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#it feels like my whole world is crumbling around me and I just have to pretend everything is fine and carry on as usual
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Everything is so hard right now.
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sleepyhomosexual · 1 year
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lovebugism · 7 months
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could I request maybe shy!reader trying to play dnd with eddie but she's suuuuuuper nervous and confused and internally panicking about him not liking her anymore if she can't get into it?? Or if you wanna change it up please do!! love you!!
love you! hope you like it! — you get insecure about not liking d&d when a girl joins hellfire (shy!fem!r, hurt/comfort ish, established relationship, 1.4k)
The Hellfire room is void of the boyish bodies that usually fill it. The abandoned classroom, turned freak sanctuary, is now littered with pieces the rogues, clerics, and bards left behind — in half-empty soda cans and crumbled-up bags of potato chips.
While Eddie packs up his binder, filled to the brim with miscellaneous papers, you wander around the long table with a trashcan in hand. The wild-haired boy squints when you chuck Dustin’s crushed Pepsi in the bin. “You don’t have to do that, you know?”
“It’s okay,” you shrug. “I don’t mind.”
Eddie huffs through his nose, feeling too exhausted now to argue. He slides his binder into his bag and watches you rake Gareth’s chip crumbs into the trashcan. The urge to stop you becomes unignorable then. 
“Okay, well, you know what? I mind—” the boy retorts, striding the very short distance to you and snatching the bin from your grip. He smiles a crooked grin and continues in a fantastical accent. “—‘Cause the Dungeon Master’s queen shouldn’t have to clean up after a bunch of lowborns, alright?”
You roll your eyes with a subdued giggle. “Someone’s gotta do it, Eds,” you insist as you reach for the plastic container he took. You exhale sharply when he hides it further behind him, pulling it further out of your way. “I wanna be of some use around here!”
Eddie’s face twists. “Don’t say that.”
You cower beneath his stare. “Well… It’s not like I actually play or anything. I just kinda… sit around… And watch you guys do everything…”
“Well, why would you play?” he laughs. “You don’t even like D&D.”
Something in the way he says it makes you ache. You’ve always felt distantly horrible about it — failing to take interest in something he holds so close to his heart. Hearing him reiterate that fact twists the knife lodged in your chest.
“That doesn’t bother you?” you wonder, impossibly shy. “That I don’t play?”
Eddie shrugs and sits the bin down again. “Why would that bother me?” he scoffs.
“I don’t know… ‘Cause you like it. And it’s your favorite thing to do in the whole world.”
“Well… Maybe not my favorite thing,” he croons with a mischievous glint in his eye.
Your nose scrunches in disdain. His laughter fills the empty room as his ringed hands spread warm along your sides. “I just feel bad,” you confess, gaze averted to the scuffed tile beneath your feet. “You know, that I can’t get into or whatever.”
Eddie meets your subtle pout with an unbothered grin. “There’s nothing to feel bad about. People like different things, babe. That’s life,” he assures you, squeezing softly at your sides. “I mean, it’s no different than me hating The Smiths, right? I still let you play their cassettes in the van, and you still sit in on all my campaigns— and that, sweetheart, is the meaning of true love…”
Unswayed, you jerk softly back when he leans down to kiss you. You frown up at him with your arms crossed between your bodies. “But Rory loves D&D. And she’s super pretty…”
Aurora Edwards was the newest edition to the Hellfire gang. She goes by Rory for short, though, ‘cause she’s cool like that and everything. Her dyed blonde hair is as wild as Eddie’s, cut into a makeshift mullet that sits sort of shaggy on her head — intentionally messy in a way only she can pull off. 
She likes cool music and cool clothes and cool hobbies — because everything she does seems to have some sort of subverted flair to it. She’s smart and she’s nerdy and she’s beautiful. None of which seem fair. You’ve been stirring with feelings of inadequacy since you met her. 
And Eddie doesn’t seem to get any of it. His brows furrow at your words, like none of them have any sort of meaning to him.
“She’s way more your type than I am,” you blurt.
A laugh sputters from his plush mouth. “You think my love for you is contingent on some stupid game?” he chuckles.
The way he says it makes you shrink. You feel sort of stupid about it now. “I don’t know…”
“Well, then, I have done a very shit job of being your boyfriend.”
Your chest stings. “No, you haven’t, Eddie—”
“Mm,” he hums, half playful, as he tilts his pretty head to his shoulder. “I have, though. ‘Cause if you think some other girl liking Dungeons and Dragons is gonna make me love you any less, then I have done something horribly, horribly wrong.”
You bite back a smile at his words, pursing your lips to the side of your mouth until the beam becomes impossible to ignore.
“‘Cause you’re kinda stuck with me, turns out,” the boy continues. “Unfortunately for you.”
“Unfortunately?” you echo with a scoff.
“Yeah. ‘Cause if some other schmuck comes around who likes listening to The Smiths and sitting in the sunshine, he’s gonna have to go through me.”
You breathe sharply through your nose in place of a laugh. “I don’t want another guy, Eds…” you confess, going shy all over again.
His nose scrunches as he plays coy. “Even if he doesn’t smoke?” he wonders in a sheepish murmur.
“Even if he doesn’t smoke.”
“Good,” he beams, pulling you into him by your belt loops. His breath fans over your jaw in a minty-nicotine concoction as he ducks his face closer to yours. “‘Cause I don’t want anyone else, either, alright? Even if they are almost as good as me at D&D… Actually, it’s kinda a turn-off, now that I’m thinking about it…”
“Is it?”
“Yeah… ‘Cause, like, I love teaching you about it and everything.”
“Even when I have no idea what you’re talking about?”
“Especially when you have no idea what I’m talking about,” he laughs, smiling so hard his cheeks speckle pink. “‘Cause you know how much I like it, so… You let me talk all the shit I want.”
“’S just because you’re so pretty when you talk about things you like,” you confess.
His face twists. “Am I?”
“Well, you’re pretty all the time, but…”
“You flatter me,” he huffs and pulls you closer. He smirks and goes quieter when he says, “And flattery goes a long way with me.”
“Does it?” you hum with a sunshine-coated giggle.
Eddie doesn’t answer you with words. He just presses his lips to your mouth and hopes you get the gist. His tongue swipes against yours, soft and sudden, as he guides you towards the table. You run into a rogue chair before he can get you on top of it. It screeches against the linoleum tile. 
With his face in your hands, you giggle against his mouth. His denim-clad knee slips between your thighs.
The door squeaks softly open then. Rory enters, swift and unthinking. You and Eddie pull apart — one looking much more horrified than the other — as the blonde girl stands frozen in the doorway. Drowning in her sweatshirt and baggy jeans, she points a lanky finger towards the table.
“Sorry,” she apologizes, voice gritty and deep. “I just left my girlfriend’s jacket here, and she doesn’t know I stole it, so… She’d definitely kill me if I forgot it.”
“That’s okay. Come in,” Eddie shrugs with a tightlipped smile, nodding his head in a silent invitation. When Rory plucks the coat from the back of her chair, he says, “Tell Jess I said hi, yeah?”
The girl scoffs as she heads back towards the door again, leaving just as quickly as she came. “She still hates you, you know that, right?” she laughs. ‘Cause Jess was a cheerleader — pretty and sometimes kind, but dreadfully conservative. Her uptight nature often clashed with Eddie’s much more chaotic one. 
“Well, tell her to get in line,” Eddie chuckles.
Before Rory leaves the room, she glances at the two of you over her shoulder. She winks with an eye smudged with black liner. “Have fun, you two,” she croons in a pretty voice before shutting the door behind her.
You stand, still and silent in place, wringing your anxious hands into a knot. Feeling like a total idiot, you refuse to meet Eddie’s gaze. You know he’s got a smug look on his face. You can hear the smirk in his voice when he says, “See? Not my type at all.”
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oddinary4bts · 2 months
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Chasing Cars | ch 11 (jjk)
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☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter contains mature content)
☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff
☆warnings: cursing, alcohol, minor character ghosting everyone, cheating?, explicit content: a spicy videocall, mutual masturbation?, fingering/jerking off, sex toy (vibrator)
☆word count: 8.4k
☆a/n: this one hurts, but I hope you'll still love it :') thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing, you're the best <3
☆series masterpost
☆add yourself to the taglist here!
☆☆☆☆☆
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
☆☆☆☆☆
Tuesday, April 30th 
You’ve been lost in thought for hours - every hour feels like a whole day, and you can’t focus on what Ria is saying right now. She went off while speaking about Seokjin, but all you’re able to do is look out the vitrine of the café where you’re sitting along with Nabi. It’s raining - you think it’s fitting now that Jungkook is gone.
He’s texted you throughout the day, more than he usually does. It’s been reassuring, yet you feel like there is finality in the world today, in the way raindrops chase each other on the glass of the vitrine like you used to chase cars around Jungkook’s head. You haven’t replied to his last text message, haven’t even opened it yet.
You don’t dare to when you’re sitting with your friends.
“Are you even listening?” Ria’s annoyed voice cuts through your thoughts, and you startle, looking at her.
“Sorry, what were you saying?”
She groans loudly, and then says, “What do you think about Seokjin?”
You widen your gaze, holding in a smile. “Why do you want to know?”
“He’s annoying, right?” she says.
“Is that why you’ve been spending all of your free time with him?” Nabi interjects, earning a glare from Ria.
“I have not.”
“You certainly have,” Nabi insists. “Both you and Y/n have been MIA to study sesh during the finals because you were with your boyfriends.”
Your heart drops to your stomach, your throat drying. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Nabi and Ria both throw you a no-bullshit look, but Ria loses it first, saying, “And I’m not dating Seokjin.”
“Where were you yesterday?” Nabi asks.
The prolonged silence is revealing, and you burst out laughing at the same time as Nabi.
“It doesn’t mean anything!” Ria says.
You pick up your smoothie, taking a long sip from it as Nabi says, “Obviously not. That’s why you have a hickey on your neck.”
You choke on your sip as Ria blushes, yet in pure Ria fashion, she wiggles her eyebrows. “What about it? At least I’m not fucking my brother’s best friend and lying about it even though everyone in the world literally knows.”
You put down your drink, gaze widening. “That was low.”
“Deserved though,” Ria insists, folding her arms on her chest.
There’s no animosity to the way she is speaking. Just amusement, and a teasing undertone that strikes a nerve now that he’s in Paris and the future of your relationship is so uncertain.
“For what?” you let out, looking towards Nabi for help. She pretends she isn’t listening, looking down at her empty latté mug, but you see on her face how she’s waiting for you to say something. “Tae wouldn’t let it happen.”
“Tae was gone for the semester,” Ria points out. “And you spent a lot of time with Jungkook, and he always drove you home and shit. We know, babes, I don’t know why you try to pretend it wasn’t happening.”
“You’re just trying to get the conversation away from you and Seokjin!”
It’s a weak comeback, but it’s all you can do.
“For real, even though I might be sleeping with Jin,” Ria says, introducing a nickname you’ve never heard her say before, “I’m not into him for more than that. But you and Jungkook…”
You feel like throwing your smoothie at her, but you choose peace and remain silent.
“So you are fucking Seokjin,” Nabi chimes in, throwing you a lifeline you immediately grasp on.
Ria shrugs. “So what if I am?” she asks. “It’s just sex.”
You think about Seokjin, about the forlorn look in his eyes whenever you’re out in public, and she flirts with other people. You highly doubt it’s just sex for him, but he’s too respectful to tell Ria, isn’t he?
“Is it though?” you say.
Ria nods forcefully. “At least to me it is. If it’s not the case for him then that sounds like his problem, not mine.”
You wince in time with Nabi, and she says, “That’s mean, Ri.”
She throws her hands up in defence. “What do you want me to say? I don’t like him like that.”
That’s fair enough. You can’t force a heart to love, like you’d realized last November with Hoseok. 
No matter how much you’d tried to love him, you’d never even had butterflies with him. Maybe even then you knew that true love wasn’t to be found with Hoseok, but with Jungkook instead…
“He’s great though,” Nabi says. “He’s got a solid research grant.”
“I’m not a nerd like you guys. I don’t care about his research grant”
You snort. “You so are a nerd. You like anime.”
“Anime isn’t for nerds,” she insists. Which, you totally agree with the statement. You’ve watched a couple of them with Jungkook, and you found each and every one of them fun to watch.
But Ria doesn’t need to know that.
“Yeah yeah,” you say. “Keep telling that to yourself.”
She glares at you, but Nabi intervenes with, “Why wouldn’t you care about the grant? It’s really good for him.”
Ria shrugs, falling serious. “Because I don’t care about him like that. He’s just a good fuck.”
Ria’s always been like this. Ever since you’ve met her, she’s always been the type to sleep around, and you’ve always encouraged her for it, as it was helping her get over the fact that she was cheated on. Yet right now you feel bad for Seokjin - maybe because you know he’s into her, and you wish for her the happiness you’ve been experiencing with Jungkook.
Happiness that is now on hold, possibly never to resume.
“Fair enough,” you say, and you grab your smoothie to finish it, taking two long sips.
“What about you and Jungkook?” Ria then asks, and she smirks victoriously.
You put the empty smoothie glass away, sighing deeply. “Honestly right now there’s nothing to tell.”
“Did you fuck him?”
You purse your lips, shrugging. “Why do you want to know?”
“Because it’s so obvious!” Ria says. “Your hair sometimes smells like cologne, and you can’t tell me it’s someone other than him. You would have told us if you were seeing someone else.”
“Not that I want to stir shit but…” Nabi trails off. “She’s got a point.”
“Leave me alone,” you grumble, though you don’t see the point in hiding it anymore.
It’s not like they might say something in front of Jungkook’s friends, who would then tell Taehyung. You’re planning to tell Taehyung the second he lands and crosses the threshold of your shared apartment after all.
“You’re blushing,” Ria teases.
“Because you’re putting me on the spot!” you say, shaking your head. “Leave me alone.”
“Oh no.” Ria’s face falls, and her mouth hangs open for a few seconds as her eyes go round. “Oh no, babes.”
“What?” you let out, sounding grumpier than you feel.
No, you just feel apprehensive as her whole demeanour changes.
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
It falls like a hydrogen bomb, leaving nothing but dust behind. And you can’t answer. All you have to offer is a blink, and the sound of your heart shattering in the distance.
“Oh no,” Nabi cuts in. “Y/n, you know his reputation…”
“We’ve been together since Valentine’s Day,” you quickly say, only so that they stop before making you feel bad. You’ve gone down that road before, and you’ve long come back from it. “Or as together as we can be considering Tae.”
“Bitch you what?” Ria shrieks. “That’s insane. You were letting me go on and on about him while you were with him?”
“Wait, you’re with him like boyfriend-girlfriend?” Nabi asks before you can reply to Ria.
“I knew he wouldn’t get with you,” you say to Ria, and then you glance at Nabi. “And no, we’ve never really talked about it, or referred to it as boyfriend-girlfriend.”
“So, it’s a situationship then?” Ria asks.
Though the words pain you grandly, they ring true. Far too true for it to be comfortable. “I guess so. But… I know the feelings are reciprocated.”
You sound delusional, even to your own ears. Maybe because he’s on an entire other continent - out of sight, out of mind. But you saw his soft gaze whenever he looks at you. You were there when he kissed you by the door before leaving yesterday. 
I promise I’ll come back to you and make it work, he’d whispered.
And fuck, all you want to do is believe him, believe that there’s a way you truly can make it work.  
“I hope you’re right,” Nabi says, though she sounds infinitely doubtful.
You don’t blame her. They don’t truly know Jungkook - not like you do.
“Wait…” Ria repeats, though this time she continues with, “That means you were together with him when you went to New York.”
The extravagance of the luxurious condo where he’d grown up flashes before your eyes as you nod once. “Yeah.”
“Bitch!” Ria lets out. “I knew it! I can’t believe you pretended you guys were just friends then.”
Unable to stay silent anymore, you retell your relationship to your friends. You tell them everything - how it started, how it entirely changed in New York, what he’d whispered right before he’d left. You tell them everything, not mentioning the fact that Jungkook is rich, feeling like that isn’t your story to tell. 
You feel lighter after. Like finally being able to tell people has taken a weight off your shoulders. You reckon, you might start flying when Taehyung knows. When you don’t have to hide it from anyone anymore - you’ll be weightless, like a cloud in the sky up above.
It’s with that in mind that you head home for dinner, Nabi having something planned with Namjoon and Ria having to head to work. You check your phone as you walk home, safely hidden underneath your red umbrella.
[4:14 pm] JK: any chance we can facetime tonight?
It’s almost an hour later, yet Jungkook’s text makes butterflies flutter in your stomach, and you smile down at your phone as you reply with,
[5:07 pm] You: i’ll be home in 10 min, you still up?
Jungkook’s answer comes almost half an hour later when you’re trying to cook some noodles the same way that he showed you - a lot spicier than what you can handle, but spicy makes you think of him, so spicy it is.
[5:33 pm] JK: i’ll call you in two
You assume he needs to find a place to hide so that your brother doesn’t hear, and you apprehensively - in a good way obviously - wait for him to call as you gauge the amount of gochujang to put in your noodles. He ends up calling five minutes later, and you immediately answer, a bright smile on your lips.
Jungkook is smiling just as brightly when he comes into view, his eyes sparkling at the sight of you. He looks a little dazed, like maybe he’s had something to drink, but he still looks just as beautiful as he always has.
Even a phone camera cannot dim Jeon Jungkook’s beauty. 
His eyebrow piercing glints in the soft light on his side of the line, where he’s sitting outside. He toys at his lip piercings, glancing away from his phone for a few seconds before setting his gaze back on you.
“Hey peach,” he greets you.
Your heart is warm, gentle, when you reply, “Hey Kook.”
He notices you’re in the kitchen as you stir the noodles, and his gaze widens just a little as he says, “Are you cooking?” You flip the camera to show him your creation, and he nods approvingly. “You’re getting good at this,” he praises, and a light blush covers your cheeks.
“Only because I had the best teacher,” you say as you flip the camera back towards you.
He chuckles. “The best indeed.” There’s a pause as he glances around again, seemingly making sure that no one can hear, and then he asks, “What were you up to today?”
“I went to a café with Ria and Nabi,” you admit. Your cheeks burn even more, and you avert your gaze.
“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks, immediately noticing your unease.
“I might have told them about us,” you reveal, and you worry at your bottom lip.
You think he’ll be mad, upset, but instead he laughs, a clear sound that makes your heart flutter in your chest. “You’re adorable. I can’t wait to tell my friends either.”
“As soon as you come back,” you promise. “We’ll tell Tae the second he walks into the apartment.”
Jungkook nods vehemently. “I’m not waiting a second longer,” he agrees. “And if he’s pissed, we can just run into the sunset together.”
That makes you laugh, and Jungkook watches you, his eyes sparkling with amusement and what you want to believe is love.
“He will be pissed,” you warn him. “But we’ll figure it out.”
“We will.”
You fall silent as voices are heard on the other side of the line. They’re speaking French, so you can’t really tell what they’re saying, and you wait as Jungkook watches them walking by before focusing his eyes on you again. 
“Where are you?” you ask him.
“Just in a park outside of the Airbnb,” he replies. “Thought it might be better to call you while outside.”
“Good call.” You move the pot in which you’re cooking your noodles away from the heat on the stove, turning it off. “What did you do today?”
Jungkook tells you about his day as you pour your noodles in a bowl, and then sit at the table to eat. It’s too hot for the first few minutes, so you just listen as Jungkook tells you about his overnight flight, and about the struggle to find the Airbnb. He admits he napped for three hours straight when they finally got there, and that they went out for dinner after, coming home around the time he texted you earlier to Facetime.
The first bite of your noodles reveals that you might have made them a little too spicy, but under Jungkook’s watchful gaze, you make sure to eat everything, dousing the spice with the Yakult you’ve bought because Jungkook likes to mix it with soju.
“You know,” Jungkook says as you finish eating, your cheeks red with the spice. “I wish you were here with us. Seeing Sera and Jimin, and Ariane and Tae…” he trails off, offering you a sad smile. “I really wish you were here, peach.”
Your heart squeezes in your chest, and you offer him a small smile. “I really wish I was with you, too.”
A beat of silence passes, while you get lost in his gaze and he gets lost in yours. He furrows his brows a moment later, and he says, “Tae texted me to come back.”
“Oops,” you let out, and he chuckles softly.
“I don’t want to hang up though,” he says, and he pouts in that cute way of his.
“Keep me in your pocket then,” you challenge. “I’ll be mute as a rock.”
He cocks an eyebrow as he laughs. “I’ll turn off my volume just to be sure. I’ll try to hide in the bathroom or something.”
You approve of his plan, and a second later your screen goes dark as Jungkook does indeed hide you in his pocket. You move to your bedroom as you wait, and you hear noises coming from his side, though most of it is muffled by the fabric.
It takes almost ten minutes, but Jungkook pulls you out in a blindingly bright bathroom, the fan loud enough to hide your speaking.
“I’m back,” he says.
You chuckle. “Obviously.”
He narrows his gaze, and then scans your features. “You’re so pretty.”
The compliment takes you by surprise, and your cheeks turn red as you let out, “Oh.” You gulp, and then add, “Thank you.”
“And you might think I’m insane but, fuck, am I crazy for wanting you right now?”
Your blush deepens as you watch his gaze go from sparkly to lustful as he pulls on his piercings.
“Right now?” you repeat, feeling a little breathless all of a sudden.
He nods. “Yeah. I already miss how you feel when I’m balls deep inside of you.”
You roll your eyes, the redness lingering on your cheeks. “We had sex yesterday morning,” you remind him.
“Yeah, and?”
He’s insufferable. He’s insufferable and adorable and, if everything goes well, this man might be yours in a week.
It sets your nerves alight with reciprocated desire, and you bite at your lower lip. “Nothing,” you innocently say. “I’d definitely suck your dick right now though.”
His gaze hardens almost imperceptibly. “Peach.”
You smirk. “What?”
“Anything else you’d do?” he asks, and he shifts where he’s sitting.
“Mmh.” You pause, let the suspense linger. “Maybe I’d tie you up. You’re always trying to control everything, maybe you deserve to be put back into your place.”
“Shit.” You know your bold words had their effect on him when he shifts again, sucking on his piercings harder. He runs a hand through his hair, and then he says, “I’ll fuck you so hard when I come back, peach. I want to hear you screaming my name.”
“So loud Tae hears?” you tease.
He has the decency to look slightly embarrassed, yet you know him enough to know it probably just turns him on more. 
“Definitely,” he says. He inhales sharply, leaning back against the wall. “I’ll fill you up until you’re dripping with my cum.”
You’ve never had sex without a condom, but you remember that first night when he’d fingered you with his cum…
You’ve always been insane for him, haven’t you? 
You clench your thighs together, seeking friction, as you notice Jungkook moving to touch himself too. 
“You will?” you say, breathless.
He nods, and then he curses under his breath. “Now I’m hard for you.”
“Yeah?” you let out. “Show me.”
His eyes darken even more, and he chuckles lowly. “I don’t do nudes, peach.”
It surprises you so much that you lose your arousal for a few seconds, up until Jungkook grunts.
“Well, you’ll do it for me, mmh?” you tease, a smirk adorning your lips.
“You’d like that, huh?”
You would. A lot more than you should - you’ve never been big on nudes either. But… phone sex isn’t exactly nudes, is it?
“I would,” you say after a few seconds of debating if you should or should not do it. “I want to see you, Kook.”
The nickname undoes him. Jungkook sucks on his piercings, and then he moves, his camera blurring. You know he’s taken his pants off when he comes back on screen, his eyes swirling with lust for you.
“Why don’t you show me yourself first?” he asks.
You don’t even hesitate. You’re in bed after all, and ridding yourself of your clothes only takes about thirty seconds, as Jungkook listens to the rustle of the fabric.
You grab your phone when you’re fully naked, making sure that he can’t see anything yet.
“What do you want to see?” you ask, and you only then realize that Jungkook is shirtless, and from the motion in his bicep, he’s clearly jerking off.
You turn molten, liquid lava, like you’re the magma under the tectonic plates. 
“All of you,” he purrs. “I want to see all of you, peach.”
You oblige, propping your phone against a pillow as you lie against another pillow. Jungkook immediately moves his camera so that you can see how he’s stroking himself, and you let out a breathy sound as your hand slides between your legs, pressing lazy circles on your clit. Jungkook watches you hungrily, cursing under his breath.
“Fuck, I wish I could touch you right now,” he says, voice low and husky.
“I wish you could,” you echo.
He picks up his pace on his dick, wrist twisting when he’s close to the top, grip tight like you know he likes it. It’s sinfully beautiful, arousing, and your circles grow faster, quicker, desperate as you seek the pleasure only he can provide.
“Don’t be shy,” he says after a few seconds. “Use your vibrator.”
You don’t need to be told twice, and the second the toy is vibrating and buried inside you, you let out a low-clipped moan.
“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Jungkook says. “With your tattoo and just… fuck.”
You just answer with a moan that sounds like his name, and he curses again.
“You make me such a mess,” he says. “A fucking mess for you, peach.”
“Yeah?” you breathlessly let out.
“Fuck yeah.”
Your pussy makes squelching sounds as you push the toy in and out of yourself, the buzz a background to the lustful actions you’re partaking in. Jungkook’s camera isn’t quite angled on his dick anymore, but you don’t even care.
Not when you’re aware he’s watching you, drinking every little sound you emit as pleasure rakes through your body. The thought is far too enticing, arousing, and your walls clench around the toy.
“Shit, I’ll come so quickly,” you admit, not even embarrassed about it.
“Do it, peach,” Jungkook says. “Fucking come for me.”
You don’t need more, the crude words pushing you over the edge. You still the motions of the toy inside of you as your walls pulse and pulse, yet you keep drawing circles - slow again - as you milk your orgasm out of you. Jungkook watches it all like he’s starved for you, and when you finally pull your toy out of yourself, he’s the one that groans, “Fuck peach, I think I’ll come too.”
You don’t even have to say anything. He immediately comes, white spurts of cum shooting from his dick. The white cum covers his hand, his tattoos, and you almost want to start again, the sight so devilish yet so beautiful to you.
“Fuck,” Jungkook says, grunting as he keeps milking his climax out of himself, his pace barely slowed down. 
Eventually, his dick stops twitching, and Jungkook stops, hand wrapped around the base. You eye the cum still dripping from his hand, rolling down the back of it.
It’s pornographic. Deadfully so, and you bite at your lower lip.
“That was hot,” you breathe.
“Yeah,” Jungkook breathes, and he puts his phone down, revealing the ceiling and the light fixture. “It really was.”
You assume he’s cleaning himself up, so you quickly do the same, heading to the bathroom. 
Jungkook comes back into view when you’re on your way back to your room, and you feel shy under his gaze. Not embarrassed, but what just happened makes your heart skip beats and your cheeks burn, in all the right ways.
“We should do this again,” Jungkook says when you’re lying in bed once more, your vibrator cleaned and put away in your night table.
You smirk mischievously. “Wouldn’t you like that?” you tease.
He laughs, and it makes you miss him so much your heart squeezes in your chest.
He’s only been gone for a day, and you’re already going insane. You’re lucky it’s just a week - in six days he’ll be back, and hopefully you’ll never have to be apart again.
“I would,” he says, and he offers you a lopsided grin that makes you want to hold onto him, forever.
You take a deep breath around the emotion as it swells up in your chest, in your soul. The smile you offer him is warm, filled with all the feelings that your heart hosts for him, and he immediately reciprocates.
“Can’t wait for you to be back,” you admit, voice small as if you’re afraid he’ll reject you.
You know he won’t - you’re creating that universe where it makes sense for you to be together after all.
“Soon, peach,” he promises. “And then I’ll annoy your ass until you don’t like me anymore.”’
As if that would be possible. 
“Good luck with that.” 
He chuckles softly, and it breaks into a yawn, reminding you that, even though he’s just on the other side of the screen, he’s in an entirely different timezone, and he’s likely still jet-lagged from his overnight flight.
“Tired?” you ask.
He nods. “I’ll go to bed as soon as we hang up,” he says. “We’re visiting the Louvres tomorrow.”
Your phone vibrates in your hand as a text comes in, but you can’t read the text at the top of your screen before it disappears. You switch to your messages app, brows furrowed.
“Where did you go?” Jungkook whines.
Your heart drops to your ass as you read the text once, twice, trying to make sense of it.
[6:07 pm] Yoongi: hobi left and blocked me
A second text comes in just a few seconds later.
[6:08 pm] Yoongi: he didn’t even say goodbye
You immediately switch to your conversation with Hoseok, and you ask him what’s up, but the text remains green despite the fact that the rest of the conversation is filled with blue bubbles. 
He’s blocked you too. And when you go to the group chat with all of your other friends, you notice he’s left it as well, and you’re blocked on social media too.
“Where are you?” Jungkook whines again, the pout in his voice evident.
You go back to Facetime. “I think I’ll have to go.”
He looks displeased, and he toys with his piercings, his tongue pushing into his cheek a second later. “Why?”
“Yoongi needs me,” you say. “And!” you quickly add before he can say anything. “It’s about Hobi.”
“What about Hobi?” Jungkook asks, and you hear the annoyance just as well as you see it etched on his features.
You usually find him adorable when he gets jealous, but right now you can’t even focus on that, your thoughts going to Yoongi, whose heart is likely shattering on and on at the moment.
“He left and blocked everyone,” you tell Jungkook. “So yeah, I think Yoongi’s going to need me tonight.”
Jungkook doesn’t like the explanation. It’s clear as spring water, yet he still says, “M’kay.”
“We can call again tomorrow?” you suggest, hoping that it’d reassure him.
Even though he doesn’t need reassurance - there’s no one else in your heart but him, and you hope he knows it.
“Sure,” he says.
It’s your turn to pout. “Please?”
At that he melts, his features softening. “Well if you ask so nicely…” 
That ends the conversation, and you quickly say goodbye, wishing him a good night. You take him in up until he hangs up the call, missing him the second that he’s gone. 
But you know Yoongi needs you, no matter how much you wish you could stay here with Jungkook. 
*****
Two hours later, you’re sitting on Yoongi’s bed, Namjoon on your left while Yoongi sits on the floor, his back against the bed. He’s drinking a beer, and you have an unopened one next to you. Condensation covers the bottle, yet you haven’t found it in you to drink yet.
Yoongi has been silent. You’d got there almost at the same time as Namjoon, and you’d been surprised to see him. Namjoon had just shrugged and said, “I’ve known him my whole life”, and that had been that.
It’s hard to cheer Yoongi up. Even harder after he told you that all Hoseok left behind was a letter of apologies. And you’ve read the letter - it broke your heart too, and you can’t even begin to imagine how Yoongi’s feeling.
In the letter, Hoseok explained why he decided to leave. You were right - he wanted to leave because of his relationship with Yoongi, seeking to flee from the reality of it, from the fact that Yoongi was his best friend, and that he felt like he’d lost that. It’s something you can understand - losing a friend is always hard, and sometimes the friendship is worth more than a relationship. At least it was to Hoseok. And though in the letter he claims that he’s enjoyed the last few months with Yoongi, his sudden absence, with no way to contact him, is proof enough that he didn’t really.
At least that’s what Yoongi’s been saying. 
Namjoon was shocked when Yoongi revealed his relationship with Hoseok. Even more so as he realized that you, out of everyone, were the only one who knew. Yet he’d taken it in stride, offering to have a beer with Yoongi.
“It’s fucking bullshit,” Yoongi says for what seems to be the hundredth time. 
You’d let him say it a thousand times more if that helped him feel better.
“You know what we should do?” Namjoon says from beside you.
You glance at him, before setting your gaze on the back of Yoongi’s head again.
“What?” Yoongi asks, looking over his shoulder.
“What about a rage room?”
Yoongi laughs an empty laugh. “No thank you. Though maybe it would help temporarily, I kind of just want to find a way to tell Hobi he’s a dick.”
You quickly found out that Hoseok has indeed blocked everyone from the friend group. As if cutting everyone out of his life was the only way he’d find solace in his new life. You think it’s a cowardly thing to do, and you’ve said so a couple of times already, to Yoongi’s delight.
“I don’t think that would bring you anywhere,” Namjoon carefully answers, the voice of reason itself.
You disagree, as you’ve always had more of an explosive personality, but you remain silent.
Yoongi glares at Namjoon. “It’d bring me a lot of satisfaction, thank you very much.”
Yoongi is funny. Behind all the cold exterior he has for people he doesn’t know, he’s got a funny persona you never thought was there. And you love it - he reminds you of you in some ways, and maybe that’s why you’ve gotten so close so easily.
“I personally think we should find out where he went and slash his tires,” you innocently say as you grab the beer bottle.
Namjoon narrows his gaze. “I doubt that’d be a good idea.”
“But fuck if it wouldn’t feel good,” Yoongi says, and he hands you the beer opener.
You open your beer, immediately bringing it to your lips as it foams and it threatens to spill. You drink as much of it as you can, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
“It would,” you echo. “But maybe we can resort to more peaceful options. I feel like Namjoonie here will go insane if we keep suggesting stuff like that.”
“He’s boring, isn’t he?” Yoongi says.
“Yeah, why did you invite him?”
Namjoon snorts. “You guys are aware that I’m right here?”
“Did someone say something?”
Yoongi tilts his head to the side, pursing his lips. “I’m not sure. Maybe the apartment is haunted.”
“It has to be,” you agree, nodding forcefully.
“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” Namjoon asks, and you burst out laughing in time with Yoongi.
You’re relieved to hear him laugh. You didn’t know what to expect when you’d suggested coming over, but it’s a relief that he isn’t that much of a mess.
But then again, you have a feeling Yoongi is the kind of person to put on a mask whenever he’s with people. And maybe that’s okay - maybe tonight you’re just a distraction to keep him from spiraling out of control. 
You don’t mind. 
“Nothing,” Yoongi says, sighing deeply. “Besides the fact that I’ve just been ghosted by my best friend.”
You wince at the harsh reality of his words, but Yoongi shrugs it off as Namjoon says, “It’ll get better.”
Another sigh moves through Yoongi, and he nods. “I know. It’s just going to suck for a while.”
You shift, sliding from his bed down to the floor so that you can sit next to him. “And that’s okay.”
He avoids your gaze as you look at his profile, and so you glance away, your eyes sliding to his record player. The record he put on when you arrived has done playing, and you’ve been sitting in silence for fifteen minutes, but it’s a comfortable silence.
Maybe because you speak when needed, and Yoongi and Namjoon have a calm aura to them that you find you appreciate far more than you’d expect. You’re used to Ria after all, and though you love her, she’s a tornado everywhere she goes.
“How are you and Nabi?” Yoongi asks all of a sudden.
Namjoon blushes, as the quick glance towards him tells you. “You sure you want to talk about that?”
Yoongi shrugs. “It’s not because I’m miserable that everyone has to be.”
“You’re not miserable,” you gently say.
Yoongi’s side eye makes you stifle a laugh. “Let me be miserable.” There’s a pause, and Yoongi eventually pushes up from his bed, sitting straighter so that he can turn and look at Namjoon. “So?”
“We’re good,” Namjoon finally replies. “I’m trying to take things slow because of…” he trails off as he looks at you. “But yeah, we’re good.”
“That’s great,” Yoongi says, and though it doesn’t sound sarcastic at all, he adds, “Genuinely. You deserve it man.”
You don’t know a lot about Namjoon’s previous relationship. Just the girl’s name - Julia - and you can’t help the curiosity that overtakes you. But you’re not a dick. Indeed, you hold your questions in, instead saying, “If you hurt her, you’re a dead man.”
He winces, laughing lightly. “Ria told me the exact same thing.”
“Because Nabi is too precious and she needs to be protected at all cost,” you vehemently say, half-joking. You follow up with, “But seriously, please do take things slowly, and always be honest to her. She’s had this massive crush on you, and I really don’t want her to get hurt.”
“I know,” Namjoon says, and he sighs, looking down the neck of his half-empty beer bottle. “I’ve had a crush on her too so…”
“You did?”
Yoongi laughs. “He so did. He kept mentioning her for months, saying that she was just a friend.”
“I mean, technically she was,” Namjoon says, trying to defend himself.
He’s blushing furiously now - it’s climbing up his neck and covering his whole face, and you think, that right here is what Nabi deserves.
“We always knew it wasn’t just that, though,” Yoongi says. “Clearly Julia knew too.”
Namjoon’s expression falls, and he sighs deeply. “Yeah. To be fair, she’s the one that decided to end things.”
You remain silent, taking a long sip of beer to refrain from saying something stupid, something that would silence Namjoon. You hate the taste of beer though, and you scrunch up your nose in disgust as you swallow. It goes unnoticed by both men, as Yoongi says, “Honestly, Julia was a bitch.”
“She had it rough growing up,” Namjoon replies, his voice drowning in what you think might be nostalgia, or regrets. “Hopefully she’ll get better from now on.”
“Having rough circumstances growing up doesn’t give someone an excuse to be a dick though,” Yoongi flatly says, not one to mince his words after all. “But yeah, hopefully she’ll get the help she clearly needs.”
Damn. You almost feel bad for the girl, but then again you don’t know her. Maybe Yoongi’s animosity towards her is deserved, and you don’t feel like questioning it.
No, you’d rather Namjoon forget about her and focus on Nabi instead.
“Whatever,” Namjoon lets out, shrugging his shoulders. “Even though everything with Nabi is recent, I feel a lot better with her than I ever felt with Julia.”
“Not hard to beat,” Yoongi grumbles underneath his breath, which earns him a slap behind the head from Namjoon.
“Hey, I get that you’re sad but don’t be a dick,” Namjoon sternly says.
Namjoon is a natural leader. You’ve seen it before, when he’d led your team from Frosh week to success. And you’ve seen it every time he’s TA’d a class, yet right now you realize he might be a leader in his friendships as well. Indeed, Yoongi folds, apologizing right away.
You end up spending the evening at Yoongi’s place. Your other friends join, and though the air around Seokjin and Ria is clearly tense, you end up having a blast. Even Yoongi seems to be enjoying himself, but when you notice him increasingly silent, you suggest heading home. He offers you a thankful gaze, and you guide everyone out of the apartment.
To your surprise, Yoongi hugs you goodbye, holding you close for a few seconds longer than you’d thought he’d be comfortable with. But then again, you reckon he might need it, so you hug him tight, letting him choose when to pull away.
“Thank you for tonight,” he whispers when he does, and his eyes glint with the silver on his waterline.
You offer him what you hope is a comforting smile. “Anytime, Yoongi. Just say the word and I’ll be here for you.”
“I’ll remember.”
You smile again, and then you wish him good night, walking out of the apartment last. Yoongi keeps the door open as you all walk down the stairs, and he shuts it when you’ve all disappeared from view. 
You send him a silent prayer to be gentle with himself, and you can only hope he hears it over the sound of his breaking heart.
Friday, May 3rd
You like your summer job. It’s chill, and you don’t have to start too early, so you always enjoy it. You’re an assistant at an optometry clinic, which means you do the pre-tests for the doctors, and since they don’t start before 10 am, you don’t either. 
What you don’t like is that one of the optometrists finishes at seven pm, which means you also do, and finishing at seven pm on a Friday evening should be a crime. It’s no wonder you’re slightly grumpy when you finally walk outside, waving goodbye to the optometrist.
At least she’s chill. She could be an asshole, but she got the team donuts today, and she even bought you lunch when you admitted you didn’t bring anything.
You walk to your car - the one you share with Taehyung - and you pull your phone out of your purse as you do so, eyes skimming over all the texts you’ve received.
You’re going out tonight, to a bar that Yoongi chose for its relatively chill ambiance, and you’re excited for it. Yoongi’s been MIA since you all hung out at his apartment, so you hope it’ll cheer him up, and you hope it’ll also help with pushing Jungkook out of your thoughts.
Not that you mind thinking about him - sometimes you believe him to be the president of the land of your mind. But he’s been texting you less and less every day, and you haven’t facetimed yesterday despite him saying he’d try.
You’ve been trying not to make a big deal out of it, but something about it feels off somehow. You reckon you’re probably just imagining things where none are, afraid as you are of the fragility of the relationship. 
But then again you’ve always trusted your gut feeling, and it’s never really failed you before.
You sigh, trying to ignore the foul taste in your mouth so that you can read the texts on your screen instead. Ria’s the one that texted you most recently, saying,
[6:46 pm] Ria: can we get ready at yours?  [6:47 pm] Ria: tho my mom’s happy I moved back in for the summer, she doesn’t want me to invite people over [7:06 pm] You: sure, heading home now
You reach your car, opening the door and throwing your purse on the passenger seat. A second later you’re sliding in, and you turn the keys in the engine. The car purrs to life, and soon enough, you’re on your way home, listening to the music on the radio.
Your mood brightens slightly when you reach home and see that there’s a spot on the street right in front of your apartment. You immediately grab it, even though you suck at parallel parking and it takes you three tries, and then you’re jumping out of the car, climbing the stairs to unlock the door.
You manage to take a shower before Ria shows up, a sour look on her features. You cock an eyebrow, letting her in. She breezes past you, not saying anything, and that more than anything else tells you that something’s wrong.
“What’s up?” you say as you carefully shut the door behind her.
She sighs loudly, extravagantly. “Jin isn’t coming tonight.”
You widen your gaze. “Oh?”
“He said he’s tired from work,” Ria says, and she folds her arms on his chest. “He sucks.”
You snort. “Why are you so worked up?”
“Because I know he’s lying!” She takes off her leather jacket, putting it away in the closet, and then she kicks off her shoes to strut into the kitchen. “Can I grab a glass of water?”
“Sure,” you say as you follow behind her. “Why do you think he’s lying?”
“He’s going on a date and doesn’t want to come to the bar after,” she admits, and the frown on her face tells you everything there is to know.
She is jealous, but she’ll never dare admit it. She’s way too proud for that, and though sometimes you know it protects her, you feel like it can be her demise all the same.
“Oof,” you only let out.
“Right?” She chugs the glass of water, putting it away in the sink. She leans back against the counter, folding her arms on her chest. “He’s just got out of a relationship, why would he get in another one?”
“I mean…” you trail off, shrugging. “Isn’t that what Namjoon did with Nabi?”
“That’s not the same,” Ria insists, shaking her head. 
It is, as a matter of fact, the same, but you refrain from saying so.
“He doesn’t even know the girl, she’s a blind date that his colleague is forcing him to go on,” Ria adds. “Why would he want to go?”
“Well…” you let out. “Maybe he just wants to throw himself out there again.”
Ria doesn’t like you saying that, and she offers you a scalding look that makes you snort again.
“You’re so mad,” you tease her.
“I’m not!”
“Do you like him?”
She makes a disgusted face, shaking her head. “No, of course not.”
“Then why does it matter if he’s going on a date?”
The answering silence is telling enough, and Ria clenches her jaw once, before pouring herself another glass of water. “I hate when you make sense.”
“Love you too,” you answer, and you walk to her as she’s got her back turned to you. You hug her from behind, saying, “We’ll have fun tonight, I promise.”
And you don’t know who you’re trying to convince. You or Ria. Because the dreadful feeling that sits in the pit of your stomach only intensifies as you get ready, putting your makeup on in the bathroom while Ria curls her hair with your curling iron.
You’re almost done, about to put your setting powder on when the music stops, and the unmistakable sound of the Facetime ringing fills the room. Your heart jumps to your throat, and you quickly put your brush down, grabbing your phone.
“Damn, who’s calling you?” Ria teases your reaction.
You frown as you see Taehyung’s picture from your contacts - you’d expected Jungkook. 
You pick up, and it takes a few seconds before it connects. Taehyung’s smiling face comes into view, and it takes you half a heartbeat to figure out he’s drunk.
Jimin is laughing in the background, and you hear Sera scolding him, though all you can see is Taehyung, and you think the shoulder beside him might belong to Ariane.
“Sis,” Taehyung greets you. “Not ignoring me anymore?”
“Hello!” Ariane says, and she comes into view, resting her head on Taehyung’s shoulder.
“Hi?” you answer, and Ria chimes in with a far more enthusiastic “Hello!”
“Y/n!” Jimin says in the background.
Taehyung turns his phone just enough for you to see Jimin, who’s waving like a madman.
They’re all drunk. That much is clear. What’s clearer is the absence of a certain Jeon Jungkook in the group, and you can’t help but wonder what he’s up to.
He hasn’t texted you since this morning after all.
“What’s up?” you ask.
“Just thought I’d check in with you,” Taehyung says, his speech slurred. “Anything fun planned tonight?”
“Going out with some friends,” you answer. “Nothing extravagant. What are you guys up to? Isn’t it crazy late in Paris?”
Taehyung frowns, focusing on something. “Just two am, not too bad.”
Right.
“What are you doing?” you ask, and you sit on the closed toilet, glancing once at Ria who seems fully focused on doing her hair.
“We’re just chilling while Jungkook finishes up with Gaby,” Taehyung says. “They fucking stole the bedroom.”
Ria’s head snaps towards you, as time slows and slows and slows, coming to a halt long enough for you to say, “What?”
“Yeah, you’ll never imagine,” Taehyung says. “Ari’s best friend here is JK’s ex from high school. She’s French but she grew up in New York.”
Chronology is interrupted - you think there might be a hiccup in the line of time. But then it starts again, far too quickly, and your blood fills with adrenaline, your heart picking up in your chest.
“Who?” you let out, sounding infinitely stupid.
But then again, maybe you’ve been a fool all along, since that very first kiss he’d claimed to be a fake Valentine’s Day kiss.
“Gaby,” Taehyung repeats. “Gabrielle. She’s pretty chill.”
Your heart aches in your chest. It burns like someone threw acid on it, and you feel it shrivel behind your ribs, slowly turning to dust.
“Oh.”
“What’s wrong?” Taehyung asks, and you wonder if you imagine the knowing look that passes on his face.
“Nothing,” you quickly reply, but you can’t breathe anymore.
It’s like there’s no more oxygen in the room, and you’re choking on the nitrogen, your mind spinning.
Taehyung gets up, and then everything is truly spinning. You think you hear Sera saying something that sounds like ‘Come on’, but then again you might be deaf.
All you hear is that sentence Taehyung said - We’re just chilling while Jungkook finishes up with Gaby.
When you were younger, you’d always believed your heart to be invincible. You’d felt invincible, like maybe you were meant to conquer all mountains. 
Tonight, you realize you’ve never been invincible - you just never cared enough about anything to thoroughly break, your heart shred beyond recognition.
Taehyung is walking somewhere. He laughs on the way, and Jimin is close behind, as you can see his head peeking over your brother’s shoulder.
“Don’t open the door,” Jimin says.
Taehyung snorts, and it’s like he forgot you’re right there. Or maybe he’s enjoying this.
Maybe he’s known about Jungkook all along, and this is his own twisted way to kill the relationship before it really starts. 
Your reckon, you deserve it. For all the lies, for the truth hidden, you deserve it. But then again, isn’t Jungkook the true responsible of the neverending breaking in your chest? Because it’s breaking - like a glass dropped, your heart is shattering. 
Perhaps chasing cars around Jungkook’s head was only ever leading to an inevitable crash.
“Jungkook,” Taehyung singsongs, and then you hear a door being opened, and the camera flips.
You don’t even know why you’re still looking. You know exactly what’s going to be under your eyes - what is under your eyes - but you can’t stop watching. Can’t really see it either, blurry as it is behind the tears pooling in your gaze.
I promise I’ll come back to you and make it work
He was never going to come back, wasn’t he? He was bound to be left in the past - you should have known when you’d kissed him by the door. Should have known to take the time to commit his features to memory.
Your vision clears, and the scene comes in focus. He’s dressed. He’s fully clothed, and so is she - you don’t even know if it’s a relief. Because they’re clearly kissing, and you think maybe he’s ripped your heart from your chest.
He was lying to you. He was lying to you through it all, wasn’t he? You should have listened to everyone, should have run while you still could.
You’re crying. You only realize you’re crying when Ria steals your phone from your hands, quickly hanging up the call. 
“Y/n,” she gently says, and she kneels in front of you, wiping the tears on your cheeks. “Y/n.”
“Holy shit,” is all you’re able to say before you break into sobs, shaking from the ferocity of the heartbreak. 
Your heart, now shards of glass, pricks your skin, pricks your soul. Everything hurts - you burn and drown, you freeze and blaze. You can’t breathe around the sobs, choking on them as they rock through you, yet you can’t stop them.
And as you break, you see him on Valentine’s Day. You see his sparkling eyes, his gentle gaze. See his lips right before he’d kissed you, so gentle like he’d been afraid to break you. You see him in New York, see him as he’d fucked you like you were in the clouds. You see him every day since then - you’d been so convinced of the reciprocity of the feelings that you’d forgotten who you were dealing with.
You think perhaps you’d truly just been the little sister, a fantasy he had to check on his bullet list of things to do in his life. And perhaps he’d been afraid of breaking you, of the inevitable consequences on him.
“He fucking lied to me,” is the first thing you manage to say through the breaking.
Ria pulls you in, and you fall on the floor, where she holds you as you cry. 
“He fucking lied.”
She strokes your hair. “I’m sorry.”
And it hits you then - Jungkook never really said he had feelings for you. It’d just been an act - the grandest act of his life, perhaps. And you’d been foolish enough to fall, to fall and fall and think he’d catch you. You’d thought you were diving in sweet waters, yet tonight you crash on concrete, the Earth’s gravity destroying you until you’re just a memory, meant to be carried away on a wind of heartbreak.
Ria stays with you until you fall asleep in your bed, your makeup ruined by your tears.
Your heart ruined by Jeon Jungkook.
Prev | Chapter 11.5 | Next
☆☆☆☆☆
.................. i am deeply sorry. please don't hate me for this one, and feel free to scream at me too :') (i promise everything will make sense one day)
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.
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andersonfilms · 8 months
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❝ SUB!ABBY ❞ ✶ ABBY ANDERSON !
★⠀warning y disclaimers — eighteen+, fem!reader, wlw sex, poc!friendly, sub!abby, cheatin (on owen), dirty talk, abby gets fucked, strap (abby!r), hair pulling.
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“you have to be quiet, baby. not unless you want owen to hear? okay?” your hands run over the fat of her butt, guiding her as she rides your strap, the cocked wedged deep within her, nearly causing her to see stars. “hmmm, you know maybe it isn’t such a bad idea for him to hear you.”
you never would have pegged her to be the type for pierced nipples, silver barbell with steel balls accentuating the sensitive bud, a reddish hue due to all your teasing. the small tattoo by her pretty pussy nearly sending you into a downward spiral. all of it combined had you crumbling to your knees, desperate to make her come.
it’s why you’d eaten her out the first time you’d ever been alone with her, the second time you fingered her in a dirty frat bathroom with the sight of sweet cunt as her slick drenched your hand, soaking you in her a nectar you thought would only visit you in your dreams. now, eros gifted you with her another time and you had prepared for this. strap tucked safely in your pants because abby would be here. owen was stupid enough to let her be around you, alone. now, the next time he couldn’t make her cum, she’d think of you.
your cock would never leave her mind, you wouldn’t let it.
abby took a look in the mirror again; the one you demanded to fuck in front it. the tension she held in her shoulders was evident when you suggested it but the beefcake in front of you just needs a little coaxing and you’d happily provide it for her — just like you always did.
“you like riding my cock? you look so beautiful, most gorgeous girl in the world.” your loving words make abby clench our your girth, bouncing on your cock. “tell me baby. c’mon. wanna hear how much you like it.”
abby just nods hoping it’s enough but it’s not.
you smack her ass harshly causing abby to whimper as buck her hips, causing a small bounce and the friction on your clit from the harness is delicious. baby, blue eyes are so wide but she knows better than to stop her pace. as a peace offering she goes faster before she’s attempting to speak.
she can’t voice it, not really. she’s scared of how much she loves it, how every time with owen, or any other man, never felt like this. you don’t pressure anymore, not when there’s only pure concentration laced on her face, furrowed blonde eyebrows as she bounces on your cock. soft, muscular thighs trembling intensely.
“how….how do you make me feel this good?” abby questions as she leans forward, resting her sweaty forehead against yours. you take it as in opportunity to hammer into her. planting your feet, before meeting her thrusts and you feel her back twitch as she whimpers pathetically in your ear, her breathing heavy as she takes it.
the eight inch pink dildo with the thick girth is double what she’s used to, maybe more, and it doesn’t help your filling every inch of her.
in a tight grip, you tug on her braid causing abby to lose it.
“oh, did you like when i pull on your braid, pretty girl?” abby whines when you pull harder, her clit throbbing, the pit in her stomach beginning to fill. she’s bucking her hips like a whole animal, meeting your powerful thrusts, neither of you hear the heavy footsteps approaching.
“yeah, please don’t stop. i’m almost there. fuck, i-i’m going to cum.” the moment she does its a dream come true for you. owen opens the door but abby is too fucked out, caught up in the wave of the earth shattering orgasm she’s riding, her body twitching as she whimpers into your neck.
he looks like he could kill you and if he does, it may be worth it but you decide now is the time to test your luck. the lame excuse of a man always parades abby in your face just because he knows how you feel for her. now you’re going to make him pay for it.
he’s stands there silently with rage as you smack her ass, looking him straight in the eyes as you do so. desperately, abby moans your name as you start to fuck her again. she sits up, but she’s still angled in a way she can’t see owen who looks like he can’t fucking move watching his girlfriend get fucked by the friend he was told to never worry about.
“c’mon angel, bounce on my cock, again. wanna see you squirt for me.” this time abby’s pace is brutal, her beefy body losing control as you make her drunk on your dick. “now tell me what i wanna hear. you know what to say, angel.”
“yeah? want me to say it?” you nod as her weight drops on you every few seconds, nearly causing you to cum in the process.
“you fuck me better than anyone, baby.” owen angrily stomps away causing abby to turn anxiously, realizing whose been behind her this entire time. the look of horror written all over her face, but then you flip her over, pushing her against the furry gray rug.
“thank you for being such a good girl. now, let me fuck my sweet girl’s brains out, yeah?”
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bueckerrss · 4 months
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SKYFALL - PAIGE BUECKERS
warnings: angst.
tags: @patscorner @wintersstan @pbueckerslover
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
TEARS FORMED IN MY EYES the words i dreaded the most were finally said and i had no idea how we got here but it finally happened.
how did we get here? i thought everything was okay between us, but i guess not everything was like i thought it was.
“look, i’m sorry okay i just don’t feel a connection between us anymore and i’m not going to lie i have been seeing someone else” she said no emotion behind her words.
wake up, wake up, wake up!
this is just a horrible dream y/n she’s not here, she’s not real, but what if it was? what if she really is here telling me all the things i’ve never wanted to talk about?
“oh,” i whispered fearing that if i said something else i would break down “since when?” i asked looking at her face for answers “for a while now, like three weeks or so” great. around that time she was being the most loving girlfriend.
“PAIGE!!” i shrieked as she tickled me making me squirm beneath her trying to free myself from her grip “SAY IT! SAY I’M THE BEST AT FORTNITE!” she said in between laughs still tickling me “never!” i laughed out as i flipped us over so now i was on top looking at her. her eyes looking into mine then down towards my lips, in one quick motion her lips were on mine a fire enlightening in us. the spark suddenly being back, the spark i’ve missed so much.
“so everything we did and everything we shared was fake?” i felt tears prick my eyes blinking them back i look at her face no sign of remorse or guilt being shown “i mean not entirely but yea, look i have to go” she said standing up and heading for the door.
once i was sure she was gone i let out a sob finally letting everything out, how could i be so stupid? i knew she was no good for me but i let my guard down. i trusted her.
“paige look it’s a duck!” i said pointing to the pond in front of us as we walked down the park hand in hand “where?” she asked looking around the pond “right there by the rock!” i said she followed my gaze and smiled at the sight of the baby duck waddling out of the water. “he walks like you” she teased slightly nudging my shoulder, i turned around pretending to be mad at her “babe, don’t be like that! i was joking!” she said going after me and placing a hand on my shoulder i shrugged it off looking anywhere but her. “baby come on look at me” she said stepping in front of me she lifted my chin up with two fingers making me look at her “there you go, wasn’t that hard right?” she whispered, letting my chin go she pulled out a box from her pocket and held it out for me. the black velvet box seeming so small compared to her hand, i looked up at her a smile spread across my face as she nodded towards the box for me to take.
opening the lid it revealed a beautiful golden necklace with a heart charm “look into the heart” she smiled at me as i looked into the heart my smile grew wider it said “i love you” in every language.
i took off the necklace she had given me and placed it on the table in front of me, laying down on my back looking up at the ceiling the tears pooling out of my eyes the harder i tried stopping them the more the tears would came out. it felt like my whole world was crumbling apart.
my heart felt like it was breaking every second that passed, i felt like i couldn’t breathe without her by my side she was my source of oxygen and i lost it. i held my breath trying to calm myself down but a sob escaped my lips making me cough.
-
i’ve spent more time looking at my phone for a text or call from paige, but nothing all i wanted was an explanation. the one she gave me didn’t feel like her. it felt forced. but i didn’t have time for that anymore.
i walked towards the familiar door i’ve walked through a thousand times before knocking on it. a girl i didn’t recognize opened the door “hi, sorry to bother but is paige home?” i asked looking at the redhead in front of me “babe who’s at the door?” a familiar voice said in the background as it got closer “y/n” she said locking eyes with me her whole demeanor changing “paige,” i said stretching out my arms with the box of her things “just came to return your things” i said as i handed her the box “uh, thanks” she said “lily could you put this in my room please?” she asked giving her the box leaving us alone.
“is that all?” she asked looking around “yea, that’s all and here” i said taking out the velvet box from my pocket and putting it in her hand before leaving without saying anything else.
“do you ever think about the future?” i asked paige as i drew figures on her arms “all the time, why?” she asked looking at me “am i in it?” i whispered looking at her “baby, you are my future there’s no one else i’ll love more than you.” she whispered back pulling me closer to kiss my head. i smiled as i let sleep take over my body and enjoying this moment.
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Text
Valentine’s Day
Teen!NanamixTeen!Reader
(Part 2)
“Is this some kind of prank?”
That was the first thing to cross First Year Nanami Kento’s mind. Of course it had to be. What other reason would there be for a folded pink note to be on his desk? He grimaced as he picked up the note and looked it over. It was made of construction paper and smelled faintly of perfume and markers, which he could see bleeding through. All signs pointed to one thing: Gojo wrote a fake note and doused it in perfume to trick him.
What a pain…
The thought that someone, anyone, could have written him a genuine love note?! Ridiculous! This Valentine’s Day was going to end with Yu sharing all the sweets he got and Kento was just fine with that. He crumbled the letter up and put it in his pocket to throw away later. Luckily you didn’t stick around to see that far. You had gotten far too embarrassed. Shoko watched as you anxiously walked in circles. It thought of him rejecting you was heartbreaking but if you didn’t let your feelings be known how could you move on!
“Pacing won’t help you.” Shoko stated.
“I know but- ugh!” You slumped onto the bench into defeat. “I hate feelings.”
Shoko hummed in acknowledgment.
“Dude you are going to town on those cigarettes.” You stated
“Oh these? It’s candy from Gojo, I don’t wanna smell like smoke when me and Utahime go karoking later. You wanna come if Nanami rejects you?”
“What? You got a crush on the emo kid?” Gojo laughed. You quickly jumped back in shock. Him and Geto had the annoying hair of appearing anywhere you were. Gojo was of course doing it on purpose but you wished Geto would warn you.
“Don’t tease them Satoru.” Geto said in a light tone. Something about it still felt mocking.
“Spies! The both of you!” You yelled.
“Nah, you just talk too loud.” Gojo leaned over the benches back. His body slumped against your back as he shook your shoulders. “Come on~ Tell me about your crush~”
“Could you fuck off? You are so annoying.” You sneered.
“It’s cute (Y/N)! I didn’t think you would like the dark and brooding type.” Gojo cooed.
“He’s not dark and brooding!” You yelled, face flushed with embarrassment.
Gojo wasn’t completely wrong, Nanami was a little dark and brooding. He doesn’t really talk to people and always looks annoyed or angry. You would have continued your school days without ever noticing him. He noticed you though. When you were harassed by a group of third years, he told them to back off and helped you to class. He picked up the books you dropped by accident and gave you the treats he didn’t eat. Nanami was very kind and respectful to you despite his dislike for Gojo.
You pushed the bashful thoughts out of your head. The anxiety crept back in. Surely Nanami had found the note. He had to be coming to find you eventually.
“Oi Nanami!” Gojo called over. Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest.
You saw Nanami’s expression change to annoyance as he walked in long strides towards you. He didn’t look at you aside from a quick glance before fixating back on Gojo.
“Ohh~ What’s that? A love note?” Gojo joked. Nanami held up the crumbled pink paper and tossed it towards Gojo. It bounced off his chest and hit the ground, rolling right in front of you.
“Don’t leave notes at my desk again, senpai.” He stated.
Nanami left the four of you in a deafening silence. It was like the whole world had just stopped and you could only hear his footsteps disappear in the distance. Geto cleared his throat to say something but you couldn’t understand it. You leaned down to pick up the note.
“Shoko. I got some homework to finish, come get me when you're ready to leave.” You said blankly.
“Uh, yeah.” She replied.
You quietly walked back to your room.
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Please forgive this fear of mine (it used to keep me safe)
let me wrap my teeth around the world - series masterlist here
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pairing: poly marauders x reader (gender neutral)
length: 1.9k
genre: fluff, happy ending to the angst
warnings: slytherin reader, here's the happy ending folks, reader is described as very attractive in a lot of different ways by the boys but it's all ofc still gender neutral
a/n: here it is I PROMISED I would give you the happy ending to I don’t know you anymore (maybe I never really did)
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"You made James cry." You flinch at Remus's words, looking up at him from where you're sitting in the astronomy tower. He sits next to you as you look back out at the night sky, the stars blinking in and out.
"I wanted to talk to him to fix things, not make it worse," you say stubbornly. Remus raises a brow at you.
"Did you really think what you said would help?" He asks dryly. You stiffen.
"I'm trying my best."
"We all are." His words sit heavily in the silence between you, Remus looking at you pointedly, patiently, while you stare up through the clouds. As the constellations stare back at you, you find your hands bunching into fists as you miss Sirius sitting next to you, leaning against your side and pointing out stars and their names to you. You feel suddenly nauseous at the realization that you'll never have that again. Oh well.
"I would've thought it'd be Sirius up here right now. I'm sure he wants to chew me out for this," you say. Remus looks at you knowingly. 
"He's upset right now. We thought it would be best for me to come talk to you while he calms down. He loves you too much to knowingly hurt you."
"Don't say that," you snap back. Remus doesn't flinch.
"It's true. He loves you."
"Stop."
"Why is that so difficult for you to hear?" Remus pushes, gentle and soft in all the ways that make you crumble. You grit your teeth as you begin to feel your eyes burning, knowing that if you start crying, it'll make the whole thing so much worse.
"I didn't mean to do this," you say bitterly, a defensiveness in your voice that has Remus straightening. "And it'll be my fault when it wrecks everything - it already is."
"What do you mean by that, dove?" Remus asks patiently. You look at him and he stares back, lost in whatever it is you're trying to communicate.
"You think I'm horrible for leaving," your voice warbles against your will and you dig your nails into your palms. "You think I'm heartless and cruel for stringing you all along and then running away."
"Hey, love, we don't think that -"
"But it's not my fault," you barrel on. Now that you've opened the floodgates, the words burn your throat in your desperation to get them all out. "The only way to make sure the three of you don't fight over me is to leave. If I'd stayed, you would've demanded I choose one of you and no matter who I choose, it would have been wrong and it would've hurt you all and the stupid jealousy you all would've gotten lost in would've wrecked everything." You stare at Remus after your outburst, desperately wiping away the tears that have begun rolling down your cheeks. Remus stares back, shock painting his features.
"I beg your pardon?" Is all he finally says. You huff and begin to turn away, but he stops you with a delicate hand on your cheek, gently forcing you to look at him.
"I love you," he says firmly.
"I'm sorry," you whisper back.
"No, listen to me. I love you -" 
"And I'm sorry," you interrupt. Remus sighs and smoothes his thumb over your cheekbone, but lets you continue. He's never seen you hysterical like this and there's an anxiousness eating at him at your distraught state, but he can't think of anything to do other than just walk you through it. "I told you, I didn't mean to do this."
"You didn't… mean to make us fall in love with you?" Remus hesitates.
"Yes," you huff back like it's obvious. And then, much quieter, "I didn't mean to ruin everything. I swear, I didn't mean to." Something in Remus's heart clenches painfully at the sad, small, warble in your voice and he draws in a deep breath.
"Ok, sweet thing. Can I just… speak for a minute? Just listen, ok?" You wince like you're being chastised and Remus rushes to speak before another apology can tumble out of your mouth. "It's alright, you're alright. Just… I love you, ok? Hey, no, look at me. I love you. And so does James. And so does Sirius. They love you as much as they love one another and as much as they love me. And I love you as much as I love them."
"…I don't think I know what you're saying," you respond slowly, blinking rapidly. Remus smiles sheepishly and something in you softens as you let your head rest a bit where he's got your face held securely in his palms.
"It was never a competition, dove. There's no jealousy. We're… sharers. You share me with the others, right? And you share them with me? We all… share you the same way." Remus strokes your cheeks with his thumbs gently, waiting and watching as you put together what he's said.
"Oh," you say abruptly. "Oh. I hadn't - I didn't… oh." Remus lets himself laugh a bit, pulling you closer with an arm around your shoulders and smiling when you slouch against his chest, although he assumes it's mostly out of shock. You pull back after a moment, though, narrowing your eyes at him. He blinks.
"You're all awful communicators, you know," you say haughtily. He kisses you on the forehead.
"Sorry, doll."
"Whatever. I tortured us all for nothing."
"Yes, well, you do have a flair for dramatics. I think it's what Sirius loves about you." Remus pokes your side gently. You squirm a little but sit up straighter at the mention of Sirius.
"Tell them I'm sorry, will you?" You ask gently. Remus frowns.
"You'll tell them yourself… won't you?"
"Yes," you huff out a laugh. "I'm not running away again. But you'll see them before I do."
"Alright, love," Remus plants a kiss on the corner of your mouth, so soft you barely feel it. "I'll let them know."
You wonder, sort of desperately, if Remus kept his word. The way Sirius is staring at you makes you shift, rolling the tension out of your neck before you slump further down into the couch you're sitting on, looking back at him. Sirius is sitting opposite you rather pointedly, choosing the couch farthest from you as the two of you sit in the Gryffindor common room. James and Remus are supposed to be here by now, but your constant glances toward the doorway don't materialize them in front of you.
"I thought you weren't angry at us anymore," Sirius's voice snaps you back to the present. It's soft, the way he speaks to you - kind, your brain supplies weakly.
"I was never angry at you," you sit a bit straighter. Sirius shrugs, but his eyes stay trained on you.
"Avoidant, then. You're looking at me like you're waiting for me to tear you a new one."
"Well," you blink. "Are you going to?" Sirius frowns at your words, shaking his head and letting loose strands of hair fall over his eyes.
"I'm not here to have a row with you, doll," he says gently. Your shoulders drop.
"Well… you could," you point out. "I don't expect all to be forgiven just because I bat my eyes at Remus and let him kiss me a bit." Sirius leans forward at your words, propping his elbows on his knees and looking at you intently. You shift in your seat and glance at the door again.
"You seem to be under the impression that your beauty is some horrible weapon you use against us. It's really not - you're just pretty."
"Just pretty?" You say indignantly. Sirius laughs.
"Drop-dead gorgeous, of course. I didn't mean it like that - you know I think you're fit. All I'm saying is that you haven't ensnared us in any way that we're unhappy about." Sirius grins at you, canines exposed, and you roll your eyes. "I'm happy to be caught in your trap, baby."
"Oh, aren't we all," James says as he flounces into the room, Remus coming in right behind him. James settles next to you on the couch and pulls you into a crushing hug, murmuring something about how you had him so worried and he's so desperately relieved to have you back here with them all.
"What are you doing all the way over there, love?" Remus questions Sirius as he settles down next to James, fondly watching the way you smooth his curls out of your way as James buries his face in your neck.
"Didn't want to crowd them," Sirius says dryly. "Not that we all got that message." James pops his head up, blinding you with one of his million-watt smiles. 
"Am I crowding you, love?" He asks. 
"I'm alright," you respond easily, sending a smile in Sirius's direction. He stands at that, making his way over to you.
"Alright, shove off, Jamie - learn to share," is all Sirius says before he's pushing through James to get to you, Remus pulling James by the waist to sit curled up against him instead. James takes it in stride, settling with his back against the armrest and letting Remus flop against his chest. Sirius, on the other hand, is wrestling you into doing the same. He grins at James once he's got you planted on his lap, leaning against him. You only have the energy to pretend to be a little annoyed.
"Anyway," Remus begins, and all three of you soften at the lulled, sleepy quality that's taken over his voice as he melts against James's chest - you all know it's a lethal position to be in. "What was it that we heard about you not being pretty enough, dove?" You huff and James pouts sympathetically.
"I'm too pretty, I guess. That's the problem." Sirius laughs at your words, smoothing a hand over your hair when the abrupt movement of it jostles your head against his chest.
"I'll keep telling you, love - we're willing participants in this. You're not conning us into anything," he insists. You mumble out a whatever and sink further into his embrace. James nudges your leg with his foot and Remus catches you by the ankle when you go to kick back, rubbing soothing circles into the skin there.
"Our sweet baby," James coos. "You're a precious little thing, aren't you?"
"Shut up," you quip back, your voice muffled against Sirius's chest. He rubs a firm hand up and down your back and drops gentle kisses onto the crown of your head.
"I admire your confidence, lovely," Remus murmurs, his hand smoothing up and down your calf. "But I promise you haven't bewitched us against our will."
"Nah," Sirius whispers against your hair. "You've only bewitched us because we begged. So really, we're the ones who caught you." You smack Sirius's chest at his words and he grins, holding you tighter against him. "Go to sleep, doll. I promise we'll still be right here when you wake up."
"Because we'll still be under your spell," James supplies. You sigh wearily.
"Please shut up," you beg. They take no notice.
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its-avalon-08 · 1 month
Text
it all fell down (ln4)
part8
multipart story! part1 part2 part3 part4 part5 part6 part7
✦ pairing - lando norris x female reader
summary : lando norris and y/n were friends for 20 years, fell in love and dated for five. until it all fell down. they left each others lives abruptly and never spoke again, until they met again in the most unexpected way. can they find their way back or will certain scars never heal?
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As Y/N walked away from Lando, she felt the lingering warmth of his embrace on her skin. Her heart was still racing, and every step she took felt heavier than the last. She tried to focus on the business she had to attend to in the paddock, but her mind was spinning, replaying the hug, his voice, and the way he had looked at her.
I’m not over him. I thought I’d moved on, convinced myself that I could live without him, but… seeing him, talking to him, feeling his arms around me again… I can’t breathe. It’s like the last two years didn’t happen. Like we’re right back where we started.
She absentmindedly flipped through some documents, pretending to be engaged in the meeting she was supposed to be attending. The words on the pages blurred as her thoughts kept drifting back to Lando.
Why does he still have this effect on me? I was so sure I could handle seeing him, that we’d just be polite, distant even. But the moment he looked at me, it was like all the walls I built just crumbled. I can’t do this. I can’t pretend I don’t still love him. Maybe I never stopped.
Meanwhile, Lando was in the Red Bull garage, surrounded by the familiar sounds of engines roaring and mechanics chatting. But all of it seemed distant, like he was in a fog. He absentmindedly nodded as his engineers discussed strategy, his thoughts entirely consumed by Y/N.
What just happened? he wondered, still feeling the ghost of her touch on his skin. I thought I was over her. I thought I had moved on with my life, but the second she looked at me with those eyes, I was done for. All those feelings I tried to bury just came rushing back. How am I supposed to focus on anything else when she’s here?
He clenched his fists, trying to ground himself, but it was no use. His mind was fixated on her. She apologized. She meant it. I could see it in her eyes. But it’s more than that. Being near her again, it felt… right. Like something that was broken inside me is slowly starting to heal.
Lando’s heart raced, his thoughts tumbling over each other. I’m not over her. I thought I was, but seeing her again… I still love her. It’s terrifying because I don’t know if I can go through that pain again. But I also don’t know if I can stand not being with her.
Y/N, on the other side of the paddock, was having similar thoughts. She tried to push them down, to focus on the tasks at hand, but her mind refused to cooperate. Why does this have to be so complicated? she thought, her frustration bubbling up. I just want to go back to when things were simple, when it was just him and me, and nothing else mattered.
She bit her lip, feeling tears prick at her eyes again. I was so sure I could handle this, that I was strong enough to be around him and not fall apart. But now… now I’m realizing that maybe I never really moved on. Maybe I’ve just been lying to myself this whole time.
Both Lando and Y/N, in their separate worlds, were grappling with the same realization. They weren’t over each other. Not even close. And the thought was both exhilarating and terrifying.
Lando sighed, leaning against the wall of the garage, his thoughts swirling. She’s always been the one. Maybe we were meant to find our way back to each other. But how do we even start? After everything that’s happened… can we really make this work?
Y/N, lost in her own world of confusion, felt the weight of the realization settle over her. I’m not over him. And I don’t know if I ever will be. But maybe… maybe that’s okay. Maybe it’s not about moving on, but about figuring out how to move forward… together.
And as they both stood, lost in their thoughts, the world around them continued on, unaware of the storm raging inside them.
time skip
Lando leaned against the wall of the garage, trying to focus on the strategy meeting, but his mind was elsewhere, replaying every moment he had just shared with Y/N. Carlos noticed Lando’s distracted state and nudged Max, signaling him to follow. The two drivers cornered Lando as soon as the meeting ended.
“Mate, you good?” Carlos asked, concern etched on his face.
Lando shook his head, trying to shake off the tension in his chest. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just… a lot on my mind.”
Max crossed his arms, studying Lando carefully. “It’s Y/N, isn’t it?”
Lando’s jaw tightened at the mention of her name. He tried to play it off, but Carlos knew him too well. “You still care about her, don’t you?”
Lando sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, man. Seeing her again… it just brought everything back.”
Carlos frowned. “You two were so good together. What happened?”
Lando clenched his fists, the memories of their breakup flooding his mind. What didn’t happen?
flashback to lando’s pov:
They were standing in the middle of their shared apartment, voices raised, the air thick with anger and resentment. Lando could still see the look of hurt in Y/N’s eyes, the way her hands trembled as she pointed at him.
Lando paced the living room, his hands trembling with frustration. He felt trapped, suffocated by the expectations, the demands, and most of all, the person he thought he’d always love. Y/N stood by the doorway, her eyes wide with a mix of hurt and disbelief.
“I can’t keep doing this, Y/N,” Lando finally snapped, his voice cutting through the silence. “You don’t get it. You’ve never fucking understood what it’s like to be me!”
Y/N flinched, her voice shaky but resolute. “And you don’t get what it’s like to be with someone who’s always gone! Always focused on anything but us! I’ve tried to be patient, Lando, but it feels like you don’t even want to try anymore.”
Lando stopped pacing, his gaze turning cold. “Maybe I don’t. Maybe I’m tired of pretending that everything’s okay when it’s not. You’ve become this… this weight around my neck, Y/N. I can’t breathe around you.”
The words stung as they left his mouth, but he couldn’t stop himself. The frustration and resentment had been building for so long.
Y/N’s eyes filled with tears, but her voice rose in defiance. “You think this is easy for me? Watching you chase your dreams while mine have to wait? I’ve supported you through everything, and all I ask is for a little support in return. But you can’t even give me that.”
Lando’s fists clenched at his sides, anger bubbling over. “Support? You want support? All you do is nag and complain! You’re never happy with anything I do! Maybe if you weren’t so damn needy, I wouldn’t feel like I’m fucking drowning!”
Y/N’s face crumpled, but she held her ground. “Needy? I’m fucking needy because I want to feel like I matter to you? Because I want to feel like I’m still a part of your life? You’ve been shutting me out for months, Lando! Do you even love me anymore?”
Lando’s jaw tightened as he struggled to find an answer. But the only thing that came out was the cold, bitter truth. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can love someone who makes me feel like this.”
Y/N’s breath caught, her heart breaking at his words. But she refused to let him see her crumble. “Maybe we’re both better off without each other, then. Maybe this was all just a mistake.”
The room fell silent, the weight of her words hanging in the air. Lando felt his heart twist in his chest, but his pride wouldn’t let him take it back. He nodded stiffly, his voice hollow. “Maybe it was.”
end of flashback
Lando blinked, the memory so vivid it made his chest ache. He could still feel the sting of her words, the way his heart had shattered when she walked out the door and never looked back.
Carlos and Max exchanged a look, sensing the turmoil in their friend. Max placed a hand on Lando’s shoulder. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But we’re here for you, man.”
Lando nodded, his voice barely above a whisper. “It was bad. We both said things we didn’t mean. But… I can’t forget it. It still hurts.”
Meanwhile, in another part of the paddock, Y/N was deep in conversation with Oscar and Charles. They had noticed her distant demeanor and cornered her as soon as she finished her meeting.
“Y/N, you’ve been quiet since we got here,” Oscar said, his tone gentle. “What’s going on?”
Y/N sighed, hugging her arms to her chest. “I ran into Lando earlier. It just… it brought back a lot of memories.”
Charles frowned. “You two were really close. It must be hard seeing him again.”
Y/N nodded, her mind drifting back to the breakup, the painful words that had ended everything.
flashback to y/n’s pov:
She had never felt so alone as she did in that moment, standing in the apartment she had once called home, facing the man she had loved for so long. The man who was now looking at her with cold, distant eyes.
“Why can’t you just talk to me?” she had pleaded, her voice shaking with emotion. “I need to know what’s going on with you, Lando. I can’t keep guessing.”
But Lando had only grown more frustrated, his voice rising in anger. “You think I have time to sit down and talk about my feelings? I’m trying to hold everything together here, Y/N. And all you ever do is ask for more.”
Y/N had felt her heart breaking, the pain of his words cutting deep. “All I ever wanted was to be there for you. But you keep shutting me out. It’s like you don’t even want me around anymore.”
Lando had thrown his hands up in exasperation. “Maybe I don’t! Maybe I need space, and you’re just… always there, needing something from me.”
Y/N had felt the tears spill over, the hurt turning into anger. “You don’t even see me anymore. All you see is your career, your fame. What about us? What about what we had?”
“I can’t keep doing this, Y/N,” Lando’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts, sharp and full of anger. “You don’t get it. You’ve never understood what it’s like to be me!”
The words hit her like a slap. She had always tried to understand, to be there for him, but it was never enough. “And you don’t get what it’s like to be with someone who’s always gone! Always focused on anything but us! I’ve tried to be patient, Lando, but it feels like you don’t even want to try anymore.”
Lando’s cold gaze met hers, and for a moment, she thought she saw a flicker of regret. But then he spoke, his words cutting her to the core. “Maybe I don’t. Maybe I’m tired of pretending that everything’s okay when it’s not. You’ve become this… this weight around my neck, Y/N. I can’t breathe around you.”
The pain in her chest was overwhelming, but she refused to let him see how much it hurt. “You think this is easy for me? Watching you chase your dreams while mine have to wait? I’ve supported you through everything, and all I ask is for a little support in return. But you can’t even give me that.”
Lando’s face twisted in anger, and when he spoke again, his words were like poison. “Support? You want support? All you do is nag and complain! You’re never happy with anything I do! Maybe if you weren’t so damn needy, I wouldn’t feel like I’m fucking drowning!”
Y/N felt the tears spill over, but she refused to back down. “Needy? I’m fucking needy because I want to feel like I matter to you? Because I want to feel like I’m still a part of your life? You’ve been shutting me out for months, Lando! Do you even love me anymore?”
The silence that followed was deafening, and when Lando finally spoke, it felt like the ground had been ripped out from under her. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can love someone who makes me feel like this.”
Y/N’s world shattered at those words, but she forced herself to stay strong. “Maybe we’re both better off without each other, then. Maybe this was all just a mistake.”
She watched as Lando’s expression hardened, his voice distant and empty. “Maybe it was.”
She had left then, not wanting to stay another moment in a place that was filled with so much pain. But as she walked away, she had felt a part of her die, the part that had loved Lando with everything she had.
end of flashback
Y/N blinked back tears, the memory still raw even after all this time. She looked at Oscar and Charles, who were watching her with concern.
“I said some horrible things,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “I pushed him away when he needed me the most. And he… he hurt me in ways I never thought he could. But I still… I still care about him. And that scares me.”
Charles sighed, pulling her into a comforting hug. “You two were both under a lot of pressure. It’s understandable that things got heated. But maybe it’s time to forgive yourself, Y/N. You can’t keep carrying this weight around.”
Oscar nodded in agreement. “It’s clear that you both still care about each other. Maybe this is your chance to start over. Or at least find some closure.”
Y/N leaned into the hug, feeling the warmth of their support, but the pain of the past still lingered, refusing to let go.
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from-izzy · 1 month
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it's so nice to be loved by you | nct na jaemin
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And this is one of the moments when Na Jaemin feels like the luckiest person in the world once again.
pairing » nct na jaemin x gn!reader (lmk if i missed anything!)��
trope/au » ​established relationship au!, college au!, non-idol au!
genre » fluffy and comforting love for both you and jaemin, you show jaemin that you love him, boyfriend na jaemin who loves to give you back hugs, a ton of kissing, again my horrible attempt at comedy
word count, estimated reading time » 1064, ~4 mins
warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » jaemin implied to be taller, not proofread 😭
navi/masterlist!! 🤍
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it took me way too long to decide on a banner that i had to post this for later like 🤠 genuinely didn't think this was going to see the light of day before jaemin's bday ended 😭 anyway! so...y'all would think that i'm jaemin biased but i'm not 😗 in saying that! he needs to stop wrecking my bias list aye-
happy birthday to our nana!
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Na Jaemin is a hard worker. 
When he sets his mind on something, he will see it through the end even if the whole world turns against him.
Or maybe he continues working hard because he knows you won’t turn against him, no matter the result. Because he believes you will always hear him, let him explain his thoughts even if the whole world doesn’t crumble down on him. These little things made him realise that he’s deeply in love with you, and these same acts reassure him that you feel the same.
For you, the small things like the little hugs he gives whenever he sees you. Despite your complaints of these back hugs that would make you stumble forward and sometimes spill a bit of your beverage on your hand, you would never want him to stop surprising you with this little act of love he gives. You’ve always wanted him to be on the receiving side of this—not the whole spilling drinks part—but the moving emotions that you feel whenever he wraps his arms around you and whispers sweet nothings that would immediately heat your cheeks in a matter of milliseconds. 
It’s currently the perfect opportunity for that. You have failed in your previous attempts because you’re not as stealthy in your steps as you think you were and Jaemin would always say that he has his special radar for you but you’ve always tried your attempts whenever Jaemin isn’t too preoccupied with something else, whether it be writing his final notes on the board or how he’s walking down the hallway at the start of the day. 
Right now, you observe sneakily as Jaemin scored the final goal with his friend group from high school. You were thankful that they all decided to go to the same institution for further study. You felt lonely sometimes with your friends in a different college, but Jaemin is here and everything seems to be breathable once more as you continue your academic journey. Jaemin just finished his soccer game before they all needed to go to their tutorial, sparing a good ten to fifteen minutes to walk through this enormous campus.
Though tired and out of breath, he still saves his last energy to playfully bicker with his friends, resonating laughs in the summer light as the losing team promises that they’ll win next time. You make eye contact with Jeno briefly, who along with everyone else but Jaemin has already decided to prepare for the next part of their day. You hold your index finger to your lips at your boyfriend’s best friend and he responds with an ‘o’ shape to his lips, knowing exactly what you’re planning.
You dashed right away, your steps thankfully masked by the chaotic sounds of his friends. You slump right to Jaemin’s back, arms loosely around his neck and chin resting on his shoulder. The fact that Jaemin responds with a surprised gasp is what made the grin on your face grow. 
“Hello there,” he greets after recognising the bracelet he recently gifted you, chuckling at how pretty it looks on the hands that he loves to hold.
A kiss to the cheek is what you greet him back with and Jaemin turns his head to your side, bopping his nose to yours. “Good game?” 
He just responds with a nod. “Don’t think you should be hugging me though. I’m all sweaty,” to which you just shrug your shoulders, not minding it at all.
And this is one of the moments when Na Jaemin feels like the luckiest person in the world once again. 
It’s such a simple gesture but to him it’s everything. He doesn’t ask for a lot of things, only genuine love and that’s what you show him all the time, again and again. You watch as he flutters his eyelashes down, closing his eyes to feel your embrace in the cooling wind. He leans his forehead into yours and you feel his calming breathing on your lips. You shortly followed his actions, just enjoying being in his presence whilst initiating a swaying motion to your hug. 
“It’s so nice to be loved by you.” 
And when you open your eyes, you’re met with a pair of eyes that show his entire universe: you. The realisation of his words sinks in and you are about to answer if it wasn’t for him titling his head, diving to press a quick peck to your lips. Just when you thought he was done, he would go for another one, relishing your flustered state.
“Nana!” His hands on your forearm to make sure you don’t escape.
Jaemin does eventually stop kissing you though a pout stays on his lips and it’s only when you mirror his expression back that the corner of his lips rises. You both continue in this atmosphere for a bit more before Jaemin continues his thought.
“It’s nice,” he whispers, “to know that I can always go to someone even if I don’t have an exact reason to. To be able to give my all to someone, knowing that they’ll appreciate it.”
And this time, you were the one to envelop his lips. It’s longer than the ones he gave you. Your lips hug his, moving slowly and delicately to which he reciprocates. He thinks it’s beautiful, just like your whole being to him. You pull away and Jaemin looks at you thoughtfully, wondering how he got so lucky.
“Can I tell you a secret?” 
“Doubt that it will be but go ahead.”
“You’re right,” nodding to the fact, “It really isn’t a secret that I love you so much, Na Jaemin.”
“Told you,” teasing but delightful at the confession, “And I hope that it’s not a secret to you too that I love you more.”
“No. I love you more than you love me.” 
“Nope,” dramatically shaking his hair that’s now even messier. “I love you more than you think that I love you more than you think you love me more.”
Like on cue, a flying bird caws after shooting his argument. “Jaemin, I don’t think that makes sense.” 
“It wasn’t supposed to.”
It didn’t matter anyway. The only thing that does is your love for each other.
“Seriously, what do I do with you?”
“Kiss me again.”
How could you deny him when you wanted to just as much? 
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navi/masterlist!! 🤍
tags: @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @starlit-network 🌌⭐
please consider leaving feedback!! thank you for your time!!
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onlyangel4 · 1 month
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all night. ln4. smau + written.
lando norris x girlfriend!reader
request: What about a lando smau with “all night” by s-x & trippie red?? Thank you! 🫶
reader and lando are in that early stage of their relationship where they don't want to be apart. in which lando and y/n are two horny fuckers and the whole world needs to know about it
warnings: 18+. suggestive. cursing.
faceclaim: carlacia grant
y/bff posted a story
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written: d8 night @.yninsta
lando norris: y/bff you know how you love me and you love how happy i make y/n
y/bff: oh dear what do you want
landonorris: can you convince y/n to come to mine and not her apartment because i miss her but i don't want to be needy. i want to treat her to a beach day tomorrow
y/bff: so instead of asking your girlfriend you want me to trick her into going to yours
landonorris: yes exactly that
y/bff: you are unbelievable. she is on her way.
landonorris: thank you thank you
"you are fucking unbelievable", you spoke as soon as you opened the door to lando's apartment using the key he gave you the first month you were seeing each other. you had arrived to the house to find him peering out of the window like a puppy that had been left home alone for the first time.
"what do you mean my love", he whispered in your ear as his arms snaked around you middle, head finding its usual place in the crook of your neck allowing him to inhale your scent.
"you know exactly what i mean you had ybff heavily suggest that i come here instead of going home", you spoke trying to keep your resolve but the feeling of lando's thumbs rubbing your hips had your composure crumbling.
"and what proof do you have?"
"she showed me the messages"
"oh. well maybe i am guilty but it worked", he spoke as he began to scatter kisses across the side of your neck. "come on y/n let me show you how much i missed you my love", he spoke before gently nibbling on the soft skin of your neck, knowing that was all he needed to do for you to give in to him.
"you will be the death of me mister norris"
landonorris posted a private story
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written: guess i tired her out last night
y/bff: i know the caption is sexual but i am so fucking glad you didn't make a tea bag joke
landonorris: i wanted to but she wouldn't let me so this had to do
landonorris posted a story tagging y/ninsta
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written: aren't i just the luckiest guy in the world
y/ninsta posted a private story
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written: oops
landonorris posted a private story
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landonorris posted a private story
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written: this is y/n sulking because we were told we can't fuck in the helicopter
y/ninsta
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liked by landonorris, y/bff, oscarpiastri and 872,882 others
tagged landonorris
y/ninsta: had the best last few days at the beach with my lover
view all 17,633 comments
oscarpiastri: i'm so glad y'all are back those private stories were a bit much
user1: oh my god i wonder what they were
y/bff: i'm so glad you have finally found someone to match your freak
y/ninsta: he brings out the real freak in me
landonorris: gonna take you to the beach all the time just to see you in those pretty little bikini's
y/insta: i could always wear them around the house
landonorris: nah i like you naked around the house
user2: holy shit they are so fucking horny
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Stolen Goods 3
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Warnings: noncon and other dark elements. As usual, be mindful of your content consumption.
Ft. Lloyd Hansen, petite!pregnant reader
I also beg of you to leave me some tuppence in the form of a comment and/or reblog. You are cherished!
Enjoy, my loverlies.
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You hit the back of the trunk with your fist, the tires put to the limit as the man drives without caution. He's honked several times and screeched to many jarring halts. You're trapped in more than just that compartment, bouncing around with the groceries, you're enshrined in a fervour of fear and despair. 
Why is this happening to you? Who is this man? What is he going to do to you? 
Well, what has he already done? 
“Please, sir, I won't tell anyone,” you beg through the back seat, "please. Just take me back--" 
"Do you like classic rock? Jazz?" He asks as the car swerves and he switches lanes. Holy shoot, is he on the highway?  
"What? Please, I promise--" 
"You're distracting me, sweet stuff, you're gonna get us both pancaked by a sixteen-wheeler," he clucks, "just calm down and enjoy the music." 
He flips on the stereo and the local pop station plays. He hums along for a moment, "Ariana, nice." He turns up the familiar top ten and you whimper. 
This is surreal. You really can't believe it. It all happened so quickly. The way he touched you, the way you just stood there and let it happen, then how he just locked you in here! Who does that? Who lets someone do that? Who doesn't raise her voice and tell him to stop? Or ignore him and get in the car and drive away? 
You. You're stupid. You should have been patient and waited for Jake. You should have done so much differently.  
Your tears spring as easily as ever. Your hormones have you always ready to overflow and now seems as suiting as that cat food commercial. You crumble completely, giving up on begging, and bawl. You're going to die, your baby too. 
Maybe that's your fault too. You were so scared when you saw the positive. When you realised the condom broke. There was that split second you wished it wasn't true. When you hoped that it might undo itself. Then you wanted it. You still do. Your baby. Things aren't perfect but you can make them better. 
You jostle with the paper bags, wallowing in your resignation and dread. Time throttles you until it feels like the whole world is on your chest. You hug your belly and apologise to your child. You're supposed to take care of them. 
When the car stops, the sudden dearth of sound slaps you in the face. You sniffle and listen with breath bated. The driver's side opens and dips. He stands and his footfalls stride undaunted towards the trunk. 
You brace yourself. You can't give up yet. The lock clicks and the lid lifts. You push it up before he can open it all the way but he has his hand on your neck before you can leap out. 
"Oh, baby cakes," he squeezes and you cough, "you don't think I'm that stupid, do you?" 
The dimming sky shrouds his figure and he puts cold metal to your cheek, "you don't wanna get yourself hurt. Or the kid, huh?" He presses the metal barrel firmly to your temple, "I don't wanna hurt you either but you gotta give a little." 
"S-sorry," you choke out and latch onto his thick wrist, teetering on your knees as the rest against the edge of the trunk, "I---I--" 
"I know, baby. You're scared. Change is terrifying but I heard you talking to the deadbeat," he pulls the gun away and holsters it. He eases you forward and helps you put your feet to the ground. He keeps a strong hold on you, "you can do better." He smirks, "hi, I'm better, but you can call me Lloyd." 
You gape at him. Is that a joke? 
“And you are...” he enunciates your name. “Sorry about your purse, I tossed it some ditch, but I got the important shit out of it.” 
“Huh?” You blink at him dumbly. 
“Phone’s wiped too. So, I’ll probably just break that down for parts--” 
“Wait, what? Why—please, why are you doing this?” 
“I’m not too sure myself, shortcake, but we’ll figure it out.”  
He slips his hand down to your wrist and pulls you away from the car. He shuts the trunk and the noise echoes off the high ceiling. You look up at the interior of the garage. Several cars are parked in the space. What kind of place is this? 
“Come on, you don’t wanna hang out in here,” he snorts and tugs you to follow him. 
All you can do is let him guide you. You keep your free hand on your stomach as your eyes burn. You can’t give up. You have to keep going for your baby. 
He takes you up a short set of steps and into a house just as colossal as the garage. He looks down at your feet as you stand on the mat. He tuts. Your slides were lost somewhere in your struggle. Your feet are cold and dirty. 
“Hm, well... what now?” He asks. 
“What now?” You squeak. “What do you--” 
“Look, honey buns, I’m not asking you,” he turns and keeps his hand around your wrist, walking you forward as if you’re on a leash. 
You’re confused. What does he mean? He doesn’t even know what he’s doing. What kind of man just does this spontaneously? 
“Erm, Lloyd,” you say softly, “it’s... not too late to take me back.” 
“Ah, but you’re wrong, sweet stuff. It’s way too late,” he snickers. “I scrubbed the traffic cams and the surveillance at the grocery store. It’s all gone. You’re gone.” He stops you in a bright foyer and faces you, “I don’t give my toys back.” 
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doomsday ◦ h.j
—Sometimes doomsday wasn't the crumbling of a city; doomsday was an apocalypse of the mind
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@anon im so glad you requested this bc I literally loved writing it so much like it fr had my creative juices FLOWING so feel free to request anytime babes
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Paring ◦ Han x reader
Words ◦ 5231
Genre ◦ Hurt and comfort, ngl this angsty asf
Warnings ◦ han is a dick at the beginning but he is redeemed, panic attacks, language (like fr so many fucks in this its wild), talk about wasting your life, anxiety, fear, han is such a cunt at first its insane, not edited, uhhh I think that's it.
A/N ◦ This one is chaotic asf so if you don't like my chaotic writing this is definitely where you might wanna click off 💀ALSO IF YOU LIKED THIS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME like it literally doesn't have to be much you can just be like it was pretty cool
~CookieCreates🍪
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Sometimes it felt like Han gave away the numbers of the clock like dollar bills, bartering off a life that only ever seemed to be rushing away like a river roaring down the rocks too fast. He scoops little moments out from the shimmering rapids, but time still trickles between his fingers; the hours melting together like wax dripping down the spindly hands, its bony fingers-
reaching
reaching
r e a c h i n g
out to him, pulling him into a pool at the bottom of his feet, a pool of glittering, glowing memories.
Is this all life is?
Working
Stressing
Never sleeping
Never eating
Is the praise worth it?
Those hopeless nights, endless days, tired eyes, and a mind made of mush—was it all worth it?
Was any of it worth it?
The roar of the crowds drowning out the sound of the seconds-
tick
tick
ticking away, the shuffle of the sand seeping into the bottom of the hourglass—he taps the crystal dome, wondering how much of it is left—wondering when it all will stop.
When he can stop.
Han was a fizzing bottle of soda—shook for too long—today was hard; every day before a comeback is: producing, singing, dancing, learning, watching, waiting-
Checking off boxes on a list that never ended, so when he finally walks into the door of your shared apartment, a room he feels like he hasn't seen in weeks, he doesn't really notice you anxiously sitting on the couch, your knees bouncing on the floor mindlessly-
snapping
snapping
snapping
on the linoleum, something so simple shouldn't set him off, sure, but the sound was so familiar—so scary—it vibrated in his head, booming in his brain seconds-
ticking
ticking
ticking away
your feet
snapping
snapping
snapping on the ground.
He comes home to get away from the world rushing out from under him, so why were you sitting there being so fucking-
“Hannie!” You beam, sprinting over to throw your arms around his neck, breathing his scent in. It feels like centuries since you've seen him last. You vibrate with nervous, excited energy, practically bouncing up and down; but the thing was, right now he didn't want to be touched.
He didn't want to be held
He didn't want to have to talk
He didn't want to have to remember he had a life outside of the bubble that was his work. It felt like he was tending to gardens he didn't know how to grow. Your relationship had already sprouted; the seed planted a while ago, but even though the delicate stages of its development had passed, that didn't mean that it still didn't have to be cared for, and right now, he didn't care about anything. 
It was selfish, sure, but when you've spent your whole life giving parts of yourself away, selfishness seems so easy, at least while you still have small slivers of your soul left. 
He grates his teeth, everything seeming so wholly overwhelming, the walls encapsulating him in an unbreakable hourglass. He was so stressed, so tired, so done, so trapped. His breath stutters when you squeeze him tighter, nuzzling your nose against his shirt, staring up at him expectantly, eyes shimmering. 
"I haven't hugged you in forever I missed your face" you giggle voice like clouds of cotton candy but not quite sweet enough to dull the sour feeling settling in his stomach
He knows that love should never feel this hard, but right now everything he did felt hard, and the way you stare at him so longingly like you're going to combust if he doesn't perform, put on a fake smile, and act like everything is okay makes him feel like a fizzing bottle of soda with a lid screwed on too tight, and when you grip him tighter, trying to push an answer out of him
He flips his lid. 
"Holy shit, y/n, do you have to be so bombarding?" He snaps, pushing your arms away from him, almost looking disgusted. Your smile slips, staring at him in shock, still not really registering what he said. 
He doesn't know what feels worse—the way your features tremble with hurt or the way he knows he doesn't care. 
"I'm tired; I just want to go to bed, okay, and you are immediately rushing me; every day as soon as I get through the door, it's exhausting."
"You can't be serious," you whisper, genuinely believing what you said. He couldn't be serious. There was no way in hell he really believed that, but it didn't matter if he believed it or not; it all still hurt the same.
He wishes he could overlook the flames that flare in your eyes, consuming the stars that always seemed to shimmer.
What did he just do?
He sighs, collapsing onto the couch, digging the palms of his hands into his drooping eyes. He was so scared; the fear loosing his lips and everybody knows words of fear are the greatest lies. 
"Yes, I'm serious. Do you know how much work you are? I work all day, work, work, work, work everybody needs me always wanting, always needing something, something, fucking something," he growls, smacking his hands against his thighs, thrown into an unexplainable rage. "And as soon as I get home, you need me too; everybody is so fucking needy." The next words he says feel like an earthquake erupted in your soul, splitting your heart in two. 
"Your so fuckin' needy."
You flutter your eyelashes shut, pushing back emotions that boil in your brain. There are so many feelings fighting for the light, but instead of screaming, crying, or lashing out, you take a deep breath and fold your arms, calmly asking 
"Then why don't you just break up with me then?" There is nothing more terrifying than a woman whose fire rages behind a veil of ice, but when he looks up, watching the flames wrap around your posture, wisping around every edge of your bones, and even with the ashes of the love you once had for him fluttering in the wind, he still opens his big, fat, fucking mouth. 
"Or maybe I should have just never asked you out in the first place." No sooner did he spit the sentence out, did he want to shove it right back in his mouth. Your shoulders droop, eyes filling with an almost impossible amount of pain.
The earth crumbles, the walls of your shared home collapsing around you, rubble lost in all the memories that flicker away like embers floating from the burning configuration that was your relationship. It was ironic how the world worked; it took years to build up the love you felt and only a single sentence to wash it all away. You never thought you would see armageddon, but when those letters left his lips, you quickly realized sometimes doomsday wasn't the crumbling of a city; doomsday was an apocalypse of the mind. 
"Okay," you croak, hot tears streaming down your face; a wobbly smile pulls at your lips almost out of habit, facial muscles forced out of memory. 
You have never once imagined yourself drowning under so many words left unsaid, sinking in the waves of tears you fought back, and as you trudged up the stairs, sinking into your bed, you wondered when you would hear the begrudging footsteps—the hesitant knocks. Wondered when you'd hear his soft apology—a voice racked with guilt—but your fantasy never came.
All you heard was the clicking of the clock behind you, counting down the hours where he disappointed you again and again
You don't know what got to you first—the peirce of realization that he didn't regret the bitter insults that left his lips so easily or when you saw the calendar that peaked from the corner of your closet-
5 days
5 days left unmarked
5 days left blank
5 days until you celebrated your 3 year anniversary
Han Jisung would never know you were counting down the days
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Han should have runned after you, and in perspective, after a good night's sleep and a nice warm meal, he has never felt so completely stupid for not, but after you trudged up the stairs with a pained smile and glassy eyes, he was so starkly shocked he had said something so disgustingly distasteful his feet stuck to the ground, and finally, after hours of staring at the pool of time bubbling by his shoes, he drifted into a restless sleep. 
It was as though his terror tainted him, making the glassy parts of his heart dirty, and when he took the edge off, it was like a harsh wipe away at all the murk, revealing his jarring reflection in the pearly mirror.
He was such a jerk
He whimpers, running anxious fingers through his hair. He has no viable excuse, no good reason why he treated you so poorly—for someone so obsessed with time, he should know that you can't get your life back—can't turn the hands of the clock 
Push rewind
Hit replay
For what value would life be if you could just start it all over again? The impossibility made all the precious moments sweeter, but like every good thing, it made memories like these all the more foul.
You didn't deserve that
He didn't deserve you
and as you slink down the stairs, eyes red-rimmed and puffy. He can't stop that booming voice biting at the back of his brain.
How long will it take you before you realize that too?
You flick your gaze to him, burning with loathing cloaked behind layers of indifference. It floors him—those subtle signs of hatred that swim in the back of your eyelids, hidden in small twitches of your features, your almost tangibly cut off, throwing up your walls, shutting him out in more ways than one.
He had always worried about the gardens he was growing; flowers that sprung around him rapidly, fighting to figure out which one to water first, and all while your petals wilted and your roots curled up-
You waited
You watched as he bled himself dry. He shutters, everything bursting before his eyes—the love you once had for him flickering like the last flashes of a dying star. You're a million miles away, dancing on the craters of the moon, fluttering around the twinkling rings of Saturn. He folds himself deeper into the couch, almost hoping it will swallow him whole—pull him into the burning inferno beneath—even hell would be cooler than the fire that was your gaze.  Han Jisung never thought he'd see the day when the galaxy would collapse, but staring at you, flaring your final goodbyes, he realizes that doomsday was closer than he thought. 
"Baby," he whispers, his voice heavy with guilt, how easy it is to start a fire when you don't care about putting it out, but now that the wisps of flame consume you, he wishes he had never given you the kindling. 
You don't look at him as you walk around the kitchen, pouring a bowl of cereal. He stands up hesitantly, anguish feeling like an iron rod through his chest. He creeps into the kitchen, stepping lightly into the room like it's laced with landmines. 
"Please." His voice cracks—splits right down the middle, a perfect reflection of the cleave that was his soul. "I'm so sorry."
You place the cereal back in the cabinet and open the fridge to retrieve the milk.
The silence is deafening.
The all too familiar-
tick
tick
tick
of time trickling away rings in his ears
How much more of it does he have left?
How much more of this silence can he take?
You ignore him, strolling right past his trembling frame, racked with regret. It pulsates off his in palpable waves. You're so nonchalant so careless. He almost wants you to turn around and smack him, throw that stupid bowl of cereal in his face. Instead, you jog up the stairs, slamming the door behind you.
Is that the only door you shut?
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Han had always thought of the apocalypse as an idea only found in novels, tucked away behind the pages of a book, hidden in the comfortable corner of science fiction, because that's all it was, right— fiction? But as your dead eyes scrape his figure up and down, he realizes that Doomsday wasn't really fiction at all. Just like the world wasn't always a place, sometimes the world was a person, and right now his world was ravaged by a deadly disease, an illness that only infected the soul, an illness only transferred through the careless bitter words found in the English language. Fire was nature's greatest purifier, and sure, the walls of the home he lived in weren't warped with flames of your fury, but the home he had made in your heart was 
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It's been 3 days
3 days since he's felt the touch of another human. 
3 days since he made the biggest mistake of his lifetime.
3 days since he dropped a devasting bomb on your relationship, and the shrapnel was finally hitting him; curled pieces of cold metal lodged somewhere in between the folds of his soul. 
3 brutal bone-crushing days of pure ear-splitting silence—It was almost scientifically impossible, just how quiet you were. It was an art really, every brush of anguish accurately painted on—every ignored apology, every piercing glare, every single star that flickered out in your eyes. You were strategic, meticulous, you were plain vicious-
and you had every right to be.
You were fully justified in your actions, and yet he felt like he was still teetering over the edge of madness. The thought of losing you like a noose snaking around his neck, choking him in an unadulterated form of terror 
He has been stricken by anxiety his whole life, but the thought of a world without you filled him with an inexplicable amount of fear—the kind that burrows in your bones, decaying in your soul—the kind of terror that your still stuck digging from your skin for centuries to come—the kind of fear that makes you simply
panic.
His hands shake as he pushes the door open, feeling like he's walking into an open war. The pages of a dystopia form walls around him, caging him inside a bombarding capsule of storming English. 
The harsh contrast of the hurricane in his mind and the indifference in your eyes sends him reeling. You were lying on the couch, mindlessly flipping through the channels, not sparing him a glance.
You were so beautiful so breathtaking, but for once, he wasn't admiring your beauty.
He was
falling
apart. 
Oh, fuck, he was freaking out. 
He had finally caved under the pressure of always having to perform a false, flimsy smile, wobbling on his lips, pretending to be okay as he watched the life drain out of your eyes; the passion seeping from his songs.
He loved making music, but what is art without chaos?
What is beauty without love?
What is the world without you?
He always had to be perfect; he always had to be put together. He was always running on all cylinders, always hanging on by a fraying straining thread, and finally, it snapped. 
The earth is
t i l t i n g,
flipping around,
turning upside down, and
i n s i d e o u t.
Guilt rips through his chest, yanking out harsh bouts of oxygen from his constricting lungs. 
He can't breathe
He can't breathe
He can't breathe
He can't fucking
b
r
e
a
t
h
e
He was going to die-
He was going to collapse into himself, busting into a flaring supernova. 
He was going to be his own demise-
Forming his own doomsday-
He has never thought of himself as an author, but before he could stop his mouth from moving, he was already caged between the sentences of his own personal apocalypse, living a waking nightmare.
He created a story with his stupidity, and now he has to pay the price. 
He was the end of your relationship-
what has he done?
He can't b r e a t h e
"Y-Y/n I can't," he choked on his words, watching the walls wash away like watercolor dripping down the page. 
He can't lose you
He can't lose you
He can't lose you
He's going to die
He stumbles into the living room, tripping over his feet, his breath staggering in his throat. He catches himself on the arm of the couch, digging his nails into the soft leather, gripping it like it was his tether, keeping him from floating into space—burning up in the atmosphere, his body bouncing around the icy rocks. 
"Fuck," he gasps, squeezing his eyes shut and clawing at his chest, almost as if he scratches his skin hard enough, he can finally pull out the hourglass that keeps ticking his time away. His heart pounded wildly, almost begging to be free from the confines of his ribcage. The fact that it was still beating was beyond him. 
His heart only beats for you.
His heart will only ever beat for you.
How was he alive when you were drifting away? moon dust dancing in your lungs, would you become a ruler of the skies, while he was still stood still? 
"Han," your voice sounds like cotton candy kisses and honey dribbles. He never thought he would ever be so happy to hear somebody so alarmed, but right now that was the only thing keeping him from shattering. 
You jump up from the couch, your face pulled in concern. 
He doesn't deserve it
Doesn't deserve it
Doesn't deserve it
He's drowning in a pool of his self-inflicted sorrows. He's sinking, and the only thing that could save him was you. 
How do you save a man who won't take your hand?
"N-No, im okay," he barley pushes the words out, weaving between the thick lump that's forming in his throat. 
It was a lie
Everything was a lie
That's all he was
a liar
"Han," your voice is warm and inviting, sucking him in, wrapping around him like a blanket in the cold, a bowl of soup to a sick stomach. You healed him even when he was the one who created the wound. You pull him in, taking his trembling frame into your arms. Gentle fingers thread through his hair as soft lullabied wispers float through the air.
He feels so safe
So secure-
So loved-
He never thought he would feel the tenderness of your touch again, so when your comforting arms squeeze him right off the edge of destruction, 
He
c o l l a p s e s
crumbling into a million sobbing, sniveling pieces before you, he sinks to the ground, dragging you along with him. 
He always brought you down-
Always took you with him-
He was a disease-
An infection-
He was your armageddon
He sags against your body, limply moving like a rag doll. You let him curl into your chest, holding him like pieces of pierced punctuation. 
You guys were a shattered semicolon inverted and upside down. 
There was so much he wanted to say—so many apologies, so many explanations, so many different synonyms for sorry—but you didn't need them; you never needed them; you needed him, and there was nothing he could ever say that would change that. 
You hum, rubbing soothing circles on his back. You were always the perfect metaphor, a marveling form of pristine poetry. Your touch was like fleeting promises on the skin, the delicate tickle of a blooming flower, the comfortable heat of a burning star. You weren't just his world; you were his universe.
He pulls you closer to him, clinging like a desperate dying animal, nuzzling his face in your neck. 
"I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so fucking sorry!" He blubbers the sentences onto your skin, as though the deeper he burrows into your body, the faster they can travel to your heart. 
"Han," you lull, a small smile grazing your face, physically having to claw him off of you. He does begrudgingly, a minuscule whimper tumbling out of his throat from the lack of contact; he doesn't meet your eyes. He can't—not when the clock still ticks your time away, not when he's still not fully sure that you're willing to turn the hands back. 
He's devastated, his eyes red and puffy with tears that cascade down his cheeks, shining in the overhead light. 
"Please don't leave me." He sniffles, rubbing his nose against the fabric of his shirt, bottom lip trembling. "I don't want our time to run out. All my time is running out. Everything is running out. I can't, I-" he stutters, tripping over letters that latch onto his teeth like cactuses digging into his lips. 
You furrow your brows, tilting your head in sympathetic confusion. "What do you mean, baby?"
He screws his eyes shut, his hands shaking almost aggressively on his thighs. Why did he say anything? How does he explain something like that? He tries to form the words on his tongue, but they stick to the roof of his mouth like glue. Speaking it into the universe makes it so much more real, so much more raw, because now it isn't a metaphor, a fictional little whisper that fucks with his mind. 
The earth quivers in its orbit as he opens his mouth-
Was he really going to admit this?
Was he even ready to admit this?
"It feels like my life is running out," he stammers, the words tasting so sour on his tongue. "My life is so stressful; everybody always needs something from me, and sometimes it feels like I'm dishing out so many slivers of my soul that I don't even have any of it left." He lets out a shaky breath, attempting to get his heart rate somewhere that resembles normal. 
"I'm always up, always working, always doing something, and it's scary to think while I'm wasting my life working so hard doing something I don't really love." He aggressively wipes the tear that drops down his cheek with the palm of his hand. "It's so scary wondering if I'm ever making the right decisions." 
He feels so small under your gaze.
"A-And the other day was so hard," he cries, fresh waves of tears blurring his vision as he reminisces on the events. 
"Everybody was yelling at me, always needing something demanding so fucking much; they were playing puppet, forcing my hands in a way they didn't want to move; everybody was so just so needy-"
"And so was I," you whisper, filled with guilt. It breaks him. Your so understanding, so loving, so forgiving, so perfect. 
How did he even get you?
His heart wrenches as he dives into your arms-
"No, no, no, no," he shouts, shaking his head against your shirt. "No, love, you didn't do anything wrong; it was me. Me and my shitty mood—it was all my fault. I blew up at you. You were trying to be the amazing, loving girlfriend you are, and what I said was solely because of my fear. The exhaustion and anger didn't exactly help either"
"But there are no more buts," he pulls away, catching your eyes burning with sincerity. "There is no excuse for the way I treated you; there is no justification, just explanation."
You smile, tilting your head in adoration. You would be lying if you didn't say you were relieved, because you were.  You thought he believed the words he said—what feels like forever ago—that you were the annoying, needy girlfriend that only ever bugged him, but he didn't believe what he said. No, he was just a ticking time bomb waiting to blow—a ball of stressed and nervous energy channeled into the wrong source. 
"It's okay, Hannie, really, we're okay"
He was a supernova—a burning, bursting flame of bright, beautiful colors 
Han had once thought that the stars in your eyes had flickered away, but now he knows even the most enchanting things have to die before they can transform. 
He loves you.
He has loved you for 2 years and 363 days.
He will love you until the world goes up in flames. 
He will love you until the planet bleeds with the wounds of armageddon. 
"Does this mean we can still celebrate our 3-year anniversary?" He asks sheepishly, looking up at you through fluttering eyelashes. You perk up, visibly brightening. 
"You remembered!"
"I never forgot." he smiles, eyes shimmering with hope.
"I've been counting down the days," you grin.
"So have I," but he hasn't been counting down the days until you celebrate 3 beautiful years on this planet together. No, he's been counting down the days until his body slips into the grave, but as he presses his ear to your heart, it feels like the steady beats were a swelling symphony orchestrated just for him. He sighs contently, nuzzling deeper into your chest. The terrifying tick of the clock faded away, drowned out by the song of your soul whispering sweet promises into his ear. Sure, the fear still tickled the back of his brain, but instead of worrying that time was trickling away, he pulls you closer because with you, there was never a wasted moment. 
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©CookieCreates (posted: July, 9th 2024) All rights reserved. Do not translate, copy, or claim my works as yours! I only post on this platform so if any of my works are elsewhere, report and notify me immediately
~cookie🍪
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oddinary4bts · 2 months
Text
Chasing Cars | ch 11.5 (jjk)
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☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters contain mature content)
☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff
☆warnings: the events of ch 11 in jk's pov
☆word count: 1.2k
☆a/n: this one made me sad :( hope you guys like it! I've purposefully not put the full explanation bc it hits better later in the story sooo sorry about that. also just a note that depression sucks and I hope none of you guys have to deal with it and, if you do, please know that you aren't alone <3
☆series masterpost
☆☆☆☆☆
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
☆☆☆☆☆
Jungkook is annoyed. He’s been annoyed all day, and he really just wants to go home.
To go home to you.
“What’s got you sulking?” Jimin asks, and four pairs of eyes shoot towards Jungkook.
Indeed, they are at the restaurant for lunch, Gabrielle having joined them to eat on her lunch break from her internship. 
“Nothing,” Jungkook says, grabbing his glass of water and taking a long sip.
Taehyung frowns, yet remains silent. It’s been happening a lot frequently, and Jungkook has truly, really been annoyed by it.
“Missing OC?” Jimin teases, wiggling his eyebrows and earning a punch in the shoulder by Sera.
“Shut up,” she says as Jungkook clenches his jaw.
“Will you please fucking stop with that?” Jungkook lets out, unable to keep his ire from his voice.
Jimin’s gaze widens, and then he laughs. “Why are you getting so worked up?”
“Maybe because you’ve been a little shit about this the whole week?”
“You’re aware it’s making it seem like it’s true…”
“Stop, Jimin,” Sera intervenes, her tone stern and authoritative.
The only tone Jimin ever listens to. Indeed, Jimin stops, pouting, and he mumbles an apology. Jungkook ignores it, his gaze shifting to Taehyung, and he doesn’t miss the muscle feathering under Taehyung’s skin as he clenches his jaw.
“What?” Jungkook spits, unable to help himself.
“You fucking my sister?”
Jungkook lets out a bitter laugh, his heart clenching in his chest. “Nope. You guys need to fucking leave me alone is all.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes, but doesn’t say anything. This time, it’s Ariane’s turn to talk, and she does so with a pointed glare at Taehyung.
“I thought we said yesterday that we weren’t going to talk about her anymore.”
They did. Because scenes like this one have been happening the whole trip, and Jungkook really just wants to go home. The thought sticks around all day, up until they’ve had their shares of drink back at the Air Bnb, not feeling like going out.
Maybe Jungkook’s foul mood has been contributing to everyone’s lack of enthusiasm about going out, but he wouldn’t complain. He’d much rather stay at the Air Bnb, where he doesn’t have to avoid girls coming up to him trying to flirt.
Except Gabrielle. Though it’s not like that with Gabrielle, and he knows she’s a safe space. As much as someone can be without knowing about you - he reckons his only true safe space is you.
Perhaps that’s why he ends up sitting in his room with Gabrielle while the others chill in the living room. Partly to catch up, but also mostly to laugh at the absurdity of their parents wanting them to marry, as if they ever would.
“They’re crazy,” Gabrielle repeats for the hundredth time. “Complètement fou.”
Jungkook nods. “It’s nothing new. They’ve been like that since high school.”
Gabrielle chuckles, turning her head towards Jungkook. “Is your dad still an asshole?”
Jungkook winces, because he feels like his father has only been getting worse and worse with time, finding new ways to put Jungkook through hell all the time. Though the ignoring has been better than the fights and the constant insults he’d used to receive when he was younger, if he’s being honest.
“Yup. You really think someone like him could change for the better?”
Gabrielle slightly shakes her head. “Nah. People like our parents will die as shitty as they were the day they were born.”
Jungkook likes to think that his parents weren’t always like this. That, perhaps they were just corrupted by money growing up. But then again he can’t reconcile the image of his parents being kind to the one that he knows, that he’s known all his life.
So instead, he raises his beer. “Cheers to that.”
There’s a silence as Gabrielle drinks from the wine bottle she carried to the bedroom when they left the rest of the group back in the living room. Jungkook’s thoughts trail to you, and he wonders what you’re up to right now. You mentioned you were going out with your friends - are you already with them, or are you at home thinking about him like he’s thinking about you, too?
“What’s going on with Taehyung’s sister?” Gabrielle asks out of the blue.
Jungkook freezes like a deer in headlights. And though he wishes to say everything, to tell Gabrielle about what he feels for you, he knows he can’t. Not as long as you haven’t said it’s okay to talk about it.
And not when Gabrielle would likely tell Ariane, and Ariane would then tell Taehyung.
“Not you too,” Jungkook grumbles, and he hopes Gabrielle can’t spy the blush slowly dusting his cheeks, up to the tip of his ears.
“I’m just wondering!” Gabrielle says, and she lets out a small laugh before pushing a blonde strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ve seen pictures, I feel like she would be your type.”
Jungkook makes a noncommittal sound as he shrugs his shoulders.
“So?” Gabrielle presses.
“So what?”
She rolls her eyes, laughing again. “Is something going on between you and her?”
Jungkook takes a deep breath, preparing himself to lie to the one person that he’s never had to lie to before. “No.”
Gabrielle remains silent, the weight of her gaze on his profile heavy, and then she sighs. “Then, can I ask for your help?”
He stiffens. “What for?”
He knows what to expect - it’s the same as back when they were in high school, and she’d needed his help more than once then. Though he’d used not to mind, this time he hates it. So much so that he gets up, heading towards the door.
“Please,” Gabrielle says, stopping him with a hand on his wrist. “S’il-te-plait, Jungkook.”
“No,” he reaffirms, turning to face her. He thinks of you, thinks of the last time he kissed you, and wishes he was with you right now. “I can’t do this again.”
“Just this once,” she insists. “And then I will never ever ask that of you again.”
He thinks of the years. He thinks of Gabrielle defending him when his father insulted him during a dinner, or that time at the charity. He thinks about every night they’d fallen asleep in the same bed dreaming about a day where they wouldn’t have to worry about their family’s influence anymore. He’d thought she’d be okay now, independent as she was, but it seems she hasn’t escaped the pressure of her family yet, much like him.
“Gaby, I really can’t…” he trails off, scanning her features, hoping that she’ll understand, that she’ll know you are in his life and would never do something like that to you.
“Please,” Gaby says, her gaze begging.
He hates himself. He always has, more than he’d ever care to admit, but Jungkook hates himself too much for what he says next.
“Just this once.”
It’s like the universe was planning for this to happen anyway. Indeed, there’s laughter behind the door, and Gabrielle immediately grabs his face, pulling him down into a kiss. Jungkook closes his eyes, tells himself that you’ll understand, that he won’t lose you. 
When Gabrielle pulls away, looking just as uncomfortable as him, Jungkook whispers, “Don’t ever fucking do that again.”
It’s easy, after, to pretend that the tears in his eyes are caused by Gabrielle. Even as Taehyung claps him on the shoulder as if to congratulate him, Jungkook doesn’t have to hide how much he aches from the inside out.
Gabrielle leaves, and Jungkook goes to bed right away, wishing to be able to skip time until he can see you again.
Until he can prove to himself that he hasn’t lost you.
Read chapter eleven here!
☆☆☆☆☆
:((((( i hate myself for hurting the babies so much.. please come scream at me
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.
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whateverisbeautiful · 29 days
Text
♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL
#37: The Good Kind Heart (1.04)
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gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail
This scene right here just exudes warmth and I love it so much. 🥰 It was food for the soul seeing Richonne all cuddled up like they've always loved to do. And best of all, it was great to see them finally having a heartwarming conversation about their baby 🥹...
Danai wrote some of the best dialogue since The Walking Dead’s prime. It’s excellent and her pen was especially on fire in the remainder of this bedroom scene, featuring my favorite Richonne content ever. 🔥
Like a lengthy scene with just Rick and Michonne in bed and fantastic dialogue - that is my exact cup of tea and I see exactly why it was said that this episode was for us. And it's for anyone who enjoys quality content too. 😊
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So first; the visual of Rick and Michonne holding hands in bed just instantly makes me so happy. 🥰 I love how they feel right at home being back in each other's arms. And it's sweet seeing them be so at peace even despite the fact that this building is on the verge of going down. Again, when they're together the world and crumbling buildings can wait. 👌🏽
And I’ve always said it cuz it’s always been true - in each other's arms is where these two are most meant to be. 😌
Then, it never fails to elate me to hear that the first thing Rick says is, “He looks like me?” 🥲 Now there is the man I know who would absolutely want to talk about his son.😊 And it’s so cute the content way he says it.
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gif cred: @riickgrimes
I love that he asks this question specifically too. Because RJ really is his mini-me and it’s like he’s getting this joy in knowing that he definitely contributed to that little boy even if he hasn’t been around to raise him.
Michonne laughs when he asks because she knows RJ is Rick’s little twin. And then Rick makes Michonne laugh again when he teases, “So he’s really good-looking?” 😊
First - I love seeing Richonne back to laughing and being lighthearted. Second; there’s never been a cuter couple ever. They're just perfect together inside and out. Third; it always tickles me that Danai wrote something that acknowledges how attractive Rick/Andy is lol. I mean, the fineness needed to be recognized. 😌
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gif cred: @riickgrimes
It is so sweet the way Rick’s face lights up when he makes Michonne laugh and how she’s always just so smitten by him.
Another thing I always love seeing in this moment is just how comfy Michonne seems. Like she just appears so gorgeously glowy and relaxed and like she’s been able to return to herself in a new way after their moment of intimacy. And a lot of that is because her safe space is back. 🥲
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gif cred: @perryabbott
And now that he's stopped trying to act like what they have is broken, Rick also just seems so refreshingly relaxed and released from at least a little bit of the pain he'd been carrying.
Michonne answers him saying, “It’s nuts how much he looks like you. Save for the light brown skin it’s hard to tell I had anything to do with it - Oh but he does have my eyes.” This is the Richonne parents' content I signed up for! 🙌🏽
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gif cred: @riickgrimes
I adore seeing Rick and Michonne finally get to just talk as RJ’s mom and dad and happily chat about the features they gave their baby. 😭
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gif cred: @riickgrimes
And I feel like TWD and TOWL def gave enough indication that Michonne’s eyes are one of Rick’s favorite things so I love that he gets to learn that his son has her eyes. I’m just beaming watching how precious this whole exchange is.🥰
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gif cred: @riickgrimes
I love how attentive Rick is as she tells him about their son and how Michonne always has such a radiance about her when speaking about her kids. 
And then Rick, knowing who RJ is made up of, has a strong feeling he knows one of his son’s traits when he asks/says, “And he’s stubborn?” I love the way he asks it like he already knows the answer. 😋
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gif cred: @riickgrimes
And Michonne’s face again lights up as she immediately nods and says, “Just like his daddy, yes.” So so so cute. 🥹
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I love the melodic way she says it and the way Rick instantly laughs because even tho he knows he was asking based on who RJ’s mom is, he also knows she’s right about him being stubborn.
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gif cred: @riickgrimes
You can very visibly see how much Rick likes hearing that his son is just like his daddy.
But then it becomes even cuter when Rick says, “Like his mama” and kisses Michonne's shoulder. Y’all, 🫠.
Inject this whole moment into my veins, please. Their smiles here are everything and hearing them call each other RJ’s daddy and mama. The absolute best. 😭
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gif cred: @riickgrimes
Rick’s “like his mama” with the shoulder kiss and Michonne’s smile live rent-free in my head for real. I love it. They’re so tender and warm with each other even when teasing and it’s perfect. Andy and Danai really made every right choice in this entire scene. 🤩
I adore how Rick and Michonne both think the other is stubborn but that they so clearly love that about each other. And it’s true - Richonne is stubborn as all get out which was clear throughout this episode especially. But it works because with each other they’re always willing to eventually meet each other where they’re at.
In season 10, Michonne told Ezekiel that she and him wouldn't have worked out because they’re both too stubborn and I remember back then thinking 'Rick is stubborn too tho'...but Rick and Michonne’s brand of stubbornness actually complements each other well.
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(And Rick is stubborn but 99% of the time he's not stubborn with Michonne 😋)
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Richonne basically survived that CRM helicopter crash because of their stubbornness - Rick being stubborn about getting Michonne home alive led him to talk to her cash crazy which then led Michonne, who was stubborn about not leaving without him, to yank them both out of the helicopter.
And even tho RJ didn’t have many scenes in TWD I feel like his adorable stubbornness was still hinted at occasionally. Like how Daryl told Michonne that RJ was refusing to eat his vegetables.
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And this year I saw a s11 clip where RJ covers for Judith and the little guy will not spill his big sister's whereabouts. It’s cute. 😊 He gets his stubbornness from both his parents.
Also, I like how knowing RJ is stubborn and good-looking is how Rick most knows this is a Richonne baby. Those are two strong qualities Rick and Michonne both possess lol. And I love that Rick already seems like such a proud dad over RJ and proud knowing that his son's mom is Michonne. 🥰
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gif cred: @nat111love
After years of wanting to see Rick and Michonne joyfully talk about their kid it was so so special to see that finally play out here.
And then this scene was already giving me everything I wanted with Richonne being all happy, playful, and snuggly while talking about their baby boy, and then it gets just a million times sweeter when Michonne then turns toward him and softly says, “He does have your good kind heart though. That’s what reminds me the most of you.” Absolutely Beautiful. 🥹
Like the visual with Richonne wrapped in each other's arms and their faces so close together, the words, the delivery, the lighting, the moment, all just so beautiful. 👏🏽
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gif cred: @riickgrimes
I adore hearing Michonne tell Rick that their son has his heart. And the Richonne tones are back in full force which you know I’m always here for. It’s also so powerful for Michonne to say this cuz there were a few moments in this episode where Rick’s good kind heart was MIA but Michonne never stopped believing in his heart.
She knows that his good kind side is still in there because it can’t help but show itself like in the moments Rick would check on her while they were running through the building.
It’s also so sweet that this means whenever Michonne would see RJ being good and kind, she would see Rick. 😭
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And Michonne has an extremely good kind heart too but she loves Rick so much that for her she feels like RJ got that heart from her husband. 🥲
She says it so sincerely too and it’s clear Rick’s good kind heart is something she loves most about him and her son. Me too. 🙋🏽‍♀️
And seeing Michonne smile as she shares this, the love for her boys is so evident. When she says it too it just feels like something she’s been longing to tell Rick for years - That their son has his heart.
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I adore that Rick gets to know that while he and Michonne have been apart, she hasn’t been entirely without him because every day she got to wake up to his little mini-me who had his smile, stubbornness, and most of all, and best of all, his good kind heart. She still had a piece of Rick’s heart, flesh, and blood with her. RJ is such a gift. 🥹
It’s also so sweet to then see Rick’s response to his wife’s beautiful words about him and their son. The way Rick looks at Michonne after she says this, you know he heard the ‘I love you’ in her words.
I really get the sense that Rick too is moved by how much Michonne loves and believes in his good kind heart even despite some of his previous treatment this ep. There’s a reason Rick’s dreams constantly reminded him of Michonne’s belief in him because she really does support and believe in him like no other. 
So then another top tier Richonne moment occurs when Rick then raises up and pulls Michonne closer to him as they share this precious look and have their most precious kiss. 😍 Like to say I adore this whole moment is an understatement.
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I of course always love Richonne’s hungry make-out sessions but something about those sweet and simple single kisses is just as mesmerizing. 🤩
And this one here - I call it the “Baby, we made a baby” Kiss, because the way Rick and Michonne look at each other and smile and then have this tender kiss, it just feels like a moment of them sharing in the joyous acknowledgment that they really did have that baby they dreamed about.
I love how as Rick pulls her closer before the kiss she like softly hits his chest. Then I really love the way they look at each other after the kiss. It is just sweetness personified to see them both be so taken by each other and present in this moment. 😍
Rick is in full lover-boy mode the way he smiles at her, bites his lip a little, and rubs her stomach. I loved seeing that movement after he didn’t get a chance to be there to rub her stomach during the pregnancy. 🥲 In this moment it just feels like he’s so aware and appreciative that Michonne carried his child.
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gif cred: @nat111love
And Michonne’s smile up at him. 🥹 Just so much love communicated. Also, I always love that the bullet casing can be seen in her hair. After all those years of finding these little ways to stay close to Rick, now here he is with her in this bed as close as can be. Won’t He Do It. 🙌🏽
And then y’all, since they’re always in sync they’re both ready for a hot and heavy round two when they go in for that second kiss. 😏
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gif cred: @lousolversons
I love how quickly they’re ready to match each other's energy with Rick starting to lift the sheet off her and Michonne putting her hands in his hair before reaching down somewhere and wrapping her legs around him which...
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That second kiss is instantly hot and they are both fully ready to go another round…but then a hilarious interruption occurs when that roomba comes riding in with its beeping noises. And Rick’s startled reaction is comedy. 😂
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gif cred: @taiturner
Michonne thinks Rick’s reaction to the cleaning device is humorous too as she lifts up and laughs, explaining to her country-boy husband that it’s just a Roomba. Rick looks straight up bewildered as Michonne tells him about Roombas and what they do.
And of course, the modern city girl Michonne had one herself from before. I love even learning little details like this about Michonne’s pre-ZA life. 😊
Like anytime Michonne drops a new detail about her life before, even about cleaning tools she used to own, my extra self is always intrigued and all-ears like...
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Michonne says, “That explains why it’s so spotless” as she gives Rick another amused look and lays back down. It’s cute how you can tell she finds his perplexity cute here. 😋
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And so while the Roomba distracted them from another round a bit, there still could have been hope of them maybe picking up where they left off…but then this next conversation happens and we’re reminded Richonne still has a whole lot to unpack. 🤕
As for this good kind heart scene tho - Perfection. Loved every second of it and it just portrayed so much of what makes Richonne such a beautiful pairing. 👏🏽 Seeing Rick and Michonne have this lovely moment as RJ’s parents was sublime and I’ll forever adore this heartwarming exchange. 🥹👌🏽
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ssturniolo · 9 months
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could u write something where reader is going through a sort of depressive episode where like trader just kinda feels hopeless and stuff and is pushing chris away and so he doesn’t understand why until matt like points it out and so chris then feels bad and comforts reader sorry if this is long😭
Everything’ll be alright
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𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 - Chris x fem!reader
𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 - request <3
𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 - mentions of depression, bad mental health, Chris being oblivious, not proofread
Everything in your life has just been going wrong. Or at least it’s felt that way. Simple everyday tasks have grown increasingly difficult to do and every waking moment is it’s own battle. You’ve had no contact with the outside world in who knows how long, not even your own boyfriend. It just seems as though nobody cares and that, along with everything else is slowly destroying you.
Only leaving your bed to use the bathroom and grab another bag of chips that will eventually be thrown to the side uneaten, has been how you’ve been living for awhile now. You’re filled with this overwhelming feeling of despair and it just won’t go away. At war with your own mind, and there doesn’t seem to be a light at the end of this tunnel. Just a dead end.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** **
Chris lays on the couch, scrolling through Instagram while hoping that you’ll answer one of his million texts. He knows you’re pushing him away but he can’t figure out why. What did he do wrong? You’re his first girlfriend and he’s so afraid to loose you but he doesn’t know what’s wrong or what to do.
“Me and Nick are going to McDonald’s if you want to bring y/n,” Matt calls as he grabs his keys off the counter.
“No that’s ok, I don’t think she’d want to” Chris reply’s, not looking up from his phone.
“But I thought she loves McDonald’s? I haven’t heard from her in awhile, how’s she doing?” Matt asks, his voice laced with concern.
“I wouldn’t know” Chris mumbles, clearly hurt.
Every once in awhile you kind of disappear but you’ve never done it for this long, let along not talking to Chris at all.
“Did you guys break up?” Matt asks gently as he sits by Chris on the couch.
“No but she ghosted me” Chris starts, pressing his palms into his eyes. “She’s completely disappeared off of social media, and never answers my texts or calls even when it says she’s active.”
Worry is painted across Matt’s features as he watches his brother fight off tears.
“Chris I think you should go check up on her. Y/n wouldn’t do this without a really good reason and I think she’s really struggling right now. I’ll bring you on the way to McDonald’s ok?”
Chris never thought about that fact you might not be doing well, he was more concerned about you ignoring him.
“Ok, let’s go.”
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** **
You’ve been curled up on your bed, staring at the same spot on your wall for what’s seemed like forever. How long exactly? You have no clue. Your only telling of time was whether there was light peeking through the blinds, or if everything was just swallowed in darkness.
The creak of the door to your room opening startles you out of your dazed state, confused as you hadn’t heard anyone come into your apartment.
“Hey there princess” a familiar voice whispers as he shuts the door behind him.
Chris.
Without another word, he climbs into your bed, snaking his arms around you, holding you close against his chest. And that’s all it took for you to burst into tears, wetting his t-shirt as you cry into his chest.
“I’m trapped Chris, I’m trapped” you manage to cry out in between sobs.
“I don’t know what to do”
“Everything will be alright baby, we’ll figure this out together, I’ve got you” he whispers soothingly into your hair.
There’s a terrible pressure on your chest, you feel everything and nothing at the same time, and your whole life seems to be crumbling down in front of you, but Chris is there. Right besides you through it all just like he’s always been. The world could be falling apart and he’d be there, ready to hold you in his arms and tell you everything will be alright.
Right now, all you need is Chris and he doesn’t plan on leaving anytime soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for the request my love 🫶🏻
XOXO - Zoe
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