#it sorta turned into general train themed

[theitgirlnetwork]

Earn It

Ch. 3 :

Heaven being a hot tennis (sorta) gf before she saw her (sorta) man lose:

Note: Okay, once again, thank you so much for the love you guys have shown this story. I'm really inspired by Challengers right now and think I have a lot of ideas for this story. Once again, this oc is not meant to be perfect, she is just as messy and just as young as the characters in the movie. She is a college student and will act like an (albeit messy) one. I'm very grateful for all of the replies, likes, reblogs and interaction in general. It really inspires me to see what you all think and see that people are enjoying it. Regarding the tag list, I am going to try this again, but for some reason, every time I do it seems to not work for people, so let me know if it works this time. Finally, MDNI, like for real, not playing, stay out of grown folks business, if I find out you'll be blocked. Love you all and hope you enjoy! <3

Warnings: Sexual content, strong language, slight themes of cheating(idk if it counts yet)

Taglist: @spookystitchery @anehkael @fkaams @butterflyybabe @sun2flower @holierthancunt @silkenthusiasts @wolflover384

“Holy shit.” Tashi murmurs under her breath as she climbs the cobblestone walkway to the address Heaven had given her. This was gonna be their first time hanging outside of the gym or school. Tashi knew they lived in different neighborhoods, but they share a school zone, she hadn’t realized Heaven’s family had money. The girl didn’t seem different from her. They both liked the same games, same music minus the classical that she kept playing that Tashi found herself falling asleep to recently. 

She turns and waves to her dad, trying to encourage him to pull off before she rings the doorbell, sighing as he stubbornly remains still, watching her get up to the door from his car window. 

The large, wooden door opens as some obnoxious bell rings into the house, the noise spilling outside. The sound of heels clacking gets closer and closer until the door opens revealing a woman with a stern look on her face. Her brown hair is slicked back into a bun and she’s wearing a crisp white button down shirt with pressed jeans and heels. Tashi can’t remember the last time she’d seen her own mother wear heels. She looked so…put together. “Can I help you?”

“I’m Tashi Duncan. I’m Heaven’s friend, we go to school together. She hasn’t been in school the last few days, so I have her make-up work. I called and asked her if it was okay if I dropped it off and she said yes-”

“Heaven is training right now. I can take that, and she’ll be back in school when we get back from our trip.” The woman offers a smile but otherwise quickly takes the binder from Tashi’s hands and goes to retreat into the house only to be stopped by a voice behind her.

“Mom, wait-” Out from behind the woman comes Heaven. Her skin is glistening from sweat and her hair is curling at the nape. She’s dressed in a black leotard with worn, tan ballet shoes on her feet. She smiles brightly as she sees Tashi, pulling her into a hug despite her unkempt state. “Tashi, hey, thank you.” 

Tashi is almost hesitant to hug the girl back in front of her no nonsense appearing mother, but opts to return the hug regardless, letting Heaven intertwine their fingers as she pulls back. “No problem.”

Heaven’s brown eyes scan Tashi’s own outfit and her smile drops a little. “Were you about to go play tennis? Mom, Tashi’s the best tennis player ever. She’s gonna be like Serena Williams.” 

“Is that so?”  Heaven’s mom’s brow raises as she looks down at the girl standing at her door. 

Tashi got it. It sounds like a lofty goal. Even at such a young age, Tashi was confident in her abilities. She knows what she can do. But Mrs. Whitlock had never seen her play. If she did, she’d know that Tashi Duncan is tennis. For now, Heaven stating it like it’s a fact is enough to satisfy her. “I just got back from practicing. And yes, ma’am. I’m the best.” 

Mrs. Whitlock looks impressed at that, pursing her lips and nodding in approval before nudging her own daughter. “I’d bet she’s the best because she trains. Which is what you’re supposed to be doing.” 

Heaven bites her lip, rocking on her feet, causing her shoes to make a clack sound on the floor. “Can Tashi watch?” she grabs her mom’s sleeve and pleads harder at the disapproving look on her face. “Please? She’ll help. She helps me run drills at the gym all of the time. I haven’t gotten to see any friends all week. I’ll keep practicing, mom.” Her fingers tighten around Tashi’s in a way that has her clenching back, glancing at her Dad’s car to see him climbing out, noting that he probably hadn’t expected this to take so long. “Please, mom.”

“I can help, Mrs. Whitlock.” Tashi adds. “I promise, I won’t distract her.”

After some begging, from Heaven and promises to be useful from Tashi, Mrs. Whitlock allowed them 90 minutes. As long as Heaven kept practicing while Tashi was there.

Apparently, Heaven’s dance company was putting on Sleeping Beauty and this was the first year that Heaven has been old enough to play Aurora. Tashi learned that last year Heaven had been snubbed for Cinderella and made a Season Fairy instead. In Heaven’s words, if she ‘earned Cinderella, she should’ve been Cinderella’. But this year, there was no excuse. She was a little taller, she was 13 and she wouldn’t let them take it from her. 

“Again.” Tashi says, stepping away from Heaven, folding her arms. 

If she’d thought Heaven’s family had money from outside the house, she knows they do now. Here she stood in Heaven’s ‘dance studio’. She concedes that it’s just a room with mirrors, ballet bars and wooden floors, it looked pretty damn official to her. It’s not like her parents had failed to provide. She’s a member of a tennis team, has two coaches, and frequently attends the courts in town. But to have it in her home? She’d give anything. 

“Water. Then again.” Heaven huffs, walking over to one of the mirrors and grabbing her water bottle. 

The Rose Adage. Arguably the hardest part of Sleeping Beauty the ballet. Heaven showed a video of a professional performance to Tashi and still pointed out mistakes. The dance is all about stamina and balance. As far as Tashi could tell, Heaven had mastered all of it except the last part.

The balance. 

She’s hitting every beautiful move, every pose. But the last part.  The very last part of the dance where Aurora has to rely completely on her partner to be steady enough to guide her as she’s en pointe in attitude pose. She’s essentially meant to be a figure in a music box. Heaven had done it at least 20 times since Tashi had arrived and started being her stand-in partner. 

But her leg. Her damn leg kept quivering in the last few seconds. She doesn’t fall out. She doesn’t lose her position. But her goddamn leg quivers in the turn. Tashi sees it. She sees it. 

Neither of them are satisfied.

“Talk to me about something else. I’m getting annoyed.” Heaven says, taking a deep swig of her drink. She hands the bottle to Tashi, leaving the mouthpiece up for the other girl to get a drink too as she walks off to grab her towel.

Swallowing a gulp of water, Tashi shrugs, sitting on the floor and criss-crossing her legs. “Jacob and Tammy broke up again.”

“Really?” Heaven tosses her towel to the corner and goes over the bar closest to Tashi, perching one leg up on it. Holding true to what she promised her mother and continuing to practice. “They just got back together last week. That means Jacob’s gonna ask you to go to the dance with him next week.”

“Shut up.” Tashi scoffs with a smile, watching her friend stretch. 

“He will.” Heaven hums. “You gonna say yes?”

Tashi laughs, stretching her own back before laying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. “Why would I do that? I don’t like Jacob, he’s boring.” She turns her head to look at Heaven again. “I figured we were going together.”

“Why would you think that?” Heaven grunts as she switches legs. “You haven’t asked me.”

Tashi rolls her eyes, pushing off of the floor and moving back to the middle of the room. “Break time’s over, let's go.” 

“I didn’t take a damn break.” Heaven laughs, nonetheless moving over and getting into position. “You’re not gonna ask me?”

“Straighten your back.”

“It’s straight.” Heaven says, going up onto her single foots, eyes following Tashi as she spins her in place, not even noticing how much time is passing. “Fine. I’ll do it then, come to the dance with me.”

Tashi stops spinning the girl, stepping back once again, this time with a smug smile on her face. “Sure why not. It’ll be fun dancing with a princess.” 

Heaven lowers her foot slowly and as the realization hits her, her own smirk forms on her face. She’d done it. And her leg didn’t shake.

“Let’s show your mom, maybe she’ll let me come hang out more when she sees that I’m basically teaching you ballet.” Tashi jokes, only to be pushed by Heaven.

“Shut up and spin me again.”

“Call me when you make it back, okay?” Heaven smiles, removing her arms from Tashi’s neck and stepping back. “Love you.”

“You call me when you get the lead.” the girl smiles back, pulling Heaven in for a brief peck before walking over to get back into Patrick’s car. “And I know.”

Art doesn't manage to look away in time for that one, but quickly turns his head away as Patrick pulls the girl in, teeth grinding as he hears their lips separate. 

“I’ll visit after the first leg of my tour.” His friend mumbles behind him. Art can feel his lip curling as he tries to work a neutral expression onto his face. As he looks at the car he can see Tashi looking back at him with a pensive stare and immediately turns his back to say his own goodbye. 

He tries to wait until Patrick is standing at the window of the passenger seat, speaking to Tashi to pull Heaven a little further away. “Hey, are we gonna talk about before?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Heaven.” Art says, a pleading in his voice that drags her gaze back to him.

The girl shifts on her feet, glancing over his shoulder at the car and back at him. “Okay, we kissed. So what?”

“So what? Is that how you feel about it? So what?” Art asks, the hurt in his voice is clear as he looks down at the girl, brows furrowed in confusion. “I’m just saying we had a moment.”

“Fuck.” Heaven breathes, shaking her head. “Yeah. Okay. Are you gonna tell them?”

He straightens at that. He wants to say yes. He wants to be selfish, and ruin whatever the fuck is going on between the three of them. He doesn’t even know what he’d do once he did, he just knows he wants whatever this is, with them, to stop. 

But how can he? Looking at her face, pleading up at him. Watching her all morning, curling into Tashi and Patrick like it would undo what happened the night before. Like it would change the looks they’ve been sharing over their shoulders all morning. “You asked me not to.” he says softly.

Heaven nods quietly at that. “Thank you.” And with that she turns, arms wrapped around herself as she goes to climb the steps to get to her building door. Art watches her back. When he gets in the car he’ll make something up. He’ll say he just wanted to make sure she got inside safe. He definitely wasn’t waiting, hoping, praying she’d look back. Give him one more look. Something. 

She doesn’t.

But a few days later while he’s on the court practicing with one of the guys from the team, thinking for the twentieth time that Patrick may have been a little right wasting time considering he was absolutely destroying the kid with about half of his effort, he gets a text from an unknown number. 

12:41 p.m. : I got the lead.

He can’t help the smile that starts forming when he sees it on his screen.

“Donaldson, are you up for another set or what?” 

Heaven huffs in irritation as her leg bounces on the bleachers. Shifting in her seat again her cheek dimples with a frown as she watches Patrick’s racket go flying. “Fucking ridiculous.” she sighs, crossing her legs.

She’d been in school for a couple of weeks now and Patrick had a match not too far from her. She’d decided to be a good..whatever she is to him and come out and show some support. Tashi is preparing for her own match coming up, and to be honest, his performance on this leg hadn’t been impressive enough to encourage her to want to come see. 

Heaven was trying to be supportive. Despite his broke boy act, he had sent her flowers to her dorm the week of her auditions. So had Art, something that the girls in the dorm had been scandalized by when they realized the cards were not addressed by the same person. Tashi had called her to remind her of her schedule that week, meditated with her over the phone. She wanted to give the same support to them.

When the match ends she’s already reaching for her phone and sure enough, its vibrating in her purse. “I know.”

“Did you see that shit?”

“I know. I don’t know what the fuck he’s doing. Seriously.” Heaven stands from her seat, scooting passed the small crowds of peeople and making her way down the bleachers.

“Fucking around. He gets lazy-”

“In the third, yeah. He was better than this guy.” She squints to see him storming his way into the building to go the locker room and starts following him. “He’s pissed.”

“He should be embarrassed.” There’s the sound of something snapping closed on the other end and Heaven knows Tashi slams her laptop. “He was off screen for me, how are you seeing him?”

“I drove out here, it’s pretty close.” She says, balancing her phone on her shoulder with her cheek as she pushes the door to the building open and starts looking around for the men’s locker rooms. “Figured he could use the support.”

There’s silence on the other end of the phone for a moment and Heaven pauses in her steps, waiting for Tashi to say something. “Hm.”

“What?” Heaven sighs, leaning against the hallway, waving away an employee politely that seemed alarmed that she was on her way into the men’s locker room. “Babe, what?”

“Nothing, I’m sorry you didn’t get to see a win. He wasted our time. You could be rehearsing.” 

“S’fine, he just needs to get his shit together before-”

“I’ve gotta go.” Tashi cuts in. “I’m gonna hit the ball with Art. Hang out a little, we’ve been busy. Tell Patrick to call me later.”

Tashi hangs up before Heaven can say anything else. Breathing out in irritation, she pushes off of the wall and enters the locker room, putting a hand over her eyes and laughing at the men either scrambling to cover up or pausing to check her out.

The guy Patrick just played against wraps a towel around himself, making his way over to her with a smile. “You lost, sweetheart?”

Keeping her hand over her eyes she giggles, making her voice sickly sweet. “No, I’m a really big tennis fan, and I wanted to see if I could get that really hot guy Patrick Zweig’s number.”

“What?” He asks. 

One of Patrick's tourmates peaks his head out from behind a locker and rolls his eyes. “Zweig, your girlfriend’s here.”

Heaven can’t help but think to herself that as Patrick rounds the corner he doesn’t know exactly who he’s talking about. It makes her wonder, is that what she is? She, Tashi and Patrick have been hooking up since after his match with Art and it’s been fun. She likes him. He’s funny, and snarky, talking to him has been like…being with a male Tashi. 

But does she consider herself his girlfriend? Does he? She knows he dumped the girl he’d been seeing when he’d met them, but does he still hook up with girls while he’s on tour. And even then, is she a stop on his tour? 

Suddenly, she’s feeling a little like what she was just pretending to be. A groupie.

“Oh fuck yeah, hey.” He grins when he sees her. He’s changed out of his clothes from before into a ‘fuck you’ t-shirtand sweats. He immediately throws his arm over her shoulders, knocking her hand from in front of her eyes and replacing it with his own. “What do you think this is? A peep show? Huh? I missed you.”

Heaven laughs as she lets him guide her out of the humid room out into the hallway again, once they’re there, pulling his hand away and hugging him. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He smiles, pressing his lips to hers. Heaven pushes up onto her toes to meet him, giving him a few more pecks before pulling back. “You came up here by yourself?”

Translation: where’s Tashi. “Yeah…but, um, she wants you to call her later.”

“She was watching?” He asks, placing his arm back around Heaven and walking them back outside toward concessions. “Okay, so you both saw, that was bullshit, right?”

Yeah, we saw some bullshit. Heaven squints, trying to read the menu at the stand despite the sun beating down, trying not to look Patrick in the face. “Did you get tired or something?”

“No, but the calls were fucking stupid, they were robbing me.” 

“Hm.” Heaven raises one shoulder and drops it, turning back to the man at the stand. “Small vanilla ice cream please. 

Patrick laughs humorously, reaching in his pocket and pulling out his wallet. “Large.” Turning back to Heaven he shakes his head in disbelief. “You guys are just alike, you know? What does ‘hm’ mean?”

“I just think you could’ve beat him, he was fuckin’ scared of you the first half of the match.”

“I should’ve won.”

“I agree.” Heaven huffs, crossing her arms. 

Patrick, raises his eyebrows and throws his arms out a little, “Okay, so…”

“I just think you didn’t because you didn’t care to. It got hard so you made the decision to give up.” 

The older man in the stand clears his throat, holding out the cup of ice cream out with one spoon, eyeing the arguing pair. “Did you all need another one?”

“No.” Patrick says, shoving his hands into his pockets and turning to leave. “She can have the whole damn thing.”

Heaven’s eyes widen as she watches him walking away toward the building. She grabs the ice cream from the man walking over to a bench just outside of the courts. 

He’s walking slowly. He doesn’t wanna really leave. He’s just fucking like her. 

“I’m not fucking gonna chase you, Patrick.” Heaven chuckles, scooping some of the ice cream into her mouth. She watches from her seat as he stops. “And you’re proving my point. But I drove all the way here to see you. Are you gonna leave me on this bench?”  When he doesn’t immediately turn, Heaven nods to herself, taking another bite. “M’not getting up, Patrick.”

She watches as his shoulders rise and fall with his deep breath and he turns to face her again, marching back over and sitting roughly on the bench, jostling her a little but she keeps her face neutral. “I should have won.”

“I still agree.” Heaven says, scooping some of the treat onto the spoon and holding it to his mouth, knowing he was cooling off when he accepts it. “So why didn’t you?”

The brown haired man just sighs, dropping her head back against the bench with a thunk, staring up at the sky. “I dunno.”

“He was pissed at me.”

Art nods his head along as he steps out of the shower, wiping the condensation gathered on his phone on the towel before wrapping it around his waist and bringing the phone back to his ear. He knocks his hand on his suitemate’s door to let him know he’s out of the bathroom before he makes his way to his own room, closing the door. “He didn’t leave you out there, right?”

“No, he just did that thing he does, you know, storms off. But he calmed down and we had some fun. Could’ve done without the fight though.” 

Art wets his lip as he places the phone on speaker on his desk, letting Heaven’s voice fill his room. He never asked her what made her get his number from Tashi’s phone. He figured he shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. They’d been texting every day since he’d gotten it, talking on the phone every other day. They’ve talked about everything. 

Where they’re both from, their families, interests outside of tennis and dance. He learned her favorite colors are baby blue and bright orange. That she used to want to cheerlead too but her mother made her choose ballet because she preferred it and said she couldn’t do both at the same time. That her dad left when she was two but she has a great relationship with her stepfather. 

She learned that while Art loved tennis, he’d tried to quit his boarding school three different times when he first got there, but each time he’d won a match and the sport pulled him back in. That he, despite complaining, loves seeing his grandma because she was the one who really raised him because his parents were busy. That he always wanted a younger sibling but never got one, so when he was still at the school, he and Patrick would help teach the younger students tennis when they weren’t dicking around. 

What she doesn’t know is that he could do without talking to her about dating his best friend.

 “I’d bet.”

Heaven laughs ruefully on the other side of the phone, and the sound has him melting immediately. Sits at his desk, letting himself air dry as he listens to her giggles ring out. “I’m being shitty. How’s school, Arthur?”

And that sends a shiver down his spine. He clears his throat, sitting up as he stares at the phone as if she was in its place. “It’s good, you know, I’ve been staying busy. Between classes and tennis. The guys here are kinda shitty, beating them doesn’t really mean shit.” 

“Well, not everyone can be Art Donaldson. You must be hanging out with Tashi too much, you’re sounding cocky over there.” 

“Nah, it’s just that bad,” he says. Determined to steer the conversation away from Tashi, Art thinks hard. “What ballet are you doing? I gotta make sure I know what I’m watching when I come watch you.”

“You’re supposed to watch everyone so you can understand the story.” she says. He can hear the sound of creaking letting him know that she’s climbing into her bed. Art follows suit, pulling on his boxers and pushing up into his own twin sized bed.

“Heaven, if you’re there, I’m gonna be watching you.” he breathes, smiling to no one but himself.

There’s a soft, ‘Okay’ on the other side of the line, and then nothing. Just the soft sound of her breathing. When they have moments like these Art feels the sting of knowing that he lost to Patrick and in a way Tashi, that day in a different way. I should’ve won. I don’t know why I didn’t win. All I’ve done since then is win. “So, um, we’re doing Romeo and Juliet. Off the record I think the choice is corny, but as a principal dancer, Juliet, I love it and can’t wait to do it.” 

“Lucky Romeo.” he jokes, earning him another breathy laugh. He can’t help it. He tries not to say anything and clenches his jaw tightly, kicking himself for opening his mouth again. “I’m sorry, did you tell them that you got the lead?”

“Art-”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. It’s just…you drove out there for his match. I couldn’t even go. Did he ask you how your auditions went? Did she?” 

“She told me I should rehearse, that’s how we talk to each other.” she says.

“And him? Did he ask?” 

“I’m not talking about this with you, that’s not why I called, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t vent to you about him. Or her. I know how you feel about her.” Heaven sighs.

“Do you know how I feel about you?” He asks. Silence. “Heaven, come on-”

“What would you do differently?” 

“Wh-” At first he doesn’t know what she’s asking. And once he realizes it, he knows she’s made it vague on purpose. Giving him an out. Giving herself an out. Asking too upfront would make it too real. But he wants it to be real. And he’s not gonna miss this opportunity. “I’d have been there the day you auditioned. You have a process and I know that, so I’d have called you before. Wish you luck. Tell you that you were beautiful. That I knew you’d get whatever part you wanted. And then I would have been there when you got out. I would’ve given you flowers. I’d tell you I’m proud of you. And I’d take you to get dinner.”

“Okay. Where?”

“We’d get your cheat food. And I couldn’t have it because I’m starting my season and I know you wouldn’t let me, but we’d get seafood and ice cream, and take it back to your room because you were probably so tired.” Art pauses then, waiting to see if she wants him to stop. He would stop, if she wanted him to stop, he would stop. This could be innocent. This could be advice from a friend who thinks she deserves better. But, that’s not what he wants. That’s all he thinks he has to offer her. “Heaven?”

“I’m…still here.”

“And…” Art thinks back ironically to all of the times Patrick has told him to take what he wants. To be forward and put himself first. “We’d take a shower together. I’d kiss you and massage you while I got you clean. Because, you deserve to relax, and you worked hard. And you were probably so sore, baby.” He hears Heaven’s breath hitch and shifts on his bed, continuing tentatively. “I’d touch you so good, Hev. I’d massage your breasts and kiss your neck. I’d mark your perfect skin. I…I’d want people to see it. To know who made you feel like that. To know who took care of you. I would put my fingers between your legs and make you feel so good. I’d hold you up so you don’t have to do anything. And I’d watch your face while you come for me.”

Art can feel his own labored breathing. He tries to tune the sound of himself out, only wanting to hear the whimpers that have started to come from his phone. He swallows back the last ounce of guilt he has as his hand slides down into his shorts, grabbing himself and biting back a moan as he thinks about his hands on Heaven, hearing her in his ear, feeling her under him. On top of him. Any way she wanted. 

“Fuck.” she gasps.

Art bites his lip briefly, willing away the jolt in his lower abdomen that comes from her sound, muscles flexing as he seizes upward slightly. He slows his hand on himself to a stop, pulling his hand out. Not until I hear it. Not until I get her there. “I’d carry you to your bed and lay you down. And I’d start at your feet. I’d kiss my way up your beautiful legs. People dream about your legs, Heaven, I dream about them. When you dance, when you walk, the way they look…fuck-” he groans, digging the hand that hadn’t grabbed the phone into his hair. “I’d push them apart and put them on my shoulders, and I’d taste you. I know you taste amazing, baby. I’d do anything to taste your cum.”

“Art-” she whines, and he lets his eyes slip closed. Behind his eyelids he can see her. In the bed, touching herself to him. Biting her pillow and crying out his name. Arching her back because it feels so good.

“Tell me it feels good, Heaven, please.”

“I…it feels good, Art.” 

He’s close. He can tell, with every sound she gives him, he gets closer, barely holding it together. He needs more. Just a little more. “Again.” he demands softly.

“You feel so good, Art.” she cries before dissolving into gasps and whimpers of his name.

He almost feels like he blacks out. Art doesn’t think he’s ever come so hard in his entire life. He literally rolls over onto his side to try to catch his breath and quiet his moans. He doesn’t think he could live it down if his suitemates came knocking at his door and he had to explain that he was trying to get his friends’ girlfriend off and accidentally worked himself up to the thought of taking her on a date and eating her out. 

Then there’s quiet again. The only noise is their shared rapid breathing crackling through the phone. They stay like that for a few minutes and Art thinks about how badly he wishes that it wouldn’t be absolutely crazy to tell her he wanted to drive the hours to UCLA, do exactly what he said on the phone and then hold her while they fall asleep. But, he knows better. And she speaks.

“I have to go.”

“Yeah.” Art breathes, sitting up grabbing tissues from his desk and starting to clean himself up. “I know.” 

He’s not gonna be the one to hang up. He wants more. He wants her voice. He wants her breaths. He wants to falling asleep on the phone. If she’s ready for the call to end, she’s gonna have to end it.

But she’s still here. 

“Art, I did tell them and…I don’t really know why but…I told you first.” 

Click.

[surveillance-0011]

Every HOL 2 + Comic prediction I have

Possible spoilers ahead. Some of these I'm very much convinced about, others are more general statements or spitballing/guesstimates.

In general:

We find out where the hell Lizzie and Kenny are

We see what remains of the G3+ more of how they've impacted space

Funny mission control in the form of Clug's kids + Gene. He was literally gonna blow us up to keep the house.

Maybe seeing Krimothy or Gene's nephew

More stuff abt Gene + whatever he's got going on, too

More Torgs maybe?

Bounty Hunter will probably remain a very self insert-y character and therefore be more of a blank slate while the Gatlians get center stage but we might get more on them... maybe something abt their parents

And. Lezduit. Did you fuck my mom Lezduit?

The Comic

Takes place pre-High on Knife

Follows (at least partially) the bounties that have been done pre DLC (the ones on the screen)

Gurgula plays more of a role or shows up as some sorta easter egg in the bg

Actually shows what's up with Creature

"Redemption" We are totally getting stuff about Kenny

and maybe similar themes with Harper? if the Task Force led to her doing some fucked up shit

And ofc who knows maybe. applies to creature lore. If not that then maybe the "lost love" in the blurb is referring to this... hm...

Though it's not following the G3 I'm going to assume we'll be seeing Merkaloids and other G3 grunts doing other odd jobs and the remnants of the Cartel + power struggles before it crumbles for good

Uh. Maybe bonus G3 chapter at the end? Or at least mentioning them + filling more in for sake of worldbuilding. maybe this is copium but i want moar... moar G3. please. waughh

HOL 2

Lez might come back late game once the parents get back from their road trip. Maybe he'd be used for a challenge mode/bonus gauntlet instead of the final boss.

If we don't see what's going on with Lizzie in the comics we'll certainly know by 2.

Maybe Gurgula got a hold of her or Gene or the BH's parents as a way to play on Garmantuous trying to hurt who the BH "loves most" but it's not a celebrity cameo this time

Either Kenny-Harper dual wielding or Kenny gets an upgrade that's not quite Lezduit level but makes him a more advanced gun.

Alternatively maybe the perspectives switch between BH and Lizzie? BH keeps their guns and there's chapters or otherwise ways to switch perspective to continue to the story with Lizzie, Kenny, and her own group of Gatliens. This would eventually lead to the two reuniting and being able to choose who to play as and what combo of Gatliens you like to complete the game. This is pretty ambitious and most likely too clunky but something like this could be on the table.

And if you don't get to play as them I do like the idea of Lizzie turning up ok with Kenny in tow

May or may not be accompanied by a joke w/ Kenny saying he's got a frog in his throat or some other meta commentary. Then again given the circumstances to why the change would be made this might be in poor taste. We will see.

I mean really after what she did to Tweeg if you follow that path then I'm sure she's gonna end up getting in on the bloodshed. Really thinking she'll fight along side you or maybe against you at some point if she gets brainwashed or something (maybe unlikely but as a splatoon fan I'm Used To This Happening by now)

And by now Gene's legs r probably gonna grow back or be just about enough to walk with?

Knifey keeps the chainsaw obviously. maybe another modification or two to switch out?

Flamethrower + Sniper Rifle Gatliens, sticky + smoke bomb trick hole or mechanism

Being able to meet + save more Gatlien survivors even if they aren't playable

Maybe a shooting range/training room to hone techniques

More standalone bounties while the Bounty Hunter tries to track down Gurgula on their own terms

Gurgula is from Australia III or IV or. yeah just another Australia. Maybe the original first Australia planet... hm...

More Australia in general

More Gurgula also :3c this is a given but I am very much excited 2 see him. I think unlike Garmantuous he's probably not going to try to check in on us or anything and it's more cat-and-mouse-y.

The game will probably be a bit more grim, esp when the focus is on Gurgula. Not too gritty, but certainly more in line with the secret ending and HOK's more morbid/scary moments.

that being said I need to see him lose his mind as he gradually gets totally tired of everyone else's bullshit and comes to the conclusion that he's in a game chock full of nerdy stoner comedy.

There will probably be a joke about/reference to CWC it'd be funny if Gurgula was actually super wowed by all of that. Not disgusted like actually just. wow. the depths of the human mind.

I've said it before but I am certainly thinking they may kill off Gene or Lizzie. Knowing how calculated and cutthroat Gurgs is I'm pretty sure he'll be targeting them eventually and even if he doesn't with some of the themes of redemption we've been seeing here I'm thinking we're gonna see some people we like go.

In general i hope the game does not shy away from more emotional moments and allows shit 2 get real grim. After being thrown for a total loop in the secret ending and the pretty well done bits of horror around the reveal of Mux in HOK i do hope we get some real gut wrenching bits where we see the real depths of depravity with Gurgula :3c and just knowing that. shit is fucked.

[dayseternal-blog]

One your asks inspired this thought of out me.

Idk if Icebergs are still popular, but does a NaruHina Fic Iceberg post sound fun to you?

Basically, there's like 5 or 6 tiers (there should be a template readily available in google images) and you assign specific media (in this case, NH fics) to each tier, descending from tame tho troubling to 'stare into the abyss'-level awful. 😅

I'm just super curious now, haha. 🤪 Baiee~

I worked on this for a couple of days! Fun~

uhhh click for hopefully better quality?

The order of the fics within each category sorta matters to me, but if I thought about it harder, I'd probably change things around, so the order's not that important. And in general, the categories go from NaruHina getting hurt, to NaruHina hurting others, to NaruHina hurting each other. With a few exceptions! But if someone else were to rank this, they might categorize things differently.

It's all just my feeling. As you can see. By the category titles.

Congratulations to Sessakag, Sadistic One, BlackMajjicDuchess, and DemonOfTheFridge for scaring me the most hahahahahaha 💀

Looking at this and one would think I love freaky stories lol

I read it for the curious cat to be killed.

I have all the stories linked below :)

Darkly Mysterious, Worrying 😥

“White Kunai” by @magmawrites - Rated E, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. A series of violent rapes and murders targeting long, dark haired, young women have caught the attention of the Hokage. Her plan? Use a qualified, long, dark haired kunoichi as bait. The only one that fits the criteria? Hinata.

“a home is a dream” by bluebeardsbrides - Rated M, Modern AU, One-shot. Naruto Uzumaki returns home with all the force maelstrom, three days after her husband’s disappearance and six years since she went and stumbled on Neji’s body floating in the creek downtown.

"Dark Shift" by brown phantom - Rated M, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. After a solo mission goes horribly wrong, something happens to Naruto. His mask of happiness turns dark and cruel, and he turns against the village he had sworn to protect. Can he be returned to normal before it's too late?

“Distorted Minds” by Cheating Death - Rated E for graphic violence, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Her lavender eyes slowly opened, her vision blurry and distorted for a few moments as she tried to look around. It was then that she realized that she was suspended a few inches off the ground, her wrists cuffed in cold, metal shackles that hung from the ceiling.

Disturbing, Unsettling, Cursed 😶

“Asylum AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by magmawrites - Rated M, Modern AU, One-shot. What’s to say what’s real and what isn’t? The only thing that’s valid and true in all universes is their love for one another.

“Burn The House Down” by @secrettastemakerland - Rated G, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. Naruto shrugged, not really having an answer. He had tried to tell her they had bigger problems.

"Go Home, Start Again" by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated E, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. My submission for NH2020 February's theme "Time Loop".

"Stay" by @nightowl27-writer - Rated E, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. The basement holds much more than ashes and secrets. As urban legends come to life, people begin to disappear, and a city sits on the brink of disaster. When everything seems to be falling apart, will Hinata find the answer to the question she is terrified to ask?

Weird, Shocking, & Crazy 🤪

“His obsession” by agitosgirl - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto loved her, he loved her with everything he had and more. And when he gets back from his training trip, he’s going to show her how much he cherishes her. And she is going to be with him. Whether she wants to be or not isn’t really her choice.

"Qui Laudavit" by Avelona-and-Sally - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. One side-effect of having a demon sealed in you is a taste for blood. Another is the ability to make living and dead alike do your bidding. Which comes in handy when your girlfriend keeps dying.

“October - Horror” by @chloelapomme - Rated T, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. When despair turns into a feeling of love so intense that obsession is the only thing that can help you protect the one you love.

“Her” by browniefic - Rated E, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto’s had a lot of obsessions in his life. But he knows she’s different.

"A Woman's Heart" by Ookami88 - Rated E, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. Naruto lies in hospital in coma. Sasuke is locked in prison for his crimes. Hinata comes up with a plan that will ensure her beloved man's happiness, no matter how much it'll cost her.

“A Love Never Seen” by HoneyWriter78 - Rated E and has rape/non-con, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata Hyuga attend Konoha High she is part of the athletics group. She is friends with Ino and Shikamaru but is secretly in love with Shikamaru who is oblivious and loves someone else. She tried to fight her feelings not noticing that a certain senpai has had his eyes on her…

“There’s a new psycho on the block” by agitosgirl - Rated M for mentions of sex, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete/Inconclusive Ending. What happens when it’s Hinata who’ goes crazy? Years of torment and abuse by her family’s hand have caused this young girl to lose her mind, and to top it off, her mother left her a gift that will make her enemies, or just anyone she chooses to target, regret meeting her.

"Lost Souls" from "NaruHina Month December 2022" by @sessakag - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, One-shot. They set off on a journey that’d one day bring them back to their place of birth, and on that day, they’d enact the plan that had given them a sense of purpose.

"Ravenous" from "NaruHina Month December 2022" by sessakag - Rated E, Modern AU, One-shot. “Hinataaaa,” Naruto pouted, leaning inside the open bathroom door, “you ready yet? I’m starving!”

Explicitly Appalling 😨

“Side Effects” by Cheating Death - Rated E for smut, dub-con, & non-con, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete.  You can easily skip the rape and non-con without compromising the plot, the author warns you before it happens. When Naruto and Hinata decide to participate in a high-paying clinical study, they wind up signing up for much more than they bargained for.

“Serial Killer” by Raven Young - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. She’s a Sociopath. She’s a Supermodel. She’s a serial killer. She’s a girl in love. She is Hinata Hyuga. And he is her undoing.

“I want you to cry” and its sequel “I want you” by Devahhole - Rated E for graphic murder (character death), dub-con/non-con, and smut, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. A sociopath blinded by revenge runs into his greatest opponent.

"Naruto: The Mating" by SeventhShinobi - Rated E, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Now, Naruto has discovered the an ability called "The Mating." Come see what he'll do with his new found power

Seriously Distressing 😰

“Powerless” by bunny-hoodlum - Rated E for a lot of things, like depictions of violence and character death. Multi-chapter, Incomplete. His family’s past can’t be taken at face-value, and it comes clawing back to hurt him in ways that are out of his control.  DELETED FIC.

“Listen To Me” by SullyR - Rated E and includes domestic abuse & non-con, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata is terrified out of her mind. She has no choice but to listen to him or else he gets physical, and by physical, she means fast!

“Nightmare” from “Nice Legs, Daisy Dukes” by Star-Child-Yeci - Rated M, Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. “Why do you got that in your hand, huh, pet?” The words slid off his tongue, and she shivered.

Chapter 6 from “Naruhina Oneshots” by @powerful-niya - Rated E, College AU, One-shot. A new college student finally enrolls into her new school, with the help of a handsome blonde male. He helps her and cares for her which she appreciates very much. But bad rumors about him break out and eventually reaches the midnight blue-haired woman making her feel skeptical about their friendship. But cutting ties is hard, especially with a guy who already has you, under his boot.

Wtf Horrifying 😱

“Monster” by Sessakag - Rated E, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. Naruto, a celebrated war hero, finds himself, once again at the forefront of the fight, but which side is he on this time? Love. Tragedy. Happiness. Heartache. The growing pains of becoming a man, have molded, shaped and brought forth a new Naruto Uzumaki.

“Insanity” by Sadistic One - Rated E for GRAPHIC MURDER, College AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. The smell of his cologne and slight musk was the first thing that caught Hyuga Hinata’s attention. She eventually found out that smell belonged to a young man named Uzumaki Naruto. Ever since that encounter, she couldn’t stop following him and watching his every move. She needed to know who he hanged out with, his hobbies likes and dislikes. She even transferred to his school to study him more closely. But as those months went on, she discovered Naruto was not who he portrayed to be to his peers, but a cold-blooded murderer. Is this enough to put a stop to Hinata’s obsession or will it draw her closer to her own insanity?

“Breeding Season” by BlackMajjicDuchess - Rated E and has rape/non-con, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Completely out of pattern, Kyuubi leaks free and causes terrible destruction that Naruto cannot suppress. There is a solution, but it comes at a terrible price.

“Honeymoon” by DemonOfTheFridge - Rated E and has rape/non-con, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto always left on a secret mission once a year for a whole month. A curious Hinata finally had enough and followed him to an underground house. A house she finds herself trapped in, with a dark Naruto. Curiosity Killed the Cat.

This was so entertaining! If anyone agrees or would order things differently, let me know~

[brushstrokesapocalyptic]

Hi there! Would it be alright to ask about what your plans for the bnha magical girl were? No need to answer this if you still plan on going back to it ofc, but its been a few years since it updated and I know you mentioned in the past you had the general gist of it planned out, so I'm curious about where it would've gone from where you left off. Thank you for writing it btw, its still one of my favorite bnha fics to read :D

Mmmmmmmmm yeah at this point I don't think I'm ever going back to it. It's unfortunate, because I had some pretty extensive notes and a whole ~twist~ planned, and I figured my attention would circle back to BNHA someday, but it just never happened! So sure, I can give a loose summary of what I had planned.

I will say before I get into it that, like some other stories I've started in the past, it fell into a trap that I like to call "Canon But A Bit To The Left" which, as the name suggests, is a fanfic that's basically the exact same story as canon just with some superficial details changed. That's a big part of why I lost momentum, once I reached the part of the series that would've just been retelling canon events but with magical girls— I tried to get creative with it, but nothing fundamentally changed, so it wasn't all that much fun. As such, I'll primarily be focusing on what's actually different/The Twist, because that's what's fun to explain.

So! The twist is that Izuku has a quirk. It's the ability to grant Magical Girl Transformation Objects. He does not know he has this quirk, he's doing it completely subconsciously.

His own Transformation Pen manifested out of nowhere when he was like 4 years old, and it sat in a drawer somewhere until he rediscovered it. The general theme of the other people getting their pens is that something they did impressed Izuku somehow, causing him to subconsciously go "yeah this person is worthy of Power"— Uraraka fights a goose, Todoroki catches a mugger with his ice, and other stuff.

According to my notes, the plan was for Iida to get a pen too, during the Stain incident. Iida would refuse to have any part of the whole Magica stuff, though, because that's ILLEGAL. Izuku figures out that it's a quirk sometime before/during the whole training camp thing, and uses it intentionally for the first time as part of a plan to rescue Bakugou— he can sorta sense where his "chosen" are, or at least their pens.

I went back and forth on whether Bakugou has had a pen all along or if Izuku granted him a pen on the spot; I swear I had foreshadowing indicating Bakugou had one all along but I can't remember which fic it'd've been in. There's some parts I'd rewrite to align better with that if I could, but alas that is no longer on the table.

The most recent arc at the time of me writing BNHA Magica was the one introducing Eri, so that also got included in my vague disorganized outline. The FULL extent of my notes there are a quick little description of Izuku granting Eri a pen so that he can track her the same way he tracked Bakugou.

After this, I resolved to, quote, "CATAPULT MYSELF INTO THE ABYSS" and stop following canon. I then did not write down Any specific events beyond the bounds of canon. Good work, Past Me!

Some more disorganized things, uh... The way the Magical Girl Quirk works on Izuku's Chosen (including himself) is it essentially transfers their own quirk into a magic wand, replacing it with a pile of minor passive quirks. Stuff like mild superspeed, strength, agility, a dash of spidey-sense, aaaaaaaaaand fast healing. Or possibly the ability to share damage between everyone involved! I thought it was a very fun creative idea at the time, and it does suit the actual nature of the quirk being them all getting linked to Izuku, but it's also Really involved. My notes on it mostly involve Izuku getting Grievously Wounded during Training Camp but turning out mostly fine, but all his chosen experiencing Very Intense Fatigue as he saps their energy to regrow all the bones in his left arm. IDK if I'd've kept it in the end.

The other big thing in my notes that I'm not as sure about in hindsight is the idea of Izuku getting One For All after all, just, like, Late. It kinda ties in with the healing thing; I had the idea that he kinda reflexively shares the Overwhelming Power across the entirety of his network so that it doesn't make him Explode, but it does possibly result in synchronized Arm-Breaking. But idk about keeping that, I might've just found the image funny enough to write down.

Aaaaaaaand I think that's the extent of what's worth sharing from my written notes. To cap the post off, here's the (very incomplete) concept art! Not everyone represented here was Actually going to get a pen, I just sorta went wild and/or thought it would be funny.

[thebossestunicycle]

Final Flash Update: an actual review

The DCEU has always been very hit or miss for me, but it has a special place in my heart. When Man of Steel came out, my dad was OBSESSED with it (still is), and it became the first superhero movie I ever watched. Despite the mediocre scores internet-wide (and how the terraforming scared the shit out of me as a kid), I cannot help but love that film to death. It really sparked my interest with superheroes and just ‘nerdier’ stuff in general.

While the DCEU opened me up to the whole world of superheroes, it also became part of what made me so weary of comic book movies. While there were good movies like Wonder Woman (2017) and (hot take) Black Adam, and great ones like the Snydercut, there were also huge disappointments that left me feeling pissed off when the theater lights turned back on. It’s not like all of these movies are downright horrible in every way (exception being 2016’s Suicide Squad), but each seemed to have its own form of kryptonite. The Justice League (2017)’s being its lack of character development; Wonder Woman 1984’s forgettable plot; and of course, Batman v. Superman’s Martha scene.

With the DCEU’s track record, the over saturation of superhero media, and with Ezra Miller being… Ezra Miller, my hopes for this movie were extremely low. But I actually left the theater feeling pretty.. decent?

Here are my main takeaways. Spoilers ahead:

Plot + Characters

As of now, I haven’t noticed any critical plot holes, which is pretty great, especially considering it’s a multiverse movie and all. Everything that blew up in Barry’s face was tied up nicely. But I am sorta curious to see how moving the tomato can caused Ben Affleck to become George Clooney.

The time mechanics were also pretty neat, like how a new future creates a new past.

I kinda like Barry a lot. He’s wicked awkward but it’s funny to watch.

Younger Barry too! He was such an airhead in the beginning that I was shocked to find out he was the guy that our Barry kept seeing when he time travelled.

I found Keaton’s Batman entertaining too. But the whole time Keaton didn’t really seem like he was trying to act. He just looked happy to be Batman again, which I can’t blame him for. On that note, I wish Bale’s Batman made a cameo somehow.

I was underwhelmed with the Zod plot. I was ready to watch him totally kick Flash’s ass. I didn’t mind Kara, but again she was a bit underwhelming too.

I got excited when Zod mentioned discovering Clark in his pod somewhere in space. I was like “Oh shit, did they take him in and train him to fight for them?” Seeing an evil Superman would’ve been crazy, but nah, they just killed him instead. Lame-os.

Effects / CGI

Oh man, I did not enjoy some of the choices made here.

First of all, the deep fake cameos. And also, deepfaking people like Adam West and all, who are dead, is a little odd. However Nicholas Cage showing up was very funny.

Then there was the CGI in the Speedverse (?? correct me if that’s the wrong name). It was video-game level. I felt like I was watching a skyrim-inspired acid trip.

Even outside of speedverse, the quality was really spotty.

Action

Oh my god, it’s so refreshing when there’s even the tiniest ounce of creativity in fight scenes (Looking at you, MCU).

Diving deeper into Barry’s powers was cool and seeing him fight with (and then against) himself was neat!

Then there was also pretty standard Batman stuff that I’m a sucker for

NEEDED a better Kara v. Zod fight. I wanted lasers. I wanted them to go to space. ANYTHING

Overall Emotional Reaction

Both Barrys hit hard a few times. The desperation to fix everything. Having to let go of their mom and accept their fate(s?). The scene when he said goodbye to her for the last time was pretty sad.

The themes were simple: accept your past; pain makes us who we are; etc etc. But there’s nothing really wrong with that.

The jokes landed! I laughed with, not at, most things

…Okay, I did laugh out loud at some things, like the deepfakes and when the Barrys phased for the first time.

But yeah, it was really enjoyable to watch. The runtime wasn’t an issue at all. Dull moments were rare (though I didn’t give a single shit about Barry’s dating life at all)

Final Score:

Characters: 7/10

Plot: 7/10

CGI: 4/10

Action: 7/10

6.3 / 10

If I had to rank: above Black Adam, below Wonder Woman

but seriously can they just recast flash already. I wish ezra miller all the best on rehabbing themselves, and they really do a great job with the character, but it’s like they’re trying to get a jail sentence with everything they’ve done

[calculated-chaos]

AI Art thoughts

AI art has engendered oodles of strong opinions in a short amount of time. The attackers and defenders both have good points, many of which get stampeded over in the impassioned discourse. I'm still hashing out my own thoughts, so this post is essentially thinking with my fingers.

Artists are important.

Art is important.

I've seen artists on both sides of the AI debate.

AI can be a fantastic tool for the artist if they feel comfortable using it. I've seen artists use the AI-generated art to inspire their own creations. A partnership, of sorts.

On the other hand, it's clearly disconcerting for an artist to suddenly feel irrelevant. It's hard enough to make a living doing art. Where will commissions come from if everyone can just generate the art they want?

Having said that...as a user, it's not actually that easy to generate the art I want. The more specific my desired output, the harder it is to conjure up.

I recently saw a Kickstarter project for a game where the creator used AI art as placeholders, with the stated intent to use some of the Kickstarter funding to commission original art. That struck me as a good use of both tools, AI and Kickstarter.

AI expands the means to creativity to many who didn't have it before. It's democratization, with the attendant benefits and pitfalls. The printing press contributed to higher literacy rates, which in turn contributed to the rise of the penny dreadful. Ups and downs; pros and cons.

There's a lot of misunderstanding in the discourse, IMO. Many of the freakout posts seem to not quite get what "scraping" and "training" actually entails, or the scale of the data. Honestly, I probably don't either.

Much of the hysteria seems to stem from a visceral sense of unfairness. There's a sense that art should be hard. Art should take days or weeks to make. And once the artist has done that, it's infuriating for them to think of an AI blithely copying their work, smooshing it around with some other art, and spitting out something sorta-kinda similar (but worse).

And yet...how much of of any one artist's work is actually in the final result produced by the AI? That's the real question. It's going to vary with each and every prompt. If you use an artist's name as a prompt...yeah, it's going to be highly derivative. But if you don't...I don't see as much of a problem.

I think there's a way to use AI bots ethically. Example: I made a calendar for my brother for Christmas this year. He's got a side business where he sells hot sauce, salsa, and other chili pepper products, so I generated several artsy pictures with a chili pepper theme. All of my prompts were very general, like the example I posted a few days ago. I asked the bot for chili peppers/plants in pointillism, film noir, art nouveau, and so on, without specifying artists' names. Just the styles. And I took the best results, uploaded them to Shutterfly, and had them made into a calendar.

Were any artists hurt by that? I don't think so. I created a unique product that wasn't for sale anywhere else. If I hadn't come up with this idea, I would have gotten him something other than a calendar, most likely.

Now, can we talk everyone into using AI ethically? Doubtful. People have been misusing tools since the first time Thag the caveman used his spear to stab Ogg. I don't have a good solution.

[scaredpigeons]

Dark Necessities

Levi x Fem!OC

Word count: 12.6k

Synopsis: in an AOT AU where we just… don’t talk about the bad stuff… Rae is a short, sweet Cadet who joined the Survey Corps at 13. Now 18, a drunken dare puts her right into Captain Levi’s line of sight. What happens when you put two intoxicated pining idiots in the same room together? This mess and more.

This is the prelude to a much larger smut series, including my other fic, when its love if its not rough it isn’t fun, which i will link here.

WARNINGS: NSFW 18+ minors DO NOT INTERACT

Age gap, Smut, dubcon? (both parties consumed alcohol) dry humping, grinding, mentions of knifeplay(sorta), (proper)choking, swearing, Levi writes poetry, Marco is alive and adorable, masturbation, fingering, mentions of virginity loss, mentions of blood, slight overstim, alcohol consumption, Erwin Smiths massive hands, sex, creampie, lil bit of degradation, pet names, themes of bdsm, levi pretty in love lol.

TRIGGER WARNING: Rae is turning 18 in this fic. Levi does indeed mention starting to have less than pure thoughts about Rae when she was 16 yrs old. He knows it was gross and creepy, we know its gross and creepy, it’s just a tidbit of information that adds to Levi’s general shame about his attraction to Rae. Levi does NOT act upon those thoughts, and in fact mentions the fact that he drank himself stupid with the guilt of even having them.

I don’t need to explain why I really enjoy writing and reading sorta skeevy sketchy age gaps for my pairings, if it is something that bothers you, please click away. I kindly remind everyone that you are responsible for the content you choose to consume. Thank you and I love you😊🖤

"I dare you to sneak into the Captains office and find out what's in those little black books he keeps locked up!" 

 Rae usually wasn't so stupid. She would swear on her life, her mother raised her to have a sensible head —always held high— on her shoulders. 

 Apparently all she needed to lose her sense of right and wrong (and stupid) was a little (a lot) of good old fashioned Liquid Courage. 

 Rae had never really celebrated her birthday since joining the scouts. It wasn't important; she had to train, to learn, to protect and see what the world had to offer. Working closely with section commander Hange however…left little room for secrecy. 

 All the higher ups had access to everyone's files, of course. So when the weekend of Rae's 18th birthday was approaching, Hange was practically vibrating. 

 "Raaaaaaaeeeeeee~" 

 The girl in question rolled her eyes at her paperwork, knowing what was coming. 

 "Yes, Hange?" 

 They smirked, grasping Rae's shoulders from behind and giggling in her ear. 

 "A little birdie told me someone's turning 18 on the weekend~" 

 Rae sighed, smiling. "Did the little birdie also tell you that someone has never made a big deal about her birthday, and isn't planning on starting now?" 

 "But this..!!!!" Hange paused, flailing their arms in front of her face. "This is your 18th!!! You're becoming a woman!!! It's to be celebrated! Not ignored!!" 

 Rae couldn't help but scoff, "Hange, you said the same thing about the first time I bled. And besides— Jean’s 18th birthday was a month ago, why didn't we celebrate for him, huh?" 

 Hange laughed then, a sharp giggle followed by a snort. Adorable. 

 "Everyone knows boys don't become men until age 25." 

 They rounded the table, grinning like a madman. 

 "And besides..." they said, fiddling with their overdue paperwork. "I got you a couple presents~" 

 ——

That's how a small group of her closest friends ended up drinking Hange's "presents" (which ended up being three very large bottles of cheap, but very effective liquor) after dinner in the mess hall. 

Rae leaned against Jean, who leaned against Marco at the end of the bench seat. Across the table, Mikasa and Armin were giggling at Eren, who could not hold his liquor to save his life. 

 Beside them Hange was giggling at Moblit, who was swearing up and down that he was NOT drunk, despite his slurring words and reddened cheeks. Off in the corner, Ymir was sipping her drink, watching Historia tell a very animated story. 

 Sasha and Connie had disappeared a while ago into the kitchens, searching for food to help reduce the future hangovers. 

 Suddenly, Hange and Moblit were banging a tune on the table, drunkenly singing an old dancing song. 

 Jean suddenly jumped up, nearly knocking Rae over in the process. 

 He looked from Marco to Rae and back, before turning completely to Rae. 

 "RAEBY!" He shouted. "You MUST dance with me immediately!" 

 Rae giggled and grabbed his hands, hoisting herself up less than gracefully. 

 They stumbled their way to the middle of the mess hall, and Jean began twirling her around. 

 Rae lost herself in the lyrics of the song she'd never heard and the warmth spreading through  her body. 

 Hange and Moblit chanted along with the pounding of their fists on the table; something about a girl from a far away land, cool breeze on warm skin and an unforgettable smile. 

 Jean grasped her waist tightly, holding her hand as he jumped around with her. 

 Laughter surrounded them as they stumbled around together, and Rae could say with confidence she had never been so light. She was high on happiness, on the joy of being around people she loved. 

 The song was reduced to just the beat and a wordless tune, and Jean twirled Rae out of his arms into the open space in front of them. 

 "DANCE SOLO!!!" Hange screamed. 

 The warmth in her cheeks did nothing to stop her hips from moving. With her arms raised high, she moved herself to the beat, earning whoops and hollers from the drunken audience. 

 She jumped and twirled, her boots long forgotten by the tables, sock clad feet slipping on the cool stone floor. She spun and spun until she hit a wall. 

 Only the wall caught her. 

 "Careful, Cadet." The wall said. 

 Rae looked up at Commander Erwin Smith with hazy eyes and a warm face. 

 "Commander! You're not a wall!" She giggled. 

 "Might as well be." A whiskey-warm voice mumbled behind them. The Captain. 

 The rest of the room fell quiet, all eyes focused on them. 

 The Commander chuckled and guided Rae to a table, letting it stabilize her while he took a box from Levi. 

 "Hange informed me that today was your birthday, Cadet Williams." He smiled warmly, handing her the box. "It was insisted upon by them that because this birthday you become age of majority, a gift was necessary." 

 His formality and Captain Levi's cold stare of indifference almost sobered her up. Almost. 

 "Commander! This is... an honour, really. You didn't have to." She took the note from the box and inspected the inscription. 

 "To Cadet Rae Williams," the Commanders strong and loopy script began, 

"Congratulations on reaching your 18th year. Observing your progress as a scout has been a wonderful experience. We all look forward to many more years of your dedication to the cause. 

 Sincerest Regards, 

 Commander of the Scout Regiment 

Honourable Leader of the Survey Corps 

Erwin Smith." 

 And Just underneath, in scratchy, hastily scribbled black ink, a simple "-Levi" 

 Rae smiled, a strange warmth blooming in her chest before turning to the box. Wrapped meticulously in plain brown paper, tied up with a bow of twine—that had to be Levi's handiwork. The commander lacked the patience for such delicate precision. 

 As careful as her shaking fingers could, she unwrapped the gift, and gently lifted the lid from the top. 

 She gasped rather loudly as her eyes fell upon the brand new boots. 

 Fine leather, moisture resistant lining, the perfect shade of brown. 

 She lifted one of the boots from the box, inspecting the sole, hoping, praying-

 "I believe I overheard you expressing an interest in the 5cm lift impact absorption soled boots, yes?" The commander said, looking intently for a reaction. 

 Lost in the joy of the evening, Rae seemingly also lost her senses, squealing, and throwing her arms around her commander's waist, nuzzling her face into the soft cotton of his shirt. 

 "Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! Fuckin’ amazing I don't even- ugh!" She all but shouted into Erwins stomach, "I don't deserve so much kindness." 

 Everyone's eyes were wide with shock, as if a man had been struck by lightning. The silence was interrupted by Captain Levi roughly clearing his throat. 

 "Ahem- well," the Commander was red now, placing his obscenely large hands on her shoulders (-when did his hands get so big? Why hadn't she noticed before?) and creating an appropriate amount of space between himself and Rae.

  "I'm very glad that you enjoy your gift," Erwin started. "But I think the lot of you had best cool down now. It's getting rather late, I wouldn't want you waking the other cadets." 

 Rae gave an exaggeration of a salute, scrunching her nose at Erwin with a little smile. 

 He smiled back and made his way towards the exit. 

 Levi lingered, glaring at the group, Especially Rae. 

 Eren in his intoxication, boldly shouted to the Captain, "Hey Levi! How's it feel knowing Rae's gonna be taller than you now?" 

 The laugh that bubbles from Rae's throat could not have been held back, even without the presence of alcohol in her system. 

 And oh, if looks could kill, poor Eren would be dead a million times over. 

 Rae and Levi were the same height exactly. 160 precious centimetres from the ground, yet Rae herself lacked the intensity and intimidation that made Levi seem taller than even Erwin at times. 

 Levi moved towards her, getting in her personal space, perhaps for the first time ever. 

 Rae breathed in, he smelled of lavender and mint, like campfire smoke and crisp air before the rain breaks. She might have enjoyed the scent of him, if not for the fear coursing through her. 

 He leaned in, right next to her ear, and she swore she could feel her blood rush downwards. 

 "Don't think you're special," his low voice rumbled in her ear. "He bought me the 7cm soled boots last month, limited edition charcoal black." 

 And with that he was gone. Like a feather, whisked away in the cool breeze. 

 Only it wasn't cool. 

 It was suddenly very, very hot in the mess hall. 

 "Alright! Who's up for a game of truth, dare or drink!" Hange shouted. 

 And that's how Rae ended up creeping down the hall dedicated to the Higher ranking soldiers' offices and living spaces. 

 She knew where the Captains office was, Hange had her deliver reports to him quite frequently, but this... this was dangerous. 

 The door was cracked open, and when she looked in, only soft moonlight filtering through the curtains greeted her. 

 The captain's office was almost... homey? The large window facing the training grounds let lots of natural light illuminate the desk and chair in front of it. The east and west walls of the room held massive ornate bookshelves, the wood they were made from was strong and dark. 

 Beside the bookshelf to the right, a closed door, perhaps his living space? 

 To the left, a small green couch and tea table, placed upon a faded royal purple rug. 

 There was an extra chair by the doorway, with a little end table beside it, holding a couple books, their dog eared and worn pages showing they were well loved. 

 She let the door fall back, cringing when it creaked, but didn't shut. Rae scanned the room for her target- 

 -there! The second shelf on the right, glass doors, usually locked, were now open, barring the contents of the shelf to the room. 

 She glanced at his desk, the keys he carried everywhere were set carefully next to one of her targets. The little black books. 

 Ever since joining the corps, rumours had floated around about Levi's collection of books—some would say they were journals, filled with names of cadets who'd caught his rage, cadets to be punished at a later time. 

 Others would say the books were a set of novels, with covers painted black to hide what he was reading. 

 Giggles circulated about what indeed Captain Levi read in his spare time, from gorey horror to sappy romance, people guessed it all. 

 The book on the table was open. A pen laying next to it. So she supposed it was a journal of sorts. 

 That was enough, right? She could go back now, safe and sound, and tell the group the books were journals. 

 Right? 

 The more she thought, the more Rae knew it wasn't enough (especially for Hange) and the more her curiosity grew. 

 Rae leaned over the desk, turning the journal towards her, eyes flitting across the black ink. 

 "For as fair as she is with my yearning to touch her 

I shall not wither such a flower, this acid rain will not water her roots

Silk soft upon raven's wing, a gaze burning like ice 

I too burn to sink these claws within the snow of her flesh

Little white dove of my caged heart

To tear her apart and crawl within 

In the prayer that her soul might warm me

The cold within me burns for her, yes 

So my distance I keep close to my chest 

I will never tarnish such a being 

Being the creature that I am" 

 The click of the door closing pulled her from the page. 

 "Speak of the Devil herself." 

 Rae whipped around, facing Levi. 

 His shirt was ruffled, untucked, the top three buttons undone. His left hand held a half empty bottle by his hip, liquor much more expensive than what she'd been drinking earlier. 

 She'd slightly sobered up during the game, sipping water and munching on crackers with Sasha, but the heat in her cheeks felt oddly reminiscent of earlier in the evening, when she was laughing and dancing with her friends. 

 Rae stuttered when she finally spoke. 

 "Captain... I'm-" 

 "Shut up, will you?" He barked. While Levi brought the bottle to his lips and pulled more liquor in his throat, Rae found herself wondering aimlessly what it might feel like to be liquid fire coated in glass. 

 The Captain finished his swig and toed off his boots, kicking them to the corner. They stood out against the still perfection of the room. 

 Rae forgot to breathe as he made his way towards her. She was at the front of his desk, her bottom pressed against the edge. She thought if she could slip into the wood of it and disappear, she just might. 

 But that was irrational and irritatingly impossible. 

 So she stayed incredibly still as he finally stood before her. 

 He looked her up and down, "You're lucky." 

 "P-pardon?" She squeaked. 

 "You're not wearing your boots. I don't fuckin' like dirt in my office." 

 "Oh, right. Sir." 

 He leaned forward, and the bottle of liquor was placed audibly on the desk. 

 Only he didn't move away. 

 His hand stayed resting upon the desk beside her, the other coming to match it. She was caged in. 

 "You've been drinking," Rae whispered, eyeing his mouth, the moonlight behind her revealing a slight sheen on his bottom lip, from where he'd licked off residual liquor. 

 He scoffed. "So were you, only I wasn't celebrating." 

 She finally met his eyes, which were hooded, but no less intense. 

 "What was your reason for drinking then, Captain?" 

 His eyebrows raised and a low hum vibrated from his throat. "Breaking into my office, then asking personal questions like that? Quite bold tonight, aren’t we?" 

 His leg shifted forward, his knee coming between hers. The touch sent shockwaves up her spine. 

 "I'm always rather bold, Captain, if you acknowledged my existence for more than two seconds at a time, you might've already known that." 

 Was she flirting? Had the cheap booze eaten at the part of her brain dedicated to self preservation? 

 Rae was unsure. All she knew was that she was hot. Levi standing so close made her feel hot. She had spent years working on her confidence with soldiers of higher authority, she was not about to be intimidated by him now, despite the aching between her legs. 

 His stare bore into her soul, and she thought a whisper of a smile crossed his lips. 

 "I've been watching you since the moment they shipped you to this dump." 

 Her heart stopped. What was he saying?

 "I'm not some predator, calm down." Levi chuckled darkly at her startled expression. 

 "I saw potential in you, strength. A good head on your shoulders, actual fucking brain cells to rub together." 

 Her cheeks burned. She'd always had a little crush on Levi, he was an idol to many younger cadets who showed up to serve. But ‘Humanity’s Strongest’ didn't have time for little girls still needing to grow up, still learning about life. But knowing that he had actually noticed her all these years... her heart swelled. 

 "Why didn't you...?" She murmured.

 "Why didn't I say something? Take you under my wing? Train you personally?" He questioned, tilting his head side to side mockingly. "Because I didn't need some little brat being groomed under me, losing all their sense because 'humanity's strongest' sees potential." 

 His face came closer to hers, and she could feel his breath on her skin, smell the whiskey on his tongue. 

 "And Maria, did I thank myself for that. Two years ago, the day you came back from your summer leave; your hair had grown and... your hips... fuck, I nearly drank myself to death trying to chase the disgusting thoughts from my head." 

 Rae knew he could feel the hitch in her breath, because he smirked, eyes dropping to her lips before returning to her eyes. 

 "You just kept getting smarter, wittier, stronger, I knew if I had sunk my claws in you when you were young, I would have ruined you." 

 His eyes rolled back into his head then, out of displeasure or something else, she couldn't be sure. "And now... you're 18... and Glasses won't stop squawking about how you're a woman now, how you're grown and strong and ready for the world." 

 He moved forward, and took a long deep breath from the base of her neck to her earlobe. 

She shivered as her blood continued it’s sprint southbound. 

 "Drowning my demons isn't working, Rae." His hand came to her throat, almost touching, a breath away from meeting the delicate skin that was quivering in anticipation for it. 

 “Intelligent men know demons can swim in liquor, Captain.” She whispered into the heat between them.

 He scoffed. "Men are disgusting creatures, their minds are drowning in filth, they take what they want and they-"

 "What about what a woman wants?" She interrupted. 

 Levi's eyes widened as she pressed her throat into his hand finally, closing the distance he so stupidly left. 

 "As a woman, am I not allowed to decide-" 

 Apparently interrupting each other would be a common theme for the evening. 

 Levi crashed his lips into hers.

 He consumed her senses, filling her entirely until all that ran through her mind, her lungs, her veins, was him. 

 She let him, Walls, did she let him, and she almost cursed herself for how good it felt. 

 His lips were soft, plush and smooth, so unlike the chapped and rough lips she'd chastely kissed before. 

 There was nothing chaste about the way Levi’s tongue dipped into her mouth, about the way he sucked and nipped at her lips like a man starved. 

 He tasted like liquid amber, like fire and sin and everything Rae hadn't known she'd needed until now. 

 When he finally pulled away from her, a small string of saliva pulled and broke between their lips in the moonlight. 

 Rae could feel his ragged breath across her face, and through the fog in her mind, could see the way he was practically vibrating in front of her. 

 "You're shaking." She said; quiet and small. 

 He looked from her glistening lips to her eyes, wearing an expression of wonder that she'd never seen cross his features before. 

 "The thought of kissing you has haunted every dream, nightmare and waking moment of mine for some time now." 

 She smiled softly, despite herself and her current situation. 

 "You're quite talkative when you drink, Captain." 

 His face darkened then, the kind of dark that shot straight to her core, her breath stuttering with something much different than fear. 

 "Liquor loosens lips and legs alike, I suppose." 

 If he were anyone else, his smirk would have earned him a playful slap on the shoulder. The captain moved before she could even react. 

 His hands found their way to the plush of her hips, and his leg between hers lifted up, up, up, releasing a soft whine from her throat as he pushed her core against the hard muscle of it. 

 Her hands flew to his forearms as her hips moved and slid against him, and he captured her lips once again. 

 Levi greedily swallowed her moans as he guided her hips to grind down on his upper thigh over and over, giving her the sweet friction she craved since he first stepped close to her. 

 "I want to ruin you." Levi breathed against her lips. 

 "Please," she whispered between laboured puffs of air. 

 His hands gripped her hips harder, and she prayed she'd have bruises in the morning to ghost her fingertips over- a reminder that she hadn't been dreaming. 

 "Fuck-" He cursed, and she could feel the hardness in his pants rub against her hip as he moved with her. 

 She almost asked if what he felt was akin to the screaming pleasure racing through her body, but with each push and pull and grind- her vocabulary packed it's bags and left, leaving behind only broken curses, soft pleas and his name. 

 "I want to tear you apart," he growled. "I want to break you, fuck into you until you scream, until you cry, until you forget your own name." 

 She keened, the pleasure was building in her, turning her eyes blurry and filling her brain with deep, lust filled fog. 

 She cried out into the still air of the room as he grabbed her legs, throwing them around his waist and driving his clothed cock against her core. 

 As her back hit the solid wood of his desk, she surmised that if it were anyone else, she might have giggled at the inherent virginal silliness that was dry humping. 

 But the way Levi's hands guided her hips to slide her core over his cock was anything but virginal or silly, regardless of the layers between them. 

 Rae looked at Levi, and despite their shared height he seemed to tower above her, eyes glazed and brow furrowed as he took and gave, pushed and pulled. 

 "I'll fucking destroy you, little girl." His voice was strained now, and the thought that he was just as gone as she was wound the coil inside her even tighter. 

 "Please... Captain, I..." 

 He reached for her then, his cool fingers wrapped themselves around her throat; proper this time, gripping the sides deliciously. 

 "I want nothing more than to fill you up with everything disgusting and rotten inside me. To rip you open and tear what innocence you have left from your pretty little insides," 

 He was truly killing her now, the words tumbling from his mouth was the most she'd ever heard him speak, he was usually so silent and stoic- save for punishing disobedience and stupidity. 

 "Captain," she murmured. "I'm gonna-" 

 Her thighs trembled as he continued grinding against her, his words dripping sickly sweet venom into her very soul. 

 "I want to coat your insides with my sin, my shame. I want to mark you, to fucking claim you." 

 The pressure between her legs was growing too fast, she clawed at his wrists, the one by her throat and the one still guiding her hips. 

 "Levi-" she croaked. 

 He groaned, "I'll carve my fucking name into your perfect skin if I have to. So anyone who dares to touch you knows who you fucking belong to." 

 Her orgasm seemed to dip a toe in the water, teasingly testing before it was to jump into the cool depths, away from the hot summer's day. 

 "Levi!" She cried, "I'm-" 

 "Mine." He growled. 

 And the wave crashed over her, shocking her whole body until her vision blurred white, soaking through her mind and panties alike. 

 An orgasm that strong was meant to be savoured, and so Levi kept going, working her through it with no regard for himself. 

 The shockwaves of pleasure pulsed and pulsed, around the third wave she found her voice and let loose a broken sob. 

 Levi cursed under his breath, the hand at her throat returning to her hip, then he leaned over, latching onto her neck, biting the soft skin between it and her shoulder. 

 If she hadn't been so caught up in her own pleasure, the ringing in her ears, the wetness seeping through her underwear, she might have noticed the growing damp spot on the front of Levi's pants, and the way he groaned into her skin as he slowed the grinding of their bodies. 

 As he stopped, the only sound in the still air of his office was their heavy breathing. 

 Rae thought it was rather shameful that the roof covered the dark of the sky, that she couldn't look up at the stars and compare them to the ones that had just flashed behind her closed eyes. 

 She waited until the air she pulled into her lungs was smooth and unlabored before she looked at him. 

 It seemed as if he himself was looking up at the stars, glassy eyes full of wonder, face content and euphoric. 

 Only he wasn't gazing upwards, through the roof. 

 His eyes met hers as soon as she looked up,  As if he had been looking the whole time. 

 Ever so slowly, she sat up, and he seemed to unfurl himself from her, like flower petals unravelling from the safety of their buds, and he stepped back. 

 Her head was swimming with everything and nothing, too many words to speak, yet no voice to push them into the air. 

 They seemed to stare at each other for eternity. His eyes held more emotion than she'd ever seen in him before. 

 Suddenly, everything came crashing down upon her. 

 Captain Levi had admitted he'd seen her potential from day one. 

 (Captain Levi writes poetry?) 

 Captain Levi was attracted to her. 

 Captain Levi had kissed her. 

 (Poetry, actual poetry. And it was actually really beautiful?!?) 

 Captain Levi had made her cum without removing a single article of her clothing.

 Captain Levi was surely far more intoxicated than she was. 

 All the racing thoughts blurred together into one (stupid) resolution: 

Captain Levi surely could not have meant anything he'd said, he was only drunk, and would surely regret everything when the sun rose. 

 Right? 

 He must have seen the gears turning in her head, the fear in her eyes, because he took a step back. 

 It was a small, shuffled step, one that any sober person would've realized he did not want to take. 

 Really—if anyone else was in the room, they would have seen how his whole body leaned towards her, as if she had her own gravitational pull. 

 It was as if when he held her, touched her, tasted her at last, it wasn't enough—and it would never be. 

 Rae was much more coherent than Levi was, but still drunk. So that step that Levi took confirmed her every fear. 

 And she ran. 

————

She knew she'd fucked up. 

 Rae was a smart girl. She'd made some questionable decisions as of late, but she would always take pride in her intellect. 

 So the next morning, when she'd woken to the screaming sunlight, and a pounding headache, She knew. 

 But it seemed the universe just wanted to keep reminding her, over and over again. 

 Her day off was spent showering, nursing her hangover with the blackest cup of coffee she could brew, and a trip with the girls to the wildflower fields for an afternoon picnic. 

 Her headache was nearly gone, and the cool breeze sifting through the flowers and long grass helped clear her mind considerably. 

 The huge willow tree they sat beneath kept the sun from her eyes, and shone dappled golden light onto her beautiful friends.

  Rae assumed the trouble from the previous evening was behind her, she could think about it later. The walls in her mind had built brick by brick in the night, caged doors and the issue locked tight behind them.

 She tucked her hair behind her ear, pulling it over one shoulder to messily braid while Sasha arranged the snacks she'd prepared. 

 They were all in their casual clothes, a treat often taken on their days off. 

 The women in the Corps were all beautiful and powerful, but sometimes they just wanted to feel pretty, you know? 

 Mikasa donned a beautiful dust pink dress, one she'd purchased a few years ago for a semi-formal dinner the commander had brought a few of the top cadets to. 

 Her red scarf laid delicately across her shoulders like a sort of shawl, complete with sheer white stockings and her brown boots, she looked like a completely different person; less rigid, more at ease.

 Historia and Ymir seemed to colour coordinate, Historia's baby blue bell sleeve cotton dress complimented the blue of Ymir's new slacks, her crisp white button up matching Historia's little sheer white gloves and sun hat. 

 Sasha had a high necked cream coloured blouse tucked into a burgundy mid length skirt, and she'd worn a couple of the bracelets she and Connie had made from little beads and twine a couple years ago.  

 Rae had opted for a pretty outfit as well, not that she had many. Her white off the shoulder blouse looked lovely tucked into the pine green longskirt she bought last autumn. 

 The women had chided her when she'd shown up for the walk, they had to wear that colour almost every day of the week! Ymir had sarcastically questioned if she'd given up on having an identity outside the scouts. 

 "I think it's nice!" Rae defended. It was flowy and soft, it suited her figure. "I happen to like this colour." 

 Pine green reminded her of hope, of flying through the tall trees, and it brought a strange warmth to her chest. 

 She chuckled at the thought as her fingers pulled through her tangles, twisting the three sections together. 

 She had just pulled a loose ribbon from her skirt pocket when Mikasa piped up. 

 "Rae, what's that on your neck?" 

 Rae furrowed her brow. "What?" She touched her throat, feeling for any bumps or scrapes. 

 "No, not there," Mikasa scooted closer, her cool fingers lightly brushing against the smooth skin covering where her neck met her shoulder.  "Here." 

 "Woaaah! Rae!" Sasha said, nearly crushing the bread to get a closer look, "it looks like something bit you!" 

 Rae's thoughts filled with the smell of lavender and warm embers, the taste of whiskey and mint lingering on her tongue. 

 The flimsy walls she'd drunkenly put up last night broke, and all the memories from Levi's office came crashing through. 

 Rae winced when she looked at the mark, blood rushing to her face, setting her ears on fire. 

 In her memory, the Captain had nibbled on her neck while she was at the height of her climax. The mark on her neck told a different story. 

 Angry red teeth marks surrounded a fading purple bruise. 

 It was so bad. 

 But holy fuck was it hot. 

 Rae mentally slapped herself. She couldn't think like that. She just needed to forget about the whole thing, and it would be okay. 

 She quickly flipped her braid over to cover the mark. "Oh, it's nothing. I've been scratching in my sleep, it's really not a big deal." 

 She quickly tied the end of her braid with the ribbon, trying to calm the flush in her face. 

 Ymir noticeably rolled her eyes. Historia gave Rae a knowing look but kept quiet, nibbling on her slice of bread with jam. 

 "You sure? I've seen bites before, this one time, Connie and Jean had this competition where they-" Sasha started. 

 Mikasa cut her off gently. "You're okay, right?" 

 The genuine worry in her friend's eyes touched her, and she suddenly felt a sickening guilt for the lie she was forcing herself to tell. 

 "I promise, I'm okay." She said (semi) sincerely. 

 Mikasa looked like she wanted to press more, but nodded once, and went back to helping Sasha dole out the cutlery. 

 The day ended without further questioning, and Rae felt like she might be in the clear. 

 Then the week proved her wrong. 

 Hange fell ill, and Moblit was too swamped with their combined paperwork to take over training and extra duties. 

 Erwin made the delightful decision that Hange squad and Levi squad could merge for the week while Hange recovered. 

 Which meant captain Levi would be training her, overseeing her extra duties and activities, assigning jobs and chores as he saw fit. 

 She cringed with images of him subtlety punishing her for her transgressions in his office; assigning extra stable duty, dishes every night, making a fool of her during sword training; using her as an example of poor form, (she really needed to work on her grip strength) or even pairing up with her during hand to hand training for an excuse to kick her into the dirt. 

 In all honesty, by the end of the week, she would have preferred all of that, and worse compared to what actually transpired. 

 It was as if she didn't exist. 

 He didn't look at her, didn't speak to her. When assigning partners for sparring, assigning duties and chores; he referred to everyone by their last names, not even glancing from his clipboard.

 Her only solace through the entire week was Marco. 

 The man was some sort of empath- Rae was sure. She didn’t speak a word about the turmoil coursing through her, but it was as if Marco knew; just by looking at her. 

 Mid-week, Rae was brushing her horse Alistarr when he came up behind her. 

 Rae and Marco were incredibly close, and had been for nearly 5 years, so when a warm pair of hands wrapped themselves around her, and a mop of dark hair flopped onto her shoulder, she only jumped for a moment before relaxing into his hold. 

 “This week has been hell,” He sighed. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I miss Hange.” 

 Rae chuckled and wriggled from his grasp, dropping the brush into Alistarrs’ bucket. 

 She turned to him, giving him a proper hug. He slumped over her, giving an exaggerated whine. 

 “There there.” She giggled, patting his back. “Oh, you poor baby. I know, I’m feelin’ it too.” 

 He laughed, pulling back to look at her. “How are you doing?” 

 She smiled brightly at him, bringing a cool hand to his cheek.

 “When I get to look at this cute freckled face, how could I be anything but happy?” 

 Marco must’ve seen her smile not reach her eyes. 

 Her round cheeks were swallowed by his palms, and he began giving quick gentle kisses to her face. 

 Rae was a very physically affectionate person, and thankfully most of her friends were too, or at least put up with it. 

 And if Rae was over the top with her affections, Marco was over the clouds. 

 He kissed the tip of her nose, both of her cheeks, and a big exaggerated one right in the centre of her forehead. 

 She giggled as he swiped his thumb across a tiny bit of spit he’d left behind. He stepped back, crossing his arms and eyeing her dramatically. 

 “Seriously Rae, what’s going on?” 

 She turned to put away her bucket. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m completely fi-“ 

 She was cut off by Marco’s screech as he fell to his knees. Before she could react, Marco was flying towards the ground from a swift kick to the head. 

 “Bodt,” growled Levi. “I don’t remember writing ‘fuck your fellow cadets in the stables’ into your schedule today.” 

 Marco groaned, rubbing the side of his head. “We were just-“ 

 “I have eyes, cadet. Keep your hands to yourself and get your ass to the kitchens.” 

 Marco stood slowly, glancing between Rae and the Captain. “But sir, I’m not assigned to kitchen duty until 4.” 

 “Well I just decided you’re doing a double shift. Now move.” He barked. 

 Marco scrambled to move, halfway through his exit he gave a hasty salute, then ran the rest of the way to the dining hall. 

 Rae’s jaw audibly cracked shut when Levi looked at her. 

 Levi had to have known that Marco was her best friend, that forehead kisses and the like were normal for them. So why had he been so cruel to Marco? 

 And what would her punishment be? 

 “Be in my office at 7pm sharp, this Friday, cadet.” He said, voice flat, distant. 

 Her blood ran cold. 

 “Sir?” She squeaked.

 His face was void of emotion, so unlike the face that was burned behind her eyelids, that look of wonder that she’d been trying so hard to forget. 

 “That is an order.” 

—————————

If hell was a tangible place, Rae supposed that it might feel something like the two days leading up to this point. 

 Time seemed too slow and too quick all at once. 

 Her mind kept flipping back and forth between emotions. She was anxious to see him again, he’d made himself rather scarce since the stables. Despite her attempts to forget her memories, her feelings from that night, she just couldn’t. 

 The moments when she’d catch her reflection in a passing window or mirror, when she’d drag her fingertips across his fading mark, thighs twitching in remembrance, the hours seemed to tick by at a snail's pace. In these moments, she felt as if that evening would never come, that she’d be tormented forever in this limbo of what if. 

 The fear was what made the time escape her. 

 Despite the almost foreign ache between her thighs at the thought of him, the thought of confrontation with him scared her half to death. 

 He had yet to punish her, to express his disinterest, disgust, or disappointment in her. She thought perhaps he was waiting, giving her time to come to terms with it before he let her down hard. 

 Because that was the only option in her mind. 

 Friday morning, she, like her walls days prior; finally broke, the guilt and indecision and turmoil was whisked away with the sunrise. 

 Her hand travelled beneath her cotton sleep shorts, fingers finding their way between her folds. The wetness there did not shock her, she had been thinking about him non-stop. The fear and the lust even transferred to her dreams. 

 It was him she thought about as her fingers circled and pushed on her clit; she couldn’t stop herself even if she wanted to. 

 His rough hands, his deep voice.

 The way he tasted, the way he smelled. 

 Walls, did she want him. She’d scream it to the sky. She wanted every sick and twisted thing he’d drunkenly said that night, despite her idea that he didn’t mean a word. 

 When she came, it was quick and sharp, and his title, not his name spilled from her lips. 

 Oh Maria. She thought. The last thing I need is a thirst for authority figures. 

 As she readied herself for the day, she avoided the thought that perhaps it was too late to save herself from said thirst. 

 The high she had from her acceptance of her feelings, (along with a trusty orgasm) had pushed her through the day, but it seemed to fizzle and die out as she stood in front of Captain Levi’s door. 

 She was early, fearful of inducing his wrath even further with tardiness. 

 Rae knocked twice, and from inside she heard him call for her to enter. 

 She went in, closing the door behind her. 

 His office was the same as she remembered, only this time Levi’s desk was illuminated by two bright oil lamps. 

 The warmth from the light flickered across his pale face, casting shadows under his eyes, which were scanning the stack of paperwork in front of him. 

 “Sit.” Levi gestured to the chair in front of the desk without looking at her. 

 She did as she was told, fiddling with a button on her uniform in the silence. The top of his desk stared at her. ‘Remember what you did here?’ It teased.

 Levi continued reading the document in front of him, and when he got to the last page he scribbled a quick signature at the bottom. He placed the papers in his outgoing bin on the side of the desk, then pulled open one of the drawers to his right. 

 He handed her a sheet of paper and a spare pen, and she took note of the intricate detailing on the pens body before looking at the sheet. 

 “This is the Corps sexual harassment report form.” 

 Her eyes shot back to him, her guilt returning tenfold. 

 He wanted to report her? What kind of punishment would she face? Would she get kicked out of the survey corps? Levi was a high ranking officer, would she go to prison? 

 “When you’re finished with that, I can get you the abuse of authority report form as well.” Levi leaned back in his chair. “That one is a couple more pages, sadly.” 

 Now she was confused. “Sir?” 

 He rolled his eyes, sighing. “Sadly, the pigs in charge of this shit care more about the high ranking officers abusing their cadets than they do about sexual assault. It’s disgusting.” 

 “But Captain,” she couldn’t find the words to question him. “I’m just a cadet, I’m not a high ranking soldier, I have no power to abuse..?” 

 His brow furrowed. “What?” 

 “I’ll fill the harassment form if that’s what you’d like, but I don’t think the abuse of authority one could apply to… what I did.” 

 “You think these forms are to be filed against you?” He asked. 

 Her heart was racing now. “Well I just- I… I, you- we-“ 

 “No, Cadet. I’m giving you these reports to file against me.” 

 How could he sound so calm saying that? As if she would even want to do such a thing? 

 “Captain, that isn’t nece-“ 

 “My actions the evening of your birthday were severely inappropriate, I took complete advantage of your inebriated state and need to be accurately punished to the full extent of the law.” 

 It was her turn to furrow her brow. “Captain, that’s ridiculous. You did not take advantage of me.” 

 He stood quickly. “You were drunk!” 

 “So were you!” She stood from her chair as well. 

 He stormed from around his desk, his sock clad feet quiet against the wood floor, reminding her that she had her boots on in his office. 

 “I don’t fucking like dirt in my office.”

 He’d said it so openly that night, like it was something he’d wanted to tell her for some time. Only now, with her boots on, she stood 5cm taller, which to the average person wouldn’t have been much, but to them, it made a noticeable difference. 

 He stood in front of her now, eyes blazing. “Yes, I was drunk. That is precisely the point!” 

 She couldn’t hold back the scoff, which led to him stepping towards her, finger jutting towards her chest. 

 “You were drunk, yes Cadet. But you were only in my office because of some stupid dare!” He was nearly shouting now, and she took a cautionary step back. “I was drunk, too. And when men get drunk, they turn into filthy, perverted lowlife animals who can’t keep their hands to themselves.” 

 Her anger and boldness were ignited, his words were the alcohol to the flame. “Oh really, is that what you were that night Levi? A filthy pervert? An animal?” 

 He faltered a bit, but held his ground nonetheless. “Yes. Because only a filthy animal touches a woman when she doesn't ask for it.” 

 “Who said I didn’t ask for it?” 

 He truly faltered then. “I- what?” 

 “I was completely aware of what was happening, Levi. It was entirely consensual.”  

 He backed up, circling around her towards the couch, the gears turning in his head. 

 “You couldn’t possibly- I mean… what?” He looked so confused. Angry, at himself or her, she couldn’t tell, but she knew now that his distance the past week was for her sake, not his. He thought he’d taken advantage of her. He thought himself a criminal, an animal. 

 “But…” he paused, searching her eyes. “You ran.” 

 “Levi.” She smirked as he twitched at her informality. “You’d just given me the first and only orgasm I’d ever received from another person.” 

 He gawked. The captain, humanity's strongest soldier, actually dropped his jaw ever so slightly, and gawked at her. 

 Something deep and dark inside her woke up, stretched its legs and licked its lips at Levi’s reaction. ‘More’ it purred, confident and hungry. 

 “Plus, it happened to be the best, most earth shattering orgasm of my entire life.” 

 She walked towards him, and he seemed to back in fear, freezing when the back of his legs hit the couch. 

 “I ran because I was overwhelmed.” She moved closer, he backed again until he was forced to sit down, and she hovered over him. 

 “I ran because I was scared.” 

 “Of what?” He questioned softly. 

 The moonlight started to drift in, overpowering the warmth of the lamps and casting a cool hue over his face. His eyes held that deep, powerful emotion again, and she knew then and there; 

 There was no going back. 

 “That you hadn’t liked it.” She moved her legs, each knee coming to rest beside the outsides of his thighs, her hands still grasping the back of the couch on each side of his head. 

 As she straddled him with her newfound confidence, and his cool hands rested softly on her hips, she had another epiphany; 

 She didn’t want to go back. 

 “Did you?” 

 “Did I, what?” He asked her. 

 She let her ass rest against the top of his upper thighs, and slid her hands from the couch to his neck, fingers running along the edge of his undercut. 

 “Did you like it?” She finally broke for the second time that day, and rubbed her clothed core against the crotch of his slacks. 

 He nearly turned feral, latching himself to her mouth and consuming her once more with a searing kiss. 

 His tongue against hers made Rae feel dizzy, and she was growing wetter with each kiss, especially when he broke for a second in between, trying to speak but unwilling to part from her. 

 “I’ll answer,” kiss “your,” kiss “question,” he took her bottom lip between his teeth, pulling it towards him as his grip on her hips tightened. 

 The pain sent sparks of pleasure through her, and she groaned when he let it go. 

 “-if you answer mine.” 

 She smiled, grinding against the much more noticeable bulge in his pants. “Ask away.” 

 He was clearly fighting back sounds as she ground against him, but he managed to speak clearly anyways. “Was I really the first person to make you cum?” 

 She was growing Impatient playing these games, she wanted to feel his skin, to feel him. She started working on his shirt buttons while she answered. 

 “Three years ago, at the harvest festival, I met a boy, I honestly don’t even remember his name.” She shucked off Levi’s shirt, throwing it behind her as he got to work on her pants. She kicked off her boots as she continued.

 “All I remember was that he was paying attention to me when I thought no one else was. Now that I think about it,” she said, leaning in for another kiss, “he looked a little like you.” 

 He chuckled darkly into the kiss, pulling away to tug her belt from her pants. “…and?” 

 “He took me back to his house, we were alone; his parents were vendors at the fair, and he took my virginity in his dingy little twin bed.” She shimmied out of her pants, undoing the last of her shirt buttons, tossing that away too. 

 “And how was it?” Levi asked, pulling her back into his lap and dipping his fingers under her breast band. 

 “Dry.” She chuckled. “He fucked me for two minutes before he realized I wasn’t getting wetter, I was bleeding. Poor kids dick shrivelled up and I had to explain what had happened.” 

 He helped her pull her band up and over her head, and tossed it with the rest of the clothes piling behind them. She was bare now, save for her standard issue grey cotton panties, doing little to hide her growing arousal. 

 He grasped her breasts and lightly squeezed, and she groaned at the touch; it felt heavenly after a long day of having them pressed tight against her. 

 “Poor kid didn’t even know what he was doing.” Levi leaned in and gave her left nipple teasing kitten licks as he spoke. “Bleeding is common the first time, but better men can prepare a woman so well; discomfort is the last thing on her mind.” 

 Rae gasped as his hand travelled downwards, and bit her lip when he touched her core through the cotton. “I-I figured as much. Hange had taught us what masturbation was years before that, so I knew it wasn’t good.” 

 “Mmm.” Levi hummed as he stroked circles through the fabric covering her clit. “You knew what your pleasure was. He didn’t stand a chance, did he?” 

 “aAhh-“ she moaned. If she bit her lip any harder she thought it might bleed. “So to answer your question…”

 She bit back a whine when he took his fingers away, but could barely contain her sounds when they pushed her underwear to the side, running through the slick pooling from her. 

 “Mmnn, fuck!” She’d never felt like this before. “Yes. Yes! You’re the only one besides me to- to touch me. To make me cum.” 

 He smiled for the first time in front of her, a genuine smile, deviant, but it met his eyes- and they sparkled. 

 “Good.” 

 Levi began to tease her, rubbing his middle finger around her entrance, then up to her clit, then back again.

 She groaned, tossing her head onto his shoulder. “A-aren’t you going to ans-swer mine n-now?” Her breathing was coming short, the ache between her legs now a burning flame. 

 “Look at me.” He said, and she did. 

 The moment his ring finger breached her entrance, she gasped, and he did so along with her, half in mockery and half in his own pleasure. 

 He pushed in until the last knuckle, wiggled it a bit, causing her to let a strangled yelp from her throat, but she released her breath when he slowly dragged it back out. 

 “To answer your question,” he was touching her entrance again, only this time two fingers stretched into her. He groaned, his eyes rolling back as hers went wide, her walls clutching him tightly, breath once again gone. “I enjoyed it so much I came in my pants like a fucking teenager.”

 She keened, her face hot, legs trembling, mind reeling at this. And to think- she’d thought he didn’t mean what he’d said, that he didn’t enjoy the moment as she had. 

 She hadn’t even touched him yet, and he looked as if he was ready to burst. He started to pull and push his fingers at an agonizingly slow pace, and she could feel herself clench around his digits. 

 Rae knew how to masturbate, and did so as often as she could to ease her stress. But one thing she had never done was finger herself. 

 Her fingers were just too short, too small. It never felt right, never worked, and so she wrote it off as a pointless act and continued with external stimulation from there on. 

 Levi’s fingers were not short, or small. He had reasonably large hands, his fingers long and elegant, hands delicate enough to write poetry and strong enough to knock someone’s teeth in. 

 Rae had never experienced this kind of beautiful stimulation, and Levi could tell. 

 She was a mess, scrunching her eyes closed and biting her lip with each thrust of his hand. She was dripping, and she knew it. She could feel her slick running down his fingers, covering the rest and most likely dripping into his palm. 

 “Don’t hold back those pretty noises, Cadet.” 

 She shook her head, continuing to swallow moans. 

 There was a pressure building somewhere inside her abdomen. It was small and unfamiliar, but provided a sense of urgency she didn’t understand how to act on. 

 “You can’t keep quiet forever,” Levi chided. 

 She hummed in the back of her throat as he continued thrusting his fingers inside her, and opened her eyes to glance at him. 

 Just like the night of her birthday, his eyes were waiting for her. Something in the steely grey darkened, a wicked sort of look crossed his face and she knew she was in trouble. 

 A yelp tore through her as he cocked his fingers inside her, poking at something inside her that made the pressure grow. 

 “AAah!” She couldn’t stop the half-screech she let loose as he continued fucking his digits into her, finishing his thrust with a quick ‘come hither’ motion, only to pull back and thrust again. 

 “There she is, good,” Levi smiled again, a devilish thing. “Good girl.” 

 His praise made her eyes nearly roll to the back of her skull. 

 “C-captain..” 

 He quickened his pace, his hand on her hip squeezing as they rolled with his thrusts. It was like her body was on autopilot, the urgency was growing with the pressure inside her, she couldn’t stop herself from moaning anymore. 

 “Captain!” She grasped the back of his head, fingers digging into his scalp. 

 He stared up at her like a starved man, eyes twinkling and breath ragged. 

 “Yeah,” he huffed. 

 “I… I-“ she was blabbering now, “somethings… happening- I don’t know-“ 

 “Yes,” he hissed. “C’mon. Give it to me.” 

 The pressure grew and grew, quicker than it had before, and a mild panic took her. 

 “Levi!” She cried. “Please, I-“ 

 “Cum for me.” He breathed to her lips, eyes wide with wonder. 

 And she did. 

 The pressure released, and waves of sharp pleasure rolled through her insides in quick succession. Her walls clenched and clenched around his fingers, and he slowed their pace, still prodding at that spot within her. 

 The pulses started to slow, and her mouth closed from it’s silent scream. 

 “Mmmm.” He took her lips into another kiss. “There you go, sweetheart, you take it so well.” 

 The pulsing slowed to a stop, and so did he. 

 “I…” Rae caught her breath. “What the…?” 

 Levi chuckled deeply in his throat. “Didn’t know you could do that, did you?”

 “I… I don’t do that… what you did.” She said sheepishly. 

 “Oh?” He said. “So what,” he pulled his fingers from her hole, and quickly circled them on her clit with the lightest pressure. “You usually do this?” 

 “HaAh!” She jumped with the stimulation, body rocking forward, throwing her head to his shoulder. 

 He added pressure, whispering filthy encouragement in her ear. 

 You’re doing so well 

 So good for me

 You came for me so quick last time, what’s taking so long? 

 C’mon sweetheart, give it to me. 

 This was a pressure she was familiar with, and when her heartbeat transferred itself to her clit as she came, she knew she would never replicate such a feeling on her own. 

 His fingers slowed, but didn’t stop, and her body jerked and twitched as he worked her through it, teasing her when he knew it was too much, gentle strokes leaving her whining and nearly drooling onto his shoulder. 

 He pulled her face back to his with his dry hand, kissing her long and deep. She moaned into the kiss, and felt his sharp exhale of contentment fan across her cheek through his nose. 

 Rae stared as he pulled back and brought the fingers that were inside her to his mouth, licking them clean in long, broad strokes of his tongue. Her walls clenched around nothing as he brought his fingers into his mouth and sucked. 

 “Oh fuck.” She breathed. 

 ‘Mmm.” He smirked after he pulled them from his mouth, bringing them towards her lips. “Here, have a taste.” 

 Her mouth eagerly opened for him, latching around his digits with light suction. She wasn’t dense, she knew he was imagining what her mouth would feel like elsewhere, but the faint taste of her own arousal mixed with his saliva was intoxicating. 

 She needed more. 

 It was her who rushed into the kiss this time, her tongue chasing his to obtain more of this new mixture of them, it was brighter there than on his fingers. 

 “Levi…” she breathed into his open mouth. She could feel his cock straining in his slacks, and she rubbed herself along it, reviling in the way his breath stuttered against her lips. 

 “Fuh-fuck,” his hands pushed her from him, her feet finding the soft of the rug again. “I can’t… just-“

 “Just get these fucking off, now.” He nearly ripped her panties in his haste to get them off her body, her stumbling steps out of them were their only salvation.

 Levi pulled her back onto him from the small of her back, the other hand working at freeing his cock from its restraints. 

 Rae suddenly felt nervous. She really hadn’t seen many penises, aside from sexual health diagrams and the harvest festival boy, but even the glimpse she got from his was disappointing to say the least. She wanted so badly to look down at him, despite her nerves. To see what she had been rubbing herself on, what had gotten her off 8 days prior. 

 She bit her lip and looked down, figuring she might as well get it over with before it entered her body. 

 She was almost disappointed at how not disappointed she was. 

 She could say with the utmost certainty, that despite never seeing any others, Levi Ackerman had the prettiest cock out of any man alive. 

 Were cocks even considered pretty? 

 Levi would later go on to tell her that, yes they could be perceived that way, and it wasn’t the first time his had been referred to as such.

 It was darker along the shaft, but still that shade of pale that was so undoubtedly Levi. His tip flushed the perfect shade of pink as he gave a few short tugs to himself. 

 “Can I touch you?” 

 It seemed she would continue to surprise Levi, her boldness in the question, yes. But it was also the question itself; people rarely asked, just acted. 

 “Go head, pretty girl.” He murmured. He released himself, letting his length stand proud between their bodies. 

 She flushed at the praise once more, her head swimming with what was yet to come. Despite her bold question, her fingers timidly found their way around the smooth skin of his cock. 

 “You feel like velvet,” she whispered in awe. 

 He watched her as she looked down, experimenting with him gently. After running her fingertips along a prominent vein, she closed her fingers around him and gave a soft squeeze, earning an abnormal inhale from Levi, but nothing more. 

 The dark thing inside her pawed at its confines, ‘More.’ It demanded. 

 So Rae added pressure and jerked him slowly, always a quick learner, she followed the pattern he’d made when he’d touched himself briefly, down, then pull up with a little twist of the wrist, making sure to pull the foreskin over the head on the upstroke. 

 Around the fifth stroke, a small, deep sound rumbled in Levi’s throat, and after the 11th, he gripped her wrist to a halt. 

 “I need…” he hesitated. “I’m not going to last if you want to-“

 She let him go, finding his worry rather endearing. 

 Levi’s voice was still husky and coarse, “that is, if you want to.”

 She looked into his eyes, and found that he was genuine. If she really wanted to stop here, he’d do so. In his eyes she found a trust that took root, and she knew that it would grow and flourish into something strong and beautiful.

 “Captain.” She said,

 “Cadet,” he retorted. 

 “I want you.” It came out more breathy than she’d intended. 

 The deviance returned to her captain's face. “Where do you want me, Cadet?” 

 Her face grew hotter, whether from the excessive use of their titles, a burning reminder of how much she (and apparently he as well,) enjoyed the power imbalance, or the thought of telling the captain where she wanted him. 

 In my bed, forever.

Over me,

Under me,

In my hands,

Squeezed in my grip.

On my body,

Inside my mouth, 

On the tip of my tongue 

Inside me so completely I can’t think of anything else-

“Please,” she whined instead, loving the chase. 

 Levi loved a select number of things, Tea being an obvious choice, silence, the satisfying crunch of a bone breaking underfoot, there was even an open spot on the list, pulsing and twitching inside him at the way his heart felt right now, it was screaming ‘fill me’ louder than Rae’s eyes were. 

 However, If there was one thing Levi surely loved, it was the chase. 

 “I need you to tell me, Cadet.” He said. “Where?”

 He pushed the tip of his cock through her soaking slit, nudging her clit. “Here?”

 She cried out at the stimulation again, still buzzing from her earlier orgasms. “Fuck, Levi please.” 

 “Oh,” he grinned something akin to a wolf before striking its prey. “I see-“

 He pushed his length down slightly, the head just resting against her entrance. 

 “-You want me here.”

 She was stiff as a board, waiting for him to breach her, ready for the pain, the pleasure, for anything, really. 

 “Levi,” she whined. 

 “Cadet.” 

 She scowled at him the best she could. “Please, I need it.” 

 He tutted at her, “only good girls get cock, and you seem to be forgetting my title.”

 The thing inside her snarled. 

 “The rules in my office will stay the same, Cadet, regardless of attire, or lack thereof.” He was really trying to get her now, and she had not come this far to be teasingly denied any longer. 

 “Say my name, Levi. It’s not ‘Cadet.’” She said,

 He cocked his head mockingly. “Say my title, Cadet. It’s not that hard.”

 Her eyes darkened, but he seemed to not take her seriously, chuckling a deep; “you are adorable, honestly, you rrrrr-“ 

 Whatever he had left to say was cut short by her weight falling, and her silky walls swallowing his cock inch by inch as she sunk down on him. When the stretch ached, but didn’t burn, didn’t hurt, her confidence exploded. 

 “-rrrRae-“ he gasped against her lips as she held his head close, staring into his eyes as she sat until he bottomed out. 

 “Fuck.” He huffed. “You’re so tight.”

 She wriggled her hips slightly, pulling a moan from each of them.

 “You’re so…” she lifted experimentally, crying out into the room as she came back down harder than intended. “…b-big.”

 “Fuck.” Levi repeated, light and breathy, his head lolling against the back of the couch.

 She looked down, the patch of neatly trimmed hair at his base was brushing against her own, they were so close. 

 He was inside her. 

 Levi was inside her and she was on top of him. 

 The dark thing inside her purred. 

 “Who’s adorable now?” She rocked forward, biting her lip to keep from shouting out how fucking amazing he felt. 

 His breath was loud and heavy, “R-Ra-eyy- hah-“ he stuttered quietly, his voice reaching an octave she’d never heard from him. 

 “Remind me again, Levi,” she emphasized her lack of manners with a particularly rough rock against him. “F-fuck. Remind me again, what is it that only good girls get?”

 Her eyes rolled back as his hands squeezed her hips, almost guiding them as she moved. 

 “Mmmmmm,” he moaned. “Ha- fuck. I said only good girls get cock.” 

 He hissed as she circled her hips experimentally, “well, Levi. It looks like I’ve been very, hmn- oh fuck- very bad.” She moaned through it, attempting to keep her mocking tone straight. 

 “So why is it that I’m getting cock?” She slowed to a stop, and something in Levi snapped. 

 “You think this is getting cock, little girl?” The shock of entering her ebbed away, replaced by absolute pleasure, and lust filled rage; she wasn’t going to win so easily.

 The game had only just begun. 

 “I’ll show you what getting cock feels like.”

 Before she could process his words, his cock thrust its way into her, ripping a scream from her throat that he silenced with his fingers, all four shoved in, taking the sting from her bite as she tried to control her noises. 

 He fucked into her with reckless abandon, his mind reeling at the feeling of finally fucking her, finally feeling her pretty little cunt swallowing his cock. There was a twinge of disgust, the part of him that thought that he was filthy and perverted for enjoying fucking into her.  

 Another part of him was taking over, however. It was the part of him that yearned for physical touch, for connection, the part that begged him to give in. 

 He had a hard time saying no when someone begged. 

 Rae drooled around his fingers, her cries muffled, eyes rolling back into her head. She felt so full, it was like he was splitting her in two. Over and over his hips snapped to hers, hard and sharp, but she could tell he was holding something back. 

 She managed to wriggle his fingers from her mouth, her spit coating them and running down her chin.  

 “Please, Captain,” he groaned at her plea, his hips stuttering slightly. 

 “Please,” Rae whined again. “More, I can take it.” 

 Levi’s eyes widened slightly, “really? You think you can take it?” 

 She nodded, face still scrunched up in pleasure. 

 Levi grabbed her hips and threw her onto the plush of the old couch. The new emptiness inside her ached, and she wanted nothing more than for it to be filled once again. 

 He crawled over her, and she wanted to run her teeth along the muscles of his arms, to lick the light sheen from his collarbones. Rae wanted to worship this moment, this man above her with everything in her soul. 

 “I thought you were a smart girl, Rae?” He said.

 “I-“ she stuttered. “I am!” 

 “Smart girls don’t ask for more than they can handle.”

 I’ll make you eat those words, she wanted to say, but the moment his cock pushed into her, filling up all that empty, lonely space; her words escaped her. 

 Well- coherent words, that is. 

 “I- ahHha! Oh, nnn- ah!” He must’ve really thought her to be stupid now, she was babbling; releasing any and every noise at the way he was fucking into her with his hands beside her head and that dark look in his eyes, she was certain her face was displaying an amusing array of emotions. 

 Levi chuckled with a snap of his hips, “that enough for you?” 

 He was still holding back- she knew it. She wanted to rip into him and tear out that dark, filthy thing he let loose the night of her birthday. 

 She shook her head, loose hair falling out of her ponytail, and looked him hard in the eyes. 

 “Levi, give it to me.” She whispered. 

 He chewed on his lip for a moment before he took a deep breath. He leaned in close, and  Rae shivered at his breath and the feeling of his cock shifting inside her. 

 “What’s your least favourite season?” He asked. 

 “Summer.” She said without hesitation. 

 He smiled a soft thing, amused by her eagerness to please him. “If you need to stop for any reason, you say summer.” 

 She was a little confused, why couldn’t she just say stop? If she couldn’t take it, she could just tell him right? 

 Levi’s eyes were twinkling as he watched the gears turn in Rae’s mind. When her eyes met his again, she stopped and stared, the last cog clicking into place. 

 “Oh,” she whispered. “Okay.” 

 Well, she did want the dark and filthy.

 He smirked at her, “Good girl.” 

 He threw her legs over his shoulders, legs dangling as her calves rested on the delicious trapezius muscle connecting his neck and shoulder.

 She squealed as he leaned forward, pushing at her thighs until her knees were nearly at her shoulders.

 The angle pushed his cock so deep her left foot gave an involuntary kick upward as the little twinge of pain racked through her. 

 “Ahhhhh-“ but the pain quickly melted as he rolled his hips slowly, his cock just brushing the deepest points inside her. ”Oh, fuck, fuck.” 

 Levi couldn’t help but chuckle a bit, but if her pleasure was anywhere near the feeling of her tight walls swallowing him up, tensing and twitching as they adjusted to him, he knew exactly how she felt. 

 “Here, sweet girl,” he guided her hands to the back of her knees, “hold yourself up.” 

 She did as she was told, gripping so hard she thought she might leave bruises of her own. 

 Levi leaned closer, drinking in the way she keened at the motion. He licked and nipped and sucked at the soft skin of her throat, whispering at her as he went. 

 “I want to cover you with my marks,” he said, sucking beneath her ear. 

 “I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk right.”

 She whined, pleading for him to do just that. 

 “Oh, fuck.” His voice came out all breathy this time, rolling hips as she clenched around him. “I’m going to ruin you, no one will ever compare.”

 I don’t think anyone ever could. She tried to speak the words, but all that rolled off her saliva soaked tongue was a high pitched “please.”

 “Just remember you asked for it,” he growled. 

 Her nails dug crescent moon shapes in the backs of her knees as he started his brutal pace. Her heels tap, tap, tapped against his shoulder blades with the motions. 

 With this new angle, it felt as if he was tearing through her very being, leaving pleasure and carnage in his wake. The velocity in which his hips snapped against hers was astounding, each thrust sending stars to her eyes and unflattering noises to her throat, which all came tumbling out when that new coil inside her twisted and burned. 

 “Such pretty noises…” Levi’s voice was strained but still laced with undeniable sin. 

 “You might want to keep it down though, little one,” he chuckled. “Do you want everyone to know you’re being a little slut for your captain?” 

 She could feel the way her body clenched around him. “oh, fuck.” 

 “Oh, does someone like that?” He asked. “Do you like when I call you out on what a little whore you’re being?” 

 His voice was so low, so deep. She couldn’t stop the arch in her back, the way her hands fumbled and pulled at the couch, desperate for something to hold her down so she wouldn’t float away. 

 She did like it, she loved it in fact, she loved the power he had over her, she loved this new side of him she’d never experienced. He was talkative, his focus solely on her. He was being…almost… sweet, too. 

 That was the unexpected part. The degradation, the dirty talk, the stamina she could’ve guessed. But the way his eyes sparkled when he looked down at her? The way he overlooked the sweat and the cursing and thrashing and just kept fucking into her, going and going until she- 

 “Captain,” she breathed, “captain- lev- levi-I think I’m gonna cum.” 

 “Oh?” His teeth ground into his bottom lip, keeping his own sounds from spilling onto her. “You think?”

 His words were once again accompanied by harsh, deep thrusts that sent her keening, her fingers losing their grip on her legs, head thrown back in ecstasy. 

 “Ah, ahh!” She breathed, “Levi… it’s..” 

 He kept going, harder and harder, feeling his own coil tighten as her walls clenched around him. 

 “You are going to cum,” he whispered against her lips, kissing them softly. “And when you do, you’re going to tell me exactly whose cock is making you cum so hard.” 

 “Y-you-“ Rae stuttered, that tight pressure was pushing at her again, hot and intense and relentless as he fucked her. 

 “Who?” He teased. 

 “You! Y-your cock-“ her face scrunched, the pleasure screaming higher and higher, muddling her thoughts. “Your cock, Levi- C-cap-“ 

 “Cum for me. Say it, c’mon.” He growled at her, thrusting harder still. 

 “Captain Levi!” She squealed, louder and higher in pitch than she intended, as her orgasm slammed through her. 

 It pulsed like before, only this time harder and tighter. Her walls fluttered around his cock, and it just kept going as he did, waves and waves of it ripping through her core. 

 She babbled as he fucked her through it, how it was his cock, his cock that was making her cum, cum so hard, so good, thank you captain, so hard.

 “Fuck..” Levi was nearing his limit, the intensity of her orgasm pushing him towards his own. “Fuck, I’m gonna…” 

 “I wanna feel it.” Rae whimpered. 

 Levi faltered, looking down at her lust blown features, feeling the heat from the panting breaths she released across his perspiring skin. It was almost enough to make him cum, almost. 

 “What?” He asked her, his thrusts slowing ever so slightly. 

 “Inside,” she whined. “I wanna feel it when you cum.”

 “Fuck, Rae- you-“ 

 “Please, Captain.” She moved her hands from her legs to his face, brushing aside a strand of hair with her fingertips. “Please cum inside me.” 

 It was the softness of the gesture, the smallness of her tone, and the plea itself that did him in. It hit him like a loose brick, slamming through his gut until he burst, his cock jumping inside her, pumping her full of him. 

 She gasped as she felt it, his warmth spilling inside her. He gave a few weaker thrusts to work himself through, relishing the breathy whines they pulled from Rae. 

 “Fuck…” he gave one last push before he pulled out completely, shifting back as he spread her thighs wide. 

 “Look at you, pretty girl.” He murmured to the room, not to her, as if entranced. “You took it so well.” 

 “It's warm…” she mumbled, giving a little ‘ah!’ When an aftershock pushed some of the sticky white out of her. 

 She jolted when he ran his fingers along her, scooping up what tried to escape. 

 “Ah, ah, ah,” he said. “No messes on my furniture without permission.” 

 Rae’s stomach fluttered at his words, despite what had just transpired between them. Levi lifted his fingers, bringing them to her lips, and she opened obediently, licking and sucking his cum from them. 

 “Good girl.” He smiled softly. “Come here, give me a taste.” 

 She was confused for a moment, but it faded as soon as his tongue dipped into her mouth, and he kissed her so deeply she forgot to breathe. 

 She groaned into the kiss, the filthy nature of it set her face on fire, the heat creeping down to her ears and neck.

 “Levi…” she whispered as he pulled from her. His eyes were filled with that open wonder again, like she hung the moon and stars, lit the night sky up just for him. 

 “We’ve much to discuss, but for now, we’d best get you clean.” 

 ——

He cleaned her in his surprisingly deep soaker tub, rubbing her shoulders and washing her hair.

 “If you tell anyone I was this soft on you, I’ll toss you from the wall.”

 She’d giggled at that. 

 He’d told her about the kind of relationship he would like to explore with her; the rules and expectations and contracts, the give and take for the both of them. Levi was honest and open, and made sure Rae knew it was much more than some transactional thing.

 “I take this very seriously,” he stated, his stony demeanor was back, save for a softness around his eyes. “We can start this slowly, cautiously, and at any point you would like out, you need only say so.” 

 “Levi,” she started, only to receive a firm stare. 

 “Captain,” he released his hold on her eyes as she continued. “I want this.” 

 She fiddled with a button on the loose shirt he’d given her to wear, “I want you.”

 “Alright then, little dove,” he smirked. “But don’t say I didn't warn you.”

[youngbloodbuzz]

What are your fav YouTube channels in general? Do you have any recs for those?

oh yea for sure i definitely have some favourites. nuke's top 5 is already one of them I've watched every single video on there lmao but there's also

watched walker and wanderizm - both similar channels of the "walking city tour" genre that I put on to relax. both guys live in london and they go literally all over the place in the city, it's a wonderful way of seeing some place new and hearing life on the streets when you're stuck at home. there's so many channels like this in many cities that i def recommend

ur internet mom ash - reaction videos are also another favourite genre of mine, ash is hilarious and sweet with fantastic editing, I'll never forget her hill house and bly manor reactions

ZZAVID - another reactioner, except he's the gayest latino man on the planet with the dirtiest humour to ever exist. both him and ash truly have the best movies+sleepover vibes. i also frequently rewatch his videos

micarah tewers - how do i even begin to describe micarah...weird homeschool girl who makes "low budget costume/fashion tutorials" i say this in loose terms; she's incredibly talented and so fucking funny but her whole shtick is that her tutorials are very unusual and full of off topic rambling. she has a pet bird that she carries everywhere and once had her wisdom teeth removed and proceeded to film herself crying about the fact that she couldn't keep them and then pierced her own lip with a sewing needle while high as a kite on meds. i love her dearly

jenna marbles - self explanatory. god i miss her

julien - but also like i can't forget about best boi julen, jenna's fiance

unusual videos - unusual memes condescend into compilation videos every week. gr8 for a quick laugh to pass the time

taskmaster - british comedy panel show for free. the entire show. it's a comedic masterpiece of watching comedians perform insane demands

baumgartner restoration - both incredibly relaxing and also informative, long videos of a guy restoring damaged/old paintings

be kind rewind - incredibly fascinating documentaries about old hollywood actresses and films

drawfee - professional artists where they "take dumb ideas and turn them into dumber drawings" like drawing pokemon from memory or drawing disney characters as dark souls bosses

lindsay ellis - popular video essayist who reviewed, discussed, and broke down media to their essentials (unfortunately was run off the internet because the internet is terrible). her game of thrones essays are incredible but her duology of the omegaverse lawsuit is legendary

jenny nicholson - another popular video essayist who talks about and reviews garbage media in both a hilarious deadpan but also intelligent way. her takedown of the dear evan hansen movie is godly and yes i did spend 2.5 hours watching her explain the plot and lore of the vampire diaries

girlfriend reviews - wholesome couple makes videos about "what it's like to live with your boyfriend who plays video games." incredible editing, humour, and popular music with original lyrics, but also i respect them so much for their tlou2 video especially (which they unfortunately but predictably got a lot of hate for)

internet historian - what it says on the tin for the most part, a sorta satirical documentary channel but my god they way they do it is incredible. I've watched their "cost of concordia" video at least three times now and it's still not old at all. they've covered the disaster of fallout 76, no man's sky (which was very enlightening), kony, and a satirical covering of area 51 for april fools which was.....indescribable and a must watch

jacob geller - incredible video essays on various themes in video games like fear of depths and haunted houses, horror oriented

shiey - guy backpacks across europe including riding on top of trains and sleeping on roofs to explore abandoned places. he's gone to chernobyl and free climbs so many high structures and has delved into so many bunkers, it's wild

screened - video essays about movies and their themes, and listing them from specific genres, some movies I've never even heard of

lessons from the screenplay - more video essays breaking down themes and scenes from movies

ok i might of........gone a bit overboard lmao

[three--rings]

2HA Ch 239-240

Yeah, this is fucking insane.  (Master Huaizui’s scroll)

Just...don’t even know what to say about the CWN stuff yet...but HE was the one to save MR?   I WAS FUCKING READING THROUGH TEARS.  OMG this fucking story.  How very dare.  This defined and made CWN who he was, seeing Mo Ran’s suffering and setting out to put the world to rights.  And Mo Ran, remembering that one anonymous person as the only person he didn’t want to destroy....I can’t.

Also this is really giving me background Big Thoughts about, like, religion and salvation/ascension in general and Buddhism in particular but I definitely don’t have the time or capacity to get into that right now.  (I have one again made the mistake of going “I need to go to sleep soon.  I’ll read a little 2ha.)

Is your morality only on paper?! Could it be that millions of victims were homeless, and orphans were dying day and night? What I should do was not to walk out of the mountains to support the path, but to train in Zen Buddhism along with the green light and the ancient Buddha?!”

“After you ascend to the Dao, you will be able to do many good deeds!” Chu Wanning glared at him as if he had never seen this person before. . .

Finally,  his  eyes  turned  red  and  he  hoarsely  said,  “Shizun,  I’m  not cultivating for the sake of being carefree and transcending the mortal world. Could it be that cultivation can only be used to achieve Immortal Ascension?If so, I’d rather not. I’d rather give up halfway, I’d rather do nothing, I’d rather stay on earth.”

“With all my strength, I will exhaust myself to death.”

I swear I wrote the above before I even got here and we started explicitly talking about what is the use to trying to achieve ascension on a mountain when people are suffering...  (Let’s just say there was a reason I did NOT VIBE with Buddhism when I studied it and it was This.  (Disclaimer that certainly Buddhism as a practiced religion can be extremely varied and drifts a lot from the sorta spiritual purity sector and I’m not saying it’s unique in this problem, I rejected Christianity well before also.))(But also I find this theme FASCINATING AND SATISFYING in danmei works like this and TGCF...like this is the kind of cultural critique that a Western work couldn’t and wouldn’t really engage with...when we try to engage with Buddhism we do so with a distance and often misunderstanding that serves to simultaneously oversimplify and idolize the beliefs and institutions...) (The study of religion is a really old interest of mine that I haven’t really engaged with much in like 10-20 years at this point, but was a MAJOR focus for me for a while.)

Oh FUCK YOU HUAIZUI!!!!

I’m just gonna go cry for a while.

[feeling-uncomfy]

LOV HEADCANNONS BECAUSE THEY'RE SO AMAZING LIKE- A A H

[Half realistic because I really hurt my own feelings last time I'd rather not cry-]

[Mild sexual themes are included,]

First off, I just wanna say that when they move around from base to base, Kurogiri is on standby because Twice always forgets something. Always.

Mr. Compress has marbled something and then lost the marble, then un-marbled it only for the couch to be flipped because "oops I forgot it was big"

Spinner goes into hibernation like Asui during winters and didn't tell anyone to keep up his "cool guy" facade and almost froze to death during a solo mission during winter

It took three hours to find him, and he was buried under snow, half frozen, Dabi found him

Dabi is the Bakugo of the group, if that makes sense

He says he doesn't care but his big brother instincts are always there and he takes care of the league like they're his little siblings

Shigaraki and Spinner are gamer bfs. I don't make the rules

They met on a game before the league became a thing and ended up actually being gamer boyfriends, then they met and hated each other.

They were texting each other "I love you" while glaring at each other from across the room unaware that they were texting almost in sync

Twice cant sleep unless he's hugging something, and his hugs are to die for, so the league takes turns being his cuddle buddy and helping him sleep

Shigaraki only hugs Spinner because he cant out all five fingers on a single scale meaning no disintegration

Dabi has to literally fight Spinner into getting warmer clothes for winter

It's an unspoken rule that if Mr. Compress is sleeping, you have to keep the volume down, and try not to wake him up

Thia started when Toga pointed out to Twice that she'd never seen Mr. Compress sleep at the base, and he was always here

Twice made it his mission to keep Mr. Compress asleep for as long as possible during the day/night. And everyone just sorta joined in

Giran, I love him, but he's probably a pervert. And Twice, a loving himbo, hasn't realised that yet, we all know where this is going.

Toga and Magne went with Twice to a meeting with Giran and it ended abruptly when Toga slammed a knife down onto the table and Magne led Twice out because Giran was getting a little touchy

The league don't let Twice and Giran have much alone time, no matter how much Twice tries to convince them he's good

Also, speaking of himbo Twice, he's the first person in the league to meet Tokoyami outside of hero and villain work

Hawks got caught up in the moment, he was just so damn proud of Tokoyami and ranted to Twice about what had happened

Twice got curious and ended up accidentally stalking Tokoyami and ran into him in the mall while on a class trip.

Tokoyami was actually looking for Shouji(as mentioned the headcannon about Sho wandering) and ran into Twice, who found Shouji first

Tokoyami recognised Twice from the photos Hawks had of him on file and sprinted over

Twice and Shouji were just talking, well- it was mostly Twice and Shouji was listening politely

Tokoyami excused them and Twice lit up and talked about what Tokoyami had done and said he should be proud and Tokoyami was like "...oh- um-"

Anyways, Tokoyami dragged Shouji off and Twice went back to base, happily telling Shigaraki all about the encounter with the two of them

ALSO- Moonfish has never forgotten about the summer camp, or the flesh. Just saying.

Toga stalks everyone in class 1A. Mainly Uraraka, Asui, Todoroki and Midoryia. She stalked Shouji because she's still mad about the summer camp and Tokoyami at Mr. Compress's request

Toga sends them all letters, most are kinda harmless, some are borderline scary

Magne taught Spinner how to paint nails and do makeup and he puts it to good use after.. Overhoe

After that whole fiasco, Twice was completely blank for the next week or so. He barley left Mr. Compress's side, face blank and unmoving.

The league had never seen him so down before. So unenthusiastic, he normally bounced back from these things but...

Dabi got him to spill and Twice sobbed for a solid hour before being able to even breathe properly

Dabi hugged him through the whole thing, letting him let it all out

Spinner helped Toga through it, both of them closer to Magne

Mr. Compress hated his arm for the first while, because he couldn't feel shit and was too strong for his own good

Shigaraki kept a close eye on the people Toga stalked, for some reason

He himself left a letter to Midoryia and Tokoyami, Midoryia's was just a threat and Tokoyami's was an apology and an offer to join the league

Aziawa burned both.

Mr. Compress has accidentally stolen 1A kids before, totally an "accident"

Shigaraki and Dabi both made him give them back, but one time he actually forgot he did it and lost the marble

He assumed it was something else and un-compressed it only for Shouji to pop up in the living room

Spinner screamed and Twice jumped up and yelled about a ghost

Toga laughed her ass off and Dabi and Shigaraki raced to kill Compress first.

Compress assured them he could get the kid back in time and Shouji started freaking out because he was going to be late for school, even though upon closer inspection he seemed sick.

Shigaraki glared at Compress and Toga hopped up with a knife, and said she had an idea

So that's how Toga got into UA, Shouji was stuck with the league, before he could do anything about it he puked, so there really was no getting out of it

Dabi, Compress and Kurogiri took one look at the kid and went "fuck" and Twice almost puked at the smell(same Twice)

Kurogiri got Twice and Compress to go get medicine while Dabi went to get a thermometer and blankets while Shigaraki screamed about the carpet

Shouji was stuck on the couch for the rest of the day, and when Toga came back, melting back into herself, she flopped next to Sho and complained about the fact that a building was dropped on her

That made everyone go "nANI THE FUCK-"

Shouji just pat her head and went "Yeah I get it, you get used to it" making Dabi go "oh hell no" and plan a murder

Shouji didn't get better for a few days, getting knocked down by the sickness and once he was deemed "okay" by the league, it had been a week

Toga came home a little early, covered in blood and tears, making everyone jump

When asked what was wrong, Toga wiped her eyes and walked over to Shouji and went "You've been gone for a week and no one's noticed anything different! Do they really not care about you?!"

Shigaraki's head snapped up, Spinner choked on his cereal and Shouji went tense. No one moved for a while

Shouji stood up, said something about fresh air and walked away, Twice followed him

Shouji was in tears, making Twice feel awful and hugged him.

Oops- I didn't mean to rant about that, I'm gonna cut it off before it goes too far-

Dabi and Spinner dye their hair together, I just think Spinner's hair is dyed idk why

Twice and Hawks almost, ALMOST had a fling, but Dabi walked in and went "not today satan" and dragged Hawks away

Dabi doesn't trust Hawks, at all. Never had, never will.

So he snitches and tells Shigaraki about Tokoyami, and now if Hawks puts a toe out of line Shigaraki leans back and asks Dabi to do something, and all he needs to do is ignite his palm for Hawks to get the message

Tokoyami isn't oblivious to the threats sent his way, often when he sneezes random he looks up and goes "someone's talking about me-" and Asui and Shouji would be confused

At one point, Hawks had fucked up a mission and gotten Compress hurt, and during his next patrol with Tokoyami, Dabi followed them the whole time, and when they were in a crowd, Tokoyami was grabbed by the shoulder by Dabi, the news crew didn't get thr conversation, but they only assumed it was bad when Hawks froze and yelled "don't you dare-!"

Tokoyami was shoved to the ground and Dabi disappeared through a portal. Tokoyami was frozen, having heard the whole thing and was effectively confused.

Hawks kept a closer eye on Tokoyami from that day forward

The class did as well, all worried about their classmate

Stain, when he was around, often found himself following 1A outside of class, as he wanted to see who was considered a "hero" and who wasn't

When he was arrested, they found a list with all the names of the students in class 1A and 1B, most were crossing out, only a few were circled in green pen

On the back, it had those students addresses, with a "train the next generation" written beside it

No one wants to know what was meant by that. The names were not given to the public, but the school went into lockdown just in case

[That's it for now, they're all over the place, I know]

[sarcastically-defensive17]

ahhh 25 and 12 or 6 with calum hood please!!

I AM SO SO SO SORRH RHAT THIS TOOK SO LONG I HAD A SUPER LONG HIATUS FOR PERSONAL REASONS AND I HOPE YOURE STILL INTERESTED AND NOT MAD AT MEEE 🥺LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING YOU ABSOLUTE ANGEL LOVIEEE

Help me - C. Hood

6: “Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”

12: “N-no, it’s alright, come here.”

25: “Please talk to me about it.”

GIF is not mine

TW: DEPICTIONS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE/ ABUSE BY A PARENT. MENTIONS OF BLOOD AND WOUNDS, GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF FAMILIAL VIOLENCE, SELF-LOATHING THEMES AND PHYSICAL INJURY.

If this content can potentially trigger you, please do not read. Your mental and physical health is important, so please, take care of yourself. My inbox is always open.

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Please do not copy, reproduce or repost without credit or in a manner than removes my username, and/or ownership from the work. Stealing isn’t cool, peeps.

<><><><><>

Not much was known about Y/N. In the entire school, she was the enigma. She had her friends, she was average in her classes, but still, her personal life was kept out of the general knowledge of the student body. Even the teachers knew little about the girl.

Her parents would come to every interview, every ceremony. She would go on trips, she would join in on the fun. She even attended the two week camp they held last semester, and it was the happiest that anybody had seen her.

Calum often watched the girl. He could see how her smile would drop when nobody was looking, how she would constantly flinch whenever anybody would raise a hand or wave an arm around her. He observed her more often than not, as stalkerish as that made him sound.

He was friends with the girl. They shared English and Math and some of the same friends. He enjoyed speaking to her, he loved to see her smile - genuinely smile.

He couldn’t deny the growing feelings he had for her. She was intelligent and kind, her smile could knock the breath out of him, and had done so many times. He seemed to lose all train of thought around her and the feeling was addictive. He had no idea if she felt the same, but he felt his own emotions grow tenfold every time she placed her hand on his arm, or offered her assistance when he was unsure about something, or simply when she laughed at a horrible joke that slipped from his lips.

She was angelic and he couldn’t put his finger on why such a beautiful person could look so skittish at a sudden movement.

He had his suspicions but he knew better than to pry.

However, his mind couldn’t be set at ease when they were placed into a group together. Their due date for their English project was impending, and as his mother was working from home, he chose not to offer his residence for the pair to gather.

“So, your house?” He was waiting by her car at the end of the day, unnoticed by Y/N as she rushed to her vehicle in the same manner she always did. She hadn’t expected him to be there, so when his voice travelled to her ears she couldn’t help but flinch and shy away. He frowned softly at her, “you okay?”

She blinked, tilting her head to look at him. “Excuse me?” Her keys were clasped tightly in her hands and her gaze kept flicking between her door and Calum.

He chose not to focus on the tension she held in her body. “The project?” He reminded her. “It’s due in two weeks and if we keep showing up with nothing done, Stone will be on our asses until we graduate.” He snorted, the sound bringing a small smile to Y/N’s face.

“I, um, I don’t think my house is a good idea,” her voice was soft - fragile. “Wouldn’t it be easier to do it during study? I can’t be out too late.”

“All of my study’s are designated to soccer practice, sorry,” he pursed his lips, pushing off of her car. “I would offer my place but I think my mum would genuinely murder me. She’s working from home and my sister is in the process of taking over all available space in the house with her loser friends.”

Y/N seemed to think over it for a minute. She knew that it would be a bad idea to have Cal come over, but she had no choice. She sighed, nails working carefully to pick at the skin around her cuticles - a bad habit she had adopted.

“Alright,” she nodded. “Hop in, just, there are rules you need to follow, okay?”

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked, pulling the drivers side door open for her when the lock mechanism clicked open.

Her heart pounded in her chest the whole way home. The mere sight of the two story residence made her feel queasy on a regular day, but the upbeat boy sitting beside her made the thought of being at home much worse. She put the car in park, turning to Calum.

Her eyes rarely met his, he noticed.

“Um, you can’t be here after 5. My parents get home around then and they don’t really like visitors.” She pulled her keys from the ignition, clamping her eyes shut for a brief moment. Sure, Calum was her friend - he was a great guy, and Y/N genuinely enjoyed his presence - but she couldn’t shake the feeling that having him at her house would end horribly. “No shoes inside, we need to stay in the dining room and please, if you use the bathroom, put the toilet seat down.”

She didn’t invite people over for a reason, but she dropped the desire to have friends over when her home began to break more. Y/N could barely remember a time when she fell asleep to anything but the sound of expletives, breaking glass or pure aggression.

Instead of questioning the barrage of instruction as she would expect, Calum simply fixed her with a warm smile, “Your wish is my command.”

She had long wished for her parents to go their separate ways strictly to save her from the fear that enveloped her the minute she stepped foot inside, however, she knew it fruitful because she couldn’t go anywhere but with one of them, and even when apart, they were harmful.

Calum followed her rigid form into the house, kicking his shoes off and placing them on the designated racking as instructed. The house was in pristine condition. It was as if there were no life in the environment unless a human was present - it felt cold.

The house was so different from his own. His mother had made sure to hang photos of both him and his sister, pictures from family outings, vacations. His father bought his mother flowers regularly and they always sat on the kitchen counter. His sister even had her own little belongings in the family areas as did he. Y/N’s house had nothing. There was not even a picture of her with her parents. The house was near void of any sort of familial comfort that it made him feel uncomfortable.

He followed her into the dining room, waiting for instruction. The atmosphere put him incredibly on edge and he could feel that there were many rules to be followed to perfection in the house.

Y/N pulled her bag open, placing her books on the table before stashing the bag into a designated nook in the entry way. The table caught his eye. Only two chairs. Both her parents lived with her, but there were only two chairs.

She returned, taking a seat at the small round table. Her eyes darted nervously to a clock mounted on the wall before softening and focusing on Calum’s standing form.

“Take a seat?” She offered. “We have just over an hour and a half until my parents get home.”

He nodded, slumping down in the seat and retrieving his own items for their project.

The time flew by quickly, it seemed. Calum’s presence was warm and he shone like a beacon in the barren home. She could barely take her eyes off of him for fear that he too would burn out like all who have entered before him.

If she could, she would have captured the moment in its entirety, preserving it for the lypophrenic moments that visit her almost nightly.

She was in the process of laughing at a joke that slipped from Calum’s lips when her eyes absentmindedly crossed over to the wall clock.

It was 3 minutes past 5.

Calum needed to leave. Fast.

She was on her feet, face paleing and her hands working to slam the books in front of her closed. She needed Calum gone and she needed to be in her room before either of them got home.

Calum raised an eyebrow at her, following her movements with caution. “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“You need to go,” she was breathless despite the meager activity. It wasn’t the actions that made her breath escape, it was fear. She knew what would happen if either of her parents arrived home. She knew what would happen if they saw she was in the dining room, or if she had company. Nevermind if that company was a male.

“Oh, sorry,” he smiled softly, helping her clean. “The time sorta slipped away from us. It’s only a few past 5, I’m sure your parents will understand-“

He was cut off as she shoved his books against his chest, “they can’t know that you were ever here.” She felt horrible for rushing him out; almost as horrible as she felt for her lack of hospitality, but she needed him to go. She couldn’t bear the consequences.

She handed him his shoes, opening the front door and pushing him out. His expression was full of confusion and for an instance she thought she saw hurt flash in his whiskey coloured eyes but her state of anxiety was growing and she couldn’t bring herself to react.

“Sorry about going overtime. I’ll see you-“ the door slammed in his face, footsteps hurrying away from the wooden barrier almost exactly after, “- tomorrow?” He finished dejectedly, slipping his shoes on and starting down the path to his house.

He lived in close proximity to Y/N, but the walk did little to quell the hurt in his chest.

Y/N rushed around as soon as the door was closed. She needed to clean everything up in the dining room before one of them got home, but her efforts were fruitless.

A few minutes after she rudely shoved Calum away, she heard an engine die in the front yard. The door opened carefully and closed very soon after. The sound of heels on the floorboards alerted her to the fact that her mother was home. She was in perfect view, still trying to clean away any evidence that she inhabited the dining room.

“What the hell have you done to my house?” Her mother hissed, the sound of keys being thrown onto the hall table bouncing off of the walls, setting the hairs on the back of Y/N’s neck on edge.

Y/N felt her shoulders flinch, acting on their own accord. “I’m sorry, mum. I just felt like studying down here today-“

Her mother was next to her within seconds, cold eyes scanning over every item in the room. “This is a pig sty!” She growled, despite the only objects out of the ordinary being y/N’s textbook, a single pen and a bottle of water. “I go to work, busting my ass to pay for things you need and this is the thanks I get?”

The laughter that fell from the older woman gave Y/N goosebumps. Both of her parents were vindictive and nasty, but her mother was the worse of the two. Quick with her hands, nastier with her words. She has once thrown a plate at Y/N because she dared to ask to add salt to her dinner.

Her father, on the other hand, was a drunk who would prefer to scream insults at his daughter and wife for anything. Despite this, y/n had less fear of the patriarch.

Y/N stayed quiet, too frightened to say anything or to even move to finish cleaning. Her mother didn’t like that and wound her hand in Y/N’s hair, gazing down at her with malice as she yanked her head back violently.

“You ungrateful little brat!” She growled. “You were the worst thing to happen to me, yet I still feed you, and clothe you and keep you here while you sick the life from me like the parasite you are, and this is how you repay me?”

Tears welled in Y/N’s eyes as she struggled against her mother’s hand, “Mum, mum please,” she pleaded. “You’re hurting me.”

“You hurt me every day that you’re still here, it’s the least I can do to repay the favour.”

Y/N grabbed her mother’s hand, attempting to pry it away from her hair, but in the process, her nail scratched her mother’s hand.

Y/N didn’t realise until she was knocked to the ground after a force connected with her cheek. Her head connected with the floor boards, blood quickly spilling from her brow and her lip and cheek throbbing.

“Don’t you ever touch me again, you little bitch!” Her mother screamed in her face, cradling her barely wounded hand like she would a baby.

Y/N struggled on the floor, slowly trying to climb to her feet despite the ache spreading through the left side of her face. She shuffled back, hoping to get closer to the hall so she could get up to her room. Her mother had other plans.

The sound of the cupboard door opening was evident and Y/N barely pushed her disheveled hair from her eyes to see a glass hurtling towards her, connecting with the wall next to her.

The sound was near ear-piercing, a few glasses catching her arms and shredding the skin in various places. Crash after crash - she finally ran out of glasses, starting to move to the next cupboard.

Y/N took the opportunity to get to her feet and run. Her feet carried her to the door, and she was thankful that she always kept we car keys on her person for fear of moments like this.

Her mother called out expletives behind her, but she didn’t bother to turn, instead allowing her body to act on its own volition, climbing into her car and pulling out of the drive as fast as she could.

Her vision was blurring, tears staining the clarity of her sight. Her hands were shaking so ferociously that she could feel the muscles in her shoulders twitching. Her mind was anywhere but the road, but it felt like she moved between destinations so fast, barely paying mind to the road in front of her until she pulled up at a park in the next suburb.

Her fingers worked on the screen of her phone, acting of their own volition until a voice was sounding through the speaker into Y/N’s ear.

“Y/N?” The voice asked, confused, anxious even.

“I’m at the park, on Macquarie Street. I need help.”

To anybody outside, Y/N would have been a terrifying sight. Blood pouring down her face, starting at her brow, a bruise forming quickly on her left cheek, a slight swell misshaping her lip and cuts all over her arm with their own trails of blood.

For Calum, his heart near stopped when he saw her sat on a park bench with her knees pulled to her chest. The sight was a beat more than terrifying. There were no more tears in her eyes, but her cheeks were wet with recent drops. She was staring out into the green landscape as if she no longer inhabited her body. The sun was starting to set behind her.

It took all of his willpower not to rush towards her, simply so he didn’t spook her. She was as rigid as a scared animal, any sudden sounds causing her to flinch.

“Y/N?” He tried softly, stepping cautiously. Her bleary eyes shifted towards him slowly, looking down at his feet before settling into his eyes. Her face shifted into a small smile as she locked onto the warm brown. “What happened?”

With his words, the semblance of a smile dropped. She frowned deeply, a dimple forming softly on her chin before a sob ripped through her chest. Her breathing heaved her body, rocking aggressively as she poured the emotion onto her knees once again. He walked to her faster, resting a hand on her knee and the other on her head.

“Y/N?” She shook his hands off, flinching away from his touch. “Y/N, baby? What happened? Please talk to me about it.”

She gasped, knees unfurling from her near iron grip. She knew the feeling well, it being her third panic attack since she left her home - not her home - the place she used to live. She couldn’t go back there.

Calum knew the signs. He had helped Michael through many attacks before and he acted beyond thought as he sunk to his knees before her, kneeling between her opened legs. His fingers moved to the side of her face gently, as to not cause her any more fear.

The tears had halted again, but she could barely catch her breath. He pulled her head down into his chest, thankful that with his added height against the small park bench, it was not so much of an awkward angle for the frightened girl.

It took all of 2 minutes for her breathing to balance. It was a trick he learned long ago - sometimes physical contact could help Michael with his attacks, and it had proven to be helpful to Y/N.

The silence that followed was pregnant as she rested her head against him. Her fingers had clasped so tightly in his hoodie that he could barely move until she loosened her grip. Slowly, she began to peel her body away from him.

“I- I’m sorry. There’s blood everywhere. I’ll let you go,” she sniffed, her voice airy as she tried to relax her muscles.

“N-no, Y/N,” he stood slowly, choosing to sit next to her instead of on the ground in front of her. “It’s alright, come here. Only if you want to.” He held his arm out, allowing her to make her decision. Slowly, and cautiously, she moved towards him, seeking the comfort of his soft hoodie and his warmth. She let out a shaky breath as she settled in to him. He shushed her softly, moving his arm to loop around her back slowly. “It’s alright, you’re safe, darling. I won’t let you go.”

She mumbled a soft “thank you,” wrapping her arms around his waist delicately. Her forehead nestled into his collarbone, allowing the lower portion of her face to be angled so she could resume her breath maintenance.

“Who did this to you, daring?” His voice was soft, his eyes anywhere but the girl below him. The mere sight of her eliciting a burning rage within his chest. Y/N was so pure, so happy. So kind. The thought that anybody would dare to hurt her - to him, it was blasphemy. “What happened after I left?”

“It was my mum,” her words were incredibly faint, yet Calum’s attentive ears heard every syllable. He tightened his arm around her slightly. “It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last.”

He moved his hands to her shoulders, pulling her off of his chest so that he could survey her face. His fingers were calloused from the strings of his bass, but he made sure to keep his touch featherlight as he ran his finger along her wounded cheek.

It was no, that he finally realized the small scars decorating her eyebrow, her jawline, and even her neck.

“She hurts you?” The thought was unbearable, how could a mother hurt their child in such a way. Y/N was in bad shape, and to know that it was somebody who should love and protect her that did so - he was shaking from fury. “What about your father? Does he-“

“Dads always too drunk to care. He spends his time sucking down beers and verbally abusing us rather than paying attention to the constant crap I get from my mum,” her scoff was full of malice. On the outside, Y/F/N had it all but in reality, her world was a steaming dumpster fire and she spent her time yearning for love. “My parents never wanted me and they have made it obvious. This,” she gestured to her face with a sliced up arm, wincing slightly at the shift of her flesh. “Is because I had stuff in the dining room. Mother prefers I keep my life confined to my bedroom where she can pretend I don’t exist.”

Guilt washed over Calum’s face, “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have pushed to go to your house.”

“It’s fine, Cal. There was bound to be an issue tonight anyways, it’s just our routine,” she sent him a small smile, eyes full of apology and sadness. “Thank you, for coming to my rescue.”

He let his thumb run across her cheekbone, relishing in the feeling of her skin underneath his palm. “Whenever you call, I’ll be there for you Y/N.” There was nothing in his actions to suggest anything but sincerity, specifically in the way his eyes lingered on hers for a second longer than normal. “You can’t go back there, darling.”

Her head hung slightly. She had nowhere to go but there. Of all of her friends, not one of them would take her in and her closest family was out of state. She had no options.

“That’s the only place I have,” she smiled at him, a miserable smile, but a reassuring one. “I’ll be okay.”

“Come to my house,” he offered, eyebrows raising slightly, a pleading pout on his lips.

“Cal, I can’t impose-“

“You’re never imposing, Y/N.” His brows furrowed. “I’ll always keep you safe, I promise.”

A sigh left her chest, her breathing smoothing and functioning correctly on its own accord, before she nodded. Fighting against Calum was a losing battle, but she wasn’t entirely against the idea. There was something drawing her in to him. Something that she couldn’t identify. Whether it be the damsel-in-distress complex that she had adopted that night, or the butterflies that erupted in her belly when he held her close, she wanted to go with him. She wanted to be safe in his arms.

So she nodded, smiling small up at him, her fingers reaching up to hold his own that were still resting on her scarred face.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, a delicate gesture full of comfort and with an inkling of the love that she so desired. “I’ll always protect you, darling.”

Tag list: @starshonerose @mantlereid @killerqueenishere @snookiebrookie @theanswertoeverythingisl0v3 @another-lonely-heart

[fanartfunart]

@sapony01​ commented on one of my Sides Swap posts: Can you explain their function and personality a bit better/explore them? Some are kinda obvious but some kinda confuse me

And, but of course! I’m totally open to it! (I’m mostly making another post for it because otherwise it’ll get absurdly long)

To summarize, the main idea is that they keep their personality and secondary traits they represent (Like Ego, Emotionality, ect), while further representing the Main Trait (like Anxiety, Creativity, ect)

The rest under the cut:

Anxiety

Roman: His key representation of Anxiety would befall closer to overemphasizing bravery and ignoring problems, and of course, insecurities. Thus a focus on Dangers you can Fight, and avoiding things you can’t. A emphasis on the Knight theme as a representation of bravery. He’d use ego and theatricality as a cover- a ‘be weird before people can accuse you of being weird because then it’s on purpose’ type logic.

Patton: The type of Anxiety where you emotionally over extending yourself because you’re scared of social-emotional repercussions. Caring so much that there’s no time and energy to care for yourself. Also a good representation of the Dad-Friend override for Anxiety.

Logan: A representation of over-analyzing the world like an outsider, that emotional distance that, while you’re curious of all the things around you, you can’t help but focus on the bad. Avoidance becomes a key factor and everything is categorized as bad or good off of exaggerated ‘proof’.

Janus: Very self protective to the point that things outside the Comfort Zone are almost always negative and overwhelming. Sarcasm, brittleness, and lying as a way to avoid things outside the Comfort Zone.

Remus: Overthinking creating an Anxious reaction. Basically seeing things in the shadows and over-analyzing interactions. Essentially worries cropping up out of the idea of various terrible things you can think of possibly coming at you from the smallest of hints to it. Also Knight theme because why not.

Creativity 

Logan: A more organized and analytic approach to creative works. Prone to being a literary critic. Draws from media to explain a point. As creativity would likely be the type of writer that hides details and metaphors in everything, focus on foreshadowing and the such.

Janus: Never lets anything be direct, people should be able to make their own conclusions about the meaning of the text. Probably thinks method acting is fun. The kind of actor/writer that easily shrugs on different types of characterizations that it makes other people dizzy seeing him switch between them.

Virgil: Your inner Emo Art Phase personified (everyone has at least one somewhere in there). Would prefer to be either a lesser known creator, or not let Thomas use his real name (thus Ghostwriter), because being Known is Awkward and his work can get too real, being known as a real person could detract from the art. Focus on art as an outlet for expressing negative feelings and stress relief.

Patton: Take your craft-happy relative who always hand-makes gifts and you’ve got Creativity Patton. Just wants to have fun and share the fun. Draws from positive emotional experiences for creativity because he wants to give everyone who sees said art a hug through said art. (Yes, his design is vaugely based off of Disney’s Pinocchio Geppetto aka Pinocchio’s dad.)

Remus: Take Remus as he is, and then take the ‘intrusiveness’ out of him. He basically has all the same horrifying ideas, but he doesn’t use them to make Thomas upset or anything, he’s just making stories.

Logic

Patton: Sorta a relaxed logic, understands not everything can be solved with a clean logical solution and that emotions hold a important space in people’s actions. Is that little logical voice when you’re super mad going ‘you’re mad because this, this, and this, and this is probably an overreaction to what you’re expressing your anger to, but it’s still valid.’ Prone to emotional fallacies though.

Virgil: You know any super cool teacher/professor who teaches you what the book says and then closes the book and says ‘ok now guess what, they’re also wrong, and I’m probably wrong too’?? Virgil as logic. (also why I kinda gave him the ‘tired + university hoodie’ style) Emphasizes learning from various sources and never trusting any of them 100%. Doesn’t trust his own information either, and it makes him stressed.... but like, he’s always stressed anyway so it’s chill. 

Roman: Bounces from topic to topic to learn. Very curious and easily inspired- also easily distracted. The definition of what a liberal arts education should be doing- aka, connecting seemingly unrelated topics. An Encyclopedia of very specific information. But, once he’s got a set of information it’s hard to let go of it, which makes it hard to adjust to being told he’s wrong.

Janus: Emphasis on how information is always being adjusted, and people’s biases are always present in studies and interpretation. Focuses on debunking things. Also kinda makes it hard to 100% be sure of any information presented.

Remus: Enjoys abusing the ‘technicalities’ in things. A little hard to follow in terms of train of thought. Disturbing Facts are still facts.

Morality

Virgil: Emphasis on sympathy and ‘do what you’d hope people would do for you’ moral arguments. Focus on social structure for the ground rules for moral behavior. That guy who’s constantly nice because he wished someone was nice to him, ya know? Hates the idea of being a bad person so much that it causes a lot of guilt and mistrust of the self.

Logan: Thinks of moral behavior as an equation of sorts. People do good things and that causes good things and that allows the social structure to work as it should, so do good things. Draws on philosophy and other social sciences to argue his points. Easy to readjust his thinking with proper reasoning.

Roman: Just wants people to be happy! And to be good! Emphasis on the reactions of others and how that effects your social/emotional well-being. Do good because it feels good kinda guy (he wants to be somebody’s Hero, ya know how it be).

Janus: Understands that morality is such a grey place that most anything can be seen as bad if you argue it enough. Places value on the self as someone deserving of feeling good as well, and bases moral values on what you as an individual wants to do. Also still kinda morally grey in general and probably shouldn’t always be listened to.

Remus: I Follow no Rules but My Own. Full rejection of social pressures. What precisely that means for his resulting moral standing is up to debate.

Deceit

Logan: Woorsst lair because he’ll twist truth and facts into it and it’s hard to pick out what’s the lie. Very blunt about his role as deception and its benefits and drawbacks. Very good about remembering which lies were told when and to who. Not the kind to lie more than seen necessary.

Roman: Focus on lying as acting and getting to where you need to go in life. ‘Fake it til you make it’ is his motto and it also includes mental states. Makes it hard to be honest about feelings. Very much a ‘lying to yourself’ aspect.

Virgil: Lying to avoid perceived negative repercussions. Lying still bothers him- as lying can also cause negative reactions. Focus on lying in reaction to events, less so on lying to the self. Not every lie is especially necessary though, knee-jerk reactions and fear make it very easy to lie. Lies of omission being the most utilized.

Remus: The opposite to Roman’s ‘lying to yourself’. Lying to others just to see their reactions. Uses being ‘blatantly honest’ about taboo subjects to seem honest about other things.

Patton: Lying to spare people’s feelings and being perceived well. Focus on lying or omitting the truth to seem like everything’s awesome.

Intrusive Thots

Patton: Makes emotional reactions overwhelmingly hard to gauge and control, results in terrifying thoughts and feelings with little control or filter. Gets stuck on ideas because of how hard he’s trying to push it away (yea know, like the white bear experiment).

Virgil: Thinks in problem solving, but the problems are of course, the thoughts of his own creation. Incessant about ‘solving’ the perceived problem.... not much else changes.

Logan: The Mad Scientist aesthetic is fun, what can I say? Takes facts and focuses on the scary parts, and then brings them back up on the slightest hint of relevance, and sometimes just Because. Some of it is curiosity taken into a frightening territory and gets overwhelming.

Janus: Emphasis on what happens if terrible things happened. Also likes using the ‘you’re gonna go to hell anyway just dive in with me’ argument. Occasionally pops up in a way that sounds almost nice, then turns horrifying very quickly.

Roman: Take Roman, make his ideas more Remus. He’s already Loud and Proud, just make him scarier, and a little more incessant and probably a little more arrogant for good measure.

[vynnyal]

Throwing random thoughts, headcanons, and a variety of pasta at the wall (but only those having to do with vessels and/or their biology this time): The Thrilling Third Installment™

...aka pretending i can be dark and dramatic jskhdfd

Thk's larger form is not the standard, but the exception. Thk was cited as being "raised and trained to prime form", which people take to mean pk assisted in the vessel's natural growth. However, that conclusion leaves a lot of unanswered questions, most important of which being “then what about Ghost?” In short, I think that train of thought is backwards. Vessels can't grow- they are ageless, and immortal. We know this due to Ghost, despite living as long if not longer than thk, being completely unchanged over the years. The only thing pk trained into "prime form" was thk’s mind and fighting prowess. Their body... well, I think it was mutated. Most likely either directly by pk, or ordered by him- and with the shenanigans happening over in the sanctum, I wouldn't be surprised if Soul was involved, too. In any case, it was in no means natural. Vessels are corpses reanimated by void; neither corpses nor void tend to make drastic changes on their own all that often. Whether pk predicted the vessel’s “issues” and intended to manually “upgrade” them from the beginning, it's hard to say. But... yeah. Unless Ghost goes out of their way to make themselves grow- if its even possible, now that pk is gone- its fairly safe to say, they never will.

...with that in mind, we are promptly gonna ignore that for the rest of this post lmaooo

Grown-up vessels wouldn't look like thk; while they are described as being raised into "prime form"... prime form, to whom? Rather than looking like an idealized pk soldier, it sounds much more fitting that they’d have an entirely different, natural adult form. Consider: their cloaks being longer and fuller, perhaps filling out into something with a more practical use to their “species”. Better yet, they could even grow up to be more beast-like. Feral vessels, YEhaW

The black egg temple is cited as being "built to sustain [vessels]", yet it can't be their lifespan that is sustained. Rather, it seems the egg is specifically designed to keep the radiance from tearing thk apart, physically and/or mentally. Ngl its p obvious, but worth noting.

Sorta-au where Ghost’s shade has 8 eyes, and/or is generally all-around more cryptid-looking.

@ the sharpshadow charm and the strange, 6-eyed creature their shade turns into: kudos to this post, they bring up something super interesting- the creature not only resembles the Shade Lord, but the lord outright becomes it during the Embrace the Void cutscene.

makes me respect the ol’ civilization a whole lot more if a single charm can turn a baby shade into a baby lord.

The concept of finding ghosts unconscious body, laying next to a corpse, while they battle in their dreams. Alt: when ghost enters the dream realm, their shade leaves their shell... And protects their body from harm.

If steel soul mode is taken as canon, just how did ghost and the shade meet? Alt: Ghost may never have “met” it at all, as it technically doesn’t exist in that mode- instead, its more of a metaphor than an actual entity.

What the vessels looked like- or were supposed to look like- before the void. Alt: a story following a child, alive and untouched, that somehow managed to be spared. They could even have a gender. Alt alt: the void intentionally spared them for some purpose, or even out of simple kindness- or at least, something that resembles kindness.

Re: the shade inexplicably having a nail: all the vessel's swords are crafted from “will-bearing rock”- of which i’ve come to lovingly call living stone- and as such, are of void themselves. That's how the shade seems to conjure up its own copy; it merely shapes it, from the ground, using void. And, while more of a stretch, Ghost’s nail being some sort of living stone/pale ore alloy could explain just how Ghost can do seemingly pretty crazy things with an otherwise ordinary nail. Better, while 100% a baseless hc, its material might actually enable Ghost to build it up and modify it to suite their size as they grow older. finally, a logical reason adult Ghost has an adult-sized nail-claymore. hdsfghjfghdsjf

On that same thought: Ghost outright invented the "art" of manipulating- or creating- living stone to make their nail. ...gimme a sec. The other escaped vessels have nails, too, right? Either meaning they also discovered this ability... or that theres some legitimate ground for the “vessel gang” hc. Or, yanno, i’m reading too much into Ari’s sprites but sHHhh

How did all the vessels know to race to the top? They seemed to be falling merely because they had just been born and had literal, actual baby strength; yet not only did they inexplicably risk everything competing to the top, they somehow knew death was waiting if they lost. Alt: pk just, bringing a fucking megaphone and telling them like a sports announcer.

What if Ghost made it, and instead of falling, they managed to joined thk at the lip? What would pk do? Push them off the edge??? Or just adopt them both?? Oh fuck au where they're raised as twin sacrifices. Or worse yet, they’re raised unequally, and one is trained only as an afterthought. As a backup.

Alternatively, pk keeps all the vessels au, only a few years later when they're grown. Pk now has a literal army of pure knights. Radiance is fucked.

Hm. If vessels were fully coherent entities from the moment of birth, why was there a crib in the white palace? Did... did they use it? I have a feeling team cherry made that asset before the abyss scene lmaooo alt: they did, uh, use the crib. Cue a very awkward scene of thk, clearly not a normal baby, staring at wl with like... idk, the poofy baby hat and pacifier. I can’t tell if the image is more funny or more sad rn shdfgfjsdgg

The og notes that inspired this post, in case my rambling makes more sense (and w/o the awful comic hjsfgjsdfhj): Oh oh OH i GET it now. The void is all about "will" and whatnot, right? And shades are "fragments of a lingering will"- will, like the one you leave after your death, but instead of inheritance its the vessels' desires...last regrets.... DAMN team cherry, that symbolism is clever as heck. That took me a while. Kinda funny how a will is, technically, a person's last regrets Like I knew they were last regrets but I didn't understand WHY. Duh, it's because they're literally Made Of Will. They are the vessel's "wills". I'm so stupid.

Ghost, walking thru the abyss, getting increasingly fed up / freaked out, ducking into a crack in the wall. They follow the crack into the Scream Chamber, pause, then exhale in relief that this was EXACTLY what they needed.

Ghost's shade rolling up its void-sleeves like “fuck it, ima defeat thk myself”

Why was thk's sword there? Was its pedestal decayed? Did it fall from their body? Was it place there as an afterthought, or hurriedly? alt: taking thk's sword before freeing them, but doing the mom thing like you're grounding them hdhfjchjch

I can’t believe it just occured to me now, but... as objectivley stupid as the vessel’s test was, Ghost... technically came in second place. What if that whole scene was a metaphor? Because really, it’s just too silly to take seriously. To do so isn’t too far fetched, either; many other elements in the game’s story are better taken as symbolic or metaphorical, anyways. Take the PoP cutscene- while it could’ve been a literal moment, where they just happened to find themselves standing around and took the moment to appreciate each other... imo it makes much more sense to read it as the concept of their faint ~forbidden love~ and parental pride itself. Or, better yet, the scene at the end of the 4th pantheon. Sorry, but I severely doubt that was an actual event. What I’m trying to get at is the significance of “second place” in the cutscene. My brain is too fried to chase down any other possible connections to this theme rn (if thats even what the theme is), but even without proof, the theory smooths out a few interesting tidbits related to just how Ghost could tough it out when all others failed. All except for #1, anyway. Either way I’m just happy to take this as an excuse to pretend that cutscene didn’t literally happen because like, l m a o

The story of a small group of vessels as they work together to escape hallownest. (aka the aforementioned vessel gang hc... im sure theres a more formal name but you get the idea). Its impossible to tell how long it took them to discover that near-invisible hole, the last exit remaining after the king ordered the abyss to be sealed up. Once they did, however, the remaining vessels were quick to make a desperate scramble to escape- only for the entrance to suddenly crumble shut, far, far too soon. The remaining 8 slowly made their way through deepnest, their numbers quickly dwindling as the jouney started to take its toll. The group was nearly wiped out by those terrible, spiney-legged creatures that used their own kinship against them. Only three finally escaped the deep, yet only two made it through the basin- the third, largest sibling, left to fight alone againt a hopeless battle, just to buy the others time. It was in greenpath, so close yet so far to their goal, that the second succumbed to the infection. It was a mercy killing, that nail through the heart. The last, after all of that, finally made their way to the very precipice of howling cliffs, hesitating for just a moment to gaze out upon the still-fresh ruins of hallownest. But only for a moment, before Ghost jumps down to begin their journey beyond this wretched place.

A vessel running from its shade as it tirelessly pursues them, the vessel refusing to put it to rest.

tw: suicide, + personal on main

Ugh ugh ugh ugh Either thk was fully conscious and in terrible pain for all those years... or they couldn’t feel anything at all. The former is horrible, but imagining thk waking up, chained, unable to do anything but wait for Ghost to heed their call? Did they turn their nail on themselves to help Ghost, end the pain, or some awful mix of both? For someone who has personally dealt with close friends and family that struggled with suicide themselves, hollowknight is one of the worst horror stories I've ever seen. And the fact that the story is so personal, so open to interpretation? The fact that each character is so genuine yet vague enough to be read completely differently to someone else’s biases? Its why hollow knight- the game, and the character- will forever be one of the most powerful stories to me.

in short, good LORD THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING SAD

[popculturebuffet]

Reviewcaps: X-Men Evolution: Strategy X

I take my first look at X-Men Evolution the second and less famous, but no less loved, cartoon about everyones faviorite mutant outcasts. In our first episode Scott blows up a gas station, Nightcrawler finds what it feels like to have a home, Toad tries to join the x-men and both of the latter two end up nearly dying because Chuck forgot to teleport proof the one room in the house with deadly lasers. All this and football under the cut. 

A few days ago I realized something weird: I hadn’t reviewed any superhero cartoons on here. What makes that weird to me, is that I realized when writing this that Superhero cartoons are what MADE me a superhero fan in the first place. I grew up as a little kid watching the spider-man and x-men animated series, and watched most marvel shows that came about as I grew, and became a lifelong fan of Green Lantern and the Flash thanks to Justice League , the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles thanks to the 2003 cartoon (another franchise I absolutley adore I haven’t covered on here for some reason) and the Teen Titans thanks to well.. Teen Titans, not to mention all the great original superhero shows at the time like the legendary Danny Phantom (even if butch heartman can take a short walk into a cave full of bears lately), My Life as a Teenage Robot, El Tigre.. the list of good shit goes on. So being on an X-Men kick again lately, I decided to revisit what turned out to be one of the first of this wave, and a show I’d had the opporoutnity to binge for a while , first on hulu and then on D+, and wanted to revisit to see how it holds up, while, if not as fast as I watch them, reviewing them here to combine my two intrests. And it probably wont’ be the last marvel animated series I binge or cover here, nor the last superhero show I cover so if you have any, Marvel, DC, from other companies or completely original, shoot me an ask or reply to this and i’ll see if I can get to it. For now we’re starting the evolution.  Evolution was the first X-Men cartoon, and somehow one of 5 overall not counting the hulk vs wolverine movie, pryde of the x-men pilot and various crossover apperances in other cartoons, to follow the 90′s one, which as you probably know was a huge hit that defined the x-men for a generation of young fans, was a huge sucess and launched the mostly great sorta shared cartoon universe with classics like Spider-Man the Animated Series (Which not concidentally is what made me a lifelong fan of the webslinger), The Incredible Hulk, and the second season of Iron Man and Fantastic Four.. and yes only the second as the first seasons were both by entirely diffrent creative teams and gave us things like this. 

Yes that is Johnny Storm doing an objetivley terrible hip hop song, no it dind’t cause that building to sink into the earth, and yes it is so bad it’s delcioius. Sadly the rest of hte series is more flat and boring than “bwahahahaha” but my point is made. The point is Evolution had a steep hill to climb, and with the previous cartoon compressing most of the decades long Chris Claremont era and some of what came after into 5 seasons of good if cheesy stuff, the creators clearly, if only because Ic an’t find a making of, decided to go in a diffrent route, making their own unique take on the characters and world of the x-men instead.  For starters rather than being vetrans with years of experince, either from being an x-man or just from general life experince like the comics were since the 70′s aside from the ocasinal exception like Kitty Pryde and Jubilee, they’d be teens, grappling with hormones alongside blue fur, head lasers and not being able to touch anyone. This wasn’t something x-men had shied away from, New Mutants and Generation X existed, but it was the first time in decades the X-Men themselves were kids. Sure Storm and Wolverine weren’t aged down, but there were just as many missions that were just these teenagers hoping to surivive the experince and keep mutants a secret till the world was ready.. and then dealing with the fallout when an unready and hateful world found out anyway. And I honeslty like the direction: The previous series had done the mostly straight adaptation bit, there wasn’t anywhere to go and aging scott and jean back to teens, and having nightcrawler and rouge get to be ones for the first time though, was an intresting idea, as was having Kitty Pryde be a teen alongside them instead of their plucky teenage member  Another intresting direction was, while Xavier’s still existed and was where the cast lived and learned to use their powers, the X-Men also went to regular high school. While it’d take till season 3 for them to actually have to deal with being out mutants in the setting, it was still an intresting tactic: The X-school in the comics, while no less studious is still an isoalted boarding school and when the New Mutants met some friends in town, most had only heard whispers about the old Xavier Mansion and were delighted to visit for a slumber party.. granted this being an x-men schindig our heroes ended up having to deal with an alien who eventually became one of their closest friends that night but still, for the x-men having the robot, or technoorganic in this case, NOT try to murder them on purpose and be a loveable 80′s sidekick instead is an easy night. While i’ts not done perfectly here from what I can remember, the main human characters we see are nightcrawlers love intrest amanda (who is thankfully NOT his adopted sister this time around thank christ), local stock blond football bully and flash thompson impersonator Duncan, and Scott’s nondiscript friend paul, who I can’t think of without thinking two things; one , what do you WANT paul: 

I mean a man so vauge just can’t be trusted. The second is that paul looks a lot like Doug Ramsey and i’m suprised they didn’t just.. make him Doug and have him go through a similar arc from the comics:A crush on kitty and the rest of the team finding out he’s a mutant and eventually bringing him into their world. For those unaware Doug Ramsey is a mutant with the ablility to translate any languge, including computer code from the get go and body laungage when he came back, an easy fix to him being the non-combatant of the group no one thought of, who died tragically in story sacrifcing himself to save his girlfriend’s life and out of story because the artist tricked the writer into killing him off. Thankfully he did come back about two decades later, took a level in badass thanks to a combination of the body language thing above meaning he could anticipate moves and dodge and computers having advanced to the point that part of his powers was now 80 times more useful, and has recently become a key part of the dawn of x relaunch. He’s also a faviorite of mine as you can probably tell and given how much the early 2000′s loved their computers, it’s weird to me they didn’t think of this and it’s even weirder he didn’t show up with the lions share of the other new mutants next season, along with Karma and Warlock which somehow has become a recurring theme thanks to the movie saving them for sequels that ended up not happening because fox stupidly put the movie in Limbo where it remains until maybe next month.  But yeah even if muted a bit the idea of the x-men going to a public school alongside their training is a decent one.. sure a hero going through high school is again a cliche, but it’s a thing the x-men hadn’t done in this way before or sense, and was intresting to see in action. Most high school scnees in x-comics are usually some poor mutant having their powers manifest and either hurting someone by accident, being treated like crap for it by their class or hunted down for accidently hurting someone before the x-men show up to kick their asses and welcome this youngster. Or getting rejected by family and friends then coming to the x-men.. there’s a lot of angst directions to go in. My point is we’d never seen the x-men try to blend in and have a more standard school experince, and combining that with them hiding their powers instead of being out in the open at first made for a unique dynamic for the x-men that makes well tread ground nice nad fresh even 20 years later. 

So that’s our basic setup going in: The X-men wake up, go to school, then save the world or train to save the world while harnesing wonderful and dangerous powers and protecting the helpless agaist less charitable mutants. The basic x-setup with a 2000′s era superhero high school show flavor. Good stuff. But we’ll see what it does with this premise, how good it holds up and what’s still delightfuly cheesy about it as I take a nice look at the first episode Strategy X

We open at night and

Yup Scott and Jean are at the football team where the aforementioned Duncan, guy voted most likely to peak in high school in last year’s yearbook poll, is playing some foot ball and trying to flit with Jean Grey whose the first X-Man we meet and is somehow receptive to this despite his radaiating douche and is lucky this Jean’ , unlike say the time transfered one from the comics who thought the best approach to helping Bobby Drake come out of the closet so he could help his older self do the same and be his best self, was to just blunty say he’s gay and refuse to let him explore thtt for himself or get someone more quliafied to help her. And yes that did indeed happen and yes the original x-men were brought into the present for a while and yes it was weird Moving on. Still i’m pretty sure duncan’s thoughts would read like  “Man she looks good.. I want to bang her so hard she uh.. wakes up sideways.. yeah that’s it. Your a legend duncan, a total legend. “.  As you can probably tell I don’t have fond memories of this character or this sorta but not really love triangle, and question why they couldn’t of just had spyke be the other man in the triangle if they wanted to do this. Granted Spyke himself is kinda annoying, but it still makes more sense to have him fill in for angel or wolverine in a jean-scott love triangle than this walking burnt end. The warren, scott one worked, as much as a 60′s love triangle could because warren was conventionally handsome and had angel wings while scott has to keep glasses on just to not murder anyone he looks at, so there’s a bit of contrast there, while with WOlverine it’s straight laced dependeble scott versus unhinged manly man Logan. You know before recently where they just decided to all bone in a pile and wolverine even goes on vacation with them. And that’s not a joke I made up, that’s actual canon. Both make logical sense while Jean would be intrested in both in the former case, as Scott was still a kind and dependable leader, and tempted in the latter case if never acting on it before recently and with her husband’s full consent and either watching from the closet or taking one up the ass for jean to watch. Duncan in contrast is just wholly unlikeable and it makes me question why use him as the third in this love triangle, ESPECIALLY since the show would later introduce another scott and jean based love triangle with Rogue wanting scott that’s way more intresting, and even people wanting those two to hook up don’t want Jean with Duncan! Instead of creating a vitable alternative to make a later love triangle more intresting or create some shipping wars or anything of value any hint jean may be intrested just wastes screentime and tests my patience and is thankfully breif here.  As for why Jean’s here sh’es taking pictures for the school paper since the Daily Bugle wasn’t intrested in photos that weren’t of spider-man and they already had a teen photographer for that. Porker or something. Anyways this episode ofa low rent friday night lights knockoff is interuptted when one of duncan’s buddies on the team spots local trouble maker and ,judging by context, bully punching bag Todd Tolansky, aka Toad which is a cruel nickname turned slightly lesss cruel code name here, pick pocketing the people in the stands, and sensing a flimsy context to punch a nerd, Duncan goes to tell the coah he’ll be busy for a moment totally not carving someone’s face in again. Coach says as long as he leaves him breathing, and through a straw still counts and since their so far ahead as long as he’s back for the celebratory rampage anything goes.  Also spotting Toad’s stan pines approved sticky fingers is Scott Summers, leader of x-men and all around cool guy. Scott here is a bit more emotive than he was int he comics at a time, a trait he’d have later on in the late 2000′s and even currently and a version I prefer to the “has something shoved so far up his ass you can see it when he opens his mouth” boring straightman of the 90′s cartoon. He’s a bit more impulsive, a bit more emotivie but still a good and well thought out leader and the tactical genius, at least as far as I can remember, that he’s known for being. IT’s a good portayal so far, it reminds me of 2k12 leonardo: he’s still growing into being a leader in some way but clearly has the talent and drive for it and a deep sense of heroism> That deep sense is shown here as Scott leaves to go confront toad.. and then confronts Duncan and buds when he finds them about to squish Toad. Unlike Duncan, whose “heroism” consits of a filmy excuse to beat a third hole into todd’s head, Scott wanted to stop Toad because it’s the right thing to do, and wants to stop Duncan because his actions are just as wrong: Sure Toad is stealing stuff, but it’s clear from the way he and his buddies grin widlly at seieng toad pick pocket that they just want an excuse to pummel the kid and not get in trouble for it. It’s confirmed when Scott makes a resonable offer: Since Toad still has the money and most of the lifted wallets, he can return what he stole, which Toad not wanting to die today agrees to, but Duncan refuses. Scott however gets the three thrown to the ground and while Toad escapes, with the two other idiots in persuit, an enraged duncan attacks. But since Scott Summers, even teen scott summers has batman level judo, it’s an even fight despite Duncan being bigger and more muscular.. until Jean runs in shouts scott no.. despite you know Duncan starting this and Scott merley defending himself, distracts Scott long enough for him to get shoved to the ground.. and loose his googles, sending an optic blast out before he can clamp his eyes shut, knocking duncan over and igniting a nearbye propane tank. Toasty! Also yikes.  Cue the opening theme and credits. While the opening Creidts are very 2000′s, they aren’t half bad but the main draw is the theme song which.. honestly I feel is great and very close to the 90′s x-men theme in quality, only not being AS good because that one’s one of the best theme songs period. but this one’s no slouch as it’s fun, energetic and will get stuck in your head. Good stuff.  After the theme we cut back to the credits where Scott is closing his eyes despeartly holding his powers in. It was a good opening and a great way to show off the premise of the show and just how dangerous mutant powers can be even accidnetally, with this followup showing it’s not inetentional. it was even shown before as while scott’s eyes flash, he notably never uses his powers in the fight and they only came about accidnetally. We also get some JeanScott ship tease as she finds his glasses ,and with Duncan having a concusion and not remembering anything, a bit that hasn’t aged well, things seem well.. except the cop seems to notice something supscious.. before help arrives in a rolls royce. Charles Xavier, voiced by the icomprable David Kaye who I feel is one of the best daviers and does a great job here and quickly makes the guy see nothing supscious, a classic use of his powers and an understdanable one: while yea going into someone’s mind isn’t a great tihng to do.. scott being possibly outed as a mutant this way would only land the poor boy in a jail cell, as it did for Bobby Drake in the comics when his own powers activated and hurt someone. We also meet storm who unlike the others isn’ aged downa nd is one of two senior staffers for the school, a touch I like as she was a great mentor figure to kitty pryde and the comics and the roll suits her, while evolution also tones down the ham 80 degrees so she’s even more like the comics; reserved but utterly confident and badass and a good #2 to xavier. Xavier also likely wiped Duncan’s memory of scott’s power triggering I figure.. I mean he could’ve got concussed but I wouldn’t be suprised if chuck manipualted that too. Jean comforts Duncan for.. again some reason. Like he was just in a fight with her best friend and she’s a telepath.. I get she’s being respectful but time and place. Scott is naturally Jelly, but Toad.. genuinely thanks Scott for the help while Scott brushes it off. It was the right thing to do and Toad is still a creep, but it’s still a nice gesture. Also toad eats a fly to show that yep he too is  a mutant.  Xavier and Storm go to the train station and pick up a mysterious teen clad all in robes. Ohohoo hominus.  Meanwhile somewhere in the westchester area, Wolverine comes in! Snkity sknikty snoik. He’s voiced by, and dresses exactly like, Scott McNeil, a vetran and awesome voice actor who I honestly think does a better job than his prdecessor. Not that 90′s wolverine is bad, it’s just McNeil has more of a range even while keeping the gutteral growl of hte former and can tur it off at times while his previous acto rwas pretty much on snarl mode constantly. He wasn’t bad, all the 90′s voice actors were at 100 most of the time and undersndably given the hamm nature of that cartoon, but its’ still a ncie change of pace and one we’d see again with steve blum in the next cartoon. More on that obviously when i inevitably cover Wolverine and the X-Men He picks up a paper about the explosion, and sensing he must go his people need him, cuts the top off the water he ordered, because you can’t get beer on a childrens cartoon, and thanks the clerk who wonders what the fuck just happened. And it’s a weird ass scene especially because in this series the x-men are trying to keep a lid on mutants and Logan’s just .. causally cutting off a water bottle because fuck it. It fits the character a LITTLE but it’s still just weird and out of place. Speaking of weird and out of place sabertooth is stalking logan on a mountaintop because.. 

Thank you wrestlecrap. He dosen’t show up again and is apparently introduced several episodes from now, and sports a design similar to the 2000 movie which isn’t a terrible look apart from the long lead singer from Creed haircut. The next morning at Xavier’s scott’s annoyed at jean taking her time in the bathroom because “women amirite?”.. yeah... 

On that gag. Before the two dart off for school Xavier calls them in to meet the new kid: Kurt Wagner, aka Nightcrawler, whose blue and fuzzy as ever, though without the fully yellow eyes he usually sports, though I figure it’s less because they wanted to make him more humanoid, though his Kelso from that 70′s show hair certainly helps with that too, and more because that way his human disguise he’ll get in a bit can just be an easily just recolor and redres his civlilan design. Though why he couldn’t just have the yellow eyes in elf form and give him regular ones in transducer form, epsecially since they had to make a whole new outfit and ears for his non elf form anyway is beyond me, but whatever. At least he’s a full part of the team here and oh so adorkable.  As you can probably wager by the fact there’s only 3 x-men and one asshole here, Evolution takes it’s time introducing everybody, the first few episodes using the debut queue style of storytelling and introducing the main cast about one or two per episode.. which I like a lot as it gives each of the x-men room to breathe and get a proper introduction, while usually doing the same for the latest addition to the brotherhood. IT’s a godo way to ease us into a decently sized main cast and let each get their own origin story of sorts. Good stuff. 

Jean and Scott are shocked by the poor boys three fingers, but Charles helps asuage kurt.. by pointing out scott’s fuckup then berating him. Both don’t come off great: Scot whines about having two cannonballs under his eyes, which while fair is something he knew going into a situation where they might get knocked off and didn’t prepare for, while Charles lambasts him for “not having more control”.. and his tone implies it’s more about his POWERS. If it was about self control fine, that’d be godo character stuff but if it’s of his powers..  Scott didn’t use his powers at all during the breif scuffle and was only let loose by pure shock, and something you easily covered for minus the explosion part. It could just be both having a point but I dunno. But with that Xavier does show kurt that even human passing mutants like Scott have huge struggles and he no longer is alone. Jean is curious what his power is and Kurt demonstrates his teleporting, impressing both and bonding the three a bit. Xavier sends them off to school, and they’ll talk more about kurt tonight.  At school Toad is getting dressed down by principle darkholme, aka mistque whose apparently also his boss.. yes while the founding x-men are two upstanding well trained, if one a bit hot headed youths, Mystque got.. a guy who pick pockets because as we later see the house she got for them looks like the ghosts of the frat who used to live there did a number on the place. Yeah easy to see why your guys later become the comic relief villians Raven. Anyways she plans to have Toad use his newfound leverage with scott to try and sneak in with the x-men before shapeshifting into a knockoff brood to scare him because she’s a dick. Also how the hell would she explain that if someone walked in and DIDN’T comically walk right back out and just explose her posing as a monster for the student body to see. Not a bad show of her powers but a really goofy and nonsenical one. Also yeah unlike the comics raven can change her shape further than just humanoid.

Back at the school Kurt is excited to see his spacious and luxrious room, his parents, whoever they were, having sent him here, and is even more excited when Xavier gives him a gift; an image inducer. This is something that actually comes from the comic: it’s a device disgused as a watch that holographically makes Kurt look like your standard human. Kurt in the comics of course used it to look like errol flynn.  Naturally Chris Claremont eventually realized the implications of a person of a minority who looks diffrent masquerading as someone else to blend in and Kurt later decided to go without it, as he shoudln’t have to hide himself. Evolution does use it better though: For starters when Kurt says he’s finally normal, Ororo assures him he always was, this is just to help a bit and the idea of him needing to blend in makes sense since the x-kids are going to public high school and mutantkind is more hidden to avoid prosecution. It’s sitll a BIT shaky, but it’s at least trying to avoid a lot of the pitfalls of the concept and modernizie it a bit and I can give them credit for that. 

Back at School scott’s preparing to lunch, telling paul to save him a seat. Good old Paul, when Toad comes up to him thanking him again and revealing his own mutant powers and stealing Scott’s glasses because that’s how you charm someone. Toad offers to hang but Scott wisely refuses and moves on though he does use the cafeteria pay phone to call Charles, who already found out about todd via Cerebro and despite Scott’s understandable reservations about letting a literally slimy pick pocket who talks like goddamn j-roc , know what i’m sayin, into the team, Charles in a very charles xavier move says they can’t turn their back on ANY mutant, even the assholes. Now read that in a patrick stewart voice. Your welcome. Scott wonders if he should ask Todd over to play fooseball and ask about joining his teen militia but Chalres said no need, he’ll take care of the audition himself. He then explains Cerebro to a curious kurt, global telepathic mutant tracker basically, and prepares for the audition. 

That night Toad goes to the mansion.. with a costume already. And rather than evaluate all the costumes up front i’m going to do so as they show up in series. As such.. toad’s is REALLY good, a nice armor look with a small part peaking up resembling a collar of some sort , a nice update of his silver age costume’s collar. It really feels frog like and really is neat. Storm, who is watering her garden a detail I like, heads out and rains on his parade. Her costume is fine, a standard storm outfit, nothing really outstanding but still not bad. Storm then sends lighting at him to see what happens when a Toad is struck by lighting.. probably the same as everything else before he runs inside and runs into kurt. 

Kurt then shows up, and while I’d forgottten this, he was already in costume from earlier having gotten his at the same time as the inducer. His costume.. is about the same as the comics except hte gloves and boots are yellow, i’m somehwat eh on it but I get doing so to have him fit with the black and yellow color scheme of most of the other x-men in some way. Though i’d love to see a black and yellow redesign of his classic oufit someday that’d look spiffy. But yeah it’s pretty good and one of the standouts of the evolution costumes. The two trade barbs thanks to toad being kind of a dick about nightcrawler and end up having a petty squabble and tussle for a bit around the mansion. Xavier still considers Toad x-men material while Storm considers not missing with lightning this time. In all seriousnes this is more good character stuff for Charles, as it shows that no matter how troublesome, he’ll welcome any mutant child in with open arms. Though I question why neither questions the fact that a mutant they just met somehow brought his own top of the line uniform, but I chalk it up to that probably not having been written into the episode and either being an error or execs wnating to show off his battle suit to have a proper superhero tussle to close out the episode.  However said tussle, which is really more a hilarious fight between an asshole and a dork, is interupted when Kurt accidnetly ports them into the danger room, an x-men staple.. no really “new mutant accidently enters or finds the danger room” is old hat at this point, most iconically with Kitty in the comics shortly after she joined. 

Naturally not wanting to have to clean up another set of teen corpses, he just got the Vulcan smell out of there, Xavier dispatches Cyclops and Jean to go deal with it.. since Jean dosen’t have a code name here since marvel forgets to try and get her a non phonenix one better than marvel girl and it annoys me. Anyways fashion show time again, and yes i’m aware these aren’t from strategy x, but I didn’t want to just use hte model sheet shots from the wiki so I combed for decent action shots. Scotty’s costume is decent, a bit bulky with the very 90′s shoulder pads and boots, but otherwise looks pretty good, a nice combination of his 90′s uniform and his second x-factor uniform. Even with the bulk it looks really good. On the oppsite end.. we have Jean, who easily has the worst outfit of the main x-men by a mile, with a weird lime green stripe for some reason. Maybe they were going for phonenix colors I dunno, but it just looks half assed in comparison to the rest of the gangs outfit. The gold rings and fingerless gloves are a nice touch, but this one’s still just bland in comparison. Like they couldn’t figure out how to update jeans 90′s outfit so they put her in a jassercise outfit instead. 

Scott and Jean arrive with Jean saving nightcrawler, Kurt asking if sh’es an angel, she asking if he’s a demon and me asking if I can get a trashcan to vomit in. It didn’t work for George Lucas a year before this why did you think it’d work here? Anyways Kurt realizes their not in xavier’s snuff dungeon, as far as he knows and it’s simply a trianing room and tries to disarm it, but it instead nearly blasts toad who nopes outta htere, scott too injured to follow. And while when watching the episode yesterday It hought it was a bit abrubt.. it really fits. Toad is a bit of a coward from memory, bosatful and cocky.. till reality reminds him he’s freaking toad as seen with the bullies earlier and mystique after that. So of course he’d run the minute things looked dicey and it looked like xavier reguarlly put his students through the hunger games to thint he herd. Xavier bemoans that Toad simply isn’t ready.. sure he’s a mutant and xavier likely senses mistque’s involement.. but he genuilly WANTED to help todd and give him a real home and support.. its just Toad/Todd dosen’t WANT it or to put in any real work to be better, and you have to WANT help to get it.  Kurt blames himself and ports out feeling he dosen’t deserve to be there and Scott goes after him while out front Toad runs into a returning Logan, whose ready to add another dead teen to the pile out back when Xavier insists he let him go... he’s not an actual threat, and as we find out later Xavier removed the schools location from his mind and probably gave it to toad in the first place, so while Logan says he’ll be back.. he has no way of coming back and there’s no sense roughing up a teenager, when that’d just draw more attention to them and give Toad an angle to work. That being said Charlie still gladly welcomes Logan back though both smell trouble on the horizon.. and also toad. He tends to leave a scent that one. 

We then get what I feel is the best scene in the episode: Cyclops finds Kurt in the room with the blackbird, which this show remembers is an actual type of plane and that the x-mens is simply a souped up version of , though I can’t tell you what version he’s saying it’s superior to because I don’t know planes THAT well. But Scott comforts Kurt, saying it’s OKAY to fuck up: the entire point of this place is so they can afford to make the mistakes they can’t make out there and learn and grow as people. Everyone screws up, as Scott himself did rushing in without a plan at the start, but the point is you learn from it and do better next time and Kurt decides to stay. Welcome to the X-Men Kurt, hope you surivive the experince. Also Scott decides to show him where they hide the sodas.. which either Chuck is a dick about their pop or that’s code for booze.. or possibly both. I could see Logan really liking root beer alongisde his nightly 6 pack. 

We close out with Mystque berating toad for running the hell away and for you know, getting mindwiped.. the latter is far from his fault, but the first part.. yeah Toad kinda sucks at this and Raven screams for him to get out, with her turning back into her natural form for the first time.. and then being confronted with HER boss with Magneto, from.. somewhere.. he appearas as a spooky projection but I don’t know if he’s using a device to amplfy himself or he just hides in the closet of her office all day for when he needs to consult her on their evil schemes. Probably the latter. Anyways Erik wisely consults her to be a bit easier..while toad is a bit of a dipweasel.. they can’t afford their ranks being thinned.. and really he’s not wrong. The x-men currently have them 6 to 3. Even if he’s the weakest of the three of them, they can’t afford to spare him. He then ominously says htis is only... THE BEGINING.

FINAL THOUGHTS:  Strategy X is a decent start for the series but not without it’s problems, with one or two questionsable moments like the whole angel and devil exhcange or the entire “Storm stalks toad as he goes to the mansion” scene as a way of testing him, which makes both her and charles come off bad and makes me wonder how the hell that was an actual test of anything. But it’s held up by good character: While Jeans kind of a bit of wallpaper here, the rest of the x-men and our three villians are all given great character moments that show them off to the audience well and really show the writers get the characters while taking their own spins on the younger ones: Nightcrawler, who could be a bit of a dork in the comics, see here his seduction tequnique. 

I mean damn if that shit isn’t still Sexy but still. They just ramped it up a bit since this version is younger and more naive, while Scott is likewise a bit more rambunctious and likely to question Xavier, while still being a good hearted guy who knows how to lead. It’s good stuff. While the quality isn’t PERFECT, it’s a good start and I look forward to watching more and EVENTUALLY reviewing more on here. If you liked this be sure to let me know and like I said above if there’s any other marvel show or any dc ones you want me to cover, and any specific episodes at that, lemme know. Comics too. And until we meet again, courage.  PS.. what the hell is up with the title of this episode? No really it has nothing to do with anything. Is it Mystuues’ inflitration plan? 

[hildorien]

Mariner’s Wife might look pretty out of place in the Lost Tales. It’s a story about some random failing marriage, you may say, but you are wrong. In my thesis, the story of the Mariner’s wife is basically a giant metaphor for the two paths that Numenor could take in terms of its foreign policy, as well as how morality and religion play into this choice. That’s why this quote is so freaking awesome. 

Basically, you have two sides in this conflict; expansionism or isolationism, represented by Aldarion and Erendis. Aldarion propels Numenor (his father is on the throne for most of the piece) to go back to Middle-earth and get involved (he loves the sea, he loves adventure, etc) while Erendis doesn’t love the sea, he hates it. She loves Numenor, their little valinor like Paradise, she doesn’t see the profit in expansion nor in looking east-ward. She wishes for isolation. At different times, the two viewpoints are supported by the people of Numenor. Erendis more so, as their beloved almost princess Diana-like celebrity, but Aldarion is loved by the people who gravitate towards that sense of adventure.   

It’s easy to assume that this is a case in which, through hindsight Erendis has the right idea, because we know what kind of empire Numenor will turn into, even in this we are seen that the mannish peoples of middle earth are already fucking done with numenor bumping into their buisness, but that’s ignoring the straight up fact that without Numenor’s involvement in Middle-earth, the elves’ are straight fucked. Just completely fucked. Sauron is beating down on them, Gil-galad is sending a letter to Aldarion’s father for help, they need aid. It’s not as simple as Erendis is right because hindsight, in the world the second age Numenor not taking action would be abandoning fav favorites Gil-galad and Elrond and many other elves’ to Sauron, and that would suck. Erendis’ stance would have them do that though, stay isolationist and let Middle-earth deal with their own issues and shortcomings. They are not Numenor’s problem. So that begs the question; what should they do? 

This comes to ahead here; “am in too great doubt to rule. To prepare or to let be? To prepare for war, which is yet only guessed: train craftsmen and tillers in the midst of peace for bloodspilling and battle: put iron in the hands of greedy captains who will love only conquest, and count the slain as their glory? Will they say to Eru: At least your enemies were amongst them? Or to fold hands, while friends die unjustly: let men live in blind peace, until the ravisher is at the gate? What then will they do: match naked hands against iron and die in vain, or flee leaving the cries of women behind them? Will they say to Eru: At least I spilled no blood?”

If you are the leader in this situation, it’s very clear that there isn’t an easy win here. The logic behind each action will come with consequences. Like the use of Eru here is palpable because it’s relating in a way to the concept that the only one who will truly know which was the better choice here is god herself who holds all the answers anyway. 

  [There is also a very interesting angle here religiously this is the best subtle use of Tolkien’s religious underpinnings in his work that’s there ever been. Like with the edain we have an idea that they have their own concepts of what happens after death but we don’t have a lot of concrete concepts to what those concepts are sorta a speak; we know that they have a messiah myth (i.e. jesus) but we don’t know much else, however, here we see a character just speak of religion freely and as if it was common. Here we see that at least the people of numenor and maybe the edain) believe that in the end they will see god herself and get to even talk to god/god will have some opinions (tm) about their actions. I think it’s just a cool subtle thing as someone who loves edain religion (along with edain in general) it’s nice to see some of the themes we see in other edainic works come back around in their descendants because frankly it’s pretty rare as the numenoreans and later on the other elf kin humans tend to try and be eldar lite than edain but sigh)] 

We know how it ends though; Numenor makes the choice to go with Expansionism/Aldarion and that carries them into their twilight years and eventual pompeii-ing by god. Erendis and her way of life is replaced and eventually dies a very slow, very long death. It’s easy to feel like they made the wrong choice; but I don’t think either choice was going to yield good long-term returns. Isolationism that is represented by Erendis doesn’t make her happy. Neither Aldarion or Erendis are happy, their lives both suck in the end which I think is a metaphor for the fact that neither choice was going to be for the best. Isolation in Tolkien is always seen with nostalgia for me, like “woah what a great time that was,”but looking at it in practice, no isolationist society in Tolkien will ever win. 

Dorirath and Gondolin stand out to me, that they have a “fuck you, got mine” until evil is at their door and all their allies are already gone and no one can help them so they are destroyed. It’s even referenced here as one of the options to what is probably going to happen if they remain isolationist by the upper quote. This kind of nuance is why I don’t feel comfortable with being #TeamAldarion or #TeamErendis in regards to their foreign policy (in terms of gender theory, Erendis all the fucking way, oh boy.); because I just don’t know if it is that simple to boil it down to one or the other. 

IN CONCLUSION; The mariners wife is about a very flawed marriage but even more than that it is about a very flawed political system full of just what seems like bad choices all with secondary effects. This quote will continue to resonate with me for how it perfectly illustrates that when it comes to politics not everything is so simply easy. In the end, the only person who truly knows what is going to happen is God, because she holds all the cards.

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - The Rolycoly Family

837: Rolycoly

OHHHH!!!! OH OH!!!!! THE COAL MONSTER!!! THAT I PUT ON MY WISHLIST! OH How I instantly fell in love with this little guy when it was first revealed. This design is so neato in its lovable simplicity. At first glance it's little more than a chunky hunk of coal with a single eye. Oh, but they eye GLOWS as if it has coal burning on the inside! That on top of its general body shape makes it look like a living miner's helmet! Hah, how clever and original for a little coal critter!

It even has a unique ability that has it interacting with Fire and Water, boosting the Pokemon's speed if its hit with moves of those type! Cool! And how I LOVE that grumpy little visage it has. It's just a single eye but it still lends so much fun personality to the thing. But Rolycoly comes with a little something extra:

It's on a WHEEL! It has an entire wheel-shaped shard of coal on its underside that allows it to roll around like a unicycle! That is PRECIOUS! And boy howdy has the excitement for what this thing could possibly turn into get me pumped. So many neat Fakemon ideas floating around. That and I absolutely KNEW I was gonna be using a Rolycoly once I started playing the game myself. I just HAVE to see what this coal dude turns into!

Personal Score: 10/10

838: Carkol

Oh, well... hrmmmm. We're not off to a fantastic start, I guess. My instant turn-off on the other side of that evolution screen was that Rolycoly instantly lost its cool cycloptic eye in favor of a much more regular looking face. Why does it just look like Golem's face??? Like I can't stress this enough. If a Pokemon has a unique feature, especially one that is a rarity like a single eye, or a droopy face, or having shaggy hair cover the majority of its face, or even a complete LACK of face, it absolutely should NOT lose these features unless it has a compelling enough reason to, like fulfilling a design theme. There are so little Pokemon that are cycloptic that it's SO ANNOYING that it instantly fails at step 1.

I also don't really like that's already SORTA lost the wheels. They're there, and they function as wheels, but they're behaving a lot more like legs most of the time. It doesn't even keep its glowing eyes. They light up during certain animations but that's it. Nor do I like that a pile of coal is precariously going over its back. It makes it stop looking like a coal monster and just that it's a monster that carries coal. The shape of its back should evoke the look of a mine cart filled with coal and not BE a mine cart full of coal, if you get what I'm saying?

Even if it was just the face that was redone, I would've taken it. But if I could do a little tidying up and redoing of Carkol, it wouldn't take a TON to do it. The basic shape is fine to me, just good lord please give it its face and wheels back.

Personal Score: 5.5/10

...But not all hope is lost just yet! There's loads of Pokemon with a good beginning, and low middle, and a good end. Awkward teenage stage am I right? Even if its face isn't just a single eye anymore, at least it's keeping the wheeled theme! In fact, you could really build off of that! Like making it a train! A TRAIN POKEMON, LIKE ON MY WISHLIST AGAIN! That'd be knocking out two birds with one piece of coal! Surely they couldn't possibly think of ditching that aspect of this line, especially since it's been present in two stages so far! Surely the least possible thing that could happen would be if this almost literal mine cart Pokemon had suddenly lost all its wheels and miraculously turned into a generic bipedal dinosaur that walks like literally any other Pokemon out of nowhere. That’d be like, the worst case scenario. But that wouldn’t happen, right?

...

...Right?

839: Coalossal

Not to come off as blunt right off the gate here but this did it. I didn't think it was gonna be possible. Gallade is no longer my least favorite Pokemon of all time. Because in the end, as much as you could say Gallade sullies the Gardevoir line's unique take on a knight just by association, you can at least IGNORE Gallade. Just evolve your male Kirlia into a Gardevoir anyway because Gardevoir is just better than Gallade in every way anywho. Gallade? Literally WHO??? But Coalossal is impossible to ignore if you were a fan of what Rolycoly was putting down. And even Gallade had a FEW merits to it. Coalossal has almost systematically taken every little bit of what has cool and unique about Rolycoly and thrown it out the window in favor of being an all-around copy-paste job.

Okay, for a moment, let's pretend Rolycoly and Carkol never existed. Coalossal was just a single-stage Pokemon on its own in a cave somewhere or whatever. What about Coalossal is individually unique to it and it alone? Sincerely close to absolutely nothing. No single individual aspect of this design is unique in any way. Want to know the major reason why? Because Coalossal already existed. We've already had Coalossal for about ten years now. But back then, we called it Rhyperior.

I'm personally not a gigantic fan of Rhyperior either, but look at this. This is absolutely comedic. They're the fucking same. They are the SAME creature. Coalossal is nothing but an off-color Rhyperior. Like come ON. At least Rhyperior has the benefit of having is rough body serve a visual motif where it's wearing construction gear, with sound-canceling headphones, complete with wrecking ball tail. A solid rock monster design, even if I personally prefer Rhydon. I can confidently look at Rhyperior and see that it’s gone through revisions, redraws, and polishes to make it unique even in its own evolutionary line.

Can I say the same for Coalossal? I honestly can't say I do. With Rhyperior fresh in mind, what's Coalossal's visual motif? It's made of coal, I guess? Its face SORT OF looks like a cowcatcher on a train. But here's a question, why doesn't it look MORE like a train if train was clearly a motif they wanted to go with? If it's a train monster, why is it bipedal in the first place?

The only bit of its design that's even a little eye-catching is the pile of coal clumsily piled onto its shoulders, but I already said why I don't like that. It makes it look like Coalossal itself isn't a coal monster, it just carries coal around. Besides, most well-done designs aught to still have at least some value to them even if you took away one aspect of said design. Rhyperior with a plain tail with no wrecking ball is still a funny construction site rhino man. Even Carkol with no coal on its back would've still been a weirdo mine cart monster. Coalossal without the pile of coal is just naked Rhyperior.

Things only get worse when you add Carkol and especially Rolycoly back into the equation. Rolycoly's unique features were that it was a coal monster with one eye, riding on a wheel and it's shaped like an object. Carkol at least continues most of this, mostly ridding of the single eye thing. Coalossal gets rid of all that's left. No more wheels, no more object shapes, no more fun, it's just a coal thing now. Literally the first thing that comes to your mind when you think “I want to make a coal monster.” A rough draft in monster design form, printed and published for the full release.

I have to wonder, how many questions of whether this looked good or not the decisions to make in a train monster but also a bipedal dinosaur-thing was a well enough thought-through idea? Is being a dinosaur with a cowcatcher on its head visually interesting? More visually interesting than its previous stages, where it had far more visual motifs going on? Was it a conscious decision to say yes or was there a time crunch where they had to settle on a “close enough” design to pad out the Pokedex?

And you know what's more than likely the thing that murdered this line? Time.

I feel bad for possibly implying it was going to be nothing but smooth sailing this Gen when I made my little Sword and Shield pre-review. Because the more I've dug into Gen 8 the more I've realized how many designs in here are heavily flawed. And I can only blame the very evident drop in quality on the clear lack of time Gamefreak has these days. Generations are getting shorter and shorter and it's starting to show. Had SwSh not happened for another couple years, I guarantee I wouldn't be making this rant right now. This kind of blunder is simply so uncharacteristic of Gamefreak's art department. Like say what you will about the games themselves but Pokemon's been running strong from Gens 5 to 7. It's hard to believe the same company that made creatures like Mimikyu, Buzzwole, Sigilyph, or Pumpkaboo churned out Coalossal here.

Here, I'll embarrass myself and share a bit of concept art of a personal project of mine. These designs aren't too terribly spectacular, are they? That's because they're just the rough drafts. The very first instance of me drawing a creature in order to have their design idea on paper, because I can flesh them out later. They’re very wonky looking, weirdly generic at best because later on, “Ash Wolf” there would later become...

“Billowolf”. And heck, it’s plenty possible that it’ll go through one more redesign or so before I’m fully satisfied with it. Coalossal feels like the former. A sketchbook doodle of a “coal dinosaur” base idea that was meant to be more fleshed out later but wasn’t given the opportunity.

And I'm noticing more and more that this is gonna be a repeat complaint going into Gen 8. Lots of ideas with decent or even excellent potential not being lived up to because the designs haven't been through enough revisions. We're well aware of an internal approval process that happens within Gamefreak for these Pokemon to get accepted, and I can only wonder if they just settled with “good enough” designs simply because they were running out of time. Like for PETE'S sake this annual release schedule needs to stop. I hope this new trend of DLC will alleviate the Pokemon Rush. Hell, I'd encourage it so long as they're fairly priced and maybe even bring in a handful of new Pokemon designs each. It's not quite a year off the constant Poketrain but DLC is a lot easier to make than an entirely new game or even a “deluxe edition”. I don't care if we go back to a release schedule of one generation per major Nintendo system. Just let these guys have the time and leeway to do their dang jobs without the stress of ridiculously tight deadlines. There's still so much talent within Gamefreak and it's maybe easy to forget that they're the ones that made the more beloved entries in the series back before they forced a game out almost every year.

And to be clear I DO NOT mean to say all this to shame whoever designed Coalossal, even if they themselves are proud of it. Nor am I shaming anyone that does like Coalossal (just given I’ve gotten comments before acting like I’m being the opinion police with this review series.) Alarmingly enough, my taste isn’t law! And that’s fine. I’m just wondering if the higher-ups on the art team have given Coalossal a pass under less time-constrained circumstances? Or would they have sent it back in to go a few more rounds in a feedback loop? The basic point of this rant is just

Obviously, I'd want this line to follow through on the train motif and have Coalossal actually be a goddang train. And of course keep the single eye.

I do hear one of the defenses of Coalossal being dinosaur-shaped being that “it's a fossil fuel coming back to life.” If that was the intention, that should've been the theme from the very start instead of the rolling wheel idea. (Even under this light, I still wouldn't call Coalossal a very good design. It's far too generic to be doing even that cool idea justice. If that WAS the idea, I’d say it’d be way cooler to do a monster that’s moreso crudely trying to imitate the look of a dinosaur.)

...Awkward thing is, Coalossal wound up sticking in my team for the whole game. Mostly because I wasn't sure if any more new Fire types would be coming afterward (there weren't) so. My Sword team has my least favorite Pokemon on it. I still love ya though, Obsidius. It's not your fault your design wasn't finished. ):

Personal Score: 1/10

I'm sorry if it feels like I'm just dunking on Pokemon after Pokemon here. I PROMISE there's some Pokemon I'm excited to talk about coming up later. In fact, oooh, Applin's next! Applin will be a good palette cleanser, yes.

G-Max Coalossal:

Oh yeah, Coalossal has a G-Max form too. It's better, I'll give it that, and it SORTA brought the wheel thing back but only in having tire-shaped thighs. Pbbbth. The scale is imposing and at least its eyes look a little bit cooler again. I can't bring myself to like it much better just by association with Coalossal. It's fine, I guess. I'm not even gonna rate it. I just don’t like it. It’s fine. Eh.

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