#it seems an attack but also kind of like jealousy? i don't get it man

[heavenknowsffs]

Wtf bro

[nalyra-dreaming]

I enjoy your blog and I’m not trying to be argumentative; just some friendly debate, but I notice you and Virginia both frequently reduce the entire Antoinette ordeal to Louis’ feeding habits and Lestat’s need for attention and adoration. Don’t you think Lestat had to have at least a little love for Antoinette? He had to love her on some level not to kill her right off the bat. This is apparent in the scene before Louis is playing cards before Doris tells him Jonah is there, Lestat is standing up close to the stage, completely entranced watching Antoinette perform like there is no one else in the room. Louis isn’t even present to make jealous. He slept with her and didn't kill her before Loustat was having serious problems like lack of intimacy. He stayed with her just as long as he stayed with Louis. I’m sorry, but I don’t think that man ever had any intention of being in a monogamous relationship.

Hey nonny!

(All good, you can be argumentative, as long as you're kind it's all fine, I just won't accept hate or insults anymore^^, hope that makes sense! Also, I really don't see that as argumentative^^)

I think @virginiaisforvampires and I just ... shorten the Antoinette discussion at times (by now) because it's been... a theme.

Like, the fandom latched onto the jealousy angle so massively, the asks wrt her were so numerous, the human cheating AUs on Ao3 so prevalent... the vampiric aspect seems to be often overlooked.

I think you're referring to my ask with the open relationship?

Because of course Antoinette was more.

(this is long, so the rest under the cut:)

She became more when he did not kill her as a feeding fling. (And I still stand by the fact that they must have had a lot of feeding flings, for example Louis is not really taken aback by soldiers in their bedroom - the same bedroom he gets so sharp about with Antoinette, which is another detail.)

So yes, Lestat apparently slept with her and didn't kill her. We don't get to see it, but it is insinuated.

But there is a lot more to Antoinette, and that is why some think she might show up again later. I am not sure if you're familiar with "the musician" from IWTV, "Antoine" from the later books?

Let me recap:

In IWTV we have the unnamed "musician". Louis never bothers to find out his name, even though it is clear that Lestat turns him. That unnamed musician then gets into the crossfire of Claudia's attempt on Lestat's life, and Louis... forgets about him. But he did know about him from the beginning:

"Lestat had a musician friend in the Rue Dumaine. We had seen him at a recital in the home of a Madame LeClair, who lived there also, which was at that time an extremely fashionable street; and this Madame LeClair, with whom Lestat was also occasionally amusing himself, had found the musician a room in another mansion nearby, where Lestat visited him often. I told you he played with his victims, made friends with them, seduced them into trusting and liking him, even loving him, before he killed. So he apparently played with this young boy, though it had gone on longer than any other such friendship I had ever observed." [..] "I could not tell whether he had actually become fond of a mortal in spite of himself or was simply moving towards a particularly grand betrayal and cruelty. Several times he’d indicated to Claudia and me that he was headed out to kill the boy directly, but he had not. And, of course, I never asked him what he felt because it wasn’t worth the great uproar my question would have produced. Lestat entranced with a mortal! He probably would have destroyed the parlor furniture in a rage."

(Interesting tidbit about the rage, which they picked up for the show!)

Louis even encounters Antoine, has a bit of a discussion with him after the initial attack on Lestat:

‘What is it?’ I asked him. ‘What did you need from him? I’m sure he would want me to...’ “ ‘He was my friend!’ He turned on me suddenly, his voice dropping with repressed outrage.

This last bit is important, for the later books, most importantly for "Prince Lestat", which we know Rolin takes from. Because in that book, in chapter 7, we find out what happened to "the musician", Antoine, after that fateful night, when Rue Royale burned (in the book).

Because Antoine did not burn to death (in the show, likely: Louis and Claudia did not know to scatter the ashes), and he survives, hideously burned, needing decades to heal. Lestat reunites with him before he chases after Louis and Claudia (to Europe).

When Antoine later tells of his own story, he says this:

“He was my friend, Lestat,” Antoine confessed. “He told me about his lover, Nicolas, who had been a violinist. He said he couldn’t speak his heart to his little family, to Louis or Claudia, that they would laugh at him. So he spoke his heart only to me.”

There is a LOT in that little paragraph. A lot that fits with what we know from the show, too.

Louis (in the show) tells of Lestat saying that "Antoinette fortifies him against them". Antoinette became more than a passing interest, a passing feeding fling, true, because Lestat can confide in her, can be himself with her, especially later, when things between him and Louis take on a strain. But he never leaves Louis, and I think that is often overlooked - (s)he was never a real threat to Louis, nor Claudia. Lestat left Antoine behind when he goes after them, to try to save them.

Louis on the show makes it seem as if Antoinette was that major threat. And the show (of course^^), sharpened that threat by making Antoine a woman, a white woman, whose very presence represented what Louis could not be in their relationship at the time, namely an official partner.

Louis uses the focus on Antoinette and what she represents to overshadow other things that coincide with the affair. He does the same later, when they are threatened, to shift the focus to Lestat's paranoia. It's clever, because it's built on truth, a "look at my right hand, not at my left" approach. But the real story is much more difficult than that.

And I think that goes for Antoine(tte) as well.

Since Rolin is specifically taking from "Prince Lestat" as well there is no way in hell he has somehow missed reading chapter 7, or has missed Antoine in the later books/chapters.

I for one wouldn't be surprised if she shows up at the trial - or in Dubai. Maybe she's that interior designer, who knows that Louis is missing the natural world....

I don't know. We'll see. But I doubt that the jealousy angle is all there is to it. There are too many discrepancies, even down to the make-up they used for her (which is its own meta). Lestat may have very well loved her, albeit differently than he loves Louis.

As for the monogamous relationship(s)...

Nonny, forgive me, but these are not humans. They are vampires.

They hunt, and kill humans, for food and pleasure. They play with their food, like other predators in our world do, too. They are also inherently hedonistic, looking for pleasure. (Maybe) Especially Lestat is trying to drown himself in the pleasurable things at times, for reasons that the show will still get to. Since the show explicitly added sex to the mix that desire is of course expressed in the hunt for pleasure, too.

But totally apart from "food", and sex... these vampires are a mess, relationship-wise.

When Lestat and Louis are "married" in the later books as Jacob calls it (I bet they'll make that literal in the show^^), that doesn't mean that they don't still love others. Have loved others. Will love others. They are beyond the need to narrow down their love though. And they are "official partners" then.

But it's... a knot of relationships and history.

Some of these people are truly immortal. Like, can not be killed anymore.

Imagine living with that fact (it maybe most famously sends Lestat reeling in "The tale of the Body Thief", for example).

Imagine loving with that fact. Imagine having the time.

[frenziedslashers]

Why Can't You Be Mine Already?

A/N: This is based on the idea that @joelsgeetar gave me! This was going to be multiple parts, but I suck at those so I just made it one for now. I hope to do a multi-chapter rick fic someday though :)) Sorry if this isn't the best either. Kind of started losing brain fuel halfway through 😭 Also tagging @catt-leya because they asked to be tagged :)

Pairing: Rick Grimes x GN!Reader

Request: What about Rick crushing on reader? How would he act? Would he confess? Would he show any jealousy? Does he get overly protective? Is he crazy like shane? (Bad joke). Fr I wanna know how this man is when he is IN LOVE. Bonus points if reader is a lil younger and related to Daryl. 😏

Warnings: Jealousy, possessiveness, MENTIONS OF CANON TYPICAL VIOLENCE AND BRIEF MENTIONS OF THE BIKER THAT SA'd CARL!!! mutual masturbation at the end, that's really it tbh.

REQUEST INFO || TWD MASTERLIST

The sun hit your skin just perfectly. Making you glow like no one he'd ever seen before. He couldn't take his eyes off you, he never could.

"Rick," his head turned when he heard the familiar voice behind him. A welcoming smile graced his lips as Maggie came to stand behind him. "Y'starin' at them ain't gonna make them kiss ya any sooner," she teased her friend, noticing how his face flushed a little darker. Smiling at the way he ducked his head down, bashfully. "I know," he muttered. Everyone knew that Rick had these feelings for you, but he was so scared to act on them. After everything with Lori, he was afraid he might lose you. Or he might not love you the same. Or- "why don't you tell 'em?" God, he wished it was that easy.

He felt like he had sunk further into the ground he stood on as he thought. His mind racing with thoughts while his thumbs were hooked on his belt loops. "Maggie.." He muttered under his breath. "It ain't that easy. After Lori..." He frowned, and she nodded. "I understand, but sooner or later they're going to move on from you. Just gotta do like Glenn and me, we didn't waste no time." She added with a cheeky grin. "Which reminds me, Glenn wanted me to ask you if you could help him with the walkers on the fence? I gotta help Beth and Daddy with some things." He nodded, looking over to the Greene girl, "Yeah, 'course."

That was months ago, now. He still hadn't opened up to you. He was going to, but it seemed like every time he wanted to tell you the moment wasn't right. The outbreak inside the prison happened. Then Woodbury happened, then they attacked and everyone was left running. He wasn't even with you when everyone ran. You were stuck hiding in the forest, searching the nearest areas for survivors with Michonne. Not that you were complaining, you knew that she would protect you and you would do the same for her. She was a friend.

"So," she muttered, fingers grabbing at her sword to pull it out of the holder. "You and Rick, what are you?" She asked, decapitating a walker with a swift movement of her sword. You truly admired what she did. It was a talent you wished you had. "Friends, I guess?" She laughed at that, shaking her head before putting her sword back. "I see the way he looks at you, how Daryl tries to pull you away from him. I don't think he thinks you're just friends." She quipped, and you felt your palms go sweaty, eyes darting to the side while you scoffed. Trying to cover up how embarrassed you felt.

You shook your head, strolling next to her down the street. "No way, I'm too young for him. He's ten years older than I am, why would he like me?" She shrugged, "I don't know, but he does. He cares about you a lot. When the Governor attacked, he was quick to put you behind himself. To order you to run even though you stayed to fight. He cares," She smiled over at you, and you shrugged. You wanted the subject changed, looking around the street until you noticed an empty can. "Look, what's that?" You asked, the both of you lurking forward. Eyes looking around for any sign of danger until you both reached the can of.. pudding? It still had wet pudding inside of it as well. Looking at it, then at each other, and finally, at the house next to you both and the can.

Michonne was the first to head up the steps. Her sword ready, you holding the hunting knife Daryl had given you for your birthday so many years ago - who knew it would be this handy?

Her stiff stance made your furrow your brows. Cocking your head with a slight frown. "What is it?" You asked once noticing the tears rolling down her face. Stepping up to the window to peek through the boards when she stepped to the side. Seeing Carl and Rick was the best feeling you could have felt. Your heart burned with excitement as you looked at your friend and the both of you stepped up to the door.

The stiff knocks at the door had the father and son scurrying to their feet. Looking at each other while readying their weapons. Rick gulped before ordering Carl to step behind him. Holding his revolver to his side while peaking through the peek hole in the door. It was Michonne, and you.

Even after all of that Rick only greeted you with a smile and a tight hug, which he quickly departed from. It was frustrating for both of you. Mostly yourself. The mixed feelings you got from the man were torturous, and you could tell Michonne was just as annoyed by Rick's actions. The four of you decided to stay back for a while. At least until Rick healed up enough for you all to leave. Or so you hoped. A group of men chased you all out of the safety of the house after sneaking in while Rick slept in the upstairs bedroom.

"Rick," you muttered to the man, breath hitching when his knuckles grazed the back of your hand and his shoulder bumped against your own while you all walked the train tracks. Hoping to find others from the prison. "Yeah?" He asked, drawl strong in his voice. You opened your mouth to say something, but you didn't even know what you wanted to say. Pursing your lips while focusing on the scenery in front of you. Rick kept his eyes on you until you spoke. "I'm glad you're okay," he felt his heart stutter at those words. His stomach clenched when you reached and gently grabbed his hand with your own. His eyes met yours as you turned your head to look up at him, smiling. "I'm glad you're safe, too." He hummed with a smile, giving your hand a light squeeze. The both of you continue down the road like this.

It seemed like nothing could go easy for the four of you. Further down the road, you just happened to stumble upon the Biker gang that Rick just so happened to kill one of their men back at the house you all reunited at. You held your ground as they lurked forwards and threatened you all, but you froze up when you saw Daryl. Your older brother pushing forward and shouting that you were all off limits. "Daryl," you spoke, and the leader smirked, giving you a once-over while licking his teeth. "That your lover?" Daryl scoffed at his words, "No, I'm their older brother, what are you, sick?" Daryl asked with a scowl. The gaze darkened when he noticed the way the biker looked you over. The hunter was thankful for Rick who pushed both you and Carl behind him.

The fight was a lot, to say the least. You were drenched in blood, having stabbed the man that pushed you against a car with your knife. Michonne shook out of anger while standing over another body. Daryl looked you over to make sure you were safe. You were more worried about Carl though, once Daryl knew you were safe, he was, too. You all were. The boy crying while holding onto his dad like if he let go the man would get him again. You gave Rick a sympathetic glance, offering a weary smile, to which Rick nodded. Face covered in blood after biting into the leader's throat.

Further down the road only seemed to get worse, too. One event after another seemed to happen, but Rick was there to save you. Again and again. Whether it be from Walkers or the hellish communities you all came across. He wasn't losing you. He never would, not on his watch at least.

It wasn't until you all reached Alexandria that you were all able to relax. You especially found joy in the little community. Bonding with a couple of the people within the walls. Joining your brother when he would go over to Aaron and Eric's house - you especially liked their company. Daryl seemed to as well, you could tell.

You had been so focused on hanging out with some of the new people that you hadn't even noticed the way Rick stared at you each time he caught you with someone he didn't know. The way his eyes lingered on you with longing eyes; with want. It hurt seeing you with other people, and he couldn't help but think about what Maggie told him all those months ago. "Sooner or later they're going to move on from you." Maybe she was right, and this was it. He was slowly losing you from his grasp. You weren't as wrapped around his finger as you used to be - or at least he didn't think you were.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" Rick muttered to you, grabbing your arm to ensure you wouldn't walk away from him. You noticed the look of worry and dread in his eye. Smiling softly while nodding. "Yeah, is everything all right?" He shrugged, motioning for a more private area. "Just.. Come on." He muttered, and you nodded, following him into the house.

He stood in front of you, but he didn't look at you. Both of you standing in the living room, his eyes fixated on the wall beside you. "Rick," you frowned, "what's wrong? You're scaring me," you added with a lighthearted chuckle. He finally looked at you, but his expression hardly changed. He still looked just as distraught. "I don't like you hanging out with Spencer," you furrowed your brows, confused as to where he was coming from. "I was just helping him out with some stuff." "I don't care, I don't like the way he looks at you," and you scoffed. You couldn't believe what he was saying to you.

A part of you was relieved that he still seemed to care, but that part of you was small. You were more annoyed and pissed than anything. Crossing your arms over your chest with a glare. "Why do you care?" You spat, and he winced at your tone. His own glare settled in his eyes. "Because I care, why do ya gotta be so damn stubborn?" Two could play at this stupid game. "Yeah? Well then you have to stop hanging out with Julie or whatever her name is." You shot back, and he looked taken back.

"What?" He asked in disbelief. "That blond chick, don't act like you don't know who I'm talking about. You see a damsel in distress and you go running to them. If you can make rules for me, I'll make rules for you too, Rick." He went back to staring beside you, but not for too long. Eyes snapping back to yours with a look you couldn't quite place. "Her names Jessie," "Do I look like I give a fuck?" He grinned, chuckling. "You act like you do." You rolled your eyes again, leaning back against the wall. "Oh please, don't act like you weren't just telling me to stop helping Spencer." You added, tilting your head, and his eyes stared. Flowing down to your lips, your neck... God, he wanted you so badly.

You caught his staring, smirking a little. "Deal?" He sighed, eyes tracing back up to yours. "Fine," you smiled, patting his chest, before pushing past him. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go help Daryl with some stuff." He nodded, watching you leave. His eyes scanning over your body and wishing he would have just pulled you in for a kiss.

This went on for days longer, and it only seemed to get worse. You would catch him still talking with Jessie, so you'd talk to Spencer out of retaliation. Only pissing the former Sheriff off more. "I thought we had a deal!" He shouted, and you sniggered, "we did! But you broke it talking with Jessie yesterday! Don't act like I didn't see you, you asshat!" He looked genuinely hurt at the name-calling, and you almost felt bad. Almost.

"Jesus Rick! What are we even doing?" You hissed, and he stayed quiet. "What are we?" You snapped, but he had no idea how to answer that. "I don't know," he muttered, and you sighed, shaking your head before heading for the door. "Come find me when you figure out what the hell it is you do want, Rick. You don't find me soon, I'm gone," you muttered, the last bit of your phrase dripping with a hint of disappointment. You almost sounded, sad? He wasn't sure, all he knew was that he hated that tone in your voice, and the upset look in your eye as you stormed out. He was left standing there again, for the second time. Just this time it hurt him a lot more.

Daryl was the only person Rick could think about talking this out with. Dragging his feet to where he knew the hunter would be. Sitting in the workshop drinking a beer while fixing up his bike. "Hey," he muttered after the man when he realized he was just where he assumed. "You blew it, didn't ya?" Daryl asked without looking up from his work, and Rick furrowed his brow. The silence caused him to look up, shaking his head. "Don't act like I didn't know. I been their brother forever, Rick. I know when they like someone and I know when you like someone," he added, looking back down to what his hands were doing. "Everyone does," he muttered under his breath with a breathy chuckle.

Rick had no idea what to say, hands hanging awkwardly at his sides before pulling them up to cross over his chest. "Well, uh... Do I have your permission to ask them out? We had a fight, and they asked me what we were, I said I don't know." Daryl shrugged. "Rather it be you than any of the preppy pretty boys in this shit-hole." He added, looking up at Rick with a smile. "No promises they don' bite, though." Rick smiled, laughing lightly at that. Glancing down before his eyes met Daryls again. Noticing how his stare seemed to darken. "No promises I ain't gonna beat the shit outta ya if ya hurt 'em, too." He snarled, and Rick nodded. "I understand, I won't. You have my word," Daryl nodded. "Ya better go find 'em before they fuck the Monroe kid t'get back at ya." Rick rolled his eyes at Daryl's words, but he understood. Thanking the man before he turned to wander off and find you.

It took him nearly twenty minutes before he discovered where you were. Walking up to where you sat near the pond in town. Sitting next to you with a sigh. "Hey," you hardly acknowledged him. Rick ached, not realizing how much he loved your smile that always greeted him anytime he spoke to you. "Look, I'm sorry 'bout everythin', I just got worried 'bout you. I know you can handle yourself," he muttered, hands resting on the ground beside him, legs resting in front of him. "I just.." He sighed, "I care about you, a lot more than I'm comfortable with." You kept your gaze in front of you but listened to everything he said. "I was just so scared that I was losing you here, every time I looked you were with someone new. Chatting away, smiling, and don't get me wrong. I love seeing you happy, S'one of my favorite things, but..." He paused again, sighing as he raked his brain for words. "I hated that you stopped talking to me as much. I wanted it to be me makin' you smile like that. Me who you ran around with and laughed with." He ducked his head down. "It's stupid, now that I say it out loud." He chuckled, and you shook your head, smiling softly as you reached to grab his hand.

Rick's head jerked to look down at your hand. Smile slowly spreading to his lips as he looked up to meet your eyes. His gaze was soft, speaking all the words he wanted to say. "I like you too, Rick Grimes," you spoke, and he smiled more. "That mean Spencer's out of the picture?" You hummed, teasing him by pretending to think, even though you knew the answer was 'yes'. It was always yes. "Yeah, only if Jessie is too." He snickered, bringing his arm to wrap it around your shoulders, leaning his head on top of yours. "She never was in the picture," he commented before you both fell quiet again.

"S'a pretty view." He stated, and you smiled, "Yeah, it is," you sighed, "Think sleeping would be a nicer view," you chuckled, and he nodded, his own body screaming for him to go to bed with how late it was. "Wanna lay with me?" He asked, and you smirked, "No promises I won't keep ya up," he chuckled, shifting so he could stand up and pull you up to your feet as well. "Well, we better get there fast so we aren't up any later than we gotta be." He cooed, staring down at your lips with a soft hum. You didn't stand long enough for him to be able to kiss you, though. Pulling him off towards the house.

His eyes were on you the whole time. Watching your body as he drug behind you. Just the thought of lying next to you got him hot and bothered. Cursing himself mentally for how much you turned him on. For how touched deprived he really was. If anything, the hand-holding wasn't helping the tent that slowly grew in his pants. Growing more and more uncomfortable with each step. All he could think about was your hand compared to his, and how his dick would feel in your hands.

The second that door to the bedroom closed behind you both, he was shoving you up against the wall. A hiss leaving your lips at the force of his actions. "Shit, Rick," you hummed with a smirk, "You want me bad, don't ya?" He only grunted in response, mouth moving straight to your own. "Wanted ya for a while," he murmured against your lips, caging your body with his own. His breathing only hitched when your fingers snaked into his hair and pulled. God, he forgot how much he loved that feeling. Pressing his body against you while kissing you with force.

He was quick to move down to your neck. Kissing and nipping, leaving hickeys in order to make sure that Spencer and everyone else that looked at you got the message that you were his. The noises you made from the action were just a plus. His hands pawed and groped at your skin before hastily working on removing the clothing from your upper body. He was far from gentle when he did this. Ripping and tugging at the fabric. "Jesus, you dick," you huffed out, "Lucky this isn't my favorite shirt," you scoffed, and he chuckled, pulling his own shirt over his head.

You were quick to shut up at the other's exposed skin. Both of you eating each other's figures up. Hands roaming in order to map the other's bodies. Both of you found where the other seemed to like to be touched the most. It was your turn to leave marks, though. Pushing him towards the bed while your mouth latched onto his collarbone. Kissing and sucking while pushing him down onto the bed. Climbing over him so you were straddling his lap with a grin. Leaving a mess of hickeys on his neck that showed the shape of a heart. Pulling back to admire your work and the panting mess that Rick had become underneath you. "There, now no one's gonna be takin' you from me either." You snickered, and he smirked. He loved feeling owned just as much as he loved feeling like he owned you now, in a sense.

He was quick to grab at your thighs when you ground down against him, a growl leaving from behind his teeth while he clenched his jaw. Watching as you repositioned your legs so you were between his thighs. Smirking at the curious glint in his eyes, and the way his face seemed to turn even more red than before.

"What're you- fuck!" He snarled, bucking into your hand as you palmed him through his jeans. His head fell back with parted lips. He was beautiful. "Just let me take care of ya, Rick," you cooed, and he nodded, "Fuckin' hell, just take m'jeans off, please." he pleaded, and it was like music to your ears. "Anything for you, baby," you teased, trailing kisses over his chest while undoing his pants. Working quick since you were just as eager as he was. Daryl was right, too. You did bite, but Rick wasn't complaining in the slightest. If anything, it just had him eager for more. Hands grabbing eagerly at the back of your head when you leaned down to pull him in for another kiss.

His lips parted when you finally undid his jeans and reached past his boxers for his dick. His hips bucked into your hand when your thumb brushed over his tip. "Fuck, feels so good," he blurted, and you smiled, hand working up and down his shaft after spitting into your own palm while he became a panting and grunting mess below you. Biting his bottom lip to do his best to stay quiet. "Shit, wanna fuck you so bad," he murmured, and you hummed, feeling your stomach knot up at the thought. "Really? Why can't I fuck you?" He shuddered at the thought, growling into the kiss he pulled you in for.

Rick was grabbing at your jeans while you continued jerking him off. Calloused hands pulling your pants down enough so he could reach down into your own boxer to touch you. Pulling away from the kiss to spit on his own hand and give you the same treatment. His hand reached down your undergarments in order to grab you. Your hips thrust into his hand at the contact. "Shit, Rick," you hissed, and he smirked, though it quickly faded. Furrowing his brows with a groan when you squeezed his shaft.

The both of you touched each other until you were both reaching your highs. Rick was the first to go, and you followed shortly after. Fluids covering each other's hands. Rick panted while pulling his jeans off the rest of the way in order to feel more comfortable in the bed. Watching as you did the same.

"Shit, haven't felt that good in ages," you murmured, and he chuckled, nodding his head. "Neither," he lazily spoke. Eyes feeling even heavier than when you were both sitting at the pond. He still brought himself to stand up, though. Throwing his legs over the side of the bead to head for the bathroom. Coming back with a towel in order to wipe the both of you down. Giving you a chaste kiss while tossing the towel back toward the bathroom. Settling when it hit the tiles right at the entrance before climbing back into bed next to you. "Next time we're more awake, maybe we can do more than just that," he murmured into the side of your head as he pulled you close. A small hum left your own throat as you lazily draped yourself over him. "Definitely, not lettin' ya go now," he smiled, "You're just as stuck with me."

[22degreehalo]

Okay I finished the movie. (Spoilers follow!)

I liked the parts about Barbie as an actual doll. I liked the ending! It was fun and creative and had some real emotion to it!

I didn't... enjoy the portrayal of gender.

The movie just really does not seem to want to face up to the idea that in the Barbie world, women are the privileged class. They hold all positions of power and property. Barbie doesn't even know where the men live?

Yes, it's all deliberately weird and surreal. But it's all just too weird and surreal to relate much to the real world. The climax relies on assuming that the barbies would essentially relate perfectly to a random real-world woman, which... even if it were true that all women IRL can relate to each other, their life experiences are just way too different.

(Yes, the patriarchy got introduced into Barbie land! But... how??? It's very hand-waved. Why would the privileged class suddenly completely turn the system 180 just because a guy came by with some books? It almost feels like a reverse-racism thing...?!)

And then, in the end, the kens still aren't treated equally. The movie jokes that 'someday' they'll have as much power as women IRL. But... we literally just spent the last hour exploring how shitty women have it. So now the kens have it even worse than that. And that's okay?

Again: it's meant to be dumb and silly. But we're also supposed to suspend our disbelief and live in this world for two hours. And the world just doesn't really jive with the tone. The more you think about it, the more you treat it as a real place, the less sense it makes. It only works if you laugh off the kens as just privileged white guys just because they resemble them.

Which, also! The movie in the end tries to be comforting to men and say that they don't need to be defined by their girlfriends or whatever! Which is actually a good message IRL: for too many men, being able to Date A Woman really is treated as the ultimate arbiter of human worth! (It... makes little sense in the world, where it seems like the kens really do need to rely on the barbies? But. see above.)

Except the entire way through, the idea of men having feelings is mocked and laughed off. Like I said, they imply that a gender non-conforming man would have absolutely 0 reason to fear violence at the hands of other men, which is... completely detached from reality?! Everything a stereotypical 'man' might care about is treated as being not really all that good, men's fears of abandonment or failure are eye-rollingly chalked up to 'egotism' (again, despite the status of the kens in this world), and when Ken cries at the end, it's presented as humiliating, as opposed to the dignified crying Barbie does on multiple occasions.

To be clear: I am not accusing the movie of misandry. I'm accusing the movie of being excessively cruel towards men who do not fit the stereotypical image of 'masculine', and then also being kind of pointlessly mean at those who do, as well.

Like, in the climax, one of the ultimate scenes of 'female empowerment' has the barbies pretend to listen while the kens play the guitar at them ('Push' by Matchbox 20, which is a good song IMO??? But it's treated as like. Objectively bad.), only to deliberately check their phone to show they don't care, then get up and talk to another man instead. And all of this is framed as, like 'playing on their petty egos and jealousies.' And not as like... them opening up? To someone they like? And trying to do something nice? And then being hurt when they don't feel the connection they wanted?

(Also men getting angry at other men, or staging a 'war', is treated as entirely petty and silly and kinda funny. Just an 'own goal', so to speak. Which, again, feels very insensitive when men... do in fact violently attack other men over reasons like jealousy.)

(Also also it's treated as super arrogant when a man tries to help out a woman who is literally saying aloud that she doesn't understand and wants help??? Because it's soooo offensive to think a woman can't do something she says she can't do??? even though the end of the movie is all about how women shouldn't have to be perfect and should be allowed to be just normal and not really good at anything???? I'm so confused.)

It's just... such a weird mix of a genuinely fun and creative campy setting, which then mixes in the most weirdly tone-deaf and old-fashioned gender essentialism possible. It tries to be progressive at the end, but the setting is already so stuck in those ideas (that inverting gender power dynamics would be really good actually since women are better in power, that men don't have any real legitimate reason to have emotions so it's weird and dumb if they do) that it doesn't track. It doesn't match the actual events of the movie.

It's not just an empty popcorn movie. Frankly, it'd be a lot better if it was!!!!!!! (At least for me, hahah.) It's best appreciated, honestly, if you do turn your brain off and just enjoy the pretty visuals and the nice moments at the end. Which is sad. Because it clearly does try to do so much more than that! But all those attempts just... make the movie more confused and weird and kind of mean?

Basically, the movie tries to do a whole 'haha what if we switched the power of the genders' but then still wants to treat all of the men like they're privileged white guys, even though there's 0 worldbuilding reason for that to be justified. (Plus also it has the typical 'wacky misandry' problems of being incredibly shitty to GNC and disabled men. but like I just expected that literally always nowadays.)

So yeah uhhh. unfortunately I gotta say that I don't really agree with those 'lollllll men hate this movie even though it literally just says that they're okay by themselves and don't need to base their worth on women!!!!!' like YEAH but it also implies some pretty. questionable stuff about oppression and mental health and how much we should respect men who have ~delicate fragile emotions~ too.

[dialovers-lover-xoxo]

Reiji's Relationship Alphabet

Not nsfw, just under a cut because it's long

Alphabet Credit: @snk-warriors

❌ TW: Mention of drugging ❌

------------------------------------------

A - Activities (What activities do you do as a couple with him?)

Reiji's actually very fond of animals in the visual novels so I can see him volunteering at animal shelters with his partner and/or taking care of the animals in the woods. He'll also allow you to assist him with experiments by holding things. If you gain enough of his respect and prove you're capable, he may even let you do experimentation (with his supervision)

B - Beauty (What physical attribute do they admire about you?)

He loves your face and legs and he often finds himself staring at them

C - Comfort (How would they comfort you when you're upset or having a panic attack?)

The first time you had a panic attack he drugged you so you'd calm down and fall asleep. Definitely not the right way to maneuver this situation, but this man knows a lot about drugs and very little about comforting others so it seemed like a good idea to him at the time. After that, he took careful notes of all your triggers and careful notes of everything that helped you calm down. He'll speak soothingly to you and hold you against his chest while you two lay in bed (if you want physical comfort, if not he won't touch you until you're ready to be touched again)

D - Dreams (Do they picture a future with you? What does that future look like?)

Yes, he absolutely sees a future with you. You as his spouse with two children. Taking care of animals, helping him with his experiments, playing with the kids.

E - Equal (Are they dominating/dominant in the relationship or passive?)

Very dominant. If he tells what to do, you will be obedient to him otherwise you will be punished. Though he loves and respects you, he still sees himself as superior and therefore demands you being unconditionally submission.

F - Fight (Do they forgive easily? How do they fight?)

Fights don't often happen because he is very strict with making sure you're submissive to him. Disagreements may happen in which case he will be thoroughly convinced he is right and you are being foolish. Later on in the relationship if he sees .your intelligence and respects you more, he may listen to your side and come up with a compromise.

G - Gratitude (How grateful are they in general? How do they show their gratitude?)

Despite his pridefulness and how he feels superior to you, Reiji is not above thanking you should you assist him, from helping him overcome the trauma of his past to simply helping him take notes during an experiment. He will voice it and also thank you by returning favors.

H - Honesty (Do they share everything with you? If they do keep something from you, why?)

Reiji is very honest, and he values being honest above sparing feelings. However if you're currently upset about something or sick or anything like that, he will wait until after you're in a better place before giving you bad news (assuming the news isn't urgent) Even if he's under no obligation to tell you and you don't need to know, he believes in being truthful and open and sharing everything with your partner. He expects the same from you.

I - Inspiration (Did they get inspired to change by you? How do?)

While centuries of bitterness and hatred can't exactly be completely gotten rid of, with kindness and showing him Shu's side of the story, you may just be able to inspire him to try and understand Shu and work towards having a better relationship with him

J - Jealousy (Do they get jealous easily? How do they act when they're jealous?)

He is jealous. If he gets jealous he'll just glare at you and then pull you away to scold you. He will have you tell whoever you were talking to that you are Reiji's

K - Kiss (Are they a good kisser? What are their kisses like? What was the first kiss like?)

Very gentlemanly kisses. The first kiss was in the woods, surrounded by cute animals. He gently folded you in his arms and kissed you softly on the mouth. In private and as your relationship progresses he will add tongue. It is very very rare you have those super fast intense rom-com kisses, he finds them sloppy and undignified. His kisses are slow and deep.

L - Love Confession (What was their love confession like?)

One of the very few times he's blushed around you, he told you he was starting to have feelings for you. He fought these feelings for a long time. But he fell for you.

M - Marriage (Do they want to get married? How would they propose?)

Yes, definitely. It would be in his office, amid lit candles. He would bend on one knee and ask you to marry him.

N - Nicknames (What do they call you as a term of endearment? Where did the nickname come from?)

Perhaps "honey" but more likely it's something to do with your name

O - On cloud 9 (What are they like in love? Can other people tell?)

Before you came into his life, he basically did chores and plotted bringing his mother back so he could kill her in a painful way. He was bitter and miserable. He had goals and aspirations but they were tainted with anger and trauma, not with a desire to fulfill happiness. With you, he is so much happier and freer. Those angry negative emotions he felt all the time don't quite grip him like they used to. Maybe they're still there, but you make them fade into background noise and when you're around, they fade completely. He's a stoic man who doesn't share him emotions, so it's not like his brothers will see him smiling at nothing but they know how happy you make him because anytime he's yelling at Shu or scolding Subaru and you walk in his eyes soften and his mood improves. The brothers have taken advantage of this to get out of being scolded/punished.

P - PDA (Are they shy or upfront about their relationship with you? Will they kiss in public?)

Reiji believes intimacy and romantic displays of affection should be private. He's very passionate in private but in public he'll do little more than kiss your cheek and hold your hand.

Q - Quirk (Something random about them that's beneficial in a relationship)

He's really great at medicine and taking care of people when they're sick, he's so kind and comforting and has amazing remedies to help you feel better whenever you're sick or injured

R - Romance (How romantic are they?What is their idea of romance like?)

While a lot of the time you two are just side by side with occasional kisses and voicing your affection, he will make time for romance. He will set up romantic dinners and have his familiars help him. Candles, romantic music. He also gives you dancing lessons and waltzes you around and it's very romantic

S - Support (Do they help you reach your goals? Do they believe in you?)

It'll take some work to have him see you as a capable person, but he will believe in you and support you as long as your goals don't leave him feeling inferior in some way

T - Thrill (Do they like trying new things in a relationship? Or do they prefer routine?)

He's okay trying new things but those new things will be similar to things he's already done. Like we experimented with one potion, let's experiment with a new harder one. Or let's learn even more about animals to help them better. He'll stay with what he knows

U - Understanding (How well do they understand you)

Reiji's not the most intuitive diaboy, but he does make an active effort to understand you so given some time he will understand you very well

V - Value (How important is your relationship to them?)

Before you, he never cared about relationships. He didn't think they'd be important to him. Now he can't imagine life without you. If you died, he'd be broken. He'd bury himself in his work to bring you back or wishing he wasn't immortal so he could literally work himself to death

W - Wild card (A random fluff headcanon)

He actually enjoys watching TV and movies with you, provided the two of you have time and chores are done for the day. He'll get some snacks and wrap his arm around you

X - XOXO (Are they affectionate? Do they like to kiss and cuddle)

In private, yes. He loves to hold you in his arms and have you rest your head on shoulders or chest. He loves holding you in his arms, kissing you, holding your hand. Even when he's busy, he'll still absent-mindedly stroke your arm or kiss your temple

Y - Yearning (How will they cope when they miss you?)

If you're willingly separated, he'll bury himself in work until you come back but it's rare he lets you go anywhere without him anyway.

Z - Zeal (Are they willing to go to great lengths for your relationship?)

Yes, he will do anything for you. He will fight to the death for you and your relationship

-------------------------------------------

Feedback and reblogs appreciated! ❤️

Thank you for reading my loves ❤️

Shu's Relationship Alphabet

Ayato's Relationship Alphabet

Kanato's Relationship Alphabet

[jerzwriter]

Who is more jealous? Ethan or Kaycee? Tobias or Casey? Eli or Zoe?

Hey Nonny!

Thank you for the ask and your patience! I know this one is kind of old! I know I've answered similar questions in the past, but I'll revisit. 😊😊😊

Now, I don't like jealousy. Jealousy is never good, and it's always a sign of insecurity within an individual, a lack of trust in their partner, and a lack of faith in their relationship. Since, in my HCs at least, I wish to portray healthy relationships, you will never see much overt jealousy.

That said, we're all human beings. All days are not good days, we're not always at our best, and sometimes old feelings of insecurity do pop up. It can manifest in different ways. It doesn't have to be another person; it could be a partner succeeding in their career at a time when the other is struggling, it could be a child reaching their teens and bonding with one parent more than the other, or it could be that their extended family members seem to like their spouse much better than them.

With that in mind, with Ethan and Kaycee, I think Ethan would be more likely to succumb to those feelings. Not careerwise. He's secure in his accomplishments and happy to see Kaycee soar. He trusts her implicitly, so he's never worried about her being unfaithful, but if someone is paying too much attention to her he might get pissed. It's more about the person being disrespectful than him being "jealous." And I definitely think there are times when he will feel inadequate with Emma throughout her life, and he may be envious of the bond she and Kaycee share. Mind you, Ethan and Emma are super close, but I can see his own past haunting him here just a little bit.

With Tobias and Casey, Casey is very insecure at the beginning of their relationship. It's not Tobias's fault, she's still coping with the aftermath of the attack, and they're a new couple. A new couple who is surrounded by people "amazed" at him setting down, a new couple who runs into his former flings far more often than either like. Casey's reactions do get a little out of control, and they need to work on it (I'll be writing this very soon.) Tobias is so self-assured he doesn't really let jealousy creep in. He's also so head-over-heels for her; he's happy to see her shine. When he sees another man or woman going gaga over her, he's like, "Of course they are. You're fucking amazing! And you're all mine!" With the girls, the two are such a team it doesn't happen. The only place it might be? His extended family. Tobias has always had strained relationships with them, but they all seem to adore Casey. Normally, he doesn't care, but on occasion, he thinks it stings a little.

Eli and Zoe, this one is a little challenging. I'm not as familiar with them yet, and their world is so different than ours. I think they're very secure in their love, and they don't tend to get jealous of each other, but there is one storyline (right @annoyingmillenialnewbie?) that could leave one of them very envious, if not jealous.

Thank you for the ask! :)

[czigonas]

Okay, it's been a while, but we're here with Jango Fett Open Seasons issue two. It's Battle of Korda VI time, everyone, get ready for some sad. And mad. Mostly mad.

So the inside cover still states that this takes place 36 years before Attack of the Clones, which is 58BBY. This can't be true for a number of reasons and I'm not going to point it out for the last two issues (because their covers state the same) but man that's just lazy editing.

First page says the non-flashback scenes are ten years before the Battle of Geonosis, which was 22BBY, so that gives us a starting point. 32BBY was the Trade Federation blockade of Naboo, and the year Anakin was brought to the Temple. A busy year all around.

First we get Dooku stalking down his weird spiky castle (seriously, first panel looks like a Sleeping Beauty concept piece) to talk to a LOM-series droid about a mysterious prisoner. No suspense really, since the reveal is on the same page, but we still don't know who this sad brown-haired man is.

Dooku tries to be grandfatherly and sympathetic but he just is, well, y'know, too evil for that. Especially on someone he's been torturing for what appears to be a very significant amount of time. Silas, our poor tortured man, starts the flashback with "Twenty years ago, I almost died for Jango Fett."

That sets our flashback timeline at 52BBY, which makes Jango 14. Even by Mandalorian standards, he's very young. Especially since he's being given significant command here. It makes his story more tragic, but it's also not something you'd expect a seasoned military commander to do, regardless of - or perhaps especially because of - emotional ties.

Jango's armour in this issue is very different from his later colour schemes - and everyone else we see in Open Seasons, in fact. He looks a lot like Boba will during his bounty hunting days, in fact. Probably this is a deliberate callback, but who can say. Either way, he's wearing a mourning grey kute, duty green on most plates, vengance gold (or lust for life orange, depending on the panel) pauldrons and knee guards, and honouring a parent red vambraces as well as around his visor and painted in a large circle on his chest plates.

One aside about the armour in these comics: I know they want to add texture for visual interest, but the actual effect is that everyone just looks dirty or rusty all the time. Even the circle on Jango's chest (and the diamond on Jaster's and the square on Montross') look like they're chipping or were just painted badly in the first place. This is a mercenary company! Image is part of their sell! Why does everyone look filthy?

Jango's a bit of a dick here, but people seem used to it (probably partially because he's 14 and partially because he's their superior even if he should have an experienced NCO riding him on his first command here). The big thing this issue pulls out is Montross starting to show his hand early. They don't really do a good job making it clear that this has probably been going on a while, but you can get a good sense of Montross' discontent and jealousy.

Time for the actual descent to Korda VI!

I know these are short range troop transports they're using, but they seem to be over full. These poor people are jammed in nuts to butts and they're not holding on to the straps meant for the purpose. I'm surprised they don't get tossed around more than they get shown. The pilots call out status, presumably on their coms and not back to Jango and the troops, but it mostly feels like "action movie filler dialogue". Carrier gets hit (of course) but lands relatively safely (of course) and Jango's Grunts prepare to deploy.

Now, I don't know what kind of sensors they have, but if an ion canon knocks out your electrical and causes your transport to crash, why are you relying on them for data on whether the LZ is clear of hostiles?? The first wave of troops runs out and gets cut down, because of course! Jango had promised just a page ago that everyone was coming home, so you knew they weren't.

The whole operation is messy - and it's supposed to be, with what's coming up - but there are a lot of opportunities for them to pull back before they finally make that call. I'm not sure if the writers deliberately intended to evoke the Normandy landing, but there are significant parallels that I think are unwarranted. Either way, Jango gets his surviving men into the trenches dug by their forced landings, Jaster calls for a regroup on that position, and.... Montross disobeys.

Now, this is a mercenary company, not a proper army, but Montross has just fucked himself over even if his plans go the way he wants. What soldier wants a commander that will disobey direct (not illegal) orders from their general? Especially when the order they're disobeying is intended to keep the soldiers alive instead of throwing more bodies at an insurmountable problem? Montross has just shown (us, I'm sure his underlings already had an idea) that he gives zero shits about anything but glory and he will sacrifice whatever and whoever he needs to to get that.

Jaster saves his ass (should've let him die, alas) and Montross immediately questions where Jango is (because he's fucking obsessed). It's a little sad he's threatened by a boy at least 20 years his junior, but honestly he'd have had a better chance at the line of succession if he weren't such a terrible person.

I'll cut this one off here. I'll be back for the rest of Korda VI later.

[the-firebird69]

US kills al Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri in drone strike in Afghanistan - CNNPolitics

Well I certainly see who my friends are and who they aren't I see what biden's doing doesn't sound that great but he has to but then again he ordered it to be done and he's a fruitcake now mental patient my son says I need to do a good job you got below and we left and we know how the drone team is done one of them is Trump and he's an egg a goose egg soon to be destroyed by jealousy his people are weak as I as heck my son doesn't know how to ride you it's not the one doing it there's a bunch of us who escaped I'm getting rid of you because you're trash says it all the time you can't figure out which way to go if I going away from me you can't speak English correctly it's a very simple language tons of lines we send out through and you can't hear a damn thing you're so stupid I find out why you're dumb and a lot of you are fixing your brains so it's time to war on you now I do appreciate you trying to attack me again you remember what happened last time my son's snickering you can't figure it out

I can't explain how anger I am but what you've done to my wife and where she is sitting in the ground in Utah waiting for it to get too hot but you keep saying she's deep below okay stupid and my son and daughter-in-law and not even the way you put him because you're stupid you relocated them because you're a man no I just wanted to preserve them yeah they're under the house I can see them there myself in the United Kingdom I have many aliases my son's figured out I'm and she started going after me because she's an idiot and this monsters inside her head too and you guys are having her turns out my son keeps saving me and see why y'all horrendous you're going to help in this time around and a lot of other people are too in foreign countries I wouldn't be making it otherwise they needed information and I'm giving it to them. It kind of stupid driving this is your character as well

Ayman Al zawahari

You're breaking the law and my grandson says so what this guy Trump is trying to hit you all the time and Dad is not so I guess I got it online and I have to check

Biden

You're in the line of fire and that's what it said when your president tell terrorists

Trump

Trump you're a domestic terrorist and you're on the terrorist list they won't put your particular alias on there but you go after your people who are your own that's what I said about a domestic terrorist but in particularly going after people who were in your cadre and allies of yours for a long time. In this case I can't say if it was you or not I can save someone like you is taking the credit or someone appeared like you on TV but you're sometimes the schmuck doing it. I do agree sometimes people frame even sometimes I'm mad at people and I can't help it I keep going after you because you keep on talking to me wrong after I rile you up on purpose so it's kind of weird I think I'm getting stuff by doing it and yet I don't own anything of significance anymore because Max having it done so I'm poor it's been going on for years I have nothing I keep doing it and I'll be dead soon that's the way it goes when you're stupid but your dad and I have about and a disagreement but tell me if seems to be going after him trying to blame us I'm so sick of that guy you're right I got to leave you alone stop running up and saying s*** trying to harm me Tommy f is near you trying to have you hit me and bother me boy you just keeps doing it so I'm aware now

Trump

I'm not blaming you Trump but you got to get off my case come on saying you weren't there and you weren't doing anything and check and it looks like you and I can't verify it so my son is right and exercising caution because Tommy f does it with everyone but he also manipulates people to do it and you've been asking me plenty and I can't stand you and he can't stand you my son can't fighting can't stand you and it's because you're an a****** going after them he says you've lost everything to tell me if and you won't admit it he says the Intel about it is right there in the light cycle bunkers all you have to do is break it up again and go ahead and get it and you won't or at least you won't do it right now

Arn

Well we see how it is I should probably go after them he says hello how are you so I'm doing fine and you well I'm having a fight with my bed and his dick heads across the street and they're making my life hell it's like a horror show I have nobody to turn to and they're subject to you so they're probably going to grab you you can't really let him grab you because he'll grab me and these guys just can't figure out what side they're on the confused with I keep trying to tell him you attacked these bases in the United States you got to remember and it's Tommy f but still you know what side you're on right so it's horrible but you don't have to speak to them and I don't

We're going to straighten it out and we're going to start doing that now

[t4tbruharvey]

Oohhhhhh yess yesss that sounds so fun! Yeah werewolves as sort-of-highwaymen makes so much sense, especially because then maybe some people could also dismiss the rumors of werewolves existing as "this is just robber bands attacking people to steal from them" instead of. Y'know. Werewolf packs. Which makes me wonder: do your werewolves have guilds? Because werewolf guilds seems like a fun concept. Also I love the bit about identity!! Yeah becoming a werewolf would make you question your place in society, but with the "maybe society never accepted him in the first place" it's even better because yeah before the werewolf thing he probably would have been able to still 'blend in' somewhat by hiding the parts of himself that society doesn't want to see but being a werewolf would make that so much harder.. which actually does make me wonder how transness was seen in the renaissance or middle ages, because considering some of the things I now know about renaissance ideas of how gender works as well as some Ancient Greek myths I do feel like being transmasc might actually not have been as stigmatized as you'd expect (using the general you here. But also hell yeah to using stories as a way to deal with personal trauma, I hope writing it can be cathartic for you!! (also I hope this makes sense ahdhhd))

And yesss! Oh I love that idea with the reversed spell that's amazing it's so fun!!! Poor Ivy though ofc...do you have an idea why the sorcerer would do that to her if she was their apprentice? Jealousy about her abilities maybe or just an accident? (also Harley mistaking joker for a seelie fae would be so fun and makes a lot of sense in an AU context too...do you know the poem The Erlking ? Because it kind of reminds me of that)

And yes it's very interesting! But like I said it's also nsfw so I'm gonna write it down in a separate ask so that you don't have to publish it to answer or anything! Something non-nsfw about renaissance body things though: in the Middle Ages and the renaissance people thought that the body had a certain connection to the astral plane, specifically they thought that certain regions of the human body directly correlated to the zodiac signs. So if you had a certain malady then one solution would have been to let blood at the respective zodiac-sign-spot. The example our professor gave was that if someone had trouble with love (or the physical aspects of it) the bloodletter would let blood at the spot correlated to the zodiac sign cancer, since that one was associated with love and sexuality. Another fun thing would be the four humor theory (that's something I feel could well play into Harvey's whole deal actually) or the renaissance idea of how conception works and what causes children to be how they are (that one is very wild and very interesting and again probably would play into how those people see transness)

YES YES EXACTLY werewolf packs blaming werewolf activity is EXACTLY what they have going on. especially maroni bc his whole operation WAS a guild in that i pulled the byzantine concept of having warehouses on the docks as a specific semi-official channel and THAT was filled with essentially the mafia but they're all werewolves and maroni could just blame werewolf stuff on smugglers because he was basically just hiding in plain sight :)

and like the fitting into society thing is partly gender and sexuality stuff and partly his normal mental health issues that he tries to smooth over and present as perfect and that fosters jealousy from some people so they start looking for flaws which makes him put up even higher walls and it's this vicious cycle that does nothing for him and what does he get out of it? an idea of harvey dent? some sort of concept of the perfect man and in this au perfect knight? a chivalric ideal he'll never be able to live up to? man like who even wants to be part of society if that's the prize. gender is just another aspect of it and i think the heightened scrutiny might lead to a weirder slightly more uncomfortable relationship with gender than most people would have in that society, which is a nice contrast to harley who i think doesn't necessarily get to be stealth and maybe wouldn't really want to be because she has the protection of, uh. not living in a society.

i think with ivy it was DEFINITELY deliberate idk if it was jealousy or that she uncovered something more sinister yet but both of those will probably play into it because woodrue definitely 100% did that shit on purpose he just thought it would be instantaneous. also i haven't read the erlking the poem but i HAVE read the bloody chamber and that has a whole chapter devoted to it and i AM giving the joker greenish teeth because of it lol. and like the actual spooky parts of the erlking and the exploitative undertones but yeah i'm ripping a fair bit from the bloody chamber which RULES by the way for anyone who hasn't read it

i just got your other ask and i DO have tea so i'm gonna read it but yeah i vaguely know abt the humours theory i think? the conception stuff sounds so interesting and definitely is a theme bc dick is here in this au yaaay little guy hallie forced me to include him yaayyy and ZODIAC SPOTS??? little areas for the zodiac?? oooooooh man that sounds wild

[fuck-goes-on]

Spider

pairing/s: peter parker x reader

summary: peter exhibits strange behaviours... maybe he's more spider than he thought?

warning/s: comedy, fluff, spider-like behaviour, ballooning, dead flies, eggs (?), unnecessary jealousy, pheromones, venom-suit vibes

note/s: i'm in a crack mood yall, as always i wrote with tobey! peter in mind, but it can be read as any spiderman, also i got most of the behaviours from this site

masterlist ¦¦ navigation

Peter Parker was... weird. That much people knew when he first entered college.

The first time you met him, you were rushing back to your chemistry laboratory to find a notebook you left. As you entered the room, you saw Peter hanging from the ceiling, with only a thin thread holding him in place. The faint air from the aircon gently blew him back and forth, which almost hypnotised you before he let go of the thread and let the momentum push him to the wall on the other side of the doorway.

You looked around the area; test tubes, beakers and flasks containing an unfamiliar substance scattered across the lab tables, and a weird device was propped up with the same thin string coming out of it. Upon closer inspection, the string seemed to look like silk, raw silk that spiders wove from their spinnerets.

Peter rushed towards you with his hands flailing around as his mouth rambled words you half-understood.

"—not what you think! I was j-just— You were hallucinating! Yes, this is all a dream—" His hands waved in front of your face, "You are experiencing a heart attack! Wait— no— that's too much—"

"Peter, that's enough," You said as you pushed him away from you. He stumbled back, mouth finally shut. "I've known you were Spiderman for a while now."

Peter paused, panic filling his expressions once more, "Spider-who? I-I don't know no man spider and if I did, I would definitely walk away and act as if nothing happened."

"What do you think I've been doing this whole time, weirdo?" You crossed your arms and quirked a brow. He instantly relaxed, slumping over one of the lab stools. "Anyways... You think I can help you out with your webs?"

It's a month since you've been helping Peter with the creation of his webs; You were taught the formula first and foremost, and were tested with small amounts of the needed substances so you could make your own webs. To put it shortly, he was very impressed.

"You wanna help me?" Peter asked you. You merely nodded, and he seemed to consider you for a moment, before ultimately saying, "Alright."

From then on, you've been creating your own webs with his formula as a base; funnel webs, tangle webs, sheet webs, orb webs, and many others. They're inspired by actual webs spiders create, which amused Peter to no great deal.

"What? If you're Spiderman, then you gotta have some spider webs!"

"I already do!"

"Those? Nah, homie, those are Peter webs, not spider ones."

No matter how much he likes to complain, Peter is grateful for your assistance in making webs, especially since he has web block almost every other day; An incredible hassle during patrol nights.

One day, when you went to study with Peter at the Avengers Compound — they let you in there? — you couldn't find the guy for the life of you.

But there are other ways he's grateful for your webs as well.

You looked at the kitchen, the lab, his room, anywhere he would be seen by the others; However, none of those places had that red-blue spandex wearing man in them.

It took you longer than expected just to find him outside in the garden, where Tony and a webbed up Steve were talking. They were standing next to this huge funnel web, all the spokes spiraling inward to a large hole where a little dug-out hole was. When you extend your neck, you could see your friend laying down inside, sleeping comfortably on his bed of webs.

"Hey! You!" Tony called out to you. You walked closer to where the Ironman and the Captain stood. "You think you can get Pete out of there? I kind of need him in the lab, and Cap can't get him without being webbed together."

You nod your head and walked closer to the funnel, very carefully stepping on the intricately made webs. Just as you stepped down, Peter's head popped out of the hole; His foggy and narrowed eyes tried to focus on you as he assessed whether your were a threat, prey, or a friend.

Peter perked up when he noticed it was you, though, and immediately scrambled up with a handful of something.

"Pete! What are you doing?" You asked him as he got closer to you, "Tony Stark had to ask me for help. He doesn't as people for help, Peter!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll deal with him later, but right now, hold out your hand," You suspiciously did what he asked, and he beamed brightly at you. Before you could ask him again what he was doing, he dumped whatever he was holding into your hands.

Flies. Dead flies.

You screamed in shock and shook your hand to drop all of them on top of the web you and Peter were standing on. He preciously bright smile twisted into a crestfallen look, sadly glancing down at his trophy of flies.

"You don't like them?" He genuinely asked you, which both confused and scared you.

"And you do?!"

"Well, I just thought you'd like some..." Peter said with sadness. You winced at the utter genuineness of the guy and tried to smile.

"Thank you for... that, Peter, but Tony Stark needs you right now and afterwards, we need to work on our chem homework."

Peter looked a bit better after you thanked him, and instantaneously looked happier at the thought of working with you after whatever Mr. Stark needed him for.

It's a month after that incident that you two started dating, and everything was bliss.

"Okay! Let me help you out of the web and I'll be quick with Mr. Dad!" You chuckled and nod, holding tight onto his arm as he maneuvered you out of his web.

Peter took care of you like a housewife to her army husband. It was almost overbearing if it wasn't so gosh darn adorable of him to worry about whether you ate or not.

The first time you invite him over your apartment, it was for a movie night. It was just the two of you, a bowl of buttered and salted popcorn between you two, and a movie both of you weren't really paying attention to.

After a while, Peter stood up to get some water for the two of you. However, it took a little bit too long for him to come back.

"Pete? Are you okay?" You called out to him, reaching down for some popcorn to munch on.

"Y-Yeah, I'm okay..." He replied, sounding kind of far-away, "I just... didn't realise you had eggs."

"Well, I have to eat something for breakfast, don't I?" You half-joke, finally standing up to face whatever he was doing in your kitchen.

What you didn’t expect, though, was Peter holding your batch of organic eggs and wrapping them in his webs.

"Peter, love, what in the name of the good Lord are you doing?" You watched in horror as he grabbed yet another egg from your fridge to wrap with his webs. Before he could get more, you stop him with your hands, holding his wrists to your chest.

"What? I'm helping protect our eggs!"

"Protect— What— No, Peter, what you needed to do was get us some water," You pulled him away and made him hold two glasses that you filled with water.

When you faced him, Peter had the most pathetic and pitiful face on. It made you feel so bad that you reached to kiss his cheek, "Thank you for protecting our eggs, Peter. But only do that when I ask you to, okay?"

Peter caught you talking to Pietro the other day, and the effect was hissing towards the speedster whenever he got too close to you. But it was all for naught as Pietro didn't care for what people thought, except for Wanda.

Placated, Peter skipped as cheerfully as he could with two full glasses in his hands. You shook your head and followed him back to finish the movie you've both forgotten about.

Pietro would tease Peter, though. Sometimes the Sokovian would grab you and spin you around as a greeting, right in front of Peter. Other times, Pietro would get you things you wanted faster than Peter could; You want cereal? Sure, Pietro's got you covered. You're craving that meal you had down the street? Suddenly it appears right in front of you.  

One day though, for the nth time, you think, Peter has gone bonkers.

You woke up in the Avengers compound, having gotten used to spending weekend nights there with Peter whenever you can, alone. Before you could question where Peter was, a scream tore throughout the hallway; An impressive feat, considering the fact that the walls were soundproofed.

You rushed out of your shared room with Peter, seeing Wanda do the same as well as Clint who fell out of a vent. All of you ran toward where the noise was, surprised that it came from Pietro's room, and stumbled inside.

It was a sight, for lack of better phrasing.

Peter was on top of Pietro on the speedster's bed, crouched in his signature spider pose. Pietro, on the other hand, was bound with your boyfriend's webs, stuck inside with no way out.

"Peter!" You shouted, making the boy himself freeze at your voice. When he turned around, he faced your fury, "What the fuck is going on right now?! Release Pietro right this instant!"

"No! If I do, he's going to take up all your time just like the week before and the week before that!"

"Spider, if you don't release my brother right now..." Wanda threatened, eyes glowing red and swirls twisting and turning around her fingers, "You won't forget my name ever again."

Peter looked apprehensive, hesitant, before taking out some web dissolvent out of his pocket. It was a relief that he had some on his person; It showed that he wasn't completely insane.

After Pietro was released, he ran toward his sister and Clint, and sped the three of them away from you and Peter.

It was silent for a moment, Peter looking at the ground in shame, and you glaring at him like there's no tomorrow.

"What is going on with you, Peter? You've been acting out of it the past few months!" You exclaimed loudly, making your boyfriend flinch.

"... I'm sorry, angel, I didn't know what I was doing, honest," He said, looking up to show you how sincere he was. "I consulted Dr. Banner and Mr. Stark about this, but all they told me was that I've been behaving more and more like a spider since the bite and—"

You furrowed your brows as you walked closer to him, carefully laying your hand on his chest, "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"I didn't wanna worry you... This all seemed so little, so insignificant that I didn't want to burden you with it."

"You could never burden me with anything related to you, Pete. I love you, and I mean all of you. Spider or no spider." He smiled at you and leaned in to press a kiss on your forehead. Pulling you into an embrace, he thanked and apologised to you numerous times.

That's when you knew, everything would be okay with you and your spider.

[warm-like-autumn]

Little Witch academia theories

Since now there's the possibility of an upcoming Lwa season I thought it was the perfect time to share this theory I've had for a long time, along with what I think the upcoming season could be about, possible episode ideas and… maybe future villains. And as I’m rewatching this show , I developed this theory that I had for a long time and even came up with ideas for the new season and what it could be about.Let's speculate!!

My main theory is about Croix Meridies and how she could possibly be related to the Hanbridge family.

This might be me over analysing things, but after seeing someone on Tumblr point out to how similar Andrew and Croix's eyes are, I believe they are connected in some way, but the creators didn't have time to develop on that. Especially in how in ep 24, there was put a strong emphasis on both of their eyes. In a scene that was supposed to parallel their reactions.Especially in a show like Lwa, where all the important characters have unique eye shapes that match their personality, having two important characters have the same eye shape and the same eye color raises some questions.

And this is not the only evidence I have to Croix being related to the Hanbridge family. In episode 19, Andrew even states that him and Diana are sort of related. And now on to the Paul Hanbridge part, it would be weird for a man who claims to dislike magic so much to be related to witches. So, what if his wife was a witch, because I think there's a reason we never saw Andrew's mother, and even though we don't see all of the characters parents and flashback moments in this show, Andrew's backstory seems to be pretty important and his father is always present throughout the story.

And for a father that is so strict it raises some questions that his mother is absent. So what if his mother is… dead, and what if her death had to do something with witchcraft, possibly being a reason why Paul hates witchcraft and forced his son to have the same opinions , thinking magic is a dead practice, and his hatred seems too personal to be political in the first place.

Another interesting factor is how Paul's hatred for witches seems to be different from Blackwell's hatred for witches. Whereas Paul's reasons are more justified since he hates the art, not the artist and thinks magic and witches are outdated and have no place in the modern age, Blackwell holds this opinion out of pure bigotry.

And as much as he hates witches, Paul still tries to keep a good relation with them, even if trying to "keep his enemies in debt"

as he says in ep 6 and he seems to have had a good relation with witches and Luna Nova for a long time. So something must have happened along the way for him to hate witches and that something may involve… his wife. What if witches or witchcraft were involved in his wife's death.

And this gets us to the important part of the theory, Croix and how she could possibly be Paul's daughter. What if Andrew isn't the only child Paul has, and this theory is plausible since Croix is around 28 years old,(she graduated in 2007, the anime takes place somewhere around 2017)

and Paul seems to be around his middle or late 50s, basically old enough to be her father. Another piece of evidence I have to that is how there not anything known about Croix's past before she joined Luna Nova, and despite her achievements and the fact that she was described as a "magic prodigy" she was also described as timid and reserved during high-school days, and back then she wasn't as confident and over the top villainous as she is today, her stance being much more distant and reserved, compared to Chariot, who was much more extroverted, even a bit of a show of, always surrounded by people.

She seemed as if she was hiding from something… or someone. What if Croix ran away from home in order to pursue witchcraft, since Paul could have been just as strict about witchcraft to her as he is to Andrew.

And it would make Andrew and Paul's connection to the Chariot and Croix storyline deeper and better, since even the magic shop owner was more relevant to the plot than those two at this point, and they acted as spectators in the second half of the story. Another interesting factor is how Paul constantly says that magic is dead ,obsolete and not necessarily in modern times, while Croix's main motivation is to prove that this exact thing is wrong and that magic is still useful by fusing it with science. And think about it for a second, the damage Croix's monsters did, how Croix fueling the protests for her experiments almost sparked into ww3, all of these things affect the government, which Paul is a part of. Her villain plan might have also been a revenge plan at her father, for being an awful parental figure.

On top of that, neither Andrew or Paul ever directly interacted with Croix or even saw her, and all of the important characters saw Croix and interacted with her, except those two. And at the end of episode 25, right after Croix was arrested and left the scene, Andrew appeared, almost as if the creators didn't want the two characters to interact just yet.

And knowing that Andrew and Diana are cousins, this would also make Croix be part of the Cavendish family, Meridies being possibly a fake name she took to distance herself from both of the well known powerful families. Andrew and Diana often parallel each other in the show, and Croix and her relationship to Chariot is also supposed to be a foil to Akko and her relationship with Diana. Therefore Andrew and Croix were supposed to be a foil to each other, Croix kind of showing Andrew what can happen if he quietly held a grudge against his father and not standing up to him at the right time for two long until he eventually could snap and do the same thing as Croix. Her story of being misunderstood,missguided, filled with jealousy could serve as a cautionary tail.

And Croix being Paul’s daughter would also make sense given her overambitious personality and her constant need of validation from others , including Profesor Woodward and desire to be on top.All of these factors could have easily shaped her into the sort of person that despite having good intentions doesn't have the best ways of achieving them , often putting others in danger to do so.Her being Paul’s daughter would also make sense of why she is jealous of Chariot , since Chariot not only has the shiny rod , but also support from others and appreciation .

A reason my theory could work is how Andrew was originally supposed to be Akko’s love interest , but the creator of the show , Yoh Yoshinari scrapped that sconcept at the request of staff and voice actor , he ended up making Akko a “girl who’s not interested in boys” , so Andrew needed a new purpose in the story , and maybe him discovering Croix is his sister and potentially also becoming a wizard could be those purposes , since they already been kinda set up.

But this theory also raises some questions .How did Andrew’s mother die?Is Andrew a wizard?Did he know he had an older sister? These could be interesting themes to explore in the potential upcoming season .Other things that would be cool to see in this potential season what happened after the missile, Croix redemption arc, my theory becoming cannon and Croix and Chariot having to deal with the mistakes they made, how Akko feels about all of these, and more stuff with the nine new witches, are they considered like superheroes, are they famous now??

Now , onto what the upcoming season could potentially be about :

- As I stated in my theory , Croix and Andrew having to deal with the fact that they are siblings

-Croix redemption arc , maybe more development with her relationship with Ursula/Chariot

-Maybe another episode focused on nightfall , maybe Akko using a spell to make the Nightfall characters real for Lotte’s birthday.

-More flashbacks about Chariot and Croix’s years as Luna Nova students

-Lore behind the golden age of magic and the nine new witches

-New villains

-Return of the shiny rod , but in a unique way

-Maybe the stories could deal with Arthurian Mythos via Appleton Academy

-Male Wizards , maybe more episodes with Andrew and Frank

-More action scenes and serious moments

-The preparation for the spring festival mentioned at the end of episode 25

-More references to other pieces of media (maybe more kingsman , marvel and star wars references as well…)

I should go in depth with some of these aspects :

1.For example , even after episode 25 showed everyone cheering for the 7 witches,they were happy and cheering because otherwise the missile would have killed everyone.They now are happy that they are saved by the witches , and possibly entering a new age of magic , but what if somehow , it is discover that it was because of Croix’s magic that the missile attack almost happened in the first place.How would they react knowing a single witch was capable of such a feast.Especially how would the politicians react.Because at the end of episode 25,Paul was willing to learn more about Andrew’s opinions about witchcraft and even be open to it .But maybe after he finds out the truth about the missile attack,his hatred for witchcraft is even more reinforced , maybe ruining all the progress Andrew has been trying to make in teaching his father about magic ,for him to hate it even more now.Maybe it would even push him to become a villain in the show.

2.Another idea for a villain in the upcoming season I theorize about is Daryl , Diana’s aunt , even though she was kinda redeemed by the end of the season , she is a strange figure , possibly using dark magic , maybe after Diana became head of the Cavendish family , Daryl does not agree with some of Diana’s ways of improving the Cavendish family title and returns to villany , maybe serving as a possible introduction to dark magic (Like she literally can go through walls and has a snake as a pet AND HER EYES GLOW RED)

3.After rewatching episode 17 (Amanda O’Neill and the holy grail) I came up with this silly idea for a plotline , what if that episode wasn't just about an epic fight scene and showing us Croix’s first experiment test , but set up something even more interesting.Even if the title of the episode is a reference to “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” , in the Arturian legend of the holy grail it is Galahad the knight who is chosen to find the Holy Grail. Galahad, in both the Lancelot-Grail cycle and in Malory's retelling, is exalted above all the other knights: he is the one worthy enough to have the Holy Grail revealed to him and to be taken into Heaven , so Galahad is the one to have found the holy grail.And for a first test , Croix’s monster worked quite well , and we also know in Lwa , spirits and ghosts exist and they tend to attach themselves to objects.And if Croix’s pixels were in the grail before Louis broke it , why didn't they start working yet.My theory is that Galahad’s ghost was attached to the Holy Grail and the cubes only powered the ghost up , making it able to separate form the grail ,but decided to stay still until Louis broke the grail , pissing the ghost of Galahad off and thus punishing Louis by possessing a nearby knight armor along with Blackwell himself, combining both into a violent berserker.After Amanda destroyed the armor she could’ve weakened the ghost of Galahad , thus everything instantly went back to normal , but what if the ghost started regaining strength , adjusting to life not being attached to the grail , but planning to stroke again , to punish Louis and the other students of Appleton for ruining the reputation of the school with their hatred for witches .Appleton academy could possibly have lore connected to Arthurian legend to it , with how much they hold the importance of tradition , duels , and gentleman like behaviour , almost knight-like.Maybe the next season could have a plotline that involves stopping the Ghost of Galahad.

4.Last but not least , even after the shiny rod vanished in episode 25 , i think there is a way for it to return without ruining the impact it had in the show. There are seven words of arcturus , and seven of the Luna Nova students are part of the nine new witches , right ?So since the rod became a constellation at the end of the show , seven of those stars could be the seven words , so what if each of the seven words materializes as weapon of their own on earth and each of the seven witches(Akko ,Diana, Lotte,Sucy, Amanda , Constanze , Jasminka) get one of the seven words that became weapons .Because even if the rod disappeared , it came to Akko’s help in a different way , since even if the quest to bringing a new age of magic is far from complete.

[impossiblelibrary]

Today's rant brought to you by: Queer Eye Japan, can we all just try to be as kind as they try to be?

After watching the Queer Eye Japan super short season, I wanted to google to see the overall reaction to the show, make sure that my western eyes were correct in seeing the care that was given to the culture. Were cultural taboos, other than being outwardly gay, crossed? So I find this article in the top results and other than the perspective, why tho? Tokyoesque.com had an article with a higher reading level, with surface level appreciation but at least better written.

I can't get over this hate article though. Unfounded, dumb, wrong and incorrect. Do not go forward unless you like that blistering kind of anger from me.

But the reasons just get weaker as the article extends: "Hurts the country it set out to save?" Looking for white savior much? They did not go to save Japan, they gave some free shit to like 4-5 people, think smaller.

Their culture guide wasn't gay enough.

You want to suggest any lgbt insta models or celebrities, use your platform to raises some up?

"There is a growing sexless culture in Japan for married and unmarried people, and it is perilous watching Queer Eye present this without any context behind what is driving this behavior."

Sexiness is what the fab 5 embrace, unfortunately and it was probably discussed behind the scenes of how much talking about sex was allowed or polite and the conversation of not having sex is closer to the tip of the tongue rather than the feeling of sexiness. The West is not the ones blasting that information. It is across multiple Japanese printed newspapers and online stories by now and the "context" is still being discussed and debated amongst Japanese. So I don't think any outsiders should be weighing in or "explaining" this phenomenon. We can repeat what we have been told but guessing at the reasons is not our place. The reasons illustrated by the author of the article seem lacking, a take but not the only one, but who am I to speak on that being in a sexual relationship with someone who pulls from that culture?

Kiko begins to lecture Yoko-san on how she “threw away her womanhood” (referring to a Japanese idiom, onna wo suteru) by going makeup-free and wearing drab, shapeless clothes.

The mistranslation by the subtitles fixed by this author was necessary information. But Kiko didn't lecture her on it, it was brought up by Yoko before any of them arrived, that was her theme, that was what she had decided to focus on. Meanwhile, if you watched Jonathan, he understood there was no time to spend on makeup and skincare so provided her a one instrument, 3 points of color on the skin to feel prettier. That and the entire episode being the 5 treating her like a woman on a date, not trying to hook her up, which is what they did in American eps.

"In teaching a Japanese woman, who already struggles to find time for herself, how to make an English recipe, Antoni is making great TV and nothing more."

So Antoni shouldn't have taught her apple pie because it's too exotic for a Japanese woman. (Can you smell the sexism?)

He didn't make an apple pie, altho Yoko did mention her mother made that for her when she was a kid. He made an apple tartine after going to a Japanese bakery who makes that all the time. Then highlighted the apples came from Fuji in true Japanese media fashion. Honey, American television doesn't usually highlight where the ingredients come from. A Japanese producer told him to do that. So all worries handled within the same ep. She got Japanese ingredients, had the recipe shown to her and then made it for her friends in her own house. Did the author actually watch this show or nah?

"beaten over the head with his western self-help logic. “You have to live for yourself,” he says."

The style of build up the 5 went for was confrontational but in a "I'm fighting for you" way. It's hard to describe, but the best I can say is, a person has multiple voices in their head, from parents, siblings, society, and maybe themselves. By being loud and obnoxious, American staples right there, they are adding one more voice. You deserve this, you are amazing, you are worth it. I know this is against most Japanese cultural modesty, but maybe it shouldn't be.

Sarcasm lies ahead:

Apparently: mispronunciation is microaggressions, not just someone who had a sucky school system. Yea okay, They're laughing at the language not at how stumbling these monolinguals are with visiting another country. Mmhm. Japanese don't say I love you and don't touch and that should stay that way instead of maybe, once in awhile, feeling like they can hug. Yeah, let's just ignore Yoko's break down that she had never hugged her lifelong friend after hugging strangers multiple times. Maid cafes are never sexualized in Japan ever, just don't go down that one street in Akihabara where the men are led off by the hand sheepishly blushing. Gag me. And Japanese men love to cry in front of their wives and would never break down once the wife leaves. I have never seen a Japanese movie showcase that move. Grr.

"I identify as many cultures."

So you're a Japanese man when it's convenient for you to get an article published? Are you nationally Japanese or just ethnically or culturally?

Homeland is an inherently racist word?

"After the Bush administration created the Department of Homeland Security after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, a Republican consultant and speechwriter Peggy Noonan urged, “the name Homeland Security grates on a lot of people, understandably. Homeland isn’t really an American word, it’s not something we used to say or say now.”

Yes, let's use a Washington Post article rather than a etymology professor. Yes, the google search results increased after 2001 Homeland Security was used but the word has been around since the 1660s and I've read multiple turn of the century lit on white people returning to their homeland, i.e. the town off the coast they were born in.

"But" is not disagreeing. I think the repeated offender for the author is the not acknowledging the makeover-ees feelings. But, that is how LGBT have decided to deal with the inner voices that invade from society. They are just that, not our own, they are the influence of society, and we can choose, we have to choose, to be influenced by someone, anyone else.

Karamo can't speak about being black when an Asian is speaking about being Asian, even though the Asian gay man was feeling alone. It's called relating bitches, and I'm done with people saying that is redirecting the conversation, it's extending the conversation. That's how we talk, the spotlight is shared, especially when someone's about to cry and doesn't want to be seen as crying, time to turn the spotlight.

The gay monk wasn't good enough, you should have invited the gay politician.

Yeah, causes I'm sure a politician has all the time in the world for a quick stint and cry. They picked a Japanese monk who travels to NY because they had a guest who travels to the West too. Did you want him to stop traveling back and forth? Did you want a pure, ethnic and cultural Japanese gay man who has no ties to the west to talk to this Western educated young man? Seriously?

This is just not how it works in Japan.

Being in a multi-cultural marriage between two rebels, discussions on facets of culture are plenty in my household. Culture should be respected enough to be considered but not held on a pedestal like we should never adjust or throw some things out. LGBT being quiet and private for instance. "Being seen" was Jonathan's advice, and a good one especially for a Japanese gay man that was called feminine since he was a kid. Some gay men can hide, but as Jonathan said, he couldn't hide what he was, he couldn't hide this. So fuck it. Don't hide. It's actually more dangerous for a feminine man to come off as anxious rather than gay and proud. It makes you more of a target if they think you won't fight back. Proud means, Imma throw hands too, bitch.

This is also from the civil rights playbook going back to Black America: never hold a protest or a fight without the cameras, without being seen. LGBT have found the more seen they are, in media, in the streets, the better off we are. When LGBT Americans were being "private" about our lifestyles, we died, a la 1980s. They won't care if you start dying off if they never saw you to begin with.

And hence why I think the author's real anger is from these 5 being seen dancing flamboyantly in Shibuya, in Harajuku, afforded the privilege of doing this safely because of their tourist status, cameras and very low violence rate in Tokyo, loud and obnoxiously. Honestly, they wouldn't have been invited or nominated if they didn't want that brash American-ness coming into their home, just for a taste, at least.

Here's my real anger, my own jealousy: Japan's queer community currently does not have marriage or adoption rights. US does, so we have progressed further. But we are also not that many years from being tied to cow fences with barbed wire, beaten with baseball bats and left for dead overnight. If things are so bad over there, maybe take a few pages from the civil right playbook we took so much time to perfect and produced by the Black Americans who fought first. But so far, I only hear loss of jobs and marriages, which we still have here too. Stop trying to divide us, we are one community, LGBT around the world and we are here to try to help. Take it or leave it, it's not like we're going to go organize your own Pride parade for you.

Rant over? I guess. Is this important enough to be put in the google results along with his. Hell no, anyone with half a mind can see he's reaching more than half the time. And any argument about: this wasn't covered! There are a shit ton of conversations that are not covered in the 45 min they have. They are not a civil rights show, it's a makeover show, doing their best in that direction anyway. Know what it is.

Next blog post, what research I would guess was happening behind the scenes for each of the 5? I'm pretty sure I saw Jonathan doing Japanese style makeup there...

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

[atsunflower]

Rated: SFW

Author notes: *sigh* for the third time the damned app ate up the tags. This one took me too long and I'm excited for write about my man suna again. This is also pretty different from what I'm used to write, but why not? Please enjoy your reading.

Warnings: cursing, substance usage/mentions, break-ups and me trynna be funny.

I – Cancel me.

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He looked at them with expectation as the beats smoothly faded, indicating the song's ending. 

If he were to be honest, the pair before him was a pain in the ass, but their opinion was that important because, when it came to music, they were the best at it. He felt no shame nor jealousy in admitting it.

"Dunno, the hook sounds like a Vice headline ta me." The bleach-haired male said, hearring the song's outro blaring through the studio speakers.

"Isn't it a Kid Milli reference, tho?" The other asked while munching a chip. He frowned at them, not understanding their point.

"Whatever. You two are no help anyways." Hearring their bullshit, the brunette already regretted this collab. He paused the queued song, turning to the other two with a blank stare.

The twins before him snickered, knowing they successfully hit a nerve. They couldn't help it, provoking Suna was one of their favorite hobbies.

"The song is good, but I gotta tell ya this butt hurt phase of yers is pretty lame." The faux-blond opened his mouth again, spinning around the studio with the desk chair. 

"Fuck you, Atsumu" He snapped, almost giving in to the desire of decking them both on the face.

"Tsumu's right, ya Lil Peep wannabe. Can't believe this break up ended up that bad." Osamu said in mockery, throwing the empty Lay's wrapper at him. He scoffed, disposing the wrapper on the bin before getting back at the screen to look at the FL studio interface.

"It's not that I have a broken heart. I just wanna know what's wrong with my life" He shrugged, blindly tacting over the desk in search of his Juul.

"Yeah Samu, he's just grieving over those fancy ass Dior Jordans. Sunarin is incapable of mundane things like a broken heart." His blond friend was partially right.

Suna Rintaro was many things: alt model, music producer, cloud artist and a decent volleyball player that almost went pro. But if there was something he could never be, it was a lucky man on love matters.

With his fair share of failed relationships, the artist could never pinpoint when things went wrong. It would always be the same: he would meet a girl, they would have a good time and then, the chick would turn out demanding as fuck.

In the end, every single one of them would slap him across the face and leave his life banging the front door shut like crazy — last week, it was Mika who broke things off, but not before setting his limited edition pair of jordans on fire. He would never get over those sneakers.

"Good for him, those kicks were kinda ugly." Osamu said in a bored manner. Suna felt his soul leaving his body.

"The hell, Osamu?" He was ready to fight, deeply offended by the attack at his taste in fashion.

"Yo, you two." Atsumu butted in, checking something on his phone "Y'all are drifting away from our problem."

"That is?" The other brother asked.

"Cheer up Sunarin before he fucks up with the Album." If Suna had the energy, he would kick both Miyas out of his studio "And I gotta the perfect thing. Let's hang out at Akagi's tonight, he just invited us." The already distressed musician felt the soul leaving his body for the second time that afternoon. He was sure both twins wished his death.

"Not a fucking chance. Last time I went there I almost died because of that weird stuff we smoked." 

"Aw, Sunarin, Kita'll be there too." The faux-blonde tried to persuade. The mention of their older, responsible and straight edge friend made Suna look at them with interest. But he needed more, though. Based on the last experience, he didn't have the will to risk his life going to Akagi's house once again. A shiver descended his spine as the male recalled how much he threw up that night.

"Suna, man, I gotta agree with Tsumu. Yer feelings are showing in your music." Osamu said as if he was some kind of genius.

"Isn't art about it, tho?" He deadpanned "Expressing feelings and shit?" He asked, staring them dead in the eye. The males before him shivered because of its intensity. Suna snickered.

"Man says art, but most of his songs are about the Nikes on his feet and the Tesla in his garage." Atsumu mocked "What the fuck?" The blonde barely dodged the moleskine thrown at him.

"Don't chew on me when you do the same, asshat. This is called character development." As unnerving the twins were, he felt a whole lot better in their company "Just lemme produce my sad stuff in peace."

"Cut us some slack, ya dumbfuck. We're just worried about ya." Osamu protested " 'Sides, no wonder no girl sticks by yer side. You know what the chicks find sexy? Seizing the means of production, not yer dumb car."

"You two are so la—" The musician was interrupted mid sentence, startled by the blond figure clutching his phone with enthusiasm.

"Oi Samu," Atsumu's loud voice startled the other two, as he excitedly fisted the air.

"What the fuck?" Suna asked, dropping the Juul on the floor.

"She'll be there tonight." The blond said, looking at his brother with a new wave of joy.

"The fuck? She who?" The brunette frowned.

"Ya gotta go and find out, man." The gray haired twin said with a knowing smile, matching his brother's excitement.

The night out felt somewhat draining. The booze, the music and the company were great, but his lack of energy was a mood killer.

Cheer me up my ass, Suna cursed internally as he observed everyone getting wasted all over the place. He grimaced at the sight, realizing the meeting with the twins was enough social interaction for the day.

He didn't know what's gotten into him. The male knew it wasn't necessarily caused by the break up, but he couldn't help the feeling down.

Right now, life just felt lowkey suffocating. 

Being a public figure meant being under the spotlights the most of time.

People talked.

People assumed.

Media was all over him, ready to catch a scandall.

And of fucking course his name was on gossip headlines. It even occupied a spot on twitter trending topics for a day or so.

"Fuck me." He said before the lukewarm beer went down his throat.

"Sunarin!" He heard Atsumu shouting from his right "I want you to meet someone!" And only now he noticed the blond had his left arm over a girl's shoulders.

Oh, that's the one they were talking about, maybe? the brunette realized. What's the hype, tho? He asked himself, eyeing your figure.

"[Name], this is Suna. Sunarin, this is [Name], best girl ever and the mastermind behind the visuals of mine and Samu's last album" The bleach-haired male said with a proud smirk, ruffling your hair. You were obviously shy.

How cute, the brunette thought.

"Dumbass, don't embarrass me in front of others!" You nudged the Miya with your elbow "Nice to meet you, I saw your name on TMZ last week—" You said beaming and he grunted.

I take it back. Not cute at all, the man internally screamed, not ready to talk about the recent events. He didn't even want to listen to the rest of your speech, your cheery voice went through his ears in a white noise.

"And this makes me really excited for your album. The interview about the collab with dumb and dumber was lit." You continued, the words were genuine and you seemed really interested "And I also relate on a spiritual level because I know working with them is hell."

Oh, she's talking about the album. He realized in relief.

"Yo, I heard good things about you too. The design of their album was hella sick, even though they two suck ass." Suna snickered when he heard Atsumu protesting. You only left out a giggle, joining him on the teasing.

The blond kept ranting about how bad of friends the two of you were.

"I didn't introduce y'all ta gang up on me. Bye, I'm finding another company. Ya two suck." The blonde Miya said, leaving only you and Suna in the sofa area.

"Uh, so…" He drifted off, trying to start some small talk

"Yeah..." You both giggled at the awkwardness "Not enjoying the night?"

"Too much happening right now. Lots of people talking shit 'bout me." He sipped the beer, grimacing at the stale taste of the drink "Hope they cancel me already. So all this shit dies down." Suna looked away, suddenly shy for opening up to a stranger.

"You're a famous guy and the break-up wasn't that scandalous. It'll be over eventually, just beware the sneaker cult." Your amusement was comfort enough. You didn't make intrusive questions about the events and merely joked it off. He felt so worn out by the situation but, at least, your presence wasn't overbearring.

"How is it everyone knows about the jordans?" You shrugged it off, laughing at the distressed face he mocked. Sighing in relief, Suna couldn't deny how refreshing your presence was. Not to be a jerk, but usually, the girls either were all over him or judged every single move he made. You were just that easygoing.

"Well, I don't think you came here to sulk on the sofa all night long. Why don't we join them by the pool and down some shots?" You hopped off of your seat, pointing to the glass doors. All the boys were waving at you two and suddenly, Suna felt a wave of joy run down his body.

Atsumu was right. Best girl ever.

At some point of the night, everything became about you.

All he could hear was the sound of your voice and all the time, his eyes were drawn to your figure. He couldn't figure out a reason for it, but the rapper wasn't complaining either.

A sharp pang at the side of Suna's head broke the trance he was in. Osamu had a shit eating grin on his face, eyeing the ravenette with amusement.

"We told ya so." The younger twin mused whilst he handed a long neck of vodka to the other.

"Stop. This is dumb."

"Yer dumb. But you ain't that dumb ta dare ta mess with her." The gray-haired Miya squinted at him, menacingly pointing the bottle in his hand at the brunette. The latter shrugged it off, opening his drink.

"Nah, I'm good." And he meant it.

But how could he explain the situation he was in?

Lips and hands wandered over the expanse of his skin. Everything was too hot and too good at the same time. Overwhelming, even.

He wanted more, more and more. There wasn't enough of you.

And if it wasn't unfair enough, his body felt lethargic. He was desperate, but couldn't keep up with the rhythm you imposed. Be it the alcohol or the stress, his body gave up and blacked out, even before you could undress each other.

In the morning after, a pounding headache woke him up. Suna didn't dare to open his eyes, but the morning breath fanning over his face was unbearable.

"I can't believe a cutie like you have a stinky breath like this." The complaint came out in a raspy voice, accompanied by an annoyed grunt.

Someone snickered on the other side of the room.

"Man, I didn't know you had the hots fer Samu." Atsumu was somewhere across the room, laughing at him.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Hearing the other, Suna's body jolted, dizziness made his head spin in the process. He felt sick in the stomach and the morning light made his eyes sting. "When did I get back here?" The male looked around, realizing he was sprawled over Akagi's floor, right beside Osamu, who didn't even squirm at the loud voices in the room.

"What do ya mean? We never left" Atsumu frowned, uncaping a water bottle he was holding "Ya puked on Kita and passed out. The boys were too wasted ta drag yer sorry ass back home so we all crashed here." The blonde was dumbfounded, trying to figure out how wasted Suna got last night.

Suna wanted to know too. After all, there was no way the events envolving you were a product of his drunk mind.

facts:

• Suna's artist name is yosemite.

• He has a Tesla Model S because of Frank Ocean.

• He takes his Nikes very seriously.

• No, not all of his songs are about the car and the kicks.

• He and the Miya twins got a sports scholarship because of volleyball, but they dropped out of school to make music.

• The three of them created Inarizaki, the label they're making music under. Kita and Aran manage it.

• Both Miya twins are beatmakers and music producers. They recently debuted as artists and now are making a collab EP with Suna, thus Atsumu's concern about the album.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ THE TALK ❜

First chapter of ‘Someone you loved’ with Michael ‘Riz’ Ariza.

Warnings: none.

Word count: about 1.1k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to my wonderful @sonsofeorl ✨

Masterlist. You can subscribe to my broadcast list, to be notified whenever I post a writing!

Your forearms are rested over the wooden railings of the porch, holding an empty beer between your hands. Your eyes go from one face to another, touring the whole crowded yard. The latin music flows between the bodies dancing all around, in sync with some people singing, laughing or simply talking. You weren't in the mood for a party, but when other charters come to the city, you are obligated to make an appearance. Daydreaming, you can see yourself cuddling with him on your sofa, with a movie on the background and a bunch of kisses roaming your face. In silence, just enjoying each other's company. But, since that new Vicki's girl came a couple weeks ago, you're starting to lose him. All the opportunities that maybe you could have are over. And it's a little painful when your orbs fall into them. Elisa is sitting on his lap, surrounding Riz's neck with both arms. So chummy that your jealousy is consuming you faster than a fire.

Having a last sip from your beer, you let a sigh escape from your lips. You know when to withdraw in time, even if you are already loaded to your fingertips with love for him. Tossing the empty bottle into the trash, you come inside the clubhouse to grab your bag and hide in the Templo. Leaving the door almost closed, you sit on your father's chair on the front of the table. Legs over it, crossed, lighting up a cigarette between your lips. Tilting your head back, the smoke pops off of your throat to the atmosphere in a painful and silent howl. Taking your big headphones, you put them onto your ears playing some rock music, in a crude attempt to forget him enough time until your father tells you that you can leave.

The first song isn't finished when you feel something small and metallic impacts with your face. Concretely, with your forehead. Frowning, you sit up, rolling down the headphones to hang by your neck. Riz is closing the door completely, in the meantime that you're having a heart attack. Carrying two beers, the mexican has a seat by your side on Taza's chair. But not without kissing your cheek first. Offering you one drink, he makes a toast before having a sip and placing his forearms on the edge of the table.

“Didn't know you came, until Bishop told me”.

“Yeah, I ain't… feeling good”. It's not a lie, but it's not the truth.

“I was waiting for you, needing to talk”.

“About what?” You shrug, curling your knees against your chest, as if it could avoid that your heart flew off at some point.

“You know, ah… We're friends”. He says, opening a hand over the wood as a light gesture. Riz puts his gaze away from you, almost biting his tongue while the tip of it presses the inside of his cheek. “I would like to ask you for advice”.

There it is. Your worst nightmare acting in real life. When your brain reconnects, you just nod one time with your chin.

“I think I'm in love”.

You don't know exactly why you are surprised, you had it coming. Drinking from your bottle, you clean your lips with the back of your forefinger. Another nod with your eyes lost in somewhere.

“But she's younger than me”.

“Age is just a number, Riz”. You reply, trying to sound as his friend. Trying to not send him to hell for not noticing that you are totally in love with him.

“Yeah, I know, but… Do you know, people care a lot about it”.

“I don't think so”.

The man turns his body a little more towards you.

“Would you date a guy much older than you?” He raises an eyebrow, seeming interested.

Absolutely, you think.

“Why not?” You say.

“Okay, so… how would you confess your love for someone?”

This can't be really happening. You need the earth to swallow you right now. Drinking again, you lie back against your chair. You don't have to think about it. You have been dreaming about telling him how much you love him thousands times.

“I would tell that… someone that I can't breathe whenever I see him smiling. That his voice sounds like that song I play on repeat any time I feel sad, because listening to that song makes me happy. That the only thing I want to do it's spend the rest of my life by his side. That any time I feel him close I feel butterflies in my stomach. That I love him in his bad moments more than in his good ones”. Your eyes are over your finger, breaking the stick on the beer into small pieces, placing them over the table while your cigarette gets consumed on the ashtray. “That I wish he could see himself as I see him, because I have never met a man like him. That I would give my life for him and that… if I die, I would come for him again”.

Licking your bottom lip, you raise your orbs at his. Riz is amazed. Simply amazed. But a little confused because he has noticed the pain in your voice. Forcing a smile, you shrug your shoulders.

“I think that's a start”. Whispering, you have another sip, before having a smoke from your cig; shaking the ashes into the ashtray.

Now he knows that you are in love too, but he also knows that you don't want to talk about it. So Riz doesn't ask.

“Listen… That girl is lucky that you fell for her. She will not care about age. I told you, I wouldn't. You're more than a number, Michael. You're brave, and loyal. You take care of all of us, even if you think we don't see it. You're the most kind and respectful man I have ever known. And yes… It's your best friend who is telling you that, but it's the pure truth”.

“Thank you”. He mumbles a little nervous, playing with his beer as you were doing some seconds ago.

“Ask her for a date. That's another start. There's nothing wrong with playing the field, Riz”.

“Should I do it now? Is it pretty sudden?”

“It's one am, wait till tomorrow”.

“Okay…” He replies somewhat thoughtfully, putting his eyes on yours. “Okay, that gives me some time to think exactly what I want to say”.

“Yeah…”

“Anyway, you look tired. Want a ride back home?”

“Nah, don' worry. I will walk”.

“Walk? Your house is forty-five minutes away”. He laughs loud, and you pretend yo chuckle because it's stupid, but you don't want to be with him right now, or touch him, or talk to him. “C'mon, baby. Let me take you home”.

You know that you don't have anything to fight against when he begs you, just nodding as you get up from your chair.

[han-shinsuke]

Lately, I noticed some changes in Nishinoya's behaviour towards my brother's friends. He seemed to discern whatsoever I can't figure out myself by just looking at them. Those kids, well, they weren't kids anymore to begin with, are like siblings to me. Basically watched them grow and had good times with them.

"What?!" as long as I can, I will keep my cool even though the mist on the corner of my eyes are already on the edge, "undress." Yuu repeated, forcing me to back away againsts the cold wall of the bathroom. He came unannounced in the training hub and dragged me back home. Luckily, my parents and brother are not around, so there would be no witness. My man had broken his own phone by smashing it in the garage.

"Your room fucking smell like them especially that San Catalina dude! He has his scent all over you." To my dismay, Noya spat and slammed his built against my small ones. Constantly squeezing my body with his fury.

Jealousy has taken over. He was blinded by it and I couldn't do anything to calm him unless, I wear the dress he bought and completely obliged to everything he would have to say.

"I told you, Yuu! They used my room for their final defense and there's nothing amiss with giving them congratulatory hugs!" I pushed him with my hands and he responded by blasting the shower on, drowning our bodies with heavy splashes. "don't make me tell you twice, Rei. You wouldn't like it." He wrecked my clothes from the outer down to the inner pieces, murmuring words meant for hell.

"Fuck. Fuck. You stinks of his scent. I swear I will fucking cut his throat for leaving his stench on my property!" I chose not to speak or drop a comeback or we will both burn each other with our fire. Nishinoya operated me like a doll and washed me thoroughly until the scent that pissed him go away.

"You fucking wear the lilac dress, Rei. I want your legs spread for me when I join you on the bed." I was pushed out of the shower and I just sighed. He's taking a bath and I need to prep myself for him. I blower dry my hair, put on his favorite perfume and wear the damn thin dress that would make his rage diminish.

I sat on my bed and sighed again. The last time I had sex with him was almost a month ago. I remembered joking him to find someone he could get laid on but he bantered expertly and had me sobbing due to his rough movements at his apartment. Damn. Yuu is devilishly good in bed.

"Hmm... pretty," Yuu commented as he walks towards my spot. He was wearing a greyish robe when he situated beside me. "I want you to ride a goddamn pillow for me, Rei. You can do it. I know you can." 

Never imagined Yuu has this kind of fantasy in him. I have been a good girl for him and I have always do whatever he pleases to quench his thirst for sex. There were times when he urged me to watch an adult film with him and then, at the middle of it, he would attack and destroy me really bad. Nishinoya Yuu is an agressive one.

"Y-Yuu... I-I can't." And I'm really scared and it's kinda embarrassing to have a man watch me hump a pillow. 

"Ssshh..." He shushed me with his lips and bit and tugged my red ones between his teeth, "obey me, babe or I will find San Catalina and kill him for real."

The terror and bloodlust portrayed on his face are telling me that I should follow and calamity would be avoided. To be the cause of someone's death was never in my wishlist. Fidgeting, I climbed on the bed and kneel in the middle. Noya, handed me a pillow and sat on the foot of the bed, smirking.

“Part your knees, Rei.” The room temperature increased and so my heartbeats. The pillow was shoved between my thighs and it’s not only my knees that gone separated. My mouth honed an ‘O’ when my cunt came in contact with the edge of the pillow that surprisingly has vibrator inside, “alexa, full speed.” Nishinoya smirked as I trembled. A smart sex toy!

“Aah, gosh!” my hands couldn’t find where to hold or who to hold and that made me, even though it is embarrassing, I ended up gripping my left thigh and right bosom as I rode with the toy’s rhythm, “gosh~ so fast, Yuu aah!” Lust. That’s what he can see in my eyes. Lust and thirst and excitement. Sex is scary. It could turn someone into a complete different person when fed with pleasures and desires.

My eyes were closed but my hands were hard and tight. I gripped the soft flesh and gave little attention to the small pear on the centre, “you are so fucking hot, babe~” I opened my eyes and met his beaming orbs. Nishinoya pointed a finger on the wall and I couldn’t agree more. There’s a full length mirror appended on it. I saw and watched myself in delight. I looked hot while bouncing my cunt and ass against the vibrating pillow and to make the fire go wild, I let go of my breast and let it bounce with the waves that my body is creating.

I was closed but the toy suddenly put on a halt. I sighed and pouted my lips. He removed the pillow between my thighs and thrown it somewhere in my room. Nishinoya discased himself and set down on the bed. His erection was as proud as him. It really looks hard and fat and I couldn’t help but wish to ride it as soon as possible. But the man had other plans in mind. He asked me to sit on his face and I did, “ooohhh~ hold on, Yuu aaahh~ don’t lick me so quick shit.” It was just his tongue that poked my clit but I’m already quivering and humping my core against his warm mouth.

“Cum in my mouth, babe and let me do the work in juicing you dry,” the time he have given wasn’t that enough to grasp the situation fully. He inserted his long tongue into my cunt and swirled and flicked the sensitive muscles that lies in there, stroking the part that had me desperately gasping for air as I squirt in his mouth and filled it with my orgasm. Knowing him, it will take exactly twenty minutes to put Yuu on his high but when it was me, that won’t take long because I don’t have control over it.

“Shit, Yuu~ it feels good~” down on the land, I still hump my cunt against his mouth and he didn’t mind. Instead, he wet my folds and everything in it with his saliva. Licked my labia and sucked the clitoral hood to help me pick up on the another level of heat we were bound to cross.

Nishinoya moaned between his dirty motions and I interpreted it as a ‘go’ to hump and bounce further. Reaching for his hot palms, I put those on my bouncing breast and he grabbed them with needs as he ate and slurped my essence in silence.

The times I moaned and gasped his name couldn’t be measured through counting numerically. It doesn’t matter at this hour and at this fiery moment. He had a grin on his lips when he stopped. I stood on my feet and offered him a hand. Nishinoya eyed me proudly as he watches the juice drips down my thighs down to my ankles. I received a spank from him and I yelped from the sharp pain.

“Spread your legs for me, good girl,” I was put atop of my working desk and he rolled the hem of the lilac dress above my chest and squeezed my other sensitivity with force. I bit the inside of my tongue and wailed in my mind.

“Aahhh goshh~ what the fuck, Yuu!” he spat thrice on my folds and drenched my entrance with it and I have to admit that for a second, I thought it would be a help me accommodate his size but I was wrong. He grown an inch and probably, it gotten fat also or it’s just me loosing the familiarity of his possession. My head bent backwards and the veins on my neck became visible when he goes all the way down to my cervix, bruising it with his thick and hard cap, “Yuuu hhnnggg~” I sobbed at first and then cried afterwards while struggling to push him through his toned abdomen.

But he grabbed my both hands and pinned them above my head while his other hand gripped my neck.

“Yuu... pleaseee aahnnggg~” I was tight and he’s huge and he’s half-choking, half-caressing my neck as he pulls slowly but push harder and deeper.

He seemed to lack of sympathy so he just chuckled over the pain I was feeling by having his length inside me.

“Please, drill deeper and faster? You don’t have to ask, babe~ I always go deeper and faster and harder to make a point and instill the fact that you’re fucking mine alone.” Another hard thrust entered my core and I let out a long wail of pleasure and pain. My legs were trembling really hard with each rough drill and Yuu just laughed it over. Resuming his merciless waves against my hips and there, I realised, I had no choice but to moan, cry and gasp his name. With those, he would reach his peak and I will get a break.

The shaking and moaning didn’t stop even after he reached his orgasm. He unloads his semen and injects his head deeper against my cervix. The first round ended with me crying and shaking and pushing him off.

“Yu–Yuu, pl–please pull out...” and he didn’t. He goes vastly in depth of the place he loves to ruin, “no way.” He says, smirking.