#it was sooo good. absolutely sickening

[mmetacarpals]

just finished the ministry of time. feeling ill

[swordmaid]

the yves/orin dynamic I hc is so hhhhhjjmyhhhhhhdhdghh scrumptious to me bc yves was orin’s biggest tormentor. yves constantly berated orin and thought she was useless, and she made her grievance known. like yves constantly preaching abt how orin is so useless and worthless and the only thing that’s significant to her is the blood in her veins and unlike her, she will never gain bhaal’s favour and she’s always going to be a mongrel chasing her heel for a sliver of recognition…! and the fact that yves - besides being bhaal’s bride and chosen - was one of the head priestess of His church meant that she influenced others to think similarly too. orin was also one of the constant victims of yves’ nasty tantrums and when she’s feeling particularly curious and she wants to see how a shapeshifter’s inner organs work mid shifting orin is the first one she takes to experiment on. like yves in her dead three was SO nasty and horrible and her cruelty is so deliberate and calculated. unlike her god yves was not reckless nor chaotic, rather, she was very meticulous and executed everything she did with precision hence why I think she worked well with gortash bc she isn’t unpredictable like orin.

but anyway, yves being so horrible and nasty to orin so when orin FINALLY managed to stage her little coup, it is a very satisfying and vindicating moment. now she gets to see the woman who made her life living hell kneel and break open like an egg, and she WILL watch with a smile in her face. now she has a chance to prove her worth, and to show everyone that yves was wrong abt everything and she IS bhaal’s chosen, and i think yves would actually be proud of her for finally standing up for herself lol.

but then orin makes the fatal mistake of not killing yves 😔

[lucvly]

— boyfriend headcannons with matt. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙

warnings: the usual !! sfw and nsfw parts. not proofread my bad.

a/n: i love reqs helppp 😣 working on another one which actually involves writing as we Speak !! i had to reupload this because i forgot tags SORRY anon 💔

— this man is obsessed with you. literally doesn’t even find any other women attractive. he has the biggest heart eyes for you it’s insane.

— adores hyping you up on instagram. he’s the type to reply “alr i saw it you can take it down now !!” when you post a story. your posts are filled with comments from him.

— he’s an absolute sucker for grand gestures. asked you to be his girlfriend by decorating your room with balloons !! goes all out on your anniversary (buys you a dress, gets you new jewelry, etc.)

— loves to color coordinate with you. whenever you two are going out or just seeing each other he calls you to match outfits. he thinks it’s the cutest (+ chris and nick tease him sooo bad for it)

— always gets you your go-to drinks. you’ll mention an iced latte once and he’s getting one for you every single day !! he’s so cute bye

— secretly loves it when you take pictures of him like a soccer mom LMAOO. he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. you love taking pictures of him doing literally anything: driving, doing laundry, etc.

— loves sleeping on call with you. he absolutely adores hearing you rant about your day. + sleeping on call together him while he’s on tour and misses you so badly !! half of the call is just him complaining about how much he wishes he could see your face and kiss you.

— he may whine about how you’re stealing all his clothes and hoodies but secretly loves watching you in them.

— him driving is sooo attractive. he’s such a gentleman ughhh. this man will get out of the car and open the door for you, leans over and buckles your seatbelt, + always has his hand on your thigh.

— always kissing you. forehead kisses, neck kisses, cheek kisses, etc.

— soo good at comforting and reassuring you. he’s such a sweetheart it’s sickening !!!

— your personal driver. it’s 3 am and you wanna go out? call him and he’ll be there in 5. you’re drunk at a party and need a ride? your boyfriend’s there.

— replies to your texts at lightning speed it’s sooo embarrassing but cute !!

— updates you on everything that happens throughout his day.

— nsfw below!

— anytime you kiss him it ends up in a heated ass make out session. your hands softly pulling on his hair, his hands gripping your waist as you ever so slightly grind on his hardening cock !! lollll !!

— he leans more towards the gentler side in bed. cute pet names, makes it All about you and your pleasure– (though he loves it when you give him head).

— howeverrrr, he can definitely get mean during sex. i’m talking manhandling, shoving your face into the pillow, dirty talk. (“too big— i can’t–,” “i don’t care, you can take it. i’ll make it fit.”)

— loves it when you overstimulate him. it’s his favorite thing ever. have fun watching him squirm, hearing him moan and whimper your name.

— begs you to sit on his lap. he adores it. stroking your hair, kissing your neck, his hands on your waist as he tries his hardest to not grind his hips up or simply just fuck you senseless.

— he’s vocal. whimpering out loud, begging, groaning, grunting. all of it.

— extremely good at aftercare. he’ll immediately clean you up, get a bottle of water for you, cuddle, talk, anything you want and he’s completely at your service.

— he’s such a secret pervert !!! cannot see you in a skirt because he’s already hard. showing a bit of cleavage? hard. sees you in a bathing suit? it is over for him. he needs you.

— cockwarming him while he’s gaming <333. he’s all for it. one time you two made a bet that consisted on making the other crack first. spoiler alert: you ended up with your moans being muffled by a pillow because you just couldn’t let him finish his game, could you?

[sminiac]

Hear me out…Junmin and Jinsik with a daddy kink, but for differing reasons.

In Junmin’s case, being the switch I believe him to be, his daddy kink is a telltale way for you to know when he’s in a dominate mood. Very much so uses it as an ego boost, he revels in feeling bigger than you in a sexual setting, in being the one in control—especially when it’s you domming him so many days. Loves to watch you squirm, hands desperately clawing at his arms as he pounds his cock into you at an inhumane speed, whiny pleas of “daddy, too much.” falling quietly on his ears. Big fan of calling you “babygirl” too, like 😮‍💨 Will say it with the dirtiest, most toe curling, most panty soaking thing you’ve ever heard in your life.

Now for Jinsik, his reasoning is on the entirely other side of the spectrum. From one of their recent Hello82 videos, we’ve learned that he’s great with kids, literally the sweetest most gentle man ever I almost bawled. For him, being called “daddy” is less of a sexual thing and more a way to fuel his fantasy of fatherdom, so rarely is it used in a bedroom setting. But always, always in private. He would die of embarrassment if the members knew you call him “daddy” casually, even if it’s done in the least weird way possible; the title just makes him feel so fluffy and giddy and warm inside. Strikes me as the type to want commitment, to fall in love fast and deep, to not waste time getting into the topic of having kids because he’s just that passionate about wanting a family, so the kink naturally progressed for him.

— ☁️

HEARING YOU LOUD AND CLEAR. I AM SPIRALING.

I haven’t thought about Switch!Junmin that much, maybe a passing thought here and there but this, this is definitely going to stir up my mental image of him now.

When he’s subbing for you I’d imagine there’s moments of coherence where he’s crying, or completely at your hand and saves that as ammunition for when he’s domming, I agree that he’s not taking on the role in bed frequently, so he’s really patient until the time comes where he’s in charge. Incredibly vigilant about it too, sneaky guy, returns the energy back to you tenfold that it’s almost surprising.

Scratching at his arms has to be a weak spot,, but also so revitalizing ?? like he’d be so focused on the way your hands move at his skin, your nails dragging and squeezing, especially if they’re on the smaller side because the image of your fingers barely able to latch firmly onto his biceps or shoulders has him licking at his lips, briefly gathering what’s left of his energy and completely pouring it into fucking you.

Dom!Junmin is sooo sickening, he’s demanding with his actions which stems from his like of “feeling bigger than you” but gentle— maybe even slightly teasing with his mouth. Loves getting down real close to your face while he’s got your legs pinned back as far as you can, slow yet heavy with his strokes kissing you wetly between his words, asking: “Feels good, yeah? No, you can handle this sweet girl, need proof? look, watch with me.”

AIR. I NEED AIR. TOUCHING GRASS, EATING IT.

Anyways, as for Jinsik there’s absolutely gotta be a breeding kink there, right ???? That comes in hand with his dream of being a dad, right ?????

There’s no way he’s cumming just from simply being called ‘daddy’ while having sex, but now hear me out. Being descriptive yet not too detailed about your future together, but stating that you want exactly as he does, to have a family, to being committed to him entirely, that no one else could possibly have you, not in this lifetime or any other. Now that’s what undeniably has him cumming every single time, especially if you’re right in his ear, or the eye contact is actually suffocating.

Feeling at his features, telling him the ones of his that you want your kid(s) to have, he’ll start crying sometimes too let’s be real.

[iminthetunnels]

what hurts the most is my son asking questions about it. he’s sooo smart. he’s like a grown adult to me and i don’t know how to explain it. i let myself feel, and if i cry, he’ll come up to me saying “in thru ur nose, out thru ur mouth mommy, take deep breaths mommy. think and calm down mommy” because this is how i calm him down. “so he’s not coming home from work?” “he’s not on a walk?” it blows my mind how people can invest themselves in your life. i told this person not to traumatize my son. traumatize me that’s fine. i can do it that’s fine. my son has already been thru so much heartbreak. he was doing SO GOOD ! with another person in our lives. and i thanked him daily for it. he had to of known. i cannot stand liars, fakes, fraud, just selfish nasty people. i will never understand. the lengths i went to show this person hospitality, love, care, and adjust, stand up for him !!! umm!!!!!!! u can love people to death and be open and honest, they will still leave u!! “yeah everyone can” well that’s absolutely abysmal and sickening. absolutely disgusting. i can’t even look back at our memories with thinking about my son. can’t believe i was looking at wedding bands with someone. just for them to SO EASILY be overwhelmed with current situation. my son going to a cancer center, being told he’s disabled. i’m overwhelmed. and i am met with complete lack of awareness or respect. these men do not and will not care about you. i sat here like an idiot thinking it was different. that this person will move mountains for my son and i. just like i would and did for them. what is that!!! please god release me from evil i cannot handle the way people demonically speak or act “me me me” selfishness is evil. think with your own head, think with your own thoughts, there’s NOTHING more important than self awareness and ability to love.

[lumiereandcogsworth]

and AND okay I saw your screenshots of Maurice and Belle hugging in his castle and it got me wondering, if HE had stayed there, do you think the curse could've been broken? like obviously it might've taken more time for either of them to start liking the other but do you think a fatherly bond could break the curse or do you think adam would just reject him because "gross, fathers 🤮" and keep him locked up/ignore him?

GOSH THIS IS SOOOO INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!! buckle up because i basically wrote the plot of how this goes down and it’s epic >:)

i do love their bond so much. like post-curse? they’re so precious to me. adam is so nervous around him (for so much longer than he needs to be sjdksj) and was so deeply apologetic and respectful and like. gosh i mean how do you justify “i know i imprisoned both you and your daughter and definitely made you think i’d kill you both but can i please date and possibly marry her now? 👉👈” it’s CRAZY. but of course they get well acquainted, much with belle’s help, to the point of being THE sweetest father- and son-in-law you’ve literally ever seen.

BUT WHAT IF THEY JUST ENDED UP KIND OF STUCK WITH EACH OTHER??? sooo interesting. i definitely agree that yeah, adam would absolutely ignore him for a good long while. not even the servants would consider maurice to be an option for breaking the curse (i mean, they know adam is into men too, but they just Don’t Think maurice is his type🤔) but they do still break him out and bring him to a bedroom i think. because they’re KIND and he’s a sickly old man and i think they were legit worried he would die (and if he stayed in that dungeon? he definitely would have.)

i also don’t think anyone would try to force them to have dinner together at first. they’d make sure maurice ate but probably kept him in his room just kinda like “i guess we’ll just take care of him now !!!!!”

adam & maurice probably first interacted when maurice was feeling better. they warned him not to go near the master since he wasn’t Super Happy they moved him from the dungeon to the bedroom, but that he could go walk around if he so chose. so maurice would go on short wanderings around the castle. maybe he’d find the library (and think “GOSH i wish belle could see this”) and adam would happen to walk by and SCREAM at him asking WHY is he here??? GET OUT!!!! and maurice would go very quickly back to his bedroom😳

i think it would take a lot of convincing/wearing down from lumiere and the gang being like “no he’s actually a really nice man! and HEY… maybe if you befriend him… and his daughter returns… maybe something could happen !! ;)” and adam’s like “that’s literally ridiculous. first of all this man is old and dirty and A THIEF? a CRIMINAL? second of all his daughter seems just as foolish and will probably never come back for him. why would she bother?” and they’re like “we’ve been talking to him though and i think he and his daughter… Love Each Other … ?” and adam’s like. that’s sickening. goodbye.

anyway long story short it would definitely take a WHILE. the servants keep telling adam little things about maurice, or he just overhears them talking about him, or to him, and then… perhaps one day, adam finds maurice in the portraits hall. and adam usually never goes in there but he sees him through the open doorway and he’s like 🤨 and begrudgingly goes in. and maurice is like 😳 at first but notices adam doesn’t seem As Angry. and also isn’t Stomping after him. just sort of coming over. and adam keeps his distance and says “what are you doing here” and maurice is like “my apologies… i was just admiring all these portraits! i’m an artist, you see” and adam’s like >:/ (doesn’t know how to hold a conversation) and it’s very awkward and weird. maurice tries to ask a couple questions about the artists of the portraits but adam doesn’t really have much insight. but maurice doesn’t mind this, he starts rambling about his own artistic background, the portraits he’s done, all this stuff. and adam’s just like. okay👍 and essentially leaves.

but that’s the first shift into realizing that maybe maurice isn’t scum of the earth? maybe he’s a kind man? and something shifts in adam because he’s obviously always unconsciously longed for a good father figure, so i think he starts very slowly being drawn to conversations with maurice. even if he has nothing to contribute, just likes listening to this kind man share his stories, somehow sprinkling life advice into it (as dads always do) and that kind of thing. slowly but surely, adam very slightly starts opening up, until eventually they’re having actual conversations. they go on walks, they talk about art, and paris, and horses, and books. maurice talks about his daughter all the time too.

all the while, adam (and the servants!) have this hope that if adam & maurice can just get close enough, and if belle is able to return somehow, (i cannot even fathom the plot reason for why she can’t come back quickly but i’m gonna chock it up to the Castle Time Zone situation. it feels a lot longer here than it is lol), anyway, if belle is able to return somehow, maybe maurice will endorse their courtship, since he seems to have taken a liking to the peculiar beast. it all feels impossible of course, but that’s the hope.

time (castle time) continues to pass, adam and maurice become so deeply acquainted with each other. adam is almost entirely unafraid to share deeper thoughts with maurice, he really learns to trust him, to care about him. somewhere inside… he maybe begins to love him.

and maurice?? oh he’s definitely learned to love this lad. like 100% he adores adam. he grows to have such a fondness for him, i think it even crosses his mind that “in another life” he’d be a suitable partner for his daughter. but he knows they’ll have to get acquainted and be friends, at the very least. but yeah, there’s definitely love in his heart for adam. they were always meant to have this father-son bond!!!😭

i think it would be so sweet if it just happened so randomly. if adam and maurice were sitting and chatting in the library one night. their topic of conversation had taken a slightly more serious route, and adam shares some kind of insecurity about never really having been loved… not since his mother died. and maurice just smiles sadly and puts a hand on his big shoulder and says “oh, dear lad! but i love you!” and adam’s just like :”0 and it’s in that moment that he realizes, For Sure, that he loves maurice too. his heart is fully unlocked, and love is found there. and in that moment, THE BOY STARTS GLOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

crazy wild and shocking. maurice stands and jumps back, scared that something BAD is happening!! but then adam transforms into his true self, and maurice is like WHOAGH!!! :D!!!!! and adam is smiling and maurice says “was that all i had to say?? you could’ve changed weeks ago!!” and adam just kind of laughs in disbelief and maurice goes up to him and hugs him tight and adam just melts into it. and of course before long, all the servants come running in as humans, SUPER confused and partially thinking adam and maurice were romantically in love after all 😭😭 but mrs. potts is like “no you FOOLS. they just love each other. like a father and son should.” and adam is so 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and maurice just nods in agreement, arm still around his dear boy 🥹

and of course that same day they go GET BELLE and maurice is like OH MY DEAR DO I HAVE THE GUY FOR YOU!!!!!!!🫵🫵🫵

the end :)

[1-49]

hii lynn ! you've probably been seeing my user pop up in your notifications ALOT but it's because I've been binging your works and I'm just so in love with the way you write. everything you've put out is SO good and I can really tell how much you adore sungchan and that he is your muse ❤️

hiii bee!!! love seeing u in my notif!! 🤍 don’t worry!! always thank you, & im just excited whenever i see a feedback cos there is so little. i adore reading how differently people perceive smth that’s been written. & yes!! sungchan.. i just absolutely loveeee his character... that he is physically attractive and talented is such a plus to his personality like he’s literally soo perfect it is sickening. i am obsessed!!

whenever he smiles.. he’s sooo!! i turn fool who’s soo in love basically.

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ august/september 2023 double feature

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 4273 in august; none in september BUT that's because i did a lot of revising

projects worked on: Gemini Heist in august; Andromeda Rogue in september, then procrastinated so hard i ended up writing a few paragraphs on Third, Secret Wip

proudest accomplishment: i compiled all my AR1 beta feedback without giving in to the urge to set the book on fire and also myself

books read: Network Effect (Murderbot Diaries #5) by Martha Wells

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

so basically i started off august decently solid, working on gemini heist while andromeda rogue was off being torn apart by the betas. (i'm joking. it didn't get torn apart. i think you guys were being way too nice actually.)

and then all kinds of shit hit the fan in my personal life all at once in mid-august. both good and bad. it was a lot.

anyways the first half of september was spent recovering from all that, BUT i took a week off work mid-september to catch my breath and also get back into writing, and it was really good for me.

on another note! i am very seriously considering making an etsy shop for some of my art, because as much as i loathe the thought of monetizing my hobbies, we are living in a cost of living crisis, and i don't wanna be in my ice water soup era forever, ha. anyways stay tuned. (and if you think it would be a good idea/you think yourself or others would be interested in buying things PLEASE LET ME KNOW. EXPLICITLY. because otherwise i will assume no one cares and the idea will fizzle out.)

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft 2 editing)

i went through all the beta comments during my week off and while i am glad it doesn't look like i'll have to do any more BIG rewrites, editing sucks and i want to give up.

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (draft 0.5. okay fine it's draft 1 but i feel better about myself if i call it draft 0.5 okay)

honestly when i was working on this feels sooo long ago i don't even remember what there is to say?

i hit 20K at some point in august. i think.

OH YEAH i "finished" act 2/7. the quotation marks are because i absolutely did not finish it, i only finished writing all the main plot-relevant scenes and skipped anything else. which means there's like a whole chapter and a half that haven't actually been written bc they're probably gonna be exposition or character building stuff that i haven't figured out yet and i'm hoping will be easier once i know what actually happens in the rest of this story. (reminder that i am a plantser.)

anyways i suspect this wip will be going dormant again for a while as i focus on getting AR ready for publishing. (sidenote it's been over a year since i started the GH draft and i feel like i've done fuck all on it besides come up with useless lore and make extremely specific playlists. world's slowest writer. the playlists slap, though.)

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

uh have this random snippet of Euna about to pop off!

Somewhere far, far, away, Leo was shouting, “Just get your ass out of there, Li!” but her voice seemed muffled in Euna’s ears, blocked out by the rage that had been steadily mounting ever since that guard shot her arm and ruined the fight for her. All she could hear was the blood rushing through her own ears, the buzz of the guard’s electrified gauntlets, the crackle of the electricity in her own hand. She reared her good fist back and slammed it into the guard’s face. Their nose made a sickening crunch against Euna’s knuckles. Blood flowed down over their mouth and chin as they staggered back, but Euna wasn't done. Her right arm, still spouting sparks, swung into the side of their head, finally bringing them down. Before they could get up again, Euna dropped on top of them, pinning them to the ground with her knees on their chest. She grabbed their shoulders and yanked their upper body off the floor, preparing to slam them down one last time— Purple light surrounded her. For a frightening second, she couldn’t move. Then she was thrown off the guard and dragged, upside-down, through the air towards the exit.

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

andromeda trilogy taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa @outpost51

gemini heist taglist:

@florraisons @akindofmagictoo @cream-and-tea @nicola-writes @memento-morri-writes @antique-symbolism @rose-bookblood @afoolandathief @pepperdee @avi-why @zonnemaagd @chazzawrites @analogued @enchanted-lightning-aes @innocentlymacabre @kahvilahuhut @celestepens @cilly-the-writer @extra-magichours @onomatopiya @outpost51

[blixabargelds]

I know you haven’t written for Succession in a while, but your Roman/Stewy fic is the first thing I’ve ever read that, I feel like, really understands how consent IS complicated and the terrifying, sickening desperate need for someone to just hold you down and give you something you know you want to want, even if not…quite actively wanting it. It was a really good read and you’ve got a lot of skill as an writer!

wahhh thank you so much!! honestly my absolute heart and soul went into that fic and roman’s views of consent were both so deeply personal to me and something i desperately wanted to get right for others to read and fit in character too so it means the world whenever someone tells me i got it ❤️ tmwi is truly my baby and the fic i put the most of myself into so it’s sooo wonderful any time someone tells me they liked it

[teddybeartoji]

MICKEY i am jumping out of the blanket fort excitedly <333 this is so long overdue bc ive been too excited to sit down and think abt the Vamps properly BUT it’s finally time.. this is just going of ur most recent rb abt them btw which was . a While ago IVE BEEN THINKING OF IT CONSTANTLY THOUGH BUT ;;;;; STSG…. THE STSG DYNAMIC….

mickey i’m convinced that u are secretly plotting my downfall there’s no other explanation. VAMP!SUGU FLIRTING W JOURNALIST!GOJO ……..…. i DIED i exploded they make me feel so ill. I’VE PROBABLY DEFINITELY SAID THIS BUT EVERY TIME U GIVE ME ANOTHER PIECE OF VAMP LORE I FALL FURTHER INTO THE PIT just . sugu feeling more comfortable in the dynamic & getting more confident… JOURNALIST!GOJO BEING FLUSTEREDPEKSJ HELP MEEEEEE vamp!reader would find that so funny wouldn’t they. so sweet. now i’m just imagining the vamps teaming up to fluster gojo 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 me next

(he doesn't want u to be jealous he's more asking for reassurance - is it okay if the two of them mess around together too? and of course it is bc you want your boys to be happy)

dont even get me started on this ^^^^ im sending u my hospital bill watch out . MICKEY :(( im so obsessed w vamp!reader it isn’t even funny i need them so bad it’s sickening. they KNOW they call the shots and sugu knows it too and the way they’re kind of just. indulging their beloveds…… they’re sooo <33333 yeah.

i just wanted to let u know i am in fact thinking abt these three constantly i am kissing ur brain always. pls give mr armin a lil kiss from me too !! <33

HI ARI BABY!!!

it's so good to see you here (i might keep you forever)(/hj).

what do you think of playground love by air (btw doesn't the cover for this song look like sugu lmao i just noticed that) for this stsg? it might not be something you immediately thought of, right? but i feel like it suits the sugu teaching satoru how to paint?? do you see the vision?? or did you imagine something else?? i need to know. i think this moment would be such an important one in their relationship such a pivotal moment

i can totally see suguru talking about the colors and anatomy and how to hold the brush and then little journalist!gojo is just staring at him with stars in his eyes trying to concentrate because he really does want to learn but fuck it's so hard with this angel before him...

and i think the song name is also funny in a sense that satoru is like a teenager bc how easily he pops his boners lmao okay he just gets so fucking excited in his head it's literally not even sexual????? like sugu is just sooooo handsome under the moonlight it's making his head spin and oh! oops!

another thing i thought about is the fact that they definitely have a cat!!! idk if i said this already somewhere but they do!!! not a black one bc that's a little basic but maybe like a siamese one? meow very cute. anyway i think satoru desperately want to have the cat's attention but it loves sugu the most lmao and he's soooooo smug about that too!!! satoru is all pspspspsps bribing the kitty with the treats but it literally ignores him?????? and just gets comfy on sugu's lap without a second thought. imagine the pouty little satoru here:((( btw the reader is also jealous of sugu in this case but they refuse to show it. bc c'mon they're the leader of the house they can't be upset over their own cat liking their beloved more. no way. never. that's so childish. :(.

oh and and and!! the vamp!reader really does like satoru and they know that he's the perfect guy to help bring suguru out of his shell even more yk they know that a little curious puppy like him is only gonna do good in their household (after they reassure sugu ofc)

wait actually i can't remember whether i said that satoru just kind of moved in too right??? like he rarely goes to his city apartment and he just has his own room (as if he fucking sleeps there smh) and he absolutely loves lliving in the mansion he doesn't even hide it. i do need to say that he also adores having maids and a butler but he's still incredibly respectful towards them yk like he isn't pointlessly bossing them around

he also loves to blast stupid fucking music over the whole house.... canon i'm afraid. idk why but justin timberlake just popped into my head lmao like his music in the 10's wheww bangers though i won't lie

OHHH WAITT I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT SHOKO AND SATORU bc like they don't know each other yet!!!!! so imagine shoko comes over for their usual wine night and then finds this blue eyed guy lazing on the couch without a shirt on????? like who are you???? but then she recognizes him hehehe i think journalist!gojo is a rather known one he's good at his job so she just rolls her eyes but after an hour or two i think they actually get along surprisingly well!! (okay i mean it's not a surprise for us but for the reader and sugu) they kind of share the same stupid af humor and it all just gets super fucking funny when they're all playing board games together lmao (shoko always wins btw)(always.)

also heheheh armin came to sit with me just as i started writing this!!! he has received his kiss!! he meowed back!! he loves you!! i know bc i know his language so just trust me!!

ANYWAYY THIS IS THEMM!! i love talking about them it comes so easily the words really write themselves really (i can't wait to actually you know.. write something real for them lmao)(SOON I PROMISE SOON)

thank you for coming by i hope you never leave!!! mwah mwah mwah!! love you lots and lots and lots!!

[eonars]

Any advise for applying to PhD programs? Congrats by the way!

thank you!! sorry this is so late my notifications are in an absolute state and this is the first time I've been on desktop all week

I'm not sure if I'm the best one to give advice for applying to PhDs cause I honestly got rejected from SOOO many before I got this one. I'd applied for maybe 15-20 (bear in mind, this was in the sciences so they were all paid positions in funded projects, if you want advice on self funded I'm not the one) and came in second or third place more times than I can remember, which is totally useless at the end of the day cause they're only picking one person.

By the time this one rolled around I'd more or less given up and was seriously considering just moving to LA and becoming a tattoo artist lmao. But on a serious note it's super easy to get discouraged, especially when you're regularly getting top 3 candidates out of like 100 applicants and STILL not managing to get the top spot, and I don't really have amazing advice for that because I did get entirely discouraged and had basically given up the ghost at this point.

ANYway though I got recommended for this position by my former master's supervisor and immediately thought I was way underqualified for it, but decided to just apply anyway cause it was really no effort and I had nothing to lose (except my remaining shred of mental fortitude after yet another rejection but whatever). I bullshitted a motivation letter using the main bit of advice my master's supervisor gave me (it needs to sicken you a little to read it, go in and write in such a confident voice that you're the only one for this position that it feels kinda gross to write it, can expand on this further if you want) and submitted that and all my other things and got selected to interview!

So at this point I'm still kind of in my fuck it we ball half given up state but even half given up I'm still an academic weapon so I spent hours reading and preparing (we were tasked with doing a 15min presentation and I godsweat everything I'm asked to do). I also came off a little manic in the actual interview cause I hadn't slept and after doing so many interviews that led nowhere my nerves were completely shot, but I think that ended up working to my benefit because I came off as really bubbly and personable? Which is always a benefit in science-oriented spaces because there's always gonna be a million guys who know all the science and techniques and theory but can't hold a basic conversation, and you can really set yourself apart by being an engaging even slightly jokey type character. So overall being in the fuck it we ball mindset and letting my kind of tweaky goofy not at all stuffy academic professional side out ended up working to my advantage I think because they seemed to really like me in the interview. I'm also generally good at presenting and making visually pleasing, clean presentations (if you can make something tasteful looking that isn't just blocks of black text on a white default slide you're gonna be cooking with gas here).

Like I said before my qualifications (as in actual scientific experience pertaining to this project) were lacking to the point where I was strongly considering not even applying, so I really think it was the interview that sealed the deal for me. I gave a well-rehearsed, clean presentation that I practiced countless times beforehand, and even though they gave me two publications to work off of for the presentation I did my own further research and included figures and information outside of what I was provided. I also found a way to spin this specific project into the exact logical next step for my career, tie it into my own personal values and the impact I want to have on the world, and just basically make it look like this one project was made for me specifically and I wanted to be part of it because of what it was, NOT because I was ready to do any project that was dropped in front of me at that point. Especially in STEM, I feel like coming off as personable, agreeable, and social is going to give you a major advantage. They're not looking for a science robot who never leaves the lab, they're looking for someone who can present at conferences, write effective and clear publications and communications, work in a group in multiple different settings, go with the flow, solve problems etc.

Reading back on this now I'm realizing "get to the brink of giving up, plan running away and joining the circus, and be visibly mentally ill in the interview" isn't amazing advice but I uh, hope this helped somehow. If I can do it anyone can do it man.

[riko0youth]

plz no hate also,don't justify,you could hardly change my opinion even if its wrong

Since i started shipping Kaishin i always restored to translated DJs and Fanart to feed it, whenever i thought of reading fanfic i simply felt repulsive, that it won't taste good, and boy was i right, i understood the reasons very clearly, but yesterday, due to accumulation of a few reasons , i caved and tried it , and now i need heaps of DJs and Fanart mouthwash to forget this taste.

no offense intended, the writing style of authors is actually super good, the plot is very entertaining, overall a good well written fic, but it just not my thing, simply because the western eyes(and i don't mean ppl living in the west, im talking abt the ideology itself, wherever they're from) and mine don't match, they don't see or understand the characters as i do, and same for me, i fail to see and understand most stuff they way they do, so simply, me and the anime fics, we can't mix, i can have some tolerance for stuff like bkdk , but a classic literally older than me DCMK is out of question, how they portray the characters and take them out of context, while its good and fun...its just not them so its pointless for me to read fics abt absolute strangers, i would rather go through my kaishin pins twice than read smth while i enjoy it, gives me a foul taste (i guess that's what alcohol drinking is like for people, yeah, its good that i don't and won't drink ever in my life)

also, if you don't know, i merely write for the sake of journaling, this post is not meant to criticize anyone, especially not the hard working authors, simply my pov that most won't agree on.

I am not trying to defend myself saying this, but i am merely stating how my mindset came to be, first, my childhood, pre-teen years, and the first quarter of my teens were spent watching Anime, and the rest of my teens was spent reading manga/hua/hwa and Danmeis , that's it, no friends, no social media, no way to understand how my peers from any part of the world thing, only how the Japanese, Chinese and sometimes Korean ''Characters" live, like and think, so ya, very very low tolerance, when i unfortunately started opening up to the "world" it was merely to look for more resources for a good read, my mindset was already set by then and i felt like an alien (still do, but meh that's me) among everyone else, and more often than not i feel super uncomfortable from a comment with a mindset that's just so foreign to me it feels sickening (im not exaggerating)

so ya, lgptq+ , most of the relationship 'cues', ideas of (in my weak pov seems extreme) individuality in romance ,etc etc, they are all things i am not very fond of, cuz my mind is attached to a more simple process, watching ppl be in love ,period.

oh ya and the concept of incent, which i find hilarious but that's just horrible of me, incent is wrong for two reasons, ethically, you can't marry your sibling because they're your sibling sharing the same blood of at least one of your parents and that is sooo wrong (im not too far gone to think on even such a thing) but speaking ethically , for me a sibling is diffrent from a COUSIN they don't share your blood, their blood is just closer to yours from a stranger, they are not the children of your own parents, so, i just find it pointless to be so hung up on it, i could marry a cousin and only discover they're my cousin after we've had kids and lives happy stable lives, should i just destroy all that and make my children live in agony cuz someone somewhere sometime decided that marrying the cousin is same as marrying an SIBLING and even giving it the same label? of course , another point ,which is actually, speaking abt cousins, more serious , is Genetically speaking you can't mix DNAs too similar because it increase the risk of genetic mutations and disabilities in offspring, but the risk is always there, so its *unadvised* at most to marry a cousin if you are planning to have kids, but that's it, and everyone is free to choose between marrying the one they want and increasing their chance of healthy children, so its absolutely *hilarious* for me to be so hung up on "incent" between 2 MALE COUSINS , like really, *where are you even coming from?* (and yes im talking abt what you have in mind , as i said, i started kaishin fanfics just yesterday which is apparently the worst possible timing since the whole M24 trailer fiasco or whatever it is that's bothering them and got swarmed with confusing tags that just made me lose my appetite and feel vaguely uncomfortable, and "what's the big deal?" confused)

ofc as a person opening up to the world the first thing i did was to try to fit in, it wasn't wholly unpleasant ofc, i got some of the dearest ships to my heart that sometimes support me post-breakdown, but i tried to think like others, only to discover its futile, i can guess how others would think , but im mostly unconvinced by it or don't feel like agreeing to it, and that just works to make it easy for me to gain enemies and unpleasant impressions, so i mostly lay off commenting my opinions since its as foreign to them as theirs are to me , and im not so free or sinister to make others feel unpleasant on purpose, ofc no one is perfect so i slip from time to time when my battery (i call it LXC battery of patience cuz that's what i think of portraying when im controlling myself from commenting and arguing, using LXC as a role model to extend the Battery's life) and as expected those slips catch fire , i also mostly use the method of burning letters, except i don't burn them , i have a very short memory span on most thing, so i write it, say i will post it later, and the when i see the draft i don't remember if i did post it or not , and it would be very stupid to post the same thing twice, also im not so attentive to open a site or an app specifically to check, i would rather spend that time reading

Most of the time i didn't understand why the "western" ppl make a big deal out of everything and are so hung up on realism , i still don't but i could get one thing, and ironically im the living proof of that one thing, that is, most people's mindset is affected by what they are exposed to, aka, what they read, see, or hear, so if something say like intentional harm like pushing people off the stairs and people always survive, if crazy troupe like that spiral into normality smh, and someone ALWAYS read it and always seeing it, them it won't be that hard to apply in real life, so the westerns are just looking out for others, or less selflessly, like every human, are trying to convince others of their opinion.

ofc in my case, which i don't know if its an exception or there are many others like me (again, i don't socialize) that help is absolutely unnecessary, since everything i read see or hear are for me strictly fictional, I won't fall in love with a minor as much as i won't fly off on a dragon, for me they're all fiction, love, itself , is something fictional i don't expect to see in the real world, that's why i love reading it the most, for me what i read is what can't be found in my reality like dragons, travelling to other worlds, falling in love at first sight, forbidden love etc, so its no surprise i feel unpleasant when some person out there try to stain my "world" with realism after i always painstakingly separated them anyways bye.

[sevlawless]

u know i will never not be a seven lawless girlie but something in me is shifting when it comes to orion idk what's happening

Bestie come to the dark side. 😌✨✨

We truly got fed in this update. Orion really shined for me in this update. His interactions with mc had me kicking my giggling and kicking my feet . I also loved the whole seven thing with Cory. I know Cory has her things but she was kinda fine in this update for some reason or maybe that's just me lmaoo. (is her name Cory? I know it starts with a c, the one that's a fellow orion simp with the personality of a raccoon and Regina George combined.). She was making shit happen and I was here for it. 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️✨

Amy wrote this update so well. It felt like I was truly experiencing reality tv, it was so good. I got myself patreon to read this update bcs I couldn't wait. I've been having infamous brainrot ever since it came out and both the story, the ros and my infamous mcs keeps rotating in my mind like doner kebab meat on that rotating meat stick thing. 😭😭

PLEASKEKEDBDNDMSK just know orion climbed up in the li rankings for me in this update!

and i LOOOOVE cory idec she's so cunty and she's making the mess happen which i truly appreciate 🙏🏻

THIS UPDATE IS SO GOOD UR SO RIGHT I WAS SOOO ENTERTAINED THE WHOLE TIME and also so overwhelmed everytime i replay i find something new i didn't notice or register before and it's so fun! i would be absolutely be watching botb bc even from the pov as a contestant IM HAVING A MFING BALL !

and ur so real for that i stg infamous is always in the back of my mind and then whenever amy says something it's IMMEDIATELY back into the forefront IT'S SICKENING .. also the kebab PLEASE 😭 no i absolutely get 100% just watching our mc's and li's spin round and round <3 SKJSBDBDKSKS

[ulabewriting]

Celestia Foreman-McGuire.

she/her.

TW : (a lot of) cursing, mention of alcohol.

– Adopted in Pennsylvania.

– Leo.

– CEO of a talent management agency.

• looks like a doll.

….until she opens her mouth.

• “the FUCK 'you looking at, you fucking waste of yo’ dad’s jizzm??”

• the hot-headed one of the family.

• throws nasty looks at people you don’t like. Just come to her and say “look at them for me, please.” She’ll stare at whoever you pointed like they’re a sickening walking piece of trash and only once they’re gone, she’ll turn to you like “why d’you want me to do that btw ?”

• theater kid with anger issues looking like barbie, basically.

• aggressively affectionate. <3

• takes you to a different, expensive ass restaurant on every date. Each time, her only indication to you will be “doll yourself up, we’re eating good tonight.” And because she only ever gives you the best there is, you always do.

• known as the diva of the Foreman-Mcguires.

• gags at the idea of wearing a bad outfit.

• will throw a fit if you refuse to eat breakfast.

• wears stiletto heels everyday. (and you’ve never seen her stumble. never.)

• “Okay, I’mma stop you right there ‘cause we’re not really talking about me anymore, sooo… yeah, no, I don’t care.”

• dresses like a princess and acts like a villain.

• has a secret sanrio obsession.

• a sucker for flowers. Get her a bouquet and she might buy you a house or two.

• asked you out as if you were the one interested in her.

• “I mean, I guess we've been talking a lot recently, yeah. I can't blame you. I am irresistible; like WHO could possibly not want me, right ? So, if you threw yourself at me to, I don't know, kiss me or whatever, I wouldn't be mad... I'd definitely understand.... I'm just saying–”

• always spends 50/50 of her free time : drinking a cup of tea, sitting in a cafe/restaurant, bitching about people - or - going shopping in the fanciest places in town. (bonus; she brings Oliver to hold her bags whenever he's around.)

• obsessed with ribbons; she often wears pink ones in her hair.

• very confrontational – if she has a problem, she’ll gladly let you know, and don’t expect her to be sweet about it.

• don’t get it wrong though, she’s not feared. She’s basically the human version of a chihuahua and her siblings, especially the youngest, love to tease and annoy her on purpose. You can’t blame them, she has the best reactions–

• well aware of her diva reputation and absolutely loves it.

• “Urgh, I’m forgetting your face as I’m looking at it.”

• clingy behind closed doors. She always needs your attention and cuddles and if you don’t provide, she will pouuuut.

• you expected her to be an insufferable boss but, even though she is very serious about her work and will want only the best from her employees; she's actually very considerate and right with all of them.

• loves journaling. She draws little hearts and flowers on ever single page.

• wears strong, bewitching perfumes. leaves a delicate scent anywhere she goes.

• “Imagine disliking me, though.”

• owns a “drama queen certificate”. (Mickayla gave it to her for her birthday; Celestia said she hated it but still keeps it neatly in her desk drawer for some reason, uh.)

• loves alcohol but very much is a lightweight.

• can be cocky and seem arrogant, but gets weirdly sweet and innocent when you’re around. (and of course, she gets teased to death for it.)

• always needs to press your wrist when she's anxious; feeling your pulse soothes her.

• very loyal. If somebody messes with her siblings or you, she’s baring her claws. And it stings.

• has one of the prettiest faces you’ve ever seen; easily could’ve been a model.

• second biggest fashionista of the family. (nobody could ever compete against Mickayla for top 1.)

• bickers a lot with Liz (meaning, they’re best friends.)

• “Listen here lady, you might have the tits, but I have the ego, which is what one needs to survive, so quit polluting my space, will ya?”

• ugly crying in your arms when she misses her siblings after not seeing them for like a week.

• wearing flavored gloss all the time. because it looks good. and tastes good. just in case you’d go for a spontaneous kiss. just in case.

• amazing pianist. She used to play everyday when she was younger but eventually stopped as she got older. started when she was 13.

• sometimes, when you come visit her, you can hear beautiful notes echoing in the large, luxurious space of her house. You don’t make any noise when you approach her just to get a chance to look at her play; she looks like an angel, far away from the annoyed gaze and sardonic smirk she usually shows.

• openly jealous and possessive – not so much so that she’d keep you from living your life; but she’s by far the most “territorial” one of the family.

• love languages : gift giving (very big on that one; you often get overwhelmed by her generosity – you’d never thought someone would buy you a car or a whole brand new wardrobe just… because? she can?) and physical touch. usually she wouldn’t let anybody get close to her because “ew, your fucking greasy hands on my prada clothes, bitch” but she lives for your hands on her, her waist, her hair and, she can’t keep hers to herself… especially in public. she’s grabbing you all over and there’s nothing you can do to escape it.

• loves, loves, loves bunnies. She’s a big animal lover girlie, but these little fluffy balls just have her heart.

• bakes when she’s nervous; and with the industry she’s in and the agency she rules, it happens a lot. Prepare your tummy and tastebuds for apple pies, cookies, peanut butter bread and blueberry muffins every three to five business days.

• romantically calls you "bitch". (you only get cheesy, disgustingly sweet pet names behing closed doors though<3)

• “I just decided everybody here is a stupid bitch. Not you, though. Nah, you're cool. You're my stupid bitch. ”

[sunflouwerhabit]

hii! it's me again! I wrote to you here a few weeks ago and I just noticed that you have replied and like 😭 you are so sweet and I absolutely loved your long and rambly reply, thank you so much for taking your time with it.

in regard to what you said:

louis' character in It's Fine To Fake It Til You Make It is soooo good, I keep thinking back to that fic and to him and I feel like he's so singular, the characterisation really sticks out, you did such a great job!!

also, I used to like Snow On The Beach but since I've read your fic I became REALLY obsessed with the song like why did they write "My smile is like a won contest// And to hide that would be so dishonest" AND THOUGHT THAT WAS OK??? as if I wouldn't combust every time I hear it. ANYWAYSSSS

Evermore is The storytelling masterpiece I mean I love The love triangle as much as the next person and folklore is obviously amazing but taylor really exceeded herself with evermore like every single song is a tale and I love that. I totally agree with you, it is really inspiring.

"winter four is their reason to keep fighting and it's so special" I AGREE SM, that winter was just so perfect, it still warms my heart 💙

ANYWAY in the meantime I've read "down the line" (I finished a few weeks ago) AND I LOVED IT (perhaps I just really love everything you write). THE SLOW BURN WAS SO GOOD like sisksksk the way that Harry has a crush on Louis so early on is so cute compared to how Louis is like "I 😡 dislike 😡 this 😡 man 😡 that 😡 I 😡cannot😡take😡my😡eyes😡off😡and😡who😡so😡PURPOSELY😡hit😡my😡knee😡SOOO😡MUCH😡😡 also 😡 have 😡 i 😡 mentioned 😡 he 😡 has 😡 dimples? 😡 DIMPLES😡" sjsjsj also I loved Louis SO MUCH??? I want to be his friend. And I REALLY WANT TO GO TO CLEVELAND. your description of places/locations always makes me want to go to visit them. it's insane but everything seems so idyllic and has a certain stillness (or sadness?) that makes me want to DIVE!! into them. and that's that on your great descriptive skills.

Something that I reaaaaally loved about this fic though was the side characters! The team definitely felt like a little family (I loved Micah and James) and their dynamic was so heartwarming plus THE PRANKS AND FAB FIVE AND WATCHING AVENGERS IN HOTEL ROOMS 😭 i just loved loved reading this. 

i havent started the extra innings (yet!) but I'm really excited to see some things from Harry's pov, he was probably my favourite character (I loved Louis A LOT and I related to him so much sometimes but there was something about harry that was so amusing, he's a comfort character for me).

Anyway, I actually started writing this now because I JUST SAW THAT YOU POSTED WRITE THIS DOWN (FROM THE VAULT) AND I'M SCREAMING. I COULD NOT BELIEVE MY EYES WHEN I SAW IT. I'M STILL SMILING WHILE LOOKING AT AO3 TO CONFIRM THAT IT'S NOT A DREAM CAUSE LIKE. AAAA. I'm so excited to read it. I still haven't but like. "they are so in love it is sickening" is perhaps the best tag ever. AAAA. ok. perhaps I will stop screaming and just read it instead but I'm sooo happy that you decided to explore this universe even more and I'm sooo thankful. I just can't wait for future updates and such. 

I!LOVE!YOU! I hope you have a great day & weekend and that your creative juices flow splendidly :) thank youuuu soo much for blessing us with your writing!!! take care! :)

HIIIIIIIIIIIIII :'))))))))))))) ohmygod i am back after a LONG pause and you must know that your messages literally make my entire life they are so sweet and wonderful and AHHHHHHHHHH. i'm just so happy you love my louis in it's fine to fake it, and also that my little fic could help you love snow on the beach a little more??? i was also not the biggest sotb fan when it first came out (but i LOVE lana and the version with more of her is my favorite) but it is lyrically just so ......... taylor???? "time can't stop me quite like you did" ???? INSTANT TEARS ???? it's so BEAUTIFUL AND ROMANTIC AND MELANCHOLIC and !!!!!!! one of taylor's best track fours like. GOD.

also. just. i am an evermore truther so i am always here to give that album and its storytelling alllll the accolades!! folklore is #3 in my taylor album rankings like she is beautiful and perfect but evermore is just. my entire soul wrapped up in 17 tracks (hence an entire fic based on one of my favorite songs on the album hehehe)

BUT ANYWAYYYYYYY- ONTO DOWN THE LINE!!!!!! :') so full disclosure, i am so proud of every single one of my fics and my characters, but down the line is just my absolute baby. it's so special to me and i am SO happy you love it tooooo!!!!!! that description of louis is SO REAL IM SCREAMING SLDJFASDJFASF i call the first 2 chapters of DTL "louis' hater era" 😭😭😭 just a bro hating his bro while also falling asleep cuddling him and waxing poetics about how stunningly beautiful he is lasdjfalsdfasf

BUT ALSO- OMG ABSOLUTELY COME TO CLEVELAND. IT'S MY FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!! i love writing little love letters to my city, and i will always always always be promoting the cleveland agenda! "idyllic, still, pangs of sadness" is just so cleveland and the rust belt!!!! and i'm so happy you loved the spider's dynamic, too! they're unapologetically my favorite team EVER (sorry, guards!) and my favorite thing about the innings is that i get tp explore other team members more and it's just... so fun. i feel warm and fuzzy whenever i think about my spideys!!! and i hope you enjoy the innings, if/when you start them! they're so much fun for me. my goal is 9 a year (because of COURSE!). and i also LOVEEEEEE down the line harry!!!! i can't wait to hear your thoughts and also i can't wait to write dtl (harry's version!)

BUT HAHSADLHFSDFHASDFHASDF OHMYGOD GETTING THIS IN REAL TIME WHEN YOU WERE REACTING TO THE VAULT CHAPTER IS MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!! WRITE THIS DOWN IS BACK!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! i think you have another message after this one reacting specifically to it, so i shall leave this here and just say again that i love you and also. just. thank you so much?????? :'))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[nico-di-genova]

I had SO much hope for Max's dads at the beginning. Now I'm just upset with them and for Max. I wonder if Max might have a breakdown in front of them once he lets himself be vulnerable after what he's been through. Maybe that will get them to start to become more civil and act more like parents. I just hope they'll become better parents, Max needs his dads.

Roy and Gideon are both terrible fathers and great fathers, inconsistent and reliable, at the same time. Like Roy taking Max to his childhood home, and bringing his son into his world as a way to connect with him because they struggle to communicate normally was such a good scene. Absolute A+ parenting there, and really the first time we see Roy treating Max like his kid instead of a miniature adult.

But then they handled everything with Rafa sooo poorly. I genuinely cannot wrap my head around how Roy can so clearly see that Max is emotionally closing himself off, to the point that he point blank tells Max he doesn’t want him to inherit his repression tactics, but he doesn’t see that Rafa was a direct cause of that. Sure, Max is spiraling because he’s seeing his parents marriage fall apart and losing the foundation of stability he’s had for his entire life. But he’s also isolating himself because he was used and manipulated by a man who was meant to guide and protect him. Rafa was his teacher, someone who was meant to mentor him, and Max trusted him. Max idolized him to a degree, only to have Rafa use him in such a horrific way. And then he sits at that thanksgiving dinner, in front of a table full of adults and even his own teachers, and he says it was “all his fault” that he “feels fucked up about it” and not a single adult in that room tells him he’s wrong. They all sit there, and listen to this child take full blame for something that was never his fault to begin with, and it’s sickening.

I really hope all this is just building to Max having a breakdown. Just so we can finally see Roy and Gideon realize how much Max is hurting. I want them to hold Max and promise him everything is going to be okay. I want them to realize they’ve screwed up in letting Max basically parent himself, and see that Max is still a kid who needs them. I want them to get upset at Rafa, because none of their anger should have ever been directed at their son in the first place. Rafa has hurt Max, and if the show never addresses that hurt I’m going to be so fucking pissed.