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catofoldstones · 8 months

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The bemoaning of s@nsan's loss of popularity by shippers fascinates me because iv'e seen a lot of ancient fans stance on it was that sansa's flaw is liking pretty things/people so her lesson should be to marry the hound for humility yet not ONE of them look inside the text that all the men that attack/abuse/molest sansa all find her pretty or are infatuated with pretty women worst abuse them, the double standard of fans against sansa fascinates me as they ignore one of sansa's character traits is to treat people with courtesy,they also ignore every character has been attracted to pretty people even j0n yet not one person says that hes vain for liking val based on her attractiveness, the only person iv'e seen thats been as criticized is d@ny simply for her infatuation in daario and dismissal of quentyn and while we as readers didnt like that she did that she's also a teenager(and doesnt know quentyn) again there's huge double standard for girls and boys in this fandom yet no one saw it

im getting off track but basically s@nsan's loss of popularity shouldn't be such a surprise when there's a whole new generation of readers that might not have the same readings or bias from previous years especially when a lot of it was just misogynistic undertones

Has san/san lost popularity? It’s still heralded as one of the most iconic ships to come out of the game of thrones and late 2000s/ early 2010s in general, isn’t it? And the san/san posts I see have a good number of notes, always around and upwards of 400, which is a hefty number to me. But yes, it has definitely left major pop-culture discourse centres.

I have heard a lot about this “flaw” you are talking about and I consider myself extremely lucky that i didn’t join the fandom earlier. I absolutely cannot imagine being in the fandom from the 90s to 2018 as a Sansa stan, when hating her was the norm. I was just about to bring up this point you mentioned, that all men, who are full grown adults btw, lust after Sansa based on her looks. They consider her pretty and want them all for herself, and all the while she’s a 12 year old.

“Why should I be guilty? My wife wants no part of me, and most especially not the part that seems to want her.”

Tyrion VII, ASOS

“Give your Florian a little kiss now. A kiss for luck.” He swayed toward her. Sansa dodged the wet groping lips, kissed him lightly on an unshaven cheek, and bid him good night. It took all her strength not to weep.”

Sansa IV, ACOK

And these are just two people, with one out of many such instances each, among a hoard of men who think of her like that. A very simple answer to all of this is misogyny, in and out of the universe. Of course the entire san/san fandom has no hive mind, they were apparently the first ones to come up with the qitn Sansa theory while also coming up with the cottage theory, but shipping a 12 year old with a grown man who almost raped her at knifepoint is an open letter invitation for haters to find a settling point for making sansa suffer without actually getting called out for it. It becomes such a perfect cover for actively hating a 12 year old because even the haters realise how insane that actually is.

I think the “flaw rectification” argument was birthed to fuse the thought that yes, sansa did bad things, here’s how we can still enjoy her character while the undercurrent of unfounded hatred runs through the ship while we conveniently never acknowledge it. Obviously new readers came along who had never interacted with the fandom and realised “hey, what the fuck?” and had a different opinion of “that’s a defenceless 12 year old girl who actually did nothing wrong”. I’m sure there were voices who expressed such opinions before but were silenced. Internet is such a friendly place after all.

The “courtesy” thing is so true. She literally has no option but to respond the way she does. One wrong word and she might get beaten or killed. That girl is terrified and only trying to survive. Considering Sansa’s action as anything but survival mechanism is so superficial. This is so analogous to how women today are polite to men while because they’re scared that the men might hurt them/kill them. It’s the same shit, times ten, with Sansa. This also goes for when San/dor catches her during the battle of black water and demands a “song” from her (which is a thinly veiled euphemism for rape), and Sansa sings him a hymn of Mother’s mercy as a way to protect herself.

As for the Dany thing, I just want to say, what exactly is wrong about a teenage girl having a crush? Why is she termed as “lovesick” and “stupid” and “annoying” anytime she shows any interest in a guy? And it’s always the dudebros screaming this the loudest. Obviously, Daario is not a good choice and Dany herself acknowledges that.

“Daario might whisper words of love when the two of them were as one, but she knew it was the dragon queen he loved. If I gave up my crown, he would not want me.”

Daenerys VII, ADWD

I mean, the other shoe will definitely drop with this guy but this the first time we see Dany have a consensual relationship, which I feel is important to her arc - the relationship and the man she has the relationship with. Moreover, she has bigger fish to fry like her governance/dragons/moving towards westeros etc.

And berating her over Quentyn? Wasn’t she supposed to get married the next day to Hizdar? Didn’t she herself say that she’s not sure if Quentyn is the real deal or not? Moreover, she remembers Quaith’s prophecy about the “sun’s son” and double backs (Dany and prophecies are a whole another thing which we can talk about later) and solidifies her decision to go forward with her wedding with Hizdahr.

“Enough,” Daenerys said. “Prince Quentyn has crossed half the world to offer me his gift, I will not have him treated with discourtesy.” She turned to the Dornishmen. “Would that you had come a year ago. I am pledged to wed the noble Hizdahr zo Loraq.”

“The sun’s son. A shiver went through her. “Shadows and whispers.” What else had Quaithe said? The pale mare and the sun’s son…”

Daenerys VII, ADWD

Although, the Martells will not understand that Dany didn’t order Quentyn’s death and might antagonise her so that’s a chekov’s gun waiting to go off. Clearly, Quentyn was clearly the first leg of a bigger arc that we’ll likely see in TWOW (consider Quaith’s whole prophecy) and a part of a bigger theme Dany has to fulfill. Her decision to make Quentyn wait was not based on whether she found him ugly or not, it was based on being right in the middle of a political crisis with another volatile variable being added that has the potential to uproot a lot of what she has struggled to maintain (which ultimately does happen). Dany does have a knack of picking the worst option and that does not bode well for her governance/politics but that is not the point here. The point here is how dare a 16 year old doesn’t find a guy attractive and another guy too attractive (which is a part of a bigger theme btw) and sometimes, it’s a thin line between misogyny and valid criticism. Let’s stop flattening female characters into digestible one-dimensional beings, especially when it comes to teenagers. The fact that they have more than one motivation to act a certain way, makes them so much more enjoyable and interesting and honestly, human, like you and me.

Let’s also stop pigeonholing (12 year old) female characters into high-school mean girl clique leader trope who is so shallow and superficial that she needs to be assaulted by an “ugly” middle aged man to come to her senses. Also, that is called projection. The character that we are talking about isn’t like that at all. But whatever 🙄

Sorry I got carried away and got angry, things like these piss me off so bad. Never change, fandom, never change.

#anti sansan #fandom misogyny #anon asks t

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roobylavender · 1 year

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im fairly new to batcomics so forgive me for this dumb ask/being uninformed, but do you ever have like. doubt in your reading for bruce as a character, or feel bleak about it (?) im aware you dont really like the reading of him as an abuser, but from what ive seen he most often does emotional neglect/distance and parentification of a child, which /are still/ abuse, and this happens very consistently. from what i can tell there is more evidence of him being a bad parent than otherwise. people often say hes incapable of having a child without messing them up beyond repair, and from what ive seen that rings true😭 i also know you said u dont like alot of his modern portrays, but these types of abuse also occur in older comics as well from what i can tell. i myself often have doubt (perhaps this is because i havent read everything yet and im still informing myself on his character)-that maybe this /is/ just his character, bc of HOW consistent the pattern is. idk if im really asking a specific question. im more so wondering what your thoughts are, like on parentificafion of his kids and emotional neglect/distance, would this be different if DC portrayed him more empathetically/based on your reading, and/or is he just fundamentally unable to parent someone without abusing them like some ppl say. i understand i may have just opened a whole can of worms lol but im so curious

you are totally fine! canon is quite overwhelming in both volume and scope, and conversations about bruce being an abuser definitely dominate at present (not wrongfully btw), so i don't blame people for ascribing to them early on. i will say at least from what i have read (and i will admit here that my pre-bronze age reading is not nearly as consistent as my post-bronze age reading so i have kept less track of specific writers and runs there) that i think the aspects that largely define present interpretations of bruce as an abuser tend to take from canon post-crisis onward. so that's probably why in a sense it looks like bruce has "always" been an abuser, bc realistically speaking if you're a new dc reader it makes most sense to start with the aftermath of the crisis and go from there. most conversations about "canon" tend to be about post-crisis canon (ie what has taken place on new earth/prime earth) and usually when you're looking up batman reading lists they will start with year one rather than with anything in pre-crisis. the crisis was nearly forty years ago after all! it covers a lot of territory and unless you're a really dedicated comic reader with a lot of time on your hands i don't think most people have the time or energy to go further back (to no fault of their own obv)

all that being said. pre-crisis canon is obv not monolithic in nature and there are definitely blogs out there who have dedicated themselves to compiling individual issues or moments they would personally interpret as evocative of abusive behaviors on bruce's behalf. i don't think that's inherently wrong to do per se and to each their own reading but my primary divide with that practice is that it's often performed within a vacuum. to me the most important thing when it comes to being a comics reader (or any kind of reader really) is taking into account real life context and genre conventions. how do the politics or culture of the time shape the way a given narrative is written and with what tone it's written? all of that is crucial to incorporate into an analysis. i'm going to use a pretty famous example of why. world's finest comics #153 (1965) is the origin of a pretty famous panel you may be familiar with:

on its face this looks pretty bad (and it'll actually factor into when i discuss parentification later) but contextually this issue imagined an alternate reality wherein superman was responsible for the death of bruce's parents and subsequently became the face of bruce's relentless revenge and pursuit of criminal activity. obv that's not a bruce who actually exists in reality and this was merely written for the sake of exaggeration and entertainment but it can also give rise to some interesting questions about what the writer here was specifically trying to satirize and why. primarily it's obv trying to poke some fun at the idea of bruce's crusade to begin with (which i am sure most people would agree was quite cartoonish in the early decades of dc despite the more layered portrayal and analysis it was afforded in later decades). but what's also pertinent here is the sort of "natural" exaggeration of bruce's dynamic with dick. in even as far back as the original bob kane comics, bruce and dick had a dynamic where dick was comedically portrayed as the more morally responsible one of the two. it wasn't much reason for concern back then bc the stakes weren't nearly as high and dick's tendency to question some of bruce's decisions (eg his tendency to always let selina go or to allow some villains to die horrifically) was almost always played off with a laugh. but the foundation was still there and you can recognize it in these panels despite that foundation obv being taken to an extreme. all of which is to say: the portrayal of bruce as an abuser largely depends on what a writer is willing to exaggerate, and why, and how. this issue was obv a one-off with no relevance to actual canon but it was nonetheless a peek into what that dynamic between bruce and dick could look like given a writer willing to pursue a darker tone and to explore the potential extremes of what was on its face merely a gag

the novelty of cape comics is that they are a place to explore anything and everything. extremes are possible bc no writer/artist and no editorial staff are ever on a book forever. what creatives want to explore with what they're given can hugely vary esp if a particular editorial staff is liberal enough to allow that exploration. and i think it's fair to say that a lot of writers are interested by the idea of that what if the above issue explored. not out of malice per se but certainly out of a growing curiosity as to how far disbelief with respect to the internal reality of cape comics can actually be suspended. the big question for batman in the 80s was whether having a kid sidekick constituted child abuse. this was primarily explored via the starlin run that ended in a death in the family. and obv following that we got the triple whammie of year three, a lonely place of dying, and knightfall. these arcs to me were what really cemented the foray into parentification in batman comics. the fledgling idea of it had always existed in a sense. dick was the more morally upright character of the two known for chiding some of bruce's decisions. he was the leader of the original teen titans, who historically demanded more respect and support of their mentors (i do not think it all inconsequential that dick and roy were developed so closely). and increasingly as we moved from the bronze age into the modern age we saw a dick who simultaneously desired to be independent of bruce and to be recognized by him. so the components to take that fledgling idea to its natural extreme were all there. editorial merely had to create the right circumstances to mesh those components together, and those circumstances were the buildup to and execution of the death of jason todd

i really do not think it can be underestimated in any sense what an enormous impact that event has had on the entire bat mythos at large. beyond utterly shattering the readers' suspension of disbelief wrt sidekicks' place in cape comics what a death in the family did was create an unavoidable void. this was not an event that could merely be skimmed over and moved on from. the aftermath and the consequences had to be dissected to their fullest extent otherwise batman editorial risked falling into the exact same problem the crisis was written to avoid: circular and aimless continuity. everything had to have concrete, forward moving direction and the consequences had to matter long term for there to be meaningful character development. so when you created the circumstances for a child dying bc batman had him gallivanting around as a masked vigilante, he had to retreat into his shell and utterly fall apart from the guilt of it all while everyone else fought like hell to keep him standing. it was pretty riveting and compelling. knightfall is probably one of my favorite arcs ever despite how utterly boring it is bc the introspection into bruce and his breakdown following jason's death was superb. but the circumstances it created for everyone else in bruce's vicinity to act like his emotional crutch while he took the next decade to recover obv had significant long-lasting consequences. dick had to be relegated to acting as the go-to family man rather than ever again pursuing his own dreams as he had in the 80s and early 90s. when jason came back he had to deal with all of bruce's grief and guilt being projected onto him while his own concerns went unheard. tim had to spend his teenage years deluding himself into believing he was the only one who could hold gotham together while bruce was falling apart. cass had to expend an enormous effort trying to prove herself to bruce bc all of the built up circumstances from the last decade drove him to insane paranoia about having sidekicks at all. and damian had to deal with whatever bruce had become by the time all of that was over

all of this to say: do i think bruce was always meant to become an abuser? not really. but did editorial avail themselves of and relentlessly pursue narrative circumstances that allowed that path to be realistically taken? absolutely. it's ultimately a debate of whether or not you agree they should have taken that direction long term. and i know it may look like i would probably be a hard no on that but personally i find myself more in the middle between these two imaginary camps. bc i'm not unsatisfied with what knightfall explored. i found it hugely interesting to explore the natural conclusion of bruce taking all burdens upon his shoulders and making himself highly vulnerable to collapse bc he refused to open up to anyone out of a fear of burdening them in turn. but knightfall was also followed by contagion and legacy and no man's land and murderer and fugitive. it was bruce taking one hit after another until he was utterly ripped to the core and had to start over from scratch and ig that's what i fundamentally disagree with. i don't think they needed to have gone any further than where knightfall took him and to me the end of knightfall should have signaled that bruce was ready to turn a new leaf where he could healthily balance his emotional commitments without letting them be guided by fear. publishing comics takes a long time so i think people often forget that despite there being a decade worth of comics between the events i immediately listed above what actually transpired in real time in the pages was two years or less. if we want to go all of the way back to a death in the family and account for that as well it becomes four years. four years isn't at all a long time nor is it unsalvageable. but by the time knightfall was over i truly think editorial was so obsessed with its own ideas on exploring bruce's collapse that it failed to see little else in the way of that. everything became about how people responded to him rather than about how bruce responded to the world. ironically by being the main character of his books he became the maker of his own demise. bc everything and everyone had to relate to him and his problems first before they could ever have any of their own. that is why keeping him in a perpetual state of emotional collapse has been so profitable. it is the easiest way to tell a story without ever having to make an effort on anyone else in it

note: one clarification i forgot to make earlier is that everything i wrote above is specifically with respect to bruce’s emotional abuse. i personally think there is zero justification for bruce’s physical abuse and that it can’t actually be extrapolated from anything about him as a character at the core, so whenever writers resort to it in the pages i dismiss it completely

#outbox #i know this meanders a lot but i hope it answers your question somewhat 😭#ironically i feel like my views have changed a lot since i first started reading comics and like even in the middle of writing this #it gave me a lot to think about and the concessions i'm willing to make. so thank you for stimulating the brain worms!

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rxmuz · 2 years

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Red is the Color of Temptation CH.3

ao3 link

Idk why I didn't think to post the fic here as well but whatever lol. I'll post the first two chapters after this! Anyways, horny thoughts about old fat man and his stomach and excuse my shitty writing skills, I'm new to this 😭

(btw this isn't a first person fic, I just wrote it this way for this chapter!)

word count: 2.3k

It's 6 am when I clock out. The sun hadn't risen yet but there was a light sprinkle falling. As soon as I get home I get into the shower, washing off the grease and sweat from my shift. I usually only had a few minutes under the spray before the streaming water turns lukewarm and then freezing.

The shower helped to soothe my aching muscles but I was still tired. Not enough to fall asleep but enough that I didn't even have the energy to get up and fix myself something to eat.

It's three weeks later that I'm sitting on my couch and mindlessly browsing through channels.

My place doesn't really have any decorations, a few pictures here and there but outside of that, it looked like no one lived here.

There are two leather layers, a coffee table made of faux wood in the living room, and two hanging photographs on my wall. It was a single bedroom apartment, the room consisting of a queen bed, a desk, and a medium-sized drawer.

It's not much but it's something. It's mine, even if I have to work at a club owned by criminals.

I truly don't mind though.

I didn't have the best upbringing, but that could be said for a lot of people in Gotham.

My mother died when I was three so it was just me, my two siblings, and my dad until I moved out. My dad worked two regular jobs and some odd jobs then a there, those odd jobs being some work for the mob in our neighborhood. When my twin brother and I were old enough we started to run errands for them. Delivering money, packages, and letters for whoever needed them. It was enough to help our dad pay the bills and we really didn't mind. It was the norm for us.

That was until my brother was killed.

Shot dead in the middle of the sidewalk walking home from school. It was a drive-by and they had mistaken him for someone else. We had just turned 15.

My dad took me and my younger sister and all the money we had and moved to the outskirts of the city. That was about 8 years ago.

It's hard to lose a sibling but it's a different pain to lose a twin. For the first few years, I didn't feel like myself, I still don't but I've gotten better. The grievance isn't as strong, and the pain doesn't hurt as much, but the loneliness is still there.

But I kept moving.

I always do.

By the time I finally fall asleep it's around 4 pm in the afternoon but I don't sleep for long. I wake up about two hours later. I look around for my phone for a bit before I find it under one of the cushions of my couch. I unlock it to find several messages waiting for me. Three from Chez and one from Oz. He texts me every day or so to check up on me but every time I'm still slightly shocked to see a message from him

Cheeze: hru?

The topic moves on.

Cheeze: are u fucking mr boss man? Cheese: wait are you sleeping?

Fuck hell.

Me: …not anymore Me: go away!

The answer I receive is instantaneous.

Cheeze: so thats a yes…lol! Cheeze: he good in bed or???

Me: i am not fucking mr boss man Me: why would you even think that?

My phone buzzes again.

Cheeze: i saw you go into his office Cheeze: is it considered a office? Cheeze: it don't got a door dawg…

I genuinely need new fucking friends. Actually, just a “friend” because Chez is my only friend.

I am not lonely…

I am not lying…

I don't even want to give her the satisfaction of a reply, but I'm so bored I end up replying anyway.

Me: it's a private room. Me: he has an office with a door in the 44. Me: this doesn't mean im fucking him

I decide to ignore the new messages Chez sends, instead going to look at Oz's message.

Oz: Are you up? You got time for an early dinner?

What do I even say to this? I know Oz isn't the typical boss but it's not like I can out with him.

Wait is this a date? By definition, sure. In my mind, maybe, though he could just consider this as him checking up on me.

Me: I wouldn't call 6 pm an early dinner

Oz is typing…

Oz: It is if you sleep through the day!

Well, that was quick.

I don't date anyone, I don't meet anyone, and I practically don't speak to anyone beyond what was necessary. I only ever go out with Chez if I'm feeling up to it. I'm not really a people person. But this is completely different. It wouldn't really mean anything if this was a date. It could be like a friend date, like the ones I have with Chez.

Am I even friends with Oz? I'm pretty sure I am. We've been talking more during my shifts, I've even been making him some new drinks for him to test. We even played cards together!

We're definitely friends. Totally!

Me: Sure why not :)

I stare at the screen, waiting for the three dot-dot-dots designating a response.

I'm nervous.

Oz: I'll pick you up Oz: Think you can be ready in about 30 minutes?

Wait what?

Me: U KNOW WHERE I LIVE?!?!?!

A new text bubble forms, only to disappear. It pops up again.

Oz: You should know better

Me: wut does that even mean

Oz: See you in 30

He's going to drive me fucking insane.

---

I get up to open the door 30 minutes later when there's a knock on the door. I open it to find Oz leaning against the right side of my door, his arm above my head and sweat running down his brow. He looks exhausted and like he's in pain.

“Are you okay?”

“Can I sit?” He rasps out, not answering my question.

“Yeah, of course.” I say as I step out of the way.

He moves past me, making a beeline to the couch closet from us, and his limp is more obvious. He takes a seat and leans back into my couch. I don't know what to do so I just stand there and watch him. Luckily Oz speaks for me.

“Your elevator is out,” He pinches the bridge of his nose, closes his eyes, and sighs. “Had to walk up 3 flights of stairs. I just need a minute to rest.”

“Shit sorry, I thought you would call me to come down,” I say, moving towards him, “If I knew you were coming up I woulda told you the elevator on this side was out.”

He only grunts.

“I've got some painkillers if you want them.”

"Hmm?"

“For your leg. I'm assuming that's the problem.”

He opens his eyes again and turns his head to look at me. He looks surprised that I even offered. It kind of makes me sad.

“Yeah I would appreciate that.” he mumbles.

When I get back with the painkillers and a bottle of water, he's leaning forward on his knee and his bad leg stretched out in front of him. He looks lost in thought and doesn't hear me the first time I call him.

“Here you go Oz.”

He smiles.

“Thank you doll.”

He has a beautiful smile.

I know Oz isn't considered attractive by societal views. He's an old heavyset guy riddled with scars that has a limp, not your average-looking Joe. Yet I personally think he's nice to look at. Scars are something endearing to me, they tell a story visually. They are proof of a life of hard graft, pain, and strong will.

Plus bigger guys are more my style anyway.

I wouldn't say I'm in love, definitely not that, but over the past few weeks of talking to him and being in his presence, I would say I have a pretty decent crush on him. He's just really interesting to me. He's a mystery I want to solve and immerse myself in. I find that most days my mind wanders to the thought of him, thinking of the things he could possibly be doing. Counting cash, smoking a cigar, or beating the shit out of someone. I'm not blind to the things that Oz gets up to and he's made that distinctly clear since we've started talking.

Yet I'm drawn to this dangerous, unattainable man in a way that's completely indescribable.

I know I shouldn't be getting as close as I am to him but I can't help it. I'm fucking lonely and I can tell he his too. We both need a real friend.

No harm in it.

“Why did you want to go to dinner?” I ask, trying to refocus on actually talking to Oz rather than staring at him.

“Why? Not interested in a free meal before work?” he chuckles.

I click my tongue, “I didn't say that, I was just curious is all.”

“I needed to get out, so why not get out with someone that I can keep a genuine conversation with.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“What do you mean nuh-uh?

"Me? Keep a conversation? You're real funny Oz.”

“You don't think ya can?” he's laughing again, the pain that was once on his face now residing.

“It's more of me just answering your questions, you're the one that keeps it going.”

“Well I like your answers girlie.”

I smile, small and coy.

“Glad you think so, Oz.”

His mouth quirks, and stretches his bad ankle a few times before standing up from the couch.

“We should get going.”

“Yeah.”

“What are you in the mood for?”

“I don't know, I assumed you had someplace in mind,” I say standing next to him, “What do you want?”

He chuckles, “I'll pretty much eat anything.”

My lips turn into a soft small smile, “How 'bout Mexican?”

He smiles and nods.

---

I hadn't noticed what Oz was wearing when he first came by, more so worried about him, but now that we're walking into the restaurant, I take the time to really look him over. He's wearing a fine suit, black pants and a shirt so dark it seems to swallow the light around it, and a red jacket so rich I've never seen it before. He tops it off with a white tie.

He looks handsome.

Me, on the other hand, I looked raggedy. I'm wearing a pair of dark blue wide-leg pants, a cropped black sweater with a white and red flannel over it, and a pair of old Doc Martens.

My favorite dirty boots by the way.

I should've known that Oz wouldn't take us somewhere more casual. We're at this place called Javier's Cantina. It's definitely out of my price range, the place is covered in beautiful dark brown wood and tan stone walls. High ceilings with long lanterns and ceiling fans hanging from them, filling the room with low yellowish light. It was beautiful.

“Wow.'' is all I can muster.

“Like it?”

“Yeah! This place is amazing, never been anywhere this nice.”

“I'm glad you like it sweetheart.” he chuckles as a waiter leads us to a booth.

When we get to the table Oz waits for me to sit before he settles in on the other side of the booth. It's a little bit of a squeeze for him and I can't help but look at the paunch of his gut that pushes into the table. He sucks in before readingjusting himself. There's a hint of a blush on the top of his hears and I can't help but feel bad for the slight look of discomfort on his face.

I smile to reassure him, “We got in pretty quickly…did you threaten someone?” I tease.

“Nah, just called in a favor from an old friend.” the change of direction seemed to help.

“Let me guess. A friend of a friend of a friend?”

He laughs and folds his arms over his stomach, “You just think you're hot shit, don't ya?”

“Yeah, actually, I do.”

“At least you're honest about it.”

"Of course! I would never lie to you Oz.” I say in mock offense.

He snorts, his mouth pulling into a brief, sideways smile.

The two of us fall into a companionable silence as we look over the menu. I ended up ordering a small platter of mixed enchiladas while Oz ordered a sizable steak with veggies and a bottle of wine for us to share. We made short work of the wine as I chatted about work, mostly ranting about the annoying assholes that grace the club and how my landlord wouldn't come to fix my damn dishwasher.

I had a pleasant little buzz but it appeared Oz was able to hold his drink better than me. That was okay though, as he continued to let me rant freely.

“The asshole had the audacity to look surprised when one of the twins kicked him out.”

“You seemed to handle it pretty well though.”

“Had to,” I pause, raising my eyebrows slightly, “Wouldn't want to get fired by you, Mr. Boss Man.”

“Hmm, I wouldn't fire you, you're the best bartender I've had in a long while.”

There's a long pause, before “It is…plus if I got rid of you, who else would I have to talk to?”

“You've got a club full of people to talk to every night.”

“That's true but I like talking to you the most,” he says.

I stare at him.

“Are we friends?”

He stares back and I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck raise and my hands becoming clammy.

But then I notice something, he's just as surprised by the sudden question as I am.

“Yeah - uh - at least I think we are.

“Good, I like being your friend Oz.”

#Oswald Cobblepot #oswald cobblepot x reader #The Penguin #the penguin x reader #oz cobblepot #Oz!penguin #colin farrell penguin #Colin!penguin #red is the color of temptation

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elishamanning · 3 years

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s it too early yet for cheerful distractions?

Because Borussia posted a video that basically amounts to five solid minutes of Kramer bashing and it's really funny.

"Also we're doing a survey - who's your favourite player?" "The goalkeeper, Sommer-" "No, it's actually restricted to defensive midfield ("die Sechser")" - "Defensive midfield? I'll have to ask my son (pause)... Lars Stindl!" "Well, he's actually further up front. What does your son think of Kramer?" "Wait, I'll ask. (Pause. Then roaring laughter) Super!" "That is NOT what your son said! Why did you laugh?! Shit." "Why? What's up with Kramer?" "It's me, on the phone." Little child voice "Hello?" "Hello. This is Christoph Kramer, how old are you?" "Me?" "Yes, you!" "10." "10 years old! And what did you just say about me?! Now tell the truth!" "I don't lie! Well. I think Kramer... (picking his words very carefully) isn't the best player... but NOT the worst either!" "Oh well, alright then... I don't know what to say, to be honest. I'm at a slight loss for words... and a little disappointed. Say hello to your father from me. Congratulations on his membership, congratulations for his birthday and have a nice party!" "I will!" "Bye!" "Byeee!" (hangs up). Kramer, to himself "Scheiße."

"Hi, this is Kramer from Borussia Mönchengladbach's fanshop." "Hallo." "I'm looking at our books here and I'm seeing you've ordered a new jersey!" "That's right. (Bavarian accent, btw)" "With 'Ginter' and the number 28 on the back. The Ginter print is unfortunately... well, we don't know if we can deliver-" "Then just make it a Kramer jersey!" Kramer raises his arms happily. "Or no - make it a Stindl jersey!" Kramer falters, visibly annoyed/diasppointed. Fan, cluelessly "...so it'll say something on the back..." "Don't you recognise my voice?" "Is this Christoph Kramer??" "Yes it is!" "Christoph!!" "Servus!" "Of COURSE I'll take a Kramer jersey!" (He sounds very happy and CK is clearly pleased) "Alright then, Mr. (name blocked out)" "No no, it's Hubertus!" Kramer laughs "Alright then, Hubertus..."

He rings the next fan, congratulates her on her birthday and also asks her favourite player. "Favourite player? To me always Stindl." "Alright then, I'll ask no further." Woman praises Stindl. Kramer "yes, alright, I'm happy with that (very charming voice) Frau (name blocked out), have a nice day!" "Yes, thank you for calling! And my husband says hallo." "Thank you - Oh, does he have a favourite player??" "Byeee" "Does your husband have a favourite player?" signal, call interrupted. Kramer, quietly "alright, bye."

There's a happy end, though, hehehe...

- This is Kramer from Borussia Mönchengladbach. You're one of our members and you've got a big birthday today - congratulations on your 40th! - Oh thank you! - Happy to! Well- - That was very charming of you, to say 40th! - Why? Oooooooh! Oh no oh no! 50th, actually, really...?! - Nono, that's alright, I'll take it! - Well I do have a picture of you here, and I really would have thought 40th! - Wow! You're really making my day here, one of the happiest ever! - That's what we're here for at Borussia Mönchengladbach, isn't it? So how long have you been a member for? - Good question. Ten years, maybe? - Oh, ok, alright. And... your favourite player? - I actually don't have one at the moment. It used to be Marco Reus, but he doesn't exist anymore... at Gladbach at least. - I'm just asking for a friend, how do you like Kramer? (Silence. CK grimaces.) ... hallo? (Connection dead signal). ----------- - You were gone there, suddenly! - So were you! I was worried! ...So I'm just asking for a friend: what do you think of Kramer? - He's good! Great! - So you've made my day as well! - What, why? - Because it's me on the phone, I've slightly altered my voice... - No! - Yes. We're calling people on their birthday today... so this is blatantly fishing for compliments that I'm doing here, I'll admit that, but you don't know what a rough day I've had with this so far... so many people somehow disinclined towards me... - There be days like this sometimes, right? - Exactly. (...) Thank you! Bye! - All the best for you! (celebratory pose).

THIS IS GENUINELY THE BEST THING EVER THANK YOU SO MUCH

like he's literally the biggest dork here i love it. this video is the greatest thing i've ever seen. like all the voices he does and every conversation and all of his faces... i love im

#answered #anonymous #christoph kramer #THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU #like i don't know how to say thank you enough #i'm really genuinely so so grateful for these translations

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pseudophan · 4 years

Note

can you tell us the summary of your love of your lives case? I don’t wanna watch the video I don’t have the patience to watch it

it's such a complicated case but in short(ish):

1993 in west memphis arkansas, three eight year old boys go missing and are later found murdered in the woods. the community is freaking the fuck out and because it's 1993 small town arkansas and satanic panic is sweeping the nation people go ITS SATANISM IT WAS A SATANIC RITUAL and the police keep interviewing this 18 year old named damien echols because he was into witchcraft and listened to metallica and wore all black (genuine points brought up in court like this is what the entire case is built on). im skipping some details here cause its all oh so convoluted but basically they eventually interrogate a 17 year old named jessie miskelley jr who confesses to the crime and implicates damien and damien's best friend jason baldwin (16, looks about 11). so then ofc they all get arrested

issue is: jessie is a minor with a reported iq of 72 and they interrogated him non stop for 12 hours with no parent or attorney present (his dad agreed to let them speak to him but they didnt tell him it was an interrogation) and less than an hour of it was recorded. jessie claims the cops coerced him into his confession and even on the 40 something minutes of interrogation we do have available to listen to you can hear the cops just continuously leading him on like theyll ask when this happened and he says a time and they go no the kids were in school then it was later wasnt it and he's like yeah it was [later time] and theyre like no it was around 8 wasnt it? and hes like yeah yeah it was then and it goes on like that foreverrrrr

ok im getting into too much detail here im sorry theres so much more anyway anyway TRIALS HAPPEN and its all a whole bunch of bullshit and hbo recorded it all for hit documentary paradise lost (watch it) and hhhooooooly shit!

theres way too much to talk about w the trial but besides everyone being fucking cracked and damien being a smartass and the judge looking bored out of his goddamn mind throughout the whole thing (FUCK that judge) one notable part that didnt come out until later is that during jury selection this one guy was hell bent on getting on the jury cause he wanted them convicted and not only was he let on the jury he became the jury foreman which goes against like every law cause juries are supposed to go into court with no preconceived notions of what happened. also jessie had a separate trial cause he wouldnt testify against jason and damien which means his "confession" wasnt admissible in their trial and the jury werent allowed to consider it, but the jury actively discussed the confession while making their decision (jury members have said they did + it was written on their goddamn whiteboard) which. h

ANYWAYYY so jessie and jason get life in prison without the possibility of parole and damien gets sentenced to death. damien is 19 at this point with a newborn baby. jason isnt even 18.

so then they go away and the documentary paradise lost comes out and everyone collectively loses their goddamn fucking minds cause how the fuck did this happen they didnt even have a single piece of actual evidence except a piece of hair that MAY match damien but also its the early 90s and they dont actually have a fucking clue

years go by, everythings happening so much, their appeals get shot down one by one cause its the same fucking judge and ofc hes not gonna admit any fault. the public suspect john mark byers (rest in peace he died like a month ago in a traffic accident, btw he also didnt do it but thats also a lot to go into. interesting guy, definitely inbred, violent tendencies but not a murderer) one of the kids' stepdads (technically adoptive dad cause he legally adopted the kid after he married his mum but hes generally referred to as his stepdad) of having done it cause hes fucking massive and is quite possibly the most colourful character ive seen in my life like that guy had no idea what was going on ever and he was hell bent on the teens having done it and wanted to kill them all UNTIL! until. 2007, they test the dna in the case and SHOCKINGLY turns out none of the west memphis 3's dna is anywhere to be found, the shit they had that could be damien's turns out to not even remotely match him in the slightest and suddenly theyre there like. well. now theres nothing. and yet theyre still in prison cause everyone who got them convicted is like NO THEY DID IT :) but the public outrage is so much by this point and finally they get to take it to the supreme court who take one look at it and are literally like ??? what the fuck happened here give them a new trial what the literal hell (theres a video of it their faces are literally so funny they all look like they absolutely cannot believe this required their help) so in 2011 they finally have the opportunity to retrial with a new judge but SUDDENLY the state of arkansas go um actually we are gonna offer you an alford plea which basically means they legally plead guilty to the charges while still saying they didnt do it and then they get let out but the state wont have to admit fault or reopen the case cause in their eyes these three are still guilty but theyre gonna let them out anyway cause that makes a whole lot of sense i guess. lol basically the state realised there was a real chance they could get exonerated in which case they were gonna get sued to hell and back and went FUCK give them a deal

now jason didnt want to take the deal he wanted to wait for the new trial and risk getting found guilty again cause he said this isnt justice for the kids cause the real killer or killers are still free and its not justice for us cause we have to plead guilty to save the asses of the system that failed us all BUT all three of them have to agree for it to be valid and damien's execution date, which he's already narrowly avoided on several occasions like its already been postponed multiple times, is once again coming up and if the new trial somehow goes wrong and hes sent back to death row he's gonna be killed so jason decided fuck all of that and agreed to the plea exclusively to save damien which ok ride or die king

i havent gone into who really did it cause once again there is SO much but the majority of people think it was terry hobbs (the stepdad of another one of the victims) including the kid's mother whos now his ex wife who he abused to no end. theres a Lot to this theory and while theres no concrete evidence cause they did a shittyass job with everything theres already more dna linking him to the scene than the teens. god i really wanna go into everything that points to terry being at least somehow involved but this has already gotten so out of hand

anyway follow damienechols on instagram all he does is post about witchcraft and cats. also watch the hbo paradise lost trilogy and west of memphis. and if u want even more details listen to the three true crime garage episodes on the case. also theres books. theres so much. i have so much more to say. someone stop me

#answered

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wallofweird · 4 years

Note

hi fae, how do you feel about people saying that kevin only tolerates madison bc of kate and therefore they won't work? :/

Hi! Well, I think these people are definitely not watching This Is Us (or any type of television, for that matter) or living on Earth. Or seeing and unseeing things according to their pre-established opinions. Either way, that’s absolutely not true. On most of their interactions Kevin is polite, as you can see it here:

I love this part because there are at least three other guests closer to him but she is the first person he offers a glass of champagne... If you pay attention to the scene, he is holding THREE glasses. He gives one to Madison and he puts another on a shelf, I don’t know about the third, but there were definitely more women in the room that could’ve had that(those) glass(es), he just didn’t care, lol. Also, Rebecca is looking and smiling at him, but he doesn’t even notice it because he is too busy looking at Madi... I mean, another direction.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com (all the gifs above)

Kevin doesn’t look very happy with the idea of dancing and still he doesn’t protest.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/616600065662926848/kevin-x-madison-height-difference

This gif doesn’t show it, but he turns his head and watches Madison as she walks away just like on gif number 4.

Siding with her during a conversation with Kate.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com (all the gifs above)

Comforting Madison.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/618991372262916096/kevin-looking-at-madison-nothing-but-blue-skies

He isn’t smiling here, but does this seem to be a person that is annoyed with the other? He has soft, delicate, gentle eyes while looking at her.

And this whole thing about Kevin despising Madison and only tolerating her because of Kate is even more ridiculous because on this scene he is basically begging her to invite him to come inside.

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/616600065662926848/kevin-x-madison-height-difference

If he thought her company was so unpleasant, why would he accept it in the first place? He could’ve left and gone to Rebecca’s house instead, or come back after Toby got back from work, he could’ve called Randall, or Nicky, or simply gone somewhere else to make new friends because it’s not like struggles when he socializes with strangers.

And here is what Madison had to say about her night with him:

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com/post/617836054621339648/do-you-want-to-know-why-i-think-i-slept-with

He made her feel comfortable enough to be her true self and he ended up spending at least a few hours with Madison. He spent the night at her place and only left the next morning... If her presence were so repellent, why didn’t he leave after the sex? Madison didn’t point a gun at him and forced him to stay. Even after he woke up, he kept lying next to her on the bed without a shirt on... Plus, there was the option of leaving without saying anything while she was asleep, but he didn’t do that.

Actually, the only time I believe Kevin was rude to her was at the hospital, but you have to analyze the context: his sister went into early labor, there was an endless list of possible complications to the baby and herself, it took hours until Kevin got some information, Kevin had been drinking, he was dealing with his failed attempt to connect with his uncle, the frustration of having relapsed after an entire year of being sober, feeling guilty for lying to everyone about it and the fear of losing Zoe because of those lies. He was going through A LOT. Those were probably some of the hardest hours of his life. Yet, at first he treated her just fine, it was the fact she wouldn’t stop talking (because that’s the way she was coping with the situation and usually what he does too when he’s sober, btw) that he said those things to her. Now, I don’t drink, but as far as I know people on hangover usually have headaches so it’s not weird that they will avoid noises and I remember Kevin saying a few minutes before that he was on hangover.

I also remember that he immediately regretted it and apologized to Madison, but she didn’t listen and left (I don’t blame her). And when she walked away he was hit by a dose of consciousness and realized his was being “an ass” and apologized to his family. She wasn’t the only one, he was snapping at everybody, because it wasn’t Madison, Randall or anyone else that was annoying him. It wasn’t personal. It was the stress of the entire situation that was making Kevin take it out on everybody. Plus, even though he didn’t specifically snap at Zoe, when he went outside to get some air and clear his head, she offered him company and Kevin shut her out.

CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com/post/618572824853069824/im-sorry-what-exactly-are-you-doing-here

By the way, Kevin bumped into Madison when he was getting out of the elevator and attempted to apologize for a second time.

Another scene people use as an ‘example’ of rudeness is this moment on the season finale, but I sincerely disagree. Here’s why:

Kevin was in the middle of a heated fight with his brother and that was almost getting physical when Madison arrived for the party.

And when she showed up at the door he just told her the truth: it wasn’t a good time.

Now, does that look like an angry, utterly annoyed and disdainful face for you? Because the way I see it, it’s just a guy who’s weary and not in his best state of mind, which is comprehensible since he was in a middle of an argument, his mother’s health is deteriorating, Randall had talked her into doing a clinical trial in the other side of the country despite her previous refusal and that’s just SOME of the heavy stuff he was dealing with at that specific moment.

However, Madison doesn’t bother and enters the place anyway.

And Kevin doesn’t yell at her, protest or leaves, he just lets her in and closes the door.

Again: does this look like he hates Madison so much like some people make it seem?

THIS is being annoyed and/or angry:

CREDIT: https://rostovarps.tumblr.com/post/165520445651/kevin-pearson-in-this-is-us-01x07-the-best

CREDIT: https://adyadintheforce.tumblr.com/post/177326964546/shame-on-all-of-us

And this is just being upset, tired, feeling like all your energy has been drained out of your body:

If you watch the scene, his face on the picture above and on this gif has identical expressions:

CREDIT: https://ltbelanna.tumblr.com/post/189147462109/this-is-us-4x08-sorry-im-sorry-me-too-see

And really, how did these people expect him to react? Did they expect him to smile, kiss her and propose a second round of hookup? His reaction made perfect sense to everything that was happening at the time.

Do they believe things would’ve been different if it had been someone else at the door, like Kate’s neighbor Gregory or somebody from her support group? Do they think that if it had been another person he would’ve hugged them, offer coffee and crack jokes? That the problem was Madison and not the situation he was in with Randall and Rebecca?

Anywaaaay, by the end of their conversation he had already softened up and was even slightly smiling at her.

CREDIT: https://millennial-mess.tumblr.com/post/613565105725194240/im-so-sick-of-chasing-ghosts-im-tired-of

CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/620438418688704513/you-da-best

Sure, it wan’t a wide smile because it wasn’t like his problems had disappeared all of a sudden, but he had found a silver lining in the midst of everything.

And being exhausted, upset, annoyed, stressed or angry is part of the human experience and part of being in a relationship of ANY KIND: romantic, platonic, familial. Taking it out on someone can happen sometimes as well. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows. People are not perfect. People are not robots. They navigate through negative feelings and emotions too. It’s how things are in real life and also how things are on television, specially on This Is Us, which is a show that focuses on relationships and emotions.

Jack and Rebecca, Beth and Randall, Kate and Toby, Randall and Kevin, Kevin and Kate, Nicky and Kevin, Kevin and Sophie, William and Randall, Kevin and Cassidy all had moments like this... The list goes on. Would the same people define these relationships/friendships as unsuccessful and fake because of a few unfriendly moments? I doubt it, because what really defines a relationship as healthy and successful is the people’s ability to recognize their own mistakes, forgive each other, work on themselves as individuals and as friends/a couple/a family and getting even closer and stronger after facing the hardships. It’s not smiling, talking, hugging and kissing 24/7 because nobody does that. Maybe for a few days and weeks, but you won’t last even a month behaving like this, let alone YEARS.

And the complications are also what keep the story interesting and engaging. I don’t mean something like toxicity and abuse, but if couples, relatives and friends don’t disagree, argue and face problems out and within their relationship, the show doesn’t go anywhere. There must be conflict. There must be drama. And there must be happiness. It’s about balancing these aspects out.

If they want to watch something that’s always sunshine and rainbows and where the characters are always happy, they should watch a TV show targeted to three-year-old children, because honestly This Is Us has never been and will never be this kind of show.

And we know Kevin has a pregnant fiancee on season 5 and since This Is Us is not a soap opera, I seriously doubt Kevin will go out there impregnating multiple women with multiple children and multiple sets of twins. I reckon it’s safe to say it’s Madison. That means they will go through one of the most amazing and yet vulnerable and challenging experiences two people can ever face and instead of pulling them apart, it will only bring them closer to the point they will get engaged. For me, this sounds like a relationship that is DEFINITELY WORKING.

#kevin pearson #kevison #this is us #sorry I didn't have gifs for everything and this is long lol #anon

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criquette-was-here · 4 years

Text

Long Awaited Replies

Hello everyone! It’s been awhile since my last activity here. Stuff’s just got real last few months and I am now experiencing some heavy RLS which makes the future of the whole Feverfew project quite uncertain. I’m very annoyed by the fact I have to move the release date over and over again, but, fingers crossed, I’ll be able to manage to make it this year. But before I post any updates, I need to answer my inbox!

@landgraabsims said:

feverfew is absolutely gorgeous!! is it inspired by any real-life places or towns? i live in england and it reminds me of a few in-the-middle-of-nowhere villages i've visited c:

Thanks @landgraabsims! Yes, Feverfew is based on British countryside aesthetics without any towns or villages in particular. It has a bit of everything, really. It’s a fantasy place after all. But I do use a lot of real life references for making landmarks for it.

Anonymous said:

any idea of the date of release for feverwood? just redownloaded sims 2 and im in loveee

Hey Anon! I’m glad you like it! I really hope to make it happen this year.

Anonymous said:

i would die (or pay) for zagoskin omg it looks like TS3

Oh, thank you, Anon!

@katzengirl said:

Hello Criquette! I don't have a challenge or a question or a request. I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate the things you've shared with us! I hope you're having a good day.

Hello Kristina! That is so sweet, thank you ^___^ I hope you’re doing fine too!

Anonymous said:

Hi there, Criquette. Been having fun with your Rural Charm set and the Better Lighting. Ran into one small problem with the RC. One of the narrow curves picks up the texture from a road section with a crosswalk, so that looks a bit odd (30degree inner?). And a question - is there a Better Lighting for the Iron Bracket street lamp with the seasons banner? Thought the iron bracket would work, but it's not. Anywho, Thank You for ALL the work you put into making our hoods look fantastic!

Hey Anon! Thanks! Depending on the road DR you’re using, there can be some texture issues here and there since Rural Charm is optimised for road texture without any markings (apart from the broken white line). As for the Iron light post with a banner – no. I’ve only made 2 Maxis’ base game lamp posts.

Anonymous said:

It's amazing how this one game embraces so many different types of players. I'm planning to create my very own nh from scratch, and I'd be a liar not to recognize how your game pics inspired me to the task (not to mention your ever impressive work of hood deco cc throughout these years). For all that, as much as I'm just another anon, thank you, sincerely. But that left me wondering: do you also/still play with the other ts2 game modes or they no longer interest you?

Oh, that is so kind, Anon. Thank you! Yes, I do love to actually play the game. I enjoy building/decorating lots as much as live mode. In fact, I often get carried away during playtest sessions and just keep playing in lot mode and that’s why there are lots like ‘The Tower Inn’ or ‘The Moose & Beaver’ or sims like Tilda Phidbach, WHT-FC28 servo and their field lab.

Anonymous said:

Criquette, do you know something about this project? thesims1master tumblr (the idea is to make the game look like the beta version. I ask, because I liked it so much, but I haven't been able to find the person behind it and I'm very curious to see more or download it, as well as his world, which I've been waiting for since last year lol)

Hey Anon! Oh, I don’t think I know anything about this project, no. But it looks rather interesting!

@forever-evenfall said:

Hey Criquette! I just downloaded your Lighting Remedy (because I only just realised I needed to change the txt file and not just download it lol) and when I placed your lighting text in the program files, the lighting itself worked, but the terrain itself was flashing red. Do you know what I did wrong? I literally don’t think I can play without the fix lol. I am using UC and I placed it in the Fun With Pets/SP9/TSData/Res/Lights folder. Should I have put it somewhere else?

Hello Eve! I might be wrong, but isn’t it Mansions & Gardens SP that stands for UC? Anyway, flashing red terrain is really weird consequence for just replacing a txt file. Neighborhood terrain doesn’t have any dynamic light. It has a light map instead which comes with Lighting remedy too. If you only just replace the lighting txt file without putting LR light map into your ‘Downloads’ folder, the only issue you should get would by unsynchronized light directions for hood decos and the terrain itself.

Anonymous said:

I'm having a problem: not all the decorations I put in the neighborhood are showing up in simulation mode, even with the fade off and the long-range vision on. I think there is some code that I need to add to the game files to make all the decorations appear. But I can't find how to do this: c Can you help me?

Hello Anon! Basically, there’s only one type of hood deco that isn’t showing up in lot mode and that is neighborhood effects. All the decals, flowers, fields, all the animated stuff (except for texture animation, e.g. Maxis’ marquee sign) is not showing up in lot mode. There’s nothing we can do about it. Yet. If you think that there’s a proper hood deco that isn’t showing up in lot mode, please PM me with some screenshots and we could try to sort it out.

Anonymous said:

Hello--Anon who asked about additional pieces for the Rural Charm set--I see now, thank you for explaining about the floating intersections. Is there anything you recommend then, to add on to existing roads? Otherwise, thanks for taking the time to explain.

Hello Anon! Oh, you’re most welcome. There is a tedious way to replace a texture on the existing tile of the real road, to make in into intersection so that it would connect better visually with decorative road pieces. But that takes time. What you have to do is to determine the tile you want to edit using technique described in this tutorial and then you have to change the texture name in the corresponding line. The texture names for the intersections (their index name parts) can be found in any road DR beforehand.

@sunradersimblr said:

Hi, I'm just wondering if you've ever done hood deco of a highway rest stop like the type we see in the U.S. along interstates and state highways, just a green space, usually, with toilet facilities and a place for a picnic and parking lot? I need one for a story and thought I'd check with you. Thanks for all the great work you share!

Hello Sunrader! That would be really nice addition for the highway set, but I haven’t made it. Thought it’s quite possible to make something similar if you use ‘One side exit piece’ from the motorway set and add some picnic tables, umbrellas and benches using street tables & benches set. There’s also many 4t2 deco conversions for toilets and other small size decos that would help to create a decent resting stop.

@nataliepop said:

Hi there Criquette! There's a new game called Townscaper which I think you'd like. The architecture has an English aesthetic and you build cities or towns but it all starts on an ocean. It's in early access, so I hope by the time it officially releases they add boats and piers. Look it up on Steam or Youtube. I saw it via someone who usually does Cities Skylines videos. Btw, have you ever played that? Also, apart from sims what else do you enjoy playing? Anyway, hope you are having a good day!

Hey Natpop! Thanks for a lovely game suggestion! I’ve checked it out and it looks really fun. Can’t say I’d play it though XD All my free time (which I don’t have atm) is reserved for simming hood deco making working on Feverfew ^^

Anonymous said:

hey~ i love all of your stuff, you're so talented (๑♡⌓♡๑) i wanted to ask, do you think you'll ever release feverfew's sc4 map?

Thank you Anon! That’s very kind. I’m not sure if there’s any point in releasing SC4 map I used for Feverfew because it’s completely differs from the way it looks now. The road layout is different, there’s no canal, no islands on the river, hills are different, etc. It has been heavily terraformed and edited during development process. I’d recommend just to wait till the Feverfew neigborhood release.

Anonymous said:

Hi! Do you have any idea of when Feverfew will be released? :)

Hey Anon! It will be released this year, hopefully!

Anonymous said:

Hello :D Is it possible to get your linden trees as lot objects in build/garden section? I love them and they beautify my neighborhood but could really use an option to select them on lots too :)

Hello Anon! Yes, that’s possible, though I can’t say if I could make it myself. What I can say though, is that there’s a linden trees redux coming soon. It would make linden trees look better and highly optimised so that it would only take 4,5 Mb instead of 60 Mb without any losses in texture quality and resolution.

#replies #anon #Feverfew #nataliepop #sunradersimblr #forever-evenfall #katzengirl #landgraabsims

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unravelling-the-world · 3 years

Text

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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onepunchmiss · 5 years

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OPM s2e3 Live Blog

“The Hunt Begins”

Ok I had 3 screenshots leaked to me before seeing the episode, but only one of them was spoiler-y in that I wasn’t sure if we’d get that far in the episode. And of course not only did I not leave work early, but had to stay an hour late. So without further delay, I’m hoppin to it. Reminder, I’m watching each episode as someone who is caught up with both the manga and web comic.

Alright, off the bat we’re getting the Charanko expulsion over with. I wasn’t expecting that, but it makes sense- it’s a good hook to lead with and set up the Garou issue before actually getting into Garou destroying everyone.

BTW I am Still not over the opening theme- nope it still gets me both visually and musically. (I definitely was not listening to the song on repeat at work all day. nope. what kind of nerd would do that definitely not me hahaaaaaa)

I like that Charanko doesn’t bat an eye that The Worlds Strongest Man King is there, or Blizzard of Hell, he’s just like ‘ah they’re multiplying.’ Fuckin kek. Saitama oh sweetheart, “Silver Fang” may be cool but to us you’ll always be the One Punch Man oh dear my heart

oh OH YES Guys you have no idea how excited I am for this fight?? I know Tank Top Master isn’t really popular but like I’m a gym rat so I’ve got a soft spot for him and Superalloy. Guys, in the databook his favorite things are chicken breasts and protein. Also I mean hes actually a decent guy too, but----- Anyway, wasn’t too hard finding Garou, was it Charanko?

Oh, oh right. Let me clarify I’m excited to see TTM get some screen time. Also to watch trash son (aka Garou) kick some ass. I’m, I’m not excited about him kicking Mumen’s ass specifically. This is gonna hurt.

(garou scary face)

His faces literally make me shout WOAH at my screen ok thanks scary trash son. Ah, lookit the tanktopper army!! Fukkin Tank Top Mask is there to I’m- yes, just yes.

YES. MY BRO MY MAN KICK SOME ASS. Garou’s little ‘nani??’ omfg perfect.WAIT the little ‘haha~~’ THAT was perfect. I also need to point out here that in the manga Garou has a lot of crazy faces, like his expressions are very extra, (another way he’s a foil to Saitama, hah) but seeing them actually in motion speaking is borderline uncanny valley? They’ve creeped me out twice already and he’s been on screen for like 20 seconds? I mean i guess he IS going for the scary-monster thing, so uh, good job u freeky trash man you.

Oh, Tiger and Black Hole, I only missed you a little bit.

BOMB. ITS BOMB. YES. AAAHHH. I MEAN I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO SHOW UP IN THE EPISODE BUT IM STILL? HYPED??

Man the Garou music is really intense, holy shit. If I’m not mistaken something at least similar played when he was fighting at the HQ last episode. Honestly, I hope it’s not gonna be this sounding track every time garou gets in a fight. Cause, y’know, ge gets in a lot of those. It’s only been twice now and it’s still during establishing character moments so it passes, but I really really hope they switch it up or it will lose it’s epic feel.

Oh, there he goes with his creepy faces.

FUCK Mumen You FOOL. Also, how did you take that hit so well??? Tiger and Black hole are right for once. Oh you fools. Oh you fools. Stop it’s gonna get worse. ITS GONNA GET WORSE stOP TalKInG

Wait did Garou actually fake walk away in the manga?? I don’t remember that??? Gotta double check myself there cause that threw me off like? Garou??

Garou: 50% Uncanney Faces, 50% Badass

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand back to the freeky faces. Also, TTM’s “KUSO!!”

oh.

oh god.

The sound as he repeatedly bashes Mumen’s skull into the concrete. REPEATEDLY. my stomach. This fight is a rollercoaster of hype and pain oh no

Here have this screnecap so you can suffer, too

I must say, watching Garou fight otherwise is an absolute joy. The rest of this scene was so dynamic. I loved the way just glided through everyone and bounced around so fluidly. Keeping the water stream fist throughout it was also visually really pleasing. I need more. Give me more Garou fights, this is AMAZING. And that put us about half way through the episode like I predicted, which means I have no idea at what scene the episode will end.

“He’s here” Oh that was funny. Was that filler? I dont remember that either good shit good shit

YES IT THE

B A N A N A T I M E

TTM: “At least say I put up a good fight!!” Oh sweetheart I love you and appreciate you you did great

OH MY FUCK OH MY GOD OH FUCK GOOD OH FUCK SHIT FUCK

Oh shit that was a cool gag, how the newspaper flew past and garou just appeared. also. The most beautiful friendship is about to start and oh my god I’m so excited. Ok really I won’t lie- I would have been SCREAMING at Tareo on the screen if the didn’t just lead with Zombieman’s face in the catalog. I live for that pout. And his eyebrow is quirked like the heck u lookin at just. F. I’ve exhausted all my energy screaming at that. I’m so sorry.

Wait wait they still showed the side of his face again guys I’ve got it so bad for that 2D man help

I’ve waited so long for this scene. OH MY FUCK the little leg bob guys someone gif it NOW. I love both of them so much. Also, Tareo’s voice is adorable. Watching that kid go through some shit is gonna be heart wrenching. FFF Anyway, it looks like we are getting GoldenBall and Spring Mustachio this episode? I was torn either way if we’d see that much. huh.

Oohhh Shit Sea King and Melzalgald! Wassup flashbacks?? Oh my gosh Saitama looks so excited I think thats the happiest we’ve seen him in a long time? No wonder he takes an interest in martial arts! AH! The ticket! The ticket! The tournament ticket!! I know a bunch of people considered the tournament filler and found it annoying, but I’m so excited for it!! Like, it seriously gave me a whole new respect for Lightning Max and Snek, I can’t wait to see those boys get the spotlight for a second again!

OMFG What is this jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-- wtf I am Cackling?? Oh my fuck its still going this is Peak Comedy

AH! I missed them! And I wish the screen wasn’t so dark, but otherwise SEE WHAT I MEAN? Shit watching Garou move is fun as hell, even if he’s barely moving. Also, is that legit bullet fire sound effects? I also love that those two get drinks together regularly enough that Spring knew something was up when GB wasn’t there. So good so good.

Garou: “Ding ding ding” Me: glorious you bastard

Question, what the fuck is that sword made of that it shoots rainbows for miles? Is it the power of gay? I mean I personally don’t ship Spring and GB buuuuuuuuuuuuuut…………………………….

OH IM SO DISAPPOINTED GAROU DIDNT JUST FLIP US ALL OFF JUST A THUMBS DOWN CMON I WAS EXCITED FOR THAT I FEEL RIPPED OFF. Also there’s that music again, but it didn’t play the whole time thank goodness.

“Here comes the fan service to your screen” amirite?

Eh at least I got the satisfaction of watching the sleezeball get decked in the face. The brunette’s face when he asked for a kiss on the cheek is SUCH a MOOD. And oh fuck the ‘relax its for peace” Those two girls are the real stars of this episode I love them.

Obligatory “YES”ing at the screen rn hold on

OH FUCK GAROUS REACTION IS PRICELESS

Hey wait. HEY WAIT ARE THEY GONNA SHOW MY TRASH SON WAKING UP IN THE TRASH WHERE HE BELONGS??? THAT’S VERY IMPORTANT VERY

THE POST CREDIT SCENE. Genos I love you never change. Just. look at this precious boy. And the voice acting is perfect. I’m glad they ended on a humorous note this time. Gold.

IN SUMMARY: I honestly don’t feel like I have much to say or reflect on. I just really loved this episode. Favorite one yet. I mean of course I’m going to like it more as the story kicks the fuck up, but I genuinely had zero complaints, and actively enjoyed watching the animation.

Warning for next week btw, I’m going to be out of the country and also not really near civilization, so I probably won’t have wifi, so theres a good chance I wont be able to blog next week’s episode till I get back. Which I’m actually pissed about. because

WE ARE GOING TO GET TO SEE METAL BAE KICK SOME MONSTER ASS AND IVE WAITED SO MANY YEARS TO SEE HIS STUPID DELINQUENT FACE IN ACTION FUCK MY TIMING MAN IM BOTH EXCITED AND PISSED of all the weeks I had to live in the wilderness UHG. Bet your ass I’m going to TRY MY DAMNDEST to get internet next Tuesday.

I’ll hopefully see yall next week, thanks for reading!

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imjustabore · 5 years

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50 Facts About MEEE

1. My favorite holiday is probably halloween because, first off all you can be whatever you want and secondly you have an excuse to eat candy, I do like Christmas too, but I don’t like the weeks leading up to Christmas because everyones so stressed out

2.I love anything chocolate

3. I have such a phobia against moths, I don’t know if anyone else has this fear, but every time I see moth I flip out.

4. My longest playlist is 641 songs long

5. I wouldn’t consider myself an introvert or an extrovert, I think i’m right in the middle because I absolutely love talking to people and making new people, but thats not necessarily how I get my energy, I always need to recharge alone and the most relaxing place to do that is just writing alone in my room

6. I hate big and loud crowds of people, I can’t stand parties because there just to many people yelling

7. Yet I wanna live in the city when I get older

8. I love waking up early, I normally wake up at 6:30-7:00am on the weekends, just because I'm excited for the day ahead

9. I think horoscopes are complete bullshit, but there still fun to read tho

10. My favorite bands and singers at the moment are Weezer, Panic at the Disco, Teagan and Sara, Marina and the Diamonds,Green Day, Pink Floyd, and Florence + the Machine.

11. I’m really small for my age, I’m 16 and only 4’11

12. I’m not really athletic, I like to play tennis butI don't play for my school(it was too much of a commitment) I do a ton of clubs(10 to be more specific) at my school and love to sing and do theatre

13. I wanna double major in psychology and history for college

14. I get pissed off the most by people who think are the shit when in reality there just like everybody else

15. I’m an only child

16. I currently identify as pansexual because I could literally careless about what gender you are, just be a nice person and I’ll consider dating you

17. I don’t really want many tattoos, I just want one simple tattoo on my ankle. preferably something that symbolizes something important, because if my tattoo is something stupid or meaningless, I’ll end up regretting it 10 years down the road

18. I was born at 9:56pm in a thunderstorm

19. The first thing I notice in a person is there smile

20. I hardly use sarcasm,(at least around people I don’t know that well) I’m scared that people will think I’m being serious

21. I feel like the hype over meeting celebrities are highly overrated, like just think of it this way, Celebrities are just like anyone else, except for the fact that they happen to have a passion for(music, theatre, a certain sport, being rich etc) and I know that its really cool to meet a celebrity up close at a concert or a meet and greet, but I do not think it worth spending thousands of dollars on a front row seat at a concert.

22. I’m a Slytherin

23. For some reason I get super uncomfortable with up close eye contact, unless if im super close to you. So sometimes when you talk to me,I don’t look you straight in the eye just cause its so awkward

24. I did 6 years of dance as a kid, but I didn’t like wearing tights and the fact that rehearsals were on Fridays so I quit

25. I absolutely love fall, its not to hot and not too cold.Like all of my favorite holidays are on the horizon. Apple cider dounts are back in season(which by the way are amazing) and the foliage is gorgeous. Whats not to love about fall?

26. I’ve really never dated anyone before, I’ve been on dates with people but they never end up working out and either them or me end the relationship before it can get too serious

27. I do have other forms of social media(not naming them here) but I really wish I didn’t, I want to focus on writing, singing or talking to my family instead of what Tiffany posted on snapchat or how many likes I got on this photo and comparing myself to other people who seem to have better life then me.

28. I’m extremely quiet in class, I’m not really that social because people are rude and judgmental and im scared people would make fun of me if I say the wrong thing, So i’d just rather hang out in my small group of friends

29. My favorite musicals are probably Fun Home, Dear Evan Hansen and Next to Normal

30. I love anything that has a ton of carbs in it, BRING ON THE PASTA, BAGALS AND BREAD PLEASEE

31. I hate a lot of foods that people are kinda obsessed with I hate fast food cause it makes me feel gross afterwards, I hate juice and soda(I don’t know how people like the taste of them), and I don’t get the hype over Nutella(bread tastes better with butter)

32. I love all types of music except country

33. My friend and I wrote cliche high school romance story on wattpad thats like 2 chapters, I wrote the plot and she helped with my grammar but I ended up getting bored on it so we quit. Its still on my account if you wanna check it out(im warning you its trash thoo)

34. I started a creative writing club at my school for like 6 months but then the teacher that ran it ended up telling us she couldn’t do it anymore.

35. Im terrible in high pressure situations, like for example studying for a big test

36. I have naturally curly hair, but I straighten it everyday

37. I have a small birthmark on my back that looks like a heart

38. If I do have kids, I only want one, cause giving birth aint fun

39. My lucky number is 12... why?? Absolutely no idea

40. I wouldn’t consider my style girly or tomboyish..i sorta just wear what I want. I sometime like wearing a flannel, khakis and a snapback and sometimes I feel like wearing a dress, heels and a ton of makeup. It just depends on the day

41. If I had to have a dream job and I would wanna be a singer. I would wanna be a combination of Billy Joel and Amy Winehouse(without the drugs) and be a soulful singer who writes relatable songs about deep stuff with a catchy piano tune in the background

42. I love Ben and Jerrys. My favorite pint is probably Phish Food(which is chocolate ice cream with marshmallow and caramel swirls) or Cookie Dough(they’re ice cream actually has cookie dough in it!!!!!) I would love to work there cause I love ice cream but I think the closet one to my house is like 30 miles away:(

43. I hate needles, its to the point that were if I'm told I have to get a shot or draw blood i burst into tears.

44. I only drink water and tea... every other drink is gross

45. I can’t cook for my life. The first time I tried to cook. I tried to cook a grilled cheese when I was like 11 and home alone. I didn’t know how to use the stove because my parents thought i’d do something stupid and get myself hurt. So I decide to see if i could toast my grilled cheese in the toaster(which was horizontal btw) and the cheese melted and broke the toaster...whoops

46. I tried to play basketball once in the 4th grade, but then i cried when this girl yelled at me for being afraid of the ball and from that day forward I vowed to never play basketball again.

47. I have a tendency to make stupid choices without thinking them through. Its almost like that part of my brain thats like “is this a good idea to say/do” is gone and I just be what I think is the best within the moment

48. My hand writing is terrible, my teachers, parents and classmates always complain about how unreadable my unwriting is.

49. I play the piano and a little bit of drums

50. Im tired and want to sleep

#50 facts about me #all about me #me #lol #im sorry #mood

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laurent-ofvere · 6 years

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♥ Hii I'm back. Btw, this story is from another fandom i wanted it to share it with you. Maybe it makes you and a few others happy ♥

22 ♥ … Later, Damen learns that the kid hasn’t claimed anything, that most of the claims were made for him or followed him from his previous school, VT High School. He learns that the only reason people weren’t boring their eyes into his back on his first day back was because they were too busy boring it into the new kid’s with the skin issues on his sixth day.23 ♥“How was my favorite son’s first day back?” his mother greets him with a copious dinner, steak and veggies and side dishes that will last them for days. “It was very good,” Damen says, smiling. They eat their roasted vegetables, Damen does the dishes, then they both on the couch with Netflix. When she falls asleep, Damen carries his tiny mother to bed, pulls the covers, then apologizes for ruining her life and chasing his dad away, the same way he always does when she’s finally asleep.24 ♥ Damen goes to the pool before school today. He puts on his silicone swim cap and his speedos and dives head first. He does five laps of Breaststroke, three of Freestyle, and two of Butterfly. The latter is the toughest but he needs to work on his upper body, and it’s proving to be the most effective. By the time he’s finished, he is exhausted and happy. He lets himself float before the pool starts filling up with other people and spreads his limbs in a star shape25 ♥ He floats for a few minutes, closes his eyes, and breathes through his nose, doing his very best to ignore the smell of chlorine and chemicals. He dives into the water until he reaches the bottom then comes back up again. He plays around the pool like a child and lets water heal him how it knows so very well to. Water all over and around him.26 ♥ When he is in water, he is not surrounded by air. He is free from it, from him, from everything. Only in water is he completely free. Or fire, he thinks, then shakes his head. The only reason he started swimming in the first place was because his therapist recommended to establish or at least attempt a relationship with water as opposed to fire.27 ♥ And while he was skeptical at first, Damen ended up falling in love with it. The water. It kept his mind off of air and fire. Fire… Laurent… Damen doesn’t know why his mind flashes to the new kid and his skin condition, but it does.28 ♥ They don’t have many classes together despite both being third years. Damen is in creative arts and Laurent is in science, he learns. He sees him running from one class to another in the countless layers he bundles himself in. He sees him running from the library to the counselor’s office. He sees him running from the counselor’s office to the entrance of the school.29 ♥ Damen sees him running everywhere, suddenly hyper aware of his every movement. And his body almost tingles whenever Laurent walks past him in the hallways—although the boy never spares him a glance. It’s almost pathetic how he wishes the boy would spare him a glance.30 ♥ Damen isn’t sure why but he feels somehow connected to the new kid with the weird skin condition. He had once been the kid with the weird mental condition and weird mental breakdown after all. He had been the kid at the receiving end of ‘What if it’s just made up? What does bipolar even mean?’ and all of Arvid and his group of bullies’ torments.31 ♥ He notices that Laurent doesn’t have any friends, that he doesn’t speak to anyone and that nobody speaks to him. When he isn’t in classes, he’s usually in the library with a book, or somewhere Damen can’t see him.32 ♥ “What’s your obsession with this guy?” Lydos asks when they’re both smoking in the yard while Damen hurts his neck trying to catch a glimpse of Laurent doing his daily run from the building to the gates. “I’m not obsessed with him,” Damen scoffs, pulling his black ray bans down so that everyone could stop looking at where his eyes are wandering to. “Dude, no offense. I know you like underdogs and stuff, but that guy is not an underdog.”33 ♥ “What do you mean?”, “I heard he’s actually pretty horrible and mean.” Damen rolls his eyes. Has Lydos seen the kid? He looks absolutely harmless and adorable in his huge puffer jacket and his two thousand layers. He actually wore a beanie to school today, and Damen could almost see his eyes. He can’t believe he doesn’t know the color of his eyes yet. But it’s okay, because at least he got to see his flushed cheeks.34 ♥ “Seriously, he’s quite a bitch. Don’t go near him. I’m serious. He’s like those cute little dogs that bite you if you get too close,” says Lydos. “He’ll rip you a new one.”.. “Oh, wouldn’t that be nice,” Damen smiles. “Shut up! God!”.. Laurent is not horrible and mean. He’s as harmless as Damen imagines him to be. He’s worked on this script in his head the night before. He knows he can make it work. If this boy won’t meet his eyes, Damen would give him a reason to.35 ♥ So that Wednesday afternoon, Damen waits for it to hit 13:58 right outside of the library. He knows Laurent sees the counselor at 14:00 because Damen’s session is right before his. Only this time, Damen faked a bathroom emergency to let himself out early and camp outside the library. Laurent should be coming out any second now. It all works according to plan. Well, almost. The doors swing open and Laurent and his twenty-one layers nearly bump into him, nearly.36♥ It’s as though Laurent’s body is conditioned to feel another being’s presence and stop or change its route right on time. He’s like those self-driving cars that know exactly when to pull the breaks. Laurent, however, seems shaken from the near proximity, and his eyes—blue, so blue, a beautiful contrast to the red on his cheeks, so red—are wide and scared. He’s breathless and Damen almost feels bad. He feels terrible.37♥ Perhaps Laurent really made this whole thing up because he cannot stand to be touched. Perhaps Damen is making him uncomfortable by stripping him of his personal freedom and forcing him into a triggering situation. “Are you crazy?”, Damen has spent a few days imagining the first words Laurent would say to him, but these weren’t on the list. “A little bit actually. Yeah,” Damen smiles. “Forgive me if I—”..“Don’t do this again. Are you new or something? You can’t come near me.”38♥ Damen does see fear in the short moments they spend staring at each other. But it is not fear of being touched. It is not fear of holding one’s gaze. Laurent doesn’t look half as withdrawn as Damen pictured him to be. If anything, he is glowing with confidence and self-assuredness. He is glowing with it, but he is taming it. It’s being strangled by an all too consuming fear: the fear of hurting a being, not of being hurt.39♥ Laurent walks away after that and Damen is still buzzing from the warmth and the heat that just spread inside him. He’s smiling to himself as though he’s just been injected with a happiness serum, the same one people who do not suffer from depression believe exist. Being near this kid is similar to standing next to a fireplace in Christmas with a hot cup of chocolate milk, and Damen’s fingers are aching to touch, to hurt with it if it’s going to hurt.♥ hope this doesnt annoy you, byee youre not annoying me but tbh im way too lazy to keep copy and pasting every single one of these messages in order so if you wanna share this story and post it properly then i can check it out that way!

#asks

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xiaolongpunch · 7 years

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Rwby’s redemption

I’ve started watching rwby ever since the summer that volume 2 was released. My friends made me watch the four trailers and I was immediately captivated by the breath of fresh air the show promise from its beginning. Four badass girls with unique weapons and abilities? I was already hooked from that point. I binge watch volume after that day, and I immediately got harry potter vibe with the school aspect of the show. I also understood from the get go the the 8 characters we were introduced to in the beginning would be the main cast, that being team RWBY and team JNPR.

This is where my first critique comes in, and it won’t be directed at rooster teeth or miles-kerry or even monty, but rather at the fandom. Volume 1 wasn't shy at showing us who the important characters were, how? The were coloured in and we got to know their names in the first few episodes. The rest was either shadowed in, appeared a couple of times, or simply never be seen again. We knew the main cast was the two teams, and other subsequent characters were more side characters, exemple: Cardin and team CRDL, Velvet, Ozpin, Glynda, Roman, and the other professors and Sun. And one of the major complaints that volume 1 gets is that it was focused on Jaune to much. Statistically speaking, his arc lasted 25% of volume 1, lasting from episode 11 to 14. Other arcs from this volume included Blake’s, Weiss’s conflict with Ruby and probably other minor ones I won’t speak about. Blake’s arc lasted from episode 15 to 16, buut continued into the subsequent volume. Making for 12.5% of the first volume, and about, well the entire volume. Volume 2 was dedicated into busting the white fang and Roman, which directly tied into Blake’s arc from Volume 1, making it the longest arc up to this date since it is still continuing into volume 5. The third arc was the conflict between Ruby and Weiss, although somewhat minor, this arc still lasted for a couple of episodes spread apart from one another. The point being, Jaune’s arc is minor compared to other arcs happening in the show, since his only lasted 4 episodes in volume 1 alone. Sure he had speaking times in other volumes, but none revolved around him, and yet the fandom is still bitching and moaning that jaune is taking too much space. As mentioned before, Jaune IS one of the main 8, not liking him as a character is totally fine, but saying he is taking too much space is somewhat overreacting since he is one of the main characters.

Let’s go on, from V1 came V2, and to this date, it is probably one of my least favourite volumes. I feel like they focused a bit too much on the characters motivation during the mountain glenn arc. What was the point of Oobleck asking everyone why they wanted to be huntresses? It was a bit awkward and I feel like they could've gotten the same result, if not more, if they made the team sit down around a campfire and make them ask each other their motivation. They would’ve shared some exposition through, shown team rwby bonding, something the fandom has been asking for a while now (Something I will touch later on) aaand they would’ve been able to touch a lot more on Blake’s ongoing arc that way. Btw, this is how critiquing something is done, by talking about what felt wrong and give an example on how they could of improved themselves. I’ve seen way to many people complain and complain and never even explain how they could've improve on what they complained on, and then call what they did ‘critiquing’, but im digressing. Overall, they did what they wanted, expose us to more backstory and motivation, show us a bit more of who the characters are by telling us where they come from. This volume honestly showed me why Ruby is more childish in nature, and it also help set up what they wanted for her next volume. It showed me why Weiss is so cold and distant sometimes, it showed us why Blake acts the way she does..you get the point. It also helped setting up the next volume, which was a real plus.

Next comes V3, and I feel like, like the show, this was where the fandom started to really fall and divide. A reason why people started to become more toxic might have been because of Monty’s death. People started to think that because he died, Miles and Kerry started to ruin the show from his original idea. Especially after a controversial letter came out, you can read it here if you’d like. From that point, it was a shitstorm of fighting, between people who believed shane and people who didn’t. I have read the letter, and personally, I feel like they were some things right and some wrong. Shane seemed to have this idea that Monty was the only one planning the show, but it was with Miles and Kerry, Monty provided the ideas, MK wrote them out. Gray even addressed what the future of RWBY would be, and he mentioned this.

“For those wondering, Monty was heavily involved in shaping the future of the world of Remnant. His story ideas will live on, and you will also be able to see some of the animation he'd begun working on for Volume 3. For some time, the team has known the direction in which the next volumes will be headed, and Rooster Teeth is committed to bringing these tales to you.”

Like I said, you decide if you want to believe shane or not, but I think its clear that Monty planned his show with MK years ahead. And some of the ‘Critiques’ the show got addressed the wrong issues. That volume also sparked the lgbtq representaion controversy, ship wars begun, like I said, a shitshow began. It was also the volume that rwby turned dark and characters died off. And for some reason people got angry at MK for killing them off, because they thought it wasn't Monty’s idea. Except it was, and here is some other complaint. Roman was a major villain, you can't kill him! Actually he was said to be unimportant to the main story plot, and unfortunately I can't find the panel, but I remember that someone in the crwby mentioned that roman was kept alive longer than intended because he was like, but was eventually going to get killed off. Next was Penny’s death, not much complain on that side other then people saying they were sad she died, so nothing to say on that part. But the major character death that got lots of complaint was Pyrrha’s. People had two complaint about, it went too far, and that she was only meant to further Jaune’s character.

To address the first point, I will actually let Gray explain.

“Have we said thanks lately? Thanks again for sharing the story with our youngest audience members out there, it means a lot to us and we take the responsibility to heart. In return, we wanted to take a sec to reiterate some things. We've said from the very beginning that the story of RWBY is actually a pretty long journey, with all sorts of complex changes and themes over time. Because we can only put out so many episodes per year, and the story has been focused the way it has the first couple years, some viewers might assume that this is all there is to the show. Nnnnope. Much like other multi-year narratives such as the Harry Potters, Avatars (the airbending kind. well, the animated, not the live... look, the good one) and Star Wars...Warses... Warii? Forget it -- like other continuity-heavy sagas out there, RWBY will grow up over time. Our characters will be put to the test as the stakes get greater and the full scope of the story is revealed. The tone and imagery of the show will occasionally go darker and more mature. ...You did happen to notice the opening sequence that has been in front of the show all year, right?”

This comes from a blog post surrounding how dark rwby has turned. And I want to emphasize one particular point, because this will counter EVERY complaint on how the show is progressing in terms of change. RWBY was never meant to stay light hearted and happy, it was meant to grow and change, just like many other series out there, and the fact that people complain about it, is in my opinion, kinda ridiculous. When V3 came out, I understood this because it was new, but now? Really? You want change and character development, but complain once the plot thickens and the nature of the show changes? What kind of hypocritical shit is that? I also believe that Monty said that he got inspired by Games of Thrones in some aspect, and that was early on in the show, so death was going to be a thing, I guess the fandom just wants to ignore that though.

The second point is actually a bit more founded. But because of two sides. MK poorly handled team bonding, we barely got any bonding from any teams so we didnt know what they meant to each other other then a few things here and there. And the second side is the fandom’s collective hatred towards Jaune. The fandom complains that Pyrrha’s death was solely to further Jaune’s character, so im guessing they totally ignored her arc in v3 that actually explained why she decided to fight Cinder or why she died, or just simply decided to ignore, knowing the fandom, I wouldn’t be surprised with either reason. The fandom sometimes forgets to piece things together, to read between the lines. It was clear that Pyrrha had an internal conflict about becoming the maiden, and Jaune, being her combat partner, decided he wanted to be there for her, which only fueled the fandom’s belief that this arc was somehow around Jaune. I feel like fandom is honestly just pulling reasons out of their ass to hate on Jaune at this point, yes he did wrong things, but did anyone ever sat down to think that this was actually kinda the most natural portrayal of a teenage boy? Im digressing here, but Pyrrha’s was far more then Jaune, it was a sign, the show basically told us “Hey, things are getting serious, how serious? Welp a main character died trying to accomplish her goal” And her death couldnt of been more brilliant. It was extremely well executed, the symbolism behind it is incredible because it shows that the show isnt a fairy tail, not everything ends happily ever after, and most of all, it furthered Ruby’s character.

A lot of people dont realize that one of the premise of the show was loss of childhood and innocence. Ruby’s character is the very essence of that. And they broke her to pieces in V3, they killed her best friend, and then a close friend. She unlocked her powers and loss her innocence she had for the world. She grew so much as a character it that volume and its sad to see people not looking further then their noses to see how much has been happening in the show to focus on jaune and other minor things like ships.

To go back on Jaune’s portrayal, he is literally a fuckboi in v1/v2 and a bit of v3. Like, thats what his character is, you can hate it, hell I did, but screaming and shouting that his character needs to change because of that is fucking ridiculous, not everyone is meant to be liked, sometimes best portrayals are the ones that actually make you feel something strong about them, and the typical mary sue.

Lets move on, V4 in my opinion was the most poorly handled volume, for many things.They took to long to show how certain character grief and they didnt handle character development extremely well. Nora and Ren’s arc was...short, too short. I felt like they could of really digged into their childhood and their relationship since they grew up together, but they missed out on it. They tanked to show Ruby’s grief, or as the fandom would say, complete lack of. And the plot exposition from Qrow was too fast and really poorly handled in terms of delivery. I feel like they could’ve taken more time to explain some things like magic and the maidens, because the way it was delivered was more like it was speaking to the audience. The filled in gaps on what the audience didn’t know rather then explaining to the character what the hell was going on in their lives.

And I have a major problem with how the fandom ‘critiqued’ this volume. Again, the major complaints were not story, or plot related, they decided to complain on ships and portrayal, which btw is a valid thing if there is an actual problem. For exemple, they non-stopped complained on how Ruby seemingly didnt show any grief, but let me explain to you. People are different, whereas one person might cry their hearts out to someones death, another will feel sad for a bit and move on. We saw Ruby react to Pyrrha’s death, she unlocked her powers because of it. And there is many reason why she might have been shown grieving. Think about how much shit she went through, she saw her school get destroyed, three people she knew died in front of her in one night, she unlocked some weird magical power which she knows nothing about, her sister seems to hate life now, and her friends are mostly gone. Do you seriously think her mind has the time and effort to grief about ONE person dying? No, nobody would in fact, she probably is still in shock of everything that happened. Another reason, which was actually proven in V5, is that she doesn’t grief, she moves on. And they also foreshadowed it a bit, but I will talk about it in the V5 review of this.

The next thing people complained about was black sun, and how ooc blake felt during those moments. Again, I want to remind you that character development is a thing, and traumatic events may several affect someone’s view in life. The reason why Blake seemed ooc is because of her fears becoming a reality. Her friends got hurt because of Adam, she became paranoid, to the point of almost drawing out her sword to the captain when she was confronted. Sun on the other hand didnt experience all of that, and he thought he was doing the right thing by following her because he wanted to help her. And I saw sooooo many people saw he is a predator because she flinches when he touches her, but also completely forgets or ignore she acted the same way when her own mother hugged her. She is scared shitless of everything, this was probably one of the better handled character development in the volume, and the fandom seemingly ignored all of it to let their hatred go through.

The most blatant problem with V4 however was the animation, and I will let the youtuber Cake in his series “Animation analysis”. He really nails the head of what is wrong with the animation, and I highly recommend you watch this small serie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxP3lBW7wm4&list=PL-wKaeXzYOmbnc0cRXxGD0TEY5wgCUipw

I wont speak about Yang, because honestly, this was the one time the fandom is right, her ptsd arc was poorly handled and not well executed at all.

Then came V5, or as I like to call it, Rooster teeth’s redemption arc. This volume, imo, was so heavily touched upon to appease the angry mobs of the rwde tags its honestly kind of funny. Ship wars? Heres more character development surrounding all the characters involved in those ship and their view about each other. Poor character development? Heres ruby actual griefing and explaining how she moved and sooo much more character for the main cast. LGBT representation? Here's the first confirmed lgbt character! They did so many things right and so many things to fix past problems, and yet, the rwde tag is still greedy…

Volume 5 has done a lot of things right, and a lot of those things were things the fandom was asking since the beginning of the show. I believe it was partially RT testing out that if listening to us would actually change anything, and Im afraid the rwde side of this fandom is proving to them that nothing that they will do will change anything, and thats saying something about the rwde tag and the fandom in general.

Lets hit a few things that happened that rt did right. First being, Ruby’s grief. In V4, most of the fandom outcried for Ruby to show how she grieves the death of Pyrrha and Penny, and we got it. And just like I had thought, she moves on. The writers pulled our heart strings by using Monty’s signature quote “Keep moving forward”. This probably wasn't a last minute decision, since we did get a hint of it when Qrow mentioned the same thing to Yang in V3. And we all know how close Ruby is to Qrow, and he probably taught her to move on rather the grief when death hits someone close to you. The fandom, of course, was blind to all of it, and it dishearten me to see that. Because the fandom keeps asking for better writing, and when the are shown that MK can foreshadow things and give hints of two people’s relationship and that the fandom ignores it, it shows that they dont really care, and are probably finding reasons to hate rather then actually seeing their wishes come true.

Yang’s ptsd. V4 poorly handled this, they showed some sign of her illness but it was rushed and it felt unnatural. But rt did try to change this in V5. The random jerks of her hand and arm is a genius idea, it shows that she still suffers from her trauma even though she is trying to be strong for her own sake. This might be hinting at an actual ptsd episode later on when she fights. This is one thing rt did right and are showing they are listening.

First Lgbt character. Spoiler warning, if you havent watched V5EP8 then skip to the next point to not spoil yourself. So in the latest episode, Ilia was revealed to be first lgbt character, she is a lesbian/Bisexual character who is in love with Blake. And not surprisingly, the fandom find reasons to hate this decision rather than rejoice that rt is actually listening to them. This next part is a message straight for anyone who is criticizing ilia as the “villain lesbian” and say its problematic. Do you understand how hypocrite you are? You headcanon characters like Cinder, Salem, and Neo as lgbt, people who are actually show to be pure evil but hate and try to villainize the only villain who’s reason to be villain is due to her past? We have been shown why she chose this path, we have been shown why she sides with Adam at this moment. It hurts her to do so, we could see it when she ordered to kill Blake’s family, we have seen how conflicted she was to have captured Blake for adam, the only character who’s villainy is actual ambiguous and actually is a complex character because of it and you downgrade her to a “Bitter/Jealous murderous lesbian”? FUCK OUTTA HERE, that is completely hypocritical of everything you ever said, she is everything you ever wanted in a character and you still manage to be angry at rt for it?! Do you even hear yourselves sometimes? You wanna complain about something that is lgbt related? How about the lack of it, we have one, they have shown us they are listening so keep on insisting on that representation. You want to complain how the lack of complex character? Criticize MK for the lack of backstory for a lot of the main character, and a lack of personality shown. You want to complain about villains? HOW ABOUT THE ACTUAL BITTER AND MURDEROUS ONE ADAM FUCKING TAURUS. Stop being so blind jfc, there is so many other obvious things wrong about the points you are complaining about and yet you chose to bash Ilia, fucking incredible.

Rwby has a lot of issue, im not denying that, but its time for the fandom to stop complaining about ships and minor problems that have been fixed. Start critiquing instead of complaining and demanding. RT wont listen to you if you only demand things from them, start showing them explicitly what is wrong with the show and offer them solutions in a calm manner. Showing no evidence and not showing solutions is not critiquing on your part, its pure and simple entitlement. My final point is this. We dont own the show, some of us pay for a subscription, but that doesn't make them any more entitled to demand things from rt about their show. You can absolutely critique them for errors, but do it right. Show them what went wrong, explain why its wrong, and show and explain a possible solution. Complaining and whining isnt critiquing, its entitlement of something we dont own. Im probably missing some things I have thought of pointing out in this, and this is highly opinionated in some parts. But I hope my points do make some sense, and I hope anyone who reads this actual give a thought about the points I made. If you disagree with me, by all means, point out what was wrong with what I said and offer your counter-argument, like I said, some of it is facts and some of it is opinions, so let’s debate.

#rwby #rwby5 #rwde

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daimboy · 7 years

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Im the girl who said if I didn't have my crap together by 21 I'd end it. I'm 18 and just got out of hospital.. I know this message doesn't absolutely nothing. But I dont know what I'm doing. Therapy doesn't work and they won't let me have more than a weeks worth of pills at a time. I've broken my family...

so guess what: i used to be in a really similar boat to yours. i figured id make a list of things that i resonated with in this ask and how i was proven wrong over time cause i think it could help at least give you hope when it feels like theres absolutely none. this is gonna be a long post btw… if you wanna come off anon we can talk more in private about details and stuff

1. setting a deadline for your mental health will basically never work. just due to the nature of how mental health works, the truth is that no one has their shit together by 21, and especially not by 18. i set a deadline for myself like yours (when i was 16 i decided if i didnt feel better by 18 i would end it.) and thankfully i didnt stick to it cause now im 22 and even though i dont have my shit together yet i at least know thats normal. it may suck to hear that but also like so much changes in the way you think between the ages of 18 and 21. you might not have your shit together but itll be easier to take a step back and understand whats going on in your head.

2. i didnt think therapy worked at your age. I was forced into therapy after an attempt and did it till i was 18 and I basically just sat there quietly waiting for it to be over for 2 years. after i stopped therapy at 18 i refused to do it again for 2, almost 3 years because i was convinced it didnt work. turns out it didnt work because i didnt want to be there. i’m back in therapy now after a couple traumatic events that happened in the past 2 years and its like…. so different when youre actually trying. it also depends heavily on the therapist. if you arent connecting with your therapist, youve gotta find a new one. it works, i promise. you just have to relearn what therapy is for. its not meant to fix you, its meant to help you manage your symptoms and organize your thoughts.

3. similarly, if your pills dont work, youve probably gotta change meds. and they will probably only manage symptoms, not actually cure things. it cn be easy to rely heavily on them, especially because when therapy feels like its not working it can feel like theyre the only hope. thats how i felt at least. im sorry youve only been getting a weeks worth at a time. i know youll be able to gain trust back over time and that will change.

4. when i attempted, i thought i broke my family too. it was really hard for a while. i dont know what your family situation was, but my family didnt know i had any problems up until the attempt, which just shook our whole dynamic. in my case, though, eventually it made things change for the better, because it meant we were forced to start acknowledging more than just surface level emotions with eachother and learning how to cope with mental illness as a family. i know all families are different and honestly, it does sometimes get harder before it gets better. theyre gonna be learning as you learn how to manage stuff. but i just want you to remember that even if things feel different, chances are that weird-different is gonna turn into a good different. also, family dynamics change a lot during the late teen early 20s years.

if i totally misinterpreted something just drop a message, also if you wanna talk just drop a message. im always willing to try to help and this particular message really like felt personal to me because i used to hold basically the exact same beliefs and only came around to thinking the way i do about therapy and stuff really recently. its really really easy to fall into unhealthy ways of thinking especially round the treatment of mental illness, cause theres a lot of complicated factors. and brain chemicals are weird and confusing and its really hard. but if nothing else, just remember that i used to be there, too, and things are changing for the better, so i think theyll change for you, too.

#suicide attempt tw #suicide tw #depression tw #medication tw #therapy #family #mental health #anonymous #ask #Anonymous #this message isnt pointless btw #its good to talk through things and get input from lots of different places #reaching out is good and im proud of you #also i wanted to apologise for not properly responding to your last message i didnt really know what to say #im glad you messaged again though #i kept the other one in my inbox cause i was kind of struck by how pretty the writing was #that probably didnt help at all though

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thekidultlife · 7 years

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Mr. & Mrs. Yoon | Spy!Jeonghan

((btw, gif is my work also so yeah))

Part 1 | Part 2

Words: 1473

Genre: Angsty??? (Im not sure)

((Cold War AU, anybody? Hahaha I’m such a sucker for history))

Plaisir d’Amour…

The turntable was turned on early in the morning. Yes…I think that’s the title.

You scuffled through the incomprehensible labyrinth of bed sheets and pillows even though you were still in a blank daze. The mornings had begun to get colder and days were growing shorter as summer transitions to autumn in late August.

Where was I again?

Surveying the room, it finally dawned to you that you were already a married woman. Yet it was not out of love that you got married to a man who wasn’t even there when you wake up. Even so, I still cannot forget that night we first met.

“I’m Yoon Jeonghan, your soon-to-be husband,”

You hugged your knees closer to your body and touched the ring which was held by the necklace on your neck.

“I can do this…”

You can do this, Yoon...Y/N.

You eventually got the strength to remove yourself from the bed and exited the bedroom, robe in tow. The hallway greeted you with the great scent of an American breakfast—bacon, eggs, hot coffee. Despite being raised in China; you had already grown accustomed to the high cholesterol breakfast after several years in the US.

Yawning and rubbing your tired eyes as you lazily crept downstairs, you almost lost your balance among the art nouveau sculptures whilst entering the kitchen. The large circular cherry table which was their dining table was already set and the food was pretty much fresh from the stove.

The Yoon home was not grandiose but, definitely not mundane either. It was a simple traditional two-story American home with a spacious foyer and decorated with various artworks and crafts collected as a hobby by the head curator of the Smithsonian Museum, Yoon Jeonghan. Though it certainly is marvelous to some, but it may actually be an empty home for those living in it.

“Good morning, dear. You have drool on your cheek,” a familiar voice whispered from behind you and you immediately jumped in surprise.

You turned around and saw him all dressed for work—a brown vest with his shirt tucked neatly inside and matching brown pants. His coat was hanging loosely on his arms as he was holding today’s Washington Post. His hair which had gotten longer was still remarkably auburn but his locks fell softly on his forehead and together with all of that was his signature smirk which doesn’t seem to leave him. Yes, he is my husband, Yoon Jeonghan...unfortunately though.

Frowning, you replied to him curtly, “I’d rather not die here in the kitchen doorway, so stop frightening me, please.”

Yet no matter how many times you expressed your disdain towards him, he would simply laugh it off and he did just that as he sat on his place in front of the table.

“You seem to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today,” he remarked, opening the newspaper which was on his hands.

“I did not, for your information. It was because I had to see your face so early in the morning,” you took a sip from the warm cup of coffee but then jerked after it burnt your tongue.

“Be careful, dear. I don’t want my precious wife getting hurt,” Jeonghan was glancing at you from the side of the newspaper with a smug smile, much to your chagrin. He just knew how to push your buttons—you weren’t even sure how he did—yet you knew he was simply doing it just to entertain his rather boring espionage life.

You rolled your eyes at his sarcasm and he simply chuckled. Why did I even agree to this?

“I’m quite the ‘show’, am I not? Teasing me, torturing me…every single day.” In frustration, you finally asked as you angrily feasted upon the bacon and soft-boiled eggs. “If this is your definition of fun, then there is something clearly wrong inside that damn head of yours.”

Jeonghan folded the newspaper neatly after he heard your remark and propped his head with his arm on the table as he grinned. You were totally unaware that he was enjoying how you despised him, loathed him to the bone. Nonetheless, Jeonghan was still convinced that you were capable of forgiving him in the end and that was not what he hoped for.

“Have you ever realized how adorable your reactions are?” His unrelenting gaze was glued to you and it seemed impossible to escape those stares which had the talent of making your heart beat fast. You couldn’t pinpoint if it was because you were intimidated by him or because of the way he was looking at you.

“See? You’re making an adorable expression again,” Jeonghan laughed once more and pinched your left cheek, making you sneer and push his hand away before you could do any harm.

“Adorable, my ass,” you snapped at him, waving your fork with a piece of bacon at the end which eventually landed into your mouth. “You’re definitely psycho.”

Jeonghan simply raised his eyebrows at you in amusement, not offended at all by your harsh remark. He picked up his newspaper once more and continued reading the business section. You thought he would simply let your snide taunt slide, but you were hugely mistaken.

“Oh and so you know, I’m a sociopath. Find a better insult, darling.”

Jeonghan smiled at you but returned to his reading before he could enjoy seeing you puffing up imaginary steam from your nose in fury.

The only reason why this person irritates you so much is due to the fact that everything he does is an act.

The marriage is a front, a disguise, a disgusting lie.

Several months ago, Jeonghan was activated as a courier for the Soviet agents in Washington while you relay the information he collects to the GRU. In order to camouflage the illegal things you both were doing, the GRU arranged that you and Jeonghan must be married—in that way, you can easily give them the already encoded documents. However, unlike the other Soviet spy rings present in the US, the two of you were not fans of the Communist Party and are doing all these for your own reasons.

“Can you get me Shakespeare’s ‘Twelfth Night’ later?” You switched the topic and turned on your business mode. That was your coded exchange that meant Jeonghan must collect the documents from the agents and that Moscow needed to have new information regarding the activities here. The Korean War is still waging till now after all. The USSR surely wants to have the war plans of US and Britain.

“Sure, anything you want,” Jeonghan gave you one of his benevolent smiles again which was obviously fake. He then patted your head and messed your already chaotic bed hair before standing up.

“You’re going now? Will you have dinner here tonight?” You suddenly asked as you stood beside Jeonghan who was putting on his brown coat.

“Oh my, did I just hear my dear wife saying you’ll miss me?” he replied while grinning victoriously. You immediately pursed your lips and harshly tightened his necktie until he choked. You knew it was a bad move to fuel his already overblown ego and someday, you hoped to burst this bubble of his.

“Shut up, Jeonghan. I’m trying to be nice here,” shooting daggers at him with your eyes, his immovable smirk seemed to have grown wider instead.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be home by the usual time,” he walked towards the door yet as he was half-way out of the house, Jeonghan suddenly returned. “Seems like I forgot something.”

By the time he returned, you were already clearing the table of the empty dishes and was surprised to see him back with a concerned look on his face. You thought it must be some urgent matter but when it suddenly dawned to you, you rolled your eyes at him in irritation.

“Damn it, Jeonghan. If this is some joke again, I swear I’ll—”

What took you by surprise was when he suddenly seized your arm and pulled you closer for a kiss. It was simple and chaste yet it still rocked your being back and forth and when he finally let you go, you saw that there was a glint of playfulness in his almond eyes.

“I forgot my goodbye kiss,” Jeonghan murmured while grinning as your eyes were still wide with shock. “Wouldn’t that make us a convincing couple?”

And with that, you finally snapped.

“You…!” Your shoulders trembled in rage as you gave him a hateful glare. “Get your ass out of here already!”

“I will, I will! Well, see you tonight, dear!” he finally left the house while giving a winning snicker and you frowned.

And that ends the usual morning inside the Yoon residence.

Admin Hyeri

#seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan

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