#it was only when i started using different colored slightly transparent layers that i was able to get them right

[therizinotfuckingthere]

WOOO

[dragonbma]

I’ve had a few questions regarding how I made custom shaker charms so here’s a basic guide. For starters, I used Vograce for my production. (There are a myriad of other custom product websites, but I only have experience with this one so that’ll be what I detail here.)

What I learned from my first shaker charm purchase:

Before you start drawing, make sure your canvas color profile is in CMYK. (If you don’t know how, I recommend Googling color profile settings for whichever drawing app you use.) In Procreate, once you create a canvas, you cannot alter its color profile. Guess who had to create an entirely new canvas and move over every. layer. for. every. trio. frame. layer. And then recolor everything. CMYK does not have as vibrant a range of colors as the typical color profile. Your designs may look slightly off-color.

Speaking of canvases, the recommended resolution for Vograce charms is at LEAST 1000x1000 pixels. I did 1360x1360 for all mine. Leave a decent portion of rim around the images as every piece of the shaker charm will have a 2mm border. Your design may be cut off if you do not leave sufficient room for the border. (For my 1300x1300 canvas, I added +30 pixels to each side before saving anything as PNGs just in case.)

Artworks Needed:

Layers/Frames: When designing shakers, you will design a front, middle, and back frame to your charm. The front layer will include a transparent section (where you see your charm inside.) The middle layer will ALWAYS have a hollow area, but does not have to be the same as layer 1. (Can have a larger/smaller hollow area depending on what you want to make.) The background can either be solid and provide an image behind where the charms shake around or have a transparent area. For Vos’ charm, the background is solid and details the cage backdrop; Romeo’s frames on the other hand, are all see-though (reflecting an actual blender.) Something to note, thick edges around hollow areas are preferred. Vograce has a short video detailing these frames. To make things as clear as possible, it’s important you add “Layer 1/2/3” to the name of the frame. (See image below)

Charm Pieces: You can have up to six charms that shake around in your keychain. These can all be different designs or the same charm duplicated multiple times. On average, the more pieces you add, the smaller they have to be to all fit and still have room to shake around.

Save each frame and charm as a separate PNG. Here’s a little peek at what made up Vos’ charm: (apologies for the messiness; it’s late here rn-)

I cannot stress enough how important a mock-up design is. These are essentially previews that show your manufacturer exactly what you want the finished product to look like. This includes a view of all the layers together, what sizes you want each charm to be, and I would recommend it be animated if possible:

Once you have your layers and charm pieces saved, it’s time to buy your shaker! In order to submit multiple images at once, you’ll want a Zip File. The way I turn my files into Zips is by saving all PNGs into a Google Drive folder (above) and then downloading the folder to my computer. (This will automatically turn it to a Zip file.) Then when you click to submit images, click the downloaded Zip File and it will link all the needed PNGs!

The minimum number of a single keychain/shaker charm order you can buy at once is 3. (You cannot just buy 1 or 2 of a design using Vograce.) If you buy more than 5 of a product at a time, Vograce will send you a proofing email you need to confirm before they start making your charms. This email is basically their way of saying “Hey, here’s what we have for your design pieces. Does everything look alright?” If yes, you can confirm the proofing and they will begin manufacturing your order. If something is wrong/ needs something tweaked, simply reply to the email with your concerns/suggestions. Some important things to keep in mind when looking at the proofing for shaker charms is the dimensions and borderlines of everything, how big the charms look in comparison to the inside of the hollow area, etc. The first time I bought stickers I forgot to check for the proofing email. DON’T FORGET TO CHECK FOR THE EMAIL. It usually comes within 2-5 days after the order.

The proofing for Vos’ keychain looked like this. It’s color-coded with the layers above for reference. ^

Things I wish I knew beforehand:

You can add an “X” on the mock-up to mark where you want the hole for the chain. Otherwise, it is assumed the chain will attach to the middle of the top.

Be sure to give your charms lots of room to shake around. I probably should have made the Sammy charms a larger area-

When choosing a charm’s size, the length will be the longest side. For the cage charm below, this was its height (3in tall.) For the map, this was its width (2.5in wide.) For whatever reason, I thought size always referred to height. It does not-

4. Somehow the map flipped, but idk how to explain that so I won’t. I am currently asking Vograce about it though- (it doesn’t really affect my design so I don’t mind)

There’s probably a LOT I forgot, but this is essentially everything I needed when I was designing my charms. Feel free to ask a Q if something sounds confusing- I hope this helped ^^

@woofmochi @planetsofmarz *places this in your hands*

[braisedhoney]

please tell me about the pigments i would love nothing more than to hear you talk about that one shade of red you like and the process it took too recreate it

... oh, op. you have no idea what you've unleashed.

alright. here we go.

OKAY SO THE RED PIGMENT. pr206. my beloved. my dearest friend. it was an absolute bastard to find because there are so many of these. however many you think there are, there are MORE, and that's only if you don't count the many many scenarios where colors are known to be multi-pigment mixes, usually varying in tone/shade/intensity depending on the brand and manufacturing style. some colors are more consistent than others, but there are situations where a color can be named the same and contain the same pigments and STILL look wildly different depending on the ratio, binder, and paper you use. and that's not accounting for the way the pigment is processed. some pigments (like pv19 for example) can come in so many shades it's frankly kind of ridiculous.

anyway, my quest begins when i am, admittedly, in an edgier phase. i want a blood red, but not specifically because of that—no, i want it because it is THE IDEAL COLOR (to me) for a perfect, warm, slightly muted but still intense shade to add to a muted autumn watercolor palette. and... if you look at my whole theme, you probably know how much i love warm colors. i want to paint mushrooms. i want to dim down some of the brighter greens to make them autumnal. i want the perfect red to put as an undertone.

the search starts in earnest.

the immediate issue is this: reds (and purples and pinks) have horrifically bad lightfastness. not all of them, mind, but many are NOTORIOUS for fading under uv light, which means they will also fade if exposed to sunlight even in passing should it happen often enough. and—in especially bad cases where they're essentially working with dye and not pigment—they can even fade inside your notebook. inside of a drawer.

so not only are we working with an unfortunate pigment base (i'm simplifying here, there's way more nuance to this but shh) but we are working with one that skews heavily toward floral pinks or oranges. the red i'm searching for is warm, but not orange. dries dark but not brown. is transparent, not opaque. that last part is agonizing, because i also desperately do not want a color that will fade on me or generally destabilize, and most of the stable dark red pigments are EARTH pigments like red ochre (pr101) or the like. which, while fascinating because of their historical usage in things like pottery and even cave paintings that last to the modern day, are VERY OPAQUE. this is an issue with my preferred style of watercolor painting specifically, because opaque pigments tend to lift easier off the page and limit layering.

the search continues. pigment after pigment breaks my heart for one reason or another, drying too close to the cooler purpleish-red tint of wine at best. i think i find it in perylene maroon, but the drying shift (the difference between how a color looks wet vs after it dries on the paper) is so extreme that it loses the luminosity AND it's more opaque than most. i languish.

for a while my search turns to creation. i try and mix as many of my single pigment colors as i can into something that vaguely resembles what i'm looking for—so i take quinacridones and mix them with napthols, with nickel azos, with dashes of ultramarines and burnt sienna. everything turns out either just a bit too opaque, just a bit too muddy (that happens with multi-pigment mixtures, and is why so many people swear by single pigment colors. it's personal preference, really, great art can be made either way.)

still, nothing works. failure haunts me. i sit before a pile of used up watercolor paper that is literally covered edge to edge in nothing but similar red squares with various gradients and blooms as evidence of when i tried and failed to convince myself my efforts were close enough. i admit defeat.

in the meantime i shift my focus. i try and appreciate different color palettes and profiles, experimenting with things like fully transparent palettes (personal favroite) to fully opaque ones that function more like gouache. but despite finding appreciation for it, i still think about the damn red that i could never recreate. it kills me.

and then one day, a youtube video. a pigment is being discontinued, and the watercolor community is distressed. this happens a lot, because pigments are actually not always popular because of artists—sometimes beloved colors are put out of production because larger markets like car companies no longer find them popular enough to invest in. this time, the casualty is pr206, aka brown madder, aka quinacridone burnt scarlet.

let me tell you a little about quinacridones. they are genuinely remarkable colors. they have their own cult followings because of how bright and abnormally stable they are under uv light. they're transparent. they're luminous. they come in mostly shades of red and pink and purple, though there are a couple oranges and yellows in there. (there are no quinacridone blues, as far as i'm aware, but the phthalo blues have that category covered.) they also rewet beautifully, so you can put them on your palette and let them dry and not worry about it turning into a useless little rock of color that you can't get any pigment from anymore.

quinacridone magenta (pr122) is probably the most popular of these, the most often used besides maybe quinacridone violet (pv19). a few years prior we suffered the loss of quinacridone gold (po49) and since then people have been On Alert when it comes to losing these colors. i am one of them, because i never got the chance to even see po49 in person, and now the tubes are so stupid expensive that even the student grade versions go for Ridiculously High Prices on ebay, and the professional brands are being hoarded like (ironically) gold by anyone lucky enough to have a tube left over.

but back to our main character. not me, the pigment. pr206. i have legitimately never heard of this one, which to be fair is probably because i try to limit the random colors i fixate on since the hobby can easily get VERY expensive if you aren't careful. but it's a quinacridone, and that catches my eye.

i open the video.

now, i'm sure any artist out there will be familiar with the fact that screens don't display color consistently. it depends on your device, but most can agree that something that looks cooler on one may be warmer on the other, it's just what happens. but i see this color being swatched, and my brain implodes.

it's almost a perfect match.

it could work. it could. years of thinking that same thought have left me bereft and mistrustful of this specific quest marker, but the thought refuses to leave me. probably because the 'discontinued' label flashes like a neon sign.

i resist for about six months, and then i cave. at this point i have genuinely been trying and failing to find this color for upwards of five years. i am desperate, and the color might not be available anymore soon anyway, and apparently i am weak to sales pitches. (note: the color IS now unavailable in some brands, but others bought a decent supply and should have it available for at least a little while, alongside po48 which is quinacridone burnt orange, a favorite of mine and probably one of the only oranges i use regularly. both are discontinued officially, but they'll still be on sale till those supplies run dry.)

the color arrives. i grab my favorite brush. i pull out my stash of paper that i save for special occasions.

it's almost perfect.

i mix it with quinacridone burnt orange.

the result is, i swear, a perfect match for what i have been searching for.

it's warm. it dries dark but not dark enough to look brown. it keeps its luminosity (thank you quinacridones). it's fully transparent (thank you quinacridones). i genuinely feel the urge to weep, but i don't because i am clinging at last to the dredges of my sanity and also salt makes watercolor pigments behave differently and i will not risk this glorious moment. finally, after all these years, bill cipher has a gun i found the goddamn COLOR.

i mix it with warm yellows and with my favorite blues. with the pinks, just to laugh. life is beautiful and i am painting its sunsets, and i do not care if they look ridiculously messy. i have won.

the moral of the story is to never give up. or maybe it's to remember you never actually know everything about even the fields you love the most, because this color totally blindsided me despite being much more common than i expected. or maybe it's that i seriously needed to chill out for a while.

but yes. that is the tale of one (1) of the colors that has taken up residence in my soul. i hope you don't regret asking now lmao.

[k00288209]

Glazing

Tue/7th/Feb - Ceramics Week 2

The second week of ceramics (a.k.a the glazing week).

I had only two pieces done and fired and ready to be glazed.

First I started with the clay study of mark making. I was looking to do a slightly more complex coloring for this piece as I wished to further enhance the layers and the texture. For this I was shown how to under glaze.

Under glazing is when the ceramic piece is painted and decorated with colored paints before it is glazed.

Working with shades of blue. I chose blue for that one pop of colour in my ceramics work as I connect the color blue with comfort and calmness. By using different shades I can play with the depth of the piece and more drastically bring out the different layers.

Black Glaze :

Demonstration of dipping ceramics in clay and the details and results of the black glaze.

However, for the under-glazed piece I chose to use transparent glaze to keep the under-glaze visible.

Glaze Results :

With the transparent glaze the piece is brought to life. The colours are beautiful and especially the darker blue pops out much more. Even the textures of the fabric are more visible after the glaze.

[cricketdrawings]

Traditional art supplies I like: ✨Cheap Edition✨

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤

I noticed my last post had a lot of more expensive materials, which are great if you save up or are able to get them more easily, but I figured I’d make another post about more affordable materials for my friends out there who don’t have access to an employee discount at a craft store like I do, or family members who like to give gift cards and such!

Pens:

1. I mentioned this in my last post, but ballpoint pens will never fail you. I recommend BIC if at all possible. You can get a pack of 60 in red, blue, and black for around 6 bucks, as well as just a 60 pack of one of those colors for the same price. You can get some really nice shading out of these, surprisingly, and a pack that big will last you years!

2. Paper mate flair felt tip pens. I used to love these growing up!! They still hold up pretty well, and have the same basic effect as, say, a tombow brush pen, which is my favorite. A pack of 3 in black is around $3-4, which is half the price for a pack of tombows! You can also get them in a lot of different colors. A 12 pack in rainbow is about 12 bucks. If a dollar per pen seems a little much, trust me- if you’re able at all to save up for these guys, they’ll last forever and won’t let you down!

3. I also mentioned pentel sign pens in my last post, and they are just slightly more expensive than the paper mate flair. You can get a box of 12 for $14, which is still more on the expensive side, but if you’re able to then these guys are really fun to use and really reliable!

Pencils:

1. In the school supply section of walmart, you can get a pack of generic HB pencils. They usually have either stars, pastel or neon colors, or are holographic on the barrel. Especially in the back to school season, go and get you a pack of these; any sharpener will do. They are surprisingly soft and lay down pretty dark! I get a pack every year and they never fail me. A pack of 20 is only a couple dollars. (Dixon and ticonderoga I do NOT recommend. Ticonderoga has great colored pencils, but their regular pencils are WACK. They’re way too hard so their lines are way too weak for my taste. As for dixon, they don’t erase cleanly, and splinter when they sharpen. No bueno.)

2. BIC mechanical pencils. These are probably the best mechanical pencils on the cheaper side. They write nice and dark, and you can get a pack of 40 for about 8 bucks, which will last you literally years!! Just like their ballpoint pens! If you really want a good cheap sketching set, I’d get a pack of their ballpoint pens and pencils. Basic as basic gets, but it’ll get you far.

3. For colored pencils: I swear, you can never go wrong with crayola. They’re not the softest or most pigmented, but when you’re balling on a budget they’re perfectly fine! I also love crayola crayons. They are my #1 most favorite affordable art material!

Markers:

1. Back to crayola: crayola super tips markers. These are PERFECT for sketching. You can layer the colors pretty nicely with these, and they start out nice and transparent, almost like watercolor. With the shape of the nib, which is almost cone shaped, you can get some pretty nice line variation! I recommend a pack of 50, which is around 7 bucks, and if you’re feeling really fancy, a pack of 100 is about 14 bucks.

2. Artist’s loft fundamentals triangle markers. When I was in high school, I had a pack of these that I wore absolutely ragged. They are pretty much always worth it, and also perfect for sketching. I even still have a set today, along with the super tips! They’re just that good! These babies are skinner than the super tips, so they’re more like the width of a pen, but not exactly like the penmate flair, which you can press down like a brush. With these you can also take a brush with water and use them like watercolor pencils and get some beautiful results! A pack of 36 is about $5 at michael’s. Probably one of the best purchases you could ever make at that price and I cannot recommend them enough, no matter how experienced you are.

3. For alcohol markers: Ohuhu is fantastic. They’re a bit on the pricier side, but that’s mostly because alcohol markers usually are compared to water based markers. A pack of 60 is usually around $20 on amazon, which is how much I got mine for, but I just checked and they’re about $25. Don’t panic though- prices change all the time! The colors on these are absolutely lovely, and it comes with a nice carrying case with a handle, and a plastic sheet you can place underneath the paper you’re working on so it doesn’t bleed through to your desk or the next page of your sketchbook. Absolutely worth the price tag. Ohuhu also has water based markers for slightly cheaper, but I can’t speak for those since I haven’t tried ‘em.

4. Sharpie is a household name, and there’s a reason why! I don’t always prefer them since at times they CAN be overpriced, but depending on which set you get, the price tag becomes more reasonable. For regular black, I recommend getting a pack of 6 with 2 chisel tips, two fine (regular) tips, and two ultra fine tips for around $7. They last forever, and that way you’re getting a pretty wide range of lines you can get! As for their colored markers, I honestly can’t recommend them as much since I find their colors to be a little darker than I’d personally prefer as compared to the ohuhu markers, but if you so choose you can get a pack of 12 for about $9 on amazon! My favorite color has to be the fuchsia. No matter what they’re fun to color with and easy to obtain just about anywhere!

Sketchbooks:

What’s this? A sketchbooks section? (You didn’t have that in your previous post, Cricket! Well, no, I did not, but I’ll have to fix that soon!)

1. Artist’s loft hardbound sketchbooks. You can get these at michael’s for about $6, and they pretty frequently go on sale for bogo or bogo 50%. The paper is actually super nice, a little on the smoother side, and just thick enough where you’ll feel pretty fancy using it, and also not guilty if you need to tear out a page. They’ve got classic black, and also currently they have a lovely pink, blue, and green. The inner cover page is the same color as the cover, and it gives for a more professional, almost published feel. They come in 6x9 and 9x12 sizes. Artist’s loft is generally a pretty reliable, affordable brand!

2. Pacon sketch diary. If you prefer spiral bound, these guys are also pretty nice! They’re about $5, and there are other similar generic brand sketch diaries you can get that will never lead you astray. Walmart has some pretty good ones too for around the same price, and some even have a clear plastic pocket on the front where you can insert whatever you like!

3. Spiral bound notebooks are easily accessible, and during back to school season in certain places you can get them for a dollar or less. There’s no shame in needing to use lined paper! It works just as good as other paper when it comes to needing to draw something, and no matter what your art is your art, no matter what materials you use! I love getting lisa frank notebooks or notebooks with puppies or kittens on them during the back to school season. (Walmart back to school season SLAPS for cheap art supplies if you can’t tell already.)

4. Daler-rowney simply soft cover sketchbook, 3.5x5.5 in. I list this one because it’s the nicest cheapest sketchbook you can get at Walmart for about 2 bucks. It’s a much smaller size and very flat so you can keep it in your pocket or bag and take it with you. The hardbound 5x7 is also super nice, and it used to be my ultimate top choice. It’s about $4-5. I would get one like once every 3 months, and if you’re able to afford it, they’re great for stocking up and great to take with you anywhere. The paper is a pretty unusual texture that I haven’t seen anywhere else, and in my experience there’s very little transference from one page to another if you’re using pencil, which is always pretty annoying and great to avoid when you can.

5. Royal and langnickel essentials hardbound sketchbook. I came across this one when I was shopping at Ross. Yeah, Ross!! A good tip for cheap art supplies is to check Ross! I’ve gotten some pretty great things from the art section there for very cheap. Since it’s a discount store though, it’s usually a crap shoot regarding what you might find. These sketchbooks have pretty similar paper to the daler and rowney, and you can get a 4x6 for about $3 at Walmart. A larger one, depending on where you look, has pretty inconsistent pricing, but when I was at Ross I found some 9x12’s for 2.99. Although I can’t promise you’ll have the same luck as I did!

Paints:

Watercolor:

1. Jerry Q watercolor palette. I had one of these right before I first tried gansai watercolors, which are my favorite and a little more expensive, but the set I had I kept for around 2 years with almost constant use. They can be a little light and not super pigmented, but if you’re able to get something like a spray bottle and wet them before hand, let the water soak in a little bit, they’re much easier to activate and you’ll get brighter colors out of them. They just need time to soften. You can get a 24 color set for $14, and a 36 set for $18. If you’re able to, I recommend the 36 set since that’s what I had, but 24 works just fine and it’ll be better for learning color mixing!

2. Rule of thumb is crayola is usually the way to go if you can’t afford much else. I will say the older formula for their watercolor paints was much better. Brand new is still good though, and you can’t go wrong with a regular 12 set. (I do NOT recommend prang, which is their similar competitor. Their paints are sticky as hell if you use too much.)

Acrylic:

Craftsmart or apple barrel craft paints. These guys were my first acrylics I ever used, and I still have some older pieces that I made with them that still hold up in my eyes today. They have a much different formula than most acrylics, and are powder based, so you’ll notice they sort of have a different texture. Careful not to glob it on too thickly, however! If you do the paint will form huge cracks in it when it dries. I’m pretty sure it’s because of the formula and that it shrinks when it dries, which can also make thinner paper buckle. Also, if you’re painting on paper, if the paper is on the smoother side, areas where the paint is thicker might crack and flake off. It’s still good reliable paint just as long as you’re able to avoid this! You can get a set of 16 colors for $11, or if you’re able to, a set of 36 for $25 at michael’s. You can also buy them individually if you’re only able to afford the primaries like red yellow and blue, or cyan magenta yellow and black (CMYK.) The individuals sell for about $1 each, and the craftsmart paints in particular come in a few different finishes like matte, satin, and metallic. I recommend just the matte to start with though.

Paper/canvas:

1. Canson XL watercolor paper. You can get a pad of 30 sheets in 9x12 at walmart for about $5. The 11x15, if you’re able to afford it, fluctuates from $10-18 depending on where you shop, but michael’s often has a sale on this particular brand of paper pads for bogo or bogo 50% off. They also now have spiral bound books of the same paper that you could tear the pages out of and display, or use as a watercolor sketchbook. Canson also has mixed media paper for about the same price, and the spiral bound book is a very popular choice for a sketchbook, although I’ve used it and I personally prefer the watercolor paper texture much more. If you like your paper on the smoother side though, the mixed media is probably the way to go!

2. Creatology is, I think, a michael’s brand of kids’ art supplies, and they honestly make some pretty nice paper. If you like to draw on thicker paper, they’ve got a paint pad that you could use as just mixed media or regular drawing paper. It’s nice and thick and smooth. Their watercolor paper is also pretty nice! The 9x12 pad is around $3, and has 40 sheets. It’s slightly thinner than the canson watercolor paper, but you get 10 sheets more and it’s cheaper! Also, most regular price items at michael’s (there are a few exclusions, such as their artist’s loft value canvas packs, and their sets of rolling shelves, and cricut products) can be discounted with a coupon! Pretty much every single day the site has a 20% off regular price items coupon, for in store and online (the online code is usually 20MADEBYYOU), so you can always get basically anything for a discount! If you have a rewards account, which you can access through the site or on the app, you’ll get points with the more you buy, and you’ll eventually get $5-10 vouchers! If you’re still trying to be frugal, it’s great for getting basically free items. But I digress.

3. Canvas is expensive as hell, I know. I barely buy it myself, and only started getting it recently, since I mostly worked on paper beforehand. But if you’d like to hang your work easily and are able to put pins/nails in your wall or use command strips, you could get a value pack of canvas from michael’s. I mentioned these before, and they’re one of the items that can’t be discounted with coupons, but they work great and you can get a pack of several at a time. Each pack is the same exact price- $12.99- so it’s easy to remember since it’s consistent. The smaller the size of the canvas, the more canvases you’ll get. For example, in a pack of 8x10, you get 10! If you want the best value and want to create more pieces for less, that’ll be what I recommend! You can also get canvas panels, which lay flat and are easier to store if you’re low on space. The best value there is a pack of 5, size 9x10, for $10. So, it’s not as much material for the price, but if you need the canvas to be smaller, that’ll work just fine!

4. Copy paper!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get a pack of copy paper!!!!!!!!!! It’s literally hundreds of sheets for very cheap, like $5 or less!! Walmart has a pack of 500 for $5. That’s 100 sheets for a dollar. While it won’t work well with paints, it’s great for drawing with basically any drawing material. It’s thin and more fragile than most art paper, but if you need to discard it you won’t feel bad, and there’s literally another sheet right there if you gotta start again. I had a period where I would only basically draw on copy paper when I lost access to free art materials from art school, and it’s fantastic for sketching. Just get a cheap paper folder for about 50 cents to keep your drawings safe, and you’re golden. It’s also great if you don’t wanna use lined paper but can’t afford a sketchbook.

As for digital art; digital is often the most affordable option for a lot of folks, since it requires only, at the minimum, a computer or phone and a drawing program. I’m not as experienced with digital art, but I highly recommend the XP pen tablet. It’s a 4x7 inch little usb tablet, and you can get one on amazon for $20. One purchase that will last you a long time! I’ve had mine for 2 years now, and I haven’t even had to replace the nib yet! For a drawing program, I recommend Krita, which is the only art program I’ve ever used other than microsoft paint 3D. It’s completely free, and has some really lovely brushes. My absolute favorite is the 4B pencil tool, which I use for basically every single digital drawing I make, no joke.

I’d like to also mention that if you’re not able to buy art supplies at all, recycling is a great way to gain materials! Go dumpster diving! Cut open a cereal box and draw on the inside! Draw on old envelopes! Paint on cut open cardboard boxes! Borrow a pencil or pen from a friend! There is sooooo much waste in this country (USA), and even if you’re not on a budget, if you’re able to reduce and reuse, you’ll feel better about reducing your carbon footprint and giving back to the planet.

Lastly, I just wanna say that you don’t need fancy materials to make wonderful art. Nice art materials are good to have, but they’re absolutely not a requirement. You don’t need to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars to go to art school, most often just to get torn down by instructors who don’t care about you or your well being. YOU know what’s best for yourself. Do what feels right. Make art however and whenever you like. Make it for yourself. Learn from yourself and which materials you prefer. I’ve been making art for a long time so I’ve tried a lot of things and a lot of materials, hence why I can make these recommendations, but you might discover something completely different that you really love! Materials do not make the artist, full stop. The art you make will always be valuable and important, no matter what. If you’re still in school, live at home, don’t have a job, or are just not able to buy art supplies for whatever reason, there’s always, always a way to make art. You might have to get a little creative in finding out ways to make art, but I promise you there’s always a way. If later in life you’re able to afford having art as a hobby or a career, you’ll look back on the time you could only access these cheaper materials, and cherish the work you made then. Especially if you’re just starting out, and by the time you’re able to afford higher quality materials, you’re a more experienced artist. I personally think it’s so important to remember where you’ve come from, so you can feel proud of yourself as you grow. There’s nothing more fulfilling than looking back on everything you’ve done and the improvements you’ve made throughout your journey. And like I said, you don’t need to spend thousands on art school to learn. The internet is an amazing resource for tutorials, and there’s no shame at all in using any resource you can to learn and expand your skillset. You deserve to create. You deserve to learn. You deserve to feel proud of yourself and what you make.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤Art is for everyone.🖤🤎💜💙💚💛🧡❤️

[xenospacebabe]

Broken Wings pt2.

A/N: Ya’ll thanks so much for the positive reaction to my first drabble! A few of you asked me to continue it so I think I’ll make this a little bit of an ongoing thing. Enjoy! Also, I’m doing this all from my phone, so I can’t do page breaks. Apologies to anyone just scrolling by!

Summary: After breaking one of his wings, Hawks breaks into an animal clinic for some help. Little does he know that the doctor there would occupy his mind this much.

For some reason, this had been the longest week in your career. Your techs noticed that you were a little bit distracted in the moments of downtime between patients. But they knew better than to pry into your personal business, history proved that you had a very solid separation between work and real life. You never mixed business with pleasure and it made you a better doctor, in your opinion. It helped you focus more intently on your patients and their care.

That being said, even the most complicated cases couldn’t stop your mind from wandering back to the winged hero who essentially broke into your clinic for a broken wing. You wondered if he was taking your advice by resting his wings and his body. However given that he was the number 2 hero, you knew that probably wasn’t very likely.

After the last surgery of the day was finished, and the last client was out the door, you and your technicians cleaned up the clinic so they could all go home. First to arrive last to leave, today was no different. But today you showed up early just in case Hawks-...Keigo.. decided to drop by before you opened for a check-up. And when he didn’t, you were frustrated with disappointment you felt. You remained hopeful that he would appear tonight.

By the second hour after closing and no sign of the pro hero, you felt your heart hanging in your stomach. So with a heavy sigh, you started checking hospitalized patients to make sure they had what they needed and turning off lights. Though just as you had given up and opened the side door to leave, you were greeted with a full vision of giant wings.

He was there.

“Keigo!” You yelped out in excitement, the smile on your face illuminated the space between you.

“Hey Doc.” His voice drawled, smirking. He liked how happy you looked to see him. It made his heart flutter in a funny way. “Miss me?”

“Maybe. Come inside, we’ll get you checked out.” You retreated back into the clinic and he brushed past you. The discouragement you felt earlier faded away with every passing second and was replaced with pure joy.

Keigo followed you into exam and leaned onto the counter, sharp eyes trained on you with a bright intensity. You weren’t able to put your finger on how it made you feel when his gaze was headstrong on you. Nervous? Excited?

“So, how are you feeling? Any pain or numbness?” Right to business. He admired that about you. Instead of fawning over him and tripping over your words, you were calm and composed. At least, that’s what you wanted him to think. Inside, you were in chaos.

“Ehh...not really. It’s sore but that’s about it.” The wing in mention shifted slightly. You noticed that the splint you had placed was in really good condition. Save for a few rubbed spots where you assumed he was trying to scratch. That meant he was resting, taking your advice in stride.

“You know, there’s no secret cameras or microphones here. You don’t have to pretend.” He froze in place, his expression stilled with shock. Keigo hadn’t realized he was being that transparent. But honestly, it was easy to see. The bags under his eyes indicated he wasn’t sleeping well. Or at all. You waited for a response. This wasn’t uncommon. Pet parents lied all the time to make it seem like they weren’t making any mistakes when their animal was sick. But honesty helped you help them. And eventually, they would always relent.

“Damn, it’s that obvious huh?”

“Oh yeah. So, spill it.” Your hands slowly reached for the wing to get a feel of the splint. It needed a few adjustments which could be easily done.

“It uh...aches. And it’s really dull and ongoing. But it goes away. I can handle it.” Nodding along to his explanation you fished into a drawer beside him for scissors, another roll of tape, and a few pads of gauze.

“I can write you a script to fill at a pharmacy for some relief. And don’t think of telling me no. Is the pain ever sharp?” He nodded quietly.

“Is that bad?” You gingerly removed the tape and padding from the existing splint, making sure to not pull on his feathers or apply unnecessary pressure to the break.

“No, so long as it doesn’t keep up and you don’t have any fevers or anything like that. If you don’t care, I want to get another xray to see where we’re at as far as healing goes.”

The hero grinned, looking so smug and you didn’t know why. He leaned in close, his nose only a few inches away from yours. From this short distance you could really see how rich the golden color of his eyes were, just like an actual hawk. However, the stare she was getting wasn’t from just any bird. It was from this handsome, charming pro hero who make your insides squirm.

“If you wanted me to take off my shirt all you had to do was ask.” The redness came to your face in a rush and you suddenly felt hot. The sound of his chuckling only made your heart race and palms sweat.

“I-I-...it’s just easier-...we don’t have to-...”

“Relax, I’m kidding~” You sighed as he removed his jacket followed by the top of his hero uniform. His skin was significantly less bruised, you noticed. The cuts and abrasions were healing very well. However, in taking in the state of his wounds, you didn’t realize that you were staring.

Keigo’s physique was so clean and cut that you couldn’t help but wonder how his skin felt beneath your palms. What the heat of his body felt like. Eventually, you became aware of your unwavering stare and cleared your throat to break the awkward silence.

Several moments and a few xrays later...

“Okay, so everything is starting to bond the way it should. See the humerus here?” Your finger pointed to the bone with a jagged fusion starting. He nodded to indicate he understood. “It’s still pretty unstable so will need to remain splinted. But that’s normal for a break like this.”

Shouldering his jacket and slipping his arms into the sleeves, he popped the collar back up into place before sighing.

“Right, still grounded.” The tone of his voice seemed sad but you were understanding of why. For someone with as little freedom as Keigo, denying the one thing that made him feel liberated felt like a punishment.

“I’m sorry, Keigo. But you’re doing great so far. I’m really happy with the progress I’m seeing.”

The process of resplinting his wing was painful, but not as bad as it was the week before. You made sure to layer the gauze carefully so the bones would be cushioned and safe. Keigo admired how gentle your hands were, how soft your palms felt against his sensitive feathers. It took a lot of effort to remain composed around you. But as soon as you were done and your hands left him, he was left with a lingering sense of longing.

The hero followed you out and into your office where you sat down in the old chair that had been there almost as long as you’d been alive. He looked around and noticed all the pictures and belongings that decorated the walls and shelves. Honing in on one photo in the middle of the wall of a little girl holding what appeared to be a newborn foal, he looked back at you.

“Is this you?”

“Hm? Oh. Yeah. That was the first foal I ever helped my dad deliver when he was working with horses.” Keigo looked impressed and moved down the line of frames. Lots of smiling faces and memories.

“You were a cute kid, y’know?” Hands shifted into his pockets and he leaned against a filing cabinet. You scoffed and waved your hand dismissively. “No really. You grew up into a really beautiful woman. Inside and out.”

“Really?” You looked at him in confusion. Your hair was a mess and you were wearing yesterday’s mascara. Surely he was just teasing you like those boys did in elementary school. Always picking on you because you came to school with horses on your tshirts and nose always buried in books about animals.

“Well yeah. I don’t just let anyone put their hands on my wings and have my feathers, you know.”

“About that. Why did-..”

“I can’t explain it, but I just wanted to make sure you were safe, I guess.” You were thankful for the dim lighting of your small office so he wouldn’t see your cheeks blush. You weren’t used to compliments like that and it showed.

“So uh-...Same time next week, Doc?” He could sense your exhaustion and decided not to keep you here longer than needed. But even so, you visibly pouted at the thought of saying goodbye again. Without thinking, you found a sticky note and quickly scribbled something down before handing it to him. “What’s this?”

“J-just for emergencies. It’s my cell number. If you know...if you feel any pain or need anything while the clinic is closed.” As he looked at the numbers you wrote the prescription you mentioned earlier which he then accepted and slipped into his pocket.

“Heh alright. Maybe I’ll shoot you a text if I get lonely.” The panic on your face made him laugh. You really were cute. Why did he have to say it like that?

“Oh my god, just go!” You shrieked, shoving him out the door while he continued to laugh. However before he relented and disappeared, he turned quickly and pressed a kiss to your cheek. You stood still in stunned silence. Your skin tingled where his lips had been, fingers lifting to touch the spot in disbelief.

“See ya later. I’ll text you.” Keigo backed away down and disappeared into the dark alley. Leaving you standing there wondering if you had dreamed what just happened. Your heart raced, the pulse thundering in your ears

Oh no....

[cant-blink]

Prisoner, Ch. 1

Summary: Gigan and Megalon meet a young Ghidorah. Gigan is intent on converting the child into their pirate crew, whether he likes it or not. 

-

What the hell happened here?

Glancing between the red planet ahead of them and the radar meant to detect life, both seemed desolate. But that can’t be right, he’s heard all about this world and the rare fauna it held, valued on the exotic pet black-market. Yet the sensors were picking up no life down below. Not even a plant.

Gigan rechecked the coordinates, just to ensure that they made it to the right world. Yep, it was and he wondered if there was some sort of malfunction.

He glanced back, seeing Megalon play-wrestling with Scoli. He said nothing to the beetle and centipede, as he directed the ship to orbit this world. Maybe they were in a bad spot? But as they moved, there continued to be no signs of life down below. Odd, very odd indeed. It was almost li-

Wait, there we go! The radar was finally picking up life signatures by the world’s single giant ocean. That’s a relief.

He lets out a soft breath, a smile growing on his beak as his hooked claw reached out and delicately pushed some of the buttons on the control panel. He glanced back again at his crewmates.

“Hey,” he started, getting their attention. “We’re going in for a landing.”

And that’s the only warning they were getting to brace themselves before he plunged the ship down into the atmosphere with speed. Flames erupt from the front of the ship and the floor began to tremble slightly before increasing in intensity. The emergency light flashed as warnings came to the control panel’s computer to slow the fuck down! But Gigan held firm, his beak cracking into a wide grin. 

The screaming coming from behind him only encouraged his behavior as they cut through the last layer of cloud.

Cutting it a bit short, he leveled out the ship close enough to the ground to whip up a huge plume of dirt and debris. Their momentum held firm, the landscape zooming beneath them at breakneck speed.

Looming up from the horizon was a mountain, that they were heading straight for!

“GIGAN, STOP IT!!” he heard shouting and he was pretty sure it was Megalon. He lets out a laugh before activating the anti-gravity devices to lift the ship up higher to avoid a mountain range. There was the ocean just beyond, purple in color. Here we go. He finally brought the ship to a halt and began hovering it down towards the ground. Easy now, easy... Putting down the gears, the ship landed delicately onto the rocky shore. 

Perfect, as always!

Turning towards his crew, he saw Scoli clinging to a wall and Megalon stuck on his back and he shook his head slightly. But he did nothing to help up his clumsy friend as he refocused on the control panel. 

“Get ready to go. I’m going to activate the cameras; I want full 360 view of the place.” He glanced out a window. “Don’t want to miss out on an opportunity, after all.”

-

He’s almost done with this world.

Its lifeforms were quite large and plentiful, and so many of them had young. Perfect conditions for harvesting lifeforce and fueling his growth. He’s already gathered enough victims into his bio-sac dome to make the journey to the next world and was now occupying his time until his meal was ready for consumption. Nothing more fun than a round of exploration, and senseless murder!

He had just found the ocean, and he was playing with it. Its water seemed to have solidified into a thick purple substance, like gelatin, and it seemed to be alive in and of itself. It would rise up in thick tendrils and nudged against his legs in an attempt to engulf him; it reminded him of his bio-sac’s tentacles snatching up anything that came too close. 

Luckily, it was very easy for him to pull free and it only encouraged his curiosity. He would bite into the jelly and his teeth would penetrate a transparent layer. There was the taste of salt-water in the fluid that poured into his maw. 

Blegh.

He wasn’t a fan of eating it, and he lets the pieces splatter onto the ground from his mouth. But biting chunks out of it was still very fun indeed. What was more fun, though, was him spotting a creature further out to sea. It wasn’t a species he’s met before, and how could he resist flying out to meet it?

This prey was the largest creature he’s met in his short life so far, about half his size. It stood upright, without front appendages beyond a few small tentacles at the front of its body. Its disproportionately large feet were gouging chunks out of the gelatin ocean as it walked on its surface. It had a crest structure jutting out the back of its head and a large glowing... eye on either side of it, glowing a bright amber. 

It seemed so blissfully unaware of his presence as he flew over it, as if it was confident its sheer size would protect it from harm. No doubt, it had no natural predators on this measly planet, but he was anything but natural.

He opened his jaws and shot flaming energy balls at it. The thick purple liquid rippled out as some of his fireballs struck the surface, explosions coming up around his prey. It lets out an echoing booming cry and the young Ghidorah does not let up. He shoots another trio of fireballs, one of them striking its tail and severing it to fall into the disturbed ocean. The tentacles thrashed around as its cries grow more high-pitched in distress.

Chuckling to himself, the young dragon swooped in from behind, his talons out to sink into the creature’s flesh. It began to struggle, but he was not to be dislodged as his three jaws surged forward to tear into its flesh. Rip it apart bit by bit.

After a moment spent torturing this creature, his wings began to flap. Luckily, this world had a thick atmosphere with light gravity, allowing him to take off with relative ease even with this added burden.

There was a bit of a suction effect trying to pull it off the ocean, as if the creature was gripping it, but with another tug, he ripped it free. Chunks of the purple gelatin fell from its feet and back onto the rest of the ocean.

He flew this creature back to the beach, and dropped it onto land without care. Its collision onto the beach was not a pleasant one from the sound of it and it seemed to struggle getting itself back up. He doesn’t allow it to recover as he landed beside it, his jaws clamping onto different parts of its mangled broken body before lifting it into the air.

Hearing the cries of fear and pain as he slammed his prey into the ground repeatedly was like music to his ears and always had him wanting to hear more. He hoped this was a plentiful species, as he was starting to run out of toys to play with.

It was a sure sign that soon, it’ll be time to move on. 

Dropping his still-living prey onto the ground one last time, he planted a foot onto it to keep it pinned and leaned down to start stripping flesh from its body to devour. He didn’t require flesh to survive, he needed only to sap their life energy. But it was still fun to taste, to rip apart, even better if they were still alive while he did so.

His right head caught sight of something flashing through the sky over the mountains. His left head focused on it as well as he fed, his large eyes taking in every detail.

Not a meteor, but a ship. It was landing somewhere much further up the beach.

Oh, good! More toys to play with! It’s not often that prey just hand themselves on a silver platter like this.

Licking his bloodied lips, he shifted his foot to where its giant amber eyes were, assuming this must be the head. The creature wasn’t even struggling anymore, even as he placed all his weight onto that foot, crushing it beneath his weight. Feeling the bones break apart and the blood spreading over his sole, he pulled his foot away to admire his work for a moment before turning away. He started running towards the ship, his wings fanning open wider to catch the wind until he built up enough speed to kick off the ground and fly into the air.

Let’s have some fun.

-

“Ghidorah?”

Megalon tilted his head, looking back at the screen Gigan was watching, spotting a small kaiju flying in. The cyborg had the image zoomed in and enhanced, and he can see a three headed creature making a bee-line straight for them. The beetle has never met this infamous ‘Ghidorah’ before, so he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. This, however, wasn’t it.

“That’s Ghidorah?” he couldn’t help but ask. This was the creature that killed off Gigan’s Masters? The one the cyborg was lusting over? The one the beetle declared as his rival? THIS was the cosmic terror?!

Well, beating this thing to a pulp was going to be easier than he thought and he was about to hurry outside to do just that when Gigan speaks up.

“He’s not my Ghidorah,” he told him with audible confusion and disbelief. “This is a whole new one. I never heard of another Ghidorah being created.” The cyborg chuckled slightly as he watched the screen. This hydra was a lot smaller than the one he knew, a youngster most likely. Was his Ghidorah breeding somewhere out there and this was one of his offspring? Isn’t that very interesting...

“What do we do with it?” Scoli asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Gigan chortled. “We invite him to join us. A Ghidorah, even a young one like this, will be more valuable than anything else we can poach from this planet.”

“If he’s so valuable, shouldn’t we sell him?” Megalon asked with an edge to his voice. He didn’t want to have this... thing with them, so he’s willing to say anything to get rid of this little dragon. Gigan’s Ghidorah or not, Megalon didn’t want the potential competition for the cyborg’s attention.

Gigan was more than aware of what the beetle was trying to do and he couldn’t hold back a smirk at Megalon’s jealousy. “No amount of money would be good enough.” He heard the ‘hmph’ from the insect and turned back to look at the little hydra. “Like it or not, Megalon, we’re keeping him.” He looked towards Scoli. “Clear out one of the containment units, one of the heavy duty ones, just in case. We’ll meet you outside.”

Scoli nodded softly before turning and scurrying away towards the lower decks. Gigan spent another moment to watch the little dragon come in for a landing nearby before opening the doors and moving towards the exit.

Megalon rushed to keep up. “But what if it’s not a Ghidorah and it’s just some random thing that LOOKS like a Ghidorah?” What did he have to say to discourage this cyborg’s interest in this youngster?

“You’re being silly now, babe,” Gigan said with humor before continuing. “I know what a Ghidorah looks like. There’s no mistaking them for anything else.”

“But... but... He’s so tiny! Are we really going to play baby-sitter until he’s all grown-up?”

“I play baby-sitter with you all the time, soooooo...” Gigan drawled before he looked over his shoulder at him, knowing exactly how to shut this beetle up. “You’re not trusting me, Megalon. Acting all jealous over a kid of all things.” He maintained hard eye-contact with the insect. “Keep yourself in check, or I’ll start reconsidering our friendship.”

Megalon froze for a moment. Did Gigan just call him- “I’m not jealous!” the beetle stated defensively, fumbling over his thoughts a bit as he tries to come up with a valid excuse for his behavior. “I just don’t think this is a good-”

Suddenly, the sound of an explosion came and the ship’s foundation shook. Gigan knew immediately what was happening; the damn kid was attacking their ship! Without another word towards Megalon, he rushed outside and turned in the direction the young Ghidorah should be. There he was, shooting... fire at the hull.

He never knew his own Ghidorah to spit fire. In the time they spent together in Nebulan captivity, he’s only ever seen him shoot lightning. Very interesting...

The little one very quickly caught sight of his movement and all three of those heads turned towards him.

Silence...

-

Well, this wasn’t what he was expecting.

He was expecting small lesser creatures to be in this ship; that’s always been the case in his experience. But what came out was no small creature, oh no. This one was damn near twice his size!

He’s never seen anything so huge in his short life; in fact, he’s never met a fellow kaiju before. He was still young enough that different races still held novelty to him, and his eyes took in every detail. The creature had green flesh and gold... scales? And three wings, and one eye. And 2 extra appendages that ended in silver hooks. A weapon, that’s what this thing is.

But he was not one to be easily intimidated; even as young as he is, a Ghidorah was still not a creature to mess with. Besides, can you imagine how much life-force he can syphon out of this thing? Sure, it’s not as potent as the souls of children, but the sheer amount would more than make up for it. It would be enough to fuel TWO trips to the next world!! This thing looks very pointy and sharp though, so best to be carefu-

“Hey, kid,” the creature spoke in an odd mixture of a natural and mechanical voice. Really, the fact it talks at all was most surprising. The young Ghidorah never had anyone actually talk to him in a way he understands. Supposed it was an inevitability, but what now?

Flee, or try to kill it for that bounty of lifeforce? Never before has he ever had to make that kind of decision. He usually just defaulted to the latter.

“Ghidorah, right?”

Wait, how did it know his name...?

...

Heh, seems his reputation has preceded him. But then, what did this thing want? It knew who he was and yet doesn’t run in fear? His suspicions were starting to overcome his pride. For the first time, he engaged in this conversation. “Who are you?”

“Name’s Gigan,” the creature said in a strangely casual tone that did nothing to ease the young dragon.

“How do you know who I am?”

“Heh, I know another Ghidorah,” he told him. “Great friends, him and I. Used to work together in another solar system. A pleasant surprise to see another one here. You’ve been having fun, I see.”

The young dragon narrowed a pair of eyes. Another Ghidorah? He had no idea there were other Ghidorah out there. The idea any of them would be friends with this thing was dubious though. 

“Why did you come here?” He had no intentions on stopping his questioning, especially not while he was still on edge about this whole situation. 

"Glad you asked. Y'see, I travel around, stripping worlds of their resources, and life," At once the young Ghidorah's eyes lit up a bit with interest, and this 'Gigan' seemed to notice as he chuckled. "Yeah, sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Exactly why I worked so well with the other Ghidorah, when our goals align perfectly, huh?" He took a step closer and the dragon's body tensed up, still apprehensive. Thankfully, Gigan comes no closer. "I came to this world looking for a good time. And here we are. Fate works in strange ways, bringing us together, huh?"

The youngster can already tell where this was going before this funny-looking creature said it.

“How can I not give you the opportunity to join me? Whaddya say, kid? Interested?” 

The hydra doesn’t answer or move for a long moment. So many red flags were shooting up in his heads, and he was unsure if it was just his natural instinct to distrust other lifeforms. He just... didn’t like this thing. He didn’t like how it spoke to him or the words it was saying. It just... seemed manipulative.

He should get out of here. Whatever this thing has planned, it wasn’t good and he takes a step back. 

His instincts seemed to prove correct as the creature’s beak twisted into a smirk at seeing him step back. His tone too seemed to change, still friendly but with an edge laced into it. 

“You sure you want to do that? It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”

The little Ghidorah said nothing, glaring at this creature before shaking his heads. Yeah, it was time to leave. He should fly back to his bio-sac and devour what he can before vacating this planet. Now. The urgency in his instincts only got worse when he spotted movement by the door to find another giant kaiju, roughly the same size as the one in front of him. It wasn’t as sharp-looking, but it did have pointy front limbs. It had no wings that he can see and it had a strange... horn between giant golden eyes that looked to be made of a bunch of little eyes.

“Such a shame,” the pointy one continued, the red jewel on that forehead starting to glow. “I was hoping you’d be smarter than the last Ghidorah.”

The youngster couldn’t ignore the red-flags anymore and he attempted to make a run for it. But no sooner had he turned his heads than he felt a jolt as a red beam erupted from the creature, hitting the scales in his chest.

Thankfully, his underside had heavy plated armor that held up well, but it was still enough force to stumble him back. He screeched in anger before regaining his balance, facing the two giant kaiju.

Seemed he had no choice but to stand and fight, in what would be the most dangerous battle he’s ever faced in his young life.

[revengeisourlullaby]

Hi I just read “everything happens for a reason” (loved it btw) I was wondering if you could make a sequel to it? Y/N is still try to get over her break up with Thor and Loki reassures her that she is more than enough for him. It would be more vanilla though. (Sorry that this is so long🥺)

it’s not long at all, don’t worry! i was actually contemplating about making a sequel to it. so i already have smth in the works! i’ll have it done probably by the end of the week :))

edit: I’m so sorry for this being so late!! I know I said a week and then my life went up in chaos. Forgive me for my untimely posting. Regardless, here is the sequel to the Loki fic, Everything Happens For a Reason. Hope you enjoy! 

Warnings: None. Just fluffy Loki

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 2.3K

You awoke to the pitter-patter of the New York rain falling against the window yet again. You thought the worst of it happened yesterday while you were running away from your problems. Speaking of problems, the last thing you wanted was to go back home. Even though it wouldn’t be until later this evening, you felt that your apartment was forever tainted with the betrayal you witnessed. Going back in there would be like playing a broken record. Forever stuck in the limbo of what was.

Rubbing the sleep from your eyes you rolled over to feel for Loki, but instead, you were met with room temperature sheets, another body vacant from the bed. Your stomach sank. Had Loki lied? It wouldn’t be beside him but with you, he was so transparent. It felt like cigarettes were being put out all over your skin, your nerves were fired up in all the wrong ways. You sat up in the bed and pulled the sheets up to your chest along with your knees. You felt your body become lethargic.

Am I worth anything to anybody? Am I really that disposable?

Hot, stinging tears began to fall from your eyes. Self-doubt and deprecating thoughts filling your brain. Perpetual questions of wondering your worth not only in romantic fashion but just in life came to be the spearhead of your worries. Everything felt intrusive and counterfeit. Maybe he saw you as easy and knew you would give up easily to him in your state of vulnerability. You just wanted somebody to be appreciative of you.

Maybe he and his brother weren’t cut from that different of a cloth. Sliding out of the bed you went to put on your clothes from the night before in hopes of getting out of the hotel without too much trouble. But when you bent over to pick your jeans up from the floor they were damp and cold and it made you feel even worse. Your hoodie was in a similar condition and to top it off, you couldn’t find your underwear to save your life. You groaned out loud and felt trapped in this opulent room and everywhere you looked was a painful reminder of everything bitter and vile.

You climbed back in bed and decided to just wait for your clothes to finish drying up. Unsure of when that would be because the rain outside was creating a thin layer of humidity in the room. Sighing you curled into the fetal position and held onto an extra pillow hoping that it would provide you with some semblance of comfort. Your tears started up again and there was a pain beginning to build in your stomach. You wanted to scream. You wanted to release yourself of all the negative energy that was boiling within you. Clutching the extra pillow to your face you let out a wail that you had been holding in for far too long. All the pent-up energy from yesterday of trying to hold your own against the perfidy Thor presented you with and now you were struggling with the concept of Loki using you and your vulnerability for a cheap fuck. You were curled up in a hotel room, naked and crying about everything. You felt pathetic. You just wanted to sleep forever. 

With the last sniffle leaving your body you took a deep breath and shuddered into your body. Your breathing labored and shallow, you tried to calm yourself down in hopes of falling back asleep. But those hopes were dilapidated when you heard the hotel room door click open. You thought about faking sleep but the idea of faking anything took up too much space to even think about carrying out. So you opted to just lie still and wait for anything to be said to you. Maybe it was just one of the housekeeping people and they would leave upon seeing someone still in the room.

“Y/N, you up yet?”

Housekeeping would’ve been too easy wouldn’t it?

Sighing you meekly responded to Loki, tears and sorrow welling up in your eyes and throat once more.

“Yeah, been up for a little while.”

He caught on to it immediately. Your position in the bed, the lack of tone in your voice. He knew he should’ve waited but he thought a surprise of something would lift your spirits even more. Time was simply not on his side and you arose long before he anticipated. Making his best judgment at the situation he was debating which road of sentiment he should walk down. He didn’t want to make things worse for you.

Loki set down a bag, the crinkling catching your attention and you looked over your shoulder to see where he was. 

He went to get food? He hadn’t skipped at all?

“Surprise.”

Instantly you were filled with regret, upset with yourself for jumping to conclusions about the situation at hand. You couldn’t help it though, your ability to have trust within someone else was smeared, and regardless of Loki’s reassuring words the night prior, the pain had yet to subside. Upon seeing your face, Loki saw the residual puffiness in your face and how the tip of your nose was heated and slightly swollen from your crying before he walked in. 

“I’m sorry, Loki.”

Was all you could muster, wordwise. You sat yourself up in the bed and wiped the residue of tears from your face trying to make yourself appear as normal as possible. Wrapping the sheet tightly around you, you finally faced him. Loki stepping lightly to the edge of the bed. 

“Did you think I left...for good?”

You rolled your heads towards him, cynicism clear on your face. A bit of sarcasm was thrown into the mix but it was all a guise to somewhat shield him from the pain and embarrassment you were feeling. Looking at the wall in front of you, a dry response left your lips.

“Yes. What else was I supposed to think? My mind was running through all the possible reasons as to why you left. And the one that kept nagging was the idea that my vulnerability yesterday was used to an advantage other than my own.”

Sadness no longer colored your emotions but rather numbness. You weren’t sure what to feel. You wanted to trust Loki and you believed that you could but time was definitely needed. With another sigh, you continued.

“And then you walk in here with bags of stuff and I look like a fool for being so dramatic in nature.”

“Well that’s nothing new for us now is it?”

Loki’s quip back at you had your eyes narrowing into thin slits but again was quickly washed away because something about him made the circumstances seem not so perilous. You bowed your head, feeling that you had said enough. In place, Loki’s voice filled the silence.

“My intention was for you to still be asleep by the time I returned. You seemed so peaceful. The last thing I wanted was to wake you from that state of rest. I figured I’d be back in time to properly surprise you with some gifts.”

You smiled a bit, feeling the angst start to fade away, but quickly to feel it fade into guilt. But you weren’t allowed to stew in it for too long, for Loki standing up from the bed caught your attention distracting you from your thoughts.

“Before it gets cold, I got us some breakfast. And..”

His sentence trailing off into a strain as he bent over to the side of the desk in the front of a room to pull out yet another bag.

“I picked you up some clothes to wear for today. Figured wearing the ones from this past evening was morally and aesthetically dull and trudging back to your apartment would be in poor judgment. It’s not much but enough for the day and for our date this evening.”

Your eyebrows shot up into your hairline completely forgetting about what you agreed to with Loki during your session of pillow talk while you were drifting in and out of sleep. 

He really meant that? Wow, okay.”

“Oh come now, you hadn’t forgotten already had you?”

Loki was mocking you now. Fully aware that by your initial reaction you had forgotten. 

“Look, in my defense, I was drifting off to sleep.”

“Mhmm, sure Y/N.”

Setting the bag in between the two of you on the bed, Loki looked at you, eyes urging you to dig in the bag.

“You happen to have another shirt I can throw on before I start eating? My hoodie is still damp and-”

Loki reached into the bag full of clothes and pulled out an oversized graphic tee cutting your sentence off and holding it out in front of your face.

“Thank you.”

You were genuinely surprised and grateful. It was such a simple act but the fact that Loki went out of his way to get you clothes and food following a night of such intensity made you feel warm and finally appreciated. Something you hadn’t felt with previous relationships, especially with your last. Taking the shirt from him, you looked for the tag and pulled it out with your teeth.

“Animal.”

Loki side-eyed you, his comment made obviously in somewhat of jest. You chuckled and wormed your way into the shirt. Once pulling it over your head you finally dug into the paper bag that was still surprisingly warm despite the time that had gone by. The smell of a breakfast sandwich filling your nose and your stomach growled in response, eager to be fed. Loki made a sarcastic remark but you couldn’t be bothered with responding the second you placed the sandwich to your lips. 

The satisfaction of the food also gnawing away the ritual morning agitation you were always burdened with. Nothing but soft smacks and soft moans of enjoying your food filled the space. A sign that obviously, the food was worthwhile. Loki had looked at you eyebrow raised and chuckled to himself watching you be completely lost in the sandwich.

“If I would’ve known you’d be tearing the sandwich up like that I would’ve purchased three.”

Your eyes rolled and simultaneously you were thinking about how he got all this stuff in the first place. Mouth still full with food, your speech a little muffled.

“Speaking of purchase, how’d you buy all this anyway.”

“Mischief always finds its way, darling.”

“I think the word is pronounced thievery, Loki.”

“Same difference.”

It’s almost as if all the trauma that you suffered through yesterday had never happened. Being with Loki and the playful banter that was his character made everything feel at ease. You felt happy, actually and most importantly you didn’t feel guilty for it. Was the timing a little brisk? Perhaps, but in the end, what really mattered was your happiness and right now it felt that you had found it. 

Finishing up with your sandwich you balled up the wrapping and threw it back into the bag. Standing up from the bed you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. Turning on the light you saw a plethora of toiletry products that you hadn’t brought. A toothbrush, toothpaste, body wash, lotion, a few makeup products that you knew were picked up in pure confusion, and some leave in for your hair. Your eyes widened and you let out a belly laugh.

“Jesus Loki, did you raid the fuckin Walgreens on the corner.”

“Hey if you don’t want it, with the flick of my wrist it will vanish. Choose your next words wisely.”

You knew he was playing and you decided one last epigram would satisfy your bratty nature. Peeking your head out from the bathroom, you bowed in a dramatic courtesy.

“Thank you my king for so valiantly stealing all the toiletries from our nearest corner store. My gratitude is eternal. Like that?”

“You’re impossible.”

Walking back to Loki, you stood between his legs and raked your fingers through his slicked-back hair. A softness took over your features, appearing small and doe-like to Loki as he looked up at you.

“Thank you, Loki, really. I know we bust each other’s balls but I really appreciate you. I can already foresee how tightly I’m going to be wrapped around your finger. You already have me falling for you at a speed that is impractical to calculate.”

“My Y/N.”

Hearing the adoration layered in his tone made your heart warm and the possession of your name falling from his mouth made your body shiver. Realizing how quickly you could get used to this.

“Now you’ll finally see what it’s like to be on the receiving end. Ever since we stumbled upon each other I was enamored with you. I couldn’t bear to see you with another and that another being none other than my brother was like a fiery blade that I had no power of removing. When I fell for you I knew I was irrevocably destined to be yours. Regardless of the circumstance. And now, if you are willing to take my hand in this journey I would like to make you mine.”

You pressed your lips together in a firm smile before showing your teeth, feeling overwhelmed with reverence for the man in front of you.

“I’d be more than happy to accompany you. Even more so for this evening.”

Loki lightly smiled and then leaned up to press a gentle kiss to your lips. The air light and emanating the tender yet sardonic romance that was beginning to brew between your long-lost lover.

[daeyeolss]

how I make my gifs: a tutorial

Hi everyone! Just in case someone asks in the future + for those curious, I'm here with a tutorial on how I make gifs! If you have any questions whatsoever, please do send me an ask! I’ll be glad to help! The gif I made with this tutorial is the one right here! 

So... let’s start this tutorial with the programs I use.

Adobe Photoshop 2020 - To make the gifs, majority of the work is done in this program.

TopazLabs (Topaz DeNoise 6 and Topaz Clean 3) - To "denoise" and "clean" the gifs, as the names would suggest. Links for download: Topaz DeNoise 6 & Topaz Clean 3

KMPlayer (an alternative would be PotPlayer, or any other video playing program that allows you to capture the frames) - To capture the frames. - I use an older version of KMPlayer, though I don't know which exact version that is.

Now let’s continue onto how I use these programs to create gifs!

Step 1: After you’ve downloaded the necessary programs, download your video. The way to get the best gifs? Quality videos. That’s the first step. For K-pop performances, I recommend this website (the hq files are in .ts form, KMPlayer should be able to open these). Bookmark it! It’s really handy :) Get the video you want to make a gif from and open it in KMPlayer (or PotPlayer or any other program, but for this tutorial I’ll use KMPlayer). Open your video in said program and look for the part you want to make a gif of. Then press CTRL+G (I apologize because I cannot for the life of me remember if this was a standard shortcut or not)

Step 2: After pressing CTRL+G, you’ll be met with this screen:

I’ll briefly explain the numbered parts, but before that, these are my standard settings and just make sure you have them all the same and it should be good!

1: This is where your captured frames will be extracted to. I have them extracted to the standard folder, but you can change this if you want to. You’ll need this folder later when opening the frames!

2: Like it says, this is the image format. I use PNG in the highest quality, as the name would suggest, for the quality.

3: These are the amount of frames the program captures. Say you put in every 2 or 4 frames, you’ll get more choppy gifs. To get the smoothest gifs, put “every frame” (this in turn will increase the gif size as the amount of frames will obviously be bigger).

Once you’ve put in the correct settings and you’ve put the slider where you want the capturing process to start, press “start” (now, before you do this I recommend putting the video on mute as the audio will start to get kinda demon-y the longer you record lol save your ears pls). Then, when you’ve captured all the frames you need, pause the video, press CTRL+G again and click “stop” and close the pop-up/program.

Step 3: It’s time to open up Photoshop! Then go to File > Scripts > Load Files into Stack... (for older versions/another version I used in the past this one didn’t work and I had to use the “Load Multiple DICOM Files...” instead. It should work similarly though, if I remember correctly).

You then get a little pop-up that looks like this:

All you have to do here is click “browse” and navigate to the folder where your captured frames have been saved in. Select all the frames you need, wait for them to load in and then click “OK”!

Step 4: Depending on the amount of frames you’ve selected to load in, as well as the beefiness of your PC/laptop, the frames loading part might take a little while. Photoshop is importing every frame as a separate layer into one file, so just... grab a drink or something and wait a bit! When you’re done waiting, if you haven’t already, go to Window > Timeline. This will show you the animation timeline. For older Photoshop versions this is slightly different (I believe it’s called animation). Then click “Create Video Timeline” and click the 3 squares on the left bottom side (in older versions it’s on the right bottom side, not sure). 

Step 5: After you’ve done all that, you’ll want to select all your layers. You can do this by pressing ALT+CTRL+A or going to Select > All Layers. With all the layers selected, you have to go to Layer > Arrange > Reverse. You only have to do this if you used the “Load Files into Stack” option!

Step 6: After reversing all your layers, you’ll want to go to the three lines you see in the following screenshot, and click “Make Frames From Layers”.

As the name suggests, this turns all the layers into frames. I don’t know why but the first frame will always be 5 seconds long, so to make it easy on yourself when you want to check your gif while editing, just put that on 0 for now. You can do that by clicking the seconds under the frame and clicking “No delay”. After this, check to see if you have the right frames and if you need to delete some (you can do this at any point in the process but I didn’t know where to put it in the tutorial oops).

Step 7: Time to crop the gif to the correct size! For this gif I’m using as an example, I’m making it specifically for Twitter, so the sizes aren’t that obvious (for Twitter I usually use a width of 850 px to keep it sharp, for long size gifs (more height than width for example), I add a background so that it eventually still becomes 850x850 pixels). There’s many posts on Tumblr about the correct sizes for gif/photosets, but a brief rundown of my most used sizes: one gif spanning the entire width of the post has to be 540 px in width. Two gifs next to one another need to have a width of 268 px. I use these dimensions the most! For others, you can Google! 

Step 8: After you’ve cropped the gif, you can do either of two things: either you first add the coloring of your choice and then sharpen the gif OR you do it the other way around. I usually switch these two around depending on how sharp the gif already looks before sharpening because I can’t stand looking at 2 pixels while coloring (lmao). For this one I’ll do the sharpening first.

The whole sharpening process is actually quite simple but you need to make sure that you do the following little steps in the right order or else it won’t work! Select all the layers (CTRL+ALT+A or Select > All Layers) and then click this little thingy:

Then you’re going to Filter > Convert for Smart Filters

If you don’t do it in this order, your gif will end up... well, not being a gif and not moving. If that happens, track back in your history to see if you did it in the correct order! :)

Step 9: The actual sharpening process! After clicking the “Convert for Smart Filters”, you’ll want to go to Filter again and find the Topaz Labs tabs. Personally, I usually do it in the order of DeNoise first and then Clean, but this is a personal thing, really.

I recommend playing around with the settings to see what fits the gif but here are my go-to DeNoise settings (tip: save these as a preset so you only have to click that for faster giffing!):

And my Clean settings:

Press OK when you’re done with these and then go to Filter > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen. These are my SS settings (just copy these, and again, save as a preset!):

Depending on how sharp you want the gif to be, you can input the same settings or go to this in the layers and change the percentage.

Now that we’re done with these... it’s time to flatten it! Just follow these little steps:

And then you wait. Again. I know.

Step 10: After playing the waiting game, you’ll click the three little squares again and do the same thing you did earlier: “Make Frames Into Layers”. Delete the first frame. Add a coloring of your choice (can be a PSD, can be your own coloring, etc. this is honestly just... playing around with things and see what it can do). After you’ve done coloring, select all your frames (same lines as previous screenshot except now you’ll see a “Select All Frames” option, click it!) and change the time to whatever you like (I usually go for 0.05, 0.06, or 0.07. Again, just play around with this!! Try different things!) 

Step 11: Final step! Saving :) I use shortcuts a lot to make things faster so either press ALT+SHIFT+CTRL+S or go to File > Export > Save For Web. Not much to do here, just copy the following settings and save the file!

!!! NOTE: After making a new gif today I realized there’s a weird dotted border on the top of my gifs, it’s a bit difficult to explain but I had no idea what it was. Turns out that the reason why this showed up was because, as shown in the screenshot below, I had “Transparency” selected. If you’re experiencing this too, UNSELECT the transparency and it should be all good!

Also make sure that the “Looping Options” is set to Forever, or else your gif will play only once and then stop!

Tip: While making gifs for Twitter I at one point noticed that if I added in a white background, no matter what I’d do, it’d show up as yellow-y in the preview box. After googling I found that going to the options (1 in the screenshot) and then clicking “Sort by Luminance”, then double-clicking the lightest color (not the transparent one, 2 in the screenshot) and selecting white (or FFF) will get rid of this! This likely won’t be that useful for Tumblr gifs but just in case you ever want to have a white background...!

Then just... save, and upload to Tumblr! :)

Final note: Tumblr has a mix gif size of 3MB. If you have a gifset of 4 gifs you want to upload, all 4 gifs can be max 3MB each. Keep this in mind! If you’re over 3MB, delete a few frames and try again, or resize/crop your gif!

As it turns out, Tumblr has increased their gif size to 8MB, however, the quality tends to get compressed with larger gifs like that so per recommendation: keep them below 5MB! (thank you @yeoli​ for letting me know!)

I hope this helped! If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message and I’ll try my best to answer them.

[charmedslayer]

Gif/Coloring Tips (not quite a tutorial)

Note: I’m using Photoshop CS6.

I just thought I might post this in case it helps anyone improve their giffing skills or inspire them to get back into the giffing game.

I pretty much always see gif/coloring tutorials say to crop/resize/sharpen and THEN color. I propose to color and THEN crop/resize/sharpen.

When I got back into giffing and hadn’t done it in years, I saw a post saying they found big gifs easier to make and that inspired me to start giffing again.

And when I did I found it so much easier to color the gif because I could see all the colors I was working with cause the gif was so big (540px).

So I would color when the gif was still 1920x1080 and then resize it to 268px and once it was small I couldn’t see some of the small areas I’d done coloring for but I could see the difference it made if I turned some of the layers off. Sometimes I’d removed some colors from overly pixellated areas that would make the gif look slightly bad if I hadn’t, either they were too saturated or too bright or dark making them very pixellated. By working with the gif in 1080px I could see everything I was working with.

Steps Overview:

Import Screencaps

Create Frame Animation

Change Frame Delay (0.05 or 0.06)

Coloring

Cropping/Resizing

Adding text/subtitles (Arial Italic 9-11pt)

Convert to Smart Object (do not select coloring folder when converting)

Shorten Gif (if necessary)

Sharpening (Unsharp Mask + Smart Sharpen)

Save for Web (Adaptive/Selective Pattern or Adaptive/Selective Diffusion)

Now in more Detail:

Import Screencaps (Extract every frame when getting the caps)

Create Frame Animation

Make Frames from Layers

Select All Frames

Reverse Frame Animation

Set Loop to: Forever

Change Frame Delay to a range of 0.04-0.07

(0.05 or 0.06 will probably be the right speed most of the time)

Color Your Gif (yes color your gif now while it’s big and you can see every color you’re working with)

Crop/Resize (depending on # of gifs in your gifset: width x height)

I always resize with a couple extra pixels in width and height to get rid of transparent edges. (I will give examples below)

1 gif: 540 x 400

2 gifs: 540 x 350-400

2/3 gifs: 540 x 240-300

example: 1920x1080 ➝  544x306 ➝  540x300

2 gifs (side by side): 268 x 300-600

4 gifs (side by side): 268 x 268

4+ gifs: 540 x 220-280

6 gifs: 268 x 180-200

8 gifs: 268 x 150-170

example: 1920x1080 ➝  274x154 ➝  268x150

example: 1920x1080 ➝  292x164 ➝  268x160

example: 1920x1080 ➝  309x174 ➝  268x170

9 gifs: 177 x 150-250/178 x 150-250/177 x 150-250

(middle gif will be blurry if you don’t make it 178 rather than 177)

(To reinterate: left: 177. middle: 178. right: 177)

example: 1920x1080 ➝  274x154 ➝  177x150 (or 178x150)

example: 1920x1080 ➝  363x204 ➝  177x200 (or 178x200)

example: 1920x1080 ➝  452x254 ➝  177x250 (or 178x250)

10 gifs: 268 x 140-160

example: 1920x1080 ➝  272x153 ➝  268x140

example: 1920x1080 ➝  274x154 ➝  268x150

example: 1920x1080 ➝  292x164 ➝  268x160

Add text (Arial Italic 9-11pt or Calibri 10-13pt)

I think those are the two most used fonts. You can use whatever you want of course but I think Arial might be the standard for like gif subtitles.

Convert to Smart Object (Only select the layers not the folder with your coloring)

Shorten gif 

once in Smart Object you can just Set the Start and End of the Work Area on the timeline

therefore no need to delete frames that you then have to ctrl+z to get back if the gif is a tad too short)

Sharpening - This is what I use:

Unsharp Mask: 15-20%, 6.0 pixels, 0 levels

This adds more depth, like you know those 60fps video where it feels like you could reach into the video or the people could reach out, yeah kinda like that.

Smart Sharpen: 500%, 0.3px, Remove Gaussian Blur, ☑ More Accurate (ticked, very important to tick it)

Save for Web

Selective/Adaptive + Pattern/Diffusion

Try different combinations for each individual gif, such as:

Selective Pattern

Adaptive Pattern (i use this most often)

Selective Diffusion

Adaptive Diffusion

Adaptive+Pattern will look best more of the time but sometimes Selective+Pattern will look better.

Diffusion will sometimes be better looking than Pattern but I mostly use pattern now.

Open Gif in Photoshop

The frame delay might have changed to something slower or faster. Check that it’s still the same, if not then: look at the next step.

Change Frame Delay (back to what you set it to original)

(This might not be a problem for everyone but it is for me)

Usually if you set it to 0.06 originally then it’ll have changed to 0.07, if you set it to 0.05 then it’s possibly 0.04 or even 0.03.

So change the frame delay back to what you had it on.

Save for Web (again)

Upload to tumblr and save as draft (so you can check that gif speed and everything else looks good)

Post!

[xiaomoxu]

Xu Mo - Painting Gallery Date (Translation) Part 1 and 2

SPOILER ALERT!!

This date from CN server which hasn't been released on EN server yet. Might contains some spoiler.

Brace yourself for angst moment from Lucien (as usual)☹

I'm doing this translation for personal reason, so I'm sorry if there's some mistranslation. Kindly tell me if you found some :) feel free to read it~ ^^

I used Lucien CN name on it, Xu Mo.

Read prologue part here

PART 1

I looked at the sketchbook on the door that I hung up by myself.

The paper stays on the page where I lost the puzzle, the missing part is just like my current mood, empty

Several days have passed, Xu Mo still did not reply.

MC: Is he still busy

Just when I was about to enter the house, my cell phone rang suddenly.

Seeing the name on the screen, after two seconds of shock, I quickly answered the phone.

MC: Xu Mo!

Xu Mo: Yes, It's me.

Different from this tone before, this time his voice has a familiar temperature.

Xu Mo: MC, how are you recently?

MC: I....

"Very good" That two words choked in my throats, unable to tell.

There was an inaudible sigh on the other end of the phone.

Xu Mo: It seems that we are the same now.

Xu Mo: Sorry, my research has entered a new stage recently. I spend most of the time in the laboratory and don't look at my mobile phone often, so I can't reply to your message in time.

Xu Mo: The results of this research, is related to the fate of many people.

Xu Mo: Therefore, even if there are many difficulties, I will still finish it.

He paused, then said as if talking to himself

Xu Mo: Moreover, I also want to give myself a chance.

His voice is very soft, but it makes me feel a little uneasy

After a short silence, Xu Mo returned to his usual tone

Xu Mo: Have you found those pieces of puzzles?

Hearing what he said, I was a little surprised.

MC: So you saw it.

Xu Mo: I will not miss everything you recorded, but I haven't had time to reply.

Xu Mo: Sure enough, as I expected, some anxious little fool began to think again.

I was busted and my face turned red involuntarily

MC: Xu Mo, do you have time on the weekend

Xu Mo: Yes?

MC: The puzzle is still not found. I think if you are free, can you accompany me to buy a new one? It's not very far from here,

I know that my excuses are very bad, but I only have one thought at the moment... I want to see him.

There is a sound of even breathing. He seems to be hesitating

Not wanting to burdened him, I quickly tried to change the subject.

MC: What are you doing?

As soon as the voice fell, a chuckle came from over there.

Xu Mo: I'm nodding (?) Dozing off. 我在點頭.*

(* I'm not pretty sure with the translation so I put the original text)

PART 2

On Saturday afternoon, I came to the agreed place early

The weather today is surprisingly good. The sun is transparent and bright, and the air is full of colors, which warms the heart.

It was obviously not the first time I met Xu Mo in private, but I still felt a sense of tension.

MC: So many people...

Looking at the pedestrians coming and going, I couldn't help but feel a little worried in my heart. Should I call to confirm my location, in case he can't find me.

Xu Mo: Don't worry.

Xu Mo: Even in the crowd, I can see you at a glance.

I turned back subconsciously.

The breeze blew, and the leaves trembled in the wind. Golden light Use gentle brushstrokes to outline the slender and tall outline like a sketch.

As if he had a mind reading technique, he pointed out my worries as soon as he spoke.

Xu Mo: Sorry, I am late. Have you waited a long time?

His brows are slightly furrowed, his face is full of guilt.

MC: No, I just arrived.

I smiled at him and said with some guilty conscience. In fact, I

have been waiting for about half an hour.

I looked at Xu Mo quietly from the corner of the light, raising my hand to sort out his hair unnaturally.

He was wearing a white shirt, a dark gray tie around his neck, and a document bag in his hand. He had apparently just pulled out of work.

The thought that he hurried over before he had time to rest, I couldn't help but blame myself.

There was a heavy sigh from above.

Xu Mo: It seems that you are still mad at me.

MC: What?

I raised my head and looked at him for unknown reasons.

Xu Mo: Since when did you start hiding things from me?*

(*this is the edited translation)

The leaves trembled in the breeze. I looked at his Xu Mo eyes, which were full of emotions that I could not understand.

I faintly feel that Xu Mo today is unfavorable in peace.

Xu Mo: Don’t you want to buy puzzles? Let’s go.

The familiar smile returned to his face, as if it was just my illusion

MC: I don’t want to buy it anymore.. It’s just a few puzzle pieces, so I don’t need to buy another one.

MC: It's rare that we are all free. Compared with this, I want to do other things with you.

Xu Mo's eyes narrowed slightly as he watched me, and my heartbeat, which was so easy to calm down, became chaotic again.

After thinking for a moment, he asked softly.

Xu Mo: Would you like to go to a place with me?

Without thinking too much, I nodded and agreed.

MC: Okay.

A smile appeared at the corner of Xu Mo's eyes.

Xu Mo: There are so many people here, be careful not to get lost.

He got closer, trying to hold me.

I couldn't help but step back, avoiding the hand he extended to me.

A hint of surprise flashed across his face. After reacting, I also felt a little flustered at my actions.

MC: I didn't mean to avoid it, I just....

It's just that the palm of my hand is sweating a little, so I don't want you to notice it.

A simple sentence, but I can't say it, like a fishbone stuck in my throat, a dilemma.

Xu Mo: Okay, I know.

Xu Mo slowly lowered his stiff hand in the air, and he nodded slightly, with a clear look.

Xu Mo: It's getting late, let's go quickly.

After speaking, he turned around without looking at me again.

The wind rustled the leaves, and it was clear that winter was over, but I felt a little bit of chill.

Seeing Xu Mo's back getting further and further away, I had to hurry up to keep up.

I keep blaming myself in my heart, and I have accumulated a lot of words when I realized it, but I don't know where to start.

For some reason, a bunch of withered platycodons suddenly appeared before my eyes.

The flowers are in season and will wither afterwards.

Will people's feelings become indifferent because of long-term absence?

Just when I lowered my head and thought, my left shoulder was suddenly hit hard.

I raised my head and realized that the familiar figure had disappeared from my vision.

MC: Xu Mo...

The faint sound was like a pebble in the noisy street and fell into the vast sea without a single echo.

MC: Xu Moー

I clenched my fists and shouted loudly.

The passers-by slowed down and looked at me curiously, but quickly resumed their pace.

I stood before the crossroad and stopped.

The sound of whistle, footsteps, and noise gradually disappeared. All the passing scenery and crowds were blurred in outline, and only the sound of my own heartbeat was infinitely amplified.

For some reason, a vague picture flashed in my mind. It was a little girl sitting under the camphor tree. The voice soft said to me...

Little girl: I also know that this elder brother will not come back after he leaves.

Suddenly, I felt flustered for no apparent reason, and subconsciously looked for him everywhere.

Xu Mo: MC.

I looked for the voice and turned back-

Xu Mo: I am here. (CG Karma included here)

The noisy city streets, like a weaving crowd, bustling, I can only hear my heartbeat like thunder.

Through the haze, through the sea of ​​people, my eyes meet that pair of eyes that have been searching for a long time.

Without the slightest hesitation, Xu Mo locked his eyes firmly on me.

Maybe it's like what he said, even if there are crowds, he can find me at a glance.

Everything around us suddenly slowed down, just like a framed lens in a movie. In our eyes, we only have each other.

MC: ...

No matter how flustered, restless, anxious, or even fearful before.

As long as you meet the eyes of the person in front of you, the heart that is wandering in the air and helpless can instantly settle down.

The spring sun shines softly through the gaps of the leaves, layer by layer, passing through hesitation and depression, and blooming freely beside those who are struggling to pursue it.

The sadness and sorrow that I have experienced have become worthwhile, and the thoughts that have been carefully hidden are finally conveyed.

The longing that I have always had but cannot express is pouring out at this moment, and it has become the most transparent thought and the most meaningful collection.

Everything is wonderful and incredible.

>> Proceed to next part

[fletchphoenix]

According To Plan

Chapter One of the corpse bride au!!! YAY!

I’m so excited to start this and shall post it on AO3 separate to my oneshots. Hope you all enjoy! 

----------------------

Nimble fingers maneuvered a pen across parchment paper that was strewn across a creaky wooden desk. The owner of said fingers raised the quill, dipping it generously into the ink pot beside him and continuing his ministrations as the butterfly trapped inside the glass container set under the window. The butterfly’s wings fluttered in its makeshift cage as it periodically thudded against its transparent prison, while the man disregarded this and kept drawing the specimen. Once he determined he was done, the quill was swiftly discarded as he instead moved his hands to raise the glass containing the insect. It fluttered around the room for a few seconds, circling the man before finally making its retreat out of the window. In a way, the man felt like the butterfly, confined in a prison and unable to decide where he wanted to go and what he wanted to do. However, unlike the butterfly, he didn’t have someone to set him free.

  The chime of the clock from the monotonous town outside broke the man from his thoughts and, accompanied by the ringing of a newsman outside, bought his thoughts back to the harsh reality he was facing with his betroval. “Ten minutes until Atkinson boy's wedding rehearsal!” it declared, and Hugo felt the dread settle in. Ah yes. He was still due to marry Miss Gardiner tomorrow, wasn’t he? He didn’t know how he’d forgotten. He rose to his feet from his place at the desk and made his way towards the door in a bitter silence, pushing it open and making his way down the stairs with a bitter feeling of anxiety settling in the pit of his stomach. 

  He knew the wedding was a way for his mother to make money - but that didn’t mean he had to find it fair. Donella had never neglected to tell him that marriage was merely out of necessity and never for affection, however a part of him had always prayed that he would find someone he had genuine feelings for. But, here he was, about to leave for his wedding rehearsal for a marriage to a girl he’d never even spoken to or seen in his life and he had to just smile and accept it. After all, this was the big ‘money maker’ for his mother. Besides, he’d never even spoken to another woman before so..it wasn’t as if he could find a wife himself even if he tried. Nevertheless, he strode out the door and joined his mother in that fateful carriage. 

  The ride was short, Hugo all the while staring out of the window at the cobbled streets and the different shades of grey that covered the streets. It really was a drab town they lived in wasn’t it? All that covered this tedious town was shades of grey, making it all the more depressing in winter when the ivory snow joined the landscape. It seemed that all color just..ceased to exist in this place. Either way, Hugo desperately tried to distract himself from his upcoming betrothal to the mystery woman, who honestly should be marrying something like a Lord or at least someone of a higher class than him, but who was he to question her family’s decisions at this point. 

  “You’ve certainly got a good match, Hugo. All you have to do is not mess it up or scare her away. After all, everything must go according to plan.” Donella’s voice shattered the silent atmosphere and Hugo’s thought process. His eyebrow quirked up and a confused smile settled on his face as he looked at his mother in the cramped carriage. Her grey dress matched the general vibe of the town outside and blended in with the satin seats. 

  “Shouldn’t a Gardiner be marrying a Lord or-or something like that? I haven’t even spoken to her-” he began to question, before Donella rudely interrupted him.  

  “Nonsense, we are every bit as good as the Gardiners.” she declared before looking at her son, “Well at least we have that, then. No chance you’ve scared her away already.” Donella muttered before leaning back in the seat, making it clear this conversation was over. Hugo let out a frustrated sigh as gazed out the window once again, letting himself get lost again in the depressing nature of their wretched town.

  After around ten minutes, the carriage jolted and stopped in its tracks, the footman swinging the door open so he and his mother could exit. Donella gracefully stepped down onto the pavement and Hugo stumbled out after. Stone steps clicked under the heels on his mother’s boots as they ascended them. Once they reached the top, Donella’s hand raised to knock the dark oak door, Hugo looming awkwardly behind her as she and the mystery woman’s parents exchanged formalities in the doorway. The foyer of the house was of a decent size - not as spacious as the one in his mother’s mansion. Black and white checkered tiles covered the floor in a deliberate pattern, with grey curtains to compliment them and a grand, spruce piano to the right towards the hallway the elders were heading towards. A fireplace was on the left wall, the crest of the family carved into the stone above it, a few metres away sat a table along with paintings on the wall. A large staircase that broke into a left and right pathway sat in the middle of the room, Hugo not even daring to try ascending them for fear of what he’d find, or for fear of punishment from the hosts.

  Hugo absentmindedly let himself head over to the piano, letting himself be seated on the matching spruce seat, a layer of cotton that was covered by a grey velvet shielding it. His fingers drifted across the ivory keys before trying a few, the sound echoing in the foyer filled with just him. He tested a few more, a rhythm slowly being crafted by his own two hands as he let himself fall victim to the trance of music. His fingers were evidently not only good for sketching and writing, them dancing between the notes of his melody and blocking out any sound other than what was coming from the piano. It distracted him to not even hear the click of a woman’s high heels against that tiled floor as she stood behind him. His head slowly turned, meeting the face of a rather attractive woman before he fell back from the stool, knocking it to the floor and rising to his feet. “Oh my...do forgive me-” He uttered as he stumbled over his words.

  “You play beautifully.” she stated, her chestnut hair tied back into a neat bun and a desaturated mauve dress decorating her figure. Brown eyes stared into his blue ones in wonder and joy. He had to admit, she did look rather beautiful. 

  “I do apologise, miss Gardiner. How rude of me to, well-” he cut off his own words as his eyes glanced down to the stool, still laying on the ground since he knocked it. “Excuse me.” he whispered, reaching down to put the stool upright and his back straightening as he did so. As soon as he was finished, he arched his back, using his left hand to quickly dust off the seat as the woman watched him intently.

  “Mother won't let me near the piano.” she stated, still watching Hugo as he continued his avid dusting, “Music is improper for a young lady. Too passionate, she says.” she declared, her eyes focusing on a tile before redirecting themselves back to the man standing across from her. Hugo spent some time examining her face - it being thin and sculpted almost perfectly with freckles strewn across her face that were the same shade as her hair. So she was the woman he was betrothed to, huh? Well, she wasn’t that bad at all.

   “So...where’s your chaperone, Miss Gardiner?” he questioned, folding his arms, slightly uncomfortable in the black suit that his mother had purchased him specifically for the wedding tomorrow. Black was probably his least favourite color - his favourite definitely being green. Green reminded him of spring, the only time their town had any semblance of color, with the graveyard no longer looking desolate and having some signs of light and life. 

  “Well, considering the circumstances, you should call me Odelia.” she commented with a smile, her hands moving behind her back with a wider smile than he’d seen on anyone else in his life. It was strange, really. She reminded him of spring. 

  “`Well, uh..Odelia. Tomorrow we are to be..uh-” he began, a nervousness in his voice while in the presence of the woman he was about to marry 

  “Married.” 

  “Ah, yes. Married.” he chuckled nervously and bit the inside of his cheek, a lingering silence falling between them as they ran out of things to say. Hugo’s hands rose to pick at the threads on the sleeve of his suit jacket, before lowering his hands and opting to wring his cravat with shaky hands in an attempt to calm his nerves. It succeeded, helping to stop the slight quiver in his voice. 

  “You know...ever since I was a child, I dreamed of my wedding day.” she began, seemingly rambling to herself as she took a seat on the velvet stool and let her fingers ghost across the keys of the piano in front of them. “I always hoped that it would be with someone I deeply loved and someone to spend the rest of my life with.” She let out a little giggle, her lips curling into a gentle smile. “But I guess that’s silly isn’t it?” Odelia sighed, a hint of sadness in her tone as she stared at the floor solemnly. 

  “Yes, silly.” He whispered, realising his mistake before lunging and yelping. “Wait-wait no! It's not silly at all!” He called out, knocking over a tiny, ivory vase holding a snowdrop and spilling water over the piano. Gasping, he scrambled and accompanied Odelia in trying to clear up the mess he’d created with a haste he’d never had before. “I’m so sorry, Odelia!” He profusely apologised to the woman in front of him. 

  Odelia simply laughed, a sweet and welcome sound to him that made him more and more happy each and every time he heard it. It sounded like angels singing and reminded him of the joy of the first day of spring. With soft, careful hands, Odelia held out the snowdrop and placed it in his upper pocket, nothing but a soft smile playing on her lips at the intimate moment between them. 

  “What is this impropriety!” Mrs Gardiner yelled as she turned the corner, jolting Hugo and Odelia out of their intimate moment and back into a state of awkwardness and shock. “ You shouldn’t be alone together! Look, one minute till five and you two haven’t arrived at rehearsal so hurry up! The pastor is waiting!” she yelled. Hugo and Odelia silently shrugged to each other and followed the woman around the corner to the parlour room where everyone was waiting for them. 

  The parlour room was decorated with plenty of paintings and statues, yet was still just as monotone and depressing as the rest of the house. No matter where they went, nowhere had any colour. In the centre of the room sat three rows of chairs, four in each row with a makeshift aisle separating the pairs of chairs, with their family sat on either side. A table was a metre in front of these chairs, the pastor standing behind it with a lit candle and a golden chalice on top of a white tablecloth. Hugo sucked in a deep breath and sighed.

  This was going to be interesting.

--------------------------

  “Master Atkinson, go from the beginning. Again.”

    An exasperated sigh passed through his lips as the pastor repeated the vows for what felt like the fiftieth time. Three hours. Three hours later and Hugo STILL couldn’t get his vows right. They couldn’t blame him though. He was just...incredibly nervous and didn’t know what to do at all. The candle refused to light and his brain refused to register the words he was being told to repeat.

"With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.” The pastor uttered. Hugo’s eyes met Odelia’s, who gave him a sympathetic smile for his struggles. It’s not that he didn’t want to marry Odelia, he did, but he was just nervous to finally commit his entire life to a girl he’d had exactly one conversation with, which, by the way, was incredibly awkward and one of the only conversations he’d had with a woman in his life. 

  “Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.” His eyes then drifted to the Gardiners, whose faces looked more angry than anything else. He bet they already thought he was a disappointment of a son-in-law, and they’d be 100% right. He wasn’t really good at anything in most people’s eyes. 

  “With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.” Then he glanced at Donella, her face being covered by an abnormally bony arm as she shook her head in disappointment. Great. He could’ve handled disappointment from his in-laws but not from his own mother. Oh well, he’d be out of her hair soon anyway, married off to Odelia and having to live out his life with her. Oh joy. 

  “With this ring, I ask you to be mine. Lets try it again, shall we?” The pastor commented, looking at Hugo and, if looks could kill, Hugo would be a corpse husband. The man honestly looked like he was two more messed up vows away from choking him on the altar. Hugo shakily nodded, feigning a smile on his face before he held the waxy, white candle in his right hand and began to try and recite his vows. 

  “With this candle-” he exclaimed, holding the wick to the flame which, to his dismay and to the frustration of everyone else in the room, didn’t light. He kept trying, repeating the statement again and again. Why the hell wasn’t it lighting? What was even going on? He bit his lip and looked up at the pastor, confused and panicked.

  “Nevermind. Go from the steps.” The exasperated and clearly annoyed pastor finally said, seeming already completely fed up with the man in front of him. Hugo pondered for a second, holding out his hand for Odelia to take, which she did graciously. God, her hands were so warm somehow. They were like a weight tethering him into the room and keeping him there. She gave his hand a little reassuring squeeze, a small smile making its way onto his face. She was an absolute oxymoron of everything around them - he could get used to this. 

  “With this hand, I will-” He took one, two, three and four steps. Straight into the table. He stumbled forwards, quickly moving his hands to steady the chalice and the candle before they fell over the cloth. Why the hell was he messing up so badly? He wasn’t this nervous earlier so how was he doing so badly at remembering a few little vows?

  “Three steps! Three! Stop! Stop! Do you not wish to be married, Mr Atkinson?” The pastor finally bellowed, something inside of his snapping and lunging across the table. A red flush of anger covered his face as he glared at Hugo with murderous intent, the younger man feeling much much smaller and more afraid than he’d ever been in his life.  

  “No, no!” he yelled out in response , his hands rising to shield his face nervously as he bit his lip gently. 

  “You do not?” Odelia butted in, a deep frown on her face as she looked into Hugo’s eyes. Shit. That was…certainly not what he meant to say. He didn’t mean to upset her at all. 

  “No that’s not what I-I meant I don’t..not want to get married. That is..I really, really want to get married.” He gulped, his attention solely on Odelia in front of him, an awkward smile on his face as he bit the inside of his cheek. 

  “Pay attention! Have you remembered to bring the ring?”

  “Yes! Yes, the ring!” Hugo searched his pockets, his fingers finally brushing against the cold metal of the circular object. Swiftly, he brought out the plain band, holding it between his thumb and index finger. He must’ve held it too hard or his hands shook too much, since as soon as he brought out the little object, it flicked out of his fingers and fell to the floor. It rolled and rolled, much to the horror of everyone else. Gasps and screams filled the room as he lunged to get the ring and pick it up. 

  “Enough! This wedding can’t happen until he is properly prepared!” the pastor exclaimed, shoving his finger against Hugo’s chest, who shuffled back against the door in fear. He sucked in a breath as the pastor stepped even closer. “Young man, learn your vows.” He declared sternly, Hugo shakily nodding before rushing out of the room and running away as fast as he could from the house to the graveyard.

  Snow crushed under his feet as he crossed over the stone bridge, sighing and shivering. “It really shouldn’t be that difficult. It’s only a few simple vows.” he murmured under his breath as he trailed along the path to the graveyard, the trees becoming more and more looming over him and the light from the moon more and more obstructed by branches. “With this candle I will...I will…” he let out a tired sigh, “I will set your mother on fire. It’s no use.” he muttered as he took a seat on a fallen tree in a clearing, a hand-like branch sticking out of the ground in the middle, underneath a colossal tree. 

  A newfound confidence swept through him out of nowhere as he rose to his feet. “With this hand, I shall lift your sorrows!” he declared as he brought the ring out of his pocket, a grin quirking his lips. “Your cup will never empty, for I shall be your wine!” his voice grew in volume as he stepped around the clearing, shaking hands with the spindly branches of the spruce trees surrounding him on every side. “ With this candle, I will light your way in the darkness! And with this ring, I ask you to be mine.” he yelled as he slipped the ring onto one of the branches of the root sticking from the ground. 

  Wind howled around him for a second and, as he looked up, crows sat on the branches of trees surrounding him. Staring at him and cawing maniacally as soon as he’d slipped the ring onto the root. The root gripped his wrist, pulling it down into the ground with a forceful tug. Crows that were once perched on the winding branches of trees now flew and cawed around the clearing. Frantically, he tried to tug his hand free from the unrelenting grasp, falling back with a skeletal arm now attached to him. Hugo shook it away and the ground in front of him began to break away, a figure rising from the dirt. First its arms, then its head, then its body. 

  The man who had arisen wore a wedding suit, similar to his, however blue. He had raven hair that fell just to his shoulders, a cyan streak in between the locks that blended in with the light blue tint on his skin. The mystery ghoul seemed part skeletal too - little bits of his flesh and body torn away by decay, his ribcage clearly showing from under the suit he wore. The ghoul raised the veil that was partially covering his head, whispering two fateful words.

  “I do.”

  Hugo scurried back in shock as the man held a hand out towards him, scrambling to his feet and sprinting away as fast as his legs would carry him. Periodically he’d glance back, the figure always far too close to him. It was as though he couldn’t lose him, no matter how far or fast he’d thought he was running. In his haste, he ran into a tree, his body wracked in pain. This pain was soon to be ignored, however, as he turned his head to see the figure still gaining on him. He frantically pushed himself away and began to run again towards the bridge. Why did it feel so far away? He caught his jacket on various branches, causing rips and tears all over the custom made jacket. Donella was sure to kill him if this man didn’t. 

  His heart thudded in his chest as his feet made contact with the stone surface of the bridge, it clicking slightly under his shoes. Hugo turned on his heel to check for the figure as a murder of crows flew over his head. The forest, the church...nowhere showed any sign of the mystery man. It must’ve been his imagination. Hopefully.

  Hugo let out a breathy chuckle, taking a few steps backwards and turning. Turning to be face to face with the man he was running from. A scream almost passed through his lips as he frantically backed away into the bridge, his chest still heaving as the undead figure stepped towards him. “You may now kiss the bride.” the ghoul whispered, his hands resting on his shoulders and leaning in as crows circled and surrounded them.

  Everything faded to black.

[flipomatic]

Internship Chapter 19: Day 16 - Edric

Author Note: Happy new year everyone!

First Chapter Previous Chapter

_______________________________________________________

Once again, the dispatcher assigned Edric and Frederick to train for the day. They seemed to spend just over half of their days training.

Normally Edric would’ve been annoyed, though that was often true no matter what they were assigned to do, but today he was actually hoping to train.

His revenge was ready. All he had to do was wait for the right moment to strike. The next time Frederick swung a wood sword his way, he was in for a fun surprise.

Luckily, Frederick was still very interested in his progress with the sword. Once they got started with training, that was the first thing he wanted to work on.

“Don’t forget your stance.” Frederick reminded him, pushing up his elbow that always seemed to be too low.

Once he was satisfied, he started to swing at Edric’s guard.

That was what Edric had been waiting for. Using his free left hand, he drew an illusion spell circle in the air. It was a small one, since this was a small spell. It was high power over a small space, but it was about to make a big impact.

Right as Frederick was half way through his swing, a small illusion appeared under his leading foot. It didn’t lift and didn’t try to throw him off balance. All it did was make a few inches of the ground smooth, frictionless.

This had the intended effect. Frederick’s foot slid across the ground, bringing him crashing to the floor. He didn’t make a sound at the impact, didn’t even drop his sword. This wasn’t as funny as Edric thought it would be. Edric still had his sword up, just in case.

Fredrick popped up to his feet immediately, looking down at the ground to try and find what tripped him. He turned his head to search, but couldn’t find anything. That was because the illusion was invisible; Edric had made sure of it.

“How did you do that?” Frederick gave up searching and looked at Edric. He didn’t sound as irritated as Edric thought he’d be, no, he was still calm as usual.

Edric was smirking beneath his mask. “Just some illusion magic.” He said simply.

Now Frederick put his sword down. “Show me.” That was a surprise.

Edric let his sword drop as well, placing it on the ground. He lifted his hand to draw the spell circle. “Like this.” He cast the spell, once again removing the friction below Frederick’s foot. Since he was standing still, this only made him stumble slightly.

“That’s incredible.” Frederick was again looking at the ground, where his foot had slid from. “How does it work?”

He seemed so excited, which was unusual for him, that Edric didn’t have the heart to deny him. “It makes a small no friction space on the ground. If you put it in exactly the right spot, you can stop someone dead in their tracks.” It was also useful for sending objects rolling at high velocity, but Edric didn’t feel the need to mention that now.

“Why not use a larger area?” Frederick asked, likely thinking about trying to use it on an escaping suspect. He always seemed to be thinking about work.

Edric shook his head. “The more space you try to fill, the harder the spell is to cast. The size of a foot is pretty easy, but anything bigger gets more difficult.”

“I see.” Frederick mused, lifting his hand into casting position. He cast the spell circle very slowly, looking down at his own feet. He likely was trying to cast it on himself, rather than Edric.

When the circle was finished, Frederick was able to slide one of his feet around with less friction, but it wasn’t completely effective.

“This will be very useful.” Fredrick said as he brought down the spell. “Great thinking!”

This prank had not gone as expected at all. That wasn’t a bad thing though. It was almost flattering, seeing how excited Frederick was about this spell.

Frederick was trying to cast the spell again, while looking down at his feet. His second attempt was similar to his first. He dropped the spell with a slight shake of his head.

“What else are you hiding?” Frederick asked as he turned back to Edric, with a tone that was somewhere between playful and accusatory.

If he wanted to see more illusions, Edric had no problem showing them off. “More than you know. This one’s for invisibility.” Edric drew the spell circle for the base of the invisibility spell he used the prior week. “You have to layer it for the best effect, but it’s ok with just one spell.” The spell activated, turning Frederick invisible. He still had a noticeable heat shimmer and could be spotted by anyone who squinted in his direction.

“I remember this spell.” Frederick commented, still invisible. “You used it Friday, to make the guard disappear.”

“A version of it.” Edric replied as he dissipated the spell, which made Frederick reappear. “Layers make it harder to spot.”

“Hmm.” Frederick moved as if to try and cast it, but didn’t get through drawing the spell circle. He gave it another attempt with the same result. “It might be too challenging for me.” He said glumly. Edric was sure that he was frowning beneath that mask.

Edric shrugged; illusion magic came easily to him. It was the other types that he found difficult. “Just keep working on it, I guess.”

“Perhaps.” Frederick dropped his hand, seeming to give up for the time being. “These spells are certainly unconventional.” He spoke slowly, as if considering his words carefully.  “But I’m impressed.” This felt like a big admission.

“I can work on some new ones.” Edric smelled an opportunity. “For catching criminals. Though I guess I’ll have to give up those other spells.” He tried to sound both regretful and sincere, but seriously doubted how effective his attempt was.

“How about this.” Yup, Frederick wasn’t buying it. “You can create new illusion spells, but only if you put serious effort into learning that healing spell.” Oh right, the healing spell Edric had been avoiding.

It wasn’t a complete victory, but it was better than how things were before. “Deal.” Edric said, lifting a hand to shake on it. Frederick accepted the handshake without hesitation.

“Let’s work on that healing spell then.” Of course he wanted to do that.

Edric withheld a sigh. “Fine.”

Frederick cast a small plant spell, bringing up one of the roots they often used to practice healing. Edric cut a nick in it, used to this routine by now. He then cast the healing spell, which had a slightly improved effect.

Frederick commented that he was getting better, but not nearly fast enough. At this rate, he wouldn’t be even close to proficient with the spell by the end of his internship.

Edric was fine with that, but he had to keep working on the spell anyway. After all, he had never been able to find an illusion spell to replace it.

They practiced it for the next hour, with Edric making small amounts of progress. Near the end of the session, he was almost able to completely heal the root.

“That’s enough for now.” Frederick said after that final attempt. “Go work on your illusions, we’ll reconvene later.”

Finally, Edric could work on something he was good at instead of magic he literally couldn’t do. “Great.” He replied, not even sarcastically this time.

He then parted from Frederick, walking a decent distance away to work on his illusion spells.

There were all sorts of cool things he could do with them; he wasn’t sure where to start first.

Em had told him recently about some magic she was learning that used a shimmer screen to add color rather than mixing it in a base spell. That was an interesting idea. He wondered if it could be used to transpose images onto a wall, without them looking fake. It would be an easier spell than a high quality image, and also wouldn’t require layers if it worked.

So Edric started with that, testing a few different shimmer spells on one of the walls to see if he could make a convincing image with them. Unfortunately, that didn’t really work. They were too transparent to be believable, too hard to see. He could layer spells in, but that would defeat the purpose.

Next, he works on a cloning spell. Specifically, making a clone of himself. He already knew a spell to do this, but the clones it made were completely intangible. This meant that they looked good, but didn’t actually have a physical form. They were basically useless for any practical work.

Edric knew a spell for making physical ones too, with the downside that it took a lot larger spell circle and more energy to cast. It also required higher levels of focus to maintain, which could be bad in a high tension situation.

He got to work though, trying to find a balance between the two. The goal was illusion clones that could take a hit, while also not draining all of his magic.

He had barely noticed how much time had passed when Frederick called him to lunch.

Next Chapter

[red-dia]

hi! i've always loved your hnk panel redraws and recently i've been so inspired by them that i've tried my hand at coloring some panels too! if you don't mind me asking, do you have any tips?

oh i certainly do! some of these are a bit generic/art related but they’re definitely useful in this case too. I’m adding a read more because unfortunately it got a bit long but here you go:

1) Get to know your tools!

Since you weren’t very specific, I’ll assume you aren’t too familiar with art softwares (and if you are, you can just skip that part it’s not That deep). I’ll start with the basics; I know this is obvious, but please bear with me, because understanding how your program works WILL make you a lot more efficient.Here are quick descriptions of some features I think are very useful - I use Clip Studio Paint, but I believe most programs have equivalents. If you don’t know them, please experiment with them, they’ll come in handy!

- Locking transparency :

Locking the transparency of a layer means only the parts where something is already drawn can be modified. Basically, you can recolour something that already exists in a rather precise way.

This is very useful for gradients, which I’ll talk about a bit later.

- Clipping layers :

This gives the same result as locking a layer then drawing over it, but the difference is that you use more than 1 layer ; one as the bottom layer, defining the part of the canvas you can draw on, and the others, clipped on top, where you’ll draw. This can be more practical than locking transparency, because if you have a lot of details to add, doing everything on a single layer may make things more difficult.

I use this a lot when I shade, but just like gradients, I’ll bring that up later.

- Layer settings :

These options change the way the colours on a layer blend with the colours below. As an example, addglow is pretty good for colouring very bright light sources or for adding highlights on gems  :

Basically, using those isn’t a necessity, but they’re still pretty useful so I’d recommend experimenting with them whenever you feel like it!

- Magic Wand : 

Not the most complicated to use, but damn it’s really useful. It allows you to make selections based on the colours you’re targeting, so basically, if you need to colour an entire area a certain colour, you can just select it from the original panel, go on the layer where you’re colouring, and colour nothing but the part you selected. That’s about it!

There are lots of others, but these are the main ones you need to know about when you’re getting started. 

2) Colouring stuff

This is where it gets interesting! I guess! I’m not too good at just coming up with these kind of tips, so I’ll illustrate with some colouring, hopefully it’ll help you out?

I usually colour in 5 parts : 1) Preparing the panel(s), 2) Applying flat colours, 3) Adding gradients, 4) Adding shading, 5) Finalising with details.

I always prepare pages in the same way: first, I use the magic wand to select everything i do NOT want to colour ; the frames around the panels, the speech bubbles, the sfx, etc. Once they’re selected, I copy them, and paste them on a new layer. Then, I select the original layer, and turn it transparent so I can colour below while still keeping the lines. To do that, I go in Menu > Edit > Change brightness to opacity (in CSP at least, it depends on your program tho but most of them support this, I think!).

I end up with something like this : 

Two layers, one on the bottom with the semi-transparent page, and another on top, with everything that I don’t plan on touching. On the page on the right, you can get an idea of what it looks like when you add a layer below these 2 and draw on it.

Now that I’m done with the panel, I can start adding some (flat) colours. 

I think it’s a good idea to start with the background, because it’ll help you figure out the feeling you want to give the panel.

The airbrush is a pretty good tool for gradients btw, just make sure you use a brush that is big enough so the transition in colours looks natural.

Next, I add a new layer, and colour the shape of the characters (and here the vessel as well), so it stands out from the background. It’ll make colouring less complicated, since the lines will be clearer.

As you can see, I was kind of confident, so I directly added a gradient. The bottom of the panel is a bit “darker”, because I wanted the main light source to be the reflect on Phos’….. head thing?

Here’s something kind of important about your choice of colours : if you’re colouring an area that is already shaded in the original panel, I would recommend taking a colour that is more saturated than it should, or else the colour may end up looking dull because the original shading will make it darker.

Next, I do more flat colours. Nothing too fancy, and pretty much everything is on different layers. The clothes are left uncoloured because the background colour already fits, so it’s okay honestly

Then, I added some gradients using clip layers :

As a reference, I used some overlay layers for Dia’s hair, and some addglow layers for Phos’ alloy.

I mean it when I say gradients are important! They make your colouring feel more complete even when they’re barely visible. quickly coloured bortz for reference, assuming tumblr won’t compress the colours too much:

the bastard on the left has nothing but flat colours. They’re nice, but when you’ll have shaded everything, chances are it’ll look kind of …. i dunno, like something is missing? So yeah, gradients : good, though i would recommend you keep them in the same tone as the base colour. I’ll talk about this a bit more later if i don’t forget.

Ok! next: 

I felt like golden colours weren’t quite fitting the mood, so i added a layer with blue on top of it to make it colder. It’s at 40% transparency, so you can still see the colours behind well enough. Some parts were slightly erased because i liked the idea of these parts being lighter (you can see it a little bit around phos’ neck, or above dia’s knees : these parts are yellower than the rest of the pic)

I added some shading! Nothing too fancy. also not to sound like some gradient-freak but you can add some of those in shading as well, it’s usually a nice touch.

After than, I added some lightings, which are on a layer clipped on the original manga panel (so basically only the black parts of the original image changed colours, and the colouring work I did on the layers below wasn’t really affected, if that makes sense?)

The red lighting is the obvious one (it’s an airbrush, and i used an eraser to clear the part near Phos’ head so it looks like it’s coming from above/behind them and not from themself). 

There is another lighting at the bottom, which is grey/blueish, to contrast with the warm colours on the top of the pic. it also kind of looks like smoke but yeah

Now the panel is mostly done, and I’m starting the “details” part.

Something I find really bothersome in the manga is the *original* shading : while it’s always really good, colouring under it will leave some grid of pixels on top of your colours, so to counter that i just colour on top of the grid by colour picking and painting on a layer above the manga layer.

It’s a bit tedious but it has a texture that makes it look like a painting. The downside is that the colours can be altered since you’re colourpicking from something with an irregular pattern, but it can end up making your panel look less boring, honestly, it just depends on what you’re aiming for!

I end up with something like that : 

And then it’s just. Whatever man. I added a black border and some highlights, sparkles, etc, it’s the kind of things you do when you’re basically done. 

For the technical aspect, I’m not sure I have a lot more to add. If you want some advices for picking colours, tho…

3) General colour stuff :

These are just recommendations! Licherally these are mental notes i came up with ever since i’ve started colouring, so they’re kind of personal and if you don’t follow them you’ll be fine, i suppose. But so far they’ve been useful to me so consider them whenever you’ll be colouring something:

- Do not use pure white! Unless it’s for something CLEARLY meant to stand out, such as the frame of your pages, a speech bubble, sparkles, or a light source/something very shiny. If you’re just colouring something that is not meant to draw attention, use some other shade of white, but not the  #ffffff one if you see what i mean?

- Same about pure black, to be honest. 

The shades circled in red tend to look “emptier” than the ones circled in green (here the hue of the colour is yellow but it works with most colours). It doesn’t mean you can’t use it, just, use it sparingly or it may make things look dull I think? I would recommend trying a few shades before taking a decision.

- Sometimes adding highlights where the shading starts can make the transition look smoother: 

- Even if a panel is already shaded in the original page, I would recommend shading it again, because the manga shading is a black shading and shading a coloured drawing with black usually doesn’t look that good. (hence why i said something about using saturated colours in shading earlier).

- Even if a panel isn’t shaded in the original page, consider shading it anyways, even if it’s just a very light shading. It’s worth it :o)

I’m running out of things to say oh well

[frstbiitten]

Icon Tutorial (for beginners)

As I mentioned earlier, I’m here bringing a simple icon tutorial for beginners who are just starting using Photoshop but also this tutorial will cover 3 different icon styles:

Simple

Colored icon (with PSD):

And circle icon:

What do you need for this tutorial?

Photoshop (the version I’m using is CS6 but it works with any version as well

Patience (don’t worry, your icons will look amazing after

Screencaps

Optional: a PSD file in case you want your icons to have a different color.

SIMPLE ICON

First thing first! We’ve to open our screencap of what we want to make an icon from:

So to start with it, we’re going to use the Crop Tool by simply pressing ‘C’, and this is how it’s going to look like first:

You can set the dimensions of the Crop Tool after or meanwhile you’re cropping your screencap, since this time we’re making 100x100 icons, we’re going to input here ‘1′ and ‘1′ but if you want your icons to be rectangular you can input any other numbers you wish to.

Since we’re making 100x100 square icons, the picture initially might be bigger than what we want, so we’re going to change the size of the image to make it smaller by simply going to Image > Image Size

Initially, a window like we see on the left will pop up in front of use with the original dimensions of the cropped image, as you can notice is quite bigger than what we want. So we’re going to input the size we want, 100x100, 150x150, 50x50, there are many options to go for.

TIP: don’t resize the image by yourself with CTRL+T, trust me, it is easier to do it this way or otherwise, your icon won’t look good.

SECOND TIP: this is a lifesaver that will make your icons look nitid, after you change the size of the image, use the sharpening tool in the Filter window; Filter >Sharpen, you can sharpen your image as much as you wish, I recommend to do it just once, twice in case the image is not pretty nitid.

ICON WITH PSD:

So to make your icons have a different look you can go for PSDs, you can find a wide range of PSDs both here in different resource blogs or even Deviantart, also you can do your own PSD. In this case, I’m going to use a PSD that I made for myself that makes the blue and the green stand out more and makes the images slightly more vibrant.

And our workplace is going to look like this.

The next step is to simply drag the group file from their original document to our icon, and our newmade icon will have a different coloring style than it was before:

TIP: like I mentioned, there is a VAST variety of PSDs out there, the important thing here is to find the right PSD that makes you feel good to use in your blog, I recommend to experiment as much as you want (but always give credit to the creators)

SECOND TIP: PSDs will change the colors of your icon, some will simply add a little tone or will saturate the image a lot, there are no limits. However, I recommend using fitting PSDs when it comes to POC character/faceclaims, whitewashing the skin tone can not only be perceived as wrong but will also make your icons look strange (strange in a weird way, not strange in an artsy way).

CIRCLE ICON

In the RPC you’ll find many, but MANY styles of icons, square icons are the most popular but also the simpler to make and is not so different from making a rectangular icon. There are blogs that use circle icons which are a great option to go for if you feel more fond of this style. There are many ways to make circle icons so I’m going to tell how I did mine, this style requires to make or find a layout, if you feel like it you can make your own layout. What you need is to open a new canvas (I recommend to pick bigger dimensions than the ones you’re using for the icon: for example, in this case, the dimensions of the new file are 500x500) and what we’re going to do next is to select the Elliptical Marquee Tool:

Once we select it, we’re going to use it to make a circle while holding SHIFT so it looks like a perfect icon (but don’t forget to add another layer to your canvas since we’re going to use the Paint Bucket Tool after). What we’re going to see is an area of our canvas and with the color that we want, we’ll use the Paint Bucket Tool by pressing ‘G’ and fill the selected area (I insist: do it in a new layer), so the final result is going to be this:

So... what’s next?

What’ you’re going to do is to reselect the are if the selection lines have vanished around the circle by going to Select>Reselect, once you have the selected area, use the Crop Tool and automatically will form a square around your circle, this step is vital if you want for you circle to be perfectly CENTERED. What comes next is to simply resize the image, considering the dimensions of our icon, the new size will also match with the icon’s size, and once we have the final product, we will drag our circle to where we’ve our icon.

Our icon will look like this, so what we’re going to do now is to use the Quick Selection Tool by pressing ‘W’ and paint the new layer in which we have our circle, you’ll see that is now selected, so what we’re going to do next is the invert the area selected by going to Select>Inverse

Select the layer in which you have the image you’re using for your icon, press SUPR or DELETE in your keyboard and the area that is inside of the selection will disappear. Now what is left to do is simply delete the layer which has the circle and finally save your new icon.

And voila! A perfect circle icon for you to use in your threads!

TIP: please save circle icons and icons with transparencies as .PNG files, if you save it as a .JPEG file not only will change the quality of your icon but will automatically refill the transparent areas with white.

SECOND TIP: this technique can also be used if you want your icon to have a different shape that is neither a circle or any other geometrical shape, you can use vectors if you want for your icons to look unique (like, maybe you want your icons to have the shape of a flower, so you can find tons of vectors with different shapes that you can use for).

[rutilation]

hi I have some theories about the Problematic Rock

In my essay for chapter 82, I said that I had settled on a theory of What The Deal Is With Cairngorm.  My thoughts on the subject are a bit all over the place, so in the hope of presenting things in a coherent manner, I’ve laid out my thought process from the past eleven months or so in roughly chronological order, beginning with the nitpick that started it all.  Welcome to my twisted mind, and all that.

For the most part, the way the series applies fantasy concepts to actual geology has been fairly sound.  For example, tourmaline generates an electric charge when heated, so Melon radiates electricity when upset.  Cinnabar the rock often comes out of the ground covered in native mercury, so Cinnabar the character is surrounded by magical floating mercury.  Alexandrite turns red or purple in incandescent light, so the light the Lunarians give off changes Alex’s color and gives them a mood swing to boot.  It’s exaggerated and fantastical, but it’s nonetheless grounded in some nugget of geology trivia which one might find on the back of a Snapple cap.  But, Ghost and Cairn’s condition in the story does not line up with how phantom crystals work, even within the science-fantasy framework we’ve got going here.  At first, I just filed it away next to other inaccuracies such as Antarc shouldn’t be able to trudge through snow without dissolving in a puddle of their own brine, much less dive into the ocean unscathed.  However, if my theory(s) is correct, then this apparent lapse in the internal logic of the story might have in fact been deliberate foreshadowing.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

First, some context. Phantom crystals form by way of two distinct but related processes:

During a crystal’s formation out of a solution, its growth is temporarily halted for one of any number of reasons.  During this time, dust falls onto the surface of the crystal.  As the crystal begins growing again, these tiny debris become trapped within, and if the rest of the crystal is sufficiently transparent, the included material appears from the outside as the outline of a crystal within a crystal.

The other process to which this term applies involves color zoning, and is a bit easier to explain.  During a crystal’s formation, the chemicals that make up the solution change slightly, and these impurities cause one part of the crystal to become a different color from another part.  If the color zoning is concentric, and the different colors in question are visible from outside the crystal, it can be labeled a phantom crystal.  Ghost and Cairn appear to be this second type.

So here’s what I’m getting at: a phantom crystal is not two separate crystals, in much the same way that the rings in a tree trunk aren’t a bunch of separate trees.  Therefore, it doesn’t make sense for Ghost and Cairngorm to be two separate people, and if they are actually intended to be examples of this phenomenon, it raises some questions.  For one thing, watermelon tourmaline forms via the exact same process of concentric color zoning I described in example number two; since you usually can’t see the pinkish part from outside of the green layer of crystal, it’s not often labeled a phantom crystal, but it’s the same phenomenon nonetheless.  So, why is it that Cairn and Ghost are two different people, but the green and red parts of Melon aren’t?  For that matter, why aren’t the two halves of Euclase two separate people? There’s certainly more of colorless-Euclase than there is of Ghost.  If mere color zoning were enough, then why are Ghost and Cairn the only examples of highly-conjoined-twins amongst the cast?  Unless of course, we weren’t given an accurate picture of how these two came to be, and there’s something fishy going on.

Of course, whether or not this little contradiction is actually meaningful wholly depends on if Ichikawa was even aware of the distinction as she was writing.  As I recall she once said in an interview that she wasn’t very familiar with geology in the first place before she started writing hnk.  But, like I said at the beginning of this essay, this is what got me started down the rabbit hole.  From this observation arose two different trains of thought.   One came to me pretty quickly, but the other took a few months to materialize.

The first idea that popped into my head when I realized that this inaccuracy could have been deliberate was that Ghost and Cairngorm might not be separate people, and there was some split-personality shenanigans going on.  I’ll quickly list the things I think this theory has going for it with some bullet points.

Remember that one time, when Cairngorm referred to Ghost as their “former self?”  And that other time, in the official translation of volume 6, when they referred to Ghost as their “other half?”  That is rather curious terminology for referring to one’s sibling.

That one time in chapter 39, where Cairn repeated Ghost’s sentiment about being “tired of praying” verbatim, and the composition of the panels seemingly called attention to it.

It would serve to explain a certain contradiction in Cairn’s personality: despite their aggressive—and at times violent—demeanor, they nonetheless act like a total doormat in all the ways that really matter.  They live their life according to someone else’s wishes, they’re quick to pass off decision making to others, and they fold under pressure pretty easily.  What if Cairngorm is, in fact, Ghost’s idea of what being assertive is like, without any understanding of what it means to actually be independent or confident? 

A common critique of the story is that Ghost’s character was rather perfunctory, and their death felt like a second-rate retread of Antarc’s fate.  Well, if Cairn and Ghost are the same person, then they weren’t actually unceremoniously dropped from the story after all.  Come to think of it, right before they were supposedly taken, Ghost said they wanted to change; what if they actually did?

As many of you have noticed, Ghost is one of the few characters who isn’t ProblematiqueTM .  Doubtlessly, Ichikawa now regrets killing them off before they could do something kinda nasty.  Even Antarc got the chance to cluelessly trample over Phos’s self-esteem before getting turned into road salt.  But, if it were revealed that Ghost was actually the same character as creamed corn, then Ichikawa could drag their good name through the mud with one fell swoop.  (I’m just trying to think from her perspective, guys!  Her cruel, sadistic perspective…)

But ultimately, when I got around to wondering why on earth they would have a split personality in the first place, I found that this line of inquiry raised more questions than answers.  Unlike my second theory, which mostly just raises answers.

(I know I just dumped a big tinfoil hat at my readers’ feet like a cat gifting its owner a decapitated bird, but please keep bearing with me, I’m not even halfway done.)

The idea that I’ve found to be the most fruitful came in the weeks following chapter 75.  I’ve brought up this line from Aechmea multiple times (probably to the point of redundancy,) because it’s the biggest hint we’ve gotten so far that there’s some Cairn-related context we’re not yet privy to.  And the more the narrative keeps reminding us of it—usually by way of Cairngorm bringing it up with varying levels of anxiety—the more it seems to be alluding to something important.  So I got to thinking that whatever my little plot twist was, it would have to account for Aechmea’s cryptic bullshit.  I put forward a couple preliminary ideas in my essay for chapter 75, but I’ve since discarded those in favor of my second theory.

So, somehow Aechmea knew Cairngorm before they came to the moon, and neither Cairngorm, (nor Ghost for that matter,) remembers meeting him.  When I tried to think of how this could be possible, while also keeping in mind my little bugbear about phantom crystals, I developed a theory that’s much more pedestrian by the standards of the hnk fandom.  I am of course, talking about the mysterious artificial gem experiments that the Lunarians conducted.  That sure is a plot element which has been left dangling, huh?  And since no one, least of all myself, believes Stinkmea when he claims that the experiments were a complete failure, it has been a favored pastime of people who write walls of text to speculate on who amongst the cast might have been planted on earth by the Lunarians; e.g. Obsidian, Antarc, new Morga and Goshe… I imagine someone at some point has even postulated that Phos themselves is from the moon.  But, if you pay close attention to how Aechmea, and later, Barbata describe the process by which they attempted to create artificial gems, it lines up strikingly well with what we know about Ghost and Cairngorm, and it also serves to explain the geological inaccuracy I was talking about earlier.

Aechmea describes how the Lunarians tried to create their own gems by grafting pieces of gems they had captured from earth onto artificial bodies, and that they were dumped on earth before being retrieved after they showed no signs of life.  Barbata also mentions it later, in more oblique terms.  He’s speaking vaguely, but his warning to Phos feels a bit odd in its specificity. The use of the phrase “emotionally delicate” also raises my eyebrows a bit.  I may be reading too much into this, but I feel that his hypothetical example is less hypothetical than he’s letting on.  Perhaps, he is in fact referring to a certain someone in particular, who is emotionally fragile, and subsequently lost their sense of self after being subjected to this experiment.  Hmmm…

So here’s what I think went down: once upon a time, probably before the current generation of gems had been born, there was a gem on earth who was just plain old colorless Quartz. I’m going to call them OG!Quartz.  One day, OG!Quartz is captured by the Lunarians, and Aechmea uses them for his little gem experiment, probably with Barbata being the one to carry it out.  He shaves off the outermost layer of OG!Quartz and discards the rest of them. Then, he grafts those pieces onto an artificial body made of black Quartz.  The inclusions from OG!Quartz permeate into the artificial material, and thus Cairngorm is born.  The Lunarians subsequently dump them on earth, at which point Kongou, who may or may not realize what’s going on, picks them up and names them Ghost Quartz, despite the fact that they didn’t come about via that process.

This would explain a lot of things.  If so little of OG!Quartz was used to make Ghost Quartz, they would likely be unable to remember their previous life, or the ensuing events on the moon, for that matter.  And since Cairngorm would be a newborn at the time, they wouldn’t be able to remember Aechmea either, thus solving the riddle of how Aechmea knew Cairngorm before they came the moon.

It would also clue us in to what Aechmea meant by love, why he was quick to swoop in and take advantage of Cairn, and why he kept Cairn’s original arm around.  If they were the one success after a series of failed experiments, it’s possible that Aechmea feels a sense of ownership over Cairn, as if they’re his accomplishment.  (Yikes.)

It would also explain another thing that has stuck in mind.  The way Ghost was taken was kind of weird, wasn’t it?  At the time, the Lunarians were being oddly particular about nabbing Ghost instead of Cairn.  Usually, the Lunarians try to shatter the gems and be done with it, not shave a bunch of little pieces off the outside.  Furthermore, Cairngorm was thoroughly wrecked by the end of that fight.  The Lunarians could have easily grabbed them both and gotten away before help could arrive, but instead, they pushed Cairn off of the vessel and only took Ghost.  If we assume though that Ghost and Cairn are the result of one of those gem experiments, the Lunarians actions during that battle start to make sense.  Perhaps the Lunarians wanted to see if Cairngorm was alive in their own right, or if the pieces of Ghost were just dragging the rest of the body around.  They wouldn’t be able to tell the difference from their distant vantage point.  So, they nabbed Ghost and intentionally left Cairn behind in order to further observe their experiment.  

(I should point out that when I say “the Lunarians,” assume I’m referring to Aechmea, Barbata, and perhaps a handful of other unnamed extras.  Aechmea probably doles out knowledge of his obtuse schemes on a need-to-know basis, and I doubt people like Cicada, or Quieta, or Goshe’s gnarly skater friends know anything about this.)

Going back to this page, Cairn’s expression has stuck in my mind.  They’re trembling, and have a fearful look on their face.  By all accounts, even if what Aechmea just said was confusing, it should still be something Cairn would be happy to hear.  But their immediate reaction is one of understated horror.  It’s almost as if they intuited that there was something very wrong with that statement, even if they can’t put their finger on why. This leads us into another question that’s been on my mind which this theory might serve to explain.

In my very first essay about Caringorm, I ran into a bit of a wall when trying to figure out why Cairngorm’s personality is the way it is.  I figured at the time that Cairngorm’s issues arose from having no agency for most of their life, and that their relationship with Ghost was perhaps much less amicable than we were lead to believe.  And while it’s hard to argue that being a prisoner in their own body for most of their life hasn’t messed them up, I don’t think that’s the only thing going on here.  Furthermore, as far as Cairn’s relationship with Ghost was concerned, we haven’t heard anything about it since, which leads me to believe that it’s not where the trouble lies.  While I still stand by most of what I said in that essay—particularly about how Cairn’s dependency complex compels them to treat themselves as a vehicle for someone else’s desires—there’s a major aspect to all of this that I overlooked at the time.  During their brief tenure in the series, Ghost exhibited a lot of the same issues that Cairngorm does now.

The way they talked about living life following Lapis’s orders—as if they were Lapis’s lackey rather than their partner, the way they latched onto Phos so strongly after they showed them the barest hint of interest, their abysmal self-esteem… It all seems eerily similar to Cairn’s issues, even if it manifested in a more muted fashion.  So, why is it that Ghost exhibited some of Cairngorm’s maladaptive coping mechanisms, despite the fact that Cairn should have been the only one of the two who needed to develop them in the first place?

I haven’t exactly put too fine a point on it since I don’t live with the condition myself, and thus don’t want to risk putting my foot in my mouth, but I can’t really elucidate on this in a concise manner while dancing around the subject.  Ever since chapter 68, I’ve been looking at Cairngorm through the lens of borderline personality disorder.  Since they seem to check more and more boxes off the symptom list with each new chapter, I think it’s a useful lens through which to view them, whether or not it’s one that Ichikawa had in mind.  But, BPD generally arises from trauma, to the extent that many psychologists see it as an alternate manifestation of PTSD.  So, for the longest time, I’ve wondered how it was that Cairn and Ghost ended up the way they did.  There’s no clear answer in the narrative at this point.

This brings us to what Barbata alluded to, that the process of trying to create an artificial gem was damaging to the minds of the those who were subjected to it.  If Ghost and Cairn were (re)born as the result of something terrible, something that destroyed their sense of self, it might explain why they both have mental issues that are indicative of past trauma, despite those issues not having any obvious source.  The only other possible source of trauma I can come up with is that the relationship the two of them had with Lapis might have been an abusive one.  But if that were the case, then there should have been some buildup for it in the chapters following 67.  And while Lapis and Ghost have barely been mentioned in the interim, there’s been a whole lot of incremental reminders that Aechmea’s a shady bastard who’s hiding something from Cairn.  Where there’s smoke, there’s probably a fire.

Well, that’s about it.  Thanks for sticking with this to the end; hopefully, I didn’t make too many flagrant leaps in logic.  Ichikawa, if you would be so kind as to confirm my theories, and also let Phos peacefully live out the rest of their days with their snail friends, I would really appreciate it.  See you all in the essay for chapter 83.