#it makes me feel super inspired!! i wanna be Seen and Offered an Opportunity to Make Something Awesome!!!!!

[cabbagecrunt]

my dear followers. watch me play osu

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 14: DREAM CATCHER - Episode 11: Overseas Training

Izumi: Uhh, this is 7th Avenue so…

Tenma: Over there?

Muku: Oh! You're right!

Misumi: We made it~!

Kumon: That's a large crowd!

Kazunari: Pics will look fire no matter where you take them! Yukki, Kumopi, look over here~!

Yuki: Alright.

Kumon: I luv New York! (1)

[Snap]

Kazunari: C’mon, c’mon, you three as well~!

Izumi: (Even though we just got off a 13 hour flight, they're all so lively. That's the Summer Troupe for you.)

Izumi: (But still, this decision to come to the US sure was sudden…)

[Flashback starts]

Yuki: Training in the US?

Tenma: My Father suddenly messaged me.

Tenma: There'll be a film festival soon, so he asked me if we wanted to go to the US for a study trip. Apparently the office will cover the travel costs.

Muku: Eh? The costs!?

Kazunari: If they're paying for it, Furuuche-san will be OK with it too.

Kumon: I wanna go to the US!

Izumi: But is it really okay for us to accept all that..?

Tenma: I think he also feels bad because he couldn't do anything for us during all those troubles with Amadate.

Tenma: I think it's okay for us to go ahead and accept it.

Tenma: The States’ entertainment industry has more to it than just stage plays and musicals.

Tenma: They’re also one of the leading players in design and fashion, so we’ve definitely got lots to gain.

Tenma: Father told me that if we want to win the Fleur Award, Japan's most renown theater award, we as actors need to experience theater at its core.

Yuki: I am interested.

Muku: The fact that Issei-san is active on a worldwide level makes his words all the more convincing.

Izumi: Then… Let's take him up on his offer.

Tenma: Yeah. I think it'll also be a good opportunity for us to refresh our knowledge.

Misumi: Let's go~ to the US!

Kumon: I can't wait to board a plane!

[Flashback ends]

Izumi: (Although a lot happened with Issei-san during the Summer Troupe's debut…)

Izumi: (Right now, he's earnestly supporting Tenma-kun on his road as a stage actor. I'm really grateful.)

Izumi: (Our stay here will be short, but I hope they get inspired and learn a lot of things.)

Muku: If you move a little to the left, the building will be in the picture.

Kazunari: You come too, Director-chan!

Misumi: Let's take a picture together~!

Izumi: Ah, okay!

[Snap]

Kumon: There's so many people~

Yuki: This is a tourist spot, so everyone's taking pictures.

Tenma: It's probably extra crowded cause the film festival is coming up.

Kazunari: I'm so hyped~ There's no way we'd be here if we weren't invited.

Kumon: I wonder if we'll get to meet any world-famous celebs~

Tenma: But first, we have to go to see the show.

Muku: Oh, we should start heading for the theater.

Izumi: The theater is– ah, this way.

-

Kumon: That was so cool~! I feel so woozy, it's like I'm still watching the play!

Tenma: I've never seen a production like this before, and the actors’ performances blew me away.

Tenma: It really reminded me of the infinite possibilities theater holds.

Kazunari: The lighting and the sound were so cool too. Everything was full of power and I could feel the passion! It was like a treasure trove of ideas! 

Misumi: It was so fun~ I couldn't tear my eyes away, I was so excited and my heart was beating super fast!

Kumon: Yeah, yeah. It was like I was on a rollercoaster and felt every emotion at once…

Kumon: I couldn't understand the language, but I felt so many emotions~

Muku: The actors also varied from each other. Not only in their ages, but also in the way they acted…

Muku: It seemed like all of them were taking full advantage of their strengths.

Yuki: The costumes were also great. This is what stage costumes should be like.

Yuki: This really is the real thing. You can tell that all these professionals are competing in order to improve and create something new.

Izumi: (They're all inspired in their own way. I guess there are things you will only understand once you see them up close.)

Izumi: (It's only the first day, but I'm glad we came…)

Muku: It's all in English, but I got a pamphlet.

Kumon: Me too! I can't read it at all though~

Muku: Let's read it bit by bit with a dictionary when we get back to Japan.

Kumon: Yeah! Looking at the credits, there's some people with Japanese-looking names. Like the costumes person, Aiko Kataoka– (2)

Yuki: Ah–

Muku: Do you know them, Yuki-kun?

Yuki: Yeah. She's famous.

Kumon: That so~

Yuki: I see, this person is…

previous episode | masterpost | next episode

NOTES:

(1) he says this in english with katakana. figured the luv would be a cute addition

(2) aiko kataoka's name is written in english. i italicized it to make that a bit more clear

[gourde]

Hello! I am answering your call for Sonamy asks! :)

I have multiple long-form posts about their relationship (and specifically Sonic's stake in the matter), which I would link to if this wasn't an ask, but I encourage you to read those if you're up for it!

To give you a brief summary though (I promise this is considered "brief" lol), Sonamy works because Sonic and Amy have a few fundamental aspects going for them:

They each offer the other something that completes them: Sonic gives Amy encouragement and inspiration to use her skills for good (emotion, love, and physical prowess), as well as opportunities to actually use her skills with his adventures (and her own). Conversely, Amy gives Sonic a safe place to land and to engage with his emotions, something he struggles immensely with (I'm working on a piece about this, actually). In short, Amy unlocks a lot of Sonic's emotions and helps him feel and navigate them. No other character makes Sonic react with such a wide range of emotions, and no other character allows Sonic to be fully and completely himself--with and without the hero mask.

The relationship (and its romantic qualities) is extremely subtle in nature, which adds to its appeal and sense of depth: I can only truly get behind ships when they go beyond just potential--I need to see it supported by canon, and Sonamy is in the best ways. Sonic and Amy understand each other on such an intricate level that they don't often need to use words to communicate. There's an air of connection that floats between them that, combined with their history, shows exactly what they're thinking--they never state the obvious because they don't need to, which makes the moments where they do state the obvious a lot more impactful. Words aren't wasted between them. Their relationship is described by canon sources (like Sonic Channel, for instance) as nuanced, complicated, and multi-faceted--what looks from the outside as something confusing or otherwise questionable is bathed in layers of meaning for the hedgehogs. Their love is visible (especially from Amy), but the depths of it are private, intimate, and expansive--and that makes it so special.

They have a lot in common, which makes their lifestyles compatible long-term, but they're also not afraid of each other: they both hate boredom and actively seek out adventure (alone and together), they're highly emotionally charged and passionate (positive and negative emotions), and have strong desires for justice and good in the world. At the same time, though, they're not blinded by their affections--Sonic stands up to Amy when he needs to (most recently in Frontiers), and Amy definitely stands up to Sonic when she needs to. In fact, going back to unlocking emotions, Amy is by far the character with the most success in cutting through Sonic's stubbornness and getting him to reconsider something. This willingness to communicate on both fronts is extremely healthy and good for both of them.

Feel free to ask questions! I know I don't provide too many specific examples but I didn't wanna write you a novel! I'll tag my specific relevant posts if you'd like, as well! I hope this helps :)

I see all your points! I just really dislike the whole "Romantic relationship completes the characters!!!" Since I am aroace with no romantic drive. At all. I know I'm not really missing anything in life but kind of seeing that everywhere bothers me... plus I just REALLY like Sonic on his own. Sonic can communicate without words with other characters too, like Tails and Knuckles. THEY'RE ALL FRIENDS!! BUDDIES!!! That super homosexual flaming moment in Frontiers with Knuckles when they were making faces at each other? No words exchanged they just knew. I am a HUGE advocate for being FRIENDS!!!! Friendship rules!!! Not everything has to be romantic.

There's also the thing of I really love Amy and Sonic as characters but it gets very bothersome when Amy's character in fandom stuff is only seen through how she impacts Sonic. She is her own character!! About spreading love!!! FRIENDS!!!! AHOWHAOHGUH

[nyssasorbit]

Psssssttttt what happened that pushed you over the edge, i wanna know so badly

I'm assuming this is about my tag ramble recently.

I don't want to get too much into it, since I don't want to stir up any drama, but I'll kinda detail here what I won't detail in a post I'll probably make later.

Ever since the whole BA drama recently, I feel really...idk what's the right word for it. Disappointed? Disgusted? Embarrassed? Because of the fandom. I don't think the creator alluding to the fact that he's been assaulted in the past should be something taken lightly, and I really hate how the majority of the fandom completely ignored it.

There's a lot of things I don't agree with regarding Er/ik's writing, and, hell, I change shit all the time in my fics, but he's still a person that really doesn't deserve to have gone through something like that. Looking over comments praising him as a creator rather than connecting with him as a person just...really really struck me the wrong way. Yeah, of course people can praise him as a creator, and given that it was relevant to the content, they should add whatever comments they want regarding that! But considering he added something very personal to the conversation...for everyone to overlook it just...makes me wonder if they were even paying attention to what he wrote, or if they just jumped on the opportunity to write a comment for brownie points.

Maybe I'm just biased or something, but I've been through something similar in my own past that I'm still working through, and to see most everyone refuse to offer a little sympathy or just something kind of hurt. Everyone always talks about how much they care about Er/ik, but this instance kind of proves to me that they don't. They treated him like a content machine and only care for the products he dishes out. "Reda/cted" is who everyone loves, not "Er/ik".

And again, I don't necessarily agree with everything Er/ik says or does. I definitely don't agree with his reasons for putting out that BA for several reasons either. But this is just...this situation is just different imo.

This isn't the first time the fandom's gotten on my nerves, and in fact, several months ago I had to take a hiatus to get away from those people. But now, I just can't look at everyone the same way. I can't think about engaging with the content without feeling gross. The fandom's given me these sorts of negative vibes for a long time now, but this is just a new collective low for us. It's made me want to be as far away from this fandom and the content as possible. I want absolutely nothing to do with it.

I know this is long and rambly, and I'm really sorry. I keep wondering if I'm seeing something that isn't there, which is why I want to try to wait until the end of the year to formally leave, in case I realize that or the content itself gives me inspiration again. But right now, I have zero inspiration to keep up my fics, and I barely have enough to try to finish the last bits and edit the finale to the letter series. With Er/ik maybe being MIA for a while and the only [planned] vids being ones I'm kinda not super interested in coming up, this is a good time to leave. I'm not sure if it'll be permanent, and I may come back soonish for the canon content and/or to finish my fics so they don't live in a void forever, but I just want to forget about it all for a while.

I don't intend for this to be seen by others, but for anyone who stumbles across this (and you too anon, ofc), feel free to let me know if I'm seeing something that isn't there, or completely missing something else, because I'd love to be proven wrong about the situation. I've thought over a hundred times why being near the fandom lately makes me feel awful, and this is the best way I can articulate my feelings I think. I'm still really conflicted on it though (as you may have noticed, lol), so feel free to add to the discussion.

Sorry again for the long post, but thank you if you read all the way through!

[mettywiththenotes]

320 bits I wanna talk about

Iieda looks like he’s doing the *inhale* before the BOI IF YOU DON’T- meme. Something along the lines of “BOI IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR ASS BACK TO UA-” kind of thing lol.

He holding something in definitely. Maybe charging up for an attack? Idk but he sure seems concentrated

Actually, Iieda seems kinda considering. Maybe he’s weighing up if he should join in the fight, as if he’s asking “Will I have to fight Midoriya, if it comes down to it? Or can the others handle this?” Something tells me he doesn’t want to have to weigh in on the fight. Maybe tear into Izuku verbally, but fight? No I don’t think he wants to do that

But also, I find it interesting that that black panel of text is under him and then it cuts to Bakugou yelling at Izuku. I mean, it could very well be Bakugou thinking that, but if that’s so, then why is Iieda the first person we see?

So, I think it’s Iieda thinking that. Tensions are rising, it seems. I’m expecting his turn to be full of a lot of emotion, or at least trying to get across to Izuku that he feels betrayed but mostly just wants Izuku to come back home.

I don’t really know what’ll happen with Iieda exactly, but I’m totally interested to see what happens

I know Bakugou has problems with his emotions and words and stuff, but I also think here he’s trying to anger Izuku in order to get him to fight back, maybe so he’s more angry than flexible in a fight, so the end result would be Izuku getting too angry to predict anything and eventually tripping up, and that’s when 1A could capture him.

The one thing to remember about Izuku is that allowing him to think is going to be the opponent’s downfall. We saw in the Kacchan VS Deku 2 fight that Bakugou knew this and so kept attacking as much as possible so Izuku wouldn’t have time to think. Which worked, because Izuku is great at analysis, so making his “Win” attitude [getting competitive therefore putting more energy into attacking than strategy] come out over his “Save” attitude [you’re my friend and I want to help you] is kind of a weakness of his. That’s kind of one of the reasons he lost that fight.

Then again, maybe Izuku has improved since then? I don’t really know but I think enough time has passed for him to have maybe improved more on that so idk we’ll see

I really love Bakugou’s expression in that bottom screencap lol

His wound!! All bandaged up!! I wonder if there’s a scar there or smthg :O

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I know Enji or Bakugou probably gave them details about the multiple quirks but I still find it wild that everyone just knows now

KOUDA! MY SWEETHEART! I’m glad he’s getting a part in this too, along with Sero. Two of them who didn’t really hang around Izuku but still want him to come back :’)

Sero and Black Whip! Finally! I mean it’s not much but it’s still better than nothing

Also, seems like Sero is trying to taunt Izuku to get him to attack him maybe [same as Bakugou feeding into Izuku’s competitive side] soooo idk Sero following Bakugou’s lead? Maybe :)

Look at how,,,, innocent Izuku looks,,,,, *head in hands* AND SERO TEACHING HIM!!

I knew this lil moment would come bite me in the ass at some point, I knew and yet I’m still tearing up goddamn

That “I thought she was going to tell me its a useless hobby” bit really drives home how Izuku’s friends are 1A, that he loves them and they were the only friends he’s ever had [except Bakugou but he was a bully at the time so I’m not really gonna count him for back then]. HOW many people before UA had gone around and told Izuku his taking notes hobby was useless? SHOW me the people!

I, mettywiththenotes, will NOT allow anybody to slander one of my own!

I know it’s like the only moment Izuku and Ojiro shared, with the sports festival thing, but it’s still really sweet that Ojiro sees that Izuku stood up for him

*head in hands*

Shouldn’t this kid be more worried that he’s likely going to get kidnapped?

“Yeah this super evil villain guy has decided he wants to kidnap me and take me away, but like nbd guys really, that’s why I left in the first place! So I wouldn’t be a burden!” Somebody get this kid a fucking therapist or some shit

This is kind of a chilling and pretty scene though. The rain falling above Izuku and him looking down with these piercing green eyes likely being the only light between them. Good stuff.

Satou! Aha I like how he’s pulling all the stops, such as “I WON’T LET YOU BORROW MY INGREDIENTS FOR ERI!”

Also let’s appreciate that Satou caught Ojiro and Jirou and managed to land on a freaking traffic light. The balance on this kid! Very well done

Kaminari putting Izuku in a headlock! How cute :)

Be cuter if they weren’t trying to subdue a martyr-complex cryptid from killing himself, but still

Does Shouji have some kind of support-item?? Or could he always do the stretchy thing?? Or I guess maybe he’s just stretching his arms out like branches [like he usually does] and using them as more like a capture weapon rather than his usual stuff. I don’t think we’ve ever seen him use his heteromorph body and quirk for anything other than the 5 senses, though I could be wrong

Also Shouji remembering what Izuku said at the training camp, I’m so glad! Shouji always seems like the kind to be so protective over his friends, so I’m glad he remembered that. Then again, Izuku did compare them to freaking ALL MIGHT, but if the nice analytical kid in your class who knows your limits and strengths says you could basically beat A GOD, then that’s definitely one for the memory scrapbook lmao

“It’s nice and dark here, Dark Shadow.” Who said that?? Kami or Izuku?? I just have this mental image of Izuku being shrouded in darkness and trying to keep his eyes open from falling asleep haha

Tokoyami remembering that from all the way back then!! It makes me think that not only have Bakugou and Izuku been watching each other, but that Izuku has always had everybody’s eyes on him! Which is true, he’s inspired everyone! It goes both ways; Izuku loving his friends, and them loving him back :’)

Kami telling him to take a bath lmao I love it. Finally somebody said it

*ugly sobbing noises*

This kind of segment, with a mask falling, a space in-between and a reveal, reminds me of Compress’ reveal :) In that, the person is hiding their identity and then when the mask comes off, they reveal who they truly are underneath

While Izuku is of course determined to go after AFO and is quite the fearsome powerhouse, I really think when he takes off that mask, he’s showing who he really is underneath - a scared little boy who just wants everyone to be happy

JESUS, SHOUTO REALLY IMPROVED HIS QUIRK HUH!! LOOK AT IT, IT’S EVEN HIGHER THAN THE SKYSCRAPERS!!

“The burden placed on you... it doesn’t allow for tears, right?” He sounds so sassy here.

Kind of like saying “Oh you look upset. But that’s weird, I thought Heroes weren’t supposed to cry.” Lol it really shows here how pissed Shouto is at Izuku

But then he relents from that snark and is like “Hey, come on, we’ll share this burden. I’m not letting you go it alone, remember that we’re all here.” :’)

I love when Shouto is sassy and passive aggressive but I also love it when he shows that soft side of him

Okay, this is something I really love.

Tsuyu didn’t join the Bakugou Rescue Squad because “they would be just like Villains breaking the rules”

But here she is, learning from that regret of hers and coming right back to make sure Izuku isn’t the one struggling. She wants to be a part of this rescue squad and pick up where she left off :)

Tsuyu has always struggled with her regrets. It was shown after Kamino when she cried, but for me, I only realised this fully during the Joint Arc when she had her regrets about not making better decisions and not being quick enough [I think that was it].

“I won’t cry in such a flurry” reminds me of “I want to live a life without regret” and so that’s what she’s saying here. This won’t be another regret of hers. She wants to do her best to save her friend

“When scared, you’re allowed to tremble when it’s tough, you’re allowed to shed tears. That’s how you become a Hero like in the comics.”

I feel like that quote piggybacks off of Shouto’s “Heroes cry too”, in that, this is now 1A comforting Izuku. This is them fully coming up to him and telling him that they can help, and that he’s allowed to feel sad about his situation. Shouto’s quote was the teaser, while this entire chapter [and the rest that come to follow] is the main course.

And this is exactly who Tsuyu is. Reassuring, comforting, someone dependable. It says a lot that she’s come from not going to help in Kamino, confessing her feelings and crying about it, then coming back in a similar situation and offering her help - that she’s not willing to just let an opportunity go to better herself. I think I remember reading a few posts on her crying after Kamino and saying it was “performative” or that she just “wanted attention” or smthg like that, but I think she’s really just quite an honest person, and here she is making a great show of how she won’t let something like her guilt slow her down from being the hero she wants to be.

[A part of me feels like this is also a little more evidence with the whole People Not Caring About Bakugou’s Feelings Of Helplessness but like. I digress. It kinda counts but at the same time, it’s not what is going on at the moment.]

Seeing everyone try to reassure Izuku was lovely, and I can’t wait for the rest. I’ve seen a lot of people waiting more for Bakugou’s portion of the battle [AND YEAH DUDE ME TOO] but I really feel like Bakugou’s won’t come until like 2 chapters later or something.

Cause, if this chapter is anything to go by, we’ll probably get through Mina, Mineta, Kirishima, Hagakure and Aoyama next chapter, and then we’ll move onto the “more important” conflicts which will be Iieda and Uraraka, and if their segments are chocked with tension drama and tears, then Bakugou will have a whole chapter to himself hopefully.

Which means we’ll probably have to wait 2 more chapters until we get that sweet, sweet Bakugou chapter :( I hope I’m wrong and it comes sooner than predicted but whatever

I know for some people, that’s all they want, but personally I love these little bits that reflect on the background characters. As someone who isn’t really obsessed with the background characters but also likes them enough to appreciate their development/the little moments they have, I gotta say I really liked this :)

[katsukisbimbo]

DDAENG

✯ pairing: hawks x reader

✯ genre: FLUFFYYDS!!

✯ summary: fan! hawks meeting his newly debuted idol crush y/n at a fansign!

✯wordcount: 2.1k+

✯warning: just swearing and hawks being thirsty <3

✯ note: this literallt came to me because i was trying to turn @hoodtoshi into a bts stan (lowkey succeeded) and i was jus like yea, thirsty hawks

-ˏ͛⑅　‧̥̥͙‧̥̥ ̥ ̮ ̥ ⊹ ‧̫‧ ⊹ ̥ ̮ ̥ ‧̥̥‧̥̥͙　⑅ˏ͛--ˏ͛⑅　‧̥̥͙‧̥̥ ̥ ̮ ̥ ⊹ ‧̫‧ ⊹ ̥ ̮ ̥ ‧̥̥‧̥̥͙　⑅ˏ͛--ˏ͛⑅　‧̥̥͙‧̥̥

- you were nervous

- this was your first fan meet after all,, but you were still nervous

- you were only 19 and had already debuted!!

- that didn’t happen to just anyone!!

- you worked super hard to get to where you are today!! everyone knew that!!

- you sighed as your make-up artist continued to paint your lips a dark red colour

- you honestly didn’t look like yourself, but this was to keep up the whole idol image i guess

- “jinhee, how many people are outside? i’m sure only two people came to see me..” you pouted, resulting in your make-up artist to smack your cheek lightly

- “dOn’t say that you dummy! i’m sure a lot of people came to see you!” she scolded, wiping off the excess makeup on a towel

- “now get out, you’re done”

- “i don’t wanna”

- she raised a newspaper and flexed, ready to beat the fuck out of you if she heard another whisper of self-deprecation from you

- “fine! i’m going!” you grumbled, pouting at oncoming soreness of your feet from your heels

- why did idols have to wear heels anyway?

- okay no, you knew why, but sTill!! they sucked!

- you smiled as you saw the buffet table

- one little snack wouldn’t hurt

- >:)

- “keigo stop fuckign puSHING”

- “im so EXCITED!! i’m meeting THE y/n you SLUTBAG!!” keigo yelled as he shook his companion

- dabi sometimes questioned why he was still friends with keigo

- “i SEE that you asshole”

- keigo took this opportunity to punch dabi in the arm, causing dabi to retaliate, causing kEigo to retaliate, causing dAb-

- okay so

- “i’ve been in love with her ever since she debuted!! and she debuted ALONE!! a whole solo artist!! the talent!! the beauty!! i’m in love!!”

- dabi raised a brow at his friend

- “didn’t you tweet about wanting to ‘put a baby inside of her’?”

- keigo felt his cheeks heat up at the possibility of you seeing his indecent tweets about you

- what if you had seen? what if you think he’s a creep? what if you already hated him??

- keigo felt his anxiety creep onto his shoulders as he continued to overthink, not realizing that they were already next to go in

- ruh roh raggy

- keigo didn’t know anything BUT anxiety

- rip keigo we’ll miss you big daddy :,(

- “please come in, please don’t shout”

- whO was shouting?? nobody was shouting

- keigo wasn’t gonna shout

- as keigo was about to shout, he felt himself be silenced by his partner

- all keigo could feel was betrayal

- “calm down you hot dog, you’re going to TALK to her in person jfc. you can tell her how much you want to father her children then”

- it was almost time and you were STILL at the food table

- you saw a small intern approach you with an uneasy look on her face

- she was for sure about to reprimand you

- “m-ms. y/n,, we have to go now!” she stuttered

- she was sO! cute you just couldn’t say no

- so you decided to just sneak a few bags of chips under your skirt before smiling and quickly following her

- you made your way to the stage, peeking behind the curtains

- you saw a huge crowd of people, mostly males, but one man who sat near the front caught your eye

- he had bright yellow eyes with matching blond hair, even wearing some eyeliner

- the unknown male looked absolutely delectable

- he made you bark a little tbh

- you took a deep breath before you were pushed by your manager on the stage, cheers suddenly reaching your ears as your fans confessed their love for you

- quit shamelessly might you add

- you blushed as you watched the cute blond-haired man cup his hands around his mouth and yell—

- “I LOVE YOU Y/N! IM YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!” he yelled, gaining the attention of everyone in the room

- soon everyone started to yell that they were your biggest fan and that the blond man could never even compare

- but the man had nothing but a satisfied smirk plastered on his handsome face

- did he enjoy starting riots?

- you sat on the chair, placing your hands on top of the table

- this was a small table ngl

- luckily there was a sheet on the table, hiding your nervously bouncing legs

- just imagine watching a fancam of you bouncing your leg

- people would still thirst for that

- anyway

- “thank you guys for coming! i’m so excited to meet you all!” you started, smiling at the large number of people

- “you guys can ask me questions or some things? i don’t know?” you laughed, feeling slightly awkward

- you didn’t know how to be a person

- “can you do a dance for us!!” a young boy, about the age of 7 yelled, jumping up and down in front of his seat

- “what dance?” you queried, raising your brow in curiosity

- “move by taemin!!” he cheered, immediately dancing

- you laughed at his adorable actions

- you were totally gonna dance for him!

- you got up as the music started to play in the background, moving to the side of the table and sensually moving to the beat while the audience watched intently

- you carefully moved your hips, hitting all the right beats

- this wasn’t any different than dancing in front of the camera people, plus you had to get used to an audience

- it also wasn’t any different from how you had to dance to kpop songs from when you were younger for your family!!

- (no, literally. the amount of times i had to dance to 2NE1’s i am the best, girls generation’s gee, and wonder girls’ nobody. the dances are engraved in my head. 6 year old giri had to dance or else)

- as the song faded out, you held your pose before bowing, smiling at the little boy who continued to hype you up

- “holy fuck.. dabi that was hot” hawks whispered, tightening his grip around his friends sleeve

- “jeez kei, ease up a bit” dabi complained, prying his friends hand off of him

- “oh my god she’s such a great dancer, do you think she’ll like me if i learn how to dance too?” he questioned, grabbing his friend by the front of his shirt, pissing dabi off once more

- “no. not if you don’t stop being a fuckinf weirdo”

- hawks pouted

- dabi grinned

- how cruel

- “does anyone else have a request?”

- “WAP!!” a number of people yelled, resulting in your face heating up

- how would they suggest such a lewd dance!

- especially when there were children here!

- “haha! that doesn’t seem very appropriate!” you laughed it off, trying your best to mask your uncomfortableness

- hopefully this would end soon

- “no! can you dance to gashina please!” a girl yelled, catching your attention

- hm, gashina was actually a very good suggestion

- you could do this! you could be as great as sunmi!

- okay maybe no. sunmi was a god <3

- you did the routine, catching the eyes and the hearts of the audience

- “fuck i think i’m in love dabi” hawks whined, clutching his chest

- he had a lovesick expression plastered on his face

- he was totally whipped for you, no doubt about it

- before you knew it, it was time for the fans to have a minute to speak to you and for them to get their albums signed!

- you had recently debuted with your album, dawn in tokyo

- you had taken inspiration from the time where you had left your hotel at dawn and walked around the streets of tokyo, sitting near a bridge and writing lyrics for some of the songs in the album

- hence the name of the album

- most of your album was written in japan

- hawks felt himself get more excited as he came closer to you, holding tightly to the fabric of his friends jacket, which wouldn’t surely gotten him slapped if you weren’t so near

- before he knew it, he was already next in line, dabi already sitting in front of your figure while holding your soft, delicate looking hand in his large ugly ones

- this made hawks’ chest bubble with jealousy

- >:(

- sure, you had a large fan base, but it still hurt to see people touch you the way he wanted to

- it was now his turn, he walked up the stairs with his wobbly knees, wanting to just sit and be near you

- he knew that you would be able to calm his nerves, or make him spontaneously combust

- “hey! i’m y/n! nice to meet you!” you smiled, out-stretching your hand to him, offering to place your hand in his own

- he swiftly, but gently grasped your hand, before placing it on his cheek, letting you hold the soft chub of his cheek

- no fan had been this brave to do this. it was quite surprising to be honest

- he wasn’t breaking any rules so you decided to fuck it and go with it

- you placed both your hands on his cheeks, slightly squishing them together, causing him to adorably pout

- “dash not nishe” he mumbled, brows furrowing

- you laughed before letting go of his face, bringing your hands back to your side of the table

- “you’re so cute! can i sign your album for you?” you smiled, tilting your head to the side

- hawks just..dieded

- mans said peace out

- your beauty was incomprehensible

- phew, he had to get his shit together! he was trying to impress u! he wanted to be the mc in a wattpad story

- we all wanna be y/n

- anywayss

- “sure dove! u can make it out to keigo, u can put your number in it too ;)” he winked

- KDNDHSK

- DID HE—

- DID HE JUST ASK FOR YOUR NUMBER

- LIKE—

- nobody:

- y/n: i’m not gon do it girl.. i’m just thinking about it

- “ah! sorry cutie! i’m not allowed to share my number :333”

- you tried to laugh as you died inside

- he smiled, before placing a kiss on your fingertips

- “don’t worry dove,i respect that” he winked

- BARK BARK

- “i have some gifts for you!” he announced, placing the huge paper bag on top of the table

- he first pulled out your favourite snack before handing it to you

- how did he get these??

- omg

- then, he brought out a bottle of perfume, and a new song writing notebook!

- this was great!!

- “oh my gosh! keigo! you’re too sweet” you cooed,

- this was a lot

- “i also have something else.. would you wear this flower crown for me and do some fan-service?” he queried

- of course you would!

- you nodded before placing the flower crown on top of your head

- “what do you want me to say?”

- “say.. i’ll be a good dove for hawks. is that okay?” he smirked, tracing small circles into the palm of your hands

- w-wHAT

- was this legal

- your managers were literally ignoring you—

- “o-oh! sure! uhm-“

- god you were going to regret this

- “i-i’ll be a good dove for hawks!” you whimpered, showing off your practiced aegyo

- “ahhh! my heart!” he gasped, dramatically clutching his chest

- “excuse me, we need the next fan to come up” you manager tapped the both of your arms

- you nodded before smiling at hawks and waving goodbye

- you were going to miss him :((

- ig it just wasn’t meant to be

- the night you had gotten home, you decided to go through your gifts

- you were particularly interested in the gift you had gotten from the blond man

- it was really sweet of him to get you a notebook

- the moment you had opened it, you had noticed that something was written on the first page

- ‘xxx-xxx-xxxx call me pretty girl <3’

- he was a bold onealright

- you were contemplating on actually calling him

- he could leak your number!

- well, you could just wait for him to speak

- fuck it

- you dialed the number on your phone and waited as it rang

- “hello?”

- “i-is this keigo?”

- “hey dove, i’m glad you called”

- y/n: i did it :33

[yukikorogashi]

   Howdy @emptyvictory! This is a long overdue shoutout to you (That probably won’t allow me to cover everything I want to say, but I will try as always LOL), old sport. I took one look at that url meme and was like “FRIG IT, I wanna do a little more than that for them!” and so here we are. I’m super sorry for the longer wait, but also thank you for your patience and ofc... for giving me the opportunity to even write this out. c: 

   So yes, let’s get started already!

   To begin, let’s talk about you as a writer. For all the talent that you possess, one of the things that I love the most about you is your humility, Rory. You are honestly one of the most amazing writing partners that I could ever be blessed to meet, and it’s clear how much heart you put into every written piece that you do. You always bless your writing partners, alway make them feel so appreciated by all that you offer from you end of things, especially when it comes to all those fabulous relationships , yessire. And so it hurts my heart when I do see you beat yourself up every now and then, when you go through those days especially (As much as I do understand). But I can’t tell you enough how quickly I will sit up and glue my eyes onto my phone or laptop screen with wide eyes-- the moment I see something new from you. The number of times I yell and squeal when you answer something from me, like oh my gooooosh!!!

   You just have such a gift when it comes to writing and developing already these complex and multifaceted characters. Skilfully adding your own-- shall we say-- spices? And giving them even more flavour than they already happen have. This especially can be seen through your Arthur Morgan, John Seed and Niko Bellic. Though honestly, the said can be said for so many of your muses (Including the ones that unfortunately spent a shorter time on here than others did). I always wish I could write out so well thought out headcanons like you do, but just catch me here quietly admiring it all from my side as always. 

   And honestly, you are the reason I have come to appreciate so many characters that I never thought I ever would, which is another thing that I ABSOLUTELY love when it comes to writing with an amazing RP pardner like yourself. I can’t count the number of times I would go “*Insert Character Rory Has RPed* is one of my faves.” Like catch me here forever holding up a Sigurd flag now and waving it in the air, thanks to you, eheheh. Seriously, I will never be of any help to you if you even come to me about new muses, other than support you 100%, of course. I will simply be here telling you to do it already, and ask when I can interact with that character. Because I just know you will KILL IT as that character, no matter who they are. For you can play any character your heart desires, Rory. And any character is blessed when they are taken under your wing for development.   

   Honestly, knowing such a talented individual like yourself has always made me wonder what I even did to deserve you at times, you know? At times it makes me fear that I’m not contributing enough from my side as a writing partner... but on the other hand, I also just get so inspired and get all the more determined by you. So that we may create even more amazing relationships together with our muses! You truly have blessed me as a writing partner, and have given my snow child especially some of the most amazing relationships she could ever dare to dream of. Again, Arthur is honestly the only one that had officially adopted her after all these years. The only one that actually bothered to do the darn paperwork, LOL! And that’s something that means so much to me awuehauw!!! You know I love them, and honestly I hadn’t expected to get where we are, when you had first decided to write him. So here you are, once again catching me off guard and blessing me yet again with such an amazing father and daughter relationship, that has so much thought put into over these past years. 😭

   And despite your worries, I can’t tell you enough how much I love Itsuki and Niko’s relationship. Again, he doesn’t need to be overly affectionate (Which would just be weird, if not creepy, honestly) towards her to show that he cares for her? This man’s actions have already spoken so much louder than words ever could especially. After all, he has always bothered humoring her despite the silly, almost pointless conversations that she gets him into. And the fact that he had even bothered to get her a birthday present, those darn sunglasses and of course-- try his best to help her during that one terrifying moment just make me go... AAAAAAAAAAAA. (I know that just sounds like that one giant yelling fish in the Spongebob olympics episode but please imagine it with more emotion and torment auwehawu)

   Honestly, if I lived next door to you, I would be passing by your window like Ned Flanders each and every day going “Hidely ho neighborino, I’m so gosh darn proudi-diddely of ya!” You go through so so much, and have also overcome so, so much. You are in fact one of the strongest individuals I have ever known, Rory. And we all see that, pal, don’t even think any of it goes unnoticed by us. Because we are always over here cheering you on from our end. There is just so much placed upon your shoulders, so much that I see you just taking a deep breath and braving through, each and every time. And lord that takes so, so much strength that will forever amaze me, when it comes to you. I know I can’t say it everyday even though I want to, but know that I am always so proud of you and believe so damn much in you. And that all your hard work is slowly but surely paying off.

    You deserve to feel safe, happy and at peace, and I look forward to that day where you will finally get there.

   If there’s anyone that can do it, it’s frigging Rory!

   Always sending lots of love your way, pal. I will always be honoured to call you one of my bestest friends, and am forever grateful to know you, okay?

[fmdtaeyongarchive]

q3 2021 update & plot call !!

below the cut, you can find an update on ash’s current life, career (or rather absence of), and development for quarter three, as well as plot and thread ideas! if you see anything that you’d like to plot out or write with him, like this or message me, and we can get to it! i have a lot in mind about where ash is right now, so i might add more and expand later on!

mentions of ash’s continuing struggle with mental illness under the cut in case you don’t wanna read that rn

professionally

ash is on hiatus the whole quarter so... not much going on here.

uhh basically the first two days of july he was still trying to get bc to let him take a break so schedule threads could be set then if they cross paths at the bc building! he’s going to be participating in concert rehearsals for knight to a less intense extent since bc, as of the beginning of his hiatus, fully intends him to participate in the concerts. he’ll miss about the first half of the tour, but in july and august he’ll still be attending knight tour rehearsals some to keep up. schedule threads can also be done then!

(note that he’ll be missing the bc city concert as well — i don’t see him dropping by just to support either tbh, sorry bc ppl. white knight duo ver tho let’s gooooooooooo)

ash will eventually start writing music and finding his love of that again though and that’s pretty much the most work he can do during his hiatus, so it’d be cool to maybe have him write, compose, or produce for a few people that might be releasing later this year or sometime next year if anyone is interested? :) we can see if ash would work for it. there’s also opening for him to ask a few people he’s close to to sing some demos for him when he starts trying to write again!

personally + plot ideas!

explaining how he got to his hiatus would take me all day but he basically forced bc’s hand in letting him take time off (well, he wanted to leave knight and retire ngl but his manager was like... you know that’s not going to happen let’s try a hiatus <3). you can read my badly-written solos for part of it (i still need to write more) but generally, the most other muses might know is that they might have run into him acting kinda moody/down or impulsive/irresponsible lately, he made a very uncharacteristic post on social media that hinted at being unhappy with his life currently and losing passion/excitement for even the things he used to value most highly before his social media was deactivated by bc lmaaooo. the post would have probably conveyed Something was up it it wasn’t like genuinely super triggering-level content i promise !! bc released a statement shortly after stating he’d be going on hiatus without mentioning a definitive end date.

so there’s the possibility a muse might have checked up on him after that post / the hiatus news to see how he was doing?

tbh ash isn’t going to be seeking out meeting new people during his hiatus. he’s taking time to himself and is only going to make any effort to hang out with people he’s comfortable with. those he’s not close to, he’s going to have to interact with by running into unintentionally.

he’s getting a place in jeju in the early-ish part of his hiatus. he’ll be spending a lot of time there at first because he just wants to get away from seoul, so it’d be nice to set some threads there if your muse has the time to hop over to visit him if they have anything resembling a free day. (again a certain level of closeness would be necessary, but i think one good heart to heart conversation beforehand could bring someone closer to him enough for that rn! even over text tbh lmao). chuseok would be a really good time for this !! i imagine catching up over lowkey dinners or heart to hearts under the stars, that found family ash has actively fought having lol

(that place in jeju is also going to be where he starts to want to write music again too, so music based stuff there would be chill?)

heart to hearts in general anywhere would be really good for ash right now so please give me those! they can be in seoul too for sure.

he’ll be moving into a new apartment in seoul eventually, though that will probably be a little later in his hiatus? he had some bad fan/sasaeng run-ins right before his hiatus and having so much time off makes him realize he wants to move. someone can help him house hunt or if someone else is looking for a place, they can talk together about it. i want him to realize he wants to move into a smaller place that can feel more like home

once he does move, muses are free to come over and help him set up / be his one-man housewarming party. that’s a little down the line tho !! so we might not want to plot that as a thread to write right this instant

he may also be getting a pet ! muses can come look with him at a shelter or he can run into people there!

this would be a little later in his hiatus, but it’d be interesting if once he’s doing a little better, he gets the urge to dance and runs into a muse at the dance studio. idk that he’ll ever fall completely back in love with dancing, but he might rediscover some of what he did love about dancing and ash and this muse often run into each other as he visits that dance studio a little more often and they eventually bond over it / do some dancing together.

those who still really have that passion for making music ash has lost, talk to him about it <3 he misses it. he might cry but tbh he’s liable to cry in any thread

he’s cutting his hair short and dying it back to black this month, so it would be possible to run into him at the hair salon!

ash will want to be inside at home mostly at the beginning of his hiatus, but as it goes on, he’ll start to branch out and that will offer some more opportunities to hang out. he’ll try not to go to bars and clubs really, but small music venues or jazz lounges, small indie cinemas, galleries, those kind of things will be up his alley

idk that there’s much plotting to be had around this, but this long hiatus on top of the other hiatuses he’s had and his acting out before this hiatus is going to make some of the bc team realize it might not be super wise to keep pushing him hard as a cf model (and in the long run, just less of pushing him as a major idol star within the company in general tbh) so he’ll be able to get some more tattoos and piercings and will become more comfortable, hopefully, with presenting himself how he wants to be seen / having some development in that good ol’ lack of bodily autonomy aspect ash has always had going on. he’ll be coming out of hiatus living much more of his 2021 jk fc truth with the full sleeve and the eyebrow piercing .

uhhh ? pretty far down the line but i’ll mention it while it’s on my mind :) i think it’d be cool if ash did a collab (mini-)album (or two?) at some point after getting off hiatus. i’d want it to be someone he really clicks with creatively (though they don’t have to be a songwriter — i can see it working as collaborative songwriting or as ash feeling really inspired to write for them) and wants to work with since it’s not going to be something he’s letting bc push him into it at that point, and something that just happens organically. realistically, this would work with a female vocal best by far, maybe a male rapper just based on the songs ash does / i can see him doing. probably wouldn’t want to commit to anything fully rn unless it really clicks but i wanted to throw the idea out there :)

uhmmm?? ig i should also mention ash will be paying attention to his health both mental and physical he’s been neglecting for a while. there isn’t too much to say regarding plotting here because he needs to handle it himself with trying new therapy, medications, understanding there’s some stuff beyond “just” his depression going on. coming to accept nothing’s ever going to be perfect, but that self-awareness and effort can help more than denial can. not super plot potential-y but i’ll mention it since this is all the personal update section

basically, ash is taking time to recover mentally (and physically) and ultimately hopefully leave hiatus in a better place than he started where he can be more comfortable in his career, even if just a little bit, in himself, and in his life. if he can have some good, developing threads during the time, that’d be great!

[siancore]

A/N: Little fluffy one-shot about gay cats, Figaro Wilson and Alpine Barnes, and their owners, who are definitely gay for one another, too. 

Words: 3,479

Warnings: Bucky has anxiety. Figaro and Alpine are assholes. 

When he had more time, Bucky Barnes was definitely going to get a new printer. The one he had at home was being a pain in his ass presently, as he tried, once again, to print his missing cat flyer; the paper caught in the device again, and Bucky wanted to scream. Every second that was wasted trying to get the damn thing to work, was a second that his precious Alpine was out in the world alone. Bucky cursed once more as he yanked the paper from the printer. His whole week sucked, and the printer was making it worse. He was a nervous, anxious mess; his anxiety was exacerbated by the absence of his beloved pet.

Just then, he heard a knocking on his front door. He sighed loudly, and then stood up to answer it. Bucky’s mood lifted when he saw his very handsome neighbor, Sam Wilson standing there with that adorable smile plastered across that perfect face. Bucky instinctively brushed his hair back and smoothed his clothes down.

“Hi, Sam,” he said, genuinely pleased to see him.

“Hey, Bucky,” Sam replied. “Alpine got out again?”

“Yeah,” said Bucky. “How’d you know?”

“He’s in my car,” said Sam, as he turned to gesture to the vehicle. “He must’ve wandered around the corner. Found him in my backyard.”

“Oh my god, Sam, thank you so much,” said Bucky, as he followed the good-looking nurse down his garden path. “I could kiss you!”

“Let’s save the kissing for later,” said Sam, somewhat jokingly. Bucky felt a blush creep over his cheeks.

“Seriously, thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” said Sam, glancing sideways at him. “If Figaro took off, I’d want someone to bring him home, too.”

“Figaro?” said Bucky. “I didn’t realize you had a pet, as well.”

“Yeah,” said Sam with a grin. “He’s a bit of an asshole, but I love him. This is him.”

Sam extended his arm and his phone to show Bucky a picture of himself and an adorable white cat on the lock screen.

“Aww, Sam!” said Bucky, placing his hand over his heart. “He’s so cute, and I can definitely tell he’s an asshole.”

They both shared a little chuckle as they stopped in front of Sam’s car, and Bucky added, “That’s probably why Alpine keeps sneakin’ off. Must have a thing for cute assholes.”

Sam nodded his head and took in Bucky’s features; his eyes looked so clear out in the daylight.

“You think we need to sit ‘em down and give ‘em the talk?” Sam asked playfully.

Bucky grinned at Sam and tucked his stray hair behind his ear, before saying, “Yeah, we might have to.”

The pair stared at one another a moment; Bucky was memerized by the way Sam’s long eyelashes framed his deep, brown eyes in the prettiest way imaginable. Bucky was glad that his neighbor did not bring Alpine up to the house, but instead had Bucky walk to his car, effectively prolonging their interaction. While they lived in the same neighborhood, they didn’t get to talk a lot, or see one another that often, due to Sam’s work schedule, so it was nice when they did get to spend some time together. Bucky had a serious crush on Sam since he moved in around the corner from Bucky around three months prior. Alpine was the reason they initially met, Sam stopping to gush over the animal while on one of his runs.

“Here he is,” said Sam as he opened the door of his car and retrieved the cat carrier. He placed it on the hood and opened it. Bucky’s bright smile was worth being late for work, Sam mused.

Bucky took hold of Alpine, hugged him close, and then proceeded to scold him.

“You can’t go wanderin’ off like that,” he said to the cat. Sam thought it was adorable; thought he was adorable. Bucky looked at Sam and then said, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” said Sam with a smile as he placed his hand to Alpine’s head; he and Bucky’s fingers brushed together slightly and neither pulled away. “You should probably give me your number.”

“Uh?” said Bucky, wondering if he had heard Sam correctly.

“Your number,” said Sam, with a tilt of his head. “Y’know, in case he runs off again and ends up at my place.”

“Yeah, of course,” said Bucky as he took Sam’s phone and typed his number in. “That’d be great. I’m pretty sure he’s gonna make his way back to your house again.”

He handed the phone back to Sam and then smiled widely when Sam said, “Can’t really fault him; the boy’s got a crush and he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do.”

xXxXx

Figaro sure was an asshole, Bucky mused as he trudged around the corner with the cat carrier in his hand and said asshole crying inside of it.

“You’re such a naughty boy,” Bucky mumbled to the cat as he walked in the direction of Sam’s house. “Makin’ your daddy worry like that. Lucky I’m such a good neighbor offering to bring you home.”

The cat meowed again.

“What?” said Bucky. “You think I’m doin’ this just to see you daddy?”

The cat let out another meow.

“I’ll have you know I’m a cat lover first and foremost,” said Bucky. “The fact that your owner is the hottest guy I’ve ever seen is an added bonus.”

Figaro made another noise.

“Whatever,” said Bucky, as if they were having an actual conversation. “Don’t judge me.”

When he finally made it to Sam’s place, he fixed his hair and smoothed down his clothes before knocking. Sam opened the door, and gifted Bucky with a smile so bright and pretty that Bucky almost forgot why he was there.

“Hey,” said Sam, before looking down to the carrier. “I appreciate you bringing him. Thanks, man.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Bucky replied. “He was sniffin’ around for Alpine again.”

Sam undid the latch on the door and took Figaro out.

“Were you hangin’ out with your boyfriend, uh?” Sam asked his cat in a sing-song voice that Bucky thought was super cute. He stroked his pet’s head and then kissed it, before turning his attention back to Bucky. “You wanna come inside for a minute and grab a drink? Beer? Coffee? Whatever you like, man.”

Bucky tucked his hair behind his ear in that adorable way that Sam liked as he said, “Yeah, thanks. Coffee sounds great.”

Sam stepped aside, placed Figaro down, and then led Bucky to the living room.

“Have a seat,” said Sam.

“Thanks,” Bucky replied sweetly, as he took in his surrounds.

“How do you want it?”

Bucky’s mind went blank at Sam’s words. He was staring, mouth agape, and cheeks flushed when he realized what his host was talking about: The coffee.

“Oh. Umm. Black, two sugars,” said Bucky, as Sam looked on with an amused kind of glint in his pretty eyes.

“Cool, I won’t be a sec,” said Sam as he walked off into the kitchen; Bucky took the opportunity to check out his ass.

 It was nice to just sit and take it easy on a lazy weekend afternoon. It was nice to sit with Sam, thought Bucky, as he watched and listened to his neighbor speak. Sam was not overly animated, but there was something about the way his face lit up when he spoke that Bucky liked. Maybe Bucky just liked him too much, so every little thing he did and said seemed really nice.

Sam was sitting on the floor with a pile of cushions surrounding him, while Bucky sat on the small sofa and gazed at his crush. He wouldn’t have minded if Sam squeezed in beside him on the sofa, but thought it was considerate of him all the same. Figaro was snuggled up next to his owner; Sam absently stroked his cat’s fur as he and Bucky continued to chat.

Bucky found out that Sam had one sister and one brother; his folks were still around; he was from Harlem; and he was a medic in the Air Force before getting out and training to be a nurse. Sam found out that Bucky was from Brooklyn; he had one sister, his only family left; he was a veteran but was going to school to study social work. Both were gay; both loved cats. They had a lot in common, though Bucky was somewhat reserved, and Sam was a little more outgoing, and quite funny.

He said something that caused Bucky to laugh loudly, and Figaro to awaken. The cat stretched out near Sam, before getting to his feet, and lithely making his way to the sofa. He leapt up onto it, and then rubbed his head against Bucky’s leg. Bucky smiled and then stroked his head. Figaro purred and then climbed into Bucky’s lap where he settled in.

“He likes you,” said Sam, as he watched the exchange.

“He can probably smell Alpine on me,” Bucky said as he patted him.

“Nah, man, he likes you for you,” Sam insisted with a grin. “Can’t blame him. He’s got good taste.”

Bucky’s tummy did that thing where it felt like it was full of butterflies before he smiled shyly. His cute neighbour was flirting with him and he felt like rainbows were going to burst out of him at any second.

“You think so?” said Bucky, wishing he wasn’t so rusty at flirting himself.

“Yeah, for sure,” Sam replied, as he leaned down on his elbow and stared up at Bucky; he was so attractive that Bucky wanted to cry. “He’s got good taste like his owner.”

“He’s cute like his owner,” said Bucky, surprising himself then immediately feeling anxious; when Sam gifted him with a bright smile, he felt less nervous.

“I’m cuter,” Sam said playfully.

Bucky picked Figaro up and pretended to be examining him, before looking over at Sam.

“What d’ya think, Figaro? You think your daddy’s cuter?” Bucky asked the cat, who did not care about the courting rituals of humans at all. Bucky looked at an amused Sam, smiled at him, and then said, “Yeah, I agree. Sam’s definitely the cutest guy in this room.”

xXxXx

After his shift had ended, Sam went to his pigeonhole and retrieved his bag. He checked his phone like he normally did, hoping to see a nice text from Bucky, who had been sending him nice texts for a little over a month now. He was thoughtful like that, Sam found out. He would send pictures of things he thought would make Sam smile, like silly memes, inspirational quotes, or cat pics. Sometimes, there’d be the odd selfie of Bucky and Alpine. Those were Sam’s favorite things to receive.

As he opened his phone, he saw that there was actually a missed call from Bucky, and then a voicemail. Sam listened to the message and his heart sank.

“Sam? It’s Bucky. I’m sorry to call you when you’re at work. I know you’re busy. I’m just – I’m freakin’ out right now. Alpine hasn’t come home for three days. I know you said to just breathe and not worry too much, but it’s been three days, Sam. Almost four. He’s never been gone this long. I can’t stop thinkin’ about what might’ve happened. I just. I don’t know what to do. I don’t –”

That’s where the message cut out. Sam quickly returned the call. He knew Alpine helped Bucky with his anxiety, so having come up missing must have been awful for Bucky on so many levels. He answered after two rings.

“Sam?”

“Yeah, Buck. You okay over there?”

“Not really,” said Bucky. “He still hasn’t come home yet, and I’m worried. What if someone stole him? Or something awful happened to him? What if –”

“Hey, hey,” said Sam in a soothing manner. “He’s probably with Figaro somewhere. Just take it easy and breathe, okay?”

“Okay,” said Bucky, as he sat down.

“My shift’s finished, I’ll be home in twenty, and then I’ll have a look for him, alright?”

“Alright,” said Bucky. “Thank you, Sam. You always make me feel better.”

“You’re welcome,” said Sam with a gentle smile that Bucky couldn’t see. “Everything’s gonna be fine, dude. Sit tight. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

…..

By the time Sam arrived, Bucky had chewed his nails all the way back. He let Sam into the house, and Sam noticed the worry etched across his pretty face. Sam stepped forward and said, “Hey, dude. You alright?”

Bucky shook his head and sighed, “I haven’t gotten any sleep since he turned up missing.”

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” Sam asked as he knit his brow.

“I didn’t wanna bother you,” said Bucky. “I know you’ve been busy at work. I didn’t wanna trouble you with my anxiety shit.”

“Hey, you can call me any time,” said Sam, stepping closer and placing both hands to Bucky’s upper arms. “You’re not botherin’ me at all, okay?”

Bucky gave him a grateful but weak smile and said, “Okay.”

“You’re shaken up, man,” Sam said, taking in Bucky’s appearance. “C’mere.”

He drew Bucky into an embrace, wrapping his strong arms around Bucky’s waist. Bucky melted into Sam, resting his head against Sam’s shoulder, as he let out a relieved breath. They stayed that way for a while, holding one another and swaying slightly, before Bucky spoke again.

“Thank you, Sam,” he whispered, as he lifted his head and inched back a little. “I needed that.”

Sam brushed his hair away from his face, smiled gently, and said, “I got you. Come on, let’s sit down.”

Sam led Bucky by the hand to the sofa, and they sat beside one another.

“Buck, I checked my backyard, and in the house, but Alpine wasn’t there,” said Sam softly. “Neither was Figaro.”

“Oh, god,” said Bucky, feeling dread rise up inside once more.

“Hey, now,” said Sam, placing a comforting hand to Bucky’s knee. “Don’t assume the worst. I’ve been leaving food out for Figaro since work’s been hectic, and it looks like it’s been eaten.”

“Okay, that’s a good sign,” said Bucky.

“It is,” said Sam. “So, I’m thinking they probably ran off together, the pair of assholes. But, not in a way that means they’re not comin’ back. They most likely wandered around the neighborhood and found a little hideaway.”

“Alright, so how do we find them?”

“Well, last week, I got a tracking collar for Figaro,” said Sam. “If Alpine’s with him, and I’m willing to bet good money he is, then we’ll find ‘em in no time.”

“Oh my god, Sam,” said Bucky with a now hopeful look on his face. “I could kiss you right now.”

Sam gave him a bright smile, and said, “Let’s save the kissing for after we find them.”

…..

As fate would have it, Alpine was with Figaro. Sam was able to track his cat to a wooded area not too far away from their block. Figaro was curled up at the bottom of tall tree. He woke when Sam called to him, rushing toward his owner. Sam picked him up and checked him over.

“Is he okay?” Bucky asked as he searched the immediate area for his own cat.

Upon hearing Bucky speak, Alpine began to meow.

“He’s good,” said Sam. “But is that Alpine? Where’s that comin’ from?”

The pair glanced around as Figaro struggled to free himself from his owner’s grasp. Sam let him down, and the cat ran to the tree and started scratching at the base. Another meow was heard, and Sam looked up to find Alpine perched on a high branch.

“Buck,” said Sam as he tapped his shoulder. “There he is.”

Bucky looked to where Sam was pointing, and he let out a relieved sigh when he saw his cat.

“Alpine! What’re you doin’ up there?” said Bucky. “Get down!”

The cat stood up and tried to make his way down. He stopped when he couldn’t get a proper grip on the tree trunk.

“He’s stuck,” said Sam.

“How?” said Bucky. “I thought that wasn’t a real thing, just somethin’ they do in movies?”

“Oh, it’s a thing,” said Sam. “Cats are great at climbing up, not so much with gettin’ down. Plus, this tree is tall. Poor little guy’s probably scared.”

“Aww, Alpine, it’s okay, sweetheart,” said Bucky as he stepped closer to the tree and placed his hand to it. “Daddy’ll get you down. Shit, Sam, what am I gonna do? Can you give me a leg-up? I ain’t much of a climber, but I can’t leave him like that. My poor baby.”

“Wait here,” said Sam. “I’ll be right back.”

…..

Bucky sat at the base of tree, holding Figaro and talking to Alpine. Ten minutes later, Sam came back with a ladder and Figaro’s cat carrier. Bucky scrambled to his feet and greeted Sam with a huge smile. Sam returned the grin, and then leaned the ladder against the tree.

“Put him in his carrier,” said Sam. “And I’ll get Alpine.”

“You’re the best,” Bucky gushed as he secured Figaro.

He then watched as Sam climbed the ladder and reached out to get Alpine. Alpine was a little skittish and wouldn’t go to Sam at first. Sam made kissy noises at him and called his name. After a while, the cat warmed up to him and approached slowly. He sniffed Sam’s hand and then inched closer, close enough for Sam to securely grasp him, and make his way back down the ladder.

Bucky rushed over and took Alpine from Sam. The cat snuggled against his owner and Bucky held him tight.

“You had me so worried, you asshole,” said Bucky as he held Alpine firmly to his chest.

Sam watched them with a smile on his face. When Bucky’s gaze met his, Sam offered him a little nod of his head. Before he could say something reaffirming to him, Bucky closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Sam’s.

After the initial surprise passed, Sam cupped Bucky’s face and kissed him back just as eagerly. Their first kiss was the nicest that either had ever had. The pair only broke apart when Alpine began to make a fuss. Sam and Bucky drew away timidly, neither wanting to end the contact now that they had finally shared such an intimate moment.

They offered each other a soft smile before Sam asked, “What was that for?”

Bucky bit his lip and tucked his hair behind his ear, before replying, “You said to save the kissing for after we found them; and we found them, so I thought – was that alright? You didn’t mind, did you? I’m sorry if you did, I just –”

“Buck, hey, it’s fine, dude,” said Sam with a little chuckle. “I didn’t mind at all. So, let’s get these assholes home and make sure they’re fed, and then we can keep kissing if you want. I mean, only if you want to.”

Bucky beamed at Sam and said, “Oh, I definitely want to.”

…..

Alpine and Figaro snoozed together on the mess of cushions strewn about Sam’s floor. Sam sat on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table and Bucky’s head resting in his lap. Sam’s ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair as he let out a contented sigh.

“Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“Figaro.”

“What about him?”

“Do you think he waited there with Alpine the whole time he was stuck?” asked Bucky, shifting so he could look up at Sam. “That’d be romantic, right?”

“Yeah,” said Sam with a little laugh. “It would. I mean, I could check the tracker app for you.”

“No, it’s okay,” said Bucky. “I’d like to think he waited.”

Sam stroked Bucky’s face and said, “I think he did.”

“He’s a lot like you,” said Bucky with adoration for Sam etched across his face. “A good guy.”

“Aww, thanks, Buck,” Sam replied with a grin. “I think you’re great, too.”

Bucky shifted and sat up. He leaned against the back of the sofa and took hold of Sam’s hand.

“I’d wait with you, y’know?” Bucky said in earnest. “If you were stuck up a tree.”

They both looked at one another and then burst out into laughter.

“What makes you think I’d be the one to get stuck doin’ something dumb?” asked Sam playfully.

“You’re right,” said Bucky. “I’d definitely be the one crying up a tree for three days.”

Sam lifted his hand and tucked Bucky’s hair behind his ear before he leaned in and kissed him softly.

“Yeah, well, just make sure you call me if you’re ever stuck anywhere, with anything,” said Sam as he searched the depths of Bucky’s eyes. “Cat related or otherwise. I meant it when I said I got you. You know that, right?”

“I know,” said Bucky before kissing Sam again. “I got you, too.”

[pandoraimperatrix]

Four Names for Love

Gotham | BatCat | BabyFic | Multi-chapter | Read on AO3

Summary: When Bruce parted ways with Gotham he was leaving behind more than he thought. Meanwhile Selina is trying to find a way to herself after being abandoned again and on top of that she finds out she was left with a lot more than a heartbreak.

Eros part I

The following sections of the story are missing moments from the 5th season.

(eros)

I love you against a wall, your teeth grazing my inner thigh my fingers wrapped in your hair. —           one, two, three, four - a.j. (via ibuzoo)

 ‘Whachadoin?’

‘Good lord! Selina! You scared me!’

She burst into a fit of giggles pleased with herself, Bruce couldn’t help but smile too, despite his racing heart, a while ago he thought he would never see her laughing like that again. Selina fell heavily next to him on the bed where he was sitting against the headboard, no regards for personal space at all.

‘Shouldn’t you be resting?’

She furrowed her brows, annoyed.

‘I’ve already told you. I’m done with resting. I went to the Sirens, couldn’t go around wearing that weird hospital gown forever. Got my whip back too, wanna see?’

They shared a look, his eyes drinking in each leather-covered part of her, almost in an indecent way, and further than a slight red glow on her smiling cheeks, she didn’t seem to be offend with his attentions at all, she actually looked even more pleased and mellow, leaning into his side just a little bit more.

‘No. This room is really small, and I’m sure I’ll have the opportunity to see you put it in action soon enough.’

‘Your loss, then.’ But she didn’t seem upset at that either. So much of Selina’s words didn’t match her actions. It used to drive Bruce crazy when they were younger, but now, it was one of the things that made her so appealing to him. Like she was a mystery for him to solve, and as much as frustrating it was always being dragged to square one when he thinks he finally has her figured out, it was also that what made he come back for more every time.

‘Hey, dance with me?’

She snorted and gave him that look in which he could see in her face the amounts of silly she found him to be. It was a lot. No offense taken, he actually liked when she patronized him, it was endearing.

‘There is no music, dumdum.’

He stood up from the bed, Selina got caught by surprise with his sudden move and almost slid down to a lying position without his body to support. Bruce walked around the bed and unstuck a pair of earbuds and an mp3 player from his pocket; he offered a bud to Selina.

‘Come.’

‘But you said there was no batteries anymore.’

‘I’ve found one working. Come.’ He offered again.

‘Okay…’ She said unsurely, but got up and pushed her curls away to put the earbud. He took her wrists and urged her to step in closer to him putting her arms around his neck, and then he pressed play.

Selina frowned when she listened some old timey piano, then she had to lower her head against his chest to laugh.

‘This is what you have on your super modern rich boy device? Some sad old man song? Why am I not surprised?’

‘Shh, pay attention to the lyrics.’

‘This is so stupid, and you are such a sap.’

His hands around her waist pressed her just a little firmer against him for that, but she didn’t protest when he slowly started moving their bodies together, instead, she rested her head on his shoulder and let her eyes fall shut. They stood like that for short moment until Bruce started to sing along off-key followed by her muffled giggles against his neck.

‘You can say that you're leading me on But it's just what I want you to do Don't you notice how hopelessly I'm lost That's why I'm following you’

‘You are so lucky you’re already filthy rich, kid, because if you had to sing for your supper you’d starve. No, scratch that, I’d personally end your misery by killing you if I had to share a street corner with you.’

With a smile on his face, and spinning them both around the tiny room despite the slow cadence of the music, Bruce followed the last part loudly ignoring Selina laughs and protests.

‘On my own Would I wander through this wonderland alone Never knowing my right foot from my left My hat from my glove I'm too misty and too much in love

Look at me’

She did. And instead of keep making fun of him, Selina slid her hands from to his neck to his face bringing him down for a kiss. The first was chaste, didn’t last much. Sighing, Bruce ended it, letting his forehead fall against hers.

‘I almost lost you.’

Her thumbs rubbed his cheekbones lovingly, his eyes were closed, but hers were open studying the shadows of is dark eyelashes on his fair skin.  She loved those moments in which she could just look at him without being seen, when there was no judgement, not even her own.

‘I’m here now.’ She whispered. ‘I’m here whenever you need me.’

He looked at her, she swallowed hard when faced with the intensity of the feelings in his eyes.

Selina carefully took the earbud from herself then from Bruce. She put the device safely away, then she slowly took off her gloves, then her jacket, well aware of his unbreakable gaze. She gave him a half smile before pulling him closer by his own jacket. She kissed his chin, then the corner of his lips.

‘Selina what are you doing?’

‘What does it looks like?’

‘But you are recovering.’

‘I’m fine, Bruce, really.’

‘But…’

‘If you don’t want to just say it, I’ll go.’ But by the way she said it, it was clear to both of them that she wasn’t going anywhere. She smiled coyly and helped him take off his own jacket, as her hands worked, Bruce dipped his head in the curve of her neck, taking in her smell hungrily. She smelled of antiseptic soap, old leather, and something salty and rich that he learned to associate with her and Gotham streets when it was dark but the moonlight hit the cobblestones just right. Selina and Gotham. There couldn’t be one without the other to Bruce, and in the last days he felt both of them slipping through his fingers. It was maddening. When he felt the last of the leather slip off from his arms hitting the floor, he led his hands to her waist, pushing the fabric of her shit up just a bit so he could touch skin, she shivered.

‘Are you cold?’ He whispered on her ear, a wave of pride hitting him south when she purred softly.

‘No.’

He pushed her hair away, kissing her from the ear to her eyes, her nose, then finally her lips. This time it was far from a chaste kiss. He felt her fisting the fabric covering his back when he tipped his tongue between the seam of her lips, and she let him in. It was a messy kiss that one. Teeth clicking awkwardly, and misplaced tongues until they fell in a more comfortable rhythm.    

Selina was panting when they broke up.

‘Take…’ She inhaled. ‘That that stupid thing off.’ She ordered tugging his jumper.

He chuckled but obeyed, his hair sticking up in odd places, ruining the dangerous look he tried to give in and denouncing how young he actually was. Then he focused on her own shirt, lifting it slowly and without breaking eye contact whit her, those huge green pools, so expressive, often filled with mirth or distrust, now darkened with lust.

‘Eyes up here, Bruce.’ She said after he threw her shirt on the bed and couldn’t help but admire the swell of her breasts held by the lacy black fabric.

He gave her a boyish smile, then became very serious.

‘Have you done this before?’

A hit of pain crossed her face and she looked away, he wanted to kick himself.

‘Not properly, but you have, haven’t you?’

He sighed and touched her tenderly, the back of his fingers on her neck and collarbone, he had no many freckles he wanted to connect them all and give their constellation names.

‘It’s different.’

She looked back at him, confused.

‘It’s you.’ He explained.

She felt like the breath was stolen from her lungs.

Selina kissed him again. ‘Just don’t hurt me.’ She said between kisses. ‘Never.’ He promised husky.

He pushed her to the bed, lying her down. The bed gave in a little to his weight when Bruce put one knee between Selina’s legs, one hand supporting him as he hovered over her, and the other caressing one side of her body accompanied for this lips on the other side. He took his time cupping her breast over the lace, rubbing the most sensitive part with his thumb, smiled at her nipple as it hardened under his kiss. But he kept downwards, kneading her waist, kissing her belly until he reached the waistband of her jeans. He looked up silently requesting permission.

‘Come here.’

He did. She grabbed the back of his head firmly, Bruce moaned with the ferocity of her kiss. Selina flipped them over, straddling him. She thrusted her hips against him and Bruce moaned one more time, so she it again, and again feeling him swell under her without stop kissing him once. His hands got caught in the tangle of her hair and they finally had break a little, giggling, to free him. His hands fell then to her hips and she rubbed her centre against him one more time feeling all the pleasure the delicious fiction brought to them both. Bruce’s hands slid upwards to her back and Selina arched a little to help him as he undid her bra. His gaze was meticulous as he followed the fabric sliding through her skin revealing one more piece of her that he had never explored before.

He held a hand to her face.

‘You are so beautiful.’

She rolled her eyes playfully but couldn’t resist the smile curving her lips, hating herself a little for how those cliché words made her feel.

But her answer was to undo his crotch button.  

 Despite wanting to write about them dancing to Misty by Johnny Mathis since forever (I’m not an old man, I swear, I’m just a 26 years old woman with weird taste in music) Bruce singing badly to Selina is something inspired buy my currently favourite fic THE DANGERS OF KNITTING by deaddennis, go read it!

For the next post you will get a little more of sweet sweet romance until we go back to reality.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 13x22 “Exodus”

“WATCH THIS SHOW” they said. “IT’LL BE FUN” they said. cue me being very stressed out for two hours straight

02:38pm

am i looking forward to this, with absolute confidence that nothing terrible and unfortunate will happen because it’s the deadly duo writing this and it’s near the end of the season and last episode was the whiplashiest of whiplashes? NOPE

am i gonna watch it anyway? .......yeah

hopes: nobody we care about dies

-

02:43

I DID NOT WANT THIS RECAP

SAMMY DID NOT DESERVE THAT

but also i still haven’t seen a captioned giftset of the moment cas said to dean “dean, he’s gone, we can’t save him”

‘cause wow as far as destiel moments go, that’s a heck of a lot of trust for dean, and a heck of a lot of concern and care on cas’ part

-

02:46

lucifer: your name is jack

jack: and yours is lucifer

i don’t even know why i laughed but i did??? i don’t think that was meant to be funny

-

02:48

lucifer: don’t you think that’s his choice?

cas: no

the abusive dad vs protective family saga continues

-

also i just realised for MONTHS/years? i’ve been using the 24-hour clock on my laptop and didn’t even notice how much i didn’t like it until just now, and i just changed it, and AAH THIS IS BETTER IT SAYS 02:49 INSTEAD OF 14:49 AND I DON’T ACCIDENTALLY TYPE 4:49 WHEN WRITING THESE POSTS

-

actually in terms of abusive parents vs protective families (expanding on what i said last week), i kinda feel like right now the writers are kinda toning down how bad it can be. lucifer’s so chill about this, kinda, and i’ve known families whose estranged parent is almost a perfect match for lucifer’s behaviour here:

they’ll offer the kid an incredible gift without telling the other parent(s), something the kid can’t refuse because of how badly they want/need it, and the parents can’t refuse without being the bad guy(s), and the whole family then becomes eternally indebted to the abusive parent and is obliged to give them money/time/rights with their child, with the threat of violence, property destroyed, access to said property removed, or instigated legal proceedings if they refuse.

plus the kid is often too young or innocent to understand, they just see an extra parent who gives them nice things, and for a kid from a broken home with not enough to go around, they don’t see the downside, and they maybe never see the threat their parents are under. or they’re physically or mentally abused by their parent(s), but think it’s okay because the parent(s) “apologises” or bribes them with nice things. or if the protective parent(s) try and keep them away from the abusive parent, the kid sees themselves as being deprived of that parent’s love

long story short, people can be shitty, and lucifer probably has the potential to be much worse than just standing around and having a casual discussion

i feel like the extended winchester family verbally defending jack is not gonna be enough, and lucifer’s gonna wanna take back sam, and destroy more while he’s at it

like an “if i can’t have it, nobody can have it” sort of thing

-

03:03

eyyy felicia day is in the credits

-

03:04

hug!!!!!!!!!!!

nawww the lil tiny nuzzle dean does with his chin before pulling away

-

03:07

YEAH MARY YOU PUNCH THE DEVIL IN THE FACE

!!!

AGAIN!!!

cas kinda looked like he was expecting that

-

03:09

i was busy admiring how mary’s hair was perfectly curly 

and then by the next shot it was all limp and sad

if the weather was humid i guess it melted the curl between takes

-

but also MARY WHAT THE HELL

YOU DON’T WANNA ABANDON ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE AU

BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR SMOL NEEDY HERO CHILDREN

??????

i mean i get it bUT ALSO NO I DON’T

-

also my face is >:| because they cut to cas and lucifer in the middle of mary and dean having a super important conversation

usually it’s not jarring but THAT WAS JARRING

eehh the deadly duo trademark is all over this

-

03:15

sam: mom doesn’t wanna leave these people.

sam: ...

sam: so let’s take ‘em with us

YEAH NOW THAT’S A PLAN

MUCH BETTER

take charlie and bobby too okay please

..........aw man now i said that, i get the terrible feeling that one or both of them is gonna go out in a blaze of glory instead, or stay on the sinking ship for no good reason other than because the writers don’t know what else to do with them

edit: i mean there’s still next episode.... (best case, they all survive and get storylines next season)

-

03:20

see all the stuff lucifer is telling jack is true, and it does remove the blame from the CONCEPT of lucifer

but the personality is lucifer is BAD AND ABUSIVE

like you don’t have to commit horrible crimes to be a bad person to be around

he corrupts the will of others, he tortures them emotionally, he manipulates them

none of those things are first-degree murder, or the great oppression of the entire human race, but they are Bad Things For A Father To Be

-

03:23

lucifer: i have done bad things, but i just want the opportunity to get better. doesn’t everybody? don’t you?

i actually feel sick ‘cause this is sooooooo very very dangerous

cas was right, talking to lucifer is bad

yeah, he says all the right things. anyone could give him the benefit of the doubt, and perhaps say sure, lucifer’s changed ‘cause he has a kid now, but he PROVED in bringing sam back to life that he hasn’t changed

and not just because of the “i’mma bring jack a gift he can’t refuse thing”, but the “i’mma kill sam again if he doesn’t agree to this” thing

lucifer is a manipulative, blackmailing, flaming trash baby and jack needs better. lucifer might treat jack himself with genuine love, but he’ll destroy everyone and everything around him in doing so

-

03:28

also? i relate so hard to the fact dean, sam, and cas all see and know the real lucifer, and lucifer’s putting on a show for jack

i think the people i’ve personally felt the least safe around in the past, especially growing up, are the people who are perfectly sweet when you’re in company and then become bullies as soon as the adults/parents/protectors are out of earshot

and there’s no way to prove to your protectors that you’re being hurt because all they see is “a nice person” or “ohh they’re such a sweetie”

i mean it’s the other way around for team free will and jack, where tfw see the real thing and jack sees the perfect angel but yeah

-

03:42

ketch: take the b&o railroad......straight to hell

good line tbh

-

03:43

angel to ketch: i’ve sent for an expert in these matters

probably gonna be other ketch

-

03:44

WHOA DARK CAS

WAY BETTER

he has a twitchy hamster face

where does misha get these ideas

i kinda wanna draw whiskers on dark!cas ???

-

03:46

THE FACT DEAN CAN GIVE CAS INSTRUCTIONS JUST BY FLUTTERING HIS EYELASHES

and the way he moves his eyes is so soft and gentle and subtle too

it makes my heart feel a thing tbh

even though cas is torturing someone

ugh nonverbal communication is so sexy

-

03:52

DARK CAS IS GERMAN ?????

and there’s........something misha-like in his smile?? that’s weird

-

03:54

I AM INTENSELY UNCOMFORTABLE

his two different eyes are cool though

maybe it’s just a trick of the light, or a very subtle contact lens

-

03:55

fuck yeah that coat

but why is he german, other than clearly being a nazi-inspired character

-

is it just me or is this legitimately the scariest of all misha’s characters

i want to run away and hide

-

actually i kinda wanna cry

-

03:59

that’s better

GOOD CAS, PLZ DESTROY NAZI CAS

-

04:02

ketch: “well helloo~”

ketch: “are you... actually saving me? about bloody time”

gayyyyyyyy

biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

also maybe definitely a destiel parallel from that time cas beat dean up to stop him saying yes to micheal

-

04:05

um?????

that smile when real!cas dragged the blade down dark!cas throat ?????

-

04:08

jack’s like LET ME DO THE THING EVERYONE’S BEEN TRYING TO DO FOR MONTHS/YEARS

IN ONE HOUR

-

04:11

fuck yeah mary

lookin all swish at the back of the war bus

-

04:12

????????????????????

??????????????????????????????????

hOW DID THEY GET THE BUS THROUGH THE TUNNEL THAT HAD THE VAMPIRES IN

DID THEY TAKE THE MOUNTAIN ROUTE THAT WOULD’VE TAKEN SEVERAL DAYS???

WHAT???????????????????

-

04:16

MY HEART IS POUNDING

C’MON EVERYONE YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

-

04:17

mary, bobby, ketch, charlie, jack are safe!!!! SAVE EVERYONE!!! QUICK QUICK

NOBODY LEFT BEHIND PLEASE

except lucifer maybe

except that would probably be bad in the long run

-

CAS IS SAFE

YAH C;MON!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I’M SO STRESSED RN

fuckin feel like i’m trying to pull ducklings one by one through a fence before a dog gets them FUCK

/sobs to self

-

04:19

I;M GONBA HEVA FUCKING HEART ATACK FUHF

-

04:20

WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE BLACK GUY

DO THESE WRITERS LIKE.. HAVE A FETISH FOR DEAD BLACK PEOPLE

WHAT THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM

AND THE CAMERA ALWAYS LINGERS MORE WHEN IT’S THESE WRITERS I’M PRETTY SURE??? someone do a test, go find all the dead black people and check which writers/editors/directors leave the camera lingering for longest

istg these writers do it more often and for longer

-

04:24

aw MAAAAN :C

dean’s “gaBE nO” though. :c :c :c

-

04:26

everyone except gabe :c :c :c

(and no lucifer...........like i said, great now, baaaaaad in the long run)

-

04:29

nobody mentions cas but he’s still there, looking all pretty and being a good, wholesome bean

-

04:30

:C

-

04:30

SEE? BAD

VERY BAD

-

04:33pm

it ends

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man that was 

........a lot

overall a good ‘un but STILL VERY STRESSFUL

i need a nice calming shower after that, i smell like !!!!!anxiety!!!!

9/10, loses a point JUST BECAUSE OF HOW STRESSFUL IT WAS TO WATCH. THIS WAS NOT FUN AT ALL

BUT STILL GOOD??

I DUNNO MAN I JUST WANT A SHOW WITH THESE EXACT CHARACTERS JUST HANGING AROUND AND BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER AND FALLING IN LOVE AND HEALING EACH OTHER EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND BAKING CAKES AND RAISING CHILDREN

to be fair though, my endless almost-what-i-wanted-but-not-quite dissatisfaction with this show keeps driving me to write 81+ fanfics where nice things happen 

so

win-win????

but this show would still be better with dean/cas cuddles let’s be real

[familyofpebbles]

September 10th, 2021

If I’ve learned anything the past couple years, it’s that when I’m repeatedly not accomplishing something that I want to, it’s best to change the strategy instead of trying to force myself into a method that just isn’t working for me. I’ve often struggled with not being able to just FORCE myself to do things- it’s just a matter of willpower and discipline is it not?? So I spent years spinning my wheels on a lot of things. It’s not a waste of time to try out a new strategy, multiple new strategies, if you’re not making progress anyways. It’s an investment. Once you find something you can stick to, suddenly you’re moving again! And with much less agonizing over it!

This applies to smaller things like this blog, too. We’ve lived together, what, three years? Nearly four? And have not managed to write any of it down (except for the last two a month or two ago.) So, instead of writing in such detail, or alternating going through a trip day by day, or writing you romantic letters (I can just tell you in person now!) I’m gonna just try to write once a month. And I’m gonna write about what I want. I’ll try to cover some missed time, but I’m not gonna stress about it too hard. I’m going to try to remind you to write something once a month too. Long or short, detailed or not, doesn’t matter. What matters is that we have SOMETHING. I value the book I made out of our last blog so much. I’m SO thankful we have a record of the beginning of our relationship, messy bits and all. I want that for the rest of our life too, it’s just so good. And I like the idea that one day a grandchild, or someone even further down the lineage (hello, you!) will be interested in what their ancestors lives were like. I wish I had something like this from mine. I hope these books of ours survive that long. It’s like part of us is still living if our story is being told.

-

Well, gosh. Where do I start now? That’s the problem with leaving off for so long.

We live in Germany, as I’m sure the reader has been able to gather. (Who am I writing to? You still, Robert? Or is this a letter to whoever picks this book up? I don’t know and I probably won’t be consistent about it. You’ll just have to keep up I suppose!)

We live in Germany. You’re stationed here- chose Hohenfels because it’s a chill unit that doesn’t deploy. You still got your EIB while here though! Super proud of you for that. You worked so hard, I don’t think you left work mode at all the entire time, it’s all you thought about. And you did it!

I work at a bank now. Again. It’s not bad, but I don’t like the manager. I won’t waste effort talking about him, but trust me, I have stories. Thankfully we’re about to get a new one. I also met one of my new best friends there. Her name is Jordan, and I’m soooo thankful to have found someone here I really vibe with.  It is a tragedy of military life that we will move away from each other sooner rather than later. But it is a perk of military life to have the opportunity to meet people from all over that you never would have otherwise. And it’s a perk of living in this era of easy communication to not have to lose touch.

We love Germany. Like really love it. Like wish we could stay forever love it.

When we got here we arrived late, in the dark. We drove up to a building in the middle of this colorful little gingerbread fairytale town and were told that this was our hotel that we’d be staying in until we had a place of our own. We couldn’t believe it was real.

I can’t imagine a more perfect welcome to Germany. Those first couple months were blissful. We were in a beautiful hotel on the main street of the small town of Velburg- our room sitting on top of the café with homemade pastries, tea, and beer. The beer! It’s as good as they say, truly. Which means a lot, coming from me. Each building was a different color and covered in flowers and vines. Everyone had a beautiful garden. The church at the head of the road rang it’s bells hourly, and our street smelled of wood smoke and fresh bread from the bakery directly across from us. The weather was stunning- bright blue skies and warm sun and a cool September breeze. The food was the best we had ever tasted. The sheep up the road always ran up to us to be loved on. And there were beautiful castle ruins on the hill right above us. The tower has been restored, and we hiked up to it regularly to look out over the countryside. Germany really greeted us with the warmest of hugs.

Now we live in a town called Hohenburg. It’s not as lively, having been cut off from much of the surrounding towns and roads by the base. The buildings on the main street are still bright, but they’re mostly empty, and many of them sag backwards a bit. But I still find it charming. It’s quiet, and feels safe, and there’s a lovely walking path Livvy and I use all the time. And we have our own ruins too! Less intact, but it’s always magical rounding the bend on the way home and looking at our pretty little town with it’s castle overlooking it. Like a fairytale. It’s beautiful around here, year round. My favorite time is early mornings in spring, with everything green and blooming and a cozy fog slowly dissipating in the golden light. I always stop to move snails out of the road. I love it here so much.

-

Ah, you just got home. That makes it harder to write. You’ve been on rotation so have been gone a lot, and have most of today off. If you just wanna play video games, I’ll keep writing, but if not I’ll come back to this tomorrow. Maybe I’ll write more than just once this month. I’m enjoying it.

-

It’s tomorrow! We ended up talking and having a glass of wine and making dinner. My favorite kind of evening with you. I’m so thankful we’re together. The novelty hasn’t worn off.

-

You bought me an electric piano for our anniversary last year. Best gift ever! I really need to set aside more time to play it… I’ve just recently started trying to set aside 30 minutes before going to bed to either read or play piano, but it’s hard to stick to when there’s just oooone mooore thing I could get done. But I think it’s important to try and prioritize that kind of intentional relaxation. I’m trying to learn Gymonopedie no. 1. It’s not actually as technically hard as I thought, the hard part is memorization. It would help a ton if I could read music but… I don’t wanna learn. Maybe eventually.

-

Regensburg was the first city we went to here. We took the train and watched all the storybook towns roll by. Perfect choice. It’s a beautiful place, exactly what you would think of if called on to imagine a classic European city. St. Peter’s was the first cathedral we saw, towering and imposing and intricately carved, impressive in its shadowy heights. But my favorite, forever favorite, was St. Emmeram’s. The beauty touched me in an unexpected way. I’m just going to copy/paste what I wrote about it from Instagram because I put it exactly the way I wanted to then:

“There are conversations to be had about the greed of organized religion throughout history- gold leaf and marble and soaring ceilings while the impoverished of the congregation struggle. Not exactly Christ-like. Not exactly Christian.⁣ ⁣ But I must admit, these are not conversations I wanted to have inside this building.⁣ ⁣ There is something in the human soul that is nourished by beauty. And this was, for lack of a better word, heavenly. I could feel the centuries of people seeking out this space for comfort, inspiration, hope. Maybe on their darkest days, desperately looking for something better, higher. I can understand that. ⁣ ⁣ The way the light cascaded from the windows, illuminating each sculpted figure on the opposite wall at sunset. Serene faces gazing benevolently down upon you. Perfect acoustics for the angelic music to envelop and sooth you. Something is larger than you and your problems, there is more to life than this.⁣ ⁣ It brought tears to my eyes.”

Also- we had the best pasta of our lives in that city. Seriously, every other pasta I ever eat will be compared to that one. Goddamn.

-

Covid limited our travel ability significantly for about a year, which was a bummer. I suppose it would be interesting in historical terms to get into our experience and feelings about that but… not so fun to write. And honestly, we were lucky. It didn’t affect us all that much. We couldn’t travel, couldn’t hang out with groups, and had to wear masks everywhere (still do on that one). It was hard to get used to but once we did… well that’s just how it was. We were still working. We didn’t get sick, no family or close friends got sick, so were alright. And we got vaccinated fairly early on. So we were lucky. Anyway. The POINT is that we haven’t been able to go to as many countries as we would have liked to. But we managed to see a lot in Germany, and we’re beginning to cross borders again this year, which is exciting.

It’s so easy to see amazing things here. You don’t have to go very far at all to see something beautiful or ancient or both. We’ve seen countless castles, ruined and restored. We’ve gone to the oldest monastic brewery in the world and sampled the beer and liquor. We visited Munich and toured the palace and drank and the massive beer hall. We’ve toured museums and gotten tattoos and tried all the limited vegetarian options Germany has to offer. We hiked up to a castle on my birthday so you could take pictures of me in a fancy dress through the fog. We’ve gone on many walks and taken a cable car up to the highest mountain in Germany… it was cloudy but still impressive. We got to experience Christmas markets our first year here, which I absolutely adore and I really hope they come back soon. We go out to dinner with friends, have big beers or ouzo shots with a feast. We have parties and host D&D nights and sometimes go to a lake. We’ve built a little community here like we didn’t bother to do in North Carolina. You got another promotion, I’m planning our wedding (we postponed again). We’re happy. Really happy.

We joke about how everyone says the first year is the hardest, oh wait no, the second year is when reality really sets in… oh well just wait til you have kids!! But it’s so easy. It’s so easy to live with you and love you. Every night is a slumber party still. I’m still happiest when you’re around. You’re still my very best friend. Nothing tops just talking to you.

I suppose our circumstances help, hard to be unhappy with these kind of surroundings! But then again, people are. We see it all the time. Doesn’t matter where you live when your relationship sucks. I’m thankful for you. Everything turned out so well for us, its wild.

-

There are so many trips to write about! It’s a bit overwhelming. I feel like I’ve given us a pretty good start though, so perhaps that’s a next time kind of thing. I’m excited to see what you start us off here with.

[theartofwar-rp]

♫ Just One Look at You, and I Know It's Gonna Be a Lovely Day ♫

We know we’re a little late getting this published, but don’t worry. We still wanna celebrate a couple more fantastic AOW Members this month! 

Just in case you need refreshing, every month here we’re spotlighting two members and showering them with lots of love and affection. These members are selected at random, and we won’t have any repeats until everyone is featured. We’re doing this because we’re allllllll about spreading those good vibes. Also, we’re all about celebrating you, our amazing, wonderful, and incredibly talented members. You all deserve the world. Seriously. 

Alright, enough blubbering from your admins. Let’s get on to AOW Members of the Month, May Edition. 

CHANTEL: @catescrimgeour & @eldestbones 

I  love reading what you have on the dash, your characters are so interesting to read about and I love how life like they are. You have such interesting ideas and are wicked funny!! ---Haylie 

It’s always a great pleasure to read Chantel’s characters on the dash. They are so beautifully crafted, with such depth and attention to details, they are real. Thank you for bringing them to life and sharing them with us. ---Stefano

Chantel is such a nice and warm person, I feel like she’s super supportive ooc and I love it when her characters pop up on the dash! I haven’t played with them much (gotta change that) but I’m a big fan of Henry, Cate AND Chantel. ---Harriet

As soon as I picked up Amelia, she was already messaging me on Discord for plots and threads. It made me so happy to know I had a sibling to rp with that is completely and totally dedicated! Chantel is so, so kind and always has something positive to say. ---Kt

Chantel, I am so glad our paths have crossed through RP. You are always so kind to others, and so receptive to their plots and ideas. Absolutely you are a team player, and I appreciate that about you so much. OCs admittedly used to worry me; not anymore. The fact that Cate and Henry weren’t part of the original design of this group astounds me because they fit so beautifully and offer so much. I already don’t want to imagine AOW without them—and especially without you. Thank you for being such a supportive ray of sunshine in AOW! I cant wait to see your characters grow on the dash and get to share more of this journey with you. ---Beth

Oh my goodness, where do I even begin, Chantel? We had the pleasure of crossing paths in the past, and I’m so glad you’ve followed us here. Before AOW was even established (hell, when we still called it the “New Place”), you were eager and excited about this opportunity. Your optimism, kindness, and friendly demeanor truly helped Beth and I position AOW, and figure out what and who we wanted to be as a group. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Not to mention, you’ve brought two incredibly unique roles to the bunch. You should be so proud of the writing you’ve done! AOW has only been opened for a few months, and I already see Henry growing and developing---Cate is well on her way too! I’m totally rambling, but please know how truly grateful I am to have you in this group. (Never leave and take 10 characters, please?) ---Nicole

ILYATATH: @fletcher-mundungus

Mundungus has never been a fave character of mine but I really love how you’ve brought him to life! You make him so interesting and fun to read about and write against! And you are so nice!! ---Haylie

We have been rping together for ages. I’ve met dozens and dozens of Ilyatath’s characters over the years and it always amazes me how they come to life, each one of them unique and spectacular in their own way. Thank you. ---Stefano 

I had never seen anyone play Mundungus until I saw Ilyatath play him and honestly ?? I was blown away. I never thought I would love Mundungus Fletcher so damn much but she has literally created such a good character. He sticks to the canon but she’s also so creative he’s become such a personality, you never know what he’s going to do or say next. Amazing 10/10 such great writing and characterisation. ---Harriet 

I feel like whichever of my characters is talking to Mundungus, it’s going to be an enjoyable experience. I love seeing Dung in action. He’s got his unique place on the dash and his banter is always something I love to read, especially when I’m the one replying to it. Such a talented writer! ---Kt

Mundungus is a very bizarre character, not just in that he as a person is intriguing and off beat, but in that despite all that, I still love him so much?? You have always done a beautiful job with him, but this has been especially true these past couple of months at AOW. He’s such a clear and vivid person, and you and him both inspire me creatively, which I’m just so thankful for. You da best. ---Beth

Alright, I’m just going to say it: Ilyatath writes Mundungus Fletcher better than JKR did. YEP, I SAID IT. How you’ve managed to adhere to canon while still taking Dung on a unique path blows my mind. I’m in awe of your writing abilities! Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful character with us. I cannot imagine AOW without your Mundungus. Also, you are so approachable and willing to plot. I feel like I could go to you with a crazy plot idea, and you would immediately begin writing the starter. I’m so grateful to have you here. (Please stay here forever and take all the characters!) ---Nicole

@all: We know we sent this out at the last minute (sorry about that!), so feel free to comment on this post with your kind words if you didn’t get a chance to submit. xoxoxo!

[karamelsecretsanta]

We might as well (Be strangers)

Rated: T

Warning: None apply

#karamel #songfic #headcanon #speculation

Dear DJ @thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain,

I hope you enjoy this little fic inspired by our mutual love of Karamel and songs that fit them.

Have a wonderful Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

With love,

Jane @ms-jane-darcy

I don’t know your face no more Or feel your touch that I adore I don’t know your face no more It’s just a place I’m looking for 

Mon-El knew his return would affect everyone. Everyone he used to know: Alex, J’onn, Winn… Kara. What he didn’t expect was the way it would affect him.

It hurt.

The coldness. The distrust. The suspicion.

The confused looks. The pity looks. The angry looks.

He probably had it coming, though.

He couldn’t very well expect them all to welcome him with open arms, when he wasn’t being open himself. He was keeping too many secrets, telling too many lies. He was having a hard time distinguishing what was real and not anymore. He was lying to everyone, every single one of them. He was keeping the truth from people he’d once considered his family.

But Kara was his home.

And he could not lose his home again.

So… he had to keep up the act. Even when it broke his heart more and more each day.

He remembered that animated movie he’d watched with Kara in her loft one night. ‘Conceal. Don’t feel. Don’t let it show.’

He repeated the words in his head like a mantra. His old self would chuckle at that. Using a blonde ice princess as his new role-model. But he wasn’t that guy anymore. This Mon-El had a hard time finding enjoyment in anything.

This Mon-El had a hard time feeling happy.

As soon as he was sent away in that pod by Kara, his whole world spun out of its axis. Everything he knew –or thought he’d known– was gone. Just like that. He actually found it fascinating, in a sort of morbid way, how your entire life could disappear before your eyes in one quick snap of your fingers.

He entered the DEO lobby feeling apprehensive. Imra was not here at the moment, she was away on a reconnaissance mission with Querl. Therefore, he didn’t have her around to help settle his thoughts, to help calm his nerves, thus making it harder than ever to maintain the ruse.

One look at her comet-like eyes and he knew… he would break.

And he couldn’t allow that. So, he had to keep his distance. Ignore her. Avoid her. By any means necessary.

But it was so hard.

***

We might as well be strangers in another town We might as well be living in a different world We might as well…

We might as well…

He felt the atmosphere change drastically as he approached the round table in the middle of the room. The cheery chatter went silent and an awkward tension replaced it. He tried to move past it, smiling one of those fake smiles he’d come to master lately.

Luckily, the alert systems picking up on something granted him the opening he needed.

“What are we up against?” he asked no one in particular.

He wasn’t surprised that Winn was the one to answer him. “Bank robbery,” his friend explained with his eyes locked on the screen. “Same old, same old.”

“Do you need any help?” he offered his assistance to the Kryptonian to his left.

“I got this,” she replied without sparing him a second glance, before flying out of the room at super-speed.

Only one thought resonated in his mind: ‘I hope you do.’

Seventeen minutes later, he was blowing out some steam in the training room when he heard it. Her heartbeat. The most beautiful sound in the world to him. And it was getting closer.

Kara was coming.

He turned around as the door opened, catching a disgruntled Kara completely unawares. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were here,” she apologized meekly. Her lips set in a straight line, making it clear she didn’t want to be in the same room alone with him.

“That’s okay,” he murmured with a small smile and cleared his throat. “I was done actually, you can-”

“No,” she interrupted sharply. “You don’t get to do this!”

“Do what?” he asked genuinely confused, and inviting a real conversation with her for the first time.

“You don’t get to pretend like everything’s okay between us when it’s not. I’ve had it with you and your false niceties,” Kara stated. “We are not friends, Mon-El.”

He couldn’t help but wince at the truth of that statement. They weren’t just friends. They were so much more. They were soulmates.

“What do you want from me, Kara?” Mon-El whispered so softly, she might not have even heard it if it weren’t for her super-hearing.

Now that Kara was given the opportunity to confront him, she didn’t know that to say. ‘What did she want, exactly?’ But of course her Kryptonian pride would never let her admit she didn’t know the answer to that question. “You know what, Mon-El? Forget it!”

Something inside of him bristled at that. And before he knew what he was doing, his mouth was opening and uttering words he never wanted her to hear. “But that’s the problem! I can’t forget it!”

“What are you talking about?”Kara demanded.

Oh. He was going to regret this later.

“Do you think this was easy for me?” Mon-El said, his voice breaking with a vulnerability Kara hadn’t seen in a very long time. “Do you think it was fun for me getting trapped a thousand years into the future with no way to come back? Do you think I enjoyed knowing that everything I knew, everyone I knew was long gone by then? That you were long gone by then?”

Mon-El knows he’s about to reveal more that he should. That it’d be best if he kept his mouth shut. But he found the words just flowing out of his mouth. “I see the way you look at me, the way everyone looks at me. They all hate me,” he scoffs and then proceeds, “… which I guess shouldn’t be surprising since their loyalty was always towards you. I was just collateral damage.”

“Mon-El, that’s not true,” Kara tried to dissuade him, to no avail.

“Tell me Alex doesn’t wanna murder me every time she sees me or that Winn doesn’t feel guilty every time he talks to me. Tell me you are not judging me right now, because of what I did,” he chuckles mirthlessly. “All I did was to move on with my life, just like you would’ve wanted. I had to keep my promise to you, to be the man you believed I could be. I remember back in our adjoining cells at Cadmus, you’d told me you wanted Alex to keep living her life if something happened to you; so why when I do it is suddenly so wrong?”

Kara knew he was right. She was hurt because of his actions, but the truth was he’d done nothing wrong. She would’ve done the same thing if it had been her in his position. She would’ve kept on going, kept on living.

Her silence was answer enough. Qui tacet consentire videtur.

He said too much. Enough. He had to stop. Where was Imra when he needed her? Grife! He was in danger of telling Kara everything, he couldn’t allow that. He had to-

He couldn’t. Not anymore. 

“Seven years… seven years, Kara,” he uttered as if in excruciating pain. “I lived seven years in a world where I couldn’t afford the luxury of mourning. I had to keep fighting, and I did so, for you. I couldn’t allow myself to grief; I had to help keep the world spinning,” he took a deep breath before continuing, “I- I’m sorry, I truly am, because you have to believe the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. But don’t you dare judge me, Kara… Not when you have no idea what I went through. Not when you would’ve done the same.”

***

I don’t know your thoughts these days We’re strangers in an empty space I don’t understand your heart It’s easier to be apart 

“You’re right,” Kara admitted. “And yes, I would’ve done the same. I’m sorry that I’ve been so angry. I- I wasn’t angry with you, per se… I was angry and sad, but mostly angry at the whole situation, not you. It just- it’s not fair!”

“I stopped believing in fairness a long time ago,” Mon-El confessed with a far-away look in his steely blue eyes.

Something in his eyes made her soften towards him. Maybe friends was a bit too much to ask for, but perhaps they could find a way to work together again, like they used to. To be partners.

However, she needed to be able to trust her partner, and she couldn’t trust someone she didn’t know. And she most definitely didn’t know this new and improved version of Mon-El.

But she wanted to. 

“I don’t even know who you are anymore,” Kara whispered dejectedly, her baby blue eyes shining with undeniable sadness, and breaking the last piece of his heart that had remained intact up until that moment.

Mon-El of Daxam had been through his fair share of tragedies throughout his life.

The destruction of his home planet. Being stranded in a foreign world. Having to learn a whole new way of life. Falling in love, ending up losing said love.

Only to have to go through it all again the moment he got into that pod.

He had to lose her again. 

It was different that time though. There was nothing that could quite compare to losing her to death.

The first time around –when he was sent away– he’d been comforted by the thought that back in her time she was alive and safe. That she was happy. That she was living.

Knowing the love of your life dies a terrible painful death when there’s nothing you can do about it… that was another thing entirely.

That kind of pain was indescribable.

He knew what it felt like to lose her. He’d done it over and over again. And he couldn’t do it again.

He couldn’t lose her this time, so… if having her hate him was what it took to save her, he’d take her hatred gladly over the alternative.

That alternative was unthinkable. He just couldn’t go through it all again. He couldn’t shed another tear for her –he’d cried them all. He didn’t think he had the strength to get back up this time.

He was broken.

“That’s because you don’t,” Mon-El answered her mournfully. “I’m not the same man you sent off in that pod, Kara… You don’t- you wouldn’t understand.”

“Then, tell me…” Kara said. “Make me understand. Let me get to know you, this new you.”

Mon-El felt his perfectly constructed walls begin to crumble. “I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t think you’d like him,” Mon-El replied in defeat. “If you knew, Kara. If you knew the things I’ve seen, the things I’ve done. If you knew the man I’ve become…”

Hardened. Cold. Calculating.

Not like clueless lost puppy he’d once been.

Kara could see the pain in his eyes. She might not know this version of Mon-El, but deep down he was still her Mon-El. He was still the man she loved. And nothing could change that, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

“What happened?” Kara asked gently. “What happened that made you so scared?”

Mon-El thought of disregarding her question, he thought of deflecting the subject. But there was a part of him, the small part where the remnants of the old Mon-El still resided, that was just so tired. He didn’t want to push Kara away anymore. He didn’t want to fight her off another minute. He didn’t want to keep her at arm’s length any minute longer. He didn’t want to lie to her anymore.

He just wanted her.

She had said that the truth never hurt as much as secrets. But he wasn’t so sure.

He was convinced nothing could ever hurt him as much as this truth.

“You died,” Mon-El finally admitted. “Monday, June 18, 2018. Supergirl fights her final battle and is defeated by Reign. The world loses its last hope and it falls into an apocalyptic reign of terror. That’s what happened… you died–

“And I died with you.”

***

We might as well be strangers in another town We might as well be living in a another time We might as well… We might as well… We might as well be strangers Be strangers…

All the blockers Imra had placed inside his mind dissolved at those words. At the truth.

Without noticing, he was spilling every single thought he’d had for the past seven years –well, the seven years he was awake. He couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to. He felt like the weight of the worlds was finally being lifted off his shoulders.

He hadn’t felt as liberated as he did at that moment for what seemed like an eternity. And he guessed that might be so, twelve thousand years in stasis could be considered an eternity.

“So, you aren’t married to Imra, then?” Kara quizzically asked. Mon-El had to smile at that, out of all the information he’d just provided, including a highly trained team of alien superheroes and a battle that is destined to end in her demise, that tiny piece of information is what she chose to focus on.

“No, it was my ill-conceived plan to keep you away from me,” Mon-El explained half relieved and half ashamed. He felt the relief at admitting the truth to Kara, after everything his lie put them through. But also, he felt the shame at having lied to her in the first place, he knew Kara would never forgive his dishonesty. Either way, he knew he was going to lose her. And he could live with that, as long as she was safe.

“I once said I owed you a lot, but that most of all I owed you the truth. And the truth is… I wanted you to hate me. If you hated me, you wouldn’t ask too many questions –questions that would jeopardize my entire mission. I thought if you hated me… it wouldn’t hurt as much,” Mon-El added with a resigned look and his head hanging down, “I really should’ve known better, though… I can never hide the truth from you for too long.”

Kara gave him a small smile in return. “Yeah, you really should’ve known better,” she said and trapped her lips between her teeth. “Because no matter what… I could never hate you, Mon-El.”

A warmth akin to hope started to bloom in the Daxamite’s chest. Maybe –just maybe– they could do it. They could work things out. They could work together to save Kara. Maybe this change of plans wouldn’t be fatal. Maybe he didn’t have to do it alone. Maybe he didn’t have to lose her in the end.

Maybe they could have it all.

“Kara, I- I know I screwed up royally,” he apologized with heartfelt sentiment. “And I know things are not okay between us right now, that there’s a lot I need to make up for, but… do you think maybe we could at least work together again? You know, partners in crime, like old times, trying to keep the world spinning?”

“Partners?” Kara thought aloud. The word had a nice ring to it. She had never found someone to consider her equal before, until Mon-El. And he was right, their relationship was strained at the moment, but maybe they could start over.

And ‘partners’ was a good place to start.

“I’d like that,” she said, her blue eyes shining brightly with newfound hope –just like his were. “I’d like that very much.”

Things might not be okay between them right now, but Kara had a feeling they would be so. Soon.

“I promise you something, though,” Mon-El stated, that unfamiliar serious gaze adorning his features once again. “I will save you, Kara. No matter the cost, I will help you defeat Reign. I will keep you safe.”

Kara was taken aback for a second at the sheer willfulness of his declaration. She could see he meant every word. That he would anything to save her, without consideration to what the consequences may be.

A part of her was scared, another was touched.

Instead of questioning his reasoning, she decided to trust him. She had to trust him if they were going to accomplish this. So, she put all her faith on the man standing in front of her.

The echo of some words spoken in the past like a promise were loudly resonating in her mind: ‘As long as you’re safe.’

Only now was she beginning to comprehend the depth of their meaning.

Mon-El was keeping his promise to her.

But he couldn’t do it on his own.

“El mayarah,” the Kryptonian uttered her family motto. Stronger together. Never had those words felt so fitting like they did then.

She and Mon-El were stronger together.

“El mayarah,” the Daxamite repeated the phrase with a slightly different pronunciation. Sister planets had sister words. Different sound, same meaning. No longer strangers, but familiar to each other.

They were partners. Again –and for the first time.

And together they were going to defeat Reign.

Together, they were going to save the world.

For all I know of you now For all I know of you now For all I know of you now For all I know…

***

Somewhere hidden in the DEO, a Saturnian telepath was listening to that last part of their conversation and smiled a smug grin.

“See?” she said to the fellow Coluan alien standing next to her.

“I fail to comprehend your meaning. What do I see?” Brainy asked of his comrade. Irma rolled her eyes.

“I told you we needed to get them into a room together, just the two of them,” Imra explained enthusiastically. “I knew Boss would spill all the beans as soon as he was left alone with her.”

“You do realize you have just disobeyed a direct order from our leader,” he said disapprovingly. His twelfth-level intelligence didn’t allow for insubordination. “He will be angry at you.”

“Perhaps,” she shrugged her shoulders. “But it won’t last long. He’ll forgive me.”

“Only because you are his second in command,” Querl curtly replied. “If I were him, I’d trial you for treason.”

“Oh, Brainy! Don’t be so overdramatic!” Imra gave him her biggest grin. “It’ll all work out, I bet’cha. We’ll save Supergirl. And we’ll save the future.”

“I sure hope you are correct in your estimation.”

Failure was not an option.

Their mission was firmly imprinted in their brains–

Save Supergirl.

Save the world. 

finis. 

[onestowatch]

Berel Finds Patience on Soulful “The Blue Line” [PREMIERE + Q&A]

Deconstructing reality through the art of distraction, and learning the imperative nature of patience, are key elements felt on Berel’s newest visual, “The Blue Line.” The Los-Angeles based artist continues to trek through the soundscape of electro-soul and R&B, while pulling from sensory timestamps in his life for a sincere cut.

With roots hailing from Northern California, Berel’s encapsulation of each coast reflects seamlessly on his handful of singles. Earlier tracks such as “Simple” and “Nylon” peak with their golden-hushed tones and also speak to the artist’s balanced production, ranging from electronic to a more tangible instrumentation. And from these early offerings, and somewhat audible depiction on the color spectrum, there couldn’t be a better set-up for Berel’s upcoming EP, Thirteenth Floor, than through the scattered portrayal on “The Blue Line.”

The soul-lined track, which is nostalgically set to the last remains of the summer heat, takes heed of Berel’s torn lines: “My better half keeps crying asking how much time will pass.” Each stride is flushed from a contemporary and sliced production, courtesy of Aabo and Danny Dwyer, as Berel’s silky croons sentimentally wander. Drenched in a blue hue, Berel’s connection to loved ones, and to personal pursuits, becomes tangled on screen. What can be seen figuratively and literally, “The Blue Line” overall becomes a reminder to not let outside factors lead a person, but co-exist and walk alongside them.

Ahead of the Thirteenth Floor’s Sept. 24 release, we had a chance to briefly talk to the artist on the upcoming project and influences that impacted the sound.

OTW: “The Blue Line” video is finally out in the world, congrats. Now, the track took a smoother approach towards escaping “lost love” while the video’s color scheme and layout hits a little heavier.  Was this your original intent to play with?

Berel: I always have experiences outside of music pulling me in different directions. Instead of getting overwhelmed, the song to me is about ease and patience.

OTW: On that note, originally, you’re from the Bay Area, which to me is a little more apparent on your last track “No Complaints” – so how has living in Los Angeles affected your musical process, and songwriting in general?

Berel: Although I spent a lot of time in the Bay, I’m actually from a remote place in Northern Cali called Humboldt County.  Living in LA has been cool because there are so many creatives down here to bounce ideas off of and each day is an opportunity to make the most out of my livelihood and artist.

OTW: How excited are you to release your project, Thirteenth Floor, as you’re nearing closer to its release date?

Berel: The EP was the first time I had the chance to collaborate with so many different types of people and I’m just grateful for that experience. It’s all about the music, and yeah definitely, I’m beyond stoked.

OTW: Has this upcoming EP been a difficult journey? With “No Complaints,” “The Blue Line,” and your mention of finishing some tracks in an Airbnb (on Twitter), I figured you put a lot of yourself into the smallest details during this two-year span.

Berel: There were times that my patience ran thin, but the closer I got to the end, the more I believed in the project.

OTW: Any tracks off Thirteenth Floor that surprised yourself? More so not that you created it, but that you’re sharing it?

Berel: I’m happy to share this collection of songs, I think they sound great when you listen from front to back.  Everything on the record sounds like me, so I’m not really surprised, because this EP really feels like me.

OTW: You work very closely, and I should say frequently, with producer Aabo, and you can tell there’s a reciprocated spark between you two. How is that relationship as producer and songwriter during the creative process? 

Berel: Definitely, we’ve both been playing music since we were both youngsters, so it’s always been a big part of our lives. Aabo produces and we write songs together.  I really prefer making music with my friends anyways, but he’s more like a brother to me.

OTW: I read that you were “stuck” on Malibu by Anderson .Paak, which I absolutely agree that it’s one of the best albums of our time. When you hear timeless projects like that, as an artist what are takeaways and elements that you’d like to emulate?

Berel: I’ve read that .Paak has thousands of songs that we’ll never hear... I wanna be that way too. Timeless classics get made through a lot of trial and experimenting, which is my goal as I move forward.

OTW: Any new artists you’re currently being inspired by?

Berel: Channel Tres is a one-of-a-kind artist. The rawness and emotionality of Ama Lou’s voice is humbling. I’m also super inspired by an artist and producer named Mars Today, who I live with. His work ethic is uncanny. He produced a real work of art, Kyle Dion’s latest album, Suga (also very inspired by what he’s doing).

OTW: We’re almost nearing the end of another year. What has been your most memorable moment so far?

Berel: Moving to LA, by far.  I’ve always dreamt of doing since I was a kid, (but L.A. always felt so far from home). Love the music community down here.

OTW: Anything else you’d like to add?

Berel: Just, thank you to all the folks who have helped me along the way (there are so many and you know who you are), and shouts out to Ones To Watch for always bringing the quality music.  Be sure to look for my Thirteenth Floor EP which drops on Sept. 24, and find me on IG: @berel.music.

[flashzinee-blog]

GOTSHOTBYHER: YOUR NEW FAVORITE VIDEOGRAPHER.

We have a tendency of counting people out before they have the chance to see their light.  For Yamarie, aka Yams, her driving force has been her desire to hustle for hers and learn as she goes.  Having had a learning disability and leukemia while growing up, she’s come into her own as a visual artist with her focus on videography.  Yams talks to us about her artistry and the importance of never giving up.

F: What drew you to visual art? Y: I’ve always been into visual arts since kindergarten, you know when you start painting and drawing.  I think it’s because of colors, it just makes me happy. I got more interested in it around junior high school; in my family there’s nobody who’s into technology, or knows anything about technology.  So when I got to junior high school I had the opportunity to get my first laptop, a Toshiba. I started messing around with what it can offer me and found Windows Movie Maker, and I taught myself how to use it.  I thought it was cool and my family used to have me make them a picture slideshows and burn it onto a CD at the time.  First I started doing picture slideshows, then recording my own random videos.  I started learning Photoshop in high school; it was so complicated and still is! I just know the basics. When I got to college I majored in entertainment technology which is based on theatre work but you can use it towards any career in the entertainment industry. There, I learned specifically lighting and video.

F: Do you have any current artists that influence how you work? Y: I’d like to be the female version of Ivan Berrios, so I would say he influences me. I’ve actually met him, he’s a very nice dude, and very humbled. That’s where I’m trying to be.  His work is clean, original, and that’s the thing that I find is hard.  I try not to be on Instagram too much; even though I follow a lot of photographers and videographers I try to not be on there too much cause you end up picking up their editing style.  I don’t know my style yet, I’m just going with the flow.

F: When you begin a new project, do you plan it out thoroughly or do you let the wind take you wherever? Y: I try to plan.  I have this Instagram project, and it came to mind because I know a lot of music artists: a lot of rappers, pop artists, R&B artists, and I figured it’d be good to have a visual that’s under a minute of them singing, rapping, etc. I did it in hopes that they can gain more fans. I began reaching out to artists and told them what my project is about. If they said yes we’d meet up, take pictures and shoot the video. Once I post it up I include a bio of the artist, so that people can know a little bit about the artist before follow the them. Most of my photography is not planned, it’s more, ‘hey are you available? Let’s go to Queens and just shoot.’  I just work with whatever I have, if the artist is only here for a week and they go back to wherever they live you just gotta do it.

F: Do you feel that people put limitations on you because you’re a woman? Y: I feel like people don’t take me as serious.  I feel like there’s a lot of male known photographers, not too many female photographers or videographers that I know.  It’s hard, it’s hard to keep going.  There’s days where I just wanna sell all my equipment and do something else.  When you dream about something constantly it drives you more.  Since I graduated college in June of 2014, this year is my third year taking this serious, and I’ve done a lot.  I’ve met great people, I’ve networked.  So when I feel down I look at those achievements and remind myself, “I gotta keep going. I’ve invested too much money and time; I’ve done too much just to stop here.”

F: What’s been your favorite shoot so far? Y: I got the opportunity to shoot for Bad Boy’s Reunion Tour at the Prudential Center.  It was super cool because I remember taking it all in. Taking pictures for an artist I grew up listening to, it was fun and I’d love to do more.  It’s hard cause you gotta know people and let them give you the opportunity to shoot. I’ve tried being forward and saying, ‘here’s who I am, here’s what I can do for you,’ and I got ignored.  With this opportunity though, this guy has a clothing line called Never Not Working and I like his apparel.  I hit him up on Instagram and offered to shoot for the brand.  I didn’t even ask for anything beyond that and he offered me a ticket to the Bad Boy show.  I was in shock, I don’t have to pay for anything and just get myself there!?  What!?  That doesn’t happen often. There needs to be more people like him!

F: GotShotByHer has a ring to it, is there a back story on how the name came about? Y: I have a friend named Raul, and he wanted me to be his personal videographer.  It didn’t happen, but he was trying to give me names and came up with ShotByAGirl and I didn’t like how it sounded.  I know I’m a female but to me a girl sounds like a 13 year old, you know?  I’m 25 now.  So then I came up with GotShotByHer. it stuck to me because you ask yourself  ‘well, who’s her?’  It creates that mystery and opens that window to wanting to figure out who I am.  On my page you rarely see any pictures of me; maybe one here and another there.  I like it like that, I want to keep it a mystery to what I look like.

F: There aren’t many widely known Latina filmmakers, what do you hope to accomplish with your work? Y: For more Latina women to recognize their value.  It’s hard for us to get recognition, but we’re just like every other female.  We have goals, we have dreams.  I want to inspire more people; I realize some people won’t shout you out or support you.  Like, I’ll mention an artist on my Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook and want people to follow them.  I’m showing love, I’m putting my people on.  I feel like we should show more love to each other, it takes too much energy to hate and be two faced.

F: What are you speaking into existence for the rest of the year? Y: I wanna shoot more music videos this year, my longtime goal is to be a music video director.  I love, love music. which is why i love visuals,  because of the love i have for music. I want to get better at photography, Photoshop, shooting and editing better.  Just progressing.

F: Why do you do art? Y: I like capturing moments, I like how it makes the person feel.  If they feel more content with themselves or see themselves in a different perspective that they never seen before it makes me feel good.  It’s about helping people see themselves in a better light. Plus, I cant see myself doing something else.

F: What makes a FLASH girl to you? Y: Every time you say FLASH I think about the superhero!  A FLASH girl is a superhero; we’re strong, smart, sexy, beautiful, and determined. A female who is going to do whatever she has to do in order to get what she wants without nudity. Someone who's a hustler and proves people wrong. Getting your own without the help of anyone, just yourself.

find yams on instagram || twitter || vimeo