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#it will resolve the issue soon hopefully
reaj3asa · 2 years
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got home to the Homestead 2 hours ago and immediately turned the heating on
but the thing is that otherwise nobody has been here in DAYS, so there's been No ambient heat and no fresh air let into the place
so when I go down to my bedroom I can still see my breath
AAAAAAA
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bumblekastclips · 1 year
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I am so sorry for leaving the blog this long, guys. I'm gonna start working on requested transcripts now. I want to at least have two in the queue tonight.
As for why I've been gone -- there's been issues with my medications that I was hoping would have been resolved by now but haven't, and aside from that, this pain flare up has been brutal.
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rosymiel · 1 year
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the amount of clips i recorded to turn into gifs from just yesterday and today is absolutely wild
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xeneric-shrooms · 2 years
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To cope with the fact that I can't open flight rising and so might miss Rockbreaker's Ceremony: here is my Earthshaker disciple, Grondolig! :]
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Pronouns he/she ^__^
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wutaijiemei · 2 years
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i have so many talents. such as having a day where mostly only promising school things happen for me and then spending the night thinking i should rly drop out .
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aerbunny · 8 months
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ik im late to the finals but goddamn the way jackpot slaughtered duck gang, like tht was brutual
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gaystardykeco · 1 year
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unfortunately tomorrow i must confront the question: do i tell my manager in our scheduled one-on-one meeting that im probably going to quit soon even tho i dont have a 100% final offer from another job, or do i not mention it even tho ill almost definitely have a 100% final offer from another job and resign by the end of next week if not this week
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pookietv · 2 months
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silly and trivial | arthurtv
i am usually awful at writing arguments but trying it out to hopefully get better! (but because deep down i'm a softie, all ends well)
george alt of the same scenario will come soon!!
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arguments were no ones favourite thing, that was obvious.
but being stood in a stand off with arthur over something so simply resolved, so trivial as whose turn it was to do the fucking washing? you two had gone into some frenzy.
entering your shared apartment to dishes not being done was about the last thing you had needed on this particularly shitty day, and walking into your kitchen to see the grown pile, you raised a frustrated eyebrow at arthur.
"what?" he asked, his tone not too moody but definitely with a certain tone to it.
"you haven't done the dishes, still," you said, voice quiet but with a slight tinge of accusatory remark.
"you're being a tad dramatic, it's a couple of days worth," he rolled his eyes slightly, looking you in the eyes for a moment, his hair slightly messy and his stubble a little overgrown. you had both been overworked, that much was obvious.
"arthur i'm just sick of being the only one doing it! you literally have not done a load of washing in fucking weeks," you said frustratedly, your hands slipped in your own hair and fighting the urge to tear it from your head.
you both knew this wasn't really about washing - you hadn't seen eachother much, you had both been busy and tired and not enough communication had happened, which led to this - a cut throat argument about dirty dishes.
"i've barely been here! you're overreacting here, stop being ridiculous!" arthur bit back, and your eyes narrowed a little.
"oh, i'm overreacting? how am i possibly supposed to cook for us when there's nothing here!" you said, swallowing slightly, biting the inside of your cheek gently
"i've been busy! it's not easy to juggle everything you know," he paused, breath slightly bated, "look, we can just order in tonight an-" he said, before you cut him off with a wave of argument.
"we've ordered in four nights this week already, arthur. you're trying to temp fix a bigger issue here - i just want to be able to come home and cook the meal i planned to cook, without having to worry about if you have pulled your weight around the house!" you said, your lip slightly curled into a pouted snarl.
arthur hissed back, "you're being fucking ridiculous, it's dishes! stop being so fucking stubborn," he said, his voice raised louder than either of you had spoke this argument - sure, you were being bitchy and petty to each other, but his pointed and raised voice made your eyes widen a little and your head turning to the ground, biting a lip to try and stop your eyes from going misty, you hadn't heard that tone from arthur, ever. he was the most gentle and considerate guy you knew, so to hear such a asserted and snappy thing from him stung that little bit more.
hearing a slight gasp from him, like even he was surprised he had snapped at you like that, he stepped a little closer, "listen, i-i didn't me-"
"don't start shouting at me," you murmured, cutting him off. "i'm gonna go in the shower."
arthur's eyes widened a little "please don't walk away, i was being a dick, didn't mean to snap, sweetheart, i jus-"
"i just wanna go in the shower right now," you said, turning your heel slightly to try and hide your face, clearly betraying the hurt as you heard arthur sigh to himself as you left the room, the bathroom door signalling you were gone.
once you were in the bathroom, you instantly turned the shower on, the steam filling the room as you allowed your eyes to go slightly clouded, wiping them off with the sleeve of your shirt. you had no intentions to shower, but you just needed five minutes to gather yourself and not let arthur see you cry.
you felt so silly, was this something you should be crying over? sure, he snapped and he was being unkind, but you felt so childish, crying because you got shouted at.
after a couple minutes, you heard a soft knock on the door, before a more mellowed arthur, his voice soft and dejected, completely contrasted from before, "lovie? please, can hear you're upset from out here. i didn't mean to snap, i'm sorry, that was completely my fault. fighting with you is the last thing i want, i swear. i think we're just arguing 'cause we've been so busy lately, barely seen each other. we can sit down and have a talk about chores, if thats what you need. i don't want to make things harder for you, i'm supposed to make them easier, to help you." you heard him drabble on, and once he paused to take a breath, you cracked open the door slowly, facing him with a slightly red face, tears wiped from your face and a softened but still hurt expression.
"c'mere, i'm sorry," he said, arms wrapping around you easily, one hand going to the back of your head and stroking gently, "i was being a dick,"
you let out a slight soft laugh into his jumper, still a little sniffly, "i probably didn't help, i was being a bitch about something so trivial,"
"no, you're right, i haven't helped enough," he said gently.
you pulled slightly away from him for a moment, "think you're right, we were just getting snappy and short 'cause we're both tired, and have barely seen each other, seems silly 'cause we live together but we've seen each other without really seeing each other for a while, you know?" you said softly, and he nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
"i know what you mean. what would you rather do, we can order in or if you'd rather cook the pasta you've been craving i'll do the dishes now and we can cook together and chill out?" he offered gently, and you tilted your head a little.
"i can make the pasta. we haven't ate a proper meal together in a while." you said with a soft smile, "you wash and i'll dry?" you offered, and he nodded his head reassuringly.
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turquoisemagpie · 1 year
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“Hi.”
(It’s been a while since I’ve properly drawn anything. I’ve been dealing with health issues (both physically and mentally) that’s only now, after a month, started to be resolved. I’m taking things slowly, but hopefully I’ll be back on my feet soon.)
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andypantsx3 · 11 months
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SOMETHING IN THE WATER | 5 | SHOUTO x READER
SUMMARY: As a future marine biologist, you’ve scored big on your final internship: a summer in the tropics, researching the waters off the coast of a lush, sunny island. But what you thought would be all beach days and piña coladas turns out to be the revelation of a lifetime when you haul in a handsome merprince, and discover not everything in these waters is quite as it seems. TAGS/WARNINGS: mermaid au, interspecies relationships, mating rituals/courting behavior, (sort of) case fic, aged up characters, eventual smut, fem pronouns/afab reader LENGTH: 3.5k of est. 21k, 5th of 8 chapters
It was pollution. No doubt about it.
Under the lens of one of Kamui’s microscopes, the evidence was incontrovertible. The piece of white coral Shouto had brought you sported distinct traces of industrial processing chemicals that had almost certainly contributed to its bleaching, the concentration high enough that it had also probably choked the life out of the nearby environment.
It was high enough, in fact, that you were absolutely floored your team hadn’t come across even a hint of anything similar before. Based on the levels, you should have been finding at least smaller traces close to the area it came from, but nothing you’d found so far had even hinted at anything like this.
Which begged the question, just where in the hell had Shouto gotten it from?
When you legged it back down to the beach, however, both the merman and your sandwich were missing. The only evidence of his presence were the slices of mozzarella that had clearly been picked out of the sandwich, laid out cleanly on the wrapper you’d left behind.
You’d sighed and cleaned your trash up, then slogged back to your room for a shower and a few hours of sleep, stowing the coral away safely to show to your team in the morning.
When you awoke, however, you realized you would have no way of explaining to them where you’d obtained it, and no way to point them any closer to the source of the issue. You resolved to find Shouto as soon as possible to figure out what was going on, hopefully before the scheduled tour of Sunfish.
You rocketed through your morning tasks, and hurriedly volunteered to take over trap checking duty, disappearing out the door before Yu could so much as get out a reply.
You boated north to the reef where you’d first met Shouto, and jumped into the water before you’d even gotten your snorkeling gear on properly, certain the merman would somehow find you. You’d nearly finished checking the trap, kicking off the seafloor to rise back to the surface when a hand seized your elbow, guiding you back up.
Shouto’s handsome face was staring back at you when you yanked off your goggles, his distinctive hair slicked back with ocean water, the scar around his eye a deep pink in the sunlight. Sunlight glittered off the droplets on his skin, making him look even more ethereal than he usually did, and your breath momentarily seized in your chest.
“Hi Shouto,” you said, your face going hot when it came out weirdly breathy. Embarrassing.
A tiny little smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, and his fingers flexed on your elbow. “Hello,” he said in his deep, even tone.
Even that simple greeting somehow made you flush. You quickly marshaled yourself, trying to remember you had come here with an agenda, not to float here stupidly in the water, staring at him.
“Shouto—that coral you gave me yesterday? One of them has the signs of the pollution I was looking for!”
Shouto blinked, a droplet of water sliding down the side of his straight, handsome nose. Your eyes seemed weirdly glued to it as it reached the edge of his mouth.
“Then you liked it? It had…microbes?” he asked.
You nodded distractedly. “Sort of. Signs of microbial unhealth and chemically-induced bleaching. And I did like it. I think you might have actually solved the whole case for me!”
Shouto’s mouth pulled into a fuller, happier smile, just enough to bare the tops of those sharp teeth. You blinked, momentarily stunned, looking back up into his eyes to find him watching you intently.
“You liked it. My gift,” he said, something strangely smug in his tone. A little thrill raced through you, a frission of pleasure, at having put that expression on his face, that tone in his voice. Your ears went hot, and you pointedly did not think about why his pleasure made you so pleased as well.
“Yeah, I loved it,” you nodded, startled when Shouto’s fingers slid from your elbow to your wrist, lifting it up to his face.
But then in the next instant his expression shifted, his brows furrowing and the edges of his smile dipping. Instantly, you mourned the loss of it.
“But…you are not wearing it,” he said. “Either of them.”
Your eyelashes fluttered themselves in another disconcerted blink. Had…that been a requirement? Had he said that to you, yesterday?
You didn’t think you’d had much conversation between him handing over the bits of coral and you rushing off to the lab with them, but maybe that had been his expectation of what you would do with them. Maybe that was a common merperson thing, and you were too ignorant to think of it.
In fact, you hadn’t even taken the time to ask him why he’d given the coral bits to you, too focused on getting them under Kamui’s microscope like a huge disrespectful idiot.
You flushed, suddenly feeling incredibly rude. Was this a merperson custom you had just flagrantly ignored?
“Am I—? Is that something your people, um, do?” you asked. “Wear coral?”
Shouto nodded, those mismatched eyes still glued to your bare wrist. His fingers carefully shifted to encircle it, like he was replacing the expected bits of coral with his own hold on you. Your face burned and you paddled a little bit harder in the water, expelling nervous energy.
“I am so sorry, I didn’t know. Of course I will wear them, I just need to find some kind of string—” A sudden thought seized you. “Except—-well, Shouto, I need that white coral to prove pollution. I need to show it to my team, and be able to explain where I got it from. They might need to send it off as evidence.”
Shouto’s fingers tightened on you, though you noted he was still mindful of his claws. A hissing noise exploded out of him, and that scraping feeling burned at the back of your throat again, the bioelectric signal of his distaste clear enough.
“It is yours, not theirs,” he hissed, his handsome face suddenly all twisted up.
You could quite literally feel how distressed he was, and your heart throbbed with the realization that you were the cause.
You immediately backtracked, horrified. You shifted in the merman’s grip, twisting your hand to grab his wrist too, and put your other hand to his shoulder, holding him firmly.
“I’m sorry—Shouto, yes of course it’s mine. Of course I won’t give it to them,” you said, trying to angle your face to look into his eyes. “I didn’t realize—of course I will keep it with me.”
To your surprise, Shouto calmed immediately. The snarl faded from his mouth, his lips resuming their normal soft, sweet shape, and his other hand came to rest at your waist, pulling you a fraction closer to him.
“You promise,” he asked, though it was phrased more like a statement than a question.
You had to fight back a shocked laugh at how easily he’d been rerouted, and how unbelievably fleeting and childish that little tantrum had been. A prince of his people and here he was, getting fussy with you!
There was nothing for your exasperated snort, your helpless smile. “Yes, yes, I promise. But you have to help me collect another piece of white coral from where you got it originally. I promise it’s important.”
Shouto’s hands tightened on you, and you found yourself being dragged closer, so that he was holding you up in the water, only inches from the hard planes of his chest. His tail brushed against the inside of your thigh, the scales rasping lightly over the skin there. You went still, a little thrill racing up your spine at his sudden, more immediate proximity.
“You want me to take you there,” he said, his voice suddenly a little deeper.
You blinked. “I—yes? Is that…okay?”
Shouto’s eyes narrowed in on you, and you shifted nervously in his hold as his pupils went a little more slitted, a little more inhumanly focused. “It is an area of some significance to my people, though it is now difficult to get to. Your kind has begun to touch it.”
Your interest piqued. Humans had begun to touch it, alright. Judging by the chemical processing agents left behind on the piece of coral Shouto had given you, you could guess exactly which humans had touched it, too.
“Is it Sunfish?” you couldn’t help but ask, perking up in his hold.
Shouto inclined his head, a movement that brought his mouth almost dangerously close to yours. Your breath choked off in your lungs.
“Yes,” Shouto replied. “The…microbes you are interested in, then…? They are to do with Sunfish?”
You nodded excitedly, eagerly sucking in another breath. “Yes, yes! God, I’m so stupid, I should have told you earlier—anything to do with where Sunfish is operating is of interest to me. We’ve been testing the—um, the microbes to put it simply—around the area but if Sunfish has somewhere we haven’t been yet, that’s what I’m looking to know.”
Shouto looked thoughtful, and a claw trailed absently down the skin of your arm. You jumped, startled.
“Then I will take you,” he said, eyes cutting back to yours. “On one condition.”
You felt your eyebrows raise. Well that was unexpected of him. Who knew mermen knew how to bargain?
“Name your price,” you told him.
Shouto’s mouth quirked then, a hint of a sharp incisor showing, but the rest of his expression was strangely sincere. “I want dinner and a movie,” he said, a claw trailing sweetly, absently down the skin of your arm again. “Like you said humans do.”
You could feel your eyebrows escaping towards your hairline, your mouth going slack. “You want to watch a movie and have dinner,” you repeated, floored.
Shouto inclined his head, the damp strands of red and white mingling with the movement. “You said I would like a movie.”
Damn. You had said that, hadn’t you? But you couldn’t think how in the hell you were going to get Shouto to a movie. It wasn’t like there was a movie theater on this island, and besides that it wasn’t like you could just piggyback a real life merman into one.
You supposed if pressed, you could preload something on the shitty island wifi and then bring your laptop down to the beach and watch things that way. But what if someone spotted the light and came looking? Shouto could disappear quick enough, you had no doubt, but how to explain the laptop?
And then it occurred to you: the inn had a maintenance shed, just off the main office. A sudden image came to you of wheeling Shouto uphill in a wheelbarrow, getting him into the tub in your room, and setting up a few pillows for yourself, and some kind of dinner spread on the floor.
It was unconventional. But then—so was the idea of dinner and a movie with a merman at all.
You stuck out your hand, making a mental note to swing by the maintenance shed on your way back in tonight. “It’s a deal.”
Shouto stared at your fingers, seeming not to know what to do with the gesture, until you took one of his hands in your own, pumping it up and down. He held on for too long after that, those crimson-tipped fingers closing in over your own, warm and wet and strong.
“Then I will take you now, if you like,” Shouto said. “If you are ready.”
You nodded, paddling your feet a little uselessly in his hold, in eager anticipation. Confirmation of Sunfish’s activity, and the chance to see a place meaningful to Shouto and his people. It was a dream come true for any marine biologist.
Shouto let you go, following you slowly as you paddled back to the boat, swimming leisurely, looping circles around you. He helped boost you back into the boat, and then hauled himself up after you on the strength of his arms alone. The back of your neck went very warm, as you watched his muscle coil and flex as he pulled himself in, then looked at you imploringly.
“I will point the way and you will take us,” he said, slithering across the floor of the boat to slide in next to you behind the wheel. He peered at all the meters and dials interestedly, pressing a crimson claw to one.
You had to laugh at the ridiculousness of a merman sitting behind the wheel of a boat, and another wild idea occurred to you.
“Wanna learn how to drive?” you asked.
Shouto’s eyes slid over to you, turquoise and grey pinning you to your seat. “To operate the boat?”
You nodded. Another hot flush crept across your cheeks as a slow smile spread over Shouto’s mouth, those mismatched eyes glittering.
“Yes,” he said. “I should like that very much.”
You gestured him over to your seat, rising out of it as Shouto slid all that heavy muscle your way, the scales of his tail bright and fiery in the sun. He was warm and smelled like salt up close, and you tried not to take note of the way his bicep flexed as he moved to grip the wheel in taloned fingers.
You gave him a brief run through of all the meters and gauges, the fuel level meter, speedometer, the ammeter and engine hours. He seemed disinterested in all but the speed—a typical man, even if only his upper half looked it.
Then you showed him the throttle and how to turn the key to start and what degrees of movement of the wheel at a higher speed wouldn’t send both of you flying out of the boat. And then you sank down next to him, gripping the seat for safety as he started the boat, looking thrilled.
He guided the boat off the reef more carefully than you would have expected, but he grew bolder as you made it out into deeper waters, applying a ton of throttle instantly and sending you falling backwards in your seat. You zoomed across the gentle waves, horrifyingly fast, but unexpectedly smoothly for someone who had just learned. Shouto seemed intimately familiar with the island’s layout, navigating smoothly through some of the shallow channels that gave you an almost-regular heart attack, gliding easily across the waves and not seeming to catch a single one the wrong way.
A thrilled laugh bit out of you, getting lost in the wind as you sped across the sea. Shouto’s mouth pulled into a wider smile, looking pleased with himself, those sharp teeth white in the sun. You found yourself smiling, at the ludicrousness of being driven around by a merprince, and at how much Shouto looked like he was enjoying himself.
In almost no time Shouto was steering you into a shallow cove on the eastern side of the island a couple hundred meters away from where you’d laid out an observation station. As you slowed to a stop you helped anchor the boat, feeling your brows furrowing back down in confusion, the smile slipping off your face.
If there was any level of pollution in this cove then you would have known about it from the nearby observation station. You weren’t sure if Shouto had the right spot.
But as you turned back to him he pointed a claw towards the jut of the land, aiming with certainty. “There used to be a cave through which we could access the lagoon,” he said. “But it is blocked off to us now.”
You stared at him, befuddled. “Blocked off? By what?”
Shouto’s mouth thinned into an irritated line. “By some human invention—I do not know what it is.”
Your eyebrows raised. “Then—how did you get the coral out of this, uh, lagoon if you can’t access it?”
Shouto’s eyes dipped, following your words as your mouth shaped them, looking strangely intent. Your ears went hot.
“I climbed,” he said simply.
You whipped around to stare back at the strip of land rising into the jungle. You could just make out a clearing in the trees where you thought a lagoon might lay. And it was no small distance. Your jaw dropped, imagining Shouto having to drag himself over meters and meters of land to get there.
Your stomach fluttered, the white coral suddenly taking on a new significance if Shouto had gone to such trouble for it. It had to be more than just an area of interest to his people—-it more likely had to be extremely significant if this was the length merpeople had to go for this coral. No wonder he hadn’t liked the idea of you testing it, of you surrendering it and mailing it out and away, if he’d had to pull himself over land like that to get it.
And with this realization, a new, wildly disconcerting thought crept over you, an insane flight of fancy.
Was it possible that Shouto had given you… not just a friendly gift, but something even more meaningful than you had initially realized? If this was a site of cultural significance, and he’d suffered to get the coral for you—did it mean something a little bit more intimate than an exchange between new friends?
Your gaze darted back over to Shouto, sitting pertly in his seat. He struck such a handsome profile, all sleek muscle and delicately carved features, his face carefully-noted and almost supernaturally angelic. His coloring, too, was magnificent, the rose of his scar, the deep scarlet of his scales and his claws. And he was so sweet, and funny, and so very interesting. He was unlike anything—anyone—you had ever seen, and the thought of him fetching you a gift of special significance made an even more blistering wave of heat flare up in your belly.
You rose from your seat, determined to see this lagoon for yourself.
“Alright, you wait here,” you told Shouto, “I’m going to go check it out.”
He nodded, watching you closely as you went to the bag of supplies, fishing out a camera, the log book, your shoes, and a couple pieces of sampling equipment. You stuffed them all in a dry bag, rolling the top down tight and buckling securely.
“You will be careful,” Shouto intone in his deep voice, more an order than a question.
You smiled up at him, nodding your head. “Yes. I’ll be back in just a couple of minutes.”
He looked satisfied with that, and helped lower you down into the water to swim for land. He slithered off the edge beside you, sinking smoothly into the water like a dropped stone, and swam along underneath you, following you all the way until you clambered onto the sand. You hurriedly dug around in your bag for your shoes, stuffing your feet into them still sandy and damp as Shouto looked on.
Once properly outfitted, you followed the beach as it trailed off into scrub and bushes, and then into towering palms, making your way into the jungle. The sun shone brightly through the leaves, painting everything around you in shades of sunlit green, the air under the canopy thicker than on the beach. Your feet slid over the damp sand in your sneakers, a sensation you did not particularly enjoy, but you walked briskly, your curiosity leading you onwards.
In only a few minutes, the trees once again gave way to a small strip of sand, and you spilled out onto the beach of the lagoon.
It was instantly clear to you exactly what Shouto had meant. A large metallic wall dammed off one side of the lagoon, most probably blocking off the underwater channel Shouto had told you about. It had been bolted into the jutting coral and rock around it, sealing off any water flow. Around it, the ancient coral walls of the lagoon were bone white wherever the water lapped at them, disturbingly bleached of color, and you thought the scrub and the trees that had built up over the surface overtime looked a little bit unhealthy too.
Shouto had most definitely gotten his coral from here.
As you looked around your certainty grew, until you spotted the most damning evidence. Only a scant few meters away from where you had come out of the forest, there was a pipe dug into the earth, sitting about a meter above the water level of the lagoon. It was still shiny, clearly new, and it was also dribbling the occasional bit of liquid into the lagoon, as if someone were piping certain substances out and away from the rest of their facilities.
Your heart rate doubled at the sight, and you knew even as you unloaded your equipment to take samples that you had found exactly what you had been looking for.
There was no doubt in your mind that this pipe led back to Sunfish. And Shouto had indeed just solved this entire case.
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hillbilly---man · 4 months
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A list of the specific chronic illness/disability-related things in Saiki K that resonate with me personally
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(Your mileage may vary, my experiences are not universal, I recognize that some of this is kind of a reach etc etc)
The limiters
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Saiki’s powers have grown too strong for him to control, and before the creation of his limiters they were out of control and causing a lot of damage. Some examples cited include accidentally destroying his house in his sleep and having telepathy that reached all over Japan (something I imagine was many many times more distressing [disabling] than his current situation) The limiters weaken his psychic powers and keep them somewhat in check. It’s not perfect, and he still does have problems, but the situation is much worse without them.
This reminds me of the medication I take to keep my immune system under control. Before I started it, my immune system (thanks to MS) was causing lots of issues for me: it took the vision in my left eye, made it difficult to walk and use my arm for a few months, caused horrible leg spasms, et cetera. My medicine helps keep things in check and hopefully prevents future damage... But nothing is perfect. Of course, it’s a monthly shot instead of silly pink balls on my head! So that's a plus 👍
The way he struggles to control his body after Nendo removed his limiter unexpectedly
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After being hit with a shock to his system at the sports festival, Saiki struggles harder than usual to control his strength. We see him frustrated with this as he’s eating, his hand trembling as he holds his chopsticks. He tries to power through, but the issues don’t resolve.
I’m fortunate to usually be pretty functional most days (I do have my bad days though lol). However, when I go through significant stress - either mental or physical - it makes a lot of issues pop up that usually don’t bother me. Balance issues, vision stuff.. And hand tremors. Like, I was at a sushi restaurant after getting overheated at the pride festival last year struggling a lil with my chopsticks laughing at myself like “this is just like Saiki at the sports festival…”
Developing new powers unexpectedly
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A major source of stress for Saiki is being unpleasantly surprised by a new psychic ability. In the series, we see this a few times. The most notable to me is the time leap ability. He wakes up having accidentally traveled 20 years in the past (soon after it is revealed that his limiter has a defective part). Afterward, we learn when he’s stuck in the time loops with Nendo and Kaido that this time leap ability has been coming back randomly since then “As unexpected and frequent as getting the hiccups”. He spends the entire chapter trying to get control over this ability so he can continue his day as planned. In another chapter, his limiter is malfunctioning and he develops a series of useless powers that he cannot control. Clearly, the limiters are preventing new powers from developing (see my first bullet point!!)
So, another thing about conditions such as mine is that you really can just wake up one day and have some weird symptom you’ve never heard of before! I remember not long after my first big attack I was at Walmart and I just noticed that my index finger was completely numb, and it stayed that way for weeks. One time, my upper lip twitched constantly for like a month straight. Of course, more than just the relatively silly symptoms can and do pop up like that, too. For example, I had these really scary, uncontrollable spasms on my left side (paroxysmal kinesigenic dyskinesia) that happened several times a day for about a week. For a LONG time afterward I would be terrified of them coming back. It's still in the back of my mind but I'm not losing sleep over it anymore at least. Reading those panels above re: the time leap stuff reminds me a lot of that time!
Neuroplasticity and the power remover device
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When Kusuke is explaining how the power remover works, he talks about how the brain rewires itself around damaged areas to compensate. The device is designed to more completely destroy the areas of his brain responsible for the psychic abilities. Of course, the device ultimately did not work permanently. The damage it did to his brain was quickly compensated for, and the abilities returned.
When small areas of the brain are damaged (such as… due to a neurodegenerative autoimmune condition), over time the brain can often restructure to work around it. It doesn’t mean that those areas are healed, and the process is often incomplete, but that rewiring can (completely or partially) restore abilities and function that was lost in the damage. They don’t say that explicitly in the series, but that’s surely what is happening to Saiki in the final chapters! Except, you know, in a magical shonen manga way.
Resistance to the idea of needing help
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After Saiki uses the power remover device, he loses his abilities and is suddenly much weaker and less capable than he was before. He was used to being extremely independent, but this change has brought him to a place where he cannot do everything on his own anymore. In the library, he struggles to get a book off the top shelf and in the process is reminded of his new limitations. He says to himself “What am I doing…!? Just get used to it already!” After the bookcase is tipped over onto him and Nendo protects him, Saiki is upset about having to be protected when he never needed it before: “I’m so useless now…” Nendo helps him realize that getting help from others is normal.
Helping each other out is one of the most fundamentally important parts of being human, but it can be hard to accept that support sometimes. This is especially the case when you’re thinking about the prospect of needing more help than you used to. I'm fortunate to be relatively unaffected most of the time so far, but I'm still grateful for when the people I love are understanding and don't make a big deal out of it. I hate the idea of being burdensome so I'm just gonna cross my fingers and hope things don't get worse lol
Conclusion: Saiki is just like me for real and I'm DEFINITELY not projecting my own problems into him at all...
we're ignoring the 20k word fic I wrote where I blatantly projected my problems onto him for seven chapters
thanks @justmagicalgirl for encouraging me last week to post this 👍
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sarafinamk · 6 months
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Fallen Angel (Smiling Critters Space Riders AU Reader Insert) Part 2
Summary: The riders know you're addicted to the red smoke. Certain members thought they could help you during that point of your recovery, but that proves to be more difficult than they anticipated.
(This is the OFFICIAL continuation of Part 1. Please check out the talented @onyxonline for more context. Since this chapter contains a lot of sensitive topics, I will try my hardest to be respectful about this. The next chapter will be a little more light-hearted, I promise.)
TW: Blood, Injury, Near Death, Imprisonment, Trauma, Death mentions, Demon Mentions, Hallucinations, Religious Trauma, Religious Imagery and Symbolism, Religious Cults, Drug Withdrawal, Drug Addiction, Self harm, Accidental Suicide Attempt, Mental Health Issues, Slight cursing
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The next few days after your operation pass in a blur. Everyone has been trying to keep themselves occupied, holding on to what little air of normalcy still hung in the air. None of the riders have been able to fully process what could only be described as the biggest turn of events in their time fighting the war. It’s not the first time a member of the cult has had to undergo treatment. Victims that got converted due to planet invasion and nonconsensual exposure to the red smoke are rescued all the time. It is basic protocol for Space Riders. Sometimes a priest would be rescued. The story of how those members came to be priests varies. Some joined of their own free will, while others fought before the addiction made them lose the will to fight.
But you?
Archangels are infamous for their unwavering loyalty to the Prototype. They are the Prototype’s right-hand man, their council, and their second in command. Archangels eat, sleep, and breathe the Prototype and expect others to do the same. There are only a few known attempts to rescue archangels in history. The stories ended in one of three ways: they go back to the Prototype, (sometimes with a new band of “loyal” followers), they slaughter their rescuers, or they take their own life as a last resort.
Knowing that has made most of the Space Riders tense, Bubba included. The elephant has arguably been the tensest. Not even the sight of you resting in a cell with power mufflers on your wrists is enough to put him slightly at ease. He wasn’t a complete stranger to Aether magic (what others refer to as Divinity powers.) Granted, he only ever got to study this powerful and unique kind of sorcery through the catalogs, a few ancient ruins, and his team’s battles with you. Even then, doubt swarmed him with questions concerning how effective the cell, let alone the power mufflers will be in the long run.
Bubba sighs, pinching the bridge of his trunk as the signs of yet another headache emerge. That was one long argument with the Commander and council he would rather not revisit. Not that there are any that Bubba would like to recall. Dogday, despite all his good intentions, didn’t make it any easier for anyone. The two riders may have convinced the higher-ups, but the elephant knows that this is not the last time they will have this conversation with the Commander and council. The thought of that makes him take a swig from his coffee mug.
Problem number one may have been resolved for now, but now there’s problem number two: your red smoke addiction. With no red smoke to give you, it didn't take long for the symptoms to show up. Your feverish face contorts into a grimace yet again. Bubba glances at the vital charts. Of course, none of the numbers look any better than they did 10 minutes ago. He doesn't know why he hoped for expected anything different. Hopefully, the pain medication will do its job soon.
Bobby rushes back to your bedside with a cold, wet towel placed on your head. It's been a common occurrence with her ever since your operation. The "around the clock" care increased tenfold after the first signs of your red smoke withdrawal emerged. She even has the dark circles and bags under her eyes to prove it. Even when she's running on nothing more than fumes (and a few cups of coffee), she still runs around like she has had a good night's worth of sleep. Bubba can't help but sigh to himself.
The two medics are doing what they can to keep you comfortable and stable, but Bubba knows that the two of them will not be enough to help you right now. Hell, even Catnap's powers, despite helping you settle down and sleep, isn't a miracle cure for stabilizing your vitals in the long run. If Bubba wasn't tied up with diplomatic matters, he would take over more shifts for Bobby so that she could get some rest. Unfortunately, the others don't have the medical training so tasking them with watching over you is out of the question. Bubba insists on taking you to the HQ’s treatment center. Bobby refuses every time the idea is mentioned, insisting that the two of them are able to look after you themselves. That led to a few strong disagreements. Bubba may be miffed but can't say he blames Bobby for being concerned about the possibility of (1) another potential massacre on your end and (2) you being mistreated by those you’ve wronged. Unlike the two riders, however, the people at the center have the resources and training to help you.
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*MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING, PROCEED AHEAD WITH CAUTION*
You don't know how long you've been here. You can't remember. You just remember waking up to bright lights and a figure or two... maybe a few... standing over you. But then you went back into the world of darkness. Did you really wake up or was it one nonsensical dream?
You don't know.
You REALLY don't know.
It doesn't matter right now. All you know is that you're stuck in hell, and this is worse than what you grew up hearing about. Your powers stopped working, so you can’t escape. There was nowhere to run where those… things won’t find you and bring you back to your prison and torture you. Sometimes you can see the faces of your enemies before those things morphed into… something sinister. Your stomach was doing summersaults. There was a pounding in your head and chest that just won't stop. A burning tightness spread from your chest to your throat, leading you to choking and gasping at this point. This fire smoldering inside you just won’t die. All you want right now is to drop to the floor, close your eyes, and sleep. Your heavy, aching limbs beg for it, but no matter how hard you try, your head buzzes in protest.  
All you need is some red smoke. Just a whiff. Hell, just a tiny little sniff. You don't care. You just need it coursing through you right now. It'll make all the agony stop. You keep praying, BEGGING, to the Prototype to forgive you, to save you from this damnation.
Yet he never answers…
Why won't he hear you?
You know you failed him, but you didn't mean to. You would never disobey him. Not after everything he did for you. You did everything right your whole life to show your gratitude and love for him and you still ended up here-
A searing sensation from your wrist pulls you away from your thoughts. You turn it over and you see... red...
It’s so bright...
So beautiful...
And it's spreading to the white decorating your arms. Your fingers, looming above your forearm are also decorated with red. For the first time, you deliberately take in slow, deep breaths. You take in the red now seeping through the white. With shaky fingers, you slowly unwrap the soaking red barrier on your forearm. To your joy, the red spread rapidly from your bare forearm all the way down to your fingertips. Your red-stained fingers brush over your forearm, painting it with more red. At that moment, you smile, knowing your prayers had been answered. It doesn’t have that sweet aroma as usual, but it will once you allow more to spread around you. Without hesitation, you got to work on the other parts of you that were wrapped in white. Thankfully, there were plenty. You've been wrapped up in white for so long. It would look SO MUCH BETTER in red. You will do ANYTHING just to see red.
You also did have to rip out some stubborn black stringy parasites from your torso in the process. Once you managed to get every single one out, though, there was so much more red embracing you in a warm hug. It was just like all the other times. It was like the Prototype was with you again. It burned so much at first, but after some time, a cold wave of euphoria washes over your entire body. You breathe out a sigh of relief because for the first time in a long time, you can’t feel any pain. Now that there's red around you, you can finally sleep peacefully.
Much better...
Darkness begins enveloping your vision, before being dragged back by... screaming and something shattering? It's hard to tell. All you can make out are a pair of red paws being wrapped around you and lowering you to the ground. A red figure pulls you close to it, but you didn’t mind. Everything about the red figure is so warm you just want to snuggle next to it for eternity. You close your eyes, taking in that warmth. It feels so good to sleep again.
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The Space Riders decided to have dinner at Kissy’s Diner. Unfortunately, nothing on the table looks appealing enough to eat. They either stared blankly or picked at their food and drinks mindlessly. No words were exchanged amongst the seven of them, not even one of Kickin’s and/or Hoppy’s stupid jokes to lighten the mood. But what was there to joke about right now? What was there to even talk about?
Picky sighs, noticing one particular member still missing. She wishes she could say she was surprised, but that doesn’t mean a perfectly good meal should go to waste (even if everyone else’s meals have long since gone cold). The pig stands up, exchanges quick goodbyes with the six present members, asks Kissy for take-out boxes for the entire table, and rushes out of the diner. She makes a beeline the one place their missing member could be considering recent events.
It was just supposed to be a quick trip to your cell to deliver dinner for both you and Bobby. If you were going to stay here, you needed some nourishment to help recover. And Bobby, (bless the kind-hearted bear), has been so busy helping you through your withdrawal that she hasn’t had a lot of time to rest let alone take a break. She can’t remember the last time she saw Bobby leave your side for reasons that didn’t include retrieving medication and other things meant for your comfort. Not even Dogday was able to convince her to rest for a while. (Pretty rich coming from HIM if you ask the pig.)
Bobby only left for a few minutes for some water and more medication. Apparently, you were having a hard time breathing. Picky follows Bobby to your cell and when they got there, there you were with scratch marks and aggravated open wounds. Not only were there now bloody bandages laying sprawled on the floor, but you went as far as to rip out your stitches. The pig shudders remembering all that blood on you while you stand there muttering things like, “More red. Not enough. Need more.”
For as long as she lives, Picky doesn’t think she’ll ever forget that scream from Bobby before she ran to catch you. Not even the shattering of glass and ceramics can drown out the bear’s screams and pleas for you to stay awake. Picky remembers rushing for Bubba which ended up with her alerting the entire team. Dogday raced to the cockpit immediately to notify the Commander about the emergency. The others followed Picky down to your cell. When they reached you two, they find Bobby’s trembling hands pressing a bloody rag against your bleeding torso. Poor girl was barely able to keep the rag steady. Bubba, Picky, and Crafty rush to your unconscious figure while Catnap and Kickin gently lead Bobby out the cell. She protested but couldn’t escape the boys’ grasps. All she could do was watch Bubba bark out orders to the other girls, including Hoppy who oddly had been standing frozen in place, staring the whole time. Picky and Hoppy ran to and fro with whatever Bubba demanded while he and Crafty worked together to keep you alive long enough for Dogday to get you to the station.
After 11 minutes, the crew finally made it to the space station. Dogday leads a team of medics to you and… well the rest is history.
*END OF TRIGGERING PASSAGE*
All the riders quickly exited their spacecraft shortly after the medics took you away. None of them wanted to stay on the ship right now. After some time, Bobby said that she was just going to get some “fresh air.” But just as Picky predicted, Bobby is, instead, sitting outside your blood-stained prison cell, curled in on herself with her head buried in her knees.
“Bobby?” Picky settles down next to her, gently placing a hand on the girl’s shoulder. Bobby slowly raises her head. Her muzzle is wet and the cascade of tears soaking into her fur isn’t helping.
“It’s all my fault.” Bobby takes a deep, shaky breath. “I shouldn’t have left (Y/n) alone…”
Picky opens her arms and Bobby leans into the pig’s embrace without a second thought. “No, it’s not your fault. No one could have known this would happen.”
That was met with more shaking, hiccupping, and whimpering as the tears began seeping onto Picky’s sleeve. She didn’t mind at all. The pig just whispers more soothing words and assurances while rubbing circles around the other girl’s back. They stayed like that for who knows how long. (Now Picky wishes they’d invested in a clock for the cells). Eventually, Bobby ran out of tears, but she remains curled up in Picky’s arms. She hasn’t bothered moving from her spot, instead opting to stare at the metal floor. Picky can hear her occasionally let out a heavy sigh. How this girl has not fallen asleep yet despite pulling frequent all-nighters for the last few weeks is beyond the pig.
“You know… It’s not forever,” Picky began gently. “It’s just until they get better. We can always contact the facility about their progress. We can even schedule visits with them.” Picky didn’t miss the way Bobby’s frown deepened nor the way her gaze remained hardened on the cold metal floor. “Hey, they’re going to be okay.”
The only response Picky gets is a brief nod. It seems to be the only thing Bobby has the energy to do right now.
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Quick note - I can't believe this story got this much attention! Thank you everybody for your support. And again, sorry for the confusion yesterday. I didn't meant to post the draft. I was not paying attention to what I was pressing when I was editing. Sometimes I hate writing on mobile phones. 😆
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shellyroberts6969 · 1 month
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Come check out my new video. For my friends who know, my Ai video has been put in a hold with XHamster. Hopefully the issues will be resolved soon. Remember, Shelly love you 😘💋💋💋
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manicpixiefelix · 5 months
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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}
Part 22.
Summary: After mostly resolving your issues regarding Oliver and Venetia, it's much easier to enjoy the time leading up to the dinner with the Henrys. Still, Oliver seems more than a little nervous to be around you and Felix, much to Felix's ongoing chagrin. He wonders how long it will take for Oliver to take the hint.
{ masterpost }
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
A/N: 3044 words. oh yeah, its all coming together. :) i know the last few updates have been kind of spaced out, so i'd love to get some feedback from you lovely folks about how you think it's coming along now that we're in the back half.
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
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One day - probably one day soon - you'd have to tell Felix the truth about Oliver and Venetia. By that time, you reasoned, you'd have come up with a way to say it that would make him see why you hadn't called Oliver out for lying, and why you'd kept it from him. His gut reaction, like your own, was to immediately jump to the worst possible, malevolent conclusion. Based on past events, it was a sound conclusion to jump to. But Oliver's not Eddie. It was a moment of weakness, and Oliver really does love Felix. Somehow you'd find a way to make this painless, perhaps even a way to show how much Oliver cared, because that's what you'd seen, that's the why behind your own deception.
Except Felix wasn't even ready to admit out loud to himself, let alone you, or god forbid Oliver, that he genuinely felt that way about him. Even if he definitely, clearly did. But again, past heartbreak makes some of his trepidation far more excusable.
At least you have a distraction for the afternoon - not Oliver, no, he would never be so bold in direct sunlight as to do anything more than make out with you on the pool lounge. No, this distraction wasn't a particularly good one.
The NDA from your parents, sitting in your study.
Part of you knows you should probably have a lawyer look over this, but there was something about the idea of involving yet another person in your parents ongoing attempts to abandoned you that left a sour taste in your mouth. So that left you to look over it all on your own. The sticky-hot afternoon in the study wears thin on your nerves, but irritation was all that ever came of it, not upset or disappointment. Reconciling with Oliver probably had quite a bit to do with it.
Dinner is a welcome reprieve. When Oliver smiles at you across the table, there's a weight that's lifted from your shoulders are you smile back. Felix too is in notably high spirits, though he's decidedly not talking to Venetia; his parents don't seem to mind, however, as long as he's happier than when he'd started the day.
"Is there anything planned for after dinner?" Oliver asked, eyes wide and earnest as he looks around the table, all present sharing an equally confused look as if one of them may have planned something all the others had forgotten.
"Not as far as I'm aware," Sir James offers after a moment.
"Tomorrow will be quite the busy night," Elspeth elaborates with ease, "I'm sure we'd all like to conserve our energy."
"Last chance to cancel dinner with the Henrys," Felix says, already knowing it's not a real option, even after Elspeth chides him for the suggestion, that they'd already had all the food brought and extra help hired.
"Has the seating chart been organised yet?" You asked hopefully, to which Elspeth smiled when her gaze landed upon you, assuring you she'd finalised it that afternoon, turning only to remind Duncan to have it delivered to your study that evening.
"You'll be seated next to Henry of Suffolk, dear," she also tells you, and immediately you're filing that information away in the back of your mind. Henry of Suffolk, partner at Richmond & Suffolk Legal; his late wife was named Clarice, he had a daughter and son a few years younger than you... their names escaped you at that moment.
Beside you, Felix is shamelessly admiring you.
"What?" You ducked your head to try and hide your embarrassed grin.
"Just watching your mind work," he teased with a laugh which had you rolling your eyes with fond exasperation.
"So you can see the cogs too then?" Venetia giggles across the table, though Farleigh chimes in before Felix has the chance to give his sister a look.
"Surprised there's not steam coming out of their ears."
"I'm not a robot," you insisted, flustered by the attention and their combined teasing.
"Just your beautiful brain then," Oliver adds fondly, and out of sheer surprise you look up to meet his endeared gaze as he looks back at you. When had he been let in on that particular joke, you wondered? Something in the back of your mind is sure that it was Venetia, after all, she was the one who most often referred to your 'robot brain' as such, but you don't have it in you to be upset. You never do at these jokes, even though you may occasionally protest about them, they're always intended as a compliment.
And there's no way you could be mad with Oliver looking at you like that.
Dinner continues on with very little fuss after that, and you return to your study feeling much lighter than you had before. Felix joins you, complaining about how you'd spent all afternoon in here, and he couldn't bare to think of you spend all evening alone in here too. Of course he knows that Oliver will more than likely join you when it gets late enough, but he's brought a book, and has quietly claimed the sofa beneath the window for himself. These nights have never been uncommon, but this Summer has seemed especially busy at Saltburn, so you more than welcome his quiet company as the day's heat slowly burns away.
It's not long before there's someone approaching your door.
"It's Duncan," you say, mostly for Felix's benefit, before the butler himself knocks and you invite him in.
"The seating arrangements for tomorrow night's event, Captain," Duncan says graciously, giving you the faintest smile as he hands the document over and turns swiftly on his heel, practically evaporating into the darkness of the house silently.
"Still have no idea how you do that," Felix sounds rather impressed from where he's draped himself over the sofa.
"Do what?" You asked distractedly, examining the seating chart in the golden glow of the lamp.
"How you know exactly who's coming and going without even seeing them."
"Duncan was just being courteous for me," you mutter off-handily, "if I'd heard nothing before he'd knocked, I'd still know it was him."
"You know that's even more impressive, right?" Felix laughs, and finally you turn to him, only to see him watching you like he can't quite believe what you're saying. Sometimes you find yourself surprised by the Cattons, and how little they seem to understand or appreciate about the Estate on which they live.
"No, what's impressive is that I can tell what kind of mood your in half the time just by the sound of your footsteps," you tells him with a grin.
"Now you're lying," Felix snorts, shaking his head. But you continue.
"No, seriously Fi, it's not always entirely accurate, but it's pretty close; I'm not quite there with the rest of your family, but I think I know you well enough."
"That's like, stalker levels of dedication," but his smile is bright in the light of the moon, and his tone turns teasing, "do you have a thing for me or something?"
"I wouldn't go that far," you huffed a laugh, playing along with the bit.
"Shame," he sighed dramatically, "I was really hoping you did, 'cos I kind of have a thing for you."
"I wouldn't if I were you," finally standing, you sauntered over to him, smirking as he beamed up at you, thoroughly pleased by this silly little bit, "that sounds like a scandal waiting to happen."
"Call the tabloids then," Felix laughed softly as he welcomed you into his arms.
"Any stalker-like tendencies of yours I should be worried about?" You asked, settling against him, leaning into him.
"Yeah, I've got a bunch of your things in my room," Felix murmurs right before you kiss him, grinning as you do so. Things devolve from there to the two of you making out in the moonlight, giggling together, teasing nonsense passed back and forth as the moon rose higher in the sky.
"Ollie's at the door," you see fit to finally tell Felix, who looks down at you with wide, surprised eyes. Sheepishly you admit, "he's been there for like five minutes." It's getting terribly late, but you really don't want to go bed right now, or go anywhere that isn't here, in this moment. Felix snorts a laugh, face scrunching up with something close to embarrassment; he knows letting Oliver get away with this kind of thing is part of the game you're all playing, but it still catches him off guard with just how aware you were of the whole situation.
"Ollie," Felix called out, and you both heard a him start behind the study door, "Christ, mate, don't linger," he insists, righting both him and yourself to something more respectable on the sofa, but still insisting on holding you close, "come in already." You're practically in his lap.
Like a deer in the headlights, looking absolutely mortified at being caught out, Oliver pushes the door open and faintly apologises, telling you both he didn't want to interrupt.
"Interrupt what?" Felix says far too easily, smile wide and a bit coy, "nothing to interrupt," though you can hear it for what it is; nothing you, Oliver, could ever interrupt if you simply asked to join. How long would it take Oliver to realise this, you wondered; Felix is getting less subtle by the day.
"I was going to ask -" Oliver pauses, focus stolen by the way Felix presses a kiss to your shoulder, before his gaze returns to your face, your expectant smile. Felix knows exactly what he's doing, "um, was going to ask about the seats for the dinner tomorrow?" Oliver manages, "I don't... know the Henrys?"
As you stand, Felix lets out a loud, disappointed sigh, but lets you go, returning to his book. Every movement, every sound Felix makes captivates Oliver in this moment, and both you and Felix are more than aware of this. Still, you swan over to your desk, looking over the seating chart before you usher Oliver over.
"They've got you next to Ven and Lady Daphne," you show him, pointing out his place along the table, "she's Henry's wife," you add wryly, and hear Felix bark a laugh behind you. Oliver, for a moment, seems confused, gaze flicking between you both.
"Aren't all the -?"
"That's the joke, Ollie," you tell him, but he still seems too nervous to properly see the humour in it, just making a faint noise of understanding in the back of his throat. "Did you want to hang out for a bit?" You offered, "this contract's doing my head in," you flicked at the thick contract on your desk dismissively, "so I'm probably going to get stuck into something lighter, but you know we always love your company."
"Thanks, but, uh," Oliver hesitated, looking to Felix again, "I think I'm gonna turn in for the night."
"Okay," you say sunnily, leaning over to give him a quick peck on the lips, which seems to startle him, "hope you sleep well, Ollie."
"Yeah," Oliver still seems to be reeling from the brief show of affection, "you too."
"Good night, mate," Felix offers with a cheery wave.
"You going to kiss me good night too?" Oliver sounds almost dazed, and suddenly looks mortified once more, like he can't quite believe he'd said that. Felix, unphased, stands and makes his way over to you both.
"Sure," he seems to take the suggestion in stride, kissing the top of Oliver's head before he bends to quickly kiss him on the lips. For a moment after Felix has pulled back, Oliver's look at him like he's staring at the sun, and Felix is wearing a sharp, knowing smile, "'night, Ollie," he says, quieter this time.
"G'night, Felix," Oliver murmurs, making his way to the door as Felix nonchalantly reaches to take the seating chart from your hand to look it over for himself. You, however, watch Oliver go, feeling both helpless and amused all at once.
"You think if I fuck him he'll take the hint?" Felix asks quietly once the door was shut, and you'd both heard Oliver's door squeak closed for the night.
"Do you think if you fuck him you'll take the hint," you asked disbelievingly, "that man is so into you, Fi," you hissed, almost furiously wide-eyed as you looked up at him. As always, Felix responds dismissively.
"Told you I'm not saying anything until he does," Felix puts the document down, choosing instead to drape his arms over your shoulders, "we can fuck around all Summer for all I care, but you know I'm not going to hold my breath for things to get more serious unless he tells me."
"He just asked you to kiss him, Felix!"
"I wasn't in love with you when we first kissed."
"Bad example; yes you were."
"Okay, bad example, yes I was," Felix admits with a faint flush, "but for the record, I didn't think I was at the time; we were twelve," he regains his composure quickly, "but it's not like you're in love with Farleigh or my sister; yeah, I know you love them, but you're not in love with them."
"That's different, Fi, we've been fucking around since forever," you sighed, resting your head against him for a moment.
"It's not different," Felix insists, "I just-" but he paused, and when you chance a look up at him, his face is scrunched up, like he's on the verge of admitting something he really doesn't want to, "I don't want to be getting my hopes up if it's just fucking around with Ollie, you know?" It comes out far more frustrated than you'd anticipated, and though you pat his back comfortingly, you can't help but add -
"He drank your bathwater."
"He fucking watched me get myself off and didn't even do anything about it until after it happened! And not even with me!" Felix points out, sounding almost like a petulant child, "I left the fucking door open and everything!" He's pouting now, actually pouting.
"He probably thinks that if he's too forward he'll scare you off, or your parents will kick him out or something," you tried to reason with him, to which Felix groaned.
"But they won't! You saw how much they loved Eddie, fucking hell," he huffed, stepping back, now wearing a scowl. Where had this night turned to something unfortunate? "Mum would throw a fucking parade if I got a boyfriend who wasn't a cheating dickhead."
"You should tell Oliver that," you pointed out frankly, "or at the very least tell him the truth about things with Eddie, so he knows that you do more than just fuck around with pretty boys."
Everything suddenly goes very still.
"What?" There's no frown, no anger anywhere on Felix's face, just pure surprise, "do you think he thinks that?" You watch Felix re-evaluate the entire situation, giving him space to sort out his feelings, "I made it clear I'm into guys too- do you think he thinks -"
"I think," slowly, carefully, you step up to Felix, voice firm but kind, "that despite how much he's seen you fuck around with other people on campus, the only person you are actually in love with is me," Felix is quiet, looking down at you with this crestfallen look like he's disappointed in himself, "and he, like most people I'll remind you, probably assumes that if he wants you to look at him like you look at me, it'll be a competition."
"Of course it's not, that's so stupid," Felix muttered reflexively.
"I've tried to tell Ollie that," you sighed, wrapping an arm around him. Felix presses his face into your hair for a very long moment.
"What if he doesn't, though?" Comes through muffled and forlorn. You're not quite sure what he means, and thankfully Felix continues, not that he moves his face at all, "what if it is just fucking around and we've misread all of this; I can't tell him I actually love him too, I'd look like an absolute freak."
"Tell him about Eddie," you advised softly, "at least he'll get the hint that you're capable of falling in love with someone who isn't me." The reminder of Eddie would always probably ache, you're starting to come to realise. For now, however, you ignore it.
Felix hugs you tightly, and mumbles that you're probably right. Something eases in your chest at that.
Curled up together in bed not ten minutes later, neither your pyjamas or duvet are as comfortable or warm as Felix's arm around you. He's still deep in thought about the night that had just passed; when he muses that at least it was a better talk than the night before, he sounds like he's still making his mind up about that. Settling into sleep, however, you're contented knowing it was true.
The following morning feels comparatively serene, chattering away to the rest of the family about the night's coming festivities. Both you and Felix drop a quick kiss to the top of Oliver's head in passing on your way to collect breakfast - Farleigh's the only one who notices, and he rolls his eyes at you both. Venetia asks you what you'll be wearing to the event and lights up when you tell her it's the jumpsuit she'd bought you from Yves Saint Laurent for your last birthday, while Elspeth coos that you'll look just darling in it.
After yesterday morning's tenseness, getting to work in your garden, planting the flowers that had arrived for you, music playing cheerily through your little speaker, it feels like a dream. The sun is warm against your back, and for some weird reason you think you see Oliver skulking around in one of the gardens by the wall of the house. Lurking again. Probably habit more than anything else, you figured. Considering the games you've been playing with him, you don't see the need to discourage that kind of behaviour. He's by the window of one of the little libraries; you wonder what must be going on in there to have caught his attention.
Oh well, you'll ask later if you remember.
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heartnosekid · 4 months
Text
hello friends, i feel it necessary to update y’all on my condition and to explain my general absence.
over this past week and some change, i have been having a severe mental health crisis. i won’t go into details too heavily, but i’m still a little “in it”, though it has calmed down pretty significantly. to explain the severity, i was at a 12 out of 10, and now i’m at a 7 and occasionally a 6, if that makes sense. i am still debating going inpatient for the time being, just to get my meds figured out, but my mental and physical health teams are still kind of divided on the matter.
however, i feel it necessary to say, i am and have not been a danger to myself during this crisis. i had just been having a significant and precipitous physical and mental decline that was mostly anxiety and panic related, but i believe i am now on the mend, albeit going slow. medication is still an ongoing issue but hopefully within the next few days, my team and i can get that resolved and squared away.
i have received some kind messages asking if i am okay and sending well wishes, and i appreciate you all so incredibly much. you have made this more bearable for me, and i am endlessly thankful for all of you.
that said, i’m not sure when consistent posting will resume. i feel like i could begin working on requests again, but i don’t want to say it will be consistent or push myself too hard right now. especially if i do decide to go inpatient! however, the queue will not stop posting regardless of what happens because i am queued up till september lol but i will post another update if hospitalization is what i decide to do.
i love you all so very much!!! thank you for your support and love and kind words during this incredibly difficult time in my life. i will be back, hopefully soon in full swing and with amazing vigor! ☺️ i will talk to y’all soon, ilysm 💕
- ish 💕
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divinesyn · 7 months
Note
Giselle scenario based on this song: https://youtu.be/GZZluy6EXkQ?si=4OXU-DA7Kq94kaOr
hi hi! the song comes off as super chill so i decided to go with a more fluffy vibe for this one hopefully it's okay 🥺
-x-
brief: based on this song pairing: idol!reader x giselle genre: fluff with minor [useless] plot oops
-x-
AN: Sorry for the delay, been chipping away at this super slowly because of work! Didn't have much time to proof read so things might not make sense and I haven't written in AGES. Hope you enjoy :(
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Promotion periods were always considered a double-edged sword in your mind. A relentless cycle of obligations that you would have to keep up with, as a single misstep could easily break the equilibrium between your mental and physical demands. The constant glare of cameras and clamor of fans wrings you out eventually, but that was the reality of it all.
Thankfully, it wasn't you who was enduring it for the time being.
Your group had just concluded a final run of promotions two weeks ago and the reprieve was more than welcomed amongst you and your members alike. If anything it was just a few minor broadcasts and public apperances to maintain some extra momentum but those were spaced well apart where they wouldn't be cumbersome and resting was guaranteed. The only issue that you saw was, well, on your laptop screen right now.
A smile graces your lips at the sight of now raven-black hair, eyes locked on Aeri as you watch her position herself on stage amongst her members. Reflective stage paneling and idly looping graphics on the main screen bounce light across her features as you watch her eyes dart around in nervousness, but that easily fades as soon as the instrumental starts.
---
It seems that your lucky streak with promotion periods has ended, seeing as Aeri and your schedules have just narrowly missed each other for this month. Given your time was spent between a stage and at the company practice rooms, the time you and Aeri have spent together was essentially non-existent aside from the occasional video call and coffee meet. Even then those times are cut short by practices accompanied by rushed I love you's and don't forget to eat as the screen goes black. You stare longingly as she performs, making sure to send a you did amazing today text with an attached photo of your laptop screen, lips quirking down at the mismatched messages you two have sent from the past month.
As their performance ends, you wait patiently throughout the night before finally receiving a reply.
aeri: Thank you baby, miss you so much <3 aeri: Maybe we can meet up soon? Even if its a quick one? :(
---
To say the least, soon never really came.
The world seemed intent on keeping you two apart and the more you checked in on Aeri you could see her resolve chipping away. Even keeping yourself occupied was starting to become a challenge in itself and you find yourself checking your phone more often than you'd like as you sought out Aeri's attention. Despite all the posts she made on her social media you couldn't help but be more selfish in wanting to see her for yourself, something that isn't shared with her fans.
y/n: The choreo for my upcoming special clip with Haerin has been killing me TT
y/n: You guys finish with promotions soon right? Can finally see you soon
[Seen 37m ago]
Idly sitting on the polished floor of your company practice room, you gather up your belongings with a sigh as you ignore the slight aches in your body. Pressing your body against the door, the glass frame opens to a startled figure.
Equally startled your eyes track upward to a familiar face. One that you haven't seen in far too long.
'Aeri...?'
'Hey y/n'
Her voice sounds worn and the slightly concealed darkness under her eyes is a testimony to just how exhausted she is, but you can't refrain from the gradual welling of excitement in your body as you immediately wrap your arms around her. Taking note of the plastic bag she held in one of her hands, you tip-toed slightly to press your lips against hers.
'Missed you' Your lips parted slightly for you to mumble 'What are you doing here? Don't you have a schedule tomorrow?'
The nylon of her windbreaker rustles as she shakes her head with a grin, forehead pressing against yours briefly as she pulls away, her free hand resting lightly against your forearm.
'Ning and I have tomorrow free actually.' She gestures to herself with a flick of her hair 'So now I'm here.'
You couldn't help but chuckle though it fades as your lips quirk into a frown and Aeri is quick to notice the change.
'Is something wrong y/n?'
With a pout you meet her gaze 'Figured it would be better if you rested though, you look so tired'
Your hand reaches up to her cheek and she presses herself against it gently with a hum.
'Missed you too much to do that. Wanted to see you.' Her hand shakes the plastic bag with what you assumed to be food, mouth forming a lopsided grin. 'So how about dinner?'
---
You could always trust that the riverside was going to be busy regardless of the time but it was ambient enough for you two to pass through without being recognized, though the masks you two wore were just an extra precaution. Having been weeks on end without seeing Aeri you clung to her, arms looped as you braced the bite of the night air.
Exhausted and seemingly on edge for the past week Aeri found herself shedding the weight of expectations, her burdens melting away with each passing moment as you two meandered to a secluded spot to eat. In fact, it was her members who suggested that she go visit most likely tired of watching Aeri slouching around lovesick.
Masks strung around your jaws you ate in comfortable silence, littered with conversations about how their comeback was going and Aeri's plans of visiting her parents once they finished.
'You're free to come along as well you know. Mum loves having you around and I know you like bullying me with Dad...' Aeri chuckles, her breath fading into the darkness. 'Or we can hang out with the girls. Jimin said she wanted to go to those markets you mentioned a while ago.'
'Anything is oh-'
Aeri's thumb swipes at a drop of sauce from the corner of your lips before returning it to her mouth with a quirked brow.
'Oh?' She grins 'Continue baby'
You roll your eyes with an exasperated sigh.
'As I was saying,' You pause, teasingly glaring 'Anything is fine with you.'
'Three weeks away and as sweet as ever.'
Not even a beat passes as your lips meet hers, the warmth between the two of you transferring between the exchange. Surprised, Aeri quickly softened at the contact having realized that amidst the chaos of stardom, it was these stolen moments of intimacy that truly mattered. These nights of pure calm, far from the glare of the spotlight made her press into the kiss more in the hopes of savouring every second. You feel her reluctance as you pull away with a smile, heart overwhelmingly warm and full.
'For you? Always.'
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