to your dismay.

“You didn’t wanna go with Jungkook? Why’re you with Yoongi,” He whispers, curious onto how you ended up with the cold mafia lord and not your obsessed lover, or whatever it was. “I know you’re awake…”

“We’re not together anymore,” You swallow, “that’s why I didn’t want to go with him…”

He lets out a small gasp and you turn to look at him—Why must he looked so relieved? Deliighted even. “You’re free then…”

“If that’s what you want to call it, yeah…” You turn back around, curling into the fetal position to warm yourself.

“It’s cold,” He states the obvious, “you’re shaking, do you want me to—?”

“No,” You insist, “I’m fine, goodnight…”

He doesn’t press any further. Keeping a safe distance, he settles for discarding his jacket and placing it over you.

That night, it poured.

It rained so loudly, it sounded like rocks were being thrown from every direction. By that time, you and Jimin had fallen asleep so Yoongi joined you all on the blanket. He’s not the close proximity type but he also doesn’t care for sleeping on dirt and leaves. He let out a heavy sigh, back against the hard metal behind him.

It seems that every brick lifted to rebuild what they once had crumbled in his hands. They are all together but the unity has only made prominent the differences they have. Namjoon and Yoongi are a different story—they’re a pair. If it were just them, things would run smoothly. Hell, if it were just them and Hoseok, the three of them wouldn’t have any issues. Hoseok was their rock, between Yoongi and Namjoon, they could always depend on him, more than anyone else. The three of them even discussed running off and starting their own thing when they were young, they were so close. Closer than just brothers, they made each other feel safe, secure.

They happen to have soulmates with a lot of baggage. Jin came with the curses passed down from his father. He’s deceitful, selfish, only in it for himself—on the outside. Inside, he’s insecure that one day, the day he decides to depend on anyone but himself, he’ll be let down, forgotten and abandoned.

Yoongi glances over at Jimin’s peaceful expression as he sleeps—he still looks like that same teenage boy. His face is just barely pressed up against the back of your neck in an attempt to gain your warmth. The same boy who let anyone who said they cared about him use him and who used people to fill his many voids. His traumas are unspoken but so very evident even in the way he lives. They’ve always pitied him, it’s something they don’t admit.

And Taehyung, he’s bonded to everyone. Rose was the reason for that, everyone loved her so naturally they loved her little brother. Namjoon loved her as a woman, he loved Taehyung like a little brother. He promised her he’d take care of him before she died, it was a promise he made to himself. Taehyung had terrible parents, a crappy childhood, but a Godsend of a sister. If it weren’t for her pure soul and kind words, he wouldn’t know when to stop, he’d ravage anyone in sight—including himself. One can’t mention Rose without Geongmin, the two were inseparable, they might as well have been sisters.

And then there’s Jungkook. That night, it seemed like the whole world stopped when Namjoon met him. He was smart, strong, exceptional at almost everything he did, he seemed unreal. He made Namjoon proud. You’d think the boy was conceived by Namjoon’s efforts alone. Something about abandoned kids does something for him, he wants to take them in and change their lives—like a savior.

Now there’s you.

A bolt of lightning strikes, causing a loud crack of thunder to jolt you out of your sleep. You let out a startled squeal and you hold on to who’s beside you instinctively. Usually, that someone is Jungkook but even in your exhaustion, you know this is not him. You blink, eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness and to the person under our palm.

“I’m s- sorry,” You remove your hands from his side and scoot further from Jimin who you pushed up against you in his sleep.

“There’s a storm passing by,” He looks over at you, “we’re safe in here,”

“About earlier,” You push your hair out of your face and lay flat on your back, “I don’t really remember what happened,”

“We crashed, the driver did it on purpose I think ,” Stress is light in his tone, “I don’t know much more than that.”

“Are you okay?…” You ask so softly.

“Yeah,” He answers quickly, too quickly for it to be true.

You accept his answer, despite knowing the truth. it doesn’t take long for you to drift back to sleep.

Just as soon as you are overtaken by your sleepiness, Jimin wakes up to the pounding rain. “Ready to switch?”

“No need, no one’s coming out here in this storm, go back to sleep,” Yoongi answers, eyes shutting again.

“She’s cold,” Jimin states suddenly, you’re curled up with his jacket almost covering your face, “shit, I’m cold…”

“You’ve toughed through worse than this,” Yoongi’s eyes slip open, half-lidded but more than curious to see what Jimin is trying to get at.

“Did you know that they broke up?” Jimin sits up, voice low and mindful not to wake you.

“Hm,” Yoongi gives up on trying to get some shuteye, “I really don’t care…”

“That’s something I’ll have to get used to, not sneaking around to avoid getting my ass handed to me,” Jimin giggles, “a part of me will miss it though.”

“Getting your ass handed to you?”

“No, sneaking around just to spend a few minutes with her,” Jimin confesses with a giggle, “I guess I liked the chase…”

“That’s pretty sick,”

“Is it?” Jimin’s brows furrow and his puffy lips downturn a bit. His boss doesn’t need to tell him that, he knows he’s got a bad habit. Yoongi’s eyes shut, leaving Jimin to ponder over what he just confessed.

The night went by in the blink of an eye.

Jimin woke you up and Yoongi was already ready to leave when your eyes opened to the beaming sunrise.

“Where’s the car?” Yoongi stretches his arms and lets it a deep exhale.

“A theater parking lot, it’s about a mile from here,” Jimin watches as you reject his offer to help you off the floor, “shouldn’t take us long to get there—I meant to ask, where are we going? I was going with a team to a common area before meeting up with you,”

“My family’s old estate,” He pauses to restate that, “well, it’s mine now,”

“You actually kept that place? We all thought you sold it,” Jimin can recall the very few visits he made to that place. It was huge and extravagant, a bodacious display of wealth, far from Yoongi’s personal taste.

He lived at the estate on and off during his youth. After he turned 10, his father took him and his mother into hiding in a shabby old house.

“I figured I’d need a handful of undisclosed locations to go to one day,” He scoffs, “I was right.”

That morning, after 8 dditional hours of driving, you began to approach a thick patch of the forest. A 10-foot Roth iron gate blocked a white cobblestone entrance. Large hedges seemed to block any view other than the building that appeared to be his home. Yoongi gets out of the car and walks over to a little padlock hidden within a brick—this is the most mafia-style place you’ve ever seen.

That day you learned a lot about Yoongi.

Just from observing the lavish home, the mile long pool in the backyard, the well groomed landscaping—this is the life his father lived and it paid. Dodging bullets, manufacturing and selling drugs to anyone willing to buy. You’re positive he has loads of real estate elsewhere. The home was equipped with a full staff, men and women who were much older than the three of you. The ceilings seem to reach the sky, the floors and stairs are marble, the bright chandeliers made you dizzy.

An older woman greets you all in the foyer, she touches Yoongi’s face affectionately, as if she was reassuring that he was in the flesh.

“Yoongi,” She smiles and pulls him into a warm embrace, “I can’t believe it’s you,” She looks nothing like him but she holds him like he’s her child

“I know,” His eyes slip shut in her gentle touch and you can’t help but stare in awe as he melts a bit, “you remember Jimin,”

“Yes, of course,” Her eyes pass from him over to you.

“This is Y/n, she’s,” He pauses to look back at you, “with us,”

“Nice to meet you Y/N, I’m Ayeong,” Her smile grows brighter, “you all must be exhausted, I’ll take you to the guest room and have supper ready within the hour,”

Yoongi disappears and the kind woman leads you to the bedrooms.

“Here you are,” She points to a lovely room, one lovely room. “I’m sorry, I should have asked, did you want to share a room?”

“No ma’am,” you speak for the first time, “separate rooms, please,”

“Yeah,” Jimin clears his throat, “she can have this one.”

“Alright, there are a change of clothes for you there, I’ll be back when dinner is ready,”

“Thank you,” You give her a small bow and you enter the suite right after, “huh…”

You fall right onto the bed and the fresh smell of linen engulfs your nose, it’s so nostalgic. Aunt Melinda used to have your sheets washed and your bed remade almost every weekend, it was one indulgence you missed dearly.

Your shower is long and drawn out, way longer than it should have been. Supper is served at a grand dining room table, Yoongi declines to join.

“The food is amazing, you’re a wonderful cook,” You offer her a genuine smile, “it reminds me of home.”

“Thank you, I don’t get to do this very often, we haven’t had guests in quite a while,” She refills your glass of water and Jimin’s as well, “and Yoongi’s lifestyle doesn’t allow for a lot of home-cooked meals.”

“Yeah,” Jimin nods, glancing up at you, “you cook right? You told me once,”

“Yeah,” You look at your plate and then smile at Ayeong, “I’m not this good though,”

“Thank you sweetheart,” Ayeong adds an additional spoonful of rice to each of your plates, “if you ever want to cook something, let me know and I’ll get the ingredients ordered.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,”

You felt a genuine smile creep up, you haven’t felt that in awhile.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

2 years ago

“Y/n, your acceptance letter!”

You raced from your bedroom, throwing your headphones off.

“Let me see,” You ran to get the envelope, “wait, no! I don’t want to…”

“You have to open it eventually, come on,” Your aunt teases, “just take a deep breath.”

You’re a bit jittery, butterflies swarming in your stomach. So much as gone into this, hours of late night studying, honors classes—it’s all come down to this.

“I…I got in,” For some reason, fireworks don’t go off, “I was accepted.”

“Why aren’t you happy? You’ve been waiting for this,”

“We can’t afford this, even with my scholarship it’s not enough to cover room and board-“

“Your grandmother wants to pay for your living expenses and any tuition that’s not covered by your scholarships,”

“What? Nana doesn’t have that type of money,”

“Not Nana, your grandmother on your mothers side, you know she’s pretty wealthy. She called me a few years ago and told me to tell her when you started college, she wants to pay for it.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why? It’s a good thing-“

“The last time I talked to them, they acted like I was a nobody, like I should have never existed, they’re my estranged family for a reason.”

“Y/n, you know your grandmother has always cared about you, she’s the only one who ever bothered to reach out to you,”

“Yeah, but I don’t need anything from them, they abandoned me.”

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

3 Months Later

“We’ll have a shipment coming soon, one of the capos need to accept it,” Yoongi paces from one side of the desk to the other, “just let Hoseok know who- He’s not taking direct shipments right now, just have it done, do you not know how to follow simple directions? Okay, then do it,” Yoongi hangs up the phone, “fucking idiots.”

Ayeong peaks into the room, she sees the exhaustion in his eyes, the last Min to occupy this office had those same eyes. “Here you are,”

“Thank you,” He takes the cup and has a seat on the desk.

“Y/n is sweet, she reminds me of your mother when she was young, how did she get into this?”

“Her brother,” Yoongi replies bluntly, “her brother is Kim Seokjin.”

“Oh,” She can’t help but inquire further, “why is she with you and not with him?”

“I made a mistake,” The kind that ruins someone’s life.

“I think I’ve ruined dozens of lives, I know I have, but its never bothered me before, I thought I was used to it,” He confesses, “I used her to save her brother- I thought it would save him.”

She recoils a bit, surprised to hear Yoongi be that honest. “It didn’t?”

“I don’t know,” He recalls a tone similar to his if not harsher resonate in this room years ago, “here’s the messed up part, I don’t even know if I would have done things differently,”

“I know there’s a lot you have to carry, your father was the same way,” She sighs, “your mother was the only one who knew what he went through.”

“Huh,” He sighs, “you say that like he confided in her.”

“He did. I know what you saw from them was bad, but before you were born, your mother was actually happy to be with him,”

“That’s hard to believe.”

“It’s true. Did she never tell you how they grew apart?…” Yoongi’s furrowed brows indicates that he doesn’t know the whole story.

“She couldn’t have children for almost 3 years before she had you, that started to strain on their marriage. When she did get pregnant, they were so happy. But not long after you were born, he became obsessed with grooming you into his successor…your mother was against it.”

He knows this, how could he forget? His mother wanted one thing and his father wanted another. This life tends to blur things, push things aside and make you run, it’s painful to slow down and think.

“He got his wish.”

“When he took you and your mother away, we all feared for your life…I’m just glad your back home,” She smiles, brushing Yoongi’s hair out of his face, “and you brought a girl.”

“She’s not safe with anyone else,” He moves away from Ayeong’s hand, already picking up what she thought she subtly put down, “that’s the only reason she’s here.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t, I’m just glad to see you showing a little compassion, that’s all,” She says, as she makes her way out, “I’ll leave you to your work then.”

*

Staying at the estate has been plush and comfortable, you got used to it rather quickly. Hoseok came accompanied by their newest business partner, Akane. She only stayed for about a day, Hoseok stayed and then Yoongi left.

When Yoongi was at the estate, he spent his days neck deep in calls and meetings in his office, or gone for days on end. You haven’t had the chance to shadow him nearly as much, you’ve had no choice but to spend your days trying to be a normal person again.

Today is different, Jimin was teaching you how to fight someone with a knife. You were struggling to keep up, he was going really fast for some reason and before you could ask him to slow down, you were panting to catch your breath. Knife under your neck, flat on your stomach with an arm unnaturally twisted behind your back.

“Br- Break!” You utter out.

Jimin pulls away with a grunt.

“What would you have done had I actually been trying to kill you?” He tosses the pocket knife aside, “You’re promising in the initial attack but you lack tact when you get tired, your endurance is shit,”

You sit on your knees, glaring up at him.

“Stand up,” He gets in position, “we’ll build your endurance, fight like hell, don’t worry about hurting me, you won’t.”

You hit the floor after he sweeps your leg, he uses his legs a lot when he fights. But this time you get up in time to strike his face so hard that he instinctively grants you a powerful blow to your side.

“Ow!” You hold your side and keel over. But he doesn’t stop there, you haven’t said break yet. You grow more and more frustrated the more hits he lands on you. You don’t know if this is building your endurance more than it is him just letting you have it.

“Jimin, wait!” You take another hit and this time land flat on your face. “Ouch,” You feel liquid trickle from your mouth, “you busted my lip,”

“You didn’t say break,” He takes a moment to push back the stray hairs from his little ponytail and catch his breath, “your attacker won’t stop because you ask them to, they don’t care about messing up your pretty face, most of them don’t at least.”

“Yeah, neither do you,” You hold your mouth, “I want to stop for today.”

“You’re gonna quit because of a little blood? You slapped the shit out of me, you don’t see me complaining,”

“You said I couldn’t hurt you,” You shoot back.

“Of course I said that, it was to get under your skin,”

“It hurts,” You kneel down, holding your hands to your mouth, plucking his heart strings, “I might need stitches,”

“Is it really that bad?” You sense him walk up behind you. “Let me see-“

Here’s your chance.

You charge toward him with all of your strength and his back hits the ground, eliciting a wince of pain from his lips. You have him pinned under you, somehow. You have the knife he had thrown aside moments ago and now you’re holding it to his neck.

“What do I do when I get someone like this? Do I actually do it?” You stare down at him, eyes shaking. “Kill them?”

He swallows, eyes trained on your intense expression and rapid breathing. Proud would be an understatement for how he feels right now, turns out you’re actually learning something.

“I’m impressed, you finally got me.” He gives you props for this little stunt.

“Thanks,” you smile, more out of relief that your plan worked than from the compliment. You squeal when the position is reversed and you’re now flat on your back, it was a short lived victory.

“Kill them before they kill you,” He squeezes your wrist hard enough to make you drop the knife, “don’t give them an opportunity to turn the tables like this, your struggle will be in vain if you get yourself killed,” He takes your wrists and stretches them above your head and fear washes over your face, “you left yourself wide open, you had a knife to my neck, yeah, but my hands were free, my legs too if you count how easy it is to push you off,” He chuckles at the frustrated look on your face.

“You did good but you have to disarm the arms and the legs, then you have the upper-hand, you give them a reason not to move while giving yourself as much mobility as possible.”

“I get it,” You knit your brows, struggling to break free as he tightens his grip, “I get it, now get off!”

“I don’t think so,” He lets out a sinister laugh, “free yourself or say the word,”

“No,” You grit your teeth, “just kill me.”

He scoffs, letting you go out of sheer amusement.

“Just kill me? Wow,” He takes the wraps from his knuckles, “that’s what you would say to someone clearly trying to kill you?”

“You let go didn’t you? It was worth a shot,” You mumble, taking yours off as well.

Most of your days went by like this, some days you’d sneak off with Ayeong to talk, some nights you envy Jimin’s ability to leave the house as he pleased.

That night, Hoseok said they had to meet Yoongi at an auction. Something about the industry needing to see that they still had a presence. You asked if you could join them, it was unlike anything you’d ever prepared yourself for. Though, it reminded you of trip you took with Jungkook and Namjoon. But this time, you’re less scared to death.

“Can I ask you a question?” He shifts gears in the car, the acceleration making your heart jump a bit. Hoseok was picked up by a car, leaving you and Jimin and to find your own way.

“Did you really want to join the group? I didn’t think you’d want to live the rest of your life like this but when they told me you joined, I was surprised,”

You subconsciously pull down your dress, a little black dress you found in the spare clothes. The dress code was formal, so you did the works with make up all. “Why?”

“Our members are family, you’re like a sister to all of us,” He continues, “we’ll protect you with our lives and we expect you to do the same. It’s not an easy job.”

“I know that,”

“There are rules you have to follow, though, those rules are probably gonna change again soon, no one follows them like they used to,”

“Rules?” You peer at him, genuinely curious.

“Limited family contact, no going back to your old life or disclosing your true profession, no harming the innocent, no taking consuming the product that we sell, those are just a few of the old ones.”

You nod to yourself, already having considered those stipulations.

He never said you where he was going, he just an auction, not much more information than that. It puzzled you why you decided this was a good idea, you knew it wasn’t wise, but you didn’t want to be wise today, you wanted to be free. You wanted to taste freedom, to feel it.

“Jimin, what the hell are you doing here?!”

As soon as you arrived at the building, you knew where you were, a bar. Anxiety began to pool in your stomach, you weren’t used to this scene. Hostess obviously knew Jimin by the way she practically kissed him when he walked in.

“Mira, shh,” He giggles, keeping the woman from fully smothering him, “I’m glad to see you too but we gotta keep a low profile right now, take us to the gold.”

Mira? The woman who first saw you roaming in Namjoon’s base ages ago. She introduced you to Jiyoon, your punishment for being with two feet of Jungkook.

“Oh my gosh, you,” She clasps a hand over her mouth when her eyes land on you, “I thought you were dead.”

“No, I’m still very much alive somehow,” You laugh awkwardly, “why are you all the way out here?”

“Jimin got me this job,” She places a gentle hand on his shoulder, “I got tired of being pimped out, the house some of us girls stayed in was ransacked right after Namjoon left to join Yoongi, it was time for me to get out of that life anyway,” She shrugs, “I take it you’re out too?”

“Yeah,” You nod, moving to stand closer to Jimin.

“Good for us,” She smiles, “right?”

“Yeah, good for us…”

Mira leads you two to the back of the bar and to an elevator you would have never guessed was back there.

“Enjoy! I think they just started the first bid,” She waves goodbye as the elevator shuts.

Jimin stands tall, confident and relaxed, adjusting his collar a bit, “I didn’t know you knew Mira,” Jimin points out lowly.

“I really don’t know her know her,” You reply softly, “I ran into her a few times.”

“Why did you want to come?” He cuts to the chase, no beating around the bush. “I leave almost every night and you’ve never been interested in joining me before.”

The elevator doors open and once you walk down the hall, you see a grand room. It seems mikes long. You’re immediately offered a glass of champagne you feel Jimin’s hand on your lower back, keeping you beside him.

“I wanted to get out like you,” You take a sip, the frothy bubbles lingering on your lip before you lick it away quickly, “y’know, get some fresh air.”

“I’m glad you came, it gets a little lonely coming to these events all alone,” He combs his hair back with precise hand, “so thanks for joining us, Yoongi and the others should be here soon.”

As you two walked about, he explained the reason for coming to these events.

“It’s not only about the art, while it is a good investment, it’s about the buyers and sellers and their businesses. It’s a way to build, grow, and even end relationships.”

“So that’s what we’re here to do?” You conclude.

“Kind of,” He chuckles, “we’re here to let people know we’re still active, that’s about all they told me.”

You two stand at the bar where he orders an old fashioned in place of his champagne. He helps you sit on the stool and people-watch for a few minutes. You hat to admit it, but you marvel at the way Jimin looks so alluring, piquing the interest of everyone passing by. After about 5 minutes he’s on the second glass, he loves his liquor.

“Jimin,” You give him a shy smile, “Did you mean it when you called me self-absorbed?”

“Y/n, I was hurt when I said that,” He sighs, flashing that charming smile,“but yeah, you can be a bit selfish.”

“You scare me,” You glance away from him, “one minute you’re flirting the next you’re acting like you hate me, I don’t know what to believe…”

“You’re not innocent. You used me and I wanted to make sure you knew that, you keep living like things were just happening to you, like you have nothing to do with it. I wanted to prove a point, you’re partly to blame for your issues.” He attempts to justify his behavior but you don’t believe him.

“I did what I had to do to survive, you used me too,” It’s the truth. Your need to survive quickly morphed into an obsession with Jungkook’s protection, then Jimin’s attention. “You’re much worse than me actually...”

“I know, I do what I had to do to survive, always have,” He tongues at his cheek, “you played the damsel in distress role a little too well. I actually thought I started to love you, you led me on big time,”

“It wasn’t love,” You brush him off, “I don’t think anyone really loves me, not anymore...”

“Don’t say that,” He pinches your chin, forcing your eyes to stay trained on his, “I’ve always liked you…that’s why I have such a weak spot for you,”

“You have a weak spot for a lot of people, at least that’s what I’ve heard,”

“Oh yeah? what else have you heard?“ He tries not to sound too eager to know but it’s all over his face, he’s dying to know.

“It doesn’t matter, I don’t believe everything I hear,” you spare him the lengthy tangents Jungkook has gone on before, “you’re not a bad person, more misunderstood.”

“You’ve said that before, I think you might be lying,” He looks a you through half-lidded eyes, “you’re good at that.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” You snap, gulping down the last bit of your champagne, to Jimin’s surprise, “if I am a liar, it’s because of you, you all gave me no choice but to defend myself the only way I knew how, that’s not my fault...”

“I’m guessing lies are what lead to Jungkook breaking up with you, I assume that’s who cut things off,” He guesses correctly, “it’s a sore spot, I know, he must have gone too far, he’s always been that way,”

You look up at him, bottom lip tight between your teeth. Tears threaten to fall from your eyes but you try yo push them back. The mere mention of Jungkook is causing your body to respond in grief. You shut him out of your mind completely, just to give yourself time to process.

“Hey, I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about that,” He backs off immediately, wiping under your eye with his thumb, “let’s dance.”

Somehow, that lead to 5 minute dance that turned into a 15 minute dance, as if Jungkook didn’t exist, as if you two were friends simply indulging in a night out. He tugged you closer and you wondered when he had totally lost his good sense, maybe on the second drink? He was talking, a lot. You don’t even know what he was saying, not a word.

“Now that we’re always together, I thought you’d get bored of me,” You whisper, arms wrapped around his neck as his hands hold you at an oddly appropriate distance, you catch him trying to hide his blush.

“Baby,” He mumbles, swaying a bit to bring himself some solace, “I could never get bored of you.”

“What’s up with Yoongi? I’ve been worried,” You ask suddenly, “I keep asking Ayeong when he’s coming back, I haven’t seen him…”

“Why? You have a little crush on him or something?” He giggles. Your expression makes it clear that you don’t find it funny.

“He’s fine…Well, as fine as he could be, I’m not supposed to talk about this with you but,” He swallows, “nevermind,“

“Talk to me about what?,” You hold his face, “what is it?”

“Hey, you two,” Hoseok comes out of nowhere, his flashy suit being as recognizable as ever, “head to booth 7, sit in the back row, Yoongi and I will be in the front with Akane.”

When you get to the booth, just as he instructed you two sit in the back but Jimin leaves you to go speak with someone. When you look beside you , your heart nearly stops. You’re sat next to a familiar face, one way too familiar for your liking.

“You’re a fan of Kimberly Blanc or are you also here for show?”

You know this guy.

“I’m Gwangmin, by the way,” he extends a hand to you, “and you are?”

“Uh, why do you need to know?” You swallow nervously, hoping he doesn’t recognize you.

“You’re undercover then. Do you have an alias? I bet it’s something badass, let me guess,” He smiles, and the man next to him with a practically identical face gives the same smile. Twins?

“They want us to put in a bid at a private booths,” Jimin lifts you to your feet, “excuse us.”

“I think I know that guy,” You look back at the man and his eyes linger on you.

“Yeah, that’s a problem, we want to be seen but not so much by people like him,” He leads you to not just a booth, but an entirely different room with less people but some who are obviously high profile.

That’s when you see Yoongi, Taehyung, Hoseok, Akane and their entourage sitting in a private area. Much like the other groups in here, everyone must have their own organizations. Yoongi is sat in the middle of the group with a burning cigarette between his fingers, Jimin goes up to greet him and you stand off to the sidelines. Taehyung is staring you down, but not in a flattering way, he looks too curious.

“Come sit, it’s about to start,” Jimin beckons you to sit beside him and you go over reluctantly.

Yoongi offers you a weak smile and you’re embarrassed to feel a blush coming on. You have to convince yourself that you don’t look out of place. This environment is suffocating and fascinating. Jimin told you that you may see a $20,000 painting being purchased but what’s actually being purchased is cocaine or artillery, you may never know.

“Here’s your number, sir,” A hostess hands Yoongi the number and he instantly hands it to Taehyung.

“You’re doing the bidding, you know this seller better than any of us,” Yoongi puts the cigar out in the ashtray, relieving you of the pungent smell.

“Look who just showed up,” Hoseok takes a long sip of champagne, “probably won’t even put in a bid.”

You look in the direction they’re all glaring in.

Jaebum, the man who kickstarted this all.

Not only him, but the two men who Hoseok and Jimin took you from, you don’t recall their names. And then the one who found you at the hotel in Japan, Jackson. You stomach is doing flips and your heart threatens to leap out of your chest. You feel anxiety, stress, it’s a trauma you’ve yet to face.

Worst part is, they see you.

“Yoongi, it’s good to see you back out after everything that’s happened,” Jaebum looks him over and his eyes just briefly land on yours, “I’m sorry for your loss, all of you.”

“Thank you,” Yoongi nods and you see Taehyung purse his lips, Hoseok and Jimin hang their heads low for a moment, am I missing something?

“Kim Namjoon,” He says his name, “I’ll actually miss the bastard,”

“You’re not the only one,” Yoongi takes a small sip of champagne, “it’s the name of the game, we’re all risking our lives here.”

“And Jeon? Who would have thought he’d land himself in prison, what a shame,” He sighs, “well, I’ll get back to my booth, maybe we can talk soon?”

“Soon,” Yoongi replies calmly.

I’m gonna be sick.

“I need to use the restroom,” You whisper to Jimin. You get out of your chair and scurry out as soon as the bid starts.

Namjoon is gone. Jungkook is in prison, Jaebum is back—this has to be some sick dream. You find the bathroom and throw yourself in an empty stall. So many emotions are coming at you, you feel a panic wash over you. Calm down, calm down—they can’t hurt you. Jungkook isn’t here but the others are, they won’t let it happen again.

“Pull yourself together,” You breathe in, fanning your face to cool down. With all the strength you can muster, you straighten yourself up and walk out of the bathroom. When you make it back to the room, the doors are closed, locked.

“Miss, that’s a private auction,” A hostess comes up to you, “is your party in there?”

“Yes, I just ran to the ladies room, can you open the door for me?“

“I’m sorry, but when these doors are locked, no one is permitted back in until the bid is over, you’re welcome to join other booths,” She smiles, pointing you in the direction of the public bids. You nod, not wanting to cause a scene or bring unwanted attention to yourself. All you can do is wait until the doors open.

*

“Where’s Y/n?” Yoongi looks and Jimin for an answer, who’s chatting it up with the hostess serving drinks, he’s touched her thigh at least three times.

“She went to the restroom, but they won’t let anyone back in until the bid is over,” He returns to his conversation. Normally, that wouldn’t bother Yoongi but one of Jaebum’s men left, that couldn’t be good.

“Tell him not to bid over 30k, I’ll be back,”Yoongi stands up, buttons his suit and heads out the side door despite the protests from Akane.

*

“Y/n?”

You look up at the call of your name, afraid to even see who it was.

“I never thought I’d see you here,” The familiar looking man walks up to you sitting idly by yourself, “do you remember me?”

You give him a strange look. “Do I know you?”

“Not very well, I did spend a lot of time watching your mom though, it’s Jackson, I met you that night, saved your moms life? Ringing any bells?”

“What do you want?” You tense, blood boiling just from the sight of him.

“Nothing,” He raise his hands in surrender, “I’m just surprised to see you here, I heard the news.” He makes his self comfortable beside you, “Namjoon was shot and killed, Jungkook was arrested, I guess you all were set up,”

“Did you have something to do with it?” You boldly accuse.

“That’s not our style, murder is-… messy,”

“But torture isn’t? Kidnapping isn’t?” You scoff. “Give me a fucking break, you’re all the same, I’m sure you would have murdered me if you had to, or for the right price, whichever came first.”

“Aren’t you apart of this now? First I see you in Japan almost a year ago, now your dolled up in the underground auction, you don’t just come here, these organizations are invited, so are you a member now or a dime piece to keep around? I thought you would have joined your brother.”

“Don’t talk to me,” You get up to leave him but he grabs your wrist, “get off!” You yelp, causing several eyes to land on you.

“Hey, quiet down, this is not that kind of place, word travels fast when you make a scene,” He looks around, lowering his voice, “I’m sure you don’t want that, I just want to talk, can we do that?”

“Fuck off,” You snatch your wrist away and storm your way back to the doors, hoping that they have been opened but you’re sadly mistaken. You look back and he’s hot on your trail, that’s when you run into an unexpected savior.

You gasp, Yoongi pulls you to his chest, easily shielding you from the man coming after you. When you peak over his shoulder, Jackson has made a quick detour and you look at Yoongi with panicked eyes. “Y- Yoongi, that man, he’s the one who-“

“Not here,” He whispers against your ear. He drags you off to the bathroom you just came from. The women inside quickly exit when they see him. He takes a quick peak to see if there are any legs under the stall, when it’s confirmed that it’s clear, he looks at you as if you had just broken the most expensive vase in the house.

“What the fuck are you doing? There are rules down here, you talk to those in your rank, but he can’t talk to you if you’re with me,” He presses his temples, “they didn’t tell you?”

“No,” You look down at your feet, embarrassment sweeping over you, “but he knows where my mom is, he said he’s been watching her.”

“I told you where she was long time ago, she’s safe, why are you so worked up?”

“He was there! He was there when this all started,” You cradle your head as if you’re in agony. “He took her after they almost killed her…I could kill him,”

“You can’t settle your grudges here,” He tries to guide you back out but you stubbornly stand there, “let’s go.”

You leer at him, tomato red in the face and arms crossed tightly. “Jaebum is here…How can you all just sit there like nothing ever happened?”

“You have every reason to be upset, but bitching about it won’t solve anything. If you can’t handle confronting your past, Jimin can take you back,” he grabs your hand for the second time, “now, let’s go.”

“I’m not a child! You’ve been keeping me out of the loop like I’m a child. You say I’m a member but you keep everything from me, only me! Are you the one that told Jimin not to tell me about Namjoon getting killed and Jungkook being in prison? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I have my reasons for that, lower your voice and I can explain it to you-“ You cut him off with an even louder volume.

“No! Because why don’t I deserve to know?! You are just like Jin, you don’t see me as apart of this group, and you know what? I never wanted to be! I wanted to survive, if that meant joining you crazy motherfuckers, I didn’t care about loyalty or reputation or even family, I just wanted to live.”

You pause, gauging for a reaction but you’re only met with dark eyes, that grow darker the more you speak. “Are you done?”

“Fuck no,” You sneer, “I could go on for hours actually, because my life is just that fucked up! I’m like you, Jin, and everyone else here,” You take a breath, “you should just let me die, it’s better than letting me pretend I could actually belong here, I don’t belong anywhere anymore .”

The sounds of footsteps approach the bathroom and he quickly pulls you into an empty stall. What he does next leaves you speechless—he hugs you.

His arms enclose around your waist and he presses his face into shoulder. What is happening? You timidly return his embrace, his grip gets tighter, releasing a swarm of butterflies in your belly. You let your fingers get a feel of his now long hair resting on his nape, it’s silky.

He’s warm, and he envelopes your body—it’s comfort. Your eyes slip shut as you relish in the sweet feeling of being held once again.

You hear a few gasps and giggles from the outside of the stall that quickly grow distance. His fingers dig into your back to pull you flush to him, you can feel his steady heart beat against your chest. A smile creeps up onto your lips, he does have one.

He’s human.

Who would have thought?

“Yoongi?…” You say his name in the smallest voice, resting your palms on his chest to create a bit of distance.

“I can’t lose you too,” He draws back to gaze into your wide eyes, “I lost my best friend, your brother, damn near everything…I couldn’t save them so please, I’ll get you out of this but until then, just let me have this, let me save you.”

Your eyes are glued to his eyes and pink lips, he looks almost delicate. It’s amazing, you’re in awe of the gentle Yoongi that has been revealed to you.

You take his hand from your side and hold it to your face, finally feeling just how big it is, “save me from what?…”

He looks at you, face just centimeters from your own. When he opened his mouth to speak, you took a chance—you kissed him.

He’s softer than he looks.

He’s warmer than he seems and the bitter tang of cigars fades as quickly as you taste it.

His nose is cold against your cheek, just as you expected. What you don’t expect is for your face to be tilted up by both his hands to tenderly meet him, or for his lips to part further, seeking more. Seeking you.

This is crazy, he knows it’s crazy and maybe a little tacky. This is not what the boss is supposed to be doing, he’s not supposed to do this. He is expected to have prostitutes and escorts but not love, affection, he is expected not to rely on those things. His father said he didn’t need it to survive. No doting hand, or comforting words from a sweet voice—he was trained to live without it.

Now, long gone are his fathers teachings, he could care less. He notes that your skin is plush, that your breathing is rhythmic, pleasant to hear and to feel a heat apart from his own.

Is this what he’s been missing? This type of juvenile spontaneity.

When you fail to push down a mewl, he slows his assault. He knew his mind was growing hazy, his own lips felt bruised and tingly the longer he went on. It all ends with an audible smack that should embarrass you, but you can’t think about that now. Yoongi kissed you back, as if he had been waiting to. Has he thought about this? He could have rejected you but he chose to let it happen. He deepened it, he made a real kiss out of it, you suppose you did too…

“Y/n, God,” He thumbs your bottom lip, inspecting its rich color color as your eyes finally flutter open.

Your cheeks are flush and his eyes trace over your puffy lips. “Why-…Why did you do that?” He questions you with labored breath, brows furrowed.

“You did it back…” You counter his question with a statement, then your previous question, “you didn’t answer my question, what are you trying to save me from?…”

His answer is sobering.

“From me.”

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

“We’re so glad you could make it, it’s been so long,” Verona takes a pointed sip of her glass, “you look great.”

Melinda was invited to the family estate for dinner, they had no choice, you and Jin were no longer options.

“Thank you, I see your family has grown, you have 5 now, good for you,”

“Well, you know what they say, don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” she feigns that cheeky smile once again.

“That is what they say,” Melinda, glances at all the old faces at the table.

“So,” Henry interjects the awkward exchange, “I know your son studied medicine, what’s he up to now?”

“He’s a traveling physician,”

“You must be proud,” He tries to draw out a smile from her but he’s only met with a cold expression.

“Very,” She forces a smile, “now could you tell me the real reason you called me here? You all have never reached out to me before, unless you’ve wanted something.”

“Our mother passed away recently,” he explains cautiously, “we had a lawyer come and go through her estate, which is extensive as you know, Y/n needed to be here to represent her mother. Because we couldn’t contact her, we had to have the will reading a few weeks ago, without her. Is there a reason we can’t get ahold of her?”

How could they not have known?

“Y/n was kidnapped a year ago, she has been missing and there’s been nothing I could do about it until recently,” her stomach churns just thinking about it, “there’s an agent looking for her now, I can’t get in contact with her, I wouldn’t even know where to start in attempting to.”

“How did that happen?”

She glares. “There’s a lot you all don’t understand, and I’m not going to waste my time explaining it to you.”

“Melinda,” Verona has an almost comical look of shock on her face, “you should have told us sooner.”

“And what would that have done?” She questions. “Nothing, you would have don’t absolutely nothing, in fact you probably would have celebrated know you selfish bastards.”

She’s not wrong.

Ignoring the insult, Henry seeks to save the already fumbled conversation. “Will you let us know when or if she is found?”

“Why? You all don’t deserve to know anything about her, you all don’t even claim her, and she knows it!” Melinda angrily stands to her feet, already fed up with this family, “the only person who loved her on this side of her family is dead, what could you all possibly want from her now? You want her dead too?”

“Our sister made some mistakes,” Verona stands to her feet, “getting with your brother was one of them, now Y/n is paying for it,”

“Give it a rest m, Verona, you don’t get to talk about my family, especially Y/n,” She defends, “my brother loved his wife before and after Y/n was born, he did everything he could to protect her and he loved her to death. None of you would understand that, you’re the most screwed up family I have ever met.”

The room goes silent, awkward glances are exchanged and Melinda decides to quit wasting her time.

“I’m not doing this shit,” she storms out of the dining hall, grabbing her purse from the foyer and going to her car.

“Wait,” Verona yells for her, but she’s already in the car and pulling out of the driveway, “Melinda! Renounce the inheritance, she may already be dead by now!”

All this time, Melinda has had to deal with your being missing for a year, all alone. Another gang had her under their thumb for months, threatening to kill you if she spoke out. One day they just disappeared. That one day when she was able to speak to you, she was finally able to breathe again because she knew you were alive. She’s heard nothing since then.

She has since moved, found a new job and spends her days setting up your bedroom for when you return.

She makes it to her home with a quickness, glad to be as far from them as possible. When she walks in the door, she flicks the light on.

A shriek leaves her mouth at the sight of a man sitting comfortably in her living room. As soon as she makes out who that man is, her shock turns to anger when he stands to reveal himself.

“It’s been a long time, aunt Mel.”

She drops her purse and without much of a second thought, her hand flies across his face with all of the strength she can muster.

Her nephew.

“Shit,” He holds his face and an man comes behind her to grab her arms, “Wei, don’t touch her!” He steps back from her with no protest.

“Go wait in the car, she’s my aunt, not the enemy,” Wei leaves and the door shuts with a loud click.

“How dare you,” She stares at him, “how dare you show your face here after everything you’ve done, where the hell is your sister? I know this mess has everything to do with you.”

“Well, it’s nice to see you too,” He uses his handkerchief to wipe the little bit of blood from his lip, “I was hoping we could talk.”

“Where is she?”

“That’s what I came here to talk to you about, would you have a seat, please?”

She reluctantly complies, taking a seat on the ottoman. “Talk, I’ve had a long night,”

“Alright,” Jin pushes his hair back, “I’ll first have you know, I don’t know exactly where she is. I recently came into a higher position, that costed me a lot of relationships,”

“How do you not know where she is then? You’re the reason she’s gone,”

“Correction, our father is the reason both of us are involved in this. We were together for not even a day before she was taken, we got back together, then we were separated again.”

“If she’s not with you then who is she with?”

“A big shot mafia recently lost a large portion of their organization to me—they have her, she actually chose to join them.”

Melinda frowns. “Why would she do that?”

“Within an entire year, I’m sure you can imagine someone took a liking to her,” Jin sneers, “bottom line is, she didn’t want to stay with me, she chose them.”

“And you let her?”

“I can’t make her do anything.”

“She probably had no choice, Jin, I’m sure you both chose your own selfish way, I know that much.”

“Look, I came here to talk about potentially bringing her back to you, ok? I don’t want to fight,” He takes a seat, legs crossing elegantly.

“Ever since I was a teenager,” She abruptly goes to the kitchen to pour the hardest liquor that she owns, two glasses, “I’ve kept my brothers life a secret, now I’m keeping my nephews life a secret, and you’re my family so I do it without hesitation.” She sets a glass beside Jin.

“You’ve turned my life upside down, do you know how many fucking stories I’ve had to make up because I had some lowlife thug threatening to kill her if I said she was kidnapped m? Come to find out, they didn’t even know where she was so I wasted so much time under their thumb.”

“Ah, you’re talking about Jaebum, the man that started this all, he’s actually been pushing my buttons a little lately,” Jin sighs, “but I assure you, he doesn’t have a clue where she is because neither do I.”

“Whether you believe me or not, I do want Y/n back to her regular life, I regret I ever brought you two into this,” For the first time, Jin offers what seems like a an apology, “I lost a lot and gained a lot, the least I can do is make amends with you, so please, trust me.”

“Jin, I won’t talk until you promise me you’ll bring your sister—my daughter, home.”

“Melinda, I can’t make any promises.”

“Promise me damn it!” She exclaims, throwing the now empty glass down, “My brother worked for the rest of his life to provide for us and shield her from that hell, he made sure no one even knew about us! As soon as he dies, you decide to have bad blood with everyone and we had to pay for it,”

“What do you think I had to go through?!” Now Jin is standing, vein bulging from the elevated volume of his voice. “My mother abandoned me, I didn’t grow up like Y/n, she at least had you. He forced me into this, while he was sending money to you, I was the one in hell. He was a consigliere but that doesn’t mean the job wasn’t messy, his friends changed to enemies more often than you would believe,” He takes a deep breath before sitting back down, “don’t lecture me about what you’ve gone through, we all have to deal with this shit because of him, I’m just trying to fix what I can.”

Jin rarely brings his childhood up, or lack there of. He’s a victim of this business too, just as much as you or anyone else. But know one will give him that, so, he might as well work until he’s reached the top. And he has.

“I miss her, I think about her everyday,” Tears begin to roll down her rosy cheeks, “I just want her to be safe, you can live your life the way you please but I only ask that you bring her back, if not for me then for your dad, so he can rest in peace.”

“She has to want to come home, but she’s in a bit of a bind, there’s this guy.”

“A guy?”

“I’ve known him for years, she ended up running into him and now they’re a thing, he’s literally obsessed with her. He’s convinced her that he’s the only one that can take care of her, she was vulnerable so she believed it. He’s why I haven’t been able to get her home. The good news is, he’s locked up, the bad news is, now she trusts the group and ran away from me.”

“Why is he locked up?”

“I can think of many reasons why but that’s not important, you just need to know that if he gets out, he’ll be looking for her. Until then, I’m going to try to contact her and let her speak with you, I’m sure that’ll convince her to leave them.”

“Ok, ok,” She wipes her tears, “what do I have to do until then? I want to do something to help.

“You can make sure her family doesn’t renounce her inheritance.”

“They called you too then,” She shakes her head in disbelief, “they’re so desperate for her to be dead, it pisses me off,”

“Yeah, seems like she was left with a little more cash than they expected,” Jin chuckles to himself, “either way, if it all goes as planned she me home within weeks.”

“Thank you, Jin,” Melinda embraces Jin for the first time in years, “seriously, you don’t know how much I appreciate this,” She breathes a true sigh of relief, “I want you both to be safe, you’re my nephew too, I’m sorry if I haven’t shown you that.”

He embraces her with a genuine smile, the first genuine smile he’s had in a awhile. “We’re family, we’re a little broken but we’re still family, I’m on your side.”

“Breakfast is served.”

The officer slides the tray through the window, giving the inmate some of the best food selections in the prison. It is all in vain though, he barely even picks at it.

“Hey, instead of being a picky little shit, you should eat, you have a visitor,” The guard lets out a heavy scoff. Prisoners in maximum security rarely get such treatment, the guy should be grateful.

“Who?”

“He speaks,”

The guard mocks him.

“Who is it?”

“You’ll see,”

He decides to drink the concentrate orange juice but leave the rest. He hasn’t had much of an appetite, how could he?

“Let’s go,” The officer comes back with two others and cuffs. He extends his wrist and the cuffs make that gnawing sound. The man is walked out of his cell, adorned in all navy prison suit that his tattooed body contrasts.

“Have a seat,” They push him into the room and chain his cuffs to the table as soon as he sits.

“You’re scared I’m gonna do somethin’? Whoever this fucker is, I’m sure they’re prepared to defend themselves if I do decide to do something,” He scoffs, sporting that cocky glint in his eyes that the officers have grown to despise.

“Is that a threat?”

Jungkook gives a haughty shake of the head. “Never,”

“Just shut up, your visitor is waiting,” The guard leaves the room, more annoyed than he was before. Maybe this visitation will make him less of an asshole.

There are officers watching from behind the glass and through the monitors. The prisoners looks at the cameras that were supposed to be well hidden and gives a little wave, the one-way mirror gets a cheeky smile.

When the door opens, he’s prepared for anyone to walk through that door. His enemy’s, a friend, a state-appointed lawyer wishing to discuss his case, even Namjoon.

He was prepared for anyone but her.

His eyes went wide, mouth agape and mind void of all thoughts. She stands only so tall, hair dark as night, just like his. She hasn’t changed a day, she still has that youthful face, not the face of a tired mother but a happy woman.

“Jungkook,” She takes a seat across from him and immediately holds his nearly trembling hands, “I never wanted to see you like this, this is what I was always afraid of, you used to say your group took care of you-…If that’s true, then why are you here?”

I’m dreaming.

“Jungkook,” She stares into his eyes, brows furrowed, “please, say something,”

Why would she come to see me?

“Mom, it’s been years…” He utters that name for the first time in years, “how did you know I was here?”

“Junghyun told me everything, the accident, now this,” She takes a breath, “I was so worried about you...”

Of course, he’s behind this.

“Is he here?” Jungkook’s look of awe quickly turns into a displeased one.

“Yes, he brought me here.”

“Let me talk to him,”

“Jungkook, you’ve barely talked to me,” Her heart aches a bit at his cold exterior slowly glazes him over, “he told me you were shot.”

“Grazed.” Jungkook corrects her, “I was grazed, not shot.”

“Ok, what’s the difference? you’re hurt either way. He said you were in an accident with your girlfriend a few months ago and that’s the last time he saw you?”

“Why did he tell you that?” His frown becomes even deeper, so identical to that face he used to make as a kid.

“I asked him about you, and he said you were really distraught when you were separated from her, I can imagine that you’re having a hard time right now.”

Jungyhun pulled out everything he could to get Jungkook to buckle.

“You don’t know the half of it, Mom, you really don’t, he shouldn’t have dragged you into this. I don’t have a girlfriend anymore and even if I did it wouldn’t matter, because I don’t know where anyone is,” He lets out a sigh of frustration, “Now please, let me talk to Jungyhun,”

She can’t hide her disappointment when he practically dismisses her. It’s been years since they’ve spoken, ages. Meeting in prison is certainly not ideal but she never expected him to act disinterested at the sight of her.

“Why are you being like this? You don’t want to talk to me?…” Her voice breaks.

“I’m in prison, ma,” He states the obvious, “I don’t have anything and I don’t know what’s going on,” he hesitates for a moment, “what could we possibly talk about?”

“I- I don’t know,” She recoils, hands moving to her lap and away from her son, “I missed you…You’re so tall now, you have all this ink on your arms, but you have that same face, just like your father-”

“I don’t even remember what he looks like.”

It was true.

“I missed you, Jungkook, I love you.”

“I used to miss you too,” He sighs to himself, “I missed you the moment you left, then I came to my fucking senses.”

She should have known.

“If you would have stayed with me, maybe we wouldn’t be here.”

He used to take everything personally, he still does.

“Are you blaming me for this?... That’s not fair, Jungkook, I asked you not to live like this, I begged you to stop.”

“I couldn’t, even if I wanted to and you knew that.” His fists tighten in the cuffs, his eyes darken too.

“Well was it worth it? Swearing your loyalty to those people?”

“They’re my family! they’ve been there for me,” He furrows his brows, “when you were gone, they took me in, they will always be worth it.”

“I’m your family, Jungkook,” She utters in a shaky tone, “your brother and I, we’re your blood, we love you-“

“Please,” He holds his face with both hands, tension resonating from the back of his neck to the front of his head, “just let me talk to Junghyun,”

She leaves the room, pushing back tears.

“He wants to talk to you,”

With a heavy sigh, the older of the Jeons makes his way into the room and Jungkook eyes him like prey. “What are you trying to do here? Give her a fucking heart attack?”

This kid.

“What am I trying to do? Jungkook, you’re unbelievable,” Junghyun sits down, looking just like the angry sibling in front of him.

“Why did you bring her here? Who put you up to this?”

“You're in prison, and you haven’t seen Mother in years, I thought you’d be happy to see her, hell, given the circumstances, I thought I’d get at least a thank you,”

Jungkook glares up at him.

“It’s not easy for her to see you like this y’know, no mother wants this for their child, how could you treat her so cold?”

Jungkook offers no response.

“I found out that you’re more than just a gang member, you’re what they call ‘high ranking’. I talked to the chief and they want to prosecute you for your extensive rap sheet.”

He squirms in his seat, eyes cutting from his brother to the camera in the corner.

“If you work with me, the chief is willing to cut a deal with you.”

“Why are you cozy with him?”

“I’m in the government, I’m the director of health a welfare,” Junghyun walks around the table, “I’m in high places and I know people, I want to help you.”

“Why would you help me? Aren’t I a disgrace? You’ve always lived life as if you’re ashamed of me, what’s the sudden change of heart?”

“I’m not ashamed of you, you pushed me and your mother away,” Junghyun sighs, “the lawyer will come talk to you in the morning, we can negotiate a plead deal if you agree to share some information.”

“Not interested, thanks.”

“Jungkook, stop being stupid! This life, it’s screwed you over and you’re alone. No one is coming to save you and the only people who give a damn enough to be here is your real family.”

He won’t admit it but he has been waiting for three months to wake up and see Namjoon getting him out of this place. A week turned to two weeks, then three, then a month, then three months. Not a word, not a message, nothing.

“Do you want to see Kim Y/n?”

Jungkook’s demeanor shifts noticeably.

“One of the best agents is looking for her now, once they find her-“

“You can’t bribe me with her.”

That actually comes as a shocker to the older Jeon but he doesn’t show it.

“You're not with her anymore?”

“Why does it matter to you?“

All of a sudden, the door opens and a tall woman with bangs and eye catching full red lips walks in.

A set up.

“Mr. Jeon, I’m agent Lisa Ban, I’ve been heading a case for Kim Y/n, according to hospital records, 10 months ago Ms. Kim was checked into the ER because of a car accident, with you. Do you know where she is right now?”

Jungkook stares at the woman as if she’s spouting out gibberish.

“Was she with you against her will?”

Still, Jungkook just stares at her.

“Sir, Ms. Kim was seen with you, the nurse on staff said you two appeared to be in a relationship, is that true?”

“Jungkook, answer the questions,” Junghyun exasperates, “why’re you being so damn difficult?”

“Mr. Jeon, she went missing a year ago and since then, she has only been seen with you. You have nothing to gain from this, you’re in prison and we need your help to find her, if you cared about her you would help.”

“I can’t help you.”

[starsscarmyceiling]

have you finished battle scars? 😐

Oh damn nonnie. I mean sit the fuck down and get comfortable because I have a lot of feelings on this. Please keep in mind that these are my opinions and takes. I am not looking to fight or argue. If your experience differs from mine and you have different opinions, you are still totally valid.

Alright my babies, let's get into it...

It’s difficult. I feel like I—well, have a lot of feelings, like I said. And upon further contemplation the more time passes (which I know it’s only been out for like a week and a half, but still), the more aspects of it tend to confuse and baffle me.

Because yes, am I happy there was a Merrical implied ending? I mean, of course. What kind of Merrical shipper would I be if I wasn’t? I guess my main frustrations therein lie with the overall story that was told. Because first of all, I thought the story was kind of weak. But Merrin having her moment and being able to process her trauma? Yes. The Mantis, attempting and sorting out the internal issues amongst them? Yes. Cal, attempting to challenge his beliefs of everything he has been taught within the context of this new galaxy? Yes. Merrin and Cal ultimately choosing to stay with each other because they want to? YES.

I understand why Merrin did what she did throughout the book. She was still in a cycle of heavy depression, and there was a vicious cycle of her not having any source to fill herself back up because one, she never had the opportunity to process her trauma (apparently), and two, nor was there an environment that was actively being fostered for her to do so. The Jedi are known of course, to be in line with that toxic positivity, but what frustrated me was all of the juicy potential that we could have had.

What actually bothered me about her so called “development” is that it happened off screen. It was all like, well just take our word, she is like finding all of these things out over here we promise. Because the whole time she was doing this, it was completely dependent on another character that was not Cal, just some random bitch we don’t care about, instead of coming to these things on her own or with someone she has an actual bond with. The way in which these things came about pissed me off so much because she could have had these moments with Cal, whom apparently she had this amazing developed relationship with, of which we never got to actually see. They went back and forth saying the Mantis crew wasn’t touchy feely, but then talked about how her and Cal had all these long, meaningful conversations…so like…what the fuck were these conversations actually about? They never talked about themselves or their traumas at all???? Merrin literally thinks at one point, up until she met Fret, Cal was the only person she felt like she could share things about herself with…but the way in which this was written really doesn’t make me believe that at all. It was just cheaply done like, lol, well just again trust us that these two people have developed relationship here in the interim. It was like, so unsatisfying to read. At no point did they actually show how and why her and Cal grew to care about one another other than us being told they were. That is what I am truly pressed about.

Also, I truly am not a fan of how Cal’s characterization was handled. I feel like he was just written like he was like seven years old or something. Cal can be awkward and aloof, sure…but I feel like this was just taken too far. Not only did he get cucked (in his own fucking BED; idc I will never get over that), but he also got reduced to a seven year old boy that didn’t have nearly as much depth as he could have had. I liked him questioning his ideology, but I felt like these topics were brought up and not really resolved. When I write Cal, I feel like all of the potential lies in using what has already been given to us. I see Cal as someone who is well versed at understanding people’s emotions, an empath, compassionate, protective, and obviously having such a big heart, especially for those he cares about and loves. And is this because of his psychometry? Or just how he is naturally, who knows it could be a combination of both. Think about it, this is a person that has been experiencing what could be complex adult emotions his whole life. And you’re telling me that he’s still that oblivious? Hmm, I don’t think. And wtf he doesn’t feel that many echoes? Mf was going around that whole game feelings those all the fucking time.

If I could quote a frond, @wayfaringjedi, this was a pretty hot take:

“How much stronger would it have been for Cal to confront that he has to allow her to feel anger to heal, and that anger is a useful emotion

How much stronger would it have been for Merrin to realise that safety exists, that she will not be rejected for being herself or being difficult or being angry, that she has her place

How could it have been for Cal to realise that he had made Merrin feel that he was not a safe person to disclose this to? How would that have challenged his ideology?

Or for Merrin to realise her refusal to try to access peace like Cal does is what alienates her from others?”

And honestly, couldn’t have said it better myself. Like, do you know how many amazing fics I've read out there, where it's Merrin and Cal, getting to have these moments in the engine room? Where it's them having pillow talk and growing closer? God this whole thing really felt like a slap in the face I was not prepared for.

These characters weren’t really handled with care. I didn’t hate the whole book, but I just feel like it just could have been better. I am veryyyyy much interested in what’s going to happen in Survivor, I mean we all are, obviously. I was taking comfort in Merrin saying they were probably never going to see Fret again. I really don’t understand why Fret was there. There is a way to create situations and tension and conflict and making important realizations between them without inserting some random purple bitch. Because istfg, if at some point in Survivor, we have to go like pick up Merrin and she is with Fret, I am going to throw my PS5 out the window and scream and rage in the streets. (Respawnnnnn, I know where you live do not TEST me). I am obviously hoping for canon Merrical, which I do think is a distinct possibility. Because if we don’t, then what the fuck was all of that for?

I feel like BS (heh, aptly named) has suffered the TROS problem of not being able to satisfy anyone lol. Okay because who the FUCK is this book for dude?

Because it’s obviously pissed off all the Merricals. We would have never wanted this.

And it doesn’t really satisfy those who don’t ship either because there is so much Merrical subtext.

But, I mean, I do have to say this book did make me grow to love Greez even more. He was 👑💩 the whole fucking time. Throwing shade at Fret throughout, I was living for it. When he went off on Fret after he woke up from getting his arm cut off, I was fucking eating my popcorn like pop offfff. And I cannot emphasize enough how much I loved Cal in his petty jealous area. Obsessed. He deserves it completely like also go off 👑. Him and Greez were my only bright spots throughout this experience. So glad he got to have his moment too when he "I KNOW HOW IT FEELS!" God I love it. We should all just listen to Greez at all times, like yes please let us drop that Fret bitch off on Batuu with a fruit cake bing bang boom.

I also did enjoy the moments between Cere and Cal together really trying to navigate what it means to be a Jedi in this galaxy in this so entirely dangerous climate for them. Glad Cere is embracing her as a Jedi and using the force again. Totally got the foreshadowing of her being in some kind of archives that we saw in the trailer, preserving the ways of the Jedi. Very fitting for her.

And yesss, there were a few cute moments. Those first two chapters were LIT I gotta say. Like TOGETHER THEY WERE THE LIGHT AND THE DARK CAL WAS THE STAR THAT ILLUMINATED HER SHADOW, that did murder me. And the fucking wound cleaning scene, omfg. I know that murdered ALL of us. Jfc.

I also feel like it would have been a lot more interesting for Fret to just be there to betray them. It would have taught Merrin a lesson of not just diving into something with someone that is entirely based on lust. The fact that she got a redemption was idk…just boring to me I guess. And I know I am biased because I don’t like her, but I mean come on I am a feral fucking Merrical over here is anyone surprised???

Okay lol, have I complained enough? Haha I am guessing you knew what you were getting into anon when you came to my ask box. Lol everyone knows I can never stfu. Anyway, hope that satisfied you.

And hm should you guys be looking out on the horizon for something? Well let’s just say I am definitely using all of these feelings that I have and am putting them somewhere 💅🏻

Anyway, I hope all the Merricals out there are having a great day. Meet me at Applebees and we can cry together 💕💕💕