#it will be tough but she will manage
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I’ve been thinking about eyrie and lyse something bad lately omg
#thinking about by virtue of spending time with papalymo they spent time with her#and how she would always try and get them out of their shell. always poke and prod at them with the best intentions#how they would call each tentative friends—if not eyrie was someone who looked out for her#and she knew they were sad and tried her best but it’s the sort of sad they’ve carried for years#but they don’t see each other again until after the dragonsong war ends#and there’s no time for catch up. there’s so much that happens#papalmyo is a kick in the stomach to the both of them#and there’s some bickering there too#eyrie bottling up the grief and the blame#the dynamic between them just. doesn’t fit anymore#neither of them are the people they used to be#and it’s extra sad throughout stormblood that lyse is moving up#and she is so determined and ready to face what is being put in front of her#it will be tough but she will manage#while eyrie is sitting there falling to pieces#they really don’t share any of lyse’s feelings#it is going through the motions. it is I am a tool to be used please use me so I don’t have to think#it’s not until 4.1 where it really clicks for lyse and eyrie how much they have changed#when eyrie kills the Qalyana woman before she can do the summoning ritual#the without a thought split second action they took#they have a nasty confrontation about it#and it’s just this kicker of lyse asking them what happened#what happened to the person she knew?#and it’s a moment where eyrie has it all shoved in their face#of just like. what did happen to them. what happened to the friend lyse had#it’s a bad time#and the relationship between the two of them hasn’t ever really gotten over that hurdle#it’s so much of how time changes the people we care about into what we cannot recognize#and the helplessness and grief that follows it and realizing how things can never go back to how it used to be#oc: eyrie kisne
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yknow sometimes the way trans women talk about testosterone and being on estrogen is indistinguishable from the way terfs try to convince afab people not to start hrt
this is not a criticism mind you, their experiences are their own and completely legitimate, it's just a matter of competing needs - they need a safe space to talk about their dysphoria and how testosterone makes them feel and i need to not hear about how i am destroying my body with hrt
ordinarily these things are pretty insular to transfem circles but since instagram has been feeding me transfem content i'm seeing it more and more and yet again the algorithm is fucking me
#ransomrambles#like a friend of mine in absolute genuineness told me how my skin was gonna stop being soft and my hair was gonna thin out#and she obviously wasn't trying to dissuade me from hrt .... but like ..... thanks for leading with that mate#with estrogen it's the - no downsides- people often say there aren't many downsides to taking e - save some erectile dysfunction#but when it's the other way it's - make sure you're really sure cause you're permanently ruining your body forever#like i get that - my skin feels so soft now - is an estrogen experience ..... but the reverse framing is not helping anyone here#that's just all you hear about testosterone hrt - a list of downsides you'll have to cope with#idk this isn't a fully constructed thought#like i said trans girls deserve the space to have that conversation#i just need to not be in that space cause it obviously hits me differently#but man the sheer volume of trans girls talking about the /damage/ t has done to them .... in dis tinguishable#the aside to this is also a lot of girls being like i realized i was a girl cause of xyzq#and the list is the same as the one my mother used to be like - see you must be a girl#so it's just tough#competing access needs are hard to manage#and that's why life is best on the curate your own experience webbed site
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au of the underland chronicles where it starts when gregor and Luxa are both sixteen instead of eleven.
#gregors fam can’t quite keep up w how tall he’s getting so his clothes are too small#until the next time they can afford some bigger ones#gangly and awkward gregor yaaay#i imagine Luxa would be even more battle hardened and tough to crack the shell on#but she’s still kind inside#gregor would have less patience for her moodiness at first#the underland chronicles#tuc gregor#gregor tuc#tuc luxa#Luxa tuc#tuc#gregor the overlander#i managed to recreate my fave csp brush in procreate hurray#fanart#my art#doodles#al chatters#i also imagine the underland being so rough makes teenagers look a little older. maybe it’s just the seriousness
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i really really really really don’t want to go out tonight but i gotta be a supportive sister
#she needs me to help her make content and tbh she doesn’t even want to go either but she agreed w the event managers already#just gotta tough it out for an hour and a half#gonna nap on the way there#chitchatting ᵔᴗᵔ
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lucy waking up from a nightmare about her DOD and being comforted by tim is so detrimental to me. i need it more than the oxygen that fills my lungs.
#*and this is icarly!#the rookie#tim bradford#lucy chen#chenford#otp: you know me so well#ik lucy is as tough as nails and is mostly over her kidnapping by now#but i imagine in the couple weeks leading up to the anniversary date every year she starts having nightmares about it again#and now that they're officially canon tim will be there to comfort her through it#i can so clearly picture lucy gasping up in bed#tim immediately shooting up right behind her and sushing her and giving her sweet reassurances#while she mumbles partially asleep something about not being able to breathe or 'no don't close the lid'#which absolutely shatters tim as he lays her back down and holds onto her#he always manages to soothe her back into slumber at the cost of his own good nights rest#as long as he knows lucy's well taken care of though he doesn't care#GOD I FUCKING MISS THEM AND I NEED THIS FOR S6#I NEEDED IT LIKE YESTERDAY
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everytime i feel bad and stressed about my life i remember that i might be in a troubling situation and having a bad time but im not season 4 fiona gallagher in the clink after leaving crack on the counter which my 3 year old baby brother happened to ingest resulting in a fatal near-death experience thats wracked me with never-ending guilt and forever altered my life
#this storyline was stupid you expect me to believe two-apples-tall liam gallagher came close to the crack AND managed to ingest it?#the crack which is lined up on the kitchen counter?#Also i don't believe that fiona would be irresponsible enough for liam to have been able to be close to the crack#that was an ooc moment and not like “its ooc cause thats the point shes going thru a tough time”#morelike “so ooc that it seems like a discrepancy that was overlooked for the sake of drama and shock value#as an older sister i feel like being watchful of your younger sibling if crack is in their general vicinity is an unstoppable instinct#its just not a plausible situation sorry like this is coming from someone who wholeheartedly embraces the realistic idea#of fiona falling short sometimes and being very human by struggling to consistently maintain her doting attentiveness#but anyways it's complicated cause Fiona clearly put it somewhere he cant reach#so how did he get access to it????#its like getting mad at a parent for putting a glass of wine on the counter#not comparing that to literal cocaine obviously this whole situation was nonetheless messed up#but just for some perspective... the writers were clearly doing cocaine themselves if they thought that#liam was bungee-jumping onto the counter and showing off his skills as an apparent budding olympics gymnast#not justifying anything but. listen.#the fact that it was on the counter FOR A REASONNN shows that fiona was careful to keep it out of reach and NOT do something insane like#putting it on the table#liam somehow magically having access to it defeats the purpose of it being on the counter.#if they really wanted for it to be believable that liam managed to snort it they should've put it on the table#but we already know that situation wouldn't be believable in its entirety cause we know that fiona would literally never leave it there#WHICH IS MY POINT. LIKE THIS SITUATION IS JUST ANNOYINGLY UNBELIEVABLE. FIONA WOULD NOT DO THIS AND HOW DID LIAM EVEN GET TO IT??#theres like 39482939 overlooked discrepancies just for the sake of getting to the shock#just to circle back Fiona would literally never let liam go near crack no matter how far gone and fucked up she was#I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM AN OLDER SISTER.#its just so UGHHHHH anyways obviously i still think in canon yeah Fiona was at fault shouldve been more careful and watchful#no matter how you look at it its clear that a risk like this just cannot be taken and she had to be blamed to an extent#but me personally? i reject it because it didnt feel natural to me at all there were 394939 other ways to frame a Fiona downfall#And i loved all the other ways her spiral was shown like getting messed up and ending up in Sheboygan#all the shit she got into with robbie + the impulsive urge to ruin the good thing she had going with mike#so human and believable and deeply flawed unlike the liam situation which was horrifically OOC and unrealistic
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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.
Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3
#personal#i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week#i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here#but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting#i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday#where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get#after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks#but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that#what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed#so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try#because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times#which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even#so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call#from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today#and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out#'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out#because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own#i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still#but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously#so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me#i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but#at least i'd know#anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing#sorry
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.
#had a tough day today bc i had to meet up with our hr manager for a 'talk' about my absence#i was so nervous for it that i was drained before it even began#i asked a colleague of mine to be there#an older man who i trust with these things bc he's very calm but often knows what to say at the right time#and is very sensitive#he could tell i wasn't doing well before i told anyone#he's dealt with his own darkness as well so i know that's why i gravitate to him#the conversation went okay. i said what i wanted to say#the hr manager clearly wanted to see me /wanting/ to come back on monday lol#expecting a quick fix like they always do#she did take away my main points so i really hope i see the results. and i asked to come back without my manager breathing down my neck#i hope that gets respected too#then afterwards. after already almost crying a million times my colleague asked if i wanted to bike with him to this statue#that got placed here today bc it's a traveling thing to raise awareness for suicide#he supports that cause bc his son is a victim of suicide#and i could tell he was having a hard time but then he also actually said it#i was crying man. he doesnt know how deep it goes for me but#i think i gave him a bit of comfort being there. showing i understand#when i got home he texted me to thank me for going with him bc he couldn't have done it alone.#im gonna cry myself to sleep tonight#my posts
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Mari looking SO excited about the rifle. There’s a universe where she got to be huntress AND cook, and she is THRIVING.
#yellowjackets#mari#bless her she wants to be helpful So Badly#too bad for her the Wilderness is like ‘what’s the superpower you least want? congrats it’s yours now!’#lottie hates her visions? tough kid you’re getting a whole religion built around them!#van doesn’t know why she’s still here? too bad! you get to be functionally immortal!#nat’s got mad trauma re: guns? gueeeesss who has the steadiest haaaaaand#I lowkey believe Mari actually fucking hates the kitchen#despises cooking. Will do literally any other chore if possible at home#so naturally she’s out here keeping their asses in what nutrients she can manage#yj rewatch
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All robots please.. take off your clothes
#bruno yugioh#bruno borrelli#aporia#primo#placido#ygo#my art#My autism jumped out here#The only thing stopping me from doing this to Paradox is my obsession with his clothes#He somehow managed to be much much cooler with his clothes on than off#I feel like I should make Aporia more broad next time I draw them..#Not to mention she and Bruno are both so empty#Well that's okay ^^ I can always add more when I draw them again#I'm honestly a little shy posting these even tough they're just silly sketches#Please understand I just think robots are so so so so so so so so super amazing
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basically threw away £20 on my nails today so was already getting weird bc i apparently cannot be normal about money and then my paycheck came through just for my manager to have knocked off 11 hours worth of pay. so naturally i am crying in a dark room about it
#this is such a girl moment wdym you’re crying about your fucking nails. couldn’t explain it to you if i tried#im just an utter FREAK about money and then for my payslip to get fucked as well. whyyyyy would you do that#im not built for the working world truly idk how sensitive people do it bc i am NOT im tough as shit 99% of the time and i STILL can’t deal#just give me my fucking money it’s not fair 😭😭😭 i worked hard 😭😭😭#and the dumbest brattiest part of this is that the thing that tipped me over the edge is that my mum didn’t offer to pay for my nails#like how ridiculous and spoiled is that but still i was so so angry at myself about fucking them up and it’s £25 to get them done tomorrow#and I’ve worked so hard for her this summer and both days I’ve been in town I’ve got her things#like nothing spenny but I’ve just thought of her and got her things I know she’d like just to be nice#and £25 is NOTHING TO HER AND SHE DIDNT EVEN OFFER 😭😭 she even joked it off#she was like ‘your dad would offer to pay if he was here but I believe in lessons’ GIRL FUCK YOUR LESSONS I WANT MY NAILS DONE 😭😭😭#why am i actually in tears over this. this is so silly. now all my money is fucked and im going to be the skint one when we go to dublin#AS USUAL. even though i worked hard and clocked the hours it still got fucked bc im fucking. cursed#im aware im being dramatic and this isn’t even about the amount of money i have atm i promise this isn’t some desperate bankruptcy claim#like for once im actually fine money wise it’s just all been FUCKED and my dates are now FUCKED bc i have to wait for next paycheck now#and it’s so unfair bc usually things go wrong for me bc im DUMB and mess it up LIKE MY NAIL APPOINTMENT#but for work and dublin i literally planned it perfectly and did the hours and it still didn’t work#like what is WRONG with me. i hate being an adult i need a sugar daddy ive had enough#the message I sent my manager…. scathing…. ik his scared of confrontation ass is panicking. give me my fucking MONEY#hella goes home
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gracie abrams when i catch you….
#how did she manage to call me out#absolutely heartbroken#albums was amazing tho#gracie abrams#taylor swift#the secret of us#close to you#risk#tough love#felt good about you#i knew it i know you#i love you i’m sorry#i miss you i’m sorry#us
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project sekai is such a good game. i'm going to steal a car and drive it off a cliff
#read the new niigo event. it's good. kaito is the tough gruff blunt love mafuyu needs it's exactly what i was hoping for#he does Not fuck around. he tore right into the heart of the problem: that mafuyu is afraid to acknowledge that his mother is abusive#when kaito said 'she's going to kill you'...wow....no wonder it took so long for him to show up#these harsh truths would have been too overwhelming for mafuyu in the past. but he's come a long way and like#for the sake of his healing... it's time he starts unpacking this mess and stops being passive#also mafuyu's mom...ugh. i hate her. so much.#they managed to perfectly pull off giving her this... like... subtle slimy Vibe. her every word sends chills down my spine#she's so... despicably composed and has no shame in treating mafuyu like a doll. very very very unsettling.#props to kanade for telling her straight up that she's a shitty parent LMFAO i love when my wet paper towel of a child snaps#i talked about this on twitter but the way kanade is the master of rage. yeah. god. GOD THIS GAME
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* Thinking abt the Lucy Bob n Otto worstieship again after forever. All of them torment each other (positive)
#Always caving fer worstie dynamics and that I will never apologize for (has been and still is in one)#Bob is the lead target. I will never give this man a break. in a tough love type of way ❤️#Plus Lucy being in the loop of a relationship before she absolutely KNOWS during Bob’s crushing era he is struck HARD#Otto just finds romance funny at a certain standpoint. He’s giggling over the fact Bob managed to grow several roses around his greenhouse#even when Bob n Helmut are official they never stop. They are insufferable wingmen attached to hip and never give him solid advice#trevor.txt#oatmeal thoughts
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My adhd mum: im surprisingly good at getting up in the morning and being on time for work even tho I have adhd :)
Me who has been consistently waking her up on time since I was a child bc she "didnt hear her 5 alarms" & has had to redirect her attention to getting ready and out the door when she inevitably gets sidetracked by taking each individual hair off the hairbrush: *looks into the camera like im on the office*
#adhd#adhd mum diaries#not to mention the fact she aims for buses and trains hours before she's meant to arrive#and still only manages to *just* make it on time#i feel like I've always had to be the organiser#even when i myself am STRUGGLING bc of my own neurodivergence#i love her to pieces but it was tough
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so proud of me and how i've grown as a person. like i'm growing into not only a functional adult but an exemplary one. very surprising given my varying mental illnesses and my background
#she bork#had a kinda tough conversation w my roommate but managed it civilly and kept it friendly and still spoke my mind. shaking at the end of it#but did it anyway. credit to my bf bc he truly has taught me how important communication is and how to communicate properly and without#getting mad or losing my mind. so proud of me but i owe a lot of it to him
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