#it doesnt feel like !! authentic enough to me

[xamaxenta]

Stresses me out alot that i cant physically bind anymore idk what happened in the last few years but any kind of compression hurts and it sucks it was the only thing i could do now i cant even do that

[minnieposting]

i am reading "art and fear" and i want to peel the skin off my face its so. AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[firstkanaphans]

if i have permission to be a bit of a bitch in your inbox (feel free to ignore this if not), the dichotomy people build between bl and queer media is sooooo fascinating. and of course by that i mean it gives me hives. the universalizing of 'real queer experiences' is obnoxious as hell, but how its been applied to ofts has really shown me why i find it so obnoxious. most of the people who hold this dichotomy would never classify a bl that ignores homophobia as 'authentically queer' media. but i definitely saw people who hoped that the 'authentically queer' ofts would exist in a bubble without any slutshaming, or that it would be resolutely shut down in show. but in my aroallo experience? that would be as inauthentic as the no homophobia bubble, so where does that leave us?

also the circular logic in the bl vs queer media arguments is mind numbing. 'bl doesnt cover these types of themes' yeah dude because you forcibly remove everything with those themes from the bl category in your head. 'queer media must acknowledge homophobia' the idea that a story by queer people about queer characters isnt really queer because it chooses to focus on joy or discovery or any other facet of queer existence is so fucking depressing. go hug a queer friend and think about why you feel queerness is defined by suffering before anything else.

Oh, hey, you found my soap box, Anon! Let me just step on up there with you for a minute.

So, first off, let me just say how much I hate the term “authentically” queer. It seems to suggest that in order to be queer, you have to be queer a certain way. As an ultra femme lesbian, the queer community often makes me feel like I’m not queer enough. That I don’t understand the hardships that come with being gay because I am “straight-passing.” This is the same thing people do to BLs. News flash: if you’re queer, you’re queer. Period. Congratulations, that’s all it takes to be authentic!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a large percentage of the people I see using this designation are straight women who think that queer suffering is a necessary part of the queer experience, but a lot of “authentically queer” people—me included—don’t want to be reminded of our real-life suffering every time we turn on the TV. Heartstopper is triggering for me. Bad Buddy is not. As a queer woman currently living in Ron DeSantis’s Florida,  I deserve to be able to turn on the TV every once in a while and not be reminded that there are people in the world who want me dead.

I’ve learned that when people describe a BL as “authentically queer,” what they actually mean is “This BL feels more Western”—the racist insinuation there being that Western media is inherently better.

I feel like The Eclipse is a good example of this hypocrisy. No one has ever called The Eclipse “authentically queer” despite the fact that it delivers one of the most nuanced takes on the dangers of systemic homophobia that I have seen anywhere. The writers of both the source material and the script are gay men. The director is queer. That seems to meet all of the qualifications these people set for “authentically queer” and yet no one has ever questioned that The Eclipse is a BL. Why? Because it incorporates traditionally Asian/yaoi humor tropes such as the pratfall and the accidental kiss. 

Are you sensing a pattern? It’s not the queer-ness of a piece of media that determines whether it is seen as “authentic.” It is its “Western-ness.”

Let me be very clear: All BLs are “authentically queer” media because the only requirement needed for a piece of media to be “authentically” queer is for the characters to be queer. And if you don’t like that, then maybe stop watching BLs.

If the people who were producing these shows had a problem with the term, that would be another discussion, but they don’t. P’Jojo has never advertised Only Friends as anything other than a BL. The fandom did that for him. And with all due respect, if the people making the fucking thing are calling it a BL, then it’s a fucking BL.

So, yeah. Not liking BLs doesn’t make you cool. It makes you a bigot. The fact that the term has become so derogatory is rooted in both racism and misogyny because this was originally a genre created by women, for women, and the hobbies of women are so often infantilized.

BLs are queer media. Die mad about it.

[sophaeros]

golden trunks theory but i've forgotten how to do literary analysis:

so i think much like a lot of tbhc golden trunks is about a juxtaposition between intimacy/desire and the facade u have to put up as a public figure

like the opening verse/chorus are so starkly plain in the mental image they describe. it's just a simple portrait of an intimate night falling asleep together, and theres a very secretive tone created by the words "whispered" "admit". so from the get go we know immediately that it's about "true love" → romantic connotations, and this true love is associated w the night ie secrecy

this is a stark contrast to the second verse and bridge but esp the bridge where he plainly says "in the daytime". usually the day and light are associated w truth and revealing things but here he uses the daytime to talk about "a fresh new pack of lies", in contrast to the nighttime's "true love". the fact that the bridge is about being a celebrity and contending with lying for the sake of public relations is made very clear w how he says "bendable figures" → public figures who just bend/conform to the narrative crafted by pr managers, and most obviously w the use of the word "publicise". in an interview w la times hes asked if he enjoys being a pop star (w all the pressure and attention that entails) and he says "i have very little basis for comparison. the band has been going on for a larger fraction of my lifetime than it hasn’t." so as a very private person even leaving conspiracy theories about sexuality aside hes obv familiar w trying to keep the details of his relationships out of the spotlight. + this idea of the nighttime being the time for truth has been used before in diwk so it's a consistent theme

lots of people say the song about politics bc of the second verse cuz they say it's about (eugh) donald trump but i feel like thats a very surface reading. it's very out of place to me for him to have this randomass political commentary in a love song that he never brings up ever again which is why i dont think it's actually political commentary (or well, not Just, the pitchfork interview shows that is Is aware of politics obv it's just not the Point) it's just another angle to illustrate the idea of a public facing facade. he states in an interview that he thought of the wwf, which has given us the very interesting concept of kayfabe: the fact or convention of presenting staged performances as genuine or authentic. the public persona, like a wrestler w a dramatic theme song, is larger than life, rehearsed, beloved and famous, and also very much fake. 

this next part i said entirely as a joke making shit up while talking to my mutuals but then i was like wait maybe i was cooking. we're getting into more speculative rpf territory here but essentially i thought it was very interesting how he specifies that this is "the closest thing to a love song on this record", and also that the character it's centred around is one that he "made". many of his past love songs everyone knows are about his real actual love interests (eg shes thunderstorms was about alexa. alexa was a tv presenter) and now here's this song that is about simple, straightforward admittance of desire towards someone that doesnt exist. summed up in my og message to my mutuals, "hes singing to the amalgamation of his lovers an imaginary ideal to whom he can be simple and honest with in a way he can't quite bring himself to be in real life". i honestly feel like this gels well with the ultracheese's last two lines; a vague admission of guilt, of complicated feelings, vs capitulating to honesty and tiring of lying for the sake of pr ("i'm sure you've heard about enough"). + i find it interesting that golden trunks is that only tbhc song that has never been performed live

++ this idea of duplicity and lying has come up a lot in his discography but in tbhc specifically the bside anyways has the line "what a place for both the opposite sides / of my double life to finally collide"

and finally. the absolute funniest part of golden trunks.

Let me set the scene: sometime between Axl Rose getting braids (2002) and People Just Do Nothing jumping the shark (right now), those brothers in melodic yarns Turner and Kane, plus “another human being” – let’s call her “The Girl”, shall we, to save her poor mother’s heart condition? – are intertwined among the postcoital flotsam of an upmarket hotel room. “Hey, I’m glad you came,” Turner is alleged to have said, forever on the right side of etiquette and politeness in such matters. While Kane, in his sludgy Scouser lilt acknowledged, “Ah, thanks, man.” At which point Turner sat bolt upright in his sparkly gold briefs (unconfirmed) to stress who, in fact, his grateful aside was aimed at: “Not you, you wally. Her!”

sauces: - quotes curated by genius - la times - gq magazine / tumblr post

[angelplummie]

izuku loves girls wiv daddy issues

loves how eager to please you are. loves how easy it is to get you to do anything he wants with little to no effort. all he has to do is call you good girl or some stupid shit like that, and you’re whatever he wants you to be, which is mostly wet and stupid.

open your mouth, he says, and it opens for him. good girl, he says, and he can see the drool on your tongue.

maybe it’s fucked up, but he doesn’t really fully care. he’s giving you what you want isn’t he? he’s making you happy isn’t he? giving you the male attention that you so desperately crave. he’s never mean or neglectful or anything like your dad. he looks after you, so even if his morals are questionable, isn’t he in the right after all? it’s not his fault he benefits from your innate urge to do as your told, he’s the one helping you, not the other way around.

and he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy how pathetic a little positive reinforcement made you. like when you took all of him, and he said i’m proud of you, and you moaned like a whore. you’re so easy it would be almost funny if it didn’t turn him on so much. he loves how you look at him, like you love him, like he’s god. he loves desperate, needy hot girls, and so he loves you.

and nothing could compare to the first time the word he knew would come out of your mouth did for the first time. when he had you in his lap, you back to his broad, warm chest. A thick fingers in your hot wet cunt, the other hand holding you to him by your neck. You loved the feeling of his big hand squeezing your throat. you could feel your pulse pounding under his grasp. and he could feel your little pussy pound on his fingers when he whispered in your ear, telling you to ‘take it for me. take it for ‘zuku. wanna make me happy don’t you?”

and it was all to easy when he heard your horny little gasp, felt you claw at his thigh some more.

“yes daddy,” you whimpered. instantly your cheeks became red hot as you realised your blunder, and you started to scrabbled together some apology, explanation etc etc. but izuku wasn’t surprised. not in the slightest. he just chuckled, effectively cutting you off and making you even wetter with humiliation.

“alright, take it for daddy.”

and just like that, you’re his perfect little toy.

he really does like you though, don’t get him wrong. you’re cute and fun to talk to, even if you do laugh too hard at all his jokes, even if you constantly look to him for approval, or cling onto him in public. he likes you enough to be the daddy you always wanted, needed. he likes you enough to stay and let you call him your boyfriend and puts his other girls on standby for you. and maybe he is using you, but he doesnt look at it that way. you’re both getting something you need. he’s just smarter than you. he’s just playing a part, and you’re being authentic. he’s not being fake of course, he never lies about his interest in you.

if anything, you’re the liar.

he knows that it isn’t for him, not really, when you ask him about work, when you curl up in his lap and keep him warm. when you tell him i love you, looking up at him through those big, always watery eyes, or face buried in his big chest.

he knows it’s all meant for you. it’s all so you can feel love, by giving him everything he wants. he knows the clinginess is not for his benefit, it’s to satiate the burning, aching hole of loneliness, of lack of male love inside you. he knows that you don’t really love him, no matter what you tell him.

but when you love him this good, he can’t bring himself to care.

————————————————————————

masterlist

[lazulian-devil]

Are y'all ready for Book 3? No? Well, I dont care, do I now. You're already reading, its too late for you to leave now.

The Villains of Skulduggery Pleasant 3 - Batu

We arrive in the third book, The Faceless Ones, which seamlessly incorporates the consequences of everyones actions into even worse mayhem.

Following Vengous almost succesful attempt at opening the rift, a mysterious man named Batu (who is also the guy dealing with Sanguine at the end of Book 2 being all ominous) is behind the kidnapping (and murder, lest I forget) of all remaining Teleporters. Because he needs someone to teleport something through a portal in a different dimension.

(Tangent: Im sure Shunters didnt exist yet in Book 3. I feel like this should have been a Shunter thing and I can neither remember nor bother to find proof why the Anchor needs a Teleporter instead of a Shunter. In Book 8, Crayfon Signate quite literally does something similar with the Sceptre of the Ancients, looking for a Signature and then finding the correct dimension. Im pretty sure its about it all being a gateway instead of a direct transferal. If anyone knows, do tell.)

Alright, so. We have Batu/Paddy as our main villain and he is a brilliant and excellent one. But lets get the honorable mentions out of the way, so no villains feel ignored.

Our boy Billy-Ray Sanguine is of course part of Batus Squad, but so are the remains of the the Diablerie with Jaron Gallow, Murder Rose and Gruesome Krav. I honestly admit that I feel they are caricatures and the screentime they have is sufficient not to make them boring. They all die in the end anyways and its a shame that it reflects in the way they are so very one note and almost ridiculously "evil". On top of that, we also have a Seahag (in a lake. With corpses. I do love how dumb that is). Then theres Scapegrace and the second buildup for Thurid Guild.

I will be honest with you: Batu is an exceptional villain in terms of motivation, speech and arc. His surrounding villains are sadly one note caricatures, besides those that get to live into the next book (mainly Guild, Scapegrace and Sanguine). The others are often played for jokes or just to make a point on how cruel, wicked and horrendous the Diablerie and the worshippers of the Faceless Ones truly are. Which, yeah. Thats fair. But I always love myself some three dimensional side characters, so let me be a little sad.

Now, lets think about why Batu actually works:

Hes mortal. Evil, yes. But mortal. But he could have been magic. Technically, its his birthright.

And thats all, really. Its man grasping for something he could have never had and that he could have never been gifted. Its another case of fanaticism. Fruitless, sad and deadly.

Now, the SPU has a long history of ignoring of belittling mortals in the way that they are and who they are. This becomes more apparent in later books (the xenophobia/eugenics in Phase 2 for example) but its also pretty evident here:

Batu uses his mortality, his frailness and his visual weakness as a shield. If, for example, Batu was young and fit, it wouldnt quite work the same way. His age and behaviour is a smokescreen.

Funnily enough, he even points it out in his first interaction with Skulduggery and Valkyrie:

"Reach a certain age and suddenly, you're a nobody, suddenly you're not even worth counting." - Book 3, Chapter 13

That combined with his somewhat senile mannerisms, the whole old-man schtick is so very stereotypical. Because of course it is. Both readers and heroes alike are blinded by how much of a an old man™ Paddy really is.

Contrast this with Batus first appearance in Chapter 7 and 14. The way he speaks ist fundamentally different.

"You failed me, Mr Sanguine. I paid you to do a job and you failed me. [...] You will have a chance to redeem yourself."

Paddy doesnt hold power in conversation, hes a silly little man. Its on purpose, of course. Authenticity breeds trust and everyone can relate to an old cynical man, stuck in his ways. Batu on the other hand commands a room. Speaks with a high tongue, with precision. Short and accurate, no breath wasted. Naturally.

When you read the books and you are aware of the twist, there are a lot of things, behaviours and sentences that could make you raise an eyebrow. But our heroes dont have the time to question anything, so they dont. They willingly accept that this man owns the land with the rift, that he doesnt panic at the explanation of magic, that his questions are a little suspicious. Because then they would need to stop. And neither Skulduggery nor Valkyrie do such a thing. They are cocksure of themselves, remember? And Batu knows. Batu even bets on that, as all sorcerers he has met have been equally cocksure. And all his henchmen are too. He's playing all of them, simply because he knows how they work. He has weaseled his way into their homes, has fed their cats (s. Chapter 36), has seen their arrogance and sadly his cynicism proves right at every turn. He really is invisible to them. A mortal obstacle, to be dealt with to safe the world. Always the roadstop, never the destination.

In Chapter 20, Paddys reaction to magic is a smile, not fear. He knows magic exists. It entices him. The shock he displays is - of course - an act, but a very believable one. Sure, yeah, the old man doesnt mind anymore. Hes too old, he has seen too much. Magic might as well exist to him. And he was horribly stubborn this whole time, so it makes sense that he would have an equally spiteful response to magic.

We even come full circle: Paddy asks Valkyrie if she despises mortals for what they are.

"Someone who can run fast dismisses the people slower than he is. What if its someone who can run really fast? Then the slower people become little more than an annoyance, and then an irritation. Superiority breeds contempt." - Book 3, Chapter 20

(Quick sidenote: Its like he wants to be caught when you start looking for it? He himself is the one who runs fast. He himself sees the others as annoyance, as irritation. What a beautifully wretched thing to say.)

Essentially, Paddy is justifying himself here, but, again, reader and heroes are caught up in this very relevant question that plagues Valkyrie: Being detached from Humanity, from Family. Once again, Batu is using his understanding of the magical world against them. He is one step ahead. He recognises Valkyries youth and asks her specifically. Not Skulduggery, who would dismiss it. Her. Even further, he points out the massive flaws in the systems to her, as one of the first in the whole bookseries:

"So magic people view themselves as mages and everyone else as mortals. And that doesnt sound like a group of people elevating themselves to godhood to you?" [...] "... They have the power of gods, dont they? They have magic at their fingertips. Their affairs affect the world. [...] You hold the fate of the world in your hands. If thats not godlike, I dont know what is."

Now the avid reader might have noticed that once Paddy speaks about sorcerers and magic users, his whole old man™ act falls away. His speech becomes more like Batus, because he is Batu in this moment. He isnt acting here.

And why does no one recognise it? Because its a justified question. Again and again, Batus line of logic proves true: All sorcerers are playing god to an extend. A theme that will be picked up far more heavily between Book 7-9 and the entirety of Phase 2. So, as readers, its enticing to see someone challenge the presented Status Quo and as Valkyrie, this direct confrontation helps settle her own views as a growing Teenager into this magical world of god-pretenders. Batu fulfills both the role of a mentor and a villain, pointing out the straw that will break the camels back again and again and again in the following books.

He himself fights like a mortal: There are no fancy gadgets in the big fight. There are machine guns and grenades, painfully mortal weapons. Painful is literal in this sense. Batu chooses reliable weapons of war and not unpredictable gods. At least, in the beginning. There are also the Hollow Men, a whole artifical army of them. Which, broken down, is hilarious. The sorcerers, capable of destructive magic and definitely murder, are using the mortal weapons against the heroes. The army that is there to support them is one of magical stupidity, literal child friendly canon fodder. His army of magic men is one without mind, without question. And his Diablerie, despite actually having a brain, never question him either. They're all hollow men, one way or another. Some of them by power of creation and some of them simply because they are blinded by their own fanaticism, blinded by Batu and the true fight. So, he doesnt fight like a mortal at all. He fights like a mortal that knows the sorcerers. Using the best of both worlds, the most potent startegies each side has to offer. Additionally, there is also the implication of him commanding a massive army without even being there, which does underline his godlike aspirations as well.

Finally, when its revealed that he is indeed Batu, he declares himself "not a mindless drone" and "someone with a vision" (Chapter 36). But what is the root of all his evil?

"Magic." He said. "My father was a sorcerer. So was my brother. But not me. I just didnt have the spark, you know? But now, its finally my turn."

Batu feels robbed of godhood. And that is precisely why he is summoning gods to overtake the world. If he cant reach for divinity, everyone else who can needs to suffer for it.

[Val] "You're going to let a Faceless One take you over."

[Batu] "And then I'll be brimming with magic that ordinary sorcerers would never even dream about. They're not gods, Valkyrie. They're as pathetic as the people you left behind in your old life. But me? I'll be a true god."

But that isnt everything. Despite how much his mortality annoys him, he sees it as the one defining strength that seperates him from sorcerers. His mortality makes him powerful.

[...] "I was born without magic. Ive had to be strong. My will is iron. Im not going to be simply erased - not like the others."

His mortality makes him so powerful that he will rise above the mortals, above the godlike sorcerers and be able to Neon Genesis Evangelion Pilot his way through the world as a Faceless Ones vessel.

So now everyone can agree that Batu is another insane man in a series of insane villains, right? I dont need to spell that out. But before I go and give you a nice little ribbonbow for the ending, lets look at Batus death and how its described.

"Batu turned, spread his arms and raised his eyes to his god, and as it rushed to fill him, he screamed with terror and exultation. And then Batu was gone." - Chapter 42

The Faceless One described here is the one that is responsible for all the mayhem at the end of the book. Its by far the strongest from the bunch. So maybe some part of Batus willpower speech is true. But the written text makes it very clear that this is not the case. Batu is an excellent vessel for the strongest Faceless One. But nothing more than that.

Which is horribly ironic. The man that gained the trust of dozens of sorcerers, has perfected being a non-threat to anyone but believes himself to be worthy of the power of a literal god vanishes instantly. Just like everyone else.

But I love Batu as a villain. Waving all the weirdness aside. He is compelling because in the few moments that he is actually authentic, he is terrifying.

Not to mention he actually achieved what The Diablerie and Baron Vengous couldnt. He manipulated Skulduggery into revealing where the gate was. He used the ressources of the enemy to his own gain. The saddest thing about Batu is, that if he had put his mind to anything but godhood, he would have ascended anyway. He has all the ressources: smarts, wit, the ability to plan longterm, not to mention charisma and leadership skills.

He would have made a magnificent sorcerer. And thats just... incredibly compelling. Batu isnt strong with magic. He doesnt throw flames around, he isnt a walking skeleton. He is a cynical, old man that despises the hand he has been dealt and instead of accepting what is, he cuts from the world the pieces he thinks he deserves. And in this incredible determination blossoms a man that could have been anything. That had the skills, the mind, the speech to become something wonderful, something progressive, a change bringer.

Instead of recognising the talents he possesed, he focused merely on what he didnt have. Turned to evil, to spite. To bitterness and cynicism. He almost became the downfall of the entire world in his quest to prove that he was, indeed, as godlike as the rest of them.

9/10. Go Paddy.

Wanna read more of my breakdowns?

Here is Part 1: Nefarian Serpine and Part 2: Baron Vengous for you!

[puppydoggraham]

‼️dni unless you have extreme Hannibal Lecter brainrot/lh‼️

No one:

Me at any given second: WILL GRAHAM YOU SHOULD’VE RAN AWAY WITH HANNIBAL😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭HE LITERALLY TOLD YOU HE DIDNT NEED A SACRIFICE DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG THAT IS FOR HIM😭😭😭😭😭😭HE GENUINELY WANTED TO RUN AWAY WITH YOU AND ABIGAIL AND HAVE A LITTLE LIFE TOGETHER😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭WHICH IS NEW FOR HIM BECAUSE HE NEVER HAD THAT DESIRE BEFORE AND EVEN JUST ASKING MADE HIM VULNERABLE😭😭😭😭😭AND YOU TOOK THAT CHANCE FOR A DIFFERENT LIFE FROM HIM (SO HE HAD TO TAKE SOMETHING FROM WILL AKA ABIGAIL)😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭(BUT ALSO WHAT IF THE FACT THAT WILL DIDN’T RUN AWAY REPRESENTS THAT THESE TWO CANT HAVE A NORMAL LIFE OF SEMI CONVENTIONAL STANDARDS BECAUSE THAT WOULDN’T BE AUTHENTIC TO THEM AS PEOPLE LIKE EVEN IF THEY WANTED THAT ITS JUST UNREALISTIC FOR THEM)

I KNOW HANNIBAL WAS MANIPULATIVE BUT GODDAMN IT HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO BE ANY OTHER WAY😭😭😭😭😭😭I WONDER IF AFTER THE EVENTS OF MIZUMONO HE REGRETS MANIPULATING WILL😭😭😭😭😭BECAUSE ON ONE HAND THE MANIPULATION WAS ESSENTIAL FOR HIS BECOMING BUT ALSO MAYBE THINGS COULD’VE WENT DIFFERENTLY IF HE DIDNT YOU KNOW?! YOU KNOW?! WHEN HE STARTED MANIPULATING HIM THE STAKES WERE RELATIVELY LOW WHEN IT CAME TO HIS FEELINGS😭😭😭😭😭WAS IT DURING THE BETRAYAL WHEN HE REALIZED JUST HOW HIGH THE STAKES ACTUALLY WERE?! OR WAS IT THE LAST SUPPER CONVERSATION AND SO THAT’S WHY HE SUGGESTED THEY RUN AWAY TOGETHER?! AND EVEN THOUGH WILL WARNED HIM THAT JACK WAS COMING, HANNIBAL COULDN’T LEAVE. HE HAD TO SEE WILL A FINAL TIME BEFORE GOING AWAY. HE HAD TO NOT ONLY TELL HIM BUT SHOW HIM HOW BAD HE HURT HIM BY GUTTING HIM PHYSICALLY THE SAME WAY WILL GUTTED HIM EMOTIONALLY. EVEN WHEN HANNIBAL KNEW HOW IT WOULD END, HE STAYED BECAUSE HE COULDN’T GIVE UP THE IDEA OF THE LIFE HE WANTED WITH WILL (ALSO THE FACT HE RISKED DYING AT JACK’S HANDS JUST TO SEE WILL AGAIN). WILL BETRAYING HIM REINFORCED THE IDEA THAT SUCH A LIFE IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM. THE IDEA WAS A FLEDGLING ONE. IT HARDLY HAD ANY TIME TO GROW BEFORE IT WAS STOMPED ALREADY ON. DOOMED BY THE FUCKING NARRATIVE LETS BE HONEST HANNIBAL NEVER HAD A CHANCE. WILL WOULDNT HAVE RUN AWAY IN THOSE CONDITIONS BUT GODDAMN IT HANNIBAL WANTED HIM TO AND WASN’T WANTING IT ENOUGH?!

HANNIBAL DOESNT LET ANYONE SEE HIM. HE DOESNT LET ANYONE KNOW HIM. YET HE SHOWED HIMSELF TO WILL. HE LET WILL KNOW HIM. TO BE BETRAYED AND REJECTED WHEN HE FINALLY LET HIMSELF BE KNOWN OF COURSE HE IS ABSOLUTELY BROKEN BEYOND MEASURE. HE TRIED A DIFFERENT APPROACH DAMN IT HE TRIED. HE WAS WILLING TO LEAVE HIS LIFE BEHIND WITH WILL AT HIS SIDE. BUT WILL BETRAYED HIM. HE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO RETURN TO THE MEANS OF EXPRESSION SO USED TO HIM: VIOLENCE.

[rvieskie]

just finished reading tsats and… im sort of… apathetic? like yes i am glad that it exists, but do i think it is the best book ever? far from that. 

dont get me wrong, i love seeing affectionate canon solangelo, and SO many of my headcanons came true, like i feel like things that were already “fanon” just somehow magically became canon (still mad that will didnt get a gun tho) BUT HOLY SHIT PERSEPHONE AND WILL? DID I CALL THAT OR DID I CALL THAT? one of the best scenes in the book imo. and the percabeth parallels? i mean the whole book is kinda a percabeth parallel, but the whispered “i love you” when falling into tartarus? killed me.

but my main disappointment was that a lot of the narrative seemed a bit like it was just there for the sake of being there (piper… like the converstaion between her and nico was incredibly good and i love it, but it just doesnt feel authentic and a bit like it was shoehorned in) 

as for the tumblr debate about the characters being ooc, here’s my two cents: for will, i feel like the main problem is that we dont get enough of his character before this book to actually determine what is IN character for him. though i do agree that the writing for him was quite inconsistent at times, the entire book does feel like that a little, there are a lot of inconsistencies in the writing overall (not just writing style but the way the characters are written too). it felt like everything in his pov (memories, experiences, thoughts, insecurities) are all revolved around nico and not himself as a character almost like he didnt exist outside of nico (which, at a literary perspective, isnt wrong) but still. in an interview somewhere mark said that he didnt really know what to do with will, which explains a lot tbh. 

for nico, i think he was overall much more consistent of a character in this book,  and the things that a lot of people are talking about can just be chalked up to character growth/development. love how they talked about jason, but the reyna erasure sent me- *angry fangirl noises*

anyways, another thing is the unresolved plot points that they just seemed to gloss over (nyx’s children, will’s arc, damasen?) like we need some closure on these things??? but, all in all, i dont think anyone was really expecting this book to be totally groundbreaking either so i did enjoy it, but not the best work ever on the authors side.

[robo-milky]

Alright time to write again because my mind is on a brain rot streak regarding this Au-

So have these Epel x Cloche hc that came to mind 🫶🫶

1. Epel insists on standing to Cloche's left (??) since thats where her vision fades. He feels the need to be cautious and this way he can tell her whats going on her left side. For example if someone was running, he would hold her arm so that the person passes amd doesnt shove her on accident. (he forgets she can hear well)

2. He made special requests on being on the same team and starting point as her in events like Beanfest! He does not trust Ace and Deuce to take care of her after he has seen all their shenanigans.

3. Since epel has short hair too, he helps style Cloche's hair if she allows him to!

4. Once a savanaclaw claw freshman was yelling at Cloche for sitting in "his" spot in the gardens but Epel came running to the gardens and dealt with him. (lilia trained him after all i guess-) Jack says that it was as if Epel knew smth was wrong, grew Floyds long legs and ran to the gardens from the cafeteria. They still question how he knew. But dw, its just his parental senses that he got from looking after his little cousins.

5. He knows he can be overbearing and 2 or so weeks after the incident, he sat down and apologized to Cloche for being in her personal space these past weeks.

6. final one but in their freshman year, epel wished Cloche never left. It was innocent really and he knew he shouldnt be selfish but seeing what happened, he hates he ever thought that.

Also Cloche if you dont kiss Epel rn, i swear ill take him.

AHHHH THESE HEADCANONS ARE GREAT— They might as well be canon tbh jdjdjdj- You are not just feeding, but also the spokesperson/advocate for ClochEpel I swear 😭 (…I’m afraid you might have to take Epel for yourself )

To build more on SY!ClochEpel, I can’t help but feel like Epel at times might question the authenticity of his relationship with Cloche after the incident. I imagine Epel having to adjust to Cloche suddenly being so receptive and willing to stick with him, even going out of her way to call for him at times. Epel’s so used to OG!Cloche’ indifference, that he feels like it’s too good to be true. It makes me wonder if Epel likes SY!Cloche for who she is, or if he misses the old Cloche, the one he looked up to and fell for. A part of me can see Epel liking the reception; he’s finally someone Cloche trusts enough to rely on, yet I can also see Epel having some complex where he might prioritize the previous Cloche’ personality/feelings.

[Response]

1. Yes! Epel would be glued to Cloche’ left side, even when Grim’s already there, either walking beside Cloche or perched on her shoulder. Since they’re pretty close in height, Epel’s sight is definitely more helpful/accurate to Cloche’s perspective, even if it’s a minute detail. I find the idea of Epel forgetting hearing is a thing absolutely great— since her hearing is technically enhanced because of Binding Bells (and because she’s technically a beastman).

2. Awww, that makes sense! I can see Crowley finding Epel’s requests endearing, dubbing it as Epel being “such a kind and caring student who’s willing to help the injured”. Of the different events there are, Beansfest would be a nightmare for Cloche. If it were purely shooting/throwing, Cloche could cope— but since she’s being chased in an open forest, she needs her peripheral vision. F for ADeuce, though. Epel would definitely feel iffy with the way Ace messes with her blindspot (flicking, playfully stealing). I can see Epel being a little more chill with Deuce, since they are closer and Deuce is generally reliable, but when Ace and Deuce are together? …Oh boy.

3. That would be too cute! Epel would be very careful, especially whenever his hands are near Cloche’ face/bangs. After the incident, Cloche feels uneasy whenever something or someone is close to her face, especially her eyes. If Cloche is having her hair done in Pomefiore, Epel better hide the scissors, since Cloche developed a fear of scissors (due to the correlation that led to trauma) and would be triggered by them.

4. The new freshmen of NRC do NOT know what’s coming for them. The satisfaction Epel would feel when he can finally pull out the respect-your-seniors card on the Savannaclaw freshman. …Lowkey, I feel like anyone showing aggression towards Cloche in this AU is hella brave.

5. HELP— Epel would have the most adorable puppy-dog expression without even realizing. I can imagine Epel giving a super impactful and heartfelt reflection while Cloche just nods with an “Okay.”

6. GODDAMMIT- THIS IS MAKING ME LOSE IT- Aughhhh it’s so bittersweet! Poor Epel, having to watch Cloche go into a downward spiral and feeling like it’s his fault in some way (even when it’s not ;;)

Extra: The HC from the other ask you sent of Epel carving a cat playing w/yarn has my heart ;;

[milkbreadtoast]

Your ouran thoughts are so *chef's kiss* thank you for pointing out the whole haruhi gender thing bc as a trans person myself it always rubbed me the wrong way too how it got treated

🥹🥹🥹THANK U FOR READING MY OURAN THOUGHTS... this is 1 of the first animes ive ever watched so its rly formative/influential for me and ive rewatched it several times over the yrs and noticed more things and watched my opinions of the show and charas grow and change... Haruhi is 1 of my first encounters(actually i think the first) w a nonbinary chara in media and I love everything about their chara and the way they were written (and I love the whole concept of them being the protag of a shoujo harem anime despite being nonbinary and very aro/ace... a host who woos girls at that)... I especially love the way she doesnt change herself for anyone, keeps being authentically herself the entire anime in a way that touches and changes the rest of the cast too... like 1 little detail that symbolizes this well is the personal pronouns they use in jp... Altho they tried using "ore" a few times causing tamaki to freak out (HE SHOULDVE LET HER😒).. the main personal pronoun they use is "jibun"(lit: self, oneself), and it's a gender neutral pronoun... and importantly, they consistently use "jibun", whether it's before becoming a host(in middle school, when passing/being seen as a "girl"), as a host(while passing/being seen as a "boy"), and just out in daily life... Just as she doesnt change herself or act differently in all those contexts, and is just authentically herself, regardless of how people see her... and consistent with her belief that gender and outward appearance doesn't matter, it's one's personality/who they are underneath that does...

Haruhi and Tamaki form strong narrative parallels to each other because they both suddenly came into the lives of all the other host club members, were able to see them for who they really are (and not just the facade they put on for others), and just by being their genuine selves, touch and impact them deeply, even alter the course of their lives (some more than others, like tamaki for kyouya and haruhi being the first 1 to be able to differentiate the twins)..... And this is why I think it's... unfortunate that Tamaki was written the way he was, as so close-minded in his views on gender(and sexuality), bc 1 of the core traits of his character is being otherwise open minded and extremely empathetic... the dichotomy of his chara is despite being a "vain idiot" obsessed w looks and himself, he still shows this surprising depth and ability to read others... And of course I don't think it's surprising at all for him to have these transphobic and homophobic views, given he's a teen with a rich sheltered upbringing and all, so it was prob just. Sigh. ingrained in him bc thats how he was raised but.... narratively, with the way his character is otherwise so open (and bro is literally bi too😭) it really is unfortunate... Like his openmindedness is 1 of the strongpoints of his character (like how he wasn't put off at all when he saw Kyouya's "true face"...) And I think it goes against his nature, so I hope that once he gets older he starts to listen to the trans/nb/gnc ppl in his life and change his views... LIKE HARUHI... WHICH IS WHY ITS SO STRANGE. That he never once listens to them abt their gender the entire series... and he cares abt her sm YET doesnt listen and repeatedly, stubbornly tells her shes wrong and that she needs to be more feminine.... ugh. Yeah it's painful... And then with the way the manga ends with haruhi marrying tamaki and having babies and growing her hair out and becoming more feminine, as if it was all just a phase... *Agonized* ...Tbh I really do think. That this is the product of the (presumably cis) author not knowing enough abt the trans(/queer/lgbt) experience to know what to do with the amazing, nonconforming characters they created... I really do feel like if Ouran was an anime made today, and the author was more informed about LGBT issues and experiences, Tamaki could've been written differently and maybe more accepting and open toward's Haruhi's views on gender... Sigh... Anyway rip. Tfw a work so virulently transphobic and homophobic and a product of its time can also have some of the most compelling trans and gay characters and have sm poignant scenes that stand the test of time... Ouran my problematic beloved 🥲🥹

[demadogs]

(disclaimer i havent seen or read rwrb) heartstopper is a bit cringe but tbh i love it bc of that… i’ll never love wtvr nick n charlies ship name is the way i love byler but the show itself makes me so happy in a way st (usually) doesnt. maybe thats bc i havent been exposed to enough queer tv so i just love it wherever i see it but as a queer teen in a mega conservative us state it feels so hopeful/joyful esp compared to all the trauma will goes thru in st bc of his queerness (or wtvr various homophobic things happened in young royals i didnt watch the whole thing)

not that i dont love st (my blog is byler themed lol) but thats my unasked-for defense of cringe gay tv/movies. overall i just want MORE queer tv shows whether theyre cringe n saccharine or ultra serious n depressing :) would love to hear ur thoughts if u want to share or u can let this marinate in ur inbox or delete it w/o reading. peace and love !

and im so glad it brings other people joy!! when i say my own opinions that is not me saying the show/movie is objectively bad. i totally see the appeal of a happy gay show like heartstopper, i personally just prefer things that arent lighthearted and romcommy feeling. like my favorite genres are scifi, horror/thriller, and murder. i like deep and dark shit thats not always boiled down just to a ship.

and also i wanna make it clear that when i say “serious tone” that does NOT equate to depressing!!!!!!!! i am NOT saying i dont like happy endings. it just means i want it treated in more of a real way and not romcommy. i dont like the cutsey stuff like the doodles in heartstopper and how they filmed the phone calls in the first bit of rwrb (i know you havent seen it but just trust me). for me personally things like that just completely take me out of the movie like i just want to watch it authentically like it would have happened irl and thats how more dramatic and serious toned shows/movies are always shot.

i also tend to like my gay fiction to be within a much huger story. a good example of this is the show, the wilds. that show is about a severly fucked up social experiment involving 8 girls and a staged plane crash that leaves them stranded on an isolated island and two of the girls end up together. i LOVED how they wrote that. amazing show highly recommend. this is also one of the reasons i love byler. its a part of a much bigger story and its treated seriously while still being cute and beautiful. plus im 10000% sure itll have a happy ending so again, serious in tone does noooot mean depressing.

thanks for being respectful in this ask and not just trying to change my mind or act like im not allowing anybody else to enjoy what i dont enjoy. and i will say since you do love heartstopper, youd probably love rw&rb and i highly recommend it! and if you want a list of more queer fiction recs i can def give you that (but obviously mine will be less lighthearted than heartstopper).

[blueopinions49]

Sasuke Uchiha Enneagram.

Sooo Sasuke Uchiha..

He is one of those characters who's enneagram I just can't crack and even when I think ive felt satisfied with an answer It usually doesnt last long enough until I wonder whats his core desire. So why not pose each type I think he could be and hear some of your guys opinions. 

sp 3w4 (Attachment+Competency) 

This is my original typing of him since to me in early seasons his goal seemed to rise above the ranks and become a superior shinonbi to bring honor and recreate the former success of the Uchiha clan. I didn't thought soc 3 suited him due to his lack of interest in external validation and status. While sp 3 seemed the more logical choice due to his interest in perfecting his skill set. 

sx 4w3 (Reactive+Withdrawn) 

Im not so sure about this type due to his uninterested in finding authenticity and depth. However ive seen it floating around so I just added it in case but I sort off see it but not really.I think most of it hinges on the sx subtype rather the type structure of E4, plus the line of “may look like E3 and E8s”. Also the E4 is hyper sentimental and so is this subtype. And tbh Sasuke is almost fully detached of his own sentimental side. Even tho he leads with Fi he is very clearly detached from his own emotions. the only argument ig I could see is integration towards 1 and I still think thats weak. 

sx 6w5 (Reactive+Attachment+Super Ego)

I saw this option on reddit and I low-key like it?. Sx6 is a reactive type and I think in shippuden we can see how Sasuke is more on the reactive side rather than withdrawn side. Due to him being a super ego type he is looking to do right and find justice. His arc started with doing right by his clan by killing Itachi and those plans eventually evolved to finding justice for his clan by destroying the Hidden Leaf. And I do think he craves the E6 core desire of not being alone and craving community and a place where he feels safe. His attachment type is between rejection or attachment I dont think frustration suits him at all. I think the attachment if E6 might suit him quite well too. 

sp 8w9 (Rejection+Reactive+Assertive)

This is another option ive seen going around and I dont see it that much tbh. I dont see the Lust of an E8 or the crave for autonomy and choice of life. Other than power for himself and some stereotypical E8 traits I dont see much. I could see assertive and maybe reactive triads on him but im not sure yet. 

Personal Ranking on accuracy 

sx 6w5

sp3

sp8

sx4 

Also Please Share your thoughts on this since im still very undecided.

[qqweebird]

i feel like im not cool enough to be a furry tbh, like i cant ever think of an animal i would like to be and also reflects my personality without feeling like im exaggerating the interestingness of my self. my fursona that ive had since i was a kid is a snow leopard but it feels too interesting of an animal, & it doesnt really fit me anymore like i thought it did when i was younger, but also i dont want to.. change it?? cus thats what i created as a kid and that makes it feel more authentic ??

[selfundiagnosed]

I hate having ocd so much why do i have be this way about stupid shit other people with ocd csnt relate to like my fixations on my clothing being certain colors textures shapes and cuts and i feel like nothing makes me feel as exhilarated and as sick knowing clothing out there is perfect and i dont have it like kg makes me want to cry and i own a llt of clothing that is perfect but when they like shrink in the wash or get stains i get so viscerally upset i meltdown for like hours lol its so pathetic and ridiculous i hate that its such superficial shit that makes me feel in control of my environment and what happens to me that other people with ocd do not experience or at least i cant talk about it with just anyone because the people with ocd who arent as immersed in the mental rituals more than the physical ones HATE seeing superficial ocd shit that doesnt resonate with them and i personally suspect its bc everyone with ocd doesnt actually rlly think they have it or like doesnt think they fit the criteria enough so when someone with ocd has the more idk how to put it like easier to romanticize i guess ocd (im verh color ritualistic and people see me as an “”aesthetic“” person which is obviously not something i am so dedicated to that it permeates my every being thats not normal but yes call it a dedicated aesthetic that doesnt have a name yet or some shit ) they get verh angry and defensive and think “i have more debilitating symptoms than you because your ocd is digestible” and i really relate and empathize even though im the person theyd think that about likely if i talked more about how my ocd effects me. I see people dog on these types of people with ocd all the time when i go to online forums and it just makes me feel like i dont have something i already didnt feel like it was a misdiagnosis for YEARS to the point where i ignored it and now im dealing with OCD PSYCHOSIS SUPPOSEDLY!!!!! anyway it just feels already a.) childish bc i have meltdowns BIG Time over b.) something stupid & superficial that realistically means NOTHING but i cant say that with my full chest! c.) a manic pixie manifestation of ocd that a majority of people with ocd do not deem authentic ocd havers and just attention seekers. Anyways i redyed my hair olive green again and added color sealant this time bc i dont bleach :3

[darkicedragon]

darkicedragon saga being bitten by the wolves. shes protected enough to not turn into a taken but shes also injured enough that she starts getting influenced, feeling weaker in daytime/lights, hearing more of the dark presence maybe some shadow powers too tor and odin can see shes changing azure >8D A SHADOWY WOLF lights flickering around her sometimes when light bothers her, she accidentally breaks it darkicedragon yessss. she Hears too much both in the shadows and in the light for different reasons maybe she hears alan writing his manuscript so she doesnt rely on finding the manuscripts around her but then starts getting confused which draft shes hearing and what one shes in azure she starts physically changing tooo which is weird bc her body feels like her body but it's not darkicedragon yeeeah. safe haven is no longer her safe haven. casey starting to look at her weirdly one time she runs out of bullets, she just drops her gun and tears the takens throat out w her own fangs or claws then gets pissed at alan again for trying to influence her own story azure OMGGG SHE'D BE SO PISSED "WHY YOU HAD TO MAKE ME HAIRY?!?! DO YOU KNOW HOW ITCHY IT IS?" "Get rid of the fleas. Now." darkicedragon if she does go full wolf, alan probably understands her anyway since hes the writer. and tor and odin can understand her bc theyre fam/not part of the story azure she gets speech because she'll strangle Alen otherwise "I can't give you speech! It wouldn't be authentic." "Make. It. Be." darkicedragon maybe the dark presence trying to break her further by turning her into a monster, but she still keeps her mind, even if her body changes

[steveharrington]

hope this doesnt come across as whiny or whatever but im starting to really hate the whole "realistically these characters would be racist/homophobic/etc" stuff cause i feel like its only ever brought up when people talk about taking comfort in certain characters or the show. and when people talk about robin and will, like "actually it's super unlikely all of the characters would be accepting" and like yea we get that but this show isnt even about that? and while yes they try to be as accurate as possible this isnt a 100% spitting image of small town USA in the 80s. idk i just feel like its always used to bring people down instead of an actual conversation. like i remember reading someone being like "um its unrealistic that robin is so sure she's a lesbian cause back in the 80s blah blah" like can you just let us have this. or "the metal scene was really homophobic back then so eddie wouldnt like robin or will" it just rubs me the wrong way. its not actually about being "authentic" or having a discussion its about knocking people down who are enjoying the show/characters and take comfort in it (mostly talking about the lgbtq aspect as im also white) like this show is about supernatural stuff, the characters and their growth is just the icing on the cake but some people talk about it like its the end-all be-all. idk i just had to bring it up

i definitely agree regarding homophobia. it isn’t my place to speak on racism in the show as a white person, and the discussions i’ve seen about how the racism towards lucas and erica is swept under the rug (esp wrt billy attacking lucas) are very valid. but i 100% agree that people trying to pull off these gotcha’s by being like “wellllll realistically steve wouldn’t have accepted robin 🤓” or “ummmm would jonathan really just not question that his brother is gay??” are 1. annoying and 2. wrong? i feel like these people genuinely think that everyone in the 80s who wasn’t gay themselves was just like violently homophobic and that’s so….ridiculous. gay people had friends and family members who accepted them in the 80s, there were advocates for gay rights who weren’t necessarily gay themselves in the 80s, and like in general the concept of being empathetic and open minded was not invented in fucking 2010 like these people seem to think. and when we’re talking about a show where monsters crawl out of a hole to another dimension and a little girl kills ‘em by putting out her hand and going AAAA!!! until they explode i feel like….idk we aren’t dedicated to realism! why should we be able to suspend our disbelief about everything except homophobia? we can have fun and follow our protagonists as they use DND to defeat monsters but not too much fun….don’t forget that there are people who hate you for existing!!! like yeah i’m good trust me i get enough of that listening to my dad am i right ladies!! and while yes there is obviously value in depicting and discussing the realities of homophobia, there is also value in having gay characters who are happy and feel accepted by their friends and siblings and parents. and i feel like stranger things is more suited for the latter