#it would bug the shit outta me

[orcelito]

My druid has "fuckboy" written all over her

[izzy-b-hands]

I really wish blocking someone meant their stuff wouldn’t wind up on your dash at all. Like I understand why it doesn’t, but. still.

Actually, I just need to get better abt checking source urls before I reblog. I try to be mindful, but now and again I Forget and have only myself to blame lmao

[tinyspringtrap]

eughghgh ima be real I fuckin HATE it when I see a fnaf animatronic drawn as those nasty terrifying 80′s animatronics with the stupid rubber faces

those things are horrifying and you could not pay me enough, even as a child, to go near something that looked like that - why are ppl downgrading the designs to that style?? that shit is why I never went to chuck E cheese as a kid, I hated that stupid fuckin rats uncanny valley-lookin face I didn’t wanna go anywhere near that thing.

like. I keep seeing people be like ‘but its more realistic!!’ but???? that’s not?? the point?? its a fictional universe it doesn’t have to be realistic??

like it makes way more sense (imo), that Freddy’s stayed popular in the in-game universe because they didn’t have those horrifying abomination animatronics - like the missing kids would definitely be a problem but realistically where the fuck else are you gonna go when every other place has horrifying animatronics that make ur kids cry just lookin at em??

like man. I find some of the designs people give them with those 80′s style rubber faces horrifying and im a grown ass adult, my child self woulda been crying and shaking and refusing to go anywhere near those things fuck that

[wifeyoozi]

boyfriend jeonghan headcanons (sfw and nsfw) because no man will possess the same amount of beauty as him

boyfriend!jeonghan who's the prettiest thing and likes to be so for you.

boyfriend!jeonghan who unironically acts extra cute to get your attention all the time, will call you noona even if you aren't older than him.

boyfriend!jeonghan who's always teasing you and loves getting on your nerves because he thinks you looks so cute when you are all whiny and pouty like that

boyfriend!jeonghan who always carries extra lipbalm, hair ties and sanitizers for you whenever you go out knowing these are your top necessities, just in case you forget yours some day

boyfriend!jeonghan who'd be so sulky and cranky if you so much as talk to another man he gets sooooo jealous so easily

boyfriend!jeonghan who still teases you for having a crush on him after all the years you've been with him and will continue to do so till the end of the eternity

boyfriend!jeonghan who is so shameless about pda he NEEDS to be holding hands and kissing you and clinging on you like a bug whether or not you guys are in public.

boyfriend!jeonghan who is not too sneaky about sliding a hand in your back pocket and groping you not-so-discreetly

boyfriend!jeonghan who will have you crying and begging for his cock, literally invented the genre of mean!dom

boyfriend!jeonghan who can eye-fuck the shit outta you if you wear anything slightly provocative (t-shirt and sweatpants)

boyfriend!jeonghan who always wait for you to come home, even if you need to work overtime till quite late, literally refuses to eat if he's not eating with you

boyfriend!jeonghan who would hug you and listen to you rant and complain about your shitty company and your shitty boss

boyfriend!jeonghan who'll only nut on your ass and literally nowhere else

boyfriend!jeonghan who loves fingering you and edging you and teasing you and just watching you fall apart, begging him for release.

boyfriend!jeonghan who texts you constantly, will let you know all the work gossip and tmi's ranging from just dark coffee to dk burnt down the building lmao

boyfriend!jeonghan for whom you have a whole folder in your storage saved with all the wierd noises and self-invented words he keeps sending you on voice chat

Boyfriend!jeonghan who'd, at 3 pm on a random Tuesday, will send you a dick pick while you are at work and will literally whine on phone/text if you don't instantly send back a nude even if it has you embarrassingly running to the ladies room at work.

boyfriend!jeonghan who bickers with you a lot but its all friendly until one night when you had one serious fight and he walked out of the house, only to return the next morning with flowers, your fav breakfast and apologising continuously, no matter who'd be at fault because he simply hates being apart from you

boyfriend!jeonghan who would always hear out you had his friends and all his loved ones rant and complain to me about their problems but finds it really hard to open up about his own emotions, especially negative ones, until you pried him open after seeing him in distress and from then on the only person he really feels as comfortable to talk to about his emotions is you and he cannot tell you how grateful he feels to you for it.

[bigfatbimbo]

Please do continue about girldick Charlie! I want to see your thoughts!

girldick charlie x reader general headcanons —

summary — Vague, horny and self indulgent rambles about girldick Charlie… obviously

a/n — I love her so much. My problem is that no one ever requests her! Anyways, i’m eating this prompt up.

warning — smut, charlie is a switch and so is the reader in this scenario, girldick, oral, degradation and praise, NOT ENTIRELY PROOFREAD!!!

***QUICK BACKUP INFO IF YOU DIDN’T SEE THE POST!!! Basically, we see that Lucifer has the ability to shapeshift, and since i’ve already written boycunt Lucifer… and Charlie is his daughter… maybe that ability would be… passed on. No because like you would just ask her like, “Dick tonight, baby?” and she’d be like “Of course, sweetie. Anything for you!” as if it’s not a wild as fuck request. Like you’re literally asking ‘Hey, can you casually just switch up your body parts for a sec? I feel like getting fucked outta my mind.’ And Charlie is just down immediately. Anything to make you happy and feeling taken care of is okay with her. Stressful day? Feeling bad about yourself? Just horny as fuck? Your problems will be solved with Charlie’s dick and the best goddamn aftercare of your life. Because when Charlie leads, she’s absolutely a soft dom/service top. Everything she says and does is to make you have a good experience because to her, sex is not about how she feels! She is ensuring you’re having a great time at any cost. So maybe you had a super stressful day, you’re anxious about work you didn’t do or didn’t compete well enough, and it’s bugging you. She’s coaxing you into taking a break, telling you she’d take care of you. Her comforting words while rubbing your shoulder quickly turns into her on top of you, gently fucking into you with praising words. She’s rutting into you at a steady, but not rough pace, with her hands pining your wrists above the bed. And she’s going on and on, semi-coherently might I add because she’s very sensitive, about how proud of you she is, and how hard you worked, and how you’ve done everything to deserve this. And even though she’s not used to having a dick so she’s super touchy and hypersensitive, she would literally never cum until you have. Your pleasure comes first, always. But…. mean Charlie does something to me. Because she’s not easily upset, doesn’t have a temper, and is very nice. However, her demon form?? That ‘fuck you’ to Susan?? When she’s mad it’s a whole other story. Imagine the rare situation pissing her. Poking her and fucking with her, giving her kids of shit and attitude all day, and then finally she snaps. And she uncharacteristically aggressive. Her horns come out and she fuck you actually rough, with little to no mercy. But after one round she’d go back to her normal praising self, making up for her degrading words with loads of praise while she recedes into her normal gentle pace. Anyways, let’s talk about subby girldick Charlie, thank you very much. There are two roads you could take; very praising, or needlessly mean. Charlie and praise stick out to me so much. She’s always doing everything in other peoples favor. She solves other people’s problems, not her own. A little hypocritical, don’t you think. So she’s in her office overworking herself as usual, but you can’t stand that. Obviously, you go to put a stop to it. Giving her a long kiss, before whispering, “Dick today, please.” and she’d hesitate and be like “Honey… I have a lots of work to do and—“ but you’d emphasize your first point with a harsher, but not mean, strict tone, “Now, baby.” She’d reluctantly oblige, watching as you sink to your knees and pull her pants down, reading her hardening cock. “Oh, you think now is really the best time too— nngh!” she’d try to protest, being cut off with a moan as you drag your tongue across the length of your dick. After muttering about how ‘beautiful’ she is, you fully sink your mouth down onto her, taking her in. Your pace starts slow, getting used to her dick in your mouth, pulling out whimpers from Charlie as she leans back in her chair, and softly petting her thighs to comfort her. But then you speed up, and Charlie’s whimpers become loud and needy whines. She can’t help how fast she cums in your mouth. “I’m so sorry— I— Are you okay? Was that too much?” But then you fucking swallow and go back down for more. The only times you pull away are to tell her how pretty she is, how amazing she’s doing, and how beautiful she sounds

 And let me tell you, she is reeling under all the praise. She’s squirming in her seat while you suck her cock dry, all while saying such nice things. She can barely contain herself, even when her eyes go red and her horns come out. 

But, imagine being mean to her about it. Like practically demanding her dick, but this time, in a mean way. Shoving her down on the mattress and riding her dick so fast and rough she can barely take it.

And when her eyes full with tears because of the overstimulation, degrading her for being such a crybaby. “Oh please, Charlie. You can’t even handle this? Is the poor princess crying over how good her dicks being rode? Pathetic.”

And she cries even harder because she didn’t even do anything to warrant that!! But she finds it harder and harder to be upset when you’re humping her rougher after every orgasm. 

It’s fogging up her brain so bad, she can’t even ask you to stop being mean anymore, she just whines and arches off the mattress as you slam your pussy against her achey, used up dick. Now, would she call you mommy while you ride her dick in oblivion? Well with the absence of her own… no yeah. The answer is yeah. Oh, and imagine making her have a dick JUST to peg her and not give any stimulation or attention to it at all. Hearing her whine as her hands go to jerk herself off, but batting them away, telling her she needs to be patient.

a/n — Boy oh boy, do I love being mean to nice people, or what, folks? Anyways, send more Charlie requests. We as a society need more of her.

[honeyshiddendesire]

Pet Name Headcannons Masterlist

Sexy and Everyday 

A lot are redundant but like oh well lol 😂 I only have so much brain power lol 😂 🙄🙄

WARNINGS: 18+

*This is from my old account so it's the un-updated version since I first wrote it on Google Docs then like a dumbass kept updating on Tumblr lol *

This will be a MASTERLIST of snippets/one shots of them using the pet names!!!

Luffy - mami, mamas, mama, Y/N (I can not stress enough how much he would repeat your name!!) 

Zoro- woman, brat, whore, little girl, princess (in a taunting way-polar opposite to Sanji)

Sanji- my love, princess, daddy’s girl, good girl, pretty girl, mommy

Usopp- mami, babe, baby girl, baby, honey

Franky- darlin, sweetheart, honey, sweetie, baby, pretty lady

Law- baby girl, princess, my love, babe, Y/N (with how hot his voice is he would love saying your name!) 

Eustass- baby girl, kitten, pipsqueak, cock slut, bug, little mamas, cumdump, cry baby 

Killer- darlin, princess, baby girl, little one, baby

Doflamingo- dove, whore, messy girl , love (very rarely would he use ‘love’ but it would mean a lot) 

Sir Crocodile - baby girl, princess, my little slut

Smoker- darlin, sweetheart, love, honey, baby doll

Marco- birdie, mate, baby bird, songbird, little bird (birds birds BIRDS!) 

Thatch- honey, pumpkin, puddin, Angel cakes, sweet pea (food names cause he gives dad vibes 🤤)

Izou- my little cherry blossom, love, dear

Whitebeard-  love, dear, sweetheart, tiny thing, little thing, little one (anything pointing out his size and you can’t tell me no on this 🤣) 

Ace- darling, baby girl, princess, hot stuff, babe (firmly believe he will babe the shit outta you)

Sabo- my love, my dear, cock whore, dumb slut, bitch (just feel like he would love the harsh degradation 🤷‍♀️sorry not sorry 😬) 

Monkey D Dragon- love, dear, sweetheart (him groaning out sweetheart 😮‍💨)

Garp- little one, sweetheart, princess, bratty girl, dirty/messy girl, sweetie, darlin

Akainu- brat, princess, little girl, whore, cumslut, crybaby

Kizaru- lightning bug, my shining star, mamas, baby girl, sunshine (names involving light) 

Aokiji- ice princess, mama, babe, baby, snowflake 

Fujitora- wisteria, darling, my flower, rose, little peony, tiger lily (FLOWERS ALL DAY EVERYDAY!!! Whatever flower you can think of he’s calling you 😍🫶🏼)

Shanks- darlin, baby, baby girl, doll, baby doll, princess 

Benn- doll, baby doll, darling, love, princess

Mihawk- my dear, my love, naughty girl, princess, bloody princess (idk why I picture him speaking Spanish/ Italian saying princessa 😮‍💨😭🤤 idk if he speaks it but shit lol 😂 ) 

Buggy- superstar, rockstar, beauty queen, my diva, doll, clown whore, sugar/sugar bear (what you call him)

X Drake- mate, babe, baby girl, little one

Kaku- lil lady, sweetheart, darling, Raffe (short for giraffe 🦒)

Rob Lucci- Pretty Kitty, kitten, brat, whore, slutty kitty (no way he doesn't have a pet play fetish! ya can’t change my mind on this!)

Paulie- sweetie, pretty girl, darling, baby doll, princess, pretty mamas, my little whore, slut, naughty/dirty/messy girl (secret freak idc! I think he shamed Nami cause he’s a hidden pervert and she was making him feel some kind of way lol 😂 !)

King- my queen, my love, dear, little one, naughty thing

Kaido- little one, whore, brat, bad girl

Vinsmoke Bros- cock whore/slut, brat, woman, slutty puppy/kitty, good girl, pathetic slut, my little whore, mommy (hidden mommy kink!!!)

Red Leg Zeff- princess, sweetheart, kid, honey, doll, darling (old school lol )

*banner*

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Let me tell you there are people out there that think Hobie wouldn't smoke weed because doing so is a 'black stereotype'

They think he wouldn't smoke weed because he's 'too aware' and woke for that and he would never want to be dazed out and intoxicated

Let me tell you

They will believe this - even the guy has said it himself that he gets intoxicated

BY DRINKING.

AND ENJOYS IT.

And to that I say

Bro why

10,001 fics of Hobie at a pub drinking it's cool but then there's a couple of him smoking some trees and it's 'hate when ppl reduce him to a stereotype 😪'

like hey buddy hey pal

I know these statistics are American but the guys from 1978 or something

let's be real here let's be ever so real

if he admits to drinking what convinces you smoking is out of the picture?? do you really think he'd think weed is worse than liqour??

The only alternative I'll accept is he's one of those people that gets anxious while he's high

Cause it's funny to think of Hobie taking a singular hit then being like 'nah bruv that shit is scaring the hell outta me 😩 fuck is my heart racing for'

Reader having to help Hobie chill out cause he got SO HIGH his spider sense started bugging out so now he's laying on the ceiling face down doing deep breathing exercises

And the reader is like 'see that's what you get for trying to hit the bong like that'

[xtrashmammalstefx]

Chaos Monster & Her English Gent (A Callum Turner x Reader Smut)

Warnings: Smut, language, kiddos under 18 do not interact!

Notes: When I said I've become a total slut for this man and his bf Austin I wasn't fucking around. Lemme know if y'all want an Austin smut/sequel because I totes have some ideas I think you'll like.

Looking back I don’t think any of us expected this to happened. I certainly didn’t and I was the one who had the most to lose if things had gone sour rather than go the way they did.

I’m getting ahead of myself though so I’ll just start where this whole mess began: the first time I visited Austin on the Masters of the Air set. I’d sneaked up behind Austin, my best friend for life and possibly longer, as he was talking to a rather handsome man with the most unimaginably contagious smile. I put my finger to my lips once he’d seen me and jumped onto Austin’s back. “’Sup Elvis!”

“PRISCILLA?! FUCK!” Austin turned and scooped me up. “YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME BABE!”

I laughed and squeezed him back. “Well that’s what you get for taking for fucking ever to return my texts you ass!”

“Sorry ‘bout that sweetheart but duty called a hell lot more than I thought it would,” he said once I was back on the ground. “Oh,” he turned back to the smiling man. “By the way, Callum this is my best girl, Y/N, Y/N this is my new best friend Callum.”

“Nice to meet you my handsome replacement,” I said.

Callum smiled nearly bringing out a giggle from deep inside me. Fuck, he is good. “Pleasure’s all mine love, and I am definitely not replacing you. You’re more beautiful than I will ever be.”

Struck dumb by his buttery smooth British accent and killer icebreaker I turned to Austin. “He is a hell of a keeper.”

“Yeah I think so too,” Austin laughed. “So how long are you staying?”

“I’ve taken a week off work so I’m gonna be yours until about Sunday,” I said.

“Oh sweet. Can’t wait to show you off to the rest of the boys, they’re gonna love you,” Austin said as we started towards a couple other guys in period attire.

“Only until they get to know me,” I said. “Let’s see how they react once they see the true chaos monster you know and love.”

“Well, this is gonna be a right interesting week,” Callum said walking on the other side of me.

Of course he wasn’t wrong about that. The next few days were filled with me and Austin being a chaotic duo in front of his cast mates who were also quite chaotic themselves. I’m not sure how or when it started happening but whenever Austin was away either in costume or make-up, Callum and I started to talk. Barry would sometimes be there but most of the time it was just us.

“I’m really gonna miss having you around,” Callum said two days before I was due to leave. We were in his trailer. Austin was busy talking with his manager so I figured I’d bug Callum for a bit. He was changing out of his costume and into civilian wear while I hung out in his make up chair.

“You act as if you don’t have my number and social medias,” I said. “I’m heading home, not dying.”

“Well, talking with you on a phone or in DM’s isn’t exactly the same as having you here,” Callum continued.

“What can you possibly say that can’t be said over the phone?”

“It’s not what I wish to say but rather what I wish to do that can’t be done over a phone call,” he said starting towards me wearing nothing but his boxer briefs which left little to nothing to the imagination.

“And what exactly is it that you wish to do good sir?”

He smirked and started leaning down. “This,” his lips connected with mine. His plump lips were soft and warm as he kissed me. It wasn’t enough to send me off the edge and before I knew it I had my arms around him letting him carry me to the small couch. Once there he pulled back and brought his lips down to my neck. As he left what I was sure was gonna be a massive hickey I reached down and started palming him through his underwear. He groaned at the feeling, his body trembling on top of mine.

“I’m a bit overdressed don’t you think?” I breathed. He smiled and sat up. I reached down and lifted my shirt over my head. He took it from me and tossed it to the side before reaching for the zipper and button on my pants. Not even a minute later I was fully bare in front of him.

“God you’re so beautiful,” he whispered pecking me on the mouth. “So. Fucking. Beautiful.” As he started to kiss me again I nudged at his briefs, doing my best to get them off. Callum got the hint though and pulled them off tossing them with my clothes. I think he could see how big my eyes got at the sight of him for he chuckled softly and said, “Like what you see, darling?”

I had no idea how to answer. If I’d though he was big when flaccid it was nothing compared to how endowed he was when he was hard.

I looked from his crotch up to his face as he continued to look at me quizzically with that smile that didn’t seem to go away. “C’mere,” I said moving from the couch to the floor beside it. He laid himself on top of me sending a shiver through me as his dick brushed my folds, ghosting my entrance. He reached down, gave himself a tug and placed himself there.

“Okay, love?” he asked. I nodded and just like that he was inside me. I clung to him as my body got use to the stretch. Callum cussed a rainbow of curse words in my ear as I enveloped him. His thrusting began soon after.

Turns out Callum is a gentleman in every sense of the word. He kept his movements slow at first, not daring to go faster or harder without my say so. Once the stinging subsided I brought my mouth to his, kissing him harder before telling him, “Harder… I need you to go harder.” With that he picked up the pace, almost slamming completely into me. “FUCK!”

“You’re taking me so well darling, fuck!!” He took me into his arms and slowly lifted me up, still thrusting into me. I held onto him moving up and down as he sat back. I rode him like that for a while until he lied completely back, putting me in charge for a bit.

As I moved my body conscious of the fact that I could see a small bump pulsating in my lower stomach, Callum reached down and started rubbing me with his long fingers. I bit back a scream at the feeling but let him keep playing with clit. It made me feel alive in a way I couldn’t put into words and before I knew it I was riding him like my life depended on it.

We continued like that until I began to feel the pressure build up inside me. “Oh fuck I’m gonna cum!”

“It’s alright, darling, just...just let go on my cock,” he said grabbing my ass and slamming me harder on his length. The pressure continued to grow more intense, until finally I was screaming and tightening around him. As I remained clamped down on his length Callum wrapped his arms around me and flipped us back over so that he was on top.

He continued to thrust as I came down from the most mind boggling orgasm of my life. I was still seeing stars when Callum’s thrusts became sloppy. Suddenly the gentle boy I’d been falling for became beastly, almost roaring as he twitched inside me, filling me up until there wasn’t a single drop left in him.

My body was still shaking, my cunt throbbing, as he pulled out and collapsed beside me.

“That was… incredible...magical even…”

“It was the best damn shag of my life,” Callum said breathless making me giggle. I turned my body to face him and cringed at the soreness between my legs. “You alright love?”

“Mentally and emotionally speaking I’m fucking great,” I said. “Physically speaking...fuck… Callum, I love you with every fiber of my being and will gladly do this again and again with you but god damn I think you just about broke me in half.”

He laughed at that and kissed my now swollen lips. “So, you agree then? To be my girlfriend I mean.”

I looked up at him and smiled. “I’m pretty sure I’m more than that. I mean, I did just say I love you, and lord knows those are words I don’t say to just anybody.”

“Just to the lad who shags your brains out?” I slapped him playfully on his chest. “Only joking darling. I love you too, and I don’t say those words to just anybody either.”

“Just to the girl that rode you and milked you for every last drop of cum in your body?”

“Actually, I believe I just said them to the girl I want to marry.”

“Quite the fast one aren’t you?”

“Only when I know deep down in my bloody heart and bones that I don’t want to do this with anyone else,” he said.

“Alright, but there’s something we gotta do first… Something pretty damn risky.” He looked at me questioningly.

“And that is?”

I looked up and smiled nervously. “We gotta tell Austin.”

“OH FUCK!”

[auckie]

You know foghorn leghorn the type of guy to come home late after a night of drinking and stand ominously in the dark hallway backlit by the front porch and see that there’s like. One cup in the sink and he says ‘I say— I say— I said how many times. Have I done told you.’ In an eerily calm voice, then he raises like 200 decibles outta nowhere ‘TO NOT LEAVE NO DAMN DISHES IN THE FUCKING SINK FOR ME T’COME HOME TO WOMAN?!’

Or like to be sitting in his favorite chair with the tube tv flashing, giving him an opposing silhouette and just like that terrifying gif of uncle phill like zooming forward he just is suddenly up out of his chair John Goodman yelling. Like he’s scary as shit. He might wear a white antebellum lawyer suit during the day but I can just as easily see him wearing a wife beater and work boots come nightfall. and then just backhanding me so hard that I crack the drywall where I hit. I’m so scared of him. But that’s also why I picked him for marry in todays hypothetical FMK posited at work, because it felt like a horrible tragic Tennessee Williams play and also the other options were bugs (fuck, he would make a horrible husband) and porky (kill because I can’t fix him, and he can’t fuck. He only makes love. He watches bugs and daffy from afar and wishes he could be bugs so badly so daffy would want him back. and I know he would be thinking about it with someone, anyone else. Also I would probably like. Turn into foghorn leghorn if he expected me to top him.).

[cherry-cola-on-ice]

Can you write a story that has Thomas Hewitt getting jealous at a guy flirting with his S/O please love your work🙏🙏🙏🙏

Jealousy Jealousy

It shouldn't bug him so much. Especially after all this time.

It wasn't your fault after all. Anyone with eyes could see how beautiful you were. Everything about you was crafted by some higher being, sculpted from the stars and the skies. And you were so sweet, so kind. You brought a smile to even Uncle Monty's face.

And most of all, he knew you loved him. He repeatedly told himself, saying it over and over again in his head like his own personal mantra. As long as you loved him, he didn't need anything else.

Thomas's eyebrows furrowed as you laughed at the joke. He couldn't tell you jokes. But this stranger could. This handsome, younger man with perfect teeth and perfect hair. He looked like one of those men on the front of the harlequin novels Hoyt steals out of suitcases.

You laughed again, head thrown back. God, you were perfect. Too perfect for him. This stranger was the type of man you deserved.

From the back room of the gas station, Thomas shifted his weight nervously. He knew he should have left you at the house. It was a bad idea, just like Hoyt said. You brought to much attention to yourself. Unknowingly and unwittingly, of course. Never your intention.

But you had a magnetic power around you, drawing people in.

Your soft eyes were what made him fall in love with you. When his family first found you, hiding out in their barn, crying your eyes out, he felt a pang in his heart that was new to him. You looked scared and you were alone. Everyone else had left you, all meeting their ends by his chainsaw.

He asked you why you didn't struggle and you always shrugged "I guess they were never really my friends to begin with. They tried to leave me for dead. "

And he didn't question it at first. After all, it all brought you to him. You were his now.

But-

You should hate him. You should fight him. You shouldn't be able to stand the sight of him. You were better off with this man, this stranger who could give you the life you deserved. The overwhelming feeling of despair hit him like a shot to the stomach.

But then you turned to him. And smiled. That sweet smile, the one that lit up a room and light up his life. And it was directed at him. It was his smile.

And for a moment, all was right in the world. You chose him.

But then-

"So, I gotta wonder... What's a sweet thing like you doing in a shit hole like this?"

From afar, Thomas could see you bristle, your demeanor change from jovial to defense "What's that supposed to mean? There's nothing wrong with here."

The stranger laughed "Yeah, it's cute in tetanus shot kinda way. But nowhere such a hot piece of ass such as you should be. "

Thomas ought to punt this creep straight into a grinder. His fist balled up and he began stalking towards him-

Except you beat him to the punch. Quite literally.

The stranger fell to the floor, holding his bloody nose. Whimpering. Thomas was surprised, he didn't think this guy would go down that easily. The man wasn't as tall as him, but he was still a sizable man. And you floored him.

Looking back to you, he watched as you shook your hand out, cursing under your breath "Fucking hell, dude! Your face made out of concrete?!?"

"YOU BROKE MY NOSE, YOU BITCH!"

"Yeah, and I'll do it again if you don't get your ass outta here!"

The man, holding his bleeding nose, lifted himself off the ground, shooting daggers at you. Instinctively, Thomas placed his body between the two of you, glaring back at him.

The stranger, though looking absolutely terrified, feigned confidence and scoffed as he walked by. You grabbed Thomas's arm, shouting as the stranger left the store "Yeah! Get out here, you-"

Thomas spun you around, grabbing your face in his hands. He looked you over, looking for any signs of harms. You scrunched your nose "I'm fine, Thomas!"

Thomas huffed, pulling you close to him. You laughed in his arms, standing up on your tip toes to press a kiss to his mask. Thomas looked down at you, taking in the lovestruck look in your eyes.

Yeah, he had nothing to worry about.

[whore-era]

delinquent!ellie williams headcanons 18+

has the MEANEST MUG FACE at everyone but her close loved ones, especially you. she shows you the softest side to her bc you naturally just draw it out. ellie will literally have the grouchiest face, but once she sees you, it will be all soft heart eyes around you and you only! everyone else though? fuck them. they will get a bitch face and a middle finger thrown their way!

is guilty for always manspreading, but it's okay because it kinda stirs something inside you anyways. you guys will literally be anywhere, and she'll sit with her legs spread with her hands behind her head and you'd find yourself walking over and plopping yourself on her lap.

is extremely territorial and possessive of her girl, but not in a way where she's controlling you by any means. ellie is aware of how gorgeous and sexy her girl is, and while she has no problem with others looking, she draws the line at people approaching you. you would be at a party, talking with your friends, occasionally looking across the room at her. while giving each other loving glances, some guy approaches probably saying "hey girl, you lookin' finnneeee as hell tonight, you wanna get outta here?" and she'll already be behind him, fists balled up and hissing, "get the fuck away from my girlfriend."

would absolutely beat someone's ass for you. if someone is disrespectful to you or looks at you the wrong way or god forbid, lay their hands on you, it's automatically on sight for her. "but you should'a seen the other guy, babe. he's got it worse," she'll say, as you're sat on the sink with her in between your legs, tending to her small cuts and bruises. "what'd i tell you, els? you can't keep getting into these stupid fights because one guy says something dumb about me." "yea, baby, i know. i just hate when people say shit about you," she coos, "you're absolutely fucking amazing, and everyone should know that by now." you both end up kissing in the bathroom and it always ends up with you being bent over the sink taking her strap-

you would CONSTANTLY be on her ass about everything. since she does have a short temper, you always find yourself having to check her and and lecture her a bit, and she lowkey kinda loves it? ellie thinks you're hot as hell taking a little bit of control and telling her what to do, and every time you do have to lecture her, she'll look at you with desire in her eyes and respond with "yes, ma'am", "alright, baby, whatever you say", "mhm yes, baby m'listening" even though she quite literally is hyper-focused on how sexy as fuck you look lecturing her rn.

always putting her hands on you! whether it's rubbing your ass when she's cuddling you, holding your hand when you're out and about, or putting her hands on your hips and waist when she wants to be close to you. 

showing how she feels about you in actions rather than words. ellie has a tough time expressing how she feels for you directly in words, and sometimes her message that she’s trying to send doesn’t always sound…right. so she’ll do little acts of services for you like picking up lunch for you on days when you’re extremely swamped with work and assignments, organizing your books and backpack when you fall asleep on your desk from studying, picking up your favorite snacks when you need a lil cheering up, and helping you take off your clothes when you’re extra exhausted from the day. 

always assuring you’re safe. ellie will always make sure you never have to travel alone and tries to walk you to and from class, but if she’s busy she’ll bug dina to do it. she’ll always ask where you are and who you’re with just to make sure you’re safe and alright, periodically checking in with you with texts (even tho it can be a lil bit annoying but u never say anything bc u know she’s just worried). baby u ok taking the bus alone? yes els i’m fine babe. u sure? i can come get u rn. no my love u don’t need to do that. swear. yk what babe let me ask dina if she can- ellieeee….

a/n this one was rly short my apologies ;P

[samthestrangerthingsfan]

Out of The Woods

pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

summary: Hawkins is home once again, and you're determined to keep your peace. The past comes calling.

chapter warnings: slow burn, motherhood, swearing, childhood trauma, fluff, sweet sweet memories and friends bonding again. <3

a/n: I don't want to give spoilers, but we may or may not have a run-in with a certain metal head in this chapter! :O (just a taste, a lil treat bc you've all been so good.)

chapter 3: Silver Springs || series masterlist

NOVEMBER 4th, 1983

Friday was the best day of the week.

Sure, weekends are great, but Friday night meant movie night at the Munson’s.

“You better not make her watching nothin’ scary, Edward.” Wayne huffed, grabbing his choice of cap from the wall, as well as big winter coat.

Eddie’s hand flew over his heart. “I would never! Not so close to the holidays!”

You threw a piece of popcorn at his head as the laughter bubbled from your chest. “Holidays? It’s not even Thanksgiving!” Eddie motions for you to keep throwing so he can catch one in his mouth. You oblige, but not without a protest of your own. “I would like—no, I demand a comedy.”

Eddie bowed to you, peering up and showing off the piece of popcorn he’d caught at the last second “What m’lady wants, she shall receive.”

The trailer door blew out of Wayne’s grip as he opened it, “Christ, it’s freezin’! Turn the heat on, boy. Your date is gonna freeze to death.”

Eddie gives you a knowing look. There’s no point, his eyes send the message loud and clear. The two of you have told Wayne dozens of times that you weren’t on dates, you were just best friends hanging out.

He didn’t buy it.

“Why does she get the heat? Pretty sure I got frost bite when I got outta the shower today.”

“Because,” Wayne slid his hands into a pair of work gloves as he walked toward you. “I like her and I want her to keep comin’ around.” He bent down, and kissed the crown of your head.

You protested, “I don’t wanna bug you—“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Eddie teased. “Ya know you say that a lot?”

“It’s the truth!”

“You could never bug me—ever. Even if you could, who cares? Not like it’s a bad, it’s a good bug you reserve just for me; my bug.”

Your eyes seemed to roll of their own free will, “Eddie.”

He dropped down next to you, putting a hand on your upper thigh as he offered you a twizzler. “Yes, Bug?”

Neither of you had noticed when exactly Wayne slipped out.

You’d compromised that night. Ghostbusters, a little something for the both of you.

About 30 minutes in, Eddie looked at you. He took in how you laughed at something Bill Murray said, how the sound bubbling from your chest made your nose crinkle.

God, he could listen to that sound all day.

When you turned to him, he panicked. Standing quickly, “Uh, shit…here,” he said, not knowing where the hell he was going with the sentence.

Eddie looked around for a moment, what felt like an hour for him was surely only a few seconds. He ended up grabbing Wayne’s old Polaroid camera from the shelf. “C’mon, we gotta take a picture.”

You smiled through your confusion, “Why?”

Eddie shrugged, “Because we never do! And I wanna remember this even when we’re so old we can’t remember our own names.”

“You want to remember a randoms Friday night?”

He nodded. “If it’s a Friday night with you? Always.”

The whirr and click of the camera went off before you knew what was happening. “Eddie, I wasn’t ready! I’m gonna look like a fucking Goblin!”

The timber of his laugh made your heart race. Eddie pulled the film from its slot beneath the lens. “Don’t sell yourself short, Bug. Troll maybe, but never a Goblin.”

You elbowed his ribs at the exact moment he connected with the couch.

“Oof.” He laughed. “C’mon, smile?”

“Fine.”

Eddie put his arm around you, pulling you in close. A second later, the flash blinded you both, leaving you dazed and giggly for the next minute.

You held out your hand, and gestured to where the photo of the two of you was laid out to develop. “Let’s see it then.” You demanded.

Eddie pulled it off the coffee table, looking at it before he handed it to you.

He wasn’t looking at the camera, no. His eyes were on you, and he was smiling harder than he’d thought was possible.

He saw how you were leaned into him, your hand holding his as it draped over your shoulder, the light behind your eyes, the smile he couldn’t get enough of.

Eddie felt it then.

So immediate and sudden it felt like his heart got struck by lightning, and it was then that he realized two things:

That this feeling, whatever it was, couldn’t possibly end well.

And two?

He is so fucked.

It became easier to breathe.

You hadn’t realized just how suffocating life here had become. To be back in Hawkins and still feel like you were hiding and alone. Though now, and in the weeks since you’re run-in with Robin and Steve, it all got a bit brighter and a little less heavy.

Steve was committed to putting the past behind you, a sentiment he all but drilled into your head the first night he visited Maggie and you at the house.

“You did what you thought you needed to do to make it. You’re back now, though. Let us be there for you.”

He also became Maggie’s own personal jungle gym. Whenever they watched a movie or had a snack together, your daughter could be found on top of him in some way. They especially enjoyed watching cartoons on Saturdays; Maggie perched on top of Uncle Cheeseball’s shoulders, because according to her it was the ‘best seat in the house.’

Robin couldn’t be deterred either.

She’s over at least three nights a week now, and Maggie is obsessed—like, seriously obsessed. It’s the sort of bond you watch from afar and admire, the way your friend opened her heart to your daughter. How she’s protected her innocence and encouraged her silliness.

Kids aren’t exactly everyone’s cup of tea. They’re loud and messy and demanding in a totally innocent way. They require you to think before you act and never put yourself first. It’s why any dates you’d been on over the years hadn’t worked out, most people disappeared after they learned of her. Not that you cared, Maggie was number one in your life, and you were damn proud of that.

But now here you are, the life you had been convinced you’d never have was happening before your eyes.

“And ya know what else, Miss M? Your Mom fell right on her butt and slid all the way down the hill!”

Maggie’s laughter echoed off the your living room walls.

“Hey! It was December and Hillcrest is notoriously icy when it snows!” You feigned insult, and tickled Maggie as her laughter multiplied.

“Mom! That’s so silly! How'd you stop sliding?” She questioned.

Robin’s eyebrow quirked up, “Yeah, how did you stop sliding?”

You sighed, embarrassment painting your face. “Steve—Uncle Cheeseball had to catch me.”

The two of them howled with laughter, “Yeah-yeah, laugh it up. I don’t like this, you’re in…cahoots!”

“Excuse me!” Robin objected. “I am a responsible adult!”

Maggie stood with her hands on her hips. “Yeah! Me too!”

You leaned down, kissing her forehead. “Alright, well, it’s bedtime for all adults and former children.”

Maggie whined, but let out a yawn mid-grumble.

“See? Proof.” You booped her nose. “Go on, you have school tomorrow. Teeth, pjs, bed, okay?”

Maggie hugged you, “Okay, Mama. Goodnight, Robby! I’ll see you on Friday for pizzas!”

She ran the few feet to your friend, and squeezed her. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, kiddo.”

Maggie, by the grace of God, listened. She was so worn out from laughing and dancing and playing with Robin that she crashed as soon as her little head hit the pillow.

“Want me to take the trash out on my way?” Robin asked, hands full of the nonsense she’d brought along with her.

“Is there a 3rd hand in there I don’t know about?” You nodded towards her, “No, Robs. I got it, I just gotta do the dishes first.”

Robin smiled behind you, relishing in the gratitude she felt having you back. “I-I’m so proud of you.” It was a near whisper, and when you turned to your friend, she had tears in her eyes.

“Maggie is…she’s so cool! And you’re obviously an incredible Mom. I’m just, I’m sorry you felt like you had to stay away.”

Your own eyes burned at that. You walked to Robin and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry too, I’m sorry I didn’t call, or write…I just didn’t know how to—to be here.”

She nodded into your embrace, adjusting the items she cradled. “Well, you’re here now. Anything you need, say the word and I’ll be here, Steve too.”

You pulled away, “I know.”

Robin grabbed her keys with the few fingers she had free. “I don’t mean to ruin the beautiful moment of love and friendship, but have you thought about...him? About what’ll happen if you see him again? I mean, Hawkins isn’t exactly a big town.” She avoided using his name, and that didn’t go unnoticed.

It’s all I think about.

Fingers toyed with the hair tie around your wrist, “I wouldn’t even know…” your voice faded out. “I’ll cross that bridge if and when I come to it, I’ve been here for a while already, and haven’t even heard anyone mention his name.”

That was true.

Everyone used to talk about Eddie Munson. The troublemaker, the cult leader, the devil-worshipping freak. The boy who was corrupting you, and ruining your future.

These backwoods hicks had no idea just how good he was back then. How kind and gentle and full of courage he was. You couldn’t understand why they hated him, not when you found it so easy to love him.

“I didn’t wanna upset you—“

“You didn’t,” you’re quick to reassure her, “it’s a logical question, and sure, maybe I’m avoiding the subject, but I appreciate you looking out for me all the same.”

Robin shrugged as if it was the most simple thought in the world, “Always.”

She left after an additional 5 minutes of arguing about helping you clean, to which you would not allow.

Cleaning up after a long day, while exhausting, was your only time to yourself. It was the one part of the day Maggie wasn’t asking something of you or looking for something or covered in something sticky.

Why is it always something sticky?

The dishes were done, and the counters were clean. You plopped on the couch, and turned on whatever the tv was playing at this hour and had just begun to fold the laundry, when the stink of the trash left by the door nearly had you retching.

“Nope, not waiting til morning…”

“Steve, Steve…” Eddie laughed.

The boy threw his hands up in frustration. “Eddie, I’m serious!”

Eddie slapped his friends shoulder. “I appreciate the worrying, pal. I’m fine, I had one beer let’s see…” the metal head looked at his watch, “an hour and a half ago. Why the sudden concern about my health and safety, hm?”

Steve blanched at the question, stumbling over his words. “T-There was an accident tonight! Drunk driver hit the pole on Cornwallis. Cops everywhere, ya know?”

Steve knew exactly why the thought of Eddie getting hurt or worse was suddenly a new phobia he developed. He had just hoped he’d hide it better than this.

Eddie sighed, “Great,” and stood, grabbing his keys out of his pocket, “back roads it is, gonna take me 20 minutes to get home now.”

Steve stood too, causing Eddie to glance back. He pinched his friend’s cheek, “Would you feel better if I called you when I got home, Stevie?” Eddie mocked, pouting his lip.

Steve pushed him away, “Shut up, man. Fine, that’s the last time I give a shit about my friends.”

Eddie laughed, “Nah, I appreciate it, Harrington. I’ll see ya on Friday right? Still looking your car over at the shop?”

“Yeah, yeah. See ya Friday.”

Eddie left Steve’s apartment smiling to himself.

What a good dude.

By the time he hit Cornwallis, the detour was worse than expected. It took him down several back roads and side streets Eddie is usually able to avoid all together.

Not to mention Forest Hills trailer park is on the opposite side of town from Harrington’s place. Eddie is usually able to zip down Main Street to save some time, but with Cornwallis a no-go, it was an addition pain in the ass to avoid the one-ways.

“Oh come on.” He griped. The car in front of him was going what seemed like negative miles an hour. He whipped the wheel to the left, evading the current route and instead, opting for an old way he remembered like the back of his hand.

Even in the dark.

It was eerie. To be on this street that he'd driven hundreds of times, knowing it wasn't leading to you.

He could practically see you, the way you’d sit on the curb until he got there, bag packed with your essentials for a few days. Wanting to get the hell out of this place before your Dad came-too.

The street was dim, lit only by the few flickering street lamps. He attempted to drown out the glimpses of the past, turning up the radio, and blasting Crazy Train so loud it made his windows shake.

Six houses away.

It was a subconscious entity; these memories shouting from the void and demanding to be remembered.

Three…

The porch light to your old house was on. “Huh…weird.” Eddie whispered to himself.

His van was barely at your mailbox when he slammed on his brakes, nearly getting choked by the seatbelt. He skidded to a stop, and killed the music.

Either he’s high as a kite, or it was you. Standing right in front of him as you dragged the trash can to the curb.

He’s hoping it’s the former.

You, rightfully so, looked like a deer in fucking headlights. Jumping back when you heard the screech of his tires.

But you know that van—you’d know it simply by the way it sounded coming down your street or by the shape of the headlights shining through the Hawkins fog.

The rusted hinges groaned when the drivers side door opened. Eddie was moving, but he wasn’t sure why. Not when very fiber of his being was screaming at him to stay in the van—to keep driving. Did he listen?

Of course not.

Eddie Munson says your name so softly and with such disbelief, it almost sounded like fear coating his tongue.

You, unlike the boy—man before you, were frozen.

That was the first thing you’d noticed. Eddie still looked like…Eddie, just a manlier—a more rugged version of the boy you’d loved.

He had five o’clock shadow covering his jaw. Cheekbones that were more defined, the hollows more pronounced. His hair was shorter, shorter than you remember it, anyway and he wore boots—work boots. Gone we’re the torn-up Goodwill sneakers he’d saved up weeks to buy.

He was in a black henley and dark wash jeans, though he still had his signature wallet chain and denim jacket.

Your heart slammed in your chest. Your dinner churned in your belly.

You could go. You could turn around and ignore him, walking back into your home and do exactly what he did to you.

But you wouldn’t, you’re better than that—better than him.

“W-Why…what are you doing here?” He half-mumbled.

“Minding my own business.” The strength in your voice surprised you.

Eddie was quiet, very uncharacteristically so, before he shook his head…presumably in an attempt to sort out his thoughts.

“But you’re, you’re here. You’re in Hawkins.” You could practically see the proverbial egg shells he was walking on.

Was he…afraid of you?

Good. You thought. He should be.

You crossed your arms, “Nothing ever did get past you.”

He was stuck. Quicksand was pulling him down, holding his body tightly and dragging him into the Earth’s core. He couldn’t breathe, he was dying.

At least that’s what it felt like.

Eddie cleared his throat. “How, um, how long—“

“A while.” You interject.

How long had you been here? How long were you staying? It didn’t matter, the answer is the same.

“And you’re staying here.” He nodded to the blue house he’s rescued you from hundreds of times.

“I don’t see how that’s your business.” You we’re cold, colder than he’s ever heard you.

Eddie took you in now. You were the same in every way that mattered. Older, sure…but still you, and for that, Eddie couldn’t be more grateful.

You had new smile lines. Were you happy? He hoped to whatever God was listening that you were.

“It’s not, shit. I—I know it’s not. I just didn’t know—“

A noise from inside the house startled you. Your head whipped around, fast as lighting.

Shit. Maggie.

“You okay?” He asked.

No, no, no.

Ignoring him, you turn and start walking back to the house, when Eddie calls your name again, not daring to move from where he’d planted his feet.

You all but spit at him, “Leave, Eddie. There’s nothing left here for you.”

And you meant it.

When you were safely inside, you check Maggie, who was sound asleep.

The noise must have been the door, or the wind, but it scared to half to death.

He didn’t deserve to know her, and maybe that’s selfish, but you aren’t ready to share your daughter yet.

Not with him.

Who knows, maybe you never will be.

[tang3r1n]

still on my shitty dabi kick and i think i struck a chord with @mostlyheinous so here’s random ass shit i think a deadbeat bf dabi would do

18+, hard dubcon, gaslighting, manipulation, smoking, forced drinking/taking of drugs, dabi purposely makes you have a bad trip on acid, unprotected sex, anal (referenced plus a thumb in the stink) i’ll add more idfk

kay first off, along the smoke vein, dabi would absolutely threaten to put his cigarettes/blunts out on you if you keep crying (openly, he loves watching you cry all quiet n sniffly)

he’s also no doubt changed you around the apartment with bugs/gross shit just to make you squeal and beg him to put it away

“baby it’s jus’lil beetle~” while waving a fucking 4in long roach he found outside in your face, “gimmie a big, sloppy kiss and i might throw Jeffrey away, as much as it pains me to.”

constantly making you exchange physical/sexual acts for practically basic respect

“show me your pretty tits and i’ll let you go hang with those stupid cunts— no i’m not gonna stop callin’em that, they’re dumb cunts.”

loves making you suck him off right after work, still all musky from the day, his cock even more salty from sweating all day (scent/smell kink is my fav im SORRY.) plugging your nose and jutting his hips out harshly to make you gag and cough around his cock, the sinfully wet noise making him groan out a chuckle as he watched you cringe

any and all attempts to change his behavior end with gaslighting and fake hurt plastered on his face as he breaks your fucking back in bed

“ungh- you’re such a fucking good girl f’me.. i love your, pretty, im so sorry you feel the need to accuse me of such things- god squeeze my dick like that again, fuck yeah- i..uh- gonna make you cum so hard, show y’how this noisy cunt ‘sall mine..”

steals your panties and jacks off with them right fucking in front of you, dick swinging and balls out as he strikes himself with your panties pressed against his face. his bright ass blue eyes piercing into you while he noisily huffs in the smell of your pussy and licks up the crotch of them like the perverted degenerate he is

oh and when you try to break it off, setting him down to explain that he is just..too much.. for you, he goes ballistic.

grabbing you by the hair and dragging you to the bedroom, placing you down still surprisingly softly as he ferociously tears off your clothes and starts eating you out like his life depend on it (idk to him it might, he’s a loser)

once he’s got you all whiny and soft after a few mind-shattering orgasms, he’ll start coping and trying to slip you back into the haze of his glaringly obvious manipulative love

“don’t say stupid fucking shit, pretty, jus’cuz y’on your period or what-the-fuck-ever is going on in that lil head don’t mean you can treat me like this.”

hell chastise you while he fingers you, fingers blurred as he finger-fucks you dizzy, fishing his cock outta his dirty jeans and scoffing as you whine and cry again, shuffling up the bed

he pulls you in again by your ankles, a scarred hand quickly silencing you as it softly pressed against your throat, a silent threat, as he spoke patronizing words to your sex and lust filled mind,

“just be my good angel one more time, pretty,” he forces a crack in his voice, flexing his throat so he sounds tearful and sad, “i just..i love you s’much, wanna show my pretty girl, my everything, how much she means t’me,”

the second you nod he’s grinning manically and flipping you over, forcing his cock into your wet cunt and rabidly humping against your ass, dick barely leaving and inch before pumping right back in as deep as it’d fit.

he’d spit on your other puckered lil hole, making your cry and squirm yet again as he pushes his thumb against it, gut burning with lust and a perverted sense of affection

“no- nononono angel- calm it down, i jus’wanna feel your cute ass ‘round me, promise it’ll just be my thumb— yes pretty i pinky promise

(he ends up cumming in your ass i don’t make the rules mb)

other than failed breakups and gaslighting, dabi also likes getting his pretty wasted

like… really wasted.

dabi’ll give you shit after shot, even making you sit pretty for him while he spits Jack Daniels into your awaiting mouth

he spikes literally all drinks he makes you and it’s so obvious but he just tells you it’s to ‘loosen your bitchy ass up,’ but in his own special, joking tone.

cut to you blowing cum bubbles while you suck him off, completely drunk, head dizzy and body fuzzy as he records you almost mindlessly salivating over him.

“say hi to Shigaraki f’me, pretty, little bastard is gonna love seeing you all horned up and slutty~”

he also shotguns his blunt/pipe/bong hits to you—never lets you hit in your own

dabi loves it if you sit on his lap during this too, a rare domestic scene of you both just vibing and grinding, soft praises and touches that feel unreal coming from him

the he ruins it by slapping your ass and making you cook him dinner

wait i had a funny idea hold on

“babe can we please go see my momma today— it’s just that it’s m’birthday and you made me skip it last year..”

“pretty, that bitch hates my ass, why would we go see someone who hates us?” (notice he says ‘us’ anyways)

[cut to momma glaring at dabi the entire time they’re over and throwing shoes at him once he opens his fucking mouth]

kay that’s all for now ig

wait

sometimes when you’re falling asleep you can hear him obsessively rambling and mumbling abt how much he loves you, how disgusting everyone else alive is, how he’d kill anyone who dared talk to-LOOK at you, how he thinks you’re such a soft, beautiful little thing that he just wants to protect but oh how he fucking loves ruining your angel wings.

[ishhbowl]

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People are always like "id love to fuck a monster 😍" but the second I pull out my mandibles they start looking for the bug spray. Whats up with thst

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hey Boy sexy... you like human babes? Clickclickclick click here

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Whys there a bot on my post. No ones falling for you get better

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OUTTA MY WAY GAYBOY IM BOUT TO GET IT

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edit: wow this post popped off!! stream smoke with the devil 😊

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This post has 6 notes

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this is just like my friend rand.. Lol! 😆

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SHUT UP TAHTS NOT FUNNY!!!!I HOPE YYOU DIE MOTHERFUCKER

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would you rather i call you my boy toy

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day 8 no zaza. i can feel the remnants of my flesh dripping slowly down the wall

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I thought you died

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they got 5g up here

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god made me to be the cutest transsexual in louisiana and to slonk that shit nasty but now i gotta experience the mfin horrors dawgg i hate this town

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wow this post popped off!! stream smoke with the devil 😊

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PLEASE stop reblogging all my posts with this

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Whats ace attorney

[deathofacupid]

daddy's money | peter parker

get your mind outta the gutter. also, y/n is tony stark's daughter.

summary: you don't like the idea of a new step-mother, so you take things into your own hands.

she scowled at the woman sitting in front of her, stabbing her broccoli in hopes that it would control the pending urge of wanting to stab rachel.

rachel.

filthy little woman. y/n was sure, 100% sure, that she was only here for the money. if only her father could see that, she thought, continuing to assault the veggies in front of her.

rachel was her tony's new fling. or at least that's what she had thought. until the woman sat in her eyeline, flaunting her new diamond ring.

that's a fat stone.

every single little thing about rachel just seemed to set y/n off. from the way she bugged about coffee coasters, to how she scrunched her stupidly perfect nose when she laughed. the stark girl wanted to drag that lady out the front door by her hair.

"y/n, honey," her infuriating voice called out, "is everything alright? i was just asking your father about your boyfriend. i would absolutely love to meet him!"

"no, thanks. don't need another person getting brainwashed by you," she muttered under her breath.

"i'm sorry, what was that?"

"nothing."

"surely you've told him about me, no?"

y/n returned the smile, except hers had sarcasm dripping from it. "it must have slipped my mind, rachel, but i'm not sure it would have come up, anyways. we really only talk about important things."

rachel opened her mouth to respond, but her father had already gotten to that. "y/n," he warned.

"yes, daddy?" she asked, her voice the most innocent it could be.

he looked at her with exasperation before turning back to his fiancée to tell her about peter.

y/n huffed and crossed her arms, debating if she should throw a tantrum or not, as childish as it was. "can i be excused?" she didn't wait for an answer as her push her chair away from the table, already hitting the button for the elevator.

she laid in bed that night, thinking of a way to show her dad she didn't want this. she didn't need another family member. their family was perfect the way it was, just the two of them, was it not?

y/n grinned to herself, formulating a plan already. she was gonna make him pick.

her or rachel?

and she hoped her answer was right.

~.*.~

y/n saw peter approaching her from the corner of her eye, and waved him over to her locker. "hey, angel," he greeted, the cutest smile on his face. "how was your day?"

"it was okay. as good as mondays can be. you know, i really don't like mondays. or tuesdays. or wednesdays. or thursdays and fridays."

peter snickered at her, placing a kiss on her forehead. "that's okay, 'cuz you got me here to make your life amazing."

"on the note of amazingness," she started, kicking in her plan, "i've got a date planned for us."

"you do? wait, is today something important? is it your birthday? wait, no, my birthday? anniversary? fuck- no, wait, shit, um-"

"no, pete! can't a girlfriend do something excessively romantic for her boyfriend?"

"not this one, no," he teased. y/n stuck her tongue out at him, giggling slightly. she opened the notebook that she was holding and scribbled an address down, ripping the page out handing it to him. "meet me here. at six. in a tux, babe."

"woah, tux? what've you got planned?"

"please, i'm the daughter of tony stark. i'm allowed to plan good shit."

"yes, ma'am. six o'clock sharp. won't keep you waiting," peter winked.

"you better not," she retorted, poking his chest lightly.

laying a kiss on her cheeked, he walked backwards away from her, "bye, darling, love you," he called out.

"see you, baby."

~.*.~

he walked up to the large building, eyes wide as he rechecked the address from what seemed to be the place y/n had told him to arrive at. and this was definitely the one. by the looks of it, this place was fucking expensive, and he knew that. peter wasn't expecting something like this. he hesitantly pushed open the door, jaw dropping as he saw the shining chandelier that was hoisted into the air.

yep. definitely expensive.

"hello, sir, do you have a name for the reservation?"

"yes- no, um, maybe? actually, you see, i-"

"he's with me," y/n smiled, intertwining their hands as she stepped into the building. "reservation for stark."

the waitress's brows shot up, presumably after hearing the girl's surname.

"of course, right this way."

y/n pulled him through to the table. and it was a nice table. that was probably the first thing he noticed. after the waitress had left them alone, he finally got a chance to admire how the love of his life looked tonight.

"you look... um, really gorgeous, angel."

"why, thank you, parker. you don't look to shabby yourself."

she glanced down at the menu, skimming through to see what she wanted. peter did the same, and she knew he'd pick the cheapest thing. but it didn't matter, y/n had it covered.

"are you ready to order?" a different waiter asked.

"um, just a sec, i-"

"yes. one of everything, please."

"woah, wait, what? y/n, we don't-"

"we do," she shrugged, not even bothering to figure out the rest of what he was about to say. his eyes were wide, and he looked back and forth, from y/n to the man taking down the order.

"angel, this is crazy expensive. besides, there's no way we can eat all of that!"

"oh, well, what we can't finish we can pack. i'm sure may would enjoy some gourmet food. who doesn't?"

peter sighed, already confused and worried as to what she was planning. "will that be all?" the man asked.

what else is there to get? it's not like we've ordered literally one of everything, he thought. peter had no idea what the love of his life was up to. but whatever it was, he figured, it wouldn't be good. it was odd because was usually so careful with how she spent money, and now she was spending so much.

"baby, baby, get that look off your face. you're totally overthinking this."

"sorry i'm overthinking how your dad will kill me when he finds out you've ordered everything there is to order on the menu when we're supposed to be on a regular date," he scoffed.

"nah, love, he won't kill you. i think."

"jeez, makes me feel so much better."

"you need to shut up and enjoy this."

"okay, okay, i'm done now!"

"uh-huh. and either way, babe," she started, a shit-eating grin plastered to her face, "it's daddy's money."

~.*.~

the second his love walked through the doors of the school that, he was happy, but also exasperated. every single day of the past two weeks, she had gotten his a ridiculously expensive present. he had tried so hard to tell her he didn't need it, but then she'd pull that face that made him melt. the one where she parted her lips and pouted the slightest. where her brows were upturned and her eyes were wider than normal. and then... he had no choice but to give in.

peter was slightly scared to see what it was this time. why was she spending so much on him? spending so much of tony's money.

but he did have a suspicion.

"hey, mr. stark," peter greeted, giving a small wave as he approached the older man who seemed to be tearing his hair out at his computer.

"oh, hey, peter."

"you don't normally sound that disappointed to see me," he joked.

"no... it's not that, it's just," he sighed, "god sakes, my daughter's been running up thousand upon thousands of dollars! it's ridiculous! she's already spent just over a million!" the boy winced, frowning.

"i know it's not really my place to, um, say this, but have you talked about... er- rachel to her? i-it just seems like she isn't... how do i say this? fond? she doesn't seem fond of her." fond wasn't the right word. more like hate. hate with a burning passion. the fact that y/n cursed about the lady to him was a hint. just a hint.

tony sucked in a breath, "well, kind of." he opened his mouth, trying to figure out how to explain this. "i know y/n doesn't like rachel. but i thought maybe if we got more serious, like, i don't know, engaged, she would see that rachel's here to stay. i love both them, i really do, but i can't figure out how to get them to love each other." tony paused. "is that was this is? this whole money thing, peter?"

"...yes. well, i think. look, mr. stark, y/n isn't great with change. and you know this as much as i do. try and level with her here, a heart to heart or something. honestly... i think she's just, um, scared." he knew she'd kill him if she ever heard him say that. instinctively, he looked around, just to double check. his girlfriend didn't come close to an avenger, but she scared him more than any of them ever did. definitely got that part from her dad.

"yeah, no, i think you're right." he paused. "nope, still sounds weird to say aloud."

peter shrugged, "at the end of the day, whether she likes it or not, you're still her dad. and i know y/n wants to see you happy, and if this is it... she'll understand."

"i know, i know. wait, what do you mean, 'whether she likes it or not?'"

"uh, so, i'm gonna go now. good luck, mr. stark," he rambled, rushing out.

tony took a deep breath as he enter the elevator, preparing himself to go talk to his daughter. he knocked quietly on the door, "y/n, sweetheart?"

"dad?" she asked, peeking her head out the door.

"um, yeah, can i come in? i want to talk to you."

"er- okay," y/n opened the door wider for him to come in. "what's up?"

"a lot," he pressed his lips together, "like the sky, cosmos-"

"what? wait, no, dad-"

"yeah, i know. that was the worst one yet," tony chuckled, glancing at her and taking a seat on her bed. he patted the spot beside him, motioning the girl over. she did so, plopping herself down.

"look, peanut, i know you don't like rachel. trust me, i got those subtle hints. you know, like you spending a million dollars on stupidly expensive things. but y/n, i really like her. she's it for me. it's like what you have with peter, but, like, varied. we aren't half as sappy."

she hummed in annoyance, playfully rolling her eyes before looking down at her hands.

"why do we need her? i don't want, nor need, a mom. much less a stepmom. much, much, less rachel. am- am i not enough? is that why?" her voice broke slightly, showing her vulnerability.

tony quickly took her hands in his, eyes widening. "no, no, no, y/n. of course not, sweetheart. did you really think that?" tears pooled in his eyes as he reassured his daughter. "you come first. you have always, always, always come first, from the second you were brought into this world. you come before her, and you will stay my first priority, forever. please trust that. you are everything to me, honey, everything. rachel isn't going to change anything."

"you mean it?" she cried. "promise?"

"i promise, sweetheart," he murmured, sniffing as he pulled his daughter into the safe place that was his arms. and they stayed like that for a while, until y/n pulled away.

"okay," she whispered. "i don't like rachel, and i can't guarantee that it'll change soon, but i'll try."

"that's all i need, honey. i love you 3000," he winked.

y/n hugged him again, and after a second, "did peter put you up to this?"

"you've got one heck of a boyfriend."

"i know, daddy."

[ddejavvu]

ok so now im stuck on the whole stepdad!james maybe dark ask i jsut send in, but obviously this james is the tried and true, big beefy rugby lad, gentle giant, that type.

but you just know that the lads take the PISS outta him, like he doesn’t introduce ur mom as “the missus”, or anything endearing, but once the boys find out that ur sorta kinda his step daughter?? ohh the porn jokes come flooding in.

want her to call u daddy james? oh stepdad im stuck over the couch again!!

and james can’t help but flush red cus he doesn’t really like ur mom like that, but he wants to be around you cus ur pretty and nice (not to mention ur a lot closer in age), and then. oh then. u get an almost-boyfriend.

a guy who sorta tries asking you on a date so u sorta try and go, but james is a fuckin baby about it once he finds out. all petulant and flushed cheeks bc he CANT say anything to u bc he’s not an official authority figure in ur life, or a potential romantic interest cus he hasn’t said so, so he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place so he tries to put issues in place like forgetting to dry ur date dress, or making ur favourite meal bc oh bug im so sorry i totally forgot ur going out tonight!! :((

i just want beefy james potter and his big fat fucking tits at this point that’s so cringe but MY GOD 🙏🙏

this post is 18+ (and so are its characters) and dark, minors dni.

THIS IS SO SPECIAL TO ME :')) james is already a certified lover boy but when he can't express that whenever he wants to?? totally whipped!! he's constantly calling you honey or love or sweetheart and when his friends realize that he doesn't call your mom any of that shit they lay into him so hard </33 sirius sends him porn links that he passes on his way to whatever he's looking for that are labeled stepdad or stepdaughter something along those lines, along with teasing remarks like 'this kinda looks like your kitchen. been up to anything fun with y/n?' or 'if you're looking for any ideas ;)'

when.. when you tell him you're going out. oh my god. he doesn't know what to say!! he can't stop you, and if he tattles on you to your mom she won't stop you, because what reason would she have? so he just nods all stiff and tells you he's happy for you. he bolts from the room as soon as he can, and you think it's kinda weird/mean but he seems fine later so you brush it off!! but the reason that he's fine is that he's just schemed with sirius and remus to get you to stay home for the date and he's confident now that you won't go </3

you're so right he does bait you with your favorite meal.. he calls you downstairs to ask you to taste the sauce for him and you come down in a full face of makeup!! he tells you that you look so pretty, but asks what it's for. you're like james.. my date?? and he goes ohhh, honey i forgot! i made your favorite :( i thought we could have a movie night!! your mom's at work :') and you feel sosososo bad bc he seems so hopeful about it and you don't want him to think that you don't like him!! but you're still planning on this date, so you tell him you'll eat light and come home early.

not good enough for him!! he just smiles and nods and tells you your dress is fresh out of the dryer, but ohhh it shrunk :( it's too tight now!! he's so sorry for ruining it, he must have put it on the wrong setting :( he'll take you to the mall tomorrow to replace it!! and you're pretty discouraged now, your outfit is ruined, you feel guilty for leaving, so you just raincheck the guy :( you feel super bad, especially because he thinks you're just getting cold feet, and snaps at you that he wouldn't have enjoyed your company anyways. this means you're sad and feeling guilty, and james gets to croon over how mean he was and how sweet you are for still feeling bad and he wraps you up in his big strong arms beside the stove and lets you bury your face in his big broad chest and he coddles you for as long as you’ll let him :’) he shovels your comfort meal into your mouth and puts on your favorite movie and snuggles up under blankets with you and at the end of the night you end up snoozing on his shoulder while the credits roll :’) he carries you up to your bed and tucks you all snug under your covers and he can’t stop himself from kissing your forehead :’)) your face is warm and flushed and he yearns to kiss your lips but he tears himself away and leaves you there with a promise to himself that he’ll treat you better than anyone else because it’s what you deserve :’)